#she said she wants to lose all but 10 pounds

[cinamun]

Total pregnancy weight gain = 32lbs

Weight loss to date = 9lbs

Keep it up girlie.

Hope has been eating fresh and shopping fresh thanks to this WIP Whole Foods by @simkoos thanks for letting me test it friend!

#ts4 #extras #she said she wants to lose all but 10 pounds #the extra 10 is for Jayce who has been in ass and thigh heaven #anyway #indya

[acourtofmarvels]

Comfort - Cassian Pt.1

Summary: MC has a hard time coping with Rhys, her brother, being under the mountain. She originally leans to alcohol until Cassian confronts her to lean on something else...

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, mentions of vomit only at the beginning. Mentions of smut but nothing detailed (sorry)

Word count: 2k

"Oh, gods," Cassian groaned. He gagged, stuffing his nose into his arm to try not to smell it.

"You can leave," I slurred. My head was currently in a toilet, puking my guts out. Cassian was behind me, holding my hair back.

"Yeah and let your drunk ass choke on your own vomit and die? Don't think so." He gagged again as I threw up again.

"I'm not drunk," I replied. I was so very drunk. Of course I would never admit that cause that would mean he was right. And I don't like when he's right.

"We're having a long talk in the morning. You can't keep doing this every night." His voice was soft and full of concern. I wouldn't remember this conversation by the morning.

I would wake up with a pounding headache. A glass of water and a piece of bread with an elixer to help with the headache on the nightstand by my bed. I would see a fresh pair of clothes layed out in the bathroom beside a warm bath, kept warm from the magic of the house.

After my bath I would go back to sleep and wake up around lunch time. I would go to the kitchen and most likely find Cassian and/or Mor sitting at the table eating lunch. We wouldn't say anything to each other. I would eat lunch and then go about my day with whatever duties was needed of me. That following night I would either drink myself into the same pattern or cry myself to sleep.

I couldn't deal with my emotions very well. It seemed like everything was always heightened, especially sadness and anger. I found it hard to cope which is why I leaned toward alcohol. Just to numb it all. The night I didn't drink was punishment to myself. The guilty feeling just made me want to feel it all. I couldn't do anything to help him.

That next morning was different though. There was nothing layed out for me like usual. I deserve that. I never deserved Cassian's gentleness in the first place. It was never spoken but I always know it was him who left the stuff for me. Guess last night was the final straw. Whatever... I didn't care.

I ran my own bath and changed into clean clothes. I brushed my hair and pulled it up away from my face. I walked out of my bedroom in the House of Wind and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Cassian, Azriel and Mor were all there. I knew if they weren't out early in the morning they ate breakfast together sometimes. Rhys and I would join a lot in the past before but...

I wasn't ever awake for breakfast nowadays. If I was up that early I would skip breakfast and spar with Azriel at Windhaven. It felt like forever that I had been in the same room as all three of them. Thank the gods Amren wasn't here.

"Good, you're awake!" Cassian said loudly. I winced and closed my eyes. He did that on purpose.

"Would you mind keeping your voice down, please?" I whispered. I sat down at the table with them and some hot tea appeared in front of me. I loved this house.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have a headache or something?" He didn't lower his voice. He was angry. That's fine.

"Azriel, there is something I wanted to show you," Mor said to him.

"Right, you mentioned you wanted to show me that. How about now?" Azriel replied. They both stood up from the table and walked quickly out of the dining room.

"You guys aren't slick." I rolled my eyes. I knew what they were doing.

"The drinking has to stop." Cassian went straight to the point. "You're not helping yourself."

"You don't get to dictate how I deal with my pain," I replied taking a sip of my tea.

"It's been 10 years," Cassians voice was soft and quiet now. "You have to find something else to lean on. You're going to drink yourself to death and I-... We can't lose you too."

I couldn't help the tears roll down my face.

"Our brother is in the hands of a monster. I cannot imagine the horrors he is going through and there is nothing I can do to help him! I can't save him, Cass... I can't free him. I do not know if he is okay. And I miss him so so much."

I hadn't let myself cry in front of my family since the day Rhys never came home. Since he spoke to all of us mind-to-mind that he couldn't come home.

Cassian was knelt in front of me, pulling me into his arms to cry into his shoulder. I knew he was crying too. We all shared the same pain. We all dealt with it differently. After a few moments of just holding onto each other, oh so very tightly. That deep fear of losing each other just how we had lost Rhys, we pulled away.

Cassian held my face in his hands, forcing me to look him directly in the eyes, our noses basically touching from the close proximity. "The drinking needs to stop, or slow down at least." He brushed away the tears on my face with his thumbs. "You are not going through this alone. We need you. I need you. You can't push us away."

"How do you deal with it?" I sniffed.

"I don't always. It hurts like hell and I'm fucking terrified for him... But Rhys wouldn't want this. He'd want us to be strong. For him, for each other, and for our court. Our people look up to us." Cassian pressed a longing kiss to my forehead. "You are not alone."

"What do you do when it gets to much?"

"Fight. Scream. Cry.... Fuck," he shrugged and I couldn't help but laugh a little. Cassian smiled when he saw he made me laugh. "I'm being serious. It's a great stress reliever."

"I'm aware. I just wasn't expecting you to say that when we are having a serious talk." I leaned away from his embrace, wiping the remaining tears from my face.

"You think highly of me if you think I can be serious for more than ten minutes." Cassian's smile matched my own now. We both bursted into laughter.

"Why did they send you to do the talking then?" Cassian stood up from his crouching position and sat on the table in front of me.

"Because Azriel would cave the second you started crying, Amren would most likely be the one to make you cry, and Mor didn't have the balls to confront you about it. We agreed that I could talk to you, comfort you and make you smile afterwards."

His smile fell after a moment of silence. "I need you back. This was the first time I've heard you laugh in 10 years. I need the old you back. And I'm not leaving your side until you are."

"I can't get back there. Not until Rhys is home and safe."

"I know... But you're not alone in this. We go through this together, okay?" Cassian held his hand out to me. I hesitated before I nodded and took a hold of it.

*** 5 years later***

"I gotta get to the Illyrian camp, Az is expecting me in 20 minutes." Cassian was walking around the kitchen of the cabin looking around for his things.

"Can't you tell him you're running late?" I pouted.

"You know he hates when people are late. He's already pissed at me for last week. 2 minutes late and he has a come apart." Cassian pulls on his boots.

"Yeah he really went hard in our training yesterday since I was late." I walked him over to the front door.

Cassian turned the knob to the front door and opened it slightly. He let out a yelp and jumped slightly.

"What's-?" His hand clamped over my mouth and he pushed me back to where my back was against the wall.

"Mor! Hey!" My eyes went wide. Oh shit. "What are you doing here?" He sounds so suspicious. Was he even trying to act normal?

The wards in the cabin will mask my scent and basically soundproofs the whole cabin to the outside. There's no way she will know I'm here until she steps a foot inside.

But if Cassian doesn't stop acting all shady then she's gonna know somethings up.

"Why are you acting all weird?" I could just imagine the confusion on her face right now. We are so screwed.

I was trying so hard not to laugh right now. Cassian's hand pressed tighter over my mouth. His thumb ran gently back forth on my cheek.

"I've got a female over. Look I don't need your judgement, okay? A guy has needs. But I would really prefer you not come in." Okay he's not wrong. He didn't say who he had over. Cassian is awful at lying so telling the truth is more convincing.

"Oh, really Cassian? Ugh," Mor gagged. "You couldn't have taken her somewhere else? This is our place. We share it."

"Don't act like you haven't brought someone up here to fuck before. We've all done it. Now, what do you want?" I smirked against his hand. I reached out my arm and ran a finger down the inside of his wing. Cassian inhaled quickly and tucked them in away from my reach.

"I left a book here that I need. Can I come in and get it?" Cassian moved more to where he blocked more of the entrance.

"Where is it? I'll get it." Mor told him where she left it and what it looked like. He closed the door in her face quickly. His hand that was covering my mouth now gripped my jaw.

"You cruel, wicked thing. Are you trying to get us caught?" He towered over me. His eyes flared with passion as he looked down at me.

I bit my lip and batted my eyelashes up at him. "Maybe," I smiled innocently.

His hand trailed from my face down to my throat where he squeezed gently. "You're so in for it tonight." He leaned down so close I thought he was going to kiss me. I craved it. I wanted him. I know he could smell my arousal.

His lips brushed against mine before he pulled back and walked away. "You're not the only one who can tease." He had Mor's book in his hands now. "I've gotta go. When you touch yourself later make sure you think of me." He winked at me before opening the front door and walking out.

Asshole.

Ok so I stopped the excessive drinking that day Cassian talked to me 5 years ago. But I was having a hard time channeling my emotions into something else. I think I definitely wore Azriel and Cassian out with the constant sparring. Which was a shock. I screamed a lot, cried a lot. Cassian was by my side the whole time like he said.

400 years. 400 years I have known Cassian and not once have either of us made a move. I know Cassian never did because I was Rhy's little sister. I never made a move because I didn't want to anything to change between mine and Cassian's friendship.

But one night. Just one night I was so tired of screaming and crying. My whole body hurt from sparring with Azriel that morning. But I still needed a release. Some sort of release.

I don't think I remember exactly how it happened next. I think 400 years of pent up sexual frustration finally broke between the two of us and neither one of us gave a fuck about what the repercussions would be.

And we haven't stopped since. We can't tell the others. No one can know. It's our secret. Mor and Azriel wouldn't understand. Amren couldn't give a fuck. I think she already knows anyway.

Azriel probably suspects something is going on. He is the spymaster overall. He knows everything. He hasn't said anything otherwise which I'm grateful for.

Maybe this happening between Cassian and I wasn't so surprising. I've always been attracted to him. I've always loved him as my family and best friend. Who am I kidding though? It's obviously been more than that.

We have something special.

I think he could be my mate. I love him so much. If he's not my mate I don't even care. I want him forever. I need him for eternity.

Part 2 continues here

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #cassian #azriel #rhysand #cassian fanfic #cassian imagine #cassian x reader #cassian fanfiction #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #acosf #rhysand sister #cassian x you #cassian acotar

[pedrisbanana]

not sure if youve written something similar before or not so sorry! but reader tells pedri she thinks he looks so hot when hes driving so he teases her in the car but shes a bit of a brat so pushes his buttons too and he ends up having to pull over to fuck her 🤭

Pedri driving is driving you crazy...

Driven By Pleasure

"You're so hot when you're driving Pepi.". You said and touched his hand on the gear stick as he changed gears. 

Pedri chuckled, putting his hand over yours so you wouldn't let go. 

You liked his hands. They were big and warm. Sometimes they were rough, holding you close to him. 

Shifting on the seat, you tried to get a better look at your boyfriend. His arms were exposed because he was wearing one of his white designer shirts. The muscles of his right arm flexed as he guided your hands to shift the gear again. His brown eyes focused on the road again as the traffic light turned green.

"I wish you gripped my hips like that." your eyes flickered to his hold on the black steering wheel.  "When you take off my panties. They're already uncomfortable from how wet I am because I keep watching you." 

You moved your hand and took his, guiding him to the inside of your thighs. 

"Can you feel me Pedri ? Can you feel how wet you've made me ?"

His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel harder and his jaw clenched, trying to concentrate on the driving. You could hear his breath hitching as you moved his fingertips over the wet lace of your panties. 

Pedri forcefully released his hand from your grip. 

"Don't test my patience, munieca."  he warned, but his anger only turned you on even more. 

Oh, to have his hips pounding into you mercilessly as he used you for his pleasure. 

Growing at the rejection, you crossed your arms. Good. If he didn't want to pleasure you, you'd have to pleasure yourself and you got the most pleasure when you could touch him. 

You loved getting him off. Seeing him close his eyes and bite his lip in ecstasy did things to you. Reading over to palm his crotch, you thanked yourself for convincing Pedri to put on sweatpants today instead of his usual skinny jeans. 

He wasn't hard. Not even swelling. Didn't you affect him at all?

Slipping your hand past the waistband, you pouted. Time to change that. Pedri's skin was hot under your fingertips and the near animalistic growl he let out  made you clench your thighs in excitement. 

"Mi vida." he moaned as you wrapped your hand around his soft shaft. 

You moved your hand in slow movements, feeling him harden underneath your touch. Stroking over the tip with your thumb, you spread the precum. Before deciding on your next move, you pushed the waistband further down to have more room. Pedri leaned his head against the headrest, trying to act like your actions left him cold. 

He looked even hotter like this, hands gripping the steering wheel, Eyes dark and focused while his now hard cock was hanging out of his pants. 

When you reached to stroke him again, he stopped you. "Keep your hands to yourself, amor." 

"But you love it when I get you off ?" you playfully pouted, hands now resting in your lap. 

"We're only 10 minutes away from my house, but desperate sluts like you can't even bear that short without my cock in one of your holes." he scolded you. His voice was angry and loud and caused your pussy to clench. 

Contemplating if you should drop it and just wait the rest of the drive, you looked at the hands in your lap. Your panties really were uncomfortable. 

From the corner of the eye you saw Pedri trying to fix his pants with one hand. This angered you since you haven't decided yet if you were going to suck him off. 

"Can you drive faster or do I need to fuck myself in here ?" you crossed your arms. 

"Not my problem you get wet by just looking at me." he scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

"I'm not the one who can't even handle a little touching in the car without losing focus on the traffic, because he obviously has the stamina of a prepubescent boy." You leaned closer to his ear. "Are you afraid to spill all over my hand before we even pass the next traffic light ?" 

Before you could think, you were pushed into your seat. Pedri turned the steering wheel and hit the breaks. Shutting the engine, his hand touched your knee. 

He was still looking at the empty side strip in front of you. "You should be careful about that mouth of yours, mi vida." 

His brown eyes now on yours, you were hypnotized. His hand skimmed up your leg, over your stomach, breast and onto your throat, thumb resting on your bottom lip. You darted your tongue out to taste the saltiness on his skin. 

Pedri dropped his gaze and you followed. The other hand reached inside his pants to pull himself out again. He was still red and swollen. 

His grip on your neck tightened, pushing your head down to his crotch. "Open up nicely, hermosa." 

Your boyfriend didn't give you time to adjust to his size before he pushed his hips up into your face. You started gagging at the sudden intrusion at the back of your gorge and your hands arched for some sort of leverage. 

You pawed at his thighs and stomach, but Pedri was stronger, his hips fucking into your mouth. His pace was so fast, you had a hard time getting used to his rhythm and joining it. 

Tears spilled from your eyes and you were sure mascara wasn't only staining your face but the hem of his shirt as well. 

The grip in your neck relaxed a little as he started to groan in pleasure. He was enjoying to use your mouth for his pleasure. You tried to move your head, but he fisted your hair, keeping you in place. 

Somehow this rough treatment had you rotating your hips against the seat to create some friction between your legs. 

Just as you could relax your jaw a little around him, Pedri pulled your head up. 

He looked at your face with a smirk. You swallowed hard, the taste of him on your tongue. You didn't know if the tears were only coming from the gag reflex. Somehow you wanted to sob. 

Pedri cocked a brow. "What's wrong ? I thought you wanted to pleasure me ? That you love getting me off ? I bet you already stained my seat  you little slut." 

You looked down, not being able to hold his stare. His thumb wiped at your tears and mascara stains. 

Feeling his plush lips kiss your jaw softly made your heart flutter. His nose nuzzled your cheek. 

The flutters disappeared when he pulled at your hair before pushing your face down on him again, making your lips wrap around his cock. 

This time he wasn't fucking your face as fast as before, but still fast enough to push his cock deeper down your throat with every thrust. 

The fingers in your hair started to massage your scalp. Your thighs pressed together, but your clit didn't stop pulsing. 

"Where do you want me to come, mi vida ? I'm close." The mocking tone crept back upon his voice. 

You flinched as his there hand found your breasts and flicked your nipples through the dress. "Here ? My cum always looks so pretty on your tits and I just know how much you love tasting it with your fingers." 

He pulled at your hair to push you back up to look at him. Spit ran from your swollen lips. Your face felt hot and flushed. 

"Yes. Please." you moaned, already pushing the spaghetti straps from your shoulders to expose your chest to him. 

Pedri smiled and moaned as he stroked himself. Bending over to him again, your hands joined to get him over the edge. 

Hot spurts of his cum decorated your dark nipples and some even hit your face as he called your name into the dark of the night. 

You licked your lips when he came down from his high. "Are you going to fuck me now ? I'm already so sensitive ?" 

Pedri leaned back into his seat and put himself back into his sweatpants. "I thought I taught you a lesson, hermosa ? Already being a needy brat again ?" 

You smirked. "Maybe we should get home and you can try again."

A/N: Finally ! This was a pain to get done.

Is Pedri wearing only sweats no boxers ? Yes!

Too lazy to proofread so excuse my mistakes.

I hope you like a little rough Pedri. Tell me what you think and leave me some love😝

Love ya

#pedri gonzalez #pedri smut #pedri fanfic #pedri one shot #pedro gonzález lópez #pedri x reader

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 10

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents.

Word Count: 6.0k

Chapter 9 | Masterlist

A few weeks go by, May is over and we were diving headfirst into June. After my eye appointment Jake took me to the bookstore, where we bought a few books that I had been wanting and then we went home. I immediately got online and started looking for frames for my glasses. I scrolled and scrolled for a few days until I came across those same Kate Spade glasses I saw on display. I went to scroll past them when I saw they were on a massive sale. They were originally two hundred and sixty dollars, but they were marked down to one hundred and ten online. That's the average price for glasses, but I bit my lip looking at them. I couldn't ask Jake for these even if they were on sale. "Find some you like?" I jumped, losing my grip on my phone as Jake startled me from behind. "Jake! God, don't scare me like that." I said, my hand over my heart as I leaned back into the couch. He just laughed, coming around and sitting next to me. Before he was even completely sitting, he snatched my phone, looking at the frames. "These are nice." He said, looking at them.

"Yeah but they're too expensive." I responded and he scoffed. "One ten isn't bad, darlin'. I was doing some research and saw the average was two hundred dollars.” He looked through everything on the glasses before turning to me. “There.” He said as he handed me my phone. I looked down and saw he had ordered them. “What if those weren’t the ones I wanted?” I asked and he laughed. “I saw you lookin’ at them at the doctor’s office darlin’. You wanted them.” With that he disappeared into the kitchen. I sighed, relaxing back into the couch as I looked at my phone. I felt bad because Jake has dropped a lot of money on me in the past few days, I had to figure out a way to pay him back. Of course, with no money that’s near impossible. So I would have to do something else. I thought about it for a while before figuring out a plan. While he was at work that week, I made sure the house was spotless, I did his laundry, made his bed and was prepping dinner by the time he got home. The first day he thanked me and was so pleased. But after a few weeks he came into my room after dinner, leaning on my door frame as he watched me put lotion on my legs. “Can I talk to you?” He asked and immediately my heart started pounding in my chest. “Um, yeah.” I put my lotion down and he came, sitting on my bed, looking at me. 

“Why are you doing all this stuff?” He asked and I furrowed my brows. “The cleaning?” “And the cooking, and doing my laundry, and making my bed.” I frowned, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Do you not want me to do that?” He sighed, flopping back on my bed. “I appreciate it, I really do. But it’s every day. Isn't there something else you'd rather spend your day doing?" He asked. I sighed, looking at the few books he bought me. I was halfway through one and I knew if I read all day I’d have the entire stack finished in two weeks. Then Jake would feel like he had to buy me more books. Television isn’t really doing it for me, and you can only watch so many movies. “Honestly?” He nodded. “Honestly.” I sighed, hugging my knees tighter. “Yeah. But I can’t think of much other than reading and it sucks when you finish a book so fast.” He stared at me and I felt like he could read me as easily as flight patterns. “But… you’ve also spent so much money on me lately and I don’t have money to pay you back so I thought I would do things for you.” He sighed, his eyes turning to look at the ceiling. “Darlin’, you don’t have to pay me back for any of this.” I shook my head. “Jake, you signed up to help me get out, not take care of me.” He chuckled, rolling onto his side and propping his head on his fist. My eyes drifted and I couldn’t help but notice his bulging biceps. “Katie.” He said, my eyes meeting his. “Darlin,” He smiled at me. “I don’t care about taking care of you. I’m happy to do it if it means you don’t have to go back to that house of horrors.” I smiled at him. “Thank you.” I whispered and he smiled at me. “Okay. Well I’m gonna go to bed, I’m exhausted.” I nodded as he stood before leaning over and kissing my head. “Night, darlin’.” He said before walking out. “Night, Jake.” 

A week later my glasses came in and I was excited when Jake pulled the box from the mailbox, and handed it to me. “Oh my god!” I squealed, excited to be able to see clearly again. I rushed inside, setting the box on the counter and searching for the scissors. “Dammit! Where are they?” I called out and I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned to see Jake, scissors in hand as he grinned at me. “Ah! Thank you!” I said, yanking the scissors from his hand and practically tearing the box apart. “I’ve never seen someone so excited for glasses.” I laughed at his words. “Well I have pretty shitty eyesight, so I’m excited to see clearly again.” I said, reaching into the box of packing peanuts and pulling out my new glasses. “HA!” I yelled, quickly cleaning the little bits of foam off the lenses. I slid them on and it took my eyes a second to adjust after going a few weeks without glasses but finally I could see. “Well?” He asked and I looked at him. Finally from a distance I could see him so clearly. “They’re great! I can finally see!” I looked out the kitchen window to the backyard. “Nice to know the leaves are still individual and not giant green blobs.” He laughed as he looked out the window with me. “Is your eyesight really that bad?” He asked and I pulled my glasses off, holding them out to him. “It’s not the worst eyesight ever but anything two feet in front of me and past that is blurry.” I told him and he held my glasses up to his face. “Oh my god that is blurry.” He said and I laughed, taking my glasses back. “So you can see why I’m happy to have glasses again.”

Another two weeks after that I had my first therapy session after Jake got off work and I lost track of time again and had to rush to get ready. Once again I tossed on a dress, some sandals, my hair was in a bun and I had no makeup. I grabbed my purse, rushing downstairs as Jake waited for me. “Come on. I can’t be late! God, of course I would make myself late.” I said as I rushed by him. “Katie, hang on.” He said, following me. “Did you not just hear me? I’m running behind, no thanks to my shitty time management skills.” I said, getting in the truck. Jake huffed, getting in beside me. I was a nervous wreck for this. Bradley has tried all week to calm me down and it did in the moment, then the nerves would creep back in. “Katie, can we talk?” I sighed, taking deep breaths and tried not to snap at him. “Jake.” I said as my voice broke and tears filled my eyes. “I am trying not to freak out right now. Could we talk after my session?” I asked and he gave me a small smile, nodding. “Yeah,” His voice was soft as he reached over the console, grabbing my hand and holding our intertwined fingers on it. “We can talk after.”

The rest of the ride was quiet but as Jake’s thumb rubbed my knuckles I calmed a little. But as soon as he let go and threw the truck in park, the nerves were back as I stared up at the tall building. I managed to get out and walk around the truck, heading for the door but I stopped short. My hand clutched the leather straps of my purse as it sat on my shoulder. Could I really do this? Tell a complete stranger everything that’s happened to me? Especially within the last few months? Well, I guess Jake was a complete stranger once. “Want me to go in with you?” I turned to see Jake leaning out the window of his truck. I sighed defeatedly. “Would you?” He smiled, rolling up the window and getting out. “C’mon.” He said, holding out his hand for me. “Thank you.” I said as I took his hand and walked inside. We took the elevator up to the eighth floor and down the hall to Dr. Davis’ office. We walked in and I smiled at the receptionist. “Hi, my name is Katie Blair. I have an appointment with Dr. Davis.” The lady hummed and typed on her keyboard. “Fill this out and have a seat.” She said in a bland tone. I gave her a small nod and took the clipboard, following Jake to some empty seats. We sat down and I looked at the clipboard. There was so much they needed to know, it was a little overwhelming. I eventually filled out everything I knew but when it came to things like insurance, I was stuck. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “I uh- I don’t have insurance and I don’t really know what to put.” I said and he leaned over, looking. “Here. Self-pay.” I checked the little box and sat back. 

He squinted at the paper that had my name on it. “Why does that name look familiar?” He asked. “Probably because it’s mine.” I sassed and he chuckled, nudging me. “Haha. No, I mean your first and middle name. Katie Scarlett.” I sighed, scrunching my nose at his question. “Ever seen Gone With The Wind?” It was my mother’s favorite movie, and of course. “No!” He gasped. “She didn’t.” I nodded. “If my last name had been O’Hara she would’ve kept me in corsets and hoop skirts.” He chuckled. “Well I like your name.” I nodded. “I do too. I think it’s pretty, just wish she had been more creative.” I said before getting up and walking over to the reception desk. “Here’s this.” She hummed, scowling at me as she looked up at me over the tops of her glasses. “For the record. You were late.” I bit my lip. My appointment was at four-thirty and we got into the office at four-thirty three. “Dr. Davis does not accept late patients.” My heart leapt into my throat. I got lucky with this early opening, they were booked out eight months otherwise. “Leave her alone Kathy.” A voice behind me spoke. “Hi, I’m Dr. Davis.” She held out her hand for me to shake. She was a little shorter than me, long dark brown hair and glasses on her face. She had to be about my mother’s age. And that worried me, what if she didn’t understand? “I-I’m Katie.” She smiled at me. “Well Katie, if you’re ready we can go into my office.” My gaze immediately shifted to Jake and he gave me a small smile. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.” I smiled at him and followed Dr. Davis into her office before she closed the door behind us. “Have a seat. Want some water?” At her question I realized my throat would dry. “Yes, please.” 

I sat in one of the comfy looking chairs she had in her office as she grabbed a bottle from the mini fridge and handed it to me. “You look lovely.” She complimented, sitting across from me. “Oh, uh thank you. I look like a wreck though. No makeup, my hair is pulled up and I just grabbed something from my closet.” I said and she nodded. “You still look beautiful.” My face flushed and she narrowed her eyes at me. “My mother always told me I had to be well put together to be beautiful.” She hummed, writing something down on her notepad. “Why don’t you tell me about your mother.” She asked and I took a deep breath. “She’s not a good person.” She nodded, writing stuff down. “And why is that?” I was a little agitated but I knew she had to ask. “I never remember her being necessarily kind to me. When I was little she had me in beauty pageants, my talent was a gymnastics routine and I was good at it. I would come in first almost every time and she would be so proud.” I said as tears gathered in my eyes. “I was seven and she set up my equipment. I threw a backhandspring on the balance beam, fell off and somehow snapped my femur in half.” She nodded. “That must have been painful.” I pursed my lips. “It was.” My hand fell to my leg, something I haven’t done in years. “I felt it immediately, my thigh was curved medially.” I said, using my hand to curve away from my body all the way down to my knee which pointed inwards. “I cried. God did I cry. Everyone panicked and one father was a medic and rushed over. But just before that I remember my mom telling me to shut up and not grab attention. But as soon as he came over, she was the worried mother, crying over her child's pain.” 

She hummed, passing me a box of tissues. “That makes you mad?” “No shit it makes me mad.” I snapped before taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” She shook her head with a smile. “No, that’s good. You should be mad. Tell me more.” I nodded. “Um, I couldn’t make friends. My mother tried to tell me we were better than everyone, but it never stuck. I was a social child, I loved talking to people and making friends but as soon as I would really get to know someone, form a bond we would move. Eventually I just stopped trying and before I knew it, totally isolated.” I said, wanting to pull my knees up to my chest, but I was in a dress and that’s not lady like. “They wanted me to go to law school. So I did.” She hummed. “And how was that?” “Awful. I was the freak of the school. I get excited about things that no one else seems to care about.” She hummed again. “Like what?” I bit my lip, looking down. “Um, I used to have some fish and I would constantly talk to anyone about them that would listen.” I started pulling on my thumbs. “What were their names?” She asked and I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “Um, splish and splash were my two goldfish, Georgie was my guppy, Simon was an angelfish and then Ripley was a neon tetra.” She smiled at me. “Do you have a picture?” I nodded enthusiastically. When I got into my old backup account I saved a few pictures of my fish as well. I just couldn’t go without pictures of them. “Oh my, they’re so pretty.” She said, adjusting her glasses and I grinned. “Thank you.” I said, putting my phone back in my purse.

“What happened to them?” My breath caught in my throat, not expecting her to be so direct. I thought back to how angry my dad was and a chill ran down my spine. “I was supposed to be studying, but I had done it so much I just wanted to read my book.” She raised a brow but nodded. “My dad was already mad and when he saw I wasn’t studying, he got even more angry and swiped all my old pageant trophies off my dresser. He said I was lazy and stupid and told me I would be nothing without him. He tipped over my bookshelf, trashed my CD’s and when I told him I didn’t need him, he ripped my glasses from my face.” Her eyes were wide as she stared at me before writing in her notes. “Go on.” She motioned me to continue. “He told me if I wasn’t going to use my glasses to study, I must not need them. Then he took one of my textbooks and crushed them on my desk.” Her jaw was practically on the floor as I went on. “He threw me into the table that held my fish tank and he said he was sick of them, so he launched the book into the side of the tank. It shattered and they all flooded out onto the floor. They flopped around and I put them in a container of water, but none of them survived.” Tears filled my eyes at the memory. “Then he told me to get the hell over it and to clean up the mess.” 

“Katie. That’s abuse.” I nodded. “I know that now.” She sighed, taking a breath. “Anything else?” I hummed. “Can I just tell you recent stuff?” She nodded. “Not long before my dad killed my fish, my friend Jake, the one out in the waiting room, came over and helped me clean my fish tank and my parents came home early.” I thought back to the angry look on my fathers face. “As soon as the door shut, he grabbed me by my hair, dragged me from where I was standing in the tub, and threw me to the floor. Jake didn’t leave the house, he just closed the door but he was still there.” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “I managed to get him to leave just as my dad pulled off his belt and started hitting me.” She just seemed shocked by everything I was saying. “That’s not even the worst.” I said and she sighed. “Katie. We don’t have to go over everything today. We can do another session.” I shook my head. “I really wanna get this out.” She nodded again and got comfortable in her chair. “The day after my dad killed my fish, I ran off with Jake to his house. But I panicked and thought my dad would ruin his life so I went back.” She furrowed her brows. “How would your dad ruin Jake’s life?” She asked. “Jake is a Lieutenant in the navy. My dad is his Fleet Commander.” She hummed. “And how high in rank is Fleet Commander?” I chuckled, leaning my head back on the chair. “The highest. It’s the equivalent of an Army General. He is the person with the most control.” She hummed. “What happened when you went back?” 

“They tricked me.” She raised her brows in surprise. “They pretended like they knew they did wrong, and even apologized and told me they loved me.” It was silent for a moment as tears fell down my face. “That’s the first time I remember them saying they loved me… and it was a lie.” My voice broke as I grabbed a tissue. “I woke up the next morning to a lock outside my door. They locked me in and told me I was never coming back out.” She stared at me in shock. “How long were you locked in there?” I sighed. “A week. It was a Saturday when my mom made me get up and put me in the shower for the first time. She did my hair and I did my makeup before she put me in a white dress and locked me in again. She told me I had to look perfect for who they were bringing over.” I said as I wiped my eyes again. “I overheard them when they walked past the door. My mom said she didn’t care what these people did with me once I was out of her house.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “How did you get out?” She asked, concern lacing her voice. “They left and I kind of panicked. The door was locked, my windows were nailed shut, and I had no phone. But I sat against my bed and looked over at my desk. There was a curled cord hanging out of one of the drawers.” I chuckled. “It was my old landline, and thankfully my parents still had service running through the house. So I plugged in the phone jack and it worked. I called Jake and him and a few friends came in to get me out.” She gave me a small smile. “Sounds like great friends.” 

“They really are. Jake is letting me live with him now, but I feel so lost. I told him I would get a job but he offered for me to live there and go to nursing school. My mother always controlled my life, now that I got away. I don’t really know what to do.” She slapped her notepad down on the arm of her chair and leaned forward with a wide grin. “Do something for yourself.” I took a deep breath. “I came to therapy.” I gave her a smile and she chuckled. “Do something else.” I pursed my lips, thinking about what I could do. “Can I give a suggestion?” I nodded, feeling like a little guidance would help. “Go to nursing school.” My eyebrows shot up. “Really?” She nodded enthusiastically. “You have someone letting you live in their house rent free. Going to school, and working to pay bills would be so difficult. You are in a very good situation right now and you need to take advantage of it.” I nodded, biting my lip. “I’ll think about it.” She nodded. “Good.” We spoke a little more about our next steps in therapy and my mother’s voice in my head. By the end of my session I felt a little better and we stood. “I would really like to try EMDR with you. I think it could really help you move forward in the healing process.” I nodded. “You think I’ll ever be normal?” I asked and she chuckled. “If there’s anything I’ve learned in my line of work. Normal doesn’t exist. But we will work together to get you in the right headspace and ways to go through your life, without your mother’s voice in your head.” I nodded as she handed me a few pamphlets on EMDR, something she wanted to try with me. I was finally getting help. I felt a wave of emotions washing over me as I stared down at the pamphlets. Tears filled my eyes as I looked over at Dr. Davis. “Thank you, Dr. Davis.” She smiled at me, shaking my hand. “You’re welcome, Katie. Now, what are you going to do after this?” I chuckled, smiling at her. “Seriously consider nursing school.” She nodded and walked me out. “Make another appointment for whatever is convenient to you. We’ll figure out a time frame next time.” I nodded before she called another patient in. 

“You okay?” Jake asked as he walked over. He saw the tears in my eyes and opened his arms, pulling me into a hug. “I will be.” He nodded before releasing me to schedule my next appointment, but his arm never left my shoulder. I made another appointment for a month, thinking that would be a good time. Jake paid, which I felt guilty for, and grabbed my hand, walking us into the elevator then out to the truck. Once we got in, I wiped my eyes and turned to him. “Didn’t you have something to tell me?” He seemed a little surprised. “Oh, yeah. Bu-but it can wait till tomorrow.” I furrowed my brows as I leaned my head on the window. “You sure?” He nodded, giving me a soft smile. “I’m sure.” He asked me if I wanted to go eat somewhere before going home, but I felt so exhausted we just stopped for fast food and ate it on the couch. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked when we cleaned up and sat back down on the couch. “Yeah, I’m just really tired.” He hummed as my head laid back on the couch. It wasn’t long until I passed out on the couch, but the next morning I woke up in my bed. I looked at the clock and saw it said nine a.m. I slept for over twelve hours? I fell asleep before eight last night. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Jake was already at work. Jake. I thought for a second and realized he had to have carried me to bed. Unless I walked to bed and don’t remember? I’ll ask him when he gets home. With that I flung the covers off of me and grabbed my phone. I had a text from Phoenix asking about a birthday party for Rooster, and one from Jake asking about dinner tonight. “What could he have to say that he needs me and Kelly at dinner?” I asked myself as I went downstairs to make breakfast. I spent the day doing some research on EMDR and found a lot of interesting info on it. Before I could lose track of time, I showered a whole two hours before Jake came home, then tossed a load of towels in the washer. 

I couldn’t figure out what to wear so I texted Kelly and asked what she would be wearing. I had never been to this place but I had heard of it. She finally texted me back when Jake got home, saying she was wearing a navy blue slip dress. It gave me an idea of what to wear so I shifted through my closet as Jake knocked on the door frame. “Hey.” I turned and smiled at him as I pulled out a dress and held it up. “Hi. How was your day?” I asked. “Busy. I spent five out of nine hours in the air.” I poked my bottom lip out at him. “I’m sorry.” I said and he chuckled. “What are you doing?” He asked. “Just trying to find a dress. I’ve never been to this place so I text Kelly and asked what she was wearing.” He hummed, crossing his right leg over his left, hands in his pockets as he leaned on the door frame. The t-shirt showed off his muscular tan arms so well. “And what is she wearing?” He asked and I giggled. “Well she didn’t tell me I couldn’t tell you, but I won’t. All I’ll say is it’s a little navy number.” I said, winking at him. He smiled at me, watching as I held another dress up in front of my body as I looked at myself in the mirror in my room. “And what are you wearing?” I shrugged. “Not sure yet. But when I find out, I’ll get your opinion.” He grinned at me before turning to walk away. “Hey Jake?” I asked and he turned back to me. “Did you…” I froze, feeling weird about asking this question. He walked closer, propping his elbow on the dresser and looking down at me with a grin. His face was so close to mine, his minty breath fanning across my face. “Did I what?” He asked. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I pushed past the not so pure thoughts crossing my mind. “Did you bring me up to bed last night?” I asked and he smiled at me so widely I thought I would go blind. 

“I did. I couldn’t let you be all uncomfortable on the couch.” He said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten up.” He shook his head, wrapping his fingers around one of my curls that I coated with finishing spray to keep it intact. “Don’t apologize. It was like lifting a sheet of paper.” He said before leaning in and kissing my forehead. “Thank you.” I said as he turned to walk out. “We have two hours before we have to pick up Kelly and make our reservations.” I nodded as he walked down to his room. It took me a minute to gather my thoughts but once I did I threw myself into my closet. I couldn’t think about him that way. He was a friend, and one that was doing so much for me. Plus, he was in a relationship and he would never be interested in me anyway. Finally I found a dress and hung it on the outside of my closet before going and putting my makeup on. It was soft and simple, light pink eyeshadow to match the flowers on my dress. Once that was done we had half an hour before we left so I put on the dress and grabbed my nude heels. I had no jewelry which felt weird, I almost felt incomplete without it. So I just grabbed my purse and walked downstairs where I put my shoes on. “Woah.” I turned to find Jake standing on the second to last step. “Too much?” I asked and he stared at me for a second before shaking his head. “No. No, not at all.” I smiled, brushing the skirt of my dress. It was a black maxi dress with pink magnolia blooms on it. It had a split on one side of the skirt and the top was a cross halter which left my back completely exposed. 

“You look beautiful.” I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me. “Thank you.” I said and he smiled at me. “Ready, darlin’?” He asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” He grabbed my hand and led me out to the truck, opening the passenger door for me and helping me in. Once he got in we drove to Kelly’s house and I tried to pry the news out of him. “Oh come on. Please tell me!” I said, leaning across the center console and looking up at him with big doe eyes. “I’m not looking at you.” I sat back in my seat and pouted. “Why not?” I asked, offended. “I’d give in immediately if I did.” I felt a surge of something rush through my chest and I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. Soon we arrived at Kelly’s apartment complex and she walked out her door. I got out of the front seat, leaving the door open for her as I crawled into the back seat. I got in and buckled just as she climbed in. “Gee, your roommate does more for me than you do when getting in the truck.” She joked and he rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of annoyance in her tone. “Hi baby.” He said and they both leaned over the console, kissing each other sweetly. I gave them a small smile as they pulled apart, they intertwined fingers resting on the console. Just like ours were yesterday, and I frowned at the memory. There was a tension in the truck and we rode in silence. When we arrived, Jake handed the truck over to the valet and we walked in. When Jake helped Kelly out of the car, I really got a look at her dress. A navy midi slip dress with thin straps and a split up the thigh. She really looked pretty with her hair curled and pulled into a pretty bun, a few hairs framing her face. She was so pretty and I felt very… plain compared to her. 

I shook my insecurities aside as we walked in and we were led to a table in a back corner, soft lights illuminating the table. Jake pulled out mine and Kelly’s chairs before sitting down himself. He was next to Kelly and I was directly across from him. He rested his forearms on the table and I couldn’t look away from his arms, which had the sleeves rolled up. He looked so good in his navy shirt and black slacks, but I watched as his hand fell to her thigh and I felt a little dejected at the sight. But I had no right to be. I shook the thoughts from my mind and tuned into the conversation. “So, Katie. Jake told me you had therapy yesterday.” Jake’s face fell and I felt a little embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to know, but I didn’t tell Jake that either so I can’t get mad. “Um, yeah. I did.” Suddenly the waiter came over to take our drink orders. Jake and Kelly ordered some wine and I ordered water. “She’ll also have a glass of chardonnay.” My eyes snapped to Jake and the waiter nodded, walking away. “What if I didn’t want wine?” I asked and he chuckled. “I saw you looking at the wine menu.” Kelly immediately turned to me. “So how did your session go yesterday?” I sighed. “Um, really good actually. I think it’s gonna be good for me.” She nodded and our drinks came. I immediately picked up my glass, taking a large sip. Probably very un-lady-like but I didn’t care. By the time the food arrived I was two glasses in and feeling it. Hardly drinking makes for a low alcohol tolerance and I needed food to fix it. I sat here quietly while we waited and dug in as soon as the pasta sat in front of me. I listened to the conversation and sobered up quite a bit by the end of dinner.

“So… Katie.” He said, catching my attention as the waiter took my plate. He opened his mouth as he looked at me before quickly snatching the dessert menu. “Want some tiramisu?” He asked and I furrowed my brows at him. “Um, no thanks. I think we’ve racked up quite the bill tonight.” I said and he shook his head. “Nope, we're having dessert.” He said and caught our waiter's attention. “Three orders of tiramisu, please.” The waiter nodded and turned away. Kelly smacked his arm and caught his attention. “Tell her.” She practically growled out. My heart immediately sank. He was kicking me out. He’s grown tired of me and can’t stand to have me in his house anymore. He was throwing me out with nowhere to go. My breathing picked up and I felt like I couldn’t get any breath into my lungs. “Katie.” Jake caught my attention as the waiter set the coffee dessert in front of me, as well as another glass of wine. I snatched the glass, downing it as fast as possible. “Are you okay?” Kelly asked and I shook my head. “Not really. I’m so nervous I’m shaking.” I said and Jake furrowed his brows as Kelly squeezed his hand on the table. “Why are you nervous?” I sighed, squeezing my hands between my thighs to ground myself. 

“You’re kicking me out.” He seemed shocked and immediately leaned forward. “Katie. I would never do that. Why would you think that?” He asked and I shrugged, grabbing my spoon and digging in. “I figured you couldn’t stand to have me around anymore.” I said and he shook his head. “Katie no.” I sighed. “Then what is she pushing you to tell me?” I asked and he sighed, looking at Kelly as she took his hand in hers. “Katie. I’m getting deployed.” I looked at him shocked and it felt like everything was crashing down. Without Jake I would really be lost. If my parents found me, they would have no problem dragging me out of that house and back into the room. Hell, they probably wouldn’t feed me for a week. “Wh-what?” I stuttered out, my voice meek and small. “They’re shipping out the entire team at the end of the month. For six weeks.” I sat there as tears filled my eyes, looking down at the dessert in front of me, suddenly no longer enticed by it. “Katie? Are you gonna be okay?” Kelly asked and I looked up at her. “Um, to be honest. I don’t know.” I immediately stood, grabbing my purse. “I need some air.” I said before rushing past them and outside.

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#undiagnosed #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin top gun #hangman seresin #hangman #ADHD OC #jake seresin x neurodivergent oc

[cutecurly-hair]

Hearts Unleashed (Part 4)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 3,718

In future chapters I am going to change a few things and spice a few things up just for story purposes.

"Charlie, slow down!" I yelled, my breath coming in gasps as my heart pounded in my chest. The air was crisp with cold, but my body burned with the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Trying to keep up with Charlie, my feet felt like they were on the verge of giving out.

He glanced back with a smug expression. "This is a race, isn't it?" he questioned, maintaining his brisk pace. I'd have a witty comeback if I weren't currently running for dear life.

As if reading my thoughts, Charlie offered a tempting proposition, "If you can make it to the finish line, I'll get you that milkshake you've been craving." He casually wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. Internally groaning, I realized Charlie knew precisely where to hit me my weakness for sweets.

"Come on, Year 10!" Coach Singh's voice echoed across the field. "We've been doing this all term, and no one's beaten Charlie's time yet."

Feeling a surge of determination, I picked up my pace, pulling alongside Charlie. Gasping for breath, I managed to blurt out, "I want a vanilla shake with sprinkles on top." He shot me an impressed look, nodding, "A deal is a deal."

"Come on! Yes!" Coach cheered. "There you go, Y/N. Keep at it. Keep it moving!" she urged.

"Don't stop, Y/N, before Charlie leaves you in the dust!" she shouted. My face grew warm, and it wasn't just from the running. Maintaining my focus on the finish line, I couldn't ignore Nick Nelson's gaze fixed on me. My breath caught, causing me to stumble and lose my footing. Falling face first in the ground, Coach winced blowing the whistle.

I did not get up; I did not move I just laid there in embarrassment. as if the ground could somehow swallow me whole.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

As I pressed the bandage onto my knee, wincing at the pain, Charlie shot me a concerned look. "You sure you're, okay?" he asked, and I just nodded, trying to ignore the ache.

"At least you'll have a good-looking scar," he joked while struggling with his books from the stubborn locker. I scoffed, "Trust me, I've got enough scars already," giving Charlie a quick glance as he continued his battle with the uncooperative locker.

"You know we're going to be late for class, right?" I reminded him, checking the clock across the hall.

He grimaced, "Don't worry, I almost got it—" Suddenly, a loud ripping sound filled the air, and he gasped, eyes widening.

"Clearly, you don't," I teased, nudging him aside to take matters into my own hands.

Grabbing the books, I tugged gently, finally loosening them. I couldn't help but smile, saying, "See, it's all about the touch—"

"Hey," Nick Nelson's voice interrupted as he approached. Startled, I lost my grip, and all the books came crashing to the floor.

"Maybe it's not all about the touch," Charlie said sarcastically, and I could see annoyance written all over his face as he eyed the scattered books on the floor. Ignoring his comment, I crouched down to pick up the books, and Nick followed suit. As I nervously gathered the books, I cursed at myself, wondering why I was suddenly so nervous.

Standing up, I finally looked at him, and he gave me a soft smile. Quickly grabbing the books from him, I didn't want him to notice how sweaty my hands had gotten in the last ten seconds.

"Thanks," I said, smiling back. He looked down at my hands and quirked a brow, "You play the drums?"

I shook my head, "These are actually Charlie's drumsticks. I'm more into photography, actually," cringing internally at why that piece of information was necessary.

"Nevertheless, that's really cool," he said with genuine excitement in his eyes. My smile grew wider; it was the first time someone had complimented my love for photography. My stomach felt like it was doing somersaults again, and I didn't quite understand what this boy was doing to me.

Charlie cleared his throat. "We have class, so…" he intervened. I looked back at him, giving him a 'now you want to go to class?' look, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

Nick got the point "Oh right, sorry I had something I wanted to ask you...Do you think that maybe you can be our equipment manager?" he said looking at me hopefully but a look with uncertainty.

"I also think that you should join the Rugby team to, we have enough for the team but were not allowed to actually play against other teams without a reserve," Nick explained to Charlie, he continued "And I saw you run in PE and you're, like, really fast." he confessed.

Turning back to me, looking down at my knee worried etched into to his face. Making me remember all over again how I fell flat on my ass right in front of him, I swear I can feel my face getting hot. "So...I thought you might be interested." he finished.

Me staring agape at him not really knowing what to say, Charlie speaking up "I don't know how to play,"

"I can teach you how to play if that makes you feel any better?" Nick offered looking at me for my response.

Feeling a little hesitant, I joined in, "And I have no experience as an equipment manager."

"You just have to make sure that you have enough equipment for the game when the time comes," he reassured me. Still not feeling good about it, he could sense the unease in my eyes.

"There's only a good number of guys on the team, so I am sure it won't be too difficult for you,"

Crossing my arms, I replied, "I am sure I will be able to handle it; it shouldn't be that difficult."

"Wait, no. no," Nick said, shaking his head, clearly regretting his words.

I smiled, breaking the tension. Sensing my sarcasm, we both broke into laughter. I don't know why I like messing with him from time to time.

"Um… so, do you want to join?"

I might be over my head; I never get cold feet, but this was definitely out of my element. The idea of becoming the equipment manager for the rugby team and possibly joining them felt like I had stepped into uncharted territory. It's not that I wasn't up for a challenge, but sports and managing equipment weren't exactly my forte. Maybe I should have offered to take pictures for the yearbook or something.

Regret started to seep in as I made my way toward the locker room, spotting just outside of the door. "Charlie, why are you-" I stopped mid-sentence when I heard voices behind the door.

"He's, like, well skinny though."

"Can he even play?"

"I am sure he's a nice guy, but we actually want to be decent."

"Does he even like sports? Everyone knows that he is gay."

Glancing at Charlie, the look of absolute despair on his face mirrored the flood of laughter that filled my ears.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I interrupted, pushing through the door. The group fell silent, their laughter trailing off as they turned to face me. The tension in the air was palpable. The distinct aroma of sweat and feet hung in the air, making me scrunch my nose. "Did a cat catch your tongue, or is this the first time you've seen a girl before?" I snapped, the sarcasm dripping from every word.

The silence was deafening, and I caught a little smirk on Nick's face as he tried to hide it.

Charlie, not knowing what else to do, just said, "Hi."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

Watching the boys tackle each other on the field made me wince inside. I forgot how physical and intense rugby could be, and judging by Charlie's expression, he was probably having second thoughts about joining the team. Coach Singh had filled me in on my duties as the equipment manager, and it seemed I was essentially the team's maid. Cleaning uniforms before practice, ensuring gear was in good condition, and tidying up the storage room were all part of my newfound responsibilities. The glamorous life of an equipment manager.

"I am definitely too weak for this," Charlie muttered under his breath.

"Well, I'm sure it's not that bad. You just run and tackle, right?" I said, attempting to uplift the mood, though I was probably talking straight out of my ass.

"Y/N is exactly right. Where is your 'can-do' attitude?" Nick chimed in, coming into full view. My eyes widened as I took in the sight of him in his rugby gear. His athleticism stood out, creating a whole different demeanor that I am not used to. The lopsided smile appeared on his face, and all my coherent thoughts seemed to vanish away.

"She left. Long ago," Charlie retaliated, not budging for a second, trying to encourage him.

"I am sure that you can do it" I said giving him a nudged earning me a glare.

"Y/N why don't you just tackling me so you can give Charlie an example," Nick suggested like it was most wonderful thing in the world.

My jaw dropped, I can hear Charlie chuckling in the background, "Absolutely not!" I exclaimed shaking my head.

"Just try. Tackle me, I won't dodge. I promise," he said getting into position. "I will go easy on you,"

My jaw ticked. Oh, he definitely doesn't have to go easy on me. I was more than capable. "I won't hold back," I stated, and Charlie caught a glance of my determined face, kindly taking a step back.

"Come on, I bet you can do it," Nick persisted, giving me a challenging smile. The field seemed to narrow down to just the two of us, the anticipation building with every step I took. With a deep breath, I charged toward Nick, focusing solely on making a solid tackle.

His body felt like a solid rock beneath me as I pinned him down, the satisfying thud echoing across the field. I couldn't help but grin. "Was that good?" I panted, catching my breath.

"That was perfect," he replied, his surprise evident as he swiftly got back on his feet. The rugby team, observing from the sidelines, exchanged weird glances.

"Was it really?" I asked, a surge of excitement coursing through me.

"Yeah, it was actually pretty impressive," Nick admitted, his eyes reflecting a mix of surprise and amusement.

"Now, let's try again while I'm actually moving," he suggested, his infectious smile revealing he was relishing the challenge.

"Don't you think it's Charlie's turn to practice?" I playfully suggested, glancing at Charlie, whose grin mirrored my own. Nick erupted into laughter, and the sound reverberated through the air, welcoming that fuzzy feeling again.

As he laughed, Nick's whole vibe shifted, and I could swear I saw glimpses of that rumored golden retriever in him. The warmth in his eyes and the sheer joy of the moment made me oddly glad that I had stepped in for Charlie.

It was in that moment, as Nick's laughter filled the air and the warmth of his gaze lingered on me, that a subtle warmth crept into my face. In the midst of all the fun, something inside me was starting to spark, even if I didn't fully realize it at the time.

The days melted together, leaving me with moments I'll definitely try not to forget. It's funny, from the intense tackling drills to scrubbing jerseys, I somehow became this part of the rugby world. Like, way more involved than I'd openly admit.

And then there's Nick. His smile? Always there. Every laugh we shared felt like this tiny step closer to... well, I wasn't quite sure. But it was something. The sun would set, casting this warm glow over the field, I would snap a few pictures here and there some with just the boys acting complete idiots or some with just...Nick.

Between the banter and the constant thud of rugby boots, Nick and I found these quiet corners where we'd talk about more than just the game. He'd patiently explain the ins and outs of rugby, which I'd sometimes compared to a mix of American football and soccer. Let's just say he wasn't exactly thrilled about that.

I hung around until all the guys had left the locker room, finally giving me the chance to grab my book bag. Coach Singh had made it crystal clear that I should steer clear when the guys are changing or in the locker room. It doesn't bother me much, but it's clear that some of the guys aren't thrilled about having me as the equipment manager.

Exiting the locker room, I caught sight of Nick lingering by the exit. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be gone by now?" I asked, trying to sound casual, but I couldn't help stealing a quick glance at him. I have noticed I have been doing that a lot lately.

He sighed "My mum is running late, actually. Are you going to be heading home by yourself," he asked looking around noticing no one is with me.

"Me and Charlie usually walk home together," I said lowly noticing that he is not even outside, Nick noticing my confusion he looked even more confused "I just saw Charlie leave a couple minutes ago? Do you need a ride I can always ask my mum," he offered his voiced laced with concerned already pulling out his phone.

I waved him off "Please, there is no need, I am fine with walking," you explained.

"I can't have you walking by yourself, it's almost getting dark," he explained already texting his mom.

Grabbing hold of his arm, I tried to stop him from texting. "Absolutely not! You're not winning this time!" he shouted, struggling to break free from my grip. He held his phone up high, just out of my reach, and for a split second, I saw his thumb brush the send button.

A triumphant smile broke out on his face, and my chest deflated. "I can't believe you did that," I sighed.

"You'll thank me later. You would've gotten frostbite by the time you got home," he argued.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I retorted, "I can handle the cold just fine, thank you very much," hugging myself tighter to conserve warmth.

He clearly didn't believe me, but I couldn't care less. "You know, you've got a pretty strong grip there," he remarked, wincing a bit on the arm that I had grabbed.

"I did say I wouldn't hold back that day, and I meant it," I replied with a proud smile.

"Are you sure you don't want me on the team officially? You could be a pretty good asset," he teased, well aware that it wasn't possible, and truth be told, I didn't want to join.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm sure the guys on the team would despise me even more," I confessed, lacing my words with sarcasm.

"Huh, what are you talking about? None of the guys think that" he asserted.

I chuckled. "Please, don't think I haven't noticed the things they say behind my back. Especially Charlie! That Harry guy really has some nerve-"

"Well, they can simply piss off then. You don't owe them anything. I don't know why they can be such dicks sometimes," he huffed, frustration darkening his eyes, his jaw tightly clenched. I began to realize that I had never seen him angry or upset before. Curiosity getting the better of me, I asked,

"Why did you even ask me to join anyway?" holding my arms closer to my chest.

"Well, I kind of noticed how sad you were about the whole Film club being shut down, so I thought this would help," he said lowly, scratching the back of his head.

A small speck of warmth started to fill my chest; my stomach started to get all fuzzy again. Did he care that much? I tried not smile from ear to ear covering it with a cough.

"We should get out, we'll get locked in if we stay here much longer,"

Walking out the school, I finally noticed how the seasons has changed, looking upon the trees noticing how the leaves have changed at such short amount of time. Reminding me that it's going to get even colder as the days go on.

A sleek black car idled on the school's side, and as I approached, an unexpected wave of nervousness hit me. The realization that I was about to catch a ride with the most popular guy in school, and more importantly, with his mom, made my palms slightly sweaty.

Nick graciously opened the car door for me, and with a mumbled 'thank you,' I settled into the back seat. An inviting blend of subtle vanilla, smoke, and musk lingered in the air. The warmth enveloped me, a clear sign that the heater was working overtime, prompting a sigh of relief as I sank into the seat, finding an unexpected sense of relaxation.

As the car hummed to life, Nick's mom, turned around with a friendly smile that illuminated the interior. Her hazel brown eyes seemed to effortlessly match Nick's, and the smile lines etched around her eyes added a touch of genuine warmth. He clearly inherited more than just looks from his mom.

"Oh, thank you so much for giving me a ride Ms. Nelson,"

"Oh, it is certainly not a problem. I can't have you walking home by yourself. Feel free to call me Sarah," she beamed, her gaze meeting mine through the rearview mirror. I wasn't about to call a full-grown adult by their first name; my mom would kill me for that.

Nick quickly got in car buckling his seatbelt, I can tell he's nervous just by his posture, I have never seen him sit that straight in my life.

"Where do you live dear?" she said, driving out of the school in the street.

"Its 5693 Railway Drive, it's called the Avalone Suites," I said hesitantly, I am still struggling to remember my street name.

"You accent is just adorable, I rarely get to hear it unless I am watching TV," she commented.

I smiled, appreciating the compliment, it better than getting gawked at from just speaking.

As we drove through the familiar streets, Sarah turned to me with a warm smile. "So, Y/N, how's everything at school? Making friends? Nicky has been telling about you being the equipment manager for the team."

Nicky

Nick flamed up like a Christmas tree, he looked utterly embarrassed. Sarah looked at him oddly for a brief moment. I tried to surpass a laugh. Has he really been talking about me to his mom?

I nodded, feeling at ease with her friendly demeanor. "Yeah, it's going well. I'm getting to know people, especially with the rugby team. They're an interesting bunch."

Nick chuckled from the front seat, "Yeah, they are something. But Y/N's been a great addition, though."

I blushed a bit, if I get anymore compliments today, I think I might just overheat. Sarah joined in, "That's wonderful to hear. Nicky always been social, but it's nice to see him meeting new friends."

With a glance at Nick, I added, "Yeah, he's been a great friend, too. Really made me feel welcome on the team."

Nick, looking briefly at me, gave a small, appreciative smile. Sarah, noticing the exchange, smiled knowingly. It was silence throughout the ride until we pulled at my house.

Getting out of the car being welcomed back into the cold air I made sure to thank Nick's mom and giving Nick a grateful smile "Thank you so much for the ride, I really appreciate it,"

Sarah waved me off with a warm smile. "Oh, love, it was the least I could do. Anytime you need a lift, just let me know."

Grateful for the ride, I said, "Thanks, Ms. Nelson. I'll remember that." With a friendly smile, I walked into the house, and the smile just wouldn't fade.

Mom, still in her work clothes and seemingly ready to start dinner, peeked through the doorway. "Back so soon? What's making you smile like that?"

I shook my head, "Oh, nothing much. Just got a ride from a friend." I kept it short; no need to spill all the details, especially about getting a ride from a boy and his mom. That might lead to more questions than I was ready to answer.

My mom shot me a suspicious look before pointing at my shoes. "Make sure to take your shoes off; I just mopped the floors," she ordered, retreating back into the kitchen. I quickly kicked off my shoes and headed to my room, feeling the relief of finally being in my own space.

As I opened my phone, I shot a text to Charlie to make sure he got home okay. Ignoring the stack of homework on my desk, I decided to scroll through Instagram. The usual suggestions of people I barely knew filled the screen, but out of the corner of my eye, I caught Nick's profile popping up.

My finger hesitated over the screen, stuck in that classic "to click or not to click" dilemma. After a brief mental battle, I thought, "Ah, screw it," and tapped on his profile.

Surprise hit me when I saw he was already following me. His profile was like a window into his life, and I found myself scrolling through the mix of photos and posts. My fingers moved across the screen, unsure of where to start.

I groaned at my own indecisiveness. Thinking for a moment, I decided to send a text, pondering over what to say. I hesitated over each word, the cursor blinking impatiently on my screen. "Come on, Y/N, get it together," I muttered under my breath, my fingers hovering over the keys.

I typed in a simple 'Thank you' and sent it, blinking twice at the text, realizing that I accidentally included a heart emoji. I could have sent a smiley face or something but for god sakes not the heart emoji. Fucking autocorrect.

Checking to see if Charlie texted back yet, but all he did was leave me on read.

Part 5: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/742105652967669760/the-weekend-flew-by-and-before-i-knew-it-monday?source=share

#nick nelson x y/n #nick nelson x reader #nick nelson x fem!reader #nick nelson x blackreader #nick nelson fanfic #kit connor #heartstopper #charlie spring #black!fem!reader #black reader #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper fandom #heartstopper fanfic

[piratekane]

Has anyone asked for a 10 and 18 combo yet? 👀

not yet they haven't. so here you go.

ten: don't scare me like that eighteen: i can't lose you

Beatrice doesn't see Ava go down; she feels it.

One moment, there's a heat at her back that's so familiar - from the nights they spent back-to-back in their bed, from the days they trained back-to-back in the forests surrounding the Alps - and the next, there's an emptiness. Someone drives their fist at her. She catches it, turns his wrist over until it nearly snaps, then drives her foot into the center of his chest. His whole body deflates and he sinks to the ground.

She spins, clear eyes scanning the field. This was a routine retrieval - a grab-and-go, Ava had called it, and then suggested they go-and-grab something to eat after with a rakish grin. But between reconnaissance and arrival, the facility had obtained more guards, more security measures.

Ava had stayed at her back, sticking close. Beatrice noticed she had a tendency to do that, now that she's returned. They're hardly apart anymore; Ava is always a half of a step behind her or a half of a step ahead of her. Every time Beatrice turned to look at Ava, Ava was already looking back at her.

The attention was intoxicating. She's never been the center of someone's world before.

But Ava moves away and goes down and the emptiness Bea felt for months surges forward, nearly choking her. She spins again but things are moving too quickly, too many men, and she can't see Ava immediately.

Taking a deep breath, she centers herself. Her eyes close and she exhales. Ava is... there. This is new, too. This almost supernatural awareness of where Ava is, when she is out of reach. Beatrice focuses all her energy on that now, eyes opening just an stun baton swings down towards her. She kicks out, foot catching the man's knee and pushing it out unnaturally, eyes ahead.

Another man, another stun baton raised above his head. He's standing over Ava this time. Beatrice flicks her wrist and a throwing knife embeds itself in his arm, the baton dropping uselessly to the ground.

She follows, her body its own knife, and kicks him to his knees, jabbing two fingers into his throat. His hands goes up around it, choking out a cough, before she shoves him over. He starts to squirm away and she lets him, eyes only on Ava.

No, no, no. Ava lays there, unmoving. Beatrice drops to her knees. Her heart is pounding in her chest, beating out Ava's name over and over again. She feels for a fluttering pulse but her hands can't find the staticky rhythm of it. No, no.

Heaven took Ava once before; it's not going to get her back. Not when Beatrice is going to hold on until her fingers break.

The Halo. The Halo hasn't activated, hasn't kicked in yet. Ava said it was being - God, what did she say? Beatrice racks her mind for it. A fickle bitch. She nearly crosses herself. It had been finicky, picky about when it wanted to work. A paper cut hadn't healed all the way, leaving behind a small sliver of a cut, but the long slice down Ava's calf after she backed herself into a throwing knife was gone in a breath.

If it fails Ava now...

Beatrice takes a shaky breath and touches the Halo like she always has, presses two fingers against the top of the perfect circle, and exhales. She thinks of Ava's smile when she steals the last piece of bacon at breakfast. She thinks of Ava's laugh behind the cover of the book, Go The Fuck To Sleep. She thinks of Ava's hand sliding along her arm as she convinces Beatrice to stay in bed just a little longer. She thinks of Ava's body, warm and sleepy and pressed to her back, palm flat against her stomach as she snores gently in her ear.

She thinks - God, don't do this again and puts her fingers to the relic buried in Ava's back, believing in Ava, the highest power she knows of.

A burst of warm, golden light explodes around them. It blinds her, leaves stars in her eyes as she tries to blink her vision back into focus. She looks around when it does - bodies, strewn out along the floor in all positions; Camila and Lilith and Dora all standing with their arms over their eyes, crouched down in defense.

Ava groans under her hands. "That's one hell of a wake up call." She rolls over, body half propped up by Beatrice's knees. Her eyes flutter open and closed. "I felt that, like, all the way down to my toes. That was even better than that thing you did when you-"

"Ava," she chokes.

Ava's eyes open fully. "That thing was really good. You can't tell me it didn't completely rock your-"

"Don't scare me like that." Beatrice blinks back the tears that try to come now. "I can't-"

Ava softens, but her smile is still crooked. "Top 5 moments, for sure. Right after the time I- Hey. Hey, don't cry."

Beatrice doesn't know she is. But then Ava's hand reaches up, fingers still a little shaky and she brushes a few of them off the bottom of Beatrice's chin.

"I don't know how many times I can tell you, I can't lose you." Beatrice has to fight to get the words out, her throat closing at the idea. "You can't put me through that again."

Ava tuts but she can see the fear in Ava's eyes, the uncertainty. "Next time, I'll make sure to take your feelings into consideration."

Beatrice nods, not trusting the quiver in her voice. She runs her hand through Ava's hair, feeling a small cut fade away under her fingertips. She breathes in slowly, centering herself again. The mission means nothing to her now; they could leave and she would never care if they found what they came for. She came in with Ava and her only priority is to leave with her.

"But seriously?" Ava groans again and sits up, letting Beatrice hold onto her. "I feel like a car that's just been hotwired. It has never done that before." She turns Beatrice's hand over in hers. "What did you do?"

"I just... touched it." Beatrice frowns.

"I've always said you have the magic touch." Ava looks up as the other approach. "Lilith, don't I always say that Bea has the magic touch?"

Lilith rolls her eyes, ignoring Ava's question.

Ava leans a little heavier into Beatrice's side. "I vote Lilith goes alone the rest of the way. I definitely want to wait in the car." She lets Beatrice slide an arm under hers, standing her slowly. "Bea, we can - stop crying."

"I'm not." She is.

Ava rests her forehead in the juncture of Beatrice's neck, right where her collarbone dips in. She feels Ava breathe more than she hears it. "I'm not kidding about waiting in the car," she murmurs. "And if you want to leave an adult in charge, Dora is right there."

She hears Lilith huff, hears Dora's shoulders straighten in purpose, hears Camila laugh softly, but the sounds are drowned out by the small press of Ava's lips to the space under her chin and the squeeze of Ava's hand over hers.

They'll have time later, to figure out what happened with the Halo. They'll visit Jillian and there will be tests to run, numbers to crunch, exercises to try. Ava will hate every minute and Beatrice will have to convince her to just go along with it, make a few promises Ava will undoubtedly hold onto.

"What about tacos?" Ava asks. She grins when Beatrice gives her a withering glance. "I could settle for pancakes, if I had to."

"Ava," she chastises.

"Fine." Ava says it like it pains her. "We'll get those fancy salads you like and I'll get mine with steak, hold the lettuce. Does that satisfy Her Majesty?"

Beatrice doesn't bother with an answer, putting one foot in front of the other with Ava wrapped around her and telling herself that Ava is going to stay at her back always - even if that means she needs to tie them together for the rest of Ava's lives.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #okay i am so sorry it took so long #i had such a productive start to covid and now i am helpless #i hope this is okay because i really just don't know #i fought with spellcheck over the word 'jumpstarted' and we argued for so long that i just scrapped the whole sentence - editing baybee

[sterekchub]

Derek works as a trainer at an aquatic amusement park. The whales are rubbing off on him.

I’m picturing a park stuck in the 80s. The local aquatic park that should have been closed 10 years ago, and back in its glory days was overflowing with guests. And now it sits luckily to see 100 guests a day, with 80s lighting and fake plastic plants around the walkways, with the dolphin tanks empty.

Stiles is an environmental activist who comes by on weekends- their busiest days, to protest. The staff all know him by name.

Including Derek, nephew of the owner and reluctant whale “trainer”. He has no experience or education on animals other than having worked in the park since he was young. They do the best they can, but failing attendance means falling revenue, and they cut corners where they can. It also means their one orca whale left in captivity isn’t going to have a tank mate anytime soon.

But the whale shows are still one of their few draws. So three times a day on weekends, Derek pulls on his 80s wetsuit and stands by the tank throwing fish into the water for the orca to catch, and lecturing the crowd about whale facts that he could recite in his sleep.

Stiles was at his latest show, which was usual: he had always protested from outside their gates and Peter had made it pretty clear not to allow him further in.

“I thought you didn’t want to support this place?”

Stiles grins. “Who said I bought a ticket?”

“I could have you arrested. You better not be here to vandalize anything.”

“Maybe I just had questions about whales.”

Derek snorted. If not wasn’t on his prewritten script, he didn’t know it.

“You know they do better in packs, right?”

“She was a rescue and her 2 packmates died.”

“So why keep her here?”

“We are a business,” Derek sighed. “We have to make money and whale shows are the only thing that bring people in. No money, no animal care or rescue. All our animals get the best medical care and treatment.”

“That you can afford.”

Derek walked away. Stiles didn’t follow him. That night, he dreamed he was in the middle of the ocean, alone with no one around. Tired of swimming, he decided to open his mouth, but instead of drowning he found himself filling up with water like an expanding water balloon.

***

Stiles started making a habit of coming to each of his shows. And every night after, Derek would have strange dream.

“Did you know male orcas weigh about 5 tons?”

“Rosie is a female.”

A disconcerting grin. “I know.”

That night Derek dreams his wet suit is stuck during one of his shows. He tugs and pulls and when it does finally come lose, waves of blubber come spilling out. It takes him a few minutes to realize that it’s all *him*- a belly that hangs to his knees, moobs sagging down on top it, and love handles and side rolls that seem to stack on top of each other endlessly….

***

“Some orcas eat 500lbs a day.”

“She only eats 200-300 pounds.”

“Maybe you don’t feed her enough.”

“Maybe you should work here,” Derek shot back, “since you seem to know everything.”

That night he was walking up to Rosie’s tank…except instead of seeing her, or seeing any water at all, the tank enclosure was filled with nothing but comically large foods . Derek found himself climbing up the ladder and throwing himself in, landing on top of a burger bun, which cushioned his fall….

***

“Orcas have been known to eat seals or even penguins.”

“We don’t feed her penguins. Or seals.”

“Why not?”

“Go home, Stiles.”

He can’t seem to get out of his dream. He’s in bed, and when he goes to move he finds he just…can’t. Feels heavy and weighed down and even his arms don’t seem to want to move. He opens his eyes and all he sees is a flesh colored mountain obscuring his view, pushing up against his chins, making it hard to breathe..::he wakes up gasping for air and is late to work in the morning.

****

Two weeks after Stiles first visits into the park, Derek comes into work to see a crane over the orca tank.

Peter looks less upset than Derek thought he would be losing the star of their park.

“Could try and get dolphins back.”

Peter shakes his head. “I’ve been having some words with that activist and….I must say he has some compelling ideas.”

“An animal free aquarium doesn’t bring in customers!”

“Don’t worry, nephew. This is a first of its kind idea….”

****

Derek wakes up that night to a bag over his head and someone binding his hands and dragging him out of bed.

***

A year later, a brand new sign is added to entrance to the whale stadium and tank. “Opening Next Month: Hale the Human Whale!”

Stiles sits in Derek’s old wetsuit by the feeding pen, where Derek is sitting in shallow water, no more than six feet, cheeks swollen and mouth closed around a feeding pump. Stiles checks the tank, remarking “good job, Der! Only 50,000 calories left” before jumping into the water and starting to massage and oil Derek’s mounds of blubber to try and reduce the new collection of stretchmarks that seemed to appear overnight.

After months and months of being pumped full of high-calorie slop, Derek stopped protesting. He was just a ideal whale. It had been so long since he had been able to move let alone walk, and now he could roll over and float around in this shallow tank.

When the feeding tank was finally empty, Derek rolled over and let his food swollen belly hang down, the sheer weight and pressure of the nearly half ton ball of lard take off his back. Belly rumbling, he opened his mouth and let out a long, deep belch.

Stiles laughed. “Sorry, I don’t speak whale…and now you’re fed, time to train!”

Derek was too full to care about how humiliating it was to roll over and do tricks command. He liked food. He needed more food to keep him pleasurably full and aching and increasingly heavier and heavier.

Stiles held a bucket of shrimp and said “roll!” Derek obliged, the movement causing his stuffed gut to protest and another rumbling burp escaped.

“Speak!”

“Want….more.” Derek grunted. Stiles tossed him the entire bucket and he finished it in a matter of seconds. After a few more minutes of lazily bobbing around in the water, Stiles pushed him back towards his feeding tube.

“Eat up. Show opens in a month and you need to be at least a ton by then… can’t have people thinking we don’t feed our animals!”

Derek was too busy eating to hear him.

[love-islike-abomb]

Scream with me

Roman reigns x Y/n

Warnings: pent up frustration I've been feeling the last few weeks has me beyond fed up so I turned it into what I do best a fic... And a comfort fic at that! Sometimes when Im frustrated this is a song I listen to because one of the lyrics in the song is "stand in the corner and scream with me!" You'd be surprised at just how much letting out a deep scream helps!! Errors I may have missed.

Tag list: @reignsangel444 @acknowledge-reigns @marchm-langdon @mandeelemons @@noisywwerawiconssoul @niknakbucks92 @pittieprincess22 @queengreenarrowmia89 @shadyprincesslife @thesamoanqueen @vintage-pvssy @weirdgirl16355 @windhamsrotunda

______

Why can't people just leave others alone and let them enjoy themselves? Why is it so hard to live your life and let others live theirs? People are cruel evil monsters at times and I would rather be surrounded by animals then people and my husband knew that so him coming home finding me having buried myself underneath our 3 dogs he wasn't surprised. What he was surprised about was the tears that had been pouring out of my eyes. Most the time dog piles helped dry my tears but not this time.

"babygirl what's wrong? Talk to me" he said trying to get me to open up but all I could do was stare off into space. He suddenly ordered our dogs off me "anubis, atlas, Apollo off!" He said, his voice deep yet commanding. they all got off me and went to their beds "sweetheart please tell me what happened! You know I hate seeing you cry" he said still trying to get me to talk. "Why is it that whenever I come up with something creative people have to constantly use my shit? I mean like if I had some that to them they would have thrown a hissy fit 10 miles wide! But they do it to me and I'm supposed to act like it's no big deal?!"

He knew I was pissed. My face still had tear stains but the anger was showing now "and some psycho cow says I'm delusional yet she thinks she did nothing wrong and her ass knows damn well she's a fucking liar! I will post that shit all over the internet if I have to! I give no fucks!! Or that bitch that used ohnmacht and put a 🔥 next to it and her dumbass not realizing you speak Czeck! In German ohnmacht means faint but I'm czeck it means power of fire which explains the 🔥!! Or how about that one bitch who knew I had a choking kink and posted a picture of you grabbing the ref by the collar of his shirt saying 'i'm just trying to make you know who jealous that's all' but im just supposed to act like none of this happened and those bitches can do whatever the fuck they want but if I do it to them and call them out suddenly im the bad guy? Fuck this shit!!! I'm done holding my tongue with this shit and I'm letting it all out!! I don't give a fuck anymore!! And if this is what it takes to show people I've had enough so be it!! I bet they won't bully me anymore!! And I'm sure they fucking remember but will pretend they don't!!" I said starting to yell and I could feel my heart starting to pound harder.

He let go of me and walked to our TV that had a Built in Bluetooth and my phone automatically connected to it "play the song you always play when you're angry" he said. I grabbed my phone knowing instantly which one he was talking about the opening chords hit and as soon as they did i felt my body relax. "Ever feel like dying, ever feel alone..." The rest of the verse played but I was waiting for the chorus and when it came I let lose "stand in the corner and scream with me!! A body full of empty!! A head thats full of rage but i believe it!!" The screaming of the words along with the unbridled rage has released an adrenaline rush i'd never felt before. My heart was beating so hard I had to sit down. He stopped the music and I looked at him "baby are you ok?" He asked rubbing the side of my face, moving my hair out of my eyes. I smiled up at him. "I had a massive adrenaline rush and I feel soooooo much better!!"

He smiled back at me "good I'm glad! But please don't ever let it get that bad again. Promise me you'll talk to me next time!"

"I promise" I said "I love you"

He leaned down and kissed my forehead before moving to my lips "I love you to!"

#roman reigns #big daddy uce #the only daddy☝️😩🫦 #roman reigns fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #roman reigns x y/n #wwe x yn #wwe angst #wwe fluff #roman reigns angst #roman reigns fluff #wwe #Spotify

[munson-blurbs]

Just the Way You Are (Eddie x Fem!Reader)

Eddie’s girlfriend struggles with body image issues, but he can’t understand why.

Warnings: insecurities, mentions of weight, skipping meals, very brief allusion to sex, a lil angst but mostly fluff, Eddie, Reader, and the gang are in their 20s

WC: 1.1k

A/N: This is heavily based on my own experiences with body image issues and EDs. I never liked the trope of “partner fixes your insecurities,” so this isn’t wrapped up with a bow, but I think it’s pretty realistic.

“Hi, baby,” Eddie comes up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist. He places small, soft kisses to the back of your neck. “Work was so stressful. Wanna help me relax?”

You put down the pitcher of water you were midway through refilling and gently pull away from his touch. “Maybe later, Eds,” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice your discomfort.

“Dinner first?” he asks, reaching for one of the pamphlets on the fridge. “What are we feeling for Takeout Friday? I’m thinking...Chinese.”

“’M not hungry.” You try to sound casual, though you’ve never been good at lying to Eddie. There’s something about his beautiful brown eyes and sweet smile that makes you feel comfortable enough to bare your soul.

Luckily, he can’t see the guilty look on your face as he peruses the menu. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” you lie again. Well, half-lie; you technically don’t feel sick, but your skin hurts from where you’ve been pinching your stomach, upper arms, and thighs. You wish you could blame the magazine articles that flaunted headlines about losing 10 pounds in 3 days or the stick-thin models that graced the covers. Those didn’t help, but the real problem is inside your head.

You worked out consistently, mostly ate a healthy diet, but you hated your body. Even when people said you looked fit, or in-shape, or even thin, you still felt it wasn’t enough. You’d never look like a supermodel or the girls on TV.

Eddie catches on to the defeat in your voice and sets the paper down. “Talk to me.” He take your chin in his hand, tilting your head so you’re looking at him. You avert your eyes as quickly as you can.

“Nope,” he shakes his head, “you’re not getting out of this.” He scoops you up bridal style and sits on the couch with you in his lap. His fingers toy with your hair and you rest your cheek on his shoulder.

“‘S nothing,” you reply quietly. “Just don’t want dinner tonight.”

“Please be honest with me,” he murmurs, lips on your temple. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

The floodgates open, tears wetting your cheeks as your façade cracks and your vulnerability pours through. “I hate how I look,” you admit between sobs.

Eddie’s brows furrow in genuine confusion. “Wha...how?” he sputters. “Baby, you’re so beautiful...”

“I want to lose weight, I don’t like my stomach, my arms look huge, and my hips are too wide.” You could go on, spend hours listing your various imperfections, but you end there.

“Am I missing something?” he asks, thumb caressing your bicep. “Your body is perfect. Wasn’t Robin just asking you if she could go to the gym with you so you can show her your workout routine?”

“But I could be thinner,” you tell him. “I still have some fat that I could get rid of.” You fidget slightly, grabbing your stomach between two fingers and pulling at it. “Like right here.”

Eddie yanks your hand away and laces his fingers between yours, preventing you from pinching yourself again. “Don’t do that.”

“It’s gonna be there whether I do that or not,” you protest, trying to wriggle your hand out of his grip, but he’s too strong.

He sighs, and it looks like he’s blinking back tears of his own. “I don’t understand,” he starts. “When I look at you, I see the most stunning, sexy, gorgeous woman. I’d keep you in my bed all damn day if I could.” He gives you a small smirk. “How can I make you feel the same way?”

You brush a hand against his cheeks. “You could support me losing weight.” Your voice is barely audible.

“You’re going to hurt yourself if you lose weight,” he argues firmly. “You’d have to, like, starve yourself.” His face falls when you don’t even flinch, and he realizes that you’re not opposed to the idea. “Oh, no. No, that is not happening.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you stand up and head into the bedroom. You swear you can feel every fat cell in your body.

~

Eddie knows that this is beyond him; he’s way out of his element. So he goes to the experts. Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley sit in front of him, sipping on steaming cups of coffee. He relays the whole story to them as they consider their responses carefully.

“This is more than just some insecurities,” Nancy says finally. “I think she needs to talk to a professional about this.” Robin nods her head in agreement. 

“Like therapy?” Eddie wrinkles his nose. “Isn’t that for...?”

“Crazy people?” Robin fills in with a laugh. “No, therapy is for anyone who’s struggling with anything.” She lowers her voice slightly. “I went to a therapist after I came out to my family, and she really helped me accept myself, even without my parents’ approval.”

“Do you, uh, still have her number?” Eddie asks her. He feels some pressure lifted from his chest.

“I have her business card at home,” Robin tells him, reaching over the table to grab his hand. “You’re a great boyfriend, Munson.”

“I just wish I could fix it,” he mutters, “take away all the hate she has for herself, y’know?”

Nancy gives a small smile. “I know,” she says, “but being there for her, supporting her while she works through things...that means more than you realize.”

~

He’s nervous about presenting the idea of therapy to you, worried that you’ll be offended. But you don’t get upset; in fact, it feels like something clicks. Like there might possibly be a day when you aren’t repulsed by your appearance.

“And I’ll still be here to listen,” he rambles, parroting what he went over with his friends, “but I think it’ll be really good for you to have someone who can help you get to the root of this.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small beige card. “Robin recommended her; said she’s excellent.”

You cautiously take the business card, the ten digits daunting. You swallow your pride, your fear, and look into his doe eyes. “I’ll call right now,” you say, heading for the phone.

But before you can, Eddie takes your wrist and pulls you close, pressing a long, soft kiss to your lips. “I’m so proud of you, baby,” he murmurs. “I got you, every step of the way.”

And then he hugs you tight, intent on never letting go.

--

@waitalice @your-mom18-05

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfic #fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things

[literaryfandomangel]

The Promise - Chapter Nine

As I walked downstairs, Mom was waiting for me. She was lying on a chaise lounge with a mug of tea in her hands. I knew what was coming - Mom was ready to interrogate me about the four guys who brought me home. It made a blush rise in my cheeks, but I sat across from her. 

Mom pushed a cup of tea and a large blueberry muffin into my periphery. I took a sharp intake of breath, mentally calculating how many calories were in that muffin. It was an instinct to ensure that I didn’t eat anything potentially fattening. Lord knows I needed to lose about another 10 pounds. I calculated about 370 calories. The smell of the pastry was mouth-watering, but I couldn’t bring myself to indulge. 

“Last night?” Mom raised an eyebrow as she sat upright to give me her full attention. The blush on my cheeks was more prominent, and Mom gave me that impish smile. “They seemed to be a lovely bunch of guys.”

“Yeah,” I muttered, breaking off a piece of the muffin. I rolled it between my fingers as I thought about what to say. Mom was open - but I didn’t think admitting that I liked all four of them was something Mom would appreciate. 

“Do you like them, honey?” Mom looked at me, worried for a moment. It took me a moment to realize that Mom had no idea if they were forcing me to keep them company. 

“I think so,” I smiled. It felt for a moment like nothing had ever happened. That we were still in Phoenix, chatting about boys and school before our world went to shit. 

Mom and I used to spend our Saturday mornings going to the mall and chatting about life. We were so close in Phoenix before Dad started having an affair and Justin became abusive. Even while I was inpatient, Mom came every Saturday to talk to me, even if I refused to speak to her. 

“That’s good,” Mom hummed, sipping at her tea. “They seem different, but I like them.”

“They are different,” I grinned, reaching down with my hand while Mom’s attention was captured by something outside. Nanook’s tongue licked the pieces of muffin away. “People seem scared of them, but they’ve been kind and gentle with me.”

“I’ve missed this,” Mom confessed, leaning across the table. She laid one of her petite hands over the top of mine. “I missed your voice. I hope that these guys help you find your voice. Please don’t disappear on me?”

I blinked at the pain Mom was expressing. It encapsulated her voice, her eyes, her face. I felt guilt at how much pain I was causing Mom, the pain I had caused her. I felt the dam holding back the floodgate of secrets weaken. I wanted to tell her about everything Justin had done to me - why I didn’t want to talk anymore. Instead, I pinched off another bite of the muffin, waiting until she stood up to take her mug into the kitchen. 

I fed Nanook about a third of the muffin, breaking and pulling pieces to litter the plate. When Mom returned with a new, steaming cup of tea, her eyebrows knitted together at the mess. I stood up, taking the plate into the kitchen. I dumped the desiccated remains of the muffin into the trash as Mom sighed. 

“Love you,” I whispered into Mom’s ear as I passed, kissing her shorn locks. The worried look disappeared as I said the words I had avoided for too long. I gave Mom a small smile before grabbing my messenger bag. 

As I walked outside, I noticed the faded yellow paint of my bike; it was leaning against the toolshed. I smiled, knowing that they kept their promise. I walked to the paddock, sitting inside the horse enclosure to write. 

I got lost in the world I was creating. Not even the horses coming over to investigate this human intruder made my focus waiver. It wasn’t until Grandpa’s voice carried on the wind that I tore my concentration from my journal. 

“ARIA!” I heard Grandpa call. I snapped out of my reverie, realizing my hand ached from writing for so long. I looked at the sky to gauge the time, only to startle. The sky was darkening, meaning I had sat out here for hours. Grandpa walked over to the paddock. “Do you want to help me feed them?”

I scrambled to my feet, slipping my journal into the waistband of my jeans. I hurried to the stables, not wanting to miss helping Grandpa. He showed me how to mix the feed and how much to give each horse. I enjoyed the work, mixing the feed together. Then Grandpa took two buckets, instructing me to give mine to the chestnut. 

The chestnut was excited, whinnying as he realized I had his food. I opened the stall, only to be headbutted by a large mammal. I laughed, pushing his muzzle away from the bucket. I hung it on the wall, watching for a beat as the chestnut strode over, muscles rippling in the light. He started to eat, enjoying the feed. 

Once we were finished, I left the stables, looking up at the darkening sky. I hurried into the house, rushing up the stairs. I washed my face in the bathroom, debating the need for makeup. I decided against makeup and wedge sandals, instead sliding my feet into my worn boots. 

I did, however, dab a small amount of perfume onto my neck. I loved this perfume because it smelled like cotton candy, vanilla beans, and oranges. Once I was done, I grabbed my messenger bag, trying to stuff Dwayne’s jacket inside. The jacket was too bulky and oversized. After a moment’s hesitation, I slipped the jacket on. 

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The jacket hung off my tiny, emaciated frame, making me appear like a child playing dress up with my father’s punk outfit. I shook my head as I tried to make my fingers appear through the sleeves. I buried my face into the collar again before putting my bag over my shoulder. 

I left the house, getting onto the bicycle Paul, David, Marko, or Dwayne had returned for me. I started pedaling, making my way toward the Boardwalk. The leather jacket was warm, protecting me against the biting wind coming from the ocean. I almost didn’t want to return it, but I knew this was a prized possession of the group. When I arrived at the entrance, I locked the Schwinn into the rack, disappearing inside. 

The sun hadn’t set entirely yet, the rays sinking below the horizon. The sky was a myriad of colors, an artist’s canvas. I looked at their usual place but haven’t seen their motorcycles yet. I decided they would arrive later and wandered around. I was looking at all the niche shops lining the Boardwalk and the games. 

I thought that maybe I could talk one of the guys into winning me a few prizes as I watched the people lining up to play games. I figured that was more of a date activity, and we weren’t dating. I didn’t even know if the guys thought of me in a romantic light; probably not, I mused. I wrapped my arms tighter around my body as I got lost in my self-deprecating thoughts of not being pretty or good enough. 

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realize that I was walking past a group of drunks. They catcalled and wolf-whistled when I walked past. I tried to ignore them now that I realized the situation. But they continued to heckle me until they noticed what I was wearing. 

“You’re with those freaks? Wearing their jacket, huh?” One of the drunk guys called out. I ignored their comments, continuing to walk on the Boardwalk, but another guy cut me off. He stood in front of me, not allowing me passage. I backed away as they kept coming closer. Finally, my back hit the railing of the Boardwalk. 

Chapter Ten

#david tlb #emerson sister #the lost boys david #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys marko #the lost boys paul #fanfiction #david x reader #the lost boys x emerson sister #dwayne x reader #tw eating issues #tw disordered eating

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

uhhm….

hi?

im new here, but i was kinda looking for a fic that… doesn’t necessarily diverge from canon bu still builds the sterek relationship, if you get what i mean at all?

sorry if this is confusing, or has already been asked.

sorry.

Welcome!

one tiny little howl by Myulalie

(1/1 I 1,00O I General)

As the saying goes, wolves howl to communicate their location to other pack members. It makes Stiles wonder, because he doesn’t know how to answer in kind.

when the sky falls, you're my escape by thedoortomymind

(3/? I 3,338 I Not Rated)

Derek and Stiles find themselves and each other.

All Her Children by petals42_tumblr (rosepetals42)

(7/7 I 8,058 I Teen)

A series of fics about Melissa McCall's relationship with all her children.

Powerful (Why I got you on my mind?) by AireHaleinski

(1/1 I 14,217 I Mature)

The nightmare of the Nogitsune seems over for Stiles Stilinski and the pack, but peace is far from being a part of Beacon Hills’ life: Derek Hale, in fact, is about to experience the heartbreaking loss of his powers, that leaves him hopeless and sure of a tragic and upcoming death. Can the growing bond between two broken souls, fight forces otherwise invincible?

That Depends On How You Define Werewolf by janonny

(2/2 I 16,613 I Mature)

We’re all shapeshifters. It happens rarely, and it happens for a reason. Sometimes the shape you take reflects the person that you are. – Derek Hale, Season 2 Episode 5

“I didn’t shoot him if that’s what you’re worried about,” said Stiles’ dad. Then he smiled wryly. “Though I did push him against the wall and threaten to strangle him with my bare hands.”

Stiles gaped at his dad, because Derek…was Derek. And the Stilinski men weren’t exactly buff. They were built more slender and agile, though Stiles was still waiting for the agile part to kick in.

Blood Pounding in Our Veins by minusoneday

(10/10 I 41,305 I Mature)

Stiles figured that Mrs. McCall finding out Scott’s secret would change things, but he’s completely unprepared for the very first thing she does, which is to invite Isaac to move in with her and Scott.

 ***

In which Stiles is angry. For some very good reasons.

will to follow through by owlpostagain

(2/2 I 42,411 I Teen)

“It depends entirely on how you look at it, I guess,” Stiles shrugs. “On the one hand, instant healing and the apparently inherited ability to pull off leather at all times. On the other, serious attitude problems and a suspicious disappearance of eyebrows.”

“Even Derek’s?” Danny snorts, “that’s a lot of eyebrow to lose.”

“I know,” Stiles agrees. “You should see, it’s so weird. Every time I want to ask him where they go, except he’d totally eat my face off.”

“There are worse ways to die.”

Running Up That Hill by maypoison

(32/32 I 139,488 I Explicit)

“Even before the pack joined together, Scott was trying to protect you. And he still is trying to protect you, even if it means leaving you out of all this.”

Stiles does roll his eyes at that. “Yeah, but it didn’t work did it. I was still involved, and so was my Dad. We were nearly killed by Matt, and then Gerard.”

“My point is, people change. Relationships aren’t always perfect. Scott's tried to kill me before."

Stiles raises an eyebrow. "So, you’re saying that someone trying to kill you is just a small flaw in a relationship?"

“We’re werewolves.” Derek answers with a shrug, as if that was a perfectly good explanation.

Under the Wolf Moon by Pdxtrent

(41/41 I 105,563 I General)

Laura Hale has disappeared. But from there, things go very very differently. Expect adults acting like adults, and actual communication and not terrible decision making. Though it's still Beacon Hills, so you know things are going to be complicated.

************************************

He packed a bag as quickly as he could and grabbed his passport just in case. He looked around the apartment, glanced at his sister’s closed bedroom door and then walked out.

An hour later he was at the airport.

Two hours after that he was in the air.

Seven hours after that he was touching down in San Francisco.

Another hour and he was getting into the rental car that would take him to literally the last place on earth he ever wanted to return: Beacon Hills, California.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #canon compliant #pack dynamics

[adley-wl]

Water Fasting Journey

Age: 17

Height: 5'6

Starting Weight (SW) : 190.6 pounds

Current Weight (CW) : 170.8 pounds

Goal Weight 1 (GW1) : 157 pounds

Goal Weight 2 (GW2) : 140 pounds

Goal Weight 3 (GW3) : 130 pounds

Ultimate Goal Weight (GW3) : 110 pounds

Days Water Fasting: 3 Days (so far)

Preferred Weight Deadline for GW3 (not necessary)= 12/31/2023

Day 1 (October 31st):

Had no hunger pangs

Forgot to check weight at beginning of day

Only trick-or-treated for 10 minutes and picked up two pieces of candy. Gave both to my friend, said that I was allergic to nuts and caramel. (The candy I picked up was Reese's and Twix)

Day 2:

Had some hunger pangs, but were easy to ignore by chewing ice and drinking water.

Was indirectly told by a guy that he thinks I am fat, but that just motivated me to try even harder to lose weight. I want to prove him wrong and finally turn heads in hallways.

Went from 190.6 pounds to 185.4 pounds within a day!

Day 3:

Started my period, so my stomach was really hurting and I was almost about to give up and eat something, but I just got some diet coke and had ibuprofen.

Two of my friends noticed that I haven't been eating at lunch in school and they confronted me about it. I just told them that I keep forgetting to eat and that I was not hungry at that time. I also said that my mom has not put money in my lunch account (a lie), but then my friend offered me Cheezits, so I told her I was allergic to them.

Mom also realized that I have not been eating at home, and worried that I was developing an 3D. I gave the excuse that I am eating a lot of food at lunch in school and getting junk food from the vending machines (also a lie). So, now she thinks that I am just eating a lot of junk food, and hopefully she will believe me when I lie and tell her that I'm full. I also hope she doesn't try to offer food to me either.

Eating crushed ice tricked my brain into thinking I was eating since I was chewing on it, so I did not feel any hunger pangs.

I am starting to feel more tired and exhausted, but I'm pretty sure that it's just because of my period.

Went from 185.4 pounds to 181.8 pounds in a day!

Day 4:

At lunch, I went to get something from the vending machine with my friend (a diet coke which has 0 cal and 0 sugar) and when we were going back, some guys looked at me (my body) and starting laughing. I was wearing baggy clothes which made me look huge, but it hurt. It still motivated me though. Now, more than ever, I want to look so sickly thin that they will all regret ever making fun of me. I just want to feel beautiful.

I am starting to get slight dark under eyes, but I really don't care since it's giving heroin chic.

Two of my guy friends are actually starting to pay attention to me more and talk to me more. I don't know why since I still feel fat. Even though people have told me that I am pretty, I won't ever feel pretty until I am skinny.

Had one bottle of diet coke and one cup of water.

Went from 181.8 pounds to 178.6 pounds in a day!

Day 5:

Was at my part time job from 9:00am-4:30pm, and I walked around a lot. I work at a restaurant, but I barely had any cravings for the food today.

I did not have a break meal, and I just had two cups of diet coke instead. :))

Somebody asked me if I had lost weight!

Two of my friends at work asked me if I was feeling okay.

I work at the cash register, and people were a lot nicer to me than usual even though I was not wearing any makeup. Idk why though, because I still feel fat.

Did the viral Le Sseraffim workout and the Wonyoung workout!

Went from 178.6 pounds to 176.4 pounds in a day!

Day 7:

Forgot to update yesterday, sorry.

I decided to break my water fast today and just eat super low cal meals. I am planning to water fast every other week. So, this week (November 6th - November 12th), I won't water fast, but my meals will stay below 50 calories each. And then the next week (November 13th - November 19th), I will water fast again. And I will just repeat it over and over again until I reach my goal weight!

Went from 176.4 pounds to 173.4 pounds in two days!

Day 9:

I am really busy because of tests and everything, so I will only be updating every 2 days. Sorry.

I had a small binge of 500 cal yesterday and gained 2 pounds, but then I worked out for one and a half hours and burned it off.

Today, I only had some water, 5 calorie gum, and a vegetable pancake my grandma made which was 100 calories at most.

People are starting to notice that I am changing. My history teacher asked me if I was feeling okay. My friends keep telling me I look tired and that I have dark eyebags. For some reason, I love it. People are actually getting worried about me, and they are paying more attention to me.

When I was walking to the buses, a random guy in the hallway saw me and did double take and then started talking to me. His friend was next to him, and when I walked away, I heard him (the guy who talked to me) say "Bro she's so cute." And his friend said "Yeah but she looked so scared of you. She was scared." I didn't think I looked scared, but he was just really awkward so I might have looked like I was a bit concerned.

Went from 173.4 pounds to 175.4 pounds to 172.4 pounds in two days!

Day 17:

I am so sorry, I forgot to update, and I feel ashamed.

I binged a couple and almost gave up, but I regained focus, and am back towards my goal weight!

I'm fasting again, and have not eaten for three days!

My mom and grandma tried to get me to eat, but I just put some food on my plate and said I would eat later. Then, I threw the food away but left just a little and when they came downstairs later, I got up to put it in the sink. They said that they were glad I am finally eating.

My grandma made me pasta for lunch and gave me a bagel for breakfast, but I just packed the bagel to go and then threw it away in school. I also threw away the pasta, but I remembered to take a picture of both the plastic bag (with the bagel) and the pasta container before and after I had thrown it away. I then sent it to my grandma for proof that I ate (though I didn't). When I got home from school, I kinda snuck in some details about the pasta and said "Yeah the pasta was really good, I liked the marinara sauce and beans. Plus I like how its like a twisty pasta and not just spaghetti. Also, the bagel was good, but I am just allergic to nutella, so I had an allergic reaction." Basically, just remember the little details about the food that you are throwing away so that if anyone asks if you actually ate it, you can just spout those details.

Went from 172.4 pounds to 170.8 pounds in 8 days!

#pro a4a #ed bullshit #ed not ed sheeran #ed relapse #pro for me not for thee #skinnni #st4rv1ng #tw ana trigger #tw thinspi #ed not sheeren #pro @na #proannna #pro anna #proana #ed bllog #ed disorder #ed #tw ed diet #tw disordered eating #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #i wanna be weightless #weight loss #i wanna lose weight #i need to lose so much weight

[thisisthinprivilege]

Submitted anonymously

My mom is fat. I am fat. Disclosure, though, I'm a small fat, and my weight would be considered pretty average if I was taller. So I still have some privilege, since I fit into "straight" sizes and am only a bit overweight. 

Anyway, I've dealt with a lot of shit for being overweight, mostly from my also overweight mom. She is, I guess, a small fat too. She's short, too. But she can fit into seats and whatnot and is nowhere near enormous. Actually, she's pretty small in size. 

Well, my mother is absolutely mentally ill. She encourages starving yourself, talks about her bulimic and anorexic tendencies as a teenager as if it was no big deal, and when I tell her she had (has?) an eating disorder, she denies it. VEHEMENTLY. And she agrees that her relationship with food is unhealthy, but still denies her having an eating disorder. She hardly eats.

Well, I recently got into a huge fight with her because she said, and I quote, "I don't like fat people."

I got really angry and asked her why she hates fat people if she herself is overweight. And then I told her that I'm pretty big myself and that she was pretty much insulting me.

Then she starting talking about how all fat people are "fat pigs" and that they ALL eat too much, ALL don't exercise, etc. I asked her why she's overweight if she hardly eats, and she didn't respond. 

This is the same mom who constantly tells me if I lose weight I'll be liked more, have boys like me, look better in clothes, be prettier, be worth more, etc. A few years back I tried to starve myself, and when she found out, instead of being upset that I was potentially developing an eating disorder, she told me "if you're going to starve you need to eat at least ONE thing a day to get your nutrients."

LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK? She should have been telling me that I was beautiful and perfect the way I was, but instead she was telling me to basically starve save for one snack a day. She tells me people don't typically like fat people, etc, and then denies that she ever says anything to me about my weight when I bring it up to her.

When I was, like 10, FUCKING TEN, she told me I was fat, point-blank, to my face. I was only 90 pounds.

She constantly makes comments about my thick legs, and asks me if I want to look more like my skinny friends. When I say I don't care, she tells me that I actually do care. Because EVERYONE who's overweight just wants dreadfully to be thin, apparently. 

We had a HUGE fight, and I was crying and telling her she was indecent and shouldn't judge people based off of their bodies, and she spewed some bullshit about how people like to be around "healthy" people and not fat people. 

Every time she wants to make me want to lose weight, she tells me boys like skinny girls and I will finally "be noticed" once I lose weight. When I tell her I don't care about appeasing shallow fuckboys, she doesn't believe me and says that all teenage girls like boys and want boys to be all over them. Okay, lol. Sure. "If you ever want a boyfriend and want to have fun in high school, you need to lose weight. Sorry, but boys like skinny girls."

Hm. Okay. 

So, encourage me to have an eating disorder, insult me, tell me I'm not worth enough if I'm not thin. I really don't understand. She's overweight herself, and she's abusive to me. She was when I was very young too, but I didn't realize how unhealthy it was until recently. She hates that I'm a fat activist and thinks I'm going to get my "ass kicked" one day for supporting basic human decency. Hm. 

Thin privilege is not having ALREADY FAT PEOPLE reprimand you for your natural body type.

Thin privilege is not being insulted and abused by parents for their body.

#weight talk #fat discrimination #fat hate #fat hatred #fatphobia #diet culture #trigger warning

[zoeykallus]

Tech – Thank You For Loving Me 33 – The Deal

Tech x fem!Reader FF

Warnings: Tension/Angst

_________________

The situation is still tense, perhaps even more so than before, because Hondo has a proposal that none of you like, especially Tech.

_________________

What Happened Before:

1 Nervous Flutter

Part 2 - Help Me To Let Go

Part 3 - Asking For Advice

Part 4 - Devotion

Part 5 - The Explorer

Part 6 - You’re The Best

Part 7 - Experimental (½)

Part 8 - Experimental (2/2) - Not Fully Functional

Part 9 - Not Alone

Part 10 - Cared For

Part 11 - Don’t You Worry

Part 12 - A White Lie

Part 13 - Hope

Part 14 - Games To Play

Part 15 - Work Work Work

Part 16 - Trouble

Part 17 - In Loving Domination (½)

Part 18 - The Game Changer

Part 19 - Wild Animal

Part 20 - Embarrassing Vulnerabilities

Part 21 - Between Hangover And Love

Part 22 - The Future Ahead Of Us

Part 23 - About Making A Baby

Part 24 - It’s Going To Be Okay

Part 25 - Returning A Favor

Part 26 - Baby Fever

Part 27 - A New Life

Part 28 - Daddy Tech

Part 29 – Back Home

Part 30 - Pleasant And Unpleasant Surprises

Part 31 - I’m Gonna Be A Sniper!

Part 32 - Pirates

The Deal

You looked up at Tech, startled, and whispered his name in a panic. He gently squeezed your hand that he was still holding with some emphasis and whispered back, "She's with Crosshair, he knows what to do, don't worry." But he worried at least as much as you did. Hunter said somberly to the pirate, "You still haven't said what you want from us". Hondo turned back to him and stated lightly, "Well, you are well aware of the bounty that is on your heads." An icy cold shiver ran down your spine. But Hondo immediately raised his hands in a placating manner as his men drew their weapons because Wrecker was rising up threateningly. "Relax, I don't intend to turn you in, but I want you to do something for me, free of charge of course, my payment is that I don't turn you in. To make sure you really do what I ask you to do, Tech's wife and child will stay with me as long as you do the job". Tech growled and shoved you behind him, "Over my dead body!" "Careful son, that can be arranged" Hondo said with a small, dangerous smile. Tech's gaze wandered to Hunter, looking for help. "We're not going for that," the latter said seriously. Hondo nodded slowly and said, "Okay, we can shoot each other down here and now. You'll probably even win, but you'll definitely lose at least a man or two.... or even a woman before this is over. Or we do what I say and no one has to get hurt." You could see Hunter gritting his teeth, he took a quick glance at you and Tech, and at that moment you knew he was going to go for the deal. Your heart was pounding up to your throat. "No one is dying here," Hunter said, "But we need a guarantee that mother and daughter will remain unharmed and safe until we get back" "Hunter-", Tech begins protesting, but the sergeant interrupts him with a simple hand gesture. "Should either of them be injured or otherwise suffer discomfort, we will hunt you and your people to the ends of the galaxy, that much should be perfectly clear to you, Hondo," Hunter added. Hondo chuckled, "Of course, I can see you are all very protective of this little family. I guarantee they will stay safe and sound, I will personally keep an eye on them."

"Uncle Cross!" Crosshair hummed in reply, "Hmm?" "Look." Amy held a colorful bunch of wildflowers under his nose. "Very nice, you're doing fine, little bean". Amy complained, pouting, "You're not even looking". Crosshair sighed softly, he could see how tense the situation was down in the valley, even if he couldn't hear what was being said. He had seen the men find the playground, and he saw yours and Tech's body language. The Sniper had a feeling things were not good, his trigger finger, carefully, stroked his weapon a little uneasily. "I'm sorry Amy, but I need to focus, this is important, you know that". With a sigh, Amy plopped down on her butt next to him and looked at the flowers she had picked. When Crosshair's com that was on her wristband beeped and Hunter's voice sounded a moment later, she looked from her flowers to the wristband, startled. "Hi Uncle Hunter!" said Amy joyfully excited, "Can we come back to you now?" "Sweetheart, what are you doing with Crosshairs Com? Let me have a word with him" Crosshair frowned critically, lowered the gun, grabbed Amy's arm and released the com. "I'm here. What's going on?" He looked through the scope again as he spoke and saw Hunter standing at the bottom of the Marauder. Crosshair immediately noticed that the pirates had fanned out; he no longer had all of them in his field of fire. He gritted his teeth. "We've come to an agreement, but you'll have to come down here with Amy to do it." Crosshair hesitated before answering, "Are you sure?" "We have no other choice" "I don't like this," the Sniper growled. "None of us like it," Hunter returned dryly. Crosshair waited a moment longer, but the pirates probably already expected to be watched by him, they stayed fanned out.

" Bloody hell," Crosshair growled, "we're coming down. If one of them so much as looks at the girl the wrong way..." "There will be no shooting," Hunter said seriously. "Fine," Crosshair growled, "We're on our way."

Your heart was up to your neck when you saw Crosshair with Amy on his arm appearing among the trees near the Marauder. You wanted to run towards them, but Tech held you back. "Stay calm, no hasty movements, we don't want to make anyone nervous, we'll only endanger Amy by doing so," he said gently but firmly. It was hard for you to hold back, but you knew he was right. Hondo turned to the newcomers when they were within earshot. "Who do we have here? A little offspring clone?" Amy looked at him curiously but critically, then at her uncle. "Who's that?" she asked him quietly. "A pirate," Crosshair growled. "Not just any pirate," Hondo said, "I'm actually quite well known." Amy said, unimpressed, "Well, I don't know you." Hondo laughed, "You're a little too young for that" "I'm almost three" Amy said proudly holding up three of her little fingers. "Three? Pretty smart and talkative for a three-year-old. I guess that comes from your father's side," Hondo said, amused. He stepped closer, and you wanted to step in between again, but again Tech held you back, he knew you would act hastily and rashly if he let go of you now. "What is your name, my little one?" asked Hondo. "Amy," said your daughter softly. "Amy, hmm? That's a nice name." Turning to Crosshair, he said, "Put her down." The Sniper looked at him as if to impale the pirate with his gaze. Before he reacted, he looked questioningly at you and Tech.

Tech sighed softly, then nodded, barely noticeable. You felt that he was just as tense next to you as you were.

Crosshair lowered Amy to her small feet, but she immediately clung uneasily to his leg as Hondo approached. "You don't have to be afraid of me, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise," Hondo said surprisingly gently as he crouched down. "Pretty lady, why don't you join your daughter, I'm sure she won't be so scared," Hondo finally said in your direction. This time you didn't let Tech hold you back, you pried your hand out of his, whereupon he looked at you, startled. Tense, he watched you rush to Amy and Crosshair. You immediately took Amy in your arms and hugged her with relief. Amy immediately held the flowers under your nose, they were already a bit squashed, but the little girl still smiled proudly as she held them out to you. "Thank you my darling, they are beautiful" Hondo suddenly stood very close to you and grinned at both of you. "A beautiful picture" he said, "Mother and daughter. I'm sure we'll get along just fine" He was a strange fellow, but somehow you didn't get the feeling that he had any dishonest ulterior motives, apart from the blackmail.

Hunter explained the deal to Crosshair, who responded by spitting his toothpick into the dirt emphatically, angrily. "And you were okay with that?" he asked both Hunter and Tech, glancing back and forth between the two. "No, I wasn't, I still am not," Tech said tensely, "What if I don't get them back after we did what he wants from us?" "One of us should stay with them," Echo said seriously, frowning critically.

Wrecker, towering over them all, nodded seriously and said, “Let me stay, I'll keep them safe” Hunter sighed, "Depending on the task, we may need the whole team, we don't know what's coming yet" Rex who had been quietly in the background said, "Tech should stay with his family, I can take his place if you are short a man. Most of the things Tech would do, Echo can probably handle as well" Echo raised his scomp link in the air and said, "I may not be as sharp headed as Tech, but I'll get the job done. Rex is right." Hunter looked from one to the other, then over his shoulder to Hondo who was talking to you. "Hondo!" The pirate turned. "We'll do as you ask, but one of us will stay here with the girls." Hondo tilted his head slightly to the side and thought for a moment. "Let me guess, the family man doesn't want to leave his little family behind? Fine by me, but if he doesn't behave then-" Tech interrupted the pirate, "There is no need for threats, I will not do anything that could endanger my wife or daughter" "Very well," Hondo said, "I don't want to be a killjoy. He can stay for all I care, but please don't interrupt me again, I don't like it at all" Tech breathed a sigh of relief and immediately went to your side and hugged you both, gently, relieved. You looked up at him and said softly, "I'm so glad you're staying with us".

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@ilovethosebrowneyes9904

@ben-is-a-hoe

@kaminocasey

@nunanuggets

@hypnoash

@brynhildrmimi

@livi-s

@ttzamara

@thebadbatchscyare

@rexandechosandwich

@mybigfatspoonielife

@clone-whore-99 @chxpsi

@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

@andyoufollowyourheart

@kaliel2310

@misogirl828

@tech-deck

@loverofclones

@thebahdbitch

@meshla-madalene

@stardusthuntress

@ladykatakuri

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@greaser-wolf

@hated-by-me

@malicemercy

@echos-girlfriend

@crosshairs-wife

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #clonelove #clone force 99 #sw tbb #tbb tech #tech #crosshair #bad batch tech #tech x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars fic #tech fanfiction #tech tbb #tech the bad batch #tbb crosshair #hunter #echo #wrecker #star wars the bad batch #clones #tbb tech x reader #hondo ohnaka

[bobbyseyesmile]

Pride and Passion | 10

Chapter 10

⤝ Previous chapter | Next chapter ⤞ ➻ Pride and Passion masterlist

“You know he’s using you, right?” the deep voice rumbled through your head and kept you awake for the second night in a row.

“Shut up. You’re not real.” You whispered back, eyes closed and silently hoping the voice would just disappear.

“I’m as real as you want me to be, girl. Tell me-“ the voice stopped and suddenly appeared in the other corner of the room. “…what is it with you and toxic men?”

You didn’t want to but a small snort escaped you. How ironic, how true… “Funny thing coming from you.”

“Heh, what can I say? Little bit proud of my work here.”

“What work?” you answered, scolding yourself. Stop it- he wasn’t real.

“Ya know, creating a tough little bitch.”

You opened your eyes and scanned the room. Of course, there was no one there but still, you didn’t feel alone. How could you- the demons of your past where with you all the time. “You didn’t create me. I did all that myself, it was my choice to kill you.”

Shane’s raspy laugh appeared behind you. “That you did.” You closed your eyes, waiting for something to happen, a touch, a light breeze, anything. “And I enjoyed every second of it, baby.”

“Stop it.” A small laugh escaped your lips. “I didn’t.”

“Because ya loved me. Because ya still do.”

“I don’t.”

“Why? Because there’s another big bad man?”

“Because you tried to kill my dad…” painful memories filled your head and you rubbed your eyes, hoping they would disappear. “And because-“

A sudden knock silenced you mid-sentence. You hesitated at first but after a few moments got up and opened the wooden door. “Yes?”

“You alright?”

You didn’t know what to answer. No, you were not okay but there was no energy to explain that so you just said: “Why?”

Negan raised an eyebrow and scanned your room with a quick glance. “Hmm… maybe because you were talking to yourself, obviously?”

“I was not-“ you started but then stopped. What could you possibly say- I am not talking to myself but my dead boyfriend who haunts me? Nah, better not. „Yeah, I‘m okay.“

Negan knew it was a lie, your face was all flustered, even scared. Like you’ve just seen a ghost. “And you’re absolutely and unchangeably sure about that, doll?”

“Y-yes.” you whispered but didn’t dare to look at his face. You were too scared to lose it, too scared to explain what was really going on but there was just no way you could ever talk about Shane…

Negan watched carefully while you turned around, scanning your room. There was no one there. “Did you eat?”

His questions made you uneasy, your head was already confused enough. “N-no.”

“Then let’s go.” he grabbed your hand, joyfully whistling some melody that was unfamiliar to your ears and strolled towards the canteen.

“I am not hungry, Negan.”

“I know that feeling. You should still eat something- you already lost a few pounds since you moved here.”

“How long has it been?” you asked and suddenly stopped in your tracks. Negan stopped as well but was still holding your hand. He simply didn’t want to let go of you, fuck, all he wanted was to hold you in his arms.

“Four months.” he answered and your expression changed. It seemed like you were about to cry.

“I bet she can’t remember me anymore…” you whispered and hid your face in your hands; tears forming in the corner of your eyes.

“’Scuse me?” he asked.

“Judith…” you answered, unable to form another sentence.

“The baby?” Negan stroked his beard. “Cute thing, held her a few weeks back.”

Your head snapped upwards, looking into his dark eyes. “You h-held her?” He nodded. “How is she?! Is she healthy? Is there enough food?”

“Calm down, sweetheart.” He let out a low chuckle. “The baby is fine. Everyone in Alexandria is just fine.”

You really wanted to believe it, you needed to believe it. For all you knew they could be dead and Negan would lie straight to your face.

“And I have to say-“he started, reaching for your hand and softly caressing the skin with his thumb “They also look better than you. Christ, honey, you have to eat.”

You shook your head and wiped the tears away that still kept flowing like a goddamn waterfall. “I don’t want to…”

“Y/N-“ his voice was serious. You didn’t care. You simply couldn’t care. There you were: Away from your people, seeing and hearing your dead boyfriend. It was too much. But Negan didn’t know all this and slowly started to lose his patience, he wanted to keep you alive and well.

You sank down on the dirty floor, uncontrollably crying and sobbing now. He just stood there and had to watch. “If you eat…” he started but stopped mid-sentence. Should he really? Oh, fuck it, how bad could it be. “…I’ll let you come to Alexandria for the run this afternoon.”

You carefully looked up into his eyes and tried to understand the words that just left his mouth. “What?”

“You heard me, darling. Eat and you can come.” His plan and motives didn’t matter right now, important was to get you fed and cleaned up. Nothing else had a higher priority.

“You’re just saying that, like you always say things but never mean them!” A few tears dripped down your chin and he tried very hard not to kneel and wipe them away.

“I promise, Y/N.” Normally you wouldn’t give two shits about Negan’s “promises” but something in his voice made you believe him. Could he really mean it? You still sat on the floor when he held his hand out for you to take it. You hesitated at first but decided to take his hand and in one smooth motion, he had you back up on your feet.

“You eat, I’ll explain the rules, ya hear me?” he asked and you nodded. The following hour you fought with the massive amount of food that Negan picked out for you. When you managed to eat half of it, he finally let you go to clean up before you would see your family again.

Usually when Negan brought his wives along, they had to look pretty because he just loved to show them off. Of course, he fidgeted with the thought of you in a tight dress, high heels- showing you off in front of your whiney Daddy. It made him chuckle thinking about Ricks possible reactions. But something held him back. He didn’t want to show you off; sure, he wanted everybody to know that you were his but the dress and heels weren’t really your type. And as unbelievably sexy as you looked, the jeans and shirt you always wore made him just as hard as a tight ass dress.

“Fuck…” he groaned and tried to push the sinful thoughts away. Negan wasn’t stupid. He knew there was a possibility that you hate him forever, that you’d never give him permission to touch you- but something in your eyes reminded him that maybe it wasn’t hate that made you constantly run from him.

A shy knock made his stomach all jumpy. Ah shit, he had it bad for you… “Come in.”

“Hi.” You managed to say and gave him a small smile. Negan bit his tongue when he saw the shorts and the tight top you decided to wear. Your eyes followed him and quickly explained: “My usual pants weren’t dry yet… I had to borrow this from the laundry room…”

“It’s fucking fine.” He chuckled and stood up. “Ready to go?”

You were more than ready and tried to calm your excessively beating heart down- it felt like it would jump straight outta your chest. But something held you back instead of jumping up and down. Negan saw your hesitation and carefully lifted your chin so you would look at him. “Not ready?”

“I-“ you started and tried to swallow the lump in your throat. “I’m just afraid that if I see them again, I don’t want to leave… I wanna stay there.”

“Well…” he sighed deeply and let go of your face. “That is a very likely possibility. You still have to come back with me though, princess.”

You just nodded. Of course, you knew. He would have never allowed you to stay in Alexandria. “Can I-“ you stopped when he turned around, his intense eyes lingering on you “Maybe in the future I could stay there a bit longer than just for a few hours? Like, for a night or so?”

“Y/N…” he warned and you quickly added “Just think about it, okay? No need to decide now.”

“You know I would stay there too for the night, right? Cause I can’t let you out of my sight. You know that?” Your head nodded slowly, unsure what he meant. “So, we would have to share a room, a bed even. You really want that?” Negan’s eyes were serious but you heard the mischievous tone in his voice. When you wouldn’t reply immediately, he started to laugh.

“Oh shit! You’re really thinking about it, aren’t you? You would share a bed with me just so you could stay there a bit longer!” Your cheeks started burning and you looked down. Well, it wasn’t the best option. It was not the worst one as well…

“If that’s what it takes…” you whispered and stared at his lips.

“Hmm…” His smile widened before he said: “Let’s go.” His hand on the small of your back when he guided you out of his room saying: “Let’s talk about it later…”

Taglist: @toxic-ink @jaywinchestersalvatore @crosshajr @neganswoman @tone-stark @missmiauz @ellablossom @abbiesxox @fullwattpadmusictree @lover1307

(if you want to be added, pls let me know)

#Negan #TWD #the walking dead #negan x reader #negan smut #twd negan #negan fanfiction #negan imagine #negan fic #negan smith #carl grimes #rick grimes #twd fic #twd imagine #maggie rhee #daryl dixon #amc the walking dead #smut #fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan #jdm smut #JDM #pride and passion #negan x Y/N #pride and passion chapter 10

[animation-cartoon-fan-writings]

A Secret Darkness 2

Part 1

Azula just returned to her suite with a tray filled with cookies and apple juice for her nieces. Her heart drops upon opening the door to find Emi had snuck out while she was gone. Kya was still asleep on the floor where she last saw her, but Emi was nowhere to be found.

After cursing herself for not calling for guards to be on standby in her absence before leaving the girls alone, the firebender was ready to leap into action to try and find her six-year-old niece. After all, she was only gone for 10 minutes at most. The little princess couldn’t have gotten far.

Suddenly, before she could do anything, the door to the suite knocks. “Who is it?,” Azula calls out. “It’s Zuko,” her brother’s voice is heard calling back and Azula goes over to open the door, just as Kya was starting to wake up from her nap. “Daddy! Daddy! You’re back!,” the four-year-old happily exclaims as her father is revealed standing outside the door. She runs over to him and he bends down to pick her up in his arms. “Of course. My meeting ended early, so I thought you, your sister, and Auntie Zula would like to go with me to get some ice cream,” Zuko smiles at the little girl. “Ya!!! Ice cream!!!,” she cheers in excitement at the prospect of ice cream before Zuko turns his head to his sister.

“What do you say, Zula? Wanna come with us?,” he asks her. “Uhhh…,” Azula gives him a nervous smile. How do I explain to him that his first born just got lost under my watch?, she thought to herself.

Zuko looked around the room, confused to see his eldest daughter was nowhere to be seen. “Azula, where’s Emi?,” he asks, worried. Azula’s heart is pounding. She was afraid of how he’d react, if he’d yell at her, banish her for losing his daughter, for leaving her alone even for even a second.

But, before she can answer, Kya says, “Emi went to her room. She said she prefers to take her nap in there”. Zuko turns his head back to his younger daughter and smiles, seemingly accepting this explanation. “Alright. Then, I guess we should go wake her up and see if she wants ice cream, too,” he responds as he turns around, about to leave for Emi’s room.

“No,” Azula stops her brother in his tracks, causing him to look back at her confused. “I… I mean… you know how she hates being woken up during her nap time. Why don’t you and Kya go out for that ice cream and I’ll stay and check on her?”.

“Are you sure?,” Zuko inquires, sensing something was off with his sister.

“Positive. We’ll be fine. Now go. You two have fun”

The Fire Lord, while still having a gut feeling that something was wrong, decides to let it rest for the moment. He and Kya tell Azula goodbye before he turns to leave the room.

Once her brother and younger niece were gone, Azula wracks her brain of where Emi could have gone. Suddenly, she remembers what Kya just told her father, claiming Emi went to her own room. Figuring the four-year-old was telling the truth, the fire princess left her suite to see if her eldest niece was just napping her in own bed.

Once Azula approaches Emi’s bedroom door, completely covered in the child’s various drawings and coated in gold and purple glitter, matching the six-year-old princess’s chaotic energy and spirit, she softly knocks on it, hoping against hope to hear the little girl’s voice on the other side.

“What?,” a voice calls out from inside the room, a voice that sounded similar to Emi, but much more upset. Something was definitely wrong, Azula realizes. “Emi, it’s Aunt Zula. Can I come in?,” the elder fire princess calls back. “Ok,” Emi agrees, though still sounding more begrudgingly than normal.

Azula slowly opens the door before entering the room, softly closing it behind her. Inside, she finds Emi lying face down on her bed. Maybe Kya was right and Emi had just been in here napping the whole time, she thought. Wanting to make sure, Azula goes over and sits at the end of the bed at the child’s feet.

“Emi…,” she murmurs softly as she pets her back, something she had seen Katara do to help her children feel better whenever one of them was feeling sad. Emi picks her head up and turns to look at her aunt, her little face stained with tears, red and swollen from what appeared to be crying. The sight of it broke Azula’s heart. She hated seeing her nieces, or even her baby nephew, so upset.

Emi then sits up, her face still crestfallen, and starts fidgeting with her own fingers, something Zuko often did himself during difficult moments. He did this when he first told his sister that Katara was pregnant for the first time and was terrified of becoming just like Ozai, as well as when he discussed with her the prospect of going low contact with Ursa. So, the fire princess could easily tell her niece was upset about something. The only question was what.

“Emi? What wrong?,” Azula asks her as softly as possible, her eyes widened with worry, ready to do anything to help the little girl feel better.

After a bit, Azula hears Emi murmur something quietly. “I can’t hear you, Turtleduck. What is it?,” she asks again, giving her a soft, king smile. Finally, Emi answers, “I’m an abomination”.

Azula’s heart sinks hearing her six-year-old niece call herself that word. That single word. Abomination. Something she had not heard out of anyone in years. She knew only a few people that could’ve planted that idea in Emi’s head and she was ready to burn them to a crisp for making this innocent, joyful little girl cry. Zuko wouldn’t mind, she thought. He might’ve even considered challenging them to an Agni Kai had he not outlawed them years ago.

“Emi, baby, no. Who would tell you such a terrible thing?,” she implores, hoping that asking her would not cause her to start crying again. “Grandpa,” the little princess replies, blankly, her voice void of emotion.

“Papa Iroh told you that? That’s impossible”

“No, not Papa Iroh,” Emi shakes her head.

Azula stomach suddenly drops as she realizes the only person that Emi could be referring to.

Oh no. Ozai found her. Now he’s planting these terrible thoughts in her head.

“Emi, tell me exactly what happened and what this man told you,” she demands.

Emi hesitates at her Aunt’s request. She was still deeply scarred by what the man in the cave had told her. But she knew Azula was likely the only person to get the truth from. She knew her Aunt would never lie to her. Auntie Zula never lies.

She explains, “Well… when you left, I wanted to do some more exploring. I found this staircase that I think goes underground or something and I went down. That’s where I found this cave. I was really curious, so I went inside to check it out. I don’t know what I was thinking I would find in there, and I’m sorry I snuck out again. I know I shouldn’t have done that… I go into the cave and I see this old man in a cage. He looked really old and dirty. I was just a few feet away from him. I didn’t even say anything at first. But then, he saw me. And he called me ‘Azula’. He thought I was you…”

The elder princess processed the information as it was given. She was surprised to hear Ozai believed the girl to be her. He must have been hallucinating, she supposed.

“What happened next?,” Azula asks. Emi continues, “He called me his child. So, knowing he thought I was you, I figured he musta been you and daddy’s actual father…He-he also told me that he heard daddy got mommy pregnant. I think he was referring to when mommy had me because he said it would be the heir to the throne. He then said that it was an abomination for the Fire Nation heir to be born without the ivory skin of royalty”.

Azula was speechless. How dare anyone tell an innocent child such vile, racist lies.

“I knew I should have left right then, but I couldn’t help myself. I asked him why it was an abomination and how it reflected on daddy as a leader. Again, I’m so sorry. It was wrong and I shouldn’t have said anything to him…”

Emi felt herself starting to cry once again as Azula wrapped her arms around her tiny body, bringing her into a warm, comforting embrace.

“Turtleduck, it’s ok. I got you,” the elder princess coos as she rocks the scared child. This helps her calm down enough to continue the story.

“He said the Fire Nation is the greatest nation in the world, that Agni has blessed it to be superior to others, and that our bloodline is the purest in the land. He then said that Daddy doesn’t care about his country because he tainted the bloodline with ‘some tribal whore’. By the way, what is a ‘whore’?”

“It’s a bad word, Turtleduck. And your Mommy is not that.”

“Ok. Anyway, he then started ranting and saying all these crazy things. That’s when I ran out of there and came here to be alone”.

“Do you remember what he said?”

Emi sat there in silence for a bit, contemplating how much to tell her aunt.

“He said that our family tree will be tainted with impure blood just because I’m half-water tribe…”

The little princess took a deep breath, remembering word-for-word that last speech the caged man gave right before she ran. Her voice shaking, she tells Azula, “He then told me that soon you will take back the throne from daddy. He then said that once you ‘finish the job from that Agni Kai’, that every other nation will fall and you and him will rule the world. That’s when he started laughing loudly. It was really scary. So I ran out as fast as I could before he could say anymore”.

As she finishes retelling the events, Emi buries her face in her aunt’s chest. Her little body shaking like a single leaf on a windy day. The six-year-old princess felt her aunt’s warm, tight embrace, holding on as if to protect her from the darkness she had just described.

Azula was heartbroken hearing all that Ozai had implanted in Emi’s innocent mind. She also couldn’t help but wonder if he would’ve been as forthcoming had he not believed her niece to be her.

Either way, Emi had now seen the darkness that she and Zuko had tried to keep from her. She was hurt and confused by what that horrible monster had told her. Azula wished she could tell her niece the whole story- about the war, about the Agni Kai, about the abuse she and Zuko had both endured at Ozai’s hands. Unfortunately, she knew now wasn’t the best time to do so. All she was able to do in that very moment was hold this little girl in her arms, comforting her through her tears.

“Turtleduck…,” Azula finally says as Emi’s body slowly stops shaking and her quiet whimpers begin to cease. “Hmhm?,” the little girl looks up at her aunt with those big, ember eyes of hers.

“I am so sorry you had to hear all that. And I know you probably have so many questions that I would love to answer. And, I will soon. But, all I can tell you right now is that the man you just saw is not your dad’s father and is not your true grandfather. Papa Iroh is your true grandfather. Yes, that horrible man in the cage is your father and I’s biological father. But, he isn’t our real father. That is a title that was earned by your Papa Iroh long ago… You know Aunt Toph and Uncle Aang?”

Emi nods her head

“Well, Toph and Aang are not your biological Aunt and Uncle. But, that doesn’t make them less part of the family, right?”

“I guess not”

“Exactly. Now, you have been through a long day. I will talk to your parents and I promise you will hear the full story soon. Ok?”

“Ok,” Emi murmurs as she extracts herself from her aunt’s embrace before proceeding crawl back under her covers.

“But, one more question…. Who is that man?”

Azula thinks over how to answer Emi’s question as she helps tuck her in.

“That man is simply a dark part of the past. And, I can promise you that he will not hurt you or anybody else as long as your parents and I have anything to say about it”

Emi gives Azula a small smile.

“Ok. Thanks Auntie Zula. I’m tired”

“Alright. Get some rest. I’ll come back later when it��s dinner time,” Azula leans down to give Emi a kiss on her little forehead as the little princess drifts off to sleep.

The elder firebender stands back up and dims down the lights as she walks over to the door.

As she slowly opens the bedroom door, she takes one last look at Emi’s tiny sleeping figure before finally exiting the room.

Unfortunately for her, Azula knew this would not be the end of Emi’s questions about Ozai. And best she have them answered sooner rather than later.

But how does one even begin to explain those sort of things to a six-year-old?

Thanks for all the love on Part 1. So, here’s the part 2 you have been asking for.

Comment and like if you want to see part 3

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