#something something 'i would die for you' is obviously lying bullshit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buzzkillers · 10 months

Text

A little of you, A little of Me

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader

Warning: non-con, power unbalance, implied smut, emotional manipulation, fuck or die (?)

He said it was a canon event. He was obviously lying.

Not like that mattered, in the grand scheme of things anyway. Everyone lied to you here, no one thought you were worthy of the truth. This wasn't your world after all and this wasn't your New York. So the rules were just a bit different, a little off.

You couldn't get a pass by just being you.

Nah, you were a played out parlor trick. Something that's been copied and pasted into far too many universes and dimensions. You weren't special. Your name might've not been Peter Parker but that wasn't enough.

You needed to be more. You needed to have something. Anything that would impress Miguel enough to see you as a threat; as someone not worth lying to.

Outside of that, what was there to say? You were just a variant.

Another younger spider person that life hadn’t trampled on yet in your attempt at a normal life. You weren't Ben Reilly or Jessica or that miniature spider from Earth 6-877. And if you wanted to be nice (which was rare) you'd say that your purpose was to look like you had purpose. Like you had any business being here at all.

Just someone to look at Miguel so he could rant and whine about anomalies and dimensional pockets as if any of that sounded sane.

Yet, against your will, you fell in line all the same. Under his gaze, your back straightened and your heart beated erratically while you at least pretended to listen. You had no other choice really. Blame it on being young, or a spider or simply being too naive to see the bad in good.

But when someone with enough confidence, bravado and well everything that made Miguel who he was, said something. It was almost to easy to listen to him, it was practically expected. What else were you going to do? Be stubborn, selfish? Ignorant?

Maybe that’s why Miguel O’hara terrified you.

You knew he was lying but you couldn’t help but listen anyway. In the grand scheme of things he was good at that. With precision and brute strength, he strung together a web of lies and sticky fibs that made you unable to leave. ‘Your canon event’ he had whispered to you in the darkness of his lair. (Cause what else would you call an office with only a computer as its light source)

He had said it so smoothly, so easily; With open arms and eyes wide enough to hide the glimmer of red sheeted underneath it. There was no light show this time, no complicated holograms of the dead parents and the venom symbiotes or the constant blood and death and lost children, no it was just him.

And somehow that was way worse, way more horrific and ankle biting for someone like you.

After all, Miguel was the world, the universe and you were just this thing. This small, crushable thing that backed away and flinched when he took a step too close.

Who couldn’t hide the panicked breaths and syrupy heat that pooled in your stomach. You were nothing beneath the man that created it all. It was a fact that made your ears stay perked up beneath the mask. You were you and he was everything. You should've just listened to him. Yet,

“I don't understand,” it was a statement that broke through all of the other bullshit that bubbled in the base of your throat. All the fear and confusion until you looked at him head on. At Miguel whose frame suddenly swallowed the very shadow of you; With his tall stature and big eyes that glowed in the dark, a new light source that only made you tense up.

A moth that was afraid of the light. That's what you were and you couldn’t help but place another foot back; stumbling like a gangly spider with no stickiness to its legs.

Miguel of course, stood tall and firm.

“I know it's a lot to take in, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you,” you frowned at that, another lie. So much so that your senses couldn’t help but ring a bit higher.

“Then why did you,” you blurted out, cause what else was there to say? Nothing it seemed because Miguel only looked down at you, forever down at you as if you were a kid.

As if you didn’t have a college essay due in a week and a date with your own Peter in another. Jesus, you paid taxes for crying out loud.

You weren’t a child, you weren’t Gwen or Pavitar or god forbid Peter B. You were fucking Spider-Woman, you could ask questions, you could ask why. But the longer the question lingered in the air, the more childish you felt and the more ridiculous you realized it was to question Miguel.

Suddenly you felt silly, even if Jessica was suspiciously not here and Peter was gone and everyone that littered the corners of this office of his was now non-existent.

To be honest, if it weren’t for the scuffs you heard beneath the floorboards, you might’ve been tricked into thinking that you were the only ones in this building, in this entire shitty city even.

The corners of your lips now trembled and your hands pulled at the spandex of your suit. You looked down. “I have a date next week,”

"it's gonna be our first one," it was a shitty protest but,

“And do you think that's worth the end of the multiverse?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He simply crowded you in and backed you up roughly until your feet twisted again with the other.

“Do you think your Peter would want everyone to die just so what? He can get his dick wet?” Your face twisted at that.

“Go fuck yourself," Cause nah you weren’t a push over.

Yet, you could only bring your mask halfway up to say it; enough for him to read your lips and see the way they sneered at him. He didn’t need to know that your eyes were firm on the ceiling the whole time.

“You know nothing about me, about him,”

He got closer, suddenly you were chest to chest. “I know that the Miguel in your universe is dead,”

“I know that in every version of you and every version of me there's an us, no matter how it happens, or how quick it is,” Bullshit, it was all fucking bullshit. But he said it with such confidence and reluctance, like the words were hard to think about, much less say.

“Listen, I’ll make it quick” he continued, a rough hand now on your shoulder. All that muscle that you built over the years now nothing beneath his grip.

Optimistically, some part of you thought he meant for it to be reassuring but your senses have started to scream and there was a tremble in your thighs that wasn't there before. This time, it was Miguel that pushed you back, your knees buckling into something hard.

“No, there has to be another way,”

“There's not—unfortunately” he added on, like it was an afterthought.

"Bullshit,"

“Did you even try?”

“Try?” he cocked his head, jaw clenched tight. “Trying means there's a possibility of failing, Spider-woman,”

“Are you willing to take that risk?” Are you? Have you ever? Of course, the words stayed stuck in your throat.

Buried and dead, all while Miguel looked at you with the intensity of someone who regularly gave false choices before solemnly he rolled his shoulders. Whatever he found in the tremble of your lips and awkwardness of your gait making him attempt something close to a smile.

"Listen, I'm trying to be nice," He sighed, his fangs gleaming beneath his lips. "Or do you think I want this? Want you?" And ok, ouch.

"Man, I just think this situation is fucked,"

"I mean, why does it have to be you," it could be any other varient. Any other Miguel. But the comment only earned you another childish look down.

Another sneer that said you knew nothing, he knew everything and you might as well just fall in line. The grip on your shoulders grew tighter. Beneath him you suffocated.

Above you, his eyes bled red and his fangs never looked so sharp. "The multiverse could collapse at any moment and you want conveniency?"

"I was just thinking-"

"And that's the problem,"

"You thought, and now we're debating the fate of trillions,"

"Are you really that selfish?" he spat and your eyes widened.

Selfish. You seized up at that word like it was poison and in a way it was. Selfish and Spider-Woman were antonyms. They fought constantly and neither ever won. Selfishness was a curse, a bane that wove itself into your skin until you dragged it out yourself. Pulling and pulling and pulling until you felt it kiss your underskin.

Selfish. Bile bubbled in your throat and your fingers tingled. He was lying. You knew this, you felt the truth sting at your skin, felt the pricks at the base of your neck and yet,

"Ok," you whispered. One word but Miguel didn't need you to repeat yourself.

“Ok," he drew out testedly, as if he was tasting his own victory.

"Then come on,” he gestured to something behind you; his expression still sorrow as if this was hard for him. “Bend over,”

“On your tippy toes and widen your legs,” God, he did not just say ‘tippy toes’.

‘Is that a part of the canon event too?’ you wanted to ask.

But to speak it meant to acknowledge what this really was. It meant that you couldn’t pretend that you ever had a choice.

Yet, your tongue still burned with questions, with the why,why,why. A list of snarky, back handed comments laid at the tip of your tongue. You had so many questions to ask.

And childishly you couldn't help but think that maybe you could change his mind, maybe you could convince him that this wasn't worth it. If only you used the right set of words, the correct cadence, an inspiring lilt to your tongue.

But Miguel O’hara was terrifying and big and all the doors were closed and there was only one source of light and-

You turned around and bent over, on your tippy toes.

Suddenly, a strong ache stretched from your legs and into your belly. Before eventually it twisted into your senses and made your head hurt and core heat up. Did your body know? Did it understand what was happening?

From behind you, Miguel's feet stayed stagnant, frozen in place.

It was an reaction that gave you half a mind to stand back up cause what if this was a joke? A sick fucking joke and everyone was about to come out of the corners and laugh and tease you for again being the dumbest of the spidermen before what sounded like the largest exhale known to man bounced off the walls and Miguel was directly behind you. A large hand pressed onto your back, as if he thought you were gonna escape, as if you could.

“One day you’ll thank me for this,” he whispered, while you ignored the way his breath went ragged, and the way his talons slowly spliced at the spandex of your suit.

Quickly, your cunt hit cold air and you shuddered violently. Miguel took another deep breath, his taloned fingers brushed against your cheek before gently, patiently he pulled the mask off your face. Your braids now splayed across the table.

"Now look forward, we're saving the world," then his suit completely dematerialized, and you widened your legs.

#miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara smut #dark miguel ohara #miguel ohara x black reader #atsv x black reader #atsv x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #tw: noncon

298 notes · View notes

antianakin · 29 days

Note

I know many people see Obi-Wan as Anakin's dad, but he's a bit more like Shmi, isn't he? Like they both tell him about the value of letting go and live by their teachings (Shmi giving him up so he could have a better life/ Obi-Wan's entire relationship with Satine) and seem to hold the title of parent in Anakin's mind. Which is why his reaction on Mustafar was so explosive; if Obi-Wan disapproved of his choices, that meant that Shmi would have too and that drives him insane

Idk really know if this is correct

I mean, I don't think seeing Obi-Wan as a father figure and Obi-Wan being similar to Shmi are mutually exclusive things. If you remove the gender from it, it just means both of them are parental figures in Anakin's life. I feel like I've seen people positing that a lack of a paternal or maternal figure in Anakin's life at different points is what fucked him up or something, but this feels like bullshit to me.

I think Anakin does see them as SEPARATE, but obviously Shmi and Obi-Wan do both hold a similar place in his life and they have similar values. I think Anakin is someone who clings pretty hard to the people he loves and he DESPERATELY needs their approval. I think in this case, Obi-Wan is separate from Shmi in this, so on Mustafar it's not really that Obi-Wan's disapproval automatically means Shmi would've disapproved and it's SHMI'S disapproval that hurts. I think Obi-Wan's disapproval hurts ON ITS OWN because he cares about Obi-Wan's opinion regardless of any connection it may or may not have to Shmi.

I also think that Obi-Wan's opinion connects to how good of a JEDI Anakin is. Obi-Wan is a consummate Jedi, and if we take his word for it, Anakin sees Obi-Wan as the wisest and most powerful of all the Jedi. If Obi-Wan disapproves of him and his choices, it means Anakin isn't a good Jedi. And if he's not a good Jedi, perhaps he's not a good PERSON. We see Anakin sort-of fall apart over thinking he's not a good Jedi once in AOTC after the Tusken massacre, and then once in ROTS over murdering Dooku, so we know that being "a good Jedi" matters to him to some degree. If he isn't a good Jedi, then what's left? He's wrapped his entire identity and self worth around being a Jedi in a lot of ways, it's part of why he can't just walk away from it in order to be with Padme instead. He HAS to have both.

And by Mustafar, Anakin is fully in delusion land and is just straight-up lying to himself because he's gone beyond a point of no return and he knows it but can't truly ACCEPT IT. Facing Obi-Wan means facing a particular truth about what he's done that he wasn't actually prepared to face (presumably he would've just thought Obi-Was would die along with everyone else and he'd never see Obi-Wan again). But now Obi-Wan is here, this person he'd loved and who had loved him and who he betrayed in the worst possible way, and he has to actually ANSWER FOR WHAT HE'S DONE. So facing Obi-Wan's disapproval also means facing his own guilt, something Anakin never ever wants to do.

So, yeah, I think Obi-Wan's disapproval means a lot all on its own and it doesn't NEED a connection to Shmi to make it mean something to Anakin. I think Obi-Wan's place in his life as a parental figure definitely adds some weight to his opinion, especially in the absence of Shmi herself and Anakin's desire to find a replacement for that relationship in his life, but I don't think that that's the whole or even the main reason why Anakin's reaction to him on Mustafar is the way it is.

#star wars #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #shmi skywalker #listen i like shmi too #but not everything in anakin's life is necessarily about his mommy issues #also i am v tired and kinda scatterbrained rn due to rl stuff so hopefully this response makes some kind of coherent sense

37 notes · View notes

eldritch-horror-from-the-void · 1 month

Note

Do you think Maul is capable of having an intimate relationship (romantical or not) that's not in the same vein as the master-padawan dynamic?

Y E S

Yes, I do think Maul is capable of love.

Rant below because I have no chill. 💗 :3

I think Maul is capable of any kind of love, the problem is that he doesn't know how. That's the most important detail. And unfortunately, many possible chances he's had have been ripped away from him. (Fuck you, Sidious.)

Maul, since a horribly young age, has been hurt and abused continually for the sake of becoming a tool, we all know this. The pattern is simple: Meet someone, inevitably be hurt by them, then survive or die. Maybe you'll end the person's life yourself before they get the chance to kill you, if you're "lucky". The second Maul meets a person, there's probably countless ways they could hurt him. He's the "perfect tool" he needs to be ready at all times.

Now, I know you specified love outside of Master and Apprentice dynamics, but I would argue the only reason why Maul forced his brother, and Ezra, into those rolls is because that's all he knows. Maul's relationship with Sidious was invasive, and all-consuming. He's never had anything else, but isn't cruel enough to be THAT abusive to either of them. Of course, that doesn't mean their relationships were the healthiest.

Now, you can't replicate a pattern you don't know, right? Especially when it's something so personal and deeply unfamiliar. That "pattern" is love for Maul. Instead, he fits people he wants to show love for into boxes his Master has conditioned him to believe is appropriate for a Sith. Otherwise, they would all be brothers and be happy together. (<- shut up, I don't care if I'm lying to myself.)

Assuming Maul receives a persistent, strong, caring presence in his life (<- obviously one that won't be ripped away from him), he would be capable of healing and learning. It would be sweet and heartwarming, but it would be one hell of challenge, don't get it twisted. There's a lot of self-destruction to undo.

As clearly seen with Ezra, The Wrath of Darth Maul, etc. Maul craves connection. Hence the whole "be my broth- I MEAN- apprentice, please! 🥺" Bullshit he pulls in Rebels. He's so sad and pathetic and wet. I love him so much.

I hope you enjoyed my Ted-Talk, and that this fit the bill! :3

#maul character meta #answered asks #maul opress #darth maul

39 notes · View notes

x-authorship-x · 6 months

Note

What do you think would Fox and Shisui think of each other if they ever met?

Oh anon.... Honestly I love both of these characters to pieces but imagining them meeting...!!!

Fox would think Shisui is... Someone who needs watching. This is a guy who is pretty young, by nat-born standards, but obviously frighteningly skilled, and the origins of those skills would be REALLY suspect. He is also clearly lying a lot, Fox would clock this immediately, and Fox doesn't like bullshit but especially not Force Bullshit. However Shisui is earnest and protective of individuals as well as big-picture peace, and he's much more brutal than the Jedi which will appeal to a man like Fox who doesn't have a Jedi General and has been pushed to the edge by the Senate, so I think Fox would warm up to him. Given Shisui's strong moral code but his willingness to be absolutely brutal, and his familiarity with death and his trump-card experience with mental/sensory manipulation, I think he would be a great ally for Fox and Fox would eventually know this. Fox might be frustrated out of his mind but Shisui is now in his inner circle of Ride Or Die and this is amazing ✨

Shisui would see Fox, the horrible circumstances of his birth and the abuse from the Senate (let's be real here, I'm running how I want this to run and IDGAF if it's more fanon than canon), and want to help. (Shisui, looking around: is no one gonna fix this mess? Also Shisui: *leaps in without waiting for an answer*). He has experience with investigation, both in ANBU and the Uchiha Police, and it's almost impossible for him to keep his nose out 😅 Fox is strong and gruff but he's no where near as... highbrow? as Shisui's Clansmen, who wore their heritage and position as a shield as much as a badge of honour, whilst the clones are proud bht very careful with their identity... Shisui keeps bracing for political maneuvering and yet Fox is... refreshing. He's so protective of his brothers, not like the Uchiha were defensive, because Fox would do ANYTHING for his brothers and so long as they're alive and whole etc then that's what matters but he's also tied so strongly to his sense of duty that theyre dealing with the crumbling Senate anyway and Shisui is kinda starry eyed for that kind of love and responsibility? Shisui is HERE for Fox being a total king of protectiveness

Well now I'm thinking 'palpatine gets pissed by Maul acting out and tries to SUMMON a new slave/apprentice only to get Shisui who snaps his neck on instinct and this leaves Shisui, who looks like That Sith The Jedi Have Been Looking For, pinned as the assassin of Darling Supreme Chancellor (not exactly wrong so the Force isn't registering any lies lmao), being chased by Fox, investigating the murder, and Anakin, who is absolutely not interested in the rule of law

So Shisui springs up, like the universe-shattering lunatic he is, and fucks up canon BAD. fox is like WHO IS THIS WEIRDO RUNNING UP WALLS AND BABBLING AN UNKNOWN LANGUAGE AND MAKING MY LIFE EVEN HARDER. shisui is like MAN THIS COP IS EVEN WORSE AT RIDING MY ASS THAN MY UNCLE AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING. Cue mutual begrudging (for Fox) respect and mounting frustration as they run around like *Scooby Doo Chase music* whilst Palpatine's corpse is smouldering in the BG.

I think Fox, who is a hardass but also is low-key like 'Fuck Palpatine', would be like THIS IS MY MURDERER, IDGAF WHAT SKYWALKER IS WAILING, DONT SHOOT MY SUSPECT. which means that, naturally, Shisui tries to extend the olive branch of working together to figure out the truth, Fox is like 'oh god no now I am believing in this Force bullshit', and you have 'law-abiding/jaded/hurt/bamf hard-shell-soft-center character' forced into partnering with 'wanted-criminal/jaded/hurt/bamf sunshine character' and I think this is an adventure for the books👏✨

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #shisui #commander fox #corrie guard #star wars #naruto #star wars x naruto #shisui au #star wars shisui #kinda-Sith Shisui lmao

20 notes · View notes

haughty-ojousama · 12 days

Text

I'm honestly rlly fucking glad I wasn;t born a girl, my parents were already shitty enough to me as a wee lad that I wanted to kill myself before I was like even 5 cuz I felt I was such a burden and disappointment to everyone, and they got better, but they still treat my kid sister like shit.

my dad fucking whines about my sister being 'needy' and always saying good night and I love you multiple times in a row and he worries she'll be easy to abuse as an adult, and like, yeah, I do get that, but you pile on nothing but criticism on the poor girl, even on honest mistakes. my sister fucking gets sick if she doesn't immediately fess up even misdemeanors and my parents fucking DARE accuse her of lying, fuck hell, she's 10, she calls you to confess she looked at a computer to tell time or some shit, but ohhh, she's a liar an exaggerator, fucking die!

criticize her for eating sweets, constantly fatshame her, she's not even fucking plump goddammit, criticize her every move, lecture her forever cuz she accidentally broke something that was in constant use, just fuck....

and my dad goes on abt childhood innocence being important, as if she's not almost a teen, as if innocence wasn't invented by victorian men to rape their daughters easier, fucking hell....

I tell my sister abt mental disorders, and he fucking calls me out for not talking abt 'agency' I gave simple definitions and causes of things to a 10 yo when explaining why I got into psychology, what the fuck do you mean agency, when the fuck was I supposed to talk abt that?

was it when I was describing how narcissists and ASPDs and borderlines were influenced by childhood trauma? was I supposed to assign agency to a child abused by their guardians? I mean, he didn;t mean it that way, but like, if anyone does, y'know, uh.... FUCKING KILL YOURSELF YOU SUBHUMAN SACK OF SHIT

I SWEAR TO GOD WE ASSIGN AGENCY TO ABUSED CHILDREN FOR BEING ABUSED ALREADY WE JUST DON'T SAY IT OUTRIGHT CUZ EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS THAT'S A MONSTEROUS THING TO SAY SO WE DISGUISE IT SO WE CAN SCAPEGOAT THE INEVITABLE IMPERFECT VICTIMS AND I HATE IT AND I WANT EVERYONE WHO PERPETUATES THIS SHIT, EVERYONE WHO BLAMES KIDS FOR THEIR OWN ABUSE, TO CARVE OUT THEIR OWN FUCKING GUTS fuck you fuck you fuck all of you

the other thing, which he likely meant, was assigning agency to cluster Bs for their actions, but no one means that. I explain ASPD leaves you with lower empathy and impulse control, and I'm told I didn't assign 'agency', go fuck yourself mister, when you say agency, you mean 'subhumanize these people'

like obviously cluster Bs can abuse and be dipshits and unpleasant, so can normal people, cluster Bs can also do good things and be caring and helpful and benign, but I guess if we don't have a class of battleroid evil mooks to assign all societal evil to because GOD FORBID we introspect upon our own capacity for evil

also diagnosis is strictly a tool to help people work around their issues, if I see you hoes using it to pathologize dicks to avoid introspecting upon your own evil, I'll.... well I don't have the energy to suibait you bitches, but like, imagine me handing you a loaded gun and telling you to kill yourself

AND THEN FUCKING DO IT BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DANGER IN AGGREGATE TO EVERYONE ELSE

but then if that was followed, most ppl would prolly kill themselves, and that's not that good ig

anyways, to cap this off, while this is a vent and ramble, I should note, my parents are better than most and actively trying to be better, and that they learned their bullshit from worse superstructures

2 notes · View notes

cousmemes · 1 year

Text

dialogue starters from d20's THE SEVEN; episodes 1&2. feel free to change pronouns/context/etc. as appropriate.

"I feel like you could be a friend."

"I mean, evil's kind of like a relative term."

"Yeah, and just like absolute power corrupts absolute— oh hey!"

"We're doing introductions right now?"

"You need to get a personality, babe."

"I fucking hate dragons."

"This has awakened something in me."

"Umm. We need to get out of here or we're gonna die."

"I don't think we're gonna die. You are really powerful and I feel really safe around you."

"I haven't felt this bad since math class."

"Hey, I made friendship bracelets."

"You're gonna be okay. We're gonna get you back there."

"Fuck dragons, let's go!"

"We have 30 seconds to do this."

"It's just, sometimes I think that you might shatter into a million pieces and now--"

"Oh, my God, when are you gonna stop doing this? You don't need to be doing this anymore."

"Don't take an attitude with me."

"I don't have an attitude."

"We're not fighting, we're talking."

"I'm calling you a liar because you're lying to me."

"Wow, wow, stop doing that!"

"My beautiful starshine, I love your conviction."

"I'm busy, you know, we all live busy lives."

"I just categorically have to say no to all of that."

"All I'm hearing is bullshit."

"I understand. You are devoted to one another."

"Okay, that was very sweet, the one thing out of your mouth."

"We played an instrumental role in stopping the end of the world. And who are you to deny us these bonds forged in fire?"

"Anyone who knows me knows my absolute contempt for laws of any kind."

"Listen here, you're not leaving until I say so."

"You must learn to give up on your dreams."

"For someone who said that they didn't like laws very much, you're sort of adhering to a lot of these rules."

"You're very cryptic."

"When you have friends, you have everything."

"That sounds like a mission to me."

"We would follow you to the ends of the Earth."

"You are the leader for sure. You're the leader."

"Your tone seems very pointed right now."

"Who's being petty? Who's being dramatic?"

"I would never. I would never, ever, ever."

"Are you joining a cult? Is that's what's happening here?"

"Obviously this is the most important thing, and this is what we should do."

"I also hate confrontation. I'm so glad we agree! I don't know what I would have done if we didn't agree."

"Listen, you know I love confrontation..."

"So I guess we're gonna sort of think on it. And it's actually gonna be fine."

"You're very intense right now."

"I need to talk exactly right now."

"Thanks for always looking out for me."

"A call without a text first? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"You really shouldn't have asked. We can't think about this anymore now."

"What? This is like the most important thing. You have to ask."

"Here's the thing. I couldn't imagine going into the world without you, but that doesn't mean... That's a failure of imagination."

"You don't need to leave at all."

#sentence starters #ask memes #starter meme #rp meme #rp prompt #*d20 #*seven

11 notes · View notes

eileensmelancholy · 7 months

Text

i want to believe in something.

i want to believe in something like the christians do. i want to be faithful to something, trust it won't disappoint or hurt me.

i want to trust and believe in something so greatly that just the sound of words move me. not acts or demonstrations, just words. i want the vibrations of reading scriptures and verses to sound ever so sweetly to my ears.

people who believe and worship a God seem to have this designated sense of purpose like they know exactly why they're here and what they need to do. everything is already preplanned for them. i want to feel this sense of security. i want to feel like i know everything is going to be okay, that this beautiful Spirit has everything taken care of. they will take care of you.

i want to be taken care of. i want to feel like i know everything will work itself out because i pray.

my grandmother used to read me bible stories as a child and even then, i never felt secure. i always sat and pondered, wondering who came up with this. who was the author of this book, of these rules? like c'mon! this dude is trying to tell me how to live my life and i can't even see him? please, even then as a child i knew these stories were bullshit. now don't get me wrong, i longed for the comfort of these stories, but it never found me. i saw how this book, this extremely important piece of everyone around me, affected my family and friends at church. i saw how touching and moving it was for them. i saw the influence this person, this God had on them. they were caught in a chokehold.

it was easter sunday and i was 9 years-old. everyone was getting ready, but i sat on the couch waiting for the "get in the car." there was a documentary on the cable, obviously neither my dad or stepmom knew it was on because there's no way in hell they would've let me continue to watch it. it was this man, talking, and the background was of a tomb and obvious signs of the dry desert. they were explaining how Jesus was dead, despite people arguing and shouting he's not dead! it even showed them carrying out "Jesus' body" from inside the tomb. i now know this documentary was most likely a hoax and is not true. or at least the body was fake. 9 year-old me, however, felt relieved. relieved that i was not the only one who didn't get it, didn't believe. i hate saying i don't believe, but i would be lying to myself and everyone else.

we went to church that day and i could not stop talking about it. i didn't realize it then, but i was challenging everyone on their faith. i was asking them the hardest questions about how it's not possible to die and come back to life, how i watched them pull his body out of the tomb this morning. i even had the guts and went as far as to write it on the chalkboard during sunday school. they kicked me out. the teacher told me i couldn't write that and i wouldn't be allowed back in class if i wrote another cruel or insensitive comment again. i vividly remember her saying to me "one day, you'll find God."

i was 9 years-old. i turned 21 on the 10th of september. it has been 12 years since my sunday school teacher said that to me and guess what, i still haven't found God!

i haven't found God in a man, certainly not in a woman either if i haven't found God in a man. i'm bound to greater chances in finding God in a woman. i haven't found God in the most beautiful places, where the trees dance elaborate dances with the wind singing and orchestrating them. not even as i watch the most ethereal waves hug the sand covered ground, their love so passionate they demand to be touched. i haven't found God in even the happiest, most stable moments of my life.

i can't see Him. i'm blind to his presence, but everyone else doesn't seem to be so what the fuck am i missing? what is everyone else seeing that i can't? my family, so awe-struck in love with God and his scriptures. my environment, filled with awe-stricken humans who are madly in love with God.

what does everyone know that i don't? what can everyone feel that i can't feel? why am i amongst the blind? i don't really care about the man, and i can't even bring myself to want to believe, so why do i long for this so badly? why do i long for comfort that is not promised, that is made up?

we stopped going to church shortly after that easter sunday. not because of my strong opinions, we just stopped. did my dad stop believing? did my family stop believing? this made my suspicions solidify. God wasn't there.

i am a Godless woman living amongst God drunken people.

#poetry #core #religious trauma #writerscommunity #core core #melancholy posting

5 notes · View notes

thedawningofthehour · 6 months

Note

Hey...

I've been thinking about this for a while, but how do you feel that your war in the fic will sync up with the one in real life? I'm not trying to be funny or anything, but it's still interesting.... To say the least. It's just that it's been over a week now, and it's hard... I remember at the beginning of all this I got into a very stressful fight with one of my super religious aunts, I was raised catholic, made my first communion and everything, but yeah, it was a mess. It doesn't help that my family is prone to go by what the media says.

(I still can't get over that time when my mom told me that popcorn caused cancer because she saw it on a facebook post or something).

I talked a bit more about my religious background in a Castlevania post I reblogged not too long ago.

This current big conflict does not affect me directly, my country has nothing to do with it the closest we came to this conflict was a long time ago when our former president cursed Israel on public television.

But it is still hard, to see all those images, glimpses of those videos, all those news and people justifying and lying shamelessly about it and not being able to do anything, but express an opinion on the internet and hope someone will see it, and on top of that not even being able to talk to your family about it because it would be a disaster again.

We are at the end of 2023 and everything sucks.

I've been kind of avoiding talking about or even reblogging stuff on my main about the Israel-Palestine conflict because it's just...it's so much. Everything is terrible everywhere in the world and I am exhausted. I dislike the notion that everyone needs to 'speak out' about every travesty that goes on, I find it very performative and ultimately unhelpful and even distracting at times, especially considering most people do not have the knowledge or tact to address something like this, even as a performative gesture.

Like, I've read a lot, and I do remember having a unit on Israel-Palestine back in high school, but that would have been 2010-2011. And it was one unit, in a high school level social studies class. I am not nearly informed enough to talk about it with the tact it deserves or say anything about it that hasn't been said already. It's difficult to even get into because so much is Zionist bullshit or anti-Semitic propaganda-though the racists have seems to dispose of the anti-Semitism in favor of Islamophobia for now. (I mean, not surprising, they also buddy up with Muslims when it comes to oppressing gays and pretend to be friends with gay people when it comes to trans people) It's just...a lot. And it hurts.

I obviously did not plan for there to be a real-life war with honestly sort of unnerving parallels to Draxum's war-I just had very, very poor timing. Same thing when I was writing my Dishonored fic and COVID happened. I mean, the Ukraine war was also going on when I started this fic, but that still felt very different and by that point we were all feeling very hopeful about Ukraine. Part of me feels like it's disrespectful to even talk about this stuff in relation to my shitty fanfiction. But at the same time I still cite other conflicts and genocides and all sorts of horrible shit in my world-building, and those people had names too.

I don't plan to sync anything up specifically with current conflicts. Some parts are going to feel relatable considering what's going on now, because this conflict really doesn't teach us anything new about war. The horror, complexity, and ultimately futility of war is a major theme in my work, and I strive to portray it with the weight it deserves. War is awful. People die. They die horrifically, they die quietly, they die unheroic and undeserving deaths. They die needlessly and they die inside even if their body survives. War has always been the same. It is suffering and death and filth. I will not co-op what's happening in Palestine to talk about my fanfiction. But if aspects of my story makes you relate to what's happening over there, I'll consider that a mark that I've done my job right. Ideally, that's what fiction should strive to do.

#sorry i usually keep the overtly political stuff on main #i've been thinking i should say something about the parallels but it didn't want it to sound like i was making fun of it #especially considering i do have a very dark sense of humor and i know that often doesn't come through well over the internet #doth asks

5 notes · View notes

inquisitorhierarch · 1 year

Text

so i think it’s been long enough since the post i’m going to vague about was last in circulation anywhere near me that i can finally talk about it without getting a flood of harassment in my inbox like i Always do every time i talk about people Lying on here about lotr. (a HUGE number of posts about lotr on here are either misleading or simply Made Up lmfao. it’s really infuriating)

anyway there’s a post going around about. the weakness of man and tolkien incorporating what he knew firsthand about the horrors of war into the story - and that part’s all totally fine. but Somebody chose to add on a widely-reblogged addition that stated something so incredibly and offensively wrong that i honestly think maybe i died at some point and read that awful reblog here in hell.

they talk at length about how the “moral” of humanity’s failing is somehow represented by. rohan “failing in its border obligations to gondor” and theoden having to die to redeem himself. and i just have one single thing to say about that

what in the good love of fuck fascist divine right of kings bullshit are you on mate

you couldn’t possibly be missing the point More you fucking weirdo

one criticism of lotr that i am very vocal about (which i for some weird reason Never see popular criticisms touch on) is that Of Course tolkien’s biases as a heavily christian british man gave him certain worldviews that obviously affected the worldbuilding of middle-earth, and he Loved him some divine right of kings rubbish. but even HE would NEVER have said or thought something so oppressively fascist about rohan’s response to gondor’s failure, because let’s be clear - the ONLY human kingdom that failed in the course of the war of the ring was fucking gondor. theoden had his problems, but the vast majority of the kingdom of rohan remained either uninterested in his descent into madness or tried to save him from it.

gondor had already been off the rails for ages at this point.

gondor, and its predecessor Numenor, represent the Higher Race of Man, God’s Chosen People (in a christian sense) - the Norman Kings who came from across the sea to civilise the British Isles and drive out the Wild Men and their offensive scottishness/welshness/cornishness/etc. the men of rohan, and other indigenous inhabitants of middle-earth ranging from dunlendings and the druedain (most likely pictish and cornish analogues) to the haradrim, easterlings and lossoth (spain/the moors, the ottoman empire, and vikings, respectively), are literally termed Lesser Men, because they’re not iluvatar’s chosen, and they are literally Expected to submit themselves to gondor’s rule, or become bad guys if they won’t. rohan literally came into being as a vassal-state of gondor, and their Happy Ending is eomer swearing himself back into that form of service and following aragorn on all his wars in the south.

now, because of tolkien’s biases, this turns out Well for them of course, but from the perspective of readers it’s easy to notice that this is actually fucking dystopian and horrific. in fact, the Most horrific example is the dead men of the Stone of Erech who fight for aragorn at Minas Tirith in order to be released from their oaths.

from their perspective, all those years ago, they were living their own lives on their own land in southern middle-earth doing their own thing, and then some tall dickheads pitched up on a boat after their island home sunk and just Declared that they were the chosen kings and all men have to submit to them. literally anyone in these circumstances would probably be justified in saying “yeah sure okay bro” and hoping the guys would go away - because they don’t have the omnipresence to know that tolkien’s version of christian god said elendil really WAS the true king and they’d be punished for not randomly right off the bat obeying some arrogant jackass walking onto Their land and insisting it all belonged to Him instead and also that their “sure thing buddy” was legally and magically binding. they literally suffered constantly for centuries because of a mistake literally anybody without magical fourth-wall-breaking genre knowledge would make.

sauron might be The bad guy of lotr, but anybody with a capability for analysis can look at the actual worldbuilding and see that gondor is also. Absolutely Horrific

and then we come to Denethor. motherfucking Denethor

DENETHOR is the one who failed in his “border obligations”. to rohan. the idea that rohan failed to guard its borders is fucking gibberish. because even if it HAD been their obligation (which it fucking WASN’T), the reason they failed was an overwhelming flood of orcs massacring their soldiers - you know. a thing that it’s pointless to blame someone for on account of all the Deaths being punishment enough you weird Freak. rohan was constantly begging gondor for help as they were being overrun... as the isen was taken and the first AND second marshals of the mark were killed. and denethor didn’t give a shit. he didn’t even want to light the beacons to call rohan for help - he was only angry that theoden supposedly didn’t answer in time because he was so twisted by the palantir that he saw defeat and betrayal in everything.

to claim that the failure in the disaster that befell the kingdoms of man in the war of the ring was rohan’s is to so totally misunderstand everything tolkien was trying to convey that i have to wonder if you even Read the fucking books or if you just Really like to wax lyrical about how great kings are. the point of theoden’s hesitation to go to gondor’s aid is that he has been through absolute hell and gondor sent NO AID WHATSOEVER so he intended to do the same thing back. and instead chooses to be the bigger man and give help even though gondor has no right to ask for it after offering nothing of its own. to do good for no reason other than it IS good.

THAT is the motherfucking point of theoden’s change of heart - not some fucking bullshit about being a good little slave to gondor’s king and laws, but the idea that in his heart of hearts, theoden couldn’t even let the people who allowed his son to die due to their inaction to suffer if he could do something about it. rohan’s entrance to the battle of the fields of pelennor is literally about how showing up for no other reason than because it’s right will win the day, even if you’re “lesser” than the big hero guys.

“rohan failed to uphold their border obligations” literally go fuck yourself you fucking prick lmfao

#accidentally got reminded of this godforsaken post this afternoon and have been fuming ever since #whoever wrote it. i hope you get better but i kinda doubt you ever will #literally. obscenely cruel take. unbelievably offensive to anyone isn't a Bonkers Fucking Monarchist #anyone who**#i bet that person fucking Loves charles *rolling eyes emoji*#i hate the dichotomy of correcting posts like this because it's like #i desperately want people to see it because i need everyone to understand how offensively wrong it is #but also everytime i point out that someone is Lying or just Wildly Wrong about lotr on here i get anon hate for months afterwards #shoutout to p/nny/nn/ for literally deliberately sending their followers to bother me #because of how Wrong they were about things they were confidently stating as Fact #sigh. anyway fuck gondor fuck denethor fuck the divine right of kings fuck elendil fuck isildur. and fuck that guy

7 notes · View notes

sirendoesomestuf · 2 years

Text

C’est La Vie, Says The Old Folks, It Goes To Show You Never Can Tell - Phase One // Byler x Doctor Who //

ok so basically this is the first ‘chapter’ (they are very short chapters, im putting this all in one ao3 chapter) of my byler doctor who crossover fic that i’m about halfway done with maybe. since i have adhd i know that it will probably take a while to get done so i decided to share the first chapter on here because of reasons i myself do not know lmao.

basically the plot is: wills a time lord, mikes immortal, they are professors at moon college. have fun.

this is obviously not all what i have done, i have like 9k words so far, so maybe i’m not halfway done yet. i just felt like sharing this

tw- mentions of death and seppuku

——————————————————

Chapter 1- The Calm Before the Storm

Riiiiinnnngggg

Riiiiiiinnnnnggggg

Riiiiinnggg-

"Professor Byers from the arts department, how can I help you?"

"It's about Wheeler."

"What did he do this time?"

"He's being put on no-pay suspension for the rest of the month."

"For what?"

"For committing seppuku in front of a lecture hall full of freshmen."

"That's just what Mike does."

"Professor Byers, please do not encourage your husband's behavior."

"He gets better every time!"

"His immortality should not change the fact that he is regularly traumatizing new students."

"Well, some of them are psychology students aren't they?" There was a pause from the other end.

"I-I do not see how that could change anything."

"I think it gives them a very good insight into the trauma of seeing a dead body." The other line was silent for about a minute.

"Professor Byers, you cannot be serious. For one this was not one of his psychology lectures, but one of his Anthropology ones." Mike, seemingly after he learned the true species of his beloved, became a slight overachiever.

"And he committed seppuku? What was this lecture about?"

"We're not completely sure to be honest." Will sighed.

"Where is he?"

"We sent him home." Where Mike would get a dirty look from Will, a list of chores they need done--the study really needs a good going through--and a grocery list. Will sighed.

"And...what do you expect me to do about this?"

"Talk to him?"

"What should I say to him?" The other line stayed silent. Will leaned back in his chair.

"I have an appointment soon; I have to go." That was a lie. This wasn't the first time Mike had killed himself in front of other people--hell, this wasn't the first time Mike killed himself in front of students. These days Mike is never careful if he's the only one in danger. Will can't blame him--why would you be careful if you came back to life 4 minutes after you died every time. Will hung up the phone. He worries about Mike; Will has no idea if the day will come when Mike doesn't wake up and that scares him--the idea of their lives together ending before the end of time itself.

Needless to say, when Will came home, he and Mike had words.

Will found Mike lying on the dining room table. They didn't live in a house--they lived on the moon, it's not like they had the space to. They lived in what was essentially a dorm with multiple rooms. Mike was nose deep in a book titled 'The History of Honor in Medieval Japan', a very ironic book title. Will slammed the door and stared at him. Mike blinked and had an expression that screamed 'I did something wrong; I know I did something wrong, and I am not sorry for it.'

"Mike, you have to stop doing this!"

"Why?"

"Because eventually they're not going to put up with your bullshit and you're going to get fired." Will put his bag down on the couch.

"So......I'll just go full time with the Ops!"

"Oh yeah! That's a great idea!"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because The Master is still after me, which means he could be after you, so forgive me for being a bit worried about you going full time on special ops missions for the Galactic Federation without me!"

"I've gone on them before! Why are you always so worried about me?"

"Because you're still human, and humans are fragile."

"I'm immortal, I come back to life every time I die!"

"But what if you don't! What if you die someday and you don't come back?! What am I supposed to do then?" Mike sat up and swallowed.

"You...you'll manage. You managed before."

"Because I knew you were still alive Mike!" Mike stayed quiet. "Mike. I love you. So much. I can't live without you."

"And you think I can? Do you have any idea how hard it was when you were on the run and I wasn't with you? Two hundred years and the only person I had was Professor Song!"

"I didn't want The Master to know who you were!" The human got off the table and went over to his husband. Mike cupped his face and kissed Will's forehead.

"Alright. I'll be more careful."

"You fucking better." Mike smiled.

"I promise!" Will smiled back.

"So no more killing yourself in front of your students?" Mike looked away and Will could hear a little laugh from him.

"Yeah."

"Thank you." The two hugged. After a couple seconds Will pulled away.

"I'm still mad at you."

"I figured."

"So you know I'm gonna make you get the groceries and clean out the lining closet?" Mike sighed but nodded. Will grinned. "Thank you~" Mike let out a breath and smiled. He stole a kiss from Will.

"I made dinner."

"Are you trying to bribe me?"

"Nooooooo...." Will giggled.

"What did you make?"

"TV Dinner." Will grinned.

#byler #stranger things #fanfic #fanfiction #doctor who #crossover #byler fic #will byers #mike wheeler #will be posted to ao3 when finished #unfinished #doctor who au #tw death mention #byler au

2 notes · View notes

finsterhund · 4 months

Text

Honestly one of the biggest if not THE biggest turning points in my life was when I finally realized that "the human experience is wretched and worthless and the human body is inherently agony to live in" is wrong, and instead: "The human experience isn't inherently wretched and worthless and the human body isn't inherently misery to live in, however the one I'm stuck with? The body I'm trapped in? THAT ONE SURE IS."

The former belief, the only cure is death. The current belief: there is a cure. Changing the body.

Like, just realizing with hindsight that human body isn't the problem, what's wrong with MINE is the problem. Improved my outlook on life.

Now, the next improvement, the next turning point, is I have to go through the trouble of curing all the shit that can be cured, working around all the shit that can't be cured but can be worked around, and trying to find acceptance in the things that cannot be changed. Which is obviously extremely fucking hard when you are not just disabled but disabled in a way that makes it very hard to jump through society's various hoops to get things.

My existence is inherently hostile and I have to work hard to make it less hostile. That sorta shit.

And unfortunately I am very exhausted from an existence that is inherently hostile. So exhausted that working hard is often out of the question.

Feedback loop of forced to exist in a state of suffering.

But I have summed the issue down to its most simplistic description and hopefully that accounts for something.

Honestly why are waiting lists for surgeries so goddamn long (Canada) why are waiting lists for psychiatrists so long (doctor shortage) why are my doctor appointments so far spaced out (doctor shortage) it's fucking bullshit. If I was one of the lucky people who didn't have an inherently agony human body experience this would be much less of an issue for me. And that's the big thing. It's not fucking fair. I didn't chose to download the shitty version before I was born. I didn't ask for this garbage. My life is made from the wretched slop discarded when the good and proper and healthy and fun human lives are made.

I was having such a good past few days and then STOMACH FROM HELL decided it was time to remind me of how much life sucks and I want to die.

I was having a good fucking time. And this stupid body went "fuck you because I said so. I exist to bring you suffering" and then it fucking did.

Good news is doctor appointment on the 10th and filling new prescription that day hopefully too. Medicine that will actually help things improve. Ghhhhh

Honestly I wish I could just blackout and jump straight to after my first surgery when I'm doing physiotherapy and able to go to the gym again.

*smashing shit* Andy wamt hims surgery!!!

I think if I actually had a date for the damn thing this would be easier. But I fucking don't!!!

Hoping I at least feel somewhat better in time for the appointment. Hoping this doesn't destroy all my progress of having a good time leading up to today.

It was a nice feeling to have a period that was enjoyable to exist within. I want that more often. Shame it's so fucking hard to get.

No wonder the allure of lying in bed and trying to dream as much as possible is so strong. That's the closest I can come to not having the awful life™️ and imagining that I'm all better.

Hnnn

Anyways, sorry my adventure into having fun is seemingly over now. Courtesy of the bad meat™️ my quest for the good meat™️ must carry on.

#text post #negative #long post

0 notes

sammygender · 2 years

Text

just went on a spiral and doomscrolled through a terfs blog i found. i always want to understand these people so badly because i just can’t get it. trans people like… physically exist. have always existed. it’s denial to act like we don’t. i have a bad tendency to sometimes have more unconscious sympathy for the perpetrators of incidents than the victims, and this sometimes applies when i think about transphobes. i kept feeling bad for this woman when i scrolled through her blog especially the more i learnt about her… like, she was obviously a real human being. she was saying insane things about men which just—genuinely could not at all be healthy for anyone—but it was obvious she’d had really traumatic experiences. i just felt bad for her. i have i can fix her! syndrome with everything, and it was popping up then. like, sure, she thinks i should die, but— she just doesn’t get it. i’m sure if she understood trans people, she’d get it. i kept telling myself it even as it became obvious her views were insane; i’m sure if someone really talked to her, she’d get it. she’s obviously an okay person, right? she’d get it.

after about half an hour of scrolling, through, i got to this post she’d reblogged going through some trans woman’s tweets and pointing out all the Horrifically Anti Cis Women Things she’d said (some of them were funny as hell) and saying how it proved Trans Women Only Want To Be Women To Mock Us, that sort of bullshit. and she’d reblogged it with this— poisonous ramble about trans women, saying that they oppressed cis women and were liars and blah blah all the usual bullshit, and she ended it saying something like— “and the most hilarious part is that they can insult us all they like but i just know they’re lying awake at night crying because they’ll never be women”.

and that was when i got it.

they know we’re trans; not all of them, but a lot of them. being trans is wanting to be a different gender than the one you’re assigned at birth. that’s all it is. and the only cure for someone who’s lying awake at night wishing they were a certain gender IS to transition. to become that gender. and— she was admitting that. admitting that people who genuinely wish they were born a different gender exist. admitting that we exist and LAUGHING. terfs dont want us alive. they frame it as a feminism issue but when it comes down to it they just think we’re freaks. it’s obvious in the way they dissect and pull apart the appearances of trans women they dislike, subjecting them to two hundred beauty standards at once even as they say they’re ‘radical feminists’. the worst ones—they aren’t malicious towards us because they mean well, because they’re motivated by the Higher Principles of Protecting And Supporting Womanhood. they’re violent towards us because they think we’re freaks for not being ‘natural’. it’s the same argument reused over and over. they’re admitting they know people who would rather die than be forced to live as their assigned gender exist, and saying: Yeah, actually, I’d like it if you died.

idk. it’s obvious. and i knew she was horrible from the start, obviously, but i can never stop myself seeing people as human. it makes it harder for me to remind myself that they don’t see us as human.

#transphobia #tw transphobia #i don’t want this to show up untagged it was upsetting as hell to read and wasn’t even speficisllt targeting me #this is obvious a lot of it and i already knew it #but #still #oliver talks

1 note · View note

hello-nichya-here · 3 years

Text

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”, who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

#how i met your mother #himym finale #swarkles #anti ted and robin #fuck ted mosby #worst finale ever #barney stinson #barney deserved better #robin deserved better #they deserved better #i deserved better

385 notes · View notes

pika-ace · 2 years

Note

Ask you about your Dark Choco Cookie joins the Brave Squad au (please I'm curious)

I explained the basic premise in the replies of the original post but FUCK IT, I've had time to ruminate, it's time for more details!!

SO! We begin right after the Brave Squad have their fight with Dark Choco. Everything basically plays out the same, but maybe with a few more added lines from Gingerbrave, saying wholesome things and basically being a foil to DC's edgy bullshit.

DC: I once clung to the naive notion of friendship and happiness, but I was wrong

Brave: Well...maybe you didn't have very good friends back then. ...You could be OUR friend :3

Wizard: BRAVE, NO-

Anyway, they go on the usual story, blah blah blah, White Lily Cookie, crystal cage, whoopsie we freed Dark Enchantress Cookie, oh shit, she just summoned that huge monster from the opening cutscene. FIGHT! Dark Choco watches the fight, and for the first time, he feels...impressed, watching these kids fight. This monster is showing NO mercy, but they're still getting up and going. They're not giving up even though they're getting the tar beaten out of them. Of course, they win, and DC is just confused as all hell. These cookies were able to best him AND Dark Enchantress Cookie?! Dark Enchantress then starts her evil manipulating talk that she says in the scene. 'You lost to kids, wow, you suck, but if you do what I say, then I'll make SUPER strong >:3'

And before DC can respond, little Brave pipes up 'He's NOT weak! Don't listen to her, mister! Just because you lost once doesn't mean it's the end of the world! Heck, we've gotten kicked around a bunch of times on the way here! But we didn't give up, and neither should you! You ARE strong, and she's just taking advantage of you!' The rest of the kids speak up as well, mostly agreeing with the point that Dark Enchantress is absolutely tricking you, she doesn't have your best interests at heart, don't just blindly do what she says, and Dark Choco is basically reeling. No one has said that to him in so long and maybe that was something he really needed to hear...?

Before he can really have a crisis about it though, DE is absolutely OVER this mushy friendship talk, and while they're distracted, sets up for a powerful magic attack. Dark Choco sees this, and the next thing he knows, he's between the kids and the attack, deflecting the magic blast with his sword, and honestly, EVERYONE is caught off guard.

Brave Squad: :Oc

DE: Did you just...BLOCK MY ATTACK?!?! >:O

DC: ........I guess I did 8/

Jokes aside, Dark Choco makes it clear that he can't let DE hurt these kids. He has no idea why or what is going through his head right now (feelings???) but whatever it is, it's something he can't ignore, just like how he was drawn to the cursed sword. Dark Enchantress is obviously pissed about this, saying that if that's the path he chose, then he would die with the rest of these miserable little cookies, and the portal opens. The school goes boom (I'm going out on a limb here, I mean they kinda skipped what happened after the giant hell portal with a dragon opened up, so I ASSUME that a lot of nearby areas got kinda fucked up) and the Brave Squad and Dark Choco are left in the rubble, a bit banged up, but alive.

Now, in a normal situation, the Brave Squad would press on and keep looking for the Vanilla Kingdom, but they kinda have to address the big, scary, dark, cursed elephant cookie in the room. Brave is the first to jump up in excitement, gushing about how FREAKING COOL it was when Dark Choco deflected that attack like that, but DC isn't exactly in the right mindset for this right now. He just betrayed his Dark Master and now he has nothing left for himself. But of course, Brave jumps in, 'Don't be silly, you have us!'

DC: ...?

Brave: Look, you really saved us back there! I don't think we'd be here if it wasn't for you! I wasn't lying when I said you were super strong! And now, since Dark Enchantress Cookie is gone, and you don't know what to do...why don't you join us?

Squad: WHAT!?!?!!

(cue Wizard Cookie yanking Gingerbrave aside for a VERY SERIOUS group discussion!)

Wizard and Chili Pepper are the ones most against this. I mean LOOK AT HIM! How can we POSSIBLY trust this guy?! But Brave shoots back, 'Uh, because he saved us! Duh!' Strawberry is mostly just terrified of him and Custard is ruminating on the idea of having such a big strong swordsman as one of his royal subjects; I mean, his manners could use some work, and maybe he could dress a little less 'black' but, he has potential... The discussion basically goes nowhere, cause Brave is DEAD-SET on this, no matter what anyone says. Eventually, Chili caves, saying that if he tries anything, they can just beat him up again, which seems to calm Strawberry and Wizard who also puts in the condition that he is going be keeping a VERY close eye on him, and if he so much as TWITCHES wrong, he's getting a lightning bolt to the FACE. Brave is perfectly fine with these terms, they break the discussion circle, and Dark Choco is officially on the team!

Dark Choco has no idea what he just got himself into, especially when Chili Pepper comments that she's so glad that she can FINALLY stop being the 'adult' of this group cause the stress was killing her. ...This is gonna be quite an eventful journey.

Tune in for more when pikaace is able to farm enough EXP jellies to actually level up her damn cookies and progress past World 9 XP

#cookie run kingdom #dark choco cookie #gingerbrave #dark choco bodyguard au #wizard cookie #strawberry cookie #custard cookie iii #chili pepper cookie #cookie run kingdom au #hope you like it!

116 notes · View notes

thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

Text

Kaz Brekker x Reader - Your What?! Part 1/2 (Soulmate au)

A/n: So I can't believe I'm doing this but... This a soulmate au! With Kaz fucking Brekker! I'm just going to cry in the corner now... I also decided to split this into two parts, so part 2 will be out tomorrow!

Warnings: language, mentions of trauma, mentions of the menagerie, mentions of death, I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: You and the crows are on a mission and your soulmate mark starts burning

All rights go to Leigh Bardugo, Netflix, and you! I just own the plot!

Soulmates are the bane of my existence.

You can say otherwise, tell me that I live in a wonderful world to have a chance to even meet my true love or whatever. Personally, I think it's bullshit.

Come on! Most people probably don't even meet their soulmate because the whole system is stupid! Maybe it was different billions of years ago when people couldn't have the same initials but now it's not about the initials.

It's about the pain.

Knowing the initials is just a slight sign to help you along your journey. The pain where those initials are is what it really is.

When your soulmate is hurt or in danger you mark will burn. Depending on the level of how much pain or danger they will be in it could feel like a mosquito bite... Or feel like your getting stabbed multiple times.

In my opinion well really... I don't give two fucks about it. It is what it is but the worst part about soulmate marks is when the person dies.

So when your soulmate is going to die, or is VERY close to death your soulmate mark fill start to flicker. Apparently it's worse then the normal pain you face with soulmates. When the person dies though...

In the case that your soulmate dies, the mark will slowly fade away causing you excruciating pain that could last YEARS. (Dramatic I know.)

That's what I used to think anyways.

When my sister finally escaped the menagerie I was ecstatic, but then she got dragged into the whole 'ice court heist,' so that was fun. In the time that everything happened I eventually got dragged down with her when Ketterdam was on lock down looking for criminals.

Then I found my soulmate.

Kaz fucking Brekker. Or Kaz Rietveld would be more correct, I guess.

After the whole heist was finally over we decided that fine, we could bond and we did. Being us, we didn't tell anyone not to stir up trouble, (we both had enemies) and because Inej Ghafa was my sister. Her and the others would be very protective of me.

Not like they can stop me though.

"Y/n." I snapped my head to look up to Kaz and he raise's an eyebrow at me.

"Don't kill Pekka." I roll my eyes at him. Since Kaz did tell me about his past I told him if he wouldn't kill Pekka I would.

Or at least his son.

I sigh. "Fine but don't expect me to give him a fucking birthday present."

"I never said you had too." Kaz says blankly and I almost grit my teeth together at the thought of Kaz having no emotions. Wow, people really don't know him. Though I guess that's the point.

The Crows and I start walking towards the warehouse-club and Kaz walks with me step by step. That must means he's worried because most times he doesn't even look at me when we're on a job to not show weakness.

Shit.

I brush my hand quickly up against Kaz's gloved ones and I give him a nod.

A promise.

A promise to make it out alive as long as he does. I step back and lower my pace so I'm not leading with Kaz anymore and I fall into pace with Inej and Nina.

My mind goes to when Kaz found out I was his soulmate. I had found out on when he went on a mission one time and I just... Didn't tell him.

*Flashback*

The walls of the Crow club all the sudden become suffocating as I stare intently at Kaz. I spin on my heels and dash out the doors tears filling my eyes. I don't even know where I'm running, I just needed to escape out of the Crow Club.

I need to escape the disappointment.

I slide down onto the wall of the alleyway feeling like a fool. How could I have ever thought someone like Kaz could love me. Regardless of the soulmate mark he didn't even know about.

I sense a someone is in front of me and I go to lift my head up and a man has me at gun point. I go to grab my knives. Shit. I curse every saint ever in existence. They aren't there. I don't even have a gun.

Bare fists I guess it is for me.

We turn in a circle and he clicks the safety off his gun and in a split second I duck when I hear a short, boom!

I growl in pain as a bullet goes through my shoulder and he goes to shoot again and...

BANG!

The man drops dead to the floor.

I turn around and behind me is Kaz holding a gun, but his face is in pain and worry is there as well, spread across his face more plainly then I had ever seen before.

"Your my soulmate." He mutters and I barely hear it. My chest heaves and I just nod my head not being able to speak.

He come's over and pause's right in front of me, just a foot away. Slowly, he takes off his gloves and he nervously takes my hand and laces our fingers together.

Then we start walking back to the Crow Club.

To a new future. Together.

*Flashback over*

"What do you even have against Pekka Rollins anyways, Y/n?" Inej questions me as we speed-walk to the warehouse where some Dime Lions are stirring up trouble.

My brain scrabbles to put something together but I have always been a efficient liar. No offense to my sister she's fantastic at what she does, but lying had never really been her thing.

"Rollins is a barrel boss." I shrug my shoulders seemingly uncaring even though there is so much more layers to it. But I guess I'm not lying.

Yet.

"So is Kaz." Nina points out but I already planed for that response.

"And we're dregs. Pekka is a big barrel boss, he scares off people from coming to the dregs. It's a problem and it's getting on our ass's." I grumble.

"I didn't know it mattered to you that much." Inej states. I wanted to scream in her face. He killed Kaz's brother! He almost killed Kaz! He creates monsters where ever he goes and tries to control them like caged lab rats! But I couldn't do that, so furiously I snap at her.

"Well it should to me, it's my job."

Nina and my sister both look at me weirdly, oh crap. They don't know I have basically the same authority as Kaz. Fuck.

*Flashback*

"Why give me a promotion? Isn't there other people who could use it? Who would do better than me?" I ask Kaz as he goes through the papers on his desk.

"I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it." He looks up to me and starts to get out of his desk. He goes to the door but before he can open it I grab his arm.

"I basically have the same power over the dregs that you do. I don't think that's a good thing."

Kaz just shrugs his shoulders and opens the door.

"What's a king without his queen Y/n?"

*Flashback over*

"Wait what?" Nina asks confused.

At least it goes off the topic of me hating Pekka Rollins with everything I have. Internally I sigh at my foolishness, I had only accepted Kaz's request recently, so no one really knew who was helping him out all the time.

*Flashback*

"Nemesis." The man whispers as I circle around him using the blinding light and the darkness to my advantage.

"Yes, and I get to decide if you live or die. Tell me, did you kill that little girl - Oh what was her name? Sarah was it?" I say loudly my voice confident and dangerous.

"No-no!" The sleaze ball yells and I throw one of my knives at his hand. The knife goes through his hand sticking it to the wall. The man screams out in pain.

"Liar." I hiss.

"Fine! Fine! I killed her!" He manages to scream out. "I killed her." He sobs as he says those three words again.

"Good." I say as I secretly pull a knife out behind my back into my right hand.

"I will grant you mercy." I whisper into his ear.

"Oh thank you!" The man sobs. "Thank you!"

I quickly slit his throat and he chokes on his blood for a few second and horror frames his face, before he falls to the ground.

Dead.

I hear a click of a cane and I whip my head around to face the one and only Dirtyhands.

"You know killing him was accepting my offer, right?"

"I know." I don't have to look at him to know a small smile that has become reversed for me, is sitting on his face.

Then I remember what he said to me when he first gave the offer. I turn to face him as I try to hide my smirk, and I look at him right in the eye.

"My Crow king."

And I turned and walk away.

*Flashback over*

"Well-" I start to say but I'm cut off from Jesper's very excited 'we're here!' Thank the saints though, because it gives me time to escape they're questions for now.

"You all know the plan."

Nina puts her hands on her hips. "Only the parts you deem important enough for us to know."

I nearly snort and a small smile grace's my lips. They really have no idea, well obviously some idea being that the ice court heist existed.

Kaz rolls his eyes and makes a go motion.

Inej goes to slip through the shadows but before she's totally gone I make eye contact with her before she leaves. It clearly says our conversation is not over and stay safe.

I suck in a breath, I always hate it when I have to say goodbye to anyone. Especially when that some person could die.

Running over to back of the warehouse, I pull my hood up trying to be the most concealed that I can be.

Wylan is going with Jesper to go make a distraction so they'll be going through the front doors. Nina will be going to go flirt to go get some extra info, perhaps steal some things on the way and wiggle her way into the top floor where the Dime Lions are. Matthias and Kaz will be going together with them posing as the warehouse-club guards. Inej will be going through the roof, while I'll be going through the back.

In the end everyone will get to the top floor so we can exterminate some Dime Lions, and get into the vault where a whole bunch of kruge is. Hopefully there will be enough so I can put my share's with Inej's so she can get that upgrade on her boat that she needs. It's not like I'm going to use the money to do anything useful, she deserved it and plus I intended to stay with this city.

I silently slide sneakily into the window, coming out of the other end with a knife in my hands. If I have learned one thing from living in Ketterdam, it's that you can never be too prepared.

I stay close to the wall as I see someone roll down the rope-ladder. I grin to myself,

Right on time Inej.

I climb up the ladder without fear of falling down even if the ladder was just made out of rope. I get to the top and Inej offers me a hand and I take it.

The top floor is basically empty except for some Dime Lions henchmen that are laying around, dead or knocked out.

Then, I guess there is also the vault full of kruge.

I look around the room everyone is here except for-

Kaz.

"Where's Kaz?"

Matthias looks a bit uncomfortable and guilty as he shifts nervously on his two feet.

"He said he had to take care of something and to just go."

I sigh, well I know he isn't in danger... Yet. My heart is screaming for me to go after him, but it wouldn't look good for Dirtyhands or Nemesis. Knowing Kaz he's probably fine, he would just want me to open this vault I guess.

The fact that my soulmate mark isn't burning is probably also a clear sign that he's fine.

Get yourself together Y/n.

"Can we open the vault without him?"

The others look mildly surprised at my response (excluding Nina, and my sister).

"You might be able to do it, your one of the best lock pickers there is. Only second to Brekker." Nina states.

I bit my lip and start to walk over to the vault. I let my hand fall over the lock. I let it feel the certain gears and the parts that make up the lock.

The shank of the lock would be easy enough to undo with some man strength to help pull that open. Though that would be the last step - I need to stop thinking too far ahead.

It's a very simple lock that any petty thief could probably do in 32 seconds flat. Besides the fact that it was absolutely ginormous to fit over a fucking vault.

"Inej I'm going to need some help!" I yell across the room to my sister who is in the shadows on a look out, to make sure no ones coming here.

She comes and strolls over to stand beside me. I put my hand up the lock, and I grab one bar and I move it to the side but I hold it there with my hands.

"Can you find the bar to the left and pull it up once?"

Inej does and I hear a huge click! ring through the room.

"We should wait for Kaz till we open it." Inej states and I nod my head in agreement.

"So while we wait." Nina start's talking... Oh no, that can't be good. "We should maybe share the fact that Y/n is Kaz's second hand!"

Angry courses of what! come throughout the room.

"The fuck does Kaz think with putting you in all that danger!" Jesper yells and I see Matthias nod along with him.

"I'm already in danger most of the times I'm Inej's sister!"

"You should have told us!" Nina shoots back.

"You guys are really talking about this while were on a heist!" I shoot back.

My soulmate mark starts to tingle a bit but I ignore it, being that this conversation will most likely take a lot of energy.

"It still puts you in unnecessary danger." Inej and Wylan point out.

Fury rakes through my body. Who are they to tell me that's it's 'dangerous'?! I live in fucking Ketterdam!

"I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm not a doll! I can take care of myself! And you can't say anything because 60% percent of you guys don't even fucki- Ahhh!" A string of curse leave my mouth as I collapse against the vault.

"Y/n!"

To be continued...

Words 2480

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace

234 notes · View notes