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tendercoretroglodyke · 3 years

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... I’m interested in legitimately gay Reese (I assume one piece of evidence is “look at what they’re doing and tell me you’re not gay”)

okay this is like 2 days late but this is why reese malcolminthemiddle is legitimately gay:

(side note: did anyone need a queer media thesis paper or something... I am willing to share lmao)

so none of this is like... rock solid evidence or anything but I need to believe at least one main character of a show is gay and/or trans to maintain interest and reese is the most plausible gay character. also it’s early 2000′s so he just gets a lot of vaguely homophobic jokes lmao

first of all, yes, the biggest piece of evidence he’s gay is those lines from that episode I quoted the other day--thinking malcolm is gay, he tries to show his support by giving him a gay porno: “’Naught Pool Boys 3!’ I watched 10 or 12 of these, and this one seems to have the most stuff you guys like.” and when malcolm says he isn’t gay, reese responds “Malcolm. Check out what those guys are doing in that movie, and THEN tell me you’re not gay.”-- so, 1) reese sat down and watched like a dozen gay porn movies to ““find a good one for his gay brother”” and 2) he thinks malcolm would reconsider his heterosexuality if he watched what was in that movie, implying that HE reconsidered his sexuality after watching that movie, or at the very least found it hot

in the same episode, the character tricking malcolm into thinking reese is gay lists the following as evidence: he obsesses over his hair and his looks, loves his gourmet cooking, has a bunch of magazines covered in comically muscular men, and that he’s angry and acts like a jerk because he’s “dealing with something weird and confusing.” now obviously, the obsession with hair/looks can be chalked up to the fact that he’s a teenage boy, and there’s nothing inherently gay about enjoying cooking. the dozen magazines of muscle-bound men could certainly be taken as gay evidence, though, and it IS established in the show that his entire bully persona is his way of masking his inner feelings and insecurities. there’s literally a whole episode where he & malcolm realize they have no friends because they act like little shits to push people away because they’re afraid of rejection and/or abandonment from their peers. they ostracize themselves before they can be ostracized by the other students at school. I could probably write a whole other essay on reese’s psyche tbqh lmao there’s a shocking amount there!!

of the brothers who are actually old enough to be attracted to girls (reese, malcolm, and francis), he shows the least interest. now bear with me here. you might be thinking, “well, yeah, it’s malcolm’s show, we’re not gonna see things from other people’s perspective!” but that is actually surprisingly untrue, the show is very much equally shown from each family members’ perspectives. starting about s2, when malcolm is in early middle school, he starts getting crushes on girls and pursuing them. francis goes after a few women in the first couple seasons and then marries a woman we see a lot throughout the show.

in the roughly... 130?? episodes I have watched so far, nearly all of reese’s “interest” in girls involve either: competition with malcolm, genuinely just liking her as a friend, or some completely ulterior motive. the only exception to this I can think of is in the early seasons where he has a crush on a cheerleader and tries to get on her good side by joining the cheerleading squad, which the writers clearly set up as a way to make gay jokes about reese. let me give you a few examples of his relationships with girls

the first relationship we see him in is with a “stupid girl” that malcolm tried (and failed) to date, and the main reason they get together is that they think on the same wavelength and genuinely seem to enjoy hanging out. they take breaks from their bro chats to make out every once in a while. eventually he gets her to break up with him because he doesn’t want to go to the school dance with her (he doesn’t want to go at all). years later, he’s dating some girl we meet for like 5 minutes, before he goes to confess to her that she’s the first girl he’s ever loved. she then breaks up with him. he’s sad, but taking it fairly well. he’s about to leave when he sees malcolm hiding under the bed, and learns that he stole his girlfriend. he then runs away to join the army. he was clearly MUCH more upset that his brother stole his girlfriend than he was that his girlfriend broke up with him. there are many more instances of him and malcolm competing for a girl’s affections, and he seems mostly motivated by the competition itself.

in addition to “stupid girl,” he also manufactures an “attraction” to his female army buddy in the last season. the premise of this episode is that his old army buddy (a girl he play-wrestles with and insults like he would his own brothers) comes to visit him, and malcolm convinces reese that she’s attracted to him, and that reese’s nervousness at learning that fact is proof he’s in love with her. there’s a misunderstanding where reese asks her if she has certain “feelings” and she says she does, but what she ACTUALLY means is that she has a crush on reese’s MOM. she’s a lesbian. reese later propositions her (saying he’s saved his virginity for this--he’s probably about 18 here), and when she says omg no im gay, he is HUGELY relieved they can go back to being friends. CLASSIC mlm/wlw friendship moment.

there’s an episode where these cute girls pick up reese (& nerds) to kiss in front of their boyfriends to make them jealous. reese is all for it, and when malcolm argues that it’s not worth his dignity and the beating he’ll get from the girl’s boyfriend, reese counters that that’s WHY he wants to do this--he’s completely invisible at school, and thinks getting beaten up for kissing some guy’s girlfriend will at least make him known around school. at no point does he indicate he’s actually attracted to this girl, and when it comes time to kiss her, he finds the weakest excuse to run away at the last minute.

im not gonna list all of these but there’s more lmao

the following is a random assortment of one-off gay jokes and out-of-context lines with gay reese implications, often homophobically bc its early 2000′s writing:

says “I’m gay” to a girl to give malcolm a better shot at her

(again in competition with malcolm) tries to flirt with a girl by spraying milk in her face as the punchline to a joke, which is. well. hm. self-sabotaging, to say the least!!

Reese: “Do you think it’s right to totally change who you are and turn your back on EVERYTHING you believe in, just to impress a hot guy??” [his dad gives a long, blank stare, before asking:] “...Burt Reynolds hot, or Sting hot?”

“YEAH I like clouds! I call them sky kittens :)” (I just think that one’s sweet!)

“Look, Christie, here’s the thing. When I first met you, I was just messing around. But we’ve gotten so close that, now... I really like you! I can’t keep this up anymore. I’m not the person you think I am. I’ve been pretending since the day I met you. It’s so hard having to constantly cover my tracks to keep my story straight... and I don’t WANT to anymore! I’m tired of living this lie! I’m done with it. I’m sorry.”

he catfishes some guy to blackmail him, but is implied to continue the flirtation even after the catfishing/blackmail is revealed

reese is, technically, married to a man. this particular plot point is played as a joke and manages to be both racist and homophobic, so I won’t go into it. but I believe he is still married to that man. technically.

reese takes care of a huge box full of caterpillars until they pupate and become beautiful butterflies. I feel like there’s some kind of gay coming out metaphor here somewhere.

I think there are a couple other times where he comments on a guy’s attractiveness but I couldn’t find specific instances.

In conclusion: Reese is a deeply repressed gay kid who was socialized SO thoroughly as an early 2000′s straight boy that, despite his attraction for men and his obvious compulsory heterosexuality, he still cannot admit to himself that he is gay even as he enters adulthood. Furthermore, his subconscious frustration about this fact is turned outward to form the “schoolyard bully” costume he uses to mask his insecurities and keep others from getting too close to him.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I could be convinced to come back for another talk about how Dewey is trans or about how each and every member of that family is neurodivergent in entirely different ways. Assuming anyone has read this far in the first place!!

#sorry this was so long lmao I legit spent 2 hours on this #I have 2 modes: not doing the thing and overdoing the thing #hey anon if you actually see this I'd appreciate a quick message saying so lmao I'd hate to write all this only for you to miss it #I'll probably rb sometime tomorrow at least #also liz if you're reading this i was GONNA add a bit about francis' gay potential like you mentioned but I ran out of steam so remind me t #i think reese has the most gay potential tho #mitm #malcolm in the middle #anonymous #Anonymous

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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National Enquirer, March 15

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tiger Woods' car crash

Page 2: Bruce Springsteen has beaten the DUI charges leveled against him after federal prosecutors couldn't find a drop of evidence he had been drinking over the legal limit -- with an acceptable blood alcohol level of 0.02 well below the 0.08 threshold at the time of his arrest in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, prosecutors backed off two of their charges for drunken and reckless driving -- the rocker did plead guilty to a third charge, admitting he had two small shots of tequila on federal parkland and for that, he was fines $500 plus $40 in court costs

Page 3: Patrick Dempsey's dreamy return to Grey's Anatomy was a big hit with fans but his well-received cameo left series star Ellen Pompeo seething with jealousy -- Ellen may have permitted Patrick to revisit his old stomping grounds in Meredith Grey's fever dreams in season 17 but she doesn't want him coming back permanently and swiping her hard-earned glory and she considers herself the anchor of the show and thought she was rid of this guy after making the show her own, but now fans are begging for him to be brought back and Ellen is furious -- it's no secret Ellen hated the first 10 years of the show when Patrick was the star and she feels the series got better after he left and she became a big-shot producer, something she'd been demanding for years -- she likes being in control and calling the shots and clearly thinks she got this deal on her merit alone but it's also because she's the star who's lasted the longest; most of the original cast had already left and bosses had to cave in to keep her -- unfortunately being in charge hasn't amounted to better ratings and show has been slipping consistently in recent years and the main reason they brought Patrick back on was to spike the ratings, which it did and now producers are considering offering Patrick a full-time gig but Ellen will do everything in her power to prevent Patrick from stealing her thunder again

Page 4: Home reno gurus Chip and Joanna Gaines are clashing over his wild spending, and she's desperate to rein him in before they land in the poorhouse -- Chip and Jo are rich on paper and worth $20 million in property and assets but they were hit hard by the pandemic like everyone else and recovery has been sluggish to say the least -- they're just getting back on their feet and under a ton of pressure to get their Magnolia network off to a running start but Chip, as usual, is casual when it comes to money and it frustrates Jo to see him buying things they don't need, like new tools and equipment when the old ones work just fine and overpaying on lumber and masonry -- Chip is always shopping and not always for the house; he's got a boot fetish and has dozens of pairs, plus he treats the crew to free cappuccino and treats from their coffeehouse several time a day and Chip wants the best of everything for himself and everyone else

* Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are ready to welcome baby number four through adoption -- the couple who are parents of daughters James and Inez and Betty hope to find their next child in South America and they've invested time and money sponsoring immigrant children and they're warming up to the idea of providing an orphaned baby or toddler with a forever home -- a 16-year-old girl they sponsored through the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights was deported back to Honduras and they were heartbroken, and Blake and Ryan are now determined to provide a child with a happy home and opportunities he or she wouldn't have in their native country

Page 5: Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Dan Hayhurst are itching to start a family and are already trying for a baby of their own -- 53-year-old Pam tied the knot with the 40-year-old handyman on Christmas Eve at her Vancouver Island home and she's been telling pals they hope to have happy news soon -- Pam wants to build a whole new clan with Dan and he's on board even though they each have kids with their exes and Dan's two kids from a previous relationship are living with the couple at Pam's pad -- the couple love the idea of adopting or going the surrogate route and it's not something they want to waste any time over

Page 6: Weary Kelly Clarkson is juggling her skyrocketing career and brutal divorce battle with estranged husband Brandon Blackstock on less than six hours sleep a night and Kelly has also been pushing to sell her homes in Nashville and Encino, while running her L.A.-based talk show and recording new music -- she's been running herself ragged for months and she's feeling the burn in a big way but despite her exhaustion, she can't sleep and nothing she tries works and the most shut-eye she catches is two, three hours at a time; she lays awake in bed at night worrying and crying

* Suddenly remorseful Kanye West has spiraled into depression and despair since soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian filed for divorce -- for all their problems, Kanye realizes she was the one person who was there for him whenever he went off the deep end and now he knows he's alone and seriously doubts he can hold his life together -- without Kim and her family to keep his wild impulses in check, he may succumb to the poor judgment and wild mood swings that have marked his chronic bipolar disorder as they were the ones who reminded him to take his meds and steer clear of recreational drugs and now all he has is a circle of yes-men he doesn't listen to anyway -- since the split, Kanye has shuttled between his ranch in Cody, Wyoming and a hotel in L.A. near the sprawling mansion he once shared with Kim and he's been blowing up her phone to beg forgiveness, but she won't take his calls and it's driving him off the deep end again

Page 7: Kourtney Kardashian is fed up with Shanna Moakler's online barbs and is plotting her revenge against the ex-wife of her new squeeze -- since Kourtney and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker went public with their romance last month, former pageant queen Shanna has been throwing social media shade and Kourtney's tired of taking Shanna's crap and she's going to fire back soon and Kourtney's using her wide network of contacts in Hollywood to bad-mouth Shanna and she's placing calls to casting directors and perspective suitors to put as many potholes in her love rival's path as possible and she plans to make Shanna regret messing with her

Page 8: Nearly two years after Johnny Depp was forced to exit Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise following ex-wife Amber Heard's allegations of abuse, the company has kicked him while he's down by considering her for a plum part -- Johnny is fuming over news that Amber is reportedly in contention to play fairy-tale heroine Rapunzel in the studio's upcoming live-action remake of Tangled -- for Amber to be in the running for a Disney pic is the ultimate insult to him especially because he believes the company made millions of dollars off his name

Page 9: Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle had a whopping $500 million motive to betray Queen Elizabeth -- outraged at being cut loose by the British royals, the couple retaliated by secretly negotiating backroom Hollywood megadeals and going public on TV -- Harry and Meghan see themselves as victims of an out-of-touch monarchy and want revenge and selling out Harry's family is the way to get it and cash in big-time; Meghan's convinced they'll have deals totaling $500 million by the end of the year but they better act fast because Hollywood is a fickle town where even royalty can be chewed up and spat out

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Amelia Hamlin stuck to the shore while pink-haired beau Scott Disick made waves in Miami, Steve Martin nibbled on a pretzel while filming Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Floyd Mayweather turned 44 and celebrated with a birthday bash in Miami, Bachelorette reject Tyler Cameron showed off his toned tummy in Florida

Page 11: Drew Barrymore feels deeply for dad-controlled Britney Spears because she's been there: she said her mom locked her away in a loony bin for over a year when she was just 13 -- Drew said it's hard to grow up in front of people and she empathizes with Britney and Paris Hilton and any star who can't escape the glare of celebrity -- Drew's mom put her in a place that was a full psychiatric ward and says she used to laugh at those Malibu 30-day places because she was in a place for a year and a half called Van Nuys Psychiatric and you couldn't mess around there and if you did, you would either get thrown in the padded room or put in stretcher restraints and tied up

* Eddie Murphy famously bragged he has never changed a diaper in his life despite having so many kids and now he's set on having another baby with fiancee Paige Butcher and this will make baby No. 11 for Eddie -- he says his genes are incredible as ever, so why stop; he's super fit and Paige is in amazing shape at age 41 and wants at least one more baby so they're going to go for it and are already trying

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- CNN could blitz news veteran Wolf Blitzer as the network revamps its lineup and TV is a young person's game and no one knows that better than Wolf and after 31 years at CNN, he sees new faces getting promoted and knows his days are numbered and Jim Acosta and Poppy Harlow are the future of CNN, not Wolf -- although Wolf's airtime has been cut as Jake Tapper's role expands, he isn't bitter or angry but instead he's grateful for an amazing run

* Love It or List It star Hilary Farr is moving on to her own show and leaving partner David Visentin in the dust -- Hilary's new show is basically the same one she and David have been doing for years, with him edited out and David was blindsided by the news and he knows HGTV has sent out a casting notice for the new show and he's hurt and angry especially because Love It or List It hasn't been renewed yet

* Sacked Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron has reached out to Chris Harrison after he stepped away from The Bachelor amid a racist scandal -- Tom wasn't fired over a scandal, but he knows exactly what Chris is going through because both of them thought they had a job for life, but nothing lasts forever -- Tom is a good guy and wants Chris to know he's around if Chris needs anything

* Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spruced up for the camera (picture)

Page 13: Brooke Shields isn't letting a busted leg keep her down but she's taking her recovery one step at a time -- she shared an Instagram video showing her cautiously hobbling on crutches and explained she broker her femur and she was beginning to mend -- she didn't reveal what caused the unlucky break

* Outspoken actress Rose McGowan is living a charmed life in Mexico and the Harvey Weinstein accuser has headed south of the border and vows never to return to the United States -- she got her permanent residency card from Mexico and is grateful to have it and says it's a really healing land and it is truly magical -- she moved at the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic because she knew it was going to get really bad in America and she had a moment to figure out where she wanted to be

* Picky perfectionist Blake Shelton listens to around 300 songs to choose what to record for each of his albums, according to his longtime producer -- music pro Scott Hendricks said he wades through nearly 3000 tracks by professional songwriters to select tunes for Blake to consider and then Blake methodically whittles down the nominees until he's certain which songs he wants to record but Scott admitted that process is more difficult for him culling the 300 from the 3000 -- Scott, who has worked with Blake for most of his career, said of their close professional relationship that the chemistry works and they have recorded several hundred or more songs together and they are getting ready to go do some more

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Killer kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman's busted beauty queen bride will be marked for death behind bars -- if Emma Coronel Aispuro snitches to the feds about the bloodthirsty Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel long run by her caged husband, she'll put a big fat bulls-eye on her back -- according to a federal complaint, Coronel was intimately involved in her husband's multibillion-dollar drug-running racket and acted as his criminal agent while he was on the lam and the mother of El Chapo's two young daughters helped mastermind her spouse's daring 2015 tunnel escape from a Mexican prison and also paid him $100,000 for another failed bust-out a year later -- they are going to put the heat on her to spill more details on other top operatives in the cartel and take them down, too, but if she spills, it will be open season on her on the inside

Page 16: Dr. Dre appears to rap about estranged wife Nicole Young in a song filled with angry, explicit lyrics calling someone in his life a greedy bitch -- DJ Silk previewed part of a new track from Dre full of digs presumably at Nicole, with whom he has been locked in a nasty divorce -- his lyrics include: Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury/ I see you trying to f--k me while I'm in surgery / In ICU death bed on some money s--t / Greedy bitch take a pic / Girl you know how money get

* Hollywood Hookups -- Lorenzo Lamas is set to wed for the sixth time to model Kenna Scott, Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause are officially divorced, Adam Rippon is engaged to Jussi-Pekka Kajaala

Page 17: Former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan has pleaded guilty to two felony counts of domestic violence -- Zachery, now 39, has been sentenced to three years of probation and will also have to take part in a batterer intervention program

* John Mayer has dated a succession of famous singers including Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Halsey and he hopes they write chart-topping songs about him and admitted he'd be jazzed if his exes enshrined him in song, saying sometimes a song is so good he hopes it's about him and he even scours their lyrics for clues -- Taylor already has several tracks that have been linked to John including Dear John

* Ruthless chef Gordon Ramsay said he's cooked up his own plan to keep his kids humble -- he has five kids with wife Tana: Megan, twins Holly and Jack, Tilly and Oscar but said he plans to leave most of his reported $200 million fortune to charity -- Gordon explained his kids must tidy up after dinners, can only fly coach and are expected to learn how to cook for themselves and he's forbidden them from taking costly taxis and the foulmouthed foodie insisted they don't swear

Page 18: American Life

Page 19: Roseanne Barr was blindsided by a humiliating new scandal after risque photos from the early '90s recently emerged which appear to show her teenage daughters licking her boobs -- Roseanne posed for the shots with her two youngest girls at a Glamour Shots studio in Iowa more than 25 years ago and the photographer who claimed he snapped the fake lesbian lovefest but did not want to be named dished Roseanne and daughters Jessica and Jennifer who are now in their mid-40s happily hammed it up for the camera but decades later Roseanne and her daughters are all mortified and embarrassed by these pics; they were horsing around years ago and never thought they'd see the light of day

Page 20: Cover Story -- Still recovering from agonizing back surgery, Tiger Woods was pushing himself to the limit when he flew off a California cliff into a career-crushing car accident -- lawmen said the golf legend was lucky to be alive after the horrific wreck that shattered his right leg -- the accident only added to Tiger's physical problems; his movement has been restricted since a fifth back operation in December and he was unable to play golf despite an appearance at a local tournament the weekend before the bloody wreck -- at a press conference days before cheating death, Tiger admitted he was worried about his physical condition and his ability to play again, saying a lot of it is based on his surgeons and doctors and therapist and making sure he does it correctly and he doesn't have a lot of wiggle room left -- Tiger could barely move, and it seemed to get him down and his back rehab has been brutal and he was hobbling around and distraught but he refused to give into his condition and his tough-as-nails mindset could have contributed to the crash: when a person is overwhelmed by physical pain, that dominates everything they do and if you're behind the wheel of a car and in physical pain, it can distract you and likely lead to this kind of disaster -- Tiger was eager to get to a TV taping on the morning disaster struck and he seemed impatient when he left the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, an L.A. suburb, just after 7 a.m. and although traffic cameras show he was driving within the speed limit, his Genesis GV80 SUV crossed the center median onto the opposite side of the road and flipped -- authorities said Tiger appeared lucid to first responders and there were no signs the recovering addict was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and they did not request a blood test when Tiger was rushed to the hospital from the crash site and the incident was an accident -- Tiger was taken to nearby Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where doctors said his broken bones protruded through his right leg and they put a rod in his leg and used screws and pins to stabilize the break and his ankle -- it will take three to four months to heal and then eight months of physical therapy and it is unlikely he will ever run again and he may have a limp and in terms of golf, just walking for extended periods of time will be a big deal and recovery will be agonizing; it's a very real possibility that Tiger's taken his final swing

Page 21: Addiction experts warned Tiger Woods' recovery will test his sobriety after his stint in rehab for prescription painkiller use and it is very, very common for a patient in recovery to relapse after a trauma like the one suffered by Tiger and exposure to painkillers administered directly or prescribed after a physical trauma is highly likely to trigger a relapse -- Tiger will probably need painkillers to get through this, but he'll also need to be connected with like-minded people to keep him away from his old thinking that pills are the solution to his problems

Page 22: Desperate Ghislaine Maxwell has offered to renounce her British and French citizenships in a new bid to get out of jail -- the disgraced socialite's last two stabs at freedom including one package offering $22.5 million as bond money were rejected by a judge who deemed her a flight risk -- now according to her lawyers, Ghislaine will formally commence the procedure to renounce her foreign citizenship to satisfy any concerns the court may have that she may try to seek a safe haven in France or the U.K. -- Justice Department officials were concerned Ghislaine would flee to France, where she was born, since the country has no extradition treaty with the U.S.

* Woody Allen claimed his own words are being used to attack him in the bombshell Allen v. Farrow documentary -- Woody has repeatedly denied adopted daughter Dylan Farrow's claims he sexually abused her when she was seven at her mom Mia Farrow's home -- Woody blasted the documentary which rehashes the claims as a shoddy hit piece and a hatched job riddled with falsehoods adding the filmmakers stole from his autobiography

Page 26: Twice-divorced Ricki Lake's engagement to California attorney Ross Burningham has insiders fearing she may suffer yet another heartbreak -- she announced her happy news on Instagram but Ricki has seen far more than her share of bad luck in the romance department and everyone is praying this final shot at love doesn't end in despair and it's never Ricki's fault, but she's never found a man who could keep her happy

Page 28: A lurid landscape of drug-fueled orgies, suicidal thoughts and fake sexual enthusiasm will play out in a new television series based on model and reality star Holly Madison's X-rated confessions from her shocking 2015 biography Down the Bunny Hole -- Madison first exposed the sleazy details of how she and other young women were plied with drugs and coerced to participate in sex parties with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in exchange for acting as his girlfriends and getting to live inside the iconic L.A. mansion along with a weekly $1000 stipend -- the limited series will star actress Samara Weaving as Holly, who was a member of Hef's harem between 2001 and 2008 -- Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt became the notorious stars of the reality show The Girls Next Door which debuted in 2005 and focused on their seemingly glamorous life with Hef but glossed over the dark secrets behind the scenes -- in her bombshell confessions, Holly revealed the 22-bedroom manor was actually a foul pigsty filled with stained mattresses where Hef's live-in ladies were forced to perform weird bedroom rituals and look excited by it

Page 29: Jack Osbourne has listed his sprawling California home for rent at $16,500 a month -- the 35-year-old son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne is offering the five-bedroom, 5600-square-foot home in Studio City unfurnished -- Sharon was recently seen outside the home with moving vans helping Jack prep the property -- Jack, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, bought the home in 2014 when he was married to Lisa Stelly; the couple divorced in 2018 and share three children: Andy, Pearl and Minnie

* Heidi Klum has snipped all threads tying her to dad Gunther Klum after the cosmetics and modeling honcho skipped her wedding -- Heidi dumped her manager dad after he snubbed her August 2019 ceremony in Capri with guitarist Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokio Hotel and she has also ended her German enterprise Heidi Klum GmbH, originally overseen by Gunther -- Heidi and her dad had a falling out over Tom and Gunther never really approved of him and was dead set against the marriage and it drove a wedge in their relationship

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- an African Gray Parrot with a feather-picking problem

Page 34: Barack Obama broke a buddy's nose over a racist remark -- he revealed the two classmates were playing basketball when his friend hurled a racial slur and he popped him in the face and broke his nose, Obama told Bruce Springsteen on their podcast Renegades: Born in the USA -- Obama said he doesn't think his pal even knew what the word meant, just that it was meant to be hurtful

* Country singer Keith Urban has shrunk to 140 pounds as the former addict is hooked on a bizarre diet of nuts and berries and even worse, the five-foot-ten crooner appears to be growing thinner and friends are worried the stress of his demanding career and his desperate desire to be a good husband to Nicole Kidman may push him over the edge -- no one sees him eating much more than handfuls of raw almonds or sunflower seeds and berries washed down with gallons of water -- though he's been sober since 2006, pals fear the struggle to avoid giving in to temptation as well as hearing Nicole purportedly mended fences with ex-hubby Tom Cruise may be weighing on the star -- despite his bony appearance, Keith thinks he looks great

Page 40: Evil ISIS terrorists are using the COVID-19 pandemic as cover while they rebuild their network and mastermind new attacks and both Iraq and the U.S. are in their crosshairs -- because the West has been focused on dealing with the pandemic, ISIS and new groups sprung from their shattered forces have been reloading and plotting revenge, according to Ryan Mauro of the terrorist-monitoring Clarion Intelligence Network -- the pandemic has brought decreased confidence in Western governments, which has emboldened the terrorists to launch sleeper cell attacks on foreign soil

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Anya Taylor-Joy

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iwach4n · 4 years

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this is basically an AU me and @snazzieyama have been talking about where haikyuu characters are the actors in Hamilton, and i haven’t been able to get it out of my mind so have an obnoxiously long set of headcanons about it

(i wrote this listening to the soundtrack, proper jamming i tell you)

CAST LIST (hear me out on some of these)

alexander hamilton - hinata shoyo

aaron burr - akaashi keiji

eliza schuyler - kageyama tobio

angelica schuyler - atsumu miya

peggy schuyler - yachi hitoka

john laurens / phillip hamilton - nishinoya yuu

marquis de laffayette - bokuto koutarou

hercules mulligan - tanaka ryuunosuke

george washington - sawamura daichi

thomas jefferson - tsukishima kei

james madison - yamaguchi tadashi

king george III - oikawa tooru

maria reynolds - kozume kenma

james reynolds / the doctor - kuroo tetsurou

samuel seabury - sugawara koushi

charles lee - lev haiba

george eacker - yaku morisuke

the bullet - shimizu kiyoko

HEADCANONS

hinata auditioned for hamilton despite having literally no theatre experience besides like school musicals and like one community theatre show. he was cast in ensemble at first but worked his way up to hamilton’s understudy and then the official hamilton

tsukishima auditioned for burr. he was salty that he was cast as someone else (his dynamic with yamaguchi was too good to pass up and akaashi had a better voice for Wait For It) at first but then he immediately clashed with hinata and took great pleasure with being able to roast him every night

in Alexander Hamilton, the laffayette/jefferson and mulligan/madison parts switch actors every show so bokuto, tsukishima, tanaka and yamaguchi all get to do it. sometimes they switch it at the last minute because “please dude my grandma’s come to watch i need to be on stage as much as possible”

tanaka has the Best fun on stage. he never fails to get the crowd pumped, he is jumping around and bringing so much energy, especially in his part in yorktown. it makes you mad that its a musical and you can’t start jumping up and singing along

suga was cast as seabury because he was perfectly good at the role and they preferred kageyama as eliza, which he auditioned for originally. he’s really good at it but it took way too long for Farmer Refuted to come together because him and hinata kept bursting out laughing. they both consider each other, like, the least threatening people ever, and they couldn’t take it seriously whenever hinata would have to get in suga’s face

SOMETIMES IT STILL HAPPENS!! if you watch carefully, you might see one of their lips twitch while they try to keep a straight face. the minute suga gets off stage, someone always has some cushion or piece of clothing he can laugh into because once he started laughing while his mic was still on

THE BIGGEST CAST JOKE IS ABOUT THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAMILTON AND ELIZA!! kageyama looks so much taller than hinata (coz he is but its so noticeable when they’re alone on stage) and they torment hinata with pictures where it just looks ridiculous

oikawa always absolutely steals the show. he’s so dramatic, but he’s also one of the most simped-for cast members and sometimes he’ll throw a wink into the audience in the middle of You’ll Be Back to make things more interesting.

also the bits in act 2 where he just comes in to watch and laugh at everything that’s happening? he’s so fun! just because he’s not the main focus of the scene doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna make the most hilarious facial expressions. half the audience ends up focusing on him instead.

daichi is the most commanding washington literally ever. he just comes on and he immediately takes over the stage. he barely has to try to give the character the air of authority. literally the perfect actor for the role

he’s also been in the show the longest. was cast as washington right off the bat and has been doing the role for multiple years. it makes him the unofficial dad of the cast and the go-to for advice since he’s seen a bunch of people do every other role

the “CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME” line was another one that took too long for them to do without laughing. daichi has been doing this for ages but when he practices with hinata, he can’t help but laugh because this is the kid who he witnessed choke on hello kitty gummies with five minutes until the show began (back when hinata was in ensemble). hinata does the line too well and its hard to take it seriously at first

akaashi singing Wait For It is the literal most beautiful part of the show. he’s an amazing actor and his voice is incredible and it’s the sort of thing you could rewatch on loop for an entire week non-stop without getting bored

bokuto got akaashi the audition for burr, and even though their characters don’t interact too much their chemistry is really good. The “everyone give it up for everyone’s favourite fighting frenchman!” line is so genuine they just really admire each other as actors

lev auditioned for lee for the sole purpose of getting the line “i’m a general, WHEEEE”. he got the role mostly because he was just,,, really good at that line

atsumu refused to interact with anyone outside of rehearsals and performances for a solid month. the instagram of the cast had loads of photos on the story that were just mugshots of him saying “day 24, atsumu still won’t talk to us :(” whenever any of the cast take over it for a day

akaashi is the second most simped-for actor in the cast (after oikawa). you can literally feel people in the audience swooning in Dear Theodosia because he’s just so sweet

when yachi found out she was the only girl in the main cast she was literally terrified. she latched onto kiyoko really quickly and there’s a ridiculous amount of pictures that every fan has seen of those two together

kiyoko is really mesmerising as the bullet!! when she’s lifted her form is just stunning she just looks really nice okay-

every wondered whether kageyama would be like,,, actually good because he just seems kind of awkward off stage, but the minute he’s on stage and following a script, he’s like the perfect eliza

nishinoya has the perfect range for both laurens and phillip. fun and friendly yet still principled and serious rebel? check. small sweet nine year old? check. charismatic flirt? check. heartbreakingly dying from a gunshot wound? check.

tsukishima is a really unique jefferson. he’s not as flamboyant as the role usually is, but he’s super sassy to make up for it. it’s really refreshing and SO fun to watch. “uh,,, france?” becomes “france.” with a ‘are you stupid’ expression

yamaguchi wasn’t expecting to get anything past ensemble but he came in to audition with tsukishima and he is so good at what few lines he has. “which I wrote!” is said with such a scandalised tone, it gets a laugh every time

everyone who knew kenma before thought he’d be too awkward to do maria but he is actually really good once he gets past the initial awkwardness, he manages to portray her like a victim really well

i’ve already done like two of these so here’s some more scenes that took too long before they didn’t burst out laughing: eliza teaching phillip to play piano in Take A Break (just imagine nishinoya and kageyama doing it i can’t-), the duel in Ten Duel Commandments (the height difference between nishinoya and lev made them laugh every time they turned around), 90% of Say No To This but especially the kiss (kenma would just stop and get off like ‘no, i can’t, i can’t do this’ every time it was about to happen while hinata just started cackling)

part of the reason noya got cast as phillip as well as laurens was because he’s one of the only people who auditioned who was shorter than hinata

in rehearsals, akaashi has fallen off the table from The Room Where It Happens because they couldn’t time him jumping while the tablecloth was pulled off. there’s a compilation of the falls on youtube, no one knows who recorded them, let alone who posted it (it was kuroo)

speaking of kuroo, he takes his like five lines and he runs with them. he’s awesome as james reynolds but he’s also the fandoms favourite instagram of the cast because he just posts all the backstage shenanigans. he’s somehow always recording whenever something is going wrong.

he also teases kenma relentlessly about how their characters are married, but kenma is having none of it. it always goes like “awe we’re married” “,,, you’re literally abusive” or “come on, do it for your husband” “i’m cheating on you”

(i stopped here to jam to That Part of Hurrican. i wrote my way out hell i wrote my way to revolution i was louder than the crack in the bell i wrote eliza love letters until she fell-)

bokuto managed to rap Guns And Ships first try. he listened to it like twice, read the lyrics, and he could immediately do it. he took ages to do a convincing french accent though, and it pained everyone

TSUKISHIMA COULDN’T DO THE FAST PART OF WASHINGTON ON YOUR SIDE AND HAD TO ASK BOKUTO FOR HELP

bokuto is just,,, such a good laffayette. he’s jumping all over the place, flexing his muscles while he does the fast raps without looking out of breath at all. it seems almost impossible

also!!!! kuroo has a ridiculous amount of videos of bokuto backstage fortnite dancing to serious songs like Burn or Its Quiet Uptown

kageyama in Burn!!! heartbreaking and beautiful but he burns his hand on the letter too often. he’s gotten used to it at this point so he only slightly flinches when the flames touch his hand. its worrying

congratulations was almost brought back because atsumu really likes it and he absolutely kills it. they recorded him singing it in like a studio and everything because its just that good

when noya found out yaku was playing eacker he was so happy because they’re both short and he already looks ridiculous and tiny enough in the first duel

tsukishima will never admit how much fun he has with “southern motherfucking democratic republicans!!!” but its so clear his eyes literally shine (he kind of carries that line coz yamaguchi and akaashi are a lot more mellow)

oikawa once got dared to fortnite dance in reynolds pamphlet when he’s throwing the one singular sheet of paper. he was going to do it but the directors found out about it and literally threatened to fire him if he did it (they did it in a rehearsal to make up for it)

you know that bit in Your Obedient Servant where its like “careful how you proceed good man, intemperate indeed good man, answer for the accusations i lay at your feet or prepare to bleed good man”? literal chills from the look on akaashi’s face when he does it

whenever other cast members get food gifts from fans and they leave them unattended atsumu will always steal them. only daichi has figured out its him and he has kept quiet on two conditions - he leaves his alone, and he gets half of all the cakes

sometimes yachi just likes to lie down in the middle of the spinny floor and spin to destress. yamaguchi joins her sometimes.

there’s always a ton of people waiting at stage door, and kuroo has made it his mission to come out first and announce everyone as they leave. people play along with it and cheer for every person. some of the cast (mainly oikawa and bokuto) make it super dramatic and do massive bows as they walk out. kageyama never fails to look bewildered despite it happening every day

oikawa chills in full king gear backstage way before and way after he needs to. like half of his instagram is selfies is him in it doing dramatic poses. he’s broken the crown too many times because it fell off his head

hinata sometimes subconsciously does the My Shot dance while he’s going about his life. he can’t escape

they can be sorted into three groups: is the literal sweetest baby to their fans and is kind of shocked they even exist, adores having fans and fully expects them to exist, and the ‘i appreciate the support but pls leave me alone i want to go home’

i don’t know how to round this off but this is getting too long and its gonna keep on going because i’m listening to the soundtrack as i write. maybe there will be a part 2 one day.

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naturepointstheway · 4 years

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Blue Skies of Freedom (LIS2, Parting Ways ending)

Sean doesn’t know if Daniel has survived the pandemic, and perhaps he never will, and perhaps this is why he still sends letters, still sends photos, because he doesn’t ever want to face the possibility that he hadn't. He hangs on to hope that Daniel lives, happy and healthy at the Reynolds’, best friends with Chris, in the USA. He hopes Daniel is safe from the horrors of a land festering with evil malice, a dark continent that had threatened to take his life and his brother.

People tell him Daniel’s probably dead anyway—it’s the USA, what should he expect? They insist Sean’s in denial, because in what world is Daniel safe in the fucking United States? They insist he’s living in an illusion of his own making. He should wake up to reality. To a world that will be no less hateful toward Daniel than it is to Sean.

Sean doesn’t give a fuck. If choosing to hope he lives in a world where Daniel is still alive and safe with the Reynolds makes him foolish, then so be it. Let him have this, let him think he hasn’t lost his younger brother like he had his father—doesn’t he deserve at least this drop of hope? If having faith Daniel is okay makes him deluded, at least he has that one hope to go on living day by day.

It’s not like he can go back to the USA anyway.

It’s not like he wants to, ever, even if it means forsaking his family and friends.

And, at least, staying in Mexico, he can convince himself that everyone he had ever loved had made it to the other side of the pandemic—at least he knows Finn and Cassidy and Hannah made it, but it fucking hurts knowing he’ll never know if Lyla made it either. He doesn’t even know if the Reynolds made it, nor Chris, nor Jake and his sister Sarah-Lee, nor Karen, nor anyone at Away.

Does he even want to know?

Maybe this is why he never goes back, he stays beyond the border, his feet in the warm sand, drinking cocktails, and enjoying a stunning beach view. Just as Finn had always wanted. In the bright sunshine, cloaked in eternally blue skies that never fade in their beauty. Azul cielo. It is the colour of freedom in a world where he doesn’t have to run from bloodthirsty hunters. It is the colour of Finn’s shining eyes when he had made it to Mexico, staying for a good time with Sean. It is the colour of warm water wrapping around his body when he skinny dips in the ocean at the height of day when the heat is at its fiercest.

In Sean’s Matrix, he chooses to swallow the blue pill. Azul. The colour of blissful, perhaps-foolish hope, of choosing to dream that somehow, somewhere, Daniel is okay and Lyla is alive, still kicking injustice in the face, making American society face its bloodied history of white supremacy. He saw her briefly on the news back in 2020, raw rage and fury, one of the many faces in the numerous Black Lives Matter marches around the USA. She is going to change the world. He has to believe in that too.

Is he selfish if he wants to stay here, in the land of freedom he had yearned for, his own promised land, having crossed the metaphorical Red Sea from a land of cruelty into a safer country where he could be free? If it makes him selfish, so be it. Then again…

Wasn’t it selfish of Daniel too, to suddenly change his mind, want to turn back, want to stay in the USA? If staying in the USA made Daniel selfish, then staying in Mexico meant that, perhaps, deep down, Sean was a selfish man too.

And if he were honest with himself, deep down, he was okay with that. At least he wasn’t running, wasn’t sleeping under bridges, wasn’t shivering in a rundown cabin in the middle of nowhere in winter, wasn’t always looking over his shoulder, and wasn’t always suspicious of every face he met. Here, he trusted people who looked like him, who spoke like him, who had a culture familiar to him from his father’s stories. Here, he didn’t have to worry about shelter, didn’t have to worry about shivering in the snow, didn’t have to worry about police being on his ass. He spoke virtually no English these days, except in the occasional letter to Daniel at the Reynolds’—if they were even alive, if they were even still in Beaver Creek.

How could this ever be a bad ending for him? Bittersweet, certainly, knowing he’ll never know if his photos and letters are being sent to a deceased brother, to deceased grandparents, but bad? Bad would be if he was fatally shot, choking on his own blood right as he crossed the border. Or, worse, it would be if Daniel had been shot—again—dying in the car seat next to him, through his own selfish actions.

Not that his actions were selfish—he’d had enough of all the fucking shit he’d suffered through in the USA; he hadn’t made it all the way to the border just to give up. Just to let himself fall into the hands of monsters as cruel—or crueler—than any king in history. Just to let Daniel fall into the hands of police—he’d wanted a better life for both of them.

But Daniel had made his choice.

He had chosen to stay in the USA, chosen to stay in that terrible land of cruelties.

And Sean had been helpless to do anything to stop him.

He had never felt so helpless in his life that day, knowing from then on, he would be alone except for the friends he’d make in Mexico, or for Cassidy and Finn passing through on their individual journeys. But then again, as Brody had once told him, “there’s a difference between alone and lonely…”, and now Sean really understood what he had meant. He was alone without his American family and friends, but he wasn’t lonely. Sure, at first he had felt lonely, but it hadn’t lasted long once he had started making friends who would keep him company through thick and thin. Friends who would stay strong by his side, who would rib his terrible karaoke singing, who would pile together in his car to go on random road trips around the country and beyond to the brim of South America itself, from Argentina to Chile.

Sean wouldn’t have it any other way.

Except once a year, every 11th April: Daniel’s birthday.

The last time he’d ever been there for Daniel’s birthday, the latter had been turning nine. Their father had been still alive. Everything had still been more than okay. Life had still been…normal. When normal used to be getting jitters over his crush for a girl at a party, skating with Lyla and the crew, fighting with his little brother on a daily basis, enduring his father’s dad jokes, and…

This was his new normal now. A new normal where Daniel chose—that was what he did, he had chosen—to stay in the USA. A new normal where Sean could never go back to the USA, could not know—if ever—if Daniel had survived the pandemic of 2020, where he had friends to hit the road whenever the desire hit them, where he was a free man. At least everywhere else on the planet but in the USA.

A new normal where he would never be there on Daniel’s birthday for a long time, if ever again.

Where he could never wish him happy birthday in person except in his sketches, in his head, in his heart.

Where he could never watch him grow up, experience the ups and downs of teenhood, of finding a new girlfriend (or boyfriend), of dating for the first time, of experiencing his first kiss, of graduating from high-school, of seeing him go to college for the first time.

Where Daniel could never assure Sean he was okay, he was alive, he was thriving, he was still best friends with Chris Eriksen.

Where Daniel could never prank Sean with his powers, just to tick him off.

Where Daniel could never come to him after a nightmare about Lisbeth.

Where Daniel could never come to him for comfort or just a chat, like he had so often done after Havenpoint.

Where Daniel knew Sean was alive…but Sean could never know if Daniel was too.

Did he know Sean didn’t know whether he was alive or dead?

Did he know?

Did he?

Did he ever lay awake at night, trying not to think how Sean would never really know he was still alive?

Did he ever jolt awake with the realisation Sean couldn’t tell him where he was now, except as hints through photos? Look, it’s the edge of the Amazon Rainforest! Look, it’s the mountains of Argentina! Look how blue the sky is! Look how beautiful the world is, where he is a free man, everywhere, except…

Except in a country that would hunt Sean down were he to put his address on the back of an envelope.

Except in a country that would never cease in its desire to throw Sean behind bars, never hesitate to beat him to a pulp again, would stare with empty and dry eyes as they shot him without mercy.

Except in a country that would somehow instantly know where he is, were he to phone Daniel, ever, no matter where he was. One video call through whatever video calling app was the hot shit these days, and the USA would hunt him down, tie him up, throw him into prison.

Throw him into hell.

Fuck that.

Especially that.

That bit.

The bit where he couldn’t know, couldn’t check if Daniel was doing okay, couldn’t talk to him in person, nor over a payphone, nor a video call. He couldn’t even slip a permanent address inside the envelope, because for sure, Daniel would write him back. Sean was sure he would, there was no way Daniel would never write back, ever.

So, Sean can’t do that. Not yet. Not now. No.

He will have to wait.

Maybe five more years. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty.

Maybe when he’s old and grey and cataracts is blinding his remaining eye.

Maybe when he’s on his deathbed.

Maybe in the next lifetime where the wolf brothers could really grow up together in a safer country, in a safer time, in a safer normal.

Maybe never.

#Sean Diaz #Life Is Strange 2 #LIS2 #another lis2 fic that sucks lol #looked on ao3 and basically 99 percent of most kudosed and/or viewed fics are #like finn/sean #or another ship I will NOT name #you probably know exactly which other ship I'm talking about #so I guess if I want actual attention for fics #I have to write finn/sean even though I'm not into that ship #but I'd rather write finn/sean than that other popular ship

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the-gory-gardner · 4 years

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Hi I'm Honey! Part Two: Studying

(A/N: Different Meeting/Soulmate AU- Soulmates Drawings On Skin Will Appear On Their Soulmate’s Skin

Character(s): Honey Reynolds, Age: 12, Jesse Cromeans, Age: 27 )

Honey Reynolds & Jesse Cromeans (Platonic Soulmates)

Jesse smiled leaning against the bar only to wince slightly when it touched a bad bruise on his back. He couldn't believe that sucker hadn't healed yet. Besides that it had been a pretty good kill. He was definitely better than when he first started.

He had decided to relax a bit and grab a drink before he had to head home. He couldn't stay up too late since he had a meeting in a morning which he hated but if he really wanted his business to be something he'd have to suck it up.

One of the food things about this bar despite it not being too well known was the live entertainment. "Up next is our own Mercedes". Jesse smirked a bit to himself the girl was a looker with a hell of a voice. He went to take another swing of his scotch stopping when he saw the words on his wrist.

He quickly pulled the pen he kept on his person writing back.

H- Hey Jessie you up?

J- Yeah kid what are you doing up so late it's a school night?

H- Homework and studying got a math test tomorrow.

J- Need any help?

H- I don't understand any of this shit.

J- Hey Language.

H- I'm twelve not six, kids my age say worst than shit.

J- And are you any of those kids? No so no cursing.

H- Fine dad.

Jesse rolled his eyes, Honey's teen years were going to be Hell. He really hoped it was mostly hormones and she'd revert to her old sweet self once puberty was over.

J- Alright kid just tell me what you need help with.

H- I don't even think it matters progress reports come out tomorrow and mom and dad will kill me when they see my grades.

Jesse had to breath will quick before replying. He knew Honey didn't tell him everything she'd never made any mention of physical abuse but what did say they were emotionally abusive and neglectful. He had told her sometime ago that one word and he'd take her away from there but Honey was worried he'd get in trouble.

Like anyone could touch him. But he agreed telling her that if they lied one hand on her he was getting her no arguments.

J- Are they home?

He knew that they'd leave her and her brother alone for weeks at a time for business.

H- No there in New York until next Wednesday and A.J's on some field trip for honour roll students til Friday.

J- They just left you there by yourself for a week.

H- It's not too bad I have full control of the TV and there's food in the fridge.

H- Oh plus I've been saving up money from raking the neighbor's yard and petting sitting so I can order pizza.

Jesse sighed, pinching his nose between his fingers before downing the rest of his scotch. He swore if he didn't shave his head he'd already have gray hairs.

J- Alright kid this is what were going to do now i'm going to help you with your homework and then tomorrow I'm going to explain how to forge a report card.

H- Thanks Jesse I appreciate it.

J- It's nothing what are soulmates for.

H- Talking about soulmates I've been having that one nightmare again.

Though he had suspected it long ago they'd all but confirmed that Honey had another soulmate. This one she would share dreams with. One night she'd see their dream and some they'd see hers. Whoever they were seemed to have a ton of terrifying nightmares that had been a struggle for Jesse to help her with.

H- Do you think their okay?

J- I don't know kiddo but one day you'll meet them and can help them however you can.

After that they spent the next few minutes with Jesse explaining the questions and helping her solving them. Once she was finished with her homework Jesse convinced her to go on and lie down. The study would be no help if she was exhausted during the test.

Now dealing with some newly found stress Jesse decided that a another quick drink wouldn't be bad. Just as his new glass was poured a figure sat down next to him. "Don't mind if I sit here do you handsome"? Asked the person who he quickly recognized as the cute bar singer.

Jesse shook his head not minding one bit. "Too shy to talk"? She asked a raised brow. Whereas others making that comment might have ticked him off he'd let her off the hook. He pulled out his phone quickly typing up a message.

MUTE ACTUALLY.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you anyway". The girl said hurriedly feeling bad.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT YOU DIDN'T, MERCEDES RIGHT?

"Yeah but my friends call me Missy". She greeted holding out her hand still a bit sheepish and maybe a bit intimidating by his large size. Jesse took her small hand in his bringing it to his lips flustering the blonde.

JESSE CROMEANS IT'S A PLEASURE.

#Honey Reynolds #Jesse Cromeans #Chromeskull #Laid To Rest #Jesse Cromeans & OC #submission

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magicandmayhcm · 4 years

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Surprise Encounter | A Drabble

Who: Victoria Strand & Renee Reynolds Where: Victoria’s School When: Two weeks after Renee arrives in Austin What: Renee shows up as school lets out to ‘surprise’ her daughter

It had been nine years. In those nine years, Victoria hadn’t thought much about the woman who gave birth to her. It would be wrong to call her her mother. The woman - Renee - had abandoned her at the age of six. She was anything but a mother in the teen’s eyes. The only reason she had thought about the older brunette recently was because of the letter she’d received not that long ago, asking the girl if she would come to New York for the older’s wedding.

What Tori didn’t know was that Renee knew more than she’d alluded to in the letter. She knew where Owen was working; knew where Tori went to school; and she’d flown down to Austin right around the time she expected the letter to arrive at the Strand house. She had planned things out perfectly. She would make sure Victoria saw her first; or at least, that had been the plan. Until she’d run into Owen and knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid him. No. Their split was less than amicable when they had broken up, but what she’d done to their child had been what had sealed her fate in his book as a woman who could not be trusted.

So they’d talked. And she’d realized that it was going to be a lot harder to get near Victoria with Owen in the way. He wouldn’t allow the meeting to happen; that much she was sure of. Which meant she would have to make the meeting happen without him there somehow. Easy enough. All she had to do was show up at the girl’s school as the final bell rang. She knew that Tori took the bus home most of the time, because Owen was usually at work. She’d show up and offer the girl a ride home and it would give the two a chance to talk.

That’s what she did that Friday. She was waiting right in front of the school as the bell rang. She waited another ten minutes until she spotted the brunette walking out the front door, talking to a couple of other girls. She’d know Victoria anywhere, even if she hadn’t seen her in so many years. She looked just like she had as a little girl, only more grown up.

Stepping out of her car, she closed the door and started to approach the three girls, putting a smile on her face.

“Victoria, hi honey.”

At the sound of her name, Tori turned automatically. At first she didn’t recognize the woman standing there. It took her a moment to realize who she was - from old pictures she’d found stashed in the house that she’d thought had been gotten rid of long ago. This was her; this was Renee. A chill went through the teen’s spine. How had she found her? How was she even here?

“Um... hi?”

Her friends gave her looks that she took to be asking if she was okay. She assured them she would be fine and would catch up with them later. Slowly, she allowed her legs to move forward, coming slightly closer to the woman she now knew was her mother.

“Well, aren’t you going to hug me? I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“I guess I can...”

Tori wasn’t used to disobeying authority figures. She didn’t like disappointing people in her life, and she was horrible at telling people no. All of those things added up to her tentatively stepping forward and allowing Renee to wrap her arms around her in a tight embrace that Tori barely reciprocated.

“What do you say I give you a ride home, hmm? Then we can catch up a little bit.”

“I’m really supposed to take the bus. I mean - dad might get upset...”

“Your father doesn’t have to know, alright? This can be just between us.”

“I don’t know --”

“C’mon Vic. It’s the least you can do since you never even responded to my letter.”

The guilt trip. It was something that always got Tori to agree to something because she hated feeling guilty. “Okay, I guess..”

“Are you hungry? We could stop and get something to eat on the way there.”

“No thanks, I need to get home and get my homework and chores done.”

“Homework and chores? Your father has you on a tight ship doesn’t he?”

The two walked to the car in silence, Tori not knowing what to say. Of course she didn’t feel that Owen was strict. He was a single father, doing his best to raise a teenage daughter on his own. He did the best he could, and Tori would always love him for everything he did for her.

“You didn’t answer my question, Vic. Does your dad run a tight ship? It’s okay to tell me these things, you know. If there’s something you don’t like about him it’s safe to talk to me about it.”

“He’s not that bad,” she answered with a shrug. “I have to do my homework and chores and I have a curfew, but that’s pretty normal stuff. He’s the best dad someone could ask for. I don’t know what I’d do without him...”

She stopped. Did Renee know about Owen’s cancer? If not, Tori really didn’t want to be the person to inform her of the diagnosis. It wasn’t her place and she knew there could be implications from it if she did. She wasn’t willing to risk that.

“C’mon, there’s gotta be something about him you don’t like.”

Another shrug. “Not really. He and TK are great. If I had to say something I don’t like it’s that they still tease me about getting stuck in a baby swing, but that was my own fault.”

“A father teasing his daughter about something she doesn’t want to remember? Seems like he isn’t that great of a person after all.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to remember it. I said that’s the only thing I can think of that I don’t like. It’s funny to look back on it now. It was embarrassing when it happened.”

“And it happened, how? Because you lacked adult supervision?”

“I’m 15, I hardly require adult supervision at the park. I’m pretty sure most teens know better than to try and fit in equipment designed for babies. It was really my own dumb fault.”

“What about work, does your dad work a lot?”

“No more than he did in New York. The fire station here is really nice. He rebuilt it after they lost almost all their members to an explosion. The people he has working with him are super nice.”

“Sounds great.”

The sarcasm was clear, even to Victoria, who wondered what this trip was really all about.

“Look, we’re almost to my street. I don’t need you to drop me off at the door. I want to get out now. I don’t know what this ride was all about but I’m not comfortable talking anymore.”

“I’m dropping you off at the house. I know which one is yours so it’s not like you have to worry about me finding you. This ride was about a mother getting to know her daughter that she hasn’t seen in several years. Is it really that big of a deal to you? You want nothing to do with me is that it? What, did your father tell you lies about me over the years?”

“No. He doesn’t talk about you. You’re the one who left us remember?”

“Clearly leaving was a bad idea. That attitude of yours wouldn’t be there if you’d been raised properly. Yet another example of how your father’s messed up with you. My lawyer is going to love hearing about this.”

“Y - your lawyer?”

“Oh yes, did I not mention? I’m not just here to reconnect or try to convince you to come to my wedding. I’m here to win custody back of you. Well, here we are. Have a good day. Oh, and you better not mention this little talk we had with your father, or you’ll regret it. Understood?”

The smile perched upon Renee’s face was enough to make Tori jump out of the car and run inside the house. Was this really happening? Did she just get told the woman who abandoned her was going to try to get custody back? And she wasn’t supposed to tell Owen about this ... she was worried about what might happen if she went against the woman’s orders.

Feeling the first tear slide down her face, she made sure the front door was locked before going to her bedroom and shutting herself in there. She would remain there for the rest of the night, even after Owen came home from work. She didn’t want to talk to him; she couldn’t. She was now dealing with this all on her own and she was terrified.

#drabble: surprise encounter #// man i really hate tori's mom. that is all

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harryandmolly · 5 years

Text

i could write it better than you ever felt it - eight

A/N: in my grand tradition of Not Writing Lyrics, Forefront’s songs are brought to you by Jack’s Mannequin.

summary: fuck growing up. this is freedom, this is life, this is youth – 2007 Warped Tour style.

warnings: Language, The Shit Hath Hitteth The Fan (TM)

word count: 4.9k

“Florida is so fucking disgusting,” Francis whines.

Shawn sniffs and nods, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. It doesn’t help, just spreads more sweat around.

“It’s a swamp, what do you expect?” Seth gripes, kicking at a patch of muddy grass beneath their feet.

The Forefront boys are fucking wiped. It’s the middle of July. Warped has dragged them through 14 cities in three and a half weeks, and they have five weeks remaining. They’re hitting the Warped wall, the one all the bands hit after about a month of slogging through humidity, through beer-soaked afternoons and hungover mornings, through crowds of kids with too many feelings whose resounding screams of familiar lyrics are what keep everybody moving.

“Can we borrow your fuckbuddy’s shower later?” Bobby jokes, kicking aside a smashed-in red Solo cup as they stalk toward Smartpunk for their 2pm set time.

The hair on the back of Shawn’s damp neck stands. He chews on his lower lip so his piercing juts out. A thousand responses fly through his head, some more aggressive than others, and just as he opens his mouth to let one out, Seth clamps a hand down on his shoulder and steps in.

“Val Moreno knows better than to let you anywhere near her bus.”

The rest of the band snickers. Shawn releases a tense exhale and casts a sidelong glance at Seth who lifts his eyebrows and shrugs, ever the willing mediator.

The trek from the van to Smartpunk feels long today and it might just be because Streets’ merch booth is on the other side of the Reynolds Park Yacht Center’s grounds. It gives him less of an excuse to happen to pass her and maybe get a kiss, or, if he’s really lucky, a quickie in a dirty bathroom somewhere.

They arrive at the backside of the stage. Andrew is leading the charge as usual as Shawn dreamily wanders at the back of the crew. He’s gazing around aimlessly, head full of lyrics ready to be written, so he doesn’t notice the commotion. He’s kicking at the ground and biting his lip ring again when Seth nudges him. He looks up and follows Seth’s eyes to where Andrew is talking very close to the face of the bulky security guy. Shawn frowns. He goes to nudge Francis questioningly when Andrew turns on his heel looking flushed and startled.

“Ok. Change of plans. You’re on Hurley.”

“We’re…” Bobby breathes, unable to finish.

“Hurley…?” Seth croaks.

“You mean Hurley.com?” Shawn guesses.

Andrew licks his lips and cocks his head at the band who all seem to have shrunken a few inches each. “No. Hurley.”

Shawn’s stomach lurches. They’re all tripping over their own feet as they change direction and head for a stage that’s two levels of clout above where they have any business playing.

That’s when Shawn begins to notice it. They’re being watched.

The glances, the whispers, if they were there before, they were invisible to him. They’re unignorable now as Andrew lifts his chin and leads them back the way they came, back past a confused looking Carter at what could generously be described as their merch booth.

The Hurley stage… well, for one thing, it has a roof. Shawn’s bad with dimensions but it looks like it’s at least fifteen or twenty feet longer and deeper than Smartpunk. They’ve opened on stages this big when they got gigs at Toronto clubs for bands like Streets and All Time Low, so they at least have the experience of spreading out a little. Shawn can feel the nerves though. Seth is finger drumming against a railing a little faster and less rhythmic than usual. Francis is texting on his Sidekick but looking around anxiously like he’s sharing state secrets. Shawn swallows and closes his eyes. He suddenly really wishes Val were here to like, hold his hand or something.

He’s not crazy about that realization. That’s not what Val does. Despite his reaction earlier to Bobby’s comment, he’s right. They are fuckbuddies. They fuck in Val’s bunk, in the back lounge, in venue bathrooms, at bars she sneaks him into when they have a night off in certain cities. Yeah, he usually sleeps in her bunk with her, but that’s just because he’s like a giant human gravity blanket like she told him. He’s warm and heavy and doesn’t snore and she needs that kind of physical, human comfort for her insomnia. But it’s not, like, romantic.

He rolls his eyes at himself and knows very well all the flashes of imagery he’s ignoring -- when she wants his attention, she tugs at the back pocket of his jeans and kisses his shoulder. When they wake up together, he buries her face in his hair and sings her new music he’s working on and she helps him untangle some melodies and lyrics in his head.

It’s hard to reconcile it sometimes, the way they are 15% of the time, with the rest of it.

He’s startled out of his pointless examination by Bobby kicking at the back of his leg.

“Listen,” Bobby pants, wide-eyed and a little horrified by what he seems to hear.

Shawn narrows his eyes to focus. Then he gets it.

“How… how many people do you think are out there?” Shawn murmurs, scrubbing at the back of his neck.

Francis, for once, is stunned silent by the steady roar of the mass of humans waiting on the other side of the stage. From back here, they can’t see them and Shawn can’t decide if that’s better or worse. Bobby shakes his head and kicks at a spare riser to release some tension.

“Fuck,” Shawn croaks, folding his hands over his nose and mouth, exhaling slowly. He feels a hand on his arm. His skin jumps as fast as his brain does, right towards a false conclusion.

But it’s just Andrew wearing a sternly comforting look.

“You guys have done this before,” he reminds them gently, “They’re just… here for you now. Which makes it easier, not harder. You have no one to win over out there. You… you guys already did that.”

Shawn’s breath is shaky in his chest as they huddle up, swinging long, sweaty arms around each other, dipping their heads together to mutter hype words before they break apart and wait for the guy to announce them.

Shawn’s eyes close. This part, this is for him. He knows he has a band around him, he knows he has a family back home that loves him, he knows he has… an unknown number of people on the other side of a stage that came to see him. But these few seconds between the huddle and climbing up the steps to burst onto the stage, those are for him.

They’re for the hours he’s spent yawning through exhaustion, true bone-tired exhaustion, reaching for the right notes, the right words. They’re for the nights he spent facedown on his comforter back home in Pickering with headphones in listening to old Fall Out Boy and Yellowcard and Something Corporate feeling so inspired he thought his pounding heart would burst through his chest and splatter on the mattress. They’re for the times he felt like no one was there but him, like he needed something to believe in, so he drowned himself in pop-punk until he convinced himself he wasn’t so alone. They’re for the kid who pawned his hockey skates without telling his dad so he could buy his first shitty guitar.

When he opens his eyes again, his brain is turned off. Andrew hands him an acoustic and claps him on the shoulder. He ascends the steps behind the rest of the band, following them out to face the crowd.

There are easily hundreds of kids waiting for them, cheering as soon as they come around the side of the stage to take their places. Any lingering concerns Shawn had about the crowd realizing they’ve waited for the wrong band are gone. He locks eyes with a redhead against the barricade. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyeliner is a little runny, but she’s on her toes in battered old checkered Vans to lean over the metal gate to scream for them like she’s loved them for as long as she’s lived. When she realizes he sees her, she bounces up and down, elbowing the brunette next to her, reaching her arms out for him like she’s been waiting for this moment. He grins and tosses her a pick. She snatches it out of the air and gawps like a goldfish, jamming it into her bra before anyone can try to swipe it out of her fingers.

He plays the rest of the show for her, and for everyone like her that needs him as badly as he needs them.

“Just try it, come on!” Jack cries, wriggling so he can lift his shirt up to his chest, flexing his non-abs to make a point.

“It’s not going to work,” Val insists, smiling at the girl she’s handing $7.50 change to along with a size large Streets tour shirt.

She looks down at Jack Barakat, who has spread himself out across her merch table insisting she try to bounce a quarter off his stomach because he wants to prove to his bassist Zack that it will work.

“It is!” he whines, thrusting a quarter into her hand, wiggling again, “Come on!”

Val is about to give in and humor him when she catches sight of four very flustered looking teenage girls hustling around the crowds to head toward the larger stages.

“.... what time did the set start?” one barks.

“2!” cries another, raising their urgency.

“Oh my god, I am going to fucking kill myself if we miss Forefront playing on the fucking Hurley stage.”

Val’s jaw drops. She slaps Jack’s stomach for his attention. “The what? What did they say? Did they say Hurley?”

Jack cradles the welt forming on his skin and kicks blindly at her leg in weak retaliation.

“Yeah, they got the call up to the big leagues today. He didn’t tell you?”

Val frowns, a little insecure, “No. How did you hear?”

“Well,” Jack explains, sitting up and swinging his legs, “Alex told me but I think he heard it from Evan who was walking by the Paramore tent and Jeremy told him that he heard it from Josh who was told by--”

“Ok,” Val interrupts, mind blank as a sheet, “You have to stay here. You have to watch my table.”

“I can’t, we’re on in twenty minutes.”

“Fuck!” Val mutters, frantically looking around the stragglers by her booth. Just as she’s about to say ‘fuck it’ and abandon the table altogether, Greg comes swinging out of the bus with a truly horrifying microwaved hot dog in one hand and his Virgin Mobile flip phone in the other.

“Oh, thank god,” she breathes, springing out from behind the table to grab his arm and yank him into her place, “You have to watch the booth.”

“Are you ok?” Greg chuckles, lifting his eyebrows at her.

“I’m fine!” she cries, “I owe you one! Bye!”

Twelve years of competitive soccer have sharpened her sprinting and dodging skills. She bobs and weaves easily around liberty-spiked hair and enormous puddles of mud with a singular goal.

The Hurley stage. How did that even fucking happen?

She’s trying not to focus on the fact that he didn’t tell her this, because he knows as well as she how fucking big a deal it is, and he could’ve mentioned it at some point this morning between sucking her orgasm off his fingers and muttering “fuck, yes, fuck, that feels good” when she let him come in her mouth. But he didn’t.

Instead, she focuses on getting there to witness it. She sees the stage a few hundred yards away and from this angle, she can see the crowd. It’s a far fucking cry from their usual draw -- that AP Mag article definitely caught some attention. Her heart swells with pride until she remembers, just after she flashes her pass at Bucky the guard and begins to run up the steps to sidestage, that that pride isn’t hers to feel.

He’s not her boyfriend. He’s her… friend. With benefits. The benefits are really great, especially after a few weeks of practice. But any emotional attachment she feels to his accomplishment of his is… misplaced.

She drops her hand from the railing and steps back from the stairs. As her chest heaves from the effort of racing there, she takes long, striding steps backward, past Bucky’s curious gaze. She swallows, frowns a little at the pang in her heart, and walks around the edge of the crowd to stand somewhere in the back.

Somewhere in the back lands her beside Paramore’s merch tent. She smiles politely at their merch guy Max and props up on their tent leg to take it in.

They’ve just finished “Holiday from Real” and Shawn’s setting up at the keyboard, striking out the first few notes of “Dark Blue.” She has good timing -- it’s her favorite off Joy Ride, she thinks.

He’s wearing a soft smile like he doesn’t hear the booming cries of his audience as they begin to register what he’s playing next. He’s smiling like he’s playing for himself, by himself, for no other reason than because he has to to feel real.

“This was recorded on a grand piano,” he begins, licking his lips, waiting for the shrieking of excited girls to quiet before he continues, “So it sounds kinda shitty on the keyboard. But we’re poor and can’t bring a grand piano in a truck for Warped Tour so we work with what we got. You should buy the album because it sounds better on there, I promise. Anyway, this is Dark Blue.”

Val grins, chuckling as she steps aside to let some fans through to the merch table. She’s bobbing her head, lost in the way his face scrunches as he dips in and out of his falsetto, when she feels a brush against her arm. She turns her head and grins.

“Hey, you,” she laughs, opening her arms to shrug Hayley Williams into her shoulder, squeezing her gently.

“Come for a visit?” Hayley asks, stepping away to flip some shaggy fire engine red hair off her shoulders.

Val shakes her head and glances back at the stage. “Just watching, actually.”

Hayley nods her understanding and turns her attention in, biting her lip as she studies the performance. As the final notes fade out and Shawn stands from behind the keys to reach for the scarred blue electric Vince hands him, Hayley bumps Val again.

“They’re really fucking great,” Hayley quips. Val runs her tongue against her lower lip, watching Shawn toss a pick into the crowd and laugh at something Francis says that she can’t understand from this far back over the roar of the audience.

“They are.”

Val doesn’t hear herself answer Hayley. She’s lost.

But, as she stares up at him, watching his head bob and his eyes flutter shut, watching his heel tap the stage to the rhythm Seth pounds out behind him, smiling when he does at the crowd of people that came to see him today, she doesn’t feel lost at all. For the first time in months, she feels… found.

Val feels like a goldfish swimming circles around her bowl as she paces around the empty Forefront van. She’s kicking up mud all over the place and it’s clinging to her violet Bullhead skinnies that were already begging for a wash, but she hasn’t noticed. She wrings her hands, cracks her knuckles, untucks and retucks her hair behind her ears.

Val had turned avoiding Forefront’s sets into a goddamn art form. Yes, she caught one or two toward the beginning of tour when her heart didn’t feel quite so… full of him. When listening to him sing was easy and light and a fun new experience. He hadn’t asked her to come watch and she didn’t feel like that was by accident. She had a feeling maybe he had the same thought, that her watching the set was somehow a dangerous idea.

She thinks maybe her functioning human brain just shut down when she heard they were playing Hurley and that’s why the lizard brain took over and dragged her there to stand behind a sea of scene kids. That’s the only explanation she can think of. Rational thought was just… gone.

Now, as she turns crop circles around their 15-seater waiting for them to return from their triumphant set, she knows for certain why avoiding their sets was necessary.

Because now she’s certain that she’s so goddamn in love with him.

I mean, ok, it’s been a month. Maybe love is a strong word. Maybe she’s infatuated, maybe it’s as fleeting as Warped Tour itself. Maybe this time next year she’ll be laughing at the idea of Shawn Mendes. But right now, she slumps against his van and sighs, knees weak at the thought of him.

This was… not supposed to happen. She was supposed to take the summer to move on, to continue recovering and relax before she leaves in the fall. She’s supposed to be spending late nights talking to Bea and bonding with her brother and pranking Alex and Jack at barbecues and swallowing her last gulps of the scene before she leaves it behind for good.

But she knows. She has known it. And she knows it now when she hears his laugh coming up the hill overtop the voices of his rowdy band and crew. She turns and smiles, waiting for him to see her.

She knows it when he stops mid-sentence and races up to her, tackling her against the side of the van as he laughs into her neck, his skin buzzing with adrenaline, ignoring the teasing of his friends. She knows it when he pulls back to smooth hair out of her face and kiss her, so she opens her big, fat mouth.

“Do you want to stay with me in the hotel tonight?”

A hotel night with Val is just about the most perfect way to end a day like this, so why the fuck is he dreading it?

Hotel nights are for the lucky few on Warped Tour, bands who are signed to labels with actual cash and generally have been around the scene collecting a fanbase for awhile, a.k.a. not Forefront.

Streets has had two hotel nights so far, both of which Val made excuses to keep from inviting Shawn to. The first, she was “sick.” The second, Bea would be crashing in her room. The reality of both? It felt a little too… much.

There’s something about a hotel room with clean sheets and a view of the city and a shower that could fit them both at once that brings them both out of the grimy, slimy Warped Tour bubble and into a reality that’s a little harder to face. Val hasn’t been ready for that and Shawn hasn’t pushed for it because the longer they keep their heads buried in the fairground dirt, the better off they are.

He doesn’t even mean to say yes, really. But his mouth moves a little faster than his brain and trips right into a “oh fuck, yes.”

Now as he’s walking a little too slowly toward the Streets bus with his head down and hands shoved deep in his pockets, his whole body feels heavy and the buzzing in his brain gets louder and louder with every step.

It’s not that he doesn’t want it. God, he fucking wants it. A night alone with her in a real bed? Jesus. But… it’s going to be so much harder to keep things the way they are after something like this. Everything is changing so fast -- he needs the stability, the simplicity of Val as she is, a beautiful escape.

He looks up with a belabored sigh and spots the Streets bus as it covers the sun setting over the horizon. The whole band and crew mills about excitedly outside, but Val is still, looking up over the bus. Her hair is drawn down over her shoulders brushing the bare skin on her back where her Yellowcard tee has ridden up. He finds himself drawn to her, walking right up behind her to plant his hands on her hips and push his nose into her hair for that warm, familiar smell of citrus and her.

Val closes her eyes at the tenderness of it, placing her hands over his and rubbing her thumbs gently over his knuckles. They remain silent, buried in their own conflicting thoughts, somehow aware of the tumult in each other’s minds. Val cracks first, turning in his arms to press her hands to his chest and take a deep breath. She locks eyes with him and swallows sharply.

“Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Hey, what’s this little divot in your face?” she breathes, running her whiskey flavored lips over his cheek. He shudders at the feel of her breath and swallows.

“Cut myself trying to shave when I was like, nine.”

Val feels her heart scrunch up in her chest, trying to reject the image. She doesn’t want it. She has no interest in picturing him curly-haired and bright-eyed, a curious nine-year-old with a world ahead of him. She has no interest in the tenderness she feels for him now, ten years later, with that perfect little scar on his cheek that drew her interest.

She has no interest in loving him.

But, after a drink or two from the minibar, she can’t really fight it anymore. Her nails scrape against his scalp as he plods hot kisses down her stomach, smiling gently as her muscles contract. She curls her fingers into his biceps until he pins her arms over her head, stroking into her slow and deep until his heart physically aches. He fucks the tenderness away, sprinting after her orgasm until she’s clenching down around him, swearing in Spanish, breathing hot and hard in his ear. When he pulls out from inside her, his body screams at him to stay, but his brain knows better.

Val turns over with the sheets around her hips and sighs happily into her pillow, tucking her hands under her chin as Shawn stands to ditch the condom. On his way back in, he stops dead in the doorframe of the bathroom and stares.

On Valentina’s back is what is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most beautiful tattoo he’s ever seen.

It’s pretty large, about 8’ by 8’, a scene out a window in a cracked white frame. He stumbles closer, brushing his fingers over the incredible detail as she purrs at the touch of his fingers on her sex-flushed skin.

“‘S my bedroom window,” she explains sleepily, her eyes still shut under the weight of her crushing orgasm, “From my parents’ house in Miami.”

He’s nodding, lost in the way the palm trees frame the colorful neighborhood, the little kid on a bike riding away. It feels… warm somehow. He’s enamored.

“I designed it,” she whispers so quietly he almost doesn’t hear.

Shawn’s attention is lifted from the art on her back. “You what?”

Val turns her head and opens her eyes to blink at him. “I’m an artist. I designed the tattoo. My friend Erika did it over the course of a couple months when we first got signed. I wanted a reminder of where I spent most of my time when I was a kid, staring out my bedroom window, wanting a piece of the world. Now, though… I like it as a reminder of where I came from, not where I’m going.”

Shawn sniffs gently, seeing a flash of his own childhood bedroom window in his mind -- pine trees, a long driveway, ice crystals on every surface. A request bubbles up in his throat for her to draw it for him. He swallows it down.

He bends over her lithe body and presses a kiss to the setting sun in the center of her masterpiece.

He crawls in and falls asleep beside her without another word.

He feels a little better when he wakes up.

She’s exactly where he left her, facedown in the pillow beside him with her art on display. Her hair is a nest of wild curls around her since they showered together before bed. He finally feels really clean for the first time in weeks.

He considers their night together while he pulls on a pair of sweats he brought to be ready for the room service he ordered for them. He remembers the haze of anxiety he fought through to be with her, to really be with her, and he doesn’t feel it’s fully lifted, but sharing last night was, for lack of a better word, special.

He’s cursing himself for being the world’s worst lyricist, unable to think of a better word when there’s a knock at the door. He springs out of bed to bring the room service in himself because Val’s still naked under the sheets.

He accepts the tray from the guy with a smile and a small tip because he only has a couple bucks on hand. As he’s maneuvering his way back inside, Raf comes swinging around the corner with a bucket of ice. Shawn freezes, still uncomfortable with the obviousness of his and Val’s relationship around her twin brother.

A series of odd looks come across Raf’s face until it settles on eerily placid. He smiles stiffly.

“Hey, man. You ordered breakfast?”

Shawn nods, attempting a crooked smile that comes off as a grimace.

Raf bobs his head. “That’s nice. You got her French toast, right?”

Shawn nods again.

“Good, good. That’s her favorite. She’s always liked the fancy stuff. Guess that’s why she’s going back to school at Oxford in the fall.”

Raf’s eyes lift from the tray in Shawn’s suddenly very shaky arms. He fixes Shawn with a dangerous glance and sweeps back inside his hotel room to settle in with Bea until checkout.

Shawn stands there dumbstruck, his back holding the door open, until he hears the sheets rustle behind him.

“You got breakfast, papi?” calls a delighted, sleepy voice.

Shawn turns, not looking half as happy as she is. She sits up, sheets pooling around her hips, nipple rings glinting proudly in the morning light as she raises her arms above her head to stretch. She drops them and smacks her lips together before she notices his expression.

Now she’s awake.

“What?” Val swallows, feels her heart begin to work a little harder.

“Raf. Just… he just told me…”

Val goes white as a sheet.

No.

“Papi, no, he just--”

“I…” Shawn begins, his brow wrinkling, “I think I need to go.”

Val watches him gather his clothes and slip out of the room before she can manage to think of something to make him stay.

That afternoon, after being on a low simmer all day, she storms up the steps to the bus and slams the door open, throwing herself into the front lounge. Raf looks up from his Xbox controller. Greg and Naveen know enough to scatter quickly.

Val steps forward and grabs the controller to toss onto the couch.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she barks.

Raf plays it cool, sighing condescendingly. “I don’t know, Val, what the fuck is wrong with me?”

“I don’t fucking know! I really don’t fucking know,” Val seethes, crossing her arms over her chest, “First you stumble back into bed with Bea like it’s fucking 2005 again, or the summer of 2004, or the fall of 2006, or whatever. And now this.”

Raf bristles, standing to confront her. “My relationship with Bea is none of your goddamn business.”

“Oh, is it not?” Val shrieks, throwing her arms out, “Coulda fooled me. Every time she stomps her tiny little feet all over your heart, you pour it all over me, ‘Val, you’re her best friend, tell me what she’s thinking,’ ‘Val, don’t let me call her again.’ Yeah, you’re right, you’ve definitely never made that my problem.”

“I needed your help!” he cries, “I needed you! Things were fucking bad and I needed my sister. But you pushed me away and made me feel weak and stupid. You’re always pushing me away, Val! We found one thing to do together, the one thing that made us feel like brother and sister instead of enemies, and you threw it away! Te necesité, me alejaste!”

Val’s eyes widen. “No! No, you’re not bringing this up again! Do not do this to me again!” she begs desperately, “I gave you everything I could. I could not give you my whole life, not for this. For this? To live out of a bus, to see our parents once every four months? To never be able to settle and build a life somewhere? I gave you that time, Raf! I had no more time to give. You keep punishing me for it! How long will you sabotage my life to remind me of what you think I owe you?”

Raf nods, dangerously quiet, “Sabotage your life, huh?”

He takes a step closer until he’s looming over her.

“You know what’s truly sick, Val?” Raf spits, using his height as his only advantage in this virtueless fight, “You don’t even know which secret I told him.”

Support my bad habits and buy me a ko-fi!

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @stillinskislydia @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @alone-in-madness @alone-in-madness @singanddreamanyway @accioalena @randi-eve @shawnitsmutual @embracehappy @itrocksmysocks @yslsaint

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #punk!shawn #warped tour shawn

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siriuslyem · 5 years

Text

Goodbye

An Original Random Element Short Story

Elements: A girl with lilac hair, a boy with a bicycle carriage business, an abandoned beach pier, and a temporary tattoo.

Flora Kennedy kicked at the gravel on the sidewalk with one of the toes of her worn-out floral vans. She had just finished her last shift of the week at Whisker Pete's, the town's local music store. As she waited, she scanned the street, looking for her friend Carter who was coming to pick her up for their last weekend together for a while. He would be heading to college on Tuesday, and she would be heading back to Reynold's High to start her senior year.

Without him, she thought, before shaking the thought from her head. Around her, the droopy eyed town was winding down from the hectic tourist season. As the tired shop keepers started to pack up to spend the fall and winter somewhere warmer, Flora frowned. No one ever seemed to want to stay in Sunset Harbor for long.

From a distance, she heard a ringing sound that could only come from one place, and sure enough, moments later, Carter Jones turned the street corner. Even before he pulled up to the curb, Flora caught the friendly smile forming on his face. She raised her eyebrows in question as he came to a stop, and the smile transformed into his trademark smirk.

"Yes?" He asked amused and chuckled as Flora responded by rolling her eyes.

"Seriously? Why would you bring this? Actually, why do you even still have this?"

"Some of us are entrepreneurs."

"You ride people around on your bicycle."

"I offer charming and unique carriage tours of one of the most beautiful coastal towns on the west coast." He insisted.

Flora raised an eyebrow. “It’s a pedicab.”

“Car-ri-age, and as usual, you’re raising both of your eyebrows, not one. Besides, this pedicab paid for three out of the four years I will be seeking an education.” Carter teased but changed the subject anyway, he knew how difficult she was taking his leaving. “Can I interest you in one last bicycle drawn carriage ride through our fair town?”

“I guess it beats walking.”

“Or boarding.” He said noticing the skateboard she was holding.

“It gets me places.”

“It’s going to get you hurt.”

“Says the guy biking without a helmet.” She said sarcastically, slouching in the seat, and smiling a little when she heard his low laugh.

“Florabelle… this is basically a tricycle for adults. If I turn this over, I probably need to evaluate more important things than my lack of helmet. Now, if you will kindly direct your eyes to the right, you will see that we have arrived at stop one on Carter and Flora’s epic weekend.”

“Are you serious?!”

“What?” Carter asked innocently, dismounting his bike.

“We literally didn’t even move.”

“I can’t help that you work so close to the ice cream shop, besides, this is only a pit stop. I have a lot that I want to do today.”

“We have all weekend you know.” She reminded him, as he held the door open for her.

“Time moves faster than you think.” His voice was low, almost sad Flora noted, but he bounced back quickly when he noticed her watching him and ushered her inside with a side nod.

True to his word, she was soon climbing back into the carriage and Carter began to pedal off toward their next mysterious destination. Flora smiled, enjoying the rocky road waffle cone he insisted on paying for, as he gave her a true tourist’s tour of Sunset Harbor. He took care to point out each point of interest and made her laugh as he told her stories she already knew by heart. By the end, the sun was barely poking up over the small-town skyline, and Carter looped back around onto main street where the tour had begun.

“Are you not even going to drop me off at home?” she asked puzzled. She started to pull her board from the storage compartment as he stopped in front of his family’s grocery store.

“We’re not finished,” he said with a wink, as he hopped off the bike. “Wait here, I need to get one thing.”

Minutes later, Carter returned with a cooler and a backpack and placed it in the seat next to her. “We only have one more stop.” He explained. “Hold onto this until we get there please.”

It was a short trip to their destination, a left at the end of Main Street onto Beach Drive instead of a right, and she knew where the last stop would be. After a couple more minutes, and some terrible jokes from Carter, they had arrived at the pier. It was abandoned this late in the day, the restaurants closed around sunset, and most kids from town were at an end of summer bonfire at the McCreed’s, a mile up the beach.

“They’re real loud tonight, aren’t they?” Carter mused as he pulled a blanked from his backpack and spread it on the ground at the end of the pier.

“As opposed to all of their silent parties?”

“I guess.” He said with a laugh, as he sat down and pulled out a couple of Dr. Peppers and sandwiches.

“Dinner?”

“Well I couldn’t very well keep you out all hours of the night and not feed you. I am a gentleman after all.”

“That much about you is true. You are a gentleman.”

“Oh, before I forget, I got you something and it came in the mail today.” Carter said as he rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an envelope. Flora raised both of her brows, purposely this time as she opened the envelope.

“You got me a temporary tattoo?”

“Yeah, but this one is really cool, it lasts for two weeks.”

“Really? Why’d you get this for me? Like I love it, but…”

“I know you wanted a real one, but your dad won’t let you until you’re eighteen. This is the next best thing.” He explained as she looked over the instructions.

“Can we do it now?”

“Yeah, where do you want it?”

“My shoulder of course.”

“Of course. The most obvious of places.” He teased but helped her apply the tattoo to her sun-tanned skin. In the moonlight, her lilac hair reminded him of one of the characters in an anime he used to watch as a kid, but it suited her. It reminded him of a flower, though with Flora, most things about her did. That’s why he picked the tattoo with large peony flowers. He knew she’d want to put it on her shoulder and have it stretch down onto her arm. She had only reminded him a couple hundred times over the years. Twenty minutes later, he removed the paper, and frowned.

“It didn’t really take.” He said.

“It says it takes a day to develop.”

“Oh, you’ll have to send me a picture when it’s ready.”

“Or you could see it yourself tomorrow night.” Her tone was matter of fact, as the fact was one that should have been common knowledge.

“Well.”

“Well what?”

“I’m actually leaving in the morning. I just found out there is a mandatory meeting Monday in my dorm, it’s some get to know you outing or something.” Flora turned away from him, her gaze falling out over the waves highlighted in moonbeams. There was a new feeling in her heart, one that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Betrayal.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I’ve tried for the last week. It never seemed like the right time.”

“Well, you should have told me sooner.” She said, snapping her head to meet his gaze, before looking down and picking the fuzz off the blanket.

“I’m sorry. I wish that we had more time.”

“Well, it was your idea to take me all around the town.” Flora said, and she looked up at him just in time to catch the faintest glimpse of the same sad smile he wore at the ice cream shop.

“I wanted you to be my last tour.”

“Last?”

“Yeah, Tommy Broadman’s son, Trevor, is coming by in the morning to pick it up. He seemed like a good fit. Responsible and charming like myself.

“And he actually knows all the facts and stories.”

“Yeah that’s a plus.”

“He’ll do good. Trev’s a good kid.”

“I know. It’s a little bittersweet. I’ve spent every summer on that bike since I was nine doing everything from grocery deliveries to tours.”

“Well, it’s a stepping stone. I’m sure by next summer you’ll have a new job in the city.”

“Yeah?” He laughed. “What can you see me doing?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Working in a coffee shop probably.”

“A coffee shop?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a barista vibe, and the girls will flock from all over of course.”

“Oh? What makes you think that?”

“Well, you’re a total babe of course.”

Flora’s eyes widened to the size of tea saucers as the reality of what had left her mouth dawned on her, and when her hand flew to cover her mouth, it's meaning confirmed itself. She was smitten with him, of course, all girls were with his dark eyes and perfect olive skin. Flora had crushed on him since she was ten years old, but Carter always called her his sister, which deterred more guys from dating her than it attracted. She didn’t much mind though, because most guys weren’t like Carter anyway.

“I see.” He said quietly, looking over at her a little more softly than he had in the past. “How long have you felt this way?”

“Seven years.” It was his turn to wear a look of surprise.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You called me your sister.” He shook his head a little, laughing under his breath.

“I didn’t know. If I had known…” He didn’t finish his sentence.

There was a soft silence between them, as the waves rippled below. There was an uncertainty in the air, a choice Carter had to make. He had convinced himself that she wasn’t into him. That after all these years, she still saw him as the boy with braces and glasses with lenses that seemed to be a solid inch thick; that she saw him as a brother. He thought that she had told him that once.

“Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you?” He asked her quietly. He didn’t prefer to be so vulnerable, but he was afraid if he masked it and pushed it away, he would end up hurting her more.

“No.” He chuckled sadly.

“Every single time I said goodbye.”

“But you never did.”

“No”

“Do you still want to?” Flora asked, looking up through her lashes, preparing herself for the disappointment she assumed would come.

“Florabelle, I’m going to school 2,000 miles away.”

“Yeah.” She agreed, tears slipping out of the corners of her eyes.

“It’s not fair to you. I shouldn’t have said anything. I told myself I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m, um, I’m going to head home okay?”

“Let me pack up and I’ll take you.”

“No, that’s okay, it’s late, and you probably need to pack.”

“Flora.”

“I’ll see you Thanksgiving them I guess.” She said walking backwards.

“Christmas, actually.”

“Yeah, well, be safe.”

“Flora.”

She grabbed her board from the storage compartment of Carter’s stupid carriage, and wiped the tears still falling down her face. Stupid tear glands, she thought as she set off down the road towards her house. This shouldn’t be a surprise. Flora knew this was exactly how it would end up going, but it seemed especially cruel to have told her how he felt, only to leave her disappointed in the end. He had no right, she decided as she climbed the stairs leading to her front door.

“Night peanut.” Flora’s father called from the front porch as she stormed by.

“Night.”

She continued her angry internal tirade all the way up the stairs to her bedroom. How dare he in fact. When he knew he was leaving to go to his fancy school, how dare he tell her. Why didn’t he tell her sooner? Why didn’t he kiss her sooner? She changed into pajamas and left her clothes in the floor on her way to her bed. No sooner than her head hit the pillow, the tears came like a dam bursting inside her. Betrayal.

The next morning, she ignored the texts, missed calls, and several voicemails from Carter, and went out into the backyard to garden. After a few minutes, her dad joined her. He didn’t say anything, which she was thankful for, she was happy to be in his company. He hummed as he worked, and it distracted her from thinking about Carter.

“He called again, right before I came out you know.”

“Hmph.”

“This might be hard for him too peanut, everyone knows that you all have been in love since middle school.”

“Yeah well. You haven’t said anything about my tattoo.”

“I know it’s not real. It wasn’t that dark when you came in.”

“Yeah well.”

“Peanut.” He started, never pausing his weeding. “Maybe you should give him another chance. I think he was trying to protect you?”

“Protect me, or stay single to sleep with every girl on the east coast?”

“Peanut.”

“I am not a child anymore. I don’t need to protection.” Her voice broke a little at the end, and her dad hugged her.

“You know, when we lost your mama, I felt betrayed too. It wasn’t her fault though, and I had to come to terms with that peanut. You should always give the people who love you a second chance. You never know how long they’ll be around you know. In the end, it’s your choice. Do what’s best for you.”

“Flora?” Carter’s voice was soft as he crossed the backyard. Her dad let go and patted her shoulder before turning back towards the house. Flora stood slowly and wiped the tears from her cheeks before she turned to face him.

“I have to leave in a minute. We’re actually late, but I didn’t want to leave without making things right.”

“It’s okay Carter. I understand. Be safe.” She hugged him tight, which took him by surprise, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll miss you.”

“Flora?” She looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since their fight last night.

Carter kissed her, leaning in slowly, making sure she had time to register what was happening, but she was still surprised by the action. “I didn’t want to make the mistake of leaving again without kissing you. Because, Florabelle, I love you, and I would like to figure out how to make this work.” Flora looked back towards the house and saw her father as he peeked curiously out of the kitchen window.

“We’ll figure this out then.” She said before kissing him goodbye. For now, at least.

#short story #writing #flash fiction #love #college #writers on tumblr

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noctem-novelle · 5 years

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This February, celebrate Black History Month with Black authors!

Culture is important, whether it’s your own to celebrate or someone else’s that you can learn about and appreciate. In the last few years, we’ve seen a steady increase in people of colour, LGBT communities, non-Christian religions, and non-European cultures represented in young adult and middle-grade fiction. While this is a great improvement and definitely a step in the right direction, people of colour are still underrepresented. We can do more to make sure that authors of colour are seen and heard. The following list, while by no means exhaustive, is a selection of excellent YA and MG novels written by Black authors*. This month, take some time to explore their stories.

*This list appears in no particular order and is not intended to be read as though any one book is superior to another.

1. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (Young Adult)

When sixteen-year-old Starr Carter witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend, she must decide whether to lie low or to join the protesters who seek justice for Khalil. A touching, timely, and often raw story about a girl who finds herself when she feels most lost, it’s no wonder this book has spent more than 100 weeks on the New York Times Best Sellers list.

2. Riding Chance by Christine Kendall (Young Adult)

Based on Philadelphia’s Work to Ride program, this novel follows a young man who gets into some trouble at school and winds up doing community service at the Chamounix Stables in Fairmount Park. There, he learns to play polo, an intense sport that teaches perseverance and focus. This book really hit home for me, having spent most of my childhood at polo matches with WTR. In real life, Work to Ride provides underprivileged children and teenagers in Philadelphia with constructive extracurricular activities, peer mentorship, and even college enrollment assistance. To learn more about Work to Ride, check our their website or Facebook page!

3. Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann (Young Adult/New Adult)

Let’s talk about the amazing QPoC rep in this book! Alice, who is asexual and biromantic, is determined to spend her post-breakup summer on a tv binge. She definitely does not intend to fall for her co-worker, Takumi. Whoops. This book is a mostly-fluffy slow-burn romance, full of nerdy pop-culture references. If you remember tumblr circa 2011, this book is for you.

4. Garvey’s Choice by Nikki Grimes (Middle Grade)

Garvey’s father has always wanted him to be an athlete, but Garvey is just not interested. When his only friend convinces him to join their school chorus, Garvey finds confidence and a new way to communicate to his distant dad. Told in verse, this is a heartfelt novel about one boy’s transformation through music.

5. American Street by Ibi Zoboi (Young Adult)

In her debut novel, Ibi Zoboi draws on her experience as a Haitian immigrant to tell the story of Fabiola, a young woman whose mother is detained by U.S. Immigration when they emigrate from Port-au-Prince to Detroit. This book explores the cost of the “American dream” with a mix of family drama, romance, and a hint of magical realism.

6. The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo (Young Adult)

Xiomara feels both invisible and too visible in a world that doesn’t want to hear her but is happy to objectify her. To express herself and to find some relief from her religious mother’s strict expectations, she turns to slam poetry. This novel-in-verse includes romance, wavering faith, and feminism.

7. Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (Young Adult)

This powerful novel features a young woman who is determined to make it out of her impoverished neighbourhood. Jade’s mother taught her to take every opportunity she’s offered, so every day she takes the bus across town to a private school where there are plenty of opportunities, even if she doesn’t quite fit in. But some opportunities are less welcome than others, like the chance to join a mentorship program for “at-risk” girls. Sick of being singled out as someone who needs help, Jade hopes to find some autonomy and to stay true to herself.

8. Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert (Young Adult)

Suzette is home in Los Angeles for the summer and she isn’t sure she ever wants to go back to boarding school. Between supporting her bipolar brother, Lionel, and trying not to think about her clandestine relationship with her roommate, she’s got a pretty full plate. Unfortunately, she’s also falling for the same girl that Lionel likes. When Lionel’s mental illness sends him spiraling, Suzette must face her past to help him. This family features a blended family, Black Jewish characters, and a queer woman of colour.

9. Courage by Barbara Binns (Middle Grade)

T’Shawn has done his best to help out since his father’s death, but life gets complicated when his brother Lamont comes home from a stint in prison. T’Shawn finds peace on the diving board, and earns a scholarship to join a prestigious team at a local swim club. But when the neighbourhood crime rate starts to rise, T starts to think that he and Lamont may never put their pieces back together.

10. Monster by Walter Dean Myers (Young Adult)

A murdered drugstore clerk, a trial, and a young man in crisis. Monster is the story of Steve Harmon, amateur filmmaker and alleged murderer. To cope with the trial, Steve writes down the proceedings as if it were a film script, but as he tries to tell his own story, the truth starts to feel a little hazy. This one has also been adapted as a graphic novel.

11. All-American Boys by Jason Reynolds (Young Adult)

Rashad wasn’t stealing, but people sure seem to think he was. After he drops a bag of chips and a police officer beats him for it, Rashad is stuck in a hospital bed while the nation debates his character. Meanwhile, Quinn, a white boy who witnessed the beating, comes to learn that racism didn’t end with the Civil Rights Movement.

12. Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor (Young Adult)

Sunny is an albino girl living in Nigeria. Her skin tone often makes her an outsider, but she soon finds herself drawn into a community of magic users called Leopard People. Together with her new friends, Sunny is tasked with tracking down a killer known for maiming children.

13. The Red Pencil by Andrea Davis Pinkney (Middle Grade)

Amira is finally twelve and hopes to start school, but her life is turned upside down when the Janjaweed militia attacks her Sudanese village and her family must make the long and difficult journey to a refugee camp. Life at the camp is hard, but when an aid worker gives her a pencil and paper, Amira’s world begins to expand.

14. One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia (Middle Grade)

Delphine Gaither and her two younger sisters travel from Brooklyn to Oakland to spend the summer with a mother they barely know. Imagine their surprise when she sends them to a Black Panther summer camp. Set in 1968, this historical fiction novel explores family dynamics and the importance of sisterhood.

15. Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson (Middle Grade)

In powerfully emotional poetry, Woodson tells the story of her childhood and what it was like to grow up Black in the 1960s and 70s. This novel-in-verse won the National Book Award and the Coretta Scott King Award.

16. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor (Middle Grade)

Between the depression and threats from the night riders, the Logan family has had a tough year. Cassie doesn’t see why her family’s land is so important, but as she becomes more aware of the way their white neighbours treat them, she soon comes to understand that the family’s strength comes from having their own place in the world. This book tackles the ugly reality of racism in the deep south from the perspective of a precocious nine-year-old. It can be hard to stomach at times, but I think that just makes it more important.

17. Zora and Me by Victoria Bond & T.R. Simon (Middle Grade)

Part historical fiction and part small-town mystery, this fictional imagining of Zora Neale Hurston’s early days sees the author as a young girl, exercising her skills as a storyteller. When one of Zora’s tales seems to come true and a man winds up dead, she and her friend Carrie find that things in their little town are not as peaceful as they appear.

18. Blended by Sharon M. Draper (Middle Grade)

Every since her parents’ divorce, Isabella has felt torn in two. Two houses, two families, two races. Switching between her parents, also means switching between two different identities. How can she ever feel whole when she’s constantly split in half? This book examines the life of a biracial girl, and doesn’t shy away from addressing exoticism and the (PG) fetishisation of mixed-race people.

19. Black Enough: Stories of Being Young and Black in America edited by Ibi Zoboi (Young Adult)

This contemporary anthology delves into the many-faceted lives of Black teens in the United States. Popular authors from a wide variety of backgrounds have contributed their voices to show that being young and Black in America is not just one singular experience, but a constellation.

20. The Parker Inheritance by Varian Johnson (Middle Grade)

A hidden letter and a summer mystery are what await Candace when she pokes through an old box in the attic. With the help of her neighbour, Brandon, she deciphers the letter’s clues in the hopes of discovering a forgotten fortune. This book is perfect for readers who like a good puzzle.

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popwasabi · 5 years

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Remembering My Hero, Robin Williams, Five Years Later

Not terribly long ago I used to deride others for feeling sad in the wake of a famous celebrity’s death.

My argument would go something like in the grand scheme of things their deaths “didn’t matter” when compared to various other atrocities and terrible, tragic things going on in the world. I even wrote an entire opinion piece poo-pooing the general populace for being sad in the wake of Whitney Houston’s death waaay back in 2012 for my University paper back in the day all largely because since I didn’t feel anything no one else should essentially.

Then Robin Williams died.

Well, more accurately Robin Williams committed suicide then everything changed for me.

To this day, I can’t recall a single death that has affected or beat me down more than this famous, larger than life comedian’s all too early passing and it still eats me up every time I think about it even five years later. You see, Robin was something of a hero of mine, an uber talented and charismatic funny man who seemed to perform his comedy with the kinetic energy of a hurricane and his humor often brightened my darkest moments growing up.

For him to die the way he did was beyond devastating for me.

Every 90s kid grew up on his various memorable performances. Whether it was “Aladdin” as the Genie, Peter Pan in “Hook” or masquerading as a nannie to win his family back in “Mrs. Doubtfire” we all had one performance that made us all fans early on.

(For some reason I always remember “Flubber” first though haha)

I didn’t start to truly appreciate him though until high school when I discovered his comic stand-up routines from his earlier years.

Despite not growing up in 70s or 80s his humor was nonetheless electric, unlike any previous comic I had seen up until that point and his impressions of Ronald Reagan, Henry Kissinger and Richard Nixon are still among my favorites. Live at the Met is an all-time favorite comic stand-up performance and much later Live on Broadway still has one of the greatest closing jokes ever:

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(”Harder than Chinese Algebra” is definitely a line I’ve used in my college years)

What I loved most about his performances was that he could be boisterous and sincere at the same time. Being both genuine and vulgar simultaneously and in the best way. Weave bizarre character references into personal tales of his own life. Tell a multitude of hilarious stories and references at 100 miles a minute like a comedic roller-coaster ride that lasted the duration of his performances and you never wanted to get off it. It’s true when Time Magazine referred to his comedy as something all comedians loved and respected but could never in a million years duplicate. Robin was a one of a kind talent, the penultimate original, and fans loved him for it.

Robin did his performances with such natural gusto and spontaneous hilarity that it might shock you to know he always wrote virtually every line of his stand-ups before his performances. To bring that humor to life with such infectious joy takes real talent and no one can ever deny Robin was one of the best if not the best at it.

The remarkable thing is on top of his stand-up the dude was an all-time great actor on top of that displaying ranges from as absurd as “Death to Smoochie” and “World’s Greatest Dad” to as sensitive and thought provoking as “Good Will Hunting” and “Dead Poet’s Society.” Robin wasn’t afraid to show a darker side either in famous roles such as “Insomnia” and “One Hour Photo.” His range was simply amazing.

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(Personally my favorite^)

Like many high-schoolers, I was angsty teenager prone to hormonal anger and twitches, depressed I couldn’t score girls and that I wasn’t popular but at the end of the day I always had Robin to cheer me up.

As I became more and more a fan I’d read more into his life learning I actually had quite a few things in common with the famous funny man from a love of all things sci-fi including even anime and Warhammer to a deep appreciation of video games as he famously named his daughter Zelda after the titular Nintendo princess of the same name.

He was not just a comedian to me; he was one of us. America’s favorite funny, semi-secretly nerdy uncle and I loved him for it.

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(The sweetest Nintendo commercial ever. #uglycrying)

I would carry my love of this magnificent comedian into college where I would routinely re-listen to his greatest hits when I was at my lowest of lows and boy did I have plenty of them during this period of my life and many of them revolved around suicide.

For reasons that are too personal to expand on, I had a friend who I was close with early in college who had some deep mental health and abandonment issues. She would constantly fear the worst out of others’ intentions and whether I would stick around with her to help her through it all in life. This put a heavy drain on myself and eventually it broke me enough to just attempt to cut her out of my life.

So, she threatened to kill herself when that happened.

If you’ve never tried talking someone down out of suicide before it is by far the scariest thing I have ever had to do and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. To try to reason with someone who is convinced that their life is meaningless that no one cares about them that they are better off dead than alive is unlike any terror I’ve ever experienced. What scared me the most was what I would do with myself if I failed to talk her down. Could I live with myself if I couldn’t do enough to save this person? Is the blood on my hands too since it was my actions that drove her to this point?

Well, long story short, I did succeed in talking her down but it left a tremendous mark on my soul that I don’t think I’ll ever forget (it also would not be the last time this would happen). I did eventually move on from this person (for both our sakes) but the depression it left within in me still stings.

There are limits to emotional dependency that we should all understand and in my need to fix everything for those I cared about I started not to care about myself and it damn near killed me. You should always try to feel empathy and help those who are need but you can’t forget about yourself in this regard because it will destroy you too. Painfully and slowly.

That semester I listened to probably more Robin Williams than I ever had in the past. His humor keeping me from being an unfeeling zombie and my mind from breaking from the stress of that year (there were other events that compounded what was going on.) Robin kept me going, kept me laughing in a period I didn’t have a lot to feel joyful about and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

Then a few years later, as well know now, on August 11, 2014 Robin took his own life.

Like most everyone else I was shocked, distraught, and in total disbelief. How could a man who had seemingly endless joy and lived by all measures a far more successful life than most people ever would feel the need to kill himself?

It was tragic beyond comprehension.

The aftermath of course was an outpouring of love and support to the Williams family particularly his children but there was also the detractors as well. People who denounced him as some sort of coward for taking his own life, Christian zealots who believed he was rotting in hell for his sin and all matter of bad takes regarding him being too privileged to be depressed. It was infuriating and broke my heart all at once. Here was a man who more than most probably deserved a happy ending, dead by his own hands and now subjected to dumb moronic statements by people who probably will never understand what depression does to someone.

You’d would only need to a modest amount of research to understand where Robin’s depression could come from though. Despite growing up in an affluent household his father and mother were rarely there with him, raised practically by the maids in his household and by himself most of his childhood. He had survivor’s guilt for being in the same room John Belushi died in many decades prior (which would become a wake-up call for his own drug addictions). Also, he was great friends with the late Christopher Reeves who went to school with him Julliard and that shouldn’t require too much explaining there.

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(Personal pain never stopped Robin from lampooning himself of course)

But the real death knell probably came at the end when months prior Robin’s suicide he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia Association and early stages of Parkinson’s disease. Now anyone being diagnosed with these conditions would be devastating by itself but if you frame it in the mind of Robin Williams, a man who’s comedy and charm relies almost entirely on spontaneous-ness, extreme attention to detail and constant joy this is like losing the very thing that made you who are, what people love you for; your core identity.

Robin was no longer going to be Robin.

I’m not asking people to like suicide or accept every instance of it but people should try to understand why and not judge others for it. Sometimes the demons are just too strong and we can’t fault others especially a mind as crippled as Robin’s was at the end.

If there’s one positive that came out of Robin’s suicide, it’s that the conversation on depression and mental health has notably shifted since that time. In the years since, it’s more acceptable now to feel sad no matter what your background is; you didn’t need to be a coal miner with black lung or a soldier with PSTD to be acceptably depressed anymore (and no, before any of you start I’m not judging those people). Athletes and celebrities alike such as Demar Derozan, Ryan Reynolds, Serena Williams, and Chris Evans have all come out about their own personal struggles with their inner demons. It’s now okay more than ever to feel inadequate even if on paper you have ever reason not to feel that way.

Though society hasn’t become completely understanding of mental health issues yet society is still a lot more open about it than it was before at least. It’s not a silver lining, don’t make that mistake with what I’m saying, but it’s comforting in a strange way knowing that even in death Robin can inspire positivity.

It’s a shame and tragic that Robin didn’t get age gracefully into his twilight years and given the current state of the country and the world as a whole we could definitely use that trademark wit to lampoon our reality right now but I’m glad that Robin helped keep me going in my most formative years.

(I mean seriously though, could you imagine Robin getting a crack at this motherfucker today on stage?)

It’s not hyperbole to call Robin Williams one of the greatest entertainers of all-time and though his time in this world was cut short by his own hand he has still left an indelible mark on myself, his fans and the rest of the world. Depression and mental health is a fact of life, generally speaking all of us will struggle with it at some point but if we can get help early and not be afraid to ask for it or even cry for it then maybe the world won’t feel so dark for us all.

So please, let’s all remember to take care of ourselves whether that’s seeking friends or professional guidance. There is strength in sadness, power in grief and love when you are lonely. You owe it to yourself to seek help and trust me, there’ll be arms open to bring you in.

Because you matter.

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Thanks, Captain.

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42wallaby-way-sydney · 5 years

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The OCs: Nika Belova-Romanoff

Full Name: Veronika Belova-Romanoff

Nicknames: Nika (by most everyone), Veruchka (often from her moms and grandma Dottie), Nika-Paprika (from Auntie Wanda), Zolotse (from Vasya when they dated), and Amore (from Raphael when they begin dating). Ronnie (on the rare occasion by Francis).

Emojis: 🇧🇾🍟🦎🎤🏒

Birthday: October 6th

Place of Birth: Brest, Belarus and put up for adoption three days after being born and adopted when she was eight months old.

Sexuality: Bisexual

Misc:

- She was the result of a one night stand and her mother wasn’t with the man anymore and couldn’t handle taking care of a baby. The only reason her mother didn’t get an abortion like she wanted was because her elder sister begged and pleaded for her to at least put the baby up for adoption.

- Her favorite fairy tale is The Scarlet Flower with Tsarevna Swan as a close second. Her favorite Disney Princess is Aurora because, “I love naps just like ‘Rora!”

- When she was two Yelena almost drugged her with nyquil to make her sleep. Lucky for Nika, Natasha came home right in time.

- When she was four she tried to make her moms breakfast in bed for Mother’s Day and brought them a plate full of crumbled poptarts with a candle stuck in the middle. Natasha and Yelena loved it.

- Her comfort foods are chicken nuggets from McDonald’s, Hershey kisses, and hot chocolate with tons of marshmallows.

- Because her last name is ‘Romanoff’, in Kindergarten, first, and second grade her teachers kept calling her ‘Anastasia’. She would just ignore them and not answer them, look them dead in the eye and glare and refuse to speak because that is not her name, Nika is much easier to remember and say than Anastasia is.

- She begins playing hockey when she’s seven and is on the same team as Jack and Peyton. She thinks ballet is boring but won’t tell her moms that’s why she doesn’t want to do it.

When she was dating Vasilisa she went to one of Vasya’s recitals and it took all of her willpower not to fall asleep

- Nika, just like Yelena, is sometimes unintentionally creepy.

She’ll sometimes forget to tell anyone that she’s going to go home and change and just disappear only to return forty-five minutes later in a completely different outfit and slurping a slushie.

She once went outside and came back half an hour later covered in red liquid that looked suspiciously like blood but just waved off the concern with, “Oh it’s nothing. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

- Her best friends are Jack, Vasya, and Francis.

She sometimes sings for Rikki’s band, The Nomads, with Rikki, Jack, Francis, Ian, and Richard.

- Liho and Strelka curl up with Nika when she’s taking naps or just sleeping in general.

She’ll be doing her homework when all of a sudden a wild Liho hops into her lap. She’ll be getting dressed and reach for her pants when a wild Strelka begins rolling on her jeans.

- As children, Nika is taller than Vasya by just a few inches but by the time they’re in highschool, Vasya is a good two inches taller.

- Natasha is ‘mama’ and Yelena is ‘mommy’

She’s called Yelena her ‘Kind vodka mom’ at least once. When she yells “Mom!” both Natasha and Yelena answer her.

- Natasha keeps every single one of Nika’s jerseys from the time she’s seven until she graduates high school.

The jersey from her senior year, Natasha and Yelena frame it in a shadowbox. Her team had won and everyone got a medal. Said medal, a picture of Nika, and the jersey were all in the shadowbox.

- Nika’s favorite name to call people is ‘douche nugget’

- She has a very overactive imagination.

She was once bit by a pony at Clint’s farm when she was eight and laid in the grass and whispered to herself and Vasya, “I have been chosen. I am to defend the world as a were-pony. I accept this as my fate.”

Everyone is used to her theatrics.

- Yelena once gave Nika and Natasha both food poisoning because she can’t cook. It was the worst day of Nika’s young life and she swears off of Yelena’s cooking forevermore.

- When Nika and Vasya were dating, many of their dates involved going to the ice rink where they tried to show off to each other.

-Nika’s favorite flowers are sunflowers.

- Her favorite cartoon is Power Puff Girls.

Buttercup is her favorite.

- She has a doll from when she was a kid that she tried to name after Aurora but the name ‘Rora stuck.

She cried on the first day of kindergarten because she left ‘Rora at home and Natasha and Yelena had to bring her her doll.

- She’s that person that says they can’t sing but sings like an angel.

When she was in her senior year, they did Hamilton as the musical for the year and she was the best Maria Reynolds.

- Her favorite time of the year is summer because she loves to go swimming.

- When Ian tries to ask her out, she nearly decks him in the face.

- Yelena and Natasha take Nika to Russia for Christmas one year.

- She tries to steal Redwing (the bird not the drone) from her Uncle Sam because she was convinced if she kissed Redwing, Redwing would turn into a prince. Anytime she comes over the first thing she does is pet Redwing, feeds him snacks, tries to lure him into her backpack.

When she was little she would try to stick her fingers into his cage to pet him. Sam would hurriedly stop her.

“Woah there baby girl! He may bite you!” “Birdy tweet tweet!” “No, honey. Falcon caw caw.”

- When she’s six, she gets Darla, Rikki, Jack, and Vasya to try and help her steal Redwing. Sasha stops them only because he doesn’t want his mama bird Sam to be sad.

Falcons are her favorite type of bird and her Uncle Clint is so betrayed while her Uncle Sam just beams with pride.

Natasha is d o n e. She hates birds. When Nika says that Uncle Sam is teaching her falconry, Natasha sighs and mutters, “God damn it Sam.”

- Nika and Vasya can talk about birds for hours, but Nika only really loves falcons the most.

- Falconry is her favorite hobby.

Yelena ran into the living room the first day that Nika said she was doing falconry and yelled, “I’m coming with you!” Natasha just looked at her, completely unamused. “For supervision and shit. Shut up, lisichka.”

- When she’s five, Vladimir and Yelena accidentally and Vasya up at the grocery store by grabbing the other’s buggies and since they hadn’t seen each other in nearly three years, Vladimir didn’t recognize Nika and began panicking because he misplaced his daughter.

He ended up accidentally dyeing her hair blue. When Yelena sees she begins internally screaming but calmly, “Natasha is not going to be very pleased.”

Vasya is so jealous of Nika’s mermaid hair that Vladimir sighs and dyes her hair as well.Matt and Natasha were not very pleased.

- She loves hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and dozens of mini marshmallows. It makes her think of Christmas.

Natasha, Yelena, and Nika, for Christmas they curl up with their hot cocoa and watch The Nutcracker. It’s one of Nika’s favorite parts of the year.

- When she and Raphael move in together she gets two pet geckos and names them Phillip and Aurora only to find out that Phillip is going to have baby geckos.

Raphael screams when he finds a gecko in his coffee mug one day and she laughs at him for a solid ten minutes.

She has three pet parakeets along with the two geckos.

They break up after four years because she catches him cheating on her. Vasya offers to break his kneecaps but Nika tells her that won’t be necessary. Michael tells his brother that he may want to take a vacation to Italy for a while for his safety.

- Her favorite time of the day is late afternoon because she’s out of school and it’s getting close to dinner time.

- Her favorite subjects are art in middle school but eventually it ends up being biology. She hates math, it makes her cry. Jack tries to tutor her at geometry.

- She loves animals even more than Jack does and becomes a vet.

Her least favorite class in college ends up being math of all sorts and nutrition because all she can think about in nutrition is how many chicken nuggets she’d much rather be eating than sitting in that boring class.

- When she and Francis get together he loves all of her pets. It’s not all that different than when he’d stay on his dad’s farm after all.

6 Songs that she probably has on her phone/fit her well:

Shoutout to My Ex by Little Mix

She’s A Genius by Jet

Gravel to Temp by Hayley Kiyoko

Get On Your Knees by Nicki Minaj

We Are The Heroes by Litesound

Sokol by Nadezhda Misyakova

#the ocs #my writing #my edit #the ocs aesthetic #the ocs bio #bio #domestic au #veronika belova romanoff #the ocs playlist #music

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

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OK, August 31

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Bindi Irwin’s baby surprise -- twins

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s make-or-break vacation with their kids to the Dominican Republic -- Kim and Kanye may have saved their crumbling relationship

Page 6: Amber Heard and ex-husband Johnny Depp’s nasty courtroom bombshells made headlines across the globe but now that the case has wrapped up the actress is ready to move forward

Page 7: After temporarily living in a few of their friends’ properties Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have finally purchased a home of their own which is a jaw-dropping $14.7 million estate in the ritzy Santa Barbara enclave of Montecito and they intend to make this their forever home, Cameron Diaz confessed she felt at peace with her decision to ditch the Hollywood scene in favor of motherhood but that lifestyle change came a shake-up in her social circle because Cameron can’t be bothered with people she sees as superficial, Paris Jackson’s inner circle is concerned about her mental health in the wake of her sudden split from beau of two years Gabriel Glenn because she’s already such a fragile character so a ton of people worry she won’t be able to cope without Gabriel by her side

Page 8: After a few tough years Lisa Marie Presley is ready to leave L.A. and head to Graceland because she’s convinced that being close to her dad Elvis Presley’s spirit is the best shot she has at getting her life back on track, January Jones is known for keeping her personal life private she’s recently turned over a new leaf and is ready to spill her best-kept secrets in a juicy memoir but the name of the father of her son Xander probably won’t make it into the book, though Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have been best buds for decades Ben’s girlfriend Ana de Armas has no interest in getting to know Matt’s wife Luciana Barroso -- the guys hoped they’d hit it off but Luciana thinks Ana is an opportunist and Ana snipes that Luciana is stuck up

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars reign supreme in purple -- Keke Palmer, Karlie Kloss

Page 11: Tracee Ellis Ross, Carrie Underwood

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Diane Kruger vs. Cindy Bruna, Padma Lakshmi vs. Katharine McPhee Foster

Page 14: News in Photos -- Kylie Jenner in L.A. on her birthday

Page 15: Pierce Brosnan and son Paris on the golf course, Joy Bauer after taking a yoga class, Kate Hudson showed off her green juice, Serena Williams while dressing up in princess costumes with daughter Alexis

Page 16: Drab to Fab -- dropping the extra weight gave these celebs a boost of confidence -- Adele, Ben Affleck, Kelly Osbourne

Page 18: Sarah Hyland and Wells Adams on the day they were supposed to get married, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade and daughter Kaavia, Reese Witherspoon and her affectionate dog Lou, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari riding bikes with masks on

Page 20: Alessandra Ambrosio played volleyball on the beach, Rita Ora lounging during a vacation in Ibiza

Page 21: Gordon Ramsay gave son Oscar a lift while exploring the coastline near their new home in Cornwall, David Beckham at the beach in Greece, RHONJ star Melissa Gorga tried on a swimsuit while taping promos for the Bravo reality show

Page 22: Mayim Bialik and her cat Addie promoting Royal Canin’s Take Your Cat to the Vet campaign, pro wrestler Ariane Andrew out and about in L.A., Mark Wahlberg and wife Rhea Durham during a family day at the lake

Page 24: Lynette Barbieri and Raffaela Pontecorvo and Vanessa Coppes and Jennifer DeCillis and Amanda Ringel at Bella Magazine’s eighth annual Hamptons Cover Lunch, Shia LaBeouf played it up for the cameras while on a jog, pregnant Katy Perry took a quick snooze while shopping for baby supplies

Page 25: Kevin Hart running errands in L.A., Kristen Taekman modeled a pair of overalls for her blog, Bachelor in Paradise alums Hannah Godwin and Dylan Barbour showed off their silly sides while shooting a video for Dr. Scholl’s

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Selena Gomez’s expansive estate -- check out the star’s plush new pad

Page 28: Chip and Joanna Gaines are no longer seeing eye to eye when it comes to their future -- Joanna isn’t thrilled about the revival of Fixer Upper and they’ve been bickering since Chip signed the deal

Page 29: Taylor Swift’s boyfriend Joe Alwyn will star alongside brunette beauty Emma Mackey in a biopic centered on Wuthering Heights author Emily Bronte and although filming won’t commence until next year Taylor is already sweating bullets -- she trusts Joe but this will be the first time in literally years they’ll have to be apart for a while and the idea of him spending all that time with someone as beautiful and charming as Emma has her anxious

Page 30: After nearly four years together Mariah Carey and Bryan Tanaka are ready to become husband and wife, Sacha Baron Cohen has been working nonstop since the lockdown started to lift leaving wife Isla Fisher to do all the heavy lifting at home with their three kids all under the age of 13, Love Bites -- Jennifer Garner and John Miller split, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger welcomed a baby girl, Duff Goldman and wife Johnna Colbry are expecting their first child

Page 32: Cover Story -- Bindi Irwin’s big surprise -- mom-to-be Bindi is pregnant with twins

Page 36: Close Calls -- these stars cheated death -- Jennifer Aniston, Antonio Banderas

Page 37: Rachel Bilson, Sharon Stone, Leonardo DiCaprio

Page 38: The Next Generation -- get to know the talented up-and-coming stars who are taking Hollywood by storm -- Joey King, Chase Stokes, Halle Bailey, Charles Melton

Page 39: Hayley Kiyoko, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Zendaya, Lucas Hedges

Page 40: Interview -- Keanu Reeves -- the veteran actor opens up about his reputation for being one of the sweetest stars around

Page 42: Beach Body Winners -- how these stunning stars stay in swimsuit shape -- Brooke Shields, Julianne Hough, Olivia Culpo

Page 43: Nina Agdal, Carrie Underwood, Jessie James Decker

Page 46: Style Week -- Swimsuits for All and Ashley Graham have collaborated once again on a supersexy collection of size-inclusive swimwear

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- elevate your look with products from these empowering female-owned beauty brands -- Tracee Ellis Ross, Amy Schumer is bringing a little humor to a serious topic in hopes of making period conversation as normal as periods

Page 49: Foot Notes -- fashionable footwear

Page 50: Say Anything -- make a bold statement in a cheeky graphic tee -- Yara Shahidi

Page 52: Beauty -- Chill Out -- beat the heat and humidity with these cooling beauty products -- Sofia Richie

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A -- Elizabeth Pipko

Page 58: Buzz -- just got paid -- Forbes reveals which actors earned the most money from June 2019 to June 2020 -- Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck, Vin Diesel

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Jason Sudeikis on being a father, Kelly Clarkson on daughter River, Ariana Grande on Lady Gaga accidentally scratching her face while rehearsing their Rain on Me music video, Ben Schwartz, Kate Hudson on what she tells herself when she’s stressed

Page 61: Tamera Mowry asked if she wanted a quarantine baby, Gwen Stefani correcting Dua Lipa who thought she was married to Blake Shelton, Simon Cowell after breaking his back in a cycling accident, Kate Bosworth on whether she’s willing to do a Blue Crush sequel, Bruno Mars on songwriting

Page 62: Horoscope -- Virgo LeAnn Rimes turned 38 on August 28

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Linda Cardellini

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backtothestart02 · 6 years

Text

If You Love Him, Tell Him | cynco fanfiction

A/N: My first real purely cynco fic, and boy what a doozy it is. I hope you enjoy though! Lots of angst with a happy ending. :)

Fun Fact: I pulled Cynthia being lactose intolerant from this post. (All other bg info about the Reynolds is from my own imagination.)

*There are not enough thanks in the world to give @valeriemperez for this piece. Truly a headache and hours worth of discussion in the post-edits stage. A miracle worker and a great friend. Thank you.

Synopsis: Post 4x20 - Canon Divergent - After an unexpectedly moving heart-to-heart with her father, Cynthia realizes it isn't change she's afraid of. It's love.

Tears still staining her cheeks long after Cisco was gone, Cynthia found her way to her private quarters and played a message that she knew was from her father, that she knew would be asking the same question he’d been asking for weeks.

“Is Ciscy gonna take the job or not?”

Her father was a little difficult to take seriously in his shorts, tropical shirt, and sandals. But the look on his face was always very sobering, so in part, she was glad the topic had come up on this last visit to Earth 1.

Last visit to Earth 1.

Her face fell further, and she leaned back in the chair she’d slunk into. She closed her eyes, tuning out her father’s voice.

Maybe it really would be.

She’d meant what she said to him. What they had, it was enough for her. A day in the life of Cynthia Reynolds was busy, hectic, but ultimately very fulfilling. She loved traveling to pick up her targets on the run. She loved being badass. She didn’t need a relationship to be happy. And for a long time, she’d insisted she didn’t even want one. But Cisco was nothing if not determined.

Once she gave in, there was no going back. At the same time, that only went so far. She didn’t have time for a relationship every day, and she didn’t want to cut back on her job in order to make one happen. The arrangement she’d had with Cisco allowed her to continue her schedule and take a vacation when she had a free moment. She spent every free moment with him – well, every free moment that wasn’t a good night’s sleep.

Vacation had come to mean quality time with Cisco. There were so many risks in changing the dynamic of their relationship. It wasn’t that she was opposed to more time with him. She loved spending time with him. It was just that their relationship felt perfect the way it was, and she wasn’t willing to risk that just because he wanted to see her every day. It worked fine for her. It worked great.

“-and Cynthia,” her father’s voice concluded, “I want you to come visit me in person.”

She lifted her head and raised an eyebrow. What?

“We can spend some quality time celebrating Ciscy-”

“Oh, my God, no,” she muttered, deleting the message before it could be completed.

She didn’t know what had happened to change her father’s mind about Cisco. He hadn’t liked him right from the start. He hasn’t liked any of your boyfriends, her inner voice reminded her. She ignored that. She allowed that there were moments where Cisco must’ve looked less than awful in his eyes, but to have him go from giving her extra assignments so she wouldn’t have time to see the object of her affection to offering him a job so they could spend every waking minute together, something major had to have happened.

Part of her was insatiably curious. The other part of her – the more logical part – told her loud and clear that it didn’t matter. She and Cisco were through. What did it matter if the two men most important to her for the past year were finally on good terms?

Excellent timing, guys, she thought, absolutely miserable.

She got up from her chair and walked out of the room. She had to get out of here. Work wasn’t a good distraction right now. Work reminded her about her conversations with Cisco in the past twenty-four hours and how they had decided to call it quits. She couldn’t remember the last time she had actually needed a distraction – aside from when her partner died a while back, but with Abra Kadabra put away, she felt closure on that.

She was numb now. She also had tears staining her cheeks. She didn’t really have friends she could talk to about this. She never let her walls down enough to get vulnerable with anyone. Except Cisco. And even with him not everything was stripped away.

She thought back to the previous fall and how it had seemed he was about to tell her he loved her. She was scared to death and then relieved that it was just about her name – something she could easily blow off. If her dad hadn’t showed up moments later, she would have likely thought again about what Cisco had almost said, or what he could have said, while they lay tangled in each other’s arms in the aftermath of steamy sex.

But that hadn’t happened. Instead what she had gotten was him shouting the woman that I love with tears in his own eyes as he saw her unwillingness to budge.

She wondered if she was a fool for letting him end things between them, even if it was for the best.

She sighed and opened a portal, immediately vibing herself to a new earth, someplace quiet and devoid of people. She needed some peace, some alone time, a place to think or maybe just to be. She needed –

The man in floral shirts contentedly humming to himself strolled passed her, blindsiding her completely.

“Dad?”

He stopped, grinned the wide-toothy grin she hadn’t seen from him in ages.

“Cynthia! You came to see me!”

Oh boy.

He walked over to her and stopped just short of giving her a hug. She wondered if he’d been able to see the tension in her. Then again, he’d never been much of a hugger.

“I…didn’t know you were here,” she said awkwardly.

“Nonsense! I told you!” He frowned abruptly. “I told you, didn’t I? I did tell you. I thought I did.” He stroked his chin as she slowly shook her head, apparently deep in thought.

She watched him, aware that she could just jump to another earth without him ever being the wiser. He might even convince himself he’d imagined his daughter appearing unexpectedly beforehand. But something about their close vicinity made her stand still.

“Ciscy! Of course!” He declared, a grin on his face.

Oh no.

“You came to tell me about Ciscy.” He returned to her. “Will he take the job? I really don’t want to have to look for another replacement.”

“I talked to him,” she said carefully.

“And?” His eyes were filled with hope. It almost disgusted her.

She couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so delighted by any prospect, let alone one involving a guy she was dating – had been dating; an ex.

“He said no.”

He frowned. “No?”

The outrage she was so used to spilling out of him started to surface. She almost smiled.

“He doesn’t want the job, Dad. He just wants…” Say a lie. Say a lie.

“What?” He barked. “What does he want?”

Her tongue betrayed her.

“Me,” she said softly.

Breacher was unaware of the rare tone from her. Instead, he scoffed.

“But he’d have you! Loads more of you if you two would just work together!”

“I don’t want him to take the job!” she snapped, successfully surprising him into silence.

“What?” he asked, unsure if he’d heard her right.

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dad, I like things the way they are. I’m sorry you had to resign-”

“Don’t be,” he cut her off, spreading his arm wide to showcase the long expanse of beach they were standing on. “I love it here.”

She forced a smile. “Right. Well, I’m sorry you had to find a replacement, but neither Cisco or I want him to take the job, so you’ll just have to find someone else.”

His eyebrows narrowed, finally picking up on some of the tense vibes she was giving off.

“Is everything all right, Cynthia?”

She stilled, going wide-eyed, and then reining herself in, so her dad didn’t figure out more than he already had.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’re acting weird,” he said in that all-knowing voice of his.

“Dad-”

“Is there another reason Ciscy didn’t want the job?”

Relieved she shook her head. “Not that I know of.”

“Did you talk about it a lot?”

“Enough.”

“Cynthia-” he warned.

“Enough!” Her pitch heightened, her voice cracked, and tears welled in her eyes without her permission. “Dad, can you just…”

She avoided eye contact for a few excruciating seconds before she witnessed a raging red starting to fill the color in her dad’s face.

“Dad…”

“Did he break your heart?” he demanded.

“Wha-”

“If he broke your heart, I’m gonna… And after I offered him a job too.”

He started stomping off before opening a breach, presumably to depart and give Cisco a piece of his mind. At all costs, she needed to avoid that. She was hurting, but so was Cisco. He didn’t deserve her father coming after him, especially when he had done nothing wrong and the man had finally stopped trying to kill him, had finally considered Cisco worthy of his daughter.

Her heart ached when she thought of that.

“Dad, no, stop!” She raced ahead of him and cut off the breach before he could enter it.

“What?” he growled. “No little boy gets away with hurting my little girl. I can’t believe I thought for one second that-”

“Dad.”

He huffed. “What?”

She sighed. The man was exhausting.

“It was mutual.”

“Mutual?”

“We broke up with each other. I’m sad, but…so is he.”

He stroked his chin again. “Why did you break up? You guys are crazy about each other!”

Her shoulders slumped a little. “He wanted more.”

His brows furrowed. “More?”

“He wanted to see me more-”

He rolled his eyes, aggravated again as he started to gesture with his hands.

“But that’s why I offered him the job! I don’t understand why he didn’t-”

“He didn’t want the job, Dad! He just wanted me!”

“But you don’t want him?” he asked, genuinely confused.

She hated that. It meant she would have to explain her feelings, and she really hated explaining her feelings.

“I do want him. I just-” She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut for a few moments. “I don’t want things to change.”

“Why not?” He was suddenly jubilant. “Change can be good! Look at me! I’m on a beach! For the first time since you were a kid! And I couldn’t be happier.”

She opened her eyes. “That’s a little different.”

“How is it different? I was stubborn. I didn’t want to admit something was wrong with me. I wanted a quick solution to fix my problem, so I could keep doing what I was doing. Cisco tried to give that to me, so I wouldn’t kill him.” He chuckled, nostalgic for a moment; then he sobered up.

“But when he realized his mistake, he went after me. Saved me from vampires! And told me the truth. I was angry at first, but when I realized his fear was rooted in never being able to see you again, I respected him. How could I be mad at true love? He loves you, Cynthia.”

She swallowed and nodded. “I know.”

“Don’t you love him?”

“I…I…”

Her heart raced. She felt like she was going to throw up. The question was too hard – too hard – to answer.

“I haven’t-”

“You haven’t told him.”

She felt the heat rush into her cheeks. She had never known her father to be this observant, especially when it came to her romantic feelings about someone. And yet here he was, reading her as well as he read himself – when he wasn’t being a stubborn in-denial ass about his health at least.

“I hated your last boyfriend,” he said.

She rolled her eyes, annoyed.

“I didn’t like any of your boyfriends, actually.”

“I know.”

“I just think you’re so perfect, Cynthia.” She glanced up at him. “You’re my daughter. How could any man be worthy of you?”

“Dad-”

“But Cisco – he proved himself! More than once!”

“He shouldn’t have had to.”

“But he did.”

She was silent.

“I know the last man you love broke your heart,” he hedged cautiously.

“He was killed, Dad. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But you take responsibility for it. You blame yourself.” She looked away. “You shouldn’t.”

“I brought Abra Kadabra in,” she said, not looking at him until she’d wiped the fresh tears away. “Justice has been served. And I’m not…I’m not still in love with him.”

“I know you’re not. You’re in love with Cisco!”

She sighed again. “Dad-”

“You love him, and you’re afraid that if you’re around him too much eventually the same thing will happen to him.”

She didn’t deny it. The possibility had been eating at her. She just hadn’t looked it straight in the eyes long enough to admit it was true.

“If I went and lived on his earth…” she said quietly. “I couldn’t keep doing my job. I love my job.”

“Of course you could!” he insisted. “Just jump to our earth in the morning for your assignments, then do what you need to do and be home for supper, maybe even a surprise lunch. Think of how happy you’d make Cisco.”

Her heart did a flip inside her. It was hard to remember Cisco’s face with anything but tears streaming down it, given the events of the last twenty-four hours. But if she tried hard enough she could remember to months ago when they’d last been alone together under better circumstances. She brought a smile and confidence out of him that she didn’t see with anyone else. Granted she wasn’t usually on his earth long enough to see how he reacted solely with other people, but still…

“I can’t risk it, Dad,” she said firmly. “I’m sorry.”

She turned to walk away.

“Do you know that’s why your mother left me?”

She turned around, her mouth suddenly dry. He never talked about her mother.

“It is. She loved me so much. She loved you so much. And I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t understand how someone as amazing and beautiful and smart as your mother could possibly love me. I came from nothing.”

She swallowed hard.

“They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Because that’s when you learn what it’s like to live with each other every day and if you can stand it. I convinced myself she wouldn’t still love me after we lived together, so I made myself more difficult than I had to be. She was so loyal, but I became unbearable. And to top it off, I worked as much as I could. I wasn’t a good father to you when you were younger. That’s why.”

“Dad-”

“Eventually I pushed her too hard. She was exhausted from trying for so long when I never met her halfway. She told me she was going to leave, and she was going to take her with you, and you know at first I was going to let her.”

Her eyes bulged, afraid where this was going.

“But less than five minutes after she left to go pick you up from school and take you out of my life for good, I realized what a fool I’d been, how many years I’d wasted that I could have been happy if I’d just let her love me.” He took a breath. “So, I went after her. But I wasn’t fast enough. She got into a car crash on her way to get you, died at the scene.”

She couldn’t speak. Her throat felt like it was closing in on her, and her eyes were so filled with burning tears she couldn’t see out of them.

He approached her.

“I’m not telling you this to hurt you, Cynthia. I’m telling you so you don’t make the same mistake I made. After your mom died…I stepped up as a father as best as I could, for her and for you, to make her proud. I still wasn’t great at it, but look how great you are at what you do, what a fiery spirit you have, and you’re beautiful, just like your mother.”

“Dad.” Her breath caught in her throat.

He closed the final distance between them and closed his hands around her arms.

“I know Cisco loves you. I can see it when he talks about you, when you’re even mentioned. I know he would take good care of you too – not that you need taking care of,” he added when he saw a touch of offense in her eyes. “But if you wanted to be taken care of sometimes, I know he could do it. Don’t let what happened in your past and my past keep you from being happy. You can still do your job, and you can be with who you love. And if it doesn’t work out, you can come live with me!”

She scoffed, but there was some subtle laughter in it.

“Will you talk to him?” he asked gently, then waited.

The prospect seemed impossible. She didn’t want to risk anything. She was so scared of wanting what Cisco wanted with her, because what if it didn’t work out? To experience a loss again the way she had with her mother and the man she’d loved before Cisco… She didn’t know if she could come back from that.

“There’s nothing left to say,” she said quietly.

He tipped her chin up to look at him.

“I think there is.”

She tried to will herself not to cry, but the tears tumbled out despite all her best efforts.

“You love him.”

Her lips parted.

“Then tell him.”

“What good will it do? It won’t change anything.”

“Cynthia,” he scolded gently.

“You think I should move there with him. I should take a risk? Try to make it work even though it scares the hell out of me?” She couldn’t remember if she’d ever been this raw and honest with her father, but the question escaped her, and she needed an answer.

“Love is scary,” he said. “But it’s also beautiful and magical, and we need it.”

“What if he doesn’t take me back?” she asked, various scenarios of rejection speeding through her mind and plummeting any confidence she thought might be building.

“I don’t think that will happen.”

She couldn’t smile back. She could barely nod, but after some brief hesitation, she pressed a quick peck to her father’s cheek and then stepped out of range.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

He was saying something after she disappeared into the portal, but she couldn’t make it out. Her mind was racing, and her heart was pounding, and all she could think was Oh, God, please don’t let it be too late.

…

It occurred to Cynthia belatedly that she hadn’t been many places on Earth 1. Or at least, she hadn’t been many places that Cisco frequented. She’d been to STAR Labs, and she’d been to his apartment. Then whenever help was needed out in the field she was summoned there. Lucky for her, she seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Cisco Ramon. She thought of Earth 1, and she thought of Cisco, and the breach opened in Cisco’s living room.

Grateful he was alone, but tense as to how she’d get through this conversation with a happy ending at the end of it, she watched as he stilled in front of his refrigerator.

He was dressed in dark t-shirt and pajama pants. It had only been a few hours since their break-up. She hoped she hadn’t been responsible for driving him to this and that he’d just wanted to relax when he got home. She felt a knife twist in her stomach, since she suspected the latter wasn’t the case

“Cynthia?” he asked, probably wondering if she was some sort of dream.

“Hi, Cisco,” she said cautiously, shifting on her feet a little but not stepping in any direction.

It was a long, quiet moment that nearly drove her mad, but eventually he pulled a half-gallon of milk out of the fridge and then closed the door. Her eyes zeroed in on it and she held in a sigh. If I don’t win him back, at least he can drink milk without my lactose intolerance getting in the way.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” he said, setting the container on the counter deliberately, and she knew he’d been thinking the exact same thing. “Not for a personal call at least, and definitely not this soon.”

She looked away and nodded, her gaze suddenly glued to the floor.

“Yeah…”

He focused his attention of retrieving a cup, pouring himself some milk, and sticking the container back in the fridge.

He came to sit on the couch.

“What can I help you with?” he asked, not sounding uncaring but not particularly interested or invested either.

She took a breath and came to sit on the opposite side of the couch.

“Look, Cisco, here’s the thing…”

He looked up at her, waiting, cup of milk hovering just before his lips. When she seemed to have lost the capability to speak, he took a sip, wiped his mouth, and then set the cup down.

“What?”

She swallowed hard.

“About…earlier…”

“Yeah?” He folded his arms across his chest.

“How are you doing?” she asked, practically wincing through the whole question.

It wasn’t a good tactic, and she knew it. She could see him mentally telling himself not to lash out.

“How am I doing,” he repeated through clenched teeth. “H-How…how do you think I’m doing?” he asked, looking up at her, eyes blazing. “I…I lost the love of my life.”

Her heart did a flip and stung miserably at the same time.

He ran a hand through his hair and sank back onto the arm of the couch behind him.

“How do you think I’m doing?” He threw his hands about. “And what is this? A sympathy call? I don’t need your pity. It’s over. Done. There’s nothing left to say.”

He snatched the cup from the table and stalked across the room. He braced his hand on the fridge and drank greedily, needing to create some distance but stuffing something in his mouth so he wouldn’t say anything else he’d regret.

“Nothing?” she asked, her voice so small.

This was a bad idea, Cynthia. You should not have come here. He doesn’t want to see you. You broke his heart. He doesn’t want to see or talk to you ever again.

The loud sigh broke through her internal berating.

“What did you come to say, Cynthia?”

A part of her wondered if he was tormenting her by calling her by her formal name when she’d repeatedly informed him she preferred the nickname, Gypsy, instead. But she knew that wasn’t the case. When things were raw and real between them, nicknames had no place. And her full first name sounded so good passing through his lips that she was almost tempted to ask him to call her that all the time. Maybe create a nickname that was similar but not so long off the tongue.

If there was an ‘all the time’ after this, of course.

“I didn’t come to pity you, Cisco,” she said, standing up.

“No?” He raised his eyebrows dubiously. “Then what? Do you need help with something on your earth?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

His tone was starting to irritate her.

“You know, I was hurt too. It wasn’t just you crying when we last saw each other, or did you conveniently forget that part?” she spat.

He tossed the plastic cup into the sink roughly.

“I didn’t forget. Did you forget why we broke up in the first place?” He started stalking towards her angrily.

“No,” she ground out.

“Then why are you here? Don’t tell me you had a change of heart.”

The sarcasm laced through her, burning every vulnerable word that would have spilled out of her mouth. It was seething and mean and maybe she deserved it, but it was killing the little confidence she had bit by bit. Soon she’d have nothing left except to spew some cruel remarks of her own and go on her way, cry a little when she got home. Maybe throw something. Definitely be tempted to snatch someone up just for the hell of it and then release them later because after all, they probably wouldn’t have done anything wrong.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out.

Her insides were screaming at her to tell him, but her racing heart insisted that the way he was now, he’d never believe her. Maybe he’d insist their break-up had been for the best. She couldn’t bear rejection now, even though she’d given it to him countless times before.

Something in his demeanor softened, but it was clear he was trying to hide it. Now he was the one keeping his guard up.

“Did you have a change of heart?” he asked hesitantly, quietly, not making eye contact.

She knew that was her opening. If she didn’t give the right answer now, he might get angry again. She might never have an opportunity to say what she wanted and for him to be willing to listen and believe it.

So, she nodded subtly.

He seemed to register the movement, even without looking at her, because he flinched and then stared at her straight-on.

“You did?” The disbelief in his voice was clear.

Relief rushed through her.

“Yeah, I… I talked to my dad.”

He stiffened.

She laughed wryly.

“He really likes you now, Cisco.”

His lips twitched at the corners.

“I do have that effect on people.” She glanced up at him. “Usually. Sometimes.” He paused. “In most cases.”

Silence lingered. She took a breath.

“Look, Cisco, I was scared.” He watched her closely, not saying a word. “The truth is…I do want what you want. I want all of it. But…” She licked her lips. “The last guy I was with…he died. He was murdered. And despite getting justice by bringing Abra in…he’s still dead… And I guess I just…”

“You felt responsible.”

“Yeah.” She sighed shakily. “And I lost my mom when I was really young. She died in a car accident.”

“Oh, Cynthia, I’m so sorry.”

She nodded. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago. My dad told me the full story today. I think he hurt from the whole thing more than I did. And not just because he loved her, but because he wouldn’t let her love him until it was too late, and then…” she trailed off, then fixed her eyes on his.

“I…I love you, Cisco.”

His eyes widened.

“I have for a while, but I was terrified to say it, of what it would mean. I didn’t want to get too close to you, spend too much time with you…I found reasons to not visit, because I was so over my head in love with you that I was afraid if something happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to recover, and I-”

But she didn’t get to finish her speech. Because Cisco had invaded her personal space, cupped her face in his hands, and was kissing her, soft and gentle, reaffirming, wiping the tears already tracking down her cheeks.

Startled, but not disappointed, she kissed him back and then cupped his face as well.

“I love you, too,” he said, causing a slow smile to spread across her face. He pulled back, pushing strands of her hair out of her face.

“I know.”

“I want to be with you,” he said, “but I can’t do the couple visits a year thing. I’m ready to go all the way with you, but it’s not going to work if you aren’t too. I can be patient and reassuring and take things slow. You can even get your own place here for a while, but-”

She cut him off this time, kissing him, somehow crowding closer.

“Yes,” she said. “There’s no one else I’d ever want to try that with.”

He licked his lips and started to smile too.

“You know, not to scare you off or anything, but the first time you kissed me, I swore I was going to marry you one day.”

“Cisco,” she warned.

“I know, I know,” he laughed it off. “I’m just telling you. It isn’t like I picked out a ring or anything.”

Yet was so clearly the unspoken message she wanted to scream, but underneath all her fear and apprehension it made her giddy.

She sighed and brushed her hand along the side of his face.

“Cisco…”

He kissed her again, his own heart doing flips.

“So, you’re really doing this? You’re moving here? To be with me? What about your job?”

She rolled her eyes, smiling.

“I can breach to other earths, Cisco. It’ll be easy enough to get my assignments in the morning, carry them out throughout the day, and come home to you when I’m done.”

His sappy grin was her undoing, and she knew she had stars in her eyes.

“Home to me,” he said happily. “I like the sound of that.”

Not even bothering to think up a proper snappy comeback to tease him with, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him again and again and again.

“Do you like the sound of tha-” he asked, mid-kiss.

“Shut up.” She tried to kiss him again.

“But do yo-”

“You know I do,” she said, and pulled his mouth to hers so she could silence him. “Now shut up, you ass.”

He smiled against her lips, but did as she requested, falling down onto the couch with her and succumbing to the happiness flooding through both of them.

“A cute ass,” he murmured, to which she laughed. “Admit it, I have the cutest-”

“The cutest ass I ever saw,” she confirmed to appease him. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

He was still grinning, which made it hard to kiss, but he did as he was told, and she lost herself in it, in him.

This is worth the risk, she thought. It’s worth coming back. It’s worth everything.

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

#cynco #fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #cisco x cynthia #if you love him tell him #make up fic #post 420

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