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no-droids · 4 years

Text

Beginner’s Luck

Part Twelve of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 14.6K

Warnings: 👀👀👀 SMUT. Oral sex (male receiving), cockwarming, sexual acts in public, the use of blasters and other canon-typical weaponry

A/N: Twas the night before Mando season 2, and all through the house—NO IM JUST KIDDING SDKSFKSVS anyways I am so sorry for not being here for basically all of last month but I could not miss this incredibly momentous occasion for anything. Merry season 2 my lovely baby yoditos

***

“Well,” a modulated voice gruffs expectantly from behind you, clearly tired of waiting. “Turn around, let me see.”

“No. I look ridiculous,” you sulk from the corner of the hull, refusing to do as he says. You thought this was stupid from the very beginning and openly told him so, but you’re also a complete pushover for him with just enough backbone to be frustrated when you inevitably give in. “And don’t you ‘sweet girl’ me, it’s not gonna work this time.”

“Sweet girl,” Din’s deep voice lulls through the helmet, raspy and soft.

Fucking fine, if he’s gonna twist your arm about it. You spin around with a deep frown and a chrome visor stares back at you as you waddle forwards, and you don’t even need to look at the kid cradled in his forearm to know he’s smiling toothily as you clunk and rattle. Once you’re standing directly in front of them both, you blow the stray hair out of your eyes and plant your hands on your hips, just waiting for the inevitable response.

Only, you don’t get practically any response at all from him. He stays perfectly still and says absolutely nothing, and though the baby’s mouth falls open with happiness and he reaches for you, he doesn’t make a sound either.

“I told you,” you grumble after a few moments of pained silence. “I look ridiculous.”

Still, nothing. You purse your lips, shifting from side to side uncomfortably, and eventually your suspicion grows and festers until it finally bursts forth. Oh for the love of Maker—

“I know you’re laughing under there,” you accuse with a growl. He doesn’t move a single muscle but you don’t buy it, not for a single fucking second.

Then suddenly the helmet glances away from you and stares purposefully at the wall of the hull as the kid starts giggling, and you knew it. You fucking knew he was laughing.

“You look great,” comes tightly through the modulator after a moment, and you pull your lip up into a snarl, vindicated in your findings but not happy about it.

“Is that how this is supposed to protect me?” You wave your arms, hearing them squeak and clank like you’re a droid that hasn’t been maintenanced in centuries. The rough metal jerks up and smacks your chin with the shoulder movement and you grimace. “Make the bad guys laugh themselves to death?”

“It's bad,” Din finally turns back to you and admits with zero shame, and your cheeks burn at how stupid you must look right now. “Way too big.”

“Too big?” You blink at him. “That’s your criticism?”

When he presented it to you, your first impression was some sort of brown paint—but no. It’s fucking… rust. It’s damaged and scraped up and it looks like it’s been through the ringer and back, and not in a way that gives it character. There’s almost a literal hole in the fucking chestpiece and it’s dented so much that it actually creates more than enough space for your breasts, what the fuck happened—?

“You’re telling me you went from this—” You ask pointedly, knocking your knuckles against the ill-fitting piece of metal and feeling it wobble against your chest, “—to that—” you tap the pristine, gleaming armor strapped to his body that easily costs more than probably quadruple your entire life, “—without any go-betweens? It’s missing one of the shoulders, Din.”

He ignores you, flipping the chestpiece over your head with his free hand and letting the metallic clatter of it meeting the floor behind you ring out through the hull. “I’d hoped at least something would fit,” comes his filtered sigh. “This planet isn’t nice.”

That sobers you up a bit, and you feel your heart thump painfully. “Are we on Corellia?” You ask without thinking.

“No,” he tells you immediately, quelling your panic while pulling off your one singular pauldron. “Tatooine.”

You’ve never heard of it, but from the grave undertone of his voice, you know the drill. Different setting, same kind of people. Smugglers, rogues, criminals—the type he’s used to being around and knows exactly what to expect out of them. You always feel safe when he’s with you, but when he leaves?

“Oh,” you say, because you don’t really have anything else. It’s quiet for a little bit, but then he continues on before you can come up with something to fill the sudden uncertainty on your end.

“I know someone here,” Din murmurs, bending his knees and sinking down to start undoing and pulling the shoddy thigh braces off your legs. “Someone… nice. It’ll be safe as long as nobody sees me leaving or coming back, and the kid would be happy to see her.”

Your eyebrows pull inwards, something… unfamiliar settling inside you. Din doesn’t have friends, he’s made it clear that he doesn’t really like anyone that he knows well enough to introduce you to. Even when he’s lowered himself in front of you and is technically undressing you, you feel a spark of… no, not jealousy, that’s crazy. But for real, who is he talking about?

“Why can’t me and the baby just lay low somewhere remote like normal?” You ask instead, but he shakes his head.

“No such thing,” he grunts, pulling off the other thigh brace. “Tuskans or Jawas will find you even in the middle of the Dune Sea.”

“I like Jawas,” you blurt, having had many positive experiences trading with the little creatures on Arvala-7, but his helmet immediately tilts up to pin you in place and you shut up, feeling the tangible unamusement radiating from the thin blade of the visor even when the kid starts giggling again. “I mean I… don’t like Jawas?”

Din sighs and rises back up to his full height, finally handing the baby over to you now that you’re not weighed down by that ridiculous getup anymore. “You can either stay with her while I get the quarry or run the risk of pirates finding you drifting above the atmosphere,” he reasons bluntly, not mincing words. “But it’s not a good idea to be stuck on the surface without protection, someone will find you.”

You bite your lip, hugging the kid closer to your chest for a second. “Okay, that’s fine,” you murmur quietly after a moment. “We can stay with your… friend.”

You clear your throat and move to let him pass by to get to the cockpit, except Din doesn’t take a single step. You blink up at him and after what feels like an eternity of no response, the helmet slowly tilts sideways at you and… oops.

Was that not subtle? You didn’t know what to call her, genuinely, that’s why you hesitated. You didn’t want to use the word acquaintance, it felt too detached for the fact that he said the kid would be happy to see her again. That’s what’s called a friend, right?

Maker, why are you being so weird about this?

Thankfully, you end up getting away with it. After a few painful seconds of looking at every single thing in the hull besides him and humming a song you make up on the spot, Din slowly walks past and disappears up into the cockpit. You take a deep breath and gently rub the baby’s ears between your fingers as the Crest powers up with a ferocious rumble beneath your feet.

***

It’s bright. Fuck, it’s so bright here. You hold the kid to your chest with one hand and shield your eyes with the other as the ramp slowly descends, dust immediately kicking up around it. Din’s palm is resting against your lower back and his thumb gently brushes back and forth, but your heart decides to drop the very moment his hand does, and as soon as the ramp clanks against the landing platform, he’s striding down into the blazing hot desert sun without you.

Something in your chest squeezes and whispers to you that he probably doesn’t want to touch you when he’s about to see an old friend again, so you wait a few seconds of space before descending down the ramp behind him, not really knowing how you feel right now. But you’ve barely taken a single step to follow when a woman’s voice screeches out from across a vast distance. “Oh no, no no no—don’t you even think about it!”

Din slows to a halt at the end of the ramp and gives whoever it is a small nod, nothing beyond it, and if you weren’t purposefully looking at him for cues right now, you’d probably miss the greeting entirely. You stand on your tippy-toes from behind his cape as a fiery little middle-aged lady in a mechanic’s jumpsuit marches up to him with an attitude that more than makes up for the height difference.

“You’re not allowed here anymore,” she pokes his chestplate brazenly with one hand and props the other on her hip, clearly not excited to see him. “Not after the ruckus you caused last time, no sir, not on my watch.”

“That won’t happen again,” he gruffs shortly, not providing a single thing beyond it, and you blink. What… what happened last time?

“It sure won’t!” The strange woman agrees shrilly, crossing her arms and widening her eyes until she looks a bit like she’s been out in the suns too long. “I’m still recovering, Mando!”

“I compensated you,” he reminds her, a quiet edge of frustration beginning to creep into his voice.

She suddenly narrows her expression at him, going from manic desert lady to sharp and discerning skeptic within a split second. “How much do you think my life is worth?”

Din takes forever to respond, seeming to either be choosing his words very carefully or grinding his teeth under the beskar in frustration. Probably both. “I brought my ki—”

“You bring trouble!” She bursts out, stomping her foot on the dusty landing platform and holding her ground. “I don’t care how cute your little one is, go park your ship on some other poor soul’s hangar bay!”

He doesn’t say anything back, staying completely silent while you stand there awkwardly and wait for his response, and it’s almost like you… forgot. How quiet Din can be, how unnervingly little he can choose to offer to conversations until he deems the information absolutely necessary to provide. He allows you to forget that reserved nature of his. He talks to you. He never used to at the beginning, but somewhere along the way it just became increasingly common to hear his voice, both with a high-pass filter and blissfully without. Now though, there’s just too long of a weirdly tense pause in the reunion for you to handle without doing something about it.

So you step out from behind him with the child in your arms, giving her an apologetic smile with as much friendliness as you can possibly put into an expression.

“Hello,” you greet her gently, musically, lifting the baby’s hand to give her a companionable three-fingered wave from the both of you while he coos. “I promise I’m not trouble, but he did bring me along this time.”

Din and the woman simultaneously turn to look at you; her like you’re just as strange and jarring of a sight to see on this planet as the tiny unnamed boy in your arms and him like your voice by itself is enough to loosen his shoulders. Though neither one of them ultimately respond to you, you can tell by the way his fists unclench that you’ve at least helped him relax, even if the frizzy-haired lazy otherwise ignores your introduction entirely.

“Now just what in Maker’s name are you doing with a poor little stowaway like that?” She faces him and pokes his armor again. “You runnin’ a charity out of that battered piece of junk you call a ship?”

“Three hundred credits to let them stay with you for a week,” he turns back to tell her, cutting directly to the chase. Alright, so you don’t really understand their relationship at all at this point. He said she was nice? And yet he’s already bribing her that handsomely?

“Five hundred,” she immediately shoots back, and your heart sinks. Fuck, there’s no way. There’s no way he would spend that much, you’re going to have to find somewhere else to stay.

But… he doesn’t respond. Which you now remember with a jolt of surprise, means confirmation. Not wasting words agreeing, he’d say something back to her if he had an issue. Maker, five hundred credits. You’re starting to wonder if he’s really able to make any money at all doing this, or if the job is just… fitting for him, so he continues to do it. He’s spending more and more credits on you every single time you turn around, and while you don’t feel great about it, you know Din well enough to know he’s stable and independent enough to make the decisions he wants to make.

So you just stand there and hold the baby to your chest, unsure of your place, while Din eventually turns around to face you.

Sometimes, if you’re being honest, you almost find yourself wanting to… do soft things with him that you know you shouldn’t while other people are around. Granted, he’s never told you not to, but the last thing you want to do is undermine his reputation by unintentionally revealing his gentler side. You want to give him a hug and maybe hand him the baby to say goodbye, but you don’t know if that’s how he wants to present himself to company right now. Unfortunately, that ends up translating into you just looking at him and awkwardly waiting to see what he does. Your feelings won’t be hurt if he just takes off without another word now that you know that that’s his intent—you promise, they weren’t hurt the first fifty or so times he’s done it. You understand him, it’s alright, he doesn’t need to—

But then he leans in and lowers his voice until only you can hear it.

“I’ll be back soon,” he tells you, and you feel warmth creep into your chest.

You understand him. Which is why you feel like you could almost burst with how much he didn’t have to say that but chose to do so anyway. You already have a solid time frame—a week—which is more information than you usually get, and it’s such a small thing. It’s insane; if you made a list, you’d have 1) talking to you, 2) knowing his first name, and 3) seeing a glimpse of his forehead as your top reasons why he might care just as much about you as you care for him. That’s insane.

He takes a second to reach a glove out and rub the baby’s ear as he makes his adorable little baby noises up at him, before the helmet tilts back up just slightly to look at you.

“Be safe,” he waits for you to whisper back.

And you think now is finally the time to go, right? Except he waits just a few precious seconds more, just holding there, silently. Maker, you don’t want to miss him, why is he doing this to you? You’re trying to play it cool, see-you-later’s have been commonplace between you for nearing a full year now, so why does it feel like now is the first time he truly doesn’t want to go?

You hold the kid with one hand and start to reach for him the split second he turns to walk away, and you quickly drop it as the dry wind snaps through his cape. He leaves and doesn’t look back.

Still, you watch him disappear, until eventually you’re reminded of your host’s presence with the tap of a wrench against your shoulder.

“Hope you know your way around a hyperdrive,” the woman says with a smirk. Maker, Din didn’t even give you her name, you’re going to have to ask. “Gotta repair at least two of ‘em by sundown.”

You catch the hefty tool with your free hand and turn to her. “Pre-Imperial or post? Never done a restoration, but I’m a quick learner.”

She blinks at you like that was probably the last thing she expected you to say, but you give her the same friendly smile from before and look towards the entrance of the hangar for the ships needing maintenance.

***

So Peli is… a character.

She’s quick and entertaining and whip-smart, but you worry that if she had a whip, she might actually use it. She’s nice—she is, but she damn near works you to the bone once you prove yourself capable. You don’t think she expected the extent of your practical knowledge of mechanics, she went into it assuming you were going to be useless and did a hard U-turn that very first night. You both worked together to fix two malfunctioning hyperdrives by sundown, just like she told you she needed, but then she looked vaguely surprised and nobody showed to pick up until two days later.

The second day is more hectic, and the third day is worse. You cradle the kid on your hip while you work one-handed, smudged grease all over your forehead and sweat sticking your hair to your neck. Using Peli’s sonic shower never leaves you feeling clean no matter how many times a day you find yourself wanting to wash the dust and grime from your body, the same way yours used to back on Arvala-7, and you immediately get why her dark hair seems so frizzy and dry whenever you step out of the stall and catch sight of the similar rat’s nest on your head in the small mirror. Hypersonic waves dry it out more than the blazing hot suns on this planet—you look the same exact way you’ve looked for decades and while you don’t mind hard work, you can’t stand the complete lack of water on this forsaken rock.

Din was right, though. She is nice, but in a way that she never wants anybody else to find out about. She cooks you food every night but expects you to clean the whole kitchen after, she lets you have free reign over the caf maker as long as you remember to make enough for her, and she allows you and the kid to pass out on the beat-up sofa in one of the secluded back rooms for the time being. On more than one occasion, when she assigns you chores that require two hands and a steady focus to complete, you overhear her babytalk behind the control panel as she bounces the kid in one arm and plays with his ears. It fills your chest with a quiet, subtle kind of warmth, and you understand why Din trusts her with him.

At least you stay busy—which, understatement. She works you so hard that eventually she starts handing you tasks that don’t really seem… pressing. Replacing the spherical joints on her three pit droids, hand-scrubbing the grime off the pots and pans she uses to cook the same two meals everyday, polishing the dusty windows overlooking the landing platform even though they’re caked over with dirt not even an hour later. You realize soon enough that she doesn’t have nearly the workload here as she claims, periodically catching her playing cards with the droids while you’re busting your ass doing chores once all the real work has clearly been accomplished, but you’re not upset. You like being busy, it’s how you’ve lived most of your life. However, at some point, you actually end up running out of things to do. After that, it’s like she has to actively look for tasks she still needs completed.

One morning you find her in the parked Crest, ripping open the guidance systems paneling and talking to herself. You sip your caf and watch silently from the landing bay, hair pulled up in a messy bun and the baby on your hip as the suns rise on your shoulders and she mutters, whole sheets of metal being tossed out from the insides of the Razor Crest.

You've also learned she responds incredibly well to the prospect of credits, so you don’t spend too much time wondering what her goal is—find something in the ship for you to fix and then charge Mando extra for the materials whenever he comes back.

Hilarious though, as if there’s anything in your ship that actually needs fixing.

You spin around with a sigh and walk back into the hangar, knowing today will probably be the first slow day in awhile.

***

A few hours later, you’re invited to play a game of Sabacc for the first time in your life.

There are so many rules—so many suits and names to keep track of, so many values to memorize, only to be forced to choose one card after every round to keep just in case the rest of them happen to shuffle at random, which occurs at least once or twice every game. There’s too much luck involved to figure out any sort of strategy; you feel like sometimes you’re hopelessly lost and end up winning anyways or you wager nearly your entire stack of bolts on a perfect hand and then you lose the entire thing regardless.

It’s an unpredictable nightmare. But it’s something to do, and you’ve learned that playing just as stupidly as you bet allows you to easily stay in the game. The baby sits in your lap and plays with one of your rusty metal gambling pieces while your leg bounces, and Peli grumbles under her breath once it appears you get ahead of her in winnings.

“Beginner’s luck,” she tells her favorite pit droid quietly, who focuses its singular eye at you in a way that somehow feels unfriendly and nods on a brand new swivel, courtesy of yours truly.

You don’t argue, because there’s no point. The whole fucking thing is luck, but there’s no point. You know enough about this game to know that you might give something away if you speak, so you keep your mouth shut and let her fill the void. You know how to stay silent, you’ve learned from the best. Wordlessly drawing a card from the deck and tucking it in between two others of the same value, you decide to trade one of your other cards at complete random and hope it all just works out.

“Ship looks like it’s brand spankin’ new on the inside,” Peli mutters into her mug out of nowhere, and you pause for a moment, before silently nodding at the offhanded comment and trying not to show how pleased you are by it. “Was falling apart the last time I saw it.”

You keep bouncing the kid on your knee and fan out the cards in front of you, hoping his big black eyes aren’t reflective enough to reveal your hand. “I have a lot of free time.”

“I can tell,” she acknowledges, crossing her legs and leaning back into her chair. Peli sets the mug down and sighs. “You’re a good mechanic. I’d offer you a job here, but something tells me you wouldn’t even consider it.”

Now, you do smile. But it’s a hidden one. A fond one. One you find impossible to fight when you’re reminded of him. You miss him and ache for him and all those collectively angsty things, yes—but mostly you’re just… able to find a bone-deep solace in even thinking about him. Your heart tightens, but it’s far less constricting than it is a comfort, a firm embrace. It surrounds you in its safety; Din’s mere existence is your protection, wrapping around you the same way the beskar protects him. Nothing can touch you. You’re safe, from all the things you used to fear and all the new things you’ve learned to fear.

No, you’d never consider it. This planet is too much like Arvala-7, just slightly more populated and dangerous. You love the baby. You love him. You’d never consider it.

“Don’t you get bored?” She asks you with a raised eyebrow, and your smile admittedly drops the slightest bit. “Just waiting around for him to come back?”

You don’t have to think about your answer. Of course you do. If you’re being honest, it does feel a bit like your life is split between worlds—one with him, and one without. Whenever he’s not here, you’re thinking about how much you want him to come back, and whenever he is here, you’re thinking about how much you don’t want him to go. You’ve never experienced anything like that before. There were a few local farmers scattered far across the arid landscape of the place you used to call home, and three of your neighbors all had kids around your age. So you experimented when you were younger, since you never had much else to do in your spare time, but you never loved any of them. You’d always go back home and continue to do chores, continue to look up at the sky and wonder what you were missing.

“Yes,” you admit quietly.

But what you don’t tell her is that in exchange, you get to see the galaxy. You get to have experiences you’ve only dreamed about, take care of the cutest little baby you’ve ever seen and become part of a family. You don’t know of anything you could want more. Adventure, companionship, pleasure, and fulfillment. Sure, you get restless, and sure, you don’t necessarily feel good about the fact that Din seems to be your driving force even when he’s away, but you know independence. You know what it means to live for yourself. You’ve done it long enough that you’ll never forget how to, you’ve experienced it more than enough to know you’re happy about throwing yourself off the cliff and falling into something different. As much as it’s new and terrifying, it’s better. Now you have other people to live for, too.

You marvel at the change—not just from a year ago, but from a handful of months ago. He used to terrify you. You used to keep your mouth purposefully shut around him because you were scared of overstaying your welcome and being dropped off somewhere equally as remote as the place you grew up. Never could you have imagined that the fiercest guardian the galaxy has ever seen would decide you’re also worth protecting.

No, you figure, you just need to… find something in addition. Something else to also commit to, give yourself something to do. You can practice the new self-defense maneuvers he taught you, that’s a good idea. But maybe you can also…

You eventually decide to prompt Peli in a change in conversation. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“What do you want now?” She takes another sip of her caf as if you’ve been bothering her about this all day long, and… well, it’s times like these that you wish you had a helmet, too, if only so you could roll your eyes.

“I’ve got a few pieces of rusted metal in the Crest,” you eventually tell her, careful with your phrasing and not sure how much you want to reveal. “They’re in bad shape, but I want to keep them. Could I use some of your tools here to hammer out some of the dents, dissolve whatever crud is on the surface? I saw you have a forge back there that’s barely been used, just need the metal hot enough to be pliable without sacrificing its integrity.”

She furrows her eyebrows at you. “But I still need your help with…”

You wait, but she’s got nothing and you both know it. Still, you keep a pointed silence and wait for it, wondering if this’ll actually work. This is what Din does, right? Just refuse to say anything and make the other person crumble under the crushing quiet? Miraculously, it proves to be successful—you watch her flounder for a response, her will wavering the longer you sit there and stare expectantly at her.

“Fine,” Peli finally acquiesces, and you grin. “But only if you win this round. What d’you got?”

You set down your cards to reveal your hand. A perfect twenty-three if you’ve been counting right, unbeatable unless she or any of the droids managed to get the same, and you know it didn’t happen as soon as she takes a few seconds for mental math and then scoffs.

“Beginner’s luck,” you tell her kindly, pushing all your winnings back over to her side of the table with one hand and scooping the kid up with the other, before turning around and heading towards the Crest in search of Din’s old armor.

***

It’s late afternoon on day five and you’re on your back on a creeper seat, sweat dripping down your neck as you reach up to fiddle with the engine of a T-16, a Skyhopper similar to one you built yourself on Arvala-7. They're not space-faring vehicles, they’re only capable of reaching the upper troposphere, but owning one allowed you to develop solid flight skills without ever truly being able to leave. Honestly, you don’t think you’ve ever despised a ship more.

You know you’ve got engine grease all over and you feel like you’re boiling in your own sweat, but you’re almost done. After this, you’ll be able to go back to working on your side project.

As soon as you’d been granted Peli’s direct permission to do so, you mixed the chemicals necessary to eat away at everything besides the basic structure underneath, and then spent all day yesterday manipulating the metal to better fit someone your size and shape. You slaved over the wickedly hot forge and developed a whole new muscle in your arm from hammering and reheating, hammering and reheating. You had to repair the way the chestpiece was tapered into a concave point by folding the thin metal back in on itself multiple times, strengthening it without flattening it back into its original shape too much, and then you ended up melting down some of the extra material from the needlessly large shoulder and thigh pieces to fill in the gaps.

Granted, you still have a ways to go on replacing the crushed magnetics box that was falling off the chestpiece and filing down the rough scrapes and sharp edges, but you’re now left with almost a full set of armor that’s a uniform dull silver in color and molds way better to your general figure than before. You’re not a blacksmith or armorer by any stretch of the imagination, but you’re good with your hands and did what you could in the time allotted. It looks better than you ever thought it would, and without access to Peli’s enormous collection of tools and machinery, you know it would’ve been better off in the trash.

Still, you have to finish this engine first before you can rip apart the control unit wiring on the armor to see how the whole set fits together and what else needs to be repaired. You’ve been working on it for a few hours before you hear the door to the hangar open. Yet, when you don’t immediately hear Peli’s voice calling out to you, or anyone else’s voice for that matter, your heart thuds in your chest with sudden excitement.

“You’re back early,” you tell the engine suspended over your head, knowing he must’ve already thrown the quarry into the Crest parked outside before coming to see you. Right on time, footsteps approach and then a boot carefully catches the flat platform between your legs, slowly rolling your seat out from under the ship until the rest of the sunlit hangar is revealed to you.

You know you must look a hot mess right now. Your hair is a disaster and there’s not a clean spot to be found on your body—sweat glistens and pools along every curve you have and you’re probably drenching the spare jumpsuit Peli let you borrow, but Maker, there he is. Every time you see him is like the first time all over again, except this time the Mandalorian is looming like a giant over you, the helmet tilted down and silently taking you in.

Instead of settling you, his daunting presence gets you hotter than dual suns in the sky ever could. Fuck, he hasn’t said a word to greet you, and yet you’re already wondering if you can entice him to shove you back under here and join you.

You slowly push yourself upright and he steps back just enough to allow it, but not an inch more than that. You have to crane your neck up to keep looking at him, and he stands close enough over you that you wouldn’t have to reach far at all if you wanted to touch him.

And it’s crazy to think that… you absolutely could touch him, if you wanted. He radiates danger, he hunts and tracks for his continued survival, he’s probably got fresh blood staining the dark fabric of his cape and he’s so fucking intimidating—and if you wanted to, you could touch him.

Maybe you can partially blame your sore muscles as to why you immediately drop your head back down, but mostly you just want to stare at a part of his body that happens to align perfectly at eye level. And fuck, nothing stops you from looking. He doesn’t help you up, but he also doesn’t move so you can haul yourself to your feet, either. He just holds perfectly still with his body standing tall over yours, content to stay exactly like this while your hand slowly reaches out to wrap around one of his ankles.

He’s so warm, his muscles flex strong under your palm as you let it drift upwards, biting your lip as you flick your gaze back up to the chrome visor and then down again to the apex of his thighs. Your other hand comes up to scale the beskar strapped to his leg and you roll yourself forward slightly, wondering if he’d let you…

The black fabric stretching over his crotch just barely touches your fingertips before his hand is suddenly whipping out and grabbing hold of your wrist.

You gasp and jerk your head up to look at him, somehow equally hoping that you’re both in trouble and not in it at the same time. Din’s abruptly chest raises with a large, labored inhale, as if he wasn’t breathing at all that entire time, as if he just now remembered the setting, the fact that he’s not alone on the Crest with you right now. Peli and the kid have to be somewhere in the hangar, you know that, but…

“We’re leaving tonight,” he breathes out through the modulator, and you have absolutely no fucking problem with that at all. “But… shit, but…”

“But…?” You prompt, wanting nothing more than to let your hands reach back up to his pants again, but you settle for slowly dragging one palm up his forearm as his grip on your wrist tightens.

“Fuck, I wanted to take you somewhere first,” he groans like your feather-soft touch is actually hurting him, his hands suddenly dropping yours and pushing you away to clench into fists at his sides. “Maker—why do you always f-fucking do this to me…”

You raise an eyebrow at him this time, the curiosity starting to mix with the heat simmering down low, the kind that you'd feel even on a frozen wasteland of a planet as long as you were with him. All at once, you decide to channel him and his trademarked silence, enthralled by the incredibly slim chance that it will work equally as well on its creator.

“…Distract me,” he finally growls out an answer to the question you never asked him, sounding frustrated with you for reasons you still haven’t figured out, and your mouth is drier than the desert outside. Oh stars, you feel… fucking powerful. “From everything,” he goes on, talking honestly and openly, more words given to you in thirty seconds than he’s probably offered to anyone all week long. “Fuck, I feel like I can barely do fucking anything anymore, I’m losing my fucking mind.”

Your heart slams in your chest, wondering if he possibly feels the exact same way about you as you feel about him. Missing you whenever he’s gone, dreading the moment he needs to leave again whenever he’s with you. The thought alone is enough to set off fireworks through your veins, pumping hope and excitement from your fingers to your toes.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe out, biting your lip in a way that doesn’t look or feel sorry at all.

“No, you’re not,” Din grunts, before reaching out and hauling you to your feet, and even if there wasn’t a flat seat under you with wheels, it’d still be awkward and uncoordinated as fuck. “Shit. I… I need to clean up. Grab your things, go tell…”

Din trails off after a second, suddenly sounding at a complete loss. You catch your footing and stare at him as he falters. “Uh. Go tell…” He gestures with a sense of finality to the control room, as if he’s actually successfully communicating with you by doing so. “Her. That we’re leaving tonight.”

“What?” You ask him, thoroughly fucking confused. “What are you saying right now?”

“The woman,” he clarifies, clearing his throat. “The mechanic, with the… droids. Tell her I’ll pay her before we leave, but we’re g—”

“Peli?” You blurt, completely flabbergasted at this point. “Did you forget her name, Mando?”

“I…” he shakes his head slightly at you, like you should already know him better than that. “Never asked.”

“But you—?” You blink at him. “But you said she was your friend?”

“You said she was my friend,” he immediately points out, with—oh Maker, just biting accuracy. It wasn’t necessarily a jab or anything, but you still feel dizzy with how fucking spot on he is about it. Yikes, you absolutely did say that. You forgot.

“Oh…” you mumble, at a stunning loss for a response. “Ha. Oh. Yeah, huh.”

There’s too many beats of awkward silence after that, probably because he’s just so blown away by your way with words that he’s just attempting to analyze the wisdom. Stars, you’re making a complete fool of yourself in front of him, aren’t you?

“Were you jealous?” He suddenly asks, and you jerk upright, your heart kicking up to a gallop in your chest at the question.

“I’ll go tell Peli we’re leaving soon,” you quickly agree and go to scurry away in abrupt panic, but he catches your wrist and hauls you back before you can get far. You run into him with a gasp and immediately start to repeat your explanation for why you very suddenly need to depart, but the tips of Din’s fingers catch your chin and force you to look up at him.

“Hey,” he cuts your rambling short with a hushed murmur and the pad of his thumb brushes down your jaw. “Tell me the truth.”

You don’t have an answer that won’t be incriminating, and you don’t think you can get the delivery right on a lie, not to him and especially not when he’s got you so cornered. So you just keep completely silent and look up at him like a scolded child would. Innocent, wide-eyed and scared shitless about the unknown consequences of your actions.

His helmet slowly tilts as he studies you, watching you look up at him for help. His fingers gradually spread out across your jaw, flattening under the curve of your throat but so gentle, so careful that you’re almost worried he actually is mad.

“I’m sorry,” you immediately offer before he can say anything, your eyebrows pulling up in the middle. “I’m so sorry, it’s just—I just…”

His thumb carefully stretches up to brush your bottom lip, and you… Mind blank, no thoughts. Stars, you’ve got fucking nothing.

“I’ve got nothing,” you admit, giving up before you can even try. “There’s no reason. I was jealous. It’s stupid and I wasn’t going to say anything because I know it’s stupid, and I shouldn’t feel possessive over you but I do, and it’s stupid. I don’t want anyone else to know you the way I know you, and I’m really sorry if that makes you feel weird, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t have—”

Your chin lifts slightly with the gentlest movement of his hand and the subtle pressure is enough to cut your mindless oversharing off. Din’s voice lowers until it’s throaty and quiet.

“See that wall?” He asks, keeping the visor pinned to you while carefully turning his hand to the right, and your whole head easily follows the movement as he guides it. You have to blink your eyes into focus a few times, but then you immediately see what he’s talking about. It’s a partition separating the welding room from the rest of the hangar. He waits until you nod in the cradle of his palm, before leaning in and murmuring to you. “If we were alone, I’d take you around behind it and show you exactly how that makes me feel.”

You pull back from him with a startled gasp just as a voice calls out from the entrance of the hangar. “Well, look who finally decided to come back!”

Din slowly drops his arms and stares at you for just long enough to make you seriously worry that he’s going to say fuck it all and do it anyways, before finally turning around and greeting Peli with another silent nod.

She plants one hand on her hip once she’s standing right in front of him, cradling the kid on with her other arm, and you have to take a second to collect yourself now that you’re not at the direct center of his attention anymore. “Sure did take you long enough, didn’t it?”

“I’m two days early,” he grunts in his immediate defense, but it’s like she doesn’t hear him.

“You’re leaving soon I hope,” she drawls while handing the baby over to him, who makes an adorable little happy squeak at seeing his dad again. “You owe me five hundred credits.”

“It was five hundred for the full week,” he reminds her, and… he has a point. Though it was never part of the agreement, you wonder if she’ll be willing to accept less compensation for having the burden of your company be lifted early.

“Five days count as a full week, far as I’m concerned,” she shoots back, and your heart suddenly sinks when Din’s shoulders tighten and he doesn’t respond.

“Peli…” you sigh from behind him before you even realize you’ve spoken aloud.

Your host quickly sidesteps your bodyguard to eye you dubiously, and at the same time, you also jolt and wonder what your goal is here exactly. You’re ultimately just attempting to diffuse any tension sparking between them, you figure, knowing you’re probably the best mediator here. She looks at you up and down for a long time, hard and judging, before the baby babbles something wordlessly and she sighs.

“I suppose we can just call it even,” she finally huffs, turning back to him. “You’re lucky your girlfriend earned her keep, Mando.”

And then your jaw drops. Holy shit, is she serious? You assumed Peli valued credits above almost anything else, you never expected her to just… turn down the entire offer like that, so willingly. Clearly Din didn’t either, because you both just stand there for a moment in front of her in a baffled silence.

Also… girlfriend?

Is that what you are to him? Admittedly you haven’t talked to him about what to call your relationship, but then again, you’re a practical person and you never really saw a specific need to do so. You care about him, he cares about you—what else is important? You don’t need a title to recognize your value to him, and for some odd reason, calling yourself his “girlfriend” just feels like you’re a teenager again. If you were actually looking for a different word to use instead, you wouldn’t be able to find it, but you know that one just feels… not enough. Not old enough, not encompassing enough, not complex enough. It’s an elementary school version of what this is. And to refer to someone like Din as your boyfriend? Maker, just saying it aloud would probably make his eye twitch.

“Uh.” He stands there awkwardly, and you’re so blown away by both the sentiment and specific verbiage she used that you’re practically useless at this point. Shit, what’s beyond girlfriend, you wonder? Lover? No, not good enough. Partner? No. No, not wife, definitely fucking not— “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peli waves him away and spins around to leave, but not before throwing one final thing over her shoulder. “That ain’t an open invitation to come back, by the way.”

All of a sudden, you just can’t stop yourself from breaking out into a wide grin, tucking your chin in hopes that she won’t see it with her back turned and decide to pounce on the display of weakness. The three of you watch her stride out of the room and immediately bark an order at one of her droids to get back to work, who starts looking around in desperate search of something to do, and Din’s palm finds its usual place on your lower back as she disappears.

“What a nice lady,” you offer to him, and he gives you a wordless grumble in response.

***

So it’s a couple hours later and you think the kid might actually have the right idea this time.

You find yourself wishing you had a little hover pod of your own that followed Din around, one you could close the lid on and hide in while blaster fire whistles through the air around you like the baby is currently doing. You’re trying to listen to instructions—you’re trying, but there’s a lot going on here. Voices chatting, guns firing, targets being pinged, a lively little band playing in the cantina next door.

When Din first led you through Mos Eisley and inside this specific adobe hut, if you’re being completely honest, you had hoped for food. A comparatively large restaurant, perhaps? Peli didn’t starve you by any stretch of the imagination, but her dinners were the exact same every single night, and you’ve learned to thrive on new things. While you didn’t necessarily think he was going to take you on a… a date, or anything, you certainly didn’t expect him to take you to a shooting range.

Well. Now that you think about it, this might actually be a date.

Luckily you’re hidden away in the furthest firing partition from the door, but even without the near-constant barrage of gunfire to your left, the distractions are still plentiful. The kid actually reached down and pressed the button to close his crib himself as soon as the bright beams of plasma started zooming past and reflecting in his large black eyes, and oh how you wish that were you. You don’t necessarily feel like you’re in danger or anything, but you’ve also never seen so many guns in one place before and you’re worried you’re accidentally going to hurt someone else.

So far Din has taught you the fundamentals for any firearm—always keep the safety on until you’re ready to fire, never point at anything unless you’re a hundred percent willing to shoot it, yada yada yada—and also the safety fundamentals for blasters specifically. So, making sure there’s no leaks in the gas cylinder when you first load it, never letting a strong magnet get near the power pack, checking the surface of your target for deflection curves if you want to prevent a ricochet, or maybe in his case, inspire one. He’s taught you your stance, he’s taught you how to read your sights, now all that’s left is just to… shoot.

Your arms raise up in front of you and the metal feels too heavy and awkward in your hands, and you have to hold the handle in your left and creep your right index finger all the up the side of the barrel until you feel the indented safety switch. It clicks and you reset your grip to slowly ease your finger onto the trigger, staring down the sight, right at the bullseye. Din is standing directly behind you next to the kid’s tightly closed hovering pod, arms crossed and just waiting for you to pull it.

Come on beginner’s luck, come on beginner’s luck—

You fire, and… well. You don’t think you’ve ever seen a shot miss its target that spectacularly in your entire life. You’re almost surprised the beam of plasma didn’t somehow ricochet back into the booth you’re both standing in, that’s how spectacularly you missed.

“Try again.”

There’s no amusement in his voice, nothing mocking about it. Pure monotone under the helmet, as if he was just naturally expecting that to happen.

No, you think in frustration. You want to surprise him again, impress him with how quickly you can pick things up, turn him on like last time. You just fucking know that would get to him—seeing you easily hit the target dead center with his own blaster, you know that would get to him.

You adjust your aim and fire a few more times. Miss, miss, wild miss, miss. Fuck, so many distractions, plasma flying in the corner of your vision and an increasingly heavy gaze from behind you. Another miss, a miss, yeesh that’s a miss—

Alright, so you're just embarrassing yourself at this point.

“I think it’s broken,” you shrug in defeat, taking a second to find the safety switch and toggle it before going to set the gun down on the raised adobe platform separating the line of booths from the targets—but then Din suddenly snatches the blaster from your grip and extends his arm over your shoulder, firing off six rounds in rapid succession so wickedly fast that you jump backwards into his rock solid chest in surprise. He doesn’t give an inch under the collision and even wraps his forearm tight around your tummy as he hits the bullseye with such deadly accurate precision that even the char marks and the line of smoke left wafting from the target’s center are razor-thin.

“Works just fine,” he grunts, setting the weapon back down again before urging you forward a bit. “Go ahead, give it another shot.”

But you’re on a remarkable delay, just trying to process his sheer speed, how fluid and seamless the entire fucking motion was. Fucking Maker, blink and you’d miss the whole thing. He waited to grab the gun from you until you turned the safety on, but then… then how did he fire it so insanely fucking fast? That’s like five different things he had to do with one single hand within a split second…?

“I turned the safety on,” you blink down at the blaster, clearly just trying to process.

“Yeah,” he agrees blankly, as if he’s unsure as to what specifically you’re so stuck on right now.

“So how did you toggle so fas—?”

He picks it from the shelf gracefully and lightning quick—as if he just can’t help but go that speed around his weapon—and then he twists it on its side, flexing his wrist back until the barrel is pointed upwards and you can clearly see his index finger extend all the way up to the safety switch, flipping it up and down while his middle finger rests over the trigger guard.

“How in the f…?” You mutter, lifting your hand up next to his and positioning your fingers in the exact same L shape, only the tip of your index finger barely stretches an inch shy of the switch. “Psh,” you huff, dropping your arm back down again. “Design flaw.”

“For you,” he acknowledges, using the trigger guard to flip it back to its proper position in his hand like fucking spinning it like that is just the easiest and most natural way to handle the deadly weapon. “This gun was made for me, it’s a feature. Yours would be smaller and lighter, have the safety towards the back of the chamber instead of along the barrel.”

The words and the casual display of ability cause a rush of stirring excitement to burst forth inside you, suddenly giddy at the very thought.

“Wait,” you draw the word out with a grin, leaning back into him and gently nudging him with your elbow to make sure he knows you’re only mostly joking. “You gonna buy me a blaster, Mando? I did earn my keep this week, didn’t I?”

“Have to find one that fits a big enough sight first,” he mutters while setting the gun down on the table, and you scoff at him as his hands come to rest on your hips. They squeeze and try to guide you forwards once again. “Prove that you can at least hit the target with mine and we’ll see.”

“You only get to make fun of me if you give me a real answer,” you rule, planting your feet and refusing to budge.

“Okay, but we both know I’ll make fun of you anyways,” he sighs, and you have to dig your heels in and push back into him to keep yourself rooted to the spot.

“You’re not being a very encouraging teacher,” you accuse without trying to hide your grin. “In fact I feel very discouraged right now and I think that y—”

But then Din suddenly tips his helmet closer to your ear and lowers his voice, cutting you off. “Did you know that gifting someone a weapon is considered a proposal of marriage on Mandalore?”

Your smile quickly drops and you gasp, wholly startled at the implication and immediately trying to spin around to look at him. “Holy shit, are you serious?”

“No,” comes his modulated grunt, tightening his hold and keeping you firmly facing forwards. “Of course not. Pick up the gun.”

Okay.

Okay, so that one gets you.

You immediately start giggling, painfully aware that this isn’t the time or place for it, but that one actually fucking got you. Din easily guides and parks your gullible ass in front of the window carved out of dried mud before picking up the blaster himself and forcing you to hold it with your loose hands, grumbling under his breath.

Shit, okay, focus. Focus, you can do this. You clear the laughter from your throat and suddenly get deadly serious, staring your target down like it’s personally gone out of its way to ruin your entire life. The blaster feels cold in your palms but not when Din’s hands wrap warm and tight around the back of yours, letting you hold the gun how it’s most comfortable for you before gently settling his fingers down over yours. His chestpiece presses tight against your shoulder blades when he guides the gun up and out, and his arms are long enough to extend yours fully even though he’s behind you and still has some bend to his elbows. He uses his feet to kick your ankles apart until they’re shoulder-width and then you both carefully find the trigger together.

He’s quiet and slow about it and the whole thing is one giant fucking turn-on. Maker, chill out. Chill out, he’s teaching you how to shoot. This is important stuff, there are people around, chill out…

Din takes a moment to aim the barrel and his hold is so fucking steady, so unwavering and strong. You wonder if it’d be too obvious if you pushed your hips back a little, you might be able to feel his—

“Fire,” Din murmurs next to your ear, and you pull the trigger without a second thought.

The bright red plasma beam launches from the end of the blaster and hits the target dead center. You gasp, pulling the trigger again, and unsurprisingly, it’s another perfect shot.

He suddenly lets go of your arms and takes a small step back, but the second he removes his body from yours, the rounds start bouncing wildly off the edges of the target. Your eyebrows furrow and you try to emulate how you think the angle felt before, but you can’t find it anymore and you’re just failing spectacularly.

When you decide to pause for a second, Din steps up close behind you and wraps his arms around you once more. You can feel the exact moment he’s locked in his aim, and you fire wordlessly as soon as you know it’s going to hit. Bullseye, right on the nose.

This time, he lifts just his hands away from yours, staying perfectly still otherwise and you swear you don’t move a single fucking muscle in your entire body before pulling the trigger, but it still hits the far corner of the target.

“It’s broken,” you shrug once again, and Din drops his helmet to your shoulder with a sigh. “This gun was made for you, which means there’s obviously some mod you have installed that reads biometrics and ruins the shot no matter how good it—”

“Not even close, but that’s not a bad idea,” he tells you, watching you click the safety on and set the uncooperative blaster down. “I can’t figure out what you’re doing wrong. Are you just distracted?”

Uh, fuck yeah you are. So much is going on and more than that, he’s here and he’s just… fuck, you know what he meant when he said he felt like he was losing his mind. He’s your biggest distraction, all the time. He’s still standing so close to you and the baby is still isolated and tucked away in his hovering sphere, and you take a moment to think about it.

Yes, it’s… it’s possible that you may learn better by example than anything else.

“Can I watch you do it?” You ask him, and Din shrugs before reaching around you and quickly grabbing the blaster from its mud shelf. “Wait—” you tell him while he raises and extends his arm over your shoulder, and then you wiggle sideways as much as possible in the small booth to squeeze around behind him. He doesn’t say anything as you swap places with him and scoot up behind him, but you can tell by his body language that he’s confused. You wonder if he liked that position and watching you shoot his gun, even if you’re complete shit at it.

He stands in front of you for a second and you give him an encouraging, “Okay,” to let him know you’re ready, but then the helmet turns back to look at the target like he’s still unsure as to what you want specifically. You keep your mouth shut and let him figure it out. You meant what you said—you want to watch him shoot. You want to watch him where he’s infamous, watch him do what he’s best at and let completely loose in front of you.

As if it finally clicks for him, Din turns to face the target and suddenly throws the blaster into his left hand while reaching down and pushing a button hidden under the hollow platform with his right. You have to lean around his broad shoulders to watch the target slide backwards on its track easily triple the distance before squeaking and slamming to a stop. Din stretches his non-dominant hand out and subtly tilts his helmet before firing six times, easily hitting the bullseye with just as much accuracy as before, and you frown when you notice the only shots that have actually hit the target so far have all been dead center.

He sets the gun down and stands there for a second, staring across the range like it’s nothing at all to him and it’s… remarkable. Not that he’s a wicked shot, you’ve known that the second you laid eyes on his armor all those months ago. No, it’s just… you would think this is where he’d thrive, if anywhere. The entire place is full of smugglers, raiders, scavengers, mercenaries—occupations that define themselves by their grit. They’re talking as much as they’re shooting, conversing in languages you’ve never heard but suspect Din easily understands. But instead of fitting in, he’s just… there. He doesn’t look comfortable, but he also doesn’t look uncomfortable, either. He doesn’t look like he’s having any fun at all.

None of this is considered a hobby to him, you suddenly realize. It’s not fun because he’s too good at it. This is life. This is going back to school for the most basic fundamentals of a job he’s excelled at for decades—it’s not interesting, he’s gaining absolutely nothing from practicing.

You try to think of the last time you’ve seen him truly in his element. You think back on all the different settings—he looked out of place on Canto Bight, got into fights on Corellia, hated Coruscant, seemed stressed on Nevarro, and even on Naboo, even in the middle of paradise, he looked unsure if he actually deserved to be there with you. Now here on Tatooine, where he has real people that he trusts, where he’s surrounded by like-minded individuals shooting his favorite things in the world, it’s like he’s still not able to fully let go.

Is it just you, you wonder? Does he stand out more just because you’re the one looking?

No, you think. No. You have seen him relax. You’ve seen him laugh before, you’ve seen him be himself with you.

But… only with you. A hardened bounty hunter that much prefers the company of a young woman and an infant to literally anyone else in the galaxy.

Fuck. Why does that turn you on so fucking much? It’s the display of prowess, the sheer skill he’s developed, how fucking deadly he is—and how you’ve felt him use that trigger finger to trace slow circles around your clit. The Mandalorian standing with his blaster raised has probably been the last thing too many people have ever seen in their lifetimes, and yet watching from this angle just makes you feel protected, guarded, and… so fucking horny for him.

“Do it again,” you eventually murmur, touching both your palms to his back this time just to feel it. You want to feel him shoot, you want to feel his muscles move with it. You want to touch how mechanically he’s able to aim, you want to know if he’s loose or tense when he fires, you just want to… feel it.

Din grabs the gun and as he extends his arms out, you slide your hands up his back to rest under his shoulders. He’s so broad, he feels so warm and strong, and his trigger releases are so steady that nothing above his wrists move.

Shit, before he’s even finished setting the blaster back down again, you’re already scooting up behind him as close as possible and carefully slithering your arms around his waist, hugging your body tight to his back. Din stays completely still while your mouth presses against the fabric of his cape and your hands begin to slowly slide down his stomach.

He doesn’t say a damn thing, which makes it even hotter for some reason. There’s no warning he gives you, no low growl of your name or sweet girl being dragged through the modulator. He stays completely silent and holds there while blasters continue to fire from stalls to your left, and it gives you the thrill of your lifetime. Big strong man holding perfectly still for you to touch in the middle of a crowded room.

Your hand slips under his waistband and sink down low until you can trail your fingertips along his cock, hidden from sight beneath the edge of the clay shelf. The small sound you make at feeling it already firm and at attention for you gets lost in the noise of the shooting range, but you wrap your palm around it and give it a good, slow pull upwards, feeling Din’s back expand with a breath from the sensation.

“Do it again,” you whisper into his shoulder blade, slowly playing with his cock in his pants with one hand while keeping the other wrapped tight around his abdomen.

Din immediately snatches the blaster off the platform and fires it the very moment he takes aim, and you can feel his cock pulse in your palm as he lets off the shots. Dead center, as always, but he clunks the metal back down with a bit more force this time and then lingers his fingertips at the sloped edge of it for a second, as if he’s considering whether or not he should hold onto it.

You’re already wet between your legs, but it gets worse the longer he allows you to keep doing this. His skin is furnace-hot and he throbs for you, and you trail your thumb up to check—oh, Maker, he’s leaking for you, too. You drag the pad of your thumb over the tip and gently rub the wetness along the curve of his head, before easing back down to give the shaft another slow pull.

A quiet puff of air comes through the vocal filter, but that’s all you audibly get out of him. Still, it’s more than enough to fill you with a wicked heat and a desperate desire for more. So you bite your lip and glance around just to double-check that nobody else has wandered over behind you and the kid is still tucked away in his crib, probably passed out in the secluded darkness at this point. And then you barely take a split-second to consider it before your knees are bending and you’re slowly sinking down the length of his body.

Din is a fucking statue. He doesn’t do anything to allow your wiggling underneath the raised platform anymore than he widens his stance to prevent it. Once you’re on your knees in front of him in the dim isolation of your hiding spot though, he takes a single step forward and pins his waist to the hardened clay above your head, and a thrill skitters through you at being completely walled in on all four sides.

You reach up to hook your fingertips in his hem of his trousers and begin pulling them down, so tight and achy between your legs that you want to shove your hand down between them already. You don’t though, not yet, because you need two hands to be extra careful in getting his cock out. You don’t even want the fabric of his pants to touch it, you want your mouth to be the only sensation he knows here.

At the very last second, you decide to pull the waistband down far enough to let his balls rest outside the confining clothing, getting increasingly hotter at the thought that this isn’t going to be sneaky and dirty, even if you’re in public. Din’s wide stance and the floor-length cape hide you perfectly from any prying eyes behind his back, so it’s going to be soft and it’s going to be slow and he’s going to be comfortable while you go down on him.

Your mouth is already watering, so you bend down just slightly and lift your chin to gently drag your tongue along the smooth skin of his balls before anything else. Honestly—you don’t think he’s expecting you to go there first, because his whole body suddenly jerks at the velvet soft sensation between his legs and you let out a low hum in response. He can’t reach you down here unless he tries to, so you scoot your knees up a little bit and just decide to go for it. This way he won’t be able to get it confused, he won’t pull you out from under here halfway through when you suck on his balls before anything else. This is what you want from him, what’s right here in your mouth.

You switch to the other one and Din twitches with a filtered breath, the skin already tightening up and responding gorgeously under your tongue. His hand hovers somewhere near the raised platform above your head, fingers curling in his leather gloves and caught right between stopping you and letting you continue. While he allows it, you ease your way up and make it just tantalizing enough to make him ache without providing any real stimulation, slowly trailing your tongue up the length of his cock and pressing plush lips to the flared head.

Din exhales a shakily while you take your time, tasting the precum as his body produces it, just kissing and licking and purposefully refusing to touch him with anything besides your mouth. Without being able to see the rest of him from this angle, you're left to your own devices—you’re so gentle and soft about the pleasure that you start to separate the man from the throbbing erection you’re currently playing with. You begin to enjoy yourself without thinking too much about the struggle he must be withstanding right now, you moan softly against his heated skin even though you know you’re being a tease at the worst possible moment, but no matter how you decide to take your time with it, Din continues to allow it. He endures. Silent, perfectly still, until you eventually decide to wrap your lips around the head of his cock and flutter your tongue up underneath it.

But then he jumps and your eyes open when a deep, unkind voice from the stall to your left calls out, “Hey, Mando! Gonna fuckin’ shoot or just stand there, huh?”

You can hear his immediate frustration in the blaster scraping against the shelf over your head, and you moan softly around his cock the second you feel him tense and start firing. The smooth skin pulses on your tongue and you slide your fingers around the backs of his knees, opening your throat and slowly taking him deeper.

And, for a man that has repeatedly fired six perfect shots every single time he picks up his gun, he falters after just three this time.

The heat of your mouth must be too overwhelming. Too fucking good, too detrimental to his focus and composure to even perform the most basic tasks he typically excels at. Like a seasoned mathematician that suddenly struggles to count to ten, a renowned author that can’t recite their ABC’s—Mando can’t even fire a weapon right now and it’s all because of you.

He has to keep trying though, he has to make an actual effort now that you both know someone nearby is paying at least some sort of attention to his performance. The sound of more plasma arcing through the air over your head slowly disappears into the background in a way that it never could while you were the one firing—you’re completely hidden and safe down here, you can moan low in your throat while keeping your hands around his knees and begin to bob your head without another thought or worry whatsoever. Handling it is all on him. He just needs to stay quiet, be still, and shoot his gun. It should be the simplest thing in the galaxy for him, right?

Wrong. So wrong. You hear the way the bolts are pinging off the sides of the target now, you listen to him grunt and let off a few more shots that also sound like they miss. Your soft palate lifts and you’re practically drenching yourself at how wide he stretches your throat while you take him down as far as you can, and there’s a moment where you’re holding there and you think about doing something about the dull ache throbbing between your legs. But once you pull off him for air and automatically touch your drooling tongue to your palm, you decide this is what you want more.

Your slick hand wraps around his cock and starts to slowly jerk him off while your mouth moves down to attach to his balls once more, your touch gliding strong and wet along his entire length. Din almost doubles over into the platform, his hips stuttering up for the first time at the hard stimulation you’re finally giving him. His skin swells and tightens in your mouth—you can feel the tension locking his thighs down, you can hear the shots above you start to decrease in frequency, and you know he’s already close.

So you move back up to suck on the head of his cock again and slowly swirl your tongue around it, continuing to use your hand to pull steady and firm on the rest of his shaft, and you just close your eyes and wait for him to give you what you want. His firing soon stops altogether and you squeeze your finger between your thighs and press hard against your clit, just needing to relieve some of the ache. You keep doing that, you keep drawing circles with your tongue while slowly jerking the rest of him off into your mouth, and at some point, it all just becomes too much for him.

“Shit,” Din gasps, along with the sudden sound of metal skittering against the clay above you, and your eyes pop open in surprise. “Ah, sh—shhhhh—”

Maker, did he just drop his fucking gun?

You start to pull back, but then suddenly a trembling hand shoots down and clutches tight under your throat, hooking hard behind your jaw to make sure you stay right there.

His cock starts throbbing and he shudders, slamming his other palm on the shelf and cumming hard in your mouth. You’re already swallowing before he even gives you anything but Maker, you’re fucking desperate for it that your hand moves to curl your fingers against the exposed skin at his hips as if that’ll somehow help you get it sooner. The first taste of him comes as soon as you dig in and drag your nails down his flesh, and Din is helpless to do anything else besides clutch your jaw tight and gasp raggedly while emptying himself down your throat.

He shakes and shudders and you don’t spill a single drop, clutching his hips and pulling him close to keep him in your mouth, and as he slowly comes down from that plateau, you lick every inch of him clean. His fingers gradually lose their rigidity around your jaw and eventually, his fingers drop down to press gently against your throat while his hips pull back.

He slips from your mouth and you wipe the wetness from your chin, staring up at his cock wistfully and almost wanting to keep going. Is that fucked up, you wonder? What would he think?

He hasn’t moved yet, why isn’t he moving? Your job is clearly finished here, no matter what kind of way you may feel about that. The coast must not be clear, you have to assume. Perhaps someone is wandering around behind him, maybe he’s still being cautious about the nosy person next door—all you know is that you can tell he wants to move but he isn’t, which likely means he can’t. You know his cock must be so unbelievably sensitive right now, but he’s not easing his body back far enough away from the shelf to tuck it into his pants. He’s keeping it right in front of your face and expecting you to stay there until he deems it appropriate for you to get up.

The longer you wait for him to step back and let you out from under here, the more your need sparks and grows. What would he think? That you’re so desperate for his cock that you still want it in your mouth even when it’s soft and spent? Maker, he’d be fucking right on the money.

At some point, you can’t stop yourself. You lean back up to slowly take his soft cock back in your mouth, and Din nearly spasms while you slip your hand under your waistband and widen your knees.

You don’t do anything spectacular to it—you’re not that cruel—but you do hold him on the heat of your tongue and keep him there, fluttering your eyes closed as your finger finally touches your clit. Air puffs shakily through your nostrils and you think Din is actually shaking harder than you are, his body fighting oversensitivity while yours starts the race towards bliss. He doesn’t stop you but it also feels like he’s purposefully trying not to, like everything in him is rebelling against the wet heat of your mouth but knowing you’re only doing this because you’re so painfully turned on. You’re doing this because you need it, in spite of the electric shocks of wicked sensation it seems to be inspiring in him.

Your finger speeds up and you start gently sucking on the warm, giving flesh, and his hand trembles as it grabs at your hair. Fuck, you don’t care if he thinks you’re desperate—you want him to recognize it, you want him to know exactly how much you love his cock—

That thought sends a dark thrill down your spine and pleasure burns bright and needy where you’re still rubbing your clit, dropping your hips and rolling them forwards against your hand. And oh, your only lament is that you wish he was the one doing this. You wish Din was building your pleasure instead of letting you use his body in search of your own, you wish it was his hand working between your legs and about to shove you over that ledge, but then again. Something about this whole fucking scene is just so… undignified. Debased. And you’re getting off on it, quicker than you ever thought possible.

When you cum, you’re good and you don’t make a single sound when you cum. You squeeze your eyes shut and your entire body jolts with every single shattering wave of ecstasy, and Din tugs a handful of your hair and slowly rocks his hips once, twice, fucking your mouth while you endure wildfire burning through your veins. By the time you finish convulsing on the fucking floor of a Tatooinian gun range, you know you can go for another and probably get it equally as quick as that one, but Din is already pulling his cock out of your mouth and shoving it back into his pants. You’re like jelly as your elbow is immediately caught in his arm and you’re hauled up from your hiding spot, dazed and disoriented.

The chrome visor stares you down and you want to shrink in on yourself, thinking he’s going to take your happy ass back to the Crest. You should be in trouble, you know you should be in trouble. Leaving the recesses of your dark cubby and coming face to face with your surroundings brings a brand new clarity to light—you totally should not have done any of that. He was trying to teach you, for Maker’s sake. He was taking the time to show you the valuable knowledge he’s gained regarding weaponry and self-defense. Fuck, you even told him on Naboo that you wanted to shoot a gun, and he brought you here to do just that.

Except then he just spins you around and picks up the blaster from the adobe ledge in front of you, placing it firmly in your hands.

“Okay,” he pants quietly next to your ear, breathing hard and shallow through the helmet. “Now you should be able to focus, right?”

Fuck… Fuck, is he serious? You can barely hold the damn thing, you’re shaking so hard. How does this work again? What does this do?

“Wh-What?” You croak—fuck, your voice is gone. “I… I can’t—”

“Try,” he encourages, helping your comparatively tiny hands flip off the safety but other than that, stepping back and leaving you to it. Completely and hopelessly lost, you weakly twist around to watch him stand next to the kid’s closed metallic shield. “Hit the target,” Din reiterates with a nod, trying to catch his breath. “You can do it.”

You look back out with unfocused eyes to see it still all the way on the far end of its track, and there’s just absolutely no fucking way. “I… can’t.”

“Hit the target and we can go home,” he tells you, and while you don’t exactly know what home is anymore, something tells you it’s somewhere in hyperspace. A resting baby, a metal floor, a pitch black hull, and your cheek pressed against a warm chest.

It sounds… wonderful.

Inspiring a newfound kind of desire in you, you lift your arms as best you can and work so, so hard to keep them steady. The target is in your sights and you do your absolute best—fuck, you really do, but you pull the trigger and the shot sadly bounces off the edge.

You drop your hands, already defeated and drained. “I can’t.”

“Hit the target and I’ll buy you a blaster,” he ups the ante, and you instantly lift your dead arms again. Fuck, come on, come on, you can do this.

You shoot. Nope. So you shoot again. And then you shoot again, and again, minutely adjusting your wrists purely based on where the bright red plasma is landing and ignoring the scope entirely.

“A nice one,” he continues over the pew pew pew of you just continuing to fucking miss, fucking miserably, over and over again. “Expensive. Hand-crafted, one of a kind…”

Miss, miss, miss, and—no. Just, no. There’s only so much glaring failure you can take before you snap. You finally stop shooting and growl in frustration, going to slam the metal down on its resting place. “Mando, I ca—”

“Hit the target and I’ll marry you,” he says quietly, and you freeze just before impact.

… What? N… No…

Miraculously, you somehow manage to calmly switch the safety on and set the blaster down before turning back to see the helmet staring at you, unmoving.

You… you know it must just be a joke, right? Just a stupid extension to the one he made earlier, it must be. You blink dumbly at him and flick your gaze between the visor and two large black eyes staring at you from the crib, wondering if you glitched or if you’re just hallucinating.

“Uh…” you hear yourself say, even though you’ve got absolutely nothing, but Din doesn’t offer anything else to fill in the gaps of your startled misunderstanding. If you didn’t have such a wild fucking reaction to the words, you'd probably wonder if he actually said them or not—that’s how much he gives away. Silent, so unbelievably silent when you’re begging him to give you at least something. Is he messing with you again? Is he just that confident that you’re going to fail?

It takes forever for you to turn back around and face the target, but you eventually do when he refuses to elaborate. Your heart slams in your chest and you wonder what you’re doing even attempting this.

The moment you lift your trembling arms is the moment you know your heart is pounding too fast—your finger twitches with the wild rush of blood flow and you end up pulling the trigger way before you’re ready. You fire before you’ve checked your sights, you fire before you’ve taken any sort of aim whatsoever, you fire spontaneously enough to surprise even yourself and it—

—it hits dead center.

Your stomach drops and a jolt of some rabid feeling punches through you, you have no idea what it is. You whip around so fast that you get dizzy, seeing him standing there, completely still.

“That was just beginner’s luck,” you quickly reassure him, suddenly feeling faint. Holy shit, holy shit, what the fuck just happened? “Listen—hey, no, listen, I can’t get it again,” you explain shrilly to the utterly dead silence from him. “Look, watch this, double or nothing.”

You spin back around, well aware that absolutely nothing about what you just said or what just happened made any fucking sense at all. Beginner’s luck when you’ve been consistently awful at this, telling him repeatedly to listen when you’re very, very fucking aware he hasn’t said anything, double or nothing on a literal proposal as if double marriage is something that actually exists?

No. Shut up. Don’t even think that word, don’t think about fucking anything. Fire, fire without thinking, just lift the gun and pull the trigger—

You do, and oh. Oh, no.

“Uh?!” Your voice comes out on a squeak, now in a complete fucking panic. What the fuck? No fucking way. Perfect, perfect, the odds are fucking astronomical—another deadly accurate shot. “Ah, um, okay, scratch everything I said—th-third time’s a charm?”

Wide-eyed and having absolutely no clue what you’re doing at this point, you fail to see Din slowly turn his helmet down and to the right as he stands behind you. You go to lift your arms and pull the trigger, but then he suddenly reaches out lightning-quick and bumps your elbow upwards at the very last second.

The abrupt push causes your shot to be angled off course spectacularly and you can’t do anything but look up and gasp in horror, worried it’s going to ricochet off the ceiling and land somewhere this building isn’t architecturally designed to absorb. There’s just enough time to wildly wonder why the fuck he did that—

—but then, like pure magic before your eyes… the beam of plasma adjusts itself in midair.

It fucking bends. Across the length of your entire firing lane, it curves in a downward trajectory and hits the target with absolutely impossible physics.

Your jaw fucking drops and you whip your body around in dumb shock to see Din staring hard at the closed shield next to him.

… that’s not closed.

The baby tilts his head at you and coos happily, one ear tipping up while the other tips down, and you’re completely blown away. Not only at the entirely unexpected demon-power display, but what specifically he was hoping to get out of it. You’re still stuck, blinking down at the adorable little goof with abilities you’ll never understand.

Only, a hand suddenly grabs yours and drags you back to yourself.

“We need to leave,” Din says quietly, switching the lid shut on the hovering crib and pushing it towards the booth’s exit while tugging you along behind him. “I don’t know how many people saw that, we need to leave.”

Sure enough, voices in the next partition over start picking up, likely the only ones in here who had a good enough angle to watch the physically unthinkable shot somehow meet its target, and your adrenaline quickly begins pumping while you keep your head down and power-walk your ass to the door. You don’t know the kind of consequences that could potentially arise from others witnessing the kid’s literal sorcery, but you know you’d rather not take the chance. The voices start growing louder as you three make your quick escape, beginning to ask others around them if they just saw that, but you’re already out of the rectangular adobe structure and long gone by the time anybody steps out of their panels to hear the uproarious accusations of cheating beginning to fly.

***

Stay tuned for the next part!

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin #din djarin x you #star wars #fanfic #reader insert #no-droids

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ssplague · 2 years

Text

Chapter 9

Masterlist

❗️Mature audiences only❗️

‼️Trigger warnings‼️Sex, manipulation, toxic relationships, yandere, verbal abuse, degradation, mental illness, delusional thinking, gas lighting, brief mention of suicidal ideation, fragile psyche, co-dependency, enabling

💌HONORABLE MENTIONS📭

@angie-1306 @wolfunderthetree @marifujioka @im1nobody @atmyhet @elaineplayz @girlwithnokatsuki @rainstorm22 @bi-polar-pandas @itadakimasu @ss-akii @winchescumberholland @po3ticb3auty @lizethecookie01 @maggiecc @lordmypantsaresocool @shoslutt @presidentmonica @venussakura @villaness-noble-girl @comfycozy @lilmad13 @lunamoonbby

Dedicating this chapter to @lunamoonbby because she’s my favorite and too sweet! 🍭😘 Thank you for all your kind words!

🫂 ⛈ 🗣

The weekend went by far too fast for your liking.

You take your time saying goodbye to Katsuki’s parents, and to no one’s surprise the moody boy remains silent. Tired of the idle chit chat, he begins trudging up the path towards Heights Alliance.

“-and I’d better get a move on before he starts complaining, hopefully we’ll see you guys again soon!” You smile and shut the door, turning to start after your significant other. You’be only have taken a handful of steps before Mitsuki calls after you;

“Y/N, If you ever want to come home for the weekend and Katsuki doesn’t want to…you’re more than welcome to, just call me and I’ll come get you, understand?”.

A wide grin appears on your face as you nod happily, “Got it! Have a safe drive home!”. You give them a final wave, before walking up the pathway towards the dorms, you savor the few moments of silence. The moonlight shining down on you seems brighter than usual; You smile as you trot along, seeing no menacing shadows laying in wait to ensnare you. You’d figured Katsuki had went inside already, so when he suddenly stepped out onto the path from behind a hedge, it scared you half to death. “Don’t do that! You jerk!” You shouted as he laughs at you.

“Why were you hiding out here like some creep anyway?!”

“What? I can’t enjoy one last quiet moment with my girl before we have to go inside and deal with all those idiots?”

The way his hands run down your sides to grab at your plush hips has you melting into his embrace. You look up at him through heavily lidded eyes and he smiles down at you, “My pretty girl, my perfect girl, my prize-“, before he could continue singing your praises the door opens.

Both of your heads snap to the side as the stream of light spilled out from the now open door way, bathing you, Katsuki, and the walkway in its orange glow. You look suprised, Katsuki looked murderous, even more so once he’d seen just who it was standing there.

“Ah! Y/N-Chan, Kaachan! Your back! I-I-Im S-Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt! It’s just that the trash needed taking out and-“ Izuku’s stuttering explanation is halted by Katsuki’s screaming “Fuckin’ Deku SHUT UP!!! Get the hell out of the way!”.

-🛣-

Now that it’s just the two them, the ride home is rather quiet for Masaru and Mitsuki. Sneaking a glance at his normally talkative wife, he notices her blankly staring out the window.

“Something wrong honey?”

The woman sighs before replying; “Not really…I’m just still pissed off about what Haori said….I’m not necessarily angry with her, but I don’t appreciate the implications”.

Uh-oh, this was a dangerous topic of conversation…Masaru knows he has to tread lightly here, lest he set off his wife and have a terrible rest of their night. “She was the same way when it came to our relationship, but once she saw how happy we were together she changed her mind, remember? It just took a little time”.

Mitsuki had immediately relayed the entire argument to him as soon as you guys had gotten home. Her yelling made it easy for you and Katsuki to head upstairs without any impediment. The sad look you’d given him as you followed after Katsuki was the best form of apology you could offer. He slightly shook his head, letting you know with his own half smile that it was okay, before you disappeared from his sight.

“Yes, it did…You know how protective I am over you and Katsuki, now y/n too…I don’t like anyone even hinting that she isn’t part of our family, or trying to say how things are forced between her and our son….He loves her, she loves him, only an idiot wouldn’t be able to see it” she smiles and laces her fingers through his hand not on the steering wheel, “She brings out the best in our boy, just like you bring out the best in me, my love”.

“I couldnt agree more dear”.

Mitsuki rewards the simple reply with a peck on his cheek.

After that Masaru silently sighs in relief, looks like tonight will remain pleasant after all.

Grabbing your bags in one hand, your angry boyfriend drags you along with him as he heads inside. You smile at the nervous green haired boy as he jumps out of the way. Entering the common area Kirishima immediately (and embarrassingly) announces your return; “Hey the love birds are back!”.

As annoyed as he pretends to be Katsuki pulls you over towards where your friends are seated.

After sharing stories from your individual activities that weekend, the group continues its normal chatter.

Then you remembered something;

“Ah that’s right, your presents!”.

“You got us Presents?!” Mina exclaims, excitedly extending her hand as you pull something out of your bag.

“I love them!!!!” She’s all smiles at the cute new top and sweater you gave her. Before you can nicely hand over the boy’s stuff, Katsuki grabs it from you and throws each shirt at Kirishima, Denki, and Serro, following it up with “You aren’t welcome”.

They thank you anyway.

“I wanna see all your new stuff y/n! You have to show me!” Mina says as she drapes herself over the back of the arm chair you and Katsuki always share. “I didnt bring everything along with me, a lot of its hanging up at home but I did bring some” you reply, attempting to stand up but the huff from beside you freezes you in your tracks. Settling back down beside Katsuki he tugs you closer towards him, “Tomorrow you can see her stuff raccoon eyes, you’ll keep her awake blabbering for hours, we’re going to bed now”.

Mina blows a raspberry in his direction, and you quietly apologize as you are now allowed to stand up.

“Good night everyone” you say with a wave as the annoyed blonde holds the elevator for you. Once the door slides shut, the pinkette throws herself down on the couch with a forlorn look on her normally excited face.

“You’ll get to have your girl time tomorrow Mina, you know how BakuBro is about his sleep schedule” Kirishima says in attempt to cheer her up.

“Yeah, I know” she offers him a smile and now reassured she’s okay, the red head goes back to his conversation with the other two boys.

If only that’s what was really troubling her, but unfortunately what was, wasn’t so simple at all…

- 🥊 -

For three weeks after your visit to Katsuki’s parents everything seemed to be going smoothly, until one day something, or rather someone fucked that up.

“Meet me in my room in an hour, yeah? I got new face masks for us to try!” Mina tells you after class. You agree, since Katsuki was going to be in the weight room with Kirishima for awhile.

So you went back to your room and started on your homework, that’s what you would have done in the past right?

You weren’t used to being alone and it was embarrassing…it had only been ten minutes since class let out.

You picked up your phone and started texting Katsuki:

I don’t know what to do without you around haha 🙈😅

You cringed at that and quickly erased it, he wouldn’t be looking at his phone now anyway…

Twenty minutes had passed; You’d only answered one question and barely read a paragraph in your history book.

Katsuki always does homework with me; What if I get everything wrong without him here to check my work?

Anxiety began to prickle at the back of your skull.

I’ll just go over to Mina’s now, she won’t care if I’m early…

*(Y/bf/n=Your best friends name)*

“You really think this is a good idea?” Y/bf/n asks as she enters the pink haired girl’s dorm room, “She might just flip out on us both, and then she’s going to have problems with you too, I should just go”.

“No way!” Mina blocks her exit and steers her towards the chair infront of her vanity, on the far side of the room.

“Everything is going to work out, I know it will, you two need to work things out and I’ll be the mediator”.

“But what if HE comes? Then that’s going to be all bad” y/bf/n replies nervously.

“I asked Kirishima to let me know when they were coming back, so we’ll have a heads up, nothing can ruin this!”

A sudden loud knock on the door startles both girls.

“Hey it’s me! I was getting bored waiting around and thought I’d just come by now…if you aren’t busy?” Your voice is muffled through the door.

Without a second glance at y/bf/n, Mina opens the door and you walk in.

“So I was-“ you stop talking as soon as you see who’s infront of you.

The two of you just stare at each other and a wave from your ex best friend sets you off, “The fuck is she doing here?”. The cold tone of your voice makes the room’s other two occupants shiver.

“Y/N I invited her here so the two of you could talk…” Mina tries to explain.

“There is nothing for us to talk about, not until she can learn how to be a supportive friend and accept my relationship” your anxiety from earlier begins to creep back up, making your heart rate increase, the room feels like it’s closing in on you.

“Y/n I’m sorry I hurt you with what I said about Bakugou, I just don’t think he’s good for you! Listen, your mom called me a few days ago and told me she read the note you left and got worried about you-“ you cut her off, unleashing your frustrations out on the unexpecting female.

“HA! Worried?! That’s a load of shit. My family up and abandoned me, that triggered the worst mental breakdown I’ve ever had in my life! I might not even be here anymore if it weren’t for Katsuki and his parents taking me in! You should be thankful to them that I’m here talking to you, because I-“ you don’t elaborate, it’s not safe.

Dont revisit that time; You don’t want to remember those terrible thoughts that plagued you while being stuck, alone in that house. The whispers, voices telling you to do horrible things, how convincing it was that no one would miss you if you did them. The repeated ping of your phone is the furthest thing from your mind as you start in on her again; “Don’t you fucking dare try to tell me Im not better off now than I was before! I have a family now, I have a home, people want me around, and they don’t make me feel like I’m some outsider or failure! I’ve never felt as good about myself as I do now!”.

“It’s not normal y/n, can’t you see that?! Something weird is going on! How can you just forgive everything he did to you before?! Everything he did was unforgivable and you just up and forgot about all that? He violated-“

“Shut your fucking mouth, say one more thing about him and you’ll regret it”

Mina felt like she should intervene here, she’d never seen you this worked up before, let alone this angry. She’d completely forgotten to keep an eye on her phone, which lay discarded on the bed. If she had she would of seen that the boys were on their way back now.

“Slow down man, where’s the fire?” Kirishima calls after his fast walking friend. “Y/n’s not replying to my texts, something’s wrong, she always replies to me right away” Katsuki explains once Kirishima falls into step beside him. “Maybe she fell asleep or something? Or maybe she left her phone in her room?” Despite the attempts of calming him down, Katsuki brushes him off.

Once the two boys are inside the elevator Kirishima really takes a good look at his friend. He’s breathing heavily, his eyes are narrowed and nostrils flared, sparks emit at random intervals from his shaking hands.

“Hey Bakugou…Maybe you should calm down a little before you see her, she’s gonna get scared if you approach her acting like this” Kirishima says nervously. As soon as the doors slide open Katsuki’s already hurrying down the hall and that’s when both of them hear unintelligible shouting.

“Isn’t that-“

“Y/n”

That is the first time he’s ever seen Bakugou look worried, even if it was only for a fleeting second.

“You guys just calm down, you used to be best friends!” Mina says as she stands between you and y/bf/n.

You feel like everything around you has just descended into chaos, you don’t know what to do. It’s like you’re being backed into a corner. You can’t even hear the other’s voices over your own chaotic thoughts.

“Just stop! Please just stop” you cry, hands covering your ears “Leave me alone! I don’t wanna hear anymore!”.

The other two girls look completely baffled by your sudden change in behavior. One second you were furious and snarling, the next you look like you’re about to fall apart at the seams.

“Y/n…I’m s-“ y/bf/n starts to apologize and reach out to you, but is cut off when the door to Mina’s room flys open and an angry voice shouts “What in the fuck is going on in here?!”.

Katsuki looks from Mina, to y/bf/n, and then he sees you, sitting on the floor with your hands over your ears.

You look up at him and tears start to spill down your face, “Suki” you reach for him with grabby hands. He’s quick to pick you up, much to your relief, “You okay princess?”. You nod before hiding your face in his shirt “Lets go, C’mon”.

Carrying you out of the room he gives the girls a death glare, he is beyond furious and wants to rage at them for however they’d hurt you.

However; You need all his attention right now. He doesn’t fight the smirk on his face as he starts walking down the hallway. You cling to him like he’s your life line, mumbling soft thanks for coming to your rescue, and how much you needed him. You have become such a good girl in record time; It makes Katsuki proud to know that you still rejected to accept apologies from that girl who’s already convinced you to leave him once. You refused to hear a bad word spoken about him at all.

Handing you the key to his room you open the door and after entering he kicks it shut.

Moving towards the bed he sets you down, “Gonna take a shower princess, then I’ll come lay-“

“No! Please don’t leave me alone”

“I’ll just be right there in the bathroom baby I’m not leaving you”

“Can I take a shower with you then? Please?”

Suprised but absolutely pleased with your request he picks you up again. Setting you on the bathroom counter as he turns the lights on. Starting the water, Katsuki takes off his sweaty clothes and tosses them in a pile on the floor. He then checks the water temperature and deeming it perfect he turns towards you and his mouth falls open in suprise. There you are sitting on the counter, kicking your legs back and forth, completely naked and slightly shivering as you cover yourself with your hands. He understands your trepidation, he has to let you know you’re wanted.

“Coming?” extending his hand for you to take the invitation. This perks you up right away and you smile at him through your sniffles. Under the warm spray of the shower you cling to him again, savoring the moment of peace after spiraling out of control.

“You okay?” Katsuki asks, tilting your head up to make you look at him.

“Only because of you…Always because of you” you whispered, standing on your tip toes to kiss him “I love you”.

“You too…You Gonna tell me what all that was about earlier?” He doesn’t like being kept in the dark when it comes to you, he has to know, needs to know.

“I know Mina meant well, but things got out of hand…She invited y/bf/n to come out with the girls to Karoke, and Im assuming she was told how much y/bf/n missed having me around and made it sound like some petty, small time argument, was why we stopped being friends…Not the real reason; That she’s a liar that almost cost me to lose you, that convinced me to hurt you and believe you were bad for me”.

You shook with rage even now, you only remember Katsuki saving you and treating you with adoration and kindness…He never did anything bad to you. Sure he’s gotten onto you…but only to make you a better person, a better lover for him. Everything he’s done for you has always been for the best.

You don’t even see it, do you?!

That sudden shout made you jump, what the fuck was that?!

“Babe? What’s wrong??” Katsuki asks in concern.

He didn’t hear it…

“Just felt a little bit of a chill that’s all”

He turns the temperature up a little higher on the taps and then the two of you take turns soaping each other up.

“That girl is delusional, I’m glad you can fully see it now…You don’t need people like that in your life” rubbing the soap down the valley between your breasts as he continues, “People are always going to be jealous of us, because they want what we have and they know they’ll never get it”.

You moan softly as he squeezes your breasts, enjoying the feel of their weight on his palms, “So perfect…”.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with me being a cry baby so often…I’m sure it’s getting tiresome” you mumble, using your wet hair to hide your eyes from view. The depressive actions don’t go unnoticed by the ruby eyes constantly surveying your every move,

“You’re my girl, you mean the world to me, idiot…So what if you cry sometimes? Even if you completely break down, shatter into thousands of pieces, I’ll be there to pick ‘em up and rebuild you”. Katsuki doesn’t have to tilt your head up, you do it yourself this time and it warms his heart. Incapable of shutting up he prattles on; “I blew apart every obstacle in my way, I chased after you, I fought for you, and I won you over, you’re my prize for being a winner in life…”.

“How can someone that swears he’s terrible with words constantly make me weak in the knees?” You ask, batting your big beautiful eyes as you get lost in his. “What can I say? My girl brings out the best in me” Katsuki smirks back at you. “I Wanna be the best for you Suki, wanna be perfect, so you’ll never leave me alone…” you really mean it.

“You will be, I’ll see to that angel” you two seal this promise with a kiss.

Kirishima was absolutely floored by the entirety of this situation. He’d stayed behind when Katsuki took you away earlier, he would have been more of a hindrance than a help in that instance.

So he listened as Mina went over what had led up to the blow up that happened between you and your once best friend.

Once she was finished, the normally cheerful red head made it a point to wrap an arm around her shoulders and comfort the remorseful pinkette, “Kiri…I think that you need to know some things, they’re going to be difficult for you to hear but you still need to know…”. Kirishima looks confused when Mina looks at y/bf/n as she speaks, and giving an affirmative nod once she’s done.

So y/bf/n proceeded to once again relay all the awful memories, speculations, and accusations she’d first shared with Mina at the Karoke bar. Kirishima felt a heavy weight settle in his stomach, and he was ashamed to admit that he was torn on how he should feel about all this.

It took a lot of effort to befriend the explosive blonde, and to hear that his best friend was a monster in the worse kind of way…Just doesn’t sit well with him. So he was polite while listening to the girl speak her piece and even offered to walk her back to the general studies dorms.

Always the gentleman.

Y/bf/n refuses the offer, claiming she’s caused them enough trouble for one day and thanks Mina for trying to help repair the destroyed friendship. After any more small talk would have become awkward, she bid them good night and accepted a hug from both soon to be heroes.

“So what happens now?” Mina asks, looking utterly lost for the first time.

“I think we need to just put all of this aside until it can be proven, I’m not willing to destroy my friendship over someone else’s possibly baseless accusations, where’s the proof? What if this is all just a big misunderstanding?” Kirishima’s voice has a spiteful bite to it, a serious difference from his usually happy go lucky attitude.

“I think I agree…” Mina comes to sit on the floor beside him once more, laying her head on his sturdy shoulder as her eyes well up with tears.

After that nice hot shower, and bouncing you off his dick for a couple hours, Katsuki finally put you to sleep.

The sound of your even breathing was comforting to him; He’d gotten so used to you sleeping beside him at home (Even though he spent many nights laying awake to stare at you). That first night back in the dorms when he’d went to bed without you, he didn’t sleep a wink. That’s why you go to bed at the same time he does every night now. At least it’s not difficult to sneak you into his room, or him into your’s.

Brushing your hair out of your face, he marveled at this angelic radiance your skin seemed to produce in the dim glow of the moonlight peeking through his curtains. Katsuki won’t lose you again, you were everything to him. That’s why he’d been relentlessly beaten himself up since you’d fallen asleep; He’d failed you today.

You depend on him so much now…

You shouldn’t have been alone in the first place, he all but threw you to the wolves. Seeing you sobbing on Mina’s floor; Looking so small, so vunerable, in front of anyone other than him. About to break, and in turn destroy all the progress he’s made with you, all because of that bitch….Couldn’t she just give up already?

He’d been so happy you dropped her, then seeing the two of you even occupying the same space, breathing the same air earlier…It did more than infuriate him. Although, the way you’d reached out to Katsuki and let him sweep you up into his arms, had him feeling smug.

You can’t get rid of me, she’s all mine now.

He knew y/bf/n got the message loud and clear, he didn’t need to vocalize it.

If the girl thought she had a chance to be apart of your life again, she was sorely mistaken. Then he remembered something else you’d said earlier;

“She said my mom is worried about me”.

Your family hadn’t even crossed his mind lately, as far as he was concerned those people were nothing to you. You were a Bakugou now, not a L/N! Well legally you weren’t…but as soon as you both were adults, you would be Y/N Bakugou, wife of the #1 hero Ground Zero! “I think it’s got a real nice ring to it” he whispers, caressing your cheek “Don’t you agree, princess?”. You unconsciously lean into his touch, a breathy sigh follows the adorable action. “Just a few more adjustments need to be made, and once you break entirely…Then I’ll be able to build you back up into my perfect companion, the greatest prize for the greatest hero” he kisses your forehead before carefully getting out of bed.

Looking at his phone it reads “10:15 pm”, surely the old hag would still be awake…Ensuring the door is locked behind him he walks down the hallway.

Putting his phone to his ear he waits until the familiar “The hell do you want now, you know what time it is!!?” Sounds in his ear.

Ignoring the less than polite greeting, Katsuki gives his mother a condensed version of what happened to you earlier that day, before getting to what’s actually worrying him;

“That stupid girl told y/n her mom had called saying she’s been worried about her…”.

Mitsuki quietly shuts the door to the bedroom, ensuring she doesn’t interrupt Masaru’s peaceful slumber. Now that she was downstairs she audibly scoffs; “Oh she’s worried about her daughter now? Not when she had abandoned her for three months?!”. Hearing her sons shaken tone, riddled with uncertainty, agitated her inner “Momma bear”.

“Mom, what if they try and make her go back with them? We can’t let that happen, she needs to stay with us, with me, we’re her real family, not those assholes!”.

“Don’t worry, that’s not going to happen son…Y/N isn’t going anywhere, I promise” hearing his mother sound so self assured did manage to put his anxieties at ease.

The room is pitch black when you wake, emitting a quiet whimper. You roll towards where you expect to find the warm body beside you, but finding only a cold, empty, space. “Suki?”

No response. Where could he have gone? You curl up beneath his blankets, trying to remain calm. It would be embarrassing for him to come back to find you losing your mind in the dark…He took such good care of you today, didn’t he? He always does.

You feel bad for how you reacted towards y/bf/n, and Mina; Both girls had just wanted what’s best for you, and you totally freaked out on them…

After deciding you were going to apologize to both of them, you’d grabbed your phone from the night stand. you create a group message adding both of them to it and typing:

I just want to say that I’m really sorry about today…I’ve been through a lot recently. Once I get overwhelmed, I shut down and I know it was probably frightening to witness. I’m okay now though and um hopefully each of you will forgive me for my behavior.

You sent the message, silenced alerts and set your phone face down on the nightstand. Both of them would definitely understand, you were just having a hard time, that’s all.

Not long had passed when you heard the click of the door unlocking, it opens quietly, and closes silently. You hear the lock set, and a few seconds later the mattress on your side dips. Katsuki joins you in bed again and you eagerly snuggle up to him, hands immediately caressing his skin and eagerly grabbing at his muscular biceps.

“M’sorry baby, you been up for long?”

He wraps you up in his arms before laying back on his pillow, despite having your own, you come to lay under his chin on the same one, “No, just a few minutes”. You don’t need to tell him you were scared, or how much you hate waking up to find him gone.

“Tomorrow after class lets out, me and shitty hair are gonna hit the weight room again since we only got an hour in today” you wonder why he’s telling you this now, as his hand begins to rub your lower back “You’re gonna come with us, you don’t have to lift if you don’t want to, but I’m not leaving you alone again…Today, it was my fault you got cornered like that…It’s not happening again”.

Thinking back on the thirty or fourty minutes you’d sat by yourself earlier today had you agreeing to his order happily, “Sounds good”.

After one more good night kiss, you both relaxed and got some much needed rest.

A/N: You guys like the new banner? I feel like it needs more done to it, but I couldn’t keep putting off this update all for the sake of my perfectionist attitude towards customizing “cover art” so to speak. Chapter ten is going to be about as long as this one, it’s almost done…I think.

❤️‍🔥

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou family #yandere bnha #Bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo x y/n #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #yandere bakugou #yandere katsuki bakugou #prized

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haechanplsacceptmylove · 3 years

Text

The One That Got Away

Characters: Sungchan x y/n (female)

Genre: angst

Warnings: pregnancy, death, blood

Words: 1.2k

Song: the one that got away - Katy Perry (listen to the sadder version)

Requested ✅

A/n: SORRY OK IM IN THE MOOD FOR VERY ANGST STUFF, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

You sipped your coffee, eyes smiling brightly at the man in front of you, your love of your life, your boyfriend Sungchan, who was also smiling brightly back at you. You just finished planning your trip for your 6th anniversary. You couldn't be any happier. If you could describe your life right now; perfect. A man you love, who loves you back just as much, a job, a house and most importantly your unborn child. You got to know about your pregnancy two weeks ago and it took you all of your energy to keep it a secret, until your 6th anniversary to make it more perfect and to surprise him with what he's been dreaming of for the past years. You've been planning how to tell him for the past two weeks, and you couldn't wait any longer to tell him. Thank god you only have to wait two days now, then everything will be more perfect. You didn't really plan anything big... Just thought of surprising him with a small box in a chill cuddly night, which has yellow small baby shoes in them.

You chuckle looking at the extra cute small shoes in front of you, remembering your promise you made when you got your matching tattoos, you promised to have your love for each other as permanent as your tattoos and to be there for each other, in good and bad. You had so much to tell him. You wanted to cuddle with him in your warm villa house and to talk about the past 6 years you've spent together. You were very excited. After packing your luggage you sent your boyfriend a goodnight message and went to sleep.

For the next 2 days you were only thinking about him. You couldn't really meet him because he had to do extra work so he could spend the whole week with you in the vacation. All you could do is text and call each other. I mean what's the problem with it if you'll be spending the next whole week in each other's arms? You were patient, for you, him and your baby.

Finally D-day! You had planned to meet your boyfriend first in a restaurant and then go together by the car to your villa house. It was a Chilly night, sky very clear, where you could see the bright stars. The road filled with cars and people, such a normal night, but still beautiful.

You waited for him outside the restaurant, checking the time every now and then. After 15 minutes of waiting, you finally saw your love of your life. Oh how much you missed his warm lovable embrace. Oh how much you wanted to kiss his tasty, sweet soft lips. Oh how much the night became more beautiful just when you saw him. You smiled and waved at him. He was wearing a black coat with such a nice suit under it, his hands holding a beautiful combination of red and white flowers. You gave each other a bright lovable smile. He was waiting for the lights to turn green for him to walk to you. And once they turned green, he walked towards you, a little too fast. He was excited, you chuckles. Your eyes shining with excitement and love. You were just very in love with each other. You found your world, life, future and home in each other's eyes.

He was getting closer and closer, oh how much your heart was beating. With every step he was taking, you heart was beating faster and faster. As if it was only beating for him, and it was. Your heart, and the smaller heart inside you, both were beating for this amazing man.

He was close, finally you'll have him in your arms, finally. Just when you heard people screaming. But you were so hooked up with his eyes and presence, you didn't care about others. As if all your senses only focused on Sungchan and only him.

In a blink of an eye, you saw your man on the ground after getting hit by a car. Everything went so fast that all you saw next is Sungchan on the ground, the flowers next to him, which were once white, turning red. A bloody kind of red. Your world stopped, you ran to him. You held his body. Not believing your eyes.

"S-Sungchan-"

You could barely talk

"Ba-baby"

He tried to talk

Your eyes were blurry with the amount of tears it held. Your shaky hands holding his face, close to yours. His eyes still, looked so lovable, warm and clear.

"M-My Ang-el"

He moved his hand to hold your cheek, wiping your tears

"My love"

You cried

"I-I really was-s excited t-to see y-your beautiful f-face"

His tears falling, mixing with the blood

"i m-missed you, Sungchan"

"I missed y-you to-o, y/n"

He smiled, his beautiful smile

"please, p-please stay with me, i-ill call the a-ambulance hold up"

Your shaky hands left his face and held your phone, trying to dial 911

"y/n, baby"

Sungchan held your hands, bringing them to him, leaving the dispatcher confused on the other line, not receiving any answers from the caller.

"Sungchan let me c-call them"

He shook his head

"Y/n baby... I n-never ever regretted b-being with y-you, I'm h-happy i m-met you"

You started sobbing, holding his face

He continued

"i-if i was to be born again i-I'd choose you, again and a-again, you are m-my life y/n"

"Sungchan s-stop talking! Y-you're tiring yourself more, s-stay still the the ambulance c-comes" you screamed at the people surrounding you, for them to call the ambulance.

Sungchan held your face, turning it down to look at him

"I-i w-wanted to-o a-ask you to b-be mine t-today" you only cried harder, your hands clenching around his face, not willing to let him go anytime sooner

"Su-sungchan, please s-stay, for me and for o-our b-baby"

He looked shocked, now he's crying harder, the blood that he's bleeding is now getting slower and slower, its ending soon.

"Y/n t-thank y-you for b-being there for m-me an—d for m-making me h-happy even in m-my last m-moment" his tear dropped

"do-n't s-say that! Y-you're staying a-alive Sungchan! I-i still h-have many things to s-say to y-you! R-remember o-our promise? Y-you can't l-leave me now... P-please"

"you'll b-be an am-amazing mother y/n" he whispered

"baby, i-in another life, w-would you be my g-girl too?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Sungchan y-yes, I'll forever b-be yours and y-you'll forever b-be mine"

"I l-love you, Y/n... S-sorry—" his last tear fell, his eyes closed, breath stopped, hands fell from your cheeks, his body stilled.

"I-i l-love you t—oo"

You looked at your world's lifeless body on the ground. Looking around him, taking in this moment, trying to figure out if it's real or not. You looked at the now soaked in blood flowers, next to them a little box, your shaky hands reached out to it and opened it. It revealed a beautiful ring, with words "be my wife" on the upper side of the box.

You lost yourself. Looking at your lifeless man. You held his body close to yours, screaming and crying. How are you supposed to continue living without your oxygen? Without the reason for your heart to beat for? Without him? You hugged him, hearing the sirens of the ambulance.

"in another life, I'll be yours and you'll stay with me" you kissed his forehead before the medical technicians pulled you away from him. You saw them giving him cpr, but with no use, he's now covered by white material and taken away from you.

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

bestie bestie bakugou

Bakugou and fem!reader, best friends, roommates, loveeee

Warning - swears, mentions of sex

You were walking around the city for hours now, you left the apartment just before sundown and now it’s raining and you think you see the light from the sun turning the clouds lighter on the horizon. You came home after a long day of work, of fighting a villain, of almost not making it back this time, to find your boyfriend, who you didnt even live with mind you, fucking someone else on your bed. You didn’t say anything, you just walked out, quietly, he didn’t even notice.

The buzzing in your hand caught your attention, making you aware of the heaviness of something in your palm, you raise it to see and then remember it’s your phone. The action causes it to wake up, showing your notifications, 50 missed calls from him and almost as many texts and double the amount of calls and texts from your two best friends

The screen catches the water from the rain as it flows down the surface, you try to unlock your phone, a sudden urge to not be alone hitting you, but your thumb was too cold and wet to unlock with the fingerprint. You go to press in the buttons but the screen doesnt recognize your fingers either, you’re starting to panic, to hyperventilate when the screen lights up, you relax seeing the name pop up and try to answer but you were shaking so much, you brought the phone to your lips, sticking your tongue out to click the green button.

“Fucking bastard is going to die” he says as he wraps you in a towel, pulling you to his chest, “y/n im so sorry. You’re staying here with me for now on, i’ll go to your place tomorrow and get some of your things and get your key back from that fucker.” he was pissed, fuming, you haven't seen him this mad since high school “Katsuki i couldn't possibly put you out” he holds his finger to your lips “shut up, im insisting, plus this place is too big for just me” you chuckle through the shivers that are now finding your body, your skin and bones finally reacting to the cold as your body shakes uncontrollably. “T-t-thank you K-Kacchan” he sighs and takes your hand, pulling you with him down the hall to the bathroom.

After a really nice shower, you exit his big ass fancy shower that was really more like a spaceship, you had to use a step stool to get inside it. It had multiple different heads, a steam option, and could even convert into a jacuzzi, if only you didn’t feel like a bath was too close to being a ‘you’ flavored soup.

You find a change of clothes for you waiting on his bed, a pair of his sweats and one of his shirts, you brought them to your nose, taking a deep breath. They smelled like downey, the yellow kind your parents used to use, it smelt comforting. You slip on his clothes and feel like you’re getting a hug from him.

When you make it back to the kitchen you have the shivers again, your wet hair making your back wet. He takes one look at you, arms hugged around your body, and he throws you over his shoulder and takes you right back to his room. He sets you down on the bed and then takes a hold of his hood and pulls his hoodie off, shoving it down over your head. “I’m making you some tea and then you are going to talk to me more if you feel like it okay?” you nod with a small smile as you pop your arms through the sleeves.

Its been six months, Bakugou has helped you heal through your pain, he got you some things from your apartment and got your key back. He also officially, and with pleasure, told your ex to fuck off, that it was over and to never contact you again, with too many threats to count. He really enjoyed it and wanted to do it for a long time but he’d never tell you that. You cut your ex out of your life, easily letting him go because if you caught him cheating once who knows how long he did it, you were 100% okay with never seeing him again, the hard part was waiting for the feelings to go away, to rid yourself of the habit that was your ex.

You tried to go back to your apartment after a few weeks, it was fine for the most part, you found a completely new bed in your room courtesy of Bakugou and although he denies it wholeheartedly you know no one else would have done that,... but after a few days you called Bakugou, telling him that it just felt empty and that it didn’t feel like your home anymore, he invited you to move in immediately and you never looked back.

Your new bed and all the furniture you didn't sell sit proudly in the spacious spare bedroom at Bakugous apartment. He was right, this apartment was way too big for one person.

Bakugou had girls over periodically and you didn’t mind them at first, you even made them breakfast sometimes, on the off chance Bakugou slept late and didn’t kick them out immediately. He’s never liked the morning after, the girls he has dated were just to fill the hole in his soul made by the feelings he has developed for you. He’s trying to find one that makes him feel as electric as you make him feel.

After a month of random girls you start to notice yourself resenting the girls you hear him with, the way they fake moan in the bedroom, loudly just so you will hear and then they will give you evil stares as they walk out in the morning. You asked Yao-Momo for some advice once, calling her after you hear another loud girl as you went to the kitchen for some ice cream, losing your appetite you left the ice cream on the counter and just left the kitchen (just eyerolling when he tried to give you shit about it) . “just ask him to stop” you sigh “I cant do that. I dont want to cause him any trouble. I just dont know why he has to go for girls like that” you fake throw up and she laughs “y/n do you think you like bakugou?” she asks and you gasp “of course not! He’s my best friend! And hes bakugou! I couldnt possibly…” you pause for a while as you think, were you really discovering feelings for the blasty explosion boy? This was such a rub. She just laughs at you from over the phone “unclench your jaw y/n. Dont be so tense” you realize shes right as you release your teeth, relaxing your face and jaw “you know me so well” you say with a laugh “of course i do. I’m your real best friend. Not some ill tempered boy. If you like him great, tell him and he’ll stop fucking randoms or if you dont like him tell him to stop fucking randoms so loud” you laugh “so wise Yao-momo, me lovely sensei Yao-Momo” she laughs at you before you guys have to hang up, both having work in the morning.

After the next few days you realized just how in love you were with him, getting more and more annoyed with the girls he brought home, not even noticing that they were showing up less and less, pretty soon the random girls have stopped coming over all together, not that you knew that, you still heard what seemed to be sex noises from his room every once in a while, you just assumed he kicked them out right after, not that he was thinking about you and … you know wink wink

Another six months later you’re with him on a mission, the villains just keep coming wave after wave, a quirk controlling their (dead before you even came around) bodies, it was never ending, if you stopped fighting they would kill you and you didn’t know who the villain was or where they were. You had your agencies looking for them and until then you had to fight, to keep these bodies occupied so they didn't bring chaos anywhere else. You didn’t talk during the fighting but you both were paying more attention to making sure that the other was fine that you ended up just fighting the villains going after each other. When you get home, battered, bruised, and covered in sweat and blood and many tears, you each take turns showering in his amazing shower, you couldn't use a normal shower for your sore muscles.

You made a meal for you both quietly as he showered, too tired to speak or do more than was required, when he came to find you he almost cried with relief at your home cooked meal, he was starving. You ate together in silence, both reflecting on the battle, both reliving every moment where you almost lost the other, where you almost lost the fight, feeling more and more anxious the more you thought about it. What would you have done without him? You didnt want to lose him and regret never telling him, but you know you are way to exhausted to speak.

You stare at each other in the hallway, both wanting to say something, to not leave each other yet. You turn to go and he grabs your hand, pulling you with him into his room before climbing in bed and pulling you along with him down into his soft comfortable bed, he pulls you to his chest and you feel all your stress and anxiety leave your body. He kisses the back of your head “I love you” he whispers into your hair, the only energy he has left. You turn in his arms to look at him and see his eyes blink slowly, he can hardly hold them open anymore. You smile softly “I love you” you whisper back and he sighs, a happy smile on his lips as he lets his eyes close “good” he says and you chuckle, your eyes closing as you lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before allowing yourself to fall asleep, the feeling of his arm around you and the sound of his soft breaths comforting you.

#mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha katsuki #bakugou katsuki fanfiction #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #katsuki x reader #katsuki x y/n #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo

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thirsthourdemon · 4 years

Text

What does happiness look like?

Includes: Kuroo

Genre: Angst, a tad of fluff

Warnings: cheating?

A/N: Mwuah Happy? What happy?

Cold and trembling, he was submerged into the freezing water up to his collar bones. Head resting on the dull coloured wall tiles of his bathroom, kuroo stared aimlessly at the edge of his tub. Chapped lips and a bored gaze on his pale face that night. Why cant we just be happy? To be obliviously happy. What did happiness even look like anymore? Was he even worthy of happiness?

These questions constantly seep their way into his head and like the overthinker he was, he’d spend hours remaining in the cold water pondering on when he was every going to see the light again. Bathing for decency. As he stood up from his position, he sneaked a peek at the autumn sky in the small compact window on top of his bathroom. Though his body was telling him to quickly cover himself, he simply took his time wearing clothes, still dazed. The moaning and groaning of his stomach, though not new, did not fell into deaf ears as he had thought to walked over to the local ramen shop to get something to eat. It wasn’t foreign for him to feel that as he had been doing that for a while. Eating just to survive. He pockets his keys and looks over at the jersey he was supposedly proud of. Framed with a picture of his previous volleyball team beside it. The smile he has on his face with the sweat dripping down his brow. Staying alive just for the sake of being alive.

What face will he make when he sees what happiness looks like again? The clicking of the door echoed telling him that he could go already. Once again taking his time, he admired the view of the night all the while not noticing the fumbling bike about to crash at him. In a swift moment he had barely moved aside as the bike had coming crashing into the pile of garbage cans. The loud crash scaring the kittens that have been concealing themselves using the bins and bags. “Im fi-hay-ne” she slurs through her loud announcement of her state while trying to pick herself up from the rubble.

“I wasn’t asking-“ “Well that’s mean! Didn’t your mother teach you to help those who needed it?” She banters while patting herself to rid of the dirt, though that did nothing to the stench that she now had on her. “You dont seem like you need help though...” his voice was in between a low growl and mumble. “Ha?! Look at this boy! Not even helping a lady! Who raised you?” She starts grumbling, picking up her bike and trying to get back on, ultimately failing. The night was so dark that only the light post was illuminating the way, looking at the ill mannered girl, he had finally gotten a good look of her face.

Scrunched up nose with stars for eyes, clearly scratched and a bit of filth layed on her soft cheeks. Her brows furrowed to the center and sweat glistening on her forehead. Cutting through his admiring thoughts” Then let me help you. My apartment is near by” he utters, seemingly regretting this but accepting the situation when she turns to him with a toothy grin and runs close him.

She smelled of garbage and oil, amusing him though she starts rambling about her day.

Wow she actually thinks I care...Hmmm...when will she even stop talking? At least she’s not awkward, I guess? What is she even talking about? “-So there I was right? He was trying to talk me into letting him eat me while I was on my period. Calling me his little ketchup packet-“ “HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!” A hyena like laughter emits from his lips. When was the last time he even laughed like this? His grabbed onto his sides and cackled the night away. The night, the moment he looked at her...

His eyes relaxed and a small smile to his dry lips, that was the face he had when he had finally seen what happiness looked like again.

The face he had made everyday since then.

“Tetsu! Look at the kitten mugs! We should get some! It looks great!” “Y/N, we dont need-“ “LOOK! They even have nekoma themed mugs! And fukurodani ones! These are great! Did you know I actually went to fukurodani?” Her blabber was a tune that was constantly stuck to his head now. Watching her bring the mugs to the counter, he quickly hands his card to the register without her protest...well up until “I could have handled that yknow?” Another one of her famous complaints. Who knew happiness was a small woman in an old jacket and was as aggressive as a chihuahua?

“Fine, then you can buy the tea, kitten?” The raven offered as she feels her cheeks grow warm at the nickname. “Of course Im paying for tea, idiot!” Hurriedly grabbing her shopping bag and walking to the entrance that kuroo had opened for her. Walking side by side while munching on the weird convenience store they had both decided on.

“I like these! We should buy more next time, no?” Gasping at the delicious snack.

“Make yourself at home...” “Will do, sir~” she enters his apartment so casually and places the mugs down. Plopping down on her, self-proclaimed, spot while the rooster haired male had set up his kitchen for some tea she sets up the show they were going to watch. Spotting some packets of convenience store food, the smaller girl stared at them and started arising from her seat.

Kuroo felt small arms wrap around his waist and a cheek to his back. “Tetsu...” “Yes, kitten?” Replying with a teasing voice however regretting it as soon the male realizes what was happening. “I told you not to eat convenience store food anymore!” She scolds. Sigh It was a sight to behold. A 6ft tall man saying sorry to a smaller female, who was not even his lover, scolding him of not taking better care of himself. Though after all has been said and done she brings him to a cuddle on the couch. “Im just scolding you because I lov- ehem I..aughh I mean be-cause... you aren’t taking care of yourself again...you idiot” The last part sounding almost like a whisper. He was safe, content and most of all happy.

Recalling the questions he once had in his head.

Who knew happiness looked like her? An aggressive small girl who was way too confident.

A certain warm light to her eyes. Brow always dripping with sweat. She was fierce and weirdly competitive in things that don’t really matter.

‘Who could eat the most mochi?’ ‘Who could finish their tea first?’ Most of which the former captain would entertain. Happiness looked like her whenever she would run after the birds at the park and giggle at their “Cowardice” to face her.

Happiness sounded like her odd stories and her voice shouting at the store owner to haggle with her. She was happiness. She was his happiness.

He knew in himself that he liked her of course. Through his ups and downs they were together. The convincing him to go to classes. Y/N constantly riding up to his apartment just so she made sure he would actually go. Her constant “Good morning”...the...

“Tetsu, come on. It’s a great day to go to do something after classes!”

“OI! WHAT ARE YOU EATING?! You think rice is cheap? Ha?! Eat the food I made! No more instant noodles!”

“It’s okay. Let it all out. Im here. Your feelings are valid, okay?”

“Hey tetsu, I bought some Grilled Salted Mackerel pike!”

Until it became...

“Kitten! Let’s go to the beach!”

“Hey! Eat your food! It’ll get cold yknow?”

“Chibi-chan! You can’t even catch up!”

“Do you need help with that one? Here you do it like this...”

“Y/N, kenma said we’re meeting up at the cafe near the station. Wanna get ready at 10?”

“Hey shut the fuck up! She can wear whatever she wants. You’re just a pervert if you think you’re allowed to cat call her just for wearing clothes, ass hole”

Coming back to his younger, more passionate self. The happiest and the best version of himself, he thought that through this he was at least worthy and deserving of being loved by her.

However not everything is perfect. There were days where Y/N couldn’t even stop by. She was tired and she needed to rest for herself. Kuroo understand that but lately she was a bit too busy.

Was she busy? He wouldn’t have doubter her if...he hadnt..He saw her walking out of campus with a guy that day. More specifically the school’s counseling president.. She was so nice. Nice to everyone. Even to people like that. She was even nice to him. Him. He wasn’t even anybody. He was nothing and she was everything. He hated to think about it but...Maybe she just did that out of pity. She’s so nice that she would do that. Who was he?

Who was he to be important? He wasn’t a president of anything. He was just himself. Was he even worthy enough that she takes care of him to such an extent? What could he do for her though?

The sudden creak of the door alerts him, his sharp eyes meet Y/N’s frame holding a bouquet of flowers. “Oh hey can you help with these? The guys at the committee bought them for me as thanks but I honestly like gardens more hahaha Still sweet though” Taking off her shoes and handing him the big bouquet of red to pink roses. He could have done much better. She didn’t even like their stupid bouquet.

“There’s a green house tea house thing close to my university. Wanna go then? I mean Im going to be dropping some stuff off at my locker so-“ “Really?! Sure!” An excited squeal came from her lips while she stepped in and occupied the majority of the couch in a deflated or one might say tired pose.

“Please pick from our flower charms!” The host to the tea shop announcing enthusiastically at the duo. Normally the two would have picked different flowers however captivated by certain flowers with bright pink petals that point to the sky. Cyclamens with small papers which read “Fight for your love”.

Just like fortune cookies.

Well what do you know? Passionate love then? What a coincidence due to the situation. To fight for your love.

Being seated at their booth, both had looked around the place. Clumsily piled high with beautiful plants and the sun light almost seemed too perfectly placed. Y/N looked as if she belonged there. With the flora decorating her, one would have considered her a fairy. “You look...N-nice...kitten” stuttering to even find the right things to say.

Under the table...

She had gently inched her small fingertips to touch his calloused ones. Holding at least a portion of her hand. Soft ,comforting and happy. When the tea had arrived Kuroo had only taken a small sip until he rejected the floral drink completely. “You know Chrysanthemums actually means Loyalty and patience? It’s really cool!” With the tea’s edge to her slightly parted lips, the young female had taken a quiet sip.

She enjoys the date with her hand completely clasped in his under the table. Shoulders touching and giggling at whatever kuroo was showing her on his phone. It was literal paradise. Beautiful flora, wonderful food and amazing her. It was perfection in a moment. The sun’s afternoon light striped through her hair and a portion of her cheek. Magic.

It was all until she had started squirming and gripping his hand tighter. “T-tesu...I ughh...I like someone. It’s this guy and...he...I think he might be the one, tetsu! He buys tea with me and holds me like Im home...”

So he was right. He was correct this time. He was so used to being wrong that right now being right felt like a punishment. Tetsuro though that he was the only one who he did those things with. So right and so wrong at the same time.

The little glimmer of happiness in him slightly fading.

He was just there because she pitied him.

He hated it but he didn’t say that, he couldn’t. He had his signature grin on as he knuckles her hair he says something along the lines of “You! You’re going to scare him off! Hahaha! You’re so stubborn too, chibi-chan!”

The laughter was sweet as the tea he had refused to drink. A few moments later the male had left saying that he had to relieve himself though he barely drank anything.

1: 02 PM

3: 27 PM

“Miss, would you like me to sit with-“ “Oh? Oh! No! Sorry! Im actually with someone. Im just waiting for him”

“Oh sorry! I thought you were alone”

6: 12 PM

8: 45 PM

“Umm...miss, we’re actually going to close now”

...

“Hello? Tetsu-“ “This number cannot be reached. Please try again-“

“UGH! I am so kicking his ass when I see him! Ditching me like that!...” Shuffling to gather her things and hurriedly asking for the bill. She leaves the moment she’s cleared and in search of the rooster head male.

Meanwhile the male was in the library ever since. Trying to simply clear his head. Trying to understand what had just happened. Recalling the exact moment that you weren’t his anymore. When a woman in a skimpy outfit had cat called him when he was about to leave. Something about how he looked well hung. Livid, he grabbed her to the side which she obliged in.

This was wrong.

Though why would he care? He was always wrong. The one moment where he was correct he was also wrong. He clenched his fist and forcibly bit his lips.

He was cringing at all of this. Y/N was supposed to be his and yet...She had to choose...and she chose someone who deserved her love.

The disgusting moans of the woman he was making out with at the alley way. Hungry, disgusted and furious. His touches were rough and almost hurting her.

Again, why would he care? Y/N didn’t even like him! He was only taken care of out of pity! He was nothing! All he was...was wrong.

Empty and wrong.

He took it all out on the innocent girl’s cunt. Kuroo called out for her. Her nickname.

Grasping and groaning ‘kitten’. Balls deep in this bitch he picked up from the street when his phone started ringing.

The light of his screen illuminating them.

On the other side of this though...Y/N was walking to his apartment to see if he was there. Also just as livid. Tear stained. Her mascara smudged. No longer looking like a fresh flower. A wilted yellow carnation to her hair while her hands fumbled with her phone. She felt betrayed. She felt useless. It took so much for her to even confess! She had to time everything! To the hand holding and intimate touches.

Even rejecting the council president because of him!

He was a jerk! Why would he even invite her to a date if he was just going to ditch her?

Was she the one in the wrong this time though? Did he even like her? Why would he just invite her?

Did she misunderstand? Were they just friends?...

Finally confessing to him and he just-...mid step. Her head just momentarily looking to the side, to the alleyway. When a familiar figure was illuminated by a screen’s light in his pocket. A familiar figure with a familiar ring tone in a foreign situation. The flower on her hair dropping to her worn out shoes.

It was like a blink. Like a flicker of the light. It was at least just 2 seconds when she saw it.

There he was. Frustrated, grinning, calling out for his ‘kitten’ and balls deep in a girl she has never even seen before.

Taglist: @boosyboo9206 @kuroos-babie @yamaguchi-stan @janellion @cthuroo (thank you for helping me I love you) @my-mass-hysteria @zoppzoop

#hq kuroo x reader #kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu kuroo x reader #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#anime #hq anime #anime series #haikyuu nekoma #haikyuu angst #hq nekoma #hq angst #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #hq kuroo tetsuro #hq kuroo

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valatheapprentice · 4 years

Text

Echoes of the Past

Brought to us by @arcana-echoes

Vala Quintus

Hometown

Vala was born as Princess Alexandra Cirillo in the kingdom of Sparta. She wasn't allowed to go out into the kingdom. The few times her hand maiden would allow her to sneak out, shed find herself in a rowdier part. Despite being loud and reckless, they seemed to be very mindful and playful with her. She ran away at 6 and came to Vesuvia, where she was adopted and lived a fairly normal childhood in a nice neighborhood

Parents (mentions abuse)

Her birth parents were very cordial at best. They were very patriotic, proud and loving of their kingdom. When their son, valas older brother, was born, they loved him about as much. Years go by and they make a deal with the devil. Im exchange of their children's magic, he would be sure sparta lived on forever and that their children would go down in history. Since their son had no magick and an only child then, they agreed. A few years go by and they give birth to vala. While they loved her at first. That changed the moment she displayed magical abilities. With fear of the devil and magick being outlawed and detested , they would lock her in a cellar and place shackles on her to prevent her using said magic. By age three, Centaurs had threatened the kingdom. In exchange for being left alone, her parents agreed to let her be taken from time to time to entertain them, beating and r*ping her when they had gotten drunk. At this point they had seen her as more of an object and annoyance. When she ran away, war broke out and they died in that war.

Her adoptive parents were a lot different. They found her on the beach and took her in, despite originally not wanting kids. With nightmares and being former royalty (now kept secret) came behavior issues they had to help her overcome. They were extremely patient but stern. They gave her a fun and warm home and she lived 9 years as a fairly normal and happy child until her mother died when she was 15. She learned to cook and got her sense of humor from them. They signed her up for belly dance lessons, which she uses along woth her root work. Which they encouraged her into practicing.

Magick

She first showed signs of magick at age 2, but didn't really know it. As she got older she realized she could do things but was quickly punished for doing them. Once she was able to harness her power, she realized she was strongest with fire and chaos magick. She found some travelers and learned root work and conjuring from them. Which she continued researching and practicing after they left. She also has a strong connections to spirits and works/talks to them often

Education

She was heavily tutored as a princess, forced to learn Italian, and law despite being told she could never amount to anything due to her duties. In Vesuvia, she attended a public school until she dropped out at 15. Due to her love of dance and her Magick type, choir and science were her favorite subjects

The "aunt"

In her teens, she had been in trouble with the law frequently. Once she got back on her feet, she found qnd abandoned home and more or less squatted in it. She fixed it up with asras and her dads help and turned it into her shop "Magick and Mayhem". As soon as they started getting business, she was able to pay rent for it. The police she dealt with before let her slide of some formalities so they can keep seeing her stay out of trouble

Friends

In Sparta, her only friend was her handmaidens son, whom she rarely played with. In vesuvia, she had a habit of befriending colorful characters. One she was close to before she dropped out happened to be the daughter of a crime boss, Stella (another oc and LI for valerius)

Occupation (mentions substance abuse)

She dropped out of school after becoming dependent on drugs and entering an abusive relationship with her dealer. Despite helping forgive his debt in unsavory ways, she learned /some/ business skills through selling for him after a few years, such as negotiations.

Familiar

Her familiar is a possum named Arthur. She found him in a box labeled "free kitty" and couldn't resist. They are able to communicate and heal eachother. Hes able to sense peoples energy and his reactions can be seen as a warning for her. Together, they can manipulate the energy in anyone and anything. Its just a matter of if the want to or should

First loves (mentions abuse)

She had one love before meeting asra. Pete Uchiha (street name Ocho) was her dealer turned boyfriend when she was 15. Despite the good times she clung to and being too young to know better, he mentally, physically, and sexually abused her and forced her into dealing for him and attacking people who owed him. After 2 years of his paranoia and control. She met asra when he was homeless and a thief. They quickly went from being friends to facing an affair.

Cuisines

Growing up with her new family, her dad absolutely loves making chili and spicy beer chicken. While she could eat those everyday, she and her mom loved anything involving shrimp and gyros.

Defining moment (mentions substance abuse, attempted suicide, and crimes)

While she was considerate of others and wanted to be nice to everyone, she had little foresight, no impulse control, and often just thought of herself. The moment that really made her change her life was when she was 19. She had discovered she she could make any surface become soft and safe to land on. So she, Pete, and mutual friends would go onto a roof top, get high And basically fall into a dumpster. This went on for years until one day, her friend jumped and missed the spot, killing him. Once she realized what happened she was grief and guilt stricken and tried to overdose. Luckily, she was found and taken to the hospital where she started to detox. Later on she was arrested for manslaughter but was released on probation. That was the moment she realized she couldn't live like that. Pete was put on jail, she broke things off, and swore to never get high again and makeup for every wrong shes everyone, or try, since she finds herself responsible for the war as well. Still is and always will be, impulsive though

Holidays

She is a pagan, worshipping the Greeks gods (patron is Hermes, arcana is judgement). She follows the basic pagan holiday wheel. She will give either food drink or dance offerings and meditate to give her thanks to them and the spirits

Aftermath

After she had died, outside of asra, her father was completely grief stricken. Customers and neighbors felt sorry for their loss, a few even missing her and her energetic and kind energy. When asra brought her back, everyone knew something messed up happened and looked at them like outcasts. She has absolutely no memory and has to relearn how to talk, so this confused and disheartened her greatly. When asra told her dad, they got into a huge fight, her dad angry for putting more turmoil in their lives. So far (in my stories at least) he can't bare to face her, knowing she doesn't remember him yet/anymore

In another life

If she hadn't have left sparta. She would have died. Lets be real.

Given how she got the plague (kissing lucio, in a story ill post), it could have been avoided but then asra wouldn't have needed to be at the palace in her place and who knows what would have happened if lucio got his way in the ritual. Even ignoring that, when shed face asra again, it wouldn't have worked out. At least nothing would be easily forgiven. She'd probably be a numb and tired person after

If she had left with him, I think she'd feel guilt for leaving. Like itd be a happier life, being safe with asra in a new place, but I see her being more depressed and submissive. She just agreed to leave her home and father to rot in her mind.

Freebie

So, and I didnt know why until my husband helped me figure it out, but I always imagined her and julian getting married before having kids and her and lucio getting pregnant before getting married. Im one for diving deep into the psychology of my and other characters. While she and julian are no where near innocent and all, they tend to have a more wholesome relationship. She is very headstrong and a switch. Julian is in my mind a switch but is more submissive in personality. Lucio is just as headstrong as well as temperamental. So they but heads a lot and can be seen as a very emotionally charged couple. She does believe love is an action more so than a feeling, thanks to her adoptive mom and dad, and not many people put up with his shit out of love, so they do put the effort onto each other. So the more traditional route, in my mind I guess is better fit for julian and the chaotic route fits lucio better. (Idk I love doing deep dives into this kind of thing. Like ill spend hours talking to my super smart husband or researching to find the correct mindsets)

#the arcana apprentice #the arcana game #the arcane mc #the arcana #echoes of the past #arcana eotp #the arcana asra #the arcana julian #the arcana lucio #oc backstory #my oc stuff

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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 3 years

Text

Discord pt 93

[Date: 18/03, 05:45 PM GMT - 18/03, 06:29 PM GMT]

[Prior to the below conversation, Maxwell and the people from the server were discussing how the liquid from the cut-off bud from the previous day appears to be red to Maxwell, yet it had appeared as white in color to Marcus and the others after the bud was cut. The bud was also fairly large, about half the size of Maxwell’s thumb, and may have been one of the calendula marigolds, not the freesias. The flower petals can be around like a normal petal, but they’re still metal. The bud hadn’t wilted]

Maxwell: “so....

whats this about”

|[Little-K1ng: “I wish I hadn’t snapped at fetch like that… maybe when he comes back I can give him a proper apology”

Maxwell: “hm perhaps that would be good

family should get along”]|

Marcus: “.....

..we didn't want to worry you”

Jack the Observer: “that was the spoilered image from yesterday afternoon. Mona decided it would be beneficial not to let you know.

you know. seeing as it was rather uncharacteristic.”

donti (e): “... yea”

Marcus: “...seeing as you had already spoken ender”

Maxwell: “i...i dont remember saying that”

Jack the Observer: “i doubt it was actually you who said it.

much more likely it was some partial incarnation of Page.”

Marcus: “....it didn't sound like you”

Maxwell: “the fuck do you mean it didnt sound like me

I....”

Marcus: “i mean it didn't sound like you, Max”

Maxwell: “why didnt you tell me!”

Marcus: “we didn't want to worry you!”

Maxwell: “want me to worry?! about what! that Im gonna end up back with crown even if I dont wanna be! I already know that!”

donti (e): “heey hey they.. didnt want to worry you

everything else was already stressful..”

Marcus: “...”

Jack the Observer: “donti.

your goody goody nice-talk is not helpful here.”

Marcus: “max”

donti (e): “... alright.”

Marcus: “im sorry”

Maxwell: “.....

look i just

i hate being treated like a child

i mean

Its like the whole circlet argument all over again!”

Marcus: “....the

max?”

Maxwell: “what”

Marcus: “how do you

how do you know about that argument”

Maxwell: “I DONT KNOW OKAY”

Marcus: “max what else do you remember”

Maxwell: “IVE-- ive been remembering random things while forgetting others i cant tell anymore”

Marcus: “......

why didn't you... tell us?

how long”

Maxwell: “I just thought they were dreams or nightmares

i dont know....ever since the trial maybe?”

Marcus: “..

max”

Maxwell: “what...”

Marcus: “i'm sorry”

Maxwell: “FOR WHAT WHY CANT YOU JUST TELL ME”

Marcus: “everything

for everything okay!

i'm sorry we didn't tell you about the voice thing last night

i'm sorry fetch tried to lie about the buds in your hair!

i'm sorry that you and i got into that stupid argument and that we had to leave our family because i wouldnt tell you something!”

Maxwell: “I hate this....why does everyhting think they have to keep things from me”

Marcus: “I'm sorry”

Maxwell: “I aint a god damn kid....i havent been for a while....”

Marcus: “I know that Max

I know”

Maxwell: “.....you....”

Marcus: “....”

Maxwell: “marcus

stand in the light for a sec”

Marcus: “im sorry

what?”

Maxwell: “please please just stand in the sunlight for a moment”

Marcus: “max..?”

Maxwell: “.....I think I know why you've been so tired....”

Marcus: “stress?”

Maxwell: “no...

i...im sorry me getting made probably brought it on im so fucking sorry--”

Marcus: “..max?”

Maxwell: “the leaves”

Marcus: “the what”

Jack the Observer: “huh.

marcus is also growing a wreath.”

Maxwell: “the leaves have sprouted”

disks and the color red |Stars: “thats unfortunate”

Maxwell: “im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry”

Jack the Observer: “interesting”

LLyr: “max, this isnt your fault”

Marcus: “i...”

donti (e): “heeeyy thats kinda rude guysss”

Marcus: “max why would this be your fault”

LLyr: “there’s no way you could have prevented or made this happen”

Jack the Observer: “[i whisper to dave] i wonder how much it will effect him, considering the circlet did little to nothing”

Maxwell: “but it happened after we started arguing after I upset you im so fucking sorry oh my god”

[donti (e): “heeeyy thats kinda rude guysss”]

LLyr: “thats just how they are :3″

emuhlee: “this isn't very pleasant :(”

donti (e): “yea.”

Marcus: “max it isn't your fault”

Maxwell: “but arent you in pain?!”

Marcus: “um

not..really?”

Jack the Observer: “well. it makes sense that the "happiness wreaths" grow off of negative emotions.”

Maxwell: “......what...”

Marcus: “i didn't even notice it happened”

Maxwell: “you...how--

syd screamed in pain I had headaches for days and even fetch is hurting...”

Marcus: “i dont... i don't know max

i don't have answers”

Jack the Observer: “oh, you're only partially immune”

Marcus: “immune???”

Jack the Observer: “should've guessed – you still lost your memories after all.”

Raeva: “It could be because you've spent much more time with Crown than the rest of them”

Jack the Observer: “the circlet only worked partially. of course this wreath only works partially as well.”

[Jack the Observer: “[i whisper to dave] i wonder how much it will effect him, considering the circlet did little to nothing”]

disks and the color red |Stars: “dunno. i still think he wont go with the rest of them though [he whispers back]”

Marcus: “.........”

Jack the Observer: “if that were the case, the circlets should have less effect on Prince and Baron as well

not to mention Countess.”

Marcus: “....oh that's your assumption...”

donti (e): “... they didnt need the laurels though”

Maxwell: “hm...”

Jack the Observer: “based on historical evidence, i would guess that Crown effects you less, in particular”

Marcus: “max...

max what are you humming?”

donti (e): “uh

Jack the Observer : “if you're taken again, remember morse code :)”

Maxwell: “....what...”

donti (e): “... didnt crown figure out the morse code?”

Marcus: “..hm..hm...”

donti (e): “he used it in an ask of his own?”

Raeva: “Now you're both humming?”

Marcus: “max how do you know that tune?”

Marcus: “you've never...

max?”

Maxwell: “......know that I'm with you the only way that I can.....”

Marcus: “....Until you're in my arms again....”

disks and the color red |Stars: “...interesting”

Maxwell: “.....remember me.....”

Marcus: “.....max”

Maxwell: “.....i dont know....

i cant tell whats my memories and whats....his”

Marcus: “....sometimes I can't either”

Maxwell: “I hate it....it hurts...”

Marcus: “...I'm sorry”

Maxwell: “its not you...I'm....Im happy I met you guys...”

Marcus: “i'm glad i met you too..”

Baroness: “Hello Page and Viscount. :)”

Marcus: “the real you”

Maxwell: “ugh god, fuck off baroness...”

Marcus: “what the fuck are you doing in here”

Maxwell: “we aint in the mood”

Maxwell: “okay wait how the fuck did you get into the god damn house”

Baroness: “I just thought I'd come by and see how things were growing. It looks like we're becoming a family again. :)”

[Maxwell: “okay wait how the fuck did you get into the god damn house”]

Baroness: “Hmm, i think the door was unlocked. Funny that. :)”

Maxwell: “what”

Maxwell: “oh....mona left it unlocked in case fetch came back...”

Marcus: “......”

emuhlee: “.... :(”

Baroness: “So, it looks like you're starting to bloom Viscount. Are you excited? :)”

Marcus: “.......”

Maxwell: “leave him alone you piece of shit

or else ill be the one biting at you”

Marcus: “..max”

Maxwell: “STOP CALLING HIM THAT”

Baroness: “Calling him what? his name? tell me, do you feel more like a Page or a Maxwell right now?”

Maxwell: “maxwell you dumb bitch”

Marcus: “.......”

Baroness: “Alright. I'm sure that will change soon. :)”

Marcus: “Pa- max don't antagonize her, please”

Maxwell: “you piece of shit you do anything to my family [deleted shortly afterwards] friends AND ILL KILL YOU”

donti (e): “heeey maxx chill

we should.. not do anything.. we will regret

haha

hi baroness”

Marcus: “...”

Baroness: “I'm not doing anything.

The bloom will happen and spring will come.

You can't stop the changing of the seasons. :)

donti (e): “very poetic.. thank you”

Baroness: “I'm just here to tend to the flowers. :)”

LLyr: “i mean with that logic winter will come eventually, won’t it?”

Maxwell: “no BUT I CAN SHOVE MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT”

Marcus: “Page- Max please stop yelling”

Maxwell: “.....”

donti (e): “hEYyyyYYYYyyyyyyyy heeeyyy everyone caaaallllmmmmm dooownnnn no need to yell”

[Maxwell: “no BUT I CAN SHOVE MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT”]

Baroness: “Page, Page, Page. Is that any way to speak to your family?”

Maxwell: “YOU AINT MY FAMILY YOU PIECE OF SHIT”

Void: “for someone so concerned with a happy family baroness is awfully good at sowing discord and unhappiness”

donti (e): “heyy heyy no need for sniping comments”

Marcus: “..not the time for puns, donti”

[Void: “for someone so concerned with a happy family baroness is awfully good at sowing discord and unhappiness”’

Baroness: “Sometimes you have to snip a few weeds for beautiful flowers to grow. :)”

Void: “hm. don't like that.”

[Maxwell: “YOU AINT MY FAMILY YOU PIECE OF SHIT]

Baroness: “:)”

Marcus: “.....”

#on:discord #by:maxwell #by:marcus #by:baroness #if the crown fits

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karasumajo · 3 years

Text

I read through the old messages with my last favorite person.

I never realized how easily I would bend to his word and needs 😅 or just how much affection and care I'd give to him. At the time I guess I wouldn't have, I use to react purely on emotions and feelings without a thought.

I guess if makes sense that my ex didn't like him, but I would still talk to him and make time and do my best to always be there for him. Now, looking back,I guess I could see why my ex boyfriend felt the threat from him. But it was purely just friendship.

I guess I liked having someone to care about and who depended on my being there for them.

There was a conversation I saw between him and I

Him: "Are you awake?"

Me: "of course, what's up?"

Him: "I just really need someone. I'm feeling anxious, sad, I can't sleep."

Me: " :( I'm always here ____♡ it's okay. Do you want to talk on the phone? Want to come over? Want foods?"

Him: "idk, I guess not being alone would be nice, ill head over."

Me: "okay, I'll make something to eat! We can sit outside and eat! See you soon ♡"

It was like 2am. I remember that day was a terrible day at work but I wanted to be there for him lol. But it was always that way when he didn't want to be alone, and I always made myself available to him.

We even had a conversation once where he proposed that if when we are older and single, perhaps we can just have some kind of FWB relationship 😅 and I just...agreed. like I didn't even factor in how that might effect me.

Anyway, what hurt me to read was when I realized I was begging him to talk to me. I mean I don't blame him, his relationship would obviously be more important than me and also I guess having me as a friend was a liability. But I did my best to keep boundaries for him and his gf. I just wanted him to talk to me at least.

But then, one day, he said something....so ...stupid lol

We had gone to the mall together as we usually did, and his gf called, asked what he was up To.

He told her.. "I'm at the mall with my ex."

.......

Not (my name here). Not "my best friend". Not even just "my friend". MY EX. WHO TF SAYS THAT ???

So I guess she obviously was unhappy and he goes to take the call privately. I started feeling anxious and like I'm doing something wrong... 😅 when he came back I asked if that's all he sees me as? His ex? And he said Well you are, you're my ex girlfriend after all, im not going to lie to her.

I said but ____ ...I'm you're friend... 😅. And he said Yeah, but we dated. You're my ex.

So here we are at the mall, I just bought him all these gifts because yknow I'm a dumb bitch, and he's just there calling me his ex and nonchalantly... 😅

That's where things went downhill.

His girlfriend hated me. My existence. I guess rightfully so...but she never would tell him to get shit together, she would come after me about it with messages and phone calls...it was stressful lol.

Then when I thought things were fine, everything finally was hashed out, I still have my fp, his gf is actually cool, she's my new friend. Everything is fine

He blocked me.

He didn't just block me, but basically erased my existence from his life.

Couldn't text or call him. Couldn't DM him. Couldn't send him a fb message. Literally nothing.

His brother told me he got rid of all the paintings I made for him. All the gifts.

He deleted me.

And I just... didn't exist anymore.

I panicked. I got scared and I got anxious and I tried what I could to just get a word out of him, something. Just tell me WHY?????? lol..like why just shut me out, in like the most random and hurtful way possible? After everything, don't I at least deserve a heads up? An explanation? Idk, something? Fucking smoke signals? A letter? An email?????

That was it. He just deleted me. My last message to him I left on IG was

"____ I'm not even angry at this point. Just please tell me what I did wrong now? Please just tell me what happened? I'm sorry if I hurt you or if I hurt ______ in anyway...Just don't shut me out like this please. Whatever your reasons are at this point okay fine but just please tell me why and what I did. I just need to at least know.."

I got no reply back and that was the last message.

For the next following days, weeks, months. I guess I went through withdrawal of not talking to him everyday 😅 not having that friendship. I was depressed, crying all the time, anxiety would rise and fall throughout the day dramatically. I'd anxiously look at my phone hoping he'd replied. But I never got anything.

I missed him.

After some time, another person we knew told me that he was talking about me at his job. At first I thought "oh? Maybe he's thinking of talking to me again?"

But no.

He talked about what a shit friend I was. How I never showed care. How I apparently was always such a bitch and didn't know how to just chill out. How I was always so intense and my favorite "she's a mess".

He read my message, and told everyone he didn't bother replying because "how can she not see how she's a lot".

😅

So naturally, I emailed him 😂.

I told him how much I hated him, how he's a piece of shit, how dare he call me a bad friend. I told him what a little bitch he is and how I wanted to beat his face in and to stay the fuck away from me forever.

Yknow, all that good stuff...

I mean clearly, yeah, I'm a mess. But I wasn't a bad friend. That much I knew, but it didn't matter. The thoughts ate me up. The worry and overthinking had a field day in my head. The constant thought of "you see how you're so much you just fuck shit up? Why can't you just be normal?"

He made me question my own sanity, my love, the way I am. Am I really innocent? What if he's right? What I even fooled myself into thinking I'm good but really, what if I'm just so evil that I'm good at manipulating others into believing I'm good?

I still wonder that tho, I live in constant doubt of myself and my own intentions, I wonder if I'll ever be able to just be me and not feel like I constantly need to validate and confirm my own emotions and feelings accordingly. It's tiring and now I don't even know how to just react without thinking about my reactions first.

Today he tried pretending non of that happened. Like he never had anything to do with the way I am now. He smiled, he joked, he talked to me, he tried hugging me. He took me to Chipotle to get lunch. Then he asked me about how I've been and how I've been dealing with my anxiety. Because he worried.....

LOL EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME SIR???????

Needless to say I went off and told him how we are just coworkers and he lost the right to ask that question forever ago.

Still, the fucked up part is, I still miss him. 🙄 ew.

I don't even know why I'm writing all this. Maybe Because writing it makes it so that it's out of my head and here. Maybe a small part of me felt happy today because small moments felt like the old days. With his dumb jokes and always finding ways to make me laugh and smile.

Mostly I guess to remind myself why I can't let myself be swayed back in a friendship with someone like him. Because I know that if I did, it would just end the same and I would have played myself again.

Womp, well that was a lot 😅 im gonna go back to sleep now, this kinda helped I guess.

Sorry for the long rant and shit 😅 goodnight nobody and everybody!

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embeanwrites · 4 years

Text

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 20

Masterlist

Hey, come over to my apartment when you get off?

have to feed cats then ill be over, probs an hour

Works for me

warning im exhausted

When are you not? Besides I only date you for the cuddles anyway.

rude but fair

I sighed, laying on my couch. My apartment was becoming less dull, but it still needed some work. It was Wednesday evening and I had already prepped for my class tomorrow. After the previous night with my dad and Connor I were feeling a lot better. I hadn’t been able to see Gavin yesterday, he was at the DPD until 4 am. He even had to have Tina stop by his house to feed his cats. I was excited to tell him about how talking to my dad went. I was also looking forward to telling him about my class.

I was scrolling through my phone when finally, Gavin knocked on my door. I jumped up and let him in. He dramatically walked in and flopped himself down on my couch.

“Well, hello to you too.” I said closing the door and looking back at him. He’d already closed his eyes. I walked over and made him move his feet. “Long day?”

“Too long. Nines is on my case about my paperwork. I always get it done like Jesus, he's not my boss. He needs to lay off.” He mumbled. He wiped his eyes and sat up. “Sorry. How was your class yesterday?”

“It was good, and be nice to Nines, he’s just doing his job.” I gently brushed his hair out of his face and smiled. “I’m excited for my class tomorrow. We’re finally getting into the real class work and not the b.s. syllabus day crap.”

“How did talking with your dad go?” He leaned into my hand.

“Better than I expected. I’m pretty sure without Connor’s help we still wouldn’t be talking. I want the four of us to get dinner soon.” He groaned and laid back down, putting his legs back on my lap. “Hey, come on.” He sighed.

“Tin Can can’t even eat, (Y/n). Why would we go to dinner?”

“Connor.” He sighed.

“I don’t want to do this right now, I’m tired.”

“Then call him Connor and not ‘tin can.’” I replied gently.

“Slipped my mind.” He mumbled.

“Slipped your mind to treat Connor with respect?”

“(Y/n), I call Nines the same thing.”

“That doesn’t make it okay, Gavin.”

“Neither of them have complained. They can stand up for themselves if they want.”

“Just because they haven’t said anything about it doesn’t mean it’s automatically okay, Gavin.”

“They’re big robots, let them stand up for themselves.” I moved Gavin’s legs off my lap and got up. I started pacing and biting the skin of my thumb. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gavin watching me pace. “(Y/n), it’s not a big- “

“You better not say it’s not a big deal!” I snapped, finally turning to face him and pulling my hand away from my mouth to jab my finger accusingly at him. “Connor has been nothing but kind to me since I’ve come back to Detroit! He has defended you to my dad and spoken up for you!” I started walking towards my kitchen. I needed to do something with my hands, so I started putting away clean dishes. Just anything to keep my hands busy.

“It’s like a playful nickname, (Y/n)!” Gavin yelled as he followed me.

“No! Gavin it’s not! You call him tin can, plastic detective, plastic prick, and probably more I haven’t heard! It’s rude and horrible! Those are not playful, and you know it!” I whipped around and looked at him. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Why does it matter? He’s not even here!”

“It matters because he’s practically my family, Gavin! I care about him and I don’t want to listen to you make fun of him!”

“Oh my god, you’re being way too dramatic! Calling him Tin Can is not making fun of him! You’re the one who asked me to come over, you knew I would be exhausted! Why do you want to pick a fight?”

“I’m not picking a fight!”

“Jesus Christ (Y/n)! What do you think is happening right now? You are picking a fight over the smallest thing right now! What the fuck happened to you that makes you defend androids so fucking much!” Taken back by his words I took a step back and folded my arms over my chest.

“I’d like you to leave now.” I whispered.

“(Y/n), come on.” He took a step towards me and I took one back.

“I need you to leave.” I raised my voice and glared at him.

“Fine.” He said, throwing his hands up. He slammed the door shut behind him. I took a shaky breath, attempting to calm myself down.

It took thirty minutes of pacing around my living room stewing in my anger for it to dissipate. I finally laid down on my couch, grabbing my phone. No new notifications. Good. It's not like I wanted Gavin to text me anyway. I opened messenger anyway, I'd been alone all day and now I only wanted one androids company.

Are you busy?

No. Why?

Can you come over?

I can be there in 11 and a half minutes.

I exhaled and put my phone on the coffee table, and covered my face with my hands, scrubbing off all the residual ick of volatile emotions. I closed my eyes and thought about what I said. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad, but Connor was becoming an important person in my life and I didn’t want to listen to Gavin patronize him. What even was my relationship with Connor? He didn’t mind when I said ‘dad’ instead of ‘my dad.’ Would he mind if I called him my brother? Should I even ask? Connor was new at this whole emotion thing and trying to figure out family dynamics couldn’t be easy.

There was a light knock at my door. I got up and opened it and let Connor in. He smiled gently.

“Is Gavin here?”

“He was, why?”

“His jeep is in the parking lot.” I told him to leave. Why was he still here? If he thought I was going to come down there and apologize to him, he was sorely mistaken.

“How do you know it’s his, Connor?”

“The license plate number.” I laughed and sat back on the couch. Connor smiled and sat down. “Are you okay?” I sighed.

“No, but I’m getting there. Connor, I want to ask you something and I want you to be 100 percent honest, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Would you be comfortable if I referred to you as my brother?” He froze and his LED spun red. “If that makes you uncomfortable or if you just don’t like it then I don’t have to. I just wanted to ask.” I spit out as quickly as I could.

“Could I call you my sister?” He asked quietly. I smiled widely.

“Of course, being siblings is a two-way street.” I bumped my shoulder into his.

“Why ask me now?” He looked at me softly.

“Well…to be honest me and Gavin got in a fight. He called you ‘Tin Can,’ and I got mad. I said that you were practically my family and that’s true, Connor. You’re basically dad’s son. He cares about you a lot and I care about you too.” He nodded, his LED still spinning red. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly. He paused for a moment.

“I’m trying to come up with the right words, (Y/n). I am honored you see me as a brother and to be honest I also view you and Hank as family. However, I worry that I may be overstepping my bounds. I’m not trying to replace Cole.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Connor, neither of us expect you to replace Cole. You can be a son and a brother without replacing Cole. I think Cole would be happy with how much you’ve done for dad. He’s not an easy person to get along with, but somehow, you’ve managed to get close to him and help him. He cares about you, Connor. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that.” He nodded; his LED turned yellow and finally back to blue.

“You’re really okay with me calling you my sister?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.” He smiled at me.

“I’m sorry, you and Gavin got into a fight because of me.”

“Don’t. I’m not going to let Gavin make fun of you, Nines, or any other android.” Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I groaned, having very little doubt that it was Gavin. I glanced at Connor who was looking at the door. Sighing, I got up and opened my door. My suspicions were confirmed. “Were your ears burning? What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

“Why are you still here? I asked you to leave.”

“(Y/n), can I please come in so we can talk about this.”

“I don’t know. Are you going to be mean to Connor? Or perhaps you want to insult me instead. Let’s see you can still go after my anxiety, my lack of friends, or you haven’t insulted my dad today! Want to take your pick?”

“(Y/n) …” Connor spoke behind me. I turned around and sighed. Moving to let Gavin into my apartment.

“Hey, Connor.” Gavin said. I was surprised to see Connor glaring at Gavin, he normally seemed happy go lucky. I wondered if he was trying to protect me from getting hurt again by Gavin.

“Detective Reed.” He responded curtly. I sat back down next to Connor and crossed my arms.

There was a tense silence for a moment, before Gavin, who was staring at the floor, sighed and muttered ‘okay’ under his breath and then looked up at me. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’m just tired and things slip sometimes. I have been getting better about that shit ask Connor.” I dragged my eyes away from Gavin and looked over at Connor. For a moment he sat there not saying anything and finally he sighed and responded.

“The daily insults have decreased.” Connor agreed begrudgingly. I sighed.

“Gavin, you have to get better about that. Connor is my family and I’m not going to be with someone who doesn’t treat him with respect.” Gavin sighed.

“I’m trying, but it takes time. I’m going to slip up and I’m sorry. I promise I’m trying to get better.” I looked at Connor and he nodded. “Shit, do you guys have some kind of telepathic thing going on now?” I laughed.

“No, Gavin.” I looked at him and sighed. “I know you’re trying, but just…let me correct you without getting defensive, okay?” He nodded and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Gavin looked to the ground and scratched the back of his neck. “Uhhh, sorry about all the insults Connor.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” I smiled at Gavin’s question and looked at Connor.

“We still have Muppet Treasure Island left to watch.” Connor suggested. I laughed and Gavin groaned.

We all squeezed on to my small couch. I was squashed between the two men in front of the tv. Gavin had his arm resting on my shoulder and Connor was fidgeting with his coin, but kept his eyes locked on the movie. It was relaxing. I hoped we’d have more moments like this.

#gavin reed x reader #gavin reed #detroit become human #dbh #connor has major little brother energy #rk800connor #x reader

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 41

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: short smut scene. also, tell me how you felt! and if you thought something would happen or not and what you think of what did or didnt happen. not clear? just read, thank youuuu!

still no request for this chapter but i have a few planned very soon! PLEASE KEEP SENDING THEM!!! i love getting them! (ill reblog the post about it)

Chapter 41 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I was surprised at how much Niall would insist to talk to me. I had heard about him a lot in the first week but when the second week started, he seemed to be a bit too busy and I totally understood. I missed him, but I didn't want to stop him from living his trip plenty and the way he had expected to, I just decided to be there when he had time and not make a big deal of when he would cancel our plans. It was only six weeks, and half of those were already over, I had a lifetime to spend with Niall, or at least I hoped for it, so there were no reason to try and make him feel bad about it.

Still, the fact that he called twice by himself on the same night and seemed impatient to talk to me made me feel slightly better. I wanted to believe him when he said he'd stay faithful, and I knew he loved me, but how many people have cheated on their lover even thought they loved them? I knew I was being insecure but I felt like I was also being realist. I was well aware we didn't play for the same league, and that our statuses were different, but I liked to believe it didn't matter to him.

"I wish I was there with you too, petal." he whispered as I stared at him.

I wanted to tell him that if that's really what he wanted, he should jump in a plane and come back to me but I knew it was not reasonable and that not only would I be disappointed, I would also end up feeling guilty for asking, whether he'd come back or not, and I was pretty sure he wouldn't anyway.

We remained a while just looking at each other without talking and i loved the way his eyes roamed on my face. He finally moved slightly in bed and leaned his head on the pillow behind him. He was in the dark, his face only lighted up by the weak light of his phone, and it hit me how tired he was but also how handsome he was. I always knew, of course. I used to spend so much time analyzing his facial epressions and enjoying the way he laughed, but at this exact moment, it was even more obvious and the good thing was, he was looking at me in a loving way. He was staring at me in a romantic way, a way I would have never even dared to hope for, but it was happening.

"What were you saying before I parked?" I asked with a smirk, raising my eyebrows.

His lips curled too and he chuckled, shaking his head slightly. I loved knowing I could make him laugh.

"I said I wanted to feel myself inside you so bad, darling."

And I loved knowing I could make him horny, too.

"Let me just get inside-"

"No."he cut me, surprising me a bit. "Start where you are. Move your shirt up, petal, let me see your tits."

"Are you serious?" I wondered in a low tone, noticing his eyes falling on my body and making me suddenly very self-conscious.

"Dead serious, Liv. I haven't seen or touched you in three weeks and i've been sharing rooms with my cousins every damn night." he groaned low. "Please, show me your tits."

I bit my bottom lip, glancing around to see if someone could see me but I ended up just moving my hoodie up along with the shirt I was wearing under. I had decided not to wear a bra at all and I had to admit I was being a bit lazy in the past weeks but I missed Niall and I was too sad to care.

"Fuck, I wish I could touch you." he groaned again.

I waited a few seconds and finally brought one of my hands on my breasts, rubbing them slowly as I watched his face change. He moved slightly on his seat and shook his head, his eyes following my hands.

"I want my hands all over you." he whispered, making me biting my bottom lip.

"I want your mouth all over me."

I watched as he moved again and he finally positioned his phone better. I held my breath when I saw his fingers wrapped around his cock and my whole body started throbbing at the sight. I looked as his hand moved up on his length, reaching his tip, and he squeezed it a bit before going all the way back down, letting out a groan again.

I couldn't handle it anymore and grabbed my keys but just as I opened the door, I heard my boyfriend's voice again.

"Stay right where you are."

His voice was louder than normal and firm, and it made my heart skip a beat as I stopped moving completely. After a few seconds, I closed my door again and licked my lips, staring at him. I loved when he told me what to do and I just wanted to do everything he'd tell me to.

"I'll let you know when you can get inside."

I nodded quickly and pressed my thighs together, feeling my inner thighs throb harder. Three weeks felt so long without him and the bed felt so fucking empty but at that exact moment, I realized how far he was even more. If he was a few hours away, i'd drive to him just to feel him inside me and then drive back, but it was impossible. I missed the warmth of his body and I was craving him and his hands on me. I wanted to feel his breath on my neck so bad that something in my stomach stirred.

"Move your phone a bit darling, and slip your hand in your pants. I want to watch you touch yourself."

I was grateful he didn't ask me to get naked because it was a bit cold outside and did exactly what he asked. I felt my cold fingers brush against my cit and let out a short whimper as my legs tensed.

"Haven't touched myself in so long, fuck." he admitted, making me bite my bottom lip. "Should have brought you with me."

My lips curled and I chuckled slightly, tilting my head.

"So you could just use me to get laid and then abandon me in crappy motels?"

"So what?" he smirked and raised his eyebrows. "Don't pretend you wouldn't want to be my little fuck toy."

My smile fell and I pressed my lips together, making him smirk even more. I pressed the tip of one of my fingers on my clit and whimpered more.

"I already am." I whispered.

"Yea? Tell me."

I pushed two of my fingers inside me and breathed in, my heartbeats accelerate at the feeling. I wanted him so bad it was barely bearable.

"I'm your little fuck toy." I murmured as I noticed his eyes dropping to my lips and then between my legs. "I'm all yours, you own me."

"Are you wet, petal?" he asked before I slowly nodded. "Take your fingers out and suck on them."

Reluctantly, I took my hand out of my pants and very slowly brought my fingers to my mouth, brushing them on my bottom lip and finally letting my tongue slide on them. After a few seconds, I pushed them in my mouth and sucked on them while staring at him. I had never felt as attractive to someone as I did to Niall and it was a great feeling.

"Okay just get in the house now." he ordered quickly. "You close the door behind yourself and get totally naked. Do it."

I didn't have time to time, I just rushed out of the car with my phone in hands and unlocked the door quickly before getting in and closing it behind me. I put the phone on the first counter I saw and took both my shirts off before pulling down my pants and panties.

"Get on the couch."

I tried to think of a way to make things easier and finally just leaned the phone on an arm's couch as I got on my knees, on the couch too, facing my phone. Quickly, I brought my hand between my legs and started touching myself again. I couldn't explain how horny I was and I was pretty sure I wouldn't last long.

"Mm, it's hell without you, you know it, right?" i confessed with a short whimper as I pushed my fingers inside me again. "I miss you."

I brought my free hand to my breasts and felt my eyes flutter as I was bringing myself closer and loser to an orgasm.

"It's hell without you too." he breathed, moving his phone a bit, making me see that he was jerking himself harder.

The sight made my whole body tense and my lips parted. I was about to say something when he groaned again.

"Pet, you're gonna make me cum."

That thought made me reach my peak and I started shaking. My eyes fluttered close but I forced myself to keep them open just to stare at him.

"Niall, fuck... oh god, Niall!"

I heard him moan louder this time and watched as his face twisted before my eyes dropped to his cock. Watching him cum all over himself made my orgasm even stronger and I let myself fall on the couch when my heartbeats started decelerating. I grabbed my phone and brought it up, biting my bottom lip as I looked at him slightly embarrassed.

"Three weeks without you, three weeks without an orgasm." I pointed out after a minute of silence.

"That's way too long." he chuckled. "And hearing you moan my name as you came? Fuck, darling, you need to do that more often."

"I agree." my lips curled and I just licked them as a shiver crossed my whole body.

"Cold?" he asked as I nodded. "You can dress back up, i'll wait."

I sent him a fond smile and put the phone done before getting up and going to his room to get a pair of sweatpants and when I came back, I grabbed his hoodie again and put it on, leaving the rest of my clothes on the floor. I knew he'd hate it if he was here and I did plan on putting them in the laundry basket but it could wait. I came back and lied down, grabbing my phone again. He noticed my hoodie and smiled, moving his chin in my direction.

"Did you at least wash it?" he asked, making me shaking my head. "Disgusting."

I grimaced and he laughed but I just tilted my head.

"It barely smells like you anymore." I explained with a shrug. "You've been away for too long."

We stared at each other for what seemed like an hour and he finally passed his hand in his hair, making a cute mess of it before sighing low.

"I know." he replied cautiously. "I'll be back in three weeks though, you think you'll be okay?"

Something seemed to break in my chest and I was scared it was my heart but i ignored it and nodded a bit, sending him a sad smile. It was unfair of me to make him feel guilty and I swallowed my pain. He brought his phone closer and I tried to focus on how blue his eyes were but he stopped himself as soon as his lips parted. The door flew open and I saw movements behind him, hearing someone laugh.

"You alone?" Niall asked with a frown.

"Yea I think he'll be back late, maybe only in the morning." Willie explained. "Mate, the girl you left alone at the bar to come here? She was dirty!"

I felt my heart jump in my chest, not really knowing what it meant exactly but I could swear it was not something good. My smile fell and Niall quickly got up, showing his forefinger to his cousin and locking himself in the bathroom.

"Niall?" I asked in a murmur, swallowing again but my tears this time.

"No wait, Liv, it was just a girl flirting with me, nothing happened."

"Nothing happened because I accidentally called you? Or nothing would have happened anyway?"

I didn't want to be the hysterical jealous girlfriend but my boyfriend was on the other side of the world and it literally took the smallest thing to make my imagination run wild.

"Nothing would have happened, Olivia, I fucking swear on my life." he replied low, staring in my eyes. "I'm so sorry, I promise there's no reason to stress or anything. I love you and only you."

"Love and sex aren't always linked, Niall." I pointed out low, closing my eyes a few seconds.

"You're right, but this time, it is." he replied, making me frown. "I mean that this relationship is different. I would never do that to you."

I stared at him for a while and finally nodded gently. I trusted him, I always have and there was no reason for me to stop.

"Okay." I whispered so low I was not sure he heard me.

"I should sleep, it's late here." he replied softly. "But I'll text you tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded again, very slowly this time, and he raised his eyebrows, his facial expressions still very serious.

"Trust me, Liv. I'll never lie to you." he added. "I love you, goodnight darling."

"Goodnight Nee, I love you too."

The screen went black for a few seconds and then my phone's background appeared. I put my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes, trying to let my emotions get the best of me but after a few minutes I couldn't handle it anymore and started crying. I didn't even try to wipe the tears off my cheeks and I even allowed myself to sob for a while, feeling my tears slide down on my neck. I missed him, I was scared to lose him but most of all, I hated to feel like I was not enough, or like I didn't deserve him. It was an intense and disgusting feeling and it always made me feel like shit. I don't know how long I remained laying there on his couch crying but after a while, I took my phone and sent a quick text to Louis.

'SOS'

He replied so quick I sort of guessed he was already on his phone.

'I'm on my way.'

I turned on my side, my face pressed on the couch, trying to get rid of the bad feelings inside me without much success. It took me every ounce of strength I had left to get off the couch and walk to the door when Louis rang. He saw my face and immediately grimaced at my sight.

"You look horrible."

"And you look like that stupid emoji."

This time, he let out a short but loud laugh before wrapping both his arms around my neck and grossly kiss the side of my head, leaving a wet trace on purpose. I groaned and pushed him slightly.

"And suddenly it's like Niall never left." I half-joked.

I took a step back and sighed, closing my eyes. I felt Louis' hands on my uppe arms and opened my eyes again only to meet his. He sent me a small but understanding smile and my heart twisted in my chest.

"It's okay to be weak, Liv, you know?" he let out in a soft voice. "I know you, you're exactly like me. Let it go, okay? I'm not here to judge you and if it can reassure you, you're one of the strongest persons i've ever met."

I stared at him for a few seconds, swallowing hard again, and without thinking, I just threw myself in his arms. He held me tight against him and I buried my face in his shirt, crying without shame. I felt his hands rub my back gently as he remained silent. I was grateful for him and for his presence, especially since we barely knew each other, but I had to admit that he had been a real friend in the past few weeks.

"Come on, let's get you a drink darling."

I followed him to the kitchen, letting my feet rub against the floor in a lazy way, and watched as he took a few bottles out.

"Shooters and wine, how's that?"

I sent him a small smile and he replied with a big one, handing me the bottles as he grabbed glasses. We ended up on the couch and I brought my knees up, wrapping my arms around them as he poured us vodka in a shooter glass.

"To our new friendship." he said after handing me one.

I raised it up and quickly downed it and as soon as I put it on the coffee table, he filled it up again. I chuckled but accepted and drank it quickly, the liquid not burning my throat like the first one did.

I don't know how many glasses we drank but I was pretty sure the bottle of vodka wasn't even near being empty when we found it. The bottle of wine, on the other hand, I knew was full when Louis got it out of the fridge but I watched him fill my glass with what was left of it. I took a sip and put it on the table, leaning against the couch. We had talked a lot and I always enjoyed it. At first, I explained everything that happened with Niall and he told me how much Niall cared and loved me. The conversation changed and we literally ended up talking about anything that would come to mind, whether it was relating anecdotes or sharing our opinions of different subjects. Louis was funny and interesting and there was not a boring moment with him.

I felt a wave of fatigue hit me and leaned my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

"I'm so sorry about El." I mumbled, feeling drunker suddenly. "I know how much you love her."

"Yea well, shit happens." he replied after a moment of silence.

I moved my head up and frowned, staring at him until his eyes met mine.

"It's okay to be weak, Lou, you know?" I let out, using his exact words and making him smile.

I could see his eyes sparkle, or maybe it was only the light of the living room reflecting in them, but it made me smile more.

"You're right." he just admitted, grabbing both my hands between his. "Thanks so much for being there."

I chuckled and shook my head.

"No thanks to you for being there for me." I argued. "I mean I know Niall asked you to but yea, thank you anyway."

We stared at each other for a while and I felt better knowing I wouldn't spend the whole night alone again. He was drunk, probably drunker than me, and there was no way he could drive.

"You can use one of Niall's guest rooms if you want." I shrugged, getting up.

He pulled on my hands and I fell back on the couch, laughing a bit.

"I don't think you realize how beautiful you are, Olivia."

His words took me by surprised and my lips parted. My eyes roamed on his face and his grip tightened slightly on my hands. Mine were cold and the warmth of his made me feel better.

"You think Niall is gonna cheat on you, or stop loving you, or stop wanting you..." he added, shaking his head. "It's not true, he won't. I don't know why you keep saying he's out of your league. There's no league. There's just this strong bond between you two that will never be destroyed. It's obvious for all of us. You need to see it, too. Because I know exactly what Niall sees in you, and what Harry saw too. Why can't you see it?"

I felt my eyes water as I listened to him. He seemed sincere and I didn't know how to react or what to say. I just let my eyes roam on his face as I squeezed his fingers as tight as I could, nodding slowly. I couldn't talk, knowing y voice would crack, and moved a bit closer, leaning my head on his shoulder again.

I thought about Niall and how much I missed him. I thought about how he was everything to me, and about how bad I wanted this to last. I thought about everything we went through and every moment I was grateful for. I thought for so long that I ended up falling asleep.

When I woke up, it was already morning and I groaned, feeling the soft but annoying sun rays hit my face. I turned my head away and rubbed my face on the thighs my head was leaned on, feeling a shiver run up my spine.

"Mm, Niall." I whimpered very low, my eyes still closed.

"Mm, wrong lad, love."

Louis' voice took me by surprise and I quickly sat up, letting out a short wail and grimacing due to the sudden headache hitting me. Louis laughed and when I opened my eyes, he was looking at me with a big smile.

"'Morning!"

"Fuck mornings." I pointed out, making him laugh even more.

"Yea I hate them too." he admitted, raising his nose up. "How about we take some meds and go back to sleep in a real bed for a few more hours?"

"It's like you're reading my mind, Tommo."

He got up and extended his hand out. I grabbed it slowly and he helped me up as I grabbed my phone to bring it with me. I followed him to the bathroom but decided to check my messages, smiling suddenly when I saw Niall had sent me a few. I felt lighter despite all the alcohol still making me dizzy and read them all a few times.

'I'm thinking of you. I'm always thinking of you.'

'I wish you were here. I almost took a plane back after we hung up.'

'No one is you. I love you.'

The last one made my heart melt and when I looked up, Louis was smirking, reading Niall's texts over my shoulders.

"Hey! It's private!"

"Don't be all offended, you literally told me how you liked to be fucked last night."

I stared at him as my heart threatened to jump out of my throat. He laughed again and handed me two pills and a glass of water.

"Really?" I asked with a grimace after swallowing them.

"Oh really!" he chuckled. "Come on, go back to bed. I'll be right there if you need me."

He pointed out an other room and I nodded, walking to Niall's room and letting myself fall in his bed. His pillow still smelled a bit like him and I wrapped my arms around it, pressing my nose on it and inhaling deeply. I waited a few minutes but couldn’t seem to fall asleep without answering his text messages and I just took my phone that was laying next to me on the mattress, typing a message and trying not to make any typos.

'You are the love of my life. I'll always be waiting for you.'

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