#that's not enough stimulation. throw me in a random situation. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lvnatiq · 3 years

Text

Random Relationship Headcanons | Felix Escellun x gn!reader

a/n: Hey ! On todays menu I am serving you modern au relationship headcanons. I know for a fact that I can’t write headcanons AT ALL yet here we are, out of spite I will keep trying until I can manage to write good shit. I’m going through a chaotic time in my life so please be patient with me 😭

I’m currently working on tattoo artist! reader x Felix headcanons and college!enemies to lovers one-shot. Knowing that Felix’s fav trope is enemies to lovers, I will post it hopefully before his new chapter drops. I used most of the hcs that were sent to me but if you couldn’t see yours, then it will probably be used on the other works.

No beta we die like men.

warnings: curse words, nsfw under the cut, random sage moments, felix being a ‘the neighborhood’ song basically.

You persuade him to start an Instagram account, and because of his family's popularity, he quickly gains followers. His account is practically empty because he would rather spend his time stalking your account on Instagram. You noticed the emptiness and wanted to take him out and take some photos for his account, which turned out amazingly. He is a little camera shy, so be patient with him.

You like to watch him apply his eyeliner but he finds it so stressing to do under your gaze. He used to be able to do it easily, but it has now become one of his most difficult tasks. You wanted to ask for his assistance in applying eyeliner to you in the hopes of making it simpler for him; he agreed but quickly regretted it when he realized how near your faces would be. You with your eyes closed, waiting for him to drag the line as he was only thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss you.

Felix has a Polaroid of you and stella in his wallet I said what I said.

When it comes to himself, he can be a pessimist, but when it comes to you, he is the most loving and positive boyfriend you could ever ask for. You have a dream ? He is ready to help you achieve it. Do you want to change in your life ? Go for it, He’s more excited than you are.

He can be quite insecure at times when it comes to your relationship because he feels like you deserve the world but the world is too big for his tiny hands. Will his cuddles be enough ? God he hopes so.

He almost cried when you told him you loved him for the first time. He's also baffled as to how you might feel the same way about him.

Drunk Felix is really clingy and honest. Whatever he can’t say sober drunk felix can and definitely will.

“May the stars let my death be between your glorious thighs amen-“ “Felix-”

Felix is weird but it add to his charm. It’s not unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night and find the pillow besides yours empty. In the dead of night, you will find Felix munching on some weird ass food combinations.

He also has a habit of doing things that are extremely adorable without even noticing it. Like walking around the house in his oversized shirts, his hand clutching at the cuffs whilst the other one sheepishly rubs his eye.

“Can I lay on your lap ? I promise I won’t fall asleep. I just need to rest for a little.” His voice is so soft and hushed. “Of course, come here.” He throws himself onto you as he comes hopping on his tip toes.

He falls asleep on his desk too often, so you have to carry him back to his room, where he snuggles against you while you lead him there. Once he's in his room, he insists that you stay with him, so you wait until he falls asleep as you play with his hair, and he wakes up thinking it was all a dream.

I firmly believe that Felix’s love language is acts of service. Like making you coffee and bringing you random snacks as you work or wrapping you up in fluffy blankets whenever he catches you slacking on the couch.

He's been romanticizing anything and everything since he met you. When he sees beautiful flowers, he wants to bring them to you, but he also believes that their beauty stems from the fact that they are alive, so he argues and stresses a lot when deciding what to do in simple situations like these.

His edginess belongs to his impulsiveness and his style only at any other situation he's a complete softboy.

And I'm certain he knows a variety of card tricks. He enjoys showing off, and he enjoys it even more when you become fascinated and beg him to share the trick.

If you're a morning person, you'll probably spend your mornings alone in solitude, finishing work before the day begins, but if you're a night owl, you and Felix will go out for night walks and Felix would go out for night walks, sharing headphones to play some music, enjoy each others presence and develop a habit of watching the sunrise together.

Felix makes you playlists at the most random times and with the most random names. Until one day he sent you a playlist at around 4 a.m called “you”, filled with his favorite music. He usually sees music as a safe space for himself and now that you are his safe place too it’s only appropriate for him to do so. This only further proves how he spends his time thinking about you.

I feel like Felix would have what most would call "attachment issues" but it’s mainly because of his protective tendencies. This is not to say that he’s this "overly jealous toxic" character; rather, he has never had anyone to truly call his own in his entire life so he would do anything to protect it.

Felix is also big on astrology, so if you want the perfect birth chart, he'll give it to you. Also he owns a lovely deck of tarot cards, and if you ask him for a love reading, he can't manage to keep his words and feelings to himself so he modifies your reading according to him and his desires. Let the boy abuse his powers for the sake of love.

His style could be described as dark academia, his wardrobe mainly consists of dark colors, lots and lots of blazers and a lot of oversized shirts. He also loves jewelry so he owns a lot of rings and chains. Just so you know, if you're wearing any of his rings, his heart is doing cartwheels.

Is it obvious that he loves it when you place your hand in his and play with his rings with your fingertips.

Spoil him. Buy him that baby blue hoodie with cat ears.

“Ah, you look adorable.” “Isn’t it a bit too b-big ?” “You could say that. Do you mind ?” “No, I like it that way.” “I would know.” You smirk followed by felix’s gasp. “If you so desperately wanted a cat boy you know you have me right ?” Nudging your shoulder, Sage leapt into the conversation. “What is he talking about ?” Felix grumbled, only to notice two fuzzy triangular fabrics on top of his head as he brushed his fingertips over it.

He’s obsessed with your hands, kissing your knuckles, drawing circles in your palm. At a certain point it became an involuntary gesture he does it quite often without realizing.

He’s also canonically extremely blushy but he would never admit it. You’re convinced he uses some sort of make up because it is not possible for the pink dusting his cheeks to look this good.

He insists that you’re cold even in the warmest weathers because he wants to see you in his coat.

Sage forces Felix to take his thirst trap Tiktoks.

He really appreciates it when you add to his herbal tea collection without him noticing and he considers it a sign of affection because he takes his tea very seriously.

He loses it when you call him baby he gets flustered and frustrated but it’s all because it rolls off of your tongue so nicely that he can’t get enough of it.

Felix owns a broad collection of scented lip balms some of them are tinted. You didn’t hear this from me.

He never once took anything the Sage says seriously until he saw how well you two got along. He never thought that he would be standing there taking relationship and flirting advice from the frat boy.

Felix is a complete asshole when he wants to. He’s very verbal about it too. Consistent sarcastic remarks and eye rolls. I mean it runs in his blood, look at Escell.

You love it when he suddenly whips out the confident Felix, it’s not a daily occurrence you know.

When Felix is concentrated, he’s lost and there’s almost no way you or anything else can distract him. So it’s time to grab some colorful hair clips and ties to fuck around with his hair.

Felix is not the best at verbally expressing his gratitude towards you. He doesn’t know what he would do if you weren’t there for him at the lowest points of his life where normally he would close himself and bare the weight of his family problems and personal life issues that he can’t seem to get out of. Now he has you, someone who’s willing to listen to him and offer him a warm embrace when he needs the most.

While you to play games together, when he wins he wears that iconic shit eating grin of his with pride looking at you through the corner of his eye. “Shit, what do you want me to say to that felix ? Perhaps I should call you master now that you won ‘one’ fucking round.” He is praying that the screen light is covering the fact that he is a blushy mess after hearing you say that.

NSFW

I cannot stress this enough but he is extremely vocal in bed. Whining, trying to restrict himself from making too much noise but failing miserably.

Muffled pants, choked sobs and lots of pleasure infused tears.

He loves getting praised during sex but what he loves more is to get praised after it’s all over. Like you telling him how great he was, how well he behaved, how good he made you feel. He experiences sub drops a lot so please assure him that he did well :(

He’s into power-play but not in a submissive or dominant kind of relationship, it’s more of a psychological thing where the fact that he can see how good he makes you feel gives him a rush of confidence and adrenaline.

I believe that this motherfucker is a masochist, pain makes him more excited than getting an update on his favorite author who went on a year long hiatus and that is saying a lot.

Bite him. Scratch him. It is so stimulating for him he can reach his high just from those actions.

Fuck do anything to his ears bite, lick, pull, blow on it. He is extremely sensitive so anything you do will basically drive him out of his mind. It will most definitely lead to him trembling beneath your fingertips.

You must think that you are the only one who is such a tease but you’re wrong. Felix teases you quite often mostly to direct your attention towards him or to keep your attention on him. He’s quite greedy when it comes to you and your hands on his body. Unbuttoning unnecessary amount of buttons on his shirt to show a little skin that he knows you’ll notice. Playing with his necklace placing the chain between his lips dragging it towards the inside of his bottom lip teasing the metallic charm with the tip of his tongue. He definitely ain’t oblivious he knows exactly what he’s doing and he makes sure that you know exactly what he’s doing.

When he’s in the mood he will tug the hem of your top meanwhile his eyes are glued to the floor or graze the temples of his glasses between his lips, his teeth lightly nibbling the pointy edge. He loves to play dumb too. When you question him, he acts like he doesn’t intend anything and that you need to get your head out of the gutter.

At the end of the session Felix looks divine. Drool leaking down from his bottom lip to his jaw line towards his neck, his bangs sticking on his sweat coated forehead, his chest rising up and down quickly. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, his hands still clutching tightly to the sheets. Faint whimpers and deep breaths filling the air.

Leading up to the after care, his shy self returns. He buries his face to your chest hiding his blushy cheeks beneath the palms of his hands.

He likes to experiment a lot and you are his favorite subject.

It shouldn’t be surprising to find random kink definitions or role-play ideas on the search history of your laptop. After all Felix just asked for it to write an email, that’s all there is to it. That’s until you offer to try them out.

He doesn’t act upon his jealousy, what he does instead is that leaving marks on you especially around your neck and your chest where he knows it will show. Don’t cover them up if you don’t wanna deal with him.

“People just don’t appreciate art anymore.” “Felix these are, hickeys.” “Oh so now you are judging my art medium ?” “Since when proving Sage that I got railed by you is a form of art ?”

I didn’t see anyone point this out but whenever he is in the sub space he tends to be more on the bratty side. He starts of shy but his confidence builds up as the tension rises. Meaning that you should be ready to get your patience tested.

When you two are in separate places your suggestive words and tone leads up to phone sex, which Felix secretly fantasized about a lot. What made everything even more dirty was the fact that you didn’t know that he was laying on your bed surrounded by your scent and humping your pillow. Once you come back home you are greeted with a fresh pair of sheets on your bed. Apparently Felix decided to do you a favor and clean your room as well as the the whole house. He’s crossing fingers that you don’t notice because he knows that he’ll never hear the end of it.

Felix knows a lot about sex but his knowledge is based upon fiction rather than experience. So, naturally, he is more interested about learning specifically how your body responds to certain actions, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in so teach him. He’s a good student and oh well he’s a quick learner.

Pull his hair pull his hair put his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair.

When he settles between your legs as he ties his hair, he places the hairband between his lips and looks up at you with half lidded eyes. It’s his definition of torture.

Even though he doesn’t give off that vibe, he is very freaky if you would’ve known what his AO3 tags consisted of you would agree.

Tag list is open

#felix escellun #felix #fictif felix #last legacy #fictif #fictif last legacy #nyx hydra #felix escellun x reader #felix x reader #mc #felix fictif

325 notes · View notes

mercurytrinemoon · 3 years

Text

Me debunking astrology generalizations and misconceptions or smth idk...

Squares and oppositions aren't pure evil.

I can't believe I have to say this because I thought ya'll have learnt the characteristics of every aspect but here we are. Nothing in astrology is black and white. And I saw some ridiculous statements (not necessary here on tumblr) that said things like "if your Venus squares someone's ascendant then you don't find that person attractive AT ALL". Or "Mars square Mercury people can't speak politely and have an annoying voice". Like????? First of all, that's ridiculous. Second of all, square in not "everything bad" just like trine is not "everything amazing". Squares bring tension, which leads to motivation, they’re stimulating; sometimes excitement or charisma; sometimes they can make you overdo things. I'm not saying they're oh-so-marvelous because the challenges are still there, but they're not as bad as people paint them to be. Squares happen between two signs that are in the same modality so they have a bunch of things in common. Besides, some of them (Sagi-Pisces and Gemini-Virgo) are ruled by the same planet so there's a special type of chemistry between those (especially when applied to synastry). Oppositions work in two ways, planets either meet in the middle - opposite signs usually complete each other and fuel each other up. And worse case scenario? Natally this means being pulled in two different directions; synastry-wise, you can completely miss each other like two passing cars - so there may be some misunderstandings but I don't think that's the end of the world... And, as per usual, may be mitigated by other positive aspects.

This is me debunking other people's attempts at debunking Sun sign compatibility.

Sun IS very important but when people ask about compatibility and go with Suns... and then someone tries to be a smartass and debunk the "compatible-incompatible" and does the same thing without even realizing it. Like, "oh I actually see a lot of Aries and Pisces having amazing relationships because *insert someting that is a total stretch and refers to their Sun sign traits*"... But you seem to forget that they're neighbouring signs... which means they probably have personal planets in those neighbouring signs... which means they're compatible not because of some made-up stuff that you're trying to come up with but because their other planets are compatible with each other. But you're still feeding into the Sun sign compatibility talk. (So like, what I'm trying to also say, yes, the entire synastry chart comes into play; Also, side note, everyone can get along on some level if they’re mature enough).

Planet in a sign is NOT the same as planet in the house.

There may be some overlaps in some of the sign-houses associations (like in the overall energy; like for example, it sort of makes sense that 3rd, 7th and 11th are referred to as “air houses” because they’re the most social) but in NO WAY there are similarities between planet house position and the "ruling" sign. That association started a few decades ago and some would say that NOT linking houses with signs is a purely traditional approach. But there’s plenty of professional modern astrologers with 20/30/40-year experience who still differentiate between sign/house position... because they know (and have learnt along the way) that there’s a huge difference.

I'll give you 3 quick examples: Gemini planets and 3rd house planets both may put emphasis on communication, mental stimulation and gathering data. But Geminis are often scattered in their approach, they may be easily distracted, may be indecisive, may be jack of all trades and talkative jokesters. They actually hate routines and dullness. "Spice it up" is probably a Gemini's philosophy. Now 3rd house planets may indicate you actually LIKE doing things on the regular - like running errands every other day in the mornings or going to that one specific coffee shop to pick up a snack. You may actually work in logistics or as a postman (especially if your chart ruler or MC ruler is in the 3rd). Planets in the 3rd talk about your siblings, neighbours or school experiences - like having Venus in the 3rd may point to positive experiences within those areas - something Gemini Venus has nothing in common.

Venus in the 9th can study at an art/beauty or fashion school (or even teach there if the MC is involved); can be very attached to spiritual and religious matters; can also find love in a foreign land. But imagine it being in Taurus - rather shy, needing those stable values to feel secure, being an exceptionally great student at that art school thanks to its domicile. Venus in Sagittarius on the other hand, likes adventure, things being shaken up from time to time, lightheartedness and exploration. But what if we flip the scenario and that Sag Venus is in the 2nd house. This can denote earing money through travelling and looking for ways to expand but in a financial matters.

Continuing with the Venus examples, having Venus in Aries is completely different than Venus in the 1st. What do people usually say about Venus in the 1st? That it makes the native charming, lovely, well-put together, with great manners, maybe beautiful, graceful, maybe a bit shallow. When in Aries? None of these characteristics fit, on top of that, it's in its detriment. Our poor gal Venus is uncomfortable and confused in Aries. She's like, "conquer? Swords? Selfishness? Obnoxiousness? Sparring? You're telling me to fight people? What am I doing here???"

And I'll leave you here with that cause those examples weren’t that quick lol and in fact, I could give you a 100 of those. Besides, this actually inspired a 3-page rant that I've already posted not so long ago that you can read HERE.

There's no such thing as "more accurate" astrology.

Both western and vedic are valid. Both can show you the same things. JUST KEEP THEM SEPARATE AND DON'T MIX THEM WITH EACH OTHER. And don't say things like "sidereal shows your soul" - omg I saw this statement soooo many times, who the hell even came up with this?! Actually, if anything, it's the modern western approach that "psychologized" (yea I just made up a word, you mad?) astrology while Jyotish still sticks to the very real "here and now", sometimes fatalistic predictions of how exactly your life is going to roll out... But hey, reach for hellenistic methods and they can tell you the same things, just with different tools. So no, they do not show different things, it's just their language is different.

If you say you don't identify with your chart then you're just reading it wrong.

This partially connects to the last one in some ways... Switching to a different astrology or different charts is not a solution. Learn how to read your natal. If you say it doesn’t describe you, I can guarantee you that you haven’t studied it properly. (Now this hasn't turned into a rant yet but I may actually do a whole-ass post on this because if I start elaborating on it now I'll end up with another 3-page essay).

Learn how and when to generalize. Also learn how to take generalizations.

I understand that you have to pick up on every single thing separately in order to put everything together. It's like learning a new language: first you need to learn individual words and then you need to know the proper grammar to create a full sentence. This is 100% understandable and necessary, but it's important to take the entire thing into consideration. And this goes for all branches of astrology, but I guess it's especially annoying with synastry. This, again, comes down to the very black and white approach. You know, like when you see those long paragraphs where people elaborate on all the intricacies of Venus-Pluto aspects or whatever as if that one thing was determining the entire relationship between two people. (Side note, no shade but some of ya'll should start writing fiction or poetry cause the amount of fluffy speech and waffle that I see floating around here on tumblr is insane sometimes). Why are you wording everything as a make it or break it type of situation? And on the receiving end - learn how to take *properly phrased* generalizations constructively. Example: it IS a rule that Aries is a competitive one, maybe you're not one of them (for many reasons) but don't make a fuss about someone saying this. It IS a basic rule that energies of the same sign in two people are going to get along (well that depends on the planets involved but I digress), if that, for some other reasons, doesn't apply to you, don't go yelling that it's bullcrap because you hate people of the same sign. You know? Like, learn the difference.

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE WITH ASTROLOGY.

I had a mini-rant on this one a while ago, but I think this deserves a constant reminder (and refers to the last point), I don't want to see any more posts that would say things like "xxx house placements will bring you suffering" or "stay away from people with planets in your xxx house" or, even worse, making a (completely untrue btw) prediction based on one single thing like "someone with so-and-so aspect is going to harm you". And you're so casual about it??? You know there are sensitive people in the world. Learn some ethics. Learn some counseling skills. Don't be ignorant. Don't throw these random stuff at people just like that. And learn some actual astrology cause most of these aren't even closely describing that particual aspect. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Ok now I'm pissed again.

Studying astrology and believing in free will doesn’t go well together.

It's not just psychological and spiritual. It's useful to know that western astrology made it like that because there were still people threatening astrologers for using it as a divination tool. So they moved away from the predictive/deterministic aspect of it. Now, I'm not here to change anyone's beliefs cause that's a very personal thing that everyone should develop on their own. But once you start diving deeper into astrology you'd notice that there's a heavy emphasis on fatedness and things being predetermined. That includes both the good and the bad stuff and you should learn to accept that. And with the bad things specifically, let's not excuse it with some "oh that was an opportunity for growth". Like yea, maybe, occasionally??? But just acknowledge that sometimes things happen not because there was a deeper meaning in them... but because you have a Pluto-Mars conjunction in the 6th that makes an applying square to your chart ruler and you were going through a profection year where Mars was your time lord and it transited that chart ruler while making a conjunction with Neptune so you were attacked by a baby crocodile while swimming and it bit off your toe and you got a nasty infection and that’s it (I just made that up btw, I don't actually know anyone who was attacted by a crocodile). So like, sometimes shit just happens and there's nothing psychological about it. Also, I bet your free will didn't want to be attacked by that croc.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #that was supposed to be short #i can never keep it short #you know how many ideas i had for that house-sign differences?!#i could write an entire book #also i may do a part two #some day #astrology #mercurytrinemoon

229 notes · View notes

celeste-clearwater-06 · 3 years

Note

Hello! I was wondering if you could please write something about how the Fellowship (+ Thorin?) Would help a s/o who's Disabled and Chronically ill. Like she has a lot of symptoms like chronic pain, chronic fatigue, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing at times, difficulty walking at times, higher sensitivity to the cold, difficulty talking at times, and anxiety, depression and executive dysfunction?

I've been really struggling with my chronic illnesses lately, namely my Autism, Anxiety, Sleep Apnea, a really bad Overbite, Raynaud's Syndrome, Asthma, etc, so I'd really appreciate an Imagine like this. I have a really weird disorder where one of my legs is longer than the other, and it's been causing me a lot of pain and difficulty walking lately, and people have been bullying me for it a lot too, so I could really use a Comfort Imagine right now. Thanks so much hun!!

It's no problem! I'm glad I can provide some comfort!! For each character, I'll use a specific struggling area, to make it a bit easier!! I hope I got these accurate enough, and of there are any mistakes, feel free to point them out!! You are strong, beautiful and so, so amazing!! Keep being you!! ❤❤

Help (The Fellowship// Thorin x Fem!Reader)

Aragorn (Autism)

Aragorn has known you for a long time, so helping with your autism is not new for him

He's particularly experienced in reading your emotions and meeting your needs, whether it's helping you out of stressful situations or calming you down, he's there 🥺

If there are large and boisterous gatherings in Rivendell, its almost guaranteed that you can become over-stimulated quickly, and Aragorn immediately senses this (spidey senses õoõ)

He's fast to find your hand and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance

If that doesn't seem to help, he'll instantly stop what he's doing and take you out of the room

If you're someone who prefers lots of space and little physical contact, he is 100% respectful of this and asks if you'll let him touch or hug you (very much gentleman 😌)

If ever you're confronted by someone of importance, Aragorn is right by your side to ease some of the tension

Sometimes there are things you find difficult to say or get out of your system

The king seems to know exactly what it is and will help you out by saying it or asking you simple questions that you can easily answer

And he always reminds you, no matter WHAT

YOU ARE NOT STUPID 😤😡

You may struggle with some parts of your life, but every day, he's constantly telling you that you're very intelligent and kind

His patience is unending and he'll never let you think down on yourself

Overall, Aragorn is always someone and reminding you that it's all going to be okay ❤❤

Legolas (Anxiety)

Most nights, Legolas keeps watch (since elves don't require much sleep) and notices that you jolt awake out of the random

Now, most of the Fellowship notices that you're usually awake and ready to go before anyone else

But Legolas is really the one to address you first

You were a bit nervous to explain, since you didn't want to worry him or the great of the fellowship, amount the other disadvantages you have

He gently encouraged you, and finally, you explained to him your sleep apnea

Yeah, he was very concerned

I mean, his blue eyes widened with terror when you told him that you could basically die in your sleep if you weren't attentive enough 🙃

Legolas, from now on, sleeps directly next to you, or keeps extra careful watch over you at night

Because he could NEVER see his precious mortal friend become injured... Or worse 🥺🥺❤

The other members had noticed a change in his behaviors towards you as well...

Gimli teased him whenever he caught Legolas giving you some extra lembas bread or offered to carry you 👉👈

You really tried to assure Legolas that it wasn't a big deal when you were awake, since you're aware of your breathing situation

But still 😤

Legolas will always bring you comfort and take great care of you, and that will NEVER CHANGE

Because he loves you very much ❤🦋

Frodo (Anxiety)

Frodo is familiar with the feeling of great anxiety, seeing he had a stress-free life while living in the Shire and suddenly was forced to carry a piece of jewelry all the way to giant ass volcano

It's easy for you two to comfort each other and seek refuge in thoughts and feelings ❤

He's not super comfortable with the thought of you having a panic attack though...

Only because he's never had one

It starts to give him a panic attack whenever you have one around him the first time 😳-

Any time you begin to breathe heavy or hyperventilate, halfling boy is hot at your heels, rubbing your back and reminding you to breathe gently

(So many hugs, if you're up for it)

After you calm down, he's constantly checking on you, asking if you need anything etc.

Really, he just wants to know if he can help 🥺

And even with the weight and stress of carrying the ring, Frodo manages to cheer you up somehow

Samwise (Asthma)

Sam has never had to deal with asthma once in his life

He's very nervous when the subject is brought, afraid it might trigger something inside of you 🥺👉👈

But you just chuckle, assure him that it's alright, and you have ways of keeping it under control

And now, he wants to know everything about it, just to have the awareness in case something happens

Sam just wants to protect you forever, and this was a great way for him to start

He constantly reminds Aragorn that you'll need breathing breaks and will convince Gandalf to let you ride on his horse

He'll scold Pip and Merry if they are trying to drag you around and be silly, because as he says

"You'll rouse him/her/them up! We can't have Y/N gettin injured!" 🤨😠

Sam is MOM

As always, he's very kind and always makes sure your needs are met ❤🥺

Pippin and Merry (Raynaud's Syndrome)

Very confused halfings 🤔

Also extremely concerned!

You were eating one of the lesser pleasurable nights

It was cold and rainy, and a fire couldn't be started, not to mention the quiet arguments of Aragorn and Gandalf in the nearby woods

And Pip's eyes widened when he saw the tips of your petite fingers begin to pale upon hearing Aragorn mention Orcs

"What's wrong with your hands?!" He squeaked, pointing towards your now white-colored fingertips

You hadn't even noticed, nor felt, considering they were numb anyways

Merry looked over his cousin's shoulder and his eyes also widened, not with fright, but wonder

They were both fascinated with your condition, convinced that you were casting some spell Gandalf showed you

Although you reassured them it was just an extremely frustrating inconvenience that you had, among other things

So from then on, the disastrobus duo did their best to keep you out of the cold (and stressful situations!!)

As a distraction, the pair will tell you great stories of the shire, doing little dances and skits that always cheer you up 🥴

Sometimes, they can be a little rambunctious though...

Merry will pick up on this fact quickly, and nudge Pippin to get him to calm down

Even though it may not feel the best

They find your syndrome absolutely fascinating!! 🤔🤔

All in all, these two are always up for keeping your beautiful smile on your face and your spirits high!! ❤🌺

Boromir (Depression)

Throughout the journey, Boromir has always found an easy way to make you smile

After all, he himself has a fascinating way of brightening anyone's spirits

Yours included ❤

Boromir may not have great stories from The Shire, like Pip and Merry, but he sure has a lot of positive things to say

He'll often suggest sparring with the two troublemaking halflings, just so you can see him goof up and get knocked over 🥺

If the nights become cold and weary, he'll give you a warm hug or a nudge on the shoulder

And a few words of helpful encouragement along the lines of;

"Don't fret Y/N. You have more strength than you'll ever know."

"Let our spirits never dampen! We've come this far!" 😊

He's also an incredible listener

Boromir wants to hear what you have to say if you ever need to rant or get something off of your chest

And don't think for a second that he would ever judge you 😤

Son of Gondor sees past all of your insecurities and knows you for your beautiful, amazing self ❤❤

Gimli (Walking disadvantages)

As you travel across great plains and mountains, your limp doesn't go unnoticed by Gimli

It may take him a while to open up about it, since he's afraid he might offend you in some way

And once he asks you, you inform him that it's a difficulty that unfortunately cannot be changed any time soon

And where you come from, lots of people tease and bully you about it

He did NOT handle it well 😳

"wHAT BLUBBERING DULL-MINDED PIGNUTS-" 🤬

Although this Dwarf is short and a bit slow at times

He's fascinatingly strong 😳

And so, he makes it his duty to be your designated carrier 🥺

At first, your a tad skeptical...

I mean, he's only around 4 feet tall...

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM THROW THAT HUGE AX AROUND?!

Gimli will happily carry you great distances when you need a break, and even longer

(Sometimes it's just to show off around the others-)

"Gimli, are you sure you don't want a break?"

"Aye lass! The strength of Dwarves is unending!" 😌

*struggling to breathe*

11/10, fantastic dwarf, will never let you down!!

Thorin (Executive Dysfunction)

Another Dwarf??

Absolutely

Thorin himself has trouble keeping composure with his time management (and sense of direction 🙄)

This means that he'll have an undying amount of patience for you and you only

There's just something about you that he fond of, and it fills in that little sassy, brooding place in his heart

Can also relate to you whenever you grow frustrated at the setback of your journey or lack of sleep

Is 100% willing to help you find your lost belongings (and once again, ONLY YOU)

Thorin will literally make the whole traveling party stop so that you can put something in your bag and make sure that you put it somewhere you'll remember

Always happy to give you extra gentle reminders of keeping your pack closed

The company is utterly SHOCKED with how he treats you

I mean, this man has always been extremely stubborn and hard headed

But when you show up, it's another person he can easily relate and share frustrations with

Also a master at organization?!? 🤔

The one thing he could do successfully was organizing the damn journey and traveling company, so ofc he's gonna be good at that 😂

Yeah, Thorin definitely has a soft spot for you

King under the mountain will never run out of patience and kindness for you 😌💙

Sorry these took so long!! I hope you like them!! ❤❤

365 notes · View notes

eldritch-araneae · 3 years

Photo

Sparkpulse IV: Sleeping Beast Within.

Summery:

Bumblebee and Cheetor are chilling together on a nice quiet evening :3

It’s a nice and calm evening today. No Decepticons activities. Bumblebee and Cheetor are relaxing on a random ledge above the cafeteria, watching everyone chilling with their energon. Cheetor is currently in their spotted ray-cheetah alt form, laying with their limbs tucked underneath the body. A position which everyone lovingly calls a “loaf form”. Bumblebee is beside his feline friend, pressing onto their side and mimicking the same position.

Both Special Operations agents were talking about random stuff, from patrol and mission discussions to random shenanigans that happened to other Autobots. Life is never boring in their department, even during the night, considering a lot of agents are nocturnal cybertronians, including Bumblebee himself.

Bumblebee slightly nudges Cheetor to make them look at him. Cheetor is hard-of-hearing, and their hearing can vary from moderate to severe. They have hearing aids, but sometimes they are not much help. So everyone quickly learned that they must make sure that Cheetor sees them before talking to make lip-reading and signing easier.

“How was your patrol, by the way?” Bumblebee asks his diurnal friend.“Did you find any interesting stuff among the ruins?”

“Nope, whatever was in that building eroded long ago.” Cheetor sighs, but then grins a second later. “I still can’t believe you found that super old board game intact!” they exclaimed, lightly bumping the minibot with their nose.

Bumblebee giggles at the display of affection. He loves little things like this. He bumps Cheetor back with his forehead. “I know right! It was in such good condition that even acid rain and stuff didn’t eat it.”

At that moment, Jazz enters the room and as he sees the pair of “cats” on the ledge above, he bursts into laughter.

“I must admit, Cheetor, I never expected you to teach our youngest member the way of the cat!” the head of Special Operations Department chortles, “Bumblebee, please be honest! Can you purr already?”

Cheetor wheezes at Jazz’s question, while Bumblebee grins widely.

“Well, I tried, but apparently I can only growl.” the minibot answers with all his honesty. “It doesn’t feel like I am supposed to be a feline.”

“Well, it doesn’t stop you from being a cat anyway!” Jazz grins, gesturing at Bumblebee’s current “loaf” position. Cheetor wheezes, making a sound like a kettle from Wheeljack’s lab. That caused all three to burst into laughter. After that, they exchanged a few words before Jazz went to grab his energon cube. The minibot and the beastformer keep chilling on the ledge, observing everyone below them.

Imitation is an interesting thing indeed. It’s a natural process that allows a living being to fit better in their social environment.

It’s not like Cheetor was teaching Bumblebee feline behavior on purpose. It just happened because the minibot spent a lot of time with them and other Autobot felines after he made amends with Steeljaw.

Bumblebee adopted some cat mannerisms. This is when his beast protocols surfaced. Both Perceptor and Botanica are absolutely sure the minibot was bound to be a beastformer, but lack of resources forced him to take a vehicle-type alt form. This leaves a lot of questions, but it’s not possible to answer them for now.

Still, this explains a lot of things: his quadrupedal mode could be an attempt of his body to compensate for the lack of beast-type alt form. Or how he feels like he’s missing some parts, like additional limbs.

Bumblebee is sure he’s supposed to have wings! Every time he swings with his cables, the overwhelming nostalgia makes his spark ache and his back feels abnormally light. After a while, this feeling grew into an itch, and just swinging around the stronghold wouldn’t satisfy it anymore.

Windblade could see the pained look on his face, so she indulged him and took him skydiving. Just flying up with her already feels so much better. And the moment Windblade turns off her engines and they start falling is pure joy, making him tear up every time.

The wind rushing past him, the feeling of flying, the stimulant rush. Bumblebee forgets about all his insecurities and worries, feeling that he belongs in the sky.

This is the closest to flying he ever got, or will ever get, as sad as it sounds.

Bumblebee shakes his head. There is no reason to wallow about things he can’t have, he has to work with what he’s given. That’s why he can’t wait for Windblade to come back from her mission, so they can go skydiving again.

The anticipation quickly fades as the door opens to the cafeteria, revealing Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker going in. The minibot tenses upon seeing them. Those two are not buddies, not at all.

“Bee, are you okay? Your optics have slits.” Cheetor’s voice pulls Bumblebee’s attention to themself. Pupils turning into slits, another feature of a beastformer, that happens when one is angry, exposed to light, or in alt mode.

“I’m okay, it’s just... well him.” He hisses at Sunstreaker below, who seems like he didn’t realize that Bumblebee is in the room too. “I still don’t know what I did to him to receive such treatment.”

“He’s always been such a slaghead as long as I remember.” Cheetor sighs. “But it’s undeniable that he’s really out there to get you for no reason. Don’t worry, I will eat his shins if he tries to do anything to you!”

Bumblebee smiles at support. He really appreciates it. Though this smile fades quickly because the problem is still there and he does not know what to do with this.

Sunstreaker hates the minibot for unknown reasons and will grab any chance to harass him. Thankfully, his friends, especially Windblade, made it crystal clear that if he hurt Bumblebee, Sunstreaker won’t come out in one piece.

Still, Bumblebee feels that animosity directed at him from the yellow gladiator’s spark.

That’s just so unfair that it hurts!

Thankfully, before Bumblebee could start fully seething about this, Blaster, with his cassettes, entered the cafeteria. Cheetor greets the fellow Special Ops members, which pulls the minibot out of the spiral of negative emotions.

Suddenly, the optics of Bumblebee, Cheetor, Steeljaw and Nightstalker are locked onto each other. For a few seconds, they stared. Everyone who noticed this stopped doing what they were doing because they knew what would happen next.

Who will run first?

Who will start the game?

The next second, Nightstalker bolts from the spot they were standing into the stronghold corridors. Steeljaw jumps after them, followed by Bumblebee and Cheetor jumping from the ledge.

The chase has begun, leaving laughing bots in the cafeteria behind!

The stomping is so intense that someone might think it’s Dinobots, not three cats and Bumblebee running through corridors. He never said it out loud, but those games helped him to be more confident with his quadrupedal mode, making him even more agile.

After a few more turns of running, Steeljaw catches Nightstalker. Now it’s their turn to be chased. He turns around and runs in the opposite direction, into the medical wing.

A medbay door opens, and Ratchet almost got thrown on the floor if he didn’t see Steeljaw coming. With a yelp, he quickly jumps back into the room, and the rest of the group runs by him. He can only shake his head as he foresees someone getting hurt. But he cannot deny that cats need to get their zoomies out... though he still can’t believe they dragged Bumblebee into their games.

The three beastformers and the minibot keep running until Bumblebee finally catches Steeljaw.

“You’ll never catch me!” the minibot proclaims, as he takes an instant sharp turn and starts running at full speed.

“Hey!” Cheetor yelps, not expecting such a fast reaction from the minibot. Being the fastest quadrupedal out of Autobots, they quickly catch up with the minibot, almost being within their reach.

Bumblebee feels ‌Cheetor is getting close to him and takes another unexpected turn to avoid being caught. But surprises won’t end here.

Just ahead of him, the door opens and Optimus Prime steps into the corridor. Bumblebee sees it too late and slams into his leg at full speed. Optimus loses balance and falls onto his back. Cheetor, who was right behind Bumblebee, couldn’t stop in time and stepped all over their leader, including his face, before sliding into the wall. Steeljaw and Nightstalker, who were much farther behind, heard the commotion and slowed down, only slightly bumping into Optimus.

“What happened?! Are you okay, Optimus?” Prowl rushed from the same room to help his friend sit up.

“I am alright.” Optimus reassures the second in command and looks at the yellow culprit, who is laughing on the floor right.

“I’m sorry, Prime! I didn’t see you!” Bumblebee somehow utters the apology between laughs. He was so focused on getting away from Cheetor on his tail that he didn’t even pay attention to what was in front of him.

“I’m sorry too, for stepping on you!” Cheetor, who is giggling, apologizes next. “Looks like we got carried away.”

This earned a fit of giggles from everyone. Bumblebee’s laugh is simply contagious. No one can resist, not even serious bots like Prowl.

“This was bound to happen, I feel. Though, I wouldn’t expect Bumblebee to be the one throwing me off my feet.” Optimus chuckles. He turns to Bumblebee, who, despite the laughing fit, is cradling his left arm. “Are you alright?”

“I’m okay!” Bumblebee exclaims, trying to throw his arms up, but his left arm quickly responds with pain from sharp movement. “Ow, ow, ow!” he grimaces. “Okay, maybe I’m not. Looks like I dislocated my shoulder or something.” he corrected with a giggle. Sure, it hurts, but this entire situation is too amusing to him to focus on the pain.

“Oh no!” Cheetor feels bad for their friend. “I will make sure he’ll make it to medbay!”

“Good. So what did we learn today?” Prowl asks the youngest member of Autobots.

“I learned that if I slam into Prime’s leg hard enough --” he didn’t even finish as everyone erupted into laughs again.

After everyone calmed down, Cheetor with the cassettes helped Bumblebee to get to the medbay.

When they entered Ratchet’s domain, the medic already could guess what happened. But he would never guess who fell victim to their shenanigans this time.

“Let me get this straight.” Ratchet slightly pinches the bridge of his nose.” You, Bumblebee, tripped Optimus Prime? And damaged your left arm in the process?”

The only answer he received was another row of laughter from beastformers, which served as confirmation.

“Aright. Bumblebee, you get into the berth, and your three are out.” Ratchet said. The minibot nodded to his playmates, and they went back to their game, chasing after Cheetor.

Then he walks over to the berth. Ratchet helps him to get on it with his magnetokinesis, before proceeding to inspect the injury. The medic carefully popped Bumblebee’s shoulder into the socket. The pain is lifted.

“Thanks, Ratchet.” Bumblebee says sheepishly.

“You should be more careful with their games. You are not as durable as they are, Bumblebee, and they tend to play rough.” Ratchet grumbles.

“C’mon, they never hurt me, and it’s fun!” Bumblebee protests. He doesn’t like to be reminded of his condition, though he knows this comes out of concern. “Alright, alright I will.”

Ratchet nods, satisfied with the answer. “Hold still, I will check if your arm sustained any more injuries.”

Bumblebee decided to check radio channels as he waited. Maybe he can hear if Windblade is coming back soon. After swapping multiple channels, Bumblebee stumbled upon a strange signal.

The signal is transmitted through a channel that he never saw before. As if it was turned off until someone began using it recently. And the signal itself is something he never heard Autobots or Decepticons using. It sounded like a series of beeps, short and long.

“Is something wrong?” Ratchet asks, noticing the minibot’s confused expression. Bumblebee opens the radio channel with the medic, letting him listen to that signal.

“Did you hear something like this before?” he asks the medic. He’s one of the eldest Autobots. Surely he heard something like this, right?

But Ratchet is confused as much as Bumblebee, “I do not know. We should notify the High Command about this. Who knows if Decepticreeps invented another way of secret communication… after I finish with your arm.”

The minibot nods and continues listening to the signal. He can’t help but feel it seems oddly familiar to him. After multiple passes, Bumblebee notices it has a specific pattern that looks like this:

... .... .- -.. --- .-- .-.. ..- .-. -.- . .-. --..-- / .-- . / -. . . -.. / - --- / - .- .-.. -.- .-.-.-

After he got the pattern, much to Bumblebee’s surprise, his system recognized it and began deciphering. When he saw the meaning of the message, his spark almost jumped out of his chest.

“WHAT?!”

#transformers #maccadam #bumblebee #cheetor #sparkpulse au #my art #my fanfics

117 notes · View notes

redstaratmorning · 3 years

Text

Headcanons and Musings of Pirate-y And Plunderous Proportions: Astarion Says What

Synopsis: Random musings and ramblings regarding and spawning from the differences between how Astarion says just one word, depending on your choices—“What?” This got very long and touches not only on Astarion’s difference in presentation in aforementioned moment, but also some discussion-thoughts to chuck onto the dashboard regarding some other elements of Astarion’s content thus far in Early Access, and some thoughts to add onto others’ speculations and wonderings (I did not save sources so pardon the lack of proper citation, oops. We’re going informal here anyway.) Spoilers for Chapter 1 BG3 scenes, plot, etc, under the cut in case someone hasn’t filtered out the tags. Trigger warning/content warning: some discussion of heavy topics is mentioned and explored, including starvation, abuse/torture, and trauma. Other topics of note for summarization include speculation on Astarion’s largely unknown as-of-early-access background and a touch of his possible pre-vampire morality leanings, possible mental state/trauma reaction in a couple of scenes, and vague speculation on Larian’s gameplan for Astarion’s arc ending. Gather thy party and venture forward, for here be dragons and lots o’ text, matey! [/stereotypical pirate accent]

“What?” Just that one word, between the goblin party and the tiefling party. If Larian keeps the body language and tone presentation more or less where it’s at now in Early Access, they are worlds apart and delightfully up for interpretation of just what’s going on in our favorite vampire spawn’s head. This won’t be an in-depth post about all the tonal and body language differences, just picking out a few due to personal constraints (ie too broke to buy this game currently.) Edit: And also a lot of other thoughts and ramblings tacked on, lol. On the one hand we have him at the goblin party, where he seems much more superficially comfortable there, knows what’s going on and knows what to expect—it feels like he’s done this kind of scene a hundred times before. The comfort of familiarity. Did Cazador throw “parties”, much like how he “invited” Astarion to dine with him? I wouldn’t be surprised if he mingled at regular dinner parties either before his turning, or perhaps after when he’s ordered to hunt for Cazador’s evening repast. I doubt the goblin party has anything as potentially horrific as what Cazador would have lined up on the nightly basis, which is why Astarion isn’t aggro’d: he’s in a position of power at this party after all, not a powerless one. A conquering hero, as he describes the MC. A Precarious position, as it turns out.

Circling back to that one word though, the way he says “what” in that scene after he propositions the MC and the MC picks the “Maybe. If you say please” line feels like Astarion’s response could be interpreted as pretty abrupt. On guard, perhaps, squaring up, offended, even perhaps lowkey challenging/hostile. Expressing social displeasure and possibly staring down the MC mayhaps? Could be, especially if Astarion’s body language remains as it is rigged now in-scene with that step forward, his shoulders shifting, the lack of a smile, that assessing glare, all combined with that flat tone of voice. The animation could just be temporary and subject to change, but if it does end up as more or less the final version of that moment’s depiction, it’s pretty interesting as a shift. I’d read it as potentially “not actually truly comfortable in this situation, just familiar and numb to it all”, especially when combined with some of his other earlier potential lines at the goblin party, such as the following: Astarion: So, what are we drinking to? Other than a pile of corpses. MC: That’s not funny. Astarion: Oh don’t be so sour - It’s a party. You did what you had to. Don’t be ashamed that you did it well. MC: I wish things had turned out differently. Astarion: And I wish I was drinking out of the skulls of everyone who’s ever wronged me. Life is tough. Although that’s not to say we can’t have a little fun. This supports the whole “has been through his personal hell and has adapted to survive it albeit not unscathed” story Larian seems to be going for with him quite nicely in the little tells and details. A sort of “take what joy you can even amidst the dark situation surrounding us” trauma-induced adaptation, coupled together with actual enjoyment on his part for killing. It’d be easy to say Astarion is moreso in his element at the goblin party, and to a degree he is—it’s one he is well practiced with in his current mindset. Compare now how he acts at the tiefling party—we can all agree he’s not having a good time, our friendly neighborhood vampire sulking in particular over the fact that “there’s a worm in [his] brain, [he’s] surrounded by idiots, and all [he] has to drink is wine that tastes like vinegar.” But the delightful thing is he’s complaining so vividly about it. The wine likely is worse at the tiefling party, seeing as they’re refugees, and the goblins had previously captured a duke whom they likely stole loot from and under orders from Minthara et al stored said goods elsewhere for a later date (likely some of said goods were consumed at the party if it happened. Edit: Shadowheart’s drunk dialogue at the goblin party mentions the goblin’s wine there being good, poor dear. Fascinating hints at her story and character in that scene though.) This is assuming Astarion is drinking wine at the goblin party, of course. He may very well be drinking something red and full-bodied there, just not made from grapes. But even in his complaints and presentation, he seems arguably more relaxed and less on guard compared to his demeanor at the goblin party. Let’s be honest, he doesn’t view goblins as equals or stimulating company judging by his various voice lines expressing his disdain, distrust and overall low opinion of them as vermin among other things. The fact that he’s willing to call the tiefling refugees idiots while in earshot of them? Definitely doesn’t respect them as a group—though he has a less negatively opined line regarding them earlier on if the caged goblin (Sazza) is killed,—which is not surprising given that MC and company at the time of the party just saved them from certain death. Astarion’s reaction however also reads as potentially at ease enough to say what he’s thinking. He’s not going to get murdered for saying so, and there aren’t any punishing power games at play with the refugees and do-gooders he’s found himself surrounded by. There aren’t any hedonistic shenanigans going on and the drinks are terrible, so it’s not an entertaining party for him, but one could make an argument that Astarion might actually be feeling more secure or at least less threatened-as-is/was-his-accepted-ongoing-norm there. Which might mean he’s feeling quite out of place, or even just not...entirely engaged with what’s going on around him and even within him as far as emotional states go. Would he casually pull the same stunt at the goblin party? If you’re a bastard to him, yes, but that’s not in the same emotional vein as his dialogue during the tiefling party at all. Loyalty from the goblins is fickle, the goblins worship the Absolute and those that are chosen by the Absolute—so long as said Chosen remain powerful enough to subjugate them and is in favor. Astarion knows this kind of power structure well: ruling by fear and power. With the tieflings? It’s not superiors-and-subordinates, it’s just...people. People celebrating surviving an event that could’ve very well and most likely would’ve ended in their deaths. Will he get to celebrate like that one day? That could very well be a painful and bleak thing to consider, and not something he wants to contemplate as of yet, based on his dialogue lines that demonstrate his fear of Cazador. How’s he supposed to get lost in the fun and revelry if the wine doesn’t even taste good to him? I don’t know wines, but I’m guessing from what little I do know and what I’ve read of flavor descriptors for wines hyped as good, it might actually be bad wine based on the adjective “sharp” when mixed with the rest of the description if the MC takes a sip. Sharp seems to suggest too many tannins, or maybe improper storage so the wine actually did turn to taste a bit more like vinegar, or maybe not enough sugar in the grapes used, perhaps? To be fair, I do believe there’s a non-conversation line somewhere of Astarion’s regarding solid food tasting terrible to him, but I can’t verify that so a pinch of salt there. Still, if his taste buds are aligned with regular living mortal ones for wine at least, RIP Astarion, he’s stuck with a terrible drink for the foreseeable night. Unless, of course, you know. ;D Compared to the tieflings, the goblins as a whole? As a group they’re a scraped together army of pillagers hungry for destruction and spoils. They don’t have ANY loyalty to you—in addition to being willing to betray you via murder immediately despite working with them when Sazza first brings you back to meet Minthara, there’s also when Minthara potentially opts to try to kill you post-goblin-party. If you persuade her not to, Minthara does mention “do not return to the goblin camp, as far as they were concerned you were destined to die tonight.” This is not a group to get chummy with, obviously. Doesn’t say good things about the Absolute’s followers in general, either, or the Absolute depending on if Minthara’s being honest about the Absolute intending that the MC dies after razing the grove. Minthara could just be lying to serve her own ends and is out to destroy any rivals for the Absolute’s favor, after all, I can’t verify that from dialogue exploration at present. So it’s not surprising that this is not a group Astarion is going to let his guard down around I’m sure, or around an MC that sided with the goblins, because fortunes can shift like the wind in a scene like that, and I think his utter lack of surprise at Minthara trying to kill you all (whether or not the MC had a romp with her) is potentially spawned because he recognizes this fact. He’s been here before, in another time, another place, with different faces, but he’s seen this play before. And the MC is just another face for the same old role of a player in this rat race for power when they side with the goblins, aren’t they? The difference this time though is: will they succeed and make it to the top? Is Astarion betting on the winning horse, or not? Far less reason and far more motivation to not be emotionally invested in anyone or anything around him because it’s survival of the fittest, and the most ruthless will be the ones who win—the MC just reinforced that perspective for Astarion, in slaughtering the tieflings. But Astarion isn’t fully corrupted yet, despite however much Cazador has twisted and tormented him so. Isn’t it fascinating, that the MC, one of the first people Astarion can actually interact with relatively freely without Cazador’s puppeteering influence hanging over him quite so acutely, is someone who might very well and very likely will have a huge impact on how Astarion develops and sees the world? For better or for worse, the MC will shape all the companions’ futures and perspectives it seems, depending on their choices. On a meta note, isn’t that thrillingly fascinating and engaging work by Larian Studios? Bravo, honestly. Continuing, for Astarion this could very well just feel like a better but complimentary and thematically continuous segment of the nightmare that is his existence under Cazador as it goes on: he’s a vampire now, and the world is only ever a power struggle between the strong and the weak, and he knows better than to ever be weak again. Kindness and virtue belonged to Before. Before he died, before he turned, before he was taken. Those are things in stories and fairy tales now, that belong to other people, other places and times, other lives—things that belong to the living, not the undead. Sentimentality, more universally-accepted morality, all of those Good™-aligned or softer feelings can feel like they have no place in his world now, on this darker path. But he knows what they are, not just in theory I think, but also perhaps knowing from memory and experience, however distant and faint. The way he speaks on many occasions has subtext that could very well suggest he wasn’t without a better side through implication and emotion. Which is not to say I think he was a shining paragon of virtue before he died—guessing based off of the dev team’s writing of him so far, I’m expecting nuanced and complex but ultimately very human (or elf if you’re being fantasy-based technical) morality with both merits and flaws, for polarizing opinions in the fandom. That being said, I’m holding off judgment on what kind of person he was before he was turned for now despite reading about pre-early-access, preliminary ideas the dev team had for his background. The reason I’m waiting to see what the dev team puts into the game for his backstory of Before, is because some of his datamined lines could be taken in a couple of different ways, and some of his emotional responses as is currently don’t track as truly Machiavellian or I’d say malevolent in nature for manipulation or otherwise. Granted, not all Evil™ acts stem from intentions to be malevolent. Sometimes people do evil both in-game and in life without really intending to, or recognizing that they do, nor seeing the harm they have caused or will cause (I’m looking at you, Mayrina.) Manipulative yes, but so far it’s looked like it’s for defensive purposes in a world that is out to hurt or kill him if given any opportunity whatsoever. Personally I actually wouldn’t even say he’s been really manipulative at all, but your mileage may vary. He lies because he’s afraid you’re going to murder him for being a vampire, and because he doesn’t want to reveal the cause of two centuries’ worth of trauma to someone he just met and likely can’t predict if they’re emotionally safe for him to interact with. Note: “emotionally safe” does not necessarily denote being sympathetic here, so much as “will their response cause me pain in some fashion?” from Astarion’s point of view, which does not necessarily require the MC to be mean to him though obviously that wouldn’t help. We touch upon why sympathy can hurt later on in this essay. And why would he expect sympathy in the other instance, regarding revealing that he’s a vampire? How often would we not murder strange vampires we just met in DND-worlds? Is that not a common response and practice in Faerun for the most part? They’re on the list of acceptable prey for a monster hunter to be kidnapped and taken to who knows what fate (probably nothing good we’re sure), and who would come rescue them? In all actuality: No one. If he wasn’t a companion he’d easily just be one more random encounter to kill—as he and all the companions are in the right circumstances, *cough cough* like when sacrificing anyone to Boooal *cough.* Astarion’s had little cracked moments where he seems to be showing genuine vulnerability, and I’d say he likely displays real genuine emotion plenty of times, just not all the time. While the vulnerable moments could be a ploy, were he the type to actually be fully acting, I’m disinclined to bet that he’d act in the way he does during those moments if he planned them out or even improvised. It could be a mix of both, where it’s both true but also an act of manipulation. Were it the last option, that would require more exploration of his character in various situations to determine imo. I still doubt that though. I think he’s a little too raw and real in his pain, anger, and aggression to say he’s being malevolently manipulative at the end of the day, at least thus far in chapter one. The MC’s choices may change and influence that, on the Evil™ route. I’ve been following some of the fantastic dash discussions on Astarion’s reaction to when the MC tries to comfort him (because of course I have, I’m here for BG3 content and Astarion content especially, aren’t we all here for the same party in his tag? Also hello fellow Astarion stans! :D I hope everyone’s having a good day), and if some of these datamined lines from Pjenn’s blog post are actually implemented and kept as canonical [link], specifically the ones Astarion says regarding heroes, I do think it ties in very strongly with some of what other folks have said regarding his recoiling reaction. Copy-pasted the potential dialogue lines of interest below: Astarion: Heroes. |said with disgust| Astarion: Heroes had two centuries to save me from my torture, but not one came knocking. Astarion: The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came. No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me. Astarion: I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man. It was the mind flayers that plucked me away from that. I very much enjoyed all the takes on Astarion’s potential motivations in his response, and I do want to chuck another idea into the fray that supports the vein of ideas that have him being truly afraid and then angry at the MC in that scene, with the speculation including those possible hero lines above as influence. Specifically, I’d like to bring in an outside comparison to part of Molly Grue’s reaction to seeing the Unicorn from The Last Unicorn animated movie for the first time, transcribed below: The Unicorn: I’m here now. Molly: [Bitter laugh] Oh? And where were you twenty years ago? Ten years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent, young maidens you always come to? How dare you. How DARE you come to me now, when I am this. [begins to cry, heartbroken] Consider Astarion being shown kindness when he is now away from Cazador, not fully free or safe yet but not currently actively fully suffering Cazador’s torment all up close and personal. Consider that only on that very night before he was snatched up by the mindflayers, which might’ve been anywhere from only a day to a handful of days before this conversation about his nightmare, he was going out to falsely smile and lure some innocent—(“No innocents. You have my word.”)—or perhaps not so innocent, beautiful soul back to Cazador’s mansion to very likely die or be turned. How often must he do so? Is it every night he is ordered to go out and condemn someone else to that unfortunate fate? Do you think Cazador killed them cleanly? Quickly? Why would he, instead of agonizingly grinding out any last traces of sympathy his spawn might have through the guilt that they are the ones who “choose” who suffers and likely dies at Cazador’s hands that night? To give the illusion of choice is one abuse/torture tactic that can be used to break a soul that we see often in games: choose who suffers or dies. Cazador is unquestionably a personality who enjoys the psychological aspect of tormenting his victims, as evidenced by giving Astarion the “choice” to be either flayed or to “dine” on a rotting, dead rat, as well as other mentions of how he puts thought into torturing those around him. Astarion is still so fresh from his torment,—torment that is still technically on-going with the very real threats of resuming once more—he is emotionally bleeding enough arterial blood at the seams to fill a sea. His actions, words, and emotions so often metaphorically smell of blood, and not because he’s a vampire and the traditional role of a vampire being a predator among humanoids ironically enough, but because being a vampire spawn means Cazador. And Cazador means horror. Astarion has survived, yes, and it’s been hell. He’s still in hell, because he isn’t free yet. Not truly. It’s a desperate gasp of air, this taste of freedom, to dream that he could be free of Cazador. Imagine his feelings when he’s now in something like freedom, a reminder of what could be, what his life might’ve and likely was like once upon a time, an uncertain here-and-now where he has the possibility—just a possibility, and an unlikely one at that for most ordinary or less-than-ordinary people, not a certainty—of being free, and he’s just admitted to the horror that is Cazador. Admitted in this moment how much Cazador frightens him, how much just the thought of Cazador frightens him, how much the possibility he might be sent back to his master and having his previous tormented existence resumed truly frightens him. And the MC reaches out in sympathy. In acknowledgement that what Astarion has been through is horrifying. To look at this horror and say it is pain, and terror, and awful, that it isn’t normal. It isn’t something to ignore. It isn’t something to pretend is just everyday same old, same old, to numb and take off the edge as much as one can. That Astarion’s pain and fear aren’t to be sought out for entertainment or at best to be willfully neglected in an act of malice. That stark moment of contrast, like night and day, could bring the pain of two hundred years crashing down inside his head, all compressed into one moment. Feelings he tried so hard to survive through, ignore perhaps, suppress: fear, helplessness, loneliness, misery, anger, sorrow, hatred, pain, anxiety, distress, need. Memories, of so many instances that hurt in that moment and then continued to hurt for so long afterwards. How much must it hurt him, wound him, to lift his head for air and have a perspective outside of his suffering that is sympathetic...but knowing that nobody came to save him. That perhaps, no one ever will, if he loses this so-called freedom and is dragged back under. That those that care, cannot help you. And that those that can help, do not care. Why would anyone help him at this point after all? He’s a vampire spawn. A classically defined monster in the eyes of society, and he knows it. (”I’m not some monster!” / ”At best, I was sure you’d say no. More likely you’d ram a stake through my ribs.”) He must have been truly desperate in his starvation to chance anyone finding out he’s a vampire in the party. Not surprising, he can’t rest at the end of the day like the other companions can. He has to expend extra energy at that point to find food discreetly after fighting all day, and subpar food at that. (”Animal blood tastes like muck.” verification needed, it’s a conversational line in some branch of the morning-after he asks to bite the MC the first time) He’s not eating breakfast, snacks or lunch during the day, and he isn’t guaranteed to find food while hunting in the woods. Game might be scarce, he can be wounded or exhausted after a long day of fighting, and he wasn’t starting out in the peak of health to begin with either. He is a vampire spawn yes and apparently can take down large game such as boars to drain them, but that is a rough existence to condemn anyone to mechanically speaking. He knows what he’s risking, regardless of his int stat. But he takes that risk anyway. The character who is so survival driven, risking a very high likelihood of expulsion at best or death as the much-more-likely worst outcome of this attempt? His bite isn’t painless, and pain can wake a person up readily enough if they aren’t a deep sleeper, and how deep a sleeper are most people when in an uncertain and unfamiliar wilderness, potentially while hungry and cold, with the fretting fear of a agonizing death looming over their head? Even accounting for a lack of mental clarity from hunger and exhaustion and other factors, I find it deeply unlikely that Astarion is unaware of how big a risk he’s taking with the odds are stacked against him, rogue class or not. And even if he’s just thrown out of the group? He’s alone. Vulnerable. A target to be hunted by a much bigger, meaner predator. One that won’t kill him quickly, we can guess. His odds are much lower, on his own. Specifically his odds of not being dragged back to Cazador...assuming the MC doesn’t just turn him over to Gandrel. How terrifying is it to imagine that your suffering will never end, to be told it will never end, and then you are reminded of what it is like to not suffer for a time. To have felt the painful hope that maybe there is a possibility that you could escape an existence of torment...but knowing you very well might not? It is desperately bleak. It is no great leap of the imagination to hear Astarion saying—(or more likely thinking because this would be terribly vulnerable...but he might say something when pushed because he’s so full of sharp edges and bleeding insides still)—something similar to Molly Grue’s line in his own fashion, is it? Astarion: “[Bitterly laughing, mockingly so. As he speaks his tone breaks, an edge of raw, desperate hysteria slipping through, attached to centuries of pain turned to anger] And where were you two hundred years ago? A hundred years ago? Where were you when I still desperately thought in the deepest parts of my heart that someone might come? When I still had hope? Astarion: [his voice turns low and venomous, raising in volume and accusation before finishing with a break on the final word “this”, a tonal admittance of how distraught and self-aware he is of what he’s had to do, of what he’s had to become to survive] How dare you. How DARE you say this to me now, when I am this.” (the above lines are entirely fictional and are not from any in-game, data-mined, or otherwise official source or content) He’s been made to do so many terrible things, even just based off of the few lines we have heard in early access he’s been through so much horror. An hour of torture, a day, a month is so incredibly long. It can have such lasting impact on a person—PTSD, as we know it in this day and age. A year? Five years, ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred? An elf he may be, but from a human perspective...he’s been tortured for lifetimes. Even as an elf, two hundred years is a long time. More than long enough to seriously alter how someone’s brain works—people are both amazingly resilient, but also so incredibly fragile. Cazador has had all this time to play with Astarion’s brain, honestly I find it impressive Astarion has any sense of self left after all this time. That he’s still driven to survive, that he still feels anything at all. (”It doesn’t look broken. But then again, none of us do.”) It doesn’t surprise me that he’s intensely bitter when encountering the “paladins” of Tyr—(ie Anders and company if you know who I mean—and was that a Dragon Age 2 reference? If not that is an amazing coincidence with the whole Anders-Justice-Vengeance-Demon thing there)—if the MC asks something to the tune of “Don’t you wish someone had helped you when you needed it?” Oh. Oh that had to be a painful question for him. Astarion had his basic needs denied and abused, to ask if he wished that someone had helped him when he needed that and more, and no one came? Why was he denied but the paladins get help? Why does he have to be the hero when no one came for him, when no one very well might come for him when he might still very well be in dire straits in the near future? I can see the possible desire to inspire sympathy intended in the question from the MC, but it can be so utterly without sympathy to ask that in some contexts, and in Astarion’s case it is. He was being abused and controlled without any way out—Anders and his cohorts opted into the deal with Zariel for personal reasons, not as far as I know under threat of imminent death, and they are relatively capable of fulfilling their end of the bargain barring their current injuries at the time. They certainly have more freedom of choice than Astarion and other vampire spawn ever did, and they were not being tortured right then and there. Warlocks, referring to Anders and co., might even have the option to get out of deals, a la Wyll’s personal questline hook thus far. Astarion can’t get out of his servitude from Cazador. Cazador holds all the cards, makes all the decisions, has all of the power. To compare Astarion’s situation to his face with that of the “paladins”? I’m surprised he wasn’t spitting fury, honestly. They still have normal elements to their day to day life, despite their devil’s deal. They are not being tormented on the daily—yet. They are not in hell—yet. They can get out. They have the possibility. A possibility Astarion didn’t—until now. And isn’t that the most fucked up thing, that it wasn’t a force of Good™ that saved him, but an even bigger monster than Cazador himself? He was saved—by mindflayers, intending some fate that was likely worse for him than before. Even when the Absolute’s hand begins to be revealed in all this, he is still a pawn among monstrous masters. What heroes there are in the world, won’t come for him. They never did before, and they didn’t now. Heroes are for other people, for realities aside from his own. They are for other people, living Other lives. Not his life. Forces of Good™ swooping in to save the day, to correct the wrongs of the world and to make things Right™ just isn’t his normal. Not anymore, if ever it was. His normal was warped by Cazador a long time ago. Is it a stretch of the imagination that if Cazador twisted “dinner” to be a choice between consuming a rotting, putrid rat corpse or being flayed on a nightly basis, turning “poetry” into the memory of a “sonnet” carved into Astarion’s back with a razor over the course of an entire night full of Astarion’s own pained screams? Is it hard to imagine that Cazador also took pleasure in turning other ordinary situations one might encounter in normal life into nightmare versions as well for Astarion and his other spawn? One illithid mind-power option shows Cazador controlling Astarion by holding his chin, though without any further context. Cazador wouldn’t have had to do more than that to invoke terror, after a certain point in time. It seems highly unlikely the gesture wasn’t followed up with more pain, though. Perhaps in that moment when he speaks of his nightmare in the first conversation and the MC reaches out to him in sympathy...Astarion was reminded of something. Multiple somethings, multiple moments, when Cazador reached out to him oh so casually, and it ended in pain and terror. The way the camera is framed as of the current time in early access, the way he flinches away crying “No!” so quiet and low, his eyes wide and staring just so, how he goes so far as to pull back almost entirely out of frame and the camera slowly pans to follow him? Perhaps that is just a stand-in scene, but as it is, even now, it emphasizes that he is I would argue genuinely afraid, and reflexively responding in what is likely his first opportunity to freely respond to his traumatically induced fear. The first opportunity where he wasn’t supernaturally compelled to do exactly as Cazador ordered him to, the first opportunity where he was likely not going to be tormented further for expressing his fear, for having his main tormentor laugh and delight in his distress. The first instance where he for a split second let his guard down, and didn’t expect to be hurt—until the MC reached for him, echoing possible memories of what happened last time someone (Cazador) did that. It’s not Cazador reaching for him. But...it is not Cazador. He doesn’t have to worry about Cazador hurting him right that second, but...will the MC hurt him, like Cazador did? Will they make it look like they’re going to help him, that he can trust them, and then betray him? (”How can you be so cruel?” / “It [Raphael playing games] reminds me of Cazador, taunting his slaves with hope when he knew the game was rigged.”) But they scared him. They scared him, and perhaps for a moment he was back there, in another time and place, where he knows, where he remembers, vividly, perhaps even recently, what normally would have happened to him. And how dare they make him feel that. (“I can do without reliving that particular night, thank you.” [Nightmare about Cazador dialogue, a separate scene if you miss the insight check from the first post-nightmare camp discussion I believe.]) He’s so raw and upset, both aggressive and defensive when he speaks about his nightmares in quite a few of his lines, asking and waiting to explain just why his nightmares are truly so terrifying, especially in the second-nightmare conversation. The way he speaks there, and in other scenes, makes me very disinclined to interpret him as actively intending evil in general so much as having been shaped to be ruthless through a centuries-long trial by fire that he isn’t free and clear of yet. Based off of how he reacts on more than one occasion, I’m personally inclined to take a leaf from Wyll’s book and say I do think he has more than just potential to be good. “Good™” being relative of course to his situation and undead-life—Astarion has GREAT potential as a character to explore not only what it means to be Evil™ aligned, but also what people on the meta perceive as evil, as well as what prejudices we may carry from that labeling. He is I think very much an excellent walking morality test and ironically a mirror for the player’s character. What kind of person is the MC, in how they treat and interact with him. He is a complicated and morally-entangled character, and it is so very easy to only read him in the here and now within the stark, daylight context of societal’s average norms without looking at the very real, very recent nightmarish Twilight Zone reality he’s lived in that echoes through his words and story thus far. It’s a marvelous bit of echoing reality and real life here by Larian, truth be told: how do you tell people about your life, when it’s been a ceaseless, unending nightmare? With smiles, witticisms, and the occasional polished lie that bleeds out pain, for some folks anyway, including Astarion. He says he’s having more fun at the goblin party, but at the tiefling party? That’s probably the first time he’s been at a normal party where he hasn’t had to obey and fear Cazador’s orders and inevitable torment during or afterwards. That’s the first time in his entire undead existence when he’s been in a social situation like this without being afraid, hurt, or manipulated. It’s not a fun party on its own by his standards, but it is a safe party for him. In a way though, safety can be boring. A luxury, yes, but in this case? For him, boring. And boring...might very well be irritating, in an anxiety-turned-irritation fashion, because he’s not being tormented right this very moment. He should be finding something to enjoy, because in his normal everyday routine? In the day to day that he would expect, that his subconscious expects out of habit? Opportunity for any form of enjoyment must be rare indeed, twisted and tainted by Cazador’s ever looming shadow over every minute of Astarion’s vampiric existence so far. It could be anxiety-inducing, to not seek pleasure or some form of happiness or comfort while there is opportunity for it, in what one perceives as a respite from constant, on-going suffering. (”Why do you insist on exhuming the past?” - when you ask about his past in camp, after you know he’s a vampire. An unpleasant reminder of an unpleasant past, why would he want to dwell on it? He has enough pain to last him multiple lifetimes. Literally.) From the deep, deep depths of prolonged suffering, it can potentially take a great deal more intensity of sensation to feel anything at all, let alone something approaching happiness. (”For the first time in two hundred years, I felt happy.” [presumed Astarion-origin line after drinking from a sleeping companion] / “I feel strong. I feel...happy!” [after MC succeeds in persuading Astarion to stop drinking from their neck after giving him permission to do so.]) This isn’t even taking into consideration how vampirism might have impacted Astarion’s psychology on a metabolic/biochemical level, so to speak. Where Larian goes with that is still to be determined, though my money’s on they give him more a murderous edge and natural inclination—not unlike a Beast-lite version of bloodlust from Vampire: The Masquerade— but still keep his core traits very much human rather than supernaturally-alien/2D-cut-out-monstrous. (Or elvhen, if we’re being fantasy-world-linguistically technical here again.) Touching on the matter of monstrous behavior though...It is a powerfully understated moment of casual cruelty that Larian allows the MC to decide once and once only, if Astarion may also drink from people or only animals. It’s so fitting I don’t believe it to be coincidence that he was a magistrate in his backstory—isn’t the MC passing a judgement too on him, a sentence to change his life for the foreseeable future, possibly forever without realizing or perhaps not caring about the full extent of their actions? And one cannot forget Wyll’s comment about the rat diet. Oh, can you not hear the resonating parallel real life pain from how those ignorant of another’s hurts might unintentionally mock the person and hurt them so? How some might apply their own morality from their own life experiences, without looking at the full extent of the consequences of their actions? A life and perspective that more likely has never been tested under the lash and upon the rack of some of life’s worst possible realities? Even if Wyll and the MC don’t mean to be, it is so very, very cruel. It is beautifully painful, Abdirak and the goddess Loviatar would be proud. (”My mind is finally clear. I feel strong. I feel...happy!”) To be denied not just better food, but the ability to think clearly, to feel well, the actuality of being happy as a norm? It is so very hollow an existence to feel so constantly weak of both body and mind, and oh isn’t it just the richest thing, that an MC might echo Cazador’s choice and power over Astarion thusly? It’s enough to make one laugh an Evil Laugh™ of appreciation at just how unthinkingly, horribly cruel a person can potentially be while playing a Good™ character. This is actually a level of genius on Larian’s part that I wonder how many in the audience will actually look at and appreciate the subtle horror of. The horror that we do this too, in real life, sometimes without ever knowing the seemingly small, far-reaching ripples of harm an unthinking phrase or comment can do when we don’t take another’s reality into consideration—that we don’t know what it is we don’t know. It is a fine piece of storytelling, to offer up a story with so many facets to reflect upon. It’s so beautifully crafted that Astarion speaks and dresses like a noble, that he can so easily be perceived as a person of privilege at first glance should one merely look at some of his surface behaviors and inclinations—remnant trappings of his distant past most likely, from once upon a time. It’s a delightful reveal and subversion that he, I think we can safely say, isn’t that. Perhaps he was, once, but he isn’t at this point in his life, not anymore. Appearances are deceiving, and doesn’t that just tie so nicely right into some of Astarion’s potential themes and behaviors? The lies that crack open as truth and pain come bleeding out from underneath? I do wonder how many of Larian’s audience have known hunger—and not known when the next meal will happen, what it might be, if it will have strings attached? The kind of hunger that follows you everywhere, that roots down into your bones and hollows out a home there forever more? It changes how a person sees things, how they act, how they think, even when they’re removed from being hungry all the time. One doesn’t need to be skin and bones to feel like one is starving constantly,—(I very much enjoy that headcanon just to clarify, I’m not intending to throw shade in any of this or future rambling)—to be kept on a hollow diet of empty calories that are enough to keep your heart pumping, but your body struggles because it doesn’t have the nutrients it needs in the amounts it needs? To feel your mind fog over with exhaustion and blanketed despair, a primal and low level desperation whittled down into a tired and numb, anxious background static from adrenal fatigue? Miscellaneous aches, pains and problems that seem unrelated but in reality, if only you knew, were because your body can’t function the way it should ideally, because you don’t have what you truly need? A very real problem in real life, for far too many people. And oh, the beautiful, casual, so very human monstrousness Larian lets us exercise here, knowing or unknowing. It is such a powerful, understated cluster of ideas. And I think Larian knew—someone on the dev team did their homework on both traditional starvation but also what one might call masked-starvation as no doubt other tumblr folks have also speculated, just based off of what we’ve seen and because of that Happy buff Astarion gets when he uses his Vampiric Bite ability in combat. It fits right into his whole theme of “what makes a monster and what makes a man?” (Sing the bells of Notre Dame~♪) But not necessarily asking that question only of him. Rather, asking it also of the MC. This fits into the game’s whole theme with the tadpoles, the choice of using the power and turning into “Something More Beautiful” as Minthara put it, of taking the darker path, it all fits so very well. I just want to applaud this because it’s not a major story-beat moment. It’s a companion-side-quest moment. It’s going to be for the most part seen as a combat-game-mechanic and head-canon defining moment, deciding if Astarion may feed on people or not. I doubt we’d see Larian actually changing Astarion’s demeanor much in how he delivers lines with a “allowed to drink people blood” code flag, as cool as that might be. It very well could factor into later outcomes but for voice acting I doubt they’ll make an entire second/third/etc set of each line spawning from that one seemingly small choice. It makes me very hopeful that Larian can handle such weighty themes so deftly thus far—we’ll have to wait and see if they can stick the landing once the game is finished, but boy oh boy their nuance and delivery so far is strong as steel and sharp as a double-edged sword right out of the gate. The studio is in a fantastic position to explore and to challenge people’s thoughts and ideas regarding character builds like Astarion’s imo, depending on how the dev team chooses to play it out. Seeing some of Gale and Shadowheart’s dialogue trees from the goblin party, I have high hopes that the dev team will allow a great deal of exploration and flexibility all across the moral spectrums, not only allowing us the option to drag the more seen-as-good-aligned characters down paths of moral corruption,—(note: I’m including Shadowheart in more neutral-ish territory for now but the fact that she seems to feel emotionally ill—guilty, one could say—at the goblin party and is busy trying to get drunk to drown that feeling out suggests to me she Definitely does have a more good-aligned moral compass to a nuanced degree)—but also the chance to drag more seen-as-evil-aligned characters along the path to more traditionally good endings and persuade them to see the benefits of playing nice with others per more classic Good™ societal rules (subjectively speaking ofc.) But Larian is also in a very precarious place too—speaking strictly of just the one character as the focus of this essay, Astarion resonates very easily through that very real fear, pain, anger, bitterness and so many other emotions as a result of what he has survived, is still surviving through, and struggling against: trauma. How bitter indeed would it be should a character—that people with very deep, real pain can relate to—not get at least the option for a well-crafted, hopeful and merciful epilogue? Oh the sympathetic pain that Larian could reap could be pain of the very worst kind, if they condemn him to only death and darkness with bleak endings that lack nuance and care. I’ve seen some posts where people worry about Astarion not potentially having a good ending, with possible unspoken implications that he might be railroaded into betraying the MC. I’d like to say that I think a lot of his subtext, even looking at the instances where he lies and the datamined details of the voice-acting-directions, would run counter to railroading him to only ever betraying the MC. I think straight betrayal is going to run as mostly antithetical to his core themes in a way. He might betray your MC—but it will likely be because the MC betrayed him first in a myriad of small ways, or in a big way. Approval-rating-system based choices are a very real possibility too, separately or as a part of the equation naturally, in addition to your major in-game choices. That would also include the scenario of betrayal through using the tadpole powers enough to be mind-controlled into having no will of his own, much like the other characters, including the MC. I do think we have plenty of good, solid reason to be very hopeful that he will have a possible good continuation—not ending. A continuation where he manages to free himself from Cazador with the help of his companions or perhaps dare he even say friends, manages to begin the process of healing the immediate pains of his trauma and learning how to truly live with all that he’s been through and all that he’s done, to have the possibility of not only living but living both happily and well for the most part? Who knows what else Larian Studios might have in the works for him and the other companions, as well as the MC and the story of Baldur’s Gate 3. But good outcomes for all seems like it very likely could happen, for all of the companions. His wiki page’s summary tagline hook in particular offers up that implied promise from the developers to the audience, I would say, “Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” What that promise is, varies from creator to creator. In this case, based on the wording, I would say that potentially implies a satisfyingly well-crafted and engaging story wherein we find out and determine if the answer to that question is yes or no, and in a DND-based RPG full of choices that have an impact on the people and world around you? In a game genre that has a history of multiple, varied endings for your companions based on how you play? That checks out. Larian so far has been handling things admirably well in my opinion, and I’m willing to invest emotionally in this story they’re telling with the trust that they will deliver a good continuation and conclusion. But on the off-chance that somehow Astarion’s endings all turn out painful and tragic on the meta for the fanbase, that the associated intentional or unintentional messages wound and grieve those who recognize and resonate most strongly with the pains he has felt? On that off-chance, in that instance where we are left bereft and disappointed because of what happened to him or any of the companions or the story itself should somehow things go awry, then it would be your right to ask Larian the very same question Astarion asked you once: How can you be so cruel?

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #spoilers #bg3 spoilers #Astarion #character study #long post #very long post #eXtreme rambling ahoy #speculation #congrats if you can read this all #totally understandable if it's too much text tho #it's long enough and rambly enough that it wandered away from the limits I intended #because I have FEELINGS about this gremlin vampire man #cackles madly #maybe the vampire will stop haunting my brain for a bit now #I have other things to do #aside from writing long contemplation pieces #prepare the angst-grapple-hooks crewmates #why yes I'm going to make silly jokes about pirates and sailing and the like #no I do not have any depth to my knowledge base about such things #I just like their hats man #arr #also not looking to make anyone feel bad or invalidate their hcs or opinions #just want good vibes for all #and more cakes for all #metaphorically speaking #the cake is not a lie tho #well #metaphorically it's not a lie

122 notes · View notes

deobitchxx · 4 years

Text

Hi there! Can I get a request for hyunjae where he shops and chooses lingerie online with his gf and having discussion on which ones to get + buy for her + a slight soft smut? Thank youu!! Stay safe please!

[ 22:08 // 12.10.2020 // R.SMUT ] It was another day of quarantine and not gonna lie, you started to get bored with it. Staying in the shared apartment with your loved one is sure a good thing, but the fact that you can’t get out to capture things for your Instagram feeds is driving you insane. You are an influencer, you have to update your Instagram for every single day. Puffing your lower lips out, you let out a heavy sigh before throwing your body on the long sofa, resting your head on Hyunjae’s laps. “What’s wrong, love? Rough day?” His soothing voice is enough to calm you, the way he gently stroked your cheeks was the cherry on top. You gave the latter a nod, “We need to get out from this apartment, it’s slowly intoxicating me.” “Be grateful honey. There are homeless people who wish to have their own houses now,” he left a peck on your forehead before proceeding to scroll things on his phone.

You groaned at his response and rolled your eyes, there won’t be a time where he can’t joke around with you. You shifted to lay on your left side of your body, grabbing the remote control nearby and began to channel switch, trying to find the proper television show that was good for you to watch. The way your mouth opened wide to form an obvious yawn made it clear that you’re going through another boring day, having the slightest hope that the young man could do something with it. Instead, Hyunjae kept his concentration more on his phone and his lips often shaped a bright but mischievous smile, as if he was having a side chick behind you. You bleated under your breath, “Geez, your girlfriend is right here yet you focus on your phone more.”

The voice of yours might be quiet, but the bigger figure seemed to catch on as he shifted his attention on you back. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” You glared at him and raised your voice out of displeasure, “Yes, I hate you.” Standing up and wearing your house slippers, you stomped all the way to the room and slammed the door loudly, showing your anger towards Hyunjae. “At least try to read the situation, ugh.” Once again, you rolled your eyes to the back and threw your lazy body on the bed. Lying on your stomach, you aggressively kicked the air out of frustration. You let out a heavy sigh, staring blankly on the wall and mumbled, “What’s so good about his phone anyways..”

While on the other side, Hyunjae was still speechless and dumbfound with your sudden mood swing. “What’s with her.” Blinking his eyes for a few times as he tried to keep up with the reality, taking a quick glance over the door of the bedroom. “I’m pretty sure she’s not in her periods,” he furrowed his eyebrows and turned his attention to his phone. He was actually online window shopping since it was hard for him to get out during the lockdown. At first, he was searching for random furniture and he didn’t know how he ended up in the women section, more specifically women’s lingeries. Even though his eyes completely glued on his phone screen, his mind can’t stop bringing him into fantasies.

He started to imagine how your body perfectly pulled off the black coloured of plunge bra with suspender belt underwear, hiding them with his favourite hoodie. Bending down to grab something inside the cabinet, purposely letting him see the underneath. He even imagined you wearing those satin chemises, lying on the bed while waiting for him to finish his late night shower. Fuck, even those thoughts managed to arouse him. The grip on his phone tightened, as Hyunjae went to the bedroom and opened the door, seeing the sulking you on the bed, avoiding his eye contact.

He cleared his throat, closing the door behind and took a seat on the bed, right next to your body. “Hey, are you alright?” He used his other hand to rub your back, but you were quick enough to slap his arm away, the action itself told him that you were still angry. “Come on, I’m sorry that I was on my phone too much.” He puffed out his lower lips, gently tucked your hair behind your ear from blocking Hyunjae seeing your well defined facial features. “Forgive me, hm?” You replied to him with silence at first, but you knew you can’t keep on getting mad on him, especially when he was this cute just for you. You folded your legs to heel sit next to him and opened your arms, “Hug me.”

A sheepish chuckle escaped from the young man, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him. The corner of your lips formed a quick smile as you moved closer to him, rolling to sit on his laps while wrapping your arms around his neck, resting your face on his shoulder. Both of you stayed like that for a while before Hyunjae started to rub your back in a circle, “Babe..” He called you out as you replied to him with a hum. He gently pulled you and unlocked his phone, showing to you the thing that he found online. “I.. I’m thinking to buy this for you,” the way he confessed his sin was unbelievably adorable as if he was a kid who just stole the candy from his older sibling. You tee-heed, leading the latter to raise his eyebrow out of curiosity.

“So were you online window shopping the whole time? My bad for thinking that you have another girlfriend by your side.” Your eyes were almost nowhere to be seen as you grinned brightly, snatching the phone away from Hyunjae and scrolled his shopping list. “Woah, you sure browsed a lot. From living room furniture to women lingeries,” you clicked your tongue and looked up to face him, showing him the screen. “I like this one, can you buy this for me?” It was the satin chemise that he imagined you in it. A smile creeped out from his lips as he nodded, “That would totally look great on you.” He scrolled to another page and now the phone was facing you, “How about this one? I’m sure you’ll look great in it.”

It was the red coloured of a triangle bra with a thong, waiting for your response to it. You bit your lower lips and turned your attention to the man, “I have an identical one just like that, and I’m wearing it now..” The sudden smirk on his lips made you furrow your eyebrows as he leaned closer to whisper right next to your ears, “I know, because I’m going to fuck you with the one that you have now.” Without waiting for your response, he rolled and placed you on the bed, his palms supported the weight of his whole body while he intensely stared down to your eyes. “I’m horny you know.”

“Yes I know, who wouldn’t get horny imagining their spouse in underwear? I would do the same thing too whenever I buy briefs for you,” the boldness in you made you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Smiling into the kiss, he tilted his head to the other side to deepen the kiss while his hand went up to caress your cheek. You suppress a moan once you feel his lips on your jawline, travelling down to your neck before landing on your collarbone. While planting sloppy kisses all over your skin, his hands nudged the hem of your shirt, asking for permission to take it off. You gave him a nod as he didn’t waste another second and immediately rolled the shirt out from your upper body, along with your shorts.

He pulled away, taking a glance over your almost exposed body. “Damn baby, I wonder how many times will your body excite the man in me.” His hands went to cup your breasts, making you gasp and throw your head to the back. The way he gripped and knead your breasts were so insanely good, it almost made you cum untouched. “H-Hyunjae..” you wailed, hoping the latter will do something with the current state of yours. He let out a chuckle and left a peck on your lips, “Ride me baby, I know how well those hips can do.”

Sitting on the bed with his legs wide spread and leaning his back against the bed frame, you crawled to straddle his laps and wrapped your legs around him after taking the shirt and boxer off from him. Your hands can’t stop itself moving from touching his well defined abs, lips won’t stop chasing after his. “Greedy enough huh?” You hummed in response, you were surely a mess in-front of him and he didn’t matter at all. While you were sucking his collarbone and moving your hips in circles on his thighs, he pumped his dick in a rush before holding your waist, halting your movement. Pulling your underwear to the side without taking it off, you bring yourself down on his dick.

Both of you let out a gasp, as you took your time from sitting down on his thighs. He was still holding the sides of your body, as you rested your hands on his chest, eyes tight closed due to the waves of pleasures that almost hit your entire body. You started to bounce on his laps, letting the man let out a shaky moan and bit his lower lips. “Damn my baby, you are always the best at riding me.” You nodded before proceeding to ride his dick, bouncing and moving in circles to create more pleasures for both of you. The way his grips starten to get harsh on your body thrilled you, encouraged you to move more harder and shaper.

“I’m c-cuming, a-ahh.” You let out a satisfying groan as the way you bounced on his dick becoming lazily fast, you were trying to catch your own orgasm. Hyunjae rolled you over, letting you lay on the bed as he pulled your legs up to his shoulders, pounding into your tight pussy. He moved his hips speedily and skillfully in inhuman speed, bringing each of you close to the ecstasy. “Hyunjae a-ahh, I’m close,” his name rolled off from your swollen lips like a mantra, as he growled and thrusted his hips harder, the sounds of skin slapping almost dominated the whole room.

The sharp moan of yours indicated that you reached your high, but the latter didn’t bother it at all and still moved his shaft into your pussy. You were crying over the stimulation, gripping his shoulder as it surely will leave a mark on the next day. “Argh,” he let out a groan as soon as he reached his high, taking out his dick and pumped it a few times, shooting his load on your red coloured thong. He sighed in relief, catching his own breath and lazily threw his body next to yours. He looked at his other side, seeing you move your chest up and down to catch the oxygen. He nuzzled into your neck, arm dangerously sneaked to wrap your waist, his hand rubbed your clothed core, spreading the cum all over your thong. “H-Hyunjae, s-stop.” You grabbed his wrist, halting before you might overstimulate yourself. “Better let the cum on your thong, don’t wash it off honey.” With that, he playfully slapped your core before leaving a peck on your lips.

121 notes · View notes

idontblushsrry · 3 years

Note

If you’re taking requests could you do Pynk!Yoongi x reader with the prompts “oh, remember when you used to wear that all the time? Good times.” and if you could combine this one with “did that person just take a picture of us?” Too that would great 💕 And I just wanted to let you know that you are a really underrated writer (and a fantastic one at that ) that I wish more people knew about 💕🥺

Awww Thank you so much! This really made my day like you have no idea lol

“oh, remember when you used to wear that all the time? Good times.” + “did that person just take a picture of us?”||M.YJ

(edited the words some for sake of flow in terms of story telling and what not)

Word Count:1290

Warnings: Sex toy(remote cotrol vibrator), slight dom/sub dynamics (if u squint really hard) , kinda just typed this up, cumming in pants, semi-public sex, slight voyeurism i think that’s all

A/N: This went in a completely different direction than what I was kind of intending tbh but I’m happy with how it turned out. This takes place in the same universe as Pynk btw. Enjoy reader being a simp for Yoonji yall

Min Yoonji is a menace to society you’ve decided. Sure she was an ACTUAL menace to society what with her business dealing in organized crime in the underworld and the shadows that came with it. Yes she is a menace to society but in this moment her inconveniencing you was more of a pressing issue than whatever the fuck random topic she was going on about to distract you from the buzzing in your pussy. Sure, you did ask for this but you know how they say hindsight is 20/20?

When you first met her Yoonji was so sweet. You never imagined that the pretty girl in the cafe you frequented would be capable of such...terror?Destruction? A pulse from the toy inside you as it shifts to a higher setting.

Ah, that’s right torture would be more fitting here.

Here she is, your lovely girlfriend looking at you with a calculated innocence. The silence of her unanswered question hanging in the air. Fuck, she wants an answer.

“U-um what… what was that?”

“I said, remember you used to wear stockings all the time? Good times.”

Now that takes you back.

When you first saw her she seemed so unbothered. As if no matter anyone else’s issues, time would halt for her while she finished her drink and croissant. She moved with an ease that should’ve made you think immediately of how different your statuses must've been. Instead it made you want to get closer to her; to approach her and ask how she made as mundane an action as swiping on her phone put the grace of the most talented ballet dancers to shame. Everything she did was measured as if she knew at every instant exactly how long her actions would take.

It drew you in more than you cared to realize. As embarrassing as it is, her grace was one of the reasons you wanted to know her better. The moment her time was interrupted (and your spell broken) by a phone call on her end, you felt decidedly disappointed but not heartbroken.

It wasn’t until she returned the week after that on the same day that you decided to invest in yourself to make yourself confident enough to even breathe near her. And after that second encounter with her you and your friend went to the store where you would purchase your first pair of stockings.

“Ah yeah the s-stock...ings.” you managed to whimper out. At this point you began trembling and although she hadn't asked for any further elaboration you were near your peak and not really thinking rationally. Just trying to throw out whatever would make you cum faster. “Y...You know I only wore those for you.”

A silence that occurs alongside a quirk of Yoonji’s eyebrow followed by the vibrations of the vibrator slowing to a dreadful stop. “Oh really, what do you mean princess?”

You curse Yoonji mentally and your earlier self for manifesting this albeit later and at an unwanted time. Still, Yoonji wants an answer and she’ll delay your orgasm until she gets it. “Well I- I thought you were so pretty but out of my league.” you pause hoping that would satisfy her but the silence lets you know that she wants you to continue even without looking at her or any verbal confirmation. “S-so I thought that maybe if I wear stockings then she’ll think I’m classy like her and wanna go o- on a date with me.”

When she doesn’t respond you look up from the table you'd been death gripping to see she’s staring at you with this look of adoration. It’s a bit pitying as though she finds your past self’s train of thought hilariously stupid (which admittedly… it kind of was based on what your relationship is), but overall so...loving. When Yoonji looks at you like you could do no wrong you truly feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Moments like these make you feel like you’re worthy of Yoonji’s time. Not that she’s ever made you feel inferior but that she’s a busy woman who’s important, beautiful, wealthy, and confident and out of all the people in the world she chooses to be here with you. She enjoys your company more than anyone else in the world and that alone makes you feel better than anything that’s ever been told to you

“Come here my love.” She scoots her chair back and pats her lap and honestly all she had to do was say my love and you were hers. You briefly wonder if she’s aware of how much you’re wrapped around her finger before remembering that you’re the same person who begged her to stick a remote control vibrator inside of you.

You walk over to her and rest your knees on either side of her body, it’s a little cramped in the small chair, but you manage. She cups your ass with her long fingers and turns the vibrator back on.

Your legs shake immediately at the stimulation and your head falls to her neck as she massages circles into your ass.

You hump the air, trying to get some friction, but Yoonji’s in no rush to aid you by moving her thigh upwards some. Despite this, electricity shoots through your toes and up your spine and you grip your fingers into Yoonji’s hair. “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“There’s no one here, cum for me.”

“But-”

“I said,” she retorts, turning up the vibrator to the max setting allowed “Cum for me princess.”. She sticks her hands down your pants and squeezes, now unhindered by your jeans. You abandon all pretenses of modesty and cum for her right there in your fucking pants. You came with a shout and a wild bucking of your hips to which she responds by lowering the intensity on the toy and pressing delicate kisses to your neck while whispering gentle and soothing words into your ear.

You cum and it’s like all good sense returns to you as soon as you feel how soaked your panties are. “Yoonji, why’d you let me do that? Now I’m gonna have to walk around like a penguin for the rest of our date.” you pout and in that moment Yoonji thinks you couldn’t look anymore perfect. Carefully laid edges starting to come undone with the sweat, pouty, lipgloss rubbed off but somehow still managing to shine so beautifully in the sun. It’s almost laughable how quickly you revert to being bratty after getting your way.

“I can always buy you new ones.” she offers pragmatically.

“But baby”, you bury your head into her neck, “I liked-” -click- you freeze, feeling a multitude of emotions but mortification does a good job encapsulating the way you feel. You frantically assess the situation around you looking for any one person to blame. “D-did someone just take a picture of us?”

The way Yoonji moves is surprisingly unbothered and you look up to see her phone camera pointed at your face. Well, that solves that. She takes a picture of your confusion before wrapping her blazer around your waist and directing her personal waitstaff to escort you to the bathroom and provide you with a fresh change of clothes.

You depart with a quick peck on the lips and promise to be right back. She waves and smiles at you until you’re forced to turn around to be led into her manor.

She turns around searching the endless expanse of the view from her balcony as though she’s already pinpointed her target, something- no someone, she grimaces before growling out, “Now then, who the hell is trying to intrude on my time with my girlfriend”.

#yoonji x reader #yoonji smut #yoonji fic #min yoonji imagines #yoonji imagines #black reader #x black reader #asks are open rn so feel free to request #they'll be closing soon #ask #request #anon request #idontblushsrry

82 notes · View notes

tagsecretsanta · 3 years

Text

From @Gumnut-Logic

to @such-a-random-rambler

Sorry for the wait Random-rambler! I hope you enjoy it :) And a humongous thank you to Nutty for jumping in to help <3

Secret Santa does not own this work, full credit to the author above!

Title: Tactics

Author: Gumnut

Spoilers & warnings: None so far.

Author’s note: This one has been fun to write. There will be more. Theoretically, only one more chapter, but who knows with my muse.

The prompts were:

Fight in the snow, snowball or otherwise

Hat/gloves/scarf

Suits

I’ll let you work out which I included :D

Many, many thanks to @tsarinatorment for the extensive plotwork to stimulate my migraine fogged brain and to @scribbles for reading ::hugs you both so much:: Couldn’t do it without you. Also, thanks to @tagsecretsanta for all their hard work putting this challenge together.

Merry Christmas to you and a safe and well new year as well ::hugs::

I hope you enjoy this :D

-o-o-o-

It was ever so quiet.

Gordon slipped between the snow-laden pines on silent feet. Dressed head to toe in white, he was a ghost against the landscape.

The mission was simple. Get in, nab the target, get out.

He had the training and experience and he had an intimate knowledge of his opponents.

A sudden movement off to his left and he froze. His eyes darted between the trees.

A snow hare bounced off into the distance, throwing up puffs of white powder.

Gordon shifted the pack on his back, his gloved hand armed and ready at moment’s notice.

But there was no notice.

The first volley hit him from the opposite direction. How the hell? But he didn’t get a chance to ask as he was pummelled to the ground.

-o-o-o-

It went against his grain, but Virgil was desperate. He knew he was considered the weak spot in this campaign and honestly, he was. But there was value in his knowledge and while he wasn’t really known for a lack of confidence, his lack of military experience niggled at the back of his mind.

His brothers certainly valued his skill set, but he knew they thought he was a softy…and rightly so. He was going to make the attempt anyway.

After all, his skill set was definitely useful in any situation and it gave him a chance at least.

So, his first victory meant a lot.

He shifted the weapon and stepped forward, his exo-suit whispering, his massive snowshoes compensating for his weight. It had been a fifty-fifty gamble on whether he should use his exo-suit for this or not. The advantages had slowly outweighed the disadvantages when his new weapon came to mind.

He smiled just a little to himself as he shifted the gun on his shoulders and made his way towards his target.

And thanked every defensive process he had put in place when he was suddenly attacked from the air.

-o-o-o-

Alan was having the time of his life.

He let out one hell of a whoop as he dove at his second eldest brother, launching a massive bomb of snow at just the right point to topple him in his exo-suit. The man was like a bug on its back, flailing in the white powder. Why Virgil thought the clunky thing would be useful in this scenario was beyond Alan.

His astroboard on the other hand was definitely an advantage and he had just proved the point.

Looping for a return volley and to make his grab for his brother’s flag, he wasn’t prepared for exactly why Virgil was garbed in metal. A wide-ended barrel was suddenly pointing directly at him, tracking…

The sudden rain of snowball machine gun fire hit Alan hard, toppling him into a spin that had him blessing not only his collision avoidance software, but his electrostatic grip on his board. If he let out a yelp, he wasn’t going to admit it. After all, he was a veteran of both Halley’s Comet and the occasional asteroid belt. This should be a piece of cake.

But yeah, he yelped and darted away as the stream of snowballs followed him.

Okay, perhaps Virg wouldn’t be as easy as he thought.

But this was no different from a video game, really. Regroup, grab more ammo, attack again.

After all, there were three other brothers to take out.

Alan grinned.

-o-o-o-

Scott Tracy was used to being in the know. Knowing the exact situation, and knowing what he needed to do next.

The lack of a connection to Thunderbird Five rankled him more than he realised it would. He missed his eye in the sky.

He needed a strategy, but in order to build one, he needed to know the players.

Of course, he could just barrel on in and play it by the seat of his pants, it wouldn’t be the first time. But the stakes were too high. Far too high.

So, he opted for reconnaissance first.

One’s drones had a stealth mode and built-in camo, so he was using them to his advantage. Hunkered down in his chosen lair, he deployed them across the landscape, their holographic readouts projecting from his wrist control.

His frown was causing his forehead to ache.

He located his first opponent quite easily. He wasn’t bothering to hide, much. But that was typical. Virg played his games on his sleeves, pretty much like he did everything else. He wasn’t much for stealth.

But then he made up for it in brute force. Just look at his ‘bird. There was no way he was going to discount his second eldest brother. He watched as Virgil pulled himself out of a snow drift with his grapple and swung between the pine trees like some kind of mechanical monkey.

He was very surprised when he found what looked to be Gordon. It appeared he had already encountered one of the others and was sitting on his butt in the snow.

His frown increased. Now that was unusual. He had expected that brother to be troublesome and certainly not taken out already, much less by Virgil.

Hmmm…over confidence perhaps?

But then Gordon got up and started moving again. Hmmm, perhaps not as down for the count as he thought.

Heat signatures danced about the hologram as the drones skimmed across the top of the forest.

But only three brothers.

One was notably absent.

Scott’s frown threatened to rupture a blood vessel. That was a serious concern. The fourth was not to be underestimated.

It almost distracted him enough to miss the incoming bogey.

Shit.

He had dug himself a snow cave in the hope to hide from the technique he was actually employing, but then Alan...it had to be Alan, he could spot his flying style from a mile off…obviously had his own ways of gathering intel.

Scott grabbed his bag and slipping out of his cave took a running leap and shot up into the air, jetpack flaring.

Better to offend than defend.

Alan literally cackled as he swooped in, a massive chunk of snow in his hands.

Scott grit his teeth. The astroboard was faster and more manoeuvrable than his jetpack, but Scott spoke atmosphere while Alan spoke space.

The eldest darted into his little brother’s flight path and forced him to dodge. Alan squawked and spun in the air, but recovered quickly, flipping in a loop-de-loop that brought him back onto Scott’s tail, snow bomb still at the ready.

Alan cackled as he bore down on him.

Over-confidence, little bro, over-confidence.

Scott curled himself into a ball, killed his jet pack and let himself roll into a drop.

The wind whistled in his ears.

Right angle, right position just above the tree tops, and he kicked his jet pack back in and shot off in the complete opposite direction.

He grinned as his brother squawked again.

Gravity, little bro, gravity.

But Alan was smart and he recovered quickly again, this time using speed to his advantage.

Faster than Scott.

It rankled.

Really, it rankled.

Scott dodged, but Alan had the vehicular advantage.

Scott had experience, but Alan learned damned fast.

By the third time he had had to defensively dodge, Scott was mired by both pride in his little brother and a little desperation. He really needed to up his game or he was in some serious trouble.

Killing his jet pack again, he let himself drop enough to get a good view of the underside of Alan’s board before he swooped to follow Scott down. Grabbing his grapple gun and slapping a pack in with practised ease, Scott aimed and fired at his brother’s astroboard.

There was a satisfying clunk as the grapple secured.

Scott held back a smirk as he let himself swing like a pendulum from the underside of Alan’s support craft, throwing out its balance and sucking away some speed.

Of course, he wasn’t enough to slow it down much…well, until he got himself into the right angle and fired up his jetpack again.

Then it became a tug of war.

With the grapple clipped to his belt, he was at leisure to direct where his pull was coming from and although the astroboard had more guts than his jetpack, it only took a little physics and angle calculation to really throw the board off its flight path.

Of course, if this wasn’t his brother and this wasn’t a snowball fight initially instigated by Gordon nearly drowning John in tree snow, he would have already taken the astroboard rider out of the equation. But this was Alan, they were daring but not stupid, and really, it was just a training exercise.

An extreme training exercise.

Didn’t stop Alan from reaching under his board and dislodging the grapple.

Scott’s eyes widened. How the hell??

But he had bigger things to worry about as he was suddenly hurtling towards the nearest tree.

Experience, experience! And that was all that saved him from a pine needle faceplant.

His grapple retracted with a swift zip as Alan darted off into the distance.

Okay, perhaps he did underestimate his little brother just a bit.

-o-o-o-

“Eos, location on Alan?”

“He appears to be retrieving more ammunition.”

John’s fingers poked at his tablet, his bolthole lit up by flickering hologram. “Making more snowballs?”

“Large ones.”

“And Scott?”

“Has returned to the surface, but appears to be…pacing.”

John looked up. “What?” Another poke at his tablet and he brought up the drone’s display and sure enough Scott was walking a groove into the snow he was standing on. He had seen that movement many times before. Scott was thinking, scheming…planning. “Keep an eye on him. Let me know if he makes a move.”

“FAB.”

John returned to his tablet and the multiple displays from all the technology deployed by his brothers. Scott’s drones were definitely the most useful, giving him the eye in the sky he was forbidden by the rule of no Thunderbirds.

Gordon could be seen scampering away from where Virgil had torpedoed him into a snowdrift. Virgil was on approach again, snowball machine gun at ready. It would be interesting to see who would win that encounter. Gordon was military, but Virgil was stubborn to the extreme.

And Virgil was the challenge.

His engineer brother knew him too well and had pretty much hack-proofed his equipment. John was sure he could get in given enough time, but as always, time was a consideration. He had no doubt that given that time, Virgil would track him down and bust into his little hidden fortress and then John was screwed. Virgil the big softy or no.

So, he was relying on his brothers to take Virgil out.

He had no doubt they would and he just had to stay put in the meantime.

Easy, really.

-o-o-o-

Two brothers targeted, neither captured.

Virgil grit his teeth.

The word was definitely out about his snowball cannon now so the element of surprise was gone. That would likely be bad. He had hoped to take down at least one brother with that surprise, but no go.

No matter. He still had the cannon and it was very effective.

He made it back to where he had pummelled Gordon, but there was no sign of his aquanaut brother. Alan was likely still in the air and Virgil had no doubt that Scott was probably using a similar tactic. So, bar finding Gordon who was likely on the defensive already, John was the next obvious target.

The question was how to find him.

The terrain assigned to this exercise was quite large. The land was part of a complex owned by Tracy Industries in Canada. Their family often came up here for vacations in the snow, usually around Christmas. While they generally couldn’t shut down International Rescue on Christmas due to the collective idiocy of the human population of the planet, Grandma did demand that at least one weekend in the months of December or January be put aside for the family to celebrate.

Scott hated to shut down IR, but he certainly agreed that they did need time.

Virgil was grateful that he did. At least the Medic didn’t have to take on the Commander head on to get him to stop.

This year had been particularly stressful with finding Dad and the medical and emotional fallout from that expedition having lasting effects on all of them. So, Grandma had called it and they were off for a week and as far away from the Island as possible.

Which meant a white Christmas, a pristine lake and plenty of time for a healing family.

Until Gordon took his pranks one step too far and half buried John in tree snow.

Admittedly, it had been funny and Virgil had been hard put to frown. John hadn’t been wearing a hat at the time – it had been in his hand as he was about to put it on – and consequently his hair had been plastered to his scalp in a most undignified way.

Red hair really stood out against white snow.

Also, reportedly the Voice Who Not Only Answers But Can Swear In Multiple Languages ended up with snow melting down his back and ‘Gordon was going to get it’.

Gordon being the occasional idiot he was, took that up as a challenge, daring their genius brother to come whip his ass.

The visuals accompanying that thought had Virgil rubbing his cold face.

The entire encounter had devolved from there, a rare moment where John lost his cool and a sign of exactly how stressed they actually were. It took Virgil a good tug on his astronaut brother and Scott dragging Gordon away to separate them.

Virgil cornered John and wrapped an arm around him, trying to draw him out, to find out what was bugging him, but no. Fiery turquoise was already plotting revenge and Virgil feared this was going to escalate to something ridiculous.

There was a reason why most brothers didn’t anger John. He was an easy target, but the fallout was apocalyptic.

Like never being able to communicate electronically for the rest of your life kind of apocalyptic.

So, it was with some trepidation that Virgil suggested this training scenario.

No Thunderbirds.

Personal equipment allowed - hence the training name of the game and not the all-out death match it was tempted to be.

Snowballs the only weapon - to stop his brothers from killing each other.

Virgil had no doubt that both Gordon and John were quite capable of burying each other in snow. Alan literally started bouncing. Probably because he immediately realised he could bomb from the air.

And Virgil set himself up to be the sacrificial lamb. Well, the one wearing an exo-suit and carrying a snowball machine gun.

The caricature that came to mind at that thought was quite amusing so he stored it away for later scribbling.

But anyway, just because he was the most likely to go down first, didn’t mean he had to go down easy.

Hopefully both Gordon and Alan realised that now. It didn’t hurt to make a point.

The ultimate goal was to nab each brother’s flag – a patch of fabric attached to their hip. Colour coded and numbered appropriately, Virgil’s green number two fluttered as he moved.

But the puzzle still remained: how to locate John.

His brother always liked to be on high with a view. Be it on the roof of the house, up a tree or in space itself, that was a characteristic that turned Virgil in the direction of the hillside.

Sure, John could be up a tree anywhere in the forest, but these were pines. A mix of tall, straight up monsters with few lower branches and squat dense walls of needles. John might have shimmied up one of the taller ones, but Virgil didn’t see the point. No security or camo.

No, it was more likely that John had a bolthole up on the hillside. It might be natural or he might have built it himself, but it would be hidden and secure.

Virgil respected his brother’s skills immensely.

And acted accordingly.

His suit whispered as he moved. Trying to find a way to quieten his movements had been far harder than building the snowball gun.

It had taken multiple adjustments to its hydraulics and several lubricants, but he’d managed it to a passable extent. Enough to sneak up on Gordon at least.

Virgil smiled to himself.

Now that was an accomplishment he wasn’t going to let go for a long time, no matter the outcome of today.

His snow shoes kept his extra weight stable on the soft powder as his reached the slope and began to climb. The hill became quite steep quickly.

Perhaps it was the change in terrain, or perhaps he really was just bad at this, but he had no warning when a grapple shot across his path and embedded in a huge tree to his left.

He had just enough time to gasp before the high tensile cable was wrapping around him, pulling him towards that monster of a tree.

It snared him about the waist and chained him there before wrapping around him again.

But he managed to keep the cannon free and he made some serious use of it, shooting at a flying blur that could be no one but Scott.

He rained snowball hell upon his brother.

But the daredevil pilot was fast and had more than one grapple pack.

Moments later the gun was as tied to the tree as Virgil was.

Scott certainly knew how to secure a rescuee when necessary. Virgil found himself splayed against the tree like some human-metal sacrifice.

If he had his laser, maybe. But he didn’t.

He still struggled.

And he kept on struggling, straining cables even as Scott came to an elegant landing in front of him.

Despite it all, his eldest brother’s eyes were apologetic. “Hi, Virgil.” A small smile. “I’m sorry, bro, but you have something I need.”

He reached in and with a flick of his wrist, nabbed Virgil’s green flag.

-o-o-o-

TBC

#thunderbirds are go #Thunderbirds 2015 #tag team secret santa #secret santa 2020 #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy #alan tracy

37 notes · View notes

pandoraswrld · 3 years

Text

IN THE NIGHT

— in which sera finds something new to entertain her

characters / sera park, ahn insung, mentions of the black rose girls, johnny suh and kim jongin

words / 4.1k

warnings / sexual content, they fuck in his car basically, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, crying, small mention of blood — if i missed anything please let me know!

Sera knows exactly why her feet dragged her to the club on this particular night. It was a Thursday and as far as she knew Insung would be outside on the steps, chatting up random girls and finding unsuspecting club-goers to become his customers. It would only be her fourth time coming there and her third seeing him, she’d grown rather fond of both during her visits.

She lied to her group mates when she said she was going out to get some fresh air and she lied to herself when she said she was going to the club only to find a good time. Sera could go inside, drink something overpriced and get hit on by several guys but she’s already decided she was going to bother Insung if she caught him.

The familiar dark blue neon lights came into view as she rounded the street corner to find the hidden club. She liked that she had to look for the place, it was far away from everything else, just enough that she could escape to it whenever she wanted. And just as she suspected there was Insung sitting at the foot of the metal staircase looking out onto the road as if he were waiting for someone.

They quickly caught each other’s eyes, the older man standing up to greet Sera. His black hair shined blue under the light of the club doors and his hands were adorned with shiny silver rings on almost every finger. He was far from ugly and that’s one of the first things that grabbed her attention when she had first met him.

“Princess, it’s nice to see you here again.” His words are not without a simple smirk, one that typically graced his face.

Sera rolled her eyes, she knows by now not to take his compliments and nicknames seriously. If she had a dollar for everytime she’d heard him say that to every other girl who came to him, she’d be rich.

“What brings you here on a night like this?”

It hadn’t been a particularly interesting week, having been off schedule for weeks now ever since the accident, the dorms had been tense and she was sick of hearing the same fight between Hyebin and Jangmi every night. Sera was simply bored with her life right now, she needed stimulation and of course she knew where to get it.

“Would you believe me if I said I wanted to see you?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him. She knows he’s definitely not one to fall for flattery but Sera also knew how to work it on him, it was like she was his soft spot. Even if she wasn’t, she wanted to be and was more than determined to make him like her just a little bit more than his other clients.

“You’re bullshitting me.” It was his turn to roll his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning ever so slightly over her.

“How could you know that?” She chose to smile at him coyly.

“Well darling, come have a smoke with me, I promise I won’t tell anyone.” There it is, she’s got him.

“Don’t mind if I do.”

She followed him across the street and far down the empty road towards his car. He always parked his car far away from the club, she figured there was a reason behind it but she never felt like pressing him for answers.

The car itself was something she enjoyed, despite this being her first ever time inside it. Something felt different on the inside, it was a space only the two of them shared, the real world only a couple of centimetres away behind the darkened glass of his windows.

Sera made sure to roll the windows down before lighting up, he told her he doesn’t care about the smell but she still does it anyway. She prefers seeing the clouds of smoke from the cigarettes waft out into the air rather than having it dissipate weakly within the confines of the car.

Few words are exchanged between them, she and Insung don’t really have much to say to each other. They only shared a couple things in common, those things being the club and drugs. She reckons that’s not really enough to hold on to, not that she would ever admit to wanting more from Insung, she just hates that once the cigarette burns out they’ll go back to being practically strangers again.

She wanted – no – needed him to like her. It’s simple to her really, all love has an expiry date on it so why not make the most out of it with whoever you can, he just happened to be the physically closest person to her right now. She doesn’t need him to fall in love with her, she’s not asking much from him.

Her father always told her never to care about other people’s opinions on her, he always wanted her to grow up strong and independent. Sera thinks about his old sayings whenever she was in a position of desperation, it’s a shame she never really grew into the girl he wanted her to be. She missed him, she’ll probably call him when she gets back to the dorms, after all it is only eight in the morning back home.

“Insung.” Sera turned to the man sitting in the driver’s seat beside her.

“Yes, princess.” He still had some of his cigarette left, only a little, their time together was almost up.

Sera had finished hers first, flicking it into his makeshift water bottle ashtray a couple minutes before. “Why do you call me princess?”

Insung was silent for a moment, inhaling another breath of smoke before turning to Sera. The corners of his mouth twisted up, a genuine smile from the man, that’s something she never thought she’d see.

“Because you are one,” he chuckled, “I don’t treat all my customers the same if that’s what you’re worried about.”

She smiled at the thought, she was cracking him, slowly but surely.

Sera rolled her window back up, it was just them now. Her eyes surveyed Insung, looking at him up and down as though she were searching for something. She leaned forward and with her hand resting delicately on the wheel she kissed him.

He didn’t taste sweet, not like Jongin used to, no he didn’t taste of anything. All that she could sense off of him was the smell of nicotine hanging off of his lips and hands.

“Hmm that’s how you wanna play, what do you want here Sera? Low prices, a free hit?” She couldn’t read him, he was smiling at her but his tone was more neutral than anything else.

She looked down to his lips and then back into his eyes, that always worked, “I want you.”

He kissed her this time, smashing their lips together at a pace a lot faster than she had expected from him. His hand fell over her nape to pull her closer to him, “Then show me.”

Sera gave him a devilish grin, getting closer to what she wanted. She threw her leg over his body and dragged herself from her seat to sit lightly on top of his thighs.

His kisses were either chaste and quick or wet and slippery, she doesn’t know which one she prefers but it’s nice to have someone on her lips again. The feeling of his hands gripping at her thighs and hips could send her to heaven, the cold metal of his rings clashing against her hot skin. Sera hoped that when she woke up in the morning it would leave pretty bruising for her to stare at in the mirror, a little memory that someone felt something for her.

She grabbed at her t-shirt and lifted it away from her jeans, unbuttoning the denim for Insung to access. She was quick to undo his too and it didn’t look like he showed any signs of wanting her to stop, a near moan leaving his lips when her hands brushed up against his groin.

Sera rushed to pull his cock out of his pants and push it inside of her, she wanted this moment to go by quickly and it would with her in control of the situation. As far as she’s concerned this is for him, her benefits would come after and it always felt good being so physically close to someone.

The position was awkward, Sera’s head had hit the car ceiling at least three times by now and her back was this close to sounding out the horn every time she leaned the tiniest bit backwards. In terms of sex, this was nowhere near reaching the top of her list, Insung wasn’t doing anything particularly show-stopping and he had barely been able to keep eye contact with her at all despite having his literal dick buried inside her.

She couldn’t find a way to sweeten the moment, make it feel like it meant something big to the both of them. Insung layed there in his seat watching Sera do all the work and doing nothing but biting his lip and hanging onto her hips for dear life. She figures that after the first time and in a more comfortable setting he might do more for her, or at least she hopes so, she was already planning on hooking up with him a few more times and it would be better if he attempted to put more effort into her pleasure.

She tried to look into his eyes again, placing her hands around his cheeks and holding them in place. Insung, however, firmly avoided her gaze, turning his head away from the grasp of her palm and choosing to settle his eyes on the road behind her shoulders.

Sera rolled her eyes, still bouncing up and down until she felt him tense underneath her. The sounds he let out of his mouth were obscene, dark groans escaping his lips as he pulled himself out of Sera. He came soon after, thick splodges of cum painting Sera’s abdomen and the edge of her t-shirt, dripping down onto Insung’s jeans.

She felt gross, the feeling of his sticky cum all over her made her want to throw up. She removed her legs from the tight straddle and flipped over into the passenger seat, quickly pulling her jeans back up and tucking her t-shirt in in a poor effort to clean up the mess he had left.

Her mind drew blank, barely a thought processing behind her eyes. It’s not an entirely new feeling, she remembers the nights she spent with Johnny and how each one ended with her creeping out in the dead of night, not a single emotion playing on her face. It was all the same, none of these hookups were anything special and she chose not to think too much about the repercussions of them. That was a can of worms she would rather not open, ever.

The thick smell of sex brought her back to reality, barely covering the stale cigarette smoke in the car. Her fingers lifted up over her face to wipe off the taste of Insung, chewing against the soft skin on her knuckle and resting over her nose as if to hide from the man beside her.

“You want anything?” Insung’s voice cut through the silence, coupled with the sounds of his belt and the button metal clashing as he hastily zipped his pants back up.

Sera didn’t turn to look at him, too focused on the black cat outside striding past the car. He probably meant in terms of something to eat or drink but she supposed she could at least try and enjoy the time she’d spent in this car, “Have you got any weed?”

Insung chuckles, muttering something to himself. Sera dives into her bag to find the couple hundred won she had lying around just for moments like this.

“Don’t.” He places the little bag into her hand, pushing away the notes, “We’ll share it, don’t worry about it today.”

Sera gives him a small smile, “Will you roll it for me then?”

Insung is much faster at rolling than she is, having made the perfect blunt within a minute, hers always turned out a little empty and lopsided. He grabbed her chin roughly, placing it in between her pursed lips and lighting it up. “Good girl.” He uttered out after the blunt was lit.

She swallowed thickly before inhaling the weed into her lungs. He probably got off on manhandling her like that so she let him, she’ll think about it again in a day or two and pretend it was hot.

Shared between the two of them the blunt doesn’t last long, Sera’s too anxious to go without something in her hands or on her lips and Insung always had steel lungs, one of the faster smokers she’d ever hung around. The high had quickly settled within her chest, feeling a little lightheaded as she sinks into the passenger seat.

“You okay princess?”

He cares about her, is all she can think, why else would he have done everything he did tonight. She believes she’s worn him down, just enough for him to feel used to her. That’s all she needed.

“Yes.” She hummed. Her hand creeped up to Insung’s empty one that laid beside her, surprised when he didn't drag his away.

“Look at us,” Sera chuckled, “Hayoung and Insung.” She wasn’t feeling up to thinking before speaking, simply letting the words roll off her tongue, the easiest feeling in the world.

“Hayoung...I like that.” Something strikes her upon hearing the name leave his lips, it was strange, it didn’t hurt the way she thought it would. That had to mean something, right?

Her thumbs rub against the rough skin on Insung’s palm. It was hardly believable that she had gotten this far without being hastily thrown out or that he was letting her be this affectionate to him, some part of her believes that maybe he wanted this too. If she thinks a little bit too hard she starts to suspect that he needed this just as badly as she did.

Maybe they were made for each other, who knows?

Insung was different from all the other people that she’d been with. She’d always been the heart breaker, the girl you had to watch out for because she’s gonna shit all over you, but with Insung she was weak, almost his equal if you excluded the money he made off of her.

Jongin was a whole story she still wasn’t dealing with, seeing his face around the halls of the SM building didn’t make any of their meetings hurt less. It’s her fault that they broke up, she would never admit it but she knows she did something wrong. Despite that, in their most vulnerable moments they would always find each other and Sera can’t tell if it’s some kind of fucked up star-crossed lover thing or if it’s just sad that they still pretend like nothing ever happened the morning after. To be honest, the fact that he keeps on letting her back into his bed is his deal, Sera just likes that she’s still got a hook in him.

Johnny was probably the closest she’d gotten to a real relationship since 2015. He was sweet and honestly cared for her, the last time she’d been with him just a little after his debut, she fucked that one up big time.

But with Insung she couldn’t fuck up, not romantically, it was all about giving each other something that the other wanted. Sera got the attention she craved and Insung found himself a warm hole for whenever he needed to get his dick wet. Insung’s probably got his own unsavoury opinions about her brewing in his mind but she’s trying her best not to give a fuck about what he thinks, and in her defence the last time she got called a slut she thoroughly enjoyed it.

“Let me drive you home.”

Sera doesn’t think that’s the greatest idea, let a drug dealer know her home location? Let a man she’d only known for a couple weeks drive her anywhere? It wouldn’t be the safest choice she had made tonight but she was too fucked to care, that was something she could worry about tomorrow, preferably with a bottle of something strong to help ease her thoughts.

“Thank you.” She squeezed his thumb with a small smile. Her fingers just barely made out the dorm address into his sat nav, gliding all over the screen until it’s set and he can start to drive.

They remained silent for the ride home, sitting comfortably as the car twisted through several roads to reach the dorms. Sera glanced over at Insung, catching a concentrated expression on his face, he smiled when he caught her looking.

She could get used to this, fucking Insung and then letting him treat her, it sure is the life her father always dreamed for her. At least it would give her something to do whilst SM tries to figure out what the fuck Lyra and Jangmi have going on, god knows she’d go insane if she had to stay in that dorm any longer, constantly having to walk on eggshells around everyone. This was fun, about as much fun as it can get for her right now.

The car comes to a stop, parked just outside her apartment building. This can’t last forever, Sera knows that much, it wouldn’t bode well for her in the long run knowing what kind of person he was.

There’s not much interaction as Sera exits the car, her hand leaves his empty and there’s no goodbye kiss or even a hug, “See you around.”

“See you around, princess.”

And then he drove off. The light wind starting to pick up reminded her that it was far too late for her to be out as she watched the car disappear down the road.

That’s all there was to it really, nothing special, it almost made her miss how Johnny used to beg her to stay just a little longer. However, beggars can’t be choosers, Sera thought. She got what she wanted, she can’t exactly be picky with how much affection she was asking for. Still there’s a pang in her heart once she finds herself back in the dorm, her chest starting to feel heavy yet again once she’s in the darkened living room. Sera’s at least grateful that no one was waiting behind the door to ask about her whereabouts or comment on the smell of weed she’d brought back with her.

She figures she’ll try to shower before attempting to sleep, having already decided she was going to take the sofa instead of bothering Aejung and Juliet who were likely fast asleep in their shared room. This was probably the most peace they’d get that day, no need for Sera to wake them up with her problems.

The water was cold, just barely above freezing. She shivered at the feeling but didn’t move to change it, instead lingering under the shower head and letting the stream of water run down her body. Her hair started to dampen, bright blonde strands sticking uncomfortably to her skin like glue, barely doing anything to refresh her of the high she was slowly coming down from.

Her hands ran down to her stomach, rubbing off the dried cum and letting out a choked laugh at the action. She hoped that it was the shower water she was feeling but she couldn’t mistake the hot tears leaving her eyes for anything else.

“Fuck.” She mutters to herself, leaning her body against the wall and letting the tears fall freely from her eyes.

Sera doesn’t know why she’s crying, there could be a number of reasons: maybe she was starting her period, maybe she missed her dad too much, or maybe she’s regretting her actions. All of her years she told herself never to let herself regret anything, once it’s done it’s done and yet she still can’t help but feel like she's doing it all for nothing. After a couple months they’ll drop each other and Sera can go back to searching the club in favour of finding someone new to play with, like they never existed to each other outside of their deals.

She thinks back to the car, she can still feel his touches on her body and the cold water does little to remove the feeling. It’s confusing, in the moment it felt so right, like she was finally getting what she’d been asking for but here her emotions had flipped on her so easily, preying on her and causing her to doubt everything.

It left a sickening feeling in her stomach at the thought of him calling her ‘Hayoung’. She knows now that what she was feeling when she heard it wasn’t anything different, she was just high, the weed was admittedly stronger than she was used to and it must’ve knocked the sense out of her. That’s how she rationalises it, but there was one anomaly still standing out in her mind. Why did he let her hold his hand?

Sera had only known him a little amount of time but even in those moments she had painted an awfully clear image of what he was like. Insung, he was ruthless, cocky, far too mighty for his own damn good. She’d seen the way he shamelessly flirted with just about everyone and how he’d pull out a number of threats on people who did him wrong, it would be strange for him to act so softly and yet he did?

Maybe he pitied her, she had become clingy after sex and he didn’t want to let her down so quickly so he let her act like that, spare her some of the embarrassment and then never talk to her again.

The vicious whispers of her former best friend still lived in between her ears and at the back of her head in her worst moments, poor little Hayoung has to fuck everyone just to make them love her because she knows they wouldn’t even give her a chance if it were any other way. Every so often she’d hear them spat back out in her own voice, those nights were always the worst.

It takes all of her strength to get up off the shower floor and turn it off, her fingers and toes had turned blue under the water and she knew she wasn’t going to be getting anything clean anytime soon. She’ll just shower in the morning, she thinks, she’s not in the right state to be doing much now.

It takes her even more strength not to look into the mirror as she dressed, the last time she had done that when she was feeling like this she found herself staring into cracked glass with a bloodied fist.

She had found an old t-shirt and some shorts lying around the dorm to wear, no one cleaned around here anymore, they could very well be someone else’s but it’s not like any of the others cared anymore. Sera can’t even remember the last time she saw Yewon or Hime beyond brief flashes of blonde hair or the sound of their dragging footsteps across the floorboards.

Sera ends up slumping onto the sofa, her eyes staring down at the coffee table before her. Crumpled Chinese takeout flyers were scattered all over the table along with several unwashed mugs full of tea and coffee stains and the remnants of a dying potted plant covering the rest of the surface.

Damn, if she wasn’t already feeling like pure shit then being in this apartment for longer than twenty minutes would’ve done it to her anyways.

She glanced over at the time shining on the screen of her phone, two fifty five in the morning it read. Her fingers hovered over the contact number for her dad, it was just about turning ten in California, she knew he had to get up for work and wouldn’t be bothering him. She hesitates just for a moment before scrolling through her contacts again and finding the number titled ‘Kim Jongin’.

A pathetic sigh left her mouth, pressing on his name and waiting for it to ring. Her teeth found her knuckle, biting down onto it when the phone started to ring for too long, it wasn’t until she was about to hang up that she heard his all too familiar voice call out from the phone.

He sounded tired, his voice was barely above a grumble clearly having been woken up by her call. She didn’t really care about that though, she just needed to be with him tonight, there’s no way he could deny her that.

“Hey, do you think I could come over?”

#bobakocnet #aeskocnet #sera — dev #kpop oc #kpop oc group #fake kpop idol #fake kpop group

20 notes · View notes

fangirlstarot · 3 years

Photo

SIX OF PENTACLES Everything You Give Comes Back Around

On the surface level, this card shows give and take, gifts, donations and charity. The giving and receiving that exists between the have's and the have not's. As a pentacles card, this might mean money, but it could also mean resources such as time, energy, experience, ect. It's a hopeful card overall-- hope that we may find a benefactor in our time of need, hope that we can have enough to gift our excess to those less fortunate, hope that society has come far enough that social welfare may be there to fill the gaps so no one may fall.

On a deeper level, the Six of Pentacles card really opened my eyes to the beauty of the numerology and symbology that exists within the tarot. If we look into the images on the Rider Waite's 6 of Pentacles, we can see how the story becomes one of karma, give and take and the blessings of the adage, "To give is to receive and to receive is to give."

Take the number 6 for instance. Sixes in tarot numerology mean harmony, communication and cooperation. They are the start of the healing and solutions to what plague us in the darkest times of the 5s (which are the direct middle of each suit, those darkest times we will experience on our journey directly between beginning [aces] and completion [10s]). Sixes create the solutions, help us get back our balance and move us away from strife to adaptability and healthy change. After coming out of a difficult situation like the poverty shown in the 5 of Pentacles, this card offers hope that we may make it to the rest of the story and find peace in that 9 of Pentacles and 10 of Pentacles. And that peace could very well come from a rebalancing of wealth, redistribution of resources and community that supports each other when we need help and love.

That rebalancing is shown very apparently in the scale of justice that the merchant on this card is holding in his hand. It's the very same that is pictured on the Justice card in the Major Arcana. This scale represents equity, fairness, equality, karma and things ultimately being balanced in a correct and positive manner. This merchant is not just giving charity for the sake of some haughty attitude that he gets to hold over these beggars, but because this is justice. It's not right for one person to have an excess. This merchant is not the miser seen in the 4 of Pentacles, he's not royalty who has never worked for money neither. He's someone who could very well be in the same position of these beggars if the market prices changed at any time in the future. One bad crop for the merchant would be the only thing it would take to equalize the different social statuses.

In fact, there is a lot of symbolism here that points to the beggars and the merchant being one and the same. This is the only card in the tarot deck that shows two different social statuses on the same card, pointing to the fact that they are very much linked. The figures on the card are all part of the same cycle, they all blend together as one. There is no difference between them, it is an endless cycle that continues to balance as people climb up and down the social ladder. What support you may be able to offer someone someday, you might need the next. One card, one cycle, one society, all supporting and helping under the guide of social welfare. This is the grand balancing out of karma, what you put out into the world is going to come back to you at some point down the line.

This card goes into the economic theory of how when you distribute wealth it actually creates more wealth. That's a big part of what is stimulating the economy with these stimulus checks at the moment in our current political climate. When the rich miser (someone like in the 4 of pentacles) hoards all his wealth, the economy is not stimulated. But when someone like the merchant here comes along to dispense the extra, it actually creates growth and makes sure that the economy flourishes.

Since the beggars have nothing to offer currently, the merchant could be providing aid out of the goodness of his heart, however as a merchant, he's very likely to see that wealth come back to him when the beggars buy what he is selling. What we put out comes back to us ten fold.

Also, let's look at the symbolism of the colors that the merchant wears for a second. The white (innocence, spiritual purity) and blue (piety, wisdom, religion), show that he's not doing this in a haughty way nor maliciously. He was gifted with a good heart and therefore the community was blessed with kindness. The hand signal the merchant makes is also very important-- it's the same hand signal as hierophant - representing the spiritual side of giving, blessing, philanthropy, kindness.

Another number that shows up here is four with the four pieces of gold he offers the beggar. Four in tarot stands for stability and structure. This charity is not going to just throw the beggar breadcrumbs that might topple him later but will provide him with that structure and stability he needs in order to make it through to a point where he might be able to support someone else.

This card is very much about paying it forward, supporting the community and the power of kindness in times of trouble. It shows that there is so much spirituality we can gain when we help those who are the most hopeless and that by giving we can only, in turn, help ourselves. For my version of this card, I wanted to really capture the cyclical nature of giving and show people who have benefitted the most from their philanthropy and seem to have learned that lifting everyone up is the way to lift themselves up as well.

::Who's Who On This Card::

1. MrBeast from the Mr Beast YouTube Channel (Jimmy “MrBeast” Donaldson made a name for himself on YouTube by giving away more than a million dollars to strangers and friends in bouts of random donations. His whole model is completely cyclical-- the more money he randomly gives away, the more people want to click on it, the more money he makes, the more he can give away and the more of a name he makes for himself, it's actually kind of a fascinating economic model which shows the power of giving to receive)

2. Androcles and The Lion (In this old folktale, Androcles bravely take a spliter from the lion's paw, only to later end up a slave in the Roman Colosseum who is going to be fed to the lions, the same lion he once helped-- proving that the people you meet going up are going to be the same ones you meet going down and how much karma and good will can save you in the end)

3. Trevor McKinney in Pay It Forward (the kid in this movie wants to make a better world, so he envisions a plan where he will help three people and then they'll help three more people and the love and kindness will grow exponentially until everyone gets to live in a better world someday)

4. Angel (from "I'll Cover You" scene in RENT -- with lines like, "Live in my house, I'll be your shelter/Just pay me back/With 1, 000 kisses" because what we give from a place of love comes back to us in more love with this card)

5. Jane Goodall (She spent her whole life working and caring for chimpanzees... and ended up worth $10 million dollars)

6. "What's Mine Is Yours" song/scene from All Dogs Go to Heaven (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g710mN4YNw -- "Whether you're the boss/Or someone's pet/The more you give/The more you're gonna get")

#six of pentacles #minor arcana #tarot #tarot cards #MrBeast #androcles #pay it forward #RENT #jane goodall #All Dogs Go To Heaven

9 notes · View notes

bisoqu · 3 years

Text

Hi. I’ll be going by an old internet nickname, Casey. I’m 19. I’ve never used tumblr before, but I cannot talk to anyone in my immediate personal life (hoping this is a first step) So, here I am. I used to only think about these things while I was high or drunk but those thoughts have now entered my head every day, and I’m incredibly stuck in what I should do. I please ask kindly that you, internet stranger, give me your thoughts for a little bit. I want to talk to somebody, but everyone in my life would push me away. Or, at the very least, look at me in a drastically different way, and ruin alot of the bonds I have with them.

Also uh, sorry about the kinky stuff. I’m just really inebriated.

when I was younger, I had this infatuation with overweight people. The idea of a fat person was hilarious to me, and I would often watch crappy montage videos on YouTube of fat people falling, failing, dumb shit like that. That infatuation with consuming fat content probably pushed my desire for this through the roof. As I got a little older, I started looking up “cute fat girl” (I’m like 11 at this point don’t @ my goofball ass who through that wasn’t odd too search). And eventually saw these videos being referenced with the tag BBW (meaning ‘big beautiful women’.) A google search later I had successfully discovered a way to find more content of a similar style, and plenty of it. I would use this search term across YouTube, and eventually had consumed most of the recent content with that tag. As most teens do, from there I went to porn sites. I was learning new terms, PAWG, Pear, MILF, but most importantly SSBBW. SSBBW was an extreme push of the human form, women growing far beyond any healthy limits. Piling on hundreds of pounds of useless fat and growing larger with no concern for health, just unyielding gluttony. It was incredibly hot, and rewarding. I had dug a little deeper and found my niche. At this point I was much passed only searching to stimulate a curiosity, but to scratch a sexual itch I had been developing. As time went on, I had been pretty deeply interested in this stuff, but had no aspiration(at about 16) too talk about it. But.. as my romantic life moved forward, I felt embarrassed and frustrated to tell the world. through some random burst of honesty, I told an internet love interest everything. Or.. enough. I told them I was into “fat girls”, leaving it open to interpretation. I had believed that saying just ‘big girls’ would leave them to think slightly overweight, not dangerously, or disgustingly fat. Even though I tried to talk about a subculture I was deeply into, I was unable to be transparent. Soon after this encounter I would get very close with my first serious girlfriend (we’ll call her Stacy). She wasn’t chosen because of my kink, she actually only weighed a tiny 98lbs, it was because we had some similar interests, and she made me feel special in a way nobody had before her. Some time would pass, but in some way or another My friends and girlfriend were aware of this kink to the same extent as that online friend so long ago. I was very joke-y about it, leaving it to be much less of an embarrassment as originally thought. But, the air was still there that I wasn’t being completely truthful, and their thoughts on what ‘fat’ is, and mine are wildly different. Fast forward too now. I live with this girlfriend, and have since moved hours from family. I still see friends routinely, and work a full time job.

As of recent however, I have been using marijuana more than I had in the past. What was a 1-2 a week thing had turned into a “every night after work” thing. Recently (within the last few months) Stacy had gotten a second job that would take her for an entire day, her staying the night on site, leaving me home alone. I had an idea one of these Saturday’s where Stacy was gone and I was working that I would purchase some fun food to eat for dinner since I was alone, and get really high. something about this changed a couple hours later though. As I started to think more about the idea, I decided to starve myself as skip any meals that day, waiting for this grand feast. And we’ll, it turned into a sexual deviation quickly. I myself am a little overweight, but am not exactly huge. I’m 6’1 and I weight about 250lbs so I’m not exactly small, but my weight is dispersed well. I started too think about stuffing my face, naked, in front of my webcam. And that was exactly what I did. I smoked a bunch of weed, and ate a couple peoples worth of food at my desk, all with a single hand, as my other was jerking myself off. I started to call myself titles like slut, and bitch, seeing myself as a woman. At its climax, I felt a new high. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able too shake this incredibly urge. I would like to be trans. I still am attracted to women, which I guess would make me a trans lesbian, or something (I’m really not involved in trans culture passed a couple trans friends). So every Saturday, I’ve been doing this. Recently Stacy hasn’t been working this job much, so I’m left with just repressing it, but often it doesn’t work. I want to learn how to do makeup (of which Stacy had plenty of at home) and dress myself in feminine clothes. I’ve been dealing with this burning passion for a handful of weeks, this want to change my entire life and be a woman. but this fantasy seems impossible. I am a very active person, as I do fight with my weight alot. In this male body, I find excess weight to be gross, and do go to the gym several times a week to combat it. I’m actively working against my dream out of sheer.. terror. My family, my friends, I don’t want too throw it all away to feel like me. I have been thinking about taking the savings I have and moving a handful of states away, leaving my life here and starting anew elsewhere. But it pains me to think of my own mother, or stacy, or a good friend, to be appalled at the way I look, dress, or present myself. The “what happened to you” or “trans looks bad on you”. As a person who now, openly admits to wanting a transgender life, I see very few trans success stories from M to F. A lot of them look abnormal, and catch a ridiculous amount of scrutiny.

And above all, I don’t want being trans to be my life. I want to change the way I look, and the way I operate, but not the way others see me or think of me. It’s an impossible circumstance that many trans people have dealt with. And I’m just so afraid of backlash, that I might settle. I I just don’t know what to do, who to talk to, or if anyone will see this as a cry for help. Passed my kinky (high) ass, I think about this every day almost nonstop ever since that night. And a life like that sounds like a life worth living, I’m just terrified of loosing everything too change only something myself, will see as a better decision. I feel like if I don’t do something though, I’ll go crazy.

I don’t think tumblr has dm’s, but please, if anyone has any shred of similarity with this situation, let’s talk.

#transgender #transwoman #mental heath support

2 notes · View notes

xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Four

Word Count: 3.8k

Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsession @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

My breath hitches in my throat as Nikki's tongue runs up my sweat cloaked spine as he slowly thrusts in and out of me, after giving me a couple of minutes to adjust to him, the sensation causing my thighs shake and my toes to curl, my bottom lip being pulled in by my teeth.

My knuckles ball the sheets up as I bury my face into the covers to keep from waking Karen up as he pushes himself into me to the hilt, causing my eyes to roll back in my head as I'm pretty sure I'm now soaking our bed, arching my back as he holds at my hips and runs his hands softly over my skin before giving a harsh slap to my ass, causing me to tighten around him and he let's out a breathy groan.

His fingers move to reach between my legs to massage at my clit, only adding to the nearly paralyzing sensation.

I gather myself and get my face from the mattress, looking at him over my shoulder, grinning.

"I think you can go faster than that." I gasp out through pleasure, my expression taunting him a little bit, and he looks at me like I just made a mistake.

Soon enough I'm practically clawing at the sheets, my tongue bleeding from having to bite into it to keep from screaming out as Nikki delivers stroke after stroke into me.

I can't even say anything other than moan and nearly shriek when he purposely pushes himself into me as far as my body will let him, only sending tremors down my legs to my toes.

He pulls put of me briefly before roughly turning me over, grinning at me before pushing himself back in.

"Nikki--I--" I breathe out, my back arching, my chest heaving with deep, desperate breaths. "--I c-can't..." tears are forming in my eyes, and I'm about to tell him to just get off of me so we can shower and just have our usual sex instead because I actually feel like my body can't take much more stimulation.

But he's not having it.

Instead, like always, he's taking advantage of it.

"No, no, no, you're not getting out of it that easy." He tells me, slowing down some and I squeeze my eyes closed for a second, clawing at his hand holding at my thigh.

His fingers go back to my clit, and he looks me in the eye, that smug smirk on his face because he knows he's trying to fucking kill me.

Suddenly, two of his fingers push into my already soaked pussy that's swollen from receiving two rounds of rough attention from Nikki's prick already, as the thumb of his other hand rolls over my clit that's been overly sensitized from nearly thirty minutes if him going down on me, and he continues his tortuous thrusting into me, only picking up his pace again and his fingers and thumb are in sync with his cock completely.

"Nikki!" I don't care if Karen hears me, or if I wake up the neighbors, I can't help but scream out as I probably look like a scene from the exorcist, my back arching to a point where it looks like it might break with tears streaming consistently from my eyes that are screwed shut.

The mind shattering build up to my orgasm starts to collect, my body feeling full and ready to explode.

He thinks it's the most entertaining thing, seeing his innocent church girl sobbing, writhing and screaming in ecstasy all at his mercy in the middle of sodomy.

I can't make the words "I'm about to come" leave my mouth before liquid is spilling over his fingers, streaming out of me, my whole body spasming as I struggle to breathe, my head spinning.

He pulls out of me, uttering "fuck" under his breath as threads of his cum paint my stomach before he falls beside me on the bed, the both of us catching our breath.

"Are you gonna live?" He asks me with a laugh, after a couple minutes of me trying to catch my breath and calm my body down.

"I remember why we only do that on special occasions." I look at him, my eyes probably red from crying uncontrollably.

He just grins, shaking his head a little, his black, messy hair nearly taking up his pillow completely.

"You know, Duff told me a while ago that you two worked a plan out to get that place bought and renovated to decent shape for me to use." I say softly, turning over to face him. "He bought it and you paid for it to be fixed."

"I figured you knew...you conveniently stopped going when renovations started." He licks his lips.

"You conveniently shot me and I could barely put weight on my leg for nearly two weeks." I add and he let's out a breath.

"I know I'm not worth a shit right now, Viv, baby, I get it." He turns over on his back to face the ceiling.

"I didn't say that."

"I'm trying." He adds.

"Are you?" I ask as softly as I can to keep from pissing him off, looking at him and he closes his eyes for a second before looking at me.

"When's the last time I hit a pipe, huh?"

"We have a refrigerator full of smack."

"You don't know what's in those bags." He scoffs.

"Do you think I'm an idiot, Nikki? I mean, really?"

He just rolls his jaw, avoiding my eyes on him.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you are doing everything you possibly can to be better?"

He just sits up.

"I could throw the fucking drugs out, Vivian, and still not be good enough."

"Nikki, you know I don't think you're not good enough for m--"

"--I didn't say anything about not being good enough to meet your standards."

"Who's standards then?"

He's about to say something, but catches himself.

"My own, I guess, I don't know." He says under his breath.

He could have gotten rid of the drugs, but that wouldn't have gotten rid of Vanity, and he knew that.

Honestly, he was growing tired of her quickly, and was trying to find a way to put an end to things without her getting mad and telling me because he was paranoid that's exactly what she would have done.

But he was also terrified to tell me he was sixx foot deep in the situation called "Vanity" and didn't know how to climb out because he was afraid I would leave him.

So he stayed caught between a wife and a mistress, hoping the latter would grow tired and give way so he could escape the growing pressure and paranoia creeping on him with each day.

We get a shower to clean up and I pull the comforter off the bed that's wet with cum and throw it in front of the washer before grabbing the blankets off the couch to cover up with.

It's 3:10am, and Nikki's dressed and pulling his cowboy boots on, causing me to look at him like he's crazy.

"You're leaving?" I ask him, weakly.

"I'll be back when you wake up." He assures me, crouching down to brush his fingers through my hair.

"Please be careful." I plead, my hand grasping at his. "Please."

He nods, smiling a little before reaching his hand under the bed, handing me a wrapped gift.

"One more Valentine's Day gift." He tells me and I sit up, taking it, pulling at the paper.

I open it, seeing soft, white leather and gold words that read "Holy Bible."

I look at him and he just smiles, giving a shrug.

"Figured I should since I burned your other one." He adds.

"I started that fight, Nikki. You finished it. I shouldn't have broken your awards to begin with."

"Vivian, you broke the frames that could be replaced. And were replaced. Those awards don't mean a fucking thing to me, anyway." He shakes his head. "This," he taps his finger on the bible. "Means the world to you. I shouldn't have done what I did, as comfortably as I did it, just to prove a point." He states.

"It's okay, Nikki." I reply, smiling at him.

"I'm gonna get better, alright?" He says suddenly and I meet his eyes. "I'm gonna get outta this and I'll stay out. And I won't be as mean or weird and you won't hate me so much." He laughs it out but it hurts me that he thinks I hate him.

"I could never hate you, Nikki." I say.

"I don't know, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." Again, he's saying it light heartedly but it's a mask.

"Nikki, you're my world." I say to him, and his smile fades. "You have been since 1981, even before I even knew you were. If something ever happened to you, they'd have to either take me out with you or keep me sedated in a mental institution. I wouldn't know what the hell I would do without you." I inform him. "I could never hate you."

It's obvious that he wasn't expecting me to say this.

He just clears his throat before standing back up, grabbing his bike keys.

"I'll be back later." He tells me, seeming like he's avoiding acknowledging what I just said to him.

He kisses me before heading to the bedroom door.

"Goodnight, baby." He says.

"Goodnight, Nikki." I reply as he walks out.

I wait for the sound of his bike leaving, before I open my new bible, seeing he's written my name in the "presented to" slot, and put his in the "presented by" space, and filled in the date.

That's not something I ever expected to see Nikki's name in.

I file through it, seeing the little ribbon attached as a bookmark is held between the back cover and the content itself.

Just as I flip there to put the ribbon in the pages themselves, I see Nikki had it there for a reason.

On the back cover, there's a passage of Nikki's handwriting that starts with "Vivian."

The phone's ringing before I can read it, and I put the book down and get up to answer, only to be met by Karen coming out to answer it.

"Hello?" She answers it for me, sleepiness encapsulating her tone.

Her eyes flicker to me, her face growing nearly pale, and I get a bad feeling settling in me.

"Yes, Ma'am, she's right here." She hands me the phone and I furrow my brows a little before exhaling.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Mrs. Sixx this is Analise with Los Angeles Medical Center. I'm calling because we have a patient in our intensive care unit, currently, who has you listed as their emergency contact." She informs me and I want to tell her to be more specific because I'm listed as several people's emergency contact currently. "Tansalyn Reilen."

Tansy's body, growing tired from her constant drug abuse, had started telling her it was about to give out.

I quickly make my way through the lot of the hospital, stepping into the emergency room to see Steven and Duff waiting in the waiting room.

"What the hell happened?!" I ask, stepping to them.

Duff goes to open his mouth but Steven cuts him off.

"I-I don't know what happened, it was just some blow, Viv." He says, panicked, and my eyes widen.

"Just some blow?!" I outburst.

"Viv--" Duff starts but I stop him.

"You can fuck off since you're the one that bailed her out of going to rehab in the first place!" I snap at Duff and he furrows his brows.

"Hey, lose it, Viv, I'm not Nikki and I'm not putting up with it." He tells me, alcohol on his breath.

"No, you certainly aren't Nikki no matter how badly you try to be." I hiss.

"If I wanted to be Nikki I'd start shooting junk and talking down to you." It's said in a slur and I ball my hands up in fists.

"Guys, hey!" Steven stops me from arguing. "Viv, seriously, just calm down." He pleads and I let out a heavy breath.

"Where is she at now?" I ask him, ignoring Duff before he slumps back down into a chair.

"They said they were gonna do a cardio thing with electricity to see how bad the damage is...I really don't know what happened, I had a line from the same bindle and nothing happened to me."

"God." I breathe out, rubbing my forehead. "Alright, I'm gonna go ask her to tell me when they get done with testing." I nod to the receptionist and he nods.

It takes two more hours until the woman is calling me up to the counter for a visitor's pass and telling me where to go.

Once I get to Tansy's room, she looks like absolute hell as a nurse helps to get her situated.

Her dead eyes look up to see me and she grins, tiredly.

"Hey, Viv." She tells me as I step closer to her bed.

"Hey, Tans." I reply, the nurse glancing up at me.

"He should be in soon with tox-screen results and he'll explain the results of the electrocardiogram." The nurse informs me.

"I got in trouble." Tansy whispers to me.

"Well, the doctor who delivered you from the womb probably doesn't want to you die for something that could have been prevented." I reply in the same tone.

"I gathered that from his scolding." She nods.

"Alright, call if you need anything. He should be here shortly." The nurse reminds us.

"Thank you." We both say simultaneously as she steps out.

When we're alone, Tansy sits up and starts untaping her aspirin-IV drip, about to pull the needle from her hand.

"Uh, what are you doing?" I ask her.

"Viv, I can't stay here. I'm gonna start jonesing in a few hours and I doubt the nurses will sneak me anything."

"Tansy, you just had a heart attack, are you crazy?" I stop her from taking the IV needle from herself.

"Viv, I need to get outta here."

"Tansy, I swear to God, you are turning more and more into Nikki and it scares me. You're lucky you didn't die. Your heart is damaged and trying to recover. If you go load up on blow or smack, you will not live."

She looks desperate, her blue eyes watering, her cracked lips quivering.

The door opens in a moment and her doctor comes in, clearing his throat.

"You must be Vivian." He greets me and I nod.

"Alright, the main culprit of this is cocaine which can cause the coronary artery to spasm, which temporarily constricts the blood flow to the heart and the lack of oxygen causes sections of the heart to suffocate and die, which triggers a heart attack." He tells us. "Tansalyn, you will be able to recover, but at the rate you are going, I don't see you surviving another scare like this." He explains to us short and sweet, and I let out a breath. "Now, we're going to give you a temporary pace-maker to correct your bradycardia once we're out of the woods, but I will be keeping you for at least five days to make sure your body doesn't take a left turn out of nowhere." He adds.

"I can't stay here for five days. I have a photoshoot Thursday." She tells him and he looks at me.

"Tansy, your health is more important than your work."

"If I cancel they're gonna wanna know why and I can't let my mom know this happened. She'll kill me. And I can't hide a pacemaker from her."

Her doctor and I exchange looks.

I can't talk sense into her. I know who can, though.

"I'll be right back." I tell them, stepping out of the room to go to the waiting room to use the payphone, dialing the number.

"Hello?" Axl's tired voice says on the other end.

Tansy's always listened to Axl more than anybody else. I think it's because he kind of scared her back then, but she respected him because he really did have a good head on his shoulders...he just didn't know how to properly handle his feelings at times.

By the time Axl takes my place in the room with Tansy, I go back to the waiting room, Duff and Steven both asleep.

I wake them up and they startle slightly, rubbing their faces.

"Axl's gonna stay here with her, he told us to go home." I tell them.

"Axl's here?" Steven yawns.

"Yeah. Do you guys need a ride? I brought the Jeep so there's room for you two." I offer.

"Nah, I'm done the block at a chick's house." Steven tells me, and I glance at Duff.

"I'll walk." He mumbles.

"Duff--"

"Nah, really, Viv. Don't worry about it, I got it." He assures me as Steven puts his arm around me, kissing my cheek.

"I love you. I'll see you later." He tells me.

"I love you, too, Stevie." I reply.

"Bye, man." He says to Duff and Duff stands up, towering over him.

"Later, Stevie." He tells him, stretching and yawning.

Steven gives us a wave before leaving and I walk with Duff as he follows behind him, but goes a different direction once we get outside.

"Duff, really, I can take you to the apartment."

"It's fine, Viv."

"Duff, I'm sorry for earlier, okay? I shouldn't have said that."

"Rehab wouldn't have helped her any if she was only going to make people happy, Vivian."

"I know."

"So it's not my fucki--it's not my fault she's in this mess." He tries to keep himself from cussing at me.

"I know."

"And I'm not trying to be Nikki so I don't even know where that came from. I don't want to be him. I'm perfectly happy being Duff McKagan."

"I know." I grab at his wrist before we can pass the Jeep, stopping him and he let's out a heavy breath. "I'm sorry for saying all of that. I was just angry and was taking it out on you and I shouldn't do that."

"No, you shouldn't." He states, looking down at me.

Neither of us says anything for a moment, just looking at each other.

I notice his buzzed eyes glancing down at my lips and I make a little more distance between us, letting go of his wrist.

"I'm gonna go home." I mumble, tucking a strand of red hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, you should." He agrees, licking his lips.

Neither of us bother to move, and he looks like he wants to tell me something.

"Okay, goodnight, Duff." I go to step by him to get to my car but he grasps at my arm gently, turning to face me, tugging me closer to him.

"Viv." He says, and my heart pounds in my chest, his eyes burning into mine.

"Yeah?" I ask, trying to get some space between us again and he acts like he's about to say something but stops.

"Goodnight." He states.

"Goodnight, and thank you for bringing Tansy." I give him a small smile before he's letting me go so I can get in my car and go home.

The sun's coming up by the time I get home, and when I get in the house and get to our bedroom, Nikki's laying down, halfway in the closet, half out, and Vanity's in the bed, wearing one of my Mötley Crüe shirts, and my new bible is nowhere to be seen.

Nikki had gotten home and hidden my bible to keep Vanity from finding the letter in the back of it, and after my lack of reaction to the letter, and finding out I had to go to Tansy before even getting to read it, he decided it would be best if I never read it. Obviously, I didn't know this, I just thought either he or Vanity had lost it...

It wasn't until Mötley Crüe was in Japan for the "Girls" tour that I found it.

Vivian,

I don't know if it's offensive to write in one of these, but my place in hell is already solidified so I might as well piss God off some more. Sorry, I know you don't like when I say I'm going to hell even though we both know it's true. The one problem I have with where I'm fated to spend eternity, is that I know you won't be there. I realized this exactly one year ago. I came pretty close to being over with and I would be burning currently (or just laying in the fucking ground, or flying around as a reincarnated bird, whatever the hell happens to us when we go) had I not made it through. I know I'm scaring you with how much I do, Viv. I hear you talking to God about it when you pray. You're afraid I'm not going to wake up one day. I'm afraid, too. I know, right, Nikki Sixx is scared of something, who would've thought? I'm afraid I'm going to take my last breath without telling you how much I love you. I knew I loved you that night you snuck me into your window and asked me to help you bullshit that damn thesis paper for your final. That was six years ago, almost, and I wish I would have been telling you that I love you all along, maybe it would have changed the path of certain things that have happened. I'm sorry for what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I will do. It's my cross to carry. It's not your fault, it never has been, it never will be. I hope you can forgive me if I'm not here this time next year...if I don't get any better, I'll be in a coffin before our tour ends. Jeez, this sounds like a suicide note. I promise that's not why I'm writing this. I hope I'm around as long as you are. I hope we're together in the next life, whether it's as two birds that mate for life, pecking at each other's eyes, or our spirits just find one another. If God is real, all I'll need is for him to let me know you've made it up there and that you'll be okay, and I'll go to Hell and take the brimstone and fire for all the damage I've done. Just don't forget me, whatever happens. I won't ever forget you. I love you, Vivian. I won't ever forget you. I love you.

‐-Nikki

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #gateway drug

98 notes · View notes

yodawgiherd · 4 years

Text

Unprofessional Behavior

Rating: M

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Can I write a chapter without a sex scene? Yes! Is it this one? No.... Oh well. I just hope that my recent hornyposting will keep you entertained during this damn lockdown.

Enjoy!

As a model, Mikasa did a serious number of photoshoots up to this day. However, this was the first one where she held the camera. And as her own model was totally clueless about what to do or how this whole thing works, she was completely in control of the scene. Standing in the middle of the room, Eren scratched the back of his neck, looking at her with the face that betrayed just how much he needed the instructions. Well, she was the pro here, wasn’t she?

“All right, so if I remember correctly, we should take three photos, send those to the magazine alongside the address of the hospital you work in and that should be it.”

“I need to report where I work?”

“It’s supposed to be the hottest surgeon, Eren, not just a random dude. Apparently, they will check by phone if you are employed as one.”

He shrugged, a bit indifferent to this whole ordeal. Mikasa was so eager to get this photoshoot done, and the reason why eluded him. It just didn’t make sense. She was usually quite possessive when it came to her fiancé, so why was she so hellbent on him getting his “sexy” photos out into the world? There had to be something Eren was missing about this whole thing, something that the raven temptress wouldn’t let on. But before this photoshoot was done, the amateur model was determined to crack the case.

“Guess that makes sense.”, looking around, he tried and failed to locate a good place to begin this thing, turning back to Mikasa instead “Where do you want me?”

“It's fine where you are, gives us the perspective and stuff.”

“Ok….”, Eren drawled, apparently waiting for her to begin.

She stared at him. He stared at her. That’s when it hit her.

“Baby,”, she began, “This is supposed to be sexy photoshoot… You know?”

“So? What is the problem?”

He still didn’t get it. Oh well, no reason to draw this out.

“I’m going to need you to lose those clothes.”, she said.

Eren’s eyes widened.

“Are you serious?”

“Not all of them, just strip down to your… let’s say… underwear?”

Eren thought, no hoped, that it was a joke, but her expression was completely serious. She did have a point, when he thought about it, he could hardly present his sexiness dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of sweats. God help him. With a mortified face, Eren pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his pants, baring himself almost completely. Normally, he had no problems with getting naked in front of Mikasa, but the camera in her hand gave this whole scene quite a different vibe. The boxers would stay on this time though, he’s definitely not shooting nudes on his first take. Mikasa was watching him with a forced neutral expression, suppressing the smirk that fought its way on her face. She had to appear professional, otherwise Eren would probably just say fuck it and stop this whole charade. And Mikasa really did want to take these pictures, it was fun not being the model for once.

And Eren was a prime specimen to work with. Even like this, shuffling from one foot to the other, hands twitching nervously at his sides as he didn’t know what to do with them, his lean, muscular form was highly pleasing to look at and Mikasa had a hard time staying focused. She had seen his body so many times over those years they were together, but it was still as appetizing as the first time. Tearing her eyes away from that perfect V under his abs that disappeared beneath the fabric of his underwear she forced herself to stay on her task. There would be plenty of time to fool around later. Raising the camera, she once again took charge of the situation.

“All right, the first photo will be full frontal. Stand straight, legs a bit wider, that’s fine, and hands…. Oh, why don’t you put them behind your head, like when you are fixing your ponytail. It will give a great angle to your biceps.”

Wouldn’t be Eren if he didn’t have a stupid comment about that.

“Or maybe you want me to do that because you are just jealous of my glorious mane?”, he suggested, eyes sparkling.

Frustrated groan leaving her lips, Mikasa ran her hand through her tomboyish short haircut.

“Just do what I told you, okay?”

Following her orders, Eren did as he was told, striking exactly the pose Mikasa wanted. Oh yes, this was good. Putting the camera up to her face, she made sure that the lens stabilized enough before snapping the pic. Perfect.

“So, are we done?”, he asked, droppings his hands from behind the head.

“What? Of course not! The rules said three photos, we are doing three photos.”, making a rotating gesture with her finger, she said the phrase that Eren usually told her when he desired to take her from behind, “Turn around.”

“And why is that, my face boring you?”

“Not at all, but I do want a photo of that nice new tattoo you have.”

That was a request he could get behind. Just the memories of a few nights earlier, when she was on all four in front of him, when he was deep inside her were more than enough. Anytime he thrusted back then, anytime he moved to rub those places deep inside her, her body absorbed the punishing impact, the muscles of her back rippling. From his vantage point behind her, hands gripping her hips, Eren saw the tattoo on her back move too, the wings almost flapping as if Mikasa really was an angel with a pair of real ones on her back. In short, it was spectacular.

Turning to obey, Eren presented his back to her, looking over his shoulder to see if she perhaps had any more commands.

“Use your hands to pull your hair away from the tattoo, I want to see it all. Okay, just like that, now make a bit wider stance, again, and throw me a steamy look over your shoulder. Good, perfect, just a second…”

Raising the camera, she took the second photo, immensely satisfied with her model. Returning to his default stance, Eren looked at her, waiting what she will cook up next. Okay, they had a frontal and back shot, but what about the last one. What should the third photo cover? Hmmm..

Letting her eyes roam all over his body, Mikasa tapped her chin, deep in thought, for once unsure how to continue. She wore clothes in her line of work, presented them, yet Eren was supposed to show off his body, but those two photos covered all of it, so what was she missing? And then it hit her. What was one of the sexiest parts of Eren? His eyes. His eyes where he stared down at her, with that fire inside of them, when he called her his kitten and stroked her head. Now she couldn’t translate all that into a photo, but there was something she could do. Coming closer to him, Mikasa dropped down to her knees, looking up into his slightly confused face.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, staring down.

“I want you to show that fire inside you, that raw sexual energy you can do. That’s sure to blow the competition out of the water.”

A slight blush colored his cheeks, face turning from confused to flustered.

“I-I can’t just summon it on a moment’s notice Mikasa, I can’t just…” he threw his hands up, “I can’t do it just because you want me to.”

That was a good point. Then again, maybe Eren didn’t have to summon it out of thin air, maybe she could give him some…. stimulation. There were ways to tickle his fancy, to awaken that dark side of Eren, and Mikasa had plenty of experience in it. Putting the camera down for a second, Mikasa quickly took off her shirt, reaching behind herself to unclasp her bra right after. Now topless, she looked back up, seeing the familiar spark in his green eyes, roaming over her suddenly exposed abs and breasts. It was good, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t that blazing inferno she craved. Moving her shoulders back, Mikasa pushed out her small chest as much as she could, placing her hands on the sides of her breasts.

“Please sir,”, she looked at him through her eyelashes, “Just a little bit…”

Pressing her tits together, she slowly licked her lips before biting the bottom one, giving him the best possible view. And it worked. The spark in Eren’s eyes grew into a fire, his breathing quickened and Mikasa could see how the muscles in his long arms flexed. He wanted to touch her, wanted to take control of this offered situation and only that small logical part of his brain that kept telling him it's only for the photo stopped him from doing so. There was now a considerable bulge in his boxers, another proof that kneeling topless Mikasa is unable to be resisted. Quickly picking up the camera, Mikasa aimed it upwards on his face, grabbing a pretty picture from her low perspective. Yes, this was exactly what she wanted.

“This is great,”, she said, moving to stand up, “Just let me…”

Mikasa was rudely interrupted, however, when Eren put his hands on her shoulders and pushed, not allowing her back up. On her knees, she looked up with a question on her tongue, but it died quickly when she saw that the fire she started was still going strong. It would seem that her teasing was just a tad bit too effective in getting him going. Mikasa had awakened that dark side of her fiancé, and now that it was here it demanded satisfaction before going dormant again. Reaching down, Eren took the camera from her numb fingers and placed it on the chair without looking, his eyes glued to her face. Once that was secure, he placed his palm on her cheek, stroking his thumb alongside her scar.

“Miki, I don’t think I want to let you stand now. You wanted to see my sexual energy, so….”, moving his other hand from her shoulder, he placed in on her face too, tracing the shape of her bottom lip, “How about I give you a demonstration?”

Now that the professionalism was gone, Mikasa couldn’t help but feel the heat between her legs, as if the fire in Eren’s eyes ignited her too. Photos were nice and all, but this could be so, so much better. All she had to do was say yes. Swallowing, she held Eren’s gaze as she nodded.

“I w-would be honored, sir.”

“Good, good. In that case, I think that its time for this photoshoot to move onto the fully nude acts.”

His boxers were gone in a flash, the proof that Mikasa’s teasing was a resounding success was now right in front of her face. His hands were back too, once again anchoring her to the ground.

“First, I want you to do that thing you did when you wanted to get me going.”

It took her a moment before Mikasa understood what he meant, but when she did her hands obediently moved back to her breasts and she pushed them together, same as before. It wasn’t that impressive, her bust was small, but Eren did not care. He never did.

“I’m going to fuck your tits.”, he announced, as if it was the most natural thing to do, “It’s been some time since I’ve done it, I’m sure that your puppies are feeling neglected. Aren’t they?”

She couldn’t not fast enough.

“Of course, sir, begging for your attention.”

With a possessive smirk, Eren grabbed himself and guided his length between her warm mounds. The contradiction between the hardness of Mikasa’s muscled stomach and the softness of her breasts was always fascinating, and it felt even better now that he was experiencing it firsthand. Sure, her tits were small, so it wasn’t exactly perfect, but that hardly mattered. Pushing his thumb into her mouth, he loved how eagerly Mikasa sucked on it, losing herself in this as much as he was.

“Kitten, I love your tits, so perky and firm, I swear I could fall asleep on your chest every night.”, increasing the tempo a bit, he bit back a moan, “I just.. Fuck... I just couldn’t wish for a better pillow.”

Rocking his hips back and forth, he slid between those firm breasts, getting himself all excited. But while fucking her tits was good, Mikasa had a mouth to die for, and Eren wanted to take it as well, considering just how nicely she looked kneeling in front of him. Feeling her tongue toy with his thumb only made him remember how godlike it felt when she was worshipping his cock instead. It would be a damn shame not to take advantage of her blowjob skills, especially after he trained his kitten in this art for so long.

“How about a taste test of that sex appeal of mine, would you be opposed to that?”

Almost automatically, Mikasa’s mouth dropped open, tongue sticking out, waiting for him to claim her. Eyes hooded, she watched as he pulled himself from between her breasts and put the tip inside her mouth instead of his finger. Her pink lips sealed around immediately, eagerly even. Mikasa had developed a certain taste for cock sucking during their time together, despite how disgusting she found the concept first. Tangling his fingers in her short raven hair, he pushed in past her gag reflex. Eren let himself be enveloped by the tight hug of her throat, the muscles of her neck flexing around his length.

“You’re so good at this Miki…”, he groaned, head falling back at that divine feeling of her mouth, “So fucking good…”

Emboldened by his words maybe, Mikasa took more of an active role in this, pulling back to gain control. Letting go of her tits, she curled her fingers around the base of Eren’s cock, focusing her mouth to work on the tip. Sucking diligently, she traced the sensitive head with her tongue, paying special attention to the underside. If her experience with that new toy she got for her puppy taught her anything, it was that this spot made Eren go crazy. It worked again, and she could feel his hips bucking into her mouth, desperate. To give him a little bit of time off, Mikasa pulled her swollen lips from him, littering fleeting kisses to the sack instead, only working the shaft with her hand. Not fast enough to make him cum, but enough to keep him excited. Once again putting her mouth back to work, Mikasa noisily swallowed his length, pushing it deep into her throat until her nose met Eren’s skin. Clenching it around him, she used her hand to play with his balls at the same time, the effect almost immediate.

“Baby I…” chest heaving, sweat running down his face, Eren had a hard time putting one word in front of the other, “I’ so close…”

Eyeing him from underneath her lids, Mikasa only pulled back to tease him with her tongue again, dragging the tip of it against the most sensitive parts. Fully expecting him to come into her mouth, ready to swallow, she was surprised when Eren spoke again.

“I want… I want to cum on your face.”

Deep in the act, Mikasa would not protest. Letting go of him, she watched Eren pull out of her mouth and grab his spit slick length himself, giving one, two desperate strokes before his cock spasmed. Closing her eyes just in time, she felt him shooting his load over her face and chest, coating those cute small tits by his finish. Chest heaving, his dick in his hand, he was quite a sight when she opened them again, such a sight that she regretted ever letting the camera out of her hands. Now this, this would be a prime photo right there. To see what she missed, Mikasa dragged a single finger over her left breast, collecting some of the sticky finish there. Her gaze meeting Eren’s, she kept eye contact while pushing it between her lips, licking her digit clean.

“Delicious.”, she purred, and that was about everything Eren could take.

Grabbing her, Eren made Mikasa stand before basically tearing away her pants and underwear in a single go. Turning her around, he slammed her against the wall, chest first, nudging her legs apart with his knees. But he didn’t fuck her, as she expected, his fingers appeared instead, tracing the outline of her soaking wet labia. She moaned at that, a fact Eren quickly took advantage of as he pressed two fingers into her mouth and explored that lovely mouth of hers. She wanted to touch him, but he didn’t allow her to, holding her in place with his own body, and Mikasa was forced to just moan weakly around his digits as he teased her down there, her own fingers scratching helplessly at the wall. If Eren wanted her desperate, he was doing a fine job, because these light touches were driving her crazy. Not enough to give her any real pleasure, but not weak enough to let her calm down.

It was torture. Looking down, she could see the remnants of Eren’s finish, her brand new pearl necklace, white against the paleness of her skin. He found his release and now was dedicated to tormenting her, maybe a bit of payback for this whole photoshoot idea. It wasn’t that Eren could not fuck her, Mikasa could feel his length resting between her ass cheeks, even moving a bit as he bucked his hips in sync with his hands, rubbing himself on her. He could go, he just didn’t want to. Yet.

Eren’s hands were the instruments of his will. One in her mouth, the other between her legs, he was playing with her, circling her, touching the outsides before dipping a single digit in only to pull it out right after. Eren even attended to her clit, gave it a few teasing strokes before stopping, adding to that mountain of frustration. She tried rubbing her ass on him, knowing Eren’s weakness for that part of her body, but it didn’t do anything. And when she tried speaking, he was quick to react. Pulling his fingers out of her sopping wet sex, he slapped her ass hard, making her cry out around his fingers still deep inside her mouth.

“Did I give you permission to speak?”, another slap, another yelp, “Did I?”

Her words were muffled by those digits between her lips, but Mikasa managed to push out an answer.

“N-No, sir. Sorry!”

A satisfied huff against her neck, but Eren picked up on what she wanted. And he wasn’t ready to give it to her for free. Pulling his wet fingers from her mouth, he moved them down to her breasts instead, playing with the hard nipples, not minding that her tits were still covered by his sticky finish.

“Very well, I’m giving you permission now.”, he said, mouth right next to Mikasa’s ear, “Beg.”

His playful tongue coming out to play, Eren traced the metal circles in Mikasa’s upper ears, toying with the pierced cartilage, tugging at them slightly. Her ears were so sensitive, it took her some courage before Mikasa got them pierced at the top and back, but as a stubborn goth she needed some metal in her and that area was about as far as she was willing to go. Highschool could be crazy sometimes, and some teenage pain was worth showing the world how she felt. The piercings surely added to her sensitivity, because she could literally melt from this alone, from how Eren’s mouth played with that jewelry, how amazing his teeth felt lightly grazing her earlobe. Combine that with his fingers on both her breasts and sex and Mikasa could hardly do more than breathe. It took her a long moment to speak, but Eren didn’t seem to mind, having his fun with all those different parts of her body.

“P-Please I ne-need that thick cock in-,” she swallowed, “Inside me, sir. Please, I ne-need you to f-fuck me, I need it so much…”

“No.”

That single word took the wind from her sails. Was Eren seriously planning on turning her on this hard and then not finishing the job? He wouldn’t do that, would he?

“But sir I…”

“I have a question first, “, he interrupted Mikasa’s begging, “And I want to hear a truthful answer.”

The corners of his lips turned upwards.

“If you lie, I will punish you.”

Swallowing again, because her throat was just so damn dry, Mikasa nodded.

“Why are you so eager to do this photo contest shit? What’s in it for you?”

Opening her mouth, she closed it again, racking her brain for an excuse. She couldn’t tell him the real reason, he would probably just laugh and say how stupid it is.

“I just thought that it would be nice if you tried my line of work..”, she lied, watching him over her shoulder, “You know, we could bind over doing the same thing and…”

“You lie.”, two words, falling like stones.

Surprisingly, he let go of her then, and Mikasa thought that perhaps he gave up on the punishment, but then Eren spoke again.

“You will crawl into our bedroom and bring me the cane which I will spank you with. Now.”

And she did. Falling down on the floor, she moved on all fours like a dog, like the kitten she was, crawled to their bedroom and brought him the instrument of her discipline between her teeth. Her sex was throbbing at this point, sopping wet from all this treatment, and it didn’t look bright in the future either. Retrieving the cane from between her teeth, Eren twirled it between his fingers.

“Lean on the wall,”, he instructed her, “Legs open, wider, wider, that’s fine. I will hit you fifteen times for that lie, with you counting of course, and after that, I will ask you again. If you lie, I will continue with the punishment, if you say the truth, I will finally give you what you want.”

Exposed and open, just as he wanted, Mikasa braced herself for the impact. It still made her cry out, the bite of solid wood rather powerful, setting her backside on fire. To make matters worse, the ripples of the hit traveled all the way to the front, teasing her needy pussy even more. Eren knew what he was doing, the bastard, he knew that pain was pleasure when done correctly, and he was determined to get her as desperate as possible. Edging is fun, especially when he could watch her, watch that amazingly toned athletic body of hers move exactly as he commanded it too, letting him spank her just because he demanded it.

“One.”, she counted as instructed.

She made it up to eight without crying openly, but then the tears of pain overwhelmed her, making her sag against the wall. And Eren waited until she straightened her posture again, strict as he was, nudging her legs a bit wider with the wood. It was an intoxicating feeling, to see her writhe and cry while being disciplined, knowing that she has the power to stop it but won’t do it anyway. Mikasa was his kinky kitten, even without that collar around her neck, and Eren would give her everything she could ever ask for. The ninth smack made her shout, to sob out loud, but her posture held. Eren had trained her well. When the last hit came, Mikasa’s usually pale ass was positively red, painted over by the smartly placed strokes of wood. It hurt, but it was all done on the fleshy part of her butt, there was no chance of any serious damage inflicted on her. Eren was an experienced master.

“Going to talk now?”, he asked, the cane still ready in his hands, “Or do you need more persuasion?”

While the threat of more pain was a powerful motivator, it was that inferno between her legs that broke her. Mikasa needed to be taken care of, and she needed it a long time ago. With her legs wide apart like this, she couldn’t even rub her thighs together, she couldn’t do anything without Eren’s approval, and he wouldn’t give it to her until she said the truth. There was no other way out of this torment, he had her trapped.

“I just… I just want the other girls at the agency to see you too.”, she confessed through the tears, “The magazine is popular, the other models will read that article, they will know…”

She couldn’t look at him, admitting her reasons to the wall instead, unable to face Eren’s inquisitive gaze.

“I wa-…” she choked back a sob, “I just want them to know how insanely hot my fiancé is. I want to boast for once, god damn it!”

He sighed behind her. So this was the whole secret, the absurdity making him smirk a little bit.

“Miki, look at me.”

Mikasa did so, and her face, so ruined by tears, spit and cum, that was heartbreaking to watch

“And why didn’t you say it sooner?”, shaking his head, Eren let out a disbelieving laugh, “What’s wrong with that reason?”

“You don’t think it’s stupid?”

“Stupid? No! I did the same thing with you, don’t you remember? Back when Onya had those dumb comments about me being in a long-term relationship.”

Satisfied with her answer, Eren knew that this is the truth, this was the real reason for her eagerness. Shaking his head, Eren dropped the cane, running a loving hand over Mikasa’s beaten and bruised bottom.

“Do you still want me to fuck you?”, he whispered into her ear, “Or does it hurt too much?”

The suffering would surely be too strong if Mikasa wasn’t into it. Luckily, she was just as masochistic as her lovely partner, the pain twisting into pleasure in those dark corners of her body.

“I’m fine.”, she said, “Fuck me. And don’t hold back.”

Eren quickly dropped a hand between her legs, not wanting to make her wait anymore. Spreading her folds open, he slowly guided himself in, making Mikasa moan in pleasure. Finally. She was dripping, there was no need for foreplay, so Eren began pumping into her right away, short grunts ghosting against her neck. Her pussy was so perfect, it was hard to believe it wasn’t made specifically for him. They just fit so well together.

“You’re so fucking tight kitten,” he growled into her ear, “So hot and wet and silky, I could spend an eternity fucking you and I would still want more.”

Flesh slapping against flesh, the contact still sent flares of pain up from Mikasa’s backside, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of finally being filled, stretched to her limits by his girth. Bracing herself against the wall, she panted hard, feeling her insides contract and her toes curl against the floor. Being taken from behind did rob her of the sight of him, she couldn’t watch that beautiful dance of muscle on Eren’s body that was taking place when he fucked her, but it allowed him to reach those depths inside her, rub the head of his cock against those places that made her see stars. It made her hips snap back into his, buck in time with his thrusts, meeting him halfway. His hand wasn’t idle either, playing with her clit, rubbing her in tiny circles, determined to make her cum as hard as possible. Close, she was so close, and Eren took notice. Fingers speeding up, he toyed with that magic nub while steadily thrusting into her velvety heat, that combination so heavenly that it made her scream when the coil finally snapped. Her pussy clenching wildly around his length, her vision going white, Mikasa fell back into Eren, head on his shoulder, unable to hold herself up anymore. High on her climax, she let out a cute giggle that bubbled out of her chest, closing her eyes to savor the feeling to the fullest. Cunt clenching around his length, Eren knew that she was on her high, and worked to extend it for her as much as he could. Burying his face into her neck, muffling his groans by biting into her skin, creating another of those hickeys she would curse him for in the morning, Eren kept his tempo up. It didn’t stop him that he had to hold her weight up, it didn’t stop him that she didn’t help him anymore, lost in the stream of pleasure, nothing would stop him once Eren was determined. It was hard to keep himself from exploding inside her, when her inner muscles milked him, spasming around his cock, begging him for release. Yet Eren was determined to please his dark princess, to give her all the pleasure in the world.

The proof of Mikasa’s climax was running down her inner thighs, that heavenly feel prolonged by Eren’s fingers working her clit, doing those exact little circles that she enjoyed the most. It was a bit embarrassing when he asked her to show him how she touches herself, what she enjoys the most, but it was so incredibly worth it. It was slowly getting too much, the pleasure was not stopping. Bonelessly sagging into his embrace, Mikasa was just leaning on his body, head lolling back on his shoulder, panting for air while he kept moving inside of her, tireless. Her body felt like jelly at this point, thoroughly satisfied and fucked, unable to hold her thoughts together anymore. Seeing it, seeing how done she was and knowing that it was his doing, that it was his body that was able to make her lose it like this, that was enough to break Eren’s concentration. He cursed against her skin as he came too, his release mixing with hers, creating quite a mess between her thighs.

When Mikasa came back to reality, they were sitting on the floor together, as Eren’s legs probably gave way too, hunched into one sweaty, dirty bundle of bodies. Now that her hormones have calmed, she realized how incredibly filthy she is. There was cum on her face, her breasts, between her legs and on her inner thighs, everywhere. She needed a shower. Now. Eren thought so too because when he took notice of the life returning to her eyes from wherever heaven the strong orgasm sent it to, his first words were quite simple.

“Let’s get cleaned up.”

And Mikasa couldn’t agree more.

It was after that much-needed shower and after Eren gently rubbed soothing cream into her aching ass that Mikasa reviewed the fruits of their labor. She was lying down on the couch, on her front to avoid putting any pressure on her butt, scrolling through the photos. They were just as good as she remembered. Eren looked hot as fuck in the first one, the second one showed off both his tattoo and that nice shape of his ass, and the third one…. Despite just being thoroughly fucked, Mikasa had to bite her bottom lip. The third one was something else. The slight hint of the bulge, the submissive angle from below, that emerald fire in his eyes. Look, maybe the photoshoot wasn’t exactly professional, as models are not supposed to fuck the director’s brains out right after, as far as she knew, but who cared about such a formality. The third photo was incredible, and she couldn’t wait to send it to the magazine. The victory was theirs.

“Miki?”

She hummed, letting Eren know that she’s listening.

“I kind of forgot to tell you, but I met someone at Zackly’s shop.”

Oh, a meeting in the sex shop? This should be spicy. Putting down the camera for a second, she gave Eren her full attention.

“Do go on.”

“Ymir and Krista. And before you ask, yes, they recognized me.”

“Oh well, that sucks, but what can we do. “, Mikasa shrugged, “It’s the twenty-first century, it’s not like we are doing anything illegal.”

“I know, that’s not the point.”, he smirked at her, “In fact, they were there to start their own adventure.”

“Really….”

Mikasa could imagine Ymir being into some BDSM, but Krista? She was always so quiet and calm… Then again, Mikasa was also very quiet in public, and look at her now. Forced to lie on her front because her fiancé caned her ass so hard. Looks can be deceiving.

“Long story short, they asked me to come over someday, give them some pointers, maybe tell them some of the stuff we did.”, Eren continued, “And since you play a major part in those stories, I have to ask, would that be okay with you?”

Well, it was bound to make the next meeting a bit more awkward, but to hell with that. If Ymir and Krista wanted in on the fun, Mikasa would be the last person to hinder them in any way.

“Go for it.”, she nodded at her boyfriend, “I’m sure that they will appreciate it.”

Especially Ymir, Mikasa imagined. Getting his answer, Eren moved back into the kitchen where he was preparing their dinner and she was left alone to go back to the photos, once again looking them over. And the more she stared at them, the surer she was. This competition was won. And the other models over at Kiyomi’s agency would find out a thing or two about that usually quiet and stoic Asian girl.

#eremika #fanfic #snk #smut #hornyposting #bonk

42 notes · View notes

malethirsty · 4 years

Text

Dipped In Chocolate - Perry Stevens

Summary: Living in the town of Midsomer was both normal and risky all at once. When your friend Perry Stevens drags you into that risk, it’s up to you to make a decision that will change things forever.

Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (Wrap Before You Tap!)

Living in the county of Midsomer wasn’t your first choice of location, due to the often grizzly murders that took place there. It was as if a gangland war was happening right outside your back porch, however it was where you had grown up and the house you had was quite cute, and with life tricky on the housing market, you’d rather stay in a financially secured home. Not that everything was bad here though, the sights of nature were pretty to behold, the people were nice and you also had a crush on someone.

That someone was Perry Stevens, the man who delivered your groceries to you. His looks really struck you, all leather clad with rich brown skin, a pearly white smile and the best charm in the village, he stood out amongst the rest of the town, which was why he appealed to you, both of you in a place which didn’t fit you. You had often taken to ordering groceries from him not so you had a fresh stock, but also so you could stand and talk about things without worry of being shoved away or eschewed for something else. “So are you going to be attending the Stella Harris Film Festival?” You asked him, Midsomer’s resident former actress was having her work celebrated by Colin Yule at the Town Hall in a couple of weeks time “Figured I might stop by, maybe keep you company.” “That would be really nice, rather than have to squeeze past people I don’t know to grab a seat, Midsomer isn’t exactly Cheers.” Perry chucked at your reference and then beckoned you over. “Y/N, You don’t have to be so alone here, I mean you’ve made progress but the way you’ve been looking at me for some time, I’m ready to take the next step.”

You looked confused, where did you go beyond friendship? The obvious answer was romance but Perry had a girlfriend called Kate, so was he asking you to become a male mistress or something? Catching your confused look on his face he grinned and pushed a card into your hands “Call me when you’re ready.” He winked and made his way off your couch “Well I have to go and make some more deliveries, I’ll see you when I see you.” You saw him out the door as you’d done before, only a but more tentatively, wondering what was going on. After he’d pulled away on his bike, you glanced down at the card and gulped, on it was his name emblazoned in white under it the words: Grocery Giggolo For Hire. A phone number was also attached to it but you skimmed over that as shock reeled right through you, Perry was a prostitute! Half of you wanted to turn him in, and in any situation this would be the only thought, however the other half of you told you this was your chance, you had wanted to be with Perry for so long, now an opportunity awaited you. With shaky legs, you made your way to your bed to rest on it and ponder your decision.

Once you woke up, a mere few hours later, with every thought tossing and turning in your head, you had made a decision. Sex workers needed support because they didn’t have any other way to earn an income so it was like charity, except Perry was no charity case, he was like beauty showcased in flesh. You picked up your phone and called him, he answered almost immediately “Well hey babe, 9AM same time as your usual deliveries?” “Sure Perry.” You responded “Good. We’re gonna have a great time together, you’ll be begging for more.” He hung up swiftly and a bit more settled, you set about preparing that nights dinner using the produce.

The morning could not have come quick enough, you had picked out a random outfit, something casual yet skimpy all at once, cause you wouldn’t be wearing it long. At 8:59AM you stood awatching the clock, wondering what it would be like, was Perry sweet, was he rough, would he fuck passionately or like a demon writhing about? Most importantly, would things be the same afterwards? The second hand on the clock reached the number 12, changing the time to 9AM, you heard the doorbell ring and practically bounded to the door, the worry seemingly melting away, Perry was here! You opened the door to see him outside with his delivery, he grinned at you “Hey Y/N, I see you got ready for me, that looks real good.” You stepped back “Come in” you smiled at him and shooting a smirk back, he stepped over the threshold. He walked to the kitchen, dropping the supplies on the table, he then turned to you “Ready to dance with danger?” He grinned “Take me there Perry, that is if you’re man enough.” He backed you straight into the wall wrapping you into a tight kiss. His hands grabbed at your clothing ripping it off until you were naked “Bedroom, now.” His instruction was short, sweet and you immediately grabbed his hand and led him to your bedroom.

The blinds were drawn for obvious reasons, which meant the light had to be switched on, as Perry did this, you got onto the bed spread eagled so when Perry turned around, he could see your asshole puckering for him “Naughty Y/N, you want my big black cock fucking that tight hole, utterly wrecking it to where you won’t be able to walk for days?” You nodded eagerly “Good” he purred out, taking his clothing off roughly. Soon he was as naked as you & made his way onto the bed “Well get on over here. Suck my dick, cause that’s your lube.” You eagerly scrambled over to Perry and began to suck his cock, Perry throwing back his head and letting out a low lustful moan “Yeah, that’s right, suck my big black dick. You love that in your mouth huh?” You moaned your approval, making Perry groan at this and move his hand to hold you down “Taste the precum from my balls, you know what they say, The Blacker The Balls, The Sweeter The Juice!” You MMMed with appreciation as you tasted his precum, slightly bitter but you loved it, wanted more and Perry’s cock gushed more out. “Fuck yeah, you were made to suck my cock, good cockslut! You’re ready now, show me your ass.” You obeyed him, and he admired your hole before thrusting his cock deep in.

You didn’t know which of your moans were louder, but they both permeated the room as Perry fucked deep into you nice and smooth “Yeah, you’ve been hanging out for this haven’t ya? Never thought you’d get fucked in quaint Midsomer but here you are, taking my cock like a well trained slut. Looking so good fucking on my cock.” Perry’s delicious dirty talk was doing you in as much as fucking his cock was, you were utterly blissed but still managed to moan out a “Yes” Perry dipped even further in “Oh! Fuck” he groaned as your walls suddenly clenched around him, making you cry out “That’s it! That’s it! Right there Perry!” He grinned “Looks like I found your prostate babe, now you’re in for some great sex.” Perry changed his rhythm, now going faster with more recklessness as he concentrated on your prostate, as ‘Ohs’ fell from both of your mouths, causing you both to laugh which soon turned to outward horny moans from you as Perry attacked your neck, kissing and nipping down it, determined to leave hickeys.

You decided to step up as well and as soon as Perry emerged to look at you, all flushed out and needy, you buried your head into his arm pits and took a whiff of his scent, which reminded you a bit of a burning hot fire “Fuck, you like how I smell, why don’t I leave my B.O. smelling shirts here for you to inhale while you wank. I bet you’d like that, right?” You responded by licking his armpit lovingly and slowly, making Perry groan his satisfaction “Fuck, you may be the best fuck I’ve had to visit, so ready, so horny, so needy for me.” He increased his pace, this time moving up so you were now riding him with reckless abandon “Fuck Perry!” You moaned outwardly “Yeah, you love my dick, treating you right, fucking you real good, I bet you’re so close to cumming.” He was right, the pit of warmth had been building up but you’d been so fixated on Perry, you hadn’t recognised until now. “Yes, Perry make me cum! I need you to fuck me so good I orgasm from your cock alone!” Perry pounded into you with no control now, all that was there was a man desperate to orgasm “Fucking shoot Y/N, spill your load, all from my dick, my cock’s making you orgasm, thank my cock!” “THANK YOU!” You yelled at Perry, meaning every word, his prowess had taken away all composure, all you wanted was for him to fuck you forever. You screamed out as you shot your load, it coating you & Perry. You fell back with Perry fucking you sloppily now, needing to cum “Fuck babe, you’re gonna make me cum! You want me to paint your walls white? Want my load deep inside you?” You nodded shakily, needing Perry deep. He managed a few more shoves deep before growling “I’m gonna cum! Here it comes! FUCK!” Warm load after warm load shot deep into your ass, as Perry moaned aloud so beautifully as he collapsed, utterly puffed out.

“Fuck babe, I’m nackered as fuck. You wore me out.” Perry groaned out “Take the rest of the day then.” You suggested “I can’t boss’ll kill me.” “Right, well then rest for a bit, then do the other appointments then head back here and I’ll prop up some stuff for you to sleep.” You suggested, looking at your friend now looking content. “Y/N, you wanna be my boyfriend?” “What?” You responded “I thought I was another appointment?” “And give up that tight ass and cute smile? No, I’ve had more fun with you then any woman’s pussy. What do you say?” Perry looked at you waiting for an answer & you really didn’t need much time to think “Yeah, yeah I will be your boyfriend Perry.” He shot a pretty white smile at you, before eveloping you with another kiss “I’m so glad, cause now I have you, I’m gonna fuck ya so good this evening, you’ll be addicted to my big black cock.” “Bring it on babe” you smirked back at him, stimulating his nipples with your hand teasingly “Oh I plan on that” he responded with confidence dripping from his demeanour.

#Perry Stevens #Male Reader #Perry Stevens x Male Reader #Perry Stevens Smut #Midsomer Murders #Midsomer Murders Smut

39 notes · View notes