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#this is how you strike a balance between ''too close-minded'' and ''too suggestible''
cosmic-kaden · 3 months
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hiii friend! 💖
🔥 - "oh, feisty, aren't we?"
🔍👀
Selfship Emoji/drabble ask game.
(This is okay to rb by the by if anyone wants too but no pressure! I just like hearin' ya'll scream and get angy /j /lh)
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.: Spar With me :.
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Ship: Ben Solo x Kaden Reese
Words: 722 (Drabble! ^_^)
CW: A little suggestive/sexual tension. Nothing explicit!!
Banner by @/cafekitsune
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Kylo and Kaden stood facing each other in the spacious green field where they had set up a spot to repair their ship, the tension between them seemed to radiate into cool air as the sunset and a brisk evening chill crossed the open field. Their weapons were at the ready, but the air crackled with more than just the anticipation of combat.
"Ready to lose?" Kylo's voice was a low growl, laced with a challenge.
Kaden smirked, their grip tightening on their weapon. "In your dreams. I've been practicing~"
Kaden and Ben had started sparring with each other a few months ago, almost every day. It was actually Ben's suggestion even though he knew from the first moment they met that Kaden was more than a capable fighter and they knew how to handle themselves very well.
He kept telling himself that it was just for training, to better hone their skills, but he knew in the back of his mind that he liked sparring with Kaden because it brought them closer not just mentally but physically.
Kaden lunged forward but Kylo was already ready for their strike. The clash of their weapons echoed out in the once silent air, each strike and parry a dance they knew all too well by now. Kylo was relentless, driving Kaden back with powerful sweeps. Yet Kaden was agile, slipping away and countering with swift, precise movements.
"You're improving..." Kylo admitted, panting slightly as he launched another assault.
"Thanks to you~!" Kaden shot back, ducking under a particularly aggressive swing.
Kylo couldn't help the smug smirk that etched his face, he liked the thought of Kaden thinking they've improved thanks to him. It made him feel good.
The fight drew them closer, a magnetic pull that was about more than just physical proximity. Their eyes locked, a silent conversation amidst the chaos of their sparring session.
Kylo feinted to the left, but Kaden read the move, stepped in close to exploit the opening. With a quick maneuver, they managed to get behind Kylo, Their right side pushing him forward. Caught off balance, Kylo stumbled forward, and in a moment of daring, Kaden swept Kylo's legs out from under him by grabbing his ankle as he stumbled.
However, things did not all go according to plan and Kylo was quick to turn, grabbing Kaden by the scruff of their shirt, the pull was too hard and Kaden couldn't hold his body weight and also hold their own balance. Their eyes widened and they let out a loud yelp of surprise.
Both of them fell to the ground with a thud, Kylo on his back and Kaden on top of him. Their weapons clattered to the side, forgotten.
"Oh, feisty, aren't we?" Kylo's voice was husky, his breath warm on Kaden's face as they hovered inches apart, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. he was so close...
Kaden's heart raced, their face flushed with the exertion and the proximity. "…..You pulled me down with you Ben- I wanted-" They stopped what they were saying, suddenly words were lost on them, they now took into account where exactly they were… they were practically straddling the man under them. Their faces were mere inches apart.
Ben's hands found Kaden's waist, his grip firm yet gentle "What do you want?" he asked, a playful edge to his voice as he looked between Kaden's eyes and lips.
Kaden leaned in, their lips almost touching Kylo's. The air between them charged with an electric tension. "I want…." they whispered, the word barely a breath.
But instead of closing the distance, Kaden pulled back, a mischievous glint in their eye. They rolled off Kylo, jumping to their feet and offering a hand to help him up. "I want a rematch~"
Kylo sat up, a smirk spreading across his face but inside he felt a twinge of frustration, they were so close and just like that they were gone. "Challenge accepted, but I will not be held responsible if we get into another compromising position.." His voice held a promise, one that sent a shiver down Kaden's spine.
As they resumed their sparring, the air around them thrummed with the promise of more than just physical combat. Each glance, each touch, was laden with unspoken words and desires.
They were warriors, equals, and partners in every sense of the word even though those words have not been spoken yet, they felt it. between them.
{If you're not a self-shipper please dni. I have anxiety ;-; lol}
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project-summerhome · 1 year
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Happy birthday, Gravity Falls!/Summerhome HD 1.5 Re: Mix
Eleven years. How has this show been around for eleven years. How. I don’t understand. What’s happening to us. The sand in the hourglass is falling so much faster than it’s supposed to. I try to hold onto it but I can’t even break the glass. And yet, somehow, safe in its case, the sand still drowns me. The sands of time drown us all. It’s only a matter of how long you can hold your breath. Obviously, Gravity Falls means a whole lot to me, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. It’s been a part of my life for over a decade now, seven years since it ended, and the world and characters still have enough of a stranglehold on my heart and mind that here I am, doing this. Summerhome is my way of trying to celebrate Gravity Falls, so along with a sincere thank you to the crew who made the show what it was, I also wanna use this time to elaborate on my last post. This is going to be kind of a soft reboot of the series; along with updating the current episodes to be more reflective of my current skills as a writer and plans for the story, the format of each episode will be updated to more closely reflect actual television scripts. I’m gonna try and strike a good balance between authenticity and readability, and will absolutely be open to critiques about both the writing and the format. Also: we now officially have our own logo by @tangelojack, and a blog header by @o-lanterns! Their work on the series has been phenomenal and invaluable and if you don’t applaud for them I’m blowing this whole building up Probably the biggest change, though: I’m gonna be posting on Ao3 now! Episodes will still be posted as they have before, in the form of links to the Google Docs, but there will now be Ao3 mirrors for them as well. (Disclaimer: I do not support Ao3 or its practices. Their refusal to take any action on the rampant racism, pornography of minors both real and fictional, and myriad other problems on their platform is fucking abhorrent. If Ao3 was a person, I would wrap barbed wire around my own hands just so it would hurt more when I choked it to death. The decision to start posting there was reached after some suggestions from readers and consultations with friends for the sake of better accessibility and further exposure, but I don’t want there being any illusions about my feelings on the site. I accept any and all complaints about my selling out and will be ready with a sincere but ultimately worthless apology) That aside, though: thank you all again for bearing with me through everything. Again, can’t make any promises about the update schedule, but I really do appreciate your patience, and I have high hopes for this reboot-take two of the premiere should be ready to post not too long from now! Thank you all for allowing me to drag you down with me as I spiral further into madness over a children’s cartoon, and I hope you’re all having a great summer!! (Also happy birthday to Stan and Ford Pines you old fucks I hope you never die or get sad)
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lemonadecandy · 2 years
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Meeting Zhongli [Part 2]
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This is a continuation of the Zhongli scenario I had posted earlier.
Note: This is just a one-shot scenario. The premise is that 'you' get transported into the game and journey through Teyvat along with the traveller. This is a reinterpretation of the Liyue Archon Quests. Hope you enjoy~
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The tension hadn’t decreased even a little bit. I knew my stomach couldn’t handle any food in this state so I ended up not eating beyond a few bites. But, after he did leave, I could feel my nerves relaxing a little. Lumine and Paimon were done too, so they started bidding Childe a farewell, who stayed back to try and figure out how chopsticks work. I would have been very amused by his comment, and how the little things of the game are still applicable here, but my mind still was unstable from what I had to just sit through.
I should have seen this coming, especially after that incident in Mondstat, all that I have learned from that god forsaken game isn’t the complete truth here. Venti hadn’t seemed this terrifying, I could definitely sense power, but it wasn’t intimidating. I guess being the strongest does make a difference. I followed the traveler out of the restaurant, my legs felt like noodles, like I could lose my balance any second. I really didn’t want to go, my body kept signaling this to me too. I wonder if Lumine sensed that aura? Or Childe? Aren’t they veteran warriors?
Zhongli stood on the pavement next to the main road. Looking at him from a distance finally gave me the opportunity to appreciate his striking figure. He was taller than I had imagined, and inhumanly handsome too, but then again, that was true about everyone here. That aura of his was still terrifying, but strangely charming and enchanting, he truly was the definition of a ‘god’. If the gods back home were real, would they be just like him? Not that it matters anymore. I hung back while the traveller approached the geo archon, far enough that I wouldn’t draw attention to myself but still close enough to hear Zhongli brag about Liyue. The conversation was going just as I remembered, so I started diverting my attention to my surroundings. Everything had been going so fast that I hadn’t had even a moment to look around at the city, also there was no way I was ever meeting those reptilian eyes again. Liyue, it was definitely livelier than Mondstat, and you could feel the commercialism in the air. The crowd had a life of its own, the vibrant clothes shone in the morning light and the people moved like enchanting shoals of fish. There is chatter between sellers and buyers, old friends catching up, new friends made. It's busy for sure, but the hustle and bustle brings a life to this city that I wouldn't want it to be without. A certain nostalgia hit me, I could so clearly remember when Liyue was first released in the game and how I had fallen for it at first sight. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the background music that played in the city and felt my anxiety from before ebb away.
My mood became a bit cheerful as well, but before I could enjoy myself too much, I heard Zhongli suggesting that they go find the materials for the rite of parting. First stop was the Jade Mystery, it was the shop where you could bid on the stones, sadly, we were only going there to buy some noctilucous jade for the ceremony. As we were reaching the store, I suddenly remembered that we were gonna make a trip to Mondstat… to check if the stones… were… pure. Damn, this ordeal isn’t gonna be over for a while, huh? After reaching the conclusion I had anticipated, we left to Mondsat by a carriage, sadly, those teleportation waypoints cannot be used right now, because why would the traveller want to explain their use and make everyone’s lives more comfortable? I sat with Lumine, while Zhongli sat opposite us, to avoid eye contact and any conversation I just pretended to be asleep. They seemed to have bought the act as Zhongli asked, “Has your friend been offended by me in some way? If so, I apologize, I didn’t mean to.” “Why would you think so?” Paimon asked in confusion. “Well, she has been avoiding me…”. Even with my eyes closed I could feel all the three of them glance my way. Are they planning to bitch about me or something? “She’s like that to everyone, doesn’t talk until it’s important.” Lumine sounded a bit dejected. I didn’t really mean to be rude to her and Paimon, it’s just that even looking at them keeps reminding me of this fucked up situation and I feel like I could lose my mind thinking about it. “I see.” I had ended up falling asleep for real and was woken up by Paimon screaming in my ears. The three of them were chatting about something that I couldn’t quite make out. “You are awake!”, Lumine looked jolly. “Mmmmh”, I groaned, trying to drive all the drowsiness away. “So, what were you all talking about?” “Mr. Zhongli was telling us some stories about Liyue’s history.”, Paimon replied. “Ah, interesting.”, I said. Does the history, like the characters, also have deeper layers than what was presented?
As I looked around, my eyes were suddenly drawn to what Zhongli held in his hands, it was a dumbbell. No wait, it was ‘the’ dumbbell. “Memory of dust.”, I let out in a mumble. It was that puzzle thing Zhongli’s friend, Guizhong had given to him. I realized that I had said the name out aloud and covered my mouth in shock as I looked up. Lumine and Paimon looked confused, but the expression on Zhongli’s face was clearly suspicion. Uh-oh. 
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P.S: I have found some inspiration, so I will be continuing this 'scenario' or whatever it's called. Please feel free to give advise and any requests you may have!
Part 3:
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taikouvember · 2 years
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Prompt Guideline
If you read about Taikouvember and are excited for the event, but don’t know how to interpret the prompts yet, let us give you a little bit of input about what was on our minds when we brainstormed over them. Maybe it will give you some inspiration!
Disclaimer: It is all up to you and you don’t have to follow any of the following ideas!
Day 1: Connection / Distance
Digimon as a series is all about connections, whether it’s about digital connectivity through networks and devices and between worlds or about emotional bonds to friends and family. The connection between Taichi and Koushiro can take several shapes and forms as well: Just think about how they get along despite being such different archetypes, how they work together, how they communicate and support each other. What is it that makes them bond so easily, what connects them, what do they have in common and where do they complement each other? 
Unfortunately, all relationships have their downs to their ups and there may be occasions that force them to be apart, physically or emotionally. What happens if they drift apart, what happens when they can’t be together, how do they fix it and can they fix it even?
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Day 2: Adventure / Calm
As the name already suggests, Digimon Adventure is set in an adventurous world and if you have courageous and curious main characters like Taichi and Koushiro, they are very likely to get into all kinds of shenanigans. Whether they have to fight against Digimon and save the world in their role as chosen children or deal with everyday life troubles. What other exciting activities could they experience together? 
There may also be moments that allow them to rest and settle down a little more, domestically at home, on vacation. Or just sharing a cup of tea while cozily watching November rain falling from the sky and leaves twirling in the wind. How do they relax and settle down, what are their habits and rituals? Your choice!
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Day 3: Work / Casual
“Work” can be looked at from various angles, it can be about them being involved in their activities as chosen children or at school/college, but it can also refer to their careers and dedication to it. Taichi is often seen struggling with his life path, while Koushiro is often seen as work-a-holic. How are they dealing with their work life balance? What if Taichi turns into a work-a-holic instead? When you keep in mind that they both end up in fields that are still closely linked to Digimon and the Digital World, how will they work together even? What if one has to work under the other? 
On the other hand, it could be interesting to explore their every day lives a bit more as well. What are their hobbies, what do they do in their free time, either together or with their friends? When they get out of their suits and ties, what are they most likely to wear? 
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Day 4: Confession / Lie
There are quite a few things these two may be struggling to open up about, especially in regards to their feelings and trauma. So what happens if one confesses to the other? What if Koushiro tells Taichi about being adopted, what if Taichi gathers the courage to talk about his future related fears? What if they finally manage to get that long awaited love confession out, which their friends already placed bets on? 
In contrast, there may be things you cannot find yourself to be fully honest about. Whether you want to save or protect a loved one with a white lie, or are too frustrated and bitter over certain things, fearing to lose the other if you talk about things you may not even want to face yourself. What situations could you imagine that would cause one of them to lie for or to the other?
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Day 5: Extroverted / Introverted
While they are no classic representations of the extrovert and the introvert, they both display mingling tendencies. For instance, Taichi may strike you as the outgoing type that bursts of energy and can make friends easily, but he does have his quiet moments where he needs to be by himself and shuts others out. Whereas Koushiro may seem glued to his office space to only communicate online or works only by himself, he tends to tie everyone together and gets in on the action when his skills are needed. 
So exploring their dynamics and how they play out with each other could be exciting, especially when one inspires the other to act in a more extroverted or introverted way respectively. Does one pull the other out of their shell? Does one teach the other to be more aware of their personal needs?
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Day 6: Loyalty / Jealousy
Barely any theme is as strong as loyalty when it’s about Taichi and Koushiro, as they went through a lot of highs and lows together throughout the series. Believing in your leader to make the right decision just to be entrusted with his faith is still one of the most remarkable scenes they ever had together. What other situations would have them display their loyalty, adoration and devotion to each other? 
Loyalty can also have a dark side though, either when you feel inferior to your best friend or significant other or when you envy others for having something in common with them that you do not have. What if they experience moments of doubt when they look at each other? What if they find themselves jealous of one/some of their friends for being closer to the other than they thought?
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Day 7: Free Day
Go wild and have fun!!! You may post whatever comes to your mind in regards to the ship, something you always wanted to shout into the world, but never found the opportunity to do so! We’re excited to see what you have in mind!
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thejaipurloom · 3 months
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Formal Office Wear for Women Diverse Styles and Styling Tips for Every Event
In the professional world, appearances matter. Your attire is not just about fashion; it's a statement of professionalism, confidence, and competence. Regarding formal office wear for women, striking the perfect balance between style and professionalism can seem complicated. However, with the proper knowledge and wardrobe essentials, you may look easily put together in any business environment.
When you first meet them, it takes only a few seconds to create an opinion about someone. Your clothing has a significant impact on how people consider you right away. Wearing professionally shows your regard for the workplace rules and dedication to the position in a business environment. In this article, we'll go through the critical components of formal office wear for women, along with some helpful advice and outfit suggestions to help you confidently manage the working world.
Formal Office Wear For Women according to Every Official Event
Ensure you know your workplace's dress code before entering the specifics of business wear. Some businesses have more flexible restrictions, while others have rigid policies. Everyday clothing codes or formal office wear for women consist of:
Business Formal: Usually prepared for important conferences, meetings, or business functions, business formal clothing consists of fitted dresses, skirts, and pastel-colored suits.
Business Professional: This dress code covers a wide range of tailored separates, such as blazers, dress pants, blouses, and sleeveless dresses, and is appropriate for casual office attire.
Business casual: It is a more lenient dress code that permits business casual and professional ensembles, including fitted skirts, blouses, jeans, and sweaters.
Considering the details of these dress codes will allow you to put together a flexible wardrobe that satisfies the requirements of your place of work.
Diverse Styles to Building Your Formal Office Wear For Women
Tailored Suit: Invest in a smartly tailored suit in classic shades like charcoal grey, black, or navy. In formal office wear, women choose high-quality materials, like wool or a wool blend, for durability and a classy appearance.
Shirts and Blouses: Fill your wardrobe with a selection of button-down shirts and blouses in pastel colors or designs. Crisp white shirts are timeless and versatile, while silk blouses add a touch of elegance.
Pencil Skirts: An essential piece of formal office wear for women, pencil skirts build the figure and go well with blazers, sweaters, and blouses. For a chic look, go for knee-length or slightly shorter.
Dresses: Invest in fitted wrap or skirt styles that elongate your body without being too exposing. Stay modest in length and stay away from excessive frills or prints.
Cardigans and blazers: The secret to adaptable office wear is layering. A well-fitting jacket instantly makes any outfit seem better, and cardigans are warm and easy to take off when necessary.
Trousers: Choose fitted dress pants with a straight or slightly curved shape for your trousers. Neutral colors, like charcoal, navy, or black, are adaptable and go well with various tops.
The Jaipur Loom online women clothing store also provides a wide collection to  Buy fusion dresses for women and Buy Indian traditional dress online, which look more stylish and comfortable and traditional for office wear.  
Styling Tips to Elevating Your Look with Formal Office wear for Women
Smart Accessorising: Pick accessories that enhance rather than overshadow your look in formal office wear. Invest in high-quality leather purses or handbags for an elegant look, and go for secretive jewelry like stud earrings or a plain necklace.
Pay Attention to Your Shoes: Closed-toe heels or neutral-colored loafers are a good choice for the workplace. Be clear of fashionable or high heels, as they could detract from your professionalism.
Maintain Hygiene Standards: Be mindful of your appearance, which includes tidy hair, manicured nails, and little makeup. Avoid wearing solid fragrances at work and keep odors mild.
Various Types of Indian Ethnic Wear For Office
The modern workplace is becoming more accepting of variety and independence, so now is a great time to wear formal office wear for women that reflects your cultural background. Indian traditional clothing provides various stylish and attractive options that may be modified to give you a professional yet unique look.
Fabrics:
Cotton: Cotton is a classic, airy fabric that works well in warmer weather. Use clean cotton in moderate designs or solid colors for a professional appearance.
Silk: Adding a touch of elegance to every outfit, consisting of luxurious and elegant silk. For blouses or dupattas, go for lighter silks; for bold kurtas, choose heavier silks.
Linen: A naturally clean and excellent fabric perfect for summer wear. Linen trousers or kurtas give us a relaxed yet professional outlook.
Styles:
Kurtis: Cotton Black Kurta offers an up-to-date version of Indian formal office wear for women suitable for business settings. Choose kurtis with modern designs, elegant designs, or solid colors for a stylish look. Match loose trousers or fitted trousers to create an innovative and formal look. Finish the look with bright earrings or a thick necklace to add flair without removing the professional overall look.
Salwar Suits: Salwar suits are an excellent choice for long work hours since they provide an ideal mix of comfort and style. For a more fitting look, match an A-line or straight-cut kameez with churidars or trousers that fit well. Try altering the sleeves and neckline length to find a watch that suits you. For a more professional look, add simple jewelry as an accessory. Choose airy materials like silk or cotton for maximum comfort without losing style.
Indo-Western Fusion: Indo-Western fusion clothing offers a smooth blending of Western and Indian components, perfect for making an impression at work. Mix and match fusion tops with culottes or pencil skirts for a chic yet modern style. To give your outfit an ethnic touch, combine traditional Indian designs or embroidery with modern techniques. Balance the business with neutral tones and structured accessories to maintain a professional appearance.
Getting a sense of formal workplace wear is more than just following dress standards; it's about using your clothes to communicate professionalism, competence, and self-assurance. You may walk the business world with elegance and grace if you make significant decisions, understand what's required of you, and add your style. Recall that you are prepared to take on any professional challenge that comes your way when you look and feel your best. We hope you liked this little blog for formal office wear for women.
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globaldayofparents · 2 years
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45% of parents say they feel disconnected from their families because of technology.
Teens are under more social pressure than ever with the rise of virtual media platforms. According to the American Psychological Associations' (APA) annual Stress in America survey, 45% of parents say they feel disconnected from their families because of technology. More than half of parents say they worry about the influence of social media on their child's physical and mental health. What's a parent to do?
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"The complete physical social isolation for teens during the pandemic is especially concerning," says Kimberly Vacek, PhD, Nebraska Medicine psychologist. "Rather than actual social interaction, they are interacting online, giving much more room to overanalyze, misperceive information and become distracted from being mindful of their internal world." 
Parents often struggle with a healthy balance too. Since adolescent brains are still developing, it's especially important we take steps to help them set limits to protect their mental and physical health. 
The impact of technology on teens
In a poll conducted by the organization Common Sense Media, 50% of teens reported that they felt they were addicted to their mobile devices, while 78% said that they check their digital devices hourly. Research shows that setting limits are helpful to decrease the negative impact of tech use, particularly in these areas:
Depression and anxiety
Studies link social media use to a decline in overall well-being, suggesting that time reduction decreased symptoms of depression and loneliness. 
Even reducing the time by a half-hour per day is shown to significantly lower depression and anxiety symptoms.  Studies assessing depression show a reduction after a digital detox regardless of how long the detox is practiced.
Sleep disturbances
It is well known that the use of technology before bed interferes with sleep quality. One study found that 70% of participants checked social media on their phones while in bed, with 15% spending an hour or more while in bed. Studies show that using social media in bed at night increased the likelihood of anxiety, insomnia and shorter sleep duration.
Social comparisons and stress levels
Research reports a connection between higher stress levels and checking social media posts often throughout the day. In addition, social comparisons can lead to lower self-esteem and a fear of missing out (FOMO). "Active use often leads to external validation or seeking approval from others, which can ultimately lead to self-scrutiny and self-loathing," says Dr. Vacek. "At extremes, especially in adolescents, active use can lead to ridicule or attack (cyberbullying)."
How parents can help their teens set healthy tech limits 
Helping teens strike a health balance takes intention, patience and consistency. If you struggle with tech limits yourself, start by taking your own healthy steps to show your kids it can be done. Here are more tips from Dr. Vacek:
Talk with them about how they are feeling. Ask them specific things about their day and avoid generalities (i.e. how was your day?). If they are closed off, make sure to let them know you care about knowing how they feel. Ask them what they need from you for support. Reassure them that whatever they do, no matter what, you'll love them and help them work through things
Help them plan activities with you and with others – with and without tech. For example, invite friends over when your kids play video games even if they could play online. If there needs to be device time, do it together as a family instead of separately
For younger teens, consider downgrading them from a smartphone to one that only allows simple phone and text. They may object, but this will significantly limit screen time and can help reduce the struggle that parents often experience
For older teens, decide on the set amount of Wi-Fi time they get each day. Consider adding or subtracting based on positive or negative consequences. Give them strategies for managing difficult emotions when they don't have devices, which has become a coping strategy for many teens
Instead of digital time, encourage activities like journaling, exercising, reading an actual book, drawing, learning a new hobby or talking with a trusted friend or counselor
Create no-phone zones, particularly in the bedroom one hour before bedtime. Blue lights trick our brain into thinking it's not time to wind down. Another example is no phones at the dinner table, or for 30 to 60 minutes in the evening as a family
An occasional digital detox may be a good practice to do as a family. Fill the time you would have spent on devices doing something active together
"If you're finding it difficult to disconnect from technology or are concerned about its impact on your teenager, please reach out to a mental health professional," says Dr. Vacek. "If it feels like digital influences may be negatively impacting your mental health, we are here to help."
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neonattack · 2 years
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Home office decoration Tips
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Nowadays, everybody has the luxury of a home office. No matter how much we work or if it's simply practical, we must try to make this place as productive and efficient as possible. Here are some home office decoration tips. 
Be cautious with colors
Bright blue can help clarify thoughts, while soft blues can help relax the mind and improve concentration. Bright colors, such as orange and yellow, boost creativity and energy, but overuse may create anxiety.
A soft green can be the perfect option for a compromise. In the psychology of color, green is associated with harmony and balance and is the middleman between warming, warm colors and soothing cool colors.
Darker shades may look elegant, but they're not as stimulating and could cause you to be tired and less motivated to get work done. Keep your room open and light, but consider the possibility of painting one wall in with a more striking color to stimulate your imagination.
Take a look at what you require, and then work your way from there
The purpose behind creating an office space is that it's an ideal space to work in. Therefore, practicality and efficiency are paramount.
If you require lots of storage space, ensure you look for a desk with plenty of drawers or an imposing shelving unit to maximize your vertical space.
Chalkboards and desk organizers will keep you in the loop. When you've identified what you require, you can begin looking for what you're looking for.
Draw a line across the space
If you do not have space, Do not fret. Consider dividing a portion of your room and making it your office space. Make use of curtains, a screen, or space dividers to separate the area.
If you're an artist, you can create your partitions by connecting three pieces of MDF with hinges and embellishing them with chic wallpaper.
Your workspace must be an inspiration to others
Although too much could make your desk look messy, a few things that motivate you are beneficial. Postcards with photos of places you like, a mood board, or a carefully chosen print and pattern to brighten your office space will create a more productive workspace. However, be cautious about doing it sparingly, as clutter will only overwhelm your thoughts.
Get outside
Consider converting your outdoor shed or garden room to a workspace. Outdoor offices work well since they create an impression of being away from the daily routine and provide fewer distractions. Additionally, being close to nature can also help inspire your work.
Rejuvenate yourself with the rejuvenating aspects of nature
The research suggests that we could create a more enjoyable and healthier life by being near the outdoors. Watching nature scenes can decrease tension, anger, and exhaustion and increase energy, happiness, and cognitive functioning levels.
Consider putting an indoor herb tree or bonsai garden on your desk. Alternatively, you could choose an artwork that depicts the natural surroundings.
IMPROVE YOUR GAMING ROOM WITH NEON LED SIGNS!
LED neon signs for gaming rooms make for impressive and vivid rooms. Your family, you, or friends will love them, as they'll be memorable and fun.
Investing in expensive lighting or costly fixtures is optional to accomplish this. Customized neon LED signs can transform your room into a dream area, shop neon signs online today.
FINAL THOUGHTS!
The experience you have in an office space that is filled with neon signs must be distinctive. If you and your office mates are gathered in this space for work, you'll be able to make better memories. Neon signs for home offices are perfect for your area. They enhance the ambiance and give your room a unique look. They are also great for setting the right mood and accentuating special effects.
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nientedal · 4 years
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So, the JKR bullshit.
She has published one book with a dangerous, unstable trans lady trying to kill the protagonist. Now she has announced another book, this one featuring a serial killer cis man who dresses as a (muslim!) woman in order to stalk his victims.
(What the fuck muslims have to do with all this, I don't know. The scenario wasn't fucked enough so she added Islamophobia to the mix, I guess? Hey, great job, JK. Really knocked this one out of the park.)
But like, she's been going on for a while about this whole "trans women are scary - oh I mean, er, men? in dresses? men in dresses are scary! Trans women are cool though, totally, except I don't actually think they're women at all even if they are trans and not just confused." And I have been sitting here sort of vibrating with rage about this, but... I've also been very confused about just how hard she seems to be pushing. She's obsessed. I don't get it. How does one person go this hard on their hatred whole still denying they hate anyone? How does that not cause any cognitive dissonance?
Well, I went back and read the essay she posted back in January, and a few things jumped out at me, but what I think everything boils down to is: "I'm scared of men due to past trauma and I believe my fear is justified. Also, I don't think people can be trusted to know their own realities." (but I think the latter point may be a red herring; or, if genuine, it takes a serious back seat.)
She mentions an "avalanche of emails and letters...which were positive, grateful and supportive...from a cross-section of kind, empathetic and intelligent people...who’re all deeply concerned about...dangers to young people, gay people and about the erosion of women’s and girl’s rights" after and while the Twitter stuff went down. Also, she says one of her early "cancellations" was due to her following (and contacting) Magdalen Berns, a terminally ill lesbian feminist and "a great believer in the importance of biological sex, [who] didn’t believe lesbians should be called bigots for not dating trans women with penises."
So basically - she was already casually bigoted on a bunch of fronts (that much has been evident for a while), but on trans issues specifically...she opened herself intentionally to the TERF community, and they supported and empathized with her in a time when she was being harassed and re-traumatized on Twitter. She said in her essay that she believes we're living in a more misogynistic time than ever before. It's evident that she feels her fears are being confirmed everywhere she turns, and instead of asking "am I right to be afraid?" she's saying "because I am afraid, there is something to be afraid of."
This passage is, I think, the meat of it:
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She tips her hand when she says "any man who believes or feels he's a woman" instead of "anyone who says they're a woman." She claims to fear cis men who lie & take advantage, but she does not think trans women can be trusted, either.
Lack of trust is a running theme throughout the essay, by the way: she believes that without a long and arduous pre-transition vetting process, no one - not even trans people - can really be sure a person is transgender. They'll want to detransition, they'll regret their decision, lose their dysphoria, they're autistic and confused, they're girls who want to be boys to escape misogyny. Blah blah blah trans people can't be trusted to know their experiences and shouldn't be allowed to decide what kind of care they need.
And I'm pissed.
But yeah, this is where that book is coming from. And the really hilarious (read: infuriating) thing about this is, she has completely fucking ignored the fact that if a cis man wanted to hunt women while dressing as one, there was already nothing stopping him. He could do that in the 1960s, the 1880s, 600CE, 5700BCE, whenever. No one is standing at the bathroom door checking to see who's got a vulva and who doesn't. Men can and do assault women in bathrooms already, without ever dressing up as one. Jo? Hey, Jo? Men don't need to dress up in order to hurt women. You absolute goddamned moron.
Anyway. She's scared and trying to justify it, and I get that, I really do, but it's not helpful or rational and writing this nonsense is not going to make her feel any better. It's only going to hurt people. I know she has been abused and assaulted and that maybe makes her vulnerable to her fear and to the suggestion that she's right to be afraid, but - wow, I'm ever so fucking sorry - I do not give a rat's patoot. She has preemptively burned every ounce of goodwill she might otherwise have received from me. She didn't deserve what happened to her, but she needs to reevaluate her trauma and get better therapy; she is holding the world responsible for the fear that lives inside her, the fear she can't let go of, and she is hurting people. In this case, she was met with what she saw as abuse and instead of just saying "I don't deserve this level of vitriol, but wow I seem to have pissed off an awful lot of people; maybe I'm missing something," she ran to look for why she might not deserve it (no one deserves abuse, ever, full stop; looking for a reason you don't deserve it only implies that circumstances exist under which you would deserve it) and why everyone yelling at her might be Wrong and Bad and Abusive. And then, just to be sure, she invented a reason that fit her fear and wrote a book about it to prove her fear was real and rational.
Her fear is real, book or no book. But it is not rational. If a man wants to prey on women in bathrooms, he can do so right now. If someone begins to transition and goes "hey wait this isn't for me," that's on them. That's nobody else's lookout. That is not her fucking responsibility to worry about or gatekeep.
And let's get something straight: I'm not saying this is Twitter's fault for yelling at her. I am not saying she deserves sympathy and a free pass. I'm making an observation about what I think she saw and reacted to. Twitter didn't give her that reaction; she reacted all by herself; she's a racist transphobe who refuses to entertain the merest notion that she might be a racist transphobe, and that is on her!!! She's fucked up and she's bound and determined to fuck everyone else up, too. I am ALSO not saying this is a recent development or totally unforeseeable; she wrote plenty of shitty shit into Harry Potter too, including but not limited to:
Cho Chang's name
Someone infected with a thinly-veiled metaphor for HIV intentionally infecting children with it
House elves: slaves who enjoy being enslaved
The Gringotts goblins
The entire Wizarding world treating sentient non-humans as lesser beings and...never really questioning this. Some of the characters think that's a bit fucky, but the narration is just kinda fine with it.
So like, I am absolutely not defending her or calling for sympathy towards her! She was already merrily skipping in this direction with her fingers in her ears, chanting la-la-la, and has been for a while. But the above points could be examples of unthinking, unquestioning biases and prejudices, if only because they aren't the point of those novels the way "men r scary!" seems to be the point of this one.
I don't think she was radicalized then the way she seems to be, now. I guess that's what I'm trying to say.
Unfortunately the one thing JKR has been consistently good at over the years is never admitting fault, ever; I am CERTAIN people tried to talk to her about those things, and I am certain she did not and does not care. Also, her pen-name, Robert Galbraith, is a direct reference to Robert Galbraith Heath, one of the fathers of conversion therapy; she is not acting in good faith, here.
But yeah. If you're wondering where the hell all this particular nonsense is coming from - here it is. My take, anyway. It is coming from her fear of men, plus her total inability to entertain the idea that she might be wrong about something. She's scared of men who want to hurt women and she sees them everywhere she turns, and she sees trans women as an opportunity for wolves to wear sheep's clothing. And she will never, no matter how polite we are, revise that or turn away from the comfortable world she lives in, where she's afraid but always right.
So we might as well just keep screaming. The louder you are, the harder it is for bigots to talk over you, and speaking softly to bullies has never stopped any bully I've ever met. And I do not know what to call someone who picks Robert Fucking Galbraith as their pseudonym except a bully and a bigot.
As for what else to do about it...I don't know. I don't know that there's anything that will actually get results. Writing to her publishers and distributors might help. I saw one post that suggested we all hype this book up so the publishers print more copies, and then we don't buy them, causing a giant loss. That makes sense enough to me but I'm not sure how to swing it.
I really don't know. I'm just angry and throwing my two cents into the void, here. I was angry and confused before, so I went looking for answers, and now I'm just fucking angry. I don't know if that's better, but it is what it is.
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whirlybirbs · 3 years
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          (  this chapter’s gif by @ransomflanagan​ from this beautiful set !  )
✪   —   VACANT MIRRORS  ;  B.B.  |  5/?
summary: your plan goes to asbolute shit.
pairing: bucky barnes / f!reader
tags: set before & during tfatws, friends to lovers, therapy positive, trauma healing techniques, ptsd mentions, the normalization of anxiety disorders, and a good ol’ slow burn
word count: 9k, please pray for my fingers
a/n: there’s action, there’s gunshot wounds, there’s canon appropriate violence! this one has a lot of plot, a lot of action, and i truly want to sleep for seven days after writing this. you should listen to the glass cannon’s club playlist while you read, though, for vibez.
       (   PREVIOUSLY   |    AO3    |    MASTERLIST   |   NEXT  )
You do have a plan.
Maybe it’s a little vague, a little messy, and a little up-in-the-air, but it’s a plan.
Get in, find Kiwi, avoid a handful of unsavory characters, and access the Alexandria Library.
Getting the hell out The Glass Cannon once you and Bucky were in was going to be a whole different plan entirely — one that was more improv than anything else. Hopefully, running a quick facial recognition program wouldn’t take long. With any luck, it would get a hit on any more recent aliases Innessa Sidrova was using after parsing the motherload of information Kiwi held onto with her life.
Kiwi wasn’t always known as Kiwi. She worked at SHIELD, like you, and back then she was known as Suji Awal. She stuck around longer — and she’d stayed on board during the active collapse to do heaven-sent work. It was an absolute Hail Mary, but while HYDRA had tried to purge all of SHIELD’s cloud data to protect their active agents and decades of progress, Suji had beat the hare in the race. Two steps ahead, she’d managed to pull nearly 97% of all confidential data including mission reports, agent profiles, and even electronic correspondence. While the metaphorical fire burned the documents behind her, she’d managed to salvage one of the only surviving, comprehensive looks at SHIELD before the curtain was pulled back to reveal HYDRA’s infection.
It had been used to try multiple HYDRA agents in the wake of it all in the federal courts. It was significant evidence, but after nearly all was reaped from the crop, Suji had taken the aptly named Alexandria Library and gone underground. Now, Kiwi was just another hacker in the thick of it and the Alexandria files were all but whispers.
It’s all about knowing the right people in the end.
Kiwi was a regular at The Glass Cannon. There was a nine out of ten chance you’d find her there. And if you didn’t find Kiwi, you’d probably find Climber and… Well, going to him wasn’t the most ideal situation, but out of the menagerie of acquaintances you’d gathered up throughout the years, you could trust Climber. He’d send you Kiwi’s way if you finally called in that favor he owed you. Either way, you’d find her and you’d get the files.
You just needed to avoid Alexei Gardzov.
Easy. Ish.
In truth, you barely get anything done Thursday — you’re too preoccupied in your head, running over the so-called plan even now as you fold laundry in the basement of your apartment complex.
You’d dug around in your closet, trying to find some semblance of an outfit. It was difficult. It wasn’t like the barely-there dresses and platform shoes were your thing anymore. Back then, your diet was mostly energy drinks and alcohol — in a way, it’s a relief to find that a good number of your staple outfits no longer fit. It made you feel like you really had put all this behind you.
You have.
Sure, it was the Rabbit you were going to have to be for tonight, but you’re not the Rabbit you were eight years ago. Good thing, too. You’re not too sure you and Bucky would have gotten along otherwise. Right now, your relationship with him was the biggest thing keeping you afloat — for the first time in a long time, you feel like you have some sort of purpose, even if it was a vague one at best.
You knew Innessa Sidrova was a threat — and you knew Bucky had to remedy that threat. You knew he felt responsible for creating her, for planting her in a position of power where she could manipulate and control. In truth, there was still a lot of vagueness surrounding his past. He’d made it clear he hasn’t been himself for a long time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to wade through the muck of his trauma to pluck out your answers. It just felt wrong.
If you were to say you hadn’t been tempted to go out on your own and dig, that’d be a lie.
Even now, as you pull out the ink-black top from the dryer and fold it neatly on top of the other pieces of laundry needed for tonight, you can feel it sparking like a lighter in the back of your head.
He was keeping something from you.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
You nearly jump six feet in the air.
It’s Miss Bonnie — and she’s laughing when her feet touch the cold concrete of the unfinished floor. Her basket of laundry is balanced neatly on her hip, and she walks with a smirk on her face. Her hair is piled neatly on top of her head, and as she bends to plop the basket down, she offers a wink.
“I could hear you thinking from upstairs,” she ruminates, paisley and dyed skirts kissing the ground, “Like a little steam engine.”
You laugh quietly into your task. You duck your head and heft a black bra and jeans from the dryer. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
She looks up, eyes moving carefully from the laundry pile to your face. Her eyes glimmer with quiet curiosity. “And a big night planned, huh?”
You snort. “What was the giveaway?”
“It’s always the lacey bras,” she chirps and slides a smirk your way as she waggles a finger at your pile, “And the strappy little bodysuit was a good hint, too.”
You exhale with a laugh, bracing a hand against the dryer. She’s not wrong — you’d really forgone comfort with this outfit lineup. It was temporary, though, and well worth the efforts if it meant helping Bucky tick off a name from his list of amends. You knew how much those meant to him.
“So,” she continues, voice muddled as she continues to load the washer, “I take it this friend of yours is really helping you out of your shell?”
“I guess so. Yeah. It’s — It’s sort of a mutual shell-cracking, I guess.”
“Mm,” a hum, “You sound troubled, though.”
Your mouth opens as your fingers trace the line of the bodysuit. You pause, and you rock back on your heels. Miss Bonnie notices.
She waits patiently, bent at the knees.
“You ever just…” you wave your hand, “Feel like — I don’t know. He’s my friend. My best friend, honestly, and that’s… Really saying a lot. But, there’s stuff under the surface and I know it’s not my business but…”
Out comes a strangled groan.
“What? Like a crazy ex-girlfriend?”
“No, no — I don’t think so,” you mutter, “Wouldn’t surprise me, though.”
“Handsome?” she asks, smiling.
You close your eyes and ignore the smile on your face as you reply. “Yea, handsome.”
“Well, have you tried asking?” she shrugs as she stands, “Not about the crazy ex, but about the stuff you’re worried about? It never hurts.”
“Problem is, I don’t really think it’s too much of my business.”
Miss Bonnie hums at that and presses the start on her washer. She’s quiet for a bit, swaying slightly as she weighs the conversation and you watch — enamored with the older woman’s calm wisdom. She gestures openly with ringed hands.
“I think it’s normal for us to want to know everything about those we care about,” she says, “We want to know how we can protect them, how we can comfort them. But… it comes in due time. All of it does. You’ll find a time when he does open up about the ex, or whatever it is on his mind. You’re friends, after all.”
You’re nodding, chest tight with thanks.
Miss Bonnie’s face is soft.
“You got a picture?” she chirps like a bird looking for a worm, “I wanna see who this little friend is. And if he really is as handsome as you’re suggesting...”
You scoff and lean to dig out your phone.
“Cut it out,” you mumble as she moves closer, “No playing matchmaker.”
“Sure, sure,” she waves, leaning to watch as you scroll through your camera roll.
The only photo you have of Bucky is there from Tuesday night — after he’d housed nearly an entire container of noodles and promptly passed out during the third Lord of the Rings movie. You’d woken up around one in the morning to find that Poke had unceremoniously curled up on top of the supersoldier’s chest. Bucky’s hand was still in the calico’s fur as he dozed, the colors of the TV painting his face all sorts of peaceful. You’d taken the photo, shoving it in his face after gently nudging him awake.
He’s laughed.
You gesture to show Miss Bonnie.
Like ice, she freezes.
You notice a microexpression dart across her face, but it’s gone in an instant. You can’t pin it, but the way she bends to pull the phone closer and zoom in on her face comes off as interest. You blink, label it as shock, and move on.
Her voice sounds different.
“Handsome,” she mumbles plainly, preoccupied with the sight, “I get it now. What’s his name?”
“Bucky,” you say as she hands the phone back, “He’s… He’s a good person.”
Miss Bonnie just nods.
You tuck your phone away and plop your laundry into your basket. Ignoring the sudden quiet that had crept between you both, you haul up the stack and offer her a gentle smile. She’s fiddling with the washer’s timer.
“Thank you, Miss Bonnie.”
“Of course,” she rushes out, smiling gently, “And be safe tonight.”
“I will.”
With your promise, you ascend the stairs.
In that basement, Bonnie McLayne is no more, and instead, Innessa Sidrova remembers that night in Moscow, back in 1975.
She remembers the Winter Soldier.
                                      ◦   ◦   ◦   ◦   
Bucky calls you three times with no answer.
Normally, he’d just give up — but it was Thursday, and you weren’t answering the buzzer to your apartment either. He tries his best to ignore the strike of panic that sparks in his chest. It could stoke a wildfire, really, but he pushes it down and remembers to breathe. He doesn’t let himself think about what he’d do if something happened to you.
After all, you’re probably fine. Sleeping, maybe. The both of you had a long night ahead.
(Longer than either of you realize, really.)
It’s nearly seven o’clock, and after trying your cell one more time from his perch on your apartment’s stoop, Bucky decides to say fuck it.
A well-adjusted person might frown upon what he was about to do, but Bucky wasn’t exactly well-adjusted, now was he?
He rounds the back alley with long strides and easily finds that, with a little maneuvering, he can hoist himself upwards on top of the nearest dumpster. With a well-timed hop, he can also snag the bottom of the fire escape’s ladder and haul it downwards. The rest is easy, and he’s scaling the fire escape to the third floor with ease before he even knows it.
There’s even a smug little smirk on his face the whole time he does.
Finding your window is a little harder, but Bucky eventually spots Poke’s round little body smushed against the glass — it’s a dead giveaway, and after some prowling, he finds the window to your living room and unceremoniously throws it open.
It’s unlocked, for whatever reason, and he makes a mental note to have a conversation with you about safety and security in the city. After all, you never knew when an ex-assassin supersoldier was going to break in and pet your cat.
Upon opening the window, he pieces together pretty quickly why you’re not answering. Could be the music coming from your bedroom, or even the singing that’s coupled alongside it. From the bathroom across the hall from your room, steam has settled above on the ceiling. The whole apartment smells like fruit and soap and perfume and Bucky’s not really sure how to parse through all the sensory experiences that greet him with he shimmies in through the window, legs first.
All in all, they make him smile.
Bucky shuts the window behind him as he’s quickly greeted by Poke — the calico offers a gratuitous little chirp when Bucky bends to scoop up the cat. Easily, he melts. Poke is purring loudly in his ear as Bucky takes a moment to survey your apartment a little bit closer. Mr. Poke Bowl rubs his face against Bucky’s stubble as the man weaves through the kitchen.
It’s very you.
He isn’t really sure what that means at the end of the day, but all he knows is that he feels at home here. He feels safe. He feels comfortable. He feels like he can be himself. Not James, not Sergeant Barnes, not The Winter Soldier. Not even Steve’s Bucky, but just… his Bucky. Himself. Sarcastic and exhausted and a little cynical.
Bucky lets Poke down on the counter and moves to the fridge.
There’s still beer from the other night in there, tucked in the back, so he makes easy work on popping open a bottle and busying himself with petting a very adamant Poke.
As he sips the Leinenkugel, it’s no small coincidence that his phone buzzes again — for what feels like the hundredth time today — with a message from Janelle.
She was nice — pretty, too. Once upon a time, she would have been his type.
That was before he met you, though.
There’s a little pinprick of mortification at that quiet confession that’s been slipping into his heart more and more in the last few days. You are, after all, his best friend. He’s your best friend. Guilt swims with the feelings that have begun to pluck his heartstrings and he has to admit he’s not too comfortable with the song they play.
His biggest fear is fucking this up.
Fucking you up.
Honestly, his track record isn’t great. The whole defrosted-international-threat bit made it a little difficult to date. Janelle seemed to think the date had gone well enough, though, hence the handful of texts he’d been getting every few hours asking if he’s free.
Like usual, he ignores them.
Exercising his own free will is hard sometimes. Especially when it comes to saying no.
Taking another swig of the beer, Bucky shoves his phone back into his pocket and tucks his fingers back into Poke’s fur. The calico’s tail swings patiently as he sits and watches — and it’s a little weird how human his eyes are for a second there. He mmrrps and lunges for Bucky’s hand when he comes close, bonking his head eagerly against the cool vibranium.
It’s a different sensation.
That’s another big adjustment — learning how things really feel with this new arm. It’s not just handling recoil or gripping knives or throwing punches. It’s the soft tickle of fur, the gentle pressure of a warm rag to clean the joints. Meticulous upkeep wasn’t something HYDRA did often. He doesn’t miss the twinge of pain and molasses-like stickiness that came with a dirty arm. Blood was the worst. Always sat deep in the cracks.
He flexes his fingers. Poke meows again.
He moves to plop down on the couch. Poke follows.
You’re singing, still, to some song that Bucky’s never heard, when you push open your bedroom door and move towards the living room.
You jump six feet in the air and scream when you see him just sitting there, clutching a beer and petting Poke like he fucking lives here rent-free.
Bucky’s reaction is muted, mostly because he’s a little too preoccupied with your outfit and your jewelry and the pink eye shadow that creeps up your brow-bone. There’s glitter on your eyelids and lip gloss on your mouth and he can smell some sort of candy-sweet perfume coming off you. The plunging neckline of the jet-black top is enough to leave him shifting his gaze back up to your startled expression with a tight jaw.
His face is blank.
Then he offers that stupid fucking smile he does. Y’know, the tight-lipped one where he somehow maintains a dead-eyed look the whole time. If you weren’t trying to calm your racing heartbeat, you might have laughed. You hate the white-hot flare it sparks in your chest.
“How the fuck did you get in here?” you hiss, waving your hands.
“We need to have a serious conversation about locking our windows,” he says as he kicks his feet up on the coffee table and wags a finger at you, “Also, what are you wearing?”
“You — You fucking broke in through my window?”
“Yea, well, you were too busy pretending to be Britney Spears to hear me try and buzz up, and my phone calls.”
Sheepishly, you cross your arms. “Nice reference—”
A shrug from Bucky. “Thank you.”
“—Also, what are you wearing?”
He looks down at his usual t-shirt, leather jacket combo. He squints back up at you.
“I’m sorry,” he chirps, “You’re talking to me? Did the department store run out of fabric, Rabbit?”
You self-consciously adjust the plunging neckline of the bodysuit as you frown deeply. “I think I’m gonna skip on the fashion advice from the man who lived in a time where ankles were seen as scandalous.”
“I was born in 1917,” he mumbles as he stands, actively avoiding another pass over your outfit because as much as he hates to admit it, it’s not a bad look on you, “Not 1817.”
“Point being, we’re going to a club. And you look like you’re going to the local Home Depot,” you move to snag a set of dangly earrings that are sitting on the coffee table, “We’ve gotta look like we’re there to party, nothing more.”
Bucky sighs. He finishes the beer, places the bottle down and sheds his jacket. “So, what?”
You pry your eyes away from the flash of skin — his arm, flesh and blood, speaks to how strong he is. And, undoubtedly how easy it was for him to fucking scale three stories of the fire escape to bust in.
“So,” you mumble as you thread the earring in, “I have some of Jaimie’s old shirts. There’s probably something you can use… If they fit.”
Bucky exhales softly. “You kept them?”
“Didn’t have the heart to throw them out,” you reply as you gesture for him to follow you into your bedroom.
The back of your top is arguably more crisis-inducing than the front — it’s an open back, and Bucky settles on admiring the decor rather than the curve of your spine. He has to. For his own fucking self-composure.
Your bedroom is nice — and like the rest of your space, it makes him feel comfortable. It’s all warm colors and posters and plants in the corners. Across from your queen-sized bed, there’s a large desk with a triple monitor setup. That’s where the music is coming from. The little knick-knacks on your shelves and desk make him chuckle.
Then, he stops, halfway to the closet, and stares.
You blink over your shoulder as you bend, digging to the back of your closet to pull out the clear bin you’d piled most of Jaimie’s stuff into after the funeral. After you’d cleaned out his apartment on your own.
He’s looking at the poster — the one from Cap’s USO tour. It’s framed nicely, set up on the wall beside your desk. It’s got a gold frame, and Bucky can’t help but wander closer to look at the signature.
It’s Steve’s alright.
“How much did you pay for this?”
You scoff. Your necklaces tinker together. “Don’t even go there.”
“The jerk signed thousands of these,” he mumbles, crossing his arms as he leans closer, “And still, the fame didn’t go to his head.”
You smile softly, leaning back.
“Jealous?” you chirp, raising your brows as you pretend to swoon, “Oh, Sergeant Barnes, I’d just love to meet your dear friend—”
Bucky’s laughing as you swat at his knee, leaning back on the carpet like a damsel in distress.
“Shut up,” he snorts, “It’s a sore subject for me.”
“Oh my god.”
“I’m serious — do you know how many dates I had to set up for the chump? And then, boom. I’m invisible.”
“Yeah, well,” you mutter with a smile, unclicking the lid, “Some people just like blondes, Buck. I’m sure there were plenty of eyes on you. Stop being so dramatic.”
“Yea, the best friend, sure,” he mumbles at the poster, “Hell, he was taller than me. You know you don’t need to lie to me—”
“Listen, if I was some Lauren Bacall-looking nurse back then,” you wave your hands, “I’d have gone for you. Alright? Stop lamenting and get over here.”
He goes quiet and ignores the warmth in his cheeks. He squats by your side. “Shut up.”
“We seriously need to work on taking compliments,” you groan, throwing your head back, “I’m being serious, y’know, for once. And I’m not just saying it as your friend. You’re handsome and everyone knows it except you, apparently. My neighbor agrees that’s for sure.”
He squints.
You wave it off and gesture to your outfit. “She saw me doing laundry.”
“That explains nothing,” Bucky deadpans, “Literally nothing.”
“I showed her a picture,” you cry indignantly, moving to shuffle through some of the old t-shirts sitting on top of the bin, “Relax.”
He moves to plop down, crossing his legs beneath him. He decides to let the topic die — again, for his own self-composure more than anything. The compliment, though vehemently denied by the worst part of him, is tucked neatly in the homes of his heart. The idea of meeting you, before now, is a little intoxicating. What would it have been like?
Would you have even spared him a dance?
Bucky rubs his cheek. Poke meows and buts the door open with his head.
You’re wrist-deep in the bin when you speak. “He’s obsessed with you, y’know.”
Poke has already taken up a post in Bucky’s lap. Bucky smiles, petting Poke gently with his vibranium hand. The cat seems to like the cool metal. Bucky mumbles softly down to the calico, scritching his cheeks. “I like him, too.”
You pause long enough to try and remember the sight.
Bucky’s eyes find yours, and you’re quick to turn back to the bin.
“Here we go,” you exhale as you pull out the shirt you’d been looking for.
It’s a long-sleeve button-down, one that you can distinctly remember Jaimie wearing to his engagement party’s after-party — a real typical night of Jaimie being Jaimie. It’s black with a barely-there red floral pattern. It’s flashy enough that Bucky won’t look horribly out of place.
The only problem is Jaimie was a little smaller than Bucky.
“Try this on,” you mumble as you dig around trying to find something else in case it doesn’t do the trick.
Bucky catches the silk shirt and gives it a once over. He raises an eyebrow, and deciding against debating this, he simply nudges Poke off his lap and stands.
He moves to your bed, laying the shirt out. On your closet door is a full-length mirror. You want to snap it in half when you accidentally catch a glimpse of Bucky hauling off his black, cotton t-shirt and anxiously fumbling with the buttons on Jaimie’s old shirt. You have to breathe — and remind yourself that that’s Bucky.
Your Bucky. Your best friend Bucky.
When he calls your name, it sounds far away. You’re busy angrily sorting through old clothes.
“I look ridiculous.”
When you turn around, the first thing you notice is that it’s a little tight. Not in a bad way, but the buttons are gapping along his chest, and it’s tight around his arms.
Your eyes widen a little and you swallow. You tilt your head.
Bucky’s frowning.
“Let me see,” you offer gently, standing and moving close, “It’s not that bad.”
“You don’t sound too sure right now,” he mumbles as you enter his personal space.
You’re nimble with undoing the top three buttons — it gives him enough room to move his shoulders, though, and the dip of the shirt along his sternum brings dog tags into view. You reach, momentarily entranced, and read them to yourself.
You smell like vanilla and sugar.
Bucky shifts in his boots.
“Y’know,” you say, moving to the sleeves, “I think this works.”
You roll the sleeves, stopping at his forearm.
When you step aside, Bucky can see himself in the full-length mirror. He looks less than enthused.
It’s not an entirely bad look — he’ll admit that much — but he doesn’t look like himself. No, there’s too much chest and skin and… Christ, this shirt is tight. He does, though, look like some of those trendy folks he sees at Izzy’s bar every now and again. Hipsters.
“I look like a douchebag.”
“That’s the point,” you chirp as you close the box and shove it back into your closet, “Now the outfit matches the personality.”
He swats at your head on the way by. You laugh.
You’ve got boots in your hand, and you land on the bed with a bounce. Bucky is busy fixing his hair in the mirror while you zip up the thigh-high boots. When he turns around, you’re about three inches taller. He blinks, yet again entranced by the outfit.
Then, you’re muscling on the jacket.
It’s neon pink — and shaggy and cropped. It falls just above your waist and swallows you whole. But, Bucky’s attention is mostly on the back.
There’s a large, white embroidered Playboy bunny there, with RABBIT written across the shoulders in a chunky, blackletter typeface.
His brows are high on his face when you turn around.
You freeze.
“...What?” you ask, “Something on my face?”
“Playboy bunny, huh?”
You could smack him. “Weren’t you busy being a frozen dinner when Playboy came out?”
“I’ll have you know,” he says tightly as he follows you out of your bedroom and to the living room, “The Russians enjoyed their fair share of editions.”
“The Russians? Sure, what’s that saying? There’s no sex in the USSR?” you chide, “You can just say Bucky Barnesenjoyed his fair share—”
The tips of his ears are red. You notice. It makes you split into a grin that worsens the pink shade that’s crawling up his neck.
He coughs. “Have you ever considered never opening your mouth again, Rabbit?”
You nudge his arm. “Nah. Bothering you is more fun.”
He shrugs on his jacket, sighs, and decides that keeping quiet is just easier.
However, that’s not entirely your plan — and you speak quickly as you pull your purse over your shoulder. You’re rummaging quietly, stacking your wallet and phone inside. You glance up at him.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” he mumbles, bending to pat Poke one last time as you move to the door of your bedroom. He watches you flick all the lights off, and before you leave, you double check the calico’s food and water. He’s got enough for a few days. Bucky leans against the door frame, “Care to run me through the plan?”
Nodding, you move to open your front door.
“It’ll be easy,” you explain as you make room for him, “If we play our cards right—”
Bucky’s stopped, though, and is digging in his back pocket as his cell phone rings. You watch him exhale tightly, eyes on the screen the entire time he squeezes by you and starts down the hall. You make careful note of the delicate scowl on his face, only before you catch Miss Bonnie out of the corner of her eye.
Her door is half-cracked across the hall, and she’s watching.
She offers you a smile.
Bucky keeps walking.
You wave, lock your door, and jog to catch up to Bucky.
“Hey,” you call, “Earth to Mr. Claw Machine?”
His head snaps up. “Sorry.”
“Who was that?” you ask carefully, nudging his arm with yours, “Falcon?”
“I wish,” he mutters as he muscles the cellphone back into his pocket, “I wouldn’t feel so bad sending him to voicemail.”
“Yeesh,” you wince, “Lemme guess, was it the owner of the coral lipstick that was all over your face on Tuesday night?”
Again, that temptation to feel jealousy flares up in your heart. But, he’s here, isn’t he? With you. Ignoring her calls. And probably texts judging by the guilty look that’s on his face. You feel a little bad — but at the same time, Bucky’s a grown man. Maybe a grown man who needs to create some more transparent lines of communication with the poor woman, but still.
“Bingo. I mean — it’s not that she wasn’t great an’ all but…”
You raise both hands. “I’m not judging.”
He sighs raggedly as he bounces down the apartment’s stairs. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“What?” you ask with a laugh, “Dating? Yea, it’s pretty fucking terrifying, Buck.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
You hold the door open for him and slide him a pitying look.
“Because I am.”
The walk to The Glass Cannon is spent walking Bucky through the plan — and for the most part, he makes a point of nodding along and listening. His only real anxiety pops up at the mention of Alexei, which is relatable to say the least.
It’s dark, the streets are relatively quiet, and the spring chill has pricked your skin. Your heels click against the pavement, and you stalk along. Shoving your hands in your pockets of the pink, shag jacket, you huff.
You’re starting to feel the anxiety.
Fifteen minutes later, you’re both approaching the blue glow of the storefront.
Computers & Stuff was a family-owned and operated computer shop from the 90s that was taken over by a lesser-known hand of the Russian crime family in New York, the Gardzovs. Alexei’s father is the formal owner of the shop, and his son runs the lucrative activities of the underground club that lay beneath the graphics cards and motherboards.
Bucky, as you both near the entrance, speaks quickly. “Anything else I need to know?”
“Just follow my lead, okay?” you whisper.
The bell above the door dings when you pull open the glass door.
The lighting is sterile and if you’re real quiet, you can hear the dull hum of the fluorescents. The store is empty, save for one man behind the register.
You almost duck out the entrance at the sight of him.
Igor has been a bouncer at The Glass Cannon for as long as you’ve been a patron — and he’s also one of Alexei’s dogs. This part of the plan was something you’d considered only briefly, and for a second, you’re thankful you worried over the million and ten ways this would play out for days.
“Well, if it isn’t the little bunny.”
It’s said with malice. Igor’s tattooed hands land on the counter as he leans.
You, however, hold your head high. Bucky watches as something changes in your posture.
“Good to see you, Igor.”
“Is it?” he growls, stalking around the counter and quickly encroaching on your personal space, “Because I’m pretty sure you’re not welcome here, bunny.”
Bucky gets a good look at the man now — clearly an enforcer. He’s got prison tattoos, a shaved head. The long beard is a weak spot. Doesn’t seem to be armed. Blue eyes flick to you and the way you don’t even flinch when the man leans to breathe right in your face.
You just smile.
“I thought you’d say that,” you mumble, moving to swing your bag to the front and dig your wallet out, “But, I’m not here to cause any trouble.”
Suddenly, there’s a hundred-dollar bill slipping from your well-manicured nails into the vest pocket of the bouncer. There’s a tense pause, then, while the two of you size one another up.
“Fucking your way through college paid off, huh?” he hisses.
You stay quiet.
Bucky, though, moves between you both with a quick shove. Immediately, Igor’s attention goes to Bucky as he sizes him up — he laughs. His nose is nearly touching Bucky’s.
“What’s wrong, pretty boy?”
“You should watch your mouth,” Bucky says evenly, “Or I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.”
You’re careful to hide your expression; the feeling the words stir isn’t one that you’re happy about. This sudden protectiveness, though, makes you feel some sort of invincible.
Igor settles back on his heels.
He steps back.
He gestures to the back room with his head.
You keep walking when he calls out: “Careful, bunny, the dogs are going to be looking for you.”
You grit your teeth tightly and push through the fabric curtain.
He barks, taunting you.
Bucky is by your side in an instant, gaze still rooted over his shoulder at the hulking bouncer. He waits until you’ve settled down until you’ve said his name. His eyes fall to you, then to the stairwell before them.
Above it, in curled neon tubing, reads The Glass Cannon.
The windows are blacked out, but from his spot at the top of the stairs, Bucky can feel the rattle of a deep bass vibrate his ribs.
“Come on. We’re on a time crunch now.”
“Alexei?”
You nod as you lead the way down the stairs. “Word travels fast. We need to be quicker. Stick to the crowds. Remember, we just need to find Kiwi — then we bail.”
Bucky nods tensely.
Then, you open the doors.
Immediately, his eyes adjust to the darkness — neon and strobes and the pulse of purple and pink LEDs make his vision swim. It’s warmer down here, and the stairs leading down into the sub-basement is lined with people sipping drinks and chattering over the loud music. It smells like piss and beer and tobacco.
Again, Bucky watches as the person he knows melts away.
The Rabbit in front of him is different.
You reach, as if on reflex, for his hand.
When you turn around and flash him a smile, he has to swallow down a sudden rise of sheepishness.  
The sea of people part around you, and Bucky realizes quickly that people recognize you. He can see their painted lips moving, muttering things into curious ears about the pink-clad woman in front of him; there are smiles there and frowns, and shock. You’re slow in your descent, making a show of the arrival — all while Bucky begins to piece together that The Glass Cannon is larger than he originally suspected.
As they near the bottom of the landing, he can see out across the floor.
There’s a square-shaped catwalk around the dance floor, laden with dancers on their designated poles. Tables line the outside of the cavernous room, and the bars along each wall are crowded — even still, these glimpses of his surroundings come in temporary flashes of light. The music coming from the center of the dancefloor is loud. The entirety of the scene is raucous.
He can’t imagine you finding solace here.
He tightens his grip on your hand. You squeeze back.
When both of you reach the bottom of the stairwell, the sea of people swallow you in a current of dancing and drinking and laughing, and you crawl into Bucky’s personal space to shout in his ear.
You’re still holding his hand tightly, pressed to his chest, as you lean upwards to brush your cheek with his.
“Follow me, okay?”
He nods.
You begin the methodical crawl through the dancefloor, working your way to the bar — there, you pause long enough to be served a drink that’s as pink as the glitter on your eyelids. The flecks dance in the lights, and Bucky graciously accepts a shot from the bartender who smiles sweetly like honey at you.
You bat your lashes, thank her, and stand gracefully from the barstool.
You take a pointed swig and scan the floor.
Kiwi would be in one of the private booths, you suspect — she was enough of a high roller here. But, with the crowded club bursting at the seams, it was nearly impossible to get to the other side. You sway a bit on your feet, still tightly gripping Bucky’s hand in your own. You refuse to let go.
For your sake and his.
Bucky is a silent shadow, eyes roaming the club — he watches a dancer dip down low and snag a green bill from a patron. Someone beside him laughs loud, another bumping into his backside as you continue to weave to the outer rim of the room. The music is so loud his heartbeat could be mistaken for an 808, and he feels the thrum in his bones.
If he wasn’t so overwhelmed, if he was drunk, maybe it could be fun.
Finally, out of the haze of bodies, Bucky can breathe.
You’re leaning over again, speaking quickly.
“I don’t see her.”
“I can’t see shit in here,” he calls back, eyes moving along the ridge of the room. He scans the booths set into the walls, set up on platforms, and roped off with velveteen, “Where would she be?”
“Hard to tell,” you mumble, “But I think I might need to go to Plan B.”
Bucky follows your solid stare.
In the booth directly across the floor from you, there’s a man in black — black everything, save from his hair. That’s the brightest blue Bucky has ever seen. He’s swallowed by a harem of men and women who are laughing and drinking and dancing, and he’s entertaining. Ringed fingers wave in the air, face split into a laugh so wide he swears it’s a mile long. He’s got glasses on and they’re tinted blue.
Bucky watches carefully as you move to his booth.
It’s like a prey surveying a trap — you’re careful.
Finally, when you stand before it, you let go of his hand.
“Hi there, Climber.”
The whole booth falls silent. The man stiffens, back turned to you totally. Bucky watches as his hands fall and slowly, the man you’d called Climber turns around.
His expression is stone cold.
His voice, however, is as warm as a hot poker.
“Oh my goodness, is that Rabbit?”
He ascends from the booth, platform boots leaving him to tower over you — he’s no small man, either. Bucky watches as he bends to kiss both of your cheeks and hug you tightly. He, however, doesn’t pull away entirely.
“What the fuck are you doing here,” he hisses, “You want to be roadkill?”
“I need to find Kiwi,” you whisper quickly, expression almost begging, “Please.”
He pauses, dimpled chin wavering a bit. Bucky watches him sniff, push his glasses back, and readjust his posture. Climber licks his lips and his eyes dart to Bucky. He’s thinking, Bucky realizes, and after a quick moment of deliberation, he seems to cave.
“Only because I owe you.”
“I know,” you say, raising your hands, “I know.”
In a dash, his demeanor changes once more. He’s flying over to his harem, waving his hands and blowing kisses and promising he’ll be back in a flash. They whine, they moan, but Climber appeases them with another round of jello shots from strobing syringes that a waitress is carrying by.
“Come on then,” he says, “And stop looking like such a prude.”
He begins to weave.
You follow hand returning to its spot in Bucky’s like a lifeline.
You’re sipping your drink, moving through the crowd easily. There’s a slight sway in your step now, and at one point you and Climber even get noticed by a pod of people who recognize your faces. It’s met with laughing and squealing and in the fray, the both of you slip back into the crowd. Bucky is taking it all in, desperately ignoring the tingle of a panic flaring in the back of his head.
Too many people.
Soon, though, Climber is moving towards a side entrance.
It’s a back room.
Suddenly, the dim lights and neon dissolve, and instead, Bucky is flashed in the face with the abrasive sting of fluorescent lights. It no longer reeks of spilled beer, and his boots don’t stick to the ground. No, there’s quiet chatter back here — Climber continues to lead the two of you through a maze of supply crates full of booze and soda.
Then, a right turn. And a left turn.
Someone is taking inventory.
“Kiwi, I know you’re going to hate me for this—”
The woman who turns around is beautiful. She’s in the midst of eyeing an open crate that looks just like the others but fitted with a hollowed center, marking off what looks like an inventory of burner cell phones. Her brown skin is decorated with glitter, her eyes streaked with the same green shade of her tightly shaved head. The green is bright and it reminds Bucky of summer.
Suddenly, her expression sours.
“What the fuck.”
“I know—”
“No,” she snaps, raising her hand and waving to the assistant beside her to take her tablet and make themselves scarce, “You need to get out of here.”
“I need your help,” you say finally, tone heavy.
It’s enough to make Climber sigh. Kiwi watches you, scratches her neck, and swallows.
She meets Climber’s eyes.
Then she breaks.
“Where the fuck have you been, Rabbit?” she asks, worries seeping into her eyes as she pulls you into a rough hug, “We thought you were dead.”
“No,” you shake your head, “But you know I couldn’t be around here anymore.”
“Yea,” Climber snorts, “Not good for your health, huh, love?”
“Alexei still wants your head,” Kiwi chimes in, crossing her arms, “Does he know you’re here?”
“Igor was on the door, so I’m sure he’s heard by now.”
Both of them curse.
Guilt flashes across your face as you screw your eyes shut and nod. “I know. I know, I just… I seriously need your help, Kiwi. It was worth the risk. It’s — HYDRA. I need to tap into the Alexandria Library.”
Immediately, the woman stiffens.
Her eyes flash to Bucky in the corner. He stares back.
“He waits outside.”
“You can trust him—”
“No,” she snaps, “I can’t. And I don’t. And I won’t.”
You give Bucky a pleading look. Between the two of you, a negotiation happens between your eyes. It’s a compromise, and finally, Bucky relents.
“Fine,” Bucky barks, tilting his head and giving you a tight-lipped smile, “Fine. I’ll wait out here.”
“He’s cute,” mumbles Climber as Bucky rounds the corner, long legs carrying him out of the supply room, “Boyfriend?”
“Shut up, Climber,” you mumble, waving your hand, “Just listen—”
“Who is he?” Kiwi asks, eyes still watching the doorway, “And why did you bring him along?”
You sigh, rubbing your brow. “He’s the one who’s trying to find this HYDRA agent. He knew her before.”
“So he’s HYDRA.”
“No,” you snap cooly, “He’s not.”
“So, just handsome, then?” Climber asks, hands waving, “Right. Great. Really making a case for yourself, Rabbit.”
“He’s trying to find a woman named Innessa Sidrova. She was one of the original agents who helped form the American HYDRA cell,” you explain quickly, “I’ve got the GRC breathing down my neck, and… And he’s a good person. He’s my friend. I’m trying to help him, but I can’t do it without you. Both of you.”
Kiwi hums. She sighs. “That explains why you went MIA.”
“Aside from putting Alexei behind bars?” you scoff, “Yea, the GRC played a part in it.”
The three of you are quiet for a moment.
“Fine.”
You look up at Kiwi. Her hands are on her waist.
There’s an immense wash of relief that floods over you at that moment — and from the looks of it, Kiwi can tell. You move to grab her hand, and she grabs back. Both of you smile, and the hug that follows is warm. You’ve missed her. A lot.
“Thank you, Suji.”
Then, footsteps.
That relief is traded in for an anxious backfire of fear in an instant.
It’s slow. Dress shoes on polished cement.
Then:
“Oh, bunny, bunny, bunny. Tsk, tsk.”
Climber and Kiwi’s faces upturn to the doorway and they tell you everything you need to know.
So, you decide at that moment that you won’t be the prey tonight.
You turn around and come face-to-face with a man playing devil.
Alexei Gardzov is a handsome man — a beard and piercing grey eyes. His hair is tightly cropped, and intricate tattoos decorate every inch of his skin. Some of them are new, you realize, and there’s temporary pride that bubbles up at them. They’re from prison.
You almost smile.
Behind him, three goons loom.
“I’ve been wondering when you’d come hopping back,” he croons as he enters the room with the swagger of a man who trapped his dinner, “Well worth the wait, I think.”
His cologne hangs like smog in the air. He strolls up to you, and in a flash, he’s got your hair in a vice grip.
He yanks it back, you grit your teeth.
The barrel of a gun digs into your cheek.
“Climber, Kiwi, and Rabbit,” he sing-songs, “All in one room again like it’s NYU’s 2014 hack-a-thon. Isn’t that cute?”
Kiwi speaks. “Alexei—”
“Shut up,” he snaps, gun moving to flash towards Kiwi, “And stay out of my business, Sujina.”
The gun’s muzzle is cold. He’s rough, and you try to ignore the twinge of pain that comes with his unceremonious yank of your hair. Once more, he tsks. His breath is hot on your face. He smells like cigarettes and whiskey.
“I spent seven years behind bars,” he bites, “All because a’ you.”
“Me? I wasn’t the one trafficking girls—”
“SHUT UP!”
The pistol cracks across your cheek and the cement floor hurtles towards you. The gasp that falls from your lips is from shock; your fingers dig into the cold ground as you try to blink away the blurriness. Your ears ring. Blood drips from your cheek between your fingers.
Again, there’s a hand in your hair.
Now, the fight begins.
Climber and Kiwi are stuck, frozen in fear.
You don’t blame them, because Igor and the others have guns already drawn. One of them, one that’s young and you don’t recognize immediately, has a baseball bat in his hands.
Alexei drags you by your hair as you grimace, refusing to scream. Your heels scrape against the ground as you try to get purchase, but he’s quick to throw you back against the far wall.
“Don’t worry, Bunny,” he smiles, “I won’t kill you. Not right now.”
Then, a kick.
Right to the ribs.
You can’t breathe — you gasp earnestly at the white, hot shot of pain.
“Get up.”
You’re not listening, you’re too busy trying to catch your breath.
“I said,” comes a growl as he reaches, hand in your hair again as he drags you up the wall. Your legs buckle, and you try to hold your chin high as you stumble upwards, “Get up.”
Then, there’s a hand around your throat.
Tight. Too tight. Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe. Can’t get his hand off your neck, can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t fucking think, can’t stand, can’t see, can’t breathe —
“Boss!”
A new voice.
The pressure is relieved for a second.
A new face has run into the room — he looks frazzled, hair askew and gun out. He’s eyeing the scene before him in a moment’s pause.
“Can’t you see I’m a little bit busy?” Alexei snags as you gasp, clawing at his hand. He swings his head to the figure in the doorway with an annoyed bark, “What is it?”
“The cops, boss,” he stammers, “They’re here.”
“What?”
“They’re here for her, boss.”
A slow turn to where his finger is pointing. His gaze lands on you. Alexei laughs.
“Well,” he says as the goon disappears, “Isn’t that just peachy, bunny?”
The choking starts again.
Then, a metal hand.
Vibranium.
You watch it swing, you watch it grab Alexei’s throat.
Suddenly, you can breathe.
Suddenly, Bucky Barnes enters the fight.
You make friends with the ground again as you duck, just as Alexei is rammed into the wall above your head by his throat. As you cough while Kiwi calls your name — you can hear a fight. But everything’s moving slow, and it’s not until the first gunshot that you’re kicked into action. It’s loud. Your skin pricks alive.
Someone screams.
You stumble to your feet, eyes finding Bucky’s form moving quickly between the three goons — the gunshot had come from the pistol that had somehow found its way into Bucky's flesh and blood hand. One of the men is on the floor, suit pants stained with a bullet wound through the thigh. He’s wailing. Bucky doesn’t notice. Or he doesn’t care. Maybe both.
His face is cold.
Another gunshot is fired off, this time richoting between you and Kiwi and Climber and embedding itself into the cement wall overhead. The three of you scream, ducking reflexively.
That’s when Bucky snaps.
“Now would be a good time to go!”
Kiwi’s hands are on your arm as you quickly break through the doorway through the storage room. Climber is following, checking over his shoulder at the carnage that Bucky begins to reap in the room.
He’s hysterical, trying to jog in his white platform boots. “What the fuck, Rabbit!”
Your voice is hoarse. You’re clutching your ribs. “Not now, Climber!”
“I’m parked in the back,” Kiwi says, ducking through plastic flaps as she helps you through the back of the club, “Come on, we’ll go through the trucking entrance.”
You hear Bucky call your name — he’s jogging to catch up, gun drawn in his hand. Seems like he made good work of the others, sporting nothing more than a split lip. You turn, pausing for a moment to take inventory of his well-being.
And that’s all it takes.
Alexei Gardzov, limping, steps in front of you and Kiwi and Climber at an intersection in the hallway.
There’s a gun in his hand.
The first thing you feel is the impact.
Like a truck slamming into you at full speed. For the fourth time tonight, you have the air robbed from your lungs. It’s instant confusion.
Then comes the pain. Hot. Hotter than the sun. Hot like white flames. It tears through your shoulder and all you can do is gasp; you’re sent into a stutter step — and while the world around you continues to move, you’re busy reconciling with the fact you’ve just been shot.
A bullet flies by your head.
Alexei Gardzov drops.
You’re grasping at your chest, staggering, when Bucky breaks into a sprint — but you’re okay. You’re okay, it’s just your shoulder, it’s just your arm, you’re okay, you can feel your fingers and you can breathe and the pain is nearly unbearable but you’re okay.
Then, a baseball bat.
It clocks Bucky directly in the skull. He’s clotheslined.
It’s Igor.
The gun from Bucky’s hands clatters across the ground to your feet, and you’re too busy trying to get to Bucky to realize — but, you’ve got tunnel vision and adrenaline and at that moment, you think a good sidekick doesn’t need anything else in this life.
Igor goes to swing at you, but you duck. Your stiletto crushes through the top of his shoe. He screams and in a flurry of pain and panic, you manage to snag the bat quick enough to turn and clock him under the chin with a roll of the wrist.
His teeth clack together and he falls backward, unconscious.
“God, I really wish you could have seen that, Buck.”
You spit. Blood paints the ground.
The bat clatters to the cement as you fight through the pain. Kiwi and Climber are by your side in an instant.
“No, no!” she screams, “We do not have time for this—”
“I am not leaving him,” you snap, nearly screaming at the woman, “Come on and help me with him. Now.”
After a sigh of resignation, Kiwi shoves the gun she’d snagged from the ground into the back of her jeans. You’ve got your hands around Bucky’s ankles as Kiwi and Climber take his torso — and the four of you make a break for the back entrance. You can hear the cops outside now, and there’s the chatter of Russian following you into the back parking lot.
“Hurry up!”
“He’s not exactly light as a feather, you know!”
“Shut up, Climber!”
You’ve got Bucky halfway into the back seat of Kiwi’s white Cadillac when another bullet whizzes by your head.
“Fuck.”
Kiwi hops into the driver’s seat as Climber scatters to hop the hood and throws himself into the passenger's seat. You lean, clinging to the door of the backseat as Kiwi peels out of the parking lot. It swings wide open and you curse loudly. You can see Alexei’s men watching from the back entrance, shouting in Russian — so you muster all your strength to pull back and throw the door closed as Kiwi’s car bounces over a speed bump and rams through the parking meter’s gate.
In the rear window, the front of the club is surrounded.
Red and blue lights illuminate the street — but Kiwi is quick.
No one follows.
And when she finally makes it to the Manhattan Bridge, you exhale.
Bucky’s head is in your lap. He still hasn’t come to — there’s blood coming from his nose and you’re worrying. You lace your fingers into his thick, brown hair and chew your lip.
Kiwi’s voice pulls you from him.
“When were you going to mention the vibranium arm, huh?”
You laugh. It’s more of a breath of air than anything. Your head rests back against the seat. Your shoulder is still on fire. You’re hot, but cold. You’re bleeding still. Your ribs aren’t right. You know that.
“I can’t believe he shot you,” Climber mumbles, “He fucking shot you.”
“And your boy toy shot him,” Kiwi says, sparing you a look in the rearview, “So you better pray he’s dead.”
You ignore the commentary.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere safe,” she says, accelerating into Manhattan, “Where I can get you those files and you can keep your head down.”
Sounds like a plan.
Better than the one you had, anyways.
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mypoisonedvine · 4 years
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Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 1)
summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  
word count: 2875
warnings: smut... sort of (oral f receiving), voyeurism/exhibitionism (kinda?), touch of angst, lots of pining and awkwardness, jealous bucky being jealous, alcohol use (reader gets drunk)
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Nothing annoyed you like being surrounded by stylists and being primped and prodded for hours at a time.  It made you feel claustrophobic to be touched so much: makeup artists only inches from your face, tailors watching you change, hairstylists nearly spraying you in the eye or burning you on the forehead every few minutes.
Not to mention how uncomfortable it was to actually be in the whole get-up once they were done.
But, such was the nature of a red carpet event.  This one was going to be particularly bland because it wasn't even a premiere or awards event but a launch party for a perfume campaign.  How lame is that?  It's one of those things that really only exists so that there can be pictures of it to put in a magazine, because they're always running out of good pictures of celebrities to publish.
Finally all dolled up to the point that you didn't look even very much like yourself anymore, your assistant accompanied you downstairs and into your driveway where your car was waiting; and, more importantly, its driver and your driver, Bucky.
He was a gruff sort of guy; certainly a man of few words and many brooding glares.  Sometimes you thought he didn't like you— like maybe he resented your fame or something— but then he'd turn around and be so sweet all of a sudden and you didn't know what to think.  For one, he demanded to open the door for you every time you got out of the car.  Sometimes he even extended his hand for you to grab on to, which was especially useful for red carpet events when you were usually wearing skinny heels that were impossible to balance on.
Such was the case tonight as well, and you smiled up at him as he helped you out of the car and up towards the steps of the venue.
"Thank you," you smiled at him, and he barely smiled back.
"Have a good night, madam," he suggested, a formal stuffiness to the way he addressed you.
You nodded,  "You too!"  That made you pause, though, because you weren't sure what his night would entail at all.  "Say, what is it that you do when I'm at an event like this?"
He seemed confused by your question.  "Um, I sit in the car and wait until you're ready to leave."
Guilt seared in your chest and you frowned.  "That's it?  You don't, like, go out?  Catch a movie?"
"Nope.  That would prevent me from doing my other job, which is watching the points of entry to make sure there aren't any threats to security going in."
"Right…" you trailed off.  "You could always come in, you know, grab some free drinks and stuff."
"I thought you didn't want any of your team following you around at events."
"Yeah, don't follow me around, just mingle and kill some time!"
Bucky shook his head.  "If I'm not there as your driver or as your security, then I'm not there."
You shrugged.  "Suit yourself, but please feel free to, like, get some food or whatever you wanna do while I'm in there!  Don't just wait on me!"
He smiled, but it looked a little rehearsed. "Thank you, madam."
You realized he'd been holding your hand through the entire conversation, cause you'd asked him your question midway through getting out of the car.  Awkwardly, you finally dropped his hand and waved goodbye, escorting yourself up the last few steps and into the door.
God, he must think I'm such a freak.
//
God, she must think I'm such a freak.
Bucky munched on the sandwich he'd had delivered (yes, to the car, how else was he supposed to get it?) as he dutifully watched the entrance.  Against your advice, he had every intention of just sitting around and waiting for you, but he wasn't bored; he had a Mets game on the radio to keep him company.
"— top of the third, bases loaded, DeGrom is at the plate with one swing left aaaaaand… he strikes out!"
"Shit," Bucky grumbled to himself around a mouthful of pastrami.
Glancing up, he saw someone stumbling out of the party: squinting, he realized it was you.  He looked at the clock with a furrowed brow, noticing it was a little earlier than he'd thought you'd leave, but then he saw that there was someone with you… a guy.
Bucky set his sandwich down and turned the key in the ignition as he watched you pull your phone out of your clutch— ostensibly to text him to bring the car around, but he was already ahead of you, quickly exiting the parking lot and circling the building so he could pull up at the steps.  He was about to get out to open the door for you but this random guy did it instead, before tumbling in after you.
"That tickles!" you protested with a giggle as your new friend started to kiss your neck, his hands all over you before Bucky had even gotten the car moving.
You were too drunk and distracted to notice that the partition was still open.  Of course Bucky had considered closing it, in fact he wanted more than anything to close it so he wouldn't have to see this, but some sick part of his brain needed to see it.  How else could he know if something went wrong and he had to get back there and stop it?  How else would he keep you safe?
How else would he get to find out how you sound when you're being touched like this?
He couldn't see too well with it being the middle of the night and all, but every time he drove past a streetlamp or particularly bright neon sign, the colorful glow would shine in and cast light over your neck where your head had fallen back in pleasure; or your collarbones, exposed where your dress had been pulled down; or your chest, rising quickly with the speed of your panting breaths.
Ogling you in the rearview mirror made him feel like a total creep, but it satisfied a bit of the urge he'd been feeling ever since he started driving you.  He wasn't actually a driver, at least not usually; he was more or less your bodyguard at this point, but you were really adamant about having a small detail and so that was why he was working double-duty tonight… and why he'd been doing so for almost three months now.
"Baby," you gasped, and his eyes shot right back to your reflection; you were writhing against the seat, and he could just barely see the top of the guy's head where it was buried between your legs.  You took your bottom lip between your teeth, lips curling into a relaxed smile.  His cock was not only hard but throbbing at this point, as if that was going to do him any good.  He barely ever got to look at you, and he knew he would never, ever be able to touch you— beyond holding your hand as you stepped out of the car, at least.  Whenever he did that, he imagined for a moment that he wasn't your driver at all but your date, that he would get to keep your hand as he guided you down the red carpet with him.  Not that he wanted any of the attention that you got, of course, but at the same time he did like the idea of all those photographers snapping pictures of his arm around your waist, or you looking up at him with your hand on his chest.  They'd all run stories wondering what a beautiful, successful, massively talented woman like you was doing with a guy like him, but he wouldn't find the energy to care about crap like that if he had you all to himself.  
Another whimper from you pulled him out of his daydream, reminding him to focus on the road as best he could.  He knew you would hate him if you knew that he'd thought about you like that.  Or if you knew about all those times he'd checked in on you while you slept at night and lingered a bit too long.  Or if you knew that he had rewatched that one sex scene you'd done in your last movie about a thousand times.  It always broke his heart to see you underneath some other guy (his name was either Dermot Mulroney or Dylan McDermott or possibly Dermot McDermott?) and yet it turned him on like nothing else to watch you immersed in pleasure.  Similarly, now, he couldn't stand knowing it was someone else making you moan the way he was hearing, but it was the best he was ever gonna get.
"Oh god," you sighed, "fuck, yes, yes, oh my god yes—"
His grip tightened on the steering wheel and it must have been the noise of the leather stretching that made you notice him; as if every dream and nightmare of his was coming true at once, your gaze met his in the reflection of the rearview.
He was so screwed, and he was totally going to get fired tomorrow, but he couldn't look away.  Your eyes were like dark magic the way they pulled him in, kept him locked on you as his face started to burn so hot it could cook an egg.  
Staring you down, he saw your mouth fall slack as your hands reached down to grab your date's hair and tighten into fists.  Shivers shot down his spine as he imagined the way it would feel if you pulled his hair like that.  
The longer you kept looking at him, the more a very dangerous thought danced in the back of his mind…
What if she wants me to watch?
Which, even more concerningly, started to slowly morph into another idea…
What if she wants me?
He was sure you were coming.  It wasn't obvious; you didn't say anything, didn't moan too loud, didn't scream or sob or call out any names (which made it easier to pretend it was for him) but he could tell.  Your swollen lips were parted silently as he watched your breath catch in your chest, and your hands clenched around fistfuls of hair.  What he would give for you to pull his hair like that, and come for him like that— except he wouldn't have stopped there, unlike your current companion who was already moving back up your body to kiss you hungrily.  
He'd always thought you had really pretty hands, and they looked pretty good sliding over the back of this guy's suit jacket, but he liked them best when they gently pushed him off.  "We're almost there," you mumbled as Bucky turned the car into the driveway, using his fob to open the gate.  
Once he'd come to a stop outside your door and turned off the engine, the three of you exited and stood up as you yawned and stretched.
"You'll take Jack here home, right?" you asked Bucky quickly.
"It's Jake…" the man corrected with hesitance.
"Right, Jake," you smiled, "you'll take him to his place, right?"
Bucky gave the guy a smile dripping with gloating contempt, loving the disappointed look he was wearing as he realized he wasn't going to be spending the night in your bed.  "It'd be my pleasure," he announced coldly.
"Great, thanks," you sighed.  Standing on your tiptoes to give the guy a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder, you thanked him for a great night and made your way into the house.
Jake looked around in confusion for a moment before getting back in the car along with Bucky, sighing and running his fingers through his hair.
"What address am I going to?"
"Uh, 333 15th Street, in Brooklyn," the guy replied, pausing to let out a soft but incredulous laugh as the car began to move.  "Level with me, man: does she… do this kind of thing, a lot?  You know: bring guys over, make it seem like something's gonna… happen, but then just send ‘em back home and never call again?"
With a silent glare, Bucky rolled up the partition.
//
You heard the front door, even from your current location of the shower upstairs, and knew Bucky was home— okay, not exactly ‘home’ since he didn't leave here full-time, but home in the sense that he was in your home and in the place he would be staying tonight.  You just hoped he'd actually stopped the car before kicking Jake out; he never cared much for when you had guys over or really just interacted with guys at all, because of the "security risks" or whatever.
Next, you heard him coming up the stairs and passing by your door.  "Hey, Bucky, you out there?" you called to him.
"Yeah, what is it?" he answered through the door. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I just—" you stopped when you heard the crinkling of paper.  "What is that?  Do you have food?"
"Um, yeah," he answered.
Your stomach growled; the event had only had tiny hors d'oeuvres, and the alcohol in your system enhanced your desire for a midnight snack.  "What kinda food?"
"It's a sandwich— well, what's left of one: I was eating it while I waited for you."
"Are you gonna finish it?" you asked curiously.
"No, I was thinking I'd put it in the fridge for tomorrow."
You paused a bit before asking, "Can I have it?"
"Yeah, sure, you can get it in the morning—" he began.
"No, now!" you clarified.
There was a pause before he responded.  "Right now?  In the shower?"
"Yeah, just bring it in here!"
"I-I'll let you finish showering first—" he stammered.
"No, Bucky," you whined, "just come in here!  I'm hungry!"
Another pause before he finally opened the door, his blurry figure visible through the steam-covered frosted glass. 
"What's on it?" you asked as you washed the last of your shampoo out of your hair.
"It's pastrami on rye with jalapeños, fresh mozzarella, pesto and some sort of spicy aioli or something."
"Ooh, come to mama," you purred as you reached over the top of the door with opening-and-closing grabby hands, squeeing with glee when he placed the wax paper package in your grasp.
"Okay, enjoy your drunken shower sandwich," he congratulated grimly, about to turn and leave.
"No, wait, where'd you get this?" you asked as you leaned out of the stream of hot water to unwrap your bounty.
"Uh, you know the deli on 8th and Columbus?"
"You went all the way out there?"
"No, I had it delivered."
You snorted with laughter.  "Couldn't leave me alone for even a minute, huh?"
"Well, I fully intended on leaving you alone for this shower."
But you didn't really notice that comment because you'd just taken a bite and couldn't stop yourself from moaning loudly around it.  "Oh my god, Bucky, this is so good!"
He cleared his throat.  "Uh, glad you like it."
"You have good taste in sandwiches!"
"I think the word for 'taste in sandwiches' is just 'taste,’” he pointed out, his smirk audible in his voice.
"Can we go to this place tomorrow and you can order for me?"
"We can do whatever you want tomorrow," he relented.
"If you drive, I'll pay,” you offered.
"I always drive.  And you always pay,” he pointed out.
You frowned, not visible to him through the steamy glass.  "I do?"
"You pay my salary, so, yeah…"
You laughed, a little too hard. "You're so smart!"
"Sure,” he replied quickly.
“Okay, I’m almost done in here,” you informed him.
“With the sandwich or the shower?” 
You laughed with a little snort, which would’ve embarrassed sober you.  “Both!”
“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then,” he replied, starting to go back out the door.
“See you tomorrow, Bucky,” you waved even though he couldn’t see it.
“I don’t know that I will,” he admitted, “you’ll probably be hungover and lock yourself in your room all day.”
“Hmm, possibly,” you agreed as you pondered that.  “Then I guess just ‘goodnight,’ and I’ll see you when I see you.”
“Goodnight,” he replied and stepped out of the bathroom— you could hear him go downstairs and shut the door to his room, and you glanced down at the last bite of your/his sandwich with a smile.
You must have gotten in bed at some point, cause that was the last thing you could really remember before you woke up a bit before noon, bright orange sunlight shining directly on your face where it rested on the pillow.  You groaned and turned over, feeling like your brain was too big for your skull.  You sat up when you saw a menagerie of unfamiliar items on your nightstand.  A bottle of pedialyte, a bottle of Fiji water, a few aspirin, an orange and a banana waited for you in a pile, with a little piece of paper sitting in front which you read.
Hope you’re feeling alright, these might help in the meantime.  -B
You smiled, twisting open the Fiji and taking a sip.  Bucky always took such good care of you, even in ways he didn’t need to.  What would you do without him?
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reidyoulikeabook · 3 years
Note
the battery was dead
Ship: GN! Reader x Spencer Reid
Warnings: Mention of case-typical violence (more specifically, a bomb), told from Spencer's perspective and he experiences anxiety about reader having been harmed (they're okay though!), Spencer's self-deprecating thoughts, general mood of anxiety throughout, stressful team situation, big feelings of guilt, very much hurt/comfort.
Word count: 1.6k (i did not intend for this to be this long but it's basically a whole thing)
A/N: This is not what I intended to write today but my brain's on a whole hurt/comfort vibe apparently so here we are: something I wrote all in one go in about half an hour. Oops.
Everybody was in different places when the bomb went off. Spencer was with Derek, in an SUV headed uptown. The explosion was downtown. Where you'd been headed. Alone.
The geographical profile had indicated he wouldn't strike downtown. The geographical profile that he had made. The geographical profile that the team had trusted, that the team had based their assignments off, that had led Hotch to conclude it was safe to send you downtown alone.
"Garcia," Derek answers, putting her on loudspeaker and glancing at Spencer who could be pictured and pasted into the DSM-V as the definition of anxiety right now, "Garcia tell me you can patch everybody through."
"I'm trying," She rambles, her voice pitching upwards, "I'm patching ___ through now I'm trying their cell."
Spencer's leg bounces. It bounces so hard it's a miracle the velocity of it doesn't send Derek veering right across the road. He scratches at his neck. There are no words to be said. No words in any language in the world can describe the fear coursing through his body as he hears Garcia scramble, pressing keys and typing and he's only vaguely aware of Derek's hand coming to rest reassuringly on his bouncing knee, managing to still it just a little bit.
"___ will be fine," He reassures him, "Just fine. I promise. It's not your fault kid, you couldn't have known, how would you have known?"
"It's my job to know."
His tone is bitter, angry, and he feels even worse for it because it's not Derek's fault. Derek is trying to help. Derek is trying to be kind and somehow that's worse because he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anybody's kindness right now and he can't get your face out of his mind. How you'd smiled at him before walking out of the door of that precinct and how it might be the last time he ever got to see you smile and it was all his fault. All his fault.
His stomach is in knots. Garcia's practically smacking her precious equipment in her hurry and then the line goes mute.
"Garcia?" Derek asks again, "Garcia are you still there?"
There's a beat of silence and then the background noise returns, "I'm just trying ____'s cell."
What's taking so long? She could have tried by now. He's never known Garcia to be slow at her job and even though it feels like time has stopped. Fractured like a mirror, throwing off pieces, and he's trapped inside a piece that has all of the horror and guilt he's ever felt in his life staring him in the face. But she can work faster than that. Why isn't she working faster than that?
It all becomes clear as he hears her clack again. Then your voice floods the line.
"You've reached SSA ____ ____ of the Behavioural Analysis Unit. Please leave a voicemail, or if you're calling regarding an urgent matter then please direct your calls to SSA Aaron Hotcher at the following number-"
"Maybe she's already on the phone," Derek suggests, cutting over your recital of his number, "Maybe her line's already busy. Right Garcia, is her line already busy?"
"I can't tell."
She's lying. Spencer knows she's lying and it knocks him sick. He practically wrenches the handle to the window off in his quest to get it open. The cold air pours in and he feels worse. He can't allow himself to bask in any feeling of comfort when you're God knows where.
He can't let himself think like that. He blinks hard, shaking his head as if he can physically remove the images from his brain. They flash through, his neurons defying him as they keep picturing you in worse and worse scenarios, and he can't breathe.
"Pull over," He directs Derek, wrenching off his seatbelt before Derek even manages to get the car in park.
Somewhere amidst all of it, Hotch has been patched through.
"We're convening downtown. Our presence has been requested at the crime scene."
Derek is saying something to pacify him. Or he's telling him something. He can't tell because his head is swimming and then Derek is squeezing his shoulder, physically pulling him back into reality.
"Kid. Listen to me. You're not helping anybody getting yourself all worked up like this. We need to focus. We've got to work this through."
He nods. He nods because Derek is right. They do have to work this through. Even though they would be better working this through without him because he's the one who made the profile that was wrong and his contributions clearly can't be trusted and-
"Put your seatbelt on. Talk to me. Let's talk through how it could have gone wrong."
Derek's voice strikes just the right balance between commanding and reassuring. It always does. So he does it. He clips in the seatbelt and starts to ramble, discussing avenues they haven't explored before, suggesting why he could have been wrong. He's never doubted himself like this before, and it's an uncomfortable feeling. What's more uncomfortable is the realisation he's never failed you like this before.
They pull up to the crime scene. Derek scrambles out of the car, but he pauses for a beat. It's only when Emily opens the door, that he's pulled back into reality again.
"Spencer," She says, "Spencer, come on."
There are SUV'S everywhere. They've tried to contain the scene as much as they could but they needed the bomb squad, needed paramedics, needed FBI.
She's walking him somewhere and he's frantically searching around him, frantically trying to orient himself. It doesn't help that it's dark, gone midnight by now, and the street lights were taken out in the initial explosion. Most of the lights come from torches, or headlamps that people are wearing. It's not enough, he can barely make out Emily let alone find your face in the crowd.
And then he hears it. His name. Your voice.
You found him.
"Spencer," You call, and he can't possibly turn around fast enough.
He barely has before you come crashing into his arms, cinching them tightly around him. He practically scoops you off of the ground, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close as he can possibly get you to his body, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo and there's tears coming out of his eyes, tears of relief and fear and-
"Spencer," You tell him, sniffling, "Spencer you're kind of crushing me."
You let out a little laugh, and he lets out one too. But it's puffy, practically just air. He releases his grip a bit and you lean up, your arms looping around his neck and playing with the baby hairs situated at the nape of it.
"Spence I'm okay, I'm right here," You reassure him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "I'm right here."
You are right here. He can hear the pound of your heart, he can smell your perfume, he can feel you playing with his hair in a way that tickles but is so comforting, so domestic, so reassuring that you still love him despite his fuck up, that he couldn't bring himself to tell you to stop even if he wanted you to.
He doesn't even know he's still crying until he speaks, his voice wavering as it manoveurs past the lump in his throat, "I-Garcia tried calling you. You didn't answer your phone."
"The battery was dead," You tell him, "I plugged it in in the car and next thing I know I'm getting pulled over. I got brought straight here when I told them I was FBI and I tried to borrow somebody's phone to call but they cut off cell reception here in case there was a second bomb."
He swallows. He can't say anything else, can't do anything else. He manages to open his eyes, and you lean up, apparaising him. You thumb at the tears on his cheeks, a kind of softness and love entirely exclusive to you filling your eyes along with a couple of tears. You don't look at him like you're angry. You don't look at him like you're disappointed. You look at him with a kindness he's entirely undeserving of at this moment in time and the thought spurs two more tears out of his eyes.
"What's wrong?" You ask, your voice barely above a whisper, "Spence what's wrong?"
"It was my fault," He chokes, his head dipping a bit, too ashamed to make eye contact, "I made the profile. I was wrong. I sent you here, I-I sent you directly into danger."
"It was a copycat," You tell him, "It was a copycat, he didn't get away in time and got caught up in the blast. Our guy is smarter than that, so they think this guy tried to imitate it. It's not your fault. You couldn't possibly have known, you can't profile a person you don't know exists."
The revelation is like foam on a petrol fire. It quells the pain in his chest, the one that had maliciously licked at him, igniting all his own wounds and insecurities.
It wasn't his fault.
He holds onto you even tighter, burying his face in the crook of your neck, "Thank you. Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being okay."
"I'm always okay," You tell him, your voice nothing but sincere, "I'm always okay because I always have you."
With that, the fire is out. You reluctantly wiggle out of his arms, taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. He's not okay yet. Not entirely. It all still feels surreal, and he knows it'll take a long time for his heart to settle down. But you're here. By his side. And that's enough for now.
In fact, with you? That's enough for always.
-
Permanent Spencer tagslist:
@ssa-m-187 @reidingmelodies @cyanide-mustard @shesalatesh
@sapphic-prentiss @geostarr @kathrynisadogperson @rem-ariiana @spoonielivingfree @starsandshit90 @spencerreidat3am @takeyourleap-of-faith @calm-and-doctor @averyhotchner @muffin-cup @purplewaterbottles082 @reidsnose @wheelsup @ellesgreenaway @sunlitspence @spencerreid9 @drspencerreidd @reiding-recs @bauemily @cmily @retrxbarnes @jhillio @txmhoelland @spenxerslut @amoeebaa @veridianluv @sad-bitch-h0ur @reidtome @converse-spence @randomfavtingswall @bethc54 @sebstan-is-the-man @justanothercrazyfangirl @eli-side-blog @vntgreid @reidmeastory @reidemandweep @ggublerss @s1lverhand @cigarette-day-dread @newtmyheart @i-understood-that-reference @willowrose99 @v-is-obsessive @awesomebooklover17 @youarethereasonimsmiling @xhopingthis-worksx @agentdilf @spencerreidsconverse @nomajdetective @brown-eyedshell @randomficsandshit @bvttercupbby @thatsonezesty13 @spookydrreid @kurtuinna @loverboyspence @jswessie187 @sammicabrera @idontwantyourcookiesthanks @sweetandsunny @reidstulips @midnightstan @stylesstreet @iamhowieson @reichelhache @screennamealreadyused @joyclubie @mrs-dr-reid @measure-in-pain @slaytherinthoughts @inlovewprentiss @citlalireedus @love-you-to-saturn @drayshadow @makailaa @idonotexiste @hercleverboy @disasterwriter @kuolonsyoja @thosecriminalminds @sun-flower-seed @singularityjc @adanae91 @uwu-queen-420 @broken-stardust
Link to join tagslist!
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fallout4reactsblog · 3 years
Note
could probably use some lighter courser ask storm prompts after all those whumpy angsty sounding ones, hmm. companions react to sole builds a raider cage but decides to see what happens if they bait it with fancylads, discovering later that it consistently traps coursers. each companion's personal part has them open it to find a different random courser inside, including named ones like x6, z2, & chase (who has some explaining to do). the jarring ooc surreality of the situation is amusing.
Ada: “You seem to be stuck.”
The courser inside glanced up at the sound of her voice, box of snack cakes in hand, and slowly nodded. “I didn’t realize it was trapped.”
“Usually this is baited with chems in order to trap raiders,” she said, beginning to fiddle with the release mechanism. “I am unsure why it is baited with cakes this time, but I’m sure it’s just a mistake. Don’t worry, you’ll be out shortly.”
“Thanks,” they said, slowly getting to their feet.
“Here, another box for your troubles,” she said, pulling one out of her bag. “Though I don’t believe I caught your name.”
They took it with a nod. “I’m X4-18. Nice to meet you.”
“I am Ada. My apologies for the inconvenience.”
“No problem,” X4 said. “Thanks for getting me out.”
In a flash of light, they were gone.
Cait: A rattle from inside the raider cage gave her pause on her way back home. She almost didn’t stop, the raider cage was sole’s problem after all, but what the hell. She was a little on edge today, and maybe beating the shit out of some unsuspecting soul would do the trick.
“Hi there!” A voice said from inside.
That gave her pause, but she went on fiddling with the lock. These things were usually baited with drugs after all. Wouldn’t be the first cheerful raider to come out.
The door swung open to reveal a blond courser, grinning ear to ear.
“I seem to have found myself in a bit of a predicament,” he said, sticking out a hand. “X7-22, nice to meet you. Don’t suppose you’re willing to help me out?”
A courser? Hell no. Slowly, she shook her head and started closing the door again.
“Hey! Wait a second, I’m sure we can come to some kind of agreement.” He shifted to stay visible through the gap in the slowly closing door. “There’s gotta be something I can offer you. Money? Supplies? Anything? Come on, talk to me-”
With a click, the lock re-engaged. She dusted off her hands.
Coursers in the raider trap. Now that was a problem for sole.
Codsworth: “Oh, dear.”
He slowly hovered around the cage. The courser watched him with wary, predatory eyes. Codsworth made a noise akin to a sigh.
“They never learn.”
The courser opened their mouth to protest, but he waved his saw arm through the air, cutting them off. “Sole simply refuses to listen! I told them nothing good would come of this, and now look where we are. A courser is stuck in the raider cage. No good!”
He poked at the lock, still griping. “The raiders I could understand. No-good hooligans need to be disposed of. But this is madness. What is there to gain?”
The courser had shrunk back into the cage, presumably having realized that this lock was not built to be opened by a Mr. Handy, and they were going to be stuck listening to what he had to say for a while.
At least there was snacks.
Curie: “Pardon me.”
An unfamiliar voice made Curie jump, and she spun to see a man with slicked-back brown hair staring at her from the raider cage. She stiffened and turned back around.
“Ah, c’mon,” he said. “Don’t ignore me. I’m harmless.”
“I have no interest in speaking to such an unsavory character as yourself.”
“Not even a little sympathy for a fellow synth?”
She glanced back behind her, eyeing the man in the cage. He gave her a slick smile.
“What is your name?” she asked.
“Z2-47″
She frowned a little, gears turning. So he was a synth, and a courser at that. And by all accounts, she was a synth that needed to be brought back to the Institute.
...Hadn’t sole said something about needing to kill a courser?
She took one last look at him, still looking every bit like the cat that ate the canary, and put on her best smile. “Oh, but of course I will help you. I simply must find the person with the key. If you will wait but a moment, I will bring them.”
Not waiting for a reply, she went off in search for sole.
Danse: The trap’s mechanism was very simple. The cage was built so that you had to step inside to get the bait, then the weight triggered the door to close and lock behind you. Sole had built it to trap raiders in, usually baiting it with chems, though he couldn’t say how many times they’d sent him to go get Hancock out of there. That ghoul never learned.
Today, though, it was him eyeing the cage from across the street. Yesterday, he’d seen sole baiting it with no less than three full boxes of Fancylads Snack Cakes they’d pulled out of an old vault. That meant they were in pristine condition, untouched by the taste of radiation. He’d been too shy to ask them for one of the boxes, and now seemed to be his chance. He just had to get them out of there.
Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he approached the trap, bracing one foot against the small step up into the cage and curling his right hand around the doorframe. If he leaned in, he should be able to...
Evidently, lose his balance and fall in.
With an unceremonious crash, he toppled to the floor, door slamming shut behind him. For a brief moment, he stared around at his surroundings, truly confused on how this had happened.
At least he hadn’t landed on the snack cakes. Might as well make the best of a bad situation, right?
Deacon: “Well this is awkward.”
Chase glared up at his mischievous grin as he asked, “So, how’s the weather in there?”
“Exactly the same as it is out there. Let me out.”
“C’mon, Chase. At least finish the snack cakes. That’s what you’re in there for, after all. Don’t tell me you ate them already.”
She glared at him in lieu of a response, and he fake gasped. “Chase, there was, like, three boxes in there!”
“Coursers burn calories very quickly.”
“Probably all that running and shooting and all.” He sighed and started to fiddle with the lock. “Well, no sense in leaving you in there. You’ve got work to do after all.”
“This stays between us. Understand?”
He laughed and said, “Sure. Between you, me, Glory, Dez, whoever they tell...”
“Oh, you’re impossible.”
Gage: The satisfaction he got from seeing a locked raider cage was like nothing else. Commonwealth raiders were stupid bastards, and if they were dumb enough to go into a very clear trap, well, they were dumb enough to die.
He chambered a round in his rifle as he swung open the door.
An Institute courser snarled and swiped at him with a very large, mean-looking knife. He narrowly dodged, shifting to dodge her second strike, and slammed the door in her face. An unholy screech of metal on metal echoed down the street, and he winced.
“Damn,” he muttered. “Coursers these days.”
The whole cage shuddered as the synth inside slammed herself against the door, shouting obscenities. He took a step back, debating whether or not he was willing to open it up again. On the one hand, there was a synth that needed killing. On the other, well, he still had one eye left, and he was keen to not lose it to a very pissed-off courser.
“Overboss!” he shouted up the street. “There’s some kind of feral thing in your cage.”
“What? Hold on, let me come look, just give me a second...”
A second was never just a second with the Overboss. He sighed and resigned himself to a very long wait.
Hancock: "Well, hey there.”
“Oh! Monsieur Hancock. What wonderful timing!”
Curie grinned up at him with a smile to light rooms, and he almost shielded his eyes against the brightness. Geez, this girl was bubbly.
“Whatcha doin’ in there, Curie? I don’t take you for the raider type, and last I checked chems weren’t your style. Mine, yes. Yours, no.”
“It is a funny story, really,” she chuckled. “I saw this box of snack cakes inside. They are in pristine condition, and one of my few vices, so for a moment I simply was blind to the fact that-”
“Snack cakes?” Sure enough, there was a mint condition box in Curie’s hand. “Holy shit, share.”
In a flash, he ripped open the door and launched himself at the second box of snack cakes. And damn, were they good. Untainted by the taste of radiation, they were perfectly balanced between sweet and sour, sponge still moist, coating still soft. Heaven in a crinkly plastic wrapper.
“Um, Hancock? Is it not rather cramped for the both of us?”
Oh, yeah. He’d landed right on top of poor, unsuspecting Curie. “My bad. I got excited.”
“Oh, no, that I do not so much mind. I simply wonder how we are going to get out now.”
Shit.
MacCready: “The way I see it, this stands to become a mutually beneficial exchange.”
Ol’ Z2 looked disgruntled, but asked, “How so do you mean?”
“I mean we could both gain something from this. I let you out of there, and you offer me something in exchange. Sounds fair, right?”
“Maybe.”
He rocked back on his heels. “So, what do you have to offer?”
Z2 frowned and dug around in a pocket. “I have some fusion cells.”
MacCready rolled his eyes. “No good. Sole’s got tons, and I don’t use a laser weapon.”
“I have a few bottlecaps.”
He squinted into the cage. “What, like, ten? Yeah, no. Not gonna cut it.”
“Well, then I’m afraid this won’t work out. Coursers travel light.”
MacCready tutted, tapping a finger against his chin. “I don’t know, that coat of yours looks pretty snazzy. Bet it’s well-armored, too, huh?”
Z2 looked almost offended. “Are you suggesting that I hand you my coat?”
“The way I see it, you don’t have much of a choice. You can hand me the coat and get out of there, or wait for a less sympathetic person to come along and shoot you like fish in a barrel. Your call.”
It took only a moment’s hesitation before Z2 agreed.
Nick: "...Danse?”
Former Paladin Danse’s head shot up, and for the first time probably ever, he actually looked happy to see him. “Nick?”
“What on Earth are you doing in the raider cage?” He cut him a sideways glare. “Don’t tell me you picked up a chem habit.”
Danse looked appropriately embarrassed, and held up a box of snack cakes. “No. These were the bait this time, and I rather foolishly thought I could retrieve them from the trap unharmed.”
“Isn’t the whole point of the trap that you can’t get them out without falling in?”
“Of course, and I knew that. I simply allowed my pride to get the better of me. I should have left them alone, but couldn’t resist the temptation.”
Nick just shook his head. “Well, at least you can admit it.”
“Would you mind letting me out? It has been a significant amount of time.”
“Yeah, fine.” He set about picking the lock. “I assume you’d rather keep this between us.”
“If that’s an option.”
“I guess. Wouldn’t want someone spreading it around if it was me.”
“I appreciate that.”
Old Longfellow: There was a long moment of silence. He stared into the raider cage. Reinhart stared back, still slowly chewing on a snack cake. The eye contact seemed to last forever as Longfellow tried to figure out what the actual hell Reinhart was doing.
“Did you need something?” Longfellow finally asked.
“Did you?”
“I’d like to know what you’re doin’ in there.”
“I’d like to get out of here.”
Longfellow folded his arms. “You answer me, and I’ll let you out.”
“I wanted the snack cakes,” Reinhart replied, sliding an open box across the floor. “Here. There’s still a few in there, if you want.”
“I’ll pass, you keep ‘em.”
Reinhart slowly slid the box back toward himself. There was silence again.
“So are you going to let me out, or...?”
“Right, right. Yeah. I guess I’ll go find sole, they probably have the key...”
Piper: Piper Wright looked and felt every bit like the cat that caught the canary.
“Well, well, well, look at what we have here.”
“Miss Wright-”
“For the first time, we have a courser who has embarrassed himself in media res. Incredible!”
“Piper, please-”
“X6, can I get a quote? What do you have to tell the people?”
She held out a fake microphone, which was actually a rolled up copy of the Publick. He just sighed and said, “Could you please let me out?”
“Not a chance!” she laughed. “At least, not until you tell me how you got stuck in there. I mean, c’mon X6, a raider cage? You’ve gotta be smarter than that.”
He visibly deflated. “Unfortunately, Fancylads Snack Cakes are a common vice among generation three synths.”
Piper practically crowed with delight. “Snack cakes! You’re in there for snack cakes!”
“Yes, if you could just-”
“Sole!” she shouted up the street. “You gotta come see this!”
X6 resigned himself to the fact that he’d never live this down.
Preston: The person in the raider cage was not a raider.
She glared at him through the bars. He could only stare back in shock.
“You’re a courser,” he finally managed.
“No shit.”
“How... how did you get in there?”
She hesitated just a moment before replying, “Snack cakes.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, “Dammit, sole. Everyone told you this was a bad idea, but you did it anyway?” To the courser, he said, “I’m sorry about this. We’ll get you out of there, promise.”
“Thanks,” the courser replied, then added, “I’m X9-96.”
“Preston Garvey, Commonwealth Minutemen. Nice to meet you X9. I’m no good with locks, so I’ll need to go get the key. Will you be okay in there until I get back?”
She shrugged. “So long as no more rifle-toting raiders come by, yeah. No promises I won’t kill him if he comes back though.”
So Gage had been by. Just great. Under his breath, Preston muttered, “Be my guest.”
204 notes · View notes
amjustagirl · 3 years
Text
Hogwarts AU (Haikyuu!!)
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Previously: Miya Atsumu. Miya Osamu. Kita Shinsuke. Kuroo Tetsuro. Tsukkishima Kei.  Bokuto Koutaro
Masterlist link
Wordcount: 2.5k
Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff
Genre / Pairings: Fluff, Hogwarts AU, Sakusa / Reader
Summary: You’re invited to Kiyoko’s seventeenth birthday party, which turns out to be a ball for the glittering elite of the magical world, where you meet one very surly, very sulky Sakusa Kiyoomi.
A/N: Comments as always, are much welcomed. Feel free to shout at me anytime!
Requests closed for the time being!
Though if you toss a suggestion my way that I like, I may...reconsider ;)
Requested by Yeon baobei @moondaius​ I hope you like it, darling <3
-------------------------------------------
You feel out of place in this party filled with the glittering elite of magical society. Your sleeves do not quite reach down to your wrists, and the ruffles on the neckline of your dress robes are a little limp, but you’ve had to make do with the rejected pile of clothes from your more affluent cousins. It’s not often you get invited to formal dinner parties anyway. Your home is a tiny attic flat on the cross junction between Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, and your mother is just a humble cleaning lady, so this soiree is just an exception - your classmate Kiyoko being exceptionally kind and inviting you to her seventeenth birthday party. 
“Look! Isn’t that Sakusa Kiyoomi? Isn’t he handsome?” You can hear the girls around you sigh dreamily to their friends as said boy enters the ballroom with his cousin Komori in tow. 
The Ravenclaw seeker elicits this sort of reaction even in school - or especially in school, but you’ve never joined his legion of fans, his overall grumpiness acting as a deterrent to you ever speaking to him despite sharing multiple classes together. Still, he is handsome, you admit to yourself. Towering over most of the party guests, Sakusa Kiyoomi has artfully tousled black curls, cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass and the most adorable pair of moles above his right eyebrow. 
“Komori!” You wave, grinning with affection as the affable Ravenclaw keeper bounds over towards you like an overgrown puppy. 
“It’s so nice to see you here!” He greets you with his usual cheer. “These parties can be a drag if you don’t know anyone.”
“It is a little overwhelming”, you admit, side-eyeing the chandeliers hanging from the arched ceiling, dripping in crystals and wrought with gold. You’re sure that if you managed to sneak just one chandelier in your pocket, it’d be enough to feed you and your mother for an entire year. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you have fun tonight!” Komori promises with a chuckle. Then he snaps his head back, realising he’s left his cousin stranded in a crowd of fawning women - a fate that Sakusa Kiyoomi obviously deems worse than death judging from the way he glowers down at his shoes as if they’ve offended him in some way. 
“You better rescue him”, you add, internally amused as Yuna-san from Slytherin slides her talons up Sakusa’s arms. “Five minutes in, and he already seems like a damsel in distress.”
Komori answers you with a lopsided grin as he swims through the crowd to reach his cousin drowning in his worst nightmare. You snort to yourself, helping yourself to a generous amount of punch, watching as Komori manages to extract Sakusa while charming the ladies into not sulking too much at the loss of their prey. Sakusa promptly disappears once he’s free from the quicksand of social interaction, while Komori himself gets claimed for the first dance of the night. 
You have fun too - well, somewhat. You stand along the sides of the ballroom like an overgrown wallflower, watching as your peers in brightly coloured dresses get asked for dances while you’re passed over with a glance at your ill-fitting dress. But Komori does swing by and dances a foxtrot with you - both of you trip over the other at one point, causing a small commotion in the corner of the ballroom, but it’s all in good fun. Even Kiyoko takes the time to pop by and say hi, even though she’s swamped with well-wishers and familial obligations.  
You don’t regret coming to the party at all. 
“Omi, be social for once.” It’s only because your ears are sharp that you overhear Komori urge his cousin out from his hiding spot behind the dessert table. “You’ve been hiding from everyone the entire night, and you haven’t even danced once!” 
“I don’t like people.” Sakusa grounds out through clenched teeth. “And I don’t dance”. 
“Don’t be a grump. There are perfectly nice people here - look, I have a friend here who’d be perfect for a dance”. 
You look up, meeting his eyes as he grins apologetically at you. You’re about to mouth ‘hell no’ at the irrepressible Komori, but Sakusa beats you to it in his characteristically blunt fashion. 
“She’s tolerable enough I suppose, but I’m not inclined to be a knight in shining armour and dance with someone just because no one else will”. 
Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline. 
Komori looks like he’s about to push Sakusa into the birthday cake, but thinks the better of it. “Omi”, he hisses in warning. 
Sakusa glances up, guilt flooding his eyes when he meets your gaze, but you don’t give him a chance to redeem himself, flouncing away in a swirl of faded satin. You brazenly seek out dance partners for yourself - Kuroo from Slytherin might seem smarmy, but he smirks at you in recognition and twirls you around in a merry square dance and Akaashi from Ravenclaw looks like he’d much rather bury his nose in a book but he’s gentlemanly enough to let you take his hand for a stately waltz. 
You’re in the middle of another waltz, this time with sunny Bokuto from Hufflepuff when you spot Sakusa squirming from the corner of your eye. Yuna (Slytherin, seventh year, pureblooded of course) has him cornered, back against the wall, and there’s no Komori in sight to save him – nor anyone really, almost everyone else is enjoying themselves on the dance floor. 
You sigh inwardly. Sakusa might be cold and cranky but even he deserves to be rescued from Yuna’s clutches, so you maneuver Bokuto towards in their direction. Bokuto, to his credit, catches on immediately, and with a spark of mischief in his eyes, he grabs a glass of punch and tips it over both Sakusa and Yuna. 
“You idiot!?!” Yuna shrieks, horrified as the bright red liquid stains the front of her robes. “These robes were specially tailored for me in Paris you know?”
You didn’t know that, and frankly – you couldn’t care less about the cost of her fancy robes, and with a murmured – I’ll help Sakusa clean up, you grab said boy by his sleeve and manhandle him out of the ballroom. Thankfully she’s so distracted that she doesn’t pick up on the fact that you’re both seventh years now, so there’s really no need for you to rush to the washroom since it’s completely legal for you to be using magic to clean Sakusa up. You leave Bokuto in your wake to deal with an irate Yuna, but he’s grinning nonetheless, telling her that his cleaning charms are awesome, does she want him to try fixing her dress? Akaashi and Kuroo join the commotion, and in the diversion they cause, no one notices your escape.
You tug him down a deserted hallway, relinquishing your grip on him only when you find an appropriate hiding place – an open air balcony, where no one is likely to stumble on you. ‘Turgeo’, you whisper, whipping out your wand, nodding in satisfaction as the charm siphons punch off Sakusa’s robes. 
“You can catch your breath here for a bit”, you tell him, hopping up to take a precarious seat on the balcony railing. His brows pinch together, and you watch, bemused as he tries to make sense of what just transpired.
“Tha-“ 
Taking pity on him, you interrupt him. “You don’t have to thank me. I came to your rescue cos you’re tolerable, even though you’re always grumpy. Plus, I’m a Gryffindor, so being a knight in shining armour comes naturally to me”. 
Your amusement grows as he splutters at having his ill mannered words quoted back at him, embarrassment burning into his cheeks. It’s fun to throw calm, collected Sakusa Kiyoomi off balance sometimes, you think – and perhaps given his privileged, pureblood background, he probably needs it every once in a while. But then you’re surprised when he gathers himself and inclines his head ever so slightly. 
“That was…inexcusable of me to speak of you that way. I apologise.” 
 “It’s fine”, you reply easily, but he doesn’t allow you to shrug his apology off. 
“It’s not. I was rude and unkind.” 
This is the most you’ve ever heard Sakusa Kiyoomi say, and you want to capitalise on it. 
“I know how you can remedy that”, you interject with a smile. 
He quirks his eyebrows in confusion, watching you warily. You’re tempted to drag out the suspense to watch him squirm, but you don’t want to torture the poor boy any further. 
“You can pay me back by giving me the dance you so cruelly refused me”, you tell him, jumping down onto your feet. Then with the most unladylike laugh, you sweep into an exaggerated bow, holding your hand out to him - 
“My good sir, if you please?” 
He stares down at your proffered hand. “Here? Now?” 
“You have another time in mind?” You ask sarcastically, back still bent in a bow. “Come on, your mother probably brought you up better than this, don’t keep a girl waiting forever.”
“Fine, fine”, he mumbles. So as the string orchestra in the ballroom strikes up another tune yet again, he takes your hand, and wrapping his arm around your waist, he leads you in a waltz. 
Step step twirl. 
One two three. 
Step step twirl. 
He’s the ideal dance partner, expertly steering you through the one-two-three of the melody, never once making a misstep – though he does wince when you tread on his toes once too many times. 
“You’re surprisingly good at dancing, for a misanthrope”, you comment.
“My mother made me learn”, he replies, ignoring the hidden barb in your remark. “It’s a waste of time, but I guess now that I keep getting invites for balls, it’s useful knowledge so I don’t make a fool of myself when I get forced to dance.”
“Like now?” You chuckle self-deprecatingly. 
He doesn’t reply for a few beats and you assume the conversation is over when he replies – 
“Not like now. It - this is nice.” 
It’s summer, and while the cool night still nips at your skin, warmth inexplicably suffuses your cheeks. You thought you were just having a laugh, it’s only now that you realise that the situation you’ve put yourself in with Sakusa is practically lifted out of a fairytale – a boy and a girl, hiding in a balcony, waltzing under the stars? The only thing missing is maybe a shooting star falling from the skies, or a lost glass slipper or two. 
Your train of thought is interrupted when the song ends, and he surprises you yet again when he does not drop your hand. 
“Would my lady wish to dance with me again”, he asks, though there’s a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes that belies his formal tone. 
You ignore every fiber of your being screaming at you that dancing with him again is going to be terrible for your heart, dropping into a low curtsy. 
“Why, I thought you’d never ask”, you simper in a poor imitation of Yuna and her toadies, and he only snorts, sweeping you into his arms, intent on dancing the night away. 
----------------------------------------------
“The two of you have been gone the entire night”, Komori comments, a faint accusatory tone colouring his words. “I was about to organise a search party.”
“I was just helping Sakusa clean up after a mishap with a glass of punch”, you reply, though your lie is punctured by the wince you give when your shoes pinch your feet – a sign that you’ve danced far, far too much on this magical night. 
“Is that so?” Komori directs his question to his stoic cousin. 
Sakusa doesn’t even bother to reply, palm warm against the small of your back as he ushers you off to his flying carriage, intent on sending you safely home. 
Your mother’s jaw drops when she wakes up to Sakusa’s carriage thunder down your street, a fleet of winged white horses dragging an enchanted golden carriage. You feel like Cinderella as he escorts you to the front door, pressing a courtly kiss to the back of your hand when he wishes you goodnight. That is, if Cinderella snagged her Prince Charming on the first night they met -  by accident, no less. 
Your jaw drops when you wake up the next morning to a delivery from an imperial looking snow owl, and when you tear open the parcel, your hands shake so much you have to sit down. That ridiculous boy sent you dress robes of pearl white tulle, along with an invitation to his seventeenth birthday party, to be held in two weeks. 
And the most staggering of all – the parcel also includes your dance card, Sakusa’s name neatly written in it to claim ayour dances for the night. 
Every single dance of the night. 
“Impertinent fellow”, you mutter to yourself, though you can’t help but fall back onto your bed, giggling like a loon. 
Sakusa Kiyoomi is an enigma, a boy shielding his true self from the world by cocooning himself in layers of unfriendliness and grumpiness. But in the short amount of time you’ve spent with him, you’ve discovered that he isn’t as cold or unfeeling as he makes himself out to be. You unearthed his sharp sense of humour when he started dropping barbs about preening party guests, telling you the dirty secrets of each pureblooded family gathered here tonight. 
“She did what?” you gasped. “No way.”
‘Believe it”, he smirked. “She later tried marrying her daughter off to me, but my parents refused”. 
And over the course of the night, you start to see shades of his softer side. He surprised you when he apologised over and over again for not dancing with you the first time, saying he hadn’t realised that you were being overlooked because almost everyone in attendance were snobs. 
“It’s the dress”, you told him cheekily, tugging at the cheap fabric. “Otherwise everyone around here would be falling for my sparkling personality”. 
He couldn’t help but snort at that. 
Then he started to tell you about himself. You learn that he wants to go pro not because he has a burning passion for Quidditch, but rather because it’s something he’s put so much effort into that he might as well continue doing it into adulthood. You learn that despite his complaints about the Ravenclaw team - seemingly sweet Suga and the troublesome beaters Makki and Mattsun in particular driving him insane with their relentless ribbing and puns and jokes, he’s grown fond of them. 
He’s funny and witty and sentimental and smart. You truly enjoyed his company last night. 
You can’t wait to see him again. 
Neither can Sakusa, so it seems. He’s on your doorstep before noon, a bouquet of roses and a bashful expression on his face. 
“A gentleman caller”, you pretend to swoon as you open the door. “Happy day!” 
“I hope I’m the only one”, he retorts, all shyness evaporating immediately, a glint of amusement in his dark eyes. 
“So far you are”, you tease, nose buried in rosebuds. “Fair warning before you sweep me off my feet though - I’m not going to be one of your typical, pureblooded heiresses who’ll titter at every word you say, just cos you’re Sakusa Kiyoomi”. 
He actually chuckles at that. “I’m counting on that”, he says, taking your hand. 
You both share a shy smile.  
668 notes · View notes
forcefullyawake · 3 years
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Hello! This is for @ketslketslketsl claws and creampies collab.
Summary: It’s not every day a pretty girl gives you her number, or pursues you so much. Sure, it looks like Mikasa is hiding something, but how bad could it be?
Pairings: Mikasa x Reader, Monster! Eren x Reader
Warnings: non human sex, noncon, violence, tentacles, gaslighting
WC: 4.8k
You look like an idiot.
There’s really no way around it. The dress your friend had all but forced you into is a little too tight, the straps on it digging into your plump flesh a little too much. The color on your lips is a little too red, the makeup on your eyes a little heavier than you’d ever done before. All of this to stand out, to show to the party at large that not only were you available but you were looking- something you hadn’t gone out of your way to advertise before. Your friends say that you look hot before you leave, but you think you look like you’re trying to hard.
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It’s especially obvious when you’re handed a red solo cup as soon as you walk into the door, and immediately find a place on the wall to people watch. Nobody gives you a second glance (well, maybe a couple do, but at the resting frown on your face nobody gives you a third or tries to strike up a conversation). All of the makeup in the world can’t overcome the fact that you just don’t like talking to new people. Hell, even the friends you came with tonight basically adopted you into their friend group your first week of college, instead of you engaging them.
People filter through the home all around you, some dancing where there’s open space, grinding on each other to a low thumping beat that reverberates through your chest. You have to shift on the uncomfortable heels you’re wearing, trying to subtly grind your thighs together. It’s not like you don’t want that- it’s not like you don’t want to throw caution to the wind and disappear upstairs with some pretty boy or gorgeous girl. It’s just that you don’t know how- it’s like you missed that lesson in school, too wrapped up in a book to learn to relate to people who didn’t exist on a page.
Your mother says it’s not too late to get out there and learn about these things, but it feels that way sometimes. In times like these, it’s hard to gather up the courage to strike up a conversation, even when you’re on your second drink. At least you think it’s your second drink- whatever is in your cup is red and fruity, and it doesn’t taste like there’s much alcohol in it, which even in your limited experience you know is a sure sign there’s probably a whole bottle or two of something in it. It makes your head swim a little, it’s nice in a way but it mostly makes you sleepy.
Maybe you can call an Uber. You can find one of your friends to let them know you’re leaving, call an Uber and go to sleep at an almost decent hour. Let them have all the fun, and the hangovers, while you get a solid eight hours of sleep. At least it’s the weekend, and you have two days of freedom before your job takes up your time again. Your eyes start slowly scanning the crowd, looking for anybody you know- Annie, maybe, she’s tall and her blonde hair sticks out. Or Reiner, the lone male in your group, but knowing him he’s snuck off with Bertolt the first chance they got. Lucky bastard.
“You look lonely,” Someone says to your right, and when you look over there’s a girl standing there. She’s a couple inches taller than you, slender but the sleeves on her shirt are short enough you can see her muscles too. Black hair, pulled back into a ponytail, a dainty gold chain resting on the pale skin of her neck with a little ‘M’ on it. Startling grey eyes that are doing their level best to bore into your skin. Definitely not the type to talk to you.
“Just trying to find my friends,” You say, but it mostly comes out as a whisper. She leans forward a little more, so you repeat yourself, a little louder. There’s a slight edge to her smile when she realizes you’re alone, you think, something about it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. It must be a trick of the light, though, because the next moment it’s gone.
“It might be easier to find them if you’re in the crowd,” She says, murmuring right next to your ear, her breath dancing over your skin, “They could be upstairs, even. I could help you.”
You mean to say no, thanks but no thanks, you’ll be on your way. Your parents talked to you about stranger danger, and you’re on the wrong side of tipsy but what comes out of your mouth is, “Yes, please.” She smiles, victorious and promising.
“I’m Mikasa,” She tells you, putting her hand low on your back as you move away from the wall. The way the dress is designed, all wrapping layers, means there’s a gap in the fabric on your lower back, just enough that you can feel her hand on your skin, cool against you despite how warm it is in the room. You give her your name, watching as she repeats it to make sure she has it correct, eyes rapt on the way her lips move around it.
She doesn’t guide you upstairs, but closer into the makeshift dance floor. It feels like a scene out of one of the romance novels you have tucked away on your bookshelf at home. People seem to part around you, time stands still, all the cliche’s come to life. Her hands are on your hips as she moves behind you, steady and squeezing into you just enough to make your heart race. Mikasa isn’t especially broad but you feel remarkably safe with her right behind you.
“See anybody you know?” She has to lean down to speak in your ear, and between the alcohol and how close she is, you’re not sure you would even recognize your own face. You can feel her moving in time with the music, your own hips starting to sway with hers. Your eyes drift shut, letting her hands wander over your sides, skimming up to right under your breasts before the make a trail like fire back down to your hips. Maybe this isn’t so bad, you think, as you let yourself turn in her arms, her thigh moving between yours.
You’d think it’s a dream, that you did go home when you thought to, and your mind was wandering but the pleasure that courses through your when her jeans rub against your clothed cunt feels too good to be a dream.
“You do this often?” She asks, drawing you back to earth. All you can do is shake your head, arms coming up to wrap around her neck. She laughs at that, mouth forming words you can’t quite make out when you hear your name being called.
“I think your friends have found you,” Mikasa smiles, taking a step back as she eyes someone over your shoulder. Your hands drift back to yourself, helpless in the air before she catches one, grabbing a pen out of her back pocket to scribble something on the back of your hand. She presses a kiss on it when she’s done, giving you a warm smile.
“Call me,” She says, before being swallowed into the bodies behind her. On your hand there’s a phone number. You hold your hand close to your chest as your friends surround you.
“There you are!” Annie hisses at you, wrapping a protective arm around you, “What were you doing with her?”
“Mikasa?” You ask, glancing behind you like you would still be able to see her, “She was helping me look for you. You left me.”
“She looked like she wanted to eat you alive,” Reiner huffs, Bertolt nodding in agreement. You roll your eyes at them.
“Maybe you’re just seeing things,” You suggest, pulling away from them, “Either way I think I’m going to head out. You know this isn’t my scene.”
“I’ll drive you,” Annie says, looking over your shoulder, “Armin is ready to go too.”
“Thanks,” You walk with Annie and her boyfriend to her hatchback, stretching out your legs in the backseat. You ignore their hand holding and longing looks. Clearly, when Annie said Armin was ready to go, she didn’t just mean home. At least the drive home is short. You say your goodbyes and make your way into your apartment, locking the door behind you before getting ready for bed.
Normally you would be tired, but there’s a thrumming in your veins, an undercurrent of excitement at the number written on your skin. You enter it into your phone, debating on sending Mikasa a text, but you hold off, not wanting to seem overeager. Still, you toss and turn, your skin feeling overly sensitive, each brush of your sheets feeling like the brush of fingers.
With a sigh you give up on sleep, rolling onto your back, one hand trailing down your neck while the other pushes up your sleep shirt, fingers skimming up, cupping one breast. You let your eyes close, imaging someone else touching you, Mikasa’s fingers being the ones to curl around your neck, her fingers tweaking at your nipples until they’ve pebbled. You picture her lips, her tongue, when you spread your lips, fingers making tight circles around your clit. It’s not you touching yourself, but her, playing your body like a fiddle until you cum, quicker than you can remember in recent memory, hard and fast, one hand smothering down your moans from your neighbors.
Maybe it should concern you though- no matter how hard you concentrate on Mikasa, picturing her above you, or between your legs, you can seem to recall the color of her eyes.
They only look red in your memory.
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Dawn rises bright and early, pulling you from your sleep. You wake up with your heart racing, pounding in your chest. You don’t remember much of your nightmare, only that something was chasing you, nipping at your heels as you ran for your life. With a shudder you roll out of bed, thoughtlessly grabbing your phone to take it with you to the bathroom.
You gather courage as you brush last night out of your teeth, compose a text while washing your face, and hit send right before you step into the shower. It’s nothing special, a quick text that lets Mikasa know it’s you. Your phone balances precariously too close to your shower, music playing steadily out of it when the sound cuts off- your ringtone starts to play. You’re getting a call.
Grabbing your towel from where it rests you dry your hand, half your body out of the shower as you take the call without checking who it is. Nobody calls anymore, you assume it’s an emergency.
“Hello?” You try not to sound too panicked. The voice on the other end laughs, low and throaty.
“I thought I said to call me?” Mikasa teases you, can you feel your skin heating up for a reason that has nothing to do with the shower. There’s no way to turn the water off from where you are now, not without getting your phone soaked, and you’re sure she can hear exactly where you are. “Though, maybe I should give you a call back.”
“Give me ten seconds, don’t hang up,” You say, not listening for her reply as you place the phone back onto the counter. Reaching over to twist the shower off, ignoring the soap left on your body to grab your towel and wrap it around you properly. It’s not enough but it’ll have to do.
“Still there?” You ask as you make yourself comfortable on the bed. Your sheets are gonna get wet but it’s worth it. Your skin is cold where the air hits it, but you don’t wanna hang up, not yet.
“Of course,” Mikasa breathes, and butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I know it’s a bit old fashioned to call people now, but I find it’s a much better way of communicating with people, don’t you?”
No, you don’t. You get flustered and stutter over your words, so you much prefer texting where you can make sure you say what you want to, but you certainly can’t tell Mikasa that and so- “Yeah, I think so too. It’s hard to read tone over text.”
That part isn’t a lie, at least. Mikasa’s laugh is like honey in your ears. “You don’t have to lie, I can put you out of your misery now, if you’d like. Send some texts with the letter u as you.” Her teasing doesn’t sting you, not even a little bit.
“Or we could just meet up?” You suggest, breath catching in your throat as you wait for her reply. It could be that you’ve completely misread the situation, maybe she’s just being nice, maybe she doesn’t like girls, maybe-
“Give me an address and I’ll pick you up tonight at 7,” Mikasa replies, so smooth and confident it makes your head swim a little. You rattle off your address and she tells you to dress casual before hanging up. You have all day to get ready but you start immediately, drying your hair and styling it before picking out what you hope is a casual enough outfit- a soft white sweater over a sundress patterned with strawberries. A few swipes of pink makeup later and you’re set.
Now all you have to do is wait.
It feels like the hours manage to double themselves, or even triple themselves. A whole lifetime of waiting in one day until you manage to lose track of time and doze off on the couch. Three sharp knocks on your door startle you awake, sending you flying towards the door.
“I’m awake!” You practically shout, throwing the door open. “I mean. Hello. Hi. Can we do that again?”
“No, it was cute,” Mikasa says, smiling at you. You can feel heat rush to your cheeks, trying to ignore it. You’re not sure if you should invite her in but she solves that problem for you. “Are you ready? The place I’m taking you isn’t that far away.”
“Just let me get my shoes on,” You say, quickly turning to slide your feet into the first pair of sandals you see, strappy ones that make you trip if you’re not careful. But it’s fine. You know you’ll be careful tonight.
Mikasa leads you to her car, a silver hatchback. The interior looks spotless, and there’s an almost overwhelming smell of cleaner permeating through the car. You buckle yourself in before looking at her.
“Got it detailed just for me?” You think your voice is teasing but Mikasa stiffens, inhaling sharply as she looks at you. Her reaction takes you aback. “Whoa. Sorry. Teasing!” Mikasa relaxes almost imperceptibly at that, but you can see her shoulders sag down a little.
“Sorry, normally nobody notices how clean a car is,” She says, “Took me off guard. You’re very perceptive.”
“A lifetime of being a wallflower,” You reply without thinking, “You get good at people watching, all that jazz.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it,” She teases you back now, bringing a smile to your face. She’s right, the place she takes you isn’t that far away and the drive passes smoothly as she pulls into the parking lot of your towns oldest diner. You sit up straighter in your seat- you haven’t been here since you were a kid.
“It’s a little old fashioned, I know,” Mikasa says as she gets out, and you must be distracted because the next thing you know she’s opening your door for you, and there’s no way she moved that fast. “But the ice cream floats here are to die for.”
“Oh no, this is great!” You exclaim, walking next to her into the diner. She asks for a booth in the corner, something you didn’t know people did outside of your romance novels.
“Order whatever you want,” Mikasa says, barely giving the menu a glance. “It’s my treat.” Your mother didn’t raise you to take advantage of someone’s generosity even on a date so you order a small combination meal- though you do opt to upgrade your drink to an ice cream float at Mikasa’s insistence you try one.
“What do you do for work?” You ask, trying not to cringe at your attempt at small talk while you wait for your food to come out.
“I’m.. uh,” Mikasa hesitates now, looking anywhere but your face. It takes her a fraction of a second too long to answer, just enough time to make you frown when she continues, “I’m a caregiver.” Even to you it sounds like a half truth, but you let it slide, not wanting to be too pushy on a first date.
“Oh?” You say, shifting in your seat, “How did you get started in that?”
“It just kind of.. picked me, I suppose.” Mikasa still isn’t meeting your eyes and you figure it’s time for a change of subject.
“How do you know Historia?” There, that should be a safe question. She was at Historia’s party last night, after all.
“We were friends way back in elementary school,” Mikasa explains, clearly relieved to have moved to something different. “I live one neighborhood over from her, so we’ve already just hung out together.” That makes sense to you- Annie has known Historia since high school, and Annie seemed to know of Mikasa.
“Got any embarrassing stories?” You know you probably shouldn’t ask but you can’t resist. The Historia you know is almost regal in nature, prim and perfect at all times. You can’t even imagine her as a child.
“Oh, do I ever,” Mikasa says, voice a little lower as she leans towards you, launching into a story from her childhood. You hardly notice your food appearing, and then barely taste it as you eat, hanging on Mikasa’s every word. She’s funny and engaging, and it’s not until you hear the pointed cough of the man behind the register that you realize it’s closing time for them.
“Yeah, Zeke, we’re going,” Mikasa says with a roll of her eyes as she pays him. He huffs at her a little bit but soon enough the two of you are sitting inside of her car, an awkward silence growing. What do you say now? You don’t want this date to end but would it be to forward to invite her over? Or will she invite you over? You don’t get too far into your thoughts when the car starts moving.
“Do you wanna come over?” She asks, the car sitting long at a stop sign. She’s looking dead ahead, fingers gripping the wheel so hard it turns white. She’s just as nervous as you are, you realize.
“Yes, please,” You manage to breathe out before continuing on, not wanting to sound rude, “If you want me to, that is.”
“Trust me, I want you to,” Mikasa replies, something laced in her voice but she doesn’t relax at all on the drive to her place. The drive is quiet, tense in a way you don’t understand, but there’s still an electric current in your veins as her house comes into view. It’s one neighborhood over from where you were last night, just like she said, a small place that looks like a two bedroom.
“I got it from my parents,” She explains as she leads you inside, locking the door behind you. “When they passed.” You’re not sure what to say at that but the moment passes. Mikasa leads you to the couch.
Now what?
“So,” You start, barely getting the word out before her lips are pressed against yours, pushing you back onto the couch. Her mouth is firm on yours, insistent. Her hands are on you, sliding down your sides, teasing your thighs under the hem of your dress. Her mouth moves to your neck, biting and kissing and sucking her way down.
It’s a lot, almost too much. You want to tell her to stop, to slow down a little but Mikasa presses forward, your dress sliding up as she slides down between your legs. The shadows on the wall dance in a weird way, that doesn’t seem to move with the way the lights are. You can’t voice anything as Mikasa’s mouth covers your pussy, mouthing at it over your underwear. Her spit wets the fabric, her tongue dragging over your clit, making your eyes roll back. Your fingers curl into fists at your side, legs spreading wider to accommodate her shoulders- which you realize seem too wide now.
You’re so close when your eyes finally open and you look down.
Mikasa isn’t between your legs.
Whatever’s taken her place isn’t human, the face looks human enough but his body (and he’s definitely a him- you think you almost recognize him) blends in with the shadow, tentacles sliding up behind him, reaching out for you.
“Hello,” The monster says, ignoring the way you scream. You manage to twist free, catching him by surprise as your hand shoots out to scratch right at his eyes. You’re on your feet, running as you hear two voices call out your name.
But your shoes, your stupid strappy sandals- your ankle rolls in them and then something grabs you before you fall completely, your head slamming against the front door as everything does dark.
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“Wake up,” A harsh voice commands you. It’s a growl, in human and it seems to be inside of your head. You ignore it, trying to roll over, thinking you’re dreaming but you can’t move. That makes your eyes shoot open.
“You’re up!” The monster is looming over you, using it’s many tentacles to hold you down. Your clothes are gone, the cold air biting at your skin. You’re not even sure how it’s this cold inside of a bedroom, one that looks to be incredibly decorated as well. There’s a chair in the corner, a plush blanket under you. It almost looks like a hotel room.
“Mikasa brought you just for me,” It tells you , leaning in close, his tongue coming out to lick at your throat. “You’re so sweet, I can’t wait to play with you, can’t wait to eat you right up!”
“Let- let go of me!” You shout, trying to make your voice as loud as possible. Maybe a neighbor will hear you. Maybe the monster doesn’t like loud noises. “Mikasa!”
“You can scream all you want, nobody is coming to save you,” The monster seems to delight in the way his cruel words make you cry. “It’s just me and you.” It pauses. “Maybe I’ll let Mikasa play with you a little too, before I kill you. She really liked you, she almost didn’t want to give you to me.”
He leans closer, speaking into your ear, rancid breath sweeping over you, “But I insisted. And she won’t ever deny me.”
“Eren,” Mikasa’s voice comes from the door way, “There’s no need to be cruel.” She’s not looking at you at all, looking rapturously at the monster on top of you. She looks in awe, in love even.
And not even slightly afraid of him.
“You know they taste better when they’re afraid, Mikasa, how many times do I have to tell you that?” The monster, Eren, snaps at her, hardly giving her a second glance. A tentacle creeps up your leg, twisting around it, the tip grazing over your cunt. A shudder of revulsion runs through you when it taps your clit, sending a spark of pleasure through you. “It’s better when they fight it. It always is.”
“Whatever you say, Eren,” Mikasa gives a sigh, taking up the seat you saw before. She’s wearing sweat pants now, a sports bra, looking like she’s just came in from working out. There’s a light sweat on her skin.
“Going to watch this time?” Eren asks, shifting so he’s to your side now, his tentacles holding you open, putting you on display. You try to close your legs but he’s too strong, his grip too tight. “Normally you don’t. Is this one special?”
“You know as well as I do that she’s just like the rest of them,” Mikasa says, and that, more than anything is what breaks you. A sob tears from your throat, as reality comes crashing in. You’re nothing more than a mark- she was never really into you at all.
Of course, you think, why would anybody like her be into someone like you?
More of his tentacles come up, holding your pussy open to their gazes. Despite her harsh words Mikasa has a hard time looking away from it. Eren’s tentacles are softer than they look as one circles your clit, drawing wetness from you no matter how much you tell yourself you don’t want this.
The tip of the tentacle is insistent though, circling your clit with more pressure until your hips jump up, chasing after it when Eren moves it back. He laughs, mocking and mean, before returning to his ministrations. He’s not soft in the way he touches you, one tentacle coming up to start to slowly push it’s way inside of you. It’s bigger than anything you’ve ever taken before and it hurts.
“Stop,” You whine, hips twisting away from him as much as you can, “It hurts, please, stop!”
“I’ll stop when I’ve had my fill,” Eren replies, his voice mockingly sweet as the tentacle rams into you, splitting you open. The one circling your clit has left, leaving you reeling as your mind focuses in on the pain. The pace he sets is brutal, and his tentacle doesn’t feel like a cock or any of your toys. It squirms inside of you, pushing upwards along your front wall until-
“Fuck!” You wail now, thrashing on the bed. Eren smiles, and Mikasa gives a little whimper. You manage to look at her only to see her sat low in the chair, her own legs spread, with one of her hands down the front of her sweats, clearly touching herself while the other works at one of her nipples. “Please!”
“I knew you would beg,” Eren sounds delighted, “They always beg!” Your words seem to be what he was waiting for- the tentacle returns to your clit while the other attacks that spongy spot inside of you. You’re crying outright now, absolutely sobbing with- with everything, really. Your cries are of pleasure, of pain, of fear, of ecstasy. You cum harder than you ever have in your entire life.
But Eren doesn’t stop.
He keeps going, now moving to to lap up your juices with his tongue, cleaning you as one orgasm trips into the next, and then another. You can’t tell if you ever really come down from one. It’s too much, it hurts again, and you don’t want this- you know you don’t want this, you want him to stop and-
You pass out, somewhere after what you think is an hour, if not more. Your mind blissfully goes blank, locking you away behind a door, away from your fractured reality.
People are talking above you, in quiet, hushed tones.
“We can’t keep her.”
“You said you just wanted a snack tonight, Eren. Not.. not that.”
“She’ll go to the police.”
“They won’t believe her, you know that. They didn’t believe Historia.”
“Historia was a child.”
“I’ll convince her she fell asleep or something, you know I can.”
“Fine. But Mikasa?”
“Yes?”
“Next time she’s mine.”
You don’t hear anything after that.
“Hey,” Mikasa is by your side. You’re back on her couch, clothes in place. You jerk up, away from her, looking for signs of what happened but there’s nothing. You don’t see any bruising. You feel sore between your legs, but nothing that would match what you went through. “You fell asleep. After we fucked.”
That’s not true, you know it isn’t true but the only other explanation doesn’t make sense. Monsters aren’t real. You weren’t… assaulted by one. Mikasa has to be right.
“Oh,” You struggle to sit up, feeling sluggish. “I’m sorry. I’m normally not like that.” The smile on Mikasa’s face is warm, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I think I need to go home. I don’t feel so good. Can you take me?”
“Sure, of course,” Mikasa sounds relieved. That’s good, you think, she’s not mad at you. It must have been awkward for her when you fell asleep, had that nightmare. It felt so real. She helps you gather up your things. One of the straps on your sandal is broken. You’re not sure how but it’s a short walk to her car, you can go barefoot.
She starts it up, already talking to you about meeting up again, maybe next week if you want? You tell her it sounds nice, that you had a really good time tonight. You can’t tell how she’s lying through her teeth.
You give her home one last look as she pulls the car away.
If you didn’t know any better, you would think the shadow in the window had a face, that it waved at you.
But you know better.
Monsters aren’t real.
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love-archon · 3 years
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A Day With The Genshin Characters: Liyue Edition
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Today's going to be a busy day! Check your planner for who you'll be meeting with- as one of the esteemed members of the Liyue Qixing, you cannot afford to be late to any appointment. 
• 6:00, Ningguang: Morning Tea 
Although you say you love your job, waking up at un-archonly hours has to be the part you like the least. Even getting up at five in the morning, the hour when tigers prowl, is still not enough time to prepare for a meeting with the Tianquan. You rush around frantically choosing the best outfit, fragrance, and hair arrangement to present yourself to Lady Ningguang, and you're halfway out the door when it hits you- you forgot to bring a gift with you!
"Right on time," Ningguang says, pleased. You smile, hoping she won't hear your heart beating from anxiety. "And what a lovely present, too... is there any doubt you were appointed as one of the seven Qixing?" (You can't tell if it's her rare praise, or the sheer altitude you're at within the Jade Chamber, that's making your head spin).
• 7:00, Keqing: Business Meeting 
You barely have time to rest before Keqing whisks you away to Yuehai Pavilion. You're very close friends, and you admire the girl for her tenacity and diligence. The conversation flows easily as you walk to your destination under a cloudless sky. It's a wonderfully sunny moment, but the moment the doors lock, you mean business. In the next two hours, you conquer matters that would normally take days to resolve, and the two of you exchange grins. 
"There we go!" Keqing breathes a sigh of relief, pushing away the last stack of papers. She holds up her hand, and you high-five. "You know, I like how easily you keep up with me. You even caught mistakes I would have missed... things like this make me even more certain Liyue is better off in human hands."
• 9:00: Check In With Ganyu
With such a hectic schedule, Ganyu is your saving grace. It's always important to check in with her, just to make sure nothing you have planned catches you by surprise, and sometimes you wonder why others rarely do the same. She's quite lonely, and often mentions how nice it is that you speak with her every day and bring her gifts to help with work. It may be part of your job to be courteous, but... it does help her feel less lonely and conflicted with herself. 
"Qingxin flowers? Thank you so much." She accepts them gratefully, smiling at you with warm eyes. "I still have that new stationery you gave me, too. You're so kind for remembering the things I like!"
• 9:30: Talk to Beidou
The tea in the Jade Chamber was just a front for Ningguang to spring a request on you- meet with the captain of the Crux Fleet to discuss her... recent smuggling habits. But Beidou merely laughs heartily when you arrive. A crewmate tosses her a sack of Mora, and she slits it open, letting the payment shower over you in a spray of gold. And then, before you know what's happening, you're roped into helping them find a treasure rumored to be lost beneath the waves. 
"So, Ningguang though sending her star diplomat would get me to let up, huh!" You blush, wondering how you could be so easy to read under her ruby eye. "I was impressed by your words, and how well you fought by my side. But the annoyance of the Liyue Qixing is of no concern to me."
• 12:00, Tartaglia: TEACH HIM A LESSON!
As the member of the Qixing that oversees diplomacy and foreign relations, it's you that must meet with the Fatui Harbinger. He's quite good at playing pretend- all your underlings believed he was a naive, careless young man, and easily manipulated, too. And all of them ended up suppressing the urge to break something after they were done conversing with him. On your honor as one of Liyue's seven stars, you vow to not make their mistakes. 
"You're asking why I don't try to drive you mad?" he said, setting down his fork. You'd caved in and given him one after watching him struggle with chopsticks for far too long. "You're the only one who isn't a bore to talk to, that's all-" so this was on purpose?!- "and besides, I want to challenge you to a fight afterwards! Your vision's getting quite dusty from neglect, comrade. Let's fix that!"
• 2:00, Yanfei: Discussion of Legal Matters
Yanfei's counsel is an invaluable treasure. Especially when dealing with an opponent as vicious as Snezhnaya's Fatui, who deserve to have her wrath unleashed upon them. You walk to her office with a gleam in your eyes, and are delighted to see an equal fire already blazing in hers. For the next few hours, you two take the "suggestions" Tartaglia passed on from the Northland Bank and scheme on how to best tear them to shreds with the law.
"That man-childe's been giving you trouble again, huh," she giggles. "What did he come up with this time~? I've been waiting for an excuse to bring out the latest edition of my lawbook!" And with that, Yanfei slams it down, and the sheer weight of it nearly cracks her desk. "He won't know what hit him!"
• 4:00: Free Time
Of course, "free time" simply means that you have no meetings scheduled for this hour, which lets you adequately prepare for the next day's events. Tomorrow is your appointment with the Feiyun Commerce Guild, which you already know will require great patience and strength of mind. Because the head of the guild, and his eldest son, the future head, are- to put it mildly- not very bright... it's fortunate, then, that the second son Xingqiu has a good head on his shoulders.  
"Tomorrow, you should go straight to me instead," Xingqiu informs you cheerily, handing you a popsicle. Apparently, he keeps them around for his friend Chongyun, who's off to complete another exorcism. "I'll be sure to set everything in order." His eyes gleam. "And then, I can tell you the latest developments in 'A Legend of Sword'!"
• 5:00: Catch Xinyan's Concert!
Liyue's one and only rock musician isn't hard to find, thanks to the designated performance spots scattered around the city. You stop by at the raised platform where she's rocking out, where other people are listening as well. Xinyan strikes a peace sign in the air, and her vision glows with energy before the stage erupts with pillars of fire; her audience bursts into cheers and applause, and she's beaming as she leaps down to meet you. 
"Wait, seriously? You really changed up the rules a lil' so it'll be easier for me to hold concerts here?" Her eyes shine as they scan the papers- one of the many results of your work today in Yuehai. "Thank you so much! Wait-" she picks up her guitar again, giving it an experimental riff. "Let me think up a quick song for ya as thanks- I insist!"
• 6:00: Wangsheng Funeral Parlor 
Lately, you've been sent particularly determined requests from the other nations about allowing tourists to observe the ancient funeral rites. You already know the answer's gonna be a hard no, but the laws written by Rex Lapis state that you must check with the director anyway. She's not there when you arrive, so a consultant, Zhongli, brings you tea while you wait for her. You sit together in the fading sun, waiting for Hu Tao's familiar song to rise above the hill. 
Zhongli takes a quiet sip from his cup, closing his luminous eyes. "Although it was Rex Lapis who created the laws, they are not meant to be set in stone. Humans must revise the contract as they see fit, so that it will not erode with the passage of time." Something makes you feel as though it's more significant to him than you know. Then, he smiles slightly. "But, just looking at the people leading the way in his absence, like you... there's no need for me to worry."
• 8:00: Dinner; Request Chef Xiangling
The Wanmin Restaurant, run by Chef Mao and his daughter, is a breath of fresh air. While the rest of Liyue is divided between the "Li" and "Yue" styles of cooking, Xiangling pays the conflict no mind. Instead, she's not afraid to be daring and experiment, blazing ahead without worrying about what others think. You can see some similarities between her and Keqing, but it's best not to mention it after that disastrous banquet they organized together... 
"Had a rough day, didn't you?" Xiangling asks, her golden eyes twinkling as she hands you the steaming hot bowl. "Well, for you, I made sure to prepare your favorite dish! I hope you don't mind if I added a lizard or two this time- I'm kidding!" she adds quickly, upon seeing alarm flash across your face. 
• 9:00: Return Home
After everything that happened, you're eager to collect the reports from your subordinates and head home to draft new revisions for Tianquan Ningguang to look over (and then, hopefully, get some rest). But as you're walking on the path to your neighborhood, you spot a little girl sitting in the grass, clutching her head. Alarm rises in your chest as you rush over to see what's wrong, and why she's alone- only to realize with a start that she's the child that returned from the dead.  
"Thank you for taking Qiqi back to Bubu Pharmacy," she says, reading solemnly from her notebook (where the entire thank-you script is written). Even when you set her down, she's still reading the pieces of paper. "Will you tell Dr. Baizhu where I got lost? Please and thank you, again."
• 10:00: Sleep
In the end, you never did get to those revisions. You can hear your fellow Qixing scolding you in your head, but at least you got plenty of other things done; the well-oiled machine that is Liyue will still keep running on thanks to the tasks you accomplished today. Someday, even the adepti will have to acknowledge the ability of humans... you turn in your bed to feel the coolness of the other side. Speaking of adepti... the night air coming in... reminds you of... "Xiao..."
"I thought you were in danger," the adeptus huffs. The moment you said his name, you'd finally fallen asleep, but it still brought Xiao to you- balanced on the windowsill, hair waving in the breeze. "Still... I'm... glad that you're alright," he admits, glancing at you to make sure you're not awake to hear. "Rest well, bright star of Liyue." And then, with a sound like a sigh- or was it the wind?- he's gone.
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madhyanas · 3 years
Text
a strumming of nerves
“Take it,” Din whispers, hissing between his teeth. He’s pleading. “Take it, destroy it. Anything. Just don’t leave me alone with it.”
Read this on AO3!
Characters: Din Djarin & Boba Fett
Rating: T/PG-13
Word Count: 2k
Warnings/Ratings: Post-S2. Boba Fett POV. Haunted Darksaber/Din’s Haunted AU. Sleepwalking. Implied possession. Not horror, but creepy vibes for sure.
Notes: this au was originally created by @keldabekush, @kyberpistol and others! i’m just messing around with it. good luck trying to parse through this one lads idk how it’ll go
masterlist
———
There’s a noise keeping Boba awake.
It’s a thrumming. Quiet enough to settle into the background, seep into the rocky palace walls, it’s almost innocent. He could almost mistake it for the whine of some desert gnat that snuck in underground.
Almost.
But in the months since he and his companions have settled here, lying awake and staring at the ceiling of his palace quarters has never invited such a sick feeling to his stomach. It’s not nausea — he’s well acquainted with that. Kamino, Geonosis, Coruscant, Tatooine. Nausea has followed him like a diseased shadow.
This is different. He calls it anticipation, for to hear a noise and feel fear is foolishness he’s long outgrown.
The noise doesn’t get louder. The snaked, coiled thing growing in the pit of his stomach gets heavier, and heavier.
Just as he feels he may be crushed into the soft sheets by whatever waking night-terror has decided to sit on his chest, Boba sits up. In fact, he gets out of bed, swings his legs over the edge to touch the chilly stone floor, and steps outside. He’s always preferred doing things, anyway.
There’s nothing out of the ordinary as Boba stares out into the empty throne room. Thin, slivered shadows and hollow caverns. There’s nothing besides that kriffing noise, he thinks sourly, tiredly, before he turns his head.
Someone is standing in the hallway.
Danger.
At first he doesn’t believe it. A simple silhouette that Boba can barely make out in the dark. Something about it doesn’t quite seem real, as if that same waking night-terror hasn’t yet been rubbed from his eyes. Boba blinks. Its outline is blurry, encircled by a slim ring of darkness and seeming to shift in and out of focus. Moonlight doesn’t touch the shape, doesn’t even creep near.
Boba doesn’t approach either. Not even when he recognises the figure. The shoulders, the stance. He can feel in his bones that in the inky blackness hides a scruffy jaw and sad, weathered eyes. “Djarin?”
Din does not respond. He continues to stand there, staring silently down at the floor, which throws the figure’s identity into question because Din is polite to a fault. Fennec had laughed about it when they’d first met the man; a bounty hunter with manners.
What’s wrong with the figure, Boba realises, is that it’s still. Too still. He squints. His eyes aren’t what they used to be, and it’s dark, but he doesn’t think ‘Din’ is… breathing.
The very wrongness of the situation has his fingers twitching for a weapon that isn’t there.
Boba is beginning to think he should have carried a blaster.
“Din,” he calls, more urgently. “What are you doing?”
Silence, again. A sudden gust of wind whistles outside the window, churning sand against rocky architecture. It scrapes.
Boba’s frown deepens. This isn’t right.
The figure then turns — though that isn’t the right word for the movement. It’s a kind of swaying, as if the body can’t quite settle its centre of gravity and settles for a light, weightless bobbing around a fixed point. Almost like dangling. There is no rustling of cloth, no scrape of foot against sandstone floor.
Against his better judgement, Boba glances down. Both of the figure’s feet are flat on the ground.
Of course, his rational mind whispers. What were you expecting?
This ‘Din’, still standing at the other end of the hallway, now faces him directly. And gripped tightly in his left hand is the source of that infernal thrumming.
The Darksaber. Ignited and ready for battle, as it always has been.
Now, technically, pointed at Boba. The figure doesn’t turn away. The light it gives off is sickly, splattering Din’s shirt with the same strange, inverse not-glow the blade itself emanates.
It reminds him of a fish, of all things. One he’d read about, so many years ago. The type that suckers in prey with a shining, blinding light.
A throb in his temple makes itself known, winding the tension in his spine even tighter. When did the thrumming get so loud? It’s everywhere; it bites up his legs and punctures the soft spots between his ribs. A clawed hand crushing a spoilt fruit in its grasp.
Boba clenches his fists to stop himself from covering his ears, nails biting into the flesh of his palms. The sound is more piercing this time, with purpose and deadly aim.
Thick, oozing cold settles in his gut. There is only one possible target in this room.
It gets louder. And louder. It ebbs and flows like the tide but so much more vicious. It doesn’t stop; the noise simmers and bubbles and rings in his ears, resounding through the hallway so strongly it shakes his teeth to the tender, aching nerves and pounds at the insides of his skull. It’s swarming out from behind his eyes and it doesn’t stop, why can’t it stop — the Darksaber swings upwards, ready to strike the final blow — why is this happening he should take it—
“Din!”
The figure flinches. Boba’s shout is as good as a bullet. His shoulders heave with staggering breaths. His heartbeat pulses jaggedly at his throat and he’s panting; a cold, thin sheen of sweat is draped over the back of his neck.
The Darksaber is held high above Boba’s head. The crest of a wave, frozen. Then the blade retreats with a quiet whoosh before the hilt clatters to the ground. That’s the only reason Boba realises the thrumming has stopped.
It still doesn’t feel fixed. Nothing does.
The figure stumbles forward and Din’s haggard face is suddenly awash in a sliver of moonlight. He’s a puppet cut down from his strings, crumpling to the ground.
Boba is there to catch him. As it will be.
“Easy. What happened?” he questions gruffly, too preoccupied with checking the other man over for injuries to hear just how hoarse his voice is.
But whatever state he’s in, Din is worse. He stares at some point on Boba’s shoulder with glazed, unfocused eyes. The man is sweating buckets. “I... I don’t know.”
Din’s voice is soft, as Boba has come to expect, though not reassuring. It crackles and bursts to suggest there’s mucus sitting in his airways, spitting and popping like rotting fat thrown out to sizzle on Tatooine street corners.
Perhaps it is reassuring, then, to be holding his friend so limp in his arms like this. Because Boba knows what blood in the lungs sounds like, and the distinct lack of it anywhere in the musty hallway finally brings his racing pulse something close to calm.
Boba makes a slow, calculated move to rise from the floor and lift the other man with him, but Din flinches when he feels Boba’s shoulders tense. A flinch that dissolves into faint tremors wracking his body, which Boba is loath to ignore, but it also clears the fog from his gaze somewhat.
“I’m—” Din clears his throat and forces out a hard, sharp breath. “I’m fine.” He looks Boba in the eye. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
“No, you’re not,” Boba returns dryly, though he can’t deny the weight that slips from his chest. Breathing, talking. Even with the tremors leaching from Din’s bones into his own, they’re good signs.
Din cracks a weak smile, which comes out more as a grimace. In any case, it doesn’t matter when it’s wiped away almost immediately as Din glances to the side.
Boba looks too. Next to the wall, the discarded hilt of the Darksaber stares back.
“Fett,” Din says gravely, keeping his eyes trained on the weapon. So gravely in fact, that Boba’s hackles rise. He’s speaking as if— as if his life depends on it.
“What?”
The fingers on Boba’s shoulder dig in tightly. “Take it,” Din whispers, hissing between his teeth. He’s pleading. “Take it, destroy it. Anything. Just don’t leave me alone with it.”
Boba is not a man easily surprised. But there is something inherently sickening in the crease of Din’s brow, anxious and abandoned. So much about all this is wrong.
He’s pallid, Boba realises. Din is shivering and sickly and sweaty like he’s in the slump of a fever. He’s still staring at that damned saber.
In the dark, they’re both kneeling on the ground. They are kneeling, technically, before the Darksaber itself.
And with a stubborn set of his jaw, Boba makes a decision.
He swings Din up from the ground, maintaining a stable hold on both arms and looping one round his own neck before either of them can topple back down.
“Right,” Boba barks, and Din’s head snaps up. “You’re going to get some sleep. And you’re leaving that blasted thing here.” His voice leaves no room for discussion.
As he marches them back to Din’s quarters, taking careful stock of any acute weaknesses in the other man’s posture and satisfied to find none for now, Din’s gaze remains forward. It latches onto the door with sharp, quiet focus, and the sight could make Boba grin.
The haunted look in his eyes is new territory. But determination; that, Boba can work with.
Walls of granite and sandstone are taller at night, it seems. Boba gets the fleeting sense that they’re boxed in on either side, in such narrow walkways, then shuns the thought. The palace is his territory. He has nothing to fear, here.
Still, he makes his way around the corners a touch quicker than before.
By the time they’ve gotten to Din’s door, neither of them have looked back once. It’s illogical, he knows. But they both look straight ahead without fail. As if that would keep the thrumming at bay. As if they feel the silence is any better.
Din takes a moment to push himself upright, testing his balance. “Thank you,” he says quietly. It’s sincere, which Boba can respect. He just doesn’t know what it’s for.
Settling on a nod, Boba suggests, “I’ll keep it in my quarters.” The empty sword still lies in the other corridor. “We’ll… figure things out in the morning.”
Din’s mouth flattens into a pained line, and a muscle jumps uncomfortably at his temple. Here, with a little more light, Boba can see the bags etched under the man’s eyes. He’s struck with the impression that this… sleepwalking, for lack of a better term, is not a recent development.
“Yeah,” Din mumbles. “In the morning.”
He eyes his cot as a starving man would a feast, but lingers at the boundary.
When Din speaks, Boba almost regrets waiting to hear it.
“I don’t know what it’s doing to me.”
The words are uttered with a familiar, resigned shame that drips to the floor. It puddles around Din in viscous trails, drooping his shoulders and shutting his eyes. Weighing him down for longer than a night, clearly.
“I don’t know anymore, Fett. Sometimes I can hear it talking to me. Talking. I think I might—” He wheezes out a sigh, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes as if to purge whatever he sees there.
A moment to collect himself, drag all the pieces together with string and a loose knot. Then, in a quiet, ragged voice, Din confesses, “I think I’m going insane.”
False platitudes have never come easily to Boba, and they don’t start now. His jaw is slack as he searches for the words, anything to fill that chasm, until he realises there aren’t any.
So he doesn’t say anything at all, save for a slow, sympathetic hand on Din’s shoulder. He stands with his friend.
And in the dark of the palace, Boba wonders if Din might be right.
———
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