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warmaidensrevenge · 8 months

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Love and pinball

Pairings: Eddie x Fem!plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Hello my loves. This is the next part in my little series. For those of you who are new, feel free to click the above link to catch up on this fic. Just a warning before the warnings. This ends sadly. So be prepared. Also, I am looking for some help for the 8th and final part of this series. If anyone is interested, please message me. Also, I had a couple of songs that inspired me. They are posted below. As always feedback is greatly appreciated and comments/reblogs are always welcomed. They are what keeps us creators going. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Respect all creators. Also, all pictures used are from a Google search. A credit to the original posters.

Word count: 3,977

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Language, angst, sexual implications, death and not proof read.

Part 7: Making the right choice.

Summary: Eddie makes the best decision of his life. But his happiness is short lived.

" It's been a long time, son."

Eddie tensed up a little. " Yeah…how are you?"

His dad chuckled behind the prison glass. " Well I guess I'm doing alright. As well as I can be."

Eddie pressed his lips together. " Right. Sorry."

" So you gonna pussy foot around or you gonna tell your old man why you're here?"

Eddie laughed a little. His dad always did cut to the chase.

"Okay, so normally I go to Wayne when I have a problem. But he's on his way to Nebraska for work and couldn't get a hold of him. I-I need help. Like now."

" Who did you knock up?"

Eddie stood quiet and hung his head. " I got one girl pregnant for sure."

" One?"

He sighed and rubbed his face. " My sorta ex is having a baby too. But it might not be mine."

" What the hell boy?! I know it feels good not wearing a jimmy. But two girls! And what the hell do you mean sorta ex?"

Eddie went on to explain the entire situation. Start to finish. And his dad just sat there shaking his head.

"I really need your help dad. I think I know what I have to do. But I don't want to make the wrong choice here. And regardless of where you are. I still need my dad." Eddie looked back. " I get that things didn't work out with you and mom. But I remember how much you loved her. And how much she loved you…you would do anything for her. So I need you to help me…I love this girl. And I want to marry her one day. I just don't know what to do if my ex has my kid."

Allen looked up at his son and saw the doubt and insecurity there. "Alright. Here it is. Get a DNA test done. And if it's yours make sure you get joint custody. If it's not then go be a good dad to the other. But don't jump from one relationship to the other. Son, you've been in a relationship for your entire adult life. Do you even remember who you used to be? Because I'm looking at you and I don't see my son."

Eddie furrowed his brow. " Well I have grown up since I last saw you."

" I know that. But the Eddie I remember used to be so happy and full of energy. You had plans to play at The Garden…what happened to that guy? Don't tell me all the guitar lessons I paid for are going to waste."

" I just play now for shits and giggles."

" See that's what I'm talking about. I remember a time where that's all you would ever talk about. You said you weren't going to quit."

" I didn't quit, okay! I wasn't good enough."

Allen scoffed. " Bullshit."

" Dad, seriously?"

" Look boy, all I'm sayin' is give yourself some time to figure out who you are without a girl. Figure out who you want to be. Because you only have a few months to get it right. And if I were you…well I would choose the one you can't stop thinkin' about. Your best friend. And if you end up with two kids. Then son you gotta work things out with both. I can't tell you how to do it. But I can tell you no matter what, be a better old man than your old man. Make your kids proud. And be with a woman who loves and respects you as a man."

" So you're saying that I shouldn't be with either one of them?"

" I'm sayin' find the man inside you. All the shit you were doing before was kid shit. Grow up."

…

Eddie left his dad more confused than ever. So he went home.

It was three days later and his first stop was to the apartment.

He took a deep calming and encouraging breath before walking in. The second he did he was instantly annoyed. Jason was there cuddled up with Chrissy on the couch, watching a movie.

They both looked back and genuinely looked surprised to see him.

" Ed? You're back."

He stared at Jason and wanted to throw him out. But then he thought that it didn't matter anymore. Obviously, Chrissy didn't give two shits about his feelings.

" Chrissy, can I speak to you in private?"

She looked at Jason and what looked like her asking permission to do so. Eddie rolled his eyes.

" Yeah. I umm I'll go and get that foot spa for you." Jason said before giving her a kiss on the head and taking off.

Eddie then walked around the couch and sat down. " I guess Jason took care of you while I was gone."

She hung her head in shame.

" Look I'm not here to hurt you or stress you out. If you're happy, then I'm happy for you. But I came back to tell you I'm still gonna move out. And that as soon as you're able to do it. I'll pay for a paternity test."

She nodded and wiped her tears away.

" Whatever the outcome is, you and I are done… You have done something that I can't really believe. Still, I love you. And I respect that you might be the mother of my kid. So the only time I want to hear from you is if it has something to do with the baby… I'll be at Gareth's."

She shuddered a breath. " Th-that's fair."

He shook his head a little and got up to grab his stuff.

Before he left he stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder at her.

" Oh. By the way, Y/n's pregnant too."

Chrissy covered her mouth in shock.

" We're gonna be a family Chrissy. And if the test comes back that it's mine…just get used to the idea that she's gonna be his or her mom too."

" His." She accidentally said.

Eddie felt a jolt of joy when he heard that. And if under any other circumstances, he would call everyone and celebrate that he was having a boy. Instead, he gave her a weak smile and left.

…

When he pulled up to your place, he never felt so bad. These past few days were not what he was expecting. He was given advice that wasn't what he hoped for. But what he needed to hear. That's why he was here. He was going to tell you that though he was deeply in love with you. That he needed to step up and figure out what to do.

When he got off the van he was met with a worried you.The second you opened the door and saw him, you threw your arm around his neck and squeezed.

" Do you have any idea how worried I've been!?"

It took everything he had to not burst into tears.

" Don't you dare disappear like that again! Don't you dare put me through that again. I thought-" You pulled away to wipe your tears. " I put in a missing persons report for you. I-I didn't even have a picture…Robin printed off one from your old yearbook."

" I'm so sorry sweetheart."

Eddie couldn't believe that you did that. Not even the girl he had loved for five years gave a crap that he was gone. And here you were, scared that something had happened to him.

You pulled him back and hugged him so tight that he could feel the anguish coming off of you.

" Where did you go? I thought you might come back after you talked to Chrissy."

He put a hand behind your head and rested his cheek on your forehead. " I wanted to…I needed to talk to someone."

You leaned back and looked at him. " And you couldn't talk to me? Or at the very least call and tell me you were okay?"

He went quiet and looked away.

When he didn't say anything after a few seconds you took a couple steps back.

" Just say it."

His eyes returned to you. " Say what?"

You crossed your arms and sighed. " That the possibility of having two babies is too much."

He licked his lips and shook his head. " That's not-"

" If you want to bail on me. F-fine. I'll be alright. I can do this by myself. But don't bolt on Chrissy if you're the father of her's."

" I'm not gonna leave you high and dry. I'm not that guy Y/n. And if the baby's mine. I'm going to do what I'm supposed to-"

You cut him off. " But?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat. Everything his dad said seemed so wrong now that he was standing in front of the one person who got him. His best friend.

Eddie took a step towards you. You expected him to say that he was going to do right by you and Chrissy. But he didn't want to be with either of you now. However, that wasn't what he said.

" Chris and I are over… But you and I. Baby we will never be over. I love you. I'm in love with you. And I'm gonna be here for you whether you want me to or not." He stepped close enough to cup either side or your face. " I wanted a family and you're giving it to me…I-I just need to ask you one thing."

You held onto his forearms and nodded.

" I know it's a lot to ask, but are you willing to still be with me and accept that I might have a son in three months?"

Your eyes went wide and a small smile found your lips. " Son?"

He softly laughed. " Yeah."

Tears of joy filled both of your eyes. After a second you wrapped your arms around his waist. Burying your face in his chest. Saying a soft yes.

" Hmm?"

" Yes and I still want you." You leaned back and looked up to him. " But what're we gonna do now?"

He started rubbing your shoulders and let out a sigh of relief. " Well, right now I'm gonna go drop my stuff off at Gareth's. Then I'm gonna come back and take you to a late lunch. Afterwards, I'm gonna see about getting a different job. I can't support you and our baby on a mechanics paycheck."

" No. You like that job bud. I'm not gonna let you give that up. And I'm a big girl. I can help too."

He chuckled. " I know you can. But I want you and our baby to not want for anything…I have a little saved up. So we can use that for the nursery. And as soon as I get a good paying job, we could…if you want, we could… maybe get married."

" Eww!"

Eddie furrowed his brow.

" Seriously curls? I'm not gonna have a shotgun wedding."

He hung his head and shook it. " Right. Not another cliche."

You grabbed his chin and made him look at you. " After what you put me through the last 3 days, you're lucky I didn't kick you in the shins. But yes. I honestly don't think we should even be thinking about that right now. What we should be doing is getting you settled on the pull out."

He tilted his head. Silently asking what?

" I don't know how I'm going to feel in a couple months. And I would feel a lot better if you were closer."

"On the pull out though?"

" Yes in the pull out." You backed away from him. " You're not getting off that easily, mister. Now get your stuff and come inside."

Eddie watched as you went inside. What he planned for the conversation was not what happened. But he honestly couldn't be happier. He finally got the girl he was meant to be with and he was going to have a family of his own.

…

2 & ½ months later

Eddie had noticed you been down lately and wanted to make you smile. So he took you to the place it all started for him.

" Man it feels like I haven't been here for ages." You said as you and him walked through The Palace. " You know, I wonder?"

Eddie grinned at you. "Wonder what sweetheart?"

You looked towards a certain area. "Follow me."

He was right behind you and stopped just a couple of steps when you went to the game that started it all.

" When I first moved here, I had this ongoing battle with this little kid. Every Sunday night, I would come and see that this loser beat my score with exactly 1,000 points." You sighed then smiled at the pinball machine.

Eddie came and put a hand on your lower back. " Yeah? Did he do it again?"

You looked at the score and shook your head. " Looks like the little dweeb hasn't been here in a while either."

He smiled and went to reach for the note you left months prior. You watched in confusion as he smirked at the note and put in the quarter you left. He then proceeded to play until he beat your high score. With guess it, exactly 1,000 points.

He then put a quarter in the coin slot and grinned.

You crossed your arms and furrowed your brow. " You?"

He laughed a little and nodded.

" This whole time?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. " You're not pissed are you?"

You ran your tongue over your teeth then clicked it. Laughing a little after. " Kinda."

Eddie frowned. But then you wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a peck on the lips.

" I'm totally gonna kick your ass at that later. But right now. I want you to take me home."

He smirked while leading you back to the van.

You guys didn't make it home though. You had him make love to you in the back of the van.

He had just came deep inside your pussy and went limp on you.

" Aaaannnddd I'm pregnant."

He chuckled and shook his head.

A few minutes passed when you cleared your throat.

" Eddie?"

He looked up and started stroking your hair. " Yeah baby?"

You looked back and forth between his eyes. " I'm really happy you picked me."

Before he gave you a loving kiss he whispered. " I will always pick you."

…

The following morning you found yourself on the couch with Eddie.

" Shit! Did you feel that sweetheart?"

You smiled at Eddie who had his head on your belly. " I did bud. The baby's kinda in-"

You were cut off by a sharp pain in your lower back.

"Ooofffff!"

Eddie's head shot up. "What is it? What's wrong?"

You let out a shaky breath. "I think our chicken nugget head butted my kidney."

He gasped and turned to your tummy. " Hey booger. You need to be nice to your mommy."

You shook your head and smiled. " You know, ever since we decided on waiting until the peanut is born to find out the gender. I love how we come up with neutral nicknames."

He grinned and put his head back on your stomach. " Well I for one love the one you said the other day. What was it?"

You pressed your lips together and sighed.

" Oh! That's right. Daddy's little squirt."

" Oh my god! That was you!"

He smirked and kissed your belly. "Yeah. I like that one."

You shook your head and laughed.

Eddie looked up at you again and looked like he had a lot on his mind.

You moved his bangs away from his eyes. " What is it curls?"

"Nothing. I'm just really excited to meet the munchkin."

You nodded. " Me too."

He kissed your tummy again and crawled up your body. Landing a kiss. The second it turned into more the front door opened.

" Oh! Ummm sorry." Paul shielded Natalie's eyes.

Eddie got up quickly and went to grab Natalie's bag.

"Hey guys. You're early." You said, sitting up right on the couch.

Paul gave you an I'm sorry look. " I uhh I got called into work early."

You held out your arms for Natalie after she gave Eddie a hug.

" Hi baby."

" Tee!" She squealed while hugging your neck. " Tee? When's my baby coming?"

You smiled at her and held your little tummy. " not for a while baby."

She pouted, making you tear up. " I'm sorry."

Eddie felt his heart fill with warmth seeing you and Natalie. At that moment he wished for a girl.

After Paul left Eddie and Natalie watched cartoons while you started making lunch.

The phone trilled.

You went over and answered it. A few seconds later you looked at Eddie.

" Yeah we'll be right there."

…

You were holding Eddie's hand watching Natalie play with the hospital's toys. Waiting patiently as Chrissy gave birth down the hall.

Eddie was quiet. You could feel his anxiousness.

" Bud?"

He looked at you.

" Whatever happens…we'll figure this out. Together."

He squeezed your hand and nodded.

13 hours later

Chrissy's mom came out and motioned for Eddie to go with her.

He squeezed your hand once more before following her.

One look at the baby and he knew. He was his. His heart sank. But at the same time he was relieved to know the truth.

He gave Chrissy a kiss on the head and went to hold his baby boy. Tears fell from his eyes. A mixture of happiness and sadness filled him.

A little while later he returned to the waiting room to find you talking to Jason.

You knew immediately from his face that Eddie now a son. It hurt. It hurt a hell of a lot. But you faked a smile and hugged him.

" He's- he's beautiful."

You nodded and smiled.

Jason got up and went to see Chrissy while you and Eddie sat back down.

He sighed. " I don't know what to say."

" There's nothing to say Eddie. Just be happy."

" I…I really thought he wasn't going to be mine."

" But he is. And now you need to be here…I'm gonna take Natalie home. It's her nap time."

Eddie didn't want you to leave. But you gave him a hug and he handed you the keys to the van.

"I love you."

You kissed his cheek and nodded. " I'll see you at home."

His heart broke watching you walk away from him. He hated that more than anything. Even though he wanted to go with you, he had to be with his baby.

…

Two weeks later Eddie had spent more time with Chrissy than he did with you. It was selfish but you wanted him to be at home. With you.

When he did come home he came to eat and sleep. Then he was gone before you woke up.

You felt so alone. Sure you had Paul and Robin. Even Steve and Gareth came around a lot once they found out that you and Eddie were together. But all you wanted was Eddie.

One weekend he finally came home with baby Liam.

You nearly cried seeing his big brown eyes.

" God curls. He's…so perfect."

Eddie grinned. "Wanna hold him?"

You looked at him with caution in your eyes.

"It's okay sweetheart. Chrissy doesn't mind."

You sat down and he placed baby Liam in your arms.

You fell in love instantly. " Hi monkey."

Liam cooed and smiled.

" Look at you." You sniffled.

Eddie sat closer to you and started rubbing your arms. " You okay?"

" Yeah. It's just the hormones." You wiped away your tears and looked at him. " I miss you."

He frowned a little. " I know. I miss you too. That's why I brought him today. I wanted to ask if he could stay with us sometimes. I hate not being here for you. And I don't want to be away from him."

" Is Chrissy okay with that?"

He pressed his lips together. " She doesn't really care."

" What's that supposed to mean?"

Eddie looked at Liam and frowned. " The only time she really spends with him is when he needs to be fed."

You turned to look at the beautiful little human in your arms. " Eddie, that's not okay…maybe she had postpartum."

" That's what I thought. But I don't know. It's like she doesn't want him."

That right there broke your heart. How could anyone not want this perfect little angel?

" Baby, I don't know if that's okay. I think she might need some help."

" She's with Jason. "

You were instantly pissed. " What?!"

He shook his head. " She said she needed some time. So she went to stay with Jason today."

" You're joking.'

He shook his head.

" What about his feeding schedule?"

" I-I have a couple of frozen bags of milk-"

" That's not gonna last him at all."

You looked at Eddie again and he looked like he was gonna cry. He also looked so tired. You immediately knew that you had to do something.

" Okay. This is what we're gonna do. First, I need you to leave me the bags of milk and go back to the apartment and get some extra clothes and blankets. Then go to the store and get a couple of cans of formula. Make sure it says for newborns. Then get diapers and fragrance free baby wipes."

" O-okay."

You cupped his face. " Together, remember?"

" Y-yeah. Anything else?"

You looked back at little Liam. " Whatever else we'll get it. Just be careful and come back. Don't freak out on me and take off again."

" I'm not leaving him." He kissed your temple. " Or you."

When he came back you were sitting in the nursing room. Rocking Liam back and forth.

You quickly put your finger to your lips.

Eddie then watched as you put Liam in the cradle he bought for your guy's baby. You then grabbed a baby monitor and walked with him to the living room.

" Baby's sleep a lot. So you should sleep when he sleeps." You whispered.

Eddie wrapped his arms around you and silently cried. "I-I don't know what I would've done without you."

You hugged him back. " Well good thing you have me huh?"

He chuckled lightly. " I love you."

"Promise?"

He looked at you and smiled softly. " Pinky."

…

Two months had gone by and Chrissy got over the initial shock of having a baby. You were seven months pregnant now.

It was awkward at first but then it became weirdly normal.

Eddie brought Liam home with him four nights a week and sometimes on the other days Chrissy would come over too.

Overall you guys became this unusual little family. Then the worst possible thing happened.

You had gone to Paul's house to babysit Natalie.

Ever since he found out that Eddie had a baby with Chrissy, he and Eddie have been on the outs. Paul didn't want Natalie around Eddie anymore, so you respected his decision and started watching her at his place.

You had gone upstairs to get her ready for the day, when all of a sudden you slipped on one of her toys and fell down the stairs.

You were unconscious for a few minutes until you heard Natalie crying.

Eddie was at Chrissy's when he got the call from your brother. He immediately went to the hospital. Paul was sitting outside the room when he ran up.

Paul looked up and Eddie knew. He knew that something terrible happened.

Paul tried to stop him from going in the room but Eddie pushed him away.

He froze when he saw you. Your arm was in a cast and you had bruises all over. The beeping from the monitor sounded so ominous.

He looked over the room and didn't see a bassinet.

That's when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

" She didn't make it. I'm…I'm so sorry."

Eddie's heart fell.

Paul's words echoed in his ears.

She?

…

@marsmunson86 @browneyes528 @erinsingalong @salenorona23 @emsgoodthinkin @eddie-is-a-god @manda-panda-monium

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obsidianarchives · 5 years

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Ashley Romans

Ashley Romans started her formal acting training at Pace University School of Performing Arts. She moved to Los Angeles immediately after graduating in 2015. Los Angeles theater credits include: Celebration's Charm (Beta), Rotterdam (StageRaw and LADCC award recipients). Film/Television credits include: "I'm Dying Up Here" and "Shameless" (Showtime), "Are You Sleeping?" (Apple TV), "Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis" (Sunshine Moxie), "NOS4A2" (AMC new series).

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

I’m an actor. I create by acting. Collaborating with writers, directors, designers, and visionaries in whichever medium possible to hopefully create an honest reflection of a being’s life experience.

BGC: How do I create?

I suppose my entire creative process begins with healthy self trickery. Not quite deception but more healthy, playful, self manipulation. Naturally as creators we have a way of resisting and fearing whatever it is we most want to bring about into the world. Similar to a mother’s fear of giving birth or raising a child, we think “what if the world doesn’t receive my creation well? What if people are mean? What if it’s not healthy or ready?” I often find myself trying to bribe or trick my way out of this fear. I trick myself into going into my next audition as confidently as I can, or preparing for that day on set when I really don’t want to, or finding some connection with a character trait I find reprehensible.

I also think it is very important to stay relaxed and loose so one can reach a playful and spiritual place of creativity. So I try and keep myself healthy; mentally, spiritually, and physically by reading, eating healthy, journaling, praying, meditating, and exercising.

BGC: How did you get into acting?

I would say my professional pursuit officially began when I went to study theater at Pace University in New York City for my undergraduate degree, but for as long as I can remember I always had an interest in acting. I loved watching ‘90s action/drama movies with my father and “I Love Lucy” reruns with my mother as a child at all hours of the day. I became even more interested in theater and performance through high school choir, joining community summer camps, and doing the spring high school musical.

Even as an adolescent I felt it was best to keep my professional aspirations to myself in fear of naysayers. In retrospect, I understand now that high school is a time a lot of young people are dealing with self doubt and insecurity. Considering that I was far from the funniest, smartest, or most talented individual in the theater department, I, unconsciously, kept my performing ambitions quiet even from the people closest to me because I didn’t want to risk someone rubbing their self doubt on me. I worked up the courage to audition for a couple of acting schools but I told no one except my acting teacher Douglas Hooper and a few very close mates.

I still abide by this privacy philosophy even now and it hasn’t steered me wrong to this day. I still feel that speaking one’s dreams and aspirations among chaotic or unsupportive energy environment would most likely dissipate or poison their own source.

Eventually after graduating from Pace University through a couple months of tumbling I landed representation for acting with a management company and I moved out to Los Angeles. I’ve been able to land some great acting opportunities and gain a supportive team of people and I could not be more grateful.

BGC: What has been your favorite role so far?

I have so many favorites. The roles that stand out to me as my favorite are the ones that have most challenged me and allowed me to explore a different aspect of life, and explore and connect to the full range of the human experience. I’ve received some of my most valuable acting lessons in various roles in the theater. I played Inez, a red dressed-vixen-leading lady with a passionate, deep-seeded hatred for her ex-husband in Stephen Adly Guirgis’ Our Lady of 121st. Two years ago I played Beta, a young teenage gang affiliated boy in Chicago with a secret in Phillip Dawkins’s play Charm at Celebration Theater. This coming March I will be part of the Kirk Douglas’s production Rotterdam by Jon Brittain. Set in the Netherlands, I will play Fiona/Adrian, one half of a modern London couple who decides to make a huge change in their life. My experience acting in these productions specifically has been positively nurturing. Throughout our rehearsal process, I learned what it means to be not just a more nuanced and skilled actor but also a more supportive and capable teammate in the creative process.

In terms of film/television world, my work as Hermione Granger in Sunshine Moxie’s Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis remains my greatest acting lesson in the film/television/on-camera discipline. Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pierce, other writers and producers leveled up my game up. I’ve never before been number one on the call sheet and I’m not sure if I ever will again, but having that responsibility was so enlightening. It was also an invaluable learning experience getting to work with those amazing creators and seeing those women just get shit done. It was truly an honor being chosen to play such an important and monumental literary character in this version. I remember reading the Harry Potter series as a little girl in London and thinking how much I wanted to be part of and live in that magical world. Playing Hermione in the HGQLC series was by far the best artistic adventure I’ve ever had. Exploring moments, scenes and how far we can bring characters all felt like adventures. Even our trip to Dublin, Ireland this past year felt like one big adventure. I’ll be forever grateful for that experience.

BGC: Why do you create?

I enjoy acting because I love being seen and getting to disappear. It’s a paradox but it’s my truth. I enjoy exploring the range of human experience. I love that I get to feel connected to people in the safe incubator that is pretend. I love that I get to feel and say all the things I’m afraid to feel and say in my real life. I still never get bored of going to the theater, movie or stage, sitting in a dark room with other people and watching performers simply tell us a story. I hope to serve God and the people around me through my creativity and acting. I always hope to truthfully represent a human experience no matter how high or low the stakes it might seem to us at first. Losing your phone and frantically trying to find it can be as exciting and dramatic a story as losing one’s job or finding out your spouse is unfaithful. It’s all in the storytelling and truthfulness of the moment and I love as an actor I get to explore that.

BGC: Who do you hope to reach through your work?

Honestly, the most important people I aim to ultimately reach and impress are my nieces and nephews. Yes the public, my agents, and producers are all important but I feel as though they are a means to an end. Right now my oldest niece is 10 years old and she loves the Hermione series and is always pretty excited to see me act on TV. At the moment she still thinks I’m pretty cool and I hope to keep it that way.

If this was a decade ago and you asked 16-year-old Ashley the same question I probably would have said something like “I want to be a voice for the voiceless and the underrepresented… blah blah blah.” Truthfully, I don’t think I ever really knew what that meant. I mean, I knew what it meant on a superficial-runner-up-in-Beauty-Pageant kind of level but now that answer doesn’t resonate with me as the gutter truth. Whenever I’m working on scripts, deciding on content to create or post etc, I ask myself “Is this something I would be proud to let my niece see? Is this the kind of work that can help make the world even the tiniest bit better for her?” Eventually, she’s going to grow up and have a voice in this world and I hope that her seeing me embrace mine will give her the courage to embrace hers. My nieces and nephews and all the children like them are who I hope to reach.

I really love seeing how the world is changing now. Representation in the media was so limited even 10 years ago but now it’s getting more and more beautiful by the day. With so many platforms, works such as Pose, Glow, Fresh Off the Boat, Chewing Gum, Masters of None, Eighth Grade, and more, so many beings who have been underrepresented for years are getting a chance to reach their audiences and tell their stories. And we all get to identify and see ourselves in each other. I don’t have to reach out and save the world because it kind of starts with myself and our own backyard.

BGC: Who or what inspires you to keep creating?

Oh geez, that’s a loaded question. My peers are my first and foremost inspiration and motivation. Again Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pearce, Jessica Jenks. It’s remarkable to watch those ladies do what they do. I love being in acting class and witnessing breakthroughs or being in a really great rehearsal with a cast mate. That’s always promising when you get to be part of the creation of something honest and true. Even if it is just a great moment in a scene. Actors who inspire me are endless. Octavia Spencer is a fantastic actress and creator who I adore. I had the blessing of working with her once and she’s an even better human. Lovely doesn’t do her justice. I love watching Regina King. There’s a great example of an honest to God creator and storyteller. She’s accomplished so much in acting, directing, writing, and producing. That’s also how I feel about Shonda Rhimes, Boots Riley, Jim Carrey, Maggie Gyllenhaal. There are many more. I’m sure as soon as you publish this interview I’m going to think of more.

BGC: Why is it important as a Black person to create?

As Black people, we have such a specific and loaded way we walk through the world. The Hermione Series has such a beautiful tag line. It says “HGQLC - Write Your Own Ending.” I’ve always loved that because it gives power to the subject. As Black people it is our responsibility to take control of our story the best way we can. We must feed our communities the best and most honest images of ourselves to ourselves because images and representation matters. In the area of cinema, for years non-Black people have told their version of the Black experience and it has left us misrepresented.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

It’s always a struggle to keep a balanced life. I have a tendency to obsess and quickly lose perspective but when I want to regain balance I plan my day to make sure I get everything I need in. Luckily for me in my particular art form, acting is about living so I know I can’t be a good actor if I’m not allowing myself to experience life and fun.

BGC: Have you been able to build a support system around yourself? What does that look like?

I feel so grateful for my support system. I have amazing representation, an amazing day job with super awesome and motivating coworkers who are actively pursuing their life goals. I also have super supportive family and friends who tell me they’re proud of me just for being myself. My sister is also a great support system, someone I can speak and think out loud with no fear of judgment. I could not be any luckier.

BGC: Any advice for young creators/ones just starting?

It takes 10,000 hours to be a professional at anything. So just put in the hours, however that may look. Either do it, read about it, watch a YouTube video on it, whatever you have to do to learn about your craft and get better.

BGC: Any future projects?

I’m going to be doing a remounting of the stage production Rotterdam at the historic Kirk Douglas Theater in Culver City. It’s a short run, performances run from March 28 - April 7th, but it’s such a blessing to revisit this work with such a remarkable group of people. It’s a super funny and insightful play about gender and love.

In the television world I just finished wrapping a new AMC series starring Zachary Quinto and Ashleigh Cummings called NOS4A2. I don’t know the exact date it is to be released but it’s happening soon. The series is based of the hit novel by Joe Hill and it centers around a teenager (Cummings) who uses supernatural abilities to track down the seemingly immortal Charlie Manx (Quinto), who steals children and deposits them in “Christmasland.” I play a Detective Tabitha Hutter trying to suss out the truth. This series has supernatural fantasy, horror, action/adventure, procedural, and family drama. Everything you want to see.

#actress #Harry Potter #theater #actor #New York City #London #Los Angeles #Black Woman Creator #create

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