#that i really understood and that her health is ALWAYS more important and that i'll be here whenever shes ready | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sublieu · 2 years

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╰┈➤Overworked

: ̗̀➛ Teasing, [Dominant] Fem reader, [Semi] cumflation, clawing.

: ̗̀➛ 1.6 wc

: ̗̀➛ Play All I need- Lloyd, Vixen- Miguel Don't- Bryson Tiler, and So High by doja cat in chronological order. I PROMISE you it sets the scenery. P.s it's 13:25 minutes long for all songs in total.

You groaned internally when you woke up to the sounds of Syntax still working on a prototype. Walking downstairs to his work desk lamp still on the tapping sounds of the keyboard alongside the low humming of a buffer silently rung in your ears.

You placed your arms around his shoulders, watching him continue tweaking with his machines before he spoke up, slight annoyance in his voice as he acknowledged your presence.

"You should be sleeping [Name]"

He starts and continues paying attention to his work, you only hugged his neck and kissed his hair, stubborn and refusing to listen to his subtle command. Making him groan and stop what he was doing.

"You should really stop spending all these nights working on your prototypes. You even have bags under your eyes sweetie."

You'd reply, your chest pressing at his neck whilst Syntax cleaned his glasses with his coat. This behavior of his has been happening for the past few days, naturally you understood that it was his job and it had a deadline. But you're not gonna stand here and watch him overwork himself, the bags under his eyes being ever so evident; It was starting to worry you, and he knows.

"But I have a dea-" "Fuck that spider bitch's deadline. Your health is more important"

You cursed, getting sick and tired of hearing him repeat himself. It was obvious you never really liked her, but you kept your mouth shut for Syntax's sake.

He was baffled for once, never in his time did he ever hear you curse. And for you to do this for the first time, made chills run up his spine pleasurably. His palps twitched in ecstasy, and you noticed immediately. And opted to take advantage of this.

"You're always going on about 'Deadline' this and 'Deadline' that. Maybe instead of paying attention to the spider woman who has a very sensitive ego to actually paying attention to me, your girlfriend."

You continued, the room before was just quiet with a subtle hint of awkwardness, but you took advantage of it and pulled at his strings. He did love how honest your mouth was, his palps twitching more as an effect to your sudden shift in behavior; You demanded his attention, and that's what always reeled him in. Like a puppet to his strings, he was a fly stuck in your web. Right where you want him.

You turned the chair around and sat directly on his obvious bulge, what luck that you don't even wear panties going to bed. Your pussy directly rubbing on his hardened cock as he watched you in both pleasure and fear. Scared yet thrilled about what's to come of him when you have him in a corner.

You unbuttoned his shirt before pulling his tie and dragged his face directly to you, your lips just grazing each other before you pushed his head back on the chair.

"Sorry Syntax, boys who don't understand when to take a break don't deserve good treatment, and since you loove over working yourself, surely you can make an effort just to get me to even leave a mark on your cheek."

You teased, playfulness evident in your voice as you watched him squirm; He could touch you if he wanted to, but he's just playing to your little game. Obviously enjoying this dominance himself enough to beg you.

"Please [Name] I'll do better, just one kiss. Please~?"

He begs, his eyes dazed yet attentive. Watching you with utmost concentration, Making you pull his tie back, kissing him with passion and lust as his hands snaked around your waist. Practically trying to tear your dress off as you unzipped his work pants, His hands going under your (see through) dress to grab your chest before you got off the chair and stood before him.

"Take the clothes off. Now"

You commanded, to which he obliged to and hurried to do what he's told, almost tearing his favorite tie in the process before looking up at you with utmost submissiveness. Making you sit back down in his lap, your folds touching his cock whilst sitting down, almost torturing the poor man. If he wasn't being attentive before, he was now.

Syntax watched you prying eyes, he wasn't even embarrassed the slightest, staring at your exposed chest, his hands now snuggled around your waist as he took in your perfume, 'Jo Malone Red Roses' he whispers, your most memorable perfume to him. No matter how far you were, he could remember the scent immediately, like a moth drawn to a lamp.

You pushed his cock inside, the slow burn from not being intimate for the past few days really made you groan pleasurably, God how you missed this stretch. You yourself were surprised you didn't went crazy just from being stretched alone; taking the time to make sure you were comfortable enough to start riding, giving slow and almost lazy grinding. But he didn't mind, he needed this a lot more than you anyway.

The room was quiet aside from the occasional groans and praises, but it was comforting even, you didn't even register your surroundings, everything around Syntax was a blur, forcing you to pay attention to him directly. And Syntax was the same, his hand paying attention to your waist and how well you're even taking him.

You both share a kiss as he started thrusting up inside you, your hands now latched to his hair as his arms were to your shoulders, forcing you to take him to the hilt, the wet slapping now evident and ominous.

Honestly he needed this, ever since the Spider Queen decided to fix her machine he's been put under stress ever since, so he's extremely grateful for the fact you forced him to pay attention. And this is the best way he could say thank you right now, obviously tired and worn out from working on the prototype.

Syntax whined and whimpered, his voice growing more submissive as he fucked you to cloud-9. His cock pressing at the entrance of your cervix. His soft thank yous and praises filled the room, alongside with your loud fucking and moaning. But he couldn't careless as of right now, he wanted no, needed this. Now.

His cock twitched and ached, it didn't help that you started tugging at his metallic claws as well. Even driving him closer to an orgasm, but he just started, and he's not planning to stop until you spasm around his cock. He was willing to resist his release just to have you twitching and mumbling lazily.

'Please' and 'I love you so much' kept escaping his lips, making you kiss him again to shush him up, kissing him hungrily and passionately when he suddenly got up with you in his arms and placed you on his work desk. Mindful to push his materials to the side as he greedily took in your moans. Your legs wrapping around his waist as he fucked an inch closer to heaven; Destined to breed you before the dawn comes, his throbbing dick now starting to hurt if he doesn't cum soon.

You came first, your juices clashing with his cock, making it wet and slippery, easier for him to pay more attention to himself. Putting your legs over his shoulders and his leg on the table as he pounded harder. His balls slapping harshly against your ass as you cried out in bliss. The sensitivity alone making you hold onto his back, your nails digging deep inside and leaving marks. Those were gonna hurt in the aftermath.

Your walls clamped around his dick, forcing him to slow down as he came. Stuffing you deep with his cum, some even leaking out of you and onto the floor as he moaned out in bliss, finally relived of the torture he placed his cock through and let you sit up on his table; Plopping down on his work chair as he looked back at you. Your hair a mess and all over your face, causing him to laugh at you. His laugh sincere, innocent of evil before he calmed down and got up again to lift you up and carry you back to bed. without clothes. The night/early morning heavy with your laughter as you fell to sleep hours later.

*The next day/A few hours later*

A sudden banging of his door woke you both up. Causing you to look at each other before remembering that the spider queen alongside his 'co-workers' would be here, today.

You got up and put on a bathrobe before going downstairs to open the door, Syntax in the bathroom to brush his teeth and clean his face before hearing the sudden tapping sound of her spider legs enter your humble home.

"Where's Syntax?" "He's upstairs cleaning up. Give him a couple minutes, anyways breakfast anyone?"

You ask to avoid anymore questions from her, to which Huntsman and S.S immediately spoke up a yes, obviously leading to her saying a yes as you start up the stove and coffee maker. Hearing his footsteps coming down a couple moments later before hearing her speak up.

"Is the prototype ready?" "Nope!"

He says with confidence, which was odd. Even for Spider Queen herself, making her raise an eyebrow before asking another question.

"Why is it not ready?" "I fell asleep"

He responds, it was an obvious lie, but if she edged him any closer as to why she might regret pushing him to hear anymore questions; Getting up to take up the prototype from his work desk, he noticed that his lamp was on the floor, instant memories of what happened next ran through his mind and causing him to hide his blush. Before Huntsman could even ask him on what happened you came in with pancakes and coffee/Chocolate tea.

Handing it out to all of them equally before going upstairs to wash up and put on proper clothes, when they noticed a mark on your neck. Before immediately putting the pieces together as to what happened that caused him to not finish the prototype. Which lead to relentless teasing from both S.S and even Spider queen herself. He was not gonna live this down for weeks on end, but he didn't mind... too much.

©𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐮 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐; 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝

#lmk syntax #lmk syntax x reader #syntax lmk #lmk smut #lmk x reader #lego monkie kid syntax #lego monkie kid x y/n #lego monkie kid smut #lego monkie king #lego monkie kid #lmk #🍑lmk masterlist #🍑 monkie kid smut

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lip-rings-and-quiffs · 1 year

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Been a While | L.H

Luke + f!reader

Warnings : not much. Luke is initially depressed but it’s not very graphic so it’s not really angst. Fluffy. A bit over 4k words.(i think. I have no idea). Pls excuse my horrible writing lmao (also I’m rusty)

Summary : Whilst trying to get away from his life for a couple hours Luke Hemmings has an encounter with someone who would soon become very important in his life. Aka I’m bad at summaries

+masterlist| reblogs are highly appreciated!

Luke had been feeling down lately. He had been struggling with his mental health, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He had been going through the motions, doing what he needed to do, but he didn't really feel alive. He felt like he was just…existing. Without a purpose. Like his mere presence didn’t matter.

One day, Luke decided to go to a coffee shop to get away from everything for a while. He needed to be alone. Away from everyone. He ordered his usual, a plain black coffee, and sat down at a table in the corner. He was scrolling through his phone when he heard a small voice say, "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

"No, it's not," he said, gesturing to the chair across from him.

The girl sat down and introduced herself as Y/N Y/L/N. She was kind and friendly, and Luke found himself opening up to her in a way he hadn't with anyone else.

They talked for hours, about everything and anything. Y/N was a ray of sunshine in Luke's grey world. She made him laugh and smile, and for the first time in a long time, he felt happy.

As they were leaving the coffee shop, Y/N said, "Hey, would you like to go out with me sometime? Maybe we could grab dinner or something?"

Luke felt his heart race at the thought of spending more time with her. "Yeah, I'd like that," he said, smiling. They exchanged numbers, and Luke couldn't wait to see her again.

Over the next few weeks, Luke and Y/N went on several dates. They went to restaurants, parks, and museums. They talked about their hopes and dreams, their fears and insecurities. Luke found himself opening up to her more and more, and he felt like she understood him in a way that no one else did.

Y/N was patient with him when he wasn't feeling well, and she always knew how to make him feel better. She brought him small gifts, like his favorite candy or a new book to read. She was always there for him, no matter what.

And Luke was never one to read. Especially not books like these. Sometimes he read science articles on his phone but never books about vampires and werewolves made most likely for teens! But if you were to walk by his house on a Saturday evening you would be met with the sight of the lanky man sitting by the window, book in hand. And boy did he look invested.

One day, when they were out on a walk, Luke said, "Y/N, I need to tell you something. I've been struggling with depression for a while now. It's been really hard, but you've been the one bright spot in my life. You make me feel happy, even when everything else seems bleak."

Y/N took his hand and squeezed it. "Luke, I'm so sorry you've been going through this. But I'm here for you, okay? Whenever you need someone to talk to or just to sit with, I'll be here."

Luke felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He had been holding this secret in for so long, and he was afraid to talk to anybody about it, but it felt good to finally tell someone.

As they continued their walk, Luke felt lighter and happier than he had in a long time. He knew that he still had a lot of work to do to get better, but he also knew that he had Y/N by his side, and that made all the difference.

Over the next few months, Luke started to feel like himself again. He was still struggling with depression, but he had Y/N to help him through it. She was his rock, his light in the darkness.

One day, Luke decided to do something special for Y/N. He knew how much she loved flowers, so he went to a florist and picked out a bouquet of her favorite flowers. He wrote a note that said, "Thank you for being my sunshine” with his signature smiley face on it. Luke had a spare key to Y/N’s apartment.

As he was finishing putting the flowers in a vase, Y/N walked inside, finding the giraffe of a man towering over a table. “Lukey, what are you doing here?”

He smiled, nodding his head towards the flowers. With a confused look she turned to look at her favorite flowers staring back up at her from the table. She couldn’t help the dopey grin that adorned her face as she squealed in joy. “Thank you! They’re my favorite” she said whilst reading his note. “Aww Lu, this is so nice!”

Luke walked towards the table, towering over her. “I have something to say” he looks down at her. She nodded looking up at him.

“I uh well, I umm. I’ve realized that it’s been a while since I’ve been happy. And I’ve healed a lot since that day I met you at that coffee shop. That day, that day was the day my life completely changed. And that’s because of you. You are the reason I’m happy. You’re the reason why I wanted to try again. And these few months have been better, so much better than the last couple of years and I’ve been thinking. I umm, first of all thank you for always being here for me and second of all, Would you like to be my girlfriend and make it official? It’s ok if you say no-” “-Yes!” She exclaimed pulling him down to her face.

“Didn’t even let me finish” he teased, raking his arms around her waist. “You were gonna start to ramble” she fired back, diving into give him a quick kiss on the corner of his lips. “True” he grinned, eyes closed as her thumb ran across his stubble covered jaw.

A/N: Thank you for reading<3 also pls gimme feedback.

Reblogs are highly appreciated!^.^

+masterlist

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kage-mochii · 2 months

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Might delete all my posts relating to Will Gold (I refuse to say his online name. His real name should be spread and attributed to the abuser he is)

I won't delete everything dsmp related, since I did draw alot of Schlatt art (I still do) but i don't feel great about having art of an abuser up on my page.

My one and only take on this situation, as I don't want to talk about it again: I'm livid. His continuous harm to his friends and partners is disgusting, his lack of accountability disappointing on several levels. I'm a very forgiving person, so I do want to give him the opportunity to change, but ill never see him the same again. I don't think I'll ever support him again, even if he does change. But I always believe in second chances so I'm not going to say he doesn't deserve an opportunity, but the likelihood of earning back that trust is low.

He's a manipulator through and through, using his vulnerable fanbase and catering to the demographic by appearing as if he was a sweet, kind musician who understood mental health. My heart goes out to Shelby and his other victims, as well as his friends who had to learn about how awful he was, and finally his fans who were manipulated by him. Please take the time you need to process this, maybe take a step back and remind yourself that you never really know the person behind the screen. Parasocial relationships are dangerous, and it's important to focus on your mental health first. If anyone ever needs to vent, my messages are open, or even go to my Instagram and dm me there! I hope everyone can heal from this, again Go Shelby for speaking out about her experience. She is so amazingly strong, please show your support.

I know I'm by no means a popular creator, but I do feel like any little bit of help with pushing this truth out is good. Twitter is a cesspool at the moment, Tumblr seems much calmer in regards to things and I feel more comfortable making a post on it.

I promise to post art soon, but I do need time to process this all. I will be taking the bursonas and making my own OCs though, as many other artists have done, so stay tuned for those guys! Thank you for reading and remember to look after yourselves.

#kage rambling #fuck wilbur soot #support shelby #shubble support #mcyt #dsmp #All my love to Shelby #Take care of yourselves everyone #itll get better

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tobydandelion · 5 months

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I'm actually, legally, free now.

In the summer of 2022, I escaped long term physical and emotional abuse by a partner, who had kept me trapped with her by taking advantage of my disability for about 8 years. More than a year after my physical escape, I've now finally won the battle for my legal freedom, despite her trying to keep me legally bound to her. Now that the divorce has finished, I can finally apply for student aid, and get into community college.

I had been debating with myself whether or not to press charges for battery at this point, since I still have the evidence of her physical abuse, and I'm still within the statute of limitations- but recently I decided to let that go. As much as I want to see her get justice for what she did to me, and for the years she stole, I decided that the truly healthiest decision for me is to try to move on, and focus on the two most important things in my immediate future: College, and my child.

Yes, at the time of writing, I am very happily exactly 12 weeks pregnant! This is something else I always wanted, but never thought I'd be able to have, until I understood how to accommodate my disability properly, and gained full control over my own life. Now that I know how to accommodate myself, and have all the support necessary, this feels like absolute perfect timing.

I have a lovely, supportive boyfriend who I'm moving in with soon, a habilitation worker who's actually understanding of my limitations, a supportive and helpful roomate/boss/fwb/yougetitlol, a really great therapist, as well as a great gp, and trans-friendly ob! And now that my divorce is finished, my disability payments will increase, and best of all, I can apply for student aid and start some online community college courses!

I'm planning on going into law, basically from scratch, over ten years removed from high school. So, I know I'm going to be going to school for about a decade at least, especially since the first few years are definitely going to be at a nice slow pace, so I don't burn myself out with being obligated to multiple classes and full-time infant care at the same time. I'll start as light as I can, and work closely with counselors, as they actually do have decent disability services at the community college I'm looking to apply to.

My bf is planning on helping with the baby of course, but, honestly, I'm really quite content with the thought of being the primary caregiver. This really is something I've wanted my whole life; babysitting my little cousins on occasion was one of the only good things about my childhood. I love teaching and playing with and taking care of kids, but barely dared to dream of ever having my own, until this last year.

After I learned I was pregnant (actually very early, I could have chemically aborted but the thought didn't even cross my mind, due to the aforementioned proper support and lifelong childrearing dreams), I threw myself into learning all about pregnancy and babies. Luckily for me, this basically became an instant special interest, which has made, and is still making it, very easy to study up!

The way that me being autistic has affected my pregnancy, and vice versa, is quite interesting to me. I've already decided I'm not going to want an epidural, as I'm very curious how I will experience the sensations of labor and birth. (And even besides my muted interoception, I've heard that people with my bedroom proclivities have a much easier time with birth generally, and I wonder if this is true.)

Also, I was expecting my sensory issues to be more of a problem so far, but I've actually been very lucky with pregnancy symptoms, as of 12 weeks. The worst I've experienced so far is some nausea and vomiting and fatigue, but none have even been bad enough to lower my quality of life, really.

One thing that definitely has contributed to my continued health, is that is that my doctor cleared me to keep using cannabis oil through my pregnancy. I'm sure that's helped with the nausea more than I even know! Initially, my regular doctor had said that I'll probably wanna switch to something else while breastfeeding, because THC oil is generally contraindicated for that, but that it's definitely fine until I wanna start clearing it out of my system just for breastmilk production.

BUT, at my first appointment with my obgyn, whom my doctor said would be the one to decide what to try besides cannabis, I was actually informed there's no need to change anything! Apparently, she thinks the risk of switching medications while pregnant outweighs any risks posed by the THC. I was absolutely elated to hear that- I was certain they were gonna want to make sure it was out of my system before giving birth. But my care team reassured me that a positive result in my baby or milk won't impact how quickly I can take them home at all, and it'll all go on their chart explaining things properly. I'm so relieved- it's like the best case scenario I didn't even wanna get my hopes up for!

And something else I didn't expect- I already love them. Even though they aren't a baby yet, I love this fetus. It's a very strange feeling, it's different from how I've ever felt about either a person or a pet. Sometimes just remembering they're there makes my heart fill with warmth so rapidly that my eyes start welling with happy tears. And other times I catch myself clapping and laughing just from the sheer joy I get when I randomly think about the little nubbly pink thing all cozy in my belly. But most of the time, it's just a nice calm comfort, like I'm never alone. They make every decision easier, every next right step clearer. That's the feeling that's hardest to describe. I guess, it's like having a very comforting imaginary friend, but who I know is actually real? It's amazing. I never feel lonely anymore, ever. I truly feel what I interpret as 'love' towards the little creature inside me.

They've even helped one of my e.d. quite a bit; it's like I'm able to not worry about calories or carbs lately, because I'm so focused on getting the right nutrients to them. I've been able to quickly push past negative food thoughts, and just think about how good what I'm eating is for the creature. I've been eating a lot of cheerios, which to my keto-fryed orthorexic brain would have been unthinkable, just months ago. But now I've at least been able to somewhat suppress and redirect that compulsion, to give my child the statistically optimum nutrients to have the highest likelihood of being able to become a very happy baby!

I like to think about how they're growing constantly, and about what they might start to experience and when. I've started talking to them. They might not know what 'I love you' means yet, but they're going to have heard it every day, from before they even had a brain to experience it. I'm going to do my very best for them. I've proven myself to be quite capable of finding appropriate accommodations lately, and I know I'm ready to be a good dad.

Oh, and I've already prepared for them to have my same disabilities, since that's quite likely. The first items I bought for them (I'm already starting to stock up on essentials, since I'm on a fixed income and it's more practical than buying all the supplies later on at once) have been newborn sized sun-goggles, newborn sized noise-canceling earmuffs, as well as a baby wipe warmer! They're going to grow up comfortable and secure- and listened to, no matter how they communicate- from the very beginning of their life.

Also: fun info for any other pregnancy nerds: we have a posterior placenta!! 🕺🎉 (Non pregnancy nerds: that's the best kind of placenta, lol.)

I'm really stoked about this timing, too. Like I mentioned, I'm planning on about ten years of school or so, starting with online classes for the first few years. Basically what my version of 'pre-law' will be, is a couple years of Gen Ed to recover anything forgotten from high school over the last decade, then probably some literature and government courses while I'm working on getting my LSAT score up. There's a pretty decent lawschool here in the city I live in that I'll be applying to, once I've got that score up high enough for a scholarship program.

So hopefully, the timing should work out to where I can stay home and devote as much time to the child as they need in their first few years, then once they start going to gradeschool, I should be able to start some in-person lawschool classes right around then.

As frustrating as waiting for the divorce has been over this last year, I'm glad I got plenty of time to properly rest and make sure I have what I need to be at my best, before starting school. And I got a head start on the family I've always wanted, simultaneously! This timing honestly couldn't be better, I'm so excited about both my short term and long term future.

So for now, I'm probably going to continue to only check social media very sparingly, to keep stress down, as is best for baby formation and whatnot. They're my number one priority now, and it's a small sacrifice to make for the most important creature in my world. <3

#tw abuse #tw ed #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #disabled pride #disability pride #disability #trans pride #transmasc #transmasc fatherhood #disabled parenting #autistic pride #high support needs autistic #Spotify

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lokielly · 2 years

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ofmd fans! you might like amazon prime's "a league of their own"

!!! MASSIVE DISCLAIMER BEFORE I GO ON !!!: our flag means death is often described as a lighthearted show. homophobia isn't really a big theme. this is very different from a league of their own, since it's about the experiences of queer women and queer woc in the 1940s. there's quite a bit of homophobia, transphobia, and racism shown on screen, much more than our flag means death.

i'm making this post because i'm tired of lesbians and other sapphics having to watch show after show get cancelled. currently, a league of their own (which is based on a movie from the 90s) is getting bombed with negative reviews because of homophobes saying that they made it woke. so, please, i ask that you read below the cut because this could be another new favorite show for you, and we need the views and positive reviews to keep it afloat.

the reason i'm targeting this post towards fans of ofmd is because as i was watching the first episode of aloto, i kept thinking of it.

it starts with carson shaw (played by abbi jacobson), a married woman, running from home to become a professional baseball player. when she arrives at tryouts, she meets greta gill (played by d'arcy carden, who i'm sure most of you know as janet from the good place). now, without spoiling much i'll tell you; they are very explicitly gay. VERY.

at tryouts, they cross paths with max chapman (played by chante adams), who isn't even considered for the team despite her amazing pitch just because she's black. despite the setback, she's determined to make her dream of playing ball work no matter what anyone says or does to try to stop her.

the show follows both the women's baseball team and max. max has such a beautiful story of self-discovery alongside trying to achieve her dream. carson also has her own story of self-discovery with greta.

there are also 3 butches in the main cast (which i've seen many people excited about) and latinas (including a cuban girl that only speaks spanish, which made me happy as a cuban-american ex-softball player!!!)

oh, and there's also a trans man!

amazon prime marketed this show as if it was just about the baseball, when it was actually a show about the queer experience in the 1940s. reminds me of how, going into our flag means death, we thought it was a silly pirate comedy because HBO never promoted it as a romcom.

please consider watching it. if you're hesitant, watch the first episode and i promise it'll have you hooked. we need this representation. we need more seasons. for me personally, this show is extremely important to me. it's my first time seeing myself on screen and actually feeling like i'm understood as a lesbian. i'm really picky with how couples are written, and they feel so natural. max's experience also hit me so hard, so i can't even begin to imagine what it would be like for a black lesbian to see.

i know it might seem silly to make this post and ask for people to give this show a chance, but i don't think i can handle seeing it go early. and lesbians have been losing shows left and right ya know. and we all know the ofmd fandom is massive (rightfully so). plus, i think you'll be happy to see a show centered on women.

please do keep in mind what i said in the disclaimer though. this show focuses in on homophobia often. don't watch if you can't handle it. always prioritize your mental health.

#and who doesn't want to see janet from the good place kiss a woman?#i've been a fan of d'arcy carden for 5 years and i love to see her shine like this #a league of their own #our flag means death #ofmd #lgbtq #lesbian #sapphic #wlw

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blissfulalchemist · 30 days

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35-40 for marc and sahar bc i miss them

You know I miss them too! I have been rotating them in my brain since I got caught up with the important beats of the latest comic arc! So anyway lets get to it. I did in some specify if there was a bit of a difference between cinematic and comic verse.

Who’s more artistic?

I'll have to give this one to Marc. Sahar may have been in marketing but she wasn't a graphic designer. Marc though just has the vibes and ability to sketch decently. This goes for both comic and live action versions.

Who’s more likely to fire up the stove at 2am because the other woke up in the middle of the night hungry?

In comic universe it's more likely to be Sahar and lets be real here this question should say 2pm as Marc and Sahar run on a night schedule. Sahar has a harder time sleeping at times and feels that Marc can always use the sleep. Marc will when it comes up but usually she's already making her own food by the time he wakes.

Cinematic universe this one does go to Steven and Marc. She can be a heavier sleeper and there's an odd kind of safety being in a world just coming into the insanity of the comic world, not to say that she doesn't sleep well in the comics she's just much more hyper aware of things and will wake at a moment's notice more often. However Sahar is the one to suffer more nightmares and it falls to the boys to comfort/wake her from them.

Which is more likely to swear?

Both in both universes. Steven is the only one that tries to refrain if possible but compared to the others he may as well never swear. These are hardened vigilantes so swearing is a part of their personality.

Who is more sexually experimental? Who’s more vanilla?

In comic verse I would give it more to Marc and the boys to be experimental and bring new ideas to the bedroom. It isn't often but it is more often than Sahar. Hell even before Sahar knew it was Marc and interacted with Steven, with their few sexual encounters, he always suggested something she'd never tried before. Sahar is a bit more on the vanilla side but is down to try things that interest her that the boys bring up.

Cinematic verse Sahar is the more experimental one between the two of them. There are things that she misses with comic Marc and its more than cinematic Marc has tried but is down to try them. Marc is experimental and would be when looking at other partners but there's a bit of a gap between him and Sahar so she wins in this case.

Who would rescue an injured animal and nurse it back to health? What would the other think?

Well Macy considering that Sunny is a cat that Sahar adopted from the streets should be pretty obvious haha. Now Marc couldn't say anything because Sunny was already hers by the time they really started to see one another. If Sahar does so again he's not going to say no and may even allow himself to enjoy the tiny bit of normalcy having a pet offers.

Cinematic universe its still Sahar but Steven is her ally in getting Marc to reluctantly agree. He loves the pet though just gotta be a little dramatic about it is all.

Who has an insatiable appetite? And what does the other do to help?

Okay now what kind of appetite we talkin here? Cause if its straight food then its Marc and the boys considering how much work they all do. This is rectified by Sahar knowing all the best places to eat near by no matter where they are and having a sandwich or two on hand when out and about in her purse.

If its sexual appetites then in comic verse Sahar and Marc are pretty equal with Sahar craving sex and him more by just a smidgen. Their relationship started because they were both needing that physical affection from someone else and they were the only ones that got and understood the other, and quite frankly wasn't even fully anticipated it just happened on her night shift in the bodega bathroom. Granted her first time with comic Steven was at a holiday party in some boss' office. Cinematic verse its Sahar, it is not helped by the fact that she is far from her person and craves that intimacy. However it is helped that Steven, Marc, and Jake all want and enjoy different kinds of sex so they can meet her needs more easily.

#No but really i have been rotating comic verse sahar and marc for a long while now #Thank you my friend!#x: sunlight #x: its a little more complicated than that #sahar mahin oc

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kath-artic · 6 months

Text

moar

since im on the topic i wanna play around in this space a little more

growing up i was a very private person. sure, my best friends knew about problems at home and my struggles with mental health, but i never talked to them about the things i cared about or the people i liked. love was such a valuable thing that to talk about it frivolously seemed sinful and just downright disrespectful to the concept. it had to be protected. this is unfortunately why i stayed in my first relationship for so long. i foolishly thought that i was somehow about infatuation and frivolous love. i thought id know it when i found it and that id never let it go, so i couldnt just admit id made a mistake. regardless, friendships to me were always about being too in the moment to care about anything else. friendship was about silent understanding and play. most of my high school friends were like this. we never talked about our lives outside of school save for one or two times, but we all knew we were all going through something so we'd all keep each other busy all night. we wouldnt leave the school until the janitors kicked us out and then we'd wander the town. every now and then someone would break down and cry and we'd sit there and hold each other, but talking about it hardly seemed necessary at that time. it wasnt until the dam broke for me at the end of my senior year that i started really opening up about stuff. that was my brief Therapy phase. i became obsessed with talking about the trauma id gone through and didnt know how to be someone outside of it for a while, but that was a horrible person to be for me. i feel bad for her and it was important that i was her for a time, but im glad im not anymore. she taught me how to be open, but every time i opened up i exploded and it never felt all that fulfilling. in fact, i found that me "trauma dumping" was just me trying to answer everyones questions before they started prying so theyd think i had nothing to hide. i was afraid of people knowing me at that time. what's more, the concept of meeting new people was exhausting at that time because to know me at that time was to know what id been through and it was hard having to go through it again and again.

leaving fixed me. ive said it before but it remains true. ive realized i love a blank slate and ive realized that knowing me is an innate quality some people do or dont possess in varying degrees. ive realized my story is mine and that i generally like being private because i really only like sharing when i think i'll be understood or when i think it's necessary to expose people to new possibilities. i like knowing lots of people, i like knowing them deeply and intimately, but not necessarily constantly. i dont want people to run dry by dumping all their is to know at my feet at once, which is why i think space is so necessary for me. old friends reaching out is such a joy because theyre a new person at this point! new friends are such a joy because they tend to feel as though theyre old friends! i just like for my circle to be full of as many people who are distinctly themselves as possible and i like to learn something. i know sometimes i have to be the teacher, but i vastly prefer equal exchanges. there are few people i never grow tired of, but they tend to also be the ones who think similarly and likewise go off on their own from time to time. we maintain a healthy distance even though we could just as easily talk forever and ever and never grow bored. i think thats the kind of relationship i can have only one of at a time and its something i reserve for romatic partners. a romantic partner is someone who is eternally interesting. someone i can be close to and still find more new things about. i still like to have space, but the closeness wouldnt make me squirm. we could talk forvever and ever and maybe we just will. idk. but there it is

#personal rant

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ourlasttimebook · 11 months

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Chapter 2

4 years ago.. "That would be all in the US as of today's twenties of the twentieth century. We will repeat the curriculum for two more lessons and then write a test. Do you have any questions?" Saga asked while she put the materials in the folder for an hour. "How many pages will the test be long for?" The girl in the back bench asked.

"Probably only on the double-sided A4 page, but there will be only the most important of the subject matter." Saga smiled. Since it looked like no one else had a question, Saga was allowed to go to her cabinet. Saga went to the cabinet and placed the materials folder next to the other folders. She sat down at her desk, opened her laptop, and began to prepare a test in Word. "You don't plan to go home yet?" Saga’s older colleague, Penny, who was leaning back from the cabinet door asked. "No, I still have to get some things done, and I'm still finishing the history test what's next week." She turned her head to Penny and smiled. "God Saga! You have no life at all! You're supposed to go to parties with your friends, get to know men, and not work all the time!" Saga laughed quietly, shook her head slightly, and devoted herself to her work. "I'm 23, I still have plenty of time for things like that." Saga replied. "Just don't let Saga regret it one day," Penny said, and went to her cabinet. Saga sighed, put her work in her laptop, grabbed her laptop, and went home. Saga walked to the bus stop. There were few people there today, for the fact that it was Friday and it was 03:00 in the evening.

It wasn't long before Saga got on the bus that had arrived a few minutes earlier and drove home. Saga arrived home after ten minutes. She was still living with her parents because she couldn't afford her own apartment yet. Saga unlocked the door and walked in. She took off her shoes and went to greet her mother and father. "I'm home," Saga said with a smile on her face, hugging her mother and father. "What do you do at home Saga? It's Friday night and tomorrow is Saturday, so you don't have to go to work." Saga sighed again. It annoys her because everyone has been telling her this since she was 18 years old. "You look lonely and that bothers me." Without a word, Saga turned around and walked up the stairs to her room. She slammed the door behind her. Her mother heard the blow. "You probably shouldn't say such things to her," Saga's father said, drinking tea. Saga's mother walked to the door. "Leave her alone now. She should probably be alone for a while now." "Do you think I'm putting too much pressure on her, about being alone and having no one?" Saga's mother asked in her husband's sad voice. "You could say yes," he took a breath to continue. "She's only 23 after all, she still has a life ahead of her." Saga's mother understood what her husband meant, so she just nodded her head and said nothing.

Meanwhile, saga changed into an oversize dark blue hoodie and long black leggings in her room. She sat down on the bed with her laptop and covered herself with a blanket. Saga began to think over the words of her mother. "Am I weird when I don't feel lonely? What if I'm lonely but I just don't want to admit it?" Their questions were interrupted by a silent knock on her door. "Come in," Saga said, putting a trickle of her longer brown hair behind her ear. "Saga can I talk to you for a moment?" "Yes Mom, you can," Saga said, lowering her eyes. Her mother came to Saga and sat behind her on the edge of the bed. "I wouldn't want you to be sad, I just don't want you to be alone all the time. Being alone all the time is not very good for mental health." Saga looked at her mother. "I understand what you mean, but I'm really fine and I'm fine. I don't feel lonely and don't forget that I have friends you're always in touch with." Her mother grabbed her hands.

"Mom, I promise you I'll find a friend, but give me some more time." Her mother smiled. "Okay Saga." She got out of bed and walked away from the Saga room. As a result, their conversation ended well and Saga was able to return to her activity.

In a nearby town at the same time..

Neo had already had half an hour of boxing training in a smaller gym, which he had arranged in one of the rooms in his house. He was interrupted from his training by his phone, which began to vibrate. Neo stopped boxing, wiped his sweat with a towel he put over his shoulder, and went to pick up the phone. The display showed his mother calling him. "Damn!" said Neo, because he knew in advance what was coming. "Neo, I haven't heard you for how long you were?" Before he could answer, he took his dark hair out of his eyes. "Okay, luckily there wasn't much at work today, so I came home early," Neo said, turned off the light in the room and went to the kitchen to drink. "I wanted to talk to you about something." "I'm going to guess, you want me to finally find a wife and have children with her, don't you?" Neo sounded pretty angry because he'd been listening to this for quite a while. "Neo, you know I mean well with you. I don't want you to end up alone, you're already 35 years old, and I'd like to have grandchildren." His mother was insistent on this. Neo sat down in a chair at the table, wondering for a moment what he should say to her. "You know I can't find a girlfriend because of my job. I would then be sorry that I could not devote myself to it so often, because you yourself mother know that sometimes it happens that I have to leave for a longer period of time." Neo's mother didn't take it as an argument. "Give it a chance, at least give it a try, or are you still struggling about that one night with that woman?" Neo was surprised that his mother used such stupidity as an argument. "It's been 12 years and it has nothing to do with it." Neo sighed. "Okay, I'll try to find a girlfriend, but if it doesn't work out, don't be disappointed," he said, and ended the call. Neo put the phone on the table and drank water. "Now I'll have to do it, otherwise she won't give me peace."

He took back his phone and went to his room to get his things. In the room he took a towel that he had placed on a chair andwent to take a hot shower. While Neo was in the shower, his niece Nellie called him, but she couldn't reach him. After about 15 minutes, Neo came out of the shower and wiped his wet hair with a towel. He looked at the phone to see what time it was, but instead noticed that Nellie had called him. He quickly called Nellie back. It wasn't long before Nellie picked up the phone. "Didn't I interrupt you from something important uncle?" Nellie asked in an innocent voice. "No, all right. What's going on?" He asked with a smile on his face. "I'm going to have my 15th birthday party next week, and I'd like you to be at my party, I haven't seen you in a long time, I miss my uncle," Nellie said, her cheerful voice turning into a quiet, sad voice. "You know I'll come, I miss you too Nellie. Do you have any special wish that you would like to receive as a birthday present?"

Nellie thought. "I'd like another book." "A book?" Neo asked in astonishment. "Yeah, a book. Then I'll send you a list of books I already have, so you don't accidentally buy me something I already have. Oh, and the celebration will be next Friday at 04:00 in the afternoon at our home, so I'll be waiting for you," Nellie said with joy in her voice. "Well I'll be there." Neo said and ended their call. "I just hope something doesn't happen at work next Friday, I wouldn't want to disappoint Nellie by not coming." Neo said this to himself and went for sleep in his room for a moment. Meanwhile, on her laptop, Saga was looking for more books to buy and read.

She stared for a moment at the piece of paper on which she had written about 30 books. "Great, in the bookstore I wanted to go tomorrow, they only have 10 books from my list." She sighed. "Well, I'll buy the rest some other time." Saga wrote down the paper, the books she could buy, turned off her laptop and put it on the floor and led it to the bedside table. She put the paper on her bedside table and turned on Instagram on her phone. On the homepage, she began to show photos of her former classmate, who had recently been married.

She had a verybeautiful long dress with lace. She had a small crown in her hair, like a princess, and she looked very happy. After all, it was her big day and she married the man she loved so much. Saga looked at all the photos her former classmate posted on Instagram and began to think.

"What if the mother is right? What if I'm lonely but I just don't want to admit it?" She shook her head and pushed the thought away. After all, it wasn't too easy for Saga. She listened to this almost every day for several years. Even as far as her friends were concerned, she wasn't doing very well. She had only one friend of hers for whom she would be able to lay down her life.

But even this her mother reproached her, not as often as the fact that she should find a boyfriend, but it was still quite painful for Saga. Saga finally turned off her phone and in the clothes she was in, she went for a walk down the street for a moment to clear her head of the thoughts that were eating away at her inside.

#books #authors #romance #debut author #debut book #on wattpad #ebook #amazon #mystery #novella #new adult #anxienty

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your-mums-nuts · 2 years

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62 "I'm just so tired " with Regan!

It's always fucking more,more, more with him.

Maybe he's hoping she'll relent and let him move back in, maybe he's hoping she'll forgive him, maybe he's just an asshole of a dad that likes to see his daughter suffer.

It's probably the third one.

He knows she does the extra work for her friends so what does he do? Double their work AND her work AND throws in a few useless assignments for shits and giggles.

And then there's her secret lab, the one with robotus, the one that contains her life work. Oh yeah he found that too. And what did he do, congratulate her? Leave it alone?

Fuck no, he tore it down, suspended her and gave her extra paperwork as punishment.

Reagan just needs another coffee, another energy drink, another missed call from her friends and another sleepless night. She'll feel better tomorrow, she can sleep when she's dead, just one more paper will do.

Another missed call, it's from Brett.

It's the seventeenth he's left in this single hour, maybe he's in trouble, she should probably pick up the phone. But she can't, she has to finish off his status report of the moon incident, really she's helping him out.

Reagan makes a deal with herself, five more minutes, then she stops. Five minutes becomes ten which becomes half an hour which becomes an hour which becomes multiple hours.

A knock on the door, could just be in her head, Reagan isn't sure what's real and what's fake at this point.

Another knock, should probably get to the door, can I even move? Should I even? It's probably not anything important.

A knock, a slam and in the corner of her eye Reagan can see her front door hit the ground.

"Reagan!" It's Brett, we like Brett, Brett's nice.

"why weren't you answering your phone I was so worried!" Brett doesn't sound nice, he's got his angry face. "Whaaat" Reagan pretended not to be tired as shit, though she's sure her eyebags are providing proof as she looks Brett in the eye for the first time in a week.

"don't bullshit me Reagan what are you even-" he makes his way across the apartment in a few quick strides and instantly leans in to inspect her work. "Why are you writing up Gigi's request for a mental health day?" He flickers through the other recent files " and Andres detox report and Mycs self observation and Glenn's scape zoning?".

She's so dead, the room is spinning, or maybe Brett's spinning, is she spinning??

Brett's not spinning, she knows because he turns away from her, almost in disgust, or it could be disappointment, probably both. "Do you think we're incapable of doing our own work Reagan, because I know I'm not as smart as you but I know how to do my own status report thank you very much, need I remind you I went to an Ivy league school and- Reagan are you okay?".

Too much spinning, Reagan throws up.

It's quick but big and nasty and that's what she gets for not consuming any food for 48 hours. Brett rushes in to hold her, speaking words of comfort and questions with the aim to soothe her, but she can only stare at the ruined work on her desk, hours and days spent hunched over her desk, for nothing. It's all been for nothing, hadn't her father said she was only an insurance to him, so really, her life amounted to nothing and she was nothing.

A stray tear, then multiple tears, then a steady flowing river and a choked sob.

"Reagan! Reagan its okay, the team will help you sort this out tomorrow, okay? Tell me what's wrong Reagan I'll try and fix it". His kind words and strong loyalty broke her down completely and she was an ugly, sobbing mess in his arms, abandoning the chair and sinking to her knees, Brett fell slowly down with her.

She stopped sobbing after a bit and the crying seemed to help her mental state out a bit because she looked Brett in the eye and said "I'm just so tired" and then after a beat "he's made my life a living hell".

Brett understood, he was smart like that, and he took Reagan by the hand and led her to her bedroom, tucking her in and putting away the half-empty cups of coffee left littered around her apartment. He'd seen glimpses before but never thought she could get this bad. Brett updated the team on the situation, no one but Gigi saw it because it was after all 3am, but she expressed her worry and offered to come over first thing tomorrow to help out.

With that sorted Brett pulled out the couch, made a little bed for himself, and fell asleep. His mind a vast emptiness besides the extreme worry and concern he had for his friend Reagan.

#brett hand #reagan ridley #inside job #breagan #fanfic prompts #i loved writing this #our poor girl #shes lovely #bretts loves her sm #gigi inside job #i wrote this instead of sleeping #im proud of this #inside job drabble #reagan ridley drabble #inside job fanfic

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protect-anthony-edward-stark · 3 years

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Did they watch the same movies as us..? 🤦‍♀️

First, how can they blame Tony for not picking up the phone? After all that happened in Civil War?

- tony found out that his parents were murdered, and saw them die on video in front of him.

- he found out that his friend in whom he trusted knew about it, didn't tell him, and continued to lie.

- he ended up being betean with such hatred that they almost killed him, when they were already the ones who had just hurt him.

- and they leave him alone there with a dysfunctional armor, physically and psychologically hurt.

Plus, Tony was obviously going to call, (otherwise why would he take the phone with him everywhere he went, even when he was just going for a jog with Pepper?)

He just took a few seconds before calling the man who broke him (and never even apologized) Because yes, feelings exist..

And another thing, when will they understand that Tony signed the Accords to protect people? It was requested by 117 countries. Tony listened to them, and understood them. (he didn't feel above them or above the laws, unlike team cap.)

He did what he had to do, even if he was not really happy about it either, to protect the population from collateral damage.

And how can they compare Tony to Hydra.. If anyone here had anything to do with hydra, I'll just point out that Wanda actually joined them deliberately at one point. (not to mention that she also joined ultron and unleashed the hulk on a city..) And in order to "destroy", when Tony just did everything to "protect."

Finally.. when will they stop blaming his ego?? What ego? All I see is a broken man, who hates himself, blames himself for everything, and always puts others before himself without ever receiving anything in return.

Since I saw a lot of these antis these days.. here is a little reminder that

Tony Stark is absolutly NOT a villain ⬇️

IRON MAN 1: the first thing he notices when he's captured by terrorists is that they have his weapons and the harm they can do with them. And he prefers to be tortured and die than to do what they want. When he return to the US after months of capture, the first thing he does is to announce that he shut down stark industries because it was more important for him than his health. Then he take responsabity for what Stane did, risks his life to save everyone, and says he's rather DIE than not do that. And, he sacrifice himself to prevent Stane from using his suit.

IRON MAN 2: his arc reactor kills him and using the suit accelerates his poisoning but he continues to help people. he's going to die but he thinks of others, he gives his company to pepper, his collections to kids, and organizes the stark expo, to help science one last time. he does everything to keep his armors and prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. and at the end he goes at the expo with a new arc reactor and without a test. not knowing the risk. to get there faster and save everyone.

AVENGERS: he had been rejected from the avengers project but when the shield needs him he comes to help. (and he researches their purpose to make sure he's not helping the wrong people.) + he's the one who doesn't treat banner like a monster when everyone else did. he sacrifices himself again, sending the nuke into the wormhole. and the first thing he does after the battle of NY, is to transform his tower into the Avengers tower (with personalized floors for each of them) to give them a home and a family, and create organizations to protect people.

IRON MAN 3: he saw the aliens and he knows something is going to happen. he sacrifices his health, spending day and night without sleep, making new suits, to protect his loved ones and everyone. when his house exploded he save pepper and tells her to save maya instead of him. he has ptsd, anxiety attacks, nightmares, but never stops fighting, and when the mandarin arrives he goes to stop him. + he doesn't hesitate to remove his arc reactor and suffers to save the kid who bullied harley.

AVENGERS 2: wanda shows him a traumatic vision, his biggest fear, all his fiends dead. he knows that they will not be strong enough alone and wants to stop that from coming true, so he creates ultron/vision. he blame himself and always think he didn't do enough. he says that is the avengers die, he'd rather die with them. he couldn't bear to outlive them, and he sacrifices himself again in sokovia by going under the flying city and blowing it up.

CIVIL WAR: he listens to the 117 countries, he want everyone to be safe and sign the accords to prevent collateral damage. he save wanda bucky steve from jail, offer medical care for bucky and protect wanda from blame. (and he asks vision to stay with her because he knows she likes him). he does everything to avoid the fights and keep everyone together. he's injured, rhodey is paralized, they all betrayed him, but he still goes to help steve. and even after all that he continues to create new things for them, to protect them..

HOMECOMING: the first thing he does after he gets back from siberia, after all the trauma he's been through, is to take peter home. (peter was already spiderman and tony just gave him more protection with a new suit.) he watches over him, protects him, supports him. he asks him to stay away from danger, he takes care of him like his dad never did for him, he made everything he might need in his suit from his own experience, he teaches him to take responsibility. he doesn't want him to go through the same suffering he went through

INFINITY WAR: he did everything to protect everyone, even if they never listen and blamed him. during 6 years he constantly fears an attack, he carries steve's phone everywhere, he made new armors and even implanted a new arc reactor in his skin. he just wanted to live with pepper but when thanos arrives, he goes into space, alone, to face his biggest fear. he face him with his bare hand and he sacrifice himself, begging strange to let him die and not to give the stone for him.

ENDGAME: he's afraid to lose his family and he didn't want to die, but he's still going to help the avengers. even when he finally had a reason to live, when he has a home, a wife, daughter, that he was so close from happiness, he sacrifices all this for a world that doesn't even love him.

tony always did everything for the avengers, he always treated them like family, he made them equipment and took care of them, he did everything to keep them together.. even if they are not there for him, he's always there for them.

he's always full of attention for everyone like making them smoothies after battle, or remembers little details about them. he pays attention to the feelings of everyone and helps and comfort them. he always makes sure that they are okay.

he takes responsability for everything, creates organizations and the iron legion, pays to help repair the damage, gives scholarships, always takes care of people during battle, he evacuates the places, and when there's no time he keeps the danger away by drawing it towards himself.

he's always the one who suffers the most, he has been through the worst traumas but never stop. his priority has always been others. he sacrificed everything, his physical and mental health, his life and his happiness. always ready to risk his life, suffer and die to save everyone.

how can some people be so wrong about him.. how can they hate the man who does everything for his friends, his family.. who sacrifices everything for them and for absolutely everyone..?

this man has the biggest heart and the best soul 💖💖

#tony stark #iron man #tonystark #avengers #pepperony #endgame #morgan stark #tony stark defense squad #pepper potts #tony stark deserves better #i love tony stark #i miss tony stark

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lunaekalenda · 3 years

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hi! can I request warriors + colt with a s/o that suffers from schizophrenia? you can not write if you are uncomfortable with this! 👉👈

i'll try my best honey! i hope you like it and that i get it right! <3

a/n: in order to make a proper headcanons, i consulted some health articles and essays about how to support a partner who suffers from schizophrenia, and it also helped me a lot to understand more about this, so writing this was a learning experience for me. i’ll copy some articles down in the headcanon <3 since it is a huge diagnosis, i took too long to write it, but i didn’t want to mess it up or be disrespectful towards anyone. also thanks to @levisgirll for all your help sweetie! also sorry for short bert and annie :')

please, if you see any error, for little it can be, correct me!

remember mental health is AS IMPORTANT as physical health, and searching help doesn’t make you a coward, it shows how strong you are. don’t be afraid to search help on friends or professionals! :D

❁ shingeki warriors!

❁ reiner, porco, pieck, annie, bertholdt, colt.

❁ w: schizophrenia (just in case)

reiner:

- he'll be really comprehensive and caring.

- he decides by himself to speak to the profesional who treats you to know everything you’ll need

- he’s really patient, so he won’t yell at you or get mad because he knows it is involuntary.

- reminds you of the pills in case you forget about them.

- he doesn't hesitate to sit next to you when you feel how reality starts to disappear, making you feel conected to Earth again.

- he always tells you how well you're bearing with it.

- "you're so strong, my love."

porco:

- he decided to assist to couple therapy, he has read you could have difficulties expressing all your symptoms by yourself, he wants to help.

- he also thinks it is a good way to start to introduce himself in your routines, making him someone you can relay on.

- he didn’t knew that much about it, so he spends afternoons reading articles.

- he just wants you to feel understood, that’s why he puts that much effort.

- he doesn’t tell you he has read that, he’ll just keep learning, and then he's able to talk about it with you.

- also, he's quick recognizing symptoms and having a list of your medicines.

pieck:

- she's always caring for you, always alert in case you disassociate.

- she has a little notebook on her bag with emergency numbers and all your symptoms

- she's the one that buys your medicines once the doctor tells her wich ones.

- she's really methodic when she orders them, always checking twice how many of them you have to take and if they're the right quantity of mendicine in each.

- sometimes you cry, because you're tired of pills. she'll hug you.

- "i know it is difficult, but you can bear with it, i'm sure!"

annie:

- she always talks to you calmly if she sees you're about to lose control of yourself.

- she'll ask you to breath and center all your attention in her voice.

- "now inhale. that's it..."

bertholdt:

- he always tries to make you feel comfortable

- when you start with a word salad, he'll listen quietly to you and search a connection between all the words you've said.

- in case you want to say something important.

- if not, he'll try to make you laugh, making combinations of the words you say as if they were short stories.

colt:

- he will not doubt to call a profesional to make sure he's taking good care of you.

- he won't make you feel constantly spied, he'll just observe you in silence while you two are sharing a lazy afternoon, for example.

- he knows how important is making you feel that he loves you, because you're a person and not your illness. And that's how everybody should see you.

- they told him it helps you to want to continue with treatment, making you feel encouraged towards it.

- he always divides home chores to make you occupied, because that can help you a lot.

- "baby, today you'll be cleaning the windows, hm?"

links:

relationships and schizoprenia

some doctors answer a girl’s question (spanish link)

story of a couple (spanish link)

how to help (spanish link)

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conscious-love · 2 years

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Hi, idk if you can help me with this but my mum is suffering from anxiety and it's causing some rifts in our relationship because I am also suffering from anxiety and low self esteem (maybe depression but still waiting on results) it just feels like my feelìngs don't matter when I bring up my issues, it always seems to rotate back to how she feels and how it's "so much worse".

For example, she left her job due to how bad her mental health is but when I was stuck in a really bad work space and was causing me to have mental health issues, I had to stick at it and not be so "dramatic". (This was like my very first job btw)

I've had anxiety for years and she's only had it the last few years but it just somehow feels like a competition between us both and I don't want that. I want my mother, I just want to be understood but I'll feel like an asshole if I tell her this, I don't want to disregard her feelings but I'm tired of feeling like she's disregarding mine.

How should I approach this?

Hello ��🏻

My first advice is:

Talk to a therapist

Kindly suggest to your mom that she talk to a therapist

It sounds like she’s relying on you to validate and regulate her emotions, and is so preoccupied with her own suffering that she sees yours as a threat, like it somehow diminishes her own. She would benefit from talking to someone whose job it is to listen, affirm her feelings, and help her sort out her problems; feeling seen and understood by them would likely take the burden off of you.

You should not have to regulate anyone’s emotions. Certainly not your mother’s. If she has a history of parentifying you, this would be another thing to bring up with your therapist, as this codependent mother-child dynamic has likely caused issues that you carried into adolescence/adulthood.

You said you want your mother, that is a perfectly valid and natural thing to want. She is supposed to nurture you and be there for you. Parental relationships are not like other relationships. When we become adults, the relationship becomes a bit more reciprocal, but even then, they are still our parents. They don’t need to take care of us, but they should be supportive, and they shouldn’t put their emotional burdens on us. They can share it with us, but they should not make us responsible.

If you’re an adult, you do not have to put up with her venting her frustrations on you. If you’re not an adult, my advice would be different, so reach out again if this is the case, or talk to a therapist (who could help you more).

“I don't want to disregard her feelings but I'm tired of feeling like she's disregarding mine”

You don’t have to disregard her feelings to let her know she’s been disregarding yours. You can tell her this while still being sensitive to her problems and suffering. You do not have to invalidate her, but you will have to upset her. It sounds like she’s used to being the “important one” in your dynamic, so you breaking that pattern will disrupt her, and she may feel hurt or angry, at least at first. That’s her problem, not yours, although you should still be kind and receptive as she processes it. It is NOT your job to make her feel better or cheer her up after you express your hurt feelings and your needs. If you want the conversation to go as well as what is in your power, and you want the chance to remain close to her, you will need to be loving, but you should NOT take responsibility for her. The whole point of this discussion is to pass back the responsibility of managing her emotions — because that’s her job, not yours.

“I’ll feel like an asshole if I tell her this”

First of all, there is nothing inherently mean about what you want to say to her. The only thing that could make it mean is how you say it and how you respond to her afterward. If you speak lovingly (but firmly), then you will be kind enough, and if she responds negatively that’s her fault.

Also, consider your own feelings — they are what’s most important here, because they are yours to protect and advocate for. You have no control over her emotions, nor should you. The only one who should take on the responsibility of managing her emotions is her.

You’re taking too much of the responsibility, harbouring guilt that should not rightly belong to you, and caring about her needs more than your own (likely because she trained you to do so). She has been dismissing your feelings and invalidating your problems. You’ve been sitting with this burden for quite some time, and it’s time that she shares this burden. She is the main or sole cause, so she should share responsibility. She’s causing harm and she should know about it; her conscience will punish her appropriately, and then she has the chance to rectify what she’s done. Guilt is a useful emotion; if you try to shelter her from that, you’re hindering her growth and hurting your relationship with her. Letting her feel that guilt could bring the two of you closer, and for that she would be grateful.

To recap,

Tell her how all of this has made you feel

Ask for what you need (set boundaries)

Be compassionate and gentle but do NOT try to regulate her emotions

If she doesn’t respond well at all, take care of yourself (not her)

And regardless of how the discussion goes:

Talk to a therapist if you can

Suggest that she talk to a therapist (or at least to other people)

If you live with her and cannot move out, I’m sorry you’re stuck in this type of environment. I’m sure this has been weighing you down, and probably impacting other parts of your life. I hope she responds well enough to the discussion, and that she sees the error of her ways. You deserve to feel heard and to have your feelings witnessed and affirmed.

If you don’t live with her, or you’re able to move, this is an advantage for you. If the discussion doesn’t go well, you can take a break from her and maybe try again later. And there are other people you can spend time with instead of her. You deserve to be surrounded by people who are good for you. If she can’t offer you that (at least right now), I recommend that you A) spend less time with her, and/or B) open up to her less about your problems and C) stop/limit responding to her when she tries to vent to you. If she can’t be supportive to you, you should not put in much (or any) effort to support her. Relationships should be reciprocal.

Remember that your needs are important, and the only person whose emotions you are responsible for are your own. Best of luck to you, and take care of yourself.

~ Bella ✨

#ask bella love #curse words #subjugation #codependency #caretaking #enabling #boundaries #invalidating #gaslighting #parentified child

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fuckyeahasexual · 4 years

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What counts as a trigger? I was in a toxic friendship with a narcissist for a year, and now whenever anyone comes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder it completely stuns me, like for a second I can't breathe or think or move. Whenever I see someone with a certain haircut and hair colour I irrationally hate them and get sporadic jolts of panic if I have to look at them for too long. I'll see a familiar bike, or get a call from an unknown number and I'll freeze. 1/2

Are these triggers? They really stress me out and I have to go to school tomorrow, and that person will be there. I don't want to label them as triggers if they aren't, I just want to know what the hell is wrong with me and why the mere sight of a similar hairstyle of all things sets me off. Any advice would be much appreciated, I don't know who to talk to and I'm really, really scared. 2/2

I personally count these are triggers. I don’t think policing of what counts as a trigger is helpful to anyone’s healing. I also think it’s really helpful to think of your brain as a pattern detector. So if you were in a situation that caused harm, emotional or physical, your brain in a way saves a copy of all the details it can. Even the objectively unimportant ones, but because your brain is a pattern detector it doesn’t know which are objectively useful. There’s no way for you to review details and say “This is danger” and “This isn’t danger.” So when someone does the same behaviors even common behaviors like tapping you on the shoulder or having the same haircut or color your brain can easily go “Red means danger. New person has red so new person is danger too.” But because you are more than just your brains pattern detector it’s important for you to know these triggers for a number of reasons (and loops back into why I don’t think triggers should be policed.) Because once you know the triggers, you can over time reteach your brain that haircuts are not dangerous, and better spot the patterns that actually are dangerous to you. Even if they make nervous you can remind yourself that x detail was not a factor and push past it if your boss/teacher ends up getting the same hair cut. It’s also important to know what they are when it comes to people physically interacting with you. Sometimes you can share a trigger with a friend, and say ‘hey, you are a big shoulder tapper. Could you not with me?” The purpose of a trigger is to keep you safe. Now because we can only control our own behavior knowing them big or small can help us safely move in society even if it means triggers get tripped. An example I was taught when doing suicide hotline training was there one person would always call when it got windy. Not even because she was actively suicidal but because the wind made a sound that was triggering and she knew the wind wasn’t literally a danger to her so if she reached out for help she knew could manage being triggered without it becoming bigger risk to her mental health. I think the triggers gets mocked because people take it personally. They shouldn’t. The wind for example is great, because no one assumes she thinks demands the wind stop. But for most things people do take it personally. Another common trigger I’ve seen is the smell of coffee. Now there’s whole social club’s and industries built around coffee. A trigger is not a judgment. A trigger isn’t inherently a request either. It means [X] is linked to my brain as [Y]. Now I do want to take a second to mention triggers I think do hold some judgement and the best way to do this, if you can personally handle this is the 2014 Brave New Voices (Finals) entry of "Rape Joke" by Los Angeles Team Get Lit slam poem. I think everyone can agree a rape joke is collectively more triggering than a hair cut and should interpersonally be treated differently. For example: ‘No rape jokes in class’ is a boundary that can be safely set for a group. But ‘no dyed hair’ is a different burden to apply to a group. That doesn’t make it less valid. It just implies there’s no cultural oppression linked to dyed hair. But personally, and biologically, including those who has faced sexual abuse may have triggers that aren’t culturally understood or as respected, that can seem like “little unimportant things” but they may still cause fight/flight responses or panic attacks. And personally belittling what is a “valid” trigger does not help you heal from whatever put the trigger there in the first place. That fact also does not take away from the fact that some triggers won’t keep you safe either. Both of those facts needs to be accepted within yourself. If I’m not wrong about the timing of this post, your scary event was today. And whatever happened, it’s understandable to be nervous having having a bad experience I wish you all the healing in it world, by acknowledging pain it is easier to start healing.

#tw for ts #rape culture #ableism #triggers #Anonymous #ask box #long post

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 2 years

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Good Evening everyone

1]Continuing with SWM × Persona series:

Cal

Death

Hierophant

Fortune

(maybe i read only a handful of random episodes to get hearts)

Malakai

Temperance (no pun intended,that he is the gluttony assassin)

Hanged Man

Hermit

(maybe i read only a handful of random episodes to get hearts)

Darrius

Devil

Strenght

Hope (Visconti-Sforza tarot deck, P5R only)

{maybe, since i read only a handful of random episodes to get hearts}

Onyx

Sun

Moon

Faith{Visconti-Sforza tarot deck, P5R only}

(maybe, since i read only a handful of random episodes to get hearts)

Nahara

Priestess

Fortune

Hierophant

(maybe, since i read only a handful of random episodes to get hearts)

Vinca

(#We need her route asap)

Moon

Death

Chariot

2]For what i've found around the Web,it seems that Cecelia final season suffered of what i nicknamed 'Games of Throne Syndrome":rushed ending that nearly destroyed a good story(ok i get that for what i know the need to finish a story so they can have more time to write but we lovestruck fans we're no hurry,we can wait months or years wich happened for Cal from SWM if i remember well,so the various stories gets their proper endings.

3] Can someone draw the Sin With Me characters Persona styles like this:

and they respective arcana and persona.

PS:

1]Between Cdprojekt Red,EA and if the news tha former writer of Xenia of RP its true.....it really disheartened,Everyone please let yourselves to be heared,this is unacceptable,i understood the need

to earn money to run your activities but not at the cost of the well-being and health of your employees after all it's thanks to them if your activities go on and allowed the creation of that are true forms of art:video games, films, arts itself and much more.

2]...and Yes i'm still upset about Yvette S3 ending,Vuzgamad even sealed up.......You! Still! Ruin! Everything! For! Them! Come on girls, your bond is your strength you'll overcome this as you did in previous seasons!!! This time both of you will grapple down the demoness of fear

And throw her into the JD home(you know what I mean]

3]And regarding Yvette and Wrath Arcana:

Yvette arcana is the Lovers and is so very true!!!

Since Yvette and MC always are at a crossroad and needing to make a decision and their struggles,hesitations and decisions between the "right" way and the "easy" way, plus they're lovers and a couple.

...You sense this is an important moment. There's no turning back.

😉

About Wrath i'll see the Emperor Arcana when i'll do her route,but i can see her as both the Leader and the Team Dad.

For Cal, maybe Fortune? I guess Death would also fit, but what stuck out to me the most in Cal's route was destiny and change. The whole prophesy thingy, for the most part.

For Malakai, Hanged Man fits. Self-sacrifice occurs a lot in his route, especially in later seasons.

For Darius, Devil, for sure. Lust is in his core lol

For Onyx, the Moon fits well. I got a sense that Onyx experienced loneliness not in the literal sense, but in the emotional one, having put up a front (an illusion) that everything was okay.

Nahara, Fortune. Her route deals with destiny and changes a lot, too.

Vinca, Death, yeah. It fits xd

And Cecilia...! She had such a good S1, I spent hearts without even noticing because it was impossible not to. Yeah, her ending was rushed, and it wasn't even graced with a good plot. It was covered in holes. But oh well... - Mod Jessa

#answered #explorya88

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snk-smartpass · 4 years

Text

Three Viewpoints Selected Cases

The Case of the Corps Tea Party - File No. 08 Annie's Side (2/3)

"…And so some of the tea shipment distributed the other day included some that was absolutely unfit for consumption. Today I need you to collect all of the tea sent to the military and give out new tea in its place. That is all."

The Military Police Brigade officer's words sounded even more stern than usual. That still didn't mean that he would rethink his tendency of handling off all his work to the recruits, though. He simply ordered them to get results fast before returning to his room.

"That's weird. The food supplies we give to the Survey Corps and Garrison are always second-rate. Why would we go this far over some bad tea?"

"While Tea might be a luxury, it's still something you put in your body. Someone would need to take the blame if anyone's health was affected."

Among her fellow recruits, Annie stood alone, wondering how she would get out of this annoying Mission.

…This is stupid.

******

The recruits began to disperse, and Annie casually turned around as she stood behind them all. In what must have been their haste, the door to the officers' quarters was cracked open.

…None of them are drinking today?

Annie noticed that the scene she glimpsed inside was different from the usual one. She split off from the others and listened in from the shadows.

"…So do you think we'll be able to find it?"

"There are only so many places it could have been distributed, so it's just a matter of time. What's annoying, though, is that some of it has already been sent off to the Survey Corps."

They were talking about the "unfit for consumption" tea. The officers seemed to be uncharacteristically frantic in their search for it, and MPs belonging to ranks so high that Annie had never seen them working before streamed in and out of the room.

The Survey Corps…

"This is Erwin we're dealing with here. If he finds it, he might even try to use it against us some day…"

Some of Annie's friends would be in the Survey Corps. Not only that, this tea seemed to be such a big deal that it had the potential to turn into a major scandal that could be used against the Military Police Brigade.

It's just some tea. Why would they be this obsessed with it? I think…it might a good idea to look into this.

Her past experiences told her that if she had a little more information, she might be able to use it as insurance if worst came worst. Annie pretended to go back to work before heading toward the records room.

******

…The day the tea we're supposed to recover was sent out, the brass was scheduled to meet with important Wallists. But…the plans were canceled right after the shipment.

Fortunately, the Military Police had plenty of time to create documents. They kept reasonably detailed records of plans and shipments going in and out.

These are yesterday's records of donations from the aristocracy… They gave money, as well as…precious metals?

"Hey, Annie. What do you think you can get done looking at records like that? Are you sleeping with your eyes open or something?"

"…Yeah, maybe."

"God, you're boring!"

Annie parried another MP's snide remarks before looking at more records.

And the records of where these metals were kept…don't exist? They were taken somewhere before they even had a chance to go into storage…

Annie understood where that "somewhere" was.

"…I get it now," she muttered so that no one else could hear, slowly shutting the records. She was done with the case now…and decided to skip as much work as she could.

******

"Make any progress, Annie? It seemed like you were looking into some sort of records the whole time," a serious recruit asked Annie, his hopes high. She had no intention of telling him the truth, though.

…I can't have any attention on me. I'll just ignore this.

"…Not really."

"Like I said, she was slacking and just pretending to work. You're the only one who took this seriously, Marlowe."

The attention was taken off of Annie thanks to another recruit who was napping alongside Annie in the records room. She couldn't help but let one thing slip out when she saw his ever-fierce attitude.

"What the officers are looking for…has probably been taken far, far away already. It's up to the MPs there now…"

"That doesn't make it alright for us to slack off, though! Sheesh…"

Still, the words didn't seem to be enough to make him take notice of anything. He was either a true idiot, or maybe what you'd call an honorable man. Annie knew people like that existed.

If the shipment was sent to the Survey Corps…I don't need to be the one acting like some kind of righteous hero.

Annie also thought the right kind of person to expose this corruption would be just that kind of person.

[ PART 1 | PART 3 ]

SOURCE: Attack on Titan: Short Stories 2

#au smartpass #aot au smartpass #snk au smartpass #smartpass #aot short stories #snk short stories #three supplementary angles #three viewpoints selected cases #annie leonhart #annie leonhardt #marlowe freudenberg #military police #survey corps #recon corps #the case of the corps tea party

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