#so I associate them with bad memories too lol

[cherry-purple]

yeah he basically built his career doing "deconstruction" videos of rwby after its third season on why it's bad like he recently did a hours long video about it "flaws" after its most recent season one of which being the fact that it has a slowburn wlw couple between two main characters 🙄 its his videos that turn people away from trying the series for themselves and he's a big reason for a lot that fandom's tags vitriol as (at least imo as someone who's been a fan since the start)

So I went to check on his channel cus this got me curious.

Idk if we’re talking about the same guy? Cus his most popular videos aren’t about RWBY at all and on his channel he still only has one RWBY video up.

Several of his most popular videos are much older than the RWBY one too so I kinda doubt that criticizing RWBY is what made him “famous”. It’s more plausible to say it was the Sherlock one cus that one has 11 million views but he never posted another Sherlock video on his channel ever since.

Like, his latest video is apparently about Roblox and it’s quite a bit more popular than his RWBY one too. Same with his Deus Ex Machina vid (right under the Roblox one) so again, it really doesn’t look like RWBY features much in his channel.

Unless he has an extra channel I don’t know about that’s all about complaining about RWBY?

#cherry asks #In my own case #before even watching the video tho I still wasn’t planning on watching RWBY cus the creators kinda frustrate me #in a way that makes me not want to watch their content #so even withoit Hbombers video I wouldn’t have changed my opinion on that #nothing against fans or the show itself #just the creators rub me the wrong way and also an ex of mine loved them #so I associate them with bad memories too lol

[mira0000000-blog]

It's kinda funny that I have fankids in the brain but they have almost 0 dynamic (or zero GOOD dynamic) with their parents they just go on silly shenanigans

#heroic pipe bomb and angsty traumatized but nature lover going on shenanigans #nerine is sur/gamy and he has pretty much nothing to do with his parents #and the other is unnamed son/adow that i just have concepts and uhh their relationship with their “parents” is pretty..bad. bad. #they both accidental clones lol and that unites them along other stuffs #nerine wants to be a hero but isnt conscious of certain things you associate with heroes like #he can save someone but destroy stuff in the enviroment in the process and does nothing about it just walks away #while unnamed kid forces him to fix the collateral damage because they care for nature like sonic #even if they dont like people at all #ohh my plastic cup personality babies.... #they do go on a time travel adventure cos Nerine starts to have some really screwed up memory issues #and unnamed has heard about Sonic having memory issues aswell (frontiers) #so they steal some emeralds and try to go to the past and they manage to do it #and they discover things and meet characters and stuff u know playing with dolls here #i dont want to go to sleep but i have too..... #also unnamed has shape shifting powers and does everything in its power to not look TOO MUCH like their parents #because they hate them that much :} #ok i will slep

[mouschiwrites]

Thinking thoughts about these guys again

Creepypasta/MH - Things That Make Them Think of You

Characters: Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, Clockwork, Nina the Killer, Tim/Masky, "Ticci" Toby

Jeff the Killer

Violence. Specifically, committing it

I know that sounds bad, but he gets so high off of that stuff

The adrenaline rushing through his veins, the wild smile that comes to his face, the noise, the sights... it's euphoria for him

And when he reaches his peak, endorphins at maximum saturation, that's when he thinks of you

It's almost like he subconsciously asks himself if there's anything in the world that could make him happy like this, and his subconscious responds by conjuring an image of you

As if he couldn't get any happier, thinking of you just pushes him higher

This happens a lot...

He'll be killing someone, already over the moon, then he'll blast to Mars when he thinks of you

And he starts associating you with violence; even if you're the gentlest person in the world

It's the happiness it brings him that links it to you

Though if you're a psycho (affectionate) like him, there might be another reason he associates it with you lol

It just gets worse over time; eventually he can't even see other people committing violent acts without thinking of you

He'll be watching a horror movie, and blood will splatter the screen and he'll be like: Nice. Y/n's nice too. Y/n... <3

Jane the Killer

Quite the opposite of Jeff; it's the quiet moments that get her thinking of you

(my reasoning is confusing but I'll try my best to explain T-T)

And there are two reasons for this

One, because whenever she gets a moment to think to herself, her brain always wants to think of you first

Maybe it's just hunting that hit of dopamine it gets when she imagines your smile, or the way your hands feel in hers...

Or maybe it's just that it's become a habit for her to think of you so often, so it's second-nature that she does so when she gets the chance

But the second reason is that she loves peace, and you are her peace :)

She's a vengeful person with a lot of turmoil inside, so when her environment is peaceful, she tries to follow suit

She's just taking what she can get before she has to go back to hate and obsession

So she imagines the peaceful things in her life

Namely, you

Even if you're not a very peaceful person, she feels at ease when she's with you

So, when it's quiet, she thinks of you to quiet herself

Memories of forehead touches and holding hands are more than enough to fill the silence :)

Clockwork

Literally everything.

I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but Clockwork will find the most random things that remind her of you

She’s got a very creative mind; she can find the subtlest of things that make her think of you

Oftentimes they’ll be disturbing things…. Like a dead animal or smth

But she gets a little smile when she thinks of you anyway :)

She’ll probably send you a picture of whatever it was that reminded her of you

So you’ll just get a text out of nowhere like:

[picture of a dead wasp] “thought of you <3”

After a while you’ll learn to just not ask

Because you’ll definitely get one of these texts AT LEAST every other day, if not every day

Sometimes they’re actually nice things though! Like a song or a pretty sunset :)

Or something she saw while shopping that made her think of you; she always makes sure to steal …obtain those things

And ofc she gifts them to you 😌

Nina the Killer

I think it depends on your aesthetic

To me, Nina is someone who’s very in tune with aesthetics

Even if yours is super niche, or it doesn’t fit under a specific category like “emo” or “butch” or even “clowncore,” she’s got it DOWN

And so it’s always things that fit your aesthetic that make her think of you

Maybe it’s a view: a dark forest, a bright sunset in your favorite color, a sunny park, an eerily empty sidewalk…

Maybe it’s clothing: pants, shirts, dresses, jackets… always the exact kind of thing you’d wear :)

Maybe it’s music: she listens to music like. All the time. So she’s definitely at least dipped her toes into a genre that’s so totally you

Or maybe it’s something miscellaneous: a pop tart flavor, a blanket, a picture, the color on a soda dispenser…

No matter what it is, you’re guaranteed to love it

She always manages to surprise you with yet another random thing perfectly suited to your aesthetic

And she’s always on the hunt for more >;)

If it’s something she can physically bring to you, you best believe she will though

And if you decide you hate it (you won’t, but maybe later when your aesthetic changes), you guys light a bonfire and burn it together :)

Tim/Masky

It’s a Polaroid picture of you

He’s not in the picture; it’s just you

The flash is on, illuminating you and leaving the background in dark obscurity

He took it himself one night when he was just enamored with the way you looked

He did it casually, just telling you to look at the camera

The rest was all you; maybe you smiled, maybe you threw up a peace sign…

Whatever you did, he felt it captured your essence perfectly

He stared at the photo for a long time after it came out, and he still stares at it frequently

He carries it deep in his wallet where no one can find it

He’ll pull it out when he needs to think of you, usually when he’s especially down

Which is pretty often, my boy is troubled :(

He’ll trace his fingers around the edges, remembering that night

Your voice fills his ears, your scent fills his nose, and suddenly he’s aching to see you in person again

And he will; he’ll probably call or text you soon :)

“Ticci” Toby

Honestly? Probably something super obscure related to some kind of inside joke between you two

I’ll paint an example

Maybe you two were in the kitchen together, and you wanted him to get out the milk for you

But you ended up calling it a “mug of jilk” instead of a “jug of milk”

Toby, of course, bursts into laughter

He teases you for ages afterwards, calling milk “jilk” and always pointing out jugs of milk with a knowing grin

You’re in on it too though

You always snicker whenever he does those things

Maybe that’s why it becomes so special to him; it amuses the both of you

He gets to laugh and hear you laugh :D

So (in this case) he’ll think of you whenever he sees a mug of j (oh gosh oh no you guys got me too) jug of milk

And he probably takes pictures to send you too

You’ll just get a text that says “jilk mugs spotted ‼️” and a picture of the milk aisle at the grocery store

He likes to imagine your laugh when he sends texts like those :)

Thank you so much for reading!! Take care my lovey doves <33

(divider by saradika)

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanons #marble hornets x reader #jeff the killer #jeff the killer x reader #jane the killer #jane the killer x reader #nina the killer #nina the killer x reader #tim wright #tim wright x reader #masky x reader #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #tobias rogers x reader #clockwork #clockwork x reader

[leverage-ot3]

okay I’ve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out 😭😭😭

bending lore slightly here BUT let’s say crowley’s body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesn’t care)

but he still has the guy’s memories. he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances with his ‘ex wife’ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he can’t quite identify, he still feels something towards his ‘daughter’. he lets the divorce happen and doesn’t feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good

some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. it’s mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they aren’t on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasn’t experienced in, well, he can’t even remember

he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. it’s great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business

one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his ‘ex wife’s’ new husband. he’s selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man

he calls upon the body’s adversaries. he wouldn’t admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (it’s the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesn’t know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (he’s fun to tease)

they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)

not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you can’t convince me that isn’t fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there aren’t any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they aren’t, really. they make him feel things he can’t ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. he’s exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and it’s infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it

and then the long goodbye job happens

hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I can’t remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.

so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but he’s fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. it’s not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.

and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.

not this time. not to sterling crowley

he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)

nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nate’s sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesn’t want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.

he yells at nate- he’s angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowley’s mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.

the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. ‘parker even know you got hardison killed?’ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isn’t fucking blind.

but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. he’s not even angry (he never would have been- he doesn’t actually try too hard to catch them. it’s about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because he’s fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.

‘now we’re even. tell sophie to drive carefully’. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesn’t actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.

watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. it’s not the end at all, not an end to anything. it’s a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it

#before anyone says anything YES I KNOW HOW SPN LORE WORKS I WATCHED IT FOR MANY YEARS #I am just making this silly post for my own (and possibly your) amusement #I’m not digging too heavily into spn plot because I haven’t watched in forever and don’t trust my memory to make accurate commentary lol #also I know it’s probably layed but lied looked better somehow don’t worry about it #sorry this is so long I wasn’t sure where to break it to a read more bc all of it was too important to me 😭💀 #tell me in the comments if you’d prefer a read more and where you think it should go #I haven’t been into spn for years HOW DOES THIS AU HAVE SUCH A CHOKEHOLD OVER ME #eliot spencer #parker #alec hardison #leverage ot3 #parker x hardison x eliot #(background) #nate ford #sophie devereaux #jim sterling #nate x sophie #nate x sophie x sterling #crossovers #leverage x spn #leverage x supernatural #supernatural #crowley spn #crowley supernatural #crowley #leverage #mine #not even queueing this I need it posted immediately. instant gratification #pls like rb comment etc I need the validation #I ended up putting a read more for the long goodbye job

[phefics]

Hiii (i love your content sm 💋💋)

How do you think the HG boys would react to getting pegged/reader wanting to peg them ?

peeta would be a little shy/hesitant at first, but he's pretty open to trying new things, especially if you are really into it. it takes him a bit to hype himself up to the idea, but once he's ready, i think he would really like it. he likes being at your mercy, putting his pleasure in your hands, because he trusts you completely.

gale is not doing that, lol, sorry, i can't picture a world in which he would be down for that.

finnick has bottomed before, not of his own free will, but he knows the process and has experienced it before. at first, he might not be 100% on board because of the bad memories associated with it, but he trusts you enough to try it with you. he finds that he actually really enjoys it, as long as he can see you during it (i.e. missionary-type position)

coriolanus would take convincing, not because he doesn't want to, but because he's too prideful. he does find it very hard to resist you, though, so he would end up agreeing to try it, once, and end up fucking himself on your cock, moaning like a slut. he tries to downplay how much he loves it, but you could easily make him beg for your strap.

sejanus would be a little nervous when you first suggest it, but he's bisexual and has considered the idea of bottoming before, so he's more just nervous at the reality of it than the idea, if that makes sense. he would be down to try it though, and he would end up enjoying it!!

#💌 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗. #peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #gale hawthorne x reader #gale hawthorne smut #finnick odair smut #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #sejanus plinth smut #sejanus plinth x reader #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg hcs #ophelia’s hcs

[lazerdash]

Harry Potter

Headcanons

photos from Pinterest - collage made by LazerDash

Summary: Spending time with the HP characters!

Word Count: 880

Warning: fluff, wholesome, cedric being a hopeless romantic, cuddles, kisses, hand holding, draco being draco.

A/N: I love the idea of how each of these characters act and just wanted to give my shot into making them! I hope ya'll like it.

-----> ☆

Harry:

• he will hang out with you anywhere to be honest

• you want to go to hogsmeade? He'll pay for whatever you want (boy is rich, don't forget that)

• he'll hold your hand the entire time to hogsmeade

• or he'll have a hand on on your waist/hip

• don't wanna go to hogsmeade?

• that's okay too!!

• he'll take you back to his dorm and hold you

• honestly he probably uses you as an excuse to not study or do his work sometimes

•though he will deny it if you ever bring it up

• he just wants to spend time with you! what's so wrong with that? right...?

• he might even let you try his glasses on if you ask lol

• he loves to make you laugh

• the jokes between you two is so wholesome as well

• he'll get all blushy if you call him cute too

• and deny it ofc and call you cute instead

Hermione:

• you + her = library

• just kidding... Well, not entirely.

• she definitely would love to show you her favorite books! (if you two have the free-time)

• she loves to read to you.

• and if the two- you weren't caught up on school work, she'd be there to help you.

•maybe she'll even cut you some slack if you haven't been feeling well lately.

• Besides that, you two might go hangout at Hogsmeade (she likes the three broom sticks)

• again, whenever she is free... she can't have her grades- or yours! Being interfered with.

• she may love you, but she also wants to make sure both of your education is well taken care of.

• she'll want to share all of her favorite places with you, that includes the library.

• it makes her happy that she can trust you can take you to those private locations

• once she trusts you enough she will take you to all of her favorite locations when she was a kid

• she may even make it a whole special day planned out for the two of you

Draco:

• this lil shit-

• he will presist for the longest time that he doesn't want to spend time with you

• for you to get him to hang out with you, you have to make him think it is your idea-

• and plead with him.

• "reluctantly" he will agree...

• be aware he will totally be complaining the whole time

• don't worry, he'll shut his mouth once you hold his hand

• he doesn't want to admit it but he secretly likes it (shhhh-)

• if you take him to the three broom sticks he will complain at first

• since he is so use to having some "actual" food

• he WILL be the one paying for the two of you though (so that's a plus)

• if you even suggest going anywhere near the forbidden forest-

• he will refuse

• he can't go be getting himself dirty.

• plus he has some bad memories associated with the forbidden forest (and dat bloody chicken!)

• so no Hagrid's hut or forbidden forest.

• if you two are looking for some more quiet time he will take you back to his dorm room where you two can just hold eachother.

• he doesn't want anyone to see you two in public or even to see him being so lovey dovey in front of others

Cedric:

• Loves holding your hand

• kissing your cheeks, head, hand

• he is a huge romantic!

• if you like more private locations then he'll cuddle you in his dorm room (he'll even sneak you in some food if you're hungry)

• but if you enjoy more outdoors or just wanna be social!

• He will take you to the three broom sticks (he will not let you pay)

• he will also take you to honeydukes! if you like sweets, he will be getting your favorites

• he will make this a whole day planned just for the two of you

• wether it is because the stress of school has been weighing on your shoulders

• or just because the two of you haven't had some time together lately

• he might even introduce you to his friends some time

• just so you two can hang out together more often and be apart of the same friend groups

Luna:

• You guys would totally be hanging out on the edge of the forbidden forest (or in it)

• basking in the sunlight and hanging out with the theastrals

• if you can't see the theastrals then she will tell you all about them.

• she might even take you to some other magical creature that you can see

• i swear all of these magical creatures just automatically love her (does that also make us a magical creature?)

• if you guys happen to be not be in the forbidden forest, you'll be hanging out next to the black lake

• sitting together as you talk about how your days have been

• if it is a special day or you guys just don't wanna hang outside

• she'll hangout with you inside the castle! she'll even point out the nargles floating around in people's ears

• not yours though (you're too pure to have nargles, I guess?)

• though, she prefers nature and the creatures

• if you two get hungry in sometime between then you guys will go sneak some food

• or you could just head to hogsmeade and grab something to eat there

• she also likes to hold your hand and walk beside you!

• and don't be afraid to tell her she is cute!! she'll thank you

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO LAZERDASH

MASTERLIST

do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or republish my work on another platform

#Harry Potter #HP #fanfiction #fanfics #fic writer #headcanon #writer #harry potter x reader #draco malfoy x reader #hermione granger x reader #cedric diggory x reader #luna lovegood x reader #lazerdashcreations

[theygotbitchesinmedia]

okay so here is her review: https://arkadymartine.wordpress.com/2015/09/27/the-traitor-baru-cormorant-a-reviewresponse/

admittedly its from 2015- i haven't poked around to see how she may have changed how she feels about it, and i know she did blurb seth's recent scifi novel (Exordia), so there's no bad blood there or anything. it's also a positive review, in general- she ends with this sentence: "I highly, highly recommend this book; I have not thought so much about something I read in a long time."

i am also coming into this as someone who has read all of seth dickinson's work for the game destiny, where he was near-singlehandedly responsible for a good oh… 80% of the interesting women (& overall interesting concepts lol!) in the game, and his writing of one of those characters in particular as a complex and flawed character got him bullied viciously off of all social media. if you've tried to find his social media presence and havent found anything, that's why. so i mayhaps have a little more emotion in the game.

THAT SAID. here are some specific parts from her review i find really fucking annoying! and color the way i feel about Memory & Desolation, despite them being so incredibly targeted at me as a classics person AND someone who fucking loves the specific sub-genre of scifi her novels are.

"[Traitor] asks a question which I find compelling as a student of an empire and as a queer woman. That question is: what do we gain by complicity? What do we – we barbaroi, we women, we queer people, we imperialized – what do we get when we say yes? When we say yes I will hide my true nature? When we say yes I will subsume myself into the beautiful machine? When we say can we speak English? Or the literature I love just happens to be written by straight white men – and mean it, too, mean it with the kind of depthless love that a person can have for a text that speaks to them, which holds up a mirror to them?"

i dont think the use of the greek word for barbarian does anything here (she also keeps coming back to the greek term orthos in her review, which also pisses me off lol), i dont think empire is a "beautiful machine," and i don't think the invocation of identity politics is useful. like. i know she's a byzantine scholar but if your first association with empire is purely a finite Historical Empire instead of, like, modern US imperialism, or British colonialism, you are going into this discussion with a certain set of values and opinions! a set of values and opinions that let you call an empire a "beautiful machine" in all earnestness. this claim probably seems unsubstantiated and nitpicky now just from this excerpt but ill come back to it with more i promise. on the idpol front, she also says immediately after this that she does believe that straight people can and should write queer people, but that they should listen to queer people when they point out those errors. she then continues:

"But then, critique: there are two points on which I think Dickinson’s portrayal of a queer protagonist has faltered, and I think both of these errors arise from the fact that he isn’t part of – as far as I know at the time of writing this review – a queer community. Firstly, I disbelieve Baru’s awareness of her own desires… …For the first portion of the book, her queerness felt more like a character trait assigned to her for reason of plot than a naturally built part of her as a person… Secondly, I wonder where queer people in Falcrest are…"

theres more to these excerpts, but. i personally didnt find the depiction of baru's desire to be unrealistic, and also this was a review of Traitor, specifically, so where on earth would baru have heard about queer people in falcrest? and more importantly, why should we care so much about queer people in the imperial core? moreover i think the way seth does it with svir is very very well done, and illustrates the hypocrisy of empire in a way that does NOT seem like what martine is asking for here!!!

"Why am I invested? I myself am a student of empire. I’m a Byzantinist. My academic work is about empire and its seductions; it is the animating principle of my professional life. And: I am myself someone who loves order over disorder. Who looks for systems in all things. Who is comforted by structures; who is concerned deeply with propriety. But here’s my real criticism of this book: I don’t buy the seduction of the Masquerade. And I think if this book fails, it’s there: in that its empire is too easily read as undesirable. As profane, unethical, fundamentally wrong. It is really overtly evil." … "The Masquerade isn’t civilized. It’s civilization, but I don’t recognize it as civilized, and this is a problem with a constructed empire. An empire relies on itself as the definition of civilization – I would footnote here Ann Leckie’s Imperial Radch as a SFnal example of an empire which is built on this principle, and which, for this reader at least, achieves the facsimile. (But then my ancestors were not enslaved, we were exterminated; not annexed, but exiled. Perhaps I like the Radch better than the Masquerade because I can find a place for myself in it, and cannot imagine a place within the Masquerade someone like me would ever be safe –)"

and THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM. critiquing the masquerade as not "seductive" enough, calling it too evil to have people join it- how does someone miss the point THIS badly??? like. are you FUCKING serious??? how do you read a book about the immense violence of colonialism and your problem is that it is boohoo too violent for people to join willingly. google literally fucking anything the US has done ever!!! and the invocation of the concept of "civilized" as an objective quality, despite the recognition that the empire constructs what counts as "civilization" is so fucking unserious/simplistic/juvenile! why do you need to imagine yourself a place in the empire? in the imperial core specifically!

and i think this particular approach bleeds into her books. i read them at Least 2 years ago, so this is mostly vibes-based, and i will avoid spoilers.

there is such a focus on the allure of the imperial core, on the "beautiful machine" of the empire as she calls it. there is violence done, but it is abstracted away from the wealth of the imperial core. there are no economics there. the empire sees her independent station as a backwater, and there is some cultural tensions there, but there is no realistic violence and exploitation! it is not clear at all what maintains the empire, besides some abstract idea of trade. i also don't know what her Point is with the naming & language conventions, which are very clearly inspired in part by ancient Mayan- e.g. the empire and core planet are called Teixcalaan. and idk this may be reductive of me but i think if you are going to pull features from civilizations that have been colonized and use them to inspire fictional colonizing forces, you ARE saying something there! idk! and like, the ancient Mayan

and on the ~representation~ front, i also don't think she does a better job than seth tbqh!!! i felt like the characters getting together came out of nowhere and felt anticlimactic- there is also not the tension i think there should be with the main character being an ambassador-ish and the love interest being… idr. junior intelligence officer iirc? idk! and for all her critique of baru's desire for women not feeling "real" or present enough, i do not remember the main character in Memory having any real focus on it!

i enjoyed Memory just fine, but i don't think it says anything interesting or novel or even critical about empire, and i found her review of Traitor extremely shallow and useless, if very revealing about her own outlook on empire lol!!!

this has been at best Minorly proofread and edited but im not like, writing an academic essay on the matter and so i apologize for any inconsistencies.

oh man thanks for this this is really interesting. i went and read the whole thing and i agree a ton with your critique. i'm going to stick my thoughts below the cut because i went on for a bit here, in typical fashion.

i personally didnt find the depiction of baru's desire to be unrealistic, and also this was a review of Traitor, specifically, so where on earth would baru have heard about queer people in falcrest? and more importantly, why should we care so much about queer people in the imperial core?

NO BUT EXACTLY... for starters this is explicitly a novel about colonized people taking place in a colony where none of the major characters are from the empire. where, when, and how would we take the time to explore what queerness looks like for them and more importantly, like you've asked, why the hell should that be a priority for the narrative in this case.

in terms of 'i found this to be an unrealistic depiction of queer desire' 9/10 times i feel like what that means is 'i found this to be an unrelatable depiction' which is an entirely different critique. i know i'm working with two additional books worth of context that martine isn't working with here. but even taking into account just the characterization we have for baru in traitor i think this is suuuuch an unfair complaint. i'm gonna pull the entire quote she says about baru's sexuality here because i have additional specific gripes with it.

Firstly, I disbelieve Baru’s awareness of her own desires. In the first portion of the book, I do not ever feel the weight of Baru’s own awareness of her sexuality; there is an absence of carnality, a kind of intellectual version of lesbian desire which is, to me, inconsistent with the sort of desire I expect. Not until the introduction of Baru’s eventual lover Tain Hu do I get a sense of Baru as a woman who loves women. Further, considering how very much the Empire of Masks and Increastic philosophy criminalizes the sin of queer desire, I wish Baru had struggled more with the nature of her desire. For the first portion of the book, her queerness felt more like a character trait assigned to her for reason of plot than a naturally built part of her as a person. This markedly improved in the second half, where Baru notices women in a way she does not notice men.

For starters, it is insanely hypocritical to me to complain that her desire both isn't carnal enough and she processes it too intellectually, but that she isn't struggling enough with it. Baru intellectually processes things! That's her entire character from the getgo! She also has a difficult time conceptualizing other people as fully realized beings with their own agency. These character traits paired together don't make for a particularly passionate and carnal relationship to her sexuality. She is also, at her absolute oldest in this book, 21! (Or 22? I can't remember. I know she spends 3 years in aurdwynn) and has spent her entire youth being groomed to be a scholar. Of course detached intellectualism is her primary way of navigating all things. Why wouldn't it be?

Baru primary motivation is to save taranoke, she wants to save the taranoki way of life, and part of that way of life includes an acceptance of nonhetero nonmonogamous relationships. Sure, a different character arc may have involved baru actually internalizing and then having to break free of the trappings of race, gender, and sexuality that the empire tries to impose upon its citizens. but that's not baru and acting like this is a writing flaw rather than a character choice is insane to me.

There's absolutely no reason for Baru to lie awake at night pontificating about how wrong and dirty of her it is to want to have sex with women because we are never lead to believe even for a minute that Baru puts any emotional weight in incrasticism. She doesn't conceptualize it as sinful she conceptualizes it as illegal!

And "Not until the introduction of Baru’s eventual lover Tain Hu do I get a sense of Baru as a woman who loves women. " is killing me in particular because like. Yeah. Tain Hu is baru's first love. thats the point. But beyond that this is just not being able to see anything other than what she's looking for because i think the chapters covering baru's childhood make it pretty clear that her feelings for aminata and cousin lao (im not double checking the name but im pretty sure it was this) are deep and strong. the fact that they're not as explicitly and straightforwardly romantic and sexual as her relationship with tain hu doesn't change that, and in fact, points to baru's struggle with/development of her sexuality that she claims was somehow missing in this book.

like i just simply can't see anything here but someone who is seeing an emotional landscape they can't relate to and assuming that means it's flawed writing. skill issue frankly.

She's also fucking insane for acting like the masquerade is too cartoonishly evil to be appealing. once again im going to post her full quote here because i think its important to see

its empire is too easily read as undesirable. As profane, unethical, fundamentally wrong. It is really overtly evil. It punishes sexual “deviants” with mutilation and death. It murders children callously. It inflicts plague and withholds vaccines. It lobotomizes its own emperors for the sake of convincing its populace that the emperor is just. Most of all, the Masquerade is a eugenicist empire: it is explicitly founded on not purity of bloodline but on purification of bloodline, on making people useful to it. It makes people: it breeds them carefully, it indoctrinates them through schools, it uses drugs and operant conditioning to transform their minds and make them into automata tools. It commits every atrocity that a modern Western reader recognizes as abhorrent. This is a problem. It is a problem because we are asked, as readers, to believe that there are reasons besides blackmail that a person would willingly become an agent of the Masquerade. We are asked to imagine that the Masquerade is a beautiful machine.

for starters. "It commits every atrocity that a modern Western reader recognizes as abhorrent." MODERN WESTERN EMPIRES DID, AND OCCASIONALLY STILL DO, MOST OF THESE THINGS!!! THIS IS US! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! I FEEL INSANE!!!!

I think the book makes it more than explicitly clear why the empire is appealing??? it has all of the capital???? its building schools and sewage systems and importing food and goods and teaching reading and writing??? baru's own internal narrative often shows her own strife at the fact that the empire has made genuinely incredible scientific advancements that offer significant improvements in quality of life to many, many people. martine actually acknowledges this in the next paragraph of her review, and then brushes it away as not being good enough. why? what about that doesn't convince you?

she is seeming to hugely ignore the fact that in the case of aurdwynn specifically, the bureaucracy of the empire is coming in to unseat feudal aristocracy! what the masquerade offers may not be particularly tempting to most of that ruling class, but its economic opportunities are more then believably appealing to the common people. i think this is made pretty clear when baru's ploy to use the fiat bank to make loans to the aurdwynni people and basically lessen the massive tax burdens from the duchies wins her huge favor with the public.

and frankly even for the ruling class the potential economic benefits are massive too if you're willing to participate in the empire properly. yes the empire doesn't have Moral appeal. it doesn't fucking have to. it owns pretty much every economy outside of the oriati mbo. the fact that that's not enough for her is as you've pointed out really really showing her biases and blind spots. 'no reason besides blackmail' MONEY!!!! MONEY! IT'S MONEY! THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT ACCOUNTING! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT!!!

and the invocation of the concept of "civilized" as an objective quality, despite the recognition that the empire constructs what counts as "civilization" is so fucking unserious/simplistic/juvenile! why do you need to imagine yourself a place in the empire? in the imperial core specifically!

And this is really it for me too, yeah. It's gross. It's absolutely gross. "An empire isn't believably appealing unless I, personally, find it appealing" there are people alive who are eugenicists, who love community policing, who believe in race science. the masquerade is an empire for them. the thing about empires is that they are only actually empowering for an incredibly small subset of people, and the fact that You, Specifically, Arkady Martine can't imagine being one of those people in this instance doesn't make it not believable. This is a shatteringly individualist way of engaging with a work.

As for your points about the way she handles empire in her own book obviously i can't have anything to say there because i haven't read it yet, but i do absolutely agree with you on this bit:

and idk this may be reductive of me but i think if you are going to pull features from civilizations that have been colonized and use them to inspire fictional colonizing forces, you ARE saying something there! idk! and like, the ancient Mayan

1000% i don't think this is reductive of you. whether or not you're consciously saying anything is one question but it's a choice that absolutely doesn't exist in a vacuum. out of curiosity i googled her to see if she was of mayan descent or anything and maybe she chose that due to some personal ties to the subject matter but she doesn't seem to be. which of course i don't think means she can't or shouldn't draw any inspiration from there but i do think all of these sorts of choices are meaningful

i don't really have much to say here to round off a conclusion but. wow. deeply deeply telling review that does not particularly make me want to read anything she has written beyond this.

#long post #lb baru cormorant #ask

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #1

Heyy, this is my first A.O. so I hope it isn’t too bad!😅

• Fire mercuries & Water mercuries are such a chaotic combo lmao!

• Cancer and Pisces Venuses together can make for an emotionally manipulative couple, especially if there's harsh aspects with inner planets.

• Leo mars looove taking selfies, photos, videos of EVERYTHING lmao they can even go as far as staging scenarios, but hey at least you can look back on those memories.

• Pisces sun Libra moons are such softies! Especially if they have a Pisces stellium!

• Leo moons can care so much about their appearance and what others think of them. Some of them have mother's with Libra placements, especially Libra moons.

• Aquarius moons may not be emotionally close with their mothers but have a best friends type relationship with their moms.

• Gemini moon moms might force their child into growing up via maturity while Virgo moon moms might force their child into growing up via emotional and sometimes physical distance.

• Underdeveloped Leo moons with Cancer risings can be so immature and ultra sensitive at times.

• Gemini risings tend to literally live with their head in the clouds. More prone to being taken advantage of by their friends or being hated on for their playful childlike mannerisms.

• Sun-Jupiter people can just be so full energy? Probably that one person that you might not see that often but when you do they always seem to be in a good mood. They're also the type to keep things optimistic even at the worst of times.

• Aries moons with Libra risings never really express their anger out in the open, they’re more likely to express it through passive aggression. If they have an Aquarius mars then they can explode unexpectedly.

• People love to associate Pisces placements with feet and foot fetishes but why is that more of an Aquarius mars thing though? Like I have seen several Aquarius mars men be into foot kinks.

• Checking the ascendant of your ascendant persona chart is essencial! Because whyy is it so accurate? My mom's natal rising is Cancer but her ASC PC rising is Aries and that is soo much more accurate! She also has a thing for dyeing her hair red all the time lol.

• Sag stelliums can be so nonchalant, funny and agressive. Like they will literally threaten you out the blue but 5 minutes later you’ll both be laughing at some crazy life story they just told.

• Libra risings can be the biggest gossips along with Gemini risings.

• Cancer risings, what is it with being on defence mode all the time? Especially if there's fire in the chart. Definitely gives off kill or be killed vibes.

• Capricorn moons and Aquarius moons vibe so well together. Literally me & my sister have these placements so we just click lol.

• Taurus stelliums can be soo possessive especially Sun/moon. But they're also charismatic and love to spoil their loved ones.

• Capricorn suns with water moons are literally the sweetest! Although with Scorpio moon they might be more reserved, they are literally so sweet and caring just more in a low-key way. And if they like you? They’re the biggest softies.

• Taurus suns with Libra moons can be so self conflicted at times, especially if they have water risings. They can also be kind of bipolar but they're sweet people. Another down side could be lack of self esteem, depression or suicidal thoughts. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not the end of the world and there’ll be better days babes. <3

• Fire moons (not all) tend to have kids later in life. Either that or they’re absent in their kids’ lives.

• They also tend to be put on pedestal by their children and seen as very fun parents.

• Water suns tend to idolize their dads when they’re little but as they grow up either they experience a traumatic situation involving him or they realize their dad built to their trauma in some way. And so their rose colored glasses come off. • Air risings tend to be the spitting image of their fathers. With their mother’s tempers and slight mannerisms.

• Capricorn/Aquarius in big 6 can indicate being the oldest sibling. • Libra risings are so adorable, like they will literally ask their best friend for their opinion on almost everything. Even for the slightest things. Then again almost all Libra placements are like that.

• Libra placements 🤝 asking for others’ advice, agreeing with it, then doing the complete opposite.

• Aquarius mercuries can be so logical but at the same time can say the weirdest shit ever.

• Sag mercuries can say the most out of pocket stuff and still think it’s normal.🤪

• Gemini moons/Gemini risings 🤝 talking about feelings instead of openly expressing them.

#astro observations #astroblr #astro posts #astro placements #astro community #fire mercury #air moons #water moon #fire mars #fire moon #water rising #air rising #earth moon #rendezvous-fling

[greghatecrimes]

Thirteen & Meltdowns

A couple of us in @hegory-grousing 's server were chatting about autistic Thirteen & autistic House interactions earlier today, and I decided to be very brave (lol) and share some of my thoughts on Thirteen and meltdowns, overstimulation, etc. I had a lot of fun doing that so I thought I'd throw them into a post on tumblr too, for my #autistic thirteen tag. :)

I think Thirteen would force her overstimulation/meltdowns down and almost completely internalize them. She would feel a need to be as normal and quiet as possible on the outside, because expressing stuff like that outwardly is something she associates with her mom's Huntington's and the bad memories that go along with it (like how she got screamed at, etc).

One of the main things we were chatting about was House, who was punished into masking and acting neurotypical by John, noticing Thirteen's autism and encouraging her in a very dadlike way to unmask.

The first time Thirteen is overstimulated and nearing a meltdown around House, House tells her, "Just let it out." Thirteen stares at him with huge eyes (deer in the headlights look) and then House says again, "I mean it. Let it out. Stop sitting there trying to shove it all back inside. There's no one here except for you and me, and I could not care less. So let it out."

So over time he gradually tries to encourage her to unmask and "let it out" more and more. But Thirteen's been forcing it down for so long that it all gets stuck, until it reaches the point where she needs to let it go but she doesn't know how. And so the next time she's overstimulated or starts having a meltdown, her nervous system and brain get so overwhelmed with the need to get it OUT that she just starts clawing at her arms and chest for some kind of release, hard enough to draw blood. And House usually wouldn't touch her without her permission, but when he sees her hurting herself like that, he'd just grab her hands and pull them away.

She stares at him, totally deer in the headlights because she's floored that he actually did it, and then snaps, "Stop it!"

House keeps her hands in his and very firmly tells her, "No."

("The only blood allowed on this carpet is mine, got it?")

#autistic thirteen #remy thirteen hadley #i'm nervous to post this for some reason but fuck it. we ball. YEET #greg house #autistic greg house #headcanons

[laughing-with-god]

How would victor jungkook be ?

in terms of what? like yandere or his story?

well, my original plan was that Victor's revenge would be the sequel to Quarter Quell once JK won it and he'd join the other victors. However, I used Taehyung in QQ so it wouldn't make sense if he was also in VR lol. Ofc, i can prob do a rewrite and just replace taehyung in QQ, but idk.

either way, here are some random headcanons for how I picture jk as a Victor

thinks some of the other victors only won on a technicality and doesn't mind making passive-aggressive comments about it

does NOT like being associated with Jin or Jimin's weak asses, thinks they're sneaky little shits who had to rely on tricks bc they would lose in a physical fight

he's very popular as a victor. tbh i think he's the only one who rivals jimin's popularity. the capitol love how bloodthirsty he is. while jimin mainly has female fans, jungkook has a good mix of both since men want to be like JK, and obvi women find him hot

I think he'd do a lot of tv shows and interviews. he knows people value his input for games so I can see him offering his insight on current tributes. remember the scoring system for how tributes would get rated? i can see him being asked to be on the team that assess those.

as a mentor, I think he'd be the type to pick a favorite and only really focus on that kid. he doesn't care if it's heartless, he's not wasting his time on a lost cause just to make them feel better.

I can see him looking at the other kid like "you might as well live it up while you can, you probably aren't gonna make it past the bloodbath."

if by some miracle that kid did survive and win, JK would be like ".....damn, guess I owe you a drink. my bad. welcome to victor's row tho :)"

as a mentor, he will tell his kids to just stick to the career alliance. if for some reason a kid from 2 wanted to align themselves with someone whose not a career, JK would just be like "ur on your own w that" bc ain't no way he's gonna attempt to talk to non career victors who prob hate him

I think he's another victor who splits his time pretty evenly between the capitol and his home district.

does not have to sell his body or anything because he is a capitol fav, but I do think he'll make shitty comments towards jimin

"Hi whore- I mean, Jimin"

yeah those two hate each other lol^^

doesn't really have any triggers or trauma from his games.

if anything he looks back at it with fond memories, which kinda freak the rest of the victors out

I don't think he has any victor friends

thinks jin and jimin are weak, namjoon is too clever for his own good, yoongi is annoying, hoseok is ungrateful and tae is just there...

I think yoongi is the only one who outright tried fighting jk once in a drugged up rage

jk prob made a comment about a tribute from 6.

"I bet if we put morphling in the cornucopia she would've actually survived the bloodbath. all kids from six are just addicts."

yeah yoongi tried punching him for that and Jk wiped the floor with him, namjoon had to get involved

I don't know how he'd spend his winnings tbh. I don't see him being really into anything other than weapons.

As a yandere, i think he'd try really hard to market you guys as the ideal victor couple

he'd def talk anout marrying you and having other victor babies in interviews n shit

"when it comes time for Yn and I to train our kids for the games-"

it's an open secret that the capitol just let JK have you lol

[underqualified-human]

Pomefiore + Octavinille: Siren S/O

→ Request: Hello, I love this book so much. Can we have a gn!/fem!siren!reader with Octavinelle and Pomefiore? Headcanon please. It’s fine if you don’t wanna or can’t, I just love sirens.

→ A/N: Fun fact: My Yuusona is actually half-siren so this was a super fun prompt! [wasnt sure which type of siren you wanted so I kept in sort of vague]

→ Warnings: no beta,

→ Fandom: Disney: Twisted Wonderland

→ Genre: Headcanons

→ Pronouns: They/Them

Vil Schoenheit:

Power couple, immediate power couple

Posts a bunch of pictures of you guys together on his Magicam account [if you’re okay with it]

Spends a bunch of money on wing/tail care products that you might need

Tries to use his charm on your sisters/family and they are having absolutely none of it lol

Is initially very curious about your singing but understands your apprehension completely

Adding on to the previous point he defends you against people that may have a negative view on sirens [earns him a few points with your sisters]

Rook Hunt:

Wants to hear you sing so much that it rivals Odysseus 

”You know you'll die right?” “It'll be worth it”

Knows you get a lot of compliments based on your looks, so he waxes poetically about your personality

Acts the exact same way around your sisters/family so you’ll have to stop them from killing him

Super into learning about how you care for your non-human appendages

Epel Felmier:

He lives in a semi-landlocked area so he doesn't think it’s that big of a deal

Super nervous about meeting anyone in your family

Won't admit it out loud but definitely wants to hear you sing

Gets a little defensive when he sees people getting too close to you in public

If you have to care for your wings he goes “Don’t worry I’ve dealt with chickens before!” then backtracks if you get offended

Azul Ashengrotto:

Power couple vibes but he's secretly dying on the inside whenever he's near you

Immensely insecure, please reassure him

Wants you to sing at the lounge but then remembers it makes people kill themselves :(

Has discussions about the ocean with you, even if he doesn't have many positive memories associated with it

He knows how important family can be, so he’s absolutely terrified to meet them. While the Pomefiore group doesn't know much about sirens, the mers do.

Please defend him if your sisters/family says something rude, he will not do so himself

Honestly kind of bad at caring for tails or wings since he only has tentacles, but he tries his best

Floyd Leech:

Knows what would happen if you sang but still wants you to do it anyway

Talks to you about random land stuff that he thinks is cool

Brags about you to anyone who will listen is close enough. It’s usually the basketball club

You introduced him to your family and like 5 more ships got sunk that day. They want you to bring him around more often

Isn’t all that good at helping you with tail/wing care, but he does try

Jade Leech:

Power Couple #2

If you guys walk down the hall students part like the red sea

Shares a bunch of information about land plants [mushrooms] with you. You have no choice but to listen, he won’t take no for an answer

Subtly uses the fact that he’s dating a siren as leverage when dealing with customers

Helps you groom your tail/wings

Gets along pretty well with your sisters/family. He knows that they could kill him, but he trusts you enough to not be afraid

Tagging: @angelchanisaweeb [requester]

#aries writing #vil shoenheit x reader #vil x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #rook hunt x reader #rook x reader #epel felmier x reader #epel x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #jade leech x reader #jade x reader #floyd leech x reader #floyd x reader

[mrmorganswoman]

Hey, I've always thought about a girl who made Arthur that way... cold but soft at the same time, serious but funny.

Maybe she was in the gang when Dutch and Hosea found Arthur. She tried to help him. She saw both him and John as her little brothers.

Maybe she was the old Arthur of the gang, hunting and dealing with folks, making money for the gang. Maybe that's why Arthur is like that.

She died miserably, that's for sure. That's why Arthur chose to copy her persona…can you write something like that?

omg that is just a heartbreaking amazing idea omg!! the exact type of thing i like to write lol. also congrats to you on being my first request!! Xx

Dear Sister

How many years had it been?

‘Too fuckin’ many…’ Arthur thought with an angry sigh. He had the date written down in his journal, along with a sketch of her. And pages upon pages written about her, of every memory of her he could recall. He could go and look, if he had a mind too. But he never could bring himself too. It was too painful. He looked at the small whiskey bottle in his hand, and downed the last couple of gulps. It burned, but that was good. Better than whatever it was he was feeling before.

“Arthur, honey come 'ere. Sit down with me…”

The teen grumbled, before sitting down next to his older sister. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder, and it was like the anger within him melted away. He leaned his head on his sisters shoulder and sighed.

"What's wrong with you, kiddo? Talk t'me."

Arthur sighed into his sisters shoulder, and felt stupid tears prickling in his stupid eyes.

"I feel like a fuckin' fool. I wasn't shootin' right- And then I got mad at Hosea by mistake and now here I am- Dammit why can't I just be like you!"

She started stroking Arthur's honey blonde hair, giving his scalp a gentle massage.

"You listen to me Arthur." She began, her tone comforting and warm. "Even I have my bad days, where I can't seem to make my shot on the first try or when I make a dumb mistake on a simple job. It's fuckin' hard, aint it sweetheart?"

Arthur nodded, absorbing every word she said. Taking every breath to heart. He loved his sister so so much, he really did wanna be like her when he grew up. She was the best gunslinger he knew. She was Dutch's most trusted associate. She was orphaned, just like him, and taken in by Dutch. And now here she is, the finest outlaw Arthur knew! She did good for the gang, making them money, pulling off the most complicated heists with ease. She could hunt, moving through the forest like one of them lynx's, silent and deadly. And, according to Dutch, she was the best enforcer they could ever hope for. Never once failing to collect a debt, or scare people off their trails.

"Honey you listen to what I'm telling ya' now. I want you to never forget your worth. You are a skilled, gifted, good young man and ya' always will be. Don't you never let anyone tell you otherwise. And when times are tough, you are tougher. I want you to be strong for me Arthur, always. You promise?"

Arthur pulled away from his sister, looking at her in her pretty blue eyes. Though he would never tell her that.

"I promise. sis. I'll be strong for that stupid little John too." Arthur said, his tone is light but he meant every word with a deadly seriousness.

"Atta boy!"

Arthur looked at the bottle in hid hand, and with an enraged yell smashed it against the nearest tree. It shattered, a few sharp shards flinging back and cutting him in the face.

"Arthur! What the hell is the matter with you!?"

Ugh. Of course it had to be John.

"Get lost!" Arthur snapped, quickly standing up off the ground. Arthur stormed off, but stubborn John followed him anyways. "Marston god dammit leave me ALONE!"

“ARTHUR!” John yelled. Arthur snapped his head around, enough anger in his eyes that John was surprised he wasn’t dead. "Arthur you’ve gotta know by now that I know when she is on your mind! I know how you feel! She was as much as sister to me as she was to you! And-”

“WERE YOU THERE WHEN SHE DIED?!” Arthur roared, every speck of rage, grief, and sadness he was feeling fueled his words. “WERE YOU THE ONE WHO HAD TO LOOK INTO HER EYES AS THAT AXE WENT THROUGH HER HEAD!? DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF HER SKULL CRACKIN’?! DID YOU HEAR HER SCREAMING YOUR NAME FOR HELP WHEN THERE WASNT A DAMN THING IN THE WORLD YOU COULD DO?! DID YOU HAVE HER BLOOD COVERIN’ YOUR HANDS? YOUR CLOTHES? IN YOUR HAIR?”

“Arthur-”

“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH MARTSON CAUSE I AIN’T FINISHED!” Arthur inhaled a deep and shaky breath before he continued. “You know what it sounds like, or how it fuckin’ feels to have to pull an axe outta someone’s skull? The way it sticks, how hard you gotta pull on it? The sound when it is finally unstuck?”

John sat there, motionless. The words Arthur spoke made him ill, but it was the truth. Their sister died a horrible death, one she didn’t deserve in the slightest.

“I couldn’t even bury her body. I had to run. They shot my horse dead, and when I came back she was gone.”

John opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. When John didn’t speak, Arthur continued.

“So Brother.” Arthur spat, the venom in his tone enough to make flinch away from them. “Don’ tell me you know how I feel, cause I can assure you, ya’ haven’t got the slightest fuckin’ idea.”

With that, Arthur stormed off. He headed deeper into the woods, not giving a damn about the time of night or predators or anything. He needed to be far away from everyone and everything, to clear his head.

He knew he couldn’t save his sister. Then or now. She was gone, nothing left of her but the gamblers hat on his head. It had fallen off, before….

‘I’m gon’ kill that son of a bitch…..’ Arthur thought, knowing with a deadly certainty that this was the only thing he could do. He had attempted to find them before, but this time he wouldn’t fail.

He couldn’t save his sister, but he damn sure would give her the redemption she deserved.

a/n: thanks for such an amazing request anon! i might have to include this sister in the fic im working on rn! Xx

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan fic #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan fanfiction #Arthur Morgan backstory #Arthur Morgan has a sister? yes. he does. #dutch van der linde #rdr2 dutch #john marston

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

What are your favorite things about the turtles that you like about them individually starting with Leonardo and then Donatello and then Michelangelo and then Raphael

My favorite things about the individual turtles (or things I associate with them)

Warnings: Somewhat emotional, talks of bullying by adults.

All Turtles:

I feel like this is very important to mention first, as it speaks a lot about my love for the turtles in general. All of these reasons are very much personal, and have very little to do with the turtles personalities, and more memories I have with them and other people in my life.

I have been a TMNT fan ever since kindergarten. I was 2 years old when 2003 turtles first came on television, so when I started in kindergarten at 3, they were already pretty established not just for me, but all of the other kids in kindergarten, especially the boys. And that leads us to another important point - I was a tomboy when I was young, and to a certain degree I still am to this day. I hated pink, and would scream and yell if I was put into a dress. But I did enjoy “boy clothes”, and I did ask my mom to only buy me “boy clothes”, so she did. I also played with action figures or played “rough” with the Barbie dolls, and my closest friends were all boys, or girls that somewhat understood my way of playing.

Now, being a tomboy is nowhere special or anything abnormal, but in the kindergarten I was in, the adults not only saw it as abnormal and concerning. I was never bullied by the kids in my kindergarten, but I was by the adults. They sang songs that made me cry, and they tried to force me to play with toys a certain way. At times I even tried to run away from my kindergarten, going so far as to jump the fence and run home. It got so bad that my dad, who at the time worked at the city council, had to step in and threaten them with legal action, just to make them stop singing the song that continuously made me cry.

But throughout all of this, every high and low in kindergarten, I clung onto TMNT. It was how I could play with both boys and girls, and became my first hyper fication. It even led to a description of me that the other kids would use when describing me to the new kinds; “This is (...). She wears boy clothes, hates Barbie dolls and loves Ninja Turtles”.

TL;DR, TMNT became my comfort obsession during bullying from adults in kindergarten, and it has stuck ever since, coming back during my depressive episode in 2023.

Leonardo:

Leo has always been my favorite ninja turtle. My favorite color was and is still blue, and I like to think he had something to do with it. He was the turtle I would dress up as at Fastelavn, and I really looked up to his views on honor and responsibilities. Back then I was the oldest child in the family, and I took my role as big sister very seriously, often seeking to protect my little brother.

I will even go so far as to say that Leonardo was my first fictional crush. I still remember watching 2003 in the living room, and getting somewhat irritated that he wasn’t real. Even more irritated when people had to bring up that none of the turtles were real. Way to kill the vibe for a 3 - 5 year old, lol.

In kindergarten, I would hide the Leonardo figure, or just walk around with it in my pocket. I clung to it, and got really sad when someone wanted to take it, since they were playing with the other turtles. Not long ago my brother dug through our old toys, and found the Leo figure my parents got me when I was young. It is now sitting in a bowl next to a Barbie doll I won at drag bingo, lol.

To this day Leo is still my favorite. I resonate with him and his struggles quite a lot. Each version of him always struck something with me, providing me with some sense of comfort. Maybe it is because he wants to protect, and that made me feel protected? Or he seems very driven by rules and morality, in a way that I do too. If I don’t, I get really anxious, so it’s nice to see someone else do it.

Donatello:

My love for Donatello is relatively new. I’ve always loved him, but for the little version of me, he was often forgotten. He was the last figure I would react for, and was the last turtle who’s name I remembered, often referred to as “the purple one”. Generally, in the kindergarten I went to, it was the fewest who showed interest in Donatello, always fighting over the other turtles.

However, as an adult, I’ve come to admire Donatello much more. It took quite some time before I came to realize the importance of him, and I would like to say that Rise played a big part of that. Up until then, I remembered Donnie as being shown as the “least coolest” (which I know now is very much not true”.

With Rise Donnie being coded with autism, my brother suddenly had a turtle to mirror with. While I had Leonardo in my childhood, my brother now had Donatello in his teenage years, and to be honest, that means a lot to me. To me, Donnie has now become a character that symbolizes late but powerful blooming. My brother is first now finding himself, and he turned 20 a month ago, so when he tells me that Rise Donnie makes him feel represented, and showed him that someone like him could be loved, it really touched me.

MM Donnie is currently the turtle in the keychain I’ve attached to my backpack, and is the turtle that has made my brother interested in TMNT. I sat with my almost 2 year old niece, and she noticed the Donnie on my backpack. She started to play with it, and it very quickly became a great bonding experience. So to me, Donnie is closely tied with personal growth and bonding.

Michelangelo:

I’ve come to realize that I have much more in common with Michelangelo than I first thought I had. First of all, he is the orange turtle, and I’m a natural redhead, so we match. Second of all is ADHD. It wasn’t until I was 21 that I learned I have ADHD, and just before I learned how to tackle it, I was hit with the death of my grandma, and had to quit work due to stress which turned into a pretty bad depression.

Those that have read my Bayverse Children Series, know that I’ve called Mikey’s daughter Sunny and his son Luis, both names that I connect with ideas of the sun. Sunny because it sounds like the sun, and Luis because it makes me think of king Louis the XIV, aka, the sun king. That is because I see Mikey as a very happy guy. Obviously, he is not happy all the time, and when we do experience him being sad or mad, we know that something is very wrong. But he generally has a very upbeat personality that reminds me of the sun, or maybe even just sunlight.

If Leo is the comfort and a personality I can see myself in, and Donnie is personal growth and bonding, then I see Mikey as the light at the end of the tunnel. An friendly and sympathetic person that wants the best for you, and will help you on the road to recovery. That’s at least how I see him and his brothers, as imaginary friends that have wished me the best.

Doesn’t hurt that he is a cat person. Every moment or scene with Mikey talking to or helping a cat, very much reminded me of me and my own cat. Me and my cat was just as close as Mikey and all of his cats are. RIP Mini💔

Raphael:

Leo is my comfort and the turtle I mirror in, Donnie is growth and bonding, Mikey is a helping hand through the darkness, then Raph is personal drive and passion.

In kindergarten, Raphael was my second favorite turtle, but I do remember that he was many of my friends' favorit. During my internship at a different kindergarten, I learned that he was all of the kids' favorit. And honestly, I see why. To me, he is the stereotypical young kid that doesn’t know how to express his emotions in a healthy way, leaving them with a lot of strong emotions that only keeps building and building, until it reaches a boiling point. And I’m pretty sure that a lot of people can see themselves in that.

Like many people we meet in our life, Raph has a really hard exterior, but is truly a really emotional guy on the inside. I think many kids see themselves in his emotional outbursts, and understand the frustration and build up he can feel. But that doesn’t make him less of a good person.

At my internship, I learned that one of the kids from last year that is now in school (I never met him), was actually named Raphael. I’ve told this before, but he was a big TMNT fan and would carry plastic sais to kindergarten. I later learned from the adult working there, that he also had the personality of Raphael, and was in some ways just as “hot tempered”. He had a hard time communicating with the other kids, as his emotions would often get in the way, causing him to lash out due to his frustration. And yup, he did throw one of his fake sais ast one of the kids once. But like the turtle, it didn’t make him any less good. From what I’ve been told, he was very passionate about whatever he did, and was very good at involving other kids in whatever he was playing or doing. He has obviously had a big impact on said kindergarten, as even a year after he left, they are still talking about him. And honestly, I get it. If his anything like the turtle Raphael, he is obviously lovable, even if he could be a bit of a hard nail sometimes.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raph #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt leo

[peeweekey]

everyone adores you (at least i do)

pairing: sam x reader

wc: 1.1k

tags: CHEEEEESY cheesy cheesy puppy love, mutual pining, sam is PATHETICALLY down bad, pre-relationship, abigail and sebastian mentioned, friends to lovers

synopsis: if it were up to sam, he'd spend every second of everyday at your side.

a/n: in all of my other sam fics, its reader embarrassingly in love with him...he gets a taste of his own medicine here lol!

With vanilla ice cream melting and dripping down your fingertips, coarse sand underneath you and the salty ocean waves lapping at your feet; you are a child again, sitting with your grandpa at the docks, watching as he reeled in a ‘big one’. Filling his bucket with loads and loads of fish.

Those days are far gone now, but the memory remains, as clear as the day you remember it. The feeling is nostalgic, sleepy in the way your senses are dulled by syrupy thick contentment. Beaches at sunset have that effect on you, you suppose. 

“This is fun,” Sam says, tone lacking its boisterous loudness, you almost don’t hear it over the sound of crashing waves. “I had a lot of fun today, farmer.”

Your eyes flicker to him, his green gaze dead-set on the peachy golden sky, the taste of sea salt mingling with sweet ice cream heavy in your tongue. The sea breeze is cold, whipping against your face and running through your hair.

“I did too,” you agree. “Y’know, I don’t get a lot of off time with the farm and stuff. This is a nice change of pace.”

He smiles, that sunshine smile you’ve come to associate with Sam. “I caught you at just the right time then, huh?” 

You shrug, your own smile mirroring his. “Auspicious.” He did.

The sun is setting, the day is coming to a close yet Sam wishes it wouldn’t, silently pleading with any higher being to somehow stretch time. He is barely a religious person, but the weight of his want is enough to transcend his own beliefs. Every second with you barely feels like enough; like sand slipping through his fingers.

One thing’s for certain, Sam isn’t going to just let it end here.

“We should hang out like this again,” Sam says, a little hurriedly, captured all in one breath. Shy and tentative, like a bashful child with a school crush. “Uh, I mean, do you? Wanna? Hang out with me?”

You can barely suppress a delighted chuckle from slipping past your lips, your chest warming with fond affection. “I’d be more than happy to. Yoba knows I need a break or two or I’ll actually explode,” you huff while Sam hums in agreement. “We can even invite Abigail and Sebastian… so can demo that new song for me, I see you all working very hard when I visit sometimes.”

He should be happy to hear that; that you’d be more than happy to spend your precious off time with him out of all people. You and him, him and you, Sam and the farmer. Your name connected to his with ‘and’, it makes him giddy, causes his cheeks pinken and pinken. 

Just the two of you, though. Sure, he loves his friends, Abby and Seb have been with him since day one. But it feels out of place—

(Sam, Sebastian, Abigail and the farmer doesn’t have that ring to it…)

“Yeah, I—I dunno, it’s just…”

The unfiltered truth is stupid, at least to him. Vincent is far too young for some of the things Sam longs to say. There’s a reason Abby and Seb hang out under his nose, he won’t blame them, they have their own secrets he isn’t privy to—too serious, too dull for him.

(And now with you, he thinks you might just be the one he can share his own secrets with. Because even he has his own serious, dull thoughts. Thoughts that he doesn’t want brushed away with a snarky remark or a sarcastic laugh.)

“I kinda like that it’s just the two of us?” 

His voice sounds unsteady, squeaky. Trailing off at the end, lost in the sound of water crashing at your feet. Phrasing his statement into a question that you could deny, that you could easily brush off—because if you did, he would too. 

(It would be a bummer if you did though, but Sam is cool with that, chill with any decision you make. Really, he totally is.)

You grin, bumping your shoulder against his, your ice cream is dripping down, down, down your knuckles. Once your skin meets his, you don’t pull away, you press closer and closer to his side. Leaning your head against his sunburnt shoulder—but he barely registers the sting—and your arm against his own. It’s a pleasant weight, having you against him—grounding and tethering him to you.

“I do too. Like it, I mean. I think I get to see so many other sides to you, Sam. Without the others and all that.”

Sam feels his breath hitch, his cheeks flush even pinker even with the sunburns. “Woah, phew, I mean—awesome… When, when do you think we can meet next?”

You tilt your head, running calculations through your mind. You’re very busy on that farm, he knows; but Sam can’t help but keep his hopes up, you’re fun company. Maybe the best he’s had yet.

“I know I won’t have enough time until my melons are ready for harvesting—and don’t you dare try making a joke about that,” you smile, wide and cheeky. Right as Sam readies an innuendo at the tip of his tongue; it makes his blood pump faster and his breathing stutters at the thought of you knowing him so well. 

“So how about this?” you propose slowly. “We spend one day every month doing all the stuff we wanna do, together. just you and me—fun right? I’ll even sleep a little earlier the night before.”

Sam bites into his ice cream—chocolate and your treat, at your insistence—though he isn’t quite sure if the immediate smile on his lips is due to its sweetness, or yours.

He leans closer into you, resting his head on top of yours, strands of your hair tickling his lips. Lowering his voice into a whisper so only you can hear.

(The secret is that you make Sam want. Want, want, want like he’ll never get sick of it. He hoards these stolen moments with you so greedily yet wants more.)

“…two days, two days each month.”

He feels your body shake with the strength of your laughter, warmth swirls all throughout his body, tingling wherever your body brushes against his own. Sam finds that he likes the feeling, the buzz of it—it’s addicting.

“Yeah, alright then,” you reply, mirth dripping from each and every word. “two days. We have a deal. Better?”

“Yeah,” he turns back to face the water, the ocean spray misting his face. “Yeah, a lot better. That does sound fun.”

Anything sounds fun when it involves you.

#key's-vault #sam x you #stardew valley #sdv sam #sam stardew valley #sdv #x reader #sam x reader #sdv writing #sam x farmer #stardew sam #sam stardew #sam sdv #stardew #stardew farmer #sdv sam x farmer #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley fandom #stardew fanfic #stardew fandom #stardew writing #stardew valley writing #writers on tumblr

[lookismaddict]

Lookism: Rendezvous 🔞 (Ch. IX) || Gun Park x Fem! Reader ♡

Author’s Note: I apologize that there wasn’t much happening in the last chapter. That one was kinda a doozy to write ngl. 😭 I decided to mention the YouTube version of PTJ’s universe since that’s what Lookism mentioned before. (Even in Viral Hit too, but that’s irrelevant rn lol) And also, I’m sorry to all the smut lovers! I was trying to build up to this moment because I wanted to balance out the story. I didn’t want it to always be smut all the time or else it’s just going to be repetitive. This chapter though, will definitely lead to the spice that will soon come. I hope you like this one. 🤭💓 (Also, I’m sorry if the format for this chapter is weird. I had to squeeze some stuff in because of space.)

NSFW Warning: Violence, Strong language/Cursing, Sexual Language, and Sexual Content (teasing and sensual touching).

Story Summary: You traveled abroad to help support your mother who is sick, back home in Japan. However, once you reached Korea, everything went downhill until you met a stranger who offered you a deal that could benefit you. But who knew that this special encounter would turn your whole life around…

Driving in silence should be illegal. You thought of how this annoying car couldn’t even compare to how better the Rolls Royce Phantom was, which made you think of a good name for it.

“Kuro Maboroshi.” [黒幻]

Gun gave a slight smirk, now knowing what you’ve been thinking inside that pretty little head of yours.

“Ah, so that’s what you’ve come up with.”

“Well, it isn’t as bad as calling your other car an ‘Obnoxious Goblin’.”

“Hm…”

“So… yes?”

“Fine.”

Turning to the side of the car, you gave yourself a small fist pump for your silent victory, before turning back around to fix your posture.

“Also, I saw that you were busy back there while you made me wait for you.”

Wait, he was there this whole time? Well, here it comes. The interrogation…

“Oh. You saw that?”

“Yeah, I did. I caught you with Eli Jang and the rest of the main members of Hostel.”

Frozen, you sat there in your seat trying to play out the memories that just happened in your head. Now, the name “Eli Jang” is familiar to you. You remembered Gun had mentioned Eli’s name before while he was talking about his successor. Overall, the thought of encountering members of one of the four major crews made you deny the possibilities of ever encountering them in the first place.

“That was them? Nah, there’s no way…”

“Why are you denying it? Have you seen their Hostel tattoos?”

For a minute, you thought about the visible tattoos of the letter “H” that you saw printed on the obvious parts of their bodies. Eventually, Gun took the silence for a “yes” as he continued, “If you obviously saw their Hostel tattoos, then there’s no point in trying to rationalize what just happened. Whatever happened, happened.”

Suspiciously, your squinted eyes turned to look at him. “You’re awfully passive about this. Didn’t you tell me back at that restaurant that there would be a really low chance of encountering them in Seoul?”

“Yes, I did. But I never said anything about how you’ll NEVER encounter them at all. You just so happened to be lucky today.”

Shocked at Gun’s bullshitery, you scoffed while rolling your eyes. “‘Lucky’? You call THAT lucky? They now know who I am! Well, I don’t think I told them my name because I was in a hurry, but they still know my face!”

“And?”

“‘And’? Why are you so calm?! They already met one of the people who will take them down!!!”

Gun let out a low yet entertained chuckle saying, “Just relax. To be honest, I didn’t think you’d meet them so soon. However, there’s no need to worry. They don’t even know that you’re associated with me in the first place so you can stop stressing about it.”

“Yeah, well… what if I encounter the other crews…?”

“Then you’ll just have to become a better liar and prevent yourself from looking like an open book. Your face can be so readable at times, so work on that.”

Due to that low blow from Gun, you instantly reacted by turning your head to face him. The look that you were giving him from his peripheral vision was nothing more but hatred towards him, that he couldn’t help but smirk at your displeased face.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that. I was only just stating the facts.”

“What do you mean? Is my face THAT readable to you?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

His annoying comments never fail to piss you off as you turned your head to the side, sick of actually looking at his smug face that was clearly enjoying your downfall. To change the subject, you asked him, “How long were you there in front of the market waiting for me?”

“Not too long.”

As Gun continued to drive onwards, he quickly reminisced the sight he saw back at that marketplace.

Gun finally came back from the phone shop with your new phone inside the small shopping bag placed near his ash tray in front of the center console of the car. The white Rolls Royce Ghost, or as you like to call it “Shiro Oni”, arrived at the spot where you were supposed to meet Gun. When his right foot stepped on the brake, he turned the rotary shift knob to “P”. Now waiting for your arrival, he searched around the car for you by looking at his side windows then his rearview mirror. Once he took a glimpse at his rearview mirror, he immediately caught a sight of you, sitting on the bench. His hand was about to press the horn on his steering wheel to signal that he was finally there, but what stopped him was the sight of a small human sitting beside you. With caution, he stared at the figure of that small child as he noticed that the young one looked very familiar to him. That bun, bundled up on top of her head, the little yellow dress that she was wearing, and that pretty round face of hers was enough to remember that the child was indeed, Eli Jang’s, the leader of Hostel.

Gun wondered what you were doing with Eli Jang’s child, as he continued to watch over you from afar. He saw you take out a packet of portable on-the-go applesauce from the small plastic bag you had with you, then gave it to the kid for her to eat it herself. While watching you nurse the fragile child in front of you by helping her digest the food with light pats on her back, Gun pondered about how well you take care of children. First Kouji, and now, Yenna Jang? It was astonishing to see that you had a soft and content side when it comes to children. However, whenever you and Gun would interact, it was quite the opposite. The two of you would somehow always end up verbally dissing each other to no end. Just name any topic, and both of you would break out in a war full of petty curses and insults. His eyes then followed you down the sidewalk, as you were now carrying Eli’s daughter in your arms. You were walking over to two other people who Gun did not expect to see, which was Warren Chae the Gate Keeper and Sally Park the Big Mama of Hostel. This whole scene that Gun was viewing for himself was like watching a TV show. An interesting show, that hits him with plot twist after unexpected plot twist. And oh, does it get better! Finally, the main lead that Gun was anticipating for shows up at the scene.

Intrigued by the sight of Eli Jang joining in with the four of you, Gun’s mouth curved to a mischievous smirk while still viewing the rearview mirror from above. He witnessed you finally speaking to Eli in person as he mumbled to himself, “And now, here comes the real fun. I bet she doesn’t even realize who she’s talking to right now, knowing how slow she can be. Talk about a twist of fate…”

It took about thirty minutes for you to finish your conversation with the Hostel crew, making Gun lie back on his leather seat, grieving a tired groan from waiting for you.

“Damn. Can they just wrap it up already, and hurry the fuck up? I’ve got better things to do.” Knowing that he can’t sound the car horn to avoid drawing any attention to himself, he had no choice but to wait there the whole entire time for you to be done. Eventually, his eyes lit up as he saw that you were already saying your goodbyes. While watching you now dispersing from each other and walking down the direction towards his car, his back shot up to fix his own posture on the seat. When you finally made it to your side of the car door, he heard you knock on it a few times then stood there without opening the door, making him shake his head in amusement. “This idiot…”

He had to roll down the window for you to say, “It’s already open.” before you could even enter the car. Once you were inside the car, Gun didn’t waste any time as he started the car to drive down the path of returning back home.

While Gun was replaying the events that just happened in his head, his mind was forced to return back to the present as it was interrupted by the sound of the crumpling of a bag of chips. His head turned to see what you were up to, catching you now munching on the honey butter chips that you bought recently.

“Oi, what the hell are you doing in my car?”

From the corner of your eye, you caught Gun staring at your direction, as you stopped yourself from consuming that one chip that you are still holding in your hand.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? You’re eating chips in MY car.”

“So… what? Do you want one? I can give you one if you’d like.”

You reached the hand that was holding the chip over to where his mouth was as you said while babying him saying, “Here Gun, say ‘Ah!’” Gun’s eyebrows furrowed in an irritated fashion, which resulted in him to smack your hand away from his face with the back of his own hand. With that, you ignored him cursing under his breath while you nibbled away on your sweet potato chips. “And what did I tell you about eating when you’re not hungry.” You shrugged nonchalantly saying, “It’s fine! Just let me do this once. I’ve always wanted to try it because of that one commercial I saw on TV. So, please, just this once.”

Gun’s foul mood faded when he suddenly remembered the phone that he got for you. “If you haven’t seen the bag down there yet, I suggest that you go through it now.”

With a curious look on your face, you looked down to see a small bag sitting next to his ash tray. Your hand picked it up, reaching into it like it was a mystery bag. When you felt the bulkiness of a small elongated box, you grabbed onto it to pull it right out of the bag. My oh my, you couldn’t believe what kind of phone he just got you! Inside the bag was the newest model of the iPhone, in which you felt your hands starting to tremble from how surprised and overwhelmed you felt about holding it in your hands.

This bastard really went overboard with the “gift-giving”. I don’t deserve something like this at all! I mean, come on. An iPhone?! Are you serious?! And it’s even the newest version too! I’m afraid that I might break this thing, knowing how brand new it is and how fragile this is. Ah, geez…

While staring at the box on your lap, you said in a reluctant tone, “Are you secretly a Sugar Daddy? Because, what the actual fuck…”

“Do you want me to be your ‘Sugar Daddy’? I don’t mind, if that’s what you truly want-”

“No. I’m good.”

Right off the bat, you denied his offer, afraid that it would give you a big headache from how complicated your relationship already was with him. Also, you didn’t find the extra baggage to be necessary, since you plan on paying him back for all of this someday, regardless of what he has to say. The contract that you two signed together will eventually become void and at that point, you don’t have to follow his orders anymore. Whether he likes it or not, you will pay him back and you will make him take it no matter what.

Sorry Gun, but that’s just how my ideology works.

For now, you decided to just accept it. Either way, he wouldn’t give you a choice to refuse it in the first place. “As much as I’d like to refuse this ‘gift’ and give this back to you even though I can’t… thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do for my student, who’s always so careless.”

Gun’s words made you shoot a sharp glare at his direction, as his eyes were still concentrating on the road.

“Tch. You’re lucky that the contract is what binds me to your words. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve chucked this thing right out the window.”

“I don’t think that would be a smart idea. You still need it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…”

“I suggest that you look through it and play around with its features, so you can get used to it. I don’t want you to bother me every few seconds, asking ‘What does this do?’ And you don’t have to worry about not being able to use your phone without Wifi. I had someone install a data plan for it so you can use it anywhere you go. There’s even unlimited talk and text for it.”

While rolling your eyes, you retorted back at him saying, “Ha, are you a moron? You’re speaking to a ‘tech nerd’. You even said that yourself, so don’t you ever forget that. Oh, wait… Really? Well, th-thanks, I guess…” From hearing the phone’s cool features, you enthusiastically took out the phone from its box and as you held it in your hands, you turned it on and began to set everything up on your new phone. It took about ten minutes of your time, going through your new phone with ease. Once you opened your “Contacts” there was already a contact saved in the list, which read “Yuzuru” on there.

Confused, you asked yourself, “Who’s Yuzuru?” [結弦]

“Me.”

Right away, your eyes shifted to Gun as your focus was now on him. You raised an eyebrow asking, “You’re Yuzuru? I thought your name is Jong Gun?”

“It’s my Japanese name. I used it because no one else knows about it except for you. Not even the Geniuses know about it. If anyone were to pick up your phone and see whoever is texting you, they won’t suspect that it’s me.”

Wait, he has a Japanese name? So he’s ACTUALLY Japanese? Well, that makes a lot of sense. His Japanese is very fluent, so he must be a native speaker. I wonder what’s his family name. Gosh, and I thought I knew a lot about him by now! I wonder what else he’s hiding. He’s such a mysterious man…

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. But why would you entrust your Japanese name to me?”

“It’s because I know you well by now, to know that you can be stupid sometimes. However, if you’re ‘smart’ enough, then I know for sure that you won’t be spilling my actual name to anyone. Unless, you want to suffer the consequences…”

That last part sent actual chills down your spine. Quickly, you shook your head and responded with, “No sir! I do not want to suffer the consequences.”

“Good.”

Both of you fell silent for the rest of the car ride home, as you managed to send Nurse Aya a text message since you kept her phone number on a piece of paper in your bag. Your text message stated:

“Hi Nurse Aya, this is (Y/N) Sasaki. I’m sorry if you tried to contact me on my old phone. Recently, I got a new phone since my old one broke. I finally managed to send the money to my mother. She’ll receive it in her bank account sometime soon. Once she gets it, then that money will immediately be used for her hospital bills. I already contacted the Doctor about it before I left for Korea, so he’s already familiar with my method of payment. I’ll hope to speak to my mother soon as well, so please let me know when is the perfect time to contact you back. As always, thank you for taking care of her and I hope you have a good day! 😊🙏🏽”

Now time to play the waiting game.

. . .

Eventually, the two of you arrived at the house. You took your leave first from the car as you had to wait for him outside of the front door of the house, since Gun needed to park the car into the garage. When you and Gun finally entered the house, Gun had some business-related work to do in his room regarding HNH Group so he told you not to disturb him, unless there was an emergency. While understanding the circumstances, you nodded as both of you retreated to your rooms. Before entering your room though, Gun made sure to tell you that you can just heat up something in the microwave as usual whenever it’s time for dinner, since he’ll probably eat later. You nodded, as you watched him continue onwards towards his room. When you see him shut his door behind him, you did the same as well.

Once you got inside your room, you crashed down onto your bed, letting out a huge tired exhale. While staring up at the ceiling, your mind started to run wild with a bunch of thoughts in your head.

Ugh, what a day. I’m glad that I got to send mom the money. At least now, I get to pay on time without having to worry about working constantly. That was grueling to even go through that. Now that I think about it, this place isn’t so bad. I haven’t really gotten the chance to appreciate this place until now. I’ve been staying in a nice house. Getting good meals at the right times. I’ve been going to different places where I’ve never even imagined of stepping foot in. All of this feels like a dream. However, I don’t want to think like that or else I might forget the real reason why I’m here. This is mainly because I needed the money. I needed the money to pay for my mom’s bills. I can’t afford to be greedy while I’m here. That isn’t right. Hm… I wonder if Nurse Aya saw my text yet. I better go check.

As you grabbed your new phone from your bag, you quickly checked to see if you were correct, and there it was:

“Hello Ms. (Y/N) Sasaki, it is very nice to hear from you again! And I’m sorry about what happened to your old phone, that must’ve been terrible. Yes, Doctor informed me about your method of payment and it is alright with me. When we receive your payment, we will double check to make sure that it’s all there. In the meantime, we’ll just have to wait for the money to be added into your mother’s bank account. And also, your mom has been sleeping a lot recently trying to recover herself every time she goes through therapy. So, I’ll let you know ASAP when she’s ready to be contacted. Until then, I’ll continue to look after your mother and I’ll continue to wish you good luck in your job over there in Korea! ☺️”

Whew, at least she got the message. I wonder what else I can do with this phone… Oh, right! I can finally contact Kouji and DG! You took out the little slip of paper with their phone numbers as well, as you started off by contacting Kouji. A single text message that was sent to him read:

“Hi Kouji, this is (Y/N)! I finally got a new phone. If you still need anything regarding the game or anything else, let me know! Or if you just wanted to chat, you can send a text message my way and I’ll be happy to reply anytime! 😄”

While waiting for Kouji’s response, you sent DG a message as well:

“Hello DG! This is (Y/N). I got a new phone recently, which is how I’m able to send you this text message. I’ll get to finally listen to your songs, so I look forward to listening to them while using this phone. And as I agreed, I’ll be sending you my thoughts on them too. I hope I’m not bothering you right now, I don’t want to disturb you while you might be working so I’ll talk to you later. Goodbye, and good luck at work! 😁”

Right when you successfully sent your message to DG, you got a notification from Kouji with a message that said:

“Finally!!! What took you so long? And you don’t have to text so formally on here. Tbh you sound like an old lady. 👵 An old lady creep who watches young boys’ computer screens from far away. 😬”

Ugh, this kid. Always saying such rude and annoying things right off the bat. Gun should honestly adopt him. They’d both be like father and son.

“Do you want my help or not? Just one push of the BLOCK button and I won’t be able to help you out. 😌”

A few seconds later, Kouji sent a GIF that shows this:

The GIF caused a laugh out of you as you continued to have this long and entertaining conversation with Kouji all night.

A week has gone by so quickly, as it was already Saturday. Although it was the end of the week, you were still responsible enough to continue to take those birth control pills that Dr. Ahn had prescribed you each day. From the box, the directions read that you just have to take a pill each day but it doesn’t have to be at the same time. However, it is highly recommended that you take it at the same time so that you wouldn’t forget and so you followed the recommendation. You put the pills on top of your bedside table, to remind yourself to take it right before you go to sleep. It was for your safety, in case “anything” happens. You never know. During the week, you were having frequent text messages with Kouji as he sent you articles of new game releases and gameplays of NewTubers who were already reviewing the trending games that were already out. Sometimes, he’d even send weird memes and shitposts to you on the side just to laugh about them. One day in that same week after you and Gun did the usual training session together, you were having lunch with him until suddenly you heard the notification ping from your phone. When you checked to see who the message was from, it was of course, from Kouji. He just sent you a meme of one of the games that you two were talking about from yesterday. He managed to make you laugh at how hilarious you thought it was, as you texted him back about how you felt from the meme he just sent. With the distracting dings from your phone, Gun who was quietly eating, was starting to get annoyed at your frequent text messages as he asked furiously, “(Y/N), can you put the damn phone away for once?! You’ve been at it for a few days now. Who the hell has been texting you so much that you have to immediately respond to them every time they send you a text?”

Feeling guilty from Gun’s outrage, you finally set it down as you looked down at your plate then said, “Sorry… it was just Kouji. He and I have been talking about this new PC game that just released and we became fans of it.”

Gun sighed saying, “Good grief. Over a fucking game? Well, you did mention that you were interested in games before. For some reason, I thought you meant outdoor games or board games. But either way, you guys are so childish.”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“As if I even want to get it. I don’t see the appeal of having to play games on the computer all the time. I would rather just work.”

“Well good for you. At least you have a hobby that you like, so go ahead and stick to that.” Annoyed, you decided to get up and clean your own side of the table before taking your phone with you and storming off to your room without even saying a word to him, leaving Gun to sit at the table alone. Vexed by your attitude, he muttered to himself, “What the hell is her problem nowadays? Ever since I got her that phone, it’s like she’s been addicted to it. Nonstop texting and shit, as if I’m not even here at all. I shouldn’t have gotten her that damn phone. Tch, what a fucking joke.”

After that day, Gun gave you rigorous amount of training throughout that week. The treatment became much harsher as he gave you nonstop, fight after fight after fight. You were forced to get up every time you finished a fight, as he made you duel with him an extra time. Whenever he does this, you would protest because it was already lunch time and your body was already tired, but he would just ignore your refusals. He didn’t care if you were starving at that point. He just wanted to see you suffer, for those days that you had put him through of not being able to look at him properly. Not being able to exchange words with him as often as you used to. It pissed him off every time your attention was somewhere else, and he hated that ridiculous feeling. As his movements during the fights became even more intense, you were surprised that you’ve managed to even LIVE through those exhausting fights. Whenever the training sessions would finally end, you’d always collapse on the ground panting while sweating buckets as Gun would just leave you there without letting you know that he’d be taking his leave. His actions altogether made you question yourself why he’s been acting like that recently.

When Saturday finally came around, Gun decided to teach Aikido on that day since he mentioned to you before, during that week, that he needed someone to help him demonstrate how to properly pull the move. While lecturing this time, he told you to stand up as he guided where your hands needed to be placed and how to properly position your form, with his own hands. As he was doing so, your cheeks couldn’t help but feel flushed from just the small physical contact that he was giving you. “Aikido was created as a form of self defense and it’s all about learning how to disarm someone by using their own attack momentum to your advantage. It’s a Japanese martial art that does not involve much harm, since it mainly focuses on getting the right grip while doing it softly. Although, it does comprise of grappling and joint locking. You need to know how to properly throw someone off balance and how to lock their joints to the point that they’re restricted from using their own hands to attack back. Positioning of one’s hand onto someone’s arm and how fast you can accurately act upon it can disrupt their stance as well. However, you don’t have to defend by just using their arm. It can be in other places where they are vulnerable, like the back of their neck but that’s just another option. Remember that if you do it correctly by controlling your breathing and by physically handling your opponent the right way, then you won’t have any problems by flipping them over with ease.”

During his lesson, all you thought about was how close you were to him and how much he was touching you directly, even if it was mostly your hands and arms. You did manage to listen to him though, which was a shock since you were a blushing mess.

Ughhh when is the demonstration going to happen? I don’t know how much more I can take from this…

Saved by the bell! From the front door of the house, you heard the door bell rang once. Then a few times. Which then turned to an extreme amount of times, as the rings were beginning to sound like sirens going off. In response, Gun’s face turned to a mean scowl, as he let go of your hands and angrily strolled towards the door to get it. When he opened the door, Gun was greeted by the sight of his co-worker, Joon Goo Kim.

“Gun, what took you so long and why aren’t you dressed yet?! Our ride is already waiting for us outside!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What the hell do you ‘know’, huh? I was expecting you to be all dressed, you bastard! You know how Charles would get mad if we don’t show up on time! That old man can be such a fucking pain to deal with. I mean, come on. Who does he really think he is sometimes, the president of South Korea?! […]”

As he walked inside Gun’s house, Gun’s sanity was starting to decline from Goo’s unstoppable rants. In a way, Gun knew that Goo would be coming to pick him up as he thought of this as a perfect time to demonstrate to you on how Aikido is actually done. Gun started to walk towards the backyard, as Goo followed behind him while blabbering away about Charles Choi and the annoying things that Charles would assign them to do most of the time. From outside the backyard, you could hear someone’s voice coming from inside but you knew right away that it wasn’t Gun’s voice, but Goo’s. When both of them reached the backyard, you caught sight of Goo who was dressed formally in a matching fancy dark grey Tom Ford suit and pants combo, while wearing a black tie. He even got fancy dark brown leather dress shoes on, that were polished nicely. You assumed that Goo was here to pick up Gun for the HNH Group party for today, as you watched them. Gun led the way towards you while he let Goo go off on whatever he was ranting about from behind him. When Gun stopped right in front of you, he announced to you as he said, “Watch closely (Y/N). THIS is how you do it properly.” Gun turned around on his side to give you a better view of his stance and how he positions himself, grabbing onto Goo’s arm all of a sudden before grappling him with such speedy gracefulness.

“[…] I don’t know what’s gotten into his head lately? Does he even know how often we tried to do his bidding for him? It’s fucking annoying. I don’t understand why he couldn’t just do it himself since he’s that stro- WOOAAAHHH!!!”

While observing Gun’s demonstration, your eyes widened at how swiftly Gun flipped Goo over with just a flick of his wrist. It happened so quickly that you didn’t even see him exert any effort into that Aikido technique that he just pulled. When Gun took Goo’s wrist into his hand, he pulled it enough for Goo’s center of balance to break. Then, Gun tossed Goo in a swift roll, leaving Goo to fall on his back. At the same time, it was like watching a scene in slow motion, as Goo slowly fell onto the ground with his back impacting the grass first. With a thud, Goo lightly groaned on the ground, still trying to process what just happened. Gun gave a satisfied sneer at the sight of Goo finally shutting up from his annoying tirade. As Gun’s eyes met with yours, he said, “I’ll go and get dressed. We’ll continue this tomorrow, so just remember my words and remember what I showed you today.” With an understanding nod, he let you go, making his way back inside the house to get ready for the party. Now, your focus was on Goo who was still laying on his back on the floor, lifeless.

Is he okay? Should I lend him a hand?

“Um, Goo? Are you alright…? Do you need help?”

Goo didn’t answer as his body continued to stay there, motionlessly. Worried, you began to think if Gun had probably knocked him out or something. The poor guy must’ve accidentally hit his head on the ground, hard enough for him to pass out on the spot.

Oh no… I think Gun went a bit overboard with that flip. What should I do? Should I call him over here? But what if he ACTUALLY killed Goo on accident??? Does that mean Gun will end up in jail?! But if that happens, is he going to make me help him dispose of the body?! What if he makes me drag Goo’s body over to the Han River at night and then dump it?! Is he going to force me to be quiet?!

As you started to hyperventilate, you tried to take deep breaths. Big inhales and exhales was the way to go to prevent yourself from getting consumed by your own panic.

Okay, okay, (Y/N). Just stay calm! I need to make sure that he’s still alive. I need to check his pulse first…

Stealthily, you tip-toed around Goo’s body as you saw that his eyes were closed. Once you stopped right in front of him, you crouched on your knees then reached two fingers over his neck to check his pulse. Right when your hand barely reached his neck, a hand suddenly grabbed your wrist, making you jump and shriek loudly from the unanticipated grab.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

The unexpected touch caused you to lose your balance and fall backwards, landing on your butt with a hard thud. You winced from the pain that you felt on your bum, in which you heard a laugh in front of you. Your eyes followed the voice of whoever was laughing hysterically. When they have stopped at that person’s caricature, you deducted that the person who was responsible for your fall was none other than Goo. He was hugging his stomach while rolling on the floor laughing at your reaction to his prank.

“God, that was so fucking funny! I didn’t think you’d react like that, (Y/N)! But, hey, my bad…” You were too stunned to even reply to him, as you watched him get up on his own, brushing off the grass from his fancy outfit in the process. Out of nowhere, you heard the backyard’s sliding door slam open, as Gun came rushing into the yard already dressed in his brand new midnight black Dior suit. It came as a matching set with the smoothed out pants. Over his suit, was a long black wool Dior coat which went well with his suit. There weren’t any wrinkles on the clothing that he was wearing either, which was appropriate for his formal party attire. The suit that he had on had a breast pocket, in which a small gold chain was hanging on his left side, from within his pocket. With his suit was a wine colored tie, that displays his refined tastes. Underneath his suit, was his usual white collared long sleeved shirt. In each end of his suit sleeve, were gold “LV” cuff links, which exudes a classy aura from him. Around his right wrist was a gold Rolex watch, with real diamonds encrusted around the rim that glistened underneath the sunlight. The fancy shoes that he was wearing were new black leather dress shoes, which were more polished and had pointier tips than his original pair. His hair was styled nicely, complimenting his handsome features that were already attractive as they were. He managed to comb his hair back, creating a slicked back hairstyle by also lathering it with gel to make his hair stay like that throughout the day. Gun looked like a suave movie star, especially with those black shades on. As he rushed into the scene, you caught a strong whiff of the scent of his expensive Dior Sauvage cologne. Everything about him was perfect to the last detail and everything about his appearance made his aura stand out even more, captivating you unintentionally with his powerful physique. However, this wasn’t the time to marvel at him.

“(Y/N)!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Goo waved at Gun as he said in a cheerful way, “Gun! You’re looking pretty snazzy in your suit. I guess we’re ready to go now! Let’s get going befo-” Goo was surprisingly interrupted by Gun’s fist that was drilled into his stomach. Goo staggered a few steps back from Gun’s impact, as he snickered at the sight of Gun glowering at him with a face of clear indignation. “Gun, you didn’t have to be so violent…” Gun kept his fist clenched, as he said in a low wrathful tone, “The hell did you do, Goo? I heard (Y/N) scream, and now she’s on the ground? You better give me a good fucking explanation for the shit you just did, or else I’m going to have to murder you…” Goo coughed up a bit of blood into his hand due to the heavy blow to his stomach, which did not cease that smirk on his face. “My, my, you can be quite the monster. Already throwing hands right before the party? I was hoping to do it afterwards, but you’re giving me no choice here…”

While watching the both of them in front of you, you could feel the palm of your hands sweat. Your heart was already beating rapidly due to the worrisome ordeal that’s about to go down if you don’t stop them somehow.

Crap… what should I do? This is starting to get out of hand! Why did Gun have to punch Goo in the stomach? Alright, that’s it. I need to get up. Come on (Y/N), let’s… go!

Gun was starting to crack his knuckles, preparing himself to beat Goo with every ounce of bloodlust that he had. Goo was just standing there with his hands in his pockets with a smug look shown on his face, like he was inviting him to attack first. While struggling to get up as quickly as possible, you kept your eyes on both of them to make sure that they haven’t begun fighting each other. Finally, you were on your feet. Your legs were a little off-centered, but that’s fine. At least you were ready to stop them from continuing on with their little showdown. Gun stretched his dominant arm outwards from behind him, as he taunted Goo. “Are you ready to get fucked?” Goo gave a snarky chuckle as he replied back to Gun saying, “That sounds very dirty, Gun. Have you no shame at all? Saying such things right in front of (Y/N) like that.” Gun gave a scornful laugh, almost amused by Goo’s endless jokes till the end. “Even when you’re about to get beaten shitless, you’re still joking. You better not regret your actions now…” As Gun pulled out his fist ready to strike Goo, you abruptly appeared right next to him as you grabbed onto Gun’s muscular arm from behind while yelling out, “NOOO!!!” The both of them were taken by surprise, watching you hold onto Gun’s arm as tightly as you could. Gun’s threatening gaze met with your desperate eyes as you tried to tug his arm away from Goo. “(Y/N), let go of me. I need to beat this guy’s ass for a change…” You shook your head in a disobediant way while saying, “Don’t, please! He didn’t do anything wrong! It was just a prank! I just reacted naturally by screaming! It’s not even that serious…” Gun’s face softened as he slowly brought his arm down. He turned around to face you, asking directly, “Is that true?” Without hesitation, you nodded your head right away. Gun looked at you with a stern expression, checking to see if you were telling the truth. You seemed to be alright with it, so he decided to let the situation go. On the other hand, Goo was a bit surprised to see Gun pacified just by your words. This only fueled his mischievous side even more, seeing that you had Gun somewhat under your spell. It’s just that you didn’t even realize it.

Without hesitation, Gun started walking back inside the house saying, “We don’t want to be late to the party, so let’s go.” Goo’s face transitioned to an agitated expression before chasing after Gun while shouting, “Hey, wait for me! I was the one who said to go in the first place!!!” When the two of them made it inside, you exerted a great big sigh of relief from managing to stop them from fighting.

Whew, what a relief. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t jump in there to stop them. They could have seriously injured each other or WORSE… they could have beaten each other to death.

Picturing them inflicting pain and immense violence onto each other made you tremble at the spot. You weren’t going to let that thought concern you any further, as you realized that you needed to see them off. Speedily, you entered the house before closing the sliding door behind you. Eventually, you caught up to them at the front of the door about to head out. Goo was still butt-hurt that he hasn’t received an apology from Gun for overreacting to what happened at the backyard. “Gun, I deserve a proper apology. You just punched me without even talking it out! Like come on man, that’s not what bros do!” Gun was at the verge of strangling Goo by the neck but he was keeping his cool together, just because he’s aware that you’re still there with them. While ignoring Goo, he made his way towards you then stopped right in front of you. His eyes looked down into yours saying in his usual informative tone, “I’ll be leaving now. I won’t be there for too long. Only a few hours. While I’m out, remember my rules. The food for today’s lunch is in the fridge so just get it and and heat it up. And if there’s an emergency, call or text me if you need anything.” You gave an affirmative nod, letting him know that you got every last bit of his instruction. “Oh, and one more thing…” He leaned in closer to you then whispered, “There’s something in your room that’s worth checking.” After whispering those words to you, he turned around instantly leaving you in such a confused state.

What did he mean by that?

From behind, you followed Gun and Goo out the door like a mother seeing her own children out. While watching them walk out the door, you waved at them with a bright smile, giving your upbeat goodbyes. “Bye! I hope you guys, um… have fun!” Gun turned his head around to give you one last glance as he jeered, muttering to himself, “Who does she think we are, five?” Goo gave you a wave back as he yelled out loud, “Bye (Y/N), I hope your butt is okay!” From hearing Goo’s goodbye, Gun shot Goo a nasty glare as he asked in a threatening way, “What the hell did you mean by that?” Goo snickered at Gun’s dangerous tone, as he told him, “Now you’re just thinking wrong. I didn’t do anything to her butt, so you don’t have to worry about it. And if you keep scowling like that, you’ll get wrinkles at such a young age, Gun. You’re already blessed with an attractive face, so don’t ruin it along with your body.” That’s it. Gun decided to ignore Goo for the whole entire time that they’re together since he cannot stand him without having a huge urge to hit him. As the two of them got in the car, you still stood there, waving them goodbye. When the car finally left the driveway and was out of sight, you then closed the door behind you.

Now that they’re gone, I might as well see what he was talking about.

Your feet headed straight for the stairs since you decided to go to your room to see what Gun was referring to. Right when you made it to your room, your eyes couldn’t believe what you were seeing on your bed.

Wha- … What the hell is all this for?!

On your bed were loads of shopping bags that belonged to expensive clothing brands. On the biggest bag, was a sticky note that caught your attention. You removed it from the front of the bag as you read it to yourself:

“Get ready, and dress up in these. It’s not definite that I might be back sooner than I expect, so anticipate my return to be in the next five hours. I even got you makeup and other beauty products, so be grateful and use it wisely. Don’t make yourself look like a clown. I’ll pick you up right when I come back.”

While reading his note, your heart started to beat heavily through your chest, conflicted on what to even think or say about all of this.

What the hell? Why did he give all of these to me? There’s way too much stuff! Like, how can I even accept all of these?! I don’t even know how to use makeup, and he expects me NOT to look like a clown?! Ha, please! I’m starting to think that this man is trying to get all of my money. But wait a minute. So all of those bags he was carrying last week… were they mostly for me? How the hell will I even pay him back now, if he keeps gifting me stuff?! UGH, HE’S SUCH A PAIN!!!

You crumpled the note in your hand, squeezing it out of frustration. A tactical grin formed on your lips, laughing at the challenge that he had just dumped on you. “Fine. If you want to be like that, then you better expect that I’ll be paying you back fully, Jong Gun Park.” Eventually, you’ve rummaged through every bag that you had. Among the bags, you found a long silk black bustier evening dress with a backless hole that goes all the way down to your waist from behind while the back of your dress was only held together by one small strap centered on the back, like a bralette. The dress was held up and connected from the back of your neck by a long black fabric that was meant to be draped down, along both sides of your shoulders from the front. The front of the dress displays how strapless it was, with its top half designed to have horizontal silk folds sewn together. On your left breast was a small gold Chanel symbol pinned on there, which shows off its luxuriousness. However, the bottom half displayed to be tight, as the purpose for its style was to show off your curves until it smoothed out to a finishing drapery, flowing loosely at the bottom near your feet. Altogether, it was a beautiful vintage dress, which was a rare dress of its kind. The dress was bought from Chanel, coming from the tag that you saw on it. Behind the tag, you took a peek at what the price of the dress was and… Oh Lord. That’s a lot of zeros. Frozen from shock, you shook your head to snap yourself out of the discouraging thoughts that could lower your self esteem of ever paying him back. Overall, you thought the dress was WAY too revealing, and it made you uncomfortable to even wear such a thing in public. In a way, this made you question what Gun was really thinking, buying you a dress like this. However, knowing him, he’ll still make you wear it since he was the one who paid for it in the first place. You moved onto different accessories from the bags as you took out a box from a second bag.

Oh my god. Don’t tell me…

And indeed, it was. When you saw a shoe box that displayed in bold letters, “SAINT LAURENT”, you opened it to see a pair of leather black and gold colored stilettos. Each shoe had a gold heel that was about four inches tall. The heels were intricately designed with it’s signature “YSL” symbol at the bottom, marking its brand. And above each shoe, were two thin leather straps. One that wrapped around a leg right above your ankle, and the other strap located at the base of your feet, right behind the start of your toes. While observing one shoe in your hand, you looked at it dumbstruck due to the first impression of what these heels gave you. You still couldn’t believe that you were holding such expensive shoes, that could possibly be worth your whole apartment rent back home in Japan. Once you decided to put them to the side, you went through the rest of the things that Gun had given. While checking the rest of the bags, you found a black leather Chanel handbag with a gold chain as its strap and its gold symbol displayed on its front. With the bag inside of it, was a pair of gold Chanel earrings that had the Chanel symbol dangling from small gold chains and a gold necklace that had a pendant of the actual word of “Chanel” hanging from a thin stringed chain. Another shopping bag had loads of makeup products that came from popular brands, including brushes, makeup palettes, liquid eye makeup, and spray bottles of liquids for whatever purpose.

God, he got me the WHOLE SET. What even is this? “Primer”? “Foundation”? The only thing I know from here is lipstick. What the hell do each of these even do for my face? And- oh god…

You reached deeper into the bag full of makeup until you felt a long thin box. Once your hand grabbed onto it, you pulled it out of the bag to reveal a flat iron, for styling hair.

Wow… just, wow. You REALLY outdid yourself this time, Gun Park. Geez, I still can’t believe this. What is his motive for buying me these things? And what did I do to deserve all of this? He’s being awfully nice all of a sudden. I can’t figure this man out.

You had no choice, but to get yourself ready for whatever plans he had for you later. Over the span of those five hours, you decided to bring everything that Gun had bought for you, as you locked yourself in your bathroom to fix yourself up. After taking a shower, you decided to do your makeup. You didn’t know where to even start, so you decided to go on NewTube to search for a makeup tutorial fit for the event of the evening. With all the makeup products that you had and your flat iron, you tried your best to follow whatever the makeup artist was doing on your phone screen. With a dab of foundation, blending of colors and sparkling palettes on your face, and the application of fake eyelashes with other eye makeup, you managed to somehow pull it off. The only thing that was delaying your makeup application was the eyelash curler, which scared you a bit. That contraption hurt at first since you accidentally shut it on your eyelid, making you flinch. It hurt a bit, but that wasn’t going to stop you from finishing what you just started. Once your look was almost finished, you took a short break by exhaling deeply from how tiring that was. It wasn’t as perfect as the makeup artist who did it in that makeup tutorial, but it was decent enough to pass. The way you did your makeup was a natural look, with shades of light coral and pink. With the finishing touches of those fake natural lashes, mascara, wine colored lipstick, blush, and highlighter, you finally sprayed your face with a liquid bottle that said “Setting Spray”. And with that, your face was transformed into a You that you could barely even recognize.

Wow, so this is what Jugyeong Lim felt when she did her makeup in True Beauty. It really does change your appearance into a different person, despite how heavy my face feels right now from how caked it is. Aw man, what time is it? I forgot to check the time!

When you checked the time on your phone, it was barely a minute till three in the afternoon. Luckily, your hair was already dry and you still had time to fix it up.

Alright! Makeup, done. Now hair…

You had to search for another tutorial on how to use the flat iron. You didn’t want to curl your hair, so you decided to just stick to the basics and use it for straightening your hair. From the tutorial that you watched, you had to plug it into the electric wall socket and leave your flat iron there for about ten minutes for it to heat. During that time, you decided to walk out of the bathroom real quick to get a few hair ties, your brush, and your comb. When you’ve returned, it was time to begin with the straightening. You followed the tutorial by spraying your hair with a heat protectant, which will help prevent heat damage to your hair. Next, by taking a piece of your hair from the rest, you tied a bunch of parts of your hair into small sections to easily separate each part for styling. This technique really did work, as it helps you know which part had already been ironed. Starting from the bottom sections, you clamped the heating iron down a piece of your hair close to your scalp, as you slowly glided it down to the tip of your hair which resulted in a silky yet smooth part of hair. You continued to do this for about forty-five minutes, until you’ve gotten every piece done. Once you’ve finished ironing your hair, you got a serum bottle of Argan Hair Oil, taking a bit of it into your hand and applying it from the tips of your hair while working your way up towards your scalp. The purpose for this, as stated by the NewTuber in the tutorial, was another serum that protects your hair while also making it look shiny and smooth. After putting on the oil, you combed your hair by parting your hair through the middle, then smoothed it out to finalize your entire look. With your makeup and hair done, you’re finally ready to dress into the clothing that Gun got for you. You managed to put on the jewelry, the shoes, and the bag on, but it was just the dress that you had trouble with. You couldn’t really pull on it yourself since you had shorter arms than you thought you would, which made you groan in frustration from the struggles of putting on this dress.

Dammit! I can’t reach it! Ah geez, I need to hurry up! Quickly, before he-

A notification dinged from your phone, as it said that you got a text message from “Yuzuru”. When you checked to see what it said, it read:

“I’m on my way home and will be there in 5 min. Be ready when I get there.”

No, no, no, no, no, no!!! I’m not ready yet! Urgh- curse this stupid dress! Why do I have to wear this thing in the first place?! This dress should have a zipper on the side instead, or something easier to pull on!

You sent him a thumbs up emoji, while you start to panic in the bathroom. Many thoughts were going off in your head, as you asked yourself if you should just go out with the strap detached or just say that you couldn’t go by pretending to be sick. You couldn’t even put anything over your dress since you didn’t have any sweaters or coats that would go with your outfit. This was an important decision to make and you’re running out of time.

All of a sudden, while still struggling to put on your dress properly, you heard the loud beep from the front door opening outside as Gun called you from downstairs. “(Y/N), I’m back! Let’s go!” When you heard his voice, you left the bathroom and opened the bedroom door as you shouted, “Just one moment!” before continuing to attempt to connect the strap once more. Gun waited for you downstairs for five additional minutes, until he decided to head upstairs to see what’s been taking you so long. When he made it in front of your door, he gave it a few knocks as he yelled from behind it. “(Y/N)! What the hell is taking you so long to get ready?! You better open the door, or else I’m coming in the-” He didn’t expect you to open the door so suddenly, as you only gave it a slight crack open. He could only see a part of your face from behind the door when you whispered to him, “P-please, give me a few more minutes. I’ll be done by then.” When you were about to close the door on his face, Gun grabbed onto the door knob to stop you from closing the door on him as he said in a sinister tone, “Move.” Scared from his demanding tone, you backed away from the door, allowing him to enter the room.

The gaze of Jong Gun Park made you feel weak as he stared down at you with such a serious expression. His eyes scanned your entire body. Starting from your head, down to your dress, and eventually to your shoes. Every inch and every detail that he took of you was interpreted as absolutely perfect. He still couldn’t believe how gorgeous you were in his eyes. Such elegance, with a hint of sexiness. You’re a woman so breath-taking, that he had to control himself from pinning you onto the bed behind you for him to do such irresistible things to you. Gun still finds it rare to see you dressed in rich clothing such as this, and to see your face and hair done just because of him. However, regardless if you did your makeup or dressed up more properly today, you were still beautiful to him even if you didn’t try to improve your appearance. He thought that now wasn’t the appropriate time to think about such thoughts, which made him focus back on what the issue was at hand. “You look fine to me, so what’s the problem?” You averted your eyes from him, looking off to the side with a light flush of scarlet beginning to display itself onto your cheeks, making them even more rosier than usual. “I-it’s… the strap.” Gun was puzzled at first, asking, “What strap?” You started to fiddle with your fingertips nervously, saying in a soft whisper, “The strap… on my back… c-can you… help… me?” It took a second for Gun to figure out what you were talking about until he snickered before commanding you to “Turn around.” for him. Obediently, you did as you were told, as you slowly yet bashfully, turned around for him to face yourself towards the direction of your bed. Gun swept your hair gently off to the side of your left shoulder. His eyes started to trail down your exposed back, as he stared at your clear skin. The last time he laid eyes on your back was that one time when he did you on the couch. It was tempting to reminisce those memories, while he fumbled with your back strap from behind. While he was trying to attach one side of the strap to the other, you couldn’t help but blush madly at what was currently going on.

Is this real? Am I dreaming? Geez, this is so embarrassing! I can’t believe that I had to ask him for help just for him to do this. Ugh, when did it suddenly get hot all of a sudden? And what is even happening right now???

At that moment, it was like your vision was seeing swirls. You could feel your body starting to heat up from how close Gun was to you. Was it his body heat affecting you? You couldn’t tell. You could even feel your heartbeat booming deep inside your chest. That deep “lub dub” tune was all you heard through your ears, from how tense you felt. Once you felt his hands finally release the strap on your back, you assumed that he was done attaching the strap onto your dress. You turned your head around to thank him with gratitude saying, “Thanks Gun, I don’t know what I’d do without-” However, when you turned your head around, you stopped midway as his face was already in front of you, due to him leaning in close to you from behind. With a concerned demeanor on your face, you asked, “Gun? Is there something wrong?” All of a sudden, you felt Gun’s hand graze down your exposed back softly, earning a soft gasp from you. The touch from his hand was like a feather running lightly onto your skin, making you tingle. His hand continued to slide down your spine, as it made its way down to your hip, and then onto your ass. You felt his other hand hold onto your other hip, as he started to rub your ass with his busy hand in such a sensual way. The friction of the cloth rubbing against your ass from the movement of his hand was enough to cause you to emit a few moans from your mouth, in which you immediately had to cover your mouth to hide them. While he was doing this to you, you glanced at his eyes, and you could have sworn that his eyes were now filled with pure lust. With a breathy whisper, he said into your ear, “You’re a real temptress, (Y/N). Tempting me like this, knowing that you’re too irresistible to do this to. You’re really wearing this dress that I picked out for you, just for me, right? I know that you could’ve refused this in the first place, yet you decided to wear this in front of me. How bold of you…”

From Gun’s sultry talk, you already know that the evening that’s ahead of you, will just have to wait. There’s no chance that the grasp that he had on you would soon release, now making you regret ever asking him for help.

Oh god, what have I done?

[End of Ch. IX]

#lookism #lookism fanfic #lookism x reader #lookism x y/n #lookismaddict #lookism webtoon #gun park #park jonggun #lookism gun #park jonggun lookism #gun park lookism #gun park x reader #jonggun x reader #lookism jonggun #goo kim

[tomatoart]

mwah your art is good and nice :>

can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.

do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?

thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>

thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah

i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^

tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.

Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great 

Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:

i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things

Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences

Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago

i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.

Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:

but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner

sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:

finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light  

its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:

beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.

tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!

flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!

using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)

Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.

Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL” 

clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too

I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!

#asks #faq #I hope ur week is going good n that u’ll have fun creating 💙🐠 #long post #not tomaart