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#that's a quote i'll remember forever

their-eyes-were-watching-god · 2 years

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Nostalgia is a terrible thing. Sometimes I still think about you. I think about the love we shared and the passion we shared. The kind of passion that burned up roads wherever we went. We knew we couldn’t stay in each other’s lives. No matter what we tell anyone, we knew. That stupid high school love could never last forever the way our song sung that it would. It said forever and always but we both knew. Sometimes I think of how we were brought back into each other’s lives those few weeks before everything went to hell. Sometimes I still think of how you were the last man to ever touch my body. And that left a mark. But I won’t let it consume me. The love we shared was seen through rose colored glasses. The passion we had was only there because we knew we wouldn’t last and so we fought hard against the inevitable. Nostalgia is a terrible thing. To remember all of the good things so clearly and leave all of the bad things blurred. Nostalgia makes me miss you but reality forces me to see how fucked we were together. I won’t let it take me back to those moments we shared. I won’t let it take me back to you. You were the first man to ever enter my body and the last man to leave it. I won’t let you keep a hold of me when you never deserved me in the first place. Nostalgia is a terrible thing.

#nostalgia #excerpt from a book i'll never write #old love #high school love #i wont do it #i remember #do you remember #i hate you for making me feel like this again #my words #quote #i will always love you #I hate you #forever and always #unrequited love #look what you made me do #you make me sick #for you #leave me alone

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scumlafeccia · 2 years

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I'm making my own post because I'm not sure it makes sense lmao (it's late)

but I find it stupid to think that before the word "homosexual" was invented there was no concept of homosexuality, like even if there wasn't a word for it, attraction solely for one's sex was already a thing?? (or both, and of course for the opposite as well), like just because there wasn't a word for it it doesn't mean it didn't exist?? in the Decameron (14th century) there's a character who is evil incarnated and among his many sins and crimes he is also described as exclusively same sex attracted (something like "he loved women as much as a dog loves to be beaten, and he preferred to enjoy himself with the opposite") and yes of course he isn't the best representation (he's written as homosexual because that was more sinful than having female affairs) and all but it's pretty clear that there was an understanding of what homosexuality was

#if this flops I'm deleting it I'm just rambling and it's late lmao #also Dante literally has a whole chapter of inferno dedicated to sodomites - tho it includes bisexuals as well so it doesnt count #lella rants #i think I'll remember that quote from Boccaccio forever diocane #it was one of the first gay representations I've had probably lmao

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chokchokk · 11 months

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Can I request a San x Female Reader where It's her first time having sex and first time having an orgasmn. So San makes her squirt over and over before fuckin her. But at the end she notices blood and freaks out so he comforts her? Very smutty and fluffy please?

-AA

Im too embarrassed

dearest AA, “very smutty”, “very fluffy” and “too embarrassed” don’t co-exist in my universe, so i hope with this fic i could get some of your shame (?) away, babes <33 indulge in your desires and don’t hesitate to revisit me anytime !!! thank you for being my first requester xoxo

ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴇ! | choi san x fem!reader

“Don't go around calling me baby right now, or I'll turn like the San in your dream.”

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 : Your boyfriend is a wet dream, but this only goes so far, when your real dream leaves you confused and most importantly, curious. San is more than happy to help.

“How does an orgasm feel like, Sannie?”

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 : fluff (slice of life-ish), smut

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 : 10k

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 : 1st time, sex with communication, first orgasm, foreplay, explicit consent, fingering, squirting, protected (!) penetrative sex, bleeding, after-care; san is a great boyfriend, san has a big dick, that is actually important to the plot, established relationship, living together, a lot of sweet pet-names, teasing, domestic humour

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 : LMAO i’ll be honest i got carried away with the build-up (pls know this abt me; i’m a WHORE for build-up (sorry not sorry)) but if you want to jump to the spicy part immediately, go find the second border, the smut will start there!! enjoy in any way you want !!! <33 feedback would be greatly appreciated xoxo

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“Good night, Y/N. Dream of me~”, your boyfriend lulls, as you’re cuddled into his breast, San’s sturdy arm cushioning your body from below, stroking your head that’s under his. He just finished talking about his lucid dreaming recently, fascinated that he can remember more details now, but you interrupted his talking, when he iterated a fight to you where he got his nose bleeding.

“I don’t have to dream of you when you’re the dream already, Sannie,” you whisper, and with a giggle, he kisses your forehead. San has warned you about calling him ‘dream boyfriend’ multiple times, since he’s aways got, quote, “things to improve on”, but since it’s not dream husband yet, you’re left with no other description.

“Ohh, sugarplum,” he coos and and pushes your face deeper into the crook of his neck, “don’t say that.”

San is a special case in every which way; in the way he’s this buff guy with guns for arms that he uses to keep you warm when you sleep — in the way San is has the energy of a bull that he stashes away to sing his girlfriend a lullaby — in the way that the Choi San who has dated so many women in his past and hooked up with them (with no ill feelings in the present, of course) has settled down with you, Y/N, a woman with no prior experience other than the media she has consumed.

So you keep telling it yourself in secret. San is, and will forever be, a dream boyfriend. He’s as good to you as you are seemingly to him, but course the topic of sex, at least the lack thereof, crosses you two’s conversations from time to time.

It’s not like you had tried to save yourself for something, really not. It just… didn’t sound appealing to you, ever. You’ve shared to San that you don’t even masturbate that often, since you’ve never been able to get a satisfactory end— an orgasm— out of it. And while other men would laugh about such a thing, San has shown you nothing but understanding and support.

When you feel sorry for not being able to meet his sexual needs, he tells you he’s happy enough that you feel comfortable to share your discomforts with you. There is not one cell of his body that would mutate and judge you, San is fully devoted to your well-being.

What you forget sometimes is that while San is your first boyfriend, it’s your first time being a girlfriend, too. So being sorry for San is one thing, but wanting to love San more is another. At least you realised that this morning, when you woke up from your first ever wet dream.

You have been able to just ‘shake it off’ during the day and not think about it, but after San, being your soulmate he is, came up with the topic of “lucid dreaming”, and you could barely listen to his wild stories because of how distracted you were.

Maybe that’s why San thought you were tired and cuddled you to slumber so soon. Him cuddling you and getting your head under his chin is you two’s usual sleeping position, but well, huh… You’re not tired, not at all.

“I mean it,” you choke out, San humming, touched by your compliment, but of course he doesn’t know that by saying he’s a dream,you’re also referencing to how his hands were touching your private areas all around, his mouth in places that it’s never been in before in real life. ‘Tastes so good…’

“I love you so much, Y/N,” San exhales delightfully, fed by your fuzzy feelings, still caressing your head with gentle fingers, “but you know that I want you to hold me accountable.”

“Saaannie,” you murmur, your breath turning into a hot patch on his shirt, “just take it as it is.”

San notices your slightly agitated tone and chuckles, kissing your forehead again. “Y/N, my sugar-pie, what’s bothering you?” There has been no doubt in you that San wouldn’t catch on that you’re being weird, and though you’re really glad he did, it, for some reason, doesn’t make the topic any more easier.

“It’s—“, you begin to stammer, and with your struggle comes San’s immediate help. He shuffles back a little bit so he can take an analytical look at you, all blushed and worked up over a dream you can’t even remember the half of. San’s eyes are droopy, and while right now, it’s because he’s tired, in your dream, it was because he wanted to ‘eat you up…’

“It’s too embarrassing to explain.”

San gets the arm away from below and leans his head against his hand, propping himself up. “Embarrassing?”, he asks and pouts with a slight smile, his dimples digging deep into his cheeks. “Is it an embarrassing matter or just you who’s soooo easy to embarrass, huh?”, San grins and taps your nose one time with his finger to loosen you up, looking you straight in the eyes to give you all his attention. He’s showing to you that you, dearest, could never be embarrassing to him. Everything you do, he’ll take serious and anything you say, San will listen to it, as he’s shown you over and over again, reaffirming it to you every day and night.

‘I’m going to show you my love, all of it.’

San sees you licking your lips and putting your words together in your overwhelmed brain. You’re not nervous of how San will react, that is for sure, it’s just that… Where do you start? ‘Hey, boyfriend, I think I want to have sex with you?’ That does get the message across, but the words have to leave your mouth first.

It’s hard. You don’t think you’ve ever said the word, ‘sex’ in the context of… actually having it, let alone desiring it. San watches you spiral— starting to inhale, but then losing your words— and strokes over your head, humming “Just start with the basic outline—“

“I had sex with you in my dream.”

San stops stroking your head for a hot second and you two are just looking into each other’s eyes. San notices now how red you have become, how flushed you look, what a cute girlfriend you are for being embarrassed about this and shit, how lucky he is that you’re his and not anybody else’s girlfriend who you are so adorable playing with your hair right after you just dropped the “s-bomb” on him.

You don’t know what’s worse: Him, waiting for you to continue your talking before he can react to your … attention-grabbing introductory sentence, or you, not having anything to follow up. He probably expects you to tell your dream, but— but not in front of San himself, no! You’re quiet and continue to be, until he takes it upon himself to break the silence.

“… Did you wake up?”

Huh?

“What? Of course I woke up, I’m here now.”

“No, sweetie,” San wheezes softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, while you finally let your eyes stray away (his gaze is unbearable), “I’m asking whether you got to see the end of it.”

“The—“, you parrot him, and while you do San smiles sheepishly, apparently finding you so endearing while you are in mutilation, a foreign warmth growing in your stomach, “— end?”

“I just don’t want to scare you, Y/N,” San hums and twirls your hair around on his finger. “This is me asking where your head is in this situation.”

You blink and San pushes his lips out to indicate that he’s waiting for an answer, or at least something to give him to know if you’re in need of consolation or advice. “Uhm,” you inhale, “I… saw almost everything, I guess.”

His reaction could mean a lot. The dimple in his cheek getting deeper, his nose crunch, him sucking in his lip — it could mean a lot, but also so little.

“Almost everything,” San re-confirms, you know that this description is still very vague.

Gathering your shards of confidence, you murmur, “I mean… We saw each other naked often, so I think that’s why my brain could— do that, but when it came to that, it… You know. It surprised me.”

“That,” San repeats and by now, he definitely understands the superficial parts of your dream, but you have yet to drop any details. Was the dream a good one? Or well, was he good?

As expected, he wouldn’t dare to ask you that right now, looking at how you’re stammering awkwardly. You can still read it in his eyes though; his curiosity is asking you whether your dream has changed your attitude about sex, let it be for the better or worse.

You know San is going to show understanding regardless, right?

Yes, absolutely right.

“Y/N, sugar, we can talk about this tomorrow or any other day you like. I’ll keep it in mind, if that’s what you want.”

Maybe you should say something before San thinks the dream has made you negatively speechless. Well, it did make you speechless the whole day, but now, you’re almost bursting with the things you want to say, like they’re brewing inside you but not getting flavourful yet.

“No, Sannie,” you whine and put your hand on your eyes to hide yourself from his way-too sincere eyes. This isn’t how people do it in the movies or in the books. They usually just… get it on, no? Like they eat each other up, like it’s a necessity for survival, like eating to meet hunger, like quenching your thirst. You don’t know if this is a feeling like that. Whether the uncomfortable warmth inside you is truly the embarrassment but rather the reaction of your memories. ‘Let yourself be all over me.’

“Yes, sweetie,” San croons, removing his hand from your head to leave you by yourself even more, your palms resting on your eye sockets.

You love him. You’ve never doubted this, and you’re not doubting it now. From the moment he confessed his love to you, you having to get used to the idea of being in a relationship to now, almost a year later. You’ve mentioned it to him haphazardly already, but you’ve done everything except have sex. It had been San’s idea to ease you into the twosome-ness of it all; ‘let’s be each other’s person’. He said that in your dream, too, and finally you understood it.

You remember your long-lived confusion before today too well. San was your person as you were his, him with his own set of needs and expectations, you with your own — but weren’t they contradictory? San needed the sex, didn’t he? Like… sexual needs?

No, “sex isn’t a need”, San explained to you back then, “it’s a way!“

You tried to bring up the whole concept of orgasming being healthy to him, but he continued with “to me,” and you are reciting these words in your head as you try to think of something good to say, “sex is just one of many ways to love you, Y/N.”

So, truth be told, despite having a virgin girlfriend, he orgasms a healthy amount still. Sometimes San does it while you’re sleeping next to him, sometimes he feels like he can’t resist to look at your peaceful, tranquil, breathtaking face and does it in the bathroom, but essentially, he is not having sex, just getting rid of his ‘bodily mishaps’.

While you thought of sex as this strange way to get rid of stress, San thought of it as something way more, but he wouldn’t try to convince you of it, if you didn’t give him your “okay” to talk about it at all.

But here you are. Okay. You’re finally ready. Or maybe you’re not, but you’re ready to try, try with San, try San. He’ll be your person, get to know where you like to be touched, get to know where your sweet spots are and you will hopefully do just the same— touch, no, lick, no, touch, lick and suck everywhere he wants, pour your yourself over him. You’ve wanted to find out how to do that since you’ve dreamt of it since last night, processing the brain-sensation it has left you with for the whole day.

“Do you think you want to tell me about your dream first?“

“Can you kiss me?”

“H- huh?”

You get your hands from your eyes and your vision is too blurry to precisely get the picture of his rather shaken expression in. San thinks you’re bold. Mostly because that’s what you are right now. Bold. Still embarrassed, but encouraged and desperate. “Can you kiss me?”, you ask again before you fall into another pile of self-embarrassment.

“I can, but I don’t know how it’s going to help—“

You pull his face closer to yours with both of your hands and San is the one who slightly turns red now. “Y/N,” he pants, and you have to suppress a cheeky smile, when you push his cheeks together to form a duck-face.

Until you notice he’s not being sulky with the way he’s trying to push you away.

It takes you a while, how would you know that it was so easy to get men erected? Okay, you’ve seen San get a boner in the most uncomfortable situations several occasions, but usually they weren’t because of a direct cause.

If he had worn a baggier set of pants, you probably wouldn’t have seen it, but it’s only his shorts today, and the whole outline of it is almost jumping into your face, you couldn’t have not seen it. Not remarking it also wouldn’t have helped the situation. Your situation. ‘I won’t stop, I won’t stop fucking you all night.’

“Is that why you don’t wanna kiss me, Sannie?”, you murmur and flutter with your eye-lids, once your realise you’ve been staring for too long down there.

In contrast the voyeuristic scene, it strangely does not become one of those erotic moments; with San’s whiny chuckle, it actually becomes kind of … bonny. Him getting a hard-on, when his girlfriend is quite figuratively trying to open up with him, it becomes a small detail to poke fun at, one to laugh about it with an amiable awareness that you’re not mocking each other.

“I’m sorry— ignore this— I can ignore this,” San tells you and flops on his back, grabbing all of the blanket to roll around it and leaving you cold with less. “Hey!”, you pout and grab the seam of the blanket to get under it, but San gets ahold of your wrists to prevent you from cuddling to his side.

Maybe it’s because there’s nothing else occupying San’s mind and body right now, with you knowing it, or the way you can’t keep your hands off of him and he’s desperately trying to avoid your touch, it seems like a short game of cat-and-mouse.

“I don’t care that you’re hard, Sannie!”, you whine and search for his vicinity, but he wiggles away, forcing you to be a bit more assertive and wring with him.

“But I do!”, he exclaims, not really understanding the weight that your words hold. You just told him that you’re not appalled by his erection, that should be a big sign that you’re, uh, up for conversation, no? Why are you being like this? Maybe to keep up the tension? Because it’s fun? Fun playing around with San— to watch him try to use as little strength as possible, knowing that once he gets just the tiniest bit of muscle in, you’ll be overthrown?

“Sannie,” you make a sullen face, breathing out, at your third try to get your arms around him with San’s hands on your wrist, but when you get caught in the blanket with your leg that he keeps pulling, it’s over the second he yanks you to the side.

Yanking you to the side meaning pulling you by your whole body— you landing on his belly, arms awkwardly angled towards your torso, leaning into his face.

“You men”, you theatrically moan to tease him even more and San is fighting with all his inner voices right now. Most of them are just empty screams of ‘what is happening?!’, but also muscle memory persuading him to wrap his arms around your perfect waist and pin you down— he’s trying, that’s what he’s yearning to tell you by pushing his eyebrows down. “I’m sorry.”

“Ohh, Sannie,” you sigh, letting your head drop on top of his breast, crossing your fingers into San’s, while he manages his breathing.

“This is why I’m no dream man, Y/N,” San pouts, feeling guilty having used his power over you.

“It’s natural, isn’t it?”, you answer — letting your hands fall to each side of San’s body, and you feel like one of those people that usually tell you the same thing when the fact that you’re a virgin slips off your tongue. ‘It’s natural, isn’t it? That couples have sex?’ It should be and it’s going to be, thank you.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… I was really not prepared for that,” San wheezes and he raises one of your intertwined hands to touch your fingers with his lips.

“What? The cuddling or the dream?”

“The cuddling, in the context of the dream,” he answers honestly and inhales your sleepy scent from your fingertips, feeling how comfortable you lay on top of him.

“It was a good dream,” you conclude.

This was what San was trying to find out. Good or bad. And to his luck, it was good. Very good. ‘Such a good girl… So good to me.’

“Y/N?”

You accidentally zoned out, re-imagining your reverie; San all over you, sweat dripping down from his skin onto yours, his pelvis pistoning into your raised legs. How had your brain come up with that? It felt so… real. “Sorry, I got lost there for a second. What did you say?”

“How was he, that San in your dream?”

“The San in my dream, he,” you chuckle, feeling your breathing accumulate to your boyfriend’s, “… did everything, but he wasn’t careful, no.”

“What?!”, San exclaims, and it seems like he’s offended by his alter-ego to dare such a thing— he lets go off your hands in the shock and grabs you by your shoulders. “Not careful?!”

“Hmm,” you try and calm him down, letting your hands glide onto his pillowy breasts, massaging your fingers into his flesh by circling them, “he was inside… But a bit… Too fast for my liking? I mean, I don’t know my liking… I was enjoying it in my dream, but— uhm, I don’t think I could handle so much right now?”

San hums, as in to show that he heard what you said, but it took him a second of you burying your hands inside his armpits to inhale, “wait, right now?”, and remove his hands from your shoulders.

“Sannie,” you murmur with closed eyes, the buzzing feeling inside your lower abdomen swaying you to something like slumber, but if you’re not mistaken— and you’re sure that you can’t be mistaken about your own thoughts— it’s not a slumber that can be cured by sleep, but rather something else, “I couldn’t think of anything else today.”

He’s silent. He’s still breathing— thank goodness— but even though you can hear his breath leave his mouth, it doesn’t seem like San is going to say something. Pushing your upper body up, you tilt your head down.

He’s silent, sweaty and breathing, breathing heavily, staring upwards at you with sunken eyes, unable to let any of his thoughts leave the safe space of his mouth, because if San did, he’d give himself trouble for it. Seeing you fix your gaze— eyelids droopy from having been smushed into his breast— seems to only be adding fuel to his loss of good sense, and San is praying in his head that you won’t lick your lips once more, because oh god, if you did, you are going to be in so much more trouble than he is.

“Baby?”, you ask, and you swear you’re not trying to provoke him, since you only call him baby in the most special occasions, but right now, it just slipped out of you because San is being a bit strange.

Boyfriends don’t act like this, do they? Your boyfriend doesn’t; that, you can be sure about.

“Sorry,” you correct yourself, hopefully to get rid of some of his— well, what was it— anxiousness?— no, frustration?, “I didn’t mean to say ‘baby’. It just slipped out.”

“N- no, Y/N, it’s not your fault, it’s mine,” San whines. “This may sound really weird, but while I would rather die than hurt you, sugar-pie,” he murmurs, avoiding your heavy gaze on him, “I am… a man. And I don’t know how comfortable you are with me, but I am fully, undeniably erected, Y/N. Don’t go around calling me baby right now, or I’ll turn like the San in your dream.”

“How does an orgasm feel like, Sannie?”, you ask, purposefully innocent, but still in a way that makes it obviously suggestive, your tone dropping in an octave from its initial high-tone embarrassment. Where is your sudden confidence coming from? You don’t know, but- uh- well, you’re kinda over San here, both mentally and physically, it seems like.

“It feels like…”, San sighs, both reminiscing his lifetime of orgasms and feeling pretty fucking awkward in general, to be explaining this to you, while his body is screaming for him to do anything but talking.

“… It feels like being washed over by refreshing water on a hot summer day, after easing yourself into it with small splashes.” San is no poet and he sees this by how you’re flexing your face together, trying hard to understand.

“It feels like…,” he starts again, and you can swear you are feeling something twitch underneath you, and it’s probably his hard erection. “… Orgasm feel like, wow… How do they feel like, they— Uh…”

Somewhere between his words, San is looking at the ceiling, letting his eyes wander around everywhere your body isn’t laying dangerously close to his throbbing genital, but having to tell you how orgasms feel like is just the end of his senses. Now it’s not only his body urging him on, his girlfriend is trying to find out how they feel like without having experienced one, ever.

“… They are worth it.”

He’s trying to be a good boyfriend, but up until now, he’s been used to being the boyfriend of a virgin girlfriend who didn’t want sex at the moment. And that was the end of it. Definitely more than manageable, more doable than … this.

“Do you think I can enjoy them too?”, you question, revealing to him the true nature of your curiosity.

You’ve confirmed the pulsation between your legs seconds ago, when San let out a whine from his mouth, that was definitely not intended to sound as sexual as it did. You’re a virgin, not dumb, you know what’s seductive, sultry and arousing. Oh, you’re aroused, alright, maybe for the first time in your life— and your boyfriend is, too, so if this puzzle isn’t going to be put together this night, there must be something wrong in the air.

“I can’t speak for you, sugarplum. It was your dream, Y/N.”

“I don’t know how we started, but we were here, on our bed, naked, and you were… thrusting into me with this… almost scary vigour, it was— It was rough. And that one, I didn’t enjoy. You looked mean, Sannie.”

“I’m sorry,” San pouts and he looks downwards to show how sorry he is, but also to focus on your words only. If he sees your sweet face describing those things one more time, then he’ll have to disappear into the toilet soon. “I would never treat you like that.”

You blink a couple of times and lick your lips. “How would you treat me?”

“I would,” San mutters, finally meeting your eyes again, while he slowly, but surely begins to prop himself up by angling his arms, getting to your face-level. “I would treat you with care, reverence—with tenderness; I would get every inch of your skin to understand how it feels to be seen and loved, I would—“, he pants, he’s unable to breathe through his nose, and he just keeps on talking, he…

“YN, I— I would do everything to get to make your body flourish with my love, to make your heart grow with all I have, I want to—“

He goes silent.

Yes, San is a man. But it’s strange to you how he blames being a man for his weakness, but if there is a strong suit that your boyfriend has over you, it’s not being so strong that he can pull you down in a second— it’s having the mind of a lover, and a lover who promises to protect everyone he loves with his strength, and not because he’s getting his own satisfying release out of it.

A man and a lover; San is also your boyfriend, who knows what to tell you to make you grow weak. Let’s say he doesn’t do it a lot for reasons that include wanting to protect you, but as you are on top of him, listening to his words from beneath you, his words melt like fizzled honey on your tummy, crumbling with them.

“I want you, Y/N. And that’s my selfish dream.”

Being pulled down by gravity as San’s upper body rises, down to his crotch, you let him work his silent ways. He pushes himself up the last inch that it takes to be under your face, and his skin radiates heat onto yours.

There is not even a centimetre separating you two and San finally finds his words. “Please”, he begs, his voice above a whisper, “let me be your dream, Y/N.”

“I thought we already went through that,” you chuckle, getting your arms on each of San’s shoulders now, “baby.”

You can see he’s enjoying this a little too much, the way San is thoroughly covering every inch of your skin with butterfly kisses, as he has you laying on your back, letting you rub your hands over his torso to get used to the ‘intimacy’-part of it all.

Getting naked was an easy process, being exposed to the very last skin on the other hand, not. You’ve never been naked in front of him for this specific occasion, and since he knows, San doesn’t dare to rush you into more touching than needed, allowing your underwear to wrap around your privates until he’s finished giving you goosebumps all over the body.

With his soft lips, San kisses your shoulders and collarbones, whispering words of comfort into them, while you try your best to not make any lewd sounds. You didn’t know they came naturally, you had thought it was acting but — oh, goodness — no.

“Sugar,” San sputters— rearranging himself over you, one knee between your legs, the other over your leg, “let ‘em out. Let the sounds out.”

You gulp, as he glides his hand across your stomach to your lower abdomen, slightly scratching the seam of your panties, and San has placed his lips at your jawline, his voice vibrating in your ear, peppering kisses around the corner of your neck, entrancing you to fall deeper into your mattress, sighing in the calming feeling of your boyfriend.

“Only because you wanna hear me,” you murmur and wrap your arms around his upper body, running your hands across his back muscles that ease into your touch. “And that’s a bad thing, because…?”, San hums and begins to get lower with his kisses and his thumbs caressing where your pantyliner meets your thighs, warming up the small patch of skin there.

“Hmm,” you breathe out, San’s lips working their way down your cleavage, “Good… point.”

San smirks and brings his hands up, not letting a second pass where he is not feeling you under his fingertips. “There is nothing more that I want to hear,” he murmurs, his eyes appearing to become a bit foggy from your scent, San becoming absolutely lost in it, “except you, my love.”

Your breath comes out stuttered and stroke his bangs away to the side in order to have a better view on his face above your breast. He’s radiant, but as much as he’s excited to be doing this, San will stop as soon anything leaves your mouth asking him to, he promised you. In your dream, San just kept going. That’s why you didn’t want to retell the story. He forced you around, he thrusted into you with no choice, and he wouldn’t stop, until your dream cut off without you having orgasmed once throughout the thing.

So the dream itself didn’t get you to want this, and San knows this, the curiosity did. Curiosity of reaching the edge that you missed in your sleep, which you think you can only reach with the real San, with your real boyfriend.

“Can I touch you here, sugar?”, San asks, his upper body hovering over your torso, lips approaching your face, hands gliding up by your waist to meet your ribs. He’s done a good job not staring at your exposed nipples, but following the way from your jawline, neck, and collarbones, this is the next area to appreciate.

“Yes, please,” you answer, cupping your boyfriend’s cheek with one hand, inviting him to kiss you softly. San encloses your breast with a hand that has up to no muscle tension in it, kindly allowing it to get used to the new, but warm contact.

His rosy lips meet yours and he presses several kisses on them, reminding you of how much familiarity you’re dealing with right now. You kiss San all of the time, for all the reasons you love him, and as he kisses you right now, at this sleepy midnight, he’s showing you why sexual intercourse is just a fancy term to describe something so complex, that it actually becomes simple. He loves you. That’s all he has to do to have or not have sex with you.

With his palm, San brushes over your nipple, and by wonder, it hardens and makes goosebumps run over your back.

“You look so beautiful,” San lulls, smooching your lips one more time before he can finally take a look at your breasts and gulp, lick his lips, and ask you, “may I?”

“You may.”

The last kiss lingers delicately on your opened lips, as San breathes in your breast, kneading and softening it up. Automatically, you exhale and run your fingers through his uncombed hair. He sucks once and twirls his tongue around your hardened nipple, and with your very valuable feedback, his other hand draws a long line across your curvature.

“Sannie... Baby…”, you whine, the slow, but sensual licking sending you down a sensation of being tickled and being caressed at the same time.

“Yes, pie?”, San grins, proud that he’s making you feel this way, no, that it’s him that is making you feel this way for the first time in your life. With each of your sweet sounds, his pride and ego grows and his lips lap around your nipples razzingly.

You tug at his hair and send him down deeper into your skin, slightly pushing him to get his head where you’ve found that you feel best, grabbing the fabric of the bedsheets under you with your other hand.

“It feels so good,” you whine, and San chuckles after seeing your grip, gliding his hand right between your ticklish fingers.

“Yeah?”, he coos and presses another kiss onto your mouth, adoring the way your eyebrows twitch inside according to his voice. “I’ll make you feel even better…”

San caresses the area under your boob, whispers into your ear, “Will you let me?”, and you nod, words inside your head turning into hazy exhales out of your mouth.

“You won’t regret it,” San chuckles and crosses his fingers into the surface of your hand, using your own hand to slowly, but surely slide down your stomach. You kind of get the idea of what he’s trying to do, but not really the image.

“You think I won’t regret it?”, you ask him, a bit anxious, — it’s your first time, after all— your soft skin under both of your fingertips becoming one, as he leads the hand down. “I don’t know so,” San admits, comforting you by kissing your forehead, “so I’m going to make you believe it, first.”

“Hm?”

San pushes his upper body up with the hand that has been at your breast and glides it behind your back, so he can get between you and the mattress, his naked upper body pressed against your shoulder. He plants an uncountable number of kisses onto your neck, and assists you down to your panties, keeping his eyes on you to confirm you’re okay with all that he’s doing.

You’ve never touched yourself on this bed. The last time you did was somewhere in your gleeful high-school teens, long before you met San, and if you’re honest, you’d rather have him touch you, but when San kisses you on the lips and both of your hands slide under the seam of your underwear. The rough fabric of the lace scrapes San’s hand and you meet the hot slickness you’ve become inside.

“Would you look at that,” San purrs, voice wispy— his finger is the only one to glide against your wet labia and explore the untouched lips. It helps that your hand is down there too, and it feels like a rubber hand illusion, you touching yourself while San does it for you.

“Y/N,” San moans into your ear, stirred by the sensation that is you. “You feel so good, don’t you, sugar?”

You inhale sharply, when San’s finger strokes over your clitoris, and straight away, your boyfriend presses kisses onto your temple. “S- Sannie,” you whine and provoked by your sounds, his finger circles around your clit again.

Sparks, tingles — you name it. With San kissing you all around the face to counteract the new stimulation, you can’t keep your legs straightened, folding your thighs around your and San’s arm with an overwhelmed sigh. “Sannie…”, you repeat yourself and look him in the eye.

“Aww, sugar,” San smiles and catches your forlorn gaze, flushed and drowned in his kisses. Your cheeks are burning red, but the same thing goes for San. Both of you are drunk in love, falling for each other deeper with every breath you take.

“Is this good?”, he asks and rubs your back with his thumb, the other finger teasing the slick entrance. “Y- yes,” you answer and San crunches his nose in admiration, slowly easing his finger around the tissue.

“Can you touch yourself for me?”, is San’s second question and you gulp at the sincerity in your boyfriend’s voice. He’s talking two octaves deeper, raspy, lascivious; he’s promiscuous in all he is doing, let it be nibbling at your earlobe, rubbing your clit, caressing your spine with utmost libertine care— you have a feeling you’re developing another crush for your boyfriend.

“Y- yes,” you stutter, but a bit anxious about doing something wrong. It feels so right when San does it, but he’s the more experienced one in this— at least that’s what you think. He removes his hand from the surface of yours and lets you do the rubbing for a short moment, and you try to replicate what he did to you, flicking your finger over your clitoris.

“Doing it so well,” San comments and he raises your upper body with his arm, making you sit up, slithering down while smothering your lower abdomen with sloppy kisses.

“R- really?”, you ask, and San nods, while kissing the inner sides of your thighs, his eyes looking at you sideways. “Of course. It’s your body, Y/N. Your beautiful, gorgeous body.”

As San gutters, you feel something swaying on your clit, when your boyfriend smirks and looks directly at your pussy. He’s so handsome, San is making you nervous, and his eyes are drilling into you lustfully.

“You’re so beautiful everywhere, sugar, what have I done to deserve this?”, he pants, hooking himself from under your thigh, hands resting on your hip bone.

You don’t know what to answer and just flutter with your eyelashes, exhaling, when San sticks his tongue out and slides across your slickness it in one stroke, looking up at you to catch your whiny reaction. He deserves all of it, not because he was patient enough to wait for it, but because San is the one to make you feel this pretty in the first place.

“It’s probably really predictable I was going to say this, but I can’t not say it, ” San gutters, his dimple dug deep into his cheek— he’s smiling, licking his lips, “you taste amazingly sweet, my love.”

You press your lips together and feel like you have to push San into your arousal again by his hair, combing through it. “D- do it again,” you beg, and San’s heart flutters. Not letting you wait, he inhales through his nose and laps his mouth around your glistening cunt. You already knew he was good with his tongue for you have french-kissed him before, but— but this is another type of tongue-work.

It’s slow, it’s sensual, but it still feels so exhilarating— how he’s sucking in your clitoris, laving over your muscled entrance that reacts to the movement of his tongue; it makes you breathe heavily and let out feathery moans.

“Feels so good,” you hush, and stroke his hair. San hums and at smiles with his eyes, getting one hand away from your leg to slowly run it towards your vagina.

“Are you really going to … make me cum?”, you ask, a bit plumply, both out of rush and nervousness.

“I would like to, yes,” San answers, kissing you all around the pelvis bone. His lips have become plump and his nose is also painted rosy red from how he planted his face into you. “Will you allow me to?”

“Please be careful,” you appeal and San nods. “Yes, Y/N. I promise I will never do anything to you that will hurt you. Not like that stupid… dream-San you talked about.”

You chuckle and caress his jawline with your thumb, San leaning his head into your hand. “I know you would never do that, Sannie,” you say and prop yourself with an elbow. “Please make me cum.”

San wants to say something, but he bites his lip and suppresses it, crawling closer to your throbbing, heated pussy. “What is it, baby?”, you ask him, and this time, you deliberatelywant to tease him by calling him that, winking slyly at him.

Your boyfriend blinks in disbelief and lets out a light-hearted scoff, his breathing comes in and out stuttered. “Y/N,” San hums, putting a leg over his shoulder and you feel like more air is hitting your wetness, “you have no… idea… what those words are doing to me.”

Your boyfriend gulps, and as you peek at him innocently, having to get used to the new position, he looks amazed and set ablaze. Is this your ‘aroused face’? You, with your lips parted ever-so soppily, looking sultry and lovable— San is savouring this sight, oh, this sight, and saving it into his brain so it will never leave his mind, add it to the collection of his memories of you.

“Show me,” you whisper, a fire starting to enflame in you, demanding San to extinguish it.

“There’s nothing else in the world I’d rather do,” San hums and with that sentence, he’s at your cunt again, but more eager this time. The tongue flicks faster over your clitoris, his pants are getting breathier against your skin— San wants you, wants all of you, and before you know it, there’s a thumb rubbing at the entrance, notifying you that he is going to be penetrating soon.

“I’ll make you come over and over,” San breathes, and his eyes are filled with lust, hunger, desire, thirst— and you gasp at the sight of it alone, but his voice, his heart, his mind, is all painted and drowned in something purely innocent that is love. “Is that alright with you, sweetheart?”

He asks as if you stand a chance to resist him, but San seems to be doing this for the enjoyment that is pleasing you, and you’re more than happy to allow him to have his body all over yours for the sakes or it, because you love him so much. You’re already excited for when you know how to get your body all over his.

“That,” you exhale, feeling his thumb be replaced by his digit, the muscle of your entrance closing in on the finger tip, “is alright with me. I’m in, Mr. Choi, the deal’s settled.”

San chuckles at your light-hearted joke and you giggle as well, which allows his finger to glide into you slowly. Of course you’re tight, but you find it fascinating how your muscles ease around him and suck his finger in, the slickness squelching, as he licks over your slit.

“Looking forward to our cooperation,” he grins, lips pressed against your pussy and you can feel yourself slowly turning into mush. Your abdomen feels strangely ticklish, and there’s this pulling feeling that makes your body rock.

“… Ms. Choi.”

You scoff— San gave you his last name, how silly of him— but your amusement doesn’t hold on for too long, when San begins to move his finger around, angling it up and down.

“Mmhf,” you gutter and your legs close down on his head, the second leg finding its place on his other shoulder. “That—“, you try to gasp, but San being the quick learner he is, keeps stroking that one spot which got to this reaction in the first place.

“S- San!”, you whine; fuzzy, dizzy, light-heated, feeling like you’re going to shoot into space, to other worlds, and come right back to earth. In the meanwhile, your boyfriend’s tongue flicks even faster, head stuck between your thighs, his finger sliding in and out of you until you’re a whimpering mess.

“I’m here, baby,” he murmurs, finally looking up to you, wishing to meet your eyes again, but your head is rolling to the back, your upper body feels heavy and you slightly fall to the back, having to grab his hair to support yourself.

“I- I,” you stutter, feeling like there’s something that’s sizzling for explosion, and it seems San is feeling it too, in the way your pussy is tightening around his finger, and half-laughing out of glee about this discovery, San props himself up a little bit, your lower body raised from the mattress.

“Cum, sugar, cum,” he whispers, and as he adds a second finger that fills you up in a way that one finger couldn’t achieve, you fully suffocate him with your thighs, the thin string holding you away from release finally snapping.

“Fuck!”, you moan, and at first, San is surprised about your cussing, but then his eyes grow big, when there is more fluid coming out of your vagina that hasn’t been there beforehand. Explosion, sweet release, what should you call it? An orgasm— that’s what this is, but no, you’re also squirting, lower body spasming as you do so, and San is trying to react quickly by slurping it all in, but it’s too much— your bed gets wet. He drives the two fingers in and out and makes you a mess, makes a mess, makes you messy, getting all your squirt out and inside his mouth.

“San— Sannie— Baby!”, you pant, overstimulated by his fingers and lips that will just not stop, and you fear you’re going to choke your boyfriend to death with your thighs, but the same tingle appears in your lower abdomen again, felt everywhere in your tightness.

“Come on, come on, come on,” San growls, short of breath, and by angling his fingers upwards your walls, you see stars again, throwing your head into the bed and you pull at his hair, harshly and roughly, gripping his scalp for dear life, when you’re shot into bliss again.

“Ooooh baby,” San howls wispily, repeating his motion, but less ecstatic this time in order to not make you pass out from pleasure, if that happens at all.

And as licks the remaining fluid of his lips, and gets you back down again, San doesn’t lose any of his excitement, hair ruffled by your grip, lips swollen from using them so much. “Can I do that again? Can I please do that again?”

“Wha— What about you?”, you ask, panting, knowing that the penis inside his pyjamas has been hard since almost an eternity, but it seems like San doesn’t care about that at all. He looks euphoric, he looks like he saw a god (a goddess, mind you) and San just shakes his head.

“Don’t think about me, I’m,” he admits, and what you don’t know is that he just came inside his pants, when San saw your stunning orgasm-face— and he definitely has to clean it up before it soaks through, “all cared for here.”

San shuffles away from your legs to your face and kisses your forehead, wiping a bit of sweat away. “I’m gonna get towels and you’re gonna make yourself ready for a second time, alright?”

“But—“

“Will there be a ‘but’?”, San asks, and he’s prepared to let all go and just take a shower, but you just scratch your neck. “Don’t you want to fuck … me?”

“Ohhh, don’t worry, sugar, I want and will,” San grins and you smile, feeling a bit light-headed because of your first orgasm. For this to be your first orgasm, while many of your friends had their first time without having orgasmed—… it’s a lot, to admit the least.

Not to say that you’re trying to compare with them and feel superior, but if this is what’s waiting for is worth, you’d spend all that time again.

Again. And again, and—

“Again!”

You’re breathing heavily, skin slippy from your sweat — or, well, both of you are covered in body fluids, there are pearls of sweat dropping down on San, who, despite rubbing you clean with his hands, doesn’t even bother anymore to dry his wet arm anymore.

“Sannie,” you exhale, when San kisses your from behind, as you sit between his legs, “I- I th-think this is enough, I’m r-ready.”

“Hmmm?”, he hums, pressing his naked upper body at your back, his two fingers coming out of you for the nth time. Your hips have been spasming around for a long while now, and you feel sensitive and over-stimulated at your clitoris, but if there is one thing you’re still curious about after all those orgasms, it’s how San feels inside you not with his fingers but his girth.

“I want your dick inside,” you command directly, too sex-drunk to express your wish in any other way.

“Are you sure?”, San asks and kisses the nape of your neck. “We can do it any other time, sugar-pie, aren’t you tired by now?”

“Are you?”

“Of course not.”

You turn your head around and slightly pant, seeing San not lose any of his desirous colour in his eyes. “Then let’s not lose any time.”

San presses a deep kiss on your temple before he leaves your back, and you feel the warmth of his lips sit there, as he positions himself at the front, on his knees. He still has his boxer-shorts on, but that only goes so far, when he’s been leaking with pre-cum, never-mind has come in the same set an hour ago.

You can see it perfectly— San’s length, his girth, the way it moves by itself under the fabric; it looks captivating as much as it is arousing you again after all the times you’ve orgasmed this evening.

“Do you want to touch me?”, San asks, and trails his own hand over his breast, giving you an idea of what you can do to pleasure him.

“Yes, baby,” you answer and get on your knees as well, grabbing San by the hips and caressing the seam of his shorts with your thumbs. In the meanwhile, your lips seek for his vicinity and you place kisses on his neck. “I’d love to.”

“I love you so much,” San sighs and holds you by your head tenderly with both hands, cupping the circular form, feeling you get a taste of his sweaty skin at his neck. His Adam’s apple bops, when you slightly pull his boxers down and there’s resistance from his erection.

“You have a big dick, right?”, you ask, and San coughs— he was expecting you to say ‘I love you’ back first.

“U- uh,” he stammers, “yeah. It’s- uhm. I hope it’s not too big, Y/N.”

“Can it be too big?”

You ask him with genuine curiosity and San scratches the back of his head. “I was preparing you thoroughly for it, honey, that’s all… I can say.”

He harrumphes in the awkward conversation, and before he can get shy from your stare, you chuckle and kiss him, “I love you too, Sannie. I couldn’t imagine doing this with any other person.”

Your boyfriend slides his hand to your jaw and pulls up your head to kiss you, mumbling, “only do this with me, Y/N,” into your lips.

As his lips work against yours, you slide down your hands into his boxer-shorts and use your wrists to spread the spandex, getting San’s underwear off.

With your eyes closed, you hear San breathe in deeply through his nose and he rubs your back with both of his hands to push your naked body against his.

His dick feels hot, wet and mild, when it presses against your abdomen, and you subconsciously grind your lower body to identify it better. It is big. The two fingers don’t even come close to what you’re working with here, and in the moment, it’s really good that you feel loosened up by the numerous times San made you come.

“Please touch me,” San instructs you and you nod, opening your eyes to see his glistening tip pointed towards you. Without waiting, you leniently wrap your hand around it and San parts your lips to pant.

“I don’t think I’ll hold on for long,” he whimpers, and his pelvis twitches, when you squeeze your hand around the soft, heated, slick muscle.

“Wait, Sannie… Do we have condoms?”, you ask and to your surprise, San opens up the cupboard. You loosely remember when San asked you if he should buy condoms at the beginning of your relationship, and you know that you answered with an ‘I don’t know’ back then.

A year later, it turns out San has bought a pack, but didn’t talk about it until the time was ripe. “Do you want to do it for me?”, he asks you, ripping apart the plastic wrapper with his finger and mouth. That this took a wet dream to realise is funny to you, but as you’re in the moment, you can only gulp in anticipation.

You nod and continue to pump his length in your grasp, when you’re handed the flimsy condom. Is that even going to fit around him?

“Yes, it is going to fit,” San giggles at your subconsciously asked question, and then kisses you, “did dream-San wear a condom?”

You place the center of the condom on the tip of penis and slowly glide down the lubed silicone by the ring.

“No, I don’t think so,” you murmur, though you couldn’t care any less about your dream right now. San hums and bucks up his hip into your hand, making the condom hit the end of his length.

It frankly looks quite comical, the way the white outlines your boyfriend’s dick, but before you can laugh, San delicately pushes you at your ass— other hand on the back of your head to not make you hit the bed-frame, with you landing on your back, legs angled towards the sky.

San tsk’s about his alter-ego’s wrong-doings and shakes his head. “I think your brain has a very twisted image of me.”

You chuckle at how sulky San is about it, though you can’t take any responsibility. You also don’t know how your brain cooked up the imagination of San ramming into you raw, especially when your biggest fear has been that things were going to hurt. (Now that you know they don’t, you’re good to go, you think.)

But the real San touches you softly, carefully, endearingly faintly, even if his dick looks intimidatingly big; you’re covering your mouth at the sight of it alone.

“Come on, don’t be shy now,” San grins and flops his protected peen on your pussy, the girth of it weighing down on your sensitive bud.

“Sannie, baby, please be gentle,” you whine and San caresses your cheek, not finding your plead in any way offensive.

“I will, sweetheart,” he whispers, and his voice sounds sweet, melts sweetly in your ears, but when his tip is there, at your entrance, you have to grab his hand at your cheek forcefully.

It’s a stretch. If you had known it would have come to this, you would have asked San to add a third, no, maybe even a fourth finger, but maybe he knew too, that even that wouldn’t have helped with a lot.

Not to say that it hurts, but to feel your muscle be extended as he just pushes in the tip, you’re already panting. San intertwines his fingers and leans forward, trying to calm you down. “Are you okay, baby?”, he asks, pouting. “I can stop.”

“N- no,” you stutter, though the bit of movement has had him slide in deeper and thus, your cunt be stretched further. “It’s okay. Just be slow. I can do it.”

“No, Y/N, you have to want it,” San sighs and you press your face against his hand. “I want it,” you murmur, glancing up at him. “I want you, Sannie.”

He smiles in awe of your droopy eyes and luscious lips reaffirming your love to him, and San inhales deeply. “I’ll move a bit more, okay?”

“Okay.”

Both of you inhale at the same time, but it’s San this time to moan it out. “Oh, god,” he whimpers, “feels so good, Y/N. Feels so fucking good.”

And this is where you close your eyes and let your boyfriend do his thing over you, because San’s sounds are candy to your ears. He’s doing it slowly, and heaven knows he can’t push it just entirely just yet, but the first third that San has inside you is enough to make you grip the sheets.

“Are you alright? Baby, is it too much? Can I do more?”, San whines, and you’re too weak-hearted for his arousal-sake, that you sigh sultrily and say, “Sannie, you know what to do.”

“No, no, baby, please don’t say things like that, I really won’t—“

He groans and pushes himself further in. You have to strain your forehead and pull in your eyebrows to work around the fact that you have never felt your cunt be stuffed in like this, and oh god, you feel so stuffed.

“Baby, please tell me when you want me to stop,” San begs you, concerned about your facial expression, kissing your cheek repeatedly.

“This just feels unfamiliar, that’s all,” you whimper and San pulls out a little bit while you talk. “But you will tell me, right?”, he asks you, and gets a nod in return. You should be seeing black in front of you, given that you’ve closed your eyes, but after San pushes himself in again, there’s a piercing zap that makes you open your eyes wide.

“Sannie, wait—“

He immediately stops and both of you look at each other. San doesn’t move, anxious that anything will make you more anxious, when you grab him by his arms.

And with one glance down, you see it.

Blood.

Not a lot, fortunately so, but still, bleeding from your privates outside your period is terrifying, and it makes all of your heat flee away—

Blood!

There’s not a scream or a gasp leaving your mouth, rather just a short soundless inhale that indicates your surprise, when you close your eyes and cover them with the surface of your hands.

Blood?!

“Oh my god, sugar,” San exclaims silently, you don’t know if this is a first for him as well— and though both of you don’t panic as loudly as you could have, your boyfriend still looks mortified, eyes ripped open, mouth opened by a slit, when you remove your palms from your eyelids. “Did I hurt you? Did it hurt? Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I—“

“No, Sannie, it didn’t hurt— It didn’t—“

Not panicking, but still both stammering and not aware of what to do with your hands.

He pulls out and covers your private with the towel that he used to catch your fluid before, and San immediately claims a serious expression on his face, looking around to find something for you to hold onto. He finds you a pillow, puts it over your stomach, and you cuddle into it, trying to catch a breath.

You didn’t lie. It didn’t hurt, it really didn’t. At least not even half the the amount of blood that is covering the towel, and you don’t think anything else (let it be more preparation or whatever) could have had helped you two in this situation. Is it just a matter of luck? Of your body? Well, maybe you’re out of luck and your body is going lax as well.

San is removing the condom from his dick and fetching his boxer-shorts again to fully call it quits, using approximately 4 seconds before he disappears in your arms again and smothers you with kisses.

“But— but Sannie…”, you whimper, feeling kind of guilty to be leaving him hanging like this after he’s done so much for you, but he silences you with his lips.

“Don’t you dare say sorry, sugar-pie,” San smiles and brushes over your hair, continuing to peck your face, as he hugs you from aside, and his warm skin soothes the goosebumps you got from seeing red on yourself. “As long you’re not hurting.”

“Do you want to take a shower or do you want to sleep?”, San asks you and you shiver a little bit once the adrenaline has worn down and all that provides you comfort is your boyfriend’s vicinity. “I don’t know, Sannie,” you murmur into his breast and a hand rubs your back. You’re still naked, but San covers you up with a blanket. “You don’t have to know, sugar,” San whispers and rests his chin on top of your head. “Just be here with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You nod into his embrace, feeling exhausted, worn out and tired, and you start to breathe heavily into his skin, San rubbing his thumb across your lower back to match the rhythm of your breathing, your heartbeat slowing down.

You’re safe.

You’re home.

You’re not dreaming, you’re with your boyfriend, Choi San, and even though nobody will know what kind of dreams will visit you, what nightmares will make you wake up in the middle of the night, you’re, well, in love.

Comfortable, soft, warm, at ease, serene — happy; this is what love feels like. A dream doesn’t come close to the unworried warmth love provides, to the warmth the real San provides, and while you doze off, you and San whisper affirmations into each other’s presence that you’ll,

“Dream of me, Y/N.”

#choi san x y/n #choi san x reader #choi san smut #choi san scenarios #choi san x you #ateez x reader #ateez smut #if you wanna see an epilogue pls request it because i find boyfie san so endearing #chokkiwa #chokko

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norrisleclercf1 · 7 months

Text

The Devil is a Fallen Angel

Pairing: Mafia!Mick x Reader

Rating: Pg-17

Words: 2.3K

Requested: Yes/No

Warnings: Kidnapped, drugging?, angst, some fluff, heartbreak, we're having fun tonight

Part 1: An Angel and A Devil

Synopsis: Mick didn't think he'd lose you, and he certainly didn't plan of losing you forever

A/N: Happy Halloween! I hope this lives up to ya'lls expectations!

There's a quote you remember from one of your literature classes. It was a brilliant quote. It comes to you as you drive through the mountains of Germany. Be careful who you trust, the Devil was once an angel.

"Hehehe, I knew I liked her for a reason." Mick groans, rolling on his garage floor as his father stands over him. "Da," "You know, never took you to get distracted by a pretty face. Then again, you are my son. Anyways, where'd she go?" Mick rolls onto his back, closing his eyes. Nausea sends him rocking, trying to ground himself as his body spins.

"Hey," Michael claps loudly, blending in with the thunder. "Where'd my pretty daughter-in-law go?" Cracking an eye open, Mick feels that familiar clamp of his throat and scurries to a trash can, heaving his stomach into the can. "This is just sad, Mick. She didn't even give you a full dose, and you're sick like a newborn." Michael shakes his head, looking around the garage.

"Pardon," Mick rolls back, lying on the ground as he sucks in the crisp, chill air. "Me for getting sick. The love of my life tricked me, drugged me, and I had to get dragged down as she took off in the damn car, leaving me here." He rasps, wiping his mouth. Sitting up, he spits, trying to rid the taste in his mouth. "Mick, you should've known she'd retaliate. You got distracted because you were thinking of," "If you finish that sentence, I don't care if you're my father. I'll kill you." Michael closes his mouth, watching the fire burning in his son's eyes.

"Mmm, we better find her. She doesn't know her way around here, and with our enemies and allies, who knows who'll get to her first." Mick stands. He rocks, but Michael steadies him, ensuring he doesn't fall. "She," Sucking in another breath, he rolls his neck, the drug slowly disappearing. "She took my car. It has a tracker in it." Michael nods, grabbing a set of keys and helping his son to the car.

"I never should've lied. If this is my punishment, I'll take it. Just don't hurt her." Michael rolls his eyes, hearing his son's whispers. "Mick, I swear if you're praying. I'm leaving you on the side of the road." Glaring, Mick shuts up as the two blondes follow the tracker. "Here, we're," Mick stopped, seeing that the tracker wasn't moving. "Stop!" Michael slams on the brake. Mick, not waiting, bolts out of the car, rain battering his body, soaking him to the bone. "No."

Rushing down the ditch, he sees the car lying in the mud and water. Broken glass, blood, footprints, and drag marks surround him as he starts to spin around. "Y/N! Y/N!" He roars. Michael slides down the ditch, studying the scene. "Mick, Mick, stop yelling." Grabbing his son by his shoulder. "Goddammit! She's not here, Mick. She's not here." Mick just stares at his father. The words sink in, sending his face grumbling as he screams loudly, Michael holding him tight.

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"You could've made it look less like a kidnapping," Shoving your foot hard, you kick the back of the driver's seat. "Ow," They groan, blue eyes meeting yours. "A thank you would've been nice, you know?" "Oh, oh, a thank you?" You snap back, growing fussy with each passing movement. "A warning would've been nice, Sebastian, but you decided to hide this fact because Mick is your godson!" Kicking his seat hard, Sebastian slams on the brakes, sending you flying into the back of it.

"Listen here," The older German turns around, facing you as the dark backcountry wood road is the only thing around you two. "I only helped you because Michael called and said you needed to leave. I never would've done this to Mick or my family. That boy loves you, Y/n. Like air, and right now, I'm ripping away the only thing he's got." Sebastian spats, furious at you for the first time ever. "And right now, I don't need some prissy, popular, no good, foul mouth, little GIRL yelling at me." Sebastian seethes, the two of you breathing hard, staring at one another.

"Drive the stupid car," You hiss, baring your teeth like an animal. "What do you think I was doing?" He snaps back, turning back around and slamming the car into gear. "You're such a brat," Sebastian whispers, you snarl kicking the back of his seat again.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Mick, baby, you need to eat," Corrina whispers at his door, knocking on it. "Go away," His meek voice broke through. "Corrina, leave the boy alone," Michael whispers, fingers trailing his wife's arm. "He hasn't eaten in almost 2 weeks. He can't keep doing this," She whispers, holding the simple plate of crackers and cheese.

"Corrina, he lost the girl. Let him grieve." Michael hisses, but Corrina refuses to listen. "The only reason he lost that girl is because of you." Shoving the plate into his chest, storming down the hall, and spitting off German. "What does she mean?" "Scheisse," Michael jumps, holding the plate, turning as he glares at the ghost of his boy. "Nothing, she means nothing. You know how your mother is, dramatic." Michael chuckles, the nerves getting to him as Mick glares at him.

"Papa, what did you do?" Mick is a dog with a bone, refusing to let go once he caught it. "Nothing, Mick. Jesus, all I did was tow the car and tell them to call off the search." His son's eyes widen hearing that, stepping out of the room. "Why would you do that?" Michael swallows, stepping back. "Don't question me, and eat your damn crackers and cheese. You're worrying your mother." Shoving the plate into Mick's chest, Michael follows after Corrina, begging her to talk to him.

"Dumbass," Mick whispers, closing the door and returning to his laptop. He gave you a necklace with little angel wings a while ago, but it was unknown to you that it had a tracker. Lucky enough for him, you never took it off when you ran for him. Sitting down, he bites into one of the crackers and gags. Nothing has tasted good for him in the past 2 weeks. Everything was bland with little to no taste; it was almost like everything had lost its flavor or color when you left.

Spitting out the cracker, he wipes his mouth, watching as the screen beeps and zooms in. "There you are," He smiles, leaning in as he laughs, shaking his head. "Right under my nose,"

--------------------------------------------------------

"Class is fine, Mama, and yes, Mick and I did break up." You huff into the phone, tired of the older woman badgering you. She didn't understand why you would break up with your perfect boyfriend. You hated asking Sebastian to bring you back here but needed normalcy. The older German is still at the University teaching his Ecosystems class, and you see him playing with his bees.

Now you know why Mick was always around him and why he only ever called him Sebastian. The older man watched you, ensuring you never told anyone Mick's secret. "Mama, I have to go, okay bye." Hanging up the phone, you groan, rubbing your eyes as you sit at the old table. The table you and Mick first met at, where you two fell in love, whispers of children and marriage. You hated and loved this table.

"I hate that I miss you," Words soft, tracing the delicate bumps of your initials carved into the table. You can still remember when Mick pulled out the little pocket knife and started to mark the pristine table. "I hate that you left me," You smile, hearing Mick's voice clear as day. Even your thoughts were starting to sound just like him. "I had to," "Did you, though?" You turn, seeing Mick standing at the end of the bookcases, sunglasses pushing his hair back.

The locks are longer, wearing baggy pants, a white tank top, and a black button-up thrown open. A chain necklace around his neck and multiple rings adorning his fingers. "Mick," You gasp, scrambling out of the chair, your back hitting the wall, leaving you utterly trapped and at his mercy. "Engel, you ran from me. You're okay." He whispers, moving closer to you. Wrists ache with the memory of the chains that kept you to him.

"Come any closer, and I scream," His eyes narrow at that threat but soften as he shakes his head. "Y/n, we both know that no one is in here. It's almost midnight, and this is the time I'd always come to study. You've been repeating our schedule." He reaches out, flinching away from his touch, which has his entire body run cold.

Not once did he ever think the love of his life would flinch when he goes to touch them, not once. But, here you are, jerking from his touch. "Engel," He whispers, dropping his hand and eyes filling with tears. "Don't, don't do that." You whisper, seeing this boy before you break. "I've hurt you," His words muffled, trying to stop his tears. "Mick, stop. Don't think your crying is going to change anything." You whisper, closing your eyes. The moment you honestly looked at him, you'd cave, and it's the end of you.

"Please, Engel, I'm sorry, forgive me." He whispers, breath warm on your cheek, able to feel the pressure of his body against your own. "Mick, no." You whisper eyes screwed shut. Mick drops his head, bending his knees. He falls to the floor, knees cracking as he hits the floor. "I'll even beg you. Please, Y/n, please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me again, please." Arms wind around your waist, a nose brushing your hip as Mick holds you tight, begging you.

"I'll die if you want me to die. I'll do it." Mick's honey voice is muffled by your stomach as he rubs his nose in your hip, having missed your warmth and smell. "Mick, I," You're at a loss for words. What do you say to the man who killed you, who lied about everything, yet you aren't angry anymore. Your soul is just yearning for him, and you hate that. "Get off me!" You scream so loud, slamming him off you. Mick flies back, landing on the ground with a groan and a gasp of air.

"Engel, please." He groans, reaching out as you wipe the salty tears streaking down your face. "Fuck you, fuck you and your family. Fuck it all, Mick, we're done." You gasp, trying to stop the shakes as you bolt off, leaving everything. "Y/n! NO!" Mick roars, and the sound of thumping feet pounds after you as you move through the empty library, heading for the doors.

Bolting out, you don't look back. Two arms reach around you as you let out a screech, almost animalistic. "Stop, stop, you're safe." Michael's voice fills your head, with you sagging into his chest. "Let me go, please. I can't do this. I love him, Michael, but I can't." You whisper as you see Mick run up to you. "Engel, please just let me explain everything. I can't lose you. It'll kill me." He whispers, caging the front of you between him and his father.

"Mick, stop manipulating the girl," Michael growls, arms tightening around you. "I'm no," Mick stops, staring at your face. "She's coming with us," Mick growls, refusing to lose you this easily. "Mick, no," Michael argues, but Mick shakes his head. "I can't lose you," He whispers, leaning in as he kisses you gently, unable to help yourself to kiss him back. "I love you, always remember that. Okay?" Still drunk off his kiss, you nod numbly, feeling Michael pull you back.

"Come on, we're going home. It's okay. We're doing this to protect you." Michael rubs a comforting hand on your back as you suck in a shaky breath. "Take me home, please." Exhaustion seeping into bones. "Shhh, it's okay." He whispers, placing you in his car as Mick climbs onto his bike behind you. "We're going home," You whisper, hating how your heart craves from the Swiss mountains, watching as Mick covers his perfect halo of hair.

"I'm sorry, I thought having Sebastian get you out would help you and Mick. Instead, I've hurt you both far more." Michael whispers, the car horror movie silent. "I didn't ask that of you. I escaped on my own." Michael smiles, remembering the state he found his son in. "That you did. I was just trying to protect you." "I don't need your fucking protection." You snap like an angry child. Michael says nothing, the same silence filling the car.

"How," Clearing your throat, almost like the words are choking you. "How do you love someone who's lied to you about everything?" The question hangs in the air, Michael chewing your words over. "You don't. You learn to love the pretty lies the boy has given you, and don't question it. If he's lying, it's not because he doesn't love or respect you. He's doing it because he's protecting what little light he's got. Now that you know, he's covered in darkness. Be that light for him; be the nieve little girl he wants you to be again. Don't ask him anything, ask me. Let me be the bad guy." Michael pleads, the love for his son endless.

"Has he killed before?" "Yes," Michael doesn't miss a beat to your question. "Why?" Michael casts a glance your way and sighs. "Last year, a guy followed you home. Mick was watching from the shadows. He killed him without a second thought. I almost killed him for that, but he didn't regret it. The only time he kills is for you." Your stomach twists and turns, hearing that Mick only kills when it comes to you.

"I don't ask him to kill anyone for me." You whisper, the air being sucked out of you. "You don't have to. He'd kill me for you if he had to. There's this old saying about the Devil," "The devil is a fallen angel." You and Michael say at the same time and stare at one another. "Be proud, angel. You've got your own Devil." Michael whispers.

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wileys-russo · 9 months

Text

a date to remember p2 II m.earps x reader

writing this had me giggling and kicking my feet, down so bad for mearps i want her as my fiance rn pls n thanks. this is genuinly one of my fave things i've written so far.

(( read part one here ))

a date to remember p2 II m.earps x reader 5.7K words

"-then we have the cake tastings, we have the finalise the menu, get all the RSVP's in so we can finish the seating charts, narrow down which florist is doing the flowers, look into DJ's, follow up with the photographer for a quote and-" you paused as you glanced to the side, seeing your fiances eyes closed and her head slumped back on the sofa, mouth slightly ajar.

"mary!" you huffed smacking at her shoulder as she suddenly sat upright in shock. "i'm awake!" the blonde exhaled deeply, rubbing at her eyes as your face softened. "sorry love, i know you're tired from training but we have to get this stuff sorted out!" you pressed a tender kiss to her lips in apology, running your hands fondly through her hair.

"we have the mid season break soon and i'll have a couple of weeks with more time freed up to help you get things done, i promise." marys hands squeezed at your hips as you nodded, pecking her lips a few times and turning to look back down at your list, your finances arms snaking around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder.

"christ the list is longer than i thought." the keeper whistled before burying her face in your neck with a slight groan as you nodded. "yeah why did we set the date before the end of the year again?" you sighed tiredly and shook your head. "because we're head over heels for one another and can't wait to be married, obviously." mary teased with a smile as you playfully rolled your eyes.

"baby lets just divide and conquer, go through things one by one and make individual lists of what we're each going to do, as well as what we have to do together." mary suggested as you hummed in agreement, shuffling back into her more and tucking your legs up to your chest, balancing your notebook on your knees.

"i wasn't lying though love, i can't wait to marry you." "feeling is forever mutual baby. just promise me something?" "for you? anything." "no tiktoks at the wedding."

"oh come on, i was actually planning to dance my way down the aisle. here look babe i'll give you a demonstration!" your fiance was quick to her feet as you leaned back into the sofa and watched on in amusement as she readied herself.

"i was thinking I'd start off slow, like a mad swaggy walk-" you put a hand over your mouth as the taller woman goofily walked back and forth across the carpet. "-then as i get near the aisle i'll bust it out into one of these-" you couldn't help but throw your head back in laughter as she began to dance like an absolute idiot, popping her chest in and out and flailing her limbs about.

"-then the grand finale, shakira!" your fiance sung out and you wolf whistled with a clap of approval as she turned around and started shaking her bum in your direction.

you shook your head with a grin as she stepped up onto the coffee table with a dead serious look, pointing to you and making a heart with her fingers before counting herself in and swiveling her hips, exactly like she had at the press conference.

"get down before you break something you dick!" you laughed as she jumped down, swiping your notebook from your hands and placing it on the floor, flopping herself down on top of you. "made you smile though, my favorite smile." mary cooed, poking at your cheeks as you lazily swatted away her hands.

"is it too late to cancel the engagement? i've not signed anything legally binding yet have i?" you teased with a smirk, your fiance rolling her eyes before grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. "far too late, few more months and you're stuck with me forever and ever and ever!" mary laughed evilly as you rolled your eyes at her childish antics.

"shut up and kiss me you muppet."

"love? i'm home! i have the folders from the caterers to look through with you." mary called out, kicking off her trainers and frowning as you didn't respond, calling out your name a few more times.

it was as she poked her head into the kitchen that she finally found you, glancing out the window to see you and her mum sat together in the garden, the sight bringing a soft smile to her face.

"well good afternoon!" you looked up as your fiance walked out the back door with a grin, hair damp from her shower having just finished her final training session for the week before her match against villa on saturday night.

"hi darling." julie smiled, standing to wrap her daughter in a hug as the taller woman lifted her off the ground in a tight embrace causing her mum to laugh.

"hi beautiful." mary smiled down at you as you craned your head back and puckered your lips expectantly, your fiance bending down to kiss you sweetly as her mum sat back down beside you.

"oh would you look at you two." the woman cooed with a happy sigh, sipping on her tea as mary rolled her eyes, hands sitting on your shoulders as your own came to rest atop them, the taller woman gently massaging a particularly tense knot she could feel forming.

"to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit then mother?" mary asked her mum, the woman explaining how the two of you had gone out to lunch and seen a film together today, then having gone to speak with a few florists in between. "without me?!" your fiances face shifted into an offended frown as she gasped.

"yes, mother and daughter in laws only." julie teased as mary huffed and you tugged on her top and tapped at your lips, your fiance rolling her eyes but rewarding you with a smooch none the less. "i'm going to call your mum and take her out to lunch tomorrow then, without you." mary threatened, playfully shoving your head to the side as you grinned.

"you should really call my dad, we both know he loves you more than me anyway." you teased, the statement not entirely untrue as from the moment you'd brought her home even just as your best friend your dad had adored mary.

the man able to talk her ear off about football and cars and have her be actually interested, unlike the rest of his daughters who only entertained the topics for his benefit, he'd taken an instant liking to her and hadn't even let mary finish the question before giving her his blessing to marry you when she'd asked for it.

"oh i could take him to the united mens game tomorrow night! less has some tickets spare since her brothers aren't coming anymore." mary perked up, excusing herself to hurry inside and call your dad as you shook your head, watching her go with a soft amused smile.

you sighed as you wriggled yourself into the sixth dress of the day, the other five all having been met with some sort of picky negative comment or shake of the head from your bridal party who'd accompanied you today, and it was starting to wear on you that maybe you wouldn't find the right dress.

but pushing that thought down with a shake of your head you shimmied the thin silk number upwards, fixing how it sat on your neckline and doing a turn before stepping out of the change room. "i don't think its very...you." your eldest sister alex immediately commented with narrowed eyes, your mum humming in agreement as your best friends, including alessia and ella, all began to tear apart why it wasn't the right one.

with a quick nod you turned around and charged back into the change room, feeling tears of stress well up in your eyes you stripped off the dress as quickly as you could, sitting down on the stool in the corner and burying your face in your hands.

"darling? may i come in?" you heard the soft voice of your mum knock at the door and you took a shaky breath before confirming, the older woman stepping into the change rooms and looking down at you as the tears began to fall.

"oh come here." she sighed and opened her arms as you hugged her tightly, appreciating the comfort for a moment before pulling away and wiping the tears from your eyes with shaky hands, gratefully accepting the tissue offered your way.

"why are you crying silly girl? this is supposed to be a happy day!" she smiled sympathetically as you laughed, wiping at your eyes again with a sigh.

"i am happy but it feels like theres so much left to do and nowhere near enough time to get it done and this is rapidly just becoming something else i have to get done. mary and i are both so run off our feet trying to get organised that we've hardly seen one another, the bills are piling up which is fine we're on budget but its still all just so...so stressful!" you vented, sitting back down on the stool and leaning your head back against the wall, closing your eyes for a second and taking a deep breath.

"then lean on the people you love and let us help you both! your sisters and i can help out, your friends can help out, your dads absolutely useless but he'll be there for a hug whenever you need one. you don't need to do this all by yourself darling." your mum pulled you into another hug as you nodded.

"okay i'm going to have to ask you to leave now because hugging my mum and crying in my underwear is a little humiliating." you mumbled, cheeks flushing red as your mum rolled her eyes with a smile, encouraging you to take your time before stepping out of the change room.

sitting back down and glancing toward the wall of dresses you were yet to try on you sighed, pulling out your phone and clicking dial on your fiances contact, knowing she was on the other side of town doing the exact same thing with her own bridal party, just needing to hear her voice.

"well well well if it isn't the future mrs earps!" you tried not to let your disappointment show as it was leah who instead answered, herself millie and rachel part of mary's bridal party, murmuring a hello in return.

but the english captain could already tell it wasn't her that you needed right now and in a much softer tone requested you wait two seconds while she went and found your fiance.

"hi love, you alright?" your body physically relaxed as marys voice now filled your ears. "i miss you." was all you could respond, unable to see the soft smile which spread across your fiances face at your words. "i miss you too. i feel like i've not seen you in weeks!" the keeper sighed and you hummed in agreement, the two of you chatting for a moment about how your dress appointments were going, mary teasingly refusing to answer if she'd found something or not.

"baby i have to go but how about tonight we just have a date night? no wedding talk, no phone calls, nothing. we order a takeaway and just watch a bunch of those soppy romance films you love, just the two of us." mary offered sincerely and you nodded, forgetting she couldn't see you as she echoed the question and you hurried to confirm, both of you saying your goodbyes before hanging up.

filled with a new sense of motivation your eyes scanned the remaining dresses, taking them off the racks one by one to look them over, holding them up to your body until you got to the last one, and with the feelings that rushed through you, you had a feeling this could be the one.

hurrying to step into it you grinned as you looked over in yourself in the mirror, feeling the most confident you had all day as you carefully made your way out of the change room, making sure not to trip over as for the first time all day you were met with silence.

"oh darling, it's perfect." your mum gushed, tears welling up in her eyes as alex pulled her into a hug, all of your friends quickly hurrying to their feet, touching and poking at you and gushing about how this was the one.

you smiled and finally let yourself relax as ella handed you a glass of champagne, your younger sister molly launching into an excited speech as you rolled your eyes.

one more thing ticked off the list.

"-i'm just saying! if you'd have just shown up to my house with a boom box and a lawnmower and confessed your love to me we could have been already married." you teased your fiance as the end credits for say anything rolled.

"yeah and avoided the awkward as fuck moment that it was instead." mary groaned and hid her face in your chest, cheeks burning red as the memories of her confessions of her love for you all those years ago came rushing back.

"pretty woman, 27 dresses or dirty dancing?" you asked your best friend, holding up the DVD's in your hand as mary groaned, collapsing back into the bed with a dramatic sigh. "none of them?" the girl answered with a raised eyebrow and you scowled, throwing a fuzzy slipper at her head.

"you said if i let you pick what we had for dinner i could choose the film, so choose one maz!" you ordered firmly, holding up the DVD's again as mary sighed in defeat and pointed to 27 dresses, annoyed facade melting as you squealed happily and turned around to load it in.

"turn the frown upside down earps you get the pleasure of my company all weekend this should be cause for celebration, a parade even!" you jumped on top of her as she grunted in surprise, grinning down at your best friend who playfully rolled her eyes.

"oh i've got the parade organised for once you leave, the real cause of celebration!" mary teased as you grabbed a pillow, smacking her in the face and yelping as she flipped your positions, the two of you rolling around on her bed and pinching and tickling and smacking at one another, the play fighting nothing unusual between you.

"okay okay, truce!" mary finally wheezed, the two of you collapsing beside one another as your chests heaved and your laughter filled her bedroom, both trying to catch your breath.

as mary turned her head to the side and looked at you, she felt her stomach jump into her throat. the dimples that formed in the corners of your mouth as you smiled, the tiny moon and star studs in the top corner of your left ear, the way the tip of your tongue poked out a tiny gap in your teeth when you grinned, the way you were at every single one of her matches and always cheering for her the loudest and proudest.

you were perfect and she found her body wracked with guilt that she was thinking about and longing for something more than just being your best friend.

even more so she found herself swooning as you lay beside her in her bed wearing her clothes, again nothing unusual for the two of you but thinking about this very situation happening again if the two of you were something more than just friends.

"hey...can i ask you something?" your smile dropped seeing the unusually serious look cross marys face, the two of you sitting up and facing one another cross legged on the bed. "do you ever maybe, well i know i do but i don't want to make you uncomfortable, so i guess do you-" mary struggled to get her words out as your frown deepened.

"maz, its just me." you assured her with a soft smile, placing your hands on her knees with a gentle squeeze. "thats just the problem, its just you." the older girl smiled sadly and you looked to her with confusion. "i don't understand?"

"do you ever maybe, or would you want to maybe, shit how do i word this?" she finally spoke, the blank look you gave her in return causing her heart rate to accelerate. "would you want to go for dinner and a drink sometime?" the keeper asked quickly, face palming at her own words. "we just had dinner?" you repeated slowly, starting to catch on to what your best friend was trying to ask.

"sorry no that was weird, don't worry about it." mary shook her head and went to stand up and put the movie on but you grabbed at her shirt, pulling her back down. "mary alexandra earps, are you trying to ask me on a date?" you asked quietly, a smile hinting at your lips as the taller girl hesitated before nodding.

"if thats not really weird, i love you more than anything and-" she started, catching her own words as her face lit up bright red. "not i love you like that! i mean i do love you and maybe eventually could love you like that or maybe i already do? but im just trying to-" you rolled your eyes and cut off her ramblings, pressing your lips to hers.

she tensed at first caught off guard by the sudden kiss but soon relaxed into it, her hands coming to rest on your waist before you pulled away.

"mary. i've known you since we were teenagers, maybe even loved you since then. i never wanted to act on anything because i'd rather have you as a best friend than not at all, you're my favorite person, in any way i can have you." you confessed sincerely, cupping her face in her hands as mary practically melted into a puddle at your words.

"but i think we're a little past the awkward first date going for dinner and drinks phase, i know you like the back of my own hand." you grinned, trying to ease her obvious nerves as she seemed to settle, leaning back in to kiss you again.

"oh but you were so sweet and nervous and awkward, i sort of miss that mary. the quiet and shy one who blushed every time i held her hand or kissed her cheek!" you teased, your fiances confidence having grown in leaps and bounds during the time you'd been together.

"now i just have this loud, arrogant, messy woman who hogs the blankets, snores, can't carry a tune to save her life, uses all the hot water when she showers, shoves her sweaty smelly gloves in my face-" you began to list off on your fingers as your fiance sat up properly, glaring down at you and folding her arms over her chest.

"are you done?" "no i actually have some more things i could say like-"

your words were cut short as the keeper rolled her eyes and smashed her mouth against yours, her hand moving to gently grip your neck as her tongue slipped into your mouth, ripping a quiet moan from you as you shifted underneath her.

a needy whine dropped from your lips as she pressed her knee inbetween your legs, smirking as she pulled away momentarily to let you catch your breath, burying her face in your neck as your fiance began to devour you, nipping and biting at the sensitive skin she knew all too well, her tongue tracing a sloppy line from love bite to love bite.

"that little shy awkward mary couldn't make you feel like this though, could she love?"

"last night of freedom and as a y/l/n baby sister!" your older sister alex cheered drunkenly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as the two of you danced like idiots, your eratic moves fueled by a bachelorette party full of tequila shots, champagne and red wine.

the wedding was tomorrow and you could finally let loose knowing the only thing you needed to do was to show up and marry the love of your life, the insane stress of the last few months melting away much like the sweat which dripped down the back of your neck in the tightly packed out club you were in.

you danced the night away with your sisters and best friends, all of whom repeatedly warned you to stop screaming every song you knew at the top of your lungs, teasingly reminding you needed to have a voice to say i do tomorrow.

"another one?" you nodded as alessia kissed your cheek and disappeared to the bar, your sisters having already called it a night and headed back to the hotel, doing their best to convince you to go with them but with no luck it left yourself, ella, alessia and your two childhood best friends to your own devices.

your body tensed as someone suddenly pressed in behind you, hands gripping your hips tightly and warm breath tickling the back of your neck. though before you could throw them off or turn around and promptly punch them in the face a familiar voice sounded in your ear.

"well fancy seeing you here beautiful."

"mary!" you cheered drunkenly, spinning around and practically throwing yourself at your fiance who grinned, catching you and twirling you around before placing you back on your feet. "mary! you didn't tell us she'd be here." leah, millie and rachel appeared behind the girl, tugging her away as you whined and alessia reappeared by your side, slipping a drink into your hand.

"its bad luck to see one another the night before the wedding!" leah reminded sternly at your pouty face, both you and your fiance protesting the statement as millie rolled her eyes and agreed the two of you could have a few songs together before you all needed to leave, reminding of the time.

"oh its your song!" you beamed, grabbing your fiances hand and dragging her away from the small huddle of women as voulez vous blasted through the speakers, the two of you grinding and groping at one another as your friends watched on with small smiles and amused shakes of their heads.

"you know i do feel the need to warn you, i have a fiance." you teased with a slight slur as mary let out a loud laugh, your favourite sound. "s'okay, she doesn't need to know." the taller girl grinned, connecting your lips as your hands roamed one anothers bodies.

"if we go now we can definitely make it to the bathroom before any of them notice we're gone?" mary breathed out needily, pulling away as both of your heads spun, positively infatuated with one another.

"we promised each other no sex until after the wedding!" you laughed, thumbs fondly stroking her jaw as she pouted. "which means we can change our minds?" the blonde asked hopefully and you only laughed harder, shaking your head. "we've gone three whole weeks, we can last one more night. then tomorrow you can do whatever you want to me!" you grinned cheekily, feeling your fiances hand smack harshly at your bum.

"alright love birds thats quite enough! home time." millie clapped and before you knew it both of your bridal parties had intervened, the large group of drunk women all banding together to keep you and mary away from one another as you all walked back to the hotel where everyone was staying.

"tooney come on! just let me give her one goodnight kiss?" you begged, the younger girl having a firm grip on you to stop you running off as millie and rach did the same for mary who was a few feet ahead. "oh go on then." the girl rolled her eyes and let you go, watching as you sprinted after your fiance, jumping on her back as she stumbled and almost fell over.

"goodnight fiance." you sung out as the two of you now stood by the doors of the hotel lobby, your friends tiredly waiting in a huddle across the room, giving the two of you a brief moment of peace. "goodnight fiance." mary echoed back, the two of you giggling and exchanging soft drunken kisses among sweet words.

"can't wait till i can start saying wife." you beamed, running your hands up her sides, practically bouncing on your feet with excitement. "one more sleep and you're offically mrs earps." mary grinned, the two of you having one more kiss goodbye before being hustled off to your individual rooms by your friends.

you blinked tiredly hearing knocks on your hotel room door, pulling your head out of bed with a wince thinking you were hearing things as alex slept soundly beside you, ella passed on the other bed with alessia sprawled beside her, none of them even stirring as the knocks sounded again.

pulling yourself out of bed with a tired sigh you rubbed your eyes and opened the door, met with the cheery face of your fiance whose smile only grew at your disheveled state.

"good morning beautiful, fancy a walk? bit of calm before the storm." mary asked quietly, holding up a coffee clearly intended for you as you nodded, any signs of grumpiness melting away at the prospect of her company.

quickly slipping out of your dress from the night before you tugged on an oversized top and wiggled into a pair of bike shorts, smiling at your fiance who was patiently awaiting in the door frame. "how have none of them even stirred? are they dead?" mary asked in shock at the three girls still passed out in the room as you pushed her out of the room with a quiet laugh, door closing behind you.

gratefully accepting the coffee and thanking your fiance with a kiss the two of you walked hand in hand into the elevator, wrapped up in a bubble of comfortable silence as you exited the hotel, wandering across the road toward the beach where you were to be wed in just a few short hours.

it still being quite early the sun had only just begun to rise, the sky a symphony of pale pinks and oranges as mary sat down on the sand and you settled inbetween her legs, your back leaning against her front as she pressed a tender kiss to the side of your head.

the two of you didn't need to say anything as you sipped at your coffees, just the feeling of your bodies tucked into one another all you needed as you soaked in the sunrise and the peace and quiet of your impending wedding day.

though of course, it eventually had to end.

"there you two are! for fuck sakes we thought you'd got cold feet and done a runner!" alex yelled as she ran across the road, followed closely by a few of yours and marys friends.

"and here comes the storm." mary whispered in your ear as you grinned, the two of you quickly pulled up and tugged away from one another, your respective bridal parties rattling off the list of things which still needed to be done before the ceremony.

"see you at the aisle my love!" you called out to your fiance over your sisters shoulder as she dragged you away. "not if i see you first, i'll be the one in white trying not to cry!" mary winked before being whisked away in the opposite direction.

"now it's my understanding that the brides have prepared their own vows, is this accurate?" your celebrant asked with a smile as you and mary nodded, both reaching around to grab your pieces of paper from your respective maids of honour, the celebrant gesturing for you to start.

"oh god okay i'm going to try to get through this without crying." you joked as your guests laughed and mary smiled, giving you an encouraging nod as you cleared your throat.

"mary alexandra earps you've been a constant in my life for what feels like forever. i remember you as that awkward teenager getting your first professional football contract, right up till now as a gloriously confident champion of europe, but you were always full of nothing but kindness, love and support both as a friend, a life partner and now a wife." you started, refusing to look up knowing if you did you would break.

"the reality is all marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys and its nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together, and i promise that from today forward i will always be by your side for all of it, there to hold you at your lowest and celebrate with you at your highest. i remember seeing you for the first time and feeling in my gut you were someone i needed to know. there you were in the kitchen of the party i was dragged to and thank god i was, you were sitting on the floor with that goofy smile just waiting to shake up my life and to light up my whole world." you laughed at the memories of how the two of you had met before continuing.

"mary. i am truly blessed to be a part of your life which as of today becomes our life together. i promise as your wife to encourage your dreams and be by your side to help you achieve them in anyway i can. i promise to celebrate the joy of spending every day with you. i promise to stand by your side through life's most joyous moments and its challenging ones like we always have, together. i promise to be kind, patient, and forgiving. i promise to always honor your passions and your ambitions, and to love you forever." you finished as you slid the ring onto marys finger and your fiance let out a sob and millie rubbed her back with a smile, the taller girl clearing her throat and making a joke about how she didn't know how she was going to follow that.

"y/f/n. you came into my life at exactly the right time; when I wasn't ready and yet when i needed your love the most. we've experienced great triumphs and literal disasters together, and these trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end i feel more strongly connected with you to get up and try again anytime i feel close to failure. i am forever grateful for all the nights you spent cradling me as i cried, feeling nothing but the hopelessness of a career which was over before it had even begun, but each time you would assure me i was wrong and instill in me the confidence i lacked in myself. i love you dearly for all that you are. i am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor. i may not want to admit it, but i even love your god awful singing voice and poorly timed dad jokes!" mary paused to look at you with a grin as you hid a sob in your hand, feeling your younger sister comfortingly squeeze your shoulder.

"you have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that i am, and you help me to be the finest version of me that I can be. as your wife I promise to you with the same determination and confidence you've given me that i vow to support you through everything and anything that life throws at us both good and bad. i pledge to commit myself to our marriage and to you and to the good I know will grow from it. i promise this all to you until I am no more, i love you with every fibre of my being, now and forever." mary finished, eyes welled up with tears as she slid your ring onto your finger and the celebrant asked the two of you to join hands.

"mary, do you take y/n to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?" "i do."

"y/n, do you take mary to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?" "i do."

"then by the power vested in me, i now pronounce you wife and wife, you may each kiss the bride!" the crowd around you exploded into cheers as both you and mary eagerly leant in, connecting your lips as your hands cupped her face and hers gripped the back of your neck, both pulling away and pressing your foreheads together.

"my wife." you breathed out in shock, biting down on your lip to contain the shit eating grin which threatened to spread across your face. "my wife." mary echoed back, not even trying to hide her excited grin which spread ear to ear.

"i love you, mrs earps." "not as much as i love you, mrs earps."

#woso #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #engwnt #woso blurbs #fic recs #mary earps #mary earps x reader

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ikigaisvt · 10 months

Text

Everything Everywhere All at Once

You have always loved Vernon and that much he knows. What he doesn't know is that you love him more than a best friend probably should. He also doesn't know you're virgin; but that has no correlation, right? Or does it?

What you don't know about him? Well, he's in love with you too. And surprise, surprise, he's a virgin too.

pairing: reader x vernon, she/her!reader x vernon, virgin!reader x virgin!vernon, inexperienced!reader x somewhat experienced!vernon, bottom!reader x top!vernon (but no real power dynamics) words: 3.9k content: smut, fluff, slight angst warnings: dirty talk (subtle), begging, praising, fingering, first time for mcs, protected sex, kinda love making, very sappy tbh, vernon is vry horny, they're desperate for each other, petnames (for reader: babe, baby, sweetheart, my girl, girlfriend / for vernon: babe, baby, boyfriend), vernon is called pretty, slight angst ig?, reader wears lingerie note: MINORS/AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI. i first thought of this idea after playing a silly kpop dating game with my bff and i got vernon as my best friend and first time,,, i thought it fit him all too well so i decided to write it! you absolutely don't have to know the movie EEAAO to read this, it's absolutely not related to its story. the last paragraph of the fic is inspired by a quote from EEAAO which i'll put here "of all the places i could be, i just want to be here with you." (same quote as on the banner). also, once again, shout out to @homerunhansol for hyping me up while i was in the process of writing this and for being so excited! this one is for you, my fav dolly 🫶

You love Vernon. You really do. You don't think you could have lived your life without him and thanks god you didn't had to. You often talk about being soulmates with each other; how the feeling of being together transcends anything else. Any love you have ever felt feels so little compared to what he makes you feel.

And people must be thinking how lucky you are to have such a wonderful partner.

But here's the problem: Vernon is your best friend and you have been in love with him for as long as you can remember.

As Vernon looks at his best friend sat next to him, on his couch, in his dorm, he wonders how a situation can feel so blessed and yet so cursed. He truly thinks being your best friend is the greatest gift in his life; you are an amazing friend, you never fail to support him and let him know how precious he is to this world. You understand every single one of his obsessions, from movies to cats to tacos. Despite all of this, you will forever – at least he thinks so – a source of hurt for him. Vernon has been in love with you for as long as he can remember and that's a lot of time. You have always been part of his life, just like his love for you has always been here, rooted deep in his heart, never swaying or moving aside for anyone else.

He knows it's all because of this love that he's still a virgin. He also knows that he probably should have gotten over it by now and lose his virginity with the numerous girls who have tried to get with him. He truly knows all this and yet he cannot get over this deep-rooted emotion he feels when you look at him, just as you are doing right now.

"Vernon? Earth to Vernon?" you say, waving your hand in front of his eyes, "Are you even listening to me?" you ask him, chuckling.

"Sorry, was up in my head for a sec." he answers, turning to give you his full attention.

"Let me guess, were you thinking about Everything Everywhere All at Once, again?" you tease him in a smile.

"No, I wasn't," he says, frowning a little, "It wasn't anything important." It was important.

"Okay, if you say so!" you tell him cheerfully, "Anyway, as I was saying, I was on a date with this boy and you know what was one of his first question?" you ask him, waiting for his answer which comes in a shake of his head, "If I was a virgin!" you say, dropping your hand in a dramatic way, "When I told him I was still one, he bolted out of that café-"

"Wait, you're still a virgin?" Vernon asks, completely surprised at the news. If there was someone who could pulled anyone, it'd be you.

"Oh, you missed that part too?" you tell him, still annoyed at the memory of said boy, Vernon nodding again, too shocked to let any words out, "yeah I confessed to- no I mean, I broke the news like 5 minutes ago. What you were thinking about must have been really important. Anyway, now I’m thinking I really need to get rid of my virginity card because it's blocking every relationship for me."

"But how can you get rid of it? It's not like you're going to jump on the first boy who's slightly interested in you?" he says, in disbelief at your words, "Right?"

"No! Of course not," you say trying to calm down your nerves at what you're about to say, "That's why I was thinking about this- What if you become my first time?" you finally throw as Vernon takes a sip of his coke, making him choke on it.

"What?" he answers in a strangled voice.

"Listen to me before you say no, please!" you beg, your hands joined in front of you, "I just- I trust you and I love you and you are definitely experienced," I am definitely not, Vernon thinks to himself, his cock already straining in his pants at the thought of even touching you, "And I can't think of anyone else better than you for this." you conclude, looking desperately in his eyes for any sign that you did not scared him away.

"This is a crazy idea, Y/N." his voice still hoarse from the coke incident.

"It really isn't," you fight back, "We don't have to talk about it to anyone. It will just be between me and you."

"Do you really trust me with this?" he asks you, pondering about the idea. if I say yes, when I say yes, it will be for me only, Vernon says to himself. So selfish. "If we do this, I have one request." Vernon tells you, already knowing his answer.

"Anything you want." you tell him, already eager to please. Cute.

"You have to watch Everything Everywhere All at Once with me." he asks, making this easier on purpose – if he’s true to himself he’s doing it mostly for him rather than you.

It's a few days later, when you scrubbed every inch of your skin that you and Vernon meet up – in your apartment (as it is roommate free) so you can, quite literally, fuck around. If someone told you months ago, you'd be doing this with your best friend, you wouldn’t believe them.

When Vernon walks in your apartment, you can see the anxiety on his face and in the way he holds himself. You’re starting to think you have broken your best friend with your proposition.

"You good?" you ask him, getting a hold of his hand, making him jump out.

"Y-Yeah! I'm fine," he tells you, his cock hardening already hardening against his pants for you.

"Come on," you say as you give him your hand, leading him to the bedroom.

When you both go into your room, Vernon notices how it is cleaner than any other day, no clothes lying on the floor (even though that will not last) while your bed is done nicely. You sit down at the foot of the bed, Vernon still standing in front of you.

"How- How do we process?" Vernon asks you, his knees shaking slightly.

"We don't have to do this, you know?" you say softly, "Maybe it was a bad idea after all." you mumble.

"No, no, no," he tells you hastily, falling on his knees to get to eyes level with you, "It's fine. I want to do this." he says, holding your hands tightly. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I want to do this too." you say, looking up at him with doe eyes.

"That's good to know," he chuckles slightly, stroking your hand with his thumb, "Can I kiss you?"

"Hm, you can." The nerves starting to get to you too, before easing up when Vernon gets a hold of your hand.

He leans in slowly at first, so you can back out at any moment but when he feels your hand squeeze his in a you can kiss me, he slams his lips to yours. He feels your hands move to his shirt, grabbing it tightly. After a few seconds of a sweet kiss, you part, feeling the emotion of finally sharing a kiss settle down in the pit of your stomach. You hide your face in his neck, whining softly.

"What is it?" he whispers, rubbing your back over your shirt.

"Nothing, 'm fine." you mumble, raising your head slightly, kissing at his jaw, making him shudder. You make your way back to his mouth, leaving a trail of wet kisses along the way. Vernon hisses at each one, feeling sensitive already, his cock getting harder every time your lips touch his skin.

"Can I kiss you again?" you whisper against his lips.

"Of course," he says as he gets up, "Come on, lay down for me."

"Y-Yeah, okay."

"Good." he says as he gets onto the bed, holding himself up above you.

"Come here," you mumble softly, raising your arms to touch him, "please."

Vernon lowers himself, your nose touching, as you close the space between your lips, opening your mouth slightly. You moan quietly when he starts to kiss you harder as if he wanted to do this his whole life. If only you knew.

As the kiss gets even more heated, you start to play with the hem of his shirt, wanting him to get it off so you can feel him completely.

"Want me to get this off?" he asks you, trying to keep it together for your sake. After all, you think he has experience.

"Yeah," you breath out, "I can take mine off too." you whisper softly.

"it's okay, you don't have to," he utters, sitting up on his heels, "Anything you're comfortable with."

"I want to." you tell him, looking up with shiny eyes.

"Alright, baby." he answers before pulling up his shirt, revealing his toned torso, blushed a light pink.

"You look so pretty-" you sigh out, laying your hand on his stomach, feeling his happy trail under your palm.

"T-Thank you." he mumbles, reaching out for your shirt in a sign that he wants to see you too. Your shirt gets pulled off in a few seconds, revealing a pretty baby pink bra, made mostly of lace.

"Fuck- You look so good," he moans out, his pants getting tighter at every passing second, “Is this for me?" he asks in a low voice, reaching out for your chest, almost hissing – as you moan – at the sensation of the lace under his fingers, as if it burns him.

"Hm, yeah," you admit in a small voice, "Wanted to be pretty for you- It's a matching set, too." you moan out at the way he plays with your covered tits. He must have done this to so many girls, you think to yourself, and you feel the tears welling up in your eyes but you push it down. If you can have him at least once, you will take it. No matter how much it hurts.

"You're going to kill me," he whines, the desperation making the fire in the pit of his stomach grow bigger and bigger, "Can I see?"

"Yeah." you nod, feeling the shyness gather up in a blush all the way down your neck. As soon as the words are out of your mouth, he works at the buttons on your pants, chuckling slightly at the way his hands are shaking from nervousness. Once your pants slide down, Vernon gasps at the way your baby pink panties hug your pussy so well.

"It looks gorgeous- No, I mean- You look gorgeous." he sighs out, the stress making him mumble rapidly.

"Thank you," you exhale, clutching onto his hand tightly, "Why are you so nervous? You already did this. I’m sure you know what to do."

"Well- I know what I’m doing b-but only up until this point." he mumbles under his breath, finally confessing to being a virgin too.

"What do you mean?" you ask, not quite understanding the situation.

"I mean- I already did all this and some more. I already used my fingers on someone but-" he chokes out, the words not quite wanting to form in his throat, "I’m a virgin too."

"Oh." you say softly, shocked that your best friend – whom you are deeply in love with and who's extremely hot, is a virgin too. He softly lets go of his hold on your hand, understanding that you might want to back out of your arrangement. After all, this is not what you were expecting.

"I’d understand if you don't want to keep going." he utters.

"Hey," you interject gently, holding his hand once again, "Can I know why?"

He sighs out; "Maybe one day I will tell you." In a very very very long time.

"Okay, that's fine," you smile, "It doesn't matter anyway."

"No? It doesn't?" he asks, surprised.

"No, it doesn’t. I want you," you reply, looking up at him, a pleading look across your face, "And I’m so wet. You can't just leave me like this."

"Fuck- Okay," he murmurs, knowing you want him and not his experience making this whole situation way different, "What can I do? I don't want to do something you don't want."

"Will you touch me? Please?" you ask, your hands softly touching his back, goosebumps appearing on his skin.

"Can you open your legs for me, baby?" he asks, his hands pushing your legs open gently. You fall open at his might, Vernon seeing your pretty panty with a wet patch already showing.

"Shit baby- You're so fucking wet for me already."

"i told you so," you whine as your hips buck at him, "Will you touch me n-" you choke out, not even being able to finish your phrase that his fingers meet over your panties, rubbing your clit in a circle motion. Your moans fill the room pretty soon and its only music to Vernon’s ears.

"You sound so good for me- you're driving me crazy." he tells you, his cock pressing against the harshness of his pants' seam making him groan out. He knows he already ruined his briefs from how much pre-cum is oozing from his cock.

"Shit- Vernon," you say, choking out on your moans, "Just get rid of my panties, please."

"Y-Yeah, of course, sure," he mumbles, panicking at the thought of seeing your pussy in full light. He tugs at your panties, your hips raising to help him get it off, "You look so pretty," he says, the second it's off, already teasing your hole with one finger, "Everywhere. You look so pretty, everywhere." he rectifies, blushing deeply. "I’ll start slow, okay? Tell me if it hurts or you want me to stop."

"Don't worry," you say as you grasp at his other hand, intertwining your fingers together, "I will." you whisper, bringing your intertwined hands to your lips, kissing his knuckles.

He slowly thrust his index, feeling your warmth hugging him tight, making him wonder how the fuck are you even gonna take his cock.

“You good, babe?” he tells you, breathless, brushing your hair out of your face messily.

“Yeah- feels so good.” you say, in a high pitch, already choking on pleasure. “You can move. I- can take it.” you assure him, closing your eyes, letting your body fall into the slow rhythm he settled for.

Vernon works you open slowly, your hips bucking up slightly at the sensation after he adds a second finger.

“You’re so tight, sweetheart,” he says, your walls clamping around his fingers, “How are you even going to take me?” he mumbles under his breath as he never stops his movements, bringing you so close to the edge.

“I’m so close, please-” You beg, wanting to fall off the edge already. Your hand grips his even harder, wanting to feel him all at once.

“You can come whenever, okay? Just let me know,” he replies, adding pressure to your clit with his thumb, “I might need to prepare my heart to see my pretty girl cum.”

“Stop being so silly,” you say, short of breath, “you might kill the mood.”

“I’m not silly,” he says out loud but as you fall of the edge he adds, “I’m just in love with you.” quietly, thinking you will not hear it with the fog shortening all of your sensations but your sense of touch. You feel Vernon everywhere; in the depth of your brain, thoughts of him dazing everything for you and also in the beating of your heart, how it slows down when his breath gets caught in his throat and how it speeds up when he utters a word, especially when he confesses of being in love with you. Your pleasure keeps going up and up, thinking of how he’s in love with you as much as you’re in love with him, until it starts to goes down and you realize he doesn’t know you heard him and that you love him too.

“Me too.” you whisper, once you catch your breath, as if loving him is still a shameful secret that should never be brought into daylight.

“This is not the kind of things people say after their first orgasm.” he utters as he rubs at your hips, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m in love with you too.” you clarify, bringing your hand up to the hair falling into his eyes as shock can be read on his face.

“Y-you heard me?” he answers quietly, his world slightly crumbling around him as his brain didn’t register your words just yet.

“Yeah, I did.” you chuckle slightly as your rub at his hand, waiting for realization to hit him. Realization that you love him too.

“Shit- this is so ba-” he starts, before cutting himself off, “did you just say you’re in love with me too?”

“Yeah, I did.” You repeat, amusement showing on your face.

“Oh. Oh.” He utters, happiness making its way on his face as quickly as pink tint his cheeks, “Do you, really? You’re not just saying this, right? It’s not an in-the-moment thing? You really do, right?” he babbles fast, nervousness still present within his heart – and in his voice.

“Vernon, baby,” you say, grabbing his face in your two hands, stroking his cheeks, “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I got to learn about love. This is the cheesiest thing I can probably say but it’s the truth. You’re who taught me love, who made me realize I’d never settle for someone who loves me less than you do. Trust me when I say I love you; I do, in every way. As a best friend and as a girl who thought she was in an unrequited love all of her life.” you confess, hoping it can ease his nerves – mostly so he can fuck you. You want him even more, now.

“Do you know you just made this whole thing way hotter, now?” He mumbles, redness still covering his cheeks – and even his torso.

“By confessing my undying love for you?” you giggle, your hands resting on his shoulders, playing with his hair at back of his neck, “I’m glad then, baby.”

“Do you want to keep doing this?” he asks, leaning down to kiss at your neck, leaving a trail of kisses from one side to the other as your hands wrap around his shoulder, whining at the way he’s so eager to please you.

“Baby- yeah, please,” you plead, “I want you.”

Vernon groans slightly at your desperation, thinking that maybe all along you wanted to have him and not just to have someone take your virgin card. Vernon keeps leaving kisses along your neckline, your collarbones, your jaw, slowly working you two up again; you, pleased by the sensation of his warm mouth marking your body forever and him, thrilled to please you as he hears your sweet whimpers begging him to fuck you. He detaches himself from you, despite your whines making him want to grab you in his arms and never let you go, to take a condom from his jean’s back pocket. He climbs on the bed again, sitting on his heels as he puts the condom on, while you watch him resting on your elbows.

“Are you ready?” Vernon asks as he finds his place over you again, opening your legs slightly with his hand while you lay down again.

“Hm, I am,” you whisper, brushing his hair back, “Are you?”

“Y-yeah,” he says, offering his hand to you in a please hold me, “take a deep breath for me, okay? I read it can sting but we will go slow, okay?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “I trust you.” you add before he pushes his tip inside. He keeps going so he fully settles in you, your pussy clenching around him as your hand squeezes his.

“You’re okay?” he asks, nuzzling his nose against your cheek before leaving a full of love kiss against it.

“Hm, j-just give me a minute.” you utter out, leaning into his touch against your cheek.

“You feel so good around me, my girl.” he whispers as he moans out loud at the way you clench around him at his words.

“Y-you can move.” you tell him, feeling your slight pain subside, only for pleasure to replace it.

As soon as he settles a gentle rhythm, you can feel his pleasure building up as he moans out louder at every passing second, your whines mixing with his, your pleasure sitting in the pit of your stomach.

“Babe- fuck, I’m not gonna last long,” he whines, loving the way you tighten around him, “You feel so good- fuck, you’re so good for me.” he mumbles incoherently, pleasure taking over his every cells.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you whimper, “you can cum, cum for me, cum for me, baby,” you tell him, holding him as he plops against your chest, his hip giving one last push as he comes, burbling against your shoulder – a mix of moans, I love you’s and thank you’s.

You rub his back for a few minutes, waiting for him to come down his high, feeling his breath hit your neck every time he exhales. His heart, which you feel strumming against your chest, slowly calm down before he pulls out of you and gets up to get rid of the condom. He’s quickly back on the bed, holding himself over you, his face still harboring a pretty hue of red, drops of sweat still showing at his hairline.

“You look so pretty,” you whisper, looking up at him with stars in your eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he whispers, a deeper shade of red creeping on his cheeks, “you didn’t come.” He mumbles under his breath, a slight pout making its way on his lips.

“It’s okay,” you mumble, slowly pushing him back so you can straddle him, “we have a whole life now, don’t we?” you laugh, kissing his cheek before getting up, “Come on! We need to shower.”

It’s only after a shared shower and countless kisses that you find yourself under the sheet again your head resting against his naked chest. You gently play with his fingers as it rests over the sheet, his other hand lightly rubbing at your bare back, giving you goosebumps all over.

“What now?” he says quietly, as if he expects you to let him slip through your fingers.

“Now, you can call me your girlfriend,” you chuckle slightly, knowing he doesn’t how to go about the new relationship, “and I’ll call you my boyfriend.” Vernon giggles at your corniness, loving how you can ease up his nerves so quickly.

“Okay, girlfriend. What do you want to do for our first date?” he asks after leaving a kiss on the top of your head.

You think for a few seconds, still playing with his fingers as he rests his chin on your head, before you sit up quickly, turning around to face him.

“I know, I know!” you say loudly, almost jumping up and down from excitement.

“Okay, babe,” he says, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, “care to share a thought?”

“Let’s have watch Everything Everywhere All at Once as a first date!” you tell him, proud of your idea.

“Oh, didn’t I choose my girl well?” he says before grabbing your arm, making you fall down in his embrace again.

No matter what the future holds for you and Vernon, you both know that despite all the places you could be, you both just you want to be with each other. In every world. In every timeline. And in every universe.

thank you SO much for reading! remember that likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated so don't hesitate if you liked it 🫶

#seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen one shot #seventeen fics #seventeen reactions #svt smut #svt x reader #vernon smut #vernon x reader #vernon scenarios #vernon imagines #vernon one shot #vernon fics #sammy's works

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windybreeze12 · 19 days

Text

DBD Quotes that are my Roman Empire (and my reactions to them)

No version of this where I don't come get you - Charles S1 E7 (SIR???? IM SORRY??? If someone said that to me, i'd faint. Edwin is a strong one) .

Do you think it must be torture? Being the way we are? - Simon S1 E7 (I swear you could audibly hear my heart break when he said that) .

Teethface, what the fuck? - Esther S1 E6 (I love her. She's an awful person and is literally irredeemable but dammit she does her shit with style and sass and i love her) .

He did not feel the same way. But I think we are better friends because of it - Edwin S1 E8 (THEM. JUST THEM. I CANT WITH THEM.) .

You, Charles Rowland, are the best person I know - Edwin S1 E5 (It's like they want me to go throw myself off a cliff their friendship is everything to me) .

And we've got literally forever to figure out what the rest means - Charles S1 E7 (Charles is raising the bar too high i fear. the standards are through the roof) .

When you punish yourself, everywhere becomes hell - Edwin S1 E7 (*starts sobbing in the corner*) .

Imagine thinking there was only one way to do any one thing. How difficult would life be? - Kashi S1 E6 (I swear Kashi walked into this show to spit straight facts and then was never seen again. Icon.) .

We didn’t matter, he and I - Edwin S1 E1 (No because the way I swore to myself that I would protect these boys with my life the minute he said this) .

I will always hit a demon with a cricket bat for you - Charles S1 E6 (Fellas, never settle for anything less than Charles Rowland) .

I wasn't talking about you - Edwin S1 E5 (I'm not even kidding I paused the show, got up and had to take a minute because OOF Monty darling) .

As more than a friend, I’m afraid. Charles, I'm in love with you - Edwin S1 E7 (No joke this is one of the best scenes in a show I have ever watched. The acting, the dialogue, the pacing, the emotion??? UGH!!! Perfection) .

I certainly hope not, that story ends tragically - Edwin S1 E7 (There are already a million and one posts about the implications of Charles referencing Orpheus' story so go check those out but holy hell the way it made my heart twist) .

I could- we could lose Charles - Edwin S1 E3 (This was such a tiny detail but GOD I replayed it ten times before moving on) .

Honestly I just find her so charming - Edwin S1 E2 (I knew from this moment that Edwin and Niko were going to be a pair to watch. And boy was I right) .

That was my third life you bitch—i only get nine; would you fuck off - The Cat King S1 E8 (now THIS is how you creatively use a cat's nine lives in media I love it I freaking love it) .

You sacrificed me to a demon who traded me to another demon who traded me to a thing that is worse than a demon and this is your punishment! An eternity of papercuts! - Edwin S1 E7 (Honey I have an eternity of questions cause what the FUCK is this human trafficking system down in hell??? but also go off king??? 😭)

I'll update this whenever I remember anymore. Tell me more quotes in reblogs/replies i'll add them into this!

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #but GOD i love them #they are my roman empire fr #save us dbd #but we must save dbd first #SO GO WATCH #TELL YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDPARENTS AND FISH TO WATCH THIS SHOW #GOGOGO

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prettyboypistol · 3 months

Note

merc Valentine headcanons if you're up for it?

TF2 VALENTINES HEADCANONS!

no art for this post because I've posted 3 times todayyyy

Scout

ridiculously corny and a tryhard- you're getting the whole shebang with him! Flowers, dinner(?), a teddy bear!

gets really frustrated/anxious when things don't go exactly as planned

you thought his planned pick up lines were cheesy? just wait til you put him on the spot. You could probably quote them all from specific books of pick up lines.

Soldier

He'd make an honest effort to try and romance you- but nothing would really turn out as you would expect traditionally. With your luck, the date will be fighting a pack of bears for more of his honey stash!

In the end though, you can tell through Jane's actions that he loved you with all his heart. Even if the romance was a bust, he's still going to be your ride or die forever!

The day would end with you two covered in various ratios of blood and honey staring at the setting sun. So I guess that's a win?

Pyro

Doesn't really have a concept of Valentine's Day, but once explained to them, they are so on board with pampering you the entire day!

Of course, the way to make their day is to just relax by a bonfire and snuggle up next to a radio.

They give you one of your shirts back as a gift- only to see that they embroidered little rings of fire around the cuffs! (who let them touch needles????)

Engineer

definitely a lot more relaxed about valentines than most of the other more "passionate" mercs, but he's still earnestly sweet nonetheless.

His gift to you is a little music box he made and a rose he welded together out of sheet metal.

Dell probably had your gifts done ahead of time then subsequently forgot what day it was (you had to remind him of the dinner date that you two planned earlier that week)

Heavy

Mikhail lust loves kissing and loving on you, he will play coy about valentine's day until the evening, where he spoils you senseless.

Dinner and drinks get shared over a movie and cuddles. Nothing feels better than your big teddybear of a boyfriend and the smell of mulled wine as you laugh at some stupid movie you two are barely paying attention to.

Once you fall asleep in his arms he murmurs poetry to you in Russian, all of them written just for you.

Demoman

He... well, honestly, he kinda blows it.

He remembered the special day, but he's really just lackluster. Valentine's day is just another day to him and he thinks he doesn't need a specific day. When he realizes that you are hurt, he overhauls it in the next few days. He shows off the multimillions that he actually does make and pampers you rotten.

Apologies and kisses and wonderful dinners aside, Tavish holds you close and murmurs just about how much he loves you.

Medic

He trained his doves to do little tricks just for youuuuu awww

Remember that shitty ex you had? Yeah, that's their heart. Mhm. Yep. Go ahead. Stab it. :) (Gift giving, act of service, quality time)

Puts a record on and dances you around the medical room with little kisses and flirtatious lines of how cute you look when you're flustered and trying not to step on his feet.

Spy

Romance KING! The fright of commitment is still there and paralyzing at times, but he powered through it for you! After all, you see him at his worst every day and to see him, he is slightly more comfortable to be honest with you.

Roses and a bottle of wine are in your room, along with a card signed by "Your handsome rogue"

You two go to dinner and then to his smoking room to really relax, those parfaits were perfectly handmade just for you two.

Sniper

He invites you out to camp with you and hunt, but he really liked showing off his survival skills in front of you. You ever had gator?

Mick loves cooking in front of you and really putting on a show. It feels like the one time he can really accept praise is when you look in awe.

Everything is done for you whenever you try to do something. Making coffee? "Nah love, I'll get it." Your back hurt? "Lay down, chickadee, I'll give you a massage."

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kinardscoffee · 29 days

Note

Do you think Tommy is here to stay for a while? How do you think is going to evolve his relationship with Buck? Will we get another kiss next episode?

I would love for him to stay forever!! Love him!!

Hey, Anon! Thanks for stopping by! I love talking about anything related to bucktommy, so you've basically made my day with your ask!

This turned into a long ass post, so I'm putting the rest under the cut.

Yes, I really do think Tommy is here to stay for a while because, honestly, he's the perfect LI to become Buck's endgame.

And I know that that thought is the biggest issue with certain stans right now, but like, he can easily have little storylines weaved throughout the series with the main and guest stars. And, if you actually read the interviews that the actors and Tim are doing, it's clear that's the goal. In fact, I was actually going to make a post for that idea, but I'll just add it here:

Hen, Chim, Bobby

Tommy clearly has a connection to Hen, Chim, and Bobby from his days at the 118. We've seen it in S2, so it's a canon fact. Chim saved his life, so that's a strong fucking bond right there. Not to mention they clearly enjoy quoting movies and probably discussing the plot of movies together. (Thank you, Bobby begins for the bar scene) Tommy was there when Kevin died, too, so he understands the loss that Chim has experienced through the job. And let's not forget that he had the opportunity to watch Chim become an amazing paramedic.

When it comes to Hen, he helped get rid of Captian Gerrard when Hen was being put through hell. (And yes, I do believe he said something to the higher ups. He is a military guy, and following the chain of command is very important to them, so I'm not surprised he never voiced his opinions outloud. Add that with the idea that he was very deep in the closet, he was probably terrified of that man.) And he knows that when it comes to Hen, she will never give up to do what's right and I like to think Tommy took a page from her book and applied that to his life on his journey to accept himself.

Then Bobby. Probably the first man in a leadership position that treated him with kindness and respect. When Bobby comes to the 118, there's some resistance, mostly from Sal, but even through all that, Tommy sees that Bobby is fair (transferring Sal to another station instead of fully firing him) and welcoming (by incorporating family dinners).

Athena

I was struggling with how he'd be connected to Athena, but then I remembered: trivia night!

Athena and Bobby used to have game night with Michael and David. Can you IMAGINE Bobby and Athena inviting Buck and Tommy over for dinner and game night??? I can. And I am so here for it!

Teams would absolutely be: Bobby and Buck. Athena and Tommy.

And let's face it. Athena sees Buck as Bobby's un-adopted son, so if Tommy makes Buck happy, Athena is good.

Karen

This one is interesting and maybe a tiny bit of a stretch, but I really believe that Tommy and Karen could connect through their interest for aviation/aerospace. She's a rocket scientist for crying out loud. He'd be like a little kid at the place where she works.

I also like to think that maybe, due to his childhood and being constantly between homes, he can help discuss the trauma that Mara might feel.

Maddie

I mean, the most important thing to her is that Tommy obviously makes her little brother happy and giddy. She wants to meet him, which is something I can't recall Buck or Maddie ever saying before about one of Buck's LI. Maybe Abby, but Buck was living in her apartment soooo... yeah.

I know Lou has revealed the backstory he has set up in his mind for Tommy and after saying his father was an alcoholic, I can't stop thinking that maybe little Tommy unfortunately experienced abuse from his father or witnessed it happening to his mom. Tommy, having a childhood connected to domestic violence, while not in the exact same way that Maddie experienced it, gives them something in common on a deeper level. An understanding of how important it is to accept love and open yourself up to the possibility.

Eddie

Eddie's friendship with Tommy is actually so interesting to me too because I have this crazy "invisible string" theory that includes him.(Platonically) But, moving on...

Clearly, they share a love of the same things. Muay Thai, watching fights, cars, Buck, basketball, the military.

For me, the military is their real connection because of Eddie's breakdown. No one else in Eddie's life can really understand what he's gone through and how it feels to maybe be the only one of your unit to survive. I'm pretty sure Tommy has already gone through therapy, and since Eddie had no one to reach out to with shared trauma like Frank suggested, he found that second chance in Tommy.

Buck

I mean... they connected lips and soon hearts. 🥺 Sooo....

Next question...

I really hope their relationship evolves in the cutest, sweetest, sometimes naughty, way!

I want to see nervousness. I want to see them learning things about each other. I want them to cuddle and laugh and go on double dates.

I want them to worry about the other one during a dangerous call or rush to each other at a moments notice.

I want to see them fall so in love with each other that I can sue ABC for giving me cavities from all the sweetness.

Having said that... I also want to see disagreements. Arguments and vulnerability and then the process of apologizing and making up.

So, basically, I want them to evolve into a healthy, stable, loving relationship.

And hell yeah! There will be a kiss on Thursday. I'd like to believe we'll see more than one just because of Oliver's interview, but for sure, we're getting one initiated by Buck and honestly I cannot fucking wait!!!!

I want him to stay forever, too. You're not alone 🩵

#911 spoilers #911 abc #911 fandom #evan buckley #bucktommy #tommy kinard #911 speculation #tevan #kinley #buck x tommy #tommy x buck #anon 🩵

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writingpromptneeds · 3 months

Text

quotes from pinterest. all prompts were found on pinterest under the search 'quotes'.

'No one expects an angel to set the world on fire.' 'And like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again.' 'Everybody has a chapter they don't read out loud.' 'You deserve to be loved and chosen - not almost loved, or almost chosen.' 'It's hard to forget your past when it's written all over your body.' 'I like it when you smile. But I love it when I'm the reason.' 'I wonder what I look like in your eyes.' 'Missing you comes in waves. Tonight, I'm drowning.' 'You didn't go through all of that for nothing.' 'I don't want anything from you. Just everything with you.' 'Treat me like a joke, and I'll leave you like it's funny.' 'Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages.' 'I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring.' 'I was quiet, but I was not blind.' 'The villain will always be the villain if the hero tells the story.' 'Better an 'oops' than a 'what if'.' 'Your opinion of me doesn't define who I am.' 'You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.' 'I am too insane to explain and you are too normal to understand.' 'If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.' 'What a plot twist you were.' 'For most people, it's all history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly.' 'Because I remembered. I remembered everything.' 'I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.' 'You're like snow. Beautiful but cold.' 'The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me?' 'I talk about you like you put the stars in the sky.' 'Should friends look at each other the way we do?'

#ask meme #askbox meme #inbox meme #inbox prompts #rp meme #rp prompts #rp starter #sentence prompts #sentence starters #writing prompts

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franzkafkagf · 11 days

Note

I noticed that Aegon's fans are divided into two teams - the first one sees him as a completely heartless, almost psychopath, the other one like in this analysis.

https://www.tumblr.com/very-straight-blog/750648583572881408/it-really-tires-me-how-some-fans-try-to-make-aegon?source=share

What do you think about it and how do you see him?

Basically I've written a few things on him already; here, here and here as well as the many web weavings i have on him hihi <3

I see him as a super nuanced character; he is deeply (and I mean deeply) broken. That's why I love him, there's so much there in terms of characterization, even with the little screentime he had.

He is so desperate to be loved but destined to be hated by everyone around him (thank you tgc for this quote, lives rent-free in my mind forever)

Rhaenyra sees him as a threat (she has this fear that her father will replace her with him, someday)

Alicent deeply loves him but is too hard on him (she genuinely thinks all her sons will die if she doesn't make him king; he needs to be strong. strong for them, strong for her.

Aemond is resentful towards him. Resentful of his weakness. He has everything Aemond ever wanted. Why isn't he happy? He would be happy and grateful (he wouldn't).

Viserys wanted Baelon. He is not Baelon.

Forced to marry his sister, he never wanted this for them (in canon,,,, I'll live in my little helaegon delulu land)

He is the kicked dog of the family. He is the only one we see being physically reprimanded. It happens time and time again, this was a deliberate choice by the writers. All of Alicent's fears and grudges and love (ugly, desperate love, but still love) towards Rhaenyra are loaded onto him -> I wished we saw them interact, they are so alike :(

What does a kicked dog do? He runs back, tail between his legs. He tries so hard but somehow it doesn't work. He feels like a failure, he runs off, avoids the pain. He doesn't want to face his reality. He drinks, he indulges in anything that will make him forget

I did not ask for this. I've done everything you've asked me to, and I try so... I try so hard, but it will never be enough for you or father.

He acts out, engages in super self-destructive behaviour -> remember when the brothel madam said that Aegon doesn't go to nice places? It's like he is punishing himself.

I'll also have to speak about his assault; kind of a baffling writing choice to introduce him as a r*pist but it is in line with his characterization. He is a prince, of course he can take anything he wants, right? It was just harmless fun, right?

This behaviour doesn't stem from cruelty (like it did with Ramsay or Joffrey) it comes from the entitlement he feels. He might be the scapegoat of the family, but he is still a spoiled prince -> I actually love this about his character too. Purely good/purely victimized characters are BORING! He is interesting, there's both evil and good in him, he is so extremely complex I want to SCREAM.

I can see him going on an arc, not repent, but change. Grow into the man who can sway the people of Dragonstone to his side, grow into the role of king. Become the type of man who would rather live in pain than dull his senses with milk of the poppy. HIS ARC WILL BE INSANE!!!!!

I know a lot of fans want him to be less whiny, less pathetic, less grey… but honestly? He is perfect the way he is in the show. I genuinely love how he is written (I would've wished to see some interaction with his kiddos and Rhaenyra, that is all lmao) and I know he will be amazing in season 2.

#aegon ii targaryen #tom glynn carney #house of the dragon #hotd #aegon targaryen #ales.txt #tw sa mention

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mcflymemes · 20 days

Text

PROMPTS FROM THE SOPRANOS * assorted dialogue from the television show, adjust as necessary

i find i have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.

i went ahead and ordered some for the table.

when you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.

we've got guns here.

he just told you to shut the fuck up.

the things i take pleasure in, i can't do.

don't you ever say you hate life.

oh, poor you!

so what, no fucking ziti now?

you want compromise? how's this?

i'll keep this short and sweet.

you're weak. you're outta control. and you've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.

sometimes it's important to give people the illusion of being in control.

are you in the mafia?

tomorrow i can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.

let me tell you a couple of three things.

you're not gonna believe this.

a wrong decision is better than indecision.

i'm like king midas in reverse here. everything i touch turns to shit.

if you can quote the rules, then you can obey them.

we're soldiers. soldiers don't go to hell. it's war. soldiers kill other soldiers.

we're in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if you are going to accept those stakes, you've got to do certain things.

there's an old italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.

someday soon, you're gonna have families of your own and if you're lucky, you'll remember the little moments like this that were good.

hey, i don't even let anyone wag their finger in my face.

it's good to be in something from the ground floor.

those who want respect give respect.

is this a woman thing? you ask me how i'm feeling, i tell you how i'm feeling, and now you're going to torture me with it.

lately, i'm getting the feeling that i came in at the end. the best is over.

my father was in it. my uncle was in it.

maybe i was too lazy to think for myself.

buy land, 'cause god ain't making any more of it.

i don't care how close you are. in the end, your friends are gonna let you down.

family... they're the only ones you can depend on.

take your hat off.

teddy roosevelt once gave an entire speech with a bullet lodged in his chest. some things are just a matter of duty.

some people are so far behind in a race that they actually believe they're leading.

sometimes we're all hypocrites.

other people's definitions of you, sometimes they're more about making themselves feel better. you gotta define yourself.

people only see what you allow them to see.

death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.

you know when i was depressed i said i didn't want to live? well, i'll tell you something. i didn't want to die.

that's why dinosaurs don't exist no more.

don't touch that! my program's coming on.

i wish the lord would take me now.

our existence on this earth is a puzzle.

i'm getting my wine in position to throw in your damn face.

#mcflymemes #rp meme #the sopranos #rp prompt #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask memes #ask meme #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters

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unformula1 · 2 months

Text

Guilt and Regret (LS2 x OP81)

synopsis: doubts, doubts and more doubts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ pairing: Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri (Loscar) w/c: 1364 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a/n: it was supposed to be short, but not anymore I guess. i missed a day but man, it's alright. enjoy!!! >>masterlist<< day 10/11 of Loscar posts until we get a loscar podium!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan Sargeant opens up about his racing life

"I think it's tough. You don't really know what to expect, you lose a lot trying to gain everything."

The article never once mentioned Oscar's name but he knew Logan was referring to him for most of it. How much Logan wanted Oscar again, and how much Oscar didn't give a shit.

"It's a high risk sport, I would say. There's very little room for error but the smallest mistake could cost everything."

"Sometimes you get on the bad side of people you love."

“I mean, losing friends, it’s part of it all”

Oscar almost coughed up his water after reading that. He definitely knew who Logan was referring to.

Oscar wanted to slam his head against a wall. Logan was speaking up about his racing life but all Oscar could think about was Logan's subtle hints toward Logan.

He felt horrible. He felt disgusting. He felt like a failure of a friend.

From someone who promised Logan he'd be there whenever Logan needed, this was pretty shitty of him.

Oscar had let Logan down. Oscar disappointed him. For once it wasn't the other way round, and it took everything Oscar had out of him.

He felt his guilt wash up into his lungs, clogging it up, forcing him to gasp for air constantly. It was drowning him.

He felt the regret engulf his heart, wrapping around it with a tight hug that could kill. It was suffocating.

He turned off his phone, taking a very deep breath. The 5 minute read felt like an eternity of smacks in the face about how much he overlooked his best friend's pain.

Oscar always regarded himself as someone who noticed a lot. He always felt as if he would notice the small details in his friends and remember them forever.

Guess not.

He placed his phone on the bedside table and laid down on his bed, looking up at the hotel room ceiling. Despite being a boring, bland plain white colour, it stood out.

Memories of Oscar and Logan played on the ceiling, like a film, running through the different scenes.

Happiness.

Laughs.

Smiles.

Then it all fell apart. And guess who was to blame...

Oscar shut his eyes tightly, reminiscing for a bit, everything was just so overwhelming. How did a 5 minute article cause him to cry about something he thought he'd gotten over a few months ago.

He'd swore he'd stopped crying about Logan and his relationship months ago. It was supposed to never affect him again, and here he was crying about it once again.

Oscar never regarded himself as sensitive, in fact he was probably the dead opposite, but something about missing Logan always struck something in him.

Everything had to change. Oscar was sure of it, he wasn't sure if Logan even cared anymore, after all the snippets of interviews and quotes he'd read online. Maybe Logan was done trying to repair everything himself, maybe he'd moved on.

Oscar coughed again, choking on the imminent tears, he was a failure of a friend. He wanted Logan as a friend again. He knew that.

"It wasn't up to expectation but I'll keep going!"

Logan's interview played on the big screens. Oscar swore he'd heard this statement a few million times, and every single time Oscar had failed to even ask Logan how he was holding up.

Horrible.

Oscar sprinted over to where the interview was taking place. The sound of Logan's interview still playing in the background.

"I mean, I'll always love doing this no matter what."

Oscar tried his best to tune out the interview but to no avail. It was louder than ever.

"People come and go. I guess that's how it works but I'll try my best always."

There was no way he wasn't referring to Oscar.

He dashed past the personnel and maneuvered his way through the barricades.

"And I mean, things happen..." Logan continued.

Oscar halted to a shrieking stop right next to Logan's interview, causing Logan's voice to falter to silence as he watched Oscar run over.

"Hey Oscar." The interviewer commented.

Oscar tried to catch his breath before saying anything.

Logan just stood there awkwardly, holding the mic as the camera panned over to Oscar.

Oscar shook his head, "No... no sorry for interrupting... keep going." Oscar said in between heavy pants.

"Alright." The interviewer said.

The interview wrapped up pretty quickly after that and the cameras cut.

"Oscar, what happened." Logan asked.

Oscar didn't know if his mind was playing tricks on him but Logan's tone had a piercing lack of sympathy, as if this was just a pointless question that was expecting a dry answer like "I'm okay".

"I'm..." Oscar hesitated. I'm okay. Say it. I'm fine. I am. Nothing's new.

Logan raised an eyebrow, adjusting his shirt as he did so.

"I wanted to talk to you." Oscar forced out, hoping he didn't choke up any words.

"Clearly." Logan joked. Oscar tried to get a laugh but nothing came out.

"Oh. It's a serious kind." Logan cleared his throat, "Shall we go somewhere more private."

When was Logan ever this formal? If this wasn't a hit in the face that Logan didn't care about Oscar anymore, he didn't know what was.

Oscar nodded, before following wherever Logan was bringing him.

They were in a secluded room, away from the press, away from their teams, away from everyone.

“Go on.” Logan said.

“I… uhm… so…” Oscar stuttered, contemplating his choice of words constantly.

Logan smiled and nodded, signalling for Oscar to continue.

“I saw your article, slash, interview.” Oscar tried to sound less awkward, “And uhm… I… wanted to talk about it.”

Logan nodded, rather excitedly, “You read it? Did I sound too attention seeking? Did I sound ungrateful?”

“No. No… none of that. It was more about me, actually.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows, the gears clearly shifting in his head.

“Uhm… were you talking about me?” Oscar said. The words vomited out his mouth, coming out quick and swiftly.

“As in?” Logan asked.

“When you said something about losing friends, getting on their bad side. I don’t know, vaguely something like that.” Oscar’s voice came out unnatural, as if he was muffling a few cries.

“Oh…” Logan’s head lowered, his feet shuffled a little, “Maybe…? A little?”

“What does that mean?” Oscar practically started begging, “Please. I need to know. I’m sorry if I’ve ever been such a horrible friend but please. I need to know if you hate me or something.”

Logan was about to say something when Oscar interrupted.

“Maybe you don’t want to talk to me ever again but I promise you, just say how you feel about me and I’ll never be in your business again. Please. PLEASE.” Oscar blabbered, “Oh shit, I interrupted you. Sorry. Fuck. Sorry.”

A small, tiny smile crept onto Logan’s face. A small chuckle escaping.

Oscar was confused, obviously. He tilted his head to the side.

“Osc. I thought I was the one messing up here. I thought I wasn’t doing good enough for you. I really thought I was the issue here.” Logan said.

“Really. Well because- wait. No. You thought you weren’t doing good enough?” Oscar said, “you thought YOU weren’t doing good enough for me?”

Logan sheepishly nodded.

“Logan, you'll always be enough for me. Always.” Oscar remarked, rather sassily.

“Okay well, you’ve never been a horrible friend. I thought I was just… never living up to being your friend. You’ve been nothing but the best.” Logan admitted, smiling a little wider.

Oscar dragged an ‘ugh’ for a few seconds.

“This was so stupid.” Oscar said, “God… you’re amazing Logan.”

“You are too. The best, probably.” Logan said as he pulled Oscar in for a hug, which Oscar reciprocated.

Both of them stayed like that for a while. It’s been a while since Oscar had felt anything as good as this. The warmth filled his entire body.

It unclogged his lungs from all the guilt as Logan’s words resounded through his head.

It released all the regret from his heart, knowing Logan was never going to give up on Oscar, ever.

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seraphiism · 1 year

Text

❀ ﾟ. ༄ ┊ 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧 ;

( you are a living thing in the family of living things ; the place you belong is here. )

characters : alhaitham • xiao • wanderer • childe • zhongli quote cr : madeleine jubilee saito a/n : for my enemy @micheya for the @favonius-library gift event !! i hope you enjoy this micheya i'll never be mean to you ever again <3

↬ alhaitham ࿐ ࿔

but a scribe does not quite understand the feeling of sanctuary, such sentiments out of sight, out of mind-- until it comes to you, that is. in the morning hours, he wakes at the usual time, today's schedule the first recollection as he ponders the most efficient way to go about his tasks. he opens his eyes, determined to set off in yet another hectic day, but there is something that throws him for a loop, catches him entirely off-guard :

you, who rests comfortably in his arms, the warmth of your body felt against his.

alhaitham blinks once, twice, tries to rid of the haze of exhaustion. he's fortunate you're still sleeping; you surely would have laughed at that flicker of surprise that you so rarely see from him.

ah, he remembers now, remembers how you fell asleep in the peaceful silence as he read his book, free hand idly tracing circles into your skin.

in this moment, he recognizes something like a belonging, so he smiles a gentle smile, presses a kiss to your temple.

at this rate, he may as well ignore his plans, sleep in just a little bit more. perhaps this decision will result in chaos in the long run, but you are very much worth it, after all.

you always are.

↬ xiao ࿐ ࿔

a yaksha knows of his role and what his life is destined for : a protector of liyue, conqueror of demons, a burial site for evils and grief alike. xiao is careful to keep his distance from you, the mortal life something he has never been meant to know of. but you are stubborn and relentless in your endeavors, and so you force your way into a reserved and seemingly cold heart, know that despite the corruption beneath it all, there is still a kindness and innocence that thrives in ways untold.

xiao does not think he understands loneliness. not at first, not until your constant and insistent presence.

it almost feels right, the binding of souls, the string that connects you. it almost feels as if he was meant to be at your side : your guardian, your sword and shield, your forevermore.

"i think," you begin, voice hardly above a whisper as you gaze upon liyuu from wangshu inn, "we are bound somehow, xiao." you cast a glance in his direction, a gentle affection surfacing in his eyes. "that wherever you go, i am meant to go, as well."

and a yaksha who knows only of desolation feels something beat so furiously in his chest, breath hitched and an unfamiliar exhilaration racing through his blood. he forces his gaze away, such words of affection almost too cruel. he laces his fingers with yours, and though you cannot see him when he speaks, you hear the smile in his voice.

"i belong to you." he tells you, squeezing your hand ever so gently. "wherever you go, i will follow."

↬ wanderer ࿐ ࿔

& a wanderer has lost himself in the burials of misery and memory, a bitter existence lost in a forever, reinvigorated and reincarnated into something of sorrows and a spark of redemption. something aches in the depths of a puppet, and he does not think it is the heart -- but he is not sure, in truth -- should he ever have one, would he recognize that pain? the sorrow?

would he recognize anything, he wonders?

( and he knows the answer, he does. because he knows of rage and wrath and ruin, knows what it is like to experience abandon and bitterness and everything horrid. but he cannot fathom the idea of feeling something kind, something akin to joy. peace. love. )

love-- it is not something he quite recognizes, but it is something he is beginning to understand, especially in the midst of your presence. he does not know why the feeling blooms in his chest, fills the hollows of once was, and as much as he tries to fight it, he knows that you have made your way into his newfound life, deems you as someone he cannot bear to lose.

the way his name leaves your lips is both a blessing and curse, he thinks -- the gentleness in your voice, the faint curiosity that lingers because of the flush of pink that adorns his features.

no, perhaps he does not entirely understand love yet-- but in the way your hands cup his face, a smile blooming on the curve of your lips, he knows that he will soon know its true meaning.

↬ childe ࿐ ࿔

ask childe where his home is and he will tell you high tales of his hometown : the bitter coldness, the fondness found in mischievous siblings, and memories of abyss and beyond. ask childe where his home is and he will tell you a thousand things, because truthfully, he feels that he cannot find it, not anymore. but with you, there is a feeling reminiscent of a home away from home.

"do you miss it? your home?"

childe hums, feigns deep thought. should home be defined as somewhere one deeply yearns for, a place where one thrives and feels a connection to, there are many places he deems as such. whether it is the place he grew up or the place where he learned of survivals and bloodlust and a lingering madness, he is unsure.

"often, i do." he admits, throws you a cheeky grin. but there is something in his voice that is genuine and superficial all at once -- you cannot place it, though, and somewhere in your heart, you wonder what he truly thinks and where he is truly thinking about.

he sees that hesitation, that semblance of grief that adorns your features. it's hard to catch, but he knows you all too well, and he knows it isn't because you mourn his longing. it's because you know him just as well, because you know what his answer means.

"don't worry." he tells you, a gentle smile resting on the curve of his lips as he holds your hand. he squeezes it, gentle, smile growing when you squeeze it back. "you're my home too, you know?"

↬ zhongli ࿐ ࿔

oh, how the ages have passed, the days gone by a blur. in the life of a higher being, there is much sorrow to be found and recognized. in the life of a higher being, zhongli understands feelings all too well : how they dwell so deeply in the heart of a dragon, settle in the depths of an old spirit, unable to seek their way out. how he carries a lifetime of memories with him, the remnants of those he has lost and loved a forever in his mind.

zhongli knows of haven, knows it to be many places all at once. his heart belongs everywhere he has ever existed, and in this present time, it knows you to be harbor.

the scent of tea fills a silent air, breaks his focus. you pour it, cautious, place it gently before him and take a seat by his side. many a time you have found him deep in thought, a lingering loneliness in the air ; in these moments, you dare not disrupt him, only seeking his company in silence. you rest your head on his shoulder, hand gently placed over his.

it is a very tranquil thing, this feeling of serenity. he smiles a blithe smile, knows that he will remember the comfort that is you for many lifetimes to come.

( there are many places he recognizes as refuge, zhongli thinks, the floral scent and your warmth enveloping his senses, and you are the most important one. )

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #alhaitham x reader #xiao x reader #childe x reader #wanderer x reader #zhongli x reader #.: writing #.: multi

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