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ma1dita · 5 months

Text

heavy hitter

part one can be found here!

this was a request, find it here!

words: 3.5k (yall im so sorry)

summary: james potter x beater!reader James might’ve won the game, but he needs to let people know he has the girl too.

warnings: smut. minors DNI. afab!reader, p in v, pwp, unprotected sex (wrap b4 u tap) locker room sex, creampie, oral (m!receiving) reader is a brat… this is nasty don’t look at me (jesus tagging this is crazy)

a/n: …. what plot? i wanted to write angst again but got bored so… *jazz hands* erm…. this is my first smut fic, i’ll go crawl in a hole now

(posted 12/19/23 not edited will return)

—

Hitting the shower was James’ chance of washing his anger away before seeing you again tonight. He always gave quidditch his 110% percent, but something animalistic rose out of him when he saw you get manhandled by Wilkins, his team keeper. And regardless of the Gryffindor win, he was planning to chew off his ear later, whether it be with extra laps at the next practice or a good ol’ fashioned wallop to the head. But this anger wasn’t due to a foul play, not even because you got hurt (your arm was clearly fine since you used it to swing your bat at Wilkins’ head after). What got James mad was the fact you ripped your jersey.

No, actually, it was definitely because of what happened after that.

He’s not the type of boyfriend to decline you showing a little extra skin, but any fantasy that entered his mind was quickly cleared away when he saw you re-emerge from the locker rooms wearing your teammate’s jersey. McGonagall said it would be the only way to let you play the rest of the game since there’s no magic allowed on the field, but ever the rulebreaker, James thought that was absolute bullshit.

He rinses the shampoo out of his mop of curls as he thinks about that tosser whose name he can’t even remember. The guy was way too eager to give you his jersey, flirting with you at practices and just not taking a hint. Everyone knew you’d been dating him for a while now, and of course, James knows you can handle yourself, but there are just some things he can’t let slide. Namely, assholes that can’t take a hint. Also, he was a benchwarmer at most. Cocky motherfucker.

Watching you fly around with some other guy’s last name on your back did terrible things to James’ ego. The blur of suds pool at his feet, circling down the drain as he takes a deep breath. He’s got it bad for you, but luckily you like him enough to call him yours.

The Gryffindor locker room was empty by now with everyone too eager to celebrate their win. It was his last year as team captain and at Hogwarts in general, so he should be right up there drinking with all of them, but James really needed to let off some steam.

“Babe?” Your voice calls from the doorway, echoing against the empty walls. Condensation drips off the door handle as you take a peek to see the one shower going in the corner. What was taking him so long? You saw the rest of the team leave without him and they were trying to drag you to celebrate with them, but with your boyfriend still drowning himself in the stall….

“Over here love,” he calls out, hearing your sandals clomp against the wet tile as you turn the corner.

“You almost done? We have a party to get to, Jamie.”

The falling water makes it a bit hard to hear you, so he pops his head out from behind the curtain and squints at your frame. You giggle and pull his chin closer for a few quick kisses.

“Is that your jersey?”

His lips feel so soft against yours as you get distracted, slipping your tongue into his mouth instead of giving him a proper answer. Godric you’re good at that. James’ wet hand quickly pushes the curtain open grabbing at your ass and tucking you against his naked body, soaking the front of you in the process. A muffled yelp escapes you as your body adjusts to the temperature and the feeling of his semi-hard dick against your front.

“No, coach still has mine and I have to return this to Steven after.” You say calmly, smiling against his cheek as he sucks at your neck. He would’ve enjoyed getting lost in the scent of your still-damp hair, but your statement makes him stop as he bites at your pulse point. A whimper leaves your mouth.

“Why the fuck are you still wearing whatshisname’s jersey?”

James’s hands trail up your back to feel the embroidered letters against your back, and he swears his eye twitches. The incredulous look on his face makes you hold back your laughter.

“Steven. You know him! Don’t tell me this is a big deal for you, baby. You know I couldn’t magically fix mine during the game…”

Your hands trace down his slippery biceps as he unconsciously ruts against your belly, cock now at full attention from rubbing up against you. Your nipples are pebbled up under the material of the jersey, soaked from your less-than-innocent embrace, and he lifts a hand to brush over them, making you groan.

“Definitely not. I wouldn’t get jealous of a prick like him…” He scoffs, hands going back down to fist the fabric over your hips, “Not a big deal at all.”

“Mhmmm… I’ve got a way to make it up to you, even if it’s not a big deal.” You muse, fingers reaching to tease his swollen head as James exhales harshly.

“I’d hope this is a big deal for you, baby. Would want nothing more,” he breathes, pushing your back against the wall.

“You just want me to say your dick is big.”

The both of you laugh before he tugs the jersey over your head, ripping it in the process.

“James!”

He shrugs, burrowing his head into your breasts and lapping at your right bud. You moan, shoving your shorts down past your ankles before pulling his hair away from your chest.

“Mmmm…fuck, babe. I’m supposed to be congratulating you right now!”

Your hands push at his torso slightly as you fall to your knees, placing yourself onto your sandals. Gentle hands graze his thighs, as he feels your nose bump into his cock. The water hits James’ back perfectly, and the sensation of your hand pumping and sliding along his length makes him almost feral, shutting his eyes in pleasure.

“You played so well today baby… deserve a reward, don’t you think?”

Your tongue slips out from behind your lips to lick the underside of his length, holding yourself there as you look up at him to answer. Droplets cascade down his pecs as he breathes heavily at the feeling, precum leaking from his cockhead. James hisses as you tap him against your tongue.

“Fuck, baby. Need your mouth right now.” He can feel you grin against his girth before his cock disappears into your mouth, hot and warm, and his instinct is to grab your hair. Goosebumps rise on the parts of him untouched by the shower. Your throat rumbles with a groan as you let him work himself down into your throat, the resistance waning as your jaw slackens. Cheeks hollowing, your lips retract with a pop.

“Like that, Jamie?” you say, reaching around to massage his balls as your tongue continues to play with the long vein that runs along the surface of his cock. It’s hard to fit all of him in your mouth, fingers barely able to wrap around it, much less the rest of you. His hand massages the part where your mouth hinges open, squeezing your cheeks around him as he fucks into you with a bated sigh.

“You always take me so well, baby. You can handle more, that’s it,” he pants, biting his lip as you concentrate real hard on letting him use you, the corners of your eyes watering. His heart is racing now as his hips piston to the noises that come gurgling from your throat and he almost slips before his reflexes help him catch the back of your head before it bangs into the stall wall. A loud moan sputters from around his cock as your eyes roll back, and the lack of oxygen makes you press your fingernails into his quads harshly.

He pulls out from between your lips, cradling your chin as the both of you catch your breath, coughing a little.

“You okay? Mouth so good I lost my footing.” All you can do is laugh hoarsely as he grins boyishly before you realize he’s not wearing his glasses.

“Can you even see me? S’bit cold down here, Mr. MVP.”

He pulls you up, strong hands lifting you at your armpits until you stand in front of him, reaching over to grab his glasses from the shower shelf. You slide them on as water sprays onto them slightly as he shifts, blinking at you in clearer vision.

“There’s my boy,” you whisper, cupping his jaw and slotting your lips between his once more. You could kiss James forever, all muscles and hard exterior, but everything else, his lips down to his insides feel and go soft for you. He groans lowly and it rumbles between the both of you, before the slick motions against your core remind you of something else that’s really hard right now.

“All for you,” he sighs, hands gripping onto your hips with a force that you think they’ll bruise tomorrow, and you love having physical reminders of him wherever you go. Huh, maybe he is jealous. And if not, he’s possessive. It makes your cunt pulse harder just thinking about it, your arousal helping his head slide nicely against your bundle of nerves and the softness of your stomach.

“I’m yours, you know that right?” Not replying, he instead inhales the sweat from your neck, following it with a dip of his tongue up towards your ear.

“James.”

Your boyfriend scoffs lightly, a small smirk on his face as he pulls your chin up to meet him at eye level. You’re so gorgeous like this, just letting him do what he wants to you. Always so reassuring of his needs. His thumb rubs against your bottom lip before you open your mouth and swirl your tongue around clean skin.

“Just feels like I have to remind you sometimes, pretty girl. Can’t let everyone walk around thinking you’re not mine.”

“I wouldn’t mind a reminder. Some marks would be nice too,” you grin, biting at his lip while your hands stroke him slowly, your own knees buckling in excitement.

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Brat.” James hoists your legs over his hips, slamming your back into the wall as you squeak. Sandwiched between the warmth of his body and the cold of the shower wall, your eyes roll back as he eases his cock between your dripping folds, moans falling from your lips when he sinks into you, inch by inch.

His girth always has a way of stretching you open, and every time feels like the first as he taps at your thigh reminding you to take deep breaths. Fuck the party, you could stay here all night.

“Fill you up so nicely…we’re almost there, good girl.” His voice shakes, wanting to slam the rest of him straight into your cervix.

Your hands are gripping his shoulders until you finally feel him nudge the deepest parts of you, and you sigh when it all fits. Perfect.

“Always so big Jamie. Almost too much.” He kisses your cheek, hips starting to create a rhythm as he mutters into your ear.

“Not too much for my girl. Just perfect. Perfect pussy for this cock. All for you,” he grits, skin sliding and slapping as your thighs get pressed into your chest with the intense force he’s plunging into your guts.

“James, fuck….fuck you’re so deep! Feels so fucking good!” Filthy whimpers leave you and he loves the sound of your desperation when he’s inside of you like this. Too bad there’s no one else here to hear it. If Steven could only see you now.

“Such a good cunt for me to use. Only mine.”

He gasps for air as his feet slip against the tile once more, his heavy breathing fogging up his glasses, and his hold on you just as tight as your grip on his cock. Shit. His heart almost fell through his ass.

Your eyes open to see him struggling and a giggle escapes your mouth as you watch the stupid fucked out look on his face.

“How do people even fuck in the shower? This shit’s dangerous. Don't wanna maim the Gryffindor captain again.”

Your laughter sends jolts down to his throbbing shaft and he shakes his head with a smile, parting the curtain with one hand before carrying you still impaled on him towards the metal benches, placing you down softly.

“At least you finally admit it was your fault, baby. Could barely see straight for a week after.”

He wipes his glasses between his fingers before gazing at you lying across the bench, legs spread and ready for him. What a woman.

“And here I am hoping that when you’re done with me I won’t be able to walk for a week after,” you breathe, hands squeezing your tits as his pupils dilate further at the sight of you. What a fucking witch!

“Fucking hell, you know I love you, right?”

James positions himself over you, kissing your ankle as he sheathes himself back into your sex, resuming his brutal pace and hurtling you quickly towards your peak.

“Y-yes! Merlin, fuck I… looove you!” you wail, hips rolling to meet his and his balls strike your ass hard with each thrust. Your insides are being shifted around with him spearing your cervix like this and there’s nothing in this world that you could name that’s able to compare to how he makes you feel.

Your pussy contracts as he somehow nestles himself deeper, body trembling in this position as he throws your left leg over his shoulder, lips chasing your nipples trying to suck the life out of you, and perhaps that was his plan so you could forget anyone else but him.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop, James. Don’t you fucking DARE!” you beg, clawing your way down his back, making him nip at you in pleasure as you draw pinpricks of blood.

The tight pressure of release starts creeping at your core, making you squirm under him but he pins your waist down harder to the bench, the metal leaving prints against your flesh. His hands press harder on your stomach, silently encouraging you to cum and you can feel the imprint of his dick bulging from inside your stomach.

“Don’t struggle for me baby, just let it go. I know you wanna cum…. That’s it.” James praises in a shattered breath, watching you writhe underneath him as he holds you close. Your legs are shaking as your vision goes black for a moment, cunt gushing with release and squirt coats his pubic hair as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You lay there, catching your breath as the stars clear from your vision, and you look up at him stroking himself to the sight of you coming undone.

“Sheesh, look at the mess you made. You okay?”

“More than okay, Jamie. Need you to finish the job,” you tease, toes grazing the skin of his hip and he slaps at your thigh with a smile.

“Insatiable minx. Turn around then, ass up f’me.”

You do as he says, getting on all fours and showing him the perfect round of your asscheeks, covered in milky residue from your recent orgasm, but you turn to look at him when he doesn’t come near.

“Babe?”

His locker clinks open as he pulls a fresh jersey out, walking back to you and guiding it over your head and arms as you smile, pecking his cheek. Your silly boy. There was no way you actually thought you hated him this time last year with how sweet he really is. His large hand grazes the embroidered patches now resting on your back, POTTER, in huge white letters, CAPTAIN, now resting at the base of your spine.

James’ eyes drift lower and he hums at the sight of you perched on the bench, dropping his face to your throbbing holes and taking a long swipe with the flat of his tongue as he savors your taste along with the sounds of your whining. From your swollen clit to the ring of your asshole he’s languishing in a flavor that’s so uniquely you, and he pulls back, smacking his lips.

“Scrumptious. How are you hotter with clothes on?” James grins, taking a playful bite of an asscheek before he slaps it lightly and stuffs you deep, without any further hesitation. Your sarcastic reply is lost in a moan that makes your toes curl.

He works you open onto his cock again, your back arching desperately to be as close as possible and his hand presses you down, sliding up your spine until his fingers curl around strands of your hair. Tits swinging until they’re crushed against the bench, your face is smooshed as you mumble pathetically in his grasp.

“What was that baby? Can’t hear you well…” He spits at you, and if anyone could see this they’d know he was enjoying the sight of you at his mercy. He grinds his shaft against your walls, ramming against your g-spot and you drool like a mindless plaything, greedy for his attention.

“Right…right fucking there, ohmygod!” His cock pummels your cunt deliciously, hands spreading your cheeks wide and the stretch is so good, perfectly stroking the need in your belly.

“You’re so needy, pretty girl. You love it like this, huh? Good thing I fuck you so well, right?”

Merlin, this boy can pull orgasms out of you as well as he plays quidditch. He’s the only person in the world you’d gladly submit and be this pathetically cockdrunk for. Good thing he's yours.

“Yes…yes! So good Jamie. No one can fuck me like you….”

The white-hot sensation digs at your insides as his fingers fall to your clit, rubbing at you just the way you like as shockwaves shake every crevice of your being. He's breathing over your neck, hot air puffing and elevating your senses before they shut down completely.

“Yeah? Then come on my cock again right now. Show me you like it that much. Now.”

Your arms give out, falling completely forward as your body jerks in searing pleasure, pussy fluttering around his cock once more, so intensely. Your hands flail behind you until they find his, and he's pulling you up against his hard chest as he bounces you onto his length and chases his high.

“Give it to me, please, please… I can take it!” You’re screaming now, at the intersection between pain and pleasure but wanting to make sure you can milk him for his efforts. James’ thrusts stagger as he leans his head on your shoulder, biting you as he cums hard.

“I know you can, baby. All yours…” he chokes out.

Thick white ropes coat your insides, wrapping you tight around him like a present until the excess seeps out to the base of his cock. You kiss his temple as James starts to regulate his breathing.

“Fuck. Fuck….” you drag out, the two of you more winded than you were playing the damn game.

“I still have to return Steven’s jersey,” you mumble, and James can’t do anything but smirk at the thought of the clueless boy standing outside your House's locker room while he fucked you senseless a few doors over. What a shame.

—

The two of you walk hand in hand into the Gryffindor common room to a crowd of students cheering for James. The party is well underway and many hands clap his now injured back, to which his grimaces make you bite back a laugh. Speaking of bites….

Sirius walks up to you with two cups of punch, wide grey eyes zeroed in on you wearing James’s jersey and the glaring red marks of your boyfriend’s teeth on your neck.

“Merlin. I thought you two would take time to celebrate on your own but did you fucking attack her?”

You both take the cups out of his hands, searing blushes on your faces and leave Sirius to his own imagination before James whispers in your ear that he’ll be gone for a moment.

“Okay, but hurry back, baby.”

A peck on the lips sends him on his way to walk straight towards that wanker–er, Steven with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Potter! Have you seen–” the dumb boy says eagerly, before James cuts in, “Yeah, my girlfriend couldn’t meet you earlier, sorry mate.”

His hand digs into the undetectable extension charm in his knapsack, pulling out a soggy, ripped jersey.

“We were kind of busy, but you know how to fix that don’t you? You’ll need it to keep you warm on the bench for the rest of the season after all.”

It plops sadly onto the floor in front of the guy, and James looks at him, hazel eyes conveying what he knows he doesn’t have to remind him anymore.

“Thanks again! Appreciate you looking out for my girl.”

He walks away from Steven, who’s sputtering sad excuses and your eyes meet his as James finds you near the drinks table.

“What did you do?” You say with a lifted brow.

“Nothing, pretty girl. Just making known what’s mine.”

—

"you are pressing against me

like i press flowers

against the pages in my book.

you are kissing my neck

and it feels like the start of forever.

i want to touch you until my palms burn."

-amirae garcia

taglist (OPEN): @jsjcue

#james potter x reader #james potter x reader smut #guys i really lost the plot w this one #made by ma1dita ♥︎#marauders x reader #marauders era

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writingstoraes · 11 months

Text

begin again 🌷 (split pt. 3)

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: the long awaited part 3! this took so long only cause i had no idea how i want it to go lol anyway i hope u guys love this one :D lmk what u think!

about: almost a year after your split with charles, fans take a trip down memory lane and wondering why the two of you seemed to have watered things down after soft launching other people months ago. a bunch of rumors also set twt crazy along with speculations at your paddock appearance where you apparently support ferrari.

read: part 1, part 2 (can read on its own, but the parts provide context hehe)

yourusername

liked by isahernaez, lilymhe, landonorris, and 231,298 others

yourusername back at the happiest place on earth ❤️

lilymhe Have fun, love xo

yourbff Looking that good just to watch a race????

tyretactics QUEEN I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO YOU EVERY RACE

charliez1655 miss mam twt is on fire we all miss you 😪

leclercsluv wdym shes almost always at every race ricciardoshooey no they meant w charles lol

yourusername recently added to her instagram story!

Now playing: Charles Leclerc, 2023 Austrian GP, Post-Sprint Shootout Interviews

yourusername

liked by yourbff, lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 210,593 others

yourusername on a wednesday, in a cafe, i watched it begin again

lecslover looking GOOD AS HELL QUEEN

sainzplaylist god shes back to the man shes been soft launching i think i am going to be: sick

1655lecs that might be charles, we don't know 🙏 sainzplaylist yeah i think its time we let that go lol

wagsqueens mam im sorry wym by begin again???

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, finemidnights, carlossainz55, and 982,221 others

charles_leclerc It's nice to have a friend 🌅

tyreexpert u cant tell me thats not y/n 😪 she's his friend after all...

joris__trouche Looking sharp!

lecssainz16 war is over you guys theyre back at it i am in my acceptance stage now

Some months later...

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, lilymhe, and 756,293 others

yourusername i am and willl always be your number one fan. words cannot encapsulate how proud i am of you; truly, you deserve all of this and so much more. congratulations, my love ❤️

it's nice to see you running towards me again :)

ps. yes we've been soft-launching each other the past months hahaha

leclercfan AM I DREAMING SOMEONE PINCH ME

livwatchraces i screamed when i saw you guys on the screen!!!

carlossainz55 Aaand they're back 🎉

charles_leclerc Thanks, number one shipper

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, arthurleclerc, and 1,982,384 others

charles_leclerc Sunshine in human form.

A few months ago, I started hanging on to the fact that in good faith and in good time, things will eventually work its way out. Almost a year ago, it seems as if we have closed a chapter but today, we are living proof people who are made for each other can begin again.

Ce sera toujours toi 🤍 It will always be you.

scuderiaferrari We missed you tons, Y/N! ❤️

wagsf1 the queen of all queens is back we love to see it

lecslover it's years later and he still talks about her the same way he always have 🥹

sainzchamp The way theyve been soft launching each other all this time and that one rumor of Charles being with another girl was still Y/N 😭

yourusername sold our apartment already? too bad 😆

charles_leclerc I never actually sold it, if I did, I'd probably buy it back

---------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @mehrmonga, @mess-in-side, @leclerc16s, @thelovehypothesis, @dakotali, @aldene-styles

notes: eeee and its finally done! cant believe it took so much time before i finished all three parts lol anyway thank you so much for those who waited for the part three (i see all the asks on my inbox and the comments ehehe) i really just didn't know how i wanted it to go so! i hope you guys love this and lmk what you think <3

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yaostars · 10 months

Text

HOW THEY ARE AS A FATHER

note: she/her prns, fem reader, tw: sh*dou a/n: idk how i came up with this.. summary: how they are as a father (poorly written)

kaiser

as much as annoying as he is once u pop that watermelon out he dead n gone

when he saw his child for the first time he bursted out in tears before blaming it on the hospitals lighting

since you both had a baby girl kaiser was cautious around everything that came across them

kaiser always wanted a baby boy so he could get his soccer skills even though he loves his daughter with his life but he finally felt like it was settled and no more kids (he wanted more kids)

yeah right he jinxed it you got pregnant again

you had a baby boy and once watermelon two came out kaiser couldnt help it but cried and admitted it

happy family

his daughter had gotten into ballet whilst his son got into soccer

he was the dad that rocked up for anything

kaiser secretly still wants another kid possibly soon once both kids at least get into first grade AND HE OPENLY ADMITTED IT TO HIS KIDS

rin

due to his cold personality this man can be a softie at times and that is when he is with you 24/7 or the fact you just pushed out his first ever kid

he cried a bit we know he isnt slick at it

after a few days being in hospital you could finally bring your little one home

when you got back to work and came home late you found rin next to the crib holding onto his childs hand

rin likes to show off at sae because he became a father first

after having a baby boy he got into soccer big time

he loves his family (but he wants to make more kids so he put a 6 month reminder)

yep u got pregnant at least a year later after having your first child

your having twins!!! when rin found out he was stuck in a daze

two girls meant twice as hard as pushing out the first child in the family

rin wanted to make sure his children had a happy healthy sibling relationship unlike saes and his

his daughters got into swimming and the other got into soccer as well

sporty family

sae

when sae found out you were pregnant he honestly thought you were joking around

pushing out a baby was hard enough but sae couldnt deal with only getting 3 hours of sleep a week

sae told rin about how he is a father but rin dgaf

sae was only wanting a small family nothing big like his brothers but it was nice just having a kid

the gods granted him a soccer girl and he became a soccer dad

he was thinking about having another kid with you but he didnt want to pressure you after telling him you never want to go through labour again

overall even though his family was small and a bit sporty he loved them heaps at the end of the day

shidou

this man is literally a dog on stuff being a little horny too much

when he found out you were pregnant he was over the moon and posting it on every single acc and every person he knows

shidou is defo a mummas boy so he told her everything

he wants a big family like a whole class he says

he marks the calendar when to love make again so you could have another kid right after you told him you were pregnant

the first child that was pushed out was a baby boy and shidou cried a bit but blamed it he has allergies

his first child was a maniac and had every single bit of shidous personality but looked like you

at least a few months after birthing your first child you were pregnant again and it was on purpose because of him

you had a baby boy again!!

shidou was wanting a baby girl so badly and even said he will try until he gets a baby girl in his family

for the third time you got pregnant and no it wasnt a baby girl

the second and third baby had your personality but mixed looks

FOR THE FOURTH TIME. you had finally gotten...

A BABY BOY!!! im joking a baby girl

and yes he cried but he was so happy so he could become a soccer dad

#bluelock #x reader #xreader #blue lock #michael kaiser #kaiser x reader #shidou ryusei #shidou x reader #itoshi sae #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi rin #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi brothers

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wttcsms · 1 year

Note

Hihi i saw ur request box was open & i just couldnt resist! A big confession to make here, uhh ive been such a big fan of u and yr writings and also u were the v first fanfic blog i came across a couple years ago so yea, u literally open my third eye to a whole new world of fics👉👈 🥺

i feel like you havent written angst in a while–and bc i miss ur angsty haikyuu fics– sooo could i request post-breakup college!au with atsumu or iwai (honestly anyone who'd best fit the scenario cuz i trust ur characterization👌) abt the aftermath of the breakup, them seeing us on campus and unconsciously following us with their eyes, reschin to help out on instinct only to realize theyre no longer together, thinking about what could've been just reminisce reminisce

ahhhh im sry honestly dont know how to expand more on the idea

thank you for stealing my ficvirginity😃

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 2.1k content contains exes still in love, college!au, mutual pining author's notes hi <3 i remember you (eycee, right?). don't be a stranger! you can always dm me and say hello :) thank you for the constant support. not sure if this fic is angsty enough, but i wanted yours to be the first req i do <3

“Hi, welcome in! Let me know if— Oh.”

Your voice falters, recognition and maybe even something similar to embarrassment flits across your face, and a split second later, you go back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. Like the two of you haven’t spent the better half of this month actively avoiding each other at all costs, even though the sprawling acres of the University of Tokyo suddenly feels too small. The entirety of Japan has felt too small ever since it became his mission to never cross paths with you ever again.

This mission of his started just a little over two weeks ago, on the very same day you decide to use his heart as your own punching bag. The worst part of it all, though, is the fact that he doesn’t even hold any type of contempt for you. It’s a cruel sort of joke; sometimes, Atsumu Miya feels like everything bad that happens to him is just some sort of sick punchline in a sitcom instead of real life.

Usually, when girlfriends find out their high school sweetheart is going to be a wildly successful (and rich) professional athlete, they’ll do anything in their power to hang onto him.

You decided to snip the invisible string tying the two of you together, and you did it so effortlessly, so quickly, that Atsumu had to make sure that he hadn’t been imagining the last four years of your relationship.

He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s torn between staring at you like a total creep or looking at everything in the campus bookstore but you. He settles for the former, scared that this will be his last opportunity to really look at you.

Neither of you is saying anything. It’s a Saturday and so no one else is even in the bookstore this morning, and Atsumu wants to say something, anything, but he’s never been that great at carefully picking his words, and he’s scared out of his mind that he’ll say something stupid and prove once and for all that you had been right to break up with him. Better yet, he wants you to say something. He wants you to give him a better explanation instead of the bullshit you told him in his apartment.

We just want different things.

What does that even mean? He thinks he would have shouted out that question, if only your little break up speech hadn’t caught him so off guard. Different things? The two of you wanted different things? Sure, Atsumu likes to sleep in a freezing cold apartment, and you need the room to actually be at a reasonable temperature. And maybe Atsumu has a penchant for overly fried, greasy foods when all you want (and deserve) is a fancy dinner. Maybe Atsumu wants to be at a sports store instead of browsing aisle after aisle in Sephora, but he doubts these different wants have accumulated so much that you felt you had no choice but to break his heart.

“Hey, Miya.” You say it softly, dropping the perky customer service voice you greeted him with before you turned around and realized who he was. And he flinches. He fucking visibly cringes at the way you speak to him, walking on eggshells and going back to formalities like he’s barely above a stranger to you.

Miya.

(Did you know that he wanted to make that your last name?

Do you know that he still does, even now?)

“Hey,” he replies back, curling his fingers into fists inside his pocket. He thinks his voice comes out all scratchy, like how it always sounds when you don’t use your voice nearly enough. He clears his throat awkwardly. Everything feels awkward; everything feels wrong. He says “hey”, but what he really means to say is please don’t call me Miya; you know the color of my toothbrush, you don’t have to call me Miya.

“Were you looking for something?”

You.

Subconsciously, Atsumu finds himself seeking you out. He walks by another girl on campus and almost breaks his neck with the speed he turns around to catch a whiff of the perfume wafting from her body because he swears it’s the same fragrance you favor. He walks by the building that houses all the classrooms for your specific major, even though it’s located on the opposite side of his own classes because he secretly hopes against all hope that he’ll run into you, and you’ll see him and fall in love with him again. He goes to the same restaurants the two of you frequently ate at together, and he orders your usual because you can never finish your entire meal and always have him finish off the leftovers for you (and the food is always good, but somehow it doesn’t taste the same when your utensils haven’t touched it first). And he doesn’t even need to be here, doesn’t even care enough about his stupid class to go out of his way to buy the study guide, but he knows you’ve started picking up the weekend shifts at the campus bookstore, and suddenly, he cares enough about passing to get the damn study guide.

He shrugs. “Just some stupid workbook to study for an upcoming exam, but it’s not that serious.”

“Oh. Is Dr. Furata giving you a hard time again?”

“How do you do that?” Atsumu blurts out, wanting to kick himself for giving too much of himself away. You already own every centimeter of his heart and maybe his soul. You don’t need anything else from him; he’s almost certain there’s nothing left for him to give you, but he can’t help but impulsively ask the damn question that’s been running through his mind ever since you left him behind.

Did you know that when you’re confused, your brows furrow together, and you get this adorable, endearing crinkle in between them? Do you know that he still finds that same expression as cute as he did when you still called yourself his girlfriend?

“What are you talking about?”

How can you just stand there and act like you never crushed his heart? How do you wake up in the morning and not feel like your life is missing something important, like you’ll never feel whole again? How can you keep him wrapped around your finger, and then have the audacity to not even realize it? How did you let him go so quickly?

Practicing caution, he swallows hard before clarifying, “How do you know everything?” Because if you can act like he’s just a polite acquaintance, like he’s nothing more than another fellow classmate, he can try to play pretend too. He can act like there’s not enough history between the two of you to fill up every damn textbook in this stupid store. “Yeah, Dr. Furata’s been on everyone’s ass. Somethin’ about midterm grades being worth a quarter of our overall grade.”

“Believe me, you’re not the first victim of Dr. Furata’s to come wandering in the store. I think I have a few more of the workbooks he suggested in stock. Let me go check.”

It’s instinct at this point for Atsumu to just follow you. If he uses his imagination, it’s almost like he’s back to browsing in a makeup store, walking aimlessly in every aisle, following you loyally because he’s happy to have you lead the way and he doesn’t care where he ends up, so long as you’re there with him.

But this isn’t an afternoon date with you. This is him following a bookstore employee. After you find that study guide, which is really nothing more than his flimsy excuse for seeking you out, you’re going to ask him “card or cash?”, ring him up at the register, and he’s going to walk out that door and have to act like he’s still not in love with you. All the while, you’re doing fine. You’re fine right now, and you’re going to be fine when he leaves, and you’re probably going to be fine, five years down the line, when you’re happy with someone else and Atsumu is alone because in this little hypothetical, he still hasn’t gotten over you.

He is trailing behind you in this bookstore, and your back is facing him, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t think he’s capable of not loving you.

Just two weeks ago, you knew him better than anyone else in the world, maybe even better than Osamu, perhaps even better than he knows himself. Now, you just give him a polite smile as you grab the small stool to reach the books located at the very top of the shelf.

“God, I hate the way we organize everything in the store.” You say, lightheartedly complaining. He knows you do. He knows because he’s known you for nearly a decade. The two of you have grown up together. You made this same complaint sprawled out on the couch in his apartment.

When he doesn’t reply, you look down to see if something’s the matter, only to do it too quickly that you find yourself losing your balance. Before you can come crashing to the floor, Atsumu is quick to catch you, and you pretend that his protective embrace isn’t comforting. You pretend not to notice that he’s wearing the cologne you bought him for Christmas last year, and you continue to pretend that you don’t miss him at all, that you don’t still love him.

And for a second, the two of you both pretend that you’re still with each other. That it’s perfectly okay to savor this intimate moment, that his arms wrapped around your body right now isn’t awkward in the slightest. He’s staring at you with a sort of starstruck, boylike wonder, and it’s so familiar, so sweet, because it’s the way he always used to look at you. His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something, and—

The loud ring! interrupts whatever moment the two of you are sharing, and you nearly jump out of his arms. You hear the distinct footsteps of another student, and you adjust your shirt before remembering where the two of you are — what the two of you are. Not a couple. Barely even friends. Just a bookstore employee and a student that needs a book. That’s all the two of you are allowed to be.

“I should probably go check up front and make sure they don’t need any help.” You tell him, biting down on your lip. “Anyway, did you need anything else, or would you like me to check you out right now?”

He blinks a few times, as if still in a daze. “Uh, yeah, sure.” The tips of his ears are flushed a light pink. “Y-yeah, I’m done here.”

The two of you practically race each other to the front of the store, and you step behind the counter to scan his workbook. He drums his fingers, looking around the store. When he’s nervous, he likes to be moving. You know this.

Just looking for an excuse to use his hands, Atsumu mindlessly picks a pack of gum off a nearby rack and slides it towards you so you can also scan it. You know you shouldn’t say it. You know it’s supposed to be a clean break. Instead, you tell him,

“Actually, if you want, I have the fruit variety flavor.”

“Huh?” This catches his attention.

You reach into one of the boxes that have just been shipped to the store, rummaging through a tiny one before revealing a shiny, new package of gum, this one advertising all the flavors based on tropical fruits. “Would you rather have this one?”

“Oh, yeah!” As if truly forgetting what the two of you actually are (exes, strangers with too much history, two people still pretending like they’re not in love), his eyes light up. “How did you kno—” He doesn’t finish the question. He knows the answer to the question.

You’re quick to finish ringing him up, the “polite strangers” illusion being completely shattered. It’s obvious, really, that there are always going to be parts of Atsumu that still live deep inside of you. You can only hope that this isn’t the case for him.

You hand him the bag, and when he grabs it from you, your fingers just barely graze each other’s. Atsumu is scared — scared that this might be the last time he ever feels your touch.

And because you’re a glutton for punishment, you find yourself telling him,

“Don’t be a stranger.”

You can’t tell who’s more devastated: you or him.

#atsumu miya x reader #miya x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #hq angst #one shot #drabble #imagine #haikyuu fanfiction #wttcsms writing warmups #this fic is so taylor coded btw #'please don't ever become a stranger's whose laugh i could recognize anywhere'#< that's literally reader n atsumu rn #wanted to leave it vague but #reader breaks up w atsumu bc they're both going in diff directions in life and she doesn't want to 'hold him back'#EVEN THOUGH ATSUMU WOULD REARRANGE HIS WHOLE LIFE FOR HER AND FOLLOW HER ANYWHERE #but she wants him to do whatever HE wants

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easy-revenge · 1 year

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Hii

So many people are calling Himeno a groomer and pedophile. What are your thoughts?

hellooo

oof.

ive seen the hate and slander for himeno on all platforms first hand. let me get some things out of the way first:

i do not defend himeno, nor her actions regarding denji. there is no defending that. it is what it is.

i can speak more on what ppl target her for though, bc i think its interesting.

(DISCLAIMER: opinions, in this case mine. no one has to agree with me. i have a lot to say but if you're not willing to listen and don't care about my pov, kindly move past this post. thank u)

the vast majority of ppl hating her that ive seen and/or interacted with online always find a way to get aki involved into the conversation. that's bullshit and i wanna speak on it before i touch on anything else.

aki is around 22 years old.

there is a tiktok here from one of my fav creators breaking that one down since a lot of ppl misread his introduction scene and thought he was 19:

with that said and done, there is nothing weird about aki and himeno whatsoever (ive seen ppl hate her for getting him into smoking which, ig fair, but lets be real for a sec and realize that even not knowing the spoilers, its pretty safe to assume that lung cancer is not what's gonna take them out). aki was around 19 when they met, which makes him a minor, but there was no hints whatsoever about himeno liking him until later on.

she didn't "watch him grow up" or "groom" him. she is in love with him in the present, when they are both of age. she knows aki has feelings for makima and doesn't cross any boundaries as we see both her and aki are comfortable being close with each other and initiating contact.

with the aki bullshit done, let's go back to the real thing: denji.

again, what himeno did to denji is inexcusable. there is no way around it. the fact that she was drunk doesn't serve as an excuse bc she still very much is the adult in the room and should've been more responsible.

i want to however talk about the terminology.

groomer.

a groomer is someone who builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

^ this is copy pasted from a dictionary. ring a bell? yes, that's literally makima.

himeno on the other hand did none of those things to denji. her offering him a kiss was more of a joke than anything else (plus she didn't know he was 16 back then) and she never had an ulterior motive for getting close to him.

im actually fairly certain that ppl call her a groomer more regarding aki than denji bc aki is the one she's known for a longer time and has had an effect on. i won't go back into this. utter bullshit. aki is not a child and himeno is not manipulating him. next.

the pedophile allegation is a bit of a rougher one to talk about. himeno initiated this playful flirting with denji at the start of the eternity devil arc, not knowing his age. she said explicitly right after that she "loves teasing boys" which implies that it was more a joke than anything else and considering that we proceed to get numerous flashbacks that let us know how deep her relationship with aki is and how genuine her feelings for him are, we can safely assume she does not give a fuck about denji.

the actual act that brought on the "pedophile" term happens when she is drunk. this, again, does not excuse her but i think can speak volumes about her state of mind. we know she gets extra flirty when she drinks and by the time the kiss happens she's tried to outdrink makima which means she's literally hammered. she is also drunk, significantly less but still, when she finds out denji's age. we know she is present enough for that info bc she remembers it the next morning when she brings it up, but again i dont think processing and comprehending information works just as well when you're half a dozen draft beers in. i dont have something more solid to say about this besides: she was really drunk and made some really bad choices bc she is irresponsible, flawed and generally messy as a person.

i dont feel comfortable calling her a pedophile. it doesn't ring that true to me. i dont think she is genuinely attracted to denji or would want to have sex with him while sober.

she knows it was wrong the next morning and she brings it up. that also shows that sober and with a clear mind she doesn't feel the same way.

the act itself is still horrible and inexcusable, but i think her thought process matters when it comes to assigning terms to her.

at the end of the day, i cant fight the ppl who do call her a pedophile. she did in fact attempt to have a sexual encounter with a minor. end of story. i mostly went into depth about this to talk about the aki thing bc it keeps popping up.

as for me, i choose to not erase her entire character over that one scene and reduce her to what ppl see her as. her arc is very well-written. SHE is very well-written. i keep recycling my words from my other posts but i think she is a perfect reflection of the universe she is in. we know she drinks and numbs everything out. we know the kind of dependency she has when it comes to aki and how it can cloud her judgment. she is very messy as i said and fundamentally flawed. but i loved seeing a broken character.

in a series like csm where denji can get cut in half and get back up to fight, its important for me to have characters like her to make u rly feel the impact of living in a world like this.

also the easy revenge storyline was dope as shit.

that's all about my thoughts on this, ive beem wanting to articulate them for a while, thank u for giving me the chance !!

#answered #chainsaw man #himeno chainsaw man #chainsaw man anime #himeno #aki hayakawa #akimeno #anime #manga #chainsaw man ask

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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I’ve never really recognized it as “religious trauma”, but I’m nodding along to ur list. It’s just kinda stuff that happened. Except for the few things that grown me was kinda at like ‘that seems a little bad actually-‘

I remember being 7 and first thinking what if God isn’t real as I was trying to sleep. So it’s like midnight and I’ve just had this world breaking thought that immediately had me spiraling down two trains of thought: Im going to hell for thinking that, and, what if he isn’t what the fuck. So of course I’m freaked out and I’m pretty sure child me needed a fucking hug or some assurance or something, so I went to my parents room, which woke up my mom. At which point I realize, I can’t tell them my actual problem because it was a thought I was ashamed of having, and I didn’t want to run the risk of getting in trouble for some nebulous comfort that was frankly unfathomable cus my parents suck. So I just said felt sick, and took “sorry” my mam gave me as comfort enough (which in hindsight is not a great response to that), and just had to go back to bed with all that. That shit stuck with me. I remember at Sunday school, maybe months or a year later, when one of the teachers said doubt was put in our minds by the devil, I was so fucking relieved.

And there’s the fact that I didn’t know other religions were a thing. I didn’t know there were other blends of Christianity. I lived in a small town and I just had never been touched by that concept until I moved at 11, and one of our religious education modules was on Judaism. Everyone else was just learning customs and calendar stuff, and I was having a whole epiphany. I was so confused until halfway into the lesson, and I realized they were talking about not being catholic. I literally searched the library for a book that would explain this arcane concept. And it was just such a mind blowing experience. I was couldn’t comprehend why no one had ever mentioned other religions if there were so many. And how did it make any sense that there were so many. The differences aren’t subtle. Point is, it was a whole thing.

If I hadn’t moved I would have been made to do my confirmation that school year. And that’s not okay! The whole point of that sacrament is that you’re choosing Christianity, like your old enough and conscious enough to make that choice. Adult in the eyes of the church and all that. Baptism but leveled up. But they make children do it. Unrelated, but when I first learnt about it I was 8, and there was a girl in my class that never had to religion with us. Which was the weirdest thing to me at the time, because sure there were people that didn’t have to do Irish or English, because they had different first languages. But religion? I always found that so weird. But she literally just. Wasn’t catholic. And I just couldn’t conceptualize that. It didn’t occur to me that could be an option.

Jesus, raising kids with a religion is brainwashing of the highest order and no one can change my mind on that. Sorry for rambling at u, that post just made me think.

my girlfriend said this exact same thing when i was forced to be confirmed. said it didnt count but tbh that feels like a cop out. like its something ive been forced to do, like a spiritual violation or something, it still happened. but, eh, whatever

Jesus, raising kids with a religion is brainwashing of the highest order and no one can change my mind on that.

not sure i agree with you here, but i can agree that a lot of the ways kids are raised within Christianity is cult-ish and brainwash-y and bad.

#nnstuff #ask #christianity tw

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scourgethewhorehog · 1 year

Text

... no serious though how do you have a comic with so much daddy issues and never touch on generational trauma and the disconnect between pre and post war knothole? its very reflective of the people behind it, sure, and i dont mean that in a judgey way- i understand that many experiences in my life have made my view of it very different than the average audience/writer and that like me trying not to put it in a way that sounds too much like "we live in a society" but like, ill take that risk to say that so much of sonics asshole moments can be explained by the inability to cope w/ everyone suddenly having parents! a government that isnt just Evil where the situation is more complex bc its his girlfriend/ex gf but still best friends dad who is still doing fucked up things but he cant just go beserk and not just that, giving into their expectations. sallys father is DIFFICULT. he does many fucked up and questionable things that tbh even the narrative doesnt condemn sufficently for my liking. he tries to segregate roboticized mobians, he tries to suppress a democracy, that mind you, was proposed PEACEFULLY.

sonic being kind of a dick and a brat can be easily explained by the fact that he was living in the woods with his lost boys and everything was as simple as beating robotniks ass and now suddenly hes being thrust into a political landscape that hes right in the middle of because his childhood friend had to be the fucking princess! and his whole world has changed drastically, everyone is very happy about it too! its suppose to be a good thing but years of his life his problems were different. and then you add on the fact he missed an ENTIRE YEAR of his friends existing and is displaced and alienated because of this, he is a year behind everyone adjusting to the drastic changes, and THEN he deals with MORE bullshit. sonic is allowed to be a little fucking stupid and rude hes 15 and he thought the world was just going to be him and his friends as usual together for the rest of their lives and he cant even be upset it all got turned upside down because technically this means everything is okay now, except it isnt because theres new problems. this is also why the 25 years later plot pisses me off once again and im so glad its another universe because the idea that they just would repeat the whole cycle again, sonic would just become complacent with everything, and just kinda?? settled down??? his entire coping mechanism is being a war weapon and u think he just going to get married be king be okay with everything and be normal????

#archie sonic posting

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toinfinitywinning · 4 months

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confident about confidence & not confident that makes sense.

*real Quick. This (G)entry might make ur head spin. Could also Title : what you think no one knew. U tried it.

I wont ask for a raise of hands. Everyone deals with it. There’s no solution, no answer. Experience & being a dumbass——>Guidance and wisdom. There are many reasons I bring up confidence. One, it’s one of those words that’s not a word …it is a State of being. you just kind of don’t know where to place it b/c well, you’re not confident of where to land w/ it and even if you were you’d be like just leave it bc i don’t have time for this. to debate confidence v confidence? again Dog-ear the page or burn it bc im not even confident about THAT. Then once and only if it’s (the whole world of confidence) placed hyper-questioning kicks in: is that where it should be? Then… be and stay? Also am I losing it? I’m not confident about that but maybe. That’s always on the agenda you never agreed to and I AM confident about that i think.

If there is one constant in My Life it’s been My back n forth relationship with confidence. I have this thought daily, truly. I’ll say to myself ok yea I’m cute…

[insert any other compliment you give yourself or even receive by others only b/c you’re actually insecure— and just like the fact you’re still sick from being healthy (Me) it doesn’t make sense so bc it doesn’t make sense just I guess get over it and carry on]

…but R u cute enough to actually be happy and okay about that or do you want to change something? Take another chiseled mirror picture flexing? And u never went to a trainer? Feel better now? But I only got 3 likes. So idk.

Er No i think I’ve figured it out. Just dont eat. Exercise 2-4 hrs a day. Weights. 100 Push-up’s. 100 Calf raises. Repeat. Twice a Day if ya can. Anything to find confidence in the material. Find Pride. Only Pride you’re good at tho is the lgbtq spectrum and recently are glad it’s a spectrum since u have no idea where you fall into it anymore bc you’re not confident and it’s completely irrelevant b/c I can live between the letters+ the rest of my Life— that’s fine. Any of which could be foreshadowing of any category of Illness to come. But yea Now that you’re sick…you gotta trash your other Pride AGAIN b/c you can’t do anything without help.

10, 9, 8…my Tourette’s R throttled.

Then lately, aka the past 2 years—I can make the cute comment, i like my sun freckles and My eyes. My baby hairs when i wear a hat backwards. My smile. Just dont smile where you look fat or have a dbl chin bc you worked too hard to get all that weight off and how would that look if you just got fat again? Pitiful and weak and a fraud. Going back on your word b/c anything I declare Online is binding. So just Show some of your body in pics but not all so people dont think youre trying NOT to be totally honest with internet fame but so you still look confident. but as for doing anything about it…physically can’t now b/c trying to get better is not a good idea bc of POTS and Pppunishment for trying to be in shape but oh when u tried to be in shape never was not-not punishment. Then what…back to no confidence. Felt like My Face is cute but _______ oh, ill still think that later. Confident about that. Forget about iiit. Post it.

Then all the sudden youre not just fighting with yourself. there’s the whole social Media thing also including the “felt cute, might _____ later.” What R we doing later (?!) LOL. We say Shit that doesn’t make sense at all. (English still deemed the hardest language to learn b/c we have three versions of the same thing). Who decided why ppl need to know what we’re doing later if we are cute? LOL, Well then, I’m typically the later. I think. B/c if I even did feel cute I didn’t have enough confidence to say it, yea? Even if I was?

TRAP

This goes back to My eating Disorder(s)—which, is technically a fantastic eerily precluding example of the back and forth weight and confidence issues I’ve always had on and off. Ok so weight, up and down. Confidence obviously plays along. Self worth in that scale- turn the lights off. Can’t see your bones anymore, I’m doing something wrong. I’m healthier but I also have Long COVID-19? I lost all this weight and im fainting? Oh and science does back up that the reason u were so susceptible to getting sick is bc you got healthy! Your body was so assaulted it kicked into overdrive to help you but did a 180 gainer instead of the whole 360. So u Quit smoking. stopped drinking, et. Working on an eating disorder mixed of anorexia and exercise bulimia bc you used to be morbidly obese and lost 150 lbs and dammit you’re gonna let ppl know it for confidence’s sake. Do. Not. Waiver. Social Media is holding us all hostage and accountable.

That’s weak, Gentry. B/c if it’s on the Internet it’s REAL and it’s permanent. Keep it up. Don’t think about it too much.

Back to my body being so healthy it gets sick. The most laughable backwards bull shiggity I’ve ever been a part of. My Pleasure. Again, body got So healthy in fact, the health takes form and wants to protect you so badly that it turns turbo, fast, furious and wants to heal you SO fast and so well, well, it’s bad. And, AND, you cant do anything about that trust me your body is confident in that. Oh and also wait even tho u did follow all the covid safety rules half of America made fun of that is also irrelevant. Why? I’m confident the answer is bc What why? LOL. This gets Good, gets better. Need 2 years to explain. So book it in advance.

Speed ‘round to tie all the above mess? not confident I can do that with this entry. Can’t speed through any of this type Schitt in a few words. Forget a proofread.

Engine sputters. Then stops even sputtering. And pls stop using that word.

Pretty confident I can’t go anywhere now!

See now? Ofc you don’t.

Truly it was the beginning of the End. I’m confident about that. I do thank God for that tho. Not that this needed to happen but something needed to distract Me from myself and its prison only I could have built. Go ahead and add that pressure to your Tab too.

Me thinks i do. I sound Manic. And steroids influenced.

PS: if you take anything from this—these strategies of extremes to get extremes don’t work. They’re temporary. It’s more your mind than your body. They’re not going to make you happy everlasting.even Snow White got F’d temporarily and she was not even cute. There’s a shallowness to the extremes intoxication but unless like an Addiction you’re ready to Face and admit it honestly healing cannot Begin. TIME is on your side and most of the time you’d prefer it the other Way then the other Way. So This “advice”— or call it what you want— doesn’t just apply to confidence and the extremes we Will take so you CAN be all about you you you. Where is the line btw confidence Health and cockiness and a titch narcissism? The obsession—It Will leave you empty.

I just read the above and thank goodness I didn’t handwrite it b/c then you’d really have no chance of deciphering any part of it! Even so you may have to learn the hard Way like most of us. Something I’ll never understand but can look at somebody and know they’ve been there too.

Just do you. Don’t try so hard. You’ll be so tired. But just be present. That’s gonna bring joy. Not a scale. Not a selfie. What do YOU want. Trust my confidence on this at least. Ya can’t beat it. Truly is what is at your Core. What do people think first? I’m still unsure I want to know that anyway! Being yourself is terrifying. WHYYY?!

I need a scribe.

Don’t ask Me ;)

Be blessed.

Xx, g3

#Confidence #selfesteem #why #scared

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quadruple-a-battery-under-ur-bed · 4 months

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💭 ⛪️✨️

For ask game!

💭 Some character headcanons

ok so rufus is like 100% gay like ik hes mlm thats canon bc vincent but i dont think his sexuality is ever mentioned lmaoo so like + he would be a fan of like dua lipa n shit but like hide it so much and act like he listens to acdc and like clive is the only one who doesnt realise his music taste tbh

farah is defos like omni/pan romantic and greysexual + she defos checked ao3 n tumblr to see if there was rpf about her. she definitley wasnt going to read it. why do u ask

gary is transfem bc i said so rn (im bsing these hcs on the spot based on vibes ima be real) and defos experimented w dudes in like pallamistus equivelent to collage/uni and still fucks em sometimes so hes like hetroromantic/bisexual w preference for women also he learnt how to make coloured metal and then made pride flag swords (i dont think pallamistus would have many pride flags but i think there would maybe be a rainbow pride one + jason showed ppl pride flags from earth and started making it a bit of a thing by accident

⛪ Favorite deity

knowledge or healer r my faves bc like knowledge as a deity their domain speaks to me like yesssss facts n shit and then healer as a fuckin person is so cool like they use i belive its he/they or he/it since jason refers to them w they/them or it/its at some point idk which but like i just find em v v interesting i love em also death is such a cool goddess bc like theyre not a bad deity like other similar ones like pain and trickery n stuff which i just like symbolically like "death is not unnatural it is a force of good just like life"

i do have a bit of beef w the whole evil gods being purged out bc like mortals doing that like sure ig (but also like yall r piss scared of a god but u wanna kill em and yall have the balls to do that damn) but like the fact that ALL OTHER GODS ACTIVLEY HUNT THEM is a bit like why? yall r litteralyl forces of nature personified why are these ones bad dumbass why is pain exterminated why is trickery frowned upon WHY IS DISGUISE A BAD GOD????? and then FUCKING PURITY WHO IS TRYING TO DESTORY THE WHOLE WORLD TO BE TAKEN OVER JUST IS NEVER FLAGGED AS AN EVIL GOD??? like yes the gods know its decipt and cant say shit but like surley theres a god who that is within their purview to speak about??? like truth or some shit can reveal lies or smthn

damn thats another rant abt some worldbuildy thinks (im working up the post rn idk y)

✨ Coolest power (essence or otherwise)

ok so i think skill books r super super cool and also masivley underused like wdym theres fucking skill books and noone uses them like sure u need a whole new power to use em but like just make a ritual like cmon theres prolly a ritual for every cool ass essence ability and like jasons power that absorbs essences n awakening stones also gives him the skill book one like they r absolutley linked JUST FUCKIN RITUAL THIS SHIT UP

FREE KNOWLEDGE

HOW HAS NOONE MADE A RITUAL FOR THIS YET

oh also on the topic: knowledge prolly has a shit ton of skill books on like everything why dont they make skill books for basic skills like reading and writing and simple maths and do free rituals for kids to bypass the whole years long education system that fucks up kids mental states later on (the mental health but is more high school but still) like yes theres prolly a min age like essences n shit but like. just wait?? cmon its like fifteen years CMON oh also speaking of the min age is that like a last minute puberty thing or is it like a second magic puberty also surley it would be like "ur defos gettin fucked up" -> "prolly gettin fucked up" -> "maybe gettin fucked up" -> "no fuckedupedness now :3" (like normal)

soz that last one was a worldbuilding rant abt skill books goddamn i didnt know i had that in me wow

#:0 someone spoke #question-of-violence #hwfwm #he who fights with monsters #my autism is popping off today goddamn

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literalite · 1 year

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gonna list all my story ideas bcos i feel like it 🤷‍♂️

brylants gen 4- ive completely wiped the entire brylant legacy from my blog (much to my regret) but they were the first sims i EVER made in 2018 and the first family i played with so u can imagine how they looked 😭 anyway it was a bunch of stuff about being touched by death the main characters name was lazarus he was cool. i actually cannibalised a lot of the planned ideas for dgwicf 🤭

lines to the sea- dont even ask it was gonna be some gay coming of age shit 😭✋️ i rlly liked the mcs names tho... carlyle and heaven

still dead- post apocalyptic zombie stuff, the main characters were this mid twenties girl and a mute kid 🤷‍♂️ it was gonna be mostly told in flashbacks i cancelled it after like 4 posts but u can see the remains on my blog if ur good at searching

don't go where i can't follow- the main story of this blog my child is three years old in april 🤓 and im still in part one... im trying to make myself ok with the fact that its gonna be a veryyyy long project. the journey has been worth it even tho its not as beloved as the next entry to the list

meet me in the woods- the people's favourite HDKSJKSJSL the only story ive ever completed. the amount of people who dmed me bcos they cried 😭😭 i rlly value that... i really wanna redo it tho!! make it even more heartbreaking 🤪 but after dgwicf is over 🤞

kiss me goodbye- i still think this is a rlly good idea but i might revisit in like written out form instead of a sims story. it wasnt gonna be very visually appealing for my standards to be honest and ive always wanted to actually. write a novel so... maybe for later

the point of this was theyre not always gonna be winners and ur storytelling process is pretty much guaranteed to not be cleancut and linear 🤷‍♂️ dont feel bad about it! have as much fun as u can bcos thats what its for

#seph.txt

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cloudjumpervalka · 10 months

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ill elaborate on this over the day i think but im very mixed on what i think about the w.i.t.c.h. reboot but uh. its mostly negative

first off, this is partially coming from a place of im just a fan of the comic and already didnt care for the tv show.

i mean... i liked the show as a kid because it was what got me into the series, but once i picked up the comics i knew it had my heart and it couldnt compare. (its very similar to how i felt about fma03 > going into the manga after)

but anyway, i think the reboot is of all things, just disney being lazy in making new ips of course. if theyre doing a full rework of the plot, characters, and costumes, why not just make a new magical girl comic? oh because of the obvious theyve been testing the popularity of the comic by rereleasing it over the past couple years, and now the ip is recognized enough again that they can use it to their advantage. definitely in the wake of winx getting their reboot (which i also think is unnecessary but i think the circumstances may have been different. which leads me to..)

i worry about what theyre going to do with the story in general. if its anything like the later half of the comic (ie new power onward) iiiiiii dont know if we need that. i personally dont think that was the strongest era of the story. it, unsurprisingly, came off as an attempt to haha... copy the winx by doing power upgrades and becoming even more glittery and pink and what i would call a typical "girls piece of media"

ofc side note nothing bad with that but again leading into another point

heh.. the treatment of the original team. its early and i dont quite remember all of the details but i do know that they were done dirty. I know for sure it involved barbucci and canepa, unsure if gnone was involved as well, but disney took that series from them. as far as i know, that series was their baby and disney plucked it apart into something they never intended it to be. barbucci and canepa haved regularly talked about their dislike of disney and their personal beef with them as a direct result of what happened with w.i.t.c.h.

it was their dark fantasy series that disney wanted to girlie-pop-ify to most likely have it compete with winx directly. completely going against what the team envisioned leading to their ? departure from disney. im personally not quite sure if they quit on their own or if disney fired them to make room for a more cooperative team but Still. the point still stands: disney is shitty in this situation

so just from the inital description and seeing will's transformed resign, it looks like... it will most likely go in the direction of being a direct winx competitor again and will continue to take the story in a completely different direction than it was originally intended to be. some part of me hopes tho that because will looks like an edgy hot topic kid that maaaaaybe theyll have some darker tone to it but uh.... again disneys reputation makes me think that wont happen lmao

if they really cared enough they would literally be like sorry og team, here do what u wanted. because uh. at least barbucci and canepa still regulary post about w.i.t.c.h. and share fanart and stuff so theyre still interested imo (again i havent followed up with gnone over the years but im sure she'd be on board)

i reaaaaally want to know if they even knew their series was gonna be rebooted like this or i guess however it ends up being. god i would do anything to read the nda they signed when splitting with disney.

but eh i also hope its good just for the sake it wooooould be cool to have new w.i.t.c.h. content (again sad its not like a comic accurate tv adaptation or like... the og teams work) buuuuuut this is suuuuch a comfort series to me so i wanna hope for the best

my nostalgia is probably ruining it for me and the fact ill already rant about how i hate the cartoon adaptation now dkdbksbf but eh i wanted to just dump my thoughts before starting my work day

#sorry if this shows up in the tags #dont read unless ur a hater jk jk jk #im the number 1 witch fan #i made this whole post back when the winx netflix dropped and people wanted a witch reboot #and i was like uh. get barbucci and canepa on the phone and thats the only correct way to do it #also me fksbdkdbf i would make a great witch reboot #LITERALLY MY WHOLE Floretwitch brand is bc im love witches bc of this series #jfjdjfnf theyre guardians but u get it #witchrebootthoughts

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cursezoroark · 4 months

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playing desolation, and by the time I post this I will have Caught up to Desolation! This is my own opinion and review on the game! For the record I've only played Rejuv and now Desolation of the entire series. In terms of pokemon fangames i have played ep 1 of Flux , Gaia, and Unbound. Disclaimer and TLDR: the game is Very good as I expected I had fun :] . The devs worked their ass off and the fact this game is free and has this much shown effort is so awesome. when ep 7 comes out i Will be reviewing once again. It wont be for more than a year though given the recent dev update. either way!

Pros:

I love the spritework sort of thing for the dialogue, when important characters come on. It's very pretty!

the credits system is gen p interesting. motivator for getting exclusive pokemon and items and even the capsules + mints, which imo is much better than the AP system that was in rejuv. its more easier to achieve and more incentive.

also HELL YEAH sidequests! I loved the tidbits of main lore u get from certain ones, and certain choices. Inch resting!

The difficulty still makes me work Hard to think but doesn't kill me with a bajillion reset and planning so that's all fair and good 👍 the only one I had to rlly drive home for was Jarred. Jesus fucking Christ. i had valerie flashbacks from rejuv but its worse cause it was a DOUBLE BATTLE.

the SPARKLES. lifesaver for me who loves the shiny sprite reworks in this game. i have a beautiful shiny greninja, umbreon, hydreigon, and vikavolt. Vikavolt is my favorite shiny i love whoever reworked that. Jade is so so pretty :]

the music is KILLER. Vs Shiv and Vs Nova is Good. Very Good. honestly the ost choices here rock. one of the best ost selections i enjoyed it very much.

interesting story! I can sort of peel bits of it off and it'll probably come back later to haunt me. Act 3 REALLY ramps up stuff so it did sweep a good amount of confusion I’ve had since the beginning. Act 3 was great. I miss Tristan. Nova's character is Great when it reaches a certain plot point.

I love the rangers bases, and the sidequest lore does build up nicely on the side. its starting to interfere with the main story too which hmmmmmmm hm hm hm. i will wonder about that.

Criticisms/ personal nitpicks:

i mentioned this above but i wish the ui for sidequests was a bit more clear. Like location wise, where to go, and all that. Icons above characters would rlly help me distinguish things.also PLEASE add flashing settings and shaking sets automatically to the options board pls pls pls.

I hope there will be more featured fields in the future. I did mention this was the more lax difficulty ive been through involving fields, and i watched playthroughs of reborn and played rejuv myself. (idk if theres more games with the field system but do let me know its literally one of my fav things). Like it went from oh God to oh ok to hmm to Oh God like a cycle. Though I think that’s just on my team balancing rlly

Please..... more TM versatility. While it does allow me to get creative with my team choices, it also limits what I can actually do. My TM pool is so low and i want to get creative so bad :']]]. The TM shop at Sunshell was a huge improvement though. very stingy though at lvl 65-70s though.

i Do Not like the maps for specifically silver forest and blackview. Its either very cluttering and makes me walk in Direct Circles, or leaves me very lost when im searching for a specific area. I do get the "open area" aspect of Silver mountain though, and it was easier once I got all the bridges down but still yk? but i literally couldn't find the move relearner Anywhere in blackview. it took me forever.

I wish i had more time to spend with some of the characters (Scarlett particularly) so i could rlly grow attached. I do understand that these are mostly main plot points blasting off from each other, but i just wish I could have had more interactions with the characters? More funny dialogue, more MC options to talk and affect relationship values, yk? I do anticipate an arc for a particular someone coming up though. so we'll see. the plot did do a rlly good job at the ceilia leaders though I adore All of them.

some of the language i winced at. idk if its just me so ill leave this one in the air. i dont know how to feel because im muddled.

In a way, because the plot blasts off one another, the room for me to acknowledge the changes in characters or their relationship between each other was a bit small. Like Connor and Scarlett, I think I only got like two cutscenes or tidbits of their entire growing friendship, so it didn't rlly hit me when The Scene Happened. Either way I do like themboth thumbs up.

SPOILERS THOUGHTS DO NOT READ IF U HAVENT PLAYED OR DO NOT WANT TO KNOW:

I ADORE Cecilia’s leaders. I’ve seen complaints how we seem to be Stuck There for some time and. Yeah I can sorta agree with that. Despite being Rlly Huge it also makes me Yearn for the Routes yk? either I love them all I Adore them dearly. Garrett is my favorite he got to me. Reeve and Rosetta and Aaron are all so very charming in their dynamics and gym leader squabbles.

Waldenhall is a Great Character in his introduction holy shit what an impact this guy had. also artem's sprite made me laugh so hard because their (idk their gender) portrait is just staring straight at the camera whats up w that.

Conclusion:

Should you play this game? YES. its quality is amazing, the artwork is insane, the gameplay is so good for pokemon fans who enjoy a good challenge, and want to get into some existential crises. In general, this series is So Far the easiest in the reborn deso rejuv trio. but it doesn't by far make it bad, or a cakewalk for players. Have a good ol time with it. My criticisms are my own nitpicks, but i rlly admire how much effort devs put into their fangames, by semblance of story, custom art, custom maps, etc. appreciate them lots and lots more. This game in particular weighs your choices a lot more, so you rlly have to snoop around for a particular result that you want. all in all lots of good fun!

Hope to review this again in Ep 7! and here's a goodbye from my Current Team :]

#talk #jj reviews #pokemon desolation

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actualbird · 2 years

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First of all! Hello, Hello!!! Hope you're doing well!

Regarding your - Artem has the oldest daughter vibes - post. HE'S TRANS YOUR HONOUR!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! 😂❤️

But in all seriousness, I gave it some thought and out of all of them, Artem being trans would make the most sense? Just the way he is as a person? You know? *Vaguely gestures with my hands*. One thing that stood out to me was how touched starved and touch averse he seemed? I know it's contradictory but as much as I remember, he was always hesitant to touch Rosa and would be an absolute mess when touched by her?

So what if, it's because he doesn't want to make others uncomfortable with his touch, especially if it's a woman? (And especially if he likes that woman). Because he was made uncomfortable by others, in this case mostly men, when he was younger? I've noticed that most men are far more likely to just casually touch women? Even if the touch isn't sexual/romantic in nature? Like a brush of a hand here, holding a woman's waist while you're passing her in a tight space? Like, you wouldn't do that to a man, so... Artem is just very aware? Like, aware too much, to a point where he can never relax among others?

I might be projecting too much! So please ignore this if you don't agree! It's just something I noticed! Me and my trans friend, we talked about something similar recently - noticed that he would be a bit hesitant to be more physically affectionate with me and we had a long conversation about it!

And... I haven't touched the game in about half a year! 😅 I still love the game! I just "play" it vicariously through you! 😂 So there might have been more things revealed about Artem I'm not aware of!

Please take care! ❤️

- The Hibiscus anon! 🌺 I'M NOT DEAD! 😂

irt despite being a man, artem is eldest daughter all girls catholic school student vibes

oh my gosh, HIBISCUS!! HI HI :DDD!! it's awesome to hear from u again and i hope ur doing well!!!

while i am in no way an artem expert (thats sam) and am pretty behind on his cards, i still shake ur hand so much cuz UR SO RIGHT.

like, listen. at this point ive got a schrondinger's headcanon where certain members of the nxx team or the ENTIRE team is simultaneously not trans or definitely trans/experiencing gender in a non-cis way. yes they are. all the time. but only when it sparks joy in me. also all the time. do u understand, i understand. still, i deffo understand and adore why artem also gives of trans vibes.

like, so much of artem's extreme carefulness with matters of the heart or even just matters of relating to other people personally, the fact that he goes about this in a meticulous and often overthinking manner because he hasnt done it/gotten the chance to experience it much before is something that resonates a lot with a bunch of queer identities. the fact that he holds a lot of himself and his personality/interests close and not many people know him on a personal level, that also resonates with queer experiences. the fact that certain things that are "obvious" to other people are things that are not as obvious to him, also queer (and also also something i like to interpret as a neurodivergent trait, but thats a whole other ask response). hell, even the notion that artem is doing things "later" than is usually expected (like romance).

all of these things (which i guess can be mushed into the over-arching statement of "over-thinking because we didnt experience the world on the usual timeline many other people experience and thus we have to be extra careful to avoid failure") fit well with a BUNCH of queer experiences, methinks

(source: me. cuz im queer and i like artem)

additionally, i got reminded of this awesome response mariuscomehome wrote about artem viewed from a lesbian lens. i DEFINITELY recommend u read it!!!

//smacks artem like a car im selling. THIS GUY CAN FIT SO MUCH QUEERNESS INTO HIM!!!!!

i think i went off on a tangent here but yeah. ur so right. artem trans vibes too, whether it be for fitting theme/characterization reasons or just cuz headcanons are fun as hell anyway :'D

#i shld not have written this response at 6am cuz i was blearily blinking like 'oh my god i can cite queer theory sources--' and i had to #stop myself. 6am is not the time to be doing anything with any kind of theory sources. zak BEHAVE #hibiscus!anon #asks #and thus continues the saga of ppl 'playing' tot primarily thru my blog jhVKJSHDFS BY FAR THE FUNNIEST WAY TO EXPERIENCE THIS GAME METHINKS

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grippingbeskar · 1 year

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goodbye 2022– a love letter

okay, so i am not one for long, sappy posts. in fact i think i can count on one hand the amount of times i’ve written about personal stuff on this blog, because i wanted it to be a space for me to just escape life and write for the first time.

i just wanted to make this post to say thank-you. i think i have written that word out about 1,000 times since making this account, but it will truely never be enough to express how greatful i am to have this space, and that all of you have been so fucking welcoming and kind to me.

when i started this account nine months ago, i genuinely had no idea what it would turn into. i’d been reading fanfic for most of my life, and the last few years i’ve been obsessed with the punisher and the mandalorian (not much has changed). i’ve always been the type of person to make stories in my head, especially with how much i read, it’s almost like i can’t help it. i also have taken a very big interest in writing recently, so i thought why not have a bit of fun with it and write a few chapters of a story and see where it goes.

my first official post on this account was the first chapter of the element of surprise series, and i remember getting my first few notes, and even a comment, and i nearly jumped out of my skin. every single one since then has been so special, and i still get all giddy and excited when i see someone interacting with my stories. after that i posted my first frank castle story, looking to tomorrow. i was so insecure about it, but at that point i think i had literally 0 followers, so i had NOTHING to lose.

after a few more chapters and frank one shots i started to get a little more inspired, and that is all thanks to the lovely people who cared enough to encourage me. i would have 100% stopped writing if you all hadn’t been so welcoming and amazing, and my life trajectory has seriously changed for the better. not even exaggerating.

now i’m here nine months later. i’ve finished my first series and nearly completed my second, both of which are over 85,000 words in length, which is fucking WILD. i have also written 30ish (im counting my drafts in this lmao) stand alone fics, and did my first ever celebration, writing out a bunch of requests (which i still actually have three or four in my drafts. trust me they are coming i’m just slow pls).

i am just so so greatful to have this space where i have so many encouraging, kind people that share the same interests, and find genuine enjoyment in the shit that i write. i’ll never be able to type out in words how much it means. every time someone reads my fics, i just want them to know how much it means to me. even if you don’t interact (i’d love to reply personally if you do!) i just love that people are reading my writing. so thank you. THANK YOU.

now. i have a few ppl i wanna mention who have made this experience all the more incredible.

@everybirdfellsilent for being my first tumblr friend and my longest. you are so, so incredible, and i genuinely don’t know where i would be if i hadn’t found you on here. thank you for your constant support, editing help, beta reading, screaming about sexy fan art, obi-wan thirsting and everything in between. i appreciate you more than you know and i love u for it.

@buckymcbuckbarnes BITCH you know i love you. do i even have to SAY!!!! thank you for everything— you are such a special person to me, and i literally can’t tell u how glad i am to have found you. watch out 2023 bc we have big things COMING. and they will be cumming if you know what i mean. thank you for your incredible playlists and every single fic and tik tok you send me. i love every single one. i love you. we say it all the time and i mean it.

@tea-and-wine for all our chats, even though sometimes they are few and far between, i always appreciate your messages and kind words. i hope you make 2023 your bitch!!

@marvelswh0re for your thirsty frank and matt thoughts and all your kind words. i still think about that convo we had about how frank is receiving a bj. it’s just always in my mind. i need him to **** ** ***. sorry got off track. THANKYOU!!!

@lemon-world1 for being SO lovely, and for all the amazing words you’ve left on my frank series and everything in between. it means so so much to me. i can’t explain it. also congrats for sharing your frank fic, it was incredible and i can’t wait to see what else you have in store!

@castlesnchurches i will never be able to express how much i love reading your comments on my fics. probably one of my fave things ever. you motivate me so much just by being so lovely. thank you thank you. xx

@dinahmadanimybeloved for your amazing messages and supportive words, i hope 2023 is a good one for you xx

@hellskitchenswhore FOR GENERAL KINDNESS!!! thankyou so so much. it means the world ❤️

and to every single person who has interacted, liked or read a fic of mine/ followed along for the journey— and reading this right now!!! i’ll never be able to tell you how happy you have made me. thank you for making a pretty shitty year that much better ❤️

get ready for more fics, more series, and more SEX in 2023. YEHAW.

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rt-lots · 7 months

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Joining in on the Ian and Rammy ask train… 🌂✏️ (and 🍎 specifically for Ian!)

TW for a fair bit of suicide talk!!!

umbrella - i assume this doesnt need an answer for both of them, bcuz they belong 2 the same story. i imagine ian and rammys story being a vidya game, and i guess itd b a psychological horror? which feels like, pretentious to say but the main scaries of the story are how much ians life sucks and he wants 2 die. so... i think itd count. thats all overarching stuff tho... most of ian n rammys time spent together is lightheared, i think. theyre two dudes hanging out and one of them is slowly coming to terms with the fact his suicidal thoughts won. whatever genre that is

pencil - WAHHH it depends a lot of the time... ian and rammy have definitely made a big resurgence in my brain recently (past month) bc im 18 and can post bout em, but also just cuz i love them sooo much and want to chew on them constantly. id say i write abt/draw them pretty frequently tho!! i doodle them on my school work and in notebooks a lot and they have some of the bigger galleries on my toyhouse lawl. i dont write much directly for their universe, but ive typed... many paragraphs to my friends just braindumping the shit i think about them. so, yeah, less often than id like, but theyre up there in my priorities of ocs :3

apple (for ian) - GRAHHHHHHHHHHH u dont know what demons uve unleashed w this. i already twed this post for suicide but im gonna move this part under the cut bc mentioning ians dad specifically ties a lot into the suicide aspect of the story

OKAY SO. ians family consists of his mom, sister, and him. his dad was in the picture when he was a little kid, like early elementary age, but ditched after some time. his relationship with both parents was relatively normal, they definitely couldve done a better job raising him, but they were never intentionally hurtful nor did they scar him at all. (well, correction, his MOM didnt scar him at all)

after ians dad left, though, his side of the family still kept in touch... they gave very flimsy reasonings for his fathers absence, why he couldnt make it to holidays, why he wasnt saying all these things directly, etc. it kept things strained and tense as the family knew things were being kept from them but never got to know why. the last interaction ian ever had w his dads side of the family was on his 18th birthday, where his uncle gifted him a silver handgun with his name carved into the handle. it was a hollow attempt to connect with ian, a display of violent masculinity that ian would later use to try and take his own life.

i dont have it fully figured out what this *means* for ians character, but its something i go insane about. ians only memories of his dad are him doing stereotypical masculine dad things w him, like fishing. maybe he didnt interact w ian ass if he was his child, but if he was his son, and that improper socialization is part of the reason he hates himself- why the gun is what kills him. but... i dunno really. ians social anxiety, addiction, and general collapsing in on himself are cuz of a life time of mental illness that went unchecked until he successfully isolated himself to the point no one *could* care, not just cuz daddy give him gun.

okay! that is NOT what u asked at all but now u know it. hehehe. of course ian and rammys story is a big wip forever so excuse me for any side tangents and/or general plot points w loose ends

but! as for his actual relationships w family (ill include sister since his relationship w mom isnt rlly fleshed out yet):

he and his mom havent spoken in 6 years, nor have he and his sister. he slowly faded out of their lives when he moved away, partly out of a subconscious desire to isolate and partly due to just not having the social confidence or energy to maintain regular communication w his family. his mom is the first person he talks to when he escapes his Puter, and she's his rock in his remaining months of recovery. shes very underdeveloped as a character atm, but what is certain is she tries her hardest to understand her sons struggles and support him, offering to pay for therapy for him. ian loves his mommy lalala

ian and his sister are... dddifferent. ian also had an average relationship w his sister, but shes a lot more upfront with him when it comes to talking about how his 6 year absence effected her than their mom. their mom, while wanting her children to seek help for their respective struggles, doesnt really want to actively talk about those things with them. shes terrified of saying the wrong thing, and it doesnt help that she doesnt even have a clue what *to* say. ians sister, though, isnt afraid to tell him "hey man we fucking missed you. your absence hurt a lot because i didnt have any friends either, and i wish we couldve had eachother. jackass" post main-story they are friendly and hang out. during his time w rammy, ian does talk about his thoughts on his sister before he left, that being that shes a "crazy bitch"... family <3

#walkie talkie #ian #ask game #would u believe me if i told you i missed multiple details i wanted to share here #i typed this for like 45 minutes AHHHH #i keep fucking answering these like totally unrelated to the original question sorry guys #can u tell i love my ocs #tw suicide mention #tw suicide #suicide mention #ask 2 tag also !!

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