#sasha of solemn

[bramblrose]

“Kjell is right. You are a dangerous little bird. But I think I will keep you.”

#tbatsedit #tqatcedit #tbats #tqatc #thebirdandtheswordedit #thequeenandthecureedit #the bird and the sword chronicles #the bird and the sword #the queen and the cure #tiras of degn #tiras of jeru #lark of corvin #tiras #lark #kjell of degn #kjell of jeru #sasha of solemn #saoirse of kilmorda #saoirse of dendar #kjell #sasha #saoirse #amy harmon #mine

[kyleoreillylover]

Loyalty- Chapter 1: The Beginning.

Series Summary/Masterlist

tag list: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav @hope4more @selena-tyler-564 @saintaquarius

Chapter Summary: The cracks in your sweet persona are showing. Jey wants to help you through them, and Roman wants to capitalize on them.

word count: 13,992 (ik it's long but bare with me!!! you'll get less chapters more content, trust me pls :)) warnings: manipulation, cheating, wrestling related violence.

WRESTLEMANIA BACKLASH 2020

Blue. 

Blue used to be your favorite color. The serene hue that used to beckon memories of tranquility, now seemed tainted by the complexities of the present. Your once form fitted sparkling blue gear was now blood stained and glimmering with sweat, the championship it matched no longer in your grasp. 

But now, the color made you want to throw up. The sight of you made you want to throw up.

You stared back at your reflection in your dressing room mirror, the dressing room mirror reflecting an image you hardly recognized. Your face was bruised and distorted, your eye swollen shut and lip cut and bleeding from the fight you were in just moments ago with Ronda Rousey.

And just a few minutes before that match, you were informed that you would be dropping your Smackdown Women's Championship to her, because they thought that was what was best for business. Because not telling you beforehand wasn't what was best for business.

Casting you- the nicknamed Princess of Pain of WWE because of your kind nature and killer attitude in the ring-one of the biggest babyfaces on the roster, one of the biggest merch sellers, one of the greatest on the mic and in the ring, and finally one of their champions after so many years of crawling to the top from the NXT food chain to your win against Sasha Banks in one of the most historic main events ever at Wrestlemania to hold your first main roster title- to the side after less than a month as a champion was best for business.

Making you finally have your moment on the grandest stage of them all only to have it shattered so soon at Ronda's request after she just came back from her months-long vacation was best for business. 

Sami tried to console you, he knew from the look on your face as you left the meeting before your match and ran into him that something was horribly wrong.

But you brushed off his attempts at comforting you with a solemn smile and a 'I'm fine, don't worry about me, Sami.' and took off before he could inquire any more. If he pushed any more with those brown eyes that always seemed to know what you were thinking and those warm arms that he outstretched towards you, you knew you would fall into them and cry. 

You decided instead of yelling at management, you tried to make the best of it and lead Ronda into a good match and push any animosity you had and be cordial- you could get another opportunity in the future. And maybe this would lead to one of your friends-like Liv or Rhea-taking the title off of her and getting their moment they absolutely deserved.

But all those thoughts left your brain when she stared back across the ring from you with that stupid smirk across her face and went off script and punched you square in the nose so hard that it broke and your face was trickled with blood before the bell even rang.

There would be no holding back, you thought. Even if I lose, I'ma make sure I come out the true fucking winner and make her work for it.

And work for it Ronda did. The two of you beat the holy hell out of each other. Under the bright lights, punches were not pulled, and bodies were broken.

The commentary table was destroyed when you pile-driven Ronda through it. Your face was covered in grim and blood from where Ronda attacked it, the blood getting into your eyes and making you wipe it every 5 seconds. and Ronda's shoulder was dislocated from where you rammed a chair into it, relishing in her cries of pain.

How's it feel going off script now, bitch?, you thought. 

Sami knew you weren't okay though when Ronda finally got you into a sleeper hold and your eyes fluttered shut after hanging on for so long, and instead of tapping out as planned, deciding to pass out.

Ronda clearly didn't like what you were doing, since she tightened her grip on your neck and didn't let go for a full five minutes, only pushing herself off of you when Adam Pearce and medical/security staff finally convinced her to let go of you.

"I'm what's best for business!" She screamed into your face, waving your title around with a cocky smirk on her face as she watched you glare at her, pushing away the medical staff weakly and refuse to get on the stretcher, much to their chagrin. "Not some nice weak little bitch who peaked in NXT!"

Her words hurt more than the physical pain you were in, and you kept repeating them in your mind as you wiped your face, wincing with every wipe.

You went to medical, but there was only so much they could do. They put your nose back in place, (Sami barged into the room and forced you to let him stay, and his hand almost broke under your grip when the doctor was fixing your nose), disinfected your lip, gave you some pain meds, and told you that you'd be cleared to wrestle in a couple of weeks, and instructed you to put ice on your bruised body. 

Sami was planning on getting your stuff from your locker room and bringing you to your hotel room so he could help you relax (much to your annoyance, all you wanted to do was be alone and wallow in your own self-pity), when you ran into a concerned looking Kevin in the hallway.

The scene he saw before him- Sami trying to wrap an arm around you to help you up and your stubborn ass refusing him, made him explode in anger and concern. But much like with everything Kevin says, it came out in the worst way possible.

"Just because Ronda knocked the marbles outta your head doesn't mean you get to act stupid. Let Sami help you, you dumbass!" he shouted, gesturing wildly in his frustration.

You glared at Kevin, not in the mood for him tonight.  Why he thought he had any right to speak to you like that was beyond comprehension. He was no longer your best friend, so he shouldn't be acting like he even cared. He didn't care when he cost you how many championships when you were about to win them, did he? Of course now he wants to speak with you.

Despite the pain and the swirling emotions, you managed to push Sami away, moving closer to Kevin with a fiery gaze.

"Oh, so now you wanna care about me? Very funny." you spat, your voice dripping with disdain. "And last time I checked, Ronda came out that match with a broken shoulder, and if you don't get away from me in the next 5 seconds, I'll break yours too."

Kevin huffed as if he couldn't decide between continuing the argument or stepping back, but he saw Sami rubbing your back and trying to comfort you despite your resistance, and he couldn't hold back his sharp tongue or his jealousy.

"Does that only apply to everyone or is Sami the exception as always?" Kevin shot back, his frustration evident in his tone. "For fucks sake, your bleeding and all you can care about is the fact that I'm telling you the truth, and you can't handle it like always."

Your fists clenched at your sides as Kevin's words pierced through the haze of pain and anger. You wanted to scream at him, to make him understand the turmoil raging within you, but the searing pain in your body drowned out any coherent thoughts.

Before you could retort, Sami stepped between you and Kevin, cutting Kevin with a glare that could cut through steel. "Are you seriously jealous that I'm trying to take care of her? Maybe you would have that opportunity if you actually acted like you cared about her!" Sami mocked, his voice low and seething with frustration.

Kevin knew he should've focused on your physical and mental state instead of starting the argument, but the fire was lit and Sami only added to the gasoline. "Maybe I would've had that opportunity if she didn't constantly take your side and ignore her actual best friend!"

At Sami's incredulous look at his statement, Kevin scowled and glared at him. "Don't act like I'm not right. No matter what I do, it's always Sami this, Sami that. 'Oh Y/N, we hate Kevin, we can't trust Kevin.'  Like I don't exist. Like he's the only one who gets to be there for you!" 

Sami glowered at Kevin, shaking his head in disbelief. "I do get to be the only one there for her! Because you weren't there for us when we needed you."

This time it was Kevin shaking his head in disbelief, a wry smile on his face. "Oh my god, do you not hear yourself? We, we, we? You don't care about her, you just care about trying to avenge yourself for the past! You only want her to yourself because you know that your own actions pushed her away, so you are trying to blame yourself on me!"

Your head throbbed with pain as their argument escalated, each word feeling like a dagger in your already wounded heart.  The realization that this altercation was about more than just your well-being dawned upon you. They were fighting for a place in your life, a place you were struggling to define for yourself amidst the chaos of tonight.

"Blame your actions on me! Blame your short comings in your careers on me! Blame Y/N's shitty title reign on me! Blame everything on me, because that's what you always do!  Y/N can't see past your stupid sweet smile and fake friendship to realize that you're manipulating her emotions!" Kevin retorted, his voice rising in frustration.

"Enough!" Your voice shattered through the heated exchange, cutting their argument short. Breathing heavily, you felt the pain and exhaustion wash over you, but a surge of anger and hurt fueled your words. Both men turned to you, their angry expressions faltering at the angry expression on your bruised up face. 

"This is not about you two!" You shouted, your voice a mixture of frustration and agony. "This is about me! About what happened out there!"

You gestured vaguely toward the arena, a reminder of the brutal match you just endured. "This is not about which one of you gets to be by my side or who's the better friend. This is about how I'm feeling right now, which is like absolute shit! I just got my ass handed to me in the ring, and all I want is to be left alone!"

Your voice cracked with emotion as tears welled up in your eyes, a combination of physical pain and the emotional turmoil caused by the situation. You turned to Kevin, who was taking a step forward, his expression now more concerned than combative. 

"Kevin..." You struggled to maintain your composure, wiping away a stray tear. "You want me to stop blaming you? For everything? For all your mistakes? For my 'shitty title reign'?" Kevin winced as your words hit him hard. "Well, I'm sorry if I'm not in the mood to hear about how you're such a great friend and how you care about me after everything that's happened tonight."

Your voice cracked as you fought to keep your emotions in check. "But I'll stop blaming you forever. We are done. Forever. You want to feel no more guilt? You choked on your words, a mix of anguish and frustration bubbling up inside. "Here's your freedom from the burden of my friendship, Kevin. Congratulations."

"Y/N..."

"And you!" You turned to Sami, who had been until he just now piped up quietly standing by, his face twisted with concern and guilt. "Kevin is right. You seem to think you know what's best for me, but you don't! You both think you know what's best for me, but you don't!"

Your voice trembled with emotion as you struggled to articulate the storm of feelings raging within you. "I'm tired of this, Sami. I'm tired of feeling like I owe you everything because you've been there for me. I'm tired of you expecting me to be okay with everything when I'm not! I'm tired of being pushed and pulled in every direction, as if I'm some prize to be won!"

Sami's eyes widened in shock and hurt, his hand instinctively reaching out to touch your arm, but you flinched away from his touch.  The pain, both physical and emotional, was overwhelming, and you couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take their expectations anymore.

"So I'm done with this. I'm done with the both of you." Your voice shook  as tears streamed down your face, your body trembling from the sheer weight of the emotional turmoil. "I just want to be alone. Please, just leave me alone."

Without waiting for a response, you turned away from both of them and staggered down the hallway, pain pulsating through your body with every step. The sounds of their voices, their arguments, and the echoes of your own shattered feelings reverberated in your mind as you disappeared into the corridor, seeking solace in the solitude of your dressing room.

And now, there you sit, surrounded by the eerie silence of the empty dressing room. The chaos of emotions swirls within, echoing the bruises and wounds that adorn your body.

Eventually you showered and changed into a hoodie and shorts, but you sat right back in your seat, your mind a heavy fog you didn't know how to navigate.  Not some nice weak little bitch who peaked in NXT! Not some nice weak little bitch who peaked in NXT!

You're not sure how long you've been sitting there, lost in the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. A knock on the door interrupts your solitary moment. Assuming it was Sami or Kevin, you rolled your eyes before realizing you didn't want to see either of them again tonight, or ever.

"I said I want to be alone! So go away!" you call out, your voice strained from the emotional outburst.

"If you're assuming it's those parasites you call best friends, you are mistaken, miss." Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the voice, and you stood up to see who it was.

The door creaked open slowly, and in stepped a figure you didn't expect to see- Paul Heyman.

"Paul? What are you doing here?" you asked, wiping away tears and trying to compose yourself in the presence of the unexpected visitor.

"I came to see you. May I have a moment of your time, please?" Paul's tone was calm and measured, and there was something in his demeanor that seemed earnest.

Despite your reluctance to engage with anyone at that moment, there was an air of sincerity in Paul's request that piqued your curiosity. You nodded silently, gesturing for him to proceed.

"I watched your match tonight," Paul began, his gaze steady as he spoke. "What happened out there was unfortunate, to say the least. But I must admit, I was impressed by your resilience, your determination to give it your all despite the circumstances."

You raised an eyebrow, unsure of where Paul was going with this. His presence felt unusual, especially considering the two of you never directly interacted much before. 

"I know we're not directly associated, you and I being on different levels and divisions of the playing field, but I couldn't help but notice something remarkable about your performance," Paul continued, his expression thoughtful. "Your tenacity, your ability to hold your ground, even when faced with adversity, it's something that caught my attention."

You remained silent, studying Paul's demeanor. His words were unexpected, and you couldn't quite grasp his intentions behind this unexpected visit.

"Forgive me if I'm overstepping any boundaries, but I believe there's potential in you that hasn't been fully realized yet," Paul remarked, his gaze unwavering. "You have something special, something that transcends mere championship reigns or victories," Paul emphasized, his expression earnest. "You have the ability to connect with the audience on a deeper level, to evoke emotions, to tell a story. That's a rare gift, one that can't be overshadowed by a single match or a title loss."

You blinked in surprise, not expecting such words from Paul Heyman of all people. His assessment of your performance and his acknowledgement of your capabilities left you momentarily speechless. You'd never imagined receiving this level of acknowledgment from someone of his stature, especially not in the midst of your emotional turmoil.

"I... I don't know what to say," you stammered, your voice wavering slightly as you struggled to process Paul's unexpected praise.

"Take a moment, breathe," Paul offered, a reassuring smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I simply wanted to express my genuine admiration for what you showcased out there tonight. Despite the outcome, you displayed a raw emotion and resilience that's commendable. You have the fire, the determination, and a resilience that's quite admirable. But sometimes, in this business, one needs more than just talent and determination to succeed."

You frowned slightly, feeling a mix of curiosity and skepticism. "Excuse me, but what exactly are you trying to say, Paul?" you inquired, your voice tinged with a hint of caution.

Paul paused for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully.

"What I'm trying to convey is that sometimes, the most powerful narratives in this industry are born out of moments like this. Moments of struggle, of pain, of setbacks. Your journey resonates with the audience because it's real, it's relatable. You've faced challenges, setbacks, and yet you continue to fight, not just in the ring but against the odds stacked against you. And that's where true stories are born, in the depths of adversity."

You didn't know how to react to Paul's words. He was offering a perspective you hadn't considered amidst the chaos of emotions and conflicts you were dealing with, but why he was expressing this to you was still a mystery.

"I understand this might be a lot to take in, especially given the circumstances," Paul acknowledged, his tone empathetic. " But I believe that your journey doesn't end here, with this loss. It continues, it evolves, and it becomes something greater. It doesn't end with a loss, it starts with one."

You narrowed your eyes slightly, trying to discern Paul's true intentions behind his unexpected pep talk. His words were both encouraging and cryptic, leaving you with a sense of curiosity and intrigued. 

"I appreciate your perspective, Paul," you said cautiously, your voice tinged with a mix of gratitude and skepticism. "But why are you telling me this?"

Paul smiled slightly, his eyes glinting with a sense of intrigue. "Because I want to help you start your journey." He pulled out something from his pocket and handed it to you - a business card with The Bloodline's contact information.

"I understand you are old friends with Roman Reigns," Paul explained. "The Head of the Table. He's been quite impressed with your work, always has been. But tonight he would like to offer you something more than just admiration. He wants to offer you an opportunity."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. The idea of being offered an opportunity by your old friend Roman tonight was unexpected, to say the least. You glanced down at the business card in your hand, then back up at Paul, waiting for further explanation.

"Roman sees potential in you, in what you bring to the table," Paul continued, his tone measured yet confident. "And he's not just saying it as a friend-he is saying it as the Head of the Table, as the leader of The Bloodline. And I understand that the two of you have history, a friendship that predates your WWE career. Upper management might not believe in you, but Roman does, trust me. And after tonight, he sees that they need to believe in you too."

Your mind raced with a flurry of emotions and thoughts. The unexpected turn of events, the offer from Roman, the belief that someone like Paul Heyman seemed to have in your potential - it was all overwhelming, especially in the midst of your emotional turmoil and the fallout with your friends.

"I am gonna be really honest and tell you that I am bruised, I am beaten and I don't have the mental capacity to absorb all of this right now." You admitted,  your voice trembling slightly with exhaustion. 

Paul chuckled, smiling wide at you. This was going well.

"I understand. I didn't expect you to have it all figured out in one moment," Paul reassured, his tone understanding. "Take your time. Rest, recover, and if you ever want to explore possibilities beyond what's currently being presented to you, if you want to tell a story that truly reflects your spirit and resilience, give me a call." 

You stared at the business card in your hand, surprised at the turn of events.  "Think about it," Paul said, noting your contemplative expression, before nodding at you and leaving the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You sank back into the chair when you were once again enveloped by the silence of the empty dressing room. You didn't know what to think, what to do, how to act. All you knew was that you wanted to go to your hotel room and sleep this day off. You sat up, grabbing your phone and checking it.

outgoing text to Seth <;3: I need you tonight. come over to my room?

read.

You sighed, but your body was not surprised and too weak for you to be angry. You could deal with your brooding boyfriends self later. You didn't have the emotional capacity to baby him on why he should care about you right now.

You grabbed your stuff, heading out of the dressing room with a heavy heart and a weary body. Your uber ride was quick, and you finally arrived at your hotel room.

The exhaustion and emotional weight of the day settled in as you entered the room, the only solace being the relative quiet and isolation. You decided to take a quick shower, hoping that the warm water might provide a momentary escape from the chaos of the day. As the water cascaded down, you felt a bit of the tension ebbing away, though the emotional turmoil lingered.

After the shower, you slipped into comfortable pajamas, feeling the heaviness of the day sinking in. Your phone dinged with a text, and you picked it up, expecting it to be Seth or one of the girls asking if you were okay.

Instead, the message was from an unknown number, which struck you as odd. Curious, you opened it to read:

"Hey, it's Jey. Paul gave me your number. I know you was expecting Roman, but unfortunately, he's occupied right now. He wanted me to reach out to you instead. If you need anything or want to talk, I'm here. Take care."

You blinked in surprise at the unexpected message from Jey Uso. Why he might be reaching out on Roman's behalf was a bit puzzling. Why any of this was happening right now was puzzling. You didn't have the energy for this. So despite the curiosity gnawing at you, you didn't respond.

Turning your phone off, you snuggled into your bed, the warm covers offering you comfort from your pain. Your eyes fluttered shut, the exhaustion taking over, and soon, you were lost in the realm of sleep with only one thought on your mind.

You were going to get your comeuppance, no matter what. 

liked by yaonlylivonce, sethrollins, beckylynch, uceyjucey and 500,000 others

Y/N: Vacation was just what I needed 🏖️

view all comments:

user: you deserved better!! ronda shouldn’t have taken ur title!!

user: so are u staying in the wwe or walking out?

user: wwe got u fucked up if they think we just gon' take that!!

livmorgan: mother!!!

sethrollins: my girl!

↳beckylynch: mhm.

↳user: huh?

↳user: nah becky rlly tweaking rn 😭

user: why didn't Seth go with you?

↳ user: and they don't even post each other like that no more 👀 but lemme not be messy 😭

"Why do we even need to think of adding a new person in the Bloodline? She ain't even talk to none of us anyways." Jey sighed as he shut off his phone from where he was checking your Instagram, in anger or disappointment he didn't know.

It had been almost 2 months since you were seen in the WWE, and you never responded to his text message. Or, according to rumors, to any of the higher ups either. Apparently you told them you'd come back when you were ready, and left it at that, leaving them just as much in the dark as the fans were.

Jey just assumed that you were feeling overwhelmed or needed some personal space to get better and that's why you ain't respond to him, but after the first week he concluded you were ignoring him deliberately.

"Roman, she ain't even trying to reach out or nothing," Jey continued, frustration evident in his voice. "Paul's been trying to push her into this whole thing, but she's just ghosted everyone. What's the point of bringing her into the mix if she don't even wanna be here?"

Roman glanced up from the papers on his desk, his expression unreadable. He had his suspicions about your absence, but he chose to keep them to himself.

"Give her time, Jey," he said calmly. "If she's not responding, it means she's not ready or willing to engage. We can't force her into something she's not comfortable with. Trust me, I know how she is. She's like you; she moves at her own pace and needs space, otherwise that fire she has will simmer down."

Jey let out a frustrated sigh, tossing his phone onto the table. He understood what Roman was saying, but for whatever reason it still frustrated him not to hear from you. He never even talked to you-you shared the same circle but never crossed paths-yet when he saw your Instagram pics he felt a connection that he couldn't explain.  

"I just feel like we're all sitting here waiting for something that might never happen," Jey muttered, looking up at Roman with a mix of concern and frustration.

Roman checked his watch and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head, his gaze fixed on Jey. "Trust me, we won't be waiting any longer." 

Jey raised an eyebrow, confusion written all over his face before a knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Roman gestured for Jey to open it.

The door creaked open slowly, revealing you , standing in the doorway. Your appearance was a stark contrast from the last time they saw you—determined, your gaze steady despite the tiredness in your eyes, your aura a mix of confidence and vulnerability. It was evident that the time away had changed you, but in ways they couldn't quite discern.

You glanced between Roman and Jey, a mixture of emotions playing across your face—resilience, uncertainty, and a hint of determination.

"Y/N?" Jey exclaimed in surprise, his eyes widening as he took in your presence. Roman remained composed, his gaze fixed on you as he gestured for you to come in.

You hesitated for a moment but Jey closing the door behind you prompted you to step forward into the room. You were wearing a low cut black tank top, your hair pulled back into a messy bun, and loose jeans, a far cry from the glitz and glam of your WWE persona. You hadn't expected to come back just yet, but something in you told you it was time, time to face what you had been avoiding.

"Sorry I'm late-" You tried to apologize but Roman interrupted, his voice calm and composed. "No need to apologize. You're right on time. Take a seat."

You pursed your lips, sitting down as indicated, feeling the weight of the atmosphere in the room. Roman's composed demeanor didn't fail to remind you of the authority he held, even in a casual setting like this.

"I know I've been MIA, and I haven't been responsive," you began, your voice tentative as you glanced between Roman and Jey. "There's no excuse for my absence or for not responding to your messages."

Jey opened his mouth to speak, but Roman held up a hand, indicating he should remain silent for now. "We understand," Roman said calmly, his gaze fixed on you. "We just wanted to ensure you were okay. We know you needed your time. Are you healing up okay?"

You nodded, the weight of their understanding and non-confrontational approach easing some of the tension in your shoulders. "Yeah, I'm getting better, but it's been a process." You admitted, lifting your shirt slightly to reveal a faint scar along your ribs that made both men wince. "As you can see."

"Damn, Ronda really fucked you up, huh?" At your glare, Jey winced and apologized, "I mean, sorry. Didn't mean to be rude. Just saying, it's good to see you back though. People here missed you."

Roman inclined his head slightly, his expression unreadable. "Indeed. Your absence has been felt, Y/N."

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you. Being back here, facing Roman, it was both daunting and strangely comforting. "I... I didn't plan on coming back just yet, but something made me reconsider."

Jey leaned forward, curiosity evident in his voice. "What made you change your mind?"

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much you wanted to disclose. You were close with Roman after all, not Jey. But something in his gaze told you that this conversation was one you could trust them with. Trust him with. 

"I needed time away, time to think, to heal. But something in me told me it was time to face things, to come back and finish the journey." 

Roman leaned back into his chair, his gaze still focused on you. "I'm glad that you're back, and I apologize that we haven't been in contact like we used to. Being the head of the ribal Chief comes with its own responsibilities, and sometimes that means we overlook things. But I assure you, you're still family to me. Which is why I sent Paul after you to make sure you were alright."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise at Roman's words, the mention of Paul's involvement still puzzling you. "Yeah, about Paul?" you questioned, confusion evident in your voice. "He reached out to me a while back, but I didn't quite understand what he wanted. Something about an opportunity."

Roman nodded, a slight smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "Yes. I told him to check up on you, see how you were doing. But most importantly, to ask you about an opprounity." He paused, leaning forward, his demeanor shifting to a more business-like tone. "And that is to be my right hand woman." 

Your breath caught in your throat at Roman's statement, and you were sure that if you were drinking water that would have been the moment you'd have spat it out in surprise. "I-I'm sorry?"

Roman, to his credit, maintained his composed demeanor, his gaze steady yet filled with a hint of amusement at your reaction as he repeated himself. “I want you by my side, as a part of the Bloodline. To be the right hand woman I need. You've got the fire and resilience that I've been looking for. You might have been gone for a bit, but it doesn't change what you bring to the table. And I want to make you start your journey and realize you bring the whole damn universe to the table."

You were speechless, your mind reeling from this entire converstation.  Being invited to be a part of the Bloodline, to serve as Roman's right hand, it was beyond anything you had imagined or anticipated. 

"I... I don't know what to say," you stammered, your mind racing with a flurry of emotions. "But.. I'm not blood like the rest of you. I'm not a part of your family, Roman. I don't know if I fit in with the Bloodline."

Roman leaned back in his chair, a faint smirk playing on his lips as he observed your reaction. "That's why I said my right hand woman, not my right hand blood. Like with  Paul, he's my wiseman and not my blood. You can be that, and so much more." Roman's words were deliberate, his tone holding a weight of certainty. 

Roman's words were deliberate, his tone holding a weight of certainty. "You can be the greatest woman's champion the WWE has ever seen. You can be the greatest asset to the Bloodline, regardless of blood relations. You can be the greatest woman to hold this position, all the power, and you don't need to be blood to achieve that." He leaned closer to you, his eyes fixated on yours, his words laden with conviction. "All you have to do is acknowledge me."

You breathed heavily,  were taken aback by Roman's sincerity and the offer itself. It was something you hadn't anticipated, especially after your absence and the confusion that surrounded your return. "But why do you want me?" You asked,  your voice a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity. "I mean, I've been gone for so long. There are others who could be much better at this role, much more qualified than I am."

Roman leaned back in his chair, a small smirk playing on his lips as he regarded you. "Even after all these years you are still as modest as ever," he remarked, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

"I want you because you bring something to the table that others might not possess. I realized that in this group of men that I lead, I need a woman that can calm our fires and amplify our strengths, yet ignite those same fires when necessary. I need a woman that can command respect without uttering a word, someone who carries their own weight, and someone who's unafraid to respectfully challenge me when needed because I trust your judgement after years of friendship. You possess a fire that's essential for what I envision. You might not see it, but I do."

You were stunned by Roman's words. His perception of you and the role he believed you could play within the Bloodline were far beyond what you had imagined. The weight of his trust and the responsibility he was offering left you feeling both honored and overwhelmed.

"I... I need some time to think about this," you finally replied, still processing the enormity of Roman's proposition. "It's a lot to take in, Roman. I appreciate the offer, but you must understand that I need a minute to-"

"I understand," Roman interrupted, his voice gentle yet firm. "Take all the time you need. I don't expect an answer right away. Just know that the offer stands, and whenever you're ready to give me your response, I'll be here." He leaned back, giving you a reassuring nod that you delivered back. "Jey, walk her out."

Jey, who had been observing the exchange in silence, leaned forward and stood up, nodding at Roman. "Sure thing, Uce." He turned to you, offering you a small smile as he was a gentlemen, but his expression was guarded. "C'mon, I'll walk you out."

You nodded, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you. Standing up from your seat, you cast one last glance at Roman, who nodded in acknowledgment before you followed Jey out of the room.

As you walked alongside Jey, silence enveloped both of you. It was a strange feeling—being back here, facing the unexpected turn of events, facing your own emotions, and considering the proposition Roman had offered. Jey seemed contemplative, as if he had questions but chose not to voice them until you were almost at the exit.

"Why?'

You blinked at Jey's question, taking a moment to process his words. "Why what?" you asked, slightly puzzled by his sudden inquiry.

"Why you?" Jey clarified, glancing at you with a mix of curiosity and scrutiny. "I mean, I know ya'll are friends, but you've been gone for a while. You've been quiet, and suddenly, the Tribal Chief wants you back as his right hand. What's so special about you?"

You paused, considering your response. Jey had a point. Your sudden reappearance and Roman's offer might seem surprising to someone observing from the outside. Taking a breath, you decided to offer a glimpse of your perspective.

"I wish I could give you an answer, Jey." You replied, your voice measured as you walked alongside him. "But I honestly don't know. This all happened so fast. One minute I'm trying to cope with my loss, and the next, Roman's offering me a position within the Bloodline." You looked at him quizzically before continuing. "Why do you think Roman offered this to me?"

Jey furrowed his brows, contemplating your question. He wasn't expecting you to seek his input on the matter. Nobody really asked him for his opinion within the family, but there was something in your gaze that prompted him to consider your query seriously. Maybe it was because you actually desired his opinion in a time where no one else did that slightly warmed his heart, but he’d never admit it.

"I don't know," Jey replied honestly, shaking his head slightly. "But Roman sees something in you. Something that he thinks can be an asset to us. You might not see it, but he does."

He paused, glancing at you briefly before averting his gaze. "Maybe it's 'cause he trusts you. Or maybe there's something you bring that nobody else does. I ain't sure, but I know when Roman makes a move like this, he's got his reasons. He don't just do things without a reason."

You nodded thoughtfully, giving Jey a smile as you processed his words. "Well, whatever the reason, I hope it leads to me seeing you around more often,” you added with a light chuckle, trying to ease the tension slightly.

Jey offered a small smile in return, though his expression remained somewhat guarded even though he wanted to be friendly. A nice pretty girl wanted to be his friend and all he was doing was analyzing her for answers on Roman. “Yeah, we'll see about that," he replied cryptically before opening the door for you. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

You gave Jey a nod of acknowledgment, appreciating his gesture. "You too, Jey. Thanks for walking me out." With a last smile, Jey watched as you left the arena, your beautiful presence disappearing as you stepped out.

‘Damn,’ Jey thought to himself, there's something more to her than meets the eye.’ Maybe he had underestimated you. Maybe it's worth paying attention to.

And maybe he wouldn’t hate getting to know you more.

You winced slightly as you changed into your gym clothes in the locker room. It had been a few months now since you got hurt, and you were now cleared, but your body still hurt like a bitch.

It had also been a few months since Roman asked you to join the Bloodline, and you gave him your answer a few weeks later: A resounding yes.

You tried to acknowledge him in the confines of his office with the Jimmy, Jey and Paul with you, but Roman told you that he'd make you acknowledge when you passed his test and he would know for sure you were loyal to the Bloodline. Roman told you in the meantime thought to get acquainted with the rest of the members, and to start training with them until you were ready to be on TV again. Which led to you going to the Bloodline's own personal gym located in the arena and training and hanging out with the twins.

Jimmy was funny, cool, and always hyped up, and quickly took a liking to you because of your shared humor and your kind spirit; the two of you were always goofing around and letting loose. But Jey was- as you found out- a tough nut to crack.

It wasn't like he was rude- he never yelled at you or treated you poorly. In fact, he was quite respectful, but  but he had a guarded demeanor around you. He was more reserved, observant, and often seemed lost in his thoughts. You found it a bit challenging to get him to open up or engage in conversations beyond the necessary exchanges during training sessions.

It was like there was an invisible barrier that kept you both at a distance. You couldn't quite pinpoint why, but there was an underlying tension whenever you were around him. You tried to engage in conversation, crack jokes, or even just ask about his day, but his responses were always short and guarded.

It was like he had his guard up around you all the time, but it didn't make things awkward or uncomfortable; rather, it made you more determined to break through that barrier.

But it wasn't your own doing that almost broke through that barrier though. It was Kevin. One day, after a particularly tough training session, you were sitting on the bench catching your breath while Jey was nearby, lost in his thoughts as usual. You glared when you saw Kevin coming over to you.

"This is a private gym, Kevin. I knew you were stupid, but I didnt think you were illiterate." You spat at him. Kevin wasn't fazed by your reaction, instead coming closer to you. 

"You're right. This is a private gym for the Bloodline. So what are you doing here?" Kevin huffed at you. This had to be a mistake, there's no way you would join the faction that tried to take him out.

"I am here as part of the Bloodline. So you need to leave." You stood up, facing Kevin with determination in your eyes. The tension in the air was palpable, and it seemed like a confrontation was inevitable.

Jey, who had been nearby, observing the interaction, raised a cautious eyebrow at Kevin's approach and your response. He had seen you and Kevin exchange words before, and it was clear there was some animosity between you two. He and everyone knew you guys were ex-best friends, and Jey wasn't one to meddle in others' business, especially when it came to personal disputes, but something about this situation made him uneasy.

Kevin glanced between you and Jey, his expression morphing into one of disbelief. "You?" He scoffed, his tone laced with incredulity. "Part of the Bloodline? That's a joke, right?"

 When you didn't respond, he chuckled sarcasatically, like he couldn't believe it. "Are you kidding me? Are you stupid? Damn, I was right when I said that Ronda knocked some marbles outta your head. You really think that joining them is a good idea? They are nothing but manipulative shitheads."

You rolled your eyes, unamused by Kevin's insults. Typical Kevin, never congratulating you on anything good you do or are a part of. "You don't know anything about what's going on, Kevin. So just leave."

But Kevin seemed undeterred, his voice rising slightly. "They're using you, Y/N. Can't you see that? You're better than this. Don't let them drag you down into their mess. They'll chew you up and spit you out like they do with everyone else."

You tried to ignore him and go back to lifting your weights, but Kevin snatched the dumbbell from your hand, causing you to stand up abruptly, a mix of frustration and anger evident on your face. "Give it back, Kevin," you demanded firmly, your tone leaving no room for negotiation.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on with you! Are you this demented that you can't see when you're being played?"

"Seems like the only demented person here is you!" You tried to grab he dumbbell back, but Kevin held onto it firmly, a stubborn look on his face. The tension in the gym escalated as your argument continued, both of you getting more heated with your words.

"They are just using you!"

"Of course you would know about using people, that's all you ever do!"

"God, you are so much like Sami! So fucking naive and stubborn!"

The mention of Sami seemed to strike a nerve with you. You clenched your jaw, your expression turning stony as you took a step closer to Kevin.

"I told you that I'm done with you and Sami," you seethed, your voice low and filled with a dangerous edge. "So give me back the dumbbell and get the fuck out of here, and the fuck out of my life."

"Im just trying to protect you, damn it!" 

"She don't need your protecting no more, she got the Bloodline." The both of you turned at the sudden interruption, and you looked up at Jey who moved in front of you and was glaring at Kevin with an intense gaze, his tone firm and commanding.

"Excuse me? This doesn't concern you, so just leave us alone." Kevin glared at Jey, not appreciating his interference. To him, Jey was just another member of the faction that he despised and that was using you. 

Jey narrowed his eyes slightly, his stance unwavering and  his voice steady as he spoke. "She's a part of the Bloodline now, Kevin. It does concern me. Give her the dumbbell, and leave us alone."

Kevin stared back at Jey for a moment, his eyes flickering between Jey's imposing stance and your determined one, and you thought that a fight would break out between them, but eventually, he dropped the dumbbell with a scoff. "

Fine. But don't think that I'm letting them take you from me." With that threat, Kevin shot one last glare at both of you before storming out of the gym.

You let out a sigh of relief, feeling the weight of the confrontation easing off your shoulders. Turning to Jey, who was still standing in front of you, you were taken aback by the protective stance he had taken during the argument.

"Thank you, Jey," you said softly, grateful for his intervention. "I appreciate you stepping in."

Jey shrugged slightly, his guard still up but a hint of something softer in his expression. "Didn't seem right to let him get in your face like that," he muttered, his voice gruff but underlying concern evident in his tone.

You nodded in understanding, feeling a sense of camaraderie in the way Jey had backed you up. "Yeah, he's always been like that." You chuckled slightly, trying to lighten the mood. "Always thinks he knows what's best for me."

Jey's lips twitched into a small smile, a glimmer of warmth breaking through his guarded demeanor.  "Sounds familiar,"he replied cryptically, the corner of his mouth quirking up slightly.

He shifted his weight slightly, glancing around the gym before his gaze settled back on you. "You good?"

You nodded, offering Jey a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks again." There was a brief moment of silence between the two of you, before Jey cleared his throat, a hint of uncertainty in his voice as he spoke up. "Listen, I know I ain't been the most welcoming or talkative. Just... didn't feel like my place to get involved with your business. But.. I gotta ask you something."

You paused, curious about what Jey wanted to ask you. "Sure, what's up?" you replied, your tone inviting despite the underlying tension from the earlier confrontation with Kevin.

Jey hesitated for a moment, his guarded expression faltering slightly as he glanced away before meeting your gaze again. "Why you ain't text me back?"

You blinked, taken aback by the unexpected question. "Why didn't I text you back?" You echoed, surprised by the sudden inquiry. You took a moment to gather your thoughts, unsure of how to respond to Jey's question. After a beat, you offered an honest answer, wanting to address his concern no matter how embarrassing it would be.

"It wasn't intentional, Jey," you began, your voice gentle as you met his gaze. "Everything happened so suddenly, and I needed time to myself. I didn't mean to ignore you or anyone else. And Seth... you know my boyfriend, right?" Jey nodded, and you continued, "He saw it and kind of got...don't laugh... jealous about you reaching out, so he asked me not to reply to anyone outside my close circle."

You chuckled nervously, feeling a bit embarrassed admitting it. A boyfriend shouldn't have an issue with you talking to whoever you wanted, but Seth wasn't a good boyfriend, as much as you didn't want to admit it.  "I didn't want to make things worse by explaining, so I just... didn't respond to anyone. I'm sorry if I offended you."

Jey raised an eyebrow, his expression shifting to one of understanding mixed with a hint of surprise. "Oh." Jey nodded slowly, processing your explanation, a small smile threatening to break out on his face. He aint even do anything yet your man was getting all jealous. 

You spotted the smile and groaned, holding your hand in your face in embarrassment. "You said you wouldn't laugh!" you protested, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

Jey chuckled lightly, the smile finally breaking through as he shook his head at the sight of you being bashful. " "I ain't laughin', I'm just... surprised. Seth really got jealous over that?" He shook his head in disbelief before looking back at you with a more serious expression.

You let go of your face and looked up at him, shrugging and Jey felt his heart hurt slightly when your smile was replaced with a frown at the memory of your relationship. 

"It's okay, Y/N. You ain't gotta apologize. Don't worry about it. It's in the past." Jey reassured you, his tone gentle as he placed a hand on your shoulder briefly, a gesture of comfort. "I get it, you needed your space. I just wanted to know you were okay." Seth clearly wasn't a good guy if he was getting you all worked up like this, clearly not appreciating the literal goddess in his life that was you. Roman was right, Seth really was an idiot. 

You offered Jey a grateful smile, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at his understanding. "Thanks, Jey. I appreciate that." Despite the earlier tension, you felt a certain warmth in this moment of connection with him.

Jey nodded, a small smile still playing on his lips before that guarded expression returned. "Anytime. Just... next time, let me know you're taking a break, yeah?" he said, a hint of playful teasing in his voice before his expression turned serious again. "I'll see you around."

 With that, Jey nodded at you before walking away, leaving you to contemplate the unexpected exchange.

And now, you were getting ready to have another training session with him and hopefully break through his tough demeanor. As you were lacing up your sneakers, the door opened, and in popped  in Becky Lynch. You smiled at the sight of one of your closest friends, who was also now the Raw Women's Champion- you couldn't be more proud of her.

But that smile dropped into a frown at the sight of her in near tears, and when her eyes locked onto yours, they seemed to fill with more emotion.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, concerned as you stood up and walked over to her, opening up your arms to her for a hug.

Becky rushed into your arms, her body shaking slightly as she held onto you tightly, her voice muffled against your shoulder. "I-I can't tell you."

You furrowed your brow, concern deepening as you gently rubbed her back. "You can tell me anything, you know that." You brought the both of you to the couch and sat down, waiting for Becky to calm down enough to speak. After a few moments, she took a deep breath and looked at you with teary eyes.

"You're gonna hate me. God, you're so nice and understanding, and I'm about to ruin it." Becky wiped her tears, trying to steady her voice as she spoke. 

"No, you're not." You tried to hug her again, offering reassurance. "Whatever it is, Becky, I won't hate you. Just tell me what's going on."

Becky pulled back slightly, her eyes locking onto yours, a mix of guilt and pain in her gaze. "Seth and I have been sneaking behind your back."

Your heart stopped and your mind went blank. You had a million thoughts rushing through your head, but you couldn't seem to process any of them. The silence lingered between you and Becky as the weight of her confession sank in.

"What?" Your voice turned cold but was barely above a whisper as you processed the words Becky had just confessed. It felt like the ground beneath you had crumbled, leaving you suspended in a state of disbelief.

Becky winced, her gaze filled with remorse and regret. "Yes, we've been seeing each other," Becky admitted, her voice wavering with guilt. "It started a while back. We didn't mean for it to happen, it just... did."

Your throat tightened, and you felt a surge of anger and hurt swirling within you. You had always supported Becky through anything and everything. When she needed someone, you were there for her, yet she betrayed your trust in the worst way possible. And she came in here and hugged you and tried to get your comfort when she was the one who caused you such pain.

It felt like a punch to the gut. You were used. You always gave too much and received betrayal in return. You pulled away from Becky, your expression a mix of shock, hurt, and anger. 

"How long?" The question escaped your lips before you could stop it, your voice barely audible as you fought to maintain composure.

Becky  sighed, her expression pained. "Please, don't make me hurt you even mo-"

"How. Long." Any traces of the kind, caring tone had vanished from your voice, replaced by an icy coldness that mirrored the betrayal and hurt you felt. Your eyes bore into Becky's, demanding an answer despite the turmoil of emotions swirling within you.

Becky sighed heavily, looking down as if unable to meet your gaze. "A few months. I'm so sorry, Y/N. We never meant to hurt you. It just... happened."

"You never meant to hurt me." you repeated, feeling a surge of disbelief and anger rising within you. "While I was dealing with everything, you and Seth... behind my back, and you never meant to hurt me!?" You shouted , your voice cracking with the weight of betrayal and hurt. The pain cut deep, and the sense of betrayal overwhelmed you.

Becky's eyes filled with more tears, her voice shaky as she tried to explain. "It was a mistake, Y/N. Please, I never wanted this to happen. I was just confused, and I know that's not an excuse, but I never wanted to hurt you."

You shook your head in disbelief, feeling anger and heartbreak intertwine within you. "You knew what I was going through. You knew how much I was struggling, and yet, you did this." Your voice wavered as you struggled to comprehend the magnitude of the betrayal. "You came to me for comfort, you acted like nothing was wrong, and all the while... this was happening."

Becky reached out to you, her expression desperate and remorseful. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. Please, I never wanted to hurt you. You are so sweet and kind, I didn't want to tell you because I knew how much this would hurt you, so I thought keeping it to myself would solve that, but I couldn't live with the guilt." She waited for your answer, but when you didn't respond, Becky paused, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. "Please..."

You looked up at Becky, your vision clouded by a mixture of pain, anger, and betrayal. Her desperate plea for forgiveness echoed in your ears and fueled your anger. It was rare that you would get angry, because you couldn't control yourself when it happened, but this was an exception.

 How dare she act sad when she 's the one who caused this pain? How could she deceive you like this? 

You stood up from the couch, distancing yourself from Becky, your eyes red with anger. "You're right, I am sweet and kind." You got up and closed the door, making Becky's eyebrows furrow in concern.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

You ignored her and slowly made your way to her, and Becky could clearly see the anger in your usually sweet eyes. It was terrifying. She realized too late what you were about to do. "Maybe that should change. Right. Now."

Jey sucked his teeth in concern as he made his way down the hallway, checking his phone to see if you messaged him back. You were 20 minutes late, so naturally he got concerned and annoyed at the fact that you were late. Maybe you and Kevin got into another fight? The thought made him walk faster to your locker room.

As he approached the hallway it was in, he heard banging and raised voices and saw  a crowd that was surrounding something. Immediately Jey realized it was your locker room and a knot formed in his stomach.

He quickly pushed through the crowd and saw you holding Becky by the hair and slamming her against the wall, anger etched deeply into your expression, and Seth trying and failing to separate the two of you. 

"You're sorry, Becky!?" You screamed into her face, slamming her into the wall again, punching her over and over again, the anger clouding your judgement. Your nails digged into her skin, and tears streamed down Becky's face as she tried to shield herself from the blows.

Seth tried to intervene, but you grabbed him and slammed him onto the floor, hitting him low before going back to Becky. "The both of you mean nothing to me! Nothing!"

Jey's heart sank at the sight before him. He immediately rushed forward, trying to pry you away from Becky. The look on your face scared him. It was a side of you he had never seen before. "Y/N, stop! Stop it!"

You were consumed by rage, blinded by the betrayal and hurt that coursed through you. It took all of Jey's strength to pull you away from Becky, holding you back as you continued to struggle against his grip, your fists clenched, yearning to lash out again.

You tried to claw at Becky, grabbing her hair but Jey quickly grabbed your hands and restrained you, trying his best to calm you down and keep you from causing more harm. "Y/N, calm down! Please, calm down!"

Becky was visibly shaken, tears streaming down her face as she held her head, the impact against the wall still ringing in her ears. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Please, I never meant to hurt you."

Your adrenaline-fueled rage had consumed you, and you tried to fight off Jey, but he dragged the both of you away from the chaotic scene. He had to use all his strength to hold you back, your struggle showing no sign of ceasing. "Y/N, stop, it's enough! It's over!"

The commotion had attracted the attention of security, who swiftly arrived to help Jey calm the situation. They assisted in separating you from Becky and Seth, guiding each of you to different areas to diffuse the tension.

You were seething with anger and pain, your emotions swirling into a maelstrom that clouded your thoughts. Jey kept a firm grip on you, trying to talk you down. "Y/N, look at me. You need to breathe. You're not thinking straight."

You were too far gone to be responsive to Jey's words. All you could think of was Becky and Seth kissing each other, betraying your trust, and the way they had deceived you. The hurt was overwhelming, clouding any rational thought.

Jey continued to hold onto you, trying his best to calm your raging emotions. "Look at me."

You were shaking with anger and pain, your eyes blazing with an intensity that Jey had never seen before. He knew that trying to reason with you in this state would be futile, but he had to do something to snap you out of this anger-fueled haze.

He grabbed you and hauled you both into the nearest locker room and sat you down on the couch. You were shaking and tried to stand up to make a break for it, but Jey blocked the door, firmly keeping you inside. "Y/N, listen to me. You're not thinking clearly. You need to breathe and calm down."

You glared at Jey, your chest heaving with anger and hurt. "Let me go, Jey. I need to... I need to..."

"You need to calm down first," Jey interrupted, his voice firm but filled with concern. You tried to push past him, but he wouldn't budge. 

Your hands trembled with rage, and you felt an overwhelming urge to lash out again, to confront Becky and Seth, to make them understand the pain they'd caused. But Jey's presence and his calming tone managed to break through the fog of your emotions, albeit slightly.

"You ain't going nowhere, Y/N. What you gon' do is sit ya pretty ass down and some deep breaths for me, drink some water, and try to calm yourself."  Jey instructed, his voice commanding yet filled with genuine care. 

"I can't calm down!" You shouted, the pain evident in your eyes as you tried to push him one last time, until he managed to gently restrain you, forcing you to sit back down on the couch.

Jey sat beside you, maintaining a firm yet comforting grip on your shoulders. "Yes, you can. Take deep breaths with me, okay? In... and out." He demonstrated the rhythm, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, encouraging you to follow suit.

"B-but they-"

Jey gently interrupted you with a reassuring tone. "They ain't worth your peace, Y/N. Right now, you need to focus on you. I know it hurts, but you can't let them see you break. They ain't worth it. You are worth more than that."

You took in a shaky breath, trying to emulate Jey's breathing pattern. Inhaling deeply, you closed your eyes and attempted to regain control over your emotions. Gradually, your breathing began to steady, the adrenaline slowly subsiding.

"That's it." Jey encouraged softly, noticing your attempts to calm down. "Keep breathing. You're doing great." Whenever the anger seemed to rise again, Jey would gently remind you to focus on your breath, guiding you through the calming exercise until your breathing regulated, and the storm of emotions began to ebb away, leaving behind a heavy, lingering ache.

As the initial shock and fury lessened, tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. Jey sensed the shift in your emotions and pulled you into a comforting hug. "It's okay, Y/N. Let it out. You've been through a lot."

You clung to Jey, the dam finally breaking as you sobbed, the weight of betrayal and hurt cascading out of you. Jey held you close, providing a steady presence and a comforting embrace as you allowed the flood of emotions to pour out.

"T-They fucking went behind my back," you choked out between sobs, your voice raw with pain and betrayal. "I trusted them, Jey. I trusted them with everything."

Jey rubbed your back soothingly, offering silent support as you let out the pent-up emotions as he tried to not get angry himself. He would defiantly be beating Seth's ass after this. "I know, Y/N. I know," he murmured gently, his voice filled with empathy.

After what felt like an eternity, your tears eventually subsided into soft sniffles. Jey released you from the hug but kept a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "You did good, calming down like that," he commended softly.

You nodded, feeling emotionally drained but slightly more composed. "Thank you, Jey," you whispered, your voice hoarse from crying.

 "I'm sorry you had to see me like that." You had an embarrassed expression, feeling a mix of shame and gratitude for Jey's support. "Now you know why I usually try to not get angry, cause I'm scared of what it can make me do."

Jey gently shook his head, offering a comforting smile. "Nah, don't apologize. I get it. You honestly reacted better than I would have."

At your hearty chuckle, Jey smiled warmly. "Hey, I'm being serious. If that were me, I'd probably have caused more damage." He chuckled lightly, trying to ease the tension. "But seriously, you did good by calming down. Shows strength."

"Yeah right," You retorted, grabbing the drink from Jey's hand and taking a long sip, grateful for the hydration after the emotional turmoil. "I felt like I was losing it back there."

"That's not a bad thing, y'know?" At your quizzical gaze, Jey continued. "Feeling your emotions, letting 'em out, that's normal. And I know you usually like to be the sweetest person in the room, but that's also letting people walk all over you."

Jey paused, choosing his words carefully. "Jimmy is the same way, y'know? He is the kindest soul, but sometimes folks take advantage of that. You gotta find the balance, Y/N. If you wanna be in the Bloodline, you can't let nobody mess with you. You gotta let your inner rage out, otherwise ain't nobody gonna respect you or see you as an equal."

You sighed, capping the water bottle and nodding slowly at Jey's words. "Yeah, I know. It's just... it's hard to find that balance sometimes. I don't want to hurt people, you know? I try to be understanding and kind, but then things like this happen." You glanced away, still processing the whirlwind of emotions.

"I know you don't," Jey reassured, patting your shoulder gently. "But sometimes, folks need to see that you ain't to be messed with. It's about respect, and right now, you need to focus on you."

You nodded, knowing he was right. You always tried to be the peacekeeper, but it was more of a weakness than a strength. "You're right, but when I get mad I tend to lose control. That's why I try to not get angry. I don't want to hurt anyone."

Jey gave you a sympathetic and understanding look. "I get it. But you gotta stop being this goody two-shoes all the time. It's eating you up inside. You gotta learn to stand up for yourself and let people know when they cross the line. That anger? You gotta embrace it cause it's a part of you.

You sighed, feeling torn between your innate nature and the advice Jey was offering. "I'll try, Jey. But it's hard. I don't want to become someone I'm not."

"You won't. I won't let you." You blinked at the kindness and conviction in Jey's tone. "I know I haven't been the most welcoming person, but that's cause I have trouble opening up to people. But I see you, Y/N. I see how much you care, how much you try. How you are loyal to the core." Jey paused, his expression softening. "And I know you'll be loyal to the Bloodline, right?" 

You didn't hesitate to nod in response. "Of course, Jey. Always." Despite the whirlwind of emotions, your loyalty was unwavering. "I appreciate you opening up to me, and I can promise you that I won't betray that trust."

Jey smiled, satisfied with your response. "Good. I need you to be loyal, because... I really like having you around. But I can't have you 'round if you ain't loyal to the family. And I know you and K.O got some history..."

"That's in the past." You interjected, trying to dismiss any concerns Jey might have. "Kevin and I have our differences, but I am done with him and anyone else that is a problem for us. I promise you." You gently laid a hand on Jey's arm, reassuring him of your commitment.

Jey stayed silent for a moment, staring at you as if he could see inside your soul, seeing if your words held true. After a moment, he nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"Okay. But it ain't up to me if that's true, it's up to the chief." You gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before his phone dinged and he glanced at the notification.

"It's the Chief, he wants to see you." Jey pocketed his phone before holding out his hand to you, helping you stand up from the couch.

You nodded, accepting Jey's assistance as you stood up, feeling a little more composed than earlier.

"Thanks, Jey. Walk me to him?" You asked, feeling a bit more confident asking considering he told you he likes you now. Jey gave you an affirming nod. "Sure thing. Let's go."

As the two of you walked through the corridors, Jey kept a close eye on you, making sure you were holding up okay after the intense emotional outburst.

When you reached Roman's office, before you grabbed the door handle, Jey grabbed your hand and spoke in a hushed tone, his voice serious yet supportive. His hand felt soft and comforting as he gripped yours gently. "Y/N, I got your back. Just be honest with the Chief, alright? He can see through lies. Just tell him what happened."

You met Jey's gaze, appreciating the sincerity in his eyes. "I will, Jey. Thank you, really." With a deep breath, you nodded to signal that you were ready to face Roman. Jey gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing it, standing back as you opened the door and entered Roman's office.

Roman glanced up from his desk, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern as he noticed your state. "Y/N, come in." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk. "Care to tell me what happened?"

You internally winced at Roman's tone. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts before speaking. "It's Becky and Seth, Chief." Your voice wavered slightly as the flood of emotions threatened to resurface. "They've been... they've been sneaking around, behind my back. And I just exploded."

Roman's brow furrowed as he observed your demeanor, his expression turning serious. "Explain."

You recounted the events that had unfolded, detailing Becky's confession and the subsequent emotional turmoil you'd experienced. Roman listened attentively, his expression unreadable as he took in every word you spoke.

"And you lost control," Roman summarized, his tone stern yet controlled.

You nodded, feeling a sense of guilt for having lost your composure. "Yes, Chief. I'm sorry, I just... I couldn't handle it."

"No, you handled it perfectly." You furrowed your brow in confusion at Roman's unexpected response.

"Look, I am sorry for the emotional turmoil you are experiencing right now, make no mistake about it." Roman clarified, his tone softer now. "But this angry, out of control, fiery and real version of you is what I wanted out of you. What I am working to get out of you. Not the meek and docile version. That version isn't strong, it's weak. I want you to be strong. I need you to be strong."

Roman leaned back in his chair, his gaze thoughtful.  "I told you that I wanted you to join the Bloodline because I needed someone to be loyal, strong, and willing to stand their ground. You proved that today. I didn't ask you to join for a moment. I didn't ask you to join because I thought you were just going to be another face in the group. I asked you to join because I saw something in you. And what I saw today? That's what I've been waiting for."

You were taken aback by Roman's words, his perspective catching you off guard. You expected reprimand, not validation for your display of raw emotion. "Though attacking without running it by me is not the usual protocol, I appreciate the fire in you, Y/N. Loyalty and strength are the cornerstones of the Bloodline. Today is an exception."

Roman leaned forward, his gaze intense as he met your eyes. "But you won't do that again without my permission, you understand me?"

You nodded quickly, Roman's tone making the gravity of the situation clear. Yes, Chief. I won't let it happen again without your say-so."

Roman leaned back, his expression shifting to a more contemplative one. "Now, as for Becky and Seth..." He paused, his gaze piercing through you. "They've made their bed. But that doesn't mean we let this slide."

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of trepidation and curiosity about what Roman might do next. "What do you want me to do?"

Roman leaned forward again, his tone low but firm. "Remember the test of loyalty, Y/N?" Roman's voice was a low rumble, filled with authority. "This is yours. I want you to observe them. Gain their trust. Make them believe everything is fine, that you've forgiven them."

Your eyes widened slightly at the magnitude of the task. It was a test of your loyalty and acting skills. "But Chief, I'm not sure I can do that. After what they did..."

Roman's gaze hardened, his voice brooking no argument. "This is a test, Y/N. You wanted to be part of the Bloodline, and this is what it entails. I need to know you're capable of playing the game when needed. You don't have to forgive them. You don't even have to mean a word of what you say to them. But you'll do it for the family. Understood?"

You nodded, albeit reluctantly, understanding the gravity of the situation. "Yes, Chief. I'll do it."

Roman leaned forward again, his tone low but firm. "I want you to show them where their place is in the hierarchy of the Bloodline. They've disrespected you and the family. At Elimination Chamber, I need you to take that title from Becky. Make her think it's a non-personal rivalry, make her believe she's going up against just another challenger. But I want you to make it personal. Show her the consequence of betrayal. Show her what happens when you mess with us. Mess with you, my right hand woman."

You wanted to argue with him, but the taste of revenge was bittersweet on your tongue. However, you couldn't deny the commanding presence of Roman's orders. "I understand, Chief. I'll make sure to handle it."

"Good." Roman's tone softened slightly.  "I want that title, Y/N. That title belongs with us, with the Bloodline. Show Becky why betraying the family has consequences. Make her feel it. And remember, this is only the beginning of your test."

You shot Roman a confused look. "What do you mean, Chief?"

Roman leaned back in his chair, his gaze steady as he regarded you. "Becky and Seth crossed a line, and their actions won't go unpunished. Jey will handle Seth at Elimination Chamber as well as the other competitors- Kevin, Sami, Daniel Bryan and Cesaro."

Roman gave you a knowing look when he mentioned your two former best friends. It seemed Roman had devised a plan, a grander scheme beyond just your personal feud. "But at the end of Elimination Chamber, you will understand what I mean. You will begin to see the bigger picture. This is your initiation into the family, and it starts with showing your loyalty and strength. Do you understand?"

You nodded, feeling the weight of Roman's words and the task he had assigned you. "Yes, Chief. I'll do what needs to be done."

Roman seemed satisfied with your response. "Good. I trust you'll handle this accordingly." He leaned back in his chair, signaling the end of your conversation. "I know you have a big heart. But trust me, this isn't about revenge. This is about power and control. This is about securing our dominance in this business. There are no good guys or bad guys, there are just humans who have been betrayed and those who betrayed. And sometimes you have to hurt before you get justice."

Roman's words echoed in your mind, leaving a sense of determination mingled with the weight of the task ahead. He was right. You need to be focused on what's best for you instead of what you think is right. Morals had no high ground here, only the will to survive and dominate. And you wanted to dominate.

"Thank you, Chief. I won't let you down," you replied, steeling yourself for the challenges that lay ahead.

Roman nodded in acknowledgment, his expression unreadable yet reassuring. "You're dismissed, Y/N. Focus on what you need to do. The family comes first."

With a nod, you rose from the chair, feeling a mix of determination and apprehension about the tasks ahead. You left Roman's office, the weight of his instructions heavy on your shoulders.

As you exited Roman's office, Jey caught your eye, and you shared a brief glance. He approached you, a serious yet supportive look in his eyes. "You good?"

You nodded, albeit with a hint of uncertainty. "Yeah, I'll manage."

Jey placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, offering you a reassuring smile. "You got this, Y/N. Just remember, do what you gotta do. Roman's got a plan. He's doing this for the family. The Bloodline. For you. You have to do whatever he asked of you. You have to obey, or you'll get hurt. I can't let you get hurt." It seemed like Jey didn't plan on saying the last sentence out, but he didn't waver. Instead he paused, gauging your reaction.

You nodded, acknowledging Jey's advice, and reciprocated with a grateful expression. "Thanks, Jey. I appreciate it, appreciate you." You thought of hugging him, but decided against it, not wanting to make Jey uncomfortable.

Instead, you gave Jey a thankful nod and a small smile.

Jey patted your shoulder once more before stepping back. You're welcome. Take care of yourself, alright? I'll see you tomorrow, we can grab some food. Lord knows you need it, I haven't seen you eat any snacks at the back." Jey joked lightly, trying to lift your spirits.

You chuckled softly, grateful for Jey's attempt to lighten the mood. "I'll try not to starve, Jey. Thanks for looking out for me."

He gave you a playful nod before stepping back, letting you proceed on your path. "Of course. See you tomorrow, girl."

As walked away, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions swirling within you. The weight of Roman's orders and the task at hand lay heavy on your mind. The idea of deceiving Becky and Seth, all the while planning your revenge, felt conflicting. But you knew what was at stake - your loyalty to the Bloodline and the need to assert your place within it. Could you really act like everything was fine when, in reality, you were seething with anger and hurt?

You spotted Becky about to leave, and decided you could.

"Hey, Becky!" She looked up at her name being called, and you approached her with a composed demeanor, despite the turmoil within you. She seemed scared when you came closer to her, as if expecting you to physically lash out again. However, you maintained your calm, albeit somewhat strained, composure.

"Hey, Y/N," Becky greeted cautiously, her voice tinged with apprehension.

You took a deep breath, trying to mask the storm of emotions brewing inside you. "I just wanted to say that I appreciate your honesty earlier. It took a lot of courage to confess." The words felt hollow leaving your lips, but you knew this was part of the task Roman had assigned.

Becky looked surprised by your response, her eyes darting with uncertainty. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I never wanted to hurt you. It's eating me up inside."

You gave her a small, forced smile. "I understand, Becky. I was angry earlier, but I took some time to calm down, and I realized that I appreciate you coming clean."

Your voice sounded composed, almost unnaturally so, as you forced yourself to maintain a calm façade. "Is Seth okay? I hit him when I was angry."

Becky seemed taken aback by your composed demeanor, but she nodded, trying to hide her surprise. "He's fine. Just a little shaken up, but he'll be okay." She paused, studying your face for any signs of the anger she had witnessed earlier. "Are you... okay, Y/N?"

You nodded, masking your true emotions behind a façade of calmness. "I'm fine, Becky. Just needed some time to cool off." The words felt like a lie, but you knew you had to play your part in this act.

"I am hurt, but you are one of my closest friends, and I don't want out friendship to end like this, Becks." You forced a smile, hoping it appeared genuine.

Becky's expression softened with a hint of relief. "I'm really sorry, Y/N. I hope we can work through this somehow. I hate that I hurt you."

You nodded, trying to maintain the charade of forgiveness. "I'm sure we'll figure something out. How about I ride with you to the next show tonight? We can talk more then, if you want."

Becky looked surprised at your offer, clearly not expecting this response. "Uh, yeah, sure. That would be great, actually."

You nodded, trying to hide the turmoil within you as you made plans to continue this act. "Alright then, lemme grab my stuff and we'll be on our way." You tried to keep your tone neutral, not wanting to reveal the depths of your true feelings.

Before you left, you walked closer to Becky and wrapped her in a tight but short hug, trying to appear as if everything was normal. "I'll see you outside in a bit, okay?"

Becky returned the hug tentatively, still wary after the earlier altercation. "Yeah, see you."

With that, you turned away, your façade slipping for a moment as you clenched your fists in frustration and pain. Unbeknownst to you, Paul was lurking in the shadows, reporting to Roman and making sure you weren't acting out of line.

"Everything's going to plan, my Tribal Chief."

Roman responded after a couple of seconds, smirking to himself as he laid back in his chair. 

"Good. I knew she could do it.  Becky and Seth are first, Sami is a non-variable, and mark my words, Kevin is next. 

Do you think she can follow through with our plan at Elimination Chamber, my tribal chief? Becky is one thing, Kevin is another.

A flurry of bubbles appeared on Paul's phone for a moment before Roman replied, his message filled with unwavering confidence.

"She will. Don't doubt your Tribal Chief. Y/N might have a big heart, but she knows where her loyalty lies. And soon, everyone will understand what happens when you cross the Bloodline."

And soon they will.  

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[seeingivy]

the time of your life

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic, masterlist here

content: character death (LOL), very immature fifteen year old humor (that was cross confirmed with real fifteen year olds), idk reader and eren being mad corny

an: tried my best to make this chapter fun but I will just POST WHAT I HAVE BUT THE NEXT ONE IS ONE OF MY FAVS IM SO EXCITED

previous part linked here

--

Things settle down after the panel, and Eren convinces you to put all your energy into finishing the season. Because you’re going to prove them wrong and now you just have to do it. And as much effort as you put in, the rest of them all make it fun too. 

And Eren’s right. 

They really are great - funny, charismatic, and idiotic in their own ways. 

The inside jokes start one week after filming when you’ve finally learned everyone’s names. And, of course, it starts with Reiner. You and Historia are so tired after filming that you quickly run back to the townhouse just to get snacks from the main kitchen. With the mention of food, Sasha’s following, and then Connie, suddenly, everyone’s marching back together. 

Except when you get there, Reiner is in the kitchen. Not only is he shirtless, but he’s also doing some next-level opera singing. For some reason, he’s trying to sing both parts of the Phantom of the Opera and… actually succeeding?

Connie leans over, whispering. 

“Look at those mommy milkers.” 

You all burst out laughing, which stops Reiner in his tracks. And he momentarily stops and scratches his head before he keeps singing, this time serenading all of you. He’s taking Ymir by the hand and swinging her around and holding hands with Jean as they rock back and forth that even Mikasa’s snorting at the sight of him. You're all sold after that. 

Speaking of Mikasa, as solemn and quiet as she can be, she’s gotten you into quite a bit of trouble. Trouble meaning severe back pain. When she first moved into your room, she mentioned that she was a bit of an early riser. She likes to work out to get her blood moving before shooting, claiming that “it gets her in the zone.” 

Somehow, she convinces you and Sasha to join her one morning, and by the end of it, Jean and Marco are dragging you both back to the house by your legs, having to shove the two of you in an ice bath. 

You just didn’t realize that an early riser meant four in the morning, and working out means an all-intensive full-body press. Levi’s pissed at you and Sasha for being stupid enough to think you could keep up and you’re both mad at Levi for having such little faith in you. 

In true dad fashion, Levi’s always lecturing you guys. More like pretending to be mad, berating you around the set. But you know that he cares because the second that you guys ask him for something, no matter how stupid it is, he’ll be the first to give in. 

Exhibit A? Marco and Jean recently find out that Levi became a triple threat from doing his own stunts on Bond - including a quadruple flip. They’re both so intrigued by it that every time they see Levi, they force him to do it. 

“Levi.” 

“No, Marco. I’m not going to do a flip.” 

“Do a flip! Levi, please please please please please do a flip. It’s just so fucking cool.” 

“Watch your language, Jean. You need to wash your mouth out with soap.” 

“I won’t say fuck for a week if you flip, Levi. Please!” Jean says, shaking Levi’s hands as he talks. 

Levi begrudgingly rolls his eyes and then backflips in the living room, earning half hearted cheers. It was cool the first eleven times, but Jean literally asks him to do it daily. It gets old fast. 

“That was so fucking cool, Levi! Thanks.” Jean says, running off. He bumps into Sasha, who's clearly going to throw up as she runs past. 

Levi’s sick and tired of Jean. And Hange too. And himself for thinking that filming with a bunch of teenagers was going to be a good idea. 

After finding out that Sasha will quite literally eat anything you put in front of her, Hange’s started a dangerously horrible game of seeing what Sasha will eat without paying attention to it.

Ketchup on watermelon, ice cream with salt in it, cake with mayo. It’s become so disgusting that you can’t tell who people are more grossed out with - Hange for making the concoction or Sasha for eating it. (It’s Sasha) 

Armin’s taken maybe twenty before and after pictures of Sasha during these “experiments” that Hange runs and then sticks them onto the kitchen wall - perfectly labeled with the food Sasha ate underneath them. 

And he loves taking pictures so much that there’s now a big wall at the front of the set of just individual and group pictures, Armin’s little pictures and commentary tacked to the wall. 

One of Jean and Sasha playing video games, labeled “the great war” 

Another one of Ymir and Bertholdt tackling each other, labeled “ice cream gate” 

And one of Eren pinching your cheek, labeled “the l/n-jaegers” 

Right. In another life, you’re all convinced that Connie was destined to work for the paparazzi. Because every time you and Eren are together, he somehow manages to capture a picture at the worst time - making something innocent look like totally not.

Like when you and Eren share a blanket on set because there’s only one left. Or when he helps you put the harnesses on and his hands are around your waist for two seconds . When you guys share the breakfast burritos on set because they’re too big to eat alone. With context, they’re not that bad. 

But Connie always catches it at the worst time and then posts it to his fucking TikTok account. His stupid series has garnered millions of views, and you’ve both tried to convince him to stop, to which he refuses

And when you tried to get Erwin involved, he only supported Connie more - stating it was good press for the show. He’s named the series “the l/n-jaegers” hence the label on the polaroid.  

There’s currently 32 different parts. 

But you know you can’t stop him even if you tried because Connie proves to be the most menacing idiot on set. Him and Annie have developed a horrible habit of pranking everyone on around - Levi, Hange, and Erwin specifically. It’s not that Annie loves pranks, she’s just the only one who can keep a straight face. 

“Hey Hange.” 

“What’s up, Annie?” 

“There’s this guy who works in hair and makeup. He has a few ideas for the Female Titan costume design. He wants to talk to you.” 

“Oh. What’s his name?” 

“Ben Dover.” responds Connie, the look on his and Annie’s faces blank. 

“Ben Dover?” Hange repeats the rest of you, trying you shoving your faces into the script to stop laughing as they respond. 

“Yeah. They said they’ve talked to Erwin before. He’s been working with Hugh Jass, on the makeup team.” says Annie. 

Erwin walks over, the look on his face confused. And it just gets worse. 

“Who is Hugh Jass? I’ve never seen him before.” 

“Oh, he’s hard to miss. Really big guy,” responds Connie, his face breaking a little. 

Levi walks over, and when Annie talks again, it’s the final nail in the coffin. You and Eren are literally smacking your hands over each other's mouths, the tears spilling out of your eyes to not give them away. 

“Okay, we’ll go over there now. Thanks for telling us Annie, Connie.” 

“Cool! They’re waiting with Ben Overbich.” 

“What?” 

“Ben Overbich. It’s Swedish, sir.” Annie responds. 

Levi shrugs as he, Hange, and Erwin walk off to go to talk to the costume designers. And when they all walk away, you’re all panting on the floor, gasping for breath. Connie keeps mimicking Erwin, saying Hugh Jass, and Berholdt keeps quoting it’s Swedish sir, which doesn’t make it any better. 

When they return, Levi and Erwin are all yanking you by the ears onto the set since the costume team told them what the jokes actually meant. And there’s something so presidential about Erwin naturally that when he starts lecturing you, it starts feeling like he’s giving a sermon. 

“You guys are premier faces in the industry. Imagine how people would feel if they found out you were making crude jokes like you were fifteen years old.” 

“Sir.” 

“Yes, Ymir.” 

“We are fifteen years old.” 

You’re all snickering as Erwin continues, Hange rolling their eyes as he goes on. 

“You should know better. Ben Dover is not a funny joke. Huge asses are nothing to laugh about. You should wish to have that type of issue.” 

Jean leans over, whispering in yours and Eren’s ear. 

“The divine truths of humanity.” 

You laugh and Erwin stares you down, Eren smacking you for laughing out loud. 

“Y/N. Up.” 

You groan as stand next to him, the lot of them laughing at you, as Erwin stares you down. 

“Erwin.” 

“Y/N. What did you learn in class yesterday?” 

“Uh. States and capitals?” 

“Perfect. Name them all.” 

You groan. Of course, you get stuck with Erwin and his weird punishments. He always quizzes you guys on random stuff from your classes when you take too long on set or are late to a table read. And you’re usually free from that, but Jean’s stupid comment got you. 

“Uh. Okay. California is Los Angeles.” 

“Wrong. It’s Sacramento.” 

“I’m Canadian, Erwin. This isn’t even fair.”  

He shakes his head dismissively as you keep going, literally getting every single one wrong. And when you reach the fifth incorrect state, Eren takes his stand, helping you with the rest of them. 

“Eren. No one asked you if you knew the states and capitals.” Erwin says, pinching both of your ears as they all laugh.

“Can’t leave my girl hanging here.” 

“Your girl?” repeats Connie and the rest of them widen their eyes, leaving you and Eren to be met with a bunch of “oohs” and “aahs”

Which only flusters Eren even more. And makes your cheeks burn.

“That’s-that’s not what I meant! It’s because we’re co-stars! Like the leads, that’s why she’s my girl! Not any weird reason.” Eren stammers, the tips of his ears pink and his eyes not meeting yours. 

No one believes him. 

-

“Eren.” 

“Hm.” 

“Hot sauce.” 

He leans over in the chair, opening the packet of hot sauce and handing it to you. The crew got breakfast burritos again , meaning you and Eren were slouched up in your chairs eating. The scene that was being filmed was primarily a scene for Jean and Marco, but you and Eren always love to watch everyone else act. 

There’s something about the energy on set - Levi directing everyone around, everyone getting in the zone that gets you excited. All jittery and nervous and thrilled that people are going to see this amazing thing that is airing in a few weeks. 

You hand Eren the burrito and he instinctively reaches forward, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. His green eyes focused on your lips and you can feel your heart rising into your throat. 

“Eren.” 

He looks up, right into your eyes. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Oh, my bad. You had some sauce on your lip.” 

And then he takes the excess sauce and licks it off his finger. 

“Did you just-” 

“Y/N, be quiet. They’re starting.” 

You try your best to focus on the scene but all you can think about is yours and Eren’s knees bumping against each other, your fingers brushing across as you share the food, and Eren licking the sauce off of his finger. You try to brush it off as you lean over and whisper into his space.

“What scene is this, Eren?” 

“Don’t remember. I was so busy trying to check my own lines I forgot to read ahead.” 

You nod as Eren scoots closer, the two of you leaning forward as you start paying attention to the scene. Jeans walks closer and that’s when you realize it - Marco leaning against the wall, all charred and slumped over. 

“Hey. Are you…. Marco?” Jean whispers, his voice shaking. 

Eren instinctively reaches for your hand, crushing it in his hold. You look over to find Sasha and Bertholdt giving you the same confused looks as you all keep watching, Jean acting on. It seems like no one read the scene before watching it. 

Jean’s a good actor. Such a good actor that you think he’s actually crying, that his voice is actually wavering. And that’s when you realize it. 

Marco just died. 

Your mind is running at a million miles per hour. Does that mean he’s leaving? He’s not going to be in the show anymore? You guys were all supposed to spend four or five years together filming together, but how is that fair if he’s already dead? That isn’t even an entire season-

Eren’s squeezing your hand into oblivion as the tears are falling out of his eyes, his face looking all types of broken as you glance over. 

“Member of the 104th Cadet Corps and Captain of Squad 19… Marco Bodt.”  

The director calls cut and the crew starts moving around, Jean helping Marco up from the ground as he brushes the tears out of his eyes. And when you catch sight of Erwin, you’re blazing fire angry. And it seems like you’re not the only one, because Ymir and Mikasa are following your suit. 

“Erwin. What the hell?” you say. 

Erwin and Levi look down at the three of you, confused. 

“You can’t just kill Marco! That’s not fair, the show hasn’t even started yet and you already killed him off.” Reiner says, crossing his arms. 

“Erwin. Cut it out of the show. You can’t do this.” Mikasa responds, glaring at him. 

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose as he bends down, Erwin joining him so you’re all level heights. For some reason, angry tears are building in your eyes and your chest is burning, because…you miss Marco. And he’s not even gone yet. And it’s not fair that he died so soon and his character is all but sweet, so why does he have to die and-

Levi places his hands on yours and Reiner’s shoulders as he talks, his voice soft. 

“Are you guys upset that he’s going to be leaving?” 

You all nod, the tears finally flowing out of your eyes and streaming down. You can see that Reiner’s crying too, Mikasa swallowing her own tears. 

“Yeah. Erwin, Levi he’s our friend. And I’ve never really had friends like this and I don’t want him to go away and-” you choke out, stammering on your words. 

Levi squeezes your shoulder as you hiccup and Erwin leans forward to press all three of you in a hug. Levi’s hands are in your hair, whispering something under his breath about how you’re all sweet kids. 

They both let you go and you look over to find Marco, still in his death makeup, hugging Eren, who has tears streaming down his eyes too. And when you walk over, Marco opens up his other arm, you and Eren and Jean and almost everyone crushing him into a hug, the discomfort sitting in your chest. 

As you all trail back to the townhouse after set, quiet for once, you’re all milling around the main room, aimlessly. You and Armin are playing a very underwhelming game of Uno, Reiner and Marco half-assedly playing Mario Kart, and Mikasa’s teaching Ymir how to braid her hair. 

Hange walks in and plops down between you and Armin, the polaroid camera in her hand. 

“Hey, you guys.” 

“Hi Hange.” you both mutter, flipping the cards down. 

“Got an idea. You know, this shows kind of… dramatic . A lot more of the characters are going to die, but it doesn’t have to be a sad thing.” 

“It is sad. That means Marco’s leaving and we won’t see him anymore.” you say, boring your eyes into Hange’s. 

They lean forward to pinch your cheek, softly laughing as they continue talking. 

“You’re so sweet. He’ll be back to film other scenes, yeah? And you’ll definitely see him again.” 

You both nod, agreeing with Hange. They hand the camera to Armin, whispering the plan in his ears and then duck out of the hallway. And when you and Armin have everything you need - the industrial box of Rocky Road ice cream and the camera - you head to the center of the room, Armin standing on the couch to get everyone’s attention. 

“When you fall off, I’m going to fucking laugh at you, Arlert.” says Ymir, looking up from braiding Sasha’s hair. 

“Shut up, Ymir. Listen, we should make a deal. Every time a character dies, we all eat ice cream. Play games, stay up late, and then at the end of the night we’ll add their picture to the wall. So we don’t forget them . Like, one last hurrah or whatever. ” Armin says. 

“You sound like Hange.” Annie mutters, flicking Reiner in the forehead. 

“It was their idea. But we should. If Marco’s leaving in a few days, I want to spend all the time I can with him, having fun and-” 

“Yeah. I want to.” says Marco, which has almost all of you agreeing.

You and Armin start by opening the tub of ice cream, all eleven of you refusing to get bowls and instead leaning over, bumping heads as you eat. 

“Eren. Move your big head.” 

“Shut the fuck up Connie. Your bald head is bigger than mine.” 

You all start snickering as the two of them argue, smacking each other and rolling off the couch. And when Marco suggests that you play truth or dare, you all start nervously giggling as you go around the circle, all jittery from the sugar in the ice cream.

Reiner asks Connie to share the last dream that he had, which he begrudgingly shares is that he kissed Ymir. Ymir is thoroughly disgusted. Historia gets dared to call Erwin dad by accident, which just leads to Erwin giving Historia a lecture about how he appreciates that she can see him as a father figure and that he is already very proud of all of the work Historia has put in. 

Bertholdt has to eat a spoonful of mayo, which he consequently throws up and Armin gets dared to steal something from the set. He takes Levi’s coffee cup and hides it in the storage room, which he is sure to get an earful for later. 

“Eren. Truth or Dare?” Connie asks. 

“Dare.” 

“Kiss your favorite person in the room on the cheek.” 

They all start giggling as they stare you down, your cheeks burning at the thought of Eren pressing his lips to yours. Connie and Bertholdt are making kissy faces at you, Ymir and Annie leaning over to pinch your cheeks. 

And you brace yourself, for when Eren’s going to press his lips into your skin. Except he doesn’t.  He leans over and kisses Armin on the cheek and you try your best to hide your…disappointment? Sadness? But that’s on you. 

Why would you assume you’re Eren’s favorite person on set? 

Everyone boos at Eren for picking a copout answer and you pretend not to be offended as you keep playing the game. And on hour two of playing, Levi comes and yells at you all to shut the fuck up and go to bed , which leads to Armin taking the picture of Marco - all cheesing and smiley and tacking it to the wall. Connie takes a sharpie and labels the wall “fly high angel” to mark the occasion. 

Except his dumbass writes angle instead of angel. 

You all shuffle back to your rooms, giggling and laughing, and you and Eren giving each other a smile as you switch into your respective rooms. 

- 

You hear a knock on your door and instantly jump up, ready to duck out of set to go get slushies with Eren. Except when you swing the door open, Jean’s standing at your store instead of Eren. 

“Oh. Hi Jean.” 

“Hi…is-” 

“She’s in the shower. You’re welcome to wait for her here if you’d like?” 

You swing the door open and he flops onto Mikasa’s bed, watching your fan spin around on the ceiling. 

You’re not sure what it is or why Jean and Mikasa are assuaged from the barrage of teasing and cooing that you and Eren get whenever you’re around each other, because you’re almost a thousand percent sure that the two of them are worse than you and Eren. 

Because they actually like each other. You’ve often come home from filming or playing games with Bertholdt and Historia to find the two of them sitting on the floor, holding hands while watching a movie. Or Jean giving Mikasa bracelets or telling her that he thinks she’s really pretty. 

Maybe they’re not paying attention and that the only person who knows is you. Or maybe it’s because they don’t turn red or deny their feelings, because they actually like each other. You and Eren aren’t like that, because in earnest, you two really are just friends. 

“You okay? Your room must be pretty empty.” 

Marco moved out earlier today. Not a single dry eye in the room. 

“Yeah, that’s kinda why I came. Sometimes it just feels kind of lonely, but I think Levi and Erwin might move someone in with me or put me with Connie or something.” 

“That’s nice. It’ll be fun to have a roommate.” 

He nods, cracking his fingers as the shower runs behind the two of you. 

“Hey Jean.” 

“Hm.” 

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” 

“Shoot.”

You sit up, hopping off your desk chair and onto the bed where Jean was sitting. He’s leaned back against Mikasa’s perfectly propped pillows, lazily swinging the charm of his necklace back and forth on the chain. 

“How do you know you like Mikasa?” 

He looks up from his chain, giving you an inquisitive look, before answering. 

“Dunno. I like being around her. Like, whenever I’m in a room, the person I want to be next to is her. Or the first person I tell good news to and I want her to know like…random things about me. My moms name, my first pet, how I hate my first grade teacher. I just like to share things with her. Like how it feels when I'm with her you know - like...like that's Mikasa. She's my girlfriend."  

“Oh. Okay, that makes sense.” 

He nods, plopping back down on her pillows and twisting the chain in his hands again. 

You halfheartedly nod as Mikasa rolls out of the bathroom, giving you two smiles as she takes the seat next to Jean. You give the two of them a smile as you pad out of the room and straight into Eren and Armin’s across. 

“Hi. Mind if I sit? Jean and Mika are-” 

“Sure.” Eren says, scooting over on his bed and patting on the sheets. 

“Where’s Min?” 

“Ah. With Erwin. I think he’s taking the Marco thing kind of hard.” 

You nod, shuffling on the bed as Eren shuts his laptop, leaning back onto the headboard. 

“Are you okay, Eren? With him being gone?” 

“Feels weird. It kind of just makes me nervous for who else will leave us, you know?” 

Us. 

“Yeah.” 

Eren tangles his hand with yours at your side, taking turns cracking each of the knuckles on your fingers. 

“Do you ever wonder why they tease us so much? For being friends?” 

He angles his head over, the wisps of his brown hair tickling on your forehead.

“Like. Mikasa and Jean really like each other. They’re always holding hands in my room and-”

“What? They like each other?” 

“I think so. I don’t know, they’ve never really hid it from me.” 

“Well, you’re sweet. You’d never make fun of them for that. I had no idea that they liked each other. They’re probably just not outward with it in front of everyone else.” 

“And we aren’t outward with anything. I don’t know, we just act normal and they’re always like saying this stuff about how you and I-” 

“Y/N.” 

You stop talking as he squeezes your hand three times, almost like a little knock signaling you to stop talking. 

“I think they just… don’t get us. You and I are special. I just feel like I’ve known you forever and that we really fit together and I think they can sense that or something. And they think it’s romantic even if it’s not, you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

He squeezes your hand three more times, the words knocking through your head. Special. Fit together. Not romantic. He leans over, green eyes staring into yours. 

“You and me. Always?” 

You nod, swallowing hard as you lean back. 

“Plus. They can’t kill us off. We’re the main characters.” 

- 

You shuffle in your seat as the director yells action, as you look down at Eren, tied up against the post in the middle of the set. You’re filming the scene where Levi is supposed to just kick Eren’s ass in the middle of the court, to prove to the other characters that they can control him and his titan powers. 

Except you’re on your fifth take of this scene, Eren getting increasingly frustrated because Levi’s been yelling at him all morning, claiming that he isn’t acting good enough for the scene. Levi’s a bit of a perfectionist, meaning he won’t let anyone leave until the scene is perfect the way he wants it. 

Eren especially. You could always tell that Levi was always more fond of Eren than everyone else, but you never thought that would mean Levi would be extra harsh on him. Which is clearly just pissing Eren off today. 

“Maybe we should dissect her just in case!”

“Wait. Maybe I am a monster, but she has nothing to do with that! Nothing at all!” Eren screams, his voice straining and his eyes pinching shut as he wrestles against the handcuffs. 

“As if we could believe you!” 

“It’s a fact!” 

“You’re defending her? She must be one of you!” 

“No!” 

Levi stomps into the middle of the set, leaning down and getting level with Eren. And then he starts yelling at him. 

“Eren. You can do so much better than that. You have to give it your all or this isn’t going to work.” 

“I am giving it my all. You’ve had me working for five hours now and I-”

“So? You have to get used to that type of time commitment if you want to be the best like you said you did and-” 

Eren and Levi keep going back and forth, Hange signaling at you from the back of the set as you both arise from your chairs, leaning down to meet them. 

“Levi. Go easy on him, we’ve been-” Hange starts, 

“No. He can do better than this and I know he can. He just doesn’t want to. If he would just put in a little effort, it would be better.” 

“Levi, maybe you’re being too harsh on him-” you start. 

Levi rolls his eyes as he stands up, calling for a break as you unhook Eren from the post. The second you unlock him, he storms off straight off of the set. 

“Hange.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Can you take a longer break from us? I’ll talk to him.” 

“I’ll talk to Levi. He just…he knows Eren can be really good. That he has potential. He’s just trying to get him there faster because he wants Eren to do well.” 

“I know, Hange.” 

You shoot them a smile as you run into the storage closet, yanking out the tandem bike and heading to find Eren. 

- 

You kick the rocks in front of you as you hand Eren the slushie, anxiously looking over at him. He’s still radiating anger, from the way his shoulders are tense and how his knuckles are nearly white against the cup. The two of you biked in silence and even the cashier could tell Eren was having some type of fit today. 

“Eren.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

He sighs as he leans into your touch, resting his head against your shoulder. 

“I just-I’m trying really hard to get it. And Levi’s always just so hard on me, I can’t even tell if I’m doing a good job or if I can do this or-” 

You reach down, crushing his hand in your hold, as you respond. 

“Eren. You’re doing a really great job. Even Levi thinks that. He just… he knows you’re great and he’s trying to tap into that.” 

“I know, it just makes me wonder sometimes if I’m cut out for this. Or that Best Actor savant that I-” 

“Eren. You’re going to get it. I know that for a fact. It might not be this season or the next, but you will get it. You’re- you’re literally amazing, I just know you’ll be one of the best of our generation and-” 

“You’re just saying that because-” 

“I’m not! I really do think that, I- I’d even bet on it for you. You’re the best person for this role and you’re perfect for it and in general too and I just think you should be more confid-”

“Y/N, I-”

“Like really, I think you have the chops to be great. I can’t even believe I have to be your costar because I am infinitely mediocre next to you when you’re just so amazing and already have so many credits and-” 

You’re cut off by Eren’s lips on your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your skin. You reach up to the skin as you look over at him, positively bug eyed. 

“You-why would y-” 

“The other day. You are my favorite person on set. I just didn’t want them to make fun of us for it.” 

“Oh. Right, I-” 

“Finish the slushie. We’ll go back after.” 

When you return, Eren finishes the scene in one take. And gets Levi’s golden stamp of approval. 

- 

When you and Eren film the last scene of the season, on your last day of shooting for a few months, you can’t help but feel a despair in your chest. Everyone else was already long gone, having given your wistful goodbyes and promises of keeping in touch until you come back to (hopefully) film the second season. 

Which leaves you, Eren, Erwin, Levi, Hange, and the crew to film the last scene. The backstory of how you and Eren came to be, where he wraps the scarf around your neck. 

While you love having everyone else around, it was nice to have a few days of just you and Eren, where you can soak in his company before you have to be apart for a few days. You make ramen together in the mornings, he teaches you how to play video games, and you talk about almost anything and everything in those three days.   

And when you go to film the scene, the despair of being apart from him…from your best friend really settles in. You’re sure it makes the scene all the more better. 

“It’s cold…. I don’t have anywhere to go home to.” you say. 

Eren walks over, his voice uncharacteristically soft, so gentle when he wraps the scarf around your neck that it makes your cheeks burn. 

“You can have this. It’s warm, right?” 

Grisha walks forward, placing a hand on Eren’s shoulder as he says his line. 

“Y/N. You should come live with us. You’ve been through plenty.” 

And when you look at Eren, you can feel your heart beating as he says the next lines. And for some reason, this version of Eren feels less like the character Eren and more like the real Eren. 

Your Eren. Tandem bikes, slushies, squeezing hands three times Eren. 

He reaches forward, squeezing your hand three times like he was reading your fucking mind, as he says the next line. While he acts dismissive, you can see the warmth in his eyes, and it feels like something else. Like he’s trying to hint something at you, tell you something you can’t exactly pick up on. 

“Come on. Let’s go back already. To our home.” 

And when you squeeze Eren’s hand three times back and trail off out of the shot of the camera, you both smile at each other, Eren turning to face you. 

“See you in a few months?” 

“Yeah.”

“Call me every day?” 

You roll your eyes as you reach over to flick his forehead, to which he pinches the sides of your waist. You squirm out of his hold, the feel of his fingers ticklish as you both laugh. 

“Yes, Eren. I’ll call you every day.” 

“Okay, good. Don’t forget me when you become famous overnight.” 

“You’re so full of shit, Eren. That’s not going to happen.” 

You’re totally wrong, for what it’s worth. The first episode of Attack on Titan airs on Friday. You and Eren start trending on Saturday.

--

next part linked here

taglist: @platrom @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @besenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

#method acting #seeingivywrites! #eren x you #eren x reader #eren x y/n #actor eren #actor eren x you #actor eren x reader #actor eren x y/n #eren fluff #aot x you #aot x reader #aot x y/n #snk #aot #snk x reader #snk x y/n #snk x you #eren jeager x you #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager x y/n #eren jeager fluff #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren aot #eren jaeger #attack on titan #attack on titan fluff #attack on titan x reader #read more break

[adini-nikolaevna]

"The great day came. It was April 16, the eve of Sasha's twenty-third birthday. In the morning there was mass, at one o'clock in the afternoon the official ceremony of dressing the bride in the presence of the whole family, newly appointed court ladies and three ladies-in-waiting. Marie was coiffed so that two long curls fell on either side of her face, a small diadem of diamonds and pearl pendants was placed on her head - under it was attached a veil of lace, which hung below the shoulders. Each of us sisters gave her a pin to attach it, and then a purple ermine-trimmed robe, so heavy that five chamberlains had to hold it, was placed over her and fastened at the shoulder with a gold pin. At the end, Mama also attached a small bouquet of myrtle and orange blossom under the veil. Marie looked grand and majestic in her outfit, and the expression of solemn seriousness on her childish face was in perfect harmony with the beauty of her figure. At three o'clock there was a solemn banquet, approximately four hundred people were seated in the Nicholas Hall of the Winter Palace at three huge tables. In the middle are the Royal Family and the clergy, who opened the banquet with prayer and blessing. At the table, ladies sat on the right hand, gentlemen on the left. They drank the health of the young couple, Their Majesties, the Tsarevna's Parents, as well as all loyal subjects, and each toast was accompanied by cannon salvoes. The highest ranks of the Court brought champagne to Their Majesties; we, the other members of the Royal Family, were served by our chamberlains. A military band played, and the best singers of the Opera sang so that the walls shook. At eight there was a polonaise in the St. George's Hall: Papa danced in front of everyone with Marie; at ten o'clock we returned to our chambers, here only the family dined with the newlyweds. Adini and I did not take part in this, but had dinner with our teachers in my rooms and looked out at the Neva, at the illuminated embankment, ships decorated with flags, a festive crowd, and behind it the spire of the Peter and Paul Fortress, rising to the sky, still gilded by the setting sun… this day ended with such a wonderful note.”

- Grand Duchess Olga Nikolaevna, Queen of Wurttemberg, on the nuptials of her elder brother, the future Emperor Alexander II of Russia and Empress Maria Alexandrovna (nee Princess Marie of Hesse-Darmstadt.)

#grand duchess olga nikolaevna the elder #emperor alexander ii #empress maria alexandrovna #romanov #russia #quotes

[marcobodtlives]

Don’t think about the fact that Sasha’s body remained aboard the airship during the return to Paradis.

Don’t think about how Connie probably sat in shock for hours, tears only escaping one eye. Definitely don’t think about how Jean would’ve huddled in a corner, hands over his ears, trying not to lose composure in front of the soldiers he’s meant to lead.

Don’t think about how Jean and Connie probably stuck to each other’s sides for the foreseeable future, terrified of losing one another but not wanting to verbalise it.

Don’t think about how Mikasa likely held Sasha’s hand long after it went cold. Don’t think about Armin sobbing beside them.

Don’t think about the solemn goodbye Levi and Hange probably made, like the good leaders they were. Don’t think about how Eren would have sat in silence after his hysteric laughter-turned-sobbing fit.

Avoid considering whether or not Gabi and Falco were kept in a separate room from Sasha’s body. Try not to think about how much of the personal aftermath of Sasha’s death they witnessed.

#don’t think about it too hard #🥹🥲 #it’s fine we’re fine #ITS FINE I SAID #spoilers #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #tw character death #sasha braus #connie springer #jean kirschstein #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #levi ackerman #hange zoë #eren jaeger #gabi braun #falco grice #marco bodt #or if you wanna be funky: #sasha blouse #jean kirstein #hange zoe #eren yeager #marco bott #if you squint #jeanmarco #springles #or #mikasasha

[kyojinacts]

Actor AU Headcanons for some of my favorite SNK/AOT characters!

1) Tea with honey is a staple resource on set due to the amount of screaming that the show requires. Eren was, naturally, the one who made the most of that tea during the earlier seasons. However, he was able to temporarily trade off his reputation as a screamer with Zeke, given that his character became more solemn and quiet as time went on. And, well, Zeke's character couldn't be what he was without the screaming.

2) When the iconic members of the 104th training corps met Levi for the first time, they caught him while he was method acting, and were intimidated. Little did they know that, outside of work, Levi has a very warm, kind, and charismatic personality. This catches both actors on set and fans off guard due to the stark contrast it provides against his character's demeanor. He finds it very, very amusing.

3) While we're on the topic of contrast, Hange actually finds titans very unnerving to look at, unlike their character. They typically don't have to encounter many due to most titans being animated via CGI, but there are some (like Sawney and Beane) that were constructed for "authenticity of reaction", much to Hange's chagrin. They maintain a professional front as much as they can. The only one who knows about their discomfort is Levi.

4) Mikasa breaking the floorboard in the scene where she strikes the human trafficker was entirely an accident. According to her, the floorboard had been unnaturally squeaky, but it was the last part of filming for the day, so she and the stage crew agreed to power through it. The poor girl apologized profusely, but Eren argued that it made the scene cooler. It seems as though Isayama agreed as the take was kept, though the audio team had to do some extensive cleaning to wipe out all the gasps and cries of shock that came from the unnatural breakage.

5) Sasha and Ymir are roommates who were both approached by a casting agent while volunteering at a food pantry. Ymir, though intrigued, was almost 100% sure that it was a scam, while Sasha did the research to check and dragged her friend to attend the auditions for shits and giggles. When they got their respective roles, they freaked out. Sasha almost dropped out, out of fear for what her family would think for being reckless, but Ymir urged her to take charge of her life, because opportunities like these don't come by.

6) The plot point of the Attack titan being able to send memories across time distresses Armin due to his belief that there are several timelines/futures that Eren's character could have chosen to follow rather than the one that was settled on. Isayama had to formally ask him to not discuss it during interviews, because the two of them knew that if Armin began his tirade, he won't stop.

6) Grisha and Carla are neither Eren's actual parents (in fact, Grisha is not even a father outside of work) but they both care about him as if he was their own since they saw him grow up on set. Zeke likes to joke that Grisha's method acting is spectacular in that way, since it took Grisha a bit of time to warm up to Zeke due to the latter's later appearance in the show.

7) The boy in the ending credits scene with the dog is Mikasa's little brother. He was always a big fan of his sister, and when presented with the opportunity to be a part of his sister's bigtime project, he took it with both hands eagerly.

8) The first scarf that Eren wraps around Mikasa was the only scarf that they used throughout the show. It has gone through a LOT, and is threadbare in many places. Despite this, Isayama refuses to have it mended. In an interview, Mikasa admits that she had gotten used to wearing the scarf, so during scenes when she wasn't supposed to wear it, she felt very exposed and empty.

9) Annie and Armin have a lot of deleted scenes/bloopers regarding their interactions for when Annie's character was in the crystal. In one scene, Annie is seen to dancing inside her crystal behind Armin as he monologued. In another, they switched places.

10) Connie and Jean are the ones to curse the most frequently after botching a scene. The others keep a tally on how many times. In the end, Connie barely ended up cursing more than Jean by two times. Connie's favorite curse words are "damn" and "shit" while Jean's is any variant of "fuck" like fuck, motherfucker, fucking hell, etc.

#attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #connie springer #jean kirstein #jean kirschstein #sasha braus #sasha blouse #annie leonhart #grisha yeager #carla yeager #zeke yeager #levi ackerman #hange zoe #ymir #hajime isayama #aot headcanons #actor au #aot actor au

[ecyr]

Ahh, this snippet of a scene in Chapter 136, i've always wished there would be more stories during the time of the vets. Seeing them gathered around the campfire, and seeing this is a memory reminisced by Levi at such a time makes it so sad knowing how much these moments are being cherished and remembered. I can hear So ist es emmer playing softly in the background as i see this. 😭

So imagine my happiness discovering someone who created a storyline of this particular scene. It is all i have all hoped it to be and more.

It's so beautiful and unfortunately the creator does not allow reposting it so im sharing the twitter link below. The thread is in 3 parts and shows a story that is amazing and bittersweet. Just all of them huddled together, telling stories and Levi nonchalantly sharing something that made them all laugh out loud so much. It is a moment that is so simple and yet so meaningful.

You just have to see it, it's wonderful 🤍

I dont know why snk especially the vets time affects me so much. It's like what Levi just said, that it was a time when they dreamt an exhaustingly idealistic world. Full of hope, purpose and pure determination, and then presented with the sharp edge of reality of the world at large. Everytime i think about it just makes me damn cry.

Isayama created something really so cruel yet beautiful.

And maybe like Levi, i also long for such simpler times.

https://twitter.com/satsukidvl/status/💜1474437079082106881?t=💜OCrqaHnIzSCWnShqs7Z2dw&s=19

(Somehow the link is being converted to a pic, dont know how to posts links, so just remove the 💜)

PS. the creator also has recreated an extended version of other scenes like Sasha's birthday celebration near the ocean, Levi Squad and a solemn scene during Erwin's final resting place.

#shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyojin #snk vets #snk fanart #levi ackerman #hange zöe #erwin smith #levi squad #hange squad #moblit berner #nanaba #mike zacharias #aot #aot fanart #attack on titan

[doofus-and-dragons]

This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.

TMA S5 Spoilers ahead

The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss

I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho

The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN

REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.

At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!

Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)

Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?

Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.

Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.

Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.

"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"

The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.

SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE

I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that

Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.

Martin: Something something "one of you"

Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."

Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands

He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him

I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)

They deserve nice things.

Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role

The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists

"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin

Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD

SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!

The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat

Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.

NO JON THE PLAN

Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.

I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.

Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming

JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL

I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting

THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH

They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind

#basira hussain #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #mag 200 #tma s5 #tma s5 spoilers #melanie king #georgie #their cult ig #mikaele salesa #alice daisy tonner #jonmartin #somewhere else #annabelle cane

[mjjune]

ds | mj june | excerpt from: chapter 6: those that choose

sibling suffering snippet as requested and voted on! see below for taglist and image description~

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I couldn’t help the ice in my voice as I turned away, not wanting to look at either of them anymore. “I’ll be of age at dawn. Don’t patronize me.” “Without having a sample from one of the salamanders, I’m not sure there is anything we can do that we haven’t already done.” “What kind of sample?” A new voice rang out. “Sasha. Don’t.” I turned to see Mami standing in the doorway. She had that look at on her face I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was a look of sorrow, where everything on her seemed to droop: her shoulders, her chin, her mouth, even her eyes and nose and hairline. Every ounce of her seemed too heavy, an exhaustion making all of her movements too slow. I ignored her. “What kind of sample, Miva?” “The only thing that might help is having the substance, pure and untouched from the salamander itself. If we can purify the poison before it has transferred to something else, we may be able to break down its components and–” “Miva, enough. No false hopes." “It is not,” Miva said, her fists once again grabbing the loose fabric of her splits. “It might be a long shot, but it is not false.” “It is false,” Mami said. “We all saw the direction they went. The salamanders are from The Heart. I am sure of it. There is no hope for a cure.” I watched Miva’s knuckles turn as white as her pants. That was why she was my favorite cousin. She was the only one willing to stand up to my mami the way I did. “Maybe they will return. If they do, we can try to capture one.” But there was no overcoming her when she was like this. As her eldest child, I knew it best. “We have no idea why they came here; what led them here. But we must put our efforts into warning the rest of Mutani and setting up protections for next time. Even our cleric, who is the most travelled of all of us, has never heard of or seen salamanders like these.” Despite the weight of her body and her words, Mami’s voice did not falter. “We must heal our wounds, and focus on protecting and healing our land.” “Of course.” Miva nodded, slow and solemn. Though I couldn’t see Mami over my shoulder, Miva fidgeted for a moment before me, eyes flicking between me and her. Then she bowed and left, her softness brushing my bruised arm, but I managed to hide my flinch. Alone with Mami, there was nothing left to censor her. Yet she would censor me. “Go to the temple. You must be at your best for your Selection tomorrow. They can likely heal you better than we can.” The fire ignited in me again, yet I knew I could say nothing without it exploding. I cared not for my Selection. It did not matter if I healed. It did not matter what I’d choose. Nothing mattered while Saya was slowly wasting away. “I know how you feel, but you cannot give up your life for this.” Her voice lowered to a whisper, soft and strained. “She would not want you to.” Though everything she said made me ache, it was this only piece of truth in her words that stopped me from breaking. I felt her hand on my shoulder, a squeeze that was at first gentle and reassuring, but grew hard enough to dig into my bruised skin. A warning. She would not want you to. She was not talking about my Selection anymore. “I will not lose anyone else.” As I knew her, she knew me. So she should also know, no matter what she said, there was no stopping me.

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DS TAGLIST: (message or comment below to be +/-)

@artbyeloquent @bebewrites @careful-fear @cherrybombfangirlwrites @cljordan-imperium @cocomerocollection @elijahrichardwrites @eventideintrigue @faithfire @flowerprose @garthcelyn @hope-hopefully-writes @isabellebissonrouthier @jamieanovels @kingkendrick7 @lexiklecksi @little-mouse-gardens @mr-writes @saphoblin @thyroidhormones @treesandwords @wildswrites @wip-nook

#writeblr #writblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #wtwcommunity #writerblr #writing community #fantasy #excerpt #ds snippets #my excerpts #ds excerpt #w: ds #my snippets #c: sasha #c: mami #c: saya #mj posts #hope you guys like it!!! #in case you couldn't tell #the narrator and saya are siblings and mami is the parent lol #this is my first time EVER writing 1st person paste tense so #and this is draft zero #be gentle with me mayhaps lolol

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Vast!Jon AU and Archivist!Sasha snippet

Sasha is about to take a statement about Mister Spider.

Sasha has only been Archivist for a couple of years. She thinks she's just getting an interesting story.

Sasha does not know what's about to happen.

(AKA: And YOU get some trauma and YOU get some trauma!)

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“Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding the creation of the photograph most commonly called the ‘spider leg illusion,’ taken… when?”

“Oh, uh - July 15th, 1995.”

“Statement taken direct from subject, February 6th, 2016. Now, Jon - I know it’s been a while, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d tell me what happened on that day.”

Jon was going to tell her the official story.

After all, everyone knew it - it was part of his biography. 

It’s why he started taking photographs.

He’d been eight years old. A local bully had been murdered in front of him - some drug deal gone wrong, they said. And needing to make sense of it, needing to find a lens through which he could feel more in control, little Jon had stolen his grandmother’s 35mm camera, went back to the crime scene, and taken forty-six photos. 

Each roll of film could take twenty-four shots. He’d had to replace the roll, somehow figuring out how to do it without exposing or ruining anything.

Why not a full forty-eight? the police had asked him later, because he’d left two shots untaken. 

Because I was done, and didn’t want to be wasteful, he’d told them with grave solemnity, and between that bit of unintentional cuteness and the evidence he accidentally collected, he made the papers.

The photos - which his grandmother had developed out of raw curiosity - led to the arrest of three people, drug dealers, who went down for the murder of Darren Case, the bully.

But that wasn’t actually how it happened.

At all.

Jon opens his mouth to tell the lie.

And what comes out is not.

#

Eight years old.

A book.

A spooky, weird book.

Mister Spider, and some kind of mind control, and bruising (every day, bruising, but that was just life until Martin stepped in), and then his bully being mind-controlled, and those legs coming out of the house to take the bully away, and -

And Jon returning to the house, finding it again because he needed to see, and the door opening, and the legs coming out, the legs coming out, the legs coming out -

Almost as if showing off for him, or just saying hi, or taunting him because it could have eaten him and didn’t, or - 

One picture came out with those legs, just one, even though he’d taken forty-six, and it is the clearest one, absolutely crystal, with a clarity that seemed to go beyond what his grandmother’s camera could do, but that makes sense to Jon because that is what he saw.

Jon has always been able to photograph what he saw.

And nobody took that spider-leg thing seriously because what the fuck, because the important photos were the ones with drug-dealer faces in the windows and going in and out of the house and hiding Darren's body, and it’s not like photo manipulation of some kind hadn’t existed in the 90s, but Jon had no access to it, so it was a fluke, or double-exposure, or something weird.

Jon had insisted the spider photo was real for two months until he gave up trying to make anyone believe him.

His grandmother kept it.

And it had burned in the house fire that took his grandmother away.

He thought.

Somehow, apparently… it hadn’t.

#

And Jon is gasping, and Jon is crying, and Jon has relived this terrible moment as if he were there all over again.

He hadn’t had time to make the connection, but now, he has: You have been marked by the Web, said Elias Bouchard, who’d asked him for the story and did not get it, because Jon did not want to talk about it, but Jon couldn't do that with Sasha, no he could not, and now that it's all over, he cries out and covers his face.

Sasha can’t - 

She hasn’t ever - 

She has no words for what just happened.

She was there.

Lived it as young Jon Sims, feels bruised where the bully pushed her, feel damaged where she saw the spider-legs and has no explanation, feels betrayed as she is not believed even though she knows what she saw and has to deny it and has to hide it and has to force herself to pretend it wasn’t real -

Himself. Not herself. This was Jon’s actual experience, not hers.

Sasha is panting.

“What…” she says, weak.

“I… I don’t…” Jon says, weak. “What did you do?”

Sasha looks terrified. “I don’t know.”

He swallows. “Eye stuff. It’s got to be.”

“What?” she says, completely lost.

Jon is suddenly angry for her.

Elias hasn’t told her anything, and this is Martin’s friend. 

She’s nice. 

She believes him.

Wait. “You believe me?”

“Of course I do,” she says.

He’s very angry for her. 

Jon is leaning in, too close, like he has no sense of personal space. “Sasha. Do you know what Elias is?”

She stares at him.

“What this place is?” he says, and now, he can see.

She is marked, too.

Marked by the Eye.

He can see it as clear as day, beautiful, like a gentle staining of her veins, all the way through and so intricate and so intimate it could never be removed.

“Wow,” he whispers, reaching for his camera.

Sasha grips the table suddenly as though she thinks she’s going to fall. “Why are there stars in your eyes?”

Jon breaks eye-contact.

Sasha sways in her seat. She’s breathing fast, and her eyes are very wide.

"You," she manages, and sways in her seat again like the room is spinning.

He sees it.

Sees another mark, patterning alongside the Eye, not nearly as deeply, but very much there, and he knows he did that.

He just did it right now, completely by accident, sending her soul into the sky or however this works, and before he can melt down in horror, a rush of warm, pleased energy comes flushing through him, unplanned.

He inhales, for just one second utterly blissed out, unable to parse what he’s feeling.

By some great stroke of luck, she didn’t see him react to that. “Could you - I don’t mean to be rude, but could you leave?” says Sasha. “I need a minute. I’ll catch up with you, I promise, I’m not trying to be a bitch, I….”

He’s hurt her.

Shame comes rushing right in after that weird pleasure. “Oh, no,” he whispers. “Sasha, I’m - ”

“Do I really need to ask you again?” she snaps, shaking.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, and then he flees.

#tma #tma fic #fic in progress #wip #amwriting #sasha james #jonathan sims #archivist!sasha #vast!jon

[bluemoonstonesy]

Aren’t you going to say something?

John Stones

notes: opening my return to writing with some classic angst. obviously john didn’t play in the semi final second leg, but if i simply shut my eyes he isn’t injured so just go with it.

warnings: angst followed by fluff

It’s been almost two hours, yet he isn’t anywhere to be seen. The hotel room’s door has been kept firmly shut in the exact way you’d left it once you’d slipped through it yourself and closed it behind in the hope that John would follow suit soon after. But he hasn’t, and you’re beginning to worry.

That is until the sound of the other key card that he’s taken possession of alerts your senses, sitting up from your slumped position against the headboard and preparing yourself for the inevitable storm that’s going to swarm the small Spanish hotel room, the open balcony doors to let in some much needed air doing absolutely nothing to clear your head.

You press your lips together as you wait for him to appear around the small corner and away from the door, hoping he appears in a better state than earlier. You wanted to see him straight after the final whistle, to run onto the pitch and tell him something, anything. But you couldn’t, instead following the rest of the team’s families back to the hotel in order to mull over the loss that City had just been slapped in the face with.

Some tried to ignore it completely, but the atmosphere was thicker and much more solemn than it should’ve been after a game that they were clear favourites to win. You walked alongside Sasha on the way, engaging in small talk about the little things to momentarily distract yourselves from the situation, asking her how she and Jack were settling in a completely new city as she questioned you on how your new job was going. She invited you for a drink at the hotel bar before you were about to part ways. Of course, you wanted nothing more to take her up on the offer. But you felt it was your duty to be there in the room when John got back. You wanted to be the first person he got to rant to, despite how difficult the night will inevitably turn out to be.

And as soon as he comes into view, you’re certain that it’s going to be just that. The sight of John after a loss isn’t something that is unknown to you, and sadly you’ve seen it more often than you’d ever wanted to. Yet tonight you already knew it would be different. This game was different.

He says nothing as he puts his belongings down on the dressing table, ignoring his phone screen that continues to flash with notifications every other second. He’ll probably check them tomorrow, at least that’s what he’s been telling himself whilst avoiding them like the plague.

You almost hate yourself for momentarily considering leaving him alone for a while, not wanting to bother him whilst he processes the events of the night in the safety of his mind. But you’re interrupted before you have a chance to even move from the bed to test your theory.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” His voice is almost inaudible as he begins to unpack his bag, his back still facing you as you watch him unscrew a bottle of water, head tilting back as he takes a swig of the contents. You stay silent for a few moments, before he speaks again slightly louder, “Just tell me how shit I was, go on.”

“You did so good, honestly.” Is all you manage. It’s not a lie, he did do good. But it’s no surprise when you hear him sigh, forcing out a slight laugh at your apparent naivety, “If I did so good, we would’ve won, wouldn’t we?”

“It wasn’t just you out there tonight John, you do know that, right?” Your words come out harsher than anticipated, and it’s only then that he turns around to face you for the first time since entering the room, “So if you’re going to come back here and act like this with me then that’s entirely up to you.”

He stops what he’s doing, putting the water back onto the table. You expect him to approach you, maybe to apologise or continue what he’s started. You watch as he hesitates for a few moments, clearly unsure what to do with himself. It seems as if he’s going to sit down on the edge of the bed, but instead he runs a hand through his hair with a groan before walking towards the door that was pushed open only minutes earlier, “I’ll be back later.”

You consider following him, dragging him back into the room so he can talk to you properly instead, but you decide to stand your ground and give him space, despite how much you want to pull him back in and talk it through. “And don’t come back until you’ve stopped acting like a child.” You mumble, wincing slightly as he shuts the door behind him with force. And just like that, he’s gone just as quickly as he’d come. There’s nothing you hate more than arguing with John, but after the loss paired with being in a completely different country, you just don’t have the effort to take him on, simply hoping that he comes back in a better way, whenever that may be.

Getting ready for bed feels weird without John, and you almost hate the usual innuendos that he’ll throw around when you undress for the night, usually giving him a playful, light slap on the arm sending him into a laughing fit from the serious look on your face. But tonight there’s none of that. The room is eerily quiet, only the slight echo of Madrid nightlife from below the window interrupting the silence, and the fact that you know that it’s from fans of the club that had gotten you into this mess in the first place makes you wish that the room was completely silent.

Sleeping without John is even worse, and it almost feels as if he’s the only one away with City whilst you're left at home counting down the hours until he’s home. But it’s nothing like that. You’re here with him, but right now he could be across the world for all you know. Tonight has been nothing but a mess, and sleep seems to be the least of your worries.

The creaking of the floor is what wakes you up in the early hours of the morning. You’re certain you’ve only just managed to drift off after spending so much time tossing and turning around the all too large bed that was missing a particular person. You open your eyes slightly as a figure walks slowly across the room, panic setting in slightly before the moonlight that reflects through the window reveals a still frowning John. You can’t help but watch as he begins to undress, trying his very hardest to keep as quiet as possible despite the fact that he’s already woken you up.

You quickly shut your eyes as he peels back the duvet to slip under, the warmth that radiates off of his bare chest immediately making you feel safer despite the altercation earlier. You expect him to simply fall asleep, presumably with his back turned and stay that way until the sun rises. But a familiar arm decorated with tattoos snakes around your waist and pulls you in towards him, his warmth even stronger as you feel your back pressed against his abdomen.

“Are you awake?”

You stay silent for a few more moments, considering ignoring him completely. But you know that things won’t be fixed that way, and that’s the one thing you need most right now, “Yep.”

If you listened closely enough, you’re certain you’d be able to hear the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out how to go about this in the best way possible, “Can we talk about it?”

His voice is barely audible, but you can hear the sincerely in his words. You take a moment to gather your thoughts together before turning over, a small smile creeping onto his face as you finally face each other.

“I’ll always be here for you, John. I’m not going to sit there and tell you you’re shit at your job and you deserve what happened tonight,” John watches as you speak quietly just as he’d done moments before, studying your facial expressions, “I just want to help you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” You know that John finds it hard to talk about his emotions, but you’ll always wait for the right time. No matter what, you’ll always want what’s best for him.

“Just get some sleep, and we can talk about it properly tomorrow.” You tell him, pulling him closer to confirm that you just want what’s best for him. John feels like the biggest weight has been lifted off his shoulders and finds himself pressed against you which you can’t help but laugh at, his cheek lying against your chest as if you’d suddenly disappear if he dared let go.

He doesn’t have to say anything else, and you can tell he’s finally allowed himself to relax as his eyes begin to shut once you run a hand through his hair a couple of times, his grip on your hip loosening slightly as he begins to drift off, but always still there where it should be.

#john stones #john stones imagine #john stones x reader #man city imagine #football imagine

[somnisongs]

† — IT'S ALRIGHT TO RECOGNIZE ME, CALL OUT MY NAMELESS . .

MALLEUS DRACONIA [TWISTED WONDERLAND] PLAYLIST !

genres — [neoclassical] dark wave, medieval folk, symphonic metal, chamber pop, etc.

admin notes — this playlist is very thorough, so it runs a bit long. i am quite proud of it, and i believe it is fleshed out enough to hit all notes of his character. a few of my selections are meant to hint toward my interpretation of the dynamic of malleyuu, and can be seen as both platonic and romantic. feel free to imagine those as any other ship or dynamic you like. just enjoy.

★—★

1. Harmless Monster — CocoRosie

2. A Night in Fairyland — Narsilion

3. Crow — Sasha Siem

4. Carnival of the Animals: Aquarium — Camille Saint-Säens

5. In the Flat Fields — Bauhaus

6. Sorrow — IAMX

7. Carve a Smile — Shayfer James

8. Anthem — Kamelot

9. The Spell — Cellar Darling

10. ayakashi — Versailles

11. I Sleep With the Windows Open — The Family Crest

12. Thrush and Wake — Autumn Tears

13. Winter Elven Dream — Narsilion

14. Diamonds in the Mine — Leonard Cohen

15. Ever Dream — Nightwish

16. In My Arms — Rufus Wainwright

17. Reptile — The Church

18. My Fairy King — Queen

19. Look Away — The Dear Hunter

20. Crescent — Brendan Perry

21. Solemn Dream — Dirt Poor Robins

22. Dark — Paralysed Age

23. Beaks of Benevola — Major Parkinson

24. Sleep — Mother Falcon

25. Wonderland — Nosferatu

26. I Walk Alone — Tarja

27. A Dream Within a Dream — Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows

28. Learning to be Lost — Shayfer James

29. Is It Any Wonder — The Chameleons

30. Low Red Moon — Belly

SPOTIFY. YOUTUBE.

#malleus draconia #twisted wonderland malleus #twisted wonderland #twst #malleyuu #disney #darkwave #neoclassical darkwave #medieval folk #chamber pop #symphonic metal #music recommendation #music #playlist #playlist blog

[typingatlightspeed]

TF2 Fanfic - Sophie's Choice

Based on the TF2 Voice Actor Q&A stream recently, in which Gary Schwartz and Robin Atkin Downes improved in response to the question of whom Heavy would save if he could only save one: Sascha, or Medic. This got very silly. (Sophie's Choice wasn't written til '79 and the movie came out in '82, hence that line of Gary's response not being included.)

---------

"Ohhhh! Don't make me choose!"

"You better answer the fucking question," Medic snapped, jabbing a finger at his lover.

Heavy's eyes went wide, and he cast his glance between the man he loved, and the minigun he treated like his beautiful first born daughter. Sascha was his baby. He was a proud papa, and though he loved Medic with ever fibre of his being, how could he choose anyone over his own child? He panicked. "Alright, Sasha, what can I say?"

Medic glared, gutted, fury in his eyes. His tone measured, solemn, he bitterly spat, "Heavy. You're not coming over for dinner anymore."

Shaking his head, the giant slumped in defeat. "It was fun while it lasted, Medic."

With a soft laugh bubbling out of him, Medic could no longer maintain the illusion of hurt, "You dumped me!"

Heavy boomed out a laugh at that, slapping his thigh, making Medic finally fully break down into titters.

Pyro shook his head and shuffled to the next card in the deck. "Okay, you guys, we get it. Next up: Engie! Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or twenty duck-sized horses?"

"...now what kind of horse are we talkin' about, here? A haflinger-sized duck is a whole different ordeal from, say, a shire horse."

"What does Blazbo Bibbins' horse have to do with this?" Soldier demanded, slamming his fist on the table.

"Dammit, Sol, not everything has to do with your damn wizard book!" Scout yelled, jumping out of his seat.

"I shoulda never read that thing to you," Engineer sighed, scrubbing a hand across his stubbly scalp as Soldier began to choke Scout and Heavy and Medic began making out.

#TF2 Fanfiction #Team Fortress 2 #TF2 Red Oktoberfest #TF2 Heavy #TF2 Medic #TF2 Pyro #TF2 Engineer #TF2 Soldier #TF2 Scout

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 108: April 2018

The sound of Marius von Raum beginning a song he wasn’t going to be allowed to finish jolted Jon out of a sound sleep, and also told him that Melanie had somehow got hold of his phone. He grabbed for it quickly to stop it ringing before it woke anyone else up and became aware, as he did so, that the nest of blankets was tucked securely around him, but he was otherwise alone. How Martin had got up and disentangled himself from Jon without waking him was beyond him. He must have slept very deeply, which was something of a novelty these days.

He managed to connect the call before the third repetition of the riff, fumbling for his glasses with the other hand. “Hah—hello?”

“Did I wake you?” Melanie sounded slightly distracted. There was something indistinct in the background, and then she amended, actually sounding apologetic, “Sorry, of course I woke you, it’s six in the morning. Are you awake enough to follow directions?”

“Awake enough to follow, asleep enough not to ask questions.” Jon found his glasses and slid them onto his face. “What are my marching orders, General?”

“Your mission, should you choose to accept it,” Melanie said, modulating her voice briefly into a solemn secret agent voice, then dropped into her usual voice. “Actually, fuck that, you don’t get a choice. Meet you at the bookshop. Bring Martin and Daisy. And possibly some elephant tranqs.”

“Oh, God, what happened?”

“Dunno, but Tim called Sasha a little bit ago and she listened for about three minutes and then started looking for the cat carriers, so I’m guessing there are some emotions involved.” Melanie sighed. “Meet you there. Tell Martin not to strain himself.”

“I will. Be careful, Melanie.”

“Nag, nag, nag. See you soon.”

“See you soon,” Jon repeated softly. He ended the call, rubbed his hand over his face briefly, and got to his feet.

Daisy was perched cross-legged on one of the desks, hunched slightly over a cup of tea cradled in her hands. Every so often, she attempted to blow a section of strawberry blonde hair out of her eyes, but like everything else about her, it stubbornly resisted being dislodged. Her gaze raked over him briefly. “Morning.”

“Is it?” Jon said, trying for a joke. From the brief smirk that flickered across Daisy’s mouth, he managed to pull it off. “Have—ah, h-have you seen Martin?”

“Office.” Daisy jerked her head towards the Archivist’s office. “Said if he was going to be awake he might as well get some work done.”

That was…not really something Jon wanted to hear, actually. He swallowed the sudden lump of anxiety and started for the office. He could hear the rise and fall of Martin’s voice and knew he was dictating a statement, which did not make him feel any better.

When he opened the door, Martin was seated behind his desk, a pensive look on his face as he stared at one of the two tape recorders on its surface. The other, closer to his hand, was clearly spinning as he spoke to it. His eyes glittered their intense, luminescent green as he did so.

“—an interesting theory,” he mused. “Not sure if I believe it, but it’s what we have to go on for right now. I just wish I knew for sure who was leaving these for me. End supplement.”

The tape recorder shut itself off with a cheerful click. Martin blinked, and his eyes returned to normal—still bright, but no longer literally glowing. He reached over to pop the tape out and looked up, giving Jon a soft smile. “Hi. Sleep okay?”

“Yes, for a wonder,” Jon said quietly. He was a bit more awake than he really wanted to be, and he fought the urge to walk over and hug his boyfriend. “How long have you been up?”

Martin raised his eyebrows and glanced at the clock. “An hour? Maybe? Dreams ended earlier than usual and I heard Daisy moving around, so I offered to make her tea. She didn’t want company and I didn’t want to wake you up, but I knew I wasn’t getting back to sleep and came in here instead. I thought I’d do a bit of admin before everyone else got in.”

Jon pursed his lips briefly. He knew he should call Martin out on the fact that he’d heard him doing a recording—and the worrying fact that there was no file in sight—but it was early in the morning and they had somewhere to be, and he figured he would wait until they were all together so Gerry and Melanie could help him yell. So he swallowed his instinctive response and said in as neutral a way as he could, “Melanie called. She wants us to meet her and Sasha at the bookshop. She, ah, she said Sasha was gathering up the cats, so…she doesn’t know what Tim was calling about, but there’s probably something bad going on.”

“Or Tim’s got a really weird idea for a party. It’s Tim. Anything is possible,” Martin murmured, standing up from the desk. Jon noticed him palming the tape from one of the recorders, but, perhaps unwisely, he kept his mouth shut. “Is Daisy coming?”

“I—I didn’t ask her, but Melanie said to bring her.”

Martin gave Jon another one of those crooked smiles he loved so much, and it was all Jon could do not to melt and pretend nothing was bothering him ever. “Let’s find out if she’s up for it then.”

The trains began running early, and the sun was already up, so they made good time to Cinnamon Rose Books. Jon kept an eye on Martin for signs of guilt, or that he was hiding a secret, but his face was as innocent and implacable as ever. Jon wanted to believe that wasn’t a facade, that there definitely wasn’t anything else going on, that Martin wasn’t keeping something important from him.

He wasn’t sure he did.

The thing was…the thing was, Jon thought as they got off at the end of the line and started the relatively short trek to the shop, that Martin was Web-Marked, but not Web-aligned, so he didn’t really go for manipulation, not casually like that. He didn’t bait, didn’t gaslight, didn’t pull strings like some kind of goddamned puppet master. But…well, the Eye dealt in secrets as much as knowledge, and it was possible Martin was getting a little extra energy from keeping secrets. A tiny romantic part of Jon told him that, surely, Martin wouldn’t keep painful secrets like that from him.

A tiny cynical voice in the back of his mind reminded him that almost every single person in an abusive relationship believed their loved one wouldn’t do that to them at some point or another.

Martin didn’t bother knocking on the door, just fished out his keys and unlocked the shop door himself, then locked it behind them again and led the way through the shop. Jon could hear voices from upstairs and deduced that someone was having an argument, but he couldn’t tell if they were walking into a lovers’ spat or a lighthearted debate until they reached the kitchen. Gerry was seated at the table, elbows resting on its surface and hands gripping his hair; Tim was gesticulating wildly with a spatula, and Melanie was standing in front of him with an armful of cat and an unimpressed look on her face, Sasha standing at her back.

Sasha glanced over Tim’s shoulder, and a look of relief spread over her face. “Thank God. You talk some sense into them.”

Tim whirled around, his face tight with anger. His expression didn’t change as he strode across the kitchen in two steps, and Jon didn’t have time to even think about what he was going to do before he slammed into Martin with a tight hug. Martin gave a startled oomph and hugged him back. “Uh, hi?”

“Those bastards,” Tim choked out. “You were four.”

“I—oh.” Martin looked over Tim’s head at Gerry. “Flashback?”

Gerry lifted his head from his hands, and Jon jerked back in surprise. He hadn’t seen him so drawn and haggard since…well, since he’d first turned up at Melanie’s door. He looked like he hadn’t slept…or eaten…in a while. When he spoke, though, Jon’s stomach lurched as he realized the truth—Gerry had been crying. “You dreamed about it last night, didn’t you? Being Marked by the Lonely?”

“I don’t…really have dreams of my own these days, Ger,” Martin said, a bit regretfully. “God, I don’t even remember it, it was so long ago. I knew I’d probably met it long before I ever met you, but even back then it was just a-a feeling more than anything. I was four?”

“That’s what you said. Well, what Tim said I said when I was narrating the experience.” Gerry closed his eyes for a minute. “I thought Neenie’s encounter with the Slaughter was bad when I woke up from it, but at least Uncle Roger didn’t try to feed her to the lions.”

“I genuinely don’t know why you’re still surprised at anything Mum ever did to Martin,” Melanie muttered. “Did you ever see the tally marks?”

“Melanie!” Martin went pale.

“Shit. Shit, sorry, I—” Melanie winced and looked away. “My fucking mouth. Sorry.”

“Tally marks?” Jon repeated, dread stealing over him. He looked up at Martin, and suddenly realized that, whatever that meant, Martin wasn’t going to elaborate. He was going to deflect, change the subject, keep his secrets, and—

Martin sighed heavily and let go of Tim, then stepped back and leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest. Quietly, he said, “On the inside door of the hall closet, at the place Mum and I lived before she and Dad got married. I used to make one every time she locked me in there for…whatever reason. Melanie helped me repaint it before we moved out, because most of the part of the door I could reach had the scratches in the paint.”

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees, and Gerry’s eyes narrowed. “I am going to go find out if I can bring people back from the dead. And then I’m going to kill her again.”

“Help me with Peter Lukas first,” Tim growled. “The Lonely doesn’t get to touch anyone else.”

“I’ll help,” Daisy said immediately.

“Whoa, whoa, hold up.” Martin raised both hands. “You don’t know what he’s capable of. If you can even find him, he’s as likely to…”

“Vaporize you,” Sasha supplied.

“Uh—not exactly,” Martin said slowly. “I don’t think Paul and Nolan are actually dead, they’re just…trapped in the Lonely. Which isn’t noticeably better, but…still. We don’t want to lose you three.”

Jon noticed something in Daisy’s eyes and added, “You won’t be able to find Basira if you’re in there. Not if you don’t go in willingly. Maybe not even if you do.”

“I don’t know if I could find my way in without being put there,” Daisy admitted candidly. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to hunt Peter Lukas down and rip his throat out.”

Melanie crossed the kitchen and unceremoniously pushed Wynken into Daisy’s arms. “Sit down.” She bent down, picked up Umberto, and thrust him at Tim, who took him, seemingly on instinct. “You, too. Everyone who’s upset, sit down and grab a cat, and let’s talk this out like fucking adults instead of…people possessed by our worst instincts.”

“What, exactly, are we talking out?” Tim said bitingly, but he did sit down.

Martin glanced at Jon and jerked his head at the kitchen door; Jon pulled it shut. “Want me to light the wards first?”

“Here.” Gerry fished out his lighter and tossed it to Jon. “Lonely, Beholding, Web, End, and for my peace of mind, the Buried. Please,” he added.

It was tacked on as an afterthought, but Jon decided to accept it and began lighting the candles. Martin, meanwhile, made his way over to the stove. “Here, I’ll make breakfast…look, I didn’t realize it was that bad. Not that I really understood Marks and all that until we were a bit older, but I genuinely thought the Halloween incident was what actually Marked me.”

“Apparently not. You were on vacation with your parents and…a woman came and offered to let you play with her daughter on the beach,” Gerry said slowly. “She told you to play hide and seek, and then…never went looking for you, I guess?”

“I…” Martin trailed off, his eyes going vacant. Jon felt more than heard the soft gathering of static. “It was a test. Her mother was trying to get them back into the family’s good graces after her own father was disgraced and sent to live with distant relatives, so she was testing to see if, even at that age, her daughter could be trained to see other people as nothing more than fodder for the Lonely. She was certainly better at it than her cousin, but it wasn’t good enough.” He winced and shook his head hard. “God. I wish that would stop.”

“Getting mugged by knowledge?” Jon said, a bit dryly. He wanted to hug Martin, to comfort him, but…something held him back. Not until he asks. Not until he admits…

“It’s not really getting mugged. It’s more…” Martin sighed. “It’s like—like there’s a door in my mind, and behind it is the whole ocean, pressing against it. Sometimes a few drops force their way past the door and I get a little wet, but it’s nothing like what will happen if I open that door.”

“What happens if you do?” Daisy asked, teasing up a bit of fur on the nape of Wynken’s neck, which the fluffy calico seemed to enjoy immensely.

Martin stood still for a moment, then said, very quietly, “I drown.”

“Martin,” Jon said softly. His heart ached for his boyfriend, but he made himself stay where he was.

Sasha cleared her throat. “When you say ‘it wasn’t good enough’…”

Martin shrugged without looking up. “Well. That particular bit of Knowledge didn’t have any names attached.”

“Ann,” Gerry murmured. “Without an E.”

“I think she made that up, Ger.”

Jon laid the lighter down on the table next to Gerry’s elbow. Gerry palmed it in a way that was uncomfortably close to the way Martin had done with the tape. “Okay, then, back to Tim’s question. What are we talking out, exactly?”

“How about what the fuck is going on?” Melanie suggested.

Jon nodded. “You said the flashbacks tend to…be relevant to what’s happening, or about to happen. And you flashed back to…Martin getting Marked by the Lonely?”

“So something’s about to go down with the Lonely,” Tim completed. “Peter Lukas.”

“Right,” Melanie said, obviously picking up on where Jon was going. “So I say again, what the fuck is he up to?”

Daisy cocked her head slightly. “What do you mean? Why does he have to be up to something?”

“Because he does. He’s not planning a ritual—Gertrude already disrupted the Lonely’s ritual sometime recently, you said, Gerry—so he can’t be using the Institute for that, but either Elias appointed him to be his temporary successor or he moved in on his own.” Melanie grunted as Blynken leaped into her lap and began kneading at it, purring all the while. “Besides, his whole thing is the Lonely, and isolation and all that—why would he be working with people?”

“And why Basira?” Sasha mused. She held up a hand to forestall Daisy’s glare. “Not that there’s anything wrong with her. Just…he made her his personal assistant. She’s working with him closely. Doing what?”

Martin, who was mixing something in a bowl, suddenly paused. Jon felt, instinctively, that he had an idea, and something in his chest twisted as he envisioned the next few minutes. Martin would resume his work, Jon would have to make a decision on whether to call him out on it or let him continue to pretend not to be involved, Melanie would call Jon out on it and he’d have to call Martin out, they’d end up in a fight, Martin would end up storming out to clear his head and probably pounce some poor random passerby and feed off of them, Jon would feel guilty about it for the rest of his life…

While the doomsday scenario played out in a matter of nanoseconds in his head, Martin set bowl and spoon down, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the tape, which he laid on the table in front of them. “Investigating a possible new Fear.”

If Martin had declared his intention to quit the Institute, move to Las Vegas, and become a male stripper, he could not have shocked Jon any more. Not by what he had said. By the fact that he had just…said it. Jon had geared himself up so thoroughly for the fight that he actually hadn’t been prepared for the possibility that it just…wouldn’t happen. He hadn’t considered the possibility that Martin would actually tell them what he’d been up to, that he wouldn’t keep the secrets close to his chest.

“A possible what?” Melanie’s voice rose sharply.

“That can happen?” Sasha said incredulously.

“How?” Tim demanded.

“I thought you were going to keep that a secret,” Jon blurted without thinking.

That fast, Martin’s eyes snapped up to focus on Jon. “What?” he said, looking and sounding honestly confused. After a second, though, his eyes cleared and his face softened. “Jon, no. I just didn’t want to have to explain it more than once.”

“Explain what? Start at the beginning,” Gerry said.

Martin went back to whatever he was making, but he stayed facing the others as he did so. “A couple times lately, I’ve found things on my desk that I know I didn’t put there—statements I didn’t pull, tapes I haven’t seen, that sort of thing. They’ve been…generally helpful in what we’re doing. I just assumed one of you was leaving them there, but I found that tape this morning when I went in to put together the third quarter budget requisition, and since it wasn’t there when I locked it last night, I don’t know where it came from. And…it’s not Gertrude on the tape.”

“Who is it?” Melanie asked.

Daisy inhaled sharply. She reached for the tape, then drew her hand back, like she wasn’t sure she was allowed to touch. “Basira.”

Martin nodded. “She was reading a letter from Adelard Dekker—the one who got Gertrude the plastic explosives, who might honestly be the only person she worked with I haven’t met at some point or another. Anyway, Dekker is—or was at the time he wrote the letter—convinced that a new Fear was preparing to emerge. He waxed kind of poetic about it, actually, and he had a whole incident he said was representative of proof of his theory. You can listen to it if you’d like.”

“I’d rather not,” Tim muttered. Melanie nodded emphatically. “How? I mean…fear is fear, right? There aren’t…”

“Tim, people are always inventing new things to be afraid of. Yeah, they usually kind of sort into categories, but…what happens when something comes up, something that enough people are afraid of that it becomes a powerful concern, and it doesn’t slot neatly into one category or another?” Martin exhaled. “Even knowing—”

“The damn things overlap,” Jon and Sasha said in unison.

Martin cracked a small smile. “Yeah. Even with that, if they blend together enough, it might create something wholly new. Dekker’s potential new fear is called the Extinction.”

“Sounds like a mix of the Slaughter and the End,” Melanie mused. “The fear of…”

“Catastrophic loss. Not just the end of everything, but its obliteration.” Martin set the bowl down on the counter and opened the refrigerator. “I think you probably heard the tail end of my recording, Jon, so I’m guessing you know that I’m not convinced, but…”

“But it’s a possibility,” Daisy completed. “And Peter Lukas is convinced of it, and he’s convinced Basira of it.”

“Or he’s at least got her looking into it. I’m serious, Daisy, I’d like you to take a listen when you’re up to it, if you don’t mind—you know her better than I do, you can tell me what you think. But to me, it sounded like she was—I don’t know, humoring him?”

Daisy’s eyes went distant for a moment. “Probably. She was always good at that. She’d agree with what was said, go along with it especially when she was being watched, then just quietly go behind and do what she thought was the right move anyway.”

Jon was honestly only half paying attention. His mind was still stuck on what Martin had said: I think you probably heard the tail end of my recording, Jon. Guilt swirled in his stomach. Martin had known he was there, and really hadn’t been deliberately trying to conceal what he was doing. And yet Jon been so quick to assign the worst possible motives…God, what kind of a boyfriend was he, if he just assumed the man he loved wouldn’t tell him when things were getting bad?

Then again, was he any better? He’d been noticing things about himself for a while, things he didn’t like—not just the weird static in his occasional attempts to compel people, which even Melanie had called him out on, but things like…well, like this. All of a sudden—or maybe not all of a sudden, maybe it had been gradual, like Melanie’s descent into the Slaughter, and he just hadn’t noticed until he made the comparison to past behavior—he’d stopped asking about things that bothered him, or things he wanted to talk about. He waited for…no. No, most of the time he wasn’t just passively waiting for someone else to bring them up, he was deliberately laying the groundwork for someone else to mention it and think it was their idea in the first place…

“So what does Peter Lukas need the Institute for?” Tim asked, from somewhere on the edge of Jon’s existential crisis. “Or Basira? Just to look into if this is actually happening?”

“He’s a wealthy middle-aged white man,” Melanie pointed out. “He doesn’t need anyone to validate his theories, he’s rich enough to pay people to believe them. If he thinks this is happening, or wants to believe it’s happening, he isn’t looking for proof, he’s looking for solutions.”

Martin nodded. “There’s a bit at the end of the tape where he and Basira are talking about…all of that. He says he needs someone who’s got a touch of the Beholding in them in order to really carry out his plan, but he’s vague on what that plan is, and he says he’s still getting some things together.”

“Can we get ahead of him on it?” Sasha asked. “I mean, can you…look into his head or whatever?”

“No,” Jon said sharply, surprise and a sudden bite of fear startling him out of his guilt spiral. Sasha jerked her head back in surprise, and he almost felt bad. Almost.

But Martin was shaking his head as well. “Jon’s right. I can’t risk that, Sash. Even if Peter Lukas wasn’t way more powerful than I am—meaning I don’t think I even could read his mind, not without a lot of effort—if I try to force my way into his head, he’ll either kill me or trigger…whatever his plan is before we have a hope of knowing if it’s even something we need to stop, let alone actually stopping it. We’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way.”

“Fun,” Tim deadpanned.

“Well, it’s that or sit around passively and wait for something to happen. Can someone hand me the cinnamon?” Martin swiped a paper towel through the butter and began rubbing at what looked to the casual glance like two frying pans welded together.

Melanie looked up, suddenly distracted from the conversation. “Are you making pancakes?”

“Waffles.” Martin’s voice held an implied duh.

“We only do those on…” Gerry’s voice trailed off. “Fuck. Is today the eighteenth?”

“Did you forget your own birthday?”

“Shut up. I have a lot going on.”

Jon shook himself out of his stupor, scooted around the table, reached into the spice rack, and pulled down the cinnamon. As he handed it to Martin, he leaned in close and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Martin smiled and winked at him, then added a dash to the batter, ladled some into the waffle iron, and closed it. Once it was set on the burner, he slipped an arm around Jon and pulled him close. “You don’t need to be,” he whispered back. “I’m sorry I worried you. I trust you, Jon. You know that, right?”

“I do.” Jon snuggled against Martin and hugged him tightly, more relieved than he wanted to admit out loud.

He also still felt a twinge of guilt. You don’t need to be. Martin wasn’t reading anyone’s minds if he could help it, so he didn’t know anything other than what Jon was outright telling him, or what was obvious from his body language. He didn’t know about Jon’s worries about himself. He only knew that Jon had been worried about him.

And Jon knew he wasn’t going to bring it up. Not here. Not now. Not with the others right there. He told himself he would, later, when it was just the two of them.

But what if he didn’t?

“So what’s the plan today?” Tim asked. “Breakfast, mass trip to the Institute, see what we can pull from the shelves that might relate to this Extinction thing?”

Martin hesitated, then shook his head. “No. No, I think…you know what, screw it. Let’s take the day away from the Institute. Let’s just…if we’re going to plot against Peter Lukas, I’d rather not do it directly under his nose, even if he can’t watch us the way Elias could.”

“Is Elias still watching us from prison?” Sasha wondered. “I know he can’t see through the wards, but is he keeping an eye on us otherwise?”

“Probably. I think he’s exactly where he wants to be,” Martin said slowly. “I just don’t know why. And right now, I don’t care enough to try and figure it out, by supernatural means or otherwise. As long as he stays in prison, that’s good enough for me.”

“You’re the Archivist. If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for me.” Jon leaned a little closer to Martin’s side. He’d been denying himself this contact all morning, to punish…one of them, God only knew which, maybe both. He should probably step away, because he didn’t deserve this closeness, but damn it, he needed it right now. From the way Martin kept one arm around him and worked the waffle iron with the other, he felt the same.

“Well, then.” Gerry sounded marginally more like himself. “Let’s have breakfast and then head out to Regent’s Park. If nothing else, we need to get our annual photo—and this year, I think I’d like to include the lot of you in the picture as well. Or at least in a picture. We’re all family now, and it’s not really my birthday without a new family photo.”

“And then what?” Sasha wondered.

Martin turned out the first waffle. “And then we improvise.”

“I hate this plan,” Melanie declared. “Let’s do it.”

Jon glanced down at the large orange cat that had ambled out of nowhere and butted his shins, but made no move to let go of Martin, even to pet Nod. “I hope someone has an idea of what to do with the cats while we do this.”

#ollie writes fanfic #to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest) #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #melanie king #daisy tonner #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #gerard keay #manipulation #mild paranoia #minor distrust #mention of child abuse #death threats #guilt

[coelakanths]

As pollrunner I have the solemn responsibility of asking why

Dante. Discuss.

listen. dante is plenty sad but his fault is im having a good support system. his backstory is undeniably tragic, but he has loving family and friends to help him cope and move past it! a true proper tragic character will be SUFFERING to the bone … consider sasha who has been gaslit into pushing away everyone she ever loved and travis who lived isolated for decades on a secluded island hating himself almost as much as everyone else hated him. dante on the other hand has a wife and kids. shrug

#he is so tragic don’t get me wrong #but sadha and travis have literally everything…. #mcd #asks

[erwinsmissing-arm]

I'm not dead! And I have returned with content as promised like, 4 months ago 😭. Anyway, currently going feral over Mikasa. So here I am. Being a massive simp. But also throwing angst in there because who am I if I don't add at least a little bit of angst?

Lmk if anyone wants a part 2. I would be more than happy to continue this bc I kinda lost motivation at the end 😭

Genre: angst

Warning: unrequited love, unofficial eremika, jealousy, mentions of suicide, reader being a massive simp basically, early season 1 Eren

___________________________________

What's so special?

“Ereh” I hear from the table next to me “you need to eat”. Everyone's in mess hall eating dinner and, as always, Mikasa is right by Eren’s side. She's trying to convince him to eat because he's not eating, for whatever reason. Not that I care. What does she see in him anyway?

“why? What's the point?” exactly. What's the point in her wasting her time on you? All you do is complain. Whereas I appreciate the time she gives me. I give her something worth her while. I don't complain about every little thing. I don't complain about how I will kill every living titan. I don't complain about-

“hellooo? Earth to [name]?”

“huh? Oh, Sasha. When did you get here?”

“not long ago, can I have your bread? You haven't eaten it” Sasha’s expression is slightly terrifying

“sure” I slide my plate of bread to Sasha, causing said girl to gasp

“bye!” Sasha runs off to a different with the plate of bread

“bye-”

“Ereh, please. You need to eat”

“for the last time, I'm not eating! Is it that hard for you to understand?”

“...sorry..” Mikasa says quietly. She turns her solemn gaze from Eren to the table, hair in front of her eyes “I'm going to the toilet” she says, barely audible. But I can hear it. Unlike Eren. If he can hear her, he hasn't acknowledged it.

I'd be a way better partner than Eren. My last name even sounds better than his. “Mikasa L/N”. That sounds way better than “Mikasa Yeager”.

It hurts me to see her spend so much time on someone who doesn't appreciate everything she does. Does Eren not realise that he has one of, if not, the strongest person in the training corp under his belt? Willing to die for him if it came to it? Willing to kill herself if he so much as to suggest it.

What am I talking about? He clearly doesn't. If he did, he’d appreciate Mikasa like I do. Like she deserves.

Speaking of Mikasa, maybe I should check on her.

#aot x reader #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa ackerman x reader #aot angst #eremika #eren x mikasa #mikasa aot