#thats new storms havent done that before

[thatskynews]

OK SO. Lore

Krills reside in Wasteland, the place currently experiencing constant cloud cover.

krill were not there before the cloud cover was there.

Krills also reside near the top of Eden Peak.

in-between wasteland and eden lies vault...

so why havent krills spread to vault?

In the crescent oasis, krills are seen in the final quest. when a storm is raging.

ok so. krill have bad eyesight. they kill creatures of light.

but when the krill try to attack something but realize it has the Krill Juice on it (krill repellent) they fly away. Crabs just so happen to produce Krill Juice. on their bodies.

perhaps crabs (their children) get mistaken for light creatures and get attacked, but the krill's antennae detect the pheromones (krill juice) and divert before any harm can be done.

Crabs have shells, their real bodies are exposed in the bottom thats why they pull their legs in when they get attacked but not flipped and also why they hate being flipped

krills have metal exoskeletons and their real bodies are inside and thats why krill are so clink clonk

So krill are adult crabs. but why dont krill exist in the kingdom before wasteland and eden were engulfed in storm?

ITS SIMPLE

crabs can only fully mature DURING A STORM OF THAT SIZE

THE STORM HAS DIED DOWN THATS WHY ALL THE CRABS IN WASTELAND ARENT KRILLS

crabs: forest, valley, wasteland, vault, eden

krill: wasteland, eden

the crabs are everywhere but the krill are only where there was once/ is a great storm

,... if i was a spirit in sky i would be the Crazy Krillologist

putting my answer under read more as it's long -ymir

Crabs are actually have signs of being native to the realms (see: the passive crabs from Sanctuary, that iirc don't shed darkness), and seem to actively be mostly corrupted by darkness (the crabs from the shard events having active darkness on them, leading them to become hyper aggressive and those passive crabs do not attack players).

Crabs are creatures of the dark, but it is likely from the fact they're suppose to show that darkness has always been in the realms and that before what wiped out the spirits it was very peaceful (mostly). Places like Hidden Forest were darkness mining sites, and it likely made many sickly and polluted the areas leading to the rain being worse. The bells used to call the rain away and to call for the rain likely was used to try and control the dangers of this build up, controlling when spirits would have to take cover most likely.

The description of Prairie's Elder pin also pushes at it being an agricultural center for the Realms, as hinted by its landscape as well. It is VERY likely the bells used also pushed away the pollutants from hitting Prairie as heavily (but it still hit the lower regions, seeing Sanctuary's large darkness plants and pollutants.)

Darkness affects Valley less due how high it is, but it still has gotten hit due to how close it is to the center of the factories. Golden Wastelands was where a good majority of the factories were (and mostly off to the side from the main path, but WERE linked and using pipes to move around darkness), and due to this, it had become highly polluted over time leading to the dangers and likely pushing for new solutions to lead away the creatures that were becoming a problem, as well as internal fights. Wastes HEAVILY hints to it being highly dangerous but made mostly to try and protect Vault from harm and protections against enemies (in some old concept art, there's some old details of other things that was planned originally to be some dangers, but most aren't much a concern to consider due to being scrapped). There's more things about vault that makes me curious, mostly the use of HOW the archival systems work likely using a mixture of darkness that reacts to light to produce energy (which we do see in places like the abyss areas iirc and no longer simply concept art). the use of darkness here likely also caused there to have some spills or leeching to allow darkness to affect any creatures inside as well. The Ghost light creatures inside are their own curiosity to me, but not of concern here too either.

but Eden? oh boy.

Eden obviously has architecture of a very important site to the culture of the spirits at least, and it's also very likely used to be a factory of it's own or at least some sort of possible experimental grounds. (there are hints of other things, but ya know, silly lil things :)!) Eventually the eye is shown to have occurred, and is possibly shown to have started to chip off as well.

why did I write down a good summary of the lore linking towards darkness in general?(skipping over some other seasonal stuff mostly) I think the krills can be from multiple things in origins in reality.

Krills are beings that hunt light, and can still be tricked from covering yourself in darkness. The potions of krill repellent likely use darkness to make it look like it would for their vision of crabs, darkness falling off of them. it's likely made to be far more safe for skykids though.

Krills- or dark dragons, could simply be mantas corrupted, whales as well, etc. They could easily be many species put into one. They're dark creatures caused by the pollution of darkness, typically pushed on by darkness taking over an entire area, suggesting that they're an entity of darkness as a whole. They react the same way dark crystals do as well, turning red and hurting light creatures. They're simply seemingly following the dark crystals and how they react. Blue dark crystals are ones that show that they are not longer active or have reached a neutral state (likely the state they were originally mined at and then refined away from), and the skykid statues you can not help on the path at the end of Eden before the Eye's storm have these blue crystals growing on them that no longer react to skykids and you can't revive these two skykids leading to the chance of them being from the mass explosion of energy of the Eye's start.

Storm clouds are a sign of darkness in Sky, its very likely rain from before was less dangerous. Crabs being thrown FROM the shards could be crabs grown from the darkness or originally in that sacred area that ate up the remaining light left over from light creatures going to be reborn, which could be a point of them simply originally being scavengers of sorts like some real crabs.

Krill horns likely do have their own use most likely than possibly being antennae, I believe personally them being mostly for the advantage of being able to still attack their prey: making it difficult for prey to escape from flying over the head due to the krill's head without the horns being in the way. Krills metallic sounds could also be possibly connected to the darkness within them since darkness is far more solid than fluid (darkness creatures typically having sharper edges or entirely like smoke, compared to light creatures having this fluidity to them even when complex like skykids.)

Dark dragons are a curiosity though, given how they're created either way.

-ymir

#( I was here before the lore was down. I have absorbed so much sky lore for so many years. this is fun tho. miss this stuff -ymir) #(I don't remember most of the lore of most seasons after like abyss to be warned. because I am a silly guy who was burning out -ymir) #(If I get any lore asks and stuff further from this. I am gonna scruff it to my own skyblr for simplicity I suppose -ymir) #(because I don't really want to drown this blog in non-news stuff too much. but yeag. sky-poprocks <- there ya go -ymir) #(I probably have some of the lore mixed up as well.. since.. I've been in skyblr for 4 yrs and used be into the lore ideas-ymir)

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 21

“Jax!” Tara called his name in suprise as he gripped her arm and pulled her into an empty waiting room. Jax’s face was like thunder as he slammed the door shut behind them and pulled the blinds closed. “What fucking game are you playing?” He spat at the terrified doctor. “I Dont know what your talking about-” Tara was cut off by Jax’s hand flying out and catching her around the throat, pushing her against the wall. Fear filled her eyes as she saw a different side of her ex lover. This was the side she never thought she would see. The Angry Jax who used to do anything to protect her and their relationship. She only saw the loving Jax who would treat her like she was the most fragile beautiful thing in the world. She felt his hot breath fan across her face as he leaned close to her. “Fucking with my Wife, will bring you nothing but trouble, Dr Knowles. Now i dont know what you are trying to accomplish but let me be clear. You are the past. Delaney is my future. She is carrying my child. My fucking baby. A Legacy Child, that me and every Son from here to Belfast will die to protect. You and me? We had our time and its done. Now in future, when you see my girl, you turn and walk in the other fucking direction. You dont look at her. You dont breathe near her. Me and my family are out of fucking bounds for you. Do you understand?” Tara gasped against his hold as she watched tears fall from his eyes. Words were lost to her, all she could do was nod in agreement. Jax let her go and stepped back as she dropped to the floor. “This is the last time im going to allow you to fuck with my family.We’re Done Tara.” And with that Jax left her in a heap on the cold hospital floor. Storming from the hospital, Jax headed to his moms house. Knocking the door, Jax couldnt explain the relief he felt when Gemma Answered. “Whats happened baby?” That was all it took. Jax burst into sobbs on his moms front door as she wrapped her arms around him for the first time since he was a teenager. There was only one time she had seen him this bad, and its when that little hussy twisted him up and left. Jax spent the night on his moms sofa filling both her and Clay in on what had happened before falling into a restless sleep.

Delaney winced as she opened her eyes. Crying yourself to sleep really does give you a god awful headache. Sliding from under the warmth of her covers she slipped on Jax’s hoodie and made her way down the hall. She really could Murder a coffee but the recent baby news meant she was stuck to a cup of tea instead. She really did not want to risk a damn thing with this pregnancy. Despite what her and Jax are going through, they needed something good and this baby meant a lot to both of them. Jax would be a great Dad, and thats something that she couldnt deny. She hoped he stuck to his word and she would see him Monday, not in the arms of Dr Knowles. Everything yesterday was so hard. Hearing Tara say that shit hurt like hell. Her stepping away gave Jax the freedom and space to choose who he wanted. And even though it was selfish, she wanted him to choose her. To choose their family. “Wow, you really havent changed a bit.” The voice made Delaney drop her mug of tea. No. Why. How. 

Turning around slowly, Delaney made eye contact with Alex. There he was, in the flesh, sat at her and Jax’s kitchen Table. A sinister grin spread across his face as Delaney spotted the gun in his hand. “Miss me Sweetie?”

#sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine #Jax Teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #Jax Teller x Female Reader #jax teller x oc #jax teller fanfiction

[beaversatemygrandma]

personally starting to worry about the weather. this is very obviously a massive global warming thing just btw. 

Like its snowing in texas and most of the southeast but yet, here in FL, it’s near 90 degrees (87 to be exact and fuckin hot) and pollen is EVERYWHERE (the trees are confused and horny, it just went from 40 to 90 in like 36 hours and theyre going HAM and so are my allergies). There’s such a large warm front down here meeting up with that even bigger cold front and we’ve been in a tornado watch for like three days now.  If you don’t know how bad that is, it’s pretty damn bad. the fronts are literally the reason for these awful storms. 

#ive been keeping an eye on weather info this year because its been one thing thats mildly interesting to me #and ive just noticed how ignored the evidence of global warming is #like theres been so many storms that are vertically across the entirety of the east coast for MONTHS #thats new storms havent done that before #i have some screenshots of radars doing that because the way it looks is just so unnatural #these winter storms are doing nearly the same thing but they're focused mostly on the deep south and texas #like the past two days the storms have literally reached perfectly vertical through texas up to michigan #and im just here in fl waiting for the snowstorm panic to hit here #itll likely be in a week or two but dont count on my bluff here i dont know shit #anyways im hating how the evidence is obvious and theres still people mostly in texas saying that global warming doesnt exist because SNOW #and im just like what the fuck look at the rest of the country #literally just comparing the average weather of texas and fl rn proves things #because literally fifty miles west its snowing and here it feels like fuckin summer #im not excited for the hurricanes that are going to happen this year #last year was already Awful #at least they all just missed fl but still #also why has fl just narrowly avoided every single massive storm from the past year #the hurricanes just went along the coast didnt touch us #now were holding a warm front #not to mention the tornadoes going through this area #ive literally never heard of tornadoes through here but there was literally just a bad one a few miles away from me like last weekend #anyways back to shitposting #and to be honest #fuck the private companies in texas #those thirty people killed from the cold deserved better even if it was texas #but no texas has to have a hard on for monopolies and money and wanting to secede from the country #these people are used to the weather i have rn and have likely never seen snow in their lives #i hope the people i know in louisiana are doing okay ik the snow is there too #and ik they dont get snow either sooo #but at least they have power

[kaz11283]

Yeah. Im currently working on ch 2 of Fire and Ice right now but I just had to get this down and out. It seems as iff my creatvie jucies are flowing in a diffrent direction tonight since I cant sleep a wink I figured I would bless you guys with a little drabble.

Loki Masterlist

After a Mission

The team had been called into the confrence room after the mission for a little debreifing, it was actually just for Tony to chew you and Loki a new ass but what was new? You normally didn't get irritated at him for this, it was just his way of cooping with everything that had happened in the last 48 hours.

Besides the lack of food and sleep the whole team was on edge. You had taken a few cracked ribs and was pretty sure that you had sprang your ankle, Nat had a cut along her cheek and a bullet graze on her side, Thor was nursing a busted lip and limping a little, and Loki had used so much of his magic it was a wonder he wasnt slumped over the table passed out.

No one had made it out unscathed, but the four of you had probably gotten the worst of it.

"This was dumb on your guys part! Y/n what were you thinking going back in there!?" Tony yelled catching you off guard and causing you to flinch ever so slightly. No one else had caught it but Loki who was sitting next to you.

"I was thinking that there was another KID in that building that needed to be saved!"

"You put your group in danger!"

"My group is fully capable of making their own decisions on whether or not to follow me into a building thats about to blow! Don't start your over protective bullshit now."

"He is only being protective of the three of you, darling, he could care less about what happens to me." Loki mumbled beside you.

"What was that Rudolph? Say it louder for the rest of the class." The rest of the team was trying their hardest not to notice what was going on. Steve was slumpped back in his chair massaging between his eyes, Bucky was trying to stare you down with a look that said not tonight, and Clint had his head proped on his crossed arms and sighed deeply.

"I said that you could care less about what was to happen to me to pompous, egotistical asshole. You had any idea what she sacrificed for you or your team you wouldn't be standing here jumping down her throat for actually accomplishing something that you failed to take notice of." Loki said standing up. You grabbed onto his wrist, not trying to stop him from doing anything, just to try to calm him some. He had used to much energy tonight he was going to pass out eventually, you didn't want that to be here.

"Your right I could care less about what happens to you. Your only here because of your brother. All you do is destract everyone around you. Your no good for anyone, much less this team." By the end you and Thor were both standing up yelling at Tony, Steve and Bucky was trying to calm the situation, Nat was yelling for everyone to just shut up, and Clint, you was pretty sure, had fallen asleep.

"Thats IT, I've had enough of this bullshit. I'm leaving-" you started out the door but Tony grabbed onto your arm.

"We're not done. We'll finish this tomorrow after we've had some sleep."

"No Tony I'm leaving the compound and going back to my apartment. I can't take your suffocation any more, the way you put down Loki, degrade him. Hes worked his ass off trying to get into yours and everyone else's good graces and its obviously not working. You all still stare at him when he walks into a room waiting for the other foot to drop, waiting for him to try and take over the world again. I wasn't a part of you when he tried to take over New York but you fail to remember that was a nation wide thing and everyone seen what happened that day. Let's not forget that the Avengers also helped destroy New York. I dont understand why if I can look over that and see that hes trying to change why you all can't. Even Clint, who he brainwashed, is warming up to Loki. Like I said Tony, I'm through with the bullshit. If you ever change your mind send Cap to come for me." You finished yanking your arm out of his grasp and storming off. Loki close behind.

"Your leaving me?" You stopped in your tracks and walked back to him. You had never seen such pain in his eyes before now. You placed your hand on his cheek and leaned up to kiss him.

"No, God no Loki. I never said you couldn't come with me." You smiled up at him and took his hand leading you both back to your room so that you could pack both Loki and your things before leaving the compound.

~~~

ANNOUNCEMENT:

This was just one of those spure of the moments, had to get off my chest, couldnt go to bed without putting this out there type deals. All mistakes are mine. It was kinda made in a rush but I felt like I needed to give yall something since I havent posted in a little while. Like I said I am working on Ch 2 of Fire and Ice and I am really excited about it and my drabbles. It gives me something to look forward to and helps me escape the world. Thank you all so much for your support!!!

#loki and thor #loki #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki daily #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki one shot #loki x reader #mcu loki #loki x y/n #clint barton imagine #Tony being an ass #loki needs a hug #the avengers #loki avengers #natasha romanoff #thor #captian america #steve rogers #bucky barnes

[cloudy-dayys]

Tell me more about your sky spirit

final hope? omg i havent gotten an ask about them in so long tysm!!!

ill do their backstory info about them plus some facts!! (this is an AU since i dont know actual lore about the game, its fun guessing and including my character!)

-

Final Hope, lesser known as 'Courageous Swordsman', started off as a normal person within wasteland (before everything hit the fan). They always had an interest in fighting and being a leader, so they were recruited to join the army and train alongside the captain. They even reported to the Elder of the land for more serious training and began to grow within the ranks. Soon enough, they themselves were an off branching captain, guarding the realm with Elder and an army man. They didn't work well with the common spears and shields, so with the help of forest Elder and wasteland Elder, crafted a sword of light that is more durable and handy for them.

They trained and trained until they became the perfect soldier with said sword. Many were scared to approach them due to their hardness of shell, but they were respected with fear nonetheless.

However, it all came crashing down when the realms went under attack because of the corruption from the king. The Swordsman never knew or associated themselves with the king, due to the fact that they didn't trust nor believe in a monarchy like that. Darkness grew, buildings collapsed, the dark dragons came in and killed every source of light they saw, flashes of storms and destruction caused mayhem. Eden, what was known as, had been obliterated. Nothing could've been recovered, and the high winds took a toll on the vault, valley and wasteland.

Wasteland Elder recruited armies to try and recover bodies now dosed in darkness and survivors. However, Final Hope disobeyed orders in a fit of rage, and went above to Eden to try and somehow stop this murderous mess because of the king. The captain couldn't find them the minute they left, and was forced to keep helping people. There was no time.

Final Hope had one goal in mind and it was to kill the king with their sword of light. They took an army of people and they fought their way towards the top. Though, many had been killed off due to the sudden appearance of the dark dragons. This left Final Hope and 60-ish soldiers remaining and fighting their way.

When they finally reached the top, no one was expecting anything they saw.

Red flaming hot crystals scattered across the now destroyed area, what was left is now covered in rubble. The winds were so strong that it blew people back, flying into the red rocks and killing them almost instantly. (This is why you see the corpses everywhere in Eden.)

Final Hope had never been trained for this before. No one had been. They didn't know what to do. They saw their comrade's bodies strewn across the battle field, and the king's power and destruction grew by destroying light.

It was all terror. They'd wish it was a nightmare but it never ended. The darkness was so strong no one could even reach the afterlife. They were trapped within the storm.

Final Hope was in a blind fury of emotions, horror filled and anger had surpassed their collective thoughts, and now they were fighting off instinct.

The crystal in Eden grew to unbearable size, and so did the king. No matter how hard they fought, they were dying and couldn't stop it. They wanted to battle on, take vengeance for their people and for wasteland. Thousands were massacred because of the greed of the king and the Courageous Swordsman wanted to give light to the land. Even if it was for the last time.

The darkness and red crystals tore up their body, draining their light and killed them below the king. The best soldier in the lands had perished, and everyone thought there was no Hope left. Not when their beacon of peace, the sword of light, had been shattered.

The memories lived on, but not with the spirits and elders. They needed light, and they hadn't seen it for so long.

The lands formed and had grown used to the storms and darkness. They adapted and everything was too quiet, especially since everyone was dead.

That is until one day.

Miraculously, stars had fallen and gave birth to the skykids.

The skykids brought back life and light to the gloomy, dead realms, and even though the main citizens had perished, they got to live in the afterlife after the darkness on their bodies had been removed.

They were forgotten no mor.

But Final Hope had lay in ruins, taking so much damage to their corpse because they were left under the crystal. It was all so dark and cold, and there was shame and guilt in the raging winds.

Though, a skykid who resembled a moth crossed the storm, freeing the lost bodies with its light. After so much pain and suffering, and so many other skykids failing to get to the Courageous Soldier, this one gave light to Final Hope. They saw a bright shine, and suddenly, everything was a blissful peace.

Their memories danced along the battlefield, and their spirit helped protect the child that saved them. The kid collected the tragic memories of the commander, and as they pulled the crumbled sword out of the ground, they gave it their last winged light before dying and moving on to the afterlife.

It was warm again.

No restraints or pain. Just warmth.

Soon enough, Final Hope had broke free of their prison and permanently settled into the afterlife, being a secret spirit to find alongside the elders. They couldn't be reborn, but that's okay to them. At least they were at peace and get to see their friends and Elder again.

Many kids had grown attached to them, even though they most likely wanted to be left alone due to the gut wrenching guilt they still felt within their heart.

Moths took special interest in them because there was something alluring about the spirit that just wanted to be called out to. They wanted to be guided and protected after going through those torturous storms, and that was what the Swordsman was known for.

And so, Final Hope had given up and decided to try and be of help to these kids. They flew them through the stars and guided them through the paths as they collected their winged light from the other spirits. The moths stuck around the most, reassuring them and giving them hugs (something they were definitely not used to but welcomed nonetheless).

Lastly, as time grew, the Courageous Swordsman had accepted their new role as a guidance among the dead. They became softer, laying down their sword for the kids to keep. Their message was to live on the brave legacy, and to destroy the corruption that is still happening in the overworld.

The kids accepted, and now everytime one meets the spirit (since it is quite difficult to get to their body and relive memories), they are able to collect the sword for free.

Whispers flown about, and the name 'Final Hope' had stuck to the spirit among the kids. They were also called the Elder of Eden, even though they did not resemble an Elder. They took up these names with pride, and will continue to fight on to truly protect those they couldn't before.

The sword, it is a gift, from the Courageous Swordsman to you. Take care of the sharp light you will now wield, and restore order to the realms again. They will always watch over you, and as the strongest in the land, will guide you through. Heed their warnings, and do not take a path like they did. Keep fighting, for you shall bring the lost to their home.

-

thats a wrap on their backstory! it goes even more complicated than that lol

heres some facts:

Even though they were just a regular spirit, the skykids collectively decided to name the Swords man 'Final Hope' or 'Elder of Eden' for taking on such a big role. Now that is their common go to.

Their mask has been cracked open, revealing one of their eyes.

Due to them softening in the afterlife, they were more approachable for everyone. They became more affectionate and took on the unsaid title of a caretaker.

Only Final Hope can permanently destroy krills with their sword, since skykids haven't done as much training as the spirit did. Though, the children still can kill crabs and temporarily disable the krills.

They have an unrelated close bond with isle Elder, and they view him as a parental figure.

Many spirits still do not want to associate themselves with Final Hope because of the recklessness behavior they had acted out on in Eden, though, the wasteland spirits understand and keep the soldier company.

The wasteland Elder and Final Hope aren't on good terms for right now. There is a lot of anger they don't want to bring up.

Final Hope will forever live on with guilt and shame for killing hundreds of their army members. They take that blame.

They have severe depression and possible PTSD because of how they died and lost of loved ones.

They hold your hand in the afterlife and guide you to the gate, getting down on their knees and blessing you with the sword you can now find in cosmetics before you leave.

Since so many people liked their hair, they have made it an option to braid your hair like theirs is!

You will feel a sense of calmness around them.

You can buy a collectable pose from them, and from there, they can teach you some tricks with said pose to annihilate enemies of darkness.

They're very quiet and stealthy, even if they don't mean it. Be careful!

You can hang out with them before you leave. Many moths do!

#ask #rain talks #long post #final hope #sky children of the light #THANK U I HAD FUN WRITING THIS #this is all just a longer summary in story telling hehe

[lambvein]

Cheerful Host-part 9 (Reupload)

The past months have been hell on earth. A nightmare come true. These dumb fucking bimbos have been training me to reply to their every command whether it be to finger my pussy or fondle my nipples or bounce up and down to make my massive knockers bounce in public…but I wont give in to their orders!…unfortunately I have a bad feeling my decision to disobey will prove fruitless and harmful to me and my assets.

“Where are you taking me? Why are we going back to the mall, havent you embaressed me enough in that victoria’s secret earlier? What else could you sluts possibly want?” I spoke to the hive of bimbos in an annoyed tone.

Juggs responded “well a perfect bimbo needs a perfect makeover isnt that right ladies? And what better place to start than getting those already fat lips pumped up even more hehe!”.

“What?!?! No, please I already have ridiculously fake, plastic jugs and booty please I cant handle any more implants!” I begged the bimbos.

“Thats exactly the point silly billy! We, like already pumped up your tits and ass so now we need to top off this bimbo cake with some big, fat, fake dick sucking lips!” ariana spoke in a mocking voice.

I began to tear up at the thought of how goofy I would look with massive fake lips and how hard it would be to speak or communicate

“Please ladies, dont do this to me I will do anything…anything at all!”.

“Awe mega mountains thats cute, if we want something from you we will make you do it…speaking of which…play with us right now! Hands on your tits and pussy, girl!” Juggs demanded.

“WHAT!?!? Were in the middle of a fucking mall are you crazy?!?!” I whispered into my cleavage as to not seem crazy infront of the crowd of mall-goers bustling the crowded building.

“EXACTLY!” The bimbos all shouted at once.

I then began to feel the all too familiar feeling of my pussy and nipples swelling up…it felt…AMAZING.

“wont you play with us now, mountains…come on you know you want too” nicki spoke in a seducing, childish tone.

“Hurry up bitch, were not letting you go anywhere until you obey us!” Jugs shouted in the back of my mind.

I gave in to the feelings and dove my hands into my tight top and shorts and began to play with myself. My attempts to stifle my moans proved to be no help as every passing pedestrian either looked at me disgusted, whistled at me or copped a feel themselves.

“Hmmmm these horny guys grabbing a feel gives me an idea, mountains present your huge jugs to the next chick that walks by and beg her to feel you up hahahaha!” Juggs suggested, the other 59 bimbos controlling me all laughed at my situation and decided to pump up the sensitivity in my delicate areas.

The slightest brush from my tight clothes was enough to bring up an accidental squeal in ecstasy. Without hesitation I hefted my titties up to an approaching goth high schooler who had just exited the mall’s hot topic.

“Please, please play with my tits! I need release so bad!” I shouted at the young lady as my knees were shaking and my arms were swiftly giving out from attempting to carry my enormous knockers.

“What the fuck!?!? No way you dumb bimbo!” The goth hissed at me before storming off, dissapearing into the dense crowd of shoppers.

“Girls, please make this end. My shorts are soaking wet and im so tired from hefting my boobs around in everyones faces amd playing with myself for the past hour” I begged the bimbos.

Juggs replied “Okay fine mountains…we will save this for later when your makeover is done!”.

The bimbos all squealed at my suffering as they swiftly brought me back to my feet out of my puddle of pleasure and strutted me over to the mall’s lip injection clinic. The sluts strapped me down to a leather chair in the back of the store as a curvy nurse holding several needles appeared.

“Oh my god can we please talk abou…” my speech was cut off by the nurse pumping the needles into my face all at once.

The sensation of my lips filling to the brim with silicone felt terrible. It took several minutes to finish her injections and by the time she finished half of my view was obstructed by my now cartoonishly large top lip.

“Mmpppff mmppff mmpppfff!” I lost the ability to open my mouth enough to create words.

My lips have become too fat and heavy to be able to open my mouth. “Perfect! I have never done silicone injections that large before but I made a special case for you so you better enjoy it!” The nurse said to me in a cheerul tone as she grabbed a handful of my bottom lip to test its thickness.

“This is perfect! No more backtalk from miss mega mountains!” Nicki interjected.

The sluts all cackled at my inability to speak as I was lifted up off the leather seat and out of the nurse’s office.

“Next stop, a new wardrobe!” Jugs announced.

“Mmmmmppppfff!” I attempted to plead to the sluts.

“Silly mountains theres no point in rebelling. We just took away your one way of communicating with the outside world. You are all ours now” juggs said with a triumphant jiggle of my colossal titties.

“Now play with us…or else…” Nicki demanded.

I didnt hesitate and quickly stuffed my hands down my bra and worked my nipples as best as I could to satisfy the bimbos. Several people passing by either gave me a dirty look, blushed, looked away or hollered at me like some kind of dog. After several minutes and many awkward interactions we approached a lingerie shop I had never noticed in the mall before.

“Alright ladies GO WILD!” Juggs announced to her hive of sluts as I was forced to sprint into the sex shop as my big boobs hit me in the face several times.

The sluts selected several outfits: a christmas themed bikini, a sexy nun costume, a leopard print bodysuit, an obviously too small tracksuit, a latex devil outfit and a tiny pair of panties with an equally miniature bra to go with it. I was practically pushed into the change rooms by my swarm of sluts to the confusion of the clerk at the store and got a look in the mirror at my current situation. I felt like breaking down crying.

I looked like a cartoon character, I barely fit in the change room with my enormous caboose and fat melons attached to me and to top it off I now sported the biggest pair of fake lips I have ever seen, they reached past my chin and rested just below my eyes “MMMMMPPPPFFF!”.

“Like what you see, mega mountains?” Juggs taunted.

“MMMMMMPPPPPFFF!”.

“Yeah, we are all pretty sexy together arent we, I suppose you should be thanking us that there is no reverse spell to separate us…yeah…were one big bimbo together forever.” Juggs mocked as I stared in utter shock at what I had become.

“Ummm excuse me if you are done, like, pouting we have some outifts to try on” kim said in a spiteful tone.

The girls then reached for their first outfit…the santa bikini. All the outfit consisted of was a red mini bikini with a santa hat. The bimbos finished dressing me up and proceeded to put me in as many lusty poses as they could think of, it was so degrating watching my now ruined body being paraded around like this. Every single one of my private bits were on full display…my large and in charge nipples are easily distinguished from the tiny fabric of the bikini top, the bottom of the bikini served as nothing other than a string of cloth rammed up my ass and served no other use other than to split my fat pussy lips. After several minutes the bimbos decided to move on to my next outfit…a sexy nun outfit…compared to my last get up this outfit was actually quite conservative. The costume consisted of a regular nun’s cap and robe with the main draw being the large frame in which the purpose is to display as much cleavage as humanly possible and of course the sluts spared no time as they adjusted my boobs until as much titflesh was spilling out as possible. They became bored of the maid outfit rather quickly probably due to how much skin it covered. The next suit the bimbos decided to stuff me into was a leopard print bodysuit, after zipping up the suit my breath was sucked away as the suit hugged and pushed up all of my curves.

“MMMMPPPPFPFF!” I tried as best as I could to communicate to the bimbos that I couldnt breathe under all my titflesh but my begs were of to no avail as the sluts continued to pose me in any way they pleased without a hitch.

“Damn girls look at our tits! This cleavage goes on forever and ever!” Ariana spoke in a lustful tone to her fellow sluts.

My next outfit was an extremely tight tracksuit. My enormous junk in the trunk was tucked into the extra small tights resulting in a brought up squeal from the cameltoe being firmly set in whilst the tights run deeply into my own ass crack, next the track jacket was zipped all the way up resulting in my titties looking like beanbag chairs stuck in a suit.

“Ooooohh I like this outfit! And it seems like mountains is enjoying it as well. Look how much shes blushing!” Kim pointed out.

“I know what will really get mountains going” juggs said as she took over my whole body.

I felt my lips open as I was forced to speak into the mirror…wait how was she making me talk with my fat, fake lips?!?!

“Hey samantha…enjoying the ride? I sure hope you are because its going to get so much sweeter…we will never stop recruiting sluts to join our hive and you will never escape being the host of our hive. You will never be rid of your massive knockers, your big fat booty or us…so get used to it bitch because you are under new management. The bimbos management” Juggs finished her speech and returned to her respective consiousness in my jugs.

I felt like crying but my big fake lips only allowed me to hold a ridiculous duck face as I stared full view at my figure. Whilst I was distracted the sluts undressed me from the tracksuit and quickly suited me up into a hot red latex bodysuit and attachable devil horns. The slut squad stuffed my extreme assets into the bodysuit to the point of deriving severe discomfort from within the suit. “Perfect!” Jugs announced as she assessed the fruits of her labour by fondling my tight implants and injections.

“Yes, a million times yes! Lets roll girls!” Juggs announced to her fellow bimbos as I strutted out of the sex shop.

“Mmmmppppfff mmmpppff!” I tried conveying to the sluts my terrible discomfort due to the constraints of the bodysuit but my begs and moans fell on deaf ears as they kept bouncing me along like some kind of pornstar preparing for a shoot.

I looked absolutely ridiculous, I looked like jessica rabbit going to a bdsm convention.

“*ahem* we need some attention down here mountains, come on dont you know how to be a good guest?” Jugs spoke in a sharp, snarky tone.

I stuffed my hands down the front of my suit which only made my discomfort more extreme and began working my nipples to please the bimbo hive.

“Now don't you dare take your hands off your tits until we say so or you will feel the wrath of the bimbos” juggs hissed.

I continued playing with my mountains as I was forced to walk through the entire mall as if to display to everyone what I had become, this is so fucking humiliating. My face was burning red by this point which only further put my heavy makeup job front and centre. It took several minutes to exit the mall and by the time we had my pussy was ready to burst but the sluts refused to supply me release. With my new outfit pushing up my knockers and booty combined with my new fat lips I now felt even more embarressed to be seen in public. The people only see me as a bimbo now and now with my massive lips I cant even talk back…I am now a passenger to my own body at the horny hands of 60 bimbos, sluts, whores and strippers….wait why are we going back to the strip club!?!?!…

#merge #body expansion #body control #body invasion #thick and curvy #bombshell #overflowing #big hooters #volumptuous #thicc #blowup doll #doll transformation #huge lips #thick white girl #thick thighs #thick white teen #ass expansion #hourglass expansion #transformation #tf

[joankellyforever]

When my lover first told me he didnt love i did not believe him. I tried looking prettier, i tried spicing up the bedroom, i tried cooking his favorite meals, texting and calling less. I tried. I tried so much i became tired, insecure, jealous, angry, i started to feel unworthy and isolated. I cut off everyone he didnt like and I stood home alone at night just so he can come home at night to a place i rushed him to be in. He was always busy with the world and made me feel as if he had no time for me. I unknowingly and then uncontrolably became a nagging girlfriend. I wanted to be his one and only and yet i was just one and lonely. I kept asking him "are you sure you love me? Because I dont feel it." He pointed out everything in me he despised until i ended up despising myself. Wanting him more then i wanted me... Imagine... loving someone more then you love yourself ..and that person turns around and tells you "I love you... but ..no im not in love with you, no not no more. Youre too much for me."

I cried, like I got depressed i had to call a friend. The universe started handing me things I needed and knew that I deserved but didnt have the skills to get. That opened the doors for me, getting out my comfort zone. Facing my fears as scared and tensed and angry as it makes me. I faced my fears and it led me back home where I grew up. Everything felt perfect and right like a glove that was knitted to fit my exact measurement. I felt what I havent felt in my entire relationship.. the misty rainbow I saw was literally because of my storm. I was crying on my bathroom toilet it was midday mid weekend my boyfriend just dumped me and i ended up doing things i have never done before.

So thats my advice to anyone going through any type of heartache. My advice is doing something you have never done before. And remember that one yes, one opprounity can lead to a whole journey you never imagined. And sometimes that yes is different then you expected because you still holding onto that no. The doors closed, dont be like me sitting by the door crying. Walk down the fucking hall and find your open doors, get out your comfort zone of misery and find a new comfort zone of joy. Blast some music. Pray read the Bible! It helps! My morning anxiety is the worst. But great things happen when you call on God.

I cant wait to start dating. I miss my ex but I do also miss feeling wanted, pretty, worthy, i love the txt msgs n phone calls! Pic exchanges 😜! But i loved my man even more. If he is in love with someone else only time will tell but I cant wait around and find out. I waited too long. This is Life and life is a gift. God bless 💕

#heartbreak #heartache #breakup #hedontlovemenomore #helovesmenot #fucklove #whatthefuckislove #single #readytomingle #trustnobody #relationshit #tiredoftrying #unrequited poem #unrequited feelings #unrequited affection #unreleased #unreal #real life #being real #long reads #reading #reaction #journey #journal #insecure #international #divorce #babydaddy #babyshower #baby

[marshmallow-phd]

Charming Instruction

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

**

Junmyeon didn’t lead you too far into the woods. He stuck to the tree line, pulling you in close once he was leaning up against a sizable trunk that kept you somewhat hidden from the house. Hands resting on your hips, he leaned his forehead on yours and sighed deeply.

You could tell he was still stressing over the meeting. Perhaps he was expecting more concern and questioning from the pack rather than the nonchalant reception that was bestowed upon him instead. While you didn’t know the boys all that well, they all seemed to give off that carefree vibe, which was possibly be the bane of Junmyeon’s existence, if you had to guess. But that probably just came with the territory of being a leader. And being the mate of the leader, you figured it was your job to help him stop worrying.

“Just give them a little time,” you reassured him as you rubbed his arms. “Soon, they’ll take it more seriously. It’s just because the information is so vague at this time, they don’t know what to be cautious of. So, they blow it off rather than stressing about something they have no control over.”

Junmyeon pouted, squeezing your sides. “Then why am I stressing about it?”

“Well, I don’t know too much about werewolf pack dynamics….” You scrunched your face mischievously, “But I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that you’re the leader and it’s kind of your job to worry over every little thing.”

“I do not worry about every little thing,” he protested.

This was coming from the same person who didn’t tell you the truth about the connection between the two of you because he was overthinking on whether or not you would hightail it out of here and leave him in the dust. Granted, you didn’t give him much hope for any other outcome, but still.

You held your thumb and index finger up, leaving a minuscule amount of space in between. “You do. Just a little bit.”

Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it, sighing heavily. “Okay. Maybe a little. But someone has to worry about these things or else we’ll all be doomed.”

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing that you’re the leader instead of one of the others.”

He let out a short laugh. “Well, me and Kris. And it was nice that he-”

A little over the current discussion, you simply pressed your lips against Junmyeon’s for a quick kiss to stop his talking. Well, it was supposed to be a quick kiss.

Catching the back of your neck with his hand before you could pull away, Junmyeon deepened the display of affection, taking full advantage of the isolation. Under your palms that were resting on his chest, you could feel his content purr vibrating both you and him. The sensation made you giggle. Junmyeon broke off the kiss at the sound.

“What’s so funny?” he murmured, frowning at you.

“You’re like a cat,” you chuckled. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

Junmyeon scoffed, the corners of his mouth turning up in astonishment. His eyes turned back to you, “Do you realize how insulting that is?”

“Um, sorry?” you snorted. He did not find it as funny. “It’s not my fault! You were purring!”

“I was happy! I can’t control it!” he whined.

You rolled your eyes. “I was just saying that it was cute!”

“Hardly the word I want to hear in the middle of kissing you,” he grumbled.

Stepping back, you crossed your arms, just staring at him. He kept pouting, just making him even cuter.

It was ridiculous. The big alpha wolf wanted to be seen as anything but cute. But he made it hard with that fluffy brown hair, puckered lips, and big, round brown eyes gazing at you. You almost wanted to snap a picture of it, but that didn’t feel appropriate in the moment. Honestly, it felt silly, him taking offense to that four letter word, but it wasn’t worth starting an argument.

You threw your hands up. “Okay. Fine. I won’t call you cute anymore. Never again. I will purge that word from my vocabulary unless I’m talking about a puppy or small child.”

Junmyeon’s eyebrows shot up to nearly his hairline. “I didn’t say that.”

Narrowing your eyes and smirking, you teased, “So, you do want me to call you cute?”

He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t mind it under certain circumstances. Just not when I’m kissing you. Because that makes me want to show you exactly how not ‘cute’ I can be.”

Now that kind of had you taken back. “Are you sure you’re a college professor? Because you are acting a bit more more like a college boy right now.”

With a predatory gleam in those russet eyes, Junmyeon stalked towards you. Instinctively, you stumbled back until your back hit a tree, the curved edges of the bark piercing your shoulder blades.

Your breath quicken and you couldn’t stop the audible gulp in your throat from how much like a wolf he being. That reaction seemed to just egg Junmyeon on. He didn’t stop until the space between you was completely gone, a hand on each side of your hip to keep you in place. His lips were right against your ear as he whispered, “I’m only a professor on campus.”

Oh, that’s not good.

Junmyeon nibbled at your ear before moving down to your neck. You giggled anxiously. He’d never gone this far before. What really made you nervous was the fact that you didn’t want to stop.

“Junmyeon! Junmyeon, are you out here?!”

Junmyeon growled, slamming a fist into the bark above your head. “Oh, for crying out loud.”

You snorted, covering your mouth when Junmyeon shot you a look.

Chanyeol and Jongin came running through the trees. You straightened up, hoping that there was no evidence of what you and Junmyeon were doing left on your face.

“What is it?” Junmyeon asked grumpily. You could tell he was trying to remain calm and not be irritated at the boys in case it was a real emergency.

“Sorry to barge in,” Jongin actually looked really guilty, which made you want this whole thing end even quicker, “but no one can find Tao. Did he run past here?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, we haven’t. Why?”

“No one can find him,” Chanyeol explained. “He stormed off after the meeting. He seemed really pissed.”

“That’s not good.” Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair before glancing at you. Turning back to the other wolves, he asked, “Did you see what direction he took off in?”

“He went out the front door,” Jongin replied.  

“So, you think he went into town?” Junmyeon guessed.

Chanyeol shrugged. “Maybe? And you know Tao when he’s mad. He doesn’t really have the best control.”

“Alright.”

You could see how reluctant Junmyeon was to be the leader, to go after his wayward member, but it was an instinct that he couldn’t ignore.

“I guess I’ll go track him down,” Junmyeon sighed.

“I need to go back into town anyway,” you inserted. Maybe if you were the one to take him, he’d be less pouty about it.

“Luhan wants to go with you,” Chanyeol added. “Said if anything, he can drag Tao to the empty bar while he does opening work.”

Junmyeon nodded. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

The four of you headed inside, grabbing Luhan before splitting off and going back outside to your car.

It wasn’t a very chatty car ride. Luhan stayed quiet in the back seat while Junmyeon held your hand from the passenger’s seat. He made random comments about the area’s history or how the road needed repaving every once in a while.

Apparently, Tao preferred to hang out downtown, so that’s where you dropped the two wolves off. You told Junmyeon that he could find you at the museum once he was done. When he questioned why you would go there, you simply shrugged and said to kill time.

That wasn’t entirely a lie. You really did like to spend free time at the museum, wandering around and trying to find new pieces to memorize.

But today you had a little mission.

Even though Junmyeon said he’d already gone through the little book of his family’s history, you thought that maybe a fresh pair of eyes could pick up some new clues.

Mrs. Kang wasn’t surprised to see you at all when she saw you in the main lobby. Junmyeon had told you earlier in the week that he had you added to the very limited list of people with access to the back room. Mrs. Kang handed you a key card with no hesitation and left you to go on your merry way. Getting a pair of cotton gloves from the supply closet, you buckled yourself down at the table in Junmyeon’s secret room after carefully taking out the book from its resting place.

You flipped through the pages slowly, gliding your eyes over the heavily faded words. Some paragraphs were almost completely illegible from the old ink wearing away with age. One particularly worn page caught your eye about halfway through the book. The edges were particularly feathered and torn, giving you the impression that this page’s contents were immensely important in the past. Almost all the writing was gone on the pages, but certain words you were able to make out.

Enemies.

Beware.

Hunted.

Future encounters.

Bingo.

At the very bottom of the page, underneath the missing information was a familiar looking symbol still present enough to make out. It was a circle overlapping three points. That could be the clue you were looking for in order to keep the pack - Junmyeon’s family - safe. But where did you take it from here?

Junmyeon came to the museum about forty-five minutes later, finding you in the “caveman” section, as Cam liked to describe it.

“Finding anything new and interesting?” he teased as he came up behind you, encircling his arms around your waist.

You shrugged lazily. “Perhaps. Did you find Tao?”

Junmyeon scoffed. “Yeah, he’s been found. But he’d ran off in the forest, not to town. Apparently, he just ran in a different direction than where we were.”

“Poor leader.” You turned around in his arms, linking your own around his neck. “It’s so hard being you.”

That just made him roll his eyes. “You’re so mean to me.”

You motioned to exit with your head. “Come on. Since I’m so mean, dinner’s on me.”

Junmyeon made his impressed face, the kind he made when a student in class gave him an answer he wasn’t expecting. “I like that idea. And I think I know just the place.”

**

Triquetragirl49: I’m glad that the new article helped!

Archaeology4life: It was a great read! Thank you!

Triquetragirl49: How’s the paper coming?

Archaeology4life: Not too bad! Teacher’s a hardass, though. Lol

Triquetragirl49: Well, hopefully he’ll at least enjoy your paper on irish werewolves.

Archaeology4life: Fingers crossed! If I don’t get an A, I might have to complain to the dean. Jk

Triquetragirl49: Remind me again why you were focusing on that subject?

Archaeology4life: I just came across something about werewolves and a connection to the triquetra in some research. I was surprised that they were both related to protection.

Triquetragirl49: Kind of related. Werewolves were still considered dangerous and best for everyone to stay away from them.

Triquetragirl49: At least, according to the legends, that is. Considering they’re not real!

Archaeology4life: I’m sure if wolves were real, they wouldn’t be dangerous.

Triquetragirl49: You never know. There’s a lot of scary stories out there lol.

Archaeology4life: Yeah… you’re right lol

Archaeology4life: Thank you again!

Triquetragirl49: Of course! Just let me know if you want to know anything else! I’ve enjoyed talking to you!

Archaeology4life: Same!

“What are you smiling at?”

You slammed the screen of your laptop shut just as Junmyeon slid into the empty space across from you in the breakfast booth. Since he had a department meeting this evening, you’d beaten him to the farmhouse and decided to kill some time by getting back in touch with your new internet friend.

Finding triquetagirl49 in a folklore chat room on a history website had been pure luck and she’d giving you so much information on how that old celtic symbol could be related to werewolves. It seemed more like a good thing, representing protection for both humans and wolves alike. You weren’t sure when you should share this information with Junmyeon or exactly how to present it, so you decided for now to just keep it to yourself for the time being.

“Funny article on The Mummy trilogy,” you lied smoothly.

He shook his head, laughing to himself. “You and those movies. Don’t you have them memorized by now?”

“Maybe,” you pouted. “We can watch something else, though, if you want. Or do something else. We don’t have to watch a movie.”

Junmyeon held out two hands, moving them up and down like a pair of scales. “Let’s see… hold my mate close on my bed while we watch her favorite movie or do something else that involves less intimate time and possibly run into someone else in the pack.” He gave you a pointed look. “I think movie wins.”

You beamed. “Good!” Hopping up, you started for the staircase. “Let’s go!”

Junmyeon laughed as he followed you up to his bedroom. By luck, a majority of the wolves were out and about with their mates on this beautiful friday night. Since you and your wolf still had to be careful about who saw you together, it was a night in for the pair of you. But you didn’t mind. In fact, you had been looking forward to it all week.

Jumping on the bed, you pushed yourself all the way up to the headboard while Junmyeon turned on the TV and readied the movie before heading into the bathroom. While you waited on him, you fluffed up the pillows to make yourself more comfortable.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you tried to keep your focus on the bright screen. Junmyeon had decided that it was completely appropriate to come out in just a pair of sweatpants. Just sweatpants. No shirt.

He was such a tease.

You made no protest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close to him. Leaning your head on his chest, you watched the movie for a good fifteen minutes or so until the scene with Rachel Weisz in the museum, knocking over the bookshelves and creating that cringe-worthy disaster came on the screen.

That’s when Junmyeon got a little restless.

At first, he was just playing with your fingers and planting kisses on your shoulder. Then he moved his lips up to your neck, tickling the sensitive skin. Out of reflex, you flinched into the kiss, closing off access from Junmyeon.

“It’s cute that you know every word,” he whispered. It was obvious that he cared nothing for the movie and he was just trying to distract you and maybe even give him all your attention instead.

Taking the bait, you turned to tell him to be quiet. Before one word could escape your lips, he’d captured them in his own. You never saw another minute of the movie, too preoccupied to pay it any mind.

Oh, well. There was always next time and your wolf needed your special attention.

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #junmyeon x reader #kim junmyeon #suho #exo series #exo supernatural au #Charming Instruction #untamed wolf universe

[brackenfur]

okay so . i finished a vision of shadows and im gonna post my Thoughts on the arc here:

things i liked:

darktail was a good villain. he was scary, he was manipulative, he was mean. he felt THREATENING which is someting the other villains sometimes lacked (hawkfrost cough cough), he kinda reminded me of first series brokenstar a little & i LIKED darktail as a villain. him being onestars son is also so conceptually hilarious

alderheart was cute & i liked how nice and caring he was. he wasnt like.....unintentionally a jackass or annoying to read, he was just kind and always reinforced that. i also liked how he made t he most of his situation and became an awesome medicine cat

also puddleshine is a good boy too. puddleshine/alderheart FOREVER

also needletail. oh my god needletail. i remember someone saying “just read the books u wont like needletail THEN” but nope................i fcking love her. shes a good character. her death made me SO upset even though i knew it was coming & im such a sucker for her and violetshines found family dynamic

SPEAKING OF VIOLETSHINE i liked her a LOT. her & alderheart were my fave pov characters - theres something i really sympathize with and love in violetshine, and i liked her arc about finding her home and being so confident in it, but i also like all the moments where she was filled with doubt and bad memories. one of my fave scenes with her is when sleekwhisker is like “remember when we were friends???” & violetshine is like “no.........i Absolutely dont rememebr that. you were all mean to me.” bc YES violetshine, YOU TELL HER!

sleekwhisker was a LOT of fun. shes just mean as shit and i found myself liking that, theres nothing deep abt it. shes just so fucking rude and shes a fun secondary antagonist

tigerheart & dovewings kids are adorable

i really liked that last scene in the raging storm when tigerheartstar agrees to share a border with skyclan & hes like “oh so we wont be near thunderclan anymore???” & leafstar is like ?????/ & hes just like “thank GOD. we’ve been near them for waaayyyyy too long” & bramblestar joins in on joking wiht him being like “yeah well we’re glad not to be near YOU anymore either”, and the rest of the clans are just like “oh man what will we DO without thunderclan and shadowclan butting heads anymore???’ that just made me smile. i like the scenes wtht he clans joking with one another and all

also alderhearts last tidbit where he looks at violetshine & twigbranch and thinks abt needletail and how far theyve all come and just oges “i hope youre happy in starclan, needletail, i miss you.’ was really cute. it made me kinda emotional

leafstar was so good in this arc. i liked her and skyclan a lot bc they were so rightfully DONE with everyones shit - from being taken advantage of to being driven out, she just HAD it with all of them and i was like you know what.....good job. i’d be mad to that place is a freakshow

shattered sky is probably one of my fave warrior books i wont lie

i loved the scene where all the clans fight darktail and they show how each of the clans are using their own skills to fight him, and they list how they’ll do it - i just like the idea of them all coming together, and that battle was REALLY good. shattered sky was just good

things i DIDNT like:

oh boy.

briarlights death. im still so mad that out of every character, the ONLY one who dies is her in river of fire. like no lets not get rid of the older cast or characters who havent done ANYTHING in all the books.....like it just made me rly mad and still does. i miss her so much :(

im gonna be honest - i said it once a long time ago and i’ll say it again: its hard for me to like tree as a concept when hes this able bodied character who has an ENTIRE new role created for him just bc he doesnt feel like doing anything else in a clan but characters like briarlight and longtail werent allowed to become warriors after their respective injuries, or characters like jayfeather and cinderpelt are forced to become medicine cats. like its just hard for me to like him when in the SAME BOOK briarlight dies and tree gets his dumb new role.

darktail shouldn’t have died so early tbfh. like after he died the last 3 books were just really.....underwhelming. sleekwhisker came back for that one book but it was like. there were no villains?? except. the weather i guess

the whole “the clans dont listen to the medicine cats” got really repetitive after like the 4th book.  like it started to just kinda get annoying when alderheart would go to bramblestar ad hes just like “okay but...i dont want to do anything JUST yet son” like WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS 10 TIMES NOW

i didnt like jayfeather in these books, im sorry. like there were little glimpses of him i liekd - when he was hanging around fuzzball, or small scenes with him and alderheart - but he was just.....too mean sometimes. how he treated alderheart and twigbranch really bothered me sometimes bc it felt so mean-spirited. they kinda overdid his grumpiness i think bc theres just a line between being a grump and just being an asshole and he was falling on the latter i think

twigbranch & flypaws relationship reeeeallly bugged me ngl, esp since i feel like there wasnt any scene where twigbranch realized she was really wrong for how she treated her. like yes i understand twig was rly frustrated but flypaw is an APPRENTICE & twigbranch being like “i have to be really mean to her for her to understand she needs to Be Better” bugged me. hmph.

finleap

TIGERHEARSTAR JUST LIKE AS A CONCEPT

tawnypelt not saying anything when she saw dawnpelts spirit like???? thats her baby?????????????????

the whole arc felt really repetative in the last 3 books , i mentioned it before but i just. got annoyed with how much it was like “okay we need to come together” clans: i guess “okay we need to stop fighting” clans: okay and then the next book they dont do that. like it happened way too much and i was just liek CAN WE HAVE ANOTHER CONFLICT OR SOMETHING

the name twigbranch

tigerheartstar being “chosen” to lead shadowclan when other cats could’ve done it for him lol

also tigerheartstar being broguht back to life bc apparently he was just That Special out of EVERY OTHER CHARACTER IN THE SERIES 

#wc #shark noises

[superfoodfantasytrashnproudblog]

Could you post your ToastPudding story please? I'm going to write one of my own and I would really like to have some inspiration to keep me going!

i kinda wanted to write one buti never found the right time to do so because of work and stuff ( i once posted a little bit it’s in the ff toast tag i think)but i could give you some headcanons if you’d like:

(i went kinda overboard lol)

against what most people think it was pudding who confessed first . as soon as he reliased his fellings he thought about it and deducted that it would be the best move (thats what he likes to say but it was actually jello’s idea)

it wasnt romantic or so they were closing up for the evening and pudding just told him after he then had done his cleaning

toast was suprised he didnt see it coming (and almost droped the dishes he was putting away)

afterwards pudding quickly leaved 

at first toast thought it minght be a dare or so but then again pudding wouldnt do something like that 

toast then wanted to speak with him about it but pudding started to avoid him

when toast went to the ice arena he left, he would volunteer for the air ship / orders and stuff

toast went to jello for help and she got pudding to listen to toast( he dosent know how and pudding wont talk about it and when he asks jelly she just smiles)

and they just hit it of after from then on (i seriously havent thought about this part yet i love drama so im better at coming up with misunderstandings and such than the resolving ending)

toast likes scratching pudding with his stubels

toast found out that pudding knows how to style hair from jello (because he does it for her sometimes) 

after a lot of presuasion and a promise to not tell anyone pudding agreed to do his hair (omurice would either tease him or be jealous about him doing jello’s hair and he’d rather not have to deal with that)

toast may have one or two spare glasses but puddings collection is on a whole new level ( when he first found it he was alone in puddings room because he had to get something but as he returned he found toast wearing at least ten pairs simulainiously)

pudding steals toasts shirts (when he first saw that toast almost died it was too much for him)

toast gets pudding to relax and turn his manager mode off which is something even jello cant pull off that often

they kept their realationship a secret at first , pudding just wanted to keep it profesionel and not because he’d scream at every food soul who’d try to talk about romance with him out of embarrassment ( toast saw through him almost immediately played along)

the master attendant was the first one to find out. they were missing some ingredients so pudding volunteered to go to the market real quick and toast decided to tag along they had a rather romantic evening but what they didnt expect was that the master attendant decided to go tp the market as well shortly after them  (a suprise order came in so they had to buy more stuff) so just imagine this moment : toast and pudding hug/kiss beneath a street lamp the sun is setting the town is painted in a warm red/orange the street is empty because atmosphere. they remain standing close for a bit longer afterward and then the fucking master attendant just exitsa near by store and walks by not even stopping and pudding immediately freezes, toast the has to convince pudding that the MA wouldn’t tell the others about them or do anything else they wouldn’t want. pudding agrees but as soon as they entered the restaurant almost every food soul sits in the dining part (with jello being rather amused at a tomato red pudding) and they all just go “so how long??” and ask questions with chocolate declaring that they can and should come to him if they have problems he’s after all the love expert. a horrified pudding stormed into the storage room where the MA is preparing the order and ask them way they told everyone the visibly confused MA can’t even declare their innocence before jello (who as well as toast followed him) says that it was orange juice /nasi lemak (i have this headcanon that those two are the central figure of any gossip spreading around the restaurant) both had accompanied the MA earlier pudding and toast were just to surprised at a wild MA appearing to see them( i actually eanted to draw a comic about that scene but i acidentally deleted the wip and went to bed)

the whole comotion died down rather quickly after black tea gave everyone disaponted glare and the MA threw a “i expected more from you “at them 

it took pudding some time to actually ask the MA what they thought about the realtionship (they just gave a tumps up a wink and said to “keep it quite while working”) 

after doing one too many fake kissy sound around pudding omurice gets kicked in the shines so hard he minght have cried if he jello hadnt been around 

after the big reveal toast find himself having chocolates pat his shoulder followed up by a “feel free to talk with me about anything” almost daily (mainly because pudding just gave chocolate a judmental glare and silence the one time he did that with him)

jello now drages pudding along to almost every “girl talk” about romance (chocolate wants to be invited to those but he kinda went overboard that one time and lets just say they dont want to shoulder another flower bill and the MA’s disapointed head shake like this again)

the only time toast listend to chocolate was to just buy pudding flowers he bought him a smal yellow bouquet because it remined him of puddings eyes (and he actually managed to talk chocolate ,who had decided to tag along, out of buying the biggest rose bouquet the shop had)

pudding looked like as if he’d explode any second thats how hard he blushed  (he even forgot that they were infront of the restaurant and everyone could see them .the MA just looked at them and said “nice” before going back to work)

#ask #ff toast #ff pudding #ff #food fantasy #i meantioned #ff chocolate #ff orange juice #ff nasi lemak #ff jello #ff master attendant #ff headcanon #me at myself *off you go i suppose* #im sorry #answering your question so late #you probably already finished your fic by now #if so maybe send me a link?

[lilypixels]

get to know me tag

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better

I was tagged by @yooniesim, idk why youd want to get to know me but here lol

1. Dogs or Cats? cats, though i like both

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities? uh...normal celebrities i guess??

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be? honestly no clue but not where i live now-

4. Disney or DreamWorks? you expect me to choose???

5. Favorite childhood TV show? probably rugrats or teen titans, was very obsessed as a child and watched every content produced

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? i dont even know whats coming out anymore, too consumed with other things

7. Favorite book you read in 2019? this is a bit awkward cause I haven’t read in awhile,,,

8. Marvel or DC? marvel

9. If you choose Marvel favorite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favorite Justice League member? uhhhh, I also liked storm and nightcrawler most (actually was actively reading nightcrawler comics but ran out of money). and just because, my favorite DC character is Constantine and i stand firm on that choice

10. Night or Day? night cause im magically more awake and can forget the day

11. Favorite Pokémon?  dont have a true favorite, but i like Skitty and Vulpix

12. Top 5 bands: bts, monsta x, three days grace, shinedown, twice, halestorm

13. Top 10 books: i dont even remember anymore, but i really like rick riordans books and theres more than 10 of those so we’ll go with that-

14. Top 4 movies: underworld, underworld 2, underworld 3, dracula untold, alice in wonderland, and nightmare before christmas even tho thats 5

15. America or Europe? i wanna say europe but ive only experienced america unfortunately

16. Tumblr or Twitter? twitter just cause i use it more for fandom

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life? pro-choice as long as its early enough

18. Favorite YouTuber: idk a youtube honestly i just watch a couple here and there but a sim youtuber i found recently and like is itsmetroi

19. Favorite author? rick riordan, i like those modern myths sue me

20. Tea or coffee? tea all the way, cant stand coffee and it makes me sick 😅

21. OTP? i used to be better at answering this but im blanking now

22. Do you play an instrument/sing? i used to play the clarinet but havent in almost 4ish years; also used to sing in elementary choir before hating the structure and quitting

I tag @lunasysims and @waysims as well as anyone else if you havent done it idk 11 people to tag

#tagged #about me #i guess #nonsims #tagthing #tag thing

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

#kastle #kastleff #kastle ff #kastlenetwork #kastledaily #happy belated birthday haley!!!!!! #sorry for the unpolishedness #i may go back and edit it up a bit later lol #but i wanted to have something for you because you've been so lovely and welcoming! #i can't thank you enough!

[majornelson]

Xbox Game Pass: Just Cause 3, Life Is Strange, Ark: Survival Evolved, And More This January

Lives are strange (even stranger in video games). Have you ever jumped into a game because you wanted to be someone else? Like a high school student with superpowers that can stop time, a sneaky invisible robot in space, or perhaps you just want to be a farmer riding his tractor all day. Maybe even be the tractor!

Okay, you can’t be the tractor.

But you can be so many other people thanks to January’s Xbox Game Pass titles! We have many great games coming your way, in addition to the over 100 great games already included in your membership, that run the gamut from the punch in the feelings from the Life is Strange series (which we sneakily added over the holidays), to an actual punch in the face from Just Cause 3.

Without further ado, let’s jump into the new games:

Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5) (December 20) Welcome to the portside town of Arcadia Bay. In the seminal award-winning narrative adventure game Life is Strange, you play as Max, a high school senior who discovers that not only can she rewind time, but that all her actions, no matter how big or small, have consequences that will last a lifetime.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (Episodes 1-3) (December 27) A three-episode arc taking place years before the first game, Before the Storm puts you in the shoes of Chloe Price, whose rebellious character formed much of original game’s tone. As Chloe struggles with difficult changes in her own life, she will need to support her friend Rachel whose world continues to be rocked and shaken.

Life is Strange 2: Part 1 (January 3) A new adventure with new characters and the prevailing themes of friendship, family, and mystery the series has come to be known for. Life is Strange 2 will follow the path of two brothers, Sean and Daniel Diaz, as they are forced to flee from their home after an unexplainable and tragic event. Experience this first episode with Xbox Game Pass, plus look out for episodes 2-5 coming to Xbox Game Pass soon.

Ark: Survival Evolved (January 3) Ever wanted to run around on a mysterious, futuristic island full of giant dinosaurs? Cool, we thought so too. Which is why we’re bringing Ark: Survival Evolved to Xbox Game Pass in January. You’ll have to craft, hunt, and survive against not only the ferocious local wildlife, but the hundreds of other players as well all in the hopes of escaping the shores of this deadly island.

Farming Simulator 17 (January 3) It’s time to live out your dream as a farmer, but without that whole, getting dirt under your fingernails business. In Farming Simulator 17 you will have access to over 250 vehicles and equipment to help harvest a variety of crops, take care of livestock, and then sell your goods to your local market and continue to expand your farming empire so you can take over the world… ok, maybe that’s too far. But you can ride a tractor!

Absolver (January 7) Live out a life as martial arts expert focused on a variety of fighting skills, weapon knowledge, and hand-to-hand combat in the competitive, online world of Absolver. Journey across forsaken lands and come face to face with others like you, learning new combat skills, obtaining new weapons, gear, and armor along the way, all in the hopes of being considered worthy enough to be welcomed into the corps of the Absolvers.

Just Cause 3 (January 10) Cause chaos on a massive scale to take down a Mediterranean island’s evil dictator. Return as Rico Rodriguez in the third entry of this awesome open world action game that lets you skydive, swoop across mountain ranges, hijack vehicles, and experiment in all sorts of unique, hilarious, and explosive ways to get your mission done.

Aftercharge (January 10) Aftercharge is a bit like a cat and mouse game. But in space. With invisible robots (and no cats). With teamwork at its core, two teams of three players compete against one another – one must sneak across the battlefield to shatter six cylinders; the other is completely invincible, armed to the teeth, and must stop that from happening. Both teams need to work together, either coordinating attacks or creating distractions, all in the hopes of coming out on top.

Join Xbox Game Pass Today

With over 100 great games for one low monthly price, including highly-anticipated new Xbox One exclusives the day they’re released, including the highest-rated* Xbox exclusive of this generation Forza Horizon 4, plus more games added all the time, Xbox Game Pass gives you the ultimate freedom to play. If you haven’t tried Xbox Game Pass, join today and get your first month for $1, and discover your next favorite game.

For the latest Xbox Game Pass news, follow us on Twitter and Instagram, download the Xbox Game Pass app for Android and iOS and keep it tuned here to Xbox Wire. Until next month, game on!

*Source: Metacritic

via Xbox Live's Major Nelson http://bit.ly/2Rs7r5Q

#Xbox Live's Major Nelson

[boldlybloggingbooks]

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson

The Way of Kings (The Stormlight Archive #1) by Brandon Sanderson

So I’m still on my Cosmere bender, having started with The Final Empire (Mistborn #1) in October. Eight books – now nine, after finishing this one – later and… I’m still blown away. Sanderson’s skill, his worldbuilding, his character development…! There’s not enough praise I can heap on these books.

Summary:

Six years after the murder of King Gavilar, the Alethi kingdom is still at war with the mysterious Parshendi. With each highprince fighting on the Shattered Plains for his own glory and to earn Shardblades and Shardplate, the original purpose of the war – revenge for Gavilar – has slowly faded from their minds. For Brightlord Dalinar Kholin, however, the war isn’t his only challenge – strange storm-induced visions order him to reunite the highprinces and kingdom.

Slave Kaladin Stormblessed has just been sold to a new master, Brightlord Sadeas, who also fights on the Shattered Plains. Ordered to run as a bridgeman, the lowest of soldiers who are responsible for carrying chasm-spanning bridges into battle, the darkeyed Kaladin is lost. His faith in lighteyes has been shattered, he’s lost everyone he’s ever cared for, and he’s not expected to survive in his new role. But when mysterious things begin happening to Kaladin, he comes to learn that his part in the world is greater than he ever imagined.

Far across the sea in Jah Keved, Shallan Davar seeks out the scholar and heretic, Jasnah Kholin. Shallan’s father’s recent death has thrown their family into chaos as debts are being called in and a strange group begins making threats on the Davar family. Jasnah holds the key to the survival of Shallan’s family, but will Shallan be strong enough to do what she came to do?

* * *

Once again, the first book of the Stormlight Archive opens on a new world with new characters and a new system of magic. Roshar, a world of rock and stone, is probably the harshest of the cosmere worlds I’ve read (although Mistborn’s Lord Ruler era was pretty bad). The plants are rocklike, the animals are rocklike, and harsh highstorms can destroy anything in their path. Even rainwater has a sediment-like material (called crem) in it. As harsh as the world is, however, the peoples of Roshar have learned to survive.

The magic on Roshar is different as well. It’s not fueled by metals like in the Mistborn books. It’s not powered by breaths and color as it is in Warbreaker. It’s not even fueled by drawing Aons, such as in Elantris. No, magic in the Stormlight Archive is powered by… ta-da, Stormlight. A glowing power that is contained within gemstones which people trade as currency or use to light a darkened space. At this particular point in time in The Way of Kings, individuals who can harness Stormlight and use it are basically myth. Those who once held that power, the Knights Radiant, fell ages ago after abandoning mankind.

I think what I’m enjoying most about the magic of Stormlight Archive is that the magic truly has its limits. Very few people can use it. This means that not everyone is the same magical threat to each other; however, it makes those who can use it very dangerous to everyone else. And it truly is limited – you had to have Stormlight-infused spheres with you in order to Breathe in the Stormlight. Once those spheres are dun and the Stormlight has been spent, the user is out of power. Finally, since the ability to use these powers has, for the most part, been lost, no one is a true powerhouse using the abilities granted by Stormlight. Well, except for Szeth, but his full backstory hasn’t been told. Yet.

The Way of Kings is told through several POV’s. For the most part we hear from Shallan, Dalinar, and Kaladin. There are a few chapters from Szeth’s perspective, and those serve to explain the chaos he’s being ordered to sow throughout the lands. There are a few other perspectives we hear from, mostly between the parts in which the story is told. I enjoyed reading Kaladin’s sections the most. He had the greatest character development, in my opinion, but that’s also because we’re introduced to him when he’s practically at rock bottom – mentally, emotionally, and physically. The reasons behind his beaten-down state are completely valid, and he doesn’t just overcome his struggles in one event. Undoing as much harm as was done to him takes quite a bit of time. Dalinar’s POV was my second favorite. Brother to the murdered king and also known as The Blackthorn, Dalinar faces an entirely different kind of struggle. He’s the first to realize that the “war” is just being taken for a game among the other highprinces – even the current king, Elhokar, has been sucked into this game. With each vision that Dalinar sees in the highstorms, he becomes increasingly convinced that he must do something drastic to change the tides of war and unite the kingdom. But against and in preparation of what… he has yet to know. And finally, Shallan. The secluded daughter from the Davar family, Shallan has struck out on her own with the intent to steal Jasnah’s Soulcaster, a powerful object which can transform one substance into another. The Soulcaster is the only item that can help save her family, but Shallan’s worldly inexperience proves to be her first obstacle because in order to get close to Jasnah, Shallan must become her ward and assist with research. I can understand how Shallan’s lack of experience lends to her indecisiveness and frequent confusion (and it was gratifying to watch her grow as a scholar), but I just felt like there wasn’t enough to her as a character. Obviously, this is only book one in the series, so I’m hoping that Shallan develops further as the plot progresses.

There was something captivating and relatable about this new story in the cosmere, despite it being fantasy. Several times around reading, I found myself almost using “spren” in a sentence – and I did say “flamespren” aloud at one point to people who hadn’t read these books, and boy, did they look confused. Sanderson’s command of words is magnificent; despite introducing so many new terms and people and ideas, the words flow so smoothly that after a while, you hardly realize that you’re immersed in a new world while creationspren crowd about you.

Yes, I’m still dying to really learn about Hoid and what his purpose is in the cosmere, and I’ve been told that it will come in the next books. Well, it better come soon because his storytelling and world jumping is absolutely baffling to me.

There’s so much more I could get into, and I haven’t even started on my theories for what I hope will happen in the next books. But that would keep me from starting on the next book. “Journey before destination;” well, I’m greatly enjoying the journey that Brandon Sanderson’s books have taken me on, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

* * *

Speak again the ancient oaths:

Life before death.

Strength before weakness.

Journey before Destination.

and return to men the Shards they once bore.

The Knights Radiant must stand again.

#books #bookworm #book review #the way of kings #stormlight archive #brandon sanderson #booklr

[masterturner]

long drawn out personal post

this is a bit stream of consciousness, so if you’re reading this and trying to make sense of it, im sorry. its okay if youd rather not. its a lot and its emotional labour to even read it probably. it’s been almost a year since the breakup now. every day closer to the anniversary of it, i feel a little more broken. i’ve had two suicide attempts since then, a prolonged IOP thing, and i no longer see a therapist (though i really should start again). im not crying about borderline personality disorder though. this is all breakup shit. still.  im still holding together somehow. i dont really know how, some days. ive gone through the whole cycle of grieving multiple times now, cycling again and again through denial and bargaining and all that, ‘til i reach acceptance and think the hurricane is at its end. then i find i’m just in the eye of the storm, and it’ll soon pass as i get caught up in the winds again. then i do the whole cycle over and over again. thats what the therapists in the IOP said it was. a grieving process. you can grieve the terminus of a relationship the same way you grieve a dead person. it sounds so silly when i make that comparison. they also said that progress and healing are nonlinear and that it’s not really necessarily going to be as simple as passing through the grieving process a single time.  i said it sounds silly. its not silly though. its real, and i have to remind myself of that from time to time. i dont usually talk about anything personal on here, and its a little weird that im doing it now. but i guess im doing it because i dont know where else to do it. i could do it on facebook, but it feels attention-grabby, needy in a way i always feel weird being. doing it here under a little ‘read more’ thing feels less obtrusive and private, but not so private that im completely trapped in my own skull again. i hate feeling trapped in my own skull.  the anxiety bubbled up and got bad again pretty constantly. it got that way tonight. i felt my heart race while i tried to sleep. usually the worst points stemmed from me looking my ex up and seeing how their life was progressing along without me. unlike me, my ex has a drive and interest in the performance of social media that i generally lack. my social media experience begins and ends in shallow ways: i look at cute butts on tumblr, reblog dumb memes and get vague impressions of things going on in the world and such through the sometimes nonsensical things other people reblog. thats about it. my ex, though, shes the kind of person that does things like update her facebook profile picture at least once in a 6 month period, unlike yours truly.  i dont even follow her or have her friended anymore on facebook. heaven forbid i had an instagram to see what kind of stuff was going on there. it always got the worst when i saw her with her new SO. now i get to look at that every time i get the nerve to message her. its literally painful to even look to the extent i have to archive or delete every stray line of text we send to one another afterward.  i was seriously in denial - i talked myself into believing the SO wasnt an obstacle, wasnt a big deal, he was just a rebound and it didnt invalidate me. it didnt make me lesser, and it didnt mean that i was being replaced. after all, what stranger can replace 5 years of memories and experiences together? but i was a rebound too, and that led to a deep and intense relationship. why couldnt it this time too?  i was naive, i think. hopeful and naive, and i really wanted to believe this and that. ‘i know her’ i’d tell myself. ‘i know her, and i know she wouldn’t think this’ or ‘she wouldn’t do this’. but it’s wishful thinking.  maybe a part of me always did know better. maybe i stopped listening to that part of my own psyche because i started to recognize how harmful it was.  it’s kind of messed up how that works though? like... you can be happy with someone, but also be terrified of that day when they realize they can do better. and then it becomes a sort of twisted, fucked-up self-fulfilling prophecy because that thought sucks the life and passion out of you. it’s insidious and slow.  and it’s tempting to look at it like ‘i was right all along, everyone will leave me’, but that’s not really how it necessarily is. thats just the trauma talking, the fear, the part of my mind that’s lazy and resigned to suffering and collapse. it was that fear that made it real. maybe if i’d learned to manage that fear, though, things could have been different. would have been different.  it’s pointless to speculate on that though. the reason i say it isnt to speculate though, it’s because im trying to remind myself that it can apply to right now. the friendships and relationships i have now - few and far between as they may be, stretched thin as they may be, damaged and in dire need of repair as they may be - aren’t doomed to failure just because i’m afraid of loss and abandonment. the collapse doesnt have to be inevitable.  maybe talking like i’ve learned and figured something out from all this will make me feel better. maybe believing it all had a purpose will make it feel like it was worth it. eventually. right now, though, it doesnt.  i’m still so upset. i’m still miserable and i still long for things i can’t have. i miss affection. i miss being touched, even in a plain and nonsexual way. i miss being kissed and i miss being hugged. i miss being wanted, and every day i wonder if ill ever feel that again. and then i get to thinking, would it be enough to feel that from just anyone again? why do i feel so starved for... any kind of affection at all? why do i feel so desperate for something - anything like this? could anyone ever love me the way my ex did? i guess the cynical and plain answer to that is no, but thats okay. and maybe someone else can love me better. and maybe that desperate longing to be loved, cherished, cared about, touched, anything is just a symptom of an addiction that’s yet to pass. kind of a cold and clinical way to put it though, and i dont know if thats really me. yet i dont want someone else because its not enough to just have anyone. my ex left me, and now i still have that feeling of being invalidated, devalued, abandoned, and ultimately replaced. even if someone else came along and professed undying love for me, no matter how i welcomed it, that feeling of being tossed aside would remain. and i dont know how to come back from it.  i hate how much my mind... fixates on it. like... everything makes me think of it. i cant make a status on facebook without wondering if my ex will see it, what she might think. i cant leave my house and go somewhere without wondering, what if my ex sees me? what would she think of what im doing? would she approve, or be proud of me? would it impress her? or would it disappoint her? it saps the joy out of almost everything i do. i cant watch an old show without feeling bad im watching it without her. i cant help but wonder if she feels the same, or if shes gotten over it. and a part of me doesnt want to know the answer to that wonder. does she still listen to mili? coheed? does she listen to ‘old flames’ on repeat like i do? when ‘sweater weather’ comes on, does she think of me or someone else?  even now as i write this, i wonder if my ex still stops to peer at my dumb blog from time to time for a hint of how im doing and what im thinking. and i dont even know if id want to know, because seeing this message in that light casts a pall over it that makes me feel sick. i didnt want my ex to see how not okay i am. i didnt want her to see the part of me that feels so sick still. and i dont want to know that she doesn’t look at this either. so here i am at an impasse, writing words and tossing them into the void of the internet, hoping for and expecting only silence, while also hating and fearing the very same. id like to think that maybe this is a sign i dont care anymore, but i think i know better than to really believe that.  i force myself every day to just... not reach out. not say anything to her thats real or vulnerable - the few times ive talked to her it feels forced and fake. and it feels like ive cut off a limb, because im so used to leaning and relying on her. but i feel like i have to, because expecting that level of emotional labour from someone that has cut those ties with me seems silly and foolish... not to mention selfish.  why? maybe a part of me thinks that by hiding it, i’d win her back someday. or maybe im just afraid of being burdensome and difficult. or maybe i just... genuinely do want her to be happy without me. i wish it was that last one. i wish i could just back off and be happy that shes with someone else that maybe will treat her good in a way that i couldnt, or didnt.  i dont know what i want, though. i know what i dont want though. i know i hate feeling like this and i wish i could make it stop, but i cant. its not really getting easier. i had the borderline shit before this, and i could end up meeting the criteria my whole life for all i know. the breakup is just a massive complication in that whole mess, but i dont know if id even know what was wrong with me if i didnt have that relationship in the first place.  there was a day a few days ago, or maybe a week or two ago (i dont remember) where i wanted to hurt myself (not physically though for whatever reason), and in order to do it, i made myself do something i was starting to break the habit of doing. i browsed her facebook profile and scoured it for anything that’d make it sting again. i succeeded - it didnt take much. a few pictures, a relationship status change, that was pretty much it. my mind filled in the blanks after that because of course it did. it snowballed into full blown catastrophizing. they’re probably madly in love. they’re probably moving in together, if they havent’ already done so. they’re probably making plans to get married. they’re probably this and that and this and that - like it matters. like it affects me somehow.  but it doesnt. not really, not physically anyway. i dont have to look, and its like i hope not looking will make it hurt less. but not looking makes me hope, and hope has bred more hurt than anything else in the past year.  since i last looked her up in that fog of need to hurt myself emotionally, a lot of that dreadful hope i had that i could win her back drained away, and i want to believe that the pain will go away now. i havent talked to her since then. i still think about her. i still dream. i still fear and i still wonder and reflect. but i havent talked to her. is that good? is it bad? is it anything other than what it is? does it matter? maybe someday ill be over this. a part of me yearns for that. and a part of me is afraid to ever let go, because what if love wins in the end and all the time we had together meant something after all?  did it not mean anything if it didnt end up taking the shape i wanted it to take? no, it still meant something, but does that matter now?  i dont know. all i know is that to this day it hurts and... that’s all. thats all i know.  eleven months later and it still hurts. but i guess expecting it to be all better after 5 years of dating is a little unrealistic. i thought we were gonna be together forever. forever is a long time, though, i guess.  she makes it look easy, but maybe it isnt for her either, even if she’s better at making it look a certain way. i have no way of knowing and thats maddening in its own way. if i had the ability to close that distance... hear her out, be there for her, could i do it? could i get over my own fear and hurt to build a connection again? id love to find out. but i cant seem to get that far.  it doesnt matter though. its her life, and she has every right to move on without me. its easy to say ‘poor me’, but theres two sides to every story. a lot of pain that led up to the end. questions i still have that will never go answered, and closure i might not ever obtain.  ctrl+a, delete, backspace. that’s all it’ll take, tyler. then maybe you can sleep.  but no, instead you’re going to post this. for what? why? is it a cry for help? complaining for the sake of complaining?  i dont know. i cant leave it all in my own head though.  but the silence that i get back in response is liable to be deafening all the same  

#do not reblog this

[synnematic]

DAY 3: Letters to A Loved One

for @saboace-week

TWO PARTS:

Letters to No One ( written by me ) multiple chapters

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955610/chapters/32125773

A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889

Summary: 

A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.

Letters to No One

Dear Sabo,

This is stupid.

Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not  When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.

i know youre not coming back.

you’re dead

you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late

but im fine

im fine

im not fine

luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really  i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.

we’ll get thrugh it

fuck this is stupid

what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it

you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this

fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore

sorry

im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here

i miss you

    ace

sabo,

hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?

this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud

sorry

its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because

well you know

went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.

i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get   i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not

youre still dead and im still breaking

i dont know when its gonna stop

if it does at all

    ace

sabo,

Is it nice where you are?

Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.

It sounds warm.

I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d   Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here

I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?

The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe

Ive been thinking about death a lot lately

    ace

Hey

I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.

There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.

So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.

I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.

It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.

We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.

I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.

I just don’t want to forget you sabo

    Ace

Me again,

I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.

Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.

I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.

You’re up there somewhere huh?

Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?

Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.

Wish you were here

    Ace

Hey Sabo

I think I need some advice right about now.

It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.

I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.

Not that that really worked out.

Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t  I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.

So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.

So tired.

And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.

Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?

They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?

Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?

I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.

I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.

    Ace

He KILLED him.

One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.

I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.

The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.

Well not this time.

This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.

This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.

I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.

I can at least do that.

Sabo,

I’m getting close.

I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.

I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.

Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.

It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.

    Ace

Sabo,

I’m being executed today.

Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last  this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?

Damn it.

Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.

I don’t want to do this.

He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.

Maybe I’m just stalling now.

They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.

ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.

The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.

Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.

I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?

Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.

Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.

Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.

And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?

They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.

I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—

I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.

I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.

But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.

I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?

Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.

Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

    Ace

A Couple Years Too Late

Dear Ace,

         It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.

If only I could tell you.

I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

         I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.

Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

          I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.

Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.

It must have been really hard on you…

I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.

Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.

I can dream, right?

.

.

.

Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.

When you found a family .

I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.

Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?

Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.

…I’m sorry.

Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.

A long while.

It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.

Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?

Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.

And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.

Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.

Fourteen.

It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?

Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.

Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…

I miss you.

God I miss you so much.

It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.

Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.

But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.

By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.

I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.

Fifteen.

We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.

         Sabo

#saboace #acesabo #saboaceweek2018 #I REAAAAALLLYYYY HOPE WE HAVEN'T HYPED THIS UP TO MUCH #BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING TO RELEASE THIS PROMPT FOR /MONTHS/ #I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY