#then he’s all 🙄

[pastanest]

- a brief summary of Criminal Minds seasons 1 & 2 -

Hotch: we cant take this case bc legal bc jurisdiction bc-

JJ: 🥺

Hotch:

Hotch: wheels up in 30.

#no but literally #he’s all 🤨 #then he’s all 🙄 #this mf #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #jj #jennifer jereau

[theoldkyokodied]

[Hi Dennis. How was the lion feeding?...?]

This has been something I've been working on for quite a while now, as some people who look at my insta story might know, but I'm finally done!! those text messages from s14ep5 are so unhinged, they haunt me every goddamn day. To drop "i love you so much" just to follow it with what essentially is a "no homo.. for u... even tho u r so hot and i like you so much!". exploading them with my mind into a million pieces, okay?

#macdennis #macden #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #charlie and dee are also there but like for one frame. not tagging them for that #btw i hope mac sexts like he texts. with ellipses and all. and we KNOW dennis would know about that too. i am giving them my best blankstar #i started drawing this before the zine i think. i worked on this so long and had to go back and fix things bc of course i chose the hardest #angles to draw <333 #i am normal about this show and have definitely not started a whole art class project oil painting based on it (sweating) #you can find these on the google drive folder btw. debating if i should add the painting without the text as well #*blank stare. reached character limit on the last two letters 🙄

[moondirti]

blue collar simon x gn! reader. implied cnc.

Simon finds a journal on his lunch break.

It's inconspicuous. A5 black moleskin with an elastic holding it's contents together, bits of paper sticking out like nails on a poorly constructed house frame. He only notices it because his cooler slips off the bench when he blindly places it atop the fat book, sandwiches and packets of crisps now strewn across the dirty pedway.

The day's already been shit. A motley of blows, each made worse by the torrid sun overhead, sweat to cling to his grievances. An uptight site manager. A near loss of life after some tenderfoot got caught in between an excavation truck and the wall. Even his too-long hair, which curls around red ears – having not had a chance to buzz it off since being called in for this job. It's no wonder, then, that the tiny mishap stirs as severe of a reaction as it does; he chucks his hard hat across the road, satisfied only when it finds its fate mid-lane, an obstruction to inevitably fuck the tires on a white collar's new car.

When his rage settles as smouldering ash in his chest, he picks his food off the floor and cracks open the source of his animosity.

With no name or number, the first page holds just a chicken-scratch address. Interesting. Its owner hasn't made this easy on him, crafting it like one would a game. A skewing of traditional acquaintance. Granting nothing of their superficial identity, yet unrestricted access to their innermost thoughts. Thus he's forced to paint his own picture of the figure behind the words.

And what a picture indeed.

The first entry is brief.

13.02 – My therapist expects at least three pages a week. I'm not doing any of that, so don't get your hopes up.

It's evident that you don't stick to your guns. Though the next one is dated several months later, so he see's the attempt had been made. Written in a whole new hand, like you'd picked a dry pen off the floor and practiced your non-dominant grip:

08.05 – I broke my arm playing tennis. The umpire called a match-point in my opponent's favour and I threw the racket at his head.

I am no longer allowed to play tennis. What good is that resolution? My radius has a greenstick fracture. I'm already out of the game.

His laugh is abrasive and sudden, like it'd been pried from his chest by a pair of careless hands. Or as close to that analogy as it can get – your anger is intoxicating and only grows more potent across the pages. Inadvertently amusing. Simon chews through the tough crust of his torpedo roll as he reads, time wearing away under the stiff comb of your words.

There's hardly any variation in your cataloguing –

10.06 – The universe must need more bad people in it, because it tests my limits everyday. Can the fuck next door snore any louder? It's 2 am, goddammit. I wonder if it'd be overkill to ship nasal strips to his mailbox.

26.06 – Dad called today. Didn't pick up.

04.07 – I'm close to killing Kathleen. There's a reason the food in the fridge is labelled as MINE. GET YOUR GRUBBY PAWS OFF OF IT!

13.07 – The world is a shitty, stupid, crappy, icky, lousy, rotten, stinking, stinky, bad place. I hate my coworkers and friends and parents and landlord and etc etc. It's like everyone is out to get me.

– so it's like the honed curl of a hook. Whiplash-inducing, reeling his attention so quick that his neck strains in phantom pain. Simon stops everything, elbows settling onto his knees as he fixates on one entry in particular.

30.07 – I stand by what I said. The world is uniquely horrible. I think that's because I make it that way for myself. Whatever this exercise was meant to do for me, rage relief or introspection or whatever, it's clearly not working. I'm just as angry as I was before. Maybe burning these pages would help. I wish I could play tennis again. I don't know what to do with my hands anymore. I got fired last week. Need groceries. Eggs, spinach. Spinach always goes bad and I never make use of it. I keep buying it though. Dad keeps calling. I've got a migraine and I've run out of advil.

I just need someone to put me in my place.

And it ends there. No more entries after the fact, just a handful of blank pages before the journal wraps to a close.

He flips back over to the address at front. Looking at it a second time, he can tell the ink is still fresh.

Perhaps he misinterprets it. Perhaps it hits a little too close to home. It wouldn’t be the first time he looks for salvation in the empty lines someone leaves behind. Perhaps it’s just been a bad day, and he should go home before he does something he’ll regret. Perhaps it’s nothing at all.

Or–

Perhaps he sees it for what it is.

Here are all my colours. What you choose to do, or think, is no longer my concern.

#mostly a vent fic LMFAO #then he breaks into ur house and takes u as a pet like how all my fics end.🙄 #mmnnmn i dont know how to feel about this!! #but thats no longer my problem #simon ‘ghost’ riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley

[hazbingirliexoxo]

*sees Alastor and Vox arguing*

Gen!Z reader: Gurl bye, it’s giving enemies to lovers😭✋

*arguing stops*

Alastor: 😃???

Vox: ..It’s giving WHAT?!🤬

#cmon vox we all know the truth #like bffr it ain’t even that serious🙄 #god I love bullying him🤭 (affectionately)🫶🏼 #meanwhile alastor is just confused as fuck #and probably plotting for murder #but he won’t do it cause he knows we’re entertaining☺️ #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #vox x reader #alastor x vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #hazbin charlie #hazbin lucifer #hazbin valentino #nifty hazbin hotel #hazbin sir pentious

[raepliica]

priest guy sending mixed signals, what is he up to?🤨🕶🤏

~~~

[Image Description: A warm-toned comic featuring Trigun98 characters. It opens with Vash shouting "YOWCH!!" as a half-eaten donut flies through the air, a bruise on Vash's tongue. Meryl, editing papers, is annoyed as he complains: "Ow! Ow! I bi'e my 'ongue..." "What's the rush?" Meryl asks, "They're all yours." Vash, still hurt, tries to explain: "They're jus' sooo good!" Meryl argues back, "Well, savour it then!" Wolfwood has been watching the scene unfold as Meryl continues, "Satisfying your sweet tooth doesn't come cheap, unfortunately." Wolfwood clicks his lighter open and closed, again and again. Without a word, he leans closer, his thumb on Vash's lips. "Wolfwood...?" Vash trails off. Then, Wolfwood opens Vash's mouth and knicks his thumb on one of Vash's canines in one fell swoop. "Wah? Huh??" Vash says as Wolfwood pulls his bleeding thumb away. He licks the blood off the wound then snickers at Vash. Meryl looks disgusted, Vash has lit up in an embarrassed explosion, and Milly remarks, curious: "Those are surprisingly sharp, Mr. Vash!" Question marks float around Vash, and his donuts lay discarded on the table. Each panel is signed by raepliica. End ID]

#trigun #trigun 1998 #trigun 98 #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #vashwood #raepliica_art #ww has a thing for vash's fangs (because i said so) #i just know ww has had some interesting thoughts about those fangs the moment he noticed them‼️🦅🦅💥🦅💥 #tbh i saw a wolf skull and went haha vash fangies (proceeded to black out for a week to draw this) #98ww is the most normal ww?🤔 WRONG‼️ he's a freak like the other ones! but kinda in a different way #ww flustering vash by being the weirder one>>>>>> #meryl's dwindling sanity as collateral damage<3 #if u squint real hard this is a polygun art #okay maybe it doesn't look like it at all... but it is to me #polycule casually hanging out and one of them HAS to be a freak in public ugh🙄🙄 #anyway im rambling ajsksh🏃🏃 #enjoy this full colour comic i did to practice while thinking i had lost the ability to colour:] (this is what only doing b&w will do to u) #described #thank you starberry-skies for the id!!♥︎

[notacluedo]

this has probably been done before but Neil <3 referenced from the desperate man by Gustave Courbet <3 get him a colourist plz

#Do u think he dyed his eyebrows too #This is such an elaborate disguise to keep up when u live with other people do they all think that Neil’s like a natural blond #And that he just likes dyeing his hair #Seth and Matt like there he goes again 🙄🙄🙄 spending an hour in the bathroom doing whatever the fuck he does in there 🙄🙄🙄 #Aftg #neil josten #all for the game #the foxhole court #my art

[yuwuta]

WHEREVER YOU WANNA GO, THAT’S FINE WITH ME — MEGUMI FUSHIGURO 

cw mentioned/talks about death but not like… in a serious way 😭 this whole thing is very unserious and stupid it’s just a thought i couldn’t get out of my head, megumi being… megumi, f2l but what’s new, also inspired by some clip from a tv show i’ve seen on tt but idk the name of it, if you do pls let me know

you ask megumi you make one of those marriage pacts with you—that if neither of you are married by thirty-five, you two will get married to each other—and he just hums for a moment before asking, “do you think i’ll be better suited for marriage at thirty-five?”

“what? n—i don’t know? maybe? it just seems like an appropriate age to get married if you’re not already, that’s all,” you explain.

more humming. he blinks, “i don’t think i’ll be all that different at thirty-five.”

“well, that’s concerning,” you joke, “you’re supposed to change—grow a little bit as a person and all that, megumi. even you are capable of it.”

“i won’t want anything different out of a marriage at thirty-five than i would right now,” he corrects you, then turns to you, and with all seriousness demands, “so, state your stipulations. what do you want from me, let’s figure out of this is gonna work now.” 

you scoff, and cross your arms. “what do i want from you? that’s not how a marriage works.” 

“that’s how this friendship already works.” 

you say, megumi does; he pushes it than he should have, you say to stop, and eventually he does, and the cycle continues. he’s always stubborn, and sacrificing himself beyond necessity, and you’re always pulling his ear for it. 

“okay. fine,” you settle, straightening your posture, “i want a house. three bedrooms, so nobara and yuuji don’t have to bicker about sharing when they stay over.” 

megumi considers it, then counters with, “four. gojo needs a bedroom, too. one floor, i don’t like stairs.” 

“where the fuck are we going to find a one-level four-bedroom house? i don’t want to live in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere.” 

“we’ll find one,” he shrugs, doesn’t flinch when he promises: “or i’ll have one made for us. next: vacations.” 

“twice per year. somewhere tropical, and somewhere metropolitan.” 

“i don’t like the beach.” 

“then you don’t have to go on the beach.” 

“you’re responsible for me if i burn.” 

“i’m responsible for you either way, i’m your wife,” you taunt, “pets, next. i want dogs. two. maybe three. and a bunny.” 

“no bunnies, they’re too much work.”

“but i want a bunny, megumi.” 

“you won’t have time for a bunny,” he rolls his eyes, “and you’re gonna get pissed when it chews up the expensive couch you’re gonna make me buy, and takes a shit in the expensive fruit bowl you’re gonna con gojo out of. no bunnies.” 

you pout and frown, but megumi doesn’t budge: “no bunnies.” 

you sigh, “no bunnies, but i want the dogs.” 

“i didn’t say no to the dogs. unless you want a golden, then i’m not raising that.” 

“why not? we already have yuuji.” 

“exactly, we already have yuuji.” 

“fine. i want a king sized bed. the really big, oversized ones you get in america.” 

“done. children?” 

“you want children?”

megumi shrugs, but you swear there’s a dust of pink on his cheeks, “maybe. maybe not. if i did, no more than two.” 

and suddenly you can’t help but feel heat in your own face, hot with the image of two tiny megumis running around. 

“that’s fine with me. maybe kids, but no more than two,” you cough, “i want one of those heated driveways for the house.”

“i’ll have it built. i’ll clean and do laundry and take out the trash if you cook.”

“what about days i don’t cook?”

“then i’ll do that, too,” megumi nods, “anything else?”

“yes. if i die first, you can remarry, but you visit my grave at least twice a year, and bring peonies. and that picture of me from prom where i look really good.” 

“no.” 

you stop. you blink. “what do you mean ‘no?’ you wouldn’t visit my grave?—kinda cruel considering i birthed your up-to-two future children and raised your dogs.” 

“i won’t remarry. and i don’t want you to if i die first,” he corrects you, again, “and there’s no dying first and leaving me behind, i’m going with you.”

he doesn’t leave room for debate in his declarations: won’t, don’t; not wouldn’t, shouldn’t, couldn’t—you have to pinch yourself to stop chasing the rabbit of temptation running through your mind. 

“i don’t… think you get to decide that,” you chuckle. 

“of course i do,” megumi grins, uncrosses his legs and leans over. he reaches a hand to the back of your head and pushes it forward until your foreheads meet gently; and as if the affection wasn’t shocking enough, he continues, “where you go, i go. that’s marriage, right?” 

he widens his smile a bit, before letting you go, leaning back into his seat again with crossed arms like nothing happened, and you’re left staring, blinking, breathing shallowly like prey that narrowly escaped being caught.

you don’t speak, so megumi does, “i have one more thing.” 

and slowly, you unthaw enough to let out a questioning hum. megumi tilts his head before telling you, “i want your last name.” 

“what? you—you would change your name?” you stutter, “but fushiguro is so pretty! and it’s your mom’s name, so few people get their mother’s names.” 

“yeah. this way, our up-to-two children get their mother’s names, too.” 

“i—okay… yeah, i guess they do,” you gape, then pout, “wait, what if i wanted to be mrs. fushiguro?” 

“tough luck,” he grins, “you get everything else.” 

you get me, instead, is what’s left unsaid. 

“okay, fine. sounds like a deal to me.” 

“great. we can’t have a spring wedding because gojo and toji will sneeze obnoxiously loudly, and we can’t have a summer wedding because the anniversary will conflict with our tropical vacation, and nobara will kill us if it’s too close to her birthday,” he says, standing up from the couch to head to the kitchen, “so i’ll see you at the courthouse in september.” 

you nod reflexively, sinking back into the couch with a satisfied smile. it’s a while before your brain processes his words, and when it finally does, you spring up in a fluster, “october? megumi, i said when when we’re thirty-five and if neither of us are already married! megumi? megumi fushiguro, come back here!” 

#i......... need to inhale him. that's all. #you can ignore all of this i just NEEDED to get this out of my head he's SO. he's his daddy's son that's what he is #which daddy? it doesn't matter 😐 which is why he's extra terrible #this also lives in an au where megumi is like 'are u done dating other guys yet 🙄 dont u know that we're endgame' #and has never made a single romantic comment to u before in ur entire life OH i hate him #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk scenarios #jjk imagines #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi x reader #megumi fluff

[chiosblog]

Nico sorry to tell ya but you're the definition of resentful gay boyfriend

I can recognize one when i see it

#i had to sit through you getting all worked up about your ex best friend for an hour #i know what you are #he is still very much pissed even after 8 years lol #if rivalry last more than 8 years you are not enemies you are lovers #lmao #brocedes #sorry for the bad quality photo l forgot to take a better one lol #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #these probably closeted bisexual people🙄 #he is actually quite 💦 looking you know #f1 #formula 1

[transwolvie]

Got notes again on my post abt how Falin's Girl Autism is romanticized to the point where people who don't really know or understand her are trying to propose vs Laios's Boy Autism being seen as an active threat even though the Toudens are literally so fucking alike and like. Yeah. Gdhdh I have nothing to add I was fucking right and I like that Ryoko Kui created such loving and similar siblings so that she could comment on how their autism and hyperfixations are so clearly filtered through a lens of how people see them due to their gender as well

#tomi talks #dungeon meshi #I'm sorry but i deeply don't understand ppl who actually ship Shuro and Falin like #Shuro does not really know Falin and if he can't accept all of her quirks in her brother i don't trust him to truly accept her #he glosses over the ways in which she's similar to Laios because he is romanticizing a woman he doesn't truly understand :// #like it's so filtered thru sexism too lol #like ofc Falin's interest in bugs or living things is 'nurturing' and kind 🙄🙄🙄 #like it's especially wild cuz Falin is basically unquestionably more cut throat than Laios imo lmao

[pastelpaperplanes]

soft body practice (and I guess bit of a scar map too) for a handful of the Thorns and Thrones cast

#my art #thorns and thrones au #transformers #everyone's got muscles somewhere bc of the weapons they haul around day in and day out #or if you're Ratchet it's bc he carries that humongous medpack 24/7 AND all the braincells on Team Prime 🙄🙄🙄 #maccadam #transformers animated #deadlock #tfa optimus prime #tfa megatron #tfa knockout #tfa breakdown #tfa megop #kobd #tfa ratchet #tfa deadlock #tfa dratchet #tfa wildbreak

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

lmao this but lights out!wally

yeah... he's the ultimate "this is fine" guy...

#he reminds me of the meme of the black cat holding on to two people's sleeves and screaming #except on one side its 'all of his friends trying to leave' #and the other its 'the neighborhood crumbling away' #he would put a bandaid over one of the sinkholes and think its an Adequate Fix! #Denial Is A River In Egypt- #rambles from the bog #scribble salad #wh lights out au #homie thinks nothing has changed when in reality Everything has 🙄🙄🙄 and there's no going back 🤣🤣🤣

[one-vivid-judgment]

The Buddy Bingo is the best addition to the series cause some of this information is just ??? 

• Saeko has 8 different apps on her phone to pay at stores

• Zhao has 20 pairs of the same glasses

• Seonhee cooks gyoza for everyone at the Geomijul pretty much every day

• Tomizawa's favorite food is MOVIE THEATER HOT DOGS

• Seonhee is lowkey an astrology girlie

• Joongi goes fucking nuts renting DVDs (Thank you Seonhee, very cool) 

• Zhao is into gacha and a fucking whale to boot

• Nanba fought A FUCKING RACOON

• Tomi wants to run a café and go on a roadtrip with his friends and I think that shit is adorable

• Zhao wants to contact aliens

• Saeko works out lifting an 8 kilos pot

• Adachi's special skill is preparing the shogi board

• Chitose can dance. Saeko can't. Insert something sapphic

• Adachi learned flower language and how to surf to get laid

#like a dragon infinite wealth #yakuza 8 #lad infinite wealth #ryu ga gotoku #infinite wealth #eric tomizawa #chitose fujinomiya #koichi adachi #yu nanba #saeko mukoda #seonhee #joongi han #zhao tianyou #i didnt get joongi yet so idk about him #but im already ready for him to get the WEIRDEST SHIT #joongi is the biggest weirdo of the ichigang and im tired of pretending hes normal #like??? he got so SULKY and CUTE when Zhao tagged along with the others and just went #'must be nice 🙄🙄 getting all the fun for yourselves 🙄🙄' #man's gonna pack his bags and book it to hawaii out of spite im calling it

[sapphicyanli]

truly rare netflix w for casting the gayest person in the natla cast as zuko. literally couldnt get any better than this

#BEFORE ANYONE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY I VERY MUCH ACKNOWLEDGE DALLAS LIU IS INDEED IS A GREAT AND HARDWORKING ACTOR THIS IS A JOKE #that being said #THE WAY HE SAID “come slide through the fire nation” ?!?!?!? INSANE FELLA BEHAVIOR RIGHT THERE #ian was SWEATING #the rest of natla cast seeing them flirting in every chance they get: imagine how tired we are🙄😒 #dallas liu #ian ousley #tagging this as #zukka #as well because maybe it will inspire more ppl to eventually write that actors!zukka au we all need😷 #zuko confident gay-sokka panicked gay is also kind of an underrated ish trope #mine #natla #atla #interview #🤨🏳️‍🌈❓

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.

#i woulda said full house but dean's more a movie guy than a tv guy #it doesn't help. btw. lol. #if dean read a gentle parenting guide he would scoff and roll his eyes and throw it across the room #and eventually start silently weeping if he was convinced to keep going bc HE was a kid and HE didn't get treated with respect or gentlenes #dean in an argument with those mommy bloggers he follows saying something like 'please. i was left in a motel room with my brother #from like age 7 upwards I think little Timmy will be okay in the car by himself for 3 minutes 🙄“ #and someone hits him with 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' and he tries to brush it off all day and complain about it to Sam #and Sam's like. yeah it was kinda fucked up though. and Dean's like WELL I KNOW THAT BUT HE WAS DOING HIS BEST #(not fully believing it bc he certainly can't picture leaving a 7 year old alone in the world they live in no matter what) #(and Dean's never fully actually agreed with their dad but he feels attacked by Sam's agreeing) #(but old habits run deep) #cawis creates

[sharksliveontrains]

aftg is wild because kevin says "give your game to me." and "close your eyes and tell me what you see" and neil just says "you." and andrew has to watch the whole thing. and then andrew is the one he falls for.

#its a real plot twist #but thats just crazy like #could not be me #kevin had the whole childhood headstart adn still lost #i mean he also has the whole internal homophobia thing but whatevs #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #andreil #like the way kevandreil didnt actually become canon was a crime tbh #we were robbed #well i am procrastinating bc i hate writing and im supposed to be self-reflecting 🙄 #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #tfc #anyways #txt

[zevranunderstander]

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

#myposts #kendrick lamar #drake #i updated it from 'white europeans' to 'people' because some people pointed out that 'gringo' is probably more south american lingo #but the point i wanted to make is like. there is this subset of european people (quite a lot of them) #who try to deflect by saying them not knowing these things isn't because of an active lack of disinterest in black culture and influences #and like. them not knowing who a certain black person is is never an educational failing on their side of any sorts #but instead are pretending that like. they are by virtue of being european always correctly educated on What History And Art Is Important #like. 2 months back that one post pretending that 'us europeans dont need to know all your AMERICAN writers 🙄' talking about james baldwin? #like just because that person didnt know who james baldwin was #they immediately were mad at the implication that They Didn't Know Someone Of Cultural Significance #and twisted it into 'well he cant be that important by virtue of me not knowing him' #like completely ignoring that the european school system also has. race problems and also ignoring that he lived and wrote in France too #but like. its this really racist defence mechanism of like. 'well you stupid americans always make everything about yourselves' #i hope i make sense i didnt think this would blow up lol #and like some people in the notes of that post were so smug about not knowing who Kendrick Lamar is #bc to them thats like 'oh im too cultured to be listening to rap of any sorts' like completely dismissing his music as kind of second class #by virtue of it being rap and black music and him not being in the White Mainstream as much as other musicians #(i mean hes still like 24th most listened artist worldwide but you get what i mean)