#sorry if any of the romance stuff is weird i dont know what the fuck im doing!!! aromantic bitch hours

[captainzigo]

Welcome to me blog

If you are a mutual, DM me for an invite to discord server and subsequently to minecraft server

that’s a bunch of pictures of oc(/ponysona) Prickly Pear. she’s a cowgirl

FAQ below the break

i do take requests. i do not currently take commissions, but don’t be shy about sending requests. i can always say no. or fuck it up really bad.

you can send me asks and DMs at my sideblog @snapewife-divorce-lawyer any asks you send me should be like Strongbad emails. one paragraph. no attachments. unless you are sending me refs.

i reblog most stuff at my other sideblog: @3amgaypotion

you are fine to DM me, but remember i am not obligated to respond at all.

in any interactions, please keep in mind that i am a stranger on the internet and act accordingly

i am autistic. i say this because representation matters, but also because i would like to ask that you please be very frank with me. i don’t even really need your patience. just say what you mean and we will get along fine.

you most certainly can draw any of my ocs. i’d love that acually. tag me

you can redraw, dub or do whatever to my works with credit. i expect credit to include clickable links. also please try to keep the spirit of the original work. don’t add nsfw subtext for example. don’t redraw a ship art as a ship with an inappropriate age gap, and so on.

do not post my art on other platforms. do not repost my art period. I don’t really exist on other platforms since I deleted Twitter. So if you see my stuff on other platforms, it’s not me. 

i’m in my twenties. i keep my blog SFW as a strict rule. PG13 except i swear a lot more. i do not keep myself that way, and i have no aversion to that sort of content, but i keep all of my posts SFW.

in my opinion, all romance real or fictional should be between people who are not related, similar in age, doing age appropriate things, all with mutual consent. i am not interested in witnessing or interacting with anything outside of these parameters.

i am a trans woman. i am also bisexual. i am also poly and demi since im listing things. i am out online becasue i know how important it is to know that you aren’t alone.

if you follow me and you post art, regardless of frequency or perceived quality, i want to be mutuals. shoot me a message or something

do i take constructive criticism? NO 🖕👹🖕 FUCK YOU!!!!!!! GET BLOCKED IDIOT!! unless you are a marginalized person who feels i have unintentionally made you uncomfortable somehow with my art or otherwise. in that case i am sorry and you do me a great favor by calling me out. OTHERWISE FUCK YOU DUMBASS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY ART GO DRAW YOUR OWN 🖕🖕🖕🖕

i don’t have a DNI list, but i am pretty left politically so you can probably imagine what’s on there.

“i hate bronies” i don’t necessarily hate you if you self identify with that label. i like to make myself off-putting to keep creeps away

i don’t hold a lot of nostalgia for old brony stuff. infact it’s quite the opposite

i like all generations of mlp including the new stuff. gen 4 is just the one i grew up with

why is my header aurora, bori and alice from the best gift ever? well that would be because i hate them like a mother hates a child. like the sun hates the moon. like sickly victorian child hates the slightest morsel of bread.

i often draw stuff about cozy glow x flurry heart. this is with the understanding that cozy glow spends about a decade turned to stone. nullifying the age gap.

i am dyslexic. i spell stuff wrong all the time and i type weird. please don’t bother correcting me. wooptydoo your brain is wired normally. sending you a medal.

[scarletspider-lily]

this bullshit discourse around cishet aromantic men is driving me insane and im not aromantic or aspect in the slightest but i gotta rant. because it's just getting very ridiculous at this point, because people make assumptions about everyone and also want to twist the definition of being queer- for some reason?? 1) "well- well they dont get oppressed!! >:(" sorry, pause, why the FUCK are we making "oppression" a part being lgbtq+ ? is this some new fucking requirement?? are you people okay?? i dont give a fuck if some queer child has had the best life ever in a super inclusive area from the second they were born, i would be happy for them?? maybe you should too? listen, ive faced oppression for being bisexual, and have felt envious of those with accepting family and whatnot, but what im not going to do is discredit my fellow queer person for facing "less" or no oppression at all for their identity. crazy take, but i think the goal should be to reduce queer oppression...

and oppression is not... some fixed scale type of thing, someone was trying to say that being asked "when will you get married?" to aro people wasn't oppression. as if that is not the only thing aro people face, as if instituitions like marriage dont exist, with certain economic benefits aro people can't partake in, and social constructs making certain people seem "weird" and straight up ostracized from social groups if they choose not to partake in romance.

2) amatonormativity is a thing, look it up. i get that it may be frustrating if you are allo to accept that youve been taught a lot of stuff about romance that seems magical and all encompassing and you dont want to give it up, but no one is asking you to do that. i used to be taken aback at some things aro folks pointed out, but as ive read more, ive realized that romance is wonderful to some people but shouldnt be held up as the ultimate pedestal in society. so, romanticize romance and whatnot if you personally want to, but understand that certain social constructs may harm people, especially those who do not want relationships for whatever reason. plus, learning about amatonormativity has helped me positively go about my own relationships- platonic and otherwise! 3) im gonna piss people off with this one, but please stop with the bullshitty radfem takes about cishet men being the ultimate spawn of satan, or something. the jokes here and there were one thing, but some of you guys actually believing that most of what cishet men do is inherently evil is legitimately concerning and this doesnt do much to actually help any matters. no, the man choosing to have another hookup this week or continuing to fuck a female friend-with-benefits isnt the ultimate enemy here against women. most takes on "hookup culture" generalize a lot of people's experiences, and i know there is research backing multiple perspectives on this, but at the end of the day what needs to be realized is that you cannot stop two consenting people from doing things together. it has no impact on you, and does not have a grand impact on society. unless you have definitive proof that whatever evil man you're talking about is "using women", there's no point to what you are saying, and if there is such a man, cishet aro men still are legitimate in their identity. would you exclude gay people from the community because of gay people who do bad things? would you do that for most identities? no? what makes this so drastically different, then? dont pull the oppression argument again for the love of god anyways, i hope all the cishet aro men and aro people in general are having a nice day. you will always be a part of the lgbtq+ community. dont let anyone tell you otherwise, or discredit you for the amount of "oppression" you face, as im sure they dont know half of any struggles you have. and if you (or any queer person in general) do happen to have few struggles, im very happy for you, as that's how it should be!!

#rant #i genuinely cannot stand this discourse anymore #discourse critique #queer #aro #aromantic #arophobia #tw arophobia #scarletspider-lily #long post #btw im not aro so if i got smth wrong lmk but ya!

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Ngl I'm kind of dillydallying around my own SDV fixation and i'd KILL to see what your brain is doing to this game like i for one would eat up dat stuff UP . . .

I love the way this is phrased; genuinely 😭💖 like im a force of nature tearing through any new interest like its made of wet tissue paper 💥💥💥

I thought about it some more and i will (eventually) make an sdv blog. Its going to be a mess having all my interests on one dashboard (im lazy and i dont want to sign in and out all the time for diff accounts lol) but i need sdv stuff in sight or ill explode. For now tho i will ramble about random hcs rattling around in my brain

- The valley is FULL of magic, but not alot of Magical Beings that utilize that magic. If the residents of pelican town knew more about magic, there would be alot more wizards than just. The Wizard.

- Everyone in pelican town has some kind of latent magic, or at the very least, an affinity or sensitivity to magic. I like to think that magic builds in very secluded corners of their world and the area including (and surrounding) pelican town is simply one of those places.

-(sorry, i am just obsessed with Places and Magic) I like the idea of your farmer being drawn to pelican town bc they have a bit of magic in them. The letter is just A Letter, but it is the desire to see this town that makes them leave their old life behind. I am obsessed w the idea that the magic in the farmer craves the valley bc it sees the valley as its home, and by extension, the farmer sees the valley as their home. The people of pelican town rarely leave bc the magic in them sees the valley as their home always. The biggest examples of this are Kent, Demetrius, Evelyn, Emily and Shane. The huge exceptions to this (still workin on it) are lewis and sebastian; lewis bc i see him as a normal, non-magical being trying to wrangle the weirdness of this town, and sebastian bc his feelings of isolation and not being understood propels him to crave the world outside of the valley. (That changes a bit if u befriend him/romance him)

-(shane is weird bc hes super depressed and lonely but his happiness comes from his new ‘ragtag family’ (his words) and his very Not Normal chickens. The animals of the valley love him bc he loves them and he becomes tied to the valley bc of it. Marnie has always loved the animals of the valley and some of the love they had for her definitely rubbed off onto shane, who very openly admits he loves the chickens 💙)

-I wasnt very fond of the idea of purple=magic but i think that was bc i often saw it as a way to tie-in the wizard and abigail. I am still trying to get through the friendships for everyone but rn it doesnt feel like theres any connection between them (and caroline). But. I do like the idea of odd, unnatural colors coming through bc of magic. Alex and Pierre having normal brown hair; Haley and Sam being true blondes. BUT. Shane and Jas having purple-ish hair. Emily and Caroline have blue toned hair. Even vincent have pinkish hair 🥺💖 (and dare i say….sebastian with purple/black hair like shane 👀…maybe he has more magic in him than hed like to believe). Abigail doesnt count bc from what ive seen, Caroline laments about her daughters dyed hair. “When she was younger it used to be chestnut brown” which…awww she took after her dad lol.

- LAST THING. This is not an hc i am just mad about this. I cannot believe the game doesnt allow u to befriend Marlon. What the fuck. What the fuck !!! I love him!!! I want to be friends w the chill monster slayer! Im a monster slayer too!!! Let me give him gifts !!! Fuck ! 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥 Also. I know how to write old man yaoi. They shouldve let me do a romance path for willy, clint and marlon. And the wizard i guess but someone already did that. Linus doesnt count bc hes ascended the need for human romance; hes one w nature (read. aroace). And we (linus and willy and the farmer) already co-raise leo so that counts for something i think 🤔

#answered #chattin #sdv #sorry that 80% of this was about the fucking Town #but i am obsessed w Places that Feel #Magic that Feels #wants and craves and breathes with emotion #you come to the valley bc the magic in you misses home #the valley calls for you bc she misses you #not just the magic but the person who has kept this magic safe and warm #the valley knows when to let go. but it also knows when to reach out and bring you back #everyones got little tethers on them. she wonders what everyone is up to #the farmer wants something beyond this desk and she gives a little tug #she hums along the tether to kent and its funny; she doesnt need to pull at all; he comes back as soon as hes able #sebastian wants to see whats out there; find his purpose; and she unravels the tether as much as he needs it to be #anyway hi. welcome to my destroyed whirlwind room of a brain #this doesnt scratch like. the wildlife of the valley. the magic in the farm and crops. the seasons #the moonlight jellies (and how u can see them in fern island sometimes) #lewis and his many many crimes (read. he is wack and i hate him) #the emily/shane friends w benefits agenda i have going on (and harvey/elliot ship that i love so dearly) #and the jodi/kent/caroline polycule u didnt think u needed until i said it just now #i have like. too many thots. its literally consuming brain. i fall asleep thinking of this fucking game #and the version of it that exists in my head rentfree LMAO

[arowitharrows]

hello, i had some maybe broad-but-vague stuff i wanted to ask to someone who knows more about ace stuff since i've been seeing a surge of related content about that topic lately, and i wondered if you might be someone i could ask? i know it's alot, and please ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. im not trying to be hateful or anything, i just feel sort of ignorant about it all. ace stuff, specifically. until now, i always ignored people saying they were ace before, because i didnt get it and i just figured that i didnt need to get it to just mind my own business, but it seems so much more prevalent online now than it used to be, id like to understand. i dont mean to be crude, but in my mind it's like- not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra, though as i type that i actually can see that that might be too flawed and general of an outlook, but that's the best way i can think to phrase my thoughts. so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me? im really not sure if theres more to it that im missing to put it in some different context. i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity. and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. it just seems like such a non-problem to me. and that sounds alot harsher than i mean it to be, but i dont get it. its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra, so all of the controversy is for what? it always came off as making a big deal out of nothing to me. personally, i've never felt any sort of realistic romantic or sexual attraction to another person before in my life, but (other than here) i don't go around talking about that. if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately. so i don't get that the difference is. it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being? or maybe it doesn't feel minuscule? i dont want to come off as belittling, so if theres a better way to refer to all this, please let me know. sorry for the wall of text and like i said, feel free to ignore this. i'm not trying to be an asshole and its not on you to field this sort of question, but i just want to understand. thank you for your time!

Hey anon, It's great of you to reach out and try to learn, or unlearn, some things about asexuality and aromanticism. I'm going to try to break things down a bit (this is not in the order of what you wrote)

not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra. [...] and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. [...] its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra

I'm honestly not sure what you mean by this. I don't believe there is a baseline template for humanity, we are too complex for that. But even if there were a baseline I would set it to what the majority of humanity experiences and I think it's safe to say that a large majority of people experience sexual and romantic attraction to others (the number that usually gets thrown around is 1% of the human population is asexual, but I do not believe this number is still up to date.) If asexuality were the norm then the asexual community would not have this many struggles with medical doctors (here, read this great article that just came out for some context).

That being said - you can view humanity this way if you want, I'm not going to say it's wrong. Just be aware that most people do not see it this way, and that many reactions people have when first learning about asexuality and aromanticism shows how much they view it as something unnatural, abnormal and something to be fixed.

if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately.

Most people I know experience romantic and sexual attraction as a normal part of their life, and they talk about it a lot, which I don't necessarily consider to be oversharing. Relationships and crushes and heartbreak and sex are important topics for many people, to the point where I would claim that a considerable amount of time goes into writing songs and books and movies and other media about it. Most coming-of-age stories involve romance and sex as milestones, most "humanizing the monster" stories involve falling in love as a proof of humanity, most commercials use sex-appeal to make people buy shit. All of this is integrated into everyday life, so all of this can make aspec people feel alienated and othered, even before they find the aro/ace labels.

When I was a teenager people wouldn't stop talking about sex, it was a way to measure your worth, so I felt.. worth less than my peers. Now I'm an adult and the older I get the more being single and unmarried is seen as a personal failure.

All this is to say that in my experience sexual and romantic attraction are not quiet aspects of society. And, for the record, I don't talk about my orientation much with people outside of my close family, even when it makes things awfully awkward because my disinterests does not go unnoticed, and is very much seen as an oddity.

so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me. [...] it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being?

Why do you think any identity label exists? They are there to help us understand ourselves, to help us explain ourselves to others and to help us find others with similar experiences so we can feel less isolated. We live in a heteronormative society where everyone is assumed to perform sex and romance in a very strict and narrowly defined manner. People that fall out of that norm tend to struggle on many different, complex levels. Asexual and aromantic people are not exempt from these struggles. For some being ace and aro does not have a large impact on their lives and that's fine, for others it does have a large impact - that's what the community is for, and that's what the labels are for. For me personally, being aroace impacts a lot of my life. It influences my politics, my living situation, how I approach friendships, my decisions for my future.. it is not something trivial.

i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity.

No, I do not believe that is the origin of the asexual and aromantic identity. It is certainly a source of aphobia and a much needed point of conversation, but asexuality and aromanticism would continue to exist in a society in which this were not a problem, the same way homosexuality will continue to exist when the world is no longer homophobic, and heterosexuality exists right now in a world that is not "heterophobic". I also want to gently add here that the belief that asexuality is a "reactionary" identity due to an oversexualized society is one I've almost exclusively seen in radical feminism circles, just something to keep in mind when following such train of thought.

Everyone is free to decide the degree to which experiencing little to no sexual/romantic attraction impacts their life and if they want to view it as something important or not. But to generalize and say that it doesn't matter on a societal scale rings false. I highly recommend just listening to more aromantic and asexual people's experiences in society to get a feeling of how it impacts our lives.

#anon #long post #ask #mai rambles

[ratbutmakeitfyodor]

I know how many of byler shippers are annoyed that will's crush and basicaly every conversation he had with mike (where he was kinda lying because he was talking abt himself) made mike and el got back together. Look i get it im annoyed too. But its not bc i think that will having crush on mike is a bad scenario choise or the way they made him handle the situation is bad. No i think that wills character is one of the best of them all. S4 made me fall in love with him.

Steves crush on nancy is forced and unrealistic as well as nancys idk supposed feelings for him? Guys its the biggest bullshit ive ever seen. Nancys and johnatans fight is also very random created only to give some place for stancy. Im sorry but i didnt care much about jopper this season this ship was kinda cute in s1 and s2 (a little) but later on it was just jeah they'll end up together at some point and i dont care its ok. I also dislike hopper a bit - his anger outbrusts are too much for me despite his huge heart and stuff. Dustin and susie - i dont care. Dustin is amazing suzie is a boring character used only whan theyre having trouble. Max and lucas - they are nice s4 made me like max more and this scene in hounted house was awesome and cute. But they are lacking the tension bc we know somewhere in back of our heads that they'll end up together and drama is needed to build up both of their characters and it works (not like this s3 painfull drama to teach mike a lesson about beeing posesive - i didint learn much abt max and lucas then)

I think that finally will's character is treated seriously in s4. In s1 and s2 he was just in danger and everyone tried to save him. In s3 he had some place to be annoyed and sad but again all of his problems vanished as soon as they found out about mind flayer. In s4 noah shnapp is doing AMAZING job making will constantly on werge of crying (and it somehow isnt too much which dropped my mouth on the floor. Dont underestimate that! Usually characters that cry everytime theyre having a convo with anyone are annoying and you just wish they shut up but not will)

If we look at all those small details and clues the show kept giving us about wills sexuality (like people bulling him and laughing at him in s1 calling him homophobic slurs, him looking at mike before dancing with a girl on a snow ball in s2, mike saying is not his fault that will doesnt like girls in s3, that weird ass feet flirt? (gross) and wills presentation about alan truing in s4 for example) it gives us a good amount of reasons that it isnt just a part of his character like it was with robin in s3. The coming out scene wasnt like a confirmation of some obvious clues or shit. Her character wasnt about beeing gay it was about beeing a person and beeing gay. Which is huge difference. As a fan of casual representation i was very satified with steves and robins thread in s3 because i already loved them before the coming out scene (and its also a reason why im disapointed with it in s4 because they threw away the importance of their friendship and focused on romance instead which has been done wery poorly) But will also isnt just gay. He's a very confused child focusing on figuring out who he is. Its more like a heartstopper kind of storyline but he has no one to talk about it no one to support him like openly without just guessing what he is going throught. He doesnt have 'am i gay quiz' or any kind of people like him he can talk to. Instead he has a crush on an absolute asshole (I will get to that soon) and mindset of puting others before him. So it shouldnt be a surprise that he does everything he can to support and help mike. And look at him HE CRIES ALMOST EVERY TIME the emotions inside are taking him over. The problem isnt the plot isnt the crush isnt will's character its mike

What in the fucks sake happend to him over the seasons? In s1 and 2 i belived that he is nice he is caring that he is a heart of a group. He was a GOOD FRIEND. But now show has to desperately remind us about all this stuff because he himself isnt. Since s3 he is just revolving around el. All the time no place for anyone else there. Well maybe they are buliding up like a sudden realisation scene where mike will realise what this relationship was doing with him or something. But guess what HE WON'T why? BECAUSE HE IS UNABLE TO FIGURE OUT HIS FLAWS HIMSELF or read basic signals from his friends that he's hurting them. So maybe in s5 someone (probably Will) will have to put some sences into that oblivious mind of his (i hope will will be yellig) and honestly that is the only rational reason i can see for watering down his character this much (rational where its not just a poor writing) i hope it will happen i would enjoy it i would forgive using wills feelings for ending mikes and els fight. But if nothing like this happens mileven is doing perfectly 'fine' as always will is coming out but it has no impact on anything than im throwing that show away other threads arent enough to make me invest in it as much as this one is (im not saying that i need byler to come true what i need is a logical explanation on why mike is such an asshole and REAL character development this time) Every time show is fucusing on mikes flaws (its always just one flaw - like mike beeing possesive or not caring about will at all) other characters confront him making him realise what he was doing wrong he apologises and everything is fine again exept its not. Because he fixes this one single flaw they were taking about every other out there is left untouched. He doesnt grow as a person (one good thing about him - he doesnt make same mistake twice) actually hes beeing even a bigger asshole. So theres no surprise for me that all he takes from wills advices are ways to make up with el bc thats all he is focusing on. He doesnt look at bigger picture of situation - at wills emotions at ways his voice sounds like at reasons why he took that painting for that trip or why he painted him in that contects in the first place.

I dont know what elese to write to clarify my point (i hope its somehow understandable) I am a huge byler shipper but as i said it doesnt even have to be canon for me because if it was with mike left the way he is it could be even more painfull for will. What im really hoping for in s5 is explainging mikes horrible begaviour and fixing it for real this time (this scenario in case they made him this bad on pourpose) or fixing his character generaly (in case it was accidental) and a satisfing wills coming out scene. I cant specify exactly what im expecting but im counting it will be as good as robins

#stranger things #stranger tgings s4 #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #rats trash talks

[thatsquitepoggers]

Fic Request Rules

Ok so, lets set some ground rules, shall we?

I will do stuff for any dsmp fanfiction or au.

I've seen / read, TommyInnits Clinic For Super Villans, Passerine, TommyInnits Unbeatable Method For Avoiding Sudden Death, Shrike (Passerine prolouge bassically), Accelerate, and im going to read Butterfly Reigon.

If you have one i havnt read or seen, just reccomend it to me and i'll look into it!

Im sorry but, nothing with Wilbur or George. It sucks to say it, but yeah. Sorry :[

IF TOMMMY OR ANYBODY ELSE IS UNDERAGE IN THE FIC, I WONT WRITE SMUT FOR THAT CHARICTER!!!!

Only platonic stuff with Philza. Idk it just feels weird writing romance or smut for him. Im pretty sure nobody simps for him, and just sees him as a dad, not a daddy.

Stuff i WONT write

Piss or shit kink

Incest

Underag

Rape

Qsmp (Sorry, i just dont know much abt it)

Anything else thats fucked up (tell me if i missed somthing)

Stuff (or people) i WILL write:

Any other kink than the ones listed above

TommyInnits Clinic For Super Villians

TommyInnits Unbeatable Method For Avoiding Sudden Death

Accelerate

Passerine

Shrike

Anybody than the people listed above

Drabbles

Oneshots

Scenarios

Full Fics (Maybe)

Smut

angst

fluff

Just ask if your not sure about an idea!

George and Wilbur

dsmp / C's

Please specify:

If you want hc's, drabble, or anything like that

Gender of reader

The virson / au of the charicter

Genere (Smut, angst, or fluff.)

a small summery of what you want (duh)

#blog rules #guidelines #i don’t make the rules #ask me anything #send asks #blog intro #intro post #introduction post #dsmp au #dsmp fanfic #dsmp x reader #dsmp #dsmp smut

[zombabiee]

I am curious but im so 50/50 on him because of what will happen in the future. If he asks me out I want to say yes but do I wanna say yes because I’m curious or do I want spite him in thinking I would say no? I wonder if they’ve spoken about me. Its still so weird for me to understand that im being seen for what feels like the first time ever. Ive been so social this year and I just want to delete my media because im so embarrassed being alive and real and having feelings. Will I subconsciously fool myself in thinking I could make him jealous. his homeboy seems nice and im just overthinking like crazy. im honestly such an idiot and want a distraction but i just wish it could have been any other person than his homeboy to be interested in me. why me? he probably doesn’t like me all that much anyway so I shouldn’t even be too worried about that but what it he does or later decides to do so? I was so used to him not wanting to speak to me at all but we’d text often, i was only there when he wanted it. So it further made me think that I could be cared less about in that way, i was nothing more than just pity. right? And I found myself liking him and being attached to that even knowing all this info. And now his main homie seems interested in me it just takes me aback because I feel like im not seen at all or im just something to be judged at or looked at in only one type of way. Im scared to say yes because ive never experienced any romances ever and that whole ordeal just made me feel so iffy about relationships and all that stuff because im so innocent and inexperienced. Ik im not completely stupid because even then the people who have experienced doesn’t make them experts/wise(idk what word imtrying to use for this but I get what I mean and I hope u do too) but its the fact they’ve gone through stuff is what makes me envious, whether it be good or bad, because in my eyes i see that as growth. I feel like I haven’t gone through anything major up until this year?? and I just feel like its never going to be enough and I will never be enough. Im so scared and not ready and its just much easier to feel sorry for yourself and hate yourself because of how many years ive been doing it that its only gone worse. Despite it all I like having a sense of humor about it because its like “ur so pathetic lol”………… its funny too because I’ll just rant and rant in my notes app and the min I stop the feelings just go away and im back to doing my same routine for that last 6 weeks……. I hope he doesn’t go through with it I rlly rather him not tell me anything but I just don’t want to say no to him. He been loosing weight too and im certain im one of his motivations and that would just be so crushing to be told no. (i mean it would take him on a revenge journey just like him but I really dont want that) tbh him loosing the weight has inspired me too because how quickly hes doing it and it makes me want to be competitive in a way. Idk if its me feeling bitter because hes doing it so healthy and ive been choosing self destructive options but hey atleast im hearing and seeing (just on the scale tbh) results. (I love to see it physically :( but i just cant) i just wish it wasnt him tbh. and Im not saying I wish it was the guy I originally liked but i want the attention of somebody who wasn’t connected to highschool or him. Something completely new because i just think it would make it less weird for me and I honestly shouldn’t have to be overthinking this much right? i wish the normie guy could have picked me he would of solved all my problems, as shitty as it sounds but i would of love molding him to my liking and changing him for the better, he for sure would of dropped me but ig its for the better because I never stood a chance compared to all those other girls in his following. why cant the people i want want me? im so fucking naive jfc

#rant 1 #rant #3 am thoughts #overthinking

[brutal-nemesis]

E&T: A Night We Won’t Forget (Part 2)

I am a cat and your emotions are a ball of yarn (●'◡'●)💕 

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Ingredients: a little possessive/noncon touching (unsexy)

After that song ended, Erebus shooed Neteri off to go talk to Alina, and it was only until he found himself entirely alone that he realized that might not have been the best idea. Normally at parties, people were walking up to talk to him all the time, but here...no one even spared him a second glance. Well, he was rather hungry, and he should probably give those flatbreads Neteri suggested a try, since it’s not like they could taste bad. He wandered over to one of the food tables, scanning it for-there, that had to be them. He reached for one-

“Don’t eat that.”

“What?” Erebus looked up to see a girl about his age standing next to him, arms crossed as her green eyes bored into his.

“They’re terrible.” 

“But...I was told to eat them by my-my-uh...my sister. She said I had to eat at least five of them or I can’t say I had a good time.” He didn’t really know why sister was the first thing that came to mind, but he supposed the way Neteri doted on him was sort of sisterly, at least as far as he could guess as an only child. 

The girl raised an eyebrow. “Well she’s playing a mean trick on you, then.”

“I guess she would-well...” he could see Neteri doing that to mess with him, but they were both well aware that his tongue made anything taste good, so there wasn’t much point in trying to play a prank like that on him. He reached out and grabbed one. “I’ll take my chances. I trust her.”

“Your funeral,” she huffed, twirling a lock of her long, black hair around her finger as he took a bite. 

Despite her warning, he found it delicious, the perfect balance of spicy and sweet, and he could tell that wasn’t just because of his tongue. “This is fantastic,” he proclaimed after he swallowed. “You really don’t like it?” 

She glanced around furtively before leaning in slightly, her voice dropping in volume. “I don’t like them; I love them. Enough that I wanted all of them to myself. But you had to go and ruin that, mister…” she waved a hand expectantly.

“Uh...Erebus.”

“Mister Erebus. So now you’re in on this with me whether you like it or not. Do not tell anyone how good these are or they might end up all getting eaten and then we will both be sad all night. You feel me?”

“I get it, I get it, I wasn’t planning on telling anyone about them, anyway, since I don’t really...know anyone.”

“Of course you don’t.” He felt a bolt of fear shoot through him, did she know he was- “Nobody does at these sorts of things.” She fell silent for a moment as his anxiety subsided. “Shiori.”

“Huh?”

She sighed. “I’m Shiori. There, you know someone else now.”

“Oh. Um, it’s nice to meet you, Shiori.”

Just then, the music changed, the beat sounding a little faster. Shiori’s face broke out into a smile. “Oh yes, this is a fun song.”  Before Erebus knew what was happening, she’d grabbed his hand, pulling him slightly. “Come on, dance with me for this one.”

“Uh-alright.” He followed her to the dance floor, face flushing. Why was he even getting all nervous, he’d danced with plenty of girls in his time, and honestly there was less pressure this time since not as many people were paying attention to him, but something about her asking him to dance made his heart beat faster than it had any right to. He was able to calm himself once they started dancing, concentrating on the motions as much as he could. Shiori was quite a good dancer, a better match for him than Neteri since she wasn’t so ridiculously short. 

“So where are you from, Erebus?” Shiori asked after the song changed to a slower one.

He hesitated a second, but he decided to just tell the truth, though not all of it, in favor of getting caught in a lie. “I-I’m from Nathar. In Berké.”

“Oh, weren’t you recently conquered by Xerna? Is that why you’re here now?”

“Yes.” He fought to keep his voice calm, his expression neutral. “What about you?”

“Urtam! My fathers are merchants, though, so I’ve been all over.” Erebus nodded; they’d done trade with that small, coastal kingdom to the south.

“How cold does it get down there? Have you ever, uh, seen snow?” Part of him wanted to steer the conversation away from his life, and part of him really was curious. 

“Of course I have! It gets cold enough to snow most winters, but nothing you can’t handle, you know? Why, does it not snow in Berké?”

He shook his head. “Nope. I’ve never seen it before. I’ve always wanted to, though.”

“Huh. I usually find it annoying, myself, but I guess it is really pretty. Even once you get tired of it, you can’t help but love the sight of it blanketing everything in white.” She fell silent for a moment. “I don’t think I dislike it as much as I thought I did.”

Erebus laughed a bit. “Worth seeing, then?”

“For sure! I’ll make sure to throw some in your face if I’m with you so you can have the full experience.” She laughed at his confused face. “What, can’t handle a snowball fight?”

“Snowball fight?”

“Wow, you really are clueless. Okay, you pick up snow, make it into a ball, and then you just throw it at each other. It’s the great test of champions.” She smiled proudly. “I’ve got an impeccable record myself; I bet I’d make short work of a newbie like you.”

“I, uh, bet you could.” Oddly, he wasn’t too put-off by the possibility...At that, the song ended, and it was just then that Erebus realized how close they were standing. He felt himself turning red again-or maybe he’d been red the whole time and he was just getting redder-but soon enough she stepped back, though she didn’t let go of his hand.

“Come on, let’s get some more to eat. I didn’t get enough earlier.” After filling plates with a variety of food, including at least four of the little flatbreads each, they made their way out onto the patio. The sun had already set behind the wall of the cliff at the back of the palace, but the area was still bright, glowing lightstones set with smaller air minerals floating around up above. People milled about, but it was certainly less crowded here than it was inside. They managed to find a small, empty table and sat down to eat. Erebus tried to focus on his food, but he got caught up wondering what was prettier, the pink and gold streaks of clouds above them, or the girl sitting across from him. He...he could say that, but he didn’t know how to put it, or if it would come out right, he’d probably just embarrass himself. He’d never really tried to hit on a girl before, especially not one he didn’t know well-

“The Midnight Sun always looks so odd during twilight,” Shiori said, looking up at the cliff towering over them.

“Odd how?” Erebus had only seen it during the daytime before, when it was just some crystals set in a rock face, but now that it was starting to get dark out, it was beginning to glow, a sight he found quite captivating.

“Well, during the day, it’s a bunch of dark rocks in a wavy cliff, and at night, it’s a big shining...sun thing. But during twilight and dawn, it just looks...wrong? I don’t know...the fact that it’s glowing so faintly just seems off for some reason. Be bright or be nothing.”

“I guess that makes sense...I’ve never seen it at night, though, so I don’t know if I can judge.”

“You’ve never seen it at night?!” Shiori nearly jumped out of her seat. “So you’ve never even been here before tonight, huh?”

“Well, I...I’ve been to the city once before, but only during the day. So I’ve actually really been looking forward to being out here at night.”

“Well, in that case, let’s stay out here until it gets dark! I mean you can see it through the glass ceiling inside, but I feel like you need to be out here for the full effect.”

“Are you sure you’re alright with that? I-I don’t want to take you away from the party or the people you came here with or anything-”

She waved a hand. “Nah, I just came with my parents, and they’re off doing their own thing. Besides, I’m having fun with you!” She smiled warmly at him before glancing at the party inside. “I love just getting to know random people at these things, even if I end up never seeing them again. Because even if we’ll both forget tonight someday, it’s still fun right now, you know?”

“Yeah. I’m having a good time with you, too. So much that I...I don’t think I’ll ever forget tonight.” Erebus laughed a little as he smiled back at her, though inside he was grappling with the fact that he really would never see her again, that she would forget this night someday, that she would forget him. But it made sense, he thought, that she wouldn’t remember him over anyone else. There wasn’t really anything that made him special to her, he was just the guy she met because he ate the food she was trying to keep to herself, but part of him wanted so badly for someone to remember him like this, someone whose memory wasn’t tainted with the image of him chained to a post and screaming.

“You’re sweet.” She took one last bite of her food and stood, holding out her hand. “Come on, let’s go for a walk or something! I’ve heard this place has some cool gardens.”

“It does!” She raised an eyebrow as he took her hand and stood. “I-I saw when I visited here before. During the day.”

“Why were you in the palace?” 

“I...it’s a long story.” Thankfully, Shiori didn’t push it. They followed a path marked by the floating lightstones to one of the gardens, which ended up being the one with a large fountain (a word Erebus had learned since his trip into the city) that was full of Mydnar’s tears, brilliant blue flowers that floated on the water’s surface. Ordinarily, the fountain sprayed water straight up, but tonight, the stream split into eight and arced through the air, bouncing off of lightstones floating above the pool before raining down. Despite how beautiful it was, there weren’t too many other people here.

“Wow,” Shiori breathed, wonder glittering in her eyes. 

“Yeah.” Erebus found himself nearly speechless at the sight, and right then he was so incredibly grateful to be here, in this moment, with Shiori. He did his best to burn every detail of it into his mind, the way the water sparkled as it splashed, each delicate flower petal, the brilliance of the fading colors of sunset, Shiori’s beautiful smile, the shine of her long, dark hair, the feeling of her fingers against the back of his hand. He had to remember this, hold every little detail in his heart for forever, because the rest of forever was going to cold and empty and lonely and painful and this was maybe the last time that he’d-

“Are you alright, Erebus? You seem...sad.” Shiori looked up at him with concern as she gave his hand a squeeze.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m alright I was just thinking about...It doesn’t matter, I-” he shook his head, stepping in front of her and holding out his other hand. “Will you dance with me?”

“Of course!” She placed his hand on her hip before laying hers on his shoulder. “Although...it’s kind of hard to hear the music from here, so I’m not exactly sure what dance we should do.”

“We could just sort of...dance slow?” Erebus offered, not really wanting to go back to the party quite yet. He knew they’d have to eventually, that he’d have to return to Neteri and his cell and the table, but for now he just wanted to pretend that they’d stay here forever, that there was nothing outside of this moment. That sentiment only strengthened as Shiori nodded and held him close as they started to sway gently.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, and part of him didn’t care. The only time he looked away from her for more than a moment was when the sun finally set, causing the Midnight Sun set in the cliff to flash brilliantly, showering them in bright crystalline light for a second before it settled to a warm, steady glow. It really was gorgeous, but the sight of that symbol alight...his chest throbbed slightly, and he turned away, doing his best to ignore it, focusing on Shiori’s warm hand in his, not cold cuffs encircling his wrists, on the sound of splashing water and quiet music, not the murmurings of a crowd, on her eyes looking at him with kindness, not with pity, of Xerna’s sun made of crystal, not metal.

They danced and laughed and walked around the garden and talked about little nothings, and he was able to forget everything but the present for once, holding onto every moment so tightly that his memories and anxieties for the future melted away, letting himself believe he was really just a regular person having a nice night, undeniably human without a care in the world. He’d go back to his home, sleep in a real bed, and when he woke up he could do as he pleased, he could see Shiori again tomorrow, and the day after, and-

“It’s getting kind of late, so we should probably head back, shouldn’t we?” Shiori’s question snapped him back to reality, and all the circumstances surrounding it. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been having a good time, but I don’t want my dads to think I went missing or something.”

“No, that makes sense; I should probably see what’s up with-with my sister, anyway. I don’t think she wanted to stay super long.” He’d known they were going to have to leave eventually, but it still killed him inside that this was over now, that he really couldn’t stay here forever. He tried to savor the last few moments of holding her hand as they walked back, hoping she didn’t feel him shaking slightly.

Once they were back inside, Erebus scanned the crowd for Neteri, which was a little difficult given how small she was, but at least he was relatively tall compared to most of the people here, so it evened out. Eventually, he spotted her just as she was saying goodbye to Alina. Once the other woman left, he waved to Neteri as her eyes wandered in his direction. Once she saw him, she smiled broadly and beckoned him over. He held up a finger and turned back to Shiori. “I see my sister so I’m going to go check in with her really quickly. I’ll be right back, just-”

“Aw, is that her? She’s so cute and tiny!” She looked back and forth between them. “You guys don’t look too much alike, huh?”

“We’re, uh, we get that a lot.”

“Well, regardless, I’d love to meet her! So let’s both-”

“N-no, that’s, um, she’s...she’s really awkward. Like really awkward and I don’t want her to say anything weird or try to embarrass me because she likes doing that so I’m just going to go talk to her really quickly and I’ll meet you right back here okay bye.” Erebus slipped away as soon as he was done talking, hoping Shiori wouldn’t follow. He knew Neteri would ruin things somehow if she talked to her, either by getting mad at her for touching her...her property without permission or unknowingly saying something that contradicted the story about himself that he’d told Shiori.

“There you are, Erebus! I was starting to get worried.” Neteri rubbed his arm, and he could somehow tell she wanted to touch him more possessively, but was restraining herself. “Why didn’t you bring your little girlfriend?” She smiled deviously, cocking her head.

“She’s not my-I didn’t want her to-”

“Aww, afraid I might steal her away?” She laughed at Erebus’s bewildered expression. “I’m just teasing, I get why you wouldn’t want her to meet me. Don’t go getting any ideas, though.” She reached up and cupped his cheek, stroking it with her thumb, and in that moment Erebus was very glad he’d said she was his sister. A gesture like that between anything but family or...or lovers...it would be weird. Still, he gently swatted her away after a moment, and she didn’t persist like usual. “Have you been having a good night?”

He smiled and nodded firmly. “I have, and not just because of those flatbreads, it’s been really…” His face fell. “It’s time to go, though, isn’t it?”

She smiled sadly. “Yeah, it is. But you can go say goodbye to her first. I’m not in a huge rush.”

“Thanks.” Erebus started to walk away, but he stopped and glanced back over his shoulder. “Did you have a good night, Neteri?”

“I did!” She blushed fiercely. “Alina and I, uh…” She clasped her hands in front of her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh, I’ll tell you later.” Erebus smiled and shook his head before returning to Shiori, who had busied herself with a small plate of cream puffs. He took a deep breath as he got close, trying not to think about what saying goodbye to her meant. 

“What’s up, Erebus?” Shiori innocently looked up at him, holding out her plate. “Do you want one?”

“I-uh, sure, thanks.” It was so light and delicious and sweet, and he probably wouldn’t have something like this for a while-no, no, don’t think about it, don’t cry-

Shiori giggled. “You got cream on your nose, here.” She gently wiped it off with a handkerchief, and Erebus’s face burned red once again.

“Thanks. But, Shiori, I…” he cleared his throat, “I have to go now. Thank you for making this such an amazing night I had a lot of fun with you and I think you’re really pretty and I’m really glad I got to meet you.” He blurted it out with an embarrassing lack of eloquence, but he was too nervous and sad to do any better. Shiori didn’t seem to mind, looking up at him with a warm smile.

“I’m glad we met too, Erebus! You made this a night to remember; I had such a good time! In fact, I...” She set the plate down, turning back to him with a hopeful smile. “When can I see you again?”

Erebus froze, panic starting to worm its way into his mind. W-what was he supposed to say he wanted nothing more than to see her again but he-he-he was- “I-I would really love to meet up with you again, Shiori, I really would, but I...I can’t and I can’t explain why-it’s complicated and there’s nothing I can do.” He blinked away the tears that were rapidly forming in his eyes, fists clenching. 

Her face fell into a look of dejected confusion. “O-oh. Well, if you, uh, change your mind or whatever...how about you meet me by the fountain in the central square in three days’ time?” 

“I-okay.” His heart broke as he said it, at the thought of her waiting for him, her wanting to wait for him, scanning the crowd, her hopefulness dwindling away with the hours, but what was he supposed to say, that he didn’t want to see her again, that he didn’t like being with her, that she hadn’t made him feel normal and shamelessly happy for the first time in months, that he really wouldn’t mind just- “I won’t forget you, Shiori.” He stuck out his hand, trying to keep it steady. “And thank you again for a wonderful night.”

She took it tenderly, far more tenderly than she had any right to, and brought it up slightly. “And I won’t forget you, Erebus.” And then she leaned down, and for the briefest moment her lips were against his knuckle, and then she was gone, just like that, vanished, and he knew he would never see her again, that every fantasy he’d dreamt up over the past few hours would never come true, and maybe some part of him vanished with her, and there was another hand in his now, one that stroked him lovingly only a little more often than it held the blade that sliced his skin.

“Are you ready to go now, Erebus?”

“Y-yeah.” No no I’m not wait just another second-He curled his fingers around hers-please I don’t want this part of my life to be over I don’t want to say goodbye not yet not yet-and took one last look at the quieting party-please just one more moment I promise I’ll savor it just let me stay for a little longer-at all the smiling faces and glittering gold-I don’t want to let go I can’t I can’t why do I have to go please please let me stay here forever-the last few people on the dance floor wrapped in each other’s arms-why can’t I stay-as the rest trickled out-why does it have to end-

And then he turned around and followed Neteri, leaving the party behind. Leaving Shiori behind. Leaving his old life behind. Leaving Prince Erebus Arctas Fradier behind.

Now he was just Erebus, and he was just Neteri’s, and he’d never be anything more.

Extra -  Next→

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#i wrote something #erebus & terror #erebus #neteri #noncon touching #honestly at this point idk if its more like dubcon touching since erebus is starting to really like it when neteri touches him #its like his guilty pleasure. esp when she pets his head #yes i wrote this with the full intention of fucking destroying you. did it work #look at that erebus smiled at his reflection!!! everything in it is fake <3 #this entire thing was inspired by some picrew livi rbed where you could make two people dancing #so ofc i made erebus and neteri dancing and i was like 👁 o shit #and then it devolved into this long giant mess of bittersweetness #we get the rare holofoil neteri without her lab coat 😳 #now that she knows the eye color illusion spell she might use it on herself for fun #and FUCK we finally got to him asking her if they'd be friends if things were different (┬┬﹏┬┬) #and hey erebus gets to actually say goodbye to his old life cuz he never really had the chance to before #meet cute: she tries to trick you into not eating the good food so she can have more for herself #sorry if any of the romance stuff is weird i dont know what the fuck im doing!!! aromantic bitch hours #i simply stole all the vibes of aoi shiori and nirvana. mostly nirvana. thank you tia #but yes shiori is named that because i already associated the song with this whole thing and so when i named her it was the obvious choice #also i say that like i didnt write this while basically only listening to soundtracks produced by monaca #if you have seen me listening to banquet of death by crushing and confronting god in the forest on repeat: no you didn't <3

[shoftiiel]

bound to you: 13

"why didn't you tell me?"

synopsis: y/n is the new girl in town, she would like to escape from her past and begin a new life without any romance drama, but what happens when she caught the attention of a certain boy who happens to be one of her brother’s best friends.

word count: 1.1 k

warnings: some cusing, kind of angsty

a/n: sorry if there are any mistakes, so this is my fisrt time trying to write angst so it migth be kind of idk weird¿¿¿

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Why was Jake being so upset about it? I did nothing wrong, or did i? Maybe I should have told him? Those thoughts had been stuck in your head all day, but everytime someone looked at you, your expression changed quickly, you couldn't allow yourself to let anyone see you were not okay. You have been doing this your whole life, it was tiring to be honest, but you did not want to burden anyone with your problems. The bell rang indicating that the last class was over, as you walked in the hall someone approached you.

“hey y/n” it was heeseung, “just checking, we are meeting today right?”

“yes” he was probably checking because you canceled yesterday, cute you thought “i'm just going to my dorm to take a quick shower and grab my notes on the project”

“okay, see you in a bit” heeseung said as he waved at you, you couldn't put your finger on it but there was something with heeseung, you have never had a conversation that was not related to school and yet he treated you as if he had known you for years, it's probably because he is friends with jake you thought was you headed back to your dorm.

your phone had been buzzing like crazy all day, it was jake. To be honest you did not want to talk to him, he was being overprotective, usually it didn't bother you but this time he had gone a little too far. This was the first time you and Jake had a big fight, of course you did fight a lot but it was over small things like hat program to watch or if you had stolen his clothes, eventually he came around and gave you what you wanted, he hated not talking to you, but this time was different, obviously there was something else behind and you ghoting him definitely did not help, not at all.

You took a quick shower, put on some makeup so that it wasn't obvious that you had been crying, grabbed your notes, put on your headphones and began walking to where you were supposed to meet heeseung. Too focused on the lyrics of the songs that were sounding in your ears you freaked out when someone grabbed your arm, you looked up and saw Jake, he said something to you that you definitely did not hear because your music was too loud.

“what?” You said you removed your headphones.

“Will you stop ignoring me?” he looked annoyed, which only made you angrier “it is childish” he scoffed.

“I will stop ignoring you when you apologize to me” you looked away , you were not seeing his face but you could clearly feel that he was offended.

“y/n why are you acting like this?” he raised his tone, he had never talked to you like this before, honestly you felt like crying, “why does it bother you so much? i don't understand, you did stuff like this all the time”

“Why didn't you tell me?” he was yelling “What if something happened? ” At this point he was just repeating what he had said yesterday.

“Well nothing happened right?” you couldn’t stop yourself from crying anymore “Jake for the first time in my life i have friends, so sorry if it bothers you, but it's my life and you cant tell me how to fucking live it”

“what do you mean for the first time, back home you never said anything like this”

“maybe because back home I just followed like some lost puppy all the time, I have never had friends of my own and then you left me!” with tears running down your face you looked at him, it broke his soul to see you like this, yet he did not say a word “I was lonely for two whole years Jake, did you know that people only approached me to get close to you! when you left i was completely alone,I had no one”

“y/n… why didn't you tell me?” he reached to you to grab your arm but you flinched at his touch “you never asked did you?” he just stood silent, for what felt like five whole minutes Jake said nothing, he felt like the worst person ever, he was supposed to take care of you, you were his little sister, he had been selfish all those years, it was true, whenever you started talking to someone he scared them away, from his perspective he was protecting you, it had gone to the point were you just stopped trying to make new friends. What bothered him so much was that he thought that you were cutting him out of your world. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but no words left from his lip when he opened his mouth.

you just scoffed “I have somewhere to be” saying that you just left, you were still crying as you walked to the café where you would meet heeseung.

You did not notice that someone had heard the argument you had from afar. Heesegung did not do it on purpose, he was a respectful boy, but to be fair you two had been yelling at each other in the middle of the only way to get to the café, he waited until jake left too, he did not wanted to seem like he was eavesdropping.

When he was close to te café he saw you through the window, you were still crying, he felt like he should do something to comfort you, but he was surprised, as you saw him enter the café your tears stopped, it was as if nothing had happened, you greeted him with your sweet smile, he couldn't process what had just happened, one minute ago you were crying rivers but now you looked as fresh as a flower that had just bloomed. How is that even possible? he thought to himself. He abstained from saying anything because he did not want to make you uncomfortable.

“heeseung over here” he headed to the table. You two stared working on the project and finished it rather fast. “wow y/n! i didn’t think that we would finish this today” he was very surprised. “and look at the time!” he grabbed his phone “I still have an hour left before practice starts”

“Well, what can I say, we make a great team” he giggled at your response “would you like to go to the park?” his question took you by surprise, as you stare at him with you eyes wide open he said “I have some time to spare and I dont think its nice if we stay here, someone might want to use the-the table”

“you have a point” you said laughing at how nervous he sounded when he said that “let's go” you both grabbed your stuff and walked out of the café.

tag list: @ncityy04 @dumbwonpil @markleepooh @papiibuprofen @ghjasksdk @kac-chowsballs @youreverydayzebra @clanggyyy @niafics @witheeseung

#bound to you 🧚🏼‍♀️ #heeseung #enhypen smau #enhypen social media au #kpop smau #enhypen au #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x reader #heeseung x you #enhypen fic #heeseung x reader #enhypen high school au #non idol au #enhypen fluff #enhypen crack #enhypen angst #lee heeseung #yang jungwon #jay park #sim jake #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #nishimura riki #enhypen siblings au #enha smau #enha au #heeseung au #enhypen heeseung

[vynsvision]

Detective Darius Morgan Headcanons

Listen. I know there's hardly any content of him. I dont know how much this will be appreciated. But if the same for 4 people who saw my post asking if anyone wanted this see it, I win.

Be warned, its 2k words (just under, probably) because I have nothing to do at work. At all. *deepest of sighs*

Should be SFW!!! Some things are referenced but im not in the mood to talk about too much Naughtiness so its SFW.

If the flow is weird, my apologies. I tried to group stuff together and so I may have gone back to sections where the next section goes off something I said in part of the section above... you'll understand as you read.

I'm gonna start with casual, out of work attire. I genuinely don't think you would find him in loungewear EVER outside his home. So no sweatpants.... although maybe a sweatshirt on laundry day. I'm also thinking, even though he probably doesn't get a fat paycheque, he tries to dress well. He doesn't think about fashion but good lord, Marius wouldn't believe it. "I just buy what looks nice." in the once in three blue moons that he actually goes to get new clothes. He works every day, probably, so anything that's not work is casual and probably very worn.

I think, yanno those like school varsity football jackets? Um yeah he still wears his. Its not because he tries to show off, but those things are comfortable, warm, and if he happens to be with someone who forgets to bring a warm layer, he can give it to them and he secretly loves watching their expressions.

("Oh... my god this is so warm!" "Mhmm." "I'm keeping this forever. Sorry, its mine now." "Is your last name Morgan too, then? Huh, I didn't know." Motherfucker.)

P.s: he hates suits even if his work uniform is basically a suit without the suit jacket. If he has to wear a suit, its all black. That is all. Also yes he would wear the three-piece suit. Go all out or nothing. Maybe a dark blue vest for some flavor with a matching tie.... idk. Brainrot of Darius in an all black three-piece suit........... suspenders......... aaah... yep.

Ok speaking of. I really don't think he's super chatty. He's tired. I'm honestly thinking very Eddie Brock (Venom) vibes with him tbfh. But I think when he does talk, he's slick as FUCK. He probably likes to see you blush as your scramble for a response. Hes smooth tho. He doesnt let you scramble for long. Also would ruffle your hair (if you have some and didn't stop him). He chuckles a lot. I imagine his voice as deep, but since I play TOT with the sounds off, idk if they have a voice actor for him. But look at him. Hes got a great morning voice oh good lord now im thinking about his morning voice aaaaaah crap.

I also think, once a relationship is established, hes very doting and soft. Hes protective- he knows who he is, he knows that the police are not loved. (And he knows why. Honestly I'm not sure how to... write about that, though, and its also not my place to... so anyone who'd like to write about that may. Just yanno remember to be respectful to people and irl events.) So he knows that if he fucks up or a mistake comes to bite him in the ass, you might be in danger. He knows you can probably handle yourself, but he also thinks of all the worst scenarios. He doesn't want the most important person to him in any danger.

Honestly I think he would be very reluctant to a relationship. But, unlike three of the boys (Luke, Artem, and Marius), he and Vyn have something in common- hes definitely at least had some one-night-stands. Maybe after particularly rough days or weeks. Stress coping. Not gonna talk about if its wise or not.

Because, like, come on. Hes at leeeeast thirty, making him older than the boys. So he may be experienced in bed, but romance is tricky and he denies or hides his feeling like a teenager afraid of his crush. (Re: ohmygod they would be in danger tho if I confessed oh no I can never tell them!) Of course, he would confess while expressing that he is worried about you.

He also loves to see you in his blue uniform shirt. I dont know if either of you acknowledge it aloud, but since you grabbed it and put it on that one time... yeah. Yep.

But yeah hes a softy underneath all the brooding and tired exterior.

(Bonus: If u like... uh.... his cuffs..... yep thats all)

I dont believe he can cook much. Like, beyond the basics, he has like. 2 dishes that he can reliably cook. Hes a simple man, he knows how to vary them, but come on, its not like he has much time to cook stuff. You realize this quickly and while you dont have much time either, you meet him halfway... or more than halfway. Also, hey, carryout/delivery isn't so bad every once in a while. He'll work on it if you bring it up. He doesn't really notice until you do. Thats the first time you see him embarrassed. He's kinda cute as he apologizes, and it makes up for your slight annoyance at eating the meal for the third time. Hes used to his way of living, he might (definitely) forget people live differently than he does. Hes cute, I forgive him.

As a boyfriend, he does his darnedest. He literally doesn't care what he does with you, as long as its with you. When you ask him for date ideas, he thinks of some favors he can cash in to show you secret or expensive places. Those upper class jerks are good for one thing, if it makes you smile and if it impresses you. Because, of course, hes been here when it opened, so his attention is on you. (His eyes may not be, but hes much more attentive than you notice.)

I feel like hes the kind of person to snap candids of you an you dont even notice. I dont know how he would do it, but I really think he would want to remember and capture sweet moments with you. He doesnt tell you or show you these pictures, and they aren't, like, ones where you're exposed (....most of them, at least. He doesn't take pictures of you asleep for damn sure, you're not a pet.), but he just keeps them to himself. He forgets that you either know his passcode or you have your fingerprint saved in his phone, and you happen to see it because he had the album last open on his phone. Hes a sucker.

At the beginning of your relationship, I think he made a note in his notes app where he writes down your birthday, or favorite color, or things like that. Hes afraid of forgetting those things. He could never forget the day he met you, nor when the two of you admitted your feelings for each other, or when you went on your first date. He knows those dates. Hes quiet- hes thinking of those things. He doesn't mind being distracted by you.

He tries not to be super possessive because he admires your independence, but sometimes he snaps at someone like when Artem asks you to come in to work on a case on your day off. Scary Darius.

He likes holding your hand when you cross streets.

I dont think he would get jealous easily. He knows that, before he confesses, he hasn't told you, so he has no right to be upset if you flirt or spend time with someone else. And when you're together, he knows where you end up at the end of the day, so hes secure in that. If anything, if someone flirts with you and makes you uncomfortable, he checks with you first (in case you wanna defend yourself), then gives a death glare to the unlucky person. Even if you flirt back comfortably, again, he knows where the two of you end up. You in his arms, the other person unfortunately ~probably~ all alone, boohoo.

I have gotta say, I think sometimes he forgets to close doors all the way. He doesn't do it on purpose, hes just not used to people being in his home. He always puts the toilet seat down (if that applies), but cabinet doors or room doors can sometimes be left just slightly open.

His walls are kinda bare. What art he does have are monuments or architectural things. Stellis is very sleek and modern, but he knows about the older buildings. When someone else at work is reluctant to go into centuries-old buildings because they're creepy, he pretends to be annoyed but inwardly hes comfortable in them and goes without fear.

His home is usually clean, too. Its partially because he doesn't spend much time there, but also because he cleans things after use. So things aren't spick and span, but his apartment is presentable if you happen to drop by.

He shares something with Luke- i think the two of them are the only ones with any sort of pectorals. Yanno, them man boobs. Juicy muscle on the chest. (I simply refuse to believe the other boys have any beyond abs or, yanno, tone. Luke and Darius could have a nice arm wrestling match, no im not gonna say who wins.)

He tries to keep a cactus alive. He writes down when he waters it to be sure not to overwater it. Its name is Alfred and Alfred knows everything about you. He lives in the kitchen and Darius talks to him when hes cooking or nursing coffee or beer. Hes a beer guy.

I'm not sure if hes a cat person or a dog person. I think he would get along with either well. I dont know if he would have a pet, because he often has long days, and even cats need attention. Maybe if he ever gets to retire he'll get a pet. Beside himself, Alfred is the only thing living in the apartment.

He does have co-workers he spends time with outside of work. Methinks its usually at a bar or someplace like that.

I think he calls his parents every once in a while. More frequently after you start dating him. I also feel like he has a sibling but I dont know if they're older or younger. Methinks an older sister? What if she's a lawyer too!!!

(Plot twist- Celestine and Darius are related. Big just joking.... but his older sister is much like Celestine. He likes working with her.)

Idk where to put this but !! Hes a podcast guy. He listens to podcasts rather than music. He dislikes true crime with a passion (literally dont get him started because if you do, he, rightfully so, will talk for like a whole ten minutes and you won't be sure if you should be excited he talked for that long STRAIGHT or if he's ok) but he won't say anything if you listen to it. To each their own. I think he listens to podcasts talking about, like architecture or, like... news, or something. He knows what's going on in the world. Hes the first to deck any asshole. Not physically, tho. It takes a lot to get him to physical action. He has a killer glare, he knows how to insult someone (hes gotten his (un)fair share of insults or heard them thrown around). He knows how to intimidate. Usually, he can get someone to chill out or leave. If not, he would take anything outside. I think he would try not to flash his badge. If he's off the clock, he doesnt work for the city. Idk deTECtive Darius Morgan, only Darius. I dont think he likes attention.

Oh God this was much longer than I thought. I thought I would type a bit about his clothes, maybe a few habits. Good lord.

I hope someone enjoyed! If you have any of your own ideas, definitely let me know! If you agree or disagree. We literally have so little to go on that any of us could be right.

I... might post a NSFW batch at some point, but I also feel like it would be more telling of me than him, beside the things in this post. So yanno. Maybe we can just imagine.

#tears of themis #what does this say about me #darius morgan #detective darius morgan #darius morgan headcanon #tears of themis headcanon

[tsunflowers]

this is the sewer freak romance novel we have all been waiting for but that I will never actually write

Ok so the setting is in what used to be America in the aftermath of what was probably a nuclear war but no one ever goes into it and they just call it The Blight. Humanity rode it out by living in underground bunkers but within living memory they’ve finally been able to build habitat bubbles on the surface and fill them with breathable air so they can at least see sun again. There are several bunkers which maintained digital contact the entire time and while they were underground they built tunnels to each other so they could trade but they’ve had to seal off the tunnels and now you have to travel the blighted landscape to reach other habitats. Bc years back a bunch of people were like “we’re not waiting for your pussy habitat bubbles we can hack it on the surface right now” so they went out and got irradiated and the bunker people wouldn’t let them back in. So they started living in the tunnels and became sewer freaks. The sewer freaks are known to eat people and everyone is convinced they’re just biding their time until they can storm the bunkers and take over the habitats so they have to take the overland path even though it’s objectively more dangerous. The habitats are largely self-sufficient but there are some specialty parts that can only be produced in one habitat… and they just ran out. Enter our heroine

She’s named Ticonderoga bc lots of people are named after silly things from the old world but she goes by Ty. She has pcos or another condition that makes it very unlikely that she’ll ever be able to give birth which makes her uniquely expendable among the young women of the habitat. There’s this huge push in the community to expand the population now that they have the habitat bubbles but she knows she can’t be a part of that and people actually warn the boys her age away from her bc she won’t be able to have kids. Bc in a closed society like this everyone’s medical status is everyone’s business. This combined with the fact that she doesn’t have a job lined up for when she turns 18 bc her mentor died and The Council silently got rid of the job completely means that she’s selected to join the expedition to the other habitat. Btw the job is the storage and maintenance of physical artifacts and documents from the habitats history and from before The Blight. Everyone else has relied on technology for so long that they’ve forgotten the value of Real items and they’re like “didn’t we digitize that ages ago? who give a shit” but ty is Retro and she knows that holding something in your hands gives it a totally different feeling. She also likes to draw by hand. I kind of want her mentor to be a cool lesbian but she does die. Wait I had a great idea I’ll get back to this later

The rest of the expedition team is like older guys who’ve done this before and they’re kind of hazing her and telling her scary stories about sewer freaks. The general vibe is like “if you can’t keep up why are you even here :/" and she’s like it’s not like I asked to be here fuckers. But she’s actually kind of enjoying it in a weird way bc there are all these mutant plants that she’s never seen records of before bc the habitat bubble people ignore the outside world as much as possible. One morning while the guys are breaking camp (she tried to help at first but they were like “don’t chip a fingernail girlie”) she sits down to sketch a mutant flower. Which is hard bc she’s in a hazmat suit but she wants to record it somehow. And when she looks up she realizes the guys left without her. It’s not like they left her for dead bc she has a gps and radio communication. She could call them up and be like “hey fuck you guys.” But it was seriously a dick move and she’s really upset about it. She turns off her comms to kind of process and figure out what to do to catch up/how she’s going to confront them when she does and then suddenly….:.. a sewer monster appears on the surface!!!

We get like two full pages describing the sewer freak’s physicality at this point so as a reader you’re like ok she seriously wants to get hot and heavy with this sewer monster. He has, you know, smooth translucent skin and huge dark eyes and delicate long-fingered hands and he might be bioluminescent although she probably can’t tell that during the day. And he is definitely like cut also. He is one ripped sewer freak

Ty has this emergency signal she’s supposed to set off if she’s separated from the group and something happens to her but she’s not exactly in the mood to get rescued by a bunch of guys who just ditched her for fun. And besides her analytical brain is whirring at the chance to see and interact with a real sewer freak. So she tries to greet him. They have some trouble interacting bc sewerspeak (the language of the sewer freaks) diverged from English some time ago but they manage to communicate that he thought she was hurt but it’s only her feelings that are hurt. Btw sewer people can sense radio waves or some shit so he got concerned about her when he noticed hers cut off bc he knows habitat people always have radios on. So he thought maybe her suit stopped working. He acts like he’s gonna leave and she’s like “no wait!!” bc she wants to make a tangible connection with him bc that’s her thing. So she gets him to stay long enough for her to sketch him. He’s clearly super impressed by the sketch so she hands it to him and he indicates that he wants to borrow her pencil. He adds his own sketch on the corner of the page, a stylized drawing of the flower she was just drawing. She’s like “oh you draw too?” but he points to the flower drawing and then to himself and she understands that it’s a glyph representing him and he’s named after the flower. (This means the habitat people are named after relics from the old world while sewer people are named after things from the current world. Do you get it) They trade names and then he leaves. She’s like wow! Maybe everything everyone said about sewer freaks was wrong, bc clearly some of them are kind of sexy and intriguing. So she heads off to meet up with her party with a spring in her step. The party actually felt guilty and turned around for her bc they saw her gps signal didn’t move at all and she disappeared from comms but when they see her they’re like wtf why is she is such a good mood?? but something tells her she should not brag to them about her freak encounter so she pretends she encountered mutant wildlife and scared it off and they’re a little bit impressed

I just realized if they’re so paranoid and their technology’s so good they could probably invent some vehicles to go between habitats so they wouldn’t have to walk it. Pretend I have an explanation for that one

She gets to the habitat with the group. It has the exact same layout as her home but she can’t stop noticing all the things that are subtly different. They have different slang, and the food they grow and cook is different bc of the backgrounds of the people in this one, and stuff. Also the pregnancy thing is probably more intense compared to her home. Like in her habitat there’s social pressure but here it’s a civic duty. She sees a lot of really young moms and people who clearly don’t want children. She realizes that her infertility actually gives her more choice and autonomy than most women in her society and it’s an uncomfortable realization. Can I have uhhh, unsubtle grappling with conflicting feelings about motherhood as a prerequisite for adulthood using a sci-fi setting for 600, Alex?

Ty wants to get Out Of There and maybe see that spicy little sewer freak on the return trip but there are all these protocols and rituals they have to observe. They have to formally trade. They have to spend the night. They have to accept a meal and travel provisions. Since I guess this is the shitty evangelical Christian habitat the meal is probably like, unseasoned chicken and green bean casserole or something

Idk if Ty has any friends back in her home habitat. I kind of want her to have a gay guy friend who shares her reproduction related struggles bc he’s like “can I live openly as a gay man knowing that people will judge me for not Doing My Duty? even if I go to the medical center and donate sperm am I comfortable fathering children I will never actually be a father to?” so in that way her mentor could be a mentor to him as well since she’s an example of an adult lesbian in their society, and maybe that’s how they met. So she’s also like "man I wanna get back home and hang out with my bff again"

when shes home her parents are like omg we were so worried about you out in the Blighted landscape. while you were gone The Council gave us some of your mentor's stuff that she wanted you to have. and it's like a very tender handwritten note about how much she meant to her mentor that makes her cry and also some blueprints of the now-sealed tunnel opening?? basically her mentor left a coded message telling her to go down to the tunnel opening. she and her bff figure it out together and he's like Uhhh I dont want to go down to the tunnel with the sewer freaks??? but she tells him she met a sewer freak and not only did he not eat her he was smokin hot. if the sewer freaks are like cave dwellers they probably shouldn't have hair but I can't. I need them to have hair. sorry it's not Scientifically Accurate. so anyway she's like "listen it's not like we're going into the tunnels. we're just going Next to them. it's fine"

so they sneak down into the tunnels. it's kind of sad down there. ty's been down there before to cross-reference documents and just to see where her ancestors lived but it's totally different to be down there with just one other person and confront the reality of living in cramped quarters underground. kind of makes her empathize with the sewer freaks as well. when they get to the location the mentor marked they realize that there's a sealed hatch with a broken lock and inside it are mysterious items that were deposited by the sewer freaks! their mentor must have been in contact with the sewer freaks all along and she knew they weren't evil monsters! some weird shit she said starts to make a lot more sense. if ty kept the drawing she puts it in the hatch to try to make contact and if she gave it to him she sees it in the hatch as an attempt at contact

so ty and the sexy sewer guy strike up a gift cache based friendship. they don't meet in person but every time she manages to sneak away to the tunnel he's taken her gift and left something new. she's having to train in a new job that she's not that interested in but knowing that she'll have sewer presents makes her everyday life exciting. this goes on for a while and then one day she receives a drawing of a person crawling through the hatch and she's like omg. I could crawl through the hatch. there's also a drawing of a sunrise so she's like does that mean I should do it at sunrise...? will he be there....? and she decides to fucking go for it. her friend stays behind bc he's scared and also she needs him to cover for her but she has a radio. she wiggles through the hatch as early as possible in the morning and who is waiting for her but the handsome sewer freak!!

he brought a light bc he knows habitat people need them but he personally can see in the dark. she sees his bioluminescence for the first time and is like Wow.... and on his side he’s like amazed and totally hot for her once he sees her out of the hazmat suit bc he wasn’t 100% sure she was human until then. All the adults say habitat people are like humans under the suits but he had never seen one in real life so in the back of his mind he kind of doubted it. Both sides have the thing where they’re like “we’re the only People.” But actually he knew she was a People the moment she drew for him bc spontaneously creating art and then freely giving it away is such a uniquely human gesture

he takes her down through the tunnels and she sees that they've been decorated and added to and the sewer people have a whole civilization down there. they can also go onto the surface freely but they get sunburned real fast so they try to limit it. but the tunnels are now dotted with surface exits and that's how he seemed to appear and disappear when she was on the surface. they just kind of explore for a while bc she's so curious but he clearly wants to lead her somewhere. they get to a large but cozy room full of bioluminescent moss and mushrooms and a ton of sewer freaks just hanging out and who is there but... her dead mentor?!

It turns out The Council actually tried to kill her mentor for being pro-freak!!! They were like “see how much you like those sewer freaks when they’re eating you!” and left her for dead in the tunnels. but since she was friends with the freaks they did not eat her, they took her in and healed her using sewer freak blood and now she has some powers and she’s married to a lady sewer freak

The eating people thing IS true but listen. It’s hard to get protein as a sewer freak ok?? So they’ve been practicing endocannibalism all along (eating the dead members of their community). And they’ve eaten some habitat people who they killed in self defense, and maybe way back in the first few generations of sewer people they did kill and eat habitat people for no reason. But they don’t do that anymore and they feel really bad about. Actually they don’t even do endocannibalism anymore bc they raise cave fish and hunt surface animals but it’s ceremonial

so ty is like whoa i can't believe it, but I do believe it, and her mentor is like "you can't tell the habitat people. they're not ready to accept it. but you can change that. your generation needs to be open minded and accept the new earth and the new people and I think that you are a special girl and if anyone can change minds you can" and she returns to the habitat bubble with the gears in her mind turning over and over wondering how she can possibly accomplish this mission...

I said she would my fair lady the sewer freak but maybe thats book two. and I decided while writing this that the sewer freaks do have their own culture so it's not like he needs to be taught to be human. but I still want her to dress him up in normal clothes and take him home to her parents

#sewer freak romance

[1990jeevas]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

#ask.🌧 #anon #pattering on the roof #char.🌧 multi #again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb #thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit #it does impact the way i write these chars #obviously #bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.  Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 

#manhwa #fav manhwa #ebony #bring the love #a stepmother's marchen #lady baby #death is the only ending for the villainess #beware of the villainess #who made me a princess #the flower that was bloomed by a cloud #solo leveling #the reason why raeliana ended up at the duke's mansion

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu crack #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x reader #haikyū!! #haikyu x reader

[nestacorvere]

acosf rant review

i finished acosf a while ago and i just can´t stop thinking about it so this is an attempt to get it all off my chest cause i have a lot of thoughts. 

spoilers below the cut 

i read the first 6 chapters when they were “leaked” and honestly that just set the bar really low. all these years that i´ve waited for the book i always thought nesta was going to illyria and that she would be away from the inner circle (except for cassian and azriel). but then came those chapters and i realized the ic would actually be in the book and i was pissed. 

the first few chapters were hard to get through. what mor said about sending nesta to the court of nightmares (and cassian not saying anything about it), what amren said about putting her in the dungeons in hewn city made me want to through my phone across the room. sure, send a depressed person dealing with ptsd, which is something they have all gone through before, to a place where she´ll feel more tortured. yay that´s so smart. it will certainly make her feel better (/irony). 

also this thing feyre says and sjm apparently forgets about it throughout the book to make us believe feyre acted solely on nesta´s wellbeing. (i dont´t hate feyre yall it was just clear to me she had ulterior motives to send nesta away and that quote proves it)

“It is about how it reflects upon me, upon Rhys, and upon my court when my damned sister spends our money on wine and gambling and does nothing to contribute to this city! If my sister cannot be controlled, then why should we have the right to rule over anyone else?”

but then the part where nesta calls rhysand “an arrogant, preening asshole” got me laughing so much. this whole scene is a fucking disaster but that part was funny af. 

i only began to really like the book after the scene where nesta helps gwyn by trading the books in merrill´s office. when nesta trully smiled for the first time i literally teared up. 

also nesta´s friendship with the House was amazing. one of the best things in this book. and the whole “the house likes romance books” made me laugh all the time. 

“The book,” Nesta said, a bit breatlessly, “is about...” Her nostrils flared and her eyes went a bit unfocused. “A book”. 

“Interesting”, Cassian murmured, “Sounds great.” 

and this dialogue... pure gold. i’m also like that when i’m reading smut and someone asks me what the book is about hahaha. 

now another thing that bothered me:

“Because illyrians are backward and horrible”  

why is sjm constantly depicting the only POC in acotar as monsters? wht tf did she make them to be abusers? it´s a rhetorical question btw. i think we all know the answer. i´m a firm believer that even though this is a fantasy book, stereotypes like this are still damning and wrong. 

the fighting scene between cassian and azriel and nesta fantasizing about a threesome was funny and weird. i understand sjm wanted to show us who the threesome would be with if she hadn´t deleted it and it actually made me glad she did. it would not have fit the narrative at all.

the sex scenes were great in the beginning but then i got tired of them. i always get tired when there´s that much sex scenes and ik sjm warned us. but it was nessian so i made myself read and care about them. 

nesta´s power damn i was shook. i loved it. all the scenes that showed her power were absolutely amazing. 

now moving on to the worst part of the book. nesta Made the weapons. with her power. therefore they are her weapons. they happened to end in rhysands hands but that doesn´t give him, or feyre, or the ic the right to choose not to tell her about her weapons. the whole high king thing sjm threw out there just to make us see that hey rhysand is not bad yall he doesnt want to usurp power even though he has the weapons for it and his friends actually suggested it. amren could go to fucking hell for all i care after this. also for the things she say when nesta confronts her about it. 

when rhysand and all them found out the baby could kill feyre and didn´t tell her i was already pissed. who the fuck they think they are to deny her the information that she might die and that her son would likely die with her? nothing and no one has that right. not even her fucking mate. no one. i think it was wrong of nesta to tell her the way she did and to only do it out of anger. but i was actually fucking glad someone told her at all. and rhysand threatening to kill nesta only makes me more angry. even feyre can see it was because of the parallel she saw between them not telling her about the weapons and she isn´t even angry at nesta. but rhysand thinks he has the right to be angry after not telling his mate she could die? oh fuck off. 

i actually enjoyed the major plot of this book. the dread trove thing, the queen and koschei was actually pretty interesting to me and i wasn´t bored. it actually made me more interested to read the next books. i had promised myself i would be done with sjm after acosf cause all i ever cared about was nesta but i might keep reading cause i enjoyed this plot. 

since i´ve talked about the worst part (to me) let´s talk about the best parts now. nesta´s, emerie´s and gwyn´s friendship was absolutely everything to me. i love them all so much. i was just so happy to see nesta happy and i fell in love with emerie and gwyn as well. i also love nessian and although some things they said to each other and the way cassian behaved toward nesta in some scenes didn´t really make me happy, i will always love this couple. i just like the version in my mind and fanfics better. and nesta´s whole healing arc was amazing to me. it made me so so proud of her.  

azriel´s present to nesta made me soft. i love them so much omg i wished they had interacted more.  

the scene where it´s revealed nessian are mated is so heartcrushing. it made me sad to see cassian say he was “shackled” to her because she had already admited she felt unworthy of his love and by saying that he just made her feel it all over again. sad sad sad sad sad. i actually cried. 

the whole blood rite thing to me was only to prove to us readers that nesta was strong even without her powers and it was preparing us for what would come. that being said i actually liked it. i think the bond the girls created there and nesta realizing how strong she was made it worth it. 

now to the ending. i unfortunately read spoilers of the ending before i finished the book. so throughout it was already preparing myself for that scene. i think that was part of the reason that i wasn´t pissed by the end of the book. i don´t think power means strenght and i also believe nesta is strong regardless of her power. but i just loved her power, you know. i don´t think she´s any less strong now because everything she learned makes her strong in a different way. but i was just sad. it made me think sjm just didn´t want anyone more powerful than rhysand. 

also sjm really made nesta think of rhysand as her brother, seriously. out of nowhere. he never did one good thing toward her. never. and he also didn´t apologize for the bad things he did. no one apologized actually. nesta and feyre were the only one´s that actually said they were sorry and that realized they were wrong. sjm made nesta apologize to everyone. but only one person apologized to her.  disappointed but not surprised. 

i think that´s all i have to say. this book was truly a rollercoast of emotions to me. i was angry, sad, i laughed, i cried (of sadness and of happiness) and in the end i was just happy. all the things i wrote here were because i couldn´t stop thinking about the book after i finished it and i started realizing some stuff. but i still loved it. nesta is my favorite character and in the end i´m just happy she´s happy. 

#nesta #nessian #acosf #acosf spoilers #this is a mess im sorry