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sunrisefairy · 3 years

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Annoying

Paring: Remus Lupin x fem!reader Warning: NSFW! MDNI 18+ unprotected sex, swearing, mentions of oral sex. If I’ve forgotten anything let me know! Summary: Remus finds the reader so annoyingly distracting. A/N: for the anon that wanted a mix of enemies to lovers and Remus losing control near the full moon. I hope I did it justice. Requests are open!

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Remus Lupin isn’t one to hate people, sure there is only a select few people that he actually likes spending time with and considers his good friends but that doesn’t mean that he dislikes everyone else, he just doesn’t have time for a lot of people, especially annoying people. And some people are just more annoying than others and most times those people don’t even realise they’re acting as such. Except for the girl who is basically in every one of his classes, you. Remus is certain you know how infuriating you are, especially when you shoot your hand up to beat Remus to answering a question or how a smile will stretch across your pretty lips when you finds out you scored higher than Remus on a test or how you always seems to giggle a little louder when you knows Remus is nearby. Remus finds it irritating how you seems to know exactly how to get on his nerves, you know precisely how to make his cheeks heat up in anger and make his blood boil and his cock hard, okay maybe you don’t realise you’re doing the last one but still. But the thing that annoys Remus the most is you don’t seem to care.

Being friends with James Potter and Sirius Black, Remus has learnt to obtain the patience of a saint. He finds no trouble in zoning out their constant chatter and ignoring their mindless bickering. However, as it gets closer to a full moon, Remus’ tolerance wears thin and the marauders quickly learnt to simmer down and be wary of Remus around a full moon, unless either one of them wanted a smack to the back of the head. As it gets closer to his transformations Remus’ senses are heightened tenfold, it’s as if he can hear every sound, smell every scent and everything he tastes is 10 times more intense.

His joints were aching more than usual last night so that combined with Peters constant snoring ensured minimal sleep which resulted in Remus being extra irritable today which would have been manageable if he didn’t have a class first thing with you. Beautiful, cute, annoying you.

Remus thought if he could just spend the lesson concentrating hard enough on the professors dull voice that you sitting in the same room as him wouldn’t be an issue, it wasn’t like he sat next to you anyway, James or Sirius always occupied the desk next to him eager to ‘share’ his notes. Expect this day was different, because Remus got little sleep last night he slept through his alarm and somehow even slept through the booming voices of the Marauders when they were getting ready this morning. Remus started off the day jumping out of bed and rushing to get ready, having no time for breakfast (which added to his already foul mood) and practically falling through the classroom door only to find his usual seat was pre-occupied by some girl Sirius was trying to woo and James was sitting next to Pete.

“Ah, Mr. Lupin. How fantastic to see you have finally decided to join us. Please find a seat so I can continue on with my lesson,” the Professor states before continuing his lifeless lesson.

Remus quickly scans the room for a free chair to rush to, he spots one in the far corner of the room but falters in his step when he notices who is seated next to the free space, you. Remus groans when he realises this was the only free chair and very obviously drags his feet before plopping down beside you, he can only hope you decided to not be annoyingly distracting today.

“How scandalous that Mr. prefect is late to class,” you whisper, chuckling when you see Remus roll his eyes, a usual reaction of his.

Remus comes to the conclusion that the best point of action is to just pretend you don’t exist, which goes according to plan until 3 quarters of the way through the lesson. The thing is, Remus hasn’t sat in such close proximity to you this close to a full moon before and he’s struggling to keep his focus on the jumble of words in front of him and not on the way you’re obnoxiously twirling your hair between your fingers. Whatever perfume you sprayed on yourself is suffocating Remus’ nostrils and he can’t get enough. Within no time Remus thoughts are straying away from his textbook to more filthy thoughts surrounding you. The main image that is burning a hole in his brain is the thought of burying his face in your neck and inhaling your scent and sinking his teeth into your perfect skin, he has to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning.

Remus manages to write 2 more messy sentences down before glancing in your direction and noticing the way your lip is pulled between your teeth and he can’t help but fantasise about biting your annoyingly pretty lips himself.

“Stop doing that,” Remus grits through his teeth as he speaks.

You meet his gaze confused, “stop doing what?”

“That!” Remus whisper yells, pointing at your lips as you once again pull your bottom lip in between your lip. “It’s distracting.”

You mumble an apology and go back to writing your notes. You’re so engrossed in reading the selected chapter you don’t even notice you’re bouncing your leg up and down rapidly until a rough hand stills your movements. You’re expecting Remus to remove his large hand once your movements stop, however to your surprise he keeps his hand resting firmly against your bare knee. Mouth agape and staring down at where Remus is touching you, the way his thumb is stroking at your skin seems innocent enough, so why is your stomach in knots?

Remus leans dangerously close to your ear, which thankfully goes unnoticed by the rest of the class given the fact the two of you are seated at the back of the room. “You are being very distracting right now bunny, it’s making me angry.”

A visible shudder runs through your body, feeling Remus’ hot breath fanning the side of your face makes your mouth dry. Remus’ low teasing voice makes you whimper immediately a heat rushes up your cheeks because even though your whimper was quiet Remus is so very close to you right now, you know he heard.

“Come with me,” Remus squeezes your knee and moves to rise from his seat.

You halt his movements by grabbing onto his bicep, “we can’t just leave, we’re in the middle of class.” Your eyes dart to the front of the room to see if your professor has witnessed Remus’ half standing and planning his escape.

“What’s life without a bit of risk bunny, now c’mon.” his tone demanding and firm. Without even a second glance Remus walks out of class, making you wonder if he’s done this before. The odds are high, given that he’s one fourth of the infamous marauders clan.

You look away from the door Remus just so carelessly walked out of and to the front of the class at your professor, he’s sitting at his desk reading over papers and very obviously trying to stay awake. The chances of him catching you are slim but that isn’t what you’re nervous about. You’re nervous about what will happen if you do make it out of the classroom unnoticed, you’re nervous about what Remus will do to you. The endless possibilities are both thrilling and exciting. There’s no way you could stay seated not when there’s a wetness pooling in your panties just from Remus’ hand on your knee.

Carefully you slip out from your seat and rush to the door, breathing a sigh of relief when you successfully make it out into the corridor. Looking around you notice the corridor is empty and there’s no sign of Remus, you begin walking down the hallway in search of the boy.

“Remus?” you’re met with nothing but silence. Just as you’re about to turn and head back to class you feel a strong arm grip yours and tug your harshly into a tiny room.

“Ooft,” your body slamming into someone’s hard chest; if only there was a light source in this closet? yes it’s definitely a closet, if only it wasn’t so dark in here you would be able to figure out who decided it a good idea to scare the shit out of you by pulling you in here with them.

“Took your fucking time,” the other person grunts, Remus you thought, you knew that voice.

“Remus, what the hell? Care to explain why your dragged me out of class and into this dark broom closet?” Although there is no light in the tiny closet you can vaguely see Remus’ outline towering over you, you gulp realising how close the both of you are standing to each other. Remus’ hot breath fans your face and you’re very aware that if you were to angle your head further upwards and stand on your tiptoes you could connects your lips. The thought itself has you shuddering.

“Couldn’t wait.” Remus replies, stepping closer, invading your personal space even more, not that you minded.

“Couldn’t wait for what?”

“Merlin you’re dumber than I thought if you don’t know.”

You scoff defensively, “I am not dumb, do I have to remind you I bet you on the last Charms essay? and on the transfigurations one so-”

The words die in your throat, Remus cutting you off by connecting your lips in a needy and desperate kiss. Immediately you wrap your arms around his neck and tug him closer by the hair. Remus rests his hands on your waist pulling your hips flush against his, you whimper feeling his hard cock pressing against your stomach.

Remus breaks away from your mouth and starts sucking and licking down your jaw and neck while his hands move to grope at your breasts over the top of your school shirt. “We don’t have much time before class ends.” Remus mumbles into your skin, his mouth is salivating when he breathes in deep, his nostrils filling with the sweet scent of you, it’s so intoxicating and immediately images of you are accompanying his mind, some more sinful than others. Remus wastes no time in sinking his teeth into the fleshy part of your shoulder, his cock twitching at the sound you make.

“Then you better hurry up and fuck me Remus,” you smirk, loving the way Remus groans and narrows his eyes at you. His pupils have seemingly expanded and darkened, his eyes are scanning over every inch of your face leaving you feeling vulnerable.

Your pussy has been throbbing since Remus firmly rested his hand on your leg back in the classroom and you know your panties are soaked by now with the way Remus is rutting his hips against yours but it’s not enough. It won’t be enough, not until you know what it’s like to have Remus’ skin against yours and his cock inside you but even then, you think you will always be wanting more of him.

Your hands are fumbling at Remus’ pants trying to get them unbuckled as quickly as possible, Remus understands the rush and helps you, skilfully undoing his pants and pushing them along with his boxers down his legs with only one hand, the other creeps under your shirt and rests delicately on the small of your back. Just the feeling of Remus’ skin on your back makes you melt further into him, your desire to have him fuck you hard and fast is becoming unbearable. Remus’ cock is sitting hard and angrily between your bodies, desperate for any sort of attention and Remus wishes you had more time because he would love to push you down to your knees and finally force you to shut up by pushing his cock into your sweet mouth and make you gag and choke around his length until you’re crying. But time isn’t on his side right now so instead Remus wraps his strong arms around your arse, silently signally you to jump which you do with no hesitation and lock your legs around his waist.

Remus reaches his hand down to flip your skirt up, he be damned if he couldn’t see the cunt he’s spent way to much time thinking about. Remus pull your panties to the side groaning when his fingers graze your wet dripping core, another thing he wishes he could do is to taste you. He just knows you taste sugary and sweet just like the sounds you’re making as he teases your entrance. He wants to bury his face deep in your cunt inhaling your scent while he licks and sucks until you’re screaming his name, maybe another time.

“You gotta be quiet for me kay bunny? Think you can do that?” Remus’ voice is thick with lust and a condescending tone is laced throughout it.

“You think that highly of yourself?” you retort trying to rile Remus up like you normally do, it seems to be working judging by the way Remus pinches the flesh of your arse.

Without breaking eye contact Remus lines up his cock and drags your hips down until he’s deep inside you, his balls pressed flush against your skin.

Remus isn’t sure if it’s because it’s close to the full moon but he hasn’t even started moving yet and the way the soft velvet walls of your cunt is gripping and hugging at his cock feels so intense and heavenly, he thinks he might cum right there.

Along with a lack of patience around this time of the month Remus also struggles to control himself and his urges. It takes every ounce of self-discipline in him to hold you against the rough wall of the broom closet and slowly rock his hips into yours, feeling the need to control the situation. Remus is very conscious of not gripping your hips too hard and not slamming his hips up into yours too roughly, he doesn’t want to let go mentally and hurt you.

You can tell Remus is holding back, the authoritative tone used in the classroom is vastly different to his actions right now. He’s supposed to be fucking you hard and fast and making you scream, not this.

Although the pleasure from Remus’ rocking into your cunt is great you know he can do better, can fuck you better. “Remus,” you whine, pulling his face away from your neck, forcing him to look you in the eyes. There’s clearly an internal struggle behind his eyes. “Remus, I need you to fuck me properly. I can take it, you won’t break me, promise.”

Remus does pick up the speed slightly, but you can clearly tell there’s still some hesitance on his behalf and you asking nicely didn’t seem break that. You’re desperate for Remus to let go. A smirk breaks out onto your face, an idea forming. Based on your previous interactions you know exactly how to get under Remus’ skin, what to say and do that would have him clenching his jaw in annoyance, after all it was a hobby of yours, annoying Remus Lupin. “Guess we don’t have to worry about me being quiet if you fuck like this. Pity, was kinda hoping you’d have me screaming.”

Something deep and primal in him snaps, blame it on the full moon or how you’re silently challenging him, he doesn’t care, all he cares about right now is proving you wrong, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had you trembling and shaking.

His grip on your hips tighten, nails threatening to break skin as Remus pushes your further into the wall behind you so hard for a second you think you might go tumbling right through it. You’re grateful for the material of your school top slightly soften the rough texture of the wall behind you. With no warning Remus starts slamming his hips harder and faster into yours, clearly set on making you squirm against him. Each thrust is harder than the last and his cock is poking your g-spot repeatedly. The sounds you were making were positively indecent and only fuelled Remus on. Neither of you cared that anyone walking by the broom closet could possibly hear the sound of skin slapping together or yours and Remus’ moans. None of that mattered, not when the two of you felt this good.

The vigour of Remus’ pace was unmatched and all you could do was hold on tight to Remus’ shoulders and take every powerful thrust. You were hypnotised with the feeling of Remus’ cock inside of you, you couldn’t help but wonder what other parts of his body like his fingers or tongue, would feel like when fucking you.

“Fuck Remus, so good. I-I” you weren’t even sure what you were trying to say, all your thoughts were jumbled and bouncing around in your brain, all you knew is you never wanted Remus to stop.

“You feel amazing,” Remus’ body was on fire, every inch of him alight and burning, his annoyance of how his day started was far from his mind. All he could think of was you and how you were clenching around him. He chokes out a strained sob when he hears you chanting his name in time with each rough snap of his hips, you sound both angelic and sinful at the same time, Remus’ wishes he had one of those muggle voice recording devices so he could record your whines and listen to them when he’s alone in his dorm room.

Using his free hand Remus reaches down to rub tight circles on your clit edging you closer and closer to your release. Your orgasm is fast approaching much like a freight train heading straight for you, sirens blaring but you can’t move, the pleasure is too intense and too powerful to do anything except take it.

Remus’ face is pressed back against your neck and he quickly decides it’s his favourite place to be, if someone offered him 1,000 Galleons to never bury his face in your neck, he wouldn’t take it. Remus can hear the squelching sounds of your soppy cunt as it helplessly takes his fat cock. He’s leaving sloppy kisses and hickeys wherever he can get his mouth. It’s right when Remus’ digs his teeth into your neck and bites down hard do you fall apart, your pussy clenching and spasming around him, right in this moment you’re thankful for Remus holding you up against the wall, your legs are shaking and tensing and you know if you were standing the intensity of the orgasm would have brought you to your knees. Remus’ name is the only word you seem capable of saying as the coil inside your stomach snaps and rapidly unravels as you come undone.

“Remus, Remus, Remus!”

You connect your lips with Remus’ in a lame attempt to shut yourself up, the kiss is rushed and your teeth clash together but you don’t give a fuck. Remus’ name is still spilling from your lips and into Remus’ mouth as your body begins to come down from the high.

The boy holding you up hasn’t faltered in his movements at all, determined to fuck you through your orgasm. There’s beads of sweat dripping from Remus’ forehead, his mind is whirling and thoughts of you are spiralling around his brain, he thinks he might pass out and he’s certain he does for a second when you whisper and bite his earlobe.

“Want you to cum inside me Remus, fill me up,” half a thrust later and Remus’ hips stutter and he’s spilling into your cunt groaning your name as he does so. His vision blurs around the edges before he closes his eyes and he lets out a moan so deep, primal and loud. Remus continues to rock his hips milking his own orgasm until the last drop is squeezed from his soften cock. He stills his movements but doesn’t dare pull out just yet, relishing in the warmth of your pussy and the way your hand is brushing the sweaty hair off his forehead. You rest your forehead against Remus’ sweaty one, pecking his lips, once, twice then three times.

“That was…” you drift off unable to find the right words to describe what just happened.

“Intense?” Remus offers breathlessly.

You nod, “in the best way.”

It wasn’t until you hear the sounds of students outside signalling the end of class do either of you move, Remus helping you clean yourself up. And it wasn’t until the two of you were certain the coast was clear did you exit the closet with the promise of doing that again very soon.

#Remus Lupin #remus lupin x reader #Remus Lupin smut #Remus Lupin x you #Remus Lupin imagines #remus lupin imagine #elles recs #smutty recs #smut

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jenoismydad · 3 years

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2 + 3 = You In Me

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Pairing: Tutor!Jaemin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut (pwp), Slight Angst, College AU

Words: 4.6k+

Warnings: 18+ content. Unprotected sex.

Synopsis: He agrees to tutor you and you end up becoming good friends even though you both so clearly want to be more. What happens when you let you bodies talk for you?

Jaemin was coming over to help you prepare for a test. You had no clue how he'd agreed to assist you, but you were thankful nonetheless. Jaemin rarely ever studied with girls. Mostly because they were always hitting on him. But it seemed you were an exception. You wondered why but you figured it was because he was trying to make some extra money.

Yes, Jaemin made you pay him. He made everyone pay him so you didn't think too much of it. From what you'd heard, his methods never failed to prove effective. You hoped he could help you study well enough to pass this test. After all, a majority of your grade depended on it.

You'd spent a good amount of your time trying to prepare a nice study space for you both to sit at in your apartment. So far you'd only managed to clean your coffee table and place two cushions for seats at its feet.

Jaemin would be here any minute. You rushed to get everything you'd need for the day, wanting to keep it all ready so that you wouldn't have to interrupt the study session. Your bell rang not soon after. He was here on time.

Opening the door, you welcomed him with a smile. He nodded and entered without a word. Black track pants and a plain white shirt. Jaemin hadn't made much of an effort to dress to impress. He ventured into your dorm, looking around the place silently.

That's when he came across your makeshift study zone. He pointed at it and looked at you.

"We're studying here," he asked, placing his hands in his pockets. He sounded a tad bit dejected. Your eyes widened slightly in panic. Was he not comfortable with sitting on the floor? "Yeah, I figured. Is there a problem," you asked, fearing the worst for no reason. Jaemin shook his head. "Nope, I just thought we were gonna sit in your room. That's where most of the girls take me anyways," he revealed, flashing you a small grin. You immediately felt at ease.

"My room's kind of a mess at the moment," you admitted, joining him near your couch. He took a seat on the floor, placing the cushion behind his back instead. He cleaned his black-rimmed glasses and patted the space next to himself. "Let's get started."

Jaemin was a pro at breaking down the complex concept so that your pea-sized brain could understand it to the fullest. The only drawback with that method was that it took much longer than you'd like it to. Two hours later you'd only finished one of the chapters that would be coming for the test. You still had four more to go.

"Fuck it's already three o'clock," you complained, falling dramatically on the coffee table. Jaemin flipped his pen in his fingers and stretched his body with a yawn. "I don't mind staying overtime," he joked. He'd made a lot of humoring comments during your time with him. The last you'd heard, he tended to be quite serious, never straying from his purpose. Not that you minded or anything, but Jaemin wasn't really meeting the expectations everyone had set for him in your mind. Maybe they were just trying to intimidate you.

"Don't you have to study too," you asked, turning your head to glance at him. He looked at you and shook his head. "I already studied beforehand. Plus, this test's gonna be super easy. You pass it with a breeze," he admitted. As relieving as that sounded, you didn't wanna take any chances. What if he flunked the test because he didn't revise or something. You really didn't want to be the person he blamed when that happened.

"You don't have to stay for my sake. You can go home if you want to. I think I can manage on my own now." you flipped through the pages of your coursebook, sighing in despair. It was a lot to go through. At least you still had half the day left.

Jaemin folded his arms. "Don't worry about me y/n. Not to undermine you, but I don't think you can get through all of this by yourself. I mean, you barely managed to understand the basics. All those chapters just branch off from this one and get increasingly tough to learn."

If this was him trying to convince you to let him stay then it sure as hell was working. You groaned and sat back up. "You promise you won't fail the test because of me then?" Jaemin chuckled. "Of course not. I'll pass with flying colors."

So you resumed studying. Jaemin was right. What he taught you next was more confusing than the first chapter you'd covered. You regretted not paying attention during your lectures. Jaemin never got impatient with you. In fact, he took ample time to make sure you understood everything he explained to you. He was very thorough and you appreciated that. However the more knowledge you absorbed, the more exhausted you felt. It got to the point where you felt like you couldn't study any further. Jaemin then suggested that you take a small break. You couldn't have agreed faster.

"Once we're done you should go through the practice questions that I emailed you," Jaemin reminded, taking a sip of the soda you'd offered him. You gave him a thumbs up and fell on the ground. "You're a lifesaver Na Jaemin."

Jaemin chuckled and turned to you. "I'm guessing it's not just math that you're having a problem with."

You raised your head and narrowed your eyes at him. "Nicely deduced."

"We can get together to study together for your other subjects if you don't mind. No need to pay me either," he offered.

You furrowed your brows. "Jaemin the longer you spend teaching me the dumber you're gonna get."

He brushed you off. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that."

"You never know, and besides, after today you should know that it's gonna take five hundred years to clear all my concepts. Do you even have that kind of time?"

Jaemin tilted his soda can at you. "You'd be surprised at how much free time I have on my hands."

You smiled. "Wait so you're actually agreed to be my personal tutor."

Jaemin rolled his eyes amusedly. "It was my proposition but yes. I wouldn't be your personal tutor though. Just a study partner."

You sat up and leaned back. "So like, studying in the library after class and stuff like that?"

He nodded. "If the library's closed we can come here or I can take you to my place."

You pursed your lips, considering his deal. But something paused your train of thoughts. "Wait a minute. Why are you asking me this all of a sudden? You hardly seem like the type of guy who'd study with someone else."

Jaemin downed his drink, wincing at the fizziness that clawed at his throat. "I've had fun studying with you so far. Like, you're genuinely dumb, unlike some other people I tutor who just pretend to be dumb so they can spend a few hours with me."

You raised a brow. Had he just called you dumb? "I'll try not to take offense, thank you very much."

Jaemin apologized with a laugh.

"Does it make you feel smarter in some type of way," you asked? Jaemin hummed in response. "It kinda does now that you mention it. But I also feel like it would help me revise and clear my own concepts at the same time."

That made sense. "Damn, and here I was thinking you wanted to do this cause you were interested in me."

Jaemin's eyes widened. You raised your hands in defense. "It's just a joke. Don't take it seriously," you assured. Jaemin relaxed at that.

"Let's get started again. We're almost halfway there," he said, changing the topic. You agreed and sat beside him again, pen in hand, ready to go.

You walked out of your lecture with a bright smile on your face and headed straight to the library. Sure enough, Jaemin was already sitting there, waiting for you patiently. You sent him a small wave and skipped over to him. Handing him your graded test paper, you watched excitedly as his eyes lit up.

"Oh my god. You passed!"

You squealed and sat next to him, placing your bag near your feet. Jaemin smiled up at you. "This is such a good score," he added, glad that he'd been able to help.

"Henceforth we're studying together for every single test. I don't care if you're sick or at a friend's house."

Jaemin laughed and nodded. "Sure thing. If it means seeing you this happy then I'm down."

You froze at his words, glancing towards him. He clearly didn't seem to realize what he'd just said. Maybe you'd heard wrong. It was possible. After all, he was whispering. You didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to listening anyways. Concluding that you were mistaken, you pulled out your books and got to finishing up your assignments.

A few hours later Jaemin and you exited the library. You both usually parted ways since your dorms were in the opposite direction. However today, Jaemin followed behind you.

"What are you doing," you asked when he jogged up next to you. "We should celebrate your achievement today," he suggested. That sounded nice. "Okay then, what do you propose we should do?"

Jaemin pondered on your question. "Let's go to the cafe. I'll buy you coffee and anything else you want."

Coffee was perfect. You nodded and agreed. Jaemin grinned and led you to a small cafe that was just a little outside campus.

You both entered the small shop, the tantalizing scent of coffee hitting your senses immediately. Even though it was almost lunchtime, the cafe was brimming with multitudes of students. Luckily, the queue was short.

"Go find us somewhere nice to sit. I'll buy us some drinks," Jaemin said, pulling out his phone. Before you left, you let him know what you'd like.

Venturing to the back of the cafe, you found a secluded booth for two. It faced a large window, one that gave a fantastic view of the campus. You took a seat and placed your bag next to you. After a couple minutes of waiting, Jaemin emerged with your drinks in hand. He handed you yours before sitting down.

"Iced Americano? I see you're into the classics," you chimed, deciding to spark up a conversation. Jaemin took a sip of his drink. "Simple is the best after all."

Of course, it was. "Hey Jaemin," you started, setting your drink down on the table. He hummed. "Do you wanna come over later today," you asked. Jaemin furrowed his brows. "But we already finished studying."

You shook your head. "Not to study. Let's hang out, maybe watch a movie or something like that."

He seemed a bit taken aback, but nothing too alarming. It was just that you two never really did anything other than study together. Sure enough, you'd become close because of it. But you figured as friends, there were other things you could engage in to pass the time.

"Let's do it. What time should I come over," Jaemin asked? "Does seven work for you? I'll order pizza, so you don't need to worry about dinner."

Jaemin nodded. "Seven works for me."

As soon as the clock struck seven, there was a knock on your door. The ever punctual Jaemin would never be a second late. You let him in, eager to get your night started. He walked into your dorm and went straight to your room, plopping down on your bed as if it were his own.

You'd already been browsing on Netflix, wondering what genre he liked. It had never come up in conversation before so you didn't really know.

"What are we watching," he asked, scrolling through the options. You shrugged and joined him on your bed. "I'm not sure. I didn't know what you like," you admitted.

"I usually just watch whatever's in the top ten or 'new this week'," he shared. He stopped at a movie you would never have believed he'd be interested in.

"You wanna watch Yes Day," you asked in disbelief? Jaemin giggled and nodded innocently. "It looks super lame but I've already finished watching everything," he revealed. Here you were thinking you both would watch something more serious instead of a family movie. Instead of spending forty minutes trying to settle on one movie, you decided it best to just go with the first choice.

Jaemin started the movie and leaned back beside you. It was quiet between you both for the most part. You watched the movie in silence. It wasn't as entertaining as you'd thought it would be, but Jaemin seemed to be engrossed in it so you chose to say nothing and continued staring at the screen.

Halfway into the movie, Jaemin stifled a yawn and fell to the side, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked at you and pointed to the screen. "Are we gonna keep watching this?"

You let out a breath of relief and exited out of the movie once and for all. "If you didn't like it why'd you make me watch it," you complained, shutting your laptop. Jaemin sat up and crossed his legs. "I thought you were enjoying it. You even laughed at the funny parts."

You stuck your chin out. "You should know what my fake laugh sounds like by now Jaemin." He raised his hands in defense. "The only time I hear you laugh is when you realize you're doing something wrong."

You tsked. "That's called nervous laughter genius. You suck at interpreting emotions."

He hit you with a pillow softly. "Hey, stop making me out for a robot."

"You're the human embodiment of the AI," you joked, dodging the pillow he swung at you. Raising your hands in defense, you shielded yourself from him. "At least I said you're intelligent."

Jaemin paused his attacks. "You're lucky I think you're cute. I'll let you off the hook for now."

You had another one of those moments where you froze, wondering if the words that had come out of his mouth were true or not. He didn't whisper this time. You'd heard everything word for word. But you couldn't believe it.

"Did you just call me cute?"

Jaemin nodded, not seeming too surprised about it. "You aren't not cute," he added. Maybe you were misinterpreting the meaning behind it. Friends called friends cute. It was normal. That didn't mean that they liked each other, did it?

Noticing the conflict in your expression, Jaemin leaned forward and cleared his throat. "I didn't mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way."

Something about that made your stomach churn. You felt uneasy all of a sudden. You wanted to be relieved, that he didn't think of you as more than a friend. But a part of you wished he felt otherwise. You didn't know why, it just did.

You chuckled awkwardly and faced him. "Yeah, of course, you didn't. I don't know why I thought that."

Jaemin hummed and rested his chin on his palm. "Maybe because you wanted it to be true."

"Huh?"

"Maybe you wanted me to tell you that I like you."

You didn't know what to say to that. So you just smiled awkwardly. "But you don't, do you?"

Jaemin grinned. "Do you want me to?"

"No! Of course not, why would I-"

"I'm just messing with you y/n. Don't worry, we're just friends," he assured, finding you getting alarmed quite amusing. You hit his shoulder. "Don't joke around like that. Who knows what might happen."

Jaemin's laughter died down. He met your gaze sombrely. You knew he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. His eyes traveled down to your lips for a moment. You sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling giddy. Jaemin looked back into your eyes, this time with a small smile. You didn't know what he was doing. You also didn't know if you liked it or not. Your mind said one thing and your body said another. Jaemin subtly licked his lips. You had no clue why the action had such a devastating effect on you.

Before you knew it, your lips were on his. Jaemin didn't seem surprised at all. In fact, he relaxed and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body onto his. He fell back on your mattress, bringing you on top of him. Straddling his lap, you placed your hands on either side of his head, kissing him with vigor. Jaemin groaned against your mouth, the sound sending warm shivers down your back. His lips were softer than you thought they'd be and he tasted faintly of coffee.

His hands slipped under your shirt, resting on your skin. His touch felt fiery hot. You rolled your hips over his lap impulsively, biting his both lip as a throaty groan left his mouth. He squeezed your waist and trailed his hands down to your ass.

Before things could escalate, however, your bell rang. You both stilled, separating from each other. When your eyes met, you scrambled off of him and sat at the edge of your bed, completely stunned. Jaemin rubbed his face and sat up as well, not really knowing what to say. The bell rang again, snapping you out of your daze. "I'll go get that," you muttered disorientedly, leaving Jaemin in your room. He nodded and stood up. "Actually, I'm gonna go," he said, leaving your room before you could say anything. You heard the door open and shut soon after. Your bell rang again.

You went to open your door. A delivery guy stood before you, hands empty with a confused look on his face. "The guy that just left took the pizza with him. He said that you'd pay for it." You couldn't believe it. Nonetheless, you paid the man and shut your door. What had just happened?

A few days passed after the incident at your dorm. Jaemin hadn't called or texted you and in all honesty, you hadn't made an attempt to contact him. You felt too embarrassed to face him. After all, it was you who'd gone onto him. Even if he didn't push you away it wasn't like either of you had agreed to start making out. You were anxious because you knew you'd ruined your friendship with him.

A part of you missed him. You enjoyed spending time with him, even though all you did was study. Everything was so bleak now that he wasn't around to humor you.

You didn't want to regret whatever had happened that night. It was amazing. You just wished it hadn't ended the way it did. You should have understood that he indeed was joking. Instead, you mistook his prodding for sarcasm.

It made no sense for you to not speak to him. You wanted to make amends, figure out what had gone wrong. But you were scared he'd ignore you. That would just make you feel worse than you already did.

So you passed the days, wafting in your own misery. Pitying yourself as if the entire weight of the world had been thrown on your shoulders.

Little did you know that all it would take was another shitty test score for you to pick up your phone and call Jaemin.

"Help me study," you said as soon as he answered the call. Jaemin was silent on the other end. "Don't just listen to me. Say something," you begged. Your heart felt heavy. You heard him sigh. "I'd rather not y/n." You got goosebumps. "Jaemin, please. We can go to fucking library if that makes you feel better," you suggested, desperate for him to agree. After giving it some thought he finally answered you. "Okay fine. Tomorrow at three. But no longer than three hours."

He hung up, leaving you feeling a tad bit better. You looked forward to the next day. Hopefully, he wouldn't act indifferent to you.

Jaemin sat in your usual spot at the library. He was on his phone, leg crossed over his lap leisurely. You walked up to him and took a seat beside him without a word. Seeing you had arrived, he put his phone away and turned to you. "What are we studying?"

You took out your books and opened them. "This."

Jaemin glanced over the material. No wonder you'd flunked your test. He sighed, placing the textbook between you two. Without wasting a second, he began tutoring you.

No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't pay attention. You were too busy staring at his face, more specifically his lips. They way he'd lick them ever so often made butterflies soar in your stomach. He'd run his hand through his fluffy hair and adjust his glasses, letting your mind run wild. Jaemin didn't seem to notice your lack of focus. You figured he didn't really care. He kept glancing at his watch. It was like he was waiting for your time with him to come to an end.

Much to your dismay, eventually it did.

"I'll send you a picture of some practice material. You can use that to prepare better," he concluded, getting up from his seat. You quickly stuffed your books in your bag and ran after him.

"Jaemin wait!"

He paused. "What," he asked as he turned around. He sounded disinterested. "Can we talk," you asked? Jaemin sighed and shrugged. "What do you wanna talk about," he questioned, placing his hands in his pockets. "About what happened at my place last week."

Jaemin tensed up. "It was a mistake. I think we both understood that."

You shook your head. "I don't know Jaemin, I'm not sure I did."

He furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wouldn't have kissed you unless I wanted to. Not just that but you wouldn't have let it go so far if you thought it was wrong."

He seemed at a loss for words.

"When you called me cute, you did mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way." You didn't need an answer for him to know you were correct.

"What are you trying to say y/n," he asked, sounding defeated.

"That I like you," you admitted. Jaemin's eyes widened. "And that you like me too," you added.

Jaemin bit his lip. "Okay, so then why were we acting like we hated each other for so long?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you overthink everything and I'm a big pussy."

Jaemin chuckled and slung his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry about that babe."

You cringed at the nickname. "Don't 'babe' me. We're not dating. Not yet."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Does it really need to be that formal?"

You nodded adamantly. "Of course it does."

He sighed. "Fine. Will you go out with me y/n?"

You smiled and shook your head. "I'd rather not Jaemin."

"Yeah whatever," he said with a scoff, leading you outside.

As soon as you were past your door Jaemin's lips were on yours in an instant. He pushed you against the wall, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his shoulders, sighing into his mouth. "I missed you so fucking much," he muttered, stumbling to your room.

He dropped you on your bed and hovered over you, staring down at you somberly before kissing you again. His lips didn't stay on yours for too long, trailing down to your jaw and then your neck. You tugged at his shirt, urging him to take it off. When he did, you stared at his chiseled body in awe. "I didn't know you worked out."

Jaemin chuckled at your comment and pulled your own shirt off. He flicked the tiny bow on your bra with an amused grin. "This is cute."

You nudged his arm timidly. "I wasn't exactly preparing myself for this moment."

He said nothing further and latched his lips to your neck once again. Running your fingers through his hair, you craned your neck to the side to give him more access. He gently sucked on your skin, not too harsh that it would leave marks. You sighed and fiddled with the waistband of his sweatpants. "Do you want it off," he asked quietly, lips ghosting over yours. You nodded, biting your lip when he pushed his pants down.

His member came into sight, making your mouth water.

Taking your hand in his, he brought it to his cock. Your fingers wrapped around his girth instinctively. Jaemin suck in a breath as he made you stroke his length. His hand slipped past your panties, fingers toying with your clit. You gasped and spread your legs wider, loving the way his calloused fingertips felt. Tightening your grip around his cock, you jerked him off earnestly. In turn, Jaemin began rubbing quick circles into your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Letting go of his member, you hastily pushed your pants down your legs. Jaemin peeled your panties off of you, marveling at the sight of your glistening pussy. "Don't just stare," you complained, shutting your legs, "do something."

Jaemin wordlessly, spread your legs apart and settled down between your thighs. He glanced up at your through his lashes, asking for permission before licking a stripe up your folds. You pushed your hips against his mouth, eyes falling shut when he repeated the action. Holding onto your thighs, he nipped and sucked at your clit, groaning every time your bucked your hips into his face. You gripped onto his hair, tugging at his roots. Jaemin's fingers prodded at your slit, slowly entering your walls. He curled them up, making your arch your back in delight. It felt so good. He knew exactly what he was doing.

With his tongue skillfully moving over your clit and his fingers continuously pumping in and out of you, it didn't take long for you to feel a familiar knot in your stomach. You sat up, pulling his mouth off of your cunt. "I need you to fuck me now." Your voice was hushed, breathless because of how much you'd moaned. Jaemin's eyes had darkened considerably. He pushed you down on your back again and pressed his tip to your entrance.

Jaemin felt bigger than he looked. Not that you were complaining or anything, it just took a while to get used to. He made sure you were comfortable before slowly starting to pound into you.

You grabbed his arms as he fastened his pace, head falling back in ecstasy. Shallow breaths left his parted lips. "You feel so good," he muttered, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His breath was hot on your skin. You wrapped your arms around his neck, humming in response. You were close. Jaemin could tell.

Gripping onto your waist, he went faster, slamming his cock into you as he chased your highs. You cried out his name, squeezing your eyes shut. Your walls clenched tightly around his length, your orgasm crashing down on you intensely. Soon enough, he twitched inside you. His thighs stilled, hips snapping into you one last time before thick ropes of his cum shot into your walls. He let out a pleased groan, voice deep and raspy.

"That was amazing," you breathed, pushing your hair out of your face as Jaemin moved off of you. He smiled and tugged his pants back on, joining you under the covers. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Jaemin pulled you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. You laughed to yourself. "What is it," Jaemin asked. You shook your head, looking at him. "To think this all started after you agreed to tutor me."

tagging: @neosmutcollective @hoehousenet @kdiarynet @kafenetwork @nct-writers @ficscafe @whipped-kpop-creators @kpopscape

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tsukiida · 3 years

Text

honey — bakugou katsuki

— info :: bakugou x gn!reader ; sfw ; fluff & humour ; 6.04k words.

— contents :: quirkless reader ; reader’s pov ; scheming friends ; dumbass!reader ; slight cussing ; confessions.

— synopsis :: if there’s one thing that you have in common with bakugou katsuki, it’s obliviousness to the other’s feelings. a haunted house is the best place to resolve misunderstandings.

— note :: it’s been a while; I finally finished this!! :D it’s a continuation to bakugou’s “pining”, and I’d suggest reading that first for the full experience™ but there are hints dropped throughout “honey” to give you an idea of what happened! I hope y’all like this! :)

quite honestly, you've got to be the biggest idiot possible.

really, you had the best chance.

it’s not like confessing to bakugou katsuki would be that bad, right? the most he’d do is turn you down with a scoff and then go back to pretending you don’t exist while chasing his heroic dreams.

he’s not big on humiliating people unless they’re— a: aspiring heroes, or b: midoriya izuku.

he definitely wouldn’t lord it over your head and tease you about it.

kaminari really gave you the best opportunity to get things out in the open!

and you let it slip through your fingers like an idiot.

furthermore, you really did also say that you have absolutely no romantic interest in the explosive pretty boy. you acted like the idea of harboring any feelings towards him shocked you. you also acted like he was the weird one for thinking you liked him.

while having a raging crush on him which really makes your heart beat and bounce around in your ribcage as if getting a firsthand taste of his quirk.

have you mentioned that you’re an idiot?

right, you have done that enough times, so maybe the next step is to explain why.

you’d been out running an errand when you’d come across midoriya izuku.

midoriya; the only other quirkless student in your year, in junior high. you’d never talked much to him, but you’d felt a sense of camaraderie with him whenever you saw him. the school was small enough that you could count the number of quirkless people on one hand.

you and deku were included in that number.

the only reason why you didn’t get picked on for the reasons he did was because you never wanted to be a hero.

and you avoided bakugou katsuki like the plague.

to be honest, you hated him at first.

you’d seen it all, but hadn’t been able to do anything other than giving midoriya a few words of comfort which felt hollow to your own ears. you still blamed yourself a little for having never helped him properly.

you loathed bakugou for being as powerful as he was, as arrogant and stuck up as he was, and for being the petty bully who really thought he was better than someone just because of a quirk.

you were bitter. not because you didn’t have a quirk, but because people like him made people like you feel like you weren’t worth anything.

that’s why, when you chanced upon midoriya after such a long time, you were elated.

you were so happy when you found out that he really did have what it takes to be a hero.

if you deliberately ignored bakugou, then that’s entirely on him and not on you.

you won’t be taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

…you were also wary of him.

you didn’t want him to blow you up if you so much as smiled at him.

not that he deserved seeing your smile anyway.

that’s what you told yourself right in the beginning. and that’s what came to bite you in the ass, because some days you have to do your best to conceal your smile at the mention of the stupid explosive boy’s name.

he really does scare you, you didn’t lie about that. but despite that, your brain thinks that it’s fun to get flustered over someone who scares you. just a little bit! he’s losing that scariness rapidly in all situations except when you’ve seen him in action as a budding hero. you just get worried that he’s going to take one look at you and decide that you’re getting in his way, a nuisance to everyone, and whatever else he can think of you.

in all honesty, you’re aware that he was an idiot in middle school, and the majority of his issues stemmed from his convoluted relationship with midoriya. if midoriya himself can forgive him, then you don’t really have a reason to hold grudges. and you know he’s grown. he’s matured to an extent you never expected from him, but perhaps that’s how he goes through life.

exceeding expectations is something he’s great at.

and he’s grown into someone wonderfully inspiring, if not intimidating.

—juuuust a little!

…

uraraka finds out first.

you love that girl, but you could do without her knowing about your embarrassing crush on one bakugou katsuki.

if only she’d actually helped you out, instead of teasing you subtly to the point that you couldn’t even stay in the same room as bakugou—to the point that you vehemently denied any sort of interest in him when midoriya innocently brought up the other boy in a conversation.

it becomes a reflex to avoid anything related to bakugou and romance in the same space. which is how you landed yourself in the mess with kaminari.

so you’re going to blame uraraka. she’s definitely at fault! it’s not your wimpy self to blame!

“uraraka,” you end up mumbling into the phone, rocking back and forth while hiding your face against your knees, wishing to be swallowed whole.

“uraraka, i told kaminari that i don’t like him.” despite having promised yourself that you won’t bring the whole thing up with her, you can’t help it. she’s still your precious friend that you’re very fond of, and the same friend who wrangled out from you all of your embarrassing opinions of him.

“uraraka, he’s going to hate me now. he’s going to think i don’t think he’s cool or strong, or whatever else that might hurt his pride. he’s going to completely stop paying attention to me now!”

you may claim that you blame her, but you’re aware that she’s not at fault. she always tries hyping you up when you’re nervous and comforts you when you’re down. perhaps you’re taking advantage of her kindness, but you really don’t want to be left alone with your thoughts. and it really is her fault for being so encouraging when it comes to dealing with your feelings for bakugou katsuki.

so when your friend just wordlessly hums in response for the third time, your fingers clench in your hair and you let out a frustrated sigh. raising your pitch obnoxiously, you whine, “uraraka!”

“i love you, but if you call my name like that one more time i will tell deku.”

you freeze, not sure if she means telling him about your not-so-little crush, or merely the fact that you like singing uraraka’s name. she laughs mischievously, clearing up your confusion much too quickly, prompting you to let out frantic apologies and make her promise that she won’t let the cat out of the bag.

“really, though,” you mumble, “he didn’t even remember me. he asked me if i was messing with him using my quirk. i had to tell him i was quirkless and then deal with his anger.”

that gets her attention in an entirely different manner. she sounds positively incensed when she asks you why it matters if you’re quirkless, and you give her reasons that sound weak to your own ears.

“and how are you messing with him?”

that leads to you telling her about one of your earlier interactions with bakugou, back when you’d first started being friends with midoriya’s class. you mention how you were about ready to pass out when bakugou’s question registered in your mind and you had to tell him you were quirkless, before you’re back to bemoaning the conversation with kaminari.

and something clicks.

not in your brain.

but in uraraka’s.

…

it’s not just you avoiding bakugou.

bakugou avoids you like the plague.

the sensible part of you is relieved, but another, bigger and dumber, part of you is hurt. of course he’d avoid you if his friend asked you if you liked him, and you said you didn’t.

but ouch, you really didn’t expect it to hurt this much.

not that something like this should even matter to him, right? maybe it’s you who’s suddenly noticing that he avoids you, because now you have a reason to fixate on rather than trying to lie to yourself that bakugou is not entirely indifferent to you. he really has no reason to pay attention to you.

it all makes sense, but it doesn’t stop you from feeling saddened every time bakugou blatantly ignores you. nor does it stop you from going out of your mind wondering why kaminari, too, seems to avoid you at all costs. it’s not like you said you didn’t like him!

yes, it makes sense perfectly. but not to you.

it makes absolutely no sense to you.

…

midoriya’s advancing steadily in his hero career with uraraka’s help, because the latter convinces you to come meet up with the two of them on a rare day out, and the former conveniently drags bakugou out too.

really, such heroics, all for a friend’s pathetic love life? how heartwarming.

you’re still in shock at how easy it was, and god, you don’t want to think about the implications, with the way bakugou’s eyes flit from one to the other when he’s not looking at you.

you also don’t want to admit that you’re stealing glances out of the corner of your eye at the blond when you don’t feel his eyes boring into you.

talk about awkward.

you’ve always been enamoured by how smart bakugou actually is, but it works against you when he corners you after uraraka and midoriya mysteriously vanish under the guise of training.

(that too at an arcade, because gaming supposedly helps achieve better reflex. why is a quirkless person with no interest in being a hero even invited to this outing? one will never know. the only games being played here are with your frayed self-control.)

“oi, if you’re gonna avoid me, don’t be so obvious about it.”

“a—? avoid you?” you practically squeak, and his annoyance seems to increase. there’s something else that you can’t really put a finger to. you’d say he almost looks agitated? but there’s nothing to agitate himself over…

…unless he still thinks you’ve got a raging crush on him.

“nope!” you hastily respond before realising he’s not even said anything to you, but hey, it’s as good an answer to his complaint about you avoiding him.

why’s he complaining, anyway? shouldn’t he be glad no one’s getting in his way?

you ask as much, and he all but growls, words escaping him as you take a step back. bakugou is more susceptible to dramatics than one would think. you used to find it funny, but when such behaviour is aimed at you, you’re not sure how to respond.

“you think you can actually get in my way?” he bursts out, and you make a show of thinking about it, when internally every single one of your brain cells is rioting, self-composure in shambles as you’re rudely made aware of how little distance is between the two of you.

that’s fine, you’re strong, you’re not going to be weak in the face of bakugou katsuki’s incredibly attractive glower.

no, you’re not whipped, thank you very much, to the uraraka-shaped devil materialising in your mind.

ah, back to the matter at hand. it’s not possible for quirkless little you to get in his way, is it?

anyway—

“aren’t you the one avoiding me?” you’re going to try and turn this situation around on him even if it means confronting things you don’t want to.

he scoffs in disbelief, but by that time you’ve worked up the courage to look at him, and you see the look in his eyes. you’ve spent enough time around him to know what that means, even if you barely ever look at him. he looks like he’s been caught, and isn’t that the funniest little thing?

he notices the twitch of your mouth, his own eyes narrowing as it’s your turn to be caught now.

“kaminari,” bakugou says in lieu of a response, and your heart jumps in your throat. you don’t mind dropping a subject if he doesn’t plan on grilling you on it too—changing the subject would be great, but he just picked one even worse than the last!

“he’s stupid, don’t pay attention to him.”

“uh huh, he sure is,” you laugh nervously. if you’d had your bearings about you, you’d never have said that. as it is, your mind is still shaken up and hoping that he doesn’t catch on to the fact that you are the stupid one.

you’re also very busy battling a smug uraraka and shouting at incompetent old you for swooning in the face of your biggest problem. and for, you know, missing that golden chance to confess without anxiety.

“look at me.”

nuh uh, nope, not possible. you’re not going to survive looking into his pretty eyes.

he lets out another frustrated sound, and you wait for him to blow up again—maybe even cause explosions. you wonder why he’s not been doing that lately.

he gets tired of your stalling, and surprises you by getting in your line of sight, locking eyes with you.

ah, impatience is such a gorgeous look on him.

…and you’re insufferable.

“i am not avoiding you. why would i, idiot? there’s nothing i need to avoid you for.”

you nod, not quite believing him, but you really want to just move on from this. a part of you wonders if you should come clean. but bakugou really doesn’t seem like he wants to hear anything about that. it’s in the way his eyes flit away momentarily and his expression sours, and in the way he seems to be pushing himself to hold onto some shreds of self-control.

all you can do is nod, really.

“where’s deku?”

you’re barely able to carry on the conversation, making some excuse or the other as to your missing friend(s), doing your best to act like you don’t have a clue either. if he finds your behaviour suspicious, bakugou doesn’t comment on it.

he does comment on something else. again.

“you don’t have to keep avoiding me just because of pikachu either.”

really? there’s nothing better for him to talk about? you thought you were past this! and calling kaminari ‘pikachu’ is not that smart!

“pikachu was cute…” you mumble. and you need to be louder, because you don’t want bakugou leaning in any closer to hear you.

the proximity is doing things to you.

things like making you forget that he probably hates your guts and doesn’t want to spend time with you, nor talk to you, at all. things like how he’s probably upset at being stuck babysitting you while midoriya and uraraka are off who knows where. things like making you discuss the cute factor of a magic ball–inhabiting yellow electric creature when bakugou clearly means the boy who almost outed your silly crush.

the boy who was giving you the best opportunity to confess!!!

if there’s one person who will never let you forget that, it’s your own self.

bakugou makes a sound that almost sounds like laughter, but there’s no way, right?

he shuffles back slightly, making it that much easier to breathe before he drops another bomb.

“school festival.”

you blink.

“it’ll be next month. make sure you’re free.”

oh. the stupid part of you is internally rejoicing, but since there is no way that he’d actually ask you to come—

“a-are you asking me to visit…?”

no no no, you didn’t mean to ask—

bakugou gives you a flat stare, and you gulp. so you were right for once.

you mull over it for a moment, the concrete under your feet extremely interesting before meeting his eyes again, “am i allowed to?”

“you practically live with us with how often i see you in the dorms. you think they’ll stop you now?” he snorts, rolling his eyes, but there’s not as much bite to his words as one would expect.

he has a point.

but you can’t really see reason when every single cell of your body is screaming ‘IT’S A DATE’ over and over again.

you groan, before swallowing back the sound. uh oh, bakugou’s going to think you don’t want to—

“come when you can.”

hands in his pockets, he walks off as if he wasn’t just making you go through all stages of panic.

…

uraraka tells you why she vanished. she was simply being a ‘good friend’ and trying to get you and bakugou to reconcile. you politely tell her it wasn’t required, especially because there wasn’t much that happened.

except the fact that he asked you to turn up to the festival, so that’s nice, at least.

uraraka doesn’t react as expected, again, and she utters the cursed words that you never wanted to hear out loud. “aw, a date!”

“uraraka, no!”

but it’s too late. it’s been said and now you can’t think of anything else. you know it’s not a date, any sane person would know that, but you can’t stop thinking of that one stupid word and bakugou and the school festival and spending time with bakugou at the festival—

“uraraka… the festival— i’ll need to see him. i’ll see him having the time of his life while he’s in his element, i’ll see that infuriating face— i’ll have to spend time with him—”

“y/n,” uraraka gives you a look that’s the perfect amount of wary and pitying to make you embarrassed, but there are bigger things to worry about than your friend’s opinion of you.

“this is bakugou we’re talking about. he’s not that open about having fun unless it has something to do with murder.” the fact that he won’t be keen on spending time with you goes unsaid, but you know what she’s hinting at. “also, i don’t think you find his face as infuriating as you say.”

“still. bakugou katsuki. he… told me to— agh—”

and you’re back to square one, where the very mention of bakugou katsuki has you confused out of your mind because you don’t know how to act around him.

perfect.

…

time passes quicker when you’re hoping for the opposite, you find out when the days go by faster than you can blink. there’s just a week left before you have to see bakugou again, and it makes you nervous every time you think about it. which is a lot of times.

you’ve not seen the class in a while, since everyone told you they have a ‘surprise.’ you know they’re aiming to outdo their previous performance at the festival, you’re rooting for them. but without one of your main sources of entertainment, things haven’t been eventful.

except the conversation you have with kaminari over text, because of course he somehow procured your contact information and of course he felt like he had to make amends.

maybe you were expecting it because you were already on edge from when bakugou confronted you, but kaminari doesn’t beat around the bush and gets straight to the matter, which is quite unlike the last time you both talked. that time.

“haven’t got the chance to check in w/ u in a while, we’ve been crazy busy! i hope u’ve been well >:D” shifts to “we’re good, right?” sooner than you’d like, and you’re left staring at your screen in shock as you try to think of an innocuous response that doesn’t give away your true emotions.

kaminari is too quick, and he doesn’t even give you a chance to think of a lie before the next ping distracts you, leaving you staring at the latest message in horror; “blame bakugou! he’s the one who told us you like him! i’m really sorry! :(”

it’s nice of him to apologise, but you really have other things to think about.

like how it’s bakugou katsuki himself who apparently thought you had a crush on him.

he knew.

he knows.

he knows he knows he knows—

no, no, he doesn’t know. he can’t. maybe he was just suspicious.

and on the off chance that he does know, then of course. he’s smart. you’re stupidly obvious. of course he’d figure out.

but he doesn’t seem to hate you. he was the one who approached you every time! when he asked you to turn your quirk off, when he supposedly instructed kaminari to ask you if you liked him, and when he told you to visit for the festival.

you like to think that he’s just too busy training to even realise that you like him. you hope that’s the case. you can always come clean and admit that yes, you really do like him. but there’s also your lame excuse of a pride that remembers the unreadable expression on his face when he’d heard you then, before promptly leaving, the door shut slamming shut behind him.

perhaps it’s not your pride, but guilt. you don’t want to be annoying and get in his way. there are too many things going on in his life already, why would you want to add on to all of that with your silly lies? the same logic applies to a confession too, argues the part of you that lives and breathes denial.

looking at it from another perspective, bakugou likes the attention and admiration. maybe it would’ve been for the best if you’d just admitted—

it’s too late now, so the most you can do is type out a hasty response to kaminari before he suspects your silence.

“it’s totally ok. we’re good :DD will see you guys soon!”

it’s purely to hold yourself accountable and not weasel your way out of the inevitable trip, but kaminari’s enthusiastic response manages to bring a smile to your face.

…

the evening before the grand day, you call uraraka up before the jitters can defeat you. she doesn’t react much other than humming and speaking a few encouraging statements while you lament over your luck and try to subtly ask her how bakugou has been doing.

“i’m sure he’s… excited.” you can practically feel the smile gracing her lips, and you know she’s having fun at your expense. when does she not?

you know she’s also having fun when she calls you a whiny complainer and says bakugou would probably blow up if he knew even a bit of it, and you – predictably – complain more, blaming her for meddling and bringing you to this point.

bakugou doesn’t need to know about your penchant for whining when things don’t go your way. you think he’s only ever seen you smiling and speaking politely with everyone, if he’s even been looking. that’s good, you don’t want him to find you bothersome. you’ve been doing your best to appear sophisticated around him.

…

no amount of complaining and whining could prepare you for when bakugou turns around and grabs at your wrist.

bakugou’s too close again—things are suddenly eventful.

“too damn slow, are you trying to get lost?” he grumbles as he pulls you through the throng of people, and you smile weakly, internally telling yourself to get your act together and not let on how frazzled you feel at that moment.

you don’t know whether it’s your own skin heating up under his touch, or if his quirk is responsible. for a moment, it reminds you of when he asked you if you’re using your quirk on him. it’s sudden enough that it makes you snort under your breath before you catch yourself. he gives you a quizzical look out of the corner of his eye, and you shrug, smiling lightly. that sates his curiosity, and he looks ahead again as he moves towards a predetermined destination.

it’s a lot easier to deal with his hand against yours after that. eventually, he lets go, and you find yourself missing the warmth for a moment.

the warmth completely leaves you when you find yourself in front of—

“a haunted house.”

“congrats. we’re going in. let’s see how shitty it is.”

you get the sinking suspicion that he plans to rip everyone’s confidence to shreds, and you don’t want to be around for that, but he doesn’t give you a chance to protest. you’re not supposed to be overstaying your welcome or overstepping your boundaries either, so you resign yourself to following him around quietly and perhaps apologising to his victims if he goes too far.

you’re his only victim.

you only make your way through a few scares before you get the scare.

bakugou katsuki promptly turns to you, glaring. you, being the genius that you are, take a step away from him. this continues till you’re best friends with the wall, and you try not to panic at the feeling of something slimy now clinging to your shoulder.

how can you, anyway? you’ve got bakugou staring at you with a contemplative look, almost as if he’s looking into your very soul.

“you talked to the idiot.”

“there are many idiots,” you mumble, knowing full well which idiot he’s referring to. you hope kaminari hasn’t tricked you yet again. did bakugou put him up to that conversation— there are too many things you don’t feel you have in yourself to think about.

something changes, then, and he lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. he seems agitated, almost awkward, and you wonder why.

“you piss me off.”

huh? is he talking about how much you get in his way and bother him and make things hard for him and—

“kirishima told me.”

…did another person figure out about your crush? kirishima’s always seemed really sweet, and you don’t think he’s the kind that would deliberately spill any secrets. it wouldn’t be manly, right?

“he told me i should apologise.”

“huh?” you really can’t hold it in. why is he the one apologising? shouldn’t you…? and why is he apologising by telling you that you piss him off?

“he said i shouldn’t have put you on the spot and then avoided you. dunno why he thinks he has any say in the matter but you know what i realised? maybe you think like that too. maybe you’re,” he spreads apart his fingers before making a fist and scowling at it, “hurt. and you really did avoid me after that.”

you don’t say anything, still stuck on how constipated he’d looked just moments ago. you’re not supposed to be amused right now.

“oi, say something. aren’t you gonna deny it?”

still nothing.

“say something before i leave this place without you.” your incredulity shows on your face, and he huffs, “what do you want?”

“i… i don’t need an apology… everything’s okay…” it’s not, but you don’t want him to look further into this. there’s no point. “i’m not hurt, bakugou. there’s no reason for you to apologise.”

“then why’re you still acting so jumpy? i told you, just forget about what the electric idiot said and go on merrily through life. i told him not to bring it up with you again.”

“he said you told them i like you.”

he mutters something under his breath, no doubt cursing his friend out after you throw him under the bus. but he doesn’t let it affect him, straightening up again as he looks at you.

“miscalculation,” he shrugs, “i told them to drop it after you said you didn’t.”

“you believe me?” you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but it slips out before you can stop yourself.

“no shit. you telling me you lied?”

you gulp. all of a sudden, the slimy wall is so interesting!

“stop avoiding my eyes, dammit!” bakugou comments, frustrated, and you inhale sharply.

“stop making me so nervous, then!”

uh oh. you shouldn’t have said that. it’s the game changer.

“i make you nervous?”

you don’t answer, hoping he drops it. he doesn’t, and he repeats the question. still, you can’t crumble just because he looks impatient, and you shrug non-committally. something tells you that the situation is steadily turning against you.

”hey, tell me. i make you nervous?” his grin is absolutely roguish as he waits for you to answer.

you still don’t speak, telling yourself that you won’t rise to the bait, you won’t respond to him because you’ve said way more than you needed to—

“weakling,” he sing-songs, and your jaw clenches.

“being nervous around someone isn’t necessarily a sign of weakness, bakugou. sometimes it’s also a sign of being wise.” there goes your plan.

“hah, are you saying that you’re wise for being nervous and avoiding me? what am i gonna do, eat you?”

“i don’t know, maybe executive some explosive murderous strategies?”

“i wouldn’t do that,” he spits out, running a hand through his hair. why is every pore of him screaming agitation? “it’s no fun defeating you when we’re not even competing.”

“oh really? then what’s your idea of fun?”

“when you tell me i make you nervous even though i’m not doing anything.”

“aren’t you supposed to be apologising to me?”

he snorts, “never. i only told you what some idiot thinks. but i can understand why you avoid me, i make you nervous after all.”

his self-satisfied laughter infuriates you, yet makes your own lips twitch.

he lets out a put-upon sigh, and scuffles the floor with his shoe.

“me too, dumbass.”

“huh?”

“you make me nervous too, idiot.”

“huh?”

face mere centimetres away from yours, he lowers his voice to a whisper, “i’ll only say this once, so keep your ears open if you want to know. i miscalculated. i thought you had a thing for me because you didn’t meet my damn eyes always gave pretty answers whenever you talked to me. but you didn’t. i was…” he gulps before clearing his throat, sounding far too aggressive in that moment before he practically grits out: “projecting. i was projecting because i’m apparently into you.”

you stare at him speechlessly. try as you might, you can’t think of a response. you don’t even know what he means by the last bit. surely he couldn’t mean…? why you, of all people? but you’re worried he might leave, his threat from earlier still rings clear. so you resign yourself into taking his words at face value and admitting the truth.

no, it’s not resignation. it’s the resolve you’ve been lacking for a while now, finally coming together after hearing that from bakugou. even if this is a cruel prank, you’ll survive. you just need to get it out before it consumes you and ends up being a what-if, years down the line.

“you may have projected, but it wasn’t a miscalculation. it’s… not entirely… unreciprocated. the feeling is mutual, you could say.”

it’s out now, and you’re alright. the ground doesn’t swallow you up, bakugou katsuki doesn’t blast you headfirst into slimy walls. nothing happens. the moment remains suspended in time, or perhaps time is suspended in that moment.

bakugou’s eyes narrow as he mulls over your words. he glares at you again. it’s muted.

“if it’s reciprocated, shouldn’t you be doing your best to cling to me every chance you get?”

him being reasonable and quiet puts you at ease. the words come out more easily.

“shouldn’t you have done the same?” he scoffs at your question, but doesn’t offer a response, so you continue, ”bakugou, you know why you avoided me, and i know why i avoided you. i didn’t want to get in your way. and i didn’t want anyone else to catch onto it.”

“was deku in on it?”

you know how he’ll respond if he knows midoriya had an inkling before him, so you hastily dispel the suspicion from his mind.

“you said you don’t know me well.”

“bakugou, you didn’t even remember me when we first met,” you reason with him, and he scowls. “it applies to both of us; we really don’t know each other enough.”

taking a deep breath, you continue, “as for the rest of it, i panicked. i admit i didn’t deal with the conversation as well as i should’ve, and some of the things that i said weren’t the nicest. i know it was hurtful even to kaminari, but i couldn’t help it.”

bakugou scoffs, “if anyone’s hurting, it’s only him. not that he has any reason to be.”

you wince as you’re reminded of the texts the boy sent you. now that you’re thinking clearly, you feel slightly bad for having been cold to him, and lied. but there are bigger matters at hand.

“you actually remember that conversation?”

“no shit, why else would i ask?”

“but… why? why do you remember it? that makes me feel a little guil–ty…” you trail off as sparks fly off his fingers, the explosion possibly unintentional. it allows you to see his face clearly in the dark, and the red tint to his ears surprises you. he’s glaring at the wall, not meeting your eyes, and your heart promptly melts.

“aw, bakugou, i didn’t know you cared—”

“shut the hell up!”

you wait for him to calm down as he sets off more explosions, but the smile on your face refuses to leave. he doesn’t seem to mind it either even as he glares at you, because there’s no harshness in his eyes.

“this doesn’t mean we’re dating,” he eventually declares, and you raise an eyebrow. “i won’t spend my time on things like that. we like each other, big deal.”

“i just said whatever you feel is not entirely unreciprocated. who says i like you?” you ask in a rare show of humour as you roll your eyes teasingly. sobering up, you nod slightly, “you could’ve worded it better, but i understand what you mean.” you hold up a hand to stop him from interrupting you. “don’t worry, i have no intention of getting in the way of something you’ve wanted practically your entire life, bakugou. it’d be stupid of me. and i know neither of us are ready for that level of commitment yet. it’s enough if we— you know…” you look at him pointedly, not wanting to utter the words. but it’s bakugou katsuki, and he’s run out of patience from after all the teasing you’ve subjected him to.

“it’s enough if we what—? tell me, i don’t know.” he leans in again, the petty side of him thriving. you’re starting to get used to his proximity; it’s what you tell yourself but you barely stop yourself from averting your eyes.

“i’m just saying it’s enough if we like each other. we can get to know each other slowly and that’s it. we don’t need to jump into something that has a low success rate in the first place.” he gives you an incredulous stare, and you elaborate, whistling, “high school flings are mostly just flings, bakugou.” it’s not the truth, but it’s not entirely a lie.

he makes a face at you. eventually, he exhales.

“so? you like me? can i ‘pass it off’ as that?”

“will you ever let that go?” you groan, and he only responds with a cocky tilt to his lips. “yes, i like you. i wonder why i do,” you huff. “why’d you bring me to a haunted house of all places?”

“so you could get scared and beg me to save you.”

(you make a note to yourself to tell uraraka later that it wasn’t a date. but truthfully, you’re not disappointed about that.)

you stare at him, unamused. “you scare me much more than any haunted house could.”

“then stop getting scared!”

from the way his face is angled away from yours, you’d almost think he’s pouting. your eyes move between his face and the steam—

you wait for his hand to stop steaming before reaching forward and taking hold of it.

you give him a wry smile.

he returns the gesture with the same wild eyes and disarming grin that first drew you to him.

…

word got out that someone had been threatening a visitor in the haunted house. bakugou’s friends are convinced that you both had another fallout—kaminari is too scared to even look in your direction. good for you, because he misses every time you and bakugou lock eyes.

you frequently find yourself stifling laughter.

— note :: thanks for reading!! :) please let me know how this was; a lot of effort went into it and I’m not sure how to feel about this, so feedback is really appreciated! :)

— taglist :: @kur0samu ; @mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law & @sorrythatspussynal ; @i-need-air. If you want to be removed from or added to my taglist (for bnha or all works), please send an ask. :)

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou imagines #bnha headcanons #bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki imagines #boku no hero academia imagines #bakugou katsuki x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia headcanons #mha headcanons #mha imagines #mha x reader #bnha #nia.inks

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jihyuncompass · 3 years

Note

Okay but have you considered...Shaw fake dating au 👀. Or for a less hard mode, maybe some fluffy flower shop au hcs for Jihyun? mwah!

You know what Shark? Both of these ideas are so good I’m going to do both.

The Jihyun headcanons will be posted separately, but enjoy some maybe a little too long Shaw fake dating AU.

Also, shoutout to my wonderful friend @stehkotori for her excellent Shaw wisdom and general encouragement during this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without her.

Please Say Yes

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into the plans for your newest program, you ask a certain someone to help you. But maybe there’s more to the two of you than you thought.

Shaw x MC

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: Some cursing, Drinking, Alcohol Mentions

----------------------------------------

“Hey boss?” Kiki said, sticking her head into the office. You tore your eyes away from the computer and looked up towards the office door. “I got some bad news.”

Your brow furrowed as you lifted your fingers from your keyboard. “What’s going on?” Kiki walked in and closed the door behind her.

“You know how the special couple’s program is getting filmed next week?” You recalled the proposal for that program, a challenge-based game show for couples to “test” their relationship. You’d liked the program idea, but it had been a pain to get Victor to approve the proposal. You were already cringing remembering the sheer amount of late nights the proposal required.

“Yeah I remember.” You said. “Why? Is everything okay?”

The way Kiki was rubbing her hands together wasn’t giving you much confidence. “One of the couples dropped out.” She said.

You tried to keep your jaw from dropping. Speaking carefully for your own sake. . “Why? What happened?”

Kiki sighed. “I guess she caught him cheating. They broke up a few days ago.” You set your pen back on your desk to cover your eyes with your hands.

“And we only found out now?”

“She just called me ten minutes ago. I guess she was too upset to remember to call.” Kiki frowned.

You groaned. “This is bad.” You whispered to yourself. “This is really bad.” Staring at your desk you tried to think of a solution. You needed that particular number of couples for the show, it was purposeful so you could have a good balance of personalities and relationships. As well as the challenges being built around the numbers. Now it was thrown off.

“Maybe we could find someone last minute? We could do a small last minute casting call?” Kiki suggested. You shook your head.

“The show starts taping in three days there’s not enough time.” You said, you weren’t about to call off the show because one couple dropped out. You couldn’t do that to the crew, not to mention how angry Victor would be about the wasted time and resources. You needed a solution and you needed one quick.

The gears in your head were quickly turning, this wasn’t a great situation, but maybe you could fix it.

“Boss?”

“Okay.” You sat up straight in your chair, you weren’t very confident in your plan, but it’s all you could think of right now. “I’ll step in for the missing couple.”

Kiki’s eyes widened. “You? But you aren’t dating anyone and we need a couple.”

“I’ll find someone, we’ll pretend to be a couple or something. At this point it doesn’t really matter.” You explained. “Let everyone know about the change in plans, I’ll let you know who’s coming with me.” Kiki nodded.

“You’re a savior boss!” Kiki said, turning on her heel to head back to her desk. Once the door closed you sighed loudly to yourself. Alright, now you just needed to find someone to do this with you, that shouldn’t be too hard. Right?

Wrong.

“This sucks.” You whispered to yourself. Throwing yourself down on your bed after work you pressed your face into your bedspread. The conversation from earlier was still echoing in your head.

You’d spent the rest of the day trying to think of who you could possibly ask to do this with you. Going through a mental list of every person you knew, and their likeliness of them saying yes.

At first you’d thought about asking Kiro, the two of you got along well and you’d think he’d go for the chance to spend a couple days with you. Except, he was also an international pop star and not only would Savin never allow it, but you didn’t really want to be harassed by an army of jealous Kiro fans online.

You then thought of Lucien, he’d always been kind enough to help you with programs in the past, but he was so busy you can’t imagine you’d be able to pull him away from his work to do this show. You also couldn’t really imagine his personality type on this time of program.

For a brief moment during a phone call earlier in the day you’d thought about asking Victor, however that idea was scrapped almost as soon as you thought of it. Victor was too high-profile for a show like this, on top of that he would never agree to pretend to date you for it. You’d have better luck getting a dead body to come on the show with you.

There was always Gavin but. Gavin was complicated.

On the other side of the bed your phone rang, breaking your train of thought. After a moment of groaning you pulled yourself up and propped yourself up on your elbows. “Hello?” You said, trying not to let the frustration in your mind seep into your words.

“What’s with that tone? Not happy to hear from me?” You held back another groan.

“No I’m just not in a great mood.” You started. On Shaw’s end you thought you could hear the sound of his skateboard on the pavement. “Are you calling me while skating right now?”

Shaw made a “humph” sound. “So what if I am? I’m smart enough not to hurt myself.” You still were convinced it was safe but you knew better than trying to argue with Shaw. That energy would be better spent on arguing with him on something important.

“Just be careful.” You said. “So, what do you need?”

“Why are you assuming I need something?” Shaw asked.

“Shaw you pretty much only call me to trick me into buying you dinner or to drag me along on whatever chaos you’ve decided on for that day.” You explained. Rolling onto your back you stared up at the ceiling.

From Shaw’s end it sounded like he had gotten off his board. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that the way to man’s heart is through his stomach?”

“Who ever said I was trying to get into your heart?”

“Just food for thought.” Shaw said. “Anyways, I’m on my way to yours right now. I’m in the mood for hotpot.”

You sat up, gasping at this boy’s audacity. “You are just trying to get me to buy you food!”

“I never said I wasn’t. I’ll be there in five, be ready for me.” The line went dead before you could shout at him. Finally allowing yourself to groan loudly you dragged yourself out of bed to at least put on a jacket and grab your keys and wallet.

Leaning against the wall of your apartment building you saw Shaw’s silhouette against the sunset. As expected he was racing down the sidewalk on his skateboard, when you met his eyes his lips pulled into his typical smirk.

“Waiting for me outside? Are you really that excited to see me?” Shaw said once he was close enough to be heard. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No! I just got ready quickly so I figured I’d get some fresh air!” You huffed. Despite your pout, Shaw’s smirk remained. “You said you wanted hotpot? There’s that place down the street. Let’s go there.” Shaw shrugged and held his board under his arm.

You sat across from Shaw. Between you the broth was boiling as Shaw added in the first hotpot ingredients. You propped your head up on your hand, like most evenings the post-work exhaustion had hit and you could already feel yourself fading and your eyes slipping closed. .

“Hey!” Shaw snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Stop daydreaming. Don’t waste your time with me like that.” You blinked a few times and looked back up to face him.

You sat up straighter to try and break out of your train of thought. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

Shaw squinted at you. “What’s with you today? You’re acting dumber than usual.” You almost wanted to throw some sarcastic comment back at him. Instead you just ended up sighing,

“Work stuff. Doesn’t matter.” You said leaning forward to look at the hotpot Shaw was checking on.

You needed this show to happen, you’d worked so hard to get it set up and figured out. You couldn’t let it fall apart because of this. Still, you needed someone, and you were running out of time. At this point you were about to call Minor and beg him to come with you.

After watching the pot for a long while your eyes fluttered up to look at Shaw. He was so focused on the food that he didn’t even seem to notice you looking at him. Watching him toss some more veggies into the pot your mind seemed to pause for a moment. A strange thought going through your mind.

“Hey Shaw.” You started.

“What?”

“I need to ask you something, and I need you to hear me out.” You said. Shaw looked back up at you now. “So there’s this show my company is filming next week.” You started

Shaw furrowed his brow. “What does this have to do with me?” You shot him a glare.

“I said hear me out!” You exclaimed. “It's a challenge based game show. A bunch of couples are going to have to undergo challenges to see how strong either relationship really is.” Shaw was staring at you, like he was waiting for you to get to the point. “Last second we had one of the couples drop out and so I need-”

Shaw rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to go on your show.” He said. “Besides, you said this is for couples. I’m not dating anyone.”

You leaned forward. “I wasn’t finished.” Shaw went back to stirring the hotpot shaking his head. “I would try and find a real couple, but filming starts on Monday and it’s already Friday night. I already offered to go on the show, I just need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.” Shaw kept eyeing you.

“So you want me to be your fake boyfriend?” You nodded. “Why me?” He asked. “Why not ask your beloved Officer Gavin or something. You know he'd say yes in a heartbeat” Shaw explained dropping more vegetables into the pot. You anxiously rubbed your hands together.

“I know he would. But-” You started. Staring at the bubbling pot as you bit your bottom lip. “I care about Gavin. A lot, he’s a kind and wonderful guy but…” Shaw raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I just see him as a friend and I don’t want him to get confused.” You said, glancing up you looked back at Shaw’s face.

You sat in silence as the hotpot cooked. You waited for Shaw to say something, look at you, anything. After a while you shook your head. “I shouldn’t have asked, forget it.” Shaw looked back up to you.

“Hey I never said I wouldn’t do it.” Shaw said.

“You weren’t saying anything!”

“I was thinking.” Shaw said and leaned back in his seat. “What’s in this for me?”

You were almost prepared for this. You sat up straighter in your seat, Shaw could be a hard sell, but he actually might be a perfect choice. His personality would add a lot of flavor to the show.

“First of all, it’s all expenses paid. Food, boarding, all of it, plus all the cast members do get compensated.” Shaw still didn’t seem convinced, he was almost worse than Victor, at least with Victor you could usually tell right away when he hated your proposals. “You’d get to be on TV of course-” Also no reaction, but the more you talked the more you wanted to convince him. “You’ll get to mess with me the whole time, and I’ll owe you big time.”

Shaw was still silent, as he dipped strips of meat into the broth to cook. “The show sounds kinda dumb.”

Balling your hands into fists you bit back the urge to get angry. “If you don’t want to do it you can just say no.” Ignoring you, Shaw pulled out his phone, you couldn’t see the screen but as he turned it towards him you thought you saw a text message flash across the screen.

A smirk pulled across Shaw’s lips. “Well today's your lucky day.” Shaw set his phone aside as your brow raised. “Sounds like Adam ate shit and sprained his wrist. Our performance this weekend is cancelled.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’ll live.” Shaw said. “Guess I could do this silly little show of yours.”

“You’ll do it?”

“Well I don’t have any other plans so why not, Jensen’s already elected to cancel the show.” Shaw said. You wanted to jump out and cheer. The show was going to go on, you had a replacement now. This was going to be okay, everything was going to be okay.

From the other side of the table Shaw was watching you, his eyebrow raised in confusion by your excitement. You didn’t even care that he was judging you with this gaze, you were far too happy to try and defend yourself.

With a subtle shake of his head, Shaw dropped the noodles into the pot, glancing back up at you he tried to hide the smirk on his face.

This was bound to be interesting.

--------------------------

You’d told Shaw you’d pick him up in the morning to take him to the filming location. Sitting in your car you waited for him to show up, you were more than familiar with his history of being late but of all days today was the one day you absolutely didn’t want him to be.

Tapping your fingers against the steering wheel you considered calling him. Telling him to get a move on, you couldn’t be late. Especially since you’re supposed to be on the show too.

Biting your nails you tried to think of when he could come out. Your eye on the clock you tried to think of how long it would take to get there, you couldn’t be late to your own show. Staring at the clock you didn’t even notice the movement in the corner of your eye.

“Oi!” You turned towards the passenger side window. Shaw was tapping his finger against the window leaning down so his face was level with yours in the car. You gave him a look.

“What?” You shouted so he could hear you. Shaw rolled his eyes, he made a show of

trying to open the car door to no avail. Your face turned beet red and you unlocked the door for him. Shaw plopped himself down in the passenger seat. Tossing a backpack into the backseat.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was locked.” You said.

“Do you usually keep it unlocked?�� Shaw asked with a glare in your direction.

“No!” You insisted while you rolled your eyes.

“You shouldn’t, only an idiot would keep their doors unlocked for any stranger to get in.” Shaw said, pulling the seat belt over his chest. You wanted to try and get back at him, say something,but instead you just rolled your eyes.

Shaw turned up the radio, he flipped through radio stations until he seemed to settle on something he liked. You kept mostly silent, conversations with Shaw usually came fairly naturally. He didn’t usually seem to have any issues when it came to finding something to talk about.

“We should probably have a story right?” Shaw said about ten minutes into the drive. His voice threw you off for a moment, your gaze turning back to him.

“Story?”

“For the show?” Shaw asked like it was supposed to be obvious.

“Oh!” You said, your cheeks burned a bit. Of course he’s thinking about the show right now. “You’re right we probably should. They’re going to ask us how we met.” You focused on the road, but shot a few quick glances at Shaw. “So, what should our story be?”

Shaw thought for a second, “We met on a bus. It’s not a lie.”

“That’s not a good story though.” You said. “It needs to be more interesting than that!” Shaw rolled his eyes. You fell into silence again as you tried to think of a story. Something believable but also interesting enough for the show.

“Maybe…” You said. “We met at a show at Live House. I went to blow off steam after work, you were there because you’re always there.” Shaw looked like he wanted to interject but you stopped him. “We met at the show and started talking, and that’s how we got together.”

Shaw tapped his fingers against the car door in rhythm with the music. “Seems believable enough.”

Together you ran over the details a few more times, making sure you both were clear on the story you would tell the cameras. Once you were both sure and rehearsed the car fell back into silence. You focused on the road while Shaw hummed along to the music on the radio. You knew his voice was good, you’d heard him perform in his band more than once. Still the warm tones of his voice drew you in. You were nearly forcing yourself to breathe silently so you could hear him better. You didn’t dare interrupt him, and he continued for the rest of the trip.

Once you’d pulled into the set you sat in the car for a moment. The closer you had gotten to set the more a knot started to grow in your stomach. You’d produced dozens of shows by this point but there was something different about actually being in the show this time. Knowing you’d have to be on camera made you feel much more nervous. Chewing on the inside of your lip you stared off into the distance, your gaze not fixating on anything in particular. Maybe offering to go on the show was a bad idea, maybe you should have just tried to find someone else to do this show. It’s too late though, you can’t back out now. You already dragged Shaw all the way here and into your mess.

In the passenger seat Shaw stopped his humming, you hadn’t even noticed until his voice was cutting into your thoughts.

“Weren’t you saying we were late shouldn’t we-” Shaw started. You tried to take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Shaw started to talk again, “Hey.” He said, his voice a little softer than his usual tone, you felt his warm hand rest on your shoulder. “Breathe. In for four seconds.” You didn’t have time to question him and followed his instructions. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath in. “Hold it.” He said after the four seconds were finished, you held your breath and kept your eyes closed. After about seven more seconds the grip on your shoulder loosened. “Exhale for eight.” Nodding you followed his instruction and exhaled.

When you finished Shaw’s hand on your shoulder tightened again. “Do it again.” He said, nodding you took the breath in for four and held it for seven, then another long breath out. You did this five more times. Until the tension in your shoulders released and you could think clearly again.

After a little while longer you let out a sigh. Shaw’s hand left your shoulder. You looked over at Shaw in the passenger seat.

“Thank you. I’m sorry for that.” You said. Beside you Shaw shrugged.

“Just remember to breathe and you’ll be fine.” Shaw said.

Pulling the key out of the ignition you took another deep breath. “How did you know how to do that?” You asked him.

Shaw reached into the backseat to grab his backpack. “It’s just a simple breathing exercise. It’s not rocket science.” Shaw looked out the window.

Taking in the set one more time from a distance you unlocked the doors. You and Shaw both shut the car doors. Standing next to you, Shaw elbowed you. “Are we waiting for something?”

After shaking your head you walked together into a set where production assistants rushed around to set things up. You recognized a few of the other couples from casting a few weeks ago. As you walked onto set, some people seemed to recognize you, waving at you when they saw you. You waved back greeting people as you passed.

Shaw mostly kept quiet as you greeted everyone, you noticed the way people would look at him. Even if he wasn’t speaking much there was still something striking about him. Maybe it was the lavender colored hair he swore was natural, or the little slits in one of his eyebrows. Or maybe it was that presence that Shaw had. A presence that demanded attention, something about him that just drew people towards him. At least to look at him.

Eventually the two of you settled into standing in a circle with some of the couples who were going to be on the show. All chattering excitedly with each other.

“I wonder what kinds of challenges they’re going to have us do.” One person asked. The others talked amongst themselves. You already knew what challenges were set up for the show. However you also didn’t want to let them in on the challenges. You held your tongue so not to say anything.

“Maybe it’ll be like the newlywed game?” Another person suggested.

“That seems a little generic.” A third person said. Shaw eyed you out of the corner of his eye. He obviously knew that you knew what the challenges would look like, still you didn’t say a word.

They discussed some of the other possible challenges. Some of their ideas were close to the truth or quite far off, still you kept quiet. You noticed that Shaw wasn’t throwing his own thoughts into the conversation. Right now, he almost seemed content to just listen right now.

Eventually the conversation shifted to how all the couples had met, around the circle of people couples started to tell their stories. Some met at work, one couple were high school sweethearts, another couple had met on a dating app, eventually every couple had told their story until it was just You and Shaw left.

The woman next to you turned towards you. “How about you two? You’ve been awfully quiet.” You looked at Shaw, who was smirking at you. You cleared your throat and rubbed the back of your neck.

“We met at a concert.” You said. “I went to see this local band I was a big fan of and-”

“I’m the bassist of the band.” Shaw interjected, you glared at him. He was actually going to alter the story? Right now? You attempted not to let your shock shine through, but the way Shaw was smirking he clearly recognized your surprise. “They had gotten themself into the front row. They kept staring at me the entire time I was on stage.” Shaw explained.

You pressed your lips together then continued the story after Shaw took a pause. “To be fair he kept staring at me too. He was constantly trying to get my attention.” Shaw’s trademarked smile didn’t falter. “Then, after the show he kept trying to get me to come backstage to talk to him.” You continued. You opened your mouth to try and say more but Shaw stopped you.

“Well babe it didn’t take much to get you to agree.” Shaw said leaning closer towards you. You tried not to let the newfound flush in your face show. “We went backstage and they just kept talking about how much they loved the band and how well I performed.” You held yourself back from hitting him. He was really determined to make you sound ridiculous.

“I am a pretty big fan so of course I was pretty excited to get to talk to him.” You explained. “We talked for a few hours and by the end of the night he was practically begging to come home with me.” This time, Shaw’s smile tightened. If he was going to make you sound ridiculous, you were going to make him sound just as silly. “I didn’t want to rush things so I gave him my number instead.”

Shaw put his arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him. He’s really trying to sell this act. “I of course accepted their number, but they just kept texting me ya’know.”

“So were you babe.” You shot back. “We were talking constantly, and he constantly asked me out to dinner for weeks.”

“Well I managed to wear you down eventually.” Shaw pulled you close again. “The rest is history.” Shaw finished. The circle seemed to be invested in your story. You hoped it sounded realistic enough to them, and based on their expressions. It must have been.

The woman who originally asked you grinned. “That’s such a cute story! And you both look so good together” She said. You thanked her. The red in your face was getting worse. As you stood here you became almost painfully aware of Shaw’s arm around your waist.

The group continued on their stories and conversations. You jumped in from time to time but didn’t still try to give away more details about you and Shaw’s fake relationship. The original story was already starting to fall apart, so you didn’t want to big yourself a hole so deep the two of you can’t explain your way out of it.

Behind you one of the production assistants shouted towards the group to get everyone’s attention. “Alright! We’re going to start shooting here pretty soon. Make yourselves pretty, eat something whatever you need to do!” Everyone nodded and gave a thumbs up to the production assistants. The couples started to peel away from the circle to get themselves ready.

“Aren’t you going to get ready?” Shaw asked.

“I am ready.” You said. Shaw looked you up and down twice. You crossed your arms over your chest. “I got ready before I got here. What about you?”

“What about me?” Shaw said, his smile turning more into a smirk. “I’ve never looked better.” You wanted to throw something at him, but instead you just took a long, stressed breath. Shaw’s arm dropped from your waist and leaned against the wall. Shaw shoved his hands into his jacket’s pockets.

You left Shaw on his own for a little while while you talked with the production team. They gave you their estimated itinerary and a general run down on how things have been going so far production wise. While you talked with them you noticed Shaw out of the corner of your eye, still watching you. His gaze never leaving your direction.

The director gathered everyone into a circle to explain the plan for the day. The shoot would take place over two days, with the cast and crew staying in a hotel not far from the shooting location.

“Alright.” The director started. “Here’s the game plan everyone. The first thing we’ll be

doing are introductory interviews. We’ll ask you a few questions about your histories and relationship. After that they’ll get started on the first challenge, any questions?” The whole cast glanced back and forth at one another.

The director answered a few questions but kept it brief. As he finished up, members of the production team started pulling couples aside for their interviews.

You and Shaw were called up second to last for your first interview.

“You’re fidgeting.” Shaw said as you got into your places. You curled your hands into little fists so they would stop playing with your clothes. You avoided showing your annoyance at him. After all, you were supposed to be acting as a couple.

The director sat up straight in his chair. “Alright you two are you ready?” You nodded, making one last check to make sure your hair looked alright. Beside you Shaw removed his hands from his pockets. He seemed rather casual about this, unlike yourself.

“We’re ready.” Shaw said. You took one last long breath before trying to put on your best on camera expression. Shaw on the other hand, looked completely unbothered as the crew finished setting up the audio and lights.

You watched as the director called for silence on the set. You tried to fight your shaking hands, your stage fright worse than you expected.

Shaw seemed to notice your anxiety, beside you, you heard him click his tongue. You were about to say something when Shaw took your shaking hand in his. Holding it tight. From the corner of your eye you tried to get a glimpse at Shaw’s expression. His face was the same slightly amused but fairly serious expression as always.

“Action!” The director called. You put a smile on for the camera and squeezed Shaw’s hand still holding yours.

“So-” The show’s host began. “Tell us about yourselves.”

The introductory interview went as well as it could have. You repeated the same story you’d decided on while you were on the way there. Shaw spoke with a confidence that surprised you. It reminded you of the way he looks when he performs on stage. Confident and self assured, maybe a little bit cocky, but mostly charismatic.

On the other hand you weren’t so confident in your performance. Multiple times you had to stop yourself from stuttering or getting panicked. Still, you managed to get through it. And once the director said you were finished you sighed deeply in relief. Once the director said cut. Shaw let go of your hand to shove it back into his jacket pocket, and while it took a while to notice, you felt a bit empty without him.

The rest of the day was just filming the show, doing games and challenges. Interspersed with more short interviews. Time seemed to move quickly, you hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until the sun had started to go down and you realized how your body was aching. Throughout the final challenge you were fighting to keep yourself standing despite your aching legs and headache blooming behind your eyes.

When the director called for the end of the night you really realized just how heavy your body was. Beside you Shaw seemed fine, near the end of the night he did seem to be moving a bit slower but he didn’t seem as tired, or as drained as you were.

You dragged yourself back to the car, the thought of a warm dinner and comfortable bed propelling you forward. Shaw beside you didn’t seem to be struggling nearly as much.

“Why are you walking so slow?” Shaw asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You frowned. “I’m tired. I’ve been on my feet all day.” Shaw’s expression didn’t change. You stopped in front of your car and sighed, your eyes were starting to feel heavy and your body felt like you could collapse at any moment.

Going through your bag you tried to find your keys. Shaw watched you with his typical somewhat judgemental gaze. Once you felt the keyring between your fingers you pulled the keys from your bag with a short sigh of relief.

But before you could unlock the car doors Shaw plucked the keys from your hand. You shot him a glare.

“Hey!” You started.

“You look like a dead man walking.” Shaw said. “You’ll kill us both.” Shaw slid into the driver seat. You opened and shut your mouth again, and after a moment of disbelief you sighed and got into the passenger’s seat.

“Do you need directions to the hotel?” You asked while you settled into your seat. Shaw turned the car on, pulling it into reverse.

“I’m hungry, let’s get food first.” Shaw said, turning to watch behind him as he backed out.

“The company is covering room service for everyone. We can just eat at the hotel.” You explained.

“Nah.” Shaw said. “I want to go somewhere else.”

“Do you know the area at all?”

“Nope.” The car pulled out of the parking spot, Shaw turned back to sit against the seat of the car. You wanted to argue with him, but you were too tired and knew better than arguing with him when you could hardly think straight.

You let your eyes slip closed while he drove. Shaw turned the radio on, but kept the volume low for you to rest. With your cheek pressed against the cool car window, your eyes opened from time to time to check on your surroundings.

Sneaking a glance at Shaw he was completely focused on the road. His face was blank and concentrated. You decided to trust him that he knew what he was doing, and that he wasn’t going to be crashing your car.

You were roused from your dozing when you felt the car stop. Opening your eyes, the car was stopped in front of a small takeout restaurant, a few people lingering in front.

Shaw glanced over at you. “Awake now?” He jeered.

“What is this place?” You asked as you looked back at the small building hardly larger than a food truck.

“It’s food.” Shaw said.

“Do you know if it’s any good?”

Shaw sighed loudly. “So many questions.” Pressing your lips together into a fine line you fought back the urge to argue with him. “Come on.” Shaw got out of the car and shut the door behind me. After taking a moment to collect yourself you got out and followed Shaw towards the building.

Once you’d gotten your food you both sat down at a picnic table a little ways away from the restaurant. You both dug into your food with no delay, after a long day of filming it seemed the two of you were both hungrier than you’d let on.

You watched Shaw while you ate. Something in you couldn’t help it, being around Shaw you always felt somewhat disoriented. You could rarely figure out what he was thinking, or even how he was really feeling. He always knew what to say to push your buttons, to make your face red and want to shout. Still, you found yourself spending more and more time with him, even if just to watch him. Seeing the small changes in his expressions, or the glint he got in his eye when he seemed amused or excited about something. How despite his facial expression you could always tell there was thoughts and emotions hidden under the surface that he would likely never share with you or anyone for that matter.

“Why are you staring at me?” Shaw asked, you blinked and cleared your throat. You hadn’t realized how long you were looking at him.

You looked down at the table and ignored the flush in your cheeks. “Sorry, I was just a little lost in thought.” You pushed some of the food around and took a few small bites. Now Shaw watched you while you tried to focus on your meal in front of you. You wondered what could possibly be going through his mind as he eyed you. The slightest bit of amusement in his eyes, his lips turned up in his signature teasing smile.

“Shaw, can I ask you something?” You asked. Shaw raised a slit eyebrow. “Why did you agree to do this show with me? I know it’s not something you’d normally be interested in.”

His smile shifted into a more neutral expression as he spoke. “I thought it could be entertaining.” Shaw said. “Besides, I didn’t have anything else to do so why not.”

“Because your gig was cancelled?” You asked.

Shaw didn’t meet your eyes, running a hand through his hair to push it from his eyes. “Yeah.” Although his answer was short, you had a feeling that it wasn’t the whole truth. That there as something else there. The issue was if you should push it or not.

“Can I ask you another question?”

Shaw looked you in the eyes, like he was trying to read your intentions. “What?”

“Why do you like being around me?” You asked. Shaw’s expression was still like stone. “You’re always messing with me, making fun of me, making me run around in circles. Why?”

He seemed to pick his answer carefully. He kept his expression guarded, yet you had a strange feeling looking at him. “It’s simple. You’re entertaining to watch.” Shaw said.

“That’s it? I’m like a TV show for you?” You said, despite the simplicity of his answer you felt almost a little, disappointed? His answer was simple, yet somehow you hoped he’d say more.

Shaw seemed to pick up on your disappointment. “Why do you look so upset? It makes you look uglier.”

Trying to keep yourself calm you held your breath. You didn’t want to lose your temper with him and yet you could feel the dam starting to crack. “I’m really just entertainment for you? Or someone to buy you hotpot when you’re hungry?”

Shaw smirked. “I like when you buy me cola too.”

“That’s not the point!” You insisted. “Am I someone important to you?”

The smirk on Shaw’s face fell, replaced with a slight frown. “Does it matter?”

“Is it wrong for me to want to know what you think of me?”

“It doesn’t matter. My opinion of you is meaningless.” Shaw said and took another bite. You pressed your lips together, again an odd feeling of disappointment took over again. Still you couldn’t quite determine why you felt that way.

You stared down at the table. “Well.” You started. “For the record. You’re someone important to me.” You said.

Shaw was quiet, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to look up at him. To see what his expression was. You rubbed your hands together, remembering the warmth of Shaw’s hand when he held yours during the first interview.

The silence lasted for quite a while. Your eyes stared focused on the table, avoiding Shaw’s eyes. Your heart felt like a jackhammer in your chest and no matter what you couldn’t seem to get it to slow down.

“I’m important to you?” Shaw said, his voice just hardly above a whisper. There was a quality in his voice, something that sounded almost vulnerable. Something that you’d never heard from him before.

Still, you kept your head down. “You are.” You spoke in a matching quiet tone. “You’re someone I care about. I don’t always understand you, but I want to.” You kept your clammy hands clasped together tightly, and your head bowed. Your appetite left as you sat there with the tension to thick you could cut through it.

After gathering your courage your eyes lifted to see Shaw’s face. He wasn’t looking at you, his eyes seemed focused somewhere else. His face was devoid of emotion, yet in his eyes you could catch some of that vulnerability.

“Shaw?” You asked. He didn’t answer you, staring into the middle distance. Your gaze fell to Shaw's hand, resting on the table. Watching him you remembered how warm his hand had been when he held it. How it seemed to calm you when you felt overwhelmed.

Moving slowly you took Shaw’s hand in yours. Shaw’s eyes broke from their trance to look at your hand. You tried to figure out what he was thinking, as you watched him the vulnerability in his eyes switched to what looked like panic, then a moment later. His expression closed off again into his usual neutral expression.

“You like holding my hand huh?” Shaw said, his voice also returning to its usual teasing tone. You glared at him then let the tension in your shoulder relax.

“If you don't like it you can tell me.” You snapped back.

Shaw’s lips curled into his classic smirk. “It’s not the worst.” He pushed the last bites of his food to the side with his other hand. “But your hand is all sweaty.”

You ‘humphed’ and tried to pull your hand away, but as you tried Shaw’s hand tightened around yours keeping you there. Once you realized that he didn’t want to let go of your hand you stopped pulling away. Letting his hand hold yours. Still, you did try and avoid his gaze. Something about the way his eyes seemed to pierce you managed to make your heart nearly stop.

“Are you done?” Shaw asked after some more time.

“Huh?” You looked back at him.

“With your food?” He said as if it was obvious. The tips of your ears turned red as you realized.

“Oh.” You looked down at the table. “Yeah I’m done.” Shaw’s hand left yours as he gathered up the trash from the table to throw it away. After you watched him for a while you got up from the table too. Your heart was still racing in your chest, though it wasn’t nearly as bad as before.

Shaw didn’t seem to mention or regard the moment that had just occurred. He threw away the trash and the two of you walked back to the car. You walked a bit behind him, your hand feeling cold without his. Clutching your hands together you tried to replicate that warmth, mostly to no avail.

This time you took the wheel to drive back to the hotel. Shaw leaned against the passenger seat and fiddled with the radio. You kept driving despite your heavy eyes, you could already imagine crawling under the bed covers to get some sleep.

------------------------

An unfortunate part of having Shaw be your fake date was needing to share a hotel room. You’d managed to quickly switch room types so there’d be two beds still. Sharing with him was far from ideal.

The feeling of crawling into bed was almost euphoric. The cool sheets and heavy comforter practically forced your eyes shut. You hardly cared for your surroundings as Shaw flipped through television channels. As you laid there you listened to his movements, constantly aware of his place in the room.

Being there your mind kept wandering back to that table where you ate dinner. The way you felt sitting there, with your hands clammy and heart racing. How strangely disappointed you’d felt when Shaw didn’t tell you what he was thinking. Then the vulnerability he showed for just that short moment. Why did he make you feel that way. Why did you care so much?

However, you fell asleep, before you could find your answer.

------------------------

When you woke up in the morning, your body was still heavy with sleep. At the sound of the alarm you and Shaw had both dragged yourselves out of bed to get ready for the second day of the film shoot.

The drive to the set consisted mostly of the two of you desperately downing cups of coffee to prepare for the day, hoping that maybe with enough coffee your leftover exhaustion would dissipate. With not much success unfortunately.

The second day of filing was much longer than the first day, and with the preparation from the day before everyone seemed to be moving much faster than it had the day before. By the time the two of you were on set, production assistants were moving everyone around to prepare for the first part of the day.

Even with the long shoot day time seemed to move quickly. The challenges moved quickly and you could barely process the passage of time until you were nearly the end of the day.

Before you knew it you were wrapping up and doing the final interviews. You stood in the same place you had the day before for the introductory interviews. Still with Shaw standing by your side and getting into the right position.

Yesterday you’d felt panicked doing that first interview. Today, your exhaustion seemed to override your anxiety and stage fright. As they prepared the cameras to shoot your hand felt cold again. Just like it had many times over the past two days.

“You two ready?” The director asked. Your head snapped up to acknowledge the director’s question.

“I’m ready.” Shaw said.

“Me too.” You said, clearing your throat. The director nodded then began the final interview. You answered the question and tried to ignore the voice in your head that told you to take Shaw’s hand again. As much as you wanted to, you clasped your hands together, desperate to ignore that voice that seemed to only get louder.

The shoot ended as the sun was going down. The last few rays of light still peaked over the horizon as the crew packed everything up and said their goodbyes.

The final remnants of daylight faded on the drive home. Your eyes kept falling shut but you forced them open as you drove the car. In the passenger seat Shaw stared out the window. He must have been feeling tired as well because he wasn’t talking as much as he usually would.

“Thank you.” You said as you stopped to drop Shaw off. “Thank you, again. For doing the show, I know it probably wasn’t your ideal way to spend your weekend but I hope maybe it was a little fun?”

“It was fine.” Shaw said. “It was pretty entertaining to watch you try so hard.”

“Well I wanted to give it a fair shot!” You explained. “But you did pretty good. I was really impressed.”

Shaw smirked. “I put effort into all the things I do. Even dumb things like that show.”

“Don’t you skip class like, constantly?”

“Sure but I still have top grades and an academic scholarship.” Shaw said. “Work smarter not harder.”

“Regardless.” You said to change the topic. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you, and I owe you. Big time.”

Shaw reached into the backseat to grab his bag. Sliding out of the passenger side door he leaned down to meet your eyes through the window. His gaze held that usual teasing tone of his, but this time something about that look was making your heart race.

“Well, I’ll keep in touch. Gotta get that big favor from you.” Shaw teased.

“Goodnight Shaw.” You said, fighting past your racing heart.

“Goodnight babe.” Shaw said. Your heart felt like it could break your ribs with how hard it beat, your cheeks and tips of your ears turning bright pink as he laughed and turned to walk away. Leaving you alone in your flustered state.

You drove away, your face bright red.

“That brat.” You hissed under your breath.

------------------------

You got a short day to rest after the shoot before returning to work. After that you went back to the office to get through the work that had started to pile up while you were preoccupied with the couple’s program. You had new proposals to write, other ones to flesh out and rework at the risk of another lecture and possible rejection from Victor.

The next week or so went past with little word from Shaw. You’d texted back and forth a few times. Mostly you giving him updates on the editing for the program, or him sending you some slightly teasing and maybe a little insulting jabs. Nothing out of the ordinary for the two of you.

Yet, with every message you reacted differently to how you would have before. A month ago, those messages would have annoyed you. Make you a bit frustrated before moving on with your day. Maybe trying to think of ways to tease him back for what he’s said.

Now though, it wasn’t like that. Every notification from him made your heart jump into your throat, every tease made you feel more flustered, the jabs even hurt at times. In a way they hadn’t before. When you responded you wanted to make him laugh, or maybe even say something nice.

You wanted him to like you.

The one thing you couldn’t figure out was when these feelings had started to change. When you started to care so much, when he started to mean so much to you. Had the change happened while you were filming the show? Maybe it was when you sat at that table eating dinner together, or maybe when he held your hand during that first interview.

Maybe you realized it subconsciously even before the shoot. Maybe you started to realize how you felt when you first asked him to be on the show. Even if you couldn’t quite place when you fell, it started to weigh heavier and heavier on your mind.

Fridays were the hardest day of the week in your opinion. Somehow they managed to be even more difficult than Mondays. You could see the weekend in sight and yet it was still so far away. The exhaustion of the week was starting to weigh on your shoulders. You’d already planned on spending most of your weekend resting and recovering. You had takeout menus set out and some television to catch up on.

Staring at the clock you watched the later hours of the afternoon tick by. The piles of proposals and unread emails felt like they were staring you in the face.

Your text chime threw you from your thoughts. Your eyes turned away from the brightness of your computer monitor. Pushing your desk chair away from your desk you leaned back and checked your phone.

Shaw: Oi. Are you working late tonight?

MC: I better not be.

Shaw: Good, come to the Live House tonight

You stared at the screen. Your tired eyes and end of the week exhaustion told you that you should just go home and sleep. Then, there was the other part of you, the part that felt excited about getting to see Shaw, and getting to spend time with him again. Even if he just ended up teasing you all night.

MC: I’ll go but I don’t know how long I can stay

Shaw: I’ll tell you when you can go home

Shaw: Meet me at 7. Isolated is performing tonight

MC: I’ll see you there.

There was just barely enough time for you to change clothes at home before you had to head out towards the Live House. You put on some more casual clothes, better suited for going out to a rock club rather than an office.

The evening air was cool against your skin. A light breeze blowing and rustling the tree branches. You walked down the sidewalk, passing others on their way to their Friday plans as you walked towards yours.

It didn’t take long to get into Live House. You got there early enough that a line hadn’t quite formed yet. Inside, loud rock music played over the speakers, you watched staff setting up amps and microphones for Isolated’s later performance. A sizable crowd of people was already starting to grow. With patrons first flocking towards the bar to start drinking before the show starts.

You pushed through the growing crowd of people to get to the bar. After managing to squeeze into the front of the bar you quickly tried to flag down a bartender.

You ordered your drink quickly to try and get out from the group flocking towards the bar. Your fingers tapped against the wood anxiously until the bartender slid your drink across the bar. Once the cup was in your hand you got out of the crowd quickly circling in on the bar.

Checking the time you leaned against the wall, there was still a few minutes before the performance started. You watched as people wandered around the venue, groups of people chatting together, others dancing along to the music playing over the speakers.

Sipping your drink you pulled out your phone. You’d hoped that maybe Shaw had texted you, even just to see if you had actually decided to come. After checking your messages and finding nothing, and after a long sip of your drink you sent Shaw a quick message.

MC: I’m at Live House, break a leg out there!

Nursing your drink you kept checking your phone for a response. Still as the time got closer to the show time you started to doubt that he would respond before he went on stage. Finishing your drink you shoved your phone back into your bag.

You pushed yourself through the thickening crowd near the front of the stage, and with some careful pushing and squeezing you finally managed to get into the front.

The moment Shaw was on stage your eyes were locked onto him. At first he didn’t notice you, getting himself positioned for the performance to start. It wasn’t until his bass was in his hands that his eyes swept across the venue, his eyes finally stopping when he saw you. His lips curled up into a smile, and as your eyes met his you smiled back, raising your hand to give him the smallest of waves. His expression shifted to a look you hadn’t quite seen before, he looked happy but also like was trying to hide it.

At the front of the stage Jensen introduced the band, the roar of the crowd breaking you from your trance. Your eyes quickly took in the rest of the stage, within a few moments of introducing the band they started the first song.

You nodded your head along with the music. This wasn’t the first time you’d heard this song, still your heart raced like it was the first time. You watched the band as they performed, Jensen singing the lyrics with a passion and intensity you could only get from a live performance.

While you did watch the band your eyes kept falling on Shaw as he played. Watching him perform was like nothing else. It was almost like he was a different person when he was up on stage with his bass. His guarded smirks melted away, his defenses seemed to come down, although he wasn’t really smiling up on stage he looked happier than you had almost ever seen him. Your eyes couldn’t move away from him, focused on his expression and the carefree way he moved and harmonized with Jensen’s voice.

You could hear your pulse in your ears, unable to keep yourself from moving to the music but your eyes never moving away from Shaw, watching him perform the world seemed to disappear around you, leaving only him in your vision.

Time had completely escaped you until the band was finishing their final song in the set. The crowd cheered loudly around you as they finished their final song.

Shaw, upon strumming his final note lifted his gaze to meet yours once again. His carefree expression looking straight at your excited and starry eyed face. He shot you a signature grin for a moment before his gaze was turned away to focus back on the band, although your eyes never left him until he left the stage.

Twenty minutes after Isolated finished their set, you noticed Adam and Jensen approaching the bar. Waving to you once they noticed you standing there.

“Hey! I thought I saw you in the crowd.” Jensen said, stopping when he was standing beside you.

“I was in the front.” You said. “You all did a great job out there.”

“Thanks, I think the crowd had a good energy tonight” Adam said.

A memory of what Shaw had said a few weeks ago flashed through your mind. “Oh Adam how’s your wrist? Is it better?”

Adam looked at you confused. “My wrist?”

“Yeah?” Your brows furrowed. “Shaw told me you sprained your wrist, which is why you had to cancel the show the other week.”

Jensen and Adam exchanged a look. “We didn’t cancel the performance. Shaw did.”

You blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“He texted us a few days before the performance and said he couldn’t come. Something else came up I guess? He wouldn’t tell us. It was really weird though, even for him.” Jensen said.

You stood in surprise for a moment or two, taking in what they had just told you.

“Shaw’s a strange guy. It’s water under the bridge now, it’s not like we’ve haven’t had to cancel performances last minute before.” Adam shrugged. You nodded with them, although your mind still stuck on what they had said.

Once they’d gotten their drinks Adam and Jensen slipped into the rest of the crowd away from the bar. Leaving you alone again for a few moments.

Shaw had made up the story about Adam being hurt. All so he could be on the show with you? Even though he’d pretended not to care? You thought of the way your cheeks burned when he sent you texts, or how sad you felt when he let go of your hand, or how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during the show. How somehow he’d managed to take over your mind.

Your mind replayed that scene at the hotpot restaurant when you’d asked him over and over. The way you wanted to convince him to agree so badly. Had that all really been for the sake of the show? You could have found someone else, you could have convinced Minor, or bit the bullet and asked Gavin. But you didn’t, you wanted him.

“There ya are.” Shaw said sliding in to stand beside you. You slid a glass over to him to a raised brow from Shaw.

“I ordered you a drink. Rum and mixed cola, your favorite.” Shaw picked up the glass, taking a small sip. “You did a really good job tonight, as always.” You said.

Shaw set the glass down on the bar. “I saw you watching me the whole show.”

“You always tell me to watch you, that I should only look at you on stage.” You reminded him.

Shaw’s smile grew. “That’s right. I’m the most important person for you to look at.” His smile made your heart speed up again, just like it had so many times recently.

After watching him take a few more sips you cleared your throat. “Shaw, can I ask you something? And you have to be honest.” He didn’t answer as he sipped his drink, but his expression gave you the go ahead. “Why did you agree to do the show with me?”

Shaw’s expression hardened. “Did you forget? Adam-”

“I know Adam didn’t sprain his wrist.” You interjected. “I asked him, he told me that he didn't.” Shaw was for once, seemingly silent although you could see the millions of thoughts going through his mind when you looked in his eyes.

You waited for Shaw to speak, but he still didn’t seem to know what exactly to say. The normally smooth and quick witted Shaw was still. So you continued. “I like you Shaw, and I think it’s more than a friend type of like.” You made sure your words were spoken carefully. “And, I think.” You took a deep breath in and out. “I think you may like me too. In a more than a friend way.”

Your heart was a lump in your throat, your hands a shaking mess as you spoke. You couldn’t even force yourself to look in Shaw’s eyes, afraid of what you’d see.

After some time you felt the familiar feeling of Shaw’s warm hand holding yours. Your gaze shifted just enough to stare at his hand, now tightly holding to you so your hand could stop shaking.

Building up your courage you forced yourself to look up at Shaw’s face. His amber eyes were staring right into your soul, his eyes showed emotion you rarely see in him. The vulnerability was back, this time, looking at you directly.

“Shaw?” You whispered. You knew he couldn’t hear you over the music, you couldn’t hear yourself over your racing heart.

Shaw was saying something. Quietly, so you couldn’t hear him over the music. HIs lips moved to say words you couldn't determine. You leaned forward hoping to catch what he was saying but still couldn’t hear him.

“Shaw I can’t hear-” Shaw cut you off, pulling you close to him, his lips hoving just beside your ear.

“You’re important to me.” He whispered. “And I do like you.”

Your cheeks burning, you turned your head to look in his eyes to determine his honesty. But what you found there was the same vulnerability, the same honesty, the softness you only saw in the most fleeting of moments.

The next moments happened without a single thought. You moved your head to kiss him, one hand holding his, the other on the back of his neck. Your heart beat faster than it ever had, but now instead of anxiety, it raced out of joy. Shaw’s other hand came up to hold your face to keep you there. Wanting to kiss you again and again.

Grinning as you put your arms around Shaw’s neck. and in your euphoria, you could hardly hear the voices of the group approaching the bar, loudly complaining about the sudden rain that had started seemingly out of nowhere, and their prediction that it wasn’t going to lighten up anytime soon.

You had a feeling they were right.

#mlqc #mlqc shaw #mldd #shaw ling #ling xiao #yeon siho #mr love queens choice #mr love fanfic #mr love game #shaw x mc

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pomegranates-and-blood · 3 years

Text

νοσταλγία (Chapter 20)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: This is a retelling/romantization of the Greek myth of Persephone’s abduction with Ivar as Hades and you as Persephone. The Reader character is a Byzantine woman, follower of the Greek Pantheon/Religion, and a devoted follower of Persephone. This takes place after 5A, but the universe of this is a little changed in relation with the series, of course. Thank you for giving it a chance, hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: The usual

A/N: So, here’s hoping you guys don’t hate this lol. Really, thank you for reading, hope you like it, and I look forward to hearing from you guys!

Sorry for posting this kinda early (just as it becomes saturday lol) but I suck at scheduling on tumblr and I can’t upload it tomorrow today morning. Thank you for understanding!

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax @pieces-by-me @angelofthorr @samsationalwilson

“I haven’t gotten a chance to congratulate you in person.” Freydis tells you as you approach a smiling Valdís and a few other women from the apothecary.

You offer a side smile, “You could have earlier,” You point out, meaning her previous approach to the throne. ��But you were too busy reminding Ivar of what rewards pain brings, so I understand.

She stops on her tracks, and you turn around with a raised eyebrow. She doesn’t deny it, you will grant her that.

For once, being the one with the knowledge, being the one certain and with solid ground under their feet; it feels like a small victory, you won’t lie.

“Don’t keep secrets from me, Freydis.” You warn her.

“Witch!” Valdís calls you over the ruckus of the ongoing feast, before ducking out of the way of an elder woman’s hit. The shieldmaiden smirks, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I meant my Queen.”

You shake your head with a laugh, and when you approach the shieldmaiden stands. She embraces you before you can react, and how you almost don’t reach her chin makes you feel once again like you are in a land of giants.

“Congratulations, may the Gods bless you both,” She whispers, honest and caring and utterly motherly in that brash way of hers. “For the woman you are, witch, I don’t think there could be a better man. Nor a better woman for the man he is.”

“You seem sure.”

Valdís shrugs, as if the answer is simple, obvious to all.

“He’d step over a less prideful woman, but a dumber one would get killed before long,” She whispers, face close to yours and eyes knowing as she smirks, “You’d shake off the fool that tried silencing you, but would scorn the one that didn’t challenge you.”

You remember when Sieghild heard of your betrothal to Narses, how she told you to fight, to fight the men in Greece, to fight the notions they had of you, to fight Narses; and you how retorted he was a good man that loved you, and that you wouldn’t fight him. Your mother’s words from that day echo in your head, certain and prophetic, you wouldn’t give your love without a fight.

You only look at Valdís with a slowly growing smile on your face, before questioning, “You speak so surely, yet I’m the arrogant little witch?”

“Well, you are small.”

She laughs at your affronted expression, and with an arm over your shoulders guides you to the table where the other women you’ve come to know and care for sit, who congratulate you and bow their heads in greeting. Before long the conversation between the women continues on other topics, and you allow yourself to drink and laugh and forget you are supposed to feel chained.

When you return to Ivar’s side, you find his eyes trained somewhere behind you, and even a blind woman would know his gaze -and his thoughts- linger on the stranger that embraced you.

“Who was that?”

You sit at his side and thank a thrall that hands you a goblet of mead with a smile, before answering, “Valdís, a shieldmaiden. A…a friend.”

“I don’t recognize her.”

“But you do recognize Freydis.” You blurt out before you can trap the words behind your lips, and Ivar turns his eyes to you.

“The slave.” He states, but it is a question. You nod, and adjust in your seat, trying to rid yourself of the nervous energy.

“She’s beautiful, surely not easy to forget. You’ve seen her with me before, yet you never told me you knew her,” You insist, careful eyes watching over the ongoing feast. When Ivar stays silent, you turn your gaze to him and find him smiling at you, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

From his throne, Ivar leans towards you, his hand moving your hair out of the way and his mouth almost by your ear as he whispers,

“If I didn’t know better, wife, I’d think you are jealous.”

“But you do know better.” You bite out and Gods, even a deaf man would hear the truth behind your words.

____

You are escorted in a truly bizarre fashion to your now shared room with Ivar, but you write it off to being some Norse tradition you couldn’t for the life of you understand, and try only not to flinch when the door to the rooms closes behind the last of the warriors, leaving you alone with your husband.

For the first time since you arrived in this kingdom of cold and death, you allow yourself to look at the bed in the King’s rooms.

It looks warmer than yours, spacious and surrounded in dark wood posters, with a leather panel on top. Are those chains hanging over it?

“Wife.” Ivar calls, taking your eyes off the bed and stalling the panic that started to set in your heart. You are still wondering what the chains are for, though.

You turn to him, joining your hands in front of you so you can make them stop shaking. He only signals for you to approach him where he stands, and you hesitate for a moment before you do so, taking him in.

He is a handsome man, and ever since Aneridge, much to your chagrin, you have known you want him. Even after he has imprisoned you, it would be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder what it would take to have the Viking underneath you, or the different ways you could make his proud façade crumble. If only, at times, in fantasies when you can be the one in power, or in rarer ones when you imagined what he could do to try and make you surrender to him.

Gods, infuriating and terrifying a man as he proves to be, you want him, like you have wanted no other.

Still, your father taught you the first sign of a people enslaved and defeated is when they go willingly to their enemies’ temples, to their enemies’ beds. You refuse to admit that you willingly lay with the man that took you captive, that forced you to be his wife.

When you walk in shaky legs until you stand before him, he says nothing, but a hand on your shoulder makes you turn your back to him.

It is with awkward gentleness that he moves your hair to the side. Not the tenderness of a cruel man failing at pretending, no; but rather the uncertain one of a man that knows nothing but war.

His fingers start making quick work of the laces at the back of your dress, and hoping you can make him ignore the tremble of your breath at his touch, the goosebumps on your skin at the ghost of a caress that goes down your spine; you ask,

“W-What do you Vikings do?” He hums in question, and you explain yourself, “For…for a bedding ceremony, or whatever it is.”

“We just went through it.”

“Your people have a reputation. Forgive me for thinking the loosening of a dress seems…tame.”

Ivar chuckles at your words, lowering his head and closing his eyes for a moment. Few times you’ve been able to make him laugh, and you’ve counted and cherished each one, but you do realize there’s something different about this time.

He’s tense, uncomfortable. Uncertain.

“Will you make me lay with you?” You ask, startling yourself at the brashness. Ivar shakes his head, a guarded coldness taking over his expression as he steps away from you. Still, against your every instinct, you push on, “You surely don’t have any qualms about forcing yourself upon me.

The way he says your name, a warning and a threat all in one, it makes your breath falter. You’ve never heard your name on his lips like that, like the warning sound a cornered beast makes before striking.

But you will sooner die than let a man make you fear him. So, you press,

“You abducted me and forced me to become your wife, you’ve shown you care not for my freedom to make a choice. Your honor or your desire to have me want you to aren’t stopping you.

An honest and shame-filled part of you knows you are only being like this because you hate being reminded of how close to surrender you’ve allowed to come. Wanting the man that took you captive, softening your heart for the King that forced you to be his wife, letting yourself feel something for the monster that took you from your people and home...you have no choice left but to remind him -and yourself- that you are no willing wife, no enamoured maiden.

“I can’t.”

You lift your eyebrows, the simple words stealing all words from your head.

“What do y-…?”

“Useless legs and useless cock,” He interrupts, tone disdainful as he gestures to his own body, “Boneless. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard the rumors.”

You shake your head mutely, for it is true no one has spoken of them to you.

He shrugs, the movement forced and unnatural.

“Well, it does not matter, now you know,” Oh, but it matters quite a lot, you gather. Still, you will say nothing of it, partly because you truly don’t know what you are supposed to say. Ivar doesn’t seem to want any words either, for he gestures towards you, “It is late and you are tired, go change.”

Who would have thought your wedding night would be the one night you actually obey him. You slip past him quietly until you are behind one of the partitions, and hear the telltale sounds of him settling in a seat by the hearth at the side of the bed as you start untangling your hair from the crown of flowers.

Shaking fingers trace over the dying and bloodied petals, and the reminder that, through a cruel twist of Fate, your Gods were here with you today; it calms you, it comforts you. It makes a small and easily quietened part of you regret the outburst.

You shrug off the red dress and leave it carefully folded for the thralls to pick up tomorrow, and put on the thin nightgown that will do nothing to protect you from Kattegat’s cold.

Your return to the King and find him sitting, with his hand by his mouth clearly thinking about something. When he sees you, he gestures with his hand to the bed.

“You can go ahead and sleep,” He instructs, and you nod your head and, with heavy limbs, move to the bed. But he stops you before you can move far with a call of your name, “If you dare try to divorce me on grounds of me not sleeping with you, I-…don’t.”

“Could I?”

“I’ll kill you if you ever try.” He promises, and it is a threat not for a second you believe to be a lie.

You accept his words with a curt nod, and realize you hadn’t actually thought of that. Being able to divorce him, not him killing you, of course.

That should have been your first thought, the rope thrown over the side of the boat that could help you climb to freedom. But you didn’t think of that, you didn’t think that at all, and it frightens you, the possibility of not seeing opportunities to escape for something as fickle as…

Never mind that. You close your eyes and, after considering your next words carefully, you insist,

“You know you don’t need a cock to sleep with a woman.”

“I will not lay with another woman that cannot stand to even touch me,” He states without hesitation, and though a part of you is dying to ask the story behind the words he speaks, you bite your tongue. “That is not what I want.”

“What is it you want, then?” You ask, turning around. And for the first time you do not demand to know the answer, you don’t intertwine accusations with the question. Your eyes search his and your voice hushes, “What did you marry me for? What do you want from me, Ivar?”

“I wanted to keep you at my side, make you my wife.”

But you shake your head stepping closer before you realize what you are doing. Your voice is quiet, soft, true, as you ask,

“Tell me, please. What do you want from me?”

His jaw clenches, and you notice his hands stay stiffly grasping at the armrest of his chair. His eyes search yours and the vulnerability in them shatters at something within you.

“Kiss me.” He whispers. A dare, a command, a plea.

It is not an answer to your question. And yet, Gods, is as honest an answer as you could ever get.

Your breath leaves your lungs in a shaky exhale, but you still step forward, closer, with certain steps.

Ivar stays still, as still as a marble statue and you reminisce of those first days in Aneridge, and how you thought you could shatter him with but a flick of your wrist.

But the realization that he could do the same to you settles within you like a rock on your stomach. No wrath, no fury, no cruelty, no King may have been able to make you cave, but…the vulnerability in his expression, the longing in his voice, the feeling of being lost written in his eyes, Ivar; makes your walls crumble and your heart stutter its beat.

You search his eyes and with one last shaky breath you lean down and press your lips to his.

He stiffens under your touch even if it wasn’t unexpected, he lets you lead his mouth moving against yours even if today he kissed you in front of a whole kingdom.

And you think of how many times you wanted to be the one to kiss him. There’s no use for lying, not anymore, not to yourself.

You think of Aneridge, and the foreign man you met when you lived in that fantasy where neither of you had names or lives outside of the two of you; and you know that if you had caved, if you had felt his kiss, you would have followed that man to the end of the world.

You think of those weeks of living in a limbo, where you could pretend there was no escape and yet lived without the invisible binds that today he set upon you; and you know it was only pride and shame what kept you from admitting you felt unburdened.

You think of the time since the certainty of this being Fate has set upon you, of what laid beyond the endless fight against the titles he wanted you to accept; and you know even if it lacerates at your heart and defies your very nature, you have felt safe, free.

Ivar chases after your lips when you pull away, tilting his head as if unwilling to part from your kiss. His eyes open and meet yours, and you lean closer once again, and kiss him again.

Not because he made you, not because anyone made you, because you choose to.

And with your choice comes a truth. What was it the witch said? It is easy to choose, it is not easy to live with what the choice we made says about us.

When you part a second time, your forehead rests against his and your breaths are one for a few moments.

And with your voice a hoarse whisper, you confess,

“If you had asked, I would have said yes.”

____

So...thoughts? Hope you liked this, really hope I don’t dissapoint with my writing that drags on and on.

Btw, ‘bedding’ traditions in Viking Age Scandinavia, as far as I could find, centered around the couple being escorted to their rooms/bed. Hence, the ‘we just went through it’ dialogue line. There’s so many Viking wedding things (and almost as many Ancient/Byzantine Greek wedding things) that I wish I could have included, but alas, I already ramble a lot with my writing, I don’t wanna bore you.

Thank you for reading, hope you have a nice day/night! Ik this chapter is kinda short and kinda open-ended, but this tuesday as scheduled chapter 21 us up :)

Love you all! <3

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #vikings #νοσταλγία masterlist

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riversofmars · 3 years

Note

Could you do a story where Thirteen bumps into the tenth doctor and Donna and thirteen pretends that she's not the doctor but then post-library river comes along and causes mischief please? Also I REALLY love your fics, especially The Oncoming Storm! Yours were the first fanfics I read and they're one of the few I like (I'm picky) so thanks for doing such brilliant stories!

Aww thank you so much, that’s very kind of you to say!! Sorry this took a little while longer, hope the wait was worth it! Turned out a bit longer than expected. Hope it sort of fits the brief lol! Really hope you like it!

Rating: G

Ship: Ten/River, Thirteen/River

Word count: 2400

Read on AO3 or below

River Song Has Been Saved

“Hang on a minute, Doctor.“ Donna walked back over to the TARDIS doors after the Doctor had closed them with a snap of his fingers. She thought she’d seen something, just as the doors had closed.

“What’s wrong?“ The Doctor frowned and followed her, both sticking their heads out.

“Oi, lady!“ Donna called stopping a young woman that had just strolled past the TARDIS and was heading back deeper into the Library. Everyone was supposed to be evacuated by now.

“Sorry?“ The woman looked around, blonde hair framing soft features and big eyes. She looked to them as if she hadn’t expected them to be there.

“You can’t go in there.“ The Doctor gestured to the door that lead further into the Library as they stepped out of the TARDIS again. Only a moment longer and they would have taken off and missed her sneaking in here.

“Ahh… so close. Just a bit too early, wasn’t I, hate it when I do that…“ The blonde said to herself more than anything else.

“Did you just come here? The planet has been sealed off for a hundred years, how did you…“ The Doctor frowned, confused as to how she’d got in.

“Yeah, been meaning to check it out.“ The woman grinned. “The hair is magnificent, isn’t it.“ She eyed the Doctor up who looked back at her utterly bewildered. There was something familiar about her.

“Do I know you?“ He asked.

“No absolutely not, never mind me, I’m sure you got important things to do, so.“ She gave a little wave, intend on heading off.

“You can’t go in there, we’re evacuating the planet.“ Donna backed up the Doctor.

“I know, you have a nice day now.“ The woman grinned.

“Sorry, I can’t let you do that.“ The Doctor was quick to overtake her and step in her way. “This place is gonna get swallowed up by flesh eating darkness soon, you might want to head out not in?“

“I got to check something out of the library, I’ll only be a minute.“ She waved off his warning and tried to push past him. “And like you say, the window of opportunity is closing, so, you should probably leave this place yourselves…“

“And you can’t find your book any other place?“ Donna asked dumbfounded.

“One of a kind, sorry, got to run.“ The blonde replied with a grin pushing past him.

“Alright, have a nice day as well.“ The Doctor let her pass.

“Thanks!“ She grinned and sprinted off.

“Doctor, you're not just gonna let her go, are you?“ Donna asked thoroughly confused watching her leave.

“Not a chance. Just giving her a head start.“ The Doctor winked and they headed after her, careful not to be spotted. They took cover behind some tables in the main area as the blonde headed straight for a computer terminal.

“That was close, stupid box, always with the timing…“ She was mumbling to herself. “Couldn’t have hung on two minutes…“ Without further ado, she started pulling some sort of electrical equipment from the pockets of her impressive coat. There were a lot of parts to it and Donna couldn’t believe it all somehow fit into her pockets. They watched her as she hooked up the equipment to the computer.

“What is she doing?“ Donna whispered to the Doctor who shrugged.

“I’m more concerned with who she is… whatever she is doing, that’s complicated tech…“ He mused, watching in fascination as she continued her work.

“Ouch… alright then.“ The blonde pulled her hands away as she seemed to have gotten an electric shock. She stood and engaged the computer terminal. “CAL, hi, sorry, I know, bit confusing, different face.“ She started talking to the computer and the Doctor and Donna exchanged concerned looks. How did she know about CAL? What she was saying was making very little sense to them without the second half of the conversation. They couldn’t make out what CAL responded. “Just popping in to get what’s mine, alright? Don’t freak out, it’s really me. Can you put her on?“ There was a moment of silence. Neither Donna nor the Doctor said anything but there were only very few people she should be looking to talk to on that computer. This was about to get even more investing than the whole experience had been already. “Hello Sweetie. Surprise! This is gonna be great, you’re gonna love this, had Dorium track it down for me, took a while but here we are.“ The woman sounded thoroughly excited. “Get you coat, honey, let’s see if it works.“ She took a step backwards and pulled something from her coat pocket, pointing it at the computer. Sparks flew and the mechanism engaged.

“Can’t have come cheap, that.“

“Dorium Maldovar is known drive a hard bargain, she must be a hacker or criminal of some kind to have those kinds of ties.“ The Doctor mused, trying to make sense of what they were picking up.

“Perhaps Dorium just owes her a favour…“

“Dorium doesn’t do favours.“ He huffed. It was a ridiculous notion.

“He will.“

“Doctor.“ Donna touched her hand to his arm.

“Shush, Donna, I don’t want to lose the element of surprise.“ He kept his eyes firmly on the woman in the middle of the room who was looking around now, apparently waiting to see if whatever she had tried to do had worked.

“Doctor.“ Donna repeated.

“How much longer until he notices, you think?“

“Doctor?!“ Donna grabbed the Doctor by the shoulder and pulled him around.

“Donna, what?!“ He growled but stopped dead in his tacks when he found River Song standing behind them. He had been having a conversation with her without even realising it. She was dressed in a white flowing dress, a stark contrast to the environmental suit he’d only seen her in, and a grinned spread across her beautiful features.

“Hello, Sweetie.“ She chuckled.

“Oh my God, River, what, how…“ The Doctor couldn’t find words.

“Well, Sweetie, what do you think?“ River grinned at the Doctor.

“Of what?“ He was still in shock. He had watched her die only hours ago, he had managed to somehow, miraculously save her consciousness and now suddenly she was here again? “How did you get out of the computer? What did she do?“

“Some sort of teleport I believe, but like a really clever 3D printer, materialise the body, download the consciousness, boom, brand new wife.“ River explained, enjoying the dumbfound expression on both their faces.

“River!!“ The blonde had finally spotted her and River waved to her.

“Speaking of wife…“ River smirked and the Doctor exclaimed:

“Wife?! I thought you and me, we…“ He looked around to the woman heading straight for them, feeling a wave of jealousy. He knew he’d technically only met River today but he knew how important she would become to him.

“We are.“ River chuckled giving his an amused smirk: “But you know, you can’t talk, all I’m gonna say is: Elizabeth I… so…“ She couldn’t carry on as the blonde rushed around the counter and threw herself at River who pulled her close and twirled her around.

“River.“ The mystery woman took her face in her hands, tears welling up in her eyes, clearly overcome with emotion.

“Hello, Sweetie.“ River smiled the softest of smiles and leaned in to kiss her.

“Sooo… how do you feel about this?“ Donna looked to the Doctor, feeling like they were intruding on a private moment. “You think we should go, or…“ She could tell from the annoyed expression on the Doctor’s face, however, that he had no intention of just leaving it be. He pulled himself up to full height and cleared his throat.

“Okay, so thank you for saving my future…“

“Wife.“ River helpfully supplied the word as they stopped kissing and just held each other close.

“Whatever she is. But who are you?“ He jabbed his finger at the blonde.

“You haven’t figured it out yet?“ The woman let go of River, seemingly reluctantly, and turned to face him. She kept her hand intertwined with River’s.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy River isn’t dead but my future self spent a lot of time thinking about how to save her and then you just waltz in here having to do one better?“ The Doctor crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Well, sadly, you’ll not remember that I came here.“ The woman replied.

“What?“ Donna was utterly confused now.

“Why not?“ The Doctor demanded to know, unsure whether or not that was supposed to be a threat.

“God, you’re slow. Did I give you a concussion when I knocked you out?“ River raised her eyebrows playfully.

“Maybe it’s cause of the hair spray…“ The blonde mused.

“I don’t use…“ The Doctor was going to protest but River had already changed directions:

“Don’t tell me you’re not using hairspray now.“ She ran her hand through the other woman’s blonde bob.

“Naturally falls like that, thank you very much.“ She huffed in response. “Regeneration is a lottery as you should know by now.“

“Are you a timelord?!“ The Doctor exclaimed, not sure how to interpret the statement.

“Yes.“ The blonde replied in amusement.

“But I thought I was the last…“ The Doctor stared back at her in shock.

“Yes, which makes me…“

“You can’t be.“ He shook his head.

“Yes I am the…“ The blonde started but the didn’t allow her to finish.

“You can’t be the Master, he…“

“So close.“ The mystery woman sighed hanging her head theatrically.

“It’s like watching one of those dumb and dumber movies, isn’t it.“ River chuckled to Donna who had long given up trying to follow.

“Hang on!“ The Doctor exclaimed as the penny dropped.

“Yes, crossing time streams, you won’t remember this because you are crossing your own time stream right now! I am you.“ The blonde Doctor sighed, she couldn’t believe she had to spell it out for him like that.

“Pretty boy and pretty girl.“ Donna found herself chuckling almost involuntarily.

“Aren’t they?“ River agreed with a smirk. “The mind races.“

“River. Shut up!“ The Doctor chanted in unison.

“But you’re short!“ The younger Doctor groaned in annoyance as he looked her up and down.

“I am actually rather average height, as it happens! Why does everyone call me small?!“ The older Doctor huffed. “Did I really use to be so obsessed with my height?!“

“Size isn’t everything, darling.“ River pipped up.

“Still not ginger then.“ The younger Doctor carried on.

“None of the next four, no.“ She replied with a shrug.

“Four more regenerations and only now did you work out how to save her?“ He exclaimed looking to River.

“I actually gave her the screwdriver last time we met, thank you very much. One step at a time.“ The older Doctor huffed and turned to her wife: “I booked that suite on Darillium again, by the way, for a few nights, just, you know, if you haven’t got any other plans.“

“Well, this is going to be a whole new experience.“ River smirked looking her up and down. This was the first she was seeing of her spouse’s most recent regeneration and she was beyond intrigued.

“Like it?“ The blonde Doctor asked with a little smirk and River grinned:

“Love it.“

“I don’t like her. Do you like her?“ The younger Doctor turned to Donna, just as his future self pulled their wife in for another kiss.

“Are you jealous of yourself?“ Donna teased and he gave her a playful shove.

“So you’re really him? Just older?“ Donna turned to the future Doctor, still struggling to believe that they were the same person. She knew what regeneration meant but it wasn’t like she’d ever seen the result of one.

“Different face, same dumbass.“ The Doctor retorted with a grin.

“Well done for saving her, Doctor.“ Donna smiled as they looked to River who said her goodbyes to the younger Doctor at present. “She really needed you, this version of you.“ Donna thought back to how devastated River had been at the total lack of recognition on the Doctor’s part. She had missed her Doctor so very much.

“I know. I remember.“ The Doctor gave a sad sort of smile as she thought back to when she had first met River, remembering the pain and sorrow in her eyes. “Donna, I can’t know, you know. You can’t tell me, else I might not get here, details my change and a paradox will be created if I know River lived.“ The Doctor turned to her to explain and Donna nodded slowly, they had mentioned it on the way back to the TARDIS already. This Doctor’s TARDIS was parked right behind their’s where they hadn’t been able to spot it as they got out. “Just be there for him. He’s already struggling, even if he doesn’t show it, even if he doesn’t know her yet, he still knows what and who he’s lost.“ The Doctor tried her best to explain to her what was going on in her younger self’s head.

“How long as it been for you? Since she died. How long have had to carry that with you?“ Donna asked taking her hand comfortingly.

“Some questions are better left unanswered.“ The Doctor shook her head and smiled. “It was good to see you, Donna.“ She pulled her into a hug.

“It was good to meet you, this version of you.“ Donna smiled and let her go, just as River and the other Doctor joined them.

“Well done, Doctor.“ The younger Doctor smiled and extended his hand to her.

“You too, Doctor.“ The blonde smile in return and shook his hand.

“You sure you don’t want to come in for a cup of tea, or…“ River suggested pointing to the TARDIS:

“Down, girl.“ The older Doctor smirked and took her hand in hers.

“You’ll be seeing me again soon, Doctor.“ River smiled at the younger Doctor who grinned:

“I look forward to it.“

“No telling.“ The older Doctor reminded Donna who nodded and smiled:

“My lips are sealed.“

“Now about that suite.“ River smirked at her wife as they turned to their TARDIS.

“Think the TARDIS bedroom will do for now, don’t you?“ The Doctor chuckled as she unlocked the door.

“Bedroom, kitchen, console room, wardrobe hall…“ River smirked and pulled her inside.

“Good for you, Doctor, so you’re not an eternal virgin then.“ Donna teased pulling her Doctor along to their TARDIS before he could get any more jealous.

#Doctor who #River song #river song x thirteen #fanfiction #thirteenth doctor #river x thirteen #space wives #thirteen #river x the doctor #femslash #Ten #tenth doctor #Donna nobel #River x ten #Prompt #Fluff #Library fix it #Fix it #Humour

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catboymingi · 3 years

Text

dumb and dumber

navi/masterlist

pairing: wooyoung x (gn!) reader

genre: slight angst & crack, fluff; requested!

word count: 1.5k

warnings: a little language, insecurities

hello pls may i request something w wooyoung - we know he is sometimes dumb and says things without thinking so could i req something where he accidentally upsets his girlfriend / s/o and maybe one of the boys has to explain why they're upset n it's fluffy at the end ??

a/n: i hope you like this! i hope it’s fluffy enough and also i was informed it is one (1) man’s birthday today so happy birthday wooyoung!

you were playing some game with the boys, mafia, a game you, in all honesty, had no idea about, hadn’t played before, and it was because of this that the evening escalated the way it did.

“we found the idiot!”, your boyfriend joked when you lost the game for the fourth time in a row, and even though you knew he didn’t mean it it still hurt, especially when being stupid was one of your biggest insecurities, when you were constantly worrying about being less than perfect at your school work, at your tests, at everything that required some intellectual abilities. you’d never been very good at handicrafts, so your brain was all you had, in a way, or that’s what it felt like. and now wooyoung had called you an idiot for not knowing how the game worked and hadn’t even realised that you turned quiet, teasing you some more about being so smart but then losing against him when it came to this game.

“wooyoung”, seonghwa, the oldest of the group, warned him, but he didn’t seem to notice, smiling brightly at you even when you turned away from him because you couldn’t stand to see his face when he was being so annoying and rubbing it in your face that you weren’t as smart as you pretended you were, that it was all empty words.

“i get it, wooyoung”, you snapped about two seconds later, getting up from where you were seated and your boyfriend’s hand dropping from your knee as you did so.

“baby?”, because now he, too, had realised that something was wrong, especially when you hissed at him: “call me idiot instead.”

and then, before he’d had the chance to think about just what he might have done wrong, you went off to mingi’s room - the boys all liked you and it was the only single room and in this moment you really were just too upset to think much about anything -, telling wooyoung that mingi would get his bed tonight and he’d be sleeping on the couch.

“what did i do?”, with wide, genuinely innocent eyes, looking at his friends that seemed about as surprised by your outburst as he was, though they were able to tell how what he’d said had upset you, and greatly so.

“wooyoung”, hongjoong sighed, and the confused look on his friend’s face made hongjoong want to sigh again.

“you shouldn’t have called her an idiot”, he elaborated, though wooyoung still seemed a little uncertain about just what he’d done wrong.

“but we call each other names all the time!”, because that was true, you’d tease each other a lot, though you at least always made sure to tell him you didn’t mean it and that you loved him the way he was. he hadn’t noticed that his teasing had hurt you a little in the past already, too.

“maybe they don’t like that”, mingi let him know, being able to understand how it felt when people had a certain image of you in mind that you didn’t want to challenge by suddenly being “less fun”.

“but they’ve never said anything?”

he seemed so lost and his friends almost felt a little sorry for him, but then they heard one very loud sob from mingi’s room and they knew wooyoung would have to apologise, and soon, and genuinely.

“i think they didn’t want to be a party pooper”, yunho said, and they could near hear the gears shift in their smaller friend’s head.

“you know they’re scared of being stupid, woo”, san told him with a soft, considerate voice, because he knew that wooyoung sometimes had a hard time realising that things weren’t as fun as he thought they were, and that he needed it spelled out for him at times that things genuinely hurt.

“they’re scared of not being good enough or smart enough, and they’ve been frustrated all night for always losing because they didn’t really get it. so you probably just rubbed it in their face that they’re not good enough, even though we know you didn’t mean it that way.”

“oh”, and now he finally understood. “oh, shit, i messed up really bad”, and as if to confirm it your sobs got louder, making everyone’s heart hurt.

“i’ll fix it”, jumping up and bolting to mingi’s room, faster than lightning would be if it were human, knocking at the door desperately because he wanted to hug you and tell you that you were the smartest person he knew.

“baby, y/n, i’ll sleep on the couch, i’m not trying to get to sleep in a bed, but please let me in. you can kick me out whenever”, whining a little because he didn’t like being in front of the door when you were crying your eyes out behind it.

“isn’t that stupid, wooyoung? letting you in to kick you out again? though i guess there’s not much better to expect from me.”

“no, baby, no, there’s not much better to expect from me, i didn’t mean it. please let me in, i’ll steal shiber, if you want”, because he knew you had a soft spot for the dog plushie and he also knew this would very clearly show his love because san might just kill him if he tried.

this worked, though, no stealing required, because you unlocked the door and wooyoung near threw himself into your arms because he wanted to hold you and hug you and comfort you, he wanted to make up for all his stupid words.

“i’m sorry”, he almost yelled into your ear, causing you to flinch, so he turned down his volume a little, “i’m sorry for saying that because i didn’t mean it at all. i don’t think you’re stupid, your iq is probably twice as high as mine and you’re so smart and you know so many things and you’re also beautiful because i know i’ve called you names to tease you but i didn’t mean any of them, you’re beautiful and i love your jokes and your laugh and you don’t ever annoy me and i also love it when you drool on my pillow or even my chest at night because it means you’re really comfortable and all the things i tease you about i only do because i wouldn’t have thought you think i mean it, because it’s so obvious that you’re so perfect and kind and-”

and even though your hurt heart loved him sweet-talking you like this you couldn’t have him feel so bad when you were no longer as upset as he feared you were.

“woo”, you interrupted his loving and guilty monologue, “it’s okay.”

“no, it’s not, i made you cry and now you’re trying to make me feel better again even though i upset you and i called you stupid when i’m the idiot for not realising that it hurt and-”

and again you had to interrupt, even if just to make him breathe in some air again, something he seemed to be neglecting as he rambled on.

“woo, really, it’s okay”, though your voice was still shaky from crying.

“it’s not okay but if you don’t hate me it’s a little better”, his arms that were wrapped around you pressing you against him even tighter.

“as if i’d hate you. i’m dating your silly ass”, you tried to joke, hoping he’d finally stop beating himself up over it if you’d make a joke.

“and i promise i’ll keep it in mind and i won’t say things like that anymore, or i’ll apologise, at least, you know sometimes my mouth moves too fast. but i promise you i don’t dislike anything about you, except when you steal my favourite shirts, but even that’s okay because it just shows me you love me. okay?”

what exactly he wanted an okay to you didn’t know, but you said it anyway, “okay” with a sweet smile sent his way, and he squished your cheeks as he pulled you in to kiss you.

“i’m stupid”, he let you know, “for ever calling you stupid. i’m stupid”, and he sounded almost proud to have come to that conclusion, and finally, you laughed.

“you’re not stupid. just a little slow sometimes, but i love you anyway. just like this.”

“and i love you, i really do, and i’ll even sleep on the couch because i know i messed up and i deserve it. and even when i’m stupid and don’t realise how you feel, i still know that i love you. don’t doubt that. and please don’t actually make me sleep on the couch.”

you laughed, but you knew you wouldn’t make him, not when he was sweet like that, peppering your face in cute kisses. it had mainly been an empty threat, anyway, because even when he was the one to make you feel bad he was the one you wanted to hold at night to feel better again. still, now it was your turn to tease him a little, just a little.

“we’ll see”, but the teasing didn’t last long because he looked resigned and pouted as he accepted his fate of sleeping on the couch, “as if i could ever kick you out when you’re cute like that.”

and now both of you were smiling again.

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neon-writing-pot · 4 years

Text

Marinette and her blog, The aftermath

Written while in the middle of waiting for my first ever mri, fucking terrified

The next day was just as chaotic as the first except it was so, so much dumber when Marinette had enough of holding the only brain cell of the class. She really didn’t expect it to spiral as much as it did but the recording that Nathaniel had made was worth it.

Lila’s newest claim was simple enough, Marigold had gotten sick and would be taking a day off to see her. Then it got out of hand. “Oh, Alya I’m so sorry but you can’t visit us since we’ll be on a date and I wouldn’t want her being embarrassed when she’s still getting used to herself!” Marinette couldn’t hold herself back, she was able to handle the ‘friends’ talk but that was to far.

“Oh and where the hell do you plan to have you’re date Marigold even though she doesn’t like you” Marinette hissed, leaning over her desk. Lila sent her a quick glare to her as Alya quickly came to her defence

“Girl shut up! We all know you have no idea who she is, you didn’t even know who Mari-gold was until yesterday so stop being an attention whore and give it up and let them be a cute couple.” Marinette visibly gagged as she mentioned them as a couple which alisated confused reactions from others.

“What about her only male crushes, or her very male person she had a date with, or maybe the fact she doesn’t state she’s bi?”

“W-well obviously s-she’s embarrassed!” Alya shouted resulting in a raised eyebrow from both Marinette and some of her older followers.

“Alya she uses tumblr, one of the most accepting sites for lgbt people (most of the time) why on tumblr would she not say that.” Chloe drawled gaining an approving smile, Nods came from fellow classmates as Alya began to grab at empty thoughts

“Because she wouldn’t want to swamp Lila with all the attention she had.”

“Then what about her very real boyfriend.” Alya blanched as shock flooded Lila, she’d only read her most recent post to get an idea of what to say, she never saw anything like that.

“Stop being so Biphobic Marinette we just want to be happy!” Alya hugged Lila as the situation slowly died. Sighing she turned to Nathaniel motioning for his phone.

“What are you doing?” Smirking she simply stared.

“Getting some quality content.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

She’d spent the next night drawing over every single one of her classmates faces for the only purpose, spite. If she had to deal with that then so would the whole internet along with the added bonus of allowing her and Nathaniel a full show of the chaos.

And it was glorious, both she and Nathaniel had come in early to see how others reacted the news. Chloe seemed oddly happy when she came in already watching the video three times over and silently messaged her thanks. Rose came in slowly hiding behind Juleka as they made their way forward, tears brimming on the edge of her eyes Rose murmured out an apology while Juleka comforted her, even for Marinette’s grudge of the class the two did nothing to harm her and tried their best to warn her of anything horrible the others would attempt and were the only ones she forgave.

Kim and Alix where next, Alix to stubborn to attempt an apology while Kim shuffled towards her in dismay. “Look I’m sorry ‘nette, I- uh never meant to hurt you and I was wondering if you could make a banner for next week” Marinette was nearly impressed by the idea that he had turned his apology into a request without knowing it but she was annoyed none the less.

“You just apologised to me, for purposely hurting and humiliating me and yet ask me, to my face if I would do something for someone I wouldn’t think of as a friend for free?” Kim lightly nodded as Marinette sighed eyes narrowing “Well Kong, find someone else who will do your dirty work for free.”

Most followed in a similar suit, a request hidden behind in an apology only done because someone with power had shown them they done wrong, all until Alya. Apparently the girl wasn’t as avid a fan other class members and had never watched the video. Her mood was bright and sunny as she came in only to have in rained on as she witnessed another student apologise to the new bully of the class. “What the heck are you doing?! Why would apologise to someone as horrible as her, she’s hurt Lila so much!” Alya shouted as Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Guess you haven’t seen the latest news Apple.” Alya froze, rage bubbling

“What- don’t you EVER compare me to that HALF ASSED excuse of a reporter, you don’t have the right Marinette with you being worse than Lily.” Marinette barely held back laughter as Alya insulted herself only stopping when the video was shoved in her face. Alya’s face turned from anger to disgust as she realised what was playing in front of her, who’s voice was screaming at her idol, her own. Paling she looked up and turned to Marinette, “You need to take this down.” Marinette blinked, once, twice and it was still the same thing, a demand.

“Of course-“ Alya cut her off with a smile

“Great now I was wondering if you could promote the Ladyblog a little bit, since we’re friends after all.” Marinette was appalled, hell she was ready to jump over her desk and tackle her if Nathaniel wasn’t holding her down. So taking in a deep breathe she responded.

“Of course if you take down every video of or mentioning me from the ladyblog.” Alya once again paled, that was half her content- more than half even it would tank her blog and she wouldn’t be able to recover without Marinette.

“You have to be kidding me Mari, we made this together it would ruin all our hard work!” She pleaded, weary of worse to come.

“You ruining my work, harassing and teasing me then begging me to spare you from the internet isn’t helping you. So enjoy your tabloid and be glad no one knows your name.” Marinette hissed sitting down just as the door opened to a badly timed Lila.

“You have no idea how well my date with Marigold went so Alya want to-“ Alya stormed towards her red faced as Lila became confused. “Is something wrong bestie?”

“Yes, Lila there is!”

“Well then wh-“

“How could you lie to me! You ruined my blog, you ruined my chances at being a reporter. How dare you pretend to be friends with me while I hurt my friend.” Alya screamed into her face as Lila backed away.

“I swear I can explain!”

“You don’t have to! I already know you’re a two faced bitch so stop talking to me and my friends.” Storming she marched back to Marinette squeezing between her and Nathaniel. Furrowing her brow Marinette rose and stared down at Alya.

“What are you doing Alya?” Marinette questioned as Nathaniel stood next to her. Alya responded with a confused look and a statement.

“Sitting next to my best friend Mari, Nathaniel can sit next to Lila.” Nathaniel was offended by her statement as Marinette slowly shook her head

“Alya you’re not my friend.”

“What?! But I confronted Lila, told her off, stopped being her friend!”

“Yes, but you didn’t apologise, realise what you’ve done wrong and doing just that won’t fix what you’ve done.” Sighing she looked to Chloe, Sabrina and Nathaniel. “I have real friends now Alya, hey support me, help me and don’t doubt me.” Alya looked down annoyed she’d made everything right, why couldn’t Marinette see that they were still friends, how could she just replace her first friend.

“B-but-“

“But nothing Alya and anyways me and my real friends have a reservation to get to so, carrot top, bob ross, queenie? Shall we go?” Marinette’s smile was sweet as ever as she and her friends left happy and laughing.

———

Lmao wrote this ages ago and forgot to post it

Taglist: @luleck @schrodingers25 @magic-miraculous

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #alya cesaire #alya salt #lila rossi #ml lila #lila salt #marinette dupain cheng

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the-lonely-tree-original · 4 years

Text

Green With Envy (FMA Oneshot)

Just kind of thought about what would happen when Roy got a new alchemist under his belt and...

When all is said and done, Edward Elric doesn’t want much. He wants a good life, that’s true. He wants to go to sleep in a warm bed and be able to put food on the table and have other necessary comforts, of course. There was that obvious desire not so long ago to get his and his brother’s bodies back, but he had succeeded. By all accounts, he should be perfectly content for at least the next couple of months, still running off of that dream-come-true high.

But he isn’t.

How could he be when that was happening right before his eyes?

It had been childish to curl his lip at the new Major, to refuse to shake his hand, but how could he pretend? Was he supposed to lie and act like everything was fine when it wasn’t? Is that something that he should just be able to do?

Try as he might, Ed couldn’t stop the hurt that clawed at his heart when he saw him, greeted by the team like an old friend.

The new Major is kind. He’s all smiles and laughter and Ed even saw him give his coat once to a civilian who’d been caught in a storm. He should be happy that the military is finally accepting people who aren’t complete bastards.

But he isn’t.

And he hates him.

Major Braddock was one of the many new recruits hired by Fuhrer Grumman after the fight with father. He’s young - not younger than Ed, of course, but young enough to not have started a family yet. He probably just got out of school.

So really, Ed should have nothing against this 20-something-year-old boy who only wants to secure his future in a steady job, but he does. Because he was assigned to them. Mustang’s unit. Right after Ed had resigned from duty.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if Braddock was older. If he didn’t have a little brother just like Ed. Because, for all of their differences in appearances, it did nothing to stop the feeling that he was being replaced.

He watched Braddock’s exchange with his team (his old team), feeling like a band was tightening around his chest. Alphonse - sweet, genius Alphonse - noticed the way his hands were clenching into fists and teeth were digging into lips and guided him away with a soft, flesh hand on his back.

When they got to their room, Ed looked at the final resignation documents on his desk, lying so innocently on the carved wood. He’d have to go in tomorrow, or else some time soon, and turn them in. Back then, before they’d gotten their bodies back, Ed and Al had talked about what they would be doing after. Resignation had seemed so simple. They’d hated the military, so why would they stay?

He’d never thought it would be this hard

***

He walked up the steps of central command alone. His brother was meeting up with the doctor to check in with his physical prowess, and Al had gotten bored of his pestering, so he told Ed to make himself busy. Obliviously, he phrased it better, but the message was all the same: give me space. So here he was, marching awkwardly up the steps while trying to pretend he didn’t feel like the building was going to eat him alive.

Seeing the team should be happy. It really should. But what if he’s inside?

Ed clutched the papers tight to his chest, using them as some sort of stress-reliever. How would Mustang react when he saw the crumpled up sheets? Would he joke about Ed’s penmanship as usual? Or would he accept it with a nod and send him on his way? Just the bare minimum of acknowledgement before sending him off to the rest of his life. Without them.

It was irrational, Ed knew, to feel like this. It wasn’t like he was useful to Mustang anymore. Without alchemy, he was a dog without fangs. Their whole relationship was founded upon using each other and now he was nothing more than a broken toy.

He needed a new toy. A shining gold star to add to his resume when climbing up the ranks. With Ed he only had a desperate kid who defected not even five years into the job. He knew it wasn’t fair to Mustang, who’d shown on countless occasions that he cared deeply about those who worked under him. It wasn’t fair to label him as some heartless, power hungry bastard that only cared about his own gains.

But.

But it was the only thing that could ease the pain he was feeling.

“It’s the Fullmetal Alchemist!”

“Edward Elric!”

Ed smiled abashedly. After the whole father fiasco, Ed had become somewhat of a celebrity in the military ranks. Those who were there seemed to go out of the way to make him feel a little more welcome, smiling at him when he walked down the halls and occasionally going out of their way to get him coffee or something like that. Even those who weren’t looked at him somewhat in awe, not quite understanding the treatment he was getting since the event was kept on the down low, but also trying to fit in with the crowd.

Even Mustang’s team treated him differently. It just wasn’t the good different. Walking into their office proved as much.

He was still greeted warmly by Hawkeye, addressed as “Chief” by Breda and Havoc, saluted by Falman and Fuery - that much was true. But it was different. Hawkeye didn’t linger to ask him about his day, instead going straight to Mustang’s office to announce his arrival. Havoc didn’t playfully rough up his hair or Breda make fun of his height. Even the more resigned members of Team Mustang seemed to be holding back more than usual.

It was like an invisible force was driving them apart. Home isn’t supposed to be a place, it’s supposed to be a people, and this small home he’d made felt unfamiliar and cold. There was a distance there that there wasn’t before.

“Edward, the General will see you shortly.” Ed nodded politely at Riza’s words, surprising himself by nodding at all. There used to be a time when he would just barge into Mustang’s office, completely uncaring of the audience in the room. Now it felt wrong to even knock.

“What’s with that look on your face, Chief? You about to fight a homunculus or something?” Breda’s joke fell flat. Ed would probably prefer that right about now. At least then he’d only have to worry about himself.

The door to the office opened. “Or something,” Ed murmured. Joyous laughter came tumbling out of the room alongside a pair of boot-clad feet. Accompanying it, was the rare, genuine chuckling he only heard once in a blue moon. Ed could never make him laugh like that, but a new, unfamiliar recruit could. Right there, a stone slammed into his stomach because how else could he explain the lack of air and the agonizing pain and the-

“Edward, you wanted to see me?” Ed should be happy, Mustang’s talking to him in the same tone as always. But he called me Edward. He’s always called me Fullmetal.

“Y-yeah. I’m here to finalize my resignation.”

Mustang looked down at the papers in his hands, eyes harding into obsidian pools. “Ahhh, yes, I can take those from you.”

Ed handed over the forms, not oblivious to the way the whole team was silent at his statement. Were they waiting for something to happen or what?

“Step inside for a moment Ed-” he bit his cheek “-I just want to make sure everything’s correct.”

He sat down silently and waited for Mustang to finish examining his papers. From the tensing of his shoulders, Ed could tell the other man felt just as out of place as himself. After a few minutes, the General shuffled the papers and piled them into a neat stack.

“Everything checks out.” There was a long silence in which the two stared at each other, searching for something but not knowing what. After a while, though, it all became too much and Ed stood to leave, only stopping because of Mustang’s voice calling out to him. “Anything the matter, Ed? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“I’m fine.” You aren’t, but it’s nothing he needs to trouble himself with.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” No, you don’t even know why you’re feeling this way.

The other man sighed, before relaxing back into his seat. “Okay, if you say so. Visit us soon, okay?” Ed nodded and began walking towards the door. “I’ll miss you.”

Those three words were what did it. He didn’t cry, per say (after going through so much it just became hard to cry), but there was something lodged in his throat causing him to choke. He heard Mustang’s chair push back - he was probably getting up out of concern more than anything - and felt the man’s presence hover behind him, unsure of what to do.

“Edward?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the door was closed, which meant that no one else would see him break down. It was a weird train of thought to be having at the moment, but he’d been feeling so detached lately that it wasn’t that much of a surprise to him.

“Edward,” Mustang repeated.

“Fullmetal.”

“What?”

“You used to call me Fullmetal.”

“...Oh… of course… Fullmetal, what’s wrong?” The way he acted like that mistake was nothing… and to him it probably was, but...

With a clogged throat, Ed said, “I’m going to miss you too, you know… but it feels like I already missed my chance to say goodbye.”

Even without looking at the man, he could see the confusion on his face. “What do you mean?” he asked. The confusion was evident in his voice as well.

“You just- it just-” Ed paused, trying to get his words straight. “It just isn’t the same anymore, whenever I talk to you. Or the team. It feels like I’ve lost whatever connection I had.” He finally looked up at Mustang. The man was silent, only looking at him with very sad eyes. “And, with Barddock here, I feel replaced.”

That snapped Mustang out of whatever trance he’d been in, obsidian eyes dark with anger, arms latching onto his shoulders. “You listen to me, Fullmetal. No one, and I repeat, no one, can ever replace you. If you actually think that then you’re a lot dumber than I thought. Because, for the four years I’ve known you, I’ve never met anyone so brave, noble, and kind.”

Ed chuckled, eyes watering a bit at the praise. “Are you sure that you’re not talking about yourself, Bastard.”

Mustang didn’t laugh. “I want you to know that you’re the most remarkable person I’ve met. I will never forget how much you changed this country - you changed me - I could never replace you. I’m sorry that you feel this way - that I’ve made you feel this way. I was under the impression that you wanted nothing to do with the military once you and your brother got your bodies back, but I see now that the way I was going about doing so was wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Being called Fullmetal is just as big a part of your identity as being called Ed. Furthermore, the bonds you made here run much deeper than work associate, and it was cruel of me to distance myself as both your friend and your-” He cut off abruptly, pulling Ed into a hug. “And I’m sorry. I must have influenced the behavior of the team, and for that, I am sorry as well.” Squeezing gently, he said, “We all care about you so much, kid. And you have no idea how much they’d beat themselves up if they knew we made you feel this way. If you’re going to take one thing away from this, Fullmetal, please remember that you are irreplaceable in our eyes, okay?”

Ed nodded against his shoulder, returning the hug even tighter than the Flame Colonel. Smiling, he said, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Mustang shifted in order to flatten his hair - when it got messed up, he didn’t know, but the action was so soothing and caring that Ed was finally able to let go of a few of his tears. The sound he let out was a choked sob, but it was a lot happier than before.

“Just because you’re no longer part of our team on paper, does not make that true. We still want you to visit us and talk to us and tell us about your day. We still want to be a part of your life and watch you grow up. You are, and always will be, part of our family.”

~El Fin~

#fma #fullmetal alchemist #fanfic #fanfiction #edward elric #roy mustang #parental roy #parental royed #angst #hurt/comfort

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stray-tori · 3 years

Text

TPN S02E05 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

the reaction video: Google Drive

. Blue friend!

That i didn’t immediately catch that they were two different groups was kind of embarrassing asuhjd- they do be surveilling. They clearly already tailed them, but idk why they didn't just show up at their hideout --- I guess that would have been too undramatic.

It was kind of obvious towards the end and I felt like they could have made it a little more dynamic. I don’t need still shots. Make them attack and the mask comes off after he also speaks or... idk, so many still frames; masks hiding any emotional reaction (though I do like the whole taking off mask reveal in theory); and then also the kind of.... EH reaction I’m just... idk, I expected more somehow but I can’t exactly pinpoint what I wanted differently.

(This whole thing kind of goes back to my initial theory way back after s1 how Norman might try to infiltrate the system as a demon and then have to pretend to not be their ally in front of them and have to pull through with something, or some tragic shit like that. Or one of them trying to kill him, but he can’t say anything and then they realize when the cover comes off --- yeah VERY BAD, I’m glad that’s not what’s happening.)

I’m assuming the tidbit about farms being raided “recently” means he’s not been out for that long (at least not longer than a few months) so that’d explain why it wasn’t brought up with Isabella.

I also don’t think anything happened when he was removed from GF - but between Norman’s surprised expression when entering the gate room and him being here now, I don’t think he was shipped out for food (unless the high quality ones don’t get flower’ed right away and instead only at their “eater” --- since that’d at least give the support duration for someone to rescue him or him to do something about his situation).

So I’m very curious to hear about that whole story and I have a small bit of hope that the recap episode will be framed as Norman talking about s1 from his perspective and then also transitioning over into what happened while they were apart either in next episode or the episode after that. Don’t think we need a recap either way, but OH WELL, I hope there’ll be SOME framing to it at least.

edit: I thought episode 6 would be a recap, but it’s 5.5 and likely due to production issues so forget my rant here, I’m fine with the recap. I’m not fine with staff being overworked but oh well that’s a whole different dilemma.

They got so much to do and so few episodes AHHH

I wonder if there’s any meaning-parallel to be drawn between the old demon having a walking stick and Norman also having a walking stick??? idk it just felt odd to me-- Norman why are you old.

Though gotta also appreciate that anime really went opposite manga approach here, he didn't age AT ALL duisjsd. still babey. (edit: I didn’t know about his “inbetween” design as much and seeing them side by side it’s actually pretty accurate so yayyy. he babey anyway though)

what did that one guy out of Norman's group do when he leaned down to presumably Don I'm confusion

Norman, surrounding his friends: "lets ominously walk up to them"

. The demons' form

I didn’t post it I think but I actually made a “you are what you eat” joke in my ep3 post but discarded it because Sonju and Mujika look completely fine despite never having had any humans and I thought that’d throw a wrench in my thought.... and it still does so... that’s really interesting.

It also seems as if him saying “The world won’t change” is kind of..... like a prophecy sort of thing? It could just mean the massive class divide of course, but maybe if all the demons were well fed with humans, they’d achieve greater things? Since when you’re dying you’re kind of not in the condition to do anything, and if eating their body parts makes the demons adapt; is the implication that eating their brains makes demons smarter? if so that's a pretty literal parallel to the lower classes of society being robbed the chance to do something great by sheer circumstance. they're just actually dumber bc they don't get provided the materials to be smart

Honestly I’m a bit confused and not sure what it means, i can think of:

once a demon has ever eaten a human, they have to continue doing so

eating singular body parts makes them generate on you and you need “higher quality” humans to counter-act it. Would explain why Mujika and Sonju aren’t affected, since they don’t eat humans at all. Would also be an allegory for a healthy/balanced diet I GUESS but I don’t think it seems very plausible? it just seems kind of random.

They’re descendants from different demons and Sonju&Mujika simply don’t need to eat humans to maintain their form.

I also brought up that maybe it’s faith related / a placebo? But that seems even more forced.

I also don’t know if the implication is that they need ANY food, but then why are there hands on them?? So I do think it’s that it’s humans specifically that are either the problem or the solution. But since the bigger demons don’t seem to be affected AND the higher ups also not, I doubt it’s what causes the problems, unless it somehow is the whole balanced / “have to KEEP doing it” angle.

Also the demon scene in the ruins was so interesting, I really liked how it was so somber and kind of just... quiet. Emma, our queen, emphasizing once again.

I wonder if the demon realized it secretly or not... he seemed kinda overall nice and reasonable so I wouldn’t be super surprised if he noticed and just didn’t really care...

. The timeline

GF kids have been escaped for 1 year, they were a month at the bunker, so they’ve been out and about for another ~11 months.

Anna says nothing happened in the past 6 months; what else happened to them? just that they hid somewhere and had to flee again?

Is that also where they got their new clothes? i fail to see why they couldn’t just get them at the bunker, would make a bit more sense imo- but oh well.

farms keep being attacked recently and stealing children. it was def not our group, Norman's group potentially? They seem to be pretty badass, so that’s probably not unlikely.

Alternatively, it could be an overarching even bigger group that also rescued Norman, I think.

. Other things I liked

the scene of Emma being kind of lost was... pretty good, seeing our sunshine kind of doubt herself (understandably so after not making progress for an entire year) is pretty impactful. But i also feel like she’d try even harder to hide it in front of the others. but also why are you talking to a wall, are you mentally okay, probably not---

LOVED the nice subtle reveal to show how they mask their scent in the Lani and Thoma scene when they wanted to go with them

shot of the apple rolling and the screen turning over but head-down was cool!!

Emma and ray flinching when the demon's hand reaches out to Lani and Thoma

That convo between Lani and Thoma and how the older ones always give them the food and pretend to eat I'M EMOTIONAL

also their costumes are so colorful :sparkles: it’s such a big switch from their usual outfits-

. Other things I didn’t like

i'm not even a rayemma shipper and I still wanted Ray to do more than say a few lines and WALK AWAY?? ray what ya doin-

[Lani and Thoma] also literally why did you let them come. This season does really depend on someone fucking up and it’s kind of annoyingggggg :) Though in this case it isn’t that much their fault, they just stood around.

also why Norman only say “Emma” pls kill me. I was so happy that (very light manga spoiler) ...... Ray and Emma were both there for the reveal but fuck, the anime just straight up didn't care about Ray being there anyway :V

they better gife me a good trio hug to make up for this next (... uh... next-next TvT) episode

I do agree he’s back too soon but..... I kind of can’t hate them, with the whole 1 season to wrap it up chaos. Anime industry bad.

Well at least I’m excited and didn’t hate it. I’m somehow a little empty-headed but it was a good episode, and the surrounding anxiety probably just makes me a little iffy.... Hope the recap episode next week will have some merit and otherwise, see ya in two weeks.

#tpn s2 #tpn anime #tpn anime-only #tpn #tpn anime spoilers #tpn s2 ep5 #tpn spoilers #tori has opinions #tori talks

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 5 years

Text

Twix Bars and other Various Sweets

Part of the Tsudere Seventeen Series

Summary: Vernon wants Twix bars. As many as he can get, as often as he can get them. You want him to admit that he’s had a crush on you since Freshmen year of high school. It’s a fair trade-off you think.

Post date: May 22, 2019

3K+ Words

Hansol was standing at the convenience store counter, staring blankly at the candy bar display in front of him. He shifted his weight to his other hip and raised his hand thoughtfully up to his lips, chewing distractedly on his thumb.

You rested your head on your hand, raising an eyebrow towards the contemplative boy.

He did this every day.

“What are you thinking, a snickers?” You asked, your voice completely flat. He glanced at you, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly.

“I’m not sure, maybe?”

You stifled a small laugh and just settled for staring at the peculiar boy.

Hansol had been in your life for years now. When you transferred to a new school in a new city, you had been terrified of what life would bring you. You had always worried about making new friends and fitting in in a strange new environment.

Hansol was the very first person to give you a chance and you were forever indebted to him for that.

A single soft smile and a personal introduction from Hansol had meant that everyone in the school suddenly found you to be an acceptable person to associate with.

You still didn’t really understand why it was like that here.

If Hansol was willing to talk to someone, everyone just assumed they were a good person to associate with.

Either way, the day that a cute boy with sandy brown hair had introduced himself to you as Chwe Hansol, you had assumed that he would be your best friend. You could feel the way he watched you when he thought you weren’t looking, and you knew that he said nice things about you to other people.

Even if you weren’t best friends, you would surely be friends.

You knew that he had gone out of his way to get even the cruelest teachers at school to be nice to you, and he put in a good word for you at your job when you had applied, and you had a sneaking suspicion that when your dad almost got fired and suddenly the company was bought out and your dad’s job became secured with crazy benefits that he had something to do with that too.

You had no solid proof of course. He was good enough at covering his tracks that you were pretty sure you were right, but couldn't really mention it to anyone without sounding completely and totally insane.

He was smart... But you were smarter.

He came into your store every day that you are working. Every day he wandered around the store for almost an hour, striking up conversation with you periodically only to finally purchase a single Twix bar, and leave.

He had been doing this for months now. He had to know that you knew that he did it all on purpose.

And you knew why he did it all on purpose.

God, it was obvious.

He had a crush on you.

Normally, you wouldn’t be so self-centered thinking that a guy liked you just because he happened to buy a candy bar every time that you worked. You could explain away the lengthy strolls he took. Maybe he was just indecisive.

You knew that you were inclined to be a little bit obsessive over the whole “cute boy talks to you” sort of situation. You were a little intense when it came to that sort of thing.

But you were sure about this one.

Whenever you talked to him or helped him out at school his cheeks got red, his voice got a little higher, and he got really flustered and clumsy.

You saw how he reacted around other girls. While he did get this unique smile that you didn’t see when he was hanging around his guy friends, he didn’t get all flustered like that. It was only with you.

Plus, when his friends were around and knew that you were there too, they always teased him hard for being single or being so gullible and sweet. You knew that couldn’t be a coincidence, and even your own friends had noticed the behavior.

He knew when your birthday was and had given you gifts before for it, and one valentine’s day you had caught him loitering in front of your desk, where you later found a letter to you from a “secret admirer”.

You knew it was him. It had to be him. He definitely had a crush on you.

You brushed a strand of your hair out of your face, an action that seemed to entrance Hansol for a moment. You two made eye contact and his face reddened once again.

“I think I’ll get a Twix bar,” he stated suddenly. He leaned forward and grabbed the candy bar from its usual spot.

“Yeah? That’s unusual,” you commented conversationally. His cheeks grew darker and he looked down at his wallet.

“How much?”

Geez, he was ridiculous. He knew how much it was.

“1523.18 won,” you replied, pretending like you needed to in any way scan the item to know what it cost. He put a bill back in his wallet as if he hadn’t known the whole time how much it would be before finally giving you the amount.

You took the money and took a little longer then you needed to give him his change back. You smiled brightly at him when your fingers brushed one another.

“Have a lovely day!” You said politely as he left the store. He gave you a short smile and waved as he left. The bell gave out a shrill ding as the door closed behind him.

“See you at school,” you murmured even though you knew he was too far away to hear. You watched him silently as he walked past the large glass windows of your convenience store. Just before he got to the window you looked down to pretend like you weren’t watching him.

Once he got to the corner he liked to glance back at you.

He definitely liked you.

And you were tired of pretending you didn’t know.

At first, you had just wanted to ride it out. Nothing in his behavior had insinuated that his little crush was any more than a passing fancy. Course the longer it had dragged on the more you had begun to realize that maybe, just maybe it was more than that.

And the more that you thought about how he liked you, the more that you found reasons that you were kind of starting to like him.

His shy attitude towards you was so cute. Especially, considering the fact that you had seen what he was like when he didn’t know you were around. He was pretty quirky and outgoing when the time called for it. Polar opposite of what you were used to seeing from him.

Of course, it had been years since you had met Hansol. That meant it had been years of him liking you. It wouldn’t be easy to get him to admit that he liked you. Hansol seemed pretty stubborn, he wouldn’t just tell you if you just asked. You knew he would deny it.

You just had to be inconspicuous. Force him into a corner, and make him admit that he liked you.

You sighed and stared at the spot that Hansol had been occupying not long ago.

But... how would you get him to admit the truth?

“Hey, we just got a shipment of candy bars in,” your manager stated, sending a box on the counter in front of you sharply. “Twix will be happy.”

You tried not to smile at the nickname that your coworkers had given Hansol. You and him always acted like you didn’t know one another outside of school, apparently well enough that everyone believed it. They always joked that “Twix” only came in nowadays to see you, insinuating he would probably come even if they were out of Twix bars.

You didn’t think he would do that. It would kill his cover.

Besides, he really was obsessed with Twix bars. You’d heard it had partially come from his friend Joshua, they both spent their summers in the United States, rumor had it that Hansol went by Vernon there. You thought it was pretty fitting. A dorky name for a dorky guy.

Anyways, he was always eating a Twix bar. In every class you saw him in, every time he was going to class or waiting for a school even to start or anything, you could almost swear that he had a partially eaten candy bar in his hand.

Always the same candy bar.

You hated to admit it but like Pavlov’s dog, every time you saw the dumb product you thought of the even dumber boy.

“You should take some extra. We have too many... Even if Twix came in ten times a day we wouldn’t sell them all, and he’s about the only person in Korea to buy the dumb things,” your boss over exaggerated. You opened your mouth to reject the offer.

You liked candy bars, but you didn’t need that many laying around your house just tempting you to eat them all the time.

But then you stopped.

“Yeah, actually I’ll take some,” you said hesitantly. Your boss smiled and began to put a bunch of candy bars in a grocery bag for you.

This was it. This was your chance.

Hansol loved Twix bars.

Maybe if you offered him a free candy bar he would give you something in return. All you wanted was a confession. That was a pretty fair trade.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

You raised your eyebrow.

His cheeks were red, eyes wide, his chest heaving with every breath that he took. If that wasn’t the sort of expression someone made upon being caught with a crush on someone else you didn’t know what was.

He was still playing dumb.

You waved the Twix bar in front of his eyes, and he followed it like a dog being teased with a treat.

“Come on Hansol. A free candy bar just for a confession,” you said suavely.

“I have nothing to confess y/n!” He protested. “Well, nothing that you actually want to hear.”

“I know you’ve liked me since the day we met,” you replied your voice dropping an octave. “Just admit it and the bar is yours.”

“I don’t even like candy that much,” he stated.

“You always have a Twix bar on you!” You protested.

“Isn’t that some sort of American candy bar? Why would I eat that?” Hansol asked innocently. His voice quivered at the end. Geez, if he was going to try and play you like this, he could at least do it well.

You dropped the hand holding the candy bar momentarily letting it hang at your waist. You scrunched your nose and stared at Hansol for a minute. You didn’t say anything you just stared.

The longer that you two stood there like that, just staring at one another in the school parking lot, the redder Hansol’s face got, and the more you realized just how stubborn the boy truly was.

“I know you like me Hansol, there’s literally absolutely no point in keeping it a secret. Just look at me and say, ‘hey, I really like you’,” you said. Hansol stared at you, but he didn’t say anything at all. You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Okay, so that’s how this is going to go huh?” You asked. “Fine. We’ll do it the hard way.”

You took a quick few steps towards Hansol, apparently sufficing in looking scary enough that he took a step back with every step forward you took until he eventually bumped into the hood of his car.

You glared him down, the height difference between the two of you meaning absolutely nothing when it came down to you being pissed at him. You raised a steady hand, the one holding the candy bar, brandishing it like a knife.

You pressed it directly under his chin, your face so close to his that you could smell his breath.

Of fucking course, it smelled like chocolate.

“You have made some big mistakes before in the past,” you mumbled threateningly. “But none like the one you just made. I will make it my mission to make you admit to me that you do in fact have a crush on me, and I will not be easy on you.”

You turned away from him with a sharp whip of your head. You heard him say something behind you, but it was broken and too quiet for you to properly make out so you ignored him in order to properly process your plan.

It was pretty simple really.

You would just use his sweet tooth against him.

You started a “green month” initiative at school. Now, in reality, you had thought that would be pretty hard. Getting your school to “go green” and replace all the sugary foods in the vending machines for a month seemed like a major loss for them. Students would be angry, the school would lose money, and they would have to switch suppliers and pay for a lot of unnecessary labor.

But instead, the minute that “month-long healthy food initiative” left your mouth your principal was announcing it to the school. The next day all of the vending machines were flushed of anything with more than 5 grams of sugar in it. Any fundraisers selling candy bars were suspended, and you were heralded the hero of the month by all the teachers and helicopter parents.

The next thing was even easier.

Dressing up pretty officially and going into every convenience store within a forty-mile radius and saying that all of the recent Twix shipments were contaminated with some form of disease simply by clicking your tongue may seem a bit... Insane, but it got every store to take the bars out of their shop front.

All you had to do in your own shop was convince your manager that the boxes of Twix bars had gone missing and so there were none to stock out in the front. She was so lazy she wouldn’t notice them sitting where they were supposed to be for the next few weeks or so.

The last thing you had to do was probably the easiest of all.

While Hansol was out with his friends you visited his house to say hi to his mother. You claimed your mom sent you with pie, and so she let you in because the two were pretty close. Of course, his mom insisted that you stay while she make a dessert for your mom in return, and at some point left you to take a phone call.

That gave you just enough time to search the house for every single Twix bar that you knew Hansol would have hidden.

There were 28.

And once that was accomplished, all you had to was sit on your throne of Twix bars and wait for Hansol to come knocking. (Disclaimer, you didn’t actually make a throne out of the candy bars. You did, however, put them all in your backpack and carry them around instead of your books for a week.)

It took one day and three hours for Hansol to come to your house. You opened it expecting a serial killer to be completely honest.

It was two in the morning and you had just watched a shit ton of scary movies instead of sleeping so you were already on edge and then a rapid four knocks came from the front door?

Yeah, you were ready to die when you opened it.

Hansol’s presence for once was a happy surprise.

He looked like a drug addict going through rehab. His hair was messy, his shirt on inside out, one of his pants legs was rolled up while the other was down, the guy was missing a shoe, and he even looked like he hadn’t slept for a week- where did those under eye bags even come from?

“Oh, Hansol,” you stated, leaning comfortably in the door frame. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t be coy with me,’ Hansol said. “I haven’t gone more than two hours without a Twix bar in ten years give me some candy, now.”

You were surprised with his sudden surge of confidence towards you. He had always been so nervous around you, and he hardly ever lost his temper. He must like candy a little more then you had accounted for. For a moment you thought maybe you had gone overboard.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, mimicking the same false innocence he had tried to pull on you before.

“Every store that I have the time to drive to isn’t selling them because of Twixeritis? What the hell even is that?” Hansol blurted back. You placed your hand over Hansol’s mouth shushing him.

“My family is sleeping,” you murmured. “Try and keep it down.”

He still looked pissed.

You slowly slipped the front door closed behind you, putting your hands behind your back shyly as you did so. You had never been in front of a guy in your pajamas before. Nor had you ever been alone with a guy at two in the morning.

You had always had this sort of feeling that if you were with a guy like this, it would be because he was super cute and you really liked him.

And that sort of was why you were in this situation.

“What kind of girl are you?” He blurted.

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, just one that has 56 Twix bars in my room upstairs just waiting to be eaten,” you replied coyly.

Hansol stared at you, clearly trying to intimidate you with the crazy in his eyes, but he underestimated you if he thought that would work. After only fifteen seconds he had backed down. He sighed loudly, running his fingers through his hair.

“Fine, fine, I like you alright? I don’t know why because you are clearly insane, but I have liked you for like ever now,” Hansol blurted. “I mean everyone told me you knew and that I should just ask you out already cause if you dealt with my shenanigans at the store every day you must like me too, but I didn’t cause...”

He trailed off.

“Because?” You prompted

“Because I’m a wimp,” he mumbled back.

Someone with a heart would have probably felt bad for him.

Luckily, you had sold your heart away years ago. You pointed at him, a Twix bar in your hand as your ammo.

“Hah, I knew it.”

Hansol’s face was of course red, it always was when he was talking to you, but he still took the candy from your hands and begun to eat it as soon as he possibly could. You watched him for a moment, just happy that you were finally able to get him to admit it.

“You eat like a pig,” you said pleasantly. “I can’t believe I like you.”

Hansol shot you a glare.

“Shut up and give me another one.”

It was pretty entertaining to watch Hansol eat 17 candy bars in five minutes, but after you started to worry about the other boys' health. Eating so much sugar in such a small amount of time couldn’t be healthy. Besides, more importantly, after a while you got bored.

“So, does this mean we are dating now?” You asked pointedly.

Hansol choked halfway through the seventeenth candy bar.

“What?”

“I mean you’re in my room eating candy in the middle of the night,” you replied pointedly. “We’re not exactly friends and the only other option is that we must be dating. That or we are psycho.”

“We are psycho,” Hansol exclaimed. “You literally quarantined me from every Twix bar in the city, and I still like you for it.”

You two fell silent, staring at one another the way you two always ended up doing. You scrunched your nose.

“So we are dating right?”

“Yeah.”

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stroni-bomb · 6 years

Text

Lion Chapter 2 - Angel!Taeyong

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter / Masterlist

Taeyong is finally introduced in this chapter, I know it took me a while, but he’s here! Also the third chapter will come much faster, this one only took so long because I got super sick :/

~ Cherry

The outside world was horrible. Humans were always doing the worst things and then you had to hold yourself back from clawing out their throats. Your job was a nightmare and you were surprised you hadn’t killed anyone yet. The fast food industry was likely your most hated profession, and you'd been through a lot of jobs since coming here…

Your mother had gotten you a place to stay but you had to pay for water, electricity, food, all things provided for you before. And you had to cook! You were a teacher, not a chef! Microwaved spaghetti seemed to be the only thing you could feed yourself.

With all of these new stresses you had to deal with, you'd become less alert and you were sure your lowest point was when that human snuck up on you. How did he do that? You're a supernatural being who doubles as a lion, how could you let anyone sneak up on you?

He was behind you with a knife to your throat, but he didn’t say anything. He was completely still.

“Do you want my money or…?”

“No,” he said. “I was supposed to kill you.”

“So are you gonna do that?”

“Uh…”

Stupid humans with their horrible follow through.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, easily twisting it away from you before forcing him up against the wall. You took the knife but before you could stab him with it like you were planning to, you noticed it was silver.

“Really?” You muttered. “Silver. You’re obviously a hunter. But fucking silver?”

“Well, that’s how you kill shapeshifters… right?”

Yeah… this is definitely a low point.

You threw the knife away and backed off of the guy. He turned around and rubbed his shoulder, looking between you and the knife.

“Don’t bother, I could kill you in a second,” you leant next to him against the wall. “Are all hunters this bad at their jobs or just you?”

“I’m new,” he responded. “Give me a break.”

“And do all hunters like to casually chat with the supernaturals they’re meant to kill?” You continued.

“Maybe,” he said. “I’m new, remember?”

Whoever this person was, he didn’t match the descriptions your teachers had given you of hunters. You had to admit that you were a little curious.

“You don’t need silver to kill me,” you told him. “Anything that can shapeshift, silver will fuck them up. Not spirit animals. Any knife will do the trick for a spirit animal.”

“Oh, do all spirit animals like to tell people exactly how to kill them?” The hunter questioned, mimicking your tone.

“Not if we actually find the person in question threatening,” you sent a glare his way.

“Is that why you haven’t tried to kill me yet?” He asked. “We’re in a dark alley… no one’s around.”

“Not in the mood for casual murder, I suppose,” you told him. “You hunter’s think all supernaturals are evil, right?”

“Well, my uncle certainly does,” he glanced down. “I mean, yeah, you guys are like, satan or something. Totally evil, gotta defend innocents or what the fuck ever.”

You raised a brow at him and he sighed. “I already know it’s bullshit. I’m just here to appease my family. Turns out killing people is a little harder than I thought.”

“Oh, so you were going to kill an innocent person, namely me, just to make your family happy?” You asked.

“Basically.”

“Too bad they didn’t teach you well enough to know a spirit animals true weakness,” you told him. “Threaten their spirit form and you’ve got them. Spirit quartz are harmless little gems until someone tries to shift and it steals their spirit.”

“Oh, sure, keep telling me all your weaknesses.”

“You were hunting a spirit animal, how didn’t you know that already?” You asked.

“Well…” he glanced back at the knife on the ground. “I thought you were a lampago.”

Oh, that did it.

“A lampago?” You asked. “I’m a lion, not a tiger. A lion! Why would you think I’m some stupid shapeshifting tiger, you absolute-”

“Really? This gets you angry but not the whole ‘trying to kill you’ thing?” He interrupted you.

“Listen, a severe injustice has been done to your education,” you grabbed his wrist and started pulling him after you. “I’m going to fix that.”

“U-uh… where are we going?” He didn’t resist much as you dragged him out of the alley and out into the streets.

“A library. Obviously the people who taught you don't even know what those are,” you grumbled. “This is why human hunters never succeed, they don't teach their young.”

“Wait, why are you taking me to a library?” He asked.

“I like to have a reference when I'm teaching,” you told him. “We’ll get some books about the supernatural and I will make sure you know how to differentiate between two completely different species, one of which is vastly superior.”

He was quiet for a moment, trying to think of what to say. “So you're planning to teach me about supernatural creatures… which I hunt?”

“Please, if you could actually hunt, we wouldn't be walking to the library together because you would have stabbed me in the back by now and I would have mauled you,” you told him.

“The first supernatural I meet and you’re a complete weirdo.”

“I'll choose to take that as a compliment,” you responded.

Maybe it was just because you really missed your old job, but you felt some sort of need to help this idiot who couldn't differentiate between a spirit animal and a lampago. And you weren't going to educate him on fighting supernaturals, just their culture and all the interesting things you were passionate about.

You were excited actually. After two long months, you finally had a chance to teach again. It was your dream, but you needed qualifications out in the real world so you couldn't continue.

Usually though, the first step of teaching is getting to know your students, but you still didn't know this hunter’s name.

“I'm Y/n,” you told him. “It's nice to meet you.”

“Changkyun,” he responded. “Nice to meet you too I guess.”

This human? Dumber than you previously thought.

“No, mind reading and empathy aren't seeker abilities, only some seekers can do it,” you explained for the umpteenth time.

“But it is a seeker thing, it's just that not all of them can do it,” Changkyun responded. “See, I pick up on things.”

“What are the other special abilities a seeker can have?”

“Uh…”

Well, at least he had the other two down.

“Alright, that's fine, we'll work on that,” you said. “Do you know the factions?”

“Guardians, thieves, all those other ones that… exist…” he listed.

“You're less receptive than three year old lions, Changkyun,” you told him. “You do realise this, right?”

You’d only known him a week, but you could see clearly that Changkyun was very different from any of the hunters you’d heard about from your family. And you still had yet to figure out why. People are products of their environment but somehow, Changkyun had never taken to the lifestyle his family leads.

Something had to be different.

“Teach me something interesting then!” He leant back in his chair. “Tell me about soulmates.”

“What do you wanna know?”

“How does it work?” He asked. “Does everyone have them? Do some have more than one? Platonic soulmates, all that jazz.”

“Yeah, everyone has them, I’ve never heard of someone to have more than one, but I suppose it’s not impossible,” you answered. “And platonic soulmates exist for… everyone except werewolves, I believe.”

“Why not werewolves?” Changkyun was absorbed into the lesson now.

You supposed whether he was receptive or not had to do with whether the topic interesting him or not.

“I’m not entirely sure,” you said. “They experience the bond stronger than anyone else, and werewolves are already naturally loving and caring.”

“What about hybrid werewolves?” He asked.

“Them too,” you answered. “But the bond get weaker with the less werewolf blood they have in them.”

“And human-werewolf hybrids… they can’t shift, right?”

“Why are you so interested in this specifically?” You questioned.

“Curiosity,” he shrugged.

Changkyun was good at pretending, but you could tell he was acting. Trying purposely to be casual.

“They cant,” you eventually answered. “Not unless they’re turned into a full werewolf by being bitten by another.”

Changkyun stared at the floor for a moment, expression unreadable, before resuming his casual act. He put his feet up on your coffee table, and got comfortable again.

“What about magic?” He asked. “Magic is pretty cool, I’d like to learn about that.”

“Get your feet off my furniture, or I’ll break you.”

He rolled his eyes but did as told. “Sure thing, teach.”

All of your lessons went much the same with Changkyun. Sometimes you thought he wasn’t even trying to listen to you, but he did pick up some things. Mainly just the things he thought were cool.

Still, it was a good way to pass time. He came by anytime he could get away from home, and you’d spend a couple hours together to teach him. It was actually kinda fun.

Changkyun also helped you adjust better. And helped you learn how to cook, though he wasn’t that good at it himself.

“I was never taught how to cook,” he told you. “I just figured it out myself. So, if I burn your apartment down, I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t possibly do worse than me.”

About three weeks into it, you started to think that things were actually going… well.

But the day you had that thought, Changkyun stopped coming by your apartment. On the first day, you’d assumed he was busy. Then it was five days with nothing.

You hated that you were more worried than angry that he missed your lessons. But you just tried to tell yourself that some random supernatural had killed him and there was no point dwelling on it. Some random hunter didn’t matter.

Even if he was… kind of… your friend.

When you heard a knock on the door, you were hopeful it might be Changkyun but your hopes were soon crushed. Usually he’s the only one who visits you unless you’re late on rent and your landlord decides to wake you up at two in the morning to yell at you about it. But today, a stranger greeted you.

“You’re Y/n, right?” He asked. “I’m Yejun, a friend of Changkyun’s.”

And already, you knew things were about to loop right back around to being horrible.

“Sorry, wrong person,” you told him. “I don’t know a Y/n.”

Before you could shut the door, he pushed it further open and came in uninvited. You could barely contain the urge to shift on the spot and attack him.

“I suggest you get out before I hurt you,” you growled at the intruder.

“Please, go ahead and shift,” he held a crystal in front of you. “A spirit quartz. I do my research.”

“You think I need a lion to kill you?”

“I don’t want to harm you,” Yejun said. “At least not yet. I’m here to talk about Changkyun.”

“Talk fast. I don’t have much patience,” you backed up to the kitchen counter and grabbed a knife to hide behind you in case the intruder tried anything.

“Dad was furious when found out Changkyun was sneaking out,” Yejun said. “It was entertaining, really, to see him so red in the face.”

“I don’t care,” you told him. “Tell me what you want and get out.”

“I want you to leave Changkyun alone,” he answered. “I was planning on simply killing you, but I promised my sister I wouldn’t. So I really hope you’ll leave the city, rather than force me to break a promise.”

“Why should I?” You responded. “Is Changkyun not allowed to have friends?”

“No,” Yejun said. “He knows the rules, contact with people outside of the family is prohibited for him.”

“Why? And why only him?” That didn’t seem fair. “Did he do something?”

“He never told you?” Yejun asked. “He’s a mutt, half werewolf.”

And the switch went off again.

A mutt. Exactly what Geon had called Lupus. Notitia had called him that too. Same with plenty of others in your clan. He couldn’t help that he was wolf.

You barely registered that you’d even moved before you found yourself right in front of Yejun with a kitchen knife buried in his chest. But you’d never thought to check him for weapons, and you didn’t expect him to react so quickly.

You stumbled back when a bullet ripped through your stomach. Yejun dropped the gun the moment you backed off and reached up to the knife still inside of him.

“I thought most supernaturals were smarter than that,” he grunted.

“You just happened to find one that's a little… on the angry side,” you fell back against the kitchen counter and pressed your hands against the wound.

You tried to use the counter to help you up, to get to your phone, call the police or an ambulance, but the moment you tried to move, you felt the pain in your abdomen shock you back to the ground. You felt your skin tear as you fell back down but refused to give Yejun any indication that you were in pain.

But you couldn’t move, and the gun was right beside Yejun…

As if the odds weren’t already in his favour enough, Yejun yelled out for someone and two more people entered the apartment to help him. You had no hope against two completely able bodied men in this state.

You tried again to stand, but doubled over in pain the moment you did so. The only hope at this point was to run, but even that wasn’t a viable option.

Why didn’t you check for a gun? Why didn’t you search him?

This is your own fault, you heard your mother’s echo voice inside your head.

The tiniest bit of hope returned when the door opened again and Changkyun made his way to you. “What did you do?”

“What did I do?” You returned. “That fucker over there is the one who shot me.”

Changkyun clenched his fists, but focused on helping you. He removed his jacket to press against your wound. The new pressure against the injury made you want to cry out but you forced yourself to stay quiet.

“Changkyun, what the fuck are you doing here?” One of the men asked. “I thought Dad locked you in the basement.”

“Oh, he did,” Changkyun said. “Obviously not such an effective tactic anymore.”

“Don't talk back, just come here.”

Changkyun was reluctant to move away from you but he eventually headed their way after placing your hands over his jacket to hold it in place.

You couldn’t hear what was said but one of the hunters passed Changkyun a gun and shoved him towards you. It wasn’t hard to guess what they wanted. You would die soon anyway, wounds like these were hard to treat.

Changkyun kneeled in front of you. “They want me to kill you.”

“As long as you don't kill me with the spirit quartz in the room,” you said. “I don’t want my lion trapped.”

“I only agreed to get the gun, do you actually think I would kill you?” He asked. “Your lack of faith in me is insulting.”

Before you could get another word out, Changkyun stood back up and grabbed your phone from across the room. He began calling an ambulance but his cousins interrupted him.

“What are you doing now?” One of them asked.

“Helping my friend,” Changkyun pointed the gun at him. “So back off, or I’ll shoot you.”

The first intruder only laughed. The knife was out now and his friend was holding a folded up sheet to his chest. One of your folded up sheets… they were staining your sheets. Your newly washed sheets.

Bigger concerns, y/n. Bigger concerns.

“We should have known you’d betray us,” Yejun said. “Just like your mother. It runs in your blood.”

“Leave her out of it.”

“But I’m sure she would have been proud to see her son followed in her footsteps,” he said. “You know, sleeping with the enemy.”

“Changkyun, give me the gun, his mouth speaks dumb things and I’m obligated to silence it,” you glared at the intruder.

“Trust me, Y/n, he keeps talking and I’ll silence him myself,” Changkyun said.

“It’s such a lovely story though,” Yejun continued. “Like Romeo and Juliet, and just as nuclear of an ending.”

“Shut up,” Changkyun sent a glare his way, focusing the gun on his head.

Why he hadn’t shot him already, you had no idea.

“Why didn’t you tell the lion about it?” Yejun seemed completely unphased by the gun, he must have known Changkyun couldn’t pull the trigger. “Were you ashamed? Was it too depressing?”

“Give me the gun, I’ll do it,” you reached for Changkyun’s hand. “Visions a little blurry, but I could still kill all of them.”

Changkyun was going to hand it to you. But then Yejun opened his mouth again.

“Did you not want to admit that your own mother abandoned you?”

That struck a chord. Changkyun dropped the phone and the gun and ran at Yejun. He was already bleeding, but Changkyun hit him with enough force to make his nose bleed as well.

A second later, the other two grabbed Changkyun and pulled him off of Yejun. Things went downhill again, and you couldn’t do anything as Changkyun tried his best to fight off three people.

What could you do? How could you help him? The pain was starting to numb, but you couldn’t even shift your weight without feeling dizzy. The only thing that could save you at this point was divine interference.

Actually… that might work.

“Whichever one of you is listening right now,” you whispered to yourself. “Please get us out of this… please.”

For a second, you thought it didn’t work. That no one was coming, and that you and Changkyun would both die there.

Then a bright light forced you to cover your eyes. When you were finally able to open them again, a stranger was looking at you with a concerned expression.

The fight stopped immediately as everyone stared at the newcomer. Changkyun quickly recovered from the shock though and came to stand beside you in case he was a threat.

“Angels do listen,” you almost couldn’t believe it.

The angel figured out the situation quickly and it was only a moment before he had a hand on yours and Changkyun’s and the bright light surrounded you again, forcing your eyes closed once more. This time though, you didn’t have the energy to open them again.

“It’s okay, you can rest,” you heard the angel speak. “You’re safe here."

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tehnardier · 6 years

Text

In A Crowd Of Thousands (Part I) — Steve Harrington

Series: In A Crowd Of Thousands (other parts here)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader, a little bit of Billy Hargrove x Reader

Words: 1434

Summary: Y/N asks her best friend since childhood, Steve Harrington, to be her fake boyfriend so she can make Billy Hargrove jealous.

Request: “I was wondering if you could do a one where you get rejected by someone - maybe Billy - and you make him jealous by the help of Steve, you both start to slowly fall in love with each other but they don't admit it until billy gives in to the reader and Steve and you get together maybe smut or just fluff it's up to you” by @xxchloegrayxx (I changed the plot a little bit, I hope you don’t mind)

Warnings: none

A/N: !! PLEASE READ THIS !! Ok, I’ve got quite a lot to say on this author’s note, so bear with me. First of all, I’ve decided to make this into a series since I really love the fake dating trope and couldn’t possibly fit all my ideas into only one part. Second of all, I’m starting a tag list for this series, so if you want to be in it just let me know (I’m tagging this ‘iacot series’ if you don’t wanna be apart of it). And third of all, I inspired this fanfic on the song “In A Crowd Of Thousands” from the musical Anastasia and I completely encourage you to check the song out because it’s adorable and I managed to put some of the lyrics in this, so I guess it’ll be fun to know it while reading. As always, feedback is appreciated. Enjoy (:

“Steve!” Y/N called out, running after the boy in question. “I need your help with something.”

Steve stopped and turned to Y/N smiling. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Before you say no, remember that I gave you the answers to that chemistry quiz last week. You owe me.” Y/N told him, holding his gaze with such intensity that it almost looked like they were on a CIA secret meeting, not in the middle of a crowded hallway in between classes.

Steve chuckled and crossed his arms. “Saying ‘before you say no’ before even asking the favor increases the chances of me saying no in about 80%.”

“Ok, when did you start talking about percentages and using fancy words like ‘increase’, Harrington?” Y/N teased him, bumping her shoulders with his. “I didn’t know I was friends with such a genius.”

“Increase is not a fancy wor—” Steve stopped himself and shook his head, wanting to get straight to the point. “Just tell me what you need.”

Y/N grabbed his arm and dragged him to a row of empty lockers, which was probably the most privacy they would get in a hallway full of sleep deprived teenagers. “I need you to come with me to Timmy’s party.” she said in a hushed whisper, looking around to see if people were listening in.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows at her confusedly. “Timmy’s party? You know that thing will be packed, right? You hate crowded places, especially the ones with drunk and horny teenagers.”

“Maybe I want to be a drunk and horny teenager for once.” Y/N snapped at him loudly, earning an even more confused look from Steve and glances from other students passing by. She puffed her cheeks out and held Steve’s arm tighter, pulling him a little closer. “There’s this boy I’m interested in and I need you to be my pretend boyfriend so I can make him jealous.” she explained, looking at Steve between her eyelashes and and pouting her lips, knowing that acting like that had been a fool-proof plan to make the boy go along with any of her plans ever since they were kids. Just as expected, he let out a defeating sigh and ran a hand through his face.

“You don’t have to do that to win a guy over.” Steve murmured, his voice muffled by the hand still in his face.

It was Y/N’s turn to sigh as she got hold of Steve’s other arm and brought his hand down. “For this particular guy, I do. And you’re the only one who can help me. Besides, half of the school thinks we’re dating anyway.” Y/N glanced down at their hands that had somehow found each other during their conversation, their fingers now intertwined. Steve looked down, too, and smiled a little, squeezing her hands tight.

They had always been like this: not afraid to be affectionate in public and never knowing the difference between acting like a couple and acting like best friends. It didn’t bother Y/N and Steve acted like it didn’t bother him. When Steve was only 10 years old, he learned what love truly was when Y/N gave him his first kiss and he couldn’t help but still think of that day now and then. It was a hot June afternoon in Hawkins and little Steve Harrington was out with both of his parents, which was a rarity on its own, to go to the park and get ice cream. Apparently, half of Hawkins had had the same idea, so the town was swarmed with happy families and friends walking around with huge smiles on their faces.

Even from a crowd of thousands, Steve had been able to spot his best friend sitting in a bench and playing with her little sibling. Steve remembered how he just stared for a while, amazed by Y/N’s serenity as she carefully took the toy out of her baby brother’s grasp so he wouldn’t chew on it. Then, as any 10 year old would do when they saw their best friend, Steve had started to run towards her, calling out her name. Y/N had lightened up when she saw him, standing up and running to him as well. Right when they had reached each other, Y/N’s parents called her from where they still stood with her brother, telling her they had to go. The next thing Steve knew, Y/N had given him a little peck on the lips. With the sun in his eyes, he hadn’t her seen run off with her family right after it happened, only hearing her giggle as she walked away, but he could still remember the happiness and love he felt at that moment. Mostly because, even after all those years, he still felt the exact same way whenever he was around Y/N.

“Steve! Are you listening to me?” Y/N said, waving her hands in front of his face and breaking him out of his little daydream.

Steve shook his head and focused once again on the girl in front of him. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I said,” Y/N started again, looking at Steve impatiently, “would you please come with me to Timmy’s party as my pretend boyfriend? We’ll only do it until I can get the attention of the guy I like, then we can pretend break up and say we realized we were better off as friends.”

This broke Steve’s heart a bit. He knew he had no chance with her, but to hear her say it out loud was just a whole new spectrum of painful. He figured he had at least the right to know who had won her heart instead.

“Who is this guy, anyway?” Steve asked in fake nonchalance, making his hands finally let go of hers and bringing one up to scratch the back of his neck self-consciously.

“It doesn’t matter.” she answered fast, avoiding eye contact with him.

Steve squinted his eyes at her, confused as to why she didn’t want to tell him who it was. Then it hit him. There was only one guy Y/N knew Steve wouldn’t want her to be with.

“Is it Billy?” Steve breathed out, trying his best now to let how disgusted he felt show on his face. The only response he got was a cringe from Y/N. He groaned loudly and looked up at the ceiling, wanting to just disappear in that moment.

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you!” Y/N said, gesturing to him with her hands. “I knew you’d overreact like this.”

Steve abruptly looked down, his eyes wide like saucers. “Overreact!? Y/N, this is hardly me overreacting.” he raged at Y/N, raising his voice.

Steve immediately regretted snapping at her that way when he saw her jump at the volume of his voice. He relaxed his posture and put his hands on his hips to keep himself from reaching out and hugging her.

“It’s just... Billy? Why him? He’s a douchebag and he doesn’t deserve you, Y/N.” Steve said weakly, knowing that he couldn’t hide the sadness in his tone even if he tried. Steve could only hope that Y/N would think that this was just her best friend expressing his concern and that he wasn’t being too obvious about his feelings towards her.

“It’s not like I like his personality or want to marry him, Stevie.” Y/N answered just as quietly. Steve’s face immediately softened when she used the nickname she’s had for him ever since they were little. “I just want to be a dumb teenager for once and hook up with a hot, even dumber guy. It doesn’t mean I have real feelings for him.”

What Steve wanted to say was that he would be more than happy to be a dumb teenager with her, but instead he settled for the answer he knew Y/N would want to hear, even if it hurt him the most. “Ok, I’ll do it.”

Y/N’s face lightened up just like it had that day in the park and she engulfed Steve into a quick hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” she said into his ear before pulling away, her smile wide.

“You don’t have to thank me.” he told her, smiling back meekly. Y/N didn’t seem catch on Steve’s lack of excitement.

“Well, I’ll call you later and we can discuss our arrangements.” she told him giggling and wiggling her eyebrows before waving him goodbye and walking away, leaving Steve alone in the school hallway to wonder what the fuck had he just agreed to do and how it could possibly lead him to his inevitable doom.

#please read the author's note!!#stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #my writing #my-writing #iacot series

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into-september · 5 years

Text

Banana Fish episode 20-21

The short version is that the only things I even like about this show any longer is Max and Yut Lung.

So chalk this up to the proud tradition of watching-stuff-just-to-complain-about-it, because I've invested enough time in this show to be talking about it at length anyway. There's going to be too much to say about its existence as an adaptation, about the timing of the release, about the inexplicable fact that they updated the setting but didn't update the content. If sullen complaints are going to be what it takes for me to get through the last four episodes, then complain I shall, and I'll be sharing it with the internet so that maybe some other lost soul might find comfort in it.

Sailor Moon's ending was spectacular, by the way, by which I mean that I would never have gotten over it if I'd watched the show when it was actually airing and I was actually smack in the middle of the intended audience. But I really loved it a lot okay, and certainly more than this contemporary.

Seriously, guys. Go watch Sailor Moon instead. It's funny and charming and way more entertaining and there are ACTUAL GAY PEOPLE BEING GAY AND SAYING THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND INDISPUTABLY BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ALSO WOMEN.

Oh, screw it all. I just realised that there have been no named women on this show who were around for more than two episodes (Max's wife and Ash's stepmum. Shorter's sister was at least named in the manga, and possibly Dr. Vegetable's housekeeper who was really working for Yut Lung was, too). I'll be re-watching this with my sister come Christmas break, and I swear I'll COUNT the number of women who aren't background extras because the last woman I recall having lines the nurse who tried to kill Ash some six or seven episodes ago.

EPISODE 20

- ugh WHY did you have to sully Canon's good name by putting it into this anime and putting it into DINO'S PARTY of all places. Maybe the cellist owed him money.

- I'm pretty sure this whole thing about people adressing Dino as "Monsieur" was just something the mangaka came up with halfway through and introduce because she thought it was cool, and then the anime didn't realise that adaptations are where you take the chance to fix the fuckups of the source material

- Cute how this is America and a mob-boss with more enemies than George Soros and yet no-one thought to pat down the staff and oh, Eiji, showing off that gun is not a good idea if you're trying to be undercover. Mostly I'm just disappointed that the show thinks it needs to remind the viewers that this gun existed, as if EIJI of all characters requesting one at the end of last episode is something we just forget

- Eiji runs at Dino with a gun drawn, is shot down before he gets within ten metres of him. Dino is arrested and is locked up for life. Max adopts Ash, who goes on to use his genius to find a way to cure climate change and cancer. Ibe returns to Japan owing Eiji's family some explanation. Yut Lung lets go of the ghosts of his past. Sing lets go of avenging Shorter. I can quit this anime reasonably satisfied, and turn my attention to re-reading the No. 6 novels and probably moan about the weird pacing or something. WELL THAT WAS A HAPPY ENDING BOY AM I GLAD THERE ARE NOT FOUR EPISODES AND TWENTY MINUTES LEFT OF THIS SHOW OR NOTHING HA HA HA ha

- And there goes Yut Lung with his Eiji hateboner. I KNOW it won't happen but let me hope for the miracle where he gets his wish granted and gets to shoot him in the face personally.

- Yeah Sing, IDK, maybe someone's should've told the civillian to stay home or at least wait behind the wheel of the getaway car so that someone who had fired a gun before could've not missed the child rapist trying to take over the country standing a metre and half away from him.

- Also: Most anticlimatic shootout ever. I thinkthey spent more time talking about the super important party last episode than on showing us the super important party in this one.

- WELL FOR SOMETHING THAT IS GENUINELY INTRIGUING: How upset Yut Lung is about Blanca's betrayal and how emotionally invested he is in whatever the hell it is he wants with Ash. I'm pretty sure he's in a position to get rid of whichever brothers of his he hadn't already killed, and whatever reason he has for cooperating with Dino, it sure as hell isn't because he LIKES him. So why exactly he's got such a personal vendetta against Ash is pretty much the only thing I honestly care about at this point.

- I like this entire "oniichan" thing between Ash and Eiji, and probably for all the wrong reasons. Just let me compare it to Digimon Frontier, which similarly established the "Takuya-oniichan" dynamic between Takuya (parted from his younger brother) and Tomoki (parted from his older one). Was it profound, on any level? No. Was the relationship between Takuya and Tomoki notable outside of it? No. But the fact that they on some level treated each other as the brothers from which they were parted gave their relationship this little flavour of some more profound psychological issues at hand, even if it was probably just to foreshadow and highlight the Kouji-Kouichi disaster. And even if it's a stretch to apply the same to Ash and Eiji, it would at least explain something if the two of them saw each other as the absent family members: If Ash saw Eiji as a chance to have a Griffin-who-lived, if Eiji saw Ash as subtstitute for his younger sister, then that would go a long way in explaining why the hell they're so irrationally invested in each other's safekeeping. I mean, it makes absolutel no sense because even goddamn Digimon Frontier had more elaborate sibling relationships than Banana Fish has, but let me pretend a bit, okay? Because even oniichan jokes lend more narrative logic than the absolute silence that has been entertained about the love that dared not speak its name in 1892 but if you're going to tell that omg cencorship, LET ME REMIND YOU THAT THIS AIRED ON JAPANESE TV IN 19 FUCKING 92

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- Oosa still lives on in our memories

- Oh good, I can appreciate Ash just waking up in time to instantly tear into someone for not being a feral genius child like him

- Eiji takes off on another ill-adviced suicide mission, and Cain speaks for all of us when he knocks Ash out

- Not that I question Cain's decision to have Ash tied up on the bed here, but ouch being tied up on beds is not the thing this boy needs to experience ever

- Other things to be counting upon the re-watch: Ash's body count, now increased with at least one

- On the one hand: How the hell did he just get into that museum just like that. I mean, surely there must be guards? Alarms? Locks on the doors that require more than blunt gun-induced force to open?

But on the other hand: IS THIS ZOOTROPOLIS OR IS THIS ZOOTROPOLIS and I'm fully on board with this if it's going to end with Ash pretending to be hit with Banana fish and fake-killing Eiji in front of Dino's eyes while secretly recording his premature bragging about his evil plans for using this drug to take over the world

- I can't believe I'm seriously hoping they shoot Eiji. What have this show reduced me to. I used to like him.

- oh good, I was hoping that Ash would just shove Yut Lung head first down the stairs and for once the show did not disappoint

EPISODE 21

I don't think "torture porn" is the right description for this story, and I'm getting the definite impression that The Manga Is Better, but someone being lippy in other fora means that I've got some expectations that I've no doubt will come about, given the story's previous track record. But my orchestra is having the Christmas programme from hell tomorrow and I sure won't be doing this after getting home from that past midnight, so let's just get it over with, shall we.

- Not to get into the fandom's internal debates or anything here, but Eiji ridiculing his sister's doki-doki good luck charm is a pretty good indication of the status of Eiji/Ash and "super canon confirmation" is not it

- I don't know the Japanese word for "hitman" but I sure perked up at recognising it here anyway. Thank you, Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, a far dumber anime that was ultimately a far greater joy to watch, and which also had a better track record at depicting gay men than Banana Fish has this far, with a good 100% of them being depicted as a) relatively nice guys since they’re the allies of the hero, b) not rapists, c) not pedophiles.

- My god is Sing actually going to have some plot relevance what is this trickery

- I just realised that we never learn enough about Eiji's babysitters for their names to be worth remembering. Because I actually do think these names were mentioned at some point, but don't ask me what they were. As far as I can tell, they're Scrawny Guy, Black Guy Who Was Somehow White In The Manga, and Not!Oosa

- In no news, I suppose, Yut Lung is seriously the only thing I'm enjoying about this show all the time Max isn't around, and I'm immensly enjoying his getting his own hands dirty and also his hear being wild and free to symbolise his deteriorating mental control

- Sing's plot relevance lasted for a full minute and half

- DADDY IS BACK

- And now also a sugar daddy. I approve.

- Oh this darling show, this is... what, the third? Yeah, the second or third time it's mentioned gay men, and all of them have been when showing us child rapists. Such representation, much progress.

- The one guy I'd LIKE to see Ash kill, and Max stops him. Boo.

- Ash kill count: +1

- It's sad how they just mentioned the French Foreign Legion and my interest just perked 20%, isn't it

- Max goes down like Dr. Marco and Ash, couldn't you just... you know... CALL HIM, THIS IS 2018, YOU HAVE SMARTPHONES

- Ash kill count +2

- A woman? In MY Banana Fish???

- Jesus, I completely forgot that Max is a goddamn Iraq veteran

#banana fish spoilers #sailor moon #digimon frontier #hakata tonkotsu ramens #banana fish #let's watch cartoons

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch

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How on Earth did we survive two years without new episodes of Netflix’s brilliant sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson? The first batch of six episodes premiered on April 23 of 2019 and proved instantly iconic.

Contained within the season’s roughly two-dozen sketches was absolutely hilarious and essential comedy that provided ample memetic kindling for the internet’s conversational fire. For the focused enough mind, it’s entirely possible to communicate with one’s friends exclusively in I Think You Should Leave memes. Lord knows, I’ve tried it.

Thankfully, ITYSL season 2 has finally arrived on Netflix after its COVID-19 delay. It features 28 sketches that range from “pretty funny” to “I can’t stop laughing. Oh God, I can’t stop laughing. It hurts, surely this is the end. Surely, I will die.”

Check out our rankings below and then begin yelling at our chances like Spectrum is dropping your network.

28. Credit Card Roulette

If nothing else, Tim Robinson and I Think You Should Leave co-creator Zach Kanin are incredible comedy scouts. Through two seasons, the show’s sketches have been a who’s who of up-and-coming comedic talent, like the wonderful John Early who is featured in this sketch. Unfortunately Early is not served well by the material here, which doesn’t rise to the same ludicrous heights as season 2’s other sketches. The best moment is Early’s immediate resolve that he’s not paying the bill, but the sketch doesn’t go too far after that.

27. Dave’s Poop Double

The sketch that serves as the cold open of season 2’s final episode doesn’t get things off to the best start. The concept of Tim’s “Luka” hiring a guy who looks just like his coworker Dave to take monster shits every time he gets up is certainly fun but missing an important layer of added absurdity. Luka is probably the best name for any of Robinson’s random characters yet though.

26. Little Buff Boys Pt. 2

Season 2 features many more callbacks to previous sketches than the first season did. This followup to Little Buff Boys is the worst of the bunch but still quite funny. Perhaps the only thing more absurd than a Little Buff Boys competition is someone being proud of running “one of” the biggest LBB competitions in the Greater Cincinnati area. This sketch also passes up an easy Cincinnati Chili joke in favor of creating the truly vile “cherry chuck salad.”

25. Detective Crashmore Trailer

This trailer for action thriller Detective Crashmore is funny enough on its own but doesn’t reach another comedic level until the AOL Blast interview two sketches later. Still, I unironically want to see an action film with a lead character whose main quip is “Eat fucking bullets, you fuckers. You fucking suck. You fucking SUCK!”

24. I Should Have Got That

I Think You Should Leave deserves a big spread in AARP magazine. No other sketch show revels in the talents of older comedians quite like this one. After 81-year-old comedian Ruben Rabasa stole the show in season 1, season 2 ups the ante with many more sketches letting old folks shine. It’s Bob McDuff Wilson’s turn this time around and his child-like obsession with his student’s burger kills right up until the shockingly dark kicker.

23. Office Surfing

“I almost killed myself, Jullliieeeeee” is one of the best line-reads of the season. The sketch it’s built around isn’t too remarkable but man, does Robinson knock that one out of the park.

22. “No, I Don’t Know How to Drive”

This is a quickie but a goodie. Robinson’s characters break down in tears quite often this season and this is one of the better occasions. How far have Tim’s characters come – from reveling in the existence of four-wheeled motorcycles to looking at the inside of a car and weeping “I don’t know what any of this shit is and I’m fucking scared.”

21. The Capital Room

Speaking of top tier comedic talent, thank God Patti Harrison stopped by another season of I Think You Should Leave. This time around, we get two heaping doses of Patti. This one, the first of the two, is the inferior but still quite great. In the span of roughly 30 seconds, Harrison unveils the saga of a woman who A. Got sewn into the pants of the Thanksgiving Day parade Charlie Brown float, B. Hates all bald boys, C. Sued the city and won a fortune, D. Is now helplessly addicted to wine, and E. Is tragically self-aware that her money will run out soon.

20. But It’s Lunch

Just like last year’s opening sketch, “But It’s Lunch” (this is probably a good time to mention, that I’m naming all of these things myself. You could very easily call this the Hotdog sketch but that would confuse it with last year’s hotdog sketch) sets the perfect opening mood. The sight gag of Robinson’s Pat trying to stealthily eat a hotdog is wonderful, and the fact that things so quickly escalate to hotdog surgery and puke is just sublime.

19. Carber Hotdog Vacuum

The follow-up to “But It’s Lunch” occurs a full two episodes later and proves to be a hell of a pay-off. Robinson’s unnamed character (who is obviously Pat) very quickly reveals that there is one very specific reason he made this hotdog vacuum invention and you’ll never guess what it was. We all make mistakes. We shouldn’t be fired for them.

18. Insider Trading Trial (Stupid Hat)

This sketch somewhat mimics the experience of trying to explain what I Think You Should Leave is like to someone who has never seen it. “So, this guy took too small a slice of toilet paper…” or “…and then he has to have to have sex with his mother-in-law.” “Insider Trading” rotely describes the bizarre behaviors of one of Robinson’s deeply strange characters, Brian, as it’s being read into the court record. Brian and his stupid fedora with the safari flaps is in attendance to provide a visual aid. As are some hilarious flashbacks in which Brian attempts to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire and instead encounters only wheelchair grease.

17. The Ice Cream Store is Closed Today

Before he was a criminal lawyer, Bob Odenkirk was one of the most legendary sketch writers of all time. It’s only fitting that he stop by ITYSL season 2 to provide his comedic blessing. Odenkirk is great from the get-go but this one doesn’t really get rolling until the end when Robinson finds himself truly immersed in the fictional life of this sad old man. “His wife’s sick but she’s gonna get better” is a shockingly emotional moment amid pure farce.

16. Barbie and the Blues Brothers

This is the sketch that climbed the most in my rankings upon a second viewing. What first seemed to be a waste of Conner O’Malley’s manic comedic energy became a semi-classic once I submitted to its strange vibes. I don’t even know what to call this one but Robinson’s character refusing to stop dancing as Barbie the dog melts down is hilarious. O’Malley is better served by last season’s “honk if you’re horny” sketch, still he gets some bangers in this time around like “She thinks he’s a whole new guy because of the glasses and the hat” and “it’s her house, she’s doing what’s right!” Robinson once again closes this nonsense out with some well-earned tears. “It’s just me, Barbie. I’m not the Blues Brothers.”

15. Jaime Taco (I Love My Wife)

“Jamie Taco” is a prime example of just how rapidly (and how well) I Think You Should Leave is able to veer into pure nonsensical genius. At the top, this sketch comes perilously close to making an actual statement about how men are too quick to pretend like their wives are horrible nags. This sketch, however, has its sights set on something much dumber…and therefore better. Our hero (played hilariously by Richard Jewell’s Paul Walter Hauser) loves his wife because she helped him through his darkest moment, which just so happens to be when snotty young actor Jamie Taco refused to let him say his Henchman lines in a play.

14. Comos Restaurant

All hail the return of the great Tim Heidecker! Heidecker, of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame, is one of the few comedians with a strange enough sensibility to be reasonably seen as an I Think You Should Leave forerunner. His season 1 turn as a walnut-obsessed jazz douche is a classic and this one reaches similar heights. This time, Heidecker’s character, Gary, and his lovely date, Janeane (Tracey Birdsall), have good reason to be annoyed by their date night at the sci-fi cosmos restaurant being interrupted by some hacky jokes. Of course, they use this opportunity to reveal that Jeannine’s mom used to drink puke for the Davy and Rascal radio show to pay for school supplies. It’s oddly refreshing to have a Heidecker character given a game partner and Gary and Janeane make one great team.

13. Detective Crashmore Interivew

While the Detective Crashmore trailer is the setup, this interview with AOL Blast is the punchline. Detective Crashmore is played by Santa Claus, because why not? Actor Biff Wiff’s gruff, nasally Midwestern timber is the perfect accent to accompany this lunacy. This is a Santa who in one breath demands to be taken seriously as an actor (Billy Bob Thornton-style) and in the next admits to seeing everyone in the world’s dick.

12. Sloppy Steaks (I Used to Be a Piece of Shit)

From here on out, it’s nothing but absolute homeruns. “Sloppy Steaks” could very well have been number one on this list and few would have batted an eye. The setup here is amazing as it gives Tim Robinson a reason to essentially have beef with a baby. The baby cries because he knows Robinson used to be a piece of shit. But don’t babies understand that people can change? That’s funny enough to begin with, but the real gut-busting moment here is the reveal of what “being a piece of shit” really means. In this case it means slicking one’s hair back and dousing the steaks at Truffoni’s with water to make sloppy steaks.

11. Johnny Carson Impersonator

Just a quick rundown for those who are confused…

Johnny Carson = Can Hit. George Kennedy = Can’t Hit. George Bush = Can’t Hit.

10. Driving School (Her Job is Tables)

This is the rare I Think You Should Leave sketch that actually provides an answer to all the lunacy. As Robinson’s character’s Driver’s Ed class watches Patti Harrison’s actress in some dated videos, they can’t help but wonder what she does for a living. “Tables,” Robinson answers over and over again. This would be funny enough on its own but the reveal that Harrison provides tables to Monster Cons is a rare and valuable moment of “Ohhhhh that’s why” for this show. Equally as valuable is Harrison, who really sells that those tables are her lifeblood.

9. Claire’s Ear-Piercings

One has to wonder how much time goes into choosing the perfect “order” for the sketches in I Think You Should Leave. Two seasons in a row now, the show has selected pitch perfect opening and closing sketches. This closing number is oddly melancholic as the Claire’s orientation video for girls who want to get their ears pierced somehow gives way to one 58-year-old man named Ron Tussbler’s existential dread. If we really get to see the “highlights” after we die, forcibly fake laughing every ten minutes to make the voyeuristic experience all the richer sounds like a good strategy and not sad at all. Hang in there, Ron.

8. Little Buff Boys Competition

What. A. Crop. It was a virtual certainty that ITYSL season 2 would feature a spiritual successor to the classic “Baby of the Year” sketch in season 1. Thank God “Little Buff Boys” is up to the challenge of replicating that magic. This one has all the right elements to be another hit: Sam Richardson (in a wig this time, no less), a grand pageant hall, and some precocious youths. Troll Boy also joins the canon of young ITYSL characters who everybody instinctively hates alongside Bart Harley Jarvis.

7. Tammy Craps

There’s something weirdly nefarious about this commercial for a poisonous doll that doesn’t have farts in her head anymore. It’s a criticism of late stage capitalism crossed with the cursed nature of the Annabelle movies…while not being like either of those things at all. In reality, this is just another absurdist concept sprung from the terrifying inner depths of the writing staff’s mind. It also happens to be a particularly great one. The girl weighing her clothes down with rocks so she can hit the magical 60-pound threshold to safely play with Tammy Craps is one of the best gags of the season.

6. Karl Havoc

“Little Buff Boys Competition” and another upcoming sketch are likely to produce the lion’s share of memes and quotes from this season of ITYSL. But the one quote that’s stuck in my mind most aggressively comes from this hilarious episode 1 clip. The sight of Robinson’s Carmine Laguzio posing as the dead-faced freakshow Karl Havoc and muttering “I don’t want to be around anymore” is quite simply one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. This is a marvelous, unnerving, utterly hilarious sketch. That there are somehow five better sketches speaks to how strong this season is.

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5. Dan Flashes Pt. 1 (Office)

I Think You Should Leave is now two for two in introducing the most cutting edge items in men’s fashion. Season 1 featured the arrival of the highly practical TC Tugger shirt. Now season 2 ups the ante with the stylish Dan Flashes. This sketch succeeds because it takes a simple question “Why is Mike laying down during a business meeting?” and divines the most outlandish answer possible. Mike isn’t eating because he’s spending all his money on Dan Flashes shirts.

4. Dan Flashes Pt. 2 (Hotel Menu)

It’s one thing to introduce a hilarious concept, it’s another thing entirely to put it into practice. This second entry into the Dan Flashes canon is amazing. Back in part 1, it seemed as though the intricate patterns on the Dan Flashes shirts have a hypnotic effect on men who look exactly like Tim Robinson. Seeing the reality of that – pasty men battling one another to get their credit cards to the cashier before the other – is truly hilarious stuff.

3. Coffin Flop

This is the second sketch of the entire season…the second! And holy shit, does it set a strong precedent for what’s to come. This impassioned message from the Corncob TV CEO for Spectrum to save his network and its precisely one television program is a masterclass in shock humor. Watching body after body busting out of shit wood somehow never loses its grim luster. Somehow, in a sketch that features dozens of naked corpses flopping to the ground unexpectedly, it’s Robinson’s monologue that hits the hardest. “This world is so fucked up. And people are mad at me because I showed a bunch of naked dead bodies with their spread blue butts flying out of boxes? Really?”

2. Calico Cut Pants

Every episode of I Think You Should Leave season 2 features five sketches save for episode 4 which has only three. And that’s because episode 4 is dominated by a near 10-minute epic called “Calico Cut Pants.” In many ways, Calico Cut Pants is the platonic ideal of an ITYSL sketch. It takes place in a nightmarish world where every bizarre action only leads to an even more bizarre reaction. Nothing ever cools down. There is always something stranger on the horizon.

In this instance, Mike O’Brien (longtime SNL writer and the creator of the terminally underrated comedy A.P. Bio) plays an office drone who enters into a living hell merely because his co-worker helps him out of a mildly annoying social jam. Robinson’s character introduces him to a website that advertises pants with piss stains on them. That’s all well and good but once you know about Calicocutpants.com you Always. Have. To. Give. It’s like PBS, but more demonic. This remarkable sketch includes everything that’s great about this show, right down to characters with inexplicable idiosyncrasies like Tim Robinson’s adamance that doors must always be held open for him.

1. Ghost Tour

The funniest moment in ITYSL season 2 (and maybe the funniest moment in the history of the world) occurs in this sketch. Tim Robinson’s character has been admonished for his potty mouth during a ghost tour over and over again. The tour guide even said he’s ruining his job. But this poor man sincerely cannot understand why he’s in trouble. This is a tour for adults and he’s following the rules by using adult language. Like any good Robinson character, he truly believes that he’s the sane one and it’s the rest of the world that’s taking crazy pills.

So in his darkest moment, the man musters up his strength through tears and delivers the following query:

“Not trying to be funny. Not trying to get a laugh. I don’t want anybody to have the worst day at their job. But. Do any of these….fuckers….ever blast out of the wall and have, like a huge cum shot?”

Cue: riotous, damn near apocalyptic laughter. What a treasure and blessing this whole show is.

I Think You Should Leave season 2 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch appeared first on Den of Geek.

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