#ronnie marshall

[mattey-stu]

MATTEY-STU'S MASTERLIST

Fandoms i write for:

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Castiel Novak

Saw

Adam Stanheight

Lawrence Gordon

Mark Hoffman

Peter Strahm

Daniel Matthews

Five Nights At Freddys

Michael Schmidt/Afton

William Afton/Steve Raglan

Mortal Kombat 1

Johnny Cage

Kenshi Takahashi

Resident Evil

Leon Scott Kennedy

Luis Serra

Carlos Oliveira,

Agent Patrick (from Resident evil: infinite darkness)

Ethan Winters

Chris Redfield

Albert Wesker

Scream

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

The Witcher

Geralt Of Rivia

Jaskier

The Princess Bride

Westley

The Crush (1993)

Nick

Cooties

Doug

You

Joe Goldberg

Forty Quinn

Gossip Girl

Dan Humphrey

Devil May Cry

Dante Sparda

I literally dk anything about the game or fandom hes just hot😞Someone educate me rn

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker

Kyle Spencer

Jimmy Darling

Other people I'll write for:

Skeet Ulrich, Matthew Lillard, Devon Bostick, Josh Hutcherson, Eddievr, Ronnieaintavampire, Juicyfruitsnacks, Chico Lachowski, Jordan Barrett, Cary Elwes, Evan Peters, Luis Gerardo Méndez

What i WILL write (as in smut):

Choking, degrading, maybe petplay, ftm reader + cis character, cis reader + ftm character, cis reader + cis character, ftm reader + ftm character, hair pulling, blood kink, if requested breeding kink, younger reader + older character, if requested stepson x stepdad (dont even ask.), teacher x student (both 18+), incest (again, do not even ask.) MIGHT write noncon.But only if requested

What i WONT write:

Minor user + 18+ character, 18+ user + minor character, pregnancy smut, sa, scat kink corpse fucking, foot kink, fem reader, fem character

What i WILL write (as in platonic fluff):

Dad x son, brother x brother, uncle x nephew

This is a male reader only blog.Females aligned please DNI.

LMAOO WHYD I WORD IT LIKE THAT

When writing smut i will make any possible 18- characters 18+.

Whatevers not on here i might write. :P also i dont kinkshame🫶🏼

I do not condone any of the acts i write about.

#scream #x male reader #ronnieaintavampire #ronnie marshall #the witcher #saw #kys #supernatural #the princess bride #tpb #mortal kombat #resident evil #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #the crush #the crush 1993 #cooties #cooties 2014 #billy loomis #stu macher #randy meeks #tim laflour #gay #x reader #carlos oliveira #i have cheese in my ass #idk how to tag this

[bayareabadboy]

#classic rock #hard rock #rock #day on the green #lynyrd skynyrd #ronnie van zant #southern rock #heavy metal #grateful Dead #Pat Travers #Marshall Tucker band #Elvin Bishop

[duranduratulsa]

Up next on my 90's Fest Movie and TV Marathon...Total Recall (1990) on glorious vintage VHS 📼! #movie #movies #scifi #actionadventure #totalrecall #arnoldschwarzenegger #RonnyCox #SharonStone #rachelticotin #michaelironside #MarshallBell #roybrocksmith #robertcostanzo #RobertPicardo #vintage #vhs #90s #90sfest #durandurantulsas2ndannual90sfest

#movie #movies #scifi #action adventure #total recall #Arnold Schwarzenegger #Michael Ironside #Sharon Stone #ronny cox #Rachel Ticotin #Marshall Bell #roy brocksmith #robert costanzo #Robert Picardo #mickey jones #vintage #vhs #90s fest #90s #duran duran tulsa's 2nd annual 90s fest

[grandvhs]

lista de nomes masculinos que estava no meu bloco de notas e eu só lembrei agora

starting with A ;;

aaron.

adair.

adam.

aiden.

ajax.

alec.

alfie.

allistar.

anderson.

andrew.

andy.

angus.

antonio.

anthony.

archer.

archibald.

archie.

aries.

arlo.

arthur.

ashley.

ashton.

austen.

avery.

axel.

starting with B ;;

bailey.

beau.

beckham.

beckett.

bellamy.

benjamin.

bennett.

bentley.

blade.

blake.

blaine.

blaise.

blue.

bobbie.

bodhi.

brad.

brandon.

braxton.

brayden.

brent.

brett.

brock.

brody.

brooke.

bryson.

starting with C ;;

caleb.

callum.

calvin.

cameron.

carlisle.

carlos.

carson.

carter.

casey.

chad.

chandler.

charlie.

chase.

chaz.

christian.

christopher.

cody.

colby.

cole.

cooper.

colton.

connor.

conrad.

corbin.

corey.

starting with D ;;

dakota.

dallas.

damien.

damon.

dante.

darian.

darron.

darryl.

david.

dawson.

declan.

demetri.

dennison.

denver.

derek.

diego.

diesel.

dimitri.

dixon.

dominic.

donovan.

drake.

drew.

dustin.

dwayne.

starting with E ;;

eason.

eaton.

eddy.

edmund.

edward.

elijah.

elior.

ellias.

elliot.

ellis.

elyas.

ember.

emerson.

emery.

emilio.

emmett.

enzo.

eric.

ernie.

ethan.

ethaniel.

evan.

everett.

everson.

ezar.

starting with F ;;

fabio.

fallon.

farah.

felix.

fernando.

ferris.

felton.

finn.

finnegan.

finnick.

fitz.

fitzgerald.

fletcher.

floyd.

flynn.

foley.

forest.

francisco.

franco.

frankie.

franklin.

fraser.

frasier.

freddie.

fredrik.

starting with G ;;

gabe.

gabriel.

gale.

gallagher.

garcia.

gareth.

garrett.

gary.

gavin.

gene.

george.

gerard.

gilbert.

giovanni.

glenn.

gordon.

grady.

graeme.

grant.

greggory.

gregor.

greyson.

griffin.

gus.

guy.

starting with H ;;

hadley.

hale.

haley.

hamilton.

hamish.

hansel.

harley.

harris.

harrison.

harry.

harvey.

haven.

hayes.

heath.

hector.

hendrix.

henrik.

henry.

holton.

howard.

hudson.

hugh.

hugo.

hunter.

hyde.

starting with I ;;

ian.

ibrahim.

icarius.

idris.

igor.

iman.

immanuel.

imran.

indi.

indiana.

indigo.

indra.

inrique.

irwin.

isaak.

isaiah.

isaias.

ishmael.

isobell.

israel.

ivan.

ivey.

ivor.

ivory.

izzy.

starting with J ;;

jack.

jacob.

jagger.

jai.

james.

jamie.

jason.

jaspar.

jaxon.

jaydon.

jed.

jeremy.

jesse.

jett.

joel.

jameson.

jonathon.

jordan.

jose.

joseph.

joshua.

jude.

julian.

junior.

justin.

starting with K ;;

kade.

kai.

kalen.

kameron.

kane.

kasey.

kayden.

keaton.

keegan.

keenan.

kellan.

kendall.

kendrick.

kevin.

khalil.

kian.

kiefer.

kieran.

kingsley.

kingston.

klaus.

kohen.

konrad.

kristoff.

kyle.

starting with L ;;

lachlan.

lamar.

lambert.

lance.

landon.

langston.

lawrence.

lawson.

leeroy.

lennon.

leo.

leonardo.

levi.

lewis.

liam.

lincoln.

lionel.

logan.

lorenzo.

louis.

luca.

lucas.

lucky.

lucis.

luke.

starting with M ;;

mackenzie.

madden.

maddox.

malaki.

malcolm.

manuel.

marco.

marcus.

marley.

marshall.

martin.

mason.

matteo.

matthew.

max.

micah.

michael.

miguel.

mike.

miles.

miller.

milo.

mitchell.

morgan.

moses

starting with N ;;

nadir.

naiser.

nasir.

nate.

nathan.

nathaniel.

naveen.

naydon.

ned.

nico.

neil.

nelson.

nero.

nicholai.

nicholas.

nila.

niles.

nixon.

noah.

noel.

nolan.

norman.

north.

nylan.

nyle.

starting with O ;;

oakley.

ocean.

octavius.

odell.

olaf.

oliver.

ollie.

omar.

omari.

orion.

orlando.

osborn.

oscar.

o’shea.

osten.

oswald.

otis.

otto.

owen.

oxley.

starting with P ;;

pablo.

page.

palmer.

parker.

parrish.

patrick.

paul.

paulo.

pax.

paxton.

payton.

penn.

percy.

perry.

peter.

phineas.

phoenix.

pierce.

pierre.

prescott.

presley.

preston.

prince.

princeton.

puck.

starting with Q ;;

qadim.

qadir.

quain.

quenby.

quill.

quimby.

quincy.

quinn.

quinten.

starting with R ;;

randy.

raymond.

reese.

reid.

remy.

reuben.

rhett.

rhys.

richard.

richie.

ricky.

riley.

robert.

robin.

roger.

roman.

romeo.

ronan.

ronnie.

ross.

rowen.

ryan.

ryder.

ryker.

rylan.

starting with S ;;

sage.

sailor.

salem.

samson.

samuel.

sascha.

sawyer.

saxon.

scott.

sean.

sebastian.

seth.

shane.

shiloh.

simon.

sinclair.

skyler.

sonny.

spencer.

stanley.

stefan.

steven.

stevie.

storm.

sullivan.

starting with T ;;

tamir.

tanner.

tate/tait.

tatum.

taylor.

teddy.

theo.

thomas.

timothy.

tobias.

toby.

todd.

tommy.

tory.

trace.

travis.

trent.

trevor.

trey.

tristan.

troye.

tucker.

tyler.

tyrone.

tyson.

starting with U ;;

umair.

umar.

urien.

usama.

starting with V ;;

valentine.

valentino.

vance.

vaughn.

victor.

vincent.

vinn.

vinnie.

vladimir.

starting with W ;;

wade.

walden.

wallace.

walter.

warner.

warren.

warrick.

waylan.

wayne.

wendall.

wes.

wesley.

west.

whitley.

wilbert.

william.

willis.

wilmer.

windsor.

winslow.

winston.

wolf.

wren.

wyatt.

wynter.

starting with X ;;

xachary.

xan.

xander.

xavier.

xeno.

ximen.

xylon.

starting with Y ;;

yahto.

yakub.

yasin.

yasi.

york.

ysrael.

yuri.

yusef.

starting with Z ;;

zachary.

zahir.

zander.

zane.

zavier.

zed.

zeke.

zion.

zolten.

#name ideas #male names #nomes masculinos #rpg #prompt #writing help #list

[qqueenofhades]

what was happening with deregulation in the US in the late 20th century? a lot of time I hear things in [blank] industry were okay and then Reagan/1980s happened.

Aha. Ahahhahaha. Ahahaha. HAH.

Basically: yes. Unbelievable as it may sound, the Republican party did once have a policy platform that consisted of more than "torment gay people, women, and people of color as much as possible while worshiping a deranged orange con man wannabe dictator." There are many trenchant analyses to be written on how they fell so far, though a large part of that must point out the abject white hysteria that resulted after Obama was elected in 2008, the institutional guardians of white supremacy realized that they hadn't done "well enough" at keeping a black man out of the White House, and two years later, we had the Tea Party. (Who, frankly, look almost cute and cuddly compared to the QAnon insurrectionist nutcases today.) However, I digress.

In the immediately post-World War II West, government spending was actually seen as a good thing, coming on the heels of Franklin D. Roosevelt's landmark New Deal that overhauled US social safety nets and public spending. The US-backed Marshall Plan was developed to restore Europe, and war hero general, the Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower, was elected president in 1953. During the two terms of his presidency (1953-61), the top marginal tax bracket was a whopping 91%. This itself was lower than the absolute maximum tax rate, which in 1944 rose to 94% of all income over $200,000 ($2.5 million in today's money). Not surprisingly, during Eisenhower's presidency, the US built the interstate system, developed the space program, and actually had money to fund public services and schools. This was the era when you could go to a public university for about fifty bucks a semester and buy a house on minimum wage, in your first job after you graduated. (Yes, I know this is enraging.) Not to paint too rosy a picture -- after all, this was the 1950s, with its violent Jim Crow laws, electroshock therapy as a common and accepted "remedy" for homosexuality, and attempts to force women back into the domestic sphere after their liberation during WWII -- but yes, it did relentlessly tax the wealthy and spend the profits on civic and public infrastructure. This all happened under Eisenhower, who was, again, a Republican.

High taxes on the wealthy remained a staple through the 1960s and 70s. In 1964, the topmost bracket was lowered to 77%, and in 1965, to 70%, where it remained until 1981. You may recognize this as Ronnie Raygun's first year in office. Then it was slashed to 50%, while Reagan hiked taxes on lower earners (despite his reputation as the Great Economizer, he raised taxes twelve different times during his eight years in office). By 1987, the highest marginal tax rate for an individual had plunged all the way to 28 percent (this down from the aforementioned high-nineties and middle seventies). Corporate and capital gains tax rates also took a dive, in the name of establishing what was forever after known as "Reagonomics," "supply-side economics," or "trickle-down economics." In short, in the thinking of the early 1980s Republican party, all this excessive taxation and government regulation was hindering the "pure" operation of the free market, and unfortunately, the market turmoil, gas shortages, and economic crashes of the 1970s made this a winning political platform. So cut the taxes, cut the rules, let the wealthy entrepreneurs do their thing, and they'll make so much money that they'll just benevolently hand it down to the lower classes!

That, again, might sound totally ludicrous, but it was the core of Reagonomics' magical thinking: enable the rich to make as much money as possible, and the rest of the economy will sort itself out. Well, as you may know, that, uh, did not happen. When you allow rich people to keep all the money they make, it turns out that they just hoard it, and don't actually altruistically pass it down to the lower classes. This slash in tax rates had to be accompanied, as mentioned, by removing all the bothersome rules and regulations that tried to ensure the ethical operation of the government and major companies. This was also a Reagan-specific innovation. Even Richard Goddamn Nixon (also a Republican) was fairly liberal on social programs and had created the Environmental Protection Agency and the Clean Water Act in 1972. The Reagan gang wanted that gutted, because it did annoying things like police the amount of toxic chemicals in groundwater, and that could interfere with making big-bucks profits. All those rules had to go, because again, they interfered with the so-called "Invisible Hand" of the market wherein it would, allegedly, automatically correct and police itself. Anything that made money for corporations was Good. Anything that didn't was Bad.

Reagan then joined this all-for-the-rich economic strategy with the other toxic element gaining power in American politics at this time: the religious right. Prior to the late 70s and early 80s, Christian conservatives had seen politics as something too grubby and of-this-world for true believers to concern themselves with; they only had to worry about heaven and the world to come. But with the rise of televangelists like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and the rest of the miserable crew, white evangelical Christians were mobilized to vote in large numbers -- and consistently -- for the first time. (Unfortunately for the rest of us, they have never stopped.) There was no chance of them joining the Democratic party, which had already horrified them with its acceptance of black people, the Voting Rights Act, the Civil Rights movement, and the federal push to desegregate schools and colleges (see especially the SCOTUS case Bob Jones University v. United States, 1983). So they found a welcoming home in the revamped Republican party, where economic and social conservatism made a happy marriage. Reagan was probably about as genuinely religious as Trump was (and as a former actor, he also came from an entertainment background), but he knew how to use the language and symbols of the religious right to cast himself as their shining moral hero (his campaign slogan in 1980 was, you guessed it, "Make America Great Again.") This, of course, played into Reagan's handling of the AIDS crisis, which was basically: just ignore it, it's God appropriately punishing those dirty homos.

Combined with his apocalyptic rhetoric about the Cold War, which drove the conflict to unsustainable levels before Reagan finally realized that maybe that wasn't a great idea, and his tendency to see the American president as an unaccountable monarch who didn't need to sully himself with asking Congress for approval (most notably exemplified in the Iran-Contra scandal of 1986, which almost brought down the administration), we can see all the ugly seeds of the lunatic far-right white-grievance cruelty machine that we're stuck with under the label of the Republican party today. This neoliberal economic policy was eagerly continued in the 90s under Bush Senior and Clinton: cut taxes, cut regulation, don't let anything get in the way of the Free Market. Which has led us to the wild income inequality we now have, the way billionaires and corporations have been largely able to completely shield their mega-profits from any taxation at all, and the resulting starvation of the middle and lower classes. What used to be automatically paid for, i.e. college, now has to be extensively loaned for, and that debt will usually never be fully paid off. There's no way a person can survive on one minimum-wage job, let alone buy a house.

We are only now talking about maybe, finally, imposing a 15% base rate for corporate taxation around the world. Fifteen percent. In America, it used to be as high as fifty-two percent (in the late 60s). Can you even imagine the abject screaming about socialism if that was proposed again today? Because yes, Reagan and the 1980s happened, and this is now what we're stuck with. Thanks for nothing, Gipper. Fuck you. Fuck you very much.

#anonymous #ask #history #modern history #american history #ronald reagan burn in hell

[skylarynns-silverado]

Character Source List

Sources [usually films or television shows - anything else will have notation] will be in bold. Characters will be formatted with their in-universe name, followed by the original character in italics. Name formatting will be [First Name] [Middle Name] ["Nick Name"] [Maiden Name/Original Surname] [Married Name/Taken Surname] as applicable. I will probably also be adding links to everything, but later.

Wanted: Dead or Alive 1958-1961 Joshua Everett "Josh" Randall - Josh Randall

Rawhide 1959-1965 Randolph Jacob "Rowdy" Yates - Rowdy Yates

The Magnificent Seven 1960 Franklin Vaughn "Frank" Randall - Vin Giovanni Vittorio "Gio" Auditore - Bernardo O'Reilly Brittony "Britt" Calvin - Britt Byron Allen Lee III - Lee Carlos "Chico" Hernandez - Chico

The Dollars Trilogy 1964-1966 Jonas Blake "Joey" Yates - The Man With No Name / Joe/Manco/Blondie

Hang 'Em High 1968 Jeremy Cooper "Jed" Yates - Jed Cooper Rachel Warren - Rachel Warren

Once Upon a Time in the West 1969 Emilio "Harmonica" Arman - Harmonica Jorge Gutierrez - Cheyenne

Rustlers' Rhapsody 1985 Revelin "Rex" O'Houlihan - Rex O'Herlihan Peter Twist - Peter

Silverado 1985 [to be honest I'm taking almost all the characters, but main characters/love interests:] Emmett Martell - Emmett Paden Cassidy - Paden Tyree Ransom Ekker - Tyree Hannah Kincaid Weslan [Cobb] - Hannah Weslan Malachi "Mal" Johnson - Malachi "Mal" Johnson Jacob "Rattlesnake Jake" Martell - Jake Stella Bonneville - Stella Rae Johnson - Rae Johnson Phoebe Hartshorne - Phoebe

Quigley Down Under 1990 Matthew Quigley - Matthew Quigley

Maverick 1994 Bret Maverick [Jr.] - Bret Maverick Annabelle Bransford - Annabelle Bransford

The Marshal 1995 Veronica "Ronnie" Davis - Veronica Cole

The Quick and the Dead 1995 Jessamy "Jessie" MacIntyre - The Lady / Ellen Cameron "Cam" McPhee - The Kid / Fee Herod Cortney "Cort" Cobb - Cort

The Magnificent Seven 1998-2000 [much like Silverado I'm taking almost all the characters, but main characters/love interests:] Christian "Chris" Larabee - Chris Larabee Vincent Ulysses "Vin" Tanner - Vin Tanner Nathan Jackson - Nathan Jackson John Daniel "J.D." Dunne - J.D. Dunne Buck Wilmington - Buck Wilmington Ezra Phineas Standish - Ezra Standish Mary Travis - Mary Travis Casey Welles - Casey Welles Inez Recillos - Inez Recillos

Firefly 2002 Robert Malcolm "Bobby" Reynolds - Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds Zoe Martinez - Zoe Alleyne Washbourne Jayne Cobb - Jayne Cobb Eleena Vasquez - Inara Serra Simon Morgan - Simon Tam River Morgan - River Tam Kaylee Frye - Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye Sheppard Book - Derrial Book

Supernatural 2005-2020 John Winchester - John Winchester Dean Winchester - Dean Winchester Samuel "Sam" Winchester - Samuel "Sam" Winchester

3:10 to Yuma 2007 Daniel "Dan" Evans - Daniel "Dan" Evans William "Will" Evans - William Evans Benjamin "Ben" Wade - Ben Wade Charles "Charlie" Prince - Charlie Prince

Six of Crows 2015 Caspian/Casimir "Caz" Zima Winters - Kaz Brekker Haruko - Inej Ghafa Christophe "Kit Benny" Benoit - Jesper Fahey Wyatt Vanderbilt - Wylan Van Eck Hannah "Nan" Gallagher - Nina Zenik

The Magnificent Seven 2016 Samuel "Sam" Chisolm - Sam Chisolm Joshua "Josh" Faraday - Josh Faraday Manuel Vasquez - Vasquez Goodnight "Goody" Robicheaux - Goodnight "Goody" Robicheaux Billy Rocks - Billy Rocks Red Harvest - Red Harvest Emma Cullen - Emma Cullen

The Hunters 2020 [a series I am currently working on writing] Elias Hawkins - Elias Walker Hawkins Lucas "Luke" Hearne - Faolan Lucas "Luke" MacTiernan Auryon "Aury" Hearne - Auryon "Aury" Hearne-MacTiernan Hawkins Sebastian "Owl Eyes" St. James Cheyenne - Sylvain Alistair Abigale "Abby" McKenzie - Kindra Arden

Jessta James Music Videos 2021-2022 [specifically Hell's Coming With Me, Loaded Gun, and War Cry] Josiah "Josey" James - Jessta James

Original Characters 2023+ [that I've made for the project] Melissa "Missy" Ekker - Tyree's mother Bethany "Beth" Skinner - a love interest

#wanted: dead or alive #rawhide #the magnificent seven #the dollars trilogy #hang 'em high #rustlers' rhapsody #silverado 1985 #once upon a time in the west #quigley down under #maverick 1994 #the marshal 1995 #the quick and the dead #firefly #supernatural #3:10 to yuma #six of crows #jessta james #ocs

[commonguttersnipe]

Baggy Trousers Down Python Road: Chapter 4- Sir. I'm a coward.

There was a ghost roaming the halls of MacNaughton School… according to Bert Nudge. It started at Tuesday dinner. During the sacred tradition of pushing slimy semolina around their bowls, Bert proposed that there was an evil presence amongst them. Apparently, a frail figure was gliding across the dorm room corridor, wailing like a banshee, coaxing humans into its slender arms. Other than Ronnie, no one else was convinced.

“Pull the other one Bert” Bevis stared down at his inedible dessert with disdain.

“No really! Would I lie about this?” His voice was frantic. 

“Yes.” They all said in unison. First the bloodthirsty rabbit in the gardens and now this. His initials might as well have been ‘BS’. Bert, however, was convinced there was someone, or something, out there. Done with dessert, the friends went to investigate. Earlier than the rest of their classmates, they crept on the tattered carpets with the hopes of finding a spirit. Ronnie stayed behind. He often did. 

Isaac led the group, slightly more fearless than the others. Bert clung to Louis and Louis clung to Bevis and Bevis clung to Bert. The November evening had cast its cold shadows through the windows and every sound sounded ear-splitting. That’s when they heard it.

A deep, guttural moan.

Bevis screamed first, his shriek reaching almost soprano levels, prompting the rest of the boys to follow him in a domino of yelps. 

Mr Idle was on his way back to his lodgings when three sweaty and sobbing 13-year-olds ran into him. After trying to calm them down (which had little to no effect), he asked them what had gotten them into such a flap. Bevis explained, all his words coming out in a hyperventilated mess. Mr Idle listened and tried not to laugh. The sheer commitment to the terror was impressive, but the school couldn’t be haunted. Ghosts weren’t real and he was prepared to die on that hill. Sensing that the boys were still shaken, he invited them for a cup of Hot Chocolate in the Teacher’s Lounge. Michael and Eileen were there. Eric decided that this was a them problem.

The next week, an unwell Robin Birdall was weaving through the labyrinth to the matron’s office. The strawberry blond found himself jumping at every creak and thwack of branches against the window panes. Gale had offered to go with him and he had turned down his friend’s camaraderie. Severely regretting it, he trudged forward, his little green slippers tapping on the floor. He had only the stairs and he was there. Carefully walking down, he heard the moan the Year 9s had been conspiring about. Hesitantly, he looked up. There stood a sallow figure, a billowing nightgown blowing in the draft. His moans became more like cries. Not that Robin stayed long enough to determine the noise. He sprinted down the rest of the stairs and frantically kicked the Matron’s door open. Miss Weston wasn’t particularly pleased but she slapped a paper towel on his sick head and chalked it all up to a fever.

Soon, news of this spirit had spread throughout the school. Faculty were constantly being bothered with sightings and origin stories, each explanation being met with hysteria. Mr Chapman humoured them, saying it must be a friendly spirit if it is calling for help. Mr Palin chose comfort, complimenting their overactive imagination and confidently declaring that nothing would hurt them. Mr Cleese turned it to his advantage and threatened that he and the ghost were in cahoots to stop the pupils from misbehaving in lessons. 

However, the older years were less taken with the idea of a paranormal entity in their presence. 

Marshall Pither liked ghost stories but that’s all they were to him. Stories. From several heated debates with Quince, he found out his friend felt much the same way. Agreeing with them was Paul but that boy had the same creativity as a brutalist flat. 

“I mean… Imagine if this determined the existence of the spirit realm!” Quince flicked through his comics as Marshall excitedly paced. 

“They couldn’t be real, but the fact is they might be!” Marshall’s round face turned pink as he readjusted his glasses. Quince didn't look up. Paul was asleep.

“Quince?” He playfully shoved his friend, who shoved him back in return. The taller boy didn’t respond, a bit creeped out. Marshall decided to drop it, his imagination going wild with the scientific progress that could be right under their noses. 

Elliot Ximenez took this rumour remarkably seriously. Paranoid and obsessive, this sudden supernatural frenzy confirmed his own fears. He spent his days reading into the devil’s servants and now it seemed that they roamed around his hallowed ground. 

“Satan’s serpents are here! One glides across our chambers condemning us. We need to act before our souls are left clawing in the trail of mud down to hell itself!” Elliot spat. This got no reaction. Zachery was making paper snowflakes, Samuel was reading, Jim was motorboating Aggie and Ernie was watching keenly. Turned out, his fellow seekers of light were not as concerned with the malevolent phantom running amuck. 

Tallulah Blanc, however, was. A corkboard with all the sightings and details was hung up in her dorm, with Jocasta regularly updating it. Both of them believed this to be a cruel prank, as did Jack and Tommy (though they considered themselves too busy to be bothered by it).

“Jocasta love?” Tallulah put on her dressing gown. Her roommate, also robed in her nightdress, grabbed her torch “Remember to be quiet”. 

The two ghostbusters left the safety of their room and tip-toed to the 2nd floor, anxiously awaiting to catch their ‘spirit’. An hour later, the shrill howling began. Petrified, Jocasta approached the stairs, Tallulah holding her hand. They looked up.

There it was.

They wanted to run but couldn’t. Screams wouldn’t manifest and they stood at the bottom of the stairs gawking at the mysterious white sheet.

It spoke. 

“I-I’m sorry” It… sniffed? Jocasta lowered her torch and climbed the steps. Tallulah looked at her roommate in awe with wide and wild eyes. Once the intrepid girl had reached the apparition, she was faced with a very small boy. He was sickly pale and his dirty blond hair ricocheted the light from her torch, almost appearing as a halo. His eyes were puffy and crimson from his continuous sobbing and his long nightshirt sleeves were drenched in his own tears.

“It’s just a Year 7” Jocasta called, prompting her curious friend to join her upstairs.

“So it is!” she exclaimed in her soft tone “What’s your name sweetie?”

The boy started to blubber.

“Herbert Swampcastle… and I want my papa!” He promptly flung himself at Jocasta and proceeded to sob into her chest. Holding the inconsolable child, she motioned to her taller friend to get help.

Herbert had joined a bit later than the rest of the Year 7s and was having trouble fitting in. His father had come into possession of a withering construction company and wanted him out of the way. Sensitive and empathetic, this was tearing the poor tween apart.

Unfortunately, the only teacher awake to help was Mr Cleese (who appeared very sweaty and bothered when he opened the door), who was not very understanding about the situation. Herbert was given a shot of Bovril and sent to his dorm, which was then promptly locked for the rest of the year.

The two girls then returned to their room, their two other bunkmates, Petra and Jeanie fast asleep.

“I think we did a rather splendid job, Jocasta love…” Tallulah snuggled under the covers, her eyes closing as sleep consumed her. She didn’t reply. She just watched her friend drift off, with the hope that another ghost would return to the halls. She was desperate to have her hand held again.

#monty python #monty python’s flying circus #graham chapman #john cleese #eric idle #terry jones #michael palin #monty python fanfiction

[ingek73]

King Charles looked for heroes to honour – and picked William, Kate and Camilla. Laugh? Cry? You choose

Can we really say Britain has a modernised monarchy when archaic titles are being handed out as if it were 1348, not 2024

Wed 24 Apr 2024 13.11 CESTS

I wonder if I should award myself an honour, something grand-sounding. How about Most Excellent Keeper of the Belfry? It has a nice ring about it, even if I have done nothing to deserve it. That latter consideration is of course no bar to our fossilised royal family who have this week breezily been giving themselves ludicrous sounding honours as if this were 1724, not 2024.

Camilla is now, as of yesterday, the Grand Master of the Order of the British Empire. What empire, you might ask? Rockall was Ronnie Barker’s pithy response, and that was about 40 years ago.

Kate is now a Companion of Honour, an award reserved for those who have excelled in the world of the arts, medicines, or science. Is this perhaps for creative doctoring of photographs?

The Duchess of Gloucester – there’s a household name – has been made a Member of the Order of the Garter, an Order created by the king in 1348 to reward his court favourites (while, incidentally, beyond the palace walls, much of the population was dying from the Black Death).

William has not missed out either (even if Harry has). The Prince of Wales is now Great Master of the Order of the Bath. Well it won’t wash.

The honours in themselves are absurd, and make the mythical Ruritania look like a beacon of modernity. So much for the spin from the palace that the monarchy was going to be modernised under Charles. Perhaps the latest medals are to be made from recycled precious metals?

Even more absurd, if that is possible, is the notion that the royal family can with a straight face award medals to themselves.

Take the Royal Family Order. This is awarded to female members of the royal family simply for being female. And for being a member of the royal family. Not a terribly high bar if you happen to be female and are born or marry into the family.

Then there are the military honours and decorations. Charles himself has accumulated dozens of medals, enough almost to sink one of the battleships under his command as a five star admiral. Oh, and he is also a five star general in the army and a five star air chief marshal in the RAF.

What stupendous military service or acts of bravery have led to this avalanche of medals? Well, he did captain a coastal minesweeper several decades ago for a short period. And he has only crashed a plane once.

The royals in fact have amassed between them over 100 military medals and decorations, and for what? Prince Edward, the Royal Honorary Colonel of the Royal Wessex Yeomanry, has never seen active service and even dropped out of his Royal Marines course because he couldn’t hack it.

Prince Andrew, to be fair, did merit his South Atlantic medal for service in the Falklands War. But did anyone stop to question whether it was a good idea, in 2011, when he was mired in accusations relating to his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and serious questions were being asked about his self-serving activities as the UK’s trade ambassador, that he should be awarded the Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order, a highly prestigious award in the archaic hierarchy of these things.

This latest set of nepotistic awards makes the royal family look ridiculous, arrogant and breezily self-serving. It also illustrates graphically how our monarchy is still an imperial one, wedded to a distant past and totally out of touch with modern Britain.

Moreover, giving themselves high honours like loose change when they have done nothing to deserve them serves to cheapen the value of the honours received by those who do deserve them. What is your one medal for outstanding bravery worth when Charles can pin dozens to his chest?

The whole honours system, started in 1348, has been about patronage. This easy corruption of the ideal of merit so graphically and repeatedly shown by the royals in their own favour is consequently mirrored further down the ladder, as prime ministers hand out life peerages and knighthoods to their mates, and to those who have given their party large amounts of money.

A proper honours system which allows society to recognise outstanding achievement is very worthwhile. But we don’t have it. Those who deserve and receive honours are lost in the trivial, the corrupt and the absurd.

I am reminded of an old television advert whose punchline was: “Award yourself the CDM – Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.”

Norman Baker was the Liberal Democrat MP for Lewes from 1997 to 2015

#abolish the monarchy #king charles III #Camilla Parker Bowles #Prince William #Kate Middleton #Anti Monarchy #the Guardian #Norman Baker

[feuerspirit]

The development of safety in F1 through the years and numerous fatal accidents

So, here is a rather voluminous article that I once wrote, and, in fact, I still love it and maybe someone here will appreciate it too. TW! mention of injury, accident and death

Formula 1 went to the existing rules for a long time, through thorns, protests and accidents.

The races of the mid-20th century weren’t distinguished by safety in everything: from fragile cars suffering from constant breakdowns and design flaws, to the organization of races. In 1968, at the Hockenheimring, safety problems led to the death of one of the legendary racers: James Clark Jr. There is no single version about the causes of Jim Clark's death, since there are no thoroughly documented circumstances of his accident. 

Old Hockenheimring didn’t “shine” with safety even by the standards of the 70s: ditches on the edges of the track, the forest adjacent to the track. The history of the route played a role: built back in 1932, it partially used forest roads, which had its consequences.

Jim himself said: "From time to time I think about the danger. Especially when there are a lot of trees around. If you fly out, then most likely you will have to hit them hard." The words turned out to be prophetic.

On a wet track after the rain, his car lost control (versions from a burst tire to a rear suspension malfunction common at that time and problems with fuel supply), hit trees standing next to the track and fell apart into several parts. Jim was taken to the hospital, but nothing could be done.

His death had a significant impact on safety, pointing out the weaknesses of the organization: ditches and trees were removed, fences appeared on all tracks, gravel traps and departure zones significantly increasing safety, two chicanes were added at the Hockenheimring,

However, barriers didn’t become a panacea, and in the following years many riders were injured and died when they collided with fences that had many shortcomings in their designs. Just 2 years after Jim's accident, died from a poorly installed fence the only driver who received the title posthumously: Jochen Rindt.

In September 1970, Jochen crashed on the Monza. The official cause of the accident was called a breakdown of the axle shaft, but neither this breakdown nor the accident itself could lead to a tragedy. Fatal were the shortcomings of the safety system: the joint of the bump, into which the car flew, wasn’t sufficiently secured, and the car hit the rack, which caused the entire front part of the car to be destroyed. The last factor was the seat belts. Jochen, who had already been in an accident, was terrified of burning alive in the car, not having time to unfasten in time, so instead of the five-point belts that already existed at that time, he used outdated three-point belts that simply couldn’t provide a suitable fixation. The lack of restraining straps from below led to the fact that after the impact, Jochen's body moved lower in the seat, and the upper belt damaged his neck and throat in a way that he had no chance of surviving.

Jochen wasn’t the only victim of the shortcomings of the barriers and the low level of car safety, but his accident clearly showed that collisions, with due care, leading to bruises and minor injuries, can lead to death.

Most of all could tell about the terrified attitude to safety at the races Ronnie Peterson. The accident in which he got in Monza in 1978 had every chance of becoming an ordinary, if not for the absolute negligence on the part of the organizers of the race. A retelling of the mistakes made this weekend can take several full pages, considering sequentially the entire chain of events that led to the tragedy.

In the accident in which Ronnie was injured, 10 cars collided simultaneously on a narrow section of the already extremely unsafe Monza: marshals didn’t wear fireproof uniforms, signal flags weren’t used, departure zones weren’t equipped, the track itself wasn’t modified in accordance with safety regulations. The fuel spilled over the track instantly burst into flames, engulfing the broken cars, the flames couldn’t be quickly brought down, and the racers, fearing the consequences of the fire, pulled Ronnie out themselves.

Ronnie wasn’t the only one who was injured in the accident, moreover, Ronnie received only fractures of both legs, while several other riders received serious head injuries due to blows from the tires that flew off the cars, which greatly influenced further events. Ronnie's assistance began to be provided only 15 minutes after he was removed from the car, the medical staff of the track walked to the scene of the accident on foot, making their way through the crowd and the police, who didn’t let them through for a long time, and Ronnie was initially carried on a stretcher to the medical center of the track, and only then taken to the hospital. The cause of death was an embolism – particles of tissues and bones got into the circulatory system and clogged the vessels in the lungs and heart.

Racing accidents are inevitable, especially on dangerous tracks, the reaction is important, and in Ronnie's case there was no justification for such negligence on the part of all those responsible. With the proper level of safety, such injuries would never have become fatal, which was confirmed a few years later when another rider received similar injuries.

The consequences of Ronnie's accident for the overall safety level were very significant, and these changes saved the lives of more than one rider. Safety standards were raised at the Monza, firefighters were taught to extinguish cars in 30-40 seconds on all tracks so that racers didn’t have to be pulled out of the fire, and medical care was transferred from the receiving tracks to the F1 Teams Association, which increased the level of medical care organization and ensured equal safety for pilots on all tracks.

Probably the most famous victim of Formula 1 accidents was Ayrton Senna, who crashed on the "black weekend" of Formula 1 – at the 1994 Imola.

After the 94th Imola, the tragedy of which was largely determined by the insufficient level of passive safety, the FIA gathered a group of experts who engaged in a scientific assessment of the situation and made a number of proposals to improve the safety of racing. Crash tests have been tightened, and speeds have been reduced. The standards according to which the helmets of racers are made have been revised, the fencing of the tracks has been improved, the approach to the construction of race tracks and to the development of chassis has been changed.

In addition, Ayrton's death served as a catalyst for the adoption of special rules outside of motorsport. Euro NCAP was formed - the European committee for conducting independent crash tests of cars with an assessment of active and passive safety, which has the support of seven governments in the EU, as well as automotive and consumer organizations in all EU countries.

The latest, at the moment, the most obvious innovation in the field of safety was the Halo – introduced in F-1, 2, 3 and FE element of the safety frame made of aviation titanium (in F3 of steel) and located around the driver's head. The introduction of Halo was a response to many accidents during which riders received head and neck injuries due to blows, but probably the most obvious indicator of the need for urgent changes was the accident of Jules Bianchi, who died from the consequences of a severe head injury on the Suzuka in 2014.

Various head and cervical spine injuries have remained a significant problem for all racing series for many years, since none of them had a sufficient level of passive safety. This tragic trend continued until the introduction of a complete head protection system in the series (and F1 as well), consisting of: a neck and head protection system (HANS), a side head support system, a helmet, a safety arc and the Halo itself.

Halo, as introduced by one of the last and significantly changed the appearance of the car, clearly showed that any innovation in F1, even repeatedly justified from the point of view of safety, meets resistance from conservative-minded participants of the "grand circus of Formula 1", and many changes are postponed for a long time, while there are debates between supporters and opponents of innovations. Some of the changes are postponed until it becomes impossible not to accept them.

F1, like many other structures, is very reluctant to reform, remaining faithful to traditions, even if some of these traditions are frankly dangerous. There were other accidents, fatal and not, which gave rise to many changes to the regulations of racing safety, and many of them were met with distrust, and sometimes outright hostility. However, time proves that these changes were inevitable and necessary to save human lives.

#f1 #formula 1 #Jim Clark #Jochen Rindt #Ronnie Peterson #Ayrton Senna #Jules Bianchi #Hockenheimring #Monza #Imola #Suzuka

[mattey-stu]

Ftm!Ronnieaintavampire x male!reader

I wrote this on new years eve n i was horny asf so excuse the bad writing PLEASE

BTW THIS IS SMUT WITHOUT PLOT

As Ronnie was sucking [Name]'s cock, swirling his tongue around it, trying to take it deep down in his throath..[Name] was talking to him. He just liked to do that sometimes. It was new years eve and Ronnie has been fuckin & suckin him all night.

"Baby, youve been fucking me for hours without any breaks. The fuck is going on?Are you on your period?"

"No, [Name]."

Ronnie said with half a cock in his mouth.

"I just- im so horny..The way you touched me and looked at me at [Friend name]'s house..It was so fucking hot."

He said, his british accent clinking just right trough.

"Well, cant say youre wrong there. And the pictures i took of you in bed yesterday..Right before i fucked you dumb like i always do. Yknow.I fucking love when youre shirtless. Especially in the morning. And the way you were looking at me while i was holding your face..So fucking hot, baby."

*Ronnie stopped sucking for a moment.*

"Do you really think i was hot?"

"I always think youre hot. Besides, youre fucking beautiful. No wonder why you get blowjob requests all day."

*[Name] chuckled at his own joke.*

"Oh, [nickname]..Can you atleast rail me?My pussys drenching in wetness."

"Of course i can, Rons.I should fuck that stupid mutt ass of yours too."

"Oh yes you fucking should. You should cum inside me. Breed me."

"Oh i fucking will. Ill spill my hot seed inside you and get you pregnant, baby. Full of my babies."

Ronnie finally sat on Matts dick, facing him.

"Youre so fucking pretty. Now bounce on my cock like the good boy you are."

If Ronnies uncomfortable with these kind of posts i'll take it off

#ronnieaintavampire #ronnie marshall #pleasegoviral #x male reader #gay #x reader #kys <3

[artisticlegshake]

RADIX NATIONALS RESULTS 2023

SENIOR PROTEGE TOP 31:

Makenna Miller - MATHER

Cayla Bennish - THE ROCK

Randi Moraga - DANCE XPLOSION

Iliana Victor - STARS

Ava La France - NOR CAL

Kenzie Robertson - CCJ

Isabel Joves - IMPACT

Brandon Torres - DANCE ACADEMY MONTERREY

Sabine Nehls - THE ROCK

Emma Mather - MATHER

Zoe Konhilas - DANCEPLEX

Alexis Schueller - THE DIFFERENCE

Sofia Posada - FOCAL POINT

Kaylyn Nelson - Z COMPANY

Solea Chaidez - NOR CAL

Hailey Nieva - DANCEPLEX

Keagan Capps - THE POINTE PAC

Ronnie Lewis - MATHER

Elle Dimos - BRENT STREET

Jordyn Green - NOR CAL

Sophia Albornoz - MATHER

Jaidyn Johns - PAVE

Levi Sherman - SUMMIT

Alex Dinero - DANCEPLEX

Emily Madden - MATHER

Kaitlyn Allen - STUDIO 19

Maile Cochran - THE ROCK

Anthony Ciaccio - THE BASEMENT

Lily Goehring - PRODIGY TRAINING

Madison Marshall - THE COLLABORATIVE

Tyra Polke - THE ROCK

[memwazz]

C'MON ARTHUR, you Bi Disaster, make an effort !

In the canon, Arthur is supposed to be rather physically attractive and his soft and kind personality makes him quite popular.

He had some love affairs with women in his youth and after his divorce and a lot of people wish they could have one with him.

And it's not a problem with girls, he totally gets the flirting signs.

BUT this dork doesn't know yet he's actually bi af and never notices when men are attracted to him. Even his closest friends !

Ezra has been crushing on him for TWENTY-FOUR years at the beginning of the story and it's very obvious for everybody. And his good old friend Ronnie sometimes does very very explicit sexual innuendoes... But Arthur doesn't get ANYTHING and wouldn't even imagine men could love or desire him 🤦

... It would be forgetting everyone in the canon is actually simping Arthur.

This Bi Disaster is so innocent I'm dying from frustration.

#sdu #seven #seven division united #oc #original character #arthur wentworth #ezra marshall #ronnie wyde #gay #queer #bisexual #bi disaster #comic #short comic #lgbt #love #desire #shitpost

[projazznet]

Sun Ra and His Arkestra – Jazz in Silhouette

Jazz in Silhouette is the third studio album by pianist-composer Sun Ra and His Arkestra. It was recorded on March 6, 1959, and released in May of the same year.

“It is a prime example of Ra and company in a transitional phase, prior to their full-fledged explorations into the avant-garde.” – Lindsay Planer/AllMusic.

Sun Ra - piano, celeste, gong

Hobart Dotson - trumpet

Pat Patrick - baritone sax, flute, percussion

Charles Davis - baritone sax, percussion

John Gilmore - tenor sax, percussion

William Cochran - drums

Marshall Allen - alto sax, flute

James Spaulding - alto sax, flute, percussion

Ronnie Boykins - bass

Bo Bailey – trombone

#sunra #arkestra #avantgarde #projazznet

[frog-e-box]

HELLLOOOO I PRESENT YOU!!! A portrait lineup of the main characters of my story!!!! (Lady in the first photo doesn't belong to me :3) SO HERE'S THEEE NAMES OF EVERYONE

-James Grant, Frederick Manford, Ronnie Watkins, Ruth Wayne (The 'Double Dates')

-Thomas Gray, Jack Garland, Cane Marshall, Victor Moore (Rest of the gang members)

-Donald Littlewood, Wendy Dutton, Elizabeth Popplewell, Rosie Thornton (side characters / James' 'family')

#art #my art #my ocs #ocs #oc art #original character #character art #drawing #sketching #digital art #digital sketch

[zpl1nt3r3d-b0n3-zhardz]

hello hello! we've been following your blog for a looooong time now and are back for ✨more names✨ that said! we humbly request some names that just scream "red"? nouns preferred, we're punk rock over here /hj /nf

thank you!!!!!

Hope you enjoy !

Adam

Blaze

Flynn

Rowan

Phoenix

Auburn

Rose

Jasper

Cherry

Scarlett

Poppy

Ruby

Garnet

Crimson

rebel

blood

bloodie

bloodlette

bledor

red (duh)

Redcurrant

velvet

Crab

Begonia

Cardinal

acerola

brick

fire

firework

magma

mars

saffron

amaryllis

anthurium

brass

cayenne

lava

radish

paprika

Newt

clay

pomegranate

granate

spider lily

rust

sandstone

wine

Rhubarb

Sumac

rubicundus

rufus

rubrum

ignis

flamma

incaendium

inflammo

plamya

Aero

alyx

andrix

ant

artery

axel

beedle

benrot

bergamot

calsifer

canis

carnis

carnivore

konrad

corveum

cyx

davros

deimos

diavolo

Duncan

Engel

fenris

fenrir

fox

gadora

Garrett

gizmo

heinous

Holt

horror

husk

icarus

inferno

inzra

ives

julian

jules

junos

kaizer

kenji

Kerrigan

Keegan

khaos

Lucian

Lucio

lucifer

lucid

maverick

maddox

ashton

malak

mania

Maroon

Marshall

moxie

moxel

nox

nyx

paint

paradox

Parker

pasha

patch

razor

raze

Reid

remor

riot

Rion

rottyn

ronnie

Sabastion

salami......

salmon

salsa

sanity

satyr

savion

Sawyer

scabz

scotch

seros

shadow

sorrow

spit

spitfire

spyder

tecula

theseus

uriel

Valdemar

valera

vampir

vesper

vriska

wyatt

zagen

zayden

Some noun and just some that scream red to us ! - 💜/🎸

#<3 #name ideas #name help #name suggestions #aesthetic names #character name inspiration #character names #name blog #name list #names #girl names #baby names #andro names #boy names #androgynous names #beautiful names #character name ideas #character name #enby names #feminine names #gender neutral names #genderfluid names #male name #masc name help #masc names #masculine names #list of names #name change #name hoard #name hoarder

[pcwpolwrestling]

PCW Rewind: Extreme Election Night 2012

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Tuesday November 6th, 2012 Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Loud crowd chant of ‘PCW…PCW…PCW.’   Suave and Shania are in the ring.

Suave- HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W EX-TREEEEEME ELECTION NIGHT 2012!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- I am Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW.  This smoking hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain.  Tonight, Barack Obama (D-IL) find out if he will have a second four term as PCW CEO.  Opposing him, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Suave runs down the card one last time:

Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D) Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D) Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D) Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D) Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D) Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match: Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Suave- Last night on PCW Extreme Political TV, this went down…

“No Frills’ Chris Escondido Addresses the Independents Escondido says that both the Republicans and Democrats have disrespected independents for years even though they are the ones the power- the ones who swing elections.  He notes that there’s a disagreement between the Dawn McGill-William Daniels Bryan factions and tonight is going to settle all issues.  Tomorrow night is PCW Extreme Election Night and Independents will be there in force.

Bryan vs. McGill for the Heartland Title Bryan again used his wrestling skills to get McGill grounded yet again.  McGill kicked at him but Bryan first locked in a figure four and then the LaBell Lock.  This time McGill found herself in the middle of the ring and out of arm’s reach of the ropes.  This time, McGill had no choice but to tap out.

WINNER AND NEW HEARTLAND TITLE CHAMPION: William Daniels Bryan @ 8:15

McGill handed the belt to Bryan and then raised his arm in the air.  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido then joined them along with the rest of the PCW Independents.

Suave- So the Platte Populist William Daniels Bryan is the new Heartland Champion and it appears “No Frills” Chris Escondido is the de facto leader of the Independents.  Will the Independents swing the results here tonight?

Voice- NO!

Out runs Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver holding a huge binder of paper.

Nate Silver- This is proof that Barack Obama will be re-elected PCW CEO!  The Independents don’t mean anything.  This does.  It’s all about science and numbers- something the Republicans don’t understand.  Mark my words.  When tonight’s show is done- Barack Obama will be the next PCW CEO.

Then David Axelrod (D) saunters out.

David Axelrod- I’ll go one step further.  If Obama loses tonight, I’ll shave my mustache off.

Suave- There you have it.  Axelrod has put his mustache up as a guarantee that Barack Obama will win tonight.

Suave- Let’s head to the ring for our first match of the night.

Match 1: Jeff Flake (R-AZ) vs. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) Arizonians Flake and Carmona are both first time participants in PCW and vying for retiring Jon Kyl‘s (R-AZ) spot on the PCW Competition Committee.

The big issue over the upcoming match?  Carmona tried to imply that ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain (R-AZ) and Kyl endorsed him instead of Flake.

Suffice to say, neither McCain nor Kyl were amused and set out to make clear that they were and will be in Flake’s corner.

Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall

Marshall does the introductions and indeed, both the Straight Shooter John McCain and Jon Kyl are in Flake’s corner.  The bell rings and the match is underway.

Flake and Carmona hook up in the middle of the ring.  Flake  shoves Carmona down and sets up for an Elbow Drop… BOOM.. Then another Elbow Drop… BOOM.  Carmona comes back with a back breaker on Flake and then tries an early elbow submission.  Flake escapes and gets dropped by a slingshot elbow. Carmona applies the camel clutch but Flake escapes to the floor.  Flake catches Carmona climbing out of the ring with a low blow.  Carmona goes down.  Flake grabs Carmona’s shoulders, turns him around, and boots him in the ass.  Flake follows with an open hand chop.

Flake rolls Carmona back into the ring and continues to work him over, but Carmona regains control by whipping Flake into the corner.  Carmona retrieves Flake and applies an overhead wrist lock but Flake muscles Carmona to the corner to break the hold.  Carmona heads up top.  Flake tries to knock him off the turnbuckle, but Carmona takes the arm and slaps on the cross arm breaker while hanging over the top rope.

Carmona releases the hold and slides back into the ring.  He whips Flake to the corner and charges in.  Flake floats over into a roll-up pin and gets a two count. Both men get back to their feet, but Carmona regains control and repeatedly punches Flake’s arm.  Carmona tries for another over-the-top-rope cross arm breaker but Flake blocks.   Carmona goes for a back breaker / neck breaker combo, but Flake counters with a drop kick.  Flake tries another drop kick but Carmona catches Flake’s leg and drops to his knees to hyperextend the knee. Carmona wrenches the injured leg around the second rope. Flake tries to get away, but Carmona grabs the injured leg and pulls him down to the mat. Carmona locks in a single leg Boston crab on the injured leg right in the middle of the ring.

Flake tries to crawl toward the ropes, but Carmona pulls him back to the middle of the ring.   Out of nowhere, Jon Kyl jumps into the ring and kicks Carmona.   Then John McCain comes in and…LOW BLOWS CARMONA!  Carmona drops to his knees.  Flake hits a basement dropkick and covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Suave- John McCain and Jon Kyl come through for Jeff Flake and he wins here at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012!

Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.

Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO.  Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years?  Or will he choose Mitt Romney?  Stay tuned.  Let’s go back to the ring.

Match #2 Linda McMahon (R-CT) vs. Chris Murphy (D-CT) Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestler Paul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.

Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.

In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy.  Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon?  Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?

Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside.  Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins.  Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back.  McMahon knifehand chops Murphy.  Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block.   Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.

Suave- Are here we go.  I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.

Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon.  Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out.  Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission.  Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off.   Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off.  Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.

Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.

McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face.  McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy.  McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy.  McMahon bites Murphy’s arm.  Vince throws a chair in the ring.  McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop toe hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up.  McMahon with an armdrag.  Murphy powers up and then they lockup.  Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring.  Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.

McMahon jabs Murphy.  Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save.  Vince with the chair.  *WHAP*  Murphy’s down.  Linda’s not in a position to make the cover.  And the referee stops the match.

Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING?  HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!

The crowd roars and Vince is livid.  Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it.  Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.

Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon.  He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)

Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!

Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee.  PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.

Suave-More Extreme Election Night after this.

PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein

…interviews world famous swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

Chrissy Teigen

Teigen tells Bernstein that she’s glad to be at PCW Extreme Election Night to lend her support to Barack Obama.

This causes some of the more rabid Republicans in the crowd to start booing.  Teigen smiles through it and continues the interview with Bernstein.

The nastiness continues and finally, Kathryn Randall Collins (D), Code Pink (D), and Emily S List (D) come out.

Code Pink- This is proof that the Republicans are waging a war against women!

The Democrats cheer while the Republicans boo.

Then actress Melissa Joan Hart walks out.

Melissa Joan Hart

She tells the crowd that she supports Mitt Romney and that sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

Now it’s the Republicans who cheer while the Democrats are silent.  Code Pink and List look at each other.  Then they attack Hart.

Suave- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) runs in and runs off both Code Pink and Emily S List.

Match #3 PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

The phenomenon known as Jill Berg comes into PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 as a successful businesswoman and one woman force of political destruction.  She faces young C.J. Lewis.  Lewis, a former waitress at Hooter’s,  charged up to the top of the Democratic ranks by defeating long time standard bearer Kathryn Randall Collins to gain a shot at the PCW Women’s title against Berg.

Democrats want this match badly to continue their ‘Republican‘s War Against Women’ mantra.  Can Lewis overcome her lack of experience and pull off an upset win over Berg?

Lewis in the ring, ready to go.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND!  IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry.

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder.  He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg hits the ring, warmed up and ready to go after the earlier altercation.

The bell rings and Berg wastes no time going on the attack. Reverse neckbreaker to Lewis followed by a rolling elbow smash.   Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash and the women’s champion is on fire.  At ringside, Code Pink and Emily S List watch as Berg spinkicks Lewis.   C.J. pokes Berg in the eyes to relieve the pressure.  C.J. with a neck scissors but Berg mule kicks her and sends her sprawling.  Berg rolls onto Lewis connecting with a knee.  Code Pink and List interfere and hit a doubleteam gutbuster on the women’s champion. C.J. Lewis gets back to her feet and stares down Code Pink and List.  Berg pops back up and throws her into the turnbuckle.  Berg follows up and smashes Lewis’s head into the corner turnbuckle.

Double axhandle chop from Berg.  Running neckbreaker drop takes C.J. down hard.  Berg locks Lewis in the kneebar but she escapes.  Berg then tosses Lewis out of the ring.  Berg rams Lewis into the corner turnbuckle and the challenger gets a cut as a result.   Berg goes for a belly-to-back superplex but Lewis slips out.  Berg instead hits the jumping sidekick on Lewis.

Suave- So far, Jill Berg’s experience is way too much for the youngster C.J. Lewis.

Back in the ring, Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash.  Berg moves in for the kill but Lewis bites her arm out of desparation.  C.J. whips Berg off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Lewis with a headbutt and then a short lariat takes the women’s champion down.

Berg spins and hits Lewis with a back fist.  C.J. whipped hard off the ropes into a clothesline.  Diving elbow smash follows.  Berg grabs C.J.’s head and slams her face into the turnbuckle.  She goes to do it again but this time, Lewis blocks and then drives Berg’s head into the turnbuckle.  Belly-to-belly superplex by Lewis.

Suave- Now the challenger coming back!

Bridging back suplex by Lewis.  She covers…1…2…shoulder up.  Lewis chants start.  Lewis with the body slam.  Cover…1…2…shoulder up again.   Berg rakes her fingers across C.J.’s back. Code Pink and Emily S List again attack.  Doubleteam backbreak to the champion.  Code Pink is going for the Glitter Bomb but wait?

Melissa Joan Hart in the ring with a steel chair.  *WHAP* Down goes Code Pink.  *WHAP*  Down goes List.  Lewis distracted.  Berg back up and chops Lewis.  Berg takes a step back…SPEAR!  She takes a step back…SPINNING HEEL KICK!  Berg lifts Lewis over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM!  Cover.  Referee counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg ®

Suave- UNBELIEVABLE!  CODE PINK AND EMILY S LIST ARE GOING TO BE PISSED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’VE COST C.J. LEWIS THE MATCH!  HELL, LEWIS IS GOING TO BE PISSED!

Lewis stands up and glares at both Code Pink and List after the match.

MATCH #4  Denny Rehberg (R-MT) vs. Jon Tester (D-MT)

Rehberg and Tester will meet in what has been a hotly competitive run up to their Extreme Election Night match.

Tester is the incumbent member of the PCW Executive Committee while Rehberg currently holds a spot on PCW’s Competition Committee.  This is expected to be a knock down, drag out affair with both men seemingly equally matched.

The difference maker in the match could be a third man- Libertarian Dan Cox.  Will Cox be a spoiler and help Tester pull out the win?

Tester starts by bouncing Reiberg off the ropes and clotheslining him. Tester puts Reiberg in an arm grapevine submission but Reiberg pokes Tester in the eyes to escape. Reiberg gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Tester comes over and rams Reiberg’s head into the corner turnbuckle.  Tester goes for a DDT.  But Reiberg stands up and hits Tester with the belly-to-belly suplex.  Reiberg measures Tester up and drops a closed fist.  Then Reiberg whips him out of the ring.

Tester climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Reiberg kicks him back down to the arena floor. Reiberg follows Tester to the outside.  Tester whips Reiberg into the ring steps.  Reiberg gets back to his feet, but Tester attacks again and rolls Reiberg back into the ring.

Dan Cox (L) now walking to the ring.

Tester locks in a rear chin lock in the middle of the ring.   Boot the face by Tester and a cover for a two count.  Tester works over Reiberg.  Cox comes out and tries to stun gun Reiberg.  Reiberg reverse and slings Cox out of the ring.  Tester bails out too and REIBERG DIVES OUT ON BOTH OF THEM!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Cox tries to run Reiberg into the post.   Reiberg reverses.  He whips Cox into the ring post.  Cox stops in his tracks but Reiberg dropkicks him from behind, sending him hard into the steel!

Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!

Back in the ring, Tester hits a few suplexes.  Reiberg spins out of a tilt a whirl attempt by Tester and dropkicks him. Tester with a lariat and goes to Irish whip him into the ropes but Reiberg headbutts him and gets free.  He goes for the splash off the top but Tester moves to safety.  Reiberg surprises Tester with a low blow and rolls-up Tester- he kicks out.  Tester pops up ready to go but Reiberg hits him with the DDT! TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cox comes in to go after Reiberg but HITS TESTER BY ACCIDENT! REIBERG PINS BUT TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Reiberg brawls with Cox to the outside.  By the time he returns to the ring, Tester’s had way too much time to recover.  Tester in control and throws Reiberg into the railing.  Tester suplexes the actual railing back onto Reiberg.

Crowd- HOLY ****!  HOLY ****!

Tester drags Reiberg back to the ring.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jon Tester (D)

Republican War Room Republican Leader Reince Priebus anxiously paces back and forth while his pollsters crunch the numbers.

Both Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) burst into the room.

McConnell- Jesus, we’re getting killed out there, Reince!  I thought this was in the bag.

Preibus- That’s what I was told.

Boehner- Now I’m hearing rumors that PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is seriously favoring returning Barack Obama for another four year term as PCW CEO.

Preibus- We’re working on it.

The pollsters hits the phones and try to find out just what the hell is going on.

Suave- So far, the Democrats have the upper hand and this next match is crucial.  Let’s go to the ring.

Match 5: Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006, Sherrod Brown (D-OH) was the outsider taking on entrenched Mike DeWine (R-OH) for a berth on the PCW Executive Committee.

Now the tables have turned and Brown is the insider trying to fight off the challenge of young Josh Mandel (R-OH) and keep his seat.  Can Brown’s experience and guile overcome Mandel’s youthfulness?   The run up has been harsh and contentious and the match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 promises to be the same.

Kimber Marshall makes the introductions.  Former PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) join Sherrod Brown at ringside and they taunt the young Mandel before the bell rings.

Brown immediately on the offense and places Mandel on the turnbuckle.  Front-layout superplex.  Mandel tries a spinning leg lariat on Brown who ducks it.  Brown hits Mandel with the double arm DDT into the mat and then connects with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brown climbs to his feet and covers Mandel hooking the leg …1 …2 Mandel kicks out.  Brown grabs Mandel and applies an arm wrench.  Brown covers Mandel. …1 …2 Mandel kicks out again.  Brown hits the German Suplex on Mandel. He knees Mandel and rolls him out of the ring into the waiting arms of Big Union.

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker work Mandel over.  Brown joins in and elbows the midsection. Big Labor lifts Mandel up…powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Big Labor rolls Mandel back into the ring.  Brown makes the academic cover…1..2…3.

WINNER: Sherrod Brown (D)

Nate Silver runs out and shouts that “he was right,” “he was right.”  Suave reminds everyone that we won’t know until later on who will be the PCW CEO.

Suave- The Democrats pick up another one as Brown’s experience rules the day.

‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor gets on the mic after the match.

Big Labor- Scott Walker’s Rangers!  Did you see what happened here?  This is going to happen to you!

BACKSTAGE Vince McMahon tries to get to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office but security blocks his way.

McMahon- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  I’M VINCE ******* McMAHON!  I’VE MADE MORE MONEY OFF PRO WRESTLING IN ONE HOUR THEN THIS PIECE OF **** POLITICAL FEDERATION WILL EVER MAKE IN IT’S LIFETIME.   THERE’S-

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall.  He grabs McMahon by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

MATCH #6 Claire McCaskill (D-MO) vs. Todd Akin (R-MO)

In Missouri, Claire McCaskill (D-MO) is defending her spot on the PCW Executive against challenger Todd Akin (R-MO).

Early on, the conventional wisdom was that McCaskill was vulnerable.  However, once Akin opened up a big can of controversy over his ‘legitimate rape’ remarks, McCaskill has climbed back into the contest.  Can McCaskill close the deal or will Akin somehow manage to overcome his own missteps to win a spot on the Executive Committee.

McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Claire McCaskill (D)

Once again, Nate Silver runs out and shouts “I told ya!  I told ya!”

Backstage Claire McCaskill high fives an aide as she makes her to the back.  She’s confronted by Richard Mourdock (R-IN).

Mourdock- I can’t believe you did that to him.

Replay: McCaskill vs. Akin McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

Mourdock- That was totally not called for.  Totally not- OOOF.

McCaskill splits the uprights with a well placed kick and drops Mourdock.

Republican Locker Room “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, as always, pointing to his temple to make sure everyone realizes he’s a f****** genius,  is doing his best to keep a semblance of order.

Suave- Yeah, good luck with that.

Democratic Locker Room Talking with Stephanie Cutter, David Axelrod isn’t nearly as concerned about the welfare of his mustache as he was earlier in the night.

Axelrod- It’s time to unleash the GOTV.

Suave- We’re ready for our next match and it should be a good one.

Match #7 Tim Kaine (D-VA) vs. George Allen (R-VA) George Allen (R-VA) lost a tough match six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006 to James Webb (D-VA).

Tonight, Allen looks to return to the PCW Executive Committee as he takes on former Democratic Leader Tim Kaine (D-VA). This will be another bellwether match to gauge whether the Republicans will regain control of the Executive Committee and there’s a lot riding on the result.

Suave- I’m not sure if it’s as much of a bellwether now.  It’s clear the Democrats are going to hold the PCW Executive Committee and the Republicans the Competition Committee.

Following Kimber Marshall’s introductions, the bell rings.  Kaine comes out on fire and nails Allen repeatedly with right hands.  Allen whipped into the corner.  Kaine places Allen on the turnbuckle- front-layout suplex.  Kaine gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Allen.  Kaine sweeps Allen’s leg and rolls onto him with a knee.  Allen gets right up and nails Kaine with an inverted DDT. He sends Kaine to ringside and follows.  Allen throws a chair at Kaine.  High crossbody by Allen.  Kaine punched in the gut but Kaine comes back with a rake to the eyes and heads back to the ring.  Allen follows but gets pulled back to the floor by the Democrats GOTV (Grapple to Total Victory)- consisting of Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy.

Hey, it was the best we could come up with.

Bain lifts Allen and hits a running powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Bain and O’Kennedy roll Allen back into the ring.  Belly to belly by Kaine.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Tim Kaine (D)

Nate Silver again runs out to proclaim that “he was right.”

Republican Locker Room ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove can’t believe it.   Republican Leader Reince Preibus can’t believe it.  He again turns to the pollsters.

Preibus – What’s going on here?

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly walks in.

O’Reilly- I’ll tell you what’s going on.  You’re getting your ass kicked.

Preibus- Where are the Independents?

BACKSTAGE Speaking of PCW’s Independent/Unaffiliated contingent, they enter through a back door into Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon led by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan.

An aide comes up to Escondido and tells him that Barack Obama wants to talk with him.  Escondido nods and leaves with the aide while Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Ken Worth- The American Trucker wait.

Suave- Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!”

The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson- Y’all know this one.  This is our ode to Keith Olbermann.  It’s called ‘Keith.’ Jackson (sings): Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down “But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus)

“Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson- All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

"Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile And Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.

Match #8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vs. Scott Brown (R-MA) Two years ago, Brown (R-MA) upset Martha Coakley (D-MA) for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. This year, he finds himself in a battle royale with challenger Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

Warren, who has Democratic political wrestling stalwarts Code Pink and Emily S List in her corner, is pushing hard to return the Massachusett’s seat back to the Democrats.

Can Brown hold off Warren’s challenge?  Will Warren pick off a seat the Republicans need to take back control of the PCW Executive Committee?   We’ll find out in just four days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Warren trips up Brown and then hits a corkscrew legdrop.  Brown climbs to his feet and kicks Warren in the groin.  She drops like a shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID?

Warren jumps back up and kicks Brown in the groin just as the Democratic GOTV hits the ring again.  Bain bounces Brown off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat.  Paddy O’Kennedy gives Brown a reverse neckbreaker.  Bain nails Brown with a huge slingshot sommersault splash.

Suave- The Democrat’s GOTV is kicking ass.  Where’s the Republican answer?

Republican Locker Room Reince Preibus is talking with a rather large gentleman…as in really large.

Preibus- ORCA.  I need you to get in there and take out the GOTV.

ORCA nods and lumbers out the door.

Back ringside,  Brown brawls outside with O’Kennedy but not for long.  Bain sets up a pair of chairs in the ring and powerbombs Brown on them. Warren brings a table into play.  Belly to belly from Bain sends Brown through the table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus is furious.

Preibus- Where the **** is ORCA?

Cut to…

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus- SON OF A BITCH!

Back in the ring, Bain rolls what’s left of Brown in and Warren makes the academic cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) join Warren and the GOTV in the ring to celebrate.

And yes, Nate Silver again runs out and…yeah.

At ringside, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is just giddy as the Democrats not only hold the PCW Executive Committee but Barack Obama appear to be on the verge of a second term as PCW CEO.

Matthews- Thank God that hurricane came along!

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Matthews- NO!  I didn’t mean it like that!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to ringside.   Matthews tries to run for it but WTF grabs him by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

BACKSTAGE

PCW’s Towel Boy returns from cleaning the ring ropes and jokes that the Republicans are as dead as the Los Angeles Lakers.

Suddenly, Kobe Bryant walks in and…

Kobe Death Stare

Suave- DON’T LOOK!  DON’T LOOK!

Towel Boy drops dead quicker than the Lakers pulled the plug on Mike Brown this season.

Suave- HE LOOKED!

Meanwhile…

THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (D), pointing to his temple to remind everyone just how much of a f****** genius he is, continues to try to reassure the Republicans that everything’s okay…

…and it’s not working.

MATCH #9 PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker ® © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Ever since Scott Walker’s Rangers won the PCW Tag Team belts at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view, Big Union and the Democrats have been gunning for a return match.  Tonight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the two combustible forces will smash into each other with only one team leaving the ring as the PCW Tag Team champions.

Kimber Marshall – Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team Title.  On the way to the ring at this time, ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker!!!

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, accompanied by the Democrats’ GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, come to the ring.

Kimber Marshall – and their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Scott Walker (R-WI), they are the PCW Tag Team Champions- the team of Ronnie Walker and John Walker, Scott Walker’s Rangers!

Ronnie Walker and John Walker walk to the ring with Scott Walker.

Suave- This is it…Big Union has been waiting for this match and tonight they get their shot at regaining the PCW Tag Team Title.

PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) join Scott Walker ringside as the bell sounds.

Ronnie Walker charges across the ring and nails Big Labor with a charging axhandle bodyblock.  Ronnie springs off the ropes but this time Big Labor clotheslines him.  Ronnie Walker tries to come back with a jawbreakeron but Big Labor pushes him off.  Big Labor tackles Ronnie Walker and punches him repeatedly.

Suave – Big Labor trying to use his power and strength against Ronnie Walker.

Ronnie tries a waistlock suplex but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  Big Labor throws him out to the floor.  Big Labor follows and tells Ronnie he wants to wrestle.  Then he promptly nails Ronnie with a folding chair.  Big Labor with a backdrops and Paddy O’Kennedy of the Democratic GOTV follows with a pescado.  Big Labor decides to get mean and dumps Ronnie Walker on the rail. Big Labor throws him over the rail into the crowd. The fight heads out into the fans for a brawl.  Big Labor takes it up a notch by powerbombing Ronnie Walker on the floor.

Suave- Well, he’s dead. It’s over.

The crowd calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew.

Nurse Nellie

Big Labor calls for the bell saying it’s over.  But somehow Boehner and McConnell roll Ronnie back in.

Big Labor chases Boehner and McConnell from the ring and turns and shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker.  Ronnie Walker then whipped into the corner.  He stumbled back out and right into a gut-wrench powerbomb.  Ronnie tries to crawl to his corner but James the Jeep Worker slips in and pulls him across the ring.  Big Labor goes to the top and drops the Elbow on Ronnie Walker.  Cover…1…2…John Walker in for the save.

Suave- JOHN WALKER JUST MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW HE’S BRAWLING WITH JAMES THE JEEP WORKER.

John and James roll out of the ring and spill onto the floor.  Ronnie Walker tries for a crotch slam but can’t lift Big Labor.   Samoan Drop by Big Labor and Ronnie Walker is down. John Walker back in.  Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Ronnie Walker blasts Big Labor from behind with a chairshot and pummels his head.  Ronnie Walker drops a closed fist.  Now James the Jeep Worker in and he tackles Ronnie Walker.  Big Labor sends Ronnie Walker into the turnbuckle.  In comes Bain and he splashes Ronnie Walker.  Now, O’Kennedy back in.  Spinning neck-breaker sends Ronnie to the mat.

Suave- No doubt about it.  The Democrats’ GOTV is kicking serious ass here tonight.  What happened to the Independents?

In a back hallway Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the rest of the Independents were sprawled over the floor with the Chicago Boss Squad and the Department of Justice  standing over them.

Suave- Oh…

Big Labor pulls Ronnie Walker up.  James the Jeep Worker in- swinging bulldog on drives Ronnie’s face to the mat.  John Walker again in the ring but he gets intercepted by O’Kennedy.  Ronnie Walker tries for a inverted backbreaker but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  But Big Labor can…Powerslam! Powerslam! Powerslam! Big Labor flings sweat at Ronnie and hits a fourth powerslam.

Mitch McConnell is audibly heard shouting into a cell phone, “Where the **** is ORCA?”

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s STILL patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

RINGSIDE McConnell- SON OF A BITCH!

Big Labor with a spine buster to Ronnie Walker.  He lifts Ronnie Walker and drops him with a ScabBuster.  Cover…1   John Walker in for one last try but  gets Picket Lined by James the Jeep Worker.  …2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Reid, Pelosi, and the GOTV mob Big Union in the ring after the referee gave them the PCW Tag Team belts.

Suave- Two time PCW Tag Team Champions- Big Union regains the belts here at PCW Extreme Election Night.

BACKSTAGE ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, slightly disheveled now, insists to anyone who’ll listen that it’s still not over.

Rove- There’s something not right about this-

CUE: Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT…AGAIN!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs Rove by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

As yet again, the PCW clean up crew comes down to clean the mess left behind, Suave again reviews the results up to date:

Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.

Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.

Match 3- Jill Berg ® retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.

Match 4- Jon Tester (D-MT) def. Denny Rehberg (R-MT)

Match 5- Sherrod Brown (D-OH) def. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Match 6- Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Todd Akin (R-MO)

Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)

Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (R-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)

Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet.  Security continues to stand guard outside the door.

HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.

Back to the ring.

Suave- And now, it all comes down to this.  The PCW Title match.  Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT- PCW Title Match: Triple R (D)© vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match.  After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R  finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks ® as his first major challenge as PCW Champion.  In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.

Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.

Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!

Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).

Banks warily climbs into the ring.

Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior.  He is Road Rage Randy.  But you can call him the P-C-W Champion!  Triple R!

Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.

Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks.  Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger.  The bell rings and it’s on.

Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet.  Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him.  Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out.  Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle.  Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap.  Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat.  Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside.  Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face.  Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.

Suave- And they’re outside.  Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.

Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail.   O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail.  Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it.  Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…

Candy Crowley of CNN

Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?

While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg.   O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Banks is bleeding all over the place.  O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure.  Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it.  Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots.  Triple R with the DDT.  The GOTV set up a table.  Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  He just took Triple R’s head off.

But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks.  New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table.  O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break.  Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring.  Triple R covers but only gets two.  Big Labor  immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO!  ORCA?  ORCA MADE THE SAVE?

Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.

It’s shortlived.  Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring.  Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it.  Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out.  Triple R stomps Banks.  Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again.  Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies.  He rains down right hands on the champion.  Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee.  That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.

Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match.  Triple R with a forearm. And another.  Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb!  Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.

Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL!  HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!

Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”

Triple R in the ring with the bell.  Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?

Martha Raddatz

Suave- What is SHE doing down here?

Triple R blasts Banks with the bell.  Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring.  The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)

The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic.  The Republicans?  Stunned.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE

The door opens and out walks PCW Owner Bubba Jackson.

Suave- IT’S TIME!  BUBBA JACKSON IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!

Crowd- PCW…PCW…PCW!

Obama, Triple R, and the Democrats celebrate in the ring.

Suave- AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT IF BARACK OBAMA GETS FOUR MORE YEARS AT THE HELM OF PCW OR WHETHER MITT ROMNEY WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

Silver takes the microphone from Suave.

Silver- I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL.  THESE SPREADSHEETS PROVE THAT OBAMA WILL BE NAMED THE PCW CEO AGAIN.  I TOLD YOU…I TOLD YOU ALL…I TOLD-

CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!  HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring.  He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- Thank you.  And now, it’s time…

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.

Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years.  The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.

David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.

Jackson- No.  George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years.   This was a tough call but I have come to a decision.  The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now.  Mitt Romney.  You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past?  Cut taxes?  These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.

Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.

Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess.  You need to fix it.   It’s Obama.

The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO.   Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Rubio exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.

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