#this one got into a car crash a couple weeks ago and was telling us about how boring bed rest is and why he decided he didn’t need it

[dreamwritersworld]

Space..(mike schmidt x reader)

Your relationship with mike was beautiful before all your responsibilities came crashing down.

late night shifts…

taking care of abby…

arguments…

Now there was tension and you hadn’t spoken to each other in what felt like weeks..

Your days were filled of waking up early beside Mike who was still asleep from the late nights shifts, bags under both of your eyes.

It hurt seeing him so different then before, you guys had fallen in love young and stayed together since then. Once Mike was given the responsibility of Abby everything changed, of course you loved her but it was true.

The reality was you were now given a child and the dynamic of your relationship shifted. You both took your role and for the first three weeks it was stressful yet remained peaceful, Abby wasn’t as open to Mike as she was to you…not until later on.

Two weeks ago is when it started, Mike was getting lazy. It was as if he had given up on taking care of the family..

This was the fifth time in a row that Mike had walked past me, after coming home from work. He hadn’t bothered to say hello, like he usually did before. We haven’t spoken in forever because now he sleeps and goes.

I had woken up earlier than usual to get Abby ready for her picture day. Breakfast was prepped for us, we ate and picked out the clothes she’d wear. I spent the morning perfecting her curls and jewelry, sending her off and leaving her at the parking lot of the school..

“You look so beautiful Abby, I can’t wait to see your pictures!!”

“Thank you Y/n, will you pick me up today or are you working another shift?”

I couldn’t help but sigh remembering that Mike forgot her the other three times, leaving her waiting for me to pick her up while he slept.

“I can’t today princess I’ll be working but I can assure you that your brother won’t forget you!”

Abby smiled and waved goodbye giving me one last hug before she left the car

I made sure to send a text to mike reminding her to not forget her and he replied ok, my worries were taken care of and I had reliefs…

A couple hours later while at work my phone was going off like crazy, and when I picked it up I saw it was calls from the school and I answered immediately, walking away to go someplace quiet..

“Hello? I’m Abby’s caretaker is anything wrong? Did her brother forget her?”

“Ahh yes he did. We were just a little worried as it has been about 20 minutes since school ended, will you be picking her up?”

“Yes! I will I’m leaving work right now! Thank you for calling I’m so sorry for the wait!”

“We understand, we’ll see you soon.”

The call ended and although I remained calm on the call I was infuriated. There I was once again having to tell the boss for the fourth time in the row that my boyfriend had an emergency and i had to pick up his little sister from school…of course he was mad urging me to fix the issue or else we’d have a problem.

I ran to my car soaking wet from the rain, rushing across the roads and through the traffic to get Abby. It was embarrassing, having to pick her up once again seeming like the most imperfect caretaker. This wasn’t what abby needed or deserved and this wouldn’t look good in family court for her either.

The school released abby to me and I stood there for awhile apologizing profusely to the teacher who had to wait for her. Once I made my goodbyes we ran to the car and I realized that Abby was holding tears in her eyes, her curls had gotten messy and her dress wet.

“Oh abby i am so sorry-“

“No! It’s fine! Really it’s fine! It’s not your fault.”

Her voice had raised and cracked when she spoke.

“…no it’s not fine. I’ll fix this Abby I promise, once we get home and get you cleaned up.”

We walked into a silent home I got a bath ready and that I left clothes for abby to change into, walking away from the bathroom in a calmed hurry.

“Mike? Mike.”

He was woken up in a slum his bags lighter from the rest he had.

“What?”

I took a sigh at the attitude he sent my way and I stood in front of the bed, trying to remain patient without yelling, realizing it was a hard time for the both of us…but I just couldn’t handle the situation.

“We’ve gone over this before. I know your working late and your exhausted but I can’t keep leaving work to pick up Abby. I need you Mike, I need you to take care of her.”

“Please don’t give me that bullshit Y/n. I take care of her, she has roof over her head and so do you. I don’t need that, dinner was ready for you by the time you guys came back home. I missed a couple of days so what?”

“Excuse me? Mike are you serious? Do you know how that will hold up in court? Mike! She came into the car soaking wet, exhausted and frustrated that she had to wait for someone to pick her up again. I help you Mike so don’t act like I’m living off you-“

“You act as if Abby’s a chore Y/n, is that helping? Cause you always seem to sound like your complaining-“

The tears of stress that I had held in for so long had fallen, the shock of his words felt like too much to handle

“How dare you?! Don’t you ever say that! I love her Mike. I’m still here. I’m present and I care for her. Do you even realize how lucky you are to have her Mike? Because your starting to treat her like she’s not even in the room and your doing the same to me. It’s not fair! Not to her, and not to me either!”

“I get that but I’m stuck Y/n, all you do is take her from here to there and go to work and come back home to a cooked meal.”

“Why don’t you care? Your just comparing our routines, Mike have you even factored the fact that I clean for you, and that on the days where it’s too hard for you to get up I’ll handle the cooking whenever? You act as though I don’t do my part in the rent. I take care of abby she’s a kid Mike. She doesn’t need you to just give her the bare necessities, she needs love.”

He was holding my heart and squeezing it apart and it had to be fine, because it was him. Mike was the man I had fallen in love with, I gave him my everything. Nausea hit me and I couldn’t stand being in the room with him, I walked away and he hadn’t even followed just mumbling that he was tired.

I rushed away in a hurry, tears falling. I was going to get into my car but I had thrown up when I went to open my door. I have been thrown up a lot lately..my body was always sore, and I’ve been getting my energy drained easily..was I pregnant?

My car was swerving to the nearest pharmacy, my trip led to taking a test in the bathroom, and sobbing holding the positive test in my arms. I’ve never felt so stuck in my life, my relationship was in shambles, I had Abby as my child and another would be an addition to the fire..

I cried my entire way home, shaking and afraid to tell the news…my hands rubbed off the painful tears before I walked in, afraid Abby would be awake watching TV.

Mike walked in a rush breathing heavily,

“I-I thought you weren’t going to come back, Y/n I am so sorry…I’m sorry.”

I walked up to him pulling on his arm to come to our room. The tears flowed again…and I was standing before him, door closed as he watched me with a confused face. I wasn’t one to cry unless I was really hurt by something..

“..im pregnant.” I had spoken the news in a hushed voice emotional and afraid of his reaction

“w-what?”

“i’m pregnant..”

“..no..no..” he sat down with his head between his hands

“please don’t shut me out Mike…we need to talk.”

“Talk about what? What more is there to talk about?”

“We need to talk about us, about abby, what we’re going to do. keep your voice down you’ll wake Abby..”

“Ok well there’s nothing else to talk about your pregnant, we have another mouth to feed.”

“…that’s it?”

“Yea that’s it!”

“why are you yelling at me?”

“Im not yelling at you.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not..my god..alright whatever.”

“You don’t understand how hard this is, this is my body.”

“No I do get it.”

“No you don’t get it. You haven’t been there for us Mike, for our family. You go to work and you barley speak to us.-“

“Our family? This wasn’t a family until two seconds ago Y/n we haven’t spoken in weeks-“

“…Because you haven’t tried! And I’m drowning trying to keep our relationship going!”

“Yea and i get that but we’re struggling to hold everything together and we just got abby as our kid we shouldn’t be having one on the way right now.”

I took a step back turning around to change out of my clothes frustrated with his attitude to the situation

“Ok well, it happened. We have to figure it out.”

“Im not gonna be able to do this Y/n…Between you, abby, and this baby i can’t provide for us…We have to let Abby go.”

“What? You think she’s going to be happy with your aunt? You don’t care about anyone but your fucking self! That’s why I can’t talk to you!”

“I don’t care about no one but my fucking self right now?”

he approached me closer with anger and I pushed him away.

“Fuck you, move!”

I made my attempts to leave as he pulled me in getting in my face holding me close

“We can keep the baby Y/n, we just have to make sacrifices. I need to keep you safe and Abby needs to have a better home.”

My tears fell into his hands and sobs fell as I shook my head at his words.

“Fuck you! You think I’m gonna raise my baby with you? Look at you!”

“What do you mean look at me? I’m here for you-“

“No your not, stop saying that!”

I shoved him again as my heart continued to shatter

“Please Y/n just stay.”

“No…no Mike anything but that..you can’t give up on Abby..please.”

He held me close pulling down to the bed as I sobbed

“Ok..ok we’ll figure something out..I need you Y/n…I love you.”

he was pausing and crying in between as we slowly fell asleep once again..

When it was time to wake up I opened Abby’s door to see her quietly sitting down with tears in her eyes and a packed bag.

“What are you doing baby? What is this? Why are you crying?”

“A-are you going to send me away?”

“What? How could I? Oh no..no, Abby. I would never.”

I sat down beside her pulling her to lay down on my leg as I gently pulled her hair away from her face

“I heard what Mike said about me..”

“you heard..”

i looked up with an ashamed face, frustrated at Mike.

“He didn’t mean it, I promise you he didn’t mean it. Abby I love you, I can’t give you up especially to her..she doesn’t deserve you.”

“…he still said it..”

“i know but he didn’t mean it..I promise.”

i wiped her tears away and let her play, as I prepped breakfast and got ready to leave for work.

It had been a long shift and I was exhausted going back home.

“No Abby, you can’t come to work with me.”

“Please, I want to.”

“N-“

I almost made it past but Abby’s screeching stopped me.

“Y/n!!! Tell Mike to take me!”

“Oh Abby you know he can’t..please just come go to bed I’m exhausted.”

The room grew silent as Mike watchedhow I came in with my work bag and bagged eyes.

“Fine Abby we can go but you have to behave, and Y/n can get rest while we’re gone.”

“…Mike it’s fine, that’s not a good idea, I’ll be-“

“Y/n I got it, just get some rest babe.”

I gave him a kiss walking away calmly but as I waited in I couldn’t help but get a bad feeling…

*💕*

hope you enjoyed!! and i can assure you that Mike would not act like this irl!! I JUST NEED ANGST! :) please be aware that im just starting to come back into writing and trying to find my drive for it again, Thank you!!!

#angst #mike schmidt #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt imagine #josh hutcherson #SoundCloud

[itsscromp]

Home, a place where I can go

To celebrate the reboot of my blog. I have decided to give you all the fluffiest of fluff by the best dad in gaming history. This spin-off idea (which I will call what if's) is courtesy of me and @callofdudes y'all are gonna love it !! What if Simon ran away from home and Price ended up adopting him and years later a young y/n too ?? Warnings: Mentions of abuse and potential inaccuracies (Please let me know if there are any) Word count:4.6K

Simon Riley 'Age 10' has had a hard life, He hated coming home to the endless cycle of abuse from his father, and after the latest incident, he's had enough. Forming a plan two weeks ago to leave, he began to act on it, when he came back from school, he rushed upstairs and grabbed his backpack with his clothes and such. But when he returned downstairs, look who was there to greet him...

"And where the fuck do you think your going mate !!??" Simon could smell the alcohol in his breath. "Leaving..." He said quietly.

"You wouldn't even survive 5 hours on the streets..." He then slowly walked over, If Simon didn't leave soon, he knew what would happen next, So without hesitation he bolted for the door, dodging his dad's arms and heading outside, running as fast as he could. "I'll find you soon Simon!!!!" His dad yelled. But Simon didn't care, he was now free... he was free.

He ran until he couldn't no more, crashing under a nearby bridge, it was cold but it was shaded, away from the rain. He sighed out in relief at the fact he was out and away... from him. He pulled his blanket out from his backpack and wrapped it around him to keep himself safe and warm.

The following afternoon, Simon stayed right under the bridge but he only had a jam sandwich and a couple of snacks on him, he knew that alone wasn't going to last. He watched all the cars drive by from above, making a game for himself to count the cars with the same colours. But then... He noticed one car stopping nearby. His instincts kicking back in... The car looked like his dad's car, So he quickly packed his blanket in his backpack as fast as he could before he could have the chance.

"Woah woah woah... It's ok..." But the person that got out of the car wasn't his dad... it was a young man... In a bright polo shirt. "It's ok... I'm not here to hurt you"

Simon opened his mouth, wanting to scream at him, tell him he was not going with him, not going back to him. But he remained quiet, almost utterly frozen in fear. The young man slowly moved forward with almost a kind smile.

"My name is A/n, I'm from the *adoption agency name* It's ok..." He made it to Simon, showing he wasn't a threat. But the instincts were still on fire inside Simon. No one could be trusted at this point. "Please... it's too cold and dangerous to be out here for someone your age." He offered his hand to Simon.

Simon hesitated greatly, He didn't want to go anywhere, the what-ifs clouded his mind as to think this could be a trap. But a part of his mind was screaming safety very softly, He was right. It was very cold, He didn't have any food and he'd be in danger the longer he stayed out. So slowly and hesitantly, he took A/n's hand. To which he smiled and slowly went back to the car with him, Nice and warm as Simon hopped in.

They soon arrived at the agency where A/n showed him a spare room. "Are you hungry ??" He asked Simon, to which the loud growling of his stomach gave the answer away. "I'll be right back ok ??" He smiled and went to find him some food.

Simon sat down on the bed, soft and comfortable. But his guard was still up, again what if this was a trap. He wasn't used to this amount of kindness before. A/n soon came back with a plate of fresh hot food and handed it to Simon. He ate the food as A/n sat down next to him. "Can you tell me your name ??" He asked. But Simon froze... If he told him, would he know who he is ?? He sat there for a little while trying to fight his own thoughts in his head. "It's ok... take your time" A/n gently reassured him. After a bit he finally and quietly said. "Simon"

3.5 months later

While there, Simon was still a little quiet, but he opened up a small bit, telling A/n he doesn't want to go back home, and how he's scared to go back home, telling him about some of the stuff his dad does... to him. Which immediately concerned him, So he reassured him that he would find a safe space for him when the time came... and it may have arrived.

John Price always dreamed of being a dad, To show one child all the love and affection he had in him. But military life had been straining that dream tight, So he decided to act on that dream now rather than wait, he went to multiple adoption agencies nearby, But the suitable matches weren't going anywhere in London. So he broadened his expansion to Manchester.

A/n was busy filling out some paperwork when he saw Price walk in. "Oh hello sir, How can I help you ??" He smiled at him. "Hi, I was looking into adopting if that's ok ??" He asked him.

"Oh that's wonderful, Come, have a seat" He and Price began the formal interview, Price really didn't want to get his hopes up during the whole thing. But then... "I do think we may have a child who would love your company" He smiled and passed him a file. Price opened it to reveal the file of a child named Simon Riley, As he read it, He couldn't help but feel very sad. This poor kiddo, he just wanted to wrap him in the softest blanket and make him a nice hot cocoa. "Would you like to meet him ??" A/n offered, to which Price nodded. "Of course"

The two then went to his room and A/n knocked on his door. "Simon, may I come in ??" He asked.

"Yes..." He answered.

"Just wait out here" A/n whispered to price as he entered the room. "Hey... How are you feeling ??"

"Ok" He answered bluntly.

"Simon... There's someone I'd like you to meet, He is really interested in adopting you, Isn't that exciting ??" He smiled, but Simon froze up. The fear returned to him. "N...No..." He grew scared.

"Simon, I promise I'll still be here, I'll be in the room ok ??" He gently reassured him. After a bit of convincing. Simon agreed to let Price meet him. "You can come in now" He opened the door a bit and walked back in, Price entered the room saw Simon and smiled. "Hey kiddo" He greeted. "Hi..." Simon said, not making eye contact with price. Price gently walked over and sat next to him, seeing the comic book in Simon's hand. "Bit of a batman fan are we ??" He inspected the cover, Simon nodding. He loved batman with his life.

It was a little quiet before Simon started to make very small talk, It was going smoothly for a little while but Price could see he was still very hesitant. So he asked A/n to meet him outside for a little bit. "I understand if he's a little quiet..." A/n tried to say.

"No, it's not that... Would it be ok if we just did a trial weekend ?? Help him warm up a little bit." He asked him. "Oh... yes yes, of course, Let me run it with him ok ??' He asked and Price nodded. Entering back in the room, A/n sat next to him. "Simon, Could I ask you something ??' He asked, Simon looked at him briefly and nodded slowly. "Mr price really would love to get to know you, He's asked if it's ok with you, Would you like to stay a weekend with him ??"

Simon's eyes went slightly wide, New fears ran all over his head, what if it could happen all over again... No, don't be so stupid, they wouldn't be that stupid... Would they ?? "I understand it sounds very scary, But we promise, just one weekend, If you didn't like it in the end that's ok too"

Simon thought about it for a little while, It was just one weekend and that was it. So... He decided to give it a go. After packing for a weekend, Simon followed Price back to his car and hopped in, beginning the drive. "You comfortable back there kiddo ?? It's gonna be a bit of a drive" Price looked back as Simon nodded to him. Soon beginning the drive to London.

Simon remained quiet for the entirety of the drive, Looking out the window and seeing things roll past him. Price sometimes looked back in the rearview mirror, seeing him. Hopefully, he does a good job. Soon arriving back in London, They made it back to Price's house, The two getting the much-needed stretches in. "Always a good feeling hey ??" Price smiled at him. Simon remained quiet and nodded, Following price to the door as he unlocked it.

He invited Simon inside, Slowly walking in, the first thing he saw was family photos on the wall. It made him feel slightly ill looking at them, Why couldn't he have that ?? He then spotted a TV in the living room and an arrangement of DVDs on a bookshelf. Looking through them, He noticed there were a lot of different types of movies, Back with... him, it was always very violent and scary movies. But with Price, he had a whole different taste. "Come, I'll show you your room." He smiled, leading Simon to the spare bedroom A nice big bed with freshly made sheets. "You look tired, Do you need to rest ??' Price asked. Simon yawned and nodded. "Ok, I'll be downstairs if you need me" Price smiled and gently closed the door.

Simon took off his shoes and crawled into the bed, Gently closing his eyes, Getting the needed rest after a very long drive. A couple hours later, he was awoken by... Some delicious smells. What could they be ??

He got up and crept down the stairs, Seeing Price cook dinner, It looked like... Lasagna... He could also hear Price hum to himself as he was singing something to the tune of the radio. As Price placed the lasagna in the oven, he noticed Simon and smiled, walking over gently. "Hey there kiddo, Sleep ok ??" Simon nodded at the question before saying "I did..."

Price smiled and gently brought his hand to Simon's head, Gently ruffling it. Simon couldn't help but twitch a smile briefly. No one has ever done this... The name of endearment, the physical affection, it was all new to him. "You wanna watch a movie ??" Price offered, Simon slowly nodded and followed Price to the living room. He sat down on the couch and kicked his legs slightly as Price went to the DVD cabinet and picked out a couple of movies, Going back to Simon, he showed him what there was on offer.

Chicken run... prince of Egypt... ... a bug's life... Simon stared at the cases for a little while before ultimately handing 2 back to Price and chose Chicken Run. "That one ??" He nodded. Price smiled, placed the DVDs back, popped the current movie into the player and started the movie, sitting next to Simon. He was intrigued by the premise of the movie, eyes glued to the screen. Price smiled as he saw him watching the movie, Inviting him to snuggle closer... Simon saw it and stared at him for a little bit before looking back at the screen. Maybe not just yet.

Price heard the bell of the oven ding and went over to serve the plates. Coming back to Simon with some cutlery and a tea towel, he offered him the fresh hot plate. "Careful now, It's still a little hot" Price warned Simon. "Thank you..."

Simon stared at his plate for a little bit, It looked... really delicious. "I make a killer lasagna" Price said to him proudly with a wink. Simon soon took the cutlery, cutting into it and taking a bite after blowing on it... Oh... It was... So delicious !!! Price smiled as he saw Simon happily eat his food. Once finished, Simon was a happy fed boy. But then... Another thing he was never asked back then... "Would you like some ice cream ??" He was never allowed to have ice cream after dinner. It was very strange, But he ended up saying... "Yes please"

Price nodded and got up, taking the empty plates with him and soon grabbing two bowls and a spoon, Taking the tub of ice cream out of the freezer, he scooped some up and placed them into the bowls. Handing it back to Simon. "There we go" he smiled as he sat back down.

Simon slowly ate as the movie continued, He felt... Like he was seen, He was being helped... He couldn't control his wobbly lip and the tears in his eyes as he snuggled up to price. This man made him feel... safe. Price noticed and smiled wide, wrapping an arm around Simon as the movie continued. Once it was finished, Price looked at him. "Did you enjoy that kiddo ??" He rubbed his arm gently.

"I... I did... Thank you, Mr Price" he said, snuggling impossibly closer to him. Price smiled and then soon, mischief took over him. Creeping his other arm around him, he then began... The tickle attack !!!, Simon gasped before launching into an array of giggles. Trapped in the clutches of Price's ticklish fingers "My my kiddo, So ticklish you are" He chuckled as he continued to tickle Simon's sides.

In that moment... Simon was home... He felt at home...

4 years later.

Simon *now age 14* has been living with Price for 4 years and their bond became unbreakable. He saw Price as a father figure, and even started calling him dad. Price loved Simon with everything within him. But he had a spare room in the house and more room in his heart for one more.

"Simon, can I talk to you about something ??" He sat down on the couch, inviting Simon.

"Hey Dad, What's up ??" Simon sat down next to him.

"How would you feel... If we opened up our home for one more ??" He smiled softly.

Simon sat there thinking about it, The thought of having... a sibling... That's nerve-wracking for a multitude of reasons... But like Price, he had room in his heart for one more as well. So with that, he agreed.

Price then decided to keep it close to home this time as he then went to the adoption agency in London again. But when he walked into the door, he saw a familiar face. "A/n ??"

A/n looked up and saw him, smiling "John, What a surprise"

Price smiled "What bring's you to London ??"

"Oh, they transferred me to the London Centre, It's been pretty fun. How is Simon doing anyway ??"

"Simon is doing good, He's really settled and I know he's happy." Price smiled wide, His kiddo was everything.

"Oh, that is absolutely amazing to hear"

"It is, I'm really proud of him"

"I'm glad he's doing nicely, So what can I do for you ??" He smiled, inviting price to sit.

"I had a talk with Simon and he's comfortable enough that I think another amazing addition to our house would make us all happy"

A/n nodded, smiling. "Oh wonderful, Ok let's get started then"

So once again the formal interview happened to match Price with a child. And then, they found one. A/n, passed a file to price.

"Y/n l/n" *age 12* Price opened the file and read through it.

"Poor child, Their mother kicked them out of the house and they had no family to go to... We found them on the streets and they've been mostly quiet"

Almost how Simon was found... "Can I talk to them ???" He asked. "Of course"

So they got up and walked to your room, A/n knocking on the door. "Y/n ??, I have someone I'd like you to meet"

"Come in..." You said hesitantly as the door opened.

"Y/n, this is John Price. He wants to meet and talk with you for a bit if that's ok ??"

You looked at him briefly and at Price who greeted you with a kind smile and nodded to you. You slowly nodded, indicating yes. "I'll leave you two be" A/n stepped outside as Price entered the room. "Hey y/n, can I sit ??"

You scooched over slowly, Indicating his invitation to do so. He sat down next to you, But not enough to intrude on your space. Seeing a book in your hand. "You like to read ??"

"Sometimes... depends on what it is" You answered him.

"Do you have a favourite genre ???"

"I like... sci-fi and thrillers"

"Nice, I'm a thriller kinda guy, but sci-fi gets thrown in there too" He smiled

"Oh yeah ??"

"Yeah. Have you ever read Sherlock Holmes?? It's one of my favourite book series"

You sat there thinking for a bit. "Hmmm no, I don't think I have"

"Maybe you'd like it. I think it's pretty good, but maybe you wouldn't that's ok too" He smiled.

You and Price continued to get to know each other for the next hour, You slowly began to open up a fair bit, telling Price about your hobbies and interests, even pulling out your figurine from your backpack. "This is Jason Todd, or red hood, He's from the Batman universe." You showed him.

"Oh wow, that's really cool... Y/n, I have a son back at home, His name is Simon and he is similar to you. If you were to meet him and see if you two got along, would you like that ??"

"I guess so..." You went quiet again... The whole situation was a tad bit daunting. You knew he meant well.

He could see the look on your face... He didn't want to force you into anything "What if I stop by later today or tomorrow so you two can spend some time together, Don't feel too pressured, only if you'd be comfortable."

You nodded gently "Ok..."

"It was lovely to meet you Y/n" He smiled and got up, Heading back home, Simone heard him enter the doorway "How did it go ??" Simone asked, Looking up from the tv.

"It went well, I met a kid named y/n, Would it be ok if I brought you over to meet them, I'd think you too would get along" He smiled softly.

"Yeah..." Simon was a little nervous, would you like him ??, Would they be freaked out by the mask ?? *Simon wears a skull surgical mask* He was very hesitant... But... he believed he was ready to be a sibling again.

Heading back to the centre with Simon in tow, A/n guided them to your room and knocked on the door. "Come in..." You said, Price entered the room first before Simon. "Hey again y/n, I brought my son Simon with me" He smiled. Simon stood behind him, quietly staring at you for a bit before waving a little.

"Hi..." You waved back.

He was a bit hesitant, Seeing if you were ok with his presence at first, But you didn't seem hesitant... so that's a good start. So Price gently turned to Simon, Softly smiling and nodding in the direction, He came over to you and sat next to you.

"Hi"

"Hey" He greeted

"Cool mask"

"Thanks... Most people are kind of freaked out by it"

"Well... I think it's cool"

"Thanks... Dad tells me you like to read ??' He tries to start a conversation with you.

"Yeah." You then showed him the book you were reading. A book called Wonder.

Simon inspected it for a bit, Slowly relaxing and sort of sitting on the edge of the bed. "This looks good"

"It is, I'm liking it so far." Price saw a slight shift in your body language, in a more positve note,

"What's your favourite ??' You asked.

"I'm into horror" He answered.

"Oh yeah ?? What's your favourite ???"

"I like Stephen King, I got to read the shining a couple months ago too"

"Nice, I've always wanted to read Carrie, that looks cool"

"I think I remember liking that one"

Price remained silent, soon slipping away outside to give you two the space you wanted, the atmosphere settled down, and it was comfortable. The two were engaging in a full conversation like you had with Price. It was nice, Simon could see why Price liked you, You were kind, and he didn't think he'd mind you becoming a part of the family, Soon price came back inside.

"How are you kiddo's going ??" He smiled

"Doing good" Y/n answered.

Simon nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we're doing good"

"That's great, I'm glad you two are getting along"

"Simon is really cool" You smiled softly.

Simon smiled as well under the mask. "Y/n is nice and cool as well"

This in turn makes Price smile. "Yeah ??" He then turned to you "Y/n, I know it's a lot all at once, but... If you two talked it out, would you want to come home with us ??"

"Oh..." You went quiet, Simon noticed this too.

"That's ok, It doesn't have to be right away. There's no pressure, I promise"

"Could you give us a minute ??" You asked price, To which he agreed and stepped out and nodded, Simon could see your hesitancy. "You guys are cool... But I don't know..."

Simon gently shifted and scooted over. "I know it's a huge step. But believe me, I was in the same position as you. I was... terrified of going home with John before, But he's really kind and he's given me everything i need and more, I know he wouldn't hesitate to do the same for you."

You continued to think about it... But the thoughts of your mom came back to you... the yelling, the stuff being thrown... You couldn't help but think that if you went back with them... It would happen all over again... "I... I can't... I'm too scared... Of it happening all over again, My mom... She used to do many things... Made me very scared... And I'm scared that if I go with you guys it'll happen all over again." You admitted. "I can't help but think... It'll happen all over again." You looked down at the floor, sad.

Simon hesitated for a bit until he gently placed his hand on your shoulder, softly squeezing it. "Y/n..." He hesitated for a bit, it was still too painful to talk about. "I understand that, I know what that's like, I'll say that much. I've lived with him for 4 years and haven't once thought I wasn't loved, With all the stuff I went through and the damage he had to repair... He just wants to love you and give you what you deserve and need, That's why he's here" He squeezed your shoulder again. "I know, I know how you feel. I was just as scared about that. But he's given me more love than I thought possible"

Listening to that, you started to have a change of heart. Maybe... Simon was right, Maybe Price really wanted to help you. "Ok... I'll give it a chance" You nodded, turning to Simon.

He smiled a little under his mask.

Price then came back inside after a bit. "Have you given it a bit of thought y/n ??"

You nodded. "I'll give you a chance"

With that, Price smiled wide and nodded. Like Simon, you were given a weekend with the two. So you packed your bag, and before you knew it, you were in the car with them heading to their home... Possibly your home too.

You arrive at their house soon after. "Woah..." It was a relatively big house.

"Welcome home" Price smiled, Opening the door for you.

"Thank you" You smiled softly and entered, It was nice and cozy.

"Come on, I'll show you your room" Simon said to you and guided you upstairs, Placing your bag down as you sat down on the bed. "It's nice and comfy hey ??" He smiled softly at you. "Yeah, Where's your room ??"

"This used to be mine, But dad let me use the basement as my room" He said.

Speaking of Price. "The room nice and cozy ??' He asked you.

"It is, Thank you" You nodded.

"I'll get dinner started shortly, you two keep each other company eh ??"

Simon turned to you "Come on, I'll set up my XBOX in the living room" He rushed downstairs, You hightailing. XBOX ?? You liked XBOX.

He then set everything up, sitting down and passing you a controller. "I got halo 2 or sonic heroes" He said to you, showing you the cases. You looked at them for a little bit. Interesting choices, In the end, You ended up with halo 2.

Simon placed the disk in and the game started, soon the two of you were having fun, Price could see you start to warm up more to Simon. It was like the two of you were Immediately best friends. He soon eventually came over to you two. "Dinner will be ready soon kiddos" He smiled, gently squeezing Simon's shoulder and ruffling your hair, to which you giggled. "Hey" You fixed it up. It was the first time Price heard you laugh.

"I think it looks better this way" He smirked, ruffling it again. "Stop" You giggled again.... and soon he slipped his hands under your shoulders, Get em Simon" He smiled. Simon get's your waist and the two start tickling you, Launching you into further giggles and laughs

"Gotcha kiddo" Price chuckled, tickling you harder, making you squeak out your laughs.

"Your just as ticklish as Simon" He smirked as he continued. "So so ticklish you are"

"Stohohoho....Stohohoho..." You said in between laughs.

"They almost had it Dad" Simon looked up at him.

"They did, So close y/n, try again" He smirked.

Happy tears started to emerge from your eyes as you finally got out. "STOHOHOHOHOHOHP"

"There it is" They finally let you go. You smiled, curling in on yourself. Price ruffling your head again. Soon the oven dinged, and dinner was ready. Simon bolted to the kitchen as dinner was being served. You weren't too far. He served you... His iconic lasagna. "This looks delicious" You said as he sat down.

"Eat away kiddo" He smiled as you all started to eat, Like Simon, this was the best thing you ever had. It was just so delicious. You didn't even realise you burped once you finished. "Sorry..." You apologised, but then Simon did you one better and let out a louder, longer burp. "Excuse me dad" Which made you giggle. Price chuckled softly and turned to you. "It's ok."

Once dinner was done, You and Simon went back to your halo match as the bond between you two grew... And then, you made your decision...

"Mr price, can I talk to you."

"Of course kiddo what's up ??" He smiled softly at you.

You turned to Simon and back to him before looking at your hands shyly, Trying to come up with the words. "It's ok take your time." He reassured before Simon saw you and walked to the entrance of the kitchen.

With a deep breath... "I... I want to stay with you guys... Not for one weekend."

You wanted to be adopted into their family, Your family. Price smiled so wide and soon pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. Simon didn't hesitate and rushed over to you. Hugging you tightly. Making you giggle, You were home...

You were home.

A/N: A great way to start the new blog by breaking my own word count record :D

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

#platonic #reader insert #john price #captain john price #john price x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #captain john price x reader #call of duty #call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 9:

And when we go crashing down we come back every time..

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: Eating disorder

Day 1:

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

I felt the fresh morning air streaming in my lungs. Felt the first rays of sunshine warming my skin.

Silence. No traffic sounds. No humans chatting in the busy streets. No sound from construction sites. Silence. I straightened my back and sat up, spread my legs wide before I leaned forwards. Upper body touching the wooden planks of the porch. I could feel the stretch in my lower back, almost thought I would hear the creaking of the screws and iron plate. Then I got carefully up and leaned all to way to my left side, before I did the same on the right. Back up in my sitting position I closed my eyes again.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Starting over again.

Day 4:

"Come on, Liz! 5 more! 4, 3, 2, 1. And down." JK clapped when I slowly got up.

"I hate planks." I said and took the water bottle he offered me "What are we having today?" I took a sip and scrunched up my nose.

"Ginger, lime, mint. Good for the digestive system and also good for stress relief." he answered and I drank some more.

"Ugh, I hate ginger and mint is also not a favourite…" I mumbled and JK rolled his eyes.

"It’s good for you. Period. Get down, your 60 seconds break is over in 3, 2, 1 and plank…" god how I hated him at times, why was he always this freaking positive and cheerful.

Day 7:

"Liz, the race starts in 49 minutes, so if you want to watch it, hurry up." JK shouts from the pier and I try my best to finish the next 12 lengths in time for the race start. As I looked up after some time he waved me to him and I swam as fast as possible.

"Here, 22 minutes left!" he said as he helped me out of the lake and wrapped me in a big towel "Come on, hot tea and lunch are waiting." we make our way up to the cabin. What took me a week ago 9 minutes with crutches now only took me 5, still with crutches but the process was there.

Back in the cabin I made my way into the bathroom, but failed to open up the zipper from the wetsuit.

"JK, can you help me for a second?" I shouted and I heard his steps coming closer "Come in, can you open up the zipper please? My fingers are a little numb…" he pulled the zipper all the way down and turned to leave "My hero.” I chuckled.

"Everything for you, princess." he said obnoxiously sweet and we laughed.

"Get your ass ready, the race starts in a couple of minutes!" he chuckled and left the bathroom.

I watched as the camera panned onto Charles, congratulating Max, then Valtteri, then Lewis. He wasn’t happy, the moment he got out of the car, I could tell by the way he was walking that he wasn’t anywhere near satisfied.

"Hey Charlie, good race!" I said as his face appeared on my phone 4 hours later, he looks exhausted, unsatisfied, but also a little sad "What’s going on? Why that face? I know P4 is nothing we celebrate really. But come on! With that car?"

"I still want to win, no matter how shit the car is! Did you see Sainz? He was leading with a fucking McLaren!" Charles sighed and I wished for nothing more than to be able to hug him. "He’s my teammate next year and there are already so many articles out there! That he will be dominating me, he will give me a run for my money! What does that even mean?"

"It means they’re all idiots! Don’t listen to the media! Just do your races and don’t care what others have to say!" I tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah, you’re right! So tell me, how was the first week?" he changed the topic and I understood that he didn’t want to talk longer about the race. So I started to tell him about my recovery, what progress I made already in one week and soon after we were talking about random stuff none of us would know the next day anything about anymore. But just us talking felt better than anything else in the world.

Day 14:

"Hey Seb!" I exclaimed as he opened the back door for me.

"Lizzie! It’s so good to see you!" he said and pulled me carefully in his arms "How are you? How’s the recovery going?"

"It’s good to be back at the racetrack! And it’s going great. JK is literally my saviour! Oh here… Seb this is JK, my physio therapist." I introduced them and they shook hands "Does he know I’m coming?"

"Nope, all top secret. I hope there was no problem at the entrance?" Seb answered and I smiled "You’re a bit late. I hope he’s not in the car already! I told Sylvia to tell them to wait but with her you never know."

"We were sent to a different entrance because the one you told us was apparently only for staff." I said and he just scoffed.

"That’s why I told Syl-… never mind, come in now!" he ushered us through the garage as someone called him out.

"Seb! You need to get in the car! Now! You’re the last driver!"

"Shit! I’m sorry Lizzie! But I’ll tell him that you’re here before I get in my car!" Seb apologised and I just laughed.

"That’s ok! And now run!" I ushered him away as one of the Ferrari staff members brought us to our places and handed us both our headsets.

"It’s really cool to have you here, Lizzie!" the guy said and walked away smiling.

I watched how Seb jumped through the opening in the fence and ran straight to Charles' car, he leaned down and waved in my direction, Charles' head turned faster than the speed of light and I waved at him.

"Lizzie? Oh my god! What are you doing here?" Joris almost shouted and I turned in his direction.

"I wanted to surprise Charles, I was just a little late." I answered and Joris hugged me.

"If he wins today, it’s because of you for sure!" he laughed and I just grinned.

P3. Gino tapped on my shoulder and I looked up at him and he gently side hugged me.

"Ciao bella! Come on Lizzie, let’s go to the barriers! I’ll make sure that no one comes too close to you!" he said and I nodded, then I looked at JK.

"Go! But be careful!" he said and I chuckled.

"Yes, Dad!"

He jumped out of his car and as he was on his way to his team he stopped abruptly when he saw me, he pulled his helmet off and ran straight up to me before he scooped me up in his arms.

"Hey, ma belle!" he whispered and I giggled like a little kid.

"Put me down, Charles!" I laughed and he set me down "Congrats, Charlie bear!"

"Thanks. It seems like you’re my lucky charm, you should stick around!" he said and I blushed "What are you doing here?"

"You looked so sad last Sunday, I don’t know, something was off, I wanted to surprise you and asked Seb for help." I whispered and looked down, he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and embraced me again.

"I’m so happy that you’re here, ma belle!" he whispered and then he sighed happily.

"Charles, your team is waiting. And your interview. And your weighing! Come on!" I laughed and he let go of me, although reluctantly.

Day 15:

"It’s so peaceful!" Charles said and inhaled deeply as we sat on the porch, watching the sunrise, as we arrived just in time "I’m glad that I decided to join you for some days!"

"Me too, Charlie, me too." I whispered, suppressing a yawn and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Let’s get you to bed, ma belle!" he said but I shook my head, as the first sunbeams of the day were gently kissing my face.

"Just a couple more minutes, this is nice…" I pleaded and Charles sighed.

"Yeah, it really is!" he answered and gently leaned his head on mine.

I opened my eyes and realised I was laying in the bed of my bedroom. I slowly got up. Out of bed, walking out the room. On the sofa sitting were Charles, reading a book and JK sketching something in his mysterious book.

"Boys." I said and they flinched.

"You’re up." Charles patted the sofa next to him and I sat down.

"Barely." I yawned and closed my eyes again, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Then why did you get up?"he asked and JK chuckled.

"You’re leaving on Wednesday, I don’t want to sleep through most of it!" I whispered and Charles put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

"Ma belle, it’s not even 12… and I’ll leave on Wednesday in the evening. We have enough time." he answered and I nodded.

"I’d say let’s have a nice little walk? And later on, we’re having a little cheat day? You wanted to use the pizza oven outside, Liz?" JK clapped his hands together and got up "I prepared some dough and we’ve got a lot of that good marinara sauce you loved so much! On our way back we’ll pick up the groceries in the store and then it’s pizza night!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Charles nudged my shoulder and I sighed "Come on! Show me how beautiful it is here!"

"I’ll fire up the oven, you guys prepare the toppings!" JK commands and Charles and I nod.

"So, we have mushrooms, bell pepper, pepperoni, salami, ham and look at that cheese!" I said as Charles washed his hands and grabbed some bowls, cutting boards and knives. As I washed my hands Charles was already munching on the first slice of ham "Charles!"

"I have to check the quality of the product! And if it’s still good! I don’t want you to get a food poisoning!" he shrugged and I laughed.

"And you’re trying the ham then for what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I’m getting to the veggies, don’t worry! But what about JK and myself? Our safety doesn’t mean anything to you?" he asked, acting shocked.

"I’m sorry! You’re absolutely right!" I laughed.

"Thank you, ma belle! I guess it’s safe to say that ham is all good!" he said and put the ham slices in one of the bowls "Next salami!"

I laughed and began cutting the veggies, throwing them in different bowls.

"How are we doing, guys?" JK walked back in the kitchen, checking the bowls "The fire is burning quite nicely, dough is ready. I’d say, another, maybe 30 minutes and we can throw some pizzas in there!"

"Alright, here, Charles, put all the bowls on the tray, I’ll grab the sauce and something to drink, JK, can you grab plates and glasses? Oh and a spoon or whatever for the sauce!" I said and walked over to the fridge, grabbing some of JKs homemade lemonade and the sauce.

Outside Charles and I set the table, lighting some candles and JK took care of the fire. I sat down and watched as the last rays of sunshine coloured the sky in all shades of orange, red and pink. I shivered a little and pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them, watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the mountain tops.

"Here." Charles stood next to me with one of his hoodies and helped me into it "Better?"

"Better!" I smiled at him and as his scent engulfed me, I blushed a little.

"Alright guys! It’s pizza time!" JK exclaimed and Charles held out his hand and helped me up.

We each made a pizza with the toppings of our choices and JK professionally shoved them into the pizza oven with the shovel. After a minute the air was filled with the mouthwatering smell of our pizza’s. JK turned them to make sure they bake evenly.

"It smells delicious!" I said and Charles nodded in agreement.

"Now it only has to taste like it smells!" JK laughed and checked on the pizza "I’d say they’re done!"

"Pizza time!" I clapped as Charles held out the plates and JK put the pizzas on. He then sat the plate with my pizza in front of me and plopped down next to me on the bench.

"They look amazing!" Charles said and filled our glasses with lemonade, then he held his up and JK and I did the same and we toasted them together "Cheers!"

The first bite of the pizza was heavenly and I groaned.

"After weeks and weeks of Buddha bowls and wholewheat pasta and protein stuff, this pizza is the best thing I ever ate in my life!" I said and Charles and JK laughed "I’m serious!"

"It’s definitely far up, that’s for sure!" Charles laughed and JK nodded.

For the next few minutes we ate and talked about everything from racing to traveling. Indulging into our cheat meal, after a while the conversation died down and a content silence fell over us. I saw in the corner of my eyes how Charles and JK glanced over at my plate and I heard JK sighing when he realised I only ate 2 slices of my pizza, but he didn’t say anything.

"I’ll bring the stuff in and head to bed. I’ll have an early FaceTime session in the morning! Don’t stay up too late, kids!" JK got up and put the box with the dough and his plate on the tray, then gestured to my plate and me like he wanted me to eat more then he walked inside.

I sighed and played with another slice of my pizza.

"I thought it’s the best thing you ate in your life?" Charles asked and I looked at him confused "Doesn’t look like it."

"I’m just not that hungry…" I answered and shrugged my shoulders but Charles looked at me for a while.

"You’re okay, right?" he almost whispered it and I looked up "You would tell me if there’s something wrong?" I nodded.

"It’s just, all of these super foods and nutrient boasted stuff I’m eating right now because of JK is a lot! I know it’s healthy and it’s a good fullness but I feel bloated sometimes! I swear!" I laughed and tried to convince Charles and he eyed me questioningly for a moment but then nodded.

"But come on! Eat at least another slice of pizza! It’s seriously one of the best I’ve ever had!" he said and I smiled and bit into the slice.

"Damn! I wished we had some pineapple." I said and Charles' face scrunched up in disgust.

"Please, please, tell me you’re joking! Ma belle! Since when do you eat that!" he sounds disappointed.

"Oh relax, I was just kidding." I laughed.

"Good! I was thinking there’s something wrong with your brain!" he said but as soon as the words left his mouth he looked at me horrified "Oh god! Lizzie, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking! I’m so, so sorry! Fuck! I am stupid! Ma belle, please believe me…" he began but I only shook my head laughing.

"Stop! Charles, it’s alright! I know you didn’t mean it!" I said but he still looked beyond shocked. I turned to him and grabbed his hand "Hey! Come on! It’s really okay! I know you didn’t mean it in any bad way!"

"I wasn’t thinking! But still, I shouldn’t have said that! I’m so sorry!" he looked down at our hands and sighed.

"Charlie, can you please look at me?" I say quietly but he didn’t move so I laid my hand on his cheek and turned his face towards me "Hi… please, listen to me when I say that it is okay! Really!" he leaned in closer, our foreheads resting against each other and he inhaled deeply.

"Still, I’m sorry ma belle!" he whispered and I only nod slightly, sitting back up "I didn’t think… it’s just a saying and…"

"Shhh… stop, please!" I put my finger on his lips to silence him "Stop apologising. It’s fine. I’m fine. Okay?" he nods slowly and I look up at him, right hand still on his cheek, left index finger on his lips. This close I could see all the tiny freckles on Charles nose, his thick, long lashes framing his eyes, eyes so beautiful I could get lost in them, over and over again. He looked deep in my eyes, one hand at my hip, the other covering mine on his cheek. Charles closed his eyes and swallowed hard, as he opened them he leaned in even closer.

"Good night guys." JK’s voice made us both flinch and pull away from each other.

Charles cleared his throat and ruffled his hair and my breathing was erratic. What just happened?

"It’s getting late? I think I’ll take a long shower and then go to bed!" I said and faked a yawn and Charles nodded.

"Yeah, you go showering, I’ll take care of the dishes!" Charles got up and grabbed our plates and glasses and then walked away, but then he turned around "I’ll put your pizza in the fridge!" then he left.

I took a deep breath and walked inside, straight into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror, shaking my head. Nothing happened. It was just a vulnerable moment because he was scared he hurt me. All good. Right?

Day 16:

After a good swim in the lake, we walked back up and I almost slipped, but JK thankfully caught me and we laughed. He held me close to him, just to annoy me but I laughed it off, shaking my head. Back at the house after taking my shoes off he pulled the zipper of my wetsuit down and I walked straight into my room. Getting out of the wetsuit I noticed a little bruise on my spine and called for JK, I put a towel on my front and waited for him.

"Is that from the black roll?" I asked as soon as he walked in and looked at me confused "That bruise above my ass!" he looked down and gently stroked over it.

"Does it hurt?" he asked and applied a little pressure but I shook my head "Now?" he rubbed a little stronger and I nodded "Alright. Seems like you’re making something wrong here… we’ll have a look tomorrow when we’re using it again." he said and I nodded "And now take a shower, you’re shivering!" and he left.

Day 17:

"I don’t want you to go!" I whispered as Charles hugged me tight.

"The season is almost over and then we’ll see each other way more! I promise!" he said and I smiled "I’ll text you as soon as I’m in Maranello!" he kissed my forehead, then he shook JKs hand and got in his car.

"I see you in a bit, ma belle!" Charles smiled.

"Bye, Charlie bear and please drive carefully!" I said and he nodded, then he drove off and JK pushed me back in as it slightly started to rain.

"Alright, Liz. Some light stretching and maybe a bit of cardio?" he suggested and I nodded.

"Let’s go!"

Day 21:

"Liz? Liz? Are you still sleeping? Liz?" the door opened slowly and JK poked through the crack "Liz? Are you awake? Come on. 4:00! We gotta get going if we want to see the sunrise!"

I didn’t move. I didn’t flinch. I only groaned and blinked rapidly. Trying to at least make something in my body move, but to no avail. JK realised that something was off and came to my side, kneeled down and switched on the lamp on the nightstand.

"Liz? Can you hear me?" he asked and I nodded slightly. Trying to even out my breathing "Lizzie? What is happening? What was that?"

"Give me a minute…" my voice was hoarse and my throat was dry. He got up and came a moment later back with a glass of water and helped me to gulp it down "Thanks."

He helped me sit up slowly and waited for me to start talking whenever I was ready.

"After I woke up from the coma, it was maybe a week later? I fell asleep, but then I woke up… and it felt like… I couldn’t move. Nothing reacted. Not even wiggling my toes. But I was awake. I looked around, but I couldn’t move. I panicked, I thought that the last week where I was awake was just a dream and I was still in the coma, like I never woke up from it and I could feel how breathing became harder and harder. I could hear these voices laughing that they would pull the plug on me. There were these shadows kind of lurking over me and I was so freaking scared. And it all felt just like it did when I really was in a coma, so yeah… I thought I’m still not awake. So I tried to thrash around the bed, but to no avail. I don’t know how long it went on like this but I woke up the next morning, feeling like shit. Muscles sore and tense, tired and exhausted. And with a headache I never had before… after that it happened more often… just like in Monaco whenever… whenever… yeah well I googled a little and I’m pretty sure it’s sleep…" I explained to JK.

"Sleep paralysis." he said it at the same time as me and looked up in horror "Please tell me you’ve told the doctors about it?" and as I shook my head slightly he pushed himself of the ground "Lizzie! For fucks sake!"

"I told Dr. Friese that I felt tense and had strong headaches. I didn’t told him the rest. How could I?" I said and JK sat down next to me.

"You said, you heard someone saying they would pull the plug on you… but you’re not supposed to know about that?" he looked at me with big eyes and I gulped.

"I was kind of awake. Sometimes I could hear the people talk, open my eyes a little crack…" I whispered and tears were streaming down my face. JK pulled me into him and rubbed my back soothingly "I didn’t tell anyone, because mum and dad already felt guilty enough that they decided to let them pull the plug on me. If they knew that I knew about it? That I heard it? That I was kinda awake the whole time? JK they would never forgive themselves!" I sobbed out and he just held me close.

"It’s going to be okay, you hear me Liz?" he said and I nodded "We might need to slow down a little. Focus more on your mental health at this point… don’t look at me like that. You’re doing great, physically! We’re far more ahead in your recovery than I thought we would be! So we can slow down a little. And I think it’s important to find you the right help… because what you went through, what you’re still going through is something I can’t help you with. So we will look for help." I sighed but nodded.

"I just don’t want anyone to find out. About everything! The coma, the sleep paralysis, the…" I stopped and JK only nodded.

"I know, Liz, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who noticed it." he said and I looked at him confused "You have an eating disorder. Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you. What you’re eating is not enough. And what you’re eating is pretty often exiting your body the way it entered. I’ve heard it."

"It’s just the stress. And I’m just not hungry anymore. Dr. Friese said it could be the trauma, the meds and stuff." I looked down at my hands.

"Yeah, that’s normal for the first 3-4 weeks. And not 3 months later. I’m sorry for being so blunt. But sometimes you need nothing more than someone being straight up with you! We will tackle that as well!" JK said it gently and I only nodded "For now, let’s get back to bed and sleep as long as you need."

I laid back down and he tucked me in, then he squeezed my hand and left. I fell asleep almost immediately

Day 25:

Another day without any message or call from Charles. Since he left a week ago I received barely any messages from him, one that he arrived safely in Maranello and had a lot going on the next day, but he said he would call in the evening, he didn’t, I asked why he didn’t call, no reply, one day later a message that he arrived in Monaco and yesterday that he’s now in Turkey. But that was it. No small talk, no jokes, no nothing. And when I tried to call him, he didn’t pick up. Maybe because of what happened, no what almost happened, he felt guilty? He had Camille after all. Maybe I should accept that she was right from the beginning, Charles’ full focus should be on her, as she was his girlfriend. Not me. Maybe I had to…

"Hello Lizzie, my name is Dr. Lindner, I’ve talked a lot about you with JK… so why don’t we start with you telling me everything that happened from let’s say the start of this year." Dr. Christian Lindner, therapist specialised in stress and trauma sequelae, was the one therapist that stood out for JK and would be the one I should confide in. He seemed to be a really nice guy, still I felt a little awkward sitting here and telling him about what happened.

"Even before the accident?" I asked and he nodded.

"Everything that changed from this year to last year. Family, friends, job. I want to know everything." he smiled encouragingly and I took a deep breath.

"Alright, good for you that we’re paying you hourly…" I joked and he laughed.

"Why do you think I chose this profession in the first place?" he countered and I laughed. Maybe this could work. He was funny.

"The year started, well not so good…" I began to tell him everything, Charles and Camille, Camille and her friends hating me, the cancellation of the WSeries for this year, me gaining some weight and Camille's comments, me trying to eat less to nothing to lose the weight again, overdoing it a little, the accident, being kind of awake, the video, me wishing I had died that day, the recovery, the sleep paralysis, Charles not talking to me anymore. As I looked up at him he smiled and handed me a box of tissues, somewhere along the way I had started to cry, I didn’t even feel it.

"Thank you Lizzie, for being this open and honest with me!" he said after he gave me a minute to gather myself.

"I swear I didn’t expect to let this all out! I’m so sorry!" I said a little embarrassed but he shook his head.

"No! Don’t apologise! This was exactly what I needed from you! It’s normal that once the floodgates are open everything comes out. That’s a good thing! This way I’ll be able to help you better. Because although your life… well I’m not one to sugarcoat things, there’s a lot of shit going on. And a lot of shit that you need help with to cope with. And that’s why I’m here. We will tackle every obstacle on its own. Step by step. I’m not setting a timeframe, we will be done when we will be done. But for now I think the most urgent matters are your anxiety, the eating disorder and your obvious feelings for Charles Leclerc." he said and I nodded but then I realised what he said at last "I’m not just a funny guy, Lizzie, this is my job. So… you and Charles and Camille? That’s also one of the main topics we’re starting with!" I nodded slowly.

Was this something I wanted to talk about every other day? No. Was this something I wanted to think about all the time? No. Will talking about it help me? Probably.

"Yay… I can’t wait…" I said sarcastically and Dr. Lindner just laughed.

"No one said that it’s going to be easy or that you would like it!" he chuckled and I just rolled my eyes "You built walls around you and I’m here to wreck them down… but don’t worry, I will stand with you on the rubble and sing “I’ve been looking for freedom”." And that made me laugh again "So, why do you think he ghosted you? Is it even ghosting when he texts you?"

"3 messages! Just to tell me that he arrived at his planned destinations! It’s just because we almost… we almost…" I sighed and shook my head "We almost kissed I think…"

"You think?" Dr. Lindner asked and I just nodded "And that’s a bad thing because? Let’s forget about Camille for a second. It’s just you and Charles."

"Just because I have these feelings, doesn’t mean he has them. And what about our friendship? I can’t live without him in my life. That’s just not possible! But what if I lose him because he doesn’t feel the same?" I said and leaned back on the sofa, hands covering my face.

"So it’s more the fear of losing him, that makes you feel like this? Not the fact that he has a girlfriend, that is not you?" he pressed and I sighed.

"Yeah, I don’t know. Both I guess?" I mumbled and he nodded.

"Alright, that’s something we can work with." he scribbled something down in his notebook and sat up a little straighter "And your anxiety and trouble with eating comes from, let me guess, Camille?" I only nodded "Yeah, that fits the pattern. It’s your own insecurities and feelings that are getting in your way. And with whatever she’s saying to you, she’s playing right into it."

"But can we fix that?" I asked quietly and Dr. Lindner nodded.

"Yes, we can. And we will. For today, I’d say it’s enough. I work out a therapy plan and I talked to JK already. He will help you with your eating. We’ll get there. Don’t worry." He got up and I did as well "I’ll see you on Monday! Goodbye!"

"Thank you, for the talk. Have a nice weekend!" I said and he smiled, before he left.

"How do you feel?" JK asked as he walked in and I sat down again.

"Better. Maybe this will work out." I answered and he nodded.

"It will." he said and I smiled a little.

"Yeah, I think so too."

Day 28:

P4. No call. No FaceTime. No message. Only pictures of him and Camille in the paddock. I texted him after the race that it was a good one and it almost was a podium. No response. JK sensed that something was off but didn’t push me to talk to him. I ate, went to bed and fought the tears. To no avail. I cried. A lot. Why did he ignore me? Was it really because of what happened? I called him, for the hundredth time and finally he picked up.

"Charles? Hi!" I began.

"Hi. This is Charles. Leave a message and I’ll call back." Voicemail.

I wanted to hang up. But all the frustration and sadness erupted and I let it all out.

"Charles… I-I don’t know what I’ve done that you’re so mad at me! I don’t know why you suddenly don’t call or text back anymore! I just… I’m sorry for what happened. Well almost happened! But it’s unfair to just cut me- I just miss you. Okay? Please just text me back! Tell me how to fix this! Tell me what I can do to fix us! Please, Charles! Please don’t leave me!" I sobbed into the phone desperately and as the announcement came, if I wanted to keep the message or delete it and re-record it, I deleted it and hung up. Then I cried myself to sleep.

Day 35:

One week of daily therapy sessions.

One week of daily meditation sessions.

One week of daily cooking classes.

One week of daily desperately checking my phone, with nothing from Charles.

One week of daily stupid jokes from JK to cheer me up.

Sleep. Eat. Therapy. Meditation. Repeat.

Day 36:

I sat buried under a ton of blankets on the sofa. Tear stained face. Headache.

"Hey princess. I thought we would go for a little walk?" JK asked as he walked in and looked around the room "Liz?" he was about to leave as he heard the rustling "Are you under there?"

"Yup." I mumbled and sat up.

"Okay. Not concerning at all. Come on. We’re going for a walk." he said and pulled me up.

"I don’t want to. I can walk just fine" I grumbled but he just grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, pushing me towards the door.

"Well, it could be better. You still need every couple of minutes a break and your legs are sore in the evening. So come on. Let’s go." he stood at the door and put his shoes on before he nudged me a little to do the same.

"Fine! Can’t be that bad." It wasn’t fine. And it was that bad. Not even halfway through I twisted my ankle a little and we had to head back home, where JK helped me on the sofa, left to get the first aid kit and then took my shoe off and checked my ankle. He was gentle and the pain wasn’t too bad, still I couldn’t help myself but tears were streaming down my face. JK looked up as I sobbed and gently pulled me into his arms. I don’t know how long we sat like this. But after a while, when no more tears were left to cry I sat up and looked up at JK. He smiled down at me and wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. He was always so caring for me. Cheering me up. Supported me through this time. Always trying to make me feel better. I leaned in and kissed him, almost. JK pulled back and I blushed. I was shell shocked and scrambled off of the sofa, trying to walk away as fast as possible but my ankle gave in and I almost fell, JK catching me, like always.

"Lizzie, hey, look at me." he said and I shook my head.

"I’m fine, please let me go." I tried to pull away but JK didn’t budge.

"Lizzie, can we talk about this like adults?"

"No, JK. I’m sorry. I’m just- please let me go…" I whispered and the tears were back. JK gently pushed me down on the sofa and sat next to me.

"Look at me, please Lizzie." he said and I took a deep breath, before glancing up a little "It’s okay. Something like this happens quite often… it’s just normal. You’re vulnerable right now. You’ve been through a lot and usually Charles would be the one you feel attached to, because he is the one always by your side. But now it’s me. You see me as the one constant in your life right now. Like an anchor. So you’re transferring your feelings from the one you really love onto the one who gives you stability and safety at the moment. And that is me. But it’s not real feelings. Okay? It's okay. Nothing happened, it’s all good between us." he said it so gently that I swallowed hard and looked up.

"Charles and I almost kissed when he was here and now he’s ghosting me. What if… what if it’s the same with you?" I whispered and JK sighed.

"It’s not because of that, Liz." JK said and I was confused "I told him to lay a bit low for a while."

"What? Why would you do that?" I was furious and got up "You saw how hurt I was the past two and a half weeks because of that? And you didn’t say anything? Why?"

"Because first of all you had to start focusing on yourself! And not on Charles! Lizzie you were constantly checking in on him, whenever he was down, you were down and unmotivated. Your recovery was, is, more important right now and you should finally see that! And secondly, I needed you to finally face the truth that you are in love with Charles! You had to finally see that this denial is only making anything worse for you. You had to be honest to yourself and I had to trigger that. And look at that. You’re finally open up, finally be true to yourself and admit that you’re not fucking ok. So yes. Scream and shout and fight with me all you want. But you’re finally able to talk about your emotions instead of locking them inside, building walls that are higher than the fucking Sky Tower!" he was breathing heavily and I stood there contemplating what he just said. I closed my eyes and slowly sat down again. He hesitantly did the same and I looked at him for a second. Then I leaned back and laid my leg on his thighs.

"Is it sprained?" I asked and JK looked at me for a moment before he checked my ankle again "And what the fuck is the Sky Tower?" JK laughed.

"What?" he asked and took one of the bandages out.

"You said I build walls higher than the Sky Tower…" I answered and hissed a little when he secured the bandage and took a second one.

"It’s a telecommunications tower in Auckland." he said as he finished bandaging my ankle.

"I’m still mad at you. And at Charles. He shouldn’t have listened to you! How could he read all my messages and not even once answer me! And what did you tell him why he shouldn’t talk to me anymore? Not because of my feelings?" I sighed and JK only nodded.

"It’s okay, I broke your trust on this one, I’m sorry. I promise you it won’t happen again, only if you let me no other choice… just kidding! Maybe not. But anyways. I told him that you couldn’t focus on yourself if you’re always worried about him. And he couldn’t focus on his season, if he’s always worried about you. So yeah. I promised him to update him every now and then, which I did. But that was it." JK wriggled my ankle a little and as I didn’t react he carefully lifted it off and stood up "I’m sorry, Lizzie. I tried everything with you, but you wouldn’t open up to me. So I had to make you more vulnerable in order for your shell to crack." he walked out of the room and I closed my eyes. Although I was still mad at him, I understood why he did it. Why was he always right?

Day 66:

The last weeks were filled with more therapy, more meditation, more work outs to strengthen my core and built back some muscles, but mostly to get the needed nutrition back into my body. I could almost eat normally, without thinking about Camilles words with every bite I took. The anxiety induced by her almost gone. Only once was the sleep paralysis back. The last time my brain was lagging when I spoke a lot was at one of the earlier therapy sessions. When we were talking about how Camilles presence affected me. Over all I thought I was on a really good way. Charles still didn’t text me. After I texted him that I knew about what JK said and he ignored the message, again, I was worried. Didn’t he know what to say, after we’ve almost kissed? I thought he would answer. Maybe even apologise. A lot. Nothing and it hurt to know that it was this easy for him, to cut me out. Unfortunately it was something I couldn’t change, but talking about it with Dr. Lindner helped a lot.

"How do you feel today?" he asked and I shrugged a little.

"I’m nervous… in 4 days I’ll see my family again. After months. I don’t know, it’s weird. I think it was a good decision to stay alone here, to tell them not to visit me, after my feelings where such a mess after Charles left… although that wasn’t the reason, I know." I said and scratched my chin.

"How do you feel about seeing Charles again?" Dr. Lindner asked and I swallowed audibly "Ahh. That good, huh?" he chuckled.

"No, it’s fine. I mean. I know how I feel about him. And I know that these feelings are okay to have. I won’t deny them anymore to myself. But that’s it. Charles and I are friends. Best friends. Losing him would be the worst that could happen. So I have to accept these feelings. But I also have to accept that he has a girlfriend…" I answered.

"Very mature. But we talked about the effects Camille has on you? And we talked about how you have to be honest with Charles how you feel about her? How she treats you? And that she is one of the reasons for your anxiety and eating issues?" he asked and I nodded "That’s good. Really, Lizzie. You’ve come a long way in the last month. I think in the new year, we will start with 3 sessions a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday? As my office is in Stuttgart, that’s very convenient."

"I knew it! I knew you were Swabian, too! Although you tried really hard to not let it out!" I laughed and he just chuckled.

"I can hide it most definitely better than you!" I nodded at that and we both got up "Have a nice break! Relax. Talk to Charles. You’re family, tell them about the issues you’re still facing. From that on, it’s going to be easier!" he said and hugged me.

"Thank you, a lot! I feel so much better!" I said and as he released me he grinned.

"That’s why they pay me the big bucks!" and with that he left.

"Okay, Liz! I’d say the next few days we focus a bit more on cardio? And then I’ll get you back home on Sunday!" JK looked at me determined and I nodded.

Home. The first time after I left for Monaco I would be home again. The first time in months that I would see my family again. And the first time after our almost kiss, I would see Charles again, as him and Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo were going to celebrate Christmas with us. I wasn’t scared. I was nervous. How do you tell your best friend, that you’re in love with, that his girlfriend, he’s in love with, is one of the main reasons for your anxiety and eating issues over the past months?

Merry fucking Christmas.

————————————————————————-

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 9 is out, sorry for the delay - I had a little trouble writing that one, but it’s done (finally!). Next chapter will be a little bit different. You’ll see^^

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female driver #charles leclerc imagine #ferrari #scuderia ferrari #female driver #formula 1 #formula 1 x female driver #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x female reader #formula one #f1 x female driver #f1 2023 #f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 fandom #f1 imagine #f1 #cl16 #cl 16 #cl16 imagine #cl16 x reader #f1 fanfic #best friends to lovers

[seat-safety-switch]

There’s no way you can get tired of a vehicle as majestic as the Dodge Monaco. When you’re like me, and you’ve spent your entire working life scrambling around in a harem of bastard F-body heaps, the B-body Monaco is practically a luxury car. Look at this: it’s got a rear seat that you can put adult humans in! And the cigarette lighter isn’t just a little sticker reading “bring your own.” Yes indeed, I don’t think cars can get any better than the 1977 Monnie.

Sure, the engine is still as smog-obsessed and down on power as anything else from its era. Folks were eating out of garbage cans and roaming the streets looking for spilled gasoline to suck into their land barges, just so they could get to their jobs, where they were summarily laid off because the CEO spent this week’s cocaine money on 87 octane for his Rolls. It was a dark time. The sixties were a long time ago, and folks wanted fuel efficiency without doing terrifying Japanese things like “maybe make the engine less shit.” A smaller engine uses less fuel! A lower-compression engine will use worse fuel! 

In fact, I’m so impressed with this Monaco, that I tell the owner I am willing to make a very generous offer. One thousand dollars, by far the most I have spent on any car. His lips curl back in revulsion, and he attempts to push me out of the car. This attempt fails: by 1977, the eggheads at Mopar Central had figured out how to make doors that latch! Once his sense of calmness and level-headedness return, he tells me that he was thinking more like forty-five thousand dollars, which I think is about as much as it costs to put on a moon mission. I let myself out at 85 km/h after turning the steering wheel hard right just to make my own displeasure noted.

Once I have rolled to a complete stop in the ditch, I walk a couple feet to find one of my many hoarded Volares, cleverly scattered across the tri-state area so that I don’t have to walk very far once any of my other Volares break down. This particular one is a handsome 1976 model – an early one! – whose only flaw is a serious amount of whisky dings and a missing headlight, maybe caused by the rock which it is currently crashed into. Back to the working-class car for me, I tell myself. I reach into my pocket, and pull out my janitor-sized keyring. You don’t actually need that many keys to own this many Volares: Plymouth, never all that detail-oriented when they were sober, got especially sloppy when they were making the door locks, so at least half of these keys will open any single one of them. Just another example of how they really understood people like me. For us working stiffs, we can’t be spending all day rooting through our keys to figure out which one starts our cars.

#dodge monaco #plymouth volare

[princessamericachavez]

The house don't fall when the bones are good

(AO3)

Every so often, if Buck is feeling particularly melancholic, he thinks about his first visit to the Diaz household. After the lightning strike, he’s been rather melancholic, it seems. 

Nearly six years ago, he drove Eddie to Christopher’s school for the first time, not knowing he’d get to know the route by heart before Chris changed schools and that, then, he’d learn the new one too well enough to get there after a 24 hour shift without a single wrong turn. 

He’d seen them hug from afar, a part of his chest aching at the sight of that unconditional and unfiltered love. He’d known Eddie for only a couple months back then, and Buck’d thought he knew him pretty well, but that was the very first time he’d seen his heart at full display —his enormous capability to love. It’d been a sight to behold. He’d felt... jealous? It’s hard to tell now. He had never known that kind of love, but he’d been chasing it his whole life. It was like a revelation to see it in full display, to confirm it existed. 

Buck’d offered to drive the Diaz boys home. Eddie’s car —this was before the Tsunami, before the lawsuit, before the fightclub, before the truck— was still at the station, and they were both exhausted from a long and stressful day. It was the least he could do. 

He remembers flashes of the drive there: Christopher’s laughter, his constant chatter —Buck felt like he was carrying sunshine in his jeep, he’d never driven so carefully in his life—, Eddie’s soft eyes filled with fondness, the unmistakable tension in his shoulders as he looked back at Buck, like he was scared of showing his cards, of letting him see the one thing he treasured most, it was the same expression he’d had earlier that day when he’d talked about Chris for the first time. Buck remembers that by the time they got there Chris had crashed, fallen asleep in the back of the car, trusting completely that they’d get him home safely. 

There was an unmistakeable sense of loss by the time they got to the driveway. Buck knew goodbyes and loss better than most, but he still mourned every single one of them. This one was particularly painful. He’d watched Eddie get out and pull Chris into his arms, careful not to wake him. And then, Eddie Diaz, with his tired brown eyes and an armful of seven-year-old, had looked back at him and said: “you wanna come in for a beer?”

In retrospect, Buck is a little amused by how scared he’d been. It felt like intruding in something extremely personal. Eddie’s home, Eddie’s heart, Eddie’s life. They’d only known each other for a few months back then. They’d never let the other into their house before. They were exhausted and wired up at the same time. The sensible thing would’ve been to leave. Buck had never been the sensible kind. He’d always been a little selfish, too. And he’d wanted, more than anything, to partake into the warmth of Eddie’s little family for a little longer... for as long as he’d be allowed to. 

“Sure.”

The house had been warm and welcoming, even back then. There’d still been a few boxes lying around —that weeks later Buck’d helped Eddie unpack— and very few framed pictures. Lost and unsure where to go, Buck’d walked behind Eddie like a shadow, while the man gently and lovingly put his son to bed. Unlike the rest of the house, Christopher’s room had already been claimed as his own, full of drawings and toys and lovingly-picked furniture and decorations. He’d watched from the doorframe, feeling like an intruder, sure that Eddie was regretting his offer, that he’d never really intended for Buck to accept. 

But, even back then, Eddie had been shockingly welcoming. He’d smiled at Buck, once Chris was asleep, and patted his shoulder on the way to the kitchen. Back then, the place had been barely stocked. It would take months, years, for Buck and Eddie to fill it with cups and bowls and spatulas and way too many fancy utensils that Bobby’d showed them how to use. 

Eddie’d pulled two beers from the fridge and opened one before handing it to Buck. Then, silently, he’d walked back to the living room, followed by a silent and shellshocked Buck who still felt like an unwanted guest in this house, this home, that wasn’t yet his own. Buck, who watched Eddie sit down on his couch with a deep but satisfied groan, and who’d stared still standing until Eddie’d arched his eyebrows, daringly, teasing him a little, until Buck’d dared to sit down too, on the other corner of the couch. 

“That was a long day,” Eddie’d sighed, with ease that later Buck’d come to recognize as a front. 

In the following years, they’d sit on this couch a million times, share countless beers, laugh until they were both crying, grief loses, celebrate wins, share comfortable silences, open up about truths nobody else would ever share. 

But that was the first night, and Buck was nervous. He’d taken a sip of his beer and laughed, nervous, thankful to even be here. 

“Congratulations,” he’d said. “You just had your first official L.A. earthquake.”

“Are they always this bad?”

“God, no. This was just...  We are not that prone to natural disasters,” he’d assured him, unknowing that a year later he’d be grateful to survive a tsunami. “I guess you just got lucky.”

Eddie’d smiled, though, and shaken his head. It felt like a victory. 

Buck doesn’t remember what they talked about that first night. Inconsequential stuff, probably. About the house and how Eddie’d found it and why it was perfect because it had no second floor, no stairs for Christopher to struggle with, and how his abuela and his tia Pepa lived close by. Buck’d told him about Abby’s house and how it was at least nicer than having roommates, but that he couldn’t shake off the feeling of always being a guest there. Eddie’d nodded, understanding. (Weeks later, unprompted, he’d casually dropped in a conversation that Buck, being his best friend, was never just a guest in his house, and it was a miracle that Buck hadn’t broken down in tears at the moment... mainly because he hadn’t wanted to scare Chris.)

Eventually the second and third beer’d run out and they’d ran out of excuses to stay awake. 

“I- I guess... I should go home,” Buck’d said then, suddenly bashful, sure he’d overstayed his welcome. 

Eddie’d pinned him with a look that Buck still remembers today, years and tragedies later. 

“Buck, I’m not letting you drive all the way back to Abby’s house,” he’d said. And then, matter-of-factly: “you’re staying over.”

He’d left no room for discussion and, honestly, Buck’d had very little complains about it. They’d made a make-shift bed together on the couch. A couple months later, they were both experts at making it, and Eddie’d bought a specific set of bedsheets and blankets and pillows for it —for Buck. 

“Right, goodnight.”

“Night,” Eddie’d nodded. Then, he’d paused, and he’d looked back at Buck... and Buck’d been surprised by that look more than anything else, because for a second, for an instant, he’d recognized in Eddie’s eyes the same thankfulness that was coursing through his veins... the same silent gladness at the simple fact of having met a friend like this, at having met him. “Thanks for taking me to Chris’s school today, Buck. I... I really appreciate it,” he’d said, like it wasn’t the very least Buck could do, like he wouldn’t do it again in a heartbeat, like it wasn’t the best thing he’d gotten to do all day. 

“Don’t mention it,” Buck’d replied, a little numbly, but then he’d recovered enough to say what he meant (sort of): “I’ve got your back, Eddie.”

And Eddie had gifted him that secret sunshine-filled smile that Buck still chases after to this day. 

“I know. I’ve got yours,” Eddie had said, and he had meant it. Buck had suspected it back then, but now, six years later, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Eddie meant it more than Buck could’ve dared to imagine. “Though, gotta say, don’t know how your back will be tomorrow. Haven’t tried sleeping on that couch yet.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Buck’d laughed. 

It was the best sleep he’d had in his life. 

Every now and then, Buck remembers that night, while he cooks for his boys, while he walks past the door with his own key without knocking, while he plays games with Christopher or shares a beer with Eddie after a long day. Buck thinks back to the very first time he walked past that door, not knowing yet he was home. 

#whoop this is long and i don't know what it is but just enjoy the fluff #buddie #911 fox #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #911 fic #buddie fic

[walker-extended-universe]

AITA for taking so long to realize I was TA?

I know the title is weird but I had a breakthrough in my therapy appointment today and I’m dealing with a lot of guilt right now.

I recently went through a very traumatic experience. I’m not going to go into too much detail because I don’t want anyone to connect the real story to me but basically my brother and I were taken into captivity by a gang.

While we were being held captive, we would be separated for certain periods of time and tortured. During one of these periods, I was told that my brother had been killed by the leader of the gang and I had to be the one to bury him. They showed me a body covered in a sheet that was next to a shallow hole. It was the most soul-crushing things I’ve ever experienced.

I dug the grave, terrified of what might happen if I didn’t and wanting to give my brother a decent grave at the very least. I was scared and grieving all at once. When I was done digging, I asked if I could see my brother one last time before they put him down. They didn’t stop me from pulling back the sheet.

The body underneath wasn’t my brother’s.

My brother and I are alive and we’re out of that place now, but we’re still working through the trauma we went through. We’re both struggling but I think he’s been handling it a little better. Around 20 years of service in the military and law enforcement means he (rather unfortunately) has more experience dealing with trauma than I do. This was all new for me and I’ve been struggling. The physical trauma of the torture on top of the psychological and emotional trauma of thinking I lost my brother and the other mind games they played on me.... It was overwhelming.

I wanted to talk to my brother about what happened but he insisted that the trauma would just Get Better after a while and the rest of the family went along with it so I never got a chance to talk about it. Even our mom told me to quit pressing the subject so that I wouldn’t “break the equilibrium” or whatever.

I was suffering and it felt like no one cared. They just wanted me to shut up and get back to normal life like nothing happened. I hated it.

Anyway, a few weeks ago my dad pulled me aside and told me about how he coped after the Vietnam war by speaking with an equine therapist. I wasn’t too sure at first but it’s actually been helping a lot. It was during one of these sessions that I had a bit of a breakthrough. Everything I was experiencing, this crazy need to keep the status quo that was being pushed on me by my family, especially my brother.... I used to do that to my brother.

A couple of years ago, my brother’s wife was murdered. He didn’t handle it well. He threw himself into his work and investigating her case (something he wasn’t allowed to do), he was barely sleeping, and he was ignoring his responsibility to his kids. After an incident where he fell asleep at the wheel and almost had a bad crash with his kids in the car, the family decided enough was enough and we held an intervention to let him know that he needed to shape up. At the time, this seemed like a good idea. He wasn’t doing well and he needed to change.

Looking back.... I fucked up. My brother was grieving and I didn’t do anything to help. Sure, I helped out with the kids and the house a bit but that wasn’t what he needed. He needed someone who would listen to him, not someone who would judge him and tell him to stow his feelings away for the sake of the family. I wasn’t the only one involved in this but I was more than complicit in letting it happen.

I hate that it took me this long to realize what happened. I hate that I had to suffer a similar experience just to understand that. I hate that I don’t even know how to begin apologizing for this.

AITA for this? Is there anything I can do to make this right?

[shoutout to @small-scale-majestic for giving me the inspo for this post!]

#walker #liam walker #walker spoilers #aita #death mention #torture mention

[gamerswift13]

Need for Speed Unbound!

Or as I like to call it, High-speed Head-on Collision Simulator 2022

Kia ora, friends!

This is gonna just be a short one this week due to ongoing mental and physical health issues, but on that front I have some news: I think I’m slowly but surely getting better!

But anyway, I wanted to talk a little bit about Need for Speed Unbound this week because I have been playing it a lot over the last few weeks (when I have had the energy) and I can’t think of a game in recent history that has made me rage quit and want to throw my controller so many times but still is able to pull me back in. I love a good arcade racer; my favourite series in this genre is obviously Forza Horizon (and to a lesser extent Forza Motorsport, which I am still excited for in October), but I have been known to dip into Need for Speed now and then. This latest entry, launched last year, recently came to Xbox Game Pass, so I decided to check it out.

My first dive into this game was via Xbox Cloud Gaming and y’all, that service is great for some games, but for a game as fast-paced as Need for Speed Unbound, I absolutely do not recommend it 😅. Playing it this way, I was constantly crashing into things that I didn’t see because the frames fell out, so it didn’t take long for me to decide to make some space on the tiny Xbox Series S internal storage and download the game to play locally. Once I got that out of the way, I started to have a blast… for a while. My TV, which was 1080p, died a couple of months ago, so since then I’ve been using a TV I borrowed from my sister, which is 720p, and let me tell you, again for a game like this, it’s… a less than optimal way to play. Once I started getting into faster and faster cars, I started crashing into things again. A lot. This isn’t a failure of the game itself, I don’t think, I’m just playing it in a really stupid way 😭.

Apart from all the technical stuff I just mentioned, Need for Speed Unbound is really fun. I think my favourite part, though, has been customising my character, as well as the paint/wraps on some of my cars.

I wish I had more pictures of the different outfits I’ve had my character wear, (I haven’t had the time to go back to the game before writing) but I still really like this look. And oh boy do I love that car. It’s one of the cars the game gives you in the beginning, a Nissan GT-R from I want to say 1997 (or thereabouts), and it’s fast, great at drifting, extremely hot, but the best thing of all: I made it look queer and non-conforming as fuck.

The game limits what you can write on your cars, I assume because it’s possible other players could see it, so it wouldn’t let me write ‘queer’ or ‘gay’ or ‘bitch’ or ‘fascist’ - those first two are kind of bonkers considering the amount of queer representation this game contains, but I digress. So I substituted ‘fascist’ with the succinct ‘fash’, and instead of ‘basic bitch’ I wrote ‘basic beach’, which the latter is honestly kind of better anyway.

The racing is fun, though frustrating sometimes thanks to the game only giving you a maximum of retries per in-game 24-hour period, but what really stands out to me is that there is so much queer representation here - like way more than I’d have ever expected from a Need for Speed. There’s one NPC racer you meet and race against named Justicia who is from Mexico and is openly transfem. There are signs around the city that say things like ‘love is love’, or simply have the pride flag on them. And as you may have noticed on my car in the pictures above, you can just put the pride flag and trans flag all over your car if you want - and not just that, they have every single type of pride flag I could think of, which blew me away. Seriously, more games need to be this open about supporting queer communities. There’s also a bunch of representation for people all over the world - the music in Need for Speed Unbound includes tracks in Arabic, Japanese, Spanish, French, and a few I couldn’t nail down just by listening, and it’s honestly super refreshing.

Anyway, that’s all from me this week. Sorry if it feels a bit like it was put together at the last minute because, well, it was, but I wanted to make sure I had something for you.

Thanks so much for reading, y’all, I appreciate it. As always, if you have any comments or questions, hit me up on the social links at the bottom of the page, or flick me an email! If you want to read more stuff from me, you can check out my Letterboxd reviews! This week I reviewed Robot Jox (1989), which I believe may have inspired some of the aesthetics of things like Neon Genesis Evangelion and Pacific Rim.

Stay safe and warm out there (or safe and cool, if you’re in the northern hemisphere!) y’all, and I’ll talk to you all again really soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

Rebecca

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#video games #videogames #video ganes #queer writers #trans writers #nonbinary writers #non binary writers #writers of aotearoa #aotearoawriters #new zealand #writers of new zealand #writers of tumblr #xbox #cloud gaming #need for speed #unbound #need for speed unbound #substack #Game Pass #games industry #Series S #LGBQIA+ #achievements #NFS Unbound #queer representation #queer rep in media #queer characters #lgbtqi+ #lgbtq #lgbt representation

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Campfire sweets and starry nights at Ruby Lake Mountain

Spending the week at Ruby Lake Mountain is a fitting way to end the year. Along with getting some much needed alone time for a couple days, I also got to hang out with good company to celebrate the future.

Reserving a cabin at Ruby Lake was sort of a last minute thing. While the holidays were good, Daisy Jane and I felt like we could use a break to decompress and take some time to figure things out. As another year comes to a close, I’ve been thinking about how life’s been so far.

Overall, this year’s not much different - ups and downs, memories that I’ll treasure, low moments I’ve learned from - that’s basically my life these past few years since running the camp. As for the future, I don’t have any big ambitions other than to just keep living life to the fullest.

I came up here first because Daisy Jane had some things to take care of at home. Then a couple days later we met up with Raiden, Qingmei, Chihu, and Sunni, who are staying in a nearby cabin. They were up on the mountain for official business at first and now that’s over they’re on a well deserved break.

Raiden and Qingmei filled us in about Chihu and Sunni, two kids who they’re taking care of at the moment. Qingmei and her sisters occasionally work for some devil hunter group, so they have some connections there. From what I’ve heard, it’s the kind of faction where you don’t expect to live long. In other words, you only work for them if you’re ready to give up your life. Raiden says she won’t get in their way but she finds their philosophy and general outlook on life questionable.

Of course, most of the people Raiden and Qingmei know from there are dead - well, except for a couple who got lucky and left as soon as the opportunity arises. Nara was one of fortunate few who managed to survive for so long despite not being a particularly skilled devil hunter. According to Raiden, she was forced to become a devil hunter in order to provide for her parents and elder siblings. Despite being a bad fit for the group, Nara managed to survive as well as escape from her shitty family. After she left, Raiden and the others kept in sporadic contact with her.

The devil hunters also occasionally take in “strays”, meaning people who are part demons like Chihu and Sunni. Even though Chihu’s a teenager he was working as a devil hunter for some time before the higher ups realized that maybe using a kid as a potential weapon isn’t such a good idea. Poor kid’s been through shit so they decided to pair him with Nara, a young kid who’s also considered special and have them both try to live as normal lives as possible while being closely monitored.

Several months ago Nara took Chihu and Sunni under her wing after they were injured in a car accident. Some possibly drunk driver crashed into a bus stop and disappeared. Chihu and Nara were badly injured while the third victim, a classmate of Chihu’s, died after being in a coma for over a month. Nara had heard about the accident on the news and insisted on taking the kids in.

Things were going well until a couple weeks ago when Nara suddenly had a stroke. Chihu said it happened so suddenly - he didn’t even know what a stroke was until a doctor explained it to him. One minute they were talking, then he noticed that she didn’t look well and next thing he knew, she was slumped over and he knew that something was wrong. Somehow, he managed to get her to the ER by foot at record speed, which was what probably saved her life.

Since Nara’s in her early twenties and appears to have no genetic issues, the likely cause of her stroke seems to be due to injuries she sustained during her devil hunter days. So even though she lived to tell the tale, it seems like no one leaves the group unscathed. Qingmei says that it seems like most of Nara’s cognitive skills are intact but in terms of movement, there’s a lot of things she has to relearn.

As if that wasn’t difficult enough for Nara, her parents are trying to interfere. Chihu says that the only reason why they want control of Nara is so they can kill her. They even tried to pay him, claiming that they were doing him a favor because “a bright kid like him shouldn’t be saddled down by a worthless invalid bitch”. Some caring people they are.

Raiden says the devil hunters are doing all they can to help Nara at Chihu’s insistence. Even though he’s a minor, it’s possible for him to become her caretaker depending on the circumstances. Although he thinks he can handle taking care of Nara and Sunni, the others don’t want him saddled with that responsibility, at least not alone. Qingmei says her sisters are trying to help Chihu and the devil hunters work things out. I hope they’ll be okay.

Chihu’s an interesting guy, to say the least. Like the others said, he can be a little off-putting at first, but once you get past that, he’s got a good head on his shoulders - most of the time. He’s one of those kids who’s forced to grow up quickly and fend for himself so it’s understandable why he’s the way he is. Qingmei feels for the kid but she admits that she finds it a bit hard to get along with him. At least Raiden’s the kind of person who won’t hesitate to put someone in line if they act out and Chihu usually gets the message.

Sunni, I’ll admit, is kinda strange, but she didn’t have a normal upbringing either. Compared to her brother, she’s a lot more subdued, almost blank. Sometimes she acts like any other kid her age, other times she seems much more older. Raiden says all she knows is that Sunni is highly unusual and that’s why the devil hunters felt it was safer for her to stay with someone who might be able to give her a sense of normalcy, whatever that means. She usually either off doing her own thing or hanging around Chihu.

For the past couple weeks the kids have been staying with Qingmei and the demon slayers. Sunni doesn’t seem to be affected too much by what’s going on, though she does care about Nara in her own way. Chihu, on the other hand, needs all the distractions he can get, so the others have been helping him keep busy.

They say he has a tendency to get obsessed with certain things, basically something that ties to his abandonment issues. While getting to know him, he told me that he’s currently obsessed with finding two people. First is finding out more information about the girl who died in the accident. According to him, he and Sunni survived because she pushed them out of the way. All he knows about her is that she was orphaned after her mother was killed by a devil and she was ostracized by the class after another unrelated incident with devils. Chihu said he spoke to her a few times but other than that, he doesn’t know her at all.

His general impression of her is that she’s one of those people who puts up a wall because she’s lonely - like him, I suppose. He admitted that she was also put off with him at first but for some reason she decided to stick around. Sunni liked her and that’s saying something as she doesn’t warm up to people easily. Even though Nara never got to know her, Chihu thinks she and Miya would’ve been good friends. In the few times he talked to her, he said she felt real, like she really understood him even though they weren’t close.

After the accident, only Chihu, Nara, and Sunni visited Miya in the hospital. He said it didn’t seem right, a pretty girl like her lying alone attached to machines in a bleak room. He’d see her whenever he could so when she woke up, she wouldn’t have to be alone. What made it worse was that no one seemed to give a fuck about her. Only Nara understood because like him and Miya, she was also all alone in this world. He was so sure that she was gonna wake up one day and when she did, he would ask her out. While I’m not so sure about the dating part, I think it would’ve been nice if they became friends.

Raiden and Qingmei tried to find more information on Miya too but came up with nothing. Funny how an unknown person can keep you up at night. After hearing Chihu’s story, I can see why he’s obsessed with knowing more about her. There’s just something tragic about Miya’s short life, the fact that if it isn’t for someone like Chihu, no one would’ve care about her. To live and die in complete obscurity, it really is sad. With no one to remember you, that person might as well have never existed. And to make matters worse, it seems like we’ll never really know what kind of a person Miya was.

His second obsession is hunting down the bastard who ran them over. There’s not much on that either except that the driver was probably under the influence. It happened around 3am so there wasn’t a lot of witnesses. As a result the case remains unsolved much to his dismay. I can’t blame him for that either - after all, that person has proven themselves to be reckless and irresponsible, not to mention they killed an innocent person. Since he has even less on that, there’s really nothing he can do about it.

For now, the demon slayers are doing their best to help the kids out, especially during the holiday season - not that they were the kind to celebrate but it can get pretty lonely when you have no one to spend them with. Qingmei’s sisters have been putting Chihu to work with some missions since he has experience and they say that’s been doing him some good. Then he got teamed up with Qingmei and Raiden to go to Ruby Lake and since it’s a short one, they figured why not take some time off and bring Sunni along.

When the weather’s not too cold we’d spend some time hiking and fishing. The main thing we’ve been doing is making sweets like cookies, mochi, jam, and custard. Some things we did together, others alone, and though some of these recipes take a lot of prep, it felt nice doing all these little things. Especially when I’m by myself I tend to slow down so I can enjoy the process without feeling like I have to rush to get things done in a certain amount of time. It’s so easy to get caught up on completing tasks that it takes effort to remind yourself that it’s okay to slow down.

Life isn’t a competition so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be allowed to move at your own pace. As long as you’re moving towards a direction that feels right for you, that’s what really matters.

We ended up trying a bunch of different recipes that we never thought of attempting before. Chihu and Sunni seemed to take a genuine interest in making desserts so that was nice. Maybe that’s why we decided to take the plunge and step out of our comfort zones.

Earl grey milk jam was one of those things. I didn’t even know that milk jam was a thing until Chihu mentioned wanting to try making it. Out of all of us I didn’t think he would have the patience to make it and it ended up pretty good. He also made fruit preserves with help from Qingmei and those were successes too.

Raiden taught us how to make red bean paste so we used that for other desserts like mochi, taiyaki, and red bean soup. We also made creme caramel custard and even though they could’ve looked better, they tasted good. It takes a bit more work but I wouldn’t mind making all of these once in a while.

Of course to go with all those sweets we made tea and cider. We considered bringing a bottle or two of wine but decided on beer instead to celebrate the new year. The kids obviously won’t be drinking but they’ll be staying up too. Since Raiden and Qingmei’s cabin is bigger, Daisy Jane and I will be joining them there.

There’s nothing like sharing sweets and hot tea under a starry mountain.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #headcanon ramble #Diary of a Junebug

[xemptywithyoux-old]

wait a minute, is eduardo ‘eddie’ hasan-vidal still in town? i thought i saw a flash of (heavy boots, the smell of fabric softener, an abandoned cup of coffee in the morning)! last i heard they were working as a(n) nurse and paramedic. when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 02/14. i forget that they’re detached and celebrate that they’re reliable. i hear late night talking by harry styles every time i think of them.  ⌠taylor zakhar perez, 27, cis male, he/him ⌡ 

A B O U T tw: abortion mention

he’s a local. been here since he was born, and only left for college. his family is very steady on the middle class, didn’t have much of a hardship growing up and even inherited the old family car when he turned 17. 

he has a sister that’s one year older than him, but he hasn’t seen her in almost ten years. she turned eighteen and left town to never go back, which left him as the sole child of a family that put too many expectations on their children. 

eddie had always been a good kid, barely ever got in big trouble. he went through the rites of passage, being caught drunk (multiple times), crashed the car (barely made a scratch), aside from getting caught inside of it with a girl (neither of them had their tops on). his sister went through all of these, and more. way more. 

after eddie’s sister left home, all his parents’ hopes and dreams were placed onto him. his father wanted him to be a doctor, so he said goodbye to his dreams of star athlete or music star (his two hobbies), and ended up going to the best college they could afford. 

it was alright by eddie. he made friends easily, and of course didn’t take long before he found a girlfriend- the cutest girl he had ever seen, but perhaps the craziest one - and he fell head over heels for her. 

by sophomore year, they had been together for about eight months, when she came to his dorm on a thursday night with her eyes red and swollen. she was pregnant. it took eddie by surprise, because he was sure he had been careful every single time, but told her he would be there. he was scared to death, but he had been well educated, and even after a couple days the idea of being a father felt... compelling. even exciting. 

*tw* this girl disappeared for three days only to call him early morning to pick her up at planned parenthood. eddie drove as fast as he could- thought something bad had happened, but when he finally asked she simply said she got rid of it. “what?” “you heard me.” he let it happen. it was her choice after all, but a part of him was mourning something, but he wasn’t going to let it come between them. 

a couple months later, he found out about her cheating on him during more than half of their relationship, the pregnancy probably being this guy’s doing. it had to be, but he didn’t reproach it. he simply broke up with her. she made a scandal, yelled, cried and by the end of the week she had started a rumor about him forcing her to have an abortion. *tw over*

eddie’s life in college completely changed. he was stared at in the hallways, even teachers had somehow taken a stand against him no matter how hard he tried to deny it and tell the truth. he didn’t bother to finish the semester- packed all his stuff and drove back home. 

he became the family’s disappointment. specially because he didn’t care to explain what had actually happened. they were far too conservative and religious to even touch those subjects. he simply said it was not for him, and he would find a job in town. 

eddie has worked in every single business in town in the past eight years. but somewhere about three years ago, he decided to use what he had learned in med school for something, and took several courses to become a paramedic. he decided it was not too bad of a future to help people after all, and he found driving the ambulance pretty damn fun. 

he lives by himself with his dog- an old schnauzer that whines and barks way more than eddie speaks to him. but it’s okay. he fills up the empty space most of the time. 

C O N N E C T I O N S...

high school and life long friends. friends of his sister. hook ups, flings and exes from the past  hook ups, flings and people he flirts with nowadays. friends from the hospital people he sees at the hospital way too much his partner in the ambulance- basically best pal nowadays. little sibling-esque kind of connection and many more...... 

@liminalintro

#liminalintro #eddie.intro #eddie #intro #sorry i didn't mean to make it long

[lamb-entertainment]

WBMM Chapter 10

It’s been about 4 weeks since Vinnie offered to make me a suit and I've been training every weekend with Tyler. I’m not the best but it’s been a major help, he says that I've been learning at an incredible pace. Nothing eventful has happened crime wise, well except for a small bank heist, but the police beat me too it so nothing I could do. Although my guess is that they’re going to hit another, bigger bank I mean they didn’t stop at 1 pet store robbing so why stop at 1 bank robbing? I ended up changing my patrolling route to go over all of the big banks in my city. That’s beside the point. Tonight, is the night Vinnie gives me my suit. He invited me to dinner at his house and I’m so excited I can barely contain it. I look in the mirror at my outfit which was my button up and sports jacket not much but enough, I hope. Vinnie said that he’d pick me up in about 5 minutes. It is Sunday at about 6 25 Pepper would be cleaning till 7. She took some extra shifts to make up for the income we lost due to me taking a week off. I felt horrible, but she didn’t care. I would’ve taken more shifts, but I can’t really with the job I have. She also had to stop wearing her coat given the hole in it and the fact she would get stopped by cops every time she did wear it. The picture of me on the news wearing it kind of ruined it for her. I did talk to Vinnie and apparently Rebecca left one of her coats at his house and I was going to bring it home with me, at least she was good for something.  I hear the doorbell ring. 6 27, three minutes early. I rush to the door, running my hand through my hair before opening it to clean myself up a bit. I mean I know I see Vinnie everyday but we rarely hangout outside of work. It’s only because he’s so introverted but I'm not which makes times like this (even if we are just going to his house) special. I open the door to see Vinnie in... his motorcycle gear. He speaks first. 

“Who’s mister big bucks now?”  I look at him confused before realizing he was referring to my clothes. Making me blush from slight embarrassment but smile at the same time. 

“I guess I missed the memo to dress biker.” 

“Don’t worry I brought you a helmet.” 

“What?” 

Vinnie heads down the apartment stairs and I follow to see that he came here in a motorcycle. 

“So where are you hiding the sports car?” 

“No sports car just this baby.” 

Vinnie pats his bike and hops on it. 

“What did you expect? I never learned how to drive a car.” 

“You’re kidding.” 

“Nope.” 

“Your dad owns the biggest sports car company and you never learned to drive a car? Your million-dollar trust fund is made of car money.” 

Vinnie replies with a smirk. 

“Billion, and in my defense this is a prototype bike my dad engineered years ago.” 

“Oh great, it didn’t even get put into production.” 

“I'll sweeten the deal, here.” 

Vinnie throws me a sleek black helmet and puts his on. I put the helmet on and walk up to him. 

“So, what do I do?” 

“Get on behind me and wrap your arms around my stomach.” 

I do what he says and wrap my arms around him pressing against his stomach and jeez he’s ripped. I guess he spends all the time you would be socializing, at the gym. Vinnie revs the engine before screeching onto the road. I tighten my grip, shut my eyes, and bury my head into his back. I didn’t want him to know but I was petrified. I think he could tell though because he immediately slowed down. I felt a little pathetic fearing riding a motorcycle. I deal with muggings, vampire attacks, and so much more daily, but a couple wheels scare me. In my defense my dad used to have a dirt bike and I watched him crash it when I was five. He was riding in our backyard which at the time was mostly forest and he gracefully went up a hill and fell back down. And I mean FELL. I saw his arm bend in the wrong direction, but even after that my dad still comforted me. He kept telling me that he was a ok and there was nothing to worry about I found a couple years later the moment he got into hospital and out of my earshot he screamed like a banshee and cursed out anything the light has touched. Of course once he got pain on meds he thought it was hilarious and he told anyone who would listen this story. He was always great at seeing the best side of the situation. If he was still here, I know he would find something good about me being a vampire. He would say “I can’t believe you turned into a vampire and are helping people. That is INCREDIBLE! I can’t believe MY son would do something this great! I mean you doing something this amazing is average for you, but the fact that MY son did it is just unbelievable. I’m so proud to be your dad.” He would say it all with a big goofy smile with eyes pure as gold and an overdramatic tone finishing it off with an “I love you.” and with me knowing that he meant every word of it. I know it’s a little over the top, but he was always like this. One time he praised me for 5 minutes over a piece of macaroni art, or the time we went out for ice-cream after I got 11th in a spelling bee… out of 12. But after seeing him almost die from dirt biking I haven’t even touched a motor bike no matter the type. The bike speeds up and onto the highway. I can’t help but tighten my arms around him. I can feel his warmth even through his leather jacket. There's something comforting about his presence, I can’t tell what it is, but just the way he fits into my arms calms me down. I sit up a little bit and turn my head to the side and open my eyes. Whoa. The view is incredible. The highway we were on overlooks a cliff with a forest and wow. Maybe it’s because of the setting sun but it’s beautiful. Feeling the wind whip around me I lose myself in a feeling of calmness and comfort, my fear fleeting as fast as the sunlight. It isn’t long until we make it to Vinnie’s house. It’s huge. It’s also pretty remote. He pulls into the garage and parks before getting off the bike and opening the door for me. I already miss his touch. I get off the bike and go inside.  A shallow breath escapes me when I walk in.  

“Holy shit.” 

His house is decked out in the nicest furniture I’ve ever seen. It has a dark overall tone with lots of dark brown and black. He has a style and sticks to it. The furniture is also very traditional, almost Victorian.  

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“Oh, uh yeah ha-ha sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

Vinnie looks at me with an amused look. He then pulls out his phone. 

“What would you like to eat I haven’t ordered anything yet.” 

“Oh, I uhh don’t know.” 

“What about sausage.” 

“What?” 

I look Vinnie up and down, my eyes landing on his pants. 

“Yeah, there's a German restaurant I order from occasionally and they are amazing especially the sausage.” 

Oh... well I’m a fucking idiot. 

“Yeah, sure that sounds good.” 

Vinnie smiles and we discuss what to order before he puts it into his phone, probably on an app. He tells me to make myself at home and I sit on the couch. He shortly joins me only a couple feet away from me and reaches to his ottoman grabbing the tv remote. 

“What do you want to watch?” 

 I revel in my embarrassment before responding.                           

“This might sound silly, but I’m a big fan of romance.” 

“Oh really? I’m a big fan of extreme horror, especially gore. God, do I love when characters get killed off in the most disturbing and graphic ways.” 

I raise my eyebrows and stare at him while he smiles like a super villain. He sees me staring and quickly switches attitudes. 

“Ha... ha...... I must sound like a sociopath.” 

We stare at each other in a slightly too uncomfortable way before he quickly goes to the romance section of whatever streaming app he was using and clicks the first option, before he rushes out more words. 

“You know romance is great!” 

I didn’t have time to say anything before it was too late. Vinnie looked really embarrassed as he grabs a pillow and buries his head into it. I didn’t think what he said was... too weird it just took me really off guard I mean I never took him for someone to like that that stuff. The loud intro music intrudes on my thoughts, and I give the movie my full attention just to reveal that it opens on a sex scene. Oh... jeez could this be any worse? Worst part is the two characters look exactly like me and Vinnie. Only difference is the one who looks like me is far more attractive and, well, a girl. Vinnie’s look alike wasn’t nearly as cute as Vinnie. I mean he was conventionally attractive but lacked a certain puppy dog look that Vinnie has, I mean other than the concerning movie taste. The scene finished as soon as it started, and the movie continued. It was honestly super corny and stereotypical, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t invested. Some guy got introduced and now we have a love triangle... of course. All I’m saying is I’m on team “whatever face who looks like Vinnie”. I look to the actual Vinnie to see if he’s at least amused by the movie, but I seriously doubt it he looks so bored he could be asleep. I just try to pay to the movie. I mean the reason Vinnies is even putting up with it is because of me. It’s pretty much just going through the motions of being a movie though. Time flies by and I’m on the actual edge of my seat I know I made fun of the movie, BUT I need to know who Kasey ends up with. The best character in the movie, Johnny or the scum of the Earth Chad. I mean who's actually named Chad anyway. Just then Kasey starts delivering her big speech where she chooses... CHAD!? WHAT do you mean CHAD?! The guy who manipulated you into staying in your hometown, the guy who is borderline sexist, the guy who isn’t Johnny! WHAT now you’re quitting your dream job for him! Who even made this movie?! Were they not loved enough as a child or something?! I really can’t believe Kasey would choose Chad. I thought this was a feel-good movie, not a “screw the viewers at home for thinking that Kasey can make her own fucking decisions” ... ok that wasn’t actually as clever as I thought it. But dammit I have a right to be borderline incoherent if Kasey gets to pick Chad. I’m so offended I turn the movie off and direct my attention to Vinnie. 

“Can you believe that!? I was on team Johnny.” 

Vinnie is so shocked from the movie he doesn’t respond. 

“I know right! All Kasey is doing is contributing to the dumb blonde stereotype.” 

I let out a quick chuckle and Vinnie stays silent... maybe I’m not as funny as I thought I was. I look over to Vinnie trying to make out his facial expression. His eyes are closed.... he’s asleep. I blink. At least one of didn’t have to watch that abomination. I shake Vinnie awake. 

“Hmm uh is dinner here.” 

“Oh, right dinner. Uhhh I don’t know I was waking you up cause you fell asleep during the movie.” 

“Oh yeah the last I remember is chase-” 

“Chad.” 

“Chad being introduced into the story. Was it any good?” 

“Ha not really. If it makes you feel better the movie only went down hill after. You got to watch the best part.” 

“Well, that’s good, so did the food get here?”  

“Uhhh if it did I have no clue.” 

Vinnie gives me a nod of acknowledgement and checks his phone laughing. 

“Turns out it got here one and a half hours ago.” 

“Oh, I’ll go get it.” 

“Nonsense you’re the guest sit down at the table I'll grab it.” 

And with that I sit down and wait for Vinnie to grab dinner.  

#original writing #writing

[procyon-icarus]

Weird shit, stupid feelings, possible serious illness of a family member below the cut

A couple weeks ago I had the talk with D about how i wanted to push myself as hard as I could to get my belt before i leave for surgery. Told him that I wanted something tangible to keep the brain gremlins from telling me that there's no reason to come back. His response—instant response, like a reflex, immediate and honest—was "there's always a reason to come back." I also ended up spilling my guts about (almost) everything. How he's the only one that my touch aversion doesn't need a filter for. How the panic attack I had the day we met almost made me black out and would have if he hadn't shouted in my ear at that exact moment. How my brain has been going back and forth between "everyone hates you and just wants you to leave" and "what makes you think that they would even notice if you did?" He seemed surprised by that and then said in a really guilty sounding voice "I've just been really busy lately..." I told him I knew that. I wasn't trying to guilt trip him. I don't play like that. I just needed someone to know what's been going on in my brain and I made him promise that he wouldn't tell anyone that. Except for maybe his dog. Several times before I got into the meat of things I asked him if it was really okay for me to vent to him and every time he told me that yes it was. I was skeptical. I still am. I still feel like I can't make heads or tails of him because I know that there are things he keeps back. It feels like he's biting his tongue when he talks to me a lot of the time. IF he talks to me at all because there are days when he doesn't. Anyway, ended things with a fist bump and went home. Texted him thanks later on and told him I appreciated him. Not "it," the action of listening to me talk like a crazy person. I said "appreciate you." Something (someone, probably Hermes) said that that's how I should say it. D said "Not a problem at all. It's always good to vent."

That weekend I texted him something random. Asking him if he believed in ghosts or whatever. No response. Texted him again, just hey, no response. It shouldn't bother me. I know that. It was a busy weekend, the football finale. But it did. That Monday in class he didn't talk to or even look at me. It made me want to corner him the next time I saw him. Ask him exactly what it is that he thinks of me because I can't take not knowing anymore. Then I got this fortune from a fortune cookie.

Usually when I get fortunes they feel inconsequential. "You'll take a trip soon." "You're a charismatic leader." This one felt direct, like it was saying "hey, that thing you're thinking of doing? DON'T FUCKING DO IT!" And then my tarot app followed it up with this.

Doubling down on being patient. Okay fine. I'll wait. Suffer in silence. Happy fucking Valentine's Day to me.

But that weekend also.... my mom got her mammogram results back. They're sending her for more imaging this Thursday. I was in shock for a few days.

Last Wednesday was a really small class. Just me, T2, and D for most of it. A newer guy that I don't really know but they seem to, "M," showed up later. Before M got there though, when it was just the three of us, T2 asked "why is it that you get in closer to throw D than you do with me?" I just threw my hands up in the air. I definitely don't want to have to explain the whole filter thing to T2, or really anyone else for that matter. I feel like he'll end up suspecting that I like... "like like" D, if he doesn't already. I mean... it's true but I don't want anyone to know that.

That night after class when I sat down in my car, everything about my mom hit me all at once. As soon as I stopped doing something to distract myself. That's when it all comes crashing down. We don't know anything yet. It could be nothing. It could be a lot of other less scary and more manageable things. But...

I knew I had to tell a couple people. I don't want to be too vocal about it because I don't want to make a big deal over what could be nothing but at the very least I figured some judo people should know in order to account for my more than usual weirdness. Again, T2 and D would be the most logical people. T2 because he's the teacher that works with me the most often. D because, well, it's D. The supposed second cup who's not really up to the job of making me feel like I'm not alone but he's still... in the good moments, he's the person I'm most comfortable with. So I texted D saying "something came up that could be serious. Need to talk to you and T2, preferably together because I don't think i can go through this more than once." The next morning he responded saying that he hoped everything was okay and that he couldn't stay long after class but that we could talk while he was there. I said "Ok, thanks bud," again phrasing that I felt compelled to use.

D and I didn't cross paths during class. I briefly told T2 what was up when the girl I was working with (L) was taking a break. T2 said "it's okay if you need to take time off. We'll be here when you get back." Basically the same thing he said about my upcoming surgery.

It snowed while we were inside. I was parked next to D's truck. While our respective engines we warming up and windows had been brushed off, I told him I didn't know how much I would be there the next week (this week, if anyone's actually reading this and trying to keep track) because of the tests my mom needs and because of my surgery consultation, which is later today. He sounded legitimately happy about my appointment which is good. And sad about my mom. I said that I was trying to keep busy because stopping makes the thoughts catch up with me. Told him I would probably end up crocheting a lot over the weekend and that I was picking it up as a "sitting down hobby" I could do after surgery and he sounded supportive and intrigued by it. Maybe intrigued isn't the right word exactly but whatever. It was cold, he had to go, the conversation was wrapping up anyway. But he didn't hold his hand out for a fist bump like usual. It felt like... he was waiting for me to make a move. I wanted—really wanted—to hug him. But that felt like it would be too much. So I rubbed his arm instead. I don't know, it just felt like the thing to do. Slightly more intimate than a fist bump. He seemed okay with it.

Texted him a picture of the unicorn I crocheted over the weekend end. He texted back "came together nicely." Made me smile way more than I should have at 8:30 on a Sunday morning.

It's been getting harder to keep my mind occupied. I haven't slept well since Wednesday when everything hit me. I've been waking up multiple times at night and I feel like garbage.

Yesterday I took a test drive to see where my doctor's office is for today and on the way home I realized that I'm not excited like I should be. I have a weird feeling of... "finality" but also uncertainty. I can't stand it.

Class last night wasn't great. I was exhausted and somehow the newest girl in class, MB, and I got left to our own devices. Literally had to ask T1 to give us something low energy to do because we were out of ideas. MB did ask what was up and I told her that I appreciate her asking but it would take way too long to explain. I like her. She's seems sweet. And unlike D she actually knows how to fucking talk to people apparently. 🙄 gee, imagine that.

I tried to get D alone to talk to him after class. Just a little. But he said that he didn't have time. Sure, he's got time to talk to L and her kids but no time to talk to someone he knows is going through it big time. He did ask me (twice i think) if i was coming wednesday and i said i didn't know. I haven't really slept since last Wednesday. I think he said he was sorry that he couldn't stay. I don't remember the tone he used, if it sounded genuine or guilty or whatever. I said it was okay. I know my tone definitely said the opposite.

I got home. Took a shower. Tried to keep from crying. Texted d a more long winded form "sorry to bother you, im feeling very alone and i just need to hear somebody tell me everything will be alright even if it's a lie." No response. None. Hours later still none. As of right now. Nothing. That upset me. I started typing out a draft on here, repeating "Life's too short to cry over boys who don't care" over and over again and eventually i could just hit the next word button and it would say it for me but then... a wrong click and it gave me a different message. I highlighted it in green.

Again, telling me to wait. Be patient.

Truth? What fucking truth could there possibly be?

He doesn't give a shit. He seems like he does when I'm there in front of him, getting in his face about it. But he doesn't really. I need to stop kidding myself. I'm not important to him and I never will be. He's just been humoring me.

Today is my surgery consultation. I'll need to be getting ready soon. No response from D. Mom's fate in limbo. I got very little sleep. I feel so alone. So very alone.

#tarot journal

[lifetimeshipper]

Cursed Bond

Chapter 4

---------------

Time passed and the Autobots were getting no closer to finding Arcee than when they started. The kids' school had been out for a couple of weeks for a break and it was getting to the time when it will start up again. Jack had been out of state visiting with his father for the break so he has no idea what happened to Arcee. 

The day had come when he would return, so the Autobots, Raf, and Miko were getting ready to break the news to him about Arcee. The kids arrived at the base, Jack was riding with Wheeljack, "Hey, Optimus, what's going on? Why didn't Arcee come to get me?" Jack asked after he got out of the car.

"Jack, we have some grave news. Something happened while you were away," Optimus replies.

"What happened?"

"Arcee was taken by Megatron."

Jack's eyes widened as he felt his world crash down around him, he couldn't believe what he just heard, "W-when? How?"

"A bit over a week ago. We went to an Energon mine to investigate some Energon readings and the 'Cons were there, we got into a fight with them, and while we were shooting our guns one of the blasts hit an Energon crystal and it blew up. It knocked all of us out, when I started coming through I saw Megatron was there. He picked up Arcee and carried her through the Ground Bridge. I tried to get up to go stop him but I was too weak from the blast I couldn't do anything."

"You guys haven't been able to get her back?"

"No, we've been searching for any traces of signal so we could go get her but haven't had any luck," Ratchet responded.

"But you're still trying, right?" Jack asked as he started to panic, he was getting really worried for his guardian and friend.

"Yes, we are still trying, we haven't given up and we won't give up until we get her back," Optimus reassures him.

Jack nods his head, "I know you won't, I believe you guys will get her back."

"Hey, Jack, let's play a game. Come on I'm ready to beat you again," Miko called out to him, she wanted to try and cheer him up.

"That's what you think," Jack said with a smile as he went over to where she and Raf were sitting. He takes a controller and sits down, "I'm the one who's gonna beat you."

"I don't think so," Miko says with a determined look as they start their game.

Bulkhead looked around and noticed Wheeljack wasn't there with them anymore so he goes to look for him. He finds him in Arcee's room sitting on her berth, "How are you holing up?" He asked him.

Wheeljack looks up at him with sad optics, you could tell he had been on the verge of lubricating for some days now, "I miss her, Bulk, I want her back."

"I know you do, we'll get her back and you can be with her again."

"When we get her back I'm never leaving her side again."

"Good. She's been depressed lately because you hadn't returned, she was starting to think you would never return, also that something might have happened to you and you were offline or something."

Wheeljack vented out a sigh, "I didn't mean to worry her, I've had all intentions to return sooner but like I said stuff happened that delayed my return."

"Yeah I know, now just to get her back and tell her."

"Yeah."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arcee left the ship to go for a drive, after some time of being cooped up Megatron allowed her to go out. It felt nice to feel the wind against her armor and the dirt and gravel under her tires, she missed the feeling of it and was relieved to be able to feel it again. This feels so nice, I really missed this. I just hope Megatron's not gonna make me pay him back for this kindness, most likely will. But I'm not gonna worry about it, I'm just gonna enjoy my free will while it lasts. 

She pulls up to a riverbank and transforms, she then sits down next to the stream. She looks at her reflection in the water and stares at the Decepticon symbol now embedded on her winglet where the Autobot symbol had been. She sneered as she felt disgusted at the sight of it, "I can't believe Megatron made me change my insignia, though I figured he would since I'm now his mate," she says as she continues to look at it. She lays down in the grass and looks up at the sky as memories flood her processor. 

Before long she started feeling a pain in her chest, in her spark chamber, she sits up with a servo on her chest as she wonders what was going on. The pain started going away so she thought nothing more of it, but then the pain started again even more painful. She grabbed her chest as she curled up into a ball, "What is going on? This pain... it hurts so bad." 

She felt her systems starting to shut down and she started to fade into unconsciousness. She got on the comm to call for a Ground Bridge to the ship, "I... need a... Ground Bridge," she says as she tries to get her air systems to function, they were crashing big time. She sees the Ground Bridge opening up and she tries to get to it but she collapses and passes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Megatron was on the bridge looking at the computers, searching for Energon or artifacts. The doors opened and Airachnid walked in. She was brought to the ship by Breakdown after their fight together. She walks onto the bridge and kneels before Megatron, "You wanted to speak with me, Lord Megatron?"

"Yes," Megatron replied as he turned to look at her, "I heard of your history with Arcee. I am warning you, do not try to harm her in any way, she is my mate and the femme of this ship which means you answer to her. If you cause her any harm or even try to cause her any harm you will be severely punished. Do I make myself clear?" Megatron said in a serious, threatening tone.

Airachnid felt a shiver run through her body as she looked up at him and saw the death glare in his optics, "Yes, my lord."

"As long as we're clear on that. Have you found any new readings?"

"None yet, my lord."

Megatron just turned around to look at the computers again, "You may leave."

"Thank you, my lord," Airachnid said as she gave a bow of her helm. She then got up and walked out, secretly fuming at what Megatron told her. She hates the idea that an Autobot femme, her arch-nemesis, is the femme of the ship and that she must answer to her. Just wait, when I get the first opportunity I will snuff out her spark.

"What's wrong? The meeting with Megatron didn't go well?" Starscream asked her mockingly as he watched her walk by.

"None of your business!" She replied venomously as she walked on. The two saw a Vehicon run by heading to the bridge room.

The Vehicon goes onto the bridge, "Megatron, sir, we got a call for a Ground Bridge from Arcee but she's not coming through. From the way she sounded, it seems something's wrong."

Megatron quickly turned around to face the Vehicon, "What!?" He shouted before he ran off the bridge and headed to the Ground Bridge control room. He gets there and sees a Ground Bridge open but Arcee wasn't coming through, he runs through the Ground Bridge and arrives at the river bank. He sees Arcee laying on the ground unconscious. He picks her up and carries her through the Ground Bridge back to the ship and takes her to Med Bay, "Knock Out!" He called out and the medic came.

"Yes, my lord," he quickly notices Arcee in his arms out cold, "What's wrong with her?"

"That's something I hope you'll tell me, examine her!" Megatron said as he laid Arcee on the medical berth.

"Yes, sir," Knock Out said as he got his scanner and started checking her over.

Starscream and Airachnid watched from outside the room, "Did you have something to do with that?" Starscream asked.

"No. Did you?"

"Oh come now give me some credit, I wouldn't do something that low. Especially if it meant getting a beating from Megatron."

"Come now, Starscream, I know you're against her being here just as much as I am."

"Of course I am, but I wouldn't do anything reckless."

"Neither would I." I bide my time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The kids were all looking at the Ground Bridge along with Ratchet, they finally got a signal on Arcee and the bots went to get her and bring her back. Ratchet gets the call to open the Ground Bridge and he did, they see the bots returning, but no Arcee, "Where's Arcee? Was the signal false?" Jack asked with concern after not seeing his guardian with them.

"No, it wasn't false," Optimus replied as he looked at the child, "The readings indicate she was there we just got there too late, the 'Cons seem to have gotten there before we did and retrieved her."

"Oh..." Jack looks down with sorrowful eyes as his heart sank into his stomach. Miko and Raf put their hands on his shoulders to give him some comfort.

"Well, there is good news, we now know that Megatron lets her off the ship. If we can just get to her sooner next time we can get her back," Bulkhead says trying to lighten the mood.

Jack looked up at him and smiled, "You're right."

"Of course he is, and they will get to her next time," Miko puts in to cheer up her friend. Jack just smiled at her.

#fanfic #transformers fanfic #transformers prime #tfp #wheeljack #arcee #megatron #tfp wheeljack #tfp arcee #tfp megatron #wheeljack x arcee #wheelcee #romance #one-sided love #obsession #forceful mating #cursed sparkbond

[prittypony1]

My Experince With Someone That Had Somthing Similar To DID

(For context i'm a femdom) So this a a duzy of a story hold onto your hats. So I met Stinkerbell online on Discord. She was a sissy femboy who wanted a Mistress. I happily accepted. At some point Stinkerbell said that she was having visions of this women that would talk to her. Then all of a sudden he hears a voice in his head. After meditating for awhile she actually fronts and says her name is Mistress Julia Angel Tya. She's British and polite and a dom. Now as time past I got to know both halves very well. While stinkerbell does as shes told and is kind of lazy and just wants to be a slave all day, Mistress Julia was bossy, and confident and not afraid to tell what she thought. Then about a week ago Stinkerbell ate some mold and went into a week long coma. She awoke and texted me. A couple hours later Mistress came on. She told me that Her old mistress hypmotized her so that she split Julia up into the two people she was today. Mistress wanted them to feel whole again and after a decision with each other they finally merged. Julia finally awoke from her "sleep" after two year visibly confused at her life. I guided her with as much as I knew about her two sides, which happens to be everything true about her. WIth no memory of what happened in the past four weeks, I'm the only one left with those memories. But it's ok, i'l glad shes alive and back to herself again. Here is a chance for us to start over and I get to know her again. She agreed to be my slave and mistress again. Before the merge Stinkerbell was my slave and I was Mistress Julias slave. (a real life jekyll and hyde situation).

Recently Julias told me that she had a husband who committed susicide in 2016 after learning about his daughters death before birth. They had a suragate mother. So since then she decided she doesn't want to love any other man and changed to being a lezbean. She misses him very much. She also has a recovering achohol addict and smokes half a pack of ciggerets a day. (Which I find to be problems that shes going to try to get rid of).

Her old mistress was horrible. Not only did she hypnotize her to change her to whatever her whims were, she also never used aftercare, left stinkerbell in dirty diapers all the time, and caused her to have self esteem issues because of the terrible stuff she said to her. I'm glad she died in a car crash and is now in hell where she belongs.

[tdowning79]

Day 3: Undeserved kindness. Scripture: Romans 5:6-8 Several years ago, while I hit a parked car in a frazzled hurry. “Mommy, did you crash?! Did you break our car?” my little boys shouted. I wasn’t worried about dinging our well-loved (read: beat up) minivan. But when I got out and saw the sizable dent in the shiny red bumper of the new SUV I foolishly hit, my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. With hot tears stinging my eyes, I rifled through my purse for a pen and a paper. All I could find was my Walmart shopping list and a green crayon. So on top of bread and cereal, I scribbled a heartfelt apology along with my name and phone number so the car owner could call me. Surely the bumper would have to be replaced. Probably to the tune of a thousand dollars. I felt so stupid. So sorry. So ashamed. For days a lump rose in my throat every time my phone beeped or rang. But the red SUV owner never called. A couple of weeks passed. One day I answered the phone without thinking. “Hello?” “Hi, this is Mary. I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to call, but I just wanted to thank you for the note you left on my car,” the unfamiliar voice said. It took a minute to register. “Oh my goodness, Mary. Thank you for calling. I’m so very sorry I hit your car. Let’s talk about repairing the damage.” “Oh, not at all, dear. I just wanted to tell you I appreciated your kind note.” “Oh, Mary, are you sure? I feel awful about it.” “Don’t you worry at all. I could hardly see a thing. I’m just thankful for your wonderful little note. You and your family have a blessed day.” Now hot tears streamed down my face for a different reason. Jesus has been my Savior for 35 years. I grew up in the church, and I’ve read my Bible regularly for two decades. But the thing that helped me truly understand the depth of God’s loving-kindness and grace wasn’t a sermon or theological discussion. A lady named Mary called to say I didn’t have to fix her banged-up bumper. Romans 5:8 tell us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This verse sums up the power and beauty of undeserved kindness in the greatest display ever made. Undeserved.. https://www.instagram.com/p/CfWm25nuz2G/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[felix-the-creature]

Diner California, a killjoy AU

Chapter 7

Party stares themselves down in the dimly lit bathroom mirror, door cracked enough to let a little light into the room. They sigh, running their hands through their hair. The dye from a few days ago hasn't stuck well, already fading to a darker red. They rest their head face down on the counter, hunched and unhappy.

Everything feels in shambles. Ghoul is one of their very best friends, and now he doesn't even want to be in the same room as them. Kobra.. Kobra is scared of them. To be fair, Kobra is nervous around both Party and Ghoul right now, but it stings Party more. The youngest killjoy now mainly hangs out with Jet, who has remained neutral to the whole argument.

They glare at their dim reflection, and it glares back.

How can they fix this?

The trans am is parked next to the diner. Jet had been doing some maintenance on it earlier, but retreated when the sun went down. Party walks through the dusty evening gloom to the car. They plop down in the driver's seat, but instead of taking the car anywhere they twist the knob on the dashboard that connects to the car's cb radio.

They clear their throat, then talk into the evening air. "Show pony, are you there? It's Party"

They wait, staring out at the first stars of the night. It's sort of cloudy. They try again.

"Pony, I need help"

Maybe Show pony's out in the desert somewhere, skateboarding the evening away as they often do. They won't pick up, Party decides. He opens the car door.

Shhhk

"Wazzup?"

Shhhk

Party let's out a breath of relief.

"I need your advice. I got into a fight with Ghoul and now everything's messed up"

Shhhk

"Tell me about it"

Shhhk

So he tells them about it. When he gets to the part where Kobra doesn't want to be with him anymore his voice cracks, and he has to take a breath to stop from crying.

Shhhk

"Yeah, that's a mess"

Shhhk

"So what do you think I should do?"

There was silence for a moment. Party nervously fidgets with a couple of pebbles that had somehow gotten in their back pocket.

Shhhk

"they think you're no fun anymore, yeah?"

Shhhk

"Yeah... its like they're treating me like a controlling adult. Like they can't do anything with me anymore"

Another voice cuts through the line, this one deeper than Show pony's.

"Heyy hey, don't just say controlling adult like all adults are like that. SOME of us have morale codes"

Party smiles at the teasing tone. "Hi Cherri, how's it going?"

"Fine, fine. Pony's cussing at me to leave the line though, I'll leave you two to it"

There's a bit of static, and then Show pony's voice is back on the speaker.

"Anyways, I'm sorry they're treating you like that. You only overreacted a little bit. But I think you need to prove them wrong"

"How?"

"Hmmm... lemme think"

The line goes silent. Party drums his fingers on the steering wheel. Finally Pony picks back up.

"Let's throw a party, Party. Get them having fun, prove you're still the same fun loving killjoy. I can get Cherri to chaperone, If you're worried about them doing dumb shit again"

Party leans back in the seat. "That, that sounds like a great idea. Your place or mine?"

The line is fuzzy for a bit. Then Pony's annoyed voice cuts back in.

"Dang interference, I hate static. It almost feels like something else is cutting in.

Let's have it over here. And you don't have to tell them we came up with it together. Let's say you found out I was throwing a party and inviting every crash queen and motor baby in the zone, and you thought it'd be fun to go?"

"Sounds fun as hell. I like the way you talk. But what about Dr D? Isn't he gonna object? Every killjoy in the zone?"

"As many as I can get ahold of. Might even be zones, plural. And don't worry about D. He's off at some convention for eccentric radio show hosts, won't be back for awhile. Let's do next week... Friday sound good?"

"Deal"

The two conspirators hang up. Party gets out of the car and leans against the door, looking up at the evening sky. There hadn't been a proper party in ages. They'll have to find their shenanigans mask, the blue and white fuzzy abomination christened Mousekat.

Party poison walks back inside, a little more confidence in their step.

#mcr #my chemical romance #danger days #party poison #fun ghoul #jet star #kobra kid #killjoys #gerard way #mcrmy #danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys

[l-artemisia-del-secolo]

Blind date

Hi. This isn’t on you prompt list but could you do a one shot of Yelena x Reader and R comes to a long awaited date with Yelena but because of the mission before she has temporary blindness and gets Nat to help with the date. (Kinda like the one episode of Flash. Idk if you watch that.)

I'm so sorry it took so long. I do hope, you enjoy it.

Masterlist Shelter for survivor!Natasha Romanoff

600 followers celebration

"What kind of a supervillain would use a bright light as a weapon?" Kate couldn't believe that right now you were sitting on a medical bed in front of her.

"Apparently a brilliant one." You were rubbing your eyes and not letting your fellow Avenger help you.

Kate groaned and tried to use a portable optical machine on you. With a doomed expression you tilted your head. Red light, beeping and a disappointed diagnosis.

"Well, it's not that bad." Kate waved her hand in front of you. "It's not permanent. Maybe a couple of days. A day if you're lucky and you'll have your perfect vision again."

"And there's no way to speed it up a little? Maybe a cool pill or eye drops?" You didn't react to her movement and looked in a completely different direction.

"There's no need to intervene. Medicine can only make it worse. So, take it easy. Go home and just relax."

Your phone suddenly dinged. And Kate watched in amusement as you were bumping in the table to get to it faster. But Bishop got it before you.

"So, text from whom are you trying to hide?"

"Give it to me..." You thought you were close to grabbing her hand, but failed miserably.

"If I give it to you, how are you going to know who texted?"

You could hear her grin but you had no other choice. You were waiting for this text for days. Even though now Bishop was teasing you, she was your best friend, your closest person.

"Fine. But no comments."

"It's from Yelena. Everything's OK, she's in town. And she's waiting for your evening together." As Kate was reading, her voice was becoming

higher and higher. "She even added an emoji. I'm surprised, Yelena Belova knows how to use them."

You felt relieved. You asked Yelena out on a date a few weeks ago. Both of you were for some reason surprised by your sudden offer, but it wasn't unexpected. Belova had to leave for a much cooler mission than yours. Every day, you hoped nothing would change, nothing would happen, Yelena wouldn't take back her "yes".

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kate put your phone in your hand.

"It happened spontaneously and I wasn't sure she would even remember."

"Well, unfortunately you'll have to cancel."

"Why?" You were baffled.

"Because you don't see a single thing." Kate packed your bag. "So, tell me what to text her and I'll finally go home. Mom is gonna kill me if I miss the party."

No, no, no. You were waiting for weeks. What would Yelena think about you, if you canceled? You'd never have another chance. Luckily for you, the room became filled with the familiar warm raspy voice.

"Hey girls, how was the mission?"

___

"Don't even ask me." Nat was shaking her head, trying to run away from you. "I won't help you have a date with my own sister."

"But, Romanoff. Remember when I saved your life in Spain?" You thought you were following her, but instead just crashing into chairs and boxes. You didn't remember the compound as well as you thought.

"You were the one who blew our cover."

"Ok, how about Romania?"

"You shot in the gas tank of our car." Nat took pity on you and stopped you with a touch of her hand on your shoulder.

"I see the pattern, but I'll do anything..."

"Why today? Why is this day so important?"

"Because it's my only chance. You know Yelena. She'll think, it's not meant to be. With our schedules and this accident." You didn't want to lose her. Unfortunately for you, the woman you were in love with so easily believed that she simply didn't deserve normal relationships.

"Fine." Russian sounded softer. Nat knew that you were right. She also knew. how stubborn both of you were. Everyone on the team knew.

And the fact that you managed to  get as far as the date, was good news. "You did help me in Bolivia. I guess, I owe you."

___

Nat chose the dress, the glasses, gave you an earpiece, drove you to the venue.

"Let the waiter guide you. Don't worry, everything's going to be ok."

With the encouraging words you stepped out of the car.

___

"You're exactly on time!" Yelena smiled and waved at you.

You wished you had a less awkward entrance, but letting the waiter guide you at least helped you get to your seat. You were lucky, your table was on the terrace and the sun was still felt in the air.

"And she's right in front of you" earpiece vibrated

"These glasses suit you." And yet Yelena noticed how out of place they were. "That's a good start. You're not late. People often can stand me up."

"Why would they stand you up?"

"You knew. the reputation." Yelena nervously tried to laugh it off. "Not that one. That's not what I meant. I'm a proper date. A good girl."

"Oh, sister. That's embarrassing" Nat chuckled.

"Right."

You smiled and had no idea where to look. You tried to move as little as you could, so that Yelena wouldn't think that you're checking her out.

"Tell her, she looks amazing. Dress is absolutely perfect."

"You look amazing."

"Oh, thank you. I wasn't sure about the color. You like it?"

"Damn it. I can't see the color. The video's black and white."

"Any color should be thankful for you wearing it."

"Nice safe. Didn't expect that from you."

"Really smooth." Yelena laughed.

"Wine list." Waiter announced.

You thought he was on the right. But you only grabbed the air. Menu was on the left.

"Thank you." You mumbled, but the waiter was already gone. "Why don't you choose?"

You handed it over to Yelena, almost knocking over the bottles with water.

"Why do you even need me?"

___

"So, how was your last mission?"

You got to your dessert without any further complications. And you were really proud that Yelena was feeling comfortable around you. You could swear, you never heard her laughing like this. Even her tone was smiling at you.

"We were saving hostages. Families. It was hard, but worth it. Seeing happy children's faces is why we do it. So that they wouldn't have our fate."

"You're right" You tried to find her hand on the table. And you almost immediately did. Yelena wanted to feel you, she helped you touch her.

"It's OK." You could hear the tears in her voice. "Natasha helps a lot, of course. Just as she does now."

"What?"

"What?" You shook her head.

"You don't see me, right? What kind of a black widow would I be, If I didn't notice that? How many and which fingers am I showing you?" She was frankly enjoying you being so lost. It was her tiny revenge.

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry. And embarrassed." You took off the glasses and an earpiece. "It's my last mission and I didn't want to cancel. We both have been waiting for weeks. And tell me it's not a middle one."

"I would probably do the same thing, honestly." Yelena chuckled. "Just not ask my own sister."

___

"Come on, we gotta go to the cab." Yelena was holding your hand and gently showing you the way.

"Just don't let go of me."

"Never. Just another step. And funny how we skipped to the hand holding part."

"Yeah, look..." You stopped Yelena. "I didn't want it to be like this. I truly didn't want it to start with a trick."

"I understand. And I noticed it as soon as you came in. Clinging to the waiter for dear life." She cupped your face and you felt her breath on your lips. "I appreciate the effort. Trust me, if I didn't feel the way I do, I'd walk away immediately.."

You pulled her even closer and she once again guided you. But this time into the gentle kiss, that very quickly turned into a heated one.

"So, we're at a kissing stage?" You asked under your breath.

She hummed a "yes" in your soft skin. "But we'll wait, till we both can fully enjoy it"

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