#so saying ‘id rather go with a different solution’ or ‘i dont think i can do that’ wasnt an option

[funkymbtifiction]

So after hearing you talk about it so much I got me a copy of Stabile's Road Towards Wholeness

I'm not done with it yet but I was blown away by that part where she's like "Dear head types I bet you can think of 10 people right now who trust your judgement."

That is a statement, for example, which I would never make because I cant know for certain that it will be true for every person. But she was probably intuiting & thinking about the emotional impact that it was gonna make. 

Cause it made me think back on how at least in my online presence i do get feedback like "wow this made me think about it in different way", "i never considered it that way" or "thanks that totally clarified it for me"

I also definitely regard the judgement of my head type family members as useful, so id count towards their 10 people - particularly in areas where they notice stuff that i don't. 

i might have the abstract-conceptual stuff down, but the 6s know practical stuff, street smarts & troubleshooting - "here is the best doctor", "this is how you get good health insurance", "dont rent a place in that neighborhood there is crime and neo nazis"... whatever their area of expertise is. (Better yet they notice what you like/need & get you that, I've come to appreciate that a bit more through some of the posts you made about it)

It strikes me that if another person made that statement about the dangerous neighborhood I might wonder if they're exaggerating, being misled by some rumors or talking out of their butt but when my sister says it, I might not per se follow her advice / make my own conclusion but I will generally assume that with a very high probability there is, in fact, crime in that neighborhood. Just because she has a proven good track record for practical solutions & researching possible dangers.

And with the 7s its getting projects off the ground & anything to do with talking & negotiating. So many times some problem came up & my mom just grinned & said "We will have a talk with this gentleman" & she wrangled them & usually left with the thing we wanted even if the person in charge was a hostile asshat.

It strikes me that needing a book to notice this is a kind of reverse fundamental attribution error - in ourselves we are more likely to attribute results to circumstance rather than general tendencies. Someone will find something I said useful and I will exhale in relief and think "Ah, good, I wasn't talking out of my ass there.". Just like my sister probably thinks to herself "Oh, nice, calamity averted" when she managed to prevent some danger, or how mom might think, "Phew! I did not have to do without this thing I wanted after all." when she haggles out a good result, each time just thinking we won this individual battle without the general uncertain attitude/deficiency mindset shifting much. 

Sure makes you think. Anyways i guess what i wanted to say is thx for the book rec. 

------

Mod: You're welcome. It's a good book. She blew my mind several times during the course of reading it, but probably the biggest message for me was learning to stop the train of "unproductive-thinking" (unnecessary analyzing that 6s do :P), by asking myself, "Does this need me to over-think about it? If not, don't." That has made my life SO MUCH EASIER just since I read it. I also laughed off her "dependent stance types have to deal with what's right in front of them" assertion (yeah, right), in terms of being "present-motivated," because I assumed it was not the case with me (duh, I think about the future and the past more than the present) ... until something went wrong in my life, and I could literally think about nothing else. Woman knows what she's talking about, after 40 years of studying this stuff. She is A+!

By 6 tends to predict longer term, based on Ne/Te dynamics. ("You don't want to buy a house in that neighborhood, because in 10 years it won't be worth half what you paid for it right now -- the market is going to take a dip and the neighborhood is already going downhill. By the time you want to sell it, it will be a run-down neighborhood." Or one instance in which a friend asked, "Should I date this person?" I said no, and gave my logical reasons why -- the exact sequence of events that would follow, and where she would be, emotionally in six months. She didn't listen, and it all unfolded exactly like I predicted, right down to the exact emotions she was having. :P )

Like Suzanne says, she has learned to listen to the 6s in her life, because while it's not always what she wants to hear, sometimes it's what she needs to hear, or an angle that nobody else has seen as a prospective problem.

#book #suzanne stabile #road toward wholeness #enneagram

[dyketubbo]

when you get a chance, thoughts on seer of space tubbo?

(i am also open to maid of space tubbo, and many others, but i am currently seer leaning)

*wakes up* oh boy time to classpect! under the readmore because seers are interesting enough that i ended up going on a tangent

of course no argument about the aspect because hes 100% a space player, ive discussed heir before i believe, so seer analysis it is, because i havent thought about it before (seers slip my mind sometimes, i love them, my brain is just the equivalent of a ground with a bunch of banana peels and cant handle having more than 4 coherent thoughts at a time).

like said with knights, he doesnt exactly try to tell anyone what he wants to come off as, sure he wants to be intimidating enough that people leave him alone, but, well. he does fit the intimidating thing, its less a facade and more a warning, he doesnt want to hurt anyone, but he will should he deem it necessary (thankfully, tubbos kind enough that he deems it unecessary in most cases). hes a bit too likely to follow through, and its bred from feeling unsafe, rather than feeling insecure. c!tubbo knows he can do things, the cc is more likely to downplay what he does than the character is (not that c!tubbo doesnt, but he does still believe in his abilities, he just doesnt think hes important enough to emphasize his impact. difference between going "oh no it was all __" and going "oh no it wasnt just me" when theres something hes done most of the work on)

so, he almost fits knight, at least in abilities, after all knights are capable and they know theyre capable, and hes very good at the exploitation aspect, pushing limitations and using them for their benefits. i could see him as maybe a knight thats actually gotten past the insecurity and facades already, if we're to consider his spy history as him being pre-actualization. being a space player doesnt really change how solid knight arcs are, so the combination of knight and space doesnt make knight much more fitting for tubbo

similarly, he does fit a few aspects of being a seer (having similar struggles, talking a shitton sometimes, sitting back and observing the world around him when he finds it beneficial to do so, generally very smart especially within their group), but not so much others (seers are often overbearingly smug in a way tubbos a bit too humble for, learning through education rather than experience, having a habit of getting too focused on their goal, and theyre overall passive, being too active is actually how they get themselves into shit, while tubbo gets hurt when hes too passive). seers of space focus more on the present than the future or past, which almost fits tubbo.. if it werent for the fact that he doesnt focus on the future or past out of repression cknsks. not that he would much anyways, but the intentional focus on the present is out of stubborness and trauma rather an actual trait of staying in the present. notably, theres quite a few times where tubbo does think about the past and future, especially when he was younger, and he does try to work towards his ideal future, he just doesnt talk about it much.

funnily enough, because of where seer falls through, he ends up being closer to the mage struggle of, well, getting their asses kicked when theyre too passive because things work out best when theyre involving themselves. mages also have that posturing thing as well, though its connected to intelligence (desperately trying to come off as smarter because they believe theyre still too dumb and naïve, even though theyre actually doing fine), so again, not exactly tubbos kind of posturing. plus, hes pissy, but not pissy enough for a mage, as theyre more likely to get caught up in how fed up they are with everything, while tubbo gets caught up in how much he still cares no matter how much he seems like he doesnt. the space aspect adds that theres.. a shitton of shit happening to and around him, which does fit, at least, and mages of space usually suffer because of their passions, knowledge, and experience, as well as they're rather hands on. again, fits, but, well.

seers and mages are a bit too focused on knowledge for the kind of person tubbo is. hes smart for sure, has a lot of knowledge, and even when hes not a spy he does want to know things and looks for that knowledge, but while he fits the goals and positives of seers (and mages), he doesnt exactly fit their flaws or what happens when theyre unhealthy. not that he needs to show signs of being unhealthy, but even healthy players still show an ability to be the unhealthy versions of their classes. he doesnt get his ass kicked for being too active and tunnel visioned like seers do (and it can sometimes come from ego trips, which tubbos very unlikely to have, even if he fits the "my solution is the most correct here, so we have to follow it" part of it all) like seers, he doesnt have any moments of just refusing to learn and complaining about how everything sucks rather than doing anything about it (nor is he likely too) like mages. he does vaguely fit where the unhealthiness of a knight can come in, propping up a shield to a ridiculous extent and lashing out when their insecurites are picked at, but that feels a bit too reckless to be tubbo (though it does fit tommy).

overall, i can kind of see seer for a slightly different version of tubbo, but it feels too passive for tubbo, if that makes sense. he is passive at least, in terms of classes anyways (note- despite how some classpectors define it, passive doesnt really mean you serve others, its not an insult, it just means you weave your aspect through others, rather than yourself. its the difference between a prince destroying x/destroying through x and a bard allowing destruction of x/inviting destruction through x. still listen to passive classes, thats what seers fall into after all, and seers are very important). its just that tubbo usually gets hurt by being too passive rather than getting hurt by being too active (not that it couldnt happen, which is why i say it could still fit under other circumstances).

speaking of passive v active, if i had to pick a passive class i feel fits tubbo the most, probably heir. active wise, id say maid does actually fit rather well. i feel like ive talked about maid tubbo before but i might be remembering a different analysis so just in case ill generally say i feel he fits the arc of going from a "doormat" to taking their life for themselves. theyre stubborn, stressed out from listening to others, like banter, occassionally silly and can start arguing in circles due to the stubborness (think that one patrick id scene, but smarter). maids are also heavy repressers, they fear being seen as weak, and are unwilling to ask for help. they rely on their environment and hate it.

and, painfully enough, some classpectors state that when pushed into being unhealthy, maids explode. maids are already intimidating on their own, being powerful and smart enough to know what to do with that power, and when they get stressed out enough, they, well, explode. they hurt everyone in one big event (think aradias actions in make her pay). its not necessarily a reckless lashing out at everyone like knights, but a giant burnout that happens to effect everyone. tubbos not at a point where it seems likely for this to happen, but i wouldnt be too surprised if something like it did happen were things to get too be too much. he is the mf with nukes after all. healthy maids are independent, with maids of space specifically, well, making space for themselves and others (sound like a certain snow commune anyone), attempting to start new lives. an independent maid, allowed to be their own person without anyone stepping on them, is a healthy maid. unfortunate for tubbo that his life fucking sucks too hard for him to really get to this point KEKW

heirs fit a similar "followed others then became more independent" arc, mostly unaware that theyre being lead around but, if whats happening aligns with their own ideals, dont really care much that theyre being a follower when they are aware of such. heirs have an instinct to stick to comfort, rather than an instinct to be independent like maids. heirs still need to find their independence and autonomy, but need to do so because they can change things, theyre also very powerful when they play correctly. however, going against what they may feel is best and is more comfortable for them can be actively painful, early heirs often would rather be comfortable and happy even if things arent going well than take the difficult route, know that theyll suffer, and temporarily risk comfort and happiness in an attempt to reach an end they dont know will be there for sure. they can deal with suffering, but choosing to stay constantly aware of this suffering hurts and they struggle with dealing with the fact that they need to be aware to stop the suffering.

heirs change by picking up on subtle details naturally, subconsciously effecting those around them, making either themself or others interact with their aspect differently (or actively not think with their own aspect, in a positive way). heirs, when self aware, want to help. thats an important detail, and its why heirs are often protagonists, they dont have the ambition to do things that only benefit themselves when they realize theyre in a position of power. at their core, heirs usually want to make things better, but learning to move on and better themselves can hurt, and it takes a lot for heirs to to let it be apart of the process.

unhealthy heirs fade. they get so stressed out by getting hurt that they shrink back into themselves, they stick with what makes them comfortable and refuse to acknowledge that they and others are hurting, wrapped up in their more selfish instincts and becoming hard and stressful to deal with. "i want everything to be okay" becomes "i dont want to deal with the idea that nothings okay right now", soon getting to "im okay and you cant tell me otherwise, fuck you if you want to take this away from me, you cant stop me but i will stop you". of course, that last one can be useful if a heir were to use it to change things for the better, but the tunnel vision on "i want to be comfortable even if im making others uncomfortable" is, well. shitty. unhealthy heirs wont actively try to hurt anyone unless pushed, but they can they can still manage to through a lack of acknowledging that they have to help. and well, that sounds somewhat like tubbo, the hurting through a lack of helping, at the very least its present in things like him not visiting tommy during exile (partially because it was safer to just not challenge dream, partially out of guilt and belief that tommy hated him)

heirs of space specifically are about flitting from project to project, learning about what interests them, impatient when others dont share their excitement, and learning when to adapt and move on from things. generally, if i had to put a scale on it, id say tubbos most likely to be a heir, then a maid, then a seer. it all depends on what aspects of him you wanna focus on, really. seer tubbo is really interesting though! i think seers are more smug than he is though, not that he doesnt have his moments, but his tendency to believe hes right isnt all too prominent compared to other traits of his, and its less from a smug "i know whats right" and more just a firm "this isnt right, i have a better idea". he wants to do whats right, but if he feels like he doesnt know whats right, hes willing to rely on others, it just.. takes him a bit of pushing to admit such

#i took like 5 hours on this hope you appreciate it max /lh #i enjoy classpecting though and i enjoy tubbo even more so its alright #dsmp #tubbo #dsmp classpects #hs #angel answers #long post #(iirc about 14 or 16 paragraphs maybe? #*)

[mochees]

"𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗜𝗜"

-> headcanons, how they tell you they love you for the first time, part two!

characters: sakusa, iwaizumi, x fem!reader

warnings: fem reader, ✨healthy relationships✨, oikawa being oikawa

wc: 3.6K

a/n: WOAH okay uh did NOT expect that last set to be that popular,,,, y'all thirsty for love huh? me too anyway i thought id do a part two since i honestly really enjoyed writing the first set and my brain is vibrating with ✨thoughts✨ and seeing how much love it got really made me feel how i haven't felt in so long, so thank you! maybe ill turn this into a series so lemme know if u wanna see someone specific👀👀😏 also sorry for like posting and then dipping again lmao thats just my social media brand i have the attention span of a fucking worm

read part 1 here!

Sakusa Kiyoomi

okok i know its like common for sakusa to be shown as not interested in PDA (in private or public) unless hes feeling "needy"

BUT i believe that after a few weeks, maybe months if he's still unsure, he would definitely be much more comfortable with PDA

like, if its been a long time and your both serious about it and not just in a relationship to be in a relationship he starts to notice your routine

he notices the changes you make so that he's comfortable and so that you can be close to him without him being worried about icky yicky germy wormys (someone take away my thought privileges)

so now that he knows that you take care of your hygiene and exactly what you do for it, slowly he's wrapping an arm around you in 30° heat while you're both sweating

slowly he's "forgetting" his mask in the car for dates

slowly, but surely, he understands that a little bit of exposure, isn't a bad thing.

"kiyoomi?" your voice brought sakusa's eyes to yours where he could see the concern behind them.

"are you okay y/n?"

you'd decided, after three weeks of intense training and barely seeing your boyfriend, that you wanted just one day and one night with him. just the two of you, you know he'd never admit it, but he needed a break.

after atsumu decided to try out some new plays that didn't start off to well, sakusa had been silently groaning everytime he had to reach for something. he was excellent at making sure he wasn't overworking himself, and he wasn't, its just that the human body is an absolute wonder, and not in a good way. sometimes things that should have mildly injured you, left you with a tiny scrape, or a bruise or a very quick-to-fade red mark, and sometimes you drop a phone on your face and break your fucking jaw.

you offer him a gentle smile that completely washes away the concern in your eyes.

"im fine omi! but you," you reach your hands up to rest on both sides of his face turning his head side to side, studying it intensly.

"you're looking a little pale. and possibly grey."

"how do you mean y/n-chan?"

for such an intelligent man sometimes he really could be a himbo.

"i mean that i think you might be sick, baby."

sakusa stared blankly at you, as if he couldn't fathom the possibility of 'himself, sick?'

"omi? kiyoomi!" you nabbed his attention, "i think you're sick, and we best go home."

"but-" he started, but you were quick to cut him off knowing exactly what he was about to say.

"kiyoomi, it's inevitable. even if you were the worlds most decked out with ppe, and the worlds leading force in hygeine, you'd still end up catching a cold at least once. that's just how the world works baby. and don't worry about the date, all i want is to spend some time with you."

you ended up practically dragging your sad little puppy of a boyfriend back up the complex stairs and into his unit before settling him on the couch and getting to work.

"ill get you some water, you just sit here and relax. i don't want to think about what would happen if those dumbasses didnt have you there next week, bokuto and hinata would probably crack their skulls!" your attempt at a little light hearted humour helped sakusa forget for a moment, but he was quick to go back to not understanding how he was sick.

"thank you." he took the glass from your hand and rested it between his legs, when he noticed the rubber gloves you had clutched at your side. he knew what they were for, those were his cleaning gloves.

"what are you doing? you can't stay you'll..." he paused. "you'll get sick too."

"i'll be fine omi-omi! you just relax and drink lots of water, ill take care of this." you turned towards the wall with a soft smile before muttering, "ill take care of you."

sakusa watched you clean, the bucket full of diluted bleach, the duster, a cloth, and his cleaning gloves. he loved the way that they were too big for you, the way you kept having to pull them up every so often to keep them on. he loved the way that everytime he finished his glass of water, you were right there to fill it back up.

you don't even remember seeing, or hearing him lift himself from his spot on the couch and make his way over to where you were humming and covering the counters in the diluted solution. you felt a pair of big arms wrap around you, a chin on your shoulder and a kiss on your cheek.

"thank you, y/n. i love you."

thank god he caught a cold, or he might never have realized just how lucky he was.

Iwaizumi Hajime

family man

is a family man but not just ANY family man

yes, it's important to him that you like and respect his parents and vice versa

but its just slightly more important to him that you get along with his friends, his found family because im a SUCKER for the classic lilo n stitch trope

he knows that many people say that its his life and he doesn't need anyones approval etc.

but iwaizumi believes different, he believes that he doesn't need approval in the literal sense but rather approval through watching you interact with his friends and his family and how you do your best to learn about them and make time for them, even though you dont have to

and he thinks it's absolutely enthralling

the way your eyes light up when you see that book his mom has been talking about wanting to read and picking it up with no hesitation

how you're able to almost flawlessly keep up with issei and takahiro's antics while also making sure they don't go too far, something even iwaizumi struggles with

and most importantly, how effortlessly you connect with his childhood best friend.

there were many things that Iwaizumi Hajime enjoyed, volleyball, athletics, godzilla of course, spending time with three dumbasses (but he’ll never admit that) and a little while ago, he added you to that list.

you were so effortlessly able to connect with his team, his friends, and his family but most importantly, the way you were able to connect with Oikawa brought a smile to his face.

“oh, iwa-chan~, what are you admiring?” there he went again, Iwa thought, Tohru Oikawa’s dumb smirk and hyper awareness of his team, both on and off court. how he wated to head-butt him in the face. but, he showed restraint. after all, he wouldn’t want loserkawa to use you as a human shield from his head. so, he ignored the urge. but it passed as soon as he saw tohrus arm arond your shoulders, crossed feet and leaning on you ever so slightly while he took a few occasional swigs from his water.

and just like that, the incredible restraint vanished like morning mist.

you could practically see the steam coming off of his hot skin, and the vein popping out of his forehead, when you noticed what had him so heated. “trashykawa get your filthy hands off of my girlfriend!”

“excuse me!” he pouted, “my hands are clean and tailored! just like any responsible setters would be!” he stuck his lip out farther and gave you his irresistable puppy-dog eyes. “y/n-chan, i’m not filthy! am i?” he whined.

and, as the word suggests, his look was truly irresistable and you stumbled over your words. “n-no! of course not tohru!”

“see, iwa-chan! y-n thinks i’m squeaky clean!” his dumb smirk appeared again, and rather than continue with flirtykawas obvious games, Iwa opted for the less violen approach.

“don’t flatter yourself, dirtykawa. she’s just being nice.” he growled. “I’m done for the day, i have a project due. y-n.” he offered his hand to you like the gentleman he is not forcing you to take it, but the look in his eyes told you that he wanted you too.

“see you later, tohru!” you gave him a quick hug and intertwined your fingers with iwa’s.

now, technically, girls aren’t allowed in the boys locker room but since it’s after hours and just you and iwaizumi no one cared. to be fair though, literally no one knew except the team so, whatever you didn’t complain you got to watch yout ultra ripped boyfriend change. quality time. you thought, when you noticed him mid-change with his shirt over his head, resting on his arms. as any good girlfriend would, despite the devil on your shoulder, you came up behind him placing your hands on his seriously broad shoulders. taking notice of the tension, you started to work at the muscles. your care was quickly rewarded with a quiet sigh, and relaxed shoulders.

“hajime?” you continued rubbing at the tight fibers, “are you alright? you’re usually the one telling me im holding too much tension.” you giggled and he turned to face you placing one hand against the side of your face.

“hajime?” it came out shaky and worried.

“i’m okay,” he smiled “it’s just,” hesitation. he was never one to hesitate.

“i know i have no right to be but seeing oikawa so clingy with you it just, i dont know, it really gets to me i guess? he, just, he gets all the girls, all the attention, and i don’t want to-” you stopped him.

“sweetheart, it’s okay to be jealous or upset i’m not going to be angry, you have a right to your feelings. I understand how you feel, i never mean to flirt with him, if i ever have, i mean i don’t know, you know how bad of a flirt i am,” he chuckles at that. “it’s just that i know how important he is to you and you are so, so important to me and i want to be able to understand whats important to you, so you never have to choose between us, because that wouldn’t be fair. i love you, hajime iwaizumi, and everything about you.”

you expected him to be shocked, hell, he thought he would be shocked when or if you said it, but he wasn’t. and that’s exactly how he knew what to say next.

“i love you too, y/n l/n.” pressing a soft kiss against your lips.

“geez, it only took you two a century and forever.” someone snarked.

hajime chucked a towel at him “get out assykawa!” and he did, he bolted through the door laughing like the demon matchmaker he thought he was.

© sacchanwrites, 2021

do not repost, copy, or claim.

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#haikyu #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu!! #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu headcanons #iwazuimi #iwaizumi x y/n #hajime iwaizumi #iwa x reader #sakusa x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #hq iwaizumi #hq headcanons #hq anime #hq sakusa #hq fanfic

[thepictureofsdr]

Hey, what are your theories on what happens in Chain of Thorn. Like, obviously, we want Thomastair, and we want Jordelia, we also want Matthew to be happy. So, can you string a theory in which all of this happens?

hey anon thanks for the ask!!! I am so sorry this is long I just have a lot of thoughts

personally, I don't think we're going to get a fully satisfying conclusion, there's far too much happening and far too little time. This series is very different to what we've seen in the past, the main cast has a lot of emotional trauma from each other, rather than having each other to help with trauma from outside situations. they've all been through an alarming amount, and of course mental healing takes a lot of personal work and time, so either we're getting a time skip or some VERY rushed healing.

I think in this situation, my ideal COT would have all the conflict resolution in the beginning. I talked about thomastair in this post, they would get together in the beginning and we could watch them grow over the course of the book. cordelia and matthew stop hiding from their problems, cordelia goes back to actually being there for her heavily pregnant mother and chronically abandoned brother. james and cordelia sort everything out, they all have a talk with matthew and he decides to get help. while he's away for a bit, we see lucie and jesse try to make a case for him to stay alive. I feel like the family would agree so we could watch the institute petition to take him in, it really depends on what direction CC wants to go with for jesse's story. while I'm madly in love with the joshwood ship (kamala and eugenia) I hate to say it but I think we all know its not going to happen. id love to see alastair and kamala become friends, and with his support have kamala realize that she's never deserved the bullshit of anna. we'd get a confrontation scene and anna can spend a few chapters re evaluating her privilege and ignorance. with all the emotional fiascos sorted out hopefully in the first third (I hate how rushed it would be but it's only one book :/) we could have actual progress for the rest of the book, because ngl im sick of drama being dragged out with annoying tropes, interfering with easy plot solutions, and then suddenly being resolved.

no more of this miscommunication, secret keeping, lying. I think everyone just needs to open up and be honest, so we can have some actual emotional growth and healing over the course of the book as they all work together to tie up the paladin and belial situation. personally I really dont care that much about the technical plot I just really want the character arcs to be done justice.

alastair - gets to apologize to everyone properly and begins to forgive himself and heal. he also gets some apologies from the thieves, gains a friend group, and hopefully one of the parents steps in to give him the support elias ripped away. spends the book learning he holds value and his trauma wasn't his fault, that he can move on and he's loved.

thomas - gets closure for barbara and learns to let himself exist beyond the "kind" box everyone shoves him in. he and alastair have had wonderful communication from the beginning so they just need to keep doing what they're doing

cordelia - realizes she isn't at fault for the paladin situation and forgives herself. is open with james and they properly get married

james - is very complicated. I think he deserves a lot of time to sort his own emotions out, have some time alone, have talks with the people in his life, just have the essential "hi im actually in love with you talk" with cordelia at the beginning then spend the rest of the book healing while also helping out with the plot, hopefully ends the book in a good place emotionally.

matthew - spends some time away to deal with alcoholism. comes back in a much better, sober, and stable state, so he can recognize his own feelings and have talks with his important people, especially finally letting others help him with the guilt of the baby situation. of course they all still love him and he begins to believe his love is real. begins to learn to love himself and like who he is. I dont think he was ever really in love with cordelia (talked about here) so id like to see them fall back into that easy friendship.

lucie and jesse - im not really an expert on their arc, so id love to see them slow down the relationship now that one isn't on deaths door. id love to see jesse get to be there for grace properly and watch lucie be a badass and defend jesse's right to exist bc we all know the clave is gonna have issue with that.

christopher just needs to be appreciated please

kamala - gains some independence, realizes the manipulative shit anna's been pulling isn't okay, confronts her and realizes that she deserves more. solidifies her love for herself and gets to be open with who she is

anna - gets called out on her privileged, arrogant, ignorant, sometimes cruel view of relationships and fixes herself up bc I just know CC is gonna put her w kamala.

I genuinely dont know what to feel about grace. she's been through so much, she's cute with christopher but she's caused so much pain. immediate forgiveness would be BS but she still deserves some compassion. I have no idea what could happen w her, hopefully she could talk things out with james and matthew and have a pretty decent redemption arc. get this girl a parental figure and some friends stat

also with all of this emotional maturing id like the thieves to have a talk. they genuinely love each other so much but I think they've all spent too much time neglecting or focusing on each other. their friendship has a lot of potential to be incredibly close and strong and healthy. also they could have such fun friendships with alastair id like to see them forgive him fully.

we dont need all of these characters to be perfect by the end but id like some assurances that their healing has started with support and healthy foundations. there could be a time skip where they deal with the plot, we skip the healing and see them all happy and healthy in a few years but who knows.

tl;dr stupid miscommunication resolved in the beginning > emotional healing can happen across the book > plot gets resolved without miscommunication getting in the way

#answered

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

#fan fiction #fandom reflections #ask

[wizisbored]

You mentioned your Beef™ with the Chorn twist, and it reminded me that a while back I did actually come up with a different way the twist could've been handled.

Basically, I figured that if you were to still follow the "undercover all-knowing alien" thing, it should've been Molag who reveals herself as omniscient in the end instead of Chorn, as like a funny way to explain her narrator powers. Molag doesn't share her knowledge with the rest of the tribe bc that's just how Molag is, but says that the tribe's got a lot of work to do to set humankind on the right path, so it still segues into Make the Most of It.

And maybe just as like a little silly gag, you could imply that Chorn was also in on it, but never outright state it. Idk, just a thought.

oh my fucking god that would be perfect, that would solve both of my major points of beef with it ESPECIALLY with her not sharing her knowledge. i mean, id rather it just Did Not Happen but if it had to that’d be the way to do it - funny little joke that you can look back over the show and think ‘yeah that makes sense’, and doesnt fucking go back on some of the most important thematic elements of the show. ive started writing up my whole Thing i have about it and im going to post it soon but yeah, thats a good fucking solution.

bit of a tangent, but i also have minor beef with how jemilla proposes with her own version of what if but zaz just repeats the regular lyrics of the ‘this is the dawn’ bit with the order of the last two lines swapped, and i did think of a way they could have tweaked them a bit to make it more personal:

this is the dawn, the dawn of our time

i see it in your eyes, we’re gonna do it right this time

and then the chorus could still sing the mankind line. not perfect (i dont really like the repition of ‘time’) but it just bugs me that jemillas is so personal and zaz’s isnt

[neonwizardheehee]

personal rant & brain dump bc I’m listening to bigbang and feel emo:

so i have a few topics that are circling my mind thus this will get messy (as usual hahaha)

- music as I said I’m listening to bb and the way I wanna cry??? mainly bc i miss my sis talking about them and being all happy and proud.. and just her in general v.v I feel like i overdid her with kpop and that doesn’t feel good. i was supposed to be the baby but i got too invested and now i am so damn invested i scare her :((( it makes me so sad :( but idk how to stop.(current mood & playing: let’s not fall in love) 

 - romance the new girls i met here are so different from the friends i have bc they are extroverts. i never had extroverts as friends before so i feel blessed now. we only met recently but they already were so open to me about things no one ever told me. like 3/4 girls i met talked to me about their first time and BOI i was so glad that we casually talked about it bc my other friends wouldn’t do that in a million years bc they are too shy. it really felt good. also no one judged me which was very reassuring. albeit me feeling a bit dumb bc i couldn’t really add to the convo but apparently I get better at listening ig? also that made me think that sex and dating shouldn’t be such an “important” topic as it is with my friends before. one friend sees it as an achievement to have a s/o but doesn’t talk about it or either brags (kskssk giiirl that’s so funny yet annoying XD yes u can be proud of your boi and brag bc i’m here for that bc i’m just so happy for you but ... not at random moments XDD). this made me realize how ppl refer to their s/o when talking to others. bc my friends who are very chill with their relationship always say their name while said friend (and ofc some others where having a relationship is important) always say “my bf/gf” or “ex” when that specific info is not relevant to the story they are telling XD

anyways it also made me realize how BAD i am with talking about my own feelings and wishes. since talking about my worries feels like complaining and i am good at that - but it feels random and uninteresting for anyone to hear i think to myself (it prob isnt). i feel so smol when asked about that topic and all i wanna answer is “???”. even if there is no pressure. idk why I’m like this and it makes me feel sorry for the people around me :( I’m so confused and idk what the question is. i can do better with writing but idk why but i wanna find out one day hahah. maybe i should just ask my new friends for advice since they are not judging me and i trust them and want to learn to be better with that. altho there’s this thought that I’m uncapable of love which frightens me a lot. I know i’m okay without it and i don’t mind but i feel so sorry for the people who like me? it also might be natural and I’m just stressing myself over nothing so idk what to ask and do -since you can’t force love right? i mean i don’t really believe in love at first sight i guess but rather spending time with that person and liking them a lot. so id why I’m pressuring myself so much with this :( maybe i am just too scared? or maybe i am anticipating too much? it all could be possible bc for everyone love is different and every relationship is different. so it’s mostly me feeling sorry for not giving back as much as i should and could :( - that’s also the reason why I’m so pro polyamorus relationships bc I know I’m not enough and idk how and if i want to fix that bc idk the rules bc there are none hahhaha - but also that makes me feel good bc i know i’m not responsible for someone’s happiness. i am too egoistical and these thoughts work as a self-protecting mechanism I KNOW that’s why i do this. so i’m not stressing myself even more. i just feel so unfairly precious when someone genuinely praises me when we’re just two ppl and no one else :( might be bc i don’t understand that feeling yet. i def want to know that but also i’m scared that it’d take me down a road where i loose myself (for some foolish reason idk why). so in the end ig I keep trying and get used to that (i already made loads of progress this year so ig i shouldn’t feel like I’m being too slow)

- studying okay so next topic is also just me feeling like i do too few. this week went quite okay and i managed to study on out study server everyday (ofc i had my bad days but i still at least smth). well yesterday i hastily did some vocab and then teh whole day i spend with friends & kpop... like LITERALLY until the night. a friend of mine was proud of me for taking a break (me too yesterday) but today i don’t feel good about that :( i missed so much. i’m scared it’ll kick me out of my study routine (since it was so hard to get my ass down to study itself!). i really want to be the person who’s studying every day and feel good about that. so since i have another thing planned today i don’t think i’ll get much done today as well :(((( i just wanna be a wise guy who knows a lot T.T i already made progress i know but... i want more.. i really wanna do well here and not be stuck behind like i was for the past 6 years :( i wanna have ambition again and not just pass... i kind of hope i can manage to study at nights on days like this but also i need my sleep so i stil have to find a solution for that. bc even tho i regret not studying as much i don’t regret hanging out with people. that’s smth i missed out in my first semester and so important in times like this were I’m stuck on my own. 

- religion so i have one christian friend here and yesterday we talked about church services and stuff like that and it was cool learning how it’s with her bc she goes to a very modern church (instead of me going to a traditional one 4 times a year). Suddenly i got sad tho and felt like crying :( even tho she was just stating her opinion i felt attacked and wanted to cry. after some thinking i think it’s just the way we are used to talking about religion bc we both grew up in an area where religion is looked down onto. for me .. i turned to myself and made up my own thoughts and beliefs bc i am too scared to talk and ask someone about it bc of all the accusations around me. religion was not smth to be discussed and only smth for yourself and maybe your family for me. the girl had to fight her way through all the “churches are old and fucked up and scary” things and since she goes to a modern one has good reasoning against them - that’s perfectly understandable and I’m so proud of her for speaking up like that. but like... it hit me on thw wrong side bc i am used to these old traditions and kind of like them even :( so it felt like she was insulting me. even tho she wasn’t.  i just dont know how to talk about religion and how to practice reading the bible or praying and hearing her talk about how she does all these things.. makes me feel invalid :( it’s like the only thing that i have is that i was raised a christian. but y’know for me it was okay since i learned in school not to practice or show my religion.. so idk how to do it... and i feel baby and sad if i have to ask her for some reason. i tried to look up this on the internet but ofc everyone is even more crazily involved there and it scares me SO much. so i unfollowed everyone hahah. i also have this one podcast but i still feel bad bc i’m not able to really read the bible on my own ig :( these days I’m just blaming it on the translation that i have but deep down i know it’s me who’s not able to ask questions at the text. maybe i should try to talk to someone... my sis who’s also in the same situation as me... or said girl to take me along and feel like a complete newbie and a little bit like an outcast bc religion for me is so different than to her.

- christmas i really enjoy the christmas spirit but i also already wanna cry if i think about gifts. i hate that i have so many people i love and will prob get smth from them so i have to make smth in return. i am overwhelmed and scared already. i didn’t even make a list yet T.T feels like i should block time to figure out gifts in my schedule bc I’m just putting it off more and more :( and also i already feel sorry for everyone bc they will get shitty gifts bc I’m so bad at this :(

#now i feel drained and want to cry in your arms just bc #what am i so gloomy for today? #anyways sry if you read this #i truly am sorry #NOT @ SPOTIFY FOR PLAYING BABY DON'T CRY #not okay i just

[sirjustice169-blog]

Reality

With the holes beneath the earth are true then it will reduce the cargo at the port cities of the world i.e Mombasa and that's the fear on commodities that aint to awkward or big not to pass via the hole elevating customs imposed at the port of entry thereby making such goods cheap more than if they passed via the port.

You can go with the debris like garbage bit by bit up-to below the hole described above with ya drone with as well rods that pass slightly on the hole diameter where on intervals u dig holes on the sides b4 fixing the rods to fit on the 2 holes b4 welding as u can have the welding machine handy then hang the garbage on the fixed road 1 after another at intervals until it reaches the top of the earth then ask the devil to form concrete and seal the hole from below to above just the same way roads are made and boom along winter tunnel or summer depending on ya location is sealed of concrete and the people who did so in hell can be excused but its utility is explained above so it futile and the Government should bar more such holes to be dug period

Or place iron sheets then b4 another sheet place like 10 cm in width plastic sheet but not visible to strangers as it got same roofing color at alternating style 1 after another so that u can place electric wires both positive and negative at those intervals to electrocute the same intruder if he happens to touch or land in between the two iron sheet separated with the 10 cm width plastic sheet but much of it absorbed into the 2 iron sheets explained above just like 1 cm that separates reality the 2 sheet above to allow electrocution services and beef security as much as induce an alarm sound system beeped up with the camera with night vision described below as well the led flash light on the roofing can be opened at that time to scare the intruder more, i mean to introduce coldness unto her more as to make her fear dude period. Security maximum lady!!!!! Like in the link below fellows

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=alternating+iron+sheet+and+translucent+plastic+roofing+style+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiOl-jM4qvpAhXuShUIHZnqApQQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=635

New York is good with studying my friend, i don't know why, dude, time elapse faster as it makes they day shorter as opposed to other much places i have been too and it gets into ya mind faster what is being tought and eagerness en-crops ya as wanting the next teacher not exhausted as usual with other places and i guess the reason why many best seller are from there than any place. And Jada-kiss in the song link below alludes to us that indirectly where he wears an oversize jacket that many want not the above and can even kill ya, the only hope left 4 such is 4 u to ride a motor bike b4 being left alone as many now aspire to be there as now NY good cause along time it was bad cause was big and there4 could rob ya your cash out of catching a train or a cab, so with E-bikes they long to be there even tourists booking have increased dramatically like in the song link below dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5Wswlfr08Q

If u love nyong’o rather Nyoyo as Githeri or pure, bure, free-dom u love Ny city and thats what jesus meant another version with King of ther Jewomen to bring out adequate truth.

Another area where many can make cash is they skari ngulu syrap with Grown ginger to avoid ya body parts change with other being ones to alternate ya thinking and behavior that can bring uproar in people as they don't understand ya and give ya bad names of misbehavior. Dont just get into the habit of locating peoples house b4 u belittle them with nothing at hand or u know better, yet they know better than ya, what have u come up with now that u r leaving in a posh or stone houses or eating 1 plate of food that is the question not the above, provided i got utility or productive in the society and my eating much aint all that conspicuous then so be it, maybe white are evading that virtue of eating much as it opens much ya mind than eating less. Friends desist from above as it weakens other people to slow down economic progress and snooping at people attires and start despising them cause with u, u got an online bank u withdraw from so it doesn't pinch ya. Got me dude,mind ya own progress

If u wanna give a man pussy to hit, give him girl, not necessarily he got to be rich or have that posh home, even in the bush the penis can meet the vagina and u know not can be the biggest ejaculation or orgasm of ya life never experienced again lest u go back to that same same bush place period dude!!!

Dont behave like Mr Hindu, let it go, if got swag and some little cash,let no man cross ya side provided u have obeyed the law, don't give in like a lady does when seduced yet a man, signals hunger yet u proclaim above. Useless, start parking and get home early b4 humiliation dude, Stop that scrap dude. GET THIS STRAIGHT A man was born ones and will die once don't fear getting home boy.

white people make houses and buildings as vehicles made explained in tumblr a/c 166 but Africans made their eroding the land saying they did not know as insane of that could take 1 to hell, to build u got to think just like with furniture and welded gates they cut and make,it means being wise while whites makes as described above, so they can evade hell with that justification dude, get it straight bro 

Skali ngulu is a by-product of grown sugar cane and grows every where as much as Ginger and u can google that, so with the above syrup the mind of soldiers cant be interrupted to allow defeat and described above. With machines parts or coins that cut ya hand, they do that so u buy another hand altogether when times has gotten rough like now, when u kill all Nile perch the above still surface bro, u cant destroy God in 1 iota even with high breed seeds the devil gives them to u, where u place the normal seed in water and do the above and boom ya seeds formed period. Like in the link below, now get to those places dude, stop looking 4 the dead among the living homies, think big dude

https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-leading-ginger-producing-countries-in-the-world.html

https://www.facebook.com/432406693886280/photos/a.901721923621419/901919600268318/?type=3&theater

Like an approaching van meets ya the same way sex should meet ya, don’t discuss it like often, simplifies young mind,just like with urinating finds ya.

Rather live in stone houses and bricks as those were dry lands than on mad house as it was fertile land and makes u land in hell much more faster not only if u make artificial top soil and seal the place it came from with, where on water add few and sprinkle saliva upon the mixture and boom its formed as well as with brick houses, take ya to hell fire if u fail to obliged to the above. It only becomes cumbersome if the sand was gotten on a river bed and it changed its course or drainage, that is the judgement that will be open against ya at that time dude.

Now if they see u with shoes, any, even just new they look at it as old, cause they want people to buy the modern kids wear type of many color made by the masai and kamba and some few coast people where in cut ripe banana, ripe mango, guava, melons mixed with water or honey solution as well as yogurt or cuddled milk then place same few sample unto the mixture or photo of and do the above and boom they are formed and amy such shoes or different types. Lets avoid the whole drama bro!!!!

https://www.flipkart.com/footwear/kids-infant-footwear/crocs~brand/pr?sid=osp%2Cmba

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/762304674412111398/

Some people who r 1st buy the Tv in the link below cause it gives ya false idea on people and instigate the heart of belittling things in ya so they put that as an excuse not to get into hell fire at judgment day. If ya neighbor had such or a repair next to ya or places u used to get to, then it can be an excuse 4 ya to avoid hell fire at judgement time if u knew not of the side effect. 1 like in the link below, the 1 written 60 inch Sony big screen

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+old+sony+big+tv&client=ms-google-coop&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=GulvJR4JgMvqDM%253A%252CU5Xm0dWj92iWjM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kSrQtBxjc_J766_2aDdRMibysMVJg&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjByJ2K6KjpAhWK5OAKHQYSCdsQ9QEwAHoECAoQHg&biw=1024&bih=635#imgrc=GulvJR4JgMvqDM:

Theft will be no-more as per the bible means, every gadget batch/serial no can be ya Id no or any property u got like shoes or cloths got the above as ya serial so can be traced easily and moreover will have the bracelet below technology to detect it like from ya phone and closed not with screw like oppo phones so can open and change the stuff to resell it again without notice. When opened with fire will be known so no 1 buys so deters criminals to steal the same to bar the above theft to cement bible reality not that people will be off good manners, in some cases on big machines wireless controlled grenade can be place so detonated to know where the gadget is to get it again so will bar many thieves from still such to promote the above reality. Taking shower or a shit in dirty filthy places can take ya to hell cause people knows ya spending thrift so u will be asked how much was a portacabin shower as ya body is the temple of Christ, so desist dude.

Cabbage cut mixed with cold sewer water then hurl water using a syringe many people gives gadgets like double door fridges, certain cars or vehicles as loris buses, Generators, jets, rockets, missiles, container portacabin houses and many hardware tools u can try with or place photos of such to replace cut cabbage still gives ya the same even motorbike parts and of vehicles. This gives ya as well as Christmas lighting and other accessories. The sewer water is placed in a dug like swimming pool structure where the above samples inserted or photos and boom what u want formed like even gates, metallic windows and doors and metallic office and home apparatus like seats, tables and dinning as much as utensils etc.

When u hurl cold milk unto cut cabbage mixed with cold sewer water it gives ya fridges, home appliances or office or kitchen ware and shower/toilet ceramics and even office appliances,

Same to wire mesh hurl soapy or bathing water gives ya Double door fridges, big stereos like Sony, Lg, Homeflower Panasonic, studio appliances as recording house or in photography and office stationery, light rails, trains, E-vehicles or machines, jets as much as placing such photos in sewer water in a container which even gives u guns, detonators, internet/decoder severs and military vehicle if u spit saliva upon the content of the container in the dark.

Where kebi leaves along time in 1 of the houses is where peter corpse was taken to rot, such houses are left, in that to hell the society, if people lives there they rather became insane like if they cant use the Bar Kalare water to do the same, so stop blaming ya kid as not fast, where u live along time maybe 1 had died and rot their or was stone to death or fire engulfed him in the house,its more effectual if the deceased was a renowned fellow like with peter even in the USA, such left houses which are at a convenience place and cheap has such characteristic so can change ya behavior so desist and relocate as early as possible and the better 4 ya.

If u can hustle good still aint a pass that u can have much a woman, they look at how u will behave minus education, jail ban and if life has been closed to ya what will u do as kill ya-self, go down in life and its precisely what they are locating more than disturbing others. Better die that put others in ya disturbance as this bars ya from having many kids even is industrious and how u can leave an argument without getting pissed off as ya kids will be the same. It qualifies ya if u wanna as many want not, rather, again they r forced with women cause to find such was like finding Gold A decade ago as the society can rot if such like u atrophies and are needed many and if u can just sit in the house after having ya small house and all home appliances like being incarcerated behind bars in jail which if u can its a plus and qualify u 4 the above or forced even in death after ya testis broken and sperms taken and its 1 reason the whites can liaise with not knowing Africans to forge ya ways to their nation to kill ya and take the same, so take heed dude, sometimes change ya character to be bad to avoid the above. Have the 2 sides of Hannah character bro 4 best survival in this world, if i tell ya not then who will tell ya bro,no 1 but ya homy!!!! Well, good and well said, thank bro!!!

Behind the houses not a long business premise opposite corner legio shopping center in ksm, that old block house in the middle with a fence without a gate opposite a small food vendor-ship was a church and Christ and his parents attended church there.

coin new cut ya appendages like in the link below

https://www.instagram.com/p/B_7PirSjSun/            

How the white people used to generate power in their country side at night while in the day uses a 12 DV geared motor to rotate the same to give power like in the link below

https://www.facebook.com/shaktigenerator.patiala/videos/548259622731799/?t=27

Buy seats at sky Garden    

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If u know how to make E-motorcycles then u know how to make the alternator or no-fuel generator so African nations stop liaising with the Eu or Far est and try to save the day like explained in tumblr a/c sirjustice200 like Kenya Fika and Uganda and Rwanda already made motor-bikes.

Even welded windows if u take their photos and place in sewer water gives ya that type of window or door u want as much as bed, even nails and bared wires made that way.

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Buy the dimple type of key below if u got less cash to secure the combination 1 or automated 1 yet the duplicate makers has not learnt the trick yet and many new, to dim off their lights on this crazy super highway

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U get to good sanitary homes rest rooms but me i get to a pi latrine, well, good enough but do u know if not the above vices, yet i know ya darkest secrets as i have blocked ya dubious ways. Dude stop as death do not dare me, with me i can be giving ya part of my food daily, it destroys me and to take care of others kid, it gets into me bro, if with ya ist okay then with me its not okay and loving a woman with black lips, rather i die bro and waiting 4 me at my door to the point of bringing confusion as gimmicks i hate kids but i don’t beat them, well, leave me alone bro. What do u want, when i talk of not burial but rather cremation they saying strangling yaself belongs to dogs cause they wont eat ya flesh openly. Bank people its over and don’t want it from me as a stock laid in store, rather be poor with ya to stop giving me names as u give some Mr big man not in-tune with ya but from me u wont ride on my back.

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The bank people in Kenya contributed cash to derail kebis efforts in the USA and now wanna dine with him, can not happen. While at the bank i resided in a friends home, what u r saying i know not. Go ya way, u stupid fellows, who want good life from people and must be employed as people must thick 4 them, u daylight fool and braggarts!!!!

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With me a woman will come to my house, aint a dog that u r forcing me to get to a woman’s place to here how i cry more than her and put it to laughter or ridicule. I done told ya, that my back is straight u wont ride on me and aint a ladder/staircase/road to ya destiny period

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[thefeckisthis]

hello darkness my old friend.

well im not quite sure why this title nor what exactly am i going to write about, i just had the need to write. ever had that feeling? no? oh. ok.

its been a while since last post, many things had happened, fun, annoying,stressful, interesting and so on and some may expect sassy posts like first two and thats not going to happen with in this one, sorry not sorry.  ive been feeling the need to write about anxiety, not entirely sure why, just a feeling in me telling me to do so so lets see where it goes.

apologies for spelling mistakes because in these  last couple of sentences ive had so many red lines that makes me think can i even spell -_- (hello brain, you there?)  confidence is a tricky things. you are not born with it, you have to build it up. god knows i had no confidence before and i still struggle with it sometimes, especially with my anxiety - sometimes it can affect it really bad. when anxiety, i want to talk about because i think these kind of things should be talked about.

my anxiety levels are still not alarming but they are at that level when it can definitely affect my daily life, especially on bad days. ive definitely learned how to cope with it, sometimes it cant be helped. i definitely suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad) with medium to high social anxiety - https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder (which many people don’t believe heh) and ive discovered some unusual phobias that I have also count as anxiety issues (trypophobia,  Emetophobia, fear of knives are some of mine examples) so it can  vary from person to person.

(imagine having all those on almost daily basis, yaaay)

i know, lots of people will say ah everyone is tense and stressed, we all must have anxiety. no, just dont. its not the same. occasional stress is normal, anxiety is completely different. its not easy to be in constant worry phase, being triggered by small things (coffee can easily trigger mini panic attacks, been there done that), small inconveniences, theres so much to it.

another awful part of it is overthinking. that is what used to kill me and mess up relationships i had with people. one small  thing can set you back so much. as ive mentioned, some people learn how to deal with it and some people seek for help, and both of those things are amazing. letting it affect you is not amazing.

talk to someone, youre not alone.

i always tell people to not be afraid to talk to me about their problems, because i do know how it is, i do understand. i had some people who dont understand as much as they think they do and when id open up to them they would say just stop worrying, its ok.

uuuhm like no. thats the whole point. my brain cant stop worrying. thanks for letting me on deepest secrets of the world, appreciated. high chances are that we do actually know that but its sometimes impossible to stop worrying. if i could do that so easily i wouldnt be suffering from anxiety, right? 

do i have panic attack? yes i do. had more before, now it got down to 2-3 in 6 months, so thats around 6 a year. last year i had full blown panic attack, worst that i ever had, my whole body just shut down and i was crying for full on 45mins, not being able to breathe, talk or move. sounds fun, eh?  and lets go back to social anxiety, as ive said people say that i dont seem like an introvert or that i have any struggles with that.

i do tho. i just dont let it be stronger than me. my head and my body in social situations can be in full panic mode but ill be there sitting with smile on my face. there were social gatherings or parties where i would end up sitting on my own, trying to fight tears and the emotions in me would be bubbling and getting worse and my common sense would be trying to fight them, thats why i end up sitting in corner like a weirdo. meting new people? socializing? that doesnt sound fun for me at all, i usually just avoid situations like that. i will talk most of the time and joke and its just because my common sense is trying to fight anxiety while at the same time my anxiety is trying to take over.  i wish i can explain what is going on in my head. 

if you invite me to go somewhere with you, dont leave me. please. thank you.

it has also affected my job, if i get a task im not sure what to do, or im told to just amend something, i just wish to get up and leave until my head gets clear. ive noticed small things i tend to do when i feel that anxiety is getting higher than i want it to be, eg ill start picking at my nails, ill bite my lip till it hurts, just shut down and stare blankly, taking deep breaths, shaking my hands to stop them from shaking (weirdly i think itll shake off my stress), do weird stuff with my hands, or all combined. rare people noticed all the things and actually knew when i was starting to get my anxiety attacks and they were really helpful.

how to help someone if you see them starting to have anxiety attack?

people deal with anxiety different ways, dont just assume one thing will help everyone. - for example hug wont make me calm, im not a fan of human touch in general and hugging me when im having an attack will only make me more stressed and more triggered and itll make everything worse. - dont force the person to talk about it, rather just ask them if they want to talk about it, if they dont, please dont leave them, just sit there in silence that means a world. -if they do want to talk about it, never, and i repeat never say dont worry its nothing or just stop worrying and think happy thoughts. 

- talk with them about it, or let them talk. ask what is the issue, why does it make them feel that way, just try to find solution slowly. - if a person starts crying, let them cry. crying is amazing way to release the tension and it will help the person to feel more at ease - if you do notice early signs of anxiety attack, change the environment, divert the person, make them think of something different

- dont make the person walk or do something they dont want to, it will cause things to go worse, personally ill probably just sit and curl up and cry my eyes out but for the love of god dont touch me or make me walk, my body is just not able and its causing more stress

- after the attack calms down, let person go on with their life, dont talk about it straight after. let them fully calm down. some people (most cases me) will be ‘normal’ after the episode (after my big one i straight away started joking how disgustingly runny my nose was from crying)  and some people will take a bit longer

We are all different in handling the situations. Anxiety like every other disorder is not easy and it has to be taken seriously. If you have it, if you know someone who has it, please talk to those people. Be supportive. Dont make them feel like there is something wrong with them. Small conversation and an ear to listen can go a long way.

be a friend and be a human.

#new post #new blog #anxiety #panic attack #mental heath support #mental health #support #be human #friends #talk to someone #talk to me #Followme

[houseki-no-suffering]

What do you the changes would be if Houseki no kuni had a Christian theme rather than a Buddhist theme?

before we get into this, i’d like to use Aechmea as an example.

Every time I look at him I think “wth man, you want salvation? you want heaven? you want to be free?? then wth are you doing??? stop making the same mistakes over and over. Stop trying to control stuff, accept things as they are, love selflessly, find beauty in what you see, acknowledge your mistakes and make an effort to be a better person. Find God. Change.”

Ofc it’s never gonna happen, because HnK is not a Christian story. But if it were, then Aechmea’s problem would have an easy solution. He’s on the moon cause he sinned? Ask God for forgiveness. You wanna be free? Atone for your sins. Done, peace, everyone lived happily ever after.

Except this doesn’t make sense because, if HnK had a Christian theme, it’d make no sense for souls to be on the moon in the first place. It’d make no sense for humanity to go extinct and for the world to still go on. It’d make no sense for the Lustrous to exist.

This is to say: there is just no way HnK could have a Christian theme cause it would just not be HnK anymore. HnK is built around Buddhism and Japanese culture. It is literally wired in the way HnK is. It’s in the story, the narrative, the characters, the way they look and talk, in what they do and in what they seek (and how). Ultimately, HnK can be interpreted as Ichikawa’s own way to question a cultural and/or religious system of beliefs. 

It is a deconstruction of typical Buddhist narratives and readers who are more familiar with Buddhism will catch on that quite easily (and break it to you way better than me).

Maybe that’s part of the appeal that HnK has for the western community: it’s just so different from anything else you can find. Even if you’re already familiar with manga or Japanese culture. It’s just something else, it’s not just a Buddhist tale: it’s a deconstruction. An extremely intimate, personal deconstruction too.

The questions HnK arises about existence, about time, redemption, wanting, truth… the questions that shape HnK’s narrative are just foreign to Christian stories, or treated in a completely different way.

Just like Buddhism, Christianity is huge and there are a lot of differences among faiths, but generally speaking Christian-themed stories tend to:

be centered around a clear-cut dichotomy between good and evil (which is usually the origin of the story’s conflict)

be shaped by concepts like love, true love, forgiveness, damnation, success, self-sacrifice, absolute truth, hope, family, temptation etc. The characters can accept or refuse these values, but there’s always an idea that absolute truth (= God) is/was real. Romance is also a big thing

feature Christian symbolism (crosses, pietas, women = motherly, sweet, caring vs sensual, evil etc.) 

have a precise/definitive ending. It can be good or bad but there’s no concept of reincarnation in Christianity: you got one life, you got a specific amount of time so make the most of it cause it’s gonna end

feature difference and individuality as a good thing. This is actually smth i find interesting and that shows how different the various faiths can be. I believe this trait originated from Calvinism or the Protestant branch? Cause it’s a pretty big deal in countries like the US, while countries with a majority of Orthodox or Catholic Christians don’t put so much emphasis on individuality

This is just an oversimplified scheme ofc, there’s a lot more to these things so take this with a pinch of salt. Yet, you can already see how different this is from HnK. You could try to apply some of these elements to HnK and change the story, but you’d soon realize that you’d have to change literally everything to make it a Christian story.

The gems live forever? Doesn’t make sense, let’s make them mortal. Life is short though, how do they deal with that? With doom? With time? How about hubris? What about the dead gems? Did they go to heaven? Do the gems question heaven and hell? Do they question God? Do they live life as a gift or a curse?

What about the lunarians? Oh wait, you only live once in Christianity, so yeah, no Lunarians, gotta make up a new enemy. What did this enemy do? Do the gems struggle with forgiving? What about sameness? What about purpose and work? Sin? Temptation? Good vs evil? What about the imagery and the character design?

The questions just keep coming and the more you work around these elements, the more you’ll see that you’re just creating a completely, utterly different story. 

And I have no idea how Japanese culture could fit into all of this. The only example of Japanese anime/manga full of Christian imagery I can think of is Evangelion. But even then the religious theme looks more like a decoration than an actual deconstruction of Christian narratives. 

So it’s really hard to imagine how HnK’d have turned out with a Christian rather than Buddhist theme. It just wouldn’t be HnK anymore.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #meta #Anonymous

[01010010-posts]

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕💖💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’(  love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”

#3 ldr and 7 yrs in total have prepared me for this fic #i love how everyone in the fandom thinks of miku as connor & viceversa #DBH #connor x reader #RK800 x reader #dbh RK800 #RK800 #connor #dbh connor #detroit become human #dbh imagine #writing #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #longdistancerelationship #ldr #android #self-insert

[yesihateyouuniverse-blog]

I don't want to do this life anymore

RELIGION: I believe in God but I don't trust him because none of it makes sense or adds up. Id like to believe that we've got to be her for some reason or reward because here is miserable and a disgusting place. But any further than that I just don't know. Nothing makes sense even if this is what they say it still doesn't add up. Like even if we're here to take a test it's not fair because everyone is taking a different one and was born with different strengths and weaknesses. And has different advantaged and disadvantages. I just don't get it and supposedly if we are taking a test and "god already knows if we will choose good or bad and we're just here learning about ourselves & what we'll choose." That's stupid too like why didn't he just make us the way he wanted us to be afterall he can supposedly do anything. And how is it fair he got to be in charge and have power over us and our lives . That's not fair. Why doesn't anyone think far enough to realize how messed up that is . Like if you had a kid and then you controlled them , you chose for them to be born, how you raise them, and Control their every aspect what they can and cannot do and give them a set of rules A . they can do these things and get treats and happiness or B . they can do these things and get no treats and locked in a dark closet for the rest of your existence. Like what if we dont want either options . What if we want to do what we want .what if we never even wanted created in the first place. And why are some people just naturally good caring people and other people just naturally evil disgusting people who go around hurting people with no remorse. And why are some people naturally extroverts and some people naturally I introverts. And we all have our own personalities were born with . These things don't come from our parents or Satan . They come from god or whoever created us. And if he wanted us to be a certain way or be thankful for everything he did for us he could have just made us perfect or however he wanted if he has all power. There would be no need for this earth and all of the things that happen on it . And he would be able to control Satan from doing bad things. It's not our fault if stupid Satan chose to be bad we shouldn't have to pay for that. It just all doesn't add up. I'd like to believe there is some reason that's actually legit that why we have to go through all of this shit here in hell. Cuz it's not fair and it's not right! And to add females have it way unfair compared to men. And why's god a man too?

DEPRESSION / ANXIETY: Life is not worth living with them. Sure they have meds, counselors, psychiatrist etc.. but they don't help that much and it's hard as hell to find a decent counselor but even then they can only do so much. You'll never feel more alone in life than when you have either or both of these things. Sure theses doctors go to school to try and understand and cure these illnesses but they can't because no one person is the same or feels the same way. You are the only one in your head and no one else can see, understand, or feel that. And some things I don't want to work on and some things can't be resolved . I never asked to have depression or anxiety so why do I have to work like hell to try and cure it. I may stubborn but at the same time I can't turn off the racing thoughts in my head, the panic attacks, and the depression is a dark cloud that hangs over my head and I have no control over it how hard I try it has complete power over me. And there's no one who understands or can relate and so I can't talk to anyone about it and I can't deal with it either cuz nothing helps and it's so painful it would at least help to have someone to talk to even if there is no solution to it. INTROVERTS: We are in the minority and we're constantly hounded and put down for simple being who we are. If that's not a self esteem blow I don't what is. We have to constantly take digs from everyone we come in contact with and it's a very personal offense because their making fun of or putting down for something that's just part of our personality that we don't chose or have control over. It's just part of who we are and that's just that. I had to teach myself that it's OK for me to be who I am (an introvert). And learn that extroverts are born without the ability to see outside of themselves or empathize. They are selfish self centered creatures and closed minded and they will never change whereas introverts can understand their ways and except that it's a different and not try to change them. Or think we are better than them. They are all the same they do the same things because they are sheep that don't have opinions of their own they just follow whatever society/ majority of population does. So they can't understand introverts, people who don't want kids, or people who don't just follow a religion etc. They see these people as trying to stand out, be different, rebel, or selfish. When the truth is we just think for ourselves and are creative to come up with ideas rather than just follow like a heard of blind sheep. KIDS: People who have kids or wants kids call people who don't have and don't want kids, selfish. When in truth either choice is selfish. As you yourself make that choice. That choice is made by you and what YOU do or do not want. And some people who don't want kids actually don't want them for good selfless reasons. Which a person who wants kids would never consider. Most people have kids because they want it to either control it or to feel loved by it or to try and live through it and make up for the life they wish they could have had through that child. Or majority just has a kid cuz they were just having sex and to stupid and selfish and to use protection. Only concerned about themselves and their personal hormones and pleasure. And you know it takes two to make a baby but neither the guy nor the girl care so they pop out a baby because taking care of a child for 18 years and paying 50,000 is a much more reasonable solution than buying a $1 condom or going to a healthcare place and getting free ones! And saving you and the other parent all the stress of raising a kid you didn't want, and saving the kid from feeling unloved or growing up with no stability in its life being passed back and forth between parents. Or not ever meeting it's mom or it's dad cuz. And having to stay in communication with your ex or one night stand partner for the next 18 years . I could go on but I'll stop. Anyway people with kids your kids aren't the shit your just biased cuz your suppose to love the damn things. And you don't need to be so protective, no one wants your snot covered poop filled diaper screaming little ugly human . And you sure as hell don't need to tell people what they should do with their lives of they don't want kids they don't need to have them and who the hell are you to try and make them feel like their in the wrong for not having them . I'm sorry are you god and you know everything? Oh nope didn't think so🙄.

[survivorsunsetrodeo]

Ep 12 | Leave Me For Dead - Dan

The way I didn’t yee my last haw

https://prnt.sc/xt4mn2 the way this actually ended up happening

so to recap: taylor has decided for some reason that she will no longer speak to me, my rodeo bf has disappeared off to the woods indefinitely without leaving me any sort of gameplan OR that idol he has, and josh/emma take 12 hours to reply to anything i send.

the only bright spot today has been dan... bless dan disbrow for always making me feel better and being funny and kind. really truly appreciate him so much.

Sometimes I forget that people can lie.....and that I can lie too.

my thought process last round in voting Ali was Ali was NOT someone i couldn't work with in the future but keeping Dan here's a problem too because I wasn't sure how close Dan and Ari are. Tay's immune this round because she has the shotgun so no votes are going to her regardless. When I told Dan that I know about Tay's shotgun he went silent so I just KNOW he's gonna be out for me this round. I really need Emma and Jacob this round to stay here but if Jacob's not around I'm gonna have to talk to Tay but I don't want to. Ari and Tay are not on speaking terms as of now it seems so I don't see Ari, Tay and Dan working together BUT they might vote together this round through Dan which is a PROBLEM. I don't think Ari will vote me so I told them in advance if the vote is leaning towards me to please redirect it to Emma. Wait could that actually work though?

Emma and Jacob vote Dan Me and Ari vote Emma Dan and Tay vote me..

HOW THE HECK WOULD THAT TURN OUT? Dan, me and Emma tie and Ari, Jacob and Dan votes...actually never mind I dont like those odds.

In summary, I DONT FUCKIN KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT. I KNOW I ASKED THE RNGODS TO GIVE TAY THE HIDEEN IMMUNITY IDOL THIS ROUND BUT NOT LIKE THIS

Well last round was a fucking doozy. I literally almost went home because of Taylor.

So I guess Taylor called Ari and told them that she had spoken to Josh and said that Ari was the most concerned about Taylor flipping (aka the exact words Ari had said to me privately on call). So that sparked Ari figuring out something was up and that I was likely going against them.

So I was seemingly dead in the water. Like do not resuscitate. Leave me for dead.

But then I got to thinking. Ari doesn’t necessarily NEED to go at f7. Yes they’re a big threat but let’s not put the cart before the horse. As long as I’m not seated next to Ari at the FTC they can get on out of here after all the idol nonsense is gone. So I went to Ari and told them that they needed to know that Ali and Taylor had launched a full blown attack against them and had filled my mind with negative thoughts bc they were exposing info that Ari hadn’t told me about their game (them having so many alliances, them having idols etc)

And this PISSED Ari off. And prompted the “would you vote Ali” message that changed my whole position in the game. I really put in that work and it paid off. 

So now for THIS round, Ari exposed that Jacob has the whiskey and is playing it on himself so I came up with the plan to tell Emma and josh that the vote was between Jacob and Taylor (who are gonna idol themselves but they don’t have to know that) so me Ari and Jacob can vote out Emma hehe 

Power Rankings ONE - TAYLOR (+1) Threat: 9 (+2) I finally have my game back under control. I’ve completely taken this round into my own hands. Despite Josh and Dan having a tiff last round, I’ve gotten them to mend their difference in order to obtain a common goal of either taking out Ari, or taking out Ari’s right hand man. It would be stupid of any of us to go to f4 with Ari and Jacob and they are a voting block of 2. I would say what im best at is creating logical solution and painting the big picture in people’s minds and I’ve done that successfully this round. I’m back in it, and only one person stands in my way. TWO - JOSH (+1) Threat: 7 (NC) Trust: 7 (NC) Josh is second because he really does hold the power in determining who goes here. He’s been approached with both plans, but I do believe ive convinced him that Jacob going makes the most sense for all of us and I believe that he believes it. I’m starting to look at josh as a jury threat as well, which I believe will be my pitch to dan. He’s got a couple of locked votes id say, Nic, Emma, maybe even Jabari. 3 on a jury of 7 is an insaneeee amount. THREE - DAN (+2) Threat: 6 (+2) Trust: 7 (NC) Dan lands here because he’s the third to make this plan work. Jacob was pitching to josh to vote for dan, so he kind of needed to just have blind faith the josh wouldn’t flip. I see dan as less fo a threat than I do josh because Dan’s game has really been reliant on other people controlling his faith in the game, rather than him having a grasp on it. Aside from the round Nic went, dans been in the back seat just hoping he doesn’t fall out. FOUR - ARI (NC) Threat: 8 (NC) Trust: 1 (NC) Although Ari has immunity this round, they really didn’t do a good job at figuring out where the votes were going. For example, the past two rounds ive had active idols, let the tribe know, and yet hadn’t heard from Ari each round. Missed opportunity of their part, and they’re losing their right hand man this round because of it. FIVE - JACOB (-4) Threat: 4 (-2) Trust: 1 (-1) I think it’s no surprise to anyone that Jacob lands at the bottom of the power rankings. After a terrible round last round, he really didn’t do any damage control on what had happened. He now has dan mad at him, Ari doesn’t have control over dan, josh and I. There’s really not much more to add. If Ari hadn’t of won immunity Jacob would have skated by another round, but fell short because of it.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

[shadovvlink]

angsty trans/gay rant

like a lot of people are saying they wouldnt be cis assigned gender and/or het if they could choose and. i super admire that and im happy that they can be in a place where theyre happy with who they are and not ashamed of themselves but. i would. i really fucking would. like i will stand up for ppls rights to be able to come out in a safe & supportive environment where they dont have to be shamed for being themselves til my dying breath because they deserve those good things.

but that doesnt mean i will do those things for myself. i would still rather be a cishet girl whos uncomfortable with her body rolls and a bit too depressed to do anything about it than. idk a gay trans guy whos so ashamed and disgusted with himself that it took him years to come out. to a family that claims theyre supportive but are now trying to convince him hes either spending too much time online, letting his hyperempathy get the better of him for people who actually live through that, (implying) hes just faking it to make it seem more real to him or just psychotic to the point that he lost his grip on the difference between delusion and reality. just basically trying to tell him hes not clear in the head, and telling him that if there is literally absolutely no other way out, they will let him transition. and having most of his depression stem from his body dysphoria. even though there are clear underlying issues.

ofc i know lgbt is an ok thing to be. i get so happy when ppl refer to me as male even tho i feel so much shame and self hate for making people cater to my needs at the same time. but i would rather be a cishet girl who just used to have a problem with bullying and a few abusive friends than have yet 15 more added on layers that make it so bad that i literally cant think of any other way out than to slowly kill myself either by drinking, cutting, or just end it outright and never let my issues be known to anybody. going back to therapy can only help for so long and i already bring enough shame to them by that as is.

i fucking hate causing my parents and brother this much trouble and forcing them to go through yet more things because of me. i shoud never have come out and instead just stayed in the closet and waited for this to pass. i should never have bought a binder in the first place and instead just quietly waited for this to end. but i literally just couldnt wait anymore when i was pretty much forced to come out bcus i was so upset at this point that i felt i was going to either explode or die if i kept this to myself and my circle of friends. even if i had a panic attack before telling them. and everyone around focuses specifically on the ppl regretting transitioning and are trying to tell me that basically nothing will change. my brother knows someone who went through this first hand and tells me its ok to be a masculine girl even when i told him that it just isnt enough anymore. thats great. its also the last thing i need to hear.

im really happy that i have lgbt friends that can be themselves comfortably and not hate themselves for being lgbt constantly. its so good to see them walk forwards in life with pride even when im right here wishing i wasnt myself and wishing i was literally anything else because its so much easier and i feel so weak because of it i feel like a quitter

on my period and thats probably whats making me so upset abt this but im so angry and tired of constantly being shoved back in the closet under the guise of focusing on my happiness first and people telling me how long it will take to transition and do everything and constantly repeating “but what if halfway through you realize its not The Thing™?” and how much transitioning costs the state. and just constantly trying to make me doubt myself again and again when i just keep realizing after a while that it hurt me more than it did good. and each time it just gets worse. i dont want this either, you know!!!!! id rather not have these issues more than anyone!!!!! id rather fucking die than be like this!!!!!!!! theres nowhere to vent this but here i dont know if i can trust anyone irl anymore because its just false hope on top of false hope getting crushed time and time again but i know i just cant keep clinging to things with online friends. idk i guess im just. so used to keeping things to myself i guess.

idk im just nauseous becuase of my body but i cant drink or cut because i will just get in trouble again and i cant go to any websites because nothing helps.

thinking about my body makes me crazy. trying not to think about my body makes me crazy. trying to keep myself from thinking abt having sex with men (because lets be real thats never going to happen irl) is making me crazy. trying to think about transitioning makes me crazy. talking to my parents about me getting help for this in some kind of way is making me feel like im literally 5 minutes away from being completely delirious because they make me feel like im just hallucinating this entire ordeal and deluding myself into thinking that i must be trans being the solution. i know theyre trying to focus on my happiness. i know theyre trying to make me more levelheaded about this and think rationally about what transitioning will really do to me. idfk im just a textbook crazy at this point. i dont even know anymore.

dont even make me start with being gay haha thats just a whole nother layer of bullshit and shame i dont want my parents to go through because of me.

idk i m nto meant to be crying but ut hurt sso much

#ha. this made such a pity piece. #d.txt #idfk anymore maybe the people areuodn me are right but this has been going on for so long idkf anymore #suicide / maybe #internalized transphobia ig #i feel so bad about posting this while everyone else is still mounring jonghyun but its just so bad #and i wanna go to emergency psych but everyone else is like 'thats not the solution to everything sweetie :)' #self harm / #alcohol abuse / #reply or like if u saw this post so i can at least know u looked at it u dont have to read it because shit gets Bad in the readmore.

[chimericarchitect]

((Terrible and Saness discuss the recent trouble she’s been having with her guardian and possible solutions to those problems. There are a few trigger warnings for this chat, including head stuff, manipulation, mind control, amnesia, suicide (sorta), and death in general.))

flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:23 AM FO: chirp? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:24 AM SP: Sorry, I was distracted by a musical interlude. SP: I was gonna ask "what do you want to know" but you'd probably have a hard time forming specific questions without something to base it on. SP: So, uh, you wanted to know why that strategy was the strategy I've got going. I'm not actually set on it because I don't like it as a plan, but I will probe my options before taking action y'know? Even the ones that suck. SP: Anyway, Anista is a golem or something. SP: And it sucks. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:30 AM FO: totally, checking out your options is the smart thing even if some of the options are horrible bullshit.  you wont know exactly how bad an idea they are if you dont check FO: i usually bring up the worst idea first when im tryin to solve my own problems, just so i can cross it off the list... FO: that does suck.  i could tell there was something going on in her, but ive got no idea whats in there. FO: was she always a golem? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:34 AM SP: I think so. I'm guessing a little bit on that part. Context says probably, because I did a thing and almost got wiped so she got replaced with a Brand New Anista Golem that functioned like she used to, meaning that she's acting like a full person again instead of a zombie. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:53 AM FO: uh, yikes FO: you okay there? FO: and who or what replaced her? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:55 AM SP: I'm... uh, yeah. SP: It's just a thing. SP: As for the who/what in charge of replacing her, I'm not quite sure. They're a lot bigger than me, but I'm not willing to say "horrorterror" without evidence. I'm not experienced enough to tell. So, for now, it remains a mystery. SP: If you meant "what is she now" then the answer is "a seemingly normal troll who is constantly keeping tabs on me and probably ready to dropkick my pan at the slightest provocation." flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:01 PM FO: misc eldritch thing #1 it is FO: yikes, thats p shitty FO: if i ever catch you acting different, do you want to give preemptive permission for me to sneak over and try to return you to this state? FO: or like, to come check and make sure any changes are Legit Things You Wanted And Are Fine With Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:03 PM SP: That would be pretty great, if you don't mind. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:04 PM FO: fuckin anytime, dude, ill set myself a timer to peek at your blog once a week.  make sure to delete the logs of this convo in case she peeks at your computer FO: okay so, something happened, and she wound down enough that she stopped working.  but then something else happened, and now shes back. FO: is she winding down again, or is she going to stay at full capacity? FO: did the thing that put her together like this get distracted and wander off forever, or did it wander off and then come back? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:10 PM SP: There is no evidence suggesting that she is in a state of decline, presently. She was fine and seemingly normal for the entirety of three sweeps before she turned into the zombie fake-o person. My current hypothesis is that she... wears out? Like a timer, or an old battery or something. SP: The thing that did this obviously isn't hanging out 24/7 or I probably wouldn't be me already. I think Anista-Golem is like a watchdog or something for whatever-the-fuck eldritch doodad the first. SP: A lot of that is gonna be speculation; I don't know much about the big guy. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:14 PM FO: yeeahh...(edited) FO: yeah you need out of there dude FO: and you need out of there in a way that they wont notice FO: so i can see why the death thing is a thing FO: i wish id known about this while you were still seery, then i coulda asked some questions an gotten pokey about a lotta fuckin FO: theres a lotta unknowns here and a lotta things that Could branch how this goes If they are true FO: ... shit is p whack, friend.  anythin i can do to help i will Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:18 PM SP: Thanks, Terrible. I really do appreciate it. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:22 PM FO: this one time my life sucked total ass, and someone was nice to me at exactly the right time.  and i decided that maybe being nice to people wasnt stupid, and that it was nice that there were people like that around.  so i decided to be someone like that. FO: this shit is exactly why. Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:23 PM SP: It's a good attitude, in my opinion. I prefer to help people when I can. SP: Before I go on about my plan to get out of here, there's a bit more to this yet, of the things I know. SP: One of the reasons I trust my death-note-suggestion from the future-past is because, like I said, I almost got wiped. SP: If I hadn't been all godly when it happened, it might've worked. Probably would have. SP: Anyway SP: I was getting erased, or blocked, or something (gross and weird) because I was messing with a mind wall (maybe?) and I got caught. SP: So maybe I need to disconnect from whatever I'm tethered to. SP: It's what I'm guessing, anyway. I'd prefer not to do the dying thing, obviously. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:24 PM FO: B( FO: yeah, obvs. FO: im guessin you respawned once, but also dont remember parts of the anon? FO: is there other stuff that feels not solid? FO: the healer chick would need a small piece a you but hair or blood would probably do it, and she could rez you from a distance on command after that.  shed just need to know when Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:41 PM SP: Most of the not-solid is from my memories. I don't remember a lot of stuff, it seems. Other stuff has to do with Anista and the generator. SP: Oh wait. SP: The generator. That's an okay idea. In tandem, not separately. SP: I'd need to put Anista out of commission for a bit though. Hm. SP: Can you tell me a little about the healer lady? I trust you, but I've never spoken to her I don't think. Is she a God Tier as well? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:43 PM FO: yeah.  shes a meenah, Meenah Peixes FO: long story short she lives in sparks's universe, and she's kinda low key and staying out of the spotlight.  does a lotta bakin, some healin for pay. FO: shes kinda mercenary but i think she cares about dudes once they catch her interest, which most dont FO: the universe shes in has legal limes, crimsons, and wings, and no caste system, so theres no problems on the mutant front FO: i could vouch to be there and supervise 100% of the rez process if you trust me enough for that an itd help any Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:00 PM SP: I don't know if that will help any, but I appreciate the offer and I'll keep it in mind. SP: I considered whether or not, as a Prince of Mind, you'd be able to bust shit up so I could skip the not-being-alive part, but that seems less likely to work and more likely to get you smooshed by the eldritch fucko. SP: Besides this stuff, I'm trying to convince a pal of mine to go off-world with me before they fuck up and start a sgrub session. SP: None of my timeframes are defined, so it all feels kinda like it has to be done immediately. Am I gonna get wiped? Is my friend gonna blow up this Alternia? I don't know what's happening first. SP: I think I'm rambling now, sorry. SP: More useful thing, practical type. Do you know the charging rates on resurrection? SP: Which is a funny sentence, by the way. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:04 PM FO: fightin an eldritch fucko would be a heck of a fight, but its one id give a go.  ive done it before, ive pulled that kinda shit outta dudes heads.  theres a big variance on how big an individual eldritch fucko happens to be though, so its a thing to take super fuckin seriously before blunderin straight into FO: if anybody could cut a mind connection, id probably be able to though FO: ramblin makes sense, and bein in a hurry makes sense too.  why is your friend on the verge of startin a sgrub session?  do they like, know not to? -- flippinOptimist began sending file : meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf --  (( a 2-page document, where the first is a classy menu for baked goods with a catering section at the bottom, and the second is a matching menu for healing by injury type with a 'special requests on case by case basis' section at the bottom.  It lists reviving as a special request. )) FO: i think she bases it partly on what a dude can scrape together, but idk FO: theres a chance sparks might be willin to help (or meddle) for free, but hes got an M!A rn thats fuckin up his ability to do things Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:17 PM [ sanessPsuede downloaded meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf ] SP: Oh hey, great, thanks. SP: I don't know how close she is to starting one, because she's not answering any of my messages. SP: I'll probably have to hunt her down in person. I figure she can't start a game if I get her out of the zone for a bit. SP: Maybe delay the inevitable. SP: Fex is a cool dude. You and he have some stuff in common there. SP: I haven't been able to tell my friend not to yet, obviously. I don't think she took it seriously when I told her about it before. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:23 PM FO: good luck delayin it, an talkin your friend outta it FO: sgrub is somethin you can make the best outta, f you get stuck in it, but uh FO: a lot of it sucks real bad Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:27 PM SP: It's probably more efficient SP: to see if dying works SP: rather than engaging in a risky conflict unprepared SP: Side note! SP: Thoughts on how to break a mental connection to a thing that is not a person? SP: Like the Anista puppet or a wall. SP: If there's not a mind, can there even be a link? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:41 PM FO: efficient isnt really a good word when somebodys life is on the line, and id still risk it.  its more about whats most likely to work i think. FO: i think worrying about whether or not something is a person is more of a soul / heart thing FO: if it has a mind, thats close enough FO: theres plenty of bugs that are too simple for me to be able to get a read on FO: and a couple a computer programs that are almost something enough, that i cant quite reach FO: but i peeked at her and saw that she existed and that there was stuff, if i was careful enough i might be able to unplug somethin FO: i think info processing and the ability to choose between outcomes is the big thing.  ideally in some kind of.. complex..ish way, naut just a simple if statement Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:07 PM SP: What about a literal wall? Something completely mindless. Could something eldritch-y make a connection to it? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:11 PM FO: never seen one!  one way to find out though B) Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:22 PM SP: :D SP: Okay, I'm gonna see about getting in touch with Meenah. No point waiting around. SP: It's efficient, and probably more effective. SP: I'm not inclined to gamble with more than my own neck if I can avoid it. SP: Risk to result ratio says dying is the way to live SP: while causing the least amount of harm, probably flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:25 PM FO: if youre sure dude FO: for what its worth, if you go into a death knowin its comin and bein okay w knowin youre (probably) comin out the other side, its naut as aaaaaaaaAAAAa as it is when its a surprise and also a big upsetting disruption FO: its still kinda A Fuckin Thing, but FO: its possible to get over it, more n most ways of death comin by Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:29 PM SP: Okay, I'm not really sure, but the alternative worries me a lot and putting other people at risk jangles my moral compass pretty hard flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:30 PM FO: man, if you ever godtier, you're definitely gonna run into problems w the heroic thing Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:35 PM SP: Just means I'd be a normal dude with super powers. One life, one death. Seems fair. SP: And sucky. SP: No thank you, Sgrub. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:43 PM FO: yeah, p much.

#ooc eyes only #flippinoptimist #plot #//death #//suicide #//mind control #//manipulation #//amnesia #//head stuff #chat log #long post

[actualbird]

Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u

OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 

i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 

(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)

Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]

He begins at it already pried apart

OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.

DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.

World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last.

“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)

catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]

What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?

hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the

Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]

“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.

“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”

Merlin chose to shut up.

all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.

Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]

It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.

I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.

fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]

“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”

Everybody stared at him.

“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.

“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”

ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 

Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]

Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.

(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)

SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 

OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!

#ANG DAMI KONG SINABI HALA #asks #anon #long post #i love fanfiction so much