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the-acid-pear · 3 years

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I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

#luly talks #i hit character limit already waaa :(#but I'm too into this to stop reading lol #btg #this saga is a bit boring but el che is funny :)#baki liveblog

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grailfinders · 3 years

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Fate and Phantasms #181

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re finishing up the last of the racing teams from the Dead Heat Summer Race with Minamoto no Raikou (Lancer)! She’s the new addition to Team Prefect of Public Decency and Monk Sanzang, a name that just rolls off the tongue.

This shadow prefect is a Devotion Paladin to supercharge her lance/yo-yo with lightning and shut down any indecency this summer, as well as a Monster Slayer Ranger to sense evil before it happens.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: The commissioner!?!

Race and Background

Like most summer servants, your background isn’t that different. Raikou’s still a Fallen Aasimar, giving her +1 Wisdom and +2 Charisma, Darkvision to dunk on those dumb human eyes, Celestial Resistance against Radiant and Necrotic damage, and Healing Hands so she can make people feel better by pressing her body up against them. Get your mind out of the gutter, there’s nothing improper happening here. She also gets the Light cantrip. You might not be able to actually stick lightning in your weapon yet, but at least it looks like you did!

You’re also still a soldier, giving you proficiency with Athletics and Intimidation.

Ability Scores

Make sure your Charisma is as high as possible. I don’t know why, but you’re just really persuasive in this spirit origin. After that is Strength, you still have to be able to chuck a lance at someone’s head if they’re misbehaving. Your Dexterity also has to be pretty good, both for multiclassing and so you can wear that swimsuit later without getting destroyed. Your Wisdom isn’t terrible; you’re not that observant about most things, but you can tell pretty easily when someone’s up to no good. That leaves you with a pretty low Constitution, but it would hurt too much to dump that, so we’re dumping Intelligence instead. A. it’s summer, and B. you have no issue criticizing other’s swimsuits while wearing one of your own.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Starting the build off as a paladin is pretty cool, it gives you proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma Saves, as well as two paladin skills. Grab Insight for a non-magical way to tell when someone’s up to mischief, and Persuasion for... reasons.

You also get a Divine Sense, letting you sense extraplanar creatures near you as an action. Now, I’m not saying an undead creature is inherently evil (esp. with those new playable races), but it’s probably a pretty good indicator when demons show up. You also get Lay on Hands for more physical contact based healing! Admittedly Raikou doesn’t have a healing skill, but somehow I doubt the rest of the party will mind, aside from perhaps Kintoki.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get a Fighting Style to customize how they slap things, and the Dueling style adds 2 to your attack damage if you’re using a one handed weapon and nothing else. You can also cast and prepare Spells using your Charisma modifier, or use those spell slots to make Divine Smites for extra radiant damage. It’s not lightning, but we’re getting there. As far as what you should prepare goes, I’d suggest anything with “Detect” in its name, as well as a Thunderous Smite. Still not lightning damage, but thematically we’re getting closer.

3. Paladin 3: Third level paladins get Divine Health, making you immune to disease. You’re also so devoted to your cause that you’re a Devotion paladin, which gives you Protection from Evil and Good and Sanctuary as free spells.

You can also Channel Divinity once per short rest in one of two flavors. Sacred Weapon adds your charisma modifier to a weapon’s attack rolls, and it becomes magical for the duration. Meanwhile, Turn the Unholy forces fiends and undead to make a wisdom save, and on a failure they have to move as far away from you as possible for up to a minute, or until it takes damage.

Also, since this is your third total level, you get a Necrotic Shroud that settles on you as an action once per long rest. When you transform this way, you get all spooky and force a charisma save on nearby creatures, frightening them for a turn if they fail. Afterwards, for up to a minute you can add necrotic damage equal to your level to one attack or spell per turn.

4. Paladin 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to get more Strength. This improves your stabbing, and... that’s it. Still, stabbing’s pretty useful.

5. Paladin 5: Fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each attack action. Now your stabbing is even more useful, you’re welcome.

You also get second level spells, like your freebies Lesser Restoration and Zone of Truth. More importantly, you can use Find Steed to find yourself a steed for the race. Your warhorse comes out of the box as a celestial instead of a beast, and it also has an Intelligence of 6 so it can understand one language you speak. Any spell you cast on yourself also targets your steed if you’re riding it, and you can talk to it with your mind if you’re within a mile of it.

6. Ranger 1: Now that we’ve got your ride set up, it’s time to get shocking. To help with this, we’re going ranger. Multiclassing into ranger gets you one ranger skill, so grab Animal Handling so your horse doesn’t throw you off first thing.

As a bonus action, you can turn one enemy into your Favored Foe, dealing a bit of extra damage once per turn until you take a short rest or tag someone else.

You’re also a Deft Explorer, which right now means you’re Canny with Persuasion, doubling your proficiency bonus.

7. Ranger 2: Second level rangers get a second fighting style, and Thrown Weapon Fighting lets you add 2 to the damage of a weapon after you chuck it at someone’s head. You can also draw the weapon you’re throwing as part of the attack, streamlining the whole process.

You also get another set of Spells that you can cast with your Wisdom, like Animal Friendship, which ironically won’t help with your own horse. You also get Detect Poison and Disease to free up your paladin prep space.

Since you’re multiclassing now, check the player’s hand book for how many spell slots you have at a given time. Also, you’ll get third level slots eventually, but you won’t be able to prepare third level paladin spells. Stick with what you know.

8. Ranger 3: Third level rangers get Primeval Awareness, which lets you spend spell slots to sense weird creatures within a mile of you, though you don’t find their location. Think of it like a terrible, terrible smite. Like the anti-smite. Because that’s what it’s doing; it’s taking smites out of your child’s mouth. Let Kintoki have his smites.

Oh right, you also get your subclass. Monster Slayers get Protection from Evil and Good as a freebie like devotion paladins, but neither one uses your casting modifier so it doesn’t matter. You also get a Hunter’s Sense that lets you sense a creature’s weaknesses as an action. You learn your target’s immunities, resistances, and vulnerabilities unless they’re immune to divination. You can use this Wisdom Modifier times per long rest.

You can also turn one creature into your Slayer’s Prey as a bonus action, dealing an extra 1d6 damage once per turn when you hit it with a weapon attack. You can have one prey at a time, and it lasts until you finish a short rest.

You can also Detect Magic now. Any sort of magic on the race track is probably improper, right?

9. Paladin 6: Sixth level paladins get an Aura of Protection, adding your charisma modifier to all saving throws done by your allies near you. If you weren’t around, your allies might have fallen prey to all sorts of spells! How improper!

10. Ranger 4: Bouncing back to ranger gets you another ASI, use this to grab the Armor of Shadows invocation from the Eldritch Adept feat. Now you can change out of those stuffy prefect clothes and into something more appropriate. For Summer, at least.

11. Ranger 5: Fifth level rangers get second level spells and nothing else, since extra attacks don’t stack. You can now Find Traps that have been set up around you, and you get another way to cast Zone of Truth, but your charisma’s better, so stick to using paladin to cast that one.

12. Ranger 6: Your Favored Foe takes more damage, and you’re now Roving, giving you some extra speed plus a climbing and swimming speed. Perfect for a day on the beach!

13. Ranger 7: Seventh level monster slayers can put up a Supernatural Defense, adding 1d6 to saves and grapple escape checks against your slayer’s prey. You’ve seen these kinds of hooligans before, and they’re all the same. You know what they’ll do before even they do.

You can also provide Aid to your allies, giving them extra maximum HP. Put those overcharge spell slots to use! (Or just smite stuff. Either or.)

14. Paladin 7: Seventh level devotion paladins get an Aura of Devotion, preventing you or friendly creatures near you from being charmed. Summer romance... how indecent! Don’t they know what they’re doing?

15. Paladin 8: For your last paladin level, use this ASI to bump up your Charisma and Dexterity for a higher AC, stronger saves, and better spells.

16. Ranger 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma again, for even stronger saves and better spells. You can also use Land’s Stride to avoid damage from nonmagical plants and avoid getting slowed by difficult terrain. You also get advantage against saves from magical plants. Yeah, every summer servant can fight without armor on, but the second they have to walk through a thorn bush they’re hosed. You’re ahead of the game!

17. Ranger 9: Ninth level rangers get third level spells. Elemental Weapon finally lets you stick lightning in your spear for extra fun. You also get Magic Circle for free.

18. Ranger 10: A tenth level ranger is Tireless, letting you heal yourself as an action Proficiency times per long rest, and you can reduce exhaustion on short rests. Now you can spend all night... making sure nobody does anything naughty under the cover of darkness, obviously.

You can also Hide in Plain Sight after crafting camouflage over a minute. Once becamoed, press against a surface as big as you are, and you get a +10 bonus to stealth checks as long as you don’t move.

19. Ranger 11: Your last Monster Slayer goody turns you into a Magic-User’s Nemesis, using your reaction once per short rest to force a wisdom save on a creature teleporting or casting a spell within 60′ of you. If they fail, the spell is wasted.

If you want that spear of yours to be really flashy, you can also use Lightning Arrow to give it a lot more oomph, dealing lightning damage to the target whether it hits or misses, and then dealing more damage to all creatures around that target. Use Elemental Weapon for longevity, or Lightning Arrow for a big blow all at once.

20. Ranger 12: Use your capstone level’s ASI to bump up your Strength one last time for even more accurate and deadly attacks.

Pros:

With your auras and ranger defenses active you can be really annoying to spellcasters. Charms don’t work, you might just counterspell them, your saves can be somewhere between +6 and +11. It’s just a mess for wizards to put up with.

Mixing paladin and ranger also lets you combine their tracking abilities to become the ultimate evil detector, seeking out and shutting down baddies from the shadows.

You specialize in boss fights, focusing on a single target and gradually stacking buffs against them, like favored foe and slayer’s prey, letting you deal pretty consistent damage against a single target over time.

Cons:

You multiclassed into two classes that both require two ability scores to be good. And neither one shares an ability score with the other. You’re MAD as hell, is what I’m trying to say here. Also, your paladin abilities won out handily against your ranger abilities, so your wisdom ended up way lower than you’d probably like.

Similarly, neither class required Constitution, so yours is pretty low for a mid-line fighter. You have barely over 100 HP, and your AC is only 15. Be really careful your horse doesn’t get shot out from under you, you’ll need that extra mobility.

Stacking buffs takes a lot of time, either dedicating an entire turn just to making your next turn good or having a few not so great turns right at the start. Depending on the kinds of situations you end up in, a character ready to go turn one might be a better option.

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1277

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”? It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet.

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about? Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline.

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall? We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD? No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with? My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds? Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them? Who was the last person you dreamt about? My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn? As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why? I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child? We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it.

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried? So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku? I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money? I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh? Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live? A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in? Angela.

Does your car have an alarm? Sure.

Where was your mom born? Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what? My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you? I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? Probably. But nothing sticks out.

#survey #surveys

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prettyallfriends · 3 years

Text

Pretty Rhythm: My☆Deco Rainbow Wedding Chapter 13+14

(I'm weirdly motivated to just churn out a tonne of chapters tonight. I may get 2 more out of the way... Anyway, in chapter 13 we get some Rinne lore and general sadness. In chapter 14 we basically get confirmation that Ayami is in love with Chae-kyung. I got whiplash between these two chapters)

Chapter 13: The Runway Needs a Prism Heart

Mia: Aaaand here we are!!

Penguin-sensei: You insufferable airhead, dragging people along without thinking!!

Mia: People?? What are you saying~? You’re a penguin!

Penguin-sensei: Oh yeah, I forgot for a second! Yes, I am indeed a member of birdkind. I am, and always have been a penguin~ Penpen!... Wait, what are you making me say!?!?

Mia: Woah, now, don’t get mad. Anyways, what’s Rinne doing around here? (It’s a snowy tree ice rink type area)

Penguin-sensei: Geez! Rinne is entering a fashion show here today.

Mia: A fashion show!? Wow, that’s the perfect job for her, huh? I wonder what coord and what persona she’ll be wearing. That’s it! Why don’t you enter the fashion show too, Player?

Penguin-sensei: It’s not that easy to enter!

Mia: Huh really... Then, I have a question for you, Player… Does Rinne really enjoy being all alone?

Choice: She’s probably lonely / I think she’s fine

Mia: You really think so? No matter how much power you have, you’re bound to get lonely if you’re by yourself all the time. And she changes her personality so much, she might forget her true self. Let’s find her and ask her ourselves.

…

Mia: Hm, we still haven’t found her, huh? --??

Rinne: Seven-hued metamorphosis… Change!!! Pop!!! Yaaaay!☆ Today I’m gonna be super poppy and energetic! And I’m gonna work super hard for my fashion show☆

Mia: She’s changed her personality again!? So now she’s pop, huh… Wait a minute, I can’t just space out! Let’s go, Player!! Kaboom!! Excuse us!!

Rinne: Gah! You surprised me~ Oh? What’s wrong, Player?? Ah, I’ve got it! You want to enter the fashion show, right?

Picock: You fiends! What art you doing here!?

Rinne: It looks like Player wants to enter the fashion show too. It's fine, right? Whoo, okay☆

Picock: Poppycock!! Rinne, thou art entering the fashion show alone! Thou art more than enough! You must adorn yourself in the sexy coord next!!

Rinne: Seven-hued metamorphosis… Change!!! Sexy!!! Ehehe♡ Wow, I’m so touched that you came just to visit little ol’ me, Player-chan♡

Mia: And now she’s acting all sexy!?

Picock: As Rinne possess the powers of every variety of coord, she alone is enough to showcase them all. Next… is this coord! Rinne,--

Mia: That’s enough!!

Rinne: Hm…?

Mia: We don’t want to talk to the personas that Rinne uses with her coords… We came here to talk to the real Rinne!!

Rinne: The… real me??

Mia: Rinne, your said that Player has a wonderful heart, right? They use their own original My☆Deco coords. And you both want the Rainbow Wedding. If that’s the case, then fight Player as your true self!

Rinne: Stop it!!! Ugh… the power of the coords is… (she goes back to her normal outfit)

Picock: Rinne’s seven-hued metamorphosis has… reverted!?

Rinne: I… can’t do it.

Mia: Why not!?

Picock: You insolent fool! Thou art going awfully far… In that case, Player, you are to serve as Rinne’s opponent in this fashion show! Fashion a coord that suits your stage, and show us the power of My☆Deco!

Mia: Hell yeah! Player, you need to use your My☆Deco power to open Rinne’s heart!

(prism show yanno the drill)

Mia: Woohoo!!! Your coord and stage were perfect for each other! You didn’t have to change your persona to be able to perform a great prism show!

Picock: How can this be…? How canst thou perform so well without a seven-hued metamorphosis!?

Mia: It’s because Player is in tune with their own heart. My☆Deco is all about decorating your own heart, after all! Changing your persona to match your coord all the time, meanwhile? That's really sad. Rinne needs to realise that.

Rinne: Your own heart… The real me… Aaaaaaah!!!

Mia: Rinne!? Are you okay??

Rinne: I don’t get it… I don’t get it…

Mia: What don’t you get?

Rinne: I… I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything!!

Mia: Huh…?

Picock: Rinne, do not push yourself too hard whilst trying to recover your memories. There is no need to hurry. Once thou can acquire the Rainbow Wedding…

Rinne: ...I’ll remember everything I’ve forgotten?

Picock: Of course.

Rinne: That’s a relief…

Picock: It would be better if you two left for today. Rinne needs to rest.

Mia: But… Won’t she just keep doing her seven-hued metamorphosis? I mean, at this rate she’ll lose more and more of her true self!

Rinne: It’s fine… Don’t bully them, Picock.

Mia: Rinne…?

Rinne: I’m empty. But if I play all these characters… I feel like someone will tell me it’s okay to exist… After all… I’m…

Picock: Rinne, thou must rest.

Rinna: Right…

Picock: Player. If thou wishes to worry Rinne, the least you can do is polish your My☆Deco power first. The child who was chosen by the Rainbow Charm to wield the power of My☆Deco… Perhaps, you might… No, now is not the time for this.

Mia: For what? Now I have to know!!

Picock: Well then, farewell for now.

Mia: They left… Hmm. It feels like we’ve made a step in the direction of Rinne’s secret… But at the same time, her secrets keep piling up… What did Rinne forget? Agh!!! I! Need! To! Know!!!

(sad music still playing. ATARASII HAIR STYLE DE ASOBERU YO!!!! ATARASII KYOKU DE ASOBERU YO!!!!! Ljdkhjkasfj meganee realy knows how to ruin a moment. Anyway im sure it will be a great relief to learn that ive finally gotten my dream hairstyle and hair colour unlocked)

Chapter 14: Writing a Memomemo About the Secret of the Coord

Mia: You seem pretty down, huh Player? I’m pretty concerned about Rinne too, she seemed really sad… When I look at someone making a sad face, I end up feeling sad too… Ah... There’s a cat outside the window. Cats sure are great~ Not like they have anything to worry about. That’s it! Let’s become cats and just purr all day! Now, you do it too, Player! Purr, meow~~~

Ayami: STAND UP, GIIIIIRLS!!!

Mia: AHH!! Stand-up? Or is it stand up?

Ayami: That’s right. Stand up, girls. Memomemomemomemo…

Mia: What the hell, Ayami! I was in the middle of lazing around like a cat!

Ayami: Ah! Cats… A black cat!!! Cats sure are great… And they never have anything to worry about…

Mia: I literally said the exact same thing!

Ayami: Ah… I also want to become a cat.

Mia: Why? Did something happen, Ayami?

Ayami: Um…

Mia: That reminds me, you wanted to participate in Stand Up Girls, right?

Ayami: That’s right. I’m going to form a team with Chae-kyung-san and enter next time.

Mia: That’s cool. You’ll be able to pull off a very celebrity show then!

Ayami: Yes… And I’m happy about that, I’m really looking forward to it… but we decided that I’m going to be in charge of designing our coords.

Mia: But you’re great at designing, right?

Ayami: I really love Chae-kyung, but when I think of the kinds of coords she usually wears… Well, they’re the cream of the crop! They’re out of my league! ...which is what I’ve been thinking as I write memo upon memo upon memo upon…

Mia: Wow… Your notebook's completely full! You won’t thinking of any new ideas like this.

Ayami: I know that. But whenever I think about it… Ugh. Player-san, do your have any good ideas?

Choice: Try to get some inspiration from something around here? / I’ve got nothing

Ayami: Something around here… That’s actually really good advice! Hm…? What are you looking at, Player-san? Oh, Mr. Cat. Look, he’s sleeping with his tummy out, aww. He’s so cute, all relaxed like that. ...Ah!

Mia: Did you think of something!?

Ayami: As expected of Player-san! You wanted me to get inspiration from the cat, didn’t you? I need to learn how to relax my heart just like this cat!

Mia: Is… is that right!?

Ayami: I’ll take a memomemo! I’ve thought of a design! Player-san, could you do a show in the coord I’ve designed? I’ve taken a memomemo of the cute, meowing Black Cat Coord! Hm, that’s right… Powder Snow Park is close by, let’s go there!

(prism show. My nyas?)

Ayami: Amazing! That was a very meowmeow show! Chae-kyung-san will definitely like the coord too…

Chae-kyung: Ayami!

Ayami: Chae-kyung-san! You were watching too?

Chae-kyung: That was a very celebrity show. Ayami and Player are both amazing! With this coord, we’re sure to get a celebrally good result in Stand Up Girls.

Ayami: Ehehe… I’m so happy to hear that. It’s all thanks to Player-san. Carefully thinking things through is important, but freely thinking things through is important too! I’ll make a memomemo of that!

Mia: Wow, Player, you’ve really grown, huh! You gave Ayami design advice, you’re so cool! Your My☆Deco power has to have powered up too, right?

Ayami: According to my memos, by powering up your My☆Deco power… you’ll be able to decorate your prism stones with frames!

Chae-kyung: Being able to create your own celebrity original coords is wonderful!

Ayami: You should try making a lot of new coords with your new ability to add frames. That’s it! If you’re okay with it, why not use this Black Cat Part for your My☆Deco?

Chae-kyung: You’ll definitely be able to make a celebrally cute coord!

Mia: Now that your My☆Deco has powered up, you’ll be able to enjoy prism shows a lot more! The Gold Spiral Cup is coming up soon, too. Work hard up until then!

Chae-kyung: We’re also going to work celebrally hard at the Gold Spiral Cup!

Ayami: Player-san, thank you so much!

(naur bc why did google drive keep autocorrecting chae-kyung to chase-kyung. bitch who tf is chase-kyung. maybe chase-kyung is her mechas car transformation idk)

#pretty rhythm #pretty rhythm 3ds #pretty rhythm dear my future #pretty rhythm aurora dream #pretty rhythm rainbow live #pretty series #mdrw

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madllamamomma · 4 years

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I Think I Have a Problem.... (A personal true story).

So as the title suggests, I have a strange problem…. Just as a warning, this is about my view of my younger self. It is about religion, and gender identity. This is not how I see the world anymore. It was how I told how the world should look. If you are offended in any way, please know this is a vent post and nothing to hurt anyone else. This is just what happened to me as a child. Shit….. This is about to get very long winded, so buckle up and here we go… *takes deep breath*

So a little backstory on your Mother Llama: I was raised in a weird backward ass “Independent” Baptist church most of my young life. If you guys don’t know what those are, be thankful…. But I guess I should explain it the best way I can…. they are a borderline cult. Yes. I said it. I’m not sorry. It may sound like an extreme accusation, but hold on. Just listen to me.

Now, I have no problem with Christians, or religion. You should believe whatever you want to believe in…. I do however, have a problem when religion is used as an excuse to not educate minds about the real world, force them to not let them think for themselves, and when someone questions any of it, they are punished or shamed for it instead of thinking about an answer. If you can’t tell, I am still a little angry about that shit. Imma try to keep on topic here….

I wasn’t taught science (real science anyways, it was all about ‘creation’ bs—OH! And being anything but a cis straight person was compleltly unexceptable. Woman were the weaker sex and were made to raise babies and take care of the husband. Men were superior and should be taken care of.) nor about World history or about other cultures, other than biblical of course. And when they were mentioned, they made them look evil and behave like heathens because they didn’t believe the same as they did. Everything changed when I went to public school half of fourth grade when my family moved to a different state and there wasn’t any church school like I went to. I learned a lot those years, that ‘The World’ wasn’t as bad of a place as they said it was. It was vast and had many things to offer. (No, not the World, Dio’s stan power from Jojo’s bizarre adventures—that is what our pastors called anything outside of the Baptist approved realm. Something ‘Worldly’ was basically something sinful and ungodly and therefor was bad and wrong).

So this may seem like a strange Segway in to what I am actually getting at, but I had a huge crush on this boy back when I was young and it started when I was about 12 or 13 years old and ended when I was 16. He was the same age as me, and he was the son of a pastor of a small church of about 20 people, mostly military families— we will call him.... D.... for dick...

I thought for a long time that I ‘loved’ D. I thought that ‘God made him for me’ (yes I really said that and it hurt to even write it). I really thought I knew what love was back then, but I was very wrong.

D was homeschooled, he didn’t have many friends and was also a navy brat like I was. So, naturally, we got along very well, and I would hang out with him at his house sometimes. We mainly played video games I was terrible at and he would always bet me. But I liked hanging out with him, so I didn’t care if I won or not. My heart for some reason was totally head over heels over D. And he liked me too for a while… or at least I thought he did… He however never made a move. I always thought D was just too shy, and didn’t know how to ask me. Any time I tried holding his hand, I’d chicken out. It was a stalemate. But this particular church did a thing where people had to court. Yes... COURT someone, not DATE (Courting is where you had adult chaperones keeping an eye on you two, you were never really alone. Ever, because apparently you can’t be trusted?). When we both turned 15 yo, D started a private Christian school. Being the awkward girl I was, I never told him how I felt, I just waiting for him to say something. Time passed, and I still waited and waited for him to ask me out.

But here’s the thing! He didn’t know the real me.

I was in public school, in middle school, and I started to become a weeb. Like a super cringy weeb that didn’t like anything else but anime—I was also kinda emo/punk kid thought I was edgy. (Yeah rock music was bad too, it was ‘Worldly’).Not a very good mix for Baptist I know. At school, I was one person, and at church I was another.

Well, being an anime fan meant I was exposed to a lot of things like the LGTB+ community for the first time. A lot of my friends at the time started to come out other than straight and that was very new to me.

During that time, I soon was starting to secretly question my faith, my understanding of my own sexuality and gender. Like, maybe people liking the same sex or both is actually not a bad thing after all (if you haven’t seen any of my works, hopefully you guys know that I know better that what I was taught—I am a proud fuckin’ ally! I still consider myself cis-straight, but some days I feel like I’m bi-curious, and that’s ok! It took me a long time to realize that, but I’m here now. Gender roles are dead and stupid.)

So here is the kicker~ One faithful day we had a guest pastor join us for a few weeks from another church. This mother fuckin’ nasty ass old white man from Alabama came with his ‘perfect quiet godly’ wife. Who badly ever spoke a damn word. She always just sat in the corner all ‘ladylike’.

—Oh!!! Another fun fact, I didn’t wear pants for a year when I was 10 yo becasue that was considered “cross dressing”— I’m dead fucking serious. My parents then decided after attending sporting events and stuff like that to drop that ludicrous lifestyle, becasue it was stupid. So, Outside of church, my family and I still wore pants and shorts and whatever, but in church we pretended that we didn’t wear anything but modest skirts, dresses, and long culottes. (That’s a little damaging…. don’t you think? Telling people your one thing, when in reality you're not like that at all??)

Anyways— I hated skirts, especially wearing them in the state we lived in, it was way too hot and I’d get chafed (these had to be knee length or longer btw). And of course that guest preacher would preach about the sins of women wearing pants, but I didn’t care. I wore them for so long, it just made me angry anytime someone would bring that up. I liked my jeans and I was starting to become a rebel teen who gave less than a fuck and started to speak my mind. Which was dangerous to that community…. Also I had a bad tendency of not keeping my legs together when I bent down, and one time I accidently showed my underwear (that’s really embarrassing btw, it’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s awful when you're 14 yo-- really any age actually).

So, one day I wore a long jean skirt for a youth outing with the church. I was required to wear it, but I always wore leggings underneath so I wouldn’t accidentally show my undies if I fell down or the wind blew it. This fucker had to say something about it. The old man turned to me with a wrinkled smirk as I was passing by him and dared to utter, “Now, don’t you feel most femine and ladylike in that skirt? I’m sure Jesus would like seeing you like that.”

My shoulders clench up tight, my brow furrows. All I can remember seeing is fucking red and actually trembling with fury. (This was happening in my pastor, D’s father’s, own living room mind you.) D was there watching as I blanched about ten shades of red in anger and embarrassed because that prick of an old man called me out in front of everyone. I turned to him and half shouted, “NO! I don’t!” I could see my pastor’s mouth drop to the floor as I began to completely obliterate this old man. But I couldn't stop myself as I started to further cut into him. “—I hate wearing skirts! I don’t feel ladylike! In fact, they make me feel vulnerable! What if some guy tries to rape me! They won’t have any problem getting to me!—Why is something with a whole on the bottom more ladylike than something that actually covers me?! I like pants! They are comfortable and they make me feel safe! Why is that a sin to wear something that is more covering?!?! I’m not cross dressing, my mom bought them in the girl’s session!! [Keep in mind that was a long time ago, I don’t feel like people should care about what section they get their clothes from, wear what you want] And what do you know about wearing a skirt?! You’re a man! You try wearing them! They suck! You need to stop telling me what I can and can’t wear! I’m not dressing like a whore for wearing something with a crotch!! SO LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Everyone in the living room was just stunned at my audacity to dare speak to this pastor like I did. But he was so fucking quiet after that. And I stormed out of the house and the guest pastor never spoke to me again about it. Luckily my mom came and picked me shortly after that. She was angry too after I told her what happened. That old fuck singled me out and I was pissed off. I was a teenager and that shit was embarrassing!

But I made the mistake of showing my true self. I think after that moment, D stopped liking me after that.

Some shit went down south with my parents behind closed doors of my household, and eventually they got divorced. They left the small church because the pastor didn’t approve of it. Pastor said that my parents just needed more counseling but he didn't understand that they just needed to not be together. Sometimes you can’t make things work. Especially when your dad is a toxic piece of shit that only cares about himself.

Anyways, everyone in my family left the church, but I stuck around that shit-hole just to see if D would ask me out. I was so desperate, I felt like I waited forever, but really it was like 2-3 years, and I felt like I couldn’t give up. Eventually D and I turned 16. He started to become distant and a little mean towards me and I became confused and started to realize the worst. Finally, I was tired of waiting so I asked his older sister if he liked me on the way back taking me home. I could see it in her face, that she didn’t want to have my heart broken, but reluctantly she told me no. He actually liked another girl at his new private school and was going to ask her parents to court her instead.

I was so devastated.... It hurt so much, I cried myself to sleep that night, and most of that week I was very sad.

Obviously, after that, I stopped going to church entirely, I couldn't show my face anymore. Finally let myself question my faith, sexuality, gender roles, and humanity all together. And realized that religion was stupid (in my opinion at the time) and I came u with the conclusion that people can be sheep. I was a sheep for a long time. And I refuse to be one ever again.

High school was very enjoyable after that, and I let myself grow and started to love other religions and world history, and tried to stop being so judgmental of others and what they felt like. I even got into a relationship with a sweet boy around my age.

Eventually in college, after a break-up with my high school sweetheart, I reconnected with D via FB. Apparently, the church went under and his parents moved away to Greece to be missionaries or something. D still lives in the same town I’m in, but graduated from a “Christian academy”—not Catholic, Christian. Catholic colleges are accredited at least. But he basically told me he was a secret “bad boy” now. He lost his virginity in highschool, (like I did) and he was totally trying to booty call me. Not even hiding it either! He was like, “Hey, Llama, you wanna fuck?”.

And I was like, “D! You broke my fucking heart when we were young! Don’t you remember that???”

And he was like, “Oh no! I had no idea! (the fuckin’ liar). Well, we can fuck now!~ *wink, wink*”

🤨

This is where I was a jerk.... Because he broke my heart. I led him on, told him I would meet up with him at his house to sleep with him, and just didn’t show up—ghosted him ever since. The worst part about that, is I still don’t regret doing that to him. I hope I hurt his feelings and felt like an ass like I did.

So years have passed, I consider myself as a rather successful woman now. I’m 27, I consider myself Buddhist (I am a terrible Buddhist I know), I am an Occupational Therapy Assistant and I have a great husband (I married the guy I was with in high school). And he loves the real me—the crazy closet weeb, cartoon watching, creative, expressive, me! The person who also writes fanfiction about a romance novel and he is fine with it. Because he is a huge nerd too and we are both nerds together.

My husband is my best friend and I don’t know what I’d do without him. When I write about Rhemi and Muriel, I draw a lot of inspiration with our conversation we have and how relationship dynamics are and I think it makes the writing more authentic and makes them feel a bit more real.

I love my husband more than anything… So why do I keep dreaming about that stupid asshole that just liked the fake me? D was and always will be a total tool. He is like the basic bitch of a man. And yet I still find him creeping in my dreams and I try to cheat on my husband with him in them. I wake up feeling totally terrible and weird after them too. D is a terrible fucking person—the worst person you can be in my opinion—The kind of person why lies and tells people one thing, but hides the fact that he’s really just a nasty fuck boy. If you are one, just be honest! Don’t tell another woman you're a good christan man, when really you’ve slept with not just one, but multiple girls! That how you get fucking STDs! I hate being lied to, and I’m sure other girls do too! So I guess that’s why I do, because I felt like I was lied to my entire life. Then again, why should I even care?! Why do I feel like I still obsess over him? I hate him so much now! So why do I even care? Why do I still find myself stalking him on social media? Why does it even matter? Why do I want him to see I’m happy without him? Why do I want him to see what he could have had with me? We were just stupid teenagers! Why did I care so much? Why did it hurt so much when I found out he didn’t like me?! It’s been over a decade, and we didn’t even really date! Why did this affect me so hard? …. FUCK!

So yeah. That’s my long ass rant for you all… thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#story time #mad llama momma story #true story #weird dreams #why does my brain do this?#anybody relate?#does anyone get me?#vent post

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spongeekat · 4 years

Text

Life as a Super Powered Omega Sucks (Chapter 1)

read on ao3

Masterlist Here

Summary: Peter just got invited on his first lengthy Avengers mission, one that will prove whether he's fit to continue operating as a hero on the streets of New York. Unfortunately, he's also an omega disguised as a beta, and on the week of starting his heat. Unable to miss out on the mission for the sake of his future, he goes anyways, equipped with a dangerous quantity of heat suppressants and an optimistic outlook. However, he wasn't prepared to end up spending most of his time with Alpha and long term friend Wade. Will he survive the mission and get back in time to spend his heat at home? Or ruin his health and suppress his heat long enough that he can prove his worth to SHIELD and the Avengers?

Peter Parker wasn't exactly ashamed of being an omega. Sure, he hid his status like the plague- masking his scent with an artificial beta spray, using heat suppressants at any given chance, only going off them when it was guaranteed he had a free weekend to spare, and wearing clothes that highlighted his un-omega-like toned arms when he was feeling particularly insecure about it- but it wasn't out of fear of being seen as such. But if you needed a picture painted of why he chose to hide his biological assignment in lieu of presenting himself as neutral, the one word he could begin to create it with was ‘Alphas’.

Alphas secreted dominance with them wherever they went, leaving their cocky, charismatic scent all over public spaces. School was no different. From the days of 7th grade and up, when puberty started hitting Peter's classmates and kids were presenting left and right, the alphas took total control of the hallways. Big man Flash was the first to show clear signs of an alpha, and the rest of his crew of alphas and wannabee-betas fell right in line behind him. With the rise of Alpha-Beta and Beta-Beta relationships being accepted in society, omegas were far and few. Male omegas were even rarer, making up just 25% of the omega population. History taught the extremely fertile gender was previously discriminated against harshly by those that believed them to be nothing more than baby-making machines, and nearly eradicated, as only Alpha-Omega relationships could produce omegas. However,as the omega population went down, closely followed by birth rates, everyone had begun to realize the necessary role omegas played in re-population. As such, omegas were presently celebrated and respected; lusted after and worshiped by alphas and betas alike.

But that was mostly in their later years. Before alphas started to develop their sexual drive, they reveled in the chance to show their power over others, and omega girls tended to be their target. Peter saw kids shoved into lockers, thrown in trash cans, and pushed around on a daily basis. He’d only known 2 omega boys in his life, and the teasing had gotten so severe they eventually moved to homeschooling. Luckily, he hadn't presented, and when he reached 14, he was officially declared as a beta by the school nurse, giving him a pass to fly under the bully's radars at least a tiny bit more effectively.

Unfortunately, being born as the child of a purebred omega and a groomed Alpha such as Mary and Richard left you more susceptible to presenting than other children. So when Peter awoke when he was 17, a few years after he'd taken on the Spider-Man persona and met Mr Stark, sweating and clawing at his clammy skin mid-heat, he knew the universe was doing whatever it could to fuck him over. Besides just school bullies being an issue when it came to his identity, another major reason he had to conceal any evidence of his omega status was the fact that he was Spider-Man. Not only would he most definitely be looked down on by his enemies or perceived as weak, but with the Avengers hardly taking him seriously as it is, and police on high alert searching for an alpha with superhuman strength, he didn't want to risk losing any more respect from the public. He wasn't totally popular at the moment. Besides, being known as an omega, especially a male omega, publicly would narrow down the search quite a bit. What was he, one of 20,000 in all of New York City? Luckily, he'd been pretty successful in hiding it so far, even on days such as today when he was on the week of his heat and could feel the hormone changes already. There was some big-name-but-secretly-evil private investor from some big-name-but-sketchy company that had been quietly investing in illegal technology on the terrorist level, or at least that's what Peter had gathered so far. He always did have some trouble figuring out what Coulson was actually saying, especially when he was distracted by...everything. Particularly a shiny-- "And we can count on you for that, right, Spider-Man?" Oh yeah. That was him. "What? Yeah, yeah, of course." Peter flashed his biggest grin to show he had definitely been listening and not spacing out like the 20 year old kid he was, but Coulson obviously couldn't see it through the spandex of his mask. All intimidating and slightly patronizing pairs of eyes turned back to stare at him, and he felt himself melting into his seat in guilt. Coulson drew a long sigh, rubbed his temple, then turned back to the map projected on the screen. "So, to repeat for Spider-Man, this point of investigation on the building will be a stealth mission. We'll send Natasha and Steve to the ground floor to take out the heaviest of the security, and once they take notice of you, Spider-Man should have plenty of time to access the elevator shaft and descend to the bottom floor unnoticed. Once you're there, you need to find a way to get Tony in so he can disable the bombs placed on each level. That way, our agents can effectively infiltrate the premise with as little resistance as possible, end the weapons trade in Cabo, and place as many of the workers under arrest as we can.” Now Peter was a little confused, mostly by how he had spaced out all the way from the Russia plans to Mexico, but he was at least a little too proud to raise his hand and ask.

“We already have your escort ready for your portion of the mission, Spider-Man, so don’t worry about that piece. We’ve already made contact and he shall be there tomorrow when you depart.”

“I need an escort?” Peter earned an intense frown for his comment, and he shut himself up right away. “I mean, yeah. A-Okay with Me.”

“Intelligence gathering will begin tomorrow. Meet here at 4 for your flight. Yes, Clint, 4 in the morning. Don’t be late, and don’t forget to bring any supplies you may need for a mission that may take up to two weeks. The majority of your time in Russia will be spent on hold as back-up, in case something goes awry, until we make our move on their transportation facility once we’ve acquired enough data. Keep that in mind when packing. ” With that, Coulson officially ended the meeting and began to gather up what he had brought over. Peter was happy to escape, until he realized what exactly Coulson had said. Two weeks? No, there was no way he could be gone that long. His heat was due sometime around Friday, maybe Monday at latest. Tomorrow, Tuesday, at earliest. He couldn’t go on a trip with the Avengers when it was so close. That would be a story he would never live down.

“Yo, hey, Mr. Stark.”

“Kid.”

Peter side-stepped Captain America as he shuffled past, ending up in front of the man who had brought him into this line of business in the first place. He wasn't aware of Peter's omega status. Mr Stark hardly trusted him enough to allow him to be an Avenger in the first place, so Peter had hacked into Karen's programming with Ned's help to keep her from relaying omega-related health information to anyone else but himself. "Hey, uh, he said this mission was going on for 2 weeks?”

“Yep.” Mr Stark answered as he shoved his expensive tablet into its case, depositing it in his bag. “Homework standing in your way?”

“No, no, that’d be totally uncool.” Peter mentally crossed that off his list of excuses he had prepared. “I just don’t know if I can like...keep my cover that long. I have a lot of people that expect to see me every day. I don’t think the flu will work again.”

“Then use the Stark Internship papers I signed.” Mr Stark sighed thickly, turning to face Peter with an impatient expression. Peter internally cringed, able to see the extra stress he’d been under reflected on his face. He was five seconds from being scolded. He could feel it like a truck about to run him over. “Tell them you’re going on a school trip. Use my card and book hotels for proof. Figure it out. You’ve known since yesterday it was this long.”

“I...you’re right.” Peter relented. Guess there was no helping it, then. He’d just have to make sure to make the mission went by fast. And bring as many heat suppressants as possible, no matter how ineffective they were on him. “Sorry. I’ll get it sorted.”

“Good. This is your chance to prove we can trust you as a part of this team.” Mr Stark continued, walking past Peter and towards the door. Peter kept up with him easily, shadowing him through the hallways of the tower. “You’re young, and that’s kept SHIELD off your back for years. Don’t let this mission be the reason you have to give up everything you’ve worked towards.”

“It’s that important?”

“It’s that important.” Mr Stark repeated back.

Peter hadn’t even begun to consider this may be some sort of test to allow him to continue to operate in New York without proper jurisdiction. However, that made sense. Why else would an entire important section of the mission be dedicated to him? Or at least he assumed it was important. He wasn’t paying attention during the rest to find out what anyone else was doing. In fact, what was the goal of their mission again-- ?

Mr Stark’s shoulder came up close to Peter’s face too fast,and he realized too late he had stopped walking. He barely managed to catch himself before he rammed into the taller man from behind, taking an uncomfortable step back. Mr Stark turned to face him with a suspicious expression, slight worry maybe-possibly mixed in there somewhere. “You’ve been acting weird since yesterday.”

Peter swallowed. Pre-heat brain. But he couldn’t say that. “I guess so? It’s probably just because I’m around all of you guys and-”

“Cut the crap. What’s up? Why are you so determined not to go?” Mr Stark eyed him, as if he could see through his facade if he stared long enough. “Are you hurt?”

“What? No, I’m fine. Totally good.” Peter insisted, only realizing his missed opportunity once it was too late. “I think I’m just tired. I’ll make sure not to stay out too late tonight for patrol.”

“Maybe stay home and sleep the entire night. I’m sure New York will survive for a night.” Mr Stark still didn’t look like he believed him, and Peter almost preferred being ignored.

“I’ll think about it.” Peter agreed, though there was no way that was going to happen when he was already going to be gone for an extensive period of time. “Anyways, thanks for the talk. I should really get working on my excuses and alibis and stuff.”

“Right. Try to take it easy.”

“Will do.”

Peter peeled out of the conversation before Mr Stark could press it any further. He sprinted through the hallways of Stark Towers, pushing on each window until he found the one that was actually able to be opened at this height, indicated by a small rush of wind detectable only to his sensitive ears. His gloved hands pressed lightly on the surface, letting the glass pane swing out after some resistance. Peter crawled up onto the sill, his path home highlighted between the numerous skyscrapers littered along the streets. The cars honking below gave a rise to his adrenaline, and then he was falling, leaping from the building to give himself enough distance not to hit the wall, but free-falling like a bullet through the wind. 10 stories or so down he finally caught his fall, webs shooting out from both wrists with a distinct thwip . His arms jolted at the end of his dissent, before he was soaring again through the air, waiting until the last second possible before he would let another strand sail out and grip onto a pole or a ledge. All the while, calculations of heat suppressants and calendar days ate through his brain. He was sure this mission was just going to last a couple days, and the 2 weeks warning was just precautionary. They’d be in and out within a few days, and he’d be home and in bed by Saturday at the latest. They were the Avengers! It didn’t take that long for these kinds of things.

Probably.

"Hey Karen?"

"Yes, Peter?"

"Falsify a good health report if Mr Stark tries to check on me. Also, can you tell me how much is in my bank account? Suppressants are pretty expensive."

"Of Course, Peter." Karen responded, making Peter smile as he felt slightly less alone. "I believe you have about 3 doses remaining at home, and can afford a pack of 12 from the budget pharmacy in Northwest Queens."

Shit. "Thanks, Karen." Peter would just have to make do somehow.

Peter was not awake, by any means, the next morning.

He had followed Mr Stark’s advice and passed out before midnight. However, that still meant he only got a few hours in before he had to be up and packed by 3. He shoved a few days of civvies into a bag, rolled up tightly to conserve space, basic toiletries and underwear, and of course packed the rest of the space with necessary tools in case he got unlucky enough to end up in heat; a week’s worth of heat suppressants (enough for a normal metabolism to last a month, but he was unlucky enough to burn through a day’s worth in a few hours), 2 bottles of faux scent to mask his, and anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off if he was in a difficult spot. With that, he snuck a quiet breakfast and left Aunt May a note, before taking off with toast in his mouth towards the hangar he was told to meet in.

Peter was surprised to find himself to be the only one in full uniform. Mr Stark had his suitcase in hand but had made no attempt to wear it even partway, Steve had on sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt, in similar style to Sam, though his wing containment unit was in his arms, Clint hadn’t even changed out of his pajamas, but he did wear his bow over his back, and Natasha was in her bodysuit without any of her normal accessories layered on. They were still waiting for Peter’s supposed stealth mission escort, as well as Scott Lang, but otherwise Peter felt quite out of place.

“Don’t tell me you’re a morning person, too.” Clint walked in front of Peter, eyeing his suit with a yawn that made him look half-asleep still. “Sam and Steve exhaust me even thinking about waking up this early. I can’t be the only one thinking this is ungodly torture.”

“I’m running on pure adrenaline right now. I only got a nap in last night.” Peter admitted in a low voice, stretching to work the soreness out of his muscles. Usually he could sleep in short spurts and still have some energy for the day. Today, however, his body decided to try to shut down every 5 minutes and force him into a coma. “Honestly, I hope this plane ride is long enough to get a couple extra hours in-”

“I KNEW OUR LOVE WOULD PREVAIL.”

“Oh no.” Peter blanched, and didn’t even dare turn around. “Please tell me it’s not who I think it is.”

“No one told you?” Clint tsked, giving Peter a pitying look. “Yeah, sorry. He’s the only one we felt complimented your skills enough to be your escort.”

“Spidey, we’re finally official teammates! Or I guess I’m more like your babysitter. That just takes all the sex-appeal out of it. Ooh, wait. I’ll be the professor, and you can be my favorite student I give after school lessons to.”

“Please tell me this is a joke.” Peter swallowed hard, able to smell the alpha behind him from where he stood. Apparently he was the only one that noticed how intense of a scent the man carried with him, as no one else seemed as repulsed by the air.

“Sorry, dude. Can’t always get what you want.” Clint threw Peter a grin that was so smug he wanted to wipe it off his face. However, he made a mental note not to try to attack any of his teammates no matter the situation, and turned to face his battle head-on. Clint passed by the red-clad newcomer with a short, but crisp, high five, and gave the spider one last wiggle of his fingers. What a jerk.

“Heeeey, Deadpool.”

“I thought they were kidding when they said you were on this mission.” The mercenary - or ‘in the process of retiring from murder’ mercenary- crossed the distance on the roof, standing inches above Peter. He wasn’t intimidating, however. More like… a giant, annoying man-child.

Who Peter also happened to be sort of really good friends with. Like, to the point they played video games maskless at Wade’s Manhattan safe house and split pizzas when on patrol. And Deadpool knew his name and face. But he wasn't Peter's first pick to accompany him on a mission Peter was trying to prove that he was mature enough to be on.

“Ouch.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with you, Pumpkin. But you gotta admit, if I get asked to join in on missions before you, something seriously needs to change about your job performance.”

“Pretty sure they only brought you along as a bullet shield. So you could distract the bad guys with your giant mouth.” Peter shot back, though all in good humor.

Wade made a dramatic gasp, one gloved hand shooting up to cover his lips in true theatrical fashion. “I guess it’s good my kink is getting used.”

“That’s...A weird kink to have.”

“Does it turn you on?”

“Not at all.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

“Hey, Tweedledee and Tweedledum.” Mr Stark’s voice sounded behind Peter, jarring them both from their banter. “Get ready to board.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Wade saluted in response, then glanced back down at Peter. “You’re sitting by me, right?”

“Definitely not.”

“Awww, Spidey!”

“Let’s go.” Natasha ordered, her head peeking out from the corner of the craft.

Wade threw out his hand with a gentlemanly “after you.” Peter, unable to resist a moment of humor and making Wade laugh, half-courtesy’d in return and made his way towards the short ladder leading into the plane.

The inside of an Avenger’s aircraft wasn’t anything like Peter had pictured. Being sponsored by a billionaire apparently didn’t reap the benefits of travelling in style; rather than being filled with alien tech, or super advanced spy technology, or even genuine leather seats, the inside of the plane was rather bland. It featured a cockpit illuminated with buttons and levers that Peter hadn’t the slightest clue their true intention, only slight privacy given to the designated pilots at the front. Behind that rested a computer Peter had to resist the urge not to immediately ask to study, as well as spaces in the sides for weapons and storage. The seats were spaced so that there were 8 passenger seats, stretching along the length of the plane. Peter situated himself in the back, close to the hatch they used for for entering. Somehow, having an escape route made him feel more secure than the claustrophobia he would feel trapped between two well-respected heroes. Or maybe he was just self conscious. Either way, he sat himself down as far from the others as he could get, and shoved his backpack in his lap.

Wade decided to take the spot right next to him, despite 3 other seats remaining open, and Natasha -looking as judgemental as ever- took the space across.

“The Itsy Bitsy Spider ran up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out!” Wade apparently became quite the comedian under pressure, pulling out his katana Bea - or maybe it was Arthur- to start sharpening the length. Both the spider-themed heroes gave him an irritated look, Peter a bit more disbelieving he would bother one of the scariest members of the team, before Natasha cleared her throat.

“I’m sure I could find a way to make sure you don’t come back from death, if you keep this up the entire ride there.” The ginger commented dryly, crossing her legs in a way that Peter felt he was a second away from witnessing Wade’s true demise

“That would be my lucky day, cupcake.” Wade grinned back, sliding his katana back into its holster. Despite his cool exterior, Peter knew he thought Natasha was hot shit that could beat him to a pulp. “I’m quaking in my suit. I don’t know if I’m scared, or excited, but probably both.”

Scott swiveled in the chair placed just in front of the computer he had claimed, the metal loudly squeaking to catch their attention. “I am not dealing with you two arguing for 12 hours.”

“15 hours.” Bruce mumbled, though he remained primarily focused on a notebook filled to the brim with incoherent scribbles.

“I am not listening to you arguing for 15 hours!” Scott corrected, folding his arms in a fatherly fashion.

“I don’t even remember you being invited, LadybugBoy.” Natasha’s subtle but annoyed comment instantly sent Wade into a fit of laughter, jolting her from her anger. The change of Wade’s attitude was just enough for her to relinquish her dangerous atmosphere for a moment, and she settled calmly back in her seat.

“It’s Ant-Man.” Scott mumbled indignantly, which only served to make Wade laugh harder. The ex-convict turned back to his computer to rest his head, and for once in his life Peter saw Natasha crack an expression similar to a grin.

The conversation seemed to settle their nerves, as well as at the 4 AM call time, because the Avengers grew completely silent within the hour. Clint dozed off first, followed by Bruce (after he injected himself with some tranquilizer he often kept with him), and Natasha dropped into some weird relaxation that was close to sleep, with her body still tensed and at the ready to fight at any time. Scott was still sulking by the time Peter felt himself start to fall asleep, a yawn being the first sign of his body begging for a nap. Wade seemed to notice immediately despite the mask, because a gloved leather hand wormed its way to the top of Peter’s head to try to pull him in to his shoulder. Peter didn’t budge, giving Wade a deadpanned look. “Dude.”

“What?” Wade asked innocently, his arm retreating back to his side.

“I’m not sleeping on you.”

“I am the best goddamn pillow you will ever use.”

“We’re on a plane with the Avengers.” Peter said in an awkward whisper as if it wasn’t obvious, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“You don’t have to be shy about our secret relationship, Spidey. I’ve already told everyone you’re my lo--”

“Friend.” Peter cut in, groaning and sitting back in his chair with a huff. He had to admit, the seats weren’t very comfortable, and his stomach was tight with anxiety. Talking with Deadpool was easing at least a little bit of the pressure.

“Friend with benefits. Just as exciting without the emotional attachment. I like your style.” Peter didn’t really have the energy to argue against Wade’s ramblings, so he just let his eyes slip shut and tried to focus on staying awake, figuring he could just rest his eyes for a few minutes. Eventually his body grew numb enough he was a little more comfortable, and the rest was doing wonders for his scattered brain and anxiety.

His eyes shot open again when they hit turbulence, and he realized he had been passed out for an extensive period of time. Long enough that nearly everyone was asleep, including Wade, who was passed out on Peter’s arm. Peter stared at him for a few minutes, trying to decide whether to push him away and save himself the embarrassment of anyone seeing, or let him continue to slumber to make up for the nights he’d let Peter stay over on his couch and eat his fridge dry.

He ended up choosing the latter after an extensive internal debate, though most of it was because his arm was completely asleep under the weight of his large head and leather mask, and he didn’t have the strength in it to push him away. It worked out fine in the end, once Peter had grown tired enough to fall back into sleep, when Wade’s head created a hard pillow for him to drop his cheek on. And that was how they spent their flight, until Wade roused and immediately started teasing Peter for falling asleep on him, to the point he got up and changed seats out of annoyance.

There was a reason Peter had said no to sitting by Wade. He was an asshole. Comfortable, but still an asshole.

#spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #abo #omega peter parker #alpha wade wilson #iron dad #marvel #fanfiction

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amys-snapshots · 4 years

Note

All of them for Cail 👀 fight me.

Yo 💀 This took ages, lol. But, I suppose I should thank ya because my mans has been somewhat of a mystery unintentionally.

1. Who do they look up to?

Cailean’s always aspired to be like his father: a good, honest, hard-working family man. So the obvious answer is his father.

2. Who do they look to for guidance?

Because his father has passed away, his mother. He also occasionally seeks counsel from his friends like Gus or Chad, and more recently, Aislyn. But if he still could, he’d go to his dad.

3. What would it take for them to betray the person they love?

Absolutely nothing. It’s not in Cailean’s nature to betray. Ironically, he himself has been betrayed by someone he loved, and had quite a tough time. It’s why he feels very strongly about secrets and lies.

4. Who is someone they’ve hurt?

My mans is a boy scout. He cherishes his relationships, romantic or otherwise, and is quick to apologize if he feels he’s done something wrong. He does, however, have a bad habit of cutting people out of his life if they’ve crossed him. And though those people deserve it, the action may have hurt them.

5. What is a secret that they have?

This would be considered a spoiler if I didn’t already mention it on here, but on the night Cailean’s father passed away they got into a fight. Cailean said something he regrets to him, and no one, not even his mother, knows about that whole situation. It’s something he’s ashamed of.

6. Would they trust anyone with their secret?

Yes; since it’s something that eats away at Cailean in the back of his mind, he wants to get it off of his chest eventually. And if/when he does, it will most likely be to the woman he loves - once that wall currently between them comes down.

7. Any family scandals? Does your character know about them?

Sort of. As his mother, Daphne, is the current police commissioner, there was an incident in which a newscaster did a piece accusing Mrs. DeCarlo of corruption. Cailean, and the rest of the town, were well aware of it, though it was ultimately unfounded.

8. Is there anyone that they currently aren’t speaking to? Why?

Yes. His ex-girlfriend, because of the aforementioned betrayal. What exactly it is that she did shall come up at a later time.

9. What is something that would break them emotionally?

If he were to tragically lose his mother as he had his dad. Cailean’s an only child, and as most of his relatives live out of the country, he’d feel quite lonely. Because his mother’s line of work is so dangerous, the thought is something that sadly crosses his mind from time to time.

10. Sacrifice the one to save many, or save the one no matter the cost?

Because a lot of the people in Cailean’s life are extremely selfless, he’d probably feel compelled to do whatever it takes for them because he knows they wouldn’t do so for themselves. So he’d save the one, no matter the cost.

11. Do they have any illnesses?

Nope.

12. What is the fastest way to upset them?

Lie. So ironic considering who he’s dating, I know.

13. What is something that makes them uncomfortable?

Cailean’s pretty comfortable discussing everything; he doesn’t shy away from discussing aspirations and fears. The only thing that causes him to tense up are a handful of specific incidents involving his parents; his father’s accident and mother’s scandal being some of them. He won’t flat out refuse to discuss them, but he will be initially uncomfortable at the conversation before relaxing the longer he talks.

14. What is something that never fails to make them excited?

Whether it be a new piece of equipment, or a new scenic location he can take photos in, anything related to photography will put Cailean in very high spirits.

15. Have they ever had their hair washed by another person?

As his buddy Chad is a hair stylist, he’s had his hair washed, cut, and styled for him before. He doesn’t experiment much with his look though.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone has done for them?

Recently, Aislyn took it upon herself to surprise him for his birthday and Valentine’s Day. She made him a home cooked meal, they watched a movie, and he received several gifts. Cailean doesn’t care much for overly grandiose, expensive, gestures, and finds meaning in the littlest of things so suffice to say, he was very touched.

17. Who is their favorite person(s) to spend time with?

Aislyn. Despite her rather frustrating tendencies, they have a lot of common interests which makes their conversations often lengthy and always enjoyable.

18. Neck kisses or shoulder kisses?

Neck kisses.

19. How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Cailean doesn’t mind or shy away from them. He won’t hesitate to reach for a hand, or go in for a kiss towards whomever he’s dating, regardless of who’s around or where they are.

20. Would they be the one to propose, the one hoping for a proposal, or no interest in marriage/the equivalent thereof?

Cailean’s very into the prospect of getting married and having a family. Once he feels he, and his partner, are at a place where they’re ready for it, he won’t hesitate to propose.

21. Do they prefer giving or receiving gifts?

Giving. Aside from birthday presents, Cailean’s quite bashful about receiving things, especially if he feels he hasn’t done anything to deserve it. On the other hand, he’s quick to buy things for others. He often thinks of his friends and family, and tends to buy things he knows they’d like, or things that just remind him of them.

22. How indecisive are they?

Not at all; he knows what he wants and what he likes.

23. What do they want most in life?

A family, and to be a father. He’d love to have a lot of kids - if his future wife is capable and on board, of course.

24. What do they think they’re good at, but aren’t?

Cailean’s very self-aware. He knows his strengths and weaknesses, and doesn’t pretend to be confident in something he knows he’s no good at.

25. What is something they think they’re bad at, but are actually pretty competent at?

Painting. Because Cailean takes so many pictures of real life settings, he thinks his paintings pale in comparison to nature’s beauty, but in reality, he’s not that bad.

26. What is something they’re legitimately bad at?

Anything music-related, whether it be remembering lyrics, playing an instrument or singing, he’s very aware that he’s not a musician by any means. Except for dancing, that he’s alright at.

27. Do they have any cool scar stories?

Nah, his body is bare, lol.

28. When left to their own devices, how would they spend a free day?

On a free day, Cailean would tinker with his camera, pack a picnic basket, invite out his girlfriend, and go out to a remote location with a pretty view or landscape. He’d spend the day photographing her, the scenery, and the changing sky.

29. What do they do to relax?

To unwind he’ll read a novel, or eat sweets.

30. What is their ideal sleeping situation?

On his side, preferably being big spoon, hehe.

31. Do they have a comfort food?

Cailean has a sweet tooth, so he enjoys anything warm and rich. He’d particularly enjoy chocolate pecan pie with vanilla bean ice cream.

32. What is their favorite thing to drink?

As he is Italiano, the obvious answer is coffee in various forms.

33. Do they have a signature accessory?

As of now, no.

34. How do they generally wear their hair?

On the longer side, but short of being considered medium length. At home he lets it hang loose, and at work or on a day out, he styles it back with some pomade.

35. What color would they paint their nails?

As he is a guy, he doesn’t - not to reinforce gender norms - but if he did, he’d probably put something blue like the sky and ocean he enjoys looking at so much.

36. Are there any holidays or celebrations they dislike?

Nope, the DeCarlos are all about family time and celebrations.

37. Are there any holidays or celebrations that they go all in for?

Thanksgiving. Cailean’s father has passed his culinary skills onto him, so you can expect him to prepare quite a colorful, flavorful, plentiful feast.

38. How would you describe their decorating sense?

Very rustic. Lots of wood and warm tones like orange, gold, brown and cream. Expect lots of lights, plants and paintings, as well as photographs taken by Cailean himself.

39. Would they rather have a picnic in the woods or a picnic on the beach

Cailean loves his trees and his oceans equally, so the winner will be the woods by a very slim margin because of the less populated setting; he enjoys some peace and quiet.

40. Blanket fort or tree house?

Tree house.

#thanks for the ask!#by question 24 i was ready to fight tho #i'm surprised to see you didn't go with J #but then again most of my answers would be spoilers and or redacted lol #asks

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coquitowcinnamon · 4 years

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something i haven’t done since 2009 (nobody asked and yet)

1: What eye color do you find sexiest?

honestly, for me, it’s more about the gaze itself, u kno?

2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?

café

3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

i would ask the person to draw over the one i have

4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

always lived in the metro area at home but its still an island so i guess both? and yes!

5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

my titi nitza

6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

papaya

7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?

i raised my hand when the teacher asked a question, got my turn and my dissociative ass just told everyone about how it was raining (this is a longer story)

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

i remember period stains were very common? i can’t remember much of these years

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

appreciated the sentiment but getting a giant teddy bear from someone that liked me (you would know i absolutely despise these)

10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?

pirates bc they get to travel more (at least in my head they do)

11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?

i have! there’s this tiny island where i live. my brother and i went for summer sometimes and i remember there was this very high tree all the kids climbed to watch the sunset.

12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?

i loved it. i liked to twist the whole thing and then let go to feel my hair moving. ngl i jumped on one today when i went for a walk

13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

i would have a dog. always wanted one and never could.

14: What’s your most favorite part of your body?

i like my hands

15: What’s your most favorite part of your personality?

do i have one? lol

16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?

both?

17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?

sad to say, yes, this year

18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?

see previous question

19: What’s the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten in your life?

some risotto with calamari at a tiny place close to where i lived in Madrid

20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?

butter and butter

21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 ½% milk?)

22: Which continents have you been on?

North America, South America and Europe

23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?

not really

24: Backpacks or satchels?

backpacks

25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?

all of them if i had them. my whole closet’s black

26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

it has to be between spongebob / fairly odd parents / teen titans

27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?

i wouldn’t </3

28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?

toronto

29: Longest plane ride you’ve ever been on?

sju to nyc to madrid

30: The latest you’ve ever slept?

2pm?

31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?

hell yeah

32: Do you pick at scabs?

when they itch tf doesnt everybody

33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?

all of them gimmie a salad

34: How far can you throw a baseball?

idk but i used to be quite good at softball

35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?

australia

36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?

all of em except nepalese. they’re all so goooooooooood yo

37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?

wherever as long as i can feel i’m testing myself

38: A relationship with love or one with sex?

bark bark BOTH

39: Do you eat enough vegetables?

i’d like to think i do

40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

i pass on horror, vouch for thrillers

41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?

heeeeeeeell yeah (discreetly tho lol)

42: Do you swear in front of your parents?

si puñeta

43: Coolest thing you’ve ever been for Halloween?

i was matilda and everybody could tell so that’s cool i think

44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?

platinum gray

45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?

neither :-)

46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.

lol yia

47: City or nature person?

both beech

48: Have you ever used something other than “makeup” as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

does glitter count?

49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you’re a guy?

damn right i CANT

50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!

i can be chill if needed

i can be loud if wanted

i love to bust a move anywhere i can

movies / series / coffee meet ups everyday

i like to think im a good friend

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littlebitoffanfic · 5 years

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Home Finally

Fandom: Texas Chainsaw Masscre Characters: Thomas, Luda, Charlie, Monty Relationship: Thomas/reader Request: Hey can you make a thomas hewitt story where Thomas and the reader grow up as childhood friends, but her parents force her to move to a boarding school or something. Thomas is heartbroken and before she leaves they share their feelings and a kiss. She leaves for years and comes back after a few years. She's a victim of a Texas gang that's caught in the Hewitts slaughter, Thomas pops a trunk and finds her inside. “I don’t want to go either.” You sobbed, pressing your hands over your eyes to try hide your tears. You had spent your whole life in Texas on the farm next to the Hewitt’s and while your family had never been the best, you loved your life. You attended school then would run home to see Thomas. But as you grew older, you had heard your parents talking. They thought that Texas, while nice, couldn’t offer you the job security and growth that you would need. They wanted to move away and send you to a college for ‘gifted’ youngsters. You cured your intelligence, knowing that if you had just played dumb, they wouldn’t want to take you away. At 16 years old, you were by far the brightest in the town with your nose in books. And Thomas, who was only a year older than you, was always by your side and eager to learn. The Hewitts had decided to home-school him, but that basically meant some maths and English in the morning then working on the land the rest of the day. But you were always there for each other. But now? You hated to think of your life without him. You weren’t by any means a social person and you highly doubted you could ever trust someone to the same extend that you trusted Thomas. Thomas had taken the news just as badly as you had. When his mother had told him, he had ran to find you, hoping it might be some sick joke. But he found you in the woods by a tree, crying. Thomas had fallen to his knees in front of you, instantly realising that it was true. You were leaving tomorrow. They had sprung it on you both in the hopes that it would be like ripping off a band aid. Your parents had spoken to Luda who had agreed to keep it in the dark until the night before. “This isn’t fair!” You shook your head, gasping for breath as you rocked back and forth. All Thomas could do was stare at you. He had never seen you like this. Your hands were trembling and the sobs raked through your body. He hated it. Thomas moved to gather you in his arms, pulling you against his chest to try comfort you. An intimate position that you were use to but made your heart race a little. The truth was, you loved him but he didn’t know. You had been so concerned with ruining the friendship you had with him that you didn’t want to confess your feelings to Thomas. But now, you might never get the chance. “Thomas?” you breath, lowering your hands to cuddle into his chest. Over the years, he had shot up compared to you. He now towered over your small stature. A soft grunt left his throat, as his arms wrapped around you. “I have to tell you something.” You breath, unable to believe you were about to tell him. “I love you.” You felt him freeze, his muscles tensing up as his breath caught in his throat. Pulling back from his chest as you look up to him, your eyes filled with tears as you felt a small bolt of fear at his response. Thomas couldn’t believe what he had heard. He hoped he hadn’t miss-heard you. Please god, let him not had miss-heard you. but then he saw your eyes. Years of friendship and trust meant he could read you easily. And yet, he had never had an inkling that you might… might return his feelings. And, now that he had heard it from you lips, he was unable to stop himself from closing the distance. Leaning down, Thomas pressed his lips to your own for the first time. You couldn’t quite believe he would have such confidence. You had always been the one to initiate everything. The first time, you had been the one to ask him to be your friend. You had ran up to his door and asked if he wanted to come out and play. He was always reserved and shy, a result of the bullying and taunting he had endured as a child. But never from you. You never cared about his skin, his face. You were just there with unconditional support and friendship. And Thomas loved you for that and everything you were. That night, you didn’t go home till well after sundown. You had had to rip yourself from Thomas’ arms as his mama called for him again and again. With tears, you said goodbye with a final confession of love again before turning and the two of you parted ways. Perhaps for the last time. -----time skip ------------------ You were far too gone. Dehydrated, starved and weak. You fought them every step, but they had no qualms in beating the fight out of you. They had kidnapped you in the hopes that your ‘wealthy family’ would pay them the ransom. After all, you had just graduated from a university known for its high fees. Your family had to be loaded, right? If only they had known your personal circumstances. Your parents were now dead. Having died in a nasty accident, you had received both compensation, their savings and the insurance that they had taken out years ago. You had used the money to send yourself to the best university on the best literacy courses because that was what you enjoyed. You wanted to write. However, they wouldn’t listen that your parents were dead. They were convinced the money would never come from someone as young as yourself. You closed your eyes, thinking about the account you had. You had more than enough money to pay the ransom if they would just listen to you. But now? You were sure they had figured out no money would come to them. You were glad you had written a will, donating some money to a charity for young people and the rest was to be given to the Hewitts if they still lived at the same house. Your mind flashed back to the white house. If only you had visited them before you had been kidnapped. After your parents died, you couldn’t find it in yourself to go back. What if they had moved? Or something had happened to Thomas. For some reason, the thought that they might be there was easier to live with than the knowledge that they weren’t. You had finally found the courage to return but the second you got into Texas, they had followed you. You had been so close. It was meant to be a normal mugging, but then they noticed your diploma and the name of the University in a box in your boot. And they had taken you. You had just wanted to see him again. Thomas flashed through your mind. The one man you had never forgotten. The one whos face was in most of your dreams at night and daydreams in the day. You wondered if he ever thought of you. You drifted in and out of consciousness, barely able to see anything. You could feel the rough binds on your hands and ankles. It was dark out, otherwise you would be able to see a little of the boot. The tail light was busted from where you had kicked it out, but you had received a few punches to the face for that. They had sneered at you, telling you there was no one in this part of Texas before forcing you back into the boot. But Charlie had always told you to do that if you were ever in this sort of situation. At least it allowed some fresh air in the boot during the day but the nights were certainly colder. Suddenly, you were fully awake as a bright light shone through the boot. Someone’s head lights. They must have had then off, then turned them on when they were close to the car. You heard swearing from the gang and red and blue lights rotated. Police? You tried to move but you were too weak. Crying against your binds, your mouth taped shut. The car then sped up as they tried to outrun the police car. The road was bumpy and you were throw around like luggage in the trunk. They weaved and lost control. you don’t know what happened, weather they tried to do a turn or if they hit the curb, but the car then hurtled through the air, rolling four or five times before it landed up right again. Cursing and groans from the men told you they were injured and, while you had certainly taken a beating as well, you were in a confined space while you doubted they had worn seatbelts. footsteps approached the wrecked car and you heard the door out. “GET OUT!” A voice, a familiar voice cried out as you heard something thump on the groan which was followed by a yelp of pain. That voice. You remembered it. -----------flash back --------------- “God damn it, woman.” Charlie thumped his fist on the side in frustration at his sister. “You should have taken the red handkerchief out the pocket. I didn’t know.” She snapped, holding up the now pink shirt. Well, shirts. All 5 of them had been dyed. You and Thomas, 13 and 14 years old, peaked around the corner as you tried to stifle your laughter. You couldn’t imagine Charlie to wear pink and the thought made you and Thomas nearly cry with laughter. “I’ll give you two something to laugh at!” Charlie screamed in your direction and one of the shirts was thrown at the door way. You broke, howling with laughter as Thomas grabbed your hand and dragged you away as footsteps stormed towards the door. “It goes well with your eyes.” You managed to gasp out between laughter. “GET OUT!” Charlie screamed after you both as he picked the shirt up again, balled it up and threw it after you both. But Thomas had managed to get you out the front door and the two of you collapsed on the front porch in fits of giggles. Luda chucked from the kitchen and even Charlie, who was still raging, couldn’t help but smile if only for a moment. Charlie? your head was buzzing, and you were dazed and dizzy, but you couldn’t had forgotten that voice or imagined it. You heard babbling from the men. Something else was going on. raising both your hands, you managed to rip the tape from your lips with a cry. That cry made the men outside fall silent as you gasped for air and let out another broken cry. Your body ached and you were almost about to give up. If this was your last hope, you couldn’t lose it. “Tommy, go check.” This time, he didn’t demand it. In fact, he sounded almost fearful. Before your mind could process the nickname used by his uncle, the sound of the trunk being opened made you jump. As it swung open, you felt your heart stop in your chest. A man towered over the boot. The light from the police car behind was too bright for you to see his face as well as your eyes struggling to adjust. you blinked, trying to see if it could be him. “Thomas?” You breathed, your eyes filling with tears. You heard some sounds from the front of the car, but you couldn’t make out what was being said. You were too concentrated on the man. He put something down with a thud before he scooped you up into his arms. Lifting you out of the boot, he held you like a bride as he turned towards the police car. In that moment, you saw his eyes. Despite the mask he wore, you could recognise his eyes anywhere. You let out a soft cry of joy as you couldn’t help but smile at him. Reaching up with your bound hands, you slowly removed the mask. You were too far gone to question what it was made of. But it was Thomas nonetheless. His features had matured, with a stronger jawline but the condition had claimed his nose as you had thought. Not that you cared. You had never cared. Leaning forward, you press your forehead to his own, clutching the collar of his shirt as his mask dropped onto your lap. Thomas let out a trembling breath as he felt your skin touch his own, his arms shaking a little as his heart hammered in his chest. his eyes remained open while yours had closed at the contact. When you pulled back, he immediately walked to the police car which had both the driver and back passenger door open. He kneeled down and carefully placed you on the back seat. You could sense all four of your captors and possibly Charlie were watching what was happening but you didn’t care. Thomas pulled a small switch blade from his pocket and used it to free your hands and feet from the binds. He reached into the front and pulled a cop jacket over, covering you with it. You offered the mask back to him, a small rush of sadness filled you that he still wore masks but then again, you could see how bad his skin was. He reached out, taking it and pulling it back over his head. He took your hand and gave you the switch blade, closing both his hands around your own in a silent plea to use it if you needed to. “Is it her?” Charlie called, turning your attention back to the car. You looked out through the front windscreen and saw Charlie. He stood in a Sheriffs shirt and hat with his gun drawn. Only three of the men where kneeling on the ground outside the car. Their faces and bodies had been bloodied from the car rolling but they looked more fearful of Charlie and Thomas. Then you saw the fourth. He had been thrown from the car during the tumble and his body was lying in the grass, not moving. But judging by the way his neck was twisted, he would never wake. Your eyes moved to the boot and what was now on the floor in front of it, the thing Thomas had put down before picking you up. A chainsaw. Thomas stood up and turned to his uncle. With a single nod, the fate of the gang was sealed. Thomas closed over the door, giving you a slightly fearful glance before walking back to the group. You sat back in your seat, your head starting to become too much for you to bare. Closing your eyes, your mind pulled you in and out of consciousness again. But this time, you felt safe. Occasionally, you opened your eyes. First, you had seen one of the men attempting to run but Charlie shot him in the back of the leg. Second, you had seen them being hauled into the boot of the sheriffs car. you wondered if three men could fit into the boot. But judging by the slight shaking of the car, they were making them fit. thirdly was when you felt the car moving. Thomas and Charlie sat in the front. You could see Charlies had were shaking as he glanced back at you. “Don’t worry, girl. We found yah.” He mumbled, pulling away from the wrecked car. The last time was when you heard Luda voice. This time, you couldn’t open your eyes, but you could feel Thomas had picked you up again and was carrying you somewhere. The familiar smell of the Hewits made you feel like you were home again. Part of your mind wondered if you were just hallucinating. Another part said you had died and this was your version of heaven. You weren’t going to argue either way. You heard Ludas voice as she let out a soft and muffled cry. “put her upstairs. Yes, back in her room. Make sure shes comfy and I’ll be right up!” Her foot steps hurried away. you heard Thomas’ footsteps as he climbed the stairs and took you into a room. You felt him lower you onto a soft mattress, his fingers brushing some hair out of your face. “Ive missed you, Thomas.” You breathe. There was a soft groan and you felt Thomas take your hand. He pressed a kiss to your fingers and you were able to feel him nod as he did so. He had missed you. that was the last thing you remembered before passing out. --------------------------------------------- In the following days, you would find out exactly what had happened. Your car had been dumped near Ludas shop. She had seen it while putting some trash in a bin. As she dug through the possessions, she found your name on things and the photo album that was filled with your photos and some of the Hewitts. They had realized what had happened. And they knew who would have taken you. The gang which had tried to take over the area. But this was Hewitt land. And they didn’t take lightly to your kidnap. You were told of their eating habits, of the people who came into the house and never left. They told you everything. And you accepted it. In truth, you were just grateful to finally be home. In a moment, you fell right back into the life you had left. Luda fussed over you like your mother hand. Monty took a more fatherly approach while Charlie was more of a drunk but fun uncle. And Thomas. He was always there, by your side. He made sure you were well and happy. In truth, he was so blessed to have you back that he wouldn’t do anything that might make you leave again. It all fell into place when, one evening, you were sitting out on the porch. Thomas came out, taking off the bloodied apron as he sat beside you. An arm slipped around your waist and you were pulled again his side. you instantly giggled, cuddling into his side as you sat and watched the sun set. You were home finally.

#Texas Chainsaw Massacre #tcm #Thomas Hewitt/reader #Thomas Hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #leatherface #leatherface x reader

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steve0discusses · 5 years

Text

Yugioh Season Zero: Yuugi Gets a Tomagachi Pt 2

So because I spent like...weeks away from Yugioh I recently decided to kinda review what was even going on in this show, and so, as I was quickly going through my own recaps this week while putting this Season Zero episode together, I was reminded about this observation I made so innocently so long ago.

I keep making jokes with this show and then the jokes end up being real. Like it just keeps happening, so I don’t know why I bother trying to dive so far into the hypothetical thinking “Yugioh would never possibly do this” but...I’ll keep trying.

So, lets see just how dangerous a Season Zero Tomagachi can be. (v bad)

So about 3-4 days have passed since Honda left school for maternity leave despite the fact he is a 14 yo biological male and was never pregnant. I’m glad he’s here to break gender norms and I’m glad that the teacher has just accepted this.

Anzu has decided it’s time for an intervention and thinks, “if I can talk sense into Yuugi occasionally, maybe I can talk some sense into this purple haired alien that we’re also friends with?”

Miho, I swear.

(read more under the cut)

Yuugi has decided to show off his digital pet, which looks a whole lot like the Olympics mascot from 1996.

Izzy. That was the name of the Olympics mascot from 1996. I got the stuffed animal of him for my birthday and that’s the only reason I remember this weird ass 90′s fact.

I do not like the weird bangs that are Tomagachi arms, and it says a lot about the volume of Yugi’s bangs that they could have tiny arms attached to all those little bangs and it would...match up.

Now I watched a dubbed version done by English voice actors (hence why I’m getting all these names wrong) and I figured, I may as well take you on the same journey I went through watching this episode, starting with the name of Yuugi’s pet here.

Some of you, who know every single thing about Yugioh, are right now like “oh girl, do you not even see how you’re getting played all over again? Do you not realize what you JUST walked into?” and don’t worry, we’ll get there. But first, I have to go through this entire episode. Don’t worry, I’ll address the elephant in the room shaped like “the Joshua Tree” but with bangs that are hands.

(if you are too young to know about the lore behind U+Me=Us, then please look it up and listen to their entire discography and know that we were so hardcore about U+Me=Us that, for a very little while, they topped TRL over Destiny’s Child and Britney Spears)

And so they decide to do the very awkward fusion thing where you slap the butts of these Tomagachis together, but Jounouchi’s tomagachi is way too tsundere to date.

Anyway, in walks this boyman who I think gets bigger and bigger every scene he is in, like Violet Beauregarde. I mean...the door is...only so big. One of y’all brought up in the comments (I think gingerninja) that his name means “whale” in Japanese. Indeed he is.

He decides to show us his shiny golden pet, and remember this is 1999, so here’s some...1999 technology alright.

Dear lord, never draw these nips again.

Just...never again.

This is just...

How is this the only post I’ve made in months that hasn’t been flagged?

...Anyways, Kujirada’s monster, instead of going on awkward play dates, just kind of devours whoever he goes up against in a battle. It’s sort of confusing though because like...the same process for battle is the same as for this weird social network/dating scene.

Like there was absolutely no battle system until just now, when this thing started eating other people’s little monsters.

RIP Johnny and Somomo, who we knew for like all of 4 seconds. Truly one of the most devastating blows of Yugioh lore to see the death of these little monster assholes that have consumed all the time that these kids should have spent studying/actually attending school.

And then, our hero arrives and he’s a freakin mess because he hasn’t slept in 3 days.

And I was fully expecting for Honda to also lose and gain a valuable lesson in how to better use his time. I was waiting for Yuugi to pull out his little pet and go through a whole transformation sequence right here and now. But, something impossible happened.

I can’t believe the episode is already over and it was Honda that won. You heard it here first, kids, always skip school for video games, the Yugioh way.

I mean...kudos to Honda, I guess. I’m just really surprised he won something. I mean, the last time I saw him play a game he full on died by being tossed into a pit of lava and then he got turned into a robotic monkey for like 12 episodes.

Haiyama, meanwhile, did not take this very well, since he was the one from the bathroom who was being coerced into giving money to Kujirada in order for Kujirada to buy the golden pet, who just lost within a day of buying it.

As Haiyama leaves, we kind of assume that Haiyama is about to get his ass kicked in, because he’s small and cute and wears glasses, and this is Yugioh Season Zero, and those are all the things required to get your ass kicked in.

When just...everything starts to get really, really weird.

Also, this happened,

And FYI whenever I do these Season Zero episodes, I also look into the other translations on Youtube and the one I looked at seems to have also noticed that the Warehouse situation in Yugioh has gotten a little bit out of hand.

Ah, I see what you did there, random Youtube guy. I mean I love the abandoned warehouse, personally, he’s a core actor in this show. But yes, I do see how it’s turning into a little tiny bit of a meme.

Hilariously, Kujirada makes sure to run directly past Yuugi on his way to the abandoned warehouse district while carrying this girl in a sack over his back.

It is the middle of the freakin day.

So you’ve probably guessed the main twist by now, mostly because of the lack of characters, but as Tristan comes to the end of this warehouse, out steps our very large 3 Stooges boy who keels over and is...entirely covered in bloody lashes????

For your consideration--Haiyama has the yellow glasses and this face type, yes? and Kujirada has the hair? You stick the two together and remove entirely the problematic whipping sequence and you have yourself a

Of course I say this and maybe Weevil is also in S0 and Haiyama is just his own type of nut.

With a whip for some reason. OMG why does this child have a bullwhip?

Also how on EARTH did he manage to get Miho all the way up there???

So Haiyama explains, while pulling out a photo album of just tons of people in it, a comically large photo album of people that I guess he just keeps in his butt pocket, that these were all the people who were doing dirty deeds for him in exchange for money. No idea how the hell Haiyama got all that money, but he likes to blow it all on what is essentially slavery because apparently once you get money from Haiyama, you’re stuck with Haiyama for life.

Like really there is so much gang imagery in this show, it’s like a big PSA of “Don’t Join a Gang, Kids! Or Your Classmate Will Whip You With a Bullwhip Until You Pass Out In an Abandoned Warehouse” and it’s like damn Yugioh fine, I wont, damn.

But like the whole murdery photo album was certainly something because uh--there were more people in there than Kujirada so it’s like...did they die? Did all those people die? Did you in fact murder all those people, Haiyama? Did you manage to kill all those people at age 14 like you’re some sort of Bakura? Like, it’s Yugioh, so I really am just assuming they died but like...can’t add it to the death count until they outright say, right?

And then Yuugi’s timing was pretty excellent.

colorist kinda messed up on Yuugi’s teeth here. It happens. Cartoons are hella hard to make so we’ll give it a pass.

The TRAJECTORY.

Haiyama then decides to point out to Honda that Miho is essentially using Honda like he uses Kujirada and that was...kind of cathartic for me, actually. Thank you, villain, for recognizing that this whole Miho obsession thing is uhhhh kind of wrong. I guess we’ll see if the fact that Haiyama pointed this out to Honda will actually stick or if Honda will forget it by next episode.

Although, in Miho’s defense, she may be too stupid to know that she’s actually using Honda. She may just be that stupid. I honestly can’t tell what her deal is at this time.

But then Haiyama decides to try and extend the great offer to Honda of being whipped and manipulated for the rest of his life in exchange for keeping Miho alive, which um. Wow Yugioh, this is a 14 year old kid. Wow, that’s some dark stuff wow, this basically serial murderer has just been hanging out in the back of their class for their what we assume is their whole lives, and NO ONE NOTICED?

Like again, this entire class is just...they gotta be plants. There’s gotta be at least 3 people in this class being made in test tubes underneath Domino by Gendo Ikari, there’s just no way they aren’t.

And what’s crazy about Zero vs the rest of Yugioh is that in Zero they just happened upon a freakin maniac. They didn’t like...search this guy out, or enter a contest that they knew was freakin cursed. No, they just wanted to play with a Tamagachi. That was it. Instead, they found out that their one classmate has been abusing their other classmate to the point of hospitalization for the past several years.

They just wanted to play with a Tomagachi.

After that, Yugi had a fun intro sequence into Yami Yugi where a beam of light expanded across his face from the middle and that was actually a very nice effect 10/10 I can’t actually cap the animation but you can trust me. For a low budget thing that this season appears to be, that was a nice low budget way to do a good effect.

(seriously, if Yuugi lived a normal life would he have ever known he was cursed? Would Pharaoh have ever woken up at all?)

Honda at this point passed out due to the constant whipping, which is very surprising because I’m so used to Tristan, who once threw Double Spike Mullet Man over his shoulders. Honda is kind of a weakling in comparison.

So, Yuugi looks down at this device with a little monster in it and is like “yo I have a great idea, lets make the monsters fight eachother” and so we got like...a Yugioh meets Pokemon aesthetic, and FYI Yuugi’s monster still has the weird hand bangs. It’s...it still looks like that.

And, turns out the kick that Jounouchi’s monster gave to Yuugi’s monster made Yuugi’s monster learn how to hate, enough to gain a new power.

...so, in the end, Yuugi spent a really long time making his monster just a very nice guy, and would have absolutely lost if Jounouchi’s tomagachi hadn’t kicked Yuugi’s tomagachi’s ass. I guess that’s symbolic.

PS never forget that these are Tomagachi’s with a 20-50 pixel screen.

and there you are, Haiyama eaten by his own Tamagachi.

Yuugi was like “and THAT’s why you don’t whip the people who are your pets. You treat your pets with love.” and it was like wtf that guy was devoured by his own Tamagachi.

And then you think about it a second later and it’s like “WTF YUUGI. Yuugi. That’s still not a very good message.” And like I figured...this is probably a translation error that they accidentally made Yugi seem like he was cool with using people so long as you’re nice about it, but it was in the other version I watched as well so I think the real desired meaning just...didn’t quite make it to the final draft. I hope.

Straight up, this episode would have scared me absolutely to death while I was still in the Tomagachi craze and feeling very guilty about not taking care of them. Like can you imagine just killing your Tamagachi over, and over when you’re 10 and then watching this episode? Like Gremlins did irreparable damage to me as a kid, can you imagine what this episode would have done?

This guy was devoured by a Tomagachi and Yuugi just watched.

Don’t worry, Miho says “momma” here so she is still about as blase towards Honda as ever.

They did pan down to show us that Haiyama is still alive after this whole event. Of course he’s...passed out so he’ll probably just end up in the hospital wing in Domino they’ve reserved for Yuugi’s classmates.

...Eaten by a tamagachi.

Now, a little bit of story time, in the process of putting these caps together, I figured well after the fact that I should, youknow, go and check on the spelling of all of these characters (because again, I watch the dub so I have no subs to tell me how things are spelled) and the sub version had omitted quite a bit of the episode, including the parts where Yuugi says his pet’s name.

...so I was like...is Yuugi’s pet named Yuutou or Yuutsu? And surprisingly enough, when I typed into Google “what is the name of Yugi’s tamagachi” ...

DAMN IT, YUGIOH.

HE REALLY DID CANONICALLY NAME HIS PET U2!

Freakin U2. SPELLED LIKE IT LOOKS LIKE.

That makes no freakin sense, whatsoever. Yuugi is the type of person who listens to weird grungy alternative from whatever local show his weird anti-establishment cousin tells him about and would just--I mean he has so many accessories and eyeliner, he does not put in his Mom’s CD of U2 and drift off, no, he puts in a burnt CD of early Radiohead while he spends 2 hours dying his bangs in the sink. There is no universe, let it be Season Zero or Season whatever where Yuugi acknowledges U2.

I can’t believe this is Canon.

I just...Wow. U2.

U2.

Y’all I am shook that Yuugi is a closet U2 fan.

FYI, I have been listening to U2 for the entire time I’ve typed this. I mean, Pride is a good jam.

Anyways, I know none of you that are too young to know 2gether looked this up when I mentioned it earlier, so here you go, one of the best worst songs ever made. In case you were wondering what I was busy doing as a young tween instead of having a Yugioh phase.

youtube

#Yugioh #ygo #Yugioh season zero #tomogatchi #yuugi muto #jounouchi #honda #anzu #miho #U2 #this episode was mad effed up wow #I mean damn that was um #that whole thing with the freakin whip just came out of nowhere huh #tw blood #tw whipping #I mean you don't really see the blood but even so it's...it's cuts youknow #2gether #U + Me = Us (calculus)#So sad that this song was lost in time youknow the kids these days they know about backstreet they might listen to N*Sync but 2gether? No.

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thefinalcinderella · 5 years

Text

Tsurune Book 2 Chapter 4-Unsolicited Statement (Part 2)

The only thing worse than kyudo terminology...is Shinto and Buddhism terminology.

In other words, please enjoy this long-awaited continuation of the chapter, where the boys go to the Amatsu Star Festival in their fancy getup and we learn that Ren is actually Masaki’s stepbrother (not like the anime didn’t already spoil that for us). Also Nikaidou and Fuwa show up (not at the festival)

Glossary here

Full list of translations here

Translation Notes

1. A sekitori is a sumo wrestler ranked in the top two professional divisions.

2. A multi-tenant building here ( 雑居ビル) is a building that houses a mixture of businesses, shops and residences

3. Aratama and nikitama are parts of the spirit (mitama) of a god in Shinto belief. The aratama is the rough and violent side of the god that must be appeased while the nikitama is its normal state. (Thanks yugioh wiki for leading me to the right place)

4. The jousou of a priest is worn at regular festivals. A kariginu is a traditional hunting robe worn by Heian nobles. Basically, what Masa-san is wearing here is what he wore in Episode 10 of the anime (when the boys visit the shrine) except it’s all white.

5. Issun-boshi is a Japanese folktale about a one sun (3cm) boy who kills an oni. It’s similar to Tom Thumb and you can read the gist of it here

6. Jaki (邪気) means maliciousness or evil spirits, and mujaki (無邪気, literally “no jaki”) means innocence.

7. So apparently tsumikegare is a complicated term. Tsumi is sin and kegare is impurity, but sometimes tsumikegare happens to you without you doing anything wrong. In any case it taints your energy and you have to cleanse yourself of it.

8. The ritual Masa-san’s mom is doing is the shubatsu, a purification ritual that takes place before a ceremony. Also, ooasa is more commonly known as onusa, apparently. See one here. The sakaki tree is an evergreen that’s sacred in Shinto and used in many rituals, as well as salt water (entou), which is rock salt dissolved in water.

9. The term kaji ( 加持) is used here. In Buddhism it corresponds to Adhiṣṭhāna, which refers to receiving blessings from the Buddha. On a side note I pretty much had to guess the translation of this passage lol

10. Joue ( 定慧) is two-thirds of the Threefold Training of Buddhism. 定 is “right mindfulness” and 慧 is wisdom. The third one is 戒, which is virtue.

11. Momote Shiki is a kyudo ceremony performed for those who are turning 20 and becoming adults. It is conducted by the Ogasawara-ryuu, who dress in formal kimonos and shoot two arrows at a target. You can read about one in more detail here

12. A naorai is a banquet during a festival where the offerings made to the gods are eaten. It marks the end of a ritual. Read more about it here

13. A goldfish with protruding eyes is called a telescope goldfish or demekin

14. Nanao makes up the word pazarinko in Chapter 3 of Book 1, where apparently it’s supposed to mean “you’re welcome” It’s the furigana for “了解” which means “got it”

15. Yo-yo scooping is a popular festival game where you fish for small balloons with a paper string and a hook. The balloons you get act like yo-yos I think?

16. Yakitori is skewered chicken that’s grilled over a charcoal fire.

17. A marebito is a word that refers to a divine spirit or being bringing gifts of luck and happiness from afar. They are usually welcomed with festivals. It’s lso the title of the next chapter

Previous | Next

Countermeasures against the heat were necessary for summer exercise. Kyudo was no exception.

Kazemai High School was located in a relatively cool region of Japan, and kyudo was blessed compared to outdoor sports, but it was still hot during daytime. Although there was a fan, the wind almost never reached them, and so the fan head desolately turned.

In summer, the kyudo equipment also changed due to the heat. Because it was easy for the bowstring to stretch and for the draw strength to weaken if it was a bamboo bow, one used different equipment for summer and winter. The heat had little effect on glass fibre bows, but one needed to be careful as they could deform if one left them inside a car under the blazing sun.

For kyudogi, there were ones used specially for summer in addition to year-round. As the kyudo uniform must not be directly worn on bare skin, an undershirt must be worn, and the style for the bottom was a hakama that completely covered the feet. It was difficult to say that it was a cool getup. People who sweated a lot and the like had their sweat dripping onto the floor during zasha.

At break, Ryouhei and Nanao flapped the sides of their hakama.

“Ugh, it’s so humid since there’s no wind today.”

“The floor’s so steaming hot it’s like there’s indoor heating. My hakama’s getting stuck to my feet with all the sweat, you know.”

“Can you wash hakama?”

“The hakama and obi we wear for practice are made of synthetic fibers, so you can put them in a laundry bag and wash them with a washing machine. If you take them to a dry cleaner’s, it’ll be expensive since they’ll undergo the traditional clothing treatment. Though, the hakama Masa-san wears when he needs to wear kimono is probably made of silk or wool, so I don’t think he can use the washing machine for that.”

“My underglove is also really damp from all the sweat.”

“I hate having a sweaty yugake, so I’m going to air it out when I get home. Although when I say that, I’m just going to spread it out in my room and turn it over. Apparently, it’s also good to put a drying agent in it.”

The two replaced their undergloves that had become damp with sweat with new ones. In the case that one’s grip became slippery with palm sweat, one could also use rice chaff ashes, called fudeko, or one’s own white powder on the left hand.

Seiya handed Minato a towel and a water bottle. The ice made a cool, rattling sound, and the barley tea disappeared in an instant.

“Minato, if it’s not enough I can give you more.”

“Ah, thanks. I’ll have more later.”

“Are you suffering from heat fatigue? It looks like your dad has a lot of business trips lately, but are you eating properly?”

“Mm, I’m fine.”

Kaito, who was next to Minato and Seiya as they talked, knitted his brows.

“Are you mothering Narumiya again, Seiya? Leave him alone, he’s not a little kid.”

“Isn’t it fine? It’s not bothering anyone, and it’s my purpose in life.”

“So you finally got serious.”

“What? Do you want me to mother you too, Kaito?”

“Not a chance!”

“I also don’t want to take care of a child with such a bad expression.”

“I’m not a ‘child’ with a bad expression!”

Kaito finished his water bottle in one go.

Hanazawa, Shiragiku, and Seo had on dumbfounded expressions that said, “Ah, here we go again.” They were completely used to seeing the sketch comedies that Kaito was associated with.

Tommy-sensei asked them to gather around.

“Were you all able to hydrate? Takigawa-san explained this the other day, but what is the method of breathing while shooting?”

Ryouhei answered.

“If you’re concerned about your breathing, it becomes more difficult for you to know how to shoot. Or rather, you can’t do both at the same time.”

“Exactly so. Since the way of dantian breathing used in kyudo is slightly different than the commonly stated dantian breathing, and it is difficult for those who hold the bow and still have a few years to go, it is good to store it as knowledge in a corner of your minds right now.”

“Yes.”

“If I have to be extreme, Japanese archery is lifting the bow up, parting it in both directions, and waiting to release the arrow—that is all it is. Even though just that should be good enough, people do unnecessary and pointless actions. First of all, let’s correct the major causes that produce difficulties for hitting the target. Because when you covet this-and-that, you will not be able to understand why.”

Ryouhei nodded deeply.

“Now then, it will be summer vacation soon and there will be a training camp, but before that, I will give everyone a mission. The gentlemen will be time warping back to the Heian era.”

“Heian era? Time warp? What does that mean?”

“For that, go there and enjoy what happens. The girls will be in charge of seeing that with their own eyes.”

Minato and the others blinked rapidly before Tommy-sensei, who was chuckling.

“Ah.”

Tsujimine High School’s Fuwa let out a sound without thinking.

The person before him was clicking their tongue.

Fuwa was at the bus stop in front of the hospital with his phone in one hand. A man with a muscular figure, on par with a sekitori (1), was in front of him in line, but he seemed to have decided something and left the line. Just when Fuwa was about to close up the gap and lifted his head, he saw Nikaidou right in front of him. They couldn’t see each other due to the large man hiding them.

Nikaidou opened his naturally large eyes even wider. Since their eyes met perfectly all the way here, his face that screamed, I didn’t know you were there at all, was extremely transparent.

He muttered to him, as though resigned to the situation,

“The bus is here. Let’s get on it, Fuwa.”

“…Right.”

They did not talk to each other even as they sat next to each other in the two-person seat. Fuwa still had his phone in hand, and Nikaidou was vacantly staring out the window. Neither of them said anything like, “What a coincidence,” or “What happened?”

The bus arrived at the nearest station fifteen minutes later.

Although Fuwa intended on naturally parting from him in this way, Nikaidou indicated his destination with his chin.

“Come.”

Without saying “What a pain,” he followed Nikaidou to the fast food restaurant on the first floor of the multi-tenant building. (2)

Nikaidou silently lined up at the register.

"Welcome. Will you be eating here today?"

"Yes."

"Then, may I take your order?"

"I'll have one of whatever is the most expensive thing in this store."

"Okay?"

The cashier was immediately bewildered.

As he was getting second-hand embarrassment from what he was seeing, Fuwa went to the second floor seats.

After a while, Nikaidou showed up carrying a tray. Apparently he couldn't carry it by himself, as employees were following him. The tray was piled high with food, so it did not look like it was for two people at all.

When the employees left, Nikaidou sat in his seat and spoke.

"Here, eat."

"Is that how you offer food to someone?"

"Just shut up and do it now!"

Forced by pressure, Fuwa reluctantly took a bite of a hamburger. He had actually snatched food in the hospital room he had visited, so he was not at all hungry. When Fuwa finished eating one, Nikaidou looked relieved. He himself finally took the food as well.

Ah, so this is hush money?

Fuwa guessed.

It probably meant that he was not allowed to reveal that they ran into each other at the hospital. He couldn't ask anything about this matter. Furthermore, he is telling him to infer all of that. What a self-centered guy, he thought, but he stopped pressing it. Having him be quiet with this signified that Nikaidou trusted him greatly.

Nikaidou was hiding the fact that his uncle Shigeyuki was in hospital from the club members. Perhaps Shigeyuki asked him not to tell anyone. And Fuwa knew that Nikaidou had been visiting him frequently. That kind of thing would be divulged by someone close to him, and that information source was Nikaidou's younger brother. Because he knew, he was careful not so that they would not meet, but they ended up doing that regardless. In that sense, this whole situation was Fuwa's mistake.

Fuwa had a certain special quality.

It was the ability to get information even without seeking it.

Even though he wasn't extending an antenna from himself and collecting information, the things the people around him hid or wanted to hide entered his ears. He noticed that when he received a piece of coloured paper from his homeroom teacher at his elementary school graduation ceremony.

It was a collection of messages for the graduation ceremony, but among the trite and hackneyed phrases like "I'll do my best even after I graduate," he was unable to take his eyes from the words written by one girl.

Fuwa-kun has long ears, so bad things about Fuwa-kun are the only things I was afraid to say—.

He couldn't believe his eyes when he first saw that. He had no interest in the conversations of girls, so he never strained his ears for them. And in the first place, saying that he had "long ears" was in itself a loose-tongued thing to do. It may have happened that he did not notice the girl was hiding something and inadvertently said it aloud.

From then on, he began to be careful about his speech and conduct. He avoided topics that seemed like they would infringe on privacy as much as possible, and did not left out anything that he heard. It felt like the number of people who one-sidedly talked to him excessively increased, perhaps because he devoted himself to the listener's role. There were many people who wanted to talk, even without him asking. They could not help but vomit out the words that they kept close to their chests.

In addition, there were also many times when he accidentally overheard and learned something. The other day, he learned why Nikaidou often wore a white hoodie. When he went to the school infirmary, there was a health report there forgotten by the nurse. It was written that Nikaidou Eisuke was hypersensitive to light, and that if he was exposed to ultraviolet rays for a long time, it would cause skin inflammation.

And, there was another thing. He knew Nikaidou's secret—.

Ootaguro had also vaguely perceived it, and only Nikaidou himself thought it had not been found out. Ootaguro was not as meatheaded as Nikaidou thought he was. Nikaidou was smart, but lacked objectivity. He couldn't see himself very well.

Fuwa stuffed his mouth with his last bite, then washed it down with coke.

"Alright, it's all eaten."

"Ugh, I'm not gonna be eating hamburgers and fries for a long time."

When they exited the restaurant, Nikaidou pointed above his head.

"I'm gonna be stopping by the store up there."

"Oh, then see ya."

Nikaidou smiled, looking satisfied, and climbed the steps to the store.

Fuwa looked up at the sky.

The sound of a flute could be heard, and faint lights emerged.

At Yata Shrine, the summer festival called the Amatsu Star Festival was currently underway. Along the long stairs that stretched from the torii gate to the front shrine, bamboo tubes with the tops diagonally cut were arranged with lit candles inside them. The swaying flames were like whispers, enticing people to where the sounds were.

Sway, sway.

O marebito, o heretic gods.

Are you aratama tonight, or nikitama? (3)

Hanazawa, Shiragiku, and Seo, dressed in yukata, stopped at the top of the steps.

"Wow, the stairs of light are so beautiful!"

"Look at the interior. It's still continuing."

"Let's go."

The lights flickered, as though beckoning them. They passed between the bamboo tubes and looked back, and saw a river of light.

"Are the boys going to be here soon?"

Hanazawa confirmed the time.

"I wonder if they successfully completed the time warp."

"The girls' mission is to see it with our own eyes, after all."

The three giggled as they headed for the front shrine.

The five boys of Kazemai High School were also visiting Yata Shrine, but they could not afford to enjoy the festival. They first thing they did in the morning was to do an ablution ceremony by bathing in cold water (misogi). They also refrained from eating meat and fish since yesterday.

On this day, Minato and the others were wearing colourful kimonos and hakama, looking just like Heian nobles. Masa-san was dressed all in white. The ordinary vestments (jousou) of a priest was a dyed and patterned kariginu, a hakama in a colour that corresponded to the priest's social position, a cap called a tateeboshi, a ritual baton (shaku), and shallow clogs (asagutsu), but the kimono was all white with only a little decoration at the cuffs. (4)

In actuality, Yata Shrine was reviving the ritual "matoi" (target shooting), which had died out, and the Kazemai High School Kyudo Club boys were serving the roles of the archers.

Minato moved awkwardly in the clothes he was unaccustomed to wearing. The weights of the pure silk kimono and the practice clothes he usually wore were different, and he took care not to make it dirty.

"Masa-san, are we really going to be okay? We're wearing these flashy kimonos and hakama, and shoes made of wood. We're doing rissha, aren't we?"

"The target is big, and you'll be fine if you move as you practiced this morning. Exposing your chest in summertime is troublesome since your kimono sticks to you with sweat, but it works as a natural cooler."

"In the first place, why is it that except for the one priest, everyone else are boys from ages twelve to eighteen?"

"In ancient times, Yata Shrine was a shrine thatwas connected to the practitioners of Shugendou, and the purpose of 'matoi' was to exorcise vengeful spirits. As you can see from folk tales like Momotarou and Issun-boushi (5), 'douji' (boys) are said to have the power to exorcise demons--evil spirits. And in the ancient documents left at Yata Shrine, it is written that the archers are chigo, that is, young trainee monks with unshaven heads at Buddhist temples. The discussion of wanting to revive it has been brought up by the parishioners for a long time, but I only got enthusiastic about it when I talked about it with Tommy-sensei."

"So 'innocence' is the opposite of 'vengeful spirits'. (6) But why would there be young monks at a Shinto shrine?"

"Before the Meiji era, there was the syncretism of Shinto and Buddhism, in other words, Shinto and Buddhism weren't distinctly separated. Apparently, it wasn't unusual for priests to double as monks."

"Oh, I see."

When the festival music (matsuri-bayashi) ended, the archers and parishioners, with Masa-san at the head, stood before the shelves that held rice, salt, water, sake, fish and other offerings to the gods. The parishioners were serving as the kaizoes. The target (oomato) was made of flattened reeds that were woven together, and a piece of paper put on top of it had the character for "demon" written on it.

They received a purification rite from Masa-san's mother, who was a priest, to purify their sins and impurities (tsumikegare) of their mind and body. (7) She shook the ooasa, a rod of plain wood with shide (zigzag paper streamers) attached to it, left and right and left again, and then a sprig of sakaki tree was dipped into entou (salt water) and sprinkled. (8)

Masa-san walked a few steps ahead of the line, and then knelt (kiza) with a bow and white-feathered arrow in hand.

He chanted with a resonant voice.

Upon careful consideration, what one would call a treasured bow of divine empowerment (9), is something that strenuously exerts the virtues of joue (10), clears away the mob of hindrances,

And defeats the evil forces that block the way to samsara. Indeed, there is nothing that surpasses a divine bow and secret arrow for a vessel of expelling evil forces.

Now, the five great dragon kings have descended upon this dojo and will establish barriers that will block these evil spirits…

When he stood up, he had his bow and arrow in his right hand, and exposed his chest by slipping his kimono from his left shoulder. With both hands, he reverently held the bow parallel to the ground and then pointed it towards the target (mato-tsuki). He gripped the bow in a slanted position and drew it back to its limit, and then released the arrow.

His next arrow also hit the center of the target.

When Kaito, the oomae, lifted his bow, Ryouhei also lifted his own bow without missing a beat. After him, Seiya, Nanao, Minato and Masa-san imitated Kaito’s movements.

Kaito slowly brought the head of his arrow close to the target.

“Aiiiiiie!” After he shouted his yagoe, his arrow flew towards the target.

After him, Ryouhei also released his arrow with a “Yah”, and Seiya, Nanao, Minato and Masa-san followed.

Aiiiiiie, yah!

The yagoes crawled along the ground, the sounds that violently cut through the wind being linked together.

When the six shootings were over, there was a big round of applause from the spectators.

“What was that? Were those Kazemai students who were shooting?”

“Holy crap, that was amazing! We can take pictures, right?”

The female high school students who were watching as a way to kill time were in high spirits. Hanazawa, Shiragiku, and Seo, who were watching over them, were also leaning forward in excitement.

“Since they called it a ritual, I was wondering what they were going to do, but wasn’t it pretty cool?”

“It really did feel like we time-warped back to the Heian era.”

“They were moving similar to the Momote Shiki of the Ogasawara-ryuu school.” (11)

While the worshippers were chattering noisily, Kaito drew his bow tightly once again. There was a dignified air surrounding him.

The yagoes were shouted one after the other.

Six voices.

When the last shot brought down the demon, a thunderous round of applause arose.

After they finished their greetings, Minato and the others changed into their regular clothes.

Tommy-sensei met them with a smile.

“You’ve all worked hard on your mission. Congratulations to everyone for safely returning to present-day. You all looked very handsome.”

The parishioners also gave them words of appreciation and gratitude.

“What a mystical ceremony it was, as though we became lost in an older world. Many of us parishioners are getting on in years, but the ones who will create the future are you young people after all. Now, now, eat up.”

“Then, itadakimasu.”

They took the food before them. At the naorai (12), Ren was also there along with the parishioners, going around pouring alcohol for each person. A naorai also had the meaning of cleansing the body obtaining the offerings to the goods through eating and drinking the offerings and sake at the end of the ritual, but at Yata Shrine it had a strong sense of a party given in recognition of a person’s services.

It was a long-awaited and precious festival. They also wanted to go around to see all the stalls.

After talking for a while, the boys stood from their seats, leaving the adults who were drinking.

It was a complete transformation from that refined world, and they flocked to the area lined with red lanterns. The scents of sauces and sugary things mingled together. Nanao was called out to by girls as they passed by him, and he answered them with smiles. They went halfway down the row of stalls, when Minato and Ryouhei decided to take on the target shooting stall.

“I think I’ll aim for the sweets on the right. What about you, Ryouhei?”

“I see. I’ll be aiming for that mascot ‘Reclining Kaehru-kun.’”

“Alright, then, it’s a match.”

The two carefully aimed and pulled their triggers. Despite Minato bombarding it with bullets, the small box of sweets did not fall down. He persistently continued to shoot, and when he thought that it finally fell, he was disappointed when he was told that “it doesn’t count if it doesn’t fall behind the shelf.” As Ryouhei declared, he got the “Reclining Kaehru-kun,” and handed it to Nanao.

“Oooooh, this is amazing! Thanks, Ryouhei. Let’s go over there next.”

The group went to the goldfish scooping stall next.

Nanao and Seiya, with Kaito between them, were standing by.

“Seiya, Kacchan is a master at goldfish scooping.”

“Oh really? Show me what you got.”

Kaito’s eyes glinted. A daring smile appeared on his lips.

He readied his scoop in his right hand and the bowl for the goldfish in his right, and then passed his scoop under the water. He quickly slid it sideways and got one fish at the start. He then got a second one, a third one, a fourth one, and then the bowl was filled with goldfish before they knew it.

“Good job, Kaito. Alright, I’ll try too.”

Seiya gently put his scoop in the water and chased the swimming goldfish, but the fish escaped before he could put them in the bowl.

“Aaah, it got torn.”

“Seiya is surprisingly crap at this.”

“Sir, one more turn.”

Seiya paid the fee.

“Kaito, teach me your secret.”

“Watch closely, okay? First, you gotta put the whole scoop into the water. You should scoop by aiming for the fish at the surface and moving horizontally as much as possible, and making sure that the tail is getting on the paper.”

As he was saying that, he caught another one. Even the man at the stall said, “Give it a rest, kid,” with a wry smile. Perhaps because he listened to Kaito’s advice, Seiya got two fish this time.

Nanao kept aiming for the bigger fish, but at the end he did not catch a single fish. He returned his torn scoop to the man and pointed at one spot where the goldfish were crowding together.

“Kacchan, get that black fish with the stuck-out eyes buried under those red goldfish.” (13)

“Hmm, it’s big, and that location is ugh.”

“You can still do it, can’t you? Get it, get it!”

“Can’t be helped.”

Badgered by Nanao, he reluctantly attempted it, but his paper scoop got torn when he got close to the fish.

“Ooh, what a shame, kid,” the man at the stall said with a pleased face. They decided to bring back only three fish, and Nanao chose a fish to his liking. In the meantime, Minato and Ryouhei went to take a look at the neighbouring stall.

After they received their goldfish, Kaito looked around.

“Narumiya and Ryouhei aren’t at the stall next door at all?”

“Aah…, this happened a lot back then. Whenever those two are at a festival, they really get into it and disappear before you know it. Well, it’s fine.”

“Huh, it’s really ok? You not clinging to Narumiya, I mean.”

“Yep. Today, I’m sticking close to your side.”

Kaito recoiled from Seiya, who was smiling with his eyes narrowed.

“Hah? Why’s that?”

“In this kind of place, the possibility of you rather than Minato getting caught up in trouble is much higher. And you have even less self control when it comes to Nanao. As you wished, I shall specially take care of you today.”

“When did I wish for that!?”

Next to Kaito, who was scratching his head, Seiya was ready to burst into laughter.

“Okay, I texted Minato and Ryouhei our meeting location and time, so let’s walk around together.”

Nanao responded, “’Kay, pazarinko (14). Where should we go next? The turtle scooping stall?”

“Turtles, huh…those things get huge in the future. We can’t bring them back with us.”

“I wanna get big too.”

“Then, milk scooping?”

“Ooh, maybe! Moo-moo scooping~.”

“That’s not even a thing! If you’re talking about scooping, there’s yo-yos and gemstones.” Kaito answered, getting worked up and taking the joke seriously. (15)

The three disappeared into the crowd while jostling.

At the same time, Minato and Ryouhei had also noticed that they had lost sight of their friends, and looked at their phones.

"So we're meeting in front of the shrine office. There's still time until then. What do you want to do, Ryouhei?"

" I wanna eat yakitori. (16) You mind if I line up at that stand over there?"

"It's cool. I'll wait under this tree."

Minato left the lively avenue lined with stands, heading for the zelkova tree.

The rhythm of the festival music could be heard in the distance. Since from the morning he had been busy with the setup of the oomato and learning how to strip during a rissha ceremonial shooting, observing the festival from a little further away also wasn't bad at all. The flickering of the river of light pierced his eyes.

Just when he was about to twist off the cap of the plastic bottle in his hand, someone with their hand raised approached him from the front. At first he couldn't recognize their face since it was lit from behind, but it turned out to be Ren.

"Hey, Minato-kun. We sure do meet a lot."

"Ren-san, is it okay for you to be here?"

"Trying to drive me off, eh?"

"Ah, no, I was just wondering if it's okay for you to not be at the naorai."

"Oh, it's already in the final stage, so they probably wouldn't know if just one person is missing."

Ren stood next to Minato and similarly twisted the cap off his plastic bottle.

"How's it going with kyudo practice?"

"Thanks to having Masa-san teach us, I think everyone improved, as well as me."

"I heard that you were taught by a sensei who is famous in the kyudo world. Aren't you unsatisfied with Masaki?"

"That absolutely isn't true! Saionji-sensei and Masa-san are both my precious teachers. If I never met them both, I might not be shooting a bow today."

Ren suddenly laughed, but there was something cold about the way he did it.

"Really, that's good to hear. Masaki had been worried for a while. He told you that 'If you don't fix that bad habit, the more you shoot, the more it will hurt,' but he worried that he should have said, 'Once you fix that bad habit, you will get even better,' and that he made a mistake in how he should have said it. Thinking that there’s nothing good about a coach who lowers his athlete's motivation."

"Eh, he was?"

"Even for those who teach, there's actually a real anxiety about whether or not what they are doing is really okay. Masaki did kyudo for many years, but as a teacher, he's a beginner. Everyone's an amateur for the first time they're doing anything. Studying, exercise, the arts, work, raising children—everything has a first time."

"—That's true."

People wavered whenever they are doing something. Even if they weren't aware of it, even if they weren’t in pain or suffering, they were always making choices. Even after the time of the initial resolution, in the end they still didn't know what was the correct answer. One could only cast away doubts such as if there was another choice, and go the way one believed in.

Minato asked something he had always been curious about.

"Ren-san, you don't do kyudo?"

"Yeah, I don't. There was a time when I thought I'd try it, but I missed the timing."

"So Yasaka-sensei didn't encourage you to do kyudo."

"Uh huh. I was already a full-fledged adult, and I was the child of his daughter's second marriage partner, so he probably refrained from doing that."

"...What?"

"You know Masaki's mother remarried, don't you? I'm the kid from my dad's previous marriage. I'm not related to Mom and Masaki by blood."

The wind blew, and the flames swayed all at once.

The leaves rustled and wriggled.

Minato groped for something to follow up with.

"Ren-san, are you trying to surprise me again? Even I won't fall for it anymore."

"Oh, so Masaki didn't tell you. Well, maybe he didn’t bother telling his student about it. It's about unrelated people after all."

Minato very much remembered his thirst. The scar on his left flank ached.

Ren always spoke like there was a hidden meaning in his words, but he really couldn't see his true meaning this time.

"Minato-kun, I actually hate you a little bit. I thought that when Masaki finished his ten-thousand shots, he could be freed from our grandfather's binding spell, but he relapsed back into being bow-crazy. He was about to go on the same path as the grandfather he avoided so much."

"Is it bad to love kyudo?"

"I don't think it's bad, but I do think it's constricting and uncomfortable."

Minato wanted to refute him. No, you're wrong.

Masa-san, Shuu, and Minato were certainly struggling, and might be suffering, but those shouldn’t be all that there was.

"Masa-san's tsurune is really beautiful. I don't believe it's the sound of someone who is shooting in suffering. I enjoy shooting a bow. It's frustrating to not be able to do things as they go in my mind and not getting considerably better, but even so, I love kyudo."

Ren's eyes stayed the same, with only his mouth smiling.

"It is said that Yata Shrine's Amatsu Star Festival is perhaps for appeasing Amatsu-Mikaboshi, who is branded as a malevolent god. For my home, you are a marebito—a guest. Nobody knows if you are a good spirit or an evil spirit." (17)

"Ren-san..."

"Fufu, you are too amusing... It's a joke, I'll be leaving my little brother in your care."

Ren lifted a hand and left.

Ryouhei showed up in his place, bringing along Seiya, Kaito and Nanao.

Minato blinked his eyes from the dazzling, diffusely reflected light.

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#tsurune #tsurune translation

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lysieblu · 4 years

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When the Camellia Blooms

So I decided to do commentary this time. I usually have a lot to say when wacthing dramas but forget it all quickly.

Mild Spoilers Ahead

I’ve renamed the characters because auto-correct sucks if your first language isn’t Korean.

Oh Dong-Baek - Dongbaek

Hwang Yong-sik - Smiley

Choi Hyang-mi / Choi Go-eun - Clepto Waitress

No Gyu-tae - Tae or Gyu-tae

Hong Ja-young - Baseball, baseball dude

Jo Jung-sook, Dongbaek’s mom - Mama bear

Deok-soon, Yong-sik’s mom - Ma dukes

Why is it that society can take anything and make it a reason to put others down. Humans ain't shit. Episode 6 “Girls like me are like the Emperor's New Clothes... Good guys cants see me.” Best quote of the whole drama so far. Clepto waitress, I love her. She was weird and I wasn't sure if she was playing old dude, Tae. But she was and kinda genius at it. Men help create the traps they get caught in. Is Dongbaek really going to die in the end because it really sucks as this sad girl narrative goes. Being an orphan and or single mom does not doom you. The society in which she lived did. She was a fighter and would always win. The fact that she made it so far in life despite believing the bs others were telling her and the shit she was telling herself is worthy of praise. Episode 7 Smart girl to keep a tab of bad behavior. I just wish she had a bit more confidence, petty, and bad bitch in her delivery. This self deprecating behavior is getting old now. But this kind of behavior can't be unlearned in a night. It's so frustrating. This is why I can't be a therapist. Get a grip bitch. (kidding I know how healing works) all you can really do is pour in the positive and hope it flushes out the negative. That's why smiley is good for her but God he's annoying. He may be good and all but he had def benefited from her lack of boundaries. The dead girl at the end is the Clepto waitress. She stole the bracelet from Dongbaek and thus why the dead body is wearing it. Go Gye-tae has something to do with the murders. He is too punk to do them himself. But he knows and is close to the murderer. The timing of the alarm at the aesticians office. Tae saved her I think it's the handy man. Episode 8 Chief is looking really suspect. Clepto waitress has crossed the line to disrespectful. Is she really risking hurting Dongbaek to get baseball dude? I think extortion always been her MO. Mom was referring to her when she said watch who you trust. I don't think she's the killer but bitch is not innocent. Episode 9 I hate bitches. It's true that for some people who never grew the fuck up... Hate is their love language. Cliques need a common enemy to thrive and they are weak as fuck. It doesn’t help that Dongbaek never puts them in their place. Me and Dongbaek are the same age and had our kid about the same time. I don't think the killer is female. Unless that bitch is Ronda Rousey I would like to believe I can fight off a bitch with chicken wire. Chief is looking suspect as hell. Why is he always throwing Smiley off the track or avoiding the case. He knows something. I am by no means taking baseball guys side, however I do feel that both parents should be given the opportunity to be parents to their kid. It's unfair to not tell him about his child when he clearly wants to be a father. The scar can go both ways. You son can resent you for keeping this from his father. Pil clearly knows what's up. Dongbaek is growing up. In a way, this is a death flag. But I still don't believe it's her. Episode 10 There isn't a cloud in the sky. They are walking around without coats. And you expect me to believe that it's cold enough for snow. I still feel like Joker isn't a female but her mom is looking hella suspect. What if the connection between all the victims is Dongbaek. Maybe they somehow did her wrong and crazy momma bear was protecting her. But I really can't see her climbing out of a window. Plus the fire alarm. Trust no one. A lot of people have said the "don't be a joke" line. I called it. That ending was more of a death red flag. So the dead lady is Clepto waitress. She probably died because she obviously owes debts. Dude in hair salon was creepy. But that is separate from joker. I know this goofy mug. I've seen it somewhere (Googling it) ah.. yes... Mr Smiley was in Midnight Runners, playing a cop there too if I remember correctly. Episode 11 A bunch of elementary school kids fighting over baseball. Me yelling at my TV: GET EM!!! Let me tell y'all. I would have been on that field lighting shit up, whipping everyone's ass. Little boy go get yo momma so she can get your ass beating. 😡 Chief is acting wonky. He knows something. What's with the mom? She seems so protective... Now? What about her dad? What if Dongbaek's parents are some crazy con artists who are protecting their daughter by killing off people who conned her? They are basically trying to tell her to "get a grip bitch!" Or "don't be a joke." And did you see her grab the belt and wrap around her fist? She knows what the fuck she's doing. (I want her on my team in a fight) Why is Dongbaek not questioning her lucidity? 🤔 Clepto waitress is the childhood friend.?!. 🤨 IT WAS THE FUCKING HANDYMAN!!! I CALLED IT!!! 🥳🙌🏾👏🏾 Yass bitches. I'm fucking brilliant. Hold on... let's not get ahead of ourselves. Episode 12 This shit just became an episode of 24 “Why try to live so hard?” Because if I live up to the narrative people create for me based on some societal BS explanation, they win. They can say, "see I told you all _______ are _______." Fuck your prejudices and stereotypes. The last thing I want to do is prove some asshole right. So many people want her dead they are trying to confuse me. Who the fuck is the joker?? Handy man's dad? Is he even alive? And this lack of boundaries is killing me. Dongbaek needs to put both those men in their place. Baseball needs to know he has no legal rights, period, if his name is not on the birth certificate. It would be the kids decision as to what his relationship with his dad is. She also needs to tell Smiley to get a fucking grip and that dealing with Baseball is part of being with her. These situations can coexist and it's frustrating to think otherwise. Mom dukes needs to chill. Her son has to make his own decisions and fuck-ups and she cannot fault Dongbaek for that. Life is hard, regardless. If it ain't this, it would be something else. Who lives an easy life?? Challenges build character. And I get it some things you can avoid. But they are grown in their 30s, who at this point does not come with baggage? And fuck you for trying to make me cry. I'm at work Episode 13 Is momma bear on drugs? Her behavior isn't totally out of the ordinary but maybe she goes away to trip and comes back. Lawd we all gon die together😮 They are teasing this story line so hard. IDK who the joker is. I'ma stick to the handy man but everyone in this story is guilty of something and really it's like matching the crime to the person or the person to the crime. Who killed Clepto? Was it her enemies or the joker? What momma bear is up to? Who's the joker? Is the joker and cleptos killer the same person? What's handy mans deal? Out of all of clepto's enemies, I believe the only ones capable of killing her are Mr. Pimp, Jessica because she's desperate, or Momma bear because she's protecting Dongbaek. In which case, her death is separate from the Joker's killings. Episode 14 You think Smiley's mom may be jealous because no one took an interest in her with three kids? Hold... The ... Fucking.... Phone... It's handy man's dad??? Behind every weak man is a mother (parental figure) who never held him accountable. I'm tired of grown people not acting like they are grown, kiss and have sex already... Damn. Oh so now they were meant to be? And did Momma bear really come for a kidney? Episode 15 There is a such thing as too much motherly love. This lady is fucking delusional. Her son has always been the type to run towards trouble. Does she really think his life would be easier without Dongbaek? Really? Go-tae is cleared. He was guilty but his crime is gambling. Jessica hit clepto with her car but someone delivered the final blow. Was it Momma bear? Or joker? I think Chief is cleared too. He was just operating out of fear. So hold up. Momma bear has been watching over Dongbaek her whole life. If Momma bear is lurking in the shadows of course she would run into someone else lurking in the shadows. Bitch. Episode 16 Laugh cry? Jesus Christ Dongbaek is stupid. A abandoned mall. Really? She's like a white chick in a horror movie. No don't go in there. Run bitch. 😔 Always take the fucking stairs. I can't. If she falls, I quit. Episode 17 They look like the fucking Power Rangers and I AM LIVING for this movement. Ordering me a track suit on payday. He gets it. He fucking gets it. "I know I made you be a mother when you wanted to just be a woman" 🥳 "We'll not only feed him, we'll wipe his ass if we have to" My bitch. 😂😂😂 If this shit ends with Pil going with his father, I quit. People and situations can peacefully coexist. What's with this all or nothing attitude? And this discarding of a previous family or kids. I see it a lot in these dramas and it's disturbing. Episode 18 Pil's in for a rude awakening but it's a lesson that his mom can't protect him from. His dad may have nice things, but he ain't shit. He'll be back. Damn even your kid thinks your weak. Or is he being mean? He did it for his mom. Funny.. he's assuming what she wants. Did she ever say that she couldn't marry Smiley because of him? Did Smiley say it? That Ma Dukes said it and it's unfortunate. He's too young to realize which opinions matter Society sucks for making a kid feel this way. Fuck that shit. It just hit me. One of the underlying themes of this drama is parenthood, more so motherhood. Dongbaek lacked boundaries, even with her son. Smiley's mom is delusional about her son and life in general. She relied on him too much, babied him too much. I don't think any woman would not have been good enough in the long run. The guilt of his father dying, she blames herself, a burden she should have never had to bare, and never fully healed. She projecting that onto Dongbaek. Dongbaek's mom is seeking redemption. She did what she thought was best for her kid. Jessica's mom put up with an asshole for the sake of everyone else and probably to maintain her life. She's learning that she doesn't want that for Jessica. That her own insecuries have transferred to her. Taeks mom is selfish as fuck and babied her son, never holding him accountable. Mother's think they know what's right for their kid, but a nice life from the outside doesn't guarantee a nice life from the inside. That nice lawyer could have treated your daughter like a slave. But it all looks nice to the neighbors. People have got to let "perceptions" go. Most of the time people with the "worst" past have the best character. The issue with it all is.. most mother's define themselves by their kids or husbands. Korea does it very literally. Then, when it all goes away; your kid grows up, your husband may die or leave, what's left of you? Who are you? Women are incouraged to be everything for everyone else but nothing for themselves. When we do, we are made to feel guilty or less than for it. Dongbaek needs to be away from him for while. How this is happening sucks but both of them have lessons to learn. If they don't live happily ever after I have wasted my 20 hours of my life. This is utter bullshit. I hope they're fucking with me. Episode 19 This would have played out differently if she had a daughter. This is literally why fuck boys are running amuck these days. Moms who use their sons (sometimes daughters) as substitutes for men and adult relationships. Boundaries. To love your dad so much even though he is a killer is unhealthy. Sik needs psyhological help. It sends the wrong message that you need to or have to take you parents (family members) bs just because they are parents (or family.) In hindsight, a red flag. I don't want Dongbaek to be a match. I don't want her to give her kidney. I don't like the idea of someone younger giving someone older an organ. Once you've passed 50 you have lived your life. The donor should be the same age or older and preferably on their death beds. Especially in Dongbaek's case. What if something goes wrong and Pil looses his mother and grandmother? You going to let that man-child raise him? I would never be okay with taking any organ from my kid. Episode 20 So it was the handy man? I was right bitches. And his dad is covering for him. Wow let it be known that Episode 7 I called it! He was framing his dad and playing everybody. Why didn't he kill Ma tho? Loving people and being kind-hearted is so fucking easy. Why do humans make it so hard?? I know these dramas are fiction but someone somewhere has lived a similar life. Where the fuck would I be if I didn't have an awesome mom and a loving family? Ongson feels like Stars Hollow. Them pants are rather high-waisted. That ended well. It had important lessons that I hoped someone learned from. Good story. Why I suspected the handy man? It's usually the character that can easily go unnoticed. He has access to the whole town, knew everyone and smart enough to cover his tracks. Everyone else was too obvious but the story did a great job of making me doubt my initial suspicion. Bravo. Low key miss clepto waitress. When she wasn't being a extortionist, she was a fun character.

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lopithecusfanfiction · 6 years

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Trick or Treat

Author: Lopithecus Pairing: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Rating: Teen+ Word Count: 2797 Alternate: AO3, fanfiction.net Summary: It's Ko's first time going trick or treating. However, it doesn't go exactly as planned thanks to Bruce the Brood Master™. Warnings: N/A Author's Note: This is part 8 of the Sparks Series. You don’t necessarily have to read the other installments but Mishaps in Raising a Baby is referenced so I suggest you at least read that one (or even to just refresh your memory as to what happened in that fic because it’s been OVER A YEAR since I’ve added anything to this series!! I’m soooooooo sorry!!!) Also, this started out as a happy fic but… it… uh… didn’t stay that way (is that really a surprise?)… sorry… *Goes and hides behind a table* In my defense, the prompt actually doesn’t say whether or not it has to be a happy fic or not. So… *continues to hide* Prompt: imagine your otp dressing/buying their baby’s first halloween costume [X]

Ko’s Age: 1 year old

Tim’s Age: 14 years old

Jason’s Age: 20 years old

Dick’s Age: 22 years old

Clark’s Age: 35 years old

Bruce’s Age: 36 years old

Bruce and Clark wander the store looking for the Halloween aisle. Ko is in the baby carrier that is attached to the cart and Tim is bounding in front of them in excitement. “I can’t wait to go trick or treating!”

Clark laughs. “You make it sound like this is your first year going. You went last year, didn’t you?”

Tim shrugs as he rounds a corner, coming to a full stop at the sight of all the costumes hanging up. “Yeah, but this is the only time of year Bruce and Alfred let’s me eat a bunch of candy.”

Bruce rolls his eyes and picks up Ko from the carrier, seeing him get a bit restless. He balances the baby on one of his hips, watching Tim go from one costume to the next. “Aren’t you a little old to be going trick or treating? Besides, you dress up in a costume every night.”

Tim mocks a gasp. “Costume!” The young boy places a hand over his heart. “That is my battle armor, not my costume.” He picks up a poorly made Robin costume off the shelf and scowls, saying more to himself than anyone else, “definitely not a costume.” Tim then turns to Bruce with a wide smile, placing the Robin outfit back in its place. “And you are never too old to go trick or treating, Bruce.” Bruce grumbles as he bounces Ko slightly.

Clark approaches him, carrying a costume that looks suspiciously like a Batman costume except much too small to even fit a young child. “What is that?”

“A costume for Ko.” Clark holds it out for Bruce to inspect.

He immediately shakes his head. “No.”

Clark frowns. “Why not?” Then a teasing smile. “Would you rather him wear a Robin outfit?”

Once again, Bruce rolls his eyes. “Why can’t he dress up as you?” Before Clark can respond, Bruce silences him. “Ko is not dressing up as any of us,” he whispers as another couple walks into the aisle with their daughter.

“Bruce,” Clark leans in closer, “no one is going to know you and I are Batman and Superman just because we dressed our baby up as one of us. Have you seen how poorly made these things are?”

“That’s not the point.” Bruce steps back from Clark, switching Ko to his other hip. “Why do we have to dress him up, anyway? He’s a baby. He’s not going to be eating any candy let alone going up to people’s houses and saying trick or treat.”

Ko reaches up towards Bruce with a little squeal. “Tri. Tri.”

Bruce glares at the young baby. “Don’t think you can manipulate me like that.”

Clark chuckles, taking a hold of Ko in order to hold him. “He’s been learning from the number one manipulator himself. Good job on teaching him that, Bruce,” Clark says teasingly.

“It’ll come in handy in the future.” Bruce briefly glances at a costume that is made for babies.

Clark is smiling at him, amusement written all over his face. “Not if it works on us.”

Bruce quickly sets down the costume he was just eyeing. “I was just looking out of curiosity.”

“Uh huh,” Clark says with a chuckle.

“Found it!” Tim yells out, receiving odd looks from the couple. “I want to be this!” Tim jogs up to them, holding out his chosen costume, giggling as Bruce peers at it.

It’s a clown costume.

“No,” Bruce says, not amused at all.

Tim can hardly hold back his laughter, hand cupped over his mouth. “Why not?”

“You know perfectly well, why not. Put it back.” He shoos the cackling fourteen year old away, glaring all the while.

They continue to spend another ten minutes in the Halloween aisle with Clark looking for a costume for Ko, Tim looking for himself, and Bruce holding Ko once again and grumbling to himself about how long it’s taking. Ko is getting more and more restless and Bruce is starting to worry the child might use his powers. If that happens, all hell will break loose. Bruce wouldn’t be able to control the baby and Clark would have to deal with it, but depending on what Ko does, will determine if Clark will have to use his powers and if Clark has to use his powers as Clark Kent…

Bruce takes a deep breath and tries to calm down, placing Ko back into the carrier. He kisses his son on the forehead, rubbing the small boy’s hair. “We’ll be leaving soon. Just hang in there a little longer.” He stands up straight and is just about to tell Tim to quicken up the process, when Tim comes over to him.

“Got it.” Tim holds up his costume.

“A farmer?” Bruce asks incredulously.

“Yeah!”

“Why?”

Clark approaches. “Actually, you know what? That gives me a perfect idea as to what Ko can be.” Bruce and Tim watch as Clark walks away and then comes back with a costume. The Kryptonian turns it around so they can see the picture.

“A cow?” Bruce asks.

“And you know what?” Clark is smiling at him with this wide grin that makes Bruce uneasy and Bruce is just now noticing Clark is holding something behind his back. “The rest of us are also going to be wearing these.”

Bruce doesn’t even have time to protest before Clark is whisking them out of the aisle to cash out.

*~~~*

Bruce will not complain. Bruce will not complain. Bruce will not- “This is fucking ridiculous!”

Clark is snorting as he places the straw hat on top of Bruce’s head. Clark is dressed in a similar way as Bruce. In fact, everyone except Ko is dressed just like Bruce. Dick is doubled over laughing at Bruce’s expense, hat falling to the floor, Jason protested at first until he found out Bruce was going to be a farmer as well and then put on the outfit hastily, amusement coloring his features, and Tim is overjoyed with excitement.

Clark straightens Bruce’s hat out and then picks up Ko who is dressed in his cow costume. “There, now we are all the farmers to our little cow.” He tickles Ko’s belly and the baby laughs.

“I feel stupid,” Bruce says.

Jason comes up to him and pats him on the back. “Sometimes you have to be stupid for your kids, Old Man.” The young man looks Bruce up and down and starts chuckling. “But you look foolish.” Jason stumbles over to where Dick is still asphyxiating on his own laughter, doubling over as well.

“Can I just stay home?” Bruce questions to no one in particular.

Clark shakes his head. “Nope. You have to come.”

Bruce crosses his arms in a huff. “Okay, fine, but does it have to be in Gotham? Gotham is dangerous on Halloween. In fact,” Bruce takes the hat off, “I should be out there as Batman right now.”

“Bruce,” Clark sets the hat back onto Bruce’s head. “If there is anything happening in Gotham, I will let you know. I’ll keep an ear out.” The Kryptonian is frowning and Bruce tries to not let it pull at his heart strings. “Please, just try to have fun. For Ko’s sake. This is his first Halloween going out. Don’t you want him to have at least a fairly normal childhood.”

Bruce eyes Ko, his worry and fear rising in his chest. Bruce’s eyes travel back to Clark’s. “There is no normal for him.” Bruce walks away, ignoring Clark’s sigh. “Let’s get this over with.”

Alfred ends up driving them down to one of the few nice neighborhoods Gotham has and parking on the side of the road. They all get out, Dick carrying Ko in his arms as the little boy looks around in amazement. “I hope he doesn’t get scared by all the costumes,” Clark says to him as he gets out of the limo.

“I hope he doesn’t get confused and think they’re bad guys,” Bruce comments, earning himself an annoyed look from Clark.

Dick, Jason, and Tim are already off to the first house that has its light on, Ko still squealing in Dick’s arms. Clark and Bruce follow more slowly, Clark keeping a comforting hand on the small of his back. It doesn’t help though. By the time they reach the fifth house, Ko being handed off to Jason, Bruce is a ball of nerves.

Clark leans into his ear to whisper. “You need to calm down. You’re getting weird looks.”

“I’m getting weird looks because I’m Bruce Wayne.” Bruce pulls away from Clark in agitation. “And tell me to calm down when our son no longer kills people.” He crosses his arms and watches his kids with their huge smiles plastered to their faces. Ko is smiling as well, gurgling and laughing every time someone coos over his costume.

Clark approaches him again with a soft look. “That was a couple months ago, Bruce. Nothing has happened since then. In fact, Ko has been doing really well with controlling his powers.”

He scrutinizes Ko, making sure to not take his eyes off the baby. “Tell that to the guys he killed by melting their skin off.”

“Bruce, he was trying to protect you. We’ve been over this a million times.” Clark grabs his hands, tries to get his attention, but Bruce refuses to look away from Ko. “It was all in self defense.”

“Have you seen me kill in self defense?” Bruce finally briefly peers at Clark, making sure to say his next statement with an edge to it, to bring it home. “Or you?” He goes back to watching Ko.

“You need to give him time to learn to not do that. Bruce,” Clark takes Bruce’s chin in hand and turns his head to face him. “Lord Superman couldn’t have influenced him. He was just a baby. He can’t remember what happened.”

“And what about you?” Bruce focuses on Clark now, desperate to get his point across. He doesn’t understand why he’s the only one worrying about this stuff. “What’s your earliest memory?”

“Not of Krypton.”

Bruce gives him a disbelieving look. “Clark, you have an eidetic memory and you’re telling me you can’t remember Krypton? Not a even a little?”

Clark rolls his eyes. “Bruce, the only reason why I have an eidetic memory is because of the yellow sun’s radiation. My earliest memory is of when I was, I don’t know, four or five? After I had absorbed enough radiation from the sun. My memory is not like yours in which it’s genetic.” Clark huffs. “And even with your photographic memory, you don’t remember things from when you were a baby.”

“No, I don’t.” He steps closer, letting his voice lower more. “But you have to remember, Clark, that Ko was born under a yellow sun. He had all that time in the whom to absorb that radiation.” Bruce narrows his eyes, irritated and angry. “Now tell me how well his memory probably is.” He pokes a finger into Clark’s chest. “Especially with how quickly he learns. So tell me again how Lord Superman couldn’t have influenced him.”

He takes a step back and turns away, making his way to his sons. They are in the middle of picking out candy for themselves when Bruce grabs Ko out of Tim’s arms. “Bruce, what are you doing?” Dick asks as Clark strides up behind him.

Bruce holds Ko close to his chest, wishing to protect the baby from the world, from the bad, from the baby himself. “Finish up here, then we’re going home.”

The three boys look at him, puzzled, as he walks away with Ko. Ko looks over Bruce’s shoulder, reaching out for one of the boys but Bruce ignores it and Clark’s comment about “handling it.”

“Bruce!” Clark jogs up to him from behind, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder.

Bruce whirls away, flinching violently, and almost tripping to the ground. “Don’t touch me!” Eyes belonging to strangers turn to him, parents grabbing a hold of their children as they sense a couple quarrel about to happen.

Clark is holding up his hands in a placating manner, eyeing Bruce in concerned confusion. Bruce’s breathing is accelerated and Ko snuggles into his chest, as if sensing how distressed he is currently. “Okay,” Clark says gently. “Okay.”

Bruce tries to breathe through his nose and wills his muscles to relax. He continues his journey back to the limo where Alfred is waiting inside, reading the newspaper. He climbs in. “Alfred, can you please make sure the boys hurry up.”

Alfred looks at him in the rearview mirror. “Very well, Sir.” The older man then gets out just as Clark slides in beside Bruce.

Clark doesn’t say anything, not for a few seconds, before, “Are you scared of me?”

Bruce rolls his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I’m not. It wasn’t the first time we went up against an evil version of you.”

Clark is still looking at him oddly. “Then why did you react that way?”

Bruce doesn’t want to answer him. He doesn’t want to make himself vulnerable, not right now, not when they aren’t home. But Clark is his husband and he has to be honest with him, has to get the Kryptonian to see his point of view. “Those men that abducted me and Ko, came from behind.”

Clark still seems confused. “But people attack you from behind all the time. You’ve never acted like that before.”

“Yeah, well that time involved our child.” Bruce squeezes Ko closer and the baby rests his head on Bruce’s shoulder. “And I had to watch those men shoot at a baby. I had to watch, Clark, as our child murdered four people and I couldn’t do anything about it. You only saw the aftermath, you weren’t there, so you have no right to tell me to not be worried about the influence Lord Superman might have had on him.”

Clark is quiet again, staring, as if he’s looking into the depths of Bruce’s soul. “So you don’t trust him.”

It’s not a question but a statement. Bruce answers anyway. “No, I don’t.”

Suddenly, the next thing Bruce knows, he’s on the ground outside, on top of the limo door, with the wind knocked out of him and pain in his side. “Bruce!” Clark hurries over to him, eyes wide as Bruce coughs to try to get his breath back. “Are you okay?”

Bruce can hear the whispers of confused and worried bystanders around them. “M’fine.”

Clark looks at all the people gathering. “It’s okay. Just a malfunction in the electric seat. We really need to get that looked at, Bruce.”

Bruce painfully sits up. “No kidding.” He places a hand on his side, feeling how painful it is to breathe. He must have a few broken ribs now. Bruce raises his eyes to the limo where Ko is sitting, staring at him. The baby’s face is bordering on curious but is mostly blank. Bruce had at least expected the baby to be crying like he usually does when he uses his powers.

When the crowd starts to dissipate, Clark grabs him to help him up. “Are you okay?” he asks again.

Bruce shrugs his hand off and gets up off the ground himself. He glares at Clark, whispering, “Yeah, we can definitely trust him.” Ignoring Clark’s guilty expression, Bruce goes back to the limo and sits down on the opposite side of Ko.

*~~~*

Clark enters the bedroom hesitantly. “Ko’s asleep.” He approaches the bed and sits down where Bruce is trying to gingerly take his costume off. There’s too many layers. “Are you sure you don’t want to say goodnight to him?”

Bruce lifts the shirt, exposing a large black and blue on his left side, where his lung is. He hisses in pain. “Does this look like I want to say goodnight to him?”

“Well, it was kind of your own fault.”

Bruce gives him a deadly glare. “Do you want to sleep in a different room tonight?”

Clark gives him a wary shrug. “It’s true. You said right in front of him that you don’t trust him.”

“And he proved my point.” Bruce slides into the bed carefully, breathing in slowly.

Clark lies down next to him, pulling the covers up over them. “We’ll figure it out, okay? We always do.”

Bruce doesn’t respond to this. He just lets Clark wrap his arms lightly around him, scooting up against his back and burying his face in Bruce’s hair. It’s not long before Bruce hears the deep breaths of sleep coming from the Kryptonian.

Bruce, however, doesn’t sleep that night. Instead, he watches the screen on the baby monitor.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Happy Halloween!

#DC Comics #SuperBat #Superman #Batman #Clark Kent #Kal El #Bruce Wayne #Sparks Series #Trick or Treat #My Fanfiction #sfw

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thecrotchhand · 6 years

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health class >:(

-ug

-did somebody say rick of suicide

-”ooh, there’s a laser!” -student teacher

-good ways to manage stress- “punching a hole through the wall”

-”do you have a long-term goal?” “dying”

-”we should deport justin bieber back to canada”

-”if you say you're gonna do something, then do it" "i'm gonna kill myself ;))"

-"i'm busy singing Africa by Toto" *off-key singing continues*

-"when you lose weight, where does it go?" "it goes to weight heaven"

-the guy next to me started playing Africa quietly from his phone

-"i'm talking to bowl cut. just kidding chris. i love you." "...i'm getting a haircut."

-"you don't lift to get swole" -st

-"that sounds not good for you" "i'm gonna try it"

-"during pregnancy, the women in here are gonna need more folate, iron, and calcium" "no, i'm gonna need a coathanger"

-"liar liar pants for hire"

-"is eustress good stress or bad stress?" (long silence) "it's good stress! yay!" -st

-good ways to relax- "11 hours straight of anime"

-"everything's gonna be ok" lmao good joke

-"precipitation... wait i mean perspiration. it still counts, it's raining from your body."

-ways to manage depression- "kill yourself :D"

-help the teacher (flynn) has been yelling at us for the past five minutes

-uh oh she said damn it's gettin' wild

-she went back into her office after and all of a sudden we hear a quiet "oh, happy Wednesday"

-"is it possible to have an abortion 700 weeks late?"

-"what's the r-word we talked about?" "rawr XD"

-"what does autonomy mean?" "it's like grey's anatomy but for cars"

-alcoholism is a good sims trait

-guy: sneezes

guy's friend: "god bless... america"

-”what do you say to your sibling during an argument?” "you should've been aborted" “no”

- "your personality might be kind of boring" "like a potato!" "yeah"

-"what does down to earth mean?" "it means you're like the lorax, you speak for the trees"

-"he was happy?" "yeah! put him working with me and larson for ten years and... we fixed him!"

-the student teacher generally has a habit of sarcastic yaying and it entertains me

-"jason (chris) move your head" "just throw a rock at it, it'll move"

-someone was trying to come up with weird phobias and someone suggested genital herpes

-"sir you've been diagnose with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia " "aahHH"

-"if someone comes up to you and says a mean word, you're gonna be upset" "hey sam" "what" "fuck"

-"i found a big circle"

-"*cough* flynn"

flynn, out of nowhere: "i heard that"

-"have you guys seen cabin in the woods?" "wait, the one with the cabin in the woods?"

-:(

-"let's say you don't have a gun" "pft, not in america"

-we were talking about miscarriage and cody goes "fetus... deletus"

-examples of anger- "when mcdonald's doesn't have ice cream"

-video from the 80's: "depression isn't talked about"

-a seal saved this guy's life and he just: 'ah yes it was all because of god' ¿¿¿???

-80's commercials are the weirdest shit

-yepperdoodles

-"...gonna get addicted to xanax"

-"you guys all did a really good job on your tests" "i got a C" "i got a D+" "yeah there wasn't a single person i was not happy with"

-"you say you see really good scores, but what i'm seeing is a D"

-examples of compromise- "i got a D+, but i feel i deserved an A, so let's meet in the middle with a C" "but what do i get out of it?" "if he passes the class, you don't have to see him anymore"

-"oh no my one feeling"

-"what are some ways to resolve conflict?" "killing yourself"

-"put away the candy this is health class"

-(talking about conflict) "...then the fire nation attacked"

-(softly) "yo what the heck dawg"

-"if they started a rumor-" "kill them"

-"when i was-" "a young boy"

-"you got two more weeks with the student teacher, then you get me back" *high pitched screaming*

-"they never broke out, and then one of them broke out"

-"wrestling uniforms are skimpy"

-(across the room) "hey man, can i touch your butt?" "i don't mind, dude"

-"let's say my wife is going to leave me and i'm... celebrating! oh wait"

-"they're fat and skinny, they're white, black, pink, purple, and orange-" "trump"

-"listen, idiotface"

-"do you think... the government is hiding the cure for cancer...?"

-i love government conspiracy theories during health

-"i... declare... bAnkrUptCY"

-"are we watching a movie?" "maybe if we're lucky it's the ring and it'll kill us"

-lmao i don't need drugs to feel numb

-"aww, flynn, we know you're drinkin' a bottle in the back room" "yeah, just look at ya, why wouldn't i?"

-The Weed™

-"weed stops your sperm from being produced correctly" "perfect, it's birth control too"

-"weed might shrink your... parts" "i think i'll just stick to meth"

-"weed might give you a special needs child" "it's wilson 2.0!"

-"i'm gonna be a drug dealer but not a mean one like a nice, happy 'eyy, wanna buy some drugs? :3'"

-oh no, grandma's growing weed in the basement

-"ahh, the weed's on fire"

-"guess that's how they caught the drug dealers. the deer were high"

-teacher: "ooh, i just sounded like yoda: don't smoke The Weed™"

-"hey, where can you buy a still? asking for a cousin"

-"raise your hand if you want to watch hentai"

-this guy keeps responding to people with "yes, my child?"

-"they put aborted fetuses in vaccines" "oh honey no"

-"how do you keep yourself from getting sick?" "stop breathing"

-examples of painkillers- "cocaine"

-"i know elvis presley is still alive because the king never dies"

-biggest drinker in our grade: "am i gonna be an alcoholic?" class: "you already are"

-c o m p r o m i s i n g ��p o s i t i o n

-"trick question, i am hentai"

-"what would you do... if i said i could put you in your own hentai"

-"you're gettin' a hole in your nose oh my goodness"

-"depression" "nope" "wait... depression"

-"I can't remember the happiness i felt before drugs" "i can't remember feeling happiness at all"

-"oh you're back! just in time for meth"

-"oh my garage"

-"lotta meth in that town" "nah just incest"

-"it kills your brain cells. which some of you can't afford (staring directly at the class alcoholic)"

-"why do dentists have the highest suicide rate?? probably because everyone hates the dentist, i dunno"

-"that's accusations" "uuuuuhh no" "oh"

-"oh my gads. you got some meth?"

-"in the puss!" "terms" "sorry. vag!"

-"there's a pretty good chance that drug came out of someone's anal cavity" "that's why i don't do heroin"

-"hey, whose buttocks did this come out of?"

"i'm gonna go shoot myself with some dog food, brb"

-"oh my chicken pie"

-"i've been told we're gonna draw a penis"

-help they're genuinely discussing giving babies steroids

-"most of the female reproductive cells are useless" "just like my brain cells"

-the teacher keeps referring to developing babies as "little rat" and "alien creature"

-"if you eat my period snacks, i will eat you"

-*chiming* "is that santa??"

-"what's the only fluid that doesn't go to the baby?" "water" "no" "air" "no" "earth" "..." "fire"

-"you're supposed to snort those calcium pills" "don't snort the calcium pills"

-"mr. o'reilly, when'd you miss your period?"

-"is it true you puke the day after you get pregnant?" "no, if you puke the day after, it's from the alcohol the night before"

-fetus = jumbo shrimp

- i too, am a very sad lookin' heart

-"no, you cannot throw up your baby"

-"now that we've taken the baby home, we need to figure out what to do with it" "flush it down the toilet"

-"if you wear a hat all the time, all your hair is gonna fall out and die" "ha ha kevin, you're gonna die"

-"since i was 14. and i'm 112"

-"big dumb"

-"what do you want to be when you grow up?" "dead"

-"my parents say: 'hey... whatcha doin' with that 24-pack?'"

-"did jeffery dahmer's mom love him?" "hope not"

-"ohh i love the smell of babies *sniff sniff*"

-"they can be found in places that are... places"

-"why are there rotting apples under here?" "no you gotta let those ferment"

-"what's something you lose by age 3?" "hope"

-the guy in front of me had marvel porn on his phone????????????? hentai hulk's bright red ass is permanently ingrained in my mind

-"what am i supposed to do to live 2 more years? wrap myself in bubble wrap and eat brussel sprouts?"

-"for every 10 pounds overweight you are, subtract 1." "-50"

-"you're wearing a flamingo shirt, you're no one's favorite"

-"you don't snort viagra"

-"how do you feel about having guns in our home?" "how do you feel about how quickly i'd use it to kill myself?"

-"hey, 2 seniors walking down the hallway! wanna give her your papers?" "outta my way. hey! get back here and gimme your papers, ya bums."

-"it's not just the genitals that transfer STDs" "left calf"

-"what if they got an STD some other way?" "drinking sprite"

-"...serial monogamy-" "cereal is for mornings"

-"...trading sex for-" "chicken nugget"

-"you wanna try sex wearing a hazmat suit, go ahead" "don't kinkshame me"

-"STI: spaghetti time infection. it's an epidemic"

-"g- ross"

-"AIDS didn't come from sex with a monkey" "it's definitely about sex with monkeys"

-"what kinds of drugs do i need if i have AIDS?" "nothing, you wanna die"

-"do you know what they do to get rid of genital warts?" "chop your dick off" "mix wart cream with water and drink it"

-oh no they found out what they do get rid of genital warts

-"they shove a q-tip in your penis" "iiiiii'd rather die"

-"is that what tinder is? swipe right if you want crabs?"

-"i would suggest not setting your genitals on fire"

- "your penis doesn't do tricks"

-"do you have a driver's license? *nod* "do you have a car?" *nod* "are you a big boy?" *unsure nod*

-"i know it's only the last day but i will make you suffer for every last minute" "then i'll just do what i always do *sleeps*"

-our resident alcoholic was washing the board and people were jokingly flirting with him so he tied his shirt into a bikini and continued washing so the teacher docked him points for it. don't worry he was already failing

#quotes #notes #class #american school #american schools #meme #wtf #out of context quotes #offensive humor #i wouldn't be surprised if our class is the one that causes our teacher to become an alcoholic

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