#this is one of the murals from the set of Rivendell

[tolkienillustrations]

Eärendil and Elwing sail to the uttermost West by Alan Lee

#LOTR #Silmarillion #Earendil #Elwing #Vingilot #Belegaer #Alan Lee #this is one of the murals from the set of Rivendell #the inscription above the painting is the same as the title of the painting #I wish I could find a higher resolution version of this :(

[runawaymun]

Hey is there an elf headcanon you wanna rant about that's been tearing your heart out and using it as an embroidery tool? I feel like it's good for authors to get to air this out every so often.

this is has been sitting awhile just because I have been trying to figure out how to put the New Thought into words!

I've been thinking a lot lately about differences between Men and Elves and taking the consequences of what we know about how each interacts with Music to their logical end. So... this has somehow manifested in me thinking about how Elves build homes and decorate them vs how Men do. (and as per usual, this relates to Elrond and how he is different from everyone around him!)

Elves are super orderly and are bound to Arda and bound to their Themes...and they have all the time in the world to really think about their spaces and curate them. So I wouldn't say they're necessarily minimalist, but all of the decor is really built into the structure of the building -- especially for Noldorin Elves who like to Make Shit. So Elves don't really decorate with objects -- like, all of their objects are already inherently gorgeous in how they make them. Down to the silverware. So that's "decor" in a sense. But rather than clutter objects, you get beautifully wrought wall sconces and incredibly detailed murals -- stuff that got built into the building. And when it comes to soft items for making a space comforting, since they don't really spend hours on end sleeping and beds are more for relaxing & sex, and they don't feel temperature, I think they might just have like one or two pillows and one gorgeous coverlet and that's it.

Like they don't really get setting up objects around the room. But humans do it because we don't have the time to think so deeply and most of us don't necessarily build our own homes like that. We nest somewhere. So we bring in objects we love to surround ourselves with and sometimes it can get rather messy, and that's Really Weird to an elf. Especially if you're bringing in rocks/twigs/feathers etc. etc. because that has a home outside??? What are you bringing it inside for??? Leave it where it is???

And then this also brings me to Elves and clutter objects in general -- and collectables/gifts. And I can't remember if this is canon in Laws & Customs or something but I've just decided that you can't just give "raw materials" as a gift, short of flowers (but even then those ought to be arranged carefully into a nice bouquet). Like most Elves won't be mean if you hand them a cool rock you found but they'll just be confused.

Anyway this leads me to Elrond. I've already headcannoned that he has a level of nesting & bowerbird behavior from the Ainur genetics (What are Doriath and Mordor and Taniquetil but Big Nests? Rivendell = nest). And then, via Ainur have Bird Tendencies, that leads to bowerbird behavior of "I have a MATE and so thus I need to DECORATE" -- so naturally this leads to him absolutely going ham feral on Rivendell when he and Cel get married (hello pillows, hello blankets, hello clutter objects and ribbons and feathers etc etc. etc. oh Celebrian likes weaving?? Hi babe I bought you seven looms for your loom room!! Cel: "Wh--")

ANYWAY this brings me to the Mannish side of him, and I wonder how much of the decorating instincts are mannish. As well as the gifting instincts. And when he was younger he kind of learned that rocks & stuff aren't appropriate gifts. You gotta do stuff with that. And he just got super repressed about all of the collectibles and tried to keep that tamped down. Then Cel comes along and he starts leaving her rocks and she's like ????? and Gil's like that means he likes you. And once Cel gets the hang of this I think they make a great team. He collects cool shit and she does all of the crafting/carving/etc.

But yeah I've been thinking a lot about how Elves want things to be orderly, and how this might extend to even a room, and how each piece in that room is carefully designed and curated to be harmonious with everything else...and men, we just throw shit in there because We Like It.

#this is so hard to explain #but here have a ramble!! #thank you!!!! #tolkien meta #elrond #celrond

[fireworkreindeer]

The last one by @hybbat Hurt/Comfort, Joey! Empires S1. (Mention of Xornoth x Joey and Joey x Scott if that's okay)

"You know, I'm glad that Xornoth is gone" smiles Gem. "Yeah same. Sure, he's my brother but its better this way" Scott looks at the crystal in his hand and smiles. Everyone was happy. Everyone but Joey. He tried to smile, to be happy but deep down, he was still in love with the demon. The emperor slipped away before flying back to the Lost Empire. He landed in his jungle temple before sealing himself away from the others. He spent his days, tending to the crimson vines that still littered his empire, making sure that they were well kept and looked after. He made sure to seem pleased about the event if any other emperor asked, but it pained him time and time again as they all were happy that the love of his life was gone.

When Joey overheard that Scott had left his empire, he made it his goal to find the crystal to set Xornoth free. He changed into a more winter friendly outfit before taking to the skies to the snowy mountaintops of Rivendell. He checked Scott's home, looking around, seeing if anything would lead to some secret trap door but found nothing. He searched the enchanting tower and the village, but couldn't find anything. "Oh where is it?! Where would he keep it?" He picked up a stone and chucked it against the wall and the ground shook. In front of him the wall opened, leading a passageway into the mountain. "So.... A hidden button. Well played, Scott" he smirked. Stepping inside he saw a table with six chairs, a giant mural in front of him and some steps leading down. He walked and saw, in the corner of his eye, a red crystal. Xornoth. He turned and walked closer, extending a hand towards it. "Joey! What are you doing?" He turned around to see Scott. He looked.... different. His hair and attire was coated with ice, his hands were now a pale blue with tiny snowflakes covering them. He looked, not mad but, concerned.

"I want him. I want him free, Scott" he spoke, looking back at the crystal. "Joey, you know that can't be done. Look at what he did: He haunted Shelby, he tried to kill me, he even corrupted you!" Joey clenched his fist. "I don't care! He loved me, Scott. He was there for me and he cared. No one else has before" his voice faded into a whisper, tears running down his cheeks. Scott didn't want to do this, but he had to. The ice emperor hugged Joey. He held him close as the other emperor cried. "Joey... Xornoth used you. He manipulated you and used your love for him to make you do what he wanted. I'm sorry to say this: but he never truly loved you. And I know what its like to be all alone, hell, I just isolated myself for months in the frozen tundra so I know how you feel, but its okay. If you leave the crystal alone, I'll travel to your empire with you and stay for a while. Maybe it'll do us both some good and I'll even help you find your prince or king or knight in shining armour" Joey sniffs and breaks away, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I'd like that a lot, Scott. And who knows, maybe the tropical heat will melt the ice in your hair" Scott looked puzzled, reaching up into his hair, and began to touch the ice patches. "I knew I was cold, but not that cold" The two shared a laugh. Joey was glad that he had a friend like Scott.

Who knows? Maybe he will get his prince soon enough.

#Empires s1 #joey graceffa #xornoth #Joey x xornoth

[bookenders]

Lore of Vostel: Asho Lenora

[Since both of these giveaway stories will be set in my DnD homebrew world, Vostel, I thought I’d share some lore and world building! 

Up first is the elven city of Asho Lenora, which is inspired by Darnassus, Rivendell, and Lothlorien, with an artsy socio-political twist. ]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒆𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒔𝒉𝒐 𝑳𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒂

Legend says that during the time when the planes were aligned, Relkath of the Infinite Branches, a powerful Archfey, visited the area that is now Asho Lenora and planted a seed at the bottom of a great lake. He kissed the earth that covered it, sprouting a great tree whose roots reached the center of the world and stretched into the Feywild itself. The connection between worlds was strong, and as it grew, Relkath, admiring its splendor, walked in circles around the tree, sprouting great forests where his feet landed. 

When the tree was fully grown, the connection between the planes grew thin, and so Relkath blessed his greatest creation with fertility and eternal regrowth before retreating to the Feywild before the connection finally broke. The stories say that if the planes should ever realign, Relkath would go looking for his child and take it back to the Feywild with him, for being without its majesty for so long was a lonely life to lead.

Later, the elves would spread from the Feywild to settle these lands and name the great tree Asho Lenora, or “The Blessed Child.”

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚

🇹🇮🇪🇷🇸 🇴🇫 🇱🇮🇫🇪 

The capital city of Asho Lenora is organized into vertical tiers, or levels. It is widely known that the higher status you are, the higher in the tree you reside. However, the lower levels are the most active, and much of the city’s renown stems from between the enormous roots of the great tree. The military district resides within the hollows of the trunk itself.

The majority of the city lives just above the roots of the great tree. It is where the largest bazaars and markets are located and where the busiest traders make their coin. Each merchant must be approved by the tier’s council representatives. Here is where you will find the most diverse communities in the city. 

Levels 2-4 are on floating disks not unlike planetary rings. Each one surrounds the trunk and supports homes, businesses, and all manner of structures that make up the city. Level 4 is mostly homes and government buildings, while levels 2 and 3 are reserved for lower and middle class residents, respectively. 

Druidic magic is used to weave Asho Lenora’s architecture out of branches and vines. Elevators and stairs lead up to the higher levels. Most of the shadier markets are located underground, between the roots running beneath the waters of the lake.

Wealthier homes are located on the outer edges of the rings and have spectacular views of the forests surrounding the lake Asho Lenora has taken root in. The less wealthy reside closer to the trunk. 

There are two kinds of elevators that operate within the city. Wide round platforms carry livestock, vehicles, and imports up to each level. Smaller enclosed elevators run between various levels and can comfortably carry as many as 30 passengers at a time. These elevators operate by arcane means, and there are backup pulley systems in case of emergencies. If you do not wish to take the elevators, wide staircases spiral upwards between the levels, as well.

Because the canopy of the great tree blocks most natural light, mage lights are scattered about the city. In addition to the wandering lights, certain branches have been enchanted with daylight that mimics amount of light granted by the sun’s position in the sky.

🇱🇮🇻🇪🇸 🇴🇫 🇸🇹🇾🇱🇪

Among the Eternal Boughs, the greatest pleasure to be found is that of the creator. Those who are most renowned among the lower tiers of Asho Lenora are the Artists. Bards are cherished, crafting trades flourish, and the nightlife never ends. The streets are lined with murals that flow with the curls and bends of the naturally-hewn architecture, paper lanterns that change color when brushed by the hands of passersby, and draping fabrics that mute the mage lights dancing along overhead and cast the lower city in a soft glow.

The lower bazaars never close and there is always a show to be seen. Most merchants in these areas do not accept currency; instead, they barter for art, handmade items, songs, and stories. 

Fashion in Asho Lenora is never a seasonal affair. There is no set style among the lower levels, though citizens tend to favor brighter colors to ward off the seemingly unending twilight. On higher levels, the nobility tend to favor the city’s official colors: rose, silver, and bright sky blue.

#writeblr #writing #amwriting #dnd #homebrew #homebrew content #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #fantasy #my writing #original fiction #myth #Vostel Lore #lore #creative writing #Asho Lenora #world building #fiction #Vostel Culture #elven culture #Lore of Vostel #spilled ink #the world #tree city #art culture #Vostel

[buckysdiary]

Character Sheet - Lasthineth

General Information

Name: Lasthineth (Pronunciation: last-heen-eth) Elrondiel

Name Meaning: Pale leaf, Daughter of Elrond

Name Origin: Sindarin

Other Names: None

Gender: Female

Titles: Daughter of Elrond, Observer of Life

Birth Date: TA 346

Birth Place: Kingdom of Imladris, Rivendel

Dominant Hand: Right

Astrological Sign: Pisces

Autograph: Lasthineth

Handwriting: Neat, fine, elegant

   Appearance

Height: 5 ft 7 in

Weight: 119 lbs

Species: Elf

Race: Imladris

Blood Type: O+

Skin Color: I (Fitzpatrick Scale), #f9f8f4

Birthmarks: None

Extra Anatomy: Borderline Albino features

Somatotype: Ectomorph

Hair Color: 10B, Extra Light Beige Blond, Soft White

Hair Length: Lower back

Hair Type: Lightly wavy, 2A

Hair Style: Down, Pinned Bun

Widow's Peak: Small

Ear Shape: Pointed tips

Ear Type: Pointed, Round

Eye Color: Light grey-blue

Eye Type: Upturned, Deep-set, Large

Eyebrows: Star-blond, Mild arch

Nose Color: No change

Nose Shape: Small, Pointed

Teeth: Straight, White

Face Shape: Oval

Facial Hair: None

   Health and Image

Diet: Vegan

Exercise: None

Fitness: None

Running Speed: 10 MPH

Posture: Straight, Tall, Chin up

Vulnerabilities: Because she is an Imladris elf, she was brought up to be slow and gentle, does not know how to fight

Handicaps: None

Medication: None

Allergies: None

Diseases: None

Illnesses: None

Disorders: None

Imperfections: None

Broken Bones: None

Reason for Health: Elf

Wardrobe: Light colors, Silks, Gowns, Light fabrics

Accessories: Thin, ivory, double helix crown, Silver rings

Equipment: None

Musical Instruments: Lute, Harp, Voice

Piercings: None

Hygiene: Excellent

Makeup: None

Scent: Gardenia, Waterlily, Lilac, Spring

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

   Voice

Accent / Dialect: English

Range: High

Volume: Soft

Laughter: Soft, Quiet, Short chuckle

Impediments: None

   Psychology

IQ: 140

Languages: Elvish (Sindarin, Quenya, Lhammas, Valarin), Rohirric (Language of Rohan), Khuzdul (Dwarvish), Adunaic (or Numenorean, Old English) Westron (Middle Earth Common Speech), and other Mannish languages (Haladin, Dunlendish, Haradrim, and Easterling)

Vocabulary: Excellent

Memory: Excellent

Learning Style: Visual, Photogenic

Emotional Stability: Excellent

Mental Health: Excellent apart from being distracted visually

Linguistic: Very

Logical-Mathematical: Very

Musical: Very

Artistic: Very

Naturalistic: Very

Superstitious: Somewhat

Half-full or Half-emtpy: Half-Full

   Philosophy

Religion: Worship of Iluvatar, Adoration of Valar

Devotion: Silmarils

Superstitions: None

Spirit Animal: Otter

Death wish: To be buried with leaves from Rivendel

Attitude: Positive, Independent, Open

Outlook on Life: Positive

Perception: Always observing everything, Pays attention to every detail of live, Revels in new and interesting feelings

Philosophy / Motto: "If you listen hard, you can hear the many ways in which the Earth speaks to you."

Taboos: Hunting, Love at first sight

Vices: Easily distracted, Avoids certain responsibilities, Avoids opening up to others

Virtues: Observant, Calm, Intelligent, Reliable, Confident, Curious

   Character

Primary Objective: Keep natural balance in the world

Secondary Objectives: Protect and help family

Priorities: Family, Nature

Motivation: Discovering new things

Self Confidence: Average

Self Control: High

Self Esteem: Average

Quirks: Loses herself in thoughts, Prefers walking barefoot

Hobbies: Watches nature, Reading, Singing, Plays Lute and Harp, Grows plants

Closet Hobbies: Watches nature, Grows plants

Guilty Pleasures: Will stay up very late to watch fireflies

Habits: Stares into space, Walks barefoot

Desires: Books, Family, Open space

Wishes: To have a garden, To see her mother

Traumas: Watching her mother suffer nightmares from being tortured by Orcs

Worries: She isn't able to protect her loved ones from everything

Nervous Tics: Wrings hands, Mumbles, Paces, Forgets to blink

Soothers: Breathing deeply, Closing eyes, Rubbing hands together, Watching nature

Soft Spots: Her family, especially her father

Accomplishments: Cares for nature

Greatest Achievement: Earned title of Observer of Life

Failures: None

Biggest Failure: None

Favorite Dream: Walking through a forest of Evergreens

Worst Nightmare: None

Earliest Memory: Her mother showing her a firefly

Fondest Memory: Her mother showing her a firefly

Worst Memory: Her mother leaving to the Havens and refusing to let her come

Funniest Moment: Her sister trying to skip rocks

Happiest Moment: Holding a fawn for the first time

Saddest Moment: Her mother leaving to the Havens

Most Prized Possession: Her mother's opal ring

Most Valuable Possession: A vial of water from the Mirror of Galadriel

Collections: Plants, Rocks, Different types of water

Embarrassments: None

Mannerisms: Stares into space, Hums, Slow movements

Humor: Witty

Regrets: Not persuading her mother to stay and promising that she could protect her mother

Secrets: Afraid that her father sees her as her mother, but she won't be as great to him as her mother was

Darkest Secret: Afraid that her father sees her as her mother, but she won't be as great to him as her mother was

Pet Peeves: The smell of meat, The loudness of her footsteps when she wears shoes

Phobias: Thanatophobia, Apeirophobia

Greatest Fear: Losing her family

Confident: Very

Creative: Very

Generous: Very

Honest: Very

Loyal: Very

Insecure: Somewhat

Patient: Very

Predictable: Minimally

Reliable: Very

Respectable: Very

Responsible: Very

Trustworthy: Very

   Common...

Compliments: "That's very kind of you."

Insults: "You're as dense as a rotting forest."

Expletives: None

Farewells: "Novaer (Farewell)," "N'i lu tol (Until then)."

Greetings: "Le suilon (I greet/welcome you)," "A (Hello)," "Ai (Hail)," "Gi nathlam hi (You are welcome here)."

Mood: Curious, Welcoming, Positive

Words: "Listen," "Look," "Why?"

Emotional Status: Content

   Combat

Element: Water

Martial Arts: Sword fighting

Immunities: None

Resistances: None

Strengths: Speed, Immortality

Weaknesses: Is not built for fighting

Restrictions: None

Origin: Sindarin

Source: Her Father

Specialty: None

Signature Move: None

Special Attack: None

   Home, Work, and Education

Abode: Imladris (Rivendell)

Bedroom: Grey stone walls and floor, Fire pit in center of floor, Queen bed facing fire pit and parallel to entry way, Green silk covers and sheets, Birch frame, Open walls with rail and pillars, Balcony that overlooks Imladris, Birch bookshelves, Birch vanity table with jewelry and no cosmetics, Paintings on walls, Entry way to closed perpendicular to bed, Plants throughout the room

Bathroom: Circular room, Closed tan marble walls, Fire pit in center of floor, Depressed area of floor for bathing, Basins and bowls for water, Large pots for heating water, Shelf of dried flowers and salts and oils and sponges, Ivory basin as sink, Murals of historical times on walls, Green curtains draping around bathing tub

Kitchen: (Palace Kitchen)

Living Room: Large rounded room, Grey polished stone, Open space, Stone rail with pillars surrounding it, Pavilion ceiling, Silk chairs and couches, Birch bookshelves, Candles, Fire pit in center of floor, Doorway leading to common area, Paintings of historical times and people, Relics on podiums, Leaves scattering floor, Lanterns posted near pillars

Hometown: Imladris (Rivendell)

Citizenship: Imladris (Rivendell)

Culture: Noldor, Sindar, Numenorean

Traditions: None

Routine: None

Sleep Patterns: Falls asleep four hours past twilight, Wakes up at dawn

Eating Habits: Three meals each day, Vegan, Small portions

Pets: None

Employer: None

Job Title: None

Experience: None

Transportation: Walking, Horse riding

Criminal Record: None

Dream Job: None

Income / Salary: None

Net Worth: None

Debt: None

Savings: None

Splurges: None

   Social

Mother: Celebrian

Father: Elrond

Guardians: Elrond, Cuthalion

Siblings: Elrohir, Elladan, Arwen

Children: None

Family Communication: Frequent and close between Elrond and Arwen, Only frequent with Elrohir and Elladan when they are around (usually not near her)

Close Relatives: Elwing (paternal grandmother), Earendil (paternal grandfather), Elros (paternal uncle), Galadriel (maternal grandmother), Celeborn (maternal grandfather)

Distant Relatives: Nimloth (paternal great-grandmother), Dior (paternal-great grandfather), Tuor (paternal great-grandfather), Idril (paternal great-grandmother), Finarfin (maternal great-grandfather), Earwen (maternal great-grandmother), Galadhon (maternal great-grandfather)

Ancestors: Galathil

Best Friend: Arwen

Close Friends: Cuthalion, Celduineth

Confidantes: Arwen, Cuthalion, Celduineth

Friends: Elrohir, Elladan, Arwen, Cuthalion, Celduineth

Role Models: Celebrian, Elrond

Heroes: None

Mentors: None

   Romance

First Love: None

Love Interests: Thranduil

Marital Status: Single

Orientation: Straight

Significant Other: None

Love Style: Agape, Storge

Flirtiness: Mild

Virginity: In tact

   Story Information

Flaws: Prefers to be independent of anyone, Tends to keep to herself, Is not interested in finding a significant other

Advice: Sometimes, it's better to trust the advice of what surrounds you than your own.

One Word: "Look"

Theme Song: "Sweeter than Bourbon" by Senakah

Soundtrack: "Eyes Wide Open" by Tony Anderson

Date of Creation: June 12, 2018

   Reactions

Angry: Does not speak, Does not look anyone in the eye, Exhales sharply, Speaks quickly on occasion

Anxious: Bites lip, Wrings hands, Paces slowly, Mumbles

Conflicted: Leaves situation of conflict, Keeps to herself, Mutters

Criticized: Depends on criticism: Listens, Understands, Keeps calm (Rational Criticism), Responds with equal criticism of speaker, Keeps calm (Irrational Criticism)

Depressed: Keeps to to herself, Moves away from people, Keeps eyes closed, Sleeps, Confides in closest friends, Cries, Curls up

Embarrassed: Looks at floor, Blushes, Wrings hands, Leaves situation of embarrassment

Excited: Bites lip, Widens eyes, Wrings hands

Frightened: Jumps, Widens eyes, Forgets to breathe, Reaches for someone close to her, Does not speak

Guilty: Looks at floor, Mumbles, Purses lips, Does not look anyone in the eye

Happy: Smiles, Sighs, Speaks more than usual

Nervous: Wrings hands, Scans surroundings, Paces, Stares into space, Mumbles

Offended: Does not speak, Turns away from speaker, Leaves situation

Praised: Straightens posture, Smiles, Looks at floor, Thanks speaker

Rejected: Sights, Does not look anyone in the eye, Does not speak much

Sad: Keeps to herself, Does not speak much, Confides in closest friends, Leaves situation of Sadness, Cries, Mumbles, Tries to calm herself

Stressed: Sighs, Rubs temples, Removes herself from situation to a quieter place, Attempts to remove herself from other people, Closes eyes, Paces

Thoughtful: Stares into space, Mumbles, Writes, Does not respond immediately when called

   Impressions

First: Cold, Self centered, Distracted, Ditsy, Uninterested, Beautiful, Arrogant

Self: Observant, Independent, Strong, Wondrous

Family: Stubborn, Observant, Introverted, Selective

Lover: Beautiful, Distracted, Observant, Selfless, Careful, Loving

Friends: Selfless, Beautiful, Observant, Helpful, Careful

Enemies: Cold, Selfish, Weak, Distracted, Vain, Uncaring, Rude

   Personality

MBTI Personality Type: INTJ-A

Anima: Wolf

Personas: Leader, Observer, Navigator, Creator

#character sheet #thranduil x reader #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #xreader #x reader #thranduilxreader #tolkien #love #romance #fanfiction #ijudgelove #buckysdiary #fanfic #fantasy #imagine

[maximus31]

The Dreamer Hostel turned out to be quite a party hostel, with daily games for travellers to play and get drunk. This resulted in me playing Beer Pong for the first time, killer pool and card games in order to just drink more. It was just like being at University again. Also it was a great way of meeting my fellow travellers. All of them shocked when they found out my age.. “I thought you would have been late twenties max” they say lol.

Sitting at the bar, drinking a Club Colombia and chatting to Scott the Canadian that had a story for everything. I clock the bar girls stop mid pour and stare over my shoulder, I slowly turn to see what has caught their attention. Four guys arrive, the front two ripped and in good shape, and all in their twenties.

James was the blond with perfectly styled hair, who looked like he had just walked off the set of ‘Made in Chelsea’. It’s turns out he went to Harrow School, need i say more .. The other Ed, had the most incredible blue eyes that dazzled you against his dark hair and tan.

It turns out they are from the UK, best of mates that have just graduated and are travelling for a year. They join in on the drinking games with everyone else and once enough is consumes and the bar closes, we all head to a salsa club La Puetra in Santa Marta.

Boys being boys, they lark about and poor old Max, one of the four ends up with a sprained finger from trying to punch Ed. I sense this will be the sort of antics that will carry on through their year of travels. If they make it that far alive… Hilarious to watch.

So Hostel life has treated me pretty well so far, but I soon realise that it is a hot bed for germs and god knows what else. All across Santa Marta there is a break out of pink eye, and several in my hostel have it. Apparently it had originated from the ‘Lost City’ four day trek, and from a couple of Gringos. Some travellers coming North from Medellin report of it having made it the 835 km South. 

Luckily I have avoided it – maybe it’s because I never use the gross hand towels. Why would anyone!!!

One of the good things about being gay in Colombia, is there is little chance of meeting a hooker in a bar. For the straights its just damned hard to avoid it. Prostitution in Colombia is legal and they are everywhere.

Dancing on the rooftop at La Brisa Loca – the best venue I have been to in Colombia. An attractive woman comes up to me and starts to dance, we speak some Spanish. I find out she is from Medellín and then she grabs my crotch and says “You like Sex”…

I say “No Gracias¨and move away.

Now I warn a couple of my new found friends to be careful of the the ladies, that some are ‘ladies of the night’. The majority heed my advice and some do not.. #dontkissahooker.

Thankfully we all successfully make it back to the hostel together.

What I love about this travelling alone, is you can do what you want when you want, you have the freedom to choose and just go with the flow. I did exactly this and changed my plans and headed to Minca and stayed at Casas Viejas for two nights.

Minca lies 650m high in the Sierra Nevada and is a new find on the traveller route for Colombia, so still pretty unspoilt and only 15km from Santa Marta.

Casas Viejas is thirty minutes further up the mountain and only accessible by motorbike. I hop on the back with both my travel backpacks and make the steep climb sometimes off road. Ouch my thighs..

I hop off the bike at my destination. The beautiful Casas Viejas is in the middle of a finca – coffee farm. The view from the main dinning area is the best I have seen yet. Looking out across the jungle to the cloud covered mountains ahead with just the birds playing their tunes. Absolute paradise.

     The mornings are even more spectacular and on a clear day you can see Santa Marta on the horizon. At night your can walk higher up the finca to ‘Sunset point’ with a beer and watch the sky turn red and see the twinkling lights of Santa Marta in the distance. The food is pretty good here too, all cooked by volunteers. It’s perfect for hiking, bird watching over 300 species and seeing a lot of bugs, spiders and butterflies.

     The Coffee tour at La Victoria, was well worth the 20,000cop £5. This Coffee farm like so many others is completely self sustainable thanks to the nearby waterfall powering everything. The water powers a single generator that powers the farm, the local brewery , the surrounding houses and the hostel.

A 24 pipe system across 150 hectares delivers the freshly picked Coffee beans to the little processing plant, and then goes through several processes of washing to make a bean ready to sell. Who knew most coffee is sold and shipped to its destination as a white bean, and is then roasted in the final destination.

     Nothing is wasted, the good coffee beans are sold to international buyers, the less quality coffee is sold locally and the skin layers that are removed from the coffee bean are all used to make fertiliser for the new plants. Too think that this area was a no go zone for travellers just over two years ago due to the fighting that has plagued Colombia for so much of its past.

Due to my two amazingly chilled nights in the mountains I only have one night in Cartagena. Which to be honest I was fine with, from what I had heard from other travellers and from what I could see when I arrived.

After the six hour bus journey, I took the 30 minute taxi to El Viarejo in the old town, and just saw a dirty, uninspiring tourist trap, full off ugly hotels. The old town was mildly better with some colourful colonial buildings, but little else. The stifling heat and humidity makes it hard to want to do much.

Due to Avianca changing my flight to a 10am from a 7pm I didn’t have time to see much more of the city. Cali was my next destination and where my Colombian journey will come to an end.

Cali is home to Salsa, so I was so excited to be experiencing the city and meeting up with my travel chum Laura. Taking the one hour flight, was far better than the 20 hour bus. I arrived at El Viarejo in the district of San Antonio. I took a taxi from the airport which took 30 minutes and was 45,000cop £11.

El Viarejo have a few hostels in Colombia and out of the two I stayed in, this was the better of the two. The staff were much friendlier and the layout much nicer than the long corridor of Cartagena. The pool was perfect for cooling down, and the free nightly Salsa lessons were a great addition. The only down side was the bar closed 22:30, but this just forced you to head out to the many Salsa clubs, like Tin Tin Deo a must on a Thursday Evening.

The area of San Antonio was really pretty, with a great selection of restaurants and cafes. Corrine a particular favourite for freshly baked bagels and coffee for breakfast, Cafe Mocando for some delicious ice cream feasts, La 4ta Pared Cafe for a cheap evening meal.

     Like many Colombian cities, there are the usual museums and church’s to see. Cali had lots of street art and murals painted on the side buildings that gave it a more youthful influence. Also there was a great indoor market ‘Plaza de Mercado Alameda’, worth a visit to try out the many varieties of fresh fruit and many street sellers selling ceviche.

     The time has come to make my final bus journey 12 hours South to Ipiales, the closest town to make the final journey across the border to Ecuador. We were advised to book through transipiales, as they were the best operator on this route.

So glad we did, the bus was a double decker, we had seats at the front of the top deck, and the seats were super comfy and was my cheapest long distance bus journey at 45,000cop £11.

We arrived at Ipiales at 9am and were shocked by the sudden drop in temperature, from the warm sun of Cali, here I had to search for my warm coat for the first time. Ten minutes from Ipiales is the ‘Santuario De Las Lajas’, a beautiful basilica church that looks like Rivendell from lord of the rings is worth visiting.

     One thing you notice this far South is how close you are to the border of Ecuador, as the local people change. They have become shorter, rounder and more brightly dressed. Can I say that!!! Oh well I have…

     Colombia you have been more than I could have imagined, and I am sad to be leaving. I look forward to my many more future visits to your fabulous country and I hope my experience will encourage more to visit.

  ¡Hasta luego! Colombia.. Santa Marta to Cali The Dreamer Hostel turned out to be quite a party hostel, with daily games for travellers to play and get drunk.

#Cali Colombia #Caribbean Coast #Cartagena Colombia #Casa Viejas #Colombia #Dreamers Hostel #El Viajero #Finca La Victoria #gay #La Brisa Loca #La Puetra #Minca #Santa Marta Colombia #Santuario de las lajas #Sierra Nevada #solo traveler #South America #travel

[lawyernovelist]

The Master

Every now and then something really petty just gets to me, like when I decided that the world really needed to hear me dismantle the dialogue in the Stars and Moons scene. This is another one of those times.

I've talked about the Master of Laketown in passing a few times, but have never really focussed on him just because I've always had bigger fish to fry. He's ultimately a completely unnecessary character, who for some reason the movie seemed to think needed to get a disproportionate amount of attention. And when I was thinking again about death scenes, trying to get a good handle on what I actually think of Thorin's, I decided that enough was enough and I had to talk about this guy and all the niggly little overlapping problems he represents.

Spoilers for the Hobbit Movies, The Hobbit, and Lord of the Rings (book and movies).

What was the point of this character? I can tell you in the book: he provided some local flavour, gave the dwarves a stepping-stone on their journey, and also provided an aesop about avarice and selfishness in the way that he died. In the movie... well, I guess the stepping-stone point still holds? He does give the dwarves supplies and a boat. But what would have happened if he hadn't? After all, because those movies are allergic to maps, the dwarves seemed to take about five minutes to get from Laketown to the Lonely Mountain, and then they were inside within half an hour. They didn't really seem all that reliant on anything they got from Laketown. They weren't negatively physically affected by their journey that far, as they were in the book, so they didn't need recovery time (caveat for Kili, but the Master might as well never have existed for all the effect he had on Kili's recovery - that was all Tauriel and a little bit Bard for providing the venue).

The stop in Laketown really has very little purpose and effect, and what purpose and effect it did have (introducing Bard, providing an action setpiece for the opening of Battle of the Five Armies, giving Tauriel and Kili some alone time) were completely unrelated to the Master.

What about local flavour? Well, in the book he and Bard actually had a political relationship in the days after the destruction of Laketown (yeah, days - movies, you had triple the time you needed, why did you need to temporally compress everything?). He actually made points about the qualifications required for rule, which gave us a window into what was important in his society: Laketown is unique in Middle-earth as a mercantile city-state and that's awesome.

PS: Another sad simplification for the movie: Laketown and Dale remained separate in the book. It is not the case that that city-state was just turned into another hereditary monarchy at the end of The Hobbit.

In the movie? Well... there's kind of an abortive subplot about Laketown being an oppressive police state, and... OK, I need to get this off my chest a bit.

What the hell is that?

I'll tell you one thing it bloody isn't: an artistic style that fits with the rest of this world. Look at the rest of Middle-earth. Look at it. We're hitting each other with broadswords and burying the dead in barrows. This is, like, Saxon period, maybe early medieval. You want to know what Saxon royal portraiture looked like?

(Source)

Quite nice, I think. A frieze of that sort of thing around the room would have looked great. That wretched thing up there looks more like a Vermeer.

(Source)

And that's not a criticism, by the way; I actually really like Vermeer's paintings and the theories for how he achieved such photorealism are fascinating. However, it does not fit in this setting. It just doesn't, even when I remember that this is a fantasy story and historical accuracy doesn't fully apply. I snorted when I saw that in the movie because it just looks like a photo with an 'oil painting' filter applied in photoshop. The vivid colours look like something out of a cartoon, especially with how dark and monochrome everything else in these movies is. It does not work. People more knowledgeable than me have placed it (and the style of dress it shows) as William III: mid-late 17th Century.

Fail!

But OK, that's a silly nitpick, especially with this beautiful Alan Lee watercolour on the wall in Rivendell. It just really irritates me because it's an example of how they put making the stupid point they want to make right now above actually fitting anything together so it made sense and it's not the same as the Rivendell picture because that actually looks like a mural, the colours blend in, and it fits the flowing and naturalistic style of the large amount of other art we see around Rivendell so it works in its setting and I hate that picture of the Master, I hate it a lot.

Moving on.

No, not moving on. I said they were making a stupid point with that picture. Well, that and a stupid joke where we see that picture of him looking like a seventeenth-century fop and then we see that he's actually got the grooming skills of a toddler. Solid joke, too: excellent setup, quality punchline, raising a lot of questions about where the hell they got that volume of realgar (used as orange pigment and also rat poison - I learned a lot writing this post!). It's the rule of three.

OK, I really am going to rein it in; I promise this whole post is not going to be about that picture, even though it annoys me more the more I think about it. I do have a point.

The Master's entire characterisation was as this avaricious democracy-hating despot who would be defeated by the plucky underdog Bard. And that's... acceptable. I mean, you could have done something with it, and it wouldn't have completely derailed the plot the way the added socio-political commentary that nobody asked for did in Last of the Mohicans, which, for anyone curious, made me angrier than any other movie in the world until Battle of the Five Armies. I hate that movie, and the added socio-political commentary that nobody asked for was a major factor (others include the added romance subplot nobody asked for, the decision to render most of the main characters utterly unrecognisable including swapping the plot roles of the two women because, hell, they're interchangeable I guess, and the fact that my favourite character escaped that fate because they cut him completely). But I digress.

Presenting the Master as an avaricious democracy-hating despot would not in itself have been a problem. They did have a lot of extra time, they could spend some on the political situation in Laketown in order to set up Bard for later. However... OK, first of all, being against democracy does not in itself work as a flag that the character is evil or an attitude to be overcome when your beloved hero - by which I mean Thorin - is only of interest to anyone because he's the hereditary ruler of a kingdom. Just sayin'. Also, it doesn't count when you don't do anything with it. There's the one throwaway about an election, then it's never mentioned again unless you count the fact that Bard becomes king through popular acclaim, which I don't.

Let's talk about Bard as a foil of the Master and the beneficiary of this aesop about democracy good, monarchy (as in rule by one person, not necessarily hereditary) bad. Bard says some stuff about the people starving and seems to be setting himself up as a champion of the common folk - he's even referred to as such - but it doesn't work. First of all, the stuff about food supplies only comes up when he's trying to smuggle the dwarves into Laketown, so we don't know if this is a regular thing that he genuinely cares about, or if he was just using it as a convenient excuse to stop the dwarves being found. It never comes up again and, in fact, we never even see him arranging for the fish to be distributed or anything like that; he just uses them as a bribe for the dock-keeper who saw the dwarves disembark. This suggests that it's not actually something he cares about on its own, just a means to an end.

The Master apparently does consider him a threat, but we're given no real idea why; he and Alfrid discuss the fact that there's discontent in the city and people are speaking against the Master's rule, but we never actually see that happening and we certainly never see Bard's involvement in it. The only reason I can see for the Master to guess that Bard is the ringleader of revolution is that... oh, would you look at this for your aesop? He has royal blood. After all, the Master does know that about him, even though he himself seems determined to keep it quiet.

When Bard is later proclaimed king by popular acclaim, he doesn't do anything with it. In fact, he almost entirely rejects it; while he takes on a leadership role, it's visibly unwillingly and he almost entirely defers to Thranduil upon Thranduil's arrival. The only person who acknowledges him as king is Alfrid, and we're clearly supposed to find that annoying; Bard certainly does. Even the movie never acknowledges him as a king, since it constantly shows him as less powerful and less respected than the two kings and we never see him crowned or treated as a ruler. As far as we can tell from the theatrical release of the movie, after the Battle of the Five Armies Bard shrugs and goes back to plying his trade as a bargeman. Him being proclaimed king means nothing.

Overall, Bard actually appears to be startlingly apolitical. The one exception is also the one time he actually challenges the Master himself: over whether they should help Thorin. He is promptly shot down and goes home to sulk. If anything, Bard seems to be fighting for the status quo while the Master is aiming for things to change and improve for the town - I don't think that was what you meant to be going for, Movie!

This was a mistake on the part of the movie, and one that Tolkien didn't make because Tolkien didn't frame Bard vs The Master as the champion of the common people vs a democracy-hating despot running a police state for his own enrichment. Once you have that set up, Movie, you have to do something with it.

But OK, it was one thing that the movie just threw in without any apparent thought beyond "Hey, if we frame Bard as the champion of the common people and the Master as wanting to prevent free and fair elections, the American audience will know who to root for". Let's look at the aesop they beat into the floor when it came to the Master: "Gold is worth less than people".

Now, this is actually an important aesop because not only does it come from the book (and I'll come back to how Tolkien handles it) but in the movies it's presented via no fewer than three characters - four if you count Alfrid and the Master as separate characters. It appears in Bard's last scene with Alfrid, the presentation of Thranduil and his motivations, and Thorin's arc with respect to Dragonsickness. This is clearly a big thing, and with the Master his prioritisation of gold over human life is beaten in to the point where he's really carrying the characterisation beat of "avarice makes you evil". It comes right from his first introduction with that wretched painting - see, I told you I had a point - showing his ostentatious wealth in a manner that almost makes me think of Louis XVI -

(Source)

Just to bring back that political thing that died on arrival to the point where I'm still not sure it was intentional

- and his last act is trying to evacuate the town's treasury while announcing that it's such a shame that that means there's no room for any people. It's then continued with Alfrid, whose last act in the movie is deciding to disguise himself as a woman to escape the battle and then flee with a load of gold that was in Dale for no reason except to set up this resolution. No, really, what was it doing there?

Anyway, I said this was an aesop from the book, and it is. In fact, in the book the Master is even the clearest example of the aesop playing out: Bard, as king of Dale, sends a large quantity of treasure to the Master to help with the reconstruction of Laketown. The Master steals as much treasure as he can carry and flees into the wilderness, where he dies of hunger and cold, abandoned by his companions, in an action explicitly blamed on Dragonsickness. His avarice and selfishness directly leads to his death, and this is contrasted with the heroic characters who share treasure to enrich people and the land about - even Thorin acknowledges on his own deathbed that his selfishness was wrong and renounces his deeds and words at the gate. Note that the Master being greedy and selfish was a trait that Tolkien had established, but it wasn't hugely overt; he was selfish, sure, and kind of manipulative and not terribly interested in doing the right thing for its own sake, but he was presented as a human being with his own motives and interests, not a caricature.

OK, so I was going to just make a sneering remark like "Pfft, complex characters with human failings? That's kids' stuff", but the difference in the way this character is handled is actually symptomatic of a lot of problems.

First, and most obvious... Movie, what age is your target audience? Because this tastes like a movie for twelve-year-olds, but the characterisation would be simplistic in a story for toddlers. You position yourself as a serious and mature story, in opposition to The Hobbit, which was written as a bedtime story for children, but by every metric I can think of you are significantly more childish. Note 'childish', not 'suitable for children'.

Second, I mentioned that in the book the Master's death is treated as a consequence of his actions. The causal relationship is very clear: if he had stayed in Laketown and used the treasure for its intended purpose, he would not have died. This means that the aesop is clear: if you're greedy and selfish, you'll suffer consequences.

So... the movie. In the movie, they changed how and where the Master died: Smaug fell on him as he was escaping Laketown. The Master is greedy and selfish, and because the movie thinks we're stupid it really makes it clear that he's greedy and selfish and that's bad, not only showing him literally kicking someone in the face when they try to climb onto the boat, but also showing his barge almost running down Tauriel and co. after Tauriel has consistently been shown as the angelic personification of goodness and light. It could not be clearer that the Master is a bad guy. And then he dies on his way out, so we're good, right? Karma worked itself out, bad things happen to bad people, all is well.

Problem one: It doesn't count when there's absolutely no causal relationship between the Master's actions and his death. In the book, the one was a direct consequence of the other. In the movie, his death was pure accident. If his boat had been filled with the occupants of the orphanage and all the puppies and kittens they could carry, Smaug would still have fallen on it.

Problem two: They gave themselves a second chance with Alfrid.

That's it. That's the problem.

I'm kidding, I just really hate that character. From his first appearance I assumed he was going to get eaten by Smaug and I was bitterly disappointed when that didn't happen because I was genuinely looking forward to it.

Anyway, They kind of pass the baton of "avarice and selfishness make you evil" to Alfrid, but the avarice angle is actually almost entirely dropped while the selfishness angle is treated as a running joke. To an extent the avarice angle is shifted over to the conflict between Thranduil and Thorin in that we've kind of got the "Thranduil wants treasure" thing hanging around, but... it doesn't work.

Unlike in the book, you're completely failing to examine Thorin's flaws and are treating his avarice and selfishness as not his responsibility.

Thranduil can't carry this moral because you may be jumping around talking about how he's evil, but his iconic line is still "I came to reclaim something of mine" - he wants one specific item which is his by right; this isn't about greed and, in fact, Thorin ends up looking greedy and petty by declaring he'd rather fight a war than toss out one necklace that isn't even his.

Bilbo isn't carrying the moral either because you've made his motivations about personal loyalty to Thorin rather than generosity and selflessness.

The only people around here who seem to actually want treasure generally are Thorin and Bard, both of whom are a) heroic and b) justified in that desire: it's not Thorin's fault, and Bard actually needs money for a specific purpose.

In fact, I'd like to take a moment to dwell on Thorin. I've covered elsewhere the fact that the Arkenstone wipes away all Thorin's flaws by taking the blame for his behaviour; without that, the movie has actually opened itself up quite badly for comparison between Thorin and the Master. Think about it: for a good chunk of Battle of the Five Armies, Thorin is sitting on a pile of gold, thinking more about how he can defend and keep his gold than about how he could spend it to pay his debts and help the starving people camped outside. That's Dragonsickness, and really the behaviour that the movie was decrying in the Master just a little while before. But Thorin has the excuse of the Arkenstone.

Incidentally, the Master's been living outside the mountain that contains the Arkenstone for some time. Why doesn't he have the excuse of the Arkenstone? We don't know how that thing works, but if we're gong to blame Thorin's behaviour on it, you clearly don't have to be in sight or touch of it. Your double standards are showing again, Movie. You should have taken the time to do character flaws and examine them properly.

Anyway, the aesop is pretty much dropped for most of Battle of the Five Armies. If I were feeling malicious, I'd say that it was precisely because they couldn't risk the audience applying it to Our Heroes and maybe thinking that Thorin isn't a shining beacon of goodness and light.

Of course, I'm not feeling malicious; when have I ever been malicious towards Thorin except for every time I talk about him? My point here is Alfrid.

Alfrid is clearly not a character to be taken seriously in any way whatsoever, and for most of this time he just comes across as slimy. He's not a threat, and he actually doesn't come across as that greedy for gold either; he's just selfish and slimy and makes me want a shower just from being in his proximity. However, he also strikes the last note on the "avarice and selfishness makes you evil" moral in his last scene, which is also the only time he and Bard are actually positioned in opposition to one another after Bard gains power.

Yeah... that last bit is a big problem, by the way, because Bard has just spent the entire movie letting Alfrid get away with whatever he wants. He's not the only one, but he's the one for whom it's a big problem because the interaction between these two has been set up and now it's not going anywhere. This could have been the way Bard shows himself as different to the Master - the Master allows Alfrid to hang on his coat-tails and use that position to bully those weaker than himself; not like Bard, who... glares at him from time to time while he hangs on Bard's coat-tails and uses that position to bully those weaker than himself.

Movie, did anyone ever actually look at you in production and ask themselves if any of the decisions they were making were good?

I'll come back to Bard and the Master as foils for each other; right now I'm talking about Alfrid. Alfrid continuing to get away with things is a problem on multiple levels (it's not funny, Movie, and no matter how many times you do it it doesn't become funny), but surely they're going to at least have the aesop come home to roost: Alfrid steals the money and runs away, just as the Master did, but this time that greed is going to bite him in the behind and he's going to get his comeuppance. Maybe he can't run carrying the gold and a troll catches him, or something.

Instead, Bard catches up to him, saving his children en route, they have a conversation in which Alfrid says he has gold and asks what Bard has, Bard looks meaningfully at the kids, and Alfrid leaves. We never see him again.

Now, I've complained repeatedly that Alfrid's the only one who gets a happy ending. He gets gold, which is apparently what he wants, and he leaves to go set up somewhere else. He faces absolutely no consequence for his actions. Bard looks down on him, but he's been doing that the whole time and Alfrid clearly doesn't care. Even Bard's last shot mocking Alfrid isn't commenting on him being greedy and selfish, it's mocking him for dressing as a woman.

Dammit, Movie!

You didn't even have Bard take the money away and send Alfrid away empty-handed. At least then he'd have been humiliated, lost his political position, and gained nothing. As it is? He's mocked by someone he holds in no esteem and walks away with what he wants. That means that you have this aesop you've been building up with the Master and which you actually explicitly hit by comparing Alfrid's and Bard's motivations in this scene... but then it all falls apart because Alfrid faces no consequence for his actions!

So it doesn't work with the Master because of lack of causality between action and consequence and it doesn't work with Alfrid because of lack of consequence. The movie tells us that avarice is bad, but doesn't do anything with it. The Master continues to be an entirely useless character.

So I was going to talk some more about the relationships and conflict between the Master and other characters, especially Bard, and I'm actually going to start with the ending because that also plays into the aesop.

In the book, Dragonsickness is basically avarice and selfishness - those two traits that we've been talking about this whole time. It's all about gathering together a big pile of gold just to have and to guard for yourself and never enjoying it, sharing it, or even using it. This is a trait that we see in the Master and he dies because of it, as I outlined above. However, in the book it's also a trait we see in Thorin, and the comparison is drawn through the motif of Dragonsickness; it's never explicit, but it is there.

Thorin redeems himself by ending his isolationist power-play against Bard and Thranduil and coming out to rally all three of the enemies of the goblins in battle. After his death, the hoard is distributed - Bard, the Master, Thranduil, and Bilbo all get some as well as a large amount being retained by the dwarves. In the epilogue, we see that Bilbo now leads a comfortable and wealthy life back in the Shire - his waistcoat is more extensive and has real gold buttons - but we also learn that he throws excellent parties and gives excellent gifts (tellingly, if I may look ahead to Lord of the Rings, the last of his share goes to Sam to help him get married and start a family). We also hear that Dale and the Lonely Mountain and their environs are now prosperous and life has returned to the desolation left by Smaug. This is how Smaug's legacy is broken and the Dragonsickness loses its hold. The message is that it's not that it's bad to be rich, it's that it's bad to just sit on money just in order to have it.

I really want to spin off into a ramble about the role of a lord as a giver of gifts in the Saxon societies with which Tolkein was highly familiar, but I really need to stay at least close to the point, which is that the Master is compared to Bard and Dain on a large scale and to Bilbo on a small one. The last three are presented as good and heroic in part because of their generosity, while the Master is bad because of his selfishness.

And this is yet another way in which the ending of the Hobbit movies fails: we don't see what happens with the hoard. Thorin dies, Bilbo goes home, he's sad about his bro dying, and we segue back into Lord of the Rings with no further mention of all the things that just happened. To all appearances, Bilbo doesn't get a single coin from the hoard. Nor does Bard. Thranduil doesn't get his necklace back. To all appearances, Dain just sits on that treasure like Thorin, Smaug, and Thror before him.

So why are any of these people better than the Master?

Well, for one thing the movies - and I include the Lord of the Rings movies in this - seem to have a really uncomfortable relationship with social hierarchy, especially among the hobbits, so I'm not surprised that they didn't want to deal with Bilbo coming home rich. The thing is... if you don't want to tell a story in which the hero comes home rich, don't tell The Hobbit. You could have got away with it - stick in a montage in which we see that he gave away lots of money to... OK, that would mean you'd have to admit that there's relative poverty in the Shire. And we don't want that sort of complication. Poverty only happens to bad societies ruled by bad people like the Master and if you just replace the guy in charge all those problems will just vanish.

I'm getting off-topic here, but I do have to address this because it's true that poverty is not a big issue in Middle-earth. Everyone seems to have enough to live off, even if not in any luxury; nobody seems to be homeless; you never see beggars even in large cities like Minas Tirith; and so forth. However, Tolkien does seem aware that there exist at least haves and have-lesses. The Shire does have a social structure and there are issues of class in play, most obviously between the Bagginses and the Gamgees. The Bagginses are gentry and the Gamgees are working-class and this is a clear split. It's ignored in the movies, in which there seems to be no class split between Frodo and Sam; it's just that for some reason Sam calls Frodo "Mr Frodo" and Frodo never takes a turn to cook dinner.

Anyway, I think that's part of why the movies didn't want an epilogue in which we see that Bilbo is now fabulously wealthy and can afford to give generous gifts to everyone who comes to celebrate his birthday with him.

To pull back up to wider scope, the Shire isn't the only society that gets hit by the movies' discomfort with social hierarchy. And I'm not going to pretend that I'm not guilty of this problem too - we're raised in this egalitarian Western society where, especially in American culture, everyone's supposed to be socially equal, and this is escapism, so we want to have the equality that we want to believe is present in society. However, fantasy comes with tropes like kingship which are hard not to write unless you're doing it on purpose, so it's easy to end up in this weird, uncomfortable halfway-house.

Especially if you're adapting Tolkien, you're not in a position to criticise or remove the institution of kingship even if you want to; Tolkien's work is a major reason these tropes exist in fantasy. However, that means that if you're this uncomfortable with writing about social hierarchy, you might not want to do Tolkien. Play in his world, have fun, study particular aspects, flesh out parts of the world he didn't write about, whatever, but you probably shouldn't adapt Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and claim that you're doing a true adaptation.

This is relevant because I think this is part of what's going on with the Master, and to an extent with Denethor: these two men are definite forms of social authority which cannot be ignored, but they are not kings. Denethor is treated as a bad person, but the Master is not only treated as a bad person but also as an illegitimate authority because the movies straight up don't know what to do with a ruler who's not a king. They know what to do with Thorin because he's the rightful king. They know what to do with Thranduil because he's a king. They can't handle the Master (and didn't consider the possibility of just thinking of 'Master' as a synonym for 'President' and moving on with their day).

Incidentally, just to make my point a bit more? The movies are actually also not comfortable with Legolas and Tauriel. Their authority comes into the category of being possible to ignore, so they ignore it: Legolas is a prince and Tauriel is an extremely high-ranking military officer, but neither are treated as socially superior to anyone else. We never see them show authority or shown deference, right down to Tauriel never being referred to by title and Legolas being given the job of guarding the orc during the Interrogation scene despite the fact that that's the kind of job you'd normally give to a random soldier. Looking at it from this angle, I think this is part of the movies' discomfort with non-king authority and social hierarchy. These two aren't a king and a queen, so the movies don't want to show them in a position of authority. Admittedly, this hits Legolas way less hard than Tauriel; I don't know if that's a gender thing, a character role thing, or a royalty thing, though.

Anyway, my point is the Master. The movies can't ignore his high social rank as they do with Legolas, Tauriel, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, etc., so they present his authority as illegitimate. This is another possible purpose for his presentation as a democracy-hating despot: it underlines his fundamental insecurity and the fact that he doesn't have a true mandate.

So... is the purpose of the Master to give us the message that hereditary monarchy is the only legitimate form of authority? Because if so... the movie has more guts than I give it credit for. Somehow, though, I don't think it's very likely.

It's not doing a bad impression of it, though, and this is where I finally have to drag myself back to those character comparisons. Specifically, the most important heroic character relative to the Master: Bard.

I already talked about how Bard seems to be pretty apolitical and the problems this introduces for his character, especially by comparison to the book; in the book he doesn't seem to have been a particularly political guy, but when duty called he stepped up, took the leadership role that was offered, and did something with it. He was going around making sure that people had food and shelter while the Master sat down and called for food and firewood to be brought to him. That's one of the few points of comparison between them, and it's very telling. Bard is actually seen alongside Thorin and Thranduil far more than the Master, but the comparison is still present because these two are rivals for leadership after Bard has shot Smaug and been proclaimed king. Up until that point, though, Bard and the Master seem to have had no friction.

The way the political subplot in the movies is presented means that the rivalry between Bard and the Master is personal. All that stuff I talked about earlier about the Master seeing Bard as a threat and Bard being framed as a populist leader of some kind (despite lack of actual evidence) mean that these two are set up as in opposition to one another from almost their first appearances - Bard is defying the Master by helping the dwarves; the Master is feeling threatened by Bard.

So maybe this is the answer to the question I set up at the beginning about the point of the Master as a character: a foil to and antagonist for Bard in particular.

Well, yeah, I spoiled this my post on Bard in Battle of the Five Armies, but here it is again: the personal antagonism between Bard and the Master goes nowhere because of the way the Master dies. Yeah, he was killed because Bard shot Smaug, but that's so indirect that it doesn't count; Bard doesn't even know he was there.

But OK, you could still do something with this by having them be foils - it's not that they actively go up against each other, but the characterisation of both is intensified by comparison. In particular, since Bard is the more important and heroic character, Bard's character should have been illuminated by comparison to the Master.

Well, I spoiled this earlier, but let me summarise. We've talked a lot about how the Master is presented as selfish, avaricious, and oppressive, keeping the people in poverty for his own gain and placing massive restrictions on their movements for really no reason at all. Bard has no power until after the Master dies, so the logical thing story-wise would be for him to demonstrate how he can do better than the Master.

The trouble is that Bard really doesn't demonstrate he's any better than the Master. He's not actively abusing the people under his rule, but he does seem unwilling to fight their corner. I'm struggling to think of a single time he argues with Thranduil, for example, let alone with Gandalf.

(Source)

But the biggest thing really is Alfrid. Bard takes no notice of Alfrid except when Alfrid is directly annoying him, despite knowing that this guy likes to throw his weight around if he thinks he has the power to do so and despite the fact that things like Alfrid dumping the things he had been given to carry on an old woman must have happened within Bard's hearing. The effect really is that Bard is so unwilling or incapable of taking command that he's prepared to just turn a blind eye to abuses of his power.

Now, the fact that nobody does anything about Alfrid doesn't say anything nice about any of the characters, but Bard is the one who really ought to have done something. From a craft perspective, this means that, once again, the Master hasn't contributed anything. In fact, the opposite: because we've seen no appreciable difference in actions between the Master and Bard, the Master's involvement actively damages our perception of Bard, who is clearly meant to be heroic.

So, to summarise:

What plot effect the stop in Laketown has is unrelated to the Master.

The Master doesn't provide any worldbuilding because he seems to be so isolated from the rest of Middle-earth.

More specifically, the political aspect of the Master's presentation goes nowhere unless the movie really did intend to suggest that hereditary monarchy is the only legitimate form of authority.

Comparison between the Master and Bard does nothing to highlight Bard.

The Master doesn't demonstrate the "Gold is worth less than people" aesop (nor does Alfrid).

My friends, behold a pointless character.

#hobbit movies #StoryCraft #characterisation #fictional politics #the Master