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letterboxd · 3 years

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Bridging the Gap.

Filmmaker So Yun Um highlights ten underrated Asian American and Pacific Islander films set against the backdrop of America.

Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month has many film lovers seeking to celebrate Asian American cinema. Beyond Minari, Always Be My Maybe and Crazy Rich Asians, there are dozens of films that depict the Asian American experience. In choosing to focus on ten of the lesser-seen, I contemplated the notion of what defines AAPI cinema.

For me, it goes deeper than films that have been directed by, or star, Asian American and Pacific artists. Having watched a wide selection of Asian American films, I can firmly say our cinema, no matter the genre, puts Asian Americans at the forefront on both sides of the camera. I believe the essence of Asian American cinema was born out of resourcefulness, mining themes and ideas that distinctly bridge the gap between Asian and American culture. These films tell stories that explore the vast differences between the two, and the ways in which they coexist, whether comfortably or uncomfortably.

In selecting these ten underrated AAPI films, I searched deep to find stories with uncompromising vision and character; stories about Asians that could only be told within, and against the backdrop of, America. These ten films highlight intimate, distinct and unfiltered experiences mostly unseen at our local multiplexes: family and cultural obligations, generational and cultural gaps, and raw, mostly obscured views of American life.

Chan is Missing (1982) Directed by Wayne Wang, written by Isaac Cronin and Wayne Wang

There would be no Asian American independent cinema without Wayne Wang’s Chan is Missing. Shot on black-and-white film, this striking noir follows Jo, a San Franciscan cab driver, and his nephew, Steve, as they track down the titular Chan after he disappears with their money. Wang’s unpredictable directing career spans neighborhood intrigues, rom-coms and family movies; alongside which, he has kept a strong focus on Asian American stories (he helmed the adaptation of Amy Tan’s generational bestseller, The Joy Luck Club).

In Chan is Missing, for the first time on screen, we get to finally see an “ABC” (American-Born Chinese) story from the source, with an all-access pass to the often misunderstood terrain and people of Chinatown. It’s the tightness of the plot and the authenticity of its characters that make this movie such a classic. Even after 40 years, Chan Is Missing doesn’t feel dated—its laugh-out-loud dialogue (they actually utter the word “FOB”!) and moody tone capture why Chinatown continues to be an enigma. Spoilers: Chinatown runs by its own rules.

Available on DVD via Indiepix Films.

Better Luck Tomorrow (2002) Directed by Justin Lin, written by Ernesto Foronda, Justin Lin and Fabian Marquez

Justin Lin’s directorial debut film is a visionary portrait of Asian Americans that’s still relevant two decades on. Since its release in the early aughts, there has yet to be a film that explores the nuances and complexities of the average Southern-California Asian American teen like this film does. Better Luck Tomorrow focuses on a group of Asian American overachievers who become bored with their lives and enter a world of petty crime. It’s loosely based on four Sunny Hills High School students and the real-life murder of Stuart Tay, a teenager from the OC.

With its depiction of overachieving A+ students who are also foul-mouthed, drug-taking kids, this film was the launching pad for many iconic Asian American actors today—Sung Kang from the Fast and Furious franchise, John Cho (Star Trek) and my personal favorite, Jason Tobin, star of the Warrior TV series. (It’s entertaining to see the seeds of the Fast and Furious series planted in this film in the character of Han, played by Sung Kang, before the explosion of the franchise: one of the characters mutters, “Rumors about us came and went fast and furious”—and the rest is history.)

Better Luck Tomorrow still stands as the most iconic film to capture the suburban Asian American teen existence in all its good, bad and ugly light. “I was part of a movement,” Tobin recalled in this GQ oral history of the film, “and it was a culmination of all the battles I had fought before that to get Asian faces on the big screen.”

Available to stream and rent on multiple platforms.

The Grace Lee Project (2005) Directed by Grace Lee

If you’re an Asian American who grew up in California or New York, chances are, you know at least two Grace Lees in your life. But growing up in Missouri, Korean American filmmaker Grace Lee was the only one she knew with her name. She soon discovers that with the name comes a certain stereotype, that of the “good” Asian—quiet, well-behaved and a hard worker. Lee goes on a quest to interview a wide range of women who have the same name and soon discover if this wildly common stereotype is true.

Lee’s witty, autobiographical documentary is effortlessly funny and insightful. The Grace Lee Project dives deep into identity politics to reveal that sometimes, a name is simply a name. This was the start of Grace Lee’s journey as a filmmaker and she continues to be an important voice in not just the documentary space but in narrative stories as well.

Streaming on Kanopy.

Saving Face (2004) Written and directed by Alice Wu

Alice Wu’s Saving Face is a timeless queer love story. Produced by none other than Will Smith (yes, that Will Smith), Saving Face follows a Chinese American lesbian woman and her traditional mother (played by Michelle Krusiec and Joan Chen, respectively) as both battle with their reluctance to go against cultural expectations and reveal their secret loves. It’s part family drama, part rom-com, exploring expectations specific to Asian women across generations.

While most Asian American films focus on familial obligations through the point of view of the children of immigrants, Wu’s film considers the conflicts of both daughter and mother. For Asian Americans, it’s a tale as old as time but with a twist that shows that no matter how old you get, you still have to, unfortunately, fight to be who you are. I also highly recommend Wu’s spiritual sequel, The Half of It, on Netflix.

Streaming on Amazon Prime and Tubi, and for rent on various VOD platforms.

In Between Days (‘방황의 날들’, 2007) Directed by So Yong Kim, written by Bradley Rust Gray and So Yong Kim

So Yong Kim’s debut feature, In Between Days, follows Jiseon Kim, a Korean teen immigrant, who falls in love with her best friend while navigating the challenges of living in a new country. Director Kim is a masterful storyteller and captures life as it should be seen: unfiltered and trivial at times, but using the mundane to find cinematic magic.

I like to categorize So Yong Kim’s work as a showcase of extreme intimacy. Her story features painfully delicate characters and moments so real, you’ll wonder how any of these scenes could be fiction. There’s a sense of vulnerability and loneliness that fills the air as Jiseon struggles to assimilate to a new country, replete with toxic relationships, self-sabotage and unrelenting jealousy. So Yong Kim’s work is so painfully real, it hurts to watch.

Available on Kanopy and Amazon.

Ping Pong Playa (2007) Directed by Jessica Yu, written by Jimmy Tsai and Jessica Yu

There are two things that embody countless Asian American men’s experience: their love for basketball, and their love of rap music. Ping Pong Playa covers both, and is exactly the kind of Asian American comedy I’ve been waiting for! Christopher “C-Dub” Wang (played by co-writer Jimmy Tsai) is a wannabe baller and a supreme slacker who has to step up to the plate when his family’s business and ping-pong-champion reputation is on the line. In addition to being centered around an Asian family, the core of the film rivals any other low-brow, underdog sport film.

Laugh-out-loud hilarious, this is Academy-Award-winning filmmaker Jessica Yu’s first narrative feature, following a groundbreaking career full of daring documentaries (her Oscar was for this portrait of writer Mark O’Brien, who spent much of his life in an iron lung). Seeing C-Dub as an NBA-loving slacker turned ping-pong playa felt validating; it showed that even if you’re a lazy and immature Asian, you can always find something to succeed at.

Streaming on Tubi, and for rent on Amazon and iTunes.

In Football We Trust (2015) Directed by Tony Vainuku and Erika Cohn

While Salt Lake City, Utah, is seen as predominantly a white Mormon town, it in fact has the largest population of Pacific Islanders in the US mainland, due to the strength of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ proselytizing in the Pacific. The documentary In Football We Trust follows four Polynesian high-school students, as they chase their lifelong dream of attaining professional recruitment. Told in moments of adolescence, the film follows the greatest challenges for these four young men, as they chase their dreams while trying to grow up.

In no time, they’re faced with the harsh reality that just maybe, football isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. As much as their hefty attributes and builds serve as their greatest advantages, these boys’ cultural and familial obligations become both their greatest motivations and, possibly, their downfall. Filmed over the span of four years, first time filmmakers Tony Vainuku and Erika Cohn chronicle the NFL hopefuls as they navigate the pressure to balance dreams and family to win a golden ticket out of gang violence and poverty.

Streaming on Kanopy, and for rent on various VOD platforms.

Spa Night (2016) Written and directed by Andrew Ahn

In his directorial debut, Andrew Ahn perfectly captures a specific corner of Los Angeles’ Koreatown. Spa Night’s focus is David, a closeted Korean American teenager who takes a job at a Korean spa to help his struggling family, and then discovers an underground world of gay sex. You may recognize Joe Seo as the goofy bully in the Netflix hit show Cobra Kai, but it’s Spa Night where you can see him truly shine—he won Sundance’s US Dramatic Special Jury Award for Breakthrough Performance.

Seo delivers a powerfully restrained performance, exploring the burden of hiding your true self from your family. Spa Night is more than a coming out story, it’s also about the broken American dream that so many immigrants experience. Ahn’s direction is finely tuned, honing in on the specificity of Koreatown. It is an acutely queer story of second-gen Asian Americans, where coming out is never really about just you, but also your family.

Streaming on Kanopy, and for rent on various VOD platforms.

Punching at the Sun (2006) Directed by Tanuj Chopra, written by Tanuj Chopra and Hart Eddy

Mameet is young, angry and has always lived in the shadow of his basketball-legend brother, Sanjay. When Sanjay is suddenly killed during a robbery at the family store, Mameet spirals and takes his anger out on anyone and everyone. Coping with loss at a young age is hard enough, but Punching at the Sun mixes in the specific anxieties of being a South-Asian man amidst the backdrop of post-9/11 America. In doing so, the film addresses the difficulty of juggling teenage angst and immigrant identity—Mameet is not afforded the option to express his anger and grief.

Cathartic and emotionally validating, this is a simple yet nuanced slice-of-life story that conveys the heaviness of growing up with the weight of the world on our shoulders. In Mameet’s case, thank goodness, he ultimately shares some of that burden with his comical friends and knit-tight family.

Available to rent on Vimeo.

Meet the Patels (2014) Directed by Ravi Patel and Geeta Patel, written by Ravi Patel, Matthew Hamachek, Billy McMillin, and Geeta Patel

In the romantic documentary Meet the Patels, Ravi Patel is a dutiful first-gen son whose parents are continually nagging him to marry a nice Indian girl. With Ravi's sister Geeta Patel co-directing and co-writing, and his parents in the frame, his film (and true-life story) are indeed a family affair. What starts as his journey to find a wife to make his family happy becomes an enlightening intro to Indian culture and modern love—think dating apps, weddings and a Patel Matrimonial Convention (gotta see it to believe).

Humorous as it is outrageously charming, Meet the Patels ultimately shows the struggles and cultural expectations most immigrant offspring face, on top of the million other obstacles of trying to find your one and only true love in this mad, mad world.

Streaming on various platforms.

Related content

Ten Underrated Asian American & Pacific Islander Films, a Letterboxd list

Best Asian American Films: So Yun Um’s list

Debbie Chang’s comprehensive Asian American film canon list (also features Asian-Canadian, Asian-British and other diaspora)

Bellamy’s list of feature-length films directed by Asian Americans

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saintambrose · 4 years

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haha it’s US politics hours

listen, this tumblr has always been a fandom place since its inception and I’ve not really designated it as a space for political discussion because 1) I have several other avenues for that arena of discussion and 2) escapism was the theme here; but I’ve finally watched The Comey Rule and I have some THOUGHTS

and I’m not really sure how active anyone is here anymore anyway, because I’ve not really been around as regularly as I was before the nsfw-ban shitstorm, so. Diving right in.

Probably my favorite thing was how it painted the American right wing as this faux-centrist bastion of impartiality at first, the whole circus with HiLLaRy’S EmAiLs being about how they legitimately believed they could play the angle that the emails were a threat to national security all while they knew damn well it was a huge big nothingburger (with a side of hatred of women) while doing that thing that right wingers have done since the Reagan administration where they malign anything left of fascism as communism (including basic human rights) and then, predictably, you have all these very furrowed-browed old white men sitting around a conference table being VERY CONCERNED that precisely the thing they wanted to happen came true and they are completely unprepared to do damage control on the mess they engineered because WHITE MEN ARE INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING THE CONCEPT OF CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR OWN ACTIONS. 🤣😂🤣😂

In all seriousness. I wasn’t crazy about Hillary either. I don’t like dynasties of any kind, royal or political. I don’t like establishment dems who are really just center-right in the real world while masquerading as left in backwards-ass bizarro-world USA. But I’m an old motherfucker now, I’m well into my 30s, I’m boring and watch CSPAN for leisure and shit. I read the reports coming out of the DOJ. One of my degrees is in political science, though admittedly, that’s the least thing that matters, in the scope of everything else these days. But it’s safe to say Hillary was unfairly maligned while republicans committing atrocities exponentially worse have been treated with kid gloves for decades. A very distinct double standard has been applied here for....longer than I’ve been alive, that even the most educated people on the left have refused to acknowledge for far too long. I watched that entire BeNgHaZi hearing (which is easily accessible on youtube, so there’s literally no excuse not to know the facts on this), and everyone knew -- everyone knew it was a bullshit smear campaign.

So, this post isn’t so much a review of the miniseries more than it’s an indictment of the corruption of American politics. The most damning aspect being that, on principle, US politics has always had a problem with embracing progressive policy, and basic civil rights in general. That’s not news; people have known this for some time. But the thing that this miniseries really illustrated in a very cartoonish, yet succinct, way is that there are experienced professionals who hold the highest, most powerful seats of authority in this country who won’t bat an eye at dedicating their entire careers to denigrating common decency, basic human rights, and even constitutional law, while being absolutely incapable of conceiving the long-term consequences of these actions, who will then turn around and concern troll over the ashes of the empire they enthusiastically helped to burn down. It’s nauseating. It’s infuriating. It shows a pathological disregard for personal responsibility.

Everyone was so preoccupied with their massive turgid erection for hating the Clintons (and women) that no one saw they were enthusiastically living in a henhouse built by fucking foxes. No one saw the genuine threat.

And, by extension, no one had the balls to acknowledge that age-old instinct of white men willing to engage in a scorched earth campaign simply to satisfy their worst impulses and entitlement complexes.

Can you fit “Who cares if we’re screwing over several generations with corrupt court-packing and a flagrant disregard for checks-and-balances predicated entirely on the honor system; we just don’t feel like doing domestic labor or respecting women and minorities so we’ll continue expediting reprehensible policies that exploit the most vulnerable people in this country because we can’t compete in an authentic meritocracy" onto a campaign slogan banner?

I sounded the alarms on this trend 20 years ago, meanwhile. My parents and I had just gotten US citizenship, luckily months before 9/11 and the patriot act; and as an outsider looking in, as someone who had risked their life escaping a dangerous regime at an incredibly young age, I saw the warning signs in the republican party even back then. Naturally, I was denigrated as an alarmist and a butthurt liberal.

You know, I’ll acknowledge that as a white person, I’m not the average American’s image of what an “immigrant” looks like. My experiences here over the past couple of decades have thrown into sharp relief how “immigrant” is just a dogwhistle for racist bullshit, because people who concern troll about us don’t seem to have many problems with us white ones. But I came out of a communist country. I’m straight outta the eastern bloc. And I don’t think there are any words in any spoken language that can do justice to how insulting it is when americans try to americasplain communism to me. Bitch. Y’all don’t fucking know. You just don’t.

The point is, even back then, I could see the slippery slope republicans were tumbling down, and I can't say I derive any pleasure from being vindicated in such an extreme fashion. Like. I told y’all motherfuckers. TWO DECADES AGO.

People who aren’t familiar with US politics, and even long-term US citizens who for some reason feel like it’s a waste to pay attention to your own shit, seem to spend a lot of time trying to unpack what precisely went wrong. My observations came up with 1) the manipulative aspect of US history in public schools glossing over, and even omitting, the most gruesome aspects of the revolutionary war, the holocaust, and the cold war (and oftentimes, the cold war is NEVER EVEN COVERED, which is especially insulting to me, for obvious reasons); 2) the manipulative aspect of US history in public schools teaching kids that the Declaration of independence and the Constitution are unassailable doctrines of freedom and liberty, and, as such, after independence was won, no further activism to maintain democracy was needed so we can all just smoke a bowl and be complacent because all those authoritarian third world regimes we constantly ridicule and criticize can NeVeR HaPPeN hErE 😒; and 3) how limpdick both-sidesism replaced civil, comprehensive political discussion because the right spent so long abusing, denigrating, and bullying the left that it was just easier to play it safe and take the milquetoast ~centrist~ stance, which always, always, always capitulates to the lowest common denominator, which is always the oppressor.

And generally just this age-old trend of holding the victims of systematic oppression to a higher moral and behavioral standard than the perpetrators of systematic oppression.

Guys, I’m tired. I’m so tired.

I’ve gotten a few questions over the years about why my writing is so angsty, why it always seems to follow the same themes; war crimes, PTSD, gore, torture.

I already escaped one authoritarian regime. The USA promised us one thing, and then once we got here, it started emulating the very tyrants we worked so hard to get away from. A lot of people have no idea what that feels like. How much of a betrayal that is. Especially considering all the financial and legal landmines one has to navigate just to do it, and then we’re punished for that, too.

I write about PTSD because I fucking have it. I write about war crimes because I’ve experienced them firsthand - just as a victim and not the perpetrator. I so often write about soldiers committing them because I want to roleplay what it’s like to not be a victim for once.

tbh writing a fucking Hamilton fanfiction is one of the most cathartic things I’ve ever done, but the extensive research I’ve had to do to be able to write this thing has been low-key traumatic. There’s a lot of historical material I’ve consumed that should have been covered at the most basic level of compulsory education, but conspicuously isn’t. And I know that’s a feature, not a bug. It’s by design.

Democracy - and independence, freedom, liberty, justice, civil rights in general - isn’t just some final xbox achievement that you unlock and then just shelve the game and forget about it for the rest of your life. You have to keep grinding to maintain it, because there will always be selfish, malicious people out there who will dedicate their entire lives playing a long con to ensure you don’t get the same opportunities as them. For the love of god, stop playing the both-sidesism game. From someone coming out of the eastern bloc, I can tell you with great confidence that that was part of the propaganda campaign you were fed to keep you from engaging so they could install a dictatorship under your nose. Do some self-guided historical research, guys. It can be very illuminating.

Anyway. I’ve gone on long enough here, but damn, don’t screw this up again, guys. Today is the first day of early voting in Texas, and I’m going to do my duty. When I first came to this country, after experiencing the rigorous vetting process and labyrinthine legal requirements of US citizenship, I was led to believe that in exchange for that privilege, I was personally responsible for my own civic self-education. It’s so much more important than you've been led to believe.

#uspol #long post #also uhhhh brendan gleeson really needs to win an award #i hope he's ok mentally after playing that role yikes yikes yikes #also 'why do your characters so often have alcohol abuse problems' uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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revol-lover · 4 years

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so last year a lady contacted me on facebook saying she was my cousin, and turns out, she was. she’s my cousin on my mom’s paternal side. I guess theres a whole bunch of us who descended from 4 brothers and this lady has been working for years to make like a huge family tree of us all! it’s fascinating and goes so far back. I even got to see a photo my great great grandfather!

who apparently was said to have clear blue eyes. It’s so interesting to learn these details. so she added me to the group and now my name, my husband and Julia and our photos are added to this massive family tree and they were supposed to be having a family reunion TODAY with everyone from the facebook group who could make it there (Azores).

Both my parents were born there, both immigrated to the United States. My mom came with her parents as a kid when she was 11. My dad came, as an adult, to marry his pen-pal aka my mom, when he was 25. It sounds romantic but it really wasn’t. My dad’s aunt and uncle lived in the US already and they knew my mom’s parents so it was kind of a blind-date/arrangement thing. So anyway though, as a result of that I’m a 1st-Gen American.

Because of covid the family reunion had to be cancelled. i wasn’t able to go anyway because it’s expensive to fly out there. we do have a place we could’ve stayed, my dad’s parents still own a home there that all of the family uses when they visit (it aint nothing fancy though. it’s got these giant cock roaches that are common in island climates but freaked my new-england-raised-ass OUT when I visited once as a kid lmao) so if it weren’t for a) money b) my passport needs to be updated and julia doesnt have one c) people drive craaaazy there and i would need my dad to come with us to help me not only get to the town but to drive and while he would 100% do that at the drop of a hat, it would’ve been quite the coordination. but mostly a) and b) is what held me back.

so i’m bummed i couldn’t go. and i probably wont be able to go next year when i think they’re rescheduling it to. but maybe someday i’ll be able to. and that really excites me because i love learning about my ancestry and i’ve always felt very connected to my roots because as a 1st generation american i was raised with more portuguese culture than american just by default.

my parents brought me to the islands when i was 13 and it was one of the best experiences of my life. i havent been able to go back since but i really want to some day. especially to show Julia where we come from. but kevin’s family on his dad’s side are also from Azores so I’d love for him to experience it too.

i can’t tell you how many times in my life i’ve thought about how slim the chance was of me being born in the usa was. like literally. it could have easily not happened. my grandparents were struggling and got the opportunity to come here on plane tickets that were bought with borrowed money. things were really bad in the islands when they left. but if for some reason that didn’t work out i’d probably have been born there. that boggles my mind.

anyway this is my mom’s town where the reunion would’ve taken place. this town is right on the coast.

and this is my dad’s town, where we’d stay if/when we visit someday, this town is inland.

i try not to romanticize it because i know that my grandparent’s left because of poverty but damn when the country they immigrated to is bursting at the seams and has donald trump for a president it’s hard not to sometimes wish things could’ve worked out differently. but then i would have a completely different life and it wasn’t meant to be that way but i digress.

i could write a whole book about what its like to grow up as a first generation american. you’re always a little more “american” and understanding of american culture than your parents but you’re also less “american” and understanding/exposed to american culture than your friends whose parents aren’t immigrants. the best friends i’ve ever had were ones whose parents were also immigrants, not even necessarily Portuguese ones. just cause there’s this mutual understanding of how you grew up differently and how can live in one country but feel way more connected to the culture of another if that makes sense.

#personal

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orenonahaichigoda · 4 years

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I had a rough day, and came to a realisation. I will say a bit about my own experience, and then, after having to lay the groundwork of explaining 400 things about Japan because American schools and media think the whole world is the US, Western Europe, and places to blow up, making explaining necessary, will tie it to Ichigo, or at least how I portray him.

I'm Post Dankai Juniors, growing up in Japan. So's Kubo, actually. The boundaries of this Japanese generation are roughly '75 to '85, Yutori, the following generation that's always translated and localised as Millennial, pretty solidly set as beginning at '86. These things are always fuzzy because you can't vivisect living brains and find the part that likes char siu buns and the part that likes jazz fusion. I *majored* in Social Science. You'll have teachers who say "it is absolute that we date people who are similar to us because we're all actually narcists." (It *might* be because they're like our beloved family or community. Narcistic Personality is not universal) But it really just is fuzzy, and that teacher/book author is an idiot. Anyway, Yutori is always translated as Millennial. I don't know the end boundary. Post Dankai Juniors covers almost totally a debated throe for Germanic nations (I know Britain, Germany, and Nederland use the same generations as America, and their languages are Germanic) because of how fuzzy it all is, though.

Anyway, so since coming to the US, my interactions with other Asians, again, how is this defined when China, Mongolia, Japan all border Russia and West Asia includes Jordan and Saudi Arabia, South Asia is India's area, Southeast Asia is Laos, Thailand's area, I mean, find the Arabic kanji. I don't think Thailand even uses soy sauce. What the heck IS Asia, really? (Or "Middle East" when half of that's Africa and the other half shares plate with Europe? )

Anyway, my experience with Asians that are Boomer ages tends to be people who immigrated as adults, who more identity with a generation like "Dankai" or "Sirake." My experiences with Latinos older than me... I've never actually asked if the generational labels are even the same.

The thing about that is that when the name is the same, it means enough cultural traits are shared.

My biggest experience with people who grew up under the term "Boomer" are Black and white.

I've noticed a unifying trait.

If they're something oppressed (Black, gay), their attitude tends to be"it is mandatory to stand up for *my* demograph...but kicking the person behind me on the ladder in the teeth is wholesome, pure, and fun."

Outing me to large groups and saying I "speak Asian" seem to be the most common two. Calling me "Chinese" long after I've cleared this up for them is a close third.

I mean, don't get me wrong--my experience with Italian Americans past GI generation has been that now acquiring the "white" label, just like biphobic/aphobic/transphobic cisgays, they're more often staunch priveledge defenders than cishet people of Anglo descent! And it's just as true for X and Y as it is for Boomer (for the latter, one need only look at NYC destroyer and trump defender Giuliani) I actually don't really identify with my Italian side at all because I was kinda locked out of making any meaningful connection.

But back to my point that even in so-leftist-it's-almost-not-America Bay Area, Boomers are still like this!

The kind of stuff that flows out a X/Y TERF's mouth, or the mouth of an X/Y person with a Confederate flag on his wall, American-raised Boomers say with ease regardless of their alignment! It's banananas.

(Please note that I also just have not met a whole lot of Native Americans, period, nor enough people significantly older than me from any one place in Africa, that was an omission of lacking data, not intended as erasure)

How I tie it to Ichigo--

So Kubo avoids specifying birth years for anyone.

When I see something like this, I generally assume date of publication, as do most people in most fandoms (which of course gets screwy when you have something endlessly rebooted like Superman or Batman or something eternally unchanging like Detective Conan)

Anyway, the first Bleach something published was the comic in '01.

I generally assume it was supposed to be the start of a new school year, as Ichigo doesn't know many of his classmates until at least the first test scores come out. So it's probably April or something.

If Ichigo was 15 then, he'd also be Post Dankai Juniors, just barely. If Ichigo TURNED 15 shortly after, during his adventure, he'd be undebatably Millennial.

Now, there is still something up with Dankai and Sirake. PM Abe is the latter, b. 1954. A lot of his age-peers are behind him. This is the guy who supports remilitarisation and was caught funding a private militarist/fascist high(?) school that teaches that people from countries Japan conquered during its brief phase of trying to beat colonial Europe are less than dogs.

Now, I left there as a teen. Clinton was US president. Scandals still got people kicked out of public office in Japan. I hadn't figured or come out yet. Sure, I got bullied for being mixed, but kids will pick if you like different singers than the "cool" ones. They'll pick based on what's in your lunch. That data is sausage.

I'm not 100% sure what Ichigo would face day-to-day sociopolitically as he grew up/aged. I haven't had living family since'95 there, and friendships don't get deep enough to ever last distance until at least high school. For me, adulthood.

But I've kept/caught up enough (you try keeping up in the South before the internet was more than ten University sites!) that I know he'd face fascists (c'mon, the guy takes on a martial law government to save a new friend--that's anarchist, he just doesn't seem anarchist in his own world. He only fights humans in defence) I'm not sure how he'd feel about the JSDF, but he only fought the sinigami's war out of feeling like it was his responsibility because the adults around him kinda made it so. I super don't see him being for *starting* wars. In a human war, I see him actually being like Sugihara Chiune, a historical figure who died when I was a kid who I majorly admire. He worked at a Japanese embassy in Nazi territory, and when the embassy was evacuated,he continued throwing passports to Jewish people to go to Japan from the train he was departing on,and is hidden from Americans in the same spirit that Martin Luther King is...pulled the teeth out of. (PS, speaking of,go Google Steven Kiyosi Kuromiya)

Also, Ichigo's whole schtick is defending those worse off than him. He's not someone I see defending Yamato Japanese priveledge. Heck, I could see him joining Uchinanchu efforts to get Parliament and the US base to leave them alone. I can easily see him sticking up for a Filipino domestic worker he met thirty seconds ago.

To this end, I think regardless of what he is, he'd have a large rub with Japan's equivalents of Boomers.

Not to mention that Abe supporters tend to be very sexist and queerphobic, which isn't even homegrown but imported from Américanisation. I mean, there were female warriors--assasins, which is what Yoruichi and Soi-Fon are styled after, and go look at some Ukiyoe, like Utagawa Kitamaro. Quite a few artists in the 200-ish years of the Edo period depicted life in the queer districts. I've also had people posit that Noh might've been a welcoming draw for trans people the same way drag was all over the US in the twentieth century and still is in rural areas, where there's less cisgay gatekeeping. But this isn't something I can reasonably research without access to plenty of older and not well known dusty documents, and lots of time, and I live in the US many years now. And do you know how much round trip airfare alone is!? Also, the language changed so much and I can't read anything before Meiji without dropping words. Rukia, Byakuya, Yoruichi all have made for TV old-sounding Japanese like period dramas. Actual 18th Century Japanese would be unintelligible to the unspecialised.

So this stuff isn't really native, but Abe and a lot of people his age support all these -isms.

I super don't see Ichigo being happy about this.

(I also feel like Issin's old enough to remember before these -isms, but that's my own thing. In my project, he was in those districts, but that's me)

At the same time, I'm still writing this through my own lens. Also, not still being there, I just don't have enough data on Yutori in adulthood, or the grown Yutori lens. Honestly, even most other immigrants I meet are older than that. Or older than that and their adorable three year old children. So I have no clue.

In the early 2000s, I got myself from the South to CA and began to reconnect, but began to is the key phrase. I can tell you right now that Abe is as much of a second phase of Nakasone as trump is of Nakasone's buddy Regean. But what shifted when, I can't say. I'm not entirely sure how Koizumi ran the ship, as it were. I know some things, but not enough to say.

But whenever things shifted however, and whichever year Ichigo was born, I just cannot imagine him being any more on board with current events than really anyone in my area not born between 1946-1964 and raised in America.

I feel like he'd probably be too tired or self-effacing to fight for himself, but he'd take on, loud and proud, any bigotry against *others.*

I...also can't really say I'm much different, except my joints are held together by the power of wishes, so I'm more like "get the victim to safety" than "give the attacker plenty of regret." So, I can only do anything in limited ways.

Ichigo is also entirely fuelled by the power of love. Lost his ability to protect and feels like his sinigami friends ditched him? Mondo depressed, however much he wants no one to notice--which most do a great job of ignoring! Everyone in his world turned against him for a guy who has attacked people close to him? Terrified, and murder can now be an answer. (Fullbring Arc)

I was going somewhere with that. I've forgotten, but I'll leave it.

But anyway, I feel like he really only comes close to fighting for himself when others are taken away from him in a way that's also wronging them.

So yeah, I super don't see him happy with current events or Sirake gen.

I'm not sure how much I see him fighting for himself as mixed panromantic grey-ace. I mean, we know he fights people who are about to punch his face in for his looks, but what else can you reasonably do at that point? Get your head bashed in? I'm not sure how much I see him fighting hateful words pointed at him versus resigning himself to "people are the worst." I mean, when he talks about being picked on, he kinda seems resigned, or at least like it's a fact, like shoes being for outside or something.

I guess I tied it to Ichigo a lot better than I thought!

But also, the struggle against people born just after the war is not just you, and not just America. It's a major problem.

And it's likely that Ichigo would agree.

#out of body #musings #baby boomers #generation x #millennials #Japanese generations #Japanese politics #queerphobia #colonialism #moritomo gakuen scandal #sugihara chiune #japanese history #yoruichi shihouin #edo period

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internaljiujitsu · 4 years

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F*%! FEAR: 6 Steps To Becoming Fearless

I lived in fear for forty years. It felt like weakness — as if there was something wrong with me that made me more scared than everyone else. My mother would always tell me about how sickly I was when I was born. How I stayed at the hospital for a month afterwards and how my aunt just barely saved me from dying once (so I guess I was kind of on borrowed time). I hated eating as a kid and was really skinny, adding to my weak mystique. In school, what I now know was anxiety would create psychosomatic illnesses. I’d feel sick, but it was all in my head. Stomach aches, dizziness, shortness of breath — It frustrated my dad — especially when he’d have to come pick me up from school again because I was freaking out on the inside.

We grew up watching the crack epidemic take over our neighborhood. The drug dealers did their business out of the fourth floor of our building. My brother and I would sweep up crack vials on the weekends to get our allowance from the superintendent — our dad. The tiny plastic cylinders with colorful caps filled the dustpan as we swept the roach infested vestibule leading down to the spooky, filthy basement.

Several young immigrants that had just arrived from Mexico were found dead over the years in the building next door, where Dad was also the super. Death from unnatural causes was a very real thing where we lived. Around age eight or nine, my alcoholic uncle, who lived in a storage room in the aforementioned basement (and would sometimes walk me to school), was killed when he fell while trying to climb a building to get to his ex girlfriend. I was about ten when our close family friend’s son, a squeaky clean kid visiting from the marine corp, was murdered defending a girl in the playground. At eleven or twelve, I watched my best friend’s dad kill a guy in an argument over a prostitute.

When I was fourteen, I was mugged at gunpoint around the corner from my family’s apartment. My big brother, wielding a large, rusty machete, took me around the entire neighborhood that night looking for the robber. The dude had worn a mask, so my brother put the blade to every thug’s neck that we passed on the street and asked me to look him deep in the eyes. They all knew my brother and respected him. They pleaded for mercy. Thankfully, we never found the guy.

That kind of shit was common in my old neighborhood. Baseball bats were swung in search of skulls and group rumbles were still a thing. I had family members snorting coke in front of me by the time I was in the fourth grade (and immediately making me promise I’d never do the same). Forty ounce bottles of beer were smashed over people’s heads in street fights. My crackhead cousin once robbed a dude using my favorite toy gun. He confessed to me when I found the gun broken and complained to him about it. Bullets fired from roof tops for fun whizzed through the ganja heavy air. It feels like we fought every day at school. That big yellow bus was like the fucking octogan.

We finally moved out of that neighborhood when I was sixteen after a gunfight forced our entire family to jump behind a parked car for cover. That shit was stressful. I was jumpy as hell. It didn’t help that Mom and Dad were very old school disciplinarians, if you know what I mean. There were fights outside and fights inside — all the time. I was always scared.

And that’s how I continued to grow up — I just didn’t show it, or let it stop me from fighting. When it was time to throw down in the street or at school, I always did. Partially because I knew my badass big brother would disown me if he heard I punked out. Backing down meant you were a victim. I once accidentally stepped on his buddy’s shoe and apologized. I’ll never forget what the guy said, “You never say sorry. It makes you look weak.” But a man’s sneakers were sacred in the hood, and I sure as hell never looked for a fight — unless I was channeling big brother.

He loved throwing the first punch and bragged about knocking guys out cold at night clubs — until a near death experience and one hundred and fifty stitches thanks to razor blade slashes made him reconsider his life choices. I’ll never forget when the call came in the middle of the night. I don’t remember why I answered the phone instead of my parents, but the voice on the other end is clear as day, “Your brother has been stabbed.” At that moment I thought the worst, and was relieved to see him gingerly walking through the door later that morning, battered, bruised and slashed to bits — but alive.

When I pretended to be my brother, I wasn’t above throwing a preemptive strike. We all had it in us. Hell, my dad was known to go into some destructive ass kicking rages when people pissed him off. I certainly tried my best not to get on his sizable bad side. Mom and sis aren’t exactly shrinking violets either.

My recurring nightmare as a child was of me walking down a beautiful tree lined street, the very one I always wanted to live on. It was only a few blocks from our shithole, but felt like a world away. In the dream, as I reluctantly step, there is the overwhelming feeling that someone is hiding in the shadows, waiting to attack. I’m petrified to move forward, but I keep going — slowly heading toward the inevitable. It was terrifying torture.

I don’t remember ever actually seeing the attacker. I’ve attached a bunch of meaning to that dream ever since, but at the root was my fear. For most of my life I moved forward, steadily but fearfully. I did things that made me want to shit my pants and forced my way through, hating every minute. In retrospect, these all helped build toughness and character, as did my old neighborhood, but the fear persisted. I became a bouncer, champion bodybuilder and an expert martial artist, but felt like a fraud for the unease that was my base level.

It wasn’t until I took these seven steps that terror’s grip on me loosened. Fear doesn’t have to be your enemy. If you learn how to use it, it will energize your actions and help you break past limitations. But first, you have to acknowledge that it’s there.

Accept that you and everyone you know will die. There’s no way around it. Yeah, it’s bleak, but if you wanna live in denial of death, you’re liable to swallow a bunch of bullshit to ease your mind. At its core, all fear is fear of death. When I was a kid, I hated when anyone brought up dying, especially my parents. The uncertainty was too overwhelming. There’s nothing more worthless than fear of the inevitable. It took me a couple of years of suicidal depression, meditation and time in sensory deprivation tanks to get comfortable with the idea of not existing. The tank feels like you’re floating in the womb. It’s pitch black, soundproof and the water is the same temperature as your body, so it feels lke there’s no separation. You and the enviornment become one. It’s blissfully peacful. Sure, I don’t want to die right now because I’m loving life, but I know it will happen one day — and I hope to enjoy that ride as much as I’m enjoying this one.

You’re not your personality. It’s easy to feel like a single, solitary soul drifting in a vast sea of faces. Valuing our individuality as we do, many of us strive to be unique while others do their best to blend into the collective. The way I see it, we’re all the current that powers these appliances we call our bodies. I feel like I’ve lived several separate lives filled with rich, distinct experiences and at the end of each, I mourned the death of an identity. While it feels like I was different people, the throughline was the same. The real me didn’t change. Our personalities are just things made up by our circumstances. They’re the features of the toaster. We’re the electricity that makes it work. I had to lose everything I had built to figure that one out. Once my marriage, home, business, students, money and identity were gone, it was just me — I had to be OK with that.

Your ego is not your life. Learning how to lose isn’t about being resound to failure. Losing is vital because it’s the only way to discover that life will go on when you do. The first time I lost something when I was sure I’d win was devastating. Everything I believed about myself was shattered. My invincibility was gone. Once I realized that defeat wasn’t death and the people that mattered would love me either way, I began to enjoy every aspect of competition instead of only focusing on the result. It wasn’t until I stopped giving a shit that things clicked. Being afraid of the embarrassment of failure is guaranteed to keep you from enjoying success.

Forgive your fear. Far worse than being afraid was my sense of shame. I hated that I wasn’t brave, like the thugs in my neighborhood. To me, being tough meant never being scared. As I became dedicated to martial arts and more interested in understanding fear, I realized that all those guys were probably just as scared as me. It would have been abnormal for me not to be afraid. The environment was so consistently charged with the potential for violence that I frequently lived in a survival state. Getting out unscaved would have taken a level of psychopathy I didn’t possess. When I forgave the little kid I was for being afraid, the shame melted away and the residual fear soon followed.

Whatever happens, everything always works out. You always know you’re in the right place because that’s where you are. No matter what, the world will keep moving on. It will do the same thing it’s doing now when you’re gone. You don’t need to worry quite so much about making the wrong choice when you accept that it doesn’t really matter what choice you make. Yes, of course you matter, your family will miss you and you’re a beautiful soul — all that jazz. But in the end, the world will continue to unfold, and the Earth will be incinirated by the sun — so fuck it. Embrace the experience but don’t cling to any result.

Step up. A sure fire way to kick fear’s ass is to look it in the eye and blow it a kiss. Fear is a bully. It’s all talk. It will try to shout you down until you grovel your way back to mediocrity. Pick something you’re afraid of and do it! Don’t try to not be afraid. Be afraid and do it anyway. But here’s the important part: Smile while you’re doing it. For me, it was roller coasters. I hated them as a kid. They terrified me, and each time I got on one, I regretted every click up to the top. The thought was always the same, “Why did I get talked into this? Let me off!” I never enjoyed the ride, closing my eyes tight and clenching my body until the hellish few seconds was over. One day, I decided that roller coasters represented the fear I wanted to conquer, so I got on the legendary Cyclone. It’s the old, rickety wooden monster at Coney Island in Brooklyn. The thing screeched a death knell and I loved it! I forced myself to smile from the moment I sat in the seat. I told myself that if that car came off the track, I was gonna soak in my final moments. I was sick and tired of being afraid of fear. My mindset shifted, and the click clack became excitement and anticipation instead of anxiety and fear. Funny how those can feel the same.

If you wanna take it a step further, start embracing pain. It may sound a little masochistic, but I like to stare at the needle when it goes in at the doctor. I like going to the dentist. They both used to scare the shit out of me. Even though I had always sought out the painful burn of a brutal workout, it was the pain I deemed unwanted that I sought to relabel. Smiling at the dentist or laughing after my knee was popped back into place in training were not ways to prove to myself that my body was tough, but that my mind was strong. The anticipation of pain is normally much worse than the physical sensation. Change the way you see pain and the way you interpret the sensation will transform

Of course, no one is fearless — unless they’re a psychopath. Fear will always be with you. It’s what you do with it that determines how far you go. The fluttering in your belly is a sign to take action that scares you because it will force you to grow. The quicker your pulse, the bigger the potential change. Don’t deny your fear. Jump on, throw your hands up and enjoy the beautifully terrifying thrill ride.

#mind #body #mindset #motivation #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #wellness #coach #internaljiujitsu #awareness #mindfulness #fear #fearless #competition #Performance Anxiety

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octoberinvienna · 5 years

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Youth, Marriage, Motherland

There is something sublime and quietly magical that happens to me when I cross the border into Poland, the country of my birth. It’s not exactly a feeling and certainly no kind of realization but instead a wave or state or sensation that both envelopes and radiates. A profound peacefulness. Some alignment of the axes of my DNA. Not really borne of any geographic nostalgia for the place since I never lived there beyond my toddler years. But a soulful, even spiritual, fondness, connection, unity with the land that was first felt under my tiny feet, that fed and sustained my parents and their parents, with this beleaguered country that appears and disappears from maps over the centuries and yet retains its clear historic arc.

As I’ve already said, despite what it might appear from the above, I don’t feel myself to have any particular nostalgia for being a Pole in particular, let alone any identifiable national pride, but it is the place I’m from, stamped on my birth certificate and passport, and for whatever reason, it’s where I feel most unhurried, most pleasantly resigned, least like a stranger in a strange land. And I can assure you, that as a younger me, I never, ever, imagined that would be the case.

For an immigrant child, the relationship between your personal identity and ‘home’ country is complex in almost indescribable ways. Amongst my earliest memories is my first day at daycare near Roncesvalles Ave, the Polish community’s landing spot in Toronto until very recently. I had become comfortable in a mock car in the corner of the classroom and couldn’t understand why the teacher was pulling me out when I was clearly telling her that I wasn’t done yet. Since children don’t typically require a common language to play, there aren’t too many other misunderstandings that I readily recall from those early days. But every few years after that brought a new mysterious paradigm shift in how I thought of myself, my Polishness in a Canadian world, the accents of my parents, the foods that we ate and avoided, and the wool cardigans I always suffered through on school picture day.

Being different as a kid in Toronto is definitely less difficult than in most other cities of the world. Almost everyone, especially in newcomer neighbourhoods, is some variety of novel. My kindergarten playground was a mini-UN. Grade school was in a Maltese neighbourhood (if you can believe that) and with a healthy mix of Philipino, Vietnamese, Dominican, Jamaican, Portuguese, Ukrainian, and of course, Canadian kids. My high school was predominantly Italian or they at least tried hard to make it feel that way. But even there, I studied and played sports with Croats, Salvadoreans and Lebanese friends and classmates.

Even in this multicultural melange, I still felt outside the norm on better days and embarrassed for my heritage on worse ones. I always had blackforest ham sandwiches on rye bread for lunch. No one else every did. I never got granola bars, or rice pudding, or fruit roll-ups, because I was a sophisticated pre-teen with old world canapes in my He-Man lunchbox. I couldn’t understand why my parents were unable to pronounce three or thirteen or thirsty even as adults. That my dad didn’t recognize the crucial difference between Nike and Nike Air running shoes. That my mom would look for me in the neighbourhood, while I was playing baseball or hockey, by hollering for me in my diminutive Polish name Piotrus – which when you’re 12 is pretty much the equivalent of her with a mega-phone yelling: Sweetie Petey Pie!

In the assertively awkward teenage years, it’s not an exaggeration to say that I shunned my heritage. As I mentioned, there didn’t seem to be many other cool Polish kids around. My skin crawled when recent Polish arrivals gave presentations in English class, well researched and heavily accented. Now, looking back 20 years later, I couldn’t be more embarrassed that I was so embarrassed, but in that frail dawning time of life, I needed confidence drawn from the collective inputs to my makeup and being Polish didn’t appear to provide that in any way. I couldn’t help but feel that being a Pole dragged me down more than it lifted me up.

That all thankfully started to shift in my 20s. Broadened experiences, a University education and the first of many overseas trips began to expand and contextualize how interesting it is to have a whole world within yourself that isn’t necessarily evident to those in the world outside you. With the help of new friends and acquaintances, I felt emboldened to appreciate knowing a unique (if not particularly practical) language, celebrating communal rituals and events in specific ways, getting under the skin of my parents’ decisions and memories of my sandwiches and school trips and all the invisible-to-me in’s and out’s, before’s and after’s of life from their perspectives – that they only now could themselves acknowledge with some distance and hard-earned stability. I realized that the best kind of multiculturalism doesn’t mean the fading away of heritage, but the doubling-down, the creation of new, as yet unknown, fusions, the celebration and sharing of the meaning of your roots.

After all those years and that enjoyable evolution, it still never entirely settled though. I continued to find Poles xenophobic at worst and grouchy grumpy at best. I wondered how I’d ever find a woman to marry me and what I could possibly offer in negotiations to her family for taking on my name. What would my folks expect of my wife? Could she possibly ever meet the exacting Catholic Eastern European standards that travel silently from generation to generation?

As you enter proper adulthood, questions of identity become deprioritized in the all-encompassing effort to become independent, blaze a respectful life and career path, and at the base, manage to have somewhere to live and some food to eat. More time is spent doing than reflecting. In that vein, as a 35 year old graduate student of immigration in Brussels, where once, in a seminar on integration and identity, I may have questioned aloud what I owed to my Polish (and now EU) passport, I found the woman to perfectly complement the parts of me that needed complementing.

Her background was even more interesting than mine, and dare I say, more complicated. A Sudanese Copt of Egyptian heritage with a Russian mother. It still thrills and baffles me to hear the stories of her youth, childhood, emigration, integration and evolution. And always provides an invaluable and cherished counterpoint to my own cultural self-realization.

Dalia and I get to co-habit a world much larger than the one immediately evident in front of us. Full of history and exploration, questions and discovery, interpretation and perspective. She took my name and even claims to like it. She memorized a speech in Polish and recited it to my parents at our wedding to barely a single dry eye. And she sits next to me here, as we drive our rented car across the Czech border with Poland, on the highway linking Osprava to Katowice, and bringing us to Krakow. She looks forward to bigos as much as I do to pierogi. She craves herring and rye bread like a true Pole, but even better, because she isn’t one. My peacefulness is further fulfilled in her. My genes rejoice at being home, my heart rejoices for being hers. The journey of life takes us to many places but in some sense, it’s always about drilling deeper into yourself and the things closest and most important. And there is little better than sharing that journey and even finding an unexpected guide towards its fulfillment.

#writing #love #poland

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sol1056 · 6 years

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when the lamp stays unlit

a multi-part anon that’s been waiting awhile:

...I never really fully thought of shiro as physically disabled... he had a fully functional prosthetic arm with all the motor skills of a real arm plus superhuman strength and so forth AND because it didn’t really impair him. It would be one thing if he was physically disabled and the show thus normalized disability; but to me, Shiro��s arm (and Ezor‘s fake leg and Zethrid‘s missing eye) were more like sci-fi ‘cool battle scars’ rather than things that really impacted their social or emotional life. [...] The missing arm made [Shiro] more incapacitated during s7 (I guess?) but it was an excuse for benching him, which is something I found ableist. And while he has a mental illness as well, I thought it only ever became an issue when it was convenient to the plot. Hope that made sense, it wasn’t my intention to be insensitive since many people see him as great disability rep.

This is nearly as difficult a subject as race, but it’s also an important discussion to have. We do need the conversation about LGBT+ representation in VLD, but it’s drowning out an equally important conversation about how disability is represented (and treated) in popular media.

As a caveat, I’m a work in progress when it comes to un-learning the ableism that permeates Western culture, even when directly harmed by its perpetuation. So I’m inviting anyone with the spoons and lived experience to join in. The more voices and perspectives, the better.

Behind the cut: clarifying a few terms, how the SFF genre conceptualizes disability, how humans conceptualize difference, narrative treatment of Shiro as disabled, and PTSD/mental health in popular media.

First, let’s define some terms so we’re on the same page. Assistive technology “increases or maintains the capabilities of people with disabilities.” Adaptive technology (a subset of assistive) is tech “specifically designed for persons with disabilities and would seldom be used by non-disabled persons.” Gadgets like sock cradles are assistive, since an abled person might use them; a prosthesis or screen reader would be adaptive. The majority of media representations of disability will use adaptive technologies to signal a disability, rather than assistive. (definition from wikipedia)

Now for a few lesser-known terms. There’s a philosophical concept concerning the breakage of things we’ve always taken for granted. Like flipping a light switch: the light goes on. We don’t pause to marvel over what made the lightbulb glow. Then one day, you flip the switch and the light doesn’t come on. Now suddenly you have to stop and notice something that previously you’d never given much attention.

This sudden awareness of wrongness --- the light not going on --- takes three forms. It can be conspicuous, where it’s visibly damaged, ie the lamp is smashed. It can be obtrusive: a part is missing, ie there’s no bulb in the socket. Or it can be obstinate, ie the bulb and lamp are fine, we just don’t have power.

The abled perspective --- when suddenly reminded of disability --- is to see the disability as conspicuous and obtrusive. That is, broken and incomplete. Which means, that’s the only story the abled perspective knows, so that’s the story it tells, over and over.

It’s a common assumption, especially in the SFF genre: adaptive technology removes a character from the category of disabled. Cybernetic modifications or prostheses become design elements; the character is considered --- and written --- as abled. In a sense, the character is like the lamp when there’s power: the author can ignore the label of ‘disability’ and carry on without giving more thought to the issue.

But if there’s removal (or breakage), for the author, it’s like flipping a switch and the light doesn’t go on. You can almost hear the author thinking: ‘oh, forgot this character can’t do anything.’ Until the story provides repairs or replacement, the previously adaptively-abled character is now un-abled.

Disability --- in the absence of adaptive technology --- is, at best, obstinate. The character is neither broken nor incomplete; they’re a lamp without a power source. Nothing else has changed. But if someone never gave thought to how lamps need power to operate, their first reaction won’t be to ask if the power’s out. It’ll be to check the lamp, the bulb, the wiring, and declare it mysteriously broken because no light is happening.

Abled writers effectively shift the blame onto the lamp: it’s now useless, by some ill-defined sense. But it’s not; it hasn’t changed. It was reliant on power when power was available, and it’s reliant when power’s not available, too.

The analogy itself is already too simple for the reality; it implies a person could be abled/disabled as on/off. So let’s adjust, and say: the lamp has a solar-power backup and still lights up --- just not as quickly or brightly. Or it’s a drill whose battery needs recharging: it’s still usable as a manual screwdriver, awkward but workable. Plus, the base is still handy as a makeshift hammer.

The presence of any given disability does not automatically mean the person is fully dis-abled by all other measures as well. Analogies only go so far, after all.

But this is the main point: the character never stopped being disabled, any more than the lamp stopped needing power. By that same token, the person who takes medication for ADD isn’t ‘cured’ with medication, anymore than a paraplegic stops being unable to walk just because they have a wheelchair.

Now that I think about it, this could extend to just about any representation one doesn’t experience personally. I mean, we do it to each other: “behind the grill, she’s one of the guys.” And then we see the person after work in a dress and heels and we’re reminded she was a woman all along; we were just setting aside her gender because we could ignore it. Like the light switch we flip unthinkingly, we paid that detail no mind.

And the fact is: it doesn’t matter if an onlooker judges a trait as irrelevant. The person still has that gender, religion, ability, sexuality, ethnicity, age, etc. When we aim to be colorblind, or genderblind, or sexualityblind... it’s like having a lamp that won’t go on and not realizing electricity is required. We’re blind to half the picture, so we blame the lamp, not the absence of power.

We’re forgetting that because we can ignore her gender doesn’t mean she can. Or even would. But so long as we can, we’ll miss all the ways her reality informs her experiences.

You’re right that benching Shiro in S7 was an ableist move. The entire season makes evident how little thought the staff has afforded Shiro. To them, he was abled, now he is not, and this radically changes everything: no longer a paladin, not even a pilot, nor even on the front lines (and when he is, he loses). As @caramelcheese pointed out, Shiro’s fought with both hands tied behind his back. Lacking one arm shouldn’t slow him down in the least.

Others have written at length about Shiro’s new prosthesis. They’ve raised practical issues with a floating arm, such as imbalance and center-of-gravity, and ethical issues such as the offensiveness of a design that echoes his tormentor’s signature detail, so I won’t belabor those here. To me, there are two aspects even more insidious.

One is caused by narrative silence on Shiro’s changed status. Shiro’s only visible difference is the loss of his prothesis; the narrative fails to address this, let alone provide any other explanation. Narrative silence becomes tacit confirmation: an amputee cannot be a hero.

The second is the dehumanization. Before S7, in casual dress, Shiro’s arm was evident; in armor, he was no more marked than anyone else. His expulsion from being a paladin is visually reinforced by his loss of the Black Paladin’s armor; the Garrison uniform and space suit are modified to be constant reminders that Shiro is disabled. There is empty air where his upper arm would be.

His redesign marks him as literally incomplete.

As for mental health, we can’t discuss Shiro’s PTSD in a vacuum, when it’s a part of so many kids’ lives. Some suffer PTSD themselves from first-hand trauma, and likely many more suffer it along with their parents as a result of the US’ anti-immigrant attitudes. The hardest hit may be military kids between 8 and 18, of whom roughly one in five has a parent who suffers from PTSD.

Shiro had to have been a powerful figure for those kids. He had onscreen panic attacks and flashbacks, yet remained a hero in the story and to his team. His PTSD-inflected moments may have served the plot, but those also worked to keep present the continuing damage from his trauma. More importantly for younger viewers, he laid a hero’s narrative over the sometimes terrifying reality of a family member who suffers from PTSD or related trauma.

S3 left that behind, turning Shiro’s trauma into headaches, and even that much mentioned rarely. By S7, no signs of PTSD remained. The EPs’ tone-deaf explanation --- that Shiro learned to grit his teeth and just deal with his trauma --- was a horrific betrayal of the audience who related to Shiro. Willpower has never been a viable cure for mental illnesses or trauma.

One ingredient for healing from PTSD is support and love from a strong network of family and friends, and it’s ironic the series’ only example of a healing moment was the DnD episode. It allowed Shiro/Kuron to create and role-play a new story for himself, in a safe environment, surrounded by the support of people who mattered most to him. When Shiro/Kuron tells Coran that he feels better after playing, it’s one of the rare grace notes in the story: because that would be a healing experience for someone with PTSD.

Shiro’s story undergoes an odd reversal. He begins the story treated as though he’s abled, yet mentally traumatized. By S7, the story considers him disabled yet also fully ‘over’ his PTSD. He went from conspicuous and obtrusive for his PTSD, to conspicuous and obtrusive for being an amputee.

After thinking about it, I wonder if perhaps it’s because once the lamp has been broken for long enough --- regardless of the reason --- it eventually becomes yet another thing we don’t think about. Just like once, perhaps as children, we found light switches fascinating and the lamp going on/off to be worthy of deep thought, eventually we learned to pay it no mind.

Perhaps Shiro’s reversal is yet another indication of an abled creator who doesn’t understand the obstinate nature of disability. We have some backwards notions about illness, in the US, and one of them is that illness is a moral failure. Like, if you just tried hard enough, you’d be better. Any disability for which there’s no cure --- you can’t regrow an arm, after all --- thus renders the person both permanently broken and morally inadequate.

And, apparently, not worthy of being a paladin.

#vld #voltron #disability #representation #characterization #sol thinks about stuff #random existentialism terms #come for the sugar stay for the salt

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briangroth27 · 5 years

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Back to the MCU Part 2: The X-men

I’m absolutely looking forward to Dark Phoenix and New Mutants—I’ve loved or really liked all of the X-men movies except two and I’m sad to see the franchise end—but I’m also looking forward to the X-men joining the MCU. I was skeptical of the fan insistence that Spider-man would be inherently better just because Homecoming was part of the MCU and I was proven wrong, but I’m still not sure that the X-men going home will be a magical improvement. The Fox-films aren’t perfect, but they’re not the worthless dreck a lot of people make them out to be either and it’ll be a shame to lose all the good things about them (unfortunately along with The Gifted in all likelihood). Still, this is what’s happening and I’ll always be excited for new X-men adventures: they’re my favorite comics and I love seeing them brought to life! In a perfect world, we’d get a new X-men TV series (heck, both a live-action one and a new animated series) because there are just too many characters to explore over a trilogy or two of movies, but for these purposes, I’m going to assume they’ll only be doing X-films.

Full spoilers for the Fox-verse and MCU up to this point....

X-men Origins How should mutants appear in the MCU? This is super-simple: they just do.

There’s always been a handful around, like Xavier, Magneto (their ages and Erik’s Holocaust experience can be explained by saying they knew a mutant who could rejuvenate others), Apocalypse, Shadow King, etc., but mutants are just now starting to appear en masse. They’re a new and mysterious global phenomenon. Importantly, they’re a natural evolution and the most “cause” that should ever be given is the real-life explanation for evolutionary mutation: a reaction a hostile environment. Sure, you could say Thanos’ Snap created that type of environmental condition, but no one should be responsible for making mutation happen. This is something I strongly believe has to hold true: mutants can’t be created in a lab somewhere or Snapped back into existence “wrong” or have their X-genes turned on by Scarlet Witch or something. If anything like that happens, mutants automatically lose their “we’re natural, normal, and we’re supposed to be here” argument. It’s why the Inhumans aren’t really a great substitute for the mutants-as-minorities metaphor: even though the present-day Inhumans were born that way, they can still be traced back to experiments the Kree conducted on humans. Mutants, however, are completely normal and exactly what they’re supposed to be. Also, it’s that lack of an “explanation” that scares normal people and separates mutants from the other superheroes in the MCU. Bigots can write off a radioactive spider bite or a gamma accident as powers that happened to “those poor people,” but the X-men showing up and saying “this is who we are naturally, our powers come from the core of our being, and we’re the future?” That scares them and brings out the hate. That last point is just as much a source of fear as the others: just look at how white supremacists in real life scream about “being replaced” by Jewish people, Muslims, immigrants, etc.

I’ve been asked on Twitter how the common MCU people would be able to tell that the X-men are any different from the Avengers (Thor vs. Storm was the example I was given), and the answer’s in the characters. Storm and the rest of the team would absolutely self-identify as mutants, feeling they shouldn’t have to pass as aliens/accidents for an easier life (in addition to their stated goal of proving that mutants can be trusted). With that pride and the insistence that mutants are the future, bigoted reactions would mimic LGBTQIA hate: "Why should we cater to a minority? They should be committed/cured, not supported, coddled, and allowed to continue living in their delusions,” etc. People's kids being mysteriously powered is also a much scarier concept than an alien the public barely interacts with (Ragnarok having civilians know about Thor and Jane’s relationship status still rings false to me, unless Darcy’s been blogging). Thor's an external anomaly to the everyday MCU citizen and while the Avengers might accidentally wreck your town, mutants could be in your family and are an intimate threat to The Way Things Are.

I’ve also been asked how you square Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver with Magneto if the X-men just appear now rather than being rebooted into the history of the MCU, and that’s simple too. They aren’t his kids anymore in the comics, so you might not even need to explore that connection in the movies. If they do want to, he could be a secret parent they didn’t know about. They still don’t have to be mutants since their origin is tied to Loki’s scepter. Either way, Wanda’s continued presence in the MCU is not a continuity deal-breaker.

First Class While the idea I’ve seen tossed around of the team suddenly snapping into view after Xavier has been psychically hiding them from the world for years would be a cool reveal, I don’t think they’ll want to burn all the A-list X-men by introducing them as adults. IMO, the X-men are going to be the backbone of multiple future MCU phases since the big-name Avengers are winding done, so they’re going to want to cast X-teens who can grow with the MCU. They’ll also want to start at the beginning and (hopefully) really dig into the team finding its groove, learning as they go. I’ve enjoyed the Fox prequel trilogy immensely so far, but jumping 10 years between each film takes the wind out of proper development arcs. Showing the team’s learning curve as superheroes would also set them apart from the Avengers, who have personality conflicts but essentially came to the team as polished heroes.

Fox’s prequel X-team is a pretty perfect lineup in terms of characters, so I wouldn’t change the core roster much (though I do expect everyone to be recast). We’d meet the X-men as they’re recruited, allowing the film to both touch on the world mutants are living in and to show who these kids were outside the mansion. That’ll not only show the healing effect of having other kids like them in their orbit, but will also emphasize how important the school is as a safe haven (and found family) from the rest of the world. One area where Fox’s films have fallen short (and The Gifted has excelled) is showing what the common people’s reaction to mutants is, rather than just sticking with the military’s thoughts, and I hope the MCU follows that show’s lead.

While every teenager (and even every adult) can relate to the X-men’s outsider status, mutants are also (and most importantly) supposed to represent the oppressed in our society and the next cast should reflect that. So, I’d do a lot of race and sexual orientation switches. For example, Cyclops should be Native Alaskan. He’s closely tied to that region in the comics, Summers isn’t the real family name (it was chosen by an immigrant ancestor in the comics and here could be an example of his family trying to assimilate), and the pressure to be a “model minority” would mesh perfectly with Scott’s constant drive to be a straight-laced boy scout who thinks he’d be useless if he failed. I’d let the comics’ subtext about Storm being bi or pansexual be text here. I’d also stick closer to her having been a “goddess” as well as a thief; she should be the one mutant in history that ruled humans without fear or violence so she can be a voice of reason and experience on the team. Nightcrawler could be updated into a swashbuckling street performer who’s a little internet-famous (part of a growing mutant youth subculture) in addition to his religious struggles. He could also be a positive role model in how he embraces and celebrates his physical differences (like he did on X-men Evolution), no matter who calls him a demon. Kurt could be any race as long as he’s from Germany, though I kinda like the idea of one of the few white guys being blue the whole time. Rouge would definitely start out as a villain if I were writing it. She doesn’t necessarily need to be white and making her an African-American teen from Mississippi could grant her a whole new perspective on the mutants-as-minorities idea: her loss of memories and self could reflect the black American experience of not knowing where your ancestors came from or what their culture was. I also think her reaction to meeting a literal queen who’s also a black woman would be pretty great; Storm could be a role model for her once she starts to reform (and maybe punk Storm could come from interacting with Rogue’s more fun-loving persona). Those new aspects could potentially bolster the outsider feeling she’ll already have thanks to her powers acting like a disease that forbids her from making unencumbered contact with others, so she could be relatable on several fronts.

New Mutants Scott, Ororo, Kurt, and Rogue would be my core team throughout all the films, but there’d be room for others as well. Jean’s another favorite of mine and it’d be cool to see her without the Phoenix as a predetermined end-point in mind for a while. I’ve seen it pointed out on Twitter that one of her biggest assets is her empathy, so let her use that to promote human/mutant understanding and use her comic origin story to drive her towards not letting anyone die. Gambit would be a lot of fun (and, in keeping with making things more diverse, the movies could go through with an intended comic development that he’d be bi), but I would definitely not adapt his charm power: there’s just too much room for that to get rapey to even try including it (plus, he shouldn’t need a power to be charming). Being a roguish thief with a heart of gold would play well against both the X-men and the gruff Wolverine when he’s introduced. Jubilee is more than deserving of a larger, more active role after being a glorified cameo so many times; maybe she eventually becomes the PR face of the school? Iceman’s always been another favorite of mine and his deep-seated denial of his homosexuality would bring another realistic touch to the team. Polaris, X-23, Honey Badger, Eclipse, Quicksilver (who I guess is dead, though; it’s a shame we have to leave the superior cinematic one behind in the Fox-verse), Domino, Bishop, Beast, Firestar, Psylocke, Shadowcat, etc. …the list of great characters in this franchise goes on and on and they’d all be welcome; this is why there needs to be a show, not just films!

Logan, the Wolverine We should get to Wolverine at some point—he’s another one of my favorites and there’s no denying he’s the most popular mutant—and I’d play up the parallels between him and Scott rather than focus on the love triangle with Jean. But first, I want them to hold off on Logan and maybe not even introduce him until something like the third movie. Let the rest of the team breathe and become an ensemble before reintroducing a new Wolverine, who’ll instantly be saddled with comparisons to arguably the most iconic version of the character: Hugh Jackman’s. They’d spend most of their time justifying the new Logan and I worry that the rest of the characters would be sidelined again. Instead, let’s see all of them get the chance to be as fleshed-out and celebrated as Logan is, then add him in and watch as the franchise gets even bigger from there. Maybe a way around Logan stealing the X-spotlight is to do something unorthodox (yet with enough comic precedence to appease the fans) and introduce him in an Avengers movie first. Maybe the Avengers could take the place of Alpha Flight in the MCU (or maybe they’d do something totally unexpected and just make an Alpha Flight movie). Personally I’d like to see a Logan who was absolutely horrible in his past—an animal occasionally pointed in the right direction—who then had the mind-wipe truly make him a better person who’s out to atone for a life he doesn’t remember. I think that would be compelling and would make the mind-wipe matter. Edit: I thought it might work to make Logan a POC to reflect real-life atrocities and experimentation carried out against minorities, but “violent rage machine who becomes a hero after (probably white) scientists torture him and erase his identity” would be a terrible message since you could say it argues they improved him. If he were innocent before Weapon X it would be different (and possibly a comment on the damage white people have inflicted on just about everyone else); I guess it depends on what they want Logan's story to be and what effect Weapon X has on him (and there should be an effect, not that X-men Origins nonsense where he's essentially the same person on both sides of it). If he's an angry white guy who's improved by forgetting who he was/the society that made him that way, that could be an interesting comment on the white male rage we see so much of today too.

Dark Phoenix, Apocalypse (and other X-threats) I definitely don’t want to see Magneto right away (though he’s the best villain in fiction). On film, we need a break from him (though if they wanted to make him Xavier’s co-leader of the X-men for an extended period, I’d be interested). I genuinely liked Mystique’s character development into just that position in the prequel films, but when she returns in the MCU it should be as a villain first (and certainly as Kurt’s mom—or why not his dad, as originally planned?—and Rogue’s adoptive mother). Stryker, the Sentinels, and the Phoenix Saga should all be held off until far down the road as well.

I wish I could remember who on Twitter suggested it, but I love the idea of using conversion therapy as the basis for an X-men villain, so that’s how I’d open the series (let’s call these films The Uncanny X-men, for argument’s sake). Use Mesmero as one of two main villains, mind-controlling mutants into thinking that they don’t have powers to the point where they subconsciously shut down their access to them (like Iceman did to himself after House of M). Do this through Legion-esque twisty, mind-bending psychic sequences (so we can see each character’s inner fears and character traits), but mixed with real-world conversion therapy horrors. Once Mesmero’s phase is completed, the “cured” mutants are thrown into an elaborate deathtrap/maze to make sure they can’t access their powers anymore…this would be a Murderworld designed by an updated Arcade! That would provide the bombastic third act after the Mesmero stuff gives us some great character work. Xavier sends the team in to investigate this process (maybe it’s set on Genosha) and they meet Rogue there, who’s also undercover but for Mystique, out to kill everyone involved whereas the X-men want to expose the torture and shut it down peacefully to be a good example. You could start to argue whether the X-men being upstanding superheroes allows them to go far enough with a third party like Rogue/the Brotherhood.

My second movie would feature Mr. Sinister and his attempts to keep up with mutants by experimenting on himself to give himself powers. I’d make it a cultural appropriation metaphor, by having Sinister create agents for the government (the Freedom Force seems like an appropriate right-wing name and it looks like they might be needed to step in where the Avengers leave off after Endgame) who are heroes and celebrated by the public, whereas the X-men are still hated. The X-men would of course resent the popular “mutates” taking what made them special and being celebrated for it while they’re still hated. If the first movie is about the X-men fighting to prove they should be here, the second would be about mutants establishing their own culture (and the burgeoning mutant subculture would absolutely be a part of this). It’d also be about humans artificially clinging to relevance and fearing losing their status in society (extremely relevant to a huge problem with white society in America today), while larger sci-fi themes about moving toward the future of humanity via evolution are explored through Sinister. Sinister’s base would absolutely be in the Savage Land so we could see X-men vs. dinosaurs: in addition to just being fun and cool (and big business, if the Jurassic World movies are any indication), dinosaurs would metaphorically represent the human race. They’d be a constant reminder of the extinction and irrelevance Sinister is trying to outthink. Perhaps Sauron could be a minor villain in that setting. Since I wouldn’t want to do Phoenix yet, a Madelyne Prior story might be better for this new era (maybe she’s one of Sinister’s Freedom Force mutates). If they don’t want to do the Captain Marvel/Rogue animosity—and I’m not sure I want to see Carol lose her memories and herself again, though you could create a bond between the two of them over Carol being manipulated by the Kree and Rogue by Mystique (maybe that’s how they’d finally resolve their hatred?)—another of Sinister’s mutates being called Warbird and having flight/super-strength would be a fine substitute for Rogue to get her iconic powers and send her to the X-men for help.

As we get into Uncanny 3, I’d do Onslaught, but a more streamlined version that doesn’t involve the Heroes Reborn thing. I’d rather it be confined to the X-men, but since we’re in the MCU now it’d be a good opportunity for the teams to team up. My Onslaught wouldn’t be a Magneto/Xavier mind-meld, but a Xavier who finally lost hope in his dream and decided to force humans to accept mutants. I think Xavier screwing with the team, implanting false memories to manipulate them, sow discord, etc. would be a lot of fun…and a chance to have Rogue be the big damn hero because of her mental training to suss out her actual personality (in these films I’d dedicate time to the team actively helping her try to control her abilities and rediscover herself). A psychic threat would also be a nice bookend to the team’s first film and a response to “how impactful can the X-men be as true-blue heroes?,” while defeating Xavier would be a natural end to this chapter as the team goes on to new adventures under Scott and Ororo’s leadership.

Once we’ve explored new threats, I’m fully open to digging into Magneto, Apocalypse (hopefully maintaining his “I’m trying to save you all by forcing conflict to evolve you” delusion), Stryker, the Sentinels, Mystique, Shadow King, Juggernaut, Sabretooth, Omega Red (who hasn’t been used yet), etc. again. Whatever they do, I hope the MCU goes big and explores all facets of the X-universe, like Genosha, Asteroid M, the Morlocks, the Brood, Madripoor, Mojo, etc. The X-world is a rich one unto itself, so Disney should let it shine and really flesh out the MCU beyond the real-world boundaries they’ve lived in so far and are only just now starting to venture from (at least on Earth). When we do get to Phoenix again, I hope it’ll be a natural evolution and Jean’s quest to make the world better so no one has to die again, not a cosmic space bird trying on feelings or a secret evil split personality (as an early X3 idea pitched, my Jean would evolve into the comics’ cosmic force).

United I absolutely don’t want some sort of Avengers vs. X-men thing. Who wants the Avengers turned into the militant arm of a bigoted government or something? No matter how you slice it, the X-men represent minorities/PoC/the oppressed, so making the Avengers fight them just seems wrong and automatically tips them toward being agents of oppression. If you lean too far into “mutant powers really are dangerous” to justify the Avengers fighting them, the X-men lose their social relevance. At “best,” you’ll have the Avengers making an argument along the lines of “protests that cause property damage are just as bad as the racists/social inequality they’re protesting,” which is not a good look for anyone. Plus, I’m just sick of heroes fighting heroes.

I wouldn’t do House of M or X-men vs. Inhumans either: extinction events not perpetrated by bigots trying to pull off genocide undercut the metaphor of mutancy. The X-men represent oppressed minorities, not snow leopards.

Deadpool: The Last Stand While it would be absolutely crazy if Dark Phoenix ended with Jean re-creating the Fox-Earth into the MCU or something, I don’t think the Fox-verse will get that kind of send-off. Aside from Dark Phoenix, New Mutants (which looks very spooky-cool but who knows if it will be released in theaters or on Hulu), and The Gifted (which will almost certainly be cancelled, sadly) the big dangling thread of the Fox-verse is the still-popular Deadpool. Legion will be ending after Season 3 and I think it’s safe to say Gambit, Shadowcat, Multiple Man, etc. are dead at this point, and that’s probably for the best if Disney wants to create a unified vision and start fresh.

However, a Deadpool 3 (or X-Force) film should definitely still happen, and I have an idea to help the characters (and actors) we love from those movies make the jump to the MCU intact. I think DP3/X-Force should be an adventure on Mojoworld! Deadpool’s probably the only live-action property that would be willing to go all-in on Mojo, so they should be the one to take the dive (especially now that Shatterstar’s mentioned it exists). Everyone gets abducted and the writers can go extremely meta with it. They could structure it similarly to the first Mojo episode of the 90s X-men cartoon, but with jokes about Hollywood’s obsession with sequels, reboots, and the franchise wars (as well as society’s relationship with the media). They could also joke about fan fears about Disney making them PG-13 (though I think those fears are unfounded), via some Good Place-esque censorship. Mojo’s televised world could also allow for cameos galore from the Fox-films, including the much-desired Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds team-up. This isn’t how I’d prefer to see those actors together for the last time, but since it seems like the only option I’d take it. And at the end of this Mojoverse adventure? The Fox-verse is “cancelled,” leaving Wade and friends to be dumped into the MCU. You could cherry-pick the Fox timeline for favorites to save here: Wade, Domino, Negasonic, Colossus, Blind Al, Vanessa, Cable, Dopinder, both Yukios, and Laura/X-23 would all be welcome IMO (alternatively, I’ll take people like Zazie Beetz and Dafne Keen getting cast as Domino and Laura again in the MCU, just with new origins). If there’s a way to get The Gifted characters—especially Polaris and Eclipse—to the MCU too (if Blink’s season 2-ending portal doesn’t do it and make that group the MCU’s Exiles; seeing them come from a hardened anti-mutant world into an MCU where mutants are just starting to pop up in large numbers would be a really cool switch for them), I’m all for that as well. You could even give X-Force’s appearance in the MCU some narrative impact by forcing Xavier to accelerate his plan for the X-men to go public to counteract Deadpool’s team in the public eye, since Wade is not the guy you want at the center of the mutant rights effort.

Days of Future Past I realize most of this won’t happen (especially my ideas for the movies, but hey Disney, if you want some X-novels give me a call), but it’s a vision of the X-Franchise’s future I’d like to see. The big things are that mutants should just appear naturally, Disney should be open to casting and writing the characters more diversely than they’ve been in the comics (a consideration I’d extend to the franchise’s creators behind the scenes and soundtrack as well, though the main theme should absolutely be the 90s Animated Series theme!), and the MCU should take the time to dig into every aspect of the franchise rather than immediately hitting beats Fox has already covered. There are a lot of socially-relevant angles to tackle the X-men world with, and I want to see them all explored. The Disney/Fox deal is officially finalized on March 20, so we’ll soon see how the X-men will fit in.

Whatever happens, I’m excited to see Dark Phoenix and I can’t wait to see more X-adventures in the MCU!

What do you think? What do you want to see from the X-men in the MCU?

Check out more of my theories, reviews, and original short stories here!

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luvneedsnosyt · 5 years

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My Favorite Albums of 2018

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2018

You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2018 here.

My Previous monthly lists from 2018: January , February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

My list last year for my top Albums of 2017 can be found here.

*Indicated someone I saw live in 2018

Honorable Mention:

Alan Walker - Different World Genre: Electronic / Dance

Different World is life in a digital universe. On the surface the mechanical synth-based melodies might come off as a bit too artificial, but if you dispel the notion computers can’t be a musical instrument you can see there’s a heartbeat under the churning gears. In the context of the album all the tracks really work together harmoniously, a pretty amazing feat considering these songs were recorded and released over the span of three years. There is a intentional, common vernacular across the tracks that melds it together quite nicely. Despite the plasticity on top, this debut album is artificial intelligence exuding relatable emotion and infectious energy. I don’t know what’s more human than that.

Proof: Lonely (w/ Steve Aoki Feat. ISÁK & Omar Nior) / Darkside (Feat. Au/Ra & Tomine Harket)

Alina Baraz - The Color Of You Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

The soothing and sultry voice of Alina Baraz can seriously sing to me the phone book and I would rock back and forth in a happy place. The world was first introduced to Alina Baraz when she teamed with Danish producer Galimatias for their euphoric, synth-pop joint EP Urban Flora. For her first solo project Baraz goes for a bit more of a stipped down sound which allows her soulful vocals to shine as they whisk you away. This enduring and intimate album shows the future is bright for the singer and her low lit music.

Proof: Fallin / I Don’t Even Know Why Though // Bonus: Feels Right

Chloe x Halle - The Kids Are Alright Genre: alt-R&B

Sisters Chloe & Halle’s talents caught the attention of none other than Beyoncé who scooped them up for her label and now their unique and unpredictable form of R&B is catching the attention of the masses. The sisters broke out on the scene with 2016’s Sugar Symphony EP, followed up by the YouTube released mixtape The Two of Us. This debut album has been in the works since before that original EP was released and with most of the production handled by them is a true culmination of their hard work to get to this point. The hard work is already paying dividends with two GRAMMY nominations including “Best New Artist”.

Proof: Everywhere / Galaxy

CHVRCHES - Love Is Dead Genre: Synth-Pop

On their third album, Love Is Dead, for the first time Scottish band CHVRCHES used outside producers on a record. The result is a bit more expansive of a sound for the group then before. The moments of emotion and energy seem a bit more unhinged (in a good way). Lauren also adjusted her writing techniques from a metaphor heavy style that would allude to subjects to a much more straightforward vocabulary addressing things head on. It’s still the same identifiable vernacular of the band CHVRCHES but with a few new art pieces up on the walls.

Proof: Never Say Die / Miracle

Don Diablo - FUTURE Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

Ten years after his debut, Dutch producer shows by he’s been a sought after producer for nearing twenty years. FUTURE shows how the producer has been able to craft entertaining and contagious pop melodies that resonate ohh so well.

Proof: Take Her Place (Feat. A R I Z O N A) / Found You (Feat. Bully Songs)

J.I.D. - DiCaprio 2 Genre: Hip Hop

J. Cole signee J.I.D. Didn’t waste time following up his 2017 debut album The Never Story. The Atlanta rapper already had a following established from independently released mixtapes and EPs before last year. The Never Story exposed to a wider audience this newcomer has got some lyrical skills and a silky, smooth flow, DiCapro 2 (a sequel to his 2015 DiCaprio EP) only exacerbates the exposure to his talent even more.

Proof: 151 Rum / Tiiied (Feat. 6LACK & Ella Mai)

JMSN - Velvet Genre: R&B / Soul / Funk

The shape shifting R&B of Michigan singer JMSN has been one of my favorites since his 2012 revelation of a debut †Priscilla† (which topped my 2012 albums list). His first album and EP were very much in the hazy low lit alt-R&B sound similar to The Weeknd and How To Dress Well. JMSN then molded his sound to a more straightforward form of R&B for an album. Again, not being complacent, his two following albums transformed again this time to sound like a jazz assemble backing a soul singer. Well, JMSN takes another left turn with Velvet incorporating some sultry funk. With dripping base lines and bouncing synth keys this is JMSN’s most vibrant sound yet.

Proof: Levy / Drama

Kylie Minogue - Golden Genre: Synth-Pop / Country

I am admittedly not a big country fan, and some more die hard country listeners my roll their eyes at me calling this album country. Kylie Minogue is going on 30 years in the industry and mostly been a danceable, synth-pop artist. For her fortieth album Golden, Kylie went to Nashville and incorporated country and bluegrass music tendencies into her sound; something that could be a disastrous ambition. I guess you don’t just luck into making music for three decades, because this interesting mixture is pulled off beautifully. Golden is an effective and innovative mash up of electronic music, synth-pop and country in a surprisingly delicious cocktail.

Proof: Stop Me From Falling / Every Little Part of Me

Logic - YSIV Genre: Hip Hop

With one of the most lethal flows in the game, Logic dropped off two projects in 2018. First was the follow up of his Bobby Tarantino Mixtape. The second was his fourth LP, but this time reviving his Young Senatra persona from mixtapes earlier in his career (the last one came out in 2013). YSIV or as it stands for “Young Sinatra 4” is another verbal assault by the talented rapper and one of his most confident records to date. The robust use of skits and interludes has always been a gripe of mine with Logic albums, and gladly they are noticeably absent here. No matter what persona he dons, Logic has some of the most ferocious lyrical prowess in the industry and he loves to show it off.

Proof: The Return / 1000 Miles & Running (Feat. Wale & John Lindahl)

MNEK - Language Genre: R&B / Electronic

Before this debut album was released British singer/producer/songwriter MNEK already had multiple GRAMMY nominations from his songwriting and production work with artists including Kylie Minogue, MØ, Madonna, Zara Larsson, Julia Michaels, Dua Lipa, Beyoncé and a whole slew of others. With the success of his stellar 2015 EP Small Talk he became a sought after commodity in the industry. For his debut album MNEK wanted to make a statement of who the man behind the boards and pen is. Language is an exhilarating listen front to back and an exciting mixture of intersecting genres.

Proof: Tongue / Colour (Feat. Hailee Steinfield)

SOB X RBE - GANGIN / GANGIN II Genre: Hip Hop

It’s been a busy year for the new hip hop foursome from Vallejo. They dropped their self titled Mixtape in 2017 to catch the attention of Kendrick who put a song by them on the Black Panther soundtrack. Striking while the iron was hot, the group released their debut album in February and their Sophomore album (or an extension of their debut) only a few months later in September. Growing up the Bay Area the group is obviously influenced heavily by the Hyphy movement. You can hear elements of influences from E-40, Keak da Sneak, The Team and others in that Hyphy sound; but with a contemporary twist.

Proof: Anti Social / Can’t // North Vallejo / Made It

Superorganism - Superorganism Genre: Indie Pop

Eight member group from various countries formed the band Superorganism in 2017. Together they would send tracks through Facebook and WhatsApp and each member would add some layers on to it. The concoction is a dense, multifaceted form of unique pop music. The various layers of instruments, synths, and samples intertwine to create a mesh of melodies that bounce along gracefully despite their mass.

Proof: Everybody Wants To Be Famous / Reflections on the Sun

Tove Stryke - Sway Genre: Synth-Pop

This short and sweet album by The Swedish singer is her strongest to date. There’s a subtle growing of confidence I can see from this album to its predecessor 2015’s Kiddo. Despite its short run time, Sway makes quite an enjoyable impression.

Proof: Sway / Mistakes

Typhoon - Offerings Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

American rock band Typhoon follow up 2013’s White Lighter with their fourth album here. Offerings is a moving and powerful affair. Most of the tracks start off mellow and sweet with moments of crashing guitars and unfiltered emotion bursting out.

Proof: Rorschach / Darker

VanJess - Silk Canvas Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

The sisters of first generation Nigerian immigrants started singing covers on YouTube before first getting signed way back in 2011. Their debut was worth the weight, Silk Canvas is some infectious forward thinking R&B with subtle nostalgia baked in. You can see influences from the likes of Rihanna, SWV, TLC and others.

Proof: Touch The Floor (Feat. Masego) / Best Believe

Bonus:

Major Lazer - Major Lazer Essentials Genre: Electronic / Dance

Since their debut album Major Lazer has been one of my favorites. Now three albums, multiple EPs and a couple mixtapes later, Diplo has announced a new album in 2019 (10 years after their debut) will be the end of the project for the immediate future as he pursues his other many projects. With this announcement Diplo released this compilation album of greatest hits and a handful of new tracks. My first thought when I gave my original spin through this collection was “damn, Major Lazer just had some gd hits!” Listening in one place to the standout tracks from 2009 to now is an exhilarating and entertaining experience centered around diversity and overflowing passion.

Proof: Blow That Smoke (Feat. Tove Lo) / Know No Better (Feat. Travis Scott, Camila Camila & Quavo) / Watch Out For This (Feat. Busy Signal, The Flexican & FS Green) / Tied Up (Feat. Mr Eazi, RAYE & Jake Gosling)

The List:

Last One Out: NoMBe - They Might’ve Even Loved Me Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock / R&B

German born singer NoMBe is here to seduce you and I say you should let him. They Might’ve Even Loved Me is a steamy collection of rock songs about love, sex and navigating through life. NoMBe’s vocals are subdued and sly enacting a sense of mystery. The backdrops are built on groovy bass lines and plucky guitar riffs meant to get your foot tapping and hips slowly moving. I can see obvious influences from The Killers, Kings of Leon and Prince. Deeper down I also see hints of Blood Orange, Twin Shadow and D’Angelo.

Proof: Young Hearts / Freak Like Me / Jump Right In / Sex

35. Rejjie Snow - Dear Anne Genre: Hip Hop

Hip Hop is usually about being forceful and having to reach out and grab what society has built roadblocks for you to attain. Irish rapper Rejjie Snow is the opposite of that. His subtle, jazzy production is minimalist and doesn’t directly ask for your attention. This allows the mellow, but skilled flow of Rejjie to take the lead. I wouldn’t label Rejjie’s rapping as slow, but it moves at a comfortable and steady pace and doesn’t need to be unnecessarily sped up. With the vibe being so well established, the listener can now comfortably hang onto every lyric which are well written in matters of love and maturing in life we all can identify with.

Proof: Spaceships (Feat. Ebenezer) / Egyptian Luvr (Feat. Aminé & Dana Williams) / Charlie Brown (Feat. Anna of the North) / Annie (Feat. Jesse Boykins III)

34. Kelela - TAKE ME A_PART THE REMIXES Genre: alt-R&B / Electronic

Kelela’s debut album Take Me Apart was one of my favorite albums last year. Her sound that was a mixture of Aaliyah, late 80s Janet Jackson laid over production that would fit on a Massive Attack album was such an enjoyable smooth and sultry listen. Her strong vision of her projects as a whole make for a cohesive listen. That strong vision carries over to this robust remix compilation that is not your average remix album. The diverse range of producers offering remixes make for a dynamic listen that teleport you to various new environments throughout. Kelela was part of the process curating this album with each of the producers, even recording some new vocals here and there if needed. It’s that devotion to her craft that makes me confident Kelela will be a long time.

Proof: KAYTRANADA_WAITIN_115 BPM / LSDXOXO_TRUTH OR DARE_123 BPM / NÍDIA_BLUE LIGHT_123 BPM / BADSISTA_BETTER_125 BPM (Feat. Linn da Quebrada)

33. Whethan* - Life of a Wallflower, Pt. 1 Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

The most impressive skill in electronic’s wonderkid Whethan’s arsenal is his ability to construct a diverse range of sounds within a genre that usually leads to being in niches. Since he first debuted in 2015 at the age of 16, Whethan had been a producer chameleon making tracks that don’t sounds like the last two or three or anything he released before had. Before this debut album was released he already got to work with the likes of Flux Pavilion, Charli XCX, Elohim, Ashe, MAX & Dua Lipa so his clout is rapidly growing in the industry. That’s from his ability to mold and morph melodies to his will. With apparently another album set to be released on 2019, the young Chicago producer is riding this accent with no end point in sight.

Proof: Radar (Feat. HONNE) / Top Shelf (Feat. Bipolar Sunshine) / Superlove (Feat. Oh Wonder) / Be Like You (Feat. Broods) // Bonus: High (Feat. Dua Lipa)

32. Kali Uchis - Isolation Genre: R&B / Soul

The soulful, vintage sound of Colombian-American Kali Uchis has an appealing and comforting nostalgia while also feeling contemporary and innovative. You can see her influences of 1960s Soul and doo-wop music as well as traditional Colombian music as the vertebrae of her stripped-back sound but also see how she’s molding it to her will to fit in 2018. Her tender voice can bounce along a track so gracefully in her unique melodies creating a dynamic experience despite a minimalist pallet.

Proof: Just A Stranger (Feat. Steve Lacy) / Tyrant (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Dead To Me / After The Storm (Feat. Tyler, The Creator & Bootsy Collins)

31. Mother Mother - Dance and Cry Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Canadian Rock band Mother Mother’s sound is an exciting coalesce of Modest Mouse, Arcade Fire and My Chemical Romance. Dance and Cry is a touching record of heartbreak and the hope afterwords. I admittedly haven’t listened to an entire project from Mother Mother before this, their seventh album, so I can’t really offer much history or how their sound may have evolved. However, this was a pleasant surprise when I first took it for a spin that kept surprising me every listen after, so I will personally be paying more attention to the band after.

Proof: Dance and Cry / Get Up / So Down / It’s Alright

30. Vince Staples - FM! Genre: Hip Hop

Long Beach rapper Vince Staples marches to the beat of his own drum with a IDGAF attitude. Seventeen months after releasing my personal favorite album of 2017, Vince is back with a new project; I’m not sure what to call it. Is FM! an album, a mixtape, just a recorded radio show? The thing is Vince could really care less about those questions, he just makes what he wants to. Put together as one radio show where the tracks abruptly end, there’s hosts playing stupid games with callers, quick commercial breaks for other rapper’s projects, the project comes out as an odd but accurate snapshot of 2018. With a run time under 30 minutes this album is like a shot of adrenaline and ends before any lethargic coming down. Staples verses are as strong as ever with the same bouncy beats we’ve known him to find to spit over with his normal laid back vigor.

Proof: Outside! / Relay / FUN! (Feat./ E-40) / No Bleedin (Feat. Kamaiyah)

29. St. Lucia - Hyperion Genre: Synth-Pop

South African frontman and main showrunner of the New York band St. Lucia returns with his lush and decadent pop music meant to overload your senses. St. Lucia has vaulted to the top of my personal bands list since their debut 2013’s When The Night; which led to me seeing them live 4 times in less than 24 months. Hyperion has a little less “pop” for me then it’s two predecessors, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a joyous piece of tropical, electro-Pop. There’s even a few new wrinkles, like some George Michael inspired Gospel infusion on “Paradise Is Waiting” or the hints of 80′s rock in the margins of “Walking Away”.

Proof: A Brighter Love / Paradise is Waiting / Walking Away / China Shop

28. Joji - BALLADS 1 Genre: alt-R&B

Japanese singer Joji has come a long way from making a silly internet meme to this surprising debut album. Originally known for starting the “Harlem Shake” meme on his YouTune channel; forever making the actual dance from the 90’s forgotten. Sometime a couple years ago he decided to take music as a serious venture. There was some aspects I liked of his 2017 debut EP In Tongues but overall there was something not quite clicking for me. The seemed to be too much focus on the air underwater vibe and not enough on the song crafting. Well that seemed to be ironed out here with a beautiful debut album that has some heart wrenching moments. “SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK” was one of my favorite songs of 2018, and shows the once YouTube jokester can really dig deep and pull out raw emotion on a song.

Proof: SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK / TEST DRIVE / WANTED U / NO FUN // Bonus: SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK (Loud Luxury Remix)

27. ayokay - In The Shape Of A Dream Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Future Bass

Los Angeles based (Detroit born) DJ ayokay drops off his debut LP of sunkissed Electronic music. ayokay is not afraid to deal with some sadness in his songs, but they maintain a danceable vibe, emulating the mask we all wear in public over our emotions. Who’s ready to cry in the club with me?

Proof: Sleepless Nights (Feat. Nightly) / Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend (Feat. Katie Pearlman) / Stay With Me (Feat. Jeremy Zucker) / Half Past You (Feat. Future Jr.)

26. Tash Sultana - Flow State Genre: Indie Pop / R&B / Soul

Step into the lush and picturesque world created by the Australian multi-instrumentalists that is Tash Sultana. Sultana is a solo jam band as all fifteen instruments on the record are played by Tash, who utilizes looping programs to build these vast microcosms of sound. With the sultry vocals the sound is like Erykah Badu mixed with Aaliyah mixed with The Roots. The smooth vibes and dense backdrops take over on Flow State, a record that’s meant to get lost in.

Proof: Big Smoke / Cigarettes / Salvation / Mystik

25. Janelle Monáe - Dirty Computer Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

Janelle Monáe is on quite a multimedia run right now and I don’t think it will slow down anytime soon. The singer/actor hasn’t technically won an EGOT award yet, but I see her flirting with the achievement soon. Already in two Oscar for Best Picture nominated movies “Hidden Figures” and “Moonlight” (the latter winning), the accomplished singer shows we are only seeing the beginning of her talents. The “G” in the EGOT might not be far off with probably her most comprehensive and impressive album to date Dirty Computer gaining some GRAMMY nominations: including Album of the Year. Dirty Computer is also my personal favorite project from Janelle. She describes it as finding her true authentic self and expressing that more effectively to the world and I can very much see that. She also worked on this album with the late genius Prince before his passing and you can very much see his influences throughout. There’s the airy dancing synths emulating a bit of the later Prince from Art Official Age on “Crazy, Classic, Life”. “Make Me Feel” is dripping with funk similar to something off of 1999. Album closer “Americans” utilizes a empowering soulful keyboard riff that could be taken straight from any of the albums with The Revolution. Despite the heavy influence, Janelle doesn’t use it as a crutch but as a tool to take her sound to a new level. She never loses her strong sense of self though the project, I feel we are finally peeling some of the protective exoskeleton that is Janelle Monáe and learning more about the beautiful and inspirational person beneath.

Proof: Crazy, Classic, Life / Make Me Feel / Like That / Americans

24. Alison Wonderland - Awake / Awake (The Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

We all are just trying to find our “Happy Place”. Hopefully the therapeutic burst of emotion that is Awake can help Australian DJ Alison Wonderland (real name Alexandra) find her own. With her sophomore album, I feel Alexandra has really found her voice and that’s with the keen ability to be able to personify the struggles of relationships, self doubt and mental illness for her fans. Usually, emotion within Electronic music is viewed with a level of plasticity to it. There should be no doubt in the genuine passion in Alexandra’s form of electronic music. She may think her admirers should “find someone that’s easier” but I prefer the emotional depth and honesty.

Proof: No / Easy / Church / Awake // Okay (Blush Remix) / No (Paces Remix) / Awake (KRANE Remix) / Easy (Kill Paris Remix)

23. Charli XCX - Pop 2 [Mixtape] Genre: Synth-Pop

Technically released in 2017, but late enough it didn’t make my list last year and got pushed to 2018, Charli returned with her second mixtape in nine months and, for me, my favorite project of hers since her debut album; possibly of her career. Pop 2 is a futuristic electro-pop record where genres are fluid and expression is currency. The thing I feel Charli has sort of unlocked on this project from her past is an ability to really convey emotion through this mechanical pallet she builds her music with. She’s always had a level of passion within her music but outside of a youthful lust and an empowering “fuck everything” the rest of the emotions expressed always felt they were being viewed behind a protective sheet of plexiglass. Songs like “Backseat”, “Lucky” “Tears” and the sneakily genius “Track 10” really show an ability to bring more emotional depth in her songs. Whether it’s in mixtape form (Charli expresses she feels more freedom with mixtapes) or official LPs Charli is showing a growth and maturity in her craft that has me excited for what she may bring in the future.

Proof: Backseat (Feat. Carley Rae Jepson) / Out Of My Head (Feat. Tove Lo & ALMA) / Unlock It (Feat. Kim Petras & Jay Park) / Track 10

22. Madeaux - Burn Genre: Electronic / Dance

I suggest a good stretch, being well hydrated and grabbing a towel before pressing play on this exhilarating whirlwind of melody calisthenics. The official debut LP from the American producer takes the listener of a dark, immersive experience in a world of non-stop kinetic energy and organized chaos. To all the critiques of Electronic music that say it all sounds the same I kindly point them to this album because there isn’t another producer making house music quite like this out there. Burn is a thrilling, fast-paced ride that doesn’t allow much space for the listener to take a breath until it’s finished. I suggest having a post-workout recovery shake handy for after.

Proof: Like A Model (Feat. Poter Elvinger & WILLS) / Run with It (Feat. Tommy Lee Sparta) / Lights Low (Feat. OG Maco, ALGORY & JRich ENT) / Sweat (Feat. Class Actress & Black Atlass)

21. Twin Shadow* - Caer Genre: Alternative / Indie Pop / R&B

Twin Shadow is an artist who has a recognizable, identifiable sound, yet every album of his also sounds different then the other. His debut, 2010s Forget is a disorienting, hazy dream. A unique mixture of R&B, Alternative music covered in haunting synths and distortions; all with an 80’s nostalgia. 2012’s Confess continues the foggy 80’s vernacular but with a more neon light piercing through. The pounding drums and scratchy guitar riffs are more attention grabbing, and the vocals more pronounced. 2015’s Eclipse was a bit of a statement piece. A whole project of stadium anthems meant to be shouted with vigor and emotion. Caer takes a step back on the arena filler to a more resemble the subtle tone of his debut. Except, the 80’s nostalgia isn’t such a driving factor. This is the project by Twin Shadow that sounds the most like the year it was created in, yet still sounds like any other beautiful Twin Shadow record. A natural progression by the versatile artist.

Proof: Saturdays (Feat. HAIM) / Sympathy (Feat. Rainsford) / When You’re Wrong / Too Many Colors

20. Santigold - I Don’t Want: The Gold Fire Sessions [Mixtape] Genre: Indie Pop / Dancehall

Impossible to be confined in one box, Santigold continues her genre hoping she’s made a career of. I Don’t Want is a dancehall inspired mixtape she worked on for the majority during a two week session with the main producer Dre Skull. By stripping the album moniker, there’s a looser and improvised feeling to the project that lends itself well to the culture it is inspired by. You feel Santigold’s admiration for the Afro-Caribbean influenced sound which makes the joy expressed on the album transparently genuine and infectious.

Proof: Run the Road / I Don’t Want / Why Me / Don’t Blame Me (Feat. Shenseea)

19. Matoma - One In a Million Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Norwegian producer Matoma wants to cast a wide net with his sophomore album here. Both musically and audience-wise. One In A Million is an eclectic electronic music album that not only crosses sub-genres but crosses oceans with its worldly inspirations. From Synth-pop, to trap, to Tropical House, to Reggaeton, Matoma clearly wants to show off his range and diverse interests. One of the best songs of the year was the gospel inspired “Sunday Morning”. I dare anyone to know breakout in uncontrollable dancing when the bellowing hook of that song comes in.

Proof: Sunday Morning (Feat. Josie Dunne) / Lights Go Down (Feat. James Newman) / False Alarm (Feat. Becky Hill) / Heartbeats (Feat. Nina Nesbitt) // Bonus: Sunday Morning [Zookëper Remix] Feat. Josie Dunne

18. RÜFÜS DU SOL - SOLACE Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

When lead singer Tyrone croons for someone to take him to a new place on “New Sky” I can’t help but think “dude we already are somewhere new”. Because that’s exactly what the Australian trio’s atmospheric music does, whisks me away on a magic carpet of melodic keyboards, floating synths, pulsating drums and haunting vocal samples. Their previous album, Bloom was a breakthrough for them and their unassuming electronic music to a more worldwide audience. SOLACE takes an even more self-effacing and introspective approach, but should only help them continue to gain admirers.

Proof: New Sky / Lost in My Mind / No Place / Underwater

17. Nao - Saturn Genre: alt-R&B / Neo-Soul

The delicate voice of Nao returns with her smooth and tender sophomore album. Nao’s debut album For All We Know was one of my top five albums of 2016. Saturn picks up right where it’s predecessor left off but with a slight pumping of the breaks. Saturn take a bit more of a traditional R&B approach but in the same pallet Nao has been working on her whole career. The subtle infusion of electronic music still is present building an enthralling drama across the album. The slower tempo leads to a slightly more intimate feeling on this album then before. In the early 2000s R&B was sent to the margins a bit but with 2012’s House Of Balloons and channel.ORANGE being the inflection point R&B has been growing again in the mainstream. Artists like London’s Nao are in the forefront of R&B’s ascent.

Proof: Another Lifetime / Make It Out Alive (Feat. SiR) / Curiosity / Drive and Disconnect

16. Said The Sky - Wide-Eyed Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

American producer Said The Sky drops his first ever full length project that was a long time coming. For those familiar with his early work there is quite a progression from his more dubstep beginnings to this more melodic vernacular. Being a trained pianist Said The Sky’s backing usually starts with a piano riff. Early on this piano riff was used more as a contrasting element; a calming and tender character to then get smacked around by the boisterous and raucous dubstep. Now the piano is utilized more for it’s rhythm as the backbone of the track; a strong complimentary piece rather then contrasting. This is an evolution I personally feel for the better here leading to a sophisticated and potent electronic album, brooding with a surprising amount of emotion and introspection.

Proof: Show & Tell (Feat. Claire Ridgely) / All I Got (w/ Kwesi) / Over Getting Over You (Feat. Matthew Koma) / Superstar (w/ Dabin Feat. Linn)

15. My Brightest Diamond - A Million and One Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

Multi-Instrumentalist My Brightest Diamond has been a shapeshifter her entire career and that continues here with her fifth album. Starting out as a classically trained violinist and then self teaching herself more and more instruments and incorporating new genres in her sound every new project. For A Million and One she takes on Electronic/Dance music in a subtle and euphoric way. Most of the tracks are mid to slower tempo with free flowing synths and and 808 kicks. More dynamic moments are strategically planted throughout like the slow building “Champagne” or the explosive “Supernova”. A Million and One is an subtle, spectacle piece of electro-pop, that straps the listener in and shots them into the stars.

Proof: It’s Me On The Dance Floor / Champagne / Supernova / White Noise

14. Meg Myers* - Take Me To The Disco Genre: Alternative / Rock

I don’t really know how I happened upon Meg Myers music back in 2012, before her debut EP even was released, but I sure am grateful I did. Following the path of her career from that 2012 EP Daughter In The Choir to now has been quite rewarding. Every year new music has been released by Meg the project always is one of my favorites for the year, but Take Me To The Disco is finally her letting all the outside pressure and expectations go and just rocking the fuck out. Switching labels and making music separate from her long time producer Doctor Rosen Rosen, Meg had a newly found freedom on this record which led to a ride full of high, lows and moments of raw unfiltered emotion. Part of Meg’s unique skill when crafting a song is her ability to go from a soft, raspy and unassuming tone to a passion filled roar in seconds. The music knew when to follow suit as well with the main enclosures being acoustical and warm environments with alcoves of thunderous drums and crashing guitars. Whether it’s tranquil moment of vulnerability or impacting pockets of intensity and fierceness, Meg has a newly discovered level of confidence and power.

Proof: Numb / Tear Me To Pieces / Jealous Sea / Done

13. MØ - Forever Neverland Genre: Synth-Pop

For some, the ascension of MØ may have seemed pretty sudden. The mega success that was Major Lazer & DJ Snake’s “Lean On” featuring the Danish singer came a bit out of nowhere to some. I smuggly could say I predicted such an explosion since my introduction or her on Avicii’s “Dear Boy” followed up closely by her 2013 debut EP Bikini Daze. MØ didn’t feel a need to rush things despite the iron being hot as shit and took her time following up her 2014 full length album No Mythologies To Follow. Instead she dropped stellar one-off singles “Kamikaze” “Final Song” “Drum” and “Nights With You” before finally releasing last years EP When I Was Young. Forever Neverland continues on the maturity in her music desolated on her EP of last year. The hooks are still catchy as shit, her sound still has an ability to make you want to get up and move, but there is a further depth in her songs. MØ’s voice always was expressive and emotive but there was also a glossy surface layer that seems to have been stripped away over the years. She now has the confidence to let her voice scratch and wain a bit when a line carries more emotional weight.

Proof: Way Down / I Want You / Beautiful Wreck / Red Wine (Feat. Empress Of)

12. Elohim - Elohim Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

The mysterious Elohim has became a go-to collaborator for electronic music projects over the last few years. From Louis The Child, Oliver, Ekali, The Glitch Mob and others, Elohim’s name would pop up; usually on the album’s best track. Her soft and delicate voice always worked great as a juxtaposition to the often kinetic backgrounds. In her solo music, she is her own producer and she shows she is more than just a featured artist but also a contemporary to the other Electronic producers. Elohim is a diverse and incredibly dynamic piece, which surprises the listener with unexpected vocal samples or instrument riffs used in sophisticated ways. Whether is a mariachi horn, trumpet, violin, guitar, or just odd vocal cadences looped, Elohim has developed creative and unique techniques in her production that make a familiar yet singular sound.

Proof: The Wave / Sleepy Eyes (w/ Whethan) / Fuck Your Money / Half Love // Bonus: Eclipse / Connect (w/ Skrillex)

11. Fakear - All Glow Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

French producer Fakear is a newer discovery for me but boy and I glad I found his atmospheric electronic music. Fakear will be quickly compared to ODESZA and the similarities in their sounds are definitely apparent. However, the French DJ’s harmonious music has a bit more of an airy bounce, with some Tropical House infusion. The electronic genre is having a bit of a moment right now yet Fakear is still relatively not well know in the States. I don’t really see that lasting too long though as more find his music.

Proof: Something Wonderful (Feat. Ana Zimmer) / Lost In Time (Feat. Polo & Pan, Noraa & Clement Bazin) / Sacred Feminine (Feat. Ibrahim Maslouf) / Vision (Feat. Claire Laffut)

10. Pusha-T - DAYTONA Genre: Hip Hop

The Clipse debut album Lord Willin’ came out my freshman year of high school and was a very important album for me. Label issues unfortunately led to more mixtapes than albums released by the brother duo before Malice left the group. Luckily Pusha would eventually find himself on Kanye’s record label as his new home. His first two albums released on the record label were both good, but there must be something in the Wyoming air during the recording of this stellar album. As the first of five Kanye West produced albums released during the “Wyoming Sessions” no one really knew what to expect. Kanye’s erratic behavior leading up to the release left a lot of people side eyeing the whole group of projects. Then about 36 seconds into the opening track “If You Know You Know” when after a fiery verse from Pusha, the industrial beat drops, everyone gets an unexpected slap in the face. This is still one of the best producers in the world and we have one of the best lyricists rapping heat over this production. DAYTONA is quite the 20 minute tornado of an album. A focused and concise offering that does what it needs to do and leaves efficiently. Unfortunately, the rest of the “Wyoming Sessions” albums will be a bit of a mixed bag and Kanye’s erratic behavior on continues causing concern for his mental well being. DAYTONA shines bright as the most cohesive and sturdy of those albums with “If You Know You Know” being the best song to come from the whole session. With GRAMMY nominations and ending up at the top of many writers “Year End Lists” it’s time Pusha finally gets his shine Lord WIllin’ seemed to promise, only 16 years later.

Proof: If You Know You Know / The Games We Play / Come Back Baby / Santeria / Infrared

9. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative / Synth-Pop

Through their first two albums, The 1975 was a band I enjoyed, but also wanted to enjoy more then I actually did. Their 2013 self titled debut album was an entertaining and engaging soiree of synth-pop and alternative music as a new aged love child of The Killers and My Chemical Romance. There was a definite growth and increased dexterity in their second album, 2016’s I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, as the same influences are present but with a sprinkling of seduction and soul. What always took me out of their projects though was their abundance of influences often working against them. The projects missed a level of connectivity I desire. I appreciated the daring nature of the band to explore but some of those swings didn't feel fleshed out enough to connect completely in the context of the albums. When I first heard one of my favorite songs of 2018 “Love It If We Made It”, I thought something seemed different. It seems the band has finally discovered the missing ingredient; or maybe found the excess ingredient(s) to leave out. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is a masterful mixture of experiences and influences with a message really cemented in 2018. The experimentations are a bit more radical, but very strategic and only help build up the motif of the whole album. You can still hear the underlying emo-rockers heartbeat from their debut but this time ran through a Bon Iver inspired auto-tune. The themes of how technology can dictate our lives for better or worse give the whole album a context for any listener to identify with. Songs like “Settle Down” and “Somebody Else” from their first two albums were still in 2018 go-to songs for me; the talent was always there. Seeing the band develop and evolve to make this elaborate project is quite the feat to be respected and admired.

Proof: Give Yourself A Try / Love It If We Made It / I Like America & America Likes Me / Sincerity Is Scary / It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

8. 3LAU - Ultraviolet / Ultraviolet (Remixed) Genre: Electronic / Progressive House / Dance

It’s been a long time coming for American DJ 3LAU (Justin David Blau) to finally release this blistering debut. First winning a remix competition for a Tiësto song in 2011, 3LAU made a name for himself over the years as a remix and mashup DJ; intermittently dropping one-off singles here and there. Ultraviolet shows the wait was well worth it. Being a multi-instrumentalist, 3LAU developed his own manipulation techniques of his instrument riffs and vocal samples creating lush melodic environments within his music. The result is a picturesque form of house music that can easily whisk you away in it’s vast, sparkling habitats.

Proof: Touch (Feat. Carly Paige) / Fire (w/ Said The Sky Feat. NÉONHÈART) / Walk Away (Feat. Luna Aura) / Star Crossed / You Want More (Feat. MAX) // Touch [Zeds Dead Remix] (Feat. Carly Paige) / On My Own [3LAU Electro Remix] (Feat. Nevve) / Star Crossed [3LAU DnB Remix] / Walk Away [Hibell Remix] (Feat. Luna Aura) / Fire [Paris Biohm Remix] (w/ Said The Sky Feat. NÉONHÈART)

7. Lykke Li - so sad so sexy Genre: Pop / R&B

Since her debut album in 2008, the vulnerable music of Lykke Li has been a staple in my headphones. I have enjoyed her delicate voice, always ripped with so much emotion matching the impacting lyrics dealing with love and heartbreak. Li’s previous album, I Never Learn was an onslaught of slow and gorgeous, stadium-pop ballads meant to be felt while singing along with at the top of your lungs. The listless themes are continued but this time the album’s expression is more with a glossy, sexy R&B persona; a change I personally am really feeling. With hints of The Weeknd and Rihanna as influences so sad so sexy is Lykke Li’s most sensual sound, one that suits her unique voice and songwriting well.

Proof: hard rain / deep end / sex money feelings die / so sad so sexy / better alone

6. Her - Her Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock/ Soul

Starring an upcoming tragedy in the face, the smooth French duo didn’t waiver or turn to negativity. Instead they focused on life and love. With one of the duo diagnosed with a terminal cancer, together Victor and the ill Simon carefully plotted out their debut album. They released two EPs the previous two years with standout tracks including “Five Minutes”, “Quite Like” and “Swim” which served as a strong introduction to the world, but Simons unavoidable death at age 27 was in August of last year. With the careful pre-planning Victor was able to finish the debut album in his best friend’s memory. Her is a sultry and warm affair. Simon’s bouncy guitar playing, Victors ominous key tones with both of their soft yet confident vocals create a free flowing and sexy sound that is very gracious and admiring of its female muse. Every song has an understatedness to it while it subtly exudes its passion. It’s unknown if Victor will carry on with Her without his best friend, but I am glad they were able to add this exclamation point to Simon’s life.

Proof: Five Minutes / Blossom Roses / Neighborhood / Wanna Be You / Swim (Feat. ZéFire)

5. Bishop Briggs* - Church Of Scars Genre: R&B / Soul / Pop

London born, with Scottish heritage, Bishop Briggs bursts on the scene with this debut album like a strategic boxer. Starting every song with subtle body blows to connect with a potent haymaker every chorus. Her main weapon is a dominant voice that every chorus she lets loose to acts as an imposing yet engaging flex of emotion and power. Born Sarah McLaughlin, Briggs took the name of her parents Scotland hometown as her stage name to not be confused with the well known Canadian singer whose music you hear on sad commercials about puppies. McLaughlin moved around in her childhood from London to Tokyo to Hong Kong to LA and has picked up an amalgamation of influences to use at her disposal in her music. One of the biggest musical influence apparent is her cerebral use of gospel music. Utilized as a form of strength and command at every hard hitting chorus drop which gives room for her tremendous voice to punch your ear drums like a boxing bag.

Proof: Tempt My Trouble / White Flag / River / Hallowed Ground / The Fire

4. DJDS - Big Wave More Fire Genre: Synth-Pop / R&B / Electronic

Timing can be a fickle thing. Sometimes by the slimmest of margins it can go against you, or go in your favor. DJDS’s career seems to be capitalizing on some impeccable timing that is all going in their favor at the moment. First, back in 2016, while finishing up their sophomore album, the LA producing duo were invited to work on Kanye West’s The Life of Pablo album; eventually earning them a GRAMMY nomination. This monster co-sign would help open doors they never had open in their previous years making music. In the two years they spent making this album they collaborated with people that eventually would break out on their own including Empress Of, Amber Mark, Marco McKinnis and Khalid. Those two years are summed up in this fascinating piece of genre blending music. There are moments of bouncy hip hop, sinuous Synth-Pop, Soulful R&B, scenic Indie Pop and fist pumping electronic dance. Big Wave More Fire at times is as infectious as any other pop album and at times can be a bit artistically challenging to the listener, yet never loses its strong sense of place.

Proof: Trees On Fire (Feat. Amber Mark & Marco McKinnis) / Why Don’t You Come On (Feat. Empress Of & Khalid) / I Get By (Feat. Amber Mark & Vory) / Pick Me Up (Feat. Kelly Zutrau, Vic Mensa & Vory) / Falling (Kelly Zutrau & Marco McKinnis)

3. Kasbo* - Places We Don’t Know Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Future Bass

ODESZA is building quite a roster on their Foreign Family Collective label including the 23 year old Swedish producer Kasbo. With his debut album here, Kasbo shows he’s more than deserving of being part of this collective with this sonic display of dexterity in melody. Places We Don’t Know is an an album that knows it’s comfort zone and is confident enough to never deviate while also avoiding diluting itself. The glossy electronic textiles that stitch the album together track to track build a cohesiveness that makes it a front to back enjoyable experience; without any drop in quality filler. More exploration in the sound may be desired in future releases to avoid sounding stale, but in terms of a debut this pleasant project introduces him nicely.

Proof: Your Tempo / Aldrig Mer (Feat. TENDER) / Roots (Feat. Amanda Fondell) / Over You (Feat. Frida Sundemo) / Bleed It Out (Feat. Nea)

2. Jacob Banks* - Village Genre: R&B / Soul

The initial and most jarring entity you feel when you enter the universe that is Jacob Banks’ music is the gravitational pull that is his empowered voice. The British singer’s raspy and authoritative vocals can relay both a confident strength and introspective vulnerability in one tone. You are able to personally feel the emotion behind every note that leads to a compelling listen no matter how many times before you’ve heard the song playing.

Banks backs up his mighty voice with equally potent and diverse backings. Some of the songs come equipped with thunderous bass lines and percussions with light keys tap dancing among the turmoil. Some take a more straightforward approach with light and jazzy horns and funky grooves. Then some songs have transparent backdrops that almost go away completely, stripped down to a bare pallet for Jacob to command.

Whatever the situation Banks’ vocal prowess prevails. I predict the accent to continue and at a more exponential pace as more become familiar with the impressive singer.

Proof: Chainsmoking / Love Ain’t Enough / Prosecco / Be Good To Me (Feat. Seinabo Sey) / Unknown (To You)

1 Kendrick Lamar & Top Dawg Entertainment - Black Panther The Album - Music From And Inspired By [Motion Picture Soundtrack] Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

It’s probably getting pretty anticlimactic having Kendrick 1st or 2nd on my lists every year. But for the fourth year in a row Kendrick finds himself here again. Black Panther was one of 2018’s greatest cinematic achievements and smartly they looked to Kendrick to make a vivid and dynamic soundtrack to match.

Kendrick shows he has his finger on the pulse for Hip Hop and R&B in 2018 enlisting some of today’s best including The Weeknd, Vince Staples, Anderson .Paak, Travis Scott and of course members of his TDE crew ScHoolboy Q, Ab-Soul, SZA and others. He grabs some of today’s best up and comers with Khalid, Jorja Smith and SOB X RBE. Surprises us with a couple unexpected James Blake features. And finds some new international artists not very well known in Saudi, Babes Wodumo and an absolute fire verse from Yungen Blakrok.

I cannot express how perfect of a curated Soundtrack this is. The music is diverse enough to cast a wide net but also has an underlying and unifying vernacular throughout to make one cohesive project. The production is rooted in African sounds with poly-rhythmic percussion and themes inspired by African ancestry as well as themes incorporated from the movie itself. Kendrick may or may not have been physically there during most of these recordings but you can feel his direction and influence throughout. His impact is not overpowering or controlling either but rather a supportive and inspiring collaborator that keeps the various ships steered in the correct converging direction. When a o-k but also phoned-in verse by Future is really the album’s low point, you know you’ve done something right.

Most may point to the crowd pleasing (and for good reason) songs like “All The Stars” with SZA and “Pray For Me” with The Weeknd as their album highlights but mine is the sneaky vigorous Vince Staples and Yung Blakrok featured “Opps”, that has quite the bite with it’s bark.

My admiration for Lamar is well documents on this blog. He really is controlling the way progressive and impacting hip hop can grow. Drake may have the numbers, but Kendrick is the more commanding artistic virtuoso making music in 2018. Kendrick knows it damn well and uses T’Calla as a metaphor for his spot on the throne of Hip Hop in the album opener: “Because the king don’t cry, king don’t die, king don’t lie, king give heart, king get by, king don’t fall. Kingdom come, when I come, you know why…”

Proof: Kendrick Lamar & SZA - All The Stars / ScHoolboy Q, 2 Chainz, Saudi & Kendrick Lamar - X / Khalid & Swae Lee - The Ways / Vince Staples, Yugen Blakrok & Kendrick Lamar - Opps / Jorja Smith - I Am / Ab-Soul, Anderson .Paak & James Blake - Bloody Waters / Zacari & Babes Wodumo - Redemption / The Weeknd & Kendrick Lamar - Pray For Me

Others:

Good:

Above & Beyond - Common Ground, Action Bronson - White Bronco, Albin Lee Meldau - About You, Alessia Cara - The Pains of Growing, Allan Rayman - Harry Hand-On, alt-J - Reduxer, Ambrose Akinmusire - Origami Harvest, Aminé - ONEPOINTFIVE [Mixtape], Amnesia Scanner - Another Life, anaïs - before zero, Anderson East - Encore, Anderson .Paak - Oxnard, Ann Marie - Tripolar, Anne-Marie - Speak Your Mind, Apollo Brown & Joell Ortiz - Mona Lisa, Apollo Brown & Locksmith - No Question, Aquilo - ii, Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Baseu Hotel & Casino, Ariana Grande - Sweetener, A$AP Rocky - TESTING, Atmosphere - Mi Vida Loca, Audio Push - Cloud 909, August Greene - August Greene, Ava Luna - Moon 2, Bad Gyal - Worldwide Angel, Bas - Milky Way, Bazzi - COSMIC, Bea Miller - Aurora, Beach House - 7, Beacon - Gravity Pairs, Bebe Rexha - Expectations, Bekon - Get With The Times, Belly - IMMIGRANT, Big Red Machine - Big Red Machine, Birdman & Jacquees - Lost at Sea 2, Bishop Nehru - Elevators: Act I & II, Bishop Nehru - Emperor’s Nehru Groove [Mixtape], Black Atlass - Pain & Pleasure, The Black Eyed Peas - MASTERS OF THE SUN VOL. 1, Black Milk - FEVER, Black Thought & Salaam Remi - Streams of Thought Vol. 2, The Blaze - DANCEHALL, 6LACK - East Atlanta Love Letter, Blood Orange - Negro Swan, Blu & Nottz - Gods in the Spirit, Titans In The Flesh, B.o.B. - NAGA, Bob Moses - Battle Lines, Bobby V - Electrik, Boogie wit da Hoodie - International Artist, BØRNS - Blue Madonna, Boy Pablo - Soy Pablo, The Breeders - All Nerve, Brez - The Grl., BROCKHAMPTON - iridescence, BROCKHAMPTION - Saturation III, Buddy - Harlan & Alondra, Bun B - Return if the Trill, Camila Cabello - Camila, Camp Cope - How To Socialize & Make Friends, Capital Cities - Solarize, Car Seat Headrest - Twin Fantasy, THE CARTERS (Jay-Z & Beyoncé) - EVERYTHING IS LOVE, Cardi B - Invasion Of Privacy, Cat Power - Wanderer, City Girls - Girl Code, City Girls - PERIOD, Chance The Rapper & Jeremih - Merry Christmas Lil’ Mama Re-Wrapped [Mixtape], Chanti Darling - RNB, Vol. 1, Charlie Puth - Voicenotes, Chelsea Jade - Personal Best, Choker - Honeybloom, Chromeo - Head Over Heels, Chris Dave and the Drumhedz - Chris Dave and the Drumhedz, Christina Aguilera - Liberation, Christine and the Queens - Chris, Chrome Sparks - Chrome Sparks, Claptone - Fantast, Clean Bandit - What Is Love?, Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning, CloZee - EVasion, Col3trane - BOOT, Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel, Cozz - Effected, Craig David - The Time Is Now, Curren$y, Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist - Fetti, Cut Chemist - Die Cut, Cypress Hill - Elephants on Acid, CZARFACE & MF Doom - CZARFACE Meets Metal Face, Dashboard Confessional - Crooked Shadows, Dave East - P2, David Guetta - 7, Death Cab for Cutie - Thank You for Today, The Decemberists - I’ll Be Your Girl, Denzel Curry - TA13OO, Dillon Francis - WUT WUT, The Diplomats - Diplomatic Ties, Dirty Projectors - Limp Lit Prose, DJ Critical Hype - The DAMN. Chronic [Mixtape], DJ ESCO - Kolorblind, DJ Luke Nasty - Cruise Control, DJ Koze - Knock Knock, DJ Mustard & RJmrLA - The Ghetto, Django Django - Marble Skies, Dr. Octagon - Moosebumps: An Exploration Into Modern Day Horripilation, Domo Genesis & Evidence - Aren’t You Glad You’re U [Mixtape], Drake - Scorpion, Durand Jones & The Indications - Durand Jones & The Indications, Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs, E^ST - Life Ain’t Always Roses, EDEN - virtigo, Eligh - Last House on the Block, Elephante - Glass Mansion, Elephante - Glass Mansion Remixes, Ella Mai - Ella Mai, Elley Duhé - DRAGON MENTALITY, Emily Warren - Quiet Your Mind, Eric Bellinger - Eazy Call, Estelle - Lovers Rock, Everything Is Recorded - Everything Is Recorded, Evidence - Weather or Not, Excision - Apex, Exitmusic - The Recognitions, E-40 & B-Legit - Connected and Respected, E-40 - Gift Of Gab, Family of the Year - Goodbye Sunshine, Hello Nighttime, Father John Misty - God’s Favorite Customer, Fat Tony & J.KELR - Full Circle, Felix Jaehn - I, FELIX SANDMAN - EMOTIONS, Fischerspooner - Sir, First Aid Kit - Ruins, Flatbush Zombies - Vacation In Hell, Florence + The Machine - High As Hope, Francis & The Lights - Just For Us, Franz Ferdinand - Always Ascending, Freddie Gibbs - Freddie, Fre$h - frēsh•ism, Future & Juice WRLD - Future & Juice WRLD Present… WRLD ON DRUGS, G-Eazy - The Beautiful & Damned, Getter - Visceral, Ghostface Killah - The Lost Tapes, The Glitch Mob - See Without Eyes, The Go! Team - SEMICIRCLE, The Good, The Bad & The Queen - Merrie Land, Gorgon City - Escape, Gorillaz - The Now Now, Greta Van Fleet - Anthem of the Peaceful Army, GRIP - PORCH, Gunplay - ACTIVE, Half Waif - Lavender, Hinds - I Don’t Run, Hollie Cook - Vessel of Love, HONNE - Love Me / Love Me Not, How To Dress Well - The Anteroom, Hovvdy - Cranberry, Hybrid - Light of the Fearless, Ice Cube - Everything Corrupt, IDK - IDK & Friends :), Illa J - John Yancey, Illenium - Awake (Remixes), I’m With Her - See You Around, Imagine Dragons - Origins, The Internet - Hive Mind, Interpol - Marauderm, J. Cole - KOD, Jackie Hill Perry - Crescendo, Jacquees - 4275, Jacques Greene - mixtape [Mixtape], Jade Novah - All Blue, Jaden Smith - The Sunset Tapes: A Cool Tape Story [Mixtape], Jain - Souldier, James Bay - Electric Light, Janine - 99, Janine The Machine - High Places, Jauz - The Wise and The Wicked, Jay Park - Ask Bout Me, Jay Rock - Redemption, Jean Deaux - Krash, Jedi Mind Tricks - The Bridge and the Abyss, Jeff Tweedy - WARM, Jericho Jackson - Khrysis & Elzhi are Jericho Jackson, Jess Glynne - Always In Between, Jessie Reyez - Being Human In Public, Jim Jones - Wasted Talent, Joey Purp - QUARTERTHING, Jonas Blue - Blue, Jorja Smith - Lost & Found, Juice WRLD - Goodbye & Good Riddance, Jungle - For Ever, Justin Timberlake - Man of The Woods, Justine Skye - ULTRAVIOLET, Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour, Kalin White - Why You Still There?, Kamasi Washington - Heaven and Earth, Kanye West - ye, Kash Doll - Brat Mail [Mixtape], Kayzo - OVERLOAD, Keith Sweat - Playing For Keeps, Kevin Gate - Luca Brasi 3, Keys N Krates - Cura, K.Flay - Everywhere is Somewhere, KIDS SEE GHOSTS (Kanye West & Kid Cudi) - KIDS SEE GHOSTS, Kimbra - Primal Heart, King Tuff - The Other, Kirk Knight - IIWII, The Knocks - New York Narcotics, Kodaline - Politics of Living, Kodie Shane - Young HeartThrob, Kooley High - Never Come Down, The Kooks - Let’s Go Sunshine, KR - In Due Time, Kygo - Kids In Love (Remixes), KYLE - Light of Mine, Lacrae & Zaytoven - Let The Trap Say Amen, Lake Street Drive - Free Yourself Up, Lane 8 - Little By Little, LANY - Malibu Nights, LAUREL - DOGVIOLET, Lauv - I met you when I was 18. (the playlist), Leikeli47 - Acrylic, Lenny Kravitz - Raise Vibration, Leon Bridges - Good Thing, Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears, Lily Allen - No Shame, Lil Peep - Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 2, Lil Wayne - The Carter V, Lissie - Castles, Little Mix - LM5, Lo Moon - Lo Moon, Logic - Bobby Tarantino II [Mixtape], Loyd - Tru LP, LP - Heart to Mouth, Lucy Dacus - Historian, Lupe Fiasco - DRAGOS WAVE, Lyrics Born - Quite A Life, Mac Miller - Swimming, MAJOR. - Even More, Major Lazer - Afrobeats [DJ Mix], Mariah Carey - Caution, Mario - Dancing Shadows, Marion Hill - Unusual, Marsha Ambrosius - Nyla, Marshmello - Joytime II, Masego - Lady Lady, Masta Ace & Marco Polo - A Breukelen Story, Matthew Dear - Bunny, Mayorkum - The Mayor of Lagos, Medasin - Irene, Meek Mill - Championship, Melody’s Echo Chamber - Bon Voyage, Meshell Ndegeocello - Ventriloquism, Method Man - Meth Lab 2: The Lithium, Metric - Art of Doubt, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Mick Jenkins - Pieces of a Man, The Midnight - Kid, Migos - Culture II, MihTy - MIH-TY, Mike Shinoda - Post Traumatic, Mike WiLL Made-It - Creed II: The Album (Music Inspired by the Motion Picture), Mikky Ekko - FAME, Mimicking Birds - Layers Of Us, Mirah - Understanding, Mitski - Be The Cowboy, Miyah Folick - Premenitions, Moon Taxi - Let The Record Play, Morgan Saint - ALIEN, Mr Eazi - Life Is Eazi, Vol. 2 - Lagos to London, Mulatto - Mulatto, Mumford & Sons - Delta, Murs - A Strange Journey Into The Unimaginable, Muse - Simulation Theory, Myá - T.K.O. (The Knock Out), The Naked and Famous - A Still Heart, Nas - NASIR, Natalie Prass - The Future and the Past, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - Tearing at the Seams, Nef The Pharaoh - The Big Chang Theory, The Neighbourhood - The Neighbourhood, Ne-Yo - GOOD MAN, N.E.R.D. - NO_ONE EVER REALLY DIES, Nick Grant - Dreamin’ Out Loud [Mixtape], Nicki Minaj - Queen, NIKI - Zephyr, Nile Rodgers & CHIC - It’s About Time, Nipsey Hussle - Victory Lap, NJOMZA - Vacation, nobigdyl. - SOLAR, Noname - Room 25, N.O.R.E. - 5E, Now, Now - Saved, NR - Before It’s Too Late, ODIE - Analogue, Onra - Nobody Has To Know, Ookay - WOW! COOL ALBUM!, Pac Div - 1st Baptist, Pale Waves - My Mind Makes Noises, Passenger - Runaway, Parliament - Medicaid Fraud Dogg, Parquet Courts - Wide Awake!, Paul McCartney - Egypt Station, Paul Simon - In the Blue Light, Penelope Trappes - Penelope Two, A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant, Peter Bjorn and John - Darker Days, Phonte - No News Is Good News, Phony Ppl - mō’zā-ik, Phora - Love Is Hell, P-LO - PRIME, pluko - sixteen, Poo Bear - Poo Bear Presents: Birthday Music, Popcaan - Forever, Poppy - Am I A Girl?, Porches - The House, Post Malone - beerbongs & bentleys, Preme - Light of Day, Prince - Piano & a Microphone 1983, Princess Nokia - A Girl Cried Red [Mixtape], Prolifgate - Somewhere Else, PRyhme - PRhyme 2, Quavo - Quavo Huncho, Ralph - A Good Girl, RAY BLK - Empress, Rhye - Blood, Reason - There You Have It, R3HAB - The Wave, Rezz - Certain Kind of Magic, Rich Brian - Amen, Rita Ora - Phoenix, RL Grime - NOVA, RL Grimes - NOVA (The Remixes, Vol. 1), RL Grimes - NOVA (The Remixes, Vol. 2), Robyn - Honey, Rome Fortune - Beautiful Pimp 3, ROOSEVELT - Young Romance, Royce Da 5’9” - Book of Ryan, R+R=NOW - Collagically Speaking, Russ - ZOO, Ryan Beatty - Boy In Jeans, Saba - CARE FOR ME, Sabrina Calaudio - No Rain, No Flowers, St. Beauty - Running To The Sun, SAINt JHN - Collection One, San Holo - album1, Sango - In The Comfort Of, Sean Paul - Mad Love: The Prequel, Shamir - Revelation, Sheppard - Watch The Sky, Shopping - The Official Body, Sidney Gish - No Dogs Allowed, Sigala - Brighter Days, Simian Mobile Disco - Murmurations, SiR - November, SKYGGE - Hello World, Skyzoo - In Celebration of Us, Slushii - DREAM, Smashing Pumpkins - SHINY AND OH SO BRIGHT, VOL. 1 / NO PAST. NO FUTURE., Smino - NOIR, Snail Mail - Lush, S’natra - Subject To Change, Snoop Dogg - Snoop Dogg Presents Bible of Love, Snow Patrol - Wildness, Soccer Mommy - Clean, Sofi Tukker - Treehouse, Son Lux - Brighter Wounds, SOPHIE - OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES, Starchild & The New Romantic - Language, Stefflon Don - SECURE [Mixtape], Steve Angello - Human, Steve Aoki - Neon Future III, Steve Hauschildt - Dissolvi, Stonie Blue - Blood Y Moi [Mix], Stro - Nice 2 Meet You, Again, Styles P - Dime Bag, Styles P - G-Host, Summer Walker - Last Day of Summer, Summerella - First Day of Summer, Surpentwithfeet - soil, Swearin’ - Fall Into The Sun, Swizz Beatz - POISON, Tamia - Passion Like Fire, Tammy Rivera - Fate, Teyana Taylor - K.T.S.E., Thatshymn - Pacific Standard Time, Thunderpussy - Thunderpussy, T.I. - DIME TRAP, Tinashe - Joyride, The Ting Tings - The Black Light, Tirzah - Devotion, Tokyo Jetz - Bonafide, Tokyo Police Club - TCP, Tom Misch - Geography, Tommy Genesis - Tommy Genesis, Toni Braxton - Sex & Cigarettes, Toni Romiti - Tomboy, Tory Lanez - LoVE me NOw, Tory Lanez - MEMORIES DON’T DIE, Towkio - WWW., Tracey Thorn - Record, Traci Braxton - On Earth, Travis Scott - ASTROWORLD, Trevor Jackson - Rough Drafts, Pt. 1, Trevor Powers - Mulberry Violence, Trey Songz - 11 [Mixtape], Trey Songz - 28 [Mixtape], TroyBoi - V!BEZ, Vol. 2, Troye Sivan - Bloom, Tunde Olaniran - Stranger, tune-yards - i can feel you creep into my private life, Two Feet - A 20 Something Fuck, Tyga - Kyoto, Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Sex & Food, Until The Ribbon Breaks - Until The Ribbon Breaks, Usher & Zaytoven - “A”, UZ - The Rebirth, The Vamps - Day & Night (Day Edition), Vance Joy - Nation Of Two, Various Artists - Fifty Shades Freed [Motion Picture Soundtrack], Various Artists - Ninjawerks, Vol. 1, Various Artists - Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (Soundtrack From & Inspired by the Motion Picture), Various Artist - Uncle Drew [Original Motion Picture Soundtrack], Vicktor Taiwò - First Movement, Victoria Monet - Life After Love, Pt. 1, Victor Oladipo - V.O., Wild Nothing - Indigo, What So Not - Not All The Beautiful Things, Wet - Still Run, Wiz Khalifa - Rolling Papers 2, The Wombats - Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life, WSTRN - DOU3LE 3AK, Xzibit, B-Real & Demrick - Serial Killers: Day of the Dead, Years & Years - Palo Santo, Yellow Claw - New Blood, YG - STAY DANGEROUS, Yhung T.O. - Trust Issues, Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar, Young The Giant - Mirror Master, Youngr - This Is Not An Album, ZAYN - Icarus Fall, Ziggy Marley - Rebellion Rises, Zion I - Ritual Mystik, Zion I & DJ Fresh - The Tonight Show [Mixtape], ZHU - Ringo’s Desert, Z-Ro - Sadism, 5 Seconds of Summer - Youngblood, 88GLAM - 88GLAM2, 88rising - Head in the Clouds

Meh:

Ace Hood - Trust The Process II: Undefeated, Amen Dunes - Freedom, Animal Collective - Tangerine Reef, AWALNATION - Here Comes The Runts, BANDGANG - In Too Deep, Benny - Different, Caitlyn Smith - Starfire, Carnage - Battered Bruised & Bloody, The Chainsmokers - Sick Boy, cupcakKe - Eden, cupcakKe - Ephorize, Curren$y - Parking Lot Music, Curren$y & Harry Fraud - The Marina, Daughters - You Won’t Get What You Want, Dave East - Karma 2, Dave Matthews Band - Come Tomorrow, DJ Critical Hype - More 9th (Drake & 9th Wonder Mash Up), DOM KENNEDY - Volume Two, Don Toliver - Donny Womback, Eminem - Kamaze, Fetty Wap - For My Fans, Fetty Wap - Bruce Wayne, Frankie Cosmos - Vessels, Future - BEASTMODE 2, G Herbo & Southside - Swervo, Ganja White Night - The Origins, Helena Hauff - Qualm, Hop Along - Bark Your Head Off, Dog, HUNCHO JACK (Travis Scott & Quavo) - HUNCHO JACK, Jack Huncho, Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - Everything’s Fine, Jeezy - Pressure, Keith Ape - BORN AGAIN, Kevin George - Hopeless Romantic, Larry June - Very Peaceful, Lil Durk - Just Cause Y’all Waited, Lil Pete - 4EverFocused, Lucis - Nude, MadeinTYO - Sincerely, Tokyo, Metro Boomin - NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES, Matt and Kim - Almost Everyday, MGMT - Little Dark Age (Matthew Dear Album Remixes), MIKE - Black Soup [Mixtape], Mr Twin Sister - Salt, Nightmares On Wax - Shape the Future, OSHUN - Bittersweet, Vol. 1, Owl City - Cinematic, Palm - Rock Island, Prof - Pookie Baby, Raury - The Woods, Rae Sremmurd - SR3MM, Red Cafe - Less Talk More Hustle, Reese LAFLARE - Reese LAFLARE, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours, Rico Nasty - Nasty, SHIRT - Pure Beauty, Shy Boys - Bell House, Slim Thug - The World Is Yours, Slum Village - The Lost Scrolls, Vol. 2 [Mixtape], Social Club Misfits - Into The Night, Steve Perry - Traces, Takeoff - The Last Rocket, Too $hort - The Sex Tape Playlist, Trae Tha Truth - Hometown Hero, Various Artists - Future Presents: SUPERFLY (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Various Artists - 9th Wonder Presents: Jamla is the Squad II, We The King’s - Six, Westside Gunn - Supreme Blientele, Wifisfuneral - Ethernet, Yves Tumor - Safe In the Hands of Love, Zaytoven - Trapholizay, 03 Greedo - God Level, 24hrs - HOUSES ON THE HILL

Bad:

Eminem - Revival, Jack White - Boarding House Reach, Kay! & Kenny Beats - 777, Lil Baby - Harder Then Ever, Quintin Miller - Q.M., Sheck Wes - MUDBOY, Starlito - At WAR With Myself Too, Trouble & Mike WiLL Made-It - Edgewood [Mixtape]

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