#this isn’t a joke this is a plead for marauders friends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

messers-moony · 3 years

Text

Runaways | R.B

Paring: Regulus Black X Twin!Fem!Reader

Summary: Regulus refuses to lose yet another sibling after Sirius leaves.

Being a Hufflepuff Prefect with a mischievous older Gryffindor brother is a lot of work. Sirius is frequently getting into trouble, and Remus is no help. But honestly? Y/n isn’t either. If anything, she laughs at her brother and her friend's antics. Y/n is the only Black family member still in good shape with all her family.

Sirius was overjoyed when Y/n was into Hufflepuff. His little sister following in his footsteps of no longer being a Slytherin. However, Y/n’s twin brother - Regulus - was sorted into Slytherin. She didn’t let that define their relationship. Y/n was close with her twin and the Marauders. Remus often bumped her shoulder in the halls making her smile. The werewolf often had that effect on her. So did James, and so did Peter.

But no one made a giant smile appear on her face than Sirius and Regulus.

“Oi! Little sis!” His voice, it was calm and bright, something she hadn’t heard in a long time.

Y/n turned, “Hey Siri.”

Sirius’ arm went around her shoulders, “How’s your day been?”

“Good, yours?”

“Oh,” Sirius sighed, dreaming, making her chuckle, “It’s been perfect, dear sister.”

“What did you do now?” Y/n fake scolded, “Everything.” Sirius replied.

A familiar raven-haired boy was making their way towards them, hoping and praying that they wouldn’t notice. His green tie and green robes. The prefect badge on the left side of his chest. The wavy black hair and the beautiful grey eyes. The 5’11 Slytherin walking towards his twin sister and older brother. The people he adored the most in the world but barely talked to within the castle walls. His plan ultimately failed.

Regulus turned to walk by his two siblings only for Y/n to wrap an around his shoulder, “Reggie!”

“Y/n, Sirius.” Regulus greeted with the corners of his lips barely turning up, “How’s your day been?” Sirius asked, turning to look at his younger brother.

“Good until two idiots came along.” He joked with a smile adorning his features.

Y/n put her hand on her heart dramatically, “You wound me!”

Both brothers chuckled, and a Professor came to greet them in the middle of the hallway, seeing their beautiful smiling faces, “All three Black’s in one spot. How brilliant!” Slughorn commented as Sirius faked tipping his hat.

The three Black siblings. The Black trio. One Gryffindor, one Slytherin, and one Hufflepuff. Oh, how Walburga adored them despite the way she treated them. It was never in her heart to treat them the way she does. Orion had such a soft spot for his twins. But alas, both parents knew that if they didn’t raise them correctly - or without abuse - they would only get hurt worse. Walburga knew that if she treated them the way she truly wanted to, they’d be split.

But that never compared to the aching in her heart when she had to cast a spell on her children. The kids she was sworn to protect. Walburga never wanted this life, never wanted to marry Orion, hell, she never even wanted kids, but Merlin, her kids were great. Slughorn and McGonagall would send her letters of how wonderfully they’ve been doing in their studies, how Sirius made another cauldron explode, how Regulus caught the snitch and won the Quidditch Cup, how Y/n made prefect and was top of her class.

It was beautiful, and for once, Walburga was happy. She hid all the letters from Orion. If Orion knew he’d made Walburga send a howler, and she didn’t want that. Godric how she hated the awful red colors the howlers came in. The awful shade of brilliant rose. It brought a grimace to her face just thinking about it. But like everything, the truth comes out, and Sirius eventually got a howler.

Sirius let go of Y/n to begin Transfiguration while the two twins made their way to Herbology. Not before Sirius kissing the tops of their heads like he did when they were kids, “I love you guys!”

“Black, get in here!” McGonagall yelled, and both twins laughed, “We love you too!” They replied in unison.

Regulus and Y/n laughed, their arms around each other's shoulders, “I never want him to leave.” Regulus admitted.

“Me either.”

The day was uneventful. More learning, more foolishness, and more laughter. Professor Sprout couldn’t help but smile at the Black twins in her classroom. Regulus was always ice cold when not around his siblings. They made him shine even if he couldn’t find a reason to. It didn’t matter where they were. The Black trio always brought smiles with them. Whether it was Y/n and Sirius, the twins, or all three, their smiles, their laughs, their happiness was so contagious. Three children from an abusive home, coming together to make each other smile. How is it possible?

Y/n would be the answer. The glue to the Black family. The bond to keep her brothers from drifting apart. But that all changed in the summer of 1976.

It was dark and another day of yelling. Sirius couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to leave. He wanted to go. It was bound to happen. He kept telling himself. But did that excuse leaving his siblings behind? Would he risk their safety for his own pleasure? Sirius didn’t have time to think about it. He packed his trunk and opened the window. One leg out and just about to get the other over until his door opened.

His little sister, “Sirius?”

“Hey, sis…” Sirius hated how his voice shook and almost broke.

“What- Where are you going?”

He couldn’t help it; she needed to know the truth, “Away. Far away from here.”

Y/n crossed her arms slowly, “Without saying goodbye?”

“Goodbye?” Sirius replied with a nervous smile.

She shook her head with a smile, walking toward his window. Sirius expected a smack, a lecture. But she didn’t do that. Y/n cupped both his cheeks and kissed his forehead like he did when she was hurt. Tears filled his grey eyes without permission as he stared at his younger sister's glossed eyes. Gently she ran her hand through his hair, moving it back.

“I suppose you were never good at goodbyes.”

“Not really, no.” Sirius chuckled.

Y/n smiled, “I know you aren’t happy here. You were never happy here.” Sirius interrupted before she could continue, “You could give Remus a run for his money.”

“Listen, Sirius, please.” She pleaded, and Sirius looked at her eyes; he’d miss them, “All I ask, is that you take care of yourself. Regulus and I, we’ll manage. But you should say goodbye to him too….”

“Go get him.”

It took minutes, but Regulus was eventually standing in front of his older brother, one leg out of the window and the other inside his bedroom. Y/n stood behind them, arms crossed with tears streaming down her cheeks silently. Regulus looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn’t. Sirius didn’t care anymore. Silver trails ran down his cheeks, especially when Regulus hugged his older brother with all his strength.

“I'm going to miss you.”

Sirius sniffled, “I’ll miss you a hundred times more.”

“Impossible.” Y/n interjected, smiling.

Regulus and Sirius pulled apart, Regulus now standing beside his twin, “I need you to know,” Sirius began, looking at Regulus, “James isn’t your replacement. He is nothing compared to you. You’re my brother, always.”

“And you,” He turned to Y/n after Regulus nodded, “You’re my baby sister, through and through. Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean you can give me detention.”

They chuckled, and possibly for the last time, “Always.”

“Forever.”

“Together.”

Sirius gave a watery smile and finished the jump out his window. Wordlessly Y/n shut it behind him. Regulus stood in front of the glass pane until Sirius was out of sight and gave a heavy sigh. Y/n was standing right beside him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“I knew it was going to happen. I just wish it wasn’t so soon.” Regulus whispered, “I know.” Y/n agreed.

Regulus took her hand, “Forever.”

“Together.” Y/n replied, squeezing his hand.

So many they lost their always, but they still had each other. The next night at dinner was dreadful. Possibly the worst one yet, “Where is he!”

“I- I don’t know.” Y/n answered, cowering away, her hand rubbing her forearm.

Walburga looked at Regulus, and he shook his head, “Where is Sirius?”

“Gone.” Walburga replied to her husband, who gave a mere shrug at the answer, “Our heir is gone, Orion! What are we going to do now.”

“The reasonable thing, Y/n is next in line.”

Walburga scoffed, “Absolutely not.”

Regulus reached for his sister's hand after noticing the tears collecting in her eyes, “She is a disgrace! Just like Sirius!”

Orion put down the daily prophet, looking at his wife across the table, “What would you like me to do about it?”

“Regulus!” The boy stiffened, “You are our next heir.”

“No!” Y/n exclaimed, her rage taking over, “That isn’t how it works! I’m the next in line, disgrace or not. I'm older than Regulus.”

Walburga pulled out her wand, but Y/n didn’t flinch, “With that courage, you should be in Gryffindor.” The older woman seethed.

“You feel no remorse, do you?” Y/n asked, but she did; Godric, Walburga hated herself, “Putting your wand to my neck like I’m some training dummy.”

“How do you think we feel! Our older brother is gone! The one who took care of us because our parents can’t.”

Y/n had tears flowing down her cheeks, “How do you think we feel?”

The girl stood up from the table without being dismissed after letting go of Regulus’ hand, “I saw the tapestry.”

“You burned him from it! What kind of monster are you?! He’s your son regardless of his house. I’ll be your heir, but I will never be your puppet.”

Y/n ran up to her bedroom. Walburga and Orion stared at their son, who sat as stiff as a board. More minutes passed, and Regulus left the table too but not before speaking to his parents, “I’ll- I’ll be your heir. I’ll be your son.”

“Brilliant. Thank you, Regulus.” Walburga smiled.

Regulus lost his brother. He wasn’t losing his sister. But over time, it felt like he was. There was no more laughter in the halls. Only one Black sibling was laughing and smiling - Sirius. There was no more hugging in the halls, no more playing around. Regulus and Y/n were ice. They were cold and in pain. That was the first thing Sirius noticed. His siblings hadn’t stopped by his carriage like usual. It dampened his mood.

“Hey, I’m sure they’re just busy.” James had reassured, but Sirius wasn’t so sure.

It was the first ride to Hogwarts that Sirius was utterly silent. He played with the ribbon in his hand. It was a green ribbon that he carried with him everywhere. The boys never knew what it was or where it came from. They had just discovered that Sirius would fidget with it when he was upset. Remus noticed it first - of course - but James did too, and shortly Peter followed. It was her ribbon, Y/n’s ribbon. A ribbon she wore in her hair when she was seven.

After a bad punishment, Sirius had been given Y/n took care of him. Washed his cuts and plastered them. It was then she learned how much Sirius loved when people did his hair. So she braided it for him and tied it off with her green ribbon. He remembered the way it felt on his fingertips. So perfectly combed and webbed together. It was the reason his hair was long enough to braid. Every Quidditch match, he’d weave it. James asked why once, and Sirius ignored him, but Y/n knew. It was okay to keep secrets sometimes.

Fifth-year for the twins went by smoothly. Sirius’ sixth year was hell. He missed his siblings so much somedays it was hard to get up in the morning. Regardless it was hard to get Sirius out of bed in the morning, but this year was particularly rough. It was like he was in a constant state of Remus after the full moon - tired, fatigued and sad.

He missed Regulus’ smile and Y/n’s laughter. Godric, he missed everything! Sirius cried - sobbed about it at night. His silencing charms weren’t good. It left James and Remus in a tricky spot. It was apparent he didn’t want to talk about it because if he did, he would’ve by now. Remus stopped seeing the twins during prefect rounds and stopped seeing Y/n altogether. It was like she was avoiding them.

The twins did their prefect rounds together, studied together, and only talked to each other. It broke Sirius’ heart. He ruined everything just for his own pleasure. But hadn’t Y/n meant what she said? That she wanted him to be happy? Sirius wasn’t happy. He was far from it.

Regulus had nightmares every night about his parents. About his brother leaving, about everything. So he didn’t sleep most nights, and instead, he threw himself into his studies. Occasionally he’d realized that he had done two essays and then understood that he no longer had to do his brother's homework. Regulus had copies of reports everywhere because it was a habit. A habit he had to lose.

Y/n stopped baking extra cookies. Every Saturday, she’d go to the kitchens to bake a new delicacy the muggle way. Y/n couldn’t help but accidentally bake extra for her Gryffindor brother, only to realize that she wouldn’t give them to him. Instead, she gave them to the house elves to serve after dinner in the Great Hall. They’d appear on the Gryffindor table, and Sirius knew they were a product of her.

During the summer holiday of 1977, Regulus began to notice that Y/n gone often. Walburga would send her away, or Orion would make her run an errand. Regardless Y/n wasn’t around as much. Was she going to run like Sirius? Walburga and Orion sent her to Auror training. Y/n was young, too young for this training. It was Auror training, but they weren’t training her to work for the Ministry. They were preparing for her to become a death eater.

Weeks passed, and Regulus felt saddened by her absence. So one day at dinner, he spoke up, “Why haven’t you been present at home?”

Y/n chuckled, “Are you serious? You haven’t told him?”

“What- What do you mean?” Regulus questions suspiciously.

Walburga coughed, “She’s been put into training.”

“Training?”

“Auror training.”

“But not to be an Auror, to be a death eater.”

Y/n scoffed, “Bullshit, tell him the real reason.”

She looked at both her parents, “They don’t want me anymore. They send me away because it’s easier than disowning me, like Sirius.”

“N- No.” Regulus denied, “Mum, tell me that she’s lying.”

Silence, “Answer me, please.” Regulus pleaded as a water film glossed his grey eyes.

“She’s not lying.” Orion stated, and Regulus let his tears fall down his cheeks, “No! I won’t let you take her from me!”

Regulus stood up, and his chair flipped behind him, “If you disown her, you disown me!”

“Reggie…”

“No! Please no!” Regulus was clawing at his hair, sobbing, “Don’t take her too….” He whimpered.

Y/n began to stand up until Walburga sent a spell her way, throwing her back. It just made Regulus cry more. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. They were sixteen! This wasn’t fair. So Regulus stood up and held back his tears. Walburga held her wand to his throat, making Y/n nervous. But Regulus was cold, ice cold. Hastily he grabbed his mother's wand and snapped it. Y/n didn’t have time to gape. Regulus ran to her, and they ran.

Through the front door to anywhere else in the dark of the night. Orion was too busy with his wife to realize his children were gone. Y/n was sure they were miles away before they stopped. No magic could be done. They weren’t seventeen yet. They’d have to survive without magic. But then she heard it. A howl. It was a risk, a big one, but they had to take it.

She took her brother's hand and began running towards it, “Y/n, where are we going?”

“To whatever is howling.”

“Are you mental?”

“Maybe.” Y/n shrugged.

Suddenly he saw it. That look Sirius always had. She looked free, happy, and mischievous. Suddenly she wasn’t Y/n Black. She was just Y/n. His twin sister. The girl that would beg her brothers to adventure with her, to trust her blindly. That’s what he was doing now - trusting her blindly. They must’ve been miles away. Regulus didn’t even know how they got that far, but in the forest, the howling got louder.

But at the edge of the forest was a black dog, guarding the entrance to the woods, making sure that no one entered. The stag was taking care of the werewolf. They took turns. One full moon, the dog, was to stand guard, next the stag. Y/n cried upon seeing the animal. She dropped to her knees, and Regulus knelt beside her. The dog looked familiar and gave them both great kisses. They fell asleep together. Y/n, Regulus and the dog.

The following morning, James went back out to the forest after realizing Padfoot was missing. At the entrance of the forest, he saw them. The Black trio. So he left them. Sirius knew the way back; it wasn’t worth ruining their moment. Regulus stirred awake first and woke the dog. The dog left a multitude of kisses on the twins. Y/n woke up shortly after.

Regulus was appalled to see the dog turn into his older brother but happy nonetheless, “Sirius!”

“Reggie.” Sirius replied, holding him close.

They parted, and Sirius kissed his forehead, “How?”

“The howling.”

“How did you leave?”

“I snapped mum’s wand.”

Sirius looked flabbergasted, “Really?”

“She- She was going to separate us. I didn’t- I couldn’t lose another sibling.” Regulus admitted, and Sirius took him into his arms again, “Never again. I promise.”

Y/n chuckled, “Looks like we’re all runaways.”

Sirius grabbed her into the hug, “But we’re doing it together.”

2K notes · View notes

blitheringmcgonagall · 2 years

Text

A Marauders What If...?

What if James had been blamed for the Prank? What if he got expelled at the end of Fifth Year? What if there was never a Lily Evans and James Potter, Head Boy and Head Girl? If they parted enemies, if they never got together in their final year in Hogwarts? What if the marauders lost James? What then?

For @pottinglilies for your stellar prompts and challanges ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Jily challenge January 2022: First War

@Blitheringmcgonagall vs @wearingaberet

My thanks to @siriuslychessi for help with the beautiful banner and to @hp-marauders-fics for the incredible ask that inspired this and to the prompt from @jilychallenge for January - First Wizarding War and “James gets kidnapped and Lily storms in on the death eater headquarters to get him back because it just got pERSONAL you bastards”

I’ve written a canon prank fic called Boys Don’t Cry which tries to explain why Sirius told Snape about the Whomping Willow, and the sequel to that We Can Be Heroes, a canon marauders fic (with a happy ending), which starts with James trying (and failing) to take the blame for Sirius’ role in The Prank. This is a What If...? of that idea

Chapter 1: June 12th 1976: Pin It All On Me

You go sleep with the fishes There's no room for you here There's no room for you here Wrap your teeth around the pavement Cause your body's a message Send my regards to hell

Fall upon your knees, sing: "This is my body and soul here" Crawl and beg and plead, sing: "You've got the power and control" Don't pin it all on me Don't pin it all on me

Blame by bastille (2016)

“I told him. I told Snivellus about the Whomping Willow, how to get past it,” Sirius’ voice a dull whisper as he turned away towards the window.

“You did what? Merlin, Padfoot, that isn’t even remotely funny!”

Diisbelief. Sirius would never. No way. It was a sick joke, it was –

“Is that…?” Peter pointed out of the tall common room window.

In the shadow of the rising moon, a thin, slightly hunched figure, head bent down to avoid the heavy downpour, with shoulder length dark hair, walking in the direction of-

“Sirius, what the fuck did you do?” he seized his friend’s arm and swung him around, grabbing him by his shirt collar, hazel eyes blazing, blood pounding in his ears.

“It’s Snivellus,” Wormy said, nervous blue eyes flickering between James’ flushed face and Sirius’ expressionless white one.

“ANSWER ME YOU BASTARD! WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?” a vice-like grip on his shirt, practically lifting Sirius into the air.

Sirius stayed silent.

“Get McGonagall,” he turned to Peter. “Tell her Snape found out, get her to the shack, now!”

Before Peter could reply, he was already gone, hurtling down the stairs, running faster than he had ever run in his entire life.

Don’t think, just run, don’t think, just run…

Over and over, relentlessly pushing away any thoughts about why or how or what.

Don’t think, just run, don’t think, just run…

Running, racing against time, unable to see with the pelting rain, wand gripped tightly in his wet hand as he forced his legs onwards, peering ahead, seeing Snape’s figure now almost at the willow.

Don’t think, just run, don’t think, just run…

***

James ran his left hand through his unruly hair for the umpteenth time and looked at Dumbledore expectantly. It was midnight, and they had been sitting in silence in his office for a few minutes, which felt like hours. Dumbledore had finally poured them both a strong cup of tea. The headmaster picked up the dainty pink and blue bone china teacup and brought it towards his lips when James started to speak.

“Sir, it was all my fault,” he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I don’t know what came over me. I told Snape to go to the Shrieking Shack, how to get past the Whomping Willow. I was angry with him, we’ve never gotten on, you can ask anyone… ask Evans. I wasn’t thinking straight. I wanted him to get a fright. I realised it was a shit decision, Professor, when I calmed down a bit. Horrendously stupid. He knows that Remus is a werewolf now.”

“But he didn’t get hurt?” Dumbledore asked.

James shook his head. Dumbledore stared intently at him, taking in his cracked glasses, the dried blood streaked across his chest.

“You tried to rescue him, Potter?” Dumbledore said.

For all his mild manners and flare for the ridiculous, his eccentric Headmaster was always so astute.

His mind flashed back to earlier that evening, standing in the pouring rain near the Whomping Willow, listening to Snape, who held his friend’s future in his hands.

“Those are my terms and conditions, if you want me to agree to your stupid idea. Take it or leave it, Potter.”

Continue on Ao3

#BLAME #Marauders What If…?#blame it all on YouBlitheringIdiot #marauders magical au #Jily #Wolfstar #angst #drama and romance #first wizarding war #jilychallenge #January 2022 jily challenge #hope you like it #oh fuck 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

106 notes · View notes

oingo233 · 3 years

Text

Rapture is a Boy (6)

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior? And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader (Neutral)

Warings: cussing in this one (words such as whore -but not in a negative way really, just the boys “joking” with one another- and other potty mouth words), mentions of cheating(but we all know the truth), overall angst and if I missed any pls let me know

Authors Note: I think we only have ONE more part left! So lets both rejoice and cry hahaha. This series has had an overwhelming response and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you guys as friends on here and supporters, like you light up my day and I love you so much. We recently hit 100 followers!!!! So watch out for a celebration post and what would you like to see for a celebration? Let me know. I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW! ANyways, enjoy reading my dears....

Word Count: 2.2k

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

Part Six

****Take a Chance on Me****

I haven’t seen Remus at all, in roughly a day and a half since the morning we broke up. He missed 1st period yesterday, and I make sure to avoid him in the halls. I fear that if I caught even a glimpse of him, that my mind would silence itself and my body would fall into his, searching for some type of happiness we once had together. Hoping it would return. He hasn’t been to lunches or dinners, never in the common room. Lily said she saw him often in the library, but refused to tell me more when I pressed for answers.

“You’re just hurting yourself (y/n). I know it’s hard, but you have to at least try to ease your mind of him, not search for more ways to think of him,” She says, not looking up from her homework at the breakfast table. We just sat down together in the great hall for breakfast, and I asked once again about Remus.

“I just want to know...I just- was he with her?” I ask dead out, despite the beating and grieving of my heart. She looks up at me with a soft smile.

“No, he wasn’t. I haven’t seen them together since the break up actually. Marlene says she heard her crying yesterday, just round 1st period.” She watches me take in this information with a slow nod. Though she has seen Remus, she has yet to speak to him, holding her own grudge for the way he treated me.

“Guess he's an all around grade A heartbreaker and prick,” I say, she nods with me. The mood turned somber at the current topic of conversation. I make quick work to change it, sick of the pitying looks and silence. “But aye, how’s James doing?” I smile, knowing she at least enjoys talking about him. But my smile fades quickly as hers turns into a deep frown.

“aven’t spoken to him since... just can’t believe he’d let Remus do such a thing. Or not tell me or you! They’re both daft pricks if ya ask me.” She grumbled, scowling as the doors burst open and as if we summoned the whole lot of them...The Marauders walked in.

First it was Sirius. He strut in with his dark hair bouncing around his shoulder, his Gryffindor tie is like a headband around his forehead which he usually only sports in the common room, teachers tell him way too often to put it back in order. “More of a hassle than a fashion statement during classes, really...” He always says. A tired yet trademark smirk written across his face at the piles of food before him that would easily stir anyone's mood. The smell alone was fantastic, and he rushed to his seat quickly and wasted no time in setting up his plate.

Then, as if fate wanted me to suffer, Remus walked in slowly. His head held high and shoulders pulled back, he is wearing a button up shirt that seemed rather bulky and his robes cascade behind him like rolling waves as he runs a hand through his slightly messy hair. His wide doe eyes find mine and in them the truth is revealed.

He is not as relaxed as the ease in his walk may suggest, he was not as happy. Deep within his eyes I seemed to get sucked into a whirlpool of heartbreaking sadness, anger and what seems to be a plead. Look at me, he pleads, try and understand me once again. I break away from the eye contact and time resumes itself. We are no longer lovers stuck in resign, no, we are now just stuck in our own minds.

I was so caught up in thought that I didn’t see the next two marauders walk through the door. Was Remus wearing sparkly eye shadow? Looks nice, I think, ugh no you don’t like cheating pigs (y/n), I tell myself. I question to myself and analyze our first encounter in two days so much that I miss the way Lily cleared her throat as Peter and James sat down in front of us. Scooting the giggling girls out of the way with their wiggling bums, just to fit. But I did not miss the way Lily’s hard voice rang out.

“What do you want?” She said. Shuffling nervously in her seat as James gives her a desperate and sad face, a frown tugging at his lips until he forces it into a smile.

“Nice to see you too, Evans,” He says, he turns to me and now both him and Peter were staring up at me. “How are you (y/n)?” Peter asks, the whole table could feel how hard he was bouncing his leg. I grit my teeth trying not to get annoyed with them, Lily was right, maybe they knew about Remus and Lucy and kept it from me. I raise a brow at the pair and smile sweetly.

“You here as a friend of mine, or a friend of Remus’s?” I ask, my tone dropping to sounding almost blunt and cold, but I keep smiling so to mask my true emotions. Disappointment and betrayal, all of course stemming from my sadness.

“Uh...” Peter hesitates for just one second too long, James jumps in.

“Here for you of course!” He smiles, bouncing in his seat once with anxiety, smiling into his hand that cupped his chin. Lily narrowed her eyes at him, he was too suspicious, trying too hard. Peter nods quickly but over his right shoulder I glance at a peeking Remus, who quickly turns away and curses under his breath.

“Bullshit.” I say. Laughing to hide my feeling of hurt. They wince with the realization that they’re worse liars than they thought. “But if you’re going to report this all to Remus, tell him he should check up on Lucy and any other, other partners he may have, instead of wondering about the one that hates his guts.” I continue casually, picking up my toast and biting into it cheerily.

“Well, as Remus’s friend, (y/n), I know that he has only ever loved you.” James says, pushing himself off the counter looking rather upset at my words. James nods at me before walking away, leaving Peter to stare at me blankly, as if trying to figure me out, then looks off sadly to the ground and gets up himself.

James’s words echo in my head. Remus has only ever loved me. I felt dizzy. None of this makes sense. Instead of trying to think through things, I let my mouth and emotions take over, I go to say something but my voice cracks. I clear my throat softly and hastily, before trying again.

“And don’t bother talking to me again unless it is as my friend. I miss you guys and you’re just breaking my heart too...” My voice became thick despite my anger, I was devastated at the lost of the boys friendship, and above all Remus. It only hurt more for them to try and use our friendship as some sort of way to console and heal Remus. What about me? I was their friend, was I not?

3rd POV

James swallows thickly, cheeks blushing at the hard glare Lily gave him. Both Peter and him slump in posture, seeming to drag themselves shamefully back to their seats with the other two boys. Peter wanted to cry, he never meant to hurt you. James wanted to cut off his own tongue, could he do anything right? The two boys continue to think badly of themselves, not even noticing the way Remus was chewing on the skin of his thumb and staring them down for answers and details.

“Well?” Remus says, pulling his thumb back as it began to bleed, filling his mouth with a rather unpleasant taste. Sirius watched as Remus’s face contorted with anxiety and impatience. “What they say?” He asked again, this time lightly bumping his knee into Peter’s who sat closest to him.

Peter only slumps further, sinking his spoon into his bowl of cereal. James is the one to finally answer him, Sirius and Remus lean closer as James begins to speak.

“Well. To sum it up for ya mate, you’re an asshole and so are we.” Remus and Sirius sink back, Remus stares at James until Peter speaks up.

“They said you...” He shakes his head, not wanting to say further when Remus already looked on the verge of madness. But then the sly satisfaction of repeating the words to Remus sank in, if Remus was just honest and didn’t ignore you every goddamn second then they all wouldn’t be in this whole mess and you would be feeling a lot happier. But it was ultimately the look on Remus’s desperate face that broke him. “They said you should check up on Lucy instead-”

“Or your other girlfriends, or boyfriends or other partner. As in you’re a whore” James adds both dully and trying to pull a humorous smile from the sullen group, he wanted to quickly take it back with the angry faces of all the boys looking back at him.

Peter gives one last glare to James before continuing “-and to not ask them because they...they don’t currently like you.” Peter finishes. James snorts.

“And that’s putting it lightly.” He says. Sirius ribs him and tries to gauge Remus’s reaction from across the table. When silence falls over them and Remus looks like he might throw up and cry like yesterday, Sirius begins to speak.

“Except Moony isn’t a whore,” Remus looks up at him almost hopefully, and Sirius continues, praying his speech is as encouraging as it is in his head. “But you were always a whore for (y/n), and they have always, and I mean always, been a whore for you too.” Remus releases the breath he was holding with a roll of his eyes, wanting to just tear their plans for this morning into shreds. Sirius deflates upon realizing his speech, was infact not at all very inspiring.

But none of the boys had any time to dwell on how colossally bad the morning is already going, instead their was an anxiety welling up in their bellies. They were going to pull a prank. Well, not really a prank, but something just as drastic and silly and surely the whole school will see. But unlike their other pranks, everyone will no without a doubt, that it will be them to blame. Yet it was something they had to do nonetheless, because it was more than a prank, it was a plan.

A plan to win you back.

Remus had the idea some time early yesterday, and spent the rest of his hours planning it to perfection, getting components ready, and of course convincing the boys to help. By the end of the day his hand was cramped and sore from writing all day, his stomach and eyes protesting for both food and sleep, he spent all day in the library getting everything ready.

He also owes Peter any chocolate he wants every time they go down to Hogsmeade now and to play fetch with Pads whenever Sirius wanted to get “more exercise than you ever will get in a lifetime. None of you will understand the wonder that is a dog playing fetch, AND I look majestic as hell.”

But James agreed to do it free of charge. He missed Lily dearly and wanted her back just as much as Remus was hoping to win you back. Of course, none of the boys really cared what they got out of it. They just wished to see you and Remus happy once again.

The boys all glance back at your table. You were hunched and your toast was untouched since being with James and Peter, bags heavy and prominent under your eyes and Lily, though trying to be cheerful for you, looked just as gloomily. James, Sirius, Peter and especially Remus felt absolutely awful. They felt as if heavy rocks of guilt and sadness was being laid upon their chest and they would soon be crushed to death.

“This better work...” James grumbles, dipping his fingers into his pockets and pulling out sparkly blue eye shadow. Quickly, as if scared to get caught, he slips his fingers past his glasses and decorated his eyes with the color.

Sirius grabbed the makeup next and even went as far as smearing it messily across his lips.

Peter went after, applying it to his cheeks like blush, and if you looked hard enough you’d see actual pink under the blue. They looked gorgeous, though some of the boys felt embarrassed(they all secretly enjoyed it though, Sirius the most). Girls were giggling beside them, James wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

Remus grabbed gold makeup from his own pocket, already having it on his lids he now placed it on his lips so he looked like both the David Bowie and ABBA that you liked and spoke so highly of. Taking a deep breath he turns to James.

“It will” he says. They all pocket their makeup as music begins to play softly, getting louder until levitating speakers they charmed earlier bursts through the door and blasts the great hall with ABBA ‘Take a Chance on Me”. The whole of the great hall fell silent as the song shook their breakfast plates and suddenly a button hit one kid in the head and robe was strewn across another. Everyone stared as The Marauders climbed atop the Gryffindor table...

Taglist:

@crazylokonugget @beyondprincess @1975weasley @nicodoesntexist @goto-hi-this-is-my-brain @yoyoitsbella @ftwert @sognatrice-as-a-hobby @dontjudgemyobsessionpls @blackpinkdolan @holdenviolet @katie-lupin05 @acoustic-archie

131 notes · View notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

Text

Running

A/N: Here is my entry for @obsessedwithrandomthings 500 followers celebrations! Congratulations Dee! You more than deserve this! The prompt I used is in the summary, but I have also bolded it in the text. Thank you so much for letting me take part! The gif doesn't really match the theme of the fic but I searched ‘running’ and it was the best of them lol. I’m also less than 10 followers away from 800 so this is exciting!! As always, I hope you all enjoy!!

Summary: “Run away with me,” You plead, hands framing his face, “It’ll be worth it.”

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: descriptions of injuries, mentions of death and anxiety, vomit - there is a lot of worry and anxiety in this, so please don't read if you don’t like, but I have tried to wrap it up in a fluffy fashion!!

Word count: 1.5k

Your stomach had been a ball of anxiety all night. Nothing anyone said could dampen the fear that was crawling its way up your throat. Something was going to happen tonight, and it wasn’t going to be good.

Your fears are proven correct when Sirius lands in the hallway, holding up a drastically bleeding Remus. His blood stains his white button-up shirt and drips steadily onto the floor.

The scream is caught in your throat. You look wildly at Sirius, demanding an explanation. Sirius explains quickly; they had been tailed as they were following their own targets. Remus threw himself in front of Sirius to protect him from the Sectumsempra curse.

“I couldn’t take him to St. Mungo’s. I don’t know who works there, but I’ve already called for a Healer I can trust,” Sirius shudders, murmuring the levitation charm straight after, following Remus up the stairs in a hurry.

His blood stains the carpet in the hall and would stain the stairs too, but it was the last thing on your mind as you hurry behind Sirius. Remus is laid on the bed; his face contorted in pain, barely conscious but still aware of the pain lancing through his body.

Wordlessly, you conjure clean towels from the airing cupboard, holding them to the cuts across Remus’ chest and arms. Sirius takes a towel from you, holding it to the wound across his stomach.

The Healer arrives in what seems like hours, but it could have been minutes. Your eyes do not leave Remus as you press towel after towel to his cuts, trying to stem the bleeding despite knowing that nothing but magic would help.

Sirius’ hand on your shoulder has you stepping away from the love of your life, letting the Healer complete his work. Your hands are covered in Remus’ blood; your clothes too, are ruined. You barely make it to the toilet to empty your stomach. Sirius is there, holding your hair back, muttering comforting words to you. You press your forehead to the cold porcelain, trying to take everything in now that the adrenaline was leaving your body, but your brain couldn’t comprehend what you had just been witness to.

You force yourself to stand; pushing down the fresh wave of nausea as you make your way back into the bedroom, to Remus. He lies on the bed; his body entirely healed, but deeply asleep.

“I’ve had to give him a strong sleeping draught. He lost a lot of blood and whilst I was able to heal the injuries, there’s going to be some damage internally. He needs to be asleep for it to heal which, with his lycanthropy, will heal in a few days.”

“How long will he be asleep then?” Sirius asks, learning the information to relay to you later. He knows that at the moment, you would not be listening to word being said. That all of your attention would be focused on the man on your bed, asleep and no longer in any pain.

You refuse to leave his side. They all try to coax you from your room. Sirius promises he’ll stay with him so you can shower, but you refuse. Harry tries his hardest to get you to come downstairs to eat, but it doesn’t work. Instead, he leaves for a moment before coming back with a plate of food. You nibble at it, but the nausea soon returns.

The first day blends seamlessly into the second and there’s no change in Remus. He lies on his side of the bed in clean clothes and clean sheets, sleeping peacefully. You admire him from your spot in the armchair across the room; this would the first time in a long time that Remus had managed to get a solid block of sleep without being interrupted by the order or the lunar cycle. You think it every time but in sleep, you see the Marauder in him. You see the teenager you had fallen in love with one afternoon by the Black Lake. The teenager who had stuttered through asking you out but soon found his confidence once you had accepted.

For years it had been you and Remus. The only survivors of the first wizarding war, Remus claimed though it pained him to say it.

On the third day of your vigil beside the bed, Remus groans before blinking against the bright light of the morning. You’re out of your seat in an instant, lurching to the end of the bed with tears in your eyes. “Remus, you’re awake! How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

“I’m sore, but I’m okay. I don’t need anything right now.”

You sag in relief, “I am so happy you’re awake, dear. That was the most terrifying time of my life.”

“Even more than the time you saw me as a wolf?” Remus tries to joke, but he winces instead.

“This isn’t a joking situation, Remus!” You cry, “Do you remember what happened?”

“I remember being followed and then jumping in front of Sirius and then blinding pain. I passed out then, I think.”

Your hands grip the bedpost at the end of the bed, “Sirius brought you back here and we called in a Healer. You were hit with the Sectumsempra curse and your blood was everywhere, and I couldn’t stop it-” You break off suddenly; your words getting caught in your throat.

The sudden urge to run overwhelms you. Your eyes dart around the room – to the suitcases, to the wardrobes. A plan begins to form in your head; a few more days healing was all that Remus would require before he’s stable enough to apparate. You know of a place where you couldn’t be traced where he could spend a few weeks or so recuperating before you run for real.

The desire to leave it all behind takes over. In that moment, the only thing you could ever want is a longer life with the man lying on the bed in front of you. If this war continued, how long would you have? Optimism in this situation is vitally important but as your eyes return to Remus, running over the war-weary, pale face of the love of your life, all you want is to go.

To go and never look back.

“Run away with me,” You start, rushing to his side, hands framing his face, “It’ll be worth it.”

“Where would we go?” He asks, his eyes bright with possibilities.

“Anywhere – the country, the coast, abroad. Run away with me Remus, before the war swallows us whole.”

“What about the Order? Darling, we can’t leave them.”

“Fuck that, Remus. Look at yourself! You can barely move.” You stand, gesturing to the four walls in which you stand, “These last few days have been my own personal hell; I didn’t know if you were going to wake up. For the first time in my life, I have had to face a possibility of a life without you and I won’t do it. Not again. Run away with me, Remus.” Your eyes are wild as you plead to him, beg to him to consider doing this.

Remus’ eyes search yours, looking for what, you don’t know. You know the minute you’ve lost the battle, and you would be remaining where you are. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” You ask brokenly.

“You won’t leave Harry, love. You’re his godmother – you won’t let him face this war without you, you simply won’t.”

The tears that were previously lining your eyes now overflow onto your cheeks. You look at Remus through watery eyes, not bothering to stem the flow. “You can’t do this to me again, Remus. I will not live in a world that does not have you in it, do you understand?”

“I understand, darling.” Remus holds his hand out for you. You stumble over to him, desperate to touch some part of him. With a light tug, he has you sat next to him on the bed you share. “I’m here now,” he whispers, “I don’t plan on leaving for a long, long time.”

You sniffle, “Good. I didn’t like the look of my life without you.”

“What have I missed then; in the three days I’ve been asleep?”

You look at him, somewhat sheepishly, “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t left this room.”

Remus frowns at you. “Darling, please tell me you’ve eaten and taken care of yourself.”

“I’ve eaten a little, but I didn’t want to leave you and I didn’t want to let anyone look after you.”

“I really did scare you, didn’t I?”

You nod, “Beyond scare, Remus. I couldn’t think straight, I don’t think I’ve thought a coherent thought since Sirius appeared with you in the hall.”

He brings your entwined hands to his lips, pressing kiss after kiss to the back of your hand. “I am so sorry, my love.”

“You don’t need to apologise, Remus. You did nothing wrong.”

“Nevertheless. I am sorry, I didn’t think before throwing myself in front of Sirius, and I should have.”

“You were protecting your best friend.”

Remus shrugs, but winces at the stiffness in his joints, “I will not leave you like that again. The minute I’m out of this bed I’m speaking to Dumbledore, demanding lighter missions. I’m too fond of this life to leave it prematurely.”

Tears start anew as you lie next to the man you so dearly love. Gripping his hand in both of yours, you press it your chest, “I’m too fond of you to let you leave it prematurely.”

**************

General (HP) taglist: @the-hufflefluffwriter @obsessedwithrandomthings @kalimagik @summer-writes @lupins-sweater @slytherinprincess03 @mischiefsemimanaged @soleil-amaryllis @bforbroadway @masterofthedarkness @chaotic-fae-queen @peachesandpinks @nebulablakemurphy @haphazardhufflepuff @siriusly-addicted-to-writing @firewhisky-kisses @deafgirltingz @kylosleftbuttcheek @heloisedaphnebrightmore @harrypotter289 @sprvpti @accio-rogers @potterverseimagine @figlia--della--luna @angelinathebook @dreamer821

200 notes · View notes

inkandpen22 · 3 years

Text

Young Hearts Divided (9/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader / James Potter x reader (complicated)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.2k

Part Summary: As days go on, things between Sirius and James continue to be heated Y/N rushes out and learns something new from a friend.

Masterlist

This isn't what I wanted... none of this is how it should be. How could everything become so messed up in just a matter of days?

"Stop it!" I shout between the two of them.

James and Sirus press against my palms, ready to rip each other's heads off like madmen.

"James!" Lily pleads, wrapping her hand around the boy's wrist.

"Sirius!" Remus urges his friend to stop.

"You don't... you don't even love her, Mate," Sirius mutters to his best friend.

"How do you know?!" James jolts toward Sirius aggressively and causes me to stumble.

"Because I do!" Sirius yells over my head. "I have since I was eleven!"

"You say that yet you've done nothing but hook up with random girls since then!" James fires.

"You're one to talk!" Sirius snickers mockingly. "You're in love with a girl who will never love you back!"

"You asshole!" James charges at Sirius, completely ignoring the fact that I'm huddled between them.

I grow frustrated and hit my boiling point. All of this shouting and nonsense won't get us anywhere! There are bigger problems in the world to fix than teenage drama!

"James, just stop!" I shove the boy in the chest and right into our friends behind him. "When is enough going to be enough?" I argue.

He stares at me wide-eyed, along with the others.

"You know what," I toss my hands up in surrender. "I don't want to be around any of you right now. All of this is ridiculous!"

I step around James and the others move out of my way. I dart toward the door in hopes of getting far from here.

"Y/N!" James calls.

"Y/N, please wait!" Sirius follows suit. _____________________________ I stare at the stars as my legs dangle over the edge of the Astronomy Tower. This is my secret place, the place I run to when I need to getaway. There are only so many places in this castle where one could hide without any chance of being found. People often forget about the tower or are too afraid of heights.

"I figured you'd be here," Remus makes himself known behind me.

I stand corrected, Remus knows of this place.

"How do you know I'd be up here?" I question with slight annoyance.

"I'm observant," he shrugs casually as he approaches. "I may be the quiet one but that doesn't mean I don't listen. Plus-" he reveals the Marauders Map from his back pocket.

He settles down beside me, swinging his legs over the side as well.

"Do they think I'm some damsel in distress?" I grumble.

"No, they're just both very... very... stubborn," he emphasizes dramatically, making me giggle.

We sit for a moment, content in each other's company. Then, I release a sigh as the thoughts in my mind become deafening. "They're both perfect on paper... we all were when we were together. When did things get so complicated?"

"About when Sirius told James he liked you and that made James want you too," he answers wittily.

"Do you think James only likes me because Sirius does?"

"That and because he can't have Lily and you're her best friend. Next best thing... " He flinches slightly at his words, "sorry if that's harsh."

"No, it's fair enough," I assure him solemnly.

"So..." Remus drags out as he swings his lings back and forth over the edge of the platform. "What are you going to do?"

"Excellent question. I don't know. I was going to ask you for advice," I point out.

"You're asking me which one I think you should date? Between Sirius and James, my two best friends, two boys whom I've known since we were eleven," he chuckles with amusement. "I don't think I can answer, sorry."

"Maybe I should just drop them both and pine after you," I joke lightheartedly with one of my best friends. "You are calmer and more level-headed."

He snickers, a faint smile appearing across his lips. "Ha, if only you had said that to me when we were younger..."

"What do you mean?" I scrunch my brows in confusion.

"Oh, it's nothing... I may have fancied you for a little while is all," he stammers nervously.

"Oh, Remus I didn't-"

"I know you didn't... I never had the guts to tell you," he keeps up a playful exterior but I can tell it's hard for him to talk about.

"How long? When?"

"Two years..." he nods. "Childhood crushes you know..." he dismisses to play it casually. "Then, I found out Sirius liked you. The heartbreak wasn't followed by instant relief but eventually, I came to terms with the idea that you'd probably end up with him one day. It's gotten easier over the years. Then James comes along and says he's in love with you too and for a second I thought about tossing my name in there too, but there's no competing with those two."

Acting on impulse, I lean forward and plant a kiss on Remus's cheek. When I pull away, he looks at me wide-eyed.

He cups his cheek where I kissed him. "What was that for?"

"I do love you, Remus," I tell him. "I hope you know that."

"But not in that way I love you... and I understand," he nods in true understanding.

"Sirius had my heart before I even knew how to give it away," I explain to him guiltily.

"Funny how the world works sometimes huh? People say 'love is all it takes.' Yet, you can love someone wholeheartedly, and sometimes that's not enough. I'm happy we're friends though, I rather us be friends than not have you in my life at all." He swallows hard, finding it hard to meet my eyes. "It would be all the more painful," he mutters.

"There are so many different kinds of love," I tell him confidently, placing my hand over his interlocked ones on his lap. "The love I feel for you I don't share with Sirius and vice-versa. I'm not the one for you but one day you'll find them. At that moment, you will feel a much stronger love for them. You'll see them and just know!"

"Is that how you felt when you first saw Sirius," he questions, glancing at him with his peripheral vision.

I nod, "I knew he would play a major role in my life and be in it forever."

"Then you already know your answer," Remus mutters peering down at my hand over his.

He flips his hands over to take mine inside of both of his own. Gently, he brings it up to his lips and kisses the back of it as his eyes fall shut with a sharp squint of visible pain.

"You don't love James, at least not as much as you do Sirius," he advises calmly. "If you did, you wouldn't even give Sirius a second thought. Yet, you're always going back to him. That moment you felt when you first saw Sirius, did you feel it when you saw James? I bet if you asked James, he felt it when he saw Lily." He pauses to glance at me, finally meeting my gaze. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm looking forward to the day when I meet someone that lets me stop thinking about you," he smiles softly.

I share the same expression as I nod. "I regret not being the one to give it to you. It's truly my loss. You deserve all of the love in the world, Remus."

He wraps his around me and pulls me into a hug. I rest my cheek on his shoulder and feel so immensely overwhelmed by everything. I’m not sure how much more I can take in.

“Y/N!” A third party suddenly calls from the entrance below.

_______________

Masterlist

Tags: @hannah220506 @girlwholovescoffee @a-classic-eye @devilstradegy @blackbirddaredevil23 @blackbirddaredevil23 @tay-mariee @blackpinkdolan @findzelda @emilianamason @loonyslytherin

31 notes · View notes

with-love-anu · 4 years

Text

Charm me first

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader Summary: Your friends dare you to talk to the very infamous marauders group and you end up becoming good friends. Warnings: It’s just fluff, no warnings to give! Word Count: 1,792

It was the night. Your friends and you had a pact. Every Saturday, one member of the group would be challenged on a dare and the person had to do it. Today was your turn. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust your friends, they knew their limits and wouldn’t give something more intense than a laughable joke; nothing to embarrass someone. But that didn’t let you from worrying. Last time you were dared to make small talk with the bloody baron and laughs aside, it was not a good experience. Wouldn’t recommend.

“The weather’s nice, isn’t it? You asked the terrifying ghost as it floated through the corridor.

He looked at you as if you were an insect, scrutinizing you under his icy glare. You knew you must have then looked you were dead all color draining from your face. He raised an eyebrow pondering whether you would turn and flee or not. When you didn’t, he begrudgingly answered, “Yes” and floated away faster than ever.

You got ready and went down to the hogsmede with the rest of the school. You all sat in a comfortable corner at the Rosemeta’s. You fidgeted, your patience wavering more and more each second. Your friends all gave you mischievous smirks, having already discussed the dare. You all had a few butterbeers, feeling the warm tingling in your throat.

“So, you ready for your dare?” Ruuhaan said raising his bottle to the tip of his mouth.

You took in a deep breath. Were you?

“Yes” you said even though your brain screamed-“hell no.”

“Okay,” said Grace slowly. “See that rowdy Gryffindor group behind you?”

You widened your eyes not having to turn to guess who they were talking about. Ruuhaan snickered at your reaction. You slowly turned to see your guess was right. There they were, the center of attraction of every person enjoying at the pub. They looked like popular band. You had talked to Remus a couple of times in the library. He was… cute. James and Sirius however, were loud and full of mischief. Even though you'd never talked to them you were scared. You looked at Grace silently pleading her to tell you the awful thing you had to do, because if you would wait any longer you felt like you could burst. Grace smiled. Did she have to?

“You have to go there and flirt with all three of them. We want to see them charmed by you.” She winked.

You squeezed your eyes shut throwing your head up in frustration.

“You guys are the worst.” You said as you took a shot of firewhiskey and getting up. So, how were you going to play this?

“We love you too. We’ll come when we think you’ve done your job.” Ruuhaan said with a snort.

As you walked towards their table you felt a pleasant hum of the shot you just took.

“Hey boys!” you said in a flirty tone wincing at how it sounded.

The notorious group turned to face you and suddenly you lost all the confidence you had mustered up. You wet your lips and took a deep breath.

“Umm… You see my friends there at the back—don’t look! Yeah they gave me a dare to flirt with you and charm you? Can you please please just play along and act like I’m doing it?” You said looking at their expressions. Remus gave you a little smile and a nod of understanding while James barked out a laugh.

“No can do doll, looks like you would have to charm us.” Sirius said with a smug look on his face, eyes glinting. He said charm using his hands to emphasize on it and cocked an eyebrow daring you.

“That does seem fair.” James said with the same sparkle in his eyes. You huffed. So you had no other choice. You summoned a chair and popped down between James and Sirius. You put both your elbows on the table taking your face in your hands.

“Oh yeah?” you said in an amused tone.

Sirius smirked. James let out a little- “Yup” popping the p. Remus looked at you judging your every move. You wouldn’t be surprised if he knew how nervous you were. Mustering every bit of courage you had, you turned towards James giving him your best smile. If you couldn't flirt with them you could at least talk and not make a complete fool of yourself.

“So, James I heard you were practicing hell a lot for the next season of quidditch” you asked remembering how he was the captain.

He nodded, grinning.

“You wanna hear what I heard?” you asked cocking your eyebrow. James let out a little hum.

“Have you seen James training? He has such an amazing body! The way his muscles flex—oof!” You said in a high pitched tone imitating the girl in the washroom making James blush. Did you just make James Fleamont Potter blush?!?

“Well,” James said slowly taking a sip of the butterbeer. “I’m fit. Everyone in the team is. We have to be; to perform properly, to remain active. Let’s be honest, Hogwarts food is the best and you couldn’t help but eat the delicious treats way more than you require!”

“Shush you! Being modest! I can see what the girl was talking about!” you said eyeing him playfully. You tried your best not to make any of them uncomfortable. And the blushing grin that James gave you and the snorts by the others proved you were on the right track.

Conversation flowed freely after that. They were actually really nice to talk to. You flirted with Remus a bit, confessing how cute he always looked in those reading glasses and called him an adorable dork. James and you teased each other occasionally and you found he could make anyone laugh and at ease. As for Sirius, well you could say he was every bit of the playboy everyone deemed him to be. He never not flirted back and make you flush under his gaze.

“Doll,” Sirius said looking at you. “I must say I am glad your friends made you come here today. I would have stuck with your memory of being one the studious girls who never look up from their books.”

“You say that as if you like me now!” you teased.

“Oh but I do.” He said with so much honesty in his voice that it made you double take things. Right then, Ruuhaan came up behind you placing a hand over your shoulder.

“(Y/n), we are leaving”

“Yeah” you said nodding as you got up to leave.

“It was really nice to see you guys today” you said with a sincere smile.

And it was. You were secretly glad too that you talked to these three charming boys. Especially Sirius. You shook your head. You and him could never happen. He did not mean those things he was being nice. And you had to ignore the butterflies that tingled your stomach whenever he looked at you. You were pretty sure that was the last time you would ever have a one on one conversation with him. He was smart, funny and not to mention drop dead gorgeous. Almost everyone had a low-key crush on him and maybe you did too now. He was an amazing listner and you didn't think he would ever have the time to talk to you again.

But apparently life was full of surprises. Sirius would be there beside you almost every other day in the library, making efforts to talk to you. You couldn’t complain. Conversations with him were always very interesting and never failed to leave a smile on your face. He would help you with your studies knowing you get anxious over your grades.

As time passed on; you felt comfortable reaching out to him on your own. You two would be seen together talking about anything and everything. He told you about his family, making you wonder how could something as trivial as Hogwarts house or the purity of blood set someone off so much. Your heart ached for him. Sometimes you two would just sit quietly beside each other watching James practice quidditch. And maybe the silences you two shared said the most things. And the lame crush build on into so much more. You loved him. But you would be damned if you let it come between the two of you.

***

“What does he even see in her?” you heard shushed voices behind you. You were studying in the library.

“Oh come on! (Y/n) is not someone Sirius likes! He is just with her because he pities her!”

“Hmm… How could he be with someone like her!”

You gulped. You shouldn’t have overheard this. You knew they were some cranky mean students, but… did he really pity you?

“How’s my favorite girl doing?” Sirius asked as he plopped down beside you. You frowned.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her?” you said. You had seen how Sirius had stopped flirting around. But insecurity was like an insect crawling inside you making you disregard everything that was present just before your eyes. He never told you he liked you more than a friend. Maybe afterall it was just your thoughts.

“But I just did.” He said raising his eyebrows. You scoffed.

“I am so not your favorite girl!”

Sirius frowned.

“Hey!” he said making you turn towards him. “What is the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“No it’s not. Tell me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“I LIKE YOU, OKAY!” you shouted not able to take it anymore. “I just heard some students talking shit like you are with me because you pity me and I hate it. I like you and I can’t pretend any differently.”

“That’s good, ‘cause I like you too.” Sirius smirked, and then stopped looking at you.“I thought you knew!”

“No. No, I didn’t.” you said failing to keep the hope spreading across your face. “It doesn’t hurt to hear it.” You said in a small voice.

Sirius let out a laugh. He came forward placing his hands on the either side of your waist.

“Charm me first.” He said wriggling his eyebrows. You smirked.

“Sirius, the most handsome man to walk this planet; you’re sweet, charming and an absolute dork. You could make people smile and you help everyone without asking anything ever in return. And your laugh, your laugh is jus-“ you were cut off as Sirius pressed his lips to yours.

“You could just smile and I would be done for.” Sirius said making you blush.

Just then James came behind you both whistling, Remus near him having a look of a proud mom.

A/N: Let me know what you think!

#sirius #sirius black #siriusxreader #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #harry potter #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #my work #sirius imagine #sirius black imagine #harry potter imagine #Anu writes

375 notes · View notes

ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years

Text

This or That 6

Harry Potter Marauder AU

Link to chapter 5

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader. Sirius Black x Reader

Rating: M- smut

______

The next morning, James and Sirius were still angry over the whole Ambrosia kissing Regulus incident. Both boys waited for you to come down into the common room for breakfast. When you didn’t show, they shrugged and went down to the great hall alone.

“We have to do something.”

Sirius said, angrily. James gave his best friend a look before reaching out and grabbing Sirius’ arm.

“Can you not hit on her? She is having a hard enough time already.”

Sirius sighed.

“Look, Prongs. I get it. She wants Regulus. Y/n doesn’t want me...like that. I was going to apologize to her for being a massive dick to her too. She deserves that.”

James was clearly pleased.

“There’s my best friend! Why don’t you offer to go with her to Slughorn’s Christmas party tonight...as friends. Something tells me that she won’t be going with Reg.”

Sirius shook his head.

“I am not going to Slughorn's merry get together. I have a better idea. We’ll have a party. Just our circle. That will bring Y/n some joy. It's the people who care for her the most.”

James considered Sirius’ plan as they walked into the great hall.

“Great idea. Hey, Regulus is looking rough this morning. Let’s go spread joy.”

Sirius smirked at where his little brother sat with his group of idiot friends. Regulus definitely didn’t look happy. His face was sour as he kept glancing to the Gryffindor table for any sign of you.

“I like to spread joy.”

“You two aren’t spreading joy without me.”

Both Sirius and James turned as Remus ran up. Both boys were clearly pleased to see Remus running up to defend your honor.

“Moony, I was wondering where you were.”

Sirius said, happily. Remus nodded.

“I didn’t want Y/n dating him in the first place. I knew that this would be nothing short of a disaster.”

James elbowed Sirius.

“So about that spreading joy thing?”

The three boys wore matching smirks as they walked past the Slytherin table. Sirius was the first to stop. Regulus, Evan, and Ambrosia (who Sirius noted looked pretty depressed herself) all looked up at him.

“Bitch, jerk, and fruit salad. Hope you all are having a lovely day.”

It took all that James had not to break down with laughter over Sirius using Lily’s “special” nickname for Ambrosia. Regulus was on his feet with his wand out in less than three seconds. He was ready to hex his brother for even speaking to him that morning.

Evan reached up and tugged Regulus back down.

“He isn’t worth it.”

Evan said, sounding almost bored.

“You all are some mean little twats, you know that?”

James snapped. Remus quickly came in.

“I told my sister not to date you. I knew that you would just break her heart. It only took you two months. I was holding out for 5. Sirius disagreed. He said you wouldn’t make it 3.”

Regulus’ eyes had darkened as he glared at Remus.

“Go suck on a loafer, Lupin.”

Regulus didn’t curse much. That was another way that he and Sirius differed. Every other word out of Sirius’ mouth was a curse word. Regulus, on the other hand, didn’t curse. He considered it “beneath him.”

“Do you kiss my sister with that mouth? Oh wait, she just dumped you.”

James was about to make another joke at Regulus’ expense but before he could you walked up.

“That’s enough, boys.”

You said, calmly. As much as you didn’t want to, you met Regulus’ gaze. His face was screaming “I’m sorry” as he stood.

“We were just having some fun with these twat waffles.”

James said with a grin. He put an arm around you and smirked how instantly jealous Regulus appeared.

“Let’s go. They aren’t worth it.”

You said. Regulus finally remembered how to talk. You guessed he was struggling with words or trying to keep his raging temper in check.

“What about Slughorn’s party? You already have a dress.”

Regulus ignored the way Evan was smirking at him. Evan knew exactly what Regulus meant. Your mother and father spent a lot of money on that dress. It was money that your family didn’t have. This was yet another reason that Evan didn’t see you as a proper girlfriend for his best friend. Poor families didn’t have any business mingling with the upper class.

“I’m not going and definitely not with you.”

Your response was cruel and you knew it. However, you wanted to hurt Regulus as badly as he hurt you. You couldn’t help but wonder if he actually cared about you at all? You were hurt and irrational...misery truly loves company.

Boyfriends don't’ kiss other girls in front of their girlfriends…

Your mind supplied as Sirius grinned.

“I’ll go with you. I don’t really know any of those nerds except Evans and yourself but I’m free tonight.”

You internally smacked yourself in the head. Regulus was seething now! He pointed his wand right at Sirius and muttered a curse. Thankfully, Sirius was quick enough to repel the curse with an amused laugh.

“I’m not going to the party, thank you. Now let's go. This is getting out of hand.”

You grabbed a hold of Remus and Sirius’ arms before tugging them away with you. James smiled as if he had won some grand prize before following you to the Gryffindor table.

Lily and Marlene had been watching the spat from their places.

“We were waiting for someone to start hexing the other. Regulus lasted longer than expected.”

Marlene commented. You sat down in a huff. This was the last way that you wanted to spend your morning. You had all intentions of going to Regulus and ending things properly. If he wanted to kiss Ambrosia, he could have at it. So what if you were devastated? Clearly, your feelings didn’t matter to Regulus in the slightest. He couldn’t defend you against his stupid friends so why even bother with a relationship?

“The little git thought that she would still go to that party with him.”

James commented. Lily frowned.

“So, you’re not going now? Who will James and I talk to?”

You smiled at the offended expression on James' face.

“Each other, maybe?”

Sirius had kept his eye on his little brother who looked close to frustrated tears. This totally shocked Sirius. The last time that he had seen Regulus cry was when Orion was using the cruciatus curse on Sirius for breaking a window. Regulus was 8 years old at the time and sobbing in the doorway. Orion had yelled at Regulus telling him to suck it up. After that Regulus didn’t cry anymore. He just looked indifferent toward everything.

Maybe he actually does care about her?

Sirius thought, feeling a bit guilty about the earlier scene. He pulled himself from his thoughts and turned back to his friends.

“Better idea, instead of Slughorn's boring ass party, why don’t we all have one of our own. You know our inner circle?”

Lily shook her head.

“We have to go. These parties are a big deal. Slughorn will be devastated. Y/n just come with James and I. Yeah, it may be a little unorthodox but it can be fun.”

James nodded.

“I can dance with you both.”

You shook your head, giving them both a frown.

“Way to make me a third wheel.”

Sirius put his fork down and turned to you.

“Go with me.”

Sirius wasn’t surprised when you scooted away.

“Sirius, that is a horrible idea.”

He held his hands up defensively.

“We can go as friends. Y/n, I’m sorry. I know that I have been a real git myself to you. I know that you want Regulus and I’m okay with that. What I am not okay with is how he is treating you and how our friendship is going. We’ve been friends too damn long to let it go out like this.”

Sirius was relieved when you smiled.

“You’re right. We have been.”

You didn’t care about admitting that you missed your friendship with Sirius.

“That would be really nice. I would like that.”

It was cruel what you were doing. You knew that you turning up with Sirius would break Regulus’ heart. This would be Regulus having to face his worst fear...losing you to Sirius.

It really isn’t like that but it will appear that way.

Maybe Regulus would then see how you felt seeing Ambrosia kiss him. It was devastating!

That evening you sat as Marlene put the finishing touches on your makeup. She clasped her hands together before putting her makeup away.

“Y/n, you are so beautiful! It's no wonder that you have Sirius and Regulus fighting over you.”

You rolled your eyes.

“It isn’t as glamorous as it seems. Trust me.”

Lily walked in with a small box in her hands. She smiled before putting the box in your lap.

“This is from Regulus.”

Your mouth dropped as you quickly undid the cute little bow. What was Regulus thinking? Did he think that sending you some cheesy letter in a box was going to win you back?

“I wonder why he is sending me something?

You commented before reading the name on the box.

“Tiffanys?”

Marlene shrugged.

“Must be some kind of muggle brand? Seems kind of odd that Regulus went with a muggle brand seeing how he is.”

Lily’s mouth dropped as she scooted closer.

“Tiffanys if super expensive.”

Marlene nodded as it all began to click. Of course, Regulus would send you some over the top expensive gift. His family was good for it.

Your mouth dropped as you looked at the most beautiful pair of pearl earrings and a matching necklace that you had ever seen! This was the first piece of truly nice jewelry that you ever owned.

“Wow, these are beautiful. I can’t keep them though.”

Marlene jumped up.

“What are you talking about? Regulus wouldn’t have given them to you if he didn’t want you to have them?”

You sighed and closed the little box.

“He probably got them before yesterday and they just turned up. I can’t keep anything that expensive. Lily, tell Sirius that I am not going to the party. I have to get out of here.”

You ignored your friends pleading for you to come back as you dashed out of the common room.

Marlene sighed.

“Well, what do we do now.”

Lily silently thought for a moment before speaking.

“I’m going to get Regulus.”

(1 hour later)

You sat huddled in Moaning Myrtle's lavatory. Typically you would just sit by the window and look outside. Tonight, however, you didn’t even want Myrtle to talk to you. You went into one of the stalls and closed the door. Sinking down, you wanted nothing more than to spend the evening in tears.

The sound of the door opening and close made you stop. You couldn’t help but wonder who in the right mind was coming in here? Most people were scared to death of even crossing Myrtle so coming into her bathroom was insane.

You listened to the footsteps as they inched closer.

“Y/n?”

Your heart began to pound hearing Regulus’ voice. Putting a hand to your mouth, you choked back a sob that was still trying to go through you.

“Y/n, I know that you are in here. Lily told me so. I can also smell your perfume.”

You watched, from your place on the floor, as his feet stepped closer and closer. When the door tried to open and wouldn’t budge, he sighed. Regulus could see the outline of your body in the poorly lit room.

Regulus slowly sank to the floor on his knees.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I never meant to hurt you. Darling, I know that you probably don’t believe me but I had nothing to do with Ambrosia kissing me. I wouldn’t have done it to hurt you.”

When you didn’t reply, Regulus slowly sat down and leaned back against the door. This was not how he envisioned spending your last night together before the Christmas holiday. Regulus didn’t know what else to say. He had warned you that he was clueless when it came to being a boyfriend.

“I love you, Y/n. Ambrosia is jealous. I never cared for her as I do you.”

“You’re better off with her.”

You finally replied. Regulus frowned.

“Why would you say something like that?”

“Your friends won’t treat her like crap or a second class citizen. I’m always going to be that person and you won’t do anything about it. I want to be alone.”

Regulus could see your hand within inches of his. He slowly reached out and covered your hand with his.

“I was wrong to let them talk to you like that. It will not happen again. You make me happy...she doesn’t. She doesn’t make me feel loved as you do. Please come out. I don’t want to be alone again. I’ve felt alone my whole life. Sirius left me. I don’t want to lose you too.”

You turned your hand enough to feel Regulus’ palm against yours. Pressing your lips together, you fought back another urge to cry. This was the most that Regulus had opened up to you since that first day of being a couple. He was clearly trying. Putting his reserved closed-off nature to the side and letting you know what he was feeling said a lot.

Regulus, meanwhile, almost cried himself when your hand pulled away from his. The moment that he heard the door unlocking he jumped up. Maybe you were giving him a second chance?

The moment that you opened the door, it took all that he had not to pull you against him. Your pretty green eyes were puffy from crying and your make up was ruined but Regulus didn’t care. You were beyond lovely in the silver dress that you were wearing.

“Come here.”

Regulus said holding his arms out. You didn’t need to be told twice before throwing your arms around Regulus’ shoulders as he held you back. Snuggling your face into his shoulder, you didn’t want to let him go.

“I’m sorry, love. Please don’t hate me.”

Regulus’ voice was gentle as he did whatever he could to comfort you. After a few moments, you slowly looked up at him. Regulus appeared as devastated as you were. Now he reminded you of the sad boy that you had also noticed walking through the hallways. The boy whose parents never said that they loved him...the boy that you needed and who needed you.

“I don’t hate you.”

You said before pulling him down into a kiss. Regulus’ eyes instantly snapped closed as he deepened the kiss.

“I could kiss your lips forever.”

He said as his eyes fluttered open. The two of you stood nuzzling your noses against each other while simply enjoying the moment.

“Would you like to go to the room of requirement?”

You asked. Regulus’ opened his eyes.

“Are you sure you want to give up your virginity to me now? I figured that I would be grounded.”

You shook your head.

“Now is a perfect time.”

Regulus wrapped his hand around yours and quickly tugged you toward the bathroom door.

The two of you snuck through the hallways avoiding teachers and prefects. Regulus held the door to the room of requirement open before rushing in after you and casting a locking charm. The last thing that he wanted was for anyone to disturb the two of you.

Meanwhile, you were looking around the room with a smile. A bed was already waiting for the two of you. Regulus’ arms wrapped around you from behind.

“We don’t have to rush.”

He whispered, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“I’m ready.”

You said, hoping that you sounded as confident as you felt. Regulus reached up for the zipper on your dress and slowly pulled downward.

“You’re beautiful. Y/n, you’re the only girl that I want in my bed.”

Where his sudden surge of bravery came from...Regulus wasn’t sure. He had been dying to get his hands on you for ages. From the first kiss, he wanted you desperately but he couldn't ruin your first time due to him being a horny mess.

You stepped out of your dress as Regulus turned you in his arms. His eyes slowly rolled down your body. Suddenly, you felt very timid in front of him. You quickly pulled your hands in front of your bra-covered breasts. Regulus gently pulled you toward the bed and sat you on his lap.

“Don’t hide.”

He reached behind you and tugged on the bra’s clasp until it was undone. You let Regulus remove the lace fabric and toss it to the ground. He smiled the moment that your bare breasts were visible to him.

“May I touch you?”

You nodded frantically as Regulus rubbed his thumb over your nipple before reaching out, taking the sensitive bud into his mouth.

“Reggie.”

You sighed his name, stroking his curls. Regulus groaned and lifted his hips enough to press himself against your core. You had quickly become aware of how hard he was with each thrust.

“Let’s get the rest of these clothes off.”

Regulus said as he began tugging at his tie and the buttons of his shirt. You, reluctantly, climbed off of his lap so he could finish undressing.

“Go ahead and lay back.”

He said softly. That overwhelming sense of nervousness returned. You swallowed as you gazed at Regulus’ body.

How is that going to fit inside of me?

You thought, nervously. At the moment, you were thankful that Lily and Marlene had told you what to expect the first time.

It won’t feel great at first. Burns like hell...but it will start feeling nice quickly if Regulus knows what he’s doing.

Regulus grabbed his wand and pointed it to your stomach to mutter a quick contraceptive charm. His eyes were all over your body before biting his bottom lip.

“I want to take my sweet precious time and have you begging for it. Put your legs up and spread them a bit.”

You quickly did as you were told as Regulus took his place between your spread legs. He leaned down for a quick kiss then kissed his way down your body. You sighed with each kiss but froze as he reached your belly button.

“Regulus, what are you doing?”

His eyes rolled up with a wicked little grin. He stroked his finger over your folds sending you into a wiggling moan.

“I want to kiss you here.”

His right hand stroked over your thigh.

“And here...I want to put love bites all over those pretty thighs.”

Where this Regulus came from you weren’t sure. This Regulus was more than sure of himself. Maybe you owed Ambrosia a thank you after all?

Regulus’ lips were on your thighs as he flipped his shaggy hair over his shoulder. In the candlelight of the room, his eyes seemed two shades darker. You fought back little moans as he peppered your thighs with butterfly kisses before finally biting down.

“Oh, Merlin!”

You squeaked as he sucked harshly at the tender skin of your thighs. Regulus smirked as he leaned back admiring his work. As far as he was concerned, you were about to be marked up for the rest of forever.

His eyes drifted to your core. From where Regulus sat, he could see that you were already glistening wet.

“Can I kiss you here?”

He asked, this time he pressed on your clit firmly with his thumb. Your hips involuntarily bucked as you nodded. Regulus slowly lay down on his stomach to continue his game of butterfly kisses on your mound. When you sighed in frustration his tongue finally made contact. You could have come apart but what he was going alone.

“Don’t come.”

Regulus ordered. You spent the next few moments hyper-focused on the ball of tension that was building with each swipe of his tongue.

“Reggie, please.”

You gasped.

“Regulus.”

He snapped. You smiled at the bossy tone of his voice and reached for his hair. Twirling your fingers in the silky strands, you couldn't help it. You came. Regulus quickly put his mouth back to you and helped you through your orgasm.

“That was beautiful.”

Regulus said with a happy smirk of approval before rising up.

“I’m pushing in now...just the tip at first. This may sting.”

Regulus’ voice was strained as he adjusted himself to your opening and slowly pushed inside. The moment that your body clenched around him; Regulus froze. He leaned down to feverishly kiss you.

“I’m sorry.”

He cooed. You shook your head.

“Just do it, please.”

You said through gritted teeth as each inch of his body pushed further inside. The full feeling didn’t ease up for a good moment either.

“Regulus, please.”

You cried. Regulus’ eyes were clenched shut.

“I’m about to come. Give me a moment.”

The two of you remained in the same position for a moment before Regulus nodded and shoved all the way in. You cried out from underneath him. Regulus quickly leaned down to kiss you gently.

“It's over, sweetheart. Tell me when you want me to move.”

You waited a moment longer as your body adjusted before raising your hips.

“Now, please move.”

Regulus quickly pulled out and eased back in. With each snap of his hips, you were again falling further and further over the edge.

“Coming.”

Regulus groaned through gritted teeth before sending both of you over the edge. Neither Regulus nor yourself wanted to move for a few moments. You lay lazily twirling your fingers in his sweat-drenched hair.

“Just so you know I can last longer than five minutes.”

Regulus said with a lazy smile. You giggled.

“I don’t doubt you.”

Regulus was the first to pull away. He reached for his wand and quickly cleaned up the mess that he left inside of you.

“This was a lot better than Slughorn’s Christmas party.”

You nodded, yawning as Regulus curled up beside you.

“Totally.”

____

@iamashlynmarie

@fairywriter-oracle

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@summer-novak

@hankypranky

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@shitfaceddaniel

@stuckinsaudi1

@knight-of-gleefulness

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@emiwrites3reads

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@deanwherescas

@sprnaturallover

@mycuddlycorner

@wontlookaway

57 notes · View notes

halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

TLTNL- THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK

James came back down the stairs to find they were already trying to wrangle together some kind of answer for this 'weapon' that was clearly the big deal with keeping Harry in the dark, but no one was getting very far. Remus and Sirius kept breaking off to take shots at each other, and Harry kept giggling at every crack they made making Lily smile indulgently and occasionally throw her own witty retort in before someone tried to push them back on track. James remembered his promise to try and dig some answers out of his brother for the way he'd been acting regarding Molly in the last chapter, but suddenly he just couldn't bring himself to do it right now. James just leaned against the banister for a moment and watched them all, his two friends who would soon be so unrecognizable to him, his wife and now grown son and the fate hanging over their heads. The goosebumps erupting over his flesh as the chills traced him gave him a nice kick to jump in and force past that moment he never wanted to live without them.

Lily had to dig the book out from under the recliner where it had fallen and give it a toss at Sirius' face to cut him off for the last time, "you've said that three times now, no Sirius it is not Voldemort's plan to string together troll hairs for anything, now would you read."

Sirius pouted up at her and honestly considering sitting on the book just to force his point home, but honestly he really was just as curious to see the real answer so he flipped to the correct page while telling Lily how much potential she was wasting by cutting him off.

James didn't try to hide his pleased smile as he watched his brother treating Lily how he should have been treating Molly, at least he got to see the proper response once.

Mrs. Weasley followed them upstairs looking grim.

"That's ridiculous, she looks nothing like me," Sirius sniffed, enjoying for the moment being able to hold the book and make that joke so he could smirk at Harry's chuckle.

Demanding of all of them they go to bed at once, no talking.

Lily still couldn't stop a nasty scowl in place as Molly kept trying to baby those teenagers.

Then she added a bit more softly to Hermione that as Ginny was probably already asleep, Hermione should be extra quiet.

"If Ginny has actually gone to sleep, than we have drastically misjudged her," Remus rolled his eyes.

"And that's never happened before," Sirius sniffed.

"Right," Harry fought off a smile at the lot of them, Hermione easily coming to mind, but knowing they were joking regardless.

Fred muttered for his brothers ears that if Ginny was asleep and not waiting to pounce on Hermione, he was a Flobberworm.

"Well both us, and the twins can't be wrong, that is impossible," James smirked.

Harry and Ron wandered into their room and quickly got into bed after Ron threw some owl treats up for the birds, telling Harry that they didn't let them out every night as Dumbledore was worried the birds would make the area suspicious.

"And the paranoia levels are still rising," Sirius rolled his eyes at this display. So what if a few owls started hunting in the area, no one who spotted and cared could still get in, or honestly would think much of it as owls had a large hunting range.

Then Ron quickly bolted back out of bed, saying he'd forgotten to lock the door, then answering to Harry's confused look that this was needed because of Kreacher.

Sirius nodded to himself like that made absolutely perfect sense while Harry was still wondering if his friend and godfather were being a bit paranoid themselves now.

Ron told of his first night here, and how he'd woken up to the elf prowling around his room and how creepy it had been. Then he added in a softer voice what Harry reckoned?

Harry didn't need to ask what he meant.

"I'd be worried for your mental health if you did," Remus agreed.

Harry first told they hadn't said much that they couldn't have guessed.

"That's true," James pouted at the two like it was really all their fault. "What's gotten into you two? You should have started with that weapon the moment Molly was out of sight."

"I honestly have no defense for myself," Sirius sighed while Remus agreed.

All they'd really said was what they were trying to do to stop Voldemort, ignoring as always Ron's gasp at the name. Harry demanded when his friend was going to get over that? Ron just ignored him.

"Most people do for some reason," Lily rolled her eyes.

Neither could get much farther in the conversation when there was a CRACK and someone yelped in pain, while another someone hissed at Ron to keep his voice down before Mum came back.

"I'm fairly confident the crack was louder than the yelp of pain," Harry smirked, finding it utterly amusing not one person was surprised to hear the twins making a reappearance like this.

Ron snapped back they'd just Apparated onto his knees!

Fred defended it was harder in the dark.

Then one sank down onto Harry's bed, the other remaining on the edge of Ron's as George asked if they'd guessed it yet.

Harry confirmed he was talking about the weapon Sirius had mentioned.

"Actually, you referred to it as a weapon Harry," Lily corrected as she really thought it all through now. "Sirius just didn't correct you, which either means you guessed right-"

"or dead wrong," James finished for her as he really picked apart Sirius' word choice.

"All we really know is it's something he doesn't have this time," Remus huffed, "that doesn't really tell us anything."

Fred corrected it was more like he'd let it slip, no one had heard of that on the Extendable Ears.

Harry asked what it was, and George pointed out it could be anything. Ron asked if it could really be worse than the killing curse?

"I love that he's naïve enough to be asking that," James whispered mostly to himself while staring hard at his wife.

Fred suggested it could be something to kill loads of people at once.

"I really don't even think it's that kind of weapon," Lily shook her head. "It must be something he needs to get more power, and something to kill just isn't that hard to come by."

"Maybe there's another Philosopher's Stone out there?" Remus offered.

"He'd have no more use for that," James waved him off. "He can get himself plenty rich, and clearly he's already reached some level or immortality from not having died when he should have."

"It must be something that doesn't even exist yet," Sirius sighed, "otherwise we should know about it now."

Harry was starting to get a horrible feeling every time this was mentioned now, beads of sweat spreading across his brow and leaning in very close to his godfather. Before anyone could say anymore, he practically pleaded, "does it make you all feel better if I say I'm convinced right now I find out what it is, and we can move on?"

They all watched him with deep worry for a moment, it wasn't at all comforting that this topic was causing him so much pain just to be poked at and they suddenly decided they may not want to know if it involved that look on Harry's face without the memory to reinforce it. So Sirius gave Harry a reassuring pat and decided to do just that.

Ron suggested it involved torture as well as pain, but Harry corrected there couldn't be anymore more effective than the Cruciatus for that.

Sirius' voice hitched as he was forcefully reminded his little pup had lived through that experience.

Then George asked who they supposed had the thing now?

"Well I'd assume it was someone we trust, otherwise we wouldn't be worried about Voldemort getting it," Remus pointed out.

"Let's hope it's not being hidden at Hogwarts again," Lily huffed, clearly still bitter about that Stone.

Fred pointed out Dumbledore probably had it, while Ron asked at Hogwarts?

George agreed it made sense, that's where he hid the Philosopher's Stone.

"Hid is the wrong word, since apparently everyone in the world knew what and where it was seeing as Harry was implied to have supposed to figure that out on purpose," James rolled his eyes.

Ron protested the weapon was bigger than that Stone.

"Not necessarily," Sirius disagreed, still sometimes wishing Ron was here so that he could turn and say those kinds of things to him.

Fred disagreed size was no guarantee of power, look at Ginny.

They all laughed happily for that comparison, Lily hardest of all.

Harry asked what that meant, and he was happily treated to her experience in the Bat-Bogey Hex.

"Oh I remember that spell being mentioned," Sirius' eyes brightened at once, "I've been meaning to ask for ages, did you two ever ask Hermione to teach you that one?"

Harry's laughter doubled as he agreed she had indeed, though the two had honestly thought the incantation was her idea of a joke, but it had worked when they'd tried it. Seems Ginny had taken to it even more than her brother. Harry wondered who the Marauder's first victim would be on this new to them spell.

No one had time to say more when footsteps arrived on the stairs,

"That woman," Lily rolled her eyes with an honest touch of fondness as all of the boys exchanged an indulgent smile at that nostalgia.

and the twins vanished with another crack.

"Yes, I'm so sure Molly won't find that cracking noise suspicious," Remus snorted.

A few seconds later, they heard the floorboard creak outside their door; Mrs. Weasley was plainly listening to check whether or not they were talking.

"And what if they were?" James snapped at once. "What's she going to do then, come in and give them a spanking for staying up talking."

Harry wished he was playing off a joke, but the dangerous tone he still carried meant he wasn't cutting any slack for her, especially in regards to him.

Ron waited until her footsteps faded away again to mutter how she didn't trust them at all.

"Says the boys, doing exactly what they're not supposed to be doing," Sirius muttered for Harry alone, who was at least pleased to see a small smile on him. James threw the two a sour look for clearly trying to smother some humor.

Harry expected to lay up for hours thinking over everything, but before he knew it he could feel the day weighing on him, and he swore he could hear more footsteps on the stairs that actually sounded like a many-legged creature.

"Err, is Buckbeak there or something?" Remus asked.

"Actually that's a good question," Sirius suddenly looked a little concerned, "where is that hippogriff? I don't see why I would have kept him around for a whole year but then not have wanted to keep him, but that's not exactly a friendly place for the beast."

"I'm sure Buckbeak's fine," Harry soothed with a soft smile, he found it adorable how concerned Sirius was for the beast and had a sneaking suspicion Sirius would enjoy the answer.

Then Hagrid's voice was telling Harry what beauties they were!

"Oh, he's dreaming," James realized.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Sirius snorted without looking up, "here I thought Hagrid had snuck into the room to tell Harry this."

They'd be studying weapons this term, and Harry looked back just in time to see a horse like creature with a cannon for a head pointed right at him.

"That was probably one of the most normal dreams you've ever had," Lily giggled.

"It does make some sense as Hagrid's been known to let information slip before, so if he does know the answer to this mystery thing I'd put money Hagrid'll help you figure it out," Remus agreed.

Next thing he knew, he was waking up to daylight.

George's voice was already floating up the stairway about them hurrying up, that Doxy infestation was waiting, and she'd even found some Puffskeins.

"Fascinating," Sirius pouted, now honestly wishing he could hand over the book to Harry early or something, he had no want to read of this place even if it did give him some small pleasure to hear of the disrepair it was in. He resisted the impulse though, he'd forced himself to read through worse, that stupid house wasn't even so bad as other things.

In no time at all, Harry and Ron had joined the twins, Hermione, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley in the drawing room, all with their faces covered and holding little black bottles.

"I'm surprised she trusts them to be around such fearsome and dangerous creatures without having them all in bubblewrap," James huffed.

"I'm impressed you know what bubblewrap is," Lily tried to poke fun in favor of agreeing, at least trying to break out of her own bad mood at any mention of her.

James remained in a fuming silence, so Lily worked out for herself who must have introduced that to him.

The moment Molly caught sight of them, she instructed they do the same. She had some Doxycide on hand, but she'd rather not use it. This infestation was terrible, what that house-elf had been doing all these years was anyones guess.

"Seems without dear old Mum around, Kreacher takes the Black name to new levels with that house," Sirius sniffed in disgust. He did find it a bit odd, he'd have thought that vermin would keep the place as pristine as his favored Mistress had always wanted it, but he supposed without direction the old thing would circle into the useless state Sirius had always claimed he was. He could live with that.

Even with Hermione's face half concealed, Harry still saw her give Mrs. Weasley a look for that comment.

"Now that would be an interesting argument," Remus smirked at the thought.

She tried to defend how old Kreacher was, and how hard it must be for him to manage-

but she was cut off by Sirius arriving to tell her that Kreacher could manage wonders when he tried, while placing a bloodstained bag on a chair, clearly filled with dead rats.

"I think I found out what you're doing with Buckbeak," Remus blinked in surprise.

"Either that, or I'm fixing to get some really interesting revenge on Molly," Sirius agreed.

At the odd look Harry was giving the bag, Sirius explained those were for Buckbeak.

"Still okay with this," Sirius chuckled.

He'd just been upstairs feeding him in his mother's old room.

"There are so many ways I can laugh about this, I can't decide which to choose," James blinked spastically while Sirius chose outright joy and promptly fell back against his seat laughing so hard his face was turning red.

Lily watched his amusement fondly, but she was honestly a bit saddened by it as well. What had his mother done to him that would cause him to be so bitter and happy about this petty insult? She couldn't help her mind flicking back to Molly. If this is what Molly saw of Sirius from the beginning, she almost empathized with the woman who only saw the face of Sirius and his careless ways. She hadn't taken the time to get to know him, and really would just see the reckless man who thought of nothing but himself. It didn't excuse the way she'd spoken to him though, not by a long shot, so she forced herself to stop thinking about the matter.

He stepped farther into the room and examined the desk Molly had mentioned the night before, agreeing with her that it most likely did contain a boggart, but they should still wait for Moody.

She agreed that was the best course. Both were being formally cordial to each other, making it clear they were both still sore about last night's argument.

Sirius was trying to speak in a light way as well, he didn't want to get his friends yelling about her again, nor did he want to dwell on it himself.

No more could be said when the doorbell went off, and Sirius groaned he'd told them all to stop that as he sprinted out of sight.

"But who doesn't want to announce their arrival like that," Remus rolled his eyes.

Not a moment later and the loud shrieking of Mrs. Black could again be heard of all their dishonor, filthy half-breeds, and traitors!

Mrs. Weasley cut off that noise by asking Harry to close the door.

James was still so rankled he wanted to shoot something at Molly just for that tiny little thing.

Harry took his sweet time in closing the door shut, only just managing to hear Kingsley speaking below of Hestia relieving him from his shift and she was now in possession of Moody's Cloak, and Kingsley just wanted to drop off a report for Dumbledore.

Feeling Molly's eyes on his back,

Sirius sighed, and to redirect something he could feel coming, he instead threw out, "well someone's definitely still on guard duty over something, and they're hiding, why else would they need a cloak around?"

The others didn't disagree, but no one played along in speculating with him, Harry just because he had no more new information and an already building headache at the idea of this thing again.

Harry regretfully shut the door and turned back to see Molly flipping to the chapter on Doxys in Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household pests book.

"Why does she still have that?" Remus sputtered in disgust.

"The information is still right, even if he did steal it from someone else," Harry reminded.

"Did you never tell her, or Dumbledore never told anyone about him?" James asked as they hadn't heard anything about it otherwise.

"I never did," Harry shrugged, he hadn't taken much of an interest in Lockhart after he'd left school, though it did leave Harry wondering why he thought he might see him again.

The others hoped that at least Dumbledore had informed the public of that sham, preferably putting some kind of charges on Lockhart in the process for what he'd done.

She instructed that she had a bottle of antidote for the Doxy's if someone got bit, but she'd rather not need it, so they should all be careful

"Did Ron get bitten by anything last year?" Sirius randomly asked as he remembered his first three years. "I think a pattern got broke, and I'll be disappointed if it doesn't pick up again."

"Sirius, you were the last thing to bite Ron," Harry reminded sadly, causing Sirius to quickly decide to change the subject, as he had not forgotten that.

She stood and faced the curtains, and called on her command they would all start spraying and then dump the stunned creatures into the buckets.

"What's she going to do with them afterwards?" Harry asked.

"Probably toss them outside and let them find somewhere else to nest," Lily shrugged.

Harry only got one squirt before the swarm all came out, but everyone was a good enough shot to get them in the face, and soon the floor was littered with the tiny furry creatures. Mrs. Weasley managed to keep attention on both her own pests, and her kids as she instructed Fred to stop playing with them and stun it already.

"She won't even let them properly investigate what they're spraying? They could be trying to educate themselves on these little things," Sirius told with a wide eyed expression Harry was sure never fooled a single teacher.

Fred agreed at once and did indeed have the creature go limp, but the moment his mother turned her back he slipped it into his pocket with a wink at Harry.

"What is he doing though?" Lily asked in confusion, this had gone from playfully joking around to them clearly up to something.

"Fingers crossed Harry asks," James said eagerly.

George came over and whispered next to Harry they were going to use these things venom for their experimenting in their Skiving Snackboxes.

Remus at once tried to lean over and see what this new mischief was about, but Sirius just as quickly pushed his face back away and ducked protectively over the book to read on loudly at this already brilliant name, he had no doubts it would be followed up with some new invention of the twins he was going to love!

Both twins at once began, in low undertones so their mum still couldn't hear, that those were their newest inventions. A range of double ended sweets, the orange half left you vomiting so badly you had to be left for the Hospital Wing, while swallowing the purple half left you healthy as ever and free to go at your leisure.

Lily's mouth was hanging open by the end and Sirius just had to stop for a moment to marvel at this.

"That is, brilliant," Remus managed to get out first, blinking spastically as he thought through it. "I've never heard of that, yet the idea is so-"

"This is the best idea ever!" James shouted as he began bouncing in his spot. "My word how did we never come up with this? It's fantastic!"

Sirius didn't even look like he wanted to keep going, all the boys were clearly fixing to have a full blown chat about the ideas of this and what could have gone into such a thing while still praising the twins genius, so Lily had to clear her throat hard to keep them on track. Sirius did eagerly return though, he wanted to know more!

George sad that they weren't perfect yet, the testers were having trouble stopping vomiting long enough to get the purple half down.

"Testers?" James repeated with a grin, wondering which brother had befallen this trick first.

While Fred explained that the testers were sadly only them, they'd been taking turns on all the products. George had done the Fainting Fancies, both of them had tried the Nosebleed Nougat, while George inserted that their Mum thought they'd been dueling each other.

"A fair assumption, along with those banging noises I remember being mentioned coming from their rooms," Lily grinned indulgently. "Clearly this has been a long standing practice to try their material on each other."

Harry came to the conclusion their joke shop was still on then?

"I'd be insulted if it wasn't by this point," Remus' shoulders kept shaking he was trying to force himself to stay quiet enough through his laughter so Sirius wouldn't stop.

George agreed they hadn't got any premise yet, as of now it was a mail order service through the Daily Prophet.

"That's the best start they could ask for," James agreed at once. "Can't start too big, they still look to inexperienced. I've no doubts it's going swimmingly though!"

Fred swiftly added on it was all thanks to Harry, not that Mum still knew. She hadn't been reading the Prophet since it went off on him and Dumbledore.

This clearly didn't impress anyone but Harry, who found the gesture oddly nice, and a blessing as it saved him from hearing about another row that could land him and the twins in some very hot water.

Harry grinned at them, he still didn't regret giving them his thousand Galleons prize money from his Tournament last year, but he was also pleased Mrs. Weasley yet knew of his involvement in the twins future plans as she did not approve of this joke shop idea for her kids.

"And I still don't care," James said nastily.

"Dad," Harry groaned for the tone.

"Nope," he snapped back at once, not budging an inch.

"James, I'm still angry to, but don't antagonize him," Lily sighed to cut off Harry who really may have said something back.

James just rolled his eyes while Harry was still looking sadly at the pair of them.

They went back to help the others before anyone could grow suspicious, and the de-doxying took up the rest of the morning. By that time Mrs. Weasley moved to collapse into the nearest chair, and managed to sit on the bag of dead rats.

Most of them got a revengeful giggle out of that, the Marauders more than anything as they really were wondering if this emphasis Sirius had on killing rats of late had some not so subtle meaning.

The curtains now hung damp but pest free, at the foot of them was the pockets of the former occupants and some eggs they'd managed to find, which Fred, George, and Crookshanks were all eyeing curiously.

"They were shown to have grabbed at least two each by now," Remus raised a curious brow, "and I'm still not even sure what they think they're going to use Doxy venom for. It doesn't cause vomiting, so I'm sure they should be good."

"I'm positive they've been at it long enough they won't raise suspicion to their mother," Sirius assured.

"They might be using them for a new pill," James offered, "after all, if they've already got one almost out of the testing stages, then they're probably right on track with the next, maybe it'll cause some kind of fever since that's what doxy venom is known to do."

Molly was looking at the glass cabinets at the other side of the room and decided they'd clean out those after lunch, Harry could already spot a vile of what he was sure was blood.

"You would be correct," Sirius sighed, clearly not noticing more than anyone else Harry's sudden unease about those cabinets.

Then the doorbell rang, and Mrs. Weasley told them all firmly to stay upstairs, she'd bring the food up.

"Just put them all in a playpen and put up baby gates everywhere, I'm sure that'll hold them," James mocked.

She left the room, closing the door carefully behind her. At once, everyone dashed over to the window to look down on the doorstep. They could see the top of an unkempt gingery head and a stack of precariously balanced cauldrons.

"Glory that man has a death wish," Lily's brows began creeping into her hairline. "Dragging that stuff there, isn't that what he went to do instead of watching you? With Molly and Sirius already there and in bad moods."

"This could turn into a bloodbath," James agreed, though he didn't sound particularly concerned.

Hermione was stunned he was bringing all those cauldrons in.

Sirius suddenly paused with a stupid smirk in place, and Remus and James were already bracing themselves as Sirius turned to Harry and said, "hey pup, what does your best mate and those have in common?"

At Harry's blank look, Sirius continued on in the same breath, "they're both called Ron!"

It took a moment, Harry mouthed the word again to himself, then his eyes brightened and he laughed like Sirius had just made another pun about his own name.

The others were honestly beginning to wonder if Harry may be faking that to indulge Sirius, it couldn't really be that funny? Sirius clearly didn't care though as he kept reading cheerfully.

While Harry pointed out he was looking for a place to stash all those dodgy cauldrons.

"I'm sure Percy and his Cauldron Bottom report would just love to get his hands on this," Remus snorted.

Fred agreed their Mum was going to be ticked.

"Doesn't seem like she likes much of anything," James muttered.

Everyone crept to the door so that they could hear Sirius and Kingsley greeting him, while Fred suggested they should try and pop upstairs for the Extendable Ears, see if anything important was going on.

"Why would they want to?" Sirius had an odd smile in place as he was picturing the carnage to come. "Don't they get enough of their mum yelling? I'd think they'd enjoy from a distance her turning on someone else."

"They're not going to be discussing anything about the Order anytime soon, but better safe than sorry I suppose," Remus shrugged.

Before either could act on that, no sneaking device was needed, as the whole household could hear every word from Mrs. Weasley's voice.

"There it is," James nodded without surprise.

Shouting at the very top of her lungs that they were not running a hideout for stolen goods!

Fred inserted conversationally how he loved hearing her have a go at someone else, it made such a nice change,

"Is that all she's going to do though, shout?" Sirius pouted. "I really was hoping she'd do a bit more, like hex him."

"I'm sure that's where you'll step in," Remus chuckled.

He even opened the door a crack to let the noise filter better about how they had enough to be worrying about without him dragging illegal things through here!

"Again, even against his will, it is Sirius' place," James sniffed. "Don't see how she can say all that."

"You know you'd agree with her at the moment," Lily scolded softly, keeping her eyes on the book intently. "Stop being petty and listen."

James was still scowling but shut his trap.

George shook his head at the rest of the household letting her get her stride in, you had to head her off early otherwise she could go on for hours.

"Poor boys have learned that from experience," Remus winced for them.

When Mrs. Black began her own course of insults finally drowning out Molly, George tried to shut the door, only to have a house-elf shuffling into the room.

"Oh joy," Sirius' interest vanished at once as he realized the topic was getting switched off of yelling about Dung. He'd rather Harry snuck out now to keep watching what Molly did best, this one was going to be far worse.

He only wore a filthy rag around his saggy skin, and though bald, he had a large quantity of white hair sprouting from his ears along with bloodshot eyes, batlike ears, and the same snout like nose as the others elves hung from the wall outside.

He seemed to take no notice of those already in the room, and instead was muttering as if to himself in a deep, bullfrog's voice.

"Most elves act invisible actually," James told Harry, "that's how they're trained. It really isn't so odd this is the first one you're properly interacting with."

"Wouldn't have been my first choice," Sirius grumbled.

He was already on a tangent about Mundungus, which easily slid into repeating everything his Mistress portrait had been saying about how all of them were Mudbloods and werewolves and traitors amongst his precious dwelling.

Everyone was angry by the end of that rotten little speech, though all for entirely different reasons, at least Sirius didn't feel bad about how he was now reading as if speaking about his own mother and no one was going to tell him off for it, they all saw entirely why.

Fred cut off the spiel by saying hello to Kreacher, who spun around as if in surprise.

"Don't know why he bothered," Sirius grumbled, "he turns around and says it to their faces again anyways."

"I can't believe he really says all that," Lily sighed.

"Why do you think my mother preferred him over me?" Sirius reminded with a hard look. "I refused to say any of that, yet he went around saying it all the time."

He began apologizing to the young master that he had not seen him while bowing.

"Why'd he call him master?" Harry asked, his burning hatred of Kreacher still at the top with everyone else, completely ignoring any other feelings he might have for the thing.

"He is a pureblood," Remus reminded, "so he does it on instinct. It won't hold weight for anyone but Sirius though."

Then, still facing the carpet, he added perfectly audibly what a nasty little blood traitor of a brat he was.

George inserted they hadn't quite caught that last bit?

"Wish I didn't," James grumbled, he'd only met Kreacher in person once, and he'd never again laughed at thinking his friend exaggerated this thing.

Kreacher quickly said he'd said nothing else while giving a bow to George as well, and adding on not even the slightest bit in a lower tone what unnatural brats the two were.

"Those unnatural little beasts are the most brilliant thing that's ever existed," Remus scoffed, "so Kreacher clearly has no idea what true talent is."

Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not.

"I much prefer cursing him, but laughing in his face is a good start," Sirius agreed.

The elf straightened up, eyeing them all malevolently, and apparently convinced that they could not hear him as he continued to mutter.

Harry kept watching his Godfather curiously, like he was hoping he'd answer that, but Sirius decided the less he spoke about Kreacher, the less swear words that would be involved, so the less Lily would keep glaring at him.

His eyes next fell on Hermione, referring to her as a Mudblood

Sirius still despised having to say that, if there was one thing he'd punish Kreacher for saying outright it was that, stupid thing was lucky he wasn't in the room to hear that one.

standing there in this house, oh what his Mistress would say. Then his eyes spotted Harry, a new boy, and Kreacher wondered who he was.

"It's always nice to not be recognized," Harry grumbled as he still glared hatefully at the book for referring to his friend like that.

Hermione politely informed Kreacher of Harry's name, and Kreacher kept speaking entirely to himself out loud about how he would not even acknowledge that the Mudblood had spoken to him, oh what his mistress would say.

Sirius got all that out through gnashing his teeth in frustration, oh he had a very good idea what his Mum would say to Hermione, and Lily.

Ron and Ginny finally yelled at him not to call her that!

"Always love Ron's automatic defense of her," James smiled, "now Ginny's joined in."

"I think they've shared a room two summers in a row now," Lily reminded fondly, "I suppose they've grown a bit close."

Hermione tried to stop them, saying he wasn't in his right mind and didn't know what he was saying-

"I can not believe she's actually defending this thing," Sirius grumbled with disgust.

but was cut off by George saying she was kidding herself.

Kreacher's eyes were still on Harry as Fred asked what he was even doing in here, and the elves evasive answer was to say cleaning.

"So, were we meant to hear that, or is he talking to himself some more?" Harry asked.

"If he answers you without the insults, he's actually answering," Sirius huffed.

A new voice entered saying how much he believed that, and it was Sirius in the doorway. From behind him, the shouting had ceased, so Mrs. Weasley and Mundungus must have moved to the kitchen below.

"More like moved the body back to the gutter," Lily rolled her eyes.

Upon his arrival Kreacher took such a low bow his nose was flattened against the floor.

Sirius impatiently told him to stop that, and answer what he was really doing.

Kreacher insisted he was cleaning to serve the Noble House of Black-

While Sirius cut him off it was getting blacker every day with how filthy it was.

"There's my Padfoot!" James beamed upon hearing that.

"Can't believe it's taken you this long to play a joke on your name," Remus agreed affectionately.

Sirius didn't seem to pleased with himself for now, though the shock of his friends actually indulging him in doing this was more than enough to pull him into a slightly less bad mood.

Kreacher did not argue the point, it seemed, except to continue muttering about how ungrateful this master was who'd broken his mother's heart,

"Wasn't much of one to break," he inserted with a mutter.

while Sirius snapped his mother hadn't had one of those!

"Sirius, please don't parrot yourself," Lily groaned. "No one wants to hear that twice."

"Not my fault it was so true it deserved to be said twice," Sirius smirked.

Kreacher apparently agreed with him, before continuing to himself that this Master wasn't fit to wipe the slime from his mistress boots, oh how she'd hated him and what a disappointment he was-

Harry really felt a lot of sympathy towards Sirius more with every word he spoke. Had his mother really said all that to his face, repeatedly? Enough he said it again without much more care in his voice than of normally speaking about an elf he hated so much.

Sirius cut him off by demanding to know what he was doing in here? Trying to sneak something else out?

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Remus said deadpan, though they all looked to Harry in concern when he flinched at that for seemingly no reason.

Kreacher insisted he would move nothing from its proper placing, before uttering he would not let them destroy that tapestry.

"Don't know what he's bothering with," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I already know that things got another Permanent Sticking Charm on it."

"Do I want to know how you know that?" Lily asked with honest curiosity.

"Nope," he said simply, popping the p for emphasis.

Sirius was not surprised this was his current object, but dismissed he couldn't do such a thing as he was sure it had another Permanent Sticking Charm on it.

Sirius frowned uncertainly as he phrased it like that. The memory was clear as day in his own mind, but the idea it may have faded all together while he was in Azkaban was only one of the disturbing things he'd realized he'd soon be experiencing.

Then he told Kreacher to go away, and Kreacher actually could not disobey a direct order, so he had no choice but to slunk back out of the room still muttering the whole time about how he'd come back from Azkaban now order poor Kreacher around, and oh his poor mistress, what would she say if she saw the house like this?

"Several colorful things, quite centered around Kreacher, though I'm sure she'd find a way to throw my name in there even before I came back," Sirius rolled his eyes.

All these scum living in here, and the worst one probably a murderer,

"Wish he was," Remus muttered so only Sirius could here.

Sirius barked if the elf kept this up he would be, while slamming the door.

Hermione tried to tell him it was just because he didn't understand they could hear him.

"So that makes it alright for thinking it?" James demanded with a poisonous brow.

Sirius just said it was because he'd been alone to long, taking orders from that mad portrait, but he'd always been a foul little thing.

Hermione tried to persuade he should just set him free- but Sirius corrected it was too dangerous to the Order, he knew too much.

"Don't know what stopped me from doing it the second I walked in there though before this could start," Sirius huffed.

"I'm actually worried it would be the same reason Dumbledore's telling to keep you in there dear," Lily said tentatively, already feeling bad for him being in such a bad mood, but she had been wondering the same thing of him. "If you set him free of you, he'd immediately go running off to the next person in line who he thought should have him, like the Malfoy's. Do you really want Voldemort knowing you've been to your house recently, a place where you were looking into Headquarters."

Sirius' face flushed with frustration as he couldn't work a way to argue that point, but he still snapped back his other point, "that doesn't change how stupid it is to keep me in there all the time! We're in the exact same circumstance as last year, what's the sudden need to force me to stay in!"

Lily did not want to start an actual argument with him, and as he was near shouting at the end it was clearly headed that way, but she also was hoping that maybe someone explaining this to him would lessen his mood just a bit as she pointed out, "well no actually, the big difference is Voldemort is back now. You can't go back to those mountains, not with, him, knowing them just as well as you. Can't stay at Remus' place as he's more than likely being watched by Death Eaters as well just waiting for you to arrive."

"Doesn't mean I have to be there!" Sirius seethed, a vein starting to thump with frustration against his temple. "Pick any vacant house in London and I'd rather be there!"

"Would you really though?" Her voice kept growing quieter the louder his was getting. "Away from even those meetings that you'd rarely visit at that place, kept even further out of the loop, and so far away you couldn't get visitors or even help if it came to that."

Sirius was physically chewing on his tongue to stop himself shouting back at Lily that didn't make this right, but he seemed to have run out of comebacks for now as he turned back to the pages.

The others had watched the exchange with silent fascination, Remus in particular wondering if this had been the exact same way Dumbledore had handled Sirius into being there.

Besides, the shock would kill him.

"You don't have to say that with so much pleasure," Lily sighed, which Sirius blatantly ignored.

Sirius walked across the room to examine the tapestry Kreacher had been trying to protect. Harry followed him and found it covered the whole wall, at the very top it read The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, and just underneath that, Toujours pur.

"What does that translate to?" Harry asked cautiously, as Sirius still seemed likely to explode any second.

"Always Pure," James answered for him as Sirius was still trying to pretend the others weren't in the room.

Harry was examining the bottom few branches, and pointed out he couldn't find Sirius' name.

Sirius agreed he was that blackened spot where his mum had blasted him off after he'd run away from home, Kreacher loved telling that story.

James still winced as he remembered how his brother had turned up that night. Harry was dying to ask for details, but Sirius was still in such a foul mood he wasn't sure if he'd get it or continue being ignored.

Harry was stunned he'd done such a thing, while Sirius agreed he'd made a run to James place, his parents, Harry's grandparents, had adopted Sirius for a time after that. Then he'd struck out on his own when he hit seventeen. His Uncle Alphard had left him with a decent amount of money, probably why he wasn't on here anymore either. He'd always been invited back to Sunday lunch with Mr. and Mrs. Potter though.

James and Sirius both winced at the reminder while Lily placed her hand lovingly over her husbands. James' parents had only passed away the previous year from Dragon Pox, and it was still sharp to both boys. They hadn't even lived long enough to meet their only grandchild. Lily was still happy James had never suggested giving their son his father's name, it would have been too hard to tell him no.

Harry asked why he'd left?

Sirius ran his hands bitterly through his unkempt hair.

"Thought that was obvious," Sirius sniffed which sounded a bit more watery than he meant it to.

Remus couldn't even bring himself to break the tension with a joke about Sirius' vanity, it was still a horrid reminder Sirius didn't even come close to keeping his appearances up like he did now, their Padfoot would never let his hair get anywhere near unkempt.

He answered briskly it was because he hated the lot of them, and his idiot, soft headed brother who'd gone along. He jabbed at a date, of both birth followed closely by a death marked some years previously.

Sirius felt something just wilt inside him at the news that his brother wasn't even alive. Or at least, he wouldn't be in a very short time, as it was nearing the end of October now. He wasn't even sure why he was so surprised, he'd told that little idiot the day he'd found out he was going to join the Death Eater's he'd meet a fast end, and Regulus had just laughed him off. That had been the last time Sirius had seen his brother...and now Sirius realized he wasn't going to see him again.

"Sirius?" James whispered softly, not really sure if he even wanted to get his attention, but willing to do anything to get rid of that blank look on his brother's face.

Sirius shook himself, blinking several times before he put up a smile no one believed. He tisked and put as much carelessness in his voice as he could muster, which wasn't much even to his own ears, "why should I care? Told him this was going to happen, and he told me to f' off. S'not like I care," he finished with a mutinous huff, clearly failing at believing that himself as much as he was trying to convince the others.

Sirius explained such a short life had happened because he'd joined the Death Eaters.

Harry was stunned at the news, but Sirius said he'd seen it coming. His parents, and many others, and thought Voldemort had the right idea with his pureblood supremacy and found their youngest a hero for joining up.

Sirius still managed to read that with a burning hatred that he'd yet had the pleasure of turning on his parents, but now he would be very, very soon. Those idiots had gotten his little brother killed by convincing him it was a good idea to do this, filling his head with lies from the age he was born. Of course it was his own fault as well, weak willed little shit he was who'd never bothered telling their parents no, or anyone for that matter.

Sirius was becoming so twitchy at this topic that he was beginning to fall under the threat of tearing pages out, but he was also clearly refusing to hand the book over as well.

Harry asked if he'd been killed an Auror?

Sirius corrected by Voldemort,

Sirius heard someone choking in shock for that news, but he continued reading on loudly over whoever so that he could hope for more, his mind just couldn't grasp the little idiot earning that pleasure.

or more likely a subordinate of his, Regulus couldn't have gotten in that far. Apparently he'd joined up, but then gotten cold feet over what he was being told to do and tried to run. That didn't work of course, you promised a lifetime of servitude under that rule.

Mrs. Weasley's voice cut in announcing lunch.

Sirius couldn't force himself to keep going for a moment, just sitting there in a stupor as he realized, he'd done it. His brother had actually tried to take a step back, out, to leave all that. Where the hell had he been when this was happening? What if Regulus had tried to reach out to him, right now, would he listen? His instant answer was yes of course, but this was now knowing that he'd got killed for clearly trying. Yesterday, before he'd heard this from his own mouth? Perhaps not, as he'd just think it was some ploy.

He was almost grateful when Remus cut into his train of thought by demanding, "Sirius, how on Earth would you know that?"

Sirius had to blink a few times, and shook his head to clear it as he muttered, "no clue. I certainly never heard of this now. Maybe I really did go looking him up after I got out of, well after. Trying to think of someone I'd trust to both know this and I'd ask, and maybe it was from Andromeda."

"That makes sense," James agreed fairly. "You've mentioned she still stays in touch with her sisters, Narcissa anyways, and I'll bet they've said something about this and maybe you ask her."

Sirius wasn't as keen on the idea, as Andromeda's contact with her sisters was the reason Sirius didn't go around seeing her much. He was never sure how much he could entirely trust her, as he absolutely did not trust Narcissa at all, but Andromeda still sent frequent owls to her favorite sister. Sirius had no clue if Lucius even knew about it, he'd asked and Andromeda had always said Cissy had never exclusively said anything about it. Still, the woman had stayed married to a Muggle-born and had one hell of a daughter, so Sirius did hope he'd get back in contact with his favorite cousin, and he guessed he could still count on her for some kind of information about his little brother.

She came in holding a tray of sandwiches for them all, but neither Sirius or Harry took notice as Sirius kept examining the lines and pointing out a few, like Araminta Meliflua, who'd tried to pass a bill in the Ministry making Muggle-hunting legal.

"Lovely," Lily squished up her face in disgust while her husband moved a few inches closer to her.

and dear Aunt Elladora, she'd started the family tradition of beheading house-elves when they got too old to carry tea trays.

"I still don't understand sticking them up on a wall," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Trophies of how many generations the house has carried," Sirius said without any of his usual mocking, or voice imitation, or anything to really show he even realized he'd answered. His eyes were still vacant.

Of course anyone who'd shown a shred of humanity was blasted away. Like Tonks wasn't on here, that's probably why Kreacher wouldn't listen to her.

"It can't just be the tapestry though," James disagreed, "otherwise he wouldn't take Orders from you as well."

"Guess it is marginally more specific than that," Sirius agreed restlessly, his thoughts still on a brother he'd disowned and was now bitterly regretting. "It has to be my surname or nothing, unless he so chooses."

At Harry's surprise, Sirius explained the relationship that Andromeda, Tonks' mother, was his favorite cousin. She'd gone off and married a Muggle-born named Ted, so bam!

Bellatrix and Narcissa, her sisters, had both married respectable pure-bloods.

Sirius wondered what Andromeda had been thinking while he'd been accused those twelve years of his crime. Had she believed he'd been fooling everyone as well? Or had his years in showing his approval of her husband kept her convinced and she just hadn't been able to do anything for him? Neither answer was comforting, as he still couldn't forget the one person who had believed it all, and Remus should know him better than anyone.

Sirius aimed to where their names swirled off, and Harry was shocked to find Draco Malfoy's name on there.

"Because I always love that reminder," Sirius sneered.

"Does that magically update itself, or were your parents alive to add that?" Harry asked.

"Magically," Sirius replied.

Sirius agreed all pure-bloods were some kind of interrelated.

"Reminding me that I'm technically related to him as well," Harry groaned.

"About as much as I am, and I don't even make the list," James said with chipper. "Potters got labeled as blood traitors way back when all of this nasty business was still being developed, so we hardly even get recognized at it, yet we still manage a pureblood lineage. I still claim it's by accident more than anything."

He was in fact related to the Weasley's as well, but Harry would never find them on here, their whole line was nothing but blood traitors.

James couldn't help a little wince though Sirius hadn't used him as an example. He supposed it was easier, them being right there in the room, but he also wondered if it didn't have more to do with the face it must hurt Sirius something terrible to still say his name.

Harry had turned attention to the last, and oldest sister Bellatrix Black.

Harry felt a nasty, creeping feeling rising up inside of him at Sirius mentioning her.

It was connected to Rodolphus Lestrange, and Harry repeated the surname, wondering why it stirred at his memories?

"Voldemort mentioned them," Remus quietly reminded, causing Harry to wince but acknowledge with a nod that must be where this bad feeling was coming from. They were still in Azkaban, obviously he had no connection to her.

Sirius agreed her, her husband and his brother were all dragged in with Barty Crouch junior and had all been on trial and were now in Azkaban.

"Oh wow," James blinked in surprise. "Didn't even occur to me that was her, though it does explain the nutjob qualities of that woman."

Sirius wished he could join along, mock back the situation, but he really was finding it harder with every line to pretend enthusiasm at this topic of his heritage.

Harry realized that's where he knew her from, the proud woman who'd shouted from Dumbledore's Pensive that she would be rewarded by Voldemort for her loyalty.

"That's not where you remember her name from, they didn't mention any of them by name in that," Lily gently reminded.

"I just put them together like that," Harry agreed.

Harry began to ask why he'd never mentioned any of this, and Sirius snapped back why would he? These weren't his family!

'No, they're all dead,' Sirius hated the nasty little thought that flitted through his mind, but then he glanced to either side of him and amended, 'not all of them.'

He hadn't seen any of these people in years, unless you counted watching a few get dragged past his own bars in Azkaban.

Sirius still hated the hitch that tore through his throat as he was once again reminded of that, it seemed to manage to hurt worse every single time, though not nearly as bad as watching those around him flinch because of it.

Harry began to apologize for bringing all this up, but Sirius waved that off and instead apologized for snapping. He just hated being back here, never thought he'd be stuck in this place again remembering it all.

Harry completely understood that. He could imagine he'd be the same way if he was forced to live back in Private Drive for an unknown amount of time.

Lily felt like she'd been smacked in the face for ever suggesting it was a good idea for Sirius to be in there now. Safety reasons be damned if Harry comparing his life to how Sirius' must look in that moment, and his tone completely agreed with Harry's comparison. She'd vouch for him living at Hogwarts in the boys dormitory then. "Sirius, I'm so sorry, I never should have said it was any good for you to be there, I just-"

"It's alright Lils," he grunted, though he did meet her eyes so he clearly wasn't really that mad still. "I was more pissed I couldn't think of anything to argue back, probably can't with Dumbledore either which is probably why it's working."

Lily flushed, she didn't want to be compared to Dumbledore right now as angry as she was with him. She still wanted to tell him of her idea he just stay at Hogwarts, but Sirius seemed to find that conversation done as he kept going.

Besides, the place really was ideal for headquarters. His father had put every magical protection on this place that existed, and then Dumbledore had added a few of his own on top of the Fidelius Charm. With him being Secret Keeper, no one could get in that Dumbledore didn't know about.*

"Wait, he can do that?" Remus's face puckered in confusion.

"That doesn't make any sense," Lily agreed uneasily, suddenly tense in her husband's arms of all that this made them wonder. "If the person can be Secret Keeper, then why weren't James or I just one? I was going off the assumption you couldn't live at the house to be one, no offense Sirius love," she quickly added.

Sirius waved that off, he completely agreed, but he couldn't unlock his jaw to any more than scowl hatefully into the fireplace for the reminder of this.

"Maybe this time they just had more time to test the idea and figure this out," Harry offered uneasily, he could already tell they all just wanted to move on from this topic, but it was a good question, and one that he'd been wondering himself. "When you two used it for the first time, you did say Mum it was a lost spell Dumbledore must have come across and put up spur of the moment. Didn't have time to test the idea past well, using the first volunteer or-" he broke off as he couldn't play this off anymore or ignore the building growl coming from all the boys.

Sirius got the gist of Harry's idea, and it did make sense, so he forced himself to keep reading loudly before he started digging a hole in Lily's carpet to get out of here.

He promised he could bare it a bit more if he could just get out once in awhile. He'd asked Dumbledore if he could escort Harry to his hearing for some moral support, as Snuffles obviously.

"I wish you wouldn't," James hated having to say it while Sirius was looking to his breaking point any second now, as literally every topic he hated hearing had all come up in this one chapter! Throw in some mentions of dementors and Snape and he'd hit the jackpot. Still, that didn't stop him reminding, "there are enchantments all over that place to stop people from concealing themselves inside there Pads, you know that. We've never tested the idea an Animagus can get through there unchecked."

"Maybe we should," Sirius insisted, his eyes too bright, but just wanting to think of anything good for a moment, and being there for Harry was certainly one of them. "Send in McGonagall first, have her scope out the place as a tabby with Dumbledore, or some other member of the Order for some cock n bull reason like-"

"You're assuming she's in the Order," Remus reminded, "she's not this time around, though Dumbledore trusts her. What makes you think she is the second time?"

Sirius sat there stumped for a moment, then finally snapped and barked at him, "can't I just have one good idea for one second!"

Remus raised his hands in surrender while Sirius turned fumingly back to the pages.

Harry felt like he'd just sunk into the earth below. He hadn't had to think of his upcoming hearing while he'd been here, but now he realized as he looked back at his friends he very well may not be going back with them to school.

Sirius understood at once, and promised Harry he'd be cleared, there was definitely something in the laws about how he was allowed to save his own life in those circumstances.

"Look Lily, some of what you say does get through to him," James forced a smile none of them felt, when were they going to leave this house already? Sirius acting like this was really dragging them all down.

Harry ignored that, and instead turned pleadingly to his godfather that if he was expelled, could he come live here with him?

Sirius just gave a sad smile.

Harry persisted he would feel at least a little better knowing he had some other options than going back to the Dursleys'.

Sirius looked around glumly as he said how bad they must be to prefer this place.

"I have no idea," Sirius informed his future self, even if he did have an odd look in place for doing so.

Mrs. Weasley called over to the two to come get some food before it was all gone.

"Yes, how dare they have a private moment," James sneered.

"How does she keep managing to have the worst timing," Remus agreed with him, "one more second, and Sirius would have asked for details about that!"

The two did indeed join the others, and then began tackling the glass cabinets now accompanied by Sirius. He paid for it by getting bit by a snuffbox, and then his hand developed a tough brown scaly glove appearance.

"Wartcap powder," Lily quietly told Harry before he could ask, "used in a lot of fire protection potions."

He fixed it with a tap of his wand, explaining to them it was just Wartcap powder before throwing it in the bin. Harry saw George sneak that into his pocket next.

"I can see why they'd have a use for that," Remus smiled to himself, "I'm convinced they must have set a few accidental fires in their time, and that's not particularly easy to come by."

More assortments of things included a tweezer that tried to stab Harry until it was smashed with a book, a music box that made them all drowsy until Ginny snapped the lid shut,

Lily shivered at the idea of that thing, and managing to find it extra fascinating Ginny had been the one to fight off such a thing. Guess the poor girl must have an extra sense now of things trying to charm her into submission.

a heavy locket that none of them could open,

The moment Sirius read that, Harry felt such a huge wave of nausea and vertigo, he actually momentarily blacked out. He came back peering at the book in shock, his hand pressed hard to his temple as he tried to understand where that had come from. The last time he'd felt something so powerful, was when he'd heard about Ginny's diary...but what did this have to do with that? He wondered if he was finally cracking, if his memories were just getting so disjointed that he could no longer separate what he was hearing now and what he may be feeling in the future. He refused to linger on it, waving off everyone's concern and promising he wasn't pushing at anything as he insisted Sirius just go on.

and an Order of Merlin, First Class, labeled to Sirius' grandfather for 'services to the Ministry.'

Sirius took one contemptuous look at it, and said it meant he'd given a lot of gold to people before giving it a toss into a rubbish sack as well.

Harry suddenly didn't think of that award in the same way if it really could be handed out all willy nilly like that.

Kreacher made a few more appearances, always near the trash pile and trying to sneak things back away, finally bursting into tears when Sirius wrenched a ring from him. He fled the room calling Sirius things Harry had never heard of before.

"He had a real talent for that at least," Sirius agreed with any resemblance of fondness he was positive he could ever foster for that thing. "Taught me most of my vocabulary."

"Great, now I dislike him as much as you," Lily rolled her eyes.

Sirius replaced it back with the pile while explaining that had been his fathers. Kreacher hadn't been quite as fond of him as Mrs. Black, but Sirius had still caught Kreacher snogging some of his old trousers last week.

"Fascinating to walk in on I'm sure," Remus tried for a genuine smile.

Mrs. Weasley kept them all hard at work in the room until finally the only undesirable thing left was that tapestry, which indeed would come off no more easily than the portraits below, and the still rattling desk as Moody had yet to come by.

They moved downstairs into the ground floor dining room, where Ron vacated the area for a while as he needed a spot of tea after some spiders the size of dinner plates could be spotted in the banisters.

"Well sometimes you manage to mess up the first pot, and it becomes a real hassle to hunt down another, I really can see him taking some time," James agreed fairly, not one of them held any humor for that, not after Aragog.

Snape may have referred to their work as just 'cleaning', but in Harry's opinion they were really waging war on the house, which was putting up a very good fight, aided and abetted by Kreacher.

Harry had many times believed and thought that Hogwarts felt like a living presence to him, but he wasn't as happy to be thinking the same about this old place.

Sirius had quickly grown tired of simply telling him to leave the room, and at one point threatened him with clothes. Kreacher just fixed him with a nasty smile and reminded, apparently only to himself, that his master would do no such thing as Kreacher knew what they were up to, plotting against the Dark Lord with Mudblood, traitors and scum.

Sirius finally lost his temper and actually threw him from the room.

"Sirius!" Lily tried to groan in rebuke, but it came out more as a sigh of acceptance she just couldn't fight him on this.

"Wish I could do that to everyone who calls my friends and family that," he replied easily.

The door continued going off several times a day, several Order members coming and going. Harry had spotted Snape a few times, though thankfully he'd never had to come face to face with him.

"There's a relief," James groaned, he had to stand that guy enough at school, no need to add to his ever growing list outside of the place.

Harry also caught sight of Professor McGonagall, and she also seemed too busy to linger.

"Ha!" Sirius barked as he waved a triumphant finger into Moony's face.

Remus took the prod in the nose from that with acceptance, though he did still wonder what the difference was in Dumbledore including her that time but not now. Though maybe she was a member now, in deep secret that they didn't even know about. He couldn't imagine what the motive for that would be, but he wouldn't be surprised if there were secret Order members they didn't know about either.

Sometimes the visitors did stay to help, like the memorable night Tonks had come around and helped them with a murderous ghoul in a toilet. Lupin came and went frequently, apparently staying at this place with Sirius but leaving for extended times to do unspoken work for the Order.

Remus winced, but no one looked very surprised except Harry. He was dying to ask just what this 'work' was, but even judging from how pale he'd gone now and a look he'd grown accustomed to seeing over them all at any mention of his lycanthropy, Harry thought he had a pretty good guess, so why bother him over it for details.

He'd been the only one able to repair a grandfather clock that had developed the unpleasant habit of shooting heavy bolts at passers-by.

"How could you not want to keep that feature?" Remus asked in a too high voice that James and Sirius still managed to smile at nonetheless.

Mundungus redeemed himself slightly in Mrs. Weasley's eyes by rescuing Ron from an ancient set of purple robes that had tried to strangle him when he removed them from their wardrobe.

"Well so long as he has his uses," Lily murmured approvingly, hoping this would help Molly to lighten up all around now that she saw there was more than one side to everyone. She really was hoping to hear of a make up between her and Sirius before Harry went back to school, an apology really was in order for Sirius.

Despite the fact that he was still sleeping badly, still having dreams about corridors and locked doors that made his scar prickle,

Harry rubbed furiously at his scar now as he gazed blearily around in confusion, still trying to resist word vomit anytime that place was mentioned even if his scar wasn't paining him now.

The others dearly wanted to speculate on this now. At first it had made sense in the dreamscape of his trapped feelings at Private Drive, but now? They supposed he could be feeling trapped and suppressed by that hearing, so the recurring dream would stay, but none of them liked how Harry kept reacting to it like it should mean more.

Harry was managing to have fun for the first time all summer. So long as he kept busy, he was happy, but in those moments at night where he was left alone, he was forced to realize some unseen Ministry person forbidding him returning to Hogwarts, snapping his wand.

"They can't," Sirius's voice broke on that though, and he couldn't pretend to keep going. There was a lot of things lately the Ministry supposedly couldn't do, and yet had been doing. It whipped them all terribly they couldn't be of any comfort to Harry about this, but Harry still didn't look nearly as worried about this as he just had about that locked corridor nonsense, so they tried to console themselves if this had happened, he'd be a lot more panicky about this.

The only small light he had was that he would not be left back at the Dursleys forever, he would come back here with Sirius.

"I'm positive you give the place a brighter charm pup, even though that's not a needed option," Sirius put more enthusiasm into that than he had this whole book so far, managing to make Harry smile up at him for real.

The night before the dreaded thing, he felt like a brick was smashing down on him as Mrs. Weasley told that she'd already ironed his best clothes, and she wanted his hair to have a good wash before he left in the morning. A good first impression did wonders.

"Well she's not wrong," Lily muttered petulantly, still not entirely happy with agreeing about anything with her, even universal advice.

Harry asked how he was getting there, and Arthur piped up Harry was coming with him to work.

Harry turned curios eyes to Sirius, but Molly was already answering that Dumbledore had said it was not a good idea for Sirius to be coming along.

"Since when do I pass every solitary action by that man," Sirius ground out in frustration. "What, am I supposed to start telling him when I use the loo? Would he like to know my regular schedule of how often I-"

"Padfoot, considering how well I know you, please don't finish that," Remus finished almost pleadingly, while Sirius harrumphed but kept going on testily.

Sirius bitingly cut her off how much he agreed this was a good idea.

"Run that by me again, I don't think I quite bought the sincerity of that," James sighed.

Harry asked when Dumbledore had been here to say this, and Arthur said just last night when Harry was asleep.

"He couldn't have woken me up?" Harry yipped in protest.

"Apparently you were too busy, must have been in a private meeting of your own," Sirius stated just to agitate Moony who refused to look over at him. Sirius just grumbled when he got no reaction and finished.

Sirius viciously stabbed a potato without further comment. Harry turned with even more worry and depression back to his own plate, unable to understand how Dumbledore had been in this very house and hadn't bothered to come speak to him. He hadn't realized he could feel worse until now.

"Chapter's over," Sirius groaned as he thrusted the book into Harry's lap. "By the way, I completely agree, the man's behaving like a wanker towards you, not bothering to once come by and hear your side."

"You can't have it both ways Sirius," Remus sighed. "You can't go complaining one minute he's too involved in Harry's life, and then say you're annoyed he hasn't checked up on Harry when the man would know Harry's fine."

"There's a difference and you know it," Sirius snapped back, but Harry was already flipping to the next chapter to avoid an argument, even if he was on Sirius' side.

HPHPHP

*Oops, ignore my earlier * back in chapter four, my brain completely skipped the fact that this was mentioned right here, so hope you enjoyed that.

#The LIfe that Never LIved #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #hp #Ootp #Jilly #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

4 notes · View notes

dracimalfoy1988292 · 3 years

Text

(ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 3 : ᴡᴀʟᴋɪᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪᴇs ᴀɴᴅ sʟᴜɢs)

"This is beyond stupid," Celia muttered, leaning against the corridor wall with a cookie raised to her mouth. Not allowed to have sugar at home, the Slytherin girl savored every burst of flavor that erupted along her tastebuds. She had claimed the white chocolate macadamia nut as her favorite, the crisped bread and milky chocolate enlightening the similar feeling of warm flames and hugs.5

Macey was on her knees as she maneuvered the Bobby-pin in the locked door, rolling her eyes at the dark-haired girls pessimism. She'd insisted on picking the lock rather than casting the spell, claiming she'd seen it in a film.6

"You didn't have to come. Could've taken your cookies and left, but no, you had to stay. In fact, I believe your words were, 'I want to see the innocent puffs try breaking and entering," Macey copied, raising her voice multiple octaves.17

"I don't sound like that."

"You sure?"

"Pretty sure I don't talk like a fucking mosquito," Celia snapped, clearly annoyed.14

"Pretty sure you do."2

"Pretty sure I'm gonna smack you across the head if you don't lower your voice!" Valentine urged as she paced along the hall, keeping her eyes peeled for any professors or students who stayed awake past bed time.2

"Yeesh woman, chill. What's the plan?" Macey asks, sticking her tongue out in concentration, eyes trained on the key hole. Celia, catching Macey's eyes, moved her wand closer, the emitted light from her successful 'lumos' lighting the dull hallways.

"I've told you the plan, like, a bajillion times. We get inside, borrow what we need, then get the hell outa dodge. Pretty easy, so long we can actually get the door open," Valentine sighed, gnawing on her bottom lip anxiously.1

After she'd finished her classes hours earlier, Macey had informed her that Celia would let them borrow the cauldron as long as she was able to help, having a mutual dislike for the Marauders. And although Celia complained the whole time, Valentine didn't miss the small smile she'd adorned when being told the plan, as if happy to finally be let in on something.

"Relax, Val, I'm almost done," Macey responded calmly. She could tell she was nearly there, her fingers aching from holding the tiny hair utensils for so long. True to her word, a small click came from the door, which slowly creaked open.

"Aha!" Macey announced, jumping up.

"Shhh!"

"Shut up!"

In unison, both Celia and Valentine took liberty to quiet the enthralled girl, Celia's words slightly more harsh.

Macey ignored them, raising her palm to Celia for a high five, but the girl curled her lip and brushed past into the potions room, resulting in Macey to purse her lips, disgruntled.3

Valentine quickly took the opportunity to gently touch her hand against Macey's, congratulating her for the small achievement with a quiet high five. Her best friend smiled softly in return before following Celia into the classroom.

Valentine unwound the bag from her shoulder, approaching the counter as she searched for the ingredients needed. Slowly, to avoid excess noise, she pulled open the drawers and grabbed the lacewing flies she'd found earlier.

She laid it upright in the cloth bag before she let her cocoa-colored eyes search for the others.

"Aye, I've located the fluxweed, over," Macey spoke as if holding a walkie-talkie on the other side of the room, causing Valentine to grin at their inside joke.

Back in their second year, Valentine had informed her pureblood friend of the muggle toys, walkie-talkies, and Macey had instantly become fascinated. So that year Valentine had gifted a pair to her friend for a Christmas present, the small talking box brightly colored and small enough to fit in the pocket of their robes. They'd use them during classes they didn't share, and over summer the girls had brought them home to speak, only they learned they didn't reach long range, resulting in a summer of static.2

Unfortunately, when they'd entered their third year, they'd been caught by Filch and their toys had been confiscated, much to their dismay.

"Retrieved the lacewing flies, over," Valentine repeated with a giggle.

"What the bloody hell are you on about?" Celia hissed as she placed a finding of her own, skin of boomslang, in the bag.

He emerald green eyes skipped from the light-skinned girl to the blonde, eyes brows raised in confusion.

"Oh!" Valentine said in delight. "They're muggle toys, and when you press a tiny button, you can speak from long distances. Like a telephone- not that you'd know what that is, obviously. Sorry I'm not-,"

"A fellytone? And what's the purpose of this gadget? Who names these things, toddlers?" Celia broke off.

"A telephone. And I'm not quite sure who names them. Alexander Graham Bell, I believe- uh, not that you'd know him, either. It's actually quite funny you two aren't caught up, they're all the talk- hah, literally-,"

"You're rambling," Macey singed. "Let's talk about the muggle worlds new inventions after we commit the federal crime," she suggests, rifling through cabinet after cabinet.

"Right, sorry," Valentine quipped, only wanting to finish before getting caught. She already felt bad for taking the things to begin with.

Slipping the pouch of Horn of Bicorn into her satchel, she revised everything they'd gathered carefully.

"Let's see... fluxweed, horn of bicorn, lacewing flies," she mentally check marked the list as she completed checking the bag. "Andddd boomslang skin. We already planned to get the hair tomorrow. Perfect -wait, we need leeches. And knotgrass," Valentine cut off, rereading the list before confirming with a nod. "Yeah, we don't have leeches or the grass. Can you check the shelves to your left, Celia?"

Doing as asked, Celia rose to her tippy-toes, trying to make out the worn labels plastered to the glass jars, but she couldn't fully reach. Just as her fingertips brushed the container, a longer arm slid past and snatched it.

Celia withdrew her arm, resting back on the soles of her feet as she turned to Macey, who wore a cocky grin.9

"Knotgrass, your highness," Macey said teasingly, bowing as she handed it off to the shorter girl.42

"Dork," Celia grumbled as she took the jar, only to pass it off to Valentine, who wore a frown.

"Well, we've checked the whole room. I can't seem to find leeches anywhere. You guys?"

"Nah," Macey answered, picking dirt from beneath her nails. Celia shook her head.

"Merlins balls, of course the one thing we needed left isn't here. Now what are we supposed to do?" Valentine ushered.7

"Well, I suppose I've got an idea," Celia spoke up, her acquaintances looking to her with hopeful eyes, and Celia hoped she was right.

"There are always leeches in the Black Lake. Theo and I would sometimes stick them to random students, and it's so funny when they'd freak-," surprised at breaking her composure and cold exterior, she stopped herself.3

"There are just leeches in the Black Lake," Celia rushed out quickly, playing with the hem of her robes subconsciously.

"Right, and how do you suppose we find them?"

At Macey's questions, Celia grinned wildly, finding this the entertaining part.

"Well, it's the perfect night for a swim, innit?"

_______________________

"NO," CELIA FIRMLY SAID INDIGENTLY, not moving from her spot against the pillowy grass, which had slight drops of mildew on the green blades. "I proposed the idea, it's only fair I get out of this one. Besides, you wouldn't even be doing this without my help."

Valentine put her hands on her hips, knowing she'd be the one to do the dirty work. Macey had always been scared of swimming, ever since she'd been pushed into the Black Lake their first year by older Ravenclaws.1

Valentine sighed before easing her hair into a bun on the top of her head and removing her shoes, hiking up her robes as she stared into the dark water, where clumps of algae were gathered. If the moonlight hit the water just right, you could see farther through the ripples, where small creatures swimmer back and forth, tails propelling them forward.

"Right, well, let's get this over with then," she muttered, putting one foot into the murky water, but she quickly pulled it back, grimacing at the cold temperature.

"Mannn," she whined. "I'm gonna get hypothermia!"

"Stop being so dramatic," Macey said from her spot, leaning against a tree.

"Funny coming from you!" Valentine said back.

"Excuse you, I almost drowned!"

"You were in THREE FEET OF WATER!" Valentine roared. Annoyed with their arguing, Celia marched over to the blonde, extending her arms, and shoved her backwards, body hitting the surface as the water broke, shattering like ice around her. Water splashed, a few drops gathering against Celia's pearly skin and she wore a proud smile.

Valentine stood in the water, coughing up buckets of water as she frantically brushed loose hairs from her eyesight, curls matted against her forehead.

"You could've-," another choke. "You could've warned me!"

"Yeah, I could've. But I didn't," she shrugged, sitting back to the ground. "Get looking, Ariel. I don't have all night."22

Valentine grumbled under her breath as she rummaged through the water, seaweed sticking to her clothes. Cold water dampened her robes, making them heavy. She plunged her hands deeper, fingers searching along the rocks at the bottom for the feeling of leeches.

Macey and Celia watched from the shore, amused with the look on Valentine's face, but the two girls suddenly jumped up in alarm when Valentine was pulled beneath the surfer, a short scream sounding from her lips before it went silent. Their eyes pleaded with the water to return Valentine.

"Screw it," Macey said as she dived into the water, practically bellyflopping. She winced at the impact, soreness spreading through her rib cage, but she ignored it as waved her arms about, hoping to feel hair or skin.15

When she came up empty, she was ready to go back under, only for the silence to end as soon as laughter filled the atmosphere.

Combing the frizzy hair from her eyes, Macey locked eyes with Valentine, who's stood hunched over as she held her stomach, laughing so hard it hurt.

"You- you bellyflopped," she wheezed.

Macey's jaw dropped in blasphemy. Eyes narrowed, she swept her arms against the water and sent a wave upon her blonde friend.1

"You bitch! You made me jump into the Black Lake!"

This only made Valentine laugh harder. A few minutes passed before she grasped reality, heaving for air. Macey, looking pissed as ever, stared at Valentine.

"Right, sorry," Valentine said, though she clearly didn't mean it as she continued to smile. "But good news, I got some."

She raised her palms, and five leeches were attached to her fingers, all plump and black with small antennas sticking from their head.

2 notes · View notes

mabetancour · 3 years

Text

Jukebox in My Mind

Song 2: Easy Come, Easy Go

***trigger warning for mild violence. Sexual harassment/assault and manipulation.***

Met the small group of survivors after crossing the lake and getting on the road out of Austin. Felt good to be moving with a group after all the silence. They were three, a group of gals from the university. Tough as nails and determined to get home to New Braunfels, Buda, and Corpus Christi. If they would do it I couldn't say. All I could do was drop the next quarter into that jukebox and let the music move us along our way.

The girls, Jessie a short stocky tattooed ex bartender, Denise a slim, tall, well muscled crossfit instructor, and Elena from how she described herself, the THICC STEM student; all managed to get across the water and were whispering loudly when I came up out of the brush. Whispering, mind you, was as accurate as calling a machine gun a water pistol.

Gun in hand I offered words of peace hoping they would respond in kind. They stood there mumbling to one another in slang I was to old or uncool to know; all I could hear was the man himself "King George " singing from his corner

"No fault, No blame, No body done no wrong... "

Introductions were slow but eventually Jessie recognized me from the Book Fest fliers and conceded to working together instead of me shooting, them attempting to beat me with their bats, and someone surely dieing.

"That's just the way it sometimes goes..."

We traveled the road for two days before arriving at Buda. It was a long drudge of a walk that started of with joking and laughing amongst the three. The obvious relationship between Jessie and Denise strong yet strained. Yet seeming to function in spite of the horror around us or as Elena considered it. It only works cause there were no other options. We took little time resting. Just resupplied up, filled a kid's wagon with water and headed out. The problems started shortly there after.

Movies give you, well maybe it would be gave you now? Not like anyone is going to shoot a feature film anytime soon.

"Sometimes two people just don't get along..."

Movies give you this idea that a journey like this would be fraught with perils. Scores of bandits, road warriors, marauders, and monsters of all sorts. Gunfights, high speed dirt road chases and hand to hand battles that would give Chuck Norris pause but its the monotony that was the actual problem. Real or imagined threats aside, what really got us? How easily we got on each other's last damn nerve.

"It's time to hit the road..."

Our final night together was a novela over layed with a soap opera and bad comedy. I took second watch, which took me from bout midnight as best as we could tell to 4am. It was the ideal time for my own thoughts. I had apparently brought up my marriage, my baby girl, my life so much on reflex that well the girls were sick of me. Sick of the mention of what I held in my mind. Just utterly disgusted to a level of loathing that before we could finish the dinner of Ranch Style Beans and Jerky looted from a gas station; Elena snapped at me for being an over simplistic idiot.

Or a simping idiot. Either way the message was clear. We were fraying and no work between the four of us was going to pull the stress we felt.

"Goodbye, farewell, so long..."

So I sat on watch listening to the wind and what eventually resulted in the fracture. Elena had made a move apparently. Had begun groping on Denise and neither I nor Jessie were aware until the girls were tumbling and scratching at each other.

Elena crying in anger, Denise yelling from being assaulted, Jessie grabbing her bat, and myself, pistol in hand looking every which way I could while this played out.

"... vaya con Dios..."

Jessie ran at Elena screaming obscenity after obscenity. Creative slips of the tongue that I can't even recall now but had impressed the shit out of me when it was happening. Elena returned in kind, dodging Jessie's swing with a low duck and came out with blade that only God knew where she had stashed it. The gash she made from Jessie's right flank up across her left breast couldn't have been very sharp but it bled like it was. Her shirt was pasted, torn to her body from bleeding. Denise screamed and dove for Jessie as she fell, Elena screamed like a predatory bird, and I shot her.

"Good luck, Wish you well, Take it slow..."

The bullet slammed into her left shoulder pushing her forward and around. She spun into the ground like a downed dove during hunting season. The audible smack was only overshadowed by the crying, screaming and cussing from everyone. Including myself. There isn't any reason to lie. I cried. I hadn't meant to shoot a kid. A young intelligent woman. Well prior to her turning into whatever predatory thing that came out of her tonight.

Denise did her best to bandage up Jessie. I took to Elena who had opted to attempt to unsuccessfully slash at me. The vest from Rodriguez stopped the bulk of her attempts at me. She eventually stopped trying as soon as I touched the gunshot wound. Bullet passed through, so closing and cleaning were my best guesses.

The sun was coming up by the time everyone was settled. Elena pleaded through miserable pain to just be allowed to hold Denise. Calling for all to be forgiven, especially how she had innocently gone below Denise's pants. She stood up head held high, framed by the orange morning sky.

What was a little heavy petting between friends?

Denise threw an uppercut that sat Elena right back down. Blood ran from her nose, tears poured down Denise's face and Jessie was forcing herself to sit.

"Easy Come Girl, Easy Go..."

Elena walked off bandaged and bleeding into town. Shouting back that we were lovers.

NO!

Simps to a world that was gone. That she knew better than to trust some gym slut, her heavy dike and an old fuck. I didn't holster my gun until she was well out of sight.

"Easy Come Girl, Easy Go..."

As for Denise and Jessie, they split food and refused to go any further with me. How could they trust someone who both didn't help them at all and did to much by simply shooting Elena. I mean she was still their friend right? It hadn't been the first time she tried something like this. Had it really been ok then? Manipulated, taken advantage of, and convinced it was ok?

"Easy Come Girl, Easy Go..."

They rationalized the best they could while I continued on alone. I wouldn't let this ruin anything now. I need to get home. Get to my family. My wife and my daughter.

"Vaya Con Dios. Good Luck."

Just going to do this one song at a time.

#austin #Texas #creative writing #writing #second story #fiction #musicinspired #Buda #newbraunfels #corpuschristi #post apocalypse #university of texas #raw #unedited #bad grammar

6 notes · View notes

stagcharmed-a · 4 years

Text

@cewyllenw / continued from

❛ you’re getting awfully paranoid, prongs. ❜ it’s easy to pretend sirius doesn’t know what james is talking about, because they’re a month away from summer and nothing has happened all year, barring christmas where sirius returned from home weary and holding himself awkwardly. they’d all noticed, but none of them had said anything, because sirius’ home life is a shrouded point of contention among the marauders, and sirius doesn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him.

james knows more than the rest of them, though - sirius can’t help but tell him things. and if sirius is being honest, he’s dreading going home again. dreading spending the summer with his family, and dreading the way it will make him feel. perhaps it’s why he can’t joke it away, can’t make the idea of it being alright stick.

for several long moment, he simply focuses on the charms spell he’s practicing, though he hardly needs to. his little statue has been turned to life and back to stone again several times now. it provides a nice distraction, though, before the words come tumbling out unbidden. ❛ i don’t know that i’ll survive another summer with them. ❜ he hardly needs to expand on who he’s talking about. it’s just easier not to look at james when he says it ; sirius has never quite taken his own survival all that seriously anyway. ❛ either she’ll kill me or - ❜ it’s not worth finishing the thought. not really

sirius might not realise it, but james had been watching him closely, watching for the shifting patterns of his mood. whenever the holidays rolled around, his mood always darkened, his words becoming more unsettling . james didn’t know everything that happened when sirius left hogwarts, when he was out of james’ sight - but he suspected enough. he put through scraps of information, collected each little story and tale and stashed them deep into his memory. ever since sirius had come back from home from christmas this year, clearly hurt, james had dreaded knowing he’d have to go back, and he thought sirius was dreading it too. he was sure he wasn’t being paranoid. ❛ no I’m not - something is wrong. I can tell ❜

an unhappy frown settles across his face as he watches sirius practise the charm. and when sirius finally speaks something hard and uncomfortable settles in his stomach. eyes flicker to sirius, worry sharp in his eyes - though of course sirius won’t meet his gaze. his stomach coils into tight knots, the casual mention of death something he doesn’t know how to navigate. a breath, ❛ that’s not funny ❜ words are sharp, though he knows sirius isn’t really joking. it’s just that the words scare james, a bone-deep fear for sirius he doesn’t know how to fix.

he doesn’t know everything that happens in the black house - but he doesn’t doubt that sirius is genuinely sure that would be the outcome of his summer. james reaches out for his friend, a hand closing over his wrist ❛ don’t go back ❜ there’s a hint of pleading there. james didn’t know what to do without sirius. ❛ you can’t ❜

#cewyllenw #( & | stars exploding / we’ll be fireproof ( hogwarts verse )#ok im ....... sad #james 100% doesn't rlly know how to deal w sirius #and what to say #bc he just doesn't Understand his family #and I :///#( & | queue . )#( & | queue )

12 notes · View notes

futurewriter2000 · 5 years

Text

Memorable pain ~ Pt. 2

A/N: So, here’s a part two. I don’t know if it’s as good as the first part but I tried. Hope you guys like it. <<3

It felt like a mistake. Cutting James out of your life felt empty and miserable but you told yourself that this was only for a short time and until that time passes, you have to do everything without him.

" I can play the violin." he wiggled his eyebrows and leaned his arm against the bookshelf while you surfed for another Transfiguration book.

"Fascinating. " you replied without a smile and giving him all the books you held. "Here."

He didn't protest but only licking his lips and showing you his grin. "Alright. " he followed you to a study desk.

" I didn't choose you for my partner for nothing less than this stupid project." you turned around, feeling like you're owing him an explanation.

He didn't say anything but keeping the same grin as before. He placed the books on the desk and took the top one from the pile. He sat down and opened it, glancing up at you and smiling.

" And don't expect me to do all the work. I know you and Mucliber think you know everything just because-"

"Hey, (y/n)." he cut in, grinning and holding the pencil in between his index and middle finger. You looked at him confused, while his eyes showed a glint of mischief. " I'd use your next words carefully." he warned, his expression unchanged.

You stood quiet, pursing your lips tight and standing.

A corner of his lips quirked into a smirk, his brown eyes watching you mysteriously while his fingers spun the pencil. " Not me nor Mulciber are what people rumor it around. We're finding our amusement..." he slammed the hand down the desk, his pencil pushed hard against his desk you felt it was about to leave a mark. " ...different." he tilted his head lightly.

" Different?" you snorted, crossing your arms over your chest. " It's cruel and evil."

"It's amusement, darling. You think you're good and innocent but have you ever tasted a sin?"

You stared at him, thinking your next words carefully. Before you could speak he cut in first and motioned his hand on the chair opposite of his. " Come. Sit." he grinned. "Let's start this project."

---

It was hard for you to admit that he was actually a better project partner than James. He was smart quite intelligent. He definitely knew his way around the library and was quick to find an answer to your questions.

He didn't flirt nor retort any kind of cruel joke. He worked and you finished your project and research in three hours.

Surprised, you were for seeing that the grades he got were actually deserved to him. He really was someone different than he was rumored to be.

It was odd to you because no matter how you imagined him to be cruel or evil, he was actually nice. He made sure you got everything written down, sometimes let out a joke or two to which you laughed, sincerely.

Soon after you both finished he was grinning at you as before.

"So? " he tilted his head on the side, something you noticed he does pretty often. " How did I do?"

You put the last book in your bag and quirked an eyebrow. As much as you didn't want to let him know, you couldn't help yourself but smirk. " You surprised me. "

" Told you I'm not who you thought I was." he now started walking beside you, running his hand through his tidy hair and making them a bit messy.

Usually, this would remind you of someone. Someone who was known to have the messiest hair but you looked at Avery and all you could see was his goofy grin still plastered on his face.

"That still doesn't deny the fact you can be cruel."

" Some things can't be changed, (y/l/n)." he smiled and starting walking backward, making a sharp turn towards the dungeons. " See you around."

"Bye!" you waved in return, feeling a foolish smile force itself on your lips.

---

As soon as you entered your own common room, you saw James and his, as well as his girlfriend, sit by the fire. Your heart leaped. It leaped when your eyes caught their intervened fingers, her giggling and running her hand through his hair.

God, it hurt. It felt like tearing apart your heart all over again. It felt horrible and as soon as his eyes caught the sight of you, you looked away and made your way to your dorm. You stopped at the top of the stairs, glancing back at what felt like memory and see his hazel eyes looking back at you, almost pleading, begging for you to come to him.

‘ Don’t do it.’ a voice in the back of your head echoed and you turned your head forward and you walked.

This wasn’t missed by his friends. Not close by it.

---

“ Out of my head, out of my bed, out of the dreams we had they’re bad...” you hummed to the song that kept repeating in your head, putting the books for tomorrow in your bag. “ Tell them it’s me it made you sad, tell them the fairytale gone bad...”

“ (y/n)?” there was a knock and you saw Sirius walk with his eyes on the ground. “ You dressed?”

“ No. Completely naked.” you rolled your eyes and sat down on your bed. As you saw he kept looking at the ground, you snorted. “ I’m dressed, Sirius. Though you were a player?” you quirked an eyebrow at him and he finally looked up.

“ Rumors. Rumors.” he chuckled and made his way to your bed.

“ How did you come to the girl's dormitories?” you wondered.

“ Another time.” he smiled and put one leg on the bed and brought his knee to his chin, leaning his chin on it. “ You have to tell me what happened to you and James?”

“ Does it even matter anymore?” you rolled your eyes and mirrored his position. “ You know. You always knew, didn’t you?”

“ Wasn’t really hard to miss.” he smirked. “ But you can’t just cut him out-”

“ You don’t understand, Sirius. It’s not just that. “ you turned your gaze away from his piercing blue eyes and started playing with your fingers. “ Everything changed this year. We’re not kids, we can’t pretend that everything is going to be okay when it’s clearly not. “

“ But James is your best friend.”

“ No, Sirius. He’s your best friend.” you now looked at him. “ He became that the moment the two of you met on that train and I should have seen that.”

“ But he’s-”

“ Sirius, leave it.” you cut him off. “ Let me figure this out by myself.”

---

The next few weeks that passed have been doing you really good. To be completely honest, you have been terrified of doing everything by yourself with nobody to be there by your side but as much as you didn’t see it, you became more independent.

There were no distractions anymore so your grades have gotten better, your concentration as well. Something changed in you and you felt that now when you were finally free of always depending on somebody or waiting on somebody to come, was the person you truly wanted to become a long time ago.

You didn’t speak with neither of the Marauders. You felt that was just going to bring you back to where you were before. You knew because you knew yourself and as soon as you decided to talk to one, you will talk to all of them.

So, how on earth did you go from them to him?

“ You’re holding it wrong.” he laughed and you laughed with him.

“ You told me to hold it like this.”

“ Your hand needs to be higher...here.” he took your hand in his own and brushed it up against the neck of the guitar.

His palm was soft, big yet the skin on his fingertips was harsh. He softly placed your fingers on the strings and his other arm brushed against your waist and his hand took a hold of yours, placing it on the top of the body of the guitar before brushing his fingers against the strings and playing a tune.

To be honest, you weren’t really paying attention to what he was saying or that he tried to teach you how to play the guitar. He was close, close that you felt his chiseled chest against your own body. Your heart was racing faster the minute you waited for him to look up from the guitar and stop talking.

He didn’t. He didn’t look up but you’d be deceiving yourself if you didn’t see him stumble through some words as you let out hot breaths which he could feel. Your hand on the neck of the guitar removed his and you let your fingers intervene with his, your other hand putting the guitar away and waiting for him to look at you.

“ (y/n)... what are you doing?” he sighed, still avoiding your eyes.

“ Kiss me.” you let your hand brush behind his ear and through his hair.

“ You don’t want this...” he kept his voice low, his eyes still trying not to look at you yet his hand traveling to your thigh.

“ Weren’t you the one who told me to taste a sin?” you smiled and brushed your nose against the bridge of his own, making his fingers dig in your thigh and his lips crash into yours.

The kiss was so aggressive, so full of hunger and lust that you felt yourself barely hold together. Your hands gripped his hair and his fingers dug deeper in your thighs, probably leaving marks. He pulled you into his lap, not removing his lips from yours yet his hands slipping under your shirt. You grinded against his body and he pulled away from the kiss, letting out a low moan before crashing his lips harsher against your lips, your teeth clashing before he bit your lower lip and turned his hunger to your neck.

It was a heated kiss and you felt every single bone in your body crave for more. “ You want to taste a sin?” he growled in your ear, kissing it gently and before you knew it he hovered above you and you were looking up at his dark and lustful eyes. As if he was waiting for your permission and of a flash what everything you’ve been through, he got it.

---

Next Transfiguration class that you had was with the Slytherins the next morning. You sat to your usual desk but instead of your friend Kathy, who was since the First year seated beside you, was taken by him. “ Hope this seat isn’t taken.” he grinned and you flashed him a smile.

“ You’re horrible.”

“ That’s not what you said last night.” he winked and you quickly shot your head to him.

“ Yes, please. Shout louder.” you retorded and he chuckled, his eyes stuck at McGonagall’s desk.

“ Oh, honey.” he now pushed his lips against your ear while his hand found its way back to your thigh. “ I’ll shout it alright.” he kissed your ear before standing and walking back to his best friend and sitting beside him. They immediately started whispering and smiling maliciously while the two boys stood at the door, one glaring while the other with mouth open.

“ I’m going to kill him.” spoke the one with the untidy hair, prepared to storm over but his best friend pulling him back by the shoulders.

“ McGonagall.” is all that Sirius said and James stopped.

“ I’ll kill him after Transfiguration.” he corrected himself and sat at the desk behind you, glaring.

James was raging. He was screaming inside, his lungs bleeding for how furious he was at you and Avery. His fists were clenched, nails digging deep into his palms while Sirius beside him didn’t say a word. And it was the first time that professor McGonagall saw those two boys quiet in her class.

She was handing out the papers that had to be done in pairs. James, of course,, had done his own by himself because he was the only one without a pair, receiving an E, while you and Avery received an O. “ The paper was far the best in the class, Miss (y/l/n) and Mister Avery. Well done, both of you.” she said in front of the class and you turned around to see Avery winking at you.

You blushed a bit and tugged a strand of hair behind your ear, facing back and looking at your O. Barely any mistakes and the highest percentage you got in Transfiguration by now.

---

When the class was over you packed your books and left the classroom. You wanted to catch Avery before he made his way to the dungeons but as you saw him walking with his best friend someone jumped in front of you and threw you over their shoulder.

“ What the-?” you puzzled for a moment before realizing who it was.

Sirius who was standing at the door, growing smaller as your hijacker carried you further away from him, was frowning knowing exactly this was not about to be a bonding moment for the two of you.

“ JAMES, YOU WANKER! LET GO OF ME!” you shouted, your fists hitting his back but he only fixed his grip on you and kept carrying you outside the castle.

“ ‘ello James! “ Hagrid beamed, his eyebrows immediately furrowing as James approached him. “ Eh- Whatcha 'ot there?”

“ Morning, Hagrid. Oh, don’t mind me. Just passing. “ James beamed in return and kept carrying you.

“ James! I AM NOT A BAG OF POTATOES- oh, good morning Hagrid- TO BE CARRIED LIKE ONE!”

After the two of you were on the clear, no students around as they were all at class or indoors, he put you down and as soon as he did, he got a slap across the cheek.

“ What the hell, James!” you shouted at him while he rubbed his chin.

“ My point exactly, (y/n)!” he shouted back. “ What the hell were you thinking about sleeping with him? You- you- YOU’RE SUCH AN AIRBAG! HO-HOW COULD YOU!?!”

“ I think I can do pretty much what I want to, James! If I want to shag Avery or Remus or have a threesome with both of them, I will because who are you to tell me otherwise!” you shouted back and he stared. He stared with his wide hazel eyes and flat expression before throwing you over his shoulder once again and carrying you down the lake.

“ JAMES! “ you screamed higher and louder than you did before. “ DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” you kept hitting him with your fists, harder.

“ You think you can just cut me out of your life and think you can do whatever you want!” he bellowed, walking into the lake fully clothed with you on his back. “ You think you can just grab the first enemy of mine and give yourself to him!” the water was now to his knees and your feet dip into it as well.

“ I am nobody’s to give!” you shouted and he threw you off his shoulder into the cold water. You were soaked from head to toe, standing up on your feet and pulling out your wand. “ Stupefy!” you shouted in anger and a red light threw him further from you and into the cold water.

He quickly swam on the surface and started swimming back where his feet could touch the ground. “ Did you just stupefy me?!!?”

“ Bet your arse I did!” you shouted back and he stood on his feet, glaring.

“ I should have never let you leave that day! That day after our fight! I should have gone after you but how was I supposed to know you would turn into this!”

“ Into this!?” you scoffed. “ THIS IS ME WITHOUT YOU, JAMES! AND I BLOODY LIKE ME!”

“ Well, I don’t!” he snapped back and walked closer to you. “Did you even think of what you did by going to Avery like that?!”

“ Yes, I think I pretty much have a clue.”

“ HE’S AVERY! PUREBLOOD! SLYTHERIN! FILTH!” he shouted louder and you gripped your wand tighter around its core.” What would your parents say when they found out that you had anything to do with him!?”

“ Oh, bringing parents into this, huh?! Well, if we’re playing like that then why didn’t you say so. Because what would your parents say about your bullying Severus, huh?”

“ Oh, he deserves everything he gets. He called Lilly Mudblood. “

“ And you called Avery filth! “

“ Because he is!”

“ You don’t know that! You don’t know a single shit about him or his best friend, Slytherins or even me! You don’t know me, James! You never have!��

“ Here we go again, don’t we Miss (y/l/n). James ignored you! James was always an important one! James is so self-observed, always thinking of himself first! I KNOW YOU, (Y/N)!”

“ Oh, really! When is my birthday? “

“ 3rd November- No, shite! (y/b/d).”

“ And what did I get from you? “

“ You got a pink Snitch.”

“ Yeah, and guess what. I got a pink Snitch the year before that and the year before that and the year before that!”

“ You don’t understand! They’re-”

“ No. I understand perfectly, James. One thing happens that you do not agree on after months of ignoring me. We fought and you didn’t even bother to apologize or at least talk to me. You didn’t even try to make this right! You didn’t even bother to come to me, to see me, to talk to me like I wanted so desperately talk to you! I MISS YOU! SO MUCH!” tears now started to fall from your cheeks. “ I miss your hugs and your smell. I miss talking to you and being around you. There isn’t a moment when something happens and the first person I think of telling is my best friend. But then I remember that we don’t talk because he doesn’t want to talk. Because he just. gave. up.”

“ I-I- I didn’t know what to say. You said you loved me more than I love you and I couldn’t say the same. “

“ I could have dealt with it. “ you cried. “ I am not a weak person, James. You were supposed to know that but I feel like the more you are with her and with your roommates the less you know about me.”

“ But I do know you. “

“ No. You know the person who I used to be but I’m changing and growing and I’m not staying the same just like you’re not. Do you know how sad and furious I was when you didn’t do a single thing about us? After the fight? Of course, I came running to Avery because he was a comfort. He was a replacement for you. He was the one who listened, who I could talk to about my troubles and problems. He became the one I trusted even if he shouldn’t be. You made me be this stupid and naive to trust a Slytherin. So, don’t you go acting all caring and bossy when you don’t even know that he was there for me when you clearly weren’t? Don’t you scold me about mistakes I don’t consider and don’t you act like you care because if you cared, you wouldn’t be putting me in this freezing water and making me miss my classes.”

“ You could just come and talk to me.”

“ Why should I be the one always running to you, James when every time I see you is with her or with your friends, laughing and being happy without me.”

“ I am not happy without you. You have to know that.”

“ Well, you’re sure hiding it pretty well.” you finished and started walking out of the lake and up to the castle. “ Goodbye, James.”

271 notes · View notes

amarauder · 6 years

Text

chapter nine ❥ | original

Y/n dragged her trunk as she looked up to the familiar Hogwarts Express sign above her head. She heaved it into an empty compartment and began to wait for her friends. Several minutes later, three girls stumbled into the compartment, laughing like crazy. Arabella's brown curls were loose and tumbling down her shoulders, while Jennifer's length blond hair was frizzy.

"Where are on earth were you three?" asked Y/n, frowning. "And why are you laughing?"

"Oh Y/n," said Arabella gleefully, with tears in her eyes. "Snape...he just said to the whole train that he was in love with you! Then Malfoy dragged him off somewhere else, muttering something about Snape getting drunk. It was priceless!

"Bella," sighed Y/n.

"Didn't think Snape would still like a thing like you, L/n," came a familiar voice. All four girls turned around to see the famous Marauder and heartthrob of Hogwarts, James Potter, along with the rest of his gang.

"Shut up, Potter," snapped Y/n.

"Not again," said Violet, moaning. "Y/n, why can't you and James be friends and get it done with?"

"Because, Vi, I am not becoming friends with an egotistical jerk like Potter," snapped Y/n angrily. "You know, James, life would be a whole lot better if you didn't strut around the school like you owned the place. Really, why can't you be more like Harry?"

"Because my parents aren't dead because of some psychotic wizard, that's why," said James nonchalantly.

"How dare you!" growled Y/n.

"Will you guys grow up?" asked Jennifer, rolling her eyes. "Really, N/n, I expected you to be together with James. After all, you guys are in your third year already! And we're starting new subjects!" she cried gleefully.

"Yes, Divination and Care of Magical Creatures," said Y/n happily. James' jaw dropped.

"No way am I going to be in my two new subjects with you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sirius, Remus, Peter and I signed up for the same subjects too!"

"How dare you!" cried Y/n, yet again.

"It won't be so bad," said Jennifer, staring dreamily at Remus.

"Well, at least your enemy isn't in all your classes!"

"That's because, apart from all the Slytherins, I don't have any enemies, N/n. Unlike you, making enemies as you go along."

"And it's because you and Remus will be snogging the whole time during Divination. I wonder who's the Divination professor."

"It's that fraud, Trelawney," said Sirius, informing them all. "She's the idiot who tells everyone they're going to die."

"Well, I don't need to be told now that I'm dying, since I already know," said Y/n grumpily.

"Arabella?" They all turned around to see Amos Diggory standing near their compartment door, and realized that they were having such a heated conversation that they barely heard the door slide open.

"Hello, Amos," said Arabella coldly.

"I was wondering if we're still on," he said sweetly.

"And you would think that, why?"

"Because no girl dumps me for very long," he replied smugly.

"Well, I'm together with Sirius again, and nothing's going to pull us apart," said Arabella, smiling at Sirius.

Amos scowled. "You little rat. No girl dumps Amos Diggory. I'm supposed to be the one who dumps them!" He suddenly clapped his hand over his mouth, realizing what he had just said.

"Don't you dare call her a rat, you...you..." Y/n struggled to find words to describe him.

"Ah, Y/n, I suppose you would like to go out with me to Hogsmeade? After all, you are a third year this year and perhaps we can get a bit of butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks."

"No thank you, Amos, I think I'll pass on the offer," said Y/n coldly.

James breathed a sigh of relief, but unfortunately, everyone heard it. Sirius and the girls, minus Y/n, sniggered loudly, and Remus and Peter smiled thoughtfully. Y/n, however, was blushing as red as James was.

"Why would you care, James? You don't even like her!" snapped Amos.

"Well, we're getting along better than we used to, Diggory," said James, frowning.

"Whatever."

"You sound like a girl when you say that, Diggory," said Sirius angrily.

"So do you, Black."

"Well, I don't say 'whatever' all the time, Diggory."

"So...James," said Amos, sneering. "You like Y/n, huh? I thought you only went for the (not your hair color)."

James reddened. "Shut up, Diggory. I've never dated before in my life."

"What about Miss Deanna Jackson?"

"She was the one who gave me a Love Potion!"

"Yes, yes. And now y/n has caught your attention?"

There was a tense silence as James' knuckles tightened. Sirius squirmed uncomfortably and Y/n's e/c eyes were wide. When James was mad, he would take any action. To their surprise, his arms lowered, though still glaring at Amos.

"Get away, Diggory, before you'll be sorry."

Amos' eyes looked frightened, as he slid open the compartment door and slammed it shut behind him.

"Bloody brilliant, Jamie-boy!" cried Sirius, impressed. "You didn't even use violence?"

"Why would I, Sirius? It would frighten the ladies." He smiled warmly at the girls, who were hunched back near Remus and Peter, shaking.

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly.

Arabella smiled. "Yeah, James, we're fine. Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not using violence in front of us. You know—er—how we don't exactly like violence."

"Y/N LOVES JAMES!" cried Sirius suddenly, startling them all.

"Er—Sirius? That was totally random," stated his girlfriend, wrinkling her nose.

"I know that, Bella dear, but I am a random person, after all."

"And I don't love Y/n," added James grumpily.

"Yeah, you do," said Remus, now joining the conversation.

"Why are all you guys' favorite conversations about us?" asked Y/n rather snappily. "Do you ever give us any peace around here? And we're not even at Hogwarts! Goodness!" She collapsed into the chair again and took out Hogwarts, A History.

"Why do you bother reading that stuff?" asked James lazily, as he stared into the clear, blue September sky. "It's so...boring."

"It's fascinating, once you start reading it," mumbled y/n, her nose almost touching the page.

"Don't you read it every year, N/n, on the Hogwarts Express?"

"Well, you should re-read books, you know. It's good for the soul."

"I think that Quidditch Through the Ages is a good book," said James proudly. "I've read it twice."

"I've read Hogwarts, A History twenty times," said Y/n loftily, her nose still in the thick book. "Of course, I would have read it twice as much if you didn't bother me at Hogwarts twice as much..."

"Twenty times? Bloody hell, that's too many times!" cried James. "Why don't you have fun in life? Haven't I showed you fun yet this summer? I told you on the train home in our second year that I'd invite you over the summer to show you what fun really is about. And has all that time been wasted by schoolwork?"

Y/n slammed her book shut and opened her mouth to speak, but then clamped it shut. It was true that she had learned what fun really meant that summer—and all thanks to James.

"Fine, I admit it, I did learn what fun really meant, James. All thanks to you." With that, she hugged him briefly and returned to her book, smiling slightly with red cheeks.

Everyone else tried not to laugh at James' open mouth and red face. His face took on one of those dreamy looks reserved for Y/n, and he sighed happily. Arabella, along with Jennifer and Violet, had burst out laughing. The boys were still silent, smiling at their friend. Yes, James was definitely in love all right. They could all see it in his eyes and his every move. It was too obvious, though he wouldn't admit it at all.

"What all you all laughing at?" he asked, confused. That made them laugh harder and James more confused.

Y/n was blushing like crazy. "Er—you know, guys, maybe you should stop laughing."

Arabella grinned at her best friend evilly. "C'mon, N/n, kiss Jamie."

Y/n's smile faded. "WHAT?"

"Kiss him."

"NO WAY AM I GOING TO KISS JAMES POTTER! WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?"

"Geez, don't get so touchy, she was only joking," said Sirius, grinning.

"Well, she had better be!" exclaimed Y/n. "I'm not kissing Potter. Never."

"Is that a promise?"

Y/n hesitated. "No. Because I know we'll probably end up 'loving' each other. Just not now."

"Sirius Black, how can you eat so much?" asked Arabella, staring at her boyfriend as he gobbled down everything there was on the table.

"Hey," he said through a mouthful of pudding, "at least you don't have to worry about me becoming anorexic."

James and Remus snorted into their own Yorkshire pudding and Jennifer frowned.

"That's not a joking matter," she said firmly.

"Jen, don't worry, Sirius was just fooling like always," said Remus, a plead in his gray eyes as he reached out for her hand. "Don't take it seriously."

Jennifer smiled. "I suppose."

"Good."

James groaned. "You guys are always sweet on each other. Why don't you just get married and begone with it?"

They both glared at him. "Because we're way too young." Jennifer and Remus looked at each other in surprise.

"Y/n, why aren't you eating?" asked Violet, concerned.

Y/n sighed. She just wasn't in the mood to eat. Her thoughts were all jumbled together as she poked her fork into her potatoes, and bit her lip. The future. It was what was tormenting her and James' lives. If only they didn't get married and get on to hating each other for the rest of their lives. Then Harry would no longer exist and defeat evil...Oh, it was all so confusing!

"Are you all right?" asked Remus quietly.

"Oh!" she cried in a high-pitched tone. "Yes, yes, I'm fine."

"You don't sound like it," said James, frowning.

"Why would you care?" she snapped. "You hate me."

"I don't—" he began, but she cut him off and started to eat furiously, an appetite that would rival Sirius'.

"Whoa, slow down there, Flower!" he exclaimed, staring at Y/n. "You eat more than I do!"

"I don't think that's possible, Sirius," she said, grinning. "Want to have a contest?"

"You're on, girl."

Ten minutes later, Y/n was smiling triumphantly at Sirius, who was groaning over a bad stomachache.

"Go to Madame Pomfrey," she suggested, her eyes softening at the groaning boy.

"No, she'll perform surgery on me," he said, clutching painfully at his stomach.

"I'm sorry for making you do the stupid contest," Y/n offered.

Sirius shook his head. "Nah, I was too thick to accept the dare."

Arabella and James cleared their throats and Y/n jumped.

"What?" she asked, annoyed. "What did I do now?"

"You do know you guys are flirting, right?" asked Bella, rather testily.

"Uh...sorry Bella, that's your area of expertise. I don't 'flirt' with boys."

"Well, thanks for lying to me, James," said Arabella angrily, as James started to crack up, causing all the other Gryffindors to stare at them. "Now my best friend is mad at me and my boyfriend thinks I'm cracked."

"S-so sorry, B-Bella, b-but it's j-just t-too funny!" choked James, still laughing.

"Er—" It was one of the fifth year prefects, and she was looking at James like he was crazy.

"What?" he asked.

"Er—you know everyone else in the Great Hall already left, right?"

James looked around. Surely, everyone did leave, even Sirius, Remus, Peter, and the girls. He quickly rushed out of the Hall, and stopped in front of the Fat Lady, who sighed at the sight of him.

"Password? Dear me, it's another year, isn't it, James Potter?"

"Er—Sherbet Lemon?" he asked tentatively. It had been the password on the first day last year, so he assumed it would be this year, too.

"Certainly not!" the Fat Lady exclaimed.

"Er—oh damn, where's that prefect I was with a minute ago?"

"You mean me?" The girl was standing there, her prefect badge shining down all the way in the corridor.

"Yeah. What's the password?"

"Cornish Pixies," the girl said to the Fat Lady. The portrait swung open, revealing the old portrait hole leading to Gryffindor Tower.

"Jamie-boy! Where were you?" Sirius was running towards him, looking rather worried.

"All right, why'd you ditch me, Sirius?" asked James loudly.

"I didn't. Dumbledore announced something and told us to all go to bed. We all got up, and you were still zoned out somewhere, so I poked you. You said something about coming up later, so I went with the others. Then when you didn't show up later, I thought that you and Snape were dueling in the dungeons or something." He shrugged. "Where were you, anyway?"

"Trying to get into Gryffindor Tower. I didn't know the password."

"R-ight. Well, we'd better go up to bed, Jamie-boy. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. But we get to visit Hogsmeade this year!"

"Yeah. That's the only good thing besides Quidditch. And...our secret plan to become you-know-what."

"If Trelawney predicts my death one more time, I swear I'll kill her," muttered James, as he stared blankly into his star chart.

"What does it all mean?" asked Sirius, poking the same chart in front of him with his wand. "It makes no sense at all."

"That's because there is no sense to it, Siri-boy. So we'll make it up."

"Jamie, that's a genius plan! Ah, what would I do without you."

"You wouldn't be able to do anything, because I'm your savior."

"Er—right. So let's get started."

Half an hour later, both boys brandished their parchments, which were filled with fake predictions, proudly to the girls.

"Isn't it brilliant?"

"'Next Thursday, I will be attacked and eaten by the giant squid in the lake'," read Arabella, peering at Sirius' parchment. "Er—Sirius, it's too obvious that none of this is going to happen. You go to Azkaban because you betrayed James? That's ridiculous!"

"Maybe not." He shrugged. "Hey, I was running out of ideas! Let's see how you girls are going to bluff up the homework that Trelawney gave us."

"We don't have to," said Y/n practically, as she joined them. "We finished it two days ago. And it's all accurate too."

"You understand what the mad woman's trying to make us do?" asked James, his mouth sagging open?

"Yeah. Even though it's all a bunch of nonsense, we still know how to do it." Violet rolled her eyes. "It's not that hard."

"All you do is choose the planet that's two squares away from the one you're doing," said Jennifer, trying not to laugh. "It wasn't too hard to figure out."

"What? How come we never knew that?"

"I told you, Sirius, but you wouldn't listen," sighed Remus, shaking his head.

"You mean you finished too?" asked James furiously. "And you never told us how to do it?"

"I tried," said Remus, shrugging. "You two wouldn't listen, though."

"We would too!" exclaimed Sirius, pretending to look "injured".

"You said it was a bunch of crap," he said seriously.

James' eyes widened and he put his hand on Remus' mouth. "Sh...don't say it, Remie."

"Thanks a lot, Remus," said Sirius sourly.

"Well, it is a bunch of crap," admitted Jennifer, trying to save her boyfriend from getting killed.

"Well, I'm glad you think so, Jen, because it's the truth," said Sirius proudly. The other three girls rolled their eyes.

Y/n and James were off in their own worlds again. It happened quite frequently, now that they started to have those dreams about Harry again. When James looked over Y/n, his stomach lurched. It had been two years since they've known each other, and they were already in their third year. He thought of Y/n as a friend now, not someone he hated. Of course, it was a ridiculous notion, for Y/n hated him, and he still didn't like her too much to be her friend. No...he wasn't ready just yet to become friends with Y/n.

"Hello? Earth to Y/n and James Potter!" said Sirius, waving his hand in front of their faces.

Both turned extremely red. "We're not Y/n and James Potter."

"Then who are you?"

"Y/n L/n and James Potter."

"You mean Y/n soon-to-be-Potter and James Potter."

James sighed, exasperated, and Y/n rolled her eyes.

"Talk about idiots," she muttered.

"James!" exclaimed Sirius suddenly, scrambling to his feet. "We—have to work on the potion."

The girls gave them quizzical looks as James' face went white. He dragged the other three boys with them to their dormitory, while Jennifer raised her eyebrows.

"Do you guys have a feeling they're not telling us something?"

"I always have that feeling with them," said Arabella, rolling her eyes.

"Probably doing something against the school rules...again," said Y/n, bored. "Is it ever surprising, Jenny? They're born troublemakers."

"Yeah...but I have a feeling that they're doing something, well, illegal," said Jennifer uneasily. "I'm going to spy on them."

"Whatever you say, Jen," said Violet, staring off into space.

"Are any of you coming with me?" asked Jennifer incredulously. Her face fell when the three other girls shook their heads.

"What's the point?" asked Arabella lazily. "They're probably plotting their next prank on Snape."

Jennifer left and returned five minutes later, her face looking disappointed.

"Well, what did you learn?" asked Y/n, her nose buried in Hogwarts, A History.

"Nothing," she replied grumpily. "Even Remie wouldn't tell me anything, and he always tells me something about what they plan. They all told me to go away and mind my own business when I asked."

"Potter's going to be in for it," said Y/n, through gritted teeth. "Oh, how I'd love to get my hands on that ego of his and shrink it so he'll feel so ashamed of himself that he'll—"

"N/n, I'm surprised at you! After actually staying at his house over the summer and sharing a bed with him, you still hate him?" Arabella put on a surprised face. "How could you?"

"First of all, Belle, I did not share a bed with James Henry Potter. Second of all, I—"

"What's this about Jamie-boy's middle name?" asked Sirius curiously, as the boys came into the common room.

"What's it to you, Black?" snapped Jennifer. "You're the ones who kicked me out when I was just wondering what you were doing."

"Yeah—um, that's what we—er—came here to talk to you about." Sirius shifted nervously and glanced over to Remus.

"Jenny, you know I'm a"—he kept his voice down—"a werewolf."

"Yeah?" Jennifer was squinting at the foursome suspiciously.

"So—the guys decided to do something to help me," he continued nervously. "And—well—" He stared around at his three friends. "Guys, I can't do this."

"Then don't," said James, stepping forward. "Look, girls, we'll tell you when we're ready, but what we're doing is really dangerous, and we can't have you know just yet."

Y/n, Arabella, and Violet shrugged, but Jennifer still looked between the four.

"Why can't you tell us?" she asked, biting her lip. "Is it that important that you can't even tell your friends?"

"Look, Jen, we don't really care," said Arabella, standing up. "When they're ready, they can tell us, but for now, just let it go."

"You know, Remus means a lot to me," continued Jennifer, ignoring Arabella. "If you don't tell me what's wrong with him..."

"There's nothing wrong with him!" said Sirius quickly. "You know, we're just trying to help him during his transformations and—" He clapped his hand over his mouth in horror.

"You're trying to keep a werewolf in check?" asked Jennifer in disbelief. "You could get killed!"

"Jen," said Y/n softly, also stepping forward. "They're big boys, they can handle whatever they're going to do."

"I know, but they're so foolish, and Remus could bite any of them..." She trailed off, and ran to the girls' dormitory, tears spilling from her eyes.

Arabella rounded on the four boys like an angry hippogriff. "Thanks a bunch, you two." She, along with the other two girls, ran up to comfort Jennifer.

Remus stared at his friends, his eyes blank. "Now she hates me," he said bluntly.

"Remus, Jen will get over it," said James, trying to feel as confident as he sounded. "Er—it just needs time, like with Sirius and Bella."

"They were different," he said quietly. "Jenny, she can be stubborn sometimes."

James laughed uncomfortably. "Sirius and Bella are more stubborn than anyone we've known."

"I know. But still."

"We know, Remus. We'll help Jennifer understand."

"Those bloody prats," growled Arabella, putting her arm around Jennifer. "Why, I ought to kill 'em all. Especially that bloody Remus, oh how he'll get it..."

"Bells," said Y/n sternly. "Jen doesn't need this now."

"R-Remus, w-why won't he t-tell me w-what they're up t-to?" sobbed Jennifer.

"Because he's a bloody prat," said Arabella bitterly. Y/n glared at her.

"Maybe it's too important for them to tell us, Jenny. You know how they are, secretive about everything. Besides, we can't know everything about their personal lives; they're bound to have some privacy." She chuckled weakly.

Jennifer sniffed and wiped her eyes, smiling. "You're right Y/n. I shouldn't be moping around here, crying my eyes out for my own selfish reasons. Remus is a sweet guy; how can I ever dump him just because he won't tell me what he and his friends are up to? Oh, I'm so ashamed!" She buried her face in her arms, very red.

"Don't worry, Jen, Remus is the good sort," said Y/n comfortingly, "he'll forgive your little outburst."

"Thanks N/n, I'm going to go and find him."

Then everything ended just fine for both thirteen-year-olds.

Winter had arrived, and the eight teenagers often huddled near the fire when they did their homework. On this particular night, however, Arabella Figg was completely fed up with her life.

"Maybe I'll burn myself like they did in the Witch Burnings of the Sixteenth Century," she said gloomily.

"You're thirteen and you want to commit suicide?" asked James in disbelief. He was sitting next to the fire (literally) and reading 101 Ways to Improve Your Quidditch Skills.

"I just can't wait until the holidays," she said, looking depressed.

"Mum is actually letting me stay for the holidays," said Y/n, looking cheerful.

James groaned. "I'm staying too. That means I have to be with you for two weeks?"

"How pleasant," said Y/n sarcastically, sinking into her chair again. "Well, I still have to finish my Charms essay."

"Are you kidding me?" asked James incredulously. "You already have two rolls of parchment! How much more do you have to write?"

"You see, Potter, this is why you're failing Charms," said Y/n practically, scribbling on her parchment. "You never go the extra mile."

"What mile? Is this some sort of race?"

Jennifer and Arabella both slapped their foreheads at the boys' confused faces. "Daft," they both muttered.

"It's a figure of speech," said Y/n, rolling her eyes. "Going the extra mile means doing more than required."

"Oh...well, in that case, no, I never run the extra mile," said James, obviously still confused. Arabella burst out laughing.

"So this is how daft you've become!" she exclaimed, chuckling.

Y/n smiled, shaking her head. What idiots for friends I have, she thought. Poor Potter – though he does look kind of cute when he's confused. Yeah, I think this is from lack of sleep.

Y/n was twisting and turning as she tried to sleep. Suddenly, the world became blissful for her as she dreamed she was bouncing on clouds, and she sat up straight, drenched in sweat.

"I have to go back to sleep..." she mumbled to herself thickly, as she drifted to sleep again.

"Y/n, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off..."

It was the sound of James panicking and Y/n crying as a jet of green light burst through and James hit the floor, dead.

"JAMES!" Y/n screamed, jumping out of bed. Arabella, Jennifer, and Violet woke up, their eyes wide.

"Y/n? What's wrong?"

"James...he's dead...he's dead..." mumbled Y/n. "He's dead, I have to go see him. He protected me and Harry, and he's dead."

The three other girls exchanged dark glances at each other.

"It was only a dream, Y/n," said Arabella quietly. "Maybe you should go see Dumbledore again—"

"Good idea, Bells, I'll do that," said Y/n quickly, and tore out of bed. In the common room sat James, wide-eyed.

"James? What are you doing here?" James turned around, surprised to see Y/n.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?"

"I had a dream," they both said in unison.

Y/n stared at him. "James—you're alive," she choked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, confused. "You're alive."

"And I'm supposed to be dead?"

"I had a dream about you trying to protect Harry and then...dying, trying to risk your life saving him."

"I had a dream about you trying to hold off the wizard who killed us and give me time to take a run for it with Harry."

James held on to Y/n tightly. "Look, Lily, we're both alive, and that's a good thing. Now, let's get back to bed before we fall asleep in Transfiguration tomorrow."

Y/n chuckled. "Let's."

"N/n, are you okay?" asked Arabella, as she nearly pounced on her best friend. "You—you just disappeared and I was so worried and..."

"It's all right, Bella, I'm fine," said Y/n, getting choked by her friend. "Now, if you'd let go of me..."

"Oh—right," said Arabella, blushing.

The next day, Y/n and James weren't talking. They had just had an intimate talk last night, and James had gotten himself his very first girlfriend, not counting Deanna. He had finally noticed how many girls there were at Hogwarts, he told Sirius, and how many he'd have to go through to find his "true" girlfriend. Y/n was furious about what he had said, and didn't talk to him for the rest of the week. She hated Melissa Andrews, the girl James was currently "dating".

"He chose that little idiot after all the nice girls he could have chosen," said Y/n furiously. "What about Lucieta Samson? She's in Ravenclaw and the nicest girl ever!"

"James is an idiot, Y/n, what's said is said," said Arabella practically. "He only goes through the idiotic girls in this school and would never look at someone like poor Lucy twice. I wish he'd look at you like he looks at Andrews, Y/n. You're perfect for someone with a big ego like him."

Lily laughed bitterly. "I would never want James Potter to look at me that way. Who'd marry him anyway?"

"Well, you are," admitted Jennifer, trying to look for her wand.

"Who knows, maybe he finally grew up when I married him."

"James Potter, grown up?" exclaimed Violet, surprised. "What madness is this?"

"Good job, Vi!" cried Jennifer in approval. "Let's claim this day as 'Speak-Ill-of-James-Potter' Day!"

Y/n snorted. "You guys are such dorks."

Jennifer, Violet, and Arabella linked arms. "Aren't we though? Dorks and proud of it!"

Y/n laughed.

"Hey Y/n, can I talk to you?" asked James nervously. He knew that Y/n was furious with him and was afraid to "liven" her up, as Sirius called it.

"No," said Y/n angrily. "Go away Potter."

James grinned. "Oh, touchy. Come on L/n, you can't hide away from me forever."

"Oh, yes I can," said Y/n defiantly. She pushed him away and walked off to her next class—Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Hey! Wait! I haven't finished yet!" Y/n heard James calling her, but she ignored him completely. Why would she want to talk to him? He had the biggest ego in the world, not to mention having about groups of twenty girls swarming him every day. She was sick of it all.

"Why would I want you to finish?" she asked him coldly, as James caught up with her. "You have the biggest ego out of every male there is in this school, and you take advantage of all the girls who swarm around you. What's your problem?"

"Y/n, I—"

"Stay away from me, James Potter. I don't want to be involved with players like you. Who knows, maybe I'll be in one of those traps of yours like all those other girls." She swung her bag over her shoulder and entered the classroom.

"Am I late, Professor?" she asked, ignoring James' feeble protests.

"No, no, Y/n, you're right on time," replied Professor Wickham, smiling at his student. "Now, where is Mr. Potter—?"

As if right on cue, James burst into the classroom. "Professor," he gasped. "I—I hope I'm on time."

"Yes, James, right on time. However, I would advise you and Ms. L/n to maybe arrive a little earlier next time." His eyes twinkled as he winked at Y/n and James as they sat down.

"Yes, Professor," said Y/n politely. James grunted and took his seat beside Sirius, while Y/n sat next to Arabella.

"Where were you?" mouthed Arabella, as Y/n sat down.

"I'll tell you later," Y/n mouthed back.

As class started, Y/n took her dutiful notes as usual, while Arabella slept (as usual). Remus was too absorbed in his note taking, and Peter too absorbed in sleeping, to notice Sirius and James' serious (no pun intended) conversation.

"What was that all about?" whispered Sirius, as he took some random notes about goblin rebellions.

James was trying his best to avoid the topic. "Sirius, why are you writing about goblin rebellions?" he asked hastily. "This is Defense Against the Dark Arts, not the History of Magic class."

"What—oh! Well, you know, all the notes are the same, so you may as well say the same thing," said Sirius complacently. "Now, about you and Y/n..."

"She won't listen to me," confessed James. "She totally hates me."

"She's always hated you, Jamie-boy," hissed Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"She's disliked me, not hated me," corrected James.

"You even said it was the same thing." Sirius' voice was dripping with sarcasm and boredom.

"Well, I don't blame her," said Sirius, surprising James. "I mean, you totally ignored her today at breakfast when you guys had your little 'conversation' last night. Then you called her a you-know-what, and I would be upset about it, too."

"I apologized," argued James.

"So? You're not acting like you're sorry, James."

"You sound like you're on her side," said James grumpily.

"That's because I am on her side, Jamie." Sirius' voice was very serious now and very unlike his usual playful tone.

Across the other side of the room, Y/n and Arabella were having their own note-passing conversation (Y/n had pointedly refused to talk in whispers).

You can't stay mad at James forever, Y/n.

Oh yes I can, Bells. I can stay mad at him until the end of the world.

But Y/n, if you stay mad at him forever, what about Harry? He'll never be born! And it's his destiny to live in this world.

::sigh:: Yeah, you're right, Bella, but...I just can't forgive him now. Do you know what that idiot called me?

What?

Five letters, begins with a 'b'.

He didn't!

He did.

Why, that little...

Sh! Bella, quiet!

Why? This is written on paper, Y/n, not said out loud. ::rolls eyes::

Yeah, you're right. Hey, Wickham is looking our way. Let's ditch this paper.

That would be a very good idea.

"I'm dying to know what they've written about," said James eagerly, as the bell rang. He grabbed the piece of parchment that the girls carelessly threw in the wastebasket and read it, dropping it back afterwards.

"What did it say?" asked Sirius curiously, looking from the basket to James' red face.

"L/n told Arabella what I told Y/n," said James, shaking with anger. "Why, that little—"

"James, you've been treating Y/n horribly," said Remus quietly. "Tomorrow is the first day of the holidays, and I suggest you go apologize to her."

"No way will I spoil my first day of the holidays apologizing to her."

"Come on, four-eyes, give in." They turned around to see Arabella glaring at all four of them.

"You hate me now," said James bluntly.

"No." He turned to look at her, surprised. "You just don't get it yet, James Potter. I know you'll give in to Y/n someday, and do whatever she wants, but not yet. You need time, James. Time is what's pushing you and Y/n farther than you should be." With that said, she left without another word.

"That girl really never ceases to amaze me," commented James, still dazed after Bella left.

"Yeah, isn't she great?" asked Sirius dreamily. "I am so glad she's my girlfriend. We belong together; I know it."

"So does the rest of the school, Sirius."

Sirius whacked James in the head. "Hey, shut it Potter. I have a proper girlfriend, unlike that Melissa Andrews. What were you thinking, dating something like her?"

James shrugged. "I'm planning to dump her tomorrow anyway. Bella is right, Sirius. The only thing that's standing between Y/n and me is time. And I'm not going to let it stand there forever."

Y/n was awake early the next day. Christmas was in one week and she would spend it without her family. Of course, she was slightly unhappy that her parents wouldn't be there, but joyous that Petunia wouldn't. And none of her friends had left for the holidays, which was a good thing, for they could spend it all together.

"I'm glad—and surprised—to see you up early, Bella," she said, grinning, as her half-awake friend stared across the table. Y/n looked over to see what she was staring at and saw Melissa Andrews crying by herself at the Hufflepuff table. She rolled her eyes and started to eat, ignoring the blue-eyed blonde crying her eyes out.

"I'll bet you Potter dumped her," she informed Arabella. "He could never keep a girlfriend, ever."

"I actually feel a bit bad for Andrews," said Arabella. She slapped her forehead and grinned stupidly at Y/n. "I think I really needed that."

Y/n rolled her eyes just when the rest of her friends and the Marauders entered the Great Hall.

"Oi! Potter!" she called, as he passed her seat. "I suppose even Melissa Andrews isn't good for you, huh? I guess you'll be going through the Slytherins next."

James glared at her and sat down next to Violet. "I didn't know she was that evil. I think L/n could pass for a Slytherin," he said, to no one in particular.

Violet gasped and glared at him, moving to a different spot. He heard Peter sigh audibly and looked around at everyone.

"Why is everyone so mad at me?" he asked Sirius.

"Because you've been acting like a great prat, James, no offense."

James turned to Sirius and said quietly, "I'm going to apologize to her right now."

He got up and walked to where Y/n was sitting. Her three friends looked up and saw him towering over them, and nodded their heads, smiling. James cleared his throat just when he reached Y/n, but Y/n jumped up and ran out of the Great Hall. He sighed, and followed her, assuming that she went back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked as he approached the portrait, panting.

"Pig snout," he gasped, clutching his chest for breath.

He rushed up to the girls' dormitory where Y/n was sitting on her bed, staring at nothing in particular.

"Y/n, you have to forgive me," said James, a pleading look in his eyes. "I—I broke up with Melissa. I knew she wasn't the one for me, I just wanted to impress you."

Y/n's head shot up and stared into his eyes. "To impress me?" she croaked. "Why?"

"I have no idea," admitted James. "I've been a great prat, I know, and I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

Y/n sighed. "I may as well, since you're giving me no peace at all. I forgive you."

"Thanks." James breathed a sigh of relief. "Friends?"

"In your dreams, Potter."

They walked into the Great Hall together, where their friends were eagerly discussing something in whispers. They grinned when they saw Y/n and James standing next to each other.

"Are you guys friends?" asked Violet hopefully.

"Nope," they said in unison. "But we don't hate each other anymore."

"So do you like each other?" asked Sirius, confused.

"Nope."

"Then what are you guys?"

"We dislike each other," they said together. Everyone rolled their eyes and laughed.

"Well, I guess some things never change," said Arabella, looking hopeless.

"That's a good thing," replied Remus, grinning.

The six friends smiled at Y/n and James chatting and arguing together, knowing that the two would give in...someday, if not now. And they would be in for a love story greater than life itself.

tags; @thecurlyhairedwinchester

masterlist

#amarauder writings #it's a hate-love thing original version #james potter x reader

9 notes · View notes

namorres · 6 years

Text

no matter what.

pairing | remus lupin x reader

word count | 3034

warnings | none

note | i think most of us agree that Andrew Garfield would be a great young remus but that’s neither here nor there- i love remus and I apologize for making him all insecure and sad but it’s also happy so yeah side note: i was inspired by a prompt i found online (listed below) and it’ll be in the story also reader is a gryffindor because that makes everything easier on me that’s all kay thanks bye

Prompt from the internet: “Let us all be unique together until we realize we are all the same.”

harry potter masterlist | request

___

Everyone knew that Remus hated who he was. And no, not the bookworm, honestly kind of a mess, always wearing sweaters teenager, but the werewolf that came out once a month. He loathed the beast that came out and tormented not only himself but others without his control. It wasn’t fair to him, and he thought it unfair to everyone he had to inflict it to. He chose to keep himself away from relationships and people who weren’t James, Sirius and Peter, because they chose to be apart of his life and to help him through the chaos.

Then he met you.

It was third year when you crossed paths in the common room. Everyone had gone home for Christmas holidays, except you. Your family was away on holiday and couldn’t bring you along, so you were stuck wandering the halls of Hogwarts during the cold season. You found yourself in the Gryffindor common room, reading by the fire, when you heard the portrait hole open. In tumbled a boy who looked to be in your year, with sand colored hair and green eyes. He had small scars along his face and when he saw you his eyes widened and he became nervous. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle or bother you.”

You shook your head and waved your hand like it was no big deal- which it wasn’t. “You didn’t scare me at all. Come, sit. I’m sure the couch and fireplace are much warmer than standing in the opening,” you patted the seat next to you, “come on. I don’t bite.” He took a couple steps and sat next to you, picking up a book that was on the table. You stared at him for a moment; he seemed so familiar but you couldn’t put a name on him.The two of you sat in silence before you spoke up again. “I’m y/n by the way. Third year.”

“I’m Remus. And I know, I sit a couple rows behind you in transfiguration.”

“Oh! Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

You went back to reading for a second before huffing, marking your page and closing the cover, and sitting cross-legged on the couch, facing him. You were curious about this boy and why he seemed familiar, yet you were just now learning his name. “Is there somewhere else I know you from?” You finally asked. He quickly looked up and turned to you, a curious expression adorning his normally shy features.

“You might know my friends? We call ourselves the marauders-”

“THAT’S RIGHT! You’re friends with James Potter and Sirius Black aren’t you?”

“Yes, and Peter Pettigrew. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them really.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. I’ve seen your marks in class and you’re clearly a very bright wizard-”

“That’s not exactly what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I would prefer not to talk about it.” He stood up and sighed. You frantically grabbed his wrist and looked at him apologetically.

“Hey! I didn’t mean to cross a line. Please don’t leave, I don’t have anyone else here,” you pleaded. He turned back to you and showed you sympathy, sitting back down.

“It’s alright. I don’t have anyone else here either,” he paused for a moment and looked at you, his green eyes seemingly trying to figure you out. “Why are you all alone here on holiday?”

“Well…”

The two of you talked for hours back then. You laughed and joked and realized that you had a lot of similar interests. By the time that the holidays had ended and Hogwarts was beginning to fill up with students again, you and Remus had established a pretty solid friendship. Sure, there were still plenty of things that you didn’t know about the Gryffindor boy, but you didn’t care; you were friends and that’s what mattered to you. However, that put you and Remus in a difficult position- where would you stand with the rest of his friends?

You were chatting happily with Remus and Lily Evans when you heard the quite loud return of the three long awaited marauders. The entire common room turned to see the commotion only to return to their activities just as quickly as they had looked. The three boys laughed and joked, and upon seeing Remus, they raised their arms and wrapped him in a group hug. You stood back and giggled next to Lily, who simply smirked and rolled her eyes. The four boys laughed together before they pulled apart and already struck up a conversation. It wasn’t until their eyes fell on you that you became a little red in the face.

“And who might you be?”

“I’m, uh-”

“This is y/n. We met over break. She’s pretty great and makes for excellent company,” Remus spoke for you. You smiled and thanked him silently. The three marauders looked at each other before poking fun at the fourth.

“Remus has a giiiirlfrieeeeend!” They sang at the same time. The group of you laughed and exchanged memories early into the morning.

You learned about his little… friend… your fourth year.

You had established pretty good friendships with all of the marauders, although the small feelings you developed for Remus never wavered. You enjoyed playing pranks with Sirius and James, feeling at home and safe with the boys within the magnitude that was Hogwarts. You couldn’t have asked for a better family. You protected each other and made sure to be there for one another through thick or thin. That’s why one fateful morning scared you half to death.

You were finishing potions homework for Slughorn on a morning you had off, when James bursted through the portrait hole, breathing heavily with a scared look in his eyes. You yelped at the disturbance he created within the quiet of the common room, when he seemed relieved to see you. “Y/n, we have to go.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me, please, it’s important.”

“James, what’s going on? What on earth could you need at 6:30 am on a Saturday?” You began, standing from you seat.

“It’s Remus. He’s asking for you and he’s in the hospital wing and-” you were out of the common room faster than he could speak. The words ‘Remus’, ‘hospital’, and ‘wing’, were enough to startle you more than you would have liked to admit.

“Well why didn’t you say so?! Come on!”

You beat him to the hospital wing.

There laid Remus, seemingly weak but alive, with Sirius and Peter on one side of him. When he saw you he gave a small smile, and your eyebrows furrowed in worry. He was covered in minor scratches and bruises, and seemed to be very sore, as he was rubbing his shoulders absentmindedly. “Remus… what happened?”

“It’s a long story…”

“Well I’ve got time.”

“I’m afraid that you might not want to be friends with me once you know.”

“Remus just bloody tell me, I’m not going anywhere, especially not when I’m this worried about you.”

“I’m a werewolf.”

“You’re a… a what now?”

“A werewolf. Have been since I was five. I turn into a beast once a month. I am harmful to people. Many of those people hate me. I-I understand if you hate me too.”

“Remus,” you moved to his open side and placed a soft hand on his cheek. “I could never hate you. I honestly wish you had told me sooner.”

“R-Really?”

“Yes. If I had known then I could brew wolfsbane to help keep your transformations a little more tolerable. But I understand why you kept this hidden as well. It isn’t necessarily something to be ‘proud’ of and you wouldn’t know how I’d react.” He nodded silently. “But, I am proud of you for enduring this as long as you have. You are incredibly brave.”

The lot of you stayed by his side throughout most of the day while he recovered, and you felt a small sense of goodness and peace inside you as you knew that Remus would be safe; for now at least.

He asked you to Hogsmead your fifth year.

You were completely caught off guard and honestly a little confused. “Remus, we always go to Hogsmead together. I was just waiting for Lily actually-”

“No, I mean- ah- uh…” he kept cutting himself off.

You furrowed your brows and held his hands in yours. “Remus are you alright? You’re shaking and you’re turning a little red.”

He took a deep breath and looked you in the eyes, smiling a quivering smile. “I mean, will you go with me. Just us. T-Together. O-Only if you want! Ah, geeze this was a mistake.” His hands were shaking harder.

You felt yourself blushing at the sandy haired boy and his attempt to ask you out. You searched his green eyes and gave his hands a squeeze, rubbing the backs of them with your thumbs. “Remus I would love to.”

“R-Really?!” He seemed so excited. You nodded and he let out a short giggle before hugging you tightly. You wrapped your arms around his neck in response before pulling away.

“I really like you Remus. I was wondering when you’d ask me.”

“Well I really like you too. I guess it just took a little courage.”

The two of you were about to leave but you remembered to call behind you, “LILY! I’M HEADING OUT WITH REMUS! DON’T WAIT UP!”

“GOOD! IT’S ABOUT TIME!!”

You blushed and nudged Remus out the portrait hole.

Hogsmead seemed different now that you were here with Remus intentionally. You found yourself suddenly caring about where you were going, although, you would have gone anywhere with Remus. You giggled quietly as he carefully laced his fingers with yours, keeping his head forward even if you could still see how red his cheeks were getting. That’s not to say you weren’t blushing too- because you definitely were.

Things were lighthearted and fun between the both of you; you shared hot chocolate in the Three Broomsticks and attempted to avoid the cheeky looks from your friends. Wandering around the snow covered village was more fun than you would have admitted, mostly just because of Remus being there with you.

The two of you joked and laughed with each other, and ended the day late into the night, back in the common room like the night you met. Your head was on his shoulder and his arm was around you, as you embraced the warm glow of the fire.

“Remus, can you believe that two years of friendship has lead us up to this point? Finally being together. I don’t know it just… fits.”

“Mmm,” he hummed back.

You glanced upward at him, seeing that his eyes were closed and his ears were open, listening to the fire. You could tell after a few moments that his breathing had evened out and he was asleep. You smiled gently and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. You found a throw blanket lying around and draped it over him. “Goodnight Remus.”

You pretended not to see his grin.

Your parents heard about your relationship your sixth year.

Needless to say, they weren’t very happy. Your owl had come in through a window in Gryffindor Tower and found you in your dorm during a short break between classes. You instantly recognized the red paper that landed in your lap and you sighed deeply. Why now? You opened the letter carefully and braced yourself.

“Y/N L/N!! HOW DARE YOU! A WEREWOLF OF ALL CREATURES!! YOU HAD ONE JOB: GO TO SCHOOL, BECOME AN INCREDIBLE WITCH, AND LIVE YOUR LIFE IN WIZARD SOCIETY. NOT DATE AROUND AND RUIN OUR FAMILY’S REPUTATION! I REQUEST THAT YOU LEAVE THAT-THAT BEAST AT ONCE. HE IS A MONSTER TO ALL CIVILIZATION. IT’S A WONDER WHY HIS PARENTS DIDN’T ABANDON HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNG. HIDEOUS AND HEINOUS THING THAT IS. I EXPECT A REPLY THAT YOU’VE DONE WHAT I ASKED WITHIN THE WEEK. END OF STORY.” As the howler ended it’s message you sat stunned and almost near tears.

This wasn’t how they were supposed to find out about Remus. It wasn’t fair anyway- he was more than “just a werewolf”. He was kind, gentle, and the day he hurt you would be the day you were old, grey, and burying him after a long and happy life together. You sighed and gathered your things, heading to your next class. Despite the lecture from your professor, your parent’s words still stuck in your mind.

Remus was waiting for you during dinner and instantly noticed that something was wrong. He placed a kiss on your temple as you sat down. “Love? Are you alright?”

You gave a short nod and picked food for your plate. Remus was still clearly worried, but didn’t push it, still joking around with the rest of his friends. You stared at your dinner, not hungry and as you left the Great Hall, you pulled Remus aside.

“My parents know.”

“Know about what?”

“Us. Our relationship… you.”

“Oh! Oh…”

“Remus I- They want me to breakup with you.”

“I see. So they know about the…” he trailed himself off.

“Yeah. That’s why they want me to end it.”

“But, but that’s not fair. They can’t dictate our relationship.”

“I know I know.”

“You’re not going to leave me… are you?” His eyes were full of worry and fear. You hugged him tightly and you felt his fingers in your hair.

You nuzzled your nose into his chest. “Never Remus. Merlin I could never bring myself to do something like that. I love you too much.”

“Y-You love me?”

“Yes. I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too. Goodness y/n I don’t think I could love another person more than you.”

“As sweet and wonderful as this moment is, I still have a problem. What am I gonna do about my parents?”

“Tell them the truth. They deserve to know it even if they don’t like it.”

“Remus, they’ll disown me.”

“Then I’ll be your family. All of us, James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Marlene, and anyone else at Hogwarts. We’ll be your family. We always have been, and we always will be.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes as you hugged him tightly. You really couldn’t love another person more than him.

Sixth was your current year, and you began to notice a lot more insecurity within Remus, although he wouldn’t let it show. He began to brush you off after a full moon and you would notice him muttering to himself as he, what you guessed, was reprimanding himself. He would disappear during most evenings. He was thinking he claimed. One night you caught him right before he left, and you asked him to sit with you by the fire. He fidgeted with his hands as he stared into the flames. You carefully placed your own on top of his. You looked at him gently.

“Remus, is everything alright?”

“Y-Yes. Everything is fine y/n.”

“You know I don’t believe you.”

“I know.”

“So, care to share what’s going on?”

“Why are you with me?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Why are we together? Why are you with me?”

“Because Remus, I love you. You’re kind and gentle with everything that moves, and you love your friends more than anything. Why wouldn’t I want to be with you?”

“I’m a monster y/n. I am a monster who should hide and be taken away from all society. I’ve been angry with myself because I hate that I have to inflict this on you, someone who I care so deeply for. I’m always worrying you and I feel like you’re walking on glass around me all the time. I hate that, even if I haven’t physically hurt you, I’ve still caused a strain in our relationship and made things different. If I weren’t like-like, this then maybe things would be different. Maybe if-”

“Remus. I’m not asking for maybes. I’m not asking for things or you to be different either. I love how things are. I worry because I love you. You should be concerned if I stopped worrying about you suddenly. I love getting to help and take care of you Remus. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean that you are different. You’re still a person, and you’re still Remus John Lupin. Let us all be unique together until we realize we are all the same. We all have differences that make us individuals, but at the end of the day, we’re all people, and you’re still a person. Werewolf or not. Don’t ever doubt that. No matter what.”

He looked at you for a moment and you were worried that you made no sense, until he took your face in his hands and kissed you slowly. It was as soft as he was, and you found yourself smiling into it. As he pulled away from you, he rested his forehead on yours. “I love you. Thank you for everything y/n. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Please Remus. It’s me who should be thanking you.”

“Why?”

You kissed his nose. “For staying with me that night. I don’t think we’d be where we are if you hadn’t have stayed. What made you do that?”

“I thought you were cute. And I just knew that no matter what happened, we would become friends.”

“Well, thanks for taking a chance on me.”

“And thank you for sticking around.”

“Come on Moony, it’s late and I don’t want you hating on yourself so late at night. Why don’t we cuddle instead and just fall asleep?”

“I like that so much more.”

Just as the both of you were heading up to his dorm, he pulled on your arm to stop you. “Hey, y/n? Maybe we should just, stay here. Like old times?”

“I’d love that Remus.”

The two of you went back to the couch and wrapped a throw blanket over your shoulders. You leaned your back into his chest and closed your eyes, letting sleep and your memories overtake you early into the morning.

endnote: I’m sorry I keep taking eight years to ever post anything :’)

tag list: @rottendaisies

#harry potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #harry potter imagine #mel's writings

72 notes · View notes

takealottodragmeawayfromreddie · 6 years

Text

Filling the blanks - Chapter 5

Playlist on Spotify (mostly songs about Heaven and duel related stuff and 1980s hits)

Pairing: Richie x Eddie x Bill (Reddie at the start).

Summary: During his last moments, Eddie realized he had something to say, but before he could finish the sentence, he was gone. Now he’s stuck between life and death and he knows he won’t be able to rest until he takes care of what he started. The only person he trusts enough to help him is Bill.

Or: The ghost AU where Eddie’s spirit can get inside of Bill’s mind to ask him for help to tell Richie he loved him.

Warnings: Canon Divergence (IT actually kills Audra) and, of course, death of major character. Some internalized homophobia in this chapter (still some use of the F-word). Stay safe.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

AO3 LINK

Playlist on Spotify (mostly songs about Heaven and duel related stuff and 1980s hits)

Special thanks to my lovely beta-reader @golden-marauders who is always extra nice and good at what they do.

The last time Eddie saw Richie crying, he was about to say a sentence that was meant to never get finished. Now that he did it, now that he said it, now that the unbearable weight of silence is lifting off of his chest, he doesn’t feel any better and Richie is crying again.

“You…” he starts, covering his mouth with both hands as tears finally fall from his eyes, “No, you’re lying. This is all… this is too fucked up, Bill. Please drop it.”

Eddie sighs and tries to walk towards him, reaching out, as if one touch could be enough to demonstrate he’s telling the truth. But Richie won’t let him. Instead, he jumps back as if his fingers could burn him. When he lowers his hands and closes his fists —not as in an attempt of physical aggression, but in a coping mechanism that looks almost child-like— Eddie notices his lips are trembling. He had never seen him this vulnerable before.

“Just leave,” Richie begs, voice broken, “It was a super funny joke, okay? I don’t care anymore. I promise I don’t care anymore. You don’t have to say sorry or anything at all, alright? Just get out of my house, please.”

“Richie…” Eddie pleads, in the same tone.

“Bill, please, I’m telling you it’s fine, okay?! It’s fucking fine. I’m not mad, I just want you to leave.”

Eddie wants to insist. Even after that word and how it made him think he didn’t love Richie anymore for a brief instant, Eddie wants to take his honesty to the end and make sure his friend believes him. They both need that. However, he can’t get any sound out of his throat. Damn, he can’t even get air through it.

Richie’s eyes go wide and all supplication disappears when he stops for a second and sees what’s going on. Eddie wraps a hand around his own neck as his expression mutates from merciful to completely terrified. His breathing speeds up and becomes frenetic, desperate.

“What?” Richie asks, worried for the first time in the whole night, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m… Fuck, I can’t…”

F-fuck, no…

Bill understands quickly and tries to take control again, but be it because of Eddie not wanting to let him or because of his reaction being too strong for allowing him to do that, he can’t. It’s like trying to wreck a brick wall only with his mind, and he keeps hitting against it as their vision goes blurry with every thrust.

Eddie is all alone in this. He arches his back and runs a nervous hand through his hair, gasping like a fish out of water while Richie watches, frozen, still incapable of facing what’s going on.

“Beep beep, Bill, you’re starting to freak me out,” he warns. It’s not a threat; just a warning.

H-he’s not me!

“Richie, please…” Eddie implores, “I can’t breathe! I’m having an…”

Please, do s-something! Richie, h-help him, he’s not… l-lying!

Bill throws his metaphorical fists against this imaginary wall, hoping Richie will listen. He knows Eddie is not okay. Even without a body to feel it, he can tell.

“What the fuck? What do you want me to do? I…”

Eddie’s face turns red and his legs go weak, causing him to fall on his knees. Using his good hand, he frantically checks his clothes.

“Where my… where’s my in-…” he mumbles, sounding more and more out of his mind. And then he remembers, “Shit, I left it in my other body!”

“Man, seriously, this is…” Richie starts, confused and uncomfortable, his eyes going everywhere but in Eddie’s direction.

“Please!” Eddie cries, “Please help me, I can’t breathe. I really… Shit, I’m… I can’t…”

R-Richie, please! You know who h-he is! You know it’s Eddie!

Eddie looks up at Richie with pleading eyes, hand still on his own chest, breathing still fast. Richie hesitates. He’s clearly scared and something inside him has to tell him this is serious, but disorientation won’t let him react. He stares down at him, eyebrows curved with concern and fear. His thumbnail is trapped between his shaky lips.

“Please…”

Richie sighs, still shocked, still panicking, but with a new-found determination that can only be awaken by deep trust in a friend.

“Okay, you really wanna go all the way with this. I know what to do, get up.”

He takes his hand and tries to pull him up. However, it’s like grabbing a string and he just manages to get him a few inches away from the ground before he falls again.

“What—?”

“Sorry,” Eddie breathes out, “I can’t… I don’t control this arm.”

“Oh my fucking God,” Richie grumbles before recovering a heaviest confidence in his voice, “Fine, let me…”

He lowers himself and puts his arms around Eddie’s waist. Eddie rests his hand on Richie’s shoulder as they finally succeed to get him up. Then they go back to the corner sofa and Richie makes sure he’s alright.

“You good?”

Eddie nods.

“Awesome, I know what to do, just… Wait here and don’t you move, okay?”

“Like I could go anywhere!”

“Keep up the amazing work!” Richie shouts, rushing out of the living room, upstairs.

Eddie lays back against the back of his sit, sighing while trying to get a grip of his breathing.

You’ve got to… c-calm down, Eds. Richie’s gonna h-help you, yeah? J-just breathe with me. In and out.

Bill guides Eddie for the next minutes until Richie comes back, only to pass in front of them at the speed of light and rush into the kitchen. They hear water running and doors being opened and slammed, before their friend returns, still running and holding up, like it’s some kind of war trophy, an object Eddie can’t identify.

He doesn’t get to ask what it is, because as soon as he opens his mouth, something made of plastic goes in and shots a sweet substance into his throat. He closes his eyes when he recognizes the feeling, his breath easing down, his muscles relaxing.

“That’s it,” Richie says, “So much better, huh?”

“Yeah,” Eddie quietly confirms as the inhaler leaves his mouth.

Richie sits beside him and rubs his back in comforting circles.

“How you doing, buddy?”

“I’m… I’m okay now… Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Eddie rejoices in the possibility of breathing normally again for a while, but once his eyes are open and he rationalizes what happened and what’s laying on the coffee table, the only thing he can do is wondering why.

“Why do you… Why do you have this?”

Richie seems taken aback by the question, but he soon laughs it off.

“Oh, you mean this old thing? Well, I…”

He closes his mouth, looking for the right word to say. Or maybe the most acceptable way to explain it. His hand is no longer rubbing Eddie’s back.

“Go on?” Eddie encourages.

Richie sighs, scratching the back of his neck.

“You probably don’t remember this but… One day, when we were kids, you… I mean him… I mean…”

“You’re talking about Eddie?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you can say ‘you’.”

He doubts for an instant, but almost immediately nods.

“Alright, so… your mom said really shitty things to you. Like, super heavy stuff. And you were so upset you came to hang out with us and you… you forgot your inhaler. And that same day, you had an attack.”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Eddie concurs, “It was horrible.”

“We managed to calm you down, but… we thought we’d lose you. Until It, I never thought… I never thought there could be anything in the world that could scare me that much.”

He reaches out and grabs the inhaler again, staring down at it and turning it around between his fingers.

“So I began to carry this thing around. In case you forgot yours.”

Eddie is speechless. He takes the inhaler from Richie’s hands and looks at it, too. The weight of it, its texture, its shape… its realness is overwhelming.

“Rich…”

“And when you found out about the bullshit it turned out to be, I remember I went and asked my dad what ‘gazebo’ meant. He chuckled and said ‘I’ll assume you mean placebo’ and then explained it. I asked him how could I make one and he answered that anything could be a placebo if the person who was taking it believed it would help, but the easiest way to do it was with water and sugar. So I started to fill the inhaler with that.”

“But… we knew it was bullshit. We knew it didn’t work.”

“Maybe it didn’t work… but it did help you.”

Eddie can’t help but smile. A soft, barely noticeable smile.

“It did help,” he agrees, “Thank you, Richie.”

“I never knew why I couldn’t get rid of it. I didn’t remember you or anything that happened, but I felt like I had to keep it. When I saw you in the ground, gasping, I understood… I understood everything.”

After finishing the sentence, Richie runs his hands over his face while releasing a frustrated groan, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Fuck, this is so messed up,” he growls, “How can…? Ugh, I can’t believe you’re here. But, I mean… it has to be you. Bill was right, why would he lie to me about this? He wouldn’t joke like that. Not even I would joke like that!”

“Richie—”

“And… and… damn, we fought a demonic clown! What the hell? This shouldn’t freak me out as much as it does. This isn’t that weird!”

“To be fair, it is a bit weird,” Eddie chuckles.

Richie doesn’t laugh. Shocked as he is, all he can do is remain silent, his mind working intensely to review every detail of their meeting. Eddie can’t tell at what point he began to believe them, but now that he does, it’s clearly a lot to take in.

“Shit,” Richie suddenly gasps, moving his hands away from his own face.

“What?”

“Sorry, nothing, it’s just…” He smiles, shaking his head, “My cheek kinda hurts, you know?”

Eddie frowns, confused. And then he remembers.

“I’m sorry about that,” he mutters.

“It’s okay, I deserved it.”

Richie shrugs, downplaying the importance of the matter. Even though it makes Eddie feel better for a little while, they can’t pretend it didn’t hurt both of them. They can’t pretend he didn’t confess his feelings and they can’t pretend that word wasn’t said. Of all the creative ways Richie always had to insult people, none could be as harmful as that one. And still, he chose to use it.

“I’m sorry, too,” he finally declares, quiet and ashamed.

Eddie stares at him.

“You know, for calling you a fa—”

“It’s fine, just don’t repeat it,” he answers, hand in pocket and a sad look in his eyes.

He stands up from the couch, ready to leave the topic behind, the feeling of betrayal too strong to let him sit beside Richie without breaking down. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want any more fights over something he can’t change. Over something he no longer wants to change.

“Eds,” Richie insists, “you know I didn’t—”

“Seriously, Richie, it’s fine,” Eddie interrupts him, “You just said what you thought. It’s not like no one ever said that to me before. It just hurt to hear it from you.”

“But that’s not what I think!”

“Really?” he questions, turning back at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Really! I only said that ‘cause I thought Bill was joking. I thought he was disrespecting your memory, that’s all. If I knew it was you, I wouldn’t—”

“Good to know you wouldn’t call me a faggot in my face.”

“Spaghetti man, come on, you know I didn’t mean it like—”

“Don’t call me one of your stupid names right now!” he shouts, “Don’t call me one of your stupid names after calling me that.”

Richie’s eyes open wide at the sudden change in his tone.

“Eds, calm down, you know I didn’t—”

“No, no, please don’t say that again, it just made it worse,” he cuts him off, shaking his head.

“What?”

“Don’t go ‘oh, if I knew it was you, I wouldn’t have said I think you’re a faggot, I would have just keep it to myself’. It’s fucking horrible, okay?”

“But I really don’t have a problem with that, Eds! Really, it’s no big deal. I’ve got a lot of friends who are… who are like… like you!”

“Great, what do you want? A medal? You can’t even say it!”

“You don’t get it, it’s hard for me!”

“What? What is so fucking hard for you?”

“To… to accept you’re like them!”

Eddie feels his blood burning with anger.

I-I’m gonna fucking k-kill him…

“Why?” He reclaims, “Why, Richie? Why is not wrong for them but it’s wrong for me?”

“’Cause that’s what they wanted, Eddie!”

His voice comes out so loud it resonates in all the walls. It even feels like it resonates in the whole city, and now everyone in LA knows what they’re discussing. It’s scary and a part of Eddie wants to shush him, tell him to speak lower so no one will find out about his secret. But he’s not like that anymore. He doesn’t have to hide anymore. And all it’s left is confusion.

“Who?” he softly asks.

Richie looks down, not answering.

“Who wanted that, Richie?”

Eddie hears him gulp and waits. Seconds after, Richie slowly raises his head, looking at him in the eye. He seems troubled.

“Everyone,” he responds, voice barely above a whisper, “Bowers and his stupid friends, the idiots at school… Fuck, even your mother at some point. At some weird point.” He sighs, “Everyone in that hell town. And they were right.”

“Richie…”

“Look at this place!” Richie explodes, standing up and opening his arms to show what he means, “Pretty fucking amazing, don’t you think? Well, I bought it. I bought it on my own, no help from my parents or anything. I came to LA with nothing and here I am now.”

Eddie watches in silence.

“Look at my teeth.” Richie points at his own mouth, “See? Got them fixed! I got everything fixed. Life fucking smiles at me and asks me to take it home. No more huge glasses or people beep-beeping me. The whole country laughs at my jokes. I’m one of the better dressed men in this fucking city, goddammit! I fuck actresses, supermodels, pop stars. I can’t even get out of my house without a hot twenty-something beauty giving me her number.

”They said I wouldn’t make it, huh? They said I’d die a virgin, huh? They said I wouldn’t go anywhere. Well, joke’s on them! I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted. People think I’m hilarious, people think I’m smart, people want me to sleep with them. Go tell the thirteen year old nerd in Derry he would come this far. Go tell all those assholes that that loser would come this far.”

“Richie—”

“Oh, but wait, I’m not the only one. Haystack got hot, got the job of his dreams and married the woman he’s been in love with since he was a kid. Bev designs clothes for the gods, practically. She faced her abuser and won her own life over. Stan had a nice life. Sure, It fucked it up, but before that he got a wife he loved and he was happy with her.

”Bill became famous. He took all the shitty stuff that happened without even realizing it and turned it into something people would make him rich for. He married an actress and he was respected and no one cared about his stuttering anymore. People only wanted to hear what he had to say.

”Mike survived hell. Mike really survived hell. He sacrificed himself so all of us could live our lives. And yeah, maybe he didn’t make it as good as he deserved, but he still had a good job. He worked with books and history and all the nerdy stuff he loved so fucking much. It wasn’t perfect but it was something.

”We all made it. We all proved them wrong. Richie is actually funny, Ben is hot, Bev is more than just her body, Bill is more than his stuttering, Mike is more than the black guy and Stan was more than the Jew. But—”

“But Eddie was still the faggot,” Eddie quietly nods, looking down, “Is that what you’re saying, Richie? Is that what you think about me?”

Richie sighs.

“Ugh, why do I always have to be the bad guy?” He mutters, “No, Eds, that’s not what I mean at all! I just… I just really wanted them to be wrong about you, like they were about everybody else. I didn’t want them to win.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything. Bill has been completely silent for a while. Richie takes the beer bottle from the table and takes a sip.

“They didn’t win, Richie,” Eddie suddenly clarifies, “They almost won, they were winning, but… they didn’t win.”

Richie just stares back at him, puzzled.

“I know they thought I was just a faggot, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s what you think, too. ‘Cause… I’ve got a job, too, you know? Not only a job, but my own business. I loved cars and I made them my living. I drove for actors, musicians, politicians. All kind of famous, respectable people that maybe you fucked at some point of your life. They trusted me with their safety ‘cause I was good at what I did.

”I had my own place, too. A very nice place. And a woman who loved me more than anything waiting for me there. That’s something I think you don’t have. I mean, I don’t see it anywhere.

”I was successful, I did everything I thought I wanted to do, but I wasn’t happy. Forty fucking years, Richie, and the only moment of true happiness I ever had was when I was dying. ‘Cause I finally understood. I finally had something that money couldn’t buy. And it felt amazing. It was the first time all that success translated into something I could really feel as mine. I would take those five minutes of ‘being just a faggot’ over years of ‘proving them wrong’ anytime.”

Eddie hasn’t stopped to really look at Richie until now. Although he seemed to be doing that during the whole speech, it was just to make a point and he didn’t care about how Richie was reacting then. Everything that mattered was showing how sure of his words he was. He was just trying to feel powerful. He couldn’t tell his mother and the people from Derry all of this, but he could tell someone who needed to listen. That was enough.

Now it’s time to analyze the consequences of that decision. It won’t change anything, he already said what he had to say and he isn’t planning to take it back, but he wants to reap the fruits of what he sowed.

Richie has his arms crossed and is looking down at his own feet. It’s strange, because Eddie expected a burst of attacks and insults, the kind of stuff that used to happen when someone confronted Richie when they were kids. Or simply a smartass response, something for his compressed fury to hold on. But he’s standing there, biting his lower lip, looking like a child who got called out by his parents.

He’s not that far away from what Eddie is saying. He’s close enough for Eddie to reach out and grab him and take him out from the bubble he is trapped in. Just the smallest of pushes…

“Maybe you should start asking yourself if proving them wrong is that worthy,” Eddie concludes, “For me it wasn’t. Do you think that you being unsatisfied with your perfect life will teach them a lesson? ‘Cause I think that’s what they really wanted.”

Richie doesn’t reply. He stays still, so encapsulated by his own, indecipherable thoughts that he’s no longer in the scene anymore. Eddie waits, but nothing happens. The bubble doesn’t pop.

D-drop it, Eddie. You did what you… h-had to do. Let’s go.

Eddie nods and turns around, walking towards the exit.

“Goodbye, Richie. Have a nice life.”

You deserve b-better.

His fingers are almost around the doorknob when it happens. Richie says something.

“Did you really mean that?”

Eddie turns back at him, skeptical.

“Mean what?”

Richie inhales deeply.

“You know… that.”

“I meant everything I said, Richie.”

“Yeah, but… Bill said you were…” he gulps, “In love with… with me.”

The answer takes a while to come, but when it does, there’s no shadow of reluctance on it. Confident as a bullet between the eyes.

“Yes.”

“Is that true?”

Eddie nods seriously.

“You’re in love with me?”

“Yes.”

“Not as friends.”

“In a homosexual way.”

“Yes.”

“In an ‘I would suck your dick’ kind of way.”

“Well, maybe not at this particular moment. I’m pretty fucking pissed off right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Richie exhales the smallest amount of air and sits back on the couch.

“Shit, this is… this is a lot,” he mumbles, “I… I don’t know what to tell you… When… when did it start? How did you realize? I know most people just wake up with the revelation that Richie Tozier is the hottest man on Earth, but… you? I thought you were better than that.”

“Could you talk like an adult for one second, please?” he complains, walking back to him, “This is not a joke for me.”

“Damn, Eds, I seriously hope it isn’t, ‘cause you’re giving me a heart attack.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Eddie whispers, sitting next to him, “This was such a stupid idea. Falling in love with you is such a stupid idea in general.”

“I know, right?”

“I’m sorry I told you.”

“I’m kinda sorry you did, too… You’ve… you’ve given me a lot to think, you know?”

“It’s always dangerous to make you think too much,” he chuckles.

Richie giggles, too.

“I could live without knowing it,” he admits, abruptly saddened.

“Yeah, but I couldn’t leave without telling you.”

“I don’t…” He releases a breathless laugh, probably feeling as stupid as Eddie feels, “Fuck, I’ve got to be really honest here, alright?”

“That’s all I’m asking from you.”

“I never… thought about you… in that way, you know? Well, I never thought about any of the Losers in that way. I just… I didn’t think about it. I never saw you like… more than a friend.”

Eddie can’t hide his disappointment. He knew it would happen, but it still hurts.

“I get it… Thanks for—”

“No, wait, there’s more.”

“Oh, fuck, there’s more…”

Richie turns a bit on his seat, now facing him. His lips are parted and convulsing in an almost imperceptible way, perhaps revealing that there are words behind them fighting for coming out. Eddie notices the thick ball of spit sliding down the insides of his throat. This has to be the hardest thing to say for him and Eddie is willing to wait all night long if he must. He came this far to tell his truth and he won’t leave without hearing Richie’s.

“Look, Eds, you never gave it a thought, as far as I know. I didn’t do it, either. It never crossed my mind. But… fuck, this really changes everything, doesn’t it? It’s like when a girl you’ve never been interested in says she wants you and then you start thinking ‘do I want her, too?’ I mean, that kind of thing.”

Eddie’s heart flips.

“Who am I in this situation?” he manages to ask, voice walking on a tightrope, “The girl?”

“Yeah! I-I mean, no. I mean… Fuck, this so hard to explain. I just… I’m just sitting here, trying to remember everything. I feel like… like I missed something. Like It’s still got a part of my memory. A super important part when it was obvious you wanted me and I didn’t notice. Some kind of hint, I don’t know. This is a mess.”

“No, it isn’t,” Eddie corrects him, almost smiling and taking his hand, “I feel like I missed something, too. It all hit me in one instant, too. But you know what? I didn’t question it. I didn’t review my whole life trying to find the exact point when I started… loving you. ‘Cause I didn’t feel like I had to justify myself. This is not a trial, I didn’t do anything wrong. That’s why I can’t tell you when I realized. I don’t have that answer, and if you really understood how I feel, you wouldn’t need it, either.”

Richie looks down, conflicted.

“Jesus fuck…” he whispers.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just… you’re holding my hand.”

Eddie looks down, too, and finds out he never let go. The warm presence of the back of Richie’s hand under his palm is terrifying. Everything that he can feel through Bill’s five senses is overwhelming somehow, but Richie’s fingers between his is another level of shock he isn’t prepared to tolerate. Still, he keeps holding his hand, experimentally caressing it with his thumb.

“Oh, yeah,” he confirms, “Want me to… to let go?”

Richie goes stiff.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, really. It’s just…” he gulps, “It feels… different… weird.”

“Oh… you mean good weird or—”

“Good weird,” Richie states, without a shadow of a doubt, “Definitely good weird.”

“Good weird is good.”

“Yeah… it’s good.”

They stare at their hands, mesmerized. They seem to fit together so perfectly, like they were meant to be. Eddie feels embarrassed for thinking that, for becoming such a cliché. He recalls the moments in their childhood when Richie would return from playing in the mud or holding frogs, and try to touch him with his dirty hands. Or when, in cold winter days, he would put them on his cheeks, making him screech from the freezing feeling. Or those legendary birthday parties, always finishing with Richie eating cake without a fork and running after Eddie with his fingers painted with chocolate just to freak him out.

He used to want Richie’s hands so far away from him. He used to hate them so much… and now he feels like he couldn’t live without them. Even without being actually alive, even after dying, he knows he would die again if Richie stops this.

Eddie looks up to his eyes again and Richie imitates him. He didn’t remember his eyes were so big. Maybe the glasses magnified them, but he never thought about them regardless that attention-calling trait. It’s like he never looked at him until now. And by the way his friend is staring back, he could say this is the first time Richie looks at him, too.

Then Richie chuckles.

“Holy shit, this is so embarrassing,” he confesses, shaking his head, “I’m sweating. I feel like an awkward twelve year old.”

“That’s how I feel all the time,” Eddie says, smiling.

“Fuck, man, it’s horrible,” Richie keeps laughing, “How do I make it stop?”

“I don’t know! I just… I don’t know.”

They stay like that for a while, irresistibly amused by their own unease. It’s the best thing they can do, now that their friendship is ruined, for better or worse. There’s no way they can dance around it forever. Be it for a nice closure or a temporal pain in the heart, this will take their relationship to a different place. A place that is scary for both of them, a place that could break them, but different, after all. They both know they need different more than anything.

“I can’t believe this,” Richie whispers, leaving all the jokes behind, “Shit, Eds, you’re here. I can’t… You came back, I’m talking to you. I never thought I’d get to talk to you again. This is… this is fucking insane! I feel like I’m going insane. You’re sure you aren’t It, right?”

“I promise you I’m not It,” Eddie smiles.

“I… Damn, I need you to understand how weird this all is,” he insists, running his free hand over his cheek, making him jump a bit, “’Cause I know it’s you. Like, I really know it’s you. But it’s also Bill. I mean, this is Bill’s face. And I’m so fucking confused.”

“It’s okay. I’m confused, too.”

“There’s so… so many things I want to say. So many things I could never even begin to—”

“Try, Richie,” he murmurs, altering between looking into his eyes and paying quick stares to his lips, “Please try. I wanna hear everything.”

Richie’s fingertips travel down the line of his jaw, until his thumb reaches his lower lip and gently caresses it. Eddie closes his eyes at the touch. It’s measured, tentative, like they’re testing unknown waters and don’t want to drown. Without even realizing it, he gives Richie’s thumb a soft peck.

“I’m so sorry, Eds,” Richie finally breaks, “I can’t believe I left you there. I knew you hated it, I knew you’d be scared, and still I—”

Eddie slowly opens his eyes.

“Stop that,” he begs, “You didn’t leave me there. Can’t you see? I’m here. Bodies mean nothing. When you’re gone —and I hope it happens when you’re very, very old—, you’ll understand that bodies mean nothing. They’re just… they’re just the shape we take to move around the world and feel sensory stuff, nothing else. I’m not in the sewers, I’m here with you. That piece of flesh is rotting and will never be found, but we’re sitting on your couch having a conversation right now. So please don’t apologize. You did what you had to do and I’ll never hate you for that.”

“I… Look, I know you’re right, but you don’t get it. You don’t know how much it fucking hurts. I watched my best friend die. That shit… that shit isn’t rational, it’s like Jackie Chan kicking you on the chest. It just… it hurts so fucking much and you can’t see that.”

“I know it hurts, Richie. Really, I do. It hurt to see you cry, too. That’s why I smiled. I didn’t want our last moment together to be a horrible memory or a traumatic thing. But it really hurt me to see you crying and how I couldn’t do anything to fix it.”

“Why did you have to do that, Eds?” he whimpers, “Nobody asked you to do that. We got ourselves in that place, you didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Would you let me die?”

Richie frowns.

“Sorry, what?”

“I’m asking you if you would let me die… if I wasn’t already dead. Would you have left me there, staring into the deadlights?”

“What kind of stupid question is that? Fuck, Eds, of course I wouldn’t.”

“Then why is it wrong when I do it? ‘Cause I didn’t do it out of pure friendship?”

Richie exhales a humorless laugh.

“No, really, tell me. Is it about me being gay for you? You think it makes it some corny big gesture from a romantic drama? Some Titanic bullshit?”

“Man, are you fucking serious? I’m glad you saved my life, I don’t care about the reason, but I’m kinda sad you had a horrible death, what’s so homophobic about it?”

“I told you I love you, you fucking asshole, and you can’t even give me a proper answer, but you’ll just say ‘nothing homophobic going on here’.”

“I just don’t have a proper answer! Sorry, Eds, I don’t! I’m fucking confused. I never looked at a man, and I know that’s something ‘straight’ guys say all the time, but it’s the truth. And now I’m not sure if I’m just thankful ‘cause you saved my life and sad ‘cause you died or if I’m…”

He goes quiet before saying it, but Eddie knows well enough. The only reason why he doesn’t interrupt him, is because he’s aware how bad Richie needs to say it. That’s a necessity he can definitely understand.

“I think you get the picture,” Richie finishes, ashamed.

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I know you didn’t come here to hear me say ‘I have no idea of what the hell is going on…’ I know you needed a ‘me too’ or a ‘fuck off.’ I’m sorry, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that. But… I guess that’s better than a ‘fuck off’,” he chuckles, “It isn’t a ‘fuck off’, right?”

Richie smiles, too.

“Not a ‘fuck off’ at all.”

“But it isn’t a ‘me too’, either,” Eddie sighs.

“Look, Eds, the thing is…” Richie starts, squeezing his hand for the shortest moment, “I don’t know.”

Eddie looks up at him, perplexed.

“What?”

“Guess this is one of those things that would be a lot easier if you really were here now. Like, your body. Don’t get me wrong, Bill’s eyes are stunning,” he laughs, “but… I wish I was looking at yours. Your real eyes, that now feed the family of a hard-working worm who—”

“Beep-beep, Richie.”

“Sorry, got a bit carried away. I just think… it’d be so… I mean, it shouldn’t be that complicated… if… you know… Ugh, I really want to ask you something, but I don’t know the straight way to say it.”

Eddie can’t help but laugh.

“Then say it in the gay way.”

Richie lets go of his hand, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, like an actor who is preparing to come out to stage. Damn, maybe he does that before acting. And now he’s doing it because of Eddie.

“Alright, I’ll just… say it, okay? But don’t get me wrong.”

“Richie, no one ever gets anything you say, just do it.”

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it! I’m just taking my time, ‘cause… Well, here I come… Can I… Can I kiss you?”

The request takes Eddie by surprise, giving him no chance of camouflaging his shock. His expression doesn’t go unnoticed for Richie, who doesn’t waste a second before start explaining himself.

“I mean, it’d really help me to figure out if… if it’s a ‘fuck off’ or a… ‘me too’… But, I mean, you don’t have to do it. I won’t make you do something you don’t wanna do. I’m not even sure I wanna do it, I just think it would help. And, you know, people say I’m a good kisser. Like, a girl once told me I was the only guy she knew who took his time and didn’t go for tongue-on-tongue action too soon, and that’s when I was nineteen, so it says a lot…”

“Richie—”

“And my ex-girlfriend, not the latest one but the one before her, went crazy when I did that thing… You know, the thing of…” He does a weird movement with his lips that makes Eddie want to run away and never come back, “And that’s a very popular thing. And I was in a romantic comedy like, four years ago, and Vogue said it was one of the best kisses of the year, so—”

“Richie, I—”

“What I’m trying to say is that you won’t be disappointed, if that’s bothering you, but you don’t have to do it if you—”

“Will you fucking listen to me?”

Richie shuts his mouth and gulps.

“Rich, there’s nothing I’d like more than kiss you right now, really, but… this is not my body. I’m not the only one you should be asking for permission.”

They both stay in silence for a while. Richie looks disenchanted, but Eddie can tell he knows he’s right. After everything Bill did to make this last goodbye possible, the goodbye life decided to take away from them, they can’t disrespect him like this. He’s their friend above everything else. Even above their questions.

D-do it.

Eddie jumps at the sudden voice inside his head. Richie goes alert like a hunter’s hound.

“What?” Eddie asks, dazed.

“Is he talking to you?”

“Shhh, I want to hear him…”

Do it if you w-want to, Eddie. It’s okay.

“Bill, are you… are you sure? This is still your body and still your decision. You’ve got the last word on it…”

I-I know. And I’m sure. You both need this… c-closure. I’m not stopping you.

“Fuck, this is… but do you really—”

Eddie, you asked me to t-trust you. Now I’m asking you to… t-trust me. C’mon, kiss him like you mean it.

There’s a complicity in his tone that makes Eddie smile. Richie, who only can hear a half of the conversation, is impossibly confused.

“He said yes?”

Eddie nods, practically shining with happiness.

“Fucking God, he said yes!” Richie exclaims, so excited he almost sounds like he just proposed. Then he takes Eddie by the chin and makes him lean to the side, shouting into his ear, “Thank you, Billy!”

“You know he can still hear you when you talk normally, don’t you?” Eddie groans.

“Oh, don’t you try to change the topic on me, Eds. C’mere and give daddy a kiss.”

And this is the moment when I leave you guys alone.

“Only if you don’t ever call yourself daddy again.”

“No promises,” Richie winks, putting his hand on Eddie’s chin again, this time to bring him closer to his face.

Eddie closes his eyes and gives in. There’s nothing else to do. This is the actual climax of his life. Not his graduation, not his wedding, not his final sacrifice; this. All those years of surviving without living were built specifically to come to this conclusion. Once Richie’s lips meet his, it will all be over. He has to make it count.

It’s a soft touch with the slightest of pressures. They stay together for a few seconds and all Eddie can think about is how unfair it is that Bill is the writer, not him. Because this is the kind of kiss he wished he could describe in the most delightful and detailed way, using all the literary devices that would make the great authors of history claim ‘purple prose, purple prose!’ and go after him with tridents and sharp pencils like a lynch mob. But he can’t do that. He doesn’t have the words to do that.

There’s so much life in this kiss, that’s the only thing Eddie can really say about it. The whole life of any human being could be summarized with this kiss. The hesitation and gentleness of every first kiss, the hunger for new experiences of teenagers who start to discover the other’s body, the trust and dedication of two friends who know they would literally die for each other. Everything compressed in such a simple, yet so meaningful gesture.

Richie’s lower lip caresses Eddie’s upper. Still a touch, no sound or wetness required. Eddie melts against the feeling, their noses rubbing together in an almost awkward way. Richie’s hand is on his cheek and he leans the side of his face against it. They keep brushing their lips together, surrendering to the overwhelming magic of being so close after they thought they had lose each other.

That’s how it ends. They separate and slowly open their eyes, trying to control their panting. Richie was right, it is like being twelve years old again. It feels so unreal, so unbelievable… but not unnatural. Unnatural is the only thing that doesn’t cross their minds.

“I love you, Richie,” Eddie whispers.

Richie bites his lip and groans. It kind of seems like he’s about to puke, but it’s not enough to qualify as a gagging.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back.”

“I want to…” Richie tells him, “I mean, I wish I could, but…”

“You’re not ready,” Eddie finishes, a sad grin on his face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t—”

“Someday I’ll be,” he hurries to explain, “Just… not today, Eds. Not when you need me to be ready. And I’m really fucking sorry for that.”

Eddie shakes his head, unexpectedly amused.

“Richie, I don’t need you to be ready. Now or in forty more years, I don’t need you to,” he smiles, taking his hand, “But, when you’re ready, I’ll be waiting for you… if you still want me.”

“It might take a long time.”

“Yeah, but… it’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you.”

Richie looks disconcerted for a while, and then laughs.

“Oh, fuck, I remember that song!” he says, “Shit, I… I remember everything.”

Eddie looks down.

“I’m gonna miss you, buddy,” Richie confesses.

“Yeah, me too, but we’ll see each other again… Very fucking soon if you keep up the cancer sticks.”

“And there he is. I’m officially convinced you’re Eds.”

“You still doubted it?”

They laugh again. Considering the situation, laughing is getting way too easy.

“We’re really… meeting again, aren’t we?” Richie dares to ask.

“Sure, why not? I mean, you’ve been my personal hell since we were kids. Like it would be so easy to get rid of you.”

“Now you’re just being mean,” he jokes, “And right when I was starting to think you were a friendly ghost.”

Not willing to listen to more nonsense, Eddie kisses him again. This time with more confidence, more possession, and all Richie can do is take it as it comes and throw his arms around Eddie’s neck, the thought of how no woman in all his life has kissed him like this or made him feel this way invading his mind.

But as soon as it started, it’s over. Eddie backs off and blinks a few times, as if he just came in and has no idea of what is going on. Richie gets it, no matter how much he wished he didn’t.

“He… he’s gone, isn’t he?” He asks, voice low and vacillating.

Bill bites his lower lip, eyes watering. He expected this to happen and he’s been preparing himself for it, but he still needs to convince himself he’s as upset as Richie is. Whatever takes his mind off the fact he can still taste Richie’s mouth on his own.

“I-I… I think he is,” he confirms. The next thing he knows is that they’re in each other’s arms, crying. “I’m so… s-sorry, Rich.”

Richie doesn’t answer. He limits to hold him tight, almost as if he was pretending that Eddie is hiding behind those clothes and hair and face. He refuses to accept a person, a whole person with a name and a job and lots of people around them, can disappear just like that. Being life the most important possession any human being can have, it can’t be fragile and volatile enough to fly out of a body in a mere instant and never come back. It can’t be that simple.

However, he has to face it. Eddie is no longer there. He’s gone. The only thing that exists right now is Bill. His good, old friend Bill, who is showing him support and empathy in a hug that says everything. Who went through all this work just to help both Eddie and him. Bill has to be enough. He must. He should.

Richie is doing all he can to turn this idea into his new religion and philosophy, when he notices something. Bill’s right arm is not holding him anymore.

“You really thought I would leave without saying goodbye?”

Richie grabs his shoulders and pushes him away, a shook expression on his face. Eddie laughs.

“You little shit!”

“I’m sorry…” he apologizes, still chuckling, “I really am, I just… you didn’t think I wouldn’t say goodbye, did you?”

“I don’t know, you’ve been such a spiritual pretentious asshole since you transcended and discovered the secrets of the fucking universe.”

He’s kinda right.

“Well, but I wouldn’t go like that. I mean, unless Bill wants me to…”

They silently wait for an answer that Bill is taking way too much time to give.

You can s-stay as long as you w-want.

Eddie smiles.

“He’s okay with it.”

“Shit, I knew it! Thank you, Billy!” Richie shouts into his ear again.

“Okay, but you really don’t need to do that.”

The three of them laugh.

“I hate to ruin the party,” Richie says, “but exactly how long are you allowed to stay before he recurs to the nearest exorcist?”

“I’ll have to ask him…”

I’ll be in LA for t-two weeks. I’ve got to fix some… st-stuff. You know, producers and e-everything. You can stick around ‘till I go back to England.

“We have two weeks.”

“Two weeks!” Richie exclaims, hopping out his seat, “But that’s such a short time and there’s so much to see! I won’t even be able to take you to all the shitty places where I go to get drunk or get high or get drunk and high or—”

“Richie, that sounds amazing, but I’m really tired and Bill has to be up super early tomorrow. We should get going.”

“Oh.”

“But we can see each other after Bill’s meeting. We could have lunch together and then you can take me to your… shitty places to get drunk and high, if Bill doesn’t mind.”

I don’t mind.

“He doesn’t mind.”

“Uh… well, that’s awesome. My worky things are in the morning, too, so… Guess I’ll see you then.”

“I guess so.”

After a few more uncomfortable chuckles, Richie walks them to the door.

“1PM tomorrow?” He smiles.

“Don’t be late, Trashmouth,” Eddie imitates him.

“Make sure to wear your lace underwear.”

“Please don’t wear the elephant boxers.”

“I threw them away! I’m too fat for them now, anyway… and long.”

“Too much information.”

“Yeah, definitely too much,” he winks.

Eddie rolls his eyes and laughs. They’re serious again before the previous jokes even get the time to settle in.

“You think this will work?” Richie asks, “I mean… us? This scary, weird new thing?”

“Rich, we bit the shit out of a child-eating demon clown… do you really think this is weird and scary?”

“Maybe not that scary but… clearly weird.”

“That’s what I like about you.” He gently holds his hand and squeezes it. “We’ll figure it out.”

Richie nods without hiding the soft smile that reaches his lips.

“Goodnight, Eds.”

“Goodnight.”

With everything said, Eddie turns around and starts walking away, into the dreamily darkness of the garden. Once he hears the front door shutting down, he lets Bill take control again.

“That went w-well,” Bill admits.

It wasn’t a ‘me, too.’

“It wasn’t a ‘fuck off.’”

Eddie doesn’t talk.

“Y-you’ll be fine, Eddie. Just trust me.”

Always.

Tag list: @trippy-alexissss

I know there was more people who wanted to be tagged, but I lost the list with their urls so, if you want to be tagged, please let me know and I’m so sorry for these problems.

#reddie #tozenbrak #bichie #kaspbrough #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #filling the blanks #it (2017)#it #the losers club #tw// internalized homophobia #tw// death

17 notes · View notes