#so this is my guess that rabbit got rid of it

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike learns Vanessa had dyed hair

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #glitchtrap #fnaf #fnaf help wanted #fnaf ar special delivery #security breach #fnaf fanart #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #I like the detail that Ness would dye her hair #but I always wondered what happened to it because AR/HW to security breach #so this is my guess that rabbit got rid of it #glitchtrap HATES a bad bitch winning #I agree with Mike it looks nice on her 🩵

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being "negative" about a bunny and refusing to apologize? I don't think I can really shorten this, so I'm sorry for the lack of a TL;DR :/ It's pretty long!! TW for animal death(and potentially animal abuse?)

My mom(42 F) has a habit of randomly bringing pets home. For context, she's a single mother with four kids, with me(17) being the oldest, alongside my sister("E",13) and my two brothers(7 and 4, not relevant to the story). My sister and I share a room and my brothers share one too. My mom works a job that involves sleeping at work and doesn't think it's worth it for us to rent a three bedroom, so she sleeps on the couch on her nights off.

The first time was mid-2020 when she brought home a feral kitten my grandpa found underneath his house. What was supposed to be a family pet quickly turned into a pet that was kept only to E's and my room. He had some sort of sinus issue where he snotted everywhere all the time, so snot was constantly needing to be cleaned and being found randomly on our things. The cat was eventually rehomed after a year because it scratched my sister really badly to the point that my mom was concerned she would need stitches(she didn't. the cat didn't like being pet / touched and my sister wouldn't respect its boundries).

The second time was another cat(2021) that followed my mom from her cat to her place of work. This was when I started getting frustrated with my mom randomly bringing home animals, since the same set up that happened last time happened again- except this time, the cat got old enough to spray, and my mom kept forgetting to get him fixed so our room just smelled fucking awful. This cat was also rehomed when I broke down after realizing it has sprayed all over my books. I told my mom he either needed to be fixed or she needed to get rid of him. He was gone the next week.

Then last year it happened again- except this time, with a puppy(2022). My aunt was looking to get a new dog and sent some puppy photos to my mom, which she cooed over and showed me. She told me she was considering bringing one home, which I instantly told her was a bad idea and went over all the cons. Mom seemed to agree. Then guess what happened to be an early Christmas gift.... -_-

My sister and I took charge on the dog. We got our brothers to agree on a name for him(anyone with younger siblings knows this is a BIG deal lmao), started attempting to crate train him(basically making sure he's okay with eventually being left alone without crying the whole time), and we were the only ones trying to potty train him. Our mom didn't stick to any of this(including choosing a new name??) and the dog still isn't potty trained, and I'm the only one other than my mom that doesn't refuse to clean up after him. The dog doesn't stay in our room like the other animals, but it took months for my sister and I to convince our mom to get a hook lock for our door so the dog wouldn't keep coming in and peeing. The dog didn't end up getting rehomed, but now regularly stays at our aunt's house way more than ours.

It's worth noting at this point that all of these pets were "family pets" according to mom, and she would get upset when me and E pointed out we were really the only one taking care of them. The dog evened out after a while and now it's mostly my mom and I doing the work when he's here, but the cats are still a point of tension for us.

And now. For the fucking bunny!! Jesus christ I'm sorry there's so much backstory to this!!

A week ago my sister comes into our room and wakes me up to tell me mom brought home a baby bunny. It was scary small(3.5 inches long not stretching, 2 weeks old), and wasn't moving much but was clearly alive. My mom said it ran into my Nana's yard after the dog next door scared it off, and it's pretty safe to assume the nest is destroyed. But instead of bringing the rabbit to a wildlife rehab or something, my mom brought it home and told my sister she could keep it. They then put it in a box with some grass and water and did no further research.

I was pretty livid, because 1. This is a WILD rabbit. That's a crime in my state, 2. I think it was insanely irresponsible for my mom to drop this on us, 3. This is not a pet and it's very likely it'll die in our care just from us not being experienced, and 4. On a very basic and selfish level, I didn't want to take care of this animal and I didn't want it in our room(which it had to be). But E has been asking for a bunny for years, so for once she wasn't on my side about a new pet being dropped on us. So I was pretty outnumbered.

I kept pushing for my mom to contact a professional at the very least to ask about its diet(it's very easy to kill baby bunnies by feeding them the wrong thing), and kept trying to get my sister to stop holding / petting it since rabbits can die of stress. My mom listened after a day and my sister never did. Tbh I also thought if my mom contacted a professional the pro would tell her to absolutely not keep the bunny? But it was never brought up in their convo, so I think my mom might have lied about it or something, idk.

I continued being "negetive" about the rabbit and my sister kicked me out of our room for it. I refused to care for it too, even though my mom kept insisting it was a "family" pet(without me it was just her and E taking care of it, and since it stayed in our room my brothers never really got to see it). To be honest I really didn't feel like I had a lot of options, and I thought if I didn't help then maybe they would get overwhelmed or something and decide to give it to a professional. But I still kept trying to give pet care advice, because I didn't want any harm to come to the bunny(for example, my sister likes our room to never have to ac on, but i made sure she was keeping it cool enough for the bunny).

Well... After four days, the bunny died. E was pretty heartbroken, obviously, and my mom was sad, but to be honest I'm just sort of bitter. I'm upset a rabbit died just because my mom wouldn't listen. For more context, I also thought bringing in the bunny was a bad idea because my sister recently lost her dad, and I knew if it didn't end well this would just add more grief to her life. I 100% don't think she's TA in this situation, even if she has frustrated me.

I'm still pretty pissed at my mom for all of this, so yesterday when she sat me down and told me I should apologize to E for how I behaved, I didn't take it well. She said my negetivity made it so E didn't fully enjoy her time with the bunny, and that if I had handled things differently maybe things would have tunred out better. I know E has been avoiding me, which started when we first got the bunny and she kicked me out of the room for being too negetive. I feel like she just needs time to process, and to be honest I don't think this is something I should apologize for, even if it is an apology just to make her feel better. It feels like that would be irresponsible of me? Idk. I told my mom none of this would have happened if SHE hadn't been so irresponsible and brought the bunny home to a grieving teenager, when there wasn't much of a chance of the bunny surviving with us in the first place, but tbh ever since her dad died I've been really trying to do right by E, so I second-guess myself a lot now.

So AITA for being negetive about the bunny and refusing to apologize? To be clear again I don't think E is TA here, but they're both upset with me so idk.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[teaberrii]

Chapter 2: Not Friends

You and Dan Heng are a match made in heaven until fate takes him away from you too soon. Years later, you think you moved on with a mutual friend who shared your grief and stuck with you during tough times until you meet a mysterious man with a striking resemblance to your past lover and a hidden motive. You’re determined to get rid of him, but how are you going to get rid of a god?

Dan Feng/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail crossover

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Support my writing

The hospital room is quiet except for the soft beeps of the sensors; the lights are dim as if not to disturb you, but you've been unconscious since the operation has finished. Your forehead, wrists, and part of your hands are wrapped in bandages, but your breathing is steady. Dan Feng stands beside your bed, his hands behind his back, looking at you with skepticism and curiosity.

Dan Feng and the rest of the dragon gods stood on a rocky terrain where the sky above was the galaxy. Not too far stood a large, metal circle where all the Chinese zodiac animal signs were engraved on the outer rim. The rabbit symbol was lit as it was still the Year of the Rabbit, but as soon as the clock struck midnight, the light flowed like liquid to the dragon. Its eyes were the last to light but shone the brightest. Then, a thunderous roar echoed in the distance as the gate shot beams of lightning toward its center before dispersing to the other animal signs. Now, there was a watery surface, and one could see images of the human realm—seascapes, landscapes, and cityscapes—slowly transitioning from one to the next.

“Sorry, I’m late!”

The dragons turned and saw Bailu wearing a padded coat, making her look like a walking marshmallow. While Zhongli was wondering why she didn't have knitted covers over her little horns on the top of her head like she sometimes did, that wasn't the first question on his mind. Bailu was riding something that no one recognized… but Dan Feng had an inkling of what the mysterious, rolling, box-like object was.

“...Is that a suitcase?” he asked.

“Yup! Ten points to Brother Moon!” Bailu got off her self-driving suitcase and looked at her other brothers. “Quiz time! Can any of you guess what this is for?”

“Please don't tell me humans use that to get around," Neuvilette said flatly. “It’s incredibly tacky.”

“Yes and no… and it’s not tacky! Do you know how expensive this is down there?”

“It seems like a convenient way of moving things from one place to another,” Zhongli said. “You’re very prepared, Bailu. But"—he pointed to her horns—"aren't you forgetting something?"

"As soon as we poof down there, we'll look like everyone else! So, I hope you won't miss your horns and tail too much." Noticing Neuvilette's curiosity on her padded coat, Bailu patted herself. "It's to keep warm! Who knows what the weather is like down there?"

Neuvilette gently poked it. "The design sure is something."

"Don't worry. I'll take all of you shopping when we get there. The last thing I want is for one of you to fall sick."

Dan Feng nodded toward the activate gate. “Well, now that everyone's here… Shall we go?”

“Wait!” Everyone turned to Bailu. Then, she snapped her fingers, and four journals appeared around her. “I’m the one with the most experience down there, so…” With a wave of her hand, the journals distributed themselves amongst her dragon brothers. "You’re going to find this handy!”

“...Bailu’s Guide to Thriving with the Humans?” Neuvilette wasn’t sure what to think of the title.

“It has everything you need to know to survive down there. I even included how you make some quick money because”—she flipped her hair—”I’m nice like that. And…!” Her face turned serious. “It’s not a guarantee that we’ll end up at the same place when we step through that portal. It’s pretty exciting, isn’t it?”

“...I question your definition of exciting,” Zhongli said. “That’s a problem if we aren’t together.”

“You said that the longer we stay down there, the more human we become,” Neuvilete said, looking at Bailu. “So, surely we can still use our powers if we are separated.”

“Mm…”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming,” Dan Feng said, not surprised.

“It’s true our powers won’t go poof right away, but it won’t be as strong. Based on experience, we have one chance to use them however we like. But, if you do something too powerful, you'll be completely drained.”

“Drained?”

“Ahem. If you could kindly refer to page two of your handy dandy journal…”

The three exchanged a glance before Zhongli’s journal flew open in front of them, and then it was Dan Feng who read: “After landing in the human realm, your godly powers will slowly start draining. It's like an oxygen tank of a scuba diver."

"...Oxygen tank? Scuba diver? Do I want to know what those things are?" Neuvilette asked.

“Keep reading,” Bailu deadpanned.

“Your power will start strong, but the more you use it, the faster it’ll drain,” Zhongli said. “Small tasks, such as telekinesis, will make it drain slowly. Bigger tasks, such as teleportation, will make it drain faster. Even if you do nothing, your power will still drain bit by bit.” Then, the journal closed itself.

“If we end up in different places," Bailu said, "you’ll want to use the last bit of your godly power to teleport to the Luofu House.”

“...The what now?”

Bailu pointed to her journal. “Page five, if you will.”

So, once again, Zhongli’s journal flew open. This time to page five.

“The Luofu House is Bailu’s home away from home,” he read. “Since none of you have a home to go to, Mistress Bailu will be honoured to have you in her humble abode…”

“Mistress…” Dan Feng began skeptically.

“...Bailu?” Neuvilette deadpanned.

“Y’all should be thankful that we have a place to stay when we get there!” Bailu said, puffing out her chest. “If it weren’t for my relentless hustling every dragon year, who knows what we’d have to resort to? Anyway, just remember: Don’t waste your power on something dumb.”

If it weren't for the sensors, Dan Feng would think you're dead, which means his efforts would've been wasted.

Dan Feng was the last one to step through the gate. The world around him spun and spun, and he heard overlapping sounds getting louder and louder until everything went quiet. Then, he heard the sound of rain. He opened his eyes and saw he’d ended up on a pedestrian bridge. It was dark but the street below was lit. There were shapes of mountains and buildings in the distance. Dan Feng was about to teleport to the Luofu House when he noticed a young boy, holding an umbrella, staring at him.

Dan Feng stared back until the kid finally caved and asked:

“Are you a cosplayer?”

A… what?

The kid looked at him and up and down. “It’s a really good costume! You look like I.L!”

Who?

“Don’t tell me you don’t know him!" the kid said, almost offended. "He’s that super cool character from the popular video game…”

The rest fell on deaf ears as Dan Feng glanced down. He was still in his usual outfit: a white sleeveless shirt with a cutout in the shape of a diamond on his chest. His long sleeves are unattached and have gold and green-coloured accents. Around his waist was a green sash with a teal seal adorned by golden leaves, and he wore black, fingerless gloves. The only normal thing about his outfit was the black pants, but the knee-high boots with white and golden accents would instantly draw someone's attention.

“I’m spending my allowance money to get him for sure!”

“It’s getting cold,” Dan Feng said. “You should head home.”

"Here." The kid held out his umbrella. "I'll give this to you because you did him justice!"

“...I’m fine.”

“Trying to act tough, are you, Mister?”

Dan Feng wasn’t expecting the cheekiness, but he slightly smiled out of amusement. "You need it more than I do."

“Well, okay, if you say so. Bye, Mister! It was cool seeing you!”

After the kid ran off, Dan Feng suddenly heard a deafening bang. He turned to the road below and saw a car on the highway below swerving to avoid a truck that had lost control.

“I spy with my little eye... not a soul to take but a god?"

Well, great. Everything was so much better with Sampo around.

The Reaper hopped off the ledge of the bridge. “How convenient that you happened to end up here. I know you dragons have your agenda… but care to join me for some soul-taking before you leave?”

“No.”

“Ouch. Not even a 'maybe'?" Sampo shrugged. "Well, suit yourself.”

Then, he was gone.

Dan Feng was about to snap his fingers when he suddenly heard a voice. A female voice. It was faint and weak, but it was what she said that made him stop.

“...Dan Heng.”

After he and Sampo saved you, Dan Feng was left to fend for himself. He lied to the people dressed in uniform, which he now knew as paramedics and law enforcement (thanks to Bailu’s guide), and was allowed to be in the room with you after your surgery.

Without thirty minutes of being in the human realm, Dan Feng had broken one of the biggest rules known to gods. Getting involved with humans is one thing, but saving their life? At least Sampo also bears some responsibility. It couldn’t have happened without his help, which makes Dan Feng wonder why Sampo had agreed to it. Just for kicks? For entertainment? Or… Do you have something to do with Dan Heng’s untimely death?

Dan Feng leans closer to you. Who are you…? And what relationship did you have with his brother? Can you be her reincarnation? Dan Feng has to know. Because if you are, he will be the one to kill you. He clenches his fists as he thinks of her, the cowardly woman who betrayed him and his brother. The woman who robbed Dan Feng of rationality because he was so hopelessly in love with her. But, his brother had been no different.

Suddenly, the door swings open, and a dishevelled-looking man runs to your bedside. He immediately takes your hand and says your name with tears in his eyes.

“...Can you hear me? Can—” He stops as soon as he looks at Dan Feng. He stands upright and his eyes go wide as if he’s seen a ghost. “...Who… Dan Heng?”

Oh? Does this man know his brother, too? 

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” the man asks. “Who the fuck are you?”

“The man who saved this young woman’s life,” Dan Feng says calmly. “Now, let me ask you the same question. Who the fuck are you?”

“Her fiancé,” is the bitter reply.

“Fiancé? Then, you should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you?” The man walks up to him. “Seriously. Who are you? Why do you look… Why the hell do you look so much like Dan Heng?”

Well, Dan Feng can’t tell the truth, but as he knows next to nothing about his brother’s life in the human realm, he doesn’t want to be caught in a web of lies.

“Can’t tell you,” Dan Feng says, a little snarkily. “Care to tell me who that is?”

The man is about to say something but your weak, faint groan interrupts him. Dan Feng glances at you while the man is immediately back at your side.

“You’re awake…! Oh, thank the heavens! Let me call the doctor!”

Dan Feng is mildly amused when your eyes land on him, and your eyes widen in alarm, staring at him as if in a catatonic stupor. Your face grows more ashen—if that's even possible, and your mouth slightly opens and closes as if you’re a fish out of water. Dan Feng almost smiles at what he’s seeing. How cute.

Finally, he hears your soft, weak voice:

“You…”

Your fiancé steps in front of Dan Feng and says:

“...I appreciate your help, but you can leave now.”

The door opens, and a young doctor walks in followed by a nurse. After he and the nurse conduct a few tests, he says:

“Your vitals are stable.” He smiles at you. “You’re very lucky, judging from the state you came in.”

“Is there any medication she should take?”

Your fiancé glares at Dan Feng, but he ignores it.

“Oh, yes. We’ll prescribe those to her soon. She should also stay at the hospital for a few days so we can monitor her condition. She may be stable now, but there might be some internal issues that will arise.”

“You might want to check as soon as possible. She was looking quite pale earlier… like she saw a ghost,” Dan Feng says, looking at you. “I hope I’m just being overprotective, and it’s nothing serious.”

“You...!”

Dan Feng gives your fiancé a deadpan look. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Before Dan Feng walks out the door, he briefly hears the nurse explain to your fiancé how Dan Feng had pretty much saved your life.

Dan Feng is outside of the hospital when he takes out Bailu’s guide. Now… What in the world is he going to do now? He has no money, plan, or connections to get out of his current situation. He glances at the hospital. Well, maybe he has a connection or two. But right now, he's a homeless god in the human realm. He can imagine the look on Neuvilette’s face. Skimming through Bailu’s guide, he finds something interesting. Let’s see what he can learn about making quick money and something called hotels and motels…

◆◆◆

You can’t get that man’s face out of your mind. You’ve been staring at the white ceiling for the past thirty minutes. But every time you close your eyes, you see Dan Heng. Or… so you think. The door opens, and your fiancé walks in. After closing the door, he walks up to your bedside and pulls up a chair.

“...Still awake?”

“Who…” you say quietly. “Who was that man?”

“...The one who looked like Dan Heng?”

“It can’t…” Tears are streaming down your face. “It can’t be him. I—”

Your fiancé holds your hand. “It’s not. He’s… He’s just someone who looks a lot like him. That’s all.”

“I thought… I thought I was dead.”

“You’ll never see him again.” You slowly turn your head to see a hard look in his eyes. “Trust me. I promise you won’t.” He looks down as if guilty. “I… It’s my fault that this happened. This shouldn’t have happened!”

You watch as he breaks down in front of you, too tired to console him. But, should you even?

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “It’s… I see that necklace, and it feels like you haven’t fully moved on.”

“...Dan Heng will always be someone special to me,” you say, and he slowly looks up. “That’s not ever going to change. But, I chose to move forward with you.” You look back at the ceiling, too tired to chide him again for pawning the necklace. “Whatever is on your mind, I hope you’ll be open and communicate with me instead of doing something so childish. It hurts both of us.”

“...I know. I understand.” After a small pause, he slightly smiles. “The police are already launching a full investigation into the accident.”

You turn back. “What about the other driver?”

“He’s also hospitalized, but his injuries aren’t as severe as yours."

You look back up at the ceiling, remembering the voices you heard. One of them sounded exactly like Dan Heng's doppelganger. Was it just a coincidence that he was there? Why was he there?

“It’s getting late.” Your fiancé kisses your head. “Try getting some sleep, okay? Let’s talk in the morning.”

You think about asking him to stay, but you know he has work in the morning as do you.

“...Did anyone find my phone?” you ask.

"It's on the nightstand, but... I doubt you'll get it to work. It's damaged pretty badly." He gives you another kiss. "I’ll call in about your condition to your boss tomorrow. Don’t worry about anything, and just get some much-needed rest, okay?”

You wish you can. But, you want to scream as the only person you can think about is that man. Who is he…?

◆◆◆

As soon as Dan Feng walks up to a set of glass doors, they immediately slide open. The large jewellery shop—with a white and beige colour scheme—is lit with LED lights in the ceilings. With his hands behind his back, Dan Feng slowly walks while looking at the diamonds and gold displayed on the necks and hands of mannequins in glass cases. It oddly reminds him of home.

“Um, hello…” Dan Feng faces forward and sees a tall, well-dressed, young man. His hair is slicked back, and he has bright blue eyes. The man looks Dan Feng up and down as if curious and internally questioning the strange outfit. “Can I help you?”

“I have something I’d like appraised.”

“Appraised? Oh, well…” He looks over his shoulders where there are female employees who are also well-dressed. They slightly shake their heads.

“I guarantee it'll be worth your while.”

“Then, can I see what it is?”

Good thing Dan Feng didn’t come to the human realm completely empty-handed. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ring made out of pure gold and white jade. As soon as he hands it to the man, the female employees—out of curiosity—walk over.

The man tosses the ring into the air. After catching it, he pulls out a coin. Then, he gently tries scratching it. Getting no marks, he holds it up to the light. Throughout all of this, Dan Feng watches him carefully.

Finally, the man hands the ring back with both hands. “Would you please follow me to the back room, sir?”

“...Who is he?” Dan Feng hears one of the female employees whisper to the other.

“I don’t know… but he looks quite young.”

“Does this mean that ring is genuine…? His family must be rich.”

“Must be nice… to be young and rich.”

"He doesn't look half bad either..."

Dan Feng continues walking, pretending he heard nothing.

Past a dark blue curtain was a treasure shop that many knew about. A warmly lit chandelier was the shop's main light source, but the pastel glass window—in the shape of a green, diamond—also allowed in natural light. Everyone, including those not from Sumeru, knew about Khalid, the jeweller. But not many knew of his other talents. It was after hours, but one could hear the sound of metal on metal in a small room at the back of the shop. Then, it stopped. A young Dan Feng sat upright and lifted the ring, which was once a piece of gold, into the lantern light.

“My, great piece of work you have there, Master Dan Feng.” A tall man with slicked-back, short brown hair and an angular face walked up to him. “You learn fast! All we need to do now is to put in the jade!”

“It’s thanks to your teachings that I was able to improve in such a short time, Khalid.” Dan Feng put the ring on the table. “I appreciate this.”

“Well, it’s not every day you hear a young prince wants to learn metalsmithing. At first, I thought you were joking!”

“Yes, well... One must continue learning new skills to keep up with the times."

" But… I have to ask… Is this for a woman, perhaps? Or, why so much effort for a jade ring?”

Dan Feng slightly smiled and looked down. “Perhaps one day I’ll give it to a woman I love. Perhaps not." He looked at Khalid. "For now, I only wish to learn the skills.”

“So mysterious, Master Dan Feng. Is your brother like this, too? Why don’t you bring him next time?”

“...Perhaps.”

Dan Feng sits on a black chair as he watches the man do a complete appraisal of the ring. Once the man is finished, he turns and gently puts the ring on the glass counter.

"24K gold and imperial jade... It's not every day you see this combination."

“...I’d prefer if you get to the point. How much are you willing to pay for this?”

“R-Right…! Well…” The man says a number: "Shall we wire you the money?"

Dan Feng briefly remembers reading something about that in Bailu’s journal, but considering his circumstances, he says:

“...I have something else in mind.”

And that's how Dan Feng leaves with two large metal cases filled with stacks of money.

◆◆◆

You’re still feeling groggy by the time morning comes. You didn’t sleep well, but you’re still feeling more upbeat than yesterday, so you take that as a good sign. That morning, you’re talking to the police officers investigating your case. They’ve just finished their questioning when you ask what’s been on your mind for almost the entire night.

“Is there any CCTV footage of the accident? There’s something I want to check.”

“Unfortunately not. What is it that you want to know? Maybe we can provide an answer for you.”

“...That night… before I was found, I’m certain there were other people with me. Two men to be exact.”

“Men? Were they passengers?”

“No. I heard their voices right before I passed out. I’m sure of it.”

The officers glance at each other. “...Well… There was a man who found you. But he was the only one.”

“By man… was he dressed like… like he just came out of a video game?”

“Yeah, pretty much. There was no one else around.”

“If we find out anything, we’ll be sure to let you know,” the other officer says.

After they leave the room, you reach for your phone—where the screen is cracked—but no matter what you do, it won't turn on. You're about to call for a nurse when the door opens, and March cries your name.

“Oh, thank God you’re okay!” Her hug is a little too tight, but you welcome it nonetheless.

Stelle closes the door behind her and walks up to you. “Your man was kind enough to let us know what happened since he figured we’d try to get in touch with you. How are you feeling?”

“Better than yesterday,” you say, letting March go.

Your friends each pull up a chair. “It’s all over the news… the accident,” March says.

"They found out he was speeding," you say, reiterating the details of what the police told you earlier. "...And he lost control of his vehicle."

"At least he'll get slapped with a fine," Stelle says.

“They… They were saying it’s a miracle that you survived,” March says quietly.

“...It does feel like a miracle, honestly.”

Again, you remember the voices from yesterday:

“...Save her.”

“And here I thought you didn’t like getting involved with humans.”

“...Hey!”

You turn to your friends.

“Are you okay?” Stelle asks.

“Yeah… It’s just… When the accident happened, I don’t think I was alone.”

“Not alone…? What do you mean?”

“I heard voices,” you say quietly. “Two different voices. And one of them… One of them sounded like... Dan Heng's doppelganger.”

"Who?"

You aren't surprised that your friends spoke at the same time. Then, you tell them about the mysterious man last night.

“...He saved you?” Stelle asks as if unable to believe it.

“If I’m right… he was telling another man to save me.”

March looks around the room as if he may be hiding somewhere. “Where is this guy now? Did he come back?”

“I doubt he’s going to come back,” you say. “...And that’s for the best.”

Suddenly, the door opens. Thinking it’s a nurse or doctor, you turn, and your face goes pale.

“You’re looking a lot better than yesterday.” The footsteps get closer. “More… alive, I should say.”

March’s jaw drops. “Holy… shit.”

The man is no longer wearing his eye-catching outfit from last night but a white, slim-fit shirt with a black blazer and gold buttons. He looks like he's ready for a business meeting with matching black pants and shoes. He also has a silver watch on his left wrist.

“Don’t come closer!” You make a gesture for him to stop, and he surprisingly does. You’re afraid to look at him. What in the world is he doing here?

Dan Feng glances at Stelle and March who are staring at him like they’ve seen a ghost.

“Did I come at a bad time?” he asks.

“Dan…” Stelle chokes out. “Dan Heng?”

Dan Feng slightly narrows his eyes at them. Are these people his brother's friends, too?

Finally, you look him in the eyes. Dan Heng's eyes are blue. This man… This imposter… His eyes are green.

“What do you want?”

Dan Feng looks at you. “A favour. In return for me saving your life.” Then, he walks up to your bedside and extends his hand in front of you. “My name is Dan Feng.” You almost want to pinch yourself. Is this a dream? It has to be. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Dan… Dan Feng?”

"Is there something wrong with my name?”

March quickly shakes her head. “Ah, no… It’s… um…”

Dan Feng looks at you “...And you are?”

Instead of answering him, you ask: “...Do you… Do you know someone named Dan Heng?”

Dan Feng smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Never heard of him. Is he the reason why you’re so jittery?”

“...He was a friend,” Stelle answers for you. “A friend of ours who passed away a few years ago.”

“...Is that so? I’m sorry for your loss.”

“You look exactly like him,” March says. “Even your names are similar! This… This can’t be a coincidence!”

“Oh, but I assure you it is.” Dan Feng looks at you. “So… Am I getting a name, Sweet Pea?”

“...What did you just call me?”

This man may look like Dan Heng, but his personality makes you believe you’re talking to a completely different person.

“Well, what else am I supposed to call you? You haven’t given me your name.” After reluctantly introducing yourself, Dan Feng slightly smiles and says your name. “Seems like you’re not a fan of nicknames.”

Just like the woman he wants to kill.

“No,” you say coldly, glaring at him. “I’m not. Especially from a stranger.”

"I suppose we still are." Then, genuinely: "I apologize for my actions.” You turn away from him just as he slides a hand inside his pocket. “So, I’ve been answering all of your questions. It’s only fair if you start answering mine.”

You glance at him. “What could you possibly want from me?”

Before Dan Feng can answer, he hears: 

“Get away from her.”

Dan Feng calmly turns around and sees your agitated fiancé. Even as he hurries up to you, Dan Feng doesn’t move.

“Looks like you also didn’t get a good night’s sleep.”

Your fiancé glares at him. “I told you to stay away from her.” Then, he leans over to check on your injuries when Dan Feng notices a woman’s lipstick in his back pocket.

“Did you?” Dan Feng asks, and your fiancé leans upright. “I can’t recall… Maybe you dreamt about it instead.”

Stelle and March glance at each other.

“What do you want with her?”

Dan Feng smiles. But again, it doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks at you. “I’d like her to be my tour guide. I’m new to the city, you see. Just landed yesterday… and witnessed that terrible accident.”

“Tour guide?” March asks in disbelief.

“No,” your fiancé answers. “Not happening.”

Dan Feng almost rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you let the lady answer for herself?”

“...Could all of you give us some privacy?”

"Yes," your fiancé says sourly while shooting Dan Feng a nasty look. "Leave."

You look at your fiancé. "I meant you."

Taken aback at your statement, your fiancé is about to retort when Stelle says:

“Let’s give them some space, okay? Might be easier for them to talk and sort things out.”

As Stelle gently pushes your fiancé out the door, March is behind them, mouthing what’s on her mind:

“Details! Deeetails!”

Once the door closes, you say:

“Let’s not play games, shall we?”

“Games? I’m not playing.”

You scoff. “Tour guide? Really?”

“All right, fine. I’ll let you in a little secret.” He slightly leans closer, surprising you. “Just like I remind you of someone you used to know, you remind me of someone I used to know.”

You narrow your eyes. “...Who?”

“Can’t reveal all my secrets, can I? But, I can tell you that she was someone dear to me. Though it’s been a very long time, I haven’t forgotten about her.” Your hands clutch the blanket. “As I’m new to the city, I just like to make a friend or two. And, I just happened to save your life that day, so… Why can’t we be friends?”

You finally manage to hold his stare. “...You say you saved me that night. How? Frankly, I don’t think I’m supposed to be alive right now.”

Dan Feng leans upright. “You have a good head on your shoulders.” You almost roll your eyes. When he stays quiet, you cross your arms. “I’m not going to just take your word for it if you can’t explain what happened that night.”

“Are you always this stubborn?”

You frown. “Answer the question.”

Dan Feng gives you a deadpan look. “I heard a crash. I called for an ambulance before heading over and seeing you half-dead in the driver’s seat. I picked the lock and managed to get you out of there right when the paramedics arrived.”

“...Someone was with you. Another man. He said something about getting involved… with humans. What was that all about?”

Dan Feng slightly tilts his head. “...Ah… Just an inside joke. He helped me carry you out of the car. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

“The car went down a small hill,” you say, remembering what the police told you. “You’re telling me you went down a small hill on a dark and rainy night on foot to save a stranger?”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t?”

“That’s…”

“Compassion… Kindness… Is that not human nature?”

“You’re taking things a bit far.”

Dan Feng slightly leans closer. “...Or is it human nature to only act out of their own interests?”

There’s something in his eyes that you can’t put your finger on. Something… personal?

“...I don’t want to be friends,” you say as he leans upright. “I’ll show you around the city. After that, we’re even.”

“Deal.” Then, he reaches into his shirt pocket “...Here”—he hands you a brand new phone—”you could use this.”

“...I can’t accept—”

“Oh, stop acting polite.” He takes your wrist and puts the phone into your hand. “You need a new one, anyways.”

You press a button and it turns on. It’s already fully charged.

“See you when you're better.” He walks halfway across the room before he looks over his shoulder. “...By the way, do you wear lipstick?”

“Um… not often. Why?”

Dan Feng turns around. “...Just curious.”

And then he walks out without turning back.

Chapter 3

Tag list: @lunavixia

#dan feng #dan feng x you #dan feng x reader #imbibitor lunae x reader #imbibitor lunae

[talesfrommedinastation]

How the Bad Batch got white-washed: a script

(Don't know if this is how it actually happened, but it's my personal theory that came out after some wiiiild discussions on Discord. I don't believe this actually happened, but I do think liberties were taken to secure audience members and ratings. Enjoy, my little crumpets!)

CW: Everything. Just...at this point, in between fics and art filled with violence and Naughty Times and Doug's irrational ramblings about Toaster Strudel and SEC football, you should probably leave if you're under 18.

-----

(Be Star Wars animation studio, probably Florida, who knows)

Studio Executive: Yo, animator, we got a problem here.

Animator: Yes?

Studio Executive: These clones, the new guys in this new show, 'The Bad Batch'…they all look alike. All bronzed, good looking guys with dark hair and thick shoulders. 

Animator: Yes, that’s, um, kind of what clones are, sir? They are genetic duplicates of an indigenous actor from New Zealand. 

Studio Executive: That’s the problem.

Animator: Say what?

Studio Executive: Who is watching this damn show? Who is paying for Disney + subscriptions? Who is our main money-making audience here?

Animator: Um, I guess…families? And, uh, lonely single adults?

Studio Executive: EXACTLY. And you know what is declining, besides civility in an ever-crumbling society? 

Animator: What?

Studio Executive: THE BIRTH RATE.

Animator: Uh, actually--

Studio Executive: YOU KNOW IT, I KNOW IT, THE WORLD KNOWS IT. DAMN GREAT RECESSION AND PANDEMIC AND CRUSHING REALITY GETTING MILLENIALS ALL (legitimately) SCARED OF HAVING BABIES. WE NEED MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE TO START BREEDING LIKE RABBITS IF WE WANT TO HAVE A STEADY POPULATION OF AUDIENCE CONSUMERS OF DISNEY PRODUCTS.

Animator: Well, that seems aggressively eugenics-oriented, with a tinge of classism.

Studio Executive: WHATEVER I MAKE THE BIG BUCKS SHUT YOUR ART SCHOOL MOUTH. Now, redesign those new clones!

Animator: To…what?

Studio Executive: First of all, the tech guy! What’s his name?

Animator: ….Tech. 

Studio Executive: WELL THAT SHIT’S EASY TO MARKET. Anywho, get rid of the tan and the muscles and the thick dark hair. No nerd looks like that, come on. Make him a skinny white guy with receding hair, slap some hipster glasses on him too. Actually, you know what? Meander your ass over to the accounting department on the second floor and draw a few of the weirdos conducting audits in there. Base the tech guy off of them, not a buff, golden, Maori man.

Animator: But the guys in accounting look NOTHING like Temuera Morrison! This is just wrong!

(pictured above: Not the average CPA in the USA. That rhymed)

Studio Executive: Bro, get real. Are these lonely single ladies and the exhausted moms watching this show with their kids going to run into Mr. Morrison while working their office job? You think Boba Fett’s tanned self sits at the corner cubicle and tries to hit on them when they go to the copier? What are you smoking?! And on that note, make that tech character sassy, smart, and nurturing! Make him the perfect guy!

Animator: Why? I am so confused.

("Wanna come look at some Excel spreadsheets with me, baby?")

Studio Executive: Because we want all the 30-something ladies watching this show to get so hot and bothered over Tech that they decide they need to have this clown’s babies, like, now! And they’ll run over to the accounting office, drunkenly hook up with one of the auditors in a broom closet after Thirsty Thursday, and boom! Another consumer born, 9 months later!

Animator: This is sounding astonishingly like eugenics.

Studio Executive: WHATEVER. Same goes for the other clones! Make that tall bald one look like the aggressively outgoing construction worker that’s laying cement outside of the accounting office! The one that always wolf-whistles and screams ‘Jesteś piękna! Beautiful like model!’ at every woman! The one that all the ladies in the office watch and go ‘Oh, yes, take that shirt off, it’s a hot day today, daddy’. Watching that fun guy on this show means those ladies with THROW THEMSELVES at guys like this! And bam! MORE CONSUMERS FOR DISNEY BORN. 

(Wrecker has raw contractor energy. ::lays pipe::)

Animator: I am not enjoying this conversation’s direction.

Studio Executive: CAN IT AND TAKE IT UP WITH HR. Now the leader, I know we’re going with Rambo, and I’m okay with it, but give him a little extra smolder and snatch that waist a bit. I want to go for a ‘hot waiter at Cooper’s Hawk that slips you his number after you tip him 40%’, vibe. 30-something ladies love Cooper’s Hawk, there’s been market research, do it. 

(He'll judge your love of pinot grigio, but not how you pay him, wink wink)

Animator: No.

Studio Executive: SHUT UP AND DO YOUR JOB. Now, the last two…bald, calm guy that always seems tired but is still constantly there for you? Basically, every exhausted Millennial man right now? Make him extra pale because he hasn’t left his condo since 2020 and his only social outlet is playing STEAM games with his other lonely friends. Perfect. Job well done. 

(He uses his scomp to play 'Dave the Diver'. You know he does)

Animator: Yeah, his name is Echo and he– 

Studio Executive: Good, make him like I said, and trust me, ladies will see men like him and want to fix them, and then promptly ride said men like it’s Derby Day. More consumers born, we will have a bumper crop of tickets purchased at Disneyworld and Galaxy's Edge within the next couple of years. Excellent. 

Animator: Sir, you are a sick, sick man. 

Studio Executive: Speaking of which, the last guy. Just make him Clint Eastwood. 

Animator:…Clint Eastwood. Isn’t he old as hell?

(Oh, Daddy Warcrimes, you and your toothpick are the Internet's Everything)

Studio Executive: Yeah, but, daddy issues abound amongst many of our consumer audience. And this is a show about daddy issues. And hopefully, by watching this, we will turn more people in daddies and KEEP OUR CONSUMER NUMBERS UP ON DISNEY +! 

Wait, where are you going?!

Animator: I’m resigning and joining the Peace Corps, I can’t do this anymore.

#tbb #clone force 99 #the bad batch #head canon #bad batch white washing #crosshair tbb #hunter tbb #wrecker tbb #echo tbb #tech tbb #questionable #questionable choices #daddy warcrimes #ryan-from-accounting #do it for the consumers #the clone wars #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #star wars #star wars headcanons

[roninreverie]

Big Mama's Chinese Roots and a Connection to Tang Shen?

First off, to preface... this whole thing started because @caro-rolo figured out that the Mystic Portal Key doohickeys in Rise are actually just some kind of fancy compasses that have North, South, East, and West written in Chinese characters.

Now, the first thought I had to learning this was "Tang Shen" because in the TMNT universe where Japanese influence is pretty heavy, she is notable for having a Chinese name.

She is also the love interest of Hamato Yoshi in many different variations. Though in Rise, that role belongs most notably to Big Mama, with Tang Shen being a blink and you miss it easter-egg credit on the cover of Jistu for Justice:

Mama is also most likely the source of where Splinter got his mystic portal key, and she even has one of her own in her office. Judging by how much control she has over the Hidden City, from the Battle Nexus, to demolition derbies, to train stations, to crime rings, she seems to have a large control over just who all is in her city, and these keys could very well be something she controls directly.

Now, Big Mama has all the set ups for having typical TMNT Japanese roots. Even her home estate seen in "Hidden City Job" has a very Asian look to it inside and out:

Plus, the whole "her being a yokai", makes it easy to assume she is based on some kind of Japanese spider demon like Jorōgumo, Yatsukahagi/Tsuchigumo, or Ōgumo, etc.

But "Yokai" can also be used to describe the Chinese term "yaoguai" which is basically the same definition.

So if Mama were a Chinese spider demon instead, the first one who comes up on a quick Google search is "zhī zhū jīng" or "spider woman". These are 7 spider demon sisters who fight Sun Wukong in Monkey King: Journey to the West.

Here, the spiders changed into seven beautiful young ladies who wanted to eat the flesh of Sun Wukong's master, Tang Seng, which is said to make the consumer immortal and forever young.

"Tang Seng"... "Tang Shen"... sounds pretty similar.

And aren't there also some animation ties from ROTTMNT to Lego Monkey King? Tangent side note, but there's a spider demon queen in that universe too and guess what? SHE'S PURPLE!

And where did Mama and Lou Jistsu first meet? On set of one of his movies "Crouching Shrimp Hidden Tiger Prawn" in 1984. A movie where an actress like Tang Shen could very well have ties to? (We'll come back to this at the end.)

Another chip in the Chinese vs Japanese bucket is Big Mama's Security Team:

At first, I thought their distinct faces represented Blue Japanese Hannya/ Oni masks, but what if they're supposed to be Chinese Nuo masks instead? Not unlike Zuko's Blue Spirit mask in ATLA.

You could also argue these guys are wielding a sort of Qinglong Ji or Fangtian Ji, which are Chinese spear or polearm weapons. (But if anyone knows what those spear thingies are really called, please let me know, it's driving me nuts!)

...

In conclusion, I got sent on a massive rabbit hole because of a fictional compass and regret nothing! 🧭

Now what is Big Mama's connection to Tang Shen? Are they related? (The actress does look a bit purple.) They could be sisters like the 7 sisters of the Monkey King lore. Did Mama seek to get rid of Tang Shen so she could get closer to Lou Jitsu herself? Are they the same person? Is Big Mama based on Japanese or Chinese folklore? Did any of this make any sense at all?

Let me know what you think, and thanks for joining me for another deep dive into another one of my random ROTTMNT theories!

EDIT: (PS- Sorry, if the "read more" messes the order of these up, but the scroll was annoying me in my own tags.) 😅

#rottmnt #rottmnt theory #rottmnt big mama #rottmnt tang shen #lego monkey king and monkey king journey to the west mentions #the friggin compass threw me for a loop man #long post #roninreverie #roninrambles

[ask-humphrey-bone]

Did you have any pets while alive? If you could have a pet now, what would it be?

Hello to you! ❤️🗡️

I did! I do remember some hounds when I was very young, always causing such havoc around my Lord father’s place in Richmond. Can’t for the life of me remember the names though. Think we got rid of them after my lady mother died… those dogs were for her, a gift from the King when I was born, the first and only son in their world, you see. My Lord father wasn’t fussed either way. Kept her out of his hair, if anything. Gave her something positive to focus on.

Them greyhounds came from the Boleyn clan so, uh, was best to do away with them bitches when the King did his own bitch. Anyways..

Come to think of it, I was never really too keen on pets at all once I was married and whatnot. In my defence, I had enough going on - what with a new bride, new home, all the upkeep and responsibilities of it all. Quite a feat for such little shoulders, let me have it known! Then there’s the missus who was highly disinterested in anything English and with a pulse. So, uh, guess it’s safe to say, she wouldn’t have cared for a four legged friend any more than I didn’t.

Now to the second, and more exciting part, of your ask. Which I should thank you for, by the way. I’m casting my mind back a fair bit; think it was Clarence who said that he’d get my ‘poor soul’ a bunny rabbit in which could nestle against me head. Something like that, but more eloquent. And coughing on smoke. So maybe that, a little rabbit. Something small and cuddly. Something manageable. Or maybe a little goldfish in his bowl; always stuck swimming, and swimming, in the tiniest of confinements; being ignored…

Any idea of a dream pet of your own?

Humphrey x

#mr cheese has spoken #bbc ghosts #sir humphrey bone #humphrey bone #clarence

[paramorearchived]

September 12, 2012

Transcript:

to be happy now.

fair warning. i am allllll over the place tonight! so hopefully, you guys can follow along down these rabbit trails...

we're officially a little over half-way through the tracking of this album. it feels real-er than ever. i'm starting to understand all these songs more and where they've actually come from... for a minute, it was such a whirlwind of inspiration, emotion, and sweat. now that we've spent some time getting to know the album and growing with it, i can finally tell myself it's real. i can just almost tell myself that it's alright to relax. 

have you ever been that way? haven't you ever said "things are so great right now that i know something's bound to go wrong... any minute." just so you know, i might be the QUEEN of that phrase. maybe it's part of being a total realist? maybe it's just the fact that i've been through some rough situations and i know how awful it feels not to be prepared for the worst? it's been a while since i didn't have my fists in a ball... since i wasn't sort of on the defense, waiting for the attack. if there was an actual good reason for why i lived that way for so long i'd give it to you but now that i'm (hopefully!) passed that, it's a little unclear as to why that would ever be worth it. because now i wake up every morning and i know for certain that there are at least a few good people around me, if not physically then just by an iPhone somewhere, who could look me in the eye and tell me that they love me. i've got just enough blood in my veins and air in my lungs to know that i am definitely not dead. and that could be enough to say outloud, to myself... "You're OK!" 

another thing to consider is what if there is a part of us that doesn't fully want to be satisfied? what if there's something that asks us: if everything is "OK" then what do we have to strive for? to LIVE for, even? that's the constant duel in my spirit! i want life to go smoothly but when it's all working out... i'm sort of bored. ugh. it reminds me of a lyric by mewithoutYou that i've always connected with so deeply. "All I want is to want one thing." how beautifully that depicts our nature as humans to want everything, sometimes multiple things at once that couldn't be more opposite... and in the end get upset with the whole thing and want to get rid of desire altogether. (i digress!) 

what i've had to learn during this last year and a half, is that i might actually just be happy with where life is heading at this point. doesn't mean i'll always feel this way. nothing's perfect... at least for very long! anyway, it might just be OK to be happy now. right now in this very moment. i should just go with it, right? by the way, if i don't sound completely insane to you after 3 paragraphs which all are complete contradictions to each other then i appreciate your patience and flexible perspective. 

all this to say, i feel happy and i feel like my soul is actually being fulfilled. not only by the making of this album but also by the few close relationships i have in my life that have either stood the test of time or have bloomed from virtually nothing since entering whatever phase of my life i'm in at the moment. i'm not waiting for the sky to fall because i know that while the sky is staying up there in it's place, i have my opportunity to live. no more wasting time, hope, emotions, on worrying when, if, or how i could ever be let down again. i'm going to tell myself it's okay to be happy now.

i guess i want to finish this off by asking you what fulfills you. what is it that reaches your soul? it doesn't have to be some profound thing or even anything cool. if you can hold that one thing in your mind and know that you're exactly who you are supposed to be in that moment, then that could be all you need to get from point A to point B. maybe i want to finish THAT by saying, let's all listen to "One Thing" by One Direction and sing it to each other. you've got that one thing and guess what? it doesn't even need to be named. cause you just know and so does One Direction.

ok, i don't know how you made it to the end of this.... love you, mean it.  hayley

#paramore #hayley williams #2012 #livejournal #self titled

[transingthoseformers]

Breeding Shockwave anon here I had to divide in two cus it got so long :') i had to put a lot of exposition for things to be in character im sorry @_@ (also looked up ladybug conception just cus I can't get rid of TFP Shockers being an half insecticon it just feels logical

A TFP AU I have (as an excuse for my sins) is that because the omegalock is no longer operable and the Allspark is deep in space, Becauseprimus' creative ability was stretched so thin and the planet is so badly damaged, when the Allspark is retrieved it can only slowly heal the planet, but is unviable for creating newsparks now The remaining cybertronians on earth unknowingly adapt to have reproduction methods like humans (this is even a thing in G1 with the Insecticons that I think has been forgotten cus I've never seen anything like that anywhere so why not bring it back through shameless excuses for robot smut? :3) No one noticed until Shockwave comes in the planet and scans himself one day for routine maintenance. the scanner shows that something is different in his frame and he investigates what these new components are Shockwave completes his investigation and does scans on everyone he can (Knockout and Soundwave being the easiest with a simple excuse of inspiration for vehicon upgrades). He realises everyone he scanned has similar equipment as him and makes a theoretical guess that anyone who'd been on earth has this equipment, cus Skylynx and Darksteel don't have the anomalous equipment while practically everyone else including Predaking does Shockwave looks into the human internet to understand whether such equipment is present in human biology and he delves into the rabbit hole of reproduction and sexual pleasure Shockwave uses his newly dubbed spike and valve more often as the thought of creating life within your body entices his thicc science brain When he FINALLY tells Optimus, ratchet, Knockout and Megatron of the interesting news (with Soundwave as record keeper for this interaction) theyre all perplexed and confused and unsure BUT once Shockers reminds them of the fact that the allspark is weak and no newsparks are yet to be made they reconsider the idea and an agreement is made that a test is done to see the results of this discovery Shockwave ask Soundwave as tribute for the first ever trial of coupling and Soundwave accepts with no hesitation (which Megatron is sus of) shockwave is Soundwave's first ever handjob and Soundwave gets to leave early while Shockwave takes the liquid that came from his new piece Soundwave is too curious and he tunes in to the lab's security camera to see Shockwave three knuckles deep and moaning for is life in a secluded part of the lab it takes a couple decacycles (weeks) but soundwave points it out that Shockwave has been acting out of the usual (and just the previous cycle he tried to take a bite of out of a vehicon) so he does scans according to human research in pregnancy and lo and behold he's concieved three sparklings

In this case it was Unicron who saved their species tbh

Shockwave finds the internet, and his life will never be the same ever again

Megs is right to be suspicious of that but hey at this point it's beneficial

Fdshkhhbj dIDN'T EXPECT THAT DID HE

This has potential to be quite interesting as hell

#tfp shockwave #he's the star of the show ok #valveplug #💃🏾 anon

[daandyli0n]

so. started watching a few Animatronic Restoration videos, and got a fun idea for a Fnaf au:

someone decides to try and fix up the Freddy's animatronics, and documents the full thing. ends up making paranormal content alongside their restorations because Ghosts™

they somehow even get into contact with Henry to get blueprints to figure out how to fix these guys. Henry decides "fuck it, why not?"

hell, Springtrap gets involved at some point. the second he gets involved with this, all the animatronics lose their shit, especially Fredbear. but this still happens pre-Ghost Realization.

the restorer is babysitting a bunch of ghost kids + keeping Springtrap from doing his Shenanigans™, and Henry is called repeatedly for help.

for the sake of this, we're calling the restorer "Ollie"

the progression:

"Hey, I'm fixing up these old animatronics from this old pizzeria! :D I've even gotten blueprints from the co-founder and creator!! We even have an old springlock suit from the mid-70's! It's the bear one, I think Mr. Emily called him Fredbear? Also this weird puppet thing Mr. Emily said was called Marionn. Boy, I have a lot of work to do to fix these guys up."

*finds dried blood on the inside* "Oh. Oh right, these were The Child Murder Robots™"

(very detailed, but respectful, True Crime episode where Ollie explains the MCI as they work. they try to pay their respects to the victims and their families in the video)

"Hey, Why Are The Robots Moving On Their Own"

"Oh, They're. Pretty Chill, Actually? Kinda. Fredbear is kinda iffy, but. I think he's warming up."

"Wow, Mr. Emily! How'd you make the robots so lifelike? *Henry stays silent on the other end of the line* ...Mr. Emily?"

"So. Big yellow robot bunny showed up randomly on my doorstep. Looks rotted and uh. Bloody as fuck. And the animatronics immediately became tense. Fredbear immediately tried to kill him though. So they're being kept in separate rooms for now."

"OH. OH, THERE'S AN ACTUAL FUCKING CORPSE IN THERE. HOLY SHIT, UM, WELL, TIME TO REPORT THAT- WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THE COPS BELIEVE ME-"

"So, I've called Mr. Emily and asked him what the fuck to do, and he said to get rid of it like immediately. Alright, easy enough, I can do that-" *video cuts to Ollie sitting in a different room, blood leaking out of cuts on their face and shoulder, while there is the sounds of mechanical screeching and roaring are heard from another room in the background. they are holding their phone to their ear, breathing heavily and with a thousand yard stare* "OKAY MR. EMILY IT DIDN'T WORK, THE FUCK DO I DO NOW"

"Okay. For now we're just gonna leave the rabbit be for now. I'm gonna have to fix Fredbear's fur because apparently those two tried to kill each other while I went to call Mr. Emily."

"Hold Up, Are These Guys Haunted?" *two days later in the next video* "Oh, These Guys Are Fucking Haunted. BY CHILDREN."

*just an ENTIRE video of Ollie trying to talk to the kids. eventually learns that these are the MCI kids + Charlie and Adrian (CC)*

"Oh, the two kids inside Fredbear explains the "mood swings." Ah, that makes sense now."

*also figures out that Springtrap is possessed. By A Murderer. they have a fun time with this information /s*

*starts a video with a red mark around their neck, looking utterly exhausted, and with the sound of something clawing at a nearby door* "GUESS WHO WOKE UP TO THE ✨MURDER RABBIT✨ TRYING TO CHOKE THEM TO DEATH IN THEIR SLEEP AT 2:17 IN THE MORNING!! GUESS WHO HAS TO BE LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT AT NIGHT NOW!!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HE GOT OUT OF THE WORKSHOP, JESUS CHRIST-"

*videos that are basically just them talking to the ghosts. sometimes they talk to Springtrap*

"So, I get a lot of comments asking me what it's like, why I keep the Corpse Rabbit around despite there being the Literal Corpse Of A Murderer in there And him trying to kill me, and about my knowledge of the Fazbear Lore™, let me answer it in this order for ya:

First, stop bringing up the "William Afton", "Bunch of dead Afton kids", and "Bite of '87" shit. I dunno what y'all mean by a lot of that, and I haven't had the time or the energy to ask Mr. Emily what any of that is supposed to mean.

Second, I explained in a previous video that I tried to bring up the corpse thing to the authorities and they didn't really do anything about it despite me reporting a Literal Corpse, so there's that.

Finally:"

*camera pans. Chica (Susie) is gently trying to pet Ollie's dog. Bonnie (Jeremy) is trying to play Guitar Hero, but the massive fingers are making it hard. Foxy (Fritz) is watching some sort of YouTube video on pirate facts, tail wagging. Freddy (Gabriel) is just lying on the floor and playing Toreador March as he stares at the ceiling. Fredbear (Adrian) is surrounded by plushies, and generally looks content. Marionn (Charlie) is sitting next to Freddy and fiddling with some of Ollies tools and spare parts. the camera pans back.*

*in the most affectionate voice possible* "I'm Running A Fucking Daycare Now."

that's all i've got for now :]

#fnaf #fnaf au #this is what i thought about when i watched a few Animatronic Restoration videos: That But Fnaf #Fazbear Restoration au

[jackie-sugarskull]

Here’s a short oneshot involving my Thundermans Sona!

I was a bit inspired by @candyheartedchy to write this!

It’s nights like this that Jack really wishes she had stayed in her room.

It was Family Game Night at the Thundermans. And while she technically wasn’t family, Hank and Barb were kind enough to offer to let her join in on the fun. She graciously opted out, though, and decided to stand in as a referee.

A fat load of good that did, because things were getting… heated. Hank and Barb were stressing out, Nora was acting weird, and the twins were at each other’s throats.

All over a new car.

It hadn’t taken long for Jack to figure out that the house’s self-proclaimed “future supervillain”, and the actual supervillain that was his roommate, had rigged the family’s prize wheel to land on the most rare prize of all this time, and she was even less surprised when the two of them had planned to team up that night.

But things soon got complicated.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Max invited his girlfriend Allison to join in at the last minute. Turns out she’s a whiz at “Who Arted?”.

Jack couldn’t help but feel her heart go out for Colosso. The rabbit looked and sounded so upset, and she couldn’t blame him. If there wasn’t a civilian in the house, she would’ve immediately offered to partner up with him.

As Game Night continued, she swears that one could cut the tension in the air with a chainsaw. Allison was a talented artist, which quickly put her and Max in the lead. Billy and Nora on the other hand were a disaster. Nora would keep throwing out nonsensical guesses before Billy’s marker even touched the drawing pad. And Phoebe…

Phoebe was desperate.

Her frantic scribbles only confused little Chloe, who quickly became bored and headed up to her room, leaving Phoebe without a partner and all but disqualified from the game. But she wasn’t gonna let Max win.

“Please, Jack,” she pleaded. “You’re the only one here I can partner with!”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Jack said. “I already agreed to be referee. And besides…” She then lowered her voice to a whisper so Allison wouldn’t hear. “The last thing we need is me getting stressed out, swarming the house with living shadows, and blowing mine and your family’s secrets!”

“…Good point,” Phoebe mused, then turned to glare at her brother. “Nice try, Max. I’m gonna find another partner. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault Chloe ditched you,” Max said, before turning to Allison with a sweet smile. “I’d never do that.”

“Hypocrite!” Jack exclaimed behind a round of coughs as Phoebe scoffed. “Sorry, I have a really dry throat all of a sudden. I’m gonna go get some water.” And with that, Jack excused herself to the kitchen.

As she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, she could hear Phoebe’s voice protesting to her brother, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. When she came back into the living room, Phoebe was gone. A few minutes later, however, she came back with a smile.

“Where’d you run off to?” Jack asked.

“Just had to make a phone call,” Phoebe explained. “I found a new partner. He’ll be here soon.”

“Huh. That was fast.”

“Yep!”

————

About 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang.

“Oh! I’ll get it,” Phoebe said as she headed towards the door. “That’s my new teammate.” She opened it, and in walked a man Jack hadn’t seen before. He looked to be around Hank’s age, if not a little younger. Maybe a relative of his she hadn’t met yet?

He was also on the taller side, maybe around six feet or so (if her mental comparison to her own height of a little over 5-foot-1 was correct). His height wasn’t the only thing that made him stand out, though. Aside from his grey hat and khaki pants, he wore a bright magenta suit jacket with a pink silk handkerchief in the front pocket, over a pastel pink plaid shirt, and a… monocle? A little fancy for a family get together, but she wasn’t one to judge.

His eyes felt familiar to her, though. They were a warm brown that she could have sworn shined with a bit of mischief, but still felt safe.

As she wracked her brain over where she’d seen eyes like that before, she took a drink from her water bottle. This turned out to be bad timing on her part, as it was then that the man spoke.

“Hello, family!” He greeted as he took off his hat, showing his salt-and-pepper hair.

That voice. She knew that voice.

The instant she heard it, Jack immediately spit out her water in shock… all over Hank. It took everything for the man in front of them not to laugh at the sight. He cleared his throat to regain his composure.

“Uncle Colosso’s here for Game Night!”

Jack wiped her mouth with an apologetic look and glanced around the room to see everyone else’s feelings on the matter. Hank and Barb were stunned, the fact that the former was now soaking wet not even seeming to register. Billy and Nora were just as surprised. Allison just looked confused.

And then there was Max.

Poor kid looked like he’d seen a ghost and had the consequences of his actions slap him in the face all at once. His expression only fell even more as Phoebe and the now human(?!) Colosso leaned down to him, both whispering smugly.

“You’re going down.”

Well, this just got interesting, Jack thought to herself, failing to hide her amused smile. It was nice knowing you, Max. As her eyes met those of her best friend, he shot her a wink and let out that familiar mischievous laugh.

It was moments like this where she was glad that she decided not to stay in her room.

#the thundermans #dr colosso #max thunderman #phoebe thunderman #oc #oc fanfiction #my ocs #self insert #my writing

[tiofrean]

Tell me more about rage against the dying of the light please!!!

Oh my dear!!! <3333 Thanks for the ask, first of all! Second - this is my absolute favorite position on the list, even though I hardly have 10 pages.

Some time ago I started to think up a character - Gabriel "Roots" Rothenberg. I knew how he looked like, I knew what and how he was. I started to put him into different scenarios, like one does with an OC. And one day a scenario came to my mind about a kinda-medieval thing, with him being in the army (near-border watch sorta thing), in a world where the kingdom he hails from is at war with the neighboring one. They try as much as they can, but sometimes there's nothing they can do to help the people that are being raided. A missive comes that the king has died and so Gabe and his unit have to move on, traveling to the capital for the coronation and the swearing-in while another unit takes their place.

But! He would have been lonely even with his soldiers (he's a traumatized dude, give him a break, wait a minute Wednesday, etc. etc.) so I made him a boyfriend, Danny Leeds :D He joins Gabe's unit after his whole village got culled. So! There we are :D <3

I may publish it one day when I actually have something to publish... but here's a snippet for you <333

Gabe Roots hated rabbit stew. Whoever had thought up this particular concoction of vegetables and meat must have been an evil spirit amusing himself on his day off, he thought, peering into his bowl. There was a sad little slice of carrot drifting at the surface, pale enough that it could be considered parsley if one squinted hard enough. Maybe it was, seeing as everything growing in this godforsaken piece of land was so bland there was no telling for sure what their most recent foraging quest had unearthed. Jacob had deemed it edible, though, and Gabe trusted their cook implicitly. Reluctantly, he dug out his spoon and stirred the contents, shuddering at the pieces of rabbit floating up to the surface. 

Even without tasting it, he knew it would be chewy as shit. 

How did the meat stay so damn dry after soaking in boiling water for close to an hour, he could never guess, but his suspicions were confirmed with the first bite. He munched on it carefully, frowning at Avery slurping up his portion and smacking his lips soundly afterwards. “That was delightful,” he commented, and Jacob grinned, waving his hand in thanks. Gabe shivered again, looking down only to see the sad slice of carrot finally give up and sink to the bottom of the bowl. 

He gritted his teeth and kept on eating, barely reacting when he felt another presence sitting down next to him. “It’s getting colder,” Cinder’s voice was low, deceptively conversational. He grunted instead of answering her, and tried to find the unfortunate carrot, mostly to get rid of it. “If we don’t get orders to move out soon, we’ll be doomed,” his captain went on, well-used to his moods. Gabe nodded absentmindedly, upturning a piece of something looking suspiciously like a bone. “The girls will be back,” he reminded her, glaring at the elusive slice when he caught a glimpse of it slipping away and back to the bottom of the slop. “Let’s hope they didn’t encounter any trouble.” “Brigid?” Gabe huffed, amused. “The last time someone tried to get in her way we had two bodies to bury.” He grinned at the memory. 

Brigid was rather on the short side, and her long, blond hair and big, blue eyes lent her a soft appearance, to the dismay of anyone trying to intimidate her. She was quick as a snake, carried five knives, and knew well where to stick them.  “Besides, Elizabeth is with her,” Gabe went on, shrugging, finally managing to pin the offending piece of vegetable to the side of his bowl. He dragged it up. “If her glare won’t put off any possible brigands, her bow will.” “She’s a hunter,” Cinder replied, her gaze flickering to his determined battle. “And a marksman,” he added, gathering the carrot on his spoon. He brought it up for inspection, glaring at it. “What in the world is that?” He asked with distaste, and his captain chuckled. “White beetroot,” she enlightened him, her amusement turning into a full-on laughter when he tossed it to the side. 

#tag game #ask game #ask #original work #writing #thank you i love this one #if i ever publish anything original it's going to be that #gabe roots #gabriel rothenberg #daniel leeds #danny leeds

[friendly-books]

Turn Coat live blog

Turn Coat live blog

“I answered it and Morgan, half his face covered in blood, gasped, “The Wardens are coming. Hide me. Please.”

His eyes rolled back into his skull and he collapsed.

Oh

Super.” pg. 15 Ha and what a way to start the book. 

“Truth be told, I still had nightmares occasionally, about being pursued by an implacable killer in a gray cloak,” pg. 18 Yep Morgan is the worst.

“Last place anyone would look for him be my guess.” pg. 18 Yep

“Oh bite me, wizard boy,” pg. 19 Ha

“I am. I’m helping him because I know what it feels like to have the Wardens on your ass for something you haven’t done.” pg. 22 Yep 

“So. How are the headaches?” pg. 22 Bonnie! Would Bonnie’s conception count as an immaculate conception?

“Thank you-“

“Oh shut up” I said, shuddering. “Neither of us wants that conversation.” pg. 28 Ha

“Aleron LaFortier is dead.” pg. 29 I’m not too sad that he’s dead. 

“Gosh. That was irrational of them, to jump to that conclusion.” pg. 30 Ha

“I went to bed two nights ago. I woke up at LaFortier’s private study in Edinburgh, with a lump on the back of my head and a bloody dagger in my hand. pg. 31 Suspicious 

“Stars and stones. What on God’s green earth  was that thing?” pg. 45 What did Harry see? Harry think of your poor brain and psyche. He’s got to stop poking things with his Sight. It’s bad for him. You’ve got brain damage now you’ve got to be careful. 

Oh good Harry got to Georgia and Billy’s house 

What is Harry muttering about the numbers?

Well now Harry’s using horrible memories to get use to the Sight of the Skinwalker. 

“Kirby was the only clearly lit object in sight-an ideal target.” pg. 56 Oh no

Oh no Kirby :( 

How long does someone need to be dead for it to be considered necromancy and not resurrection? 

“You nuked it” pg. 77 So cool

Zero is strange 

“That’s why this place is called Zero, I realized. Zero limits. Zero inhibitions. Zero restraints. It was a place of perfect, focused abandon, of indulgence, and it was intriguing and hideous, nauseating and viscerally hungry.” pg. 88 Not a fan of Zero

They seriously got a wanted poster for Morgan. Old school wild west style. Ha

Madeline? Like back in White Night with the thrall? 

“You are Jessica Rabbit, right?” I asked. “All slinky and overblown and obvious?” pg. 102 Ha

Good for Thomas and Justine for attacking Madeline

“You aren’t doing her any favors by going easy on her, Dresden,” he said, more quietly “You aren’t preparing her for exams. She doesn’t receive a bad mark if she fails.” pg. 129 What happens if Molly fails the exam?

“She threw stones at me” pg. 129 Luccio why would you do that? Why not snowballs or water balloons? Does Luccio and Morgan have a  paternal substitute similar to Harry and Ebenezar? Maybe that’s why Morgan lost it back in Dead Beat?

“Pain is an excellent motivator,” he said “And teaches one to control one’s emotions at the same time.” pg. 129 No that’s stupid. 

Morgan stop calling Thomas a “it” 

“You did a bad thing once” I said “It doesn’t make you a monster”

“What if it does?” pg. 134 No Molly isn’t a monster. Now Molly feels like a monster. I’m reminded of when Harry had similar thoughts back in Proven Guilty. Morgan sucks 

“The Council is not divided” pg. 139 Oh Morgan you sweet summer child. Open your eyes and stop being such a Council supporter.

“You two play nice.” pg. 142 Ha

Alright let’s see if I can sus out this traitor. So it’s got to be one of the senior council members or staff. Merlin, McCoy, Listen-to-Winds, Librety, Mai, Gatekeeper, and Peabody. I don’t think it’s McCoy as he’s trying to get rid of the black council. I don’t think it’s Listen-to-Winds as he’s got a friendly raccoon buddy. I don’t think it’s Merlin as why would he be the traitor he’s in charge? I don’t think it’s Gatekeeper as he seems to be on Harry’s side. I don’t think it’s Mai as she’s got those guardian temple dogs. I don’t know enough about Liberty and Peabody. But Liberty seems to be on Harry’s side. So by some less than logical reasoning I thinks it’s Peabody as he’s the White Council scribe so he probably knows things. And he talked to Merlin at Molly’s trial. 

“The only wizard I see less frequently than he is you.” pg. 153 Interesting I wonder why?

 “When I’d been young man, hauled before the Council to be tried as a violator of the First Law of Magic, they brought me to Edinburgh. The musty, wet, mineral smell of the place had been almost all I knew while I waited, hooded and bound, in a cell for a full day. I remember being horribly cold and tortured by the knots my muscles worked themselves into after so many hours tried hand and foot. I remember feeling more alone than ever in my life, while I awaited whatever was going to happen. 

I had been scared. So scared. I was sixteen. It was the same smell, and that scent had the power to animate the corpses of some of my darkest memories and bring them lurching back into the front of my thoughts.

Psychological necromancy.” pg. 158 Therapy please. This is trauma. 

“You have too much history with Morgan. This has got to be dispassionate, and you’re just about the lest dispassionate person I know.” pg. 161 Ha

“As the mind grows older, it gets established.” pg. 161 

Interesting that with time a person can’t be mind controlled. That does bring into question Luccio and her schrodinger cat position. As while her soul and personhood is centuries old the body she’s in isn’t. So would she be able to be mind controlled?

“Peabody gulped” pg. 164 Suspicious 

“What he doses isn’t dramatic, but his organizational skills have been a critical asset since the outbreak of the war.” pg. 164 That would make him a good spy.

How did Ebenezar know that Harry was holding Morgan?

Did LaFortier not use a death curse? Why didn’t he use it? 

So LaFortier was the point between the White Council and the other countries that weren’t in the Council. 

In every scene Peabody in so far he’s having people sign paper. Could it be part of his plan? Hmm 

“Peabody stopped before the Merlin, blinking.” pg. 182 Suspicious 

“You are an untidy person.”

“I put my hand over my heart, grinning at him “Ow” pg. 184 Ha

Why does Peabody keep wanting to get people to sign paper? Is that part of his plan? An inkwell, seriously? Is it the inkwell? Is it an evil magic inkwell? I bet it is. Who uses inkwells nowadays. Just use a pen. There is such a thing as taking an aesthetic too far. 

“Either LaFortier chose not to use it, or he was incapable of using it.” pg. 191 Interesting

So either LaFortier didn’t use his death curse or he couldn’t use it. If he couldn’t use it there aren’t many ways to counter a death curse. A sniper rifle could do it like what Kincaid said. But the wounds were defensive and no gunshot wounds. There aren’t many melee weapons that could stop magic. Wait hold up isn’t the Warden swords anti magic. So they can fight warlocks. So anyone with a sword could have killed LaFortier. The people who we’ve seen have swords are Morgan, Carlos, and Luccio. I don’t think it would be someone we don’t know. It isn’t Morgan as he claims he didn’t do it. And came to Harry for help. I don’t think it’s Carlos as he hasn’t really been mentioned. So that just leaves Luccio. With the mention of mind control magic and Peabody I think he mind controlled Luccio and got her to kill LaFortier. That brings us to Morgan and his suspicions of two day unconsciousness. I don’t think he was unconscious. I think he saw Luccio either kill LaFortier or stand over his body and take the blame. 

Oh no Thomas is in trouble 

Binder what kind of name is that?

“Binder gave me a gimlet stare. Then he rolled his eyes and shot a brief glance over his shoulder-then did a double take as his mouth dropped open.” pg. 212 Ha

“Ernest Armand Tinswhistle” pg. 213 Never mind his real name is so much worse.

“The sliver oak leaf.” pg. 222 Oh no

“Titania’s retainer told me. The entire Summer court has been laughing about it for months.” pg. 222 Ha

“I took it and pitched it into the haunted woods.” pg. 223 Ha

Toot-toot! 

“‘Accomplice is an ugly word. So is ‘penitentiary’” pg. 233 Ha

“He is kind of a drama queen.” pg. 237 Ha

“Who said anything about magic?” pg. 237 What else is Molly going to do?

“I think your mother would scream bloody murder” pg. 237 I’m screaming bloody murder.

“Morgan made a low, appreciative sound as the door closed.” pg. 237 MORGAN NO 

“Maybe. But that was just…just wrong.” pg. 237 Yep I agree completely. Wrong 

“Received, one six foot traditional Ozark walking club from Mr. Smart-ass.

That’s Doctor Smart-ass to you. I didn’t spend eight years in insult collage to be called Mister.” pg. 241 Ha

“I’m sorry sir,” she said “but the addition-counseling center is on twenty-six.” pg. 242 Ha

“I debated several answers and decided to start things off by annoying her.

I know. Me. Shocking, right?” pg. 245 Ha

“Her eyes were wide, her expression a mixture of terror and awe as she stared up me.” pg. 252 Evelyn what did you see in the soul gaze. Why terror and awe? 

Oh lovely another Mexican stand off now with Luccio. 

“There are monsters from whom I’d expect better behavior, once they had accepted my hospitality. What’s more, they’d give it to me.” pg. 257 Ha

“Bitch, I know you didn’t just say that.” pg. 258 Whoa there Molly let’s calm down.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” I said. “So think real careful about where this is coming from. Have you people ever considered talking when you’ve got a problem?” pg. 259 Ha

“Sorry,” I told him at once. “Four-footed nonvocalizing company expected.” pg. 260 Ha

“You,” I asked “and Morgan?” pg. 262 What? I didn’t clock that at all. I’m just as bad as Harry. I didn’t see Luccio/Harry, Lara/Harry, and now Morgan/Luccio. So Morgan loves Luccio romantically. He must be so upset that Luccio and Harry are dating. 

“Who do I look like Kissinger?” pg. 266 I hope not. Kissinger is a terrible person. He commented war crimes.

“Is there any reason this can’t be civil visit?” pg. 270 Yes you brought Harry with you.

“Well. I couldn’t argue with that, but the words made Anastasia’s eyes narrow dangerously.” 277 I’m with Harry and Lara on their views on the White Council. 

“It was Thomas’s necklace.” pg. 296 Oh no Thomas 

“Because people in helpless situations come to you for help on a regular basis. And you help them. It’s what you do.” pg. 300 Yep that’s Harry in a nutshell.

“I always enjoy dealing with a man possessing  a well-developed sense if self-worth.” pg. 302 Harry doesn’t have that. 

“At what point did you forget that I am a vampire Dresden? A monster. A habitually neat, polite, civil, and effective monster. Her eyes drifted down the hallway, to where a well-muscled young man was being helped sit down, while a medic secured bandages over his eyes. Lara stared intently at him, the color of her eyes lightening to silver, her lips parted slightly. “So am I” pg. 307 Lara is scary

“He always worried that he’d never be able to talk to you. That the world he came from was so different. That he wouldn’t know enough about being human to relate. That he wouldn’t know about being a br-“ pg. 310 Aw Thomas 

“You’re like family to me, Harry. You always care.” pg. 310 Aw :)

“She focused sharply on Anastasia for a moment-and then upon me. 

Lara’s eyes flicked several shades paler as her ripe lips parted in dawning realization. A very slow smile crept over her mouth as she stared at me.” pg. 313 So Harry doesn’t have true love’s protection anymore. So that means Luccio doesn’t love him :( 

“Margret. You selfish bitch.” pg. 315 Whoa Luccio not a fan of Margaret I see.

I kinda agree with Margret about the council.

I don’t agree with Luccio. That’s a whole separate comment about her argument. 

“As harsh an experience as it created for you, Harry, the Laws of Magic are not about justice. The White Council is not about justice. They are about restraining power.” pg.  319 That’s my main issue with the White Council. I think they should be more about justice than they are. 

“Over. My. Dead. Body.” pg. 321 Yep Harry cares about his family. I wonder how Luccio figured it out but not Elaine. While Luccio had help from Justine it’s surprising that Luccio was able to piece it together but not Harry’s other friends. 

“Because you need your brother to be alright” pg. 325 Yep see previous comment. 

“Then if you want my help, things are going to change. I’m not charging blindfold again. Not ever.” pg. 337 Yep stop keeping your friends in the dark. 

“Then I made a fist and slugged his smug face hard enough to knock him over backward in the chair.” pg. 351 Ha

“The mighty Harry Dresden. Subcontracting detective work.” pg. 363 Ha

“Bear in mind that someone like him can do everything I can do and considerable besides. And even people on the bloody Council are nervous about that one.” pg. 367 Yep Harry can be scary.

“You lost a fight to one overgrown Boy Scout and one pint-sized mortal women, got yourself locked up by the police, of all the ridiculous things, and missed your chance to earn the reward.” pg. 369 Ha Harry is an overgrown Boy Scout. Why is it that these morally dubious people know that but the Council thinks he’s a black sheep/warlock? 

“The air smelled of cordite. Mouse’s fur, all down his left foreleg, was matted and caked with blood.” pg. 380 Oh no Mouse :( 

Oh no Molly broke a Law again. The same on too. 

“I promise that I’ll be beside you,” I said. “I can’t promise anything else. Only that I’ll stand beside you for as long as I can.” 

“Okay,” she whispered. She leaned against me.” pg. 393 Aw 

So subtle mind control. Maybe that’s what Peabody is doing with the inkwell. I don’t trust anyone who uses an inkwell. Just use a pen. 

“I think someone has tampered with Captain Luccio. I’d bet my life on it.” pg. 394 I knew it 

“You were acting?” I said “To make it hit Molly harder?” pg. 394 Good for Mouse.

“A real party. Practically everyone who’d wanted to kill me lately would be there.” pg. 399 Harry given your track record with parties I don’t see this going well.

“That is the plan” I confirmed. Then I bent down and kissed her forehead and her mouth, gently, and leaned my forehead against hers. “Love you too,” I whispered.” pg. 492 Yay Harry/Murph moment! 

“And yet here I am about to pop you in the nose,” I muttered. “Am I daring or what?” pg. 410 Ha and if it works on sharks it should work on Demonreach. 

“It rocked back at the impact. Not much. Maybe half an inch, though that column of fire  would have blown apart a brick wall. But I had moved it that half inch. There was no doubt about that.” pg. 418 So cool

“I am Harry Dresden, and I give thee a name, honored spirit. From this day on, be thou called Demonreach.” pg. 418 So cool

Demonreach is so cool. Harry names another. I wonder how this will play out. 

“I slid will into my voice as I said, simply, “Thank you.” pg. 419 Aw :) Harry being nice to Deamonreach. 

“I’ve got nothing going on in here at the moment.”

I realized what I had said just as the last word left my mouth, and glanced at Morgan. He lay on the bunk with his eyes closed. His mouth was turned up in small smile. “Too easy.” 

Molly fought not to grin.” pg. 426 Ha

So cool that Harry challenged the entire Senior Council. 

I like Toot-toot 

Gatekeeper! 

“I cannot decide,” he said “whether you are the most magnificent liar I’ve ever encountered in my life-or if you truly are as ignorant as you appear.”

I looked at him for a minute. Then I hooked my thumb up at my ridiculous head bandage.

“Dude” pg. 452 Ha

“There is the world that should be,” he growled, “and the world that is. We live in one.” 

“And must create the other,” Ebenezar retorted “if it is ever to be” pg. 469 So cool

“And then it hit me. They were dealing with something far more dangerous than me, Harry Dresden, whose battered old Volkswagen was currently in the city impound. They were dealing with the potential demonic dark lord nightmare warlock they’d been busy fearing since I turned sixteen. They were dealing with the wizard who had faced the Heirs of Kemmler riding a zombie dinosaur, and emerged victorious from a fight that had flattened Morgan and Captain Luccio  before they had even reached it. They were dealing with the man who had dropped a challenge to the entire Senior Council, and who had then actually showed, apparently willing to fight-on the shores of an entirely too creepy island in the middle of a freshwater sea.” pg. 471 So cool! 

Not a fan of ancient Mai 

“He was not truly your apprentice. You kept watch over him for a mere two years.” pg. 473 Yes Harry was an Ebenezer apprentice and it was an important two years!

I love that we got a glimpse into Harry’s appearance time. Yeah, having killed Justin a bunch of bully teenagers isn't all that scary in comparison. 

“Lady Raith,” Ebenezer said, calmly. “Touch that boy again and only things left for your kin to bury will be your five-hundred-dollar shoes.” pg. 479 So cool! I love how much love Ebenezer has for Harry and vice versa. 

“Wile E. Coyote” I said to him soberly. “Suuuuuuper Genius.” pg. 483 Ha 

Ebenezer used a force choke. It was cool.

Ahhhhh!!!! Lara is terrifying. Madeline didn’t deserve that. Why would you do that Lara? I’m going to have nightmares. Lara is definitely a monster. I don’t want her anywhere near Maggie.

“Someone had to be human.” pg. 512 Yep 

Poor Thomas :( 

“Bring it! Bring it, you dickless freak!” pg. 530 Ha 

Toot-toot to the rescue! 

“Mother says you have no place here.” 

“Father says you are ugly” pg. 539 Ha

“Just gonna kick your ass up between your ears.” pg. 540 Ha and Listen-to-winds is so cool. 

“Retribution,” Ebenezer said. “Not justice” pg. 555 It definitely isn’t justice. It’s retribution and vengeance. 

“I remind you that Dresden and his apprentice  aided and abetted a fugitive from justice.” pg. 556 Stop calling it justice it’s not justice.

“Little guy like that, taking on something so far out of his weight class. That was a sight to see.” 

Ebenezer snorted. “Yeah. Wonder where the pixie learned that.” pg. 558 Ha and where do you think Harry learned it from. Definitely not Justin. 

I think Harry should learn from Listen-to-winds. 

Oh no Ebenezer doesn’t know about Thomas. Maybe Harry and sit him down and they actually have a conversation about Thomas. I can dream ok. 

Oh no poor Thomas what happened to you?

“Wile E. Coyote,” I said wisely. “ Suuuuuuper genius” pg. 569 Ha 

“Ebenezar was of the opinion that apprentices were always hungry. Can’t imagine where he got that idea from.” pg. 576 Ha

Part 3

Ebenezer is a cool bookworm. I wonder if Harry got being a bookworm from Ebenezer.

“The Merlin has demanded that we put the boy under surveillance at once. I think he’s a damn fool.” pg. 578 Ebenezar is right. Harry would not be happy about that. White Council looks like a police state. 

“But then again, I trusted Maggie’s too” pg. 578 Maggie as in Harry’s mom? Did Ebenezer teach Harry’s mom? Do they have a parental substitute dynamic? Actual parent and child? Look I’m going to get one of these relationships right I swear. 

“Merlin,” pg. 579 As in the original Merlin?

“Mai looked daggers at Injun Joe” pg. 584 Not a fan of Ancient Mai

“Mai looked as if someone had hit her between the eyes with a sledgehammer. “That,” she said, in a breathless tone “is a Foo dog.” She stared at me “Where did you get such a thing? And why were you allowed to keep it?” pg. 588 First of all Mouse isn’t a thing or an it. He was the best boy there ever was. Second of all Harry didn’t pick Mouse, Mouse picked Harry. 

“It is my belief that Peabody has been drugging the ink for the purpose of attempting greater mental influence over the decisions of members of the Senior Council, and that it is entirely possible that he has compromised the free will of the younger members of the Council tonight.” pg. 588 I was right!? I knew that inkwell was evil. Never trust an inkwell. 

I will begrudgingly admit that Merlin is a little bit cool with the whole telepathy thing. Incredibly begrudgingly :/

Morgan, what are you doing about it? You should be resting. Keep doing this and it’ll kill you. Go line down. 

I can’t believe I was right about Luccio's mind control. And with Peabody. Maybe I can be a P. I. like Harry lol 

“I knew that you knew how it felt to be an innocent man hounded by the Wardens.” pg. 600 He admits it.

“He died less than a minute later.” pg. 600 He died! :0 Morgan’s died? What? 

Harry’s got a cool eye scar now. 

The Gray Council is cool.

“That the only alternative is to stand around and watch everything go to hell.” His voice hardened. “We’re not going to do that.” 

“Damn right we’re not.” pg. 616 Good

“You’re not even forty.” pg. 622 So Harry’s still in his thirties. He’s grown so much.

Poor Thomas 

Glad that Butters is joining Harry’s D&D group. 

Final thoughts 

Great way to start the book. No Bi Harry moments. I thought the book was funny. I wish we got more Marcone to see who he is and if he’s picked up the coin. My working theory is that he picked it up in the last book. Unsure if he touched it bare handed and just has it in his possession or if he has it and hasn’t given in like with Harry. They both have a lot of willpower. He partnered up with Namshiel after Harry died and there was no longer a wizard in Chicago. I hope he shows up in the next book. I loved Mouse in this. I loved the Harry and Murphy moment. I’m shocked I was right about Peabody. That wasn’t anywhere close to a logical conclusion in my deduction. The inkwell was a total guess on my end. Lara is terrifying. I’m sad that Morgan died and what happened to Luccio. Didn’t like the Morgan and Molly thing. Poor poor Thomas. I hope he can come back from this. Loved Toot-toot in this. Not the biggest fan of ancient Mai and glad she was shocked by Mouse. I’m glad Morgan sort of apologized to Harry at the end there. Harry’s reputation grows among the supernatural community. I loved all the Ebenezer and Harry moments in this book especially with the force choke on Lara. Interesting that Peabody had the stuff from outside reality. So this Black Council is in league with the Outsiders(Is that what they’re called?) my question is why? Presumably the Outsiders want to destroy reality so why would anyone want to side with them? Are they possessed? Also if they’re so bad how did Harry defeat one at 16? Glad Harry and Ebenezar are forming the Gray Council if Merlin isn’t going to do anything. Love that has a cool eye scar. Ebenezer really shaped how Harry views magic and life. That must have been such an important two years. Hope we get more glimpse into it. I’ll probably make a whole different comment on Luccio's argument and why I think it’s wrong. 

Onto the next book! Oh boy it’s the big one.

#dresden files #Turn coat #battle ground spoilers

[y2ashlee]

My opinions/thoughts on the twisted wonderland characters-

Notes:

I’m up to chapter 6 and haven’t finished it yet I’ve also only played this game for like a month as it wasn’t available in my country until recently.

I’m only doing the students that actually attend Night Raven Collage because 1 the teachers have little screen time besides Crowely and the other characters from other school are not important or only have like 5 minutes screen time in the main story.

Heartslabyul

So many Kingdom Hearts memories also

Yea party central

Riddle Rosehearts:

-Angry Strawberry/Raspberry

-Short man syndrome

-Mummy Issues

-Even though he’s obviously based off of the Queen of Hearts I think he’s also somewhat got some of the White Rabbit’s habits like everything has to be on time and whatnot.

-I’d probably nickname him Rids just to see his reaction

Ace Trappola:

-Annoying but ok

-I saw something along the lines of the fact that he is based off of Alice as well as the obvious card soldiers and I can totally see that he is rebellious and doesn’t like the dumb silly rules of the queen’s.

-His nickname would probs be Acey cause he calls Deuce, Deucey

Deuce Spade:

-Made his mum cry so he changed his attitude and cleaned himself up

-Seeing as I can see other Alice in Wonderland characters as the Heartslabyul guys he’d probably be the Blue Caterpillar cause of his blueish hair and eyes also you could say he became a butterfly when he changed his ways

-Is dumb but sweet

-His nickname is already Deucey it’s cannon I can’t change that

Trey Clover:

-If he’s a character from Alice in wonderland he’s obviously the Mad Hatter cause he wears a hat and his hair is green and the Mad Hatter’s hat is green. That’s the only connection I’ve found though.

-Baker boy husband material probably the most laid back character in the game.

-His nickname would be Poundcake

Cater Diamond:

-If he’s also a character from Alice in wonderland he’s Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum cause of his signature spell and he’s a red head

-The fact that he doesn’t like sweet foods being part of the plot is unimportant or relevant but it’s some character development I guess

-Annoying but in a different way then Ace

-His nickname to me would just be Cay

Savanaclaw

Be prepared

Very a athletic dorm I definitely would not be in that dorm

Leona Kingscholar:

-You cannot pet the angy kitty

-He has the “ :3 “ face as his normal smug expression

-Lazy man hot though

-Has family issues

-Doesn’t like being second

-I would not give this man a nickname if I want to live.

That being said it’d be Sandbag or Log

Ruggie Bucchi:

-Roxas from Kingdom Hearts specifically the Roxas from the beginning of KH2

-Will eat any food along as it’s not rotten

-Is a hard worker as long as he gets something out of it

-His nickname would probs be Rugs or Rug

Jack Howl:

-Is a good boy

-Floyd’s nickname for him is spot on he looks tuff but under that he’s a soft boy

-Probably the most responsible and thoughtful character out of the cast besides Trey

-His nickname is Jackie/Jacky and I know it’s basic but I’m not that creative

Octavinelle

Under the sea, I wanna be part of that dorm~

Fish Mafia

Azul Ashengrotto:

-Shady Business man

-Was bullied as a child

-Is self-conscious about his body (can relate)

-His nickname or nicknames would be Az or Azzy

Jade Leech:

-Likes Mushrooms like A LOT

-Is the mum friend of the 3

-Will stab you with a gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his face

-His nickname would be Jay/Jae or something mushroom related like Toad or Fungi or my favourite Truffle/Truffles

Floyd Leech:

-My fav character

-Could and Will snap you in half if was angry

-Moodswings

-All of his nicknames are somewhat accurate so far as I can tell, I don’t get Malleus’s nickname though

-My nicknames for him are Floydie or Floy

Scarabia

Scarabian nights~~~

Like sand through the hourglass so is the dorm of Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

-Sweet dumb rich boy

-His nickname would be Kali or no nickname

Jamil Viper:

-Stressed as hell needs a break

-Was told his whole life to basically not succeed in anything if Kalim was involved

-His nickname would be Jam or Jami

Pomefiore

Have a bite taste the apple

Their dorm uniform annoys me I don’t know why though

Vil Schoenheit:

-He calls everyone Potatoes/Spudlings like it’s an insult like has he ever had a potato? Also probs a reference to the fact that he’s probably supposed to be German or something along those lines

-I like him as a character better now then when I first started his chapter

-I’d nickname him something simple like Vivi or Vili or I’d follow along with the fact he calls everyone potatoes and call him Potato Gem also known as (Tater Tots for you Americans) or Hashbrown

Rook Hunt:

-Everything I do the gatcha he shows up and it’s mostly the same 3 cards

-He creeps me out but is slowly growing on me

-I have no nickname for him besides Stalker

Epel Felmier:

-Cute but don’t tell me I said that

-Could probably beat you up and you’d be confused as to how

-His nickname would be Epps or Macho man

Ignihyde

They won’t go the distance they will say inside their room where they feel like they belong

I hate their dorm uniforms

Idia Shroud:

-He may be based off of Hades and it makes sense he’s in a role/job he doesn’t want and can’t really get out of it buuut he’s basically Panic as well as Hades

-Can relate to him not liking people and socialising and whatnot

-Plays games and watches Anime and reads manga is a web/Otaku and Gamer Boy

-Would be a YouTuber/Streamer if he wasn’t so nervous

-My nicknames for him would be Ids or the most basic Gamerboy

Ortho Shroud:

-If Idia is Panic then he’s probably Pain

-He’s cute but creepy cause he’s a robot and want not

-My nicknames for him would be Orthie or Astro boy

Diasomnia

Once upon a dream

Ha their name sounds like insomnia which I have

Love their dorm uniforms

Also they all basically wear Sora’s necklace from Kingdom Hearts

Malleus Draconica:

-Fairy Dragon Prince

-LOVES gargoyles

-He does not like technology

-Invite him places he’ll love it

-Even though he has a cannon nickname “Horton” he obviously needs another nickname or two like Mal or Ruins Explorer

Lilia Vanrouge:

-Vampire basically

-Draculaura but male

-Old man/father going back to school basically like the movie 17 Again

-Can’t cook, don’t let him in the kitchen

-Greetings fellow kids

-I’d probs just call him Lil or Lilz

Silver Vanrourge:

-Riku from Kingdom Hearts but also Ventus

-Sleepy boy

-Nicknames for him would be Sil or Charming

Sebek Zigvolt:

-Angy loud boy

-Loves his prince

-Is a half-ling

-His nicknames would be Seb, Sebby or Bek

Ramshackle

Literally a building falling apart

Grim

-When I first started playing I said I’d be ok if he got hit by a bus, and now I still do though now I’d be a little sad

-His nicknames are Menace, Trouble Maker and Little shit

~~~

I was bored and wanted to put my thoughts out there

#twisted wonderland #twistedwonderlandgrim #twisted wonderland disney

[grandpacephalopods-rp]

@warriorsofsplatsville (Getting rid of that toppost lol)

"Yeah....I don't know why. Whether it was cold feet, or something darker. But....I just know that Annalise and the rest of the human race paid the ultimate price."

"The Ark Polaris.....that was her idea. Annalise. From where I'm from." He mumbles quietly. "She had such a kind heart. She just wanted to save those poor animals. It's a shame what became of them, and then the Ursine Anomaly."

He shakes his head. "But enough about the past for now. I can't change it, so there's no good dreaming about what could've been."

Vulture notices the slight shock that appears on his face, but decides that it isn't important.

"Oh - right now? I didn't think you'd be free, but..." He scrounges around in his pocket for something, eventually pulling out a folded piece of paper. It's a map of Inkadia. "I've been saving this for a while now. The wind can bring you all sorts of useful things.

When examined closer, it was shown to be covered in red circles and lines, some faded ink, some newer. But they all pointed to one place.

"I think....I think we were over here." He points to a spot marked "The Great Turf War Craters". "I know, I know, it's practically a continent away from here, my pod got swept all the way out during the flood, but those sea folk finished that big bridge now. It should be hell of a lot faster than trekking the long way. I think they installed a maglev system on the upper part of the bridge, we could be there within hours if we go now, I have some equipment that we can bring along, and-"

He catches himself. "Sorry, the prospect of finding a way to bring Annalise back, plus all the science stuff gets me really excited. Old habits die hard." He feels his face grow red from embarrassment ."Well, uh- shall we prepare? And go?"

“So Annalise was the one behind the Ark... Yeah, it’s a shame their best wasn’t good enough. Would’ve liked to see some familiar wildlife, you know? ... Not so much bears, but you know, like, rabbits, dogs.. anyway.” Tartar frowns.

“No, it’s better to focus on the now. Reminiscing is better when you run into old friends, I’d say.” He nods.

Tartar looks over the map, following the lines and crosses until it gets to that central point. “Had the time to plan this out, huh? I guess it helps to know- my life would’ve been much easier if I remembered where the professor’s coworkers were holed up...”

“Oh damn, really?” His face lighted up in interest. “Yeah- No, you’re good. I’m basically just stuck smelling the roses and reading documents right now anyways, I can spend a day trying to help. All in good fun.” Tartar offered Vulture a handshake, waiting for the other to grab what they could. In-between packing trips, he somehow gained a bottle of water.

#tartar

[fanfictionfangirl]

Slytherin!Dick and why it won't happen 😭

(from me)

I want to cry. Dick Grayson literally has all the traits, the charisma, the pride, leadership skills and loyal personality traits that Slytherin is literally one of the houses he should belong to (let's be really he could go for any of them). And since I haven't found a single Slytherin!Dick fic, I decided to write one on my own.

Since I've decided to throw the whole Batfam into this, and I've decided that Damian is the only one who wouldn't just replace Harry and rain chaos into the world, he's got the honor of being the same age.

Now, since this is supposed to be a Dick-centric fic, I have to go back in time, where it makes sense for him to join Hogwarts. Through a lot of researching shenanigans and rabbit holes, I've come to the conclusion that he would have started his first school year in 1977. ...do you know what also is in 1977? The First Wizarding War. Not only that, but Harry's parents and Snape are still at Hogwarts. Which, awkward, but more importantly, WE'RE IN THE LATER HALF OF THE FREAKING WAR!!!!! And that's no problem, really, outside of giving me fascinating material to work with, a very interesting environment and Hogwarts being canonically unattacked, this only has perks.

Except, this is a war about pure-blood supremacists. Specifically, Slytherin graduates are in an all-time frenzy about getting rid of everyone who isn't as genetically "perfect" as them, which is a moral battle that leads to most major decisions made during that time.

Do you also know what this means?

It means that Slytherin is a pool of bigotry right now.

And guess who really has something against discrimination?

Dick Grayson.

Do ALSO know what that means?

It means that even if Dick is a perfect Slytherin, right now, in this social climate, there is nothing he could possibly be other than a Gryffindor!!!!!! I DON'T WANT DICK TO BE A GRYFFINDOR, I LITERALLY MADE THIS FIC SO HE WOULD BE A SLYTHERIN, DAMNIT!!!!!! And I can't even change my timeline anymore (I really don't want to rearrange history, I'd have to fill the plot holes and I'm not interested) because I'm now invested in Dick living in the war era. Even if he's 11 and Damian isn't even born yet. I'm invested, I literally have Tim partially ready to go, and he's like 3 right now.

... welp, that was a rant. Honestly, I'm just upset that there's still not going to be a Slytherin!Dick fic. I mean, the moment Dick gets to be a Slytherin, he's the main protagonist, the light of the show, the center piece really. A sunshine charmer, good with words, a leader, smart, a Quidditch prodigy (because if he can fly, he's doing acrobatics up there) social goblin that patches people together and makes it work. Obviously, kid Dick has anger issues, his birth parents are dead, Bruce is on the other side of the continent, and he's once again living with entirely unfamiliar people. Dear reader, this story writes itself. Give this a friction of plot and it's running on its own. Which is what I would love to read and write. That is, if there wasn't this FREAKING WAR. I love this war, but damnit does the social climate divide everyone from the Slytherins. Which would be fine, but I repeat, they're bigots! There's no way that the sorting hat would look at what is right now a radical supremacist environment and put in an eager and determined equality fighter. That would be like throwing oil into a fire. The explosion would never be worth it. So, Dick would end up in Gryffindor (freaking Gryffindor! Listen, I'm prejudiced and as such have something against Gryffindors) because I don't believe in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw Dick, and as part of an overeager house, he accidentally drags an army of friends with him. Which wouldn't be bad if I had any idea on what to do with them.

Either way, I'm now left with discovering what the frick I want to do with this. If anyone has a suggestion, I'm so open to it.

#dick grayson #slytherin #Slytherin!Dick #first wizarding war #fic writing #rant

[almost-a-class-act]

Band of Brothers fic readers want to know: will she never cease with her Gardener!Lieb agenda?

I will never cease!

I know I said I wasn't going to write this summer because of school but idk, it's summer and you can't have summer without gardener!Lieb.

Here's some Lieb/Tip. No bunnies were harmed in the writing of this story.

--

Joe usually comes in from the garden calmer than when he went out, but there are exceptions to any rule.

On a muggy morning in June, the day already promising to be hotter than it needs to be, he comes storming in the front door muttering to himself. Ed doesn’t even look up from his newspaper until Joe bangs into the kitchen and makes for the coffee pot. The cat makes herself scarce at the same moment, beelining for the safety of the living room.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ lose it,” Joe mutters, setting a mug down rather harder than necessary on the countertop. There is a damp patch on his shirt where he’s sweated through it, and the back of his neck is red.

“You’re being really subtle about it,” Ed tells him.

Joe gives him a look over his shoulder as he fills his mug, but he seems to realize that he’s being overdramatic because he sets the coffee pot down more gently than he’s done anything else since he came in here.

“A rabbit ate half my cabbage,” he mutters.

Ed could take or leave cabbage, frankly, but that’s probably not helpful to bring up. He asks the question because he’s sure there is a plan, and because it’s Joe, it might be unhinged. “What are you going to do?”

“Trap him,” Joe says. His expression darkens. “Get rid of him.”

“You’re gonna bump him off for eating some cabbage?” It’s less that Ed has a moral quandary about this and more that he likes to stir the pot a little. “That feels harsh.”

“So I should just let Peter fuckin’ Cottontail go tell all his friends where the good eats are?” Joe scoffs. “Not a chance. The bunny gets it.”

“Have you considered what you’re going to do if he’s really cute?” Ed asks, straight-faced.

Joe gives him another look. “Cute’s got nothing to do with it.”

Amusement - a plausibly deniable amount - tucks itself in very faintly at the corners of Ed’s mouth. If it almost looks like a smile, that’s because most of what Joe does makes him smile – not always intentionally. “Godspeed, I guess.”

Joe grunts an acknowledgement, already focused on his vendetta.

--

“You’re not going to believe this.”

It’s Sunday, the first one in July, and Ed is making his meandering way around the kitchen, cooking the big breakfast they always have on weekends. When Joe turns up in the kitchen doorway, his expression thunderous, Ed obligingly awards him his attention.

“It got out of the trap,” Joe announces.

Ed’s not going to laugh. He really isn’t. “Oh no.”

“What is this thing, some kind of criminal fuckin’ mastermind?” Joe stomps into the kitchen and helps himself to coffee, presumably because by any respectable measure it’s too early to start drinking.

“How do you know it was in the trap in the first place?” Ed asks.

“Because,” Joe says, taking two swallows of coffee that must be absolutely scalding with an impressive lack of reaction. “I put bait in there, and it’s gone. And it ate half the cabbage again.”

Ed returns to his cooking, giving the eggs a nudge around in the pan. “A worthy adversary.”

Joe takes another burning swallow of coffee, clearly already plotting his next move. Sure enough: “I need a better trap.”

He stalks out of the kitchen again.

 Ed makes eye contact with the cat, who is perched on top of the highest cabinet, her tail swinging lazily off the edge. “I know,” he says. “Like living with Elmer Fudd.”

“You talking to me?” Joe’s voice comes faintly from somewhere at the front of the house.

“Nope,” Ed replies. “Breakfast’ll be up in five.”

--

By mid-July, Joe’s battle with the rabbit has reached a stalemate. The rabbit doesn’t come every night, but when it does, Joe is sure to spend the next few hours constructing increasingly elaborate traps. Ed goes outside sometimes to check in, mostly so that the neighbours don’t think that Joe is losing his mind all by himself.

Pulling the front door shut behind him to prevent the cat from getting out, Ed stoops creakily down to place a full cup of coffee on the step so that Joe can rage-drink some caffeine without tracking dirt into the house, as has been his wont lately.

Joe doesn't look up from his task, and it gives Ed the opportunity to eye his latest project with open dubiousness.

“Are you rigging that with a spring-loaded..." He should maybe not call the words murder drawbridge across the yard. "...door?”

“Desperate times, Tip,” Joe says, the movements of his hands almost comically cautious as he works.

“Sure,” Ed agrees, turning to go back inside before there’s bloodshed that he has to be responsible for. “That seems completely reasonable. Let me know how it goes.”

Joe grunts.

“Watch your fingers,” he calls back over his shoulder.

Joe doesn’t reply.

--

On the last Tuesday in July, Joe shouts for him from the front garden. Ed dutifully makes his slow, limping way out to the porch, and shades his eyes to see Joe standing triumphantly over a sturdy-looking cage. Upon closer inspection, it hosts a small, brown rabbit with a patch of white on the top of its head, looking so deeply unthreatening in the middle of that weapons-grade cage that Ed nearly laughs.

“You got him,” he remarks, making his way down the steps and into the yard to join Joe next to the garden.

“Not so fuckin’ smart now,” Joe says, addressing the rabbit.

“And, uh.” Ed makes his painstaking way down onto one knee so that he can poke a finger through the mesh and give the rabbit’s soft fur a gentle scratch. The rabbit, apparently unaware at this point that there are people it should be wary of, gives him a wiggle-nosed look but lets itself be petted. “What are you going to do with him?”

When there's no immediate response, he glances up in time to see Joe run his tongue behind his lower lip and shake his head, hands still in that triumphant pose on his hips but the rest of it settled back now, into something else.

“Yeah, I…” He gazes down at the cage. “I don’t know.”

Ed knows. Everything that has come after the war has been a microcosm of it in some way, the hulking shape of it taking its place in silence at the center of everything. Sometimes it's a good thing, in the way they would never have met without it. Sometimes it's a door slammed too hard next door that has Joe halfway out of his chair with a protective arm thrown out before he remembers where they are.

And sometimes it's this.

Killing doesn’t take away from your rage the way you think it will. Ed wasn’t there, didn’t make it to Austria, but he is in the unique, specific position of having loved Joe for a long time and done some killing of his own. He doesn’t need to be told.

He lets it go.

“What are you feeding it?” he asks, peering at it. “Is that – ”

“Cabbage,” Joe says, in a tone of voice that says he knows exactly how that will be received.

“And you – ”

“See the irony, yeah.”

Ed does the not-a-smile that is one anyway, and reaches up for a hand so Joe can pull him to his feet.  

#band of brothers #fanfiction #roaroftheninth #liebtip