#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

austonwithan-o · 10 months

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“Honey you’re my medicine”- Ethan Edwards

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Bro idk this just popped into my head…

TW: HEAVY HEAVY DEPRESSION IN THIS. LIKE DON’T READ IF DEPRESSION TRIGGERS YOU. A lot of this was channeled from my experiences with depression -Drugs -alcohol

Lowkey inspired by the song People by Libianca

Proofread once!!

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I guess your depression wasn’t as obvious as you thought. You were life of the party, the light of everyone’s life. That’s why when you decided to take the second semester of your sophomore year off to focus on your mental health people were absolutely shocked. You were bombarded by texts asking if you were okay, if people could come over to hangout and see how you were doing but your phone was on dnd. For a whole 3 weeks. Your absence hit Ethan the hardest mostly because he was your best friend since you were toddlers. His sadness turned to anger which turned to guilt.

Why didn’t you tell him how you were feeling?

What could he have done to help?

When did you start feeling like this?

He should have saw the signs earlier. The first semester at Umich you went to almost every frat party with him and hardly ever drank but one night you got absolutely shit faced. One night turned into 2 which turned into 3 which turned into 4 and so on. Ethan always took care of you after always driving you back to your dorm if he didn’t drink or called an Uber for you both, helping you into pajamas and taking your makeup off and putting you to bed. Sometimes one of the other hockey boys helped him as well just to make sure you were extra safe getting home. He just saw it as you finally getting over the freshman nerves and letting loose. He started getting concerned after you started mixing in some marijuana. He never knew you to get into drugs but shrugged it off when you told him to stop worrying and that you were just having fun. Being away from home, your family problems and dealing with the growing pains just got to be too much to handle. Everyone in your life felt so distant and so out of place. The feeling of being a burden and opening up to people made you pull away from them. You started to cope with alcohol and weed. Being on a college campus it was all pretty accessible. Part of you thought the change of behavior might open a position for Ethan to ask you what was going on but he only egged you on and invited the behavior. The developing feelings for him came crashing down on you faster than you could have imagined and you tried pushing them away not wanting to ruin the friendship you had but as fast as they came they imploded when rumors of him and a girl hooking up on the down low surfaced. It sent you over the edge in a way you never thought would or could ever happen. You decided to confront Ethan about it one night in his Jeep on your weekly late night drive and he just laughed about it asking, “what are you jealous or something?” He obviously meant no harm but you didn’t know how to respond. A few minutes later you asked him to drop you off at your dorm since you were tired. When you got back you got so crossed you didn’t even remember the conversation the next morning. Just the feeling of a bad hangover and migraine overtook you which you would take any day over whatever he made you feel that night.

You stopped going to classes after a while and switched to online because you could “focus on other things outside of school” is what you told Ethan. He again shrugged it off.

You wondered how long it would take him to approach you and ask what was going on. You were screaming for his attention, your cries for help weren’t loud enough to him. He carried on with the parties always inviting you but you turned them down time and time again.

It was 11 o’clock at night. The meals your mom prepared for you sat on your nightstand untouched and cold. A slight breeze blew through your open window and the sound of a car pulling into your driveway merely background noise didn’t even phase you.

A light knock on the door went unheard by you. Your mom answering the door,

“Please Mrs. Y/l/n I need to see her. I can’t handle another week of this.” Ethan’s eyes were bloodshot. His hair wet from a shower. He was holding a hoodie. A hoodie you always stole from him when you went out. He kept it in his Jeep just for you.

“Ethan she won’t talk. I’ve tried to talk to her. She has an appointment tomorrow. Trust me honey I’ve tried everything.” Your mom was slightly distraught by the boy showing up so late but he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Please let me try and talk to her. I need to see her I’m begging you.” He pleaded with the woman. A sigh of defeat left her mouth as she stepped aside. He didn’t hesitate. Making his way up your stairs he stood outside your door slightly letting guilt and fear take over his body.

Maybe I shouldn’t? He thought but his hand hand already opened the door.

There you laid in your bed. Your room a mess and the smell of food filled his senses. You opened your eyes laying your sight on the boy standing in the doorway. Normally you’d be embarrassed letting someone that close to you look at you and your space in such a messy state but you couldn’t even muster up a greeting. Tears started streaming down your face but no noise or movement came from your small figure.

It broke him seeing you in such a vulnerable state. He made his way over putting the hoodie on your dresser and crawled over you pulling the covers off you slowly, slipping in and pulling them over you both. His arms snaked around your waist pulling you into him. You weren’t even wearing pants, your t-shirt clad body pressed against his. The smell of you and the lack of a shower in days filled his senses only making his heartbreak more. God what happened to you? Is all he could think.

“Ethan,” You managed to croak out.

“Y/n I’m here. You don’t have to talk. You don’t have to do anything. I’m just here to lay with you.” He whispered into your ear placing his face in the crook of your neck slightly kissing it sending a shiver down your spine.

“Ethan I’m sorry.” Is all you could say, the tears ran from your eyes like a river soaking your bedsheets once again.

“Don’t ever apologize y/n. You’ve done nothing wrong just let me help you in whatever way I can.” Ethan felt the tears coming down his face, they soaked your hair.

“I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stay there. I don’t know why but everyone. Everything it just got too much. The rumors of you. Everything.” Your voice was small and hard to understand over the sobs.

“Baby I know. I’m so sorry the world hasn’t been kind to you. You don’t deserve this. I’m always gonna be here for you, me, Marky, Rut, Lukey, Seamus. All of us have been worried sick over you. We all love you so much y/n God I wish you could feel that. The rumors are rumors y/n you know I would never do anything like that and especially never to you. I love you too much to ever do that. I’m yours and will only ever be yours.” His voice was shaky but he kept it together. He didn’t want his crying to overwhelm you to much.

You turned around burying your face into his chest making him hold you closer. His hand traveled down your back stopping at the small of it massaging light circles. His other one wrapped around your head lightly massaging it too. You felt an overwhelming sense of warmth cascading through your body at his touch. You needed your best friend and even more he needed you.

“Ethan I love you.”

“My girl I love you even more. More than you’ll ever know.” He planted a kiss on your head. The sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep and the warmth and knowledge of your safety in his arms sent him into sleep as well. Both broken in different ways but both healing with the same medicine. Each other.

#nhl hockey #hockey #hockey players #nhl #nhl players #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #hockey imagine #ethan edwards #umich x reader #umich boys #umich imagine #umich fic #ethan edwards smut #ethan edwards imagine #ethan edwards x y/n #ethan edwards x reader

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stuckinapril · 6 months

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What do you think is the best way for people with attention problems to memorize things is? Struggling rn

i list a ton of learning techniques in this ask! my biggest advice is to frame your study sessions around focus. for example, early into my uni career i was studying full-time and also a part-time chemistry ta. i would go home and then start studying, literally after 12 hours of being on campus and juggling friends / lab research / classes / orgs / tutoring. obviously that meant i was tired as fuck and my focus was in the ground. as i gained academic maturity i kind of switched it up--instead of studying after getting home, i study when i'm most focused. i'm at my most focused from 4 am to 12 pm (huge morning person), so i frequently wake up at that time and just grind for hours.

apply that concept to you. when are you at peak focus? is it late at night (11 pm - 3 am), is it early in the morning (4 am - 8 am), or is it later? when are you most energized? when is there the least amount of disruptions? that's when i'd pencil the study blocks in. studying super early has been magic for me bc most people are asleep at that time (no distractions), my circadian rhythm loves the early morning hours, and having hours of studying in already when it's not even 10 am yet just starts off my day right. that's why i avoid being on my phone in the mornings--that's when i'm at peak focus.

as for the attention deficit itself--for that i break a huge task into tiny, minuscule, unintimidating subtasks. if you're studying a chapter, tell yourself that for the next 30 minutes you will read two paragraphs. then take a break. then spend the next 30 minutes reading the 2 paragraphs after that (or whatever amount of information that wouldn't overwhelm you). rinse and repeat, and before you know it you will have finished the chapter. you don't need to be reading it in one fell swoop. progress still counts as progress so long as you're advancing, however small the increments are. and that's actually also effective bc it allows you to really hone in on the details one bit of information at a time, rather than skimming a whole chapter and not absorbing much.

#ask #study tips

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ironstrange1991 · 1 year

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Forbidden (Part 4)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Before setting out on a dangerous mission, Stephen decides to settle some things with Y/n. When they leave, she is forced to deal with the emptiness that remains in their place and the fear that they may never return.

Word Count: 4,5k

Warnings: Slight ansgt and mention of dead parents.

SERIES MASTERLIST

It was Friday and you were tired. You hadn't slept the night and classes were being particularly grueling. You spent practically the whole morning in a kind of torpor and if someone asked you, you wouldn't know the subject of the classes you attended.

When the bell finally rang releasing you for lunch, you grabbed your things and left without bothering to wait for your classmates. You wanted to disappear from that place, you wanted to lock yourself in your room and throw yourself on the bed and, if possible, be swallowed by it.

There was a mental weariness in you that seemed to be increasing over the last few days. The fact that the Avengers were on the verge of leaving for another mission was also keeping you awake at night, which didn't help to keep you awake during classes. Everything seemed wrong and you didn't quite understand why and that was starting to worry you. You even tried sounding Natasha out about the mission, but as usual she didn't say more than a few words.

"The less you know the better, is what Tony says" That's basically what she said. You tried to argue that you cared about him and that you knew Strange would participate in the mission which indicated that the situation was dangerous.

Natasha just smirked "Are you worried about Doctor Strange's safety? I guarantee he can take care of himself." And quickly she changed the subject. Yes, you cared about Stephen, but not as much as you cared about Tony. Though he forgot about it sometimes, he was just a mortal man.

You smile feeling a pinch of longing. Even though you spoke almost every day, it wasn't the same and it had been weeks since you'd seen each other. "I just wish Tony didn't have to go on these missions anymore. I mean, hasn't he done a lot already? Damn, he deserves some peace."

You were striding towards the exit and talking on the phone with MJ. In fact, she just listened to all your fruitless whining and just gave a few "uh hums" to say she was paying attention. You sighed feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with all this stuff."

She quickly cut you off "You are not bothering me, you know you can tell me anything. Besides, I don't have any news anyway, so you can tell me whatever you want, I'm a good listener."

MJ agreed "Yes he deserves it, but honestly I think he doesn't stop because he can't stay behind watching his friends go, but Y/n, you know Stark can handle it. He is a super badass. Remember?"

You sighed. I smile in your lips. Tony was indeed a super badass man, a genius, a man who used his inteligence to outcome all his limits. You were so proud of him. "Yeah I know."

Your cell phone vibrated with a message and you asked MJ to wait. You read the message getting even more irritated than you already was. "Fuck"

"Whats wrong?" MJ asked.

"Happy won't be able to pick me up" You replied stepping firmly and praying for a taxi. "All I want is to go home. Is that too much to ask?"

MJ seemed to weigh her next words "You haven't talked to Strange, have you?" You shook your head "I haven't seen him since the last time we spoke. That tragic and pathetic situation I already told you about a thousand times."

"I can understand why you're so irritated. Why don't you look for him before he leaves for the mission? Talk to him, y/n."

"I can't." You shook your had. It wasn't like the idea hadn't crossed your mind a few times. "MJ, I can't. Every time I try to force myself to work up the courage to do it I get this feeling..."

"What feeling?"

You sighed, clutching your bag close to your body and squeezing yourself through a group of students who were blocking your way at the exit gate. "That if he had any real interest in me he would seek me out..."

That's when you saw him. He was wearing jeans and a gray shirt, sunglasses, both hands in his pockets. It was impossible for him not to stand out among other people, yet no one seemed to notice him. He was standing there looking in your direction and you stopped abruptly "Shit"

"What is it?" MJ asked realizing something was wrong.

"He is here."

"Who? Strange? What is he doing there?..."

"I'll call you later."

"No, wait..." You hung up the phone and suppressed a smile that played at the corners of your lips and forced yourself to walk towards him.

You managed to control your emotions the best you could. "Looking for someone, doctor?"

He gave you that sideways smile that took your breath away "Young lady, early twenties, tattoos, beautiful smile. Have you seen her?" He blinked at you with an open smile in his lips.

"Well I think you just found her."

"Luck me, then" He pointed to the phone in your hand "Stark?"

You shook your head "MJ"

He nodded "How are things in Boston?"

You put your cell phone in your pocket "Everything's great, from what she told me."

He nodded "Good. Can we talk or are you going to yell at me again?"

You shrugged "It depends. Are you going to act like a jerk again?"

He shook his head chuckling dryly "Fair enough. Well I plan to take you for lunch."

You couldn't help but smile, but internally you were screaming at yourself that this wasn't a date. "I just missed my ride so I will accept it. Thank you."

"Great" Stephen replied and the two of you walked away around the building. He took you to a small restaurant just a few blocks from the uni. You sat at the farthest table you could find and were attended by a waitress who seemed overly excited about serving Doctor Strange.

The waitress took the order without even looking at you, she only had eyes for Stephen and honestly you couldn't blame her. "Would you like something to drink, sir?"

"How can I help you?" She asked with an exaggerated smile.

Stephen glared at you "Hungry?"

You nodded shyly and he thought for a moment "I'll have the usual" He replied and then waited for you to make up your mind.

You just pretended to look at the menu, your nervousness made it impossible to read the words so you pointed to the first thing that caught your eye "I'll have the salmon with asparagus and orange juice, please."

Stephen smiles sympathetically "Just water for me, thanks."

She wrote it down and left reluctantly.

You shook your head smiling. It was hard to imagine both Stephen and Wong discussing about food or any other normal thing, honestly.

You eyebrown raised "She really didn't want to leave. Probably a fan of yours." He chuckled "jealous?" You pouted "Maybe. Looks like you come here quite often." You added.

He shook his head "I've come a few times, Wong likes their tuna melt sandwich and sometimes he makes me come get it for him."

"How is the band going? America told me your songs are playing nonstop on the radio. Got a record label?"

You shook your head "Not really. Just released the songs online. Fans did the rest and the radio are just following the flow."

"I should congratulate you, anyway. You deserve this. You are very good."

You felt your cheeks getting hot with the compliment. "So you don’t listen to the radio? I must confess I always imagined you listening to my music and being forced to think about me. I'm disappointed."

He chuckled "Don't be. I preffer to listen to them on Spotify. They are good. But I preffer to listen them live."

You smile smugly "Thank you. I could do a secret show just for you if you asked me to. You could choose the songs."

He exhaled dramatically "That's very tempting."

You chucked "We can schedule it, but it may take some time. Things are moving very fast. I'm happy of course, but I'm having a hard time organizing my time between the band and college."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to handle both."

"I'm trying, but college has been taking a lot of my time."

Stephen shook his head sympathetic "By the way, how's your dissertation going?"

You grinned proudly "Almost finished."

He smiles back at you "Glad to hear that." He thought for a moment frowning "America also mentioned something about a magazine photoshoot..."

You bit the inside of your cheek. You didn't imagine that America talked so much about you. Not that you minded.

"Tony doesn't think it's a good idea. In his words: it's a little too suggestive."

Stephen raised an eyebrow, curiosity in his eyes. "May I ask what that is about?"

"It's a tattoo magazine. They want to interview me about the band and talk about the relation between music and tattoos. You know I love both so I'm tempted to take the offer. Plus I always end up in the tabloids anyway."

Stephen gave a small laugh "I'm sorry for the last time"

You shrugged "Don't be. I don't really care. Besides, you saved me. No need to apologize. Anyway, I'm still thinking about it."

He nodded "Well, I'm sure you take the best decision. You're very smart and seem to be getting everything right."

You agreed smiling shyly. It occured to you that you liked when he praised you. You shook your had feeling your hands sweaty.

Stephen look at you more serious now "Y/n... I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you that day. I was scared of what happened... well, what could have happened. I know it wasn't your fault, I'm sorry if I made it sound like I thought otherwise." He held both hands together on top of the table, his blue eyes seemed to see right through you and just for a minute you wished you could read his mind.

You shook your head trying to formulate the words when you noticed that he expected an answer "It's okay, I guess I can't stay mad at you anyway, even if I try very hard."

He managed not to let on how much those words pleased him, but you could see the corner of his lips curling up in a cocky smirk. "It's good to know that."

You felt your face blushing "I apologize for the way I yelled at you, even if you were being an idiot, we shouldn't yell at older people."

He grinned. "Why I always get this feeling you like how old I am?"

You had to look away to hide the angry red on your cheeks. He didn't let that go unnoticed "I'm right then."

You exhaled slowly as you realized you were holding your breath. "It's not fair..." You said looking back at him "You know exactly what you do to me, doctor."

You could have sworn his eyes got darker and he seemed to force himself to swallow his smile. "Y/n..."

You stared at your hands waiting like a child who's said something wrong.

"Stark asked me why I was at the nightclub that night..."

You looked at him in surprise "What did you say?

"I didn't know what to say, so I lied." He confessed.

You bit the inside of your cheek "Stephen..."

"Look, you got mad at me because I said I liked you as a friend, but the truth is, I only said that because I didn't know what to say. Of course I like you and I care about you, but ...To be honest I don't know what you are to me. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you and believe me, I know how inappropriate it is."

You felt your heart racing in your chest at those words and to some extent you were grateful to be interrupted by the waitress who approached bringing your food.

"Would you like anything else?" She asked, but her eyes were locked on Stephen.

"No, we're fine. Thank you" He said dryly not amused for being interrupted. Her smile seemed to crumble "Excuse me"

"Why?" You asked quietly as if you didn't even want him to hear the question. But he listened and shook his head nervously and then looked away "I'm leaving with the Avengers tomorrow morning. I couldn't leave without talking to you first."

You didn't miss the fact that he didn't answer your question.

"Tony told me it's something big."

"Yes, it is."

You didn't want to talk about it. You didn't want to think that once again Tony was heading towards another extremely dangerous enemy.

"I hate this." You confessed "I hate seeing you leave and having to be left behind waiting not knowing if you'll come home."

Stephen nodded, "I imagine it will be hard to see Stark go. You must worry a lot about him."

You shook your head and looked out the window to hide that there were tears in your eyes. "I still remember the day Tony told me my parents had died. Every time Tony goes on a mission I wonder who will come to tell me if he dies. He's all I have."

Stephen rolled his lips and reached out and touched your hand. "I won't let anything happen to him. I promise."

You shook your head "It's not just him. I worry about everyone. "

He smiles reassuringly "I'll try to keep everyone safe then."

"Stephen... I'm also talking about you. Who's going to protect you while you're out there protecting everyone else?"

He squeezed your hand in his. His hand was shaking but you didn't mind it. It was warm and his touch felt so good. "I'll be fine."

"America needs you, you know that right? You're pretty much all she has."

"I know. I'll be fine." He repeated. You weren't convinced, but didn't say anything else.

"She made me promise I wouldn't leave without talking to you first" Stephen said smiling "She loves you like a sister. Can't stand to see us arguing apparently." He sighed "Things are always so simple for her."

You looked at your food on your plate, but there was a nervousness inside you that made your stomach flutter. You took a sip of juice. "Things can be simple, Stephen, if we want them to be"

He looked straight to your eyes . "I don't think Stark would think that way."

That was the answer you needed but not exactly the one you wanted.

"You know I'm a legal adult, right? You turned to dust for five years, but I grew up, Stephen. I am not fifteen anymore."

He took a good look around as if he wanted to make sure there was no one around to hear what you were saying and then stared at you with a certain gleam in his eyes you've never seen before. "Trust me, sweetheart, I'm well aware of that."

...

When you left the restaurant there was a weight on Stephen's chest that made each step heavier than the last. He could barely breathe suffocated by everything he wanted to say to you and couldn't. Somehow he felt that this might be his only chance and that feeling seemed to crush his heart in his chest.

You walked slowly in heavy silence until you reached a taxi stand. He wanted to portal you home, but didn't want to risk arousing even more suspicion.

"Will I see you again before you leave for the mission?"

He shoved both hands in his pocket "I don’t think so." You nodded going towards the taxi driver, but he grabbed your arm. He didn't want you to leave. Fuck Stephen, say something "I really enjoyed our time together."

You smiled. You had a beautiful smile. A sad one, but beautiful anyway. "Me too"

Before he could even react, you reached up on tiptoe and kissed him dangerously close to his lips. Just a peck, but enough to send heat through his entire body.

You smirked "For good lucky." You turned around talking to the taxi driver "Stark Tower, please" He watched you getting in the car and the taxi driver starting it.

"Y/n..." He called tapping on the rear window. You opened it and he touched your face. "I will miss you. I always do"

You smiled and then you left. Stephen stood there watching the car get lost in the traffic.

…

When you entered the Tower, you were greeted by the usual gale of people rushing back and forth, hurried about their tasks. Happy yelling and giving orders and the whole gang of superheroes planning the mission.

You took the elevator up to the comfort of your room.

You kicked off your shoes and threw yourself on the bed feeling a mixture of excitement and sadness at the same time. You've never talked so openly with Stephen before and now you had to let him go on a mission that as far as you were allowed to know was something big and dangerous. How could you stand that?

Your phone vibrated in your pocket. There were a million messages from MJ and a million from Mike. You guys were supposed to rehearse with the band at night, but at that point you couldn't care less. Everything seemed so meaningless.

You didn't realize you'd fallen asleep until you woke up to a warm hand on your arm "Hey darling, wake up. We're leaving."

You opened your eyes to find Tony sitting next to you on the bed. "I thought you would go tomorrow morning." You sat down leaning on the headboard. "I fell asleep. I'm sorry..."

"Change of plans." He smiles fondly at you "Don't worry, I've been working all day."

You hugged your knees. There was so much you wanted to tell him, but the words seemed small compared to all your fears and besides, you knew he knew exactly how you felt.

"Pepper told me she plans to spend a few days in Malibu. You should go with her. I don't like to think of you two here alone."

You shook your head "We're not alone. Happy is staying here with us and besides I have class and I also need to finish my dissertation. My deadline is in two weeks."

He nodded "Right. I had forgotten." He frowned "Where were you after class? Happy said you got here past 3pm."

You shrugged "Having lunch with a friend" You bit the inside of your cheek deciding whether to say the friend was Stephen or not. In the end you decided not to say anything.

"Good." He was silent for a moment.

"Tony..." You held out your hand and he took it in his "Be careful. Please. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

He shook his head "I'll be fine, don't worry." He sighed heavily and got up then bent to place a kiss on the top of your head "See you in a few days."

You nodded and he was leaving when he turned on his heel "About that photoshoot... I think you should do it if it's something you really want."

You smiled "Pepper made you say this, didn't she?"

He smirked "Yeah, you got me, but she's right. She's always right."

You nodded and he left closing the door behind him.

…

The days passed slowly. Each of them without news of Tony and Stephen was like an open wound in your throbbing chest. But it wasn't just the two you missed, you missed the movement in the Tower, Natasha and Yelena teasing you about your crush on Stephen, Sam and Steve talking in the hallways, Thor's laughter.

Without the Avengers, the Tower felt barren, cold, and frightening. You suddenly felt like the girl you were when your parents had the accident. Scared and alone.

You knew you weren't the only one who was feeling that way. Pepper also became increasingly sullen when unable to talk to Tony. He had promised her that he would try to communicate through the intergalactic communicators that he and Bruce had created, but something wasn't working as expected because every time Pepper tried to contact him, she was answered only by anguished silence. She tried to seem strong and confident around Morgan, but when the two of you were alone she looked tired and very sad.

You've tried to stick to your routine as best you could. College, the band practices, but at the end of the day it all seemed so insignificant and no matter how big the Tower was, the walls seemed to shrink in, trapping you inside just like the bluebird you had tattooed on your chest.

In those moments you found some comfort in music, spent hours at the piano composing and when you realized in a week you had a new song ready. Sad, painful, true, but when you tried to write the lyrics of you found that no words could describe the feeling that melody brought to your heart, so you gave up trying to force words where they didn't belong. You named the song Departure and you played it incessantly most nights trying to convince yourself that everything was going to be okay while at the same time being terrified that everything you knew might fall apart.

One week soon became two. Two weeks without news. You couldn't remember when was the last time Tony took this long on a mission. It was driving you crazy.

It was Monday morning and you weren't feeling well enough to go to class so you decided to stay home. America called asking if you had any news and it broke your heart to have to give the same answer. Again and again.

"He'll come back, won't he? Wong said he always does." America's voice was shaky as if she was trying not to cry.

You wanted to scream but you swallowed all your fears and so you replied "Of course he will come back. Everyone will come back, they are the Avengers."

America exhaled heavily, "He always says he's not an Avenger."

You smiled to yourself "Of course not. He thinks he's too good to be an Avenger."

America laughs softly and you were happy to get a laugh out of her.

"I need to go now, Y/n, Wong is calling me back to practice."

"Okay, go there little sorcerer."

You hung up the phone realizing that the magazine photoshoot was scheduled for that afternoon. You groaned throwing yourself on the bed and thinking of a million excuses not to go, but decided it would be for the best if you just went, after all it would be a distraction.

You were finishing getting ready when Pepper knocked discreetly on the door and then came in and sat at the foot of the bed watching you in silence.

"Did something happen?" You asked and she shook her head "Nothing happened. That's the problem."

You freaked out thinking Pepper was going to start crying, but she sighed and then said what was there to say "I asked Happy to take you to the photoshoot. I don't want you out there alone when everyone knows Iron Man isn't around." She sighed.

You shook your head "He'll be back Pepper. They all will." You finished getting dressed "I just spoke to America. She was very worried. We're all freaking out here."

Pepper nodded "She's such a sweet girl. Stephen is lucky to have her by his side. He always said there was no one to miss him in case something happened. Now that's not true."

You stared at Pepper nibbling the inside of your cheek. You didn't know Stephen said that. "America is not the only one that cares about him." You said without thinking and Pepper stared at you in surprise.

"Y/n..."

You grabbed your purse "I'm late" You said leaving in a hurry but she followed right behind you "Y/n, what do you mean by that?"

You entered the elevator "I really need to go" You said pressing the button and was glad when the door closed.

You were right about the photoshoot being a distraction. You felt very comfortable with Karen, the photographer and all her ideas matched perfectly with yours. At the end of the day, you were impressed with the results.

"Have you scheduled the interview yet?" Karen asked.

You shook your head "It will be next week."

"I'm sure it will be amazing . You'll be on the cover of the next issue, people will freak out."

"Hey Mike"

You smiled shyly. You were freaking out a little bit about the result. Though you liked it, perhaps the photos were a little... too sexy?

You thanked Karen and said goodbye. It was night when you left the studio and your cell phone was ringing incessantly.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you all afternoon!"

You sighed rolling your eyes "I told you yesterday that I had a photoshoot today."

He nodded "True, I completely forgot. Suzanne had some problems at home and won't be able to rehearse so I canceled it."

Thank god. "She is fine?"

"Yes, she said it was no big deal."

You left the building and Happy opened the car door for you to get in "Good. Thanks for letting me know. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Y/n…" Mike cleared his throat "I was thinking... perhaps we could go out for a drink…just the two of us."

You sighed heavily. You always knew Mike had a crush on you, but you never thought he'd work up the courage to ask you out. Anyway, now that it happened you didn't really know what to say.

"I'm not in the mood. Perhaps another day"

He clearly didn't like the answer. "It's Strange, isn't it?" I saw the way you two were looking at each other at your godfather’s party. He is too old for you. That's disgusting, Y/n."

"No Mike, it's not Strange, and even if it was that's none of your business. But if you want to know, it's because of you. I don't feel like going out with you. That's all."

Happy looked at you in the rearview mirror with a low whistle.

Mike was speechless probably digesting your words.

"Bye Mike, see you tomorrow."

You hung up the phone before he could answer. Happy kept staring at you.

"Not a word about this with your boss." Happy raised a hand in surrender "My boss is on another planet, maybe another galaxy."

"I'm talking about Pepper.

He nodded. "So this Mike likes you."

You stared at him in disbelief "Happy... just drive. I want to get home."

...

It was Friday and you had just left your last class of the day when the phone vibrated with a video call from MJ.

"Hey, what's up? Still no news?" She tried to hide her own concern, but with each passing day she managed to hide less.

You shook your head "It's been three weeks, I don't remember any mission that took that long."

MJ sighed "Peter is worried too. He's been upset since Stark told him to stay, but now it's more than that."

"I need them back MJ, I don't know what I'm going to do if something happens to them. To all of them."

MJ forced another smile "They'll be back. Soon we'll all be together celebrating at another Stark party and then maybe you work up the courage to tell Strange you're in love with him."

"By now I doubt he doesn't know, but thrust me, if they come back, when they come back that’s exactly what I’ll do."

MJ's eyes widened "What exactly happened at that lunch you had? You never quite told me."

You opened your mouth to answer, but you found Happy leaning against the car right in front of the exit gate. "Can we talk about this later? I'm going home. I'll call you when I'm safely in my room."

She made a face, but accepted "I'll be waiting. Bye."

Happy opened the door for you to enter. The drive home was silent. Even Happy was apprehensive now that the days continued to pass and you still had no news. Lacking anything to say, he preferred to remain silent for what you were grateful.

When you arrived at the Tower you went straight to your room and threw yourself on the bed. You hadn't realized how tired you were until then. You haven’t sleept well for days. You only realized that you had fallen asleep when you heard Pepper's voice.

"Y/n...wake up. They're back."

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

DOCTOR STRANGE MASTERLIST

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@thealleydog @anadlockfan @pinkthick

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chvnnie · 2 years

Text

Be My Escape

bang chan x reader

part 4/8 - come on fuck me emo boy - find the playlist here

word count: 3.5k

genre: smut, a lil bit sad but not angsty?, fluff - MINORS DNI

warnings: struggling musician chan, established relationship, lots of talk of financial struggles, chan self esteems plummets for a sec, marking/biting, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (im tired just don’t), v v soft dirty talk, no power dynamic, chan doesn’t finish, they’re just in love and making love. if i missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

summary: life sucks. you don’t.

a/n: this is once again apologizing for posting off schedule and hoping this is good enough that you’ll forgive me. ngl this took a lot of energy to write w the past two weeks i’ve had so pls enjoy. i hope you’re loving this series - we’re halfway done!

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents bang chan as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

taglist: @lix-ables, @rachalixie, @agustd-essert, @fthan, @chaitae-bae, @cloudyybinin, @lix001, @dnadoublefelixx, @cyder-puff, @whatudowhennooneseesyou, @metalchick529, @stranger-thighs, @gibbysupremeacyisreal, @katieraven, @miamormi

You flipped through the mail, heart sinking lower and lower with each envelope. Second notice. Third notice. Final notice. Bills, bills, bills piling up and feeling so heavy in your hands.

It was the last thing you wanted to see at 4:00 am, just now getting home from your shift. The bartending gig was supposed to be temporary. Chan had promised you wouldn’t be working at that crowded college bar for more than three months. But then three months passed, then six, and now, at nine and half, you were still there, coming every night sticky with alcohol and pockets basically empty from shitty tips. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that frat boys don’t tip well.

Deciding you didn’t have the mental capacity to think about bills, you dropped them on the kitchen counter and fished tonight’s tips out of your wallet. You jumped onto the counter, slowly standing up on it to reach the top of the cabinets. Tucked in the back corner was a glass jar, filled with various numbered bills and handfuls of change that made the jar jingle when it moved. You stuffed the cash you made inside, reminding yourself to count the money before class in the morning.

After the jar was returned to its hiding place, you climbed off the counter and sluggishly began your bedtime routine. You stood under the shower a little longer than necessary, eyes too heavy to stay open under the warmth of the water. You tried to justify the extra time with the fact that water bills are generally cheap, but flashes of red stamped envelopes had you hurriedly turning it off. The guilt of wasting water had you using a water bottle to brush your teeth, not wanting to use the tap.

It was almost 5:00 by the time you climbed into bed next to Chan. He laid facing your side, one arm tucked under his pillow while the other was laying across the bed like it was in search of you. Gently lifting his arm, you slid underneath it, rolling on the bed until your noses were almost touching. His breath fanned across your face, stale with sleep, but you didn’t care. Everything about Chan was comforting. Everything about him made you feel safe.

His alarm was shrill, echoing off the walls of the tiny studio apartment and waking up the dog next door. Tiny curses were mumbled as he flipped over in bed, unplugging his alarm clock and pushing it off the side table.

“Good morning.” You said with a yawn, moving closer to your boyfriend to feel his warmth just a bit more. Arms wrapped around his waist, you buried your head in the space between his shoulder blades, the scent of his soap and musk making your entire body relax.

“‘Morning.” His face was pressed against the pillow, muffling his words. “When did you get home?”

“Hour ago.” You placed kisses across his bare back between sentences, tracing his light freckles with your lips. “Put all my tips in the jar. Should be able to make rent on time this month.”

Chan grunted in response, a hand finding yours and intertwining. He would never tell you, but he always felt so fucking guilty when you put your tips in the jar. That was supposed to be your extra money, money to do fun things, not to pay bills with. It wasn’t your fault Chan’s band hasn’t taken off yet, or that he lost his corporate job a year ago, forcing the two of you to move out of your comfortable two bed apartment into a squished studio with thin walls. You had weathered those storms with him, refusing to leave him alone in it.

“We’ll get through it together.”

You were far too good for him.

He flipped in the bed to face you, wanting to enjoy just a few minutes of the comfort of the bed and you before he had to get up for the day. “Busy day today?”

Your hands slid up his side, one resting on his chest while the other played with his curls. “No. Just one class this afternoon, then I work a short shift tonight. Will probably be home around 10:00.”

“You’ll be home before me.” Chan sighed sadly, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt. “I have practice tonight. And I go from the coffee shop to the mall today, so I don’t even have a break in between jobs to come home and see you.”

You shrugged, and Chan watched as you struggled to keep your eyes open and on him. “That’s okay, baby. I can wait up for you.”

“Please, don’t. You worked so late tonight.”

“I wanna.” You mumbled, eyes now shut for good. “Wan-wanna spend som-spend some time with you to-onight.” You couldn’t speak without yawning, sleep slowly wrapping her arms around you and pulling you in.

“We can talk about that later.” He whispered, not even sure if you fully understood him. He leaned in, placing a small peck on your pouty lips. “Get some rest. I love you, baby.”

Your lips curved up, letting out a small, happy moan. “I love you the most, Channie.”

Sleep had pulled you in before Chan was out of the bed, small breaths growing deeper by the second. Chan took a moment to watch you, your body finally letting go of the day’s tension and relaxing under the thin sheets. Your lips parted, soft snores tumbling out as drool gathered at the edge of your mouth. It eased Chan’s mind to see you like this - relaxed and at peace, the struggles of the day melting away. You never outwardly voiced your worries to him, opting to shoulder the burden and keep the pain locked away. But he could see it. He could see it in the way your body tensed, the way your eyes were constantly weary. He could hear it in the way you cried in the shower when you thought he was asleep.

You deserved better than this. You deserved better than him.

Chan stood at the door, counting the change in his leather jacket to make sure he had enough for the bus today. The last thing he wanted was to resort to taking quarters from the jar, even though that’s what they were there for. Confirming he had enough, he looked over at your sleeping form one last time, heart aching with both affection and sheer agony.

The damn guitar wouldn’t tune. Chan had spent the past fifteen minutes tightening the strings, trying to ready his instrument for practice and he couldn’t. His frustration built by the second, huffing frustrated grunts with every adjustment.

Right when he swore he would smash his guitar if it didn’t fucking tune, the garage door opened, an angry Jisung storming in.

“Fuck!” He shouted, heading straight for his drum set and breaking the first set of sticks he could find. “Fuck, fuck, fuck-“

“What’s wrong?” Changbin asked, who had been standing near Chan just in case he did decide to break the guitar. “Is everything o-“

“Obviously not.” Jisung snapped. He plopped on his drum stool, resting his elbows on the snare drum before he threw his head into his hands. “I got a call on the way home from work, about the Saturday show. You know, the one we booked months ago and were confirmed for just last week?”

“Oh.” Changbin said softly, coming to the conclusion before his friend could speak.

“Yeah.” Jisung lifted his head up, locking eyes with Chan. “They bumped us. They fucking bumped us for another band, saying that they would get more revenue from them. Can you fucking believe that? And to make things worse-“

Chan sat there, staring at his friend whose face was growing redder the more he yelled, and waited. He waited for the wave of disappointment, the wave of frustration, the pain of having to tell you that you two were out extra cash this month for seemingly no reason.

It never came. Not even a little splash of it, the weight of the news lost on him. He was used to it. He was used to the disappointment, to things not working out, to having to scrape and struggle and still not have anything work out.

He was used to it. So used to it in fact that he was willing to brush this off as just a small inconvenience, another hiccup in his life that he would eventually get over. What other reason could there be to this? He let a few months of struggle turn into a year of it, dragging you down with him because he had grown comfortable.

That pissed him off more than any canceled gig could.

“I can call and try to see if they could fit us in? I mean, they literally confirmed last week, there has-“

“Do that.” Chan said, standing up from his seat to pack his stuff. “Let me know what they say tomorrow, okay? If we’re bumped for now, I’m going home. I haven’t seen my girlfriend all week. Cool?”

Jisung and Changbin nodded, letting Chan go with a series of goodbyes and promises to fill him in. Frankly, Chan didn’t give a shit if they did - whether or not they played this gig was the last thing on his mind. He just needed to get out of there, and get home to you.

It typically took less than thirty minutes for Chan to walk from Jisung’s parents to your shared apartment, but tonight he made it in under twenty. He spent the entire walk in his head, trying to compress his anger with himself. The last thing he wanted was to spend the first night you both were at home and awake simmering with fury.

Chan gripped the door knob, taking a few extra breaths before he gently pushed the door open. He found you in the kitchen, sitting cross legged on the counter top with a mug in your hands.

“Hey!” Your eyes were wide, the corners of them crinkling as you smiled at him. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah we uh, canceled practice tonight.” He looked away, pretending to struggle with his guitar case so he didn’t have to look at you when he lied. “Changbin doesn’t feel well.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I am glad you’re home though.” You put the mug down, reaching out for him. Chan dropped the rest of his things, not bothering to worry about where they landed and crossed the kitchen, diving right into your arms.

He crashed into you, head nuzzling into your neck as he pulled you to the edge of the counter. You giggled at his eagerness, arms wrapping around his shoulders to keep him close to you. One of your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers running through his blonde curls and softly scratching his scalp. That, with the added feeling of your body heat made Chan immediately relax, the troubles of today slowly melting away.

You pressed kisses on his head as you wrapped your legs around his waist, locking his body into yours. “I missed you.”

Chan groaned, pulling his head out of your neck to look at you. “I missed you, too.” He leaned in, gently brushing his lips against yours. What was only meant to be a small kiss turned into something deeper, your lips parting and offering an invitation that Chan simply could not refuse.

The groan you released when your tongues met went straight to his cock, hands flying up to pull your hips flush against his. Chan would never tire of the way you taste or the way your mouth fit so perfectly against his, never failing to draw him in. The taste of you was his favorite, always going straight to his head and leaving him breathless.

However, you tasted differently today. It was still very much you, but with hints of floral that were overly familiar.

“Were you drinking tea?” He asked breathlessly, breaking the kiss.

Your eyes flashed with guilt, and with a blink, the emotion was gone. “Yes.”

Chan cocked his head in confusion, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of what he saw in your eyes or- “I thought we were out of tea.”

You pressed your lips together, teeth digging into the bottom one as you nodded. “We are-we were, but I had a really bad day at work and all I wanted was some tea so I used some of my tip money to pick up a box on the way home. I’m sorry, Chan, I shouldn’t have but I figured with your gig this weekend that-“

His heart had never shattered so hard, so quickly. Chan watched you apologize, tears forming at your waterline as you tried to reason with buying tea. Tea. A three dollar box of tea bags had you shaking and profusely apologizing.

And it was all Chan’s fault.

He pulled away from you, apologizes cut short by what you assumed was rejection. That was, until Chan climbed up on the counter next to you, standing up to reach the jar’s hiding spot.

“Wh-what are you doing?” There was a slight hiccup in your voice, and fuck, if Chan wasn’t about to start crying with you. He did that to you.

“I hate this fucking jar.” He said before dropping it to the ground, glass shattering on impact. You gasped, watching as it scattered across the tile, loose changing rolling to hide under the fridge and small kitchen table.

He could see it - the fear in your eyes at his sudden movements, not knowing what he was getting at. Did you really think he was that angry about fucking tea? No, he was livid with himself.

“Chan-“

“It’s my fault. I should’ve got us out of this mess months ago-“

“Babe-“

“I got so used to this… disappointment? This failure? I don’t fucking know, but at some point I accepted it and dragged you down with me.”

“Hey-“

“God, I’m such a fucking joke. You deserve more than this, than whatever the fuck I’ve become-“

“Chan!” You snapped, the tone of your voice firm enough to cut his rant off. “Would you get down from there? Please?”

He slowly lowered himself down and sat next to you on the counter, anger slowly being replaced by regret. Why did he break the jar? Why did he raise his voice at you? God, he was so-

“I don’t care about the jar.” You spoke as though reading his mind. “But don’t you ever, ever, talk about yourself like that again.”

“I-“

“No.” You brought your hands to your face, wiping your tears with the sleeves of your sweater. “I mean it. How dare you think that about yourself when you’re the best person on earth.”

“But-“ Chan held his head in his hands, sniffling as the tears began to fall. “This is no way to live. Struggling, having to decide between transportation or eating. You don’t deserve to suffer like this.”

“And you do? You’re right, it isn’t fair that this is the life we’re living, but I don’t care. I wouldn’t care if we had no home or the biggest in the city, as long as you were here with me.” Your hand wrapped around his arm, resting your head on his shoulder. “Who fucking cares how much money we have? Who cares if we have a car or not? The only thing I’ve ever cared about is you, Chan.”

He lifted his head, turning to look at you. When your eyes met, you smiled softly and lifted your sweater clad hands to his face, cleaning it.

“You’re not a failure. You’re everything.”

Chan couldn't stop himself, kissing you as if he was offering you his soul. In a way, he was; wanting every fiber of his being to be yours, and yours his. The way you matched his tempo, deepening the kiss before he had the chance to, confirmed that you had him, and that he had you.

Without breaking the kiss, Chan pulled his knees onto the counter, broad body pushing you down until your back hit the counter top. The location was less than ideal, with your head partially in the sink and Chan unable to fully stretch his legs without kicking the toaster, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for you, and the undeniable need to have you immediately.

You broke the kiss, cupping his cheeks as you moved to his jaw. Teeth sunk into his skin, bruising in the wake of your bites. He shut his eyes, releasing a whiny groan as you marked him. The bites continued down as Chan found the waistline of your leggings and peeled them off. He slipped a hand inside your underwear, bites faltering at his touch.

“Oh, baby.” Chan whispers as two fingers rub your entrance, teasing like he was about to push in. “Such a mess already.”

The feeling of his fingers had your head rolling back, detaching from his neck and hitting the countertop with a thump. Your eyes rolled back, fluttering shut as he applied just a bit of pressure as if he was going to enter before letting up.

His name fell from your lips as a whine and your back arched, and fuck, if you weren’t the prettiest when you were needy for him. “Channie, don’t tease.”

”'m not teasing. Just playing with what’s mine.”

Chan pushed his fingers inside you, watching the way your lips parted and nose scrunched up as you moaned for him. Slowly, he filled you up with his fingers, stopping only when his knuckles were deep inside you. He parted the fingers inside, spreading them out as much as he could.

“God, how are you always this fucking tight?” He grunts, dragging his fingers out just to pump back in. “Can’t wait to stretch you out, pretty girl.”

“Please?” Your lips trembled as you began to beg, nails digging into the nape of his neck. “Please, I need to feel you so bad. Need you so bad.”

He could never say no to you.

Pulling his fingers out of you, he held them to your lips, watching you lick them clean as he used one hand to undone his jeans. He pushed them down just enough for his cock to spring out, hard and angry from lack of stimulation.

Hands found your hips, pulling your center closer to him. Chan pulled your panties to the side, rubbing the head of his cock on your folds. “Baby.”

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting his with a weak smile. “Hm?”

Chan leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Just needed to see you.” And then he was inside you, slowly pushing until you were filled with him.

The feeling of you was intoxicating, a high that Chan would chase over and over and never have enough of. The effect you had on him was addicting. When he was in you, his mind blanked, body moving on its own with the sole purpose of pleasuring you. Like a light in the darkness, you were his comfort, his escape from the harsh reality. You were right; it didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing, just as long as he had you.

You, you, you.

You, whose hands were on his face, bringing his attention back to the present.

“Hey, where’d you go?” You whispered, voice rough from the volume of your moans.

Chan nuzzled into your palms, turning to brush a kiss against them. “Nowhere. I’m here.” Fingers traced up your leg, goosebumps making a path to where you and Chan connected. A slight brush of his thumb against your bundle of nerves, and your jaw went slack, strained moans tumbling out. “Always right here.”

“Yeah?” You whined out, trying to keep your droopy eyes open and on him. “Always?”

“Always.” The pace of his hips picked up, teeth grinding together as you began to clench tighter around him. Your eyes rolled back, nails digging into the leather of his jacket as your orgasm approached.

Chan had never seen your high hit so hard, your entire body shaking underneath him as your moans echoed off the walls. The moment your high ended, Chan pulled out and sat up, taking you with him. A large hand cupped the back of your head, pulling it into his neck as the other stroked your back.

“So good. Always so good for more.” His praises were accompanied with kisses across your head. He didn’t stop until he heard your breath even out, arms now lacing around him instead of hanging limp at his side.

Life was a mess, and he had made it that way. There was no denying that. But as you lifted your tired head up, blown out doe eyes meeting his with a goofy grin on your face, he realized any hell was bearable as long as you were his escape.

©: chvnnie 2022

#stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan smut #chan smut #bang chan fluff #chan fluff #bang chan angst #chan angst #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids angst #skz angst #emo bf!skz chvnnie

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cha0ticspacebi · 1 year

Text

The King of the Hellfire Club: Chapter 4

Your dad promised this was the last move until after you graduate. You see Eddie Munson outside Nancy's house shortly after your arrival in Hawkins. Everyone tells you to stay away but you're sure there's more to him than he lets on. Now it's the day before spring break and you just have to work up the nerve to actually talk to him before you lose your chance.

Tags: 18+ MDNI,falling in love, full of cheesy cliche high school romance tropes, dungeon master Eddie, dom Eddie, rockstar Eddie, hurt/comfort, getting together, fluff/smut

dividers by firefly-graphics

Chapter 4/13 ☆ Previous chapter → Next chapter

☆ You can find me over on A03 as Cha0ticBi ☆ Master list link! ☆

Spending the evening with Hawkin’s resident freak must have been more exhausting than you thought. You fell asleep in your clothes right after hanging up with Eddie last night. The phone ringing startled you awake. You rolled over and eyed the alarm clock. 9:34.

There was a soft knock on your door, ” You awake in there? Robin’s on the phone. Should I tell her to call back later?” Shit I forgot to call Robin last night .

“No I’m up mom. I’ve got it in here, thanks!”

You picked up the receiver, “Hello.”

“Thank Jesus! Girl, do you know how worried I’ve been? I’ve been flipping through every news channel waiting to see that your body had been discovered in the woods. I told you to call me after your drug deal with Munson. Come on girl spill! What happened?”

“I’m fine Robin. He was really sweet and when I explained that I didn’t actually want to buy drugs from him he was totally cool. I took him up on his invitation to join the hellfire session. Which by the way was incredibly fun, no sacrificial virgins required. He was quite the gentleman Robin and I’m going out with him again tonight.”

“Wait! You are telling me you have a DATE with Hawkin’s infamous metal head, Eddie Munson?”

You blushed, “Yeah I do. Who knows maybe he’ll even take me back to his place after.”

“If there’s a chance you are getting laid tonight you need a new outfit! I’m stuck here until 2 but after that we are going to the closest mall! I’ll meet you at your house after work.”

Robin hung up and left you with the words chance of getting laid stuck in your head all morning. You rolled out of bed and started the task of making yourself look like a human again. Mom had breakfast on the table when you came downstairs. Dad was reading the morning paper. You kissed the top of his head with a hug. Whether it was a side effect of all the moving or being the only child you loved your close knit family. You enjoyed each other’s company and they listened as you expressed your nerves about going on a date tonight. Many parents might not approve of their daughter dating the local outcast but they knew they raised you to be responsible and trusted you to make your own decisions. Although that didn’t stop mom from stuffing several condoms in your bag when you went upstairs to finish getting ready. Tires screeching to a stop outside your house was your signal of the time.

“Eddie’s picking me up at 7 so I’ll be home before then!” You called out as you ran out. Realizing Robin wasn’t alone. Steve Harrington’s car was parking in your driveway.

He shouted out the window as you approached, “Hey I had to see for myself the girl who’s lost her mind and agreed to a date with Munson!”

“Haha - very funny. You know you all judge him without a second thought.” You got in the backseat, Robin sitting shotgun.

Robin looked up from fixing her makeup, “You’ve only been here a year. We’ve known him since middle school. He should have graduated the year before Steve and then again last year with Steve but he never goes to class and gets in a lot of fights. Not to mention he provides all of Hawkins High with their fix. We’re just trying to look out for you. Don’t you remember earlier this year he tried to sell drugs to Jason Carver’s girlfriend Chrissy and they had it out? The cops showed up at school and everything!”

You rolled your eyes, “Jason’s a prick and that was just a rumor that he didn’t even bother to try to prove. For all he knows Chrissy wanted drugs! He was only looking for a way to maintain his status. If you’re so worried about me, why are you so eager to help? What was it you said this morning, “a new outfit in case I get laid?” Steve laughed as he turned the car into the mall parking lot.

“Just because I disapprove in your choice of date doesn't mean I don’t want to see you happy. Have you told your parents who you're going out with?”

“I did. They said he sounded like a nice guy. Although I did leave out the part where he sells drugs. Weed isn’t all that bad though? In California it’s been decriminalized since ‘75. Only hard core dealers got busted.”

Robin and Steve share a look but say nothing else as you walk into the busy mall.

Shopping brought mixed emotions for you. On one hand it was a traditionally girly thing you enjoyed. On the other hand, despite ACDC’s sentiment of enjoyment, your American thighs made shopping difficult. Robin didn’t bring up her concerns anymore. She really was a great friend! She helped you try to find something that would drive anyone you chose to date wild. Steve also turned out to be a great help. He provided the suggestion that you decided to go with. Classy yet with a hint of edginess. The three of you grabbed a snack and then headed back. With approximately 2 hours until your date Steve and Robin dropped you off wishing you luck.

“You better remember to call me this time! Unless you're otherwise engaged in that case, call me in the morning!” You waved as they pulled away.

You raced off inside to get ready. With every passing moment the anticipation grew. Your heart raced as you put the finishing touches on your hair. At 6:53 you heard the doorbell ring.

Noises throughout the house told you your dad was probably headed towards the door to answer it. You opened the door to your room and tiptoed to the landing to listen.

“Good evening young man, you must be Eddie,”

“That’s me sir. Nice to meet you,” you giggled at how nervous he sounded.

“I hear you're taking my girl to a horror movie.”

“If she’ll still have me, yes I am.”

“Well good luck. She's always been a bit squeamish. Take a seat.”

You ducked back into your room and did one last glance in the mirror, fluffed your hair and grabbed your bag. Finally noticing the condoms hidden in the bottom.

Mom opened your door, “Have a good time sweetie. Be safe. Call if you need anything!”

With that you headed down the stairs with a deep breath. Eddie appeared surprisingly casual sitting there on the couch talking to your dad. It seemed you walked in on a conversation about music.

“Sweetie you didn’t tell me Eddie had such good taste! You know I was a bit of a wild child in my time too,” dad caught your look, “Anyhow don’t let an old man get started on his nostalgia! You kids have fun now.”

Eddie’s van was parked in the street. It was covered in stickers and quite honestly looked like a tire could fall off at any minute.

“Your chariot fair maiden,” Eddie opened the door for you with a bow. Offering his hand he helped you up inside.

“Thank you good sir”

You felt your seat shake as he twisted the key in the ignition. You couldn’t help but notice the smell permeating every surface. Eddie rolled down his window a bit.

“Sorry about that, you smoke in here a few times and it never goes away. You um- you like nice by the way. Loving the rocker chick look.”

“Thanks, you look nice too.”

He laughed, “You say that like I don’t just have this one outfit.”

“I mean it,” you defended, “So what were you talking to my dad about?”

“Music. My old man left when I was a kid, kinda nice talking with yours.” Eddie stared out the window, quickly changing topics, “I can’t believe they let you leave with me! Did you not tell them the dangerous tales of Eddie Munson, troubled youth?”

“I did leave out the part where you tried to sell me drugs but I told them your tales of greatness King Eddie. My mom said she wants to have you over sometime. If you're interested, that is.”

He laughed, “Yeah I did do that didn’t I? Can’t have me being a bad influence now can we?” He turned on the cassette currently loaded in the player. A song you didn’t recognize played.

“So sweetheart, tell me. I already know you’re into reading, roleplay and my voice but what else do you enjoy?” He looked so cocky over there in the driver’s seat.

Your heart skipped a beat, “I don’t know what you're talking about. The guy I said those things to definitely was supposed to forget them.”

He laughed, “Not a chance. Seriously. Tell me. What do you like? Your dad sounded surprised that I was talking you to a horror movie.”

“To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of them. I’m aware they are fake but my imagination gets the better of me. Besides, even fake gore turns my stomach. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the movies though so I was happy to let you choose.”

“I have a perfectly good shoulder you can hide in should you need protection, fair maiden.”

Your cheeks flushed at the thought, “My hero.”

The song continued to fill the space between you.

Follow me now and you, will not regret

Leaving the life you led, before we met

You are the first to have, this love of mine

Forever with me 'til the end of time

You caught your head and foot moving to the sound, “What song is this?”

“Oh this is by Black Sabbath, you know Ozzy? I can turn it off if you don’t like it.” Is he blushing?

You shook your head, “No, I like it. I’m usually more of a rock and roll girl but this is nice. I’ve never really listened to metal. I never had a handsome, knowledgeable, metalhead expert to show me what’s good.” You smiled, thankful he had to keep his eyes on the road.

“There’s a lot of things I can show you sweetheart. But for now how about a movie?”

Eddie parked the van and rushed out. His curls blew in the night breeze as he made his way to the passenger side door opening it for you. He offered you his hand.

“Ever the gentleman Eddie Munson. I’m looking forward to this,” You walked together into the theater and spotted the movie poster for the film you were about to see. Blood dripped from the edges of the words Chopping Mall , “Just make sure your shoulder is ready and available because I can almost guarantee I’ll be requiring your services.”

Eddie bought your tickets and guided you towards a pair of seats near the back corner. You took a seat. Slowly but surely the theater filled with couples and a few large groups sharing excitement for this latest sci fi horror film. The lights went down and the film started.

Thanks to all your reading you were pretty good at predicting the flow of stories so you knew you’d be safe for the first 15-20 minutes or so before things got bloody. It was also around that time when you felt a warm sensation on your shoulders. Eddie had reached his arm over. Your breath quickened and you didn’t want him to pull back. You leaned into him, hopeful your feelings of approval would be felt. Unfortunately the tender moment was not to last. Mere seconds after getting comfortable a girl who wandered off by herself was brutally murdered by this killer mall robot…cop? You whipped your head around and buried it in Eddie’s shoulder. He tightened his grip around your shoulders and leaned in close.

“Stay there, I’ll tell you when it’s safe again.” His soft whispers caused your thighs to tighten and rub together. You let yourself enjoy the moment and try not to think of the carnage on the screen. He smells nice. Woodsy. Earthy. He tapped your shoulder.

“It’s all safe sweetheart. No more blood… oh wait nevermind,” he laughed softly, breath tickling the hairs on your ear.

You wouldn’t mind if you spent the rest of the night right here becoming drunk off his smell.

True to his word Eddie did his best to help you avoid the gore. By the end of the movie you actually enjoyed the absurdity of the concept and that it made it easier to handle the blood. The credits came on and one by one people rose out of their seats to leave.

“How you feeling there sweetheart? You seemed to come out of your hiding place near the end there. Did you like it more than you thought you would?”

You talked as you walked out to Eddie’s van. Your shoulder was cold, ”If by like you mean couldn’t help but laugh at the absolute nonsense of having robot cops with weapons protecting a mall? Yes I did. Seriously? Whoever signed off on giving those robots licenses to kill?”

Eddie once again helped you into his van. Seat shaking as he started it up.

“I hope you had fun… So when exactly did you tell your parents you’d be home? I wouldn’t want them to think I corrupted their sweet girl and sucked her into my demonic cult.” He emphasized his words with a silly face and sucking sound.

Your laugh faded,“Well uh. Actually I told them I’d be out…a while.”

Eddie grinned, “What exactly did you have in mind?”

“How about we start with you giving me a lesson in the world of heavy metal?”

“As you wish,” he picked up speed as you drove off into the night.

You didn’t have any preconceived expectations as to Eddie’s home. He pulled into Forest Hills Trailer Park and drove for a bit down the road before pulling into a spot outside his trailer.

“Welcome to my castle,” you couldn’t help but notice the hesitation in his voice as he guided you with his hand up the steps, “I know it isn’t much but it’s good enough for me and my uncle. Speaking of - he’s out working so it’s just us. If you’d be more comfortable I can take you home.” You stopped him. Placing a finger to his lips.

“Stop overthinking. I’d love to.”

You stepped inside to a small living room. Eddie grabbed a few visual pieces of trash and quickly tossed them, “Sorry about the mess. The maid doesn't come until Tuesday.” He laughs awkwardly.

You follow him into his room. It smells like him. You watched him lightly thumb the strings of a guitar hanging up by the mirror, “Sorry I’m late gorgeous.” He slid past you and grabbed a cassette tape popping it into the player.

“First lesson sweetheart. Since you liked the other song I figured we’d start here. Tell me what you think while I grab us a drink.”

Alone. On Eddie Munson’s bed. You try not to be nosy but you can’t help but look around. Most of the walls are covered in posters. The only areas that look neat are his music and around the guitar. Are those handcuffs?

“I’m back,” his smile will never get old, “So what do you think?”

Feel so good I feel so fine

Love that little lady always on my mind

She gives me lovin’ every night and day

Never gonna leave her, never going away

You sip the drink he handed you, “I like it, Black Sabbath right?” You twisted your hips to face him on the other side of the bed. He looks up at you curiously and takes a drink.

“Are you sure you’re real?” He sets the drink down and lays down across the bed. He reaches his hand out and touches your arm. You lock eyes as he continues. He playfully pinches the soft skin on your arm, “Either I’m dreaming or you are not of this world.” Your free hand lingers over his. Running your fingertips gently over his rings, barely grazing the skin.

“I’m real Eddie.” Your voice barely a whisper.

He slides his hand up your arm, across your shoulder and cups the back of your neck. His grip firm as he pulls himself up close. You feel your lips twitch as you resist the urge to bite down. His other hand reaches up and cradles the side of your face, his thumb caresses your parted lips. Your eyes give him all the permission he needs. His movement is quick. Both hands gripping the back of your neck as he pulls in. He tastes incredible. His lips are smooth, wet with saliva as you open your mouth. His grip tightens when he feels your hands on him. His hellfire shirt is the only layer between your hands and his chest. You snake your hand across his chest and around his back, invading the space beneath his leather jacket. A moan escapes your lips as you tighten your hold on him, fist full of fabric. He pulls away slowly.

“You taste amazing sweetheart. But I need you to know something before we go any further.”

Your hands are still on him refusing to let go, “What is it?”

“You’ve been far too understanding about me. There’s a reason people avoid me and call me a freak. At first it might seem they avoid me because of the music I listen to or the games I play but it’s actually because of this,” he reaches behind his back to his left pocket and pulls out the black bandana you’ve seen him wearing everyday since moving here, “Do you know what this means?” he waved it between his fingers like a little flag. You shake your head no. “This means people avoid me because I’m uh-,” he takes in a deep breath and lets it out with noise, “Ah - I’ve never told anyone this outright but your friends with Robin right? That girl in band?”

“Eddie,” you interrupted him, “I need to tell you something too. It’s also something I haven’t admitted…out loud to anyone…I like you Eddie. A lot. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to talk to you since the first day I saw your beautiful brown eyes from Nancy Wheeler’s front porch and every day after that. The first weeks of school were torture. Everyone wanted to get to know the new girl and any time I brought up your name they told me I should stay away. Everyone told me you were nothing but trouble but… I knew they had to be wrong because…I see you when you politely step aside for cheerleaders, knowing they wouldn’t give you the same courtesy. I see you defend your friends, especially Dustin, he looks up to you so much. I see your sad smile that has learned to protect itself and shut out the world. I see you Eddie. And I like what I see.”

This was the first time you’ve seen Eddie Munson speechless. His mouth opened and closed as if trying to catch the lost words. His playful theatrics returned as he feigned the inability to speak.

You laughed, releasing him just long enough to take a drink from the bottle he’d given you, “If you can’t speak I can think of a few other things we can do.”

He kisses you, “You- you strange, unearthly thing! How did I ever live without you?” He kisses you again.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut #18+ content #high school sweetheart eddie munson #dungeon master eddie munson

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eelhound · 1 year

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"The Fordist factory seems to require a particular family form. The male-headed nuclear family arose in coordination or correspondence with the transformations of employment in the twentieth century and got codified into law in various ways. For example, as Alice Kessler-Harris shows in her book In Pursuit of Equity, the Social Security system very strongly encouraged women to be housewives, making that make financially more sense than to work the low-wage jobs that were available to women. Women would accrue more Social Security benefits by means of the housewife formula than they would likely accrue in a job as a waitress or a secretary or the other jobs that were available to most women. This is one of the many examples of how the welfare state herds working-class people into this particular family form...

Why is it that the structure of the capitalist welfare state social formation prefers and seeks to produce this family organization?... the labor force upon which industrial production depends has to get produced and reproduced in the family. This is particularly true for industrial mass production like steel and auto. For long-term planning purposes, managers need a stabilized workforce. And for this, they need the labor force to be consistent and reliable and to show up in more or less the same form that they can anticipate every day. This is part of why they were willing ultimately to accept collective bargaining.

What that means is that the family has a particular role to play. The family has to produce steelworkers. It has to raise male children who are in one way or another ready for this role. It has to refresh them each night.

And it’s a more complex undertaking than you might think. Steel mills run twenty-hour hours a day. You can’t turn them off because they’re too hot and it takes too long to heat them back up again, so you just run them constantly. They run in three eight-hour shifts, which means that every steelworker at various points is going to be doing an 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. shift, a 4:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. shift, and sometimes a 12:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. shift. If he’s doing a 4:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. shift, and the family has four or five kids — these are typically pretty big families, especially in the earlier Cold War period — the wife has to make dinner for the kids at 5:00 or 6:00 p.m. and then stay up and make him dinner again at midnight when he gets home.

Moreover, when he gets home, he is going to be filthy, because he works in a steel mill. His clothes are going to be caked in industrial grease, and there will be grease under his fingernails, in his hair, on his eyelids. She has to help him get clean. He’s going to be tired, frustrated, worn out, maybe humiliated from the shit he went through with his foreman that day, and he’s maybe going to want to have one or two drinks, a very common ritual. So she has to do what we could think of as emotional work to deal with that. She needs to keep him from waking up the kids. He’s then going to sleep through the next day because he was up late working at the steel mill, and so she has to keep the kids from making any noise that would wake him up during the next day.

Just from these little examples I’m giving you, you can see how the family has this economic function supplying a steady supply of labor power, but it’s people who make it up. It’s not just a series of input factors — it’s people living their lives, with human experiences and needs and desires and conflict. And basically it’s a wife and mother’s job to square that right, to figure out how to keep it all going. It’s a very difficult job, emotionally and physically. I read diaries and letters and all kinds of things from steelworkers’ wives saying things like, 'I typically do the laundry at two in the morning because that’s when I know no one will need me for anything else.' And it’s also impossible: they can never make it fully line up. They can’t ever be the family that postwar Cold War America imagined that they should be able to be."

- Gabriel Winant being interviewed by Daniel Denvir, from "For Workers, Hospitals Have Become the New Steel Mills — Minus the Strong Unions." Jacobin, 28 January 2023.

#gabriel winant #daniel denvir #quote #quotations #feminism #nuclear family #democratic socialism #marxist feminism #steelworking #economics #labor #cold war #neoliberalism #capitalism #patriarchy

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purplesurveys · 3 months

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1806

Are you tired? Are you taking this survey because you can’t sleep? Not very tired at all even if it's past midnight. I finally feel the calm that's been evading me for a while because 1) I have a long weekend, and 2) I can also finally stop fooling myself about resigning 'soon,' because I did it already a week ago :)

Do you have something important to do? Not right now but I'll be doing a lot of job hunting in the next few weeks! Also tomorrow morning I'll be heading out to get my car checked because the handbrake icon has been lighting up for a while now and I need to know what's up with that lol.

Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos? It tastes okay but I'm generally not a fan of packed snacks.

Do you wish you had a new phone? No but I need to start taking care of my current phone, cos I learned today that the battery capacity left on it is at 77% which is apparently already horrible haha. I'm not in any rush to replace it at least until a year or two from now as it's still a fairly new phone, so it's just a matter of watching out for how much I use it going forward.

Name one thing you ate today? Instant laksa.

Do you like 80’s music? 60’s music? 90’s music? I have songs I like from each decade but none of them stand out for me when it comes to music in general.

Do you find rap music annoying? Rap music, and any genre for that matter, is super broad though. There are albums I like but then there are those songs that can get superficial about drugs and sex and have a lot of autotune that just makes me go egh.

What song is stuck in your head? I'm Fine by BTS because it was the last song I played on Rhythm Hive before closing the game earlier today lol.

Have you ever been to Germany? Never been.

Do you drink coffee in the mornings? I need to, otherwise I'd feel super disoriented and not be able to get as focused at work.

Do you become a fan of lots of things on Facebook? Not anymore, but I remember how huge that was before. People made pages out of anything and everyone would just be fans of them.

What time do you go to bed on school/work nights? Around midnight or a little past.

Have you ever seen a therapist? I've never had a session with one, actually. Even though there were many times in the past where I know I should've.

Do you get in trouble at school often? No. I got scolded once for talking during a class in Grade 4 and from there made it a point to never disrupt again haha.

Do you watch videos on YouTube? All the time. Even if I don't watch a video per se, I like having YouTube on as background noise/visuals and keep it playing all day long.

Name a song that makes you happy. These days, Paramore's Escape Route has been giving me all the happy vibes.

Name a song that makes you want to dance. Home by BTS.

Name a song that brings back memories. Fireflies by Owl City.

Does the song above bring back good or bad memories? A little bit of both, but mostly good.

What decade do you think is the best musically? I'd be the worst person to ask this as I never really was an adventurous listener. I also feel like each decade has their own styles and charms when it comes to music so as far as 'musically best' I'd find it hard to tell.

Do you take a long time to get ready in the mornings? I need around 30-45 minutes to prep before work. That includes taking a shower, making my bed, cleaning my room, playing with the dogs for a few minutes, and making coffee.

Do you wear a lot of makeup? Does BB cream count? That's really the only thing I apply, and foundation. But yeah in general, the answer is no.

Have you ever written poetry or fiction? I've dabbled in both but never enjoyed it. I was always one for non-fiction writing.

Do you know how to read music? Nope. We had drills in music class where we had to read notes and such, but I never retained those and if you quizzed me right now I'd pretty much be clueless.

Do you regularly use a blow dryer? I don't.

When was the last time you went to church? Three Sundays ago. The last two I missed because I watched a public Royal Rumble watch party, then had a work event to oversee.

Would you date someone who was a different religion than you? I wouldn't date anyone who's closely tied to their religion.

What is your best subject in school? History.

Name something you do nearly everyday. Use a laptop.

Do you take surveys a lot? Than the average person, absolutely. Within the community...not nearly as much as I used to. I usually have time to check in only on the weekends now.

Have you ever had sushi? Yes, it's one of my favorite foods. I literally had sushi at least once every week in January hahaha.

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theclarityinmirrors · 8 months

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I hate how my legs are shorter than everyone else in my ballet class and look thicker no matter how thin I try to be because I'm Asian. And how long my body is and how large my head and how short my arms are in comparison to everyone else.

And I hate how the only thing good about my dancing is my "expressivity" which anyone else can easily copy after a while, and how my technique is trash because of years of constant injuries, leading to more injuries.

I hate how every time I manage to recover and go back, everyone is so much better, and how flexibility was one of my "good points" but it is completely useless because who needs to be bendy when you don't have the strength to show it off? And besides, there's plenty more people who are both more flexible and stronger than you.

I hate how I'm that slow idiot in ballet, so I can never get unseen enchainment right, and I am always told that I am stupid at dance, but I can't wave my constant averages of above 95 at my teacher's face, or my scholarship at a high achieving school.

And I hate that even that is slipping because I have to cram a term's worth of studying in a single day to try and expect 100% because I'm never there at school and I'm away dancing, when I know that I'm practicing just to break another bone again, and get even worse.

There's also the fact that up awake late at night on my phone trying to ignore my parents screaming at each other, and trying run away from the reality that I am an absolute failure at ballet, and how I'm starting to drift down at my school work too.

I hate how that is an excuse to play on my phone, and rebel from my image of that bubbly, happy girl who is hardly there because she's away passionately pursuing her ballet career, but is somehow an A+ student.

And I hate how if I have time to make this stupid post or read manga and watch anime, then I could be training to strengthen myself, practice my ballet, to study more, even sleep, but I don't because I'm an undisciplined, pathetic fool who can only pretend to be disciplined on the outside.

They don't know that I fall asleep at 2am in the morning, and struggle to wake up in the morning, just on my phone, reading fanfiction and manga. They think I sleep at 8:30, 9:30 if I have a private lesson, exhausted. They don't know that the reason why I have blood noses so frequently, and my face is always littered with acne is because I force myself to wake up at 4:45 in the morning to study (they know that - they just don't know I sometimes only sleep a few hours).

I hate that I know all too well that the source of all my problems is there; if I sleep, then I stop being so tired, I can concentrate in the few classes I attend, my brain would start braining and my injuries would stop. I know. I know. I know.

I know.

So I hate it when my friends tell me that I work hard. I'm not working hard enough, when I could just fix one problem and everything else would be easier. And of course I work harder than them; they only have home and school to take seriously, and they marvel when I tell them I don't have time to go out every weekend with them, or even consider a relationship. I also hate that I subconsciously put myself above them inside, while I smile and laugh and be that one nice, kind friend I'm supposed to be.

I hate it when teachers don't take me accountable for not doing my homework, and how my parents pay for my ballet and my physiotherapist, and support me as much as they can. And I hate how much I loathe them when they ask me whether if I want to consider changing to swap to academics, because I'm technically more talented in that aspect, even after all they've done and are doing for me.

I want to quit ballet. I really do. But I hate how everything I do was for ballet.

Piano? For musicality in ballet.

Studying? To have a stable job if ballet fails or I retire.

Reading? It was for fun, sure, but I link back to the emotions to dance.

Eating? Carefully maintained to try to maintain my poor Asian figure.

I even have this whole timeline of my life planned out with countermeasures.

And finally, I hate how much I just stupidly love ballet, and I can't imagine my life without it.

#ballet #my problems #spilled ink #my thoughts #rants #this is really random #but am i aromantic #because i don't want a romantic relationship rn #oh well #i can think about that later

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hangingthoughts · 1 year

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December 16, 2022

Hellooooo. So, let's see what happened today. I was able to make a lot of memories. Haha! I am so happy. You know what i thought of? I cannot pinpoint the time, but i thought of the popular saying 'whenever i get too happy, something bad always happens'. For a second there i was scared, but then there's also this peace (Of course, I can only credit that to God given that He's the Only who provides it, anyway) then if that's the case, I'd like to enjoy the happiness as much as i can and only worry about the sad part when it finally happens. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ i mean, i find it senseless to worry about something nonexistent yet. (But F. Kasi ang tagal niya. Nakakagigil) Unless of course there is some basis to it. But as for my situation, there isn't. There is just... happiness. Hahaha but I know, somewhere along the line, it'll get tired of being a linear, and i accept that. Who doesn't? Even when we all strive for a good posture, my back aches to bend sometimes. Okay, now that that is out of the way. Let's see. Let's break down this day.

1. I was able to start my morning with a coffee talk with my mom. We shared yung napanalunan ko sa raffle na cookies.

2. Hinatid ako hanggang Camella gate kay Flash.

3. Hindi ako late. Hehe. And when i got there, the first two people are Jen and Paulo. And God knows, I'm happy that they are. Because then we were able to make a little chika. I'm glad we're all comfortable with each other.

4. I saw my other classmates na hindi nakapunta nung CASED party. 🫶

5. We finally got our ID lace. I have the official Psych ID Lace. What does that make me? Come on, answer. Oh, as for it, i chose the different one. Wala lang. Just so kunti lang katulad nung akin

5. I was entrusted with the room's key. Hello sir Kenneth 🫡

6. Nakuha ko yung upuan sa harap. Hehe. This is a big deal to me given na i kind of have a short attention span.

7. Hindi naglecture si ma'am. I told the people today na kasama ko na i am not confident today kasi i still feel tired from last night.

8. And today's activity afforded us 50% ng finals sa ITP. Hoorahhh!

9. The activity is just being honest with oneself. Hehehehehehehehehehe and writing letters to another. I apologize to all na sinulatan ko. Wala na po akong mapiga na brain cells kanina. Pagod pa 😭

10. I received so much hugs. GOSH, MY FAVORITE PART. AND I MEAN SO MUCH HUGS. When ma'am ask us to give na the letters, i first went to Shan and gave her a hug. After that, i wasn't able to give the rest because God in His goodness and grace, I was trafficked by hugs. HAHAHAHAHAHA & I am seriously shocked. I didn't expect to receive that much letters and hugs. Aww Lord, You are so kind to me. I feel sincerely comforted and loved. Thank You! And thank you ❤️

11. All those letters. I look like a baliw reading them at public places but hey, i am proud and humbled at the same time. Thank ü

12. We were dismissed early. And what did u know, before i even get out of the room, i received another 2 hugs and an immediate another one paglabas ko. HAHAHAHA Aww this melts my heart. Thank You Lord.

13. I received a chocolate! Yay!

14. I received an invitation to go out for lunch. Unfortunately, i had to decline because i promised today's after class is mine. And i really needed to buy mommy a gift.

15. I went to my happy place today! Yay! Cue happy dance~ bought and brought 6 books home today. And almost all of them are classics. Yay! Praise God! I really missed going there. Really missed it. ♥️

16. It's my mom's bday so we ordered food for dinner. KFC and Pizza. I ate 1/4 of it. I forgot we have rotc tomorrow so good luck to me.

17. And last, we have cake. 🫶🫰♥️😳😍🤭❤️ Mango sunrise. U bet I'm gonna eat.

So far, these are all of them. And i thank God because He let me lived today. I wasn't able to do what I'm trying to be (ehem, Atomic Habits) but I sure am grateful that God planned this and that it pleased Him to let me enjoy this day. All glory to Him really ☺️♥️

So, that's all. Tinatamad na ko. Good night 💤

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takeeachdayonebookatatime · 2 years

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Castle fanfiction

Why did you elbow me? 64

Under arrest 3

Lanie: pov In the scan room Kate is transferred to the bed. She is definitely sore from yesterday. I'm waiting in the control room with the technicians. Afterwards I talk with her Dr about the results he says nothing looks concerning. There is no current issue, it's still just the arrhythmia. He says her having been shot and having arrhythmia makes her more likely to have ventricular fibrillation. But something has to cause it or trigger it.

Castle: pov back in Kate's room we arrive with the food I made sure to get her oatmeal. Lanie says her scans look good. We decided to have a movie day and watch some movies. For lunch I got everyone sandwiches except Kate. The food tasted amazing. Kate slept through most of the movie. A nurse came in regularly to give her meds and check on her. The nurse mentioned Kate might be in pain or sore so try and have her limit her movement. Jim stayed for dinner. Kate's food looked like something healthy. Ryan and Esposito called to give us an update on the case. Mother and Alexis had plans tonight.

Kate: pov I'm just so sore Lanie went to talk to my Dr about something. My dad said he is heading back to the loft for tonight. Before bed I'm given my night time meds. It is now morning and it is hard falling asleep with someone coming in your room all night to check on you. Thankfully this time Lanie told the nurse not to come in for a few hours so I slept pretty good. Carl the Cardiologist talks about how after breakfast if everything looks good I can go home. My Cardiologist got me an appointment this week with a pulmonary Dr to make sure everything is good with my lungs and pulmonary vein.

Jim: pov Lanie said all of Kate's morning scans are good and she is no longer on the ventricular fibrillation medicine which is great. Breakfast for Kate is Cheerios, once at the loft me and Castle get her settled in their room. I decided to take a walk and read a book before lunch. Kate said she had a headache.

Lanie: pov Castle is in his office getting some writing done. Kate is taking a nap. I decided to put her pulmonary appointment on the calendar. That is when I noticed on the calendar it mentions she has a dentist appointment tomorrow and Castle has a meeting at black pawn. I talked with her Dr and he said to keep the appointment since it is just a cleaning. Castle says he is trying to cancel the meeting but Gina is being mean. Lunch is a simple yogurt with fruit and granola for Kate everyone else is having a chicken sandwich. After lunch we decided to play a few board games as a family. It has been decided I will take Kate to the dentist. I think Jim wants to come with us and Castle can go to the meeting at black pawn. Alexis has classes early tomorrow and Martha has an acting class.

Castle: pov for dinner I made a healthy soup Mother and Alexis showed up right as we were setting the table. Alexis is telling us all about her day and how classes went. She mentions her classes get out early tomorrow and can she invite Paige over for lunch. I say you don't have to ask If you can bring a friend over she says but Lanie and Papa Jim are over. Kate says it's fine my dad has a lunch date with a friend after my dentist appointment and me and Lanie can go in my room and watch a movie or us 4 girls can.

Kate: pov I went to bed early. I'm so tired, sore and don't feel good. In the morning Castle and Lanie made sure everything was ready for me. I took my pill, showered and went downstairs to have some Cheerios. Lanie and Dad were already to leave. I kissed Castle goodbye. The car ride is not that long. Once we arrived at the dentist appointment Dad sat down with me while Lanie talked to the receptionist and filled out some forms.

Jim: pov Lanie tells me to sit with Kate while she fills out some forms and paperwork.

Lanie: pov I told the receptionist I called yesterday and talked with the Dentist himself about Kate's health. She mentions he will be the one cleaning her teeth instead of a hygienist. The dentist is nice and is going to let Jim in the room with us while he cleans her teeth.

Kate: pov my name is called. Lanie and Jim walk on either side of me holding my hands just in case. Once in the chair Lanie sits next to me holding my hand Dad is sitting in a chair in the corner. The dentist mentions. Does she always get hurt on the job? Lanie says no her heart condition is because of her shooting all those years ago. The dentist is nice and mentions what everything is and what they are for.

Lanie: pov Kate did fantastic at the dentist and was calm the whole time. I decided to pick up lunch on the way back to the loft for us girls. I make sure Kate's food is healthy. She texted Alexis letting her know she is picking up food. As soon as we get to the loft Jim gets ready for his lunch date with an old friend and leaves. I set the food down on the table.

Alexis: pov Lanie is unloading the food which looks good. I thank her for picking it up and she says no problem. Kate did not eat much and said she was not hungry. Thankfully I had talked to Paige beforehand about what not to say or ask in front of Kate. Paige asks all about Kate's Job and her health once lunch is over Lanie and Kate head to the master bedroom to watch a movie. Lanie says to me she is actually hoping Kate takes a nap. Because she feels a little warm which is concerning. To be continued. ……..

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