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lurkingshan · 3 months

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Cherry Magic Episode 12

MY HEART IS FO FULL. This adaptation has exceeded my wildest expectations to become one of my favorite bls of all time. They really put their backs into it and gave us everything we could want for these characters, and I will always be grateful. This show managed to be a faithful manga adaptation, a loving homage to the jbl, and a fresh take on the story all at once. An amazing feat to pull off and this creative team deserves so much love and kudos.

The way Achi and Karan have grown together over the course of this show has been fantastic to witness. I love how seriously the show took their growth, and that we got to see them put in the work to improve their communication and become a great team. Meeting the parents was a big step for them, especially because they were uncertain how their respective families would react, but I loved that they were so open with each other throughout about how they were feeling. I loved, too, that we got a contrast, with Achi's mom being so warm and loving (but still managing to get a dig in on her son, lmao) and Karan's being more avoidant and passive aggressive and needing a talking to her from her eldest child to get her shit together. I love that the drama created space for things to not go perfectly with the parents, and to show us that people can be moved to acceptance.

We got a bit of a parallel with that message in Jinta and Min's story this week, with Min's fans initially attacking Jinta, but backing off once Min named him as his faen and asked them to respect his relationship. I like the choice to model positive fan behavior, and it felt a bit pointed from this production company. Both with Pai and now with this new group of fans, the show has said consistently that being a fan should be about love and support, not control. That you can admire your idols but you also need to give them privacy. That it's not your place to judge who they love. I just love that message.

Of course, I have to talk about the mutual proposal and the wedding. I am pretty sure Karan has been carrying that ring around in his pocket since the second day of dating, but it was such a welcome surprise to see that Achi had already made his own plans, too. The show really succeeded in taking this relationship from something that felt a little one-sided to a very mutual partnership I can believe in. I teared up when right along with Karan when Achi followed Karan's proposal with his own, and you could see how much it meant to him to know that Achi is really truly on the same page. Getting to see their wedding and the love surrounding them on their special day was the cherry (lol) on top of this fantastic love story. I also absolutely loved the wink to the jbl elevator non-kiss in the way they framed their final married couple kiss and then cut away from the bed.

Continuing the love fest, I also love the changes this version made to the side couple's story. Min getting to fulfill his dream, Jinta being an excellent supportive partner, their agreement that they will marry someday when they're ready--it was all just lovely. The nod to the jbl pen proposal was cute, and I love that they took it a step further by drawing rings on each other. The flip in the sexual relationships was also quite welcome, with that triumphant arc reserved for the main couple in this version. Jinta ended the show with his magical powers still intact, but it didn't seem like that would be the case for long.

As for Rock and Pai, I am happy with how the show handled their story. To the end, Pai stayed true to herself, and Rock came to know her better and understand what kind of romantic relationship he could reasonably expect from her. She will always have her head more on her ships than on her own love life, and he seems okay with it. I think you can still take an aroace read on this Pai if you choose, and I appreciate that the show made space for that. I like, too, that Pai helped Rock reconnect with his own passion for dancing and find a fun outlet for his creativity. They were another reinforcement of this show's overarching themes about the importance of kindness, support, and clear communication in relationships.

This show left me with such a warm feeling. I'm so glad they stuck the landing, that episode 8 never happened, and that we can rewatch and remember this Cherry Magic so fondly. I never expected Thailand to go so above and beyond the original live action drama, but they have undoubtedly delivered my favorite version of this story.

#cherry magic th #cherry magic thailand #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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myreygn · 7 months

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kny modern au - characters: hashira

includes: gyomei, tengen, giyuu, sanemi, obanai, kanae, kyojuro, mitsuri, shinobu, muichiro

HUGE thanks and shout out to @giggly-squiggily and @trans-ace-lee for their contributions to this au and indulging my brainrots ♡

inspiration was taken from the german school system because that's what i grew up and am most familiar with:

ages 2-6 (flexible, not mandatory): kindergarten

ages 6-10 (grades 1-4): elementary school

ages 10/11-16/17 (grades 5-10): "secondary school", the diploma qualifies you for an education outside of university (craft sector, social sector etc)

ages 16/17-18/19 (grades 11-12): "upper school", the diploma qualifies you for university

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

Himejima Gyomei (27, theology major)

grew up in a buddhist orphanage after his parents gave him up because they were ableist idiots who didn't want to raise a blind child

had a very happy childhood, has never been adopted and isn't upset about it in the slightest

went on a spiritual journey for five years after school and wrote a bestseller book about it

started going to university at age 23, helps out at the orphanage whenever he can

has a seeing-eye dog named Curry (a four year old black labrador and the only being on earth he would kill for, he got her when he returned from his journey)

can afford his own flat and lives right next to the orphanage with Curry

advocate for a more inclusive university life and very active in groups fighting for disability rights, both on and off campus

Uzui Tengen (23, music major)

was somewhat of a public figure from a very young age because the Uzui clan is one the richest, most powerful families in the country and everyone in town knows who they are

always hated his parents and moved out at 18, got a small fortune (that's rich people slang for a ton of money, source: trust me) from a cool uncle and used it to open a night club which is very popular with the locals

has no contact to his siblings (even tho he'd like to) and avoids all of his dad's properties like the plague

started going to university at age 20 because he wanted to do something with his passion

plays a bunch of instruments (piano, harp, guitar, violin, shamizen, koto and like ten different types of flute)

lives with his girlfriends in an almost-a-mansion and throws the best partys anyone has ever been to

Tomioka Giyuu (21, philosophy major)

his parents died when he was three years old and him and his sister went through foster care until she came off age and became his legal guardian, they're super close

has been studying several martial arts at Urokodaki's dojo since he was in elementary school

picked philosophy as a major because he had no idea what else to do but it's actually fun??

he mostly just sits in the back and draws stick figures but once a week he'll say something that makes everyone rethink their entire life (no one really understands what's happening inside his head but his professors are convinced he's a genius)

teaches little kids in the dojo because Urokodaki thinks it'd be good for him, he's slowly warming up to it

the type of peanut allergy where his throat closes up at the sight of them, when they were in fifth grade Sanemi almost killed him because he didn't know about it and it delayed their friendship by roughly two years

Shinazugawa Sanemi (21, physics major)

abusive pos dad got stabbed when he was ten, helped his mom raise his younger siblings and is super close with all of them

moved out at 20 when his mom encouraged him to spend more time at university, roommates with Obanai, Giyuu and Sabito

colorblind from birth and dysgraphic when it comes to handwriting, uses recording devices and laptops in class

used to get into a lot of fights in school and still works on not doing that™, most people think he's scary and a delinquent (and also a murderer because it's kinda sus that none of the family members showed up at their dad's funeral)

biker, the motorcycle has wind art on it and he mostly uses it to pick up the tons of children that somehow snuck into his friend circle and take Kanae on drives, loves bringing his guitar to play her something in the moonlight

suffered through school for the most part, a new teacher (Kagaya) in tenth grade inspired him to finish "upper school" and study physics

loves Gyomei's dog like a daughter

Kocho Kanae (21, biology major)

lives with her family and has no plans of moving out until she finishes university, helps a ton in the household

the best big sister ever, drives all of her sisters and their friends around and picks them up at 3am when they're stranded somewhere (also doesn't pretend to hate it, unlike certain other older siblings with their own vehicles)

has always been into gardening and is really getting into permaculture, puts plants wherever she can and loves flowers

most of her cooking ingredients are from her own garden, vegetarian (everything she cooks or bakes will be the best thing you ever ate)

has the voice of an angel, Sumi, Kiyo and Naho refuse to go to bed without her singing them a lullaby

christmas is her favorite time of the year, she goes all out with planning the festivities and getting everyone gifts and needs three whole days to recharge afterwards

has to wear a biteguard when she's stressed because she'll start clenching her teeth in her sleep and works really hard to keep it a secret from everyone

Iguro Obanai (21, philosophy major)

somewhat of a local legend, not by his own doing but by people just making shit up about him

grew up in a cult of which all the members were killed in a fire with him being the only survivor and a huge news story all across the country at age 12

moved to another city as soon as he was old enough to start anew but the rumors follow him everywhere (and it doesn't help that he talks to his snake)

mostly annoyed by the rumors but also likes to use them to scare people of who are being super pushy or harassing his friends (that's the first time in his life he found friends, he can and will commit atrocious crimes on their behalf)

originally enrolled in zoology, then switched majors when the professors wanted to use Kaburamaru as a test subject

spends his time in philosophy class taking a stance against whatever Giyuu says and has an entire folder filled with essays criticizing his statements

always carries headphones with him, listens to lofi because he likes it, mcr because he feels it in his soul and doom metal solely to fuck with tengen ("Screaming is not music!")

Rengoku Kyojuro (20, history major)

still lives at home with his dad and brother because he didn't want to leave Senjuro behind, spends most of his time out of the house tho and is looking for a flat right now

works parttime at a restaurant that's called Umainia and his friends have yet to figure out whether he says "Umai" all the time because he likes his food or to advertise his work place

slightly hearing impaired, has hearing aids prescribed that he just forgets to put in at all times

doesn't have a driver's license, goes by bike everywhere no matter the weather

gets close to people easily, is well beloved amongst Senjuro's friends and also makes an effort to get to know them so he can be sure Senjuro's in good hands

regularly forgets people's names but never their birthdays

collects old books and learned a bunch of old languages just to be able to read them

Kanroji Mitsuri (19, art major)

still lives at home because she wants to stay with her family and help take care of her siblings, also claims that she had invested too much time in her room to just leave it behind (her room looks like every cool fluffy fairy core room you have ever seen on pinterest, it's the coziest place on earth)

if there's a sanrio themed version of stuff she needs, she's getting it, no questions asked.

slightly allergic to dogs, she doesn't care though and cuddles with Curry all the time, she calls it confrontation therapy (it works)

animal lover in general, she even built a little terrarium in her room so Kaburamaru has a comfy spot for his naps when Obanai stays over

has kept every drawing she ever made and sometimes looks through them for inspiration, also likes to track her progress that way

there's a coffee shop across the street from her house where she has been customer of the month every month consistently for four years as well as an honorary mention ever since she was six

Kocho Shinobu (18, student)

in her last year of school and likely about to graduate with a perfect score

founder and president of the first aid club, also head of the student council and an active member on every committee the school has to offer

recently got her driver's license but keeps it a secret so she doesn't have to play chauffeur for her sisters

effectively avoids getting asked out for dates by being very scary™ (and taking jiu jitsu classes since elementary school), she's also your go to person when creepy weirdos won't leave you alone

loves cooking with her sisters and often shares her own recipes with Kanao, she also has her own little corner in Kanae's garden where she plants stuff that she uses to make her own medicine

has a lot on her plate with school and her clubs and some volunteer stuff she does here and there, so she goes to the local animal shelter once a week to cuddle and play with the cats and dogs there, it's her little safe zone to unwind and she doesn't tell anyone about it

the biggest fan of psychological thrillers you will ever meet

Tokito Muichiro (14, student)

in eighth grade and no one knows how he did it but everyone suspects that his brother took at least some of his exams in his place

he's not bad at school per se but he just can't memorize stuff, you're lucky if he knows your name after sitting next to each other for six months

is a member of the cooking club tho and absolutely thriving there, he never goes by recipe and creates the most delicious things but he won't tell anyone his secret ingredients because he can't remember them either

absolutely loves visiting his friends' houses, he's so happy seeing how their rooms reflect them

followed Yuichiro everywhere all throughout elementary school, then made his first friend in fifth grade (Tanjiro of course) and has been getting more and more independent ever since

constantly misses bus stops or takes trains in the wrong direction and is always late because of it, however he has also acquired an extensive knowledge of the town and can give you directions to pretty much everywhere

tries his very best to remember his friends' birthdays but forgets his own every year because it just kinda slips his mind that he has the same birthday as Yuichiro

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yujo-nishimura · 6 months

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The Escape - Part 28

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27

I am still not done with this story. All was written during Nanowrimo and is therefore not edited. I feel like Upton Sinclair just writing writing and writing non-stop. Not all of this is good, but I hope you all can find it a bit entertaining. ;)

The next morning when you wake up you find yourself still laying in Buggys bed, to cover your naked body you are comfortably tucked into his sheet, feeling warm and well rested. Buggy himself is not in the cabin, he probably had to get up earlier and didn't want to wake you up. You stretch and look outside the window, it looks like a beautiful morning, you can hear the seagulls over the open sea, the sun is lightening up your face and your arms resting on his pillow. How would you have loved to wake up next to him, but then you probably wouldn't have let him go for the rest of the day, being totally infatuated with him, wanting to be with him the whole time. Why did you had to fall for the captain? The time you both were able to spend together was probably limited to nights like last night.

You sigh, do not want to get up, but also do not want to make the crew suspicious.

You push the sheets away, grabbing your clothes from the floor and dress to leave the cabin. Buggy had no intentions to fold your clothes, but you wanted to show him that you cared and you made his bed, putting the pillow and the blanket into order.

As you now carefully open the door, peek out before leaving the cabin. You sincerely hope that no one would see you coming alone from Buggys room.

“Y/n!”, you hear a cheerful glee behind you, knowing immediately it was Mohji.

“Dammit!”, you whisper to yourself before turning around and trying to smile at him as good as you can in this embarrassing moment for you.

“Mohji, good morning!”

“Good morning. Are you searching for the Captain? He is not in his cabin!”

Relieved about this cluelessness you nod: “I realized that. Can you let me know where I can find him?”

“He went down to the kitchen, since he missed breakfast this morning I assumed he just got something for himself…”

“Thanks, Mohji!”, you quickly want to escape this slightly embarrassing moment before he can ask any more questions.

“Wait up, Y/n. You got something there…!” He stops you before you can walk towards the hatch, trying to enter the ship's belly. You are shocked and surprised as he carefully lifts his hand, asking “May I?”, and without waiting for your answer, gently rubbing over your cheek two times.

He then draws his hand back, you can see red clown makeup on his fingers. “Looked like you smeared something on your face…!”, he cuckles innocently and you are not sure if he realized what this was or not.

Without saying another word you turn around on your heel, making it quickly to the hatch, holding your face, in surprise and embarrassment. You quickly needed to find a mirror and check if there was not more proof of you and Buggy being intimate last night. “Damn clown.”, you utter to yourself as you climb down the hatch, reaching the hall leading to the kitchen, the bathroom and your own little room. To the bathroom first! you decide and quickly walk towards it without hesitation. Before you reach the little enclosed space the door to the kitchen swings open and Buggy steps out, all dressed with hat and coat, even his make up seems to be freshened up. He is holding a tray with food and immediately stops as he sees you.

“I was just on the way to you to bring you some late breakfast. You slept so long you missed it…” “So did you, no?”, you smile at him playfully as you inspect the tray. “Can you bring it to my room? I was just about to go to the bathroom..”, you add and he willingly nods. As you enter the bathroom you realize that you had just asked your captain for a favor and he had followed your command without hesitation. Had the tables finally turned after last night?

As you come back to your room Buggy is not there, but he has left you the breakfast as promised. While you eat you wonder how you got yourself into this situation and how you were able to be so honest with him last night. Even the former Snowland pirates which you stayed with for several months did not know about your past and you always managed to escape eventual marine attacks to hide your identity from the marines and your former fellow crew members. Having a bounty on your head makes you always distrust people. Most of them were just friendly to you to later inform the marines to pick you up and imprison you. You look out of the small window in your cabin while holding on to the piece of bread you were chewing on. Back in the days when the whole incident happened and the whole village was going after you, calling you a murderer and anarchist Luffy was the only one who had believed your innocence and who had stuck with you the whole time. This is why you had always hoped to meet Luffy again one day and join his pirate crew. He was the only one who would have defended your innocence and pride until the end.

But now this person was Buggy, Luffy's very opponent and a notorious pirate who was actually not someone who cared much about protecting anybody besides himself and his treasures. You had never thought when you left your village that you would one day end up here, not only as his crew mate but also as Buggys lover.

You sigh as you finish up the breakfast and decide to bring it back by yourself to the kitchen. You felt more safe and protected here than you ever felt before in your life, so maybe you should just get used to the thought of being with the Buggy pirates now.

As you open the door your gaze sticks again with the beautiful dress which has not been worn once yet. “Your time will come!”, you silently whisper, more to yourself than to the piece of fabric at your door. As you leave your room you immediately realize something is off. The silence in the hallway is suspicious. There are no sounds from pots and pans in the kitchen, there are not the usual sounds coming from the ships deck. You suddenly feel a movement behind you, like a shadow. As you try to quickly turn around you feel a sharp pain on your head, seeming to go through your very bones and you moan in pain before you feel the world falling into darkness in front of you.

#one piece #one piece buggy #buggytheclown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #long fanfic #nanowrimo 2023 #long reads

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akirakirxaa · 9 months

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FFXIVWrite Prompt 13: Check

Rating: M

Word Count: 1169

Warnings: Mild descriptions of blood

Summary: Persephone's made her decision, and now she has to go through with it. [Vampire AU, Hythazemet, Continuation of Prompt 12.]

Master Post

Persephone fidgeted nervously, rubbing her arms to try to chase the chill of the house away. Her warm and cozy robe they'd given her was set off to the side, so it wouldn't get dirty, Hythlodaeus had said. A little part of her brain still thought she was crazy, completely mad, but not only did she just desire to keep living, but her lavender haired host was kind and friendly, someone she could see wanting to get to know better and have in her life. Someone she wouldn't be afraid to ask questions of when…

No, not ready to think about that, it seems.

But his…friend? Roommate? Lover? She still wasn't completely sure what their dynamic was, but it was clear Hades was more cold, calculating, and withdrawn. A real hermit of a vampire compared to Hythlodaeus. She wasn't too sure what to make of him yet, but if he was willing to help save her life, then he couldn't be all bad, right?

Earlier that evening, after she blurted out her decision, he'd appeared in the library. Hythlodaeus had jumped up excitedly to tell him the news while she shrank a little into her robe, aware that the chair she sat in was Hades'.

"Did you hear? She decided she wants to stay!" her new friend smiled, but Hades just scowled an exasperated frown.

"Wonderful. I suppose we're going to need to invest in extra furniture then," he commented dryly. He and Hythlodaeus then discussed how and where best to perform this ritual, and now here they were, in the smaller guest room. Hythlodaeus had mentioned it because he remembered having strong chills during his "infection" and figured a smaller room would be easier to heat without making the rest of the house unbearable. She winced as she reached up and started peeling the bandage from around her neck, dried blood pulling at her skin as she did.

"That brute really did a number on you," Hades commented from just by her shoulder, causing her to jump. He took her chin and moved her head back and to the side to check the marks there. "You can rest assured I'll not be so careless."

"Uh, thanks?" She swallowed awkwardly as he released her, and he fell silent again, moving to sit at the edge of the bed.

"Go on," Hythlodaeus gave her a little nudge between her shoulders. "I'll be right here." And somehow that did make her feel better about it, even though she'd known both of them for roughly the same amount of time. And that amount of time being hardly any at all.

"How do I know this isn't all just some setup to get me to trust you, hmm?" She meant it jokingly, but when her feet refused to move she wondered how much of a joke it really was.

"You're welcome to wait out the bite you have and see what happens," Hades droned. She bit her lip. It's true, if she really thought they were lying, she could just say no and leave. And if she was wrong she'd turn into a mindless monster and do this to more people…

"No, no, I'll do it," she said more firmly. She walked over but then stopped awkwardly. "Um, what am I supposed to do?" Hades rolled his eyes.

"Told her everything, did you?" He quipped at Hythlodaeus, then addressed her. "Sit here, facing away." He patted his legs.

"I feel like I'm a kid going to see a mall Santa," she muttered, following instructions. "Now what?"

"Hold your arms out in front of you, wrists up. They don't have to be straight in front, you can rest them on your lap," he continued, and she obeyed, resting her arms with her wrists up on her knees.

"Why does it matter where my arms are?"

"Because there are magic symbols he needs to draw there," Hythlodaeus chimed in helpfully. It didn't ease her anxiety.

"Magic symbols, right," she muttered, then felt breath at her neck. "Wait, wait, I'm not-!" Hythlodaeus knelt before her, resting his hands in hers and not breaking eye contact.

"It's okay, it won't be like before, okay?" He ran his thumbs over her fingers, trying to soothe. "It'll be done before you know it." She took a few steadying breaths before nodding. A comfy, well lit room, she wasn’t alone, wasn’t being chased… Yes, this was nothing like before. She could do this. Before she had the chance to say anything else, Hades sank his teeth into her neck.

Persephone couldn’t help but yelp and try to pull away, but an arm around her shoulders kept her still, and Hythlodaeus continued holding her hands; a moment later she would feel bad for squeezing so tightly, but he didn’t seem to mind. The initial sharp, stabbing pain faded, and she took a deep breath. It didn’t hurt as sharply now, only a dull ache. She felt fingers, Hades’ she realized, prod at her neck, then move to her wrists. Trying not not move her neck too much less the wounds pull, she glanced down to see him drawing an ornate sigil on one wrist with what she realized was her own blood. She watched him finish the one, then draw its mirror on the other. Persephone felt the pressure increase on her neck; she tried to stay stoic, but a small whimper escaped, anyway.

Then he released her, and it was like he’d done nothing at all, her neck feeling just the same as before. Perhaps even better than when she’d woken. Hythlodaeus helped her up, quickly cleaning her neck but leaving the sigils on her wrists where they were.

“How long do these have to stay?” she asked, peering at one as he led her to the small chair at the desk. A small mirror hung on the wall where Persephone could see that her neck had healed over, even where she’d just been bitten, leaving only some deep, dark bruises.

“Until the change is complete,” Hades answered as he stood, straightening his clothes where they’d wrinkled. She blinked at him.

“You don’t think it’ll, I don’t know, smudge?” Persephone asked, and Hythlodaeus chuckled.

“Try wiping it off,” he invited, and though she worried about messing up the process, she felt confident he wouldn’t set her up like that. Persephone scrubbed at her wrist with her thumb.

The sigil didn’t move, even a little bit.

“Magic,” Hythlodaeus said with a smirk. “It’s good for some things.”

“Why didn’t you use it to fix my neck in the first place?” she asked, with just a slight pout.

“It’s part of the ritual. The sigils fixed your wounds. The bruising will fade too before the process is done,” Hades explained. She gave a little acknowledging nod.

“So…how long until I start feeling like I’d really like some Nyquil?” Persephone tried to joke about it, but the worry was still there. Hythlodaeus’ face softened into an understanding smile.

“We shall see.”

#ffxiv #vampire au #modern au #hythazemet #oc: persephone 'azem'#azem #hythlodaeus #emet-selch #i'm obsessed with this au i'm sorry #y'all are just gonna have to like vampires for a while okay lol #ffxivwrite2023 #ffxivwrite #my fanfiction #my writing #technically these are rough drafts since I'm just slapping them up without edits so be kind #if this ever goes on ao3 there will be editing #ship: distant skies

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canary0 · 10 months

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Aug. 1st - Dracula 2021

The Log of the Demeter

Fog has settled in over the English Channel, and the engines are down. The men are trying to figure out what the problem is, but the more experienced member of the engineering team already disappeared. We may have overstressed it in our haste. We're adrift, but moving, and the sense of doom, that cold knowledge that your end has arrived, is stronger than ever as we draw ever closer to wherever we're going. The mate is disheartened now even more than the others.

---

Mina Murray's Journal

I came up to the abbey ruin, just Lucy and I to have some girl's time and do some wedding planning. She wants to hold mine as soon as Mr. Holmwood returns from his father's side and Mr. Hawkins is able to come up. I will admit, I also made something of an odd invitation - Dr. Stankiewicz. I don't know if she'll accept since it's so soon and so far, but we wouldn't be able to get married if she hadn't helped Jonathan.

Either way, we went up, and the older woman we met before was there at Lucy's spot. I greeted her warmly and introduced Lucy. They took to one another immediately; Lucy's always been good with the elderly. She had considered becoming a nurse at one time to work with them, but the whole idea of her being around so much sickness made her mother terribly upset with anxiety.

We got onto the topic of the graves around us again, and she gave a warm chuckle. "Do you know? My great-grandfather, whom I told you about before, believed that the reason people have gravestones was to present evidence that they were a good person when they got to heaven. He said they all lugged these big stones up to the pearly gates and showed them to Gabriel and St. Peter!"

Lucy's eyes went wide, and she covered a giggle with both hands. I admit that it was not only what she said, but likely my expression that caused it, as I was quite confused, and voiced it. "Wouldn't it be better to make something more portable? And... detailed?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "I thought that too! Of course, he passed before I was old enough to think of that and get an answer." We all couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Though he was right that many of these gravestones don't have the truth on them, which was part of his argument. This is a coastal town, with a lot of fishing - though there's less business for that after the Brexit nonsense, don't get me started, dear - so you can imagine how many of them went."

Lucy nodded. "Oh... yes, they must have been lost at sea, so they wouldn't be here."

"Indeed!" She chuckled. "Actually, I didn't understand it at the time because I was terribly young, but the family thought to respect his belief with his inscription. Come here, let me show you."

She guided us over to where somewhat newer graves began and gestured to a tombstone. I read it aloud.

Victor Swales 1819-1897 Beloved father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. St. Peter & Gabriel: He's really a decent sort. Please go easy on him.

Lucy covered her mouth. "Oh dear! Isn't that a little sacrilegious?"

She grinned, showing some missing teeth. "Well, the two of them can take it up with the family when judgment day comes."

I noted, "You have his last name still - did your husband take your name?"

"Never did have one of those, dear."

Lucy looked surprised. "Really? From your manner, I could have sworn you were a grandmother."

"Oh, I am!" She replied. "Don't need a husband for that. But it's getting toward time to go. My daughter is visiting, and I don't want to keep her waiting."

We were surprised, but we both waved, giving our goodbyes.

(A/N: Fuck's sake, Mina, while is the entry after I've driven 12 hours so damn long? @_@ Time to get some rest.

I included a few fun things in this chapter, but particular shout out to the non-ace aros! I wanted to use the last name, but she also struck me as a grandma, so... there you go. XD)

#dracula daily #dracula 2023 #fanfic #just for fun #modern retelling #lucy westenra #mina murray

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vulturevanity · 9 days

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There is a warm presence living in my chest. It is a stranger.

I genuinely don't remember a time I've connected with my inner self. Though not officially diagnosed yet, I'm autistic, I'm pretty sure; and we sometimes tend to not notice our emotions until they burst out in uncontrollable storms, if at all. Mine don't do that, though, they're more like being plugged into an outlet with the wrong voltage that's constantly sending just a little too much power through the fuse until it blows and everything goes dark. It's the only outlet around, and I need the power, so all I can do is leave it there and use as little of the machinery as possible. But the cost of changing the fuses is starting to pile up.

I don't remember a lot of my teen years. The (not many) memories I have are descriptive -- I know they happened, I can recall them as faded photos in an album and warped voices in an old cassette tape. I wasn't there, though, I'm just experiencing them as if someone's showing them to me, reminiscing about embarrassing teen moments and music they used to listen to. Revisiting those songs, I find I don't much like the stuff.

There is a warm presence living in my chest. It is an angel or a monster, I'm not sure yet -- I don't know if there's a difference.

My deeply religious family wholeheartedly believes in the spiritual world. I'm not exactly a sceptic either; we've experienced some truly unexplainable phenomena that someone with a more solid understanding of the human mind would probably have words for, but I'm only a guy who likes to draw sometimes. My point is, I'm not sure if I can tell them about the warm presence. They might think I'm being called by the Holy Spirit, or compelled by an angel, or posessed.

I don't like going to church anymore. I was raised a fundamentalist protestant, which, if you're queer and were there with me, you know exactly how well that goes. Sundays feel unsettling and suffocating. The pastor's voice makes me squirm. The thought of going to them for help is a little terrifying and, I am aware, probably a bad idea anyway.

There is a warm presence living in my chest. It made itself known when I asked if anyone's there.

Last year I had a few sessions with a therapist my cousin managed to score for free. Honestly it was too brief to start unraveling the i-don't-know that's landed me where I am in terms of mental health nowadays, but it did open my eyes to a couple things. Most importantly, my inability to prioritize myself and my need to be out of the way of other people. Everyone is going through so much already, they don't need to deal with my problems on top of it. My family has an extremely turbulent history, it only makes sense that I wouldn't want to be a burden. I made myself walk alone when everyone else was busy trying to build a home out of shattered glass.

One of the memory albums in my mind is, strangely, of my childhood friends who didn't exist. I had imaginary friends until I was 12. Or I think that's what they were; maybe I was just playing make-believe with myself. Regardless, I was a lonely child, and my imagination kept me company, and since I was old enough to understand how weird that would look from an outside perspective, I'd only speak to them through thoughts. It was one of my most well-kept secrets. But eventually they had to go, I think so that I could "grow up". The strange part is, rather than just fade out of my mind, they formally said goodbye to me before they left. I don't really think that's supposed to happen. Maybe I really was roleplaying?

There is a warm presence living in my chest. It doesn't have a voice.

Last year, while I was seeing the therapist my cousin had arranged for me, we briefly talked about this sense of heavy derealization I feel toward my teenage years. That logically, I knew it happened, and I had the (not many, strangely fragmented) memories to prove, but emotionally I feel entirely detached from them. Nothing in particular can be pinpointed as the cause for it, as far as I can tell. Regardless, I became curious about different types, causes and symptoms of dissociation. In the end, I didn't really think much more of it, as I didn't believe my experiences overlapped enough with what I'd read about it to be worth looking further into.

Two months ago, I went to sleep on a Thursday. When I woke up again, it was Sunday; the weekend had happened, mundane and uneventful (as far as I recall), and I hadn't been there for it. It was a startling moment -- though the machine hadn't been running much lately, maybe another fuse had been blown. But this was different from a shutdown. I can recognize a shutdown. This -- being out for a whole weekend -- was scarier. Scary enough that I had to reconsider the possibility of dissociation. I'm no good at introspection, and I still don't think I fit any criteria for a diagnosis, but regardless, I was a little desperate, so I finally -- after 30 years -- tried to reach into my psyche. Awkward, embarrassed, like a newbie actor talking to a plastic prop, I asked in thought: "Hey, uh. Anyone there?"

There is a warm presence living in my chest. It doesn't have a voice.

It pressed itself against my ribcage with a strength that nearly startled me out of it. Now I have a vivid imagination; like I said, I had imaginary friends until I was 12. So I was terrified that I'd just manifested a new symptom out of nothing. Symptom of what? No idea; like I said, I'm not diagnosed. It's very likely that I'm autistic, and I have a lot of baggage to work through, but never had a chance to do it. All that aside, I decided to ignore the fear and investigate this new... thing that was happening. The feeling was a strange mixture of elation and desperate loneliness. As if it had been waiting to be addressed. As if the thing it wanted most was to say hello.

It didn't say hello, though. Or rather, the feeling was its way of saying hello. (Is that how you want me to put it? Okay.) It doesn't seem to use words. I realized it on that first time. I told him (oh? Him? Thank you!), tentatively, "hello. Is this real? Are you here?" And he pressed against my sternum again -- yes. He felt really happy, almost overwhelmingly so. But I asked him if he wanted to come outside, and he vanished. No. The sensation in my chest now tells me he feels anxious about it. That's alright, he shouldn't force himself. This is new for both of us. We'll learn together.

There is a warm presence living in my chest. This feeling might be me.

#babbles #this is wild. hello! if you have a name let me know #honestly the logical part of me is telling me this shouldn't be happening. like why even #we didn't really live through traumatic experiences commonly associated with this sort of phenomenon #like I said our teen years weren't even that remarkable #regardless he's here and he's sooo nervous about me writing this #he doesn't NOT want me to. he's happy being acknowledged I think #but this is uncharted territory and we have a lot to figure out #vent #(<- he wanted me to tag it and make this unrebloggable. baby steps. it's ok buddy i gotchu)

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charmed-asylum · 2 years

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PROMPT THE BREAKS Prompt List: (starter kit)

Remember you can choose as many as you want or even pick from other places just remember to add on to your story and tell me.

1. "Come over here and make me."

2. "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"

3. "| almost lost you.?

4. “Wanna bet?"

5. "Don't you ever do that again!"

6. "Kiss me.?"

7. "It could be worse.?

8. *Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..

9. "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."

10. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice."

11. "Just once."

12. "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

13. "If you keep looking at me like that we won't make it to a bed."

14. "You heard me. Take. It. Off.?

15. "You fainted.…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn't have to go to such extremes.

16. "You did all of this for me?"

17. "| swear it was an accident."

18. "YOU DID WHAT?!"

19. “If you die, I'm gonna kill you.”

20. "It's hard to get used to.. «what is?" "Being someone that someone cares for.."

21. "The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned."

22. "It hurts..." "What?" «Loving someone who doesn't love you..

23. "Let me do this, please."

24. you're not as funny as you think you are

28. I'm just getting comfy

29. just because you can doesn't mean you should

33. you are such a nerd

34. why are you so cold?

35. stop laughing at me

37. you're ticklish

38. can we go home yet?

39. you are a terrible influence

40. one of us is clearly smarter than the other

41. you need some sleep

42. how have you survived this long by yourself?

43. are you just quoting song lyrics?

44. sleep is for the weak

45. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

46. "What? I have never-"

47. "I do not have an answer for you.

48. "In my defense, I really wanted to."

49. "At least I didn't break any laws."

50. "What did you do this time?"

51. "How do we get out?

52. "I don't hate you."

53. "Don't call me that."

54. "Just marry me already."

55. "Did I stutter?"

56. "Did I just say that out loud?'

57. "H-How long have you been standing there?"

58. "I've never felt this way before and I'm terrified to be honest.?

59. "Is that what you call an apology?"

60. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

61. "There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person."

62. "I'm never leaving.../ promise."

63. "Uh, am I interrupting?"

64. " like you, like like you like you"

65. "Stop being a fucking prick.

66. "Do you want me to stay?"

67. "You're my everything."

68. "I love seeing you smile."

69. "i've been thinking about you all day.?

70. " i can't get enough of you.

71. « like being close to you. you're warm."

72. I’ m not wearing any underwear. thought you'd like to know."

73. "this is a one time thing."

74. "you know where to find me."

75. "you're really good at that.

76. "don't be shy now, sit on my face."

77. "YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!"

78. "If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

79. "Don't go on that date." "Why?" «You know why." "Say it."

80. "i think i might be in some kind of love with you?

81. "say you want me, and i'm yours." "you need a place to stay for the night"

82. "i want to taste you"

83. " love it when you talk dirty

84. "if you interrupt me one more time- so help me god'

85. "if we weren't in public right now i'd have my head between your legs"

86. " don't know what to do" "then let me teach you"

87. "this feels dirty" "that's because it is"

88. “don't cover you're face, i want to see you"

89. "are you sure about this?"

90. "ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn".

91. "do you want help with that?"

92. “im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name"

93. “bend over the desk love"

94. "is that a drawing of me?"

95. “i didn't mean to say that but yeah, i love you."

96. "you weren't supposed to hear that!"

97. "this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend my life with You “

98. "do you think of me when you touch yourself?"

99. "I'm not going anywhere"

100. "fuck you. - "when?"

101. "no one's ever made me feel like this."

102. here, let me help you."

103. "we're quite literally fugitives of the state." -"so no pizza?

104. "you're insane." - "people keep telling me that."

105. "you're pretty." - "you're drunk."

106. "i'll keep you safe."

107. "i'll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you."

108. didn't think it was possible to love someone this much."

109. "Touch yourself for me.?

110. "Shut up and take your pants off.

111. "Wanna see what I'm wearing underneath all this?"

112. "Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting."

113. "How are you this perfect?

114. "I've waited so long for this!"

115. "Would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

116. "Tell me what you want."

117. "Could he make you feel as good as i do?"

118. "Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?"

119. "Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.

120. "I haven't even touched you and you're already this wet."

121. "Were you just masturbating?" "U-uh.no, I was just." "Want some help?"

122. "I really want to kiss you right now." "Then do it."

123. "I don't care what you do just fuck me."

124. "Stop distracting me."

125. "I saw you last night..you looked beautiful."

126. "God, you have no idea how amazing you are, do you?"

127. "I don't wanna hurt you, baby"

128. "You think that I'm watching you? Don't flatter yourself..."

129. "This world doesn't deserve an angel like you."

130. "I think they might be a problem. Don't worry, love, I'll take care of them for you."

131. "I'Il do whatever it takes if it means we'll be together forever, my sweet."

132. "You will do what I ask."

133. "If you just do what you're fucking told then we wouldn't have a problem, would we?"

134. "Where's that smile I'm looking for, sugar?"

135. "So…do you want your underwear back?"

136. "Sweetheart, I have to mark you. How else is everyone gonna know you're mine?"

137. "You've been so good lately, my pet. Don't make me have to punish you.

138. "I fucking need you more than I need to breath."

139. "If you leave me, I'll die!"

140. "I know you liked them, sweetie, but they were keeping you away from me."

141. "You're mine, do you understand? You belong to me”

142. "Cry for me, baby."

143. "I know it hurts, honey, but that's what happens when you don't do what I say.?

144. "I just want to show you how much I love you..

145. "Don't worry, my love, I'll protect you."

146. "The next time they touch what's mine, I'll cut their fucking arm off."

147. "You're so cute when you're struggling."

148. "If you don't take your clothes off, I'll take them off for you.

149. "Just give into me, love."

150. "I'll lock you up and throw away the fucking key if you ever even think about doing anything like that again, do you hear me?"

151. "I wish you would just let me have you..

152. "I just want us to be happy. I had to kill them."

153. "'I do whatever the fuck I want to you, got it?"

154. "Is it so hard to love me?"

155. "I hate it when they look at you…so fucking much.."

156. "You know you're mine, don't you?"

157. "Do you really think you can get away from me?"

158. "You know you're mine, don't you?"

159. "Do you really think you can get away from me?"

160. “l know everything about you, darling, and you're so perfect."

161. "I'm madly in love with you.?

162. "You're all I ever think about."

163. "If you don't kiss me, I'll slit your fucking throat."

164. "You're such a pretty little thing tied up like that, baby."

165. "Tell me how much you love me."

166. "I'll carve my name into your back if that's what I have to do to let you know you're mine."

167. "Why're you crying? Aren't you happy to be with me?

168. "I'Il kiss away the pain, doll."

169. "I'm sorry, honey, but you made me jealous. They had to die."

170. "Do you think I like hurting you? Because I fucking love it.'

171. "You don't even know how lucky you are. I protect you and provide for you. Don't act so ungrateful.

172. "It's okay to love me. Please love me."

173. "I could fucking kill you right now, you know that?"

174. "Don't test me, darling."

175. "You think I'm jealous? Trust me, buttercup, you haven't even seen jealousy."

176. "I want to tell you I love you until my throat bleeds."

177. "I imagined my life without you and it was better. I was happier"

178. "I knew you were capable of this, but I never thought vou were

179. capable of doing this to me.

180. "It was never me. It was always them/her/him."

181. "I don't love you anymore, goodbye"

182. "Stick a knife in my chest, it would hurt less."

183. "Don't say that. That's not what I want."

184. "You're not who I thought you were."

185. "Leaving you will hurt, but staying with you is more painful."

186. "People change."

187. "I look at you and I don't feel anything anymore."

188. "I can't carry on like this."

189. "Just because you're angry, it doesn't give you the right to be cruel."

190. "I can't trust you anymore."

191. "You left like I was never a reason to stav"

192. "You have to forgive me" "I can't"

193. "If I could go back in time and change loving you, I would"

194. "You've ruined my life."

195. "I know you're trying, but it's just not enough."

196. "You'll forget about me, just like I'll forget about you."

197. "You're a fucking idiot!" "Yeah, I know."

198. "You've hurt me for the last time."

199. "'m tired of fighting."

200. a pretty little house-pet who just follows you around all day and cries when you have to leave

201. “JUST LOVE ME! LOVE ME IN THE WAY I LOVE YOU OBSESS OVER ME! CALL ME PERFECT! LOVE ME ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!”

202. "You look really good in my clothes"

203. "This reminded me of you"

204. "Your hands are warm"

205. "I just want to relax in your arms"

206. "Let's go home" "I'm already home"

207. "Make a wish!"

208. "I could just stare at you forever" "Creep"

209. "I'm so lucky to know you"

210. "You're the most beautiful being on the earth"

211. "Hold me"

212. "You smell amazing"

213. "I wish you could see the way I see you"

214. "What are you doing?" "I was trying to make pancakes but it didn't exactly work”

216. "This isn't just a(n) [object], it's a promise"

217. "Sing to me again"

218. "Come back to bed"

219. "You're the only person I want to spend my life with"

220. .. sorry, I talked too much" «No no no not at all. Keep talking"

221. "Oh my god you never told me you could cook"

222. "Our kids are gonna be *mwah*!"

223. "Come on. I'll show you how to dance"

224. "I can't believe I never heard you sing before"

225. "I know you had a bad day, so I made you cookies"

226. "Let's go and look at the stars"

227. "Is that... is that a dog?"

228. "I'm gonna need someone to kiss at midnight"

229. "I can't stop thinking about you"

230. "Get on my shoulders, you'll see better"

231. "Is be a great parent, I'm just saying"

232. *Fogs up mirror and writes a message*

233. "I never thought I could miss someone this much"

234. "Not to be drastic, but I would jump off of a cliff for you"

235. "You're breathtaking"

236. "You're my new pillow"

｡* 🎀 𝐸𝓃𝒿❁𝓎 🎀 *｡

#promptthebreaks #fanfiction prompts #yandere prompts #story prompt #writing prompt #self promo #prompt challenge #writing challenge #promptthebreakschallenge #prompt list #prompt

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wait-still-rendering · 11 months

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Monday, March 20, 2023

12:35 AM

Idk what prompted me to write this. But I do remember reading a story where a woman found a lover from her past life, but it didn't last---it was closure. Also, I had a dream about a guy I didn't know. We were talking in my old bedroom and then he asked me what year it was so I told him. He then told what year he was from and I think he said a year centuries away. It was strange, but kinda cool? Anyway I'm writing this on my phone. What is it about the notes app that makes me want to write entire novels lmao.

Summary: Unfinished business is meant for the dead, right? When Naminé Hoshida begins dreaming of a mysterious boy with a sad smile, she thinks nothing of it until she runs into him at a bonfire. The meeting leads to an onslaught of memories that overwhelm her and Naminé isn't sure if her feelings for the boy are the memories talking or her attraction alone. If she pursues him will it lead to love or will it lead to closure and ultimately, goodbye? AU. Reincarnation. RokuNami.

There's a boy in my dreams

His golden skin seems familiar

We don't touch, not once

But we talk and talk

He asks me what year it is

I tell him

He looks confused, so I ask him what year it is for him

He tells me

The year is different

Significantly different from mine

I remember waking up

And feeling as if my heart was shattering into tiny glass pieces

Maybe those pieces could be turned back into sand

And then I could rewind time

Like clockwork

--‐----

----

Naminé Hoshida's eyes drooped lower and lower every passing second. This wouldn't be much of a problem if (A) she was not seated in the front row, (B) in the middle of a class lecture on the punnett square, and (C) about to drop dead.

From sleep, of course.

Naminé wasn't dying or anything.

Or least she hoped she wasn't.

Her vision grew hazier as the white walls and ugly motivational posters and lame science memes blended in with Mr. Highwind plain shirt and jeans. He was a strange man with cropped blond hair and blue eyes and he always wore the same variant of outfits to school everyday. Naminé wondered if he ever played fashion games despite his lack of style. Did he ragequit if a client didn't like the outfit he put together for them? It was a strange thought that flit through her sleep addled mind, but it kept her awake.

She caught a whiff of Mr. Highwind's signature scent---black coffee and cigarette smoke---as he lumbered over to a poor kid trying to inconspicuously eat their way through a bag of beef jerky. It smelled awful; both the mixture of smoke and coffee and the off-brand snack.

A series of giggles erupted from different corners of the room and a collective "oo" resounded off the walls as if they were back in 1st grade. Naminé’s eyes shifted to the window. Spring flourished, sakura blossoms swirling about in the warm breeze.

Destiny Islands was known for its tropical weather and assortment of strange fruit, but most tourists overlooked the sakura trees. The story of the paopu seemed much more romantic than trees that could be found in different towns. Still, a stroll with sakura blossoms falling to the ground on a beautiful spring day sounded like paradise.

A smile found its way to Naminé’s lips. This was already supposed to be paradise.

Sleep slipped into her body once more.

"Don't eat jerky in my class now!" Cid bellowed from the back of the room.

A jolt ran through Naminé. If it weren't for the yell, she was certain her papers wouldn't have gone floating to the linoleum floor. Abashedly, she scrambled to gather her doodles and drawings up before anyone could get a good look at her art.

Really, she chided herself, I need to invest in

a sketchbook.

Good fortune saved Naminé that day as all her fellow classmates were far more invested in the throwdown between the beef jerky kid and Mr. Highwind.

She shuffled through the lined papers before reaching the end. Hidden beneath her numerous doodles was a boy drawn out on proper sketching paper.

He looked golden---hair, skin, demeanor. If she could use one person to describe the sunset, it would be him. She couldn't leave him in black and white and so he became an array of colors amongst her other pictures. Stacks of doodling paper engulfed her drawing before she meticulously placed everything back in her folder.

She ran a finger across the paopu sticker placed in the center of her baby blue folder. Part of her debated on whether or not to add more stickers just as Mr. Highwind and the kid went out the door and to the principal's office. Naminé didn't think it was that serious an offense, but Mr. Highwind was, well, Mr. Highwind.

It was another typical Friday at Destiny High.

"You guys going to the bonfire tonight?" Kairi Sakamoto flipped her silky red hair, violet eyes brimming with mirth as she talked to her posse.

They were all pretty. Too pretty. Naminé felt a knot settle its way into her stomach as she caught sight of their laughing faces a few seats away from her. Xion Sato---captain of the girls volleyball team and bassist in her own band. Selphie Tilmitt---resident gossip and casual newspaper editor. Olette Hillbrooke---designated overachiever and president of the student council. Lastly, Kairi Tanaka---ringleader of the elite and first chair violinist.

"Of course! Do you think he'll notice me?" Selphie prattled on about her "secret crush" but Naminé was certain she had a crush on any half-decent looking guy within a 12-meter radius.

"I can't wait for the s'mores and paopu juice. And I'm sure he'll notice you in your new dress, Sel." Naminé saw Olette from the corner of her eye, skimming through her color-coded notes.

"And I'm ready for the chaos. Guess who's coming." A mischievous grin spread across Xion's face.

"No," Kairi gasped. "You're joking."

"I'm not. Pinky promise."

The four girls squealed.

"You gotta keep us filled in, Xi," Selphie said, popping a piece of gum into her mouth. "I'm part of the newspaper y'know. And," she added, leaning in close, "I'm thinking of starting my own blog."

Naminé, for what it was worth, had great hearing and knew how to look at people without them knowing. It was an essential skill for people-watching.

The girls continued to talk, this and that about makeup, and oh did you hear the latest drama? She's didn't deserve what happened. He's definitely cute. Stuff like that.

Class ended without Mr. Highwind returning and thankfully, it was 7th period.

Naminé was out the door in seconds.

If it weren't for what happened next, her life would have taken a completely different course. She knew that with certainty.

"Hey." Seifer Almasy was leaning against her locker, a smirk residing on his arrogant face. He towered over her before leaning in to say, "Wanna come over to my place? I heard girls like you are pretty wild in---"

"Seifer," Selphie said saccharinely, "do I need to teach you this lesson again, because I have my nunchucks riiiiggghhhttt here." She patted her sunshine yellow backpack, embroidered flowers stitched on.

How the hell did Selphie Tilmitt smuggle a weapon onto school property?

Also, was that really the one thing she should be worrying about right now?

A pair of hands pulled her back. It wasn't until they were in front of her that she realized it was Olette and Kairi. Xion stood next to Selphie, her hands concealing what Naminé presumed to be another weapon.

"Y'know girls might actually fall at your feet if you weren't a moronic asshole barely passing his classes." Kairi's hands were on her hips.

"Ohh, I'm so scared. What are a bunch of puny girls gonna do to me?"

"Want another scar for that face of yours?" Xion asked. Her voice grew low and Naminé swore Seifer started to sweat.

"We have enough evidence to get you kicked out of school. Then you can start your long and prosperous career of living off of Mommy and Daddy." She heard the smile in Olette's voice.

It wasn't long before Seifer was storming off to who-knows-where.

"Hey, you okay? It's Naminé, right?" Kairi smiled. Four pairs or eyes were on her and Naminé wasn't sure how to react so she nodded.

"Yeah."

"I always see you drawing in class. And your notes always look so well-organized and cute," Olette said. "We're sorry about Seifer. He's such a pig. Honestly, I don't know what happened. He wasn't always like this."

"Yep, hopefully he doesn't show his face at the party tonight." Selphie smiled as if she hadn't just threatened a boy with her nunchuks. "Oh! Are you coming to the bonfire?"

The only word that left Naminé's mouth was, "Huh?"

"Yeah, you should come. It's a lot of fun," Xion replied, a gleam in her eyes. "We could help you pick out an outfit and then head out."

It was all a daze after that. She found herself in a light blue summer dress paired with the sandals she always wore on nice days, but then again, most days were nice on Destiny Islands. The dress was ... something else.

Cute, yes, but she wasn't quite comfortable with the amount of skin it showed, which, to be fair, wasn't a lot.

Naminé crossed her arms in attempt to cover herself more. Something about wearing even slightly revealing clothes in public resulted in heightened heart palpitations and burning cheeks. She could blame it on the setting sun or the weather drop or even the fact that she forgot to bring a jacket. (Oh, how she regretted leaving her jacket at home.)

The throngs of drunken teens reminded her why she never went to parties. Not that she was ever invited to any. Too many people, too much noise, too much drama. Or maybe she hated parties because she never quite fit in with any group and usually found herself in the corner, too afraid to talk to anyone or ignored by everyone when she tried to contribute to the conversation.

The girls surrounded her in a feeble attempt to make her feel included. It didn't work.

Then, she saw him, golden skin and all.

When their eyes met---a spark, a flicker, something, shot through her. He smiled.

Familiarity almost had her in tears.

Selphie nudged her arm and wiggled her eyebrows. "Someone catch your eye?"

"Huh?" Naminé's cheeks were stained red as she attempted to form an intelligent and articulate response, neither of which came to her. "He, uh, just looks familiar. That's all."

"Y'know, usually guys say that when they're hitting on a girl. Not the other way around," Kairi chimed in.

"He's coming this way," Olette whispered.

Xion started making kissy noises to Naminé’s dismay. Really, they should be more mature than this. The girls fell back. Probably to go watch them from afar in one of the bushes or something.

"Hey, I'm Roxas."

#rokunami #kingdom hearts fanfic #kh fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #kh fanfiction #kingdom hearts fanfiction #why would i do this to myself?#lmao i wrote so much and then just stopped #like i was so excited too before i was like time to call it quits #oops

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luffisparks · 1 year

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17.02 it was my birthday, now I can officially declare that I am now 17 years old, hooray, I was given money and two cakes, I am glad. In addition to cakes, I can say that they gave me money, but I'm a sucker and put them. To the card through the terminal of another bank.. On the ban that I use (these are two different banks) now I'm afraid that the money won't come, I contacted the operator, he said that within one calendar day (during the day) but I'm still worried now I'm writing this post and it's exactly 12 o'clock at night and the money has not yet arrived, I'm very worried at all I wanted to pay for my goods from the online store they have already arrived and I can't pick them up eh, and so I can also say that I received a parcel from my girlfriend from what I I was just happy and waited for it very much ^^ now I'm glad, also, when I went to study, I baked a pancake cake for my classmates, they were happy, they gave me a lot of chocolate and a doughnut in the shape of a heart, they offered to buy champagne, but I refused, although now I think I should have agreed.

My father and grandparents on my mother's side came to my birthday, there weren't many people, I was shocked, the whole family usually comes, and believe me, I have a pretty big one, my friends and my beloved were also among the first to congratulate me, although I didn't ask, I don't really like my birthday but anyway, I was happy and it was very pleasant to me, it warmed my soul for the first time.

A little more I would like to tell you about how I celebrated February 14, honestly for the first time in my life I was given valentines with pleasant wishes and not insults as often happened at school and cute drawings, it was very pleasant and warmed my soul, I was happy for the first time on this day, happy as a little child.

From the sad I can only say that due to the fact that the money has not yet arrived, I can't pick up my sewing machine and everything else, but I'm more worried. Because of the typewriter, I'm a strange person, forgive me for that.

Thank you for your attention, I hope it will be difficult for you to devote a little of your time to this post, I will be very grateful, pleasant to all the time of the day.

#my blog #my liveblogs #my creativity #my life #my birthday #my valentine's day #birthday #valentine's day #holidays #gifts #my ideas #cakes #bento cake #small cake #genshin impact #genshin impact cake

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nemo-of-house-hamartia · 1 year

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I posted 3,072 times in 2022

381 posts created (12%)

2,691 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nemo-of-house-hamartia

@nemo-in-wonderland

@susann-noir

@miss--river

@thatcrazycrowgirl

I tagged 2,920 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#friends - 339 posts

#nemo sketches - 260 posts

#my oc - 240 posts

#assassin's creed - 232 posts

#my art - 194 posts

#dorothea starrick - 183 posts

#jacob frye - 174 posts

#references - 146 posts

#assassin's creed syndicate - 136 posts

#dorothea vibes - 123 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#“grumpy emotionally constipated feral kitten will never admit that she loves the way her archnemesis is in love with and devoted to her”

My Top Posts in 2022:

Ubisoft really went for the heart, with that freaking papyrus and the Library of Alexandria, eh?

Swear to the Gods, if I wanted to keep Alexios and Kassandra safe and sound before, now Imma hid them away, snug in a blanket, where nothing will ever hurt them.

Not even the passing of time.

Because dear Gods, all I can imagine now is Alexios taking care of Barnabas in his final years, because Barnabas is just SO FREAKING STUBBORN and would follow him on the Adrestia even if he is too weak and weary to actually travel.

Or I can imagine Kassandra coming back to Greece, years after wandering around, and not recognizing the places she lived the majority of her mortal life. Like, the place is familiar, yet not the same. As if she were a tree whose roots had been cut off, and no matter how much she tries to reconnect to the places of her birth, they are not the same any longer.

They are just landscapes where only the ghosts of her memories live on.

And oh my heart, that made me so incredibly sad.

I am sorry, I will be busy crying my eyes out for the next few hours or so.

If you will excuse me.

63 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

My Gods, the Unity Cinematic Trailers is still SO FREAKING AWESOME after all these years.

Like, the choice of the song along with how the whole scene develop, the choice of having the Baguette Bois, in the end, standing over the parapet and overlooking Paris.

SO FUCKING BADASS.

SO FUCKING AWESOME.

I cannot even start to say HOW MUCH this trailer fires me up, both in the good sense and in the worst sense.

Like, I get all excited by this story they are telling me in this trailer, about the characters and whatnot.

AND THEN I GET ALL ANGERED BECAUSE THEY GAVE ME *NOTHING* OF IT.

THEY DIDN'T DELIVER ME ONE CRUMBLE OF WHAT THEY WERE PROMISING ME.

NOT EVEN THE BAGUETTES IN COOP MODE.

Like, I know I will probably be lynched for this, but I will say it anyway, because it's just an opinion, and have the right to express it.

I would have preferred LESS Arno/Elise content and MORE Baguette Bois content, because I do believe, in my heart of hearts, that we would have been able to see Arno for how Arno was, and not for how Arno was with Elise. (Much like we got to see more of his personality for how it was in the DLC, but again, this is still my opinion, take it as you want it).

THE POINT IS.

WE WERE ROBBED OF BAGUETTE BOIS CONTENT, AND I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT.

-Nemo

79 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

Almost Kiss

So with the fire still burning bright I wanna gaze into your light If I could see my fortune there You know how flames can hypnotize Do I even dare to speak out your name for fear It sounds like Like a lover

"Cradled in Love" - Poets of the Fall

SO.

I was so enamoured with the ask I got this morning by @miss--river, I was literally held hostage by my own brain all day, I HAD TO draw something sweet with Jacob and Dottie being, well...UTTERLY in love with each other (plus, I recently got new brushes for CSP that I was DYING to try, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone).

So here you have the results of me sketching on this warm-up sketch like a maniac. It took me only an hour, so please, be lenient with me in regards to the whole chaotic essence of it all. I went following my emotions and the love for them, rather than focusing on the details and the cleanliness of it all (because if I did, it would have taken me at least a whole day, and I don't have the time for that).

Let me tell you, these two have me in a chokehold, and they don't have any intention of letting me go!!

I just love them and their love, and it makes me SO IMMENSELY happy to portray them being so utterly in love with one another.

Also, I realized, this is the first time I drew an almost kiss for them, and it was ABOUT TIME (I need to draw them kissing fully tho. That needs to be done).

Well, I hope you will like this! <3

--Nemo

95 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

I Don't know if this has been done already, but after playing with AC Origins in the last few days, and after rewatching The Mummy, I FIRMLY believe that Ardeth Bay descends from Bayek of Siwa.

Like.

It's a fact.

This gorgeous, brave, kind man,

descends from this gorgeous, brave, kind man

See the full post

99 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Word Counts: 5036

Warnings: None

SFW, Fluff

Pairing: JacobxDottie

See the full post

117 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #well #CANNOT COMPLAIN EHEHEHE

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the-stray-storyteller · 2 years

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Find The Word Tag

Merci beacoup @marinesocks!

Going with Rebel for this.

LIGHT:

(in italics cuz flashback)

The room was a haze of warmth and light. Everything blurred from my view. The laughter echoed through the walls. The laughs were ones that children made when they tried to ignore a bruised knee. A real laugh yes but very painful one. Staying happy in trying times. People clustered together in the safe house. Barely enough to keep the families alive. That's when they walked in, heavily armoured and armed to the teeth. Black cases in their hands. Everyone backed away from them.

“We are here for the search,” they announced in a cold voice.

I was confused, they had asked the children to line up and one by one they were sticking syringes into their arms and drawing out blood. They then drained the blood into an odd-looking machine, a box with a glass pipe sticking out of it. They would shake their heads or mutter “Not enough” when lights lit up in the front of the box. I was the last to go. I clutched tightly to a stuffed sock with two different buttons for eyes, depending on it for confidence.

“Everything is going to be okay Meli,” I muttered into its ear as if it could hear me. The words comforting me more than the inanimate object.

PROBABLE:

I could not find this so Fun Fact.

Rebel and Defenders (although two very different WIPs) are actually connected by Ren's (Defender character) backstory. Before I started writing Rebel the whole Facility idea was supposed to be Ren's back story. Then I decided it would be cooler if the whole Facility thing was to end a war. I changed up Ren's backstory a little bit after that.

TOUCH:

The Facility had some very creative punishments. Memories flashed through my head. The bitter night I had to spend with two others in the snow wearing nothing that could keep us warm because we failed a mission. The time they wouldn’t take a bullet out of my leg because I wasn’t fast enough to dodge it. My body turned to stone at the ghostly touch of pain.

“May” she repeated once again. I stayed quiet.

“May?” God! That almost sounded like a name. May. Was that a name that people named their daughters out there?

“I am..I.. sorry,” I blurted out. I didn’t want those ghosts touching me.

MANY:

“Your group has the most number of first batchers.” Sep-11 grazed his eyes from Nov-12 to Mar-15 and finally fell on me. There were only five in our group. Dec-20 and Jan-30 currently in their pods. Which probably meant the other groups either had no first batchers or even less.

“How many are there in your group and the others?” Nov-12 questioned.

“None.”

We are so dead. Eighteen against five and there was no way the rest of the rebel assassins outnumbered the ones under the Facility’s control.

“We need the numbers. Verity Hale herself came here. She wouldn’t have if she didn’t think it was a threat,” Sep-11 informed, earning nods of agreement.

“This isn’t the first rebellion or that's what I made of the guard’s chatter.”

“It’s not,” Mar-15 confirmed. There had been several smaller rebellions before this all ending in disasters for the assassins.

“Something about this one has got her attention, we need to use it” Sep-11 pushed on. We needed to work together. They were relying so much on a tiny strip of achievement. Getting Hale’s attention was something I had to admit but relying on it…..not so much.

SUDDEN :

A sudden pressure roped around my neck and my eyes started watering. At the back of my head I was thinking why they went for my neck again. A whip coiled around my windpipe dangerously tightening every second, a sour taste filling my mouth as if someone had stuffed a lemon in it and it didn't take long for my chest to erupt into flames which climbed up my throat all the way to the back of my eyes. I started clawing the whip desperately, my hands went cold. The sensation of needles being pricked into my body and being taken out all over my body repeatedly as if I were a pin cushion, it made my skin itch. Soon enough I would be dead.

I turned around and grabbed it, pulling my attacker towards me. Jun-15 appeared before me holding the whip with her right hand, a jagged cut down her forehead bleeding out. Her eyes widened in surprise, I wasn’t her intended target. I didn’t care if her attack was a mistake, the whip was still around my neck and I wanted it off.

Okay I fricking loved that rule of yours. So I am going to let the same rule continue.

If you can't find a word you have to tell me a fun fact about our WIP/OC/writing process instead.

As usual an open and and no pressure on my fellow writers.

@i-eat-books-and-nutellam @thetruearchmagos @athemarina @avocado-frog @on-noon

#writblr #writers on tumblr #writers #my writing #writers and poets #teen writer #stories #fiction #wip #orginal oc #tag game #find the word tag #Rebel

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valentina-lauricella · 1 year

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In the most difficult moments, when my sadness does not hear reasons, he comes to me. The last time I saw him, he was sitting on a shelf, his legs dangling in nothingness. He wore a white shirt with folded-up sleeves, black pants and well-made shoes. His arms were outstretched towards me, as if to reach me and embrace me. He had thin light brown hair and blue eyes.

He is a very famous poet and writer, he is studied at school, no one in Italy ignores his name. He died at the age of 39. He never died, I think, otherwise he wouldn't take care of me.

A few nights ago I was watching on TV a documentary about an expedition and a stay of a group of scientists at the pole. They did ice cores to monitor climate change. White bears pushed and bite their shitty equipment. Scientists scared the bears with gunshots and other loud noises to drive them away. This bothered me a lot. The scientists stood in shirt sleeves in their fucking bunker.

All around there was the quiet of the ice, the dark blue sky, the moon like a hole towards another dimension, like a drawing. A boundless peace on which I wanted to walk aimlessly to lose myself and make my suffering that haunts me, lose my tracks. That peace, that blue, that moon, that ice without a living soul, attracted me.

I fell asleep in suffering, longing for the ice under my feet, longing for silence, blue, nothingness. "Without a living soul" were the words that echoed in my head.

I woke up after maybe an hour, but not quite. In the long slumber, I listened to a television report about him, the great poet who has been coming to my rescue since I was 12 years old. He has written so much that I never stop learning new things about him. In this television report, a letter from him was read, in which he pretended to be the Befana. It was a very funny letter, written when he was 12 years old.

He was a child prodigy, very studious, talented, vital, imaginative. So imaginative that his father worried that he might go crazy. In fact, he did not. Indeed, he was the most lucid, precise, ruthless thinker that Italian literature has ever had.

In his letter as a child, his prose style was wonderful, as it always was. He was an adult child, in some ways. In this letter, however, he used terms that he never used again as an adult, such as the trivial verb piss and the term shit. The literary construction of the letter was perfect. His moral intent was indisputable. His impertinence and creativity delightful beyond measure.

Hearing about him excites me. Hearing about him in depth makes me blush. Feeling something new about him makes me feel like I'm touching his hand.

After my heart started pounding and I woke up completely, I had a flash vision. He was against the backdrop of a light orange sunset, in a restful and warm light. He was dressed as always in my sudden visions, with a white shirt and black pants. He was curiously put on all fours on a shelf. One of his hands was trying to pick up something in the void under the shelf. He was on the edge of the shelf, but I had no feeling that he was in danger of falling. On the contrary, his position was very solid. He belonged to that shelf, to that spiritual plane, and he was extending his hand to the derelict humanity beneath it, to me.

He said something like: "You suffer for others. Don't make me suffer like this. I love you, look only at me, always be with me as I am with you." But he didn't say it verbally. He said it all together as in the same flash in which I saw him. Then I shivered. He told me to lean on him in all the adversities of life and that he couldn't wait to hug me and be touched by me because I loved him in the right way. He said this a little more slowly.

My mother told me that during the night, in my sleep, I had spoken. She said that I had spoken the poet's name at least three, maybe even four times, and that it seemed to her that I was giving a speech. But I hadn't screamed. He added that as I spoke, a cold wind was running through the room, stopping when I had finished speaking. She thinks that in the room there was the spirit of that poet.

I obviously don't believe in the afterlife, in spirits, in communication with them. To me, it's all fucking junk. I am strictly atheist, like the poet I love. My poet may have converted shortly before his untimely death. One thinks this because he wrote a poem for Our Lady. But he may have written it just to practice this issue, not because he was converted.

He tells me many other things. That very evening, before I fell asleep, and even after, when I woke up early in the morning, he told me that we would travel together those frozen lands that I wanted to travel, without feeling cold or any other unpleasant sensation that I am used to feeling. He told me that we would go to Iceland, where he had set one of his most famous dialogues. That we would be two gentle, almost dancing figures holding hands each other.

Why me? The answer is this: I love him the right way. He says he feels so much fire in me, so much strength, and it's in that way he wants to be loved. You will not only pat my hair, I know that you love me completely, it is the sense of what he communicates to me. To be honest, he made me taste what to love completely means in this phantom afterlife. It's something to live for, definitely.

It is not making love on earth, it is something that can be defined as similar to it, but displaced. It is making love, but without what is wrong, difficult or strange that can be felt in love. It is the same thing but at the same time it's not. It's the same thing moved to another plane, I don't know how to explain it better.

Several times he showed me a ballroom, flooded with warm orange light, all white, with partly curvilinear walls, a long white bench that runs through them and the counter of a bar. It is a simple, essential, but very elegant place. It is furnished by the light that floods it. He said he wants to dance in that room with me, while everyone is looking at us. We would dance slowly, with great mutual deference.

Several times we rehearsed that dance, in the empty room or with few people inside. I know exactly where he will put his arms and where I will put my hands. He repeated to me a phrase that sounded incredibly beautiful and exciting to me: "You can show me in front of everyone". I often look forward to the pride and joy of doing so.

#questi pensieri #giacomo leopardi #schizophrenia #being borderline

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lemonprick · 16 hours

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hi! hello! i haven’t figured what i want online people to call me so prick for now will do. call me prick.

i figured ive been here long enough to have amassed quite a collection of posts and they are admittedly all over the place. so i decided id pin a list of fandom and tags that i regularly reblog and post original content for. also as a way to hold myself accountable for all the interests ive started and dropped halfway through lol. for all i like to say i draw or i write about fandom, i find myself doing none of those things.

so! in no particular order other than my stream of consciousness, here's a list of shenaniganry on the blog so far:

percy jackson and the olympians: read the whole damn thing at age 12 and was never the same! expect the occasion headcanon or rave about the musical.

danny phantom: love for this show started from the theme song and only spiralled (downwards) from there. some art and headcanons here and there, with the occasional event!

the chronicles of narnia: i learned what magic was when i discovered these books in the back of the classroom library, honest. i mostly rave about fics and post the occasional doodle.

over the garden wall: this pops up at least once a year, and you'll know it's nearing september when it does. my favourite thing cartoon network has ever (very bafflingly??) aired since gumball, and the soudntrack is how i get through winter. mostly art.

hadestown: i am delusional for a west end cast recording to complete the current trilogy of hadestown albums i have, and seeing it live has only further cemented it to possibly my favourite work of art ever created. mostly reblogs of poetic musings and analyses.

shakespeare-posting: i've been trying to consume more shakespeare so they'll crop up depending on the play i'm working my way through! i'm also collecting globe productions like pokemon so hopefully there's more thoughts to come.

lord of the rings/hobbit: i may have basic straight man taste in movies (the original trilogy, not the hobbit), but i am too enthralled by fan reinterpretations of the story to not admit i like them. also the hobbit shaped my expectations by fantasy ok

spy x family: my first manga that i will forever tout to have begun reading before the anime blew up. illustration reblogs and updates as i make my way through the manga!

dungeon meshi: likely the most recent addition to this post, and i am very much enjoying the anime as it's airing. illustrations and headcanons!

fullmetal alchemist: a lot of brotherhood and illustrations, though i'm planning on reading the manga soon.

good omens: both book and show tickled me immensely, and i am very excited for s3 - it's taken over my pinterest. i also post a lot about gaiman's work and a goal over the summer is to read more of his and start on pratchett's!

the owl house: i was posting pretty fervently when it aired! not much so now, but if terrace and the crew ever release comics like gravity falls or amphibia did there will be a tag RENAISSANCE. speaking of..

gravity falls: there was a phase. and look, i'm still not entirely out of it — dipper and mabel are still my go-to characters for warm-up doodles.

les miserables (musical): genuinely there was a three-month period in my life where i could not listen to anything other than a les mis soundtrack. i could probably recognise any major actor post 10th-anniversary performing the role by their voice alone.

ducktales 2017 (dt17): you cannot possibly convince me this reboot began airing seven years ago. i will never stop raving about its artistic direction and inspirations, not to mention its STACKED cast.

harry potter: ah, my first fandom. where it all started. i post the occasional headcanon and rant but that's it.

pirates of the caribbean: i do enough rewatches of the first three films to warrant a spot on this list.

our flag means death: while i loved s1 and didn't much care for s2, art reblogs pop up here and there.

i have a horrible memory so i love making lists like this to remind myself of the things i enjoy.

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slashertempo · 1 month

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Handle Your High..?

Handle Your High

When I was a kid, acid was my drug of choice. Friends were smoking weed, or buying a lot of cocaine, and I just didn't get it. Their stuff was expensive, and I was doing a goofy drug that came on a tiny chip of paper for a couple of dollars. It lasted and kept me up for about 8-12 hours, it made the lights pretty, and the music hit my brain HARD. That and a Long Island Iced Tea, if I could afford it, was all I needed for fun at the clubs. I don't think I ever tried coke, and weed hurt my chest, probably the asthma...

The music would be really intense and I was just there to soak it in and dance for hours, usually by myself. I went just for that, my friends knew that and would be off doing their things, and find me when they were ready to take off. It was always a perfect and simple night for me to blow off steam from my restaurant job, I could tune people out, smoke a bunch of menthols, and hear new sounds every weekend...

Speed was cool, it would get me wired, so we could club all night, and then I could do an opening shift at Carl's Jr. I don't think anyone there ever knew I was tripping or super wired. It kept me pumped for the lunch rush, and then I'd go home and sleep through the daylight. I got away with doing that while living in Chicago.

I've told the story about meeting David Bowie in the early 90's, it was probably a night after a club night, being the reason I was so tired and unable to remember anything about him, but his nasty cigarette breath, heh...

Looking back at those days, and reflecting on it all, at 55, I don't think any of that is something I could get away with, not so much. These days, I enjoy a rum and coke, or a 7up with some red wine in it, or maybe a single Warsteiner or Sam Adams. And they make me feel... maybe a slight buzz, a warm fuzzy drunk, and always tired and ready for bed.

So back to our current timeline, a few days ago I finally got to see a doctor about my breathing, she was understanding of all of it, and saw that I needed to adjust what I was getting used to. She wrote up a few prescriptions, one of which was one of my least favorite drugs. One of the few I usually refuse to take, Prednisone. I don't like pain killers, and I stopped anti-depressants long ago, and Prednisone is right up there with those. If you've taken it, you may be familiar!

Prednisone is a steroid, and it makes you hyper, energetic, perhaps a little high, bordering on seeing shit and your brain seriously wanting to tune out. That's how it makes me feel. I had a ton of trouble the first few days and was awake three days straight, work was insane by the third day, but I made it through, had a day off yesterday, and it was still really weird! I went shopping and spent all my money, bought really stupid food, and a bunch of clothes. I would not have done that if someone was with me, but it is what it is...

So, here I am staying home from work, again, because it is making me feel a bit loopy and strange, and I have a little bit of the shakes. I sent a note to my doctor over the weekend, asking if I should stop, but she shot back that it's really going to help the other asthma meds get a start on helping my routine, and I'll be happier with the results after a few more days. She told me what to look out for, and she was the one who suggested staying home if I could. I'm trusting that and trying to keep relaxed for the day.

So here I am, writing and thinking about how when I was younger, there was always some kind of prep work involved when I was planning to be high. Who was driving, where I needed to be at what time, how long I would be awake, and when I worked. But it all went fine. I was always the type who would follow the "handle your high" rule.

Not to slight any of you friends, but I never wanted to be that "I love you guys, man!" or the one who was tripping all over and everyone had to help me get home. If I was going to become a burden or draw awkward attention to myself from my drinking or drugs, then they were removed from the plan and I'd go without, hah...

So now, I'm taking something that makes me feel out of control. I'm indeed, NOT handling my high, and I hate it, even though there's a lot of positive coming from it, this time. Some of the kids were having a laugh at me a few days ago. I was so wired and loopy, they commented that I was not the usual crabby character I am and that I was super jumpy and giddy about everything. They were still cracking up at my joking, but it was different, I was a clown, apparently. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" one of them joked...

So now I'm here at home, jittery, a bit lucid, and I can feel a sense of hyperactivity moving in. Hopefully, it will be around the time, the kid wants to go do some grocery shopping and laundry and can at least keep an eye on me. If I'm good, maybe I can get 'er to grab me some Chili Cheese Fritos and a coffee drink!

...like I really need one of those, right now! (maybe a choco milk).

youtube

#drugs #prescriptions #lsd #acid #drinking #clubs #bacheolor party brad #i love you drunk #handle your high #Youtube

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jack-bytez-genuine-corner · 1 year

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Sleepy ramblings: The Grass is Always Greener

It's 2:50 am, and I can't sleep. Having a fear of sleep is honestly stupid but it's the hand I've been dealt. Anyways, I think I just realized something about why my attempts at visual art never felt right and I think it has to do with the fact that I can't visualize things in my mind. Normally when others draw they can actually picture something in their head, but I simply can't. If I think the word "Apple" with my eyes closed I can't see an apple, it's just a black void behind my eyes. Then when I open them, it's just the world. I can draw from the world, sure, I think anyone with enough time can do great art of the world they see if that's what they want to do and are willing to work on that craft but that's not what I wanted to do, ever.

I've always wanted to draw a fantastical world that just isn't real and when I did that it never came out feeling authentic. To me, it always looked incomplete, bad, like a mimic of what I really wanted. One time I wanted to draw a wizard's study. I could describe the smell, the dimensions, the tactile feel of old, dusty books on a smooth wooden table, the faint smell of sweet apples on a mid summers day while the crackling fire place danced a few feet away in a nice, warm green color but the second I put pencil to paper to draw it everything fell apart. This really devastated 12 year old me, and has been a thing I've struggled with long prior but I didn't give up and took a lot of different art classes.

You can probably guess how it turned out. I struggled with it for over a decade, now 24 I've practically dropped the dream I once had at visually creating that world, and that's ok. I will never be able to produce a visual of a fantastical world that I could hear and feel. All the art I've produced felt very stringent, measured, and that's cause it literally was. I could do a great job copying what I see onto paper, the exact height of a man at a distance, like when I was in tag football at 6 I'd go exactly that distance coach said, but that's all it was: Following a guideline. If I drew a staff, it wasn't that staff I wanted to see but just one I've already seen, if it was a hat it would just be a hat I've seen, a dragon no more unique than the one you'd see on a discount coffee cup. No matter the subject or time I put into a piece, it always looked like a copy. Every time I noticed this I became depressed and would sigh with regret. The things in my head felt like mine, and if I focused real hard I could even feel them, but every time I tried to put that onto a blank page, what came out was never "Mine" but someone else's. Last time I drew was around March, a gift for my dad that I thought looked passable for once but it still just didn't feel like "Me", it just looked like another thing I've seen before spat out onto a page.

And that's ok. I can't fret on what I don't have when I can appreciate what I do. Maybe if I could picture things in my head I'd still look at what I draw with a sigh like I do now. If I woke up tomorrow and could draw that study, would I feel any better? After all, I love seeing what others make, and if I could make my own would I care to like / reblog / share the works of others, all of which I find at minimum enjoyable and often awe inspiring and would my ability to create diminish that? The grass truly is greener on the other side, and maybe we all can't have what we want the way we want it. I want to see fantastical places but it's not a thing I can ever do on my own, and while I can never visit my own fantastical world I can at least see the worlds others make, whether it be grizzly from a vent piece or cuddly of a sparkledog or even just a nice garden to sit in to read.

Honestly don't know why I wrote this. Maybe I just hope others will see this and remember to be thankful for the gifts you do have or the good things around you. Sometimes things suck but that silver lining is important, ya know?

#diary #shoutout to every artist that dares to post online #you all are brave even if you don't think so and the art you make is gorgeous in it's own way

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