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azure-firecracker · 2 months

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ATLA Live Action Episode 5: Overall Thoughts.

I think this is an unpopular opinion but I didn’t mind that everyone got trapped in the Spirit World this time. This show tends to do better at crafting new material than adapting the original’s material, largely due to the fact that anything they do to that material will most likely pale in comparison. This isn’t to say I think they should rewrite the whole plot, but it’s cool when they get to explore a totally new thing. I like the spirit world as a setting, and I like the “creepy place that none of the characters know how to deal with” trope so that in itself did work for me. I saw people annoyed that Wan Shi Tong was there but I didn’t really care one way or another (with the exception of wondering what they’ll do if they get a Book 2 bc I love The Library). I also saw people annoyed that Aang knew who Hei Bai was right away, but to me that was required for this new plot so again, that didn’t bother me.

On Aang: this episode is where the show’s tone shift really got to me. I like that this show was more willing to delve into Aang’s trauma and how tragic his backstory was: while the original dealt with it well, it had limitations due to its being a kids show. This version had an opportunity to explore it more and I’m glad it did. But this episode was where I started to miss the levity of original Aang. It felt like every line was about his destiny, his guilt, his need to be a hero, etc. etc. And this is great in small doses but it can’t be Aang’s (or anyone’s) whole character. Aang needs to feel like a person beyond the backstory, and in this episode he didn’t (and I know it’s writing not acting because Gordon acted the hell out of those lines as usual). Aang being the only one who could resist the fog felt plot armor-y to me but it’s whatever. I liked the further development of Aang and Gyatso’s relationship, they’re very sweet, BUT this is the billionth instance of the show taking something important Katara did (in this case telling Aang he couldn’t have stopped the Air Nomad genocide) and giving it to a male character. They need to stop doing that.

Katara has gone back to doing nothing and having things happen to her but that was true for everyone this episode so I’ll let it slide THIS TIME! Her flashback was well-done (both Kiawentiio and whoever plays young Katara DELIVERED on the acting). The change of having her mother die explicitly because of her bending, while dark, has potential for really interesting exploration in the future, and also sets up some parallels with Aang if they want to explore that. There are also some rather problematic aspects of it relative to her arc as a whole (explained in this awesome post), but in isolation I think it works as a writing choice.

Sokka’s backstory was also well done and I liked that they laid the foundations for where his insecurities come from. I saw some people saying Hakoda would never say that, but I don’t think he was characterized thoroughly enough in the original to make that call. I also think that he’s a minor enough character that they can make those changes without much of a consequence. I do, however, think they needed to switch Sokka and Katara’s flashbacks in terms of order, because Katara’s is objectively way worse but having Sokka’s after it makes it feel like it’s not and it’s just weird.

Zuko didn’t do a lot this episode but Dallas Liu continues to be great.

Highlight of the episode was definitely the Azula scenes for me (and yes this is definitely influenced by my bias since she’s my favorite character). I wasn’t sure how I felt about her nearly burning the trainer because she’s not a RAAAH ANGER character and I didn’t want them to make her one, but I thought about it and realized it made sense if it was more of an “I’m practicing and I can’t stop” thing. I decided to interpret it that way and give it the benefit of the doubt. Of course I loved the “You’re perfect” “It’s not good enough” exchange. It’s an echo of Azula’s book 2 intro but with a younger Azula who’s with her friends and doesn’t have to wear the same masks and hasn’t beaten all the insecurities out of herself yet. I like that this show is allowing her to show so many emotions right off the bat. I loved Azula as a villain in Book 2 but it felt like the original didn’t decide they wanted her to be more than that until mid book 3. This show wants her to be more layered right off the bat, and as someone who always advocates for acknowledging Azula’s depth I really appreciate that. I also loved the shots of her training and just being so frustrated with herself during Gyatso’s final monologue. The narration suited her well and it was something I always pictured her doing when I imagined her life in between Zuko’s banishment and Book 2. It felt very in character.

My overall impression was that not a lot happened in this episode. Like, almost nothing happened. They introduced a cool new setting which I think worked. They used the lack of plot to do some good character work, with varying degrees of success. The flashbacks were good, but the show needs to do more thinking on how those events shaped the characters beyond just having them be their trauma. The main trio’s dynamic did improve a little bit in the spirit world. Sokka and Katara both got to be snarky which was great, but I do still feel like that dynamic is lacking and I can’t put my finger on why. I think it’s serious tone because every time the three of them are together they’re talking about some massive thing. They’re never just…together. I appreciated that this episode had some together time, even if only a little. Azula was by far the highlight (for me) I hope I like her future scenes just as much. And here’s a reminder that anyone who hates on Lizzy Yu for not looking exactly like a cartoon character is not welcome on this blog.

I’ll give this episode an 8.4/10 (elevated because of the Azula scenes).

#atla stream of consciousness #natla #netflix atla #atla live action #avatar the last airbender #atla #aang #gyatso #katara #sokka #zuko

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thelikesoffinn · 5 months

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hello - hope you're doing great! I love your analysis, and I wanted to ask about something I've been thinking fanfic wise but also applicable to real life (I think).

So Astarion gets paired a lot with Tavs who also have tragic past experiences (hard to be at his level of tragedy, but some get close). Which is all well and good, cause I see how writing these characters and reading about them is cathartic to many, but I also see plot-wise, it makes it "easier" for him to connect with Tav in a way, kindred souls and all that.

My Tav's background is one of someone who either had a fairly good and regular life, and, if trauma occured, it's been healthily overcome. So at the beginning of the BG3 story she's actually at the end of her own initial "character" arc.

Now my issue is, can Astarion connect with someone who has no idea at all of what he went through? My idea is that's he'd infantilize her, or openly antagonise her (in his charming way) because she's got no right to understand (especially with how he thinks it's fine to be racist and hurt the weak in the first act).

And she'd be understanding and wanting to help and all, but how can people with no/little traumatic experiences connect with those who went through hell, even with the best intentions? It's a dynamic I'd like to explore, because I've seen it played in real life a few times.

Sorry for the poem!

Hello, flower! Thank you so much, I'm glad that you enjoyed the analysis ❤️

As for your question: Eh, I do see why that dynamic is a rather difficult one. People who've survived through a lot of traumata tend to be somewhat hesitant and guarded in front of those who had normal lives at the best of times, and we all know that Astarion rarely has a "best of times", especially early in the game.

Infantilising them is something I definitely see with him. He's the type to do that with anyone anyway, but especially so with those he considers "sheltered". And sheltered is likely something he inevitably will consider Tav, as that is often the case with those who experienced trauma.

Trauma tends to age and harden you, in a way, so oftentimes people who simply grew up normally, with normal ups and downs, are viewed as "sheltered" or "spoiled" by those who didn't, even if that wasn't necessarily the case. That label isn't used or assigned maliciously, and it's simply based on the fact that other people's "normal" seems like the very best to someone who had it worse.

I can also see a huge amount of antagonism, yes, but how it shows will depend on when your story is set.

Is it while he's still dependent on Tav? Then I think he'd try to refrain from being more antagonistic towards them than necessary, since he needs to stay on their good side. So, he'd likely stick with his base-line arseholeishness, if a bit more intense at times. You know, in a sense that you side eye him and wonder if he just actually insulted you or if he's still joking around.

But if he's not dependent on them? Oh boy. Yeah, very likely that he'd be extremely mean and Tav would definitely 100% know that he means everything he says, even when it's uttered with a smile. Think how he talks to the Gur hunter in act 1 because let's be honest…that was far from subtle.

Astarion as a whole doesn't take kindly to anyone prodding his weak spots, albeit he mellows a bit towards Tav over the course of the story, and if would be even worse with "sheltered" Tav. He would likely flip his shit really hard and become extremely cruel with them, staying on their good side be damned because how dare they prod where they have no business being?

It's something I've seen at work before, and let me tell you: It's never a pretty sight. Many people who experienced trauma usually don't want to hurt others - quite the contrary, a lot of them would rather sacrifice themselves before watching anyone else get hurt like they were - but that doesn't mean they're not good at it. Precisely because they're often so hypervigilant, they have a talent in picking out your weak spots and if you test them enough, oh boy. They'll hit them with such aim and grace, you'll find yourself reeling. And that's the super sweet and kind clients, not the Astarions.

Here it's important to mention that the things people say in those situations are rarely what they really believe. It's mostly is just a well aimed assassination of your soft spots to get you to back off and leave them be.

So "sheltered" Tav will have to be extremely careful regarding any sore spots if they don't want to be hit by the full force of protective-malice.

Does that mean Astarion and your Tav won't be able to bond? Aabsolutely not, but it will be a tad bit difficult because he'll likely take a lot longer to open up and their bond will have to be built entirely from scratch. The shared understanding of their trauma can’t function as a temporary foundation – temporary because a bond entirely based on [shared] trauma will eventually become instable, if not fortified by other things – so they’ll have to put in a lot of work to even get to having a solid foundation to build on.

I'll give you a bit of a general rundown on how I was taught to tackle clients like that, maybe any of that will be helpful for you!

So, firstly: "Sheltered" Tav will need to be careful and understanding and they'll have to be able to take a blow and live with it if they accidentally step to close too early.

Important to note: They'll have to be able to take a blow but they can't be too lenient either.

Astarion seems like a person who's attached to 'respect'. Not in the 'respect your elders' way, but in the sense that he treats those he respects a lot better than those he doesn't. It's the nobility’s definition of respect - some "deserve" it and some don't and who is who is entirely based on personal understanding - so it's very in line with his background.

So, while your Tav will need to be able to take a hit, they'll need to know when to call him out on his bullshit. If you let Astarion walk all over you, he will eventually lose all respect and then this is a lost cause. Don't let him push you around.

If he's being too cruel, don't be cruel back, but definitely call him out on it and let him know that he can always ask you to stop prodding but you will not stand around and let him insult you.

Be understanding, but don't be a doormat.

Then, in order to get someone to open up, you'll have to have a lot of patience. Don't demand anything, don't force anything. Every question you ask has to be careful and phrased in a way that won't corner them, which can be really difficult in casual conversation. So, mishaps can and will likely happen, which is great material for a story anyway, so that's great! (Not so great at work though, haha.)

In case of "sheltered" Tav, it's probably best if they wait for him to come to them. Listen when he rants, listen to the tiny things he mentions and if you ask questions, make sure they directly relate to what he's told you just then.

So, if he talks about Cazador essentially making him choose between eating putrid rats or getting beaten, a question like: "Did he do that a lot?" or "Was it always those two options?" could potentially be alright because the red string is easily visible for both parties. Astarion can tell why you would ask something like that and he can follow your line of thought easily.

But a question like: "What else did he do to you?" or "Did he do other things as well?" would probably have his defences going up. It's too broad, too unspecific, and how is that any of your business anyway? What is this, an interrogation? An interview so that you can ghost write his sad memoirs? Back off.

While a question like: "How exactly did those dinners go?" or "Beaten? How?" is too specific. You're practically asking him to relive a painful moment in great detail for your own "enjoyment". Why else would you want to know? Why else would you ask how exactly he'd been hurt and humiliated, if not for that? Maybe you were planning to do the same to him. He won't let you. The past is the past. Let. It. Rest.

So, as you can tell, it's basically playing question-hot-foot!

But even if your Tav should cross the lines in that regard every once in a while - it happens, every question is a gamble - it'll eventually be fine. The closer they get, the easier it will be to ask questions, because he'll realise that he can actually trust them.

The one word I would really really avoid - and I cannot stress this enough - is 'understand'. God never use it. Tav, omit it from your vocabulary, you'll never "understand" anything ever again!

"I understand what you went though was horrible, but/and/however…" - No, you really do not. You can't understand, can't even imagine what he's faced over the years so never pretend that you do.

"I won't pretend to understand what you went through, but I want to/you can trust me/I can still listen." - Always said with kindness, but that one really is nothing but an empty platitude, at best. Hearing someone say that they don't understand you so directly is never really encouraging either.

"I just want to understand you." - Great, but you don't need to know the barest parts of a person's soul to be able to understand them. If you can't do it without that, maybe you shouldn't. And, all in all, this phrasing of the last one feels really iffy anyway, personally speaking, because it has a very manipulative edge to it. 'Hey I'm just overstepping your boundaries because I want to know you and understand you better. It's all for you..." and blegh. I hate that one, but that might be totally personal so please feel entirely free to ignore this paragraph.

Anyway, as you can see…never "understand", even if it’s just meant to encourage him. Just don't. I've seen clients who asked to be transferred to a different social worker or ended up leaving completely because someone used one of those lines, so I'd really strongly advise against them.

Instead, opt for things like "I'll listen to whatever you want to say." or "Can you explain it to me?" because that way you're not lying to his face and you're leaving everything up to him. He gets to decide where this conversation goes and, more importantly, how far it goes. Not an interview, not an interrogation, but a conversation that he controls.

And well then, flower, that’s it! Of course, there’s a lot more to it, but we’d still be here by the time Baldur’s Gate 8 is released if I went over every tiny thing, but I hope this was enough of an overview to help you build your story 😊 If you end up sharing it, don’t be shy to let me know, I’d be excited to check it out because, as you said, it’s a really interesting dynamic that isn’t explored as much as it should be. It’s a difficult dynamic, but it is so rewarding to write, read and experience. I wish you all the best ♥

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldur's gate #bg3 tav #tav #astarion x tav #baldurs gate tav #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion romance #bg3 astarion #bg3 asks #astarion x reader #ascended astarion

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itgr · 17 days

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Early ROS season 3 Kodya thoughts (aka here's my excuse to ramble)

I'm only on episode 180. I have thoughts on a lot of things but rn I just wanna talk about Kodya?? Idk ever since we've seen him again in episode 159, he's been a lot more stoic and and standoffish than he used to be? (at least compared to his season 2 counterpart, which yeah he spent most of that outside his body but he wasn't this standoffish to Gyrus before). He's a lot more similar to his season 1 counterpart in some ways which I found interesting. Originally, I thought it would be a temporary thing just from the shock of seeing Gyrus again and recovering from the fact he genuinely thought they'd never meet again, but then he kind of stays that way and he's kind of snarky and defensive which I find interesting. I really like when characters are flawed or are tangibly impacted by things that have happened to them. Anyways here's like multiple reasons I headcanon (some of these are just straight up stated or heavily implied) there's such a big character shift (at least to me):

Um. Yeah he literally thought he'd never see his on and off boyfriend of several years who he literally fought so hard to keep around. That's going to fuck you up regardless of if it ended up not being true

^ Also I feel like losing Gyrus again definitely brought back some old pain and trauma from the time he, yknow, watched Gyrus lose himself over the course of years and eventually had to be the one to kill him ^^ so. YEAH (he has abandonment issues to me)

This is more of a minor point but we should talk about how fucky it would be to spend several years with people from the future and then be plopped back into your time period and expected to just. Keep existing like nothing happened and like you don't know at least hundreds of separate things and concepts that are, quite literally, ahead of your time

Look me in the eyes and tell me he didn't 100% face or see homophobia after returning to his time period. You know that would mess with him a bit (I find his defensiveness near Iro, while partially justified, really interesting? because it's the first time I can think of we get any implication that homophobia explicitly exists in the world of ROS <- which makes sense and it also makes sense to assume that the room of swords itself was probably pretty queer friendly because of the amount of different people there. Anyways Kodya's defensiveness near Iro just reads to me as someone anticipating homophobia because of firsthand experience with it)

Gyrus self deprecating about not as strong as Masiosare, who's essentially like if you took BB! Gyrus's inability to open up and ask for help and his tendencies to do morally fucked up shit for his version of the greater good and then maximised it(/hj), probably made Kodya feel worse. Like he already spent years watching Gyrus lose himself to those ideals and I feel like at this point, the amount of trust issues and general abandonment issues of having a partner who used to hide things from you constantly until it literally destroyed him, combined with that same partner now self deprecating and faintly implying he wants to be like that again, would 100% trigger the shit out of his trauma and probably make him feel like history's going to repeat itself

I don't know if this was intentional but (oversimplification) CPTSD symptoms tend to show up after the person's left whatever stressful environment they used to be in and it starts flaring up because the brain can't process or understand that its in a safe environment and is still in a very defensive protective mode even when it technically shouldn't be. Kodya's likely CPTSD from, yknow, EVERYTHING in the room of swords probably could've started flaring up because of the fact he finally managed to escape, which could also partially explain his mentioned thoughts of feeling cursed and like he'd never be happy before Gyrus showed up (it's a common thing to struggle to feel happy or safe after not having experienced either feeling for a long time)

In conclusion, Kodya Karevic is a well written mentally ill little guy who's literally done zero (0) wrong in his entire life/j. Jokes aside, I wanted an excuse to ramble and get my thoughts out and also just talk about how pleasantly surprising it is to have them actually acknowledge the flaws in Strawbarrow's relationship and show Kodya have tangible problems with trusting Gyrus again. Idk I really like how well and complexly they're written

#also before anyone asks the iro thinking gyrus is some guy in an insane heterosexual cheating polycule thing is the funniest joke ever #room of swords #ros #webtoon #kodya karevic #character analysis #<- eh? maybe? idk what classifies as that tbh #i do a bit of speaking <3 #liveblogging #<- in a way

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edoro · 2 years

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How much about Hunter's abuse do you think Belos's inner circle knew? It's obvious they knew some degree of it, but did they know only part of it or all? I imagine that it's kinda different for each one.

that's a good question! i do agree i think it varies, just depending on... how close they are, how observant they are, how much they care.

there are definitely parts of Hunter's abuse that largely take place behind closed doors (i mean, i have made my opinions about that pretty clear here (discussion of csa at those links)) - a lot of the one-on-one emotional manipulation does, and it seems like probably a lot of the physical abuse, too.

Belos strikes me as someone who is measured and judicious in his use of violence - he does get angry, sure, but i don't think he's helplessly or thoughtlessly lashing out at all, i think he very much knows exactly what he's doing when he does it.

but the signs are all there. like just for starters, Hunter is a child soldier, although they don't really tend to view that as a problem in this society.

all the evidence we see of how traumatized and isolated and brainwashed Hunter is throughout his episodes, well, that didn't spring up from nowhere, and his fellow teens aren't the only ones who see it. the adults know he doesn't have any friends. the adults know he doesn't have any kind of social media presence or leave the castle except for missions. the adults know he's overworked and exhausted, just look at him.

the adults know that he does what he's told. they see his loyalty, his fearful obedience. they see how absolutely desperate he is for someone else to validate his sense of worth, how he clings to the tiniest crumb of attention and all but begs any passing authority figure to tell him he's justified his own existence today.

they see the scars, the way he freezes and flinches, the way he reflexively defends Belos, the way he looks back on the grueling training with fondness.

there are so many signs that Hunter isn't well, that he's going through something terrible. and these people see him every day, they see how Belos treats and talks to him, they see how he responds to the people around him. s2e13, where he just crumbles in the face of Darius's disapproval and begs Darius to tell him how to earn his position? that's how he's been taught to interact with adults.

they see him getting "special favors from the Emperor" but they know what coming to the Emperor's personal attention means. they know that Belos is not a merciful man.

so, yeah, i mean, they might not know specifics, but it's pretty obvious that he's being abused. i tend to think different people respond to it in different ways.

Adrian clearly knew Hunter would be scared enough of Belos that he could weaponize it against him.

Kikimora and Lilith both hold obvious grudges against Hunter and see him as competition; i tend to imagine that Kiki projects any discomfort she may feel about his treatment onto him rather than Belos, while Lilith i tend to see as just erasing the fact that he's a child in her own mind, and seeing him as a peer whose treatment therefore isn't any better or worse than anyone else's.

Raine we see demonstrate concern for Hunter, briefly, but they can't act on it. they obviously care (and they were a teacher, so, i bet they recognize the signs of abuse and trauma more than a lot of the other coven heads might) but they're not willing to jeopardize their life's work as an insurrectionist to try to break cover and help him in any more personal way.

Darius is very interesting - i've gone into it a bit before, but i like how what seemed at first to be straightforward disgust at the nepotism seems, at least to me, to have quite a lot of like, learned helplessness behind it. i think Darius cares very much, and recognizes how wrong this situation is, but especially after the previous GG, doesn't feel like he can do anything - and, like Kikimora and Lilith, he takes all of that helpless fury and ends up projecting it onto Hunter and blaming Hunter for being traumatized and brainwashed.

the impression i get from him is that he wanted to hep, but didn't think he could, that there was no way he could reach Hunter or break through the programming, but as soon as he saw the tiniest sign that he might be able to, he went for it.

Terra is a terrifying sadist who has specifically targeted children before (her enduring fixation with Raine is very creepy to say the least) and also seems to be in tight with Belos, so i imagine she's probably very aware of how he treats Hunter, more than a lot of the other coven heads might be, and has absolutely no problem with it.

we don't really know much about any of the other ones, but i think it's safe to say that they have plenty of evidence in front of their faces about how this child is being treated, and that they've all chosen to at best ignore him and at worst actively make his life harder.

#belos has also gone to some effort to deliberately poison all of those relationships #as a way of keeping hunter isolated #so really it's just bad all around #hunter toh #the owl house #abuse

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rainbowcarousels · 1 year

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No need to apologize, a sudden essay was truly all I ever wanted 🥹 it does align quite perfectly doesn’t it? I mean sometimes it’s all about “reading between the lines” as Lestat once said, specially when it comes to characters who are not Lestat himself/the people closest to him at any given time or POV characters, and this is one of those instances where we’re given just enough to do that imo, it’s all there in the timelines like you said. “It just won't change the fact that he had a second chance to do it right this time with Daniel where he had failed before, to not be a blunt object seeking practical solutions and prove he can in fact take care of people without destroying them”, god this is so true, and I think it also ties back to him being a “failed experiment” in his maker’s eyes, and how he’d been conditioned in his mind (by fate, by circumstance) to repeat that pattern. Armand’s sense of identity in regards to who he is to Daniel is a huge thing too and I’ve always HC that at some point during their difficult years and then in their years apart, he probably rationalized it as him only being fit to be his lover but not his teacher in the blood (which of course represented yet another unforgivable failure).

“He's trying so hard in the modern age to make caregiver be a huge part of him and to be seen as someone who keeps his children safe and even if Daniel was safe at the time, I can't help but think it would bother him that his own firstborn had to be cared for by someone else and that maybe Lestat would be the only person he would really admit this to because he would be the one to understand it.” Yes! Reminds me of that great post by @monstersinthecosmos I think(!) that had me nodding along from start to finish where they mentioned (and I’m only paraphrasing lmao) how Trinity Gate, despite having being conceived as a safe place where people could all heal and come together as a family, also ends up being a place where Armand has to live up to a lot of expectations (the caretaker, the teacher, the protector), like he had to in the cult, and then the theater. And not only that but it would also serve as a constant reminder of how when it had mattered the most, with his own fledging, he was not able to do it. Lestat would totally understand Armand and never judge him for it, he’s “failed” in similar ways before and plays a similar role to Armand’s in the present (the only difference I think is the scale, Lestat has made more fledglings than one can count and Armand only has Daniel to dump all of his trauma on, bless) xoxo DA still sad asf but your meta is like chicken soup for the soul ❤️‍🩹

Absolutely all of this!! Lestat is not omnicient, even if sometimes it feels like he is and you have to remember you're a person removed from his stories.

Oooh yeah actually that is an excellent point, it makes it a little bit worse that it's Marius that takes care of Daniel and the whole idea of maybe Daniel would be considered a failed fledgling from Armand adds to the idea of him being a failed experiment himself. It's a generational trauma thing too, I think this is something Daniel is terrified of being seen as something Armand regrets and sees as a failure, but Armand trying to figure out who he is to people is such a big pattern in all of his identites and part of it definitely feels like it stems from feeling like he can't measure up to his previous self in the eyes of his own maker. Like he couldn't even get something that any back alley vampire made on a whim can do properly, that is a spiral waiting to happen even if it's not true.

Absolutely 100% agree that Armand could rationalise it that way, he does tend to seperate his identities and roles as a coping mechanism but I also think it's just another nail in the coffin of feeling like this is his failure. It would have been compounded by living with the day to day of Daniel when he was at his worst and probably wound have caused a knock on spiral which wouldn't have been fair to either of them, but it doesn't make it easier.

Trinity Gate, despite having being conceived as a safe place where people could all heal and come together as a family, also ends up being a place where Armand has to live up to a lot of expectations (the caretaker, the teacher, the protector), like he had to in the cult, and then the theater. And not only that but it would also serve as a constant reminder of how when it had mattered the most, with his own fledging, he was not able to do it.

This just punches me in the gut every time. I hadn't really thought about it in this context but you're right, the scale of it with Lestat and Armand being seen as community leaders in their own right really does echo each other and puts so much pressure on both of them to be more than themselves. They are roles and figureheads but that doesn't leave them with much space to explore their own traumas and identities in detail. Even in their own homes, it's not really about them.

Someone really needs to make a therapist for these folks, they really need to learn some ways to process what they're going through that isn't running away (Lestat) or trying to wear his reputation like armour to protect not only himself but his children (Armand). I think if you sat down and really interrogated why Armand feels the need to protect his own people so intensely, he's been losing them since he was a child and losing himself over and over at the same time and it's why I think it would bother him to have someone else do that for his child. It's become a part of how he sees himself so it shakes his very sense of identity and it wouldbe a fascinating thing to explore one day.

Thank you for soming in and letting me think about this stuff, I appreciate getting the chance to really look at it in detail!

#da anon #and now i'm sad again #i think it's part of the reason that once they're all at court i like to think of lestat running back to tg for weeks on end #it's a chance to just be him for a while and Prince Lestat and Armand's house is now quieter than it was #and Armand is slowly learning to let his guard down and be himself and access his emotions #I think it's why you see more of his outbursts in later books he's starting to really feel his feelings #and there's a lot of them #dealing with that and dealing with a child struggling to exist on their own would have been too much #at least at first #and i think armand knows that but can't help but get stuck in a cycle of failure spiral #he's still so young #but he feels so old and tired #bedpile to the rescue they're going to take a goddamn vacation and the world can fuck off for a bit #vc #answered

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darkkitty1208 · 1 year

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Thinking about what it would be like if Stephen meets Shuri. Wakanda Forever spoilers ahead.

I mean, they both share the trauma of losing siblings (like most in the MCU are lmao). To make it even better, (or worse. Depends on your definition of better and worse XD) there's also the fact that Ramonda died drowning like Donna did, too... As always I thought of scenarios and now I can't stop thinking about what it'd be like if they had a heart-to-heart and bonded through their grief.

What if one day an interdimensional attack happened in Wakanda and the sorcerers insisted to help as they were more experienced in dealing with the sort? Shuri doesn't strike me as the type to easily trust someone after what she's been through, so I guess it would make sense if she would refuse at first. Stephen could somehow convince her, or maybe Okoye would, or both of them. Point is, she would give in at the end and accept their offer.

Talokans could be involved but their presence doesn't change the whole idea. Although I think it will be inevitable anyway as the battle, in my imagination, will be in a body of water or wherever in Wakanda where water is present. You can sort of see where I'm going with this *wiggles eyesbrows*.

Stephen could bond with Shuri through their planning stage of the battle. Maybe he thinks that Shuri is incredibly talented for someone her age and grows respect for her. Shuri in turn sees a reflection of T'challa in Stephen at some point. Don't get me wrong, Stephen and T'challa are both incredibly different and complex characters, but what reminds you most of your sibling if not playful banter?

Okay. So then when the time comes, the creature breaches through the water, their defenses are up and everyone knows what they're doing. Everything goes according to plan for while, before at some point Shuri fell into the water, preferably injured or something so that she is mostly incapable of swimming back up, but before Namor or any of the other Talokans could save her, Stephen panics, drops whatever he was dealing with, and immediately dives in to save her.

He would mutter something like 'Oh god, Donna, you're safe, you're okay' in a small, panicked voice when he brings Shuri back to land, and Shuri would be conscious enough to half-hear it, half-process it, but is probably too busy trying to get her breath back to ask.

When the battle ends and the creature's successfully banished back to its realm, what's left is to fix the collateral damage and heal the wounded.

Shuri approaches Stephen as he tends to his own injuries, formally thanking him and the sorcerers for assisting them and help protect her people, and then just takes a moment to converse with him or something. At some point she brings up 'Donna', and something about her, something about that moment, just makes Stephen feel like it's safe to share to her about that. Maybe it's because he knew she wouldn't respond with pity but, in turn, with understanding. Maybe it's because of the tiredness after the battle that makes him feel more vulnerable. Maybe it's because he sees Donna in her, too.

So Stephen tells her about Donna, maybe even about Victor too. Shuri just looks at him for a moment and then asks him to come with her, and then bring him to the lake where she and her mother had sat that night in front of the fire.

Since burning funeral garments is out of the question here, she could just tell him to sit down and reminisce his time with his sibling(s). She could share about her own experience in grieving over her mother and brother, and Stephen would respond in kind -- with understanding.

So yeah. I think I sort of got carried away with the scenario a bit too much. XD Now that I think about it, MCU!Stephen lost Donna when she fell into ice, dammit, but ugh. Too late for that thought now.

#thank you for coming to my ridiculous ted talk #long post #this is just for fun and i likely wouldnt write it #doesnt mean nobody could! so feel free to use the idea if anyone wants to. although it is an admittedly shitty one so probably nobody would #i think id be delighted if anyone did though #prompt #mcu prompt #black panther #doctor strange #stephen strange #shuri #mcu shuri #kitty makes up scenarios #wakanda forever spoilers #wakanda forever

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dragonofthestone · 2 years

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general mental health related trigger warnings apply. feel free to include more or exclude those facts / test results that take too much time or don’t apply, you can check out this list for more personality-related quizzes to include!

Putting under cut because this is very long and also cause you know lots of potentially triggering shit so no one has to see it unless they choose to.

quick facts

diagnoses: none, It’s early 1900s even with their advancements at best he’s a ‘clumsy child’ and ‘weird’ or something. Modern (or even going off his mainverse) setting: Adhd and or autistic, ptsd, c-ptsd to definitly if only cause of what happened to his lil bro lab stuff aside, does Insomnia count?? I guess that’s more symptom, anxiety, quite likely depression to an extent. He’s got a lot going on okay. Also like being some where on the Ace/Aro spec probably would have been considered a disorder or something back then so lets throw that it too. triggers: Literally anything to do with doctors, hospitals, heavily medical stuff, anything that reminds him of the lab (Needles are big one), the smell of like antispectic/ that sterile clean smell, Alchemy- when/if used near and especially on him. Nope, nope never again. He will jump back fast and try to distance himself from it. Depending on who it is and how it’s done touch. Can’t stand anything snug around his neck- even his scarf is always, always pretty loose. BLINDFOLDS/anything that completely takes away his sight. Having lost part of his vision losing it all TERRIFIES him. Loud noises- like gun shots (Because heightened senses and animal instincts that keep you on edge are FUN ) positive coping skills: Pfft at best he might open up and talk to a friend but he hates worrying and bothering people soo.... negative coping skills: Trying to just ignore it all and hopes it goes away and just trying to bury it down, When alone and espcially if he hasn’t slept well his mind might spiral a bit (and then tries not to think about that either). Just puts on a smile and tells everyone it’s okay not wanting them to worry. attachment style: (Personally I’d say somewhere between Avoiding it and perhaps a bit clingy and very protective if he allows himself to get attached) Disorganized / Fearful-Avoidant love language: (Personal thoughts is all of the above but dependent on the person) Basically all of them- With the thing he loves the most is simple quality time and physical touch, touch is very very dependent on the person tho. Recieving gifts is his lowest love language which I can agree on he loves being given things but honestly he’d value the persons time more then any gift. Just having them in his life is enough for him. myers briggs / mbti: (Is that that weird letter one always confused me tbh - idk I know it’s one I’ve heard of and don’t think I’ve ever bothered with so)

history exploration

are their diagnoses formal ( via a doctor, therapist, etc. ) or informal ( self diagnosis, a hunch, unrealized, etc. )

At best it’s informal but honestly not all. Look his folks love him and his dad may be a doctor but like.. he’ll be the first to admit he doesn’t know much when it comes to psychology. Considering people think/thought he’s strange enough as it is perhaps it’s for the best- It would also involve Tim opening a massive can of worms he’s all but trying to ignore.

Besides it’s 1914 probably better off without it lest he get thrown in, if you excuse the phrase ‘the loony bin’ and probably have more horrendous test and things done on him only making the trauma worse.

have they ever been treated / medicated?

Nope- besides what ever was done to him like his fellow Chimera/ experiements but I don’t think that counts. And most regualr medicine doesn’t tend to work well with his bizzaro body anyway. Only thing that has somewhat been treated was his father managed to find something that could help with his Insomnia but it’s not perfect and doesn’t always work.

have they ever been hospitalized or treated on an inpatient basis?

Not happening. He’d fight tooth and nail even in a modern setting on going.

how old were they when they first started experiencing / realizing symptoms?

Realizing?? Does knowing that he’s different count?? He’s always known he doesn’t fit in and everyone thinks him... Odd. But uh call it deep denial

do they have a family history of mental illness?

Maybe?? Not that it’d matter for him as he’s not even blood related

how was mental health handled / discussed in the family?

I mean his dad tried to help best he could - although can’t say it was really talked about. Mistakes were definiley made (grandfather sure as hell was no help) even his folks realize there are things perhaps they could have handled better but not for lack of love.

what are their thoughts on mental health / their diagnosis?

Uhh, some combination of aware of it and that people are affected by these things (and he’s pretty open and happy to accept people as they are) but in some amount of denial that HE has these things/ if not fully unaware. Like anythting that happens he just considers his normal and doesn’t question it (and Being at the Nest has made him wonder if maybe he isn’t so weird, different or may have just enforced the idea of he’s weird but has fold people who are just as odd now so that’s okay )

in what ways has their diagnosis shaped their life or experiences?

Just a bundle of anxious nerves, terrified of being alone, forgotten. Of hurting anyone who gets close. Wants to be close to people of scared of getting close and losing them. Kept him from making friends, close connections.

symptoms

bold all that are present, italicize those that are resolved or in the history.

depression. anxiety. panic attacks. dissociation (maybe???). derealization. depersonalization. suicidal ideation. self harm. homicidal ideation. psychosis. auditory hallucinations . visual hallucinations. delusions. mania. hypomania. racing thoughts. hyperactivity (But less in a physical way and more mentally hyper active). attention difficulty. flashbacks. nightmares. hyperarousal. hypoarousal. hypersexuality. hyposexuality. psychopathy. risky behavior. catatonia. somatic / bodily concerns. mutism. phobia. agoraphobia. hoarding. obsessions. compulsions. body dysmorphia. hair picking. skin picking. amnesia. illness anxiety / hypochondria. sensory loss (does his loss of vision count?? idk). speech difficulty. comprehension difficulty. communication difficulty. tics. defiant behavior. irritable mood. vindictiveness. aggression. pyromania. kleptomania. paranoia. attention seeking. narcissism. avoidance. dependency. pica. rumination. food restriction. food binging. purging. soiling the bed. insomnia. fatigue. sexual dysfunction. delirium. developmental delays.

note that all of the above are, on their own, normative and typical aspects of human functioning. they become “symptoms” when they last longer than “normal” or when they pose a significant impact on someone’s life / functioning.

explanations / elaborations on any of the above symptoms

A lot of italicized stuff I either consider as maybe things (ideas I’d never considered but make sense given what he’s been through and stuff he already experiences. As well as a lot of things he dealt with in the past (but also may still crop up now and again in his adult life. Everything else you can almost guarantee stems from being “born” and for a time raised in a lab setting as well as his more recent uh stint there. Though some of it is just probably more naturally what he is but to any person would be seen as uh not normal. - The Homicidal thing- he’s a good guy would never actively hurt any one unless pushed but there’s definitely been moments where his mind has wandered the path of what if. He has all this strength now after all and they were the ones who wanted a monster in the first place so what if he... (I can promise he’d never act on it unless pushed and put a position where it was an option then... maybe..) If asked he’d probably deny it

Phobia: He has ALOT Most notably terrible Clausterphobia (as well as like doctors/needles/ being restrained/ loss of vision ect..)

Auditory Hallucinations: Well that gets complicated considering he frequently hears thye screams and wails of the damned animal souls used in his creation- so to anyone else it might come across as him having audittory hallucinations- that being said on rare occaisions he probably does/ has experienced actual hallucinations (but chalked it up to oh he was just imagining it or something)

Visual hallucination I’m letting stay in itallics cause honestly I just don’t know. Like I couldsee him having dealt with them but never really thought about that one - although given his whole host of other issues I mean not out of the realm of possibility

His Hyposexuality in part are probably just his ace/aro spec- obvs they aren’t the same I know and even if he got treatment for them he’d be just as ace/aro spec as before. But honestly yah never thought about it until now but that’s def something he’s got going on

Developemental delays and just anything to do with learning all relating back to him being a lab experiment and basically havbing a very oddly wired brain that trying it’s hardest to function as humanly as it can allow with the animal bits getting in the way. Just another piece of his messy confused puzzle.

The Sucidal/risky behaviour thing is a big iffy maybe?? Like he’s never thought about actually doing it but the thought of who would miss him if he disappeared or if he did this thing would anyone care? has crossed his mind. Espcially early on in his time at the Nest when he waws pretty convinced no one would really give a damn if something happened and might have been more wiling to do something stupid and consequences be damned

Psychosis- eh not frequent if he does have/show it. I’d say mostly might manifest after rather abrupt wake from a nightmare where for a bit his mind is rather muddled and sometimes has a hard time coming out of it

Not on the symptoms list but uh he’s got some questionable amnesia/memory issues as well. Like it’s been an always thing but his most recent trauma’s has kinda made it..worse

Most notably is uh for better or worse he doesn’t remember his little bro is actually uh dead.

Stolen Tagged in spirit by @bidotheuncanny

And just if you see it and haven’t done it consider yourself tagged (Never know who has or hasn’t been tagged you know and hate to be a bother)

#;dash games #Lab Report || about Tim #It's long and incase it could be like tirggering to anyone #gonna be honest for symptoms some of the itallicezed are maybe cause I just never thoguht about it but I could see it as something #he did or does deal with #This whole this is one big tw for a lot of triggering stuff #depression tw #doctor tw #needles tw #ptsd tw #suicide tw #might try some of the other quizzes later and post the results but I'll stick with that for noq #Got any further questions/curiousties pls feel free to send an ask #all caps tw

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poetsdepartment · 1 year

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my thoughts on taylor + joe’s breakup is underneath the cut bc i want to state them but don’t want others to have to read about them if they don’t want to

so i think it sounds just like a normal human breakup? perhaps the first normal breakup taylor has had wherein two people just realize their circumstances have caused them to no longer be compatible? i don’t disagree that the daily mail’s source might be right about the fact joe feels insecure dating taylor when his star is still rising... but can we blame him? i definitely couldn’t date someone with a star as big as taylor’s if mine was not, as well, bc that would also affect my self-esteem. it just means that they aren’t compatible and that’s ok. and of course this wasn’t a problem until tour began-- that makes total sense. it all checks out.

i also think it’s true that joe probably had less control over his schedule bc his star is still rising, whereas taylor is so popular she gets to call the shots with so much of her work. so joe not only has this potential and valid insecurity, but also can’t be there to see taylor as often bc he’s trying to fix that maybe by taking all the gigs he can, which unintentionally drives them apart. no matter how much power taylor has to make time for him, he doesn’t have the same, which only makes whatever other problems they are having worse.

i couldn’t believe having to be either of them in this situation. it sucks for joe bc he entered this relationship with taylor during a time her fame felt different than it does now and he had more time to get to know her as a person, not as a literal music legend. both are vital parts of her identity and both are things any of her partners needs to be able to tend to and work with in order for relationships to last. i’m sure he’s felt really blindsided and overwhelmed, which is terrible. meanwhile, taylor is finally in a really good place, as she deserves, and has the power and knowledge to make this work, but her partner can’t compensate bc of where he is at and bc of her star, which she shouldn’t have to give up, but likely thought he understood the gravity of, but didn’t.

at the end of the day, they are two people who broke up from what seems like circumstance, which is just so heartbreaking bc they obviously love each other for so many other reasons and had some false pretenses about what their lives could look like from how covid impacted joe’s perception of taylor’s fame, among other things, i’m sure. i’m just weirdly stoked that, for the first time, we’re seeing what seems like a pretty mutual beneficial break-up for taylor (not to mean it won’t be painful as hell) that didn’t involve any unbalanced power dynamics, toxicity, trauma, etc. (most of the drama is from tabloids and FANS y’all need to CHILL!!!!). the way their breakup was described as “undramatic” kind of encapsulates the strengths of the relationship as a whole, and i hope they can take all the lessons they have learned and bring them into whatever romances may lie ahead.

#taylor #taylor breakup #music

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hanzi83 · 1 year

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I Wanted to Write A Blog as I was Falling Asleep.

Whenever big events are promoted, I tend to have to memorize points for the podcast which never really goes the way I want it, since I am scatterbrained a lot of the time and then when I recap shit, I tend to add a bit of what the discourse is and sometimes writing shit down doesn’t always equal a good reading, especially if it is days after and I have gotten my frustration out, so I did want to vent about this shit in written form even though I kind of talked about it on podcast. But there is something more direct with writing it, instead of just consuming news and hot takes and then sporadically letting it out of my head at weird times at the night since I cannot sleep during regular hours, then I am left with accumulated mental stress from personal mental trauma that never goes away, plus the added bonus that everything is designed to just implode, and maybe people connected know where the future is headed, maybe on some level I might know from the “dream world” since it feels like in the dream society, shit is seeping out from there to the surface, and I figure maybe some advanced shit is being done mentally to give me the “confidence” to give out my predictions of the grandview, because on the surface, I don’t have secret knowledge nor do I know shit for a fact, but when I have seen how shit has played out, I feel in an overall sense I have been right about the trajectory where the world is going, especially with the world of entertainment, since that now has always had ties to political shit, but now it is like the 2 worlds have blended, and I think the actual entertainment and the products have become background noise because the real storylines are done for social media, and now the people who cover shit, and I include sports entertainment personalities who are just “random” accounts that are looking for gigs and to socially climb up. Most people are “shocked” by Vince returning and taking back power, it would not be a surprise to anyone if you didn’t always work hard for the last 20 plus years that this is a dumbed down villain, who doesn’t know what a burrito is, or he doesn’t know what anything outside of wrestling is, yet he hates wrestling. I feel like when you are at a powerful level, you know you are going to take L’s throughout your career, but you don’t know what kind of connections these people have, it doesn’t help that we make it seem like entertainment institutions abide by the same morale and rules that mom and pop shops abide why. It is a problem with all entertainment actually. I know I am an irrelevant podcast and blog and account, but I am still allowed to live, for right now at least, instead of letting me leave this planet since I have no interest in how further right shit is going, but who is gonna give a shit what I have to say. I think at this point, since important people in different entertainment sections focus on what I do, since they monitor and keep an eye on everyone, I think my shit will probably piss them off and then they have the power to reach the masses and get them even more infatuated with tropes that I dislike, and people who are compromised double down on their rhetoric, hell they have the ability to infect people close to you to buy into being elitist scumbags who want more power. I think the exploitation I had to deal with and people who used to be close have profited, and now as the years go on more, you are seeing them become worse, never admitting to any wrongdoing, and you hope they secretly read this shit so it wakes them up, but even they will rub my face in shit that they are more popular and they have had a history of trying to always take from me. It is not just a personal problem, every day I see more sports entertainment accounts become the worst versions of themselves and just be performative about the system, they need to hold onto their credibility when the jig is up about the entire sports entertainment shit that everyone is basically compromised. Even when you call out someone like Vince, it is controlled narratives that never dig deeper, only stuff that has circulated on internet chat rooms since the 90’s, and now those are coming true. I knew people were not really for the truth when they would focus on Vince solely and act like other people in that inner circle didn’t know anything about what Vince did or has done, when it goes so much further, especially when this industry is a mafia industry, like on surface Triple H has had shit he has covered up and people have spoke about it, so people hung onto this last grasp of hope that Vince was actually gone, and not that this has been a long con to solidify him as the ultimate villain, like other public figures and powerful people who now exist on social media for the corrupt shit they have done, with nothing happening to them because we are headed in an era where there will be a right leaning takeover of the world and some of the people who have done villainous shit and have political ties are now being exposed, because they did so in an era where it is close where they will never be held accountable, and it will be meant for the people to revolt.

So I was not shocked about the revelation of him being back. I always suspected and you can check the record on this from past streams or blogs etc, that I always felt that WWE and UFC always had a connection, there is this tactic I feel people like Vince or Howard Stern do, where they have a cult like entertainment program that has made them millions, but sooner or later they knew that there are people who hate them and will always be vocal about it, so if they used their power and resources to cosign something or have another project, it would be succeed to the masses because their names are stained, while they have a loyal following but in order for them to really be successful, they have to cosign shit under the table so people who enjoy the art of whatever they are doing can consume it and have a peace of mind that they are not consuming their shit, and you wouldn’t think so because you don’t see any of their stereotypical handprints on it, which is why the talking heads have to give you what you’re supposed to look out for to know they are involved with shit, the truth is you don’t know how smart these people are and that is not a compliment, I don’t see the words “smart” and “genius” as positive affirming words, they are neutral, because someone can be smart/genius and be the biggest piece of shit on the planet, but people can only hate villains if we reduce them to America’s dumbest criminal type villains who do comedic shit for the memes and nonstop engagement to be talked about. It feels like the shit we have consumed entertainment wise is manifested into becoming a real life reality show. I knew once Succession started, that it would be go to for the discourse because we are going to continue to live in an era where now every public figure in the political or media world will now have those similar dynamics, so we insist on looking at this shit by making up a reality show comedy version of the characters. And we love to think because we post on the internet that we are right about how these people are and expect people to think they are dangerous in some regard but then get mad at people in the wrestling media for not asking the right questions when bad faith actors know they are cogs in the system, like if someone like Vince is quite possibly someone who has committed atrocious acts, exploited people, may have covered up murder etc, again it is not proven officially but those things circulate online and they make enough documentaries where they want you to lean in that direction, then why doesn’t the villainous image you want for him ever include that he could be so dangerous that he could have people fucked with mentally and physically if they truly embarrassed them and asked a real question about the corruption, like if you have done evil shit and fucked up shit has been built upon in your industry then why can’t I assume you are a lot more dangerous than the shit advertised, like once someone lies about shit, people don’t believe them and I am supposed to believe he is only evil in this dumbed down way? But I hold MSM and alt media more accountable for not covering Vince’s shit, every affiliate of Trump got analyzed nonstop and were in the discourse to become caricatures, why didn’t any progressive media outlet “that is better than MSM” and if you don’t believe it, they will mention it every single time before they do their bullshit narratives with bullshit personalities, then why would you not even speculate on this wrestling to right wing politics pipeline that has been developed. You can’t say that is silly, look at how many pro wrestlers have run for office in some way, Big Dick Johnson is literally on Turning Point USA. Rick Steiner is on some school board and spewed anti trans shit, and WWE still has nothing to fucking say about it. They have him under a legends contract. It feels more people who have been let go from the company who have the same politics of the company are part of patriot groups, Q Anon, supporting anti trans rhetoric. Sometimes I wonder if it is supposed to be obvious that celebrities are now playing characters for social media and they will have different moments of rebranding since everything that exists, exists for documentaries, meaning the system will allow your mental and physical abuse go on if they can profit off it later on, like people are initiated into shit and we never focus on why people in the system, especially in entertainment are in these fucked up situations, but we insist on presenting them as regular people who live by regular rules.

So when I watched Raw, I knew discourse was happening but I was not aware of the discourse and “runsheet changes” that were being promoted until I caught up live when watching the show on DVR, and watching it in a bubble, it didn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary, despite people saying Triple H made shit better etc and some things got better but there are still watered down acts that have shit creative, even if there are some positive changes to some degree, but it seemed like a typical episode of Raw, then I saw the discourse and what was being presented, low morale, script changes, viral photos of the production team getting multiple notes, Seth being told during the break he was not gonna talk etc, it is like they script the discourse to make it more chaotic. For the first time in a while AEW shill are on top of the world, and thing is if this were 2 years ago, maybe they would have a leg to stand on but in the last year and half, they have showed they are not as organic or genuine, they bent over backwards for another billionaire and piled on people who they wanted to get trashed online, but they did it with edgelord rhetoric and cool aesthetic because they tweet about which people in the industry they want to fuck, but then when CM Punk “left” they forced their anti establishment rhetoric and analyzed the show and helped book discourse even if it meant undercutting the program and talent involved to spare the ego of a industry plant in Phil, that is just my opinion, but now that he is coming back, now suddenly they are pro AEW again because they are getting their way because they want to force rebooted attitude era fetish shit and they are not motivated in everyone becoming bigger or building bigger legacies, they want every big match given away every week because they benefit off the discourse, they don’t know shit about booking when attitude era and everything after is what they fucking consumed, people will say “That era made so much money” but the era where you built up to big matches with characters people were invested into, made a lot more money and had more people watching these big matches, you should be able to combine the good of all eras, but my point is that I don’t trust shill accounts that ruined other people’s lives, they would get the white supremacist trolls to shit on if if my opinions about their favorites were getting out of control, they can’t be as obvious about it because they need to punish me by making me irrelevant online so I give up and don’t tweet shit out, but because I am losing followers and no one interacts, I feel more motivated to put my thoughts out there, and they still get triggered even if they are getting their wish of my suppression and mental torment, where it is even affecting my personal life. Talk about people taking entertainment too seriously huh? Of course I can’t officially prove it right, and no one would believe me, but these people believe I should not even express this shit or vent out my frustrations with what this entertainment has done to people’s minds and it is gonna be the end of us. This is just wrestling, now amplify that between other entertainment, and now the political figures are just as much entertainment, we are fucking debating if AOC has a burner account that tweets out sexually explicit shit. I know I go off on tangents but all of this bullshit to basically say that I don’t even trust the anti WWE accounts because they limit internet shit all the time, whenever anyone says “WWE did good things when they were forced into making the decision because of us” like they really don’t know what they are doing, making the amount of money and having the amount of power they do, you really think they don’t know how to work people for real? I am just saying if you are gonna hate villains then hate them for the legit power they have, not this dumbed down bullshit. No matter what people think or say, other companies you watch, are permitted to being there, which is why I never gave a shit if I watched some of the WWE shit, because no matter what you are watching, there is WWE shit within it, every promotion has to do their tropes of being discourse company and it keeps repeating every era, and at this point being an internet fan is just as much pretentious as the “dumb marks” they tend to make fun of or they think they are better than. Like instead of hating these people they think it is the ultimate dunk to go “CAN YOU BELIEVE TRIPLE H CAME OUT AND SAID NOTHING WAS GONNA CHANGE THEN THERE WERE 15 FUCKING CHANGES TO THE PROGRAM LMAO” and then changes happened, like yeah that is pretty much the job of the villain now to say shit where the opposite is being said online which somehow become the outlet where everything is true apparently. That promo was so for the purpose of featuring that in a future documentary down the line, you want to know how I can tell even the “rebellious” talent shtick is a work, like now people are pretending that WWE would really take away someone’s Dana Brookes sign, because now being screwed over by your boss is a new character arch, not that they didn’t deal with anything bad but it feels like a new marketing trick, and it may have meant more 10 years ago, even 20 years ago, but now, it feels as watered down the product itself.

Now this is where TK is gonna look the billionaire baby face again, let me guess, he will bring in Jay White, he will bring back CM Punk, he will bring in Mercedes, and suddenly the complaints of the booking will go down even though there was nothing too bad about the booking the last 8 months, maybe some standard modern wrestling booking that might seem filler, but AEW didn’t have the best creative since their inception all the time, not everything was hitting, and I just feel they amplified the worked shit online and made it detrimental to their product and repeating the same talking points over and over and I think booking the product like shit to some degree with obvious booking errors, and the only compelling shit they could come up with the online discourse is the trope of “this person wants to leave” and if they do leave, TK probably gets his shills to discredit them and downplay them, in fact there were some unsavory rumors about what some female talents had to deal with, the shills helped cover that up from the discourse and yet they are some credible experts on this Vince shit. Instead of making the changes to the safety and other shit they know they can do, the system rather create another obvious situation where people have to then state the obvious, you can just book women properly, you are capable, but let me guess we are gonna dumb it down so Mercedes can come in and save it instead of just having a strong division and then the added bonus of her coming. It gets tiring being this invested in the discourse, and then look at the booking errors in the political world, it is good to see political analysts being disappointed with booking decisions, oh you didn’t the villain Trump in prison just yet like you have been promising, well wrestling fans have been dealing with the villains always winning in the end for the longest time, it was the attitude era when Trump did his political thing, like much how fans eventually got sick of Austin coming out for 5 different segments every week, it is the same deal with Trump, everything has been relating to him, and now people who were getting this high off this becoming the political discourse for the last several years, how much money was made from phony coverage from MSM and alt media over things that revolved around Trump, and now the those same attitude era tricks aren’t working as much so they need to get more ridiculous with the political storylines like how the Ruthless Aggression was. It feels like everything is designed to just implode and people are playing different roles to facilitate their part. Everyone is more concerned with becoming a scripted character and I have to dumb it down to be on their level because as sophisticated this shit seems on some level, people are constantly limiting the narratives of all this shit and don’t want to face the reality that your heroes and your favorite institutions are not on the up and up and they have more power and now the “experts online” who are controlled cogs will only call out shit to a certain point until they get their gigs and the power they want before showing you what kind of horrible pieces of shit they are. They make everything a fucking sports entertainment storyline, they think because they are more cynical it makes them more genuine and legit, they would not want to disclose they have been reduced to being the shit disturber that is allowed to be in the castle while pissing on the outside rather than being outside pissing in, they make it look like the opposite and then you have the overly positive ones who can’t wait to partake in acknowledging Roman Reigns at a press conference, some of these people who can pull off their social media character, because they get propped up at the top level all the time, they think they are much more interesting than they are, when they get on camera, it is clear there is a social media team that write their jokes etc, look at the comedy stylings of that libs of tiktok woman Raya who is now doing stuttering John level man on the street shit where she gets a confrontation with public figures etc, it doesn’t feel genuine and she doesn’t have the charisma to really pull it off but because she caters to the right wing and helped manufacture consent for more anti trans shit, so it is okay for her to be this comedic figure. And a lot of the right wing and post left accounts online are in the same category to me. It is clear who is allowed to be propped up and confident in what they say and do are permitted and protected people. I am glad I didn’t reduce myself to end up going to the far right, and you read my conspiracies 10 years ago, you would think I am a prime candidate to be someone duped in, trust me the system tried to find ways to lure me in that direction.

I waited for the last decade or so for Vince’s exposition and I can’t say I am into how they are laying out the creative of this, they had to book the guy who have a fucking shitty mushtache, that he probably smells like possum piss. It is not even real life anymore, and the closer we are getting to it and when it fully does show you what he is going to do and what he will become, I think I can maybe put this entire fandom behind me. I can’t stick around for another company becoming a discourse company and it is gonna just reboot and repeat shit and I don’t think I can handle another decade of that. I already get sick of official revisionist history and then the online revisionist history is out of control, and then you really don’t know what is the truth anymore, everything starts out underground but it turns out the underground is funded by the mainstream, it is like ECW basically, like something that is known as rebellious even though they were probably always funded by the WWE types, while the WWE/MSM types act like they don’t want it to exist even though they are gonna incorporate their shit into the product, then the handpicked ones from the underground get their MSM gigs and the others who won’t advance any further got sold a movement built up on lies and they will not be paid or get any protection from the system, it is basically the same cycle with a lot of the social media narratives, all these alt media hosts who want to play the role of Paul Heyman from the 90’s then end up being on Tucker Carlson’s show and rebranding their image and we will think they used to think they were rebels when they most likely are not. And it feels like the joke is on me that I have to constantly see and relive these tropes every decade that I still manage to live through. I know I will give in because more craziness is gonna happen because of this Endeavor deal with WWE. I somehow figured there would be connections with UFC since a lot of their characters now have pro wrestler characters, they planted those roots with someone like Brock going there, I always figured that when someone “leaves” WWE they are still part of the family, like if they are not supposed to succeed, they won’t get opportunities and will be blacklisted and have no support system, but since it is a mafia in my opinion, it is like the performers are always kicking up to Vince etc but they can’t officially be tied to WWE to succeed because if WWE cosigns Batista’s endeavors then people would despise him, but him having the image of going viral for criticizing the WWE will be seen as not giving a fuck. And when it continuously gets perpetuated in this narrative shit,. I even debated writing this and I am not even feeling it but I did waste time on this so I might as well publish it, but be forewarned that I will probably try to write another one where I am gonna end up repeating the same shit, and then I become part of the problem. It is hard to escape because there are people who get sent to entice me with dangling me to still continue to watch nonstop and my presence in the fandom is needed, yet they still continuously punish me for having my own narratives, or my own ideas and not dumbing it down and I am not playing by a script and you can tell which people do because once you start making a bigger point, they immediately start to show aggression because they hate that I made a good point that goes above their point and the bigger you are with status, people look at me as someone who is lower than them so the fact they are even being slightly nicer towards me, I am supposed to be so thankful because I am normally treated like shit. I am tired of having to be beaten mentally by people, and because entertainment has played a role in shaping people’s minds, like if I decided not to watch this shit, you have to deal with people who consume it and make it their entire personality who literally terrorize people with that shit, and since entertainment has political ties, it is like everything is trying to get a nonstop reaction from you and when this shit goes 24/7 and no time off from this, this is making us fucking insane, now add incentive of why people want to be propped up as a character, and you have more recipes for disasters, different cliques wondering why people act different and rebrand, like there aren’t gimmick changes on the horizon. It makes no fucking sense. More people want to be characters and all of it doesn’t have any fucking meaning to it.

I don’t know what the future is gonna be with this company or industry. I can make guesses, I wonder if it forces a revolution, do the elitists run amok and let us know how evil they are and they have no problem with it, because they will remain in power and it is like an NWO level thing going on, people say they are opposed to it and they need to stop the evil of Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, but the more the heels win and then more people in the system who see the heels winning and overcoming despite all of us condemning them, but then they end up joining the NWO and before you know it, we will get 6 or 7 incarnations of the thing, people will start to get amazed by the fact these villains are so evil, but they are functioning and thriving in the system better than before, it is easy for people to see this as a reason why it is better to join them than be against them, and it feels I keep seeing that more and more. It becomes disheartening and it makes me just say that I am ready to leave this place, I would say I have outgrown all of this, but I am 5’6. But it is getting to the point where I don’t want to care about any of this shit anymore but it is one of the last things I had in my life that has been constant in my life since 3 years old, I used to distract from my shitty existence, and nothing has changed, and now with the Stern element and what that did, and people I know being close with people in that industry, it is hard to get this out of my life when they have ensured that I will have to have face rubbed into shit. I am at the point where I don’t give a shit about vindication, you can do that when I am dead and exploit the shit. I don’t see a bright future head and i feel everyone is becoming a caricature of what they once were, it hurts more coming alt media figure heads because they made it seem like they are credible and calling out the system and then get mad if you expected more from them, it is like why root for anyone to make it if they are all gonna be corrupted and morally bankrupt, like entertainment and politics are nonstop liars showing they lie, and now I am supposed to root for more people to become liars, like if you have a superpower in convincing and manipulating people, why am I am not allowed to think they would use their superpowers for unethical shit? I am tired of it but my natural inclination is to vent then go back into being back in the thick of things, it is probably no one cares when I vent, because I get sucked back into this shit, and I wish I could find a way to program my mind not to ever care about this shit, but more shit will transpire. I will never be happy here. I need to fucking leave this planet as soon as possible. I don’t even get why people with power would let me remain here, you already took everything away from me mentally and ensured I will never have freedom, like I am already irrelevant and defeated, what more else do you want from me? Do I have to be alive to see people close to me turn into complete heels, it is not about bad enough I was put on the backburner and having to take mental abuse from people but now you want me at my already worst, and have me finally lose my fucking mind. I don’t see any way out of this, they would love for me to attempt suicide because the pain hurts so much mentally, but I know it would be a botched attempt and then I would be even more in their control, I am supposed to lose control, so they bring it back to Stern days so then people see me at the current state and go “Oh look he actually did lose his mind” because they would want that perpetuated and manifested. Anyways, this blog was not that great, but maybe I should write more not so great blogs and make my enemies read it and feel they wasted more time reading it and they will get angered, when some of you have boastful connections and aesthetic which should be fulfilling enough, this is one of those blogs that if you are creative and you’re worried if higher ups are impressed with it, this would shed all doubt that I might suck at this, you have to see the proof for yourself, you need to get your teacher friends on the horn and ask to grade it, this was not one of those blogs. I needed it to get out there. I don’t know why. Listen to the experts, I am a big dumb conspiracy guy rambling with run on sentences about some 80 year old billionaire in Vince and how he runs illuminati, well the wrestling one at least, I think I got bored halfway through, or am I doing a worked shoot to purposefully undercut it by making this a discourse blog and we are just gonna go in a loop nonstop for the next several years and decades. Maybe even centuries, I am passing out as I write this and I am gonna post it. Fuck it all to hell.

#Vince McMahon VinceMcMahon Trump WWE Hanzi 2023 Bipolar Coaster BipolarCoaster fandom entertainment

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gimme-mor · 3 years

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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

#elain archeron #elriel #acotar fandom #acotar: fandom critical

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madmaddyenby · 3 years

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/rp /dsmp

ok so- c!tommy. we are all aware he’s traumatized, and experiences ptsd from being in traumatic experiences, this is basically fact. while i’d like to talk how c!tommy experiences ptsd, i’d like to bring up a thing i haven’t seen mentioned a lot when it comes to c!tommy and his trauma- c-ptsd. also known as complex-ptsd. it occurs when someone experiences something traumatizing for a period of time.

[image description: A screenshot of text with the words “CPTSD stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is a mental health condition in which a person might experience intense PTSD symptoms that coincide with other mental issues. CPTSD occurs in people who have been subjected to on going traumatizing experiences”. end description]

which, as we know, the exile arc fits the description of “ongoing traumatizing experiences” pretty fucking well. the exile was basically just two weeks of trauma. for a lot of reasons too, there was dream abusing tommy, tommy being isolated, tommys own depression/suicidal thoughts/bad mindset in general. this would all be considered a ongoing traumatizing experience(s).

ptsd is very similar to c-ptsd in how it develops, but ptsd occurs after one singular traumatizing event . (by the way, the event doesnt have to be life or death, it could be something like witnessing or hearing about a shocking event!!!)

symptoms of c-ptsd overlap with ptsd a good lot of the time, due to them both being trauma disorders. however, there are a few differences. here r some symptoms of c-ptsd, alot of which are ptsd symptoms that alot ofpeople with c-ptsd experience as well

reliving the traumatic experience

avoiding certain situations

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

hyperarousal (jitteriness, being on alert, etc)

somatic symptoms (physical symptoms with no underlying cause)

lack of emotional regulation

change in consciousness

negative self-perception

difficulty with relationships

distorted reception of abuser

loss of system of meanings

now, i’ll go over which of these fit our boy c!tommy, and how they fit for some of them atleast. i will only be talking about the things that are a result from c-ptsd, but also c-ptsd works where it coincides with other mental illnesses a person has so. its also important to note that within a person these symptoms might not stay the same over time, and not everyone who has c-ptsd or ptsd is going to experience it the same. (so not talking abt how pain affects him after dying in the prison, though that is a clear sign of ptsd)

reliving the traumatic experience

tommy’s done this with exile a few times, when revisiting logstedshire, when he saw the craters in logstedshire, when visiting dream in prison, when during the disc finale dream dug the hole and told him to put his armour in, etc etc, he’s even described himself as being trembly in the fingers near plain biomes, while visting logsted he mentioned how shaky it made him to be there, and when he visited logsted one time he had an immediate reaction to seeing a hole in the ground that came off as him reliving it. flashbacks come in from sensations during a traumatic event, like sight, feeling, emotion, etc, etc. it seems like with these he’s experiencing more of a reliving the emotions kind of thing.

avoiding certain situations

i was originally not gonna include this one, but thinking about it, he kind of does in a way. this symptom also includes keeping yourself preoccupied to avoid thinking about it, which is something c!tommy seems to do alot. with focusing on building the hotel, and doing tasks, or grinding for supplies instead of actually thinking about it.

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

c!tommy uh. does this a lot. a lot of it stems from how during exile tommy was isolated and made to believe no one cared for him, and even if that wasn’t true c!tommy never really got much closure on that. hes not really trusting ppl that b4 were really close to him, tubbo n ranboo for example

lack of emotional regulation

this can also be described as uncontrollable feelings. this is the one i’ve wanted to talk about the most i think- because this is really fits c!tommy. he tends to lash out alot, for example burning the flower c!ranboo gave him, there are a bunch more examples of this that include him yelling at others, that one time when he spleefed c!jack

negative self-perception

yeah. theres a few examples of this one, the one that first comes to mind is that time during the green festival where he was talking about how he was worse than everyone he didn’t wanna be (including his abuser, c!dream...) . theres now when he was building his tower by the prison when he was saying he couldn’t use the cobble because it was too him, and people didnt like the cobble. alot of this i think comes from c!dream making him feel basically worthless in exile :(

difficulty with relationships

Yeah. um. Alot for this one!!! The first to come to mind is c!tubbo. c!tommy and c!tubbos relationship is very very wonky, especially considering recent events with tommy feeling like he is being replaced with c!ranboo. (which he isnt by the way! he just feels as though, which is a valid feeling for him to have :]) . another person that comes to mind is c!ranboo. he’s even mentioned how his and ranboos relationship goes back and forth quite alot. its not very surprising to see that he has difficulty with relationships especially considering a lot of the reason that the exile affected him so badly was because he felt so alone and was so isolated from his friends. another thing that comes to mind, is when he made c!sam sign that contract promising hat he’d be his best friend and protect him. theres most likely way more that can be said here, but this is the first stuff that comes to mind.

distorted reception of abuser

um... yeah. this one. this can also be described as , “ becoming preoccupied with the relationship between you and your abuser. It can also include preoccupation with revenge or giving your abuser complete power over your life. “ which is um. yeah. c!tommy. he’s mentioned how whenever he’s around c!dream he feels like hes conditioned to be his friend (which. yea . he was .). right after he left logstedshire this was very very prominent, he was the biggest c!dream apologist around (/j), saying things like “dream didnt do anything wrong” and even explaining how he wasnt sure about things when it comes to c!dream, that his mind became flip floppy whenever he thought about him. right now, hes focused on getting back at c!dream, not fully for revenge, mainly for his friends and how he doesnt want c!dream to go around killing and reviving everyone, but the point still stands. (this all makes me extra sad because he had gone to the prison the second time in the first place to get closure :(( )

loss of system of meanings

Systems of meaning refer to your religion or beliefs about the world. This can also refer to getting a strong sense of hopelessness or despair about the world, which as of late mainly c!tommy seems to have. mainly referencing in his stream where he visited dreams bunker, he was asking what the point was of finding things that made him happy if dream was just going to get out the prison and destroy it. theres also a few things that also go with this, in one stream while he burnt down ponks lemon tree for sam nook he said "thats still decaying, but yknow, arent we all." and that one time when he gave that hotel invitation to c!techno he was like “ahahha we could die tomorrow anyway”

its also important to note that, “Any type of long-term trauma, over several months or years, can lead to CPTSD. However, it seems to appear frequently in people who’ve been abused by someone who was supposed to be their caregiver or protector. “ Which is.. fairly accurate in c!tommy’s situation. c!dream might’ve not been a caregiver or protector necessarily but he was still someone that was looking after him yknow?

there are most likely more things than what i layed out that show that c!tommy most likely also has cptsd, however this is just the stuff that i thought up :] add to the post if you’d like to!

(also this isn’t saying that c!tommy doesnt have ptsd, he had both ptsd and c-ptsd. also i am not an expert about ptsd, cptsd, or mental health in general, if i got any information wrong let me know)

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sokkastyles · 3 years

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Abused kids are often not aware of or have trouble regulating their own emotions but tend to, conversely, be hyper aware of and tapped into the emotions of others. This is a survival mechanism in people who grow up with an abusive parent, because any sudden changes in the mood of the parent could indicate danger. See the scenes of Zuko when he is with Ozai, particularly in "The Awakening" and in the flashback to the war meeting in "The Phoenix King," when Zuko carefully measures his responses to his father's praise, because even accepting praise is dangerous and could be a trap.

Although Zuko is often oblivious in social interactions, he actually shows a pretty keen insight when it comes to mediating and understanding what the others need once he joins the gaang. He figures out that the loss of his firebending is connected to his change of coat, he helps Aang overcome his fear of fire at the same time he overcomes his own mental blocks with regard to his element, and he realizes that Sokka will go on a foolhardy mission to rescue his father no matter how much Zuko warns him that it's dangerous, so he resolves to go with him. Particularly in "The Southern Raiders" he pretty astutely figures out that the source of Katara's anger was her unresolved feelings about her mother's murder, and knew how to help her. He also shows keen insight into what Katara needs. Aang, though he means well, responds to Katara with moralizing that just makes her angrier and more determined to go her own way. Zuko offers her the means and lets her lead the way, and defends her to Aang after Katara had made it clear she did not agree with Aang. Zuko, in fact, gets angry at Aang on Katara's behalf, and interestingly, Katara, the person who regularly told off anyone who ever said a bad word to Aang and who, a few episodes ago, threatened to kill Zuko himself if he ever hurt Aang, says nothing in response to Zuko’s sarcastic words to Aang, only thanks Aang for understanding in a tone that implies that she doesn’t think Aang understands at all.

Zuko also seems to be aware of the tension between Katara and Aang at the end of the episode, as he purposefully leaves Katara on Ember Island and goes to speak to Aang himself about what happened when they confronted Yon Rha. This implies not only that Zuko knew Katara needed space to process her feelings, but that he knew that Aang and Katara would need time away from each other after the angry way they parted, and it also implies that Zuko wanted to explain Katara's perspective to Aang, fearing that Aang would misunderstand. Aang actually misunderstands anyway, wrongly assuming that Katara had forgiven Yon Rha, and Katara angrily tells him that she will never forgive her mother's murderer, but does forgive Zuko.

Zuko tells Aang that he was right about Katara, although that is contradicted by what Katara just said and the events of the episode. I know some people theorize that this was a result of a lack of unity in the writing, but I also don't think it's out of character for Zuko to say this, even though he also ultimately disagrees with Aang's stance on violence. Zuko is again playing a mediator role and playing both sides a bit, because the episode positions him between Aang and Katara, but he also leaves Aang with a challenge to his moral absolutism.

So I don't think it's a stretch to assume that in the very next episode, Zuko was also picking up on some tension between Aang and Katara when he sat between them. I'm not sure he knows about Aang's romantic feelings for Katara - although he would when he hears his actor on stage call Katara "the Avatar's girl" and sees Aang nod. But he does seem to pick up on Aang's irritation being about more than just a taken seat, as he responds with unprompted anger. Zuko also takes note of Aang’s increasing anger throughout the play, with a concerned expression on his face.

Remember what I said about abused kids being hypersensitive to the changing moods of others? It might be that, or Zuko might be feeling anxious about his role in the play and feeling like he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, or it might be that Zuko is hyper aware of the conflict between Katara and Aang carried over from the last episode to this one.

Actually, this shot is particularly interesting because the rest of the gaang is laughing at the portrayal of Toph, including Katara, until Toph shows that she’s pleased by the play’s portrayal of her. Then we see Katara frown, her attention shifting to Aang.

Katara is unhappy that her attempt to get even with Toph backfired, then when she notices Aang as the camera pans to her left, she looks even more unhappy. Then we see the shot above of Zuko looking at Aang with clear concern over the situation. I’m pretty sure that Zuko is aware that something is going on between Katara and Aang at this point. Especially since Aang’s anger at being played by a girl (which is made worse by Toph’s happiness at being played by a boy) is linked to his insecurity about his relationship with Katara, and the play keeps making jokes about it, meant for us to feel sorry for Aang for being put in the “little brother” zone.

I think Zuko was generally anxious going into the play. You can see when they walk in that he has his hood pulled up, to hide his face, because he's aware there's a chance someone will recognize him. So even before the play starts, with its incriminating and humiliating portrayal of him, he is probably already on alert and wants to draw as little attention to himself as possible. Aang's outburst is the kind of thing that would draw attention, and Zuko tries to minimize the attention by insisting that Aang just sit next to him. Zuko also reacts with defensive anger, as he is wont to do when he is anxious or upset, which of course would have the opposite effect from drawing attention away from them. But Aang acquiesces in frustration, and Katara, interestingly, notices the dispute, but just like when Zuko defended her to Aang in "The Southern Raiders," says nothing. Katara also is facing away, fidgety, and looks unhappy while the confrontation is going on. This is also consistent with (and probably contributed to) the way Katara reacts to Aang’s pushiness and accusations later on.

Zuko spends much of the back part of season three physically close to Katara, which is a visual way for the animators to show how close they have grown. It’s not necessarily an indication of romantic Zutara, although there is nothing wrong with interpreting it that way, and I find it hilarious how threatened some people are by shippers gushing over the idea that he wanted to sit next to her, particularly in this episode because this episode actually intentionally plays up the “love triangle” for the purposes of getting the audience to sympathize with Aang and root for him to “get the girl.” Regardless of whether we interpret it in a romantic context, I think it is a good indication of how Zuko feels about Katara once he has gotten her forgiveness. Given Zuko’s social ineptitude, it would make sense that he would be likely to want to stick close to the people he felt closest to, especially in situations where he is surrounded by potentially hostile strangers. Witness his behavior in “The Beach,” where he spent most of the time awkwardly glued to Mai’s side and it was when he was separated from Mai at the party that he ran into trouble with the other partygoers, who make fun of him. That might explain why Zuko, although he comes from the opposite direction when they enter the theater as everyone else does, walks all the way down the end of the aisle to sit next to Katara.

It might also explain why he wants to sit in between Katara and Aang, as these are the two people who he now feels closest to. It also is very likely that he is subconsciously picking up on the tension between Katara and Aang, which comes to a head later in this very episode. It’s worth noting that Zuko is often positioned physically between Katara and Aang throughout this episode, which is meant to communicate to the audience Aang’s anxiety over Katara not returning his feelings (and Zuko plays an indirect part in that, or at least, his stage actor does).

Zuko is also positioned narratively between Aang and Katara as a mediator and comfort to Katara after her fight with Aang in the very next episode, “The Phoenix King,” in which Zuko tells Katara to let Aang figure things out for himself when he runs away after yelling at Katara.

So no, I don’t think the deliberate positioning of Zuko in between Aang and Katara is a coincidence, nor is it “lol Zuko is clueless!” I’m actually very tired of seeing people talk about how clueless Zuko is, especially since a lot of his reactions come from trauma. Even if Zuko didn’t pick up on Aang’s romantic feelings towards Katara he very obviously picks up on and reacts to and interacts with the dynamic between them. And it’s very telling that certain fans will complain about the “infantilization” of Zuko when it’s traits that make him seem sympathetic, but then talk about a traumatized abuse survivor as if they’re completely incompetent.

#zuko #katara #zutara #anti kataang #atla meta #abuse cw #the ember island players #the southern raiders #the phoenix king

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padawanlost · 3 years

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So I was on Quora the other day, and someone speculated that insecurity was at the root of Anakin's arrogance and apparent cockiness. I thought this through and it makes so much sense. He felt insecure in his place as a Jedi and had this constant need to prove himself. What's your take?

Personally, I’ve never seen Anakin as arrogant. I think he was *perceived* as arrogant by the people around him but, internally, Anakin was also driven by insecurity (not egotism).

Because he was so insecure in a place where he knew he wasn’t accepted as he was, he overcompensated. It’s a very common behavior: I’ll try harder to prove myself. And because he was so powerful, his attempt to prove himself worthy was viewed as an attempt to show off.

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn. And they stopped him training the Chosen One. Qui-Gon hadn’t cared what the Jedi Council said. He’d trained him anyway, a Padawan in all but name. Why am I thinking of all this now? Haven’t I put it behind me? Haven’t I had enough bad memories since then to take their place? Haven’t I vindicated Master Qui-Gon? [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

Anakin enjoyed praise from Obi-Wan, but often became sullen when he was reprimanded. Obi-Wan assured him that he himself had been frequently reminded by Qui-Gon to be more mindful of the Force, but somehow even the slightest criticism managed to leave Anakin feeling stung. First they tell me to do my best, then they tell me I’ve gone too far! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Because Anakin had not been trained since infancy at the Temple like nearly all other Padawans, various Jedi Masters accepted the fact that he lacked the discipline of his fellow students. They were less accepting, however, of his arrogant behavior when he demonstrated his abilities. I’m more powerful with the Force than some of my instructors, Anakin thought, and they know it! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Despite Anakin’s desire to distance himself from the slave he had once been, he was unable, or unwilling, to shed the other aspects that had defined him on Tatooine. He still dreamed of glory, still craved adventure, and never lost his appetite for high-speed thrills and the desire to prove himself in competition. THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

What evidence to we truly have that Anakin was arrogance beyond people calling him that? And considering most of his peers and superiors didn’t take much time to get to truly know him, I’d say their option can be considered biased:

Anakin was liked by the other students, but he had no close friends. He was not loved. Obi-Wan told himself that Anakin’s gifts naturally set him apart. But in his heart, he grieved for Anakin’s loneliness. JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE WAY OF THE APPRENTICE]

Just when Anakin thought he’d passed that elusive finishing line that said adult, experienced, seen it all, he realized he was still twenty, Jedi or not, and the wounded boy in him still rose to the surface—provoked into angry violence, scared of abandonment, and still in need of approval. KAREN TRAVISS [STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS NOVELIZATION]

[Obi-Wan] knew, glancing at his Padawan’s eager face, that Anakin meant well from the bottom of his heart. If Obi-Wan saw a shadow on that heart, he knew it would pain his Padawan to know it. In many ways, Anakin was still a boy. A wounded, loving, anxious boy with great gifts he did not fully understand. Yet he was also a young man, close to maturity, who could do great harm. To others, yes. To himself, most of all JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

“I just…” Anakin stopped. He took a ragged breath. “I thought you would be proud of me.” I am proud of you. Obi-Wan wanted to say the words. They were true. He was proud of so much in Anakin. But now was not the time to tell him that. Or was it? JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

Fixing broken machines was like a meditation. Fixing broken machines was an antidote to every pain, every loss, every fear, every defeat. Fixing broken machines kept him from going mad. CLONE WARS GAMBIT: STEALTH

This doesn’t sound like some who thinks that highly of himself.

“Master…,” he said hesitantly, “I know I’ve… disappointed you in these past few days. I have been arrogant. I have… not been very appreciative of your training, and what’s worse, of your friendship. I offer no excuse, Master. My frustration with the Council… I know that none of it is your fault, and I apologize. For all of it. Your friendship means everything to me.”

Interestingly enough, Obi-wan says it best:

You are very observant, Ferus, but you must accept that I know him better than you,” Obi-Wan said carefully. “Anakin can be arrogant. I know that. But he is also learning and growing. He is respectful of his great power. He does not abuse it. He is younger than you, but he has seen much injustice, many terrible things. I do not think it so wrong that he wants to change things. You must understand that it isn’t ambition that drives him. It is compassion. OBI-WAN KENOBI IN STAR WARS – JEDI QUEST: THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD BY JUDE WATSON

Yes. Anakin can act arrogantly. We all can. It’s part of being human and flawed. but that doesn’t mean that was ALL Anakin was. More often than not, Anakin was motivated by fear, love, kindess and, yes, even hate.

Taking them, she looked up at him and shook her head, even though it still ached. “It’s odd. You’re nothing like I expected.” “Why?” he said, perching on the edge of the nearby chair. “What did you expect?” “I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” That made him smile. “As opposed to what?” She swallowed the pain-tabs, washing them down with a mouthful of water. “Oh. You know. The HoloNet news—it portrays as you as this—this—heroic warrior. Larger than life. Charging into battle, lightsaber flashing. Scourge of the Separatists. That kind of thing.” She shrugged. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Because of Hayden’s Anakin being do disliked and, of course, because of the TCW wonky characterization everyday we are seeing more and more people embracing the idea of arrogant idiot Anakin. even if such characterization is not supported by the movies, the lore and basic common sense.

People use Obi-wan’s words in AOTC against Anakin but the truth is, as shown above, Obi-wan himself later recognizes that Anakin is not arrogant (even if he sometimes act that away). Besides, using AOTC to show Anakin’s arrogance doesn’t make much sense because of Hayden’s acting. Anakin doesn’t act like some arrogant prick for most of the movie. if anything, AOTC is a great of example of Anakin’s submissive and insecure behavior.

At last, let’s not forget that the same people calling Anakin arrogant were also facing the same criticism:

“But he still has much to learn, Master,” Obi-Wan explained. “His skills have made him … well, arrogant.” “Yes, yes,” Yoda agreed. “It’s a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves, they are. Even the older, more experienced Jedi.” [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

People seem to forget that Anakin was in his early 20s when he ‘died’. Show me a teenager or a young adult who’ve never acted arrogantly and i’ll show you a liar. So why is Anakin the only one getting shit for that?

So, yeah, i agree. Anakin wasn’t motivated by arrogance. He was motivated by fear and insecurity, byproducts of his childhood trauma and years of grooming and emotional neglect.

#ask #englishlady #anakin skywalker #sw meta #meta: anakin #txt

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dangermousie · 3 years

Text

CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I��ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

#cnovel #meatbun doesn't eat meat #case file compendium

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