#she was AMAZING and just blew my mind <3
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Quickest realization i just had randomly while showering my friend with love.
If you start worshipping something randomly and call it your God it's called a cult but if your cult gets big enough it's suddenly a religion.
#idk why that blew my mind#pretty sure this is how cristianity started#had to write this before it faded to the back of my mind#i'm not that religious i swear#somehow it comes back to me everytime#and this all from messages to my amazing best awesome i love her so much for everything she has done friend#this ones for you m >3<#i'm sorry for making you question your morals this morning with filosophy#i love youuu#would worship you but you said no#this gif is for you#idk if this is relatable#just thoughts#sudden thought#to be precise#i still tag way too much
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where we meet. (e.w.)
when ur a monsterfucker n its kinktober lol am i right guys
*silence*
…..
thank u 4 the pointers baby :3 ilysm @elliesbelle
wc;cw: 17.8k, baker!oc, demon!ellie, HEAVY ANGST [mentions underage drinking + alcoholism + drunk driving + car accidents + death], oc’s an eldest daughter… yeah, HORROR? [gore + animal death/mutilation? + vomit + idk scary shit like blood n stuff], SMUT!!!!
“Alright, my love! A dozen red velvet cupcakes, four slices of carrot cake, and ten brownies!”
You handed two large brown bags filled with desserts over to your favorite regular, Roxanna, “I threw in two complementary cannolis, don’t tell Hattie, please!” You whispered.
The older woman laughed, turning to depart with the sweet treats, “She ain’t getting a word outta me. Thank you, baby. See you soon.”
“Have an amazing birthday! Try not to get too rowdy on that yacht, now!”
“Girl, I’m grown! If one of my guests show up without a bottle, they ain’t gettin’ on, point blank!” You both giggled.
She blew you a kiss and scurried off, the small bell above the door ringing at her exit. You sighed and scurried to the back and into the kitchen, untying your apron and hanging it on the coat rack.
“Now, Miss Hattie— “
“I know you ain’t tryna disrupt my craft right now. You know better!” The elderly woman had her gray hairs pinned back under her hair net, practically squatting near the counter as she perfected the icing job on the three-layered wedding cake, shrouded in gold and sparkly silver. Your heart grew fonder at the slight tremble in her hands as she piped sprouts of buttercream around the cake topper.
Hattie, despite her stubbornness, was reason your… fresh start went so smoothly. Meeting her was a blessing in disguise; It was raining when you stumbled upon the old bakery she worked at years ago. You’d just moved as far as you could from your hometown, in desperate need of a job. She turned down your desperate pleads time and time again, that is until you showed up to the shop one last time, drenched in rain, with your homemade red velvet cake.
She’d nearly cracked you with a broom herself when she saw you standing by the service stand, but you pleaded one last time, and left the foil wrapped dish on the register counter without another word. You’d piqued her interest. Just a smidge.
You’d received a call from a random number — the owner of the shop— days later, offering you a position at the local bakery.
As a dishwasher.
Your victory didn’t last long, however. Turns out your boss was a thieving bastard, cutting all the employee's earnings by a third months after you were hired. You were shocked no one shoved a piping bag up his ass.
Weeks later, you were out of a job. And so was Hattie.
… Did she reluctantly ask you for tips on how you made your cake that moist as you two waited for the bus, hairnets still on? Absolutely. And you shared them on the ride back to her small home.
She swiftly became your support, your right-hand man, your newfound comfort only after a few months. You silently thank the universe for her everyday; You couldn’t imagine opening your spot without her with you, making sure to double — triple whatever shit pay her previous boss gave her.
“C’mon, Roxie just picked up. We needa head out now,” Closing was always a hassle whenever Hattie was in the zone. The extra five minutes she often requested easily turned into an hour if not regulated; Bless her heart.
She sighed and stretched, “Alright,” Reluctance in her tone. “You’re lucky my grandkids are coming to see me tomorrow!” She set her piping bag down and allowed you to stroll the wedding cake into the walk-in fridge.
Hattie hardly ever asked for time off; You practically have to shove her out your bakery doors every Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years! The only request — demand she’s ever made was no work on Halloween. She gave you explicit instructions when you hired her years ago: don’t call my phone during the day of evil!
Her request threw you for a whirl at first. You assumed she was joking because what seventy-year-old woman still cares about Halloween and its lore? When she hadn’t laughed with you, however, you apologized and offered her three days off for the end of October. Everyone deserves to be with their family, regardless of time of year.
You wished you had someone to call during the cozy Fall.
You threw yourself into work the second you got the chance. Opening your bakery a year ago was something you’d been working towards since you made your first batch of cupcakes at ten years old. You and your mother baked until your arms burned from kneading years after that, and the hobby swiftly became your down time. Your shop was small and crowded, but your name was printed on the door.
You never thought you’d be able to own anything after the last decade of being locked up, after the accident you’d caused.
That horrid day and its repercussions continues to loom over you like a dark cloud no matter where you go, filling your life with trails of dread that refuse to be washed away. You lost your family, some friends, a potential partner, and it was all because of one mindless decision during your reckless and dark teenage years.
To put it bluntly, you never recovered. Everyday is a struggle, but you’ve managed to distract yourself with work. Your newfound friends hate that they never see you, but you beg them to accept that you're busy whenever you receive an invitation to dinner.
Sadly, your accomplishments are not companions, and your heart is forever vacant. Nothing — or no one — will change that.
No matter how many times you’ve tried to reach out to your loved ones, your calls go unanswered. You came to terms with the fact that they’ll always see you as the force that destroyed their unity — the disappointment, ages ago, but your heart still longs for their affection.
You wake up and hope for their forgiveness everyday.
“You comin’?”
Miss Hattie’s voice pulled you from your thoughts as you silently walked her to the door, her work bag in hand and ready to go.
“No, ma’am. Still gotta check the inventory.”
She sucked her teeth, “I coulda still been decorating— “
“Enough of that! Get on home!” You waved her off with a smile.
“Uh huh,” She rolled her eyes and left with a nod, “See you next week!”
You waved goodbye, shutting the door fully and flipping the open sign to close.
You stretched your arms above your head, your achy shoulders and neck popping with stiffness. All you wanted was a fucking massage.
You made your way back to the kitchen, clipboard in hand, marking off products that desperately needed refilling. What kind of bakery runs out of sugar? Sugar!
The bus ride home was nauseating; You need your own car desperately.
You politely greeted your neighbors as they left the elevator before heading to your floor. The late afternoon sun was blooming through the hallway windows of your building. You unlocked your door, the waft of cool air from the open window in your living room brushing your skin.
You tossed your bag off your shoulders, and it thudded to the floor, the overworked bones in your arms cracking when you stretched them up at the ceiling.
The small ball of fur rubbing against your leg rejuvenated you in seconds.
Your cat meowed happily when you bent down to plant kisses on her head. She followed you into the kitchen as you heated the kettle on the stove, hopping onto the counter to watch you work.
“You know better. Get down,” your eyes squinted.
She only tilted her head at you before sitting on the granite completely. You were too tired to move her.
Whistles erupted from the small hole in the pot minutes later. You filled your mug to the brim with the soothing herbal tea your friends gave you before heading into your bedroom.
You closed your blinds and undressed completely, plopping onto your blankets, taking sips from your mug as exhaustion and warmth flooded your body.
The last thing you remember was your cat walking all over your back.
THUD, THUD THUD THUDTHUD—
Your body shook awake at the pounding coming from the entrance of your home. Anxiety surged in your gut when the loud knocks against wood came to a sudden halt, only to start up again, even more frantic and aggressive.
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD—
You kicked your blankets off and sat up, your sweaty form clinging to the sheets as you searched around your room. Everything was where it was supposed to be, but your door was wide open. You never leave your door open. Did you shut your door when you came home from…
Where were you before this?
You called for your cat once, twice, three times, but she never came. Your apartment was always quiet, but this silence… It was weighted, a heavy press on your chest.
You don’t remember how you got into your living room, but your toes were digging into the soft fluff of your rugs, attempting to sketch into the floor. Even the slightest movement felt like a fight against sludge. Like trekking through the rain in drenched clothes. The knocks didn’t cease, and was synced with the pounding in your ears.
The walls were breathing. Why couldn’t you breathe? You swore you were going to throw up.
The painted plaster moved in waves, your door plunging in and out of its frame, back and forth like a pendulum, but you couldn’t see behind it; Your toenails scratched harder into the floor. You couldn’t stop staring at the door. Every nerve in your brain was urging you to run, find a place to hide, but your body wouldn’t allow it. You simply stood, trapped in a cloud of distress.
The banging stopped and you inhaled, air finally filling your lungs. The feel of fabric beneath your toes was no longer there: something softer than hardwood. Something squishy, something sticky and wet with hair. Your nails tore into it, oddly comforted by the sensation.
All was quiet again, the familiar steadiness of your home calming your racing heart.
Until a weak, wheezing exhale came from beneath you; You nearly missed it. Your heart rate skyrocketed when you peered at your feet.
Your cat’s neck and stomach were sliced open, her small organs pouring out of the large slit in her body. Maggots and spiders were crawling all over her, your feet completely drenched in her blood and your nails plunged deep into her decomposing skin. The insects devouring your nearly dead pet rushed up your legs at an alarming rate, tearing into your thighs like desperate rats fiending for a meal.
You woke up screaming.
“Girl…”
“I don’t know why that happened! I’ve never had a dream like that before!” All the lights were on in your home, your kitty purring in your lap as you stroked her comfortingly. “I know it’s late but can you come over? I’m honestly… freaked out right now.”
Your good friend, Celeste, exhaled over the line, “… Yeah,” she resigned. “Gimmie ten minutes. I love you. Just… try to relax.”
You breathed when she told you to, your head bobbing like she could see you, “Okay. I love you too.”
You almost didn’t want to hang up, but you’d already bothered your friend enough tonight. It’s been a while since you two hung out together; You hope she’s up for a sleepover!
Your kitty nuzzled your chin affectionately. You hoped she knew you would never hurt her.
“I’ve never been so horrified in my life!” You spoke around the sugary spoon in your mouth. “Dreams have never… felt like that for me. I swear, it doesn’t matter how deep my sleep paralysis is! I felt like I was really,” you quickly peered around the room for your kitty, praying she couldn’t hear you. “Stepping on her body! My poor angel.”
Celeste shoveled more ice cream into her mouth, “Girl, that’s fucking crazy,” she assured, nodding towards your sleeping baby on the table. “Just remember that nothing actually happened. You love her and she loves you.”
She continued after a heavy sigh. “But you know me. Dreams, nightmares, they’re all from something, and if it felt as real as you say…” Her brow arched at you. What the fuck is she talking about?
Her eyes rolled in exasperation, “Isn’t your coworker, like… mad superstitious? Queen, but still. The devil’s working, girl.”
You took a deep breath like she instructed a billion times over since she’s arrived. A smirk grew on her face.
“Plus… it’s that time of year. ,” she stuck her tongue out and playfully grabbed her tits, “We gettin’ slutty. Gotta show out for Scorpio season. I made my own costume.”
Your nerves calmed at the reminder of your friends' packed weekend. Since your only true time off was during the spooky season, they always encouraged you to join them in their reckless behavior, especially during your time off. You resigned from partying a long time ago, but did indulge in the lively atmosphere from time to time during the holiday season.
“You’re right,” you sighed and placed your hands over the resting ones on her chest.
“Thank you! Take that damn chef hat off!” she scolded. “No more business talk until— “
“Next week, I know,” you mocked, “And I don’t wear chef hats, thanks.”
“Don’t give a shit about any of that. I’m getting pipe tomorrow night,” Celeste fell back on the sofa, giddily kicking her feet in the air.
A hearty chuckle escaped you. Maybe you’d meet someone too.
You were finally able to get some rest— thank god for Celeste — and start organizing your costumes for the… large sum of parties they planned to drag you to.
You still haven’t completely recovered from your nightmare two nights ago. The vivid imagery that your subconscious conjured up still gives you the ick, but for the sake of your friends, you chose not to bring it up again. You silently thanked the universe when you managed to get a full nine hours the night before.
Your friends managed to pull you into the Halloween spirit and take you to… Spirit. Despite the void stares from your friends at your costume choices, you settled on the Zelda outfit that’d been on sale at Party City for the past two weeks. Celeste couldn’t stop herself from… cutting your costume up and making it as revealing as possible. She opted to cut off the sleeves, sew the pants into a skirt that hugged your body way too tightly, and did your makeup how she wanted. You didn’t stand a chance against her.
You despised how hot clubs get; You probably looked like you were melting.
You stayed as far away from the bar as you could, watching your friends down shot after shot as the night progressed. Your surroundings were crowded and stuffy, the bass of the DJ booth rattling from your feet all the way up to your chest. Your moves were sloppy and disoriented, but Celeste was behind you, grabbing your hips and supporting your weight.
Your thoughts were hazy and incoherent as your arms waved around to the beat. The music blasting in your ears turned into white noise; The environment completely entranced you, your eyes shutting at the weightlessness of your clammy body.
The hands behind you were suddenly grabbing tighter, yanking you closer, as you continued to dance.
You pushed back onto them and their arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back, yanking you close, your clammy flesh practically melding with theirs. Their scent engulfed you, rich and deep yet distinct. Your arm wrapped around the back of their neck, pulling them down while their hands explored your hips.
Their lips were on your neck, your head resting on their shoulder. Something hot was stirring in the pit of your stomach the more they swayed you, the arch in your back deepening; You haven’t felt wanted in so long.
You tried to spin to face them, but they held you still, pressing their chest into your backside. Your breaths picked up when they bit the most sensitive spot on your neck, your toes curling in your heeled boots, your manicured nails nearly chipping in your stockings.
Their mouth moved higher and higher, right under your ear, the hand coming up to wrap around your throat to hold you still. Your core squeezed as the grip on your neck tightened… and tightened… your airways were closing, and swiftly, the feeling was no longer pleasant. Your eyes snapped open when they didn’t let up, a shocked gasp escaping your dry mouth. The moment was no longer sensual, but straining and forceful. Almost angry.
Your lust turned to panic instantly, your eyes bulging as your nails dug into their hands, their taut thighs, their wrist, but they didn’t budge. You thrashed and shook with terror. You gasped for air and tried to push them off but it was all for naught.
Nobody came to help you. Suddenly all the faceless bodies around you were gone, heaps of black smoke pooling at your feet as you wailed for Celeste. The hands and lips were replaced with razor sharp claws and fangs as cold as ice against the side of your face, murmuring voices and screaming chants roaring in your ears. The former body grew monstrous, tripling in size and darkening.
The sensation of decaying, bloody skin was at your feet once more, fiery red ants and black widows nipping at your skin as the smoke flooded up your body, swallowing your calves, thighs, waist.
Weak shouts and begs for release went unheard by the force behind you. A faint whisper of your name made you sob harder; You’re going to die, you’re going to die, you’re going to die—
The whisper called your name again. And again. And again, much louder and urgent. Desperate for a response but all you could do was holler for your mother.
One last shout of your name made you drop to the floor, all the sensations surrounding your body gone. Your crown clanked onto the vibrating hardwood as drunk clubgoers gawked at you in confusion and annoyance, Celeste and your friends staring in concern, reaching to help you up.
But you couldn’t be touched. Any brush on your skin surged your heart to your throat. You needed to get the fuck out of here.
Your friends kept yelling about what happened, how they could help, but you couldn’t speak. You swore you were going to vomit.
You pushed yourself off the hardwood and through the crowd, away from your friends, away from everyone. Your smudged makeup stained your wrists, the shouts of your name going unheard as you shoved passed security and ran into the night.
You didn’t sleep at all that night.
You immediately left the club, hauled a taxi, and ran up into your apartment, double — triple checking to make sure all your doors were locked and windows were closed. You tore your costume off your body and threw it into your garbage before hopping into the shower. You desperately wanted to wash your hair, but you refused to close your eyes. The darkness when you blinked was haunting enough.
To put it lightly, you were fucking horrified.
Your body trembled under the steaming water, soft sobs escaping while you scrubbed your skin raw. Especially your shoulder.
Your phone rang off the hook until the sun rose, your kitty refusing to leave your lap. She never failed to comfort you in your times of need, but you barely rubbed her all night. All you could do is cry and think.
Your friends pounded on your door multiple times, but you refused to move from your bed. Their frantic knocking was very reminiscent of the pounding in your nightmare. You couldn’t shake how real everything felt: the comfort, the desire, the destress, the pure, unfiltered terror at the imagery of you being eaten alive by darkness. If you could even call it that: imagery.
Imagery is not enough to describe what you experienced. You were attacked in public, and no one bothered to help you. Nobody… saw anything.
You’re not fucking crazy.
Your friends were sweet enough to stop by the same afternoon with candles and lavender-scented bath bombs after your public breakdown. Their efforts at lifting your spirits didn’t go unnoticed, but your thoughts kept racing, every time you shut your eyes, even for a few seconds. How the hell were you going to explain what you saw that night?
Despite your friends’ skepticism, you were eventually able to convince them that you felt severely claustrophobic and the lack of air sent you spiraling.
… It wasn’t a complete lie, at least.
You were able to get some minuscule hours of sleep after they left before it was time to prepare for your shift. Dark circles were imprinted under your eyes, your skin was dry, and your uniform was not ironed, but you were up and moving. Small victories.
Your hand was practically glued to your forehead in extreme fatigue, your eyes burning at the brightness of your computer screen as you checked the time. Your emails always boomed during this time of year as people prepared for the holiday season; A good night's sleep seemed even farther away now.
You swiftly replied to each request with your availability before grabbing your bag and keys, kissing your kitty goodbye, and running down to the bus stop.
You greeted every familiar face with a polite smile before entering the already packed vehicle, the beginnings of a rising sun beaming through the scratched windows. You plopped onto the only available seat — farthest away from your neighbors — with a heavy exhale, your head falling against its rest.
This week is going to be so gruesome for orders; You prayed Ms. Hattie was prepared for it.
Returning to work was just as draining as you’d assumed.
Your business line has been ringing off the hook all morning, people asking for dozens of gingerbread cookies and wedding cakes layered to the ceiling. You could make a nest for yourself right on the clean tiles of the kitchen and nap.
You’ll never know how Ms. Hattie did it: wakes up at five in the morning and moves through decorating like a walk in the park. You can barely lift your arms and it’s only hour three.
You whipped egg whites and sugar like your life depended on it — it did — with your landline tucked between your shoulder and ear, reciting pick-up addresses and numbers in voicemails. You’re so fucking tired.
Hattie wasn’t, though. Just quiet. A bit too quiet.
She hasn’t said much since you’ve arrived. She got to the shop much earlier than expected, politely saying good morning when she caught you standing by the kitchen entrance. She hasn’t acknowledged you since. You tried to get some laughs out of her, but she only half-smiled before silently returning to her work.
You two continued to carefully wrap and deliver dessert-filled boxes like a well fueled machine up until the last minutes before closing. You stretched before grabbing the broom to sweep the entire shop, making your way into the kitchen where Hattie was staring off into nothing.
“Hey, girl. I can close up, so,” you murmured, wiping the sweat off your brow.
She seemed to be pulled out of her trance, “Oh, sorry hun,” Her head bobbed. “Are you sure you’re good on your own?”
“Yes, ma’am,” You paused. “Umm, are you doin’ okay? You seemed… I dunno, quiet, I guess.”
Hattie nodded, and you took it as an invitation to speak. “Somethin’ you wanna talk about? You didn’t even tell me how your weekend went. How’re the kiddos?” You asked gently, propping your broom against the wall.
A heavy exhale left her.
“I… Something was…” she stuttered.
Another deep inhale. Another lengthy exhale.
“Something felt different, no?” She whispered.
Your brows pulled down in confusion. “What d’you mean?”
“This… this weekend. Wasn’t it different?”
“Umm…” you pondered. “Not really, no. Why, what’s goin’ on?”
More silence before she huffed, “… Nothin’. You know how I get this time of year. Sorry, dear.” She turned and snatched her work bag off the counter before departing with a skittish nod, “See ya tomorrow.”
“W-Wait—“ You tried to stop her, but the kitchen door was already slamming shut, the small ding alarming Hattie’s departure from your shop.
You allowed your tense shoulders to drop, snagging the broom and heading towards the front of your shop for cleanup.
That was odd.
The front door of your apartment shut and you fell back against it in exhaustion. You desperately needed a massage.
You stretched before pushing yourself off the door and wobbling over to your cat’s area, refilling her bowl and cleaning her litter box. You clicked your tongue to lure her over to eat.
You called her name out when she didn’t come. You snagged her filled bowl and shook it, alerting your baby to come and eat. She still didn’t come. You huffed and made your way into your room; She probably took over your softest pillow again.
The bowl in your hand clattered to the floor and your screams nearly shattered your windows. Bile rose in your throat and you heaved at the scene in front of you.
Your beloved pet was dead. Completely mauled, her blood and organs pouring out of the giant slit that went from her throat to her stomach. Sobs wracked through you at the savage attack. The one source of comfort that you looked forward to seeing every morning and night was gone, snatched away from you in the blink of an eye. You've tried to alleviate your anxiety by suggesting that your nightmares are merely that. Dreams. Creations by your subconscious to try and solve issues that occur in your everyday life.
But nothing so heinous would ever cross your mind. You would never harm the precious angel who brought you healing in your times of need.
This wasn’t a coincidence. Someone came into your home while you were away. Someone killed your baby.
“We’re sorry, ma’am,” the county deputy sighed, “But there wasn’t any sign of breaking and entering. You stated that everything is where you left it, correct?”
“Everything wasn’t where I left it,” Anger rushed through you at the officer’s dismissiveness. “My cat was fucking fine before I went to work. I’d never… put her in an environment where she could be harmed,” Tears flooded your eyes.
“We understand that this was an attack done in your home. What happened here’s definitely not normal, but we won’t be able to solve everything in one night,” He consoled, “We’re getting a team here to investigate. I would suggest packing an overnight bag and staying with family or a friend until we get this situated.”
Family. You almost broke down.
When you didn’t respond, he interjected, “We can also find you a room to stay in for a few nights— “
“No, uh, thanks. I got it.”
You dug in your pocket for your phone and dialed Celeste. He nodded and spun towards his partner who jabbered into a walkie.
Your friend’s tone blared through the speakers, “Hiii, baby, what’s up! I haven’t heard from you in a minute.”
Your bottom lip wobbled, “Sorry I didn’t call. Um… can I ask a favor?”
“Of course you can. What’s the matter? Are you good?”
The floodgates that’d been building in your eyes overflowed, pouring down your cheeks and onto your work shirt. You wept.
“Can you come pick me up?”
“I just feel like… I feel like I’m going fucking crazy,” you whispered and picked at your fingers, “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but— “
“Nah, it makes perfect sense. You’re fucking psychic. That’s literally the only explanation,” your friend shook her head at you. “You dreamt about something and it happened a couple days after.”
“None of that shit is real, Celeste.” She sighed in disappointment.
“It’s not real to you,” she pointed from the other side of the couch. “My grandmomma was a witch—“You huffed and adjusted the blanket draped over your shoulders.
“But, hey,” she raised her hands in defense. “I can’t make you believe anything. But coming from the most superstitious bitch in town, somebody is trying to tell you something. You’re not freaked out?”
“Of course I’m freaked out! But I'm not wasting my time thinking about some… fuckin’ ghost— “
“What happened when we were at the club?”
Your blood went ice cold. You couldn’t stop the pure terror that spread across your face at the mention of that night. You’ve attempted to block… whatever happened out of your memory for the last couple days for your sake, but Celeste read you like a book, and you hated her for it.
“Exactly. Are you ready to talk about it now?”
“I… I told you what happened— “
“You lied about what happened. And don’t try to argue,” She leaned closer, eyes comforting. “We tried calling out to you for so long. We thought somebody fucking… laced you, or something, you were so zoned out. We were this close to calling the fucking police.”
“… What do you mean? I lost y'all in the crowd before I started dancing with somebody— “
Celeste shook her head, “No.”
Your throat went dry, the blood rushing to your head almost making you faint.
“We tried to tell you, baby. But we didn’t wanna push you to talk to us about it,” she said gently. “We were with you the entire time.”
The tightness in your chest wouldn’t subside, shuddering breaths leaving your nose with every denial from Celeste.
“No one else came up to us,” she whispered, “and no one danced with you.”
Your head kept shaking in attempts to disprove her claims, in attempts to combat the fear that was attempting to slice you from the inside out, but deep down, you knew she was onto something.
Celeste’s hold sadly didn’t bring comfort, but she held you close anyway, ensuring that you’re not by yourself, but all you could think about was your mother. The smile she used to give you whenever you succeeded never failed to recharge the dying battery in your back. It’s depressing how little impact her grin has on you in adulthood.
The dark cloud of your past cascaded over the two of you; If she were here, your best friend would’ve forced you into the passenger side of her father’s pick-up, already halfway across town by now, set to isolate. To escape.
“Whoever did this is incredibly strategic,” The tall detective stated with a journal in his hand, “They didn’t leave traces of anything: hair, fingerprints, nothing. It’s almost like they never broke in.”
You haven’t been able to get any sleep or go to work for the last week, completely isolated inside your friend’s home. When you received a phone call from the detective assigned to your case, you caught the first bus you could and flew back to your apartment complex. You don’t remember the ride.
Your hope plummeted at his declaration, even with his reassurance, “We’re doing everything we can to find this person. Your safety is our number one priority.”
He gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze, and it brought you comfort. While you weren’t satisfied with their reports, you could see that he was trying. Was this your first time meeting him?
He seemed familiar, but you couldn’t place it.
He stared into your eyes with a gentle grin and continued, “If we should even call them that. They’re a cold-blooded, heartless fiend that needs to be taken out.”
Your brows furrowed at his sudden determination, but your head bobbed in agreement. Your mind was racing but you couldn’t say anything. Someone killed your baby. Did his grip on you tighten? You couldn’t move.
“The bastards that get away with such vicious crimes need to be put away forever,” his tone was harsh and sharp, and it made your fingers twitch. Your stomach plummeted when his smile stretched higher, his teeth shin
His other hand landed on your other shoulder. You tried to move back, but you couldn’t, “S-Sir— “
“They need to be hung from the ceiling by their throats and slaughtered like fucking pigs! Like the worthless animals they are! —“
His spit landed on your face at his screams. He hollered about how much he hated killers, how they were scum and deserved to be tortured. How you…
“You thought we forgot about what you did?” He whimpered; prior menacing smile vanished.
The bearded man in front of you was sobbing, his gaze pinning you against the wall. He didn’t blink and his eyes were bloodshot, his mouth turned downward, the corners of his lips nearly touching his chin. Your eyes frantically traveled over his form, his uniform replaced with pajamas and slippers.
“YOU’RE A KILLER! YOU’RE A KILLER, YOU’RE A KILLER, YOU’RE A KILLER! —“
Cursed murmurs amplified his pained shouts. Your home was melting away, the walls seeping into the floor before you dropped, the terror weakening your limbs. Your nails dug into the grass and dirt below you, panic electrifying your system.
The man was gone, but you were outside in the middle of the night, decomposing trees surrounding you. You tried to stand but you couldn’t. You were forced to take in the scene that you wished to never see again. The one scene that your subconscious couldn’t eliminate no matter how hard you tried to forget.
Your parents' car— wrecked car. The vehicle was completely destroyed, the bumper and windscreen ran into a tree. You screamed and shouted but no noise left, the sinister chants resounding in your ears. The wreckage seemed to move, closer, closer, your eyes locking onto the two bodies inside completely mangled in the accident.
The two bodies were younger you, thrown over the dashboard and your arm twisted to an alarming degree, blood running down your head and mouth, shards of glass piercing through the skin of your bare legs.
You couldn’t stop yourself from peering at the body beside you. You hollered for help, cried and begged to wake up, all while staring at your best friend — your soulmate, completely maimed from the waist up. It was just as brutal as you remember: her blood splattered all over the airbag, her limbs shattered and broken, large pieces of glass pierced into her skull. You were sick, you were sick.
Suddenly, the mantras that attempted to swallow you whole stopped.
Then there was laughter. Your soulmate’s laughter, but it wasn’t how you remembered. It was darker, hollow, empty. Enraged.
Everything around you went dark.
Sobs tear through your throat the second your eyes open, the comforting scent of Celeste’s lavender candles intruding your senses. Your body was drenched in sweat, and you could hear your friend calling out to you, her cold hands on your face, but you couldn’t think. You just screamed. Her attempts of trying to sit you up failed, your fingers hanging onto her sheets for dear life. You were paralyzed with fear.
Somehow, your biggest regret came to pay you a visit.
Your instincts finally kick in, pushing Celeste off you and bolting towards her bedroom door. She was calling for you; she even reached out to touch you, but you pushed her harder.
She screamed for you to stop, and you lost it.
“Get the fuck away from me! STOP — stop fucking touching me!” you rush out into her living room and towards her front door.
Shocked plastered across your friend’s face.
Celeste whispered your name; Why did she sound like her?
“I gotta get the fuck outta here, I can’t,” heave, “I can’t fucking do this, I can’t, I can’t — “
Distraught mumbles fled your tongue on your way out, not bothering to look back at your friend. You heard her sniffling before the door slammed shut, guilt swarming your chest, but it wasn’t enough to overcast the terror ripping you open from the inside out.
After vomiting outside of Celeste’s apartment building, — multiple times — you took your leave. As fast as you could. You couldn't say a word to her; She desperately tried to get information out of you, but your throat felt like it would crack open at the slightest whisper. The fear you’d been trying to invalidate crashed into you all at once.
You fled without your belongings, only slowing when night goers surrounded you in the city.
Celeste has been worried sick about you this entire time, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care.
Your steps were jerky and quick, and you kept scratching at your shoulder. You felt her everywhere. All over you, but it wasn’t comforting. Not like it used to be.
You walked and walked, your mind racing with moments from your past: the last moments with your best friend. Your kryptonite. The scar in your shoulder was covered in fresh, red lines from your nails.
JUNIOR YEAR: 2012
You frantically shoved your books into your locker, anticipating the alarm that sounded for lunch. You can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
The second it goes off, you're booking it for the door. You hoped Ellie kept her word and brought your birthday present.
You busied yourself in your small cubby whenever security or teachers walked by, politely greeting them with the most innocent smile you could muster. They didn’t bat an eye, wishing you a happy birthday before turning the corner at the end of the hall.
You gave them all fake greetings until the loud tone blared through the hallway speakers, students instantly rushing out of their classrooms to head to the cafeteria. You grabbed your now empty backpack and merged with the crowd, trekking for the exit. You managed to scurry through the double doors of the school and bolted towards your parents’ old car, ducking behind the driver's side as you waited for your best friend.
You texted her a few times but she didn’t respond for minutes. You almost gave up and returned inside the building before two hands pinched your sides from behind. A squeal left your mouth when you whipped around. Ellie snorted at you, her arms wrapping around your neck in a tight hug. You reluctantly hugged her back.
HAAAPPY BIIIRTHDAAAY TOOO YOUUU—
You shushed her shouts with a smile, Shut up! Someone might hear you.
She kissed your cheek before releasing you, No ones fucking here, relax. Open the door, her head jerked towards the vehicle.
You stealthily unlocked it and the two of you jumped in. You shoved the key into the ignition as Ellie cranked the speakers all the way up, your car rattling with bass as you two exited the parking lot and zoomed down the main street.
Ellie belted Cherry Waves out the window, bright laughs leaving your throats as you drove to… anywhere. Times like this always bring you joy; You love being around her.
Ditching class might’ve not been the best birthday celebration, but you were having a ball.
You drove until you reached the end of town. There was a small campground that you and Ellie found on your first couple drives together, and it swiftly became your little get away spot. You’d spend hours talking, drawing, screaming at the top of your lungs until the sun disappeared and your parents demanded you come home.
You two raced to your designated spot by the lake, Ellie’s filled backpack slamming onto the sand, glass clattering from the inside. You mischievously eyed it, I think someone owes me a present!
I don’t owe you shit. I’m a good friend, say thank you, She rolled her eyes. You grabbed her hands and clumsily twirled her.
Thank you, Ellieee! you nearly ripped her bag apart as you inspected the contents.
Don’t go too crazy. Remember what happened last time? her smile was light, but you could tell she was scolding you. You snickered.
Um, yeah. We had a ball. Help me open this, you downplayed, passing her the unopened bottle.
You know exactly what she’s referring to; You might’ve drank a bit too much at your friend’s birthday dinner. And Christmas party… and when you all went to the fair, but it was all in good fun! You’re young and living life; Ellie’s always a bit dramatic when she comments on your drinking.
Ellie snatched the bottle and opened it, taking a large swig from it before handing it back. You followed in her lead, taking three large gulps of the liquid, the burn flowing down your throat and into your stomach. Ellie pulled her speaker out of her bag and queued your joint playlist.
The two of you drank and sang and danced until sunset, your vision blurry and legs wobbly. Ellie was sweet enough to help you back to the car, snagging the keys from your pocket before helping you into the passenger side. You tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t understand. She always looked so cute when you mumbled nonsense, wispy brows pulled down with a light smile. You felt so happy whenever she was around.
She drove you back home and you threw up all over your front yard. Somehow, she snuck past your parent's room without hassle, ushering you into bed. You couldn’t stop laughing; Her bright smile only made you cackle louder before her hand pressed against your mouth.
—
Ellie’s soft palms moved up and down your arm bare, occasionally squeezing your bicep. You couldn’t stop smiling, goosebumps following the drag of her fingertips.
You’re such a dork, she whispered between snickers.
You love me, you said much louder, but she hummed. The look in her eye was suddenly far away. You nervously nibbled at your bottom lip, your eyes dropping to her mouth. Did her lips always look this soft?
You admired every aspect of her face in silence, your index finger continuing to trace over the bridge of her nose, the apple of her cheeks, down to her chin. Ellie’s a sight.
Your hazy mind barely noticed the tint on her cheeks, your bedroom dimly lit by the moonlight cascading in from your window. Her eyes were glued to your mouth.
She inched closer, her moves subtle. You would’ve missed it if she wasn’t right there.
You don’t know what came over you, but your mouth pressed against hers. Her lips were stiff against yours, and it made you pull away.
She didn’t seem… happy, not how you felt. Her expression was gloomy, her eyes flashing with… everything and nothing at the same time. You locked up instantly.
You love me, Ellie… right?
Your tongue felt swollen in your mouth when you slurred.
Ellie didn’t answer, and you held yourself up on your elbow, your brain alarming your legs to get up and leave. To abandon.
Ellie… d-do you love me?
O-Of course I do—
The tremors in her voice sliced through you like a hot blade. Her confirmation was only meant to appease, your drunk brain told you. Ellie doesn’t love you, not like that. Your own parents’ love is conditional; Why wouldn’t hers be?
—
You were never a rebellious kid.
Your parents always praised you for being a remarkable role model for your younger siblings: incredible listener, studious, eager to help others. They never failed to highlight, amplify, pressure your good behavior. But their doting smiles disappeared when you failed to meet their expectations.
The transition from middle to high school was rough for you. Your grades suffered and you were surrounded by other kids you didn’t recognize, and your “star-student” streak vanished in an instant. You’ve never seen your family so disappointed in you.
You broke your back trying to save your academic status for the next few years. You hardly slept, ate, spent time with your newfound friends, and it was all for your parents. They didn’t acknowledge you until that offer to join the early-college program came in the mail during your sophomore year. When you accepted that you needed to have something to show to get their affection, you spiraled downward.
You swiftly replaced the emptiness in your heart with a bunch of seniors. They agreed to let you tag along if you could hang, so you did whatever was necessary to gain their companionship: started sneaking out, staying out late, going to parties that you had no business being at.
Started drinking.
Just one sip, loosen up! Little did you know that’s all it took to get you hooked.
The drink was rancid and a gross, murky color. You weren’t enjoying it, so why couldn’t you put the cup down for the rest of the night? You threw back cup after cup until you were unconscious on the front porch of the house. None of your friends bothered to take you inside where it was safe.
You barely recall being hauled back inside and upstairs, plush pillows under your head as you drifted off. When you woke, you swiftly decided that the pounding in your head and the nausea in your gut was worth it. Last night was the freest you’d ever felt. You almost missed the small sticky note stuck on your arm. Someone gave you their phone number, demanding that you tell them if you made it out alive (i hope so.)
You gained a best friend from that sloppily scratched note.
Meeting Ellie was a blessing. She was funny, smart and kind. She was so nice to you. None of your old friends treated you like she did. Ellie’s friends were much warmer and welcoming when she introduced you to them for the first time. Every time they had plans, you were invited, no conditions needed.
Every vacant space in your heart was filled with something brighter. It’s unfortunate that your brain has already mastered its attachment to something more dangerous.
Ellie… for the billionth fucking time, I don’t have a problem. Can you just let it go? you scoffed from your bed.
I’ll let it go when you cut it out. You can’t do shit without it anymore, She spat, pointing at the McDonald’s cup filled with Tequila. You grinned nastily and sipped your straw. You were so sick of having this conversation with your friends. With her.
Yes, I can. I’m fine. See? You sarcastically rubbed all over your body. Another huge gulp. I dunno why y'all are acting like this. I’m not the only one that drinks.
You’re not fuckin’ fine, first of all! It was fun at first, but you don’t know how to control yourself! You’re scaring everybody off, Her arms flailed as her voice rose. You’re so happy your parents are working.
You weren’t “scaring everybody off”; You did have some outbursts some time ago, but your friends were still around. They always called you for a fun time, and you were always there to show out.
Oh my fucking god, you’re so extra, you got up with your cup, grabbing Ellie’s hand and leading her into the bathroom down the hall. You removed the lid and dumped its contents out; You tried to hide the surge of anxiety as you watched it go down the drain.
See? I can stop whenever I want.
Then stop, she whispered, sadness in her eyes, No more… okay?
The emotions flowed through her eyes like water, and it made you uncomfortable. You already wanted a refill, but you nodded to appease her.
O-Okay, Ellie, I’m sorry, you whispered, and she hugged you so tight. Kissed your clothed shoulder, and it gave you solace, even if it was just temporary.
But when she left, you were alone, comforted by the temptation of your own thoughts. You broke into your parents’ locked liquor cabinet that same night.
—
When you showed up to exam day drunk, Ellie began to pull away.
She didn’t bother to beg and yell when you were entranced by your vice. You simply saw her less, and your heart cracked whenever your calls went unanswered.
Abandonment was the worst feeling, even more so when it’s a result of something you’ve done. Your anxiety spiked significantly when you strolled around campus and your friends ignored you, and it only made you drink more when you got home. The acidic pacifier you discovered was turning you into someone unrecognizable. You were failing, and you were alone. You’d wished your siblings were older so you could talk to them.
Everything came crashing when your parents received an alarmed call from your principal.
You’d been vomiting in the nurse's office for half an hour, and they ended up calling the ambulance. Your stomach was getting pumped hours later.
When you regained consciousness, the only thing you could hear were your mother’s hysteric sobs in the hall.
—
Summer came along, and you were out of rehab. Withdrawal fucking sucked; It took you almost three weeks to fall asleep in the center.
You didn’t expect to see Ellie and your friends sitting on your porch when your parents pulled into the driveway, flowers and your favorite candy in hand. Your best friend cried into your shoulder for an hour straight; You refused to let her go as you sobbed into hers. You’d missed hugging her.
When everyone was seated on your parents' couch, you offered to share the secret to get melty, gooey chocolate chip cookies every time. They couldn’t stop grinning at you; You were finally back to normal.
Ellie spent the night at your house and hugged you to her chest until you drifted off.
You accepted that you were a terrible person when all you could think about was a drink. Just one.
All the promises you made were broken a few months later, crushed into dust by your own hand.
—
Everyone you loved hated you. Liquor always forced you to see the truth in people, melted away the fantasy that you created out of self-preservation. It fueled the rage that you desperately tried to keep hidden from your family; You’re so fucking mad, and you can’t remember why.
Your parents hated you; your siblings hated you, your best friend, the one person you have to confide in, the only thing you had left to love, hated you. Everyone hated you, and it was all your fault. Selfishness was the only way one could be a successor.
The second Ellie climbed into your parents’ car with that soft look in her eye, fury swallowed you whole. You barely said a word to her, her favorite song cranked to maximum volume.
Ellie? Your voice was quiet, but you were seething. You don’t remember why.
Hm?
D-Do you still care about me? your hands were clenched around the wheel so tightly, you thought it would snap in two. She was suddenly tense in the passenger seat, but she whispered without hesitation. Of course, I do… always.
But you didn’t believe her.
Ellie should’ve never agreed to go on a drive with you.
The way Ellie whipped her head towards you was vicious, her hand slamming onto the volume button of your car to silence the noise. You hated how she knew instantly.
… Are you fucking drunk right now?
There it was. All the proof you needed. Confirmation that you were nothing but a disappointment. You hadn’t moved from the stop sign. Self-loathing thrashed from the inside; your teeth are bound to crack like glass with the tightness of your jaw.
She’d whispered your name with so much disdain. A molten tear eased down your face like magma. This was the same residential area you parallel parked in for your driver’s test.
Your eyes were glued onto the dimly lit street as Ellie cried and begged for you to stop the car. She admitted to loving you and apologized for everything she said that could’ve hurt your feelings. All you had to do was stop the car and everything would be fine, she said. You pressed the gas so hard; it nearly touched the floor of the vehicle.
I love you… Please don’t do this… I love you so much…
Ellie’s last scream was haunting before everything went silent.
—
The reality around you never rebuilt itself after that night.
You were able to convince yourself that the accident didn’t happen for a few weeks. Until your best friend’s burial. According to your parents last voicemail, Ellie’s father wanted to strangle you with his bare hands. You took his life away with one decision. No one contacted you after that. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your friends.
You were charged and placed in juvenile detention until you were of legal age, and sent off to prison for another six years after that.
Your habit fed you lies about the people you loved most, and it cost the life of your only constant. The one person who tried to get you to change. The purest form of love you had.
You killed your soulmate, and you never recovered.
PRESENT
You walked until you reached Hattie’s front porch. Your calves were on fire.
Your tightly clenched fist pounded on the wood with all the strength you had left. You could see the shadows of someone walking around inside, but she didn’t open the door. She probably wanted nothing to do with you after not showing up to work for weeks, but you were desperate.
“M-Ms. Hattie, please,” you hollered, “I really need t’talk to you! Please, please— “
The door barely creaked open. You expected her to scream and berate you for disrupting her so late in the night, but she was silent. Didn’t utter a word. She only peered through the small crack in the doorway, her eyes bloodshot. Her voice sounded graveled, like she hadn’t slept in days.
“What the hell are you doin’ here.”
“Ms. Hattie, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where to go,” You harshly wiped your eyes, “May I please— “
“No, you may not,” her glare sliced through you, sharper than any knife. You bawled.
“Please, I’m beggin’ you, ma’am— “
“What…” her voice quivered, her gaze breaking away from yours for a split second.
“What did you do… to that girl?” She whispered like it pained her, and it felt like your chest would concave.
“… W-What?”
The look on her face was enough for you.
She knows. She knew.
“It was you,” tears filled the woman’s eyes, “I had a dream that you… How could you do that… That poor baby…”
Your head shook in denial. It was an accident, you wanted to scream, I don’t know what came over me! Your eyes squeezed shut and you fell to your knees, thunderous pleads leaving your throat as you begged her to listen. You hunched over and miserably tried to grab at her feet.
I loved her, I loved her, I loved her! You couldn’t speak.
“Whatever happens t’you…”
“No, nonono!—“
“I hope God… the universe… whoever the hell,” She spat, “Has mercy on you.”
You couldn’t stop screaming. Your voice was muffled by the concrete floor.
“Get the fuck off my porch.” And the door slammed in your face. You heard the locks click, and just like that, your last inkling of hope shunned you.
You hadn’t realized you’d been screaming for Ellie until you sat up, burning eyes glued to the dark, cloudy sky.
The sun rose from behind as you climbed your apartment steps.
The bundle of police cars and black trucks outside the building were an indication of your case being ongoing, but it brought you no comfort. A constant ache was present in your chest every time you breathed. Murmurs erupted from behind as you dragged your body inside, ignoring the deputies who were urging you off the premises.
Officers and residents stared at you in confusion, shock, bewilderment the second you hopped off the elevator. Exhaustion was pouring out of you, your under eyes almost black and pajamas wrinkly. You can’t recall the last time you showered.
The elevator dung, and you made your way down the hall, police tape surrounding your front door. You dodged it and crept in, the sight of the investigators almost sending you into a panic.
Terror built in your spine as they gawked at you; Ellie’s fucking with you. You’re probably asleep right now.
“Ma’am?”
You shakily turned towards the investigator assigned to your case. “Are you alright?”
No. You nodded, “I came to get some things.”
Some silence passed before you spoke.
“I need a place to stay,” your cuticles were scabbing. “As far away from here as possible… if that’s even allowed.” Your living room felt like it was tipping.
Their brows furrowed, scanning over your ragged appearance, “Um… The farthest we can place you is about a half hour away. We still need to monitor you… Especially now.” You bit the dig with a tilted head.
You nearly leaped into the air at the sudden, distant ring in your ears.
“Will y’all still cover m’stay?” The tremor in your hands built with the shrilling pierces in your drums.
“Yes… Are you sure everyt— “
“I’m fine! I’m fi— I’m fine!” The shrieks overwhelmed you, both hands coming up to cover your ears, your head pounding. Foreign hands were attempting to steady your hunched form, but to no avail. Your body gave out completely, pained wails leaving your dry lips.
I’m fine, I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine—
You tried. You tried your hardest, but you couldn’t convince anyone — yourself that you were okay. Something’s here. When did the air in your home get so cold?
The softest call of your name frosted the blood in your veins.
You’re hallucinating; You have to be. Don’t look up. Don’t open your eyes.
The voice called again, elation enriching her tone. Your head shook in disbelief.
It can’t be.
“L-Look at me. I’m here! I'm okay!”
No, no no no, you told yourself. Sobs wracked through your hunched form.
“Look at me! I love you!”
Shoe-covered feet inched towards you, slowly. Almost… cautious.
“Wake up! Wake up, wake up!” Your whispers were harsh. Urgent. Desperate.
A comforting hand rubbed your shoulder. You flinched and wailed, frantically pinching the skin of your wrists.
“NO! No, no, fucking get up— “
“Shhh,” Her hand squeezed you, “It’s me.”
You’re going to fucking puke. Your eyes stayed shut while she cradled you, your head resting on her shoulder. She felt taller, stronger, but she smelled the same. You couldn’t move, but she hugged you so tight.
Ellie, Ellie, I love you, I’m sorry—
A kiss on your shoulder. Right over your scar.
“I love you more.”
You calmed in her presence as she rocked you on the floor. Your guilt almost made you push her away, but you’re selfish; You need this, for her to hug you.
It felt like she held you for years, right on your apartment floor. She didn’t let you go.
But when your eyes opened, eggshell white hospital walls surrounded you. Kept you trapped in the small hell that Ellie’s created.
You haven’t slept or eaten. You’ve barely showered.
Ellie was with you. Ellie’s with you. You felt her there; She held you! You’re not fucking crazy.
Three days have passed since you were carried out of your apartment by EMTs, according to the investigators that are still terrorizing your fucking home. They assumed you were having a seizure by how still you were. You were unresponsive for minutes, they’d said. Celeste was right. You didn’t have the courage to face her and apologize.
You haven’t left your motel room since you’ve arrived. You hate it in here — it looks like it’s eroding from the outside, the windows are scratched and tinted a murky yellow, the sheets feel like sandpaper, but it’s better than home. Better than being in public amidst your impending psychological breakdown.
Ellie’s here. She’s watching you and laughing at the wreck you’ve become.
You’re slipping; You can feel it. The way she hugged you… You could’ve melted into her for eternity when she said she loved you, never to be seen or heard from again, completely under her control. Not that anyone would care about your disappearance. A gutted huff left you.
Your past finally caught up to you. Tears flooded your eyes for the hundredth time tonight.
The faint shuffling coming from your bathroom didn’t even shock you. She’s here again.
Your eyes overflowed, and they shut in resignation; You’re going to die.
“E-Ellie?”
Silence.
Your eyes squeezed tighter. You have nothing left to fight for.
“Just do it! Just fucking do it!”
That’s all you’ve ever been: a quitter. More shuffling, then silence.
“FUCKING KILL ME! KI— KILL ME, ELLIE!”
You heaved and rose from the edge of your bed. You marched down the seemingly endless hallway, heart cracking in your chest.
“KILL ME! KILL ME, KILLME! —“
Weighted knocks pounded against your room door, shocking you into silence. She’s here, she’s here; She’s fucking with you.
A dark chuckle left you.
“You’re fucking sick,” You spat with a sniffle, “I hate your fucking guts, just like you hated me! You fucking hate me, right?”
You’re awake. And you’re angry.
You tramped towards the entrance and knocked back just as hard.
“FUCK YOU, BITCH! FUCKING — FUCK YOU, ELLIE, YOU FUCKI— “
Heat traveled across your face the second you ripped the door open.
A woman… a motel employee… with sheets in her hand, visibly stunned.
You’re going fucking crazy.
“Uhh… just came to give you new, uh, sheets,” Her voice was high-pitched, clearly uncomfortable. Your eyes flickered with embarrassment, cheeks blazing.
“S-Sorry…” You allowed the shorter woman entry, and she scurried over to the small nightstand in the corner of your room.
You picked at your fingers, “Um… sorry if I scared you. It’s been a weird… fuckin’ weird couple of weeks.”
She didn’t acknowledge you at all. Just silently laid the sheets and pillowcases on the side of your bed.
“Am I,” You huffed, anxiously rubbing your eyes. “Are you gonna report me or somethin’?”
Silence.
Your brows furrowed at the sudden stillness of the woman, her back turned towards you.
“Hey, you okay?” A cautious step forward. “Look, I’m… I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m fine— “
“Fuck you.”
You flinched at her venomous tone; voice filled with spite. The fuck?
“… What?”
“After all this time…” she whispered, the ponytail in the woman’s head shaking in disbelief.
“You’re still the same… selfish, psychotic fucking bitch I remember you to be.”
Your knees buckled at the sudden low timbre of her voice. Goosebumps ran up and down your arms at its familiarity. She sounded just like… She’s… It can’t be. It can’t be, it can’t be—
The one window you cracked for air earlier slammed shut, the clicks from your door signaling your confinement. You’re trapped.
Your nails sunk into your palms; She’s here. She’s real and she’s fucking here and going to kill you.
Her laugh filled the room, low and vengeful, and the one lit lamp on the nightstand flickered off.
Your breaths were shallow and desperate, sheer panic rushing through your body. You took blind, scurried steps towards the door, feeling around for the knob to take your leave, but it wouldn’t budge. You pounded on the wood from the inside, screaming for anyone to come save you.
Something cold and slimy slinked around your ankles and roughly yanked you to the floor, your hands scrambling to grab onto anything on the hardwood as they pulled you towards her. You caught glimpses of her glowing, red eyes with every panicked look over your shoulder.
You were pulled up, up, up by your feet until you were dangling upside down, her glowing orbs piercing through yours. You barely made out her manic smile, fangs bright and as sharp as knives. Something sharp pressed against your windpipe, ready to tear your throat out.
The room she trapped you in disappeared completely, an empty, dark void surrounding her, you. There’s nothing anywhere.
You hollered as your stomach flipped; She’s going to kill you right here—
“Ellie, please, please don’t! —“
A sharp slice right through your shoulder. You released a pained scream before your vision grew cloudy, body growing limp as you swayed in the air. Your screams quieted, your drowsy mind filling with images of Ellie smiling affectionately at you.
Ellie… Ellie, please…
Trees danced with the wind before everything went dark.
Water erupted from your mouth, your eyes ripping open, fingers tearing into the dirt beneath you.
You pushed yourself into a sitting position, more water dripping from your hair and clothes, down your bare legs. Pain shot through your shoulder with every move. You reached to touch it and… ouch. Blood coated your fingertips.
You gazed around. You knew exactly where you were, but it was off.
You and Ellie’s hideout. The campground is exactly how you remember, but it was darker, murkier, less inviting and cozy. Familiar, yet foreign.
“Miss me?”
You jolted, scurrying away from whatever was behind you.
“Aww, don’t be scared,” Ellie mocked, fake pout pulling at her lips. “C’mooon, it’s just me! Welcome to my humble abode!”
What the fuck, what the fuck—
The same appendage from earlier wrapped around your leg, yanking you back, and your heart sank. Your eyes were deceiving you; They had to be.
Ellie, much taller and stronger than you remember, stood over you, pupils pitch black, a devious smile spread across her face, sharp fangs glimmering in the dark. The two horns that swirled atop her head were dark, the protruding veins red and throbbing like they were alive. You saw the sharp edge of her tail glowing behind her head, speckles of red liquid crusting over on the tip.
Is… Did she cut you with that?
Your heart squeezed painfully with familiarity; The small spots that dusted her face and the scars that covered her legs from biking accidents were still there.
“E-Ellie?”
She posed, arms extended, “In the flesh. Kinda. There’s no… actual flesh for the dead… Well, we technically could have skin, but it wouldn’t be ours.”
“I’ve been lookin’ for you. You look good,” she muttered, eyes dark as they traveled over you. You suddenly felt exposed.
Silence passed between the two of you. How was her tone so casual?
What the fuck is going on…
She huffed at your silence, “Didn’t think our ten-year anniversary would be this fucking awkward. Can’t even say hi?”
Her words were hardly registering.
“Huh.” Her eyes flashed back, and the organ around your leg untangled, retracting into the grass beneath you.
“You’ve… you’ve been looking for me?”
“Mhmm,” she hummed, carelessly playing with her razor-sharp nails. “You got outta jail, got a place… bought the bakery you always talked about. Congratulations, jailbird! You beat the system… and were able to outrun the devil for some time!”
She showcased the ashy, decaying scenery like it was a prize. “Here’s your first glimpse into the other side. Is it to your liking? Should I fluff your pending gravestone? Put some roses over it since everyone you love won’t?”
Other side? “… Am I dead?”
“Nope! Almost. You have a purpose before I take you out. Finally, am I right?” Sarcasm sharpened her tongue.
“… You're insane,” your voice was hoarse, shattered. You swore your esophagus was bloody.
“Me?!” She snickered sickly, eyes darkening, “Remind me what happened between us again? Who hurt who? Who killed who?!”
“… I— “
You paused. What the fuck do you say to her? I still love you somehow. Please don’t hate me forever. I’m a worthless fuck up—
“None of the above,” she interrupted… your thoughts? “To be frank, I don’t wanna hear shit from you,” she swayed sassily, circling you like a shark, her tail sashaying around.
“… Why’m I here then?”
She paused, the muscles in her back flexing. Your gut tumbled.
Ellie turned to face you, lips curling devilishly.
“Well… ” she trailed off, voice alluring. “It gets lonely down here. I don’t have anybody to call. Nights are so cold.”
She suddenly dropped to her knees, sensuality practically leaking out of her as she crawled towards you. Your heart was thumping, stomach in knots.
“I need you… to do exactly what I tell you…”
Your breaths shuddered the closer she got.
“I’m so fuckin’ hungry… Just sit there and let me take what I want,” Her mumbles were drunk and lustful. “You fucking owe me. I’m trapped here ‘cause of you.”
She straddled your lap, eyes glued to yours. They flashed red, and an appendage locked around your throat, knocking the wind from your lungs and pulling you flat onto the dirt. You tried to pull against it, but it tightened on your airways. You choked, pain searing in your shoulder, causing you to let up. Another set of slimy appendages clasped around your wrists, followed swiftly by two locking down your ankles.
The burn from your bleeding shoulder made your nipples harden under your filthy sweatshirt. She chuckled above you.
“That was quick,” Her brow arched. “Haven’t gotten any? What, no one wants to drill a felon?” She cooed with a pout.
You shot her a glare. A squeeze on your throat. A clench from your walls.
“Oh!” She exclaimed in remembrance. “Sorry about that club fiasco. I was gonna fuck you then, but seeing you enjoying yourself got on my nerves, so.”
She rambled on about how she made a whole plan to ruin your life the second she found you until you were rotting in the grave, but you weren’t listening. Your eyes moved over her lips, down her neck, over her bare chest, blood burning under your skin. Another squeeze from your cunt. Your face burned with every drop of slick that left you.
“Think I’m cute? The horns doing it for ya?” she interrupted your gawking.
You averted your gaze. She snorted before her expression went lubricious, eyes glossing over.
“You smell so good,” she slurred with fluttery lids.
No, you don’t. You haven’t showered—
“I meant your pussy, you fucking idiot,” her eyes rolled in annoyance. “You’re killin’ my vibe. Shut up.”
Your eyes widened in shock; Don’t think, don’t think—
“She smelled like that in the club. Just needed some lovin’, hm?” Her hand reached back to pat your pussy over your pajama shorts and you squealed. You’re leaking.
“Oh, she’s starving— “
Fear and arousal flurried in your tummy, “What’re you gonna do?”
You could almost see the wires in her head sparking to life. She leaned over you, her cold body pressed against yours, noses almost touching.
“I’m gonna rip that pussy open until I feel better…” The aura around her was smokey and blinding. “And then…” Her nose bumped against yours, almost affectionately. “I’m gonna rip that fucking throat out. Might hang your body from a tree. I needa decorate.”
A choked sob left you, thighs rubbing together as tears plummeted down your temples. Ellie shushed you gently, her forked tongue licking over the droplets before they cascaded down into the grass.
Every swipe of her tongue sent a zap through your face. The sting sent your jolt through your spine, hips bucking into her. A hot, slick line ran up your cheek, grazing your jawline, cat-like spines digging into your clammy skin.
… Is… Is she really…?
You couldn’t stop the shudder that ran up your body, your foot jerking outward at the sensation. The tentacle clenched around your ankles, and you gasped. Ellie was grinding on top of you, whimpering into your neck, marking your skin.
“E-Ellie, El— “
Another swipe, a thick, sticky trail burning its way into your hairline. Your whines are almost inaudible. Pain is burning up your legs when the organ twisted tighter; You’re shocked your ankle didn’t snap in two.
She moved faster on top of you, pleasantly sighing into your neck. Your face is fucking sizzling.
“What the… fuck,” The situation is settling in for you: Ellie’s dead… but, not? And she’s humping you like a dog. You shouldn’t want to watch her, observe the love of your life get off on your fucking stomach, but you — your pussy wants it — needs her.
You missed her so fucking much.
Soft chuckles erupted from her, icy breath on your neck. She sat up, rubbing her bare cunt on your tummy.
“You wanna watch?”
No, no no please—
Your head shook, mind racing with pleads for her to touch you, but she stared back in disapproval.
“I think you wanna watch,” She sat up, lifting her knees and resting her freezing hands on your thighs, her pretty pussy on full display, “Missed me that bad?”
She’s right there, but you can’t move. More tears, more begging from you.
“Wanna see a trick I learned?” She inquired mischievously. You didn’t have a chance to answer before more vine-like organs emerged from the dirt, eager and throbbing, globs of slick dribbling from their tips.
“When you’re sad and horny, answers will eventually fall in your lap,” She watched the appendages sliver all over her shoulders, her back, down her stomach. Her head flew back, her short flyways waving around her horns.
“I bet that fucked up head of yours never expected this would happen, huh? Never thought you’d see me like this?” She moaned out as the suctioned limb traveled over her left nipples, her eyes beaming red, scorching through your chest.
Your walls squeezed down on nothing, desperate groans leaving your throat, underwear clinging to your cunt. You couldn’t close your legs, the members slinked around coming up to suck on your thighs.
Nasty little cuck, her voice boomed through your skull, Wanna watch me get fucked, right?
Your head bobbed dumbly. The appendages scurried down her body. You watched as the veins in her horns glowed brighter, her eyes shading an even deeper scarlet, her lip catching between her teeth when the suctions came in contact with her clit.
The slippery members attacked your thighs with strong suctions, the sensitive skin littered with blotchy, dark spots. A wet slither made its way up your body, under your sweatshirt and in between your tits. The tip teased both nipples, your back arching deeper for more friction. The air was muggy and your body was disgustingly sticky; The sensations made your clit jerk.
You blearily stared up at Ellie, nearly cumming at the sight of her with a thick, throbbing appendage fucking into her pussy, another two attacking her nipples. Her walls were stretched around the dark, pulsing tentacle, her juices filling the open air with sopping squelches.
Her eyes fluttered open and refocused on you, a dark line of drool dripping from her mouth and landing on your exposed torso. You released a pained shout, your skin burning at the contact. Tension built tight in your core, clit throbbing in your underwear. You’re struggling to breathe, head floating further into the clouds with each whimper from Ellie. She giggled hazily, moans sounding between her condescending snickers. She gathered spit in her mouth and allowed it dribble onto one of your breasts.
S’hitting it s’good! Fuck, I can’t—
Finally, finally, the tentacles choking your legs unraveled and crawled up, closer to your drenched cunt. Just one touch — you need one touch and you’ll cum. Just one, just one, please, please—
Slut needs t’cum? Beg some fuckin’ more, c’mon, Ellie’s moans and shouts in your head were somehow bringing you closer to that peak you desperately craved.
“Please, El, please, fuck… me— “
“I’m — oh, fuck, yes— “
Your shorts and underwear were being ripped from around your waist, yanking you in all directions. The friction made your walls constrict tight. The harsh suctions on your clit were instantaneous. Finally, finally, finally—
You and Ellie’s moans melted together, colors floating behind your eyelids. The wet sounds from Ellie’s pussy made your peak build in record time, zoning in on her cries. You’re going to cum so hard. It’s almost there, just a little bit more—
Ellie’s everywhere. In your head, line of blurry vision, on top of you, about to break and shatter. She's so perfect, shrouded in darkness and gloom and desire.
The tentacle suddenly expanded inside her pussy, stretching it wider, massaging all the spots that made her see white.
“M’gonna fucking cum, s’gonna make me cum— “
You’re so close, you’re close, you’re close. You wordlessly begged her to cum with you. Her knees trembled while her legs begged to close, but she forced them open. Forced herself to take everything, all of it. The tentacle pulsed sporadically inside her, and she crashed.
Pleasure was snatched away from you in an instant, the suckles on your clit gone. You cried and sobbed for Ellie to make you cum, but she ignored you, her body wracking in pleasure, heavy globs of black slick dribbling from her cunt, right under your tits.
She rode it out, bouncing on the large appendage before it shrunk to its original size. It jerked inside her a few more times before leaving her completely, more dark, gooey liquid dripping from her pussy.
She came down slowly, giddy laughs leaving her swollen lips as her walls rippled from the aftershocks.
“This is gonna be…” she scooped up some of the substance with her razor-like nails before shoving them into your mouth.
The peculiar twang coated your tastebuds. She continued.
“So much fun.”
You never thought you’d have the chance to kiss Ellie again.
But you are, and you’re so fucking nervous.
When you kissed her for the first time, you were confident, impulsive, reckless. Your regret didn’t come until after, but now here you two were, her split tongue messily sliding over yours, your tongue sizzling from the venom coating her mouth. Ellie’s mess seeped into your skin with each jerk of her hips. You’d give anything to touch her.
Your eyes squeezed shut every time she suckled on your lips, licked up your chin, squeezed her hand over your throat. She’s much more secure this time around; It’s almost enough to get you there.
Almost.
You were suddenly yanked back by your hair, head thudding the ground. Ellie seemed deep in thought, eyes distant.
“You’re a bad kisser.”
Your lip quivered. Ouch, “S… Sorry…”
“Ellie?” Your throat burned.
“Yes, dear?”
Her tone made you flinch. Everything you wanted to say left your brain in a cloud of smoke.
“Am… Am I…?”
“Are youuu…?” She trailed off. Her hand disappeared, lower, before a loud, sticky noise blaring in your head. She sighed happily; Ellie’s touching herself. Right in front of your face.
Your face is on fire and your shoulders are cramping up.
“Will… Can I, can I cum?”
“I don’t know… can you?” She shrugged with a smile.
Your eyes nearly rolled in annoyance; they would’ve if you weren’t so desperate to be fucked senseless.
She sat up fully, her wet hand reaching right in between your legs. They nearly clamped shut on her wrist, but more tentacles appeared to hold them open for her. She wasn’t looking at your pussy, but she knew exactly where to touch you. She rubbed her own juices into your clit, a nasty shhlck filling the calm air.
Tears built in your eyes at the sensitivity, your toes digging into the dirt beneath you. Her thoughtless mumbles were barely registering in your melting brain. Your impending orgasm nearly crashed into you before she stopped.
Your body tensed and your pleasure dissipated. Sobs left your mouth as you garbled, “E—llie, please, please, no more— “
“Don’t close your legs, I mean it. Take what I give you like a good bitch,” Ellie shimmied down your body, resting in between your legs. The tentacles hooked under your knees and forced them up, holding them right against your chest. You can’t see what Ellie’s doing and she’s silent.
You wanted to ask what was taking so fucking long—
A loud crack rang through the heavily wooded area, pain searing through your thigh. The stinging sensation brought tears to your eyes, sobbing softly to yourself.
The sudden flicking against your clit brought tears to your eyes. She’s touching you, finally. Your arms pulled at the veiny tentacles still clamped around your wrist, aches running down to your shoulders at the stiffness.
Ellie’s fingers were replaced with something much softer, and your body turned to mush. The appendages around your thighs twisted tighter, gripped harder, as the barbs from her tongue caught on your clit. It felt so fucking good; her split muscle moved so quick on your clit; your yelps of her name sound into the crisp air. You’ve been on the verge of cumming this entire time, but you can’t.
Suddenly, her tongue is easing downward, brushing against your perineum. Your hips tried to push down into her muscle, but to no avail. You could feel numbness building in your feet from the restriction.
Look at this tight little ass, two of her fingers were massaging your other hole, causing you to whimper.
Yeah? she pressed down harder, Like it right there?
Your head gravely bobbed in approval; you’ve never been touched there, but you crave it now.
Tiny fucking hole… gotta get you ready, huh?
Her voice is thick and haughty; you’re shivering.
A glob of spit lands on your ass, the sensitive skin tingling, numbness spreading across the pulsing area. She rubbed it in quickly and gave your hole one last slap.
Her tongue was back at your cunt; you squealed at the sensation of her tongue slivering past your entrance, walls stretching over her muscle. The soft splinters massaged your walls just right, caressing all the spots inside you and you felt it building —
Suddenly, her tongue stretched wider, expanded, pressed down on your walls, right on your spot; you were squirting on her tongue seconds later. You couldn’t warn her of your orgasm before you bursted, walls desperately milking her as satisfied shouts escaped your lips, your brain turning to goo.
“El — mmh! Fuck, yes, rightthere! —“
Sniveled thank yous were pouring from your lips as Ellie fucked into you, your juices coating her face. Bursts of color exploded behind your eyelids.
You thought you would never come down, but the intensity of your orgasm slowed, eyes slowly blinking open. Your vision was spotty; Ellie slowly pulled out, humming at the squeals that left you. You couldn’t move.
Suddenly all the tentacles were gone, limbs free and weightlessly plopping onto the ground. Your eyelids fell shut in exhaustion, your heart flooding with longing.
“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” A light kick on your shoulder.
Ellie…
“Get the fuck up. I’m not done,” she snorted coldly.
Ellie… please…
“What the fuck did I say,” The agitation in her tone rose.
I’m so sorry…
“I don’t care,” You were suddenly pushed onto your back, Ellie standing over you, eyes glowing dimly.
I miss you so much…
Memories of your past flowed through you, soft sobs shaking your weak form. Ellie deserved… everything good out of life. The purest forms of happiness were destined in her path, and you took it away. You took everything from her, and all you could do was watch what she’s become. What you caused.
The more you cried, the more disgusted she seemed, eyes growing darker.
She pounced on you in seconds, nails grasping your bunched sweatshirt and sharp tail tip prepped to end you right then and there, speckles of spit splattering on your face due to her shouts.
“DON'T!” The dying world around you shook with the bass of her tone. “Don’t you fucking dare!”
You didn’t fight. You allowed her to berate you, call you every vile name in the book, and digested her wishes of you dying instead of her. Every scream slammed into your chest; you merely laid there, ready to die with love in your chest.
I love you… I love you… I love you…
“FUCK YOU, YOU LYING BITCH! FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING DID THIS TO ME! I’M GONNA KILL YOU— “
Bloody streams fall from Ellie’s eyes, the veins in her head changing from maroon to coal, the veins in her arms darkening as her voice deepened, razorous teeth baring. She sobbed and screamed from above you, wailing how much she hated you. You’re numb.
The venom from her tail was discharging from the tip. It’s time; it’s your last day alive. You nodded to yourself. You deserve this; You’re ready. You hope your siblings aren’t too saddened by your disappearance.
Is this the final stage of grief? Your body is lax and accepting, heavy droplets leaving your eyes when they shut.
I love you… I’m sorry… I love you…
Another sharp prick went through your shoulder, and darkness enclosed around you.
JUNIOR YEAR: 2012
You’re such a dork!
Ellie swears her heart is going to grow legs and crawl up her throat in the next thirty seconds if you keep staring at her like that. She's projecting; She’s the dork!
The few shots she took at the lake were wearing off, and her nerves were finally catching up to her. She was surrounded by your pillows, your stuffies, your scent; she could barely swallow, her throat was so dry.
You love me.
She does. Ellie never acted on her swiftly developed crush; she’s not built for rejection, especially from you. The smile on your face was so bright; your joy was so apparent whenever she was around. She hoped her own happiness reflected the same way; Please love me back! Please please please—
Her heart exploded, sewed itself back together, only to explode again when your hand came up, fingertips barely grazing her cheek. She’s going to faint; your touch was so soft. Was she crazy to compare the feel of your hands to rose petals? She tried to keep her nuzzles subtle, pushing her face closer to your hand; Is this how cats feel when they want cuddles?
You proceeded to explore her face in silent adoration, and she did the same, memorizing every detail she could. The moles on your face were lined like stars.
She scooted closer to give you more access to her now burning skin, and you kissed her. Ellie was stunned, body stiff; she didn’t have a chance to kiss you back before you pulled away. The scent of alcohol was pouring from you, and Ellie snapped back to reality.
You’re drunk. You kissed her and you’re drunk.
You’re probably not going to remember the entire night when you wake the next morning. Ellie’s eyes nervously searched your now downcast face. Say something, you coward!
But you spoke first.
You love me, right?
More than anything, Ellie wanted to scream, not caring if your parents woke up and kicked her out. But she couldn’t. Her brain was moving a million miles a minute, trying to find the words that would satisfy her feelings, but they were too strong. She’s in too deep; Words aren’t enough.
But you look broken and your body’s tense. She’s putting you on edge and she hates herself for it.
Do you love me? Your begging tone snapped her out of her head.
Of course I do, she gasped, mouth gaping like a fish.
More than anything! More than anything! I love you!
You only nodded, relaxed back into her, and shut your eyes.
Ellie went to sleep with a terrible feeling in her stomach, but she held you anyway.
Ellie’s weight crushed you as she sobbed into your neck, her cries loud and guttural, the sharp puncture of her horn pressing into the plush of your cheek. Her curses grew weak and quiet, mumbles of I fucking hate you cementing into your skin.
You simply laid beneath her, unmoving and stunned wordless at the memory — the truth that Ellie exposed to you. Her body jerked on yours as she wailed.
You hardly noticed the fresh tears rolling down your face. You sniffed, “Ellie…”
She sobbed, her head shaking dismissively.
“Ellie… Look at me…” You couldn’t move.
“Fuck you,” her choked murmur was hushed.
A sad smile grew on your face.
“Almost did…”
Ellie sniffed harshly against the burnt skin on your neck, almost touching your bloody shoulder, “What.” She mumbled flatly.
“Y’know… you almost did fuck me.”
Some silence passed before a wet snort came from below you. Your grin widened.
Ellie’s shoulders shook slightly as she snickered into your neck, arching hers slightly to look at you.
“I should kill you for that, you cunt. You’re not funny.”
Your body jerked with laughter, and you grimaced at the pain in your shoulder. “That's what you get.” Ellie sat up straight, smile slowly dissipating, eyes glossing over.
The light moment between you shifted, and sorrow weighed you down like bricks.
“I fucking loved you,” Ellie whispered harshly. “I wanted you to be happy. And you didn’t fucking care.” Anger was radiating off her, but the dread in her eyes was more telling. “You were… everything to me.”
The wounds in your heart were overflowing; your efforts of repairing your heart were proved pointless, blood and love and suffering filling your chest to the brim. Quiet sobs were shared between the two of you.
“Please k-kiss me,” Ellie’s eyes squeezed shut at your hushed proposal.
“Just one more. You can do whatever you want… just one last time.”
You sat up slowly, ignoring the deep aches in your side, your trembling hands cautiously raising to cup Ellie’s frosty cheeks.
Her face is so close; her lips are right there… just one more, just one—
Ellie’s eyes traveled across your face, lust and years of longing flooding in her tears. Her eyes shut and she leaned forward, her cold lips melding against yours. The kiss was gentle, your eyes squeezing shut as you cried, your tears transferring onto her cheeks.
Ellie’s hushed tone filled your head.
I wish I hated you.
You choked a sob, arms wrapping around her hips to pull her closer, her arms enclosing around your neck, the kiss growing hotter. You needed her closer; so much closer.
Her tongue slid past your mouth, the split muscle messily flicking over yours as her hips bucked down. You heard loud tears of cloth coming from behind you as Ellie shredded your sweatshirt with her claws, discarding the fabric on the dark heaps of grass.
She sighed into your mouth when you laid her back onto the grass soaking, crawling on top of her. Her legs wrapped around your waist, pulling you down to reconnect your mouths, her fangs cutting into your bottom lip. She sucked the injured skin, humming at the metallic taste; your hips bucked down harder to meet hers, and she whimpered.
Her hands were freezing as they slid down your bare sides, claws pressing into your hips. You could feel your heart pounding in your throat as you kissed down her neck, soft noises of satisfaction erupting from beneath you. You suckled on her throat, tongue sliding down to her jaw and back up again.
“Can I, fuck, let me do something— “
You moaned in approval, thighs shaking at the sound of her voice, coming back up to press your mouth against hers.
A heavy gasp left you at the feel of slime dripping onto your thigh. Ellie dug her nails into your hips to steady you, and you whined at the sting. You stared down, entranced at her gleaming eyes, bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
“Hold still.” Ellie’s whisper was strangely comforting, your body relaxing into hers. The light suck on your thigh made you squeak, chuckles releasing from the girl beneath you.
“And you’ve been doing this for how long?” you jokingly snarked, voice shaky.
“Meh, six years, nothing crazy,” she replied, shrugging sarcastically. “Just don’t move.”
Ellie’s hand moved lower, pressing at the end of your spine to deepen the arch in your back. She shushed your eager whimpers, slowly easing your hips back until your cunt brushed against the serpent-like organ. You shuddered and attempted to jerk away at the strange sensation, but Ellie held you still, snorting to herself.
A sharp gasp escaped your lips at the feel of its tip swirling at your clit, your head dropping onto Ellie’s shoulder. It took mere seconds for the suction to attack your sensitive clit, pleasured moans huffing from your mouth. Ellie’s mouth was right by your ear, her chilled breaths sending shockwaves down your spine. Your clit throbbed under the pressure: how were you already on the verge of cumming?
“Feels g-good? Yeah?”
Your walls were squeezing down harshly, desperate to hug and milk something hot through your orgasm. It takes all your strength to lift your head and kiss Ellie, but she does all the work; licking into your mouth, sucking on your tongue, bruising your lips with every slice of her fang. Every pass of her tongue is a pull in your gut, your clit pulsating with vigor.
She pulled back, just barely, to whisper how excited she is to fuck you, to turn your pussy out, to make you cry. Your moans were loud and eager, your head bobbing dumbly in compliance with anything she wanted. You’d give her everything you could in this moment.
Ellie’s in your head, in your senses, in between your thighs, and you’re losing it. She’s reaching at you, tugging at your body in any way she could: scratching at your tits, pulling your hair, clawing into your skin with intent to scar. You’re sure your back is bloody. Her touch is painful; why does it feel so good?
Your thoughtless head drops yet again as your orgasm is forced out of you, your walls choking the hot air surrounding the two of you. Your wails are muffled along with Ellie’s spat praises, your hips bucking back for more. The pleasure is almost too much and you’ve barely started; She hasn’t even fucked you yet.
Your juices are pooling out of you, knowingly making a puddle on Ellie’s tummy, her affirmed moans pulling more and more out of you. Your peak is unrelenting, draining every last bit of energy your body has left. Your limbs gave out, your weight crashing on top of Ellie’s.
She hastily maneuvered you onto your back, the spines of grass puncturing your skin from beneath you as she climbed on top.
“Your stamina’s fucked.”
Her winded snide remarks didn’t bother you; you need her to fuck you. You’re sweaty and desperate to feel her everywhere. She wasted no time, reuniting your mouths in an eager kiss as her hands ventured anywhere they could. Your body’s aching, but for some reason, you crave more. More hurt, more pain; You need her to use you.
The world around you moved like water; unlike your first dream, the waves brought comfort. Ellie’s touch felt like the ocean washing you away, all with effort to finally bring you peace.
But it didn’t work. You love her; You deserve pain, and you love her.
Her mouth is on your tits, biting and sucking at your nipples. It feels so good to have her this close; your body’s wet and ready for her to ravish you.
Ellie scurried down your body, sat on her knees in between your legs, her hands pressed under yours to hold them up. Your thighs are resting on your chest as Ellie dribbles a line of slobber over your soaking lips. Hums fill the space between you as it slides down, right over your entrance.
Seconds pass as Ellie stares at your cunt; You call out to her by mistake.
“What.”
Fuck. “No-nothing. Sorry.”
“You want something. Say it.”
You shake your head, and she smiles. Raunchy imagery of her fucking your pussy flash across your mind in an instant, and her grin widens.
You jolt at the sudden slap on your cunt before Ellie presses your legs even higher, knees almost next to your head. You ignore the aching stretch in your limbs and reach to grab your ass cheeks, holding them open for her. Heat spreads across your face when she moans at the sight.
Oh fuck, Ellie’s whimpering to herself; whining about how good your pussy’s going to feel, how you’re going to swallow her whole, choke her out. Juices are oozing from your cunt with each jerk of your walls.
A tentacle emerges from the ground, and Ellie’s expression darkens. It’s lecherous; the way she eyes your pussy as the organ slivers closer to your entrance. You couldn’t hold your moans in anticipation of the stretch. It’s right there, swelling and twitching.
Your head falls back against the sopping grass when your hole grasps the wide, leaking tip, eyes rolling into your head as Ellie’s moans ring deep in your skull. The tentacle is practically melting between your walls as they spasm.
Ellie’s so loud above you, completely hunched over your form as her body shudders, her lip trapped between her sharp teeth. They must’ve pierced the skin, a thin trail of black liquid dripping all the way down her neck.
You take it so fuckin’ good, Ellie’s slurring, tongue swelled in her mouth. You’re already peaking, your legs attempting to slam shut at the tight hug of your walls. The organ is suddenly swelling, walls stretching around the girth to trap it as deep as it can go. Tears are running down your face, groans of Ellie’s name melding with your harsh breaths.
Seconds pass, and the tentacle’s shooting inside, and your head goes blank, your orgasm slamming into you. You're silent as it wrings your body. The intensity is almost painful, like it’s being forced from your body and your cunt’s drained dry: it’s hot inside you where the fluid pools, and your walls are sucking it deeper.
You didn’t register Ellie falling forward, her body convulsing on yours, screams of how good your cunt is leaving her in a flurry. Her words are gritted and deep and her nails are in your bicep, but the pain only makes you cum harder.
It’s been minutes, and you’re deadweight, walls twitching around the still jerking organ planted deep inside your guts. No time to recover, though; Ellie’s pulling out, a nasty sound echoing at her departure as cum seeps — drenches the grass under you. It’s never-ending and sticky and you need more.
Ellie’s already up and moving you onto your stomach, your cheek pressed against the dirt. She’s hasty, spitting on your cunt with a fiery just a dumb slut, huh? You nod, squeezing your walls to push more cum out. There are heavy suctions on your back, forcing blood to the surface at the curve of your spine. Followed by a sharp stabbing on your ass cheek.
Ellie’s mouth is on your supple skin, and the blood in your ass rushes to the surface. Her fangs are locked into you as she empties the veins in your ass.
You couldn’t even scream, eyes squeezing shut at the searing pain as your walls release more cum. Ellie hums: another bite. More blood’s leaving you, being sucked from your ass, your thighs, the end of your spine, but it’s not enough. You need more. Ellie’s draining you but it’s not nearly enough.
Another tentacle presses in once more, and your vision’s blurring; there’s another tentacle sucking at your ass, your eyes crossing at the stimulation of both your holes. Ellie’s nails are breaking the skin of your back, dribbles of blood sliding down your sides and into the dirt. You love her and you love it; everything feels so warm and full and good.
Ellie’s chides are making you wetter; your thighs won’t stop shaking, she sounds so sexy. Every shockwave in your brain is memorizing every word, every syllable. She's babbling about how she might spare, keep you trapped here forever so she can drain your blood through your pussy, suck you dry, and it gets you there again.
Ellie — m’cu—cumming!
You don’t know what you’re saying; voice muffled against the dirt, tears and snot running down your face while you squeal like a pig. Ellie’s calling you one as you squirt on her, just a dumb, worthless pocketpussy; The smile on your face is stupid as your walls drain her while she throbs inside you. You’re so stuffed with her cum already, but you need more inside you. You feel so fucking good and the pleasure won’t seize.
It picks up again as the thrusts get faster, hitting you deeper, just where you need it. You don’t get to recover before you’re slung into another mind-numbing orgasm, your body wracking without rest. Ellie’s massaging every spot that makes your spine break, dirt collecting under your nails as they puncture the ground. Your groans are cracking in your throat; You can’t even swallow.
The tentacle’s swelling again, and Ellie’s hand is on the back of your head, pressing your cheek against the grass, nails scratching at your scalp as you beg for her cum. Her moans are picking up again, demanding that you beg some more, that you fucking cry for it, be a good girl a bleed for me. And you do.
As messily as you can; slobber pooling at your mouth as you sob and choke for her cum, eyes crossed in your skull as your tongue lolls, and Ellie’s shooting in you again, stuffing you to the brim as she cries your name from behind, grunts leaving her with each rope of cum seeps in your womb.
Your pussy’s melting around her when the sucking at your ass pauses, only to push in the incredibly tight space, to stretch your virgin hole open around its girth. It should hurt, having both holes filled to such a wild degree, but it doesn’t. Your weak arm is reaching behind, desperately grabbing at Ellie. You expect her to smack you away, to hit you, to slice your hand clean off your wrist, but she doesn’t; You almost miss the light touch, her pinky lacing with yours.
You’re joyous, head dropping as you sob from pleasure and happiness, heart filled with a love that you never thought you’d feel again.
She’s drilling your ass, fucking you so hard and good as she holds your smallest finger with hers, kissing down your bloody back, licking up the scarlet that leaks from your skin. Suddenly, another tentacle — much smaller than the ones tearing your holes up — emerges from the ground, right in front of your face, its juices leaking onto your cheeks.
It wiggles in front of your open mouth before shoving in; the taste is salty and metallic, but your lips work it, sucking and licking all around the length. You feel so filthy and it’s making your tummy tug, another orgasm building in your pussy and ass. It’s going to shatter you completely from its strength, you can feel it.
Your body’s aching for more cum; you’re surprised it’s not coming spilling from your throat and onto the appendage in your mouth. But Ellie’s close, every whisper becoming more frantic as she rides that edge.
You’re mine, she whispers in your ear, Fucking mine, you understand? You’re not going anywhere.
You get it, you get it! You’re never leaving her again. Fuck everything you’ve built for yourself! Your life is pointless without Ellie next to you. You’re going to cum so hard for her.
Your body’s hers; Your heart is hers; your soul is hers. You love her, you love her!
Baby likes that? I own this fucking pussy?
She knows she does: whispers so gross and conniving and you’re twitching under her. You’re babbling around the swelling appendage, telling her — screaming that you belong to her, you always have. You always will!
You feel her teeth as she grins madly in satisfaction, sloppily mumbling mine mine s’ my pussy against your skin as she swells inside you. You’re stretching, gaping around her and you snap, head planting into the dirt. Both sets of walls clamp down sporadically around the large digits between them, the tentacle slipping from your mouth as you scream.
Ellie’s exploding inside both holes, the tentacle above you spraying all over your face, heavy globs of cum landing in your hair, the back of your neck, splattering on your mouth, anywhere it could reach. Juices are spraying from between you, and Ellie falls forward, her freezing chest on your back as she jerks on top of you. Hearing her just as destroyed from the pleasure sends another surge of euphoria through you, somehow stronger than the first.
You can barely take it, but Ellie makes you, continues flooding your holes until they’re overflowing and sticky. You’re both sent to another plane as you convulse together, her pinky still locked with yours as you lose consciousness.
When you wake, there’s warmth.
You’re still filled to the brim with cum, but your form is blanketed. Small, tired huffs hit your back as Ellie shivers on top of you, barely audible noises alerting her satisfaction. You smile.
You can't move; all your strength is used to wiggle the cramped muscle of your interlocked finger. Tears well in your eyes when Ellie’s finger hugs yours tighter with every small movement.
Ellie’s the blanket; Ellie’s warm.
Suddenly, everything around you is pink, the formerly empty spaces in your heart filled with affection. You missed Ellie so much; You’re finally reunited, and in love. You can’t stop smiling, and neither can she.
—
—
—
‘BREAKING NEWS: BAKERY OWNER FOUND DECAPITATED IN MOTEL BED’
Today marks one of the most heart-wrenching, horrifying days that our community has ever seen, the local reporter stated. We have never witnessed a case end this disastrous.
To the loved ones of this individual, we share our deepest condolences. The victim made such a large impact on our tiny town with her small business. Nobody… the reporter sighed, Nobody could’ve seen this coming.
Please be on the lookout for any updates regarding the suspect. Investigators are putting as much effort into this case as they can. Police suggest staying indoors with your loved ones this holiday until further instructions.
May God be with her family. Have a blessed night.
idk how to use picsart sorry yall LOL
taggiesss ily thank u 4 being patient :D :
@digit4lslut @hrtmal @sawaagyapong @starologist @shurisbigtoe @iamtootiredtopost @elliew-illiamsmissingfingers @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @slutty4abby @chrry1ovr @moonchild184 @womenofarcane @ohlawdthebirds @ellabsprincess @inf3ct3dd @aouiaa @dropsofs4turn @masclover111 @dyk3ang3l @zzzlove @jayy2inlovee @aandersonsbackpack @jade-posts-sometimes @elspeanut @elsbunny222 @alittlextrahoney @ultraviolenceellie @shamelessparty @0verthebluemoon @yuckyfucky
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams angst#ellie williams au#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#the last of us 2#kinktober#lesbian#demon!ellie#works 𖧧࣪
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Yearning
✿ neteyam x fem!reader ✿
➳ summary: neteyam and you have been crushing on each other for the longest time, with a lot of built-up tension. However, neither of you expected his parents to get in the way of your love.
➳ warnings: him and reader aged up, tiny bit of angst, mention of readers parents being dead, neteyam and you pining over eachother, slight talks about arranged marriage/ mates if you squint, fluff at the end
➳ note: this is my first avatar work, so please be nice! Reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated <3
You were fed up. Fed up with his longing stares, and especially with the looks the other villagers gave you. Like you couldn't hear the whispers. As if you couldn't feel their condescending looks. Him staring at you only made matters worse for the fact.
Neteyam couldn't care less about the villagers. Hell, he didn't even know what exactly they were whispering about. Their disparaging looks didn't make it too difficult to figure out, though. You were perfect in his eyes. You had never judged him when he cried in your arms at night, while he let down the long-since-built walls, constructed as a consequence of his father's harsh words.
Neytiri could only shake her head, amazed at the similarities between her firstborn and her husband. They were both lovable, but when it came to showing that love outwardly to those they loved, embarrassment appeared quicker than she could shoot an arrow. Too many times she's had to wake you up late at night and send you home when you and Neteyam have been fooling around late into the night about some topic she thought was silly, and ended up falling asleep half on top of one another. A true masterpiece, as she would call it. And not infrequently, an unmissable blush would appear on Neteyam's cheeks as soon as she would mention it. With the number of times this already has happened, Jake was more than confused about the sudden change of color on his son's face, only for Neytiri to displeasingly shake her head. Sully boys and love, like she said.
For the two of you, there was only one thing: you would make fun of his little brother for the rest of your days. As friends. What else?
Your parents died in an attack by the sky people just before the Sullys decided to seek out another clan for the safety of their people. You didn't let go of Neteyam's arms for nights on end, and even though your nails were digging into his back, almost painfully, and his chest was smooth with tears, he never sent you away. It wasn't a difficult decision to go with him. Who else did you have?
✿
You walked arm in arm along the beach. The sun shone down on you relentlessly, pleasantly beating down your hair, and warming your skin. You could still feel the freezing wind that blew over the sea, grateful more than ever for the weather Eywa blessed you with after your long journey. Thanks to Neteyam, you had a not-too-hard time arriving, Tuk however took it the hardest. The eight-year-old still refused to make friends her age, instead clinging to her siblings whenever possible. Jake and Neytiri were usually too busy with clan affairs, which hit the youngest harder than she admitted. Lo'ak, however, preferred to spend his time with a certain curly-haired Na'vi. Surely it wasn't on purpose, but an eight-year-old would hardly understand that. Kiri was mostly out in the ocean anyway and didn't come back until late in the evening with a handful of accessories. No way you had a problem taking care of her! But in moments like these, when you were just a girl and Neteyam just a boy with no responsibilities, you were grateful more than ever for Eywa's blessing.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when you felt a prick in your upper left arm. A grin crossed Neteyam's face as you darted around to him, eyes narrowed and mouth wide open. He just shrugged his shoulders. "You could have just said no instead of scaring the hell out of me...looked like your mind left your body." You rolled your eyes. Neteyam has always been the more dramatic of the two of you, which has often shown to not be helpful in the most harmless situations. Neither of you would ever forget the incident with the pa'li, nor Neytiri's 3-hour-long debark. Since then you have never dared to ride one of these creatures again, which couldn't be said of Neteyam. Of course not. He needed adventure like air to breathe, and adventure needed him just as equally.
His long fingers wandered from your shoulder to your waist, where they lingered comfortably. You couldn't help but feel how your breath quickened and your body tingled where it touched Neteyam's. You prayed to Eywa that he couldn't feel how fast your heart was beating. More and more often lately, the eldest Sully boy didn't even have to touch you to get that kind of reaction out of you. But when he touched you... Suddenly you were very aware of his big hand on your waist, the way his fingers dug into the flesh...
"Y/N? Y/N! Wiya, you did it again! Seems like you don't even want to listen to me anymore..."
Pushing the inappropriate thoughts out of your head, you shook your head violently. "Teyam, no! It's just... I don't know. Everything feels so different lately. As if this peace were just a cruel dream, and we could wake up to reality at any moment."
His gaze softened, gently pulling you towards him so that your entire left half was now pressed against his right. "If this was a dream, I'd be glad you were in it. Maybe this is just a dream, so what? Then this would be the best dream ever." He playfully pinched your waist, which elicited an angry squeak. Quickly he averted his eyes and cleared his throat, missing the way your entire face was blushing. Eywa, this must certainly be a dream, he thought. He swallowed hard, looked up at the sky, and then back into your eyes. "My mom keeps asking about you. I think if you don't come to dinner tonight she'll wring my neck herself."
You grinned. "That would be too bad..." He looked at you in mock indignation but couldn't help the laughter that escaped his throat. "So, you'll come? For my mom?", he asked, looking at you with his puppy eyes. Your knees almost buckled at the sight, but you managed to look at him with a pursed mouth. "For your mom? Neteyam, if that's just another excuse to put those nasty leaves in my food that give me a rash-" "It was one time! Lo'ak threatened to push me off my ikran the next time we would have a mission again!", he interrupted you, but quickly closed his mouth when he saw the look in your eyes. Sometimes you were more like his mother than he would have liked. He had apologized to you for hours at the time and sat in front of your tent for 2 days because you had given him the cold shoulder. He could take it that you were mad at him, but it felt as if some part of him was missing when you weren't with him. There was a heavy storm at the time, and he would probably have frozen to death from all the rain and wind if you hadn't dragged him into your tent with your own hands and forced him to eat. He refused to even touch the food until you accepted his apology. Eywa, could he be stubborn...
Slowly you started to walk on, dragging Neteyam with you. You couldn't stay mad at him for long. Not your Neteyam. You breathed in slowly and audibly, a smile again creeping its way onto your face. "How could I ever turn down your mother's food..."
✿
"And then Neteyam here said that he didn't have to bathe for 2 weeks as a protest, just because I pointed out to him that he would scare away the whole prey with such a stench," Neytiri said with a full mouth, a handful of bladder polyps on her plate. The plant's salty taste was delicious, leaving a tingling sensation on your tongue after you chew and swallow it. Jake once compared its taste to the one of a pickle, whatever that was.
Neteyam's face flushed, his eyes grazing yours to see if you even caught his mother's words. He was suddenly very aware of your proximity. How your thigh grazed his, or the sweet smell of the perfume that Tsireya must have given you. He would always prefer your natural scent but still could only pray that his body wouldn't betray him during the duration of this meal. He prayed.
Jake cleared his throat and almost all conversation ceased except for Kiri's soft chatter with Tuk. He admonished the two with a quick look but didn't bother any further with their talk. "This wonderful dinner, prepared by my wonderful mate", he said with a loving gaze toward Neytiri, "finally gives us a chance to get together again. There is much that needs to be talked about, some urgent matters that take priority." Neteyam looked at him warily, not quite taking his gaze off of you yet. Jake was now facing Neteyam, who was switching from looking at you and his father. "As you surely know, the time has come in your life when you have to make certain decisions. Coupled with the rumors going around... Neteyam, you need a mate."
He could have also set fire to the tent, and thrown the entirety of you into the ocean. The sound that escaped from your throat sounded almost outraged. Neteyam swallowed hard, trying to hide the sweat from his hands. There was no way his father chose to have this conversation the one time you agreed on having dinner with him.
"Do we have to have this conversation when Y/N's over?"
"Don't worry, Y/N was expected to have this conversation in a few days as well. Having her eat here with us today only avoids unnecessary complications," Jake dismissed. Neytiri had a look in her eyes that you couldn't read, looking down at her plate vehemently. Tuk's and Kiri's conversation had also fallen silent in the meantime, the two girls now doing the same as their mother, although you could see Tuk sneakily glancing up at what her father was saying.
Neteyam shook his head, but Jake warned him with a look you've seen all too often on the father's face. "Rumors are floating around Neteyam... rumors that you've already chosen someone. Do you know how much concern these rumors are causing? And guess who the number 1 guess is." You knew he meant you. And from the way Neteyams ears twitched, you knew that he was aware of that too.
Neteyam hoped that if everyone saw him with you, they would finally understand that he wasn't interested in anyone else, and certainly never would be. But it rather seemed like it had the opposite effect.
Jake's gaze softened a bit after looking at his wife's reaction. It seemed like she wasn't particularly excited to have this conversation, particularly not with you there to witness it. "I don't want to deprive you of your freedom of choice by any means son, but since you refuse to take Y/N as your-", he started, but Neteyam interrupted him with a snarl. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're friends? Friends! You act like the clan will throw us out if I don't choose a woman tomorrow." But the head of the family did not put up with any arguments. He raised his hand to signal Neteyam to be quiet. "We're lucky the clan took us so well. And surely no one cares that you're still unmated, but do you really want people to start talking? Especially about Y/N, who certainly has nothing to do with your situation."
Neteyam said nothing. He just looked down at his plate, defeated, all appetite driven away. It shouldn't bother you that much. You guys were friends after all, best friends if you can put it that way. But that he preferred to be the number one topic of conversation, instead of even considering mating with you...
No. No. No. You couldn't think like that. It was Neteyam after all! Your accommodating, incredibly considerate Neteyam, whom you would like to wring his neck for all the feelings he aroused in you. You didn't even notice your feet carrying you out of the tent, nor Neytiri's worried look, or Tuk's plaintive call of your name.
Maybe you were wrong. Maybe it wasn't just Neteyam who needed adventure in his life to survive. And perhaps it was Neteyam who was the real adventure in your life. Who was your adventure...
✿
The waves were unusually calm as you were sitting on the sand with Tsireya by your side as if Eywa sensed how shaken you were. It has been a week since the incident at the Sullys. You were thankful more than ever to have your own tent, as you didn't want any confrontation with Neteyam or his parents yet. You weren't sure if you would ever want that. Tsireya must have noticed your sudden change in mood because she said nothing, instead sitting next to you while the two of you worked on a necklace. She firmly believed that being creative and doing something was a great help against bad moods. And truly, you haven't felt at peace like that since before the dinner a week ago.
Your fingers almost hurt from the repeating motion you had to do to create the certain pearl pattern you wanted in your necklace, when you suddenly heard voices behind you. No no no. Your field of vision was suddenly blocked from the sun, and you had to tilt your neck uncomfortably to face the source of your problems. Of course, your moment of peace had to be interrupted by him. Neteyam Sully had his hands clasped behind his back and his expression seemed blank, were it not for the small smile that had long been reserved just for you. Tsireya looked back and forth between you, asking you with a silent look if this was okay with you. You just nodded slightly, never taking your eyes off Neteyam. Taking the hint, she took her unfinished necklace and quietly snuck away.
Neteyam looked after her until she disappeared from his sight, and then took the spot next to you where Tsireya just sat. Neither of you said anything for a few minutes until he finally spoke. "You know, my mom almost killed me when I didn't run after you." You didn't say anything, which he took with a nod and the sign to continue. "I never really paid attention to girls when I grew up. Why should I when I grew up with the best of them?" You slowly turned to him and realized that his eyes were on you. You almost stood up, if his eyes didn't have that pleading look in them. So you just continued to listen.
"I've never questioned my disinterest in girls growing up, thinking that the right one just hadn't walked into my life yet. But I was stupid, so stupid. Eywa, I probably still am." You couldn't help but grin at his words, and he laughed at how easily he could coax a reaction out of you. Slowly, not wanting to scare you away, he slipped his hands into yours so that you were now facing him. "Y/N... I never saw it. I never understood why my parents never wanted to stop teasing me about you. But I guess I didn't want to see it. Didn't want to realize that there was a possibility, a big one at that, that you might not feel the same as I do." Your heart was beating wildly, and you thought for a moment that he could hear how wildly it was beating, how wildly it was beating for him, when his gaze slid to your chest and then up again. He gently squeezed your hand, unconsciously stroking the back of your hand with his thumb soothingly.
You knew what he was getting at, the look in his eyes almost unbearable. You didn't know what you were supposed to say, your throat feeling tight all of a sudden, unable to get any sound out of it. So you just scooted closer to him, your chest now barely touching his. "I always thought there was something wrong with me. That I wasn't in a position to like the chief's son even a little bit more than his best friend should. But..." You looked up at him desperate, gazing at his lips for a short second. His pupils dilated with something indescribable at seeing your flushed cheeks and blown eyes. You could have sworn that the air around you was buzzing. No words needed to be said as you two stared at each other, no words to express the magnitude of feelings that existed between you.
"Neteyam, I-"
"I see you Y/N."
You sat there with a dumbfounded look on your face, mouth wide open at the fact that he shamelessly interrupted your confession. Part of you wanted to smack him in the chest for that, but you were sure that any more physical contact would make your heart actually fail. He saw you. He is seeing you.
Neteyam didn't know how you managed to smile that hard, or how his heart could beat as hard as it was right now, but Eywa would he put up with it a thousand times more if it meant he would be able to see that look on your face again.
"I see you too, skxawng."
You didn't want to think of all the consequences that this moment would bring, or how tomorrow would be after you woke up and the situation would sink in your head.
You were right. He was your adventure, but you were also his. He needed adventure like he needed air to breathe, and for the first time in ages, it felt like he was finally able to again.
With you.
#avatar twow#avatar the way of water#avatar pandora#avatar#avatar neteyam#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x reader#neteyam#avatar x reader#avatar 2#avatar x y/n#neteyam x you#neteyam oneshot#neteyam sully#jake sully#neytiri#lo'ak sully#kiri sully#tuk sully
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Also don't think anyone has said this (thats a joke) but like, art styles aside:
The animation, expressions, movement, everything of ATSV is IMPECCABLE.
Like insanely, ridiculously, almost mind bogglingly good.
[This is a MEDIUM length post]
The main strength is the Emotion -
In terms of animation, the range of emotions Miguel is capable of expressing is like... crazy good. Gwen's emotions ARE UNSPEAKABLY IMPRESSIVE.
LIKE...ANIMATING HER FUCKING BREATHING???? AND BLINKS!! AS AN EMOTIONAL CUE. HELLO???!!
And the movie hinges on this - almost every scene has an emotional cue that HAS to hit. Whether is Jess's looks of hesitation or Peter B.'s looks of horror.
And this may seem like the most ridiculous comparison ever made but like...
The Bee Movie and Across the Spider-Verse came out FIFTEEN YEARS APART.
THE BEE MOVIE...THIS MONSTRASITY that has plagued humankind - was made less than two decades from THIS:
The fact that we progressed that far as a society (pun intended) in that short of a time will never not baffle me.
I genuinely cannot name any other animated movie that:
Has multiple styles throughout the duration
Can seamlessly change styles without the viewer immediately noticing (like Gwen returning to her universe)
Show two or more animation styles on screen at the same time (and no, Roger Rabbit and Space Jam don't count - that's half live action lol)
Just off the top of my head - ATSV shows up to three styles in one scene: I'm mainly thinking of the scene that shows Hobie (customized - style 1), Peter B. (standard - style 2), and Miguel (a light stylized - style 3).
It can be brought to four if you want to count Miles/Gwen, though their style isn't visible.
I can think of a couple scenes that genuinely blew me away in terms of animation -
One being Rio's 'What-EVER?!' because of the little stance correction and head bob she does, because it's such a natural thing to do. And it adds so much to an already perfect line.
It's something someone would genuinely do IRL without even noticing.
Another I LOVE is Pavitr and Hobie roughhousing.
Like, I can't yell about these five seconds of animation more.
It's SO fluid it looks like Motion-Capture and I left the theatre googling is any Mo-Cap was used in the movie (and from what I can tell - no, it's all original animation).
The way Pavitr falls to the side and bumps them - This not only being a natural reaction to Hobie and his weight, but it also LOOKS natural. So much so you can see it affect Hobie's model too. The movement has kinetic energy on both models -
Which is AMAZING CONSIDERING THEY'RE ANIMATED ON LIKE FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES.
In this shot alone, there's the guitar, vest, AND Hobie, all of which have their own animation rules. Plus the outline on his guitar AND him. And then there PAVI too, who's running at a higher frame rate, touching and interacting with Hobie.
So much so that Hobie's model nearly wraps himself around Pavi. Pavi's hair is moving, Hobie's guitar is moving, there's movement in the background - and it looks GREAT.
PLUS THE CAMERA IS MOVING AND GOSTLING. IT'S NOT A STATIC SHOT. The models and camera are moving AS IF THEY'RE REAL when they're not.
That's - My..I CAN EVEN COMPUTE THAT.
But by far, I think the range of expression used on Miguel is like... Chef's kiss.
(of course I was gonna trick you into reading another post about Miguel. Uh-huh that's what's about to happen)
Like... are you kidding me?
NAH DEADASS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????
The whole later half of the movie hinges on Miguel looking buckwild crazy insane and they NAIL that. And like-
Oh my god what the actual fuck
?????????????????????????? I........ I have nothing to add. After that picture......Nah... LMAOOO
(left: actual photo of Moche watching this happen)
But Anyway chile, This movie is like.. genuinely a modern marvel.
If Marvel gave Tim Gunn 4 billion dollars and five years, whatever live-action rendition he would have made would not even compare to ATSV on any conceivable level - that's how good it is so jot that down.
And like...don't even get me started on Hobie..his design..his representation...girl I will start crying in this Arby's do not play with me
I just felt that needed to be said.
you get what I'm saying yall know what I mean iight coo
Here's a picture of Hobie to cleanse your palette.
Bye.
#spiderman#atsv#spider man#marvel#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#spider punk#spiderpunk#gwen stacy#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara#miguel o hara#pavitr prabhakar#pavitr#pavi#astv#across the spider verse#miles morales#spiderman 2099#spiderman atsv
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Smoker, Luffy and croco boy with a s/o who has the same devil fruit as them and uses it to annoy/prank them constantly.
Crack fic pls
Take care love<3
not me starting to laugh like doffy when I saw this💀💀 ew. anon thank you for allowing me to showcase my endless amount of crack in my mind 💜
warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack
- the amount of times you’ve scared the shit out of this man is kind of sad. I’m assuming poor smoker gets spooked a lot because of your abilities, and sometimes you’re not even trying to scare him 💀
- you could be minding your own business, floating around and flying around the room during a break with a face mask on. Bro walks in and just dies bec the first thing he sees is a detached floating head with a white face
- “WHAT THE FU-?!”
- and when he gets scared he sets off a bunch of “traps” aka stubbing his toe on a chair that was clearly out of the way, and hitting his head on the doorway
- “IT’S ME!” -you
- I mean- what the fuck were you supposed to do? The man just kept falling backwards into things! He thought you were some kind of monster so he just kept running as he tripped over everything in his way 💀
- this is what he thought was happening:
- “SMOKER. IT’S LITERALLY ME STOP RUNNING!”
- “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY GIRLFRIEND?!”
- Tashigi started chasing after him too because she was wondering something abt navy stuff so he kept getting more scared since he couldn’t see what was chasing him😭he just thought you were multiplying 💀
- I’d be scared too if some Smokey person is literally floating after me with a face mask 😂😂😂
- man smoked 56 cigarettes before finally calming down
- “I wish you didn’t have the same devilfruit as me y/n.”
- “OH COME ON I WASNT EVEN TRYING TO SCARE YOU!”
- “IT WORKED!” -him
- “Do you still love me tho?” -you
- “..yeah.”
- on your birthday he blew himself into a balloon and camouflaged into the numerous balloons you got from the crew before you woke up
- when you finally woke up (keep in mind, Luffy was so determined that he woke up early for this prank :0) you stared at the balloons with a smile, the crew was so nice!
- “Hey thanks guys!”
- you walked over to them and took the string of one of them in your hand. It’s amazing how you didn’t hear Luffy giggling like a maniac 😭
- he scooted behind you, making himself lose a bit of air so his blown up face was right behind your head, tapping your shoulder with his long arm
- “BOOO!”
- Nah you smacked the shit out of him, screaming as your fists were covered in haki, ready to punch the absolute soul out of him from fear
- “Luffy?! WHAT THE HELL?!”
- “Ow! Why did you punch me?!”
- “BECAUSE YOU SCARED ME!”
- Poor dude’s face was swollen for the whole day, and you apologized for hitting him after he said sorry for scaring you.
- can you imagine a Luffy balloon in your face? No I don’t mean just his stomach blowing up, I mean his fucking face blown up, and the rest of his body looking all skinny as the string 💀💀 pls I’d cry and shit my pants
- you really can’t beat him in pranks because he always seemed to get you better 😭 but you sure tried
- at night when he was snoring away, you attached yourself to the ceiling, your limbs stretching as your head stretched down to him. (You looked like my sleep demon) “Pssst, Luuuuuuffyyy!”
- “Hm???”
- ok when you’re half asleep you can’t really make out anything, so all the poor guy saw was a fucking demon
- the way he screamed and ran was hilarious, he did not sleep well for days, and clung onto you in bed or whenever he got a chance 🥲
- 100% done with your shit :)
- One time you pretended you were a sandcastle on the beach and waited for him to get closer before making your face pop out at him
- he smacked you with his hook. And… broke your nose 💀
- “…Sorry.”
- “…It’s fine. I’m sorry for trying to scare you.”
- you’re literally struggling to hold in your tears with blood pouring from your nose (BRO WHEN YOUR NOSE GETS SMACKED IT HURTS)
- he felt bad because you’re trying not to cry while sobbing. Poor guy didn’t mean to slap you with haki 💀 nor did he mean to break your nose in half
- he gave you a hug, and let you wear his coat as long as you want since it’s super cozy and fluffy. Also made sandcastles with you while you recovered
- after you felt better, and your nose was finally healed, you both went to the beach again to relax.
- He didn’t like going near the water so he just sat on a chair and watched you find seashells, little sea snails, and other stuff. You brought one back for him, and I swear you’re going to kill the poor guy because of how sweet you are 😭
- he found a mound of sand next to his chair and sighed, you’re trying to prank him again? Didn’t you ever learn?
- “y/n I know that’s you.”
- when there was no response, he grumbled and stood up, poking at the mound with a sigh.
- “Y/n. Please stop.”
- “Huh? Crocodile? Why are you poking that mound of sand?” -you
- his eyes widened as he turned around to see you standing there with a couple sea shells. Wait a damn minute, then what the fuck was this mound of sand doing here?!
- “CROCODILE THOSE ARE SAND SNAKES!”
- The snakes poked their heads out and poor Crocodile picked you up bridal style and started running as they chased you two
- “I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!” -him
- “I’M NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO DO THAT AGAIN!”
- You gotta hand it to him, the first thing he did when he saw those snakes was pick you up and start running as fast as he could 😭 you were glad you had such a caring man :))) because doffy would’ve totally left you to die 💀
a/n - I feel bad for smoker
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece hcs#anime hcs#monkey d. luffy#straw hat luffy#luffy x reader#luffy x y/n#luffy x you#monkey d luffy#luffy headcanons#op luffy#smoker x y/n#white chase smoker#smoker x reader#smoker x you#one piece smoker#crocodile one piece#crocodile x y/n#crocodile x reader#crocodile op#one piece crocodile#smoker one piece#luffy fluff#one piece luffy#luffy#luffy op#crocodile#smoker#smoker op
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omgg write a fluff w tom/ bill where him and the reader are high outta their minds that would lowk be hilarious it could also be a little smutty in the end 👀
HAHAHA YESSS
Stoned
PAIRINGS: Tom 2007 x Female reader
CONTENT: FLUFF + SMUT (just a bit)
SYPNOSIS: Y/N and Tom are high as FUCK, they are friends and she comes over to his house to try this "new" thing he has. She assumes it's some sort of drug or weird guitar solo, they watch movies, cuddle and at the end get a lil bit freaky...
A/N: haven't been high in over a year so don't bash me if i get the feeling wrong, it's from what i remember lmao
WARNINGS: teasing, kissing, drug use (weed)
Me and Tom have been best friends for over 10 years, he has been my rock, supporting me through everything. He never changed, always hanging out with me, showing me off to new friends. He was amazing.
One day he called me and said he had something to show me, something "new" he wanted to try out with me. I immediately knew it was a drug or a weird guitar solo, he is full of surprises I guess.
I got into my car and started to drive to his house, wondering what stupid thing was going to consume my day.
I arrived eventually and greeted Tom, hugging him tightly and walking inside, sitting in his room. He came in with a little baggie of what looked like weed, he handed it to me and I sighed "Tom this is a lot of weed, do you plan to smoke it all tonight?" he chuckled "no of course not, if we like it we can try it again at the party next week" he rummaged through his draws, pulling out a small black bong, decorated with skulls.
"Wowww real edgy" I rolled my eyes playfully, he laughed and slapped my arm playfully "shut up it was on sale, i'm not spending 50 fucking dollars for a small bong."
I stood up and grabbed the grinder that went with is, putting the bud in there and grinding it down, once it was finished I grabbed the bong, packing some of the weed in there.
"Wow you really know how to do this huh?" he smirked, admiring what I did. "Well my brother smokes and it's not like I haven't done it before so.." I shrugged and grabbed the lighter, sparking it and hovering the flame over the bud, sucking in the smoke. (did i just give you guys a tutorial..)
I inhaled it, feeling it burn the back of my throat but in a nice way, a familiar feeling to when I smoked cigarettes. "Fuck..that's some good shit..where did you get it from" I blew the smoke out, starting to get the effects already.
My head a bit woozy, eyes drooping ever so slightly and everything becoming a bit more brighter. I looked back at Tom, finishing the rest of the cone, the way he threw his head back when inhaling was so sexy..the way his lips slightly parted and his eyes slowly shut.
"I got it from Greg, you know, Janes older brother" he looked back at me, blowing out the smoke as well. "Oh.." I said slowly "well it's not dodgy weed I'll tell you that" I giggled.
Everything was a bit slower, my talking, movements. It felt wonderful, like I was as light as a feather.
"Let's have some more, cmon" he scooted closer to me and we had 3 more cones each, it was hitting hard now, things were much more slower, I looked down at my hands and they were slightly out of focus, like I had 4 hands.
I got up from his bed and grabbed his hand, going towards the kitchen and raiding his pantry, grabbing all the snacks I could find and a few cans of soda. I sat down and dropped everything onto the coffee table, laying down next to him, resting my head on his lap, "should we order pizza.." he mumbled, I nodded slowly and grabbed my phone, dialing the store and ordering 2 large pizzas, one cheese and one meat lovers.
"Fuck..we are gonna feast" he chuckled, his eyes super red and droopy, I smiled and picked a movie to watch.
After 45 minutes our pizza FINALLY ARRIVED. I ran to the door and quickly gave the pizza guy the cash, slamming the door and almost tripping trying to get back to the couch, "fuck!" I yelped, Tom just laughed and grabbed one of the boxes, stuffing his face with pizza.
"Mmm...so good" he groaned, I grabbed a slice and ate it, savouring the taste "has pizza ever tasted this good?" I said, it was like they put magic into it, usually pizza was mid but this time it was amazing. Our movie was ending soon, we picked a horror, which was kinda dumb because we were so high.
I sat up and held him tightly at the suspense, screaming and hiding my face into his arm when the jumpscare popped up "jesus" he chuckled "it wasn't that bad" I rolled my eyes and softly shoved him "shut up..wasn't even scary.." I mumbled
By the time we had finished 3 movies everything was DEVOURED. We decided to chill for a bit, have a talk and enjoy each others company. I layed down on the couch and he spooned me from behind, holding me close.
Usually we'd always cuddle, it was never weird to us but this time, the tension was super high. Not even in a bad way, it's like the air was thicker...the way his arms were wrapped around me and his face pressed softly on the top of my head made me feel some kind of way.
I turned around and looked up at him, it's like in that moment, we were the only people alive. His eyes washed over with desire and love, surprising me. "You know, you are so beautiful y/n, you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen" he smiled softly, brushing a hair away from my face.
"Yeah whatever, I'm sure you tell every girl you hook up with that.." I rolled my eyes, secretly enjoying the praise. "No, y/n..I mean it, you are so beautiful" he leaned closer, our lips basically inches away.
"Tom..." my breathing hitched slightly, searching his eyes for deciet but all I saw was sincerity, love and compassion, I smiled softly, blush creeping onto my cheeks.
"I want to kiss you.." he whispered, his breath hot on my lips.
"ok pizza breath.." I giggled and leaned in, kissing him gently. He kissed back, wrapping his hand around to the back of my head and pulling me closer, locking our lips into a passionate embrace. His kisses got more urgent, his erection becoming prominent in his pants, pressing up against my leg.
"See how you make me feel? You drive me crazy" he moaned against my lips, slipping his tongue in my mouth. I reached my hand down and softly palmed his clothed cock, making him groan softly.
His hands snaked down to my waist, then to my ass, squeezing it softly. Then, his hand came back up, slipping under my shirt and grabbing my breasts, rubbing his thumb over my nipple, sending shivers down my spine.
I had grabbed one of his shirts earlier, removing my bra since you weren't able to see much anyway, it was getting a bit hot so I changed my outfit.
"My shirt looks so good on you..might have to fuck you in it" he mumbled, grinning widely.
I chuckled "we'll see about that", I rolled us over, flipping me on top of him, deepening the kiss.
#tom kaulitz#tokiohotel#bill kaulitz#georg listing#gustav schäfer#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz x you#tom kaulitz x y/n#tokio hotel smut#tomkaulitztokiohotel#tom kaulitz smut#2000s#late 2000s#y2k#i love tommy#i love him#cannabis#bud#smoke weed everyday#smoking#tom kaulitz fluff#fluff#smut#female reader#x reader#fem reader
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Addicting Taste ~ Chapter 1 ~
Synopsis: Enishi Yukishiro was on a mission to execute his piece de la resistance. A plan to avenge his beloved sister. Until you showed up, rattling open the icy closed gates of his heart. Will you be a part of his downfall or will you try to save him?
Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x reader oc
Genre: strangers to lovers, sunshine and grumpy, slow burn, a lot of fluff (later chapters), occasional smut, angst
Words: 3k +
A/N: I couldn’t hold back anymore and had to make a fic for Enishi. It won’t exactly follow the Rurouni Kenshin timeline for now but it will later develop into it. This is the first chapter in the series with more chapters coming. It is a reader insert as I couldn’t help but indulge myself in it completely. Powered by Mackenyu’s outstanding portrayal of Enishi’s character in Rurouni Kenshin: The Final, I hereby present you a story ripped from the figments of my mind. I hope you’ll love their story as much as I do. Enjoy lovelies, Paula.
Also thank you @eureka-its-zico for supporting me with this and getting me writing again 🫶
Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Bonus Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 (coming soon)
“Just how stupid are you?”
A loud smack echoed in the room.
“You thought you could just get away with it?”
Another heavy punch collided with his face making him drop to his knees.
“You’re a fool.”
An uppercut dug under his chin throwing him backwards. The force of the blow made blood pool in his mouth and he spat it out through clenched teeth. The man standing tall before him left his face full of cuts and bruises. But that was the least of Enishi’s worries right now.
Many months were spent tracking down the biggest shipment of weapons set to leave Shanghai for Kanagawa. Enishi’s men were supposed to rob the storage by the docks tonight before the ship set sail in the morning. But it turned out to be a harder task than it was intended to be.
The mission encountered several problems and it was nothing short of a total fail. It was also what led to his current position with his hands tied roughly behind his back, on the floor of the most secure precinct in Shanghai.
A few hours ago
“These dumplings are amazing,” you sighed happily while munching on three baozi dumplings at once.
The lady vendor grimaced at your manners. You were practically inhaling the soft dough in your hands like a grizzly bear. Leftover crumbs were decorating the edges of your lips. You couldn’t help but forget all about etiquette when the food literally melted in your mouth.
A little boy was walking by with his mother when he caught sight of the dumpling cart. He stopped to look at the steaming dumplings in awe and adoration. But when he saw the way you were devouring the small pastry his face turned to pure disgust.
You were getting slightly annoyed by his staring, so you shot the little boy a threatening look and he started crying, running off somewhere in the depths of the street. His mother regarded you with a condescending look and followed after her child.
“Can you leave before you scare all my clients away?” said the vendor lady, irritated with the fact that you’ve been hogging her cart for the past half an hour.
“Listen lady. I could buy your whole cart if I wanted to. Just let me enjoy these,” you said with your mouth full.
“I’ll be the one leaving then. You might spoil my dough from raising if I stay here any longer,” she said as she started to put away the steaming buns away and gathered all her tools.
“Wait! You can’t just leave.” But by the time you yelled after her she was already gone. There went your only meal for the day. At least it was a nice filling one to last you some time. You patted your stomach in a comforting manner and sighed, turning to go on your own way.
The crisp air of mid-October made its presence known as a breeze blew against the sleeves of your dress making them flutter. Your attire was nothing short of inappropriate for the lingering cold season. The chilly weather made it harder to do any jobs and you weren’t requested as much either. You never knew where your next meal would be coming from most of the time, so you powered through with anything you could find. Though your money was running out you always made sure to keep some aside for your snack cravings.
The once bustling street turned awfully quiet. It was the norm in this part of the city. Vendors were quickly packed away and activity was slowly coming to a halt in the wake of the coming night. Any normal person in these parts would know that being on the streets when the last flicker of daylight disappears wasn’t safe.
Who would want to be out in the dark with the Shanghai mafia having a full blown war with the commander in chief on the streets until the early hours of dawn?
Clutching the rest of your dumplings closer, you made your way down the narrow pathways circling the outskirts of the city. The place you resided in for the time being was just a street down from the docks. It was a modest room at the top of an abandoned jewelry shop, furnished with a desk and a small wardrobe. It was not the comfiest nor the safest place in the world, but it provided a space to roll your futon for the night.
The buns you bought were all different flavours with all kinds of fillings you haven’t tried before. Just thinking of taste testing all of them made your mouth water.
Whilst getting lost in your pastry daydreams, you were shaken back to earth by persistent yelling. As you were making your way further down to the docks, more agitated shouting ensued. The growing commotion piqued your curiosity. It wouldn’t hurt to take a closer look, right? It was in the way anyway.
Inching closer to the edge of the docks entrance you hid behind an abandoned fishing boat supported by empty crates. Tucking your petite form well enough so you wouldn’t be spotted, you looked over it to see what was going on.
Moving your eyes around you counted about twenty masked men. They were frantically rushing in and out of the storage holding cases filled with… guns?
As more of them came out you realised it wasn’t just guns. Long and short range artillery, fuses and all kinds of artisanal bombs. It was like heaven for pyromaniacs. Whatever these guys were planning was nothing short of mass destruction.
“We’ve secured all the weapons, Master,” a shushed voice spoke in Japanese from your right. He came closer to stand just in front of the boat you were using as a hiding spot. He looked about half a person in height. If a wild gust of wind blew his way he would most likely topple over and become dust.
“Good work,” said a deep voice from the left as he approached too. The way he spoke those simple words was enough to make tremors run down your back.
Trying to get a better view of the owner of the voice a tangled mop of white hair entered your vision.
Damn, this guy was long overdue for a haircut.
Trailing your eyes further down you took in his sturdy physique that was outlined through the clothes he was wearing. You could tell he was trained in some kind of martial arts. No one just had heaps of muscles like those. You could easily draw a map of the world between those wide shoulders… Snap out of it, Miyu.
The loud crash of crates rattling to the floor brought you back to reality. You needed to get out of there.
You couldn’t risk getting caught and brought in by the commander in chief. If he wasn’t alerted yet he sure got wind of things by now. That man definitely has mutant senses.
The last thing you needed was them catching wind of your location. You spent so long staying under the radar and now was not the time to advertise your whereabouts.
I am void. I don’t care. I haven’t seen anything.
I am not getting involved with this.
While repeating the mantra several times in your head in order to calm down, you had to figure out a way to sneak out as smoothly as possible without alerting anybody. Especially the strong muscular white mop of hair who hasn’t moved at all from his spot right in front of you.
After a quick scan of your surroundings you came to two choices: going left, straight through the docks and to your hideout located on just the other side; or going right, having to circle around the whole city to get back. It wasn’t hard to figure out which one was safer. You’d rather go around the whole city as many times as you needed if it meant staying away from whatever these people had planned. You just had to wait for the right time to make your way out.
After a while, the two men blocking your view headed towards the rest of their squad. This was your chance. All you had to do was get set, ready and sprint the hell out of there before someone caught you and made you fish food. If only things would play out like that.
In your rush to escape you missed a teeny tiny key detail. The dark brown fishing cord extending from the boat to the empty crates behind you.
You barely made it two steps before your leg tangled in it and you were falling face first to the hard concrete floor, taking the crates with you. The steaming buns you tried so hard to keep close spilled all over the floor in the process. I’m so fucked.
“What was that?” growled one of the goons.
Mophead turned around swiftly and locked eyes with you. Lifting your own gaze from your uncomfortable spot on the floor, you connected it with his. Eyes akin to predators that lurk in the dead of night pierced yours. They screamed murder. The ‘chop you apart for funsies’ kind of murder.
But something about them caught you off guard. The blue hue outlining his pupils. Something about them though eerie and giving you the eebie jeebies was so familiar. Where have I seen these eyes before?
He seemed to be stuck in his own reverie. A tilt of his head signalled his confusion to your presence. You don’t even know how long you were both stuck soul searching each other’s eyes as the deafening sound of gunfire descended down on the docks.
Breaking your staring contest apart you tried to locate where the firing came from. Then it dawned on you. The commander in chief was here.
Mophead set off in your direction to possibly grab you but he only managed to take a step before bullets lined up a few feet in front of him. With a low grunt, he spared you one last look before retreating back to his gang.
The bullets were flying closer and closer to your spot and the intense smell of gun powder filled your nostrils. This was your cue to exit stage.
You got to your feet, saved what was left of your steamed baozi and made a run for it. A few bullets narrowly grazed the ends of your dress but you quickly made it to the safety of a dark alleyway close by. Checking on your precious dumplings you saw most of them were unharmed and let out a breath of relief.
The pounding of guns suddenly stopped and you peered over to the docks from the corner of the alley. Assessing the situation you observed that half of mophead’s party was shot down by the commander’s force. Some of them managed to flee the scene when the firing started, but the rest were caught and put in restraints together with their leader.
Something felt off. Maybe it was the smug look on the commander’s face as he rounded up the thugs. Or the way most of his force came out from what looked like stationed places at the other end of the docks entrance. It almost seemed like they knew mophead and his crew were going to be here tonight.
No way. Was this a set up?
————————————
Back at the precinct
Enishi was fuming. It all went sideways too quickly for his liking. Someone talked and he was going to make sure they weren’t seeing the light of day. Once he made it out of the shithole he was currently held in.
“I’m going to ask you again. Why were you stealing weapons?” asked the commander. He was getting irritated and it showed in the way the veins on his neck strained. But he could press on as much as he wanted. Enishi wasn’t going to give him shit.
“Either you talk or your good for nothing squad will suffer in your place.”
“I don’t give two flying fucks about them,” spat Enishi.
This only earned him another punch to the stomach. The guards who were holding him let him drop to the floor, more blood dripping on the side of his mouth.
“I guess I’ll have to beat it out of you then,” said the commander, cracking his knuckles.
Bracing for the commander’s punishment, his thoughts kept wandering somewhere else. To the girl who was there tonight, hiding behind the boat. He wasn’t stupid. He sensed someone was eavesdropping.
You weren’t supposed to be there. You were a wild variable in his plan that he couldn’t have predicted. A handful of questions swarmed around in his head, but three of them stood out the most.
Why were you there tonight?
Who were you working for?
And where have I seen you before?
—————————————————————————
Ten armed guards at the front of the building. Another two securing the entrance from the inside. Five more moving around the halls. None on the top floor. Bingo.
Sliding open the glass window on the roof of the precinct you snuck in. You landed down swiftly, arching your heels to keep you steady. Stealth mode switched on in your head as you carefully inspected your surroundings.
Tightening the grip on your twin Remingtons closer, you advanced to the walls opposite to the railing overlooking the entrance. As you rounded the corners you spotted a staircase going down to what looked like a meeting hall.
Raspy shouting and what resembled the sound of slapping was getting louder as you descended. Someone was either receiving a beating or they were just into kinky shit.
You were on the last three steps when a guard passed by. Straightening up, you glued yourself to the wall, becoming one with the shadow. As he got further away you tilted your head towards the glass ceiling and released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
This was a terrible idea. What were you even doing here in the first place? This was not your fight. But your conscience convinced you that you were somehow responsible for the unsuccessful outcome of mophead’s mission.
You weren’t supposed to be there tonight. It was just incidental. Your stupid craving for dumplings made you come out of your extremely comfortable refuge and one thing led to another as you found yourself in the middle of crossfire.
Without thinking too much of your bad choices for the day, you geared up to save mophead. You didn’t know why you were going this far for someone you didn’t know. But you felt needed for once in a while and like you finally had a job to do.
There was something else that bothered you about your encounter. The moment mophead locked eyes with you was scorched into your head. Your brain replayed it over and over again for no specific reason until it drove you crazy. Those eyes bugged you to the world’s end. There was something so addicting and familiar to them. But you couldn’t recall where you’ve seen them before no matter how hard you tried.
You needed to find out who this man is. So, like any normal person looking for answers, you went to ask him. As soon as you busted him out of the most secure precinct in Shanghai.
—————————
In the meeting hall
“This would be so much easier if you just talked,” yelled the commander in chief.
“How about… fuck you. Good talk,” said Enishi with a sick grin.
“You son of a—,” the commander was cut off by the sound of shots being fired outside the meeting hall. Suddenly, everything turned quiet. Everyone’s ears perked up listening for what could follow.
A powerful kick thundered against the golden door to the meeting hall that made it come off its hinges and cave in on itself. The door fell with a loud thud and you stepped over it, the click of your heeled boots bouncing off the echo in the room. All eyes were trained on you.
“Who’s ready to have some fun?” you chirped, enthusiastically twirling the guns in your hands.
“Who are you?,” asked the commander in chief.
“Let’s just say I’m someone you don’t want to mess with,” you said confidently.
“You’re just a stupid girl if you think you can just come in here —“
“This stupid girl just took out most of your guards on duty. It will be her utmost pleasure to take you out too,” you said with a smirk.
Enishi was watching the exchange, his head swimming with confusion for the second time tonight.
Just who exactly were you? And why were you crossing paths again?
You first show up as a hindrance to his plan and now you’re here to probably mess up more than you already have. He was also kind of blaming you for the situation he was in at the moment.
At least you proved useful in distracting the guards and the commander so he could work on getting his hands free of the rope tugging at his wrists.
Looking over at mophead you notice he freed himself. You haven’t worked in a team before so you threw him a look asking for guidance on what to do now. What he saw was more of a weird face that kind of creeped him out but he quickly caught onto what you meant.
He wasn’t sure whether to trust you but he didn’t have the luxury to audition for partners right now. So, sending a silent nod your way, you let the fun begin.
—————————
Mophead lunged for the commander in chief while you preoccupied yourself with the five guards in the room. You easily took out the first one by the couch at the side of the room.
Pointing your gun to the next one you pulled the trigger but nothing happened. You tried the other gun receiving the same response. You were left without bullets. Strapping the guns back to your belt you took a fighting stance. Hand to hand combat it is.
The guard lunged at you and your fist connected with his nose. A loud crack was heard and blood started seeping through his hands as he cradled his nose.
“You bitch—,” you cut him off by hooking your leg to the back of his neck, dragging him to the floor.
“Did your mother not teach you how to speak to a lady?”
He got back up and got ready to throw another snarky remark but you wasted no time in shutting him up with a nearby chair. The wooden chair broke to pieces as it made contact with him. Once he fell to the floor motionless you directed your attention at the other three guards. They started circling you from different sides. Showtime.
You let them come at you. The taller one came first, swinging a bat at your head. Ducking successfully to avoid having your head turned into a baseball, you went for a roundhouse kick to his head. He got projected to the other side from the force you put into the move.
The last two attacked you at the same time. One of them had a knife that managed to get a few cuts through the sleeves of your dress as he kept swinging at you recklessly.
“I just got this one,” you huffed disappointedly as you lifted a slashed piece to check the damage.
Getting annoyed with his incessant flailing about, you caught his hand just as the smaller one came from behind you. Kicking back your right leg into the stomach of the smaller one, you got a chance to take the knife throwing it away. You turned and elbowed the knife wielder in the stomach, directing another knee at his ribcage letting him fall flat to the floor. One more to go.
Standing face to face with your last enemy, you spared mophead a quick look. He was struggling with the commander as he was pushed face down on the big wooden desk. He quickly turned and got him into a deadly chokehold.
You didn’t even notice his outerwear was discarded and he was left only in a tank top. His huge biceps were flexing dangerously as he tightened his hold on the commander’s neck. Sweat was piling like rain drops down his arms and you found yourself drooling. You were suddenly digging the white mop of hair.
You were snapped out of your fantasies by the small garden goblin running towards you with a spiked staff.
Do these guys not have one normal weapon on them? Where do they get all this ridiculous stuff from?
You dodged his attacks until he got tired and his swings turned sloppy. Finding an opening you caught the end of the bat with your right hand and turned your left into an uppercut diving it to his chin. The impact was so hard he flipped back and landed in a star shape on the floor.
Just as you were finished with him, mophead finally squeezed the living daylights out of the commander and let him fall splat to the floor.
Sensing the ruckus, the guards from outside started piling up into the hall. You both walked towards each other until you were back to back. In other circumstances you would’ve loved the way your heavy breaths mingled and the way your shoulders shyly grazed each other. But now was not the time.
“Any chance you have a plan to get us out of here?” asked mophead. Guards were surrounding you from all sides and the only way to escape was fighting your way out.
“I’m guessing breaking some more necks wouldn’t hurt,” you replied hastily.
“You take the ones on the right. I take the ones on the left,” he directed.
With another nod you both got into position and watched as the guards descended upon you.
A storm of fists came your way. You tried blocking them as much as you could but five to one was too much to handle without a weapon. Mophead noticed your struggle and quickly tried to get rid of the three bat swingers in front of him. With a low sweep kick to their ankles they all fell over, hitting each other with the bats they were holding.
You were holding onto three bats with all your might, when two guards sneaked behind you ready to deliver a dangerous blow. Enishi intercepted them before they could carry out their plan, catching their arms mid swing and twisting their arms to an inhuman angle.
“Don’t you know it’s bad manners to hit a lady, especially from behind?” he said as they writhed in pain and scrambled to the floor.
You finally managed to throw the three men backwards, taking to delivering a kick to each of them. By the time you were done with them you were breathing heavily. You were a good fighter but your stamina was always holding you back. Mophead seemed to be more trained in that field though as you saw him cutting through the guards with ease.
Another five guards circled both of you.
“Give me a hand,” you said as you ran towards mophead.
He sensed your idea right away. Latching your hand with his you created enough momentum for him to pull you around in a circle to kick down all of the guards. Once you got both feet back on the ground you noticed the secured hand on your waist. Looking up at him you noticed he’s about a head taller than you. Feeling you tense in his hold he quickly dropped his hand from your waist and trained his gaze on the broken down door.
“We have to go before more come.”
“What about your crew? Are you just going to leave them here?”
“They can get out just fine by themselves,” he growled.
And with that he grabbed your hand and you made a run for it.
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Next
Thank you for reading! Comments, notes and reblogs are always welcome :)
#Addicting Taste#enishi yukishiro#enishi yukishiro x reader#enishi yukishiro x you#rurouni kenshin#enishi yukishiro fanfiction#fluff#sunshine and grumpy#badass mcs#stay tuned
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So I know this post is pretty overdue and a bit superfluous by this point maybe, but since I am now back home and finally have time to sit down and write down my thoughts about the last few days, I thought I'd still do a recap post of my experience of the Dublin shows (and a bit about my trip to Dublin in general). Just for anyone who might be interested or even just for me to remember everything by!
Having said that though, I don’t actually know how to even begin putting into words what this trip meant to me 🥺 I’ve said this before, but after seeing them in June and thinking that was it for the foreseeable future, getting to see them again so soon, twice, and it being the very last two shows of the tour as well, felt like an incredible opportunity and huge gift and I could not be more grateful for it ❤️
Recap of Dublin shows 3 & 4 and some more pics below the cut!
I flew in from Amsterdam on Tuesday morning with a Dutch friend, and we met up with another friend of mine who flew in from London at the same time (my London friend went with me to Tuesday's gig, and my Amsterdam friend to Thursday's gig)
London friend and I then headed to the 3Arena to queue up outside and it was fucking freezing lmao. But we played ‘guess the Arctic Monkeys song from the intro’ and had a chance to catch up so all in all it wasn’t too bad, and it’s always so much fun being surrounded by fellow arctic monkeys fans who love them enough to queue up for hours in the cold <3
Once we were inside, we legged it to the stage and then spent another two hours trying to defend our (pretty good, very central) spots and trying not to think about the fact that we had to pee, as you do. We happened to be standing next to a group of Dutch speaking girls, and it turned out one of them had also met Miles in Amsterdam recently, at the same signing I’d been at! Such a small world. But they were really lovely so the two hours flew past, and then it was Miles time!!!!! 🥰
And my god, he literally blew everyone away, he was just insanely good as always. My friend was not really a Miles fan before the gig, and then while he was playing, she kept going “holy shit minnie he’s so good??” and I was like “TOLD YOU”, so now she’s a big fan as well, which is honestly very satisfying 😌 There were so many amazing moments during his set, but the one that stayed with me most I’ve already talked about in this post. It was honestly just…. very intense and really hard to explain in a non-shippy way? Even my non-shipper friend was like… hmm ok yes, that seems very significant 🤔
But anyway, Miles rocked the house, and then it was only a short wait until the main show. And while most of it is a blur because I just lose my mind when I see my boys play, I did make sure to really absorb some special moments and things I really wanted to remember. Being able to clearly see Alex’s intense, goofy and beautiful facial expressions, his HANDS, the cute little interactions he had with the rest of the band (giggles with Matt and smiley asides with Jamie and Nick), the moment where Alex made grabby hands at the plushie and then laughed some more when he couldn’t have it, Jamie being an absolute rockstar as always, Nick looking like a total snack (my friend has a giant crush on Nick, understandably so), Matt being a literal drum god (I love seeing him play SO much). Just... incredible 🙌🏻💘
I really wasn’t expecting Miles to join them during that show, so when Alex gave him a shoutout I knew it was just that, but my friend didn’t, so she started hitting me like “he’s coming back!” and I was like “no he’s not”, and he wasn’t unfortunately lmao. The Dutch and Belgian girls next to me were extremely disappointed (they were Milex shippers as well, of course), but I know at least one of them was there on Thursday as well so I love that for her. Other memorable moments were Alex singing the “remember when you used to be a rascal” line followed by “do you remember? I remember” after which I yelled at my friend “Miles used to be a rascal!!!” and then later I found out Miles was actually on that side of the stage 😭😭 Even though I didn’t find out about that until later, I definitely noticed that Alex kept gesturing towards that side of the stage (the Star Treatment intermezzo was wild, I was like, “WHO is he pointing at for the dolls like you and me thing??” And then it turned out to be Miles 🫠
Another thing I noticed was that the average age of the crowd was way lower than I’m used to it being, which my friend explained may have something to do with tiktok? Lmao idk, hut the the standing crowd did mostly consist of younger, shorter girls for some reason lol, so there wasn’t as much jumping as I’d have liked there to be. My friend and I just went for it regardless, even if we were some of the only people going crazy. But you just have to, you know what I mean? Anyway, it was such an incredible show and after it ended, we were just on cloud nine, singing Fluorescent Adolescent with everyone on the Luas going back to town, which is always just such a blast. And then we ended up in Temple Bar where there was more live music as well as about 500 other Arctic Monkeys fans, so that was great fun too 💫
The next day, the three of us went to a tattoo shop where I’d booked an appointment and I got my tattoo which I am EXTREMELY happy with. The tattoo artist was a girl from Brazil and when she asked me about the meaning of my tattoo (I’ll post a pic later) I told her it was an Arctic Monkeys song and the just yelled across the shop to a few other artists and it turned out they’d been at the concert too, so we all geeked out about them while I got my tattoo done lmao, so much fun 😂
Then my London friend unfortunately had to fly back home later that day, so my Amsterdam friend and I ended up in the pub again because that’s what we do. It was just a very average pub with two very average men playing amazing folk music, and when we walked in, I was like “huh that guy looks like Zackery Michael, that’s funny.” And then later I was stood next to him at the bar and heard he was American, so I was like hmmm, and decided to just ask him if he was in fact Zackery Michael. He was like “that is me!” lol (thank god, would’ve been embarrassing if it hadn’t been) so we had a little chat about the fact that we were both in town for Arctic Monkeys but in slightly different capacities lol, and he was just super nice and was happy to take a photo with me, and then I let him get back to his conversation with the three extremely pretty girls he was with 😅
Anyways, so then on Thursday after breakfast we bought some souvenirs and I bought some great Arctic Monkeys mini posters and some other stuff at this lovely little comic book/record store which was playing Humbug, the owner of which told us he also went to see Arctic Monkeys on Tuesday and loved them, so that was another amazing chance meeting 💜 And then it was after 12pm so it was time for whiskey, and then the meeting with the fellow TLSP/Arctic Monkeys/Miles Kane fan bartender happened which I posted about here, which was so lovely and also secretly made me want to believe it was a sign for the show that night 🙈
But I still couldn’t let myself hope or believe TOO much, so I just kept telling my friend “they’re not going to do it and that’s okay” and she was like “sure, whatever you say” 😂 We had seated tickets for this gig, so we were unfortunately much further away than I had been on Tuesday. And also I just don’t like being seated at concerts, let alone an Arctic Monkeys one, but to be honest, the seats were pretty good. Miles once again gave his absolute all and converted not just my Dutch friend as well, but also a lot of the people around us who we overheard saying things like “did you know he was this good??” and checking Miles’s Wikipedia page, which was great to see. And from up on the balcony we could clearly see that the people in the crowd were really singing along and having an amazing time during Miles’s set (COTT was extremely emotional, all the lights were so lovely ✨️) and I just felt so proud of him and happy for him that it was such a roaring success 🥹💖
The roaring success continued for Arctic Monkeys of course, although it was really weird to see so many people go mental for Snap Out Of It and Arabella etc. 😅 But yeah, the people do love AM it seems, which is why the first part of the setlist was pretty much the same as it had been on Tuesday. Hello You was amazing though!! And then after There’d Better Be a Mirrorball, I knew that it was 505 time, and Alex did say ‘Let’s hear it for Miles Kane’. But because it was the same thing he’d said before, I was still convinced Miles wouldn’t come on. AND THEN HE DID 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I absolutely lost my shit, not even kidding. I just started screaming and threw my phone at my poor friend being like “FILM IT” which she did, bless her heart, and uhhh, yeah then I cried throughout the whole performance 😭 And then at the end, the lights went out and I saw their shadows (our shadow puppets <3) coming together so I was like did they hug??? And then I only found out later that evening when I checked tumblr that they in fact did hug and then my night was just completely made (lol, I say my night but I mean my life, obviously)
Do I Wanna Know was a total blur after that of course, but I was back for Body Paint which was absolutely incredible as always. And then they did Big Ideas as the encore and uuhhh yeah I sobbed 🙃 It was SO beautiful, and so special hearing it live with the strings, and SO fucking sad. And then once RU Mine? finished and the lights stayed off, I was like aaahhh we’re getting one more!! And then OF COURSE it was Perfect Sense because Alex is a dramatic bastard, and of course I cried some more. It was stunning and extremely emotional 💔
So then my friend and I went to drown my sorrows (and elation about the Milex reunion) in the pub and we actually had a great time with some fellow AM fans and live music again. I swear it was like all of Dublin was just there for Arctic Monkeys. Unfortunately, we were not in the pub where the boys apparently went ugh, but still, it was fun. And yesterday morning I woke up with a killer hangover so I swore I would not drink anymore, but it was raining so much, so we did end up in the pub again where we got talking to some really cool Irish guys who (surprise) also loved Arctic Monkeys, and they insisted on buying us drinks so obviously I couldn’t decline. So we just sat and drank with them until we had to catch our flight, and of course by that time I was tipsy and maudlin and the weather wasn’t helping so I cried all the way to the airport (especially since we passed the arena again) and then I cried some more in the airport like the drama queen I am 🥲
It’s just that I’m so sad it’s over, and so scared and worried about the future of the band, with how much this felt like a goodbye 😔 But I’m just going to assume that it’s just goodbye for now, and that they’ll take a well-deserved break, maybe do their own things for a while, and that in a few years’ time they’ll get back to making music together again. I really do think they have so much fun doing what they do together, and they’re basically like family, and Alex wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he couldn’t make music, so surely they’ll be back eventually. But please, just don’t be too long boys 🥺🙏🏻❤️
All in all, though, what has stayed with me most from this trip is a sense of gratefulness that I was lucky enough to experience all this, my 8th and 9th Arctic Monkeys gigs to date, the last dates of the tour, the Milex reunion (!!!!!!!) and to get to share it with two of my best friends in the world, a whole bunch of arctic monkeys loving strangers who I randomly met, and all of you guys I’ve met on here these past few months. The sense of connection and community I’ve found through this band means so much to me, more than I can say, actually, and I’m so grateful to them for that, in addition to the music they’ve given us. And although the tour is over, I am honestly looking forward to sharing the love we have for them with you all for a long time to come and for now, I am so excited about getting back to writing my silly little Milex stories (and insanely happy they finally gave us that little reunion we hope for, so that I’m still excited and hopeful about their relationship rather than heartbroken and resigned, which is what I probably would’ve been if they hadn’t performed together. So thank you for that, boys 💘)
So yes. Very, VERY long story short: Arctic Monkeys is and always will be my favourite band in the world, they ended the tour on an absolute high (and with Miles!) and this was an experience I will never, ever forget ❤️
#oooff this got a but long sorry#i just had a LOT of thoughts and feelings I needed to get out apparently 🙈#mostly good stuff though!!!#i had an absolutely incredible time 😭❤️#arctic monkeys#miles kane#alex tuner#matt helders#nick o'malley#jamie cook#dublin#the car tour#minnie talks
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Hey!!
I just wanted to tell you I think it’s so cool how you continue to play hockey even if it’s a beer league! I mean I don’t know what good adult leagues there are when you’re older really 😅
I miss playing hockey so much and I always just figured it would be impossible to get taken seriously by judgmental fucks. I love that you make history even though you’re just yourself. I do sort of despise some of the things I’ve heard in the locker room too tbh.
It’s so amazing to see you gear up and get sweaty. It makes me some how feel seen too and I feel like I need to just figure it out lol. I know your kicking ass out there (cus I saw u posted ur stats) lol 💜 hope you have a good rest of your weekend 💜
Thank you! Yea posting about me playing wasn’t something i was really going to do. But everyone here seems to love that content and they continue to ask for it. So I’m going to keep posting it. I don’t think I’m anything special or making history. I’m just a girl that wants to play hockey. That’s it. If I inspire others to play than that’s awesome! Because hockey is amazing and growing the game is important! With that said I’m going to share a bit of a story with you. So bear with me.. I tend to over share 😅
Hockey is something I’ll never give up. For a long time my life centered around it. I’m fortunate enough to live in a town that’s had multiple pro teams and a great hockey community. I used to coach/play for one of the teams before my transition. When I was debating if I was going to transition or not hockey played a part in it for sure. I didn’t want to never play again. But I was scared that people wouldn’t accept me and all that. I felt like majority of the community liked me and enjoyed my coaching. But you never actually know how someone feels about it, ya know.
When I finally made my decision I was coaching full time and I decided to step away from hockey not necessarily for good but until I was comfortable with myself. So I resigned and hung my skates up. Then started my transition. It was a little after two years into my transition when I decided to step on the ice again. I had played some roller with a few friends and messed around stick handling in the house but I never went back to the rink.
(I actually find this hilarious 😂.) I seen they had a skate and shot and decided I’d go to it. Not skating for two years I needed to get my legs back anyway. So I show up to the rink. It’s still all the same people that worked there when I did. I walked up to the counter to pay and my friend Josh was working and said “hi ma’am, here for stick time?.” He had no idea I started to transition. I said “hi, Josh.” He looked at me like I was crazy and asked if he knew me. I gave him the money and said “you might” then walked away. He stopped me to tell me where the women’s locker room is. I smiled and said thank you.
I skated like crap. To be expected tho. After the time was up I headed to the locker’s. Josh stopped me and asked how I knew him. So I told him who I was and it blew his mind 😂. He congratulated me and said he had no idea. He told me he was thinking to himself damn this girl is good(I actually suck lol). He was like who the fuck is she?. He thought I was one of the college players. Our local college and pro team share the rink together. Anyway he was completely blown away. The interaction was great and positive. He was very supportive. After that I started coming once a week and more people realized who I was.
Everyone was extremely supportive and accepting. They use my chosen name and pronouns. Even offered me a coaching position again. I declined for reasons. But the hockey community in general is amazing. I felt comfortable enough to hop in our league. It’s our house A league so all the best players current pros, ex pros and d1-3 guys. It’s extremely competitive. I’m still the only girl ☠️ lol
Now I can’t speak for any other community but at no point in time have I been treated bad or different. I’m given the same respect as everyone else. Do guys talk in the lockers probably but they are nothing but respectful and courteous to me. If you want to get out and play don’t let anyone stop you.
Hockey is for everyone and you deserve to play too! Just go for it! You never know unless you try. Hockey has one of the best lgbtqiia+ communities in all of sports. There are teams like @teamtrans-icehockey where you can play with people like us who understand the difficulties of being trans/nb/queer in sports. I’ve played with teams trans a few times and they are an incredible group of people! I highly recommend checking them out! 
(I took this pic the on the way to the rink that first time back. Don’t mind the filter and how pudgy I am 🫣)
#hockey is for everyone#ice hockey#hockey#hockey girl#trans hockey player#trans hockey#teamtrans-icehockey#transgender#trans#transisbeautiful#mtf hrt#trans pride#ask#ask ask ask#ask me questions#long post
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Its called flirting
Pairings- Boss rafe X female reader
Series- outer banks <3
Warnings- kissing, I don’t even think there’s any swearing in this, go me!!
Summary- You go for a job interview but little do you know your old school ‘friend’ Rafe is now the boss. ;))
“You’ll be fine” my mother smiled at me just as I was leaving the door. “You look great, you have a big convincing smile, you’ll be fine” she nodded squishing my cheek. “Mum! Okay thank you stop squishing me” I laughed pulling myself away and stepping outside. “Good luck!” She blew me a kiss as I walked off to my car. I laughed shaking my head at her. It was nice she was being so supportive of my interview, it was important to me and it was possibly a ticket out of the cut.
My hands were practically shaking as I drove my mums beat up car to figure 8 to the building of my interview. Getting out I straightened my clothes and headed in. There were loads of people in the waiting room, about twenty twenty five? Some from the cut but most were kooks. They stared me down like I was an insect, but I’d felt with that my whole life. I was immune to it. Another thing I noticed was everyone was quite a bit older than me.
They must have had a lot more experience than I had. I sat down and about five minutes later a blonde woman walked out with a smile on her face. It looked slightly off putting as if she was warning everyone off. The receptionist picked up his phone before standing up. “Y/n Y/l/n, he’s ready for you” he voiced. My heart skipped a beat as I picked my back up and shakily walked towards the door. I took a deep breath and pulled it open. It was closed before I realised who was sitting behind the desk.
Rafe Cameron. He was reading papers and hadn’t looked up at me yet. It wasn’t too late to leave. My hand reached for the door and his ears pricked up hearing the door handle. “Hold on- where are you going?” It took him a second but his confused face eventually morphed into a smirk as he realised who I was. “Y/n? It’s been a while huh?” “A long while rafe” I sighed still with my hand on the door. “How long?” He lifted an eyebrow sitting back in his chair. “Well we left school three years ago- so three years” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Sit down, let’s catch up” “why? What’s the point I’m not getting the job”. “Who said that?” Rafe squeezed one eye closed. “There’s history here- it’s a conflict of interest huh” “just sit down” Rafe laughed shaking his head. His hair had been gelled back but it was starting to fall down loosely by his eyes now. He had the top button of his suit undone and pulled open. I sighed and went over to his desk to take a seat. “for someone that lives on the cut you sure have a lot of business experience- and you’re grades are amazing”.
“But you don’t like pogues, you make that very clear” “I always liked you though” he said looking back up from the paper into my eyes. “No you didn’t” I laughed pulling a face at him. “You’re chatting shit, you were always trying to make a joke out of me Rafe”. “It’s called flirting y/n” he told me as he sat back again. My heart dropped and I’m pretty sure my mouth hung open. “W-what?” “Don’t stutter it’s not like you” Rafe warned me with a little smile.
“You never did pick up on it huh- that’s what I told myself anyway” “because you can’t handle rejection?” I smirked finding this conversation slightly more intriguing now. “No” Rafe laughed shaking his head. “Maybe” he changed his mind pretty quickly. “I’d say more on the lines of I’m not used to it” Rafe corrected me. “Mmh, perhaps- what have you been doing these last three years” “well I’ve been doing all that shit on my resume- you’ve clearly calmed down, ward wouldn’t be letting you work for him if you hadn’t”.
Rafe laughed out loud showing his pearly white teeth. “If by calm down you mean stopped doing cocaine every night then yes” “that’s- really good Rafe- well done” I swallowed nodding. “I want the company, the only way ward will give it to me is if I earn it” Rafe rolled his eyes “you’ve always wanted it” “and now? What is it you want?” He questioned with one eye closed. “I don’t want the job because you fancied me back in the day Rafe” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Do you really think my father would let me live if I hired an incompetent girl because she was pretty?” “Probably not..” I trailed off “but would he let you live if you hired a pogue?” “A pogue that know what she’s doing? A pogue that’s going to work ten times harder than any kook I hired because she’s grateful for the position and won’t take it for granted?” Rafe sat forward putting his arms on the table leaning closer to me. “Are you really going to give it to me?” I asked as my heart skipped a beat.
“You want it it’s yours” Rafe nodded sitting back and spinning in his chair. “I do want it” I nodded seriously. “And I won’t take it for granted Rafe” “I know” he nodded becoming quite serious too. Of course that only lasted for about five seconds. “Plus it definitely wouldn’t be a bad thing seeing you at the office everyday- might even be a bit of motivation for me” he bit his lip which made my heart pound against my chest. He did look gorgeous, he always had done but now he was older and more mature and was doing well for himself. My eyes had hearts in them.
Rafe could clearly see I was speechless and he took that opportunity to stand up and open the door to the waiting room. “You can all go home, the jobs been filled” “but that’s illegal you have to interview us and take us into consideration!” One of the men called out from outside. “I could interview you but it would be a waste of both our times because you’re not getting the job, it’s been filled” Rafe said again harshly. Groaning sounds started flooding towards me before a cluster of people leaving.
“So I guess I should be leaving- you’ll email me?” I asked standing up putting my bag on my shoulder. Rafe looked at me before walking slowly towards me he backed me up against the wall because he just kept coming. “Rafe” I breathed out. “Why don’t you give me your number, then we can go from there?” He whispered lowly and flirtatiously. “What are you doing” I breathed looking up at his deep flirty blue eyes. “It’s called flirting y/n” he smiled keeping his eyes on mine. “Why do I like it this time round” I told him as my chest rose up and down.
I was nervous. He made me nervous, I was nervous for the interview and even though I’d gotten the job by some miracle rafe was still making me nervous. “Because you know I’m doing it now” he answered. I dropped my hand to the floor my bag slid off down my arm and I put one hand around his neck pushing him towards me. His hands wrapped round my waist as we both sunk into the kiss. He soon took over making it harder and more passionate. Never. Never did I think I’d be kissing Rafe Cameron. Not that I’d never thought about it before. Every girl in our school had.
“I can’t belive I just done that” I pulled away panicking a bit. “I didn’t hesitate, did I?” “No” I answered him softly looking back into his hypnotising eyes. “Then you know it was revived well” he raised an eyebrow for some reason reassuring me that he was happy I kissed him. “It was unprofessional” “You just spiced up the office pogue, I think you’ll like it here we’ll have lots of fun” “don’t call me a pogue” I put my finger up at him.
Rafes arms flew up in defence. “I didn’t mean it like- -it doesn’t matter how you ment it rafe when you say pogue it’s degrading, I am a pogue and I’m not ashamed of it but don’t you call me it” I warned him not liking the tone he had put on the word. “Okay gorgeous, I’ll use pet names instead, do you like being called princess?” He smirked “you have my number- it’s on my CV, I’ll see you on Monday” “you’ll see me tomorrow” Rafe told me going back round to the side of his desk. “O-okay- even better” I smiled excitedly. He watched me for a second not saying anything.
“You’re cute, I’ll see you tomorrow” he smiled warmly at me. “You’ll text me?” I raised an eyebrow. “If you promise to text back”, I nodded my head at him “I’ll text you back Cameron” I answered making my way towards the door. “Oh and princess” he called as I was half way out the door, my heart skipped a beat as I poked my head round seeing what he wanted. “You won’t be a pogue much longer, so enjoy it while it lasts” he told me with such a neutral face. I just blinked at him before closing the door and leaning back on it.
Just reflecting on what had just happened. I think I liked Rafe Cameron.
Rafe masterlist-
Outer banks masterlist-
All series masterlist-
Masterlist of masterlists-
#fyp#netflix#imagines#writers on tumblr#writing#short storys#outer banks edit#outerbanks cast#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe angst#rafe x oc#rafe fluff#outer banks rafe#rafe fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe x female!mc#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#outer banks imagine
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I've been thinking about actor/actress s/o and gojo reading the most cringy the most vile s/o x reader fanfic idk 🤭
fame with a price — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: so while i try to finish to the gojo angst, have this <3 being sick in exams weeks is the literal worst but oh well
“hello, I am y/n gojo!”
your husband smirks, “‘y/n gojo’ always sounds like music to my ears.”
you elbow him and he winces in pain, but quickly recovers to introduce himself, “I am satoru gojo, the amazing and handsome husband of this gorgeous woman beside me.”
he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close, “we are the hot couple who acted the normal couple: Elien and Arthur from Lover’s Potent!”
the interviewer smiles, “you guys know why you are here, right?”
the both of you nod, and the interviewer chuckles at you pulling gojo’s arm away from you and instead holding his hand and stroking it which makes him smile rather goofily.
“so, gojo,” she starts, “would you mind telling our viewers what we are doing today?”
“which gojo?” your husband smirks, earning a kick to the shin, “I mean! today, we are going to read a ‘x reader’ fanfic about my wife!”
“you are awfully enthusiastic, ‘toru, even more than usual,” you hum.
he stretches and places his hands behind his head, “I am just enthusiastic to rub it in people’s face that I can have you and they can’t.”
you take the phone handed to you by the staff, and clear your throat, “I am going to start; so the first one sound rather promising.”
gojo hums and you elaborate, showing him, “look? even the title is adorable.”
“‘the stars were made for you’, well I can certainly take the stars for you if you want,” gojo boasts but you ignore him.
you, then, read it out loud, “‘as I gazed into her eyes, that sparkled under the moonlight, my heart almost beat out of my chest at the sight of her smile that dazzled me’,” you giggle, “that was actually pretty cute.”
you hear gojo groan and snatch the phone away from you, “I can say things better than that!” he scrolls through the number of options displayed before him, “aha!”
“y/n x alpha!reader, smut, +18 minors don’t interact,” he finishes with a smirk.
you sweat-drop, “honey, how about you skip that one? we’re on TV.”
“absolutely not, do you know how many views will this get us?”
the staff, on the other hand, are tip toeing between whether to keep the following scene or not.
gojo clears his throat and gets ready with his most elegant voice, “she was in front of me bare, looking oh so delectable and ready for me to devour and indulge in her— this is in first person by the way— I sunk my **** into her ***** as my teeth ***** **** **** and my growling only grew stronger when she ***** *** **** ***.”
“satoru, please how are you not ashamed to read this or even bothered?!” you exclaim smacking his shoulder repeatedly.
he tsks, “wife, I am absolutely livid, but! they can dream all they want because I don’t plan on giving up on you.”
“toxic much?”
“giving up on you as in trying my best to make you stay in love with me,” he huffs.
“that will prove to be very useless, I am afraid,” you smile smugly.
gojo panics and sits up, looking at you, “wait why?!”
your smile only turns to a grin as you shrug, “the next fanfic is called ‘lover’s paradise’!”
the man beside you, who was presumed defeated and deflated, takes the phone from your hand and silences your protest with a quick kiss.
“the next fanfic is actually ‘the ****** for y/n’,” he says.
“aren’t we off to a great start, even part of the title is considered not suitable to be shown to the public,” you muse sarcastically and can only watch as the staff laugh their hearts out.
“I am going to start reading! ‘***** *** ***** *** ** *** *** y/n and me *** ***** **** *** **! then when I heard her **** *** ****** ***, my **** th****** so hard that it blew up.’”
you started cackling and soon you fall to the ground, wheezing and tears start to form in the corner of your eyes, “they wrote that?!”
“y/n! that’s not nice! they put all their sussiness in it!” your husband argues, but his words reach no one, even the staff.
the camera man is visibly shaking while the director is rightfully disgusted.
“that’s enough I think,” one of the staff squeaks out and the rest nod in approval while you’re trying to compose yourself with your husband helping you sit on your chair once again.
the interviewer speaks up after a, very, long time, “so that it wraps it up, I believe!”
“aw man, we won’t be reading anything else?” gojo pouts, “I wanted to see the fanfics about me too!”
he, unsurprisingly, is smacked on the shoulder even if it’s weak as you’re still taking breaths in to calm down.
the director gives his own opinion, “yeah no, that’s enough; thank you for your time!”
“rude,” gojo mumbles and intertwines your fingers, “like the director said, that’s enough for today, my loyal followers and fans!”
“see you guys in another episode where we hopefully don’t do this again!”
“this was more boring than I thought,” your husband whines after the the director announces the end of the episode.
you sigh, “it was certainly an experience for me.”
he pokes your shoulder lightly and leans in slightly towards your ear, “how about we try doing some of what we read?”
gojo pauses the episode and looks back at you from the couch, “we were amazing, weren’t we!”
“I can’t believe they left in the last part without telling us,” you grumble while taking out your anger on the dishes you’re washing.
your husband, on the other hand, is more than pleased, “I think we made the best episode ever for them.”
“satoru, half of the episode is censored.”
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the Aubrey problem (or how Omori's writing failed her)
Also available to read on Archive of our Own.
I really like video games. If the fanfiction, theory posts, and occasional essays weren’t enough, here’s me saying it—I really like video games! They’re a conversation between writing, art, music, and human interaction, between the player, the game, and the characters in them. Of course, not all games have all of that, some being only text-based, some being lifeless wastelands, but whatever they end up choosing to work with, they often do something amazing.
Sunny is one of my favorite protagonists in any realm of media—video game, movie, book—and he genuinely changed the way I view the world. Not just him, but the entire world built around him, Headspace and its charming inhabitants and the wondrous sights and music, the creative bosses that leave so much insight, the beautiful overworld that is Faraway and a nostalgic look into what we leave behind, and what we return to.
So that’s why I’m so disappointed I don’t like Aubrey.
This game blew my mind away when I first saw it—my first experience with the game wasn’t even my own playthrough, but sitting through a 20-hour longplay!—and I lost so many hours of sleep twisting and turning and trying to make peace with the grief it left me feeling. And after finishing, I realized that its flaws were plenty, but not enough to drag me out of my enjoyment. But Aubrey? Aubrey didn’t make me feel the way I knew she was supposed to.
That frustrated me, especially as I became a bigger and bigger fan of the game. I had no qualms about liking her archetype, the feminine bully with a tragic backstory, and yet I do with her.
As someone who craves literary analysis and in-depth looks into every media I consume, I just needed to know: what made me dislike Aubrey?
And after over two years of being a fan of the game, I’ve finally figured it out: it’s a good mixture of 1) lack of explanation, 2) rushed self-awareness, and 3) lackluster narrative choices. And I’ve found the words I needed to explain these concepts, so please join me on my messy journey to understanding what went wrong with Aubrey.
preface
If you’re an Aubrey apologist, this essay is not for you. I’ve heard plenty of arguments about why Aubrey was actually in the right, not limited to “Basil deserved it,” and, “Aubrey was hurting too,” so I’d like to begin by stating that Aubrey was a bully very clearly.
Rejecting the notion that she actively harmed others is rejecting a core component of understanding her character. Before we dive into her character and how the writing failed her character arc, I would like us all to be on the same page: she physically, verbally, and socially bullied Basil. It was not Basil’s fault, and it will never be a victim’s fault to get bullied. She is not the victim of her own crime, just like how Sunny is not the victim of Mari’s death, and Basil is not the victim of Mari’s hanging. We, as the player, are to recognize their responsibilities in their actions. The same must be extended to Aubrey.
Some people feel the need to deny this aspect of her character to justify her actions and/or justify liking her. Firstly, the purpose of this essay isn’t to villainize anyone for liking Aubrey. I’m simply analyzing what was attempted with her character and why it didn’t strike a chord with me and so many others. Secondly, as Kel wisely said, “Just because you did something bad, doesn't make you a bad person.” I’m not here to say that Aubrey is a bad person—no, nobody in Omori is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and labeling characters as such is taking away the nuance they possess. And I’m certainly not saying liking a character who did something bad makes you bad, either!
Liking Aubrey is in no way a problem (which makes me a tad bit sad that I need to clarify), and I’ll even go as far as to say kudos to you, but if you bend and twist to stop her from holding any responsibility for her actions, that’s when problems arise. Basil is a fictional character and won’t care if you think it was his fault he was bullied, but for the people around you who may have been in similar positions to him?
And lastly, I want to say that if you cite sexism as the reason people don’t like Aubrey… actually, this is the perfect transition into the analysis.
gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss
Femme bullies are not a new phenomenon. Perhaps it’s the break from the stereotypical sweet feminine girl that makes them so fascinating, using their femininity to not sing to animals or wish for a man, but pull down others and advance their status.
I, for one, adore the femme bully trope. Especially if they’re one who used to be extremely kind and underwent some sort of ‘fall from grace’ that led to a bastardization. But, as for all bullies, if they are left without a proper backstory and motivation, I’m turned off from them. Most humans are not mean just because they can be but rather are products of how they were raised. When these causes are ignored, the trope falls flat, and instead of being a good reconstruction, it’s a flat stereotype.
The best way to analyze this is by comparing Aubrey’s character to good examples of femme bullies in the past. Specifically, I’m picking my favorites: Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Nanami from Revolutionary Girl Utena, and Sophie from The School for Good and Evil. I’m going to do a quick (and a bit sarcastic) overview of their characters in their respective media, but a quick warning for suicide in Asuka’s overview, and animal cruelty in Nanami’s.
Asuka is a pilot for one of the mechas, the Evangelion, and she always thought of herself as better than everyone. Well, of course, she would: she studied hard, worked harder than everyone around her, and she’s just naturally talented. And yet, she’s still always threatened by others and how they can ruin her status. Specifically, for the course of the show, she targets Shinji—he’s this nobody from nowhere who could suddenly pilot an Eva, while she had to fight her whole life to get here! How is that fair? And what has that asshole been through anyway? Did he have to see his mother’s corpse after she committed suicide as a small child? Did he fight for his mother’s love his entire life just for her to kill herself? Does he have to fight for male attention just so he isn’t thrown aside? No, of course not! So how is any of it fair?
Nanami is the sister to the wonderful student body president Touga, and she wants nothing more than his attention. And with her being the youngest of the cast, one cannot be mad at her for not understanding the severity of violence and finality of death, so her anger as a small child with a kitten whom Touga adored is also understandable. One simply cannot be mad at her for drowning it. So, of course, you cannot blame her for wanting to punish the ever-elusive Anthy and Utena, who Touga has become fixated on. What does Anthy or Utena have that Nanami doesn’t? They’re stupid girls, not Touga’s sister. No matter what, Nanami is going to win her brother’s affection (and in her pursuit, ignore how horribly he’s been manipulating her the entire time).
And Sophie is the Witch of Woods Beyond, capable of powerful spells beyond the imagination, from a place that few know of. And she wants nothing more than for her own fairy-tale ending—why do all the princesses around her get princes and castles and beautiful dresses, and she’s doomed to being hideous and alone for the rest of her life? Who decided that for her? She’s beautiful, after all, so she should be a princess! It doesn’t matter who stands in the way of her happily ever after; especially not if it’s Agatha, her lifelong best friend. No matter what, Sophie will not end up like her mother who died all alone, with her husband forgetting her and moving on. Sophie will be loved, no matter who she has to hurt.
What do they all have in common? Firstly, they’re all girls. As stated, femme bullies are different from masc bullies, especially as they reveal aspects of femininity and womanhood in general that many people—see, a male audience—will neglect to face, and overall uncover sexism that's still present in both media and society. Secondly, they’re all bullies, and they targeted someone in particular who they saw as detrimental to their happiness. And thirdly, they all had specific upbringings that conditioned them to have their ‘falls from grace’. What is this third, unidentified thing?
Mommy issues!
(Sorry, I know Nanami technically has a brother complex, but I just wanted to say mommy issues.)
A pattern has been developed with all of these girls. They all start fairly, what one can call, ‘feminine’ or at least, per standard stereotypes. They’re gentle and sweet and shine when needed. And they all have a ‘fall from grace’—a moment, or sequence of moments, that leads them to reject traditional femininity and embrace a more vengeful version of it. And a final moment, where they are faced with their opposite, who represents all that they do not have.
Asuka was sweet and kind and bubbly until her mother killed herself. After that, she dedicated herself to her studies and getting adult male attention through means of the over-sexualization of herself. And then, she began to bully Shinji.
Sophie was sweet and kind and bright until her mother died. After that, she idolized her mother’s false display of femininity and became obsessed with becoming a princess. And then, at the School for Evil, she began to bully Agatha.
Nanami was assumedly sweet—she deviates from this pattern slightly, being built off assumptions of a good past rather than showcases—until she was brought into this family and became obsessed with her brother and was manipulated by him. After that, she became desperate for his attention, fighting any other who could take it. And then, she began to bully Utena (and Anthy.)
While Nanami does deviate from this pattern, they all have clear origins. They were not bullies from the start. As aforementioned, in the face of an adversary, the majority of people do not turn to hurting one another. Something in their pasts, their ‘falls from grace’, was the foundation of their actions, what led them to believe what they were doing was okay. It’s not justification—it's a much-needed explanation. After all, if you do not understand, how can you empathize?
Still, you may fail to see my point. The game has lots of hints of Aubrey’s troubled upbringing. And that’s exactly what the problem is. These girls have clear origins while Aubrey’s is muddled.
Of course, I don’t expect Omori to have spoon-fed me details of her past. You can put the pieces together by walking through her home and seeing bottles laid on the ground. But, even in a game dependent on nuance and having the player put certain things together, it’s better to leave things out directly rather than to work a way around.
To build up a good femme bully, we need a good origin story. What happened to her that made her turn to violence? Why should we care? We know Aubrey probably had a troubled childhood. But the game doesn’t supply enough. It leaves too much to fill in the blanks. I know that Asuka saw her mother’s corpse, I know that Sophie was forced into a misogynistic viewpoint upon her mother’s death, and I know that Nanami was manipulated to hell and back. I know what these girls have been through so I know why they ended up walking their paths.
But the game simply doesn’t reveal enough about Aubrey. Fan speculation is not enough. Canon interpretation should not be confused with fan interpretation—according to the fans, Aubrey’s father is a deadbeat, and her mother is an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. According to the game? Aubrey’s dad is “strict”, and her house is an absolute disaster. The house is one of the biggest clues as to Aubrey’s childhood, and while some may praise this as ‘showing and not telling’, the game never tries to make workarounds for the other characters (which I will dig deeper into later). I can assume what happened in her house but it’s not my job to find ways to empathize with the character; that is the story’s job.
This is the first of Omori’s three sins and we haven’t even scratched the surface.
actions speak more than words, or something like that
I recently saw a post that I thought would make a good intro for this section. It’s an apologist post for Aubrey, discussing how the game did treat her with just enough harshness—that because she’s been beating herself up, because she’s suffered a public breakdown, because it took kindness to help her heal, it’s proof of her regret. There’s some good Basil blaming in there too, with a strange turn saying that she refused to leave Basil’s house because of her willingness to turn over a new leaf. And it ends with a weird claim that she was a “good person all along,” (implying an argument otherwise), but I’m not here to rat on that post.
Despite how frustrated the post made me, I am inclined to agree. It’s black-and-white to state that Aubrey didn’t change at all. If you compare her first Faraway appearance to her final scenes, she’s a completely different person. Which would've been nice if the change didn’t take two scenes.
Much like how I compared Aubrey’s backstory to that of other femme bullies, I’m going to compare Aubrey’s redemption to that of my favorite redemption story in all of media: Riku from Kingdom Hearts (the fact that I’m so in touch with his story may also explain some of my disappointment with Aubrey’s).
Riku starts off his journey on Destiny Islands. He’s always wondered what lies beyond his small home and dreamed of taking a sailboat with his best friends, Sora and Kairi. However, jealousy is an awful thing—Sora and Kairi are close. And it seems that Riku has been hearing about how they’re thinking of leaving him behind. So, he does what any teenager dealing with larger-than-life feelings does: he gives in to the magical Darkness and effectively kills everyone on the islands, separating him, Sora, and Kairi (don’t worry—everyone comes back.)
By the end of the game, he’s come to his senses, but it takes a lot of time. He fights with Sora a lot because he just knows, deep down, that he’s right and Sora is wrong, and if Sora would just listen…but no. Sora keeps abandoning him. So he has to work through that and all the feelings that accompany those abandonment issues, he has to work through the question of “What is even making me want to kill my best friend, anyway?”, and he has to work through “Wait…can I kill my best friend?” So, it takes a lot of time for him to get to his senses.
And then, he goes through hell. Literally and metaphorically. He dedicates himself wholly to making up for what he did. How? Well, he first identifies what he did wrong—he separated from his friends, he gave in to his jealousy, and he submerged his home in Darkness. He apologizes for it directly—although he doesn’t have a chance to speak with Sora right away, he's constantly apologizing for the fact that he gave in to the Darkness, so much that it became a running gag to some fans. He put up distance—he didn’t feel like he was owed forgiveness right away (or at all, but that’s a different matter) and didn’t stick at Sora’s side to wait for his best friend to forgive him. He worked hard to show that he’s changed—it would be a much longer essay if I attempted to explain the lengths he went through, but it’s not limited to allowing himself to be possessed, going to literal Hell, forcing himself into isolation, and enduring multiple handicapping injuries.
Long story short? He really, really tries to make it up to Sora. And when he and Sora finally talk (it took three years in real life, took perhaps a year in the game), Sora doesn’t even hesitate to forgive his friend…though it may be in part to Sora just being Sora. Nevertheless, Riku had earned that forgiveness.
And then, after that, Riku continues to give himself hell! He never stops to sweep what he did under the rug. It’s a part of him, after all, an ugly past but his past nonetheless. It does not define him but it cannot be forgotten, otherwise, he hasn't learned anything at all.
Deep breath. We talked a lot about Kingdom Hearts in an Omori essay. But it’s important to understand the sheer depth put into his redemption: identification, distance, and work.
What’s most frustrating about Aubrey’s arc is that fragments of this good writing exist, but that’s what they are: fragments. I would like it to be stated for the record that everything I explained for Riku’s arc wasn’t me creating speculation based on what the games said. It’s what the games literally came out and said. Aubrey however…
Identification—she apologizes to Sunny, Kel, and Hero by saying “I’m sorry, guys… I’ve been acting like such a jerk.” While I may give her grief for the usage of the word ‘jerk’ when perhaps a stronger, more evocative term would’ve done a better job, it’s certainly better than what she said in front of Basil’s door: "I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.” Completely separating herself from the issue at hand.
Distance—none. She's immediately reintroduced to her old friend group, at a rate that ended up giving me whiplash the first time around. The question, “What about the Hooligans?” is never brought up, and things are back to how they always were, with no problems at all.
Work—Aubrey stayed the night at Basil’s house, wanting to make sure he was safe. To which, if you end up getting the neutral ending, you get the most insightful message of Aubrey’s arc (which is technically non-canon): “I'm so sorry, Basil. Please forgive me…” If getting the good or bad ending, her staying the night meant literally nothing, as Sunny’s fight took the reins.
These are fragments of a character arc. These are fragments of good characterization. While I praise Omori for how often it appears realistic, this kind of exponential growth simply isn’t. In what world, does someone who’s been bullying someone for four years, take less than two days to realize she’s been a bully and decide to change the entire course of her life?
While I could rat on Aubrey, this isn’t her problem. This is the game misreading what makes a good redemption. Redemption means work. It means effort. It is not a character simply changing their ways. Those characters feel cheap and empty—there’s a reason, after all, why the majority of fans always characterize Aubrey as the mean girl she’s shown to be when she first appeared in fan works. It’s because the ‘new’ Aubrey, the Aubrey buried under layers of hurt, hasn’t earned the right to exist.
The Riku I love in Kingdom Hearts III has earned the right to be angsty and gay and happy and his new self because he’s put in 17 years' worth of effort to become that person. It’s beautiful, it’s inspiring, it’s hopeful—you can make a mistake and go past it. It doesn’t define you. You can be forgiven. You can have hurt and have been hurt and still be worthy of love and loving.
The Aubrey at the end of Omori has not earned the right to be there, simply put. She’s the product of lazy, or ignorant writing, and it feels harsh to type out, but there’s no other way to describe it. Her self-awareness happened too quickly. She passes by Sunny’s house every day, sees Kel playing basketball every day, and could freely visit Mari’s grave whenever she wants—there were four years for her to change who she was. If Kel wasn’t able to give up his toxic positivity until the bitter end of the neutral ending, it’s quite hard to believe that a few hours of just talking made her change her ways. Especially considering that the Hooligans were characterized as her new, accepting friends, who love her and hear her out.
And again, the best fragment of an arc that could’ve been appears in the neutral ending! While it was not directly Aubrey’s actions that led Basil to take his life, it’s very impactful to see her begin to blame herself. It’s not right for her to blame herself—but that’s perhaps the only scene in the entire game where I really sympathized with her. It’s the only scene in the entire game where I truly saw that she wanted to change.
A quick note I wanted to pull out before finishing: the inclusion of the Hooligans. They were, again, fragments of an amazing arc. While they could’ve been a good way to show how kind Aubrey still is, they are thrown aside and mainly included in scenes where Aubrey is still being a bully. It’s in content outside of the game (see: Aubrey birthday comic) that they contrast Aubrey’s harsh exterior and show her sweet insides. But no, they’re underdeveloped and unutilized to make Aubrey’s arc feel doable.
There seems to be a very clear culprit to both this and the femme bully problem, and a solution that should’ve been considered more deeply.
rome wasn’t built in a day
There’s a loud rumor in the Omori fandom that Omori was originally supposed to take place over ten days rather than three days. While I’m not sure how much merit this rumor has, the fact that it exists leads me to my ultimate point:
Omori should’ve been longer.
Specifically, Omori should’ve taken place over a longer period.
EDIT: Before we continue, I just had an excellent conversation with a friend ( /ᐠ ._. ᐟ\ﾉ ). This solution only applies to if one is unwilling to change Aubrey's core character; essentially, the extent of her bullying. By making her someone who goes out of her way to torment Basil, significant screen time is going to be needed to properly unpack all that's been given. Making the base game ten days is only my opinion of the best choice, but there are other ways to solve this. However, the best course of action would be to change the extent of Aubrey's bullying on Basil—in other words, changing how Aubrey's anger presents itself.
For example, she would simply hold a grudge over what she believed was Basil destroying the photos, being extremely passive aggressive towards him. It would make a reconciliation between her and Basil, much, much more doable as well, perhaps him seeking her out in the first place in a peaceful manner to look for the photos. The lake scene could be an emotional explosion for her, perhaps finding out Basil just gave the photo album to Sunny, who is literally about to leave, and then pushes him into the lake. Then, the reflection she has next would fit what has tonally been established, seeming doable. She had, after all, been on good terms with Basil, even if for a little while.
By ‘lackluster narrative choices’, I am referring literally to the belief that Omori should not have been a game that took place in three days. I’m not here to argue about the game's mechanics—should Headspace have been that long? What is the point of a world created to serve as escapism, which should be fleeting moments of happiness, when it ends up being longer than the real world?—as much as I’m here to argue that this is a flaw of the game’s writing as opposed to a game design standpoint.
I’m not going to pretend I know how to make a video game. I’m enthusiastic about them, I follow their development and creation, and I strive to learn as much as I can about the ones that are dear to me, but I’m not going to pretend I know the first thing about making a video game. Omori’s development is one of the most infamous parts of its legacy, and the notion of extending the game would’ve only been another strain on the extended period between its announcement and its final release.
But, I know how to tell a story. Or, at the very least, I know what makes a good story. Now, the three days format of the game serves its other protagonists amazingly.
Sunny, whose arc mainly develops through the interfering ideas established in the real world and the ones previously established in Headspace, doesn’t need an extended time in the real world. His story takes place in his dreams, and the foundations of Headspace are already extremely insecure, based on the idea of covering up the truth. But when faced with a separate truth in reality, despite only a brief exposure, the lies created to protect Headspace fall apart. So Sunny’s arc does not depend on how long he spent in the real world.
Kel and Hero, on the other hand, have a very small arc. They are not flat and are very much dynamic when you compare how they started and how they ended up. However, the majority of their arc had taken place off-screen. The majority of their characterization does not occur through direct interaction with Sunny—we don’t learn about Hero’s depression because of him having a breakdown, but rather Kel discussing it. And in that same scene, we learn about Kel’s toxic positivity and the strain it’s taking on him, rather than through the game. This recontextualization is perfect for Kel and Hero. The change that occurred after Mari’s death is not easily seen by Sunny, and through it being slowly revealed instead, we learn the nature of their changes. Nonetheless, their changes occurred after Mari’s death and another change will occur most likely after the revelation of the truth—either way, their character arcs do not depend on the length of the three days. No amount of time would’ve changed them without Sunny revealing the truth (and as aforementioned, Sunny’s time was well spent in Headspace).
And finally, Basil. He's in the same boat as Kel and Hero, having an arc that occurs entirely off-screen. The difference is, however, the amount of emphasis the game puts on what happened to him as opposed to a few cutscenes with the brothers (though it is understandable, given his role as the game’s deuteragonist). His arc is a downward spiral, from an already unstable boy to an insecure mess who becomes obsessed with the sole idea of keeping his best friend safe. While it’s a progression of who he used to be, it’s development nonetheless, and it also happens off-screen. Given Basil’s fragile mindset, furthermore, the appearance of Sunny suddenly was enough to throw him off, given he was already planning on taking his own life. His rapid spiral into an even worse mess which leads to the fight between him and Sunny, therefore, is understandable. And, similarly to Kel and Hero, his real change will only occur after Sunny reveals the truth. Basil’s character development does not at all depend on how long the game would be.
The simple fact is that the other characters do not go through a drastic change on the days that Sunny comes out, and Sunny’s change was fueled by the existence of Headspace, not by the real world. The game taking place in three days does not affect the others. That is good storytelling. Using the game’s time frame to properly convey their arcs having occurred off-screen.
Aubrey, however, is not subject to that same praise. Her arc occurs on screen—while she descended to becoming a bully after Mari’s death, the arc we the viewer are supposed to acknowledge is her redemption. And three days just isn’t enough time.
The last two problems I covered, a lack of detailed backstory and a general lack of redeeming actions, lie in the same problem: the game went past those scenes far too quickly, as though Aubrey’s redemption is not essential to understanding her. It’s as though the game is trying to place importance on relationships and the joys of rekindling, rather than having to actually rekindle a relationship, having to put in the work. If the game had been slightly longer, Aubrey’s story could’ve been dealt with in a far more effective manner.
I am not Omocat, nor am I a part of the development team. I do not have the ideal solution for what could’ve been. I do, however, have a few ideas that I’d like you, my audience, to consider. How much do you think the game would’ve changed if it was ten days instead of three?
As already explained, Sunny, Kel, Hero, and Basil would not have had any significant difference if the game took place longer. Perhaps, there would’ve been a more natural awkwardness present that accompanies talking to someone for the first time in four years, but aside from that, the events of the game would’ve just taken longer.
Aubrey, however, would’ve had some actual thinking time. Her fight in the church would be her turning point, and her then isolation would feel like she had time to think things over. For a few days, Aubrey would have to be absent, and given the impression she left on the players, this absence would be heavily felt. It would be her return so much more effective, especially if she returns as someone who is unsteady due to their actions.
For the next few days, leading up to Aubrey deciding to stay the night at Basil’s house, we have the chance to know and forgive her better—perhaps, similar to Kel talking to Sunny about Hero’s depression, Aubrey can explain what it was like growing up in her household. Not as a defense, but as an explanation. She would do things with the rest of the group, and she would at a more natural rate, be integrated once again. And not just anything! She would actively help them with whatever the ten days would have to offer, and it would show that she is hurting over her actions.
And, finally, when she would decide to stay at Basil’s house, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to have the cast together for one last moment, but it would feel like she’s trying to bridge the gap of all the hurt she created. When she would go to Basil’s door, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to convince us to forget about her actions, but it would feel like she’s reflected and attempted a new leaf. And hopefully, the game would offer a more heartfelt apology, given more context and material to work with.
Four years of bullying can’t go away in ten days. But that’s not what the game was trying to argue in the first place—it wasn’t fully erasing Aubrey’s action, but trying to create the stepping stone for a way back. But the three days poorly argued her case, with a rushed and lacking version of redemption, and it made her ‘final character’ feel poor.
At the very least, ten days would have allowed the audience to empathize and begin to understand her. And, more importantly, it would’ve made sense that she understood the weight of her actions. And the Aubrey she became, whoever that girl would be?
She would’ve been so, so loved.
a little love in our lives
This has been on my mind for an awful lot of time. Sunny, as aforementioned, is one of my favorite characters of all time (if not my favorite), but the entire cast has a spot in my heart and is very dear to me. That includes Aubrey, but she benefits from association, which hurts me—I hate when girls in media are defined by their relationships with other guys. I wanted to get to the heart of why I couldn’t get her to stand on her own.
To summarize: Aubrey’s character was criminally mismanaged. Instead of it being a hopeful story of redemption, someone finally breaking the cycle of abuse and breaking free of her toxic household, seeking forgiveness by taking an active part in Basil’s healing, she is let off too quickly and makes all her further scenes feel twice as empty. The ideal solution would have been to have the game take place over a larger period, rather than a rushed three days, to allow the audience to empathize and relate to her.
Aubrey apologists truly astound me. I find so many flaws in her writing, and yet other people manage to see those flaws as perfections. I see people making very absurd, ableist arguments, and it makes me question the humanity of many fans, but I’ve always been intrigued by how many different perspectives there are surrounding her. I’ve seen some who relate to her because they were bullies or because they’ve been abandoned by others; so some valid reasons, and others very concerning. But it’s telling how our own experiences make us relate to different characters and help us understand why someone stands in the places they do.
…do you see what I did there? I started talking about relating backgrounds and how that benefits our understanding and— yeah, I suppose you understand, if you got this far (almost 6k words, you should be proud of yourself). If you’re still unfazed and believe that Aubrey’s writing was splendid, all the power to your fannish behaviors. But if I’ve opened your eyes a bit as to the flaws in her writing or if I’ve been able to explain your dislike of her, then I’m glad. It’s important to discuss things that didn’t stick the way they were meant to so that we can do better and we can learn.
Omori’s writing failed Aubrey. Some fans took that as a challenge. I’ve said before that canon interpretation should be separate from fanon interpretation, but I’d have to be heartless (Kingdom Hearts pun intended) to say that many fan’s interpretations didn’t get me to feel with her. I think Aubrey could’ve been brilliant, and while Omori didn’t fully capture that, a lot of fans did. So to everyone who makes art, whether it’s a drawing, a written work, a video, a song, an edit, or whatever, thank you for sharing it. Thank you for telling your stories.
I feel like writing these analysis pieces without connecting them to our own life experiences is pointless. So, to everyone else, please tell your stories. Tell your stories of redemption and love and forgiveness, because that’s what Aubrey’s story was meant to be about, and that’s what we all need in this world. Tell your stories, no matter what they are, because that is what ties us all together. We are made of stories and we return to them. We learn from them and we become better people. We become kinder—and we could all use a little more kindness in the world.
Thanks for reading!
#omori#omori meta#omori analysis#aubrey omori#media analysis#meta essay#literary analysis is my special interest#andrew's essays
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Home with You ~ Astarion Smut/ F!reader
Summary: Basically, just the grave scene inspired by In A Week by Hozier.
Warnings: Fingering, oral (f receiving), PiV, mild fluff.
*I haven't written smut in probably three years so bear with me being rusty lol.*
Also the biggest of thank you's goes to celestialoutsider for beta reading and editing for me <3
~
The moonbeams that danced between the branches illuminated the cold stone in front of Astarion and (Y/n). His name etched into the stone was still covered in a thin layer of dirt, but for the first time his grave was adorned with a single flower. A gentle, loving hand had placed it there. So many emotions swirled through the pale elf’s mind at the gesture. The one that stuck out to him the most was the one that sent warmth through his chest, if he thought about it for more than a second, he might have recognized it as a mix of love and gratitude.
“I have a gift for you” the voice next to him drew his gaze to her face. We watched with curiosity as she untied the small bag of holding from her side and rummaged inside. “Ah there it is!” she beamed as her fingers finally grazed what she was looking for. The dark red liquid splashed against the glass. Astarion cracked a smile and gingerly took the bottle from his lover.
“This looks expensive,” He commented, turning the bottle over in his hands. The gold lettering shimmered in the moonlight, and the wine inside looked deep and rich.
“It was,” (Y/n) bit back a smile, “But I thought it was worth it. I was saving it for when we finally got these worms out of our heads,” she took the bottle from him and popped it open. The sweet smell went straight to his taste buds, saliva gathering in his mouth. It had been so long without a good wine.
“This however feels like a much better occasion to celebrate,” She smiled at him, and held the bottle out to him. With a bowed thank you he took a sip. Gods it would have paired so nicely with a creamy cheese or tender steak. It was in fact rich, and sweet, it was a wonderful change from the vinegar they had at the grove party.
“That really must have cost a fortune,” he smiled and took another sip before passing it off to her.
“I’d argue that your taste is the reason it was so expensive,” she smirked and took a sip. Astarion laid a hand on his chest in mock offense.
“I can’t say you’re wrong, but it still hurts,” his grin was spreading wider.
The pair sat and drank over half of the bottle before the giggling started. It was a wonderful change of pace from the fighting for their lives. Here, under the moon, wrapped in the warmth of a good wine it was just the two of them, safe and happy. The emotions swirled in his head now, everything else was clouded by the woman sitting next to him giggling over a dumb joke that he couldn’t bother to remember. It was loud and unbothered, followed by a sush and giggles from him. The smile on his face never faltered. His ruby eyes took in (Y/n) fully, how she threw her head back when she laughed, how her eyes softened and pupils blew wide at the sight of him, how the wine had flushed her cheeks, how the sight of him made his undead heart leap.
“You’re perfect.” the words had slipped out. (Y/n) pursed her lips, her cheeks flushing more.
“Well, you’re amazing,” she smiled at him, scooting closer to him till their knees touched. His nails scraped against the side of her scalp gently as he pushed her hair away from her face. Her own eyes took him in now. His face softened as she scanned his features.
“Thank you,” his voice was hushed so that only she could hear the words spilling from wine touched lips, “for everything. You’ve given me a second chance at life, and I want to live it with you at my side.”
She placed her hand over the one holding her head, the other finding its way onto his chest, right over his heart. “I’m here with you, for as long as you want me,” she spoke tenderly.
He captured her lips in a gentle kiss in response. They moved as one, perfectly in tandem. He slid his body over hers, laying them down onto the damp grass of the cemetery. She sighed into his mouth as his leg slid up to spread her legs in order to rest between them. (Y/n)’s hands slid into his silver curls tugging him impossibly closer, earning her own groan from the man above her. He leaned his weight onto one elbow and used the other to cradle her face in his hand. He held her so gently, like she would spook and run away from him still. After what felt like forever they parted for air, moving back just far enough to look each other in the eyes. Their chests heaved, eyes were blown wide, lips wet and swollen, and smiles plastered wide across their faces.
(Y/n) tugged his tunic off of him, running her hands down his torso after he was free from the garment. Her fingers were so warm against his cold skin. They ignited a fire in his belly as they softly roamed the expanse of his chest down his belly and toyed with the band of his pants. He pressed his lips to hers again as her hands continued to explore his body. Her lips danced across his throat and up the edge of his ear, biting gently causing a moan to fall from him.
“What a tease,” he said through a grin.
“I learned from the best,” she breathed with a matching wide smile. Her fingertips ran up his sides and over his shoulders using the position of her arms to tug him down to her. His desire for her pressed down onto her clothed heat, earning a small sound from them both. Their restraint was chipping away at every roll of their hips against each other. Astarion slid his own hand up (Y/n)’s shirt, he pulled away from her embrace to remove it from her body.
“Look at you,” he let his eyes rake over her frame hungirly. It was his turn to explore her body. He pressed soft kisses to the sides of her jaw and down her neck, sucking over her pulse and nipping at the faded spot he feeds from, and she moaned in response. Gods how he wanted to drink from her, to feel her blood coursing through his veins, becoming one in a different way for a little while.
Another time he thought to himself, dragging his lips across her collar bones and down the valley of her breasts. His fingers were ice against her perked nipples. A gasp left her lips as her chest arched into his touch. Astarion smirked at how responsive she was to him already. His mouth found her other nipple causing another moan to tumble out of her mouth. He took his time toying with each breast before kissing his way down to her waistband. His lips followed behind the garment kissing down her right leg and crawled back up her left leg after discarding it into the dirt.
“You’re so beautiful my love,” his voice was low and Desperate. His eyes looked so dark and hungry, the sight above her made (Y/n) shudder with anticipation. His fingers traced the tops of her thighs, teasing. “You’ll let me taste you, won't you?” she couldn’t tell if he was begging or wanting her to beg but she nodded her head furiously either way.
“Please Star,” her voice was soft and dripping with a need that made his cock impossibly harder in his pants. “Please touch me, I need to feel you,” she begged. How could he say no to such a pretty thing? He found his way down to meet her sex. The sight of her dripping for him had him licking his lips before spreading her and licking a wide strip from her entrance to her clit. (Y/n) threw her head back and loosed a loud, lewd moan. The feeling of his mouth on her finally aiding in the burning desire that had been dancing in her belly since he laid her in the grass. The sounds she was making as Astarion circled her clit were music to his pointy ears. The way she was gripping his hair and grinding onto his tongue made his head swim.
Astarion pulled away from her heat for a moment, earning him a whine. He licked her essence from his lips and leaned against her left leg, using his middle finger to toy with her entrance. Her moans filled the air again as she ground against him. “Come on sweet thing, I know you can use that pretty voice to ask” he teased. She whined in response but managed to find her voice.
“Please make me feel good. Want it so bad,” her hips rolled as his fingers brushed her clit. “I can take it Star, please,” her voice cracked slightly. He bit his lip at her honeyed words, his fang slightly dug into the skin. His own need was growing unbearable at this point, and maybe he felt a little guilty at ripping her from the edge. He slid his finger into her. Thank yous tumbled out of her lips, more sweet music as he added another. His dexterity quickly brought her back up to that peak. Astarion growled and brought his lips back to her clit. With a loud moan she snapped, white hot pleasure surged through her body as she gushed on his fingers and mouth.
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, working her through the pleasure. He gently ran his hands up and down her thighs, coaxing her back to him. She looked so beautiful fucked out below him. Her hair splayed messily around her like a halo, her cheeks ever flushed, and her lips parted as her chest rose and fell with deep breaths.
“Can you give me another sweet girl?” he asked tenderly. She simply nodded at him with hooded eyes and croaked a “Yes.” Her throat was raw from the moans that had ripped through it. He moaned at the feeling of his cock finally being let free of his pants. (Y/n) licked her lips at the sight of him kneeled over her. He gave himself a few pumps before lining himself up with her entrance. He let his head and eyes roll back and he sunk into her, relishing in how warm and wet she was for him.
“Is this all for me darling?” he asked, pulling his hips back.
“It’s all for you, always” Her mewls fed his ego. He held the backs of her knees holding her legs open as he thrust back into her. The snap of his hips had her crying out in pleasure and rolling her head to the side. Throwing all caution to the wind he didn’t hold back his moans, letting her know just how much he was enjoying himself.
She was surrounding him, her cunt, her smell, her touch as her hands gripped his shoulders. He felt her flutter around him. The way she was squeezing him was enough to make his thrusts falter. He released her legs and wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her into him, the last bit of self-control he had gone. He laid his head on her shoulder breathing in her scent. “You’re gonna make me cum,” his voice was no more than a whimper.
“Please, with me” was all she managed to let slip before he gave her a particularly deep thrust, spilling ropes of his cum in her. Her own orgasm hit her right after, causing her walls to flutter and her legs to squeeze his hips. They lay there tangled together catching their breaths for a minute before he pulled out and laid on the soft grass next to (Y/n). She turned onto her side and brushed a curl that had fallen out of his face. She gave him a tired smile. He found her hand and pressed a kiss onto her palm. This felt right to him, laying with her, loving her. He decided that he could die there again and die happy. He didn’t care if they found them decomposing under the wisteria tree, he was with her. He was where he belonged. He was home.
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(bruhstation) hey neil! thank you very much for supporting fortezza bigg city so far :] I really appreciate the thought you've put into analyzing bits of my silly little AU, and I've also gained a huge appreciation for your own works as well. it's so clear you've put a lot of thought and research into your AU and it really blew my mind because everything is so meticulously thought out!!! and I'm looking forward to more!!! here's a quick sketch of your gal zaffre! once again thanks :3 (also you're inspiring me to make my own z-stacks oc! haha)
OHHH MY GOD LOOK AT HER MY BABY GIRL MY SWEET CHEESE SHE LOOKS AMAZING AHHH YOUR ART IS SO GOOD I LOVE YOUR FORM AND VOLUME AND HOW YOU DO YOUR LINE WEIGHT WITH THE OPACITY AND LINE DYNAMICS your handle on anatomy and rendering is really interesting to me, reading you work in Fire Alpaca with a mouse is mind boggling to me, i remember when I was doing the same years and years ago and the skill you show is really fascinating and i am jealous, the way your art is put together is scratching my brain. i have been doing art studies of it and trying to dissect it, it'd have such a interesting feel for animation, you have a wonderful style for breaking down into a limited animation style with a emphasis on dynamics with animation in a 8s, 6s, and 4s with 2s detailing and a hard tweening style [<- just professional animator things lol] The way you render shadow and lighting is also ough. This Zaffre is genuinely so wonderful, new desk top background moments. I love her gesture and expression here, it really captures her as a character! Also the way you draw hands, augh, just augh I wish.
You, my friend, are a fabulous illustrator!
And oh my god your AU is scratching my brain in ways I didn't think possible! I know so little yet there is so much there. When I genuinely say that it is affecting me as much as if not more that @askthefamous8 that is the highest compliment I can muster [that AU has been one of my special interests since 2015,]. I am legit making a post it note wall over FBC just like ATF8 had when I was in middle/high school
You have the most loyal human AU fan on your team now, I genuinely smile thinking about Fortezza Bigg City all day long, my friends and partner are getting annoyed to death from me ranting. sorry dear if you are reading this: I know you hate tugs
Also thank you! I really love doing in depth research, its the autism at work. I am a proud vehicle autistic. I've said it before but working on a ship for a summer just to know the mechanics of how actual sailing works is probably the most unhinged thing I can say I've done for accuracy sake. Loved my Captain and fellow crew, very sad I got sick and had to leave. Honestly would love to be a sailor if my heath wasn't bungled up and I wasn't like $200k of debt in animation college.
My humanoid vehicle AU's are partially based on my sadly never going to be picked up pitch bible for a science fiction based historical vehicle show [my fatal flaw is niche interests] And it literally makes my day to sit down and work on the most expansive and historically researched BS on earth, my AU is both a lovely love letter to TUGS as the show it is and a Love Letter to what TUGS wanted to be! At the end of the day TUGS wanted to be it's days Steven Universe or MASH [something I am gonna elaborate in another format later] but unfortunately it just didn't have the right ingredients. Its the Same as the TUGS musical I'm working on, it's a love letter to what TUGS both is and was supposed to be along with being a love letter to the characters themselves
Also:
Join the Z-Stacks OC League, we have cool hats and crime
#the fire burns#bruh station#others art#asks#this is tugs#z stacks#zaffre#fortezza bigg city#I am a little unhinged i am sorry
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It was announced yesterday that LittleBigPlanet 3’s game servers would be closing indefinitely, putting an end to the remaining online support the original LBP trilogy still had. I’ve managed to collect my thoughts and pay my tributes to the series before I part ways with it.
This game series means the world to me, and I am extremely proud and honored to have been apart of it’s community. I started playing the games in 2010 with the demo for LittleBigPlanet on PS3 and… I wasn’t impressed. I got stuck before I even played the game! I had a second controller turned on somewhere so 6 y/o me was presented with the “Select Profile” screen.
Having no clue why none of the buttons on my controller were working, I think I just turned it off and didn’t play it for months. Idk what got me to play it again, but I’m glad I did because I fell in LOVE with the game. Everything about how it controlled just… clicked with me. I thought it was genius, the sheer amount of expressiveness you could display; tilting the controller to move your head or your hips, using the D-Pad to change your facial expression, moving each individual arm with both sticks and the limb buttons on the back, it was all so intuitive and fun to do. Although, once me and my cousin learned how to slap each other in-game, it was over for my parents’ ears lol, we’d be screaming and yelling at each other. Sure enough that Christmas, I got the full game, specifically the special kind with some of the DLC pre-installed. That’s where the REAL fun began. Nearly every night after school I’d bring a couple of friends over and we’d try to play through as many levels as we could in one-sitting. The Metal Gear Solid DLC levels I often died immediately in and I would wait for an older kid I knew to get to a checkpoint and revive me. Regardless of how bad I was at the game, it was so much fun, especially now that we were able to experience the create mode. My mom actually started playing it, too. I don’t have any pictures of it sadly but she made a really expansive house with separate rooms and secret passages everywhere, it was really cool. I’d say I spent a good year or so playing the first game, then Christmas 2011 arrived. That’s when I got LittleBigPlanet 2.
LBP2 is my favorite video game of all time, it does what every good sequel should do: expand on what made the first game so amazing without straying too far away from its core appeal. For starters, if you already owned LBP the game will ask you right off the bat if you wish to import all of your collected items, costumes, and levels into LBP2. This absolutely BLEW MY MIND and in a weird way it kind of made playing the first game obsolete. You mean to tell me EVERYTHING I’ve ever made is already here, I can just… continue working on it?! I can still rock the same costumes I had, I can play music from the FIRST game in the SECOND game?!?! That alone made LBP2 so much of a gem in my eyes, it was LITERALLY the first game and MORE. But the fun didn’t end there! It was around this time I got a PSN account, so I was able to experience everyone else’s creations online and… wow. A whole new world just opened up, a whole community to engage and interact with. I met so many amazing people, some of whom are my closest friends to this day, over a decade later. It was through a group of some older kids that I often tagged along with that started getting into anime and comics more. 2011-2014 was a magical time to be on LBP, those years really felt like “The Golden Years” of the online community. Oh yeah and LBP Karting and the portable games existed too, I guess. I played LBPK, I thought it was fun… I still own it, but I’ve barely touched it after all these years. From what I’ve heard PSP and Vita seemed like a lot of fun, I’ve just never played them. Around early-mid 2014, it was announced that there would be a third LBP game for both the PS3 and the newly-released PS4. New characters, 16-LAYERS in create-mode (!!!), and a weird purple lightbulb as the new main-antagonist of the story mode… “Newton”. I remember being so excited for it to release. We were FINALLY getting a THIRD LittleBigPlanet, for a new console, too! We sure did, alright.
To this day, I’m still not sure how to feel about LittleBigPlanet 3, and it feels like the greater community more or less can’t ether. This game… SHOULD be better than the 2nd game, and you know what? Catch me on a good day and I might say that I prefer LBP3 to LBP2. Everything’s there, a new story, cross-compatibility with LBP and LBP2, a fleshed-out create mode, all of it’s there and what we have in the game is phenomenal, however there’s one big, glaring issue that distracts it from being superior to its predecessors… this game is BROKEN. I know people like to throw out that term a lot with somewhat buggy games but oh my god, LBP3 is DANGEROUSLY glitchy and exploitative. By this point, Media Molecule had moved on from the LBP series to continue developing new games, leaving Sumo Digital to oversee LBP3’s development. I feel so bad for Sumo Digital because it’s painfully obvious Sony rushed their time to complete the game for a holiday 2014 release date… and the quality of the final game reflects the time-crunch they must’ve gone through. Joining friends can take you up to a half-hour if you’re unlucky, it’s a gamble if the game will even function properly. Often you’ll be sent back to your pod after the game rapid-fires it’s loading screen (btw serious warning for anyone with epilepsy: DON’T play LittleBigPlanet 3, it does stuff like this all the time), but when the screen fades in, Sackboy doesn’t respawn, soft-locking the game. Fun! I’m not sure if anyone else suffered from this one specific, GAME-BREAKING bug as I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it, but around 2015 or so my game’s gravity just… freaked out, regardless if you were in hover-mode or not, Sackboy would float off to the left of the screen and phase through all of the walls. I tried restarting the game, cleaning off the physical disc the sink, but nothing would fix it, I literally had to reset my game progress. Very fun! Another weird thing I ran into is the inability to place down stickers with the PS Eye Camera Tool. It just stopped working entirely at one point, even in previous games like LBP2. No idea how THAT happened, very strange bug. Despite all this… I powered through, because truthfully I do think the content in LBP3 is superior to the previous games. The music is great, I found myself genuinely invested in the story and it’s characters, the DLC packs introduced in LBP3 were all very fun, and the create mode is a GODSEND compared to the first 2 games. Honestly, that’s one of the 2 reasons why I chose to stick around with LBP3, there is SO MUCH you can do with the tools it provides you. For those of you who don’t know, for the last couple years or so I’ve been building full working models of the Thomas the Tank Engine characters in LBP3, and that’s led to me gaining a humble but amazingly awesome following in the game. I love Thomas, I love LBP, I just wanted to put those two interests together and I’m very happy people seemed to have liked what I made, which is very wholesome and sweet.
I am devastated that the game’s online services are now gone for good, but it was kind of inevitable. LBP3’s lack of quality opened the door for a lot of nasty exploitation and modifications people made to their games. The servers were hacked in 2021, and that led to the termination of the PS3’s servers. It wasn’t hard to deduce that PS4’s servers were running on borrowed-time. Regardless of how unfortunate it’s closure was, this franchise was supported for 16 years. That’s not a bad run at all. I would say I’m surprised it wasn’t closed sooner, but then again… I’m not surprised. The LittleBigPlanet community is so amazing and passionate over these games. When the 2021 server attacks happened we all rallied together online to keep it alive, if just for a little bit longer. Even at its very end, a lot of us had so much more creativity to share with the world. To all those out there listening, I hope you’re able to channel that creativity outlet even further beyond in the future, whenever and wherever that may be. As for me, I’m going to attempt to learn “Dreams”, Media Molecule’s spiritual successor to the LBP games, released on PS4/PS5. From what I’ve seen and played of that game, it scratches that itch LBP left on me. It’s so good.
Rest easy, Sackboy. Thank you for some of the best experiences I could have asked for in a video game. Here’s hoping for a LBP4 one day, old friend. 🌎
#little big planet#lbp#lbp fanart#lbp2#littlebigplanet 3#sackboy#sony ps4#playstation#media molecule#sumo digital#ps4#ps3#playstation 3#sony ps3#Oddsock#swoop#toggle#larry da vinci#clive handforth#newton lbp3#negativatron
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Take to the Sky
Namor x Udaku! Reader
Author's Note: Hey Guys!!! This is finna be my first foray into the Black Panther Universe. I saw Wakanda Forever last Thursday and it was a THRILL RIDE. As with most writers, I got inspired to write my first one-shot based on the movie with Reader chan and everyone's fave agua DADDY NAMOR so let's see how your story unfolds.
Also, I used a translator for the Yucatec Mayan so if it's off. Tell me in the comments
As I offered you to BAST when you were just a little babe, the winds around us blew wildly. Suddenly you were lifted from my arms. The elders were in surprise but the shaman was not surprised for he saw in you a greater purpose as well as a great danger which you are the key to stopping...............
That was your favourite story growing up, the one of your birth. The Ukadu's are Wakanda's Royal family and the guardians of the Black Panther mantle for generations but with you it was special. Your birth was of significance since it was not Bast who visited but the wind goddess who blessed you with bird wings to soar above the clouds. Yet with this power came a great danger which was unknown. Ever since then, you were hidden. Coming out when deemed necessary as well as acquiring the best training necessary from Okoye and the rest of the Dora.
Life for the most part was peaceful, loving and full of happiness for your family and people but it was not meant to last. The last six years being the most painful for your loved ones. Losing your father along with your siblings forced you to conform to the duties of becoming a future leader rapidly. Though you didn't need to inherit the throne for a good while, Queen Ramonda needed the assistance to best lead Wakanda during its turbulence as well as lifting some of the burdens from her shoulders. Not long after the blip's reversal, T'Challa's health deteriorated and eventually, he succumbed and joined the ancestors. Holding your mother's hand with eyes bloodshot red staring off into space, it felt as if your body went numb. The emotions depart with your brother until a hollow husk was left. It was always the 3 musketeers but now it's down to two. You knew it was never truly the end only its beginning.
ONE YEAR LATER............................................................
The sky was a place where you found solace. The impossible fades away and the unknown reigns supreme. Today is the One year anniversary of T'Challa's passing and mother wanted us to take a day to pay homage to his spirit as well as finally put our grief behind us but you couldn't shake the feeling in your bones that something is to occur today and you prayed to Bast that it's not serious.
Mini time skip
You all were sitting by the river's edge, a fire roaring to keep warm as well as a family of elephants to keep companionship with.
"Come girls, we are going to enact the final piece of the grieving ritual", Queen mother states as she surrenders her white garb to the fire, its heat and flames consuming it.
"Buring of the garbs marks the end of the grieving process and how we fully connect with those who have passed on to the spiritual plane.", she says solemnly.
"I can't do that. If I think of my brother too long it's not those clothes I would burn, but the world.", Shuri responds. You can feel where she comes from with being gifted a brilliant mind but unable to save whom she loves most.
Suddenly the elephants sense a disturbance and the Queen Mother goes to investigate with a spear in tow along with your sister. You grab your sword ready to defend your family and that's when a human or what you can describe as human for this male has wings at his ankles that play off of the Greek Messenger God Hermes as well as adorned with many jewels and clothing which also gives off remnants of a lost period of history.
'Who are you!", Your mother interrogates the stranger.
"This place is amazing, the air is pristine. My mother told me stories of a place like this, with people who never had to leave or change who they were. What right did your son have to reveal yourselves to the rest of the world," He says almost deathly calm.
"I'm not a woman who likes repeating herself, WHO.ARE.YOU", your queen mother says with authority.
"I have many names. My people me K'Kul'kan, but my enemies call me NAMOR.'' he says finally revealing who he is.
After laying his case, or more on the lines of his demands for the American Scientist who engineered the Vibranium detector he proceeds to leave but not before he speaks once more,
"To'on yaan k suut kaxtik chan ch'íich' '' and with that, he dolphin dives into the water once more.
"Well that's an entrance,", you say but gasp in horror as your eyes gaze on the underwater machine beside the mini camp setup.
"The council must be alerted immediately", Ramonda says urgently
Meanwhile in Talokan..............................
''Le chan ch'íich'o' ts'o'ok u revelado. Yuumtsilo'ob finalmente in u séen revelado ka sabrá u propósito yéetel le k'iin.'', Namor says while continuing his ancient painting.
#namor x reader#wakanda forever#tenoch huerta x reader#mutant#kkulkan x reader#one shot#short stories#namor x poc!reader#shuri#black panther
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