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arthenaa · 5 months

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ikaw at ikaw (only you) — mizu x f!reader

synopsis: 4 times your team lead chose you and 1 time you chose her.

content: modern!au, office romance, you and mizu are creatives, specifically in the character and concept design department in a very very famous gaming company (take a guess), she is your creative director and lead designer and you are the concept artist, 4+1 format, FLUFF, work relations, dynamic, and position might not be accurate, forgive me, this is basically just me projecting yet again.

a/n: this is requested by @andieperrie18 ! the answer shit isn't letting me edit my answer so ill be @-ing you here. TYSM FOR ENJOYING MY WORKS !! means a lot ... u also chose pasilyo 🥹🥹🥹🥹 sunkissed lola is the best

Being part of the creatives team was a nightmare.

To tell you the truth, the position for a Concept Artist with a specialty in 2D design wasn't actually all that bad. The monthly benefits and wage were something you're quite lucky to receive considering the constant side eye other departments have with the admin's treatment of the artist employees. This was also your dream job—having had to play their games, specifically, VALORANT, left you in awe and gearing to apply once you were ready for an Internship. After your OJT course, you were accepted for a position in Character and Concept Design and are considered one of the team's most beloved artists (Your followers on Twitter reckon so).

In short, the work environment was great. A solid 15/10 experience—I mean how can you beat a company that caters not only to you as an artist but also as a player? Nothing can beat that feeling of satisfaction once you see your work displayed on various monitors all around the world.

It was more of ... the relationships and interactions with that work space environment that left you grasping at a chance to breathe.

People think you're overreacting but you think it's completely reasonable.

"Yes, you are overreacting."

Your face falls at Taigen's words—watching as he plays a round of unrated in the company's leisure space decked with state of the art PC builds that could definitely beat your poor touchscreen fridge with just a move of its mouse. You could hear the familiar voicelines of Jett from VALORANT as he uses the character's abilities to swiftly enter the site and take a hold of the defenders' positions.

Taigen is part of the Gaming Development Department in the VALORANT Team. He often does routine user gameplay checks and one of its perks is that you literally just have to play the game and get paid for it. You think its unfair but then again, its Taigen. He's always unfair.

"I think you're just saying that to be mean," You frowned, eyes trained on his face—the lights reflecting back on his stupid, stupid, clear-skinned face. Taigen rolls his eyes but not an ounce of his focus leaves the game.

"Being honest equals to being mean, got it." Taigen's voice comes out in a sarcastic tone. You kick a speck of dust on the cement floor, twirling in the gaming chair you're seated on.

"I just think its a reasonable thing to complain about!" You throw your hands in the air in an attempt to get him to look at your side of things. "You're completely unfazed because your team lead has the patience of a mother with 7 kids."

You hear the familiar cue of an ACE kill as Taigen hits a headshot on the last player. The game's interface shifts to the winner screen and finally, he turns to you, pulling his headphones off and giving his best deadpan stare.

"You're freaking out over Mizu sighing over your concept design proposal for Neon and overanalyzed even the way she drank her coffee because you're obsessed with her like that." Taigen arches his eyebrow to make the situation all the more ridiculous. Your mouth closes and opens like a fish out of water. "Am I right? Wait no, don't answer that. I know I am."

"What the fuck?" Your voice comes out in a desperate attempt of self-defence but it ultimately just sounds defeated. Taigen chuckles as he turns back to his monitor to take a look at the game stats.

"Look," Taigen tries to be empathetic but you're pretty sure this is just to get you off his back. The queue for competitive is already up and running. "As your friend, I say this with the love that I have for you and your works but please, Mizu is just one woman. If my mind process went like yours, I would've assumed Akemi hated my very existence and this is coming from someone who IS dating Akemi."

You purse your lips in thought as he raises his eyebrows in exaggeration. You're not exactly sure why you approached Taigen with this problem but he was the only familiar face that you saw after walking out of the meeting room in a hurry.

But then the question in this situation is who exactly is Mizu?

Well, there were a lot of things you could associate with the familiar blue-eyed director. Mizu is your boss—the creative director for Concept and Character design for the VALORANT team. She oversees character ideas, map visuals, detailing, and the final approval for character and asset ideation before it's sent for building in the 3D and VFX departments. She is your employer but you can also consider her your friend, albeit a highly respected one (she did the character design for Jett and Yoru).

It's not that you were obsessed—Taigen is wrong, he's always wrong—it was definitely because you respected her very much. Being a Riot Design Lead is basically fucking God. You create and give life to ideas. She's part of the original team that worked on the pre-release of VALORANT during its early stages and got to see the whole thing unfold. Something you wished to see back then but glad that you were able to become part of the journey despite being a few patches late.

You respected her enough to always want to be on her good side. I mean, who wouldn't? She's talented and very... youthful-looking and one of Riot's youngest leads, you honestly think that being worried over her approval like this is just a matter of respect and definitely NOT obsession.

"You're doing that thing where you space out and I have to assume that it's probably because of Mizu, yeah?" Taigen's voice intercepts your reprieve and suddenly, a curl of your eyebrows creates a look of annoyance on your face.

"I am not obssesed with Mizu," You reiterate, but this time with your mouth. "I just... respect her."

Taigen leans back on his gaming chair, nodding as if you just told him that he didn't need to double double-click everything.

"That's the most unbelievable shit I've heard today," Taigen finally replies with a scrunch of his nose. Your jaw falls open.

"I do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"Do fucking not—Stop it."

Taigen purses his lips, and makes a motion of zipping his mouth and shaking his head. You huff in anger. Taigen was never going to believe you.

Just as you were about to chastise him again for being mistaken, a knock on the glass doors notifies you of a new presence. You turn by instinct and your eyes widen in shock and probably, dread—who knows.

"There you are," Mizu's voice filters through your ears like classical music on a good Friday evening. You stammer slightly as she enters the area, eyes trained on you through those tinted orange specs. Mizu momentarily greets Taigen who only raises his hand in greeting before turning towards the screen (only you can see through your peripheral vision that this motherfucker is laughing). "I've been looking for you."

"You did?" Your voice comes off quiet. Mizu furrows her eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah?" She replies with a confused tone. "I had your concept design for Neon approved, it was more direct compared to Matt's. I wanted to tell you in person since you just bolted from the meeting room."

You fall silent at her words. She looks a bit concerned as you try to make sense of the information.

"You seem in shock—Are you okay?" Mizu asks, eyes glancing towards Taigen who looks at her before shrugging.

You feel your heart speed up. You momentarily calm yourself before finally responding. "Y-Yeah, sorry. Just didn't think that you'd approve it."

Mizu tilts her head like a fucking cat and you're quite sure you would drop dead then and there. "Why not? It's your work."

You're not sure what she means by that but a sudden shiver runs through your veins at her praise and suddenly your cheeks are flushing.

"Ah," You're voice fills in the silence, awkward and quiet. "Thank you?"

There's a pause of silence before Mizu chuckles. She heaves a breath before pulling the glass door open.

"I'll see you at my office, Y/N." She smiles. "Great work."

The silence further pushes you into the void as you and Taigen watch her exit and disappear into another hallway through the glass windows. Just as you were a few minutes ago, you lean forward to slouch over your knees, hands on your face as you meltdown from what just happened. You hear Taigen chuckle beside you.

"Give it a few more months and she'll give you a ring on your finger with a bent knee on the ground."

You sob into your hands as Taigen erupts in heaps of laughter.

Oh my fucking God.

The release for Neon was a hit. An all-time new duelist originating from the Philippines, your concept design took off without a hitch. It's safe to say that your hard work paid off as you stood over the central common room—leisure areas decked with your coworkers trying out and celebrating the release. A sense of satisfaction fills you.

"I hear you spearheaded the design concept for Neon," A voice infiltrates your sense like a lure. You can't help but smile at its familiarity. Akemi wraps her arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder as she continues. "Marketing was thrilled with the positive response. Good job."

You turn around, her arms loosely accommodating you. "Akemi," you coo.

The girl grins wide and pulls you into a hug. You return the affection in a grander gesture of squeezing her tight against you.

Akemi's part of the Marketing Department for Riot. While she often creates publication material for VALORANT, she also has cross work with League of Legends for its various strategic releases (ie. KDA).

"I just want to say that I already predicted Neon would be a sure hit, it's your work after all," Akemi pulls away from the hug with a smug smile. She grabs your hands in hers, swinging them slowly. "Marketing it was like a breeze in the park."

You laugh softly at her enthusiasm. "You give me way too much credit."

Akemi rolls her eyes affectionately. "Humility is a disease—live a little."

You shake your head at her quips, opting to smile in response. A member of your team passes by, eyes widening in recognition of you before giving you a thumbs up. Akemi watches the interaction—eyes trained on that person's figure as they walked towards Mizu who was busy talking to other creative team leads. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion at her prolonged silence.

"Who are you—?" Your words trail off as you turn to look at what she's so focused on before turning back at the sight of Mizu. "Nevermind."

Akemi raises her eyebrow with an amused look on her face. "Taigen always has a penchant for exaggerating but I didn't think it was this bad?"

Your face falls at the information. "Taigen told you?"

Akemi gives you a 'duh' look—eyebrows raised and eyes half-lidded. "Taigen's a loose lock if you pry hard enough. He basically can never keep a secret."

You give her a deadpan stare before shifting in your position. Akemi crosses her arms over her chest as she eyes you up and down—filled to the brim with amusement. "I'm fine, stop making a big deal out of it."

"Uh huh," Akemi squints her eyes playfully. You could only glare back in response.

The loud cheering at the front catches your attention as resident workers, interns, and newbies alike begin to tune in at the commotion. Akemi and you move to the sidelines, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you tried to find out what's happening.

"What's happening?" You ask the person to your front. He turns, eyes beaming with excitement.

"The creative director for C&C got pulled in a 1v1. They're playing against Beckham."

Your breath hitches at the information. Akemi nudges you with her elbow, overhearing the conversation. The two of you move to the side, finally getting a glimpse of the two team leads focused on a custom game of VALORANT. Your eyes zone in on familiar raven locks seated on the right monitor.

A live stream of their game is projected on the monitor up front and suddenly you feel sick from the amount of butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

She's playing Neon. The character you designed.

Oh God. You watched her take kill after kill, headshot after headshot as she sprinted across the map—zapping characters with Neon's electric abilities. You've never seen someone look so fucking hot playing an FPS game before. It's doing things to your brain.

Just as you expected, the winning banner appears on Mizu's screen and the C&C Team erupts in cheers. You become entranced at the sight—a few of your co-workers patting her on the back before she erupts in smiles and laughs. This is not healthy for your heart.

And just as you think the night couldn't get any better, one of the people from the Marketing departments begins stirring up an interview.

"What made you choose Neon on the character pick? You usually go for Sentinels, no?"

Your eyes meet and suddenly you could feel your heart skip a few beats. Mizu chuckles.

"Wanted to do a duelist around for a spin," Mizu replies. "The design and character visuals for Neon was amazing and I ought to pay the artist who did it a homage."

Suddenly all eyes are on you—some of them even "ooh-ing" for being praised by Mizu. You pale at the attention before doing a hesitant bow in gratitude.

Mizu pulls the headphones off her head and smiles. "Congrats, Y/N. Hope you liked the win."

You feel Akemi stir up beside you, chuckling at the interaction.

You're going to die. You can feel it and its all because of your boss.

Okay, maybe admitting that you were a little bit obsessed and crushing over your employer was a bit overdue. You weren't exactly the type to parade your feelings around the office but if people were to zone in on you acting sheepish and awkward around Mizu, there was a 55% chance that you could tell based on that alone.

It wasn't like your admiration for Mizu started on a whim. As said countless and countless times, it had a foundation of respect until Mizu started trying to get to know and interact with you and those same feelings of admiration started to change. What else were you supposed to do? Mizu is a fucking all-in-one holiday basket—you didn't have it in you to resist the charms.

It also didn't help that over the past few days, Mizu seems to have her undivided attention on you. Showering you with praises, asking if you wanna spearhead a certain project, revel in your work—all that shit. It's messing with your productivity and mindset and that's not a good idea.

The Head Director for the VALORANT Team had decided to call a night out for drinking to reward the team for the positive feedback for the latest patch. You were quite thankful for the opportunity as this was a way for you to get a moment of rest from Mizu's constant attention. Not that you were complaining, it's just a little... too much.

You were seated at the far right booth of the restaurant, keeping to yourself as you watched Ringo and Taigen begin to have a debate about team composition. Akemi grumbles beside you, clearly not enjoying whatever the fuck these two were talking about.

"Look," Taigen holds his hands out in front of him, trying to make a point. "All I'm saying is if you keep putting DPS builds on your team comp, how in the hell will you be able to maximize their kit? Supports are there for a reason."

Ringo rolls his eyes. "It's called enjoying the game, Taigen. So what if I want to put dick 1, dick 2, and dick 3, together?"

Taigen's jaw drops. "Do you know how much skill point dependent they are? I'm even surprised you could bust a skill out." The raven haired man pauses before continuing with a face contorted in disgust. "And stop calling them dick 1,2,3? It's Dan Heng, Blade, and Jing Yuan."

"Of course you'd police that as well. You look like that fucking emoji." Ringo raises his prosthetic hand, imitating pushing up a pair of glasses. "Um, actually—"

"You are as annoying as my grandmother, do you know that?" Taigen snarls, eyes pulled into a glare. Your tall huggable co-worker only grins and bats his eyelashes.

You begin to tune out the two as Akemi excuses herself to take a cigarette break—already having enough of their banter. You eye the glass of beer in front of you, watching as the liquid sloshes around with each twirl of your wrist.

You had hoped to end the night with silence but alas, you can never get everything that you wanted. You feel a pair of eyes on you—direct and unashamed. Already having a feeling on who this was, you looked up and met the reflection of the ocean.

'You okay?' She mouths, concern overflowing her features. It's subtle enough for people to not notice her sudden shift of attention but enough for you to understand her. Your cheeks flush as you nod back with the same softness that she had thrown your way.

She nods in understanding, sending a soft smile your way before turning back towards her conversation with the Head. You hang your head down, wishing that the night would end faster so that you can finally have the moment of peace you have been wanting ever since this morning.

It was as if the world decided to cast hell upon you and revoked you of your rights to peace at the arrival of yet another problem.

"L/N!" The Head Director's voice encompassed the whole area—eyes turning towards him then at you in amusement. "You're one of the star employees and yet you haven't touched a single speck on that glass of yours!"

His hearty laughter follows—giggles and cheering from you co-workers following suite. You sweat drop, eyes darting to Taigen and Ringo who both looked away at your glare before turning towards the window where Akemi sends you a gracious thumbs up, a cigarette hanging from her lips. You groan.

"I-I'm fine," You wave your hand, laughing it off. Your eyes connect with Mizu, an unreadable look on her face as she takes a sip of her chosen beverage.

God decides to punish you more as the team lead beside Mizu chimes in. "Oh c'mon! You're a great asset to the company! I suggest drink up!"

One of your team members passes a full pint of beer as the others begin to urge you to drink up. You hadn't felt the intensity of peer pressure ever since your dance recital on 10th grade and that wasn't even as half bad as this. You weren't feeling on drinking yourself to death as well so trying to down a full pint of beer was a ticket for you to the afterlife (ie. you on your bed with puke all over the floors). The previous pint you had was enough.

You tried to decline as humbly as you could, afraid that this might be the instance that you could finally be fired off from Riot. You knew that if they kept pushing a 3rd more of their attempts that you'd probably give in for the sake of never doing this again but while the need hasn't yet arisen, you'll try fighting off the urge to be a people-pleaser.

Just as you finally begin to decline for the nth time, a hand emerges to your right—pushing the pint of beer in your co-worker's hands. The table falls silent. Your breath falters as the familiar scent of lavender and probably a hint of sunlight begins to seep in from behind you.

"Stop pressuring her like that," Mizu's voice sounds so close —your heart hammering off your chest. Your co-worker gives Mizu a sheepish smile.

"C'mon Mizu, let your team live a little!" The Head laughs once more before leaning forward with a smug smirk. "Unless you'll save this one yet again?"

There's a pause of silence as your co-workers darted between them—back and forth. You feel Mizu sigh behind you before her arms encase you against the table, one arm placed on the beside you each. Your breath hitches.

"Sorry," She mutters as she reaches for the pint. You stammer, turning towards her as you reach out to her wrist by instinct. Mizu blinks with her eyes wide open, suddenly surprised by your actions.

"Y-you don't have to!" You murmured, trying to keep your voice low. Mizu's eyes are unreadable. "You don't drink—!"

The woman chuckles before patting your hand and gently pulling herself off your grasp. "It's okay." She says.

You watch with stammering breath as she gulps the pint in one go, others cheering as she did. The Head claps.

"Didn't expect to see Mizu downing a beer today but here we are," The man bellows in laughter. Mizu chuckles, wiping the residue off her lips. You could only stare at her in shock.

Mizu glances down at you with a smile before patting your head then walking off. Your gaze trails on her and somehow the hammering within you becomes all the more intense.

Oh, Lord.

It was supposed to just be a little game—a past time that the others decided to force you along. You really had no qualms joining games like this but if it concerns the people around you, especially in your work place, somehow you feel the risk of being outed for liking someone in you work space.

"If you guys wanted to date someone in the office, who'd you pick?" Ise leans forward, eyes squinted as she gives you and Akemi a smirk. The three of you were currently lounging in the cafeteria during you lunch break. There weren't many people present due an event going on in one of the building's sectors, so having a conversation like this somehow was less anxiety inducing.

"Taigen, unfortunately," Akemi deadpans. Ise rolls her eyes.

"I mean! Besides him," Ise whispers excitedly. "There's a newbie from marketing that looks cute but kinda quiet, maybe he's nice."

"You mean Takayoshi?" Akemi raises an eyebrow as she takes a sip of her tea. You glance back and forth between them.

"Is that his name?" Ise watches Akemi nod in response. "Well, I'll just have to go get his number then."

Akemi shakes her head at Ise's musings and you had hoped that the conversation would end there, but Ise suddenly turns to you with that mischievous look in her eye.

"What?" You whisper out, eyebrows furrowed in innocence. Akemi side glances you, the corners of her lips upturned in a smile. God, she was enjoying this too.

"What about you, Y/N?" Ise props her arm on the table, placing her cheek on her palm. "Got someone you're interested in?"

You avoid eye contact. "No."

Ise leans forward with a gasp. "You do!"

"I don't!" You reiterate with urgency. You turn to Akemi with a frantic stare. "Tell her I don't."

Ise turns to Akemi who smiles. "She doesn't."

"Bullshit." Ise deadpans. "The moment I'd believe Akemi with a smile on her face is the moment I'd die," Akemi flashes her middle finger at her to which Ise returns generously. Finally, the girl turns to you—chair scooted over to your right as she flashes you her doe eyes. "So? Who is it?"

You Akemi chuckle against her cup as you stammer in front of Ise. "I don't really like someone though?"

"Lies," Ise declares. "We might not be that close but you got that twitch in your eye that already tells me something. Who is it?"

"Ise," You plead, eyes darting around the space. Somehow, saying it out loud meant that you're solidifying the fact that you liked Mizu—an occurrence you'd like to keep to yourself as much as possible. You loved Ise, you really do. You worked with her hand in hand in bringing Neon to life (You worked on her design while she worked on the 3D build) and have become tremendously grateful for her critique and contributions to your work. But this, this was something else. You could feel your heart speed up as she started listing some names.

"Is it Beckham? That piece of shit always too full himself." Ise places a hand on her chin in thought. "Or Ringo? Nah, he's way too focused on content map-building."

There's a pause of silence before an 'aha!' look spreads through her face. You prayed that she would get it wrong but this is Ise we're talking about.

"Is it perhaps," Ise pauses, eyes darting all over your face. "Mizu—"

"What about me?"

The three of you tense, eyes darting behind you as you turn to find the familiar stance of your boss. She leans forward, a hand on the back of your chair as she gives the three of you a curious glance. You hadn't heard her at all, and something about Ise's frantic glance towards you says she didn't expect the same thing as well.

"W-we we're just listing people we found attractive," Ise laughs uncomfortably under Mizu's stare. The creative director glances at Akemi who raises an eyebrow at her. Somehow there was a silent conversation going on between the two that left you confused.

"Really?" Mizu asks, the ends of her words trailing off as she glances back at Ise. "Who said I was attractive?"

"It was Y/—"

"NO ONE!" You exclaimed, cutting Ise off with a jump. You flush under Mizu's wide gazed, surprised at your interference. Somehow, the way you said it implied that no one found her attractive at all, and that was way too wrong so you caught yourself before you delved into a pit of despair. "I mean, w-we haven't started and was just listing people off."

Mizu nods slowly in understanding, eyes examining your face for any slip-ups. You looked away from the intensity.

Ise finally saves your ass. "Yeah. What she said."

"What about you, Director?" Akemi chimes in from your left and both you and Ise turn to her with wide gazes. She simply smiles over her cup, face contorted in a mischievous look. You couldn't read Mizu at all. You had expected Akemi to drop it—after all, she wasn't even joining in on Ise's incessant need to know everything about everyone. "Who do you find the most attractive in this office, hm?"

You can feel Mizu shifting behind you before a chuckle pulls out from her lips. You turn towards her in curiosity as she flashes a smile towards you.

"I'd pick Y/N, of course,"

Huh?

Akemi rolls her eyes, somehow already expecting the answer. Your jaw drops at her response as Mizu turns to Ise who already has a knowing look on her face.

"She's just that reliable," Mizu looks back down towards you, those shades of blue peeking from her tinted glasses. She pinches your cheek in a flash before pulling away. "Cute too."

You turn away, afraid that the flush on your cheeks might've given you away.

"Anyways, I just dropped by to see what's happening outside the event," Mizu sighs, pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. "I'll see you girls around."

Your interactions always end up one sided somehow. She gives and then leaves—resulting in you malfunctioning from whatever she's left for you to deal with.

Ise turns to you with a mischievous grin when Mizu finally turns the corner. "You and the Director huh?"

"Shut up, oh my God."

"Why do you always do stuff like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're not leaving me any room to process the shit you do?"

Mizu lets out quiet laughs from beside you. 10:47 pm. Normally, work hours in the office end at about 9 but you've learned that staying late is where the good things happen.

"I literally just told you 'good job' the other day and you malfunctioned in front of me," Mizu giggles, leaning forward as she tapped you on the nose with the pen to her digital tablet. "And I heard everything by the way. Quite adorable of you to deny everything."

You flush under her affectionate gaze. "Everyone's so gossipy. You can't blame me."

Mizu turns her chair towards you, arms reach out to take a hold of your own before pulling them close to her side. You lean back at her sudden proximity.

"Well you can't blame me either when you're this adorable," Mizu grins. You furrow your eyebrows, finally leaning close as you cupped her cheeks within your palms.

"You even drank beer," You whisper, tone apologetic. "You don't even like alcohol."

Mizu leans into your touch. "And you don't like being pressured into something you don't want to do. I can sacrifice a little bit of something I don't like just for you."

You melt at her words, eyes darting over her softened features. "Thank you," You whisper, grateful.

"Anything for my girlfriend," Mizu teases. You roll your eyes before pulling her into a soft kiss. She kisses back instantly, hands gripping the arm chair as you take lead of the kiss. After a few pecks and chaste kisses here and there, you finally pull back—reveling in the soft flush across Mizu's cheeks.

"Also," You chime in. Mizu raises an eyebrow. "I was the one who pursued, not you. Correct that when they catch on."

Mizu chuckles at your words. "Right on. Akemi threatened me the other day, saying something like, 'I forbid you from dating Y/N Y/L/N, Mizu Tagawa!' Funniest shit, I've heard. If only she knew."

You pinch her cheeks, giggling at her words. "Of course, she's say that."

There's a pause of silence before Mizu turns to her work, a sketch of VALORANT's newest agent displayed on screen.

"Want to help me with the new guy?" She nudges towards the screen. "Heard he's French."

You turn to her monitor, dozens of details sketched on the edges with a version of her idea of the new agent. You grin, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"You could've just asked me to marry you." You tease. "Also, sure."

You turn towards the table and pulled her tablet towards you. Mizu scoffs as you take over her work.

"And if I actually did?"

"Sure, Mizu, sure."

"I'm serious!"

a/n: hey guys!!! this was so fun to write and honestly i was just inspired to do this request bc ive been drafting an office romance for mizu after the roommate thing. hope yall enjoyed ! if yall arent familiar with valorant, here are the agents mentioned or referenced (neon & chamber (french guy)). also mizu's last name is derived from master eiji's va! cary-hiroyuki tagawa!

#arthenaa #mizu x you #mizu x reader #mizu bes #the blue eyed samurai x reader #the blue eyed samurai

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particular-one · 1 year

Text

you are in love.

pairing: dan heng x reader author’s note: i have so many dan heng angst drafts, it’s funny that i ended up finishing the one that's more fluffy and comforting(?). awkward and touch starved danheng my beloved. 🤍 listen to taylor swift’s you are in love for the ✨experience✨

you can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home.

dan heng wasn’t a man of many words. march has chastised him multiple times about this, but he preferred to keep things as brief and curt as possible. it wasn’t like he had nothing particular to say — he likely did, if he were being honest — but dan heng found it futile to voice out his insights if it contributed to nothing.

that was, however, not the case when it came to you.

“how do you sleep in here? there’s so many things on the floor …” you quipped, hands grazing on the books neatly lined up on the shelves. on a normal occasion, dan heng would have been able to say something pragmatic like “i find it impractical to decorate.” or “i prefer it like this.”, but something about you always had his tongue tied, so the best he could do was gape at you like a fish. since when did dan heng started to act this way around you? he didn’t understand why he stumbled with his responses or why his palms were always sweaty when you flashed him your signature smile juxtaposed to the sight of you having just killed a fragmentum monster. himeko had pulled him aside one time to ask him what was up, but dan heng simply brushed it off as a natural reaction to a friend, a good friend.

himeko didn’t believe him, naturally. but even if she didn’t, dan heng was grateful that she didn’t press on.

“dan heng?” oh, right — “i manage.” was all he replied. after all that musing and pondering, it was the best he could come up without getting tongue tied again. you simply gave him a soft smile before leaning against the bookshelf. “all things considered though, it’s a pretty nice space. i wish i could have gotten a room in the astral express at least.”

“then stay.” you looked at dan heng all of a sudden, and that was when he realized that he had in fact said that out loud. “w-with us, i meant.” it seemed so uncharacteristic of him to blurt something out without thinking — but your soft laugh only further complicated the turns and backflips at the pit of his stomach.

“you’re too sweet. i would,” you took a pause, and for a moment, dan heng’s hopes soared. “if i could.” aaaand he could hear his heart fall flat on the floor. dan heng simply nodded, lowering his head in an attempt to mask his own disappointment.

the sudden hand on his shoulder felt electric, and dan heng’s eyes met yours, as captivating as ever. you still had that soft smile, with a gleam in your eyes that dan heng always lost himself in. you radiated with a warmth that dan heng could not find in anyone else, but he was so, so hopelessly lost in trying to convey any of this to you. “now, now, don’t tell me you’re going to miss me?” there was your signature grin now, the one you used to tease him with.

“yes.”

you blinked, as if it was a surprise. even dan heng blinked, equally surprised himself. and yet, you were quick to brush the answer off with another laugh — and dan heng couldn’t help himself anymore.

it was probably a good time to burst out in a lengthy speech of the extent of his feelings, but dan heng was not a man of many words. so his hand simply reached out to meet your free hand, before interlocking your fingers together before you even thought of letting go. for a moment, dan heng thought you actually would, but moments passed where the two of you just stared at each other in silence. if there was something that dan heng was exceptional at, it was probably holding a gaze longer than usual, much better than when he is expressing himself. though he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up.

“dan heng ...” thankfully, you were the first to break the silence, but you had a strange look in your face that he couldn't make out. you seemed to glance up and down but never meeting his gaze, which unnerved him even further. before he could stop himself, his hand cradled the side of your cheek, as gentle as ever. say it, say it please.

all you did was smile, before mouthing the three words that broke and mended dan heng's heart simultaneously.

i'll miss you.

you can see it with the lights out, you are in love — true love.

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng #dan heng x y/n #dan heng x reader #hsr x you #hsr x reader #star rail #x reader #hsr fluff #dan heng x you #dan heng fluff #dan heng my beloved #dan heng honkai star rail #dan heng hsr #honkai dan heng #·˚ * 🔭 carlyle writes

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ratspaguetti · 1 month

Text

Agent 3/Captain 3 Mental State

Do y'all ever just think about how Agent 3 might actually have a different kind of problem mentally- like, I see a lot of people always talking about the brainwashing and the fighting Octavio and the Octarians as their "flaw/trauma to over come" and dont get me wrong I love these flaws in their character! But I've just been thinking-

What about a hero complex? I mean, it might be typical, but Agent 3 has been working for the New Squidbeak Splatoon ever since they where about 14, they've been put in death situations over and over again- so what if they tie in their worth to their abilities? To what they can bring to the table-

Yet every couple of years, a new agent, a new person who did what they did all those years ago, but...better at times, Agent 4 (that one oc) saved the great zap fish, beat Octavio, and they did it while fighting Callie, and now Captain 3 has been- basically replaced by Neo 3, who fought Octavio, and a bear in literally space! Captain 3s achievements slowly pale more in comparison, and Agent 8 went through everything they went through in heels

The rest of the squidbeak splatoon is similar, Callie and Marie are literally idols and the original agents of the New Squid beak splatoon, Marina is just Marina, smart with technology and good at musician and paved the way for octolings to enter inkling society, Pearl is practically a princess with the voice of a torpedo, deep cut isn't technically part of the squid beak splatoon, but they are also idols-

All to say...Captain 3 might feel the need to prove themselves, they did take up the spot of their beloved Gramps, and even if he is a bit of a nut job, he was a literal War Hero and legend, Captain 3 is in the shadow of so many great people- insecurity complex might be their new dearest friend!

Anyways, this was just a bit of a character study using nothing but my tired imagination- give me your thoughts and feed back please and thank yous!

#agent 4...who?#splatoon 3 #splatoon #headcanon #rat rambles #inkling #octoling #splatoon headcanons #splatoon lore #agent 3 has mental issues baby #this is mostly just me thinking these things kinda neat!#agent 8 #agent 4 #agent 3 #Captain 3 #captain cuttlefish #pearl #male agent 3

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sunsents · 1 year

Note

(I read the tono fic and im literally on my knees for this man rn he’s looks yummy☹️) we need a pt 2 on that beetie, but what if it was him being so rough and aggressive we dont get to see that, him manhandling and corrupting/degrading them whew Lord 🤭

I had the time of my life while writing this because I'm a slut and I want this man to do these exact things to me with no regards to my basic needs. <3 I couldn't really incorporate the corruption I think? I didn't really know how to build up to it 😟 so I'mma practice with my jakey poo, look out for an upcoming drabble

Tonowari - Punishment (M)

read part 1 here

➵ summary: Little plot and pure smut. After your escapade with Tonowari, his neglect tugs at your heartstring. Of course, the Olo'Eyktan is here to soothe your ache and remind you who you belong to.

➵ pairing: tonowari x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

➵ word count: 5.6k (I might have gotten a little carried away with this)

➵ warnings: severe degradation kink/probably age gap/rough ass sex/corruption/dirty talk/cursing/aggression/jealous tonowari/spanking/nudity/sexual intercourse/edging/descriptions of body parts /finger fucking/humping/kissing...and much more I can't remember atm. this work is purely nsfw and not suitable for minors, if you're under the age of 18, DNI

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

➵ vocabulary

syulang - flower

tiyawn - love

yomyo lerik - leaf plate

yawne - beloved

You spend the next few days in bed due to a sore back.

Most would think you pulled something while fishing in the early hours of the morning. Most are wrong, however, as they didn't know about your secret rendezvous with the Olo'eyktan.

But you couldn't forget.

How he fucked into your cunt with his thick cock, buried to the hilt and throbbing inside your sensitive walls. How he sat you down on his warm, plush thighs, coaxed your body to press against his chest with sweet whispers and completely engulfed you in his dizzying presence. He'd ask you to hold on tight as he stretched you open - because he knew you could take it. You would take anything he gave you with needy whines and a firm grip that would engrave his touch into your body.

"You’ve never been touched, have you?" he had asked you, smoothing a hand down your hair, sweetly kissing your temple, slowly pulling you down into a pleasure-ridden world that consisted of nothing but sweaty bodies and heated pants.

As he kissed you tenderly, his hips humped into you like a nantang in heat. "Take it," he would tell you, muffling your mouth with his palm while letting out grunts of pleasure.

And when he stretched you out specifically to his liking, specifically to be used only by his cock, he was barely satisfied. "You fit me perfectly now, syulang." was his last whisper before you broke completely, babbling and drooling on his cock with your sopping heat. The rest is a blur, being fucked senseless while he bounced you on his thighs.

It's only when you hear a thump that you snap out of your gaze. "Oh!" you gasp, fishing around the water to find your blade. Your cheeks are flushed because you can feel them, and it's embarrassing enough for you to run a hand over them after dipping your fingers into cold water. You curse under your breath - of course, you can’t reach the blade, because, of course, Eywa is never on your side when it comes to your stubborn crush on Tonowari.

The fish you were cleaning is long forgotten, dropped in your wooden plate to be picked up after you get your bearings straight. The communal fire is bursting with warmth as children dance around and families group to share their food. Though, you’re still quite distant from the shared space. You had opted to get a piece of mind away from all the activity - surely not because you were avoiding the clan Olo’Eyktan.

It's been exactly a week since you saw Tonowari, and the memories never cease to replay. You clear your throat even though nothing is lodged in it. Nonetheless, you smooth a hand down your hair just like he had done, quickly rinse your fingers in the water again, pull out an old yet sharp blade then continue your filet.

You hadn’t seen the man all week, and all of a sudden he was commanding your attention by sending you fleeting looks, passing by your frame a little too closely, and gazing into your soul while you tried to enjoy your food in peace. The nerve.

Again, Eywa is barely on your side.

"Need some help?"

The deep treble of his voice causes you to flinch. Tonowari stands tall in his gorgeous glory with his hands on his hips, adorning hunting garments and his hair tied back in a bun. You see the eclipse constellation on his skin, stretching beautifully over his lithe muscles. A band decorates his firm pecs and enhances his incredibly slim waist that you crave to run your fingers over. His legs stand strong, supporting his mouth-watering frame. You physically feel his authority, trickling down his body and slapping your face.

You hold back a laugh at the thought - his presence was intense. The thought helps to put your mind at ease, but the quick thumping of your heart commands your attention.

"If it's no trouble," you croak, desperately trying to ignore the lump in your throat. You fail, however, as your voice comes out in a deep rasp. You clear your throat and pat the space next to you. "Please, sit Olo'eyktan."

Tonowari smiles at you warmly before sitting down. You hand him a fish, which he gracefully accepts, then starts the rhythmic movement of his blade. He’s extremely quick in his work - mesmerized, you gawk at his skilled fingers.

With each passing flick, you wait for the man to address the tension between you - because someone has to, and you decide it won’t be you. No, not after he didn’t talk to you for a week, then suddenly plagued your peaceful dinner with his sensual touch and sultry gaze. Taking a deep breath to calm your traitorous heart, you patiently wait for his inquiry.

One, the scales fly into the water as larger fish nip at them; was he not going to mention that he fucked you raw last week? Two, Tonowari grunts, blade slightly slipping from his wet hands; Eywa, the tension is burning at your skin. Three, you were choking, you could feel it. Your heart was betraying you as it thumped for the Olo'Eyktan.

Four, "So, are we not going to talk about it?" you snap.

Tonowari stills then jerks his beautiful large head (which was fitting to his beautiful large body) to you. "What is there to address?" he mutters, hand resting on his thigh.

"W-well," you clear your throat, suddenly losing all conduct. You're quick to sharpen your tone, "Last week, at your kelku..."

"Oh?”

You hear him swallow before you nod, and his stare darkens with an indecipherable disposition. "And why shall we address it?" he asks, tone rough to match yours.

You have no choice but to abandon your blade and the fish - Eywa bless its poor heart with the way you were fileting it with lust, anger, shame, and excitement all at once. Your ears fold against your head instinctively before you have the chance to control them. It was embarrassing being so clear with your feelings when Tonowari kept a straight face.

"Because," you start, avoiding his gaze. "Right, because..."

Was he expecting you to tell him, in front of everyone in the clan? Of course, your backs were facing the distant chatter of the people as you sat on a far edge. You were blocked out from their view by a giant tapestry that dated back to the first moons, still, if someone was to peek their head out, they'd see you sitting together.

You shift closer to him, ignoring the thrumming of your heart, then whisper. "Because we did that."

Even though you didn't say the word, you can't help but flush. It was just so vulgar, and it was the first time you had ever experienced anything so intimate and erotic. You were naive but weirdly enough, knew better. Your act of intimacy with Tonowari was reserved for mates, and you were certain Tonowari never asked to mate with you.

He chuckles at your humility and your stomach churns. He makes you feel so belittled with his reaction - had your time together been mere seconds in his lust-filled life? The thought brings a pout to your lips before you straighten and manage a neutral expression. Though, Tonowari notices, and he's quick to tease.

"Ah, I see." his coy smile is critical as he speaks in a low, baritone voice. "Did fucking not satisfy you, girl? Is that it?"

He shuffles close until his plush thigh bumps into yours and the heat of him hugs around your entire being. He’s barely touching you and your body reacts on instinct, craving for him to take you as his munxta. His muscular arms are not helping your desires whatsoever, looking obscenely huge in contrast to yours.

"You want me to fuck you nice and slow again? Or do you want me to be rough with you? Can you handle that, syulang?" he leans in, hand inching closer to your thigh. You gasp, unable to control your twitch.

It's too much - his burly frame, his thighs, his sweet whispers. You dart up to your feet, leaving behind a satisfied Tonowari. He looks almost proud at making you feel this embarrassed. Again, the nerve.

"Olo'eyktan Tonowari, you are needed."

A warrior and good friend of Tonowari's, Zeir, stands tall with a yomyo lerik in his hand. He's chewing on fish as he waits expectantly for his Olo'eyktan.

Your heart hammers loud in your chest. You almost got caught.

If your embarrassment hadn't gotten the better of you, you'd be spread out before Tonowari with his head between your legs, and you’d do nothing to stop your Olo’Eyktan when Zeir, inevitably, encounters the view due to your cravings.

Humiliation is all you feel as heat spreads through your body. You're red, and Zeir throws you a pointed look. "How sweet," he grins.

Tonowari's head snaps so fast to his friend that you feel obligated to follow his line of sight. Zeir is smiling at you, drinking in your frame because you can feel his eyes on your skin, poking and prodding.

His gaze isn't unwanted per se, just a surprising development seeing as he never gave you this attention before. You're not complaining, rather, keening at the overwhelming attention you’re getting. It seems after years of curiosity, Eywa was on your side. The noise of complaint Tonowari lets out, however, tells you that Eywa is not on his side. It was delightful to see the roles reversed.

"Zeir, brother, what is so important that you interrupt us," he warns.

Zeir takes a moment to think about what you assume is a well-strung answer that won't anger the Olo'eyktan. "The people are asking for you, is all."

Tonowari nods but lingers for a moment longer than necessary. His eyes survey you as he stands up, then strides across the bouncy weaving strung across the open sea. "You," he looks at you, "we are not finished. Stay there."

You gulp, then nod obediently. The sudden change in his demeanor scares you. You didn't know the man enough to comment on his personality, but it was common knowledge that he rarely got angry. He was usually calm and collected, and when something, or someone, was testing his patience, he was calculative in his approach. Many instances where he had taken hunting parties and returned with nothing but fish skin due to the idiocy and naïveté of the young warriors proved this to you. It was almost comical how he listened to Rakxe and Vetsu bicker about who the mightiest fisherman in the clan is while seemingly catching no fish; hands tight, lip a straight line, yet voice surprisingly soft, as if he was explaining the concept of fishing and hunger to a small child.

Tonowari leaves you alone with Zeir, a fact he forgot to consider in his haste to please the clan. You give Zeir a pointed look that screams, what in Eywa's name are you doing?

"Oh, don't look at me like that." he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

Your lips twitch. "Like what?"

"Like I've done something bad." he tells you, "You and I know both that your little crush will be in vain if you don't do anything."

Your jaw drops at his straightforwardness. "Well," you start, frustrated. "I was in the middle of doing something!"

"Yeah?" he laughs though it's very obviously forced. "It seemed like he was in the middle of rejecting you, or was that just me?"

His words make a pang go through your chest. While his assumption is false (Tonowari was about ready to fuck you nice and deep), it holds some truth. He seeks you out to whisper filthy words and toss you aside when he's satiated, at least that's what you convince yourself. He had merely used your cunt and then disappeared for the entirety of the week. Was he avoiding you, or was he just busy?

You didn't want that question answered. You were too far gone, and the answer would shatter your heart.

In your silence, Zeir clears his throat. "Look, Tonowari is very open with his feelings - sometimes they just need a little push...which I'm generously granting you."

You look at him incredulously, "Oh? And how is angering the man helping me?”

Zeir looks at you like you know the answer. "Jealousy!" he snaps.

"No!" you're quick to yell.

"Yes!" he whines. "I merely looked at you and he was seething like a hungry palulukan!"

It would be a lie if you said his words didn't make you giddy. Tonowari? Jealous over you? It would only feed into your hope of claiming the strong warrior. You feel tremors rush through your spine at the thought. Now that his words settle in, you're seriously considering his offer. "Okay," you finally decide.

Zeir smirks, then slowly peeks his head through the flap. The bustle is rambunctious, noises filling the open space when the covering is pushed aside. "Uh oh," he quickly rushes to your side, way too close for your liking. "He's coming back. I'm going to put my hand on your waist, and you," he grabs your hands and presses them to your chest. "Act like I made a joke."

The laugh you let out falls on deaf ears as Tonowari returns. You see his face drop into a scowl, then into a look much more dangerous than what you had anticipated. You quickly break away from Zeir and dust yourself off. "You're back."

"What are you doing with her," he seethes through gritted teeth.

Zeir crosses his arms, "Nothing, just showing her how a real man should be."

At his comment, Tonowari's eyes turn. He lunges forward and grabs Zeir's neck - you've never seen him this angry before. It's exhilarating.

"She's mine," he spits, eyes glazed over. His irises have dilated into something much more feral. You see a flash of panic sail through Zeir's eyes before he nods.

"Mine! Don't ever touch her again, I'm warning you brother," he speaks in a low rasp, tail trashing. It's uncontrollable and swats at your hip before thumping on the ground. "If I ever see you even breathe in her direction..."

"What are you going to do about it?" Zeir chuckles nervously. You do feel bad for him, even if it's only for a moment. He suggested this. He suggested that Tonowari harbors feelings toward you. He suggested that Tonowari would get jealous.

And he was right.

"Tonowari," you croak out. He dismisses you with a glance, "Don't hurt him."

This seems to set him off. He lets go of the man before rushing towards you. He yanks your hand, then starts pulling you towards his kelku with hurried steps. You look back at Zeir and he grins at you, mouthing told you so. Though before you can reply, The sullen Olo’Eyktan yanks your arm forward which causes you to crash against his warm back. "Stupid girl!" he growls.

Anger drips from his movements; his quick strides, his snapping tail, the way he opens the flap to his kelku and drags you inside with rough force. You're practically flung inside the marui like a doll. And as he paces back and forth, you're regretting your decisions. He was too angry, too uncharacteristic for his serene persona. His ragged breaths alert the flames inside you to burn, scorching your insides and causing you to crave his thick body, warm. He suddenly stops, then snaps his glaring eyes to your face. Thighs rubbing together, you try not to flinch away from his gaze.

"On your knees." he all but demands. You tilt your head in confusion, was he actually going to punish you? "Are you deaf, girl? On your knees!"

You quickly lower yourself, quivering in excitement. He stops before you’re facing his swollen tewng. The carnal beast inside you rages with desire, screaming at you to grab his kuru and mate him. Mate him, mate him, mate him.

You’re quick to dismiss her, it’s too soon. Will he even accept you as his?

He grips your chin, too tight for your liking, and tells you all you need to know. His fingers squeeze your face before roughly tilting your head upwards. "You dirty cock-slut," he spits, and your eyes widen. "Are you going to let every man into your cunt?"

"W-what?" you croak, tears burning your eyes.

He grips your hair roughly and then pulls. You yelp, having no choice but to hold onto his thigh to not topple back. Tears stream down your face at the humiliation. "You heard what I said. Don't make me repeat myself."

Eywa, what had you gotten yourself into? Your chest hurt from the mortification, but you couldn't deny the desire burning between your legs at his words. He looked at you with such intensity, eyes blown out. You merely croak out a, "No."

A feral growl leaves his lips before he pulls the string for his tewng. His cock springs out, and he looks at you expectantly. "Open,"

When you hesitate, he mushes your cheeks and forces your mouth to open. “Why?” you croak out, though it’s muffled and barely audible. “Tonowari, I’m scared. It feels hot, please…”

Teary-eyed, you don’t know what you’re begging for. It’s all the more thrilling.

“Shhh, you have nothing to be afraid of,” he coos, suddenly gentle as he caresses your cheek. His undulant tones give you whiplash. “You’re going to suck on it, sweet girl. Make your Olo’Eyktan feel good,”

You nod, and with no warning, he plunges his cock into the confines of your mouth.

Tonowari does not allow you to breathe, he doesn't even allow you to adjust to the feeling of your mouth stuffed full of his cock. It’s your first time, and in an array of emotions, you try your best to keep your jaw slack, and teeth at bay. It hurts to have his tip poke your throat, graze it so harshly with no regard for your respiration. A plethora of gargled noises come from your mouth - you’re trying to complain and failing miserably. It didn't matter, since Tonowari wasn't in his right mind. It was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.

"Ohh, that's good," he grunts, shifting his hips slightly. You fight back more tears but fail, it's the pain that causes them now, instead of his belittling words. In comical timing, Tonowari grips your hair by the roots and pulls your head back, then slams his hips back in. You clutch his thighs, screaming around his cock.

"Shut up," he grits. "Shut up and take it, filthy girl."

You nod, crying. Your eyelashes stick together as you look up at him, and Tonowari bares his teeth. "Mmph, fuck...Keep your eyes on me, you’re doing so good, syulang - so good,"

He slightly bends his head, then spits at the base of his cock where your mouth doesn't reach. Your eyes widen, just how wet did he need to be for this...activity. You wouldn't know, and Tonowari is aware of this.

"Have you ever had a cock stuffed in your mouth, syulang?" he chuckles, yet his words contain zero humor - low and raspy as they burn his tongue. "Look at you, drooling on it like this. Ahh, fuck - open wider and do it properly before I stuff it down your throat,"

You nod again, but whatever you do or however you do it seems to fail at satiating his anger. He grunts, starting to snap his hips into your mouth and you can’t help but choke, gargle, and make obscene noises which fall fruitless. His head is thrown back in bliss.

Your jaw is slack, and your throat burns, - you cannot help but crave more. His thick cock slams into your mouth with crude noises and causes your spit to roll down your chin. Unable to wipe it, you grip onto his thick thighs that flex every other second - rhythmic to his snapping hips. Your nails dig into his skin but the man, pure muscle and sex, doesn't flinch. He doesn't even feel it, too busy fucking into your mouth with noises that border on animalistic. He moans though it's rough and coarse, a complete contrast to the whines he let out last week as he fucked you slow and good.

This was not slow and good. This was possessive, raw, and dominating.

"This mouth is mine. Look at you, you're pathetic. You can barely fucking breathe, girl. What? You want to stop?"

You nod desperately, hoping for some sort of release.

"Oh, Eywa...You're not allowed to stop…you're out here, whoring for every man in the clan - fuck," his hips jerk, ", and have the nerve to ask for release from me. This is your punishment girl, you better remember your place from now on."

You shake your head, your body trembling with desire. He suddenly stops his thrusts, heaving out a breath that rumbles deep from his chest. "I..." His cock twitches in his mouth, and you watch him grit his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut. He's edging himself, you realize. He's denying himself release because it would mean your ‘punishment’ is over. "It's time I claim this pussy of yours before those brainless bastards lay a hand on you, hm?"

You let out a shaky cough as he pulls his cock out. The way you heave is enough evidence that this is all new to you, and in his wicked mind, Tonowari is more than pleased as he watches you catch your breath.

"Up, yawne," he demands. His endearment means nothing, not when he's so harsh with his tone. "Be a good girl and get up."

You try, you really do. But you can't. Your legs betray you as you try to stand and topple over. Tonowari is quick to catch you. "Pathetic little girl," he growls. His large hands wind around your thighs before he effortlessly lifts you. He doesn't even pull you to his chest, he just carries you like you're some sort of toy that he was going to bend into submission. He disregards you on his nest and your back hits the soft weaving with a yelp. Before you can move, his hands grip the back of your thighs, pushing them to your chest. Somehow, he rips your tewng with a grunt and sniffs the scent that circles the marui. "You got this wet from sucking my cock?" he snarls. Your folds, already puffy, must look so plush due to your current position. You can feel his breath on your entrance as he sniffs you like he's borderline manic.

"N-no," you manage to utter. "That was hardly a punishment..."

"Do I have to stuff my cock in there again? Don't get mouthy with me, girl." he snaps, his anger visibly seething.

Now you've done it. You don't even know what kind of power made you answer back to him, but there was no going back now. He was only fueled more. "What? Want me to rip this pussy of yours so you have no choice but to take me? You know nothing, look at you."

Your chest tightens at his words.

"My dick was the first one stuffed in this cunt, and it will be the last." and with that, he plunges his cock in you. You scream his name in pain, and generously, he allows you to get used to the stretch for a few, short moments. "Ohhh fuck, yawne - so tight."

His generosity does not last long, however. Soon, he's drilling into your aching cunt with untetheredly rough thrusts. His grunts accompany the quick strokes he graces you with, and it's grounding. As his big hands stay firmly planted on the back of your thighs, he uses you as leverage to fuck into the tight hole he's fixated on - it's grounding. So much so that your arms desperately flail around to hold onto something to balance yourself and keep your consciousness intact, but to no avail. Tonowari's wet heat, his noises of pleasure, his abdomen that grind into the puffy pebble that pulses with the desire between your legs, they work together to drag you down into the depth of Pandora and trap you in a prison of pure pleasure. When he gives a particularly hard thrust, he heaves a rewarding whine of pleasure, and you can merely scream and take it.

Your gummy walls are being pounded and any hope of movement is distant. Tonowari won't even let your hands grasp onto something. He lowers himself, trapping your body with his sweat-ridden chest, and reminds you, once again, that without his permission, his cock, and his sweet words, you’re anguished and empty. He manhandles you into submission and pulls the feral creature that burns in your chest, screaming at you to mate him.

"Look at you, fuck...whimpering like a lost angstik pup." he coos, never once stopping his ruthless pace. "You see how I fuck into your sweet pussy, yawne?”

He brings your palm to rest on your belly, and urges you to press - you cry out in pleasure and pain all at once. You could feel the bulge of his cock protruding from your abdomen and causing dizzying bliss. "So sweet, my pretty little syulang," he grunts. "My filthy little cock-slut. Mine to use. All mine."

"T-Tonowari!" you whine at the disorienting senses. Lost in all the pleasure he's inflicting with thrusts. His drilling has stopped, opting to grind his pelvis into your aching cunt with the same pace. His pace, Eywa. It hasn't faltered once and with the delicious friction he's providing you, all the while ruthlessly stretching you out, the strings that keep you on reality are about to snap. Something is fast approaching, yet it feels nothing like the release he granted you last week. It’s more, slowly building up around your chest with tingles. "I feel weird! It's-"

Tonowari pulls out of your shuddering cunt and the emptiness he causes builds tears in your eyes. It's nothing but cruel - coaxing you to give in to pleasure completely, then taking it away all at once. "It hurts syulang, doesn't it? That's right...I'm the only one that could make it go away."

You whimper, babbling incoherently when he thumbs your pussy. "Shhh," he coos, wiping your tears sweetly. "It's okay yawne, don’t cry. I’ll take care of you,"

But it's not okay. You frantically shake your head, begging for more when he plunges two fingers into your pussy and curls the digits. Your head jerks back, and Tonowari plants a firm slap on the curve of your ass. The long, drawn-out moan that leaves you is lewd, and Tonowari is quick to bend down and drink it all up with a wet kiss. He pulls away entirely - fingers, hands, everything, then grasps your waist and turns you around. Since your escapade last week, you have had no control over your body. He left you a whiny, aching mess, and addicted you to all the pleasure he could give. Especially now, in your cock-drunk mindset, you merely whimper and whine as his hands knead at your skin.

He pulls you by the waist, fingers digging into your pelvis and causing an embarrassing gush of your juices to flow down between your legs. You relish in his low chuckle with a shudder, until a wet heat graces your ass. When his teeth dig in, you can all but gasp at the delicious pain. “Oh!”

The bastard bit your ass.

"There we go, yawne." he dares to tell you.

You can feel his muscular arm gather your hands and lock them tightly in his grip. He pulls them back, causing your back to arch for his pleasure, then wedges his thick thigh between your legs to rub against your wet, aching, cunt - you're about to pass out from the need to have him inside you. You can only beg to be filled as he bends and handles you to his liking. He plants his thick cock between the expense of your ass, then humps into you once, twice, before plunging into your pussy once again.

It's all feeling at this point - you try to look back and see his face, but Tonowari doesn't allow you. He rocks into you while sitting back on his legs, and plants a firm hand on the back of your head to push you into the weaving. Your ears flicker at the sound of his thick thighs slapping against your ass, his deep moans and growls that fill the marui once again, overlapping with your screams for mercy.

He grants you none. Pulling you back further, his hand let go of your head and slither down your chest to push you up to his chest. You don't understand where you're seated until Tonowari's thighs guide yours to open wide, pushing his cock deeper. You feel him everywhere, in your stomach, your ribs, and your throat as you cry out his name in pleasure. He grips your waist and humps into you like he would burn if he didn’t, grunting and cursing into your ear. One of his hands closes around your throat, and you can merely throw your head back against his pectoral and grant him further access. "You look beautiful, my syulang," he tells you. "So pathetic and needy like this, letting the Olo'Eyktan bounce you on his thighs like a little whore."

"Yes! T-Tonowari, there - ahh, right there!"

And when he hits the spongy spot that would be your rise and downfall all at once, it hits you. It hits you as he drills into your g-spot from below with rugged thrusts, hits you like a heart stuttering scare that's been creeping behind for weeks, only to catch you when you least expect it. "That's right. Only I can, fuck - make you cum like this. Ohh Eywa, yes! Just like that." he encourages, and you can only let out a plethora of yes yes yes’, shuddering and clamping down on his cock like a steel vice. Your walls spasm around his cock, and you feel him shoot hot ropes of cum into you with a loud groan. You pump him dry, orgasm lasting until your juices flow down his thick cock and the expense of your legs, coating you both in the fruits of his 'punishment'.

Limp in his arms, you can merely pant with glazed eyes. You can't think, Eywa, you're not able to. You feel numb, a buzzing feeling throughout your body. You pant in unison with the man behind you, whose cock twitches in your fucked out pussy. You stay like this for a while, tangled in his arms as he presses sweet kisses in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet nothings to soothe his previous harsh words. "You did so well, my tiyawn." he caresses your hair with his gentle touch.

"Tonowari..." you call out to him. After the post-orgasmic bliss dies down, a rush of emotions envelops your chest and tightens your heart - they encourage you to finally set this relationship between the two of you. As much as you like this... arrangement, Tonowari was your first, and you hope he will be your last.

Traditionally, while Na'vi can court a variety of prospects, that's all they would be, prospects. Sooner or later, you’re required to find a mate and carry out the mating ritual that you've done not once, but twice with Tonowari. It was forbidden, and inevitably exciting, but you desire something more. You won’t allow him to use your body as he pleases, then toss you aside.

Tonowari hums into your hair, taking a deep breath. "We are to be mated, right?" you hesitantly ask.

Tonowari wavers for a second, and you feel your heart drop. As the seconds stretch, you feel it getting pulled down lower, and lower, and lower, until...

"Of course, yawne?" he asks, confusion evident in his voice. "I have fucked you twice, came in you thrice. I thought I was obvious with my intentions."

"Oh..."

It would be an understatement to say your heart soars. No matter if you had absolutely no idea he was courting you, or that he gave no indication of being interested in you in the past. As you fall deep in thought, you realize you've never really paid attention to anyone - anyone except Tonowari that is. Even then, you were far too embarrassed to approach the Olo'Eyktan of the clan, let alone look at him. He was mighty, strong, and sought after by many.

"That's right, oh." he chuckles, bringing you back down to reality again. It's almost comical how he was making you lose all your sensibility just moments ago with his skilled hips, and now grounding you with his tender tone. "As much as I love being inside you like this, we should clean up."

Slowly but surely, he grips your waist and lifts you from his cock. You watch as the delicious mixture of your releases drips down from your entrance, then whine at the emptiness. "I know," he coos, turning you to face him, then placing you on his lap again. With a sweet kiss on your lips, his strong frame envelops you once again.

You're inches away from giving in when it hits you - he was the one who ignored you this past week. "Wait," you plant your palm on his chest and push. He frowns, lips chasing yours with a whine. "You ignored me all week."

He pauses, and you can faintly hear him suck in a breath. "I didn't ignore you, I was on a hunting party."

"How?" you ask. "Hunting parties never last a week."

"Well syulang, when Zeir loses the map to the village, it does."

"Oh..."

You start laughing at all the unnecessary insecurities that plagued your mind for seven whole days, and your mate lets out an awkward chuckle.

#tonowari smut #tonowari x reader #tonowari #avatar twow #avatar angst #avatar the way of water #avatar #fem reader #avatar fanfiction #avatar fluff #tonowari fluff #tonowari fic #oneshot #female reader #smut oneshot #smut drabble

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csuitebitches · 11 months

Text

A Brief Guide to Yachts

This is a continuation to my cultural education segment (aka my rich bitch guide).

The yacht is an invention of the 14th century Dutch. The Dutch used small, fast boats for chasing smugglers, pirates and criminals. Rich ship owners and merchants began using these small “jaghts” to sail out to celebrate their returning merchant ships.

The first yacht club in the world, called the Cork Water Club, was established in Ireland in 1720.

Some famous clubs include:

USA:

1. Annapolis Yacht Club: Surrounding the Spa Creek Bridge in Annapolis, the Club boasts over 75 wet slips and dry dockage. The club began in 1886 as an informal canoe club, and today has 1600 regular members active in social, racing, and cruising programs

2. Chicago Yacht Club: Founded in 1875, Chicago Yacht Club is one of the oldest and most respected yacht clubs in the world. The Club is home to more than 1,400 members, including a winning America’s Cup skipper, and Olympic medalists.

Italy:

1. Circolo Canottieri Aniene

2. Circolo degli Esteri

3. Compagnia della Vela

Canada:

1. Royal Canadian Yacht Club

2. Royal Vancouver Yacht Club

Yachts are most active in the summer months (May- August in the northern hemisphere) or the winter months. many yacht owners decide to keep the maximum number of guests onboard to 12 (plus crew) for chartering.

Different types of yachts:

Sailing Yacht: a yacht mainly propelled via wind and sails

Motor Yacht: a yacht propelled via one or more motors

Gulet Yacht: a hybrid yacht with both sails and motors

Open Yacht, Cruiser, Cabin Cruiser, Express Cruiser: an otherwise uncategorized standard yacht for cruising and entertaining

Luxury Yacht: a yacht that includes high-end finishes and features and the latest in modern performance technology. The term ‘luxury’ can precede any type of yacht, i.e. “luxury motor yacht”, “luxury sailing yacht”, etc.

Sports Yacht: a yacht geared towards fishing, water sports, or cruising with a sleeker design and more powerful motor for faster cruising speeds.

Catamaran Yacht: a yacht with two hulls (pontoons) often made of fiberglass that can be used in shallow waters.

The most popular destinations:

1. Monaco

2. The French Riviera

3. Greece

4. U.S. Virgin Islands

5. Palm Beach, Florida

6. Costa Smeralda, Italy

7. St. George’s Parish, Bermuda

8. Newport, Rhode Island

9. Nantucket, Massachusetts

10. Greater Victoria, Vancouver Island

Insane super yachts

Football club owner Shahid Khan's 95 metre Lürssen Kismet was delivered in 2014. On match days, a four-metre silver statue of a jaguar, its paw resting on a football helmet, graces the bow. Elsewhere, its sizeable foredeck has enough space for Khan's beloved football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, to stage a practice.

The 70 metre Feadship superyacht Joy features a deck that's wide enough to enjoy a tandem jog around. This yacht is all about exterior living, which includes making use of these ample decks with some great sporting facilities. A basketball and badminton court is set all the way forward on the owner's deck. This is complemented by her large gym and dedicated spa. All of this adds up to make Joy an ideal choice for those interested in a yacht with ample fitness, wellness and sporting amenities.

#c suite #powerful woman #strong women #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #q/a #getting your life together #balance #water #yacht

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elliewlums · 1 year

Note

Not a very specific request but I’d love to see some touchstarved!Billy x clingy!Reader please and thank you 😊

touchstarved!billy my fucking beloved</3 also this is shit i apologise

content warnings: touch starved!billy🥺 touch aversion due to being touch starved, v soft, billy gets all the luv and cuddles<3

billy’s been neglected his whole life; it’s a fact you’ve very begrudgingly come to terms with. a fact that, even after months of dating your sweet boy, fills you with white-hot, indescribable rage. how is it fair? that the people that were supposed to protect him damaged him beyond comprehension.

billy struggles with physical touch. you can see in his expression how badly he desires to be held, to cuddle in bed and on the sofa and hold hands at the supermarket, just little mundane things. but he’s incredibly shy and he’d never make the first move, so that leaves it down to you.

of course, you’re eager to oblige.

at first it’s slow, a brush of your knuckles against his cheek when you leave the bed to make him breakfast, a kiss on the shoulder when he’s faced away from you. and when you’re sure he’s comfortable, it increases. a kiss under his jaw just because you feel like it, climbing into his arms in the middle of the night and tangling your limbs with his own.

he’s startled when you hug him in the shop one day. he goes taut and draws himself tight; you pull away to look at his face.

“this okay, baby?”

he nods, lip quivering, and you coo, reaching up to hold his chin between your thumb and finger.

“what’s the face for, then?”

he shakes his head and sniffs, but nuzzles into your hand when you splay your fingers to rub his stubbled cheek.

“jus’, no one’s ever hugged me like that before.”

“like what, hon?”

“like they love me, y’know?”

your heart breaks. “i do love you.”

the ghost of a smile plays across his lips, so quick that you might’ve thought you’d imagined it if you didn’t know better.

“you do?”

“of course i do.”

that conversation seems to have opened the floodgates for billy. he holds your hand the entire way home, white knuckled and clinging, and is reluctant to let go when you fish your house keys out of your pocket.

when you ask him if he wants to watch a film, he’s ready on the sofa for you to crawl on top of him; you press a firm kiss to his cheek and drape your arms around his neck. he goes soft and boneless, face pressed to the juncture of your neck as your hands rub along his back in big, sweeping circles.

and when he starts to loll and his eyes flutter shut, you pull him up and slide him into bed, wrapping him in blankets. he whines until you press your body against his and kiss all over his pretty face. despite the big bed, there’s not an ounce of space between the pair of you: his legs entwined with yours, his head on your chest, arms squeezing at your middle. you brush soft curls out of his face when his breaths deepen and slow. it’s the most relaxed you’ve ever seen him.

“love you,” he mumbles, half asleep.

“love you more, baby.”

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happybird16 · 11 months

Text

•Chapter Nine•

Naga!Levi Ackerman/Fem!Reader

Summary: Growing up, the forest's edge always darkened the far corner of your small village. The giant, twisted branches overhead rendered the forest floor a terrifying, pitch black. You shouldn't be here. There's creatures here, dangerous ones.

Overall warnings: Past references to child abuse, blood, scars, gore, mystery, eventual sex, inhuman genitalia (Levi is a snake man), horror vibes.

Chapter warnings: NSFW!!!, Sex, inhuman genitalia, oral sex (fem!receiving), tongue-fucking, creampie, monsterfucking, tail-fucking, loss of virginity.

Chapter length: 14.2k

Ao3 Link

The most special of shoutouts to my beloved friend and beta @theferricfox!!!! Also, credit to @the-milk-anon for the snake banner!!

Note: *Evil laughter*

Previous chapter | Next chapter

It becomes increasingly challenging to focus on anything other than the man with whom you've formed such a strong affectionate bond. The world around you fades into the background as your attention remains fixated on him and nothing else. In his company, time seems to slip away, and the moments shared together become the center of your universe. With Levi's lips working urgently into yours, little else matters.

It feels like you're a teenager again, caught up in a whirlwind of hormones and an overwhelming, frantic, needy heat. The intensity of your desire is all-consuming, as if your senses are increasingly heightened by every touch and every glance. You love the way he holds you. It's cautious and gentle, yet lingering with an unbridled strength. Even with the length of him wrapped completely around you, the shuddering clasp doesn't feel the least bit smothering. Before, he was touchy for the sake of warmth and maybe more than a small amount of fondness, but now it's as if pulling away from you would pain him. You understand the feeling.

Levi's lips press hard into yours, displaying an endless and heated fervor. The sharp points of his fangs cautiously graze your bottom lip, eliciting a loud gasp from you. Your fingers scramble on his shoulders, swiftly moving to cup the back of his head and intensify the kiss. In response, he moans and sucks hard on your bottom lip, causing his fangs to dig painfully into your swollen skin. The sharp tang of iron floods your senses, but his tongue swiftly emerges to soothe the wound, healing it in the blink of an eye.

He rests heavily on top of you, exerting an all-consuming weight that presses your back into the soft bedding beneath. The sheer warmth and weight of his body render you borderline delirious. Each desperate groan he releases resonates loudly through your head, filling you with an escalating and desperate heat. Pulling away, your lips smack wetly, and a long string of saliva stretches taut between you. "You're getting good at this," you pant, your chest heaving.

Licking his lips, his intense gaze ignites a fire within you, fueling the heat that builds between your thighs. Smirking down at you, his nostrils flare with curiosity. His tail, wrapped around your lower half, spasms and tightens around your hips. "Are you fishing for a compliment?" he teases.

"Maybe," you playfully pout. "I'd like to think I've been a good teacher."

"I'm a quick learner," Levi responds with a huff. Without delay, he closes the distance between you, pressing his lips forcefully against yours, his tongue softly caressing the sensitive underside of your own. Letting out a soft moan, you close your eyes, succumbing to the sensation.

As you dig your nails into the scruff of his undercut, Levi emits a throaty groan, relishing in the gentle pain. Seizing the opportunity, you explore his mouth with delicate laps of your own. Despite his razor-sharp teeth, the rest of his mouth feels velvety and warm. Yielding to your attentions, his jaw eagerly moves in sync with yours. A soft moan fills the space between you, accompanied by his urgent fingers digging into your shoulders.

By now, you have become intimately acquainted with what makes Levi tick. You know every tender spot that causes him to tremble, and how to skillfully swirl your tongue to elicit delightful groans. He enjoys it when you take control of the kiss, sucking firmly on his bottom lip and pressing into his mouth. The underside of his tongue proves to be particularly sensitive, and urgently lapping at it earns you a quivering gasp.

"F-fuck," he curses, groaning your name in a long, breathy rasp. His hips rhythmically move between your thighs, circling against your own in a way that elicits a moan from you.

"Shit," you curse in agreement. That's new. Your thighs tremble as you roll your hips back into his. The sensation leaves you soaked with desire. Levi shudders above you, pressing his forehead against the hollow of your neck. His hips jolt uncontrollably against yours, rubbing against your center in a way that makes you pulse with anticipation. "Levi!" you gasp, unable to contain your pleasure.

Teeth scrape against your neck, causing a sharp and shallow pain that propels your hips forward once more. A warm wetness trails along the hollow of your throat as Levi sucks at the skin above your racing pulse. His hips roll into yours relentlessly, devoid of thought or restraint. With each movement, his tail wrapped around your hips spasms, forcefully pulling you into his thrusts.

"Fuck," you curse, your head rolling back as you gasp for air. Levi's lips work fervently at your neck, alternating between sucking hard and grazing the skin with his sharp fangs, before soothing the spot with the fiery relief of his tongue. As your fingers glide down the length of his back, his muscles quiver and ripple beneath your touch. "M-more," you plead, yearning for increased friction, desperately seeking a bulge to grind against. Grasping his hips, you attempt to angle him so that the seam of your trousers can stimulate your clit.

"There... there... yesssssss," you hiss, feeling the rough friction that still manages to catch your clit just right with each swirl of his hips. With your legs wrapped around his waist, you eagerly meet every frantic jolt of his hips, their strength causing you to bounce. Gripping his hair, you plead incoherently, "Levi. Kiss... I want to kiss..."

Suddenly, Levi freezes above you. He withdraws from your neck, his face displaying surprise and vulnerability in his eyes. Clearly, something has caught him off guard, casting a momentary shadow of uncertainty over his expression. Sensing the shift in the atmosphere, you instinctively reach out, placing a hand on his shoulder in concern. Levi's chest heaves, his nose flaring as his tongue briefly tastes the air. Rising onto his forearms, he flops over onto his back beside you. "S-sorry," he apologizes, his voice rough and shaken.

It feels like it's the first time in forever that part of him isn't touching you. Even the segment of his tail that was wrapped around your waist has pulled away, coiling up not too far from you. The absence leaves you with a sense of loss, and the lack of scales against your skin creates an uncomfortable ache in your chest. "A-are you okay?" you inquire softly.

Beside you, Levi covers his face with his hands. His chest heaves, and it appears that he's struggling more than usual to catch his breath. "Y-yeah, sorry," he stammers, his voice revealing a vulnerability that contrasts with his typically composed demeanor. It's evident that he's grappling with a surge of emotions, his apology carrying a weight that suggests a deeper internal struggle. Licking his lips, he gazes up at the rocky ceiling above. "I... I'm fine."

The dazed and shaken expression on his face deepens your concern, twisting your stomach with unease. Although he has withdrawn before to regain composure, this instance appears more severe. "Was it too much?" you inquire, searching for an understanding of his reaction.

He nods, swallowing heavily. "I-" he hesitates, struggling to articulate his thoughts. Uncovering his face, his heated gaze shifts from your thighs to your face. "I can smell you."

"O-oh," you squeak, feeling a wave of embarrassment sweep over you, causing you to clench your thighs together. Despite the lingering ache from the loss of stimulation, you push it aside. Shuffling nervously, you cautiously meet his gaze. A mixture of anticipation and trepidation swirls within you, creating a flutter of nervous excitement in your stomach. "I- I kind of suspected you could. Is... is that a bad thing?"

"No," Levi responds hurriedly. His nose flares once more, his features darkening subtly with desire and frustration. "It just makes me feel like I might lose control. This... this is new for me. I don't want to push you."

"You're not pushing me," you assure him earnestly, reaching across the space between you to pat his shoulder reassuringly. "I'm in a similar place, honestly. I understand feeling overwhelmed."

"I don't know what I'm doing," Levi grumbles unhappily, his bottom lip protruding in a cute, frustrated pout.

"Neither do I," you reply with a nonchalant shrug. Gesturing vaguely toward his hips, you add, "I'm not even sure how this will work."

Crossing his hands over his stomach, Levi's fingers fidget together in a nervous display, reflecting a blend of anxiety and anticipation. He swallows heavily, his face flushing as his mouth opens and closes several times. "It's possible," he finally says, his voice surprisingly steady.

"It wouldn't matter to me even if it wasn't," you assure him earnestly. Upon hearing your words, some of the tension in his face eases, and a subtle sense of relief shines in his eyes. "I like you. I enjoy our conversations and simply being in your presence. I don't need anything more. This... this doesn't have to change things too much."

Levi's eyes flutter closed, and he lets out a loud sigh. With each breath, the tension in his shoulders melts away. When his eyes reopen, they exude a newfound sense of calm and determination. "I just need to calm down," he explains softly. Rolling onto his side, he reaches across the space between you to pull you close once more. He kisses you gently before playfully bumping his forehead against yours. "Let's talk. Something happier this time, remember?"

"We did get a little distracted," you note with an amused hum. Beneath your palm, you can still feel Levi's heart racing. Tilting your head, you catch a glimpse of the entrance from the corner of your eye. The rugged stone opening reveals a narrow view of the bright blue skies adorned with soft, fluffy white clouds drifting lazily across the horizon. "When did the storm end?"

"It petered off last night," Levi snorts, his fingers drumming an unfamiliar pattern along your spine. His eyes twinkle with a soft gray hue as he chuckles at your momentary lack of attention.

"Doesn't look like much snow actually stuck to the ground," you observe. Although it's difficult to discern through the entrance, you can make out patches of the small meadow's dark green grass peeking through the fresh snow. "And the storm only lasted a few hours. That's a good sign."

Levi hums curiously in response, his fingers idly playing with the edge of your shirt. Judging by the sky, it must be somewhere around midday. The two of you have spent more than an entire day engrossed in kissing and napping, cherishing each other's presence. The book Metal and Glass lies untouched behind you, and you have no intention of opening it again.

"What's your village like?" you ask, your curiosity piqued. Having never left your hometown, it's challenging for you to imagine anything beyond its familiar landscape. The same old farmhouses, plain and weathered with decaying wood, always populate your mind's eye. Longing for change, you eagerly seek to imagine something different in their place. "You've described the area before, but I can't quite visualize it."

Levi points over his shoulder towards the back wall of the cave, using his thumb as a guide. "If you follow the river up the mountain, you'll come across a large circular meadow nestled between two peaks of The Spine. That's where my den is, utilizing the natural barrier of the mountain to shield us from the outside world."

You still find it challenging to envision. Sensing your confusion, Levi continues his explanation. "Imagine a vast open field enclosed by towering walls. The only openings are where the river descends from the highest peak of The Spine and where it flows out of the lower section of the meadow."

You hum in response, your mind's eye gradually painting the picture of a distant white-capped mountain rising high into the sky, casting a shadow over the lush green canopy of The Maw. "I could always see that peak from my bedroom window," you share, reminiscing. "When I was little, I used to trace its shape on the glass. The tip was always so pristine white, sometimes blending in with the clouds... It's amazing to think that you were right there all along."

Levi nods in agreement, a contemplative expression on his face. “I could see your village too, from up above. The view is obstructed from my den, but whenever I was out hunting WildOnes, I could see it in the distance.” He pauses, tilting his head slightly. “Did you know that each of the nine mountains in The Spine has its own name?”

“Nine mountains?” you inquire, surprised. From afar, you could only glimpse the snowy peaks of the smaller mountains as they stretched across the horizon. On clearer days, the jagged rocky ridges and deep valleys would come into view. “I could only see three of them.”

Levi responds with a knowing smile. “The Maw is much larger than it seems. My den is situated between the northernmost peaks, Prime and Skull. According to legend, the entire ridge is said to be the skeletal remains of an ancient colossal snake. My den rests in the hollow cavity where its brain would be. It’s all nonsensical mythology, but some of my den-mates are quite fond of the concept.

Raising your eyebrows, you balk at his explanation, “So we're at the base of Prime?”

Levi nods. “Barely. This cave is at the very bottom of Prime. I'm not sure if it even counts as being on the mountainside. Fuck if I remember half of the other names, but the rest of the winding peaks make up the snake's body, hence The Spine.”

“Sounds like we have quite the climb ahead of us,” you note worriedly. The journey here left you sore enough and it's not like you've gotten a lot of exercise in the last few weeks. You haven't even bothered putting on your boots in days. Already you begin to mourn for your poor feet.

Levi chuckles, a low rumble in his chest. “Don’t worry, we won’t be climbing all the way to the top. Just a bit further up Prime’s slope, there’s a narrow path that leads to my den. It’s not as treacherous as it may sound. I’ve taken that route countless times. If we stick close to the river the incline isn't too bad,” Levi assures you with a confident tone. “The gap between the mountains shouldn't be too much of a problem.”

You nod, trying to picture a big enclosed meadow. The only thing that comes to mind is the hardened grey stone of a dam, rammed straight against rolling hills of lush green grass. “I'm guessing the mountain walls keep you safe from the WildOnes?”

Levi nods, “It makes us difficult for humans to find, too. There's a few other small villages in The Maw. We occasionally trade with them, but we don't always get along. The mountain protects us from those squabbles as well.”

“Other villages?” You gasp excitedly, practically bouncing in place. “There are other villages?”

Levi nods, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Yes, there are other villages scattered throughout The Maw. Most are sort of remote and isolated. They aren't nearly as eclectic as my den. They vary in size and composition. Some are predominantly inhabited by Naga like my den, while others are home to different magical creatures. Each village has its own unique culture and traditions.”

Your excitement grows, and you can’t help but imagine the diverse communities hidden within the vast expanse of The Maw. “I would love to visit those villages someday. It must be fascinating to see the different magical beings and their ways of life.” He'd mentioned before that his den consists of more than just Naga. What kinds of magical creatures could the other den-mates be?

Levi’s smirk widens. “Oh, I’m sure you’d find them interesting. The Maw is full of surprises. But be warned, not all villages are as welcoming as mine. Some prefer to keep to themselves, while others have a wary outlook on outsiders.”

With your mind whirling at the possibilities, you try to craft a vivid image of a little village based on what Levi has described. In your imagination, you see a picturesque landscape, with a rolling hill adorned by charming little brown houses. Each house exudes a cozy warmth, with smoke playfully spiraling out of their chimneys, hinting at the comforting presence of crackling fires within. The rushing stream carves its way through the heart of the village, its clear waters reflecting the sunlight and providing a soothing soundtrack as it babbles along. Behind the image of the serene little village, majestic mountain peaks loom high ahead, their stony ridges winding to surround the peaceful vista like a formidable guardian. Only ever having seen the peaks from a distance, you can't imagine how massive Prime and Skull must be up close.

Shit. You quickly scrap the image realizing that you'd accidentally filled the scene with farm houses, complete with sprawling fields and barns. “You mentioned fishing.. Do you have any farms? Wheat, cattle, stuff like that?”

“No,” he shakes his head, “Most of us can only really eat meat, so we don't really have a use for crops. And we can't really take care of any animals for three months out of the year. Miche, one of our hunters, keeps some rabbits and breeds them for food, but he always has to release a bunch of them come late fall.”

You frown. Everyone Levi’s mentioned seems to have some designated job to help out the den. “I want to contribute, once I get settled. I’m not sure where I’ll fit in.”

Levi reassures you, saying, “You don’t have to worry about that. After everything you’ve been through, you can just relax and spend time in the library if that’s what you want. A few of my den-mates spend most of their time there.”

“I appreciate that,” you reply, “but I think I’ll go crazy if I don’t move around every once in a while.” The idea of combing through the wide range of new and interesting information in the library is appealing, but your attention span can only stay still for so long. “I know you’ll be out and about dealing with WildOnes. I’ll figure out something to do.”

Levi pauses, his eyes slowly scanning your face as he assesses something in your features. After a moment, he nods, evidently satisfied with what he sees. "If that's what you want," he says. "You're strong and smart. I'm sure someone could use your help if you ask around."

Shifting slightly, Levi leans in and plants a quick kiss on your cheek. It's incredible how quickly he's become comfortable with these small, sweet gestures. Each one sends a wave of excitement through your heart, making it flutter in your chest. "The houses here are probably different from what you're used to," he remarks.

"Bigger, I imagine," you smirk, glancing at the curled expanse of his tail. The thicker part is pressed flat against your back, ensuring that Levi can hold you close. You enjoy it when he does this, enveloping you as if you were a precious treasure to be protected.

Levi admits shyly, "I'm actually on the smaller end of my kind. But yes, most of the buildings will probably seem spacious to you. They're also closer together compared to what I saw in your village. It's a tight-knit community, although my place is on the outer edge, near the river. Some of my den-mates can be... loud."

You interject with a playful tone, "I bet there aren't any multiple stories. I can't imagine it's easy for you to navigate stairs."

Levi huffs, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'll take your word for it," he replies, shrugging indifferently. "I'll have to remember to get a chair for you. I purposely don't have one to keep Hange from coming around too often," he explains with a heavy sigh. "But I guess that plan won't work. I bet that menace will never leave us alone."

The casual inference of "us" causes your heart to throb with a mix of excitement and uncertainty. The word lingers in the air, heavy with significance.

Wide-eyed, Levi begins speaking hurriedly, his words tumbling out with a touch of nervousness. "You— we can still have a house built for you, but—" He pauses, visibly grappling with his thoughts, his fingers digging into your hip in a worried manner.

You quickly intervene, soothing him with an eager smile and a reassuring voice. "No, no," you say, "I don't think that will be necessary if you're okay with me moving in. I like the idea." Your words carry a hint of excitement as you express your desire. "I don't think I could bear being away from you at this point."

He smiles softly, a small and gentle upward curve of his lips that matches the ache in your heart. The sight brings you comfort and reassurance. As he speaks, his thumb works a fond circle into your hip, a tender gesture that fills you with warmth. “I feel the same way,” he says, his voice carrying a softness that resonates deep within you.

Yet, a lingering worry persists within you, buried deep in your chest. It’s a thought you’ve been trying to push aside for days, but now it demands your attention. “Do… Do you think they’ll like me?” you ask, vulnerability evident in your voice. “Your friends?” The concern about being accepted by the important people in Levi’s life has been gnawing at you, cultivating a growing sense of unease.

His response comes immediately, a firm and certain affirmation that washes away your worries. “Yes,” he says with conviction, as if he doesn’t even question the thought for a moment. The assurance in his voice brings comfort to your anxious heart. His fingers fiddle soothingly along the back of your head, gently petting your hair, a tender gesture that helps to ease your concerns. “They’ll love you,” he assures, his words carrying warmth and sincerity.

“How can you be so sure?” you ask fretfully. Waving a hand towards his chest then yours, you continue, “And what- what about us? This has to be different..”

Shushing you softly, Levi pats your arm reassuringly. “Listen,” he starts, “Humans and Naga used to coexist at one point. It was a -fuck what's the word- symbiotic relationship. We'd protect you during the warmer months and you'd protect us during the cold months. This-” he mimics your gesture with the flick of a wrist “-this isn't something completely unheard of.”

It feels as if something in your brain has fallen loose, leaving your mind in a state of awe and disbelief. In just a handful of sentences, a profound shift has occurred, shaking the foundation of your reality and stirring a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. It’s as if the world has shifted on its axis, leaving you reeling and breathless. “How do you know this?” you ask, voice carrying a mix of curiosity and wonder.

“Erwin has talked about it more than a few times,” Levi explains with a noncommittal shrug. “He has a bunch of old books from back then, so many that they don't even fit on his bookshelves anymore. He somehow keeps finding more, making a huge fucking mess with the stacks balanced everywhere around his house. Remember, he’s tried to convince me that we should reach out to human villages. He likes to point towards those as proof that things could work out well.”

Based on your previous interactions, you can guess at the answer, but you ask anyway, “Then…what happened?”

His lips thin into a grim line as he speaks, his words laced with a sense of bitterness and disappointment. “Exactly what you’d expect,” he says, his tone weighted with dread. “Erwin always fails to acknowledge how the story ends, focusing on the more idyllic portion of the tale. Humans eventually learned about the luck our scales could bring them. Things changed immediately. Their greedy natures became apparent in the blink of an eye. The filthy fuckers they-” Pausing, Levi hisses softly under his breath, letting loose a soft curse. “The Naga were thrown in cages, mistreated and farmed. Only some managed to escape into The Maw.”

“Better to run into danger than be tortured in captivity,” you hum knowingly. The choice between facing the perils of the unknown and enduring the torment must've been difficult. You hadn't even been able to contemplate taking that leap, the option had been thrust upon you.

“Exactly. You understand,” he agrees with a solemn nod. “The Maw was even wilder back then, teeming with gigantic Wild beasts around every corner, but they went into the darkness willingly. I don't blame them.”

“Me either,” you respond. “So my ancestors were cruel to yours…”

“Don't you dare apologize,” Levi chides softly in response, knowingly watching your lip quiver. His thumb comes up, smoothing across your bottom lip. “It was hundreds of years ago and has nothing to do with you. You're special. Kind. They were all monstrous pieces of shit, including the ones who kept me in chains.”

“Still…” you warble sadly. Your thoughts are interrupted by a high chirp. The sound is singular and high pitched, quickly followed by a distant echo. Coming from behind you, something small crunches the snow near the cave’s entrance. It's a familiar sound, the rustle of feathers and the flapping of tiny wings. More high pitched twitters follow. “Are those birds chirping?”

Head rising, Levi’s head tilts curiously towards the opening. “Sounds like it,” he confirms.

“This is the first that I've heard them,” you start, excited by the noisy trills promising of brighter days ahead. “It must mean spring is starting soon.”

Levi flops his head back down onto the bedding, emitting a soft hum. He avoids meeting your gaze, instead, his fingers fiddle with the neckline of your shirt absentmindedly. "Is there anything else you want to know?" he asks, his voice hushed with a hint of vulnerability.

"Why do you always do that?" you ask, your frustration evident in the glare you shoot him. "Lately, every time I've mentioned spring, you get quiet or change the subject. What's going on?"

Levi's mouth opens and closes several times, his throat bobbing with heavy swallows. His shoulders stiffen beneath your hands, turning as rigid as stone. “There-” He struggles to meet your gaze as he speaks, his voice filled with a mix of hesitation and anxiety. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you... about spring."

The way his eyes are pinched tight only intensifies the anxiety suddenly surging through you. It looks like dread. “L-Levi..?”

Levi speaks hurriedly, his words stumbling over each other. "I... I usually spend the first few weeks of spring here. I can guide you to the den and then head back. Or... if there's not enough time, you could go by yourself."

“W-what-”

He completely ignores you, continuing forward at a rapid fire pace. “You remember how to get to the river, right? It's just to the west, then you follow that north up the mountain.”

“-What are you talking about-”

“This early in the season, Connie will probably on guard-”

“Levi!” You stop him mid-word, grabbing his chin to force his gaze to meet yours. “The fuck are you talking about? What happens in spring?”

"It-" Levi's voice catches in his throat, his hesitation palpable. He swallows, as if his throat is constricted. The rest of his sentence comes out in a hushed, guarded tone. "It's mating season."

Oh.

Fingers twisting nervously into the fabric of your shoulders, he continues, “I can already feel it coming. That's why- I don't want to push you. This is new and-”

"I'm not opposed," you interrupt, your voice carrying a high-pitched squeak. A mix of embarrassment and excitement flushes your face, and a jittery thrill courses through your limbs. "I... I don't want to leave you all alone here."

He shudders, his gaze avoiding yours as he struggles to find the right words. "Y-you don't understand. It's different. If... if you're here, I'll lose control. I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop myself."

Frowning, you press him further, "So your plan is to send me off on my own into The Maw, and you just stay here alone? What will you do?"

He grunts, puffing out a heavy sigh. “Same thing I've always done. Fuck my own hand until it hurts,” he waves off your shocked gasp. “I’m used to enduring it alone. It's fine.”

“Enduring…” The vivid image makes your stomach clench, arousal flaring between your thighs. “You don't have to.. I-”

Tongue flicking out, his gaze darkens with a simmering heat. Leaning forward, that darkness bores into you like a dangerous, enticing threat. With a blink, some of the heat falls away, worry surging forward. “You don't understand. If- if we fuck during my heat I won't be able to stop myself. I'll mark you. This- this will be permanent.”

Something in your chest stills as you process his words. "Permanent?" you repeat, your voice barely a whisper.

Your pulse quickens, matching the intensity of his gaze in the flickering firelight. His fangs glisten, a testament to his true nature. Levi's voice is low and husky as he explains the implications of a mating bond, his nails grazing the sensitive skin of your neck. "There wouldn't be any turning back," he murmurs, his voice filled with a mix of longing and vulnerability. “I wouldn't be able to stop myself from claiming you.”

A surge of emotions fills your chest, making it hard to find your voice. "Levi," you manage to whisper, your voice laced with both curiosity and a hint of fear. "Is that something you want?"

His expression flickers with a mix of uncertainty and raw desire. "Yeah, I... yeah," he stammers, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I've never felt this way before. It's overwhelming, but it's what I want."

Levi's words hang heavy in the air, his desire and uncertainty intertwining in his expression. Your heart races, the weight of his emotions echoing within you. Gently, you speak his name, your voice filled with a blend of tenderness and yearning. "Levi," you murmur, your fingers caressing his cheek, tracing a gentle line along his cheekbone. The realization hits you like a wave crashing against the shore—you love him. But instead of uttering those three words, you convey your commitment in a different way. "If it's what you truly want," you say softly, "I'm willing to take that leap with you." Cupping his face in your hands, you convey your decision clearly. "I'll stay."

His eyes widen in surprise, unable to believe what he's hearing. "What- you- you want that?" he stammers, his voice filled with a mixture of shock and hope.

You meet his gaze with unwavering certainty. "Yes," you reply firmly. "I want to be with you."

Levi's eyes scan your face, searching for any trace of doubt or hesitation. His mouth opens, but before he can speak, you interject. "Yes," you reiterate, emphasizing your decision. "I'm sure."

A wave of tension releases from Levi's shoulders, and his spirit seems to soar free. Relief washes over his face, radiating like the first rays of dawn after a long and stormy night. You can't help but smile, leaning forward to place a tender kiss on his lips.

"How long do we have?" you inquire, curiosity tinged with eagerness.

Levi's chin bobs forward as he returns your kiss. "Soon," he murmurs, his voice filled with anticipation. "It'll be soon. A week. Maybe even a handful of days." The promise lingers in the air, fueling your excitement for the future.

A sudden surge of anxiety twists your gut like a metal vice. A handful of days... In only a handful of days, you'll be... You've never really thought too much about sex, and your continuing virginity doesn't really rank high in terms of things that actually mattered. Still, it's daunting to realize that there's now a solid time frame until it'll be gone. Until... Your eyes instinctively dart downward, quickly appraising the smooth dark grey scales below his stomach, before bouncing back up to his face.

Seeing your concern, his forehead bumps into yours. He frowns, softly cupping the back of your head. “Are you sure about this? I might be rough. Heats are normally quite.. frantic. I don't think it'll be a nice first time.”

Nervously, you begin, your fingers fiddling anxiously at his shoulders. "I-I've heard that first times can be sort of painful... Could we... would you be opposed if we explored a bit first?" You pause, gesturing vaguely towards his lap. "I'm not sure how you work."

Levi huffs, rolling his eyes, his cheeks turning a bright and rosy pink. The color deepens, spreading to the tips of his ears like glowing coals. His eyes briefly glance down to your thighs, and his tongue peeks out with a short flick. "I... I don't really know how you work either," he admits, his voice tinged with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty.

Laughing softly, you nudge his nose with your own, urging him to kiss you. The playful touch fills the air with anticipation, a gentle spark igniting between you. His eyes meet yours, reflecting a mix of desire and affection. In that tender moment, the world fades away, leaving only the two of you connected by an unspoken understanding. Time stands still, fingers press into your scalp, and soft lips meet yours.

A blazing inferno ignites, passion filling the atmosphere with an electric charge. He sighs into you, lapping softly into your mouth with an urgent heat. Just the hot slide of his tongue is enough to have you moaning, all of your senses narrowing in on nothing but him. The intensity consumes you, melting away any inhibitions and flooding your senses with a wave of desire. Every touch, every breath, fuels the raging flames filling your blood, leaving you with an undeniable yearning for more.

“Levi,” you groan into his mouth, lips not even breaking away from him. Somehow, you've ended up on your back. Levi hovering over you, one forearm pressed to the bedding beside your head, the other hand softly cupping the base of your skull. It's like he's been let loose, suddenly wild with a need he's been holding back for too long. He's everywhere, both skin and scales wrapped tight around you. “Fuck.. Levi.”

Moaning your name, he shifts to tug urgently at your top. Even in desperation, the touch is gentle. The sharp points of his claws pull up the bottom hem, only barely grazing your skin. “Can I explore you?”

Gasping, your fingers scramble across the smooth porcelain of his back. “N-not that i'm opposed but w-where's this coming from?” His hips jolt roughly into yours, cutting off the thought and sending your mind spiraling into buzzing arousal.

“Want you,” he breathes with a hot gust of air. Lapping at the pulse of your throat, sharp teeth graze your skin in a short delicious pain. Rolling his hips, he shifts so that the seam of your pants perfectly catches your clit. “Your scent has been driving me insane.”

It's harder and harder to think with every roll of his hips. The grip he has on your hips tightens, pulling you to match his steady thrusts. His fingers wander beneath your shirt, teasingly dragging along the small of your back. Sharp teeth graze your earlobe followed by a hot gust of air and a heated whisper, “Can I?

“Yes,” you moan. “Take it off.”

The next thing you know your upper half is bare. Pulling away to sit upright, Levi's intense gaze lingers on your bare skin, darkened with a mix of desire and reverence. The weight of his stare feels like a gentle caress, making your heart race in anticipation of what is to come. The intensity in his eyes speaks volumes, conveying a profound appreciation for the vulnerable moment shared between you. It's as if time stands still, his throat bobbing in anticipation.

Trembling fingers drag curiously up your torso. Grey eyes locked with yours, another heavy swallow follows as his nails slowly skim up along your skin, towards your bare breasts. “Soft,” he says breathlessly. “You're so soft.”

He looks astonished, jaw dropping with a shuddered gasp. Cupping your right breast, the way he holds you is almost devout. His thumb skims a cautious circle around the tightened peak, making you moan openly.

Surging forward, Levi’s lips crash into yours with revived intensity. Heated, the lip lock has lost all finesse, quickly growing sloppy as his hips reestablish their rolling thrusts. He drinks in all of your little noises, filling your throat with his own eager groans of excitement.

For what seems like an eternity, Levi slides his tongue against yours with an intense, heated fervor. Too soon, he abandons the kiss, lowering his head to bathe the column of your neck in sloppy wet kisses. Trailing further down, the occasional sharp sting of teeth makes you gasp, head falling back onto the bedding. He takes the opening greedily, sucking little marks into your exposed throat with a pleaser moan.

Lowering his head, Levi's breath washes over your chest in a hot gust, causing goosebumps to rise along your skin. The warmth and proximity of his breath sends a shiver down your spine, heightening your senses and igniting a delicious anticipation within you. He kisses you, each touch soft and quick, starting with your collarbone. Then, with an irresistible magnetism, he moves a bit lower, planting another delicate kiss. The rhythm continues in an endless staccato, creating a symphony of sensations that sends shivers of pleasure cascading through your body. Each kiss is a tantalizing tease, building a crescendo of desire that leaves you yearning for more.

The next kiss lands right at the center of your chest, his lips pulling teasingly at the skin there with a long wet suck. His heated gaze remains locked with yours, unyielding and intense, as if trying to convey a thousand unspoken desires. It's thrilling, filling you with a rush of exhilaration and burning anticipation.

Resting the side of his head heavily on your belly, he gazes up at you with pure heated adoration. The pink of his tongue peaks out, lapping softly at the underside of your right breast. You jolt, “Ahh, Levi!”

“Your skin tastes so good,” he tells you in an awed breath, swirling his tongue higher and higher along the peak. Sucking at the rounded curve of your right breast, his teeth leave a small mark in their wake. “I could bathe every inch of you with my tongue.”

"It's just sweat," you pant, your fingers threading into his hair as you try to pull him upward for another kiss. The intensity of the moment, coupled with the heat between you, has beads of perspiration forming on your skin.

“It's you,” he breathes into your skin, his words tinged with a mixture of awe and reverence. The heat of his gaze, intense and unwavering, is fixed upon your face, causing your mind to spiral and your thoughts to stumble and falter before they can fully form. “I don't think I'll ever get tired of you. Your taste. Your voice. Your smell. Your heat. Everything.”

His words are dizzying. Tugging harder at his hair, you beg mindlessly, “Kiss..kiss..” Resisting your pull, his tongue swirls a slow circle around your nipple. Pure sensation floods through you and suddenly you can't tell up from down. It's as if reality narrows, the hot press of his tongue becoming the entirety of your world. Keening loudly, you immediately switch to thoughtlessly pulling his head closer to your breast. “More, Levi. More!”

"So sensitive," he murmurs against your nipple, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down your spine. His lips graze your skin with wet, featherlight kisses, tracing a path of tantalizing sensations just around the hardened peak. After what feels like an eon, his lips enclose around the hardened bud, tugging urgently at the sensitive skin with a satisfied hum.

"God, fuck!" you gasp, your head falling back. You're forced to pinch your eyes tightly shut as a sharp surge of pleasure and pressure shoots through you. Every nerve ending tingles with the intensity of the sensation, overwhelming your senses and leaving you breathless. It's so much. “Good! Shit, Levi,” you cry nonsensically, “Don't stop!”

Digging your nails into his scalp, the pain only urges him to suck harder, his forked tongue swirling quick circles into the bud. Pulling away with a wet smack, you whine airily in protest of the loss. The sudden shock of cool air against your heated skin has you aching. Levi's thumb quickly comes up to the abandoned bud, working warm and dizzying circles into the oversensitive peak. Delirious, you chant, “Ah- aaah! Levi. Too much! It's too much!” The touch is almost overwhelming, sending a jolt of conflicting sensations through your body. You're torn between wanting to squirm closer, seeking more of the pleasure it brings, or pulling away, overwhelmed by the intensity.

Your hips jolt uncontrollably, bumping hard into his abdomen. He grunts in response and in an instant the thinnest portion of his tail comes up to encircle your waist with a surprising strength. It holds you in place, anchoring you to him with a firm grip that prevents your hips from continuing their thoughtless churn. His scales are smooth and cool, a distinct contrast to the warmth of his skin and the heat of his gaze. Shivering from the extra layer of sensation, your fingers skirt across the smooth scales.

You can’t help but voice your need, the urgency in your voice evident. “Levi… I… I need…” you trail off, your voice filled with longing.

“Soon,” he responds, his voice laced with heated desire. The word hangs in the air, fueling the intensity between you, promising that your desires will soon be fulfilled. His gaze locks onto yours, burning with a dark and primal promise. “I'm still exploring.”

Turning his head, he treats your left breast with the same amount of care as he did the right. Slow and patients, he matches the same pace as before, starting out by sucking at the fatty underside of your chest. The process unfolds achingly slowly, every moment drawing out the anticipation as his lips slowly move up. Levi’s darkened eyes remain locked onto your flushed face the entire time, you can feel the heat of it burning into you even as your eyes fall closed. “Shit,” you gasp, trembling in his grip. This time, he sucks at your nipple with a fevered pressure, his thumb working dizzying circles into the abandoned bud. Sharp teeth graze the peak, resulting in a deep shudder that sends your back ramrod straight.

It feels as though every nerve in your body has been struck with lightning, igniting a fire that races through your veins with a fevered intensity. Every lap of his tongue echoes straight through you, burning all the nerve endings straight from your torso to your thighs, making your clit throb in a painful need. Desperate for friction, all you can do is squirm in his grasp, your hands clutching onto his head as you pull him closer, craving more of the electrifying sensations he’s stirring within you.

Humming in satisfaction, every little noise he makes vibrates through your skin. The sound is hungry and desperate. Every heated exhale and muffled moan that escapes from his lips fuels the fire within you. Abandoning your chest with a soft pop, Levi looks down at you, his dark eyes drinking in your flushed face with a potent mix of satisfaction and burgeoning lust.

Repeating his actions before, Levi's lips leave a trail of soft and quick kisses as they continue their adventure downward. One after the next, they trace a winding path across your stomach, igniting a fluttering sensation within you. The intimate attention causes your abdomen to clench in anticipation, a mix of nerves and desire intertwining. Tugging hesitantly at the band of your pants, he asks, “This next?”

“Please,” you beg, already wiggling your hips up to help remove the garment. You're so wet, you can feel the slickness leaking along your upper thighs. You don't think you've ever been so aroused in your life, not that you've had a lot of free time to explore.

Soon enough, you're completely naked beneath his gaze. Levi pauses, his gaze fixed on you, his expression filled with curiosity and perhaps a hint of surprise. His piercing eyes bore into yours, as if searching for something beyond your words. The flickering flames cast an eerie glow on his scales, accentuating the enigmatic aura that surrounds him. His thumb shifts, working curiously into the meat of your inner thigh.

You’ve never felt so bare. His eyes flicker from your face to between your thighs, his face contorting with a perplexed expression, as if he’s trying to decipher something. His tongue flicks out, tasting the air around your simmering heat. Dark grey orbs drag slowly along your folds, the sharp points of his nails digging into your skin in a surge of anxiety. Mouth dropping open, his chest heaves with an unsteady breath.

Beneath his curious gaze, a surge of nerves flares to life, electrifying your every fiber. Squirming in his grasp, you involuntarily clench your thighs together. Anxiety surges through your heart with a frantic beat, its rhythm matching the racing thoughts in your mind.

Seeing your nerves, Levi's fingers work soothing circles into your thigh, his touch offering a comforting reassurance. His gaze flicks up to assess your face, his eyes heavy with intensity as they drink in your anxious features. With genuine concern, he speaks softly, "We can stop if you want."

The softness in his expression causes your heart to skip a beat, a rush of affection and tenderness flooding your senses. With sincerity, you assure him, "No," your voice filled with earnestness, "I want this." Your chest surges with relief, catching anxiety lingering in his own features. “I want more. Please?”

He smiles at you softly, his eyes reflecting warmth and understanding. Without hesitation, he leans forward, closing the distance between you, and presses a quick, gentle kiss to your lips. Levi's gaze lingers on your body, specifically the cleft between your thighs, a mix of curiosity and fascination evident in his eyes. "You have hair here too," he notes, his voice filled with genuine awe.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter, heart thudding as you watch his fingers prod curiously at your folds. His heated gaze dances back and forth between your soaked center and your flushed face, nose flaring. The touch is inquisitive, delicate and gentle, his fingers tracing the strands with a careful curiosity.

Using his finger and thumb, he spreads you wide, the petals of your labia falling apart with a sticky wetness. The curiosity in his gaze bleeds into open hunger. “So wet,” he coos, sliding a finger through the slickness in a dizzying wave of sensation. You jolt thoughtlessly, pressing into the teasing touch. Eyes burning with lust, he locks his gaze with yours, emanating an overwhelming heat. He watches your jaw drop with burning anticipation, his eyes fixed on your reaction, as his fingers prod into the wet heat of your folds. In a heated voice, he asks, "Is all this for me?"

His tone is filled with a mixture of disbelief and desire, as if he can hardly believe that the extent of your arousal is because of him. You bob your head nonsensically in response, hips jolting uncontrollably. Words fail you in this moment, but your actions speak volumes, confirming that yes, all of this is indeed for him.

His touch is too soft, too gentle and both too low and too high. The pads of his fingers are slowly dragging along the spread petals of your labia, a dizzying tease that makes your hips wiggle against the tight clasp he has wrapped around your waist. Whining loudly, you throw your head back, churning your hips thoughtlessly in an attempt to move the touch upwards. Tugging at his right bicep with desperate strength, his name leaves your lips in a needy plea, the sound laced with desire and urgency. “L-Levi, up- higher- touch me higher!”

"What do I do?" he asks, his eyes wavering up and down your body. Licking his lips, the swell of his throat bobs in a heavy swallow. His voice carries a mix of uncertainty and anticipation. "Show me," he pleads, his desire evident in both his words and the way he looks at you. He's eager to learn and explore, ready to follow your lead and fulfill your desires.

Swallowing heavily, your fingers skim down, trailing along the soaked petals of your labia. Gathering some slickness, you shudder beneath his heated gaze. “Here,” you rasp, swirling a smooth circle into your clit. “Little circles, like this.” Watching you with eager anticipation, his fingers tighten their grip on the meat of your thigh.

Impossibly, the intensity in his gaze grows, his eyes locking onto your movement with unwavering focus. It's as if nothing else exists. The weight of his gaze sends shivers down your spine, surging the liquid heat filling your veins. It's a potent mix of curiosity, longing, and a hint of vulnerability, all encapsulated in the depths of his captivating eyes. The ache within you intensifies. Every fiber of your being yearns for his touch, for the connection that promises to unravel the depths of your desires. Your voice trembles with need as you plead, “T-touch me. Levi, please! It’s not enough…”

“I will. Don't worry, I will,” he says, voice filled with determination. Bringing his hand up to his face, Levi brings the sharp talon of one of his claws between his teeth. The pointed tip presses against his teeth, and he applies pressure, his fangs sinking into the hard surface. With a firm bite, he snaps off the pointed end, spitting it out into the distance. The process repeats as he bites off the tips of his other claws, determined to remove all the sharp tips on his right hand.

“Wha- what are you doing?” you ask, your voice filled with a mixture of surprise and confusion, as you try to make sense of his actions.

Once Levi finishes biting off the sharp tips of his claws, he takes a moment to examine his fingertips. His gaze lingers on the now blunted claws, their appearance resembling human nails with rough rounded edges. As he looks at them, he offers an explanation, “Don’t want to hurt you.”

"Oh," you breathe, your voice catching in your throat. The sight of his dulled claws evokes a mixture of gratitude and tenderness within you. It's a sweet, thoughtful, and considerate act, one that resonates deeply in your heart, causing it to throb with affection and appreciation.

Just as you'd shown him, his fingers quickly slide along your cleft to gather some slickness, before carefully prodding at the swollen bud throbbing above. His heated gaze bounces between watching his fingers work and observing your features as they twist with pleasure. “Like this?” he asks, voice uncertain.

The combination of uncertainty and desire in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. You nod eagerly, encouraging him to continue, your voice laced with anticipation as you affirm, "Yes, just like that. Don't stop."

Two of his fingers work a quick tempo into your clit, moving in tight and fast circles in a way that leaves you clenching. As you gasp and quiver, his tail tightens its grip around you, ensuring your hips remain still as his touch sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Nails digging into his shoulders, you suddenly feel empty. “I can feel you throbbing,” he notes excitedly. Sliding his fingers down to gather more slickness, the rapid pace shifts to match the hot pulse of your clit.

“Fuck,” you manage, blinking hazily. You've played with yourself plenty of times before, both out of a healthy mix of boredom and curiosity, but nothing your own fingers did could ever measure up to this. Chest heaving, you pant his name in an urgent plea, “Levi -it's ah- Levi!”

"Yeah," he breathes, his voice oozing with an excessive sense of satisfaction and composure. While your mind seems to unravel at the seams, his voice remains steady and deep, with just the faintest quiver. "What do you need?"

“Inside,” you urge him breathlessly with a desperate jolt of your hips. Digging your nails into his shoulders, you tug at him urgently. “Put them inside.”

Stopping the attention at your clit, he prods the pad of his finger along the rim of your entrance. The tip barely presses in, a dizzying teasing pressure just past the ring of muscle. Licking his lips nervously, his voice trembles as he speaks, “Here?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nod, chest heaving with exertion and anticipation. The atmosphere between you is so oppressively hot and sticky that it's challenging to catch your breath. Seeking stability and leverage, you curl your toes behind his back. Your digits make contact with the slick coolness of the scales at the base of his spine, sending a shiver of excitement down your spine. Using the contact, you lift your hips, urging him forward with a needy whine, “Levi, please!”

“Shit,” he gasps, watching the digit disappear into you with stunned awe. His jaw falls slack, revealing a mix of surprise and disbelief as his finger wiggles curiously in your depths. “You feel so-” It's as if the ground beneath him has crumbled, leaving him momentarily speechless. Slowly, he regains his composure and steadies himself, pulling back before pushing in again. Then again, filling you with a slow and steady rhythm.

Overwhelmed by the sensation, your head lulls back into the bedding’s soft embrace. Eyes fluttering closed, you can still feel the burning intensity of his gaze on your skin. You can almost feel the weight of his eyes as they traverse your face, tracing every contour and line with an intense, eager heat. “Levi,” you moan loudly, peeling your eyes open to meet his fevered gaze. Your hips jolt, fighting against his grip to meet every thrust in short, abated swirls. “s’ not enough,” you manage to tell him, tongue heavy and voice slurred. You quiver, clenching down around as the digit works a curious circle into the over sensitive skin. “More! Gimme one more!”

“You're so tight,” he breathes, voice filled with awe. Speaking to himself, you can barely hear the words in your daze. They're hushed and quiet compared to the loud roaring in your ears. “Will I even fit?”

Dazed, you only process his finger pulling away, leaving you empty and aching. Nodding nonsensically, you beg, “Please please please! Need it! Need more!”

Eager to appease, a second digit quickly joins, twisting into you in an urgent rhythm. It's a bit of a stretch, but the pressure is delicious in a way that makes your toes curl. You're so slick that each ingress is an easy, gentle slide, filling the air with a filthy wet squelching that makes your ears ring and your heart hammer a thunderous beat.

His fingers twist deliciously inside you with every stroke, the pads pressing curiously into your gummy walls. He’s clearly searching for something, jabbing and curling his fingers. Through your shuddered vision, you watch him carefully assess your face, his brows furrowed in a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. Despite the blurred edges of your vision, you can still perceive the intent behind his gaze. “Where-,” he asks, his voice brimming with genuine curiosity and a palpable eagerness, “How… how do I?”

The mix of excitement and anticipation evident in his tone sends a shiver down your spine. “Curl them-” you instruct him breathlessly, reveling in the earnest heat flooding his face. You haven't even touched him, and yet his skin is flushed bright pink. Even portions of his chest are spotty and flushed with excitement. “Curl them upwards like- ah shit!”

Your words are cut short as he immediately follows instruction, quirking the digits up just right to leave you gasping for air. “There,” he notes gleefully, satisfaction evident as he observes the dazed look on your face. Wrapped loosely around his waist, your thighs spasm from the surge of sensation. His left hand digs excitedly into the fat of your thigh, incensed by the breathy moan that escapes your lips. Bearing down on you, his fingers jab repeatedly into the sensitive spot in an unrelenting fervor. “Is that good?”

“Y-yeah,” you manage to utter, your voice trembling with a mix of overwhelming emotions. The intensity of the moment leaves you momentarily speechless, struggling to find the right words to express the whirlwind of sensations coursing through your body. “L-Levi,” you squeal, voice cracking in excitement. The overwhelming intensity of the moment engulfs you, causing you to pinch your eyes tight as your vision blurs. As your eyes close, the darkness behind your eyelids transforms into a swirling vortex of vivid colors and shapes, creating a mesmerizing kaleidoscope. The external world fades away, its presence diminished as your senses become hyper-focused on the sheer ecstasy pulsating through your body. Desperate for something to ground yourself, one hand instinctively claws into the bedding behind your head. Shifting his hand, his thumb rises to work quick circles into your clit. “Aah- fuck- y-you're good at this.”

You can’t see him, but from the tone of his voice, there’s a distinct smirk underlying his words. “Told you I’m a quick learner,” he replies, his voice carrying a sense of playful satisfaction.

“Shit,” you curse dazedly, barely managing to peel your eyes open to look at Levi. Throbbing rhythmically around him, the knot building in your stomach pulls taut, twisting tighter and tighter with every thrust. A surging tidal wave of pleasure lingers tantalizingly at the edges of your senses, its presence buzzing around the back of your skull. It looms just on the edge of your consciousness, an intoxicating mixture of sharp pleasure and desire. The intensity of it builds with every thrust of his fingers and every heated grunt that escapes his lips. Watching him through wet lashes, the heated intensity of his gaze only sends your mind spiraling further towards the edge. It seems poised to crash over you at any moment. “L-Levi! I’m close!”

His eyes widen in response to your words, the pink of his tongue peaking out to taste the air. You’re so slick, the scent must be drowning his senses completely. “Not yet,” he says with a deep, shuddering breath. His fingers twist, pressing hard into the sensitive patch of tissue before going still. “You can't come yet.

The sudden lack of stimulation makes you whine, your hips wiggling in his grasp in a sorrowful attempt to get some more. Everything inside you aches, the surge of overwhelming pleasure fading with painful disappointment. With your head lolling back against the bedding, you express your dissatisfaction with a whine, “Why?”

Humming mysteriously in response, his fingers slide from your fluttering grasp. The sudden emptiness only worsens your ache. Raising the digits to his face, the pink of his tongue peaks out once again, licking a long trail along the soaked digits from base to tip. His eyes flutter closed and his chest heaves with a long, pleasured shudder. He sucks eagerly at the digits with an intensity that makes your breath catch. Groaning at the taste, he explains, “I've been dying to taste you.”

Shuffling downwards in a rippling display of onyx scales, he pulls your thighs to rest over his shoulders, holding you in place with a soft and steady grasp. Resting the side of his head against the plush skin, he presses a quick kiss to the crease of your inner thigh. “Ohh look at that,” he breathes in a soft coo, staring down at your soaking pussy with open hunger. His eyes are such a mesmerizing shade of dark and stormy grey that you can barely see the sharp slits of his pupils. Eyes widening with an unmistakable expression of lust, his mouth drops open in sheer awe. “I can see you clenching,” he breathes excitedly, his breath bathing your over sensitive cunt with heat.

A tremor builds, starting right between your shoulder blades and coursing through your entire being. You find yourself clenching uncontrollably in response to his words, right beneath his watching gaze. Goosebumps surge up your spine, causing your back to instinctively straighten. As you wiggle within his grasp, the small of your back arches, lifting slightly from the bedding below. It seems impossible, but even more heat surges into your face. Even your ears feel flushed and warm.

His tongue peaks out, the forked edge bathing your inner thigh with a warm and wet heat. The touch is teasing, slowly and gradually lapping at the skin of your inner thighs, soaking in the taste of your skin with pleased little hums. He's teasing himself, you realize, slowly working his way towards the slick heat of your cunt.

You gasp, hips canting uselessly as one long lick traces between your folds from bottom to top. “Fuck,” he groans, fingers tightening into the meat of your thighs. His grasp on you shifts, pulling you impossibly closer with an intense strength. Eyes pinched closed, he groans openly into your pussy. “You taste so fucking good. Just like I thought you would.”

Repeating the process, he laps urgently along the length of your folds, every hot slide stopping just short of your clit. “Levi,” you whine. “Ah- fuck, Levi!” Instinctively, you reach down and fist your hands into his hair.

“Mhmm,” he moans deliriously, circling the tip of his tongue around your entrance to lap at the slickness that's gushing out. “There's so much. I want all of it. I want to taste you forever.”

You clench, gushing even more. With pleasure burning a dizzying haze through your brain, it's difficult to keep your eyes open, but you fight to keep them locked into his face.

The forked tip slides up to wind dizzying circles into your clit. You moan helplessly as latches himself onto your clit, sucking on it gently and flicking it with his tongue. Lips tightening around the bud, he suckles it with a heavy groan. The strong pressure has you gasping, your stomach clenching in tight little shudders. Between your thighs, Levi's face contorts into an open display of pleasure, his brows knitting tightly together as his jaw works urgently against you. Every eager groan he releases is dizzying, vibrating through your skin and echoing into your very soul.

Working his way back down with several long laps along the spread folds of your labia, the tip of his tongue works smooth circles along the rim of your entrance. The appendage presses in, lapping softly at your gummy walls. His pointer and index fingers rise to work quick circles in your clit. His tongue may be thin, but it's long, filling you with a wet, writhing heat.

His nose huffs a pleased, warm gust of air where it's mashed against the crease of your thigh. It's like he's kissing your entrance, his lips working urgently and pleased little groans rumbling through his chest as his tongue pumps deep. It's so slick and wet, his broken groans vibrating through you beside a loud filthy squelch. Impossibly, the wet muscle twists just right, curving into the sensitive patch of skin along your front wall.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” you gasp thoughtlessly, sheer overwhelming pleasure forcing your bred to lull back and your eyes to pinch closed. Groaning into you, the slick pumping increases to a rapid fire pace, sliding past your g-spot with every thrust. The familiar coil builds back at the base of your stomach with an alarming speed. “L-Lee -I- I’m gunna-”

“I can feel it,” he says in a fevered tone, barely pulling away to speak. His fingers swirl hard, rounded circles into your clit, making you squirm and whimper. He coos softly, blowing a gentle puff of air onto the swollen bud. “You’re fluttering so softly. Come for me, right around my tongue.”

The slithering mass quickly fills you again, thrusting into you with a burning heat. A squeal escapes you, accompanied by a ringing sensation in your ears, while the knot in your stomach tightens painfully. Your thighs tremble, and with a desperate strength, your fingers dig into the soft pelt beneath you, clawing at it. Chanting his name in between heavy breaths, it becomes the sole word that occupies your pleasure-soaked mind. You come, pure white flooding into the darkness behind your eyes. A flood of warmth gushes from your core, which he eagerly laps up with a pleased groan, his diligent attention sharpening your peak and dragging it on for what seems like an eternity.

As awareness gradually returns, it is accompanied by the urgent press of his lips against yours. The sensation pulls you back into the present moment. Meeting the messy lip lock, your own taste fills your senses, rich and musty against your tongue. He emits an eager hum, filling your mouth with the warm rush of his breath. “You make such beautiful noises…” he begins with a shaky breath, “cute little whines and gasps. I want to hear more.”

Leaning flat above you, every breath makes your stomachs brush. His eyes are so hot, filled with a burning intensity that resurges the heat fading from between your thighs. In the flickering firelight, the entire lower half of his face glistens, moist and shiny, casting an alluring glow.

"W-what about you?" you stutter, summoning the courage to slide your hand down his abdomen, feeling the spasming flesh beneath your touch. As your fingers graze the boundary where alabaster skin transitions into tiny onyx scales, you venture into uncharted territory. The act fills your throat with a surge of anxiety, causing you to swallow heavily.

Your attention is drawn to a damp spot along his lap, where his dark scales gleam in the flickering light. As your fingertips glide over the smooth scales, they encounter a warm slickness. “Did I do that?” you inquire, a mix of curiosity and uncertainty lacing your words.

His muscles quiver beneath your touch, and he shakes his head in response. "No," he murmurs. "That's why I wanted to stop earlier."

Sitting up with his back against the wall, he gently guides you to sit on his lap. Looking up at you with a mix of nervousness and desire, his throat visibly bobs with anticipation. An arm wraps around the small of your back, providing a comforting and secure embrace, radiating warmth. His mouth repeatedly opens and closes, as if attempting to form words that never quite make it past his lips. His expression reveals a struggle to articulate his thoughts, leaving his words perpetually aborted.

“Is it my turn to explore?” you ask coyly, sliding your hand across his chest. Tracing the shuddering muscles of his abs with one hand, your other circles your thumb teasingly around the pink bud of his left nipple. He gasps, squirming into the touch.

“F-fuck,” he moans, breath escaping is a sharp gasp as you pinch the sensitive skin. Leaning forward, you lap a hot circle around the right bud, reveling in the shaky breath that shakes his form. His free hand closes around your upper arm in a desperate, frantic clasp.

“And you called me sensitive…” you hum teasingly, closing your lips around the bud. Sucking softly, the taste of his skin floods your senses, rich and masculine with a hint of salty sweat. He groans loudly above you, tugging on your arm with dazed desperation. His scent fills your nose, enveloping your senses with a distinctive blend of earthy musk, delicate notes of pine and sandalwood, and a lingering touch of comforting warm vanilla.

Your name escapes his lips in a low hush, his head lulling bonelessly back against the stone wall. Beneath you, his hips churn up between your spread thighs. More wetness surges, the scales beneath you becoming warm and slick. Your fingers slide curiously into the clear sticky mess, gathering it on the tips of your fingers. “Is- is this cum?” you ask, drinking in the embarrassed heat flushing high on his cheek bones.

“Not exactly,” he corrects you softly, peaking his tongue out to wet his lips. “It- It's more like yours.”

“How- how do-” you start hesitantly, staring down at the soaked scales between your thighs.

Taking your hand in his, guides your fingers along the scales right below his abdomen. “There,” he breathes, hips jolting up into the touch. “There's a slit, right there-” with a light pressure, he guides your fingers along a thin gap between his scales. The skin there is swollen and grey, leaking a thick trail of slick as it quivers beneath your touch.

“Here?” you breathe, heart hammering. Dipping your finger in, you watch as his eyes shutter closed. The little hole spasms frantically beneath your finger tip, practically gushing as you press the digit in, just to the first joint.

“Y-yeah,” he gasps, explaining unevenly. “There- there's a ring of muscles there, keeping my cock tucked away.”

Something soft and slick lurches beneath your fingertip. “You're holding it in?”

“Y-yeah,” he manages in a wheeze. His explanation escapes him in a rush, “It- it's different. I didn't want you to-”

“Show me,” you insist, looking hungry down at the wet little slit. Using your pointer finger and thumb, you spread the lips of it wide, revealing a rounded grey pucker that throbs beneath your heated gaze.

Hips bucking uncontrollably, a loud whine escapes his lips. Suddenly, there's a rippling spasm in the muscles of his abdomen and his cock slips out with a filthy slick sound. It slaps hard into his abdomen, leaving an oozing trail of slick across the pale skin, making it glisten tantalizingly in the firelight.

“You're so pretty,” you note in a mesmerized tone. It's a struggle not to call him cute. His cock is deep grey in tone and thick, so much so that it's a struggle to wrap your fingers around the base of him. The blunt head is equally thick, and as you stroke him softly the rounded flare of his tip peeks out from his foreskin with a more human-like tone. A deep, aching purplish red meets your gaze, the pinhole at the tip throbbing white that oozes down along the flare of the head and joins the slick coating the length.

"Don't—" he stammers, a deep blush spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. You can tell just from the way his fingers grip your thighs that he desperately wants to hide his face in embarrassment. "Don't call it that!" he protests.

“But it is,” you insist earnestly. You've never even seen a grown man’s dick before, much less touched one, but you know the truth in your heart. Stroking him down to the base, the oozing tip makes your mouth water.

The sight of him surges you with a renewed wave of heat. A sudden, agonizing ache fills the emptiness within you, intensifying the feeling of longing and yearning. All around you the coiled length of his tail spasms in pleasure, mirroring the tight quivering along his abs. His hips jolt in short abated thrusts, thoughtlessly meeting each of your rapid strokes. “T-tighter,” he gasps, shuddering as your thumb swipes curiously at the tip.

Instead, you scoot upward on your knees, slotting the length of him between your folds. “Fuck you’re so wet,” you gasp. Even with his cock out, the slit around the base of him is still oozing slick.

"It's messy," he utters nonsensically.

Rubbing back and forth the length of him, both of his hands quickly lock around your hips, pulling you to help the dizzying slide. Leaning forward, his lips catch yours in a shallow, heated kiss that sends your senses spiraling. A series of breathy kisses trace a path down the side of your neck, each one sending shivers of pleasure through your body. Eventually, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his hot tongue lapping softly at your pulse.

Rolling your hips, you watch in awe as the needy purple of his tip peaks out from your folds with every thrust. You're still puffy and sensitive from earlier, the stimulation already has the back of your head buzzing with pleasure. It gets messier and slicker between you, the rolling thrusts of your hips slide his cock between your folds- back, then forward- stimulating your clit with the head each time you fuck it along the length of your pussy.

“Ahh- shit,” he whines, jerkily beneath you. “Y-you're going to kill me. I'm not going to last...”

Slowing down, one swirling thrust makes the flare of his head catch breathtakingly along your entrance. An overwhelming surge of desire floods your senses, engulfing you in an intense craving. Your core aches with a relentless need, leaving you breathless. Tentatively, you ask, "Can we...?"

"Yes," he breathes the word against the sensitive skin of your neck, the sharp brush of his fangs adding a tantalizing sensation. His hips jolt in anticipation, and he pulls his head back from your neck, meeting your gaze with eyes filled with intense desire. "Please," he pleads, his voice filled with longing and need.

Worry fills your voice as you start, stumbling over your words. "Y-you mentioned... about mating season-"

He interrupts you, his tone reassuring yet determined. "My heat hasn't started yet. I can't bond out of season. I won't knot you." Beneath the words is a clear underlying implication of yet. Eyes dancing between your face and your thighs, he stutters, “I-if it's what you want, we can.”

“I want to,” you affirm determinedly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. As always, the sharp points of his fangs dig into your bottom lip, sending a thrilling shiver down your spine.

You can feel him smile against your lips. Wrapping a hand around himself with a soft clasp, he strokes it with several quick jerks. Wetness oozes from the tip, shiny and white. Pressing the head into your fluttering hole, his jaw falls open. “Oh,” he breathes, chest surging inward as if all the air has been punched from his lungs. The steady grip on your hip becomes shaky, his fingers trembling.

With a shaky breath, you lower yourself carefully onto him. The width of his tip spreads you wider than anything ever before. Your pussy is still stretched from his previous attention, but this stretch is so much more. Straining down, the fat tip presses past your ring of muscle with a soft pop.

“Shit,” Levi gasps, muscles twitching violently. The grip around your hips tightens. He looks down to where he's disappearing inside you with awe. “This- this doesn't hurt you?”

“It stings,” you admit tightly. His face twists, so you rush to sooth his concern. “Just a bit. It's already fading, don't worry.”

Taking a breath, you sink further onto his cock with several abated thrusts. With slick glistening all over your pussy and thighs and more still bubbling up from his base, the combined arousal makes the last thick portion of his base slip easily inside of you. “Shit,” you hiss, “You're so fucking deep.” It feels like you can taste him in the back of your throat.

Levi's eyes shift between you, fixated on the captivating sight before him. He appears mesmerized, unable to tear his gaze away. "Don't move until you're ready," he murmurs, his voice laced with a mix of tender concern and rough heat.

You sit as still as possible, willing your body to quickly adjust to the new sensations. The sheer awe on his face mesmerizes you, prompting you to ask, “How does it feel to you?”

“Tight. Hot. Wet. Shit,” he gawps open mouthed, throbbing hard inside of you. Judging by the tension in his body and the slight tremor in his muscles, he's struggling to remain composed. “I don't ever want to leave. You're so fucking soft.” His heated praise makes you clench involuntarily around him, causing his hips to jolt up despite his will. “Fuck! Don't do that,” he chastises you with a soft curse.

You let out a soft, understanding chuckle. The laughter causes the muscles inside you flutter involuntarily, tightening around the hot length stretching your walls. Face twisting, his hips jolt again. “Can't exactly control it,” you explain with a gentle smile.

You can tell that he’s struggling to hold still, his fingers tightening painfully into the skin at your hips. Clearly trying to distract himself, his eyes roam along your face, gauging your features. He asks, “W-what does it feel like to you?”

“It's a lot. I'm so full,” you start, voice trembling. You didn't think it'd feel so different. His cock is scorching hot inside you, throbbing with a burning heat. You think you can even feel the tip leaking. It's startling to realize that the most intimate and sensitive part of him has slipped within the most intimate and sensitive part of you. “I- I didn't realize it'd be so much. I can feel you twitching.” The burn around your entrance is starting to fade, pleasure beginning to throb deep within. “I think I can move now.”

In a long breath, he instructs you with a plea in his voice, "Slow... I don't think I'm going to last."

Knees pressing into the bedding, you raise your hips, allowing most of him to slip free from your grasp. Canting your hips forward, you drop back down with a groan. “Shit, Levi,” you gasp, repeating the movement. “F-fuck it's so good.”

It's perfect. The angle has his head dragging softly across your g-spot with every downward thrust. Thighs quivering, you work to set a rapid pace bouncing up and down on his cock.

“F-Fuck! Soft… you’re so soft!” he praises deliriously, his long tongue lapping along the pulse of your throat. “So fucking tight… It feels like you’re sucking me in.”

His fingers find your clit, working quick circles into the puffy bud. Every time you throb, a deep groan rumbles through his chest. As he gazes down at the shimmering slick mess where your bodies meet, his eyes burn with a dark and intense heat. “Look at that! You’re taking me so well,” he utters with a mix of awe and desire.

Following his gaze, you watch the inhumanly dark grey skin of his cock disappear between your folds again and again. The pool of slick around his base has become a frothing foaming mess, a sight that makes your mouth suddenly feel dry. The whirlwind of pleasure creates a kaleidoscope of dizzying colors within your mind, overwhelming your senses. The knot in your stomach tightens abruptly, causing a sharp, welcome pain.

As you bounce up and down, your knees creak in protest, straining against the movement. "L-Levi," you whine, your fingers instinctively gripping into the spasming flesh of his abdomen. "It's not enough. I... I can't..." Your words trail off, unable to articulate the yearning and desire for more that consumes you.

Groaning your name with a fevered heat, his hips work up into yours with a thoughtless, fevered tempo. The thinnest portion of his tail curls around your hips, aiding in pulling you harder down onto him, intensifying the connection. “Fuck… I can’t wait to mark you as mine,” he utters with a mixture of longing and possessiveness. “Fuck-fuck-fuck-” he chants nonsensically, features twisting tight in a way that almost looks like pain. Suddenly, his hips jerk up hard before stilling. His eyes roll back, a long shudder wracking his frame. A wet hot heat fills your pussy, so much that it leaks from around him as he continues to fill you with short, abated thrusts, pooling between your thighs in a large sticky mess.

Almost immediately, his erection fades, sliding out from you to tuck back within his slit. Dazed and lost in the depths of his peak, his eyes remain distant and foggy for several minutes. However, with a blink, awareness gradually filters back in, and his gaze fixates on the visible signs of your exertion—your heaving chest and trembling thighs. A worried frown appears on his face as he hesitantly gestures vaguely between your thighs.

"Y-you didn't..." he starts, his voice quiet and embarrassed.

"It's fine," you interject, leaning forward to plant a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. You appreciate how dazed and flushed he looks, finding it endearing. "I already did once, remember?" you remind him.

He stops, looking down at his hands with a deep scowl. The claws on his right hand have already grown back, curving upward in long sharp points. Grumbling unhappily, he sighs, working a soothing circling into the still quivering meat of your thigh.

Suddenly, a noticeable shift occurs in his gaze, and you observe the return of a fiery heat in his charcoal grey orbs. It's evident that gears are turning in his mind as he contemplates something. The tip of his tail rises, winding its way up the length of your left leg. As it draws closer, it tantalizingly skims the still-wet crease of your thigh, sending shivers of anticipation through your body.

"I have an idea," he declares, his voice taking on a dark and ominous tone. The combination of his intense gaze, the suggestive touch of his tail, and his cryptic words stirs a mixture of curiosity and excitement within you, leaving you eager to discover what he has in store.

"Y-yeah?" you squeak, your voice betraying a mix of anticipation and nervousness. Your eyes remain fixated on his midnight-toned scales as they coil tightly around your left thigh. The tip dips in between your thighs, gathering slickness before pressing into your hole. The blunt tip is wide, a bit girthier than the head of his cock had been. It presses into you, the tip just barely sliding past the rim of your still aching pussy. “Fuck, Levi! Oh my god!”

“To much?” he asks, watching your face for any signs of upset. The dexterous limb fills you with a series of slow, heavy thrusts, quickly reigniting the heat that had only just begun fading.

“No- It's- Don't stop!” you gasp, churning your hips. It's so wide, the portion at which he stops feeding it into you has to be more than four of your fingers combined. The sensation is exhilarating as his scales brush against the soft, delicate walls. They're rough, yet smooth, all the little groves dragging against your insides with every measured thrust. Fingers scrambling up to dig your nails into his biceps, you beg, “F-faster! Faster, please!”

Smirking, he immediately follows your plea, filling you with quick, equally hard thrusts that wrack your frame. With every one, the rough texture curves inward, sliding deliciously against the sensitive patch of skin along your front wall. “You like that?” he asks, “I can feel you throbbing. Are you going to come around me?”

Dazed, you can almost imagine that it's still his cock that's filling you so urgently. Nodding bonelessly, all you can do is gasp and hold on. “Yeah- I'm- Levi i'm-”

Your words abruptly cease as a blinding white light engulfs your vision anew. A scream escapes your lips, but it is drowned out by the deafening roar echoing in your ears. Your muscles convulse uncontrollably, as if all the air is forcefully expelled from your lungs in one breath. The knot in your stomach tightens, far surpassing its previous intensity, and you reach an unimaginable climax. Your pussy pulses, throbbing heavily around the thrusting length in a new, overwhelming wave of pleasure. In a long, breathless wheeze, his name escapes your lips. Then, overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure, darkness descends upon you.

When you regain consciousness, you find yourself lying on your side, nestled against Levi's chest. He holds you tightly, whispering soothingly into your hair. His tail envelops you completely, providing a secure and comforting embrace. Levi's gentle touch grazes through your hair, lightly caressing the back of your head with a sharp hint of his claws.

As you regain your composure, your breathing gradually steadies, yet your heart continues to race, its rapid beat echoing in your ears. In contrast, Levi's heartbeat beneath your ear remains calm and steady, lulling you into a sense of tranquility. Overwhelmed by exhaustion, your own heart begins to synchronize with his rhythm, and your eyelids grow heavy. Eventually, you succumb to sleep, surrendering to the peaceful embrace.

#levi ackerman #naga!Levi #levi ackerman smut #n.sfw #levi x reader #levi/reader #levi ackerman x reader #tw; snakes #tw; monsterfucking #levi x reader smut

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sungbeam · 1 year

Text

OFF THE RECORD ▷ PART TWO (EP9-17)

nonidol!ji changmin x fem!reader

everyone thinks ji changmin is cute and harmless, but you know that's not who he really is.

▷ genre, part warnings. e2l, childhood friends gone bad, (extra) slow burn, fluff, angst, crying lol, mentions of childhood trauma and parental manipulation, arguing, bittersweet galore, nct ten is there for the sole purpose of being nosy like the rest of us or for being a 2nd male lead who knows!, swearing, hurt/comfort, kissing!, ji changmin dancing (need i go on), symptoms of panic/anxiety, a lot of non-tbz moments sorry i meant it when i said extra slow burn, im literally writing abt people who dance like gods but im a plebian w two left feet i have no idea what im looking at except for hips—, pining haha...ha (more subtle until the end), he's in a bathrobe near the end sorry children

▷ PART TWO WC. 17.6k

love in unity series m.list / otr part one

a/n: if u haven't read part one GO AWAY GO READ PART ONE ??? WHAT'RE U DOING HERE

EPISODE NINE: OFF THE AIR

IT was common knowledge that the week before finals week was referred to as the dreaded Dead Week. Campus was barren, coffee shops and libraries were packed, and almost everybody lived in some variation of sweats, hoodies, and eye bags. You were actually holed up in the research lab (yes, again) because your deadline to get this paper to your graduation advisor was literally looming over your shoulder, and though you were practically done, you were too paranoid of not catching some dumb typo before you turned it in.

Plus, the coffee in the lab break room was free and sponsored by your resident graduate student supervisor, and beloved older brother figure, Qian Kun. God rest his workaholic soul and empty pockets.

There weren't many people here this afternoon; most had retreated to their own homes or offices or wherever they dwelled during the Week of the Dead.

Then there was Ten.

"So do you guys just wither away here by yourselves?" Amongst the empty workbenches, his words seemed to unnecessarily resonate. From his perch in Kun's office, he spread his arms wide to gesture to all the empty space.

Kun pressed his fingers to the space between his eyes. "Yes, now let me wither in peace."

"No, I don't think I will."

You felt yourself smile. Ten had come in a few hours ago with lunch for both you and Kun. Supposedly, when he had heard that the two of you habitually ran on only coffee and dreams during Dead Week, he took it upon himself to swing by the nearest fast food restaurant and pick up a very belated lunch for you both. You’d chomped down on it with Kun in his office, but as soon as you were done, you retreated back to your desk.

The sky outside of the research laboratory was already beginning to bruise to a gray-blue-purple, the color of a dusty blueberry. Soon, you would have to surrender yourself to the night and head back home, but hopefully before that, you would decide that you were at least too tired to continue staring at these same seventeen pages for hours on end…

All three heads perked up at the sound of the laboratory building door opening and closing in the distance. None of you were exactly expecting anyone, especially when people usually indicated when they would come into work. You craned your neck from your workbench to see who had come in—

“I’ll only be a minute,” you heard and recognized your colleague Jacob Bae as he strode in from the outside corridor and into the main laboratory floor.

He met your eyes and smiled. “Hey, Yn.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

He let out a sigh as he jogged past your desk and headed toward a cupboard in the back corner. “I forgot that I left my—” His voice cut out as he ducked into the dark cupboard and withdrew a giant plastic tub. From the plastic innards filled with paper, he fished out a specific packet of paper shoved into a flimsy manila folder. “Forgot my thesis draft.”

You coughed out a laugh. “Dude.”

His grin was innocent and boyish, standard Jacob. “What? A guy’s gonna forget some things sometimes.”

“Is that what you tell your girlfriend?”

He sent you an unimpressed look. “Ha ha, Yn. Very funny. For your information, she’s more forgetful than me sometimes.” He stuck his tongue out at you as he passed by your workbench, and you, as the very mature person you were, stuck your tongue out back at him. It was only fair.

A cough sounded out from the entrance to the laboratory, and you turned your head to find Changmin, out of all people, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Peering out from behind the corner of the wall, however, was his friend Sunwoo from that other night. And yanking Sunwoo back behind the wall was Chanhee. Strange.

Someone (you suspected Chanhee) gave Changmin a firm shove into the laboratory, sending the latter stumbling in before he caught himself and regained his balance. He was swaddled in a dark colored puffer jacket and a red scarf, his red-tipped nose and cheeks bitten by the cold. For the first time, he looked smaller than he was, almost shy or nervous. You hadn’t encountered this Changmin in a long time.

He wasn’t one to look vulnerable out in the open like this.

As Jacob passed by Changmin, he clasped his shoulder in reassurance.

“Hi,” Changmin said slowly as he approached your workbench.

You were still a little dumbfounded that he was here again. “Uh, hi. What’re you doing here?” The argument the two of you had earlier in the week replayed in your mind, and you almost grimaced. You’d both said even more hurtful things, and you supposed you had just been so sensitive that your brain just automatically went into defense mode to protect yourself.

No, you hadn’t been there that night for him. You hadn’t expected to see anyone there at that time of night. That was the whole point of you going so late. You had been trying to get yourself to go into the practice room on your own, but the longer you had stood there, staring at the door, the more you realized you couldn’t do it. It still didn’t sit well with you, how affected you were by your mother’s past words.

Changmin kept his distance, but he came close enough that you could hear what he was trying to say without the others listening in too much. “I was wondering if we could talk.”

You blinked. “Talk? Like right now?” Your eyes darted to your computer screen and the practically finished paper displayed. It wasn’t like you wanted to keep working on it, but your heart beat startled at the sudden thought of having that very important conversation right now, when you weren’t ready.

He caught onto your movements though. “No, no—I mean,” he stammered, recovering with a quick swipe of his tongue over his lip, “just whenever. It doesn’t have to be now. I just figured it’d be best to get that… out in the air, you know?” I think it’s what we’ve been needing all this time. Something proper; no more yelling matches.

For a second, you thought you could see some of the old Changmin in this one. It wasn’t like he had changed, per se, it was more like he was finally showing that part of himself that you had been missing all along. You swallowed, nodding. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll, uhm, text you sometime tonight after I turn this paper in.”

He nodded back at you. “Yeah, cool.”

When you saw him begin to back away, a thought suddenly occurred to you. You called out to him to get him to stop, and you could have sworn that there was a gleam in his eyes then. “Changmin—about Sumin…” You inhaled deeply as you fought for the right words to express your next thoughts, “be gentle with her, okay?”

Even then there was a pang in your heart as you uttered those words. Sumin had texted you all about her interaction with Changmin a day or so ago regarding his “interview”, and she had been gushing about her crush on him. She had even asked you how much you knew about him and if you could give her a crash course in all things dance or even Changmin. Suffice to say, you felt trapped between a rock and hard place, but you didn’t want to let her down. (You’d always wanted to be a big sister; you didn’t want to push her away because of feelings that you were too petty to address.)

Changmin’s head tilted to the side as he made a confused face. “Huh?”

You sighed, “You seriously didn’t notice?”

“No, actually,” he quipped.

You pursed your lips; why weren’t you surprised? It wouldn’t be very cool of you to reveal Sumin’s crush on him if that wasn’t what she wanted. You would have to be subtle, but also not subtle, then. “Just—” you made a vague gesture with your hands, “—don’t be brash.”

“Brash?”

“Don’t be mean,” you amended.

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You thought even Ten rolled his eyes from where he was in Kun’s office. “You’re hopeless, really.”

Changmin’s face pinched, and he was moving back closer to your workbench. “I’ll have you know that we’re both hopeless.”

You deadpanned. “Now I’m pretty sure we’re not even in the same ballpark,” you muttered in exasperation. “Whatever. Your friends are waiting for you, Changmin.”

His lips pressed into a line. He glanced quickly over his shoulder where his friends were pretending to not be eavesdropping, then looked back at you. “Okay, yeah. Just don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” you promised.

EPISODE TEN: OFF THE MARKET

CHANGMIN glanced up at the entrance to the coffee shop, matching the sign in the window to the one he had searched up on his GPS app. It seemed to match from what he saw.

Today was the Friday of Dead Week, a handful of days after he dipped out of his interview with Sumin and confronted you at the laboratory. He had consulted Chanhee that day, regarding his mess of feelings about the situation with you, and Chanhee had practically forced him to go with him and Jacob to the laboratory. (Sunwoo just happened to tag along because he, apparently, felt left out.) Changmin wondered how Chanhee could have possibly known that you would be there, but Chanhee dismissed his worries by assuring him that after he asked you, he would feel a lot better and less like a hot pile of shit.

Chanhee was right, as per usual. Not that Changmin was going to admit that aloud to him ever.

But today was important because of two things in particular, and they both had to do with things that occurred several days ago. The first item on the agenda was going into this cafe to finish up that un-started interview with Sumin. After he had given her his number that day, she was swift to send a greeting text to him to set up a time and place to meet. Changmin actually had yet to visit this coffee shop in particular, but then again, he was a bit partial to the one Jacob introduced to the group last quarter.

Your words of advice, or caution, rang in his ears like the bell that twinkled above the door as he walked into the building. Be gentle with her. Don’t be brash. Don’t be mean. What did all of that even mean? He liked being interviewed, especially when it was about dance, so why would you think he would be anything but well-behaved? Part of him thought it was based off of the two of your interactions for the past three years, but he knew you had the good sense to know he didn’t treat just anyone like he treated you.

The thought remained fresh in his mind even as he scanned the room for a familiar face.

Sumin was seated in a secluded booth in the corner of the coffee shop. When she saw him, she waved him over excitedly, slipping her compact into her purse. Her laptop was left on the table in front of her, but unopened. Huh, maybe she just got here, too.

Changmin slid into the booth across from her. “Hi, sorry, were you waiting long?” He asked as he shouldered his jacket off and set his bag on top of it.

Sumin perked up a little bit. “Oh, no! Don’t worry. Did you have a good week?”

“Ah, as good as the week before finals can be, I suppose,” he chuckled, leaning back against the booth seat. His eyes darted to the unopened laptop still in the middle of the table and he cupped the back of his neck. “Did you wanna order anything to drink? Or have you ordered already?”

She shook her head, her hand reaching up to fidget with the end of one of her curled locks of hair. “Hm? No, I didn’t order yet! I was waiting for you so we could order something together—I mean, at the same time.”

“Cool, yeah,” he cleared his throat, signaling for one of the workers’ attention with a wave of his hand. “We can order and then get started.”

“Ah, ha, right.”

Once orders were taken, Sumin finally cracked open her laptop and got a couple things set up. Changmin patiently waited for her to get all settled, his eyes wandering about the shop and absentmindedly observing the workers behind the counter as they bustled about to prepare drinks and pastries.

Sumin coughed, “Okay, I figured that recording is a little unnecessary, so I’ll just be jotting some notes down on my laptop.”

Changmin bobbed his head. “Sounds good.”

She shifted in her seat, her posture straightening, as she figured out how exactly to start. “I hope you’ll be patient with me since I haven’t been doing this for a long time, but Yn gave me some pointers to start with,” she said sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No problem! I totally understand; take your time.” He cocked his head to the side unconsciously, “Yn didn’t offer to sit in for your interviews?”

“Oh! Uh, she did, but I insisted that I was feeling confident enough to do them on my own,” she laughed lightly. “Definitely a bit nerve-wracking, but I think the interviews with Juyeon and a few of the other dancers went well earlier in the week.”

“Hey, I mean, I admire your courage,” he said with what he hoped was an encouraging enough smile. “Just take your time with it, Sumin. We’ll make sure to get you all the info you need.” There. Was that what you meant by not being mean? Wasn’t this just being considerate, though?

His foot tapped against the ground absentmindedly as he thought about the next thing on his agenda after this interview: talking to you. It was weird, having to almost set an appointment to have this very needed talk, but as you had said, you texted him your availability and the two of you just happened to both have this evening free. He just needed to finish this interview… There was still plenty of time.

His words to Sumin seemed to make her shoulders relax a little bit, and she jumped right into her first question. Changmin would answer as thoughtfully as could, which wasn’t too difficult seeing as he was literally talking about one of the things he was most passionate about in this world. He could probably talk about dance and his love for dance for days on end. Sumin, in turn, would skillfully and naturally continue the conversation so it felt a lot less like an interview, and more like an interaction between friends about dance.

Perhaps he didn’t even realize when the questions became less about his experience about dance and more about him; when Sumin gradually stopped typing notes down on her laptop and instead leaned her chin onto her hands to watch him; or when she suddenly asked—

“Is that your ideal first date then?”

Record scratch.

The words on Changmin’s tongue died instantly, and his brain scrambled to process what she had just said. “Sorry?”

Sumin’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushing. “I—I mean, you were talking about going to see live dance shows with your former partner and I just…” She shook her head with an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, was that too forward?”

Changmin blinked once, twice; dear god, he must have been running his mouth without even realizing. “I was talking about Yn?”

That ripped Sumin right out of embarrassment—well, it was closer to mortification. The color on her cheeks had turned pale. “Yn is your ex?”

Fuck— “No, no, no! She’s not. She’s definitely not—”

Sumin covered her face with both of her palms in distress, a sentiment that was definitely shared between both parties in the booth. “Oh my god, and I’ve been telling her all about my crush on you, too. I must have looked so stupid.”

His eyes flew open. “Huh?!”

“Please, I’ve been so obvious, Changmin!”

Not to me, he thought. Jesus, was he really so blind? Was this what you meant this whole time? Changmin waved his hands around in an X formation, trying to reign the conversation into some level of sanity. “Sumin, I can assure you, that you definitely weren’t obvious until you literally just said it,” he began. “And so we’re clear, Yn is not my ex-girlfriend. She was my ex-dance partner and friend, but not a significant other.” As much as it sucked to admit that—

Sumin slowly lowered her hands from her face with the light reflected in her eyes wobbling. “Oh… okay, I guess that makes sense then.”

Changmin let out a haggard sigh, holding his hand to his head. “Yeah, well… I guess I should say that I’m sorry, but I don’t really share the same feelings for you?” He shook his head to himself, trying to rephrase: “What I mean is that I’m not exactly looking for a relationship. I’m kind of messed up right now.” Understatement of the century.

She pursed her lips, but nodded. “I get that. Thanks for being so cool about it.”

“Least I can do,” he said, clasping his hands together over the table.

“So,” she drawled with a wince, “I take it this interview is over?”

He brushed a hand through his hair. “If you have everything you need and there are no hard feelings?”

She inclined her head in the affirmative, and that was that.

— ✶

Even on a Friday evening, if it was the week before an exam season, the library study rooms were always packed, one occupier after the other. Attempting to score one was the equivalent of launching a stakeout, complete with charging cables, two cups of coffee, and a will of steel (to wait hours for a room to open up). Someone must have been looking out for you though as you managed to snatch a study room as soon as you arrived on the second floor of one of the main student libraries on campus. When you and Changmin had exchanged an, albeit brief, bit of texts, you both agreed that meeting somewhere that could serve as common ground would be good for the both of you. It had to be semi-private, as well, since neither of you wanted to let anyone else in on your private, personal problems.

The library study rooms were your solution, and maybe this was the universe’s sign that this discussion needed to happen.

As soon as the door closed gently behind you, you set yourself up in one of the chairs around the small, rectangular table at the center of the room. Changmin said he would be a couple minutes late because the bus had been late to pick up his stop and Chanhee was borrowing his car, so you texted him to let him know which room you were in.

While you waited, you attempted to ease your mind by scrolling through social media and flipping through emails and returning to social media, and wait, did you ever get a reply back from that one TA? All the while, your knee would bounce up and down ceaselessly, your fingers shaking and cold and numb. You were perhaps seconds away from your throat closing in on itself again, but then the door opened.

Changmin murmured a “hey” to you as he closed the door behind him and lowered himself into the seat across from you.

The room was quiet. “Hey,” you said back, clearing your throat.

You watched as his nostrils flared slightly as he exhaled. “What did you mean by ‘when did I stop caring’?”

You were a little startled that he decided to start right away, but on the other hand, relieved that he did. You wouldn’t have known how to begin anyway. “When did you stop caring?” You parroted in case you hadn’t heard him right. If you weren’t mistaken, he was referring to what you had said that night in front of the practice rooms.

He gave a nod. “Yeah, I was thinking about what you said…” He scratched his jaw, continuing lowly, “...y’know, on the bus ride over here. And I just don’t understand where in the world you got the idea that I ever stopped caring about you.” He met your eyes then, and you could see the tightness in his jaw, but the gleam in his irises.

This wasn't about being right anymore; it was about making things right.

"You—" you grappled for words, finding yourself pinned down by Changmin's relentlessly piercing gaze, "—I just got so much radio silence from you."

"You were giving me the same excuses."

"Because it was the same, exact problem," you fired back. "And, okay, so they were excuses, but god, Changmin. I could just see how with each passing day, you looked at me differently because I was late or I told you I couldn't make it. Didn't I give you reasons why? Just that disappointment and cold shoulder…" It broke my damn heart.

Changmin's arms were crossed over his chest as he considered your words, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. "I never," he began, "thought poorly of you, Yn." It sounded like he was struggling to piece together the right words, too, and he choked down a swallow. "I was going through a lot of shit around that time, and my patience was always paper thin by the time it was our usual practice time, y'know? It was never you specifically I was mad at."

He paused for a moment. His head hung, and he picked at a stray thread on his jacket cuff. "My parents said they wouldn't support me if I majored in dance."

Your heart stopped clean.

"They basically said I'd have to finance myself for all four years if I wanted to make dancing a career," he said with a flippant, helpless gesture. "I was given some scholarship money from the school, but it was nowhere near a full ride. So I was stressed the fuck out because I knew I needed to win those comps to get more money. They were cool with me dancing as, like, a hobby or a way to get into college, but as soon as I told them my intended major was dance?"

Well, shit.

Horror pooled in your gut, the kind that started up at your shoulders and spider-crawled down the length of your spine. "I'm so sorry, Changmin. That must have been so much pressure for you, oh my god."

This entire time, you'd been under the impression that his parents were fine and dandy with their son becoming a dancer. He'd always had a natural, prodigal talent for the art form. He was the absolute cream of the crop from your class, and you couldn't believe they could be anything but proud of having a son like him.

But you supposed you shouldn't have assumed. There was a cost to being a hypocrite.

Changmin nodded, but it wasn't very affirming. It was like he had heard it all before and had already accepted it all grimly and reluctantly. "Yeah, well… I won all those comps, but what did I lose in the process, y'know?"

He gestured to you. "I just thought I'd always have you to run back to, but you were going through your own stuff. I'm not trying to pin the blame on you—it's… just that… you were my best friend. My partner."

"It's funny you say that," you said then, drumming your fingers anxiously against your leg. "I thought I could rely on you, too. And I definitely drifted away from you, but it was because of my own reasons."

Changmin nodded, settling his hands on top of the table and leaning in slightly.

Still, every time you told someone, you could never get it right. But maybe you could get it right this time. "You know how my parents got divorced and I said that my mom had changed?"

His forehead creased then, and he nodded again.

"She started yelling a lot," you said. "Would always make me listen to her scream in my face about how dance was useless, how dance would never help me in the real world, how I was absolutely awful at it and that I should be focusing on something worth my time." You swallowed, continuing on, "And when I told you I couldn't make it or that I was late, it was because she started refusing to take me to practices and competitions and shows.

"And I mean—I tried really hard to keep going, Changmin, I really did." You raised your eyes to meet his and found him staring at you still, but this time you saw that glisten in his eyes again. The tension in his jaw had slackened, and had been replaced with that same dread you had while he was telling you what happened to him. "I thought that I could get past what my mom kept telling me, and that once I got to the practice room—I just needed to get to the practice room—it would all be worth it."

There was a stinging feeling in the back of your eyes, at your tear glands. Your vision was blurring and you blinked back the traitorous tears.

Changmin pursed his lips, his face contorting slightly as he too tried to contain the emotions welling up in him. "And then I shut you out."

"We shut each other out."

"Why—" he rasped, his hand coming up to cover part of his mouth, "—didn't you tell me? I would've—god, I would've—" He didn't know, actually, but all he knew was that he would've been better. Would he have though? Truly? Would you have?

"I didn't like talking about it," you confessed, sniffling. You were ashamed of yourself, both then and now. You raised your hand up to wipe the corner of your eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, fuck, don't apologize." He stood, arms opening and palms turning upward like an offering, "C'mere."

Both of you, teary-eyed messes, stumbled out of your chairs to close the distance in each other's arms. It was the feeling of finally holding each other after three years that made the two of you break down completely. The study room's quiet was filled with sounds of messy, blubbering sobs—hands grappling at the other's jacket, faces shoved into the warmth of a neck or shoulder.

Two pieces of a puzzle having finally been reunited.

This was where you belonged.

"This was all I wanted," you bawled into his shoulder.

It seemed to make his body tremble harder. "I would've given it to you—god, I would've given you anything. I'm so goddamn sorry."

"Hey," you mused half-heartedly, "if I'm not allowed to apologize, then neither are you."

He gave a watery chuckle. "Okay, fine." His wet eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes and tightened his hold around you. "That must have been awful, Yn. How…? Just how."

You rested your cheek against his toned shoulder. "Somehow… I don't really know. I'm proud of you, though, you know? I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you. I'm proud of you, too." He sniffled, mouth pressing against your shoulder. "All this time, I thought you hated dance and hated me."

"Oh, god no," you sniffled, sucking in a breath. "I—I knew I couldn't be strong anymore; I didn't want to disappoint you." And when you could no longer attend those practices, you had believed it would be better to not be there to drag him down. You thought that without having to wait on you every time, he would have been all the better. You see now that perhaps you were wrong in your logic.

For a moment, the two of you stood there in the other's arms as words settled and feelings sunk in. The realization that this tension between the two of you was possibly over now was crazy.

"For the record," Changmin murmured, "you're a great dancer. No matter what your mom told you, you'll always be a great dancer."

You laughed a little, shaking your head. "Not anymore, I'm not."

"That's where you're wrong." He pulled away from you and you saw the tears staining his dimpled cheeks, but the smile he was giving you was something out of a dream. He gently, playfully punched your arm. "You're still my partner, after all."

EPISODE ELEVEN: OFF THE SHELF

EVER since Changmin, Chanhee, JC!Yn, and her roommate Kei decided to change the weekly grocery shopping session to Saturday mornings, Changmin had never been so grateful for such a change until now. It used to be on Sunday mornings during the fall quarter because JC!Yn volunteered at the local children’s club on Saturday mornings, but since the Sunny Side Up Club had begun closing its doors on the weekend until summer break, her Saturdays had suddenly freed up.

Kei, as usual, had waltzed off in search of her own shopping list items, leaving JC!Yn and Changmin with the shopping cart of groceries and Chanhee sitting in the middle of it, cross-legged and swaddled in a pink hoodie.

“That’s awful,” JC!Yn lamented as she slowly trailed after Changmin while pushing the cart. There was a frown etched into her face, as well as Chanhee’s, while and after Changmin had caught them up on the events of the previous day’s talk with you. “I mean, I know some parents are super strict about their kids studying, but…” She shook her head, “You’ve both been through a terrible amount of shit, man.”

Chanhee nodded his agreement, peering up at Changmin who was at the helm of the cart, staring at the label on a container of canned corn blankly. “Yeah, for sure. How’re you holding up, Changminnie?”

Changmin shrugged half-heartedly and rather mopey. “As well as I could be.”

“Well, are you guys good now?” JC!Yn asked. “Y’know, after clearing all the air?”

Changmin made a face at the canned corn, but handed it to Chanhee to place amongst the other things in the cart with him. “I mean, kind of? Not really?” He scratched the side of his head, and his two friends looked on at him, then exchanged worried glances. Usually Changmin was the one cracking jokes, but to see him in such a state… “It’s just a little awkward now because we’ve been on ice around each other for years. Going back to normal shouldn’t be easy, should it?”

Chanhee pursed his lips, his head tilting from side to side. “That’s true. When you guys were still in grudge era, you let all the angst between you do the talking.”

“Angst? I was not angsty, for your information.”

Both of his companions scoffed their disagreement. “Every single time her name was brought up around you, you gazed far off like some kind of angsty main hero,” Chanhee retorted. “Like Kevin at that one dinner when we were interrogating Eric.”

JC!Yn laughed. “That feels like so long ago.”

Changmin sent her a look, the corner of his lips tilting upward like the arch of his eyebrow. “That’s because you and Jacob act like you’ve been married for ten years.”

Her face heated at those words, but she held her chin up in pride. “I’m gonna pretend this is your jealousy talking.”

“Oh, please,” he quipped back and turned back to the shelves to hunt for any other familiar labels that would trigger his hunger. “If I wanted to be so grossly in love—”

“Then you’d go find Yn?”

“—Then I’d go find Y—HEY!” Changmin sputtered as his cheeks lit up like the can of roasted red bell peppers in his hand. Chanhee and JC!Yn exploded into equal fits of delighted cackles, the former extending his arm back so the latter could return his fistbump. Changmin scowled through his flustered haze. “Whatever; taking advantage of my vulnerable state is not cool, guys.”

Chanhee beamed up at his best friend with the kind of smile that no one could be mad at. It was impish, adorable even. “Aw, it’s only ‘cause we love you.”

“Gross,” Changmin muttered, wrinkling his nose dramatically, then nudging his glasses up his nose.

As she stopped the cart behind Changmin, JC!Yn rested her arm against the bar and let her chin sit atop her fist as she and Chanhee watched Changmin scour the shelves again. “Didn’t you say you had feelings for her back then, Changmin-ah? Would you say they were still present or not?”

He sucked in a breath at the question as he let the question marinate in his brain. After yesterday’s world-altering talk with you, neither of you were able to stay too long afterward to catch up. You’d both, unfortunately, been called to your own separate summons. But this morning, when Changin had woken up with the information having been properly processed in his brain and given him room to overthink as he did… Truthfully, he had no idea where the two of you stood with one another. It wasn’t going to be the same, not like childhood and not like the past three years.

He didn’t exactly know what to say to you now, only that there was still that emptiness in his chest. He hadn’t expected the feeling to go away, but he also hadn’t expected it to remain. What was he supposed to do? He was pretty sure you didn’t even like him like that back then, so there was no way your feelings would have changed in that sense over the past three years. Some said that distance made the heart grow fonder, and while Changmin wasn’t one for cliche lines, he did feel an ache for you. He wanted to make up for lost time. Even if you didn’t feel the same way he had back then, it didn’t mean that he still felt the same… right?

“I think we lost him,” came Chanhee’s very loud stage whisper.

Changmin shook out of his mind and leveled a glare at his two friends. “I’ll think about it.”

“Didn’t you just think about it?”

“Hey, if JC!Yn-ie can take an entire quarter to tell Jacob-ssi her feelings, then you can give me like, five minutes to think about mine!” He squawked, waving his arms around in the air like one of those car-wash balloon people that flopped around in the wind. Except this one was high on emotions and his round lenses were slipping down his nose, adding to his overall mad man-like look.

JC!Yn deadpanned, shaking her head as she began pushing the cart after Changmin. She muttered under her breath, “He’s just astounded that he has feelings for someone, JC!Yn. Let him be touchy today.”

Chanhee, who had heard her speak to herself loud and clear, twisted around to grin and pat her arm reassuringly. “He’s just malfunctioning because he might actually have a chance now.”

“I can hear you!”

Chanhee chuckled, and the sound was villainous.

The three of them, as per routine, met up with Kei at the checkout lanes. There was one occasion where one of the workers was so tired that they tried to scan Chanhee and make them pay for him, but other than that, most people just offered him a sweet from the jar on the counter. As groceries were bagged up, and Kei was caught up on the situation at hand in verbal bullet point format, she took only a moment to suggest: “Why don’t you invite her to the dance showcase?”

All eyes went to Changmin, even as JC!Yn pushed the cart out with the group.

Changmin chewed his bottom lip. “I would, but... I dunno. I don’t want to trigger anything for her.” He winced to himself, “It would be really cool to have her there, of course! But I literally saw her in the practice room a week ago and she looked like she was seconds away from having a full-on panic attack.” As much as inviting you to watch him perform for the first time in three years thrilled him (and nearly sent him into cardiac arrest), he had seen you that day—blanched, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t imagine just what thoughts were running through your head then, especially after hearing what you had told him yesterday.

He was so—god, he was so angry at your mother. He knew about the divorce and the negative effect it had on her, but for her to practically take all that energy out on you? It was something simply unforgivable. His heart hurt for you.

Chanhee dipped his head in a slight nod, mouth curved down into a frown again. "That's fair. But I mean, it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?"

"I just don't want to come off as insensitive, especially after three years of the cold shoulder." Your words from yesterday had penetrated him deeply—he hoped to never make you feel abandoned ever again.

Kei peered around at Changmin from the other side of JC!Yn. "If it counts, I don't think she'll take it as being insensitive, Changmin."

"She might feel better about getting, y'know, a personal invitation from you," JC!Yn chimed in. "Even if she isn't comfortable with going, she'll know you're thinking of her."

Changmin pressed his knuckles to his lips, bouncing on the balls of his feet anxiously. It was amusing, and perhaps a little concerning, for his friends to see him like this. He flapped the ends of his sweater sleeves in the air like he was hyping himself up. "Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll invite her to see me perform."

He raised an arm into the air toward the sky. "The next time I see her, that's what I'll—"

"Oh, look, she's right there," said Chanhee, pointing in the distance from his cart throne.

Changmin squeaked, "She's what?!" He slid behind JC!Yn in a very poor attempt to hide himself from the oncoming party.

Said party consisted of you, Yeri, Mark, and Ten—again. Except, instead of the coffee shop across the shopping mall, it was the parking lot on his friends' turf. Mark and Yeri were the first to see Changmin's friend group, both of them making unsubtle glances at Changmin. They passed by with friendly greetings, excusing themselves as they argued over the possibility of the store having watermelon (the answer was no; sorry Mark).

You and Ten lagged behind slightly, seemingly deep in conversation. The latter listened intently, but he felt eyes on him and looked up. His eyes twinkled as he made eye contact with Changmin—Changmin couldn't tell whether or not he liked that feeling.

You realized that he was looking outward and onward, and so you followed his gaze. Your eyes widened a tad at the sight of Changmin's friend group manifesting out of nowhere. "Hi guys," you said with an awkward smile when you and Ten met them in the middle.

"Hi Yn-ie," Chanhee giggled, turning around to wag his eyebrows at Changmin.

Changmin threw back a very unimpressed scowl. He let a smile grace his face just as he looked back at you. "Hey Yn, Ten."

JC!Yn unsubtly began pushing the cart to uncover Changmin. "Hey, you two. Changmin was actually just talking about you, Yn!"

Traitor! Changmin's jaw dropped.

Ten grinned. "That's really funny, 'cause Yn was just talking about you, Changmin."

You glared daggers at your friend with the same level of betrayal in your eyes as Changmin expressed. At least you were both getting thrown under the bus.

Kei nudged him. "Don't you have something to say to her?"

"We'll get out of your hair!" Chanhee chirped, patting the side of the cart as JC!Yn resumed her pushing on the cart past you and Ten. "See you at the car, Changminnie!"

As Changmin's last line of defense walked away with JC!Yn and the shopping cart prince, Ten inclined his head to you. "Should I stick around for this?"

You sighed under your breath. "Probably not. I'll see you inside?"

"Whatever suits your fancy," he mused, shrugging. As he passed by Changmin, he winked, then whistled some random tune as he went on his merry way.

"So what's up?" You asked him then. It seemed to be a cozy morning for you as you fidgeted with the ends of your big, woolen sweater. There was something delicate about the way the corners of your lips curled up into a smile.

Changmin cupped the nape of his neck. "Oh, uh, I know we had that whole talk yesterday, and I was wondering if you'd wanna come see my performance at the winter showcase on Friday?" He added quickly, "No pressure, of course. If you're uncomfortable, then you don't have to worry."

Your lips pursed together in a slight pucker. "I'd actually love to go. I mean—" you swallowed, "—I haven't gone to one since freshman year, but I'd love to."

"You can leave whenever you start feeling uncomfortable," he assured you, but he was smiling widely now. "It'll be cool to, y'know, have you in the audience."

"That means a lot, Changmin," you said earnestly, your smile sweet. It was almost weird to not have you frowning or glaring at him. It felt… good. It felt really good. “I will try my best.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets as he rocked on his heels, teeth biting down on his bottom lip to suppress the eager grin threatening to come out. “That’s all I could ask for.”

EPISODE TWELVE: OFF THE CHARTS

YOU were late. You were extremely late, actually, and to be honest, if you had known the bus was going to break down in the middle of the stupid road, you would have gotten off and walked. But then again, you were practically buried in all of the bundles of flowers you wanted to bring for your friends performing tonight. There were four bundles in total that you bothered to pick out just about two hours ago, one for Minho, one for Jungwoo, one for Ten, and of course, you could not forget one for Changmin.

When Changmin had personally invited you to come see his performance tonight earlier in the week, you couldn’t deny that the feeling made your chest warm and fuzzy. Even as you trudged your way up the stairs to the front of the performing arts building, you were filled with adrenaline and antsy energy. You’d waited so long for this, hadn’t you?

The last time you had come to see the winter showcase was in freshman year, the year the Daily asked you to write a review piece on one of the performers debuting that year, and even that had been enough of dance for the years following. It would be nice to know, this time, that you were wanted in the audience. (Changmin would have wanted you in the audience all this time, but you didn’t know that.)

Because you were unquestionably late, the doors to the hall would be closed shut now.

That was why having a friend like Boo Seungkwan was paramount.

“Thank you,” you gasped as one of the doors to the performance hall burst open and allowed you into the warmth of the lobby. You could hear the bass of whatever song was on and the audience’s cheers from here.

Seungkwan swept half of the bouquets from your arms with a click of his tongue. “Yah, you’re insane for taking the bus all the time. Yeri even asked to pick you up!”

“I know, I know!” You cried, the two of you scurrying over to one of the doors in the hall. “I panicked at the last second to get flowers and then I had to go all the way to the shop on fifth! By the way, did you know they’re open until 11?”

Both of your voices quieted as you slipped into the darkened auditorium. The stage was the only part illuminated in blinding, searing hot spotlights. You had just walked in on a brief break between acts as performers switched on and off stage. Seungkwan led you to one of the rows of seats in the nosebleeds that was relatively in the middle.

All of your friends practically occupied the entire row, and they lit up in delight at the sight of you.

“Yo Yn!” Mark whispered as he leaned over Yeri. “You’re actually here!”

Yeri reached over to squeeze your hand as you took the open seat next to her, and Seungkwan took the last seat in the aisle. “I’m so happy you’re here, Yn-ie.”

Doyoung and Kun peered out from around Mark, and you recognized a couple others from the NCT frat and RVE sorority further down the row. “Hey guys,” you said quietly to them as you wrangled your purse into your lap and adjusted the flowers in your arms, “how much did I miss?”

“Not much at all," Doyoung replied. "It's just been a few of the first years."

"We've got a little while until the older batch," Kun said with a wave of the program in his hands.

You nodded your understanding and settled into your seat to get comfortable. The performances went on one after the other. There was a mix of all different genres, ranging from contemporary ballet to tap and popping. Because everyone in the final winter showcase were in some kind of dance course on campus, a lot of the acts displayed a ton of experience already, even as first-years.

The longer the night went on, the less you believed your antsiness was a result of a nervous tick, but rather the bottled up adrenaline building up from watching all the performances. At some point, you realized you weren't even analyzing the performances anymore, but rather, sitting in awe of each one.

When a brief intermission was announced, Yeri and one of her sorority sisters squeezed past to head to the restroom while a few others from the row headed out to stretch their limbs and find some other friends. You and Seungkwan lingered in your seats, discussing your favorite performances so far, as well as how your finals weeks had gone for each of you.

"I'm just so glad we have spring break now," he groaned, his head hanging with exhaustion. "I might have skipped tonight if that meant I could sleep early."

"You would have regretted it though," you pointed out to him.

He gestured with his hand. "Right, you are." He let out a sigh as he raised his head and met your smile with a tired one of his own. "Well, Yn, you did it. You're watching your first full winter showcase. How do you feel?"

Your gaze flickered back to the stage. The house lights had come on for intermission, leaving the stage drenched in darkness. You could have sworn you saw the heavy red curtains shudder as if someone had poked their head out to view the audience. You remembered when you and Changmin used to do that when you were kids.

You turned back to Seungkwan. "I feel surprisingly okay," you confessed. "I was a little nervous before, but I think that I'm doing good."

He nodded. "Good. I'm glad you're here."

"Thanks, Kwan." You exhaled. "I didn't fully realize how long this was gonna be," you mused.

Seungkwan raised a brow at you. "Well, didn't you only stay for like, Changmin's performance last time you were here?"

"Well, yeah—"

The house lights suddenly shuttered off, and people rushed back to their seats. Your friends who were coming back squeezed past you and Seungkwan, effectively cutting off your conversation from before. The last half of the night would be handed over to the students who were majoring in dance and had been a part of the program for over two years.

You were properly in awe of the next performances. They had decided to put Ten out first, dancing to a song called Baby Don't Stop. He had mentioned the song to you once, but you hadn't really thought much about it until now. It was a side of Ten you hadn't seen yet since you had never seen him dance properly, but… you were definitely going to need to gush about this to him afterward.

You were pretty sure the crowd didn't quiet down for five performers in a row, as crazy-talented dancers such as Minho and Jungwoo followed after.

Each performance was incomparable to the next, and soon, you were sucking in a breath to the sound of Changmin's name being announced.

You slapped your hands onto Seungkwan's and Yeri's on either side of you, both of whom squeezed and shook your hands back as the curtain rose.

The lighting began a deep, electric purple, painting Changmin to look like a dark silhouette on stage. You almost couldn't make out the details of his white and black suit-like uniform. It was dynamic and unique with the suit cut outs and gloves, and he paired it all with an eye look that made his eyes feel darker and smokier.

He was still at first—until a set of horns, like trumpets, blared from the speaker's and he began striding forward.

You heard Mark gasp from two seats over. "Holy shit, he's dancing to Action Figure."

You vaguely recognized the title, but if you were thinking of the right song, then the room was about to get a lot louder. Unconsciously, you squeezed Seungkwan and Yeri's hands as you leaned forward and lingered on the edge of your seat.

The performance was everything you expected and more. Changmin was, as you had expressed before, the absolute cream of the crop. Each movement was brought with sharp precision, like the blade of a knife. Even during the slower bridge portion, he somehow executed the legato-like movements with a crispness of 4K HDR quality.

Everyone in the room held their breath (or screamed it out) with each sultry gaze, each lick of his lips, each smirk—a great dancer, a great performer; he would forever be one of the greats. That, you were very certain of.

When the song came to an end and he raised his head to peer at the audience through his bangs, you and everyone else erupted into applause, whistles, yelling—all the works. Your heart palpitated so hard in your chest that you thought it was trying to mimic his own dance. You were practically shaking from all of the bottled energy, and…

"Wow," you breathed out as you leaned back in your seat as the stage was reset for the next act. Your knee began bouncing fervently, sending the flowers in your lap up and down as well.

Seungkwan murmured his agreement, "Whew. I can't tell if I'm attracted or intimidated."

You snorted, patting his hand with your palm. "Both?"

"Probably."

You laughed, your hand lifting up to absentmindedly press against the base of your throat and sternum.

You couldn't help but think about what Changmin had revealed to you that day. How could a pair of parents not be absolutely floored to have a son as talented as Ji Changmin? It was so unbelievable to you, but you couldn't imagine how it might have felt to suddenly have all that support be ripped out from beneath your feet like his support had been.

The performances following would finish off those of the solo category. Afterwards, a handful of groups performed, including repeats of a few performers. Minho and Jungwoo had performed a stage together (Finesse, if you weren't mistaken), while Changmin and Juyeon made a return to the stage with another sultry hit by the name of Light a Flame.

By the end of the night, you were eager to head backstage to see your friends who had just performed their hearts out.

Plus, the bouquets were wilting.

Once the house lights had thunked to life, and the crowd was beginning to lessen, the row you were seated in with your friends stood together. Some of them were going to head straight home, but a few others planned to stay back to congratulate the performers on a night well done.

"You guys ready to head back?" Mark asked while nodding toward the stage with his hands shoved into the pockets of his puffer vest.

The high you were on was gradually fading out, and you had to clear your throat. "Can I meet you guys back there? I think I'm gonna take a quick breather and then just go in through the backdoor."

They were more than okay with accommodating you, encouraging you to take as long as you needed. Mark and Yeri both took the remaining two bouquets from your arms as Seungkwan ushered you out the door to take that breather.

As you hit the cool, early-March air, you wrapped your coat tighter around yourself and inhaled deeply. All around you, people lingered and chatted with each other, gushing about their favorite performances and reenacting the most memorable parts. You smiled to yourself when you overheard a group of boys near you talking about Changmin's tasteful choice in music, as well as the cohesion of his entire performance, ranging from not only the music choice, but down to the costuming as well. (And the choreography, of course. Everything about his performance, as emphasized, was breathtaking.)

With a sigh, you began rounding the building toward the back entrance.

Now that you had the space to deconstruct your thoughts, you realized that although you felt an indescribable amount of pride for your friends, you couldn't help the pit forming in the bottom of your stomach. In a way, you envied the performers onstage. You wished you had held on a little longer; maybe then, you could have been one of the people on stage tonight like you had wanted when you were just a teen.

When you reached the back door, you managed to gather your strength and let yourself in.

Like that day you had taken Sumin backstage, it was all hustle and bustle, but ten times that. Pandemonium erupted as performers raced past you left and right trying to find their friends, fellow performers, and even the location of their hairspray. (They should have put their name on it, you thought cheekily, but even then, it might not have worked still, you supposed.)

You kept your arms crossed over your chest as you squeezed past people toward where you were hoping to find your friends. As you walked into the dressing room corridor, you nearly collided with a silky dress shirt.

"Yn! I can't believe I found you," Ten chuckled.

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him in an affectionate embrace. "Ten! I can't believe you found me either. It's a madhouse here." You scanned the faces and bodies buzzing about for any sign of your friends. "Have Mark, Yeri, or Seungkwan found you yet? They have the flowers I was gonna give you."

Ten's lips curled up into a smile as he pressed a hand to his chest. "Gasp, you got me flowers?"

"Yes, and please never say 'gasp' aloud ever again," you winced.

That only made his smile grow. "No promises. But what'd you think of the show tonight? I'm glad you stayed the whole time."

"It was incredible! You were incredible," you amended with your eyes likely the shape of stars. "Who gave you the absolute audacity to be so talented, sir! I swear I heard some girl faint a couple rows behind me," you joked.

His eyes narrowed into sly, little crescents. "Oh? And did you faint for mine, too? Or did you save that reaction for another special someone?"

You flushed, your eyes averting to anywhere but the nosy feline before you.

Ten threw his head back in a loud guffaw. "Okay, okay. I see how it is. He's been looking for you, by the way."

Your eyes went wide. "And you wait until now to tell me?"

"I wanted my dose of Yn affection, too," he shrugged, giggling like a schoolgirl. "Plus, the look on your face was well worth it."

"Sometimes I hate you."

"Some is not all," he pointed out.

"—you said she was over here? Yn!"

Yours and Ten's heads turned and you watched as Changmin's eyes found yours in the crowded room. He began pushing his way toward you, sweat still dampening the strands of hair and falling into the collar of the dark blazer he wore for Light a Flame.

Ten snickered under his breath. "Well, I'm gonna go find Mark to get my flowers. Text me later, 'kay? Okay!"

Before you could blink, Ten had disappeared into the masses. You swore that man was so slippery sometimes.

You glanced back in the direction that you saw Changmin coming from,but when you couldn't find him, you frowned. It really was awfully hard to find people in here…

"Boo!"

You swore your soul left your body for five seconds. You whirled around, glaring daggers at the impish squirrel man who somehow ended up behind you. "You're such a menace."

Changmin grinned so wide it looked like even his dimples were strained. "Sorry," he wheezed, not sounding sorry at all. "The opportunity presented itself on a gold-plated platter."

"You should feel very lucky that I wasn't holding lemonade this time."

"Okay, but why were you drinking that without a cap on the cup? Did they not give you a plastic lid or something?"

You felt the corner of your mouth lift. How was it so easy to recall these things? "It's just the universe telling you to end your pranks."

He shrugged helplessly. "I can't help that you are so easy to sneak up on."

"You're gonna say that when I somehow heard you asking if I was in here from across the room?"

"That's because I let you hear that; there's a difference," he said, leaning against the corridor wall next to you. He looked you up and down, tongue darting out for a moment. "Thanks for coming tonight."

You leaned your shoulder against the wall next to him. "I enjoyed myself," you said in reply. "You did really well tonight though, Changmin. It was a great performance."

He grinned, and his tongue had to poke the inside of his cheek. "Just great?"

You raised your eyebrows at him and decided to bypass that question for the moment. "Did my friends give you your flowers?"

Changmin showed his empty hands and you deadpanned.

"What?" He giggled. "I'm just stating the obvious."

"You're so infuriating sometimes."

He gently bumped your shoulder with his. "Nothing new."

Nothing new, indeed. It was strange, actually, falling into this kind of easygoing, light-hearted banter. You'd seen how easy it was that night in the lab, but this was nice, you had to admit. Banter and arguing were two different things, you learned, and the latter always took such a toll on those involved.

How did the two of you stay away for so long? Maybe you were both too prideful, too afraid to break the ice.

Changmin's expression sobered a little as he observed your expression. "What're you thinking about?"

You blinked, glancing over at him. "Nothing, just…" Your voice lowered to something like a whisper, "I missed this." I missed you.

And as you met his eyes again, you knew that he had heard you. He swallowed, roughly. "Me too."

EPISODE THIRTEEN: OFF THE CUFF

THE quad was in bloom with the coming of spring and spring break. It was tradition at your university to take pictures and to take a stroll through the freshly bloomed cherry blossom trees lining the rectangular lawn. Only in spring did the trees reveal their beautiful, baby pink flowers, so it was optimal to go frolic amongst them while they were full.

Changmin had been dragged out by Chanhee. Well, he liked to say that Chanhee forced him outside, but in reality, Changmin had put just as much effort into his appearance today as Chanhee did, just not as formal. And luckily, it wasn't just the two best friends who were out with them among the crowd of people, but also the entirety of their friend group—plus the significant others, too.

"I hate this more than Valentine's Day," Sunwoo grumbled as he blew a curl out of his eyes. He was referring to the couples all around them taking pictures and holding hands and kissing.

"You're telling me," Kevin sighed as he messed with the settings on his camera for the pictures he wanted to take of the scenery. "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."

Sangyeon had his phone out and was already taking photos of the blooming flowers around him and in the trees. He suddenly turned his phone around, set at point five zoom. "Hey guys, look here and smile!"

Everyone in the shot (all the singles: Chanhee, Changmin, Sunwoo, Kevin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae) slapped smiles onto their faces. As soon as Sangyeon put the phone down, their smiles dropped.

"Who was that for?" Juyeon asked as he slung an arm around Sangyeon's shoulder to peer at the eldest's phone screen. He made a groaning noise before peeling away. "Ahhhh, 'The Girlfriend'. I see."

Sangyeon cocked a brow at him. "Have you finally accepted that I have a girlfriend?"

"Nope."

Sangyeon's eyes looked up and away in exasperation, before he shook his head and returned to doing whatever he was doing.

Changmin surveyed the crowded quad with disinterest. He scanned all of the faces present around him; too many to count that was for sure. Jacob and JC!Yn had separated from them almost immediately; Eric and his girlfriend were off being cute or something; Younghoon and his partner hadn't even traveled here with most of them; but at least Haknyeon and his significant other stayed with them for the first five minutes to make conversation about the dance showcase a few nights ago.

He sighed. That was how long ago it had been since he last saw you. (My god, he sounded like some kind of lovesick teenager, waiting by the landline for his lover to ring him up—)

On the other side of the quad, you and your friends had just arrived to do the same exact thing Changmin's friends were. But as soon as you saw the crowd, you were five seconds from simply giving up.

"We'd get like, one flower, and that's it," Seungkwan argued to Yeri who was trudging forward despite the load of people around.

Yeri huffed. "Not if you don't try, Boo Seungkwan."

He made a noise of disgruntlement, his head lifting up and nostrils flaring. "Oh my god—"

"Yn, my wife, defend my honor!"

You snapped up straight, tuning back into the conversation. Mark and Jungwoo trailed somewhere behind the three of you and if you weren't careful, you'd lose them, too. "Huh? Oh, well, Seungkwan…" Your voice trailed off, and your eyes wandered to a specific gathering of trees further down the lawn from where you currently were.

It was unfair how he was framed like a K-Drama shot: the slow motion pink petals drifting around him, his lithe body gracefully leaning against the dark bark of the cherry blossom tree, the green sweater vest layered over a white shirt and pants. You gulped—he looked way too pretty to just be standing there—

"—hello? Earth to Yn?" A hand was waving in front of your face and someone was poking your shoulder.

You shook away from them, eyes wide like a child with your hand caught in the cookie jar. "Huh?"

Seungkwan and Yeri sent you curious looks. "You were staring at Changmin," said Yeri, arms crossing over her chest.

Seungkwan let out a dramatically wistful, little sigh as he scratched the side of his head. "You're so lucky that Ten's not here; we are so very merciful compared to him."

You rolled your eyes, even though they were right. "I wasn't staring! I just—I couldn't tell if it was really him or not."

"Because I'm just so breathtakingly beautiful?"

"Definitely n—what the fuck," you yelped, nearly leaping out of your skin again at the right of Changmin's dimpled smile as he seemingly appeared out of thin air right next to you.

Changmin erupted into howling laughter, folding over onto his knees as he slapped his leg once, twice—

"You're not even that funny," you grumbled, side-eyeing both him and your friends. (Guess you really did lose Mark and Jungwoo…)

Seungkwan and Yeri did not hide their own laughs very well, but they definitely weren't knee-slapping themselves.

"How'd you even cover so much ground that fast?" You queried, whirling back on Changmin.

He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, his hands resting in the pockets of pants as he stood in a relaxed posture. His skin was unfairly pretty in this lighting, like his smile. "I harnessed my inner squirrel."

"You mean your inner furry?"

Seungkwan and Yeri chose this moment to slip away, calling out something like "we're just gonna go walk a tree" before bowing out. Changmin feigned an expression of offense, pressing a hand to his chest. "Rude! It's called athleticism."

You wrinkled your nose. "Like you know what athleticism is."

"I'll race you to the stairs over there right now—HEY, CHEATER! I DIDN'T SAY GO—" Despite his indignant squawk, Changmin's cheeks hurt from how hard he grinned as he raced after you toward the stairs at the other end of the lawn.

— ✶

"So… no Ten today?"

After a daring race, you and Changmin settled on top of the stairs overlooking the entire lawn. The sun hung at golden hour position and painted the landscape and people below in beautiful, buttery gold wash. You even swore you saw Chanhee chasing after Sunwoo with a handful of loose cherry blossom petals, no doubt to dump into the latter's hair.

You looked over to where Changmin was leaning back onto his palms next to you. "This again?"

He pursed his lips. "Well, I mean," he drawled, "you guys are pretty close. I just figured you'd do this kind of thing together."

"That's fair," you conceded. "Uh, he's actually on a trip with a couple of his frat brothers this week. Something like backpacking in Switzerland."

Changmin gave an indulgent nod of his head. "Wow. Switzerland."

"I know, right?"

He peered out into the distance, eyes squinting against the strength of the sun, but he looked like an art piece nonetheless. “You and Ten aren’t, like, together? Are you?”

You tilted your head to the side. Interesting question. “No, we’re friends. I think in the beginning it might have felt like something on that level, but we’ve both—I think we’re both on the same page where we stand with each other.” You didn’t know why you were telling him so much; he’d only asked you a question. But speaking of being together with someone… You coughed, “Sumin told me what happened during the interview a couple weeks ago.”

Changmin smiled sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. “Oh, ha, she did? I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“You really didn’t know?”

“That she liked me? No,” he laughed with a shake of his head. He leaned forward onto his knees then, turning his head to the side to look at you with his fingers laced over his knees. “Who do you take me for, hm? I couldn’t just assume she had a crush on me.”

You feigned a look of disagreement, and he gasped, shoving your upper arm playfully. “I’m not that bad!” He exclaimed.

“You could be that bad,” you teased.

You watched as his expression cooled and the air around the two of you shifted. There was an earnestness in his eyes now, emphasized by the brilliance of the setting sun reflecting across his smooth lines of his face. “Have you ever thought about, you know, like trying to dance again?”

You weren’t sure what prompted this change in subject, but you gave it a thought. “I definitely have,” you said honestly, “I just can’t really step into a practice room without getting nervous.” You picked at a stray thread on your pants as you spoke and felt his gaze on you. “That night—the one when you saw me in front of the performing arts hall really late at night—I was trying to get myself to go in. To at least… try, y’know. Maybe prove to myself that I could work up the courage to go in, but I couldn’t.”

Changmin was quiet for a moment. His knees angled themselves toward you, and he leaned forward so his chest practically laid over his legs. “I said a lot of bad things to you in senior year,” he said lowly. “They were stupid—I was stupid. And—and if your anxiety with practice rooms comes from me, then—”

“Changmin,” you interrupted and captured his attention. You shifted to mimic his body positioning, so your eyes were level and you were both just as small as the other. “I said really shitty things to you, too.”

“I told you that you should quit,” he rasped. He had to turn his head so you wouldn’t see the silver pooling in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Yn; I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.”

You heard his sniffle over all of the chatter from the lawn below and you moved closer to him until your legs and arms were pressed together. You wrapped an arm around him, only for him to raise himself up and practically drape himself over you, his arms looped around your upper body and his face tucked into the side of your neck. Your heart tripped over itself in surprise, but you let yourself lean into his body heat.

“I’m sorry, too. I know you didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t mean any of what I said either.” You breathed for a moment and sighed, simply allowing him to stay in your arms for however long he needed. “I think,” you started, “even after three years, I still blame myself for letting all of that get to me. Sometimes, I want to go back in time and slap some sense into myself; maybe tell myself that I shouldn’t have let what my mom said bury itself so deep inside me. I mean… where would I be now had I not listened to her?”

Changmin pulled away then, resting his forearms on his legs again, but he didn’t back away from you. “You were just a kid, Yn. You can’t blame yourself.”

You rested your cheek against your fist. “I know. It’s hard not to, though.”

“I know.” He took another look at you, and you felt his eyes really take you in for a moment. The corner of his lips lifted. “Are you happy?”

“With?”

“With how you turned out? Where you ended up?”

You held your breath. It was a good question, and as you turned to search yourself inwardly, you came to a couple of conclusions. “In a way, I am. It’s probably just bitterness and regret I feel when I wonder what could have been, but maybe things happen for a reason.”

He nodded, his hand reaching up to pick out a stray leaf that had fallen into your hair. “We can always make up for lost time now,” he said. “We never did get to finish that duet.”

EPISODE FOURTEEN: [GET] OFF THE GROUND

THE next day, you found yourself standing outside the back door to the performing arts building. Because it was spring break, a large helping of the student population had abandoned campus as soon as their finals were over, leaving the place barren except for the area with the cherry blossoms. You stood next to Changmin, the latter holding his bag by the strap over his shoulder. You had been staring at the door for more than a minute now, trying to slow the palpitations of your heart.

“We can leave whenever you want to,” he murmured to you, the back of his hand nudging yours. “Let’s just try.”

You got yourself to nod.

The hallways were uncharacteristically quiet compared to the previous couple of times you had been back here. Since there was no one else here, you and Changmin got to pick whichever practice room you wanted. The largest one was the winner, and the lights flickered on to wash the shadows away. You immediately moved to one side of the room to set your things down, and Changmin went to his corner by the speaker. He was already hooking up his phone to the aux cord, but kept one eagle-eye on you as you inhaled the sight of the empty room around you.

As usual, your throat began closing in on itself, and you coaxed yourself into taking deep breaths.

You started out on the floor in front of the mirror, your legs crossed over each other and Changmin’s phone in your hands. Changmin had shouldered off his white athletic jacket, and began stretching as you swiped through the selection of music on his phone. The two of you collectively agreed for you to start off just watching. Once you were comfortable in the practice room environment, and if you wanted to dance, you would join him whenever you were ready. If you were never ready, then you could continue to just watch him and cheer him on during the practice.

You watched him card a hand through his hair as he peered at himself in the mirror behind you. “I always thought this mirror made you vain,” you chuckled, your hand having settled into your lap instead of at the base of your throat.

He furrowed his brows at you. His hands rested on his hips, the muscle in his forearms emboldening from the action. “Rude. I think you were the one who made me vain.”

“The fuck? How so?” You challenged.

“You always said you admired my facial expressions and my pretty smile,” he grinned at your reaction, snickering to himself. “Did you pick a song yet?”

You watched him dance. For the first few songs that played on shuffle, he was simply warming up his body and freestyling to whatever he heard. You knew Changmin was no stranger to people watching him dance, but there was something still so intimate about watching him in this space. You could watch him create things like magic, as well as watch him fumble and laugh at his own misgivings. Except, instead of doing it all by himself, his eyes would find yours and smile.

Next quarter, Changmin was supposedly signed on to be a TA for one of the dance courses, so he asked for your opinion on a few of his ideas for choreographies he could teach.

After showing you his second idea, he gestured to you then looked back at himself in the mirror. “What do you think? I’m not sure if writing something for each nuance in the beat would be a bit too much or if it’s something that should be used as a challenge routine.”

You hummed in understanding. “Well, if it’s an intermediate dance course, then I think it could be worked up to. Are these people dance majors or… maybe minoring in dance?”

He nodded when you said the latter. “Supposedly, they aren’t necessarily dance majors. But yeah, I agree—it could probably be brought out later in the quarter instead.” He made a motion with his hand as he backpedaled a couple steps to give himself more room between you and him. “Could you rewind to the first verse again? I wanna see something.”

You obliged him and rewinded the song to his desired timestamp. He tried out another possible set of choreo, but ended up stopping halfway through the chorus.

Again and again, you rewinded the song for him to try something new, but each time, he was met with his own dissatisfaction.

You suddenly stood, setting his phone on the ground with the song having been rewinded just slightly before the intended timestamp. Your hands were shaky and your heart was probably beating at an unhealthy speed, but you needed to try out something.

Changmin’s eyes opened wide as you came to stand next to him, but he said nothing. Instead, he let you loosely show him what you had concocted in your head while watching him go through trial after trial.

Before you knew what was happening, the two of you were weaving your ideas together, taking pieces of his original choreography and amending it with yours. You had watched him from the beginning so many times that you didn’t need long to pick up on the rest. By the end, the two of you had danced the entirety of the song together, your chest rising and falling fast with the speed of your breath.

Changmin released an exclamatory yell, thrusting his fist to the ceiling, then clasping your hand with his. “Let’s go! I really like that, Yn,” he said with his face split by a shit-eating grin.

Your heart was bursting again, not with nerves, but something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. You brushed the hair from your eyes, a satisfied beam set on your face. “I like it, too.”

There was a sheen akin to pride in his eyes. “I wanna show you something,” he said, walking over to his phone with a skip in his step. “Stay there! I wanna teach you this bit of choreo that’s been living in my head for a while now.”

And so, you followed Changmin’s instructions as he put on a groovy-type beat. The routine was simple enough—looks-wise. But if you knew anything about the things Changmin choreographed, the difficulty was all in the subtlety and technique. When you were younger, the appeal between you and Changmin as partners were that you were practically foils for each other. While Changmin ruled the arena of sharp, focused isolations and movements, your area of expertise laid in bigger, fuller movements like that of a brushstroke. When you had watched Juyeon and Changmin’s performance during the winter showcase, you supposed that was why they were able to complement each other well. It was essentially what you and Changmin were, in combination.

The longer you and Changmin danced, the more your chest filled with air and warmth and love and happiness. The guilt and fear from before had melted away to reveal this suppressed portion of you that had been hidden for a long time.

At some point, the two of you were just messing around, and ended up sprawled on the polished wood floor of the practice room clutching your stomachs while choking on laughter.

Changmin rolled onto his side, eyes still squinted in delight as he tried to get a grip of his breathing. “Is your back okay?” He managed to wheeze between gasps and howls.

You wiped a tear that crept out from your eye. “No! I just tried carrying a fifty-something-kg man on my back. Do you think I’m okay?”

“In my defense,” he said, peering down at you as he rose into a sitting position and leaned back onto his palms, “you claimed you were stronger than me and could be the base.”

“A warning would have been nice!” You exclaimed. You rolled onto your stomach, laying your chin over your arms. “No one in their right mind just jumpscares people like that.”

“Have you met me?”

“Fair enough.”

A remnant of that merriment remained on his lips as he felt around the floor around him for where his phone had fallen out of his pants pocket. He caught a glimpse of the time, sighing, then raking a hand through his hair. “It’s already one o’clock. Are you hungry? Wanna get lunch or something?”

“Sure, what do you feel like?” You asked, eyes following his movements as he clambered up to his feet and tucked his phone back into his pocket.

He pressed his lips together in thought, humming, “Dunno. Fast food maybe?”

You rolled into a sitting position, similar to the one he had been in just moments before. “Okay.”

“Come on; let’s get up then.” He offered a hand out to you, and you clasped his forearm tightly.

In one fell motion, Changmin swept you upright and to your feet—but he used a little too much pulling force, and you were stumbling into him, palms pressed flat against his chest, and his arms coming around your waist. You held your breath as the two of you fought to stabilize the other.

“Shit, sorry about that,” he muttered from above you with a low chuckle.

You opened your mouth to reply, but as you raised your head to meet his eyes and not just his Adam’s apple, you lost all your breath. There was barely a hairsbreadth distance between your face and his. Changmin came to the same determination as you had and his eyes went wide.

A curious thing happened. His pupils dilated, and his eyes darted down to your mouth and his tongue swiped over his own to dampen them.

Your breath as you exhaled was as unsteady as your heart rate.

You felt his hold on your tighten slightly; his Adam’s apple bobbed. And then he was leaning forward, his eyes fluttering closed—

He kissed you then.

His lips were soft over your own with the slightest bit of pressure, nose nudging the side of your cheek.

Your hands moved up the plane of his chest to grasp his toned shoulders; he shifted his left hand to cradle the back of your head.

Wait, what is happening—

You both pulled away, as if the same thought had echoed through both of your heads at the same time.

Panic leapt into the two of you and you jolted away when the distinct sound of Boss by some group called Neo Culture Technology blasted throughout the quiet practice room.

"Fuck," you swore. You glanced back at Changmin and saw the question, the uncertainty, the—you couldn't even tell. Your mind was everywhere and nowhere at once. You could still feel his mouth on yours. "That—that's Doyoung's ringtone. I have to take this."

"Okay," he whispered inaudibly, and you slipped out from his hold.

With your back to him, he rubbed his hands down his face and an indescribable emotion seized his chest. He rubbed a thumb over his lips…

"Doyoung, you need to calm down," you said as Doyoung's voice quite literally rambled at lightspeed into your ear.

You heard your friend take one deep breath, then repeat, "I think one of these final draft files are corrupted. I'm freaking the fuck out right now, and I know you're not out of town, so if you could please—for the sake of my sanity—come to the office and help me!" He was pleading, begging, and Kim Doyoung did not beg. He sounded like one hair-pull from dropping down to his knees.

In any other context, you would have wanted to record this for the history books. Any other context.

Your eyes darted over to Changmin who was still standing in the middle of the room, hands tucked into his pockets, and gaze pinned to you.

You couldn't just—leave? Could you? Not after that—

Then you caught Changmin nodding his head in the direction of the door, his head cocking to the side in silent question. Do you need to go? He mouthed.

You pursed your lips with a reluctant nod. Something's wrong with the paper.

Then go. We'll talk after.

Talk. Yup. You started grabbing your things and you squeezed your phone between your ear and shoulder. "—okay okay, Doyoung. Can you stop wasting your energy for me, and tell me exactly what the screen is telling you?"

You began making your way to the door, but halted in the doorway. You hesitated, turning back to look at Changmin. You really shouldn't leave—but you had to.

"Yn."

You grabbed your phone and pressed the speaker into your shoulder. "Yes?" It sounded breathless.

Desperation gleamed like silver in his eyes. One did not often see that emotion from Ji Changmin. "Don't shut me out."

EPISODE FIFTEEN: OFF THE BOOKS

THE first person that came to mind was Choi Chanhee. "What—"

"I kissed her!" Changmin blurted, hand slapping over his mouth.

"You what?!"

— ✶

You were breathless, brain muddled, a hot mess of a shitshow, when you got to the Daily. The rest of the Board members were on break, including your resident tech expert, so you had assured Doyoung that you were free if he needed anything. (If you weren't deeply regretting that now though.)

You had fast walked all the way from the performing arts center to the Daily's newsroom, effectively cutting travel time down from ten minutes to seven, even with your bag of items. Though, it definitely didn't help your headspace. You could hardly think about Changmin, the kiss, and a corrupted file all at the same time. Not to mention, you finally managed to wrangle Doyoung off the phone with you so he could go splash water on his face to calm the fuck down.

The newsroom was dark when you got there, but you saw the light from Doyoung's office shining down the corridor. He was seated behind his desk, his expression a lot more calm than he sounded from the phone, but his face and bangs were a bit damp, meaning he had actually gone to wash his face. Good.

He saw you trudging down the hall, your baby hairs flying everywhere, and your breath coming out in pants. He noticed the bag slung over your shoulder and had the nerve to ask, "Oh, were you on the way somewhere?"

You sent him a pained stare and collapsed into the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

"You look stressed."

"Changmin and I kissed."

Doyoung's eyes nearly fell out of his head and his body was half an inch from falling out of his chair. "HUH?"

Your head craned back against the back of the chair. "I know."

"Girl, why are you here then?"

"You said it was an emergency!" You cried, straightening. You didn't even acknowledge the fact that Doyoung had just called you "girl". "Now, let's work this file situation out."

Doyoung moved his laptop further away from you. "Oh, nuh-uh, Missy. You're gonna just send me your copy, and then you're gonna go on your merry way back to Mr. Dancer Man and kiss him again."

Your face scrunched up. "Hello?" What was in the sink water in this building…

"Did you talk about it? Are you two dating now?"

"Doyoung," you whined, scrubbing a hand over your face, "you literally called right after we kissed."

Doyoung made a noise of disappointment. "Damn, I'm never gonna live this down."

"Seungkwan's gonna call you a cockblocker for the rest of your life," you muttered in agreement.

He snorted. "You said it, not me." He sobered then, closing the lid of his laptop so he could lace his fingers over it and fix you with a serious expression. "So how do you feel? Tell me what happened."

You twisted and dropped your bag to the ground by your feet, moving your chair closer to the desk so you could drape your upper half on top of the cool surface. "We were dancing—"

"Really?"

"Mhm," you hummed against the table. "It was… it was really nice, Doie. I actually had fun. And then we just—I don't even know—we played around a little and he was helping me up off the ground, and suddenly we were kissing."

Doyoung's brows furrowed together. "Ah, I see. Did he kiss you or did you kiss him?"

"He kissed me, but I didn't stop him." You could recall the look in his eyes with a striking amount of clarity. "I… I don't really know what it all means, or what it means to me. I'm a little confused, if I'm honest."

He sighed. "And that's okay. I think this is something you definitely need to go back and talk to him about though, hm?"

"Yeah."

"But Yn," he continued, reaching over to rub the top of your head and get you to look up, "did you ever have feelings for the guy?"

You slowly raised yourself up from the table with a frown on your face. "When I was a kid, I didn't really see anyone else but him," you confessed, almost unconsciously. You hadn't known what the feeling you harbored for him was back then, but maybe you could seek to understand it now.

Doyoung made a vague gesture with his hand as he sat back in his chair. "Well, that's a start for sure. But you and he have been on rocky terrain for years now. You're not kids anymore and a lot of things have changed." He was right, in some sense. You and Changmin had spent three years convincing yourselves you didn't need each other. Perhaps it had been the opposite the entire time, but what did it all mean?

"I'm glad to have him in my life again," you said quietly. "I think I've always felt… different about Changmin than any other friend I've had before, y'know? It was just unconscious in a way."

"Would you want to act on that then? See where it goes?"

You let his questions resonate around your head for a minute. But the more you thought about it, the more certain you became of your answer.

— ✶

The back corridors of the performing arts hall were just as dark as it was when you had left. For a moment, you were afraid that Changmin had left. But as you neared the practice room from earlier, you could make out the sounds of voices drifting from the cracked open door of the room.

You strained your ears—who was that with Changmin?

You reached the door, quietly pressing yourself against the wall to peer in through the cracked doorway. There, sitting opposite Changmin on the practice room floor, was Chanhee.

"—think about it, Changmin," said Chanhee as he dropped his friend by the shoulders to keep him from sulking. "She kissed you back. Don't you think that means something?"

"She could've just been caught up in the moment," Changmin countered. "She could've—" He made a frustrated noise and threw his hands out in front of him, "Maybe I just don't want to be disappointed."

Chanhee frowned. "Disappointed… that she doesn't return your feelings? Changmin, can you be honest with me for a second?"

He gave a solemn nod.

"Those feelings you had for her when you were a kid—have they ever gone away?"

You had to back away from the door and press your palm against your mouth. But because of that, you weren't able to catch Changmin's answer. Your heart slammed against your ribcage, your hands shaking as your thoughts raced in your head. You had to open the door now. You'd already intruded when you eavesdropped on their conversation.

Sucking in a breath, you pushed the door open wider. No going back now.

Changmin and Chanhee were both frozen in place when you poked your head into the room. The former paled in the warm-toned practice room lights, and you saw him gulp.

"Yn!" Chanhee laughed nervously as he and his friend both scrambled to their feet. His car keys jangled noisily from where they hung on a clip from his belt loop. "Uhm, I think I should leave," he said, clearing his throat and brushing past you.

You grabbed your arm as you shuffled into the room and gently kicked the door closed behind you.

Changmin cupped the back of his neck. "How much did you hear?" He asked, not even bothering to hide the open glisten in his eyes, the pure vulnerability lying stark on his face. It felt like you were seventeen again, standing alone together in the practice room, not really sure what the other person would say or do or feel.

"What did Chanhee mean by you having feelings for me when we were kids?" You asked.

The silence was palpable. "You really didn't know?"

No, you shook your head, definitely not. "I—I mean, no. Not really. I guess I always thought… I don't know what I thought."

He braced both hands behind his head now, his eyes tilted back toward the ceiling. "Yn," he said before looking you in the eyes again, "every time I saw you, I saw someone who put the fucking stars in the sky. If you watch any of our videos from back then—" He pushed out a haggard breath from his mouth. "I could never not care for you, could never stop caring for you. It hurt a lot when we stopped being us because I thought I…"

His hands fell to his sides, helpless. "I thought I lost you. And then it felt like you hated me, so I tried to hate you, too. And then we worked shit out. And then…" Changmin brushed his bangs back and was unable to look you in the eyes for longer than a second with each glance. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I don't want to lose you again, Yn."

Your heart thundered in your ears so loud that you almost thought he could hear it, even from so far away. You got yourself to take a step forward, and then another.

Changmin waited as you walked closer to him, his lips pressed together.

You inhaled. "Changmin, I can't say for sure what I felt for you back then, and I definitely can't articulate my feelings for you as well as you just did—" His eyes clashed with yours, that energy colliding, "—but I'm not sorry you kissed me, or that I kissed you."

You thought you heard his breath hitch for a moment.

"I don't want to lose you again, either," you said and tentatively reached for his hands. Never in your years of knowing him had you known a moment where his fingers trembled like they did now. "And I—I really want to see where this goes. Would you want to see where this goes with me?"

His fingers curled around yours as he nodded. "Yes."

EPISODE SIXTEEN: OFF [MY] FACE

"WHAT about that one?"

"Don't touch that one."

"Will it burn my skin off?" Changmin asked in a sleepy daze as one hand rubbed his eye and the other reached for the gallon of liquid that sat behind a locked cabinet with a clearly marked DO NOT TOUCH. DANGER. plastered on the side.

"Yes," you said without looking up from your organic chemistry textbook.

Changmin's hand dropped immediately and he turned to send a look your way. "Well, that's not very safe."

His hoodie-covered head began bumbling back over to you through the maze of workbenches. It was the first week back to school from spring break, thus, the very first week of the spring quarter. You and Changmin were currently in your regular lab space that you unofficially dubbed your study area. Kun was in the break room probably half asleep over a bag of shrimp chips, and Ten… Ten was somewhere around here. Maybe he got lost down the hallway looking for the bathroom or something.

Changmin had come to hang out with you though, even though he was practically a walking baby giraffe as drowsiness possessed his whole being. But he insisted on staying until you went home.

"It's actually just distilled water," you said with a chuckle. "The lab professors just don't want people using it because for some reason, the convenience stores around here are always out, and they don't want to go hunting for more."

You felt him drape over your back with a fwump. "I love when you talk dirty to me," he said through a rather large yawn.

You grinned to yourself, shaking your head. "Okay, I think we need to get you home."

"Not before you take me to dinner first."

"Are you sure you're not drunk?"

You packed your things up quickly, especially when you saw Changmin nodding off while standing upright. It was already around nine o'clock by the time you said good night to Kun and located Ten (yeah, he'd gone looking for the bathroom and almost gotten locked in a supply closet instead).

Changmin tried to convince you he was okay to drive, but by the way he couldn't even figure out that his keys were hanging on his belt loop, it was safe to say that you were driving tonight. The drive over to Changmin and Chanhee's apartment was an easy one since they lived in the university district and the streets were quite barren at this point. You helped him up to the apartment, greeting Chanhee who was in a fluffy pink robe and matching headband.

"Hi Chanhee," you sighed as you pushed Changmin into the bathroom to shower.

Chanhee looked on in ill-concealed amusement. "He'll be much better after he showers," he reassured you from his perch on the couch. You saw the page-long math problems spread out on the coffee table and held in a gag.

"Dear god, I hope so."

Chanhee directed you to where Changmin's room was and you dumped both yours and his backpacks on the floor by his desk. You actually had yet to step foot in here until now, so while Changmin was doing his thing in the bathroom, you let your eyes roam all around the room. It was relatively clean (emphasis on relatively) with walls that were minimally decorated. There was a whole separate rack of shirts and jackets left outside the small wardrobe, and you recognized a couple of them.

You leaned over his desk to see what he had posted on the wall above it. There were a couple dozen printed photographs of him and his friends, as well as an award or two that were big in name and no doubt special to him. You felt yourself smile; you didn't have to be up here, but you liked seeing his smile in all of these pictures.

And then you saw it.

There was a printed copy of a review pinned amongst the pandemonium of memorabilia. The layout of the page was incredibly familiar, and with widened eyes, you realized that it was a review from the Daily's Opera Glasses.

In fact, as you squinted and skimmed, it was your review from freshman year. It was your (anonymous) review about his debut winter showcase performance.

Wow.

You barely registered Changmin shuffling into the room in slippers and a bathrobe of his own, his dark hair still dripping with water.

He passed you a glance while heading for his wardrobe. "Hey, do you wanna stay over?"

You definitely weren't prepared for that question. "Stay over?" You parroted dumbly. "Also, you have an Opera Glasses review printed out?" Your hand gestured to the sheet of paper pinned to the wall.

Changmin's head turned and he abandoned the wardrobe to walk over to you and his desk. You pressed yourself against the wall to the side to give him space to look. "Ah," he said with a boyish grin, "that was yours, wasn't it?"

"How the hell could you tell?"

He leaned in close to you, bracing an arm above your head. The smell of his shampoo was strong and you came to the realization that he was still in a bathrobe. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. "You don't think I could tell what your writing voice sounded like?" He asked, his voice suddenly lowered.

You inched forward, a dare. "Are you gonna get dressed, Changmin?"

His smile widened. "I could," he teased.

"Hey! Can you guys close the door or keep it down? Some of us are single and have math homework!"

Both you and Changmin laughed at Chanhee's outburst even though your face was definitely heated up.

Changmin took advantage of your unassuming state and pressed his mouth to yours, tasting your laughter on his tongue until you could only taste his in return. It was a dizzying sort of kiss, his arm still above you and his other curled around your waist.

When he pulled away, he bit his lip around a smirk. "I'll get changed now."

Criminal. Absolutely criminal.

He indeed got changed. And so did you. Apparently, he was being serious about you staying the night, and soon enough, you found yourself buried beneath his covers and swept in his very clingy arms. Not that you were complaining; he smelled nice.

You and Changmin laid facing each other in the darkness of his room. Round spectacles sat awkwardly on his nose bridge since the side of his face was pressed against the pillow, but he said he wouldn't take them off until he was just about to drift off.

"Yn-ie."

"Hm?"

He giggled, turning over and reaching over the side of his bed for something. You were about to question what he was doing until he quite literally shoved his wretched Chucky doll into your face.

"What the flying fuck—" You glared at the toy and its creepy stitched face. You had been startled by it, but you had grown used to it after having to deal with his obsession with the damn thing in the last two years of high school.

Changmin hugged the abomination to his chest as he snickered loudly.

"I thought you got rid of that thing."

"You clearly don't know me well enough."

You began to sit up and make a show of throwing off the covers. "I'm leaving—"

"Wait, wait, wait!" He blubbered, grabbing your upper arm and yanking you back down onto the bed next to him.

He leaned over you, his Chucky doll still tucked in the crook of his arm, as Changmin pouted. The glasses were practically sliding off his nose and his hair was sticking up in the back. What a duality. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not cuddling with Chucky, Changmin."

"But—"

"I will go ask Chanhee for an extra blanket."

Changmin's pout contorted into a scowl. "I'll murder him."

You wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of this conversation. "I think you need to go to sleep."

He flopped back onto the bed next to you, reluctantly setting Chucky back down on the floor next to the bed where the wretched thing had been hiding this whole time. You suppressed a shiver.

Finally able to breathe easy, you settled back into Changmin's arms. He tucked you against his chest, his chin settled on top of your head. You felt him shift as he took his glasses off and reached behind him to set them on the nightstand.

You were just drifting off to sleep to the melody of his heart beat when: "Yn?"

"Hm?"

His lips pressed to the crown of your head. "I missed you."

You knew what he meant. You pressed a kiss to his chest and heard the shuddering breath that fell from his lips. "I missed you, too."

EPISODE SEVENTEEN (EPILOGUE): [ON OUR TERMS]

THE problem with the restaurant was that it reminded you of something like the word "home". The sign above the door was made with some common font that one could find on Microsoft Word and you were pretty sure they only took cash, too. There was a reason you had chosen this restaurant in particular, and it was because you thought that eating at a place with your comfort foods would, well, comfort you. But you had been staring at the front for a minute or two now, and you weren't sure it was working.

From beside you, you felt someone take your hand in his. "We don't have to go in," said Changmin, his expression blank and reserved as he looked at the eatery, but softened a considerable amount when he looked over at you.

Your mother was waiting for you in there, somewhere. You wanted to finally talk to her—maybe make some peace with yourself. You'd told Changmin about it, and he insisted on coming as moral support.

You squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. "I can't just not go, Changmin."

His touch was gentle as his thumb grazed over the back of your knuckles, just as gentle as his voice was, "You don't owe her anything, Yn. You deserve an apology from her and you deserve closure, but you don't owe her anything. Not after what she put you through."

You were quiet for a moment and your free hand brushed over the hollow of your throat where the tightening sensation was.

Changmin added, "I'll support whatever decision you come to."

You considered the restaurant again. It had always held a great amount of significance and comfort for you. Did you want to ruin that with a potentially sour conversation? For all you knew, this could end incredibly poorly.

But… there were some things that needed to be done.

You steeled your resolve. "Ready?"

Changmin, all dapper in his dress shirt and pants and styled hair, flashed you a dimpled smile. "Whenever you are."

a/n: wow ... anyways lol thanks for getting through that madness, and hope u enjoyed!! pls do consider reblogging, commenting, or sending an ask to my inbox teehee i would really appreciate it ! now, onto hyunjae's ! >:)

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