#they still attack me like normal cards

[the-messy-artist]

My cousins tarot cards: here, you can read them up right or reversed, and here's what it means depending on the orientation. You can also use several different spreads, and it's all in the book. I'll be right here if you need me.

My tarot cards: here's spreads, the card, and a short story about the illustration. Figure it out.

#rambling from the berry bush #it fucking works too #wild unknown tarot #witchcraft #tarot #witch memes #they still attack me like normal cards #i just have to trust my intuition on the attack

[chigirizzz]

first kiss

characters: isagi, bachira, sae

gn! reader, not proofread so there might be some mistakes, anxiety attack (bachira's)

— ISAGI YOICHI

"stop," you told isagi when he approaches you in front of the school.

his smile disappears and he stops beside you, his body turned towards you. you continued to stare straight ahead, focused on the rain that showed no sign of letting up. "huh? what did i do?"

“you’re sick. stay away from me." your behavior didn't change, in fact, you were quite afraid that you were too rude or anything, but any remorse vanished when you heard your boyfriend's laugh. "why are you laughing?!"

"you're funny."

"and you're sick. stay away at least four meters. you know i get sick easily."

"i'll take care of you if that happens."

surprise took over you at his words; isagi yoichi always has been and always will be a pretty awkward guy—something that you didn't mind and in some occasions you found it cute—, which meant he wasn't the best at words, whether he was the one saying them or receiving them. he was more of actions and thoughts, not words.

there were times, however, when isagi yoichi pulled a special card and made your heart feel warm with simple actions or sentences and with absolutely no shyness.

this was one of those times. and as you stare—no, admire him with stars and hearts in your eyes, you feel guilty with how you kept a distance that school day just because he was sick, thinking that he wouldn't be offended. not exactly offended, but he wasn't happy either.

"yoichi…" you said. "i'm sorry. why are you such a good partner…"

he smiled and gave your head a few pats. "you're so silly."

"if i do get sick, make me a chicken soup."

it was an innocent joke, so you didn't expect him to suddenly kiss you. lips on lips for the first time, a moment that you never thought it would be like that. you responded to the kiss. it was a bit awkward since it was both of your first kisses, but it felt good.

afraid that he needed to stop to breathe some air (due to his stuffy nose), you tried to step away, with no vail because his hand landed on your lower back and pulled you closer to him gently, his lips now more hungry for yours.

he just pulled away when your hand touched his cheek—even if it was a gentle touch, the temperature difference between your warm hand and his cold cheek gave him a little thermal shock.

"now you'll get sick for sure," he says with a smile and pink cheeks.

"idiot. i love you."

— BACHIRA MEGURU

your legs started running to the boys' restroom as soon as you finished reading the message on your phone; your head filled with worry for your friend who was apparently hiding in one of the stalls having an anxiety attack.

these moments of his fragility were relatively common for you. bachira meguru had you as his best and only friend, so it was normal to notice when his insecurities and his loneliness got the best of him — and the times he got into unnecessary fights.

these were moments you were used to, but they still worried you a lot.

the restroom was quiet and empty, only one of the stalls had its door closed so you figured it was your best friend.

you knocked on the stall door. "bachira? are you here?"

...

"bachi-"

"come in."

you entered the stall as soon as he opened the door. the space was cramped and not very hygienic, which made the boy more suffocated, anxious, but he knew that your presence, although it contributed to a more enclosed space, made him feel safe.

"it's okay, bachira. i'm here, you're safe," you reassured him, your thumb caressing his hand, kneeling in front of him while he sat on the floor with his back against the wall.

"they made fun of me again." his hand now held yours, squeezing it from time to time. a bitter smile took over his lips. "i feel so alone..."

"you're not alone, bachira, you have me and your mother. the others are stupid people who aren't worth it," you said. "remember the exercise we've already done. let's start—five things you can see."

“eh…” he looked around; there wasn’t much inside a school bathroom but you could make it work. “my shoes.”

“and what are your shoes like? analyze them," you told him with a soft tone of voice to help him calm down.

minutes passed. you didn't know how long you and bachira stayed in the restroom but the absence of noise from other students confirmed that you were currently skipping a period. who cares.

you helped the boy with the exercise, occasionally having to imagine objects for him to detect because again, there wasn't much inside a school bathroom…

he was slowly feeling better, and you knew this for sure because when you asked him for the second thing he could smell, he answered piss.

"it's true though~," he teased you and his nose sniffed. his eyes were getting less red.

"yeah but i don't want to think about urine right now, meg." a sight escaped your lips; nevertheless, his answer didn't actually bother you, you enjoyed his jokes even if sometimes made you question his sanity. "let's just move on."

"ok~ what's next?"

"one thing you can taste."

"watch me lick the toilet!"

"no!" you flicked his forehead to which he just giggled. "there must be something in here you can try. let me check my backpack."

"no need, y/n."

you faced him confused, hands inside your backpack trying to find a snack. "why not? we're almost done—"

you felt a pair of hands grabbing your shoulders and being pulled forward—face to face to bachira, to be precise.

"because i think i know what i want to taste. it's in front of me right now." his low voice and vibrant yellow colored eyes made you at a loss for words. he was so close to you, closer than he has already been, that you could feel your skin tingle, legs slightly weak and your chest moving up and down slowly. what… "do i have the permission to kiss you, y/n?" he asked, thumb brushing your lower lip.

"i…" oh god. "yeah." you nodded.

and so he did.

despite his confession and gaze being gentle, the kiss was the complete opposite. his lips literally crushed into yours, the sudden force of his body making your back slamming into the stall door—and his reaction? he smirked.

you weren't sure if it was his first kiss, but since he never told you about his romantic life, you assumed it was. in fact, something tells you that the boy practiced his kissing skills on a mirror to try on you later on.

it was also your first kiss, so you couldn't judge.

your hand is now between the back of his neck and the back of his head, lightly pulling and playing with his hair.

everything was going well, so well it took you a few seconds to notice the hot tears falling down his cheeks.

"meguru, what's wrong?" your hand caressed his cheek. "are you ok? is something wrong?"

"i love you. i love you so much," he cries and rests his head on top of your chest. "thank you for being there for me."

"awn, i love you too." you played with his hair gently, fingers fixing the knots on his hair. "and i'll always be there to protect you."

"promise?"

"promise."

— ITOSHI SAE

itoshi sae wasn't the easiest person to put up with, which is why you were extremely confused when he first confessed to you and asked you on a date like it was nothing. still, in your five months of dating, you didn't regret anything. you loved him, he loved you.

however, there was something bothering you: you never kissed each other. but calm down, the issue wasn't exactly "he never kissed me"— the issue was that itoshi sae once told you he wanted your first kiss as a couple to be magnificent, magical and capable of leaving everyone's jaws on the floor. 

it made you wonder for weeks how the kiss would be. it made you wonder so much for so long you eventually thought he forgot about it.

boy were you wrong.

sae didn't lie when he said he wanted it to be magical and leave everyone's jaw on the floor. 

it happened at the end of one of his games, he scored the final goal and as soon the end of the match was announced, he ran towards you—you who were watching the whole time wearing his jersey, shouting his name—and kissed you slowly but passionately in front of everyone—his team, the opposite team, the fans, the cameras, everyone.

although your boyfriend always preferred a private relationship, he also wanted to show the world how much he could love someone. there was a bit of possessiveness on him.

there was a bit of possessiveness on him, as his lips left yours so they could kiss your neck, not caring how much it tickled you. 

he then kissed your cheek and left without saying anything; there wasn't anything to be said, but the media for sure will say a lot of things.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #sae fluff #itoshi sae fluff #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #isagi x reader #yoichi isagi x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi fluff #isagi yoichi fluff #bachira x reader #bachira meguru x reader #bachira fluff #meguru bachira x reader

[jackhues]

CLOWNS AND CARS - PADDOCK PASS, BABY [ PART FIVE ]

in which y/n hamilton might've accidently manifested her dad's dnf (australia 24)

[ prev ] | [ next ] | [ notes ] | [ masterlist ]

y/nhamilton

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 & others

y/nhamilton: "what did it cost you (to convince these two to step away from the track)?" "nothing (one of my dad's signed hats)"

tagged: kimi.antonelli, olliebearman

pinned y/nhamilton: guys i know the actual line is 'everything'. stop attacking me, i'm sensitive -> user: i just choked on my water -> y/nhamilton: are you okay? -> user: yeah i'm fine now!

pinned y/nhamilton: @/landonorris see how well MY bracelet would match with that fit -> landonorris: you mean mine? you're never getting it back just accept the fact -> y/nhamilton: never

pinned y/nhamilton: swipe to the end to see a wallaby sniff oliver -> kimi.antonelli: not pictured is oliver screaming very loud and running away -> olliebearman: i'm literally being bullied by two CHILDREN

user: omgg pretty 😍

user: ollie in the third slide is looking up the way y/n normally does when they talk -> y/nhamilton: i'm not short. he's built like a giraffe

user: omgg look at kimi with the koala -> y/nhamilton: that's not a koala. it's a mirror

user: queen hamilton making sure no one featured on her page gets an ego 🤩

logansargeant: invite? -> y/nhamilton: boy you were sleeping -> logansargeant: so THAT'S what all of those calls were for

carlossainz55: 🫎🫎 ->y/nhamilton: 🫏🫏 -> user: i have no idea what this means and i never will, but i look forward to carlos' comment EVERY time y/n posts

doriane_pin: pretty girl 😍 -> y/nhamilton: marry me 💍 -> doriane_pin: 👰👰👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 -> kimi.antonelli: what did i just see? -> y/nhamilton: congrats, you were a witness at our wedding!

--

--

y/nhamilton

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, olliebearman & others

y/nhamilton: last slide is me watching the aus gp if you even care

tagged: lewishamilton, valtteribottas, maxverstappen1

user: I CARE!

user: y/n hamilton back at it with the gp dumps

charles_leclerc: where are the podium pics? -> y/nhamilton: you put that filter on all of the ones you sent. it's not the vibe i'm going for today

logansargeant: are you still depressed about the uno cards? -> y/nhamilton: yes.

carlossainz55: 🏆🏆 -> y/nhamilton:🏅🏅

user: nahh you can't be clowning ferrari. that's your new home -> y/nhamilton: i've got a year

lewishamilton: well... at least i made the photo dump (?) -> y/nhamilton: TWICE

sebastianvettel: since when do you have a cat? -> y/nhamilton: it's a reaction meme seb. i don't have a cat

ausgp: we'll be back next year!!

---

TAGLIST: @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @somepeoplemaybe , @nothaqks , @theforevermorereject , @thatonesblog , @deviltsunoda , @xoscar03 , @mess-is-my-aesthetic , @d3kstar , @bwormie , @ietss , @sapphiccloud , @helaenatargaryensfavoritebug , @urfavsgf , @evie-119 , @raevyng , @khaylin27 , @champomiel <3

send a message/comment/ask to be added to the taglist!

NOTE: fifth part is heree! if you guys want to see something that already happened in prev seasons, send in an ask/comment! i meant to have this out earlier in the week, pretend it takes place before today! don't forget to like + reblog <3

#naqia's au's! #naqia writes! #paddock pass baby! au #lewis hamilton #sir lewis hamilton #dad!lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton!daughter #formula one racing #formula 1 #formula one #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x you #formula 1 fic #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x you #formula 1 social media au #formula 1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 smau #lewis hamilton social media au #lewis hamilton smau #ollie bearman #oliver bearman #kimi antonelli

[yourheartonfire]

"Hello! If you are receiving this, [medic] has missed their daily deadman switch check in. All client information will be released in 12 hours."

For a second villain stared dumbly at the text on her phone. Then she bolted from her desk towards the door. It was 10:17 - a taxi would be faster than the metro at this hour to get to midtown -

"Hey!" their coworker said, pulling out her airpods. "Where are you going?"

"Medical emergency," the villain snapped and slammed out the office door.

A precious 29 minutes later the villain arrived at the medic's apartment to find a motley gathering of capes and masks shuffling and looking suspiciously at each other in the hall. There was an air of a 2am fire drill - few supers operated on daylight hours, especially not the low to mid-powered supers the medic took on as clients, and the whole event had the awkward feel of meeting your neighbors in their pajamas.

The vigilante wore their normal black of course, but in the daylight the denim was faded and the jacket obviously cheap pleather. On the villainous side there was that grimy little clown themed duo in plain white face paint instead of their full make-up. For the heroes there was that kid goody-two-shoes try-hard - of course she'd rolled up in full uniform, minus the normal tracker camera the Hero Agency mounted on all its people now. And hero, the villain's nemesis, was there too, having jammed on the cowl and gloves over his t-shirt and jeans, just like villain had over her business clothes. He was standing in the doorway, and visibly sighed in relief as villain turned the corner.

"Oh thank God you're here," hero said and wasn't that terrifying that he had nothing flirty or snarky to say about villain's suit.

The goody-two-shoes did a double take. "Her?!" she snapped, even as she rocked her weight nervously from leg to leg. "You were waiting on her?"

"We sure weren't waiting on you to do something useful, cupcake," the female gremlin drawled from where she slouched against her partner on the hall floor, flicking her knife through her fingers.

"Yeah, didn't realize medic was a pediatrician too," the male gremlin giggled.

"Knock it off." The hero stepped aside, opened the door. "I kept them out, kept the scene clean for you."

The goody-two shoes groaned, buried her head in her hands. "This can't be happening."

"Quick, did someone bring a pacifier?" one of the gremlins stage whispered.

The vigilante pointedly stepped over the two clowns, forcing them to jerk backwards or take a combat boot to the face. "We're assuming this is about us," they breathed to the hero and villain. "What if they got hit by a bus? Dropped dead of a heart attack?"

"No reports from the hospitals or morgues of unidentified persons matching medic's description," Villain said curtly. "Checked on the way here. No communication to or amongst medic's friends and family about an emergency."

Goody-two-shoes blinked. "You... know [medic]'s real identity?"

"And that is why we were waiting on her," hero said patiently. "Now everyone shut up."

The villain curtly nodded acknowledgement, stepped into medic's apartment though it would not be necessary. The medic had disappeared from the street, at some point after they'd used their debit card to buy their usual black coffee at 7:04am and at some point before they'd failed to badge in at work by 8:15am. Still, the villain did a quick scan. The little homemade exam/treatment area had been freshly cleaned, the trash emptied. The tablet and laptop were missing from their docking station, but the go-bag was still in place under the desk.

"Y'all are gonna give me a minute with [medic] when we find them," the male gremlin drawled. "This 12 hour deadline is bullshit. They said we'd have 24 hours if they missed a check-in."

"You're not getting shit," the vigilante growled around the toothpick they were chomping.

"And they shortened the deadline because I told them to," villain said, breathing in the smell of antiseptic and bleach. She'd also told the medic to set the deadman switch to every 8 hours, not every 24, but the others didn't need to know that.

"You what?!" said the gremlins and the goody-two-shoes in unison. The vigilante choked. Even hero looked startled.

"I advised them to consider how long they could hold out under torture to reveal the abort protocol," said villain, using a tongue depressor to lift a latex glove from the kitchen trash. "I'd say medic was pretty generous. Speaking of generous, I've seen enough." She pointed to hero. "Last person you referred to medic and when?"

Hero tilted his head, realization blooming. "You," he said to villain. "Nine months ago."

One of the gremlins pointed to vigilante. "We did you! We did you last Arbor Day!"

Vigilante sighed and jabbed a thumb at goody-two-shoes. "The kid," they sighed. "I dunno when. Summer?"

The goody-two shoes swallowed. "Um," she said very quietly.

As one, the group turned to the kid. She froze, eyes going wide behind the mask. "It was - I didn't mean to!" she cried, backing up. "Just - he noticed the scar and realized it wasn't sanctioned medical care and I - and I - !"

"Okay, slow down," said hero gently, shooting a warning look to the gremlins who were both holding knives and on their feet now. "Who did you tell?"

The goody-two shoes' shoulders collapsed. She looked miserably at her toes. "Superhero. Yesterday."

Everyone flinched.

"You idiot," the vigilante breathed.

"We're going to kill you," the female gremlin said to the goody-two shoes. The male cracked his knuckles. The hero took a deep breath and pushed the goody-two-shoes behind him -

"Save that for 12 hours from now," villain said briskly and dropped the glove back in the trash. "We've got just under 11 hours to find where Superhero's got medic stashed and mount a rescue before our identities and medical records are splashed all over the internet. And frankly, I think it's going to take every single one of us to meet that deadline."

The six of them looked at each other in the shadows of the hall. The hero mustered a grin. "That's why we're all here, right?" he said. "Instead of hiding or running. Medic's saved all of us- now we save them."

"They didn't save me, I wasn't dying," one of the gremlins muttered. But no one walked away.

"Right," said villain. "Let's do this."

#my fiction #hero x villain #hero and villain #medic #awkward team dynamics #love a heroic/villainous team up #evil hero #100 #300 #500 #1000 (!) #...5000 ?!?

[garoujo]

YOU CALL THEM BY THEIR FULL NAME — BLUE LOCK

feat : nagi seishiro, itoshi sae, itoshi rin, bachira meguru + mikage reo.

♱ warnings — sfw! no warnings, just some very confused boys ! / note. i am back w some more sfw hcs 4 these boys, these are half proofread so pls forgive me >.<

・✶ ｡ﾟNAGI SEISHIRO

it’s steady, the rise and fall of nagi’s back as he naps — huge body dropped on top of yours as he nuzzles into your chest with his arms tight around your waist. your fingers are carding through the messy mop of snowy hair on his head and you know the moment you stop, he’ll wake up with a long, low whine as he tries to nudge you into continuing.

but you were feeling particularly restless and tracing your sleepy boyfriends pretty features wasn’t quite cutting it anymore. your movements on his scalp stop just as you clear your throat to speak, nudging him on top of you as you readjust yourself on the mattress.

“wake up, nagi seishiro.” you call, carefully neutral and you swear you feel nagi stiffen slightly on top of you despite the way his body moves drowsily. he doesn’t offer much, grumbles under his breath a scratchy “don’t wanna” before he’s squeezing his arms around you and he’s trying to push himself even closer, pressing himself into the crook of your neck with a sigh.

“hello? nagi seishiro?” he whines before he’s nuzzling closer, smearing his lips along your skin like it’ll ease whatever he’s done wrong but he still squeezes you just as tight — eyes still resting closed when he finally speaks.

“whaaaat? don’t be mad, please.. ‘m sleeping.” nagi hums despite how quiet his voice sounds, still laced with sleep before it’s followed by another wet kiss along the dip of your shoulder. “you can’t sneak attack me that’s no fair, angel. my guards down.. and y’re so warm.”

he’s so cute when he’s sleepy that you can’t help but let yourself hug him closer, giggling when he blindly reaches for your hand to try and place it on top of his head — wordlessly urging you to continue your earlier movements as he shakes it through his hair. “you’re such a baby, seishiro.”

“eh? but i thought you liked playin’ with my hair, feels soooo good~”

・✶ ｡ﾟITOSHI SAE

you were curious to how sae would react to this, you don’t think you’d ever used his full name and he was still a little hard to read at times despite how long you’d been together, his expression carefully neutral despite the thoughts going on in his head.

you wait for him to come home from training, his face nuzzled into his jacket as his gym bag rests across his chest — you don’t meet him in the hallway like you normally would and he notices that. so instead, he’s quick to meet you in the kitchen — sharp gaze cutting through you from the doorway.

“itoshi sae.” you huff as you keep your features trained on your phone infront of you, but a quick side eye towards your boyfriend lets you see the way one of sae’s brows raise at the sound of his full name coming from your lips. but it still draws his closer, although he remains wordless until he stands across from you.

you can’t help but turn to meet him, his presence always seemed to draw you in like that and you’re surprised at the way his fingers immediately come to rest underneath your chin — tilting your face up so he can meet your gaze.

the look sae gives you is sharp, concerned in a way that makes electricity shoot through your spine but his voice is soft when it sounds. “what is it?” he asks earnestly but it’s almost like he’s examining your features, fingers gently smoothing along your jawline like he’s soothing out whatever irritation he fears lies somewhere in your expression.

it’s too easy, the way you give into him and maybe it’s the look he’s giving you — a whisper of a frown resting on his features because he likes the way his given name sounds from your lips, so where is it? “welcome home, sae.” hearing him sigh at your next words and relax when your hands smooth up his chest.

“what was that about, hm? aren’t you gonna welcome me home?”

・✶ ｡ﾟITOSHI RIN

you’re both in the kitchen while rin mixes up his protein shake after his workout, sending you a gentle sort of look from across the room as you busy yourself with a few random things. the silence is comfortable, your playlist playing softly in the background but you’re swallowing down your own smile at the thought of what’s coming.

“can i help you, itoshi rin?” you drawl and you swear you watch him freeze at the name as his eyes widen, protein shake pausing in his hold before his lips are twisting into a subtle little, tight lipped pout.

“why’d you use that?” rin’s reply is fast, like a reflex before he’s turning away to pretend something on the counter is suddenly oh so interesting. he can’t deny the way he suddenly finds himself missing the dumb little nicknames youd always use for him, fuck— he’d even take just rin, even though he kind of likes rinny, not that he’d ever admit that. so instead he’ll tiptoe around the topic as best he can.

“what? your name?” you’re pretty sure you see a vein pop in rin’s forehead at that reply as he jolts, trying not to let you see the way you’re riling him up so easily. it’s charming how awkward he’s being, not wanting to openly ask you why you’re using that now but it’s obvious in the way he’s fiddling around with anything he can get his hands on.

“eh— no. tsk, you know what i mean.” if you were to look close enough you’d see the frown that’s placed itself on rin’s features as he casts you a few side glances — watching the way you move closer to him as he clears his throat.

“awww, do you miss me calling you rinny?” you giggle, tease as you latch yourself around his waist and rin‘s twisting away from you in the hopes you won’t see the pretty blush that’s blooming along his cheeks, his jaw clenched as he grumbles under his breath. but you still notice how he’s not even trying to get away from your touch as his pout muffles his next words — seemingly irritated but more flustered than anything.

“shutup, so what if do..”

・✶ ｡ﾟBACHIRA MEGURU

you want to laugh at the way bachira’s got himself sprawled along the length of the couch, trying so hard to grab and pull you on top of him everytime you come within his reach. “babyyyyy, jus’ wanna cuddle a lil — swear i’ll let you go after, m’kay? come onnnn~” you know that’s a lie and if he actually succeeds in pulling you there, there’s no way you’ll leave.

he swipes at you again with a sly smirk when you turn away, urging you to smack playfully at his hand before a tight lipped pout accompanies the puppy dog eyes he sends you. “bachira meguru!” you swear he whines at that one, flopping down onto the cushions as he buries his face in the inside of his elbow.

“so meannn~ don’t be bad, i’ll get sad mhm.” you could roll your eyes at the whimpery, deliberately exaggerated tone bachira’s voice takes, but you can see the way he’s peeking out at you — trying so hard to stifle the smug look on his face when it makes you turn to him anyway.

“i’m almost done, just wait a little longer.” you try to reason with him, mirroring the pout on his lips as you cross your arms and look down at him. but he was never gonna be that easy to control, you knew him.

“call me baby again and i’ll wait, m’kay?” you can hear the way bachira’s smirking with his little request, making you sigh despite the way a grin tries to twitch at the corners of your lips. so you humour him because he’s always been convincing, amber gaze narrowed when he peaks out to look at you when you say almost done, baby in a sickly sweet little tone that drops your guard.

that’s when he grabs you, using his athletic instincts to quickly reach forward and pull you into him — laughing when you fall onto his chest with a huff and feel his arms wrap like a vice right around you so you stay there.

“nope, got you now.. mhm, no way you’re getting away ~”

・✶ ｡ﾟMIKAGE REO

you meet reo in the hallway, like you always do after training with a little spring in your step but this time you stop just short of him, watch the way his brows furrow despite the way a smirk still rests on his lips. but he still reaches for you, breathing out a laugh as he slips off his shoes before resting down his gym bag.

“miss me, bunny?” his voice lulls to a tease as he takes a careful step into your space, his arm reaching out to bring you into his before you finally answer.

“mikage reo.” you try your best to sound carefully neutral but something aches when you watch the way reo’s smile seems to drop a little at the sides, you’ve never called him that afterall — it was just reo, maybe something sweeter, but he always thought everything that came from your lips was. so why now?

“huh? what’s that all about?” he mumbles when he pulls back to look at you — there’s a slight hesitation in his touch, his palm resting just above your waist as he tilts his head, raising a brow like a wordless little inquiry.

“hey.” there’s something heavy in reo’s tone this time as he looks over you, and you almost feel bad at the expression that lies behind the one he shows you. but he’s still gentle when he finally reaches for you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before he’s pulling you against his chest — soothing, when his fingers trace the length of your spine, just incase.

“you’re not going anywhere.. right? so we’ve got all night, bunny. you wanna talk?” the way his voice wavers is enough to have your resolve breaking, sending him a sweet smile that makes him exhale a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding. but it’s fast when he leans into kiss you, pouring his relief into the way his lips move with yours before he speaks against you.

“wow you really got me. i won’t seek revenge if you make it up to me. yeah?”

© 2022 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

#݁ . ࿓ : sealed #blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #bllk x you #nagi x reader #nagi fluff #mikage reo x reader #reo fluff #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae fluff #bachira x reader #bachira fluff

[tiktaaliker]

ok ok ok I am still SOOOOO fucking mad that return and frustration were both removed in sword/shield. like u are really doing the buneary line SO dirty with that move.

buneary is the ONLY non legendary Pokemon that starts out with 0 friendship. this rabbit hates your fucking guts. but also??? it's the only pokemon that naturally learns frustration by leveling. so pretty early on (lvl 13) you get this ABSURDLY powerful STAB move, but the more you battle with it the more friendly the buneary gets, which means the move slowly gets WORSE. and ON TOP OF THAT, buneary evolves to lopunny with high friendship. so this move slowly changes from their best move by far to their worst, and then they evolve.

AND THEN. LOPUNNY IS THE ONLY POKEMON TO NATURALLY LEARN RETURN BY LEVELING.

and like I cannot properly express how fucking cool that is!!! like I fucking LOVE buneary for that but now that return and frustration are gone what's the fucking POINT. yeah this rabbit hates my guts but for WHAT

and then it's like. you are completely losing all of these possible character moments. yeah we have ghetsis and the full power frustration but ANY combo could have such neat implications for a villain or just any npc. full power return means that they really DO care a ton about their pokemon!!! min power return to show that they might want to put on the facade that they care about their pokemon but they don't. min power frustration to show that they're trying to look tough and like they don't care but even then their pokemon REALLY care about their trainer. but NOPE we can't have nice things anymore I guess

#howling #pkmn #honestly tho. I'm still pissed that they removed a lot of these moves AT ALL #like fucking. bide. #and bubble and chip away and dizzy punch and double slap #and feint attack and flame burst and foresight and constrict and embargo and rage #and me first and snatch and TRUMP CARD. I FUCKING LOVED TRUMP CARD #AND PURSUIT THEY REMOVED PURSUIT #but im mostly pissed that they removed SO many cool gimmick moves including SO many cool normal type moves #and all the shit that are pretty much only useful with specific builds #like ion deluge and rototiller. SO pissed about rototiller will never stop being mad about rototiller #ugh. it also doesnt help that ive been playing thru black again and like there are SO many moves on my main party that dont exist anymore #im just like. man. why did they do this.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Nine: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, nude vids/pics, rape mentioned (somnophilia), gen. sexual content, Panic/Anxiety Attack, forced nudity [Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin/Ghost having thoughts?? Unselfish ones?? Luke can’t stop roasting/sassing you [diary entries from Ani] [texting/letters/notes]extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: August 10th

I think enough time has passed. I think you’re ready to see Ghost again.

I thought it would take longer for you to recover, but as always, the little fawn in you is curious as ever. Quick to forget fear and ready for the newest challenge.

You’ve responded so well to everything. I’m very proud of you.

I’ve been keeping up with my visits, still cleaning, still watching, still following and protecting.

Now that you know of Ghost, I’ve started completing my tasks. I don’t have to leave anything halfway finished, the dishes are done everyday along with the vacuuming and dusting. I even mop twice a week.

And change the cat litter, which might I add, is disgusting. (Worth it though because I love that little menace.)

I thought for sure you’d run and tell me that you didn’t think the alarms I installed weren’t working, but you didn’t, you just repeatedly tested them yourself. It was very loud, very annoying and I know you could hear the woman down the hall banging her pots and pans together to fight back with her own noise. You didn’t care though, you just wanted to make sure the alarms worked.

They do work, I wouldn’t have installed fake ones, that would be stupid. I’m all for keeping you safe so… what’s one more safety measure?

I just know that they can also be very easily disarmed. Even through the inch and a half thick wooden door to your apartment. A piece of sheet metal (credit card sized) and my handy dandy super strength magnet works like a charm.

You’re such an odd bird. You haven’t told anyone, I don’t think it’s really even crossed your mind too much either. You’ve begun to pretend the cameras aren’t even there. You just go about your normal day to day life and occasionally squint and stare at random objects.

You never actually go check them out though. Is it all for show? I think it might be.

I think you like being watched. I bet it makes you feel safe doesn’t it? Knowing I’m always there for you?

——————————————————————————

You know what the best part of all this is?

Ghost will let me love you in the way that is natural and normal to me. I just hope that you’ll be willing to accept that we are one in the same.

Ghost can comfortably do all the things that I’ve been afraid to. I didn’t want to scare you, but it really was difficult not to leave you things. I’m so glad that you brought that up in your list of questions because it gave me the opportunity to act on it without you flipping out.

Do you like them? I love leaving things for you. Especially little notes.

Ghost has been kind enough to stay out of your way when I’m around, but I can resist making you squirm occasionally. Remember when I left you a note, KNOWING I’d be coming home with you later that day?

Oh babe. It was so oddly intoxicating to see the way you reacted when I got back home and pulled up the footage. You snatched up that slip of paper didn’t read it and didn’t toss it in the trash, didn’t put it in your pocket.

You shoved it in your mouth so I wouldn’t see it. Freak.

I saw it all chewed up and gross in the bathroom trash. You didn’t read it. I know you didn’t. So I’ll have to get alittle more creative.

Don’t ignore me.

DATE

August 13th

For the third morning in a row you woke up to a text from your own cellphone number.

‘Sleep well deer?’

Idiot. Can’t even spell. So finally on this third day, you sent a text back and corrected him.

‘Dear*’

Immediately a response buzzed through.

‘No.’

No? What does he mean no?

‘Little doe. My deer. 🦌’

Oh great, so stalkers use emojis and he’s given you a nickname. How cute.

You laid back in your bed and tossed your phone aside, hands covering your face as you rubbed the sleep away.

The longer this went on, the more insane you felt. This wasn’t normal, of course it’s not normal. So why are you allowing it?

You could ask yourself that a million times and you’d never find an answer.

You could throw away every flower he brought you and they’d still keep coming. You could burn every piece of paper in the city and chew every pen until it’s broken beyond repair and he would still find a way to write you a note.

You could swallow every word he writes, throw it up, flush it, whatever. It’s just going to pop back up. Gross and soggy with an amendment attached and in your panty drawer.

You thought maybe it was an important one. So you read it. Quickly discovered it was semi-important, Ghost just wanted to remind you that he loved you and he was proud of you for continuing to drink your tea even though you knew it was drugged. Once you’re out of it, he’s going to set the pills out next to your birth control. So he ‘doesn’t have to fool with measurements anymore’.

The addendum to the note was tucked inside the original:

‘Good girls swallow.’

You could ignore the trinkets, the jewelry or the pretty stones and shells. But he would just move them to a different spot and force you to eventually set it in your jewelry box along with all the others.

He’s not been bold enough to come around with Anakin in your home. The nights that Anakin sleeps over, there are no gifts, no cleaning done. No disturbances.

But Anakin doesn’t deter him completely.

He’s left you one note at Anakin’s apartment, the first time you’d slept away from your own home in ages. Ghost had the audacity to slip a note into the pocket of your shorts while you slept in the same bed as Anakin in his apartment.

It didn’t say anything, no words, just a heart in red ink. Like he just wanted to remind you that he was there and you were his whether you wanted to be or not. Anakin or no Anakin, Ghost didn’t care.

It’s been horrible lying… omitting the truth to Anakin. Sometimes you feel like blurting it out, but something always stops you. Morbid curiosity maybe. Or maybe you just like the thrill of it, that little shiver of adrenaline you get every time he makes himself known.

It would all stop if you told Anakin. Neither would quit until he’d hunted the other man down and gotten rid of him.

They’d kill each other.

——————————————————————————

Anakin worked tonight, so you had plans to meet up with Luke (sans his pet leech) for a late evening dinner. As much as you loved Han and appreciated everything he did for Luke, how happy he made him, you really just wanted some time alone with your best friend.

So you were thrilled to receive a text around 1:00pm from Luke:

‘Don’t be late. I’m dying to catch up babe.’

You quickly opened the message but before you finished typing, a voice message popped up in your notifications, sent from your number.

You abandoned the chat with Luke and opted to open the voice message instead.

‘I’m coming home.’ then a long pause, ‘have fun with Lukey.’

That scratchy filtered voice; you’d yet to hear it over the phone and this being the first time… it sent you right back to the very first time you watched Scream. That icy chill that snuck up the back of your neck, the tightening of your chest… you felt it now, just not because of fear.

You felt it because you were excited.

——————————————————————————

“Okay, seriously what do you keep looking at?” Luke prodded, snatching your phone and sliding it into his jacket pocket.

“Nothing it’s just-“

“My phone is on ‘do no disturb’, because I have missed my buddy, my pal, my best friend.” He paused, his pointer finger jabbing the table between your plate and his.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I haven’t even unlocked it! It’s just sitting there.”

“True, but the obnoxious tapping to check whatever it is you’re hoping for is getting annoying.” Honesty, brutal or not, was Luke’s love language.

“Fine. I’m sorry, I’ll put it in my pocket.” You agreed, holding your hand out palm up.

“No ma’am. This is mine until the check comes.” His answer was definitive, no room for argument there. “What’s so important anyway? I know Anakin is at work.”

“It’s just work stuff.” You huffed.

“Oh? What’s so pressing at the diner?” He scoffed, “got a big shipment of ketchup coming in? Are you ‘on call’?”

“Luke.” You rolled your eyes at his jab. “No and yes. I am ‘on call’ actually. Sara’s son has been sick.’

Not a total lie, he has been sick. Poor guy. But her husband was home with him and he was being well looked after.

“Okay? That’s your problem how?”

“God you’re so negative sometimes.” You sighed. “Her babysitter hates vomit. If he throws up Sara will have to go home.”

“Ew.” He scrunched up his nose. “I’m eating.”

“Okay? That’s my problem how?” You said mockingly.

“Really? Like for real that’s why you keep checking your phone?”

“Yes really.” Giving him a look that screamed duh’. “Her baby sitter is the 14 year old girl that lives next door to her. Do you really suggest leaving a 14 year old in charge of a vomiting 2 year old? When that 14 year old is disgusted by puke? That’s a recipe for disaster.”

It would be a disaster, her sitter is 14. She just happens to be on vacation with her mother right now. Hence the temporary stay at home husband.

“Okay, first of all, 14? Isn’t that alittle young?”

“No? I started babysitting when I was 12.” You shrugged.

“Fine.” Luke sighed. “Here.”

He slid your phone back to you and propped his chin up on his fist. Watching you check it one last time before turning on the sound and putting it in your back pocket.

——————————————————————————

‘I’m walking home now!’

You shot off the text to Anakin after saying your goodbye to Luke at the restaurant. You’d refused his offer to walk you home, you didn’t want him anywhere near your apartment building knowing that Ghost would be there.

Six minutes later he replied:

‘Good girl.🥰 let me know when you get there safe.’

‘Will do💕’

And you did, the moment you stood outside your apartment door.

‘Made it! See you tomorrow💕’

You waited in the hall to receive his response. You didn’t know what would be waiting for you on the other side of this door, and you didn’t want to chance it.

‘Perfect. Sweet dreams doll!’

Your hand poised at the door knob, you inserted your key to discover your door was already unlocked. You very slowly opened the door, but saw no one in your kitchen or living room.

But your bedroom door was closed, boogie hadn’t meowed as loudly as possible and sprinted to you, demanding to be fed. He did say that they were good friends. So they both must be in your room.

Would it be wise to lock your door? The few precious seconds leaving it unlocked would save if you needed to run… no, no. Just lock it. Doorknob. Deadbolt. Chain.

‘Just stay calm’

You kicked off your shoes and tossed your bag to the floor, walking quietly across the carpeted living room to pause in front of your bedroom. A soft yellow glow shone beneath the door, your lamp must be on. You could hear your tv playing something, not quite sure what it was, but it had the all too familiar cadence of a horror flick.

The audacity of this man astounded you.

When you pushed open the door, he was laying in your bed, shoes off, legs crossed at the ankles, propped against the headboard, arms behind his head. He looked like he belonged there. As big a contrast as it was… your soft, pink, feminine room and him. All black, the mask. He just looked so comfortable.

Your cat, the little traitor, was curled up on his chest. It was kind of sweet. How could such an inherently terrifying scenario seem so normal?

Ever so casually he tilted his head toward you, his right hand raising from its relaxed position to lazily give you gloved finger waggle for a wave.

“Have fun?” The filtered voice drifted over to you.

“Yes.” You answered quietly, glued to the spot.

“Are you just going to stand there?” He laughed. “I would come pick you up, but it’s illegal to move a sleeping cat.” He gestured to boogie who had still not moved from her human pillow.

You couldn’t help but laugh, eyebrows raised in an expression of awe filled shock. This was too weird. Too normal. Too scarily alluring.

Yet you found yourself at the edge of the bed, not really knowing how you got there to begin with.

“Sat you some pajamas out.” He said dismissively, the mask fixed onto the tv screen. “Figured you’d wanna change.”

“Huh.” You snorted, seeing that he had.

You expected to see one of your lacy lingerie sets. But he’d chosen something much more modest that you would’ve ever imagined. Loose, thin, stretchy fabric pajama pants, the matching cropped tank top, and fuzzy socks.

“Um. Thanks?” You said awkwardly, picking them up and turning on your heels to change in the bathroom.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He chuckled.

“To the bathroom?” You scoffed, looking over your shoulder at him.

“You can change in here.” He wasn’t offering. He was telling you.

“No way.” You shook your head. “No I’m not-“

“C’mon little doe.” The filtered voice left little room for change in tone, but you could tell from his body language that it was a challenge.

“Ghost. No! I have Anakin I don’t-.”

He laughed. “I don’t care.”

“Well I do.”

“Mmm… not enough. You’re letting me be here. You didn’t tell him. You didn’t mention me to anyone at all actually.” He pointed out.

“Well that’s not-“

“Hush.” He snapped, making you stall. “I’ve seen that pretty little body of yours plenty of times. What’s one more?”

“But-“ your face was so red hot that you could feel the heat spreading down your neck.

“What? I’m not gonna get up.” He said plainly. “I’m comfy right here where I can watch you.”

“I don’t… this isn’t right.”

“Don’t pull that bullshit with me.” He scoffed. “Nothing about this is ‘right’. But you’re letting it happen, yeah?” He said and got just a nod from you in response.

“That’s it.” He moved his arm to point two fingers at you, “get on with it sweetheart. I wanna see my girl.”

“I’m not your-“

“You were mine first.” He snapped.

“Well, that’s not very fair.” Your voice shaking. “I didn’t even know you were…. I didn’t know about you!”

“That might be true.” He growled, “but it’s your fault for being so ignorant.”

“I-I don’t…” you felt like you were on the verge of a tantrum. This man was outrageous, coming into your home uninvited, being a fucking perv, acting like he owns the place, and now he’s calling you ignorant?

“Do you realize how stupid it is for you to argue with me about the morality of all this?” He asked, going back to his former relaxed state.

“You. Are allowing me to be here. You had all day to call the cops if you wanted to. But you didn’t.” That smug little bastard laughed. “I’ve been here for over two hours. You knew I’d be here when you got back.”

“That’s not-“

“I’m not finished.” He held up a finger and silenced you. “You’re mine. You’ve been mine and you will continue to be mine.”

“I don’t care that you are pretending to be appalled by the situation you are in.” His voice was even and unyielding, he was so confident in his statements.

“You know why I don’t care?” He asked, tilting his head toward you condescension oozing from every pore.

“Why?” You squeaked.

“Because I know, without a doubt, that if I were to stick my hand down your pretty pink panties; you’d be wet right now.”

How did he know what color your underwear is? Better question: why is that the first thing you thought of when there were much more pressing matters at hand?

“That’s not true.” Your voice sounded hollow.

“It’s not?” He laughed. “Show me then.”

“What?” You whispered, eyes bugging out of your head.

“Do it. Prove to me that you’re not soaked.” He snickered.

“That’s not fair you can’t just-“

“You’re not running are you? You haven’t said no, you haven’t come over here and smacked me.” He interrupted.

You stood there with your jaw dropped, you needed a dustpan and broom to sweep up your shattered facade of denial. How could you dispute that?

“Fine!” You shouted. “Fine. I’ll just change in here.”

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” He growled. “You’re awfully bold for a spoiled brat.”

“I am not a-“

“When will you stop disagreeing with me?” He laughed. “You know it’s true. I’ve spoiled you so much that you’ve rotted to your core. You weren’t always a brat, but you are now. You like being spoiled don’t you? Being taken care of, being treated like a princess?”

“Your little boyfriend does the same thing doesn’t he?” He snickered. “Spoiled. Brat.”

“You’re just a little girl who needs a man to hold her hand.”

“You’re being mean.” You whispered, your voice breaking.

“The truth is hard to hear isn’t it little doe?” He said, his voice going back to its nonchalant, flat tone.

You couldn’t argue. He’d been right about everything and it’s difficult to argue with someone who throws fact after fact at you like he’s doing. So you took a deep breath and closed your bedroom door.

“Atta girl.” He nodded. “Show me.”

So you did, you turned around and began undressing, you could feel his eyes on you, soaking up the display you were crafting for him.

“Turn around.” His voice alittle quieter, the voice box crackling.

Slowly you complied, swallowing your fear and embarrassment. You kept your eyes closed, it made you feel the slightest bit better, I’m the way a kid would think ‘I can’t see you so you can’t see me’.

“Gorgeous.” He breathed out.

Behind your eyelids you swear you noticed a change in lighting, briefly, but enough to take note of. Your eyes snapped open and saw him holding up his phone.

He’d taken a picture of you.

“Ghost, no! Delete that right now!” You squealed, quickly getting dressed in your fresh pajamas.

“Cool it.” He waved you off. “Just gonna add it to my special folder just for you. See?” He turned his screen toward you and you inched forward.

He wasn’t lying. He scrolled through over one hundred images and videos, some of you in public, some nude, some of you sleeping. All in a folder titled ‘little doe’.

“These are for me.” He said simply. “They’re not going anywhere so don’t worry about that.”

“But these…” he turned the screen back to himself and tapped twice, scrolled and then tapped again before flipping it around.

The images in front of you made you nauseous.

You, spread legs and wet cunt, up close.

You with your hand being held up by Ghost, your fingers buried deeply between your folds.

A short video of your pussy being lovingly stroking by a leather glove. Another of one long digit pumping into you slowly.

A picture of your lips wrapped around his cock.

“S-so you did… you did touch me?” You recoiled.

“No.” He said flatly, before you could protest he laughed.

“You loved it.” He snickered. “Never let you cum. I wanted you to be needy for me.”

“Until… until I saw you.” You whispered.

“Mhm, that’s right.” He nodded. “Took care of your poor swollen pussy properly that time.” He cooed, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“You’re sick.” You breathed out. “That’s disgusting… you-“

“Call the cops.” He said gesturing to your phone laying on the bed.

“What?”

“You heard me. Call ‘em.” He snorted. “If I’m so sick and disgusting and you’re soooo horrified by my actions; call the cops. I’ll wait right here.”

“Are you gonna send those to Anakin?” Your voice wobbled as you ignored his challenge. You both knew you wouldn’t call.

“Not if you’re good.”

“Are you gonna hurt him?” You asked quietly.

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” He scoffed. “I want you all to myself, but I want you to choose me. I’m not gonna go all Dexter on your boyfriend.”

“You promise?” You sniffled. “Swear it?”

“Pinky swear.” He said confidently, holding out his hand with his little finger raised.

For some reason you took it. You believed him. He hadn’t gotten up and forced you to do anything, he stayed right there the whole time. He had yet to share those pictures with Anakin. A million other twisted reasons you’d started to accept that this was becoming a new normal. A thousand other things that pushed you to believe him.

He’d only bruised your self image with his cold, hard truths about you. That’s not a crime. That’s a reality check.

“Good choice little doe!” You could practically hear the beaming smile on his face behind the plastic mask.

“Now come up here.” He patted the spot next to him. “I don’t like seeing you upset, I’m sorry.”

He was apologizing? He was apologizing.

“You’re sorry?” You repeated in shock.

“Of course I’m sorry. You’re on the verge of tears and I’ve caused it.” He said, holding out his hand palm up for you to take.

“I’m not a monster.”

You hesitated before accepting his hand and climbing into bed beside him. You sat a safe distance from him at first but he lolled his head to the side in what you assumed was a dramatic eye roll and tugged you to his side in a one armed swoop.

The action had you frozen. This was it. He was gonna hurt you. You’d been naive and stupid and he was going to violate you, this time while you were conscious, you’d remember it this time.

“Relax.” He soothed, tucking you comfortably against his side, his bicep behind your head as a pillow and his gloved hand on your side in a way that was almost comforting. “I mean it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You whispered, what the fuck is happening?

“No, it’s not okay. I could’ve been more gentle with my words.” His opposite hand rubbing his knuckles across your cheek lovingly.

You were quiet for a moment, debating on the course of action you should take. You were in fact very much allowing this to occur. Would it be so horrible to try and enjoy it? He was warm. He smelled nice and familiar, the cologne… you must have a subtle memory of it from all the times he’d been here while you slept. He was comfortable. He was surprisingly kind.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“Before you get comfy.” He spoke quietly, the voice box crackling from his low voice, “you didn’t take your pill.”

“Oh yeah you’re right.” You moved to get up, pink cheeked because once again he proved that you were in fact helpless without him.

“Don’t get up, I have it right here.” He chuckled, reaching over to the nightstand and handing you the pill packet and a thermos. “Tea.”

“Huh.” You stared at him. Gods this was so fucking weird. “Well… wow okay.” You huffed out a laugh and took your medicine with a sip of your tea.

“Tastes different.” You said, handing the packet back to him.

“Mhm. Yeah I poisoned it.” He said nonchalantly, making you almost choked on your second sip.

“You what?” You shrieked, waking up the cat who bolted from his lap.

“Aw look what you did,” he groaned gesturing to the empty space with a few stray cat hairs.

“You- are you serious?” You started to almost hyperventilate. “Should I make myself throw up?”

Why are you asked the man who poisoned you that? Like he’d tell you.

“No, that would be a waste of good tea.” He snorted. “I put cinnamon in it you idiot.”

“What?”

“Cinnamon.” He repeated. “It’s just cinnamon. It was a joke.”

“That’s not fucking funny!” You shouted, smacking his shoulder.

“Ive already told you once.” His hand shot out and grabbed your jaw firmly. “Do not. Raise. Your voice. At me.” He growled.

“I believe you meant to say ‘ha-ha, ghost that was funny. you got me!’” He snickered and released your jaw, soothing you with his hand now gently raking through your hair.

You were stunned. Absolutely shook by his quick turnaround, this should be terrifying. This man can be so gentle one moment and the next he’s speaking to you like he’s ordering you to lay down at the guillotine. It wasn’t terrifying in the right way. Not the type of fear you should be feeling at his unpredictable actions.

You weren’t scared of him at all. But yourself? Yes. Who is this girl? Why is she… why do you like this? It’s scary because you’re not scared. It’s horrifying because you want more. It’s terrifying because you’re morbidly curious about what he’d do if you acted out again.

You shook your head and picked your jaw off the floor, deciding the best course of action was to just tuck yourself back under his arm and watch whatever movie he had paused when you entered the room.

Might as well. You’ve already come this far.

Date

August 14th

When you woke up the next morning Ghost was gone. Your home was devoid of any trace of him, no note, no gift, no messages. Nothing.

He had hardly moved while you sat with him, the only consistent movement was the gentle twist and twirl of one long lock of your hair around his finger. It was repetitive and soothing, just like the calming rise and fall of his chest.

How could he be so calm? So off guard?

You could’ve turned on him at any moment. Ripped off his mask and saw who he was, grabbed your lamp and wacked him with it. Punched him in the nuts and ran.

But, to be fair, he could’ve done the same to you. Yet you stayed there, albeit anxious and on high alert for majority of the time spent with him. Despite the fact that you knew he carried a weapon, even though you were well aware of what he’d been doing to you all this time, even after he’d manhandled your face when you smarted off to him.

It must be a twisted form of mutual trust.

Or you might just be delusional.

Either way, it was wrong and you knew that. You intentionally got naked in front of another man, while he laid on the bed your boyfriend so sweetly makes love to you in. You fell asleep in the arms of this man. Not just *any* other man, the one who has been stalking you relentlessly for months.

You’ve cheated on Anakin. If he knew, it would crush him. It would break apart his big, soft, velveteen heart. Your betrayal would rip a hole right through the middle and slice up the fabric so badly it couldn’t be sewn back up without ending up smaller, weaker, and deformed.

What could you do? Was there anything to do? Telling him to his face… the thought of it soured your stomach so badly you thought you might form an ulcer.

Telling Ghost to fuck off and leave you alone wasn’t an option either. No matter what you did, the precautions you put in place; he would find you. Not only would he find you, but he wouldn’t allow Anakin the privilege of breathing anymore.

You couldn’t tell Luke. He’d lecture you until your ears bled while he dragged you to the nearest police station. Then Luke would be in danger, Anakin would know, and Ghost would still be your problem. And if Luke didn’t believe you, he’d ship you off to the long term care loony bin.

Your sister? Of course you couldn’t tell her either. She has her own family. Ghost already knows where she lives, he’s told you so.

He knows everything about you. Your family tree, your friends list, your schedule, your medical information, banking account, he has complete access to your home, your phone…

You are a canary in a cage and he is a cat pawing at you through the metal bars.

It’s only a matter of time before one of those claws nicks you. A feather or two might come loose, open up a weak spot on your frail body. The next swipe might draw blood, maybe it won’t. Or maybe he’ll be lucky enough to bat you to the bottom of the cage.

It’s hard enough to escape when there’s someone always watching. When there’s a lock on the door. But to attempt to flee with broken wings? You couldn’t hobble your way to safety anyway. Bird cages don’t have doors at the bottom, they’re halfway up. They don’t have horizontal bars. You can’t climb.

You are stuck.

It’s up to you if you want to be trapped there intact, or if you’d rather wallow at the bottom in pain.

——————————————————————————

Maybe you should just break up with Anakin.

Ghost said he wouldn’t hurt him, but how long will that last? How long until he gets tired of waiting? Should you ask Ghost again? Just to make sure? Make him sign a fucking contract?

Maybe it would be best if-

“Sweetheart?” Anakin whispered softly, waving his hand in front of your face. “What’s going on? I’ve been standing here for almost a minute.”

Anakin was here.

“What?” You whispered back, suddenly overwhelmingly aware of your surroundings.

The diner. You were at The Bluebird. You were working. A glance to the clock told you that you’d been here for over two hours, a quick scan of the tables and the counter proved that you hadn’t neglected any customers. Your notepad and pen were in your hand, there was money in the tip jar.

Anakin was here.

“Hey, c’mere.” His voice soft and concerned.

He gently took the pad and pen from your hands, put an arm around your shoulder and held your hand as he led you through the kitchen. Not an uncommon occurrence, Anakin was well known to everyone at the Bluebird due to his frequent visits to see you. He often walked with you out through the kitchen to sit on the curb with you while you took a break and he smoked a cigarette.

“Vigo, I’m taking her out back.” He said quietly, speaking to the dishwasher.

“I was about to call you man.” He spoke back in a hushed voice. “She’s been actin’ like that since she got here.”

“Yeah? Well next time don’t wait to call.” Anakin grumbled, scowling at your coworker.

The heat of the afternoon sun soothed over your skin, making you painfully aware of the cold sweat lacing the back of your neck. You blinked and it felt like it was the first time you’d closed your eyes in hours. Your mouth was dry, your teeth felt cold and your brain might’ve been better described as soup.

Anakin sat down on the curb and pulled you down with him. Placing you sideways between his legs, your arms immediately threw themselves around his neck and you curled up into him.

“Jesus baby.” He whispered, the wind getting knocked out of him at your aggressive tackle.

“An-” You started to sob before you even finished his name.

“W-what’s wrong?” You could feel his heart beat quicken beneath you, hear it pounding in his chest. He was feeling real, true panic.

“Hey, hey talk to me. Breathe.” He tried to soothe you by petting your hair, rocking you gently, kissing your forehead… anything, anything he could think of and nothing was working.

You were sobbing so loudly that Anakin was glad there wasn’t a back parking lot. If someone wanted to see where this horrible wailing was coming from they’d have to walk all the way around back, thankfully most people didn’t care enough to do such a thing.

Unfortunately though, your coworkers did care.

The back door creaked open and you could hardly hear the conversation over your own tears.

“Anakin!” Vigo whisper shouted. “What the fuck did you do to her?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t do this!” His voice angrily gritting through his teeth. “What happened today?”

“Nothin’ man! I dunno!” Vigo squeaked raising up his hands in surrender. “She just clocked in like that, no cryin’ though. She’s hardly said a word.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t call me!” Anakin grunted, “I’m her emergency contact for a reason you idiot.”

“Hey? Don’t get mad at me!” Vigo scoffed. “I figured she was in a funk because of you, why would I call if I thought it was boyfriend troubles?”

“Jesus- did you even ask her?”

“What?”

“Oh my fuckin’-“ Anakin took a breath to regulate himself, one arm firmly holding you while the other was wildly gesturing as he spoke. “Did you ask her what was wrong?”

“No?”

“Are you stupid? God just fuck- go back inside before you end up crying on the ground too.” He snapped at him, huffing as the back door shut behind a quickly retreating Vigo.

“Sorry baby, I’m sorry,” He whispered, petting your head and squeezing you tightly. “I’m sorry, that probably didn’t help did it?”

“N-not really.” You hiccuped out a laugh.

“She speaks.” He gasped, “want me to yell at him some more? I’ll do it just say the word-“

“Anakin-“ you snorted, wiping your eyes and nose on his shirt. “Aw shit sorry.”

“You think I’m worried about alittle snot?” He scoffed, “Sweetheart, I’d lick it out of your nose like a cow if you’d let me. C’mere I’ll prove it.”

He stuck out his tongue and flicked it at you, chasing your face as you squirmed away from him. Despite to horrible ache in your lungs and the scratchy feeling in your throat, Anakin had a way of making everything better. Even if it was accomplished by making a fool of himself.

You laughed in spite of trying to catch your breath, fighting those awkward stalled inhales with a the goofy little giggle only he could force out of you. He relented finally when you gave up struggling, opting for a kiss on the tip of your nose rather than his tongue up your nostril.

“Wanna talk to me now?” He asked quietly, his playful attitude tucked away and replaced with seriousness.

“I don’t know Ani.” You sighed, feeling horribly conflicted. “I just want to go home.”

“Then I’ll take you home.” He said, not leaving room for argument. “But I’m not letting you get up until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Please? Please I don’t wanna talk about it.” Your eyes already filling back up with tears.

“It’s nothing really! It’s okay.” You pleaded with him, “I’m just… I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff and it’s all overwhelming.”

“That’s not okay, don’t say it’s okay. You just wailed like a banshee.” He said sternly. “Talk, let me help.”

“I just feel like I’m losing my mind.” You scoffed, “Im going nuts. I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it without you thinking I’m insane.”

“Princess.” He said, his voice cracking with pain. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

“W-what if hypothetically…” you whispered. “It’s only hypothetical okay?”

“Okay. Imaginary scenario, let’s hear it.” He nodded solemnly.

“Hypothetically, if I was having… nightmares of someone being in my house. What would you say.” You whispered.

“Hypothetical nightmares?” He asked, one eyebrow raised. “Well… I’d suggest that maybe you… go to therapy? See if you can find the root of the problem.”

Therapy? To find the root of the problem? That would work if you didn’t already know where to find the problem: in your apartment at any given moment. Hell, he was probably there right now.

“Are you having these dreams because of that night at the bar?” He asked softly, tucking loose hairs behind your ear. “You know we didn’t see anyone put anything in your drink. No one left at the same time as you but your friends.”

“Now like I said before, just because we didn’t see it on camera… it doesn’t mean that no one slipped something in your drink. Stuff like that unfortunately happens all the time.” He sighed.

“I know.” You nodded, your eyes wet and sad, you knew you weren’t drugged there. You were drugged in the security of your own home. “I know, I think maybe I was just alittle more tipsy than I thought I don’t-“

“Hey, no… it’s okay.” He soothed you. “I believe you.”

“But there was no one who followed you home from the bar. I can say that with 100% certainty okay?” He said sternly.

“Ani but-“

“Look at me.” He said sharply, his voice turning soft again immediately after. “No one followed you home. I watched that video a hundred times over from every angle possible. No one else left the bar until about 17 minutes after you and your friends left.”

“Now don’t get upset baby okay? Listen I know, I know that it scared you shitless.” He said in a pained way, his face not quite matching his tone of voice like he was having a hard time trying to decide how to respond.

“Which is perfectly valid. It’s totally okay to be terrified if you saw something like that.” He soothed you, squeezing your upper arms. “I’m not saying it didn’t happen, I would never say that. If you say that you saw something, I believe you.”

“But, just because you saw it… doesn’t mean that it was truly there. Those kind of drugs can really fuck with your head baby.” He said gently.

“I know.” You sniffled, wiping your eyes and hiding against his chest again.

Gods… this man. He really was one of a kind, not just any man or person in general for that matter, would respond so well to such a strange temporary delusion. Your past boyfriends would’ve run for the hills. But not Anakin. It was clear he wasn’t deterred easily, he was your personal emotional support pet leech.

It was strange, feeling so comfortable like this with someone you hadn’t known for very long. After this conversation you thought maybe it would be okay to tell Anakin the truth about it all. He’d handle it perfectly well wouldn’t he?

But, you can’t risk putting him in harms way. You wouldn’t know if Anakin would be safe without first speaking to Ghost. If Anakin was your pet leech… Ghost was the the neighborhood street dog who’d decided your porch was the safest place to sleep. Who would be heartless enough to kick the poor thing out without a proper meal first?

That’s the problem with strays. Give them a scrap and they’ll love you for life.

Diary Entry: August 14th

Jesus baby I’m sorry. I thought things went well last night, I didn’t mean to make you so upset. I really didn’t. I guess you weren’t ready to see Ghost after all.

That’s my fault, I apologize. I should have known better.

It’s just… you seemed kind of excited for it you know? I thought we had a good time. Was the stripping down in front of me what freaked you out so much? Or seeing the pictures? I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have, that was too far, too fast.

I see now that I made a mistake and I plan to rectify it as soon as possible. I’m going to give you a choice, one that I really don’t want to give you. But I will for the sake of your sanity.

I’ve been selfish for too long.

I’ve not truly considered your feelings on the situation, I’ve taken your response at face value and never attempted to dig farther than that. It won’t happen again I can assure you of that. Ghost will still be Ghost, but perhaps just a bit more considerate of your opinions and boundaries.

You must understand though, it’s hard to deal with this for me too. I know it’s not fair to compare our separate sides of the situation like this, but it’s true. It’s painful to watch you get so upset over something I’ve done, knowing I can’t really resolve the issue. I don’t know how to help, or fix this.

I’ve dug myself into a hole. A Pit if you will.

How could you ever forgive me now? After all this time that I have been so stupidly self-centered… I imagine it would be unlikely that you could find it in your immensely kind soul to forgive and forget my transgressions.

Maybe not though? I do see you as a godly entity, my own personal deity. If I leave enough at the altar, bow at your feet for long enough, serve you unconditionally… maybe then you would see that I have discovered the error of my ways. You could see that I am truthful in my pursuit of repentance.

Date

August 15th

Anakin drove to the opposite side of the city to purchase your apology gifts from Ghost. He knew well enough that Luke never had a set schedule, Han was always at the gym and you were at book club. There was limited space in time and even smaller proximity of location for him to safely collect the supplies he needed.

If someone saw him buying a dozen red roses and told you about it without his knowledge… well there goes Ghost. It’d be real hard to explain that away.

So he went to the florist, chose the most beautiful bouquet he could find and tucked it away in a large brown bag with tissue paper over the top so he wouldn’t accidentally bruise the petals.

He strolled down the side walk to another small mom and pop store, just to browse through stationary and cards. Ghost needs to be alittle more classy in his opinion. Maybe if his notes are on nice paper and written in plain black ink… that could ease the discomfort of it. It’s probably not super welcoming to find a ripped scrap of paper with red ink scrawled on it now that he’s come to think of it.

It was amusing to him before, but after your display of emotion, he’s feeling guilty. Very, very guilty. There was no reason to go the extra mile on stupid little things like that.

So, pretty grey paper and matching envelopes join the bouquet.

Now he just has to find something else. It can’t be chocolate or something generic. It has to be something meaningful. Something thoughtful to solidify the sentiment behind his offer for you. Something that will push you to make the right decision.

——————————————————————————

Anakin walked into your apartment, and went straight to your bedroom, it was time for Ghost to set up his apology present.

The big red bouquet was carefully placed in the center of your bed along with the pretty stationary propped against it. Your name carefully and neatly written in **black ink** on the envelope.

Your other gift, had turned into two. A small black box accompanying a short and squat black gift bag with grey tissue paper.

He was proud of his staged display, so proud that he couldn’t wait for you to see it. He was itching for you to get home, he needed to know what you’d choose. He was dying to see your pretty face light up with joy at his thoughtfulness.

So against his better judgement, he snapped a picture of himself standing at your bedside. The photo taken from a high angle to capture just the corner of your red rose bouquet, with himself taking up majority of the frame. His mask tilted to the side and his free hand held up a gloved peace sign.

He’d wait to send it.

He wanted to see your face when the message came through.

Anakin was prepared to be patient, but he didn’t have to be patient for long. He got the notification that there was movement out front of the building, he pulled up the live feed from the stairwell camera on his laptop and excitedly jolted up out of his seat before sitting back down quickly to scoot his seat back up to the table.

He rubbed his hands together and practically combusted from the inside when he confirmed it was you. His fingers moved quickly to send the text message and just as he thought you would, you paused and pulled your phone from your hoodie pocket.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a bit of panic and maybe a bit of excitement. But mostly, Anakin was saddened to see fear. You were scared, but so brave as he watched you sprint up the steps. He shook his head and let out a deep breath, pulling up the split screen of all the cameras in your home.

You burst through the front door and slammed it shut, tossing your bag aside. Anakin turned up the volume just a bit and immediately realized that was a mistake because you yelled directly underneath the kitchen camera. The audio crackled as you shouted out for Ghost, Anakin realized then that you must think he’s still inside your home.

‘Just missed me.’ He texted quickly, watching you check your phone quickly and let out a sigh of relief as you muttered under your breath.

He thought you might text back, but why would you when you knew he was watching at that very moment?

“Hey!” You said, spinning in place, your eyes darting around to scan the room. “Where did you go? I didn’t see you!”

You rushed over to the living room window and down to the alley below, then up the fire escape, your gaze traveling over to the next building’s roof.

‘You won’t see me unless I want you to.’ He texted back.

“Jesus.” You muttered, rubbing your wrist anxiously. “I guess you want me to go to my room huh?”

‘Yes please.’

“Fine.” You sighed, kicking off your shoes as you walked over to the bedroom door, flinging it open quickly just incase he was still hiding out.

Your eyes drew to the center of your bed, the roses, the bag and box, the envelope. If the situation weren’t so strange you might consider this a romantic gesture. But it’s not, it’s not romantic and you shouldn’t want to open the gifts and sniff the pretty, sweet smelling flowers. You should want to call the police and have them haul the shit off for evidence.

“What’s all this for?” You asked alittle quieter than before, holding up your phone to read the text as it came through almost instantly as you knew that it would.

‘Letter.’

“Letter? That’s all?” You scoffed, “you did all this for a letter?”

‘It’s important.’ The response came quickly, followed by a second in rapid succession. ‘Gifts first.’

“Okay… alright. Gifts first.” You sighed, pulling your hand back from where it was inches away from the grey envelope.

The small box seemed like a good first thing to open, easy enough to snap shut if you didn’t like what you saw inside. Tentatively shifting the lid back and forth you wiggled it free and lifted the small square of padding to reveal a very nice, very ornate, obviously hand crafted hair-pin with a silver rod for the pin.

You gingerly lifted it from the box and held it in your hand to examine it, walking over to the window to open the curtains and see it more clearly. Smooth, black ceramic, gorgeously curved and curled silver fittings. But the most intriguing, the most breathtaking part of it, was the delicate lines and the daintily carved cameo in the center of the ceramic oval.

A woman standing under a willow, with a fawn at her feet.

You wanted to hate it, but how could you hate something so beautiful? How could you pretend to be unappreciative of something that clearly took time and effort to find, it wasn’t just vintage, it was antique. The fact that he’d searched for and seized the jewelry was a feat in itself.

You gingerly laid it back in its box, almost too afraid to hold it. Afraid of its fragility, afraid of what it stood for, how it made you feel. The tiny claws of emotion ripping at your throat stole your voice, you could only hope that Ghost couldn’t see your face from where you were standing or he would clearly see what he’d stirred up inside you.

You picked up the small bag and lifted the tissue paper gently, hoping it wasn’t another emotionally draining surprise.

It wasn’t draining, but it sure as hell was a surprise.

“What’s this?” You snorted, turning the bag over and dumping out a few cat toys.

You waited, checking your phone periodically but got no response. You knew he was still watching, so why wasn’t he answering? Sighing you shook your head and opted to take a look at the toys.

A felt kicker toy shaped as a bloody knife. A couple of fluffy spiders, eyeballs with bells inside, and a little vampire bat that was almost too cute to be a cat toy.

“Thanks.” You said quietly.

It was infuriating how well he knew you, he knew how to crawl into your brain and make you want more. How could you not when he did things like this? Thoughtful, well planned gifts, including your pet too. He knew that your cat was your baby and he’d taken the time to befriend her, cared about her enough to buy her things.

It made it all the more irritating that his choice of toys was just alittle funny. But you’d die before you admit that seeing the knife made you crack a grin.

Finally you decided it was time to open the envelope, as soon as you did, you understood why he’d asked you to open the gifts first.

LETTER

Little Doe,

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. The hurt I saw, the words heard… I felt it in my soul when I watched you crumble.

My purpose is to love you, my job is to keep you safe, my goal is to make you happy. I’m only doing one of those things, it’s selfish of me to love you the way that I do. I know that.

What I’ve done is wrong, I’m aware. I can’t justify or explain it to you. Just know that the long and short of it is love, it’s not a normal love, but it’s mine and I’m giving it all to you.

There’s no way you’d understand the lengths I’d go to, the things I would do for you. You’d never comprehend how deeply I adore you. That’s okay. It’s hard for me to understand myself too.

The hairpin, it’s the goddess of the hunt and her fawn. I thought considering it all, it would be more than suitable for our situation.

You’re a saint, a deity, someone worth the labors of worship.

Goddesses aren’t meant to be touched, held, loved corporally. They’re meant to be imagined, a comforting presence that you feel all around you, bowed to in hopes of receiving grace. I’ve tried to go beyond the altar to reach you and for that I’m truly sorry.

Please, please take my offerings.

I love you, I need you, but I don’t deserve you. No one deserves attention from the heavens, especially not me. But if you are listening, if you’re willing, I’ll try my best to be the perfect follower.

So I’ll ask for a boon from my goddess:

Grant me passage on the road to repentance, or take my hand to walk through the valley.

You sat on your bed in silence for a long while, your cat coming to join you and accept the gifts left for her excitedly. It brought you a moment of peace to watch her waller around and smack the eyeballs across the floor.

So the overwhelming weight of the thin grey sheet of paper in your hand felt even heavier when she scampered off with her brand new bag toy hanging from her mouth like a fresh kill. She’d left you alone and undistracted again. Just you, your thoughts, and the suffocating silence surrounding you, the creeping tingle on your neck that told you he was still watching the cameras.

He was waiting.

So you sighed and crawled off the bed with your bouquet in tow, cutting the stems into the kitchen trash can and filling a glass vase with water to display them on the counter.

The grey paper followed you from room to room, seat to seat, from one hand to the other as you read it over and over. You could recite it by memory, it was burned into your retinas, you could still feel the indents of his pen on the paper long after you’d sat it aside, the smell of the paper dye singed your nostrils and didn’t leave even after your shower.

You thought you could clean yourself, wash your hands of the problem both literally and metaphorically.

No amount of scrubbing could rinse your brain well enough to wash away the thousands of jumbled words swirling around. You’d been trying to formulate one, just one, coherent sentence for a response. But each time you made progress, you changed your mind on the decision, you scrapped the idea, sent it to the shredder and recycled it into a slightly different, just as illegible mess.

He’s giving you an out. Take it.

Who cares if he still watches you? He won’t interfere. He won’t show up for visits, he won’t leave you gifts or notes.

He’d left you with an offering. A little piece of himself in exchange for your so called ‘divine intervention’. He was asking for the hand of god to stir the pot and serve it too. At least, that’s how he saw it.

For you it was just an awkward toss up of a bunch of jumbled pros and cons.

On one hand he was offering you freedom. Opening the bird cage and giving you the option to escape but clipping your wings, ensuring you can’t go too far.

He’d still watch, just not make an appearance… keep himself hidden like before.

This would also solidify Anakin’s safety, which you valued highly. You’d be free to have your beautiful blossoming relationship, without the worry and stress from the Ghost that haunts your apartment.

On the other hand he gave you the choice to join him in some capacity. To walk through the valley with him; would he walk two steps behind? Two in front? Or side-by-side?

It’d give you the opportunity to explore this stranger you’ve discovered living inside your mind and body. That weird itch that only Ghost can scratch, the thought of him alone just doesn’t do it for you anymore.

You’d have the chance to see who is under that mask and that was more intriguing than anything. You felt like the more you spoke to him, the more you watched him in person… maybe you’d be able to narrow it down to a few people. That might be worth the risks that come with allowing him to continue visiting.

So, you swallowed your fear and closed your eyes. A few silent moments later you spoke aloud, assuming Ghost was still listening.

“I’ll walk with you.” You said slowly, tasting the words as they left your lips. “On two conditions.”

‘What are they, deer?’ His response came instantaneously.

“You leave my friends and family alone. You swear on your life they’re safe and that includes Anakin. I mean it, I’m not fucking around about it okay?” You said confidently. “I already feel guilty enough, don’t make it worse for me.”

‘Guilty?’

“Yes guilty! I have a boyfriend, who I really, really like.” You said, feeling exhausted from the complexity of your choice. “This isn’t fair to him!”

“But it’s… it’s not fair to me either!” You said frustratedly as you blew out a long breath of air through pursed lips. “I deserve to know who you are! You’ve been watching me for god knows how long and I haven’t even heard your real voice.”

“And… and it’s not fair for you either.” You admitted quietly.

‘Why?’

“You’ve been… mostly harmless. Kind.” You confessed, considering saying more, much more. “You’ve been helpful. Despite everything you’ve done, you obviously care about me. I can’t ignore that especially now.”

‘Mostly harmless??’

‘Why ‘especially’ now?’

“You’re joking right?” You snorted in disbelief, shaking your head and trying to stifle a laugh of indignation. “You… well I mean it feels wrong to call it what it is. But- you.. you know what you did!” You crossed your arms frustratedly.

‘Ah… the extracurriculars.’

“Sure if that’s what you want to call it.” An expression of, strangely enough, amusement, crossed over your features. “What it is… well you know what it is.” You sighed.

“But for some reason… I don’t want to call it that.” You said quietly.

‘Hm. I’ll remember that.’

“I’m sure you will.” You huffed in spite of yourself, because if you were honest you’d be telling him you liked it. Your body liked it, your brain liked it, asleep or not, he’d affected you in ways you were unsure you could get with anyone else. Including your sweet and precious boyfriend, he’s too tender and loving.

“Second condition: you promise me that you’ll eventually tell me who you are.” You said firmly. “I deserve to know.”

‘I accept.’

“Okay then.” You sighed with relief and a bit of resignation. “You still have to warn me if you’re gonna be coming to visit though!”

‘Yes ma’am.’

“Ew. Add that to the list. Never call me ma’am again.” You snorted and it rolled into a full laugh when you finally looked up and caught your own gaze in your bedroom mirror. You were sitting in your room alone, speaking aloud, having a fully fleshed, seemingly one-sided conversation.

If anyone were to walk in on this scene playing out, they’d think you’ve lost your mind.

Maybe you already have.

Part Ten

The pendant that inspired the hairpin! I forgot to add it in sorryyyyyy

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#star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #anakin x you #sw anakin #darth vader #darth vader smut #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker smut #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin #anakin skywalker x you #darth vader x you #darth vader x reader #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen #james kelly

[riot-ghost]

So I've started a DP writing prompt and I don't know whether or not to finish it so I'll set my base ideas here and see if it hits.

Danny slammed his locker shut, kicking the metal door so hard that it crumpled like a can of soda, barely hanging on by the top hinge. The school was mostly empty, given that school was out regardless. But the remaining students were in a similar state as him.

The students remaining in the school were all in different stages of grief, really. The whole scene looked like something straight from one of Jazz's textbooks. Paulina was picking up her locker, talking with Star about Phantom. Denial.

Danny was the perfect picture of anger. Pure rage leaked from every pore. Star had only just passed bargaining, the mascara tear-stains from begging with her parents are enough evidence of that.

Dash sat against his locker across the hall, staring into blank space. Mikey sat in the cafeteria, head buried into the phone he'd gotten off of his parents.

All of Casper High was like this. Tucker sat next to Mikey, the vibrant screen glaring at his thick-framed glasses. Sam was trashing the art room, her angry screams heard from where Danny stood in the hallway. He'd gotten into his locker and was currently busy tears apart every picture he had with his parents.

What Danny really wanted to know, what all of the students did, was why. Why was this happening? What led to this?

It had started the Friday before, really. School was going as normal. Danny was on edge. There hadn't been a ghost attack all week. He sat in his seat, ready for English class. Mr. Lancer came in. He set down his book, took off his reading glasses, and stared at his class.

"Our funding has been cut." No one says anything. Mr. Lancer sighs, rubbing his face. "I... Shouldn't be the one to break this to you." He turns to the corner of the room. "I... Have to be." He sighs. "Eighteen years ago, I got hired for an acting job." Still, silence follows his words.

"A government-funded project. Full time, the pay was astronomical. I was suspicious, but I was broke. I was so indebted that I would have joined the military. Or, hell, I would've done anything." Mr. Lancer took a seat. "I was briefed on this... This project. The Amity Project. A fake town, something about the ambient air. Genetically mutated kids. I didn't understand it all."

There's a click from somewhere. Just a background sound, hardly anything. "I didn't understand the sheer size of the project. A whole fake town? I-I was in awe. But then, when you guys got here, to this school, and the project took a turn. No longer was the project raising you guys. It wasn't... It was something twisted and wrong. It was torture." He hangs his head. "No one told me. No one told me until it was too late, and I was too far in, and-"

Mr. Lancer swallows. "I'm sorry." He places his head in his hands. "The Amity Project has come to a head. The portal's been shut down, and you all will be... Dispersed. Rehomed."

"Why?" Danny finds the word falling from his mouth before he can even think.

"They say it's because our benefactors were almost caught. Downsizing. I... I recommend you all stay here. At school. Your parents. They... They are your parents, but they are scientists. This has been a job to them. You'll all be given your housing and guardian's information by Monday. I'm sorry."

Danny had only gotten minimal information from his 'parents'. Just that they'd be busy sorting through years of backlogged data. Just that they were upset that it was all over. No one could stand being around the edge of the town- the sheer number of people just on the other side of the fence was overwhelming.

The juniors of Casper had stayed in Mr. Lancer's English class for hours after the bombshell had been dropped. They'd all had some sort of deep-rooted mutual understanding with each other. And they were all feeling. All feeling anger, depression, they were all feeling grief.

The cards that sat in their back pockets, the creased folders, everything. They all stood in a line, now, all twenty-four students. All of the younger students had been cleared. The older ones had already been gone. But they knew, those 24 students, they knew that it wasn't them that the Amity Project ruled around. It was them.

The students looked less their age as they watched car after car pull up in front of the school. They look like warriors, watching the 'civilians' step out of their cars.

Danny is in the middle of the line, hunched forward a bit as he twists and rips at the flag pole in his hands. He crunches it like it's made of playdough, the metal creaking and grinding in his hands.

Sam is to Danny's left, dripping in blood red paint. Her gothic attire is soaked, her hand color is lost to the red. She looks hellious, like she'd crawled from her own personal pit in hell.

Tucker stands to Danny's right. His posture is firm. His eyes are calculating. His jaw is set. His face is stone. He's tall, looming.

... So. Anyways. I'm thinking from here Sam goes with Diana Prince, Danny goes with Clark Kent, and Tucker goes with Bruce Wayne. The rest of the class goes with assorted civilians (or minor vigilantes). The class remains in contact with each other via letters. The story will follow them coping with not being normal, with the rage and anger, and their evolution into being a new phase of heroes. Heroes without masks or names or anything.

Jazz is living with Barry Allen. She was specifically separated from Danny, and kept that way. Vlad is a halfa, but he's part of the project. Dani is his daughter, and Dan was an unscripted blip in time.

Any feedback would be nice! I just don't know if it'll turn out the way I'm thinking it will.

#dp x dc #danny phantom #danny fenton #dc x dp #batman #jason todd #batfam #danny phantom crossover #justice league #diana prince #clark kent #tucker foley #sam manson

[clockwayswrites]

A Broken Sort of Normal, Part 14

WC: 2416, Masterpost CW: Panic attack

Endless, convoluted Uno games aside (really, who added tarot cards to Uno?), getting to know Wally’s friends was good. Danny liked them and hanging out with them was easier than he thought it would be, but he felt a little bad every time. Whenever he was there they had to keep masks on and that had to suck. They started dressing down, like Wally did, but it was always masks on for the heroes that wore them. They insisted it wasn’t an issue, but Danny made sure to sometimes have obligations that came up at the same time. He wanted to give them the chance to hang out together as themselves, without the hero suits.

Danny knew how important that was.

After several months and a bit of stumbling, it all found a rhythm. Danny had date nights and nights with the Titans. He also had nights out with coworkers or at the game store. That wasn’t to say it was all easy. Setting up the Justice League Response Team was hard, sometimes impossible seeming, work. There were arguments and issues and more red tape than Danny thought possible. His real job was also exhausting at times. Being a field medic meant dealing with injured and dead which never got easier, though he was grateful to have Wally to go to on the worst days. And then, of course, there was the lightning incident.

It really wasn’t his best moment, in his opinion.

Wally was so excited.

“Come on, come on!” he said as he dragged Danny by the hand. He had been lying in ambush to snag Danny right outside of the door of meeting room B3, otherwise known as the Response Team Lair. (They had been encouraged, repeatedly, to stop calling it a lair. Apparently that a bit too villainous for the comfort of some heroes.)

“What’s the hurry?” Danny asked, purposefully dragging his feet a little just to watch Wally bounce up and down impatiently.

“I’ve been working on a new power! I’ve really gotten it down and I want to show you. So come,” Wally pulled at Danny’s arm, “on already!”

Danny laughed and stopped fighting Wally, who almost stumbled with their sudden movement forward.

“Are we going to a training room then?” Danny asked. While over the months, the main response team planners had gained a lot of freedom throughout the Watchtower, there were still a number of areas they either weren’t allowed or weren’t supposed to go without supervision and the training rooms was one of those. Danny had been a few times with the Titans, but usually it was just to grab someone for a game or a night at Wally’s place.

“Yep! No one is stupid enough to risk the Big Bat’s wrath practicing powers like that outside the training room and this is a new power. I’m going to keep you in the observation room and everything just to be safe.”

“My hero,” Danny said with feeling.

“Always,” Wally replied with a grin. “And speaking of heroes, N is going to be there running the sim for me. Are you up to a meal after? Just something casual at my place with the usual peep?”

Danny thought about that honesty. He knew that Wally was asking because he actually wanted to know if Danny could handle being that social tonight. It was still hard sometimes. “Yeah, it would be good to see them. It’s been a few weeks with how busy things have been.”

“More like several.”

“Several?” Danny asked. He felt chastised even though he knew that’s not what Wally was trying to do. “Well, then definitely yes. I hadn’t realized it had been so long.”

“It’s okay, they all understand. You’re really in the thick of it trying to get the last things done for the response team. We all get being busy.”

“Yeah,” Danny said and let out a huff of air. “I guess you would. But a nice night with friends sounds good. Just please tell me there have been no more rules added to Uno.”

“I can make no such promises,” Wally said with a grin as they stepped through a door. “Nightwing! I have your observer for you.”

“No, not the Danny Fenton? I must be seeing things! Flash, take me to medical, have me tested,” Nightwing said, swooning into Wally’s arms.

“Yeah yeah, I get it, it’s been a little long since we saw each other,” Danny groused, but he couldn’t help the smile at the dramatics.

“It has,” Nightwing said from where he was still draped in Wally’s arms. That really couldn’t be comfortable, but Nightwing looked just as at ease as if he was standing normally. “But are we on for dinner tonight?”

“We are.”

“Yes!” Nightwing said, springing up. “Okay speedy, let’s get this show on the road! I’ll message the others while you warm up. Just signal to me when you’re ready.”

“Sure!” Wally chirped. He pecked Danny on the cheek before he sped off.

In a, well, flash, Wally was on the other side of the thick, blast proof window and stretching.

Danny shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I haven’t ignored him too badly, right? I’ve just been so caught up in finalizing everything. Not that that’s an excuse. I can, like, set alarms for myself. My days have been all thrown off not going to my actual job this last bit…”

“Hey, Danny, no,” Nightwing said. “Would he like to have seen you a little more? Probably, but it’s not like he hasn’t and you two text plenty. He gets that you’re busy, we all do. He’s been good, really.”

“Okay, good,” Danny said, making sure to smile for Nightwing. “I just… don’t want to do wrong by him, you know?”

“Why do you think we all like you so much?” Nightwing teased and bumped their shoulders together. “You’ve been good for him.”

“He’s been better for me, believe me.”

“Luckily not a competition,” Nightwing said. “You really good for a dinner with the group tonight? If you need some time alone with Flash, I can’t say the others are busy and make up an emergency.”

Danny shook his head. “No, dinner with everyone, well, everyone who can make it really does sound nice. They’re making us take the weekend off anyways, so I can just stay over and spend tomorrow with him too..”

“He’d like that I’m sure,” Nightwing agreed. He pulled out his phone typed for a bit until Wally’s voice came through the intercom.

“All good here!”

“You still want the Sigma B pattern?”

“Yeah! That let’s me build up best.”

Nightwing nodded and pulled some things up on the computer before counting down for the training to start. It was fun to be able to sit back and actually watch Wally in action for once instead of having to work. The other really was something.

“The regular training bots have to be taken out in certain ways. Flash is going for pressing one of the buttons,” Nightwing explained. “Training for precise hits helps us heroes who use hand to hand not use too much force on regular people.”

“And keeps the repair budget down?”

Nightwing laughed. “That too. Okay, so he should be getting close now, watch the sphere on the wall there.”

“Close to wha—” Danny swallowed the last part of his question as his mind blanked.

His head banged against something metal and cool. A locker. He was in the locker room. When had he gotten into the locker room?

Someone reached for him and Danny jerked back again, pressing into the little gap between the metal locker and the wall that he had squeezed into. Wally, Wally was paused, hand outstretched. Wally was, Wally had— Danny squeezed his tightly closed so not to see the look of hurt on Wally’s face. It was just that… he swore he could feel still feel the electricity buzzing along Wally’s fingertips.

Wally had shot lightning out of his hands.

“Just… I don’t… don’t touch me right now, please?” Danny whispered.

“Okay, I yeah, okay babe,” Wally said. He sounded heartbroken.

There was some shuffling, footsteps heading away, and the whoosh of the door.

Danny bit his lip to choke back the noise wanting to pull its way out of his throat, but that only served to make his breath catch and stutter in his chest.

“Hey, Danny,” a new voice said later; an hour, a minute? Danny didn’t know. It took Danny another moment to place it as Nightwing. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to touch you. I’m just worried about your breathing there. If I count, can you follow along with me?”

Danny didn’t have it in him to nod, but did what he could to follow along. The logical, trained part of his mind knew that even if he didn’t feel like he could breathe, he had to try for even breaths. It would get easier, nothing was actually wrong with his lungs.

“There you go. Do you think you can open your eyes now?”

Spots bloomed across his vision from how tightly he had been squeezing his eyes shut. Danny blinked them away.

“You’re doing so good. Can you talk?”

“Sorry,” Danny rasped.

“Hey, no apologizing. I want you to just keep breathing. I know you’re with me now.”

Danny managed a nod, let his eyes close again as he focused on breathing. When he was feeling a bit more stable, he moved out of where he had tucked himself away.

Nightwing smiled at him. “How about we get you out of here?”

Danny gave a hysterical little laugh. “What, no breakdowns in the Justice League locker room?”

“Oh, no, we’ve all had breakdowns in the locker rooms,” Nightwing said. He got an arm behind Danny and pulled him up. “But that’s how I know it’s not that comfortable. Are you up to Zetaing?”

“As long as you don’t expect me to think,” Danny said as he leaned, helplessly and heavily, into Nigthwing’s support. “Fuck I hate panic attacks.”

Nightwing easily took the weight and started them moving. “The adrenaline crash after them is really something, huh?”

“Yeah, hate it,” Danny agreed. He was aware of them moving through the halls of the Watchtower, but everything was still a bit of a blur.

They stopped near the Zeta tubes where Nightwing grabbed a little bundle. Danny frowned at the earplugs he was handed.

“Your senses are going to be off and the noise of the city might trigger you again. Put these on,” Nightwing said, settling sunglasses on Danny’s nose, “and the earplugs in.”

Danny gave a little nod and did as he was told. Then he obediently tucked into the hoodie he’d been handed. He tucked his nose into it. It smelled like Wally. Nightwing tugged the hood up and moved them to the portal. It wasn’t until they were piling into a taxi that Danny realized that Nightwing put clothing over his suit too. Danny glanced away from Nightwing’s face, now clad only in dark sunglasses.

“Wally’s place?” Danny asked, finally realizing where they were when Nightwing opened the door to the apartment.

He shrugged. “I don’t know where you live and I figured you’d be comfortable here. At least I assume the freak out wasn’t about about Wally as a whole person?”

“A— gods no,” Danny said. He set the sunglasses on Wally’s little side table inside the door. The earplugs got stuffed in a pocket before he rubbed at his face as he made his way to the couch. He felt more terrible every passing moment. “How upset is Wally?”

“He’s not upset at you.”

“Yeah, but…”

The couch dipped on the other side. “Pretty upset. He hates that he hurt you.”

“He didn’t hurt me. I just,” Danny dropped his hands with a sigh and was left blinking at an unmasked Nightwing.

“Hi, Dick Grayson.”

“Oh great, now I know more heroes’ secret IDs. Is Batman going to come and boomerang me for this?”

“Baterang.”

“Baterang, really?”

“I was nine,” Dick said with a little shrug.

Danny snorted. “Don’t pretend you still don’t think it’s a great name, Dick.”

“I can’t tell if you’re insulting me or calling me my name.”

“Can’t it be both?”

Dick chuckled and finally sunk back into the couch. “Good to see this hasn’t slowed down your sass any.”

“I’m told it’s one of my best features,” Danny said with a laugh. The sound was still slightly unhinged sounding, he knew, but he was settling down at least. “Thanks for, you know.”

“It’s no biggie, really. We’ve all had them. Is having Wally close going to set you off again or…?”

“No, I don’t think so? I should be good?” He hoped he would be at least.

Nightwing, Dick, eyed him for a moment before texting something on his phone. A second later Wally was standing in front of the couch.

“You’re not supposed to use your powers out of uniform,” Danny reprimanded on instinct.

“Yeah, fuck that. Are you okay? I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about the lightning freaking you out because of your accident. That’s what it was, right? Babe—” Wally reached out for him and then pulled himself back.

Danny smiled, sadly, and held open his arms. Wally basically tackled him in a hug.

“I am so, so sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Danny said, tucking himself against Wally. “I mentioned what the accident was, what, once? Months and months ago? Of course you didn’t think about it.”

“I should have.”

“You can’t remember everything, Wally.”

“I can if it’s about you.”

A flash of a camera went off. Dick lowered his phone unrepentantly. “You two are such saps. Should I call off the others, order you some food, and get out of your hair?”

Danny knew they would, they would all change their plans if they thought that’s what he needed right then. But… “No. No, I think… I think people would be good right now. Better than quiet and getting in my own head, you know?”

“Yeah, I do,” Dick said with far too much familiarity.

Danny felt his phone buzzing with the group chat messages Dick was sending. A little smile tugged at his lips, despite everything. He tucked his face into the crook of Wally’s neck.

“You going to be okay?” Wally asked, voice barely a whisper.

“Of course I will. I have you, hero.”

---

AN: He has Wally, everything will be okay, right? 🥺

I know I know, every identity reveal comes after a panic attack. That's just Danny's sort of luck in this fic! But hey, he's got some good friends out of it!

Hope you enjoyed it and stay delightful, darlings!

#dp x dc #abson #quick death #danny fenton/wally west

[steddieas-shegoes]

just a hug

for @steddielovemonth prompt ‘love is a warm hug’

rated t | 719 words | cw: panic attack | tags: friends to lovers, idiots in love, getting together (officially)

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

It was just a light flickering. It shouldn’t have caused Steve’s heart to stop beating, his breathing to quicken, his chest to constrict.

He excused himself from the room, turned the corner down the hall, and fell against the wall. He couldn’t do it again. It was supposed to be over, they were supposed to be safe-

“Steve?” A voice said behind him. It should’ve startled him, but he barely heard it as he continued to picture the walls opening in front of him, a clock chiming.

“No, please,” Steve squeaked out, no longer in the Byers’ house, surrounded by vines and debris, choking on ash and dust.

“Stevie, Steve, it’s okay. You’re safe. You’re not there.” Was that Eddie? It couldn’t be. Eddie was, he was- “Hey, you feel my hands? I’m gonna hold yours. Squeeze my hands if you can hear me.”

He squeezed. Even if it wasn’t real, even if Eddie was still dying on the ground, even if he’d already died, he wanted to do what he said.

“That’s good, angel. Can you take a breath for me?”

He could, but his chest hurt and he choked on a sob, felt his throat closing up. He shook his head.

“Alright, let’s sit. C’mon, bend your knees.” Steve was guided down by strong hands, familiar hands, Eddie’s hands. “Yep, I’m right here. Not going anywhere. Let’s try again, deep breath.”

It was a little easier sitting down, focusing on the way Eddie’s voice was right next to his ear, his hands were on his arms.

“Better. Another one.”

Steve lost sight of the Upside Down. He lost the feeling of dread slowly. The hands on him felt warm now, less like a weight holding him down and more like a buoy pulling him to shore.

His head fell to rest against Eddie’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, something that had seemed impossible only a moment ago. The warmth of his body was bringing Steve back, making every breath easier as his heart rate returned to normal.

Eddie’s arms were around him, pulling him close, hugging him. He never really liked being consumed like this during a panic attack, or even after, but with Eddie it was different. Eddie knew exactly where to wrap his arms to make him feel grounded, warm, safe.

He was in Eddie’s lap, matching his breaths.

“I got him,” Eddie said softly to someone behind him, moving a hand to wave them away. “Just Joyce, angel. It’s okay.”

“I’m okay?” Steve didn’t mean to ask, meant to confirm it, but Eddie started running his fingers through his hair to comfort him more.

“You’re okay. I promise.”

“I’m okay. And you’re okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m right here.”

Steve was shaking, but felt a little more in control. He needed to be sure Eddie was okay.

He pulled away enough to touch his face, his shoulders and arms. Eddie was silent while he did it, used to the routine by now, patient while Steve made sure he wasn’t bleeding or broken or dying.

“You got me out of there, remember?” Eddie whispered to him.

“Sometimes it’s hard to remember,” Steve admitted. “Sometimes it feels like I’m back there and you’re dying and everyone’s dying and I’m alone.”

“You’re not, sweetheart.”

Steve looked up at him from under his lashes, eyes scanning Eddie’s face.

“You never call me that after they’re done,” Steve’s voice was hesitant, hushed.

“I always want to,” Eddie said just as hushed, not wanting to break the moment.

Eddie had been helping him through panic attacks for months now, but he’d also been there for everything else. They were together almost every night, sometimes for Hellfire, sometimes for movie nights, sometimes just for dinner with Wayne. They were in each other’s pockets most of the time.

Robin joked that they were basically a married couple. She wasn’t wrong, but Steve was terrified to show his cards.

“You want me to be your sweetheart?” Steve asked, playing with the ends of Eddie’s hair.

“Yeah, I’d really like that,” Eddie grinned.

“Me too.”

Steve was still off, still shaky and unsure of himself, but Eddie wrapped him in a warm hug again, whispered gentle reassurance against his ear.

He knew it was too soon to say it, but all he felt was love.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth #love is a warm hug #cw: panic attack #friends to lovers #idiots in love #getting together

[cordeliawhohung]

The Emptiness had Always Been There

Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!Reader part 3 of "soft spot"

You dig the knife in deep. Simon isn't scared. Why isn't he scared?

Warnings: Alcohol, talk of sex, descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack, a little bit of PTSD, allusions to past dubcon, reader is a little traumatized, Ghost is a natural caretaker.

wc: 6.4k

“Are you sure you should be having another one?”

The half-raised glass of the fruity drink you had ordered at the bar stopped short of your lips at your co-workers question. She stared at you with that question heavy in her eyes as she glanced back and forth between you and your drink. 

“Huh?” you asked, setting it down on the table. 

“That’s almost your third, maybe fourth one of the hour. You’re gonna get pissed before we even get tipsy,” the other woman at the table teased.

Cheryl and Méabh. They were two of the girls at the bank who you were closest with, and they had both managed to rope you into a night out drinking. Or, at least you were drinking. They were still on the first drinks they had ordered nearly forty minutes ago. 

Méabh was a sweet girl with bright eyes. He had only been working at the bank for about a year by that point. She worked there part time in the morning before her afternoon classes at university, but she always baked sweet pastries and made cute cards for everyone on their birthdays. Cheryl was a bit older than you, and gushed about her two children whenever she got the chance. She was as much of a motherly figure as you were going to get while living in London, and the concern in her eyes only reminded you of that fact. 

“Yeah, of course. Probably should hold off a bit,” you said with a chuckle. 

Truth was, by that point in the evening, you were already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. Fruity drinks were the bane of your existence. They tasted too good, yet were full nearly to the brim with alcohol that would knock you on your ass by the end of the night. Every time you looked around, it was as if your head kept moving long after you had told it to stop. 

Neither of the women in front of you were very covert in their glance at one another. The concern was practically seeping through their pores by that point, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you. 

“Cheryl invited you out because she’s worried about you,” Méabh suddenly admitted, eyes landing back on you once more. “She thinks you’ve been more distracted than normal.” 

“Jesus Christ, Méabh, you can’t just blurt that out,” Cheryl chastised the girl as if she were her own child. 

“Don’t look at me like that. We’ve been here for almost an hour and you haven’t even brought it up yet,” Méabh retorted. “It’s getting late, and I’ve got my tutoring job in the morning.”

Really, you hadn’t expected something like that from Méabh. She was always so reserved, despite her cheerfulness, and though she didn’t sound angry, she was certainly assertive. 

“Distracted?” you repeated, your hand reaching out to absentmindedly grab your near empty glass. “As in like, at work, or…?” 

Cheryl turned her attention back to you, her gaze softening at the concern in your voice. “Well, not necessarily. It’s just… you’ve been acting like you’ve got something on your mind lately.” 

You could feel heat begin to rise to your cheeks, and you weren’t quite sure if it was because of the slight embarrassment or the alcohol. Either way, you lifted the glass off the table and took a quick sip before setting it back down. 

“Oh. Well, I guess, maybe a little?” you said, unsure. 

Both of the women hummed and nodded their heads in understanding, but their eyes still held something else behind them. More questions they wanted to ask. The silence that stretched between the three of you made you want to down the remainder of your drink. 

“How are things with you and Simon?” Méabh asked, her soft smile radiating the corner of the bar you found yourselves in. 

Simon. Simon Riley. Over the last few months that the two of you had been together, you learned quite a lot about that man. Earl Grey tea was his favorite, and so painfully stereotypical of him (not that you could blame him, as you fancied yourself a vanilla tea misto on particularly cold days). He would shiver every time you kissed the scar on his cheek. He hated Christmas, but whenever you asked him why he told you he always thought it was tacky (this was a lie, and you knew it, but you refused to push him on it). If he had family, he didn’t talk about them, but would mention small details about the members of the task force he was a part of. 

Despite how quiet he could be at times, he was absolutely charming, albeit a bit cocky in a way. He was confident, and showered you with as much love and affection he could offer you whenever he wasn’t off on the other side of the world. On Valentines day, he sent you flowers at work (unsigned, of course, but you knew who they were from), and when you had gotten sick with the flu he provided you with all the medicine you would need (despite the fact you told him not to worry about it). 

He was tall, and towered over every other person you ever knew, and he always came back with some sort of wound from his missions. In a way, he should have terrified you. Yet he was so soft with you, so sweet. He nearly shattered someone's jaw only to walk you home afterwards. He was everything you could have ever wanted, and maybe more than what you deserved. 

And yet, there was still something in the back of your mind. This terrible, burning feeling that whispered to you day and night. That seed of doubt had been planted in you long ago. Someone had come in and taken their trowel, cutting you straight to the core where they shoved that terrible, decaying feeling deep inside you before patting it over, leaving it to fester. 

But you weren’t about to spill that to your co-workers. 

“They’re great. Yeah, things are good,” you answered, mustering a tight lipped smile. 

“It’s the sex, isn’t it?” 

Horrified, Méabh looked at Cheryl with wide eyes and mouth agape. “Bloody hell,” she breathed. “You yell at me for blurting out that we’re concerned about her, but you casually ask if she’s getting shagged?” 

“Well, I certainly worded it more tactfully than that.” 

Well, now the heat in your face was for sure from embarrassment. Your hand once more grasped around your drink and you shook your head before quickly taking a few large gulps. The sight of it only made Cheryl grin, and she leaned her elbows on the table. 

“But I’m right, aren’t I?” the woman pushed. “I’ve been on this earth long enough to know that sex can make or break a relationship. So, what is it? Your needs not being met, or what?” 

You averted your gaze from them and instead turned your attention to the table. It was made of some sort of faux wood that had deep gashes in it from god knows what. The multicolored lights that were strung up around the ceiling of the bar reflected slightly off of the dull plastic, and they started to blend together in a shade that made your stomach feel queasy. 

Maybe you really should have laid off the drinks. 

“We haven’t… we haven’t had sex,” you admitted softly, biting the corner of your lip. 

“Oh,” Cheryl said, surprised. “How long have the two of you been dating?” 

“Since the end of January, so… four? Five months?” you threw out a guess, unable to think straight between the pressure of the conversation and the alcohol rotting your stomach. 

The woman nodded her head as she reached up and shoved some of her greying hair behind her ear. “Well, that should be plenty of time. Just nervous or what?” 

“God, wouldn’t you be?” Méabh interjected. “You’ve seen the size of that guy. He’d probably break the bed and your goddamn hips with it.” 

Cheryl threw the girl a look of warning as your face fell into your hands. A groan huffed from your chest as you heavily rubbed at your eyes. 

“God, I don’t wanna think about that,” you slurred. 

Leaning over the table, Cheryl gave your shoulder a firm, motherly squeeze while offering a sympathetic smile. “What’s the matter then, darling?” 

Your hands fell from your face, and you stared at the table once more as you thought. It felt like that’s all you ever did those days; think. Think and think and think and god, it was getting annoying. Worms infested your brain, whispering terrible lies and sickening worries so much so that their thoughts had replaced your own. 

“I just, I don’t know. After everything with Eric I guess I’m maybe a little apprehensive? Or something?” you rambled. “Which is, like, stupid because they're nothing alike. Like, I know Simon looks scary and he’s in the military and he’s quiet but… fuck he’s… he’s so good to me, you guys.” 

Eric, your ex, was… less than perfect. It was impossible to expect anyone to be perfect, but between the arguing, and the fighting, and the bruises and the degrading… Even before all that had started, back in the honeymoon phase, back before everything started going wrong, he had always put his needs above your own. It was almost as if the man had never heard of aftercare before in his life at all. Once he was finished, then so were you, and you were left behind to clean up the mess he made of you, and everything else. 

But Simon was different. He had to be different. Because in reality, you were terrified of getting that close with someone again. Of being used and tossed aside. And yet you panicked and told yourself that if you didn’t give in soon, maybe he would get bored of you, and you would end up all alone in that big city in your big apartment that you were struggling to afford. 

Fuck, were you going to cry? 

Once more the rim of the glass cup came to your lips and you took another thick gulp to distract yourself before quickly blinking the moisture out of your eyes. Whatever horror that had been painted onto Méabh’s face was replaced with the same concern Cheryl wore. Even though it felt nice to have someone worry about you, the last thing you wanted was their pity. 

“Hey, it’s alright to be anxious,” Méabh assured you. “Eric was a prick. You’ve every right to be worried.” 

Cheryl nodded her head in agreement. “But at the same time, don’t let that hold you back if it’s what you want. Keyword, what you want. Take all the time you need, but you can’t let that arsehole control you forever.” She took a moment to pause and look you over, and a small smirk appeared on her face. “Or, just dive headfirst into it. I think you’ve got enough liquid courage coursing through you for that.” 

It was a joke, and a poor one at that, but you were thankful for it nonetheless. You laughed a silly, unfiltered laugh and the two women beamed at you. Whatever concern they had for you previously seemed to melt away as they changed the spotlight of the conversation away from you. Cheryl told a story about how her first marriage ended, and though the events weren’t funny, the way she told the story was. Perhaps in an attempt to make you feel better, Méabh indulged in her countless failed relationships with both the men and women she had met while at university. 

Eventually, the three of you had stayed there so long the bartender was beginning to grow a little impatient, giving you eyes that screamed for you all to just let him go home already. So you downed the rest of your drink and began to get some cash out of your bag, but as you went to stand up it felt like the floor was moving from underneath you. 

“Whoa,” Méabh warned, gently pushing you back into your chair. “Take it easy, babe. I’ll take the cash up for you.” 

Huffing, you obliged, and sat back at the table like a child as they helped you pay for the drinks you had indulged in too greatly that night. When they returned, they started to grab their own bags as they fumbled for their car keys. 

“Need a ride?” Méabh asked. 

You shook your head. “Nah, I walked here.” 

Both of them froze, and after sharing glances with one another, Cheryl looked at you and crossed your arms. “You’re taking the piss outta me if you think we’re going to let you walk yourself home. Now you either come with one of us, or you call that boy of yours to come get you.” 

A small scoff escaped your lips as you rummaged through your bag in search of your phone. “Boy…” you muttered, pulling your phone out and scrolling until you found Simon’s contact. “Six foot, four inches, and you’re calling him a boy.” 

Simon picked up on the third ring. Even after the few months the two of you had been together, you couldn’t get over the sound of his voice. The shitty audio quality of the phone didn’t do him full justice, but just hearing the lilt of his Manchester accent had you nearly falling out of your seat. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” 

You swallowed hard. “Hey, uhm… I went out with a few friends from work and uh… I know it’s late, and I’m sorry but-”

“Need a ride?” he interjected, cutting you off in the middle of your drunken ramble. Not in a rude way, but in a way that was more finishing your thought process. Or maybe he could just tell what you were working up towards asking by the slur of your words. 

“Yes,” you said with a breathy laugh. “Yes, please.”

He hummed, dark and low and in a way that the phone hardly picked it up, but it was there. “The one on twenty-first?” 

You nodded your head and stayed silent for a short moment. When he hadn’t responded, you blinked a few times to try and clear your mind, trying to remind yourself that you were, afterall, on the phone. “Sorry, yes, yes. Twenty-first.” 

“I’ll be right there,” he assured you. 

When you two said your goodbyes, you looked up at your co-workers with a toothy grin. Once they were certain you would be alright, you said your goodbyes before they left to go back to their own homes and families and lives. As you sat waiting for Simon, your eyes couldn’t help but wander back to your empty glass. 

What had that been? Was it really your fourth? Or had it been your fifth? You couldn’t remember, but it must have been. And you must have drank it quickly too, because even though you had stopped drinking maybe thirty minutes ago, it was as if the backlog of all the liquid you had chugged was finally hitting you. Your stomach was starting to spin as fast as your head was, and you had to take a deep breath to try and steady your frayed nerves. 

Or, just dive headfirst into it. I think you’ve got enough liquid courage coursing through you for that.

“Fuck…”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

You didn’t have to wait long for Simon to come pick you up, and he practically had to carry you to his car. It wasn’t a secret that he was concerned for your wellbeing, as the moment his eyes landed on you he almost looked a little scared, and so you did your best to ease his nerves by doing the only thing you knew best; talk. So you talked and giggled over everything and nothing the entire drive back to your apartment. You weren’t quite sure if he even responded to half of the things you said, but you weren’t talking to entertain him, anyways. 

Things weren’t much different by the time you actually arrived home. Stairs proved to be a challenge for you, and you found your breath being stolen by the way Simon rested his hand on your lower back to keep you steady. He walked a few steps behind you, watching you carefully in case you should fall. By the time you made it to the landing, he had to be the one to put the keys in the lock for you as you kept missing and scraping it along the side of it. 

The very moment the door was open, you tossed your bag somewhere on the floor before making a beeline to the couch. If you stayed on your feet any longer, you felt like you really were going to fall over, and you weren’t trying to embarrass yourself that much in front of Simon that night. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you sighed as you sunk back into your, frankly, uncomfortably sofa. “Sorry it’s so late.” 

“Don’t be,” he said, adjusting the straps of his mask. “I don’t want you to ever hesitate to call me if you need me.” 

A soft hum rumbled in your chest as you watched Simon walk further into the living room after ensuring the deadbolt was locked. God, just the sight of him sent your mind spinning, and the alcohol wasn’t helping. His mussed hair, those broad shoulders that could engulf you in a simple squeeze, and that damn tattoo peeking out from underneath the sleeve of his sweater. 

You smiled softly as he knelt in front of you, his eyes glancing to your feet. Even with him knelt down he was hardly much shorter than from where you were sitting on the couch. 

“Gonna muck up the floors,” he muttered softly. 

You watched him as he carefully reached for your shoes where he undid the laces, only struggling a little bit with the double knots. His hand gently grabbed your ankle, lifting your leg up just enough to slide the shoe off before carefully setting it back on the ground. Your heart pounded so violently in your chest you swore you felt it palpitate. How could he be so soft with you? 

“It’s fine. I can always clean them,” you said as he set your shoe to the side. 

“You’re not going to want to,” he retorted. 

Once he started on your second shoe, you found yourself enamored by his face. Or what you could make of it through that mask he always wore. With it nearing summer, he wasn’t wearing the balaclava as much, and opted for the surgical style cloth mask that was a bit more accepted. You liked it more because it showed his hair. But what you really wanted to see was his face. All of it. The slight stubble on his face, the cheeks that you loved to pepper with kisses and caress with your thumbs…

Before you knew it, your finger was hooked underneath the fabric of his mask, which caused him to pause midway through taking your shoe off. Yet he then continued as if nothing happened, and your shoe slid off with ease. When your feet were finally free from the confines of your shoes, and the floor no longer being assaulted by the dirt from outside, Simon looked up at you, his eyes shining as your finger stayed hooked under his mask. 

Reading your mind wasn’t difficult, as you were practically asking out loud for it. Simon reached his hands up and in one smooth motion pulled his mask off before setting it on the arm of the couch next to you. A grin broke out on your face as your hand instantly made its home against the flesh of his cheek. 

“You’re so handsome,” you said, nearly cooing. 

He didn’t break eye contact with you as his hands slowly reached for your shoes, taking them in his hands before he slowly stood up. “I know.” 

You huffed as he shot you a playful smirk before walking towards the entryway and placing your shoes against the wall next to his boots. You watched him carefully; how small your shoes looked in his hands, how the fabric of his sweater stretched against his back as he leaned forward, the way his hands rubbed at the back of his neck as he disappeared into the kitchen. 

“You’re awfully modest, you know that?” you called out to him in a teasing tone. 

Simon let out his own small huff before it was smothered by the sound of running water. “Haven’t been called that in a while,” he mused. Moments later he returned back through the doorway, a cup of water in hand, which he held out to you the moment he was near the couch. “Drink.” 

When you reached for the cup the first time, you nearly missed. Giggling your blunder away, you held out both of your hands instead, trying to keep as steady as possible as you then brought the glass to your lips. It was refreshing to have the cool taste of water wash over your tongue rather than the sugary, and somewhat biting taste of alcohol. It didn’t do much to wash away the aftertaste of everything you had drank at the bar, but it was enough. 

While you sipped away, Simon slowly lowered himself into the spot next to you on the sofa. It was the usual thing the two of you did whenever you were craving a night in. Slight cuddling on the sofa, watching something on the television, trying not to fall asleep. But this time you couldn’t look away from him. The way he placed his arm along the back of the couch, resting behind your head; the way his shirt stretched over the expanse of his chest; all of it drew you in. 

“See something you like?” Simon asked, brow raised slightly as he continued to tease you as usual. 

Why did you feel so… queasy? That twisting feeling in your stomach, and that spinning feeling in your head. Vision constantly rotating so fast your body couldn’t keep up. Was it the alcohol? No, alcohol never made your heart lurch like that. Never made it beat so fast that it felt like it was going to tear itself to shreds. Was it Simon?

Just dive headfirst into it. 

You took your eyes off of Simon long enough to set your cup on the side table next to you, and then in an instant you were swinging your leg over to straddle his hips. He looked up at you with his mouth slightly parted in surprise as he watched you settle yourself onto his lap. Instinctively his hands came to rest on your waist, helping to steady your slight swaying as you put your arms on his shoulders. 

“Easy, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low as his eyes scanned your face. 

Something in his eyes softened as he looked at you. Whatever playfulness or cockiness that had been there before melted away as his grip on you became more firm. His eyes were beautiful, and honestly, they were probably your favorite thing about him. Sometimes, when the sunlight hit them just right, the dark brown color would brighten to that of sweet honey. In a way, it was ironic that a man of his nature could hold so much softness to him. But you found you also liked it when the color of his eyes were dark. So dark that they looked endless, as if his irises were some void inviting you in. 

But everything started to fall apart after that. You could feel it in your trembling legs and the pressure building behind your eyes. Everything was too fuzzy. Too bright. Too soft. Too loud. God, it was loud. Deafening. It was too much. Too everything. It was everything all at once. Except for Simon. He was beautiful. So beautiful, so soft, so careful. 

How you wanted to fall into him. To fall and fall and let his arms catch you. To hold you. To pin you. Pin you and pin you. Feel his teeth graze against you and take. And take and take and take. Would it… hurt? Did you want it to hurt? Did you like it when it did? Like it did when you were with him? Him? With Eric? Face into the mattress, palm of his hand pushing you down. He was always so greedy. And greedy and greedy and greedy. 

You can’t let that arsehole control you forever. 

In a last ditch attempt to get your nerves under control, you gripped the collar of his shirt with both of your hands before descending on him with your eyes shut tight. Flesh collided with your lips but it felt empty. It felt cold. It wasn’t like the kisses Simon normally gave you. It was wrong. 

When you opened your eyes, you found that you hadn’t even made it halfway to Simon’s lips before something stopped you. His hand. It pressed firmly against your mouth, holding you back away from him. He wasn’t pushing you away, he had only created a barrier. A line. And he wasn’t going to let you cross it. 

“You’re drunk,” he said. It sounded so funny to hear him say it. Like it wasn’t obvious. But that’s not what he meant when he said it, and you knew it. It was an answer. It was him saying no. 

His hand lingered on your mouth for a moment and he didn’t pull it away until you nodded your head. A part of you felt ashamed. No, all of you felt ashamed. What were you thinking? Had you even been thinking at all? Was he going to see you as some idiot? Some stupid girl? 

You fucking minx. 

“Sorry,” you stuttered out, your voice trembling. “I, uhm… I didn’t mean…” 

Simon hushed you. Not to interrupt you (as there wasn’t much to interrupt to begin with,) but to soothe you. It wasn’t until he did this that you felt the moisture starting to stain your cheeks, and his hand returned to your face once more to wipe at the tears there. 

“Come here,” he urged as his hand slowly pulled you closer. 

Before you knew it you were against his chest where his hand held the back of your head, keeping you firmly tucked underneath his chin. While his hand rubbed soothing circles into your scalp, his other arm stayed wrapped firmly around your waist, making you feel secure against him despite the fact that everything still felt like it was rotating and trying to drag you along with it. 

You didn’t want to cry, but you did. An embarrassing amount, at that. It was mostly silent with sniffles here and there as the proof of your sorrow soaked into the fabric of his shirt. He didn’t say anything, and you were honestly glad he didn’t. You didn’t need to be questioned at that moment, or talked through anything. All you needed was the firm reminder that you were there with him.

Once your sniffling and hiccuping stopped, Simon’s hands slowly began to move down your body. His touch ran down your spine in smooth, solid motions, and you felt your body begin to go limp. The drowsiness of the alcohol began to shut down your nerves in a rolling blackout, and eventually it felt like every part of you was fried. 

Never had you felt so empty before. No, the emptiness had always been there, looming in the dark chasm of your chest. You had just filled it with so much junk, so much nonsense so that for some fleeting moment you could forget about the gaping hole left where your stomach was supposed to be. But Simon had torn out that unnecessary waste and stared straight into that emptiness inside of you. 

For some reason, he didn’t seem scared. 

Why wasn’t he scared? 

And so the two of you stayed like that with your legs still straddling his hips but the side of your face pressed against his newly damp shirt. Eventually the movement of his hands stopped and he just held you, still not saying anything. There was nothing but you, him, and the silence. Of course there was still the festering wound in your stomach, eating you alive from the inside out, but for that moment, that short, fleeting moment, you pretended that it wasn’t there. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

When the morning sun hit your face, you thought it wasn’t real. It was warm, and felt like liquid gold against your eyelids, just like in the way poets always described it. However, all its softness and grace did nothing to wash away the terrible ache that smothered your body. Your head was the apex of the pain, but it quickly radiated in waves down your neck, your spine, seeping into the very fiber of your bones. 

For a moment you laid there, head on the pillow, splayed on your back, staring up at the ceiling. The window was open, which was strange because you didn’t remember opening it before bed. In fact, you didn’t remember going to bed at all. Birds chirped in some tree, and you could make out the vague sounds of people shuffling about, enjoying their weekend. 

Then there was the rustling of paper bags. Brows furrowing, you propped yourself up on your elbows, trying to restrain the groan threatening to leave your throat at the movement. The door to your room was closed, muffling the sound coming from your kitchen, but it was still distinct nonetheless. 

In several slow and painful movements, you slid out of bed where your feet landed on the wooden floor. You were still wearing socks for some reason, which you found odd. In fact, you were still wearing every bit of clothing that you had worn the previous day. They felt heavy with sweat and with every emotion you drowned in. 

You turned your attention back towards your bedroom door where you carefully walked to it. The rustling of the paper bags grew louder once you opened it, and you quietly trudged down the hallway until you reached the kitchen. 

Simon stood in front of your fridge, bent over slightly as he shoved items into the shelving on the side of the door. Several bags were sprawled out on your counter where some grocery items laid between them like some odd mosaic. It didn’t take long for Simon to realize you were standing in the doorway, and he turned to you for a moment, mask obscuring his face. 

“How’re you feeling?” he asked as he went straight back to putting away those groceries. 

“Not great but… better than last night,” you admitted. 

Your attention turned back to the groceries, confused. You certainly didn’t buy them, as the gods knew you couldn’t afford that much food.

“Did… did you buy these yourself?” you questioned. 

Without turning to you, Simon opened up your breadbox where he quickly shoved a loaf of wheat bread inside. “Went to try and make breakfast for you, but when I was going through your pantry I realized there was fuck all for ingredients,” he answered nonchalantly. 

A pit formed in your stomach at that realization. He really did go out and buy you food. With his own money. Not only had you made a fool of yourself that previous night, but now he had gone and filled up your pantry for you. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you mumbled as your feet finally carried you fully into the room. 

Without wasting time, you started to rummage through the bags, pulling out items and searching for a new home for them. But you didn’t make it very far before Simon hummed and grabbed the item from your hands. 

“Nuh uh,” he said softly as he placed the item back down. He then motioned towards a small bag on the edge of the counter. A cute emblem of some sort of pastry was printed on the front of the bag. “Don’t worry about this. I need you to eat.” 

Arguing with him was useless, and you knew it, so you did as he asked. You grabbed the bag and moved towards the stove where you leaned against the side of it as you dug into the bag. A still warm strawberry danish laid inside, and you wasted little time biting into it while Simon continued to work. 

It felt… oddly domestic. As if the two of you had done this a million times before. But there was some sort of stench in the air. A tension that threatened to drown you, and you knew exactly what was causing it. 

Swallowing the bite of pastry you took, you softly prompted the conversation; “I’m sorry about last night.” 

Completely unphased by your words, Simon continued to work, having nearly finished finding a place for everything in your once empty cupboards. “Nothing to be sorry about.” 

What a lie. There was so much to be sorry about, so much you felt sorry for. Or if not sorry, then at least ashamed about. Even your nights worth of sleep couldn’t get rid of that taste in your mouth. 

“Did you go home?” you questioned. 

He shook his head. “Camped out on your sofa after putting you to bed. Thought it would be best that you weren’t alone.” 

While the image of Simon trying to scrunch himself into a comfortable position on your tiny, two seater sofa would have made you laugh any other day, you found yourself another reason to feel guilty again. His neck probably ached from it, and you knew he couldn’t have gotten decent sleep because of it. 

“Why did you stop me?” you then asked. 

The last bag of groceries had been put away, and Simon stopped his pacing around the kitchen to lean against the counter on the other side of the room from you. His hands rested flat against the surface of the counter, torso leaning forward some so that his head would hit the cabinet behind his head. 

“You were drunk,” he said simply. 

He wasn’t wrong, but then again, it never exactly stopped others before him. But he wasn’t like them. Like him. A part of you felt guilty for even expecting something like that from him. No, you hadn’t been expecting it; it’s just what you had gotten used to. 

“Don’t… don’t you want to have sex with me?” you then asked softly. 

Simon’s expression changed only a little, but it spoke volumes. His eyes softened while the muscles in his arms tensed. He continued to look at you for a moment, the silence enveloping the both of you, before he reached up and pulled his mask off of his face, tossing it onto the counter. 

It wasn’t until he started walking up to you that you realized just how tense your body had become, too. The poor pastry in your hands had almost crumbled into dust by the time he stopped in front of you. You had never seen him so serious before. But he wasn’t angry, or upset, just sincere. And maybe a little sad. 

“If we ever have sex, it’s not going to be like that,” he said, speaking it as if it was a fact. “Not with you drunk. Not with you looking at me like that.” 

A lump formed in your throat, and when you tried to swallow it you almost choked. “Like what?” you pressed, forcing yourself to hear his answer. 

“Like you’re terrified.” 

God, if you didn’t feel gutted before, you definitely did then, and you couldn’t look at him any longer. In an excuse to look away, you turned slightly and set your half-eaten pastry back in the wax paper it had come out of. Was this the part where you bared yourself? Stripped yourself down so he could count up all the scars? Ripped off your skin just to show him how deep they went? 

“I’m sorry.” The words came sputtering out of your mouth like a rusty faucet. Overused. Well known. Repeated too often. “I don’t know what came over me, or why I was trying to… I don’t know…”

Simon shook his head and a hand came up to brush against your arm. Once your eyes met his, he shook his head again as his eyes carefully scanned your face. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he said while his thumb carefully traced the side of your bicep. “Not to me. Not to anyone.” 

How did you end up there? In the kitchen, leaning against the stove, fresh bags of groceries put away by a man who wasn’t mumbling about the annoyance of it? What did you do to find yourself standing so close to the person you loved and not be terrified at the same time? It was new, and it felt nice. So nice, and so scary at the same time. 

Your arms made their home around his torso, and Simon was quick to return the gesture. He pulled you into him, trying to take the weight of it all off of you. You breathed in the scent of him and realized he was beginning to smell like home. The place where you ran to when everything else was too loud. You could be petrified in his arms for all of eternity and be perfectly satisfied. 

“Thank you,” you choked out.

As he held you in that kitchen, the one with the freshly stocked cupboards, the one that stood just next to the entryway with the freshly patched hole in the wall, you kept replaying his words. They echoed over and over in your head. 

If we ever have sex, it’s not going to be like that. 

If we ever have sex. If. It was a promise to be different, but not a promise that it would ever happen at all. There was no pressure, no ulterior motives, it just was.

For the first time in your life, you found comfort in the uncertainty of it all.

#fanfiction #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #mw2 x you #mw2 x reader #ghost mw2 #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #mw2 fanfic

[juanarc-thethird]

I have a license for that! p2

Jaune is putting his weapons away in his locker. He closes it and then-

Coco: Hello handsome~💕

Jaune: Aah!!

He immediately screams as he sees Coco leaning on the locker next to him.

Jaune: My God, Coco, you scared me!

Coco: *Chuckles* Sorry about that. So, done with your training today?

Jaune: Yeah, and my body is already super tired.

Coco: Oh really? If you want, can I help you with a massage?

Jaune: Oh no, I couldn't ask you to do that, but thank you.

Coco: Don't worry, I insist.

Jaune: Is ok, I'm fine.

Coco suddenly corners Jaune, slamming her hands against the lockers with him in the middle.

Coco: I said, I insist~

Jaune: O-Ok

Coco: Good, come with me.

She guides him around the corner and they immediately find themselves in front of the entrance to a massage room.

Jaune: Was this here before?

Coco: Of course, you never noticed it?

Jaune: Of all the times I have been here, this is the first time.

Coco: *giggles* Well, you've always been a little clueless.

Jaune: But… don't you think that decoration is a little…

The room is painted red. A carpet of the same color was located in the center under a somewhat larger than normal massage table. Around there were furniture of different shapes with lit candles giving a sweet aroma. The atmosphere feels somewhat romantic.

Jaune: ..unique?

Coco: You think about it too much. Now take off your shirt.

Jaune: On second thought… let's do this another day, okay?

Coco: Come on, don't say that. Take off your shirt.

Jaune: I'm good, thanks

Coco: Come on, let me help you. *She grabs the bottom of his shirt*

Jaune: *He takes her arms* Seriously, I'm fine.

Coco: Don't be like that, you'll like it.

Jaune: No

Coco: Just this time.

Jaune: Nop

Coco: Come on

They go back and forth arguing like children, which suddenly got a little physical.

Coco: *Pulling up his shirt* Just do it!

Jaune: *Pushing her arms down* No! Bad Coco! Bad!

Coco: Stop being a…!

She immediately tried to use all her strength to pull up his shirt. But Jaune is smarter and he let her this time. Due to an unexpected lack of resistance on Jaune's part, Coco's arms shot into the sky, freeing the shirt from her hands. Without wasting a moment, Jaune takes both of her arms with one hand, and puts her against the nearest wall, trapping her in place.

Coco: *Blushing and surprise* My Oum!

Jaune: *Serious and close to her face* Are you done?

Surprised by the unexpected situation, she is speechless.

Coco: *Red* Um… well…

At that moment a card falls from her corset.

Jaune: huh? What's that?

Coco is still fluster, she doesn't realize what's happening. Jaune takes the card and….

Jaune: What the fuck?!

Coco: W-Wha?! What Happen?! *She look at the card*

Coco: *Gasp!* That's mine!

She attempts to take her card back but Jaune won't let her.

Jaune: Hey, not so fast. Why do you have this? And what is a diamond member?

Coco: Because I want you

She says as she stares into his eyes.

Jaune: *Blushing* Eh?!

Coco, now back to her usual self, begins her "attack"

Coco: *She approaches him slowly with a seductive smile* And the diamond member thing... well, that is… WHAT IS THAT?!! *She yells as she points behind him*

Jaune: *Looks back* Huh?!

Coco takes the opportunity to recover her card and runs away from him.

Coco: See you later, handsome!

Jaune: Hey, come back!

Jaune tried to chase after her, but his body was still tired from his training.

Jaune: Damn it. I need to find some answers.

#jaune arc #jaune #rwby jaune arc #rwby jaune #coco #rwby coco #coco adel #rwby coco adel #rwby jaune x coco #jaune x coco #rwby #rwby shitpost #I have a license for that! AU

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

#personal #anyway thanks for the kind words anon #i am going to go lie down #ADHD #long post

[jazeswhbhaven]

They Do What in Where?: Attack of Kings Beelzebub Prologue *Spoilers*

TW://kink involving Autassassinophilia is mentioned

Guys. Lovelies. Girlies. Peeps. Everyone. This is only the fucking prologue and I have so many emotions but only one thing on mind.

Fucking the ever-living s h i t out of Beel.

Welcome back to Avisos, everyone. We got a good dose of it during the Beel event, but yeah yeah

Beel sniffing MC will never surprise me nor will bother me because yeah sniff away.

Horny from smelling hair? I love him. He could literally smell anything on you and would get hard this is amazing to me

So what's going on rn is that MC and Beel are on some kind of date and he's showing them around Avisos and the little stores and such. He's like having so much fun and being very clingy. May I add.

MC keeps talking about him like this and I'm like Oh...yeah same brain cell because everything about him is u g h h h hgh hsoidnk

So let me get this straight. "Everything" is legal. Like think of the worst thing you can think of and that shit is legal here. BUT being a homewrecker is where they draw the line 💀 I'm just throwing this out here, TW btw, but imagine getting thrown in jail for seducing someone else's partner to be with you but the guy across the street that literally raped and murdered someone is walking around free.

I guess that's just Avisos??? Lol

Moving on though, MC and Beel are walking up to the first store and the sign says

NGL I thought this meant something else because it's BHM in the US (hey hey all of my blk peeps out there that follow!) and I had my own joke in my head about it...BUT it's its about fucking eating demon cum as a sauce.

That's a lot of fucking sauce.

Next we have

They don't even explain what the forest of mushrooms is about. MC just says "that's all about men..." (i can imagine it's literally a fucking store full of dick) and Beel goes to explain the shop that's next to it where you can drink demon spit that's been distilled.

He's even tried it a few times and there's not much to go around.

i can imagine why...

MC is pretty much worried about other shit though and wondering what was their end destination. And well-

Hello my angry bby, yes he would be mad.

Because apparently MC was having tea with Sitri and Ppyong and the tea was too strong so Ppyong was flipping out and that's when Beel made his entrance..

Just "HEY WHATS UP?" and took them away.

With his random ass, I love him.

When Beel gets this way I always wanna cuddle his face and give him praises and kisses and words of affirmation because I feel he needs to hear that he's loved and needed along with physical touch.

But MC also wonders why everyone else seems so chill that he's just walking around when they're normally flipping out that Beel is in town. Turns out he may (or may not) have put a spell on himself so no one notices him.

So my theory is, he's simply just diguised as a common looking devil of Avisos and not himself so that's why everyone is still running into him, bumping shoulders and not paying him any mind and MC is just MC.

Or...they both could be cloaked at the moment because I'm sure they'd recognize MC maybe...but I'm only going off how they interacted with MC during his Bloodshed card at the carnival. Also he starts sniffing up on MC again and it's getting him worked up so much...

Time after time, MC is always goddamn wet around him. Idk how he fucking does this or how he manages this, but it only happens with him and I love that quirk about their dynamic.

But honestly...the fact those are his three favorite places to smell has me wondering though if he likes unwashed parts (armpits/genitals) because there's a stronger smell, and during times when someone ovulates...if he likes that scent too.

UBIASJBFKJSABFKJSDNAKZJNFKAJSNFK JS HELP??????

I'm crying he's so fucking cute. He misses MC and that's why he's being so clingy and sniffing and being close and went to find them c h ok in fg

And MC starts going through the motions, even thinking about Minhyeok (HELLO WE ARE WITH BEEL RN FOCUS) and then finally tells him that they miss him too, and Beel is just all casual like "Yeah that's why I came to get you :D" c u t i e.

So they approach a store next where there's a knife, possibly surgical because Beel explains this

Ah, so this kinda debunks my theory that the demons here can just change their gender without any kind of surgery (you know just magically change or shapeshift that sort of thing) But it seems that the Avisos' devil's reason for swapping is for spicing up their relationships. Though, I'd like to think it's there for reasons of just devil's wanting to change their gender regardless.

Which Beel brings up "it doesn't matter if you're a man or woman, the devils of Avisos will love you either way" and it's like breaking the fourth wall for us players ^^ because they wouldn't care.

So now we're coming up on another store, and a picture of a noose shows up. Now, I made a joke to myself saying this is a fashion store for the devils of Hades...but uh seems this store is-

So I paused and was like...oh like those suicide assistance capsules we have IRL...?

And well...I didn't take all the screenshots but in short, it's a cafe that panders to those who get off on the act of dying/Asphyxiation/ being killed etc. I found the closest kink name for it: Autassassinophilia. (btw if someone else knows the closer exact name feel free to educate on this!) But yeah I was like huh, that's really not surprising that they have that there. It is Avisos. It is Hell.

Here's where it gets interesting tho-

OHHH the owner is one of Luci's bois? (probably not a noble from what it sounds like...but what if...)

And MC asks if that's okay for a devil that's not from Avisos to be having a store like that here and Beel is just like

LMAO POOR BAEL. Beel literally just lets him do everything and he can't be bothered to even know or care about the rules of his own country („ಡωಡ„)

So the date seems to come to a stopping point, and Beel calls it a "shelter". Well..

First I turned the sound on (I keep it off if there's no voice acting involved) and well the sounds from chapter one's porno thing MC was watching was used for the devil guy and chick that are randomly fucking in the "shelter" when MC and Beel first enter.

MC is literally me because they're like "Oh uh I think we're in the wrong place." And Beel's like :D NOPE!

And then there's also me, noticing that the couch is covered in fucking whatever and I'm like

im sorry that's fucking nasty please clean the damn couch 💀💀💀💀

So the reason he tells MC to say this...is because he slips their shirt off just all casual like and is teasing "Oh were you trying to help me???" YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU AIN'T SLICK. (lovingly)

This is the last screenshot I took because anything else was mostly just MC being like "wow so uh this is about to happen isn't it..." and then it cuts out as the end of the prologue.

BTW what I learned by getting the Bloodshed cards and having read the prologues to them beforehand, they literally give us the first story node in the unholy board to read so one could pretty much skip reading it when they unlock it (unless they didn't take a peek at the prologue but that's just my observation)

I'm personally gonna wait until they make it in the regular gacha pool, but I did peep that the first 10 pull is half the amount of seals...which is a good tactic to getting folks to pull with the seals. I'm saving them up though for something I reallllyyyyy want possibly a Lucifer card or something in the future. But already....Beel's is making me feel some things and seeing his sprite with that tank top is having me act the fuck up.

ANYWAYS happy pulling everyone ^^ see you when I do Levi's prologue next~

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb beelzebub #whb spoilers #whb screencaps #new card stuff! #beel is so damn hot i can't #i laugh at stupid shit sometimes i swear #tw kink mention #cw bodily fluids

[txtmetonight]

Garlicky Revenge ✆

call summary ⋆ ★ Jungwon hates your new punishment

pairing *. * Vampire! Yang Jungwon x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ Fluff

warnings *. crude language, it's just really fluffy lol, grammar mistakes

call duration⋆ ★ 824

a/n*. * I loved this one but please tell me why it took me forever to find a pic for the banner oml and he's so cute i'm gonna cry help me

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet

“(Y/n), you’re not serious, are you?”

“As serious as I can be, Jungwon!” You scoff, turning away to withhold a growing smile on your face, yet it slowly diminishes when your eyes water from the intense smell, strung upon your neck.

“You can’t refuse me like this, love! You… you don’t even like it either, I can see it on your face!” He points an accusatory finger at you, making you burst into loud chuckles before you shake your head.

“You told me that you would stop sneaking behind me like that when I was in the bathroom. I almost had a fucking heart attack because of you yesterday. This is what you get now.”

Jungwon cringes at the way garlic moves when you sway back and forth, waiting for him to take a step closer, a rather smug grin on your face when his lips quirk down into a nastier grin. “This isn’t fair!” He whines, sounding like a petulant toddler. “I’ve missed you so much and you won’t even let me hug you?! I think I might actually die.”

“You’re not going to die, Wonnie. Plus, you’ve lived without me for like… 400 years before. What’s another week?” You’re teasing; the stench was already giving you a well-deserved headache, so it wouldn’t be long before you took the odd neckwear off. But it was still amusing to see the way that he freezes completely, going paler than he was before.

“You–you’re kidding? A week?! I’m not waiting for that long!” He cries, and before you know it, a small black cat appears just where Jungwon stands, its eyes already pulled to mimic great sorrow.

It meows and wails pitifully, pawing the living room carpet, knowing well enough that cats were preferably your biggest weakness. A trump card played well by your boyfriend whenever times become desperate.

“Oh, you can’t do that to me!? That’s so not fair!”

The cat (Jungwon) rolls over in despair and raises a furry paw over its head to mimic death, letting out a shrill cry. Rounding the island countertop, you finally sigh and give in by taking off the garlic and wiping your neck and hands with a wet washcloth while you try to trap some of the anger you were feeling before.

But how could you even be furious at him, even when he transforms back into his normal self, sharp canines glinting while he happily smiles at you, his back on the ground? Your heart swells at the sight, and butterflies skim your stomach. “I fucking hate you, Yang Jungwon,” you grumble, yet you couldn’t help but scoot a little closer to him sheepishly.

Perhaps you did miss him more than you wanted to admit.

“Really? Well, that’s a shame because I really love you, pretty girl.” Jungwon pats next to him, and when you point at your neck, where the spice left its odor on your skin, he waves it off dismissively. “A really big shame,” you giggle when he slightly gags at your arm touching his cheek. Nevertheless, he pulls you closer and pretends to chomp on your hand, your cheeks turning red as he puts a soft kiss to where he bit you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I was going to die if you weren't in my life anymore.”

You shake your head and press a chaste kiss to his jaw. “Me too. I don’t think I can imagine my future without you.”

“Yeah, but would you drive a stake through your heart for me?” He jokes but then goes silent when you just stare at him, eyes swirling with so much love, his non-beating heart thrumming alive for a few moments, just under your gaze.

“I would willingly live with you for eternity.”

Jungwon’s eyes grow wide as he gets up from his position to look at you in awe. “No, you woul–”

“I would really. For you, Wonnie… I suppose I would do anything,” you say, and before he could say anything, you pull him into a kiss, soft and sweet. His fingers cascade the side of your face gently, and your hand encases itself in his hair, tugging it lightly when he wouldn’t let you take a breath.

“I love you. I really do,” he quietly says.

“I love you too.”

And the moment goes silent for a while, your lips just ghosting over him in a tender peace you wished would last forever. With him by your side.

But then the gentle second is lost when Jungwon opens his stupid mouth, earning a hit from you.

“You said you would do anything, yeah? First off, please don’t ever punish me with garlic ever again; I was seriously going to cry!”

“Really? Next time, I’m going to move houses and never ever invite you inside!”

Jungwon gasps and clutches his shirt dramatically. It makes you roll your eyes, but you rub your cheek over his chest in affection.

“You wouldn’t dare!”

#enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #k-labels #enhypen #enha #enhypen imagines #enhypen jungwon #enhypen x you #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #jungwon #jungwon fluff #jungwon enhypen #enha x reader #enha imagines #enha fluff #enha scenarios #engene #kpop x reader #kpop ff #kpop fanfic #kpop

[sugar-grigri]

An overlay of games

Two injured arms? What are you trying to tell us, Fujimoto ?

The interesting thing about the first part of the chapter is this page in which Denji hesitantly answers. It's another way of accentuating his existential crisis, even when he's called an impostor, Denji can't defend his position firmly and confidently.

It's normal, he's still bound by the dilemma of the public hunters who have forbidden him to reveal and be Chainsaw Man himself, and above all he's competing with the impostor for his own identity.

Denji isn't THAT scandalized by being pointed out as a wannabe CSM because he is one now, he's been so robbed of his identity that he's almost willing to become himself.

This chapter also hints at the fact that the public hunters don't agree on everything, probably because of a hierarchy or unity game. For example, some hunters only thought that the church was having fun playing CSM, not knowing that it was fighting against the prophecy of Nostradamus.

However, this information was gathered by Yoshida through his interview with Fami, but it remained highly confidential. Here again, this public hunter doesn't know that Denji is CSM. In short, information isn't leaking out of the Special Division 7.

Yoshida is the mediator between the public hunters and Denji, but also with the church with Fami. Katana, Quanxi and the possessed man with the dripping brain are the henchmen. Fumiko is the one in charge of preventing any temptation on Denji's part to get closer to the church.

But there's something else that I find even more interesting that follows this point. If we try to untangle everyone's role. We end up with Yoshida; Quanxi; Katana; the possessed one with the overflowing brain; Fumiko; Denji and on the other, on the church side, we have Fami, Barem, Miri, the weapon of the whip, the bow and finally Asa. That's six against six.

Asa's room is 606. And as I've explained several times, Fujimoto tends to play with numbers in this part 2. So I'm going to try and give you an explanation.

When I saw that not only Quanxi had her arm bruised but Yoshida had sliced Asa's arm, the first thing I thought was "a tie". On one side we have Quanxi losing her arm to protect while on the other we have Yoshida attacking with a slice. The fact remains that an arm has been lost on each side, so there's a certain balance.

Let me remind you that there are six against six in this game, and nobody has won any points yet, which makes 0. 6 0 6, ball in the middle.

I sincerely believe that what Fujimoto is setting up is a form of game, a war in which we're going to have to keep score. Barem is called Barem BRIDGE, a card game of 2. against 2. This time it's not just a game about the clan war but the whole manga: Fami and Barem on one side, the demon of Death and maybe Fake! CSM on the other

Did you know that one of the players called himself the dead man? ;))))))

I think the human usurper and fake!CSM are two different entities because the demon has twice interfered with Fami's plan by eliminating the fire demon (Yuko) and saving Denji and Asa.

But it doesn't stop there, so let me come back to a few bridge rules (I don't know how to play, so if I'm wrong, please correct me). The game opens with the "contract", i.e. declarer commits to making a given number of tricks. Just like the beginning of the game in CSM started with Barem announcing his contract with the fire demon.

A game of bridge is played in several moves, each move corresponding to a deal. Each player holds 13 cards, which they have arranged in a row to form what is known as their "deck" or "hand". Again, this is not to say that game 2 works exactly like bridge (and its horribly complex rules) but rather to emphasise the symbolism.

Every time one of the sides moves, an injury occurs, a limb is neutralised or even pulverised.

I wanted to end this analysis with the "strong" part of the chapter, Yoru's return in force. I was stuck on the symbolism of the arm, its symbolism in art and its relationship to war. So much so that I forgot to read the line: Yoru is a team player, she speaks as "we".

And then everything fell into place. There's a contrast between Yoru's exaltation and the fact that she's still missing a member. But everything makes sense with this fusion introduced by the "we".

Yoru is missing nothing, not even an arm, and Asa has become the perfect continuity of her being and her limbs.

Asa may have transformed her flat, her home, but she hasn't lost her bearings, because each of these girls has become the home of the other.

While Denji denies the duality of his being, Asa is embracing it.

While Yoru, even without her arm, feels her strength reaching its peak thanks to her completeness with Asa.

Now, don't you think that making room 606 a weapon whose number symbolizes the status quo is just the beginning of hostilities?

To be obsessed with victory, even if it means leaving your mark, isn't that the definition of waging war?

Or is it just playing a card game ?

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 148 #csm 147 #csm 146 #csm 143 #csm 142 #csm 133 #csm 128 #csm 111 #denji hayakawa #nayuta hayakawa #my thoughts #asa mitaka #barem bridge #yoshida hirofumi #fami #death devil #katana man #quanxi #fumiko mifune #Yuko #yoru