#the man is So Anxious about people up and dying on him it really gets me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seeingivy · 11 months

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the scouts

roommate eren x f!reader

eren’s hometown friends have a lot to say. vis a vis you.

**find the series masterlist here

content warning: galliard slander, irritable bowel syndrome, mikasa don’t gaf, connie and sasha are thieves, lying??, carla yeager being a sunshine, eren being a cheeky little shit, laxatives

an: alright. feast my children. pls keep ur little memes and drawings and funny comments coming bc I love them (and they incentivize me to write chapters faster so I can seem more of them LOL) - also @togemayo and @rebeccawinters your connie and reiner cameos have ARRIVED, love you da mostest

previous part linked here

“There’s no way in fucking hell you called me about this. I am a grown man, with a child. I’m above stupid shit like this.”

“Fuck you, Galliard. Pieck would help me with this, you know that.”

“Then call her. I’m going to block you.”

“You don’t think I tried that? I would never willingly talk to you, like ever. Please, Galliard, just tell me what to do.”

“Twerp, you’re giving him a necklace, not proposing marriage. You’re not going to look desperate if you walk to a fucking soccer field and just to give it to him.”

“Okay. Are you sure?”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Like really. You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“Don’t call me unless you’re dying. And even then, you better have tried every other person you know before you ever dial this number again.”

Static. Fucking asshole hung up on you.

Eren has a soccer game today. He’d let you know early on in the week that he wouldn’t be here to make breakfast for you on Friday because his family and a few of his hometown friends were coming to watch the game. Apparently, this game was a really big deal - some type of rivalry type thing with another university.

You weren’t going. Obviously. You had stopped going the second Hitch took your jersey, because it was too embarrassing to think about going now. I mean what are you even supposed to wear now? And what’s the point of going if Eren’s with her and she’s going to be there?

Yet here you are, waiting in the line outside of the stadium. Everyone around you is decked out - forest green shirts, face paint, streamers - and you can already tell that this game is way more intense than the ones you had been to. In the past, it would be you and maybe five other people in the stands, spread out doing homework. But this game looks like it’s going to be packed.

All the more reason to do this.

to jean-boy

you: hey. are you at the game today?

jean-boy: yeah. on the field with min. they’re all warming up.

you: i didn’t realize this game would be such a big deal lol.

jean-boy: yeah. I think everyone’s kind of anxious. eren hasn’t made a single goal all morning and he’s getting more pissed each time he tries

you: doesn’t help that he left his necklace at home

jean-boy: the key necklace? did you bring it?

you: yeah. that’s why im here. i remember he said something about like he always loses games or gets hurt or something when he doesn’t wear it. thought i’d bring it so i don’t have to help him to the toilet when he breaks his legs or smth.

jean-boy: meet me in the back. ill let you in so you can give it to him.

You awkwardly wait in the back of the stadium, teetering on your heels as you wait for Jean. You’re just giving him his necklace. It doesn’t mean anything. He won’t know that you like him because you’re just giving him his good luck charm. You’re being a good friend. Anyone in your position would do this.

“Hey.”

“Hi Jean.”

“What are you wearing?”

You look down, only now paying attention to the outfit that you were wearing. You didn’t think it was that bad - black jeans and a blue cardigan.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“You wore the rival's colors.”

“Okay? Arrest me, Jean.”

“No, it’s like a thing. You can’t wear the rival's colors. Armin and Eren are going to make you change the second you get on the field.”

“You guys are so superstitious. It’s just a shirt.”

He shakes his head as you both walk through the door, pacing across the turf as he sets out to look for Eren. All the players are running on the field, kicking balls in between each other, hitting them into the nets. You spot Eren at the end, his head in his hands as he talks to Armin on the side.

“Hey. Found him. You can go back, I’ll just give it to him and leave.”

He nods, leaving your side as you make your way over there. You walk up just in time to catch the end of Armin and Eren’s conversation, your ears burning. You shouldn’t have come.

“How do you know you love Annie? Because, sometimes I think I love her, Armin.”

You can pretend like that one didn’t sting. You clear your throat, the two of them turning their backs to look at you. You watch Eren’s eyes nearly boggle out of their sockets as Armin drops the water bottle he was holding, at the sight of you standing there. Armin awkwardly walks away as Eren walks up, his eyes still flashing in shock.

“What are you doing here?”

“What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?”

“How much did you hear?”

“None of it. Did I miss something important?”

You see his shoulders relax, pushing out a sigh of relief. First he calls you his best friend and then he can’t even tell you he thinks he might love Hitch?

“Yeah, you almost heard about my murder plot. It all started that fateful day, when I let you move into my apartment.”

“That was months ago. Surely the opportunity must have presented itself. Knife to the back in the shower…smack me across the head with a frying pan…”

“I’m playing the long game. You’ll never see it coming.”

You both laugh, with you rolling your eyes as the silence settles around you too. You can see the stands filling up at your sides, the anticipation building in the stadium.

“Um so-”

“What are you wearing, Y/N?”

“We’re not doing this, Eren.”

“You have to change. Like now.”

“I’m not walking around in my tank top, Eren. It’s cold. And I’ll leave anyway, I just came to give you this.”

You hold the key necklace up, dangling it between the two of your faces. You watch his eyes light up as he takes the necklace from your hands. He then cups your face in his hand and presses a kiss to your fucking forehead, before putting his arms around you and spinning you in the air.

“Oh my fucking god, thank you. You brilliant, brilliant girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been missing goals all morning.”

Your brain is malfunctioning. You’ve literally picked up Eren from parties in the dead of the night and he’s barely even said thank you when you did that. This is all it takes? A fucking necklace and he gives you a forehead kiss?

He sets you down, still flashing you a bigger than big smile as he latches the necklace on.

“You’re not missing goals because you weren’t wearing the necklace.”

“Yes. I was. We’re not having this argument right now, especially when you’re wearing that. I have something you can wear.”

You hear Armin walk up, holding two jerseys in his hand.

“Way ahead of you. She can wear mine or yours. Everyone else put their spares in their lockers already.”

“Mine. Thanks Armin.”

“Don’t tell me you believe in this too, Armin?”

“Just put it on. If you don’t, Eren will blame you if the game goes wrong.”

Armin walks away, leaving the two of you standing again. Eren’s holding the jersey out in front of you, waiting for you to put it on.

“Full disclosure. I will blame it on you, if we lose kitty.”

“It’s just a color.”

“No. No, it’s the principle. Think about it. My girl can’t be wearing the rival colors on our sides of the stands. That’s just a bad omen..like we’re asking to lose the game or something.”

My girl.

“I’m leaving, Eren. I just came to give you the necklace.”

He puts his hands on your waist, spinning you around to turn you towards the stadium, where everyone was sitting. He leaves one hand on there, his other sliding down to your wrist.

“What are you doing?”

He lifts your hand up, shaking it in front of the stadium.

“This isn’t the time for a puppet show, Eren.”

“Look at the second row, towards the middle.”

You squint your eyes, scanning the entire row. And then you fucking see it. Eren’s parents and his brother. He’s making you wave at them. And they’re doing it back, nearly jumping to return the gesture.

“Eren.”

He spins you back around and he fucking smirks at you.

“You waved at them. Now, they’re going to expect you to go sit with them. For the entire game, mind you. Meaning you’re staying, so you should put it on.”

Asshole.

“Unless you want to leave my mom hanging?”

“Give me the jersey, Eren.”

He flashes you a winning smile, clearly delighted with his victory. You unbutton the ends of the cardigan, slipping it off and switching it with Eren’s jersey. He reaches forward, pulling out the ends of your hair that were tucked into the jersey as you smooth it against your clothes.

“So.”

“Win your game or whatever. Without the help of your stupid necklace.”

“Planning on it, peaches. Necklace and all.”

He pokes the side of your cheek and flashes you one last smile as he runs back onto the field, right in front of the goal. You watch as he centers the ball in front of him, kicking it into the net on the first try. He turns to the side, pointing at you after making the goal, as he mouths four words.

I told you so.

You tap Zeke on the shoulder, the three of them turning their heads towards you.

“Hi. Mind if I sit with you guys?”

The three of them jump up - Grisha shaking your hand very excitedly, Zeke crushing you in a hug, and Carla cupping your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on both of your cheeks.

So this is where Eren gets it from.

“We’re so excited you came, sweet girl. We were hoping you would find your way over here when we saw you on the field.”

You nod, Carla squeezing your hands in hers (another thing Eren gets from her, you’re sure of it). You settle in the seat next to Zeke, brushing your sweaty palms against the ends of your pants. You can see the game is starting as they all take their places on the field, Eren giving the four of you one last wave. You look at the group of people seated directly to your right, the four of them waving back at him too.

And then you remember. Eren’s hometown friends came down to watch his game.

You take in the sight of the four of them. You can recognize the girl at the end, farthest from you. Mikasa - Eren’s childhood best friend, the two of them and Armin were inseparable. The two in the middle you recognize as well, from the polaroid that Eren had in his wallet. They’re both arguing with each other - with him pulling her hair and her elbowing him in the sides. The fourth boy is entirely unrecognizable to you - broad shoulders, short, messy blonde hair.

You tap him on the shoulder.

“Hi. You’re one of Eren’s hometown friends, right? My name is Y/N. I’m his roommate.”

At the sound of this, the four of them turn their heads, turning to face you.

“His roommate? Since when?”

“Yeah. We’ve been living together since the start of the semester.”

“Reiner, there’s no way in hell right? He kept going on and on about how he was going to finally have a bachelor pad this semester.”

“There’s no fucking way. He literally hated having a roommate. Remember when he threw up on Samuel’s bed on purpose when he was drunk?”

Mental note, Reiner’s the one with the blonde hair. The three of them turn their heads towards Mikasa, who's still watching the game. You’re not sure when she showed up, but Annie’s sitting at her side - the two of them linking their arms together as they sit. Right. She must already know Mikasa since her and Armin have been dating for a while.

“Mikasa. Did you know about this?”

“He may have mentioned it once or twice to me, Connie.”

Buzzed hair is Connie. Connie and the girl in the middle open up the space between them, gesturing for the two of you to sit between them. You don’t miss the look they give each other as you sit down, the two of them smiling deviously.

“I’m Sasha.”

“And I’m Connie.”

“It’s nice to meet you guys, really.”

They both smile, linking their arms with yours as they start staring at you more intently.

“Say. Do you mind answering a few questions for us?”

“Sure.”

“How did Eren become your roommate?”

“I kind of had these sucky roommates last semester. They kind of didn’t mention that they didn’t want to room with me anymore so I kind of switched around at staying at my friends place while I tried to look for an apartment. I couldn’t find one after a week and I met Eren at Armin’s and he offered.”

You watch the three of them, Reiner leaning over now, widening their eyes at you.

“He offered? To house you, a woman, another person, in his apartment, willingly?”

“I mean, I think so? I think he might have felt bad or something. I’m not really sure why he did it.”

“I might have an idea.”

At Reiner’s comment, the three of them start giggling, like they’re all in on some joke you’re not quite sure of.

“Do you like Taylor Swift, Y/N?”

“I do, Connie. Is it that obvious?”

You feel Connie shaking your arm, nearly jumping out of his seat.

“Me too. What’s your favorite album? Favorite song? Folklore or Evermore?”

“Probably, Reputation. For the song, I think maybe Sweet Nothing? And definitely Evermore over here.”

Reiner reaches over and smacks Connie on the back of the neck, mentioning he was getting off track. Off track of what?

“Say. Have you ever…played Taylor Swift for Eren or something?”

“Um, not exactly playing it for him but I kind of have a tendency to sing in the shower sometimes. But also, he did willingly watch the Reputation Stadium Tour without me prompting him to, so I think it’s growing on him.”

At this, Connie and Sasha lean over, their faces a few feet from yours.

“I fucking knew it. That playlist is about you.”

“What playlist?”

You watch Reiner pull out his phone, opening out his Spotify app. The three of them are still smirking - the same way Eren did when he trapped you into staying at the game.

He hands you Eren’s Spotify profile, with exactly one playlist on it, called peaches. The picture is the one from when you and Eren went to see Kenny in the city, only your hands in view as you pet the cat the two of you saw on the street.

You scroll through the playlist, with well over a hundred songs - most of them being Taylor Swift. They are organized by album, a few songs picked out from each one. Meaning, Eren went through each album and picked out the songs that he liked. Just because you said you liked Taylor Swift. I mean, it did have to be about you. It is called peaches.

“So. Is it about you?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so, Connie. Those are my hands. And he calls me peaches, because of my shampoo.”

Mikasa leans over, interjecting in the conversation.

“Did he make you switch it? The shampoo?”

“Uh, no. I think he likes it?”

“Hm.”

Mikasa leans back, sharing a look with Sasha.

“Is that a big deal or something, Connie?”

“Kind of. Eren got really bad food poisoning from some peach flavored concoction Reiner made him once in high school. The smell makes him want to like vomit.”

“It wasn’t a concoction, it was a protein shake. How was I supposed to know that dragon fruit was basically a laxative?”

“We all told you. Like six times.” the three of them respond, rolling their eyes.

Sasha and Connie unlink their arms from yours, turning their attention back to the game. The four of them interject once in a while, lost in their own conversations, but your head is still buzzing from the one that you had with them.

Eren has a playlist. That he made for you. He spent hours probably - listening to each song, picking out the ones he liked.

“Say. Did Eren ever mention us?”

“Hm. Well, I knew about Mikasa - Armin and Eren have both mentioned her. And I’ve seen a picture of the two of you before, Eren has one in his wallet. But no Reiner, never mentioned you.”

“We have his wallet.”

Reiner taps Zeke on the shoulder and pockets the wallet from him. Sasha and Connie reach over, pulling out the dollar bills first - equally dividing the cash between the five of you and stuffing her share in her pocket - before returing it to Reiner, who pulls out both polaroids.

This is when you realize your mistake. Because the polaroid of you kissing his cheek is still in his fucking wallet. You watch Reiner pull it out and hold it out in front of Connie and Sasha, the two of them shaking you in their arms as they all scream in your ears.

“You guys are so cute! We fucking knew it. When did you start dating?”

At the sound of that, you see Carla turn her head out of the corner of her eyes, slightly shuffling over to see what you two are talking about. And then your mistake gets even worse. Because then Carla runs over, kissing you twice on the cheeks again and literally bursting out of happiness at the news.

“Oh, I’m so happy for you two. I knew something was going on. And I even told Eren, he better get a move on because a girl like you doesn’t stay single for long.”

“You would be shocked, Mrs.Yeager.”

She takes her hands into yours, squeezing twice again. Fucking Yeagers and their hand squeezing. It’s almost impossible not to like them.

“Take care of our boy, okay?. He’s really sensitive and emotional, which I’m sure you know already but he means well. Really. And let him take care of you too. He’s told me that you’re a little bit more closed off at times, but he would never hurt you. He cares about you, so so much. It’s you two, on the same side, always.”

And you can’t do it. You can’t tell her the truth because…she’s just so excited. So happy for the two of you. The way she’s holding your hands in hers, kissing your cheeks, doting over you. She’s so excited that it’s you. You don’t want to be the one to tell her that her son has no interest in you.

So you don’t.

“I will. Take care of him, I mean.”

She smiles widely again, crushing you in your arms as he gives you another hug.

Now you have to find Eren. And tell him that you just told your mom that the two of you are dating.

You find him at half-time, outside the locker room. He’s lying on the bench with two of his teammates, ice packs pressed to each of his foreheads.

“Ren?”

He immediately sits up at the sound of your voice, pulling the ice pack off his head as he stands up. He gestures towards the walkway, the two of you walking back down to the stadium.

“Everything okay, kitty?”

“Uh. I might have messed up.”

He stops, turning to face you.

“What did you do?”

“Promise you won’t be mad, Ren?”

“I could never be mad at you. You know that.”

Right. Okay. Just tell him. That’s when you start rambling.

“Well. I met your friends - they’re really nice. Connie and Sasha stole some of your money, though. And Reiner was basically telling me about how he gave you Irritable Bowel Syndrome with a peach smoothie he made you, which is weird because you call me peaches but they were insisting that you hate them. Right, so I told them that you keep a polaroid of them in your wallet - because it’s so cute and I would want to know if I was them - and then they pulled your wallet out and the other polaroid was still in there. And then your mom saw and she was just being so…so sweet that I didn’t have the heart to tell her we weren’t really together.”

He’s staring you down. Green eyes, forehead scrunched up, lips in a straight line. Stop paying attention to his fucking lips.

“So. Let me get this straight. You told my mom that…we were dating?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it?”

“What?

“I thought you killed someone or something. That’s not a big deal.”

“How is that not a big deal? I just lied to your mother. And told her that we were dating.”

“Yeah. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your position. She probably gave you that whole lecture right, about how we need to take care of each other, how I’m all sensitive and emotional?”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Yeah. How’d you know?

“She gave me the same one after she met you. Even I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t dating you. I just told her I liked you, that’s all.”

“Oh. Okay. I was like freaking out about it.”

He locks his fingers with yours, squeezing twice as the two of you continue to slowly walk.

“It’s okay. I’ll deal with her. She just really likes you, that’s all. They all do.”

“Okay. You sure it’s okay? You’re not secretly mad at me right?”

He looks over, giving you a lopsided grin, the one that makes your heart skip a beat.

“Really, kitty. I could never be mad at you. And I know you. There’s nothing nefarious going on up here.”

He takes his fingers, tapping on your forehead.

“How do you know? This could all be a part of my secret plot to be the new Mrs. Yeager.”

“Bullshit.”

You nudge into him, making him stumble to the side as you both make it to the front of the stadium.

“And why’s that?”

“Because. You wouldn’t need a secret plot if that’s what you wanted.”

He taps the end of your nose before lifting the bar to run back on the field to finish the game, leaving you more confused than when you arrived here.

Stupid Galliard. He always gives terrible advice.

next chapter linked here

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avatartophblindbanditbeifong · 10 months

Text

The Perfect Pair

Miles Morales x fem!Reader

2.4K words

Summary: Miles would do anything to keep you out of harms way. But what if the only way to protect you is to hurt you in the process?

Miles rapidly bounced his knee up and down.

He was sitting on the variety of red and orange seats of the New York City subway while looking at your contact on his phone. He eyeballed the picture that lit up his screen every time you called—a candid photo he took of you mid-giggle-fit with your mouth open and your eyes shut tight.

His thumb hovered above the call button for what felt like forever to him. The longer he waited, the more anxious he got and and his knee bounced, and bounced, and bounced… and now he was calling you. Miles physically froze; paralyzed. His eyes widened, his breath halted, and his heart pounded.

“Your message has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system (347-).”. Miles blew out a sigh from his lips, hung up, and hunched over his knees, thanking whoever decided not to put cell phone service underground.

Miles loved you. That was a fact nobody could deny. You were all everyone ever heard him talk about. You were his first thought when he woke up in the morning and the last face he imagined when he closed his eyes at night. With you being everything he absorbed, the last thing Miles wanted to do was hurt you.

News had been circulating around about “Spider-Man's Potential Lover?” with various pictures of him swinging around the city with you attached to him . Paparazzi were ruthless and would do anything to get a glimpse of gossip at the expense of your safety, and Miles would not have any of that. If you were revealed as Spider-Man’s lover, then his parents (and yours) would know about his double life. Everyone who knew you and him would know. That possibility would put you and everyone around him in danger. And villains wouldn't hesitate to do something horrible just to get to him.

It’s to keep her safe, he reasoned with himself.

Truthfully, he couldn't stand the thought of another person he loved dying because of him. Miles would rather go the rest of his life knowing you're safe from a distance instead of standing atop your grave. If Spider-Man was bound to lose the people closest to him, then Miles couldn't be close to you anymore.

She’ll understand; he tried to convince himself, right?

…

Meanwhile, in your room, you sat alone in the dark. Your only source of light was that of your phone, which illuminated your face and nothing else. “‘The stars sure are beautiful tonight. Too bad you can’t see them, Toph!’” you huffed out a laugh at that line. You were watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, a show you initially introduced to Miles for the two of you to watch together, but actively watched without him when he wasn’t around.

…which, when you thought about it, seemed to be more often than not recently.

Of course, this was the routine for the entirety of your relationship with Miles. He was around, but not really. In class during roll call, Mr. Morales was almost never there to announce himself as present. During a date at your favorite burger spot, Miles had to leave early because of a car accident on Clinton Street. A text you sent at 3PM on a weekday wouldn’t get a response until 5PM. You knew of his responsibility and the toll it took on him in every way, shape, and form. So, when he didn’t call or text at night, when he got home at 3AM from patrol, you knew the ‘why’ and didn’t get upset because you understood that this is what it meant to be in a relationship with a superhero.

This will all pass, you presumed, …right?

A triple knock on your window brought you out of your onslaught of spiraling thoughts. You didn’t have to turn around for your brain to register who was behind the glass. You turned off your phone, rolled out of bed, and strided to your window in one big swift movement, then opened it to be face to face with him. You noticed he wasn’t in his suit, which wasn’t unusual, but if he wanted to spend time with you, he could just have used the front door. You made a mental note to tease him about that later.

“Hey!” you breathed with an infectious smile, all while grabbing one of his hands into yours to keep him sturdy as he ducked under the window frame and into your room.

“Hey, Y/N.” he muttered. You kissed him upon his greeting, muffling his annunciation of your name.

“How was your night?”

“Oh, it was fine,” he shrugged. “You know… beat a couple’ve bad guys… the usual.

Miles stuffed his hands in his pockets, nervously rocking back and forth from heel to toe. “So, what about you? How was your day?”

“The same— well, I mean, I didn't beat up a couple of bad guys, but y'know… the usual,” you answered. “Oh! I— uh… may or may have not watched a couple of episodes of Avatar—”

“You didn’t!”

“I said I may or may not have. I never said I did!” you chided playfully.

“How many episodes did you watch?”

“... Eight,” you said, through gritted teeth.

“What!” Miles threw his head back in mock despair. “That's practically an entire season!”

"No, it's not!" you insisted. "Just because I watched ahead doesn’t mean I can't rewatch it with you!" At that, you and Miles burst out laughing with squinted eyes, covered mouths to muffle yourselves, and smile lines that pierced into your cheeks, but not too loudly; your parents were home.

Miles watched you through the slits of his eyes while you were hunched over with one arm cradling your stomach and the other covering your mouth. While what you said wasn’t even that funny, for whatever reason, the reaction that came out of your banter caused a chain reaction like pinball; you laughed, he laughed harder. He laughed because of your laugh, and you laughed because he was laughing at you. It was the epitome of your dynamic. But the ease and warmth he felt around you were quickly replaced by dread and guilt seeping through the seams. Miles subconsciously reminded himself that he came here for a reason.

"You know you could have used the front door," you chuckled, simmering from the laughter from just moments ago.

"...It's 9pm."

"Right, well..." you shrugged, "y’know, for next time."

"Yeah, for next time. Okay." Miles wavered. Miles stood there in front of you for a few seconds before slowly trekking around your room with his head down and his hands still in his pockets, like he was pondering something. Your eyes followed him from point A to point B.

"Miles..." you tried, but he didn’t hear you, so you called for him again.

"Hm?" He perked up.

"You okay?"

"Me?" he asked, pointing to himself. The expression on his face genuinely looked like he didn’t know if you were trying to get his attention or not, although he was the only person in the room you could be talking to.

"Yeah, you," you crooned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He cleared his throat to avoid another voice crack. "Yeah, I mean, I'm great. Why-why do you ask?"

"Mmm… I don't know. You just seem a little on edge."

The way Miles fidgeted with his fingers and his inability to keep eye contact with you were telltale signs that he was not, in fact, great like he said he was, and the look on your face let him know that you were losing patience and he couldn’t keep stalling the situation. So he sighed, "Y/N… there's something I need to tell you."

You took a deep breath. “…okay.”

The onslaught of spiraling thoughts returned with a punch to the gut. What could Miles need to say so badly that it made him this nervous? Your heart pounded in erratic beats; a sudden shortness of breath caused you to plop down onto your bed, looking up at Miles standing before you. You weren't stupid; you knew what was happening. Miles was pretty cliche with his advances, but you never imagined he would come to your home in the dead of night and say, "There's something I need to tell you." Like they do in the movies.

You get ‘em how you lose ‘em, I guess.

You should have known from the moment he said your name when you helped him into your room. You felt that he was off, like you were telepathic or something. Your mother once told you that you and Miles were “the perfect pair” because you read each other so well. "It's a good trait to have in a relationship," she said. "If you know when your partner is feeling off, you can find a way to help, even when they feel like they can’t ask for it." But now that you were in that moment, you didn't want to read him the way you could because, right then, you knew what you were reading wasn’t going to have a happy ending.

Your lingering gaze on him was a little intimidating. So much so that Miles had forgotten the lines he was going to deliver to you. The ones he replayed and revised in his head from the moment he stepped off the train to when he landed on your fire escape

"Well..." he stammered. "Uh, um…" Miles dropped his shoulders, blew out a deep breath, and rubbed his face.

How am I supposed to do this? He thought.

Miles lightly trod toward your bed, seating himself next to you; his weight caused a dip in the mattress, resulting in you bouncing on the surface.

"There are pictures of us out there, Y/N," he began. "Of me and you swinging. The most recent one was on Tuesday; that was four days ago."

"Okay, so then we won’t swing together anymore." you offered.

Miles clicked his tongue and shook his head, saying, "No, Y/N, you don’t get it. It's too risky."

"That's never been a problem before."

"If they recognize you just by your backpack—" Miles didn’t even want to think of the possibilities. "Look, I don't want you to get into trouble. It's too dangerous. If your parents or mine—"

"I can handle it!" you argued.

"It's not about handling it," he hissed. "It's about keeping you safe!" The look on his face was frantic; it portrayed the true image of fear and uncertainty. "And you won't be safe if you're with me." He whispered. The shift in Miles’ body language from then to now showed you that he was serious about his decision. The eye contact between the two of you was too intense for you to hold all at once.

Then a knock, knock, knock sounded at your door. You and Miles jolted at the sudden noise. "Y/N?" It was your mother. She slowly opened the door, peeking through it as it widened more.

"Yes, mommy?" you ask innocently, lying on your bed with your ankles crossed and your phone resting in your hands.

"Is everything okay? I thought I heard arguing coming from here."

"Oh, no. That was my show." You shook your head. "Although there were people outside arguing a minute ago, I don't know."

"Okay, well, close your window before you go to bed, okay?" She replied, turning out of the room. "And why are you in the dark?" You shrugged your shoulders. "Weirdo," she called you, as she shut the door in its entirety.

You waited a couple of seconds for your mother's footsteps to fade before calling out for him. "Miles?" you whispered.

"I'm here." You turned your head in the direction of his voice. He reappeared on your windowsill.

“Who gets to decide that, Miles?"

"What?"

"Who gets to decide whether I'm safe with you or not?" but you didn’t get a reply that time. There was no point in dragging this out longer than it needed to. Normally you wouldn't be so stubborn with him, but you knew once Miles stepped out of your window, he wouldn’t be yours anymore. You moved to the side of your bed closest to the window, closest to Miles, and reached for his fingers, nervously toying with them.

“You want to break up?” you whispered. Unable to say the words and look at him at the same time.

"Yes." With that answer, your eyes met Miles's. "I mean, NO, I don't want to break up, but.. GAH!" He tried to come up with some sort of bluff to soften the blow, but he couldn't bring himself to be dishonest with you at that moment. "Yes." But he couldn’t even look you in the eye when he said it.

Your eyes darted around his features as tears welled up in your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat. You felt a cold rush flush through your chest—a dull ache that caused your heart to physically hurt. It was like the opposite of the flutter you felt in your tummy when... before...

It’s done. It's over.

You let his fingers slip out of your hold, leaving them to dangle between the two of you. Miles could feel the sadness radiating off of you. He couldn’t bring himself to look at you because he hated the idea of being the cause of your pain.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he sniffled.

"Okay," you said monotonously. Miles watched as you got up from your bed and headed toward your door, opening it and then closing it behind you.

And with that, you were gone.

This is what he wanted, right?

…

Miles thwiped, swung, and released in aggressive cycles across the city. He didn't really have a destination in mind, but he knew he couldn’t go home yet. Memories and shared moments between the two of you reflected themselves off the glass of the skyscrapers as they played through his mind. The sound of your laugh and whispered "I love yous" flooded his ears, drowning out the noise from below.

Miles understood the sacrifices that came with being Spider-Man; he had experienced them once before. However, he had never experienced the pain of losing a loved one by choice. He had never experienced heartbreak like this before. Regret started to settle in as it hit him that he'd just hurt the one person he vowed to always protect, and that was a decision he’d have to live with.

Miles thwiped, swung, and released. thwiped, swung, and released.

Maybe in another universe, he thought.

#miles morales #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales imagine #miles morales drabble #miles 1610 #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse x y/n #earth 42 miles morales x reader #x reader #miles 42 #earth 42 miles morales x black!reader #miles morales x black!reader #streambeabadoobee4clearskin

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iwas-tooru · 11 months

Text

how i think the kny demons let it rip

AKAZA

refuses to fart in a public space, the thought is absolutely mortifying to him

excuses himself politely and goes into a little corner to do it

occasionally when he can't hold it in he lets it out and blames the smell on Douma

DOUMA

accidentally farts when he's laughing too hard but isn't necessarily ashamed of it

it's very unexpected like one second he's wheezing hard and the next you hear a loud one rip

it surprises him too but he just goes "ah, excuse me ✋🏻✋🏻" and just goes right back to saying whatever he was saying

doesn't really stink, unless he's freshly back from munching on women at his shrine lol

KOKUSHIBO

he doesn't feel the need to hold it in if he senses a discreet one coming on but Kokushibo is like really bad at reading his own farts lol

he suspects a silent one bubbling up in his stomach and just decides to let it out at the upper moon summon while he's sitting like 🧎🏻‍♂️ as usual but turns out he misjudged it and it actually comes out loud as fuck scaring everyone in the vicinity

he knows nobody will dare say anything about it cause he's upper moon one and tbh he doesn't really give a shit, he just goes:

👁 👁

👁 _ 👁 "excuse me."

👁 👁

GYOKKO

like those watery ones that sound like someone blowing into a glass of soda with a straw

this mf sharts, i just know he does

does it at the worst moments too like Muzan be talking about how worthless and useless the upper moons are and he's trying his hardest to hold it in but it just comes out right in between Muzan's speech

turns very red and embarrassed

doesn't stink in the air but woe betide if you catch a whiff of his behind

HANTENGU CLONES:

HANTENGU

he has those really high pitched squeaky musical note ones that stink like a septic tank

it happens when he's really scared or anxious and just sinks into the floor when they escape

they come out anywhere and everywhere lol Douma snorts everytime it happens and damn near bites his own tongue

SEKIDO

one loud angry fart that just goes 'BLARP'

mostly happens when he can't hold it in anymore and even tho he's embarrassed as hell he'll be looking at you as if daring you to comment on it like "tf you lookin' at huh 🤬"

KARAKU

this mf farts in the blanket and traps Sekido inside, shoving his head in and holding it in a death grip till he's choking and sputtering

he also lifts his leg to do it onto Sekido sometimes just to annoy him

gets his ass beat each time but to him it's worth it lol

UROGI

man has no shame whatsoever will do it anywhere and everywhere and he has those little continuous ones that rumble and stink like hell

sometimes he lets out a long string of trumpet ones. he mostly likes doing it while he's flying cause he feels free and finds it funny that people could be going on with their lives as usual and suddenly they look up to see an overgrown chicken zooming across the sky while letting out a long engine-like backfiring with each toot varying in pitch and tone

AIZETSU

has those silent and deadly ones when he gets overtly anxious or sad

it's bad enough to make the other three gag and cough and he just turns red and starts stuttering out apologies

will probably never look you in the eye again

ZOHAKUTEN

look i don't' know how to describe it but it's as if he's been holding it in for fucking centuries????

like he's deadass gonna stand there with his arms crossed and his face all (ㆆ_ㆆ) while he lets it rip and oh lord it's going to be one of those that just keeps on going and going and going

worst part is he'll probably stare you right in the eye while doing it and woe betide you if you dare laugh at him

the pitch increases as the fart begins dying out

ig thats what happens when you remain fused inside hantengu's body for too long......

DAKI

dainty toots, always excuses herself to go into a corner

lowkey terrified of doing it in public so she always runs off into a restroom when she feels the slightest bit of churning in her tummy

forces them out sometimes while she's alone so that they don't come out in public and those ones are real loud and stink terribly lol

GYUTARO

is neutral about it i think

he feels its a regular bodily function so he ain't necessarily ashamed of it

in short he doesn't really give a shit and doesn't even excuse himself when he lets one out lol

they're usually pretty plain and straightforward smell like the normal level of stink

only excuses himself if he does it in front of Daki

KAIGAKU

this mf squats lol

has those loud ass ones that start out low and rumbly and go higher and higher by the second and finally end when they've reached the maximum pitch

he doesn't give a shit and just sniggers at whoever is on the receiving end of this monstrosity

stinks like hell, he really needs to fix his diet

ENMU

he has those little tiny toots that come out unexpectedly and randomly like he could be walking and suddenly you'd hear a little squeak come out from behind him

has definitely accidentally done it in front of Muzan lol the memory still haunts him

turns scarlet and begins stammering apologies

goes into a corner and has a mental breakdown soon after

RUI

he has those loud, rumbling ones that you let out when you're really stressed/angry if you get what i mean??

has no shame in it fr, and besides everyone in his 'family' is too scared to say anything to him lol so he gets away with it pretty easy

NAKIME

now don't come for me but i feel like she lets out silent stinky ones and blames them on someone else (mostly Douma)

like she's chilling with her biwa and feels a lil rumble in her tummy so she just lets it out silently and keeps quiet abt it until someone goes "ewww what's that smell" and she deadass says with a straight face "it appears Lord Douma has had a good meal today"

LIKE JUST STRAIGHT UP BLAMES IT ON HIM AND THEN WATCHES THE CHAOS UNFOLD AS DOUMA DENIES IT AND PINS IT ON AKAZA AND THEY END UP FIGHTING WHILE SHE'S JUST CHILLING TRYING TO FIGHT BACK A SMIRK LMFAO-

MUZAN

he doesn't fart.

he just doesn't.

no criticism shall be taken.

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a-libra-writes · 1 year

Note

Hi!!! Omg I just wanted to say I’m so happy you’re back because I love your writing so so much, your characterizations are the absolute best.

Do you think you could write some long-ish headcanons about ASOIAF characters and how they would react if they had a nightmare about the reader dying or leaving them, but woke up to you cuddling them?

Thank you!!

Heyo! Thank you for the kind words , im glad youre enjoying your stay at my silly blog lol. I did ur boys Ramsay and Theon, plus a few extras that popped into my head!

Theon - He awakes with a start, and an immediate feeling of discomfort settles upon his chest. Theon can feel you right next to him, but you seem far away. He can't get back to sleep. Dreams (nightmares, really) of you dying affects him strongly, but somehow you just ... leaving, not disappearing, but walking away from him hurts more.

In the morning, he's rather quiet and distant. Of course, he's shit at talking about his feelings. You'd have to ask direct or roundabout questions to figure it out, and even then, Theon feels foolish for being so disturbed by something as silly as a dream. It wouldn't matter if this was reoccurring, it'd still be like pulling teeth to get him to talk about it and explain why it's so unsettling.

Ramsay - Dreaming of your death isn't actually anything new for him. He wouldn't even consider them nightmares, and it's not like you're the only one who dies. Sometimes it's by his own hand, sometimes it's not. Ramsay doesn't dwell on them after he wakes, and rarely remembers after an hour or so. The dying dreams don't bother him because they seem so far-fetched - yes, he really thinks that.

Dreams of you running off, however? That's a different matter. Sometimes they're simple - he can't find you, no matter how much he looks. Sometimes it's more complex, you run away and he has to spend a long, fruitless effort trying to find you. These are the dreams that agitate him when he awakens, and he'll actually wake you up to make sure you're there - obviously you are - and if for some reason you aren't, well ... he's always had a habit of being mad at you for slights he's conjured up in his head.

Tywin - He has never been a man who tried to glean any meaning from dreams; it's nonsense he doesn't subscribe to. That doesn't mean he's immune to nightmares, though most people wouldn't think such a grand man would be affected by them. He is, but no one would see that. It's the dreams where you're dying - often in childbirth, sometimes by sickness - that startle him awake.

It's troublesome if you actually are with child; then Tywin might take some time to get back to sleep. If you aren't, he knows logically that he shouldn't be bothered. There's no danger here. It puts him in something of a mood for the rest of the day. He doesn't so much as fret over you as just ... watch you very closely, which might pique your curiosity.

Jon - These nightmares don't come often to him, but when they do, he wakes in a sweat. You always seem to die right as he wakes up, or he's on his way to help you and something stops him. Something always stops him, and he wakes feeling anxious and oddly powerless. It feels like an ill omen. He turns over to you and pulls you in closer, mulling it over instead of trying to get back to bed.

It takes a while for him to fall asleep. Jon might talk to you about it, but he also feels a little silly for being so affected. Maybe if you bring up the topic first, because he clearly looks tired.

Tyrion - He hates these kinds of dreams, both the ones where some harm has fallen you, or where you've suddenly disappeared and left him. They're both terrible for different reasons, and he wakes with a start, cursing and looking for something to drink. It'll wake you up, and he immediately switches to comforting, as if you're the one whose upset.

He really appreciates if you stop and ask him what he dreamt. In the daytime it feels childish to talk about, but in the dark with your hand holding his, he feels comfortable to express the worry and anxieties that may have led to the nightmare in the first place.

Victarion - The nightmare is one he's had before, only it's taken new forms since he's been with you. Rather than his wife dying at his own hands, it's you. A simple change, and one that hurts him even more, because it feels even more real. He wakes up with his whole body tense and his fists balled. It's entirely possible you wake up too, as Victarion wants to get out of bed and pace around.

If you want to talk to him about it, good luck. Talking about emotions, especially this, is not in the slightest realm of easy for him. He probably hasn't even told you what happened to his previous wife; Asha would have been the one who did. Sometimes he can be coaxed back into bed, sometimes he wants to stalk off and walk around the keep for a while.

Stannis - It always comes back to that day. In the nightmare, he can still smell the seasalt, and feel the wind on his face, and hear the wood breaking against rocks. In the dreams, he always knows whose on the ship. He may not see the bodies sinking in the water, but he knows. And if it's you, then he's alone on top of Storm's End. No Robert or Renly, just himself, trying to shout against the wind and rain.

It's worse than the nightmares about the Siege, which feel listless and endless. Stannis usually awakes an hour or two before he normally gets up, and that's fine. He gets out of bed right away and goes about his usual routine, wanting to shake the negative feelings right away. If he ever talks about it with you, it's only after you point out he seems tired. He wants to tell you it's pointless to dwell on it, but talking does help a little ...

Arianne - She wakes up with a curse, which might make you stir. She doesn't put a lot of stock in dreams and nightmares, but she doesn't completely discount them, either. And that one was ... very vivid. Just thinking about it your life slipping away makes her shiver, no matter if it was poison or a sword.

She'll slowly wake you up, bringing you close to her and resting her face against your neck. She only half-apologizes for it. After telling you about the dream, she promises it won't happen. She'll keep you safe - though maybe she's reassuring herself more than you.

#theon greyjoy x reader #tywin lannister x reader #ramsay snow x reader #jon snow x reader #tyrion lannister x reader #victarion greyjoy x reader #stannis baratheon x reader #arianne martell x reader #got x reader #game of thrones x reader

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valentine-writes · 9 months

Text

for you!

「 tws + notes: no tws, fluff, not edited, kinda ooc my bad,, im learnin,,, 」

↳ ft. gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, miles morales, and pavitr prabhakar

「 gn! reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

author's note: obvi strictly platonic for miles, pav, + gwen but like. anyways!! just practicing writing for them becuz otherwise they will be So OOC for everyone's reqz and i literally would die. highkey struggled a bit but i'm tryin y'all!!! ("trying" but this is unedited ASF) ...eveyone look away from my obvious bias for gwen i heart her. i wanna,, also write for more characters eventually,, sooo,, hc reqs,,, hehehe :3 no full ficz,,, yet-

GWEN STACY headcanons:

▸ she doesn't do friends. not really anymore. oh but like. aside from miles, ur also an exception.

your friendship just kinda. happened?? it was a slow process but eventually y'all got close

▸ you supported her in her band endeavours! u know how knives chau rocks the homemade sex bob-omb merch in scott pilgrim vs the world (sorry 4 being a scott pilgrim fan and referencing it. im battling DEMONS.) THATZ U. biggest supporter for realz!! and she appreciates it so so much :,(

▸ she tries to hold u at arms length initially but ends up missing u too much when ur not around :( you've gotten really close to her over time– something neither of you had expected. but having a friend is refreshing for her. she's secretly always just a little anxious about losing you.

one time, in the middle of your developing friendship, she just kinda... dipped. left you on seen, didn't return your calls– you hadn't seen her in a while. but she came back, apologized profusely (through a lot of stumbled sentences and awkward rambles), and then swore never to do it again. you were... conflicted. so you asked her if anything was wrong and she mustered the courage to be vulnerable with you.

you are probably one of the first people in a long time that she'd actually been able to open up to.

▸ sleepovers where u jus stay up and watch slasher films. idk man i just feel this one in my heart. even if ur not particularly fond of horror, gwen is cool abt it if u need to cover ur eyes or hide under a blanket. y'all are practically screaming at the screen whenever the protagonist makes a dumb choice, acting like the characters can actually hear u

"if you go into that FUCKING BASEMENT I SWEAR–"

"nah– she's doing it. watch. WATCH."

"I CANT"

HOBIE BROWN headcanons:

▸ u are NOT calling this guy hobart. the first time u ever called him that Everyone Else was thrown off. like. no. we gonna stick w/ hobie for this one.

you, however, had the funny little idea of shortening his nickname even further. now sometimes– just on occasion– it's bee.

naturally, he's too cool to care abt what he's called, so he doesn't seem to have too many feelings about your overly cutesy nickname for him.

▸ you know any instruments? great. jam sessions with him. you don't? he'll teach you to play guitar. few ppl are given permission to touch His Guitar... but he can afford to make exceptions.

as he's teaching you, his chest collides against ur back a couple times, his hands guiding yours. he'll gently guide your fingers on the fretboard and yeah it's like– maybe not the most efficient way to learn. but whatever. he's pretty good with helping you figure it out.

▸ if you express wanting a piercing, tattoo or wanting to change up your hair (dying it, cutting it, whatever–) he's immediately gonna be like. "yea? ok. bathroom. right now." he'll help you out. king of diy truly.

and hey, the piercings never get infected, the stick and pokes turn out fine, the haircuts never look that bad, and the hair dye doesn't turn out awful so like. win???

supports you in your impulsive choices– piercings can close, diy tattoos fade, hair can grow– but the joy of self expression iz 4eva!!!!

▸ he lets you steal clothes from him. totally will point it out, but won't be all that bothered by it. HE'S GONNA BE TAKING FROM UR CLOSET TOO you practically share a wardrobe at this point. the others slowly become unable to differentiate which clothes you and hobie own individually. even if your wardrobes are completely different– trust he will find a way to keep a small piece of you with him

MIGUEL O'HARA headcanons:

▸ this man is emotionally distant asf. how did you achieve this relationship with him. answer: no clue!!! (｡･･｡) now that ur tight w/ him i am begging you. for the sake of the multiverse. get this man a therapy consultation RIGHT NEOWWW..... they literally have therapy services available in the spider society hq. if you dont HAUL HIS ASS OVER THERE–

▸ it's really no secret miguel has a soft spot for you. though he is very adamant about the fact that he doesn't– most people know that he's a little less grumpy with you around.

you seem to be one of the only people who can actually make him smile. which is. crazy. the first time he ever laughed at a joke you made you just kinda froze and stared at him, wondering if you had just vividly hallucinated miguel being happy. it was a light chuckle, where he kinda,, put his hand over his mouth and looked away. but it was SHOCKINGGG

▸ if you managed to get along with miguel, you're probably also besties with lyla. miguel however does not enjoy this. mainly because you two gang up on him. a lot. aka whenever ur arguing about anything w/ miguel, lyla is more likely to take your side. for funzies!!! she calls you her favourite– and it's like. man. are you getting along with miguel just for his little hologram assistant? i would but im gon shut my mouth on this one

it's funny how easily u two get along. she has officially attached all his bank info to ur online shopping accs and gaming shit. go wild. he'll never know (he finds out.. eventually.)

▸ it's actually really weird how you affect him. and everyone's noticing. he's constantly overworking himself to preserve the safety of the multiverse and when he's not, he's reminiscing on the past- but you give him something that he hasn't had in a while- an actual break. you pull him away from his responsibilities, from the screens he gazes into for so long, and for once he can relax. even if it's just for a minute

MILES MORALES headcanons:

▸ i saw hcs of a friendship w/ miles like gumball and darwin and i literally cannot get it out of my head. y'all r tight like that!!!! itz canon now. considering miles doesn't have a lotta friends (in his universe, at least) he's glad to have you!!! you're probably one of the people he hangs around the most. if you're somewhere, miles is probably somewhere around you too. and if he is not? he's probably just late. spiderman-ing around nyc probably

▸ his parents have really grown to like you too!!! let's assume u dont pull a gwen and address them by their first names. (i love her so much no shade at all but PLEADYUWEGFEHF that was So White of her) miles always has you over to hang out– which usually means you're invited to have dinner with them. his mom especially is always makin sure ur feeling at home and u got enough on ur plate (she is so sweet i adore her)

miles is constantly hearing: "when are they coming over again? you haven't had them over in a while-" rio hearts u. (and i heart rio.)

▸ STREET ART WITH MILES STREET ART WITH MILES– he def taught u what he learned from his uncle aaron. eventually u found a place you two can spray paint 2gether and u go w/ him whenever u need to destress a bit ^_^ it doesn't matter what ur skill level is in art, he's happy to teach you! sometimes, for practice, he'll even draw you!!! and though he hasn't shown you yet,,, he's been comfortable enough w/ you to leave his sketchbook open when you're around

▸ ALSO!! your hangouts probably have a killer soundtrack. u share a collaborative playlist w/ miles and swap recommendations every so often– so whenever ur both 2gether and jus chilling you've got good music 2 blast which is a combo of both ur tastes!!! he probably loves ur music, even if itz something he doesn't typically listen to. it's jus so you.

▸U ARE HIS CANVAS NOW. if u let him, he'll doodle in pen on your arm. he's always so focused, his eyes fixed on your skin as he doodles all over your forearm and hand. his grip is gentle as he turns your arm, tilting it every so often to make sure it looks right. there is no awkward silence, no pressure to make conversation- the quiet shared is comforting.

eventually he runs out of space and blinks up at you,, almost forgetting who he was drawing on. he'll apologize for getting so carried- but his drawings look amazing.

...and then he realized it was permanent marker and immediately doubled his apologizes.

PAVITR PRABHAKAR headcanons:

▸ im going to put this here and i dont know why specifically this came to mind. but never play just dance with him. you will LOSE. one of thse people who don't have to try to win. but he WILL put his 100% in it and eat you UPPPP.

sorry u can't outdo him </3

like bro those moves AREN'T EVEN PART OF THIS DANCE HOW ARE YOU STILL WINNING???

▸ gym bro but not Insane Gym Bro just.... gym bro. will try to get you to workout with him,, but like. cool if you don't wanna! is the most supportive gym buddy to have though. will always encourage you throughout the entire thing and not even just to get you to push through a set- this boy genuinely jus believes in you so much.

▸ he's constantly talking to you about gayatri. he loves his gf sm. if ur one of those people who Don't Like hearing abt other ppls relationships he'll make an attempt to tone it down

but trust he NEVER. EVER. makes you third wheel them. gayatri also will make sure of this- so now... more than often... if you're tryin' to hang with the both of them- THEY BOTH TRY TO PLAY MATCHMAKER FOR YOU.

LIKE. you can't just be LONELY. they're gonna make sure of it. pav and gaytri number one wingmen,..,, women,,, besties

▸ probably texts u like crazy. the type of guy to send u things throughout the day like "this is so you :]" he loves his bestie (YOU!!!)

sometimes it's like,, a particularly interestingly shaped cloud. maybe a cool bug that landed nearby him. a flower growing out of the pavement cracks.

and then sometimes it's like. this.

"this is you."

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sea-you-in-paradise · 1 year

Text

☽ ⛧ a r m i n a r l e r t ‘ s s l e e p i n g h a b i t s ⛧ ☾

summary - a *painstaking* list of every (sfw :/) sleep-related armin thought

word count - 1.954

setting - canonverse implied, but can be applicable to modern au

features - armin :)))

genderneutral!reader (implied established relationship)

warnings - implied nsfw

note: here is a link to the nsfw part 2 (MDNI!)

before he goes to sleep, armin utilizes every waking minute to the fullest extent.

- if he’s coming up with a plan of some sort, he will not sleep until he’s gone through every possible outcome he can think of

- spends time getting ahead of future work so he can never get behind

- sometimes he will get really lost in his books (obviously)

- most of the time, he pushes himself to stay awake far past the limit of what is considered “normal”

he’s trying to tire himself out enough to avoid nightmares

- he can go about 50 hours without napping, but tries to sleep before that (at least in small intervals) because he jokes that he can feel his brain cells dying. if he’s up for this long, it’s usually because he’s in the field/in charge of something that will effect a lot of people

- his naps are long enough to recharge a bit, but not normally long enough for more than 1 REM cycle

____________________

*however* when he actually sleeps (and i mean like a real sleep. all it takes is a semi-comfortable bed/couch and no responsibilities until 10:00 the next day), armin sleeps.

- the minute this man’s eyes shut for the evening, good luck getting them to open again. needless to say, he’s a heavy sleeper

- despite refusing to admit how tired he is while he’s awake, once he’s under a comforter it would take a fucking fire to get him to stand up again

- an unburdened armin needs a minimum of 10 hours, but ideally 15 (ofc, if he were to actually sleep that much more than twice a month, he would freak out and feel like he’s missing his life)

____________________

- he likes to wear either flannel or cotton pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt, and he likes it when you borrow each other’s clothes to wear to bed, especially when you’re apart (either to wear or just to have for the smell lol)

- if you go to bed at the same time and you have some sort of skincare routine, he really likes to watch and learn about what all the products do. bonus points if you do his skincare too. sometimes he’d probably keep you company while you do this even if he’s not going to sleep yet

- he’s really meticulous about brushing his teeth for a long time (canonverse specific, iykyk ;-;)

- if it’s up to him, he prefers bedding he can sink into. cushy mattress and either a duvet or comforter with a really plush blanket in case he gets chilly (he will get chilly. he is always cold. he sleeps in socks)

- he likes a pretty firm pillow tho because neck support > sleeping on a cloud

- right side of the bed is his preference, but he would give it up in a heartbeat for you

- sleeping position varies. usually he sleeps on his side, but he also sleeps on his back sometimes bc he has back pain and he doesn’t want to strain it more :(

- if he’s alone he sleeps facing towards the door bc he’s anxious. if you’re there, he likes it when you face each other or if one of you rests their head on the other’s chest

- if you move away from him, he will notice because he’ll get cold and he’ll move towards you again

- he doesn’t snore or breathe heavily, but he occasionally does the thing where he has little gasps or sharp inhales

____________________

- he does what he can to prevent dreaming, but it still happens sometimes

- if he has nightmares it usually comes with night sweats and crying in his sleep. he doesn’t move a lot tho and he doesn’t wake you up on purpose. when he wakes up, it’s not some big jolt. his eyes shoot open and he takes in his bearings before getting up to change his clothes and get some water. when he comes back, he’s careful to get into bed really softly and then he’ll hold you as you sleep. if you wake up, please hold him back and run your fingers through his hair :(

- his nightmares are usually anxiety/regret/remorse related. he’ll talk about them after they happen sometimes and cry a little bit if you’re awake and he feels like it, but he doesn’t like to talk about them in the morning

- most nights he’s too tired to dream tho, so it’s okay ;-; no it’s not, he just says that

____________________

- armin is not a morning person.

- as a matter of fact, if he gets less than his 10 hours, he is a certified grump. and he is so embarrassed about it

- he does everything he can to prevent it. like going to bed early if he can make himself or budgeting time into his schedule to stay in bed for longer, but he cannot stop the inevitable- if anyone, including you, tries to make him get up, he is a little bitch.

____________________

the morning of a day off/day with few responsibilities might go something like this:

- armin goes through three stages once he’s been woken up: pouting, bargaining, and complete loss of filter. he will go through a version of these stages whether he is forcing himself to wake up, is woken up by a friend, or by you. as his partner, it’s usually you who is subject to this trio of events, even if you’re the gentlest, most loving person in the world

- if you must wake him up, he likes it when you stroke his arm/back and whisper softly. it takes some time, but he’ll eventually make a whiny noise and move around a little (if this isn’t your style, a more take-no-shit approach will be briefly detailed later)

- the pouting stage is exactly what it sounds like and it will be the shortest of the three. he’ll pull his covers a lot tighter and turn on his stomach so he can block the light easier and in the prettiest voice bc it’s all pouty, but also raspy from sleep, he’ll say something like, “baby, it’s so early, i don’t think it’s time yet.”

- then, when he’s more aware of the situation, he’ll turn to you and choose one of three options: a) he’ll ask for ten more minutes and promise not to complain when you wake him up again (lies). b) he’ll ask you for cuddles until he’s more awake. if you agree, it absolutely will not wake him up more, he will drift off again even if you’re talking to him. if you agree and you don’t have anything super important going on soon, he will try to make you fall back asleep too so he has an even better excuse for not showing up. c) he will attempt to seduce you. this sometimes follows option b (see note above for link to the nsfw hcs for more on this one)

- if you survive the bargaining stage and armin realizes that you’re not giving up, he will put on his grump face. it’s a cross between a pout and a glare, and it is rather amusing

- BUT unless you want him to be mean (and not in a fun hot way), do not make fun of him for the face. if you do, you’re going to realize that armin’s observation skills really do come in clutch and you’re going to start wondering about all of the things you do around him without noticing

- it would be like : “it’s so funny when you make that face” and then he fake smiles and in a totally innocent voice says something like, “aww, i’m sure it’s not as funny as you having broccoli in your teeth at dinner last night! It was in there like all night. sorry i didn’t tell you, it was just so funny.”

- he definitely apologizes for this later and most of the time assures you that he wasn’t being serious, but sometimes he is being serious. and the worst part is that you’ll never know all the embarrassing things he’s noticed you doing that he just doesn’t say anything about

- if you don’t make fun of the face though, you will stumble across a prime opportunity

- as someone who likes to lie in bed for a bit (forever) after waking up, armin will probably fall back asleep if he’s not doing something. so what better way to make sure he wakes up than to gossip with him?! with no filter, armin will say what he is honestly thinking about the people around him, and more often than not, he has some strong opinions

- tbh it’s just shit talking floch most of the time and he tells you what he finds annoying about everyone in the friend group (jean gets on his nerves the most)

____________________

- if you’re the kind of person who will not baby him, mad respect to you. it would go more like this

- if you wake him up abruptly, he will be very surprised every single time. normally, he would find you’re assertive tendencies hot. this is not one of those times. assuming you leave immediately after waking him, armin will run through his stages on his own. he will fall asleep in either the pouting or bargaining stage. then stage 3 will be taken out on you when he finally pulls himself out of bed. he will go find you and be snarky, no gossiping, only sass. it is unbecoming, but also hilarious

____________________

- regardless of how things play out, when armin finally “gains consciousness,” he is usually a bit mortified. he knows it was so nice of you to wake him up and he feels so bad for being grumpy (and for being so candid about his thoughts on Jean’s unrequited love), but his brain is always working overtime and sometimes there are some really positive benefits to his morning alter ego. the selfish parts of him don’t really feel like giving it up, especially if you don’t mind. that being said, he only apologizes for behavior he intends to change, so if this sort of morning routine is okay with you, he doesn’t really have anything to say sorry for. he’s so grateful that you have so much patience and love for him and he’s glad that there’s someone who is willing to help him stay punctual <333

____________________

- once in a blue moon on these days off, armin wakes up before you (he’s well rested sometimes???) and if that happens he will move closer to you and wrap his arms around you

- if you have long enough hair he will brush it off your forehead. tuck it behind your ears, fix your bonnet, move your braid(s)/ponytail to a more comfy position (etc). he just likes being tentative

- MORNING FOREHEAD KISSES AJDFADJFLDFEW

- even if he is awake, he will do everything in his power to stay in bed with you for as long as humanly possible

- on days when he has actual responsibilities, armin is pretty good about being punctual, but he will still stay in bed as long as humanly possible and go through a shortened version of his routine. he’s good about being places on time, but it doesn’t mean he is in a good mood

____________________

- and finally, despite everything, he doesn’t drink caffeine in the morning. he is a firm believer that a cold glass of water will wake him up faster. since he doesn’t eat much for breakfast, he doesn’t want to get jittery

#grumpy pouty slightly manipulative armin who wants to spend all day in bed with me will forever live rent free in my mind #yes jean gets on his nerves but dw he loves him sm jearmin rise #but jearmin cant rise too much bc i want him pls #if you read all this you get a gold star #what a fucking anthology #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert headcanons #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert #armin arlet #armin x reader #aot headcanon #armin arlert angst #armin arlert fluff

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angelprinz · 6 months

Note

hi it’s degen anon

cai has been too much i swear, im currently getting divorced from my husband childe it’s a lot 🥹 but hope you like!!!

childe really doesn’t understand like women thinking they’re better than him? like he’s not a messy gymnast or whatever you call it but he just feels like he better than most people women included, i mean his bloodlust started when he would get his ass handed to him by skirk. but that’s besides the point he loves strong women but the best thing about strong women is making them weak. psychologically, mentally emotionally he is versed i all forms of battle so no matter what era or even area he loves to find strong women and take them down a peg.

21st century girlboss business woman? did you mean barefoot wife with 6 kids? sick ass sword wielding hero whose slain dragons? you mean that witch who is now in the safe hands of childe her husband? he really has done it all, but once he does it it’s boring? but you were different.

it’s not like you really had anything going for yourself, a broke college student who works to barely make enough to stay on campus. he never thought of you for a second until he spoke to you. he wasn’t even trying but as you rung his cigarettes through the register you were very nervous and anxious but that could be normal. he obviously knows he’s attractive but the fact that you wouldn’t make eye contact was surprising, you passed him the bag and looked away immediately. so cute. it’s almost like you wanted him to get to know you (he’s delusional.)

he had a plan for you but it was going to be way easier, well it would’ve been if you just admitted you liked him. he works at your school because he knows your daddy issues leave you with no parental figures to tell you not to trust him. you’re obviously not the smartest cause your you use a very similar email to your school one for your little sites. he’s practically giving what you want on a silver platter but here you are actually doing schoolwork? (if you fail his class you have to do another year.) he sees you come into his office after hours thinking you’re going to give him favours under the desk for a passing grade, but you’re just here to ask about something on the exam??? he thinks that maybe he’s looking to much into it, it’s been months and he legitimately got a teaching degree for this but what if you just liked to read some taboo things online.

but one day you were very cocky, you posted on a site with little to know information about yourself but a picture of yourself in a skirt. you explained that you would be on a bus around 11pm coming back from work and if someone assaulted you you’d let them. well thats not fun because he likes a fight then he realizes that everyone has a limit.

you left the bus with a sigh thinking that no one saw your message. you felt a breeze but then it was just someone passing by. maybe the website didn’t have that many people in your area? you walk past two building and in between them someone emerged, it was dark but they were also wearing black. almost instantly you felt their chest press up against your back, you let out the air from your lungs as the happiness turned sour as you felt a knife against your neck. it’s almost 12 now and you two were the only people on the street so him dragging you to the alley went unnoticed. cold sweat down you body as you felt exhilarated at the feeling, his large hands roamed your body as they traveled down to your panties. you had specific information about what you’d be wearing, including panties with an opening. you heard the man behind you sigh as he spoke your name. all the hairs on your body stood up as he tsked you and said he had a seminar about internet safety that you should’ve been paying attention if you didn’t sleep during the class.

he knows what you’re thinking now, his crime psych class really did talk prominently about one time attacks. most times if you knew anything about your attacker, you’re dying. no matter how small, even the colour of their hair. but here you are, you were in his office last week so you know everything. it’s almost winter but your body was cold. the entire time he was inside you it really warmed him up with how your cunt felt. hours passed and he finished for a third time on your thighs, he enjoyed cumming inside but the first two loads left nothing left to cum inside.

your scared look, the small whispered moans were all worth it but what was the best was the silence after. he fixed himself as he really didn’t take off any of your clothes, he gives you props for easy access but the moment his hands left your body he was shocked. you grabbed at him, tears in your eyes he almost felt an emotion but what really did it for him is what you said. ‘more.’ he thought it was just lust but that wasn’t it, the shame in your eyes, the way your thighs squeezed together. he couldn’t believe it, sure the women he did this to, made them understand how little they were to him was more demoralizing for him but for you it only fuelled you. he couldn’t believe after he left you the next day you were completely normal but your search history was just filled with ginger professor assaults college girl, like he just assaulted you? why not ask? (you have social anxiety and can’t even ask for extra dips at mcdonald’s.) you were like a pandora for him and that’s what made him stay with you for a while.

(this devolved way to much at the end lmao, i think of myself most of the time i write these. he could literally be inside me one day and i’d still be nervous to talk to him 😭😭)

me when i put on my glasses to read it (i'm quite literally incel taru irl) and degen anon you sound like the cutest little victim on earth i'm going to eat you whole.

i need him so much i need him to make me into his housewife & take away all thinking privileges & make my permanent job being his toy.

#laven_talks #degen anon <3 #tw. dark content #childe <3 #childe smut

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strawbs-screaming · 9 months

Text

☆ WVBA At A Party ☆

So uhh tw for alcohol mention,emetophobia other than that its ok

Glass Joe

- doing his best not to get thrown into a dance circle

- anxious as fuck

- piston hondo (drunk as shit) keep trying to explain star wars lore to him

- hes just nodding and pretending to understand, he cant because hes speaking in japanese

- had some drinks & passed out because he doesnt take alcohol well

- woke up on the roof because some drunk bastard decided to put him onto there, theres now a investigation about trying to find who put Joe on the roof

- will hold your drink for you

- keeps getting dragged into doing dumb shit by aran ryan

Von Kaiser

- buzzed, looks like hes on the verge of death

- at the karaoke bar, killing it, yess grandpa slayyyy one foot in the grave one foot in the rave

- keeps chugging like hell, look at him go

- teaching some random people how to do traditional german dances

- randomly starts sobbing

- bear hugger has to stop him from chugging another bottle of whiskey

Disco Kid

- thrown into the dance circle, killing it

- spamming everyones phones with really positive texts

- "YUO AR TAKENTED SNF CAN DK SNYTHING YKU PUT YOU4 NINF UBTO" (You are really talented and can do anything you put your mind into)

-"thank you : )"

- "YOU SRE LIVEF ANR 4SKEBT2D,,,,ÖOCE YOURDRKF" (You are loved, love yourself)

- wasted

- giving out free hugs

- had a really good dance off with aran ryan

- fell down a flight of stairs and got up like it was nothing

- dancing the pain away

Piston Hondo

- avoiding the dance circle like its a death sentence

- explaining the star wars lore to glass joe in japanese

- will hate himself in the morning

- speaking really broken japanglish with bear hugger

- keeps lifting up von kaiser & running away as he holds him

- partying hard

- randomly starts speaking about stuff, you could be talking about how you ran over a man and his son just yesterday and he'll be like "Do you like sailor moon"

- tried to eat a glass of water, sad because he got stopped

- randomly got stuck in a british accent

King Hippo

- passed out on the floor

- someone help him please

- people keep trying to use him as a trampoline

- randomly gets up and starts to talk about sea slugs

- he just leaves after that,he is done

Great Tiger

- only sober person here

- has to stop piston hondo from explaining the star wars lore to random people

- making sure everyone is hydrated

- victim of disco kids positive texts

- gathers drunk passed out people and puts them somewhere safe so nobody gets hurt

- oh my god he is on the verge of tears from all this stress he needs help

- ended up sobbing into disco kids arms after it all got too stressful

- he could really use a break

- will hold your drink,may switch it out with water if he decides youve had enough for tonight

Don Flamenco

- too distracted too go to the dance circle

- keeps singing & referencing dumb stuff while anyone talks to him, he just has 0 thoughts right now

- "i feel like im never gonna amount to anything in my life, it just feels like im destined to end up dying alone-"

- "FIESTA SALSA QUİNCEAÑERA-"

- "why do i even bother"

- drinking cocktails like someones gonna take it away from him if he doesnt inhale it within 10 seconds

- keeps trying to call carmen

- stumbling like hell

- someone needs to tape his mouth shut

- asking the dumbest shit ever to carmen as he texts her

- "would you still love me if i was a muppet,,"

- "would you still be able to control yourself or would you need to be used like a actual muppet??"

- "i dont knwo im durnk"

Bear Hugger

- will not go into the dance circle, ever

- singing sea shanties & suddenly has the personality of a ye olden sailor

- someone convinced him to wax his legs

- confused as shit when he wakes up in the morning

- listening to hondo infodump about sailor moon, intrigued

- will laugh at anything, laughed at Macho mans left eyebrow for a solid 40 minutes

- passed out for a hour after that

- brought a random frog from the nearest pond & named it Buddy, buddy was never seen again after someone threw him out of a window

- ate candle wax, he just did, he somehow stomached it

- sober yet wasted, tapdancing on that line between mentally not present & aware

Aran Ryan

- drunk but has a camera, recording whatever happens

- "guys... this little pocket sized eejit is stuck on the roof... what the fuck.. get him off of there"

- will do anything you dare him to do, got dared to throw someones TV out of the window, the rest is history

- eated a bees

- chased piston hondo with a chair, you havent known true fear until a irishman with a camera & chair is chasing you while yelling like a psychopath while youre talking about star wars lore

- called glass joe "Glasses Jonathan"

- mourned the loss of buddy with bear hugger

- on his hater routine, texting back discos positive messages with mean messages

Soda Popinski

- sober, enjoying the show

- in the dance circle, busting it down

- dehydrated because theres no soda :(

- trying to convince aran ryan to eat a pair of headphones

- gives out water to anyone who appears drunk & asks for a drink telling them its "strong stuff" Just to see them smile & hydrate themselves

- enjoying the karaoke

- also mourning the loss of buddy, thought he was really cool

Bald Bull

- scared of the dance circle

- drunk but his social anxiety is still acting up

- mom i threw up pose when he zones out & stares into the void

- standing in the corner or clinging onto don flamenco because he cant manage crowds well

- getting second hand embarrasment from don flamencos singing

- people keep using the top of his head as a mirror

- clinging onto the nearest extroverts he knows well

- "what if everyone thinks i look like a complete idiot standing in the corner"

- Just really anxious & stressed, he doesnt manage social events well

- needs some silence

Super Macho Man

- thinks hes a good dancer, looks like hes having a stroke, dancing is not for him, especially drunk dancing

- people keep calling him grandpa

- sobbing over any minor event that effects him even slightly negatively

- sobbed over the loss of buddy

- crying over everything

- sobbing on the bathroom floor because he threw up so hard he felt like his soul left him

- hes literally just crying

- tried to do karaoke through his tears, couldnt sing the tears away

Mr Sandman

- pushed into the dance circle, accidentally made a conga line, who knew a conga line full of drunk men could be so fun?

- watching aran ryan eat weird shit & cheering him on because he thinks its funny

- bald bull tried to make a "man me a sand" joke to him, ended up looking like he was having a seizure

- "Mr sandman.. Sand.. The man?.. Sand man.. Uhhh, man him a sand-"

- "bull please lay down"

- enjoying bear huggers sea shanties

- trying to get glass joe off the roof

- fell asleep using a freezer as a pillow

Extra

- narcis showed up to tell everyone that theyre losers & left

- doc louis left early with mac as soon as the alcohol drinking started

#headcanon #punch out #bald bull #punch out wii #don flamenco #piston hondo #glass joe #aran ryan #punch out headcanons #narcis prince #punch out!!#doc louis #little mac #alcohol mention #emetophobia tw

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beanghostprincess · 2 months

Text

I talk quite a lot about Sanji going on a journey during the story and having to discover himself first to accept his feelings for Usopp, but I don't talk enough about the importance of Usopp becoming a brave warrior of the sea first and foremost before seeing himself capable of confessing his feelings to Sanji. He has already accepted he is in love with him. He just needs... To be braver. Stronger. For him to actually do something about it.

So I imagine this happening by the end of Elbaf. Do not ask me what happens during this arc in this concept, because I do not know. What I do know, though, is that Usopp becomes stronger. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. He learns to see his qualities and begins to stop running away from every danger. Perhaps it happens right after a catastrophe, the whole crew getting hurt and him being the only one capable of saving them. Maybe he acquires Conqueror's Haki, but that's just self-indulgence because I really, really like the whole concept of Usopp saving everybody with it. It is not the point-

Everyone is safe now. He has his big brave warrior moment. Maybe he even breaks the Sogeking mask at some point when he was trying to hide himself. It's a whole deal. And he is supposed to feel like he has accomplished his dream or, at least, that he is close enough to do so. But Usopp realizes that this is only the beginning of a journey and his dream is something he can only achieve by accepting the title for himself (I love this bit of his character so much you don't even know). And there is one thing left.

The whole crew is still recovering from whatever the hell happened, but at least now they can freely enjoy their time in Elbaf. So it is that type of moment at the end of an arc where everybody is chill and you know nothing can go wrong because the music is cute and everybody is eating and drinking like they've been starving for ages.

Sanji is probably learning about their cooking methods, and I really wanna see him fascinated by the giants' cuisine. Imagine the biggest of pots and this little guy literally skywalking to cook because he can't reach the thing on his own. Adorable. I adore him. Everybody is having the time of their lives.

And you know... Usopp knows Sanji knows. Sanji knows Usopp knows. It's that kind of "I love you and I know you love me and we love each other but we need some time first" relationship and they haven't had any time to talk about it. This has been going on for, like, forever. Since Skypiea type of forever. So Usopp is dying. He wants to reach out to him. He wants to go ahead and kiss him without hesitation and finally become the man he wants to be next to Sanji. He is shaking with fear.

The thing is, he is afraid. He is still scared. And Usopp doesn't think he will ever stop being scared when it comes to stuff like that. When it comes to love. But as long as he keeps pushing forward and being brave, then, it will be alright with him.

So he approaches the huge kitchen they have going on outside in the party (because of course they're having a party) and he sees Sanji skywalking to cook. Again, it looks silly, but Usopp is extremely fond of seeing Sanji cooking with the people he admires so much and learning stuff about the culture Usopp loves. He knows Sanji is not doing it for him, but it makes his heart do a funny twist anyway.

And I imagine that this could be funny-- Sanji looking down at Usopp from up there while he cooks and kind of losing balance (because who wouldn't lose their balance when looking at Usopp? He is definitely wearing Elbaf's attires too, and he looks... Good. Saying good is an understatement. Extremely fucking hot slounds better) and falling right into Usopp's arms.

Usopp catches him, of course. He always does. And Sanji is having this moment™ where he is feeling dizzy and out of balance and safe in Usopp's arms. I am going for a superhero type of comic looking pose here, btw. And Usopp is still scared. And anxious. And Sanji is looking extremely handsome in his clothes too. And Usopp just really, really, wants to kiss him.

For him to do so, Sanji only needs to bring his hands to Usopp's neck and joke, saying "Oh!! My hero!!" or something like that. He isn't expecting Usopp to do anything, really. They have been flirting that way for ages and he was just messing with him, bringing his face closer and calling him hero and brave warrior and my savior. But it makes Usopp's head spin with confidence, and he kisses Sanji.

Imagine fireworks behind them and dramatic music because that is exactly how Sanji sees all of this. Usopp just feels sweaty and nervous and extremely happy. Except that now Usopp has the confidence to, when he moves away from Sanji's lips (still close enough to kiss him again and again and again), say: "Sorry it took so long."

"Was it the outfit?" Sanji pinches one of Usopp's cheeks, raising an eyebrow at him. He can't help but smirk. "Do I look handsome enough for our brave warrior of the sea to want to kiss me finally?"

Usopp frowns at him, but Sanji's smile is contagious. "You always look good, idiot."

The cook hums teasingly. "Mm. It did take you long to kiss me, though."

"I was figuring some stuff out."

"Still scared?"

Usopp takes a deep breath. "Always. But now I feel..." He wants to drown in Sanji's blue eyes and grin. He feels safe. "Braver."

It makes Sanji laugh. Beautiful. "News flash, you have always been brave and you are the last one to notice."

Usopp chuckles. "I guess so."

"Well..." Sanji sighs dramatically, getting ready to light up one of his cigarettes. "Was this just a one time victory kiss thing or is the brave warrior of the sea going to kiss me again?"

Usopp doesn't need to think twice for this. He doesn't think he ever will.

#i've been thinking about elbaf lately and i decided to make it sanuso bc i can #i just love the whole thing about them achieving their dreams and finally confessing their love #like it's so important for their characters to grow first #and idk it just makes sense to me that usopp wants to believe in himself as a brave warrior before he can actually let himself fall in love #also they're so superhero/comic coded i am losing it #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso

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deadbydangit · 3 months

Note

Can you do one of The Doctor, The Clown and The Knight comforting you through an anxiety attack? Been struggling with PTSD a lot lately

I'm so sorry to hear that. I've been going through some lately as well. I hope this helps. Please enjoy.

Comforting a Reader who is having a panic attack: Clown, Doctor, Knight

Clown

At first he'll be a little annoyed.

"What are you belly aching about?"

"What? You aren't dying.*

He doesn't really understand the concept of a panic attack.

The whole concept of mental health is something that's foreign to him.

The way he grew up it was something that was never discussed.

Even though it was something that really should have been.

So you'll have to explain what is happening and why.

He'll still be a little confused, but he'll listen.

He isn't too great at calming people down.

He's the one who spreads the fear, not lessens it.

But, Kenneth is a clown!

Sort of.

Well, not a good one, but he tries.

And laughter is the best medicine, right?

So, he'll pull out his bag of tricks to make you laugh.

He isn't funny.

His balloon animals suck.

And all of his magic tricks involved severed fingers.

Not exactly great things for calming down a panic attack.

You'll have to teach him the things that work for you.

Because despite his rough exterior, he really hates seeing you like that.

And, not being able to do anything for you, it hurts him even more.

So, give the guy a break. He's really trying his best.

And it's only something he would do for you.

Doctor

Herman is very observant.

He knows instantly when you're acting differently.

He may be a quack, but he's a brilliant man.

Not only does he know a lot about the human body, he knows a lot about the human mind.

So, yes, he knows exactly what's going on.

He'll rattle off the exact scientific and psychological reason for a panic attack.

While you're in the middle of one.

That isn't helping.

But he's not too great at caring for others.

Sure, he might know some techniques to help with a panic attack.

But he's never helped someone through their panic attacks before.

He's another one you'll have to sit down and explain how to help.

However, as stated before, Herman is a smart man.

He learns things quickly.

Everything you tell him he'll take down detailed notes.

He wants to know what makes you tick. What makes you anxious.

All of this so he knows what to avoid in the future. And what to do if this should arise again.

He'll set up an entire room full of comfort objects for you while you're having a panic attack.

And he'll be there the entire time.

If you want him gone, he'll respect that.

But he does have hidden cameras in that room to monitor you.

It's for your safety. Nothing weird about it.

He's usually in the business of harming others.

Only for you will he be caring.

Knight

Out of all three, Tarhos ia arguably the worst.

That isn't to say that he doesn't love you.

He truly does.

He too has dealt with immense trauma.

However, he's dealt with it differently.

So he doesn't understand why you're panicking over something.

At first, he might even tell you to knock it off.

"Why are you acting like a pathetic child?"

It's going to take several other people to knock some sense into him.

He doesn't really understand that not everyone deals with things like he does.

With swords and violence.

Some people prefer to talk about their feelings.

Tarhos is not one of them.

However, only for you, he'd be willing to learn.

He's also really bad about comforting others.

If you're feeling really bad, he might pat your head.

Maybe even give you a small hug.

But that's probably all you're going to get for now.

He is, however, very good at listening.

Occasionally, he'll give decent advice.

It really depends on the subject.

"So there is a person causing your anguish? I see. I will help you get rid of the nuisance. They will no longer cause you issues."

Most of the time, the solutions to his problems include violence.

It's going to take him some time to warm up to the whole affection and comforting thing.

But, he wouldn't do it for anyone else. Only you, because you mean that much to him.

#dbd imagines #dbd ask blog #dbd x reader #dbd killer #dbd doctor #dbd knight #dbd clown

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tarsusingkirk · 8 months

Text

original post lol

@repoughts

ok u asked 😌✨

this is like. the opposite of an essay but

you'd think li lianhua would have the shorter fuse in withstanding fang duobing but it's actually di feisheng. long after di feisheng has begrudgingly begun yelling fang xiaobao, letting him cling around the shoulders, and touching everything he can reach, lianhua is still forcing an amicable distance between them.

perhaps at first had something to do with him being a dying man but now, as his life is his own again, he doesn't really have an excuse. maybe it just scares some buried part of him that he hasn't thought about in ten years.

fang xiaobao is tenacious though. as many times as lianhua tricks him or rebuffs him, he keeps trying like an incessant vine looking for a home in weathered stone. he keeps caring for him, about him. he warms medicine in the early mornings when lianhua feels an echo of his poison that leaves him weak for days. he's always ready with a thick cloak when lianhua would rather stubbornly weather the cold. he's always there when lianhua needs him.

it's not just this fervent caring that unsteadies lianhua, no. it's that despite his own restraint in their friendship, fang xiaobao has made a home for himself in li lianhua's house, li lianhua's lotus tower. he has made a home of a house that lianhua has slowly died in for ten years. Odds and ends, trinkets from his many travels, his clothes make it into the lotus tower. his clothes next to lianhua's, his hair pieces next to lianhua's. he makes a house a home simply by being there and in turn makes something small, something mighty tremble in li lianhua. it's these thoughts running like a riptide that make it easy for lianhua to run; make it easy to become comfortable with the nickname sly old fox.

but despite the constant pushing away by li lianhua, fang xiaobao never truly rebuffs him. when lianhua calls out mistakes in his practicing of xiangyi swordplay or suggests better footwork, he takes it to heart, immediately incorporating them. and during cases, because fang xiaobao is still a detective of baichuan academy, he always listens to lianhua, always follows his guidance first.

it's this complete trust in him that starts seeping under lianhua's skin, even after the countless times he's tricked the kid-- or tried to. he's getting better at sniffing out bullshit.

late in the night after one such moment of trickery, (li lianhua had triggered one of fang xiaobao's acupoints because he'd needed to meet with a very anxious consultant to solve the case they were on but for that to happen xiaobao couldn't know. lianhua sighs to himself about overly complicated cases and the headaches caused by self important people. by tomorrow the case would be solved and they'd get their dues.) he finally makes it back to the lotus tower and walks in to blink down at di feisheng being used as full-body pillow by fang xiaobao.

he moves to the table in front of the bed, shaking out his sleeves as he settles down, fully aware that di feisheng is watching him.

'director di, when did you return?' he asks, as he pours himself a cup of lukewarm tea.

he's just raised it to his mouth when feisheng speaks, 'he won't wait forever, li xiangyi.'

the words make lianhua pause, lip of the cup at his mouth. feisheng doesn't appear to be waiting for a response as he shifts up onto his elbow, hair pooling over his shoulders. the movement makes lianhua realize xiaobao's head is resting over feisheng's arm, using it as a hard pillow. he watches as feisheng brings his free hand up to xiaobao's face, a movement so gentle that when his hand curls slightly over xiaobao's turned cheek it becomes something intimate that makes lianhua look away for a moment. he sips at his tea as he sees feisheng's hand trail down to xiaobao's chest out of the corner of his eye.

'aiyo, i never ask--'

'don't play the fool. you're no fool.' feisheng cuts him off, finally looking up from xiaobao, his hand still resting possessively over his chest. 'you faced death on the east sea ten years and came out the victor, what exactly are you afraid of.'

lianhua puts down his cup, ignoring the urge to slam it down. feisheng and his obsession with who won that fight will be the real death of him someday. he slides his fingers over the lip of the cup trying to maintain his very thin composure.

'ah-fei,' he pauses as he looks up, eyes flickering over the slow rise and fall of xiaobao's chest. 'this... this is different than a swordfight.'

feisheng snorts at him, his hand still meandering over xiaobao as he looks over at lianhua. 'no, it's not. you want to do something, you do it.'

lianhua stares for a moment, contemplating the possibility that they are having two very different conversations, and wondering if that's really how di feisheng felt all those years ago.

'di fei--'

'you want something, you take it.' feisheng's hand brushes xiaobao's hair from his face, an impossibly gentle action from a hand that has killed and maimed. it's matched by the look on his face, a look that makes lianhua want to look away again.

lianhua sighs, shoulders slumping before he stands and walks to the bed with a shake of his sleeves.

#mysterious lotus casebook #difanghua #ignore the dumb plot device case i needed dumb plot device ok 😭#[insert the feiduo feisheng meltdown Before this lmao]#myshit

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emeritus-fuckers · 11 months

Note

Hi ❤️ I know requests are closed so feel free to delete this, but I am really struggling and I could use some comfort if possible. Could I get the papas comforting a reader with extreme health anxiety? Like a reader who is always afraid that they are really sick (whether they actually are or not). Tysm, your blog brings me so much joy ❤️

Hey, no worries. I said it myself, even if requests are closed, comfort asks are always fine. - Jez

Papas with a darling who has extreme health anxiety

Primo

He listens to your worries and tries to soothe your nerves.

He has some experience with somewhat similar issues (Terzo was a hypochondriac when he was younger), so he has a general clue on how to help you.

"Darling, take a deep breath. Let's take some breaths and calm down together, alright?"

He stis with you as long as you need him to before he finally talks about your symptoms.

He has you answer a lot of very detailed questions, but does so in a way that feels comforting.

He gently guides you towards more plausible reasons you might feel unwell.

Also, he's fond of using hers as medication (do not confuse it with being anti-vaxx, he absolutely believes in medicine, but if he can help with simpler methods, he will), so he'll offer that.

Offers you cupping therapy (is that how it's called in english???) and regular days off to rest just so you can feel healthier.

Secondo

This man reads a lot and does shit tons of research.

And he's an extremely fast learner, so in a few weeks he's already grasped the basic concepts and most important potential symptoms of what people learn in medical school.

He's far from being an expert and he's still learning, but he learns the very basics just to reassure you that it's fine.

He wants to make sure you're fine, seeing as he takes any potential issues very seriously.

If you think he's sick, he's going to believe you and take care of you.

Gets you a personal doctor and a nurse to make sure you're okay.

"It's alright, a more. Il dottore said you're fine. Do you need to rest? Let Papa take care of you, sí?"

He does his best to slowly and subtly change your life style to be at least a bit healthier, hoping it would help.

Watches you nap with a small smile as he does his paperwork.

Makes you nice, healthy foods. Takes you on walks. He just does a lot to make you feel healthier.

Terzo

Oh, he gets it. He was like that in his youth, although it's way worse with you.

Gentle distractions. He notices you getting anxious and tries his best to help you.

He tries to make sure you don't have time to be anxious. Tries making you focus on something fun.

If it doesn't work, he'll research your symptoms with you to calm you down.

Will get you a doctor if you insist, but mostly tries to calm you himself.

He understands what you feel, even if just a little bit. And his heart is in the right place. But like with his own issues, he doesn't deal with it at the source, he just gets distractions. All the time.

But he does try. And he does his best. He's just..not the best at handling things like that.

But if you tell him how to help you, he follows those instructions religiously.

Copia

Well... He's terrible for it.

Not because he doesn't care. It's because the poor baby cares too much and he gets caught up in it even more than you do :<

You cough and he freaks out. Makes you lay in bed and gets a doctor.

He does his very best to take care of you, mother hen mode activated.

He's gonna spoil you, trying his best to make you feel better.

He doesn't realize he makes it worse. But he loves you so much! He wants you to be happy! And safe! And healthy!

But once he does realize, he apologizes profusely and spends days researching how to properly help you.

He feels really bad about making it worse earlier, please give him a hug, he really means well with everything he does for you.

Old Nihil

He has a doctor ready for whenever he got sick. He's old, every cough could be a sign he's dying (though he's in incredibly good shape for a man his age, with only his breathing being a problem), so if you get worried about your health, he gets his doctor immediately.

No matter if it was something completely silly, if you said you were feeling unwell, he's getting the damn doctor and that's it.

The doctor better take all your worries seriously because Nihil can and will fire him otherwise.

Your comfort is more important than his own health.

The doctor is fully expected to listen to whatever troubles you and explain everything to you.

What your symptoms are, what they mean.

And they better do so gently and patiently to ease you.

Even if he may get a bit annoyed with you constantly worrying about your health (mainly because he gets pestered about his health a lot and it's fucking annoying), but he always tries his best to support you.

It does come pretty easy, considering he's a simp.

Young Nihil

Straight up tells you you're being dramatic at first. That's just what he assumes, not realizing how serious it was.

He never really cared much for his own health and he was fine, so he just tries to get you to chill out.

Once he does eventually realize what it doesn't work and that your issues are actually very serious, he just kinda sighs and makes you explain your problems to him.

He still doesn't get it, so he does a similar thing to Terzo and tries to distract you.

He can't deal with his own issues, love. He sucks at dealing with yours unless he's told specifically what to do.

Tell him when you need to be held and he'll hold you.

Tell him how to help you and he'll help you.

Tell him what to do and he'll do it.

What a fucking bottom.

Taglist: @sirlsplayland @firefirevampire @thatoddboy @ouijaboardemo (send an ask if you'd like to be added! Read the pinned post before asking!)

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amor1st03 · 1 year

Text

History | Yang Jeongin

Yang Jeongin x fem!reader

Childhood best friends to lovers

warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of cheating, mentions sex like once, let me know if I missed anything

word count: 12.1k

in which: your childhood best friend is getting married but past feelings can’t help but make a reappearance

a/n: I wrote this cos I really miss Vegas :(

a drabble sequel to this fic called Future can be found here

Skz masterlist

You had never seen so much colour and light before. As your taxi neared your hotel you looked out at the nightlife of Las Vegas. You were exhausted from your flight and honestly thought you would fall asleep in the taxi but now you were too busy staring in wonder to worry about sleep. The streets were packed with people heading out to drink and party, flashing lights from hotels and casinos coloured their skin in rainbow.

It was incredible but it didn't at all suit the man you were here for.

Your childhood friend, Yang Jeongin was getting married. You were happy for him when you received the invitation but a small part wondered you what if. What if things had turned out differently? What if all those years ago you had confessed to him about the way you felt? What if you hadn't grown apart? Would you be here right now, ready to celebrate him marrying someone else?

The sheer amount of questions had hurt your head so you buried them deep in your heart. Whatever feelings you had for him were long gone. It was a long time ago. He had been your first love and you had missed your chance but the least you could do was be here for him to celebrate. He was your first love but not your last. You just had to learn to forget the feeling of butterflies.

It had been three years since you last saw him. You had moved from Seoul when you found yourself a better job opportunity. You remembered the way he hugged you as you were about to set off. You remember all the things that were left unsaid. You eventually lost contact with him. Hearing his voice over the phone became painful, you were almost grateful that the calls became less and less frequent until one day they stopped altogether.

Still, you weren't surprised when you received the invitation. The two of you had a long history of growing up together. Going to each other's weddings was one thing you knew you would never miss out on, no matter how long it had been since you had last talked.

Everything had cost a fortune to be here, the flight, the hotel, the outfit for the wedding. But for him, it was worth it. Once the taxi pulled up you stared in awe at the fancy hotel you were staying in. You checked in and made your way to your room. There, you changed out of your traveling clothes and got dressed in something a bit fancier. The plan was for everyone to get settled into their rooms and then meet at the hotel's bar at 7 pm, as you were all staying in the same hotel.

As you made your way to the bar, you were feeling anxious and excited. You looked forward to seeing old friends of yours and Jeongin's as well as his parents. You loved his parents as much as your own family. You were one of the last to arrive and were greeted by his parents.

"My, my if it isn't Y/N," His father said fondly.

"Y/N, it's so lovely to see you, you look as beautiful as ever," His mother said, embracing you in a hug, she pulled away to look at you. "We miss you in Seoul, and we wish you'd come back already!"

"Well, actually, I-"

"Come on, I know that Jeongin is dying to see you." She tugged you through the crowds of people. "Jeongin, look who's here." The man turned upon hearing his mother's voice. When he caught sight of you his breathing hitched in his throat.

"Y/N, I- wow, you look..." He wasn't sure what the right words to say were.

"Hi..." You said, rather meekly. He looked just as you remembered him. As handsome as ever. You felt a little sadness creep into your heart as you remembered why you were here. His mother gave you a small shove before you both hugged each other. Honestly, you didn't wanna let go. You had just missed him so much.

"I missed you," He whispered into your hair.

"I missed you too." Somebody cleared their throat beside the two of you and you both quickly pulled away. You turned to see a beautiful woman standing next to you.

"Right, um, Y/N this is my fiancée, Lucy. Lucy, Y/N, My childhood best friend."

"It's so great to meet you, I'm so happy to be here." You held out your hand for her to shake.

"Likewise." But her tone was all but pleasant as she shook your hand. "Jeongin, come on, some people want to talk to you." He looked at his fiancée before turning back to you.

"I-"

"No, it's alright, you go on. I'm going to get a drink. You go greet everyone else."

You walked over to the bar asking the bartender for the strongest thing he's got. He placed a shot on the counter and you quickly drank.

"Woah, okay, you're starting off early," A voice behind you said. You turned to see one of your old friends, Changbin.

"Changbin," You said softly with a fond smile.

"Hi, Y/N." The two of you hugged. He was just a little bit older than you but he had been your first friend as you had lived next door to each other. He was one of the few people you had managed to stay in contact with when you left.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm good."

"No, not like that, I meant with the whole wedding thing." Changbin had been one of the few people you had confided in about your feelings for Jeongin in the past.

"I'm fine. I've moved on, it was a long time ago." And you were fine. Sure, it was a little awkward being here at your first love's wedding but you had moved on. You believed you had at least. No, in fact, you were certain of it.

Sure, a small part of your heart would always belong to him but isn't that always the case when it came to first love? Just because it was first did not mean it would be your only love.

"Sure." He wasn't convinced.

"I'm serious, Binnie."

"I just wished you had told him back then, things might've been different."

"No, they wouldn't have. I still would've moved away."

"He probably would've gone with you if you gave him a reason to."

"I couldn't have done that to him. Besides, that would've been only if he had felt the same but we knew each other for years and he never let on once that it was anything more than platonic."

"Neither did you. You were pretty good at keeping your feelings from him."

"Well, it doesn't matter, he's here, about to get married. He's happy."

"Yeah, I guess." A comfortable and familiar silence fell between you two for a few moments as you watched the rest of the guests converse. Jeongin caught your eye as he was dragged by Lucy from person to person. "Wanna get so drunk we can't walk straight?" Changbin asked after he heaved a long and heavy sigh.

"Absolutely."

The two of you sat at the bar for most of the night, talking. Occasionally, an old friend would come over to greet you and catch up. It was nice to see the people you had lost contact with. By the time party members started to leave you were in a giggling fit alongside Changbin and Jisung who had come over to talk.

"Changbin, how much did you give the girl to drink?" Jisung asked clearly noticing your intoxicated state.

"Hey, don't look at me, she did it to herself!" He slurred his words as he was equally as drunk.

"Well, look, I'm gonna head up to my room now but please get back to your rooms safely."

"Don't worry, you can count on me to haul him back to his room."

"Right," Jisung replied sounding uncertain. "Okay, well, have fun and enjoy the killer hangover you're both gonna have tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Night, Jisung."

There were only a few people now when you and Changbin decided to leave. The two of you made your way over to Jeongin to say goodbye out of courtesy. He was sitting alone now, Lucy somewhere else speaking to some of the people left.

"Hey, Jeongin, we're gonna head out now, so we'll see you tomorrow." He stood up as you spoke.

"Jesus, is she drunk?" Jeongin asked Changbin.

"Pffft, no," He replied to which you burst out laughing, Changbin soon following in pursuit.

"Oh, great, so are you. I don't trust the two of you to make it back to your rooms, come on."

He guided you both to the elevator. Once inside, Changbin slumped against the wall of the lift, shutting his eyes.

"Hey, don't be falling asleep over there, we'll leave you in here."

"I'm not sleeping, just resting my eyes, shut up."

"Don't tell me to shut up."

"You two bicker like siblings."

"Oh we do, do we? You hear that big bro?"

"I do, little sis." The two of you were in a fit of giggles when you reached Changbin's floor. Once Jeongin and you had seen him inside his room you made your way back to the elevator and up to your floor.

"You okay?" He asked as you walked along the carpeted hallway.

"Totally." But your body was telling a different story as you stumbled over your own feet. Jeongin was quick to grab onto your waist, steadying you. His arm stayed wrapped around your waist as you slung an arm over his shoulder. Once in front of your door, he asked for your key card which you gave to him. You watched as he unlocked the door. He helped you inside, sitting you down on the bed. He crouched down and unfastened your shoes, taking them off for you. You crawled into bed not even bothering to get changed. He was about to leave when you spoke up.

"Hey, Jeongin, I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, Y/N."

"And I'm sorry I left." He didn't say anything to this. He walked over to the light switch, turning it off.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, Innie." He left you alone, in the dark.

That night you cried for the small piece of your heart that still belonged to him.

***

Jisung had been right about the killer hangover. Your head was pounding and the bright sunshine only made it worse as you made your way to the pool. Most of the other wedding guests were already by the poolside, some in the pool, some were not there and you assumed they were probably still in bed, trying to sleep the hangover off. You took the deckchair beside Changbin, who had his head in his hands. He glanced over at you with a weak smile.

"Why do we choose to do this to ourselves?"

"I have no idea. I'm gonna go in the pool, I'm hoping the cool water might do something about this headache, wanna join me?"

"Sure."

You stood up to take off your dress, revealing your bathing suit. Jeongin was sitting a couple of deckchairs down. He tried not to look at you, at the way, the bathing suit fit your body so well. He imagined wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him. There was a familiar feeling of desire and yearning burning in the pit of his stomach. One he hadn't felt in a long time. He pushed them away, telling himself that they weren't real feelings, just memories of past emotions. Emotions that had faded because he had lost contact with you. Emotions that had faded because he hadn't seen you in person in 3 years. Emotions that had faded because he was about to marry someone else.

You hadn't noticed his gaze as you stepped into the water. You walked down the steps, focusing on the coolness. It contrasted the heat of the sun perfectly. Changbin, beside you, sighed as he submerged himself in the water all the way up to his neck.

"You were right, this is really nice."

"Haven't you learned after all these years of knowing me that I'm always right?"

"Very self-assured too." You splashed the water on him, wetting his hair.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just do that." You splashed him again. "Hey! You know what, you asked for this." Changbin splashed the water straight in your face as you gasped. The two of you continued to splash each other, laughing and enjoying each other's company. You really had missed him.

Jeongin continued to watch the two of you in the pool as you messed around. He wanted to join the two of you. Watching the way the two of you laughed together brought back memories of times before you left when the three of you would hang out together. He remembered the fun you had together. He remembered the many reasons why he had fallen for you. But it was all in the past, of course, he knew that. But still, the memories would always bring a sense of fondness and care.

"Hey, do you wanna go in the pool for a bit?" He asked, turning to Lucy.

"No, let's stay here and just sunbathe for a bit. I wanna try and get a bit of a tan before the wedding, I think you should too. But, please, make sure you put on plenty of sun cream. I swear to god, if you end up getting sunburned before the wedding I'll be so mad."

"Oh, okay." Lucy was so different from you. Maybe that's why he had asked her to marry him. He needed to be with someone that was different from you. Maybe he was trying to prove a point to himself. Trying to prove that after you left he didn't look for something in every girl he dated that reminded him of you. Trying to prove that he had moved on because, after all, you were only ever just a friend. Nothing more had ever happened between the two of you and nothing ever would.

He loved Lucy though, right? He wouldn't want to marry her if he didn't, right? He was just getting cold feet as the day drew closer and closer, he had tried to assure himself.

All he really knew was that once upon a time, he had feelings for you. He was certain they had faded. Certain that he just saw you as a friend now. He told himself that after not seeing you for so long of course he would remember the way it felt to be around you. Not because he was still in love with you but because it was the last thing you had left him with. But it was all just a memory now. It was in the past.

He glanced over at Lucy before turning to look at you again. He found himself suddenly cursing himself for inviting you.

***

Most of the day was spent by the pool. Not that you were complaining, it was nice to lounge in the pool or on a deck chair, catching up with Changbin. You were now also sitting with Seungmin now, another one of your old friends who you hadn't had the chance to catch up with last night.

When you had first become friends with Seungmin, there had been a weird tension between the two of you simply due to the fact that you had had the fattest crush on him but chose to admire him from afar. But, hey, you were 16 and he was a sweet and good-looking guy. But, as your friendship grew stronger, your feelings faded. When you were older, you actually admitted to him that you used to have a crush on him. It resulted in endless teasing. Changbin had gladly joined in, he had been doing it for years, in private, as he was one of the few people you had confided in.

When you were 16, you had also told Jeongin about your massive crush on Seungmin but, unlike Changbin, he didn't tease. He was far more protective, asking to know all about the guy. You, of course, introduced them.

At first, there was a strange tension between the two of them as well. You had never known why but, despite Seungmin's attempts to become friends, Jeongin didn't seem to give him the time of day. You remembered the way you had scolded him for that. Eventually, Jeongin gave Seungmin a chance and now, many years later, Seungmin was one of Jeongin's closest friends.

You had never known what the turning point was, Jeongin simply gave you a vague answer, saying Seungmin and himself had talked through some things. You had shrugged it off and decided to just be happy that they were getting along.

The crush on Seungmin didn't last once you became friends because you found that you preferred just being friends with him. Plus, it was also around this time that things started to change with Jeongin. People started to confuse the two of you as a couple and you didn't hate it. You remembered this one time the two of you had gone to a store together after school. You did this almost every day on your way home.

"I'll get these for us, I know they're your favourite." Jeongin gave you a soft smile, pleased that you knew his favourite foods.

"In that case, I'll go get you you're favourite drink. I'll be back in a minute." You nodded and watched as he left.

You remembered the little old lady that had approached you once Jeongin had left.

"Hold onto that one dear," She had said. "From the way your boyfriend looks at you, I can tell he cares about you deeply. Hold onto him." You hadn't even bothered to correct her. But the small conversation with her had left your heart racing and your mind full of questions. Questions you never asked Jeongin.

You wondered what the little old lady would say if she could see the two of you now.

***

That evening, you and the rest of the wedding party left the hotel for the first time since arriving. It was to go to casinos and bars and involved even more drinking, but hey, it was Las Vegas, isn't that what people do there? Las Vegas was a party city for a reason.

You had decided not to get drunk tonight, not really wanting to relive the hangover you had that morning. You actually quite enjoyed watching the drunken antics of the rest of the party. But still, as you watched everyone, you couldn't help but notice how out of place Jeongin seemed here. The Jeongin you knew was not much of a party boy and you would have thought he would have preferred to get married somewhere a bit more romantic like Paris or Venice. But still, the Jeongin you had in your mind was the one you knew 3 years ago. Maybe he had changed. Maybe, now, this was his type of place and you were just seeing it all wrong.

Lucy was in her zone with this place. You barely knew her but from the way she danced with her friends to the music you could tell she was having the time of her life.

You had attempted to talk to her a few times but she came off as rather patronising. You assumed it was down to the fact that you were the only person in the group she hadn't met before coming here. She simply knew you as some friend from Jeongin's past. You'd hoped she'd warm up to you soon.

As the party moved from one bar to another you lingered at the back of the group. Jeongin came to stand next to you, his feet naturally syncing up with the steps of your own.

"We haven't had much of a chance to talk since we got here."

"It's alright, I get it. We're all here for you and Lucy so, naturally, you've both got a lot of people who want to talk to you."

We haven't had much of a chance to talk in the past 3 years, you wanted to tell him but you were afraid that it would come off as mean. It wasn't his fault you lost contact.

"Yeah." You thought the silence that settled then would be awkward but it wasn't. Things seemed to fall right back into place as if you had never left his side at all.

"I thought things would be awkward between us two, and I'll admit, I felt a bit shy the other day after not seeing you for so long but this feels nice."

"Yeah, it is nice."

"I'm glad you invited me. It's great to see everyone else as well, Changbin, Jisung, Seungmin."

"Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you always have a little thing for Seungmin?"

"Used to."

"Well, you never know, this might be your chance to rekindle old feelings."

"Yeah, no. Not gonna happen. I can't even imagine dating him now. Those feelings are well in the past. I stopped liking him not that long after we became friends actually."

"You did? How come you never told me?"

"I don't know. I guess it was obvious I was over him." And into you instead.

"Well, it wasn't."

"My Jeongin, ever oblivious." His heart pounded at your words. He ignored it.

"Like you are any better. I could name a hundred guys who had a thing for you that you never picked up on."

"Go on then, name one."

Me. He thought to himself.

"Well, that one guy, what's his name? Who you did that science project with?"

"Jesus, Jeongin, try to be a bit more specific."

"Max or Mark or something. Ah, shit, I can't remember his name but the point is I used to see you guys studying together except you were the only one studying. He was too busy drooling over you and making googly eyes."

"Let me go back and change my previous statement. Ever oblivious and delusional." He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I know what I saw." The two of you laughed lightly and continued to walk down the bustling streets, following everyone else.

"Lucy seems to fit in well here." You looked at the girl who was leading the group, talking animatedly to one of her friends. She led you all into another bar.

"She loves the excitement of it all."

"She seems...fun." It sounded more like a question than a statement. "I don't know, I haven't had much of a chance to talk to her yet," You said, taking a seat at a table, Jeongin sat beside you.

"She is fun. And I hope you do talk to her. I want the two of you to get along."

"I want that too." She was marrying your childhood best friend, for christ's sake, of course, you wanted to get along with her.

"Well, while we're here you'll have plenty of time to get to know her."

"Jeongin! Y/N! There you two are, I've been looking for the two of you!" A rather drunk Jisung approached the two of you, taking a seat across from you.

"Don't worry, Jisung, we didn't stray too far."

"You two should come dance with me."

"I'm alright, Jisung, why don't you join Felix and Hyunjin?" Jeongin suggested.

"But I wanted to dance with you two," He whined.

"How much have you had to drink tonight Ji? Weren't you just telling me and Changbin off the other night?" You teased.

"I wasn't telling you off, I was merely asking a question. And you did drink a lot last night. It doesn't matter, you guys will make sure I make it back to the hotel."

"You put a lot of faith in us."

"Yeah, we could just leave you here," Jeongin joked.

"You would never, you guys love me too much. Now, will at least one of you come dance with me?"

"Okay, alright. I'll come and dance with you. I'll see you later, Jeongin." You stood up as a big grin spread across Jisung's face. He happily jumped up from his seat.

"Hey, before you go Y/N, I was wondering, tomorrow morning, do you wanna get breakfast? Just the two of us just to catch up for a bit?"

"I'd love to." You smiled before Jisung pulled you away from him.

***

When you woke up the next day you were glad that you hadn't had a drink the night before. You got dressed as you thought of your conversation with Jeongin. You had been a little nervous that things between the two of you would be different and that he would have changed. But you were glad to find he hadn't. He was still the same old Jeongin.

You slipped on your shoes once you had finished getting ready when you heard a knock at the door. You hurried over and opened it to see Jeongin.

"Good morning," You said.

"Morning. You ready to go?"

"Yep."

"Where do you wanna go for breakfast?" He asked as the two of you shut the door and began walking towards the elevator.

"I thought we could head to the food court in the hotel. Isn't that insane? A whole food court in a hotel. This place is insane."

"I know right, I heard about this one hotel that has a whole ass aquarium."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously." Jeongin looked over at you when an idea came to his head. He smirked before speaking again. "Race you to the elevator? Loser has to pay. Ready, set, go." He took off running.

"Hey!" You quickly ran after him. "No fair, I wasn't ready!"

He stopped in front of the elevator, turning to smile at you before pushing the button. You caught up to him.

"You're so childish." He rolled his eyes playfully.

"You're so childish," He mimicked you. "It's called fun, grandma." He was teasing you, trying to get a rise out of you. He loved teasing you just to see how flustered you get. But instead, you smiled. "What?" He asked, feeling rather shy now, under your gaze.

"Nothing, it's just, you're still you." You didn't need to explain what you meant. He knew what you meant.

"And you're still you." He smiled as the elevator door opened. You were surprised to find Seungmin and Jisung already inside. Seungmin greeted the two of you while Jisung weakly raised his hand in a wave.

"Feeling rough, Ji?" You asked. He groaned.

"Everything's so bright and loud."

"Where are you two headed?" Jeongin asked them as the two of you stepped onto the elevator. You leaned against the railing next to where Seungmin was standing.

"Well, since the pool worked so well for Changbin and Y/N the other day I figured we'd head there and try to fix this one." He nudged his head in Jisung's direction. "What about you two?"

"We're gonna get some breakfast, catch up a bit."

"Hey, maybe we could jo-" Jisung began before Seungmin quickly interrupted him.

"Jisung, after you've recovered we should get some breakfast at the place I spotted the other day."

"What place?"

"You know the one I mentioned to you last night? I saw it as we were walking back to the hotel, I looked at the menu and it had some nice breakfast options."

"I can't remember you mentioning any place."

"How drunk were you last night?" Seungmin asked in disbelief. The elevator came to a halt and opened to reveal more people. The suitcases that they were hauling around and their rather miserable faces told you they were leaving. They crammed their way onto the elevator. You stood up straighter, backing into the corner. Seungmin got pushed in your direction but placed his hands on the wall on either side of you to stop himself from crashing into you.

"Sorry."

"Nah, it's all good," You said, with a soft smile. You were fine with the close proximity, it didn't bother you. Honestly, you were glad it wasn't Jeongin, it would probably have caused your heart to beat out of your chest and that was the last thing you needed right now.

Jeongin got pushed to the opposite corner. He watched as you smiled up at Seungmin, chest to chest. He felt a strange knot in the pit of his stomach.

He could have sworn the ride to the ground floor lasted an eternity, but finally, the doors opened and the group with the suitcases moved out. Seungmin quickly moved away from you, and the two of you picked up the conversation.

Jeongin felt a little irritated at how casual you were about being so close to Seungmin. If he was being honest, he probably would've been just as bothered if you acted all flustered instead. The whole situation was just irritating to him.

"We'll see you guys later. Bye, Jisung," You teased, rubbing his hair. He groaned in pain again before being dragged away by Seungmin.

"Bye, Y/N, Jeongin."

"Bye," Jeongin replied quickly. The two of you headed to the food court, before deciding what to eat. Once you had your food, you found a table and sat down opposite each other.

"Where's Lucy this morning?" You asked as you picked up your cutlery.

"Oh, she's still in bed." From the way that Jeongin was fidgeting, you could tell that something was bugging him.

"What's up?"

"Huh?"

"I can see there's something you wanna say so just go ahead." He had almost forgotten how easily you could read him.

"I just wanted to apologise for losing contact."

"No need to apologise, we were both just busy. I'm as much at fault as you. Anyway, come on, tell me all about you and Lucy." And he did.

He told you how they had met at a coffee shop when they accidentally ran into each other and he had spilled his drink all down her shirt. He told you how he had asked for her so that he could pay her back for it. He told you how this resulted in frequent texting between the two of them before he finally asked her out. He told you how he had proposed, while they were on holiday, in front of the Eiffel Tower. He admitted to you that he hated the watchful eyes of the crowds of tourists as he got down on one knee.

"That's really sweet tho, Innie." The nickname slipped from your mouth so naturally. He hadn't heard it in years and it made him blush a little. He hoped you wouldn't notice.

"Thanks. Anyway, enough about me and Lucy. What about you? How's the job and everything going? Any relationships?"

"The job was really good but actually I've just left. I'm starting a new job after we get back. And currently, I'm single. There was this one guy I met when I first moved and we were together for close to 2 years but it didn't work out."

"Why?" He let the words slip out before he thought to hold them back. "Ah, shit, sorry, I'm prying. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, it's alright. You're my best friend, of course, I'd tell you. He and I just didn't work, I couldn't love him."

"I'm sorry. But you'll find someone. Anyone would be lucky to have you." His soft smile and sincere eyes sparked something inside you. It was like a floodgate inside you had been opened inside you and all these emotions started spilling out. Your heart felt like a volcano about to erupt while your mind was spinning with a sudden epiphany.

You looked at him with a gentle smile, masking the apocalypse suddenly happening inside you.

Fuck, you thought, as you looked at the man you used to love. The man, you now just realised, you were still in love with.

***

You had experienced the realisation that you were in love with Yang Jeongin twice.

The first time was about 5 years ago.

You were out on a date with some guy whose name you honestly couldn't even remember anymore. You met him at the library while you were studying for one of your end-of-year uni exams. He asked for your number and asked if he could take you out sometime. You agreed. It had felt so refreshing and exciting to be asked out after having such bad luck relationship-wise.

You had moved on from Seungmin a while ago, now perfectly content being his friend. Your past relationships hadn't ended well. And you still had a bit of a crush on your best friend. And by a bit, you of course met absolutely massive. But Jeongin wasn't an option so you did your best to ignore your feelings.

You were really looking forward to the date. The guy was cute and seemed nice, he looked like someone you could see yourself dating. The date itself was really enjoyable. It was after when he asked you over to his place, you politely declined his offer as it was getting late. You told him that you thought you should head home but asked if you could see him again.

"Are you kidding me? I only asked you out to get you back to my place."

"What?"

"Are you dense? I don't wanna go out again. I only asked you out 'cause I wanted to fuck you." You stood, staring at him in shock. "Jesus, you really thought I asked you out because I liked you." He laughed a little. A surge of anger took over your body.

"You know what? Go fuck yourself, I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth." You turned angrily and walked away. You walked and walked and walked until the rain started pouring down. As the water hit you, you felt it wash away all your anger, leaving behind a sense of sadness. Not because you particularly liked the guy, hell, you barely knew him. No, it was more the fact that he only asked you out to sleep with you. It made you feel worthless.

Your feet carried you all the way to Jeongin's apartment. You knocked on his door, sniffling sadly. He opened the door. He smiled at first upon seeing you but his face quickly dropped.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" You took one look at him before you burst into tears. Jeongin was quick to react, pulling you into a hug. When you had calmed down, you pulled away to look up at him.

"Sorry, I got your shirt all wet."

"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get some dry clothes for you, come on." He guided you inside his apartment, sitting you down on his couch. He went to his bedroom, returning with a t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms of his own for you to wear. You took them from him, heading to his bathroom to get changed.

When you were finished you returned to find him sitting on his couch, after having changed his own shirt. You sat beside him, avoiding eye contact. He took one look at you wearing his clothes and he was suddenly glad you weren't looking at him. If you were, he was certain you would've seen the way he blushed. He cleared his throat.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" He nudged his leg against yours. You took a deep breath before explaining everything that had happened.

"I just felt so worthless, like he only saw me as an object, just something to be used and then thrown away..." He had listened closely to everything you said.

"Come here." He pulled you close and you snuggled up to him. "You aren't worthless and you aren't just something people can use and then throw away. You deserve so much more than that, Y/N. That guy has no idea how lucky he is that you even said yes in the first place."

"Thanks, Innie."

"Seriously, he's a douche, do you want me to beat him up?" He joked, reaching up to stroke your hair that was still damp from the rain.

"You couldn't beat anyone in a fight," You teased.

"I could. I could if it were for you." You glanced up at him before leaning back into him, nuzzling your head into his chest. And just like that, you knew. That was the first time you had realised you had been in love with him for a very long time.

The second time you realised you were in love with him was this moment right now. Sitting, eating breakfast together, in a hotel's food court, just a few days before his wedding to somebody else.

You idiot, you can't still be in love with him, he's getting married! You mentally scolded yourself.

***

Over the next few days, you and the wedding party drank a lot. When you weren't sightseeing, you were in a bar. You had never been a big drinker but you were here for a wedding so you figured you might as well. Plus, you needed all the liquid courage you could get to keep yourself from crying.

After your realisation that you were still in love with Jeongin, being here to celebrate his wedding became ten times more difficult. Luckily, you had Changbin, Seungmin, and Jisung to distract you.

You, of course, loved spending time with Jeongin but it was harder this time. The first time you had realised you loved him he wasn't engaged to somebody else. Although you wouldn't admit it, back then a little part of you had always thought there was the smallest possibility of something happening between the two of you. This time around it was different. His heart was set on Lucy.

The group was headed to the Venetian, the grand hotel modeled after the Italian city. You watched the gondolas on the canal as they moved smoothly through the water. Jeongin came to stand next to you.

"I wanted it to be Venice, you know?"

"What?"

"The wedding. Venice would've been my first choice."

"I knew it. Venice seems more your style. Not that Vegas isn't nice."

"Vegas was Lucy's idea. And it is beautiful here. Very lively. But Venice..." There was something quite woeful about the way he spoke.

"Maybe Venice can be a future holiday for the two of you."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Okay, next stop is Caesar's palace." Lucy's voice interrupted the two of you, you both turned to look at her as did everyone else. "I've booked us all in at the restaurant there."

The walks in Vegas always took longer than you expected. Due to the sheer size of the buildings, everything seemed closer than they actually were. But still, you enjoyed the walk.

For the duration of the walk there, you were talking animatedly to Changbin. Jeongin could not stop himself from glancing over at you every few minutes, even after Lucy slid her hand into his.

He was conflicted. Seeing you dragged up old feelings he thought were long dead. Apparently not. He felt guilty too.

But he loved Lucy, right? It was just because he hadn't seen you for so long, that's why he was feeling this way. And there was nothing he could do about it now, anyway. He had, after all, brought everyone out here, including you, to watch him marry Lucy.

He tried to shake the strange feelings away.

Once you were at the restaurant, you took a seat in-between Changbin and Seungmin. Jeongin watched from a few seats down as you laughed at something Seungmin said, his stomach twisting in knots. He almost lost it when he saw Seungmin brush an eyelash from your cheek. But why was he getting jealous? He hadn't felt this kind of jealousy in years.

But Seungmin had always been a bit of a sore spot for him.

He recalled how quickly your feelings for Seungmin had developed. He remembered the countless nights when you would talk non-stop about the guy. Jeongin became jealous, passing it off as being protective over his best friend. He had hated to see you swoon over Seungmin when he had been here with you for so long. Sat loving you quietly. He knew he loved you very early on. Before he even really understood what love was, he knew. He was certain that he could never love again after you left.

He liked Lucy. He really did. But did he love her? Could he love her? Did he really want to marry her?

This is not the time to be having doubts, he told himself.

He could not pull his eyes away from you as you continued to laugh with Seungmin. What did Seungmin have that he himself did not? It was a question that had plagued him all those years ago. Part of him had hated the guy. Even after they became friends. Even after Seungmin had reassured Jeongin that you so clearly had feelings for him.

That was a bittersweet memory.

Seungmin had pulled him aside one day, many years ago. Jeongin eyed him suspiciously. Was he going to ask about you?

"Did I do something to offend you?"

"What?"

"You just seem to not like me."

"It's not that."

"What is it then?"

"Well, it's..." Something suddenly clicked in Seungmin's mind.

"Y/N." Jeongin couldn't meet his eyes.

"Yeah."

"You like her and you're worried that because she and I are friends now you won't have a chance."

"Something like that."

"Well, in that case, you've got nothing to worry about." Jeongin wanted to protest, tell him he in fact had a lot to worry about, but he wasn't going to tell Seungmin about your feelings for him.

"I'm certain she likes you. Do you have any idea how much she talks about you? So, really, don't worry. She's really great and I like her but not in that way. Nothing is going to happen between us." Jeongin felt himself ease up a little. "So, friends?"

"Friends," Jeongin agreed.

It had been a sweet moment because it had given Jeongin some hope that something would happen between the two of you. But now it was bitter because nothing ever did.

He sighed as the true weight of his feelings settled in. He had been right, he could never love anyone after you. He could never love anyone but you.

But still, he cared about Lucy and he could be happy with her.

He'd just have to keep reminding himself that you were never an option.

***

You almost stumbled down the stairs as everyone pushed their way out of the bus in the stifling heat. But nothing could bring your spirits down.

The tour guide was talking but you were too busy looking out at the view to pay attention. The group had booked a bus trip to the Grand Canyon. The grandeur of it all was truly something.

You heard a groan behind you as Lucy began to complain about the heat and the journey here.

"She chose to come to Las Vegas, it's in the middle of the desert, what did she expect?" Changbin said beside you as he snapped a photo of the canyon with his phone.

You had really tried to like Lucy, for Jeongin's sake. But, god, she made it hard. She was patronising and at times just plain rude. But you knew Jeongin must see something in her so for now you would settle for acting civil.

"We drove all the way out here for this?" You rolled your eyes at her comment.

"It's the fucking Grand Canyon, how is she complaining? How is she not at least a little impressed?" You said to Changbin.

"I have no idea. But I think it's safe to say she won't fancy going to see the Pyramids of Giza or Petra at any point."

By the end of your trip, you were glad to find she finally stopped complaining once she got back to the bus. You watched her sigh in relief as she stepped on. Thank god Changbin had been there to keep you calm. You had honestly thought about pushing her into the canyon.

Besides Lucy's constant moaning, the trip had been a highlight of the holiday. Your sore feet and the heat from the desert sun hadn't even bothered you because you were too excited to be there.

You took one last look out at the canyon as the sun began to set and you took a picture.

"This was your idea, right?" You had noticed Jeongin a couple of feet away, doing the same thing as you.

"How did you know this was my idea?"

"Because I know you." And with that you turned and left him behind, getting onto the bus. Jeongin was the last on the bus, he looked at you first to find you already sitting with Changbin then he looked at Lucy to find she was sitting with one of her friends. The only remaining seat was next to Seungmin. He was quiet for most of the journey back, constantly gazing over at you, while the rest of the bus was full of lively chatter.

"You wanna talk about it?" Seungmin asked softly.

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever is going on between you and Y/N."

"There's nothing going on," He replied sharply, looking between you and Lucy, hoping neither of you heard Seungmin.

"You're in denial, my friend."

"Will you shut up? I'm with Lucy, I'm happy with Lucy, I love..."

"Y/N?" Seungmin offered. Jeongin wanted to lie but he knew he would never be able to deny it.

"Just be quiet, I'm gonna try and get some sleep."

"I'm just trying to help, I don't want you to make a mistake if you're not one hundred percent sure you want to marry Lucy."

"I never said I wasn't sure I wanted to marry Lucy."

"You didn't need to, I can read it on your face."

"Stop acting like you know everything, Seungmin, you don't. Now, seriously, shut up." Seungmin held his hands up in defeat. Jeongin shut his eyes and tried to get some sleep. But even in his dreams, his feelings haunted him, along with Seungmin's words echoing in his head.

***

"How do I look?" You asked Seungmin and Changbin who were sitting on your bed. You had gotten changed into your dress for the bachelorette party in the bathroom.

"You look incredible, Y/N," Seungmin said sincerely.

"Agreed. You look beautiful," Changbin added.

"Thanks, guys."

"So, what's the bachelorette party doing tonight?"

"Drinking, most likely. I honestly have no idea. What do you guys have planned for Jeongin's bachelor party?"

"Dinner first, then we're heading to Fremont Street. After that, we'll probably just get a taxi back and see what we can find on the strip."

"Very nice. You're guys are gonna have a lot of fun."

"And you won't?"

"I will, it's just I don't really know many of the girls here and I don't particularly get along with Lucy."

"Jeongin's mum will be there."

"Yeah, that's true, I do love his mum."

"That's not the only thing bothering you, is it?" Changbin asked and you sighed in response.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Seungmin asked.

"Please don't ask me that again because I might burst into tears."

"Don't keep it all bottled inside."

"It's just I-" You took a deep breath. "I realised that I never stopped loving him. Oh, yeah. I never told you did I, Seungmin? Well, surprise, I've had been in love with Jeongin for years and when I moved away I thought I was over him but it turns out I'm not." You smiled sadly as a few tears began to roll down your cheeks.

"I knew."

"You did?"

"Yeah, it was pretty obvious. Plus, Changbin may or may not have accidentally let it slip one time when we were hanging out."

"You did what?" You asked, turning to Changbin.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, really. But hey, Seungmin didn't tell anyone, right?"

"No, I never told anyone."

"Thank you."

"I think you should tell him."

"It's literally the night before his wedding, how could I do that to my best friend? I mean, I haven't even told him I'm moving back to Seoul."

"You what?!"

"Oh, shit, I didn't tell you two either. Well, yeah. I got a new job in Seoul and I've been looking for apartments there. I think I've settled on one and if all goes well, hopefully, I'll be back home a few months after the wedding. I wanted to keep it a secret until the wedding was over, I didn't wanna take anything away from his special day. I just really needed to come home, plus I've missed you guys too much. But if I'm being honest, I wanted to move back for him. I felt pathetic admitting it but I couldn't go any longer without seeing him. I just want him back in my life. It's just been a really hard 3 years."

"I can't believe this, you're coming home." Changbin leaned forward and gave you a hug. "I'm never gonna let you leave again, you understand that?"

"Yeah," You laughed through your tears. "But my point is, I'm not telling him anything. Not that I'm moving back to Seoul, at least not until after the wedding. And I'm certainly not telling him that I've been in love with him for god knows how many years."

"You're sure you don't wanna tell him?" Seungmin pushed.

"I don't. I'll be fine. He'll marry Lucy and it'll hurt but I'll have you two to get me through it. Jisung too, speaking of which, where is he? He said he was on his way."

"Who knows where he is? You know what he's like." Changbin replied.

Seungmin continued to look at you before sighing and pulling you into a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologise, it's my own stupid fault for allowing myself to fall for him in the first place."

"You'll get through this, Y/N, you always do." Seungmin pulled away and smiled at you.

"I really hope I will."

"Well, as you said, you've got us to help you through it," Changbin added, smiling at you as well before you were interrupted by Jisung knocking on the door.

"It's open." Jisung let himself in upon hearing your words. he took one look at the sombre scene and the tears on your face.

"Woah, what did I miss?"

***

After filling Jisung in on everything you all headed down to the lobby. Jisung's mind was still whirling with everything you had just told him.

"I can't believe I never saw it before, it's so obvious now."

"Yeah, it is. You're just the most oblivious person on the planet, that's all," Seungmin teased as the elevator door slid open.

"I really can't believe I missed it, but I'm with Seungmin on this one. I think you should tell him."

"I told you guys already, not going to happen. Jeongin and I have a long and complicated history, I can't ruin everything we've ever had by telling him. Now drop it and go celebrate with Jeongin." The rest of the party members came into sight. Changbin, Jisung, and Seugmin each gave you a hug before joining all the guys. You joined the bachelorette party, greeting Jeongin's mother. Once everyone was there, the two groups went their separate ways.

You had spent the entire night with Jeongin's mother, as you had expected you would. You talked mostly about everything that happened during the 3 years you spent away from Seoul. You both were a few drinks in when you confided in her that you were moving back to Seoul, asking her not to tell her son yet. It was something you wanted to tell him. Not long after that, she confided in you too.

"I always hoped it would've been you."

"What?"

"That'd you'd be the one he'd marry. Is it wrong for me as his mother to say that when he's about to marry someone else? I know he cares about Lucy but I was certain something would happen between the two of you. At least, I always hoped something would."

"So did I," You confessed. The alcohol was starting to take effect.

"So you did feel something for Jeongin?"

"Of course I did. I still do, if I'm being honest. Your son is truly the greatest person to ever walk into my life. But I'm glad he's happy. I would rather watch him be happy with someone else than be miserable with me.

"He could never be miserable with you."

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"I do. But I think my son would want to know your true feelings. With everything out in the open he can make the right decision."

"It's too late. I should've told him years ago, I'll just be stressing him out if I told him."

"Are you sure you don't want to tell him?"

"Please, trust me. It's better if he never learns about the way I truly feel. As I said, I just want him to be happy."

"I want that too. For both of you. I suppose that if it's meant to be it will be. I will always have a small sliver of hope for the two of you though."

"Exactly, if it's meant to be it will be. Now come on, I love this song, shall we dance?"

And so, you spent most of the night dancing with Jeongin's mother. You spoke to a few of the other girls there but they were almost all there for Lucy and you wouldn't admit it but you were avoiding her. You thought if you spoke to her you would come to truly dislike her, if you kept away from her you could remain indifferent. The last thing you wanted was to dislike the person Jeongin was marrying.

As the night went on you started to feel some of the alcohol take effect. You weren't drunk, just tipsy and a bit giggly. Eventually, the group made it back to the hotel bar as a final stop before the end of the night. When you arrived there, you were pleased to see that the bachelor party had the same idea and were already there.

"Changbin! Jisung!" You threw your arms around the two of them in a hug they gladly returned. "Seundmin!" You turned to the man and gave him a hug as well. You let go of him but he left his arm wrapped around your waist as you rested your head against his shoulder, shutting your eyes slightly. Jeongin, who was talking to some of the other party guests, was glad of this as you couldn't see the way he was looking at the two of you. There was that awful feeling in the pit of his stomach again.

"Had a nice night?" Seungmin asked you.

"Very. But I'm tired."

"You should go to bed then. We're up early tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're right. I think I am gonna head to bed. So I'll see you guys tomorrow. Don't stay up too late." You hugged Seungmin.

"I hate that motherly tone you use sometimes," Jisung said.

"I only do it because I know it annoys you." He rolled his eyes but had a smile on his face.

"Goodnight, Y/N," He said, hugging you too.

"Gonna be alright getting up there?" Changbin asked as you hugged him.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I haven't had too much."

"Alright then, goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight guys."

Before you left you made your way over to Jeongin.

"Had a good time?" You asked him. He turned to you with a smile.

"Yeah, it's been good."

"Well, I just came to say goodnight to you and Lucy but I see she's not here. Where is she?"

"I have no idea. I think she went to bed already."

"Oh right. Well, anyway, I wanted to get plenty of sleep for the big day tomorrow."

"Yeah, well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah...Hey, congratulations again. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks." You didn't pick up on the strange sadness in his tone as you left.

You were glad to be back in the quiet of your hotel room, the warm bed comforting you as the harsh reality of everything settled in. Not long after, sleep overtook you. But it didn't last.

You had only been asleep for an hour or two when a sudden knocking on your door woke you. Quietly, you tiptoed over to the door, peering out of the eyehole. You were relieved to find it was Jeongin. You opened the door, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Jeongin, what are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." You noticed his rather distressed state.

"What's up?" You sat down on the bed as you watched him pace back and forth.

"It's off."

"What?"

"The wedding. It's off."

"The wedding is off?"

"I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I didn't see what was going on."

"Woah, hey, calm down." You stood up and took his hands in your own before guiding him to sit down on the bed. "Let's talk this through. What happened?"

"She's been cheating on me. The entire time with one of her friends from work. I went upstairs to my room and found them together."

"Are you serious? Are you alright?"

"I don't know. It just hurts because I trusted her and I'm embarrassed because they've been fucking each other the entire time and I never noticed but now it's so clear. He was always around whenever I visited her at work. I should've known."

"Hey, none of this is your fault, how could you have known?"

"I feel so stupid for dragging everyone out here to watch me get married to somebody who never even loved me."

"Did she say that she never loved you?"

"She said that she thought she could be happy with me but she never loved me. And then she started to talk about how maybe it was better she never loved me because she knew I never loved her either."

"Well, do you love her?"

"No. I don't think I ever did and I always felt guilty. I told myself I could learn to love her, I just had to give it a try. It wasn't working but I never once cheated on her. I really did like her and I tried to love her, I did. But I've only been in love once, I don't think I'm ever gonna feel that way about anyone else other than that person." You wanted to ask him about who this person was but honestly, you weren't sure you were ready to hear about the lucky person that had managed to steal Jeongin's heart.

You instead let Jeongin talk. You listened to every word he said as he explained everything Lucy and him had argued about. he told you everything except the parts where Lucy brought up your name. He had never known that his feelings were so obvious but it had him worrying that you might have caught on as well. And with that worry came guilt. Shouldn't he be more worried about the fact that he caught his fiancée cheating?

"And the thing is, I hate the fact that she cheated but I can't hate her. Because I know she's right. I don't love her. I think we were just at the stage in our relationship where we had to move on to the next step because that's what everyone else around us was doing. We never loved each other but didn't want to end it because if we broke up we'd have to start all over again with someone new. I was content with the way things were, even if I didn't love her. God, I'm a bad person, aren't I?"

"Jeongin, no, you're not a bad person. Don't you dare even think that. You were just not sure what to do and you made a mistake."

Eventually, Jeongin managed to calm down. You found some of the oversized clothes that you wore to sleep in and let him wear them. They fit him perfectly. You were both lying in your bed now, waiting for the other to speak.

"Is it bad that I think I'm actually a little relieved the wedding is off? I don't think I would've gone through with it, anyway, even if this didn't happen," Jeongin spoke first. You stayed quiet. "I've been having doubts that entire time we've been here but if we got to the day, and I was up on the altar, I don't think I could've said 'I do.' I always knew deep down I wouldn't marry her."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Me or Seungmin or Changbin or anyone. We could've helped you."

"I know but I felt embarrassed. We made a big deal about this grand Las Vegas wedding and now it's not even happening."

"People will understand. We want to see you happy before all else. Don't worry about that stuff from now on, alright? We won't judge you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. It's okay. But what are you going to do about tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure."

"If you don't want to face everyone, you don't have to. But message the guys and let them know. I'm sure Lucy will have to explain to her friends what's going on. Maybe let your parents know too, they'll be worried if not."

"Alright." He leaned over and picked up his phone before typing out a few messages. You watched him silently, the phone screen illuminating his face.

"That's not going to be a nice message for them to wake up to." He sighed.

"It doesn't matter. Stop worrying about everyone else and just think about yourself, yeah? Everyone has to put themselves first every now and then."

Changbin was still awake and messaged back quickly. Jeongin's phone pinged and he quickly read the message.

"Changbin says that he will explain to everyone if I don't feel up to it."

"See, I told you. We've got you. We'll help you. That's what friends are for, right? Now, come on, try and get some sleep. It'll do you good."

***

Changbin enlisted Seungmin to help inform everyone that the wedding was off. It was certainly not a job they enjoyed doing but for the sake of their friend, they were glad they could help.

Jeongin stayed in your bed for most of the day, too embarrassed to face anyone. Sometime in the afternoon, you headed up to his room after he gave you his key card. You did not really want to see Lucy but you knew he certainly wouldn't want to either. And he needed his clothes. You were glad to find that Lucy wasn't in the room, so you picked him some clothes so he could get changed. Afterward, you brought him some food hoping to cheer him up. Once he had finished eating you spoke up.

"You shouldn't be the one embarrassed, she's the one that got caught cheating."

"I can't help it."

"Come on, we're in Las Vegas. I'm not having you lounging around all day. Let's go out sightseeing or something. Just the two of us. Forget about everyone else." Jeongin groaned but you grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him out of bed. Rather dejectedly, he picked up the clothes you had gotten for him and headed to the bathroom to get changed. When he had finished getting ready two of you headed for the strip.

You had a few places in mind to visit. And, as you dragged him from hotel to hotel, you saw that a smile slowly started to creep onto his face. As you strolled through the fake French street in the Parisian hotel he turned to you.

"This has helped a lot, thank you."

"No need to thank me, I'm having fun too."

"Where are we heading next?" He asked.

"The New York, New York hotel. They've got a rollercoaster, isn't that crazy? I'm gonna force you to come on it with me." And that's what you did. You took hold of his hand as the drop of the rollercoaster neared, both of you screaming and laughing as you reached it and plummeted. When you got off the rollercoaster you laughed at each other's windswept hair.

"That was fun. Shall we get something to eat now?"

"Yeah, I'm getting hungry."

You found a restaurant close by and ordered your food.

"Feeling better?" You asked him.

"Yeah. I am actually. Looking back now I just think how stupid Lucy and I were to stay together when we knew we weren't in love."

"At least you realised now, before the wedding."

"Yeah, I suppose. Honestly, being here has made me realise a lot of other things too."

"What like?"

"Remember when I mentioned that I'd only ever loved one girl before? I've realised I still love her." His words hurt you but you didn't let on.

"So this mysterious girl, are you gonna tell me about her?" He smiled softly at you.

"No. I don't think I will. I'd like to keep her all to myself."

"Come on, not one tiny detail. I'll take anything."

"Ok fine. When I knew that nobody else could cheer me up, she was always the one I would turn to."

"I'm glad. But, hey, when you confess let me know so I can talk to her. I gotta make sure she takes care of my best friend."

"She always takes care of me."

***

The sunset was beautiful that day as the two of you continued your walk along the strip. You were enjoying your time together but you were saddened by the fact that it was your last day there. You would be heading back to Korea tomorrow. All the other party guests would be flying back too. All except Jeongin and Lucy. They had planned to stay a few more days, just the two of them, as a little honeymoon.

"What are you gonna do about staying here?"

"I'm gonna see if they have another room and pay whatever I have to for it."

"You sure you're gonna be alright?"

"I'm sure, don't worry about me."

You headed back to the hotel, where Jeongin was able to arrange and pay for another room for the next couple of days until he left. The two of you moved his stuff into his room from his original room, thankfully avoiding Lucy, before heading back to your room. The two of you spent the rest of the night chatting, trying to ignore the fact that you were leaving tomorrow. He ended up staying in your room rather than going to his own. Jeongin wanted to spend every last minute of the trip with you.

The next morning, as you got ready to head to the airport the two of you were quiet as a strange atmosphere settled over you. You both got a taxi together to the airport, Jeongin insisting on coming with you. He embraced you in one last hug.

"I promise we won't lose contact this time, I don't wanna go another 3 years without seeing you."

"Don't worry, we won't."

"Good, have a safe flight."

"I'll message you as soon as I land."

He watched as you walked into the airport, fearing it would be the last time he saw you. He had so desperately missed you in the last 3 years since you moved from Seoul, he really didn't want to go through that again. He was planning to get a taxi back to the hotel but he found his feet couldn't move. A taxi pulled up beside him and out piled Changbin, Seungmin, and Jisung.

"Hey, Jeongin, what are you doing here?" Jisung asked.

"I just saw Y/N inside."

"Oh yeah, her flight is an hour before ours, we might see her inside," Changbin added.

"How are you feeling?" Seungmin asked.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. I mean with the wedding, I'm honestly relieved I didn't go through with it, but there's been a lot on my mind."

"Y/N, right?"

"Yep. You were right Seungmin."

"When am I not? So are you gonna do something about it"

"No. That would be stupid. She moved away and we might stay in contact now but we won't see each other."

"You're kidding me, right?" Changbin asked.

"What?" Jeongin asked, rather confused.

"She didn't tell you"

"Tell me what."

"She's moving back to Seoul."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, she's moving back."

"You should confess."

"What? No. I can't, she might be moving back to Seoul but so what, that doesn't change anything about our relationship."

"No, you don't understand," Seungmin said. "She's moving back to Seoul for you. She told us it was because she missed you too much. Jeongin, if that isn't a confession of love I don't know what is. You can still catch her up. Go tell her."

Without another word, Jengin took off running. he ran into the airport desperately searching for you. He found you queuing, waiting to go through the gate to the terminals.

"Y/N!" He shouted, a few people turned to see the commotion.

"What are you doing?"

"I need to talk to you before you leave."

You looked at him in disbelief before quickly moving from the queue, apologising to people as you pushed past.

"What is it?"

"You're moving back to Seoul? Why didn't you tell me?"

You looked down at your feet before answering him.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you but I didn't want to tell you before the wedding because I didn't want to take anything off of your moment. And then I wasn't sure how to tell you so I thought I'd surprise you."

"I can't believe you're moving back! God, I love you so much." You froze.

"What?"

"I mean it, Y/N, I really do. When I told you that I'd only ever been in love with one person before, I was talking about you. Being here has made me realise that I was never over you. I've been in love with you since we were teenagers and I never told you, I wish I had."

You smiled brightly before leaning forward. Your lips hovering over his own. When he made no move to pull away, you connected your lips to his. The kiss was everything you had dreamt of. It was these past 5 years of yearning and missing him all in one action. It had all built up to this and if you could relive one moment for the rest of your life you would pick this one. When you pulled away you both smiled.

"I love you too. I have for years. Being here made me realise too that I never got over you."

"We've been so stupid."

"So stupid." You agreed.

You pulled him into another hug. Neither of you wanting to let the other go.

"I've got to go."

"I know."

"Hey, I'm moving to Seoul and once I do we can figure this out. We've waited years for each other and now we will have all the time in the world to do it right this time."

"I just want you to know that, once you get to Seoul, I'm never letting go of you ever again."

"And I'm never gonna let go of you either." You smiled before slowly pulling away from him.

As you slowly left to queue back up, Jeongin smiled at you. He watched you as you neared the front of the queue. He didn't want to see you leave but he knew that soon he would see you again. As you were about to go through the gate, you turned back and smiled at him.

"Wait for me in Seoul," You shouted over.

"Always."

#stray kids #skz #kpop #skz in #skz jeongin #yang jeongin #yang jeongin x reader #yang jeongin fluff #fanfiction #fanfic

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