So it was like 10 o'clock at night, I was off at 10:45, I'm deliriously tired. When I scan this pack of High Noons (alcohol) and go to ask for her birthday, what comes out is,
"Could I get your phone number? NO, that's a pick-up line. What I MEANT WAS-"
So then she, myself, and Friend A who's bagging for me all start fucking dying. Then her boyfriend walks up and starts laughing with us, and she goes,
"Honestly, I was about to give it to you! The confidence alone!"
And we all laugh about this for the next three minutes while I finish ringing her up. Turns out she was nine years older than me, and for context, I turn nineteen next month, so I must be smoother than I thought. I hand her her receipt and I start laughing again before I can finish the sentence, cause like I said, I was exhausted, but what I said was,
"Sorry I tried to pick up your girl."
We all laugh again and they left. My line was then empty. Friend B's line was empty ahead of us, and he turned around and starts laughing cause he heard the whole thing. Friend A calls me the Rizzard of Oz and says that girl will have to get a rizzstraining order. Then like three minutes later, after Friend A has had time to go tell her, my manager turns to me, makes the phone gesture with her hand, and says
"Phone number?"
So we all start dying again. I say to the group, with no customers around,
"For exactly three minutes, I had rizz."
And my 27 year-old manager, who's a bisexual mother of five, goes,
"In your defense, I would've asked for her number too."
1 note
·
View note
One thing you have to remember is that online queer discourse doesn't make a damn bit of difference to systemic queerphobia irl or LGBT rights. No amount of playing respectability politics by identifying the "real freaks" will ever lead to sexual emancipation or prevent sexual violence. No amount of trying to identify and cast out "oppressors" and "infiltrators" will ever make homophobes and transphobes respect the sanctity of your sexual identity. Not letting people have words and flags and colours is absolutely nothing except a weapon for online harrassment and clout-chasing wielded by white and Western weirdos who've drunk the colonizer Kool-Aid.
1K notes
·
View notes
I am screaming, I love this thread so much
For context, one of the characters in Hank Green's novels is a bi woman.
1K notes
·
View notes
Bisexuals be like one day I dress like a lumberjack the next day I am goth the next day I am feminine the next day I am comfy the next day i am masc the next day I am
5K notes
·
View notes