#she’s not sentimental.... but also maybe a few of her most favorite books and her laptop

[magebastard]

Would you be willing to expand more on the choices that felt weird or janky? The book was pretty meh to me but I feel pretty alone in that sentiment

ya!! im still kind of muddling through the different routes so here are just a few things (spoilers ahead):

you suffer the most in this book by a WHOLE LOT and that doesn’t feel like it’s very. important. it just feels like bad things keep happening and it’s onto the next. it’s frustrating bc these are things that fundamentally change people.

wildly enough n’s romance (how I played it) might be. my favorite? in this book. I thought abt myself and my friends and ppl I know for a minute and was like “ya I’ve told people I love them very early in relationships maybe that’s fine I can live w that” and ive just rolled with it but the option even appearing DID feel a lil wild and out of pocket even with my mental gymnastics

a’s romance is trying to achieve sth that’s pretty specific in that tortured, sweeping soulmates kind of way. the push and pull was broken up in moments for A that felt. out of character for the sake of giving you romantic content. it felt rushed and sometimes, frankly, not cohesive w the character as previously written. some of it felt bizarre.

you can snap at tina but you can’t snap at the spy who’s leading her on.

why can’t you realize that you’re in love w f who you are IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH???

the tension w rebecca is rough bc everything w the chamber felt like it existed for the purpose of Introducing The Chamber and also showing rebecca’s ass as a liar. she pretty much tells u she didn’t raise u bc she didn’t know how to and you can’t challenge that you can’t freak out you just accept that info or get mad abt this lie that doesn’t feel like it matters that much

rebecca also said she didn’t have the clearance to know what happened to rook but she???? ran the agency?????? I get some of the other reasoning that’s like “it hurt too much to know” but be real be serious right now. Let me call her out.

AT LEAST let me call out. idk just facts? as they come up. the big bad referring to someone as a ‘she’ who scares them should immediately click for a detective w deductive skills as the leader of the rogues.

idk! I think a lot of romance should have been sidelined in this book. the detective should shift and be a little more characterized by what’s happening around them and I think the LIs could be huge as side support in that. THE BEST FRIEND ROUTES COULD BE SO GREAT FOR THIS TOO?? THOSE AND THE TINA VERDA CONTENT WERE GOLD

overall so much of the issue is very weird pacing

that’s a bit of where im at!

#twc critical #twc book 3 spoilers #anonymous

[pinksirensong]

CHRISTMAS LOVE

LOVE OF THE ENDLESS COLLECTION

dedicated to @ellooo0ooo ❤️

7 days until Christmas

Christmas was by far the favorite holiday from the waking world of Love of the Endless. Valentine's day was about love, but she always thought it was more of Desire's thing than hers, lust almost always winning from love, but Christmas was the time for joy, family and love, all things the oldest Endless cared about. The movies on this season were also her favorite, even if it was rare to be able to see it, but when it happened it did inspire her.

This year she was more than inspired to help love, not only because of the things at the waking world, but also because for the first time in forever she was truly happy. This year Y/N had Morpheus by her side and not in the sister way or the warm your bed for the night way too, he was hers as much as she was his and that was a reason to celebrate love.

Her target, in the most lovely way, were two young people. The girl was shy and very introvert, had a few friends and a lovely family, but it was hard for her to connect with other people beside them. The boy wasn't exactly like that, he was reserved but not because he had any issues in talking with people, he could socialize with anyone, but only his friends could get him. The hardest thing for Y/N was to find how to make them meet...it all started and ended with a red book in a library. Dash & Lily's Book of Dares.

5 days until Christmas

It was fun to see and help young love, at least the beginning of it. She gave the push, the rest was up to them. Maybe she would change his mind about Christmas, a date she loved and he despised and maybe he would help her get out of her shell. Something would happen, if not now then later, the thread was there and it was one of the strong one.

"My twin, I stand in my gallery holding your sigil. I ask your permission to visit your realm."

"You are always welcome at my garden, twin." Destiny's voice echoed through her gallery. A moment later Y/N was no longer in Akai Ito but at his Garden.

"Hello, Des. How delightful it's to see you and smell this beautiful roses!"

"Is that why you are here?" rarely the Endless family would visit Destiny, only for their family reunion.

"You are my beloved twin and it's almost Christmas. I always get too sentimental when it's close, you know that."

"Yes, if I am not mistaken last year you cried when that child saw that Santa Claus man for the first time."

“It was a very cute scene, but you know why exactly I am here. It’s already in your book, I’m sure, but we’re twins and you are my favorite brother.” as twins, even if being an Endless, they had a strong bond and they shared everything about their lives with each other…mostly Love did since Destiny had no life outside his realm.

“Indeed, I do.”

“It’s a little bit boring that you know everything. Can’t you pretend not to know?”

“I could certainly try. For you, of course.”

“Keep that thought for next time, alright?”

“Is there going to be a next time?”

“Oh, you know how tricky fare can be, dear twin.” another wouldn’t notice the little smile on his face, but Y/N knew him too well to miss it. The rest of their day was spent just talking about the news in Love’s life and some insight in Dream's life too.

3 days until Christmas

"Akai Ito is looking more festive than the Dreaming and it's only me and my doves there. What a shame, Dream of the Endless." she was sitting on his throne waiting for him to finish whatever problem he had to deal with.

"There is no reason for it. They are allowed to dream of this holiday if it is their wish." the place was in fact without any decoration, it was like any other day. "Surely you know it is impolite to sit on another's monarch throne."

"Well, it's not comfortable like mine so I guess you should make up to me for all this time I've spent here waiting for you." Y/N pouted at her lover and he couldn't hold back his smile at the sight.

"Perhaps you are right, my love. I should not have neglected you for such a long time." Love stood up and walked towards him and put her arms around him. "How could I ever repay such a mistake?"

"Oh, I would very much enjoy going to your chambers so you could…repay me for your lack of attention." their lips were almost touching when she said that. "Unfortunately I must go back to my realm soon, there is much to do and so little my doves can help with."

"Or you could not entertain this idea of Christmas and stay here with me." Morpheus pulled Y/N closer so he could kiss her, but she stopped him using her hand.

"It's tradition. For a few hours my beautiful doves can go back to their mortal form and enjoy their holiday. It's my power that allows that, as I have already told you many times, my dream."

"And yet I still find it not necessary."

"You take care of your realm's affairs and I will do the same with mine. I don't wish to spend our little time together fighting over our duties. Wouldn't you rather be kissing me?" Dream didn't answer her with words, but with action. While they were kissing, lord of the Dreaming couldn't help but think that he wanted for it to be their affairs from both realms, he wished to make her his queen and also be her king. The Dreaming and Akai Ito would work together perfectly, dreams and love were often tied to one another.

Every time he thought it was the perfect time something would just happen and stop him, it was getting frustrating, but before their next reunion with the rest of the Endless he would've already proposed to Love. They lost too much time, mostly because of him and his stubbornness, but after everything they were still together and in love. Nothing could break them apart now.

Christmas Eve

.

Their celebration never happened inside, not even when Love had only one dove. No, it was always outside her castle where the flowers always bloom beautifully and there was also a big fountain. It was all decorated and there was even a Christmas tree with some ornaments chosen by the other residents of Akai Ito.

"Did you do it?" Flávia's form came closer to where she was. Y/N was watching as Kyra and Paloma were dancing around the fountain. The ceremony had already started, until the sum came up they would be at their mortal's form. It always amazed the Endless to see them like this, they were all beautiful and even more when happy like today.

"Kind of. Left a gift before coming back."

"A gift?"

"Well, where would be the fun in telling him?" Y/N knew her lover and if she was correct he would soon call her through her sigil. Morpheus couldn't be mad at her, it's not he was the last to know about it. Sure, Destiny knew about it and so did all of her doves and perhaps she told Lucienne as well, but that was all. He was one of the last to know.

As always Love was right, when the clock struck midnight at the waking world Dream of the Endless went to his chambers, trying to avoid all the Christmas' dreams that made him miss his love so much. When he arrived there was the gift left by Y/N on the top of his bed, it wasn't hard to know it was hers since he knew her as well as she knew him.

A minute after midnight Morpheus was running towards his gallery, holding close to his heart a onesie saying "little princess on her way".

.

.

tag list: @the-ruler-of-death @mrs-captainsteverogers @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @igotanidea @intothesoul @hedwigprewett12 @queenshelby @mattmurdockmylove @boofy1998 @andieperrie18 @formenis @violet-19999 @pancake2603 @aurorarevenclaw1927 @dothrckis @libra207 @mypsychoticlove

#morpheus x reader #the sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus x oc #love of the endless

[devondeal]

Hello there wifey 💚💙 Here’s some Jedi ask questions about our favorite Jedi women, enjoy 😘

Ahsoka

1,9,21,50

Barriss

2,38,42,43

Luminara

10, 16, 46, 49

Leia

5, 14, 39, 48

Oooo I love me my Jedi women! I had a blast answering these, thanks wifey! 💙💚

Ahsoka

1.) How did she find her Kyber crystal(s)?

So the first time she had to have had gone with her creche led by Yoda I imagine. I think the Illum cave would only show her the Kyber after she learned to slow down and not let her anxieties rush her. I say this because this is a consistent issue for early seasons Ahsoka where she is very impulsive.

For her second Kyber crystal, she had to have gone to Illum with Anakin. I think Ahsoka did not expect to need another crystal because I feel like it was Anakin's observation as a teacher that she was best suited to Jar Kai (dual wielding). It is possible Ahsoka became insecure at her Master deciding she needed a second blade like maybe she wasn't doing good enough with one even though that's not at all what he meant. So I feel like the crystal would present itself to her when she learns to accept that it's ok to use a different style than is the most common and traditional. That she isn't any less a skilled Jedi because she is better with two lightsabers (which would mean a lot to me personally as someone who always needed extra help in school).

9.) Their favorite memory with their Master

I feel like her favorite memory with Anakin would be anytime he teaches her about mechanics given she's mentioned it a few times in Clone Wars namely when she fixes her comm on Geonosis.

I chose this because given what we learned in Tales of the Jedi of how Anakin trained her, these memories of combat training may be confusing and stressful. She probably would turn to a different activity they did together for good memories.

I feel like she also gets nostalgic just remembering when Anakin and Obi Wan bickered like siblings while she just rolled her eyes.

21.) Their greatest challenge

Ahsoka in my opinion really really desperately needs to work on letting go of her guilt and insecurities. She has a tendency to feel responsible for things beyond her control which really gets out of control with Darth Vader.

She just never feels good enough and questions every decision she makes and that only gets worse when she realizes the man who taught her turned to the dark side.

50.) Something in canon about them you reject

The Ahsoka show so far. I'm sorry but I just don't like story or the interpretation of her character at that point in time. She just doesn't feel the same to me anymore. She feels so watered down and just not how the Ahsoka from Clone Wars and even Rebels would act.

Barriss

2.) Why did she build her lightsaber hilt the way she did?

Barriss's hilt is pretty simple so I feel like she built it for practicality. Plus as a healer, she isnt one for fighting so she wouldnt put as much thought into a weapon. There are some similiarities to Luminara's lightsaber so that's definitely a tribute. I also notice that the metal of saber isnt as shiny as most lightsabers. Maybe it's for stealth, or maybe it's a lighter metal to carry, possibly native to her planet if we wanna get sentimental.

Her blade would be blue because Barriss's number one priority is to protect above all. I just love how her lightsaber hilt looks because it's so symmetrical and seems pleasant and easy to hold. The bit of gold at the top is just enough to make it stand out and a lovely tribute to her Master.

These pics are from the lightsaber books which helped inform my opinion given when I google it, her saber looks different depending on what comes up. I also like how it describes her hilt in the end of the paragraph:

38.) Their favorite place in the Jedi Temple

The archives cuz she's a nerd 🤣 seriously though, I think reading and learning stimulates her in a way she needs and is a comfort for her when she's anxious.

42.) What's something she'll never forget?

Sorry for the angst but the Geonosis Arena. That changed everything for her. She saw so many fellow Jedi killed and that was so traumatizing for her, she just couldn't be on the battle field again for a long while according to the canon short story.

The happier answer is Luminara just being the bestest Master and also the moment she realized she has feelings for Ahsoka.

43.) If she could talk to any deceased Jedi, who would it be and why?

I'm gonna give the obvious answer with Luminara and I feel like she would need to say everything she wish she could have told her when she was alive. Especially to free Luminara from any sense of guilt she may have regarding how the war affected Barriss.

Luminara

10.) Her favorite memory with her Padawan

I think it would be watching Barriss build her lightsaber like in the 2003 series. She would be so proud of Barriss I know it.

I also think there are many moments in The Approaching Storm of watching Barriss just having fun. I think she and Anakin basically have a splash fight in a river. Also Luminara would definitely be so proud of Barriss's lightsaber dance. I can see her looking back on these memories after the Clone Wars began wishing it were like that again.

16.) Who are her best friends and how did she meet them?

Obi Wan and Quinlan since I think they're close in age. They'd meet as young Padawans maybe sparring. She probably bested Obi Wan and he was just all blushy which Quinlan def teased him for. They probably got in trouble together all the time. Or maybe as 8 year olds, Quinlan dared Lumi to kiss Obi Wan leaving the poor boy all blushy and tripping over himself 🤣

46.) Your favorite headcanon about her

That she hates Ventress with unreasonable fury 🤣 also that she and Obi Wan are in love and she was a naughtier Padawan.

The reason for that last bit is I headcanon Katri to be her first Master but she sadly was killed as we saw in Tales of the Jedi while Luminara would still be pretty young so she'd probably struggle with that grief. It's also why I feel like Dooku might have a soft spot for Luminara because he respected her Master and avenged her. But I feel like Luminara had to have struggled with the dark side as a teenager as a result of all this.

49.) Her greatest moment

That one bit in a comic where she kicks a pebble at a giant and it knocks him the fuck out looking like she just doesn't have time for this nonsense 🤣

Onscreen, I'd say in Cloak of Darkness, when she was willing to admit she made a mistake about Ventress to Ahsoka. It's so rare to see authority figures be so humble and admit a mistake. It really shows how wonderful and kind and soft she is. It shows why she is to me one of the greatest Jedi.

Leia

5.) Her favorite thing about being a Jedi

Being a Jedi would feel like coming home for Leia. Because she has always felt the Force though she didn't know it. Being a Jedi would feel like reuniting with an old childhood friend. It would remind her of how Bail and Breha raised her to be kind and never let cruelty prevail.

14.) How does she like to meditate?

I feel like she'd prefer isolation. I think she'd levitate because we see Rey doing that so I imagined she learned it from her. I think Leia would also meditate while holding onto a trinket from Alderaan because she'd need something to fidget with. And as a woman of action, meditating would be hard for her so she'd need an object to take out any energy with.

39.) If she were to enter an ancient temple, what would she see?

Since ancient temples love to fuck with Force sensitives, Leia would probably see Darth Vader morphing between that form and Anakin since I feel like he's her worst nightmare. She's afraid if she has any bit of him in her because of genetics so he'd taunt her abt that.

48.) A crack headcanon about her

Leia has the biggest potty mouth and it's a fucking problem. She has def slipped some cuss words in places she REALLY should not. Yes she has all the royal and political training but piss her off enough and the entire senate will hear exactly how she feels. Tarkin has def been at the recieving end of it and she has been suspended as a result.

The only reason Leia keep C3PO around is that she needs him to do her hair. All those fancy updoes? Yeah she never had to do them a day in her life but she does want to look her best so she keeps his annoying metal ass around. Eventually though, it's Han who does her hair for her and 3PO is just there for... tradition? Maybe translation abilities 🤣

#jedimasterbailey 💙💚 #jedi ask game #star wars #luminara unduli #ahsoka tano #barriss offee #leia organa #pro jedi

[jedimasterbailey]

Hello there 😏 ive got some Kenduli asks for you dear:

3, 17, 23, 26, 27, 28, 30

Well hello there to you too my darling 😘 Thank you so much for these asks because I’ve been dying to answer these specific questions, hope you enjoy 💚💙

3- Whose the most obvious about their feelings?

Luminara because she has the most expressive face and I feel that with such enough probing that you could easily get her to blush or spill some beans. I could see her just looking at Obi-Wan with such adoring eyes that the people around her are completely aware that there’s something more to Luminara’s feelings towards Obi-Wan besides just friendship. In case you forgot, these are just a FEW faces Luminara makes; I can easily see them being applicable in a situation where she’s fretting over Obi-Wan or speaking with him.

17-What would they gift each other for holidays such as Life Day?

Since I believe them to be lifelong friends since childhood, I feel they would gift each other sentimental mementos from happier days along with a card with a heartfelt message inside or something from their missions off world and they find something that makes them think of the other. Like for example I can see Obi-Wan finding a necklace that matches Luminara’s eyes or I can see Luminara picking up a book that would pique Obi-Wan’s nerdy ass (like maybe a book on parasitic worms). On a final note, I’d love to headcanon that on one very special Life Day that Obi-Wan would offer Luminara a ring 💍

23-If Obi-Wan were to propose how would he do it and how would Luminara react?

I headcanon that both Mirialans Luminara and Barriss LOVE snow and that they have a soft spot for holidays such as Life Day where all is calm and cozy and everyone is together. With that in mind, I think Obi-Wan would propose to Luminara on an especially snowy Life Day with a ring he found in a Mirialan jewelry shop on Coruscant (since Mirial would be far and under Separatist rule) either outside on one of their favorite Temple garden spots or inside when they’re cuddling up next to a fire watching the snow with steaming cups of cocoa. Luminara would of course be estatic, crying happy tears, having always felt that being Obi-Wan’s bride would be a dream that could never come true 🌨️✨

26-Describe their perfect wedding if they were to have one.

Obi-Wan and Luminara both seem to be very private people so I think like Anakin and Padme, they’d have a very intimate ceremony with only their closest friends and Padawans present either in a Mirialan temple on Coruscant (or Mirial if there is no war going on) or out on some lush open field on Obi-Wan’s home planet of Stewjon (which I headcanon to be like Scotland/Ireland with all the green).

27-Describe their ideal honeymoon if they were to have one?

I feel they would love to your both of their home worlds or go to some other scenic planet like Alderaan and have a private little getaway there.

28-Describe their home if they were to live together.

The Kenduli home would be so cozy and very clean. There would be plenty of cushions, books, candles, and other ornate rugs, tapestries, and art pieces from their home worlds or other places they’ve travel. There would also be a desk area for Obi-Wan to study at and a place for Luminara to sew and quilt. They’d have like the biggest, most comfortable bed and a huge closet since they’ve both very fashionable people with a master bathroom that has a huge shower and a jacuzzi bathtub (for extracurricular activities). Since they’re such parents, their home would be full of photos and mementoes of their Padawans, former Masters, and other dear friends.

30-Whose more likely to be jealous if someone were to make a pass?

Obi-Wan and Luminara would be very trusting of each other so neither of them would like get to Anakin level of rage but I feel like it could go either way depending on the situation. Like for example if a woman were to be really flirty and start to get handsy (especially if it’s Ventress) she would be furious and probably do something petty with the Force to get the girl off of him however Obi-Wan would react the same if it were vice versa but maybe he’d be tempted to bust out the lightsaber since men really like to be macho when it comes to their lady. So I guess it’s a tie?

Original Kenduli Ask Game Questions

#kenduli ask game #kenduli #obinara #luminara x obi wan #obi wan kenobi #luminara unduli #devondeal 💚💙

[amemenojaku]

recent post made me curious, what do you consider the most precious doujin thing(s) you own?

Sukunagatari (スクナガタリ), a retelling of DDC & ISC in 5 volumes with a LOT of folklore elements and the artist's interpretation of what ZUN used as inspiration for shinmyoumaru & seija. cool fight scenes, REALLY good emotional moments, interesting thoughts on derivative stories and oral transmission of folktales, there's even an original song written by the artist and the circle Ringing Volcano turned it into a remix of reverse ideology some time later available right here. honestly this is one of the best doujins I've ever read and I absolutely recommend it! or if you can't read it there's also the song which is great!! I have a lot of feelings about these books

Hohuri by Diao Ye Zong, it's still my favorite album from them and it's what really got me into dolls in pseudo paradise :) solid tracklist from beginning to end. not much to add since I've already talked about it a lot over the past few years

Yumekanae, the full-color counterpart to the messed up cat renko book. If You Know You Know, etc. I enjoyed the cat story for its oppressive atmosphere & its excellent twist, but this one with its soft sunset colors & merry's monologue & that gorgeous page where she/yukari swallows The Thing has haunted me since it came out in (checks) 2014! which is funnily enough the same year Hohuri came out... like a good wine year....... anyway this really made me love the idea of merry not being a "person", but a concept or some kind of phenomenon. and the accompanying song is excellent and always makes me wanna cry. "now together we'll become a world".. auugghhh

さよなら花余命 by ykzt, a lovely story about kosuzu realizing her feelings for akyuu. it's tender, the art is beautiful (this artist has drawn some of my favorite akyuusuzu pictures), I love the soft smiles and blushing faces and how kosuzu's thoughts are written. the quiet, bittersweet atmosphere of the whole story is the cherry on the cake for me

Vector Spectacle, which I think most seija/shinmyoumaru fans (or people who read lots of touhou doujinshi in general) already know and like :) it's a great mix of fun scenes, romance, well-written introspection and cool backstory ideas. I'm a bit sad it was never finished ofc, but what's already out there is really good and the art is amazing. I have very fond memories of reading and collecting doujin stuff in 2014-2018 and this series is one of the reasons why!!!

there's a lot of other doujin books or CDs with sentimental value to me because I got them as gifts from friends, joined as an artist, or which I got in person from my favorite creators... but there's so many I'm scared I'd forget to list some of them.. so maybe for another day, when I'll write a doujin rec list!

[fma03envy]

okay one more dr ask thing (dont feel obligated to answer if you dont want to BUT) Id really love to hear what you think about the big questions 20 and 42, its bit something Ive seen peoole discuss on tumblr at length recently

Had a few thoughts for the first one so putting them under the cut

20. What is your favorite aspect of Danganronpa?

This one's a bit hard to put into words but I'll try.

I love Danganronpa plotlines that kind of HAD to happen based on the context was built up, and characters who are doomed by some core aspect of their situation (either plot context or their own intrinsic character traits).

I think Nagito's a good example of this, because him being Like That is so tied to his talent on every level as well as to the setting of the killing game, but with context it feels like he couldn't have turned out any other way. His whole "this despair will lead to even greater hope" thing cannot be separated from the fact that his talent literally guarantees anything unlucky that happens to him to be reimbursed with something lucky. Everything in his life is so dialed up to 1000 that his only way of staying hopeful on a personal level is to believe that the cycle ends at the universe righting itself, a sentiment that the setting of the killing game makes the others see (correctly) as illogical but him cling to as salvation. He's the most extreme version of what Chiaki and Kamishiro describe where people get defined by their talents.

Dr3 Chiaki is another one of my absolute favorite examples, though in her case what gets me is more a matter of framing. You first see her and your immediate thought is "WAIT why is Chiaki here? There isn't any human Chiaki later-" and then after a second the dots connect™. But if you're anything like me, you still end up endeared by her, and so will find yourself hoping against hope that maybe she'll be ok. And so of course, she isn't, she was never going to be, she dies as horribly as possible, setup and payoff. Aside from all the junkozuru stuff, Chiaki's arc is easily my favorite part of dr3 because it takes advantage of its nature as a prequel and uses your own expectations to build dread.

Speaking of prequels, I feel like Danganronpa Zero (my favorite part of the Dr series thus far) also utilizes its chronological location well to build an air of inevitability. Like you know after this book comes The Literal Apocalypse, so the question isn't if or how everything will go to shit but when. And our protagonist's attitude of denial only heightens your unease, because she's so singlemindedly set on having a happy life with Matsuda and blocking everything else out that you can't help but assume that ultimately will become impossible (and of course in the back of your mind, the fact that neither of them is ever seen again later in the series nags at you). But then it turns out that Ryoko is doomed not only by the narrative but also by her base character premise. Her very existence was conditional and she was never going to win; Junko would never be able to find satisfaction chasing such dreams.

(Sidenote: I would also argue that Junko and Izuru are both intrinsically doomed by their own boredom tied to their ridiculously OP talents. This is why Junko devotes herself to insane schemes that will never be enough, and why Izuru's two choice coping mechanisms are a) give up or b) help her).

Plus on reread, not only does Ryoko's plight become more tragic, but Matsuda's whole thing feels a lot more predetermined, both because Junko had the whole thing literally planned from the beginning (which is foreshadowed in ways that drive me up the wall), and because it's like. All Matsuda's actions tie back to the combination of his classmates being murdered + his loyalty to Junko + his suspicions he's trying desperately to first ignore and then disprove that she's behind this + guilt over harboring her + guilt over Soshun + guilt over lashing out at Ryoko about this when she doesn't remember and LOVES him, guilt guilt guilt guilt. Of COURSE he's a confused, bitter contradictory mess, how would this character be anything else in this context.

So, the short answer would be that dr0 Mukuro's repeated "that's the kind of story this is" quote encompasses the ideal Danganronpa vibe (ik she only repeats that in one of the two dr0 fanstranslations I have on hand but I like the quote and so am hoping it's canon)

42. How do you feel about the Danganronpa fandom as a whole?

Eh, I feel like I'm not really the best person to ask here? My perception is skewed by the facts that a) I only really interact with dr fans on Tumblr (or insta but then it's mostly ppl who've followed me first) b) I'm very quick to block strangers if it seems like they're shitty or annoying and c) I've been into dr for less than a year. So I feel like I've been able to keep my own experiences relatively good bc of that?

Generally a lot of the weird bigotry I've seen here is people uncritically parroting the same stuff present in the games, but also I've been a fan of media with far fewer issues where the fandom really wasn't much better (see: utdr. Trying to find letsplayers who I didn't hate was just as hard there as here; currently I've got like 2 channels I trust to be normal about dr but that's it). So basically no good fandoms only good friends

#asks #danganronpa #danganronpa spoilers

[astorythatwritesitself]

You mentioned wanting to flesh the crew out more so your choice of Normandy crew for 🌱🖤 ✍️ & 🍄

Normandy crew:

🌱 Nature- Kaiden, sadly, never saw very much ground action during the SR1 days- similar to Liara, when it came to combat teams, Shepard provided solid biotic capabilities and either needed heavier fire backup or dedicated tech expertise. But, he did appreciate that she kept him in mind, often bringing back samples from non-radioactive mineral deposits- they always got a laugh over her handing over a chunk of gold or platinum in particular. While Kaiden had spent a good bit of his life on earth, his experiences on Jump Zero left him particularly sentimental to keeping reminders of... maybe not Earth, specifically, but solid ground nearby; he was pretty good at identifying various rocks and minerals, and often assists ship-side on the surveys.

(When Mordin shares about his time on stage, Shepard actually gets a little... not weepy, but it's not a completely happy laugh, when she says 'a friend of mine tried teaching me the elements to that tune')

🖤: yeah actually I've been here for like an hour, I got nothing lol. I'll try to work on one & will edit/reblog and tag if I do?

✍️ Education: Wrex was among the last generation of krogan who got an education that halfway included anything beyond hard combat focus, and his favorite subjects as a whelp were history and literature; particularly where the two came together in epic sagas, and he has extremely strong opinions on word choice and structuring damn it. He tries to keep reading after leaving Tuchanka, but it gets pushed to the backburner: most surviving older krogan regard it as a waste of time, and the few children born just... don't get the point of it. So he's... really surprised when, on the Normandy, Adrian extends what is clearly a token invitation of 'hey, Ash is starting a book club, want to join', and he figures why the hell not?

It's part of what kicks his conviction to return to Tuchanka- human literature was surprisingly nice, but then he got the chance to share something. Chose the story of a small, loyal band protecting their clan leader from a hostile uprising- not a major battle, but he liked it because it was one that was verifiable and was just plain beautiful, exemplifying a true leader fighting honorably at the head of the battle, demonstrating strength of will to survive over complete brute force, something that seems to have been lost over time.

The humans loved it (Ashley immediately suggested he check out some Tennyson), but it was also the first time he'd really felt that kind of... passion, again, turns out a long life just means longer depressive funks. And goddamn it, the krogan were better- are better, whatever anyone may think- they have culture, they have beauty, and like hell is he going to let that get pissed away.

(After Grunt is officially welcomed into Clan Urdnot, Wrex sends him a few books- a personally curated collection of krogan works of course, but there's ultimately a novel or collection of verse from every major species, just to make sure the kid has variety.)

🍄 Cooking/food: Jack spends a ton of time around the mess early in. She's- look even before prison, she was not well cared for and she was probably never fed enough, especially considering the toll her biotics would take (in fact, Chakwas puts her foot down on Jack doing any groundwork for a solid bit of time, because her body is basically on the verge of eating itself alive for a while). It evens out though, but she's still often raiding whatever eatables she can because there's that very loud, distinct instinct that it's not going to last and at least she can be in good shape before getting kicked out.

Everyone notices, but it's Rupert of all people who takes action first. Tells her she can at least make a sandwich instead of stealing energy bars. (Jack thinks, why not both, because she's been targeting Miranda's favorites and it's hilarious seeing her get frustrated.)

But she also, with plenty of complaining and name-calling on either side, decides fuck it might as well, and it might be a good skill- if she makes her own food, with her own ingredients, she can be extra sure it's not going to be drugged or something. And then it turns out to be fun (she's encouraged to set something on fire? Fuck yes), and it's great to lord over Commander 'I can save the galaxy but am banned from kitchens for life and death' Shepard. And she can threaten the crew with getting thrown across the entire second floor if they don't eat what she's made! Which is, of course, the only reason they do so, and the ones saying it's actually good are just brown-nosing. Sucks for them, just means she's going to keep doing it until someone cracks!

#ask #mass effect hcs #i was challenging myself to work with characters i usually don't but there's a line between that and 'i barely know how to work em yet' xD #my writing

[joealwyndaily]

I know I'm boring, I'm sorry about that, but I don't really know English and I can only understand what Joe says if I transcribe his interviews, so please can you guys do that with his video for GQ and the interviews with Alison? 😭

Don't worry, it's not a problem! 💛 Here is his GQ 10 Essential Items:

Hi GQ, I’m Joe Alwyn and these are my 10 essentials.

Let’s start the essentials the way I start in the morning, which is with coffee. This is the starring French press of the day. You put the coffee in, you put your hot water in, you plunge it down and you drink it straight from this. With a little bit of milk. I'm really not a coffee snob to be honest I don't have like a place I go to get coffee. I just basically drink it and inject into my veins. Coffee.

So, my next essential item is, drum roll, a camera, obviously. This is a Leica camera, a Leica Q. I first saw one of these on the set of The Favorite and Yorgos Lanthimos who was the director of The Favorite would carry one of these around everywhere he goes and take the most beautiful behind the scenes photos. I'll take it on set sometimes, or take it out and about, throw on a shoot or with a group of friends. I’ve always been pretty interested in photography, really I just wanted to copy Yorgos.

 My next essential item is a piece of clothing. This is my lucky jacket, and I was actually given it for my 21st birthday. It’s lucky because I wore it when I went to America for the first time, to New York for an audition, which was my first audition, and I got the part. I was lucky enough to get the part, which was a film called Billy Lynn's long Halftime Walk. When I went over there, I turned 24 I think and I didn't know anyone, and my family sent me some flowers I think to the hotel I was staying in and so I found the other day, pressed in here like a card from the flower company and a card from my family. Nostalgic memories.

My next essential items, lighters. I like collecting old lighters and the ones that I brought here today are made by Dunhill. They’re just like old-ish, beautiful well-made objects. Got a few in silver, there’s one in gold. You'd think I would be a smoker but I actually am not really a smoker, however, if you're at a party and you need a cigarette lighter, I’m your guy. They got my initials on, there you are, just in case I forget.

 Alright my next essential item is a book. This is the book I'm reading at the moment, Sally Rooney's Beautiful World, Where Are You. That’s a fair question. Sally Rooney is an Irish author who has two books before this, Normal People and Conversations with Friends, which is a show that comes out mid-May 2022. Very long sentences, I’m looking for a short sentence here. ‘She looked up at him quickly and he met her eyes.’ There's a lot of humanity in her writing, I like the way that we can identify with her characters, and I also think she's really funny as a writer.

My next essential item on this lovely list is my watch. I never used to really wear one but I do now. And I have this classical automatic Patek Philippe which is really lovely, really beautifully made. It was actually made in 1991 which is the same year that I was born so it's been ticking for as long as me. In a world of screens and computers it’s just nice to have something like that on your wrist.

My next essential item is a scented candle. I have a bunch of them at home and they’re nice things to take around with you, if you're moving around a lot, and in your hotel room or in a new space or a new place. This particular one is made by Loewe. This particular one is called Cypress Balls. If you do like your in-laws maybe Cypress Balls by Loewe. If you don't like them just get them some tealights, how's that for a pitch?

 My next item is another piece of clothing, not old and not so sentimental. It's a pair of track suits that Stella McCartney makes. I really like her clothes and I like her as a person as well and she makes eco-friendly clothes. There, you know, a pair of everyday track suits, you can wear all the time, they’re just comfy and they’re great. Everyone should have them.

The next item is my bike. It's got a couple of wheels, couple of breaks and a nice little seat. Particularly in London yeah I tend to walk or take the tube or the bus anyway, so a bike is a nice way of getting around, a bit of exercise. I wanted like a road bike that was relatively lightweight and would get me from a to b. Which so far, it’s done. I’m not sure it’s like built for wheelies, and I would probably fall off, so we’ll leave showing the wheelie till next time.

My next item on my list is, the suspense, is a painting. It’s a painting by a Cornish painter called Richard Cook. It was a gift when I was 18. He does mainly landscapes of Cornwall, it’s just a place that I've been going all my life, since I was a kid, on kind of family holidays. Everyone packing into the car with dogs and David Bowie or The Beatles on tape. Being in the car for hours and hours and hours, finally getting to Cornwall and jumping into the sea and it being freezing cold but also great. This picture at the moment is on the mantel piece, at home, above the fire.

Thank you for watching, these with my 10 essential items.

#anonymous #joe alwyn #interview #gq 10 essential items

[simplyclary]

My (Personal) Thoughts on Seasons of Shadowhunters

Note: These are my personal thoughts about Cassie's latest project. Feel free to comment and reply down below and share your thoughts as well.

Recently, one of my favorite authors Cassandra Clare announced a Kickstarter project and it's all about Shadowhunters. I was excited when she hinted at it on her IG stories and was even more excited (with a few mixed feelings) when I finally got the email about the project itself.

My thoughts on this entire project will be broken down into segments/parts (so it won't be long paragraphs without breakers) so if you wanna hear my thoughts, do continue.

Part 1: Secrets of Blackthorn Hall

To be honest with you all, I'm not excited about this one. Well, it could be because it's available online (and here on Tumblr) so maybe that contributed to my non-existent excitement for it. I will also admit that I did not read every single entry of SoBH, I only read like the ones I cared about (Tessa's letter to Sophie is one of them) and the others, I may or may not have skimmed.

Art-wise, the art is beautiful, no doubt. But still, I'm quite skeptical about this one so maybe when it eventually comes, I might change my mind.

Part 2: Careful of Books Novellas

I am honestly not the biggest fan of novellas. I mean, I do read them to further understand the characters of a certain story (I did read A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas even though it was just the characters having a domestic Winter Solstice).

With this one, I am partly excited, partly not. I have no idea why but the closer it comes, I may be persuaded to be excited about it. It will feature a character whose future is interesting (I can only guess who that is...) and of course, it is set in the Shadowhunter universe (which timeline, I have no idea.)

I got to admit, novellas are fun but like it's not as fun as full-length novels with higher stakes and whatnot so I guess that is also part of it but I'll just have to see where we go from here.

Part 3: Notable Shadowhunters

Now, this is more of a collectible than a book because this will most probably contain more photos than words, which I'm not complaining about. It's always good to have fanart of your favorite Shadowhunters characters. I used to want to own the illustrated book but over time, that feeling kind of went away. I am a practical gal most of the time and I just thought that these photos would be scattered online anyway so if I favored a specific character's card, I would just get it online and print it myself if I desire to.

I'm not sure whether I will purchase it when it comes but who knows, maybe with some convincing, I might be persuaded.

Part 4: Better In Black Short Stories

This is probably what I'm most excited for. I adore the first three short story collections (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy, Ghosts from the Shadow Market and The Bane Chronicles) and this is probably not gonna be any different. I'm a romance lover by nature and to know that this might feature some of my favorite Shadowhunters couples makes me a little bit more excited. I mean, to be fair, I prefer some couples more than others but getting stories about the prominent couples are not out of the question for me.

I'm looking forward (and slightly hoping) to maybe seeing my favorite couples Simon and Izzy, Thomas and Alastair, Clary and Jace, and Magnus and Alec take the spotlight but I'm not opposed to the idea that other couples (Jem and Tessa, Julian and Emma, etc..) will also be featured since romance is a big aspect in the fantastical tales of the Shadowhunters. Plus, it's never seen before content, so that kind of adds to the hype.

I just need the Clace and Sizzy wedding plus Thomas and Alastair living together, if you get what I mean, okay?

Part 5: The Compass Rose Journal

I may or may not have screamed when I saw this in the email because as a fan of Thomas Lightwood, his compass rose is a sentimental symbol to me and to own a journal with that very symbol, oh, I can dream but I guess it's coming.

And for art to be included, uhm, yes please! Although I honestly thought it would just be like a notebook with like the compass rose etching on the cover but I guess I was wrong.

Conclusion

These are all my thoughts. I may have not worded it all well because I did mention in a previous post that I kind of drifted away from the Shadowhunters fandom for a while now but maybe with this upcoming content, my heart might go back to the shadows or stay in the sunshine where it currently resides. ;)

With that, I say, Hail and Farewell, Angels!

#the last hours #the mortal instruments #the infernal devices #the dark artifices #shadowhunters #the shadowhunters chronicles

[veeples-archive]

alrighty y’all time to talk in the tags

what did y’alls detectives take with them from their apartment? what was important enough to salvage?

bonus: did they lose anything they’re upset about?

#the wayhaven chronicles #twc #twc book 3 demo #i’ll start: luce took important mementos people have given him #his favorite cook book and ok sure he does have a dog #fiona took accessories and her make up and her fishing gear and her art supplies #charlie took what she could salvage of her lingerie her perfume her skin care stuff #she’s not sentimental.... but also maybe a few of her most favorite books and her laptop #faustus took his guitar his keyboard his make up and his favorite doc martens

[yoooespinosa]

could you please write a draco x reader fic, where the reader is hopelessly in love with draco, and she's not afraid to show it. but draco doesn't feel the same. and draco being draco, he rejects the reader with no remorse. then when the reader finally comes to the realization that she deserves better, she started seeing new people (not necessarily dating, but more like talking), then that's when draco feels a bit jealous now that the reader isn't all over him anymore. the rest is up to you, love! just something really angsty, you could end it in any way you'd like.

also, sidenote. you're an amazing writer and i love you!!

a/n: Thank you for your request! ily <3

To say you had a crush on Draco Malfoy, was an understatement.

You couldn't help it, you couldn't just stop the feelings you developed every time he came around.

When he walked into the room it was butterflies breaking out of their cage, palms growing sweaty and your heart racing so fast you were scared you'd be able to see its indentions.

It was scary at first, to have such feelings at only thirteen years old. So you did your best to ignore them. You did your best to stay out of his way.

That only worked for so long.

When you are friends with Draco and the people that surround him, it becomes very hard to stay out of his path.

So it was only inevitable that your crush on him would become so much more. Especially as the years went on.

He hadn't made it much easier. Sometimes you felt as if, maybe, he returned your feelings. How could you think otherwise? With the way he walked with you to class, carried your books at times and spent time with you. Just you. Alone.

How could you not fall in love with him.

With all that simmering in you, you finally let it out. You made your affections obvious, not afraid to show Draco how you felt for him. You had thought it was welcomed. You thought that the feelings would be returned.

It seemed as though he could only tolerate you for so long. Yes, that was the right word for it, the only thing he had for you was toleration.

Your shoes sounded on the stone under you, on your way to the Slytherin common room. You had just got out of detention with professor Snape. You suppose it was well deserved, you had seen Draco almost put the wrong ingredient in his potion, so you being you had wandered to his table and helped him, much to Snapes dismay.

Whispering the password, you made your way through the dim passage. Chattering of people from all years and faint laughter was heard all around.

You spotted your friends right away, seated by the green flamed fireplace, as usual.

"She just can't take a hint." You heard Draco grumble, you paused your steps, you didn't mean to eavesdrop but it seemed as if your feet had a mind of its own.

"Wait," Blaise closes the book he had in his hold. "who are we talking about again?"

Pansy sighs, seeming they had been on the topic for some time. "We're talking about y/n."

Your brows furrow. Going back to the first thing you heard Draco say, she just can't take a hint, what was that supposed to mean. What hint?

"Why can't you just tell her how you feel?" Theo adds, his voice is laced with annoyance, maybe this isn't the first time they've talked about this.

"I thought how I felt would be obvious enough, without having to say anything." He huffs.

"Well," Theo sighs. "apparently not."

You were becoming anxious. What were they talking about and what exactly was Draco feeling? There was streak of hope in you, maybe he'd confess right here that he felt the same.

"What do you suggest I say then, oh-wise-one?" Draco asks teasingly.

"Easy, just say exactly what you tell us." He clears his throat dramatically, adopting a mock version of his voice, "Y/n, you have to be one of the most annoying girls, I have ever had the dissatisfaction of meeting. Please, oh please take the hint and leave me alone because these attempts at getting at me are getting more pathetic each time." He finishes with a clumsy curtsy.

The other Slytherins try to stifle their laughs.

You hadn't even noticed the gasp that escaped your throat until four heads turned to your direction.

"Y/n, I didn't kn-" You cut of Theo's words and apologetic stare.

"Is that true?" You ask Draco, your voice low, laced with hurt. Your nose was stinging and your bottom lip hung heavy, but you refused to cry in front of them. You wouldn't give them another weakness to laugh about.

Draco managed to keep his face blank, no emotions shining through. He shrugged, "Pretty much summed it up."

You almost flinched. He didn't even care about the hurt those words brought you.

You left without a look back. Leaving behind your friends call of your name. They weren't the ones you wanted an apology from. They had known how much you felt for him and didn't even bother telling you that it was definitely not mutual. They even laughed, like it was a joke, like your heart was a comedic topic.

The cold air hit your face, freezing against the tear stain tracks. You sat on a lone stone bench in the court yard, letting those tears make a home on your cheeks.

It wasn't obvious--his dislike to you. If it was, you would have gave up long ago. But a part of you felt that there was hope and you had chased after that.

Why couldn't he have just told you when you first let your affections known, it seemed that he had encouraged it back then, with lingering touches and soft smiles.

Looking back now, you notice that those advantages had slowly disappeared. You had been too caught up in his silky hair, those gray eyes filled with mirth and mischief, his angular face with high bones that no one could compare to, that you hadn't notice everything was unrequited.

A sick part of you even felt honored to have your heart broken in the hold of his beautiful hands, the part that saw him do no wrong.

Maybe that was the first problem, you put him on a pedestal, so high up you weren't able to see anything negative of him. You weren't able to see his cruel reality of his feelings towards you.

And he didn't even seem sorry. He didn't even look bothered by the damage of his words.

You were so nice and considerate to him. You would support him at every quidditch game, cheer the loudest even when he lost. You bought him presents for every one of his birthdays and even Christmas, each one sentimental and thoughtful. You had comforted him when he got those letters, that he despised, from his father. You had voiced encouragements when he showed a little tell sign of his insecurities. You had been there for him.

And he treats you like this, like you can be so easily dismissed. You didn't deserve that, you didn't deserve to be called pathetic for having normal feelings and then being laughed at for it.

The longer you sat on that cold bench, the angrier you got. A bitter feeling growing in your stomach, melting away those knots.

You wasted all this time and effort on some guy who didn't even deserve it, some guy who didn't appreciate you. It wasn't fair.

"Hey, you okay?" A familiar voice sounded through your revelations.

You looked up and met green eyes framed with circular glasses.

"Yeah. I was just thinking." You mumbled, the bitter taste was stuck on your tongue, you wanted rid of it.

"Mind if I sit and think with you?" Harry asked, he was nervously scratching the back of his neck, smiling warmly at you.

You offered him a smile, welcoming his genuineness. "Go ahead."

He sat there with you for hours. Surrounded by the sound of wind. It was nice and comfortable. The bitter feeling leaving you completely. You were content now, even if you could still feel the ache in your arms from holding onto Draco for so long.

Weeks had passed. Weeks of no signs of you. The first week Draco hadn't been worried, a little curious, but that was all. The longer it went on though, he became a little more than curious. Not because he cared, cause he didn't, just that if something happened to you, it would be his fault. His rejection was the reason you ran off like a fool to who knows where.

Which is the only reason he went looking for you. He already got a lot of shit from the others, he didn't need more problems stacking up.

He checked all of your favorite places. Starting with that tree down by the black lake that you enjoyed to lean on and watch the sun go down, the sunset wasn't near so he should've known you would not have been there.

He then went to the gardens, there was a bench there that was next to a small pond. It was filled with odd creatures and was home to your favorite flowers, lotus's. You weren't there either.

Lastly, he went to a certain abandoned hall. You had to be there. You went there to be alone with your thoughts, you had taken him with you there a few times. There was a big window there with a thick ledge, streams of sunlight beamed through and tiny rainbows would reflect on the opposite wall due to the cracks on said window.

He heard you before he saw you. A soft laugh reverberating through the empty hall, a laugh he had always found annoying. Hearing it now though, just made him want to get closer to you.

So he did, walking with light footsteps. He froze, you were not alone. Sitting there in the space he once accompanied, was Harry fucking Potter. What kind of sick joke was this?

Why were you sitting with him? And does that mean you just laughed at something he said?

Your laugh sounded through again, once piercing now melodic. It was a bitter feeling, Potter shouldn't have the honor of dragging that sound out of you, he shouldn't even witness it.

Draco left the hall before either of you saw him, he needed to get himself in check.

More weeks passed. Weeks of you hanging out with Potter. You were doing things with him that you had done with Draco.

It was on purpose, you had to be doing it on purpose. You were simply trying to make him jealous and it was annoyingly working.

But how could you be doing that when you didn't even look back to see a reaction.

Draco didn't know what to think. He didn't even know what to feel, or more like let himself feel. Something had changed in the weeks you were away from him.

A revelation of sorts. He missed you. Missed what you would do for him. He regretted what he said and what he never had the chance to say. Because maybe deep down those feelings had been returned, but he was just too stubborn to show.

And now he's seeing you realizing that you deserve more than blurred lines and assumptions. And he's realizing maybe Potter is that more that you deserve.

Draco doesn't like that one bit, he can't even stomach the thought. So he promises to himself that he will do everything in his power to win you back. Even if that means saying that he was sorry and admitting that he was in the wrong, something he's never had to do before.

But if that makes you his again and gets you away from Potter, then its worth it.

Part 2

#draco malfoy one shot #draco fanfiction #draco fic #draco lucius malfoy #draco one shot #draco x reader #draco angst #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy #draco x slytherin!reader #harry potter #harry james potter #slytherin #lexi’s fics ◡̈

[yabai-korra]

The reasons why we're getting Manorian book

There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.

1. It's SJM

This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.

2. There have already been books focused on side characters

a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).

b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)

3. Favoritism

SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.

In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.

Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.

4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings

Ships at the end of TOG:

Rowaelin - married

Elorcan - engaged

Lysaedion - engaged

Chaorene - married with a baby on the way

Nestaq - engaged

Manorian - hug and "we'll see"

All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.

KOA spoilers ahead!

Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.

The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:

"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it

"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left

"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this

Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it

Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.

"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply

This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.

With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.

Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)

The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)

5. Foreshadowing

Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.

6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.

Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.

Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.

Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.

They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.

7. Other TOG characters

Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.

We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)

Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.

SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.

8. Abraxos

We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.

Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.

#manorian #manon blackbeak #manon crochan #manon crochan blackbeak #dorian havilliard #manon x dorian #throne of glass #crown of midnight #heir of fire #queen of shadows #empire of storms #tower of dawn #kingdom of ash #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin #aedion ashryver #lysandra ennar #lysaedion #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #lorcan lochan #elorcan #nesryn faliq #sartaq #nestaq #manorian book #abraxos #sjm #sarah j maas

[my2phetaliaheadcanons]

Feel free to ignore this. But I love your writing and was wondering if you could do the stalking headcanons you done but with the 2p allies?

How could I ignore such a request? After all, yandere is a fun aspect of horror to write, stalking is just one step in the process. Also thank you for the compliment and the ask. I love seeing them.

Sorry, I put it as an original post, but it was an ask. I fixed it!!

The buzzing sound of old electrical wires was the only sound on the empty street. It gave the young woman some comfort while she stood underneath the old streetlamp. Though that small bit of comfort was not enough to stop the paranoia that came from the feeling of being watched.

France – François’ chéri would be watched constantly in some shape or form. He would prefer to use cameras. Things like street cameras, security cameras, and the like would all be hacked by one of his men. From there François would have them all connected to his phone via a special app called Darling Watch. If there were spots along his chéri’s route that didn’t have a camera, then François will have his men install some.

This does extend to the home of his little chéri. As much as François doesn’t like to work, he would do the cameras himself. He knows her best and would know the proper places to put the cameras. Places she wouldn’t expect or think to look. From there he would install them in every room. Each one is well-hidden and yet gives a full view of her home.

François would occasionally view her in person. Unlike Denmark with his few times a month, François would find a place in her routine where he could watch her fully once a week. If she had a customer service-like job, then he would be the customer asking for her. A college student, then he would watch her as she studied in the library. So on and so forth.

Overall, his chéri would pick up on the fact she was being watched. That action is not the easiest to hide and may drive her to the point of tearing her apartment apart. Throughout all the madness, she would never guess François. The man that appeared in her life once a week. The man that occasionally stared at her or gave her a couple of words at work. The truth could be enough to send her into shock.

America – Allen is a pushy and possessive person, and it shows in his stalking. He stays close to his doll and watches for as long as he can. He spends his time out of sight but close enough to take photos and intervene on her behalf.

Until he feels that it is the right time to talk to her that is. At that moment Allen will saunter into her life. His overall timing and attitude would remind anyone of a villain from a greaser movie. The tough attitude but that rough charm that could make anyone weak in the knees is how he cements his place in her life. From there, his stalking becomes a lot easier and more fruitful.

He gets pictures and some of her most personal information straight from her mouth. Things like why her favorites are favorites. All the items with sentimental values and what extra things will be needed in their new home. The list could go on and Allen will catalog it all with a smile. Though at the same time, Allen will still watch her from a distance. Following her home after hanging out, making sure no creeps are around her house. He sometimes even watches his doll through her bedroom window. He just leans against his motorcycle and lets his thoughts wander.

Doll is gonna end up right where Allen wants her. She will assume he chases the monsters away, but in the end, she invited the worst monster into her home. Once reality sets in though, her feelings of betrayal would be intense. His doll may try to cast him out, but it won’t be for long. He will still watch and wait for the right time to bring her home.

Canada – Matt’s methods remind one of a zoologist. Continual observations, detailed notes, all while remaining in the corner of her eye. It's terrifying and somehow Matt is able to find out all he needs to know.

Matt is a true lurker. He is hiding just out of her periphery; the shadows help hide his massive form. His high-end camera letting off small clicks as he takes plenty of photos. Each one worthy of being on the front cover of a National Geographic magazine. The photos are printed on high-end glossy paper and then placed into an album.

Each picture is labeled and contains notes about his maple. The range from things about her likes, dislikes, medical needs, and more. He even has a book dedicated to her enemies, each one taken down is crossed out in red.

Through the process, Matt's zoologist behavior continues by entering her home, like an animal's den. Though he is helpful while looking through. he does this by helping them get a promotion at work via intimidation, getting any medications, buying her groceries, and placing them in their proper place, improving/fixing things in her home. He also takes out anyone that so much as bumps into her.

The improvements and groceries at first would be brushed off. But as time goes on and the incessant clicking of a camera will start to drive her into madness. Each click is enough to make her panic and all the improvements cause an uncomfortable itch under her skin. It will all end when Matt finally brings her home.

England – Oliver is very subtle when it comes to his dearie. Mostly because he has her come and interact with him. Then during the in-between times watches her.

This all starts simple enough, he makes sure that she has to visit him. It could be that her job has her deliver some paperwork to him and it must be in person. Maybe, a college student looking for a part-time job and suddenly finds a new cupcake shop looking for workers. Either way, Oliver will find some way to get her to him. From there he builds up the relationship.

It feels creepy at first. Oliver asks some deep questions, things that one would expect from a date rather than a boss or work partner. It gets uncomfortable, but Oliver is able to change the atmosphere with a simple sentence. It causes his dearie to think that she was overacting. It eventually gets to the point it makes her want to quit, but as she searches for something new, roadblocks pop up.

Things like businesses going under, people dying, and other horrible misfortunes. All the while not realizing Oliver’s sweet little flying bunnies had a hand in causing it. They are his eyes and ears, telling them the information that he could not pry from her lips. Sometimes they are his little thieves and take things from her home for him to alter.

All these elements lead to self-isolating behavior. As much as it pains Oliver to have her distant, it helps in the end. Though he was suspected in the beginning, she never had proof or some kind of connection. So, when he reveals himself, she is pissed. Screams and accusations are thrown and he just giggles.

China – Jin uses others to stalk his Qin. It's simple to him because he knows that unless love is involved, anyone will sell out another.

There are many people that buy from Jin. The types range from all walks and this gives him an advantage. Jin makes it simple, watch his Qin and report back to him. As long as his new employee doesn’t cross any lines, then a huge discount is applied to whichever of his products that they desire.

From there, information and pictures are gathered quickly. Eventually, these aren’t enough for Jin, so he goes and sees her in person. During these times, Jin will sit right in her line of sight. Maybe even a quick bump to interact with her. He lives for these times, though throughout it all Jin is still hiring people to find more information about her.

His darling is less likely to feel paranoid overall because it isn’t a single person just staring. It's people from all walks of life and sometimes attached to her life that the information is coming from. This creates a bubble of safety that he can exploit.

Once the bubble is popped, Qin will cry and panic. She will have realized that she should have been more cautious, but it’s too late now.

Russia – Viktor will operate in a very ordered way. His stalking is always connected to his preparations for their new life together.

When he starts Viktor takes watching his родная seriously, he uses his men at first to make her more comfortable. They are to watch from a distance and report her daily schedule back to him. Once the schedule is set, then Viktor comes to do things in person.

He walks into her home, like it's his, and looks for the most personal things. Diaries are read, medications are written down, preferences of food and clothing are noted. Viktor will analyze the deeper behaviors of his родная. This will help him understand her relationships, and what he needs to fulfill her emotional needs.

Throughout it all, Viktor will visit her occasionally. His visits are usually in a professional setting. It creates a sense of expectation for both and helps take the suspicion off him. This also helps Viktor to understand which situations his родная is most comfortable in. This will help when it comes to kidnapping later on.

Overall the moment Viktor has all the information he needs from the stalking, he strikes. It's shocking, because she was taken at a moment when no one would have guessed. This man that родная has had few encounters with is now standing across from her. He is claiming his love, and she is doing her best to hold it all together.

#yandere hetalia #yandere #2p headcanons #2p hetalia #2p allies #2p america #2p canada #2p france #2p england #2p china #2p russia

[houseofdabs]

fic idea: lester and jonesy scramble to get ingredients and find the recipe for the cake momma always used to bake the twins on their birthday. they are inept.

THIS IS SO CUTE AAA !!

warnings: slight mentions of abuse ---------------------------------------

Lester knew how his older siblings didn't really care for birthdays --at least not Bo-- it was kind of a sensitive topic as most familial holidays were for the Sinclair siblings, seeing as they lacked the proper warmth that their parents should have offered. The only semblance of affection was bestowed onto Vincent, being as he was their mother's favorite, and in turn, their father's as well. When holidays came their parents did attempt to share the sentiment with their two other kids, but it was stark in comparison to what Vincent received; it was like they were dogs receiving scraps while the real family sat at the table and enjoyed their meal. Thinking about it made Lester upset and he didn't like to dwell on it too much, he was determined to pick up the slack from his parents and reinstate the feel good emotions that holidays should have brought.

Now how was the question, and a damn good one at that. It wasn't that Lester wasn't good at planning things, he was quite good, in fact former partners always boasted about how thoughtful he was when it came to things like this. But this time was different. Sure he loved the ones that used to be in his life, but these were his brothers who he knew might not react positively to it, he didn't want to dig up any bad memories. And yeah, people liked parties and having things given to them, but when you grow up expecting that same loving hand to strike you, it's hard to cherish the good when you know terrible is right around the corner. It hurt Lester that his brother's couldn't appreciate even the smallest things, and it made him hate his parents for making it that way, but he would never mention it to the other two.

That's when he remembered his mom's old recipe book, she was a horrible mother but a damn good baker, and if he was right he'd be able to find that one caramel cake recipe she always made for his siblings on their birthday. He'd set out to get the ingredients, they were on a budget but Lester had set aside some money to get the good stuff, anything for his brothers. All he needed was some company.

Jonesy.

Pup at his feet and directions in hand, Lester sought to set everything out, he had borrowed some cook ware from the house but he'd bring it back when he was done, maybe not clean but returned. He was confident as he measured out the ingredients but with each step he followed his faith wavered. "Y'know girl, this'sa LOT harder than I had reckoned." Lester looked down as Jonesy who just stared up at him with her head tilted.

Determined, Lester continued on whisking and adding and folding till his arms were sore, his mama made it look so easy. He was so caught up in his stumbling over the batter he completely forgot about the beast that would be the icing, and just like with the batter he shook off any concerns, how hard could it be?

He set the ingredients in the pan to melt and went back to pouring the batter in the cake pan before setting it in the heated oven. Directing his attention back to the icing, he noticed it had melted all together and he checked the instructions for what to do next. "Okay girly, it says-- TWO HOURS?" His eyes bulged as he stared down at the paper, he hadn't remembered it taking that long and he didn't have the time to wait.

"Okay y'know what we're g'na do? Not that," Lester set the paper down and turned the eye up to a higher degree, "if it's hotter it'll cook faster, now ain't I smart?" He chuckled as Jonesy barked a response. "You said it sister."

Lester watched as the contents of the pot bubble as it turned a caramel color, stirring it occasionally. He decided to put on some records to help pass the time as he waited for the cake to bake. "S'too quiet," He muttered and cranked the knob to his old boombox as the voice of Merle Haggard flowed from the speakers and into the small kitchen, "there, thas better." He looked at Jonesy before patting his chest, and invitation for her to jump up and dance with him. He held the dog's paws as he swayed and sang along.

"♫ A workin' man can't get nowhere today ♫"

He grinned and stepped with the dog, "Ain't that right Jonesy girl!" Jonesy barked and Lester howled, encouraging her to make more noise. He was having such a good time with his dance partner that he forgot about the now burning icing on the stove. "Shoot!" Lester hissed and raced to stir the liquid and take it off the eye. It was a dark brown and Lester only hoped that it wasn't too bad cause he had used everything he bought and he didn't have enough to remake it. He could only hope that he didn't also mess up the cake.

Equipped with a butter knife, Lester opened the oven and stuck it in the middle of the cake before pulling it out, something he'd seen his mom do, except he didn't know what to look for. He noticed how the top was cooked and it was squishy when he pressed into it, so he pulled it out. Soon the cake was covered in the dark caramel icing and he swore at himself for lacking his mother's artistic ability, wanting to decorate the cake but deciding that he didn't want to mess it up further. He let the cake cool as he gathered everything in his truck, making sure to remember his brothers' presents.

He had gotten Bo a portable jump starter, something he had seen someone use when he was stuck on the side of the road. Lester knew the battery on Bo's truck had seen better days and he for sure didn't want his older brother stuck somewhere. And for Vincent he knew he had to get him this old brush carrier he had seen while he was browsing some antique shop, he even managed to sweet talk the lady up front to hold it for him till he could afford it. The holder was sturdy and made out of leather that had softened from years of use, on the back had flowers and leaves carved into it, nothing too 'pretty' but something artsy that he knew his brother would like. He had also snagged some whiskey while out shopping, hoping that it would help with the nerves of them all.

Once everything was packed in his truck, Jonesy included, he set off to Ambrose, careful to not hit any bumps and disturb the dessert that sat between him and the animal. He said a silent prayer as he crept towards the washed out road, hoping that no one was at Ambrose besides his brothers, that'd be a real thorn in his side and would surely ruin his plan. As he drove through the town he breathed out a sigh of relief as he noticed nothing out of the ordinary, even better that Bo was too busy in his garage to pay any attention to him as he drove by and up to the house.

Lester was careful with taking everything in, not wanting to make too much commotion in case Vincent was up in the house and not in his workshop. Finally everything was set in the kitchen, he even cleaned up a little, more in compensation for taking and making a mess of the dishes but he wanted it to look a little nicer. He was giddy and he didn't know what to do next, did he get Bo or Vincent first? He really hoped they would like it, he would understand if they didn't, but he really did want today to be good for them. He decided to put on some music to drown out the silence the house held, it always unsettled him how quiet it could get.

Soon Lester was accompanied by the sound of Johnny Cash's 'Big River' and the house felt less vacant, he knew his brother's liked different types of music but they never grew out of their taste of the old country tapes his parents had. For a second he wondered if maybe the music might throw everything off, remind them too much of ma and pa, but he pushed the thought down when he remembered how well Bo and music paired after a few drinks.

After he decided everything was ready, Lester headed off to the House of Wax first, seeing as Vincent would listen to him if he asked him to wait in the living room whereas Bo would demand to know what's going on. Jonesy pranced alongside him, her collar jingling softly as she bounced with each step. "Hey girl, you excited?" He asked as they stopped outside the House of Wax before leaning down to pet her head. Jonesy barked and her tail wagged as she basked in the affection Lester was giving her.

The two were in and out quick, Lester telling Vincent to wait for him in the living room and leaving before his brother could respond. It had been easy but he knew getting Bo to come without question would be harder. As he and Jonesy walked to the gas station he went over in his head how would ask Bo without giving away too much, did they even know it was their birthdays? Lester stopped in his tracks.

Did they even know it was their birthdays?

Surely they had to, if they did they hadn't said anything about it. It made him sad when he thought about how it meant nothing to them, but to him it was the biggest day ever, it was the day two of the most important people came to be, two people he loved so much it hurt. He'd be damned if he let his parents continue to torment his brothers from the grave, to hell with them, Lester and his brothers were better without them and he'd show them.

With new found confidence he marched to the garage where his older brother was, head ducked under a hood of some car doing god knows what. Without looking up Bo called to him, "Hand me that wrench will'ya?" He extended his hand and waited for Lester to drop the metal tool in his hand before continuing to tinker with the vehicle. After a few beats Bo addressed him again, "Wha'cha want? M'busy."

Lester wrung the hem of his shirt in his hands as his mind scrambled to find what to say, finally settling on "I need ya up at th'house, got sumn to show ya." He turned on his heel and made his way back to the family home, ignoring Bo's demands for an answer. "I guess you'll have t'come and find out I s'pose!" He hollered back at his brother.

Upon entering the house Lester saw Vincent sitting on the couch, waiting like he expected him to be. Not too long after Lester came in Bo followed, his brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at both of his brothers. "Kay what? Th'hell you drag me up here for? Wha'cha gotta show me?"

Lester motioned for them to follow as he led them to the kitchen, Jonesy racing to be in front of the brothers, evidently more excited than the three men. On arrival Bo asked again what was going on and Lester so badly wished his brother had more patience. "Well..." He had started as he glanced between his brothers and then towards the pan that sat on the kitchen table. "Happy birthday?" Automatically Bo let out and groan and Lester had to move to stop him from leaving.

"You dragged my ass all the way up'ere t'tell me that? I'on got time fer this shit, told'ya I was busy." He stared down at his little brother before watching as his twin inspected the pan, peeling back the foil to reveal a cake, or something resembling a cake-- was it a cake? The fuck Lester bring with him?

Vincent turned back to dig through a drawer, grabbing a cake cutter and some plates from a cabinet. Lester stared at his feet as he shuffled slightly, embarrassed from the rejection. "Might not be good but I made a cake, got y'all sumn too.." His voice was small as he spoke to his brother, avoiding eye contact as he lifted his gaze.

Bo's face fell from anger to neutral as he watched his baby brother fidget, obviously upset from his reaction. "Shit, what th'hell, I reckon I could use a break." He ignored how fast Lester's expression lifted and instead head towards the table where the cake laid, "This car'mel cake?" Bo's eyebrows shot up and Vincent handed him a plate, he was shocked, he didn't know Lester was able to make it. He cut him a nice sized piece with his fork and shoveled it into his mouth.

Okay maybe he got ahead of himself with assuming.

The cake was mealy and the icing was burnt, the fuck did Lester do to this poor cake?

Lester watched as Bo stood there, a bite in his mouth but now chewing. "Well.. i'shure ish a cake" Bo muttered from behind the ruined dessert, trying to not hurt his brother's feelings too bad.

"Oh." Lester felt his shoulders slump and he held back a sigh, he had really really wanted the cake to be decent, "Y'ain't gotta eat it f'is bad.." He mumbled and watched as Vincent chewed his bite very slowly. Bo was quick to swallow, spitting it out would be too rude and he didn't think he could handle his little brother being more upset from the gesture. "Tasted like shit," he laughed and raked his plate in the trash before making his way to Lester, "well, it wasn't that bad but.." he paused, "but I sure do 'preciate it.." Before he could give it a second thought, Bo engulfed his little brother in his arms for a short embrace which Lester was quick to reciprocate. After a little Bo pulled away.

"So, what was that 'bout you gettin' us sumn?"

------------------------------

i didnt do much to correct any errors, its super late, hope yall enjoy it

#oooo this shit got me so soft #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #lester sinclair #jonesy sinclair #house of wax #bo sinclair fluff #vincent sinclair fluff #lester sinclair fluff #house of wax 2005 #slasher writing #fluff #sinclair brothers #sinclair siblings #sinclair twins #houseofdabs writing #asks

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

killing peggy carter

summary: you want revenge bc steve’s a bitch. (happy times, save for steve’s disappearance. everyone’s alive tho)

warnings: a darker steve. rough smut, a little questionable at times. a lot of angst bc i was in a mood.

pairing: steve rogers x reader, peggy carter x reader for a sec, and some steve x peggy ( 🤢 )

word count: about 9,800

a/n: not tagging anyone bc no one asked for this, i literally just wrote it like forever ago and decided to post it bc i haven’t posted in forever. also, if you go back far enough on my blog, you will see that i watch riverdale and honestly, i came up with this title before jughead wrote his emo story in the finale.

When Steve left, it was nothing short of devastating.

Your world had stopped. How could it not? You had been under the impression that someone was in love with you as much as you were in love with them. And god, you were so damn in love with Steve Rogers.

It had been a year and it still hurt just like it had that first day. You were better at hiding it now, using that as the only entertainment in your life. Being an Avenger wasn’t the same as it used to be. The world was good, you weren’t needed. Especially not while all these feelings of anger and resentment were growing inside you.

When Steve left, he took a lot. He took your heart, your soul, your fucking will to love and let yourself be loved, and he took your ability to be a hero. No hero had the darkness you had. No hero stayed out most nights dancing in sweaty and noisy clubs, being groped by strangers she couldn’t even take home because she was the definition of damaged. You had trust issues for days, and they weren’t going anywhere any time soon, if ever.

Bucky tried to help and sometimes, you had the energy to fake it. It always made him so happy to see you smiling or just talking to other men who clearly were attracted to you. But nothing would come of it. You couldn’t believe a word that any one of them said.

Steve used to look at you, tell you he loved you, tell he needed you, that he couldn’t do any of this without you. Then he had the chance to go back to Peggy Carter and he took it in a second, no hesitation. He didn’t even say goodbye.

You stayed out on the lake for three months, figuring he’d just gotten tied up. He would come back, you told yourself that every night. What finally broke you was when Nat and Bucky sat you down and told you it wasn’t going to happen. You’d always known but with confirmation from the two people that knew him best, you had to face reality. He’d left you and he wasn’t coming back.

It was a huge hit to your self-esteem. Maybe if you had been prettier. Smarter. Stronger. Better. But you were just you. Petty, small, aching. Ironically, that was how he had found you as well. The Avengers liked to bring in team members who had already been through too much. You hadn’t realized how vulnerable your past trauma made you to their type of coercion. You would do anything any of them asked. With Steve, it was different. More. And he had always known.

There was this pain in your chest that never went away. Sometimes you woke up gasping in the middle of the night, usually after a nightmare. It was as if there had been a hand around your neck. But there wasn’t because you were as alone as anyone could possibly be.

You didn’t mind it anymore. Hell, it was the only thing that you still had left of Steve. You burned everything else and not even that made you feel better. This was all much to Bucky’s dismay.

You would never tell a soul that you couldn’t part with his sketchbooks, that you had them hidden in a box underneath your bed. It was no one’s right to know. This pain was your own, the only thing you still had possession of.

You hadn’t been touched in his absence, even by yourself. It reminded you of all those times he would kiss along your skin and sing praises to your beauty. Sometimes, you wished you were ugly. Sometimes, you wished you could just get so ugly that no one would even want to look at you.

But that was not the case. You were that beautiful, strong, and caring woman Steve had fallen in love with, so they claimed. You were their responsibility. Their project. They would get you through this if it was the last thing they did. Nat, Bucky, and Sam tried merely out of their loyalty to Steve. Tony followed that lead and that meant Peter tried as well as he could. Wanda, still consumed by her own lost love, attempted, but she was probably the only person who could see you for what you were.

Thrown out trash. Abandoned, sharp pieces that could and would cut anyone who tried to help. You hated all the rest of them for not seeing it. You hated all the rest of them because in their eyes, you were still Steve’s girl.

You no longer had a boyfriend, a family, or friends. He took all of that away from you. And one day, when you were so sick of having nothing to do but feel sorry for yourself, you decided that you were going to return that favor.

Steve Rogers deserved to be just as heartbroken and empty as you. It drove you crazy. He had been the one to pursue you. He had been the one to insist that you were his, even said you were the best thing to ever happen to him.

Talking Bruce into helping was laughably easy. You claimed to need closure. You claimed you just wanted to know that Steve was happy. You wanted to tell him you forgave him. Bruce hadn’t seen you look this happy in a long while so he did what anyone would and said yes.

You wanted to wait. Steve was always so sentimental, the anniversary of the day he met Peggy was probably a day of extreme affection in their house. He probably made her breakfast, bought her some piece of jewelry that she wouldn’t even like, and spent all day telling her how much he loved her. You wanted to crash the party.

Part of you wished there was another way to do this, but there just wasn’t. Killing Peggy was the only way to take anything from him, and you had these dark fantasies that he would then kill you in retaliation. What a beautiful way to go, you hoped he would strangle you. You hoped he would set you on his lap one final time, wrap his hands around your neck, and stare into your eyes until you were gone.

Peggy was a great person, that much you felt bad about. But hadn’t Steve practically murdered you? And you were a great person before all of this. An eye for an eye. Did he think you were just going to disappear? No, he wasn’t going to get away with this any longer. He wasn’t going to get his happiness after he had ruined your whole life.

You wanted some years on them, you told Bruce ten years. Steve would be just shy of 50. You wondered what he’d look like. When he left, he had just started to get some gray hairs. You could remember that morning vividly. You wouldn’t have noticed if the sun hadn’t been shining in through the blinds perfectly onto his blonde hair. He blushed about 7 shades of red, but you promised him you didn’t mind. Because you loved him. He said he loved you back. Like an idiot, you believed him.

You arrived in his time with little care to how you looked. You weren’t here for anyone but him. You didn’t mind that everyone was staring at you oddly because instead of some huge, ugly dress, you were wearing black pants, a low-cut t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

You did need a weapon, however. Guns were cowardly. Poison could be fun. A knife, though. A knife would certainly get the point across. You tucked it into your boot and then you were on your way.

You found Peggy’s house easily. Bruce had made sure you knew where you were going and what to do if they had moved or anything like that. You’d known they would be in the same place. You’d known Steve would want to live in this domestic, pathetic lie.

There was a window that looked into the living room. It was mid-day, you figured Peggy was at work. What did Steve even do? Was there a specific activity he liked pairing with all the pure nothingness he was doing while his best friend suffered in Hydra’s hands?

You saw him sitting in a recliner in what you assumed was the living room. His hair was almost all gray, he’d cut it much shorter. Like how he used to have it, before everything with Tony and Bucky. Like how he had it when you met him. His beard was just as light and he had a few prominent wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth. But that was as far as his aging went. His arms were still huge, his shoulders so broad, and you had the strongest feeling that that ass had held up.

You were about to go in, make your presence known when you realized he was reading a book. Your favorite book. He must have taken it with him because that looked distinctly like one of your many copies you hadn’t seen for quite some time.

You were furious, shaking and seeing red. No matter how hard you tried to breathe, you just couldn’t. You were going to cut Peggy’s heart about and show it to him. You were going to cover that ugly house with her blood. You were going to wreck him just as much as he wrecked you.

You watched Steve for three months and came to the harrowing conclusion that he was severely unhappy. Peggy would come home and they wouldn’t speak. They would sit down for dinner and say maybe five sentences to one another. They went to bed together, sometimes they had sex. You never stuck around for that because not only was that a major violation of her privacy, but damn, they were fucking boring.

When she woke up in the morning, he wouldn’t get up until she was gone. Then he would go for his run, you followed a couple of times as best you could to see if there was a piece of this puzzle you were missing. When he returned home, he would read or watch television, he went for a second run a few hours later, and returned home to do absolutely nothing but await her return.

Should this have made you happy? It didn’t. He would rather be unhappy with her than happy with you. But that was for one reason: his pride. He didn’t want to crawl back to you and admit that he made a mistake.

Your goals changed. You wanted to make him admit it. Not with words, he would never do that. But Steve was a faithful man. If you got him to stray, it would be indisputable.

You waited one morning until he was out on his run, then snuck into the house. You went through their kitchen, sometimes you moved things just to be a bitch. You went through their bedroom and discovered that Peggy had a terrible contraption that had the audacity to call itself a sex toy. That would be nice to throw in Steve’s face.

You tossed it onto the bed and got undressed as you made your way to the shower. Steve wouldn’t be gone much longer. And he would know something was very wrong when he saw your clothes.

You washed your hair, used Peggy’s soap, and only had to wait a couple of minutes after that. You heard him call out her name a few times. But then he got to the bedroom and you heard his steps hesitating.

“Peggy?”

He wouldn’t say your name, not ever. Because he could be wrong, he could be delusional. And to admit that he was still thinking about you after all this time, that was his idea of a loss.

You didn’t grab a towel as you pulled the shower curtain back and shut off the water. Dripping wet, you carefully padded across the tile floor and then out to the bedroom.

His eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. “What...what are you doing here?”

You shrugged, glancing around. “Thought I deserved a vacation.”

“Y/N, I am so—”

“Pathetic? Weak? Yeah, don’t worry, I know.” You moved closer to him, eyeing him pitifully. You were glad that you hadn’t crumbled. Months ago, you would have given anything just to hear his voice, just to see his fucking eyes. God, you hated him now.

“You’re angry, I understand.”

“Angry?” you scoffed. “Add dumb to the list.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you—”

“You didn’t hurt me, you piece of shit. You destroyed me, you ruined my life. For all intents and purposes, you killed me. And I’m here to get my revenge.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Revenge?”

You reached out to touch his face, trailed your fingers along his bottom lip. “Yeah, payback. I’m going to make sure I make you feel what you made me feel.”

He glared up at you. “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes.”

He finally stood, towering over you.

“Mmm, how I’ve missed this body.” You pressed yourself against him and as much as he acted like he didn’t like it, he never pulled away or tried to push you back. You were getting him wet and his shirt was starting to cling to his abs. You let your hands wander for a moment before they dropped down to his pants.

“Stop,” he said quietly.

And you did because you were never going to allow him to lie. Your turned up to him and stepped back.

He looked torn apart, confused. “Why are you here?”

You shrugged. “Why not?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well, it’s all you’re getting. You don’t need any other answer.”

“So, what’s the plan? How are you going to get your revenge?”

“I know you, Steve, I know that you believe in being a good and faithful man. I just want you to fuck me. That’s all.”

“Well, you know that’s not going to happen. You know I would never—”

“Cheat? So, then you’ve never fucked Peggy?”

“What?”

“You never left me, you never told me we were done. You, like the coward you are, just didn’t come back. Every time you’ve been with her is a lie, a cheat. You are a cheater.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?! You keep acting like there was just one thing! There were a million things, Steve. You ruined everything that we were building. And you can apologize all you want, but until I return at least half of it, I’m stuck here with you.”

“I won’t fuck you.”

“Yet,” you pointed out. “Well, I should be going.”

He grabbed your arm. “Go home.”

“I am home, baby. You’re here and you’re my home.”

He frowned.

You yanked yourself out of his hold, bending over to grab your clothing all over the room. He wasn’t going to fuck you but that did not mean he wasn’t going to look at you. So, you gave him quite the show, just like you had in the past upon his request.

You disappeared into the bathroom as if it was so natural, as if it was your own. He made no moves to follow and said nothing. As you dried yourself off, you decided now was as good a time as any. “See that terrible thing on your bed?”

You heard him step a few times, then nothing.

You scoffed. “Maybe it has to do with your age.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Still. Pretty creepy you came back to a much younger Peggy.”

“I came back to the one I left.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” You sauntered out and sent him one last smile before exiting the bedroom.

Peggy and Steve had a fight, so Peggy ducked out to some small diner. If you couldn’t get to him, you decided you were going to get to her. Peggy was sweet from the second you began speaking to her, feigning concern for her situation.

The first night you guys went out together, you wanted her to talk shit about Steve. She didn’t, she just got drunk and tried to get you much the same. You were taking her home because you truly were fearful of what would become of her without your help. And she kissed you. At first, you were startled, you pulled away out of fear and shock. She wasn’t Steve. In all your life since you’d met him, you never thought someone else was going to kiss you.

But then she looked terrified. Had she been reading you wrong? Had she messed everything up? Nah, you were adaptable. You kissed her back, explained you’d been hurt by some loser and it had been a while. She understood, or said she did, and then she was disappearing inside.

You were left wondering if Steve heard you, but not many lights in the house were on. He probably wasn’t home. Confirmed by your unlocked hotel door when you returned home just a couple of hours before sunrise.

Knowing it was him didn’t mean you weren’t going to pull your gun as you entered. He was sitting in one of the chairs at the tiny table near the tiny kitchen.

He arched an eyebrow. “That necessary?”

“I should have shot you the second I got here.” But you still tossed it onto the bed. “You know...this paints quite a scene, doesn’t it? You’re here, angry at me for being out late.” You let your purse fall to the floor, then your hideous cardigan. You had only shown up with one outfit, so shopping was necessary to keep up appearances. You didn’t know a lot about the 40s, but you didn’t want them to start burning women at the stake again because of you.

You made your way to him, straddling his lap as you took his face in your hands. “Are you upset that I broke curfew, daddy?”

He didn’t even bat an eye, but you knew that would get to him. “Where were you?”

“Out with your future wife.” One of many kickers, they had yet to get married. Peggy said it was because she wanted to wait. “Thought she would be willing to talk shit about you...thought it would make me feel better.”

“And? Did she give you anything you can use against me in the future?”

“Nah. She didn’t want to talk about you at all.”

He glared. “When are you going home?”

She shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it.” Your eyes moved over his face as you felt the deeply etched lines on his skin. “You don’t look 50 but I never thought... You remember when I found your gray hair?”

“Yeah... Thought you would leave me...that you’d want someone your age.”

“I like you like this, you know. Twice my age.”

“Have there been others?”

And just like that, the end of your friendly conversation. You pulled your hands away from him but stayed on top of him. “Others?”

“People...men you’ve let close.”

You scoffed. “Why would I do that?”

“I wanted...I thought you would move on.”

“People lie,” you pointed out. “You told me you loved me every day and then you just left. I can’t adequately explain to you how tired I am. I can’t do it again, I can’t even let myself try. I can’t get close to people the way I was close to you. I can’t move on. I can’t love someone else. I can’t do anything but hate you as much as I loved you.”

“I wasn’t lying—”

“You left. If you loved me as much as you said you did, you wouldn’t have been able to.”

“I do love you—”

You immediately pulled off him, rushing to get your feet back on the floor. No, no fucking way, he was not going to lie to you again. He was simply not allowed to anymore. You would not tolerate it.

“Y/N—”

“Get out of my hotel!” You pointed to the door. “Now, Steve, or I swear I will shoot you.”

He scoffed. “For what? Loving you?”

“You piece of shit.” You didn’t wait for him to say anything else. You stormed to the bathroom and locked the door before he could intrude yet again.

He knew you wouldn’t come back out, not while he was still there. All he could do was leave. For safe measure, he at least unloaded your gun and set it on the bedside table. Maybe if you had to find it and load again, you would lose some of your anger and not ended up taking a shot at him.

How dare he? He had no right to say that to you, no right to use that word. It meant nothing coming from him because there was the implied ‘but’ along with it. Before, he just loved you. Period. Now? He loved you. But what? He loved Peggy more? He loved this time more?

You thought you had been angry before. Even though the time you were spending with Peggy was diffusing that somewhat. Still, you never lost sight of what you wanted. Needed. The idea of Steve’s heartbreak was the only thing that could get you up in the morning.

He threw you off for a few days. Every time you tried to leave the hotel room just to do something a tad evil, you would end up in bed crying. Steve thankfully didn’t try to come back, you hated the thought of him seeing you like this, letting him know that he could still do this to you.

Peggy called. You gave her the number, just in case, and she used it to express her concern for you. It wasn’t like you not to want to hang out or to just be around and bump into her “randomly”. She invited you out for breakfast the first day, then lunch the next. You said you weren’t feeling well.

An excuse she stopped taking the third night. She wanted to go dancing with you, all while her asshole boyfriend stayed at home. How could you say no? You shouldn’t, this was the entire reason you were here.

You would kill her tonight. This time was a drag and you wanted to get home. To a place where you could wear pants or a t-shirt. A place where there weren’t so many preppy men in pastels or college sweaters.

Peggy picked you up, she wouldn’t stop staring. Had it been any other day, you might have even questioned why. But you weren’t going to enjoy this as much as you thought you would. It sucked, and honestly, it made you hate Steve even more. He was your downfall, he was also her downfall, but at least he would soon be utterly alone.

It had been hours. You were just trying to dance and let the music fill your mind, but this music was shit. If you had to hear one more man sing about wanting to hold a woman’s hand… Truly, you missed the filth of your time.

Peggy was the one that wanted to leave. Peggy was the one that wanted to walk away from all the noise of the city. Peggy was the one that took you to some sleazy motel, where she gave you the briefest of looks when she’d stopped you both on the sidewalk. She was also the one that kissed you when you didn’t say anything because what did you have to actually say?

Nothing. Not one thing. You had no idea how this plan had spiraled so terribly. You were meant to come here, kill her, throw it in Steve’s face, then bolt back home like none of it ever happened.

But you couldn’t kill her, not anymore, not after seeing what a miserable life she had with Steve. You hoped she would leave him, and not just to hurt him, but to help herself. You remembered the life she had in your world, the one she had created with your husband. It was so much better than the hell she was living in here.

So, you let her take you to a room. You let her kiss you, you let her tear your dress off, push you onto the bed, and crawl on top of you. Her lips moved everywhere over your legs, arms, and stomach, and they felt like fire because they belonged to someone who wasn’t Steve.

You hated how guilty you felt. You hated that your mind was seriously considering this a betrayal, cheating. But you were trying to be kinder to yourself. It wasn’t your fault that you had fallen so hard for someone and that you had made plans because someone had promised you forever.

She knew you were thinking about him. Not Steve, of course, but the someone you had once mentioned. She didn’t mind, she just promised she would try to make you forget. You forced yourself to be present, you turned off your mind when you could. She didn’t ask a lot of you, in reality.

She wanted to be on top, she wanted you to say her name and wouldn’t let you come until you asked nicely. It was probably around the third orgasm that you stopped feeling so awful, that all of those familiar sensations weren’t triggering memories and bitter resentment. That was what she gave you with her mouth alone and didn’t move until it was evident that your thoughts had simply melted away.

When she crawled back up to kiss you, she buried her fingers inside you. At that point, who the hell even was Steve Rogers? A distant, dull pain. Peggy was here, on top of you, biting your lip, telling you to come one more time, because she knew you had it in you.

She told you that you were beautiful, that she’d never seen a body like yours. She told you that you made her feel things Steve couldn’t, that you were fun and warm and kind, and she loved spending time with you.

You were covered in sweat, your skin painted with her lipstick and bites and other marks she left all over your skin. She hadn’t come yet and refused any offers you made her, she claimed she just wanted to focus on you for a moment.

When she finally pressed her soaking center against yours, you were in an odd amount of pain. You longed for something, so much, but you had no idea what. She pulled your hair, began kissing your neck, and rolled her hips hard. You pulled her hair back, pressed your hips up when she pressed down, whimpered her name, and told her she felt so good. It was when she started fucking you harder and faster, and you were getting really close once again, that you got the sick idea to rake your nails down her back. Hard enough to leave marks.

After her finish, she collapsed onto her side next to you. The way she looked at you was kind of scary, like you were worth a lot more than you knew you were. She also looked satisfied and you hadn’t seen that look since you’d shown up. And what a fucking crime that was. Yes, Steve was a dick, but fuck, that man could seriously fuck. Why was he denying her that?

You shoved her onto her back and sat on her face because you didn’t want to be thinking about him. She kept you there until you were shaking and so fuzzy you couldn’t even sit up on your own. A tad haphazardly, you insisted on getting your mouth on her. After some convincing on your part and a few pitying laughs from her as you nearly fell over the edge of the mattress because you were still dizzy, your tongue was sliding against her skin and her hands were locked in your hair.

She needed to get home, back to her boyfriend before he started to worry. You stuck around for a bit, reluctant to return to your apartment. Maybe this was it, maybe this was all you needed. Maybe it was just time to fucking go home.

You truly worried about all of the Bucky lectures you were going to get, all of those Natasha looks, those small ‘tsk’ sounds when Thor was not only upset but disappointed in you, the judgmental eyebrows Tony would be sending your way, and those puppy dog eyes from Peter. Goodness, you were sure Peter missed you. Bruce would never trust you again, no surprise there, you had lied to him. You hadn’t thought about the consequences of your actions when you first did this. You hated, at the time, that you didn’t care if you hurt anyone.

Game over. You weren’t going home not without having scored some points, but to win, you would just end up losing more. More, you now understood that you had taken all of it for granted. Yes, your friends were constant reminders of Steve and they had been acting like you were some mission they needed to complete, but at least they loved you. That was more than a lot of people had and you would let them know about all these epiphanies if they didn’t kill you as soon as you returned.

When you made it back to your apartment, it was only to get the necklace Wanda had given you a few years back for your birthday. It was this huge stone you never remembered the name of, something you rarely took off regardless of that.

The last thing you expected was to find Steve. He looked furious and maybe, just maybe, you were going to get the satisfaction of seeing that you hurt him before you left. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He was at the table again, jaw set, glaring at the wall straight ahead of him. You were trying to think if you’d ever seen him this angry, if you’d ever even heard stories of it. Probably not. He liked to act like you were so damn delicate. Though, maybe he had been onto something.

“Hey,” you snapped after receiving no response, “Why the fuck are you in my hotel room?”

Finally, he turned to you and for the first time ever, you were scared of him.

You kept your distance, you even began moving toward your bedside table where you had your gun stashed.

“I hope you’re not looking for this.” He reached down for a moment then tossed it onto the table noisily.

Shit. “Steve…”

“You fucked her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stood quickly, storming over to you. For a moment, you had been stunned, and it was enough for him to get several upper hands. It wasn’t as if he needed them to begin with, but with your delayed scattering back, he was able to grab you and pin you to the wall. You were completely defenseless in stupid, impractical heels and an ugly, impractical dress.

“Tell me you didn’t fuck her.”

You said nothing.

He scoffed harshly. “I fucking smelled you all over her…and now I smell her on you. You left those scratches on her back because you wanted me to know.”

“Honestly, I thought I would be gone by the time you found out or by the time you decided to confront me. In fact, if you leave now, I’ll be gone and you’ll never have to see me again.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“What? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

He didn’t say anything, instead, he grabbed the neckline of your dress and tore it open. He paid no mind to your startled shoving at his chest. His eyes moved over your skin quickly, you could tell he was getting angrier with every bruise he found.

You were going to play this off, bat away at his feelings just long enough for you to escape. “Steve, I—”

He grabbed your jaw and you immediately shut up. “Go take a shower.”

Your eyebrows pulled together.

“Now.”

“No, you fucking—”

“You can do it on your own or I can do it for you. But to be clear, I will not ask again, and I’m gonna count to ten before I really lose my patience. One, two, three—”

“Steve,” you tried softly. He was still holding you there, so tight that the idea of moving was laughable.

“Four, five—”

“Steve,” you were a tad more frantic, pushing at his forearm.

“Six, seven.” He finally pulled away from you and you bolted to the bathroom without a second thought. He told you to leave the door open and you listened because you no longer had the desire to push him.

You came out in a towel several minutes later. Most of your shower was spent just trying to calm down, the rest was using any product you had to try to get rid of her scent. You didn’t want to risk further angering him with any lingering mentions of Peggy.

He was just feet away from the door when you stepped out and once again, he showed no hesitation in ripping away what covered your body. He looked you over again, briefer this time, obviously displeased with what he saw. He’d hoped most of it was just the lipstick Peggy always wore.

“Are you wet?”

“What?”

“Your pussy. Are you wet?” He was condescendingly slow with every single word and your hand suddenly itched with the need to smack him.

“No.”

“Well, you’re a liar, so I don’t believe you,” he countered. “Check.”

“What?”

“Check,” he repeated. “Now. And if I have to keep repeating myself, you’re not going to like the way this night plays out.”

You averted your gaze as you brought your hand to your center. Your breath caught audibly as you ran your fingers through. Yes, he was an ass, but your body would never stop craving his touch.

“Show me.”

Begrudgingly, you brought your hand back to him.

“Wow, how did I know you were lying? Touch yourself. Keep touching yourself until you come.”

You snorted. “Eww, no—”

He slammed his hand against the wall behind you and you fell silent again. “The same rules apply. Do it or I will do it for you.”

He had never spoken to you like this. Sure, there were the bad missions. There were the times when he just needed to fuck you to forget all the shit he had to deal with. But there was never a moment where you wondered if he would lose control, if he would hurt you unintentionally. Right now, maybe it wasn’t so much that you thought he would. You had known him long enough, loved him long enough, that you knew exactly what kind of man he was. Maybe, right now, it was that you wanted him to hurt you.

Nothing could be worse than when he left you. Nothing he did was going to hurt more than when you went back home and you were, once more, without him. Meaning that you wanted to take everything that you possibly could from this moment. All the pain, all the bruises, all those emotional scars that would add to the ones from before that you had idiotically convinced yourself you could ever get rid of.

He knew you were considering your next move and arched an eyebrow at your continuing silence.

You shook your head. “No.”

One of his hands shot up to wrap around your neck, the other hand went to your cunt where he slid two fingers into you with embarrassing ease.

You brought your hands up to his forearm and dug your nails into his skin. The harder you scratched him, the harder he would choke you—it was something established early on in your relationship. And if he was choking you, you couldn’t moan or whine like he wanted you to.

For a moment, you both stayed still. For an entire second, it wasn’t that he had left you, that you had to track him down, that you fucked his girlfriend and he was fucking furious about it. For a second, it was just you and him, like it was all the times before.

The problem was pride. It wasn’t like before and neither one of you wanted to let the other pretend. He hurt you. You hurt him. Before no longer mattered. So, you shut your eyes and turned your face away from him.

He thrust his fingers just slightly harder than you would have liked, slightly harder than he would have liked. It would sting in the morning, but you wouldn’t hate it. Crescent-shaped cuts would be found everywhere on his skin and he would mourn that they were healing too fast. Both of you knew that this was it. The end.

You were wet, that obscene sound drowning out your choked noises. He absolutely loved this, loved you. He had thought being with Peggy again would make him feel like he was finally home. It took him so long to figure out that he was wrong, to realize that you were one of the few people that actually felt like home. You and Bucky, Nat, Sam, Tony, Wanda, Thor. Not Peggy.

And he could no longer pretend when he felt you tighten around his fingers. He was fucked up and he ruined things a lot of the time. It was just in his DNA, even the fucking serum couldn’t fix that. But prior to leaving, he’d never ruined anything with you. He hadn’t realized how much he missed fucking you because he always did that right.

“Open your eyes,” he ordered.

Instead, you pushed harder at his arm and turned further away from him. Your hips started to buck against his hand, and he knew you wanted this, but he knew you were not going to give in without some fight.

“Open your fucking eyes, Y/N.”

You were not going to. After all the hell he’d put you through? Fuck that, fuck him. You were never going to give him anything he wanted ever again.

He yanked his hand away from your pussy and grabbed your jaw to turn your face to him. He knew that wouldn’t work alone and in a move of desperation, kissed you. A move to get you to let your guard down—a weak move that would not work. As his knee came up to your cunt and you began grinding against it, he started biting your lip.

You buried one hand in his hair and started pulling harder than you should have. He released your jaw to do the same to you. This was much different than how he usually touched you. He’d always been rough, but this hurt, actually hurt.

You rode his thigh with no assistance from him. He let your face go and dropped your hair in search of another tactic. You were no longer kissing, you instead rested your head on his shoulder, eyes still squeezed shut. Even when he grabbed your ass painfully, and when he smacked you after all you did was scream. Even when he grabbed your breasts and pulled on your nipples.

You kept your eyes shut the entire time and he was growing furious. He wasn’t going to let you feel anything even resembling pleasure if you weren’t going to give into him. He pulled away and grabbed your hips.

You opened your eyes then, concerned about what he was doing to you next. He grabbed your shoulder and shoved you onto the bed before you could say a word. You were on your stomach, facing away from him, busy lamenting the loss of your finish. You heard him undressing as you attempted to regain your breath and composure.

He was on top of you before that happened, yanking your legs open before he crawled up, hands stopping on either side of your head. He wasn’t going to tease, he was going to fuck you like the brat you were—hard, mean, unforgiving. He lowered his hips until his cock was lined up with your entrance and then thrust in.

Your scream must have scared the hell out of the neighbors. You wouldn’t be surprised if the cops were being called right then. It wasn’t a pleasurable scream, you certainly liked that he was inside you, but that was just your body. Your heart ached in a way that it never had. You’d thought you were never going to feel him again, but it wasn’t some beautiful feeling of reconnection. You were at square one, you would have to crave his body all over again once this was over. You would go through those same agonizing withdrawals that had truly destroyed you those first few months.

Steve grabbed your hair again and shoved your face into the mattress. He didn’t care about taking it slow, making sure that you, his precious, sweet girlfriend, were okay. He felt just as torn up as you and he couldn’t afford emotional consideration when he was so fucked up. He only knew what he wanted, for you to look at him like you used to. He would do whatever he had to do to get it. Part of him didn’t care how low he would have to go. He wasn’t Captain America here, he didn’t have to live up to the same standards.

You blindly reached back to try to catch his arm, but your attempts never even touched him. He didn’t seem to care about what you were attempting, he just fucked you. He held you down as his hips slammed against your ass and he moaned loudly, shamelessly, selfishly. You finally caught a hold of his arm and used the heel of your palm to push, but since you were out of breath and had been for quite some time, you doubted that there was any real force behind it.

“Can’t breathe, baby?” he wondered, hips still snapping, the head of his cock reaching that delicious spot inside you.

You dug your nails into his skin even though it was an uncomfortable stretch and your muscles were screaming. You were screaming, too, despite everything, despite the lack of strategy in that, but this felt too good not to. You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long, this was what you knew you would never get from someone else. This deep, soul-level connection was a one-time deal. No one else was ever going to be able to give you this.

“If I let you up, you better fucking look at me. I’m not kidding, Y/N. I’ll fucking hold you down again until I fucking come.”

Once his hand lifted from your head, you turned up and gasped for air. It was a short-lived relief as soon as his hand pressed into your neck and angled your head back. It wasn’t that you were scared, and you should have been because you wholeheartedly believed his threat, it was that you were happy to have an excuse to give in. He was stronger than you, right? No one could blame you for giving in, hell, you were just trying to save yourself. Right?

Your eyes met his and his hips stuttered. A ragged breath fell from his lips, you felt it on your hair. That hard look in his eyes softened, he looked a lot like that man that had promised you he would come back to you.

“I love you,” he breathed.

Your eyes instantly filled with tears and you clamped your mouth shut. Both hands were buried in the bedsheets because you needed something to hold, something to tear at, something to destroy to cope with the burning anger that was consuming you.

“I’m sorry, I love you.” His body moved erratically against yours, desperate for all the things he’d longed for since he’d left you. The two of you were sick together, desperate, twisted people that proved it in bed. Peggy wasn’t like that and he was drowning trying to act like he was normal, like he was that same man that she had been with what felt like centuries ago.

He collapsed, chin pressing into the bend of your neck, and you felt his cum spilling into you. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode out his finish. He didn’t stop, however, now he wanted to get you off. He wanted to feel those same pathetic, proud things he experienced whenever he played your body like an instrument.

You didn’t resist, what would be the point? You fucking deserved an orgasm, at the very least. You were ashamed to admit that you wanted it, needed it. You hadn’t honestly felt alive since he left you, but this reminded you what that was like.

He groaned when he felt you tightening around him, his hand wedging between you and the mattress to get to your clit. When he did, it was over and you crashed like a wave against the shore, and you saw stars, and you felt all those things you felt when you were happily in love with a man you thought loved you back.

So, in conclusion, you felt lies.

If he thought he could fuck reality out of your mind, he was sadly mistaken. You were coming down when your hand started sliding across the mattress. Your gun was not the only precaution you took—you’d known Natasha for years and she would strangle you if that was your only form of protection.

He was kissing down your spine when you located your knife, and he had just started to speak when you turned back and just stabbed. You had a general awareness of where he was, you knew you weren’t going to kill him, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to get away, before he started talking, apologizing, making more promises.

You didn’t wait to see where you stabbed, you simply clawed away from him until you could jump from the bed. He cried out and you heard him grabbing for you, but you couldn’t stop for anything. On your bedstand was the necklace you had shown up for, you grabbed it, along with your long coat and then you were on your way out the door.

Running around completely naked in the 40s, clutching a trench coat you knew you weren’t going to leave without, shoeless, dripping sweat and cum—you’d never thought your beautiful life with Steve Rogers would take you here.

A Bucky Barnes lecture was the last thing you wanted, but it was the only thing you would be receiving for probably several months. Well, when he was done with his silent treatment. He was furious when you returned, he didn’t say a word to you. Everyone else had completely fawned over you. They hugged you, pet your hair, told you how proud they were that you came home.

Bucky just stared at you and when they all parted so he could speak to you, he simply stormed out of Bruce’s lab. But yes, Bruce was a tad betrayed, your expectation on that had been correct. You apologized profusely and brought him coffee every day, several times a day until he stopped looking at you like a kicked baby animal.

Tony was disappointed, but not to Bucky’s extent. He simply could not fathom the hold Steve had on you still, told you as much. You admitted that you were wrong, and well, with Tony, that was really all he needed. He wanted to be right and he wanted you to tell him that you learned your lesson. To the untrained eye, he would look like a narcissist. But you knew him better, you knew he was just scared of losing you. Again. He merely wanted to know that you were sticking around and that was what you conveyed when you told him you had made a mistake going in the first place. He dropped it, like it never happened.

Natasha didn’t let you out of her sight for almost two complete weeks. She watched you and you felt her watching you, but she wasn’t going to pry. She was angry, but she was still handling you with gloves on. She wasn’t going to push you emotionally no matter how badly she wanted to. She also wasn’t going to ask questions, scared that prying would move you further away. You told her you saw Steve and that you got what you needed, she nodded, and that was the end of it. She still watched you, but she was slyer about it. She made sure you were in your room when she woke up and went to bed, but she took up Tony’s pretending routine as well.

Wanda didn’t need to ask anything; she knew because she read your thoughts. She knew because she had been outraged that you left without a goodbye, so she felt entitled to those thoughts. Not because she needed to know what happened but because she needed to know if you were going to try anything else again. She stopped being mad at you one day when you were making Bruce coffee. You hadn’t heard her, you were there in the kitchen, stuck in your own thoughts. She hugged you tight, didn’t say a word, but just like that, it was over.

Almost everyone had gotten over it in record time. You knew you were an asshole and you apologized, and you meant it, but even if you hadn’t, it wasn’t like they were ever going to hold it against you. Sometimes, knowing that, it made you feel worse because these people loved you and just like Steve had done to you, you hurt them. In the exact same way. You left.

Sam was in a much more difficult position. He felt a duty to you as one of Steve’s closest friends, but he also felt for Bucky. You’d really hurt Bucky and Sam could forgive you for being reckless, psychotic almost, even selfish. But the look on Bucky’s face when they discovered that you were gone was a hard thing to shake.

He stopped ignoring you after a couple of days, but the conversations were short, shallow. He didn’t ask about your time there and he didn’t ask about your feelings after. It was all small talk and polite conversation, it seemed like you barely knew each other at all. But sometimes, you would catch him watching you, like he was looking for signs of something that he couldn’t ask you. He wanted to know if you were still torn up by this Steve thing.

You were. You cried a lot, as if it happened all over again. Technically, in a way, it did. But you didn’t show them that, it was no longer their burden to bear. You had caused them pain when they tried to take yours away. You waited until you were alone or out of the tower, you cried quietly and quickly. You did not allow yourself those days where you would just hole up in your room. You were always awake early, asleep late, and you took care of yourself because you owed them all at least that.

You knew when Bucky was less angry, but you weren’t going to approach him. You were totally fine just waiting for him to let you know when he wanted to speak to you, which was one random morning after you’d finished sparring with Nat.

He was waiting outside the gym, muttered that he wanted to speak to you, and even Natasha had the good sense to get lost. It wasn’t going to be pretty, that much was clear. It was in his tone, his eyes, his tense posture.

He took you back to your room and ordered you to sit on the foot of your bed. He paced for a long time and you didn’t say a word or make a sound. When he finally looked at you, you seriously worried he might kill you. He was angry all over again, had worked himself up with his thoughts but you weren’t sure why entirely.

“Did you see him?”

You nodded.

“You talked to him.”

“About…everything? Um, no, not really.” There hadn’t been that conversation. Any attempts on Steve’s part were expertly diverted by you, with all your ill intentions and knowledge of how to get under Steve’s skin.

He nodded curtly. “So, this was for nothing then? You put me through all of this shit for nothing?”

“Bucky, I’m really so—”

He was storming out of the room before you finished your sentence.

You didn’t see him for two days, and when you did, it was clear again, you would be getting more silence. You told yourself you couldn’t be that hurt. You’d hurt him first, that meant he had the right to express his feelings even if that resulted in him not speaking to you.

Several days later, Bucky dropped his Winter Solider persona and became a worried, bitter mother hen. You were sick, it wasn’t something that you thought was a big deal. He’d come to speak to you again and with his enhanced hearing, heard you puking in the bathroom.

When you were done, he forced you back into bed and got Bruce. Bruce did the usual, it wasn’t as if anyone was worried, he was just too scared not to indulge Bucky. Speaking of, he was off in the corner of the room, claiming that you’d probably gotten some kind of time-traveling bug. He was being dramatic, and you became aware of what exactly had drawn him and Steve together all those years ago. Extra bitches.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Bruce assured. “Her temperature is fine.”

“Take her blood, test it for time-traveling bugs.”

You rolled your eyes, and because Bruce had heard of the Winter Soldier, he did as was directed. Even though you were pretty sure that Bucky wasn’t serious. Not completely. Once Bruce had the excuse of focusing on your blood, that left you and Bucky alone.

“Why did you even go?”

This was not going to go over well. “Um…I had a plan…”

“A plan,” he repeated. “To do what?”

“I was sort of…kind of, just a little bit, going to kill Peggy.”

His mouth dropped.

You rolled your eyes. “I know that was stupid—”

“You’re insane!”

You glared. “Bucky.”

“You didn’t do it, right?!”

“No,” you huffed. “I should have, would have been putting her out of her misery. He’s such a fucking tool.”

He dragged his hand down his face, holding his jaw as he leaned over in his chair and pressed his elbows to the tops of his thighs. He was silent for a very long time before saying, “Yeah…he is. Did he hurt you?”

The bruises had been painfully obvious, there was no way to hide them, and you knew they could all guess what they came from. You felt your skin getting hot as you shook your head. “No. He wouldn’t do that, Bucky.”

He scoffed. “I thought that…but he did leave you and I never thought he could do that.”

“He’s…not different,” you claimed. “Just…”

“A fucking tool.” He nodded. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“No, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I’m not just sorry for leaving and upsetting you. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry that you wasted months trying to make me feel better and then I just left. I’m sorry that I took you guys for granted, I’m sorry that I didn’t know how fortunate I was to have people who love me as much as you guys do. I know I betrayed your trust so it’s not going to mean much, but I will never do anything like that again.”

His eyes flit up from the floor to your face. “I do love you. So fucking much. You’re my only connection to him. And you left and I didn’t have that, I didn’t have you and I didn’t have him, and I was just…lost.”

You felt those familiar pricks in the back of your eyes, but you told yourself not to cry, you didn’t have the right. But just as soon as his eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t hold back your own anymore. He practically flung himself off the chair to rush to you, arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders.

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed there, just clinging to each other. This felt like the end of all the tension, though. This felt like a fresh start and you and Bucky were just going to have to move on without Steve. You pondered that for a while. You would have to try to find him a girlfriend or a boyfriend so he wouldn’t try to find you someone. It was going to be a little give and take, probably a major power-struggle every now and then, but it was going to be good.

The only reason you two pulled away was because both a frantic Bruce and Natasha ran into the room. They’d made all the noise two people could possibly make as they did so, crashing into each other because the doorway wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

They were wide-eyed, out of breath, both looking like they had just seen a ghost. But a much different ghost since they both regarded one another with a look of confusion.

“What is it?” Bucky demanded. “Wait, she doesn’t really have a time-traveling bug, does she?”

“Oh!” Bruce scoffed awkwardly, “I’d say so!”

You narrowed your eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”

“That can wait!” Natasha declared.

“No, it certainly cannot!” Bruce insisted.

These were two people who were normally soft-spoken, not because they were meek or soft in any general sense—hello, Black Widow and the Hulk—but in that they didn’t like drawing so much attention to themselves.

As they both started hissing arguments back at each other, Bucky sighed.

You glanced at him and he shrugged at you in response. Things were all better one second, but the very next, the world was ending.

Both Bruce and Natasha turned back to you with resolute looks on their faces. Natasha only spoke loudly this time because she was hoping to yell over Bruce, “Steve is back!” And Bruce yelled in a completely indelicate manner because he was shocked, horrified, extremely concerned, “You’re pregnant!”

Oh, shit.

Natasha and Bruce took a second to process what the other said and then gasped, turning to one another to share a look. They faced you again and decided to repeat the news only, Bruce screamed about Steve being back and Natasha more so framed it as a shrieking question you’re pregnant?!

You glanced at Bucky.

His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed just slightly. He merely nodded once then stood, throwing his hands up in the air. “Well, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

Yep, the world was most certainly ending.

#steve rogers x reader #why write what you requested when i can just be a moody water sign and write angst? #i don't even remember when i wrote this and i barely edited it honestly bc i'm just kinda over it #i wouldn't have even posted it bc it's been THAT long but i spent time on this so #my writing

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

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