Guess who got obsessed with the sad cowboy game guys
⚠️CW under cut; blood (not a lot but a little bit)
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Ok, so Muppet AU! Every ability user in canon is a muppet, except for Dazai, who nullifies both abilities and the physical state of being a muppet!
Now that that’s established:
Bram is already kind of a muppet, right?
(Whenever Bram spreads the vampirism, the newly infected muppet just gains a pair of glued-in fangs)
Corruption is just muppet-Chuuya on a string, being swung wildly about like the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Imagine you are a muppet for as long as you can remember, and then one weird human pokes you, and suddenly you are also human for the first time alsksjdjf
Oh and the best part of this AU is Ranpo!!! Because if Fukuzawa convinced Ranpo that he had an ability when he was fifteen, then that means that Fukuzawa simultaneously had to convince a human boy that he was a muppet.
And Ranpo believes this for years.
Ranpo, a human man: “Haha, I have the best ability in the agency! >:D”
Atsushi, a tiger-muppet who has just learned how all this works:
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Crack-ship of the day: The Plague x The Clown
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i love dps fics where the guys are all super poetic and wise in their speech cause it’s very pretty and it reads well but also there’s two virgin jokes sub thirty minutes in the movie so i think we should all remember that they’re 17 sometimes
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AJJDKSJDDN I LOVE THEM SO MUCH RAHJHH
This au is so random but I can't help but mix my 2 hyper fixations together 🙁💔💔
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[ID: a digital redraw of the child struggling to swim meme where in the foreground a child is struggling to swim, only its head above the water, and a bit away is its smiling mother holding a different grinning child by the hands and not noticing the drowning child in the foreground. akutagawa is drawn as the drowning child, atushi is the other child and dazai is drawn in the mother's place. the signature reads, dandelion-roots. end ID]
Akutagawa's POV :(
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Rinse and repeat every day because John is a coward and Arthur is terminally oblivious.
(based on this screenshot I took)
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