#tag list spring 2024

[jerzwriter]

Tag List Cleanup

Hey y'all! It's that time of year again! I'd like to trim the tag list of those who have moved on to other interests and perhaps add some who would like to be on.

*NO HARD FEELINGS* if you don't want to be on it, that's 100% fine! As most creators know, tagging on Tumblr can be a nuisance, so a small list of people who really want to see content is better than a big list of people who want to be polite.

MY CURRENT LISTS ARE:

Perma (all fics, edits, commissions etc.)

Open Heart Only

Ethan Ramsey All

Ethan Ramsey x MC

Tobias Carrick

Casey x Jess

Wake the Dead

Crimes of Passion

If you'd like to be added or change the list(s) you're on, please reblog, comment, or DM me no later than 3/23/2024.

If you'd like to stay where you are, please reblog, comment, DM, or just ❤️and I'll leave you where you are.

If you'd like to be removed - either let me know or just don't interact with this post at all, and I'll remove you on 3/24/2024.

I will tag my current list below the break - just let me know. Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout my time here! 😊

Perma List (Fics, edits, commissions, etc. for all stories)

@alj4890 @annoyingmillenialnewbie @crazy-loca-blog @differenttyphoonwerewolf @genevievemd @inlocusmads @jamespotterthefirst @justyourusualash @kingliam2019 @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @onikalover @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @stars-are-within-me @tessa-liam @thosehallowedhalls @trappedinfanfiction @tveitertotwrites

Open Heart (Fics, edits, commissions, etc. for all OH content)

@alwaysmychoices @coffeeheartaddict2 @peonierose

Ethan Ramsey (All Ethan content including Ethan x MC, Ethan x OC, Platonic, etc.)

@custaroonie @mrs-ramsey @parisa-kh @zealouscanonindeer

Ethan x MC (Ethan x MC content only)

@cariantha @cryomyst @youlookappropriate

Tobias Carrick (All Tobias content)

@icecoffee90 @kyra75 @storyofmychoices

Casey x Jessica (OC)

@aallotarenunelma

Crimes of Passion (All CoP content)

@aces-and-angels @ao719 @brycesgirl @cariantha @coffeeheartaddict2 @custaroonie @kyra75 @moominofthevalley @shadyinternetblizzard @storyofmychoices @zealouscanonindeer

Wake the Dead (All WTD content)

@cariantha @kyra75 @storyofmychoices @dutifullynuttywitch

#tag list update #tag list spring 2024 #jerzwriter #playchoices #open heart #crimes of passion #wake the dead

[tessa-liam]

It's that time...

For tag list cleaning as time springs forward today!

First off, I would like to share my appreciation with all of you for indulging me as a writer this past year! ❤️🩷Your feedback and support means the world to me.

...and thank you for wanting to join me, in a new year of stories, edits and commissions!

If you'd like to be added to my new updated tag list, please re-blog or leave a comment on this post, or DM to me by March 24, 2024.

If not, that's OK too, no hard feelings⚘️

Here is my current list:

Perma tags for all:

TRR Liam & Riley: Smoke & Mirrors Series:

@ao719 @txemrn @queenmiarys @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @alj4890 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @harleybeaumont @busywoman @karahalloway @kingliam2019 @imjusthereforliam @lovingchoices14 @kyra75 @tinkie1973 @emkay512 @malblk21 @kristinamae093 @charlotteg234

@jared2612 @irisk12 @thesvnsins @walkerdrakewalker

TRR Liam & Sophie: Marabelle Series:

@charlotteg234

TRR Liam & Riley: Turning the Page Series:

@emersyn-in-cordonia @mainstreetreader @belencha77 @walkerdrakewalker @iluaaa @mysticalfangirl @queenwalton @bascmve01 @umccall71 @choicesfrog @amandablink @ownworldresident

I will start the new, updated list on March 25, 2024

#tag list update #tag list spring 2024 #the royal romance #tessa liam writes #liam rys #prince liam #riley brooks #sophie taylor #king liam

[hongjoongsart]

Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches | Choi San

💐 IMPORTANT: Re-upload from my deleted account (hongjoongspoetry).

💐 Summary: Being a mother wasn’t an item on your bucket list, never has and probably never will be. You were more than content with living a childless life and it wasn't an occurring issue before, until you brought your boyfriend on a trip to your parents’ where his love for kids unveiled right in your face. You were adamant on your choice, but scared what the future held for you and your boyfriend.

💐 Pairing(s): idol!San x f!reader

💐 Genres/Tropes: tooth rotting fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, a lil suggestive

💐 Warnings/Tags: no use of (Y/N), mentions of pregnancies, arguments, explicit language, expectations that come with being a woman, reader doesn't want babies, pushy family, emotional invalidation, listed pregnancy side effects, san with kids

💐 Wordcount: 12.2K

💐 Author's note: Here's a lil treat inspired by my fear of pregnancies. I am not a mother and I'm not trying to offend anyone who is. I haven't experienced motherhood so I wouldn't understand the complicit feelings that come with it, this is more my observation of it I guess.

Edited 22 January, 2024!

AO3 Playlist Click on me!

This is all fiction and not meant to represent San in any way or form.

Babies weren’t foreign to you even at the age of five.

You knew what they were; you had been one, your parents and siblings too, heck every living thing had been a baby at one point in their life. From the carrots growing in your grandma’s garden to the old ducks swimming in the pond down the street. 

Babies were cute. A bit annoying, but nonetheless cute. Probably the reason why your parents decided to have so many children or was it the nostalgia of holding an infant when their kids grew up to be living ticking time bombs. 

It wasn’t anything weird or something you paid attention to. It was quite simple too; people had children because they fell in love or to keep the relationship floating.

Children were simple beings. What they hear they shall question. Seeing your teacher highly pregnant, rubbing her stomach and wearing a gleeful expression, talking about birth and pregnancies and everything else coming with that had you taking in the information like a sponge absorbing water. 

“Mom, did you give birth to me?” 

“Of course, honey, I am your mom aren’t I?” You remember her gently wiping your cheek, a warm smile adorning her face.

You hummed in agreement, throwing a cut piece of steak in your mouth somewhat satisfied with her answer. Your eyes filtered between Hana and Jun, watching them push at each other’s shoulders clearly bickering over something so pointless your dad couldn’t bother stopping them. Not that it was possible, they were brought into this world together and separating them would only bring more chaos.

“Did you give birth to Hana-unnie and Jun-oppa too?”

“Yah! What do you think, airhead?!” Jun snarkily replied and got a light whack of the head by your sister.

“Sweetie, don’t hit your brother.” 

Hana rolled her eyes. “Even if he deserves it?” 

“Even if he deserves it,” your father concluded and urged them to eat. 

Another piece of meat was flung in your mouth as you stared at the family portrait behind the twins, focusing on your other siblings who moved out a long time ago and already started their own families. Your mother saw the bemused tingle covering your features.

“Go on and eat your food.”

A small pout adorned your lips, “How do you give birth?”

Your parents were more than prepared for the wonders of your mind, any question fired at them had already been answered years ago with your older siblings. That’s what they thought at least and it explained why the dinner table went pin silent as the question was flung out in the open.

The seasons changed like your father changed channels. Spring fluttered into summer quicker than expected. Budded flowers opened, the various colored roses adorning your grandma’s fence beautifully. The breeze welcomed you with open arms, proudly announcing the start of summer break. The transition between summer and autumn was slow. The rich green leaves took their time changing shades – red, orange and eventually an ugly brown that reminded you of wet mornings and cold coffees – before the howling wind swirled them away, stripping the trees of its beauty. 

As the years passed your My Little Pony boots were replaced with wedge heels and your favorite color wasn’t pink, but black – even though Jun argued black wasn’t a color – and before you knew it Hana moved out with her boyfriend, now husband, of six years. A small but evident baby bump peeking behind her knitted sweater.

You were seventeen at that time, the twins twenty-two and your remaining siblings already thirty-something. 

Her baby girl wasn’t the first grandchild of your family tree and she certainly wasn’t going to be the last either, because four years later she welcomed another child into the world just a couple of months before your brother’s wife. That made a grand total of seven grandkids, three girls and four boys.

You were very grateful to your mom for giving birth to you last and grateful for the free birth control your siblings provided you with. Despite their children having moments of incarnating the devil, they weren’t the issue to your disdain of want for a baby. 

Some said it was the lack of a boyfriend and others pointed out you being too focused on your academic studies – that your decision to start university was too hasty – depriving you of your youth, as if a newborn wouldn’t.

You saw what motherhood did to your sisters and in-laws, and it wasn’t anything you’d like for yourself. Not even after meeting your boyfriend, who you were madly in love with and he was completely head over heels for you, did your perception change. 

Babies were cute to look at, but growing one inside of you? No thanks. 

You glanced at San through the bathroom mirror, white shaving cream around his face.

“Don’t you have filming with the Return of Superman today?” 

“Yep, have to make sure the beard doesn’t scratch the kids.”

You laughed again, “Beard? I haven’t seen you with a stub in how many months now, let alone a beard.”

Your eyes met in the reflection, one of his brows raised and lips puckered as if contemplating something. He then let go of the razor and gently took hold of your waist and neck, pressing his sticky cheek against yours. You yelled out and tried to push him away, but he barely moved.

“What did you say about my beard?”

“You have a beautiful beard! So pretty and well-kept!”

San smiled brightly, dimples popping and eyes creasing as he planted a wet kiss on your forehead. 

“Thank you baby!”

The white cream was washed off with extreme care, as he was afraid of wetting your clothes and hair. 

“There you go.” He threw on a gray hoodie, black hair slightly disheveled but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with you running your hand through it. 

“I’d say thanks, but you’re at fault.”

He rested his hands on your hips, thumbs sneaking underneath the white fabric of your blouse to caress the soft skin beneath. “You’re lucky I love you.” 

Your twentieth lap around the world was filled with many experiences and emotions. You finally moved out of the countryside to the big city and found an apartment in the middle of Seoul. As much as you loved the feeling of freedom and independence you also despised it. Not having anyone waiting on you by the door, no home cooked meals or clean clothes neatly made on your bed reminded you of what you left behind. 

Although it was hard to adapt at first you managed and with the help of a friend you quickly adjusted to the busy city life. As someone wise once said; after rain came sunshine, and your sunshine was San. The boy your friend introduced you to when you still had little to no knowledge of Korean pop groups besides the older generations and singing ring-ding-dong no repeat.

At the time he was just San, a funny and caring friend you could be yourself with, occasionally going out to secluded shops for coffee and pastries. You never questioned the scenery and request of privacy, always giving people the benefit of the doubt, until a girl stopped you on your way to a morning class with the demand you tell her who you were and what connection you had to her Sannie. 

With a trembling voice you answered her truthfully, debunking any conclusions she already made up in her mind.

You didn’t go to school that day or home for that matter either, scared to be followed and questioned again by a potential lover or side-piece so you did the next best thing; stopped by a 7-eleven and spent your morning there before taking the first train to your sister’s unannounced, spilling everything like an overflowing bucket.

As the mature woman she was, she spurred you on to ask San. Saying you deserved answers to your questions and to potentially clear up any misunderstandings – if there were any of that is. 

The moment you told him about the girl, he came forward with who he was, something he admitted he should’ve done immediately, but didn’t for two reasons: a) you allowed him to be himself with no walls and b) he was worried the truth would scare you away. Heck, you were already chased just by being near him and you didn’t even know anything. To your luck, the girl wasn’t his girlfriend or a crazy ex, but a fan and San was an idol.

A few weeks after his confession your friendship progressed and blossomed into a beautiful relationship. You could proudly call him yours in the privacy of your apartment and he could wrap his arm around you – face masks and caps on of course – scaring the prying eyes of other men. He filled your solitude with the comfort and love you missed so dearly.

“Honey, have you seen my gray hoodie? I can’t find it in your wardrobe.” San stood before your closet, torso exposed and an expensive towel you can’t remember the brand of wrapped around his hips.

You were in the kitchen brewing coffee for the both of you. A plain yet pretty dress stuck tightly to your form, “Mmm, I think it’s in the basket with all the other clean clothes.”

The taps of his bare feet filled your apartment accompanied by a gasp seconds later.

“Did you find it?”

Large arms slinked around your waist and pulled you into San’s chest, he nuzzled his nose against the bare spot on your neck before peppering it with tender pecks, “Thank you, honey.”

“Always, baby. Here’s your coffee.”

You gingerly handed him the cup, but San had other plans. Ever-so-gently he titled your head sideways as his lips met yours. It was soft and made your stomach swoop as if going down a steep roller coaster. 

San had that effect on you no matter what he did. 

“You have to…get dressed or…we’ll be late,” you said between kisses. 

His chest vibrated against your back as he hummed in delight, “This is worth getting in trouble for.”

“I’m sure it is, but I don’t think Wooyoung will appreciate that.”

“I don’t care.” 

A laugh bubbled out as you rewarded him with one last kiss to the cheek. Eventually you both parted ways. San went first, wearing an obligatory cap and mask while meeting up with his manager further down the street and you followed shortly after, taking the commute to your workplace. 

“So,” you started after placing the pot on the table between your plates, immediately filling San’s, “my parents invited us to theirs next week.”

He nodded, “I think I can make it, but I’ll have to double-check with the guys and managers.”

It was the first date night in weeks where both of you were free from work and had enough energy to meet up. You originally invited all the boys, but San was keen on keeping you to himself, claiming he wanted some alone time. If it were up to him he’d see you everyday even for just five minutes, arguing that the short time could give him the motivation to work harder. In return you reminded him the journey from his dorm to your place was a thirty minute long drive without traffic, the energy he’d get would evaporate in seconds.

“It’s okay if you can’t make it, Sannie. I know you guys have a lot to do, especially with the release of your new album.”

“Mmm, don’t worry about that. We’ll see first, but I’m telling you now. I want to go.” He reached for your hand across the small table and you returned the sentiment with a squeeze before beckoning him to eat.

You took notice of his upturned lips and crescent moon eyes. It wasn’t an unusual sight, San was always in a good mood and when he wasn’t he still mustered up a smile warm enough to brighten your day.

“What are you smiling about?” You teased, carrying a grin of your own.

“You should have seen the kids the other day, they were so cute.”

“Oh, it completely slipped my mind to ask. How was it?”

“It was fun and they were so, so cute. All of them really.”

“I can imagine, Sannie.”

“I don’t want to say too much, you still have to wait for the episode, but ohhh! I can’t stop smiling.”

You chuckled and enjoyed seeing your boyfriend suffer a hard case of baby fever. San loved kids, put that man near a kid and anyone in one mile radius would see it. That was how you found out. 

You were babysitting your niece one random Thursday night, your brother claiming ‘you owed him’ for something you did in your childhood days that was long forgotten. San asked if you were free that same night, but you sadly turned him down, briefly explaining the situation and voilá. The date was moved from a five star restaurant to your living room with blankets and ice cream and a toddler with bigger love for Bluey than her aunt.

San’s love for kids wasn’t something he expressed with you, but rather something you saw through gentle touches and light coos, a few stolen pecks here and there.

It wasn’t an issue to you. In all honesty, it was attractive because how many men did you know who actually showed interest in their children? How many dads knew their kids’ birth dates or their favorite ice cream flavor?

And yeah, you felt the same. Your nieces and nephews were cute, especially when they wore matching clothes for Chuseok and Christmas. Don’t even get you started on their birthday costumes.

But it wasn’t enough to make you want one. 

It wasn’t worth the nine month long journey of fatigue, mood swings, nausea, stretch marks and not to mention the painful process of giving birth and what came after; potentially loss of teeth, tearing the perineum, hair loss… the list is truly endless.

Not wanting kids wasn’t a problem until you stumbled into San who carried a love big enough for the whole population of South Korea. 

“I can’t wait till we have kids,” San admitted as you stuffed your mouth with a spoonful of rice.

The clock hanging above the kitchen entrance didn’t freeze but you sure did. The words would make anyone squeal and melt at once, however they washed over you like a big cold wave in the atlantic ocean and sent your food into the wrong pipe. San jumped up from his seat and patted your back while opening a can of coke with his other hand. 

“Drink this.” He pushed the beverage in your hands and waited to make sure you were alright. The coughing didn’t stop but at least you could breathe. “Better?”

You sent him a nod, not trusting your voice to keep its cool. San didn’t question the lack of response to his blunt statement nor why you nearly choked to death. The night ended with you two hastily filling the dish machine and cuddling together on the couch with you laying on top of him. A boring movie played on the big TV while you basked in each other’s embrace. 

Halfway through the movie you cleared your throat, not being able to shake the conversation from earlier, “You want kids?”

“Not right now, but someday,” San said, one hand under his head and the other rubbing your back. He then glanced down at you. “Don’t you?”

You turned so your chin rested on his chest, noses almost touching and his peppermint breath fanning your face.  The simple two letter word was stuck in your throat, and like the coward you were you swallowed them down with guilt. You shot him a quick smile and even manually crinkled your eyes to make it more believable.

Twenty minutes later and San was out like a light, the hectic schedules and plenty of sleepless nights getting to him in the end. Sleep didn’t come as easy to you. Mind too occupied with thinking, thinking and more thinking. Tears blurred your eyes and you didn't know if they were from the stuffy room or the guilt bubbling in your abdomen. 

The incident was pushed under the rug in your living room, neither bringing it up again nor the topic of a future family, mainly because you were both drowning in work and adult responsibilities. The days passed in a flash and when Friday came around San was parked outside the building early in the morning, welcoming you with a preheated seat and a cup of steaming hot coffee. 

“The twins and their kids are the only ones who could come. Mimi-unnie’s little ones caught the flu and Jin couldn’t get away from work.”

Coming from a rather small family and then moving in with seven men he considered brothers was quite the change for young San, so hearing that neither Mimi or Jin, and their respective families, could make it made him deflate.

“That’s unfortunate. We haven’t seen them in a long time.”

“Yeah, but at the same time I can already feel the headache coming from having seven kids running around all day.”

“That’s how Hongjoong must feel all the time.”

The image of seven twenty-something-year olds running around as toddlers and an exhausted Hongjoong not far behind them popped up in your head and brought out a laugh. Then last week’s phone call with your mother interrupted the vision and you got serious again. 

“Did you bring spare clothes? Mom said they were warning of a rainstorm.” 

“Yep. It’s in the trunk with your things.”

Your hands rested on your lap and San, feeling the need to touch you, gently intertwined your fingers with his and placed a kiss to the back of your hand. He occasionally withdrew when changing gears before resuming his hold. The ride was long and by the time you arrived you were exhausted despite not doing anything but passing San snacks every once in a while. 

Squeals of joy and multiple little feet padding against the hardwood floor had your lips curling upwards as you opened the door. You crouched down and were greeted with two kids catapulting in your embrace.

“Hello little chicks,” you said and planted a kiss on the crown of their heads.

“Did you miss us?” Borah asked, her small hands tightening around your neck leaving barely any room for her little brother. 

Before you could reassure her the door opened behind you and in came San, thus stealing the lovely cuddle session right from beneath your nose.

“Uncle San!”

He lifted both children in his arms and beamed at their giggles and kicking legs. You craned your head up, eyes trailing up to San’s closed ones, and your heart swelled with love. He looked like he belonged right there surrounded by tiny humans with toothless smiles and snotty noses.  

A tug at your sleeve had your head whipping forwards, “Kai,” you cooed at the youngest of the batch earning a blurb of happy noises.

The hallway proceeded to be crowded by the rest of the house. Hugs and kisses were exchanged with your family and out of the corner of your eyes you could see San exchanging a firm handshake with your father.

“You’re right in time for dinner!” Your mother gleefully exclaimed and ushered you inside, the little ones slinking around her legs like overly fed kittens mooching for more food.

The first hour was spent catching up and talking about everything you’ve missed out on in each other’s lives. Your father initiated small talk with San, asking him about the drive there and if he had a lot of work even wondering how the rest of Ateez were doing. To your relief your parents treated him as their third son and your siblings weren’t opposed to the idea of another brother.

You sat in between Jun and Jisoo – his wife – giving her all of your attention. Apparently she was in the middle of her second trimester, something you just found out. You sent Jun a quick glare and a whack to the back of his head, and as he was about to fight back he slumped back in his seat all thanks to the stern eyes of his wife.

“Here let me help you, mom.” 

San ventured into the open kitchen and took the plates from your mother’s hands. She tried stopping him but it was to no avail, once a gentleman, always a gentleman. So she did the next best thing. 

“Are you not embarrassed Jun? Sitting on your rear while the guests prepare the table!”

“I’m a guest too?!” He cried and Jisoo stifled a laugh behind her palm, the other hand rubbing her swollen belly.

“Yah, guest my ass. It’s your house as much as it’s mine so get over here before I rip your ear off.”

San stood by the table and waited for another chance to interfere, or as Jun liked to call it ‘buttering up to the in-laws’. You creeped up behind San and leaned your cheek against his bicep.

“You good?” He wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed a lingering kiss to the side of your head. If someone knew what it meant to be separated from family then it was San, having not seen his own parents in how many years now?

“I’m perfect,” you replied and discreetly created some space between you as the rest of the family entered the kitchen. 

Unlike San, you weren’t very keen on showing public affection especially as you guys never did it due to him being a literal celebrity. You had no problem showering him with love behind closed doors, but it was different with so many people around and in front of your parents nonetheless. That was just forbidden, almost illegal in your books. 

As if they hadn’t done the deed at least four times–

“Well go on, why are you standing there like sheep waiting for Lassie.”

Everyone swammered the table per your mother’s request. You, San and Borah sat on one side of the table with your mother and father on each end, and Jun, Jisoo and Hana across from you.

“How is work, sweetie?”

You faced your mother as she filled your plate with food and you practically tore the spatula from her hands.

“It’s good. There’s a lot now that people are on vacation, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“You’ve always been a hard worker,” she grumbled. “And how are you otherwise?” 

Your brows furrowed, “I’m great too. What do you mean?” 

She stared you dead in the eyes, making sure you were looking at her too, and flickered her gaze down to your stomach and back up again three times.

“I am healthy.”

The bite you tried to hide slipped out and she couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Of course you’re healthy. I don’t give birth to sick babies.”

You don’t know when your mother turned so…sour. When her gentle touches turned to pinches and words of endearment became sneers of displeasure. Over one summer she had changed drastically and called every two to three weeks, asking the same questions, hoping for different answers.

“At least someone here is eating for two.”

The sentence struck you right in the heart and it bothered you how easily she got under your skin. As if prioritizing yourself brought shame on your whole family tree, it wasn’t like she didn’t have a soccer team of grandkids already.

Your sister-in-law smiled timidly and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for her being put in the spotlight just because of your mother’s pettiness.

“Oh, that reminds me, San-ah! We watched your Return of Superman episode,” Hana said excitedly. 

“Who do you like more, uncle San, me or Jaeyul?”

“Mmm, that is a hard question, Borah. How about this, I’ll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret?”

The five year old immediately nodded and San – keeping his promise – gently whispered in her ear, “You.” 

A gasp slinked out of her lips and she threw her hands over her mouth, the two exchanged a look and San made a zipping motion over his lips, a gesture Borah copied. 

“Wah, you’re so good with kids San-ah,” Jun complimented.

“I was just about to say that! We couldn’t stop smiling, it was so endearing. All of you, really,” your sister added and pushed her thick glasses up against her nose. 

San straightened at the praise. A dust of red covered his face accompanied with a bright smile. 

“I just love kids.” 

“Then it’s about time you get some, don’t keep us waiting any longer.”

Your body tensed and your grip on the spoon tightened. Your mother talked about the matter as if babies were truly delivered by storks and not an almost year long process. You kept your gaze on your plate, not daring to meet anyone’s stares, not when you could feel San’s bore into the side of your face. You two had yet to talk about the future and it wasn’t something you were ready for, especially not after his random burst of baby fever. 

San cleared his throat, “Well I’d rather first put a ring on your daughter’s finger, if that’s alright with her.”

Oh, how you loved this man. 

You didn’t need things to be official to know how you felt about San. A scribble of paper and a ring on your finger wouldn’t make your love more real, but you knew if San asked the big question you’d say yes in a heartbeat.

Heat ran through you, from the center of your heart to the tips of your toes, and it was hard to suppress the smile fighting its way on your face. The twins ‘oh-ed’ loudly, Jun even made the table into a makeshift drum as Borah and Jisoo jumped on the teasing wagon. Your father smiled at the scene before him. It was about time you got married, he thought but kept it to himself. Your mother on the other hand wasn’t all too pleased. As much as she wanted you to marry before conceiving, she didn’t want to wait any longer than necessary and with how your life was going, a marriage wasn’t an event in any of her five future calendars.

“Are we supposed to call you Mrs. Choi now?” 

A hard smack resounded in the house with a groan.

The dinner ended with no more personal questions about your and San’s relationship as all the attention was diverted to Jun and Jisoo’s unborn baby. Now you were all gathered in the living room, except for Jisoo who long passed out in Jun’s childhood bedroom. 

“Auntie.” Borah grabbed at your elbow, her legs stretched over your thighs as she sat in San’s lap with her head resting against his chest. 

“Yes, flower?”

Her eyes were droopy and she barely stayed awake despite the loud conversation of the adults. You inched closer to her to easily decipher her slurring words.

“I wanna sleep with you and uncle San.”

“Mmm, you want to cuddle with us?” She nodded tiredly. “Lemme ask uncle San first, okay flower?”

You caressed her hair and she smacked her lips before readjusting herself in San’s arms. Despite balancing between sleep and consciousness she was determined to know his answer. 

It didn’t take much more than a gentle ‘Sannie’ for you to catch his attention, “Borah wants to sleep in our bed. Is that alright with you?” 

He glanced down at the usually sugar rushed child and chuckled at her passed out form. “Of course. Here, I’ll tuck her in.”

While he went upstairs, easily navigating through the house from the previous visits, you stepped foot in the kitchen. The dishes from the dinner had just been pushed aside by your mother as she was dead set on everyone spending more time together, not allowing anyone entry in the kitchen unless it was to get more food. 

Although she was challenging your patience for the past five hours, you still loved her dearly so washing the dishes was the least you could do without blatantly saying it.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” 

Speak of the devil and they shall appear.

“Nothing, making your life easier.”

“Oh, please. My life hasn’t been any easier since you moved out. Constantly worrying about you.”

“Really, mom? There’s nothing to worry about plus it’s not like I’m alone. I have San.” You rinsed a plate and stacked it on the rack to your left.

“I know…That’s what I’m afraid of.”

A glass nearly slipped out of your hands. Your confused eyes met her worried ones and you bit the inside of your cheek, not really understanding what she was getting at.

“Why…I’m sorry, what are you exactly…afraid of?” 

The anxiety grew like weeds in your mind at her gentle whisper of your name. Did she not like San? But that was impossible; she practically referred to him as her favorite son-in-law. 

“Don’t you think it’s time you two get serious?”

“Okay!” You dropped the sponge in the sink and placed your soapy hands on your hips. “You really need to stop talking in riddles or my head is going to explode from anxiety.”

“There you go again with that anxiety. It’s not real!”

“Nope! Don’t try to change the subject. Say what you really mean or just stop talking, mom I swear it’s the only chance I’m giving you to be outright honest with me.”

A beat of silence passed and then another. Just as you thought she was backing down, the second most outrageous thing of the day came out of her mouth.

“Get married to San before he leaves you for someone else.”

You scoffed, “Unbelievable. You’re unbelievable.”

The rag hanging off your shoulder was snatched as you used it to dry your hands, but the anger proved that to be difficult so you bolted up to your room, not bothering with bidding anyone a good night’s sleep. You just needed to get away from the tension downstairs and, believe it or not, you craved San’s comfort.

Anger clouded your vision and all rational thoughts were pushed aside as you threw the door open, scaring San and nearly arousing little Borah. As much as you wanted to slam it shut, you couldn’t. Instead you did the childish-angry thing where you swing the door with all your might and stop it just as it was about to close and create an atomic-like explosion. 

San rose from his comfortable position on the pink fluffy carpet that teenage-you chose, eyes wide in alarm and arms reaching for you. 

He had changed out of the black hoodie and gray suit pants and into something more comfortable; a satin black pajamas you gifted him for Valentine’s day with a pair of semi-rimless glasses perched on his nose. Something about the look made him so domestic your anger nearly disappeared into thin air. 

“Woah, woah. What’s wrong?” 

You hid your face in your hands and San wasted no time taking you in his arms, bringing your body close to him. The motion had you sighing deeply as you exhaustively sunk into his embrace. San didn’t push for an answer and for that you were grateful. He rubbed your back and kissed your temple, nose and cheek.

“It’s my mom,” you eventually whispered.

“You wanna talk about it?” 

You didn’t move at first, weighing your options. Sharing the harsh words of your mom would lead to a conversation you weren’t ready to take. So you shrugged and clasped your hands around his torso. 

“Yes and no.”

“Okay, come here.” 

He gave you another kiss before moving you so your back was against his chest and shuffled over to the bed. He sat down by Borah’s feet, careful not to wake her, and pulled you between his legs dangling over the edge of the queen sized bed. His hands found home on your stomach immediately easing you off your anger. 

“We’ll do whatever you feel like. We can talk about it if you want or I can just listen to you, but if you don’t want to we won’t. We can find something else to do. It’s up to you, honey.”

You took his hands in yours and examined his each and every finger. A wave of nervousness washed over you and a distraction was needed to untangle your tied tongue. 

“She just said some…mean things I guess.”

“About you?”

You nodded silently. “About us.”

San hummed and you honestly expected a stronger reaction, but you should’ve known better. 

He was rational and never really lashed out, at least not that you knew of. You’d never seen him angry enough to act on it.

“She didn’t mean anything ill thought, but you were the starting point of it.”

“Look at me?”

As you faced him his eyes immediately found yours and in them were swirls of pure affection and sincerity.

“I love you.”

The skin on your cheeks burned hot and your lips curled into an embarrassed smile. The confession sent a magic tingle through your body.

“Where is this coming from?”

“I love you,” he said again, not satisfied with your response.

“I love you too, Sannie.”

“Good. Don’t worry ‘bout what your mom says. I love you and nothing will change that.”

Reassuring words and mellow touches. 

“Nothing?”

Not even your fear of childbirth? 

Or the idea that the two of you never may have children?

“Nothing, my love.”

And if he noticed the turn your smile took – going from happy to sad – he didn’t mention it. Because despite everything you couldn’t stop the gnawing thoughts of dread and what if’s from filling your mind.

“Did you watch the episode?”

“What episode?”

“The one of Seonghwa-hyung, Woo and I with the kids.”

Right, that one.

At first you didn’t purposely push it back on your agenda but the more you remembered his wish of starting a family the more chores you suddenly had to do and oh, that pile of paperwork could certainly not wait until after the weekend and when you actually had the time to watch it your phone would ping with a billion messages, every single one coming from San who insisted he craved to hear your voice and see your ‘absolutely angelic face’ – his words. 

So no. You hadn’t seen it.

“Ah, really?” He laughed at the speed you shook your head. “Well, let’s watch it together.”

“Now?”

“Mmm. Unless you don’t wanna?”

“Oh– Uhm, no! Go ahead, I’ll just change into something comfortable.”

Why he brought his laptop for a two day journey, you had no idea but apparently it worked in his favor because there you were laying on the side closest to the wall with Borah snuggled between you guys while the laptop was perched on San’s stomach, the episode playing in full swing.

Every interaction with the twins or Jaeyul made your guts twist and clench. You had to admit it was cute; so cute that your dinner almost went back up the same way it came from. You felt so bad and the worst of it all was the guilt that followed, the guilt of knowing you weren’t doing anything wrong yet you’d still be treated as if you were. 

And it was such a shitty situation, because how come that the man who’d single-handedly light up each and every star for you, also was the one to summon the clouds obscuring the night sky?

You didn’t notice San’s lingering eyes or the way his fingers itched to hold yours or the three word long question resting on his tongue. Not that he was being obvious about it. Whenever you looked at him he’d flash you that derpy smile of his and a reassuring blink that lasted a second too long. 

It may have been unclear to you, but nothing passed your radar of a brother. He did have the maturity of a boy going through early stages of puberty, but you had to give it to him, he was observant. Too observant for his own good.

“What’s going on with you and lover boy?”

Thanks to Jun’s stupidity you both were honored with dish-duties. What you didn’t know was that it was all a part of his masterplan. 

“What?”

“I don’t know I’m the one asking you.”

You glared at him and he wordlessly took the clean tray from you.

“I’m just saying, we dudes, we see when something’s wrong.”

“So something’s wrong with San?”

“Not with San.” He put the tray in place and threw the rag over his shoulder, painfully dragging out the conversation, “With you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me?” 

“Mm-mm, there is. You’re all tense and silent, and anytime someone mentions a baby you do this thing where you disapp– Yeah, just like that!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at your face void of emotion.

“I’m just not feeling it today.”

A gasp left his mouth and he looked around almost alarmed. “Don’t tell me you’re…pregnant?” He whispered the last word as if it was a crime that could sentence you to life in prison.

Out of sheer surprise and terror you smacked the side of his head. 

“Are you out of your mind?!” You hissed back.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“It is a no!” 

“Okay, don’t hit me again!” As you raised your arm he simultaneously threw his hands up to shield himself from your wrath. 

A third party watched the banter from the living room, his feet tucked under his thighs in a pretzel motion and tongue poking at his cheek. The three years you spent together, from the platonic start to the blossoming romance, granted you more knowledge of each other than anyone else. 

San noticed your change in behavior at the dinner table last night, after the talk with your mother and as you cozied up to him in bed. At first he brushed it off as jitters for not being home for so long and the overwhelming emotions of finally meeting everyone again, but the more he thought of it the more he realized it wasn’t like you. And he promised himself to ask you about it, he just needed to find the perfect moment when you weren’t being swammered by everyone else which proved to be nearly impossible. If you weren’t hounded by your mother or bothered by your siblings, then you were stuck with the little ones and their sticky fingers.

“San-ah.”

Hana brought him out of his thoughts.

“Do you ever see yourself having kids?”

The question threw him off guard because wasn’t it obvious? What more could he want than to start a family with the love of his life?

“Of course, but it’s not something we’ve gotten around yet. We’re not rushing anywhere either!” 

Hana nodded and took a long sip of her chamomile tea. There was something so uneasy with her watchful eyes and the slight purse of her lips that had San thinking a little too much to his liking.   

Was he missing something? 

And he really shouldn’t have asked, prod at her interest and start something he wasn’t sure he was ready for but being the curious cat he was, San couldn't help himself.

“If you don’t mind, why are you asking?”

“Mmm…you see, she’s not the brightest when it comes to children.”

That sentence sounded like an unstrung guitar being played with a dull rock underwater. If San remembered correctly, you shone the brightest around your nieces and nephews. There was never a dull moment with them, always bringing you to tears from laughing too much. He saw you with them; you were gentle, thoughtful and careful, and he was certain it had nothing to do with you sharing the same blood. 

San must have looked confused because Hana spluttered out an explanation, her hands waving around at the speed of light. 

“I’m just saying that because I know how you’re with kids. Anyone can see you love them and I know it wouldn’t be fair to you.” 

“What wouldn’t be fair?”

“Not having kids,” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

San wanted to ask more questions yet he decided to hold his tongue. He wouldn’t be able to see the complete puzzle anyways and he knew the missing piece could only be received from one person – you.

“It’s a mutual concern of ours and we are just looking out for you.” She gave him a few pats of comfort, for what he had yet to find out, “God knows my husband would be devastated if I didn’t want kids.”

San listened silently, the frown on his face deepening with each word.

Did your sister not want kids? 

He followed her line of vision leading straight to you and then it hit him.

You didn’t want kids. 

The images of San holding a toddler that was the spitting image of him; a head too big for its body, chubby cheeks and faint brows, haunted you every night. Some dreams were more vivid than others, but they were never the same. The most recent one was of the three of you taking a walk in the park. The little girl sat on San’s shoulders wearing a purple hat with cat ears while you trailed behind them, a matching bag around your shoulder and a camera in your hands. As San turned around you caught a glimpse of their bright smiles and identical dimples. The girl saw you and stretched her arms out, a giddy ‘mom!’ tumbling out of her mouth.

That’s when you woke up in a puddle of sweat. You could barely catch your own breath as you jumped out of bed, nearly toppling to the floor in the process. 

A cloud of guilt and shame loomed over you for various reasons. Mainly for dreaming of a future you could not see for yourself. It got to the point where you stayed up all night just to avoid the dreams. You picked up more shifts at the office, working late nights and early mornings, and it was a success until you cleared your whole schedule. Then came the idea of starting a new hobby; crocheting but your patience ran out rather quickly, who knew learning a double crochet would be so difficult? 

Your guilty conscience affected your relationship with San too. Dates were painfully awkward as if you were a high school couple going on your first outing together, stealing shy glances and looking away as soon as your eyes met. 

Then it was the skinship, whenever you accidentally touched fingers or feet collided underneath the dinner table, you’d withdraw so quickly as if burned by the scorch of a hundred suns. It was almost foreign to cuddle up on the couch too, San’s hands on your lower back and your cheek against his chest. At first you didn’t think he noticed the change in your behavior, but as you laid on top of him you could feel his heart rapidly beat in your ear and hands ghost over your skin, a trail of goosebumps following his faint touch.

Neither dared to speak up about the thick tension, assuming it would all go away in due time but the closer you got to the date of Ateez leaving for their tour in Latin America, the less likely it was to subdue. 

Little did you know San wasn’t feeling any better himself. Hana’s words played in his head on a loop, creating new presumptions of what she meant. She wasn’t that straightforward with her message and San could’ve either pieced together the wrong information or been completely spot on. He’d never know if he never asked, which proved to be harder than expected.

The few times your schedules aligned you were interrupted by San’s phone – Seonghwa and Mingi checking if he was dining at yours or with them – and if it weren’t that then it was something else. The days he made sure nothing could interrupt he’d chicken out last minute and smoothly avert the attention to anything remotely more interesting.

“Did you see Mingi’s new hair color?”

“I made Jongho promise to teach you how to break an apple in half!”

“Yeosang wants to buy a puppy!”

The confidence San possessed on stage in front of thousands was plummeting to the ground. Hard and fast. It honestly baffled him how much control one person could hold over him. Not that he complained, who was supposed to make his knees weak and brain all mushy besides you?

Knees weak and mushy brain was exactly how he felt as you opened the door, revealing yourself. You wore a black and white striped sweater with a black skirt stopping midthigh. The top was slightly big so you tucked it in your skirt. A small dark bag hung over your shoulder matching your leather boots. Simple yet elegant jewelry adorned your fingers and ears. You topped it off with black see-through stockings and black coat. 

“Is this too much for a night out?”

You were stunning. 

“It’s perfect, babe.” 

He handed you a beautiful bouquet of pink and red roses mixed with fillers, the brown paper gave them an old school look. You suppressed a squeal of joy and took the flowers from him, planning to put them in a vase, but not before planting a quick and shy kiss to the apple of his cheek. Your lipstick smeared on his skin almost camouflaging with the redness crawling up his neck, attacking his ears and cheeks, luckily for him you bolted to the kitchen, embarrassed at your own gesture.

You truly were like a pair of high schoolers, but for once you didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.  Perhaps it was your consciousness pushing the thoughts away for the night as it was your last date before San left overseas. 

“Ready to go?”

San was breathtaking.

It was no surprise that your boyfriend was a work of art, but there was something different about him tonight. Dark slacks accented his hard thighs a black turtleneck covered his bulging arms and slim waist with a gray coat hung snuggly over his frame reaching his calves. You always said his natural hair color suited him the best and it was true, especially when it was slicked back with a few strands falling over his exposed forehead.

You gulped harshly, “Yup.” 

You placed your hand in his and smiled as his fingers thread through yours like the roots of a tree becoming one with the earth. Giddy smiles hid behind your masks but the sparkle in your eyes was brighter than the night sky and its million stars.

San stuffed your woven hands in the pocket of his large coat for the short walk to his manager’s car and then his hand found its long lost place on your thigh during the drive to your favorite restaurant. 

You were addicted to his reassuring words and mellow touches.

San held his breath and was fully prepared to feel your body still at the skinship or for you to slowly pull away, but when you did the complete opposite – tightening your hold on his hand – he exhaled in relief. 

The restaurant was made for celebrities to have somewhere to go and enjoy their time without noisy people and overbearing fans. They even had a no phone policy to maximize the safety and privacy of everyone inside, that way the possibility of scandals coming out were zero to none. It wasn’t everyday you went on expensive dates for obvious reasons, mainly because of San’s schedule but also because you felt bad for him paying every time. It was no secret San earned more money than you, being a literal idol, but you still made it work somehow.  

For the first time in a while you felt good beside him. The unsettling dreams and thoughts of the future were as if non-existent and you didn’t want it any other way, at least for the night. Halfway through your second glass of wine San started blabbering about the tour. You wouldn’t say he was drunk, but rather relaxed. 

“So where are you going first?”

He thought for a minute, “Mexico, Brazil, Chile and then Colombia.”

“Isn’t it your first time performing there? That must be exciting!”

“Mhm, I can’t wait to see our Latin American Atinys. I know some of them have been with us since predebut. Honestly I’d travel around the world just to meet them all.”

“That’d be the dream wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “It’d be even better if you were there with me.”

His small pout and glistening eyes made you laugh, “Because that’d be such a good idea. I can bet all my life savings it would end up in a disaster one way or another.”

“What? Why?”

You placed your utensils down, “San, honey. I don’t think you realize how popular you are, like all of twitter wants to fuck you.” 

San stopped mid chewing, his eyes wide and brows raised to the roof. The loading wheel appeared above him and he smiled embarrassingly as your words finally registered, his teeth white but the tips of his ears burned red. 

“Yah, don’t say that.” He suddenly looked away as if he wasn’t showered with compliments on a daily basis.

“Well it’s Atinys’ words, not mine.” 

“You jealous?”

The cheekiness didn’t go unnoticed by you so in an equally teasing tone, you replied, “I can’t be jealous of something I actually get to do.”

And if there was anything better than a tipsy San then it was a flustered one.

“You shy, baby?”

He shook his head with a little ‘no’ that barely reached your ears.

The rest of the date was perfect – much to your surprise – and not once did the guilt ridden thoughts infiltrate your mind, not even when you passed a happy couple pushing a stroller on your way home or when you saw, what must have been, the biggest smile of the night on San’s handsome face. For a split second you thought everything would work out in the end. You’d overcome this obstacle just like you did with the move to Seoul or with the test you nailed after months of pulling all-nighters. But only for a split second because as the clock struck midnight your night took an unexpected turn with it.

“You need a place to stay for the night?” It came out more suggestive than you intended, however you didn’t mind.

“I don’t know, did you plan to sleep tonight?”

Your pointer finger rested against your chin as you pretended to think.

“If that’s the case then you won’t be getting any sleep tonight.”

A pair of very familiar hands grabbed your hips sending an electric feeling through your body despite the skirt separating your skin from touching. Your bodies fit like two pieces of a missing puzzle. 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you replied and threw your head back against the crook of his neck. 

“Good.”

You were a feather in San’s hand and he treated you with care. Never too rough or foul, always considerate and kind but not opposed to it if you asked. He spun you around and stared at you with a million stars in his eyes, completely and utterly lost in the beautiful galaxy that is you. 

San cupped your cheek and traced your bottom lip with his thumb. His touch stopped at the corner of your mouth, his eyes widened as you lightly bit down on his finger. Your warm tongue against his cold skin. Your parted lips pulled into a smirk and it spurred San to push his thumb deeper in your mouth, now laying completely flat against the wet muscle. The innocent yet sultry bat of your eyes drove him crazy.

Reassuring words and mellow touches. 

He wanted you. He wanted to lick and nip at your skin, paint it full of violet and crimson clover. Make your writhe and turn in his hold until breathless pleas filled your apartment. He craved you beneath him, bare and vulnerable while he worshiped your body with praises and sinful words. He wanted to make love to you.

Yet he couldn’t. 

Not when you were both haunted by your thoughts.

He slipped his thumb from your mouth taking the sexual atmosphere with it.

“Love?” 

His eyes snapped to yours and he knew then and there that the art of love wouldn’t solve any of your worries, because at the end of the night he’d still travel halfway across the world with the nagging thoughts packed between his briefs and socks.

“Is everything alright?” You gently latched onto his wrist, thumb stroking the back of his hand.

“I love you,” San suddenly confessed.

A crease formed between your brows, lips glued together and eyes almost glossy. You were taken back at the sweet words but even more so at the way he was looking at you – almost sad. 

“Where is this coming from?”

“I love you,” he repeated. 

The scene wasn’t a sense of deja-vu, that much you knew, but rather a memory from a few weeks ago. A memory that was much sweeter and domestic than now. The response San expected to hear didn’t come as quickly as he hoped and through his tipsy vision he recognized a moment of hesitation. 

“Honey?”

“I love you too, San.” 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He suddenly asked.

The loving touches and flirty banter went down the drain and you were left with a silence so loud and overwhelming you couldn’t think properly. 

“What?”

“I said, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean something’s got you distracted.”

“There’s nothing going on,” you insisted stubbornly.

“Absolutely nothing?”

“San…everything's fine.”

“Except it isn't! I know you enough to see the changes. You barely sleep and this is the first time in days where I’ve seen you with a real smile.”

It broke his heart to see you slink from his embrace. Arms crossing over your chest and head turning sideway.

“Honey, please talk to me.” He sounded desperate. 

“And I am. There’s nothing wrong.” 

He raked his hand through his hair. The deep sigh whirling around your apartment. 

“Don’t lie. Not to me.”

You stayed silent yet again. 

“I’m here for you, always will be.”

“I can’t,” you whispered into the august breeze.

“What?”

“I can’t tell you,” you repeated a little louder.

“Why?”

“Because you’ll hate me!” It stung San into silence. “You’ll hate me and never want to speak to me again.”

He hungered for your touch, hands itching to reach for yours and as he took a step forward you took one back.

“You can’t keep it bottled up forever, love.” 

“I can try.”

Tears formed in your eyes and your voice cracked. You tried blinking them away but they raced down your cheeks against your will.

“C’mere.”

That was all it took for you to fling yourself at him. Your hands gripped the back of his shirt, nails digging into the expensive material. One hand cradled the back of your head and the other supported your back, rubbing gentle circles against your knitted sweater. San leaned down and pressed a long kiss to your crown, lingering and breathing in the sweet scent of you.

“I can’t breathe without you by my side so if you think I’ll ever hate you, you’re wrong. My love, you could break my heart a thousand times over and I’d still find reason to love you.”

Hot tears soaked into his shirt and you wanted to disagree but the tremble of your lips told you to be quiet so you shook your head violently instead.

You stood there for a long time, in each other’s arms with soft kisses and soothing touches. The emotions swirling around the apartment were too big for your shoulders and the rational part of you knew that you wouldn’t be able to carry them with you much longer.

“I don’t want children.”

It was interesting how a four worded sentence could either be the demise or rise of a relationship. What path your and San’s would take was yet to be determined, but God did you hope it was the latter. 

The argument broke out three days ago and while you've gone months without seeing each other, these 72 hours were by far the most excruciating period of your relationship. You didn’t ever think there’d be a person you’d miss this much. To see and hold, kiss and laugh with.

The first day was spent bathing in your own tears and snot. You were forced out of work by your co-workers as they didn’t buy your lie of ‘everything being alright’. It wasn’t like you could tell them your idol boyfriend of three years ran head first out of your apartment after an argument, absolutely not because you literally told him to give you space. So from nine am to nine pm you were cooped up in your bed, crying, scrolling through your socials, crying some more until you eventually fell asleep. 

The second day wasn’t anything better, except for the three tubs of ice cream you inhaled. They were kept in the back of your freezer for emergencies such as these. With a quick pat on the back for eating something you pushed the containers aside and continued your self wallowing, dressed in one of your (San’s) hoodies that smelled of caramelized sugar. Your phone blew up with calls from your family. Everyone concerned about you suddenly going MIA, but not enough to pay you a visit which you were both thankful and bitter about.

The third following morning came around and you decided that it was time to get your shit together. You still had a job to return to and bills to pay. It was all going well too, you cleaned the apartment and got rid of all the empty ice cream tubs, made a home cooked meal for the first time in three days, you even changed your bedsheets and did the laundry. The last thing on your list was a well deserved full-body shower.

The frantic ring of your doorbell fell on deaf ears as water pattered on your bare body and the tiled floor. Your fingers worked through your hair, rubbing almost painfully at your scalp as shampoo water went down the drain. 

It was first after you cut the stream and stepped out of the shower that you realized someone was at the door. With a roll of your eyes, you leisurely squeezed the excess water out of your hair and wrapped a towel around yourself. The chime of the bell didn’t stop and you were on the brink of insanity.

There were only two people with keys to your place; San and your mom. 

Your parents had no reason for coming all the way to Seoul in the middle of the day and San…even though your relationship wasn’t in the best shape you knew he’d never turn up unannounced, whether he told you by call or text didn’t matter as long as he reached out. He said it was a way of respecting your privacy and as much as you didn’t care for that, it was heartwarming. 

6:30 PM glared the digital clock on the console table in the hallway. 

All you wanted was one normal day. A morning without spilling coffee on your clean clothes, an afternoon without stubbing your toe on the desk in your office and a night without someone trying to sell you cookies or whatnot. It’d also be so much easier to crawl beneath your sheets and cry yourself to sleep without a maniac creating the newest billboard hit outside your apartment, but hey each to their own.

As much as you wanted to swing the door open and bark out profanities at the nuisance, you knew better and opted with looking through the peeping hole. Never did you expect a soaked San to stand there, rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet while desperately abusing the doorbell.

San didn’t have time to react, neither at the door being opened nor for you appearing with only a towel. You took hold of his hand and dragged him inside to which he shut the door behind him and somehow managed to take off his shoes. You threw him a spare towel and disappeared in your room. San stood there like a kicked dog, ears flat against his head and tail certainly not wagging. A few seconds later you returned dressed in one of San’s many t-shirts and your pajama shorts, carrying a change of clothes.  

You wordlessly gave them to him and escaped to your room again. San took that as his queue to get dressed. 

The run to your apartment gave him barely any time to collect his thoughts, too busy with providing his burning lungs with air and keeping an eye out for cars and potential followers. So now that he stood, not in front of your door, but in your living room he was completely shitting his pants. 

The cold and distant facade you managed to pull off in front of him crumbled the second you crossed the threshold of your room. You really strained all seventeen of your muscles not to cry and you could argue it was your best accomplishment yet as not a single tear kissed your cheeks.

“Hey.”

You looked up from your spot on the bed. Staring at your partner who stopped by the door. Your throat was dry and itchy, brain indiciseive of what to say and do. He wasn’t supposed to be here, that much you knew. Their agency had this weird rule of not allowing their idols out a day prior to their tour and it didn’t sit right with you knowing he went against their words, for you nonetheless. 

“San, what are you doing here?”

Unsteady sleeping schedules, caffeine filled drinks and insomnia were the standard for idols. Anyone claiming otherwise was either lying straight through their teeth or had a great planning method something San could really use these days. 

San was no stranger to succumbing to sleep at the early hours of the morning or not sleeping at all. The extra time was usually put into practice or perfecting his secret project, and sometimes something simple as laying in bed staring up at the ceiling.

But now it was hard to do any of that with you taking over his every thought. He found himself wondering about things that weren’t supposed to infiltrate his mind for the next five years. 

Get married. Move in. Adopt a cat. Have kids.

A short list of things that were crossing the line between adolescence and adulthood. 

The image of you and San doing that together spread a radiant smile across his face and his roommates, clueless as ever, couldn’t stop their own mouths from curving upwards. There was truly no other person he could think of doing any of that with and his heart was heavy as he realized he may never complete the list.

It took three calls from Seonghwa for San to acknowledge the older man sitting on the edge of his bed beside the open and empty suitcase. 

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

Seonghwa leaned back on his arms keeping him from completely falling on the bed and stared at San’s computer screen, nonchalantly watching as he played one of his many games. The elder had come straight out of his own room from finishing a youtube live – a youtube live San crashed for a good fifteen minutes before abruptly leaving – and although Atiny probably didn’t notice the change of behavior in the younger Ateez member, Seonghwa did. 

San sighed as the last character of his team died and the word ‘defeat’ flashed in large capital letters took over the majority of the screen. 

“San-ah.”

Said man placed his expensive headset on the desk and twirled in his chair, and Seonghwa had a feeling the glum look on his features wasn’t from losing the game. 

“I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m just checking if there’s something bothering you. Something I can help you with?” 

The prolonged silence did nothing to soothe Seonghwa’s worries. He closely watched the hesitation slowly crack through San’s facade – bottom lip caught between his teeth, picking at his nails and eyes glazed over, darting literally everywhere except at Seonghwa.

Cautiously, he asked if it had something to do with you and his suspicion was confirmed when their eyes met. 

“It’s…complicated.”

“How so?”

“Because I thought of a thing and it turns out I was right.”

Seonghwa tried asking as few questions as possible to not overwhelm San, but the conversation wasn’t giving him much to work with.

“And what were you thinking about?”

San ran his hands through his black hair and looked as if he was racking his brains, he then violently rubbed at his eyes too. It was one thing to think about the whole situation and another to say it out loud, possibly speaking it into existence. 

“You don’t have to te–”

“Starting a family.” 

The trip to your hometown really did a number on him, Seonghwa thought. 

Cheeks red and palms sweaty, San cleared his throat. A little embarrassed at the confession and for cutting Seonghwa off so abruptly.

“I was thinking of what it’d be like to start a family with her.”

“Starting a what with who?”

Mingi stood in the doorway with parted lips and eyebrows raised to the roof, wet tufts of blonde and black hair peeked from underneath the towel on his head.

“It was just a thought.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with it,” Seonghwa assured.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t really matter.” 

“How come?” Mingi pressed, now leaning against the door.

“Because she doesn’t want a family…or well, at least not kids.”

Seonghwa and Mingi exchanged glances. All of Ateez knew of San’s adoration for kids. Heck, Seonghwa had front row seats to it and all. He remembered thinking how skilled San was with the twins and even with the energized boy. 

But none of it mattered now. If what San said was true – which he had no doubts about – then your choice went above everyone else’s, including San’s. 

“And how do you feel about that?”

San looked at the eldest. “There’s nothing I can do about it. I mean, sure I love kids I do, but I love her more.”

“Then I don’t see what the issue is,” Mingi chimed in. 

“It’s still a bitter situation Mingi, and Sannie has the right to feel…upset. Have you talked to her?” 

San groaned and buried his face in the palms of his hands, thinking back how it all escalated so quickly. The split second he tried processing everything, you’d already decided it was time for him to leave and pushed him out, crying how you needed to be alone. Too stunned to properly react, San did as told.

“I walked out…”

Dread filled their guts as Mingi and Seonghwa patiently waited for the remainder of the story. They hoped San wouldn’t say what they were thinking.

“She confided in me at first and then pushed me away, screaming at me to go and I…listened. ”

“Well that changes the trajectory of things don’t you think?” Mingi said after the minute long silence and Seonghwa shot him a pointed look.

“San, we are not leaving for the tour until you talk to her,” Seonghwa declared. 

The elder had no lover of his own, but he had seen enough movies to know how these situations ended. Spoiler alert: a painful break up for both parties.

San shrugged, “I’m sure Hongjoong would like that.”

“And you don’t think your girlfriend would? Listen here. We’re supposed to leave for the airport at seven am, I’ll give you the night if you make amends.”

Seonghwa stopped before San, a wide smile on his gorgeous face. “Besides, a family doesn’t become a family when a child is brought into it. If you think about it, the three of us and the rest of the guys are like a family, right?”

“We are a family,” Mingi corrected.

“Exactly. So who’s to say you two aren’t one too?” 

“I’m here to do what I should’ve done days ago.”

It was hard to look him in the eye. The sincerity in them had your heart in knots, tugging and tightening with your every breath. 

“Can I come in?”

San had his arms by his side and hands balled into fists to keep them from trembling. There was no doubt in his mind that you’d be in his arms by the end of the night, but it didn’t stop his pulse from skyrocketing.

“You’re already here.” 

A faint, appreciative smile crossed his features as he gingerly took the seat beside you. There was no real malice to your words and he was thankful because honestly speaking he wouldn’t know what to make of it if you still needed ‘time’. San straightened and breathed out a sigh as if letting go of all his nerves.

“I want to start by saying; I’m sorry.”

You snapped your head towards him, confused as to why he was the one apologizing. You were the issue at hand here. You were the one depriving him of something he wished for, you pushed him away. Not the other way around. 

“I’m really sorry for pressuring you–”

“San, no–” You shook your head, tears already threatening to make their dramatic entrance.

“Just listen to me, please.” 

And his desperate plea was their queue to waltz in much to your dismay. 

San lifted your chin so he could see your face and frowned at the tears. “I'm sorry if I ever made you feel obliged to push your feelings aside for me. That has never been my intention and it never will be.”

He cupped your face gently in both hands and wiped away your remaining tears with his thumbs. It pained him to know the tears were inflicted by his doing.

“I love you.”

“San,” you whimpered, barely able to get the word out. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe for me. I’m not leaving.”

That was your breaking point. You heaved for air as more tears blurred your vision. A heavy weight lifted off your shoulders as you found solace in his words and San felt his own heart break at your wails. Feeling embarrassed you abruptly stood up and put a hand over your mouth to stop the broken cries. Staying true to his words, San hugged you from behind and pressed you into his embrace. Chin resting against your shoulder as his arms went around your waist. You stood like that until your tears ran dry and cries turned into hiccups.

San whispered words of encouragement in your ear, lips grazing the skin with each pronunciation. Your feet moved with his as he maneuvered you to bed and under the covers. A meteor could hit the earth and he wouldn't leave your side. You laid there in silence with your back to his chest. His arm under your neck and the other curled around your waist, keeping you flushed against his front. Your occasional sniffles filled the gaps letting San know you were awake.

“My love,” he started and you shifted as a reply of acknowledgement, “remember that night at your parents’ house? When your mother said something to upset you and you stormed up to your room?”

You nodded while playing with his fingers spread across your abdomen.

“Do you remember what I told you?” 

“That you loved me and nothing would change that.”

He kissed the back of your head. “I still stand by that. I love you. Not what you can or can’t give me. I love you when you cry and I love you when you laugh. I love you through your anger and grief. I love your kindness and selflessness.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, please. You should only apologize when you’ve done something wrong.”

“But I led you on. San, we want different things. You want a child–” your voice cracked and you drew in a sharp breath, “–and that’s not something I’m sure I can give you, ever.” 

“That’s not true.” He sat up and leaned over your body, “I wanna cuddle you to sleep and wake you with breakfast in bed. I want us to buy furniture and assemble it together only to give up halfway through. I want us to bake a ridiculous cake that ends up in a flour fight. I want all of that with you!”

San planted a soft kiss against the back of your hand.

“Children or not, it won’t change the fact that I love you and I’ll continue to say it until all the trees are cut down, until the ocean dries out and all the stars go out. I love you. Always have and always will.”

His caring words drew a smile from you and the harsh knot around your heart slowly came undone. His affectionate eyes searched yours and he’d wait an eternity for your answer, but you didn’t need more time to know what you wanted. Your hands caressed the sides of his neck and with a quick pull of his neck, your lips clashed in a passionate kiss.

Reassuring words and mellow touches. 

© HONGJOONGSART 2023 - All rights reserved. Copying, editing, reposting or translating my work is not allowed.

#[⛰️] HONGJOONGSART #choi san #choi san x reader #choi san fanfic #choi san imagines #choi san scenarios #choi san oneshot #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez oneshot #fluff #angst #idol au #Kpop au #kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop writers #writers on tumblr #ao3 writer

[arieslost]

cherry blossoms | ls2

summary: you have a meet cute in japan.

word count: 1,046

masterlist — join my tag list here!

this one is for my sweet mimi @lightsoutletsgo <33 thank you for coming up with this incredible concept, i loved writing it!!

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

being in japan during the springtime was always a magical experience, and it was owed primarily to the beautiful abundance of cherry blossoms. when the 2024 season calendar was announced and you saw that the japanese grand prix would be held during the spring, you wasted no time in procuring tickets and a flight to the country.

the paddock is absolutely stunning this time of year, you realized as you walk through it after qualifying. the teams were either debriefing or preoccupied with working in their garages, so the paddock itself was relatively clear, save for the blossoms that were falling out of the trees and lining the ground in brilliant pink. it’s almost overwhelming, but you and your camera can’t get enough of it.

you wouldn’t call yourself a professional by any means, but taking pictures has always been a fun hobby for you, and the vibrant japanese setting was the perfect subject matter for photos.

you were fully engrossed in your task, taking shots of the blossoms at multiple angles, even getting some action shots of blossoms falling through the air to rest on the ground. the paddock was much quieter than usual, and it was nice to only really hear the breeze against the sound of muted, far off conversation. you could even feel some of the stray blossoms brushing the top of your head and your shoulders. it was peaceful above anything else, and you weren’t bothered by it, gazing intently through your camera’s viewfinder as you walked along the paddock.

in retrospect, you probably should have been paying better attention to your surroundings. one moment you were adjusting where you stood to get a better focus on a specific blossom that you noticed, and the next you were colliding with something warm and solid.

“i’m so sorry— is your camera okay?!”

through the viewfinder, your eye focused on what (or who, rather) you’d bumped into. slowly, you lowered the camera so you could look directly at him. he was blond, and tall, and damn was he cute.

“yeah… it’s fine. are you okay?”

without saying anything in response, he reached out and plucked a stray blossom off of your shoulder that you hadn’t even taken note of. you looked down for a moment, overwhelmed with the gentleness of his touch, and missed him slipping the blossom into his pocket.

“thanks,” you said quietly.

“no problem. and i’m fine too,” he stretched out a hand to you. “i’m logan.”

“oh, right, of course! logan sargeant!” you exclaimed before feeling your cheeks heat up. “i mean… something less weird.”

he laughed. “something like your name?”

“right,” you laughed as well, introducing yourself. “i’m sorry for not paying attention. i just haven’t been here in the springtime in so long, i forgot how beautiful it was.”

“this is my first time here in the spring,” he shared, looking almost shy as he met your eyes. “but you’re right, it’s beautiful.”

“how was quali for you?” you asked, fiddling with the settings on your camera to hopefully still be able to get the photo you wanted.

“could’ve been better.” he shrugged, watching you lift your camera up to the trees. “getting good pictures?”

“amazing pictures,” you nodded, taking a few shots. “here, i’ll show you!”

enthusiastically, you held the camera out to him and started going through the pictures you’d taken throughout the day. eventually, you got back to the experimental ones you’d taken of a few cars on the track.

“hey, that’s me!” logan said suddenly, stopping you when the screen showcased the blue williams with the number 2 on it. “that’s incredible. you have a great eye.”

“hire me.” you said, mostly joking, but you could almost see the cogs turning in his head as he contemplated it.

“listen, i have to run, but… do you think i could get your number? i want to take you out. and maybe you can show me some more of your pictures.” he rubbed the back of his neck, watching you intently as you considered his offer.

“i think i’d like that a lot.” you replied with a smile, biting your lip to stifle the giggle that nearly escaped when he eagerly grabbed for his phone.

two years later, when you’re living with him and you turn over to grab your phone from the nightstand, you see a cherry blossom, pressed and proudly displayed on the wood surface. your whole body grows warm with affection when you feel logan’s arms around you, pulling you back into his soft embrace.

“logan,” you admonish quietly when he refuses to let you reach your hand out for the flower.

“stay,” he grumbles in response, brushing his lips against your shoulder.

“how long have you had this?” you ask, managing to grab the blossom before he pulls you further into him.

“hmm?” his eyes blink open and he looks at you with bleary confusion. “i love you, but why are you trying to wake me up right now?”

“it looks like you’ve had it for a while,” you continue, turning the blossom around in your hand.

“oh, that.” he lifts his head, watching as you inspect it. “i’ve had that since the day i met you.”

your jaw drops. “what?”

“yeah, it was on your shoulder when you bumped into me.” he explains easily. “just sitting there like it belonged there. i had it pressed so i’d always have a reminder of that pretty girl i met in suzuka, just incase i never saw you again.”

well. you weren’t expecting to tear up so early in the morning, but you’re still learning that logan sargeant is full of surprises.

“i love you,” you whisper, overcome with emotion as you set the blossom back on the nightstand.

“i love you so much,” he whispers back, leaving a loving kiss on your cheek. “even though you woke me up.”

“okay,” you giggle, putting a hand on his face and forcing his eyes shut. “let’s go back to bed then, sleeping beauty.”

“don’t need to tell me twice,” he hums happily, snuggling close to you and sighing in content.

you stay awake for a little while longer, admiring the pressed flower and thinking of how pretty a spring wedding would be in suzuka.

note: apologies if this feels rushed. i’m once again drowning in schoolwork as the semester ends this month 🙃 pray for me

my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings @tania2748 @scuderiadevils @iloveyou3000morgan @ctrlyomomma @hiireadstuff @daemyratwst @arian-directioner @evelyn-ny @avg-golden-retriever @likedbygaslyy @vintagefucksstuff @piastorys @jisungstuff

#blurb #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant x you #logan sargeant imagine #logan sargeant fanfic #logan sargeant fluff #ls2 x reader #ls2 x you #ls2 imagine #ls2 fanfic #ls2 fluff #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula one x you #formula one fanfiction #formula one fluff #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

[whumpthemusical]

Whump: The Musical Prompts!!

As stated before, this challenge will run from March 1- March 31, 2024. All fandoms are welcome to participate despite it being prompts based off of musicals. Once again, all types of media are allowed. This challenge has the standard "choose one for the day" style, but feel free to do all three prompts if that's what you want to do!! All types of whump are allowed, but please be respectful to your fellow audience members and properly tag it!! Some of these prompts are sensitive, so make sure you warn your readers correctly! There will be an ao3 collection and an FAQ post coming soon, so if you have any further questions or comments about this challenge, feel free to drop me a line. Happy writing, my beautiful ingénues, and enjoy the show :)))

The prompts will be listed under the cut for those who have difficulty reading fonts!!

Cats- Sabotage • Second Chances • "I Can Dream Of The Old Days."

Wicked- Mob Mentality • Propaganda • "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished."

Jesus Christ Superstar- Whipping • Betrayal • "Then I Was Inspired, Now I'm Sad And Tired."

Les Mis- Survivor's Guilt • Failure • "Drink With Me To Days Gone By."

Heathers- Poison • Reluctant Whumper • "Wanna fight for me?"

Newsies- Chronic Pain �� Exploitation • "Let 'Em Laugh In My Face, I Don't Care."

The Last Five Years- Infidelity • Gaslighting • "I Will Not Lose Because You Can't WIn."

Hadestown- Deals • Doomed Narrative • "Doubt Comes In."

Sweeney Todd- False Imprisonment • Razors • "Have You Decided It's Safer In Cages?"

Rent- Substance Abuse • Poverty • "Feels Too Much Damn Like Home."

Bare: A Pop Opera- Outing • Religious Trauma • "Please, See Me."

Waitress- Unplanned Pregnancy • Abuse • "She Is Broken And Won't Ask For Help."

Tick Tick Boom- Atychiphobia • Working To Exhaustion • "Is This Real Life?"

Dear Evan Hansen- Deception • Broken Bone • "Words Fail."

West Side Story- Star-Crossed Lovers • Prejudices • "A Boy Who Kills Cannot Love."

Come From Away- Stranded • Aftermath • "Blankets And Bedding And Maybe Some Food."

Spring Awakening- Withheld Information • Suicide  • "I Don't Scream, Though I Know It's Wrong."

Hamilton- Hurricane  • Dueling • "I Will Kill Your Friends And Family To Remind You Of My Love."

Falsettos- Sickness • Identity Issues • "Death Is Not A Friend."

Into The Woods- Blame • Lost • "Nothing But A Vast Midnight."

The Great Comet- Abduction • Letters • "Did You Love That Bad Man?"

In The Heights- Grief • Homesickness • "I Know That I'm Letting You Down."

Be More Chill- Mind Manipulation • Panic Attack • "Everything About Me Makes Me Want To Die."

Moulin Rouge- Class Differences • Sex Work • "Come What May."

Chicago- Cold Blood • Trial • "He Had It Coming."

Six- Execution • Trauma Bonding • "Playtime's Over."

Ride The Cyclone- Unexpected Tragedy • Forgotten Whumpee • "I Hear The Anguish Of The Street."

The Rocky Horror Show- Obsession • Wrong Place, Wrong Time • "I've Seen Blue Skies Through The Tears."

Nerdy Prudes Must Die- Bullying • Ritual • "Who Will Pray For You?"

Jekyll And Hyde- Duality • Good Vs Evil • "If I Die, You'll Die."

Phantom Of The Opera- Disfiguration • Shunned • "My Power Over You Grows Stronger Yet."

#whump: the musical #whump event #whump challenge #whump #whump community #whump writing #whump prompts #whump ideas #whumpblr #musical theatre #musicals #musical theater #broadway #broadway musicals #hamilton #newsies #les miserables #wicked the musical #falsettos #ride the cyclone #nerdy prudes must die #heathers #be more chill #dear evan hansen #moulin rouge #jesus christ superstar #cats the musical #six the musical #phantom of the opera #the great comet

[fluffbruary]

Fluffbruary IS UNDERWAY! Time to re-post the prompt list and spark some creativity!

As always, pick any or all of the daily prompts as inspiration for your fluffy fanwork. There are a handful of alternate prompts at the bottom of the list if none of the day's prompts work for you.

Whether you do some prompts, or all, or just one--increasing the fluff quotient in the world is surely a good thing.

All fandoms, all ships welcome! Tag @fluffbruary in your posts so we can reblog your fluffy creations--and please reblog THIS post so your tumblr community sees it and comes to play in the fluff.

February 1 : downy | clinic | nuance February 2 : engagement | scent | jam

Putting the rest under a cut because the images make for a LONG post :D

February 3 : umbrella | seashore | mist February 4 : camera | lush | beau

February 5 : rescue | inertia | lullaby February 6 : tie | embarrassment | dessert

February 7 : potatoes | blue | glass February 8 : shower | blessed | layer

February 9 : urgency | kneel | rural February 10 : flush | angel | owl

February 11 : reflection | water | apology February 12 : graceful | volcano | blanket

February 13 : choice | snuggling | furry February 14 : phone | bubble bath | doll

February 15 : cord | bakery | honey February 16 : neighbour | desire | horse

February 17 : magazine | tactile | curtains February 18 : suave | cologne | gradual

February 19 : tea cakes | flood | feature February 20 : smooth | glitters | queen

February 21 : photography | pepper | truffles February 22 : key | silly | quest

February 23 : rhythm | chalk | humor February 24 : spring | fuzzy | silky

February 25 : fox | twilight | sweat February 26 : fluff | woolly | care package

February 27 : table | blush | laundry February 28 : reward | shelter | piano

February 29 : breakfast | valley | sign

alternate prompts: evening | wish | hot | caress | solid

There you have it — all the Fluffbruary 2024 prompts.

Please reblog, and release the fluffening!

#fluffbruary 2024 #prompts #all fandoms #all ships #not just ships #ALL the fluff #reblog the fluff!

[artfight]

Let's spring into spring with some Sprout Fight prompts!

Want an on-site achievement for participating in Sprout Fight? Create artwork that incorporates either a prompt or a palette (or both!) and submit it to the Tally form below. The form closes on April 1st at 12 AM MST and you should receive your achievement sometime afterward.

If you upload your artwork onto Tumblr under the tag #SproutFight2024, we'll reblog and tag it as #Featured! You can also opt-in to have your artwork featured in a video showcase; see 2023's Arctic Fight Showcase here.

Click here for the prompts list transcript.

Additionally, if you participated in 2021 Art Fright & Arctic Fight and submitted your prompt piece using the provided form: we're working on getting those achievements out! We apologize for the delay.

Happy March!

#Art Fight #Artfight #SproutFight2024

[thefoxholecast]

The Original Foxhole Court Extra Content (Archived from Nora Sakavic’s Tumblr)

We copied the following text directly from the pre-2024 version of the Foxhole Court Extra Content page on Nora Sakavic’s Tumblr blog (korakos.tumblr.com/fox). In March 2024, she did “some spring cleaning” by shortening the list of links and deleting/hiding old posts. The links in this copy lead to archived snapshots of the old posts on the Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Some of the links are broken. If you have copies of these posts, please let us know so we can fill in missing content!

Because Tumblr only allows up to 100 links per post, we're unable to replicate the full list here. View the full list of links on our blog here: thefoxholecast.tumblr.com/FoxArchive

The Foxhole Court

ETA 2023: most of the posts here are from 2013-2015. Some of them overlap with older drafts. Some answers have evolved over time, even if they haven’t been updated here. Most I haven’t changed my mind on, for better or worse. Take ‘em or leave ‘em, and good luck making sense of ‘em around all the drunk rambling and detours. One day if I have the energy I’ll just sort it into a coherent reference.

~~

Two sections here: the questions submitted by tumblr users, and a miscellaneous collection of stories & factoids pulled from the oft-neglected blog. The questions aren’t in any particular order, though I did try to organize them by subject matter. Ish. Once the dust is settled a bit I’ll try to find a better sorting system. Also, the tumblr tag I use for questions is http://korakos.tumblr.com/tagged/foxhole-court-questions-and-spoilers

Lots of spoilers for The Foxhole Court ahead!

Preface: Why are Asks disabled in 2016?

COURTING MADNESS

—Exy Rules & Regulations

—Exy: A History of the Sport

—Palmetto State University

—The original “What Happens After King’s Men” post

—SON NEFES, the cousins’ freshman year through Renee’s eyes

——One . Two . Three . Four . Five

—Nicky Hemmick

—Seth Gordon

—Aaron Minyard

—Matt Boyd

—Kevin & Andrew

—David Wymack & the Monsters

—Wymack & Andrew re: Neil

—Dan Wilds is recruited to the Foxes *

—Allison through Dan & Renee’s eyes *

——pulled from an abandoned, unfinished book about the Foxes’ women

TUMBLR

NEIL

—Neil’s life on the run

—Do they ever celebrate Neil’s birthday?

—What if Neil told the truth earlier?

—Neil through the Foxes’ eyes

—Neil through Ichirou’s eyes

—Neil’s looks post-book and relationship with his reflection

—Does Neil ever talk to Bee?

—Neil’s millions

—Neil’s fight training

—Who’s Neil closest to beside Andrew

—Neil’s fashion style

—Cellphone ringtone

—Christmas/birthday presents for Foxes

—Does Neil ever cry?

—Neil’s lonely fifth year

—When Neil’s overwhelmed

—Does Neil crush on his teammates?

—Neil & Ichirou’s intimidation

ANDREW

—Andrew’s sober look at his teammates & Neil

—How did Andrew react to Cass’s letter?

—Andrew’s medication and the follow-up

—Has Abby seen Andrew’s scars?

—Andrew & Mama Bee

—Andrew & Roland

—How far has Andrew willingly gone?

—What animal figurine did Andrew buy Betsy?

—Andrew’s eye color

—Andrew’s opinion of the cats

—What’d Andrew say to Nicky in TKM?

—Andrew’s honest opinion of Exy

—Andrew’s thoughts on Neil’s binder

—Andrew and his sexuality

—If Andrew had met Neil’s mother

—Andrew’s thoughts on Neil’s sexuality

—Andrew’s fondest memory of Neil

—Andrew’s aforementioned withdrawal

—Do you think Andrew is really really really awesome?

—Proust and Andrew

—What happens to Proust?

—Andrew’s reaction to Neil’s bday blood

—Andrew on Neil eventually changing out

—Does Andrew get grumpy?

—Does Andrew get less dead inside?

—Does Andrew call Neil by his name?

—Why give the Foxes crackers?

—Andrew’s first choices in winning a fight

—Who liked knives?

—What got chopped from Drake’s arc?

—Does Andrew get off thinking about Neil?

—Post Andrew & Bee’s side story?

—When did Andrew start thinking Neil was interesting?

—Any other words he can’t stand?

—What does he think about nicknames?

—Explain Andrew’s fatal disease in the comic version

—Andrew’s canon mental state

—How did Andrew not know about Tilda’s abuse?

—Why punch Neil for “Sorry”, and when Andrew is sick

—What’s with Andrew and promises

—Andrew’s thoughts on Roland’s premature confession

—Andrew’s arrest

—Wanting nothing vs not wanting anything

—Why was Andrew laughing after Drake?

—If Neil had chosen Dan & Matt over Andrew

NEIL & ANDREW

—The other 10%

—Which teammate caught on first?

—Do Andrew & Neil go on dates?

—When did they first hold hands?

—When did Andrew clue in?

—Exites self-censure

—Betsy’s & Aaron’s reactions to the news

—Roland’s opinion of things

—The breaking point

—Who tops?

—On tying people up

—Their domestic life aka Sir Fat Cat

—I love you

—Andrew and the bed issue

—Nightmares

—Do they learn to talk to each other?

—Blaming Neil for Drake

—Andrew comforting Neil?

—Neil’s fondest memory of Andrew

—Neil getting Andrew off for the first time

—Neil seeing Andrew naked

—Neil & the sex how-to

—How was the first time

—Where’d it happen?

—When was their first hug?

—“I won’t let you let me be”

—Their roadtrips

—Neil waking Andrew up

—Andrew’s real smile

—How does Andrew show appreciation for Neil

—Their happiest moments

—Does Neil ever make Andrew laugh?

—Does Andrew take comfort in Neil

—Does Andrew get protective/possessive?

—Doesn’t Neil crave affection?

—Andrew re: Neil’s panic attacks

—Media reaction to Andrew/Neil

—Further reaction to Andrew/Neil

—On “accidentally” sitting in laps

—What if Andrew died?

—What if Neil died?

—Reaction to getting hit on by others

—Do they celebrate anniversaries?

—The first time Neil pushes Andrew down

FOXES

—How tall are the Foxes?

—Why is everyone so short?

—Where did their names come from?

—What were their majors?

—What do the Foxes look like?

—What are their Hogwarts houses?

—Reaction to the kidnapping

—Do Neil & Renee become friends?

—What did Allison do with Seth’s urn?

—Nicky’s evolution over the drafts

—Do the Foxes get their skiing trip?

—Does Andrew know Nicky kissed Neil?

—When did Aaron & Katelyn fall for each other?

—How did Andrew and Wymack end up handcuffed together?

—Kevin’s favorite things

—Kevin and Andrew’s on-court kerfuffle

—Dan’s haircut

—Dan & Matt’s relationship

—Dan & Matt’s first kiss

—Matt bouncing back from Columbia

—Matt rooming with the monsters

—The other what-if OT3 aka D/M/N and the dynamic

—Do Allison and Renee have the hots for each other?

—Matt forgiving his father

—Any mistletoe shenanigans?

—Thanksgiving and the Foxes

—Kevin’s best friend

—Janie Smalls

—How did Kevin and Thea meet?

—Foxes’ favorite ice cream flavors

—Kevin & Andrew’s on-court argument

—Foxes’ taste in music

—Kevin’s middle name & drink of choice

—Do Kevin & Neil want to kiss?

—Which Fox would Kevin kiss, then?

—Kevin’s best non-Exy memory

—Allison’s three bets

—Why is Allison’s middle name Jamaica

—Kevin, Andrew, and Neil staying friends

—“Joan of Exy”?

—Can the Foxes sing?

—Some of the Foxes’ previous bets

—Do Nicky & Allison become friends?

—Are Foxes based on RL people?

—Nicky when Neil asks about friendship

—Dan & the monsters in Columbia

—What if Kevin was killed?

—Renee and her near-death experiences

—More background available on Renee?

—Why doesn’t Aaron let the Foxes in?

—Team’s reaction to Drake, Andrew’s reaction to being outed

—Andrew & Aaron’s time with Tilda

—Does Aaron reconcile with Andrew over Tilda?

—Nicky & his parents after Drake

—Foxes thoughts in Baltimore

FOXES POST-TKM

—The Pro Teams

—The Weddings

—Neil as the Best Man?

—Kevin after TKM —Thea, Jean, Foxes, and Riko

—How does Kevin & Wymack’s relationship evolve?

—Renee after TKM

—Nicky after TKM

—Aaron after TKM

—Allison after TKM

—Dan & Matt after TKM

—Dan and the US Court

—Any pro-period scandals?

—Andrew & Neil’s relationship with their team

—Would Neil hold Matt’s children?

—Neil & babysitting the Foxes’ kids

—Which Fox’s child would curse first

THE FUTURE FOXES

—Who is Robin Cross?

—Neil and Jack

—Andrew’s reaction to Neil punching Jack

—Foxes’ reaction to Neil punching

—Kevin and Jack

—Neil’s new recruit

—Andrew and Jack

RIVALS

—Who is Riko Moriyama?

—Riko & Kevin’s evolving relationship

—More about Riko & Kevin’s past

—How did Riko break Kevin’s hand

—Riko’s brutality toward Jean

—Any draft where Riko wasn’t killed?

—Were Riko, Kevin, and Jean involved sexually?

—Does the Fox-Trojan rematch happen? Also how do the Trojans & Jean get along?

—Do Alvarez & Laila (Trojans) have backstories?

—Thea’s number & thoughts on Raven brutality

THE “ADULTS”

—Kayleigh Day & David Wymack

—Abby Winfield & David Wymack

—Wymack’s parents

—Did Wymack cry during the trilogy?

—Did Kayleigh know about the Moriyamas?

.

.

.

.

Nora & the Foxes

—Fancast and Andrew

—Changing opinion of Foxes over the years

—Bits of the scrapped K/N/A threesome here and here

—The KxAxN AU where Kevin died

—Will there be a sequel?

—What inspired you to develop Exy?

—Fox fanfictions, collected by coldsaturn

—Why a pseudonym?

—What came first, characters or story?

—Were you the artist of the comic version?

—What did the comic-Foxes look like?

—What do you do when you’re not writing?

#All for the Game #The Foxhole Court #The Raven King #The King's Men #AFTG #TFC #TRK #TKM #Foxhole Court #Raven King #King's Men #Neil Josten #Andrew Minyard #Kevin Day #Nicky Hemmick #Aaron Minyard #Dan Wilds #Matt Boyd #David Wymack #Allison Reynolds #Renee Walker #Seth Gordon #Bee Dobson

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Just To Say

Marc Spector x GN!Reader • Rating: T•Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist • ko-fi •

Summary: Your notes to each other are a little unconventional.

🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜

A/N: Gestures vaguely.

Warnings: fluff, reader has a job where they have a desk and aren't at home, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 451

You open your lunchbox. The snap of the plastic lid crackling around the room. 

You shouldn’t really be eating at your desk, you should be taking a proper break, a rest from the work piled in front of you. But this week was just too hectic. There was too much work, and you just didn’t want to sacrifice the tiny sliver of breathing room you had managed to wrangle - that space that put you just a nose ahead of the deadlines. 

You chew on your thumbnail, fishing around to grab your food while still staring at the work in front of you.

Your hand finds a scrap of paper instead of your prepacked lunch and you grin, already knowing what it is before you even have to look. 

This is worth a little pause.

You pull the neatly folded piece of paper out so you can admire it fully. 

Despite its razor sharp neat edge, the actual paper is a roughly ripped piece of newspaper, every side having been torn messily. Newspaper. Your grin widens. That was new. 

Inside are block letters written in black felt tip pen. The lines have been drawn over many times, tracing the words so that they stand out harshly against the block printed text. 

The note reads: “I HOPE YOU HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY!” followed by three hearts. 

You chuckle to yourself and refold the note before placing it, very carefully, in your bag for safekeeping. You would add it to your collection when you got home. 

Marc wakes up groggily. Both Steven and Jake still fast asleep in the headspace. 

He screws his face up as he pats the space beside him in bed, eyes still closed, and grumbles when he finds it cold and empty. 

You must have thought he needed the rest and either woken up before your alarm, or, most likely, he had slept through it. 

He couldn’t remember a time when he had slept so soundly before he had shared a bed with you. 

Marc swears lightly when he looks at the time and, a little begrudgingly, gets up. He shuffles to the bathroom, still wiping sleep from his eyes and then laughs loudly when he catches sight of the mirrored cupboard on the wall. 

Bluetacked to the left side is a note written on an old receipt. A receipt. His smile widens. That was different. 

In block red capitals written messily with a ballpoint pen reads: “YOU SUCK!” followed by three Xs. 

He carefully takes the note off the mirror and touches the letters lightly as he beams at it. He’d have to show Jake and Steven when they were up before he put it in his safe place. 

____________________________________________

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @romanarose @saturn-rings-writes @boredzillenial @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho @pimosworld @melodygatesauthor @steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @lunar-ghoulie @dumdaradumdaradum @plastichearts @silvernight-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @apesarecuul @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom @spxctorsslxt

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

#marc spector #moon knight #moon knight mcu #marc spector x reader #x reader #marc spector x you #x you #marc spector x gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #marc spector x gn!reader #x gn!reader #my writing #fanfic #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters #moon knight events #moon knight bingo 2024

[tamlinweek]

Tamlin Week 2024 Master List

Once again, we want to thank each and every one of you for making this event so successful! If you would like to do us one more favor, please fill out this anonymous feedback form to let the mods know what you thought of Tamlin Week. Last year's survey was super helpful, especially in letting us know how to improve the event.

This post is the Super Mega Ultra Tamlin Week 2024 Master List! It has links to all the master lists for each day of Tamlin Week, with every single submission. At the bottom are links to more of the fun/helpful posts we've made in the lead up to Tamlin Week. Enjoy!

Tamlin Week 2024 Master Lists

Day 1: Heir of Spring/Human Tamlin

Day 2: Poet/Warrior

Day 3: Mates/Flower Language

Day 4: Calanmai/Happily Ever After

Day 5: Shapeshifter/Masquerade

Day 6: Dreams/Fairy Tale AU

Day 7: Free Day

Additional Links

Tamlin Week 2024 AO3 Collection (Instructions here)

Tamlin Week Statistics

Tamlin Creator Appreciation Posts

Tamlin Coloring Pages

The Language of Flowers

How to Participate in an Event

Tamlin vs. Tam Lin: A Brief Retelling

Tamlin Week 2024 Prompts, FAQ, and Rules

Tagging all the event's participants so everyone knows this is up!

@achaotichuman @alizangc @arson-09 @b0xerdancer-writes @balladoffeylin @bettdraws @booksnwriting @climbthemountain2020 @copypastus @dopeartisanprincess @duaghterofstories @elliemarchetti @feyres-divorce-lawyer @fieldofdaisiies @fourteentrout @foxcort @goddessofwisdom18 @goforth-ladymidnight @justatouristhere @loonyloomy @lorcandidlucienwill @lordofhaterism @mathiwrites @mirandasidefics @nocasdatsgay @northern-polaris @ohnyxlin @positivelyruined @praetorqueenreyna @queercontrarian @readychilledwine @rin-u-pos @shi-daisy @simmanin @songofthesibyl @sonics-atelier @szalonykasztan00 @tadpolesonalgae @tamlinfairchild @taymartiart @teddyhoneybear @the-new-mandalor @thelov3lybookworm @thisblogisaboutabook @thrumugnyr @umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken @vivictory-draws @wingsdippedingold

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #tamlin #pro tamlin #tamlin week #tamlinweek #tamlin week 2024 #tamlinweek2024 #master list #masterlist #thank you one and all!! we love you!! #tamcien #tamsand #feylin #neslin #nyxlin #tamris #tamlin/oc #tamlin/reader #tamlin/rhysand's sister #brilin

[sdbingo]

SEASONAL DELIGHTS BINGO - SPRING EDITION 💐

For this year's spring season, we have decided to go with the theme 'language of flowers'.

💐-

TYPES OF PROMPTS

flower prompts - almost each and every flower has a different meaning hidden behind it, or they symbolize different things and so for these kind of prompts, you get both a color and a flower as a prompt in one square and their meaning along with it. (for example; red roses, blue tulips, white lilies... if you ask us to do so, we will also send a small list of meaning  for each flower that is on your card)

spring prompts - spring themed prompts

general prompts - the prompts which were used for 'winter wonderland' bingo along with a couple of other extra's that were added through out the season of winter. general prompts are also divided into four smaller sections; - romantic & fluffy prompts,  - angsty & whumpy & 'scary' prompts,  - cinematic & video game & literary prompts, - dialogue & lyric & quote prompts.

💐-

This time we have two different themes (secret garden & flower bouquet) and two different versions of both of the themes (light & dark).

Every participant is able to request up to two cards.

The tags that we ask that you use for us to be able to re-blog your posts are; #seasonaldelightsbingo, #languageofflowersbingo (don't forget to tag @seasonaldelightsbingo too!)

💐 Posting period starts on march 1, 2024 till june 30, 2024.

💐 The sign up form is only available till march 15, 2024.

'Language of Flowers' Bingo Sign Up Form

#flowerbouquetbingo #flower bouquet bingo #seasonaldelightsbingo #seasonal delights bingo #writing prompts #writing ideas #writing bingo #art prompts #art event #drawing events #drawing prompt #drawing challenge #writing challenge #fandom challenge #fandom prompts #fandom event #fandom bingo

[mads-weasley]

Summary: After (y/n) signs up for the WAC's Athena Program, she joins the war with Easy Company, unaware of how much her life will change over the next few years.

Enchanted

Out of the Woods

Haunted

Evermore

Breathe

Daylight

Paris

You Are In Love

Lover

State of Grace

Labyrinth

You’re On Your Own, Kid

Forever Winter

Soon You'll Get Better

Right Where You Left Me

Castles Crumbling

Innocent - on break until spring 2024!!

epiphany playlist

message or comment if you want to be added to the tag list!!

#band of brothers #mads' fandoms #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #band of brother imagine #band of brothers masterlist #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers imagines #band of brothers series #band of brothers x you #band of brothers x y/n #lewis nixon #lewis nixon imagines #lewis nixon imagine #lewis nixon angst #lewis nixon x reader #lewis nixon fluff #nix #lewis nixon x reader angst #dick winters #richard winters #easy company x reader #easy company imagines #easy company imagine #wwii #world war 2 #101st airborne division #hbo war #ronald speirs #bill guarnere

[spicyseonghwas]

blood love - song mingi

pairing :: song mingi x male reader, mingi x yunho crumbs

viewer rating :: varies per chapter (bc of the content of each one)

genres :: fantasy, romance, smut

au's :: vampire!mingi (very old vampire), faerie!reader, hybrid!yunho

content warnings :: most will be listed with each chapter, but the series will include the following:

vampires & fae, kissing, physical contact, blood, death, food, cursing, alcohol consumption, possessive mingi, mind games, hickeys, sadism, masochism, vampire porn :3 (ie: sexual content), and at one point mingi roofies the reader on a date (what a dick am i right)

summary ::

song mingi, the very first- and only- and last- vampire the byzantine empire ever saw, never in all his 1,045 years, 2 months, and 10 days of life, thought eh would ever do something as... human... as fall in love.

love...

what a trivial thing...

or maybe not?

and l/n m/n, the live and existing- and heavily triple-checked- faerie in all of seoul, south korea, falls in and out of love like a flying fish in and out of the summer sea.

until one seemingly normal spring day, that is...

will song mingi change m/n's views on love?

or will m/n just be another snack for this ancient, wise vampire?

masterlist & chapter viewer ratings ::

chapter 1 | 15+

chapter 2 | 15+

chapter 3 | 16+ (potentially sensitive content)

chapter 4 | 16+ (potentially sensitive content)

chapter 5 | finale 18+ (sexual content)

chapter 6 | epilogue 16+

author's notes below the cut! if you want to be added to the series taglist, pleasse go here! no dm's pls! i promise you i will lose track of dm's... divider credit to @cafekitsune !

networks :: @cacaokpop-fics @preciousillusions-net

© bouncyyunho 2023-2024.

author's notes ::

+| please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in this series and any updates on it and its progress!

+| this story also happens to be one of the possible plotlines for mingi's interactive on the cryptids!ateez chatbot ive been working on for a good like... nine friggen months... hehe- except that hes a werewolf in the chatbot system, not the legendary byzantine vampire hahahahahahaha

+| but yeh. this is the reason ive been so radio silent lately... (my apologies about that friends :<) ive been working hard on this for like the whole school year so far (three weeks...)

#chaece.exe 🌑 #fever.dreams 🌑 #teasers 🌑 #cacaokpop #preciousillusionsnet #ateez #mingi #song mingi #ateez x male reader #song mingi x male reader #ateez x male reader smut #vampire!ateez #8 makes 1 team #mingi smut #vampire!mingi #mingi x male reader #mingi x male reader smut #song mingi x male reader smut

[aylinvail]

Tanna Talk: This Week in the Rogue Trader AO3 fandom (March 17 - 23 2024)

Hey hey hi, I want to be annoying on main so I thought it would be fun to start doing these weekly summaries of "What's new in the AO3 Rogue Trader fandom?" because my little rabbit brain can't keep up with the sheer amount of content and I loved @holylustration's dopamine week and think, you know what would be cool? Weekly newsletter style dop week minidose. This goes out to you @pycnolite my darling fellow organizer brained fan. Anyway, this is user aylinvail reporting to you live over vox caster from the Starseeker Bridge.

Events

Flowers of Spring (March 21, 2024) has officially concluded. Flowers of Spring is a floral-themed Warhammer 40k Rogue Trader Edition. You can find all the entries on the Flowers of Spring (March 21 2024) tag. This was preceded by Rosette Coordinated Strike Day which was dedicated in honor of Inquisitor @leadflowers's birthday.

Cool new fics

Maybe the fic did something new. Maybe it innovated. Maybe it's an entirely new concept we haven't seen yet. A non-comprehensive list. Here's what I chomped on this week.

Salt in the Wound - user Weretoad_Writer explores the aftermath of the decision to exterminatus Rykad Minoris. Excerpt: "When you’re a hammer, every problem looks like a nail, right? So either take a swing or get the fuck away from me!”

Omnissiah Forgive Me - user @jaal-ama-daravv has launched the long awaited Pasqal/RT longfic. Excerpt: "Okay, Tech-Priest, you don’t get to die that easily.”

Killing Instinct - user @nerendus cooked a very sexy Tervantias the Archmachinator x RT dead dove fic. Excerpt: “Then don't allow it,” the Rogue Trader suggests. “Force me into submission as I do the same to you. Break me as I break you.”

Who updated?

Just because my silly rabbit brain is at capacity for longfics doesn't mean it's impossible to round everyone else's plot rabbits up.

Theatre of Hearts - RT/Nocturne of Oblivion arranged marriage. And from what I hear, getting really cultural difference-flavor of interesting.

My Knight So Daring - An Imperial Knight!Heinrix x noble!RogueTrader arranged marriage AU. And from what I hear, getting really hot.

Edge of Daybreak Unbroken - Heretic Rogue Trader gets brought back to the start of the game. Time travel shenanigans ensue.

Into Temptation - Ministorum priest x Marazhai x Heinrix. Dead dove!

Pigeons and Eagles - Argenta/Cassia! Enemies to Friends to Lovers.

Tapestry of Fate II - Heinrix/RT. The Godmother of Rogue Trader Heinrix fics. Elena M is currently the furthest along the events of the game out of all the current longfics.

Starseeker - Heinrix/RT intrigue rewrite of game events with Kunrad-related canon divergence. And a shoujo romance.

I Can Be Your China Doll, If You’d Like To See Me Fall - RT/Calcazar. RT is voidborn and Theo's daughter, has met Calcazar before game events.

gossamer of starlight - RT/Yrliet. Yrliet watches her elantach's dynasty fall apart in slow motion. Non chronological.

A Thousand Floating Worlds - OC/Calligos Winterscale where Calligos becomes the Rogue Trader to save his Found Family from Interrogator Calcazar.

Addendums

will be updated, changed in the next few days, changes logged here. I just needed to get this out of my brainstem.

- Added I Can Be Your China Doll, If You’d Like To See Me Fall, gossamer of starlight as of March 22. Added A Thousand Floating Worlds on March 23.

#rogue trader #warhammer 40k #warhammer fanfic #warhammer 40k fanfic #rogue trader crpg #warhammer 40k rogue trader #marazhai aezyrraesh #heinrix #cassia orsellio #sister argenta #heinrix van calox #ao3 fanfic #archive of our own #fanfiction #fanfic #lorraine's list

[burntheedges-updates]

Over Again - main post & chapter list

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming.

or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)

18+ minors DNI

key themes: alternating timeline (2000-2003 / 2023-2024), 90s/00s country and latin music and dancing, romance, family vibes series tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, romance, light angst (plus the angst of thinking the other person is dead for 20 years, aka the TLOU norm), pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), small age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000), no use of y/n, teacher!reader (with vague details), smut (I'll update specific warnings for each chapter, but just FYI for later chapters: Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), a bit of manhandling and spitting, a lot of sex) (feel free to dm any specific questions) a/n about reader: I've paid a lot of attention to how the reader is described in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. a/n: this is the first fic I've written in almost 20 years. this man, I swear. wordcount: 42.6k

This fic is completely finished and posted! Chapter links under the cut.

Read it on ao3

Bonus: Mix CD (plot related) & series playlist, with headcanons: here.

Chapter List

Five times you and Joel fell deeper in love…

Chapter 1 - Meet Cute - Jackson, Early Winter 2023 | Austin, Summer 2000

Chapter 2 - Breaking the Ice - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 3 - Dinner - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 4 - First Date - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 5 - Staying Over - Boston, September 26, 2003 | Jackson, Spring 2024

… and one time you did something about it.

Epilogue: Together - Austin, December 2002 | Jackson, Early Fall 2024

Outtakes and Snippets

Canned Heat (Austin, October, 2001)

Preview/sneak peeks: fic preview | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #x reader

[storyofmychoices]

Tag List Clean Up — Spring 2024

I haven't done one of these in a while... so I figured it was about time. I was going to just drop everyone who hasn't interacted with a fic in the last 3 months, but I figures I'd at least give people the option to stay if they want it.

Below the cut is my current tag list. By the end of May, I will create a new tag list based on who interacts with this post!

If you would like to stay, be added, or be moved, please let me know.

If you'd like to be removed and you haven't interacted recently, you don't have to do anything. If you want to be removed but have interacted recently (last 3 months), just let me know. No hard feelings either way!

Choices Perma: @lilyoffandoms ; @quixoticdreamer16 ; @princess-geek ; @trappedinfanfiction ; @stars-are-within-me ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @thosehallowedhalls ;   @alj4890 ; @aallotarenunelma ; @peonierose ; @twinkleallnight

Bryce Lahela: @liaromancewriter ; @superharriet ; @jerzwriter ;

@lucy-268 ; ; @burnsoslow ; @nyastarlight   ;@jamespotterthefirst ; @kyra75; @weaving-in-words;

Thomas Hunt: ; @peonyblossom ; @lucy-268 ; @reinereinegoaway ; @curiouslittlefreak ; @hopelessromantic1352

Ethan Ramsey: @liaromancewriter ; @jerzwriter ; @tessa-liam ; @burnsoslow ; @peonyblossom ; ; @jamespotterthefirst ; @curiouslittlefreak ; @lucy-268 ;

Blades: @noesapphic; @missameliep ; @nyastarlight ; @rosepetals1 ; @ao719

COP: @ao719 ; @cassie-thorne   ; @jerzwriter, @tessa-liam

MOTY (Levi): @lorirwritesfanfic ; @noesapphic; @lucy-268 ; @bebepac ;

Troy Hassan: @jerzwriter ; @missameliep ; @peonyblossom ; 

The Unexpected Heiress (Mr. John): @lorirwritesfanfic

The Elementalists (Beckett):

Save the Date (Justin Mercado): @lucy-268 ; 

Purple names are ones that are staying where they are or have been moved to where requested and will be on the new tag list

#lovealexhunt #storyofmychoices #tag list clean up