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PCW Rewind: Extreme Election Night 2012

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Tuesday November 6th, 2012 Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Loud crowd chant of ‘PCW…PCW…PCW.’ Suave and Shania are in the ring.

Suave- HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W EX-TREEEEEME ELECTION NIGHT 2012!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- I am Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW. This smoking hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain. Tonight, Barack Obama (D-IL) find out if he will have a second four term as PCW CEO. Opposing him, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Suave runs down the card one last time:

Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D) Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D) Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D) Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D) Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D) Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match: Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Suave- Last night on PCW Extreme Political TV, this went down…

“No Frills’ Chris Escondido Addresses the Independents Escondido says that both the Republicans and Democrats have disrespected independents for years even though they are the ones the power- the ones who swing elections. He notes that there’s a disagreement between the Dawn McGill-William Daniels Bryan factions and tonight is going to settle all issues. Tomorrow night is PCW Extreme Election Night and Independents will be there in force.

Bryan vs. McGill for the Heartland Title Bryan again used his wrestling skills to get McGill grounded yet again. McGill kicked at him but Bryan first locked in a figure four and then the LaBell Lock. This time McGill found herself in the middle of the ring and out of arm’s reach of the ropes. This time, McGill had no choice but to tap out.

WINNER AND NEW HEARTLAND TITLE CHAMPION: William Daniels Bryan @ 8:15

McGill handed the belt to Bryan and then raised his arm in the air. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido then joined them along with the rest of the PCW Independents.

Suave- So the Platte Populist William Daniels Bryan is the new Heartland Champion and it appears “No Frills” Chris Escondido is the de facto leader of the Independents. Will the Independents swing the results here tonight?

Voice- NO!

Out runs Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver holding a huge binder of paper.

Nate Silver- This is proof that Barack Obama will be re-elected PCW CEO! The Independents don’t mean anything. This does. It’s all about science and numbers- something the Republicans don’t understand. Mark my words. When tonight’s show is done- Barack Obama will be the next PCW CEO.

Then David Axelrod (D) saunters out.

David Axelrod- I’ll go one step further. If Obama loses tonight, I’ll shave my mustache off.

Suave- There you have it. Axelrod has put his mustache up as a guarantee that Barack Obama will win tonight.

Suave- Let’s head to the ring for our first match of the night.

Match 1: Jeff Flake (R-AZ) vs. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) Arizonians Flake and Carmona are both first time participants in PCW and vying for retiring Jon Kyl‘s (R-AZ) spot on the PCW Competition Committee.

The big issue over the upcoming match? Carmona tried to imply that ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain (R-AZ) and Kyl endorsed him instead of Flake.

Suffice to say, neither McCain nor Kyl were amused and set out to make clear that they were and will be in Flake’s corner.

Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall

Marshall does the introductions and indeed, both the Straight Shooter John McCain and Jon Kyl are in Flake’s corner. The bell rings and the match is underway.

Flake and Carmona hook up in the middle of the ring. Flake shoves Carmona down and sets up for an Elbow Drop… BOOM.. Then another Elbow Drop… BOOM. Carmona comes back with a back breaker on Flake and then tries an early elbow submission. Flake escapes and gets dropped by a slingshot elbow. Carmona applies the camel clutch but Flake escapes to the floor. Flake catches Carmona climbing out of the ring with a low blow. Carmona goes down. Flake grabs Carmona’s shoulders, turns him around, and boots him in the ass. Flake follows with an open hand chop.

Flake rolls Carmona back into the ring and continues to work him over, but Carmona regains control by whipping Flake into the corner. Carmona retrieves Flake and applies an overhead wrist lock but Flake muscles Carmona to the corner to break the hold. Carmona heads up top. Flake tries to knock him off the turnbuckle, but Carmona takes the arm and slaps on the cross arm breaker while hanging over the top rope.

Carmona releases the hold and slides back into the ring. He whips Flake to the corner and charges in. Flake floats over into a roll-up pin and gets a two count. Both men get back to their feet, but Carmona regains control and repeatedly punches Flake’s arm. Carmona tries for another over-the-top-rope cross arm breaker but Flake blocks. Carmona goes for a back breaker / neck breaker combo, but Flake counters with a drop kick. Flake tries another drop kick but Carmona catches Flake’s leg and drops to his knees to hyperextend the knee. Carmona wrenches the injured leg around the second rope. Flake tries to get away, but Carmona grabs the injured leg and pulls him down to the mat. Carmona locks in a single leg Boston crab on the injured leg right in the middle of the ring.

Flake tries to crawl toward the ropes, but Carmona pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Out of nowhere, Jon Kyl jumps into the ring and kicks Carmona. Then John McCain comes in and…LOW BLOWS CARMONA! Carmona drops to his knees. Flake hits a basement dropkick and covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Suave- John McCain and Jon Kyl come through for Jeff Flake and he wins here at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012!

Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.

Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO. Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years? Or will he choose Mitt Romney? Stay tuned. Let’s go back to the ring.

Match #2 Linda McMahon (R-CT) vs. Chris Murphy (D-CT) Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestler Paul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.

Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.

In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy. Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon? Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?

Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside. Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins. Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back. McMahon knifehand chops Murphy. Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.

Suave- Are here we go. I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.

Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon. Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out. Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission. Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off. Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off. Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.

Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.

McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face. McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy. McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy. McMahon bites Murphy’s arm. Vince throws a chair in the ring. McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop toe hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up. McMahon with an armdrag. Murphy powers up and then they lockup. Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring. Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.

McMahon jabs Murphy. Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save. Vince with the chair. *WHAP* Murphy’s down. Linda’s not in a position to make the cover. And the referee stops the match.

Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING? HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!

The crowd roars and Vince is livid. Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it. Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.

Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon. He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat. Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)

Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!

Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee. PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.

Suave-More Extreme Election Night after this.

PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein

…interviews world famous swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

Chrissy Teigen

Teigen tells Bernstein that she’s glad to be at PCW Extreme Election Night to lend her support to Barack Obama.

This causes some of the more rabid Republicans in the crowd to start booing. Teigen smiles through it and continues the interview with Bernstein.

The nastiness continues and finally, Kathryn Randall Collins (D), Code Pink (D), and Emily S List (D) come out.

Code Pink- This is proof that the Republicans are waging a war against women!

The Democrats cheer while the Republicans boo.

Then actress Melissa Joan Hart walks out.

Melissa Joan Hart

She tells the crowd that she supports Mitt Romney and that sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

Now it’s the Republicans who cheer while the Democrats are silent. Code Pink and List look at each other. Then they attack Hart.

Suave- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) runs in and runs off both Code Pink and Emily S List.

Match #3 PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

The phenomenon known as Jill Berg comes into PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 as a successful businesswoman and one woman force of political destruction. She faces young C.J. Lewis. Lewis, a former waitress at Hooter’s, charged up to the top of the Democratic ranks by defeating long time standard bearer Kathryn Randall Collins to gain a shot at the PCW Women’s title against Berg.

Democrats want this match badly to continue their ‘Republican‘s War Against Women’ mantra. Can Lewis overcome her lack of experience and pull off an upset win over Berg?

Lewis in the ring, ready to go.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND! IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry.

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg hits the ring, warmed up and ready to go after the earlier altercation.

The bell rings and Berg wastes no time going on the attack. Reverse neckbreaker to Lewis followed by a rolling elbow smash. Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash and the women’s champion is on fire. At ringside, Code Pink and Emily S List watch as Berg spinkicks Lewis. C.J. pokes Berg in the eyes to relieve the pressure. C.J. with a neck scissors but Berg mule kicks her and sends her sprawling. Berg rolls onto Lewis connecting with a knee. Code Pink and List interfere and hit a doubleteam gutbuster on the women’s champion. C.J. Lewis gets back to her feet and stares down Code Pink and List. Berg pops back up and throws her into the turnbuckle. Berg follows up and smashes Lewis’s head into the corner turnbuckle.

Double axhandle chop from Berg. Running neckbreaker drop takes C.J. down hard. Berg locks Lewis in the kneebar but she escapes. Berg then tosses Lewis out of the ring. Berg rams Lewis into the corner turnbuckle and the challenger gets a cut as a result. Berg goes for a belly-to-back superplex but Lewis slips out. Berg instead hits the jumping sidekick on Lewis.

Suave- So far, Jill Berg’s experience is way too much for the youngster C.J. Lewis.

Back in the ring, Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash. Berg moves in for the kill but Lewis bites her arm out of desparation. C.J. whips Berg off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Lewis with a headbutt and then a short lariat takes the women’s champion down.

Berg spins and hits Lewis with a back fist. C.J. whipped hard off the ropes into a clothesline. Diving elbow smash follows. Berg grabs C.J.’s head and slams her face into the turnbuckle. She goes to do it again but this time, Lewis blocks and then drives Berg’s head into the turnbuckle. Belly-to-belly superplex by Lewis.

Suave- Now the challenger coming back!

Bridging back suplex by Lewis. She covers…1…2…shoulder up. Lewis chants start. Lewis with the body slam. Cover…1…2…shoulder up again. Berg rakes her fingers across C.J.’s back. Code Pink and Emily S List again attack. Doubleteam backbreak to the champion. Code Pink is going for the Glitter Bomb but wait?

Melissa Joan Hart in the ring with a steel chair. *WHAP* Down goes Code Pink. *WHAP* Down goes List. Lewis distracted. Berg back up and chops Lewis. Berg takes a step back…SPEAR! She takes a step back…SPINNING HEEL KICK! Berg lifts Lewis over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM! Cover. Referee counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg ®

Suave- UNBELIEVABLE! CODE PINK AND EMILY S LIST ARE GOING TO BE PISSED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’VE COST C.J. LEWIS THE MATCH! HELL, LEWIS IS GOING TO BE PISSED!

Lewis stands up and glares at both Code Pink and List after the match.

MATCH #4 Denny Rehberg (R-MT) vs. Jon Tester (D-MT)

Rehberg and Tester will meet in what has been a hotly competitive run up to their Extreme Election Night match.

Tester is the incumbent member of the PCW Executive Committee while Rehberg currently holds a spot on PCW’s Competition Committee. This is expected to be a knock down, drag out affair with both men seemingly equally matched.

The difference maker in the match could be a third man- Libertarian Dan Cox. Will Cox be a spoiler and help Tester pull out the win?

Tester starts by bouncing Reiberg off the ropes and clotheslining him. Tester puts Reiberg in an arm grapevine submission but Reiberg pokes Tester in the eyes to escape. Reiberg gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Tester comes over and rams Reiberg’s head into the corner turnbuckle. Tester goes for a DDT. But Reiberg stands up and hits Tester with the belly-to-belly suplex. Reiberg measures Tester up and drops a closed fist. Then Reiberg whips him out of the ring.

Tester climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Reiberg kicks him back down to the arena floor. Reiberg follows Tester to the outside. Tester whips Reiberg into the ring steps. Reiberg gets back to his feet, but Tester attacks again and rolls Reiberg back into the ring.

Dan Cox (L) now walking to the ring.

Tester locks in a rear chin lock in the middle of the ring. Boot the face by Tester and a cover for a two count. Tester works over Reiberg. Cox comes out and tries to stun gun Reiberg. Reiberg reverse and slings Cox out of the ring. Tester bails out too and REIBERG DIVES OUT ON BOTH OF THEM!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Cox tries to run Reiberg into the post. Reiberg reverses. He whips Cox into the ring post. Cox stops in his tracks but Reiberg dropkicks him from behind, sending him hard into the steel!

Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!

Back in the ring, Tester hits a few suplexes. Reiberg spins out of a tilt a whirl attempt by Tester and dropkicks him. Tester with a lariat and goes to Irish whip him into the ropes but Reiberg headbutts him and gets free. He goes for the splash off the top but Tester moves to safety. Reiberg surprises Tester with a low blow and rolls-up Tester- he kicks out. Tester pops up ready to go but Reiberg hits him with the DDT! TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cox comes in to go after Reiberg but HITS TESTER BY ACCIDENT! REIBERG PINS BUT TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Reiberg brawls with Cox to the outside. By the time he returns to the ring, Tester’s had way too much time to recover. Tester in control and throws Reiberg into the railing. Tester suplexes the actual railing back onto Reiberg.

Crowd- HOLY ****! HOLY ****!

Tester drags Reiberg back to the ring. Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jon Tester (D)

Republican War Room Republican Leader Reince Priebus anxiously paces back and forth while his pollsters crunch the numbers.

Both Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) burst into the room.

McConnell- Jesus, we’re getting killed out there, Reince! I thought this was in the bag.

Preibus- That’s what I was told.

Boehner- Now I’m hearing rumors that PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is seriously favoring returning Barack Obama for another four year term as PCW CEO.

Preibus- We’re working on it.

The pollsters hits the phones and try to find out just what the hell is going on.

Suave- So far, the Democrats have the upper hand and this next match is crucial. Let’s go to the ring.

Match 5: Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006, Sherrod Brown (D-OH) was the outsider taking on entrenched Mike DeWine (R-OH) for a berth on the PCW Executive Committee.

Now the tables have turned and Brown is the insider trying to fight off the challenge of young Josh Mandel (R-OH) and keep his seat. Can Brown’s experience and guile overcome Mandel’s youthfulness? The run up has been harsh and contentious and the match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 promises to be the same.

Kimber Marshall makes the introductions. Former PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) join Sherrod Brown at ringside and they taunt the young Mandel before the bell rings.

Brown immediately on the offense and places Mandel on the turnbuckle. Front-layout superplex. Mandel tries a spinning leg lariat on Brown who ducks it. Brown hits Mandel with the double arm DDT into the mat and then connects with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brown climbs to his feet and covers Mandel hooking the leg …1 …2 Mandel kicks out. Brown grabs Mandel and applies an arm wrench. Brown covers Mandel. …1 …2 Mandel kicks out again. Brown hits the German Suplex on Mandel. He knees Mandel and rolls him out of the ring into the waiting arms of Big Union.

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker work Mandel over. Brown joins in and elbows the midsection. Big Labor lifts Mandel up…powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Big Labor rolls Mandel back into the ring. Brown makes the academic cover…1..2…3.

WINNER: Sherrod Brown (D)

Nate Silver runs out and shouts that “he was right,” “he was right.” Suave reminds everyone that we won’t know until later on who will be the PCW CEO.

Suave- The Democrats pick up another one as Brown’s experience rules the day.

‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor gets on the mic after the match.

Big Labor- Scott Walker’s Rangers! Did you see what happened here? This is going to happen to you!

BACKSTAGE Vince McMahon tries to get to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office but security blocks his way.

McMahon- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M VINCE ******* McMAHON! I’VE MADE MORE MONEY OFF PRO WRESTLING IN ONE HOUR THEN THIS PIECE OF **** POLITICAL FEDERATION WILL EVER MAKE IN IT’S LIFETIME. THERE’S-

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs McMahon by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

MATCH #6 Claire McCaskill (D-MO) vs. Todd Akin (R-MO)

In Missouri, Claire McCaskill (D-MO) is defending her spot on the PCW Executive against challenger Todd Akin (R-MO).

Early on, the conventional wisdom was that McCaskill was vulnerable. However, once Akin opened up a big can of controversy over his ‘legitimate rape’ remarks, McCaskill has climbed back into the contest. Can McCaskill close the deal or will Akin somehow manage to overcome his own missteps to win a spot on the Executive Committee.

McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls. Akin to the mat. McCaskill nailed him again in the balls. Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Claire McCaskill (D)

Once again, Nate Silver runs out and shouts “I told ya! I told ya!”

Backstage Claire McCaskill high fives an aide as she makes her to the back. She’s confronted by Richard Mourdock (R-IN).

Mourdock- I can’t believe you did that to him.

Replay: McCaskill vs. Akin McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls. Akin to the mat. McCaskill nailed him again in the balls. Cover…1…2…3.

Mourdock- That was totally not called for. Totally not- OOOF.

McCaskill splits the uprights with a well placed kick and drops Mourdock.

Republican Locker Room “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, as always, pointing to his temple to make sure everyone realizes he’s a f****** genius, is doing his best to keep a semblance of order.

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Suave- Yeah, good luck with that.

Democratic Locker Room Talking with Stephanie Cutter, David Axelrod isn’t nearly as concerned about the welfare of his mustache as he was earlier in the night.

Axelrod- It’s time to unleash the GOTV.

Suave- We’re ready for our next match and it should be a good one.

Match #7 Tim Kaine (D-VA) vs. George Allen (R-VA) George Allen (R-VA) lost a tough match six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006 to James Webb (D-VA).

Tonight, Allen looks to return to the PCW Executive Committee as he takes on former Democratic Leader Tim Kaine (D-VA). This will be another bellwether match to gauge whether the Republicans will regain control of the Executive Committee and there’s a lot riding on the result.

Suave- I’m not sure if it’s as much of a bellwether now. It’s clear the Democrats are going to hold the PCW Executive Committee and the Republicans the Competition Committee.

Following Kimber Marshall’s introductions, the bell rings. Kaine comes out on fire and nails Allen repeatedly with right hands. Allen whipped into the corner. Kaine places Allen on the turnbuckle- front-layout suplex. Kaine gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Allen. Kaine sweeps Allen’s leg and rolls onto him with a knee. Allen gets right up and nails Kaine with an inverted DDT. He sends Kaine to ringside and follows. Allen throws a chair at Kaine. High crossbody by Allen. Kaine punched in the gut but Kaine comes back with a rake to the eyes and heads back to the ring. Allen follows but gets pulled back to the floor by the Democrats GOTV (Grapple to Total Victory)- consisting of Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy.

Hey, it was the best we could come up with.

Bain lifts Allen and hits a running powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Bain and O’Kennedy roll Allen back into the ring. Belly to belly by Kaine. Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Tim Kaine (D)

Nate Silver again runs out to proclaim that “he was right.”

Republican Locker Room ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove can’t believe it. Republican Leader Reince Preibus can’t believe it. He again turns to the pollsters.

Preibus – What’s going on here?

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly walks in.

O’Reilly- I’ll tell you what’s going on. You’re getting your ass kicked.

Preibus- Where are the Independents?

BACKSTAGE Speaking of PCW’s Independent/Unaffiliated contingent, they enter through a back door into Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon led by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan.

An aide comes up to Escondido and tells him that Barack Obama wants to talk with him. Escondido nods and leaves with the aide while Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Ken Worth- The American Trucker wait.

Suave- Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!”

The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson- Y’all know this one. This is our ode to Keith Olbermann. It’s called ‘Keith.’ Jackson (sings): Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down “But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus)

“Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson- All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

"Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile And Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.

Match #8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vs. Scott Brown (R-MA) Two years ago, Brown (R-MA) upset Martha Coakley (D-MA) for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. This year, he finds himself in a battle royale with challenger Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

Warren, who has Democratic political wrestling stalwarts Code Pink and Emily S List in her corner, is pushing hard to return the Massachusett’s seat back to the Democrats.

Can Brown hold off Warren’s challenge? Will Warren pick off a seat the Republicans need to take back control of the PCW Executive Committee? We’ll find out in just four days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Warren trips up Brown and then hits a corkscrew legdrop. Brown climbs to his feet and kicks Warren in the groin. She drops like a shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP! DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID?

Warren jumps back up and kicks Brown in the groin just as the Democratic GOTV hits the ring again. Bain bounces Brown off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat. Paddy O’Kennedy gives Brown a reverse neckbreaker. Bain nails Brown with a huge slingshot sommersault splash.

Suave- The Democrat’s GOTV is kicking ass. Where’s the Republican answer?

Republican Locker Room Reince Preibus is talking with a rather large gentleman…as in really large.

Preibus- ORCA. I need you to get in there and take out the GOTV.

ORCA nods and lumbers out the door.

Back ringside, Brown brawls outside with O’Kennedy but not for long. Bain sets up a pair of chairs in the ring and powerbombs Brown on them. Warren brings a table into play. Belly to belly from Bain sends Brown through the table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus is furious.

Preibus- Where the **** is ORCA?

Cut to…

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus- SON OF A BITCH!

Back in the ring, Bain rolls what’s left of Brown in and Warren makes the academic cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) join Warren and the GOTV in the ring to celebrate.

And yes, Nate Silver again runs out and…yeah.

At ringside, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is just giddy as the Democrats not only hold the PCW Executive Committee but Barack Obama appear to be on the verge of a second term as PCW CEO.

Matthews- Thank God that hurricane came along!

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Matthews- NO! I didn’t mean it like that!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to ringside. Matthews tries to run for it but WTF grabs him by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

BACKSTAGE

PCW’s Towel Boy returns from cleaning the ring ropes and jokes that the Republicans are as dead as the Los Angeles Lakers.

Suddenly, Kobe Bryant walks in and…

Kobe Death Stare

Suave- DON’T LOOK! DON’T LOOK!

Towel Boy drops dead quicker than the Lakers pulled the plug on Mike Brown this season.

Suave- HE LOOKED!

Meanwhile…

THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (D), pointing to his temple to remind everyone just how much of a f****** genius he is, continues to try to reassure the Republicans that everything’s okay…

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…and it’s not working.

MATCH #9 PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker ® © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Ever since Scott Walker’s Rangers won the PCW Tag Team belts at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view, Big Union and the Democrats have been gunning for a return match. Tonight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the two combustible forces will smash into each other with only one team leaving the ring as the PCW Tag Team champions.

Kimber Marshall – Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team Title. On the way to the ring at this time, ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker!!!

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, accompanied by the Democrats’ GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, come to the ring.

Kimber Marshall – and their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Scott Walker (R-WI), they are the PCW Tag Team Champions- the team of Ronnie Walker and John Walker, Scott Walker’s Rangers!

Ronnie Walker and John Walker walk to the ring with Scott Walker.

Suave- This is it…Big Union has been waiting for this match and tonight they get their shot at regaining the PCW Tag Team Title.

PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) join Scott Walker ringside as the bell sounds.

Ronnie Walker charges across the ring and nails Big Labor with a charging axhandle bodyblock. Ronnie springs off the ropes but this time Big Labor clotheslines him. Ronnie Walker tries to come back with a jawbreakeron but Big Labor pushes him off. Big Labor tackles Ronnie Walker and punches him repeatedly.

Suave – Big Labor trying to use his power and strength against Ronnie Walker.

Ronnie tries a waistlock suplex but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor. Big Labor throws him out to the floor. Big Labor follows and tells Ronnie he wants to wrestle. Then he promptly nails Ronnie with a folding chair. Big Labor with a backdrops and Paddy O’Kennedy of the Democratic GOTV follows with a pescado. Big Labor decides to get mean and dumps Ronnie Walker on the rail. Big Labor throws him over the rail into the crowd. The fight heads out into the fans for a brawl. Big Labor takes it up a notch by powerbombing Ronnie Walker on the floor.

Suave- Well, he’s dead. It’s over.

The crowd calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew.

Nurse Nellie

Big Labor calls for the bell saying it’s over. But somehow Boehner and McConnell roll Ronnie back in.

Big Labor chases Boehner and McConnell from the ring and turns and shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker. Ronnie Walker then whipped into the corner. He stumbled back out and right into a gut-wrench powerbomb. Ronnie tries to crawl to his corner but James the Jeep Worker slips in and pulls him across the ring. Big Labor goes to the top and drops the Elbow on Ronnie Walker. Cover…1…2…John Walker in for the save.

Suave- JOHN WALKER JUST MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW HE’S BRAWLING WITH JAMES THE JEEP WORKER.

John and James roll out of the ring and spill onto the floor. Ronnie Walker tries for a crotch slam but can’t lift Big Labor. Samoan Drop by Big Labor and Ronnie Walker is down. John Walker back in. Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Ronnie Walker blasts Big Labor from behind with a chairshot and pummels his head. Ronnie Walker drops a closed fist. Now James the Jeep Worker in and he tackles Ronnie Walker. Big Labor sends Ronnie Walker into the turnbuckle. In comes Bain and he splashes Ronnie Walker. Now, O’Kennedy back in. Spinning neck-breaker sends Ronnie to the mat.

Suave- No doubt about it. The Democrats’ GOTV is kicking serious ass here tonight. What happened to the Independents?

In a back hallway Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the rest of the Independents were sprawled over the floor with the Chicago Boss Squad and the Department of Justice standing over them.

Suave- Oh…

Big Labor pulls Ronnie Walker up. James the Jeep Worker in- swinging bulldog on drives Ronnie’s face to the mat. John Walker again in the ring but he gets intercepted by O’Kennedy. Ronnie Walker tries for a inverted backbreaker but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor. But Big Labor can…Powerslam! Powerslam! Powerslam! Big Labor flings sweat at Ronnie and hits a fourth powerslam.

Mitch McConnell is audibly heard shouting into a cell phone, “Where the **** is ORCA?”

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s STILL patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

RINGSIDE McConnell- SON OF A BITCH!

Big Labor with a spine buster to Ronnie Walker. He lifts Ronnie Walker and drops him with a ScabBuster. Cover…1 John Walker in for one last try but gets Picket Lined by James the Jeep Worker. …2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Reid, Pelosi, and the GOTV mob Big Union in the ring after the referee gave them the PCW Tag Team belts.

Suave- Two time PCW Tag Team Champions- Big Union regains the belts here at PCW Extreme Election Night.

BACKSTAGE ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, slightly disheveled now, insists to anyone who’ll listen that it’s still not over.

Rove- There’s something not right about this-

CUE: Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT…AGAIN!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs Rove by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

As yet again, the PCW clean up crew comes down to clean the mess left behind, Suave again reviews the results up to date:

Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.

Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.

Match 3- Jill Berg ® retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.

Match 4- Jon Tester (D-MT) def. Denny Rehberg (R-MT)

Match 5- Sherrod Brown (D-OH) def. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Match 6- Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Todd Akin (R-MO)

Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)

Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (R-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)

Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet. Security continues to stand guard outside the door.

HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.

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Back to the ring.

Suave- And now, it all comes down to this. The PCW Title match. Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT- PCW Title Match: Triple R (D)© vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match. After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks ® as his first major challenge as PCW Champion. In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.

Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.

Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!

Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).

Banks warily climbs into the ring.

Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior. He is Road Rage Randy. But you can call him the P-C-W Champion! Triple R!

Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.

Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks. Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger. The bell rings and it’s on.

Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet. Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him. Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out. Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap. Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat. Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside. Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face. Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.

Suave- And they’re outside. Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.

Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail. O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail. Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it. Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…

Candy Crowley of CNN

Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?

While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg. O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Banks is bleeding all over the place. O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure. Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it. Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots. Triple R with the DDT. The GOTV set up a table. Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.

Suave- HOLY CRAP! He just took Triple R’s head off.

But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks. New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table. O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break. Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring. Triple R covers but only gets two. Big Labor immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO! ORCA? ORCA MADE THE SAVE?

Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.

It’s shortlived. Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring. Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it. Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out. Triple R stomps Banks. Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again. Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies. He rains down right hands on the champion. Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee. That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.

Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match. Triple R with a forearm. And another. Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb! Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.

Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL! HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!

Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”

Triple R in the ring with the bell. Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?

Martha Raddatz

Suave- What is SHE doing down here?

Triple R blasts Banks with the bell. Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring. The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)

The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic. The Republicans? Stunned.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE

The door opens and out walks PCW Owner Bubba Jackson.

Suave- IT’S TIME! BUBBA JACKSON IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!

Crowd- PCW…PCW…PCW!

Obama, Triple R, and the Democrats celebrate in the ring.

Suave- AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT IF BARACK OBAMA GETS FOUR MORE YEARS AT THE HELM OF PCW OR WHETHER MITT ROMNEY WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

Silver takes the microphone from Suave.

Silver- I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL. THESE SPREADSHEETS PROVE THAT OBAMA WILL BE NAMED THE PCW CEO AGAIN. I TOLD YOU…I TOLD YOU ALL…I TOLD-

CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES! HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring. He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- Thank you. And now, it’s time…

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.

Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years. The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.

David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.

Jackson- No. George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years. This was a tough call but I have come to a decision. The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now. Mitt Romney. You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past? Cut taxes? These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.

Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.

Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess. You need to fix it. It’s Obama.

The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO. Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Rubio exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.

2 notes · View notes

pcwpolwrestling · 2 months

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3/10-Extreme Political TV/Super Tuesday Clash

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Sunday March 10th, 2024 Taped Tuesday in South Padre Beach, Texas

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Opening The energy in the arena was electric, palpitating with an intensity that could ignite the ocean itself. “PCW… PCW… PCW…” The chant grew louder and more fervent as Johnny Suave stood tall and proud in the center of the ring, his voice cutting through the cacophony like a knife through butter.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Political Championship Wrestling!” he bellowed, igniting a frenzy in the crowd. South Padre Island erupted, spring breakers’ voices melding with those of die-hard wrestling fans, their cheers creating a symphony of unabated excitement.

“Tonight,” Suave continued, his hands gesturing as if to physically grab each word from the air, “we’re bringing the heat to South Padre Island, Texas! Get ready for the Super Tuesday Clash showdown between Nikki Haley and Donald Trump… and PCW CEO Joe Biden will also be in action tonight!”

Professor McCarthy Segment His words were barely out before the atmosphere shifted, the mood turning as sour as day-old beer left under the Texan sun. Berkeley, California, Professor McCarthy strutted down to the ring, his Flock (Codee Pink, Emily S. List, The Young Jerks, and The Legion of Anti-Fascists aka…LOAF) in tow, their faces set in a self-righteous sneer that matched their leader’s.

McCarthy clutched his ‘good book of politically correct things, thoughts, and views’ against his chest as if it were the last bastion of hope in a world gone mad with freedom.

“Charlie Blackwell, you insult every intelligent person,” McCarthy spat, his voice dripping with disdain. “by the way you prance around with that fake belt when you have no moral authority to call yourself the World Champion!”

The crowd in the red seats booed, their disapproval raining down like a storm of discontent. McCarthy turned his venom toward the new PCW Tag Team Champions. “And the so-called new tag team champions… the jingoistic, nationalistic Starz N. Stripes and Stone Chism are unworthy of the glory they carry on their shoulders. The Green World Order are the moral champions.”

But then, like a bolt from the blue, Charlie Blackwell emerged, unphased, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’ll take on anyone you put in front of me tonight,” he declared. “And hell, I’ll even do it with one hand tied behind my back-“

Before the words fully left his mouth, chaos ensued. The Green World Order (GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA) ambushed Blackwell, but the American Heartland Coalition was quick to respond. ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan joined the fray, their fists flying like flags of rebellion.

The brawl spilled out of the ring, a maelstrom of bodies colliding with a ferocity that shook the very foundations of the PCW. They crashed through the ropes, battling tooth and nail as they disappeared backstage, leaving the crowd in a feverish state of awe and anticipation.

“Only at PCW, folks,” Suave said, shaking his head with a mix of disbelief and admiration, “can you find such an unhinged cocktail of wrestling and raw political satire.” The scene faded, but the echo of the crowd’s chants lingered, a testament to the madness that was Political Championship Wrestling.

Video Clip of Joe Biden’s State of PCW Address The lights dimmed, tension crackled in the air like static electricity as PCW CEO Joe Biden, wearing a hooded cloak in darkness and mystery right out of a world-famous movie space movie franchise, took center stage earlier this week for the State of PCW address. His voice boomed, each word laced with the confidence of a man who held power in the palm of his hand. “Under my reign, PCW has been lifted from the slums of obscurity to the pinnacle of political wrestling entertainment,” he declared, his eyes piercing through the shadows under the hood of his Emperor Palpatine-like robe.

The crowd roared as Biden took the stage, his face twisted into a sneer as he scanned the sea of red hats and American flags. “American Patriots,” he spat, drawing out each syllable with disdain. “Donald Trump… You and your extremist MAGA followers are relics of a bygone era.” The room erupted in a mixture of jeers and cheers, but Biden waited for the fervor to swell before continuing. “Let’s also not forget the unticketed issue,” he added, gesturing towards the overflowing crowd. “People who try to get into PCW events without paying for a ticket do so illegally.”

In a stark contrast, Dawn McGill stood in her office, surrounded by the reminders of her sacrifices – the stills from her Henhouse photo shoot (the tamest and tasteful ones). “No, it’s not,” she retorted sharply, her eyes scanning the images that chronicled her journey to revive PCW. “This is the price I paid to breathe life into this federation.” Her gaze was steely, unflinching, as she embodied the spirit of resilience.

Back at the broadcast desk, Johnny Suave couldn’t resist a wry smile, “McGill should do it again to help pay off the national debt.” His quip hung in the air, a playful jab at the absurdity of it all.

Replay: Joe Biden Super Tuesday Clash Match Highlights “Welcome back folks,” Suave said, his voice cutting through the arena as he sat beside Colleen Crowder, the narrative-driven journalist whose words shaped perceptions. “Up next, we have the Super Tuesday Clash match.

“Absolutely, Johnny,” Colleen chimed in, her voice carrying the weight of her paper’s narrative. “Biden absolutely knocked it out of the park with his address. He’s on track to dominate PCW for another four years and prove why he deserves to be the Supreme CEO of PCW.”

The moment arrived. The match began with Biden, still donning his ominous Palpatine-ish garb, pushing the hood back to reveal a glare that could cut glass. Across the ring, a red-shirted jobber trembled, straight out of a Star Trek episode, perhaps already accepting his fate.

“Look at the intensity in Biden’s eyes!” Suave exclaimed as the bell rang. But then, pandemonium erupted when Biden unleashed a devastating laser beam from his eyes, missing his intended target and accidentally striking a security guard in the backdrop, who dropped to the floor in a heap.

“Wrong direction, Mr. CEO!” Suave shouted, the crowd gasping in horror. Aides scrambled, redirecting Biden’s gaze toward the hapless jobber, who was promptly incinerated by another burst of Biden’s laser vision. The match ended almost as soon as it began, the red-shirted wrestler reduced to ash, a victim of the merciless display of power.

“An easy win for Biden,” Colleen boasted, brushing off the accident with the security guard. “Just a preview of the Blue Wave coming in November!”

Suave raised an eyebrow, “What about the poor guard?”

But Colleen had no time for collateral damage, her narrative unshaken. “This is PCW, Johnny. It’s survival of the fittest.”

The camera lingered on Suave’s face, a mix of concern and disbelief etched across his features as he contemplated the brutal nature of Political Championship Wrestling.

Spring Break Update “Chaos backstage!” Woodward Bernstein’s voice cut through the din of disgruntled spring breakers, his words barely audible over their raucous complaints. The camera shook slightly as it captured the scene—a group of rowdy youth adorned in neon tank tops and oversized sunglasses, each one looking more indignant than the last.

“Tell me,” Bernstein shouted, trying to hold the microphone steady as a beach ball bounced off his head, “what has brought this level of… dissatisfaction among you all?”

A sunburned young man, with a half-empty plastic cup of beer sloshing in his hand, leaned into the microphone. “We came here to PCW to party hard! You know, like South Padre Island style—break some rules, get wasted, and enjoy the mayhem!”

“Instead,” a girl with her hair in messy braids chimed in, “we got MVW Security on our tails the moment we tried to lighten up the mood!” She gestured wildly behind her, where security personnel stood firm, arms crossed, unamused by the antics.

“PCW used to be about the freedom to throw down!” another added. “Now, it’s just like any other snoozefest.”

“Hey,” Bernstein interjected, “aren’t there plenty of other ways to enjoy your time here without causing trouble?”

“Boooring!” the crowd chanted in unison, a symphony of discontent echoing down the corridors.

“Alright, alright,” Bernstein replied, dodging another inflatable object. “I think we’ve heard enough.” He turned back to the camera. “You’ve witnessed it first-hand, folks—PCW’s spring break guests are not happy campers.”

Joe Biden Apologizes The feed switched abruptly back to Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the broadcast desk, both wearing expressions that suggested they’d seen such antics before.

“Breaking news, folks,” Suave announced, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Apparently, causing chaos is now considered ‘partying.’ Who knew?” He rolled his eyes so visibly that it could almost be heard.

“Speaking of breaking news,” Colleen interjected, her tone serious but with a hint of approval, “PCW CEO Joe Biden has issued an apology for his previous comments stating people who attempt to attend PCW shows without tickets are doing so ‘illegally.’”

The screen split, showing Biden with a contrite expression. “My choice of words was poor,” he said solemnly. “From now on, we will refer to them as ‘unticketed newcomers.’ We welcome all fans.”

Back at the desk, Suave couldn’t help himself. His eyes performed yet another dramatic roll, visible even to those in the cheap seats.

“Unticketed newcomers,” Colleen repeated with a nod, fully onboard with the new narrative. “It’s inclusive and understanding.”

“Sure, if you say so,” Suave muttered, his skepticism thick as molasses. “But wait, there’s more,” he continued, now cutting back to Bernstein, who had somehow survived the spring breaker storm.

Mitch McConnell Update “Thank you, Johnny,” Bernstein said, straightening his tie. “In a surprising turn of events, Mitch McConnell will be stepping down as one of the leaders of the American Patriots.”

“Really?” Colleen’s face fell, her allegiance to the narrative clear. “That’s a shame. McConnell had quite the rapport with Biden.”

“Such a loss for bipartisanship,” Suave quipped dryly. “Well, folks, stay tuned. If tonight’s any indication, the road to November in PCW is going to be one wild ride.”

And with that, the screen faded to black, punctuated by the distant sound of spring breakers chanting, “PCW! PCW! PCW!”

MAIN EVENT: Donald Trump vs. Nikki Haley-Super Tuesday Clash Match The arena pulsated with the rhythm of uncontained excitement as Kimber Marshall’s voice cut through the noise, “Introducing first, the challenger, Nikki Haley!” The crowd offered a mixed response, some jeering, others cheering as Colleen Crowder, the left-leaning commentator, couldn’t contain her partiality, punching the air in support. Johnny Suave’s voice remained steady yet tinged with a hint of foreboding, “Folks, take a good look. This might be the last time we see Haley make this walk.”

“Johnny, don’t count her out just yet,” Colleen retorted, her eyes locked on Haley’s determined stride.

“Make way for the Trumpinator!” Kimber’s announcement shifted the energy to new heights as Donald Trump emerged, his appearance a tongue-in-cheek homage to the cyborg assassin, drawing a raucous ovation from the red seats. Swagger and confidence incarnate, he descended upon the ring like a force of nature, each step resonating with the promise of impending battle.

*Ding ding ding!*

“Main event time at Super Tuesday Clash!” Suave bellowed as the bell echoed. The clash began with an exchange of heavy blows, the two political titans locked in a struggle for supremacy. It seemed inevitable that Trump, with his larger than life presence, would dominate – but Haley was no pushover. She absorbed hit after hit, resilient as ever, rising to meet each new challenge with unwavering defiance.

“Look at Haley go! She’s not backing down an inch!” Suave exclaimed, as the brawl spilled over the ropes, crashing into the territory of the fervent front-row spectators. Each punch thrown drew gasps and shouts, creating a chaotic symphony of violence and spectacle.

Then, in a moment of brutal precision, Trump executed a jarring gourdbuster right onto the unforgiving steel of the guard rail, sending shivers down the collective spine of the audience. With Haley reeling, Trump sauntered back into the squared circle, exhibiting the patience of a seasoned predator awaiting its prey.

“Trump may have just sealed the deal here!” Suave’s voice carried a note of concern as Haley, battered but not beaten, clawed her way back to her feet, determination etched across her face.

“Come on, Nikki!” Colleen’s cheerleading reached fever pitch as Haley, with a sudden burst of adrenaline, stumbled toward the apron, her hand snatching a steel chair from beneath the ring. The crowd held their breath as she slid back into the ring, armed and ready for retribution.

“Things are about to get extreme!” Suave declared, the old ECW spirit alive in his words as the Political Championship Wrestling universe braced itself for the next chapter in this high-stakes saga.

The chair crashes against Trump’s back, a metallic thud echoing through the arena. “Haley’s going full throttle!” Suave’s voice rises with excitement. But Trump stands defiant, an unyielding mountain in the eye of the storm.

“Unbelievable! The Trumpinator won’t go down!” Suave is half impressed, half incredulous.

“Keep hitting him, Nikki!” Colleen implores, her voice laced with desperation. Haley unleashes a flurry of moves—a sharp kick to the groin, another vicious chair shot—yet, Trump remains on his feet, as if fueled by some inexhaustible power source.

“Is he even human?” Suave questions, bemusement creeping into his tone.

“Come on! That’s got to hurt,” Colleen argues, her bias barely concealed.

In a swift motion, Trump’s large hands grasp the chair, ripping it away from Haley’s grip. *CLANG!* Down goes Haley, the sound reverberating like a gong of defeat.

“Good grief! Haley’s been flattened!” Suave’s voice matches the shockwave that ripples through the crowd.

“Outrageous!” Colleen’s voice cracks, incensed by the turn of events. Trump sets up two chairs with methodical precision, grabbing Haley to her feet.

“Trump’s looking to end this now,” Suave notes grimly.

But Haley, driven by sheer will, rakes Trump’s eyes in a desperate counter-attack. Trump staggers but quickly recovers, hoisting Haley into the air.

“Here it comes… Tornado DDT!” Suave bellows as Trump drives Haley skull-first through both chairs with catastrophic force.

The impact splits the arena—red seats erupt in raucous cheers while the blue seats sit in stunned silence. Trump hooks the leg: one…two…three.

“Kimber Marshall confirms it—your winner, Donald Trump!” Suave declares, the finality of the moment hanging heavy in the air.

WINNER: Donald Trump

Colleen pouts, her narrative shattered by reality. Trump basks in his victory, exiting the ring amidst a chorus of adulation and disdain.

Nikki Haley Segment Haley, ever the warrior, rises to her feet and grasps the microphone with a shaky hand. “Thank you for your unwavering support,” she begins, gratitude infusing her words as she addresses the nation. She concedes her campaign with dignity, urging Trump to reach out to those who stood with her.

“An honorable exit,” Suave acknowledges, respect evident in his voice.

“Disappointing,” Colleen adds tersely, her dreams of a different outcome dashed upon the canvas.

Mitch McConnell Update Backstage, the atmosphere crackled with the electric aftermath of the Super Tuesday Clash. Amidst the cacophony of production crew and the lingering adrenaline, PCW’s Woodward Bernstein took center stage, microphone in hand, his expression grave yet tinged with the excitement of breaking news.

“PCW Universe,” Bernstein boomed, “I’ve just received word that Mitch McConnell is now officially backing Donald Trump for the CEO position of PCW.” His announcement cut through the noise, commanding attention.

In the broadcast booth, Colleen Crowder’s face soured instantly, a visceral reaction as if she’d bitten into a lemon. “That’s really unfortunate,” she lamented, her voice a mixture of disappointment and disbelief. “McConnell had such a productive working relationship with Joe Biden and…” Her words trailed off into a frustrated sputter; hands thrown up in a gesture of exasperation as if to say, ‘What’s the use?’

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave, cool as ever in his ringside seat, leaned towards the mic, his voice calm and measured, providing the counterbalance to Colleen’s emotional turbulence. “Well, Colleen, it looks like the landscape of PCW is changing once again. With Mitch McConnell’s support, Donald Trump solidifies his standing. And folks, you heard it here first—it will be Donald Trump versus Joe Biden this November for CEO of PCW!”

The camera lingered on Suave’s confident smile, a stark contrast to Colleen’s discomfiture. The scene backstage faded out, but the implications of Bernstein’s news echoed throughout the arena, setting the stage for a monumental showdown come November.

“Will Biden continue his reign or will Trump regain the throne?” Suave posed the question to the viewers at home, his voice infused with the hype that only PCW could deliver. “One thing is certain—it’s going to be an all-out war for control of PCW.”

As the show reached its crescendo, Suave delivered the closing line with the gravitas of a seasoned ring veteran, “Goodnight from South Padre Island, Texas.”

The screen went black, the roar of the crowd fading into silence.

RESULTS: -MAIN EVENT-Donald Trump defeated Nikki Haley in the Super Tuesday Clash match

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3/3-PCW Extreme Political TV

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Sunday March 4th, 2024 PCW Arena Washington, DC

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Tuesday Night at Michigan Madness in Grand Ledge, Michigan: Trump vs. Haley The raucous energy of the PCW Extreme Political TV audience hits a fever pitch as the screen flickers to life, showing the grainy footage from Michigan Madness from Grand Ledge, Michigan. The unmistakable figure of Donald Trump, his hair a golden coif even in the low-res video, stands triumphant amidst the cacophony of jeers and cheers. With the precision of a practiced showman, he swings a kendo stick with a vindictive crack against the already faltering Nikki Haley. Her resilience wanes; she’s a cornered political animal in the ring, but even her grit has limits against Trump’s relentless assault.

“Holy Crap!” Johnny Suave’s voice pierces through the uproar as Trump meticulously sets up the table, positioning it like a sacrificial altar. He hoists Haley up—she’s struggling, but it’s no use. The slam through the wood is definitive, resounding through the arena like a gavel pronouncing judgment. “He hooks the legs… 1… 2… 3,” Suave announces, his voice tinged with disbelief at the ease of Trump’s victory.

“Welcome to tonight’s PCW Extreme Political TV from the PCW Arena in Washington, DC,” Suave greets the viewers at home, his tone shifting to the familiar excitement of prime-time wrestling. Beside him, Colleen Crowder sits with a scowl etched into her features, clearly not impressed with the former President’s win. “Colleen, I have to say, Trump’s dominance tonight was something else.”

“Something else indeed, Johnny,” Colleen retorts sharply and sarcastically, “but let’s talk about a real win. Joe Biden’s victory in Michigan on Tuesday.”

Michigan Madness in Grand Ledge, Michigan: Biden vs. whoever The video clip rolls, showcasing an empty ring where Biden’s opponent should have stood. In a moment of absurdity that only PCW can deliver, an uncommitted, red-shirted jobber right out of a Star Trek episode ambles out, a lamb to the slaughter… but getting some support from the Michigan fans. With the dramatic flare of a certain space-related movie franchise, Biden’s eyes ignite into lasers, zapping the unfortunate soul into oblivion. A quick pin, if you want to call it that, another decisive triumph.

Colleen can’t help but smirk. “That’s how you do it, Johnny. And come November, that Blue Wave is going to sweep right through.”

Opener: Suave nods, allowing the political jab to hang in the air for a moment before moving on. “This Tuesday, it’s Super Tuesday and we will tape next week’s PCW show from Tennessee. But now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight PCW will be crowning new tag team champions in a four-way elimination match that promises to be nothing short of chaotic.”

The camera pans across the roaring crowd as Suave runs down the lineup: The Deplorables, led by Red Solo Cup Ray McAvay and ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, wave their flags high, the very embodiment of the American Heartland Coalition. They stand opposite The Green World Order, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete, who brandish recycled signs and wear the determined scowls of the Progressive Alliance.

“Let’s not forget the Sports Entertainment Corporation,” Suave continues, the camera catching Gator Bates and The Alabama Kid cracking their knuckles menacingly, corporate sharks ready to bite. “And last but certainly not least, representing the American Patriots, Starz N. Stripes and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, looking to add some star-spangled flair to the PCW Tag Team titles!”

In true ECW fashion, the tension is palpable, the stakes sky-high. Each team embodies a facet of the American spirit, from heartland values to progressive ideals, corporate power plays to patriotic fervor. As Suave wraps up the introduction, the crowd’s anticipation becomes a tangible entity, the air thick with the promise of an extreme showdown that will leave the PCW universe forever changed.

Pulp Fiction Video Promos The screen flashes to a montage of slick skyscrapers, the pulse of Wall Street throbbing like the heart of America’s financial power. A ticker tape of stock prices scrolls at the bottom as ‘The Real Wolf of Main Street’ Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks strut into frame, the very picture of corporate excess with their tailored suits and smug grins.

“Listen up, peons!” Walstreit snarls, his voice dripping with condescension. “We are the bottom line, the portfolio pinnacle of PCW! And our future plans states we’re diversifying our assets with gold… tag team gold!”

Beside him, P.M.C. Banks chimes in, “Market trends say it’s time for a hostile takeover of the tag team division!”

Their manager, Gordon Guyko, steps forward, his face a mask of greed incarnate. “Remember, folks,” he advises with a slick smile, “Greed is good… greed is really, really good.”

***

Cutting away from the glitz of Wall Street, the scene transitions to a lavish Hollywood set. Spotlights dance over ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, flanked by The Skanky Rich Bimbos, Paris and Nicole, who pose with practiced pouts. The Pop Songstress Mega-Star Taylor Switt stands beside them, her agreement silent but evident in her steady nod.

Daniels preens before the camera, his teeth a blinding white as he boasts, “The PCW Title? It’s practically begging for some Hollywood flair. Star power… that’s what it needs. And that’s what I bring.”

***

“PCW Originals” Justin Sufferable and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido crash the glamorous scene, the camera jolting to the gritty locker room where they stand, sweat and determination etched on their faces.

“PCW blood runs through these veins!” Justin declares, punching his chest. “We’ve been here since day one. We’re not just part of PCW; we ARE PCW! And the title picture won’t be complete without us. I’m not just unbearable… I’m not just intolerable… I am… JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!”

***

The camera shifts again, this time to the scholarly confines of Berkeley, California. Professor McCarthy holds the ‘good book of politically correct things, thoughts, and views’ clutched against his chest like a sacred text. Around him, The Flock nod zealously—Codee Pink, Emily S. List, The Young Jerks, and The Legion of Anti-Fascists—each one a fervent disciple.

“Today’s lesson,” McCarthy intones, “is about adherence to the good book! Charlie Blackwell and all those who defy its teachings must be shouted down!”

***

From the hallowed halls of academia, the feed cuts to a dusty American road. There stands Main Street USA—Mike the Mechanic, Farmer John Deer, Ken Worth-The American Trucker, with ‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith by their side, looking like a snapshot of Americana itself.

“PCW’s got to understand,” Mike the Mechanic says, wiping grease from his hands, “what happens when gas prices soar and food costs more than it should. PCW needs champions who know that struggle!”

***

“Speaking of champions…” The camera pans to reveal Charlie Blackwell, the Texan holding the PCW Title with pride. He stares down the lens, intensity burning in his eyes.

“American Patriots, Progressive Alliance,” he drawls, “I ain’t hard to find. You want this?” He pats the belt. “Come and get it.”

The montage ends with a back-and-forth of determined faces, each faction poised for battle, each contender ready to lay claim to the PCW Tag Team titles. The screen fades to black, leaving the viewers on the edge of their seats, primed for the chaos to come.

Outside the PCW Arena The camera jostles through a sea of raucous fans outside the PCW Arena, the air thick with anticipation and the scent of spilled beer. The lens focuses on Woodward Bernstein, microphone in hand, as he navigates the growing tension at the entrance.

“Chaos reigns supreme here as ticketless masses clamor for entry,” Bernstein shouts over the din. He pans to Donald Trump, who’s throwing his hands up in exasperation at one door, his face a caricature of indignation as people push against the barriers. “Unbelievable! Total disaster,” Trump bellows, pointing accusingly at the crowd. “They’re trying to sneak in without buying a ticket!”

Swiveling sharply, the camera catches Joe Biden offering a contrasting scene by another door, fewer unticketed patrons mingle there but the same sense of urgency. “Folks,” Biden addresses the few gathered, “I’ve got a plan. A proposal that could end this malarkey if everyone’s on board.”

“Back to you, Colleen,” Bernstein tosses, the feed cutting away just as the blue seat faction erupts in cheers from inside the venue.

MAIN EVENT-PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Deplorables vs. The Green World Order vs. The Sports Entertainment Corporation vs. Starz N. Stripes/’The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism Inside, the atmosphere is electric. The ring sits like a gladiatorial stage awaiting its warriors. Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall steps into the spotlight, her voice rising above the cacophony.

“Introducing first, fighting out of the American Heartland Coalition corner… The Deplorables!” Red Solo Cup Ray McAvay and ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan stride out, their every step met with a mix of jeers and approval.

“Next, representing the Progressive Alliance… The Green World Order!” Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete emerge, eliciting a chorus of boos mingled with some scattered applause from the eco-friendly in attendance.

“Coming down from Corporate America, The Sports Entertainment Corporation!” Gator Bates and The Alabama Kid saunter to the ring, their arrogance as palpable as the disdain they inspire from the crowd.

“Finally, Starz N. Stripes and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, representing the American Patriots!” The duo bursts onto the scene to a hero’s welcome, revving the crowd into a frenzy as they make a beeline for the squared circle.

“Your referee for tonight’s bout, PCW senior referee Corrina Romanov!” As the Russian official steps forward, a ripple of unease spreads through the audience.

“Wait just a minute,” Colleen interjects, her tone laced with suspicion. “Corrina Romanov? After what happened last time Russia meddled in a PCW match? You have got to be kidding me!”

“Colleen, let’s not jump to conclusions,” chides Johnny Suave, ever the voice of reason even amidst the unruly pandemonium.

The raucous PCW arena quivers with anticipation as the bell tolls, its clangor heralding the dance of mayhem. Eight warriors, draped in the vivid tapestries of their allegiances, collide in a chaotic ballet within the squared circle. Muscles taut and eyes ablaze, they exchange blows that echo the thunderous sentiments of their respective factions.

“Business is about to pick up here!” thunders Johnny Suave, his voice cutting through the din like a siren’s call.

“Let’s hope it’s not at the expense of fair play,” chides Colleen Crowder, her skepticism aimed squarely at the Russian referee Corrina Romanov.

Amidst this tumultuous melee, bodies soar over the ropes, expelled from the tempest like political dissidents. The dust settles to reveal an imposing tableau: Starz N. Stripes locked in mortal combat with the zealous ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee. Their struggle is a microcosm of ideological warfare, each strike a manifesto, every grapple a debate.

“Starz showing the power of patriotic might!” exclaims Suave, his voice tinged with excitement.

“Or maybe just brute force,” retorts Colleen, ever the contrarian.

Gator Bates, the embodiment of corporate ruthlessness, slithers back into the fray for the SEC, his presence tipping the scales. Ray McAvay, the Deplorable everyman, joins the skirmish, his fists writing checks of defiance that his body must cash.

“McAvay’s not going down without a fight!” Suave roars.

“Typical underdog rhetoric,” Colleen snipes, rolling her eyes.

But the narrative twists as Lee, Bates, and Starz suddenly cease their hostilities, turning their collective gaze upon McAvay. What follows is a brutal symphony—a three-on-one beatdown, the soundtrack to which is the groans of the Heartland hero. William Daniels Bryan, ‘The Prairie Populist,’ rushes to aid his partner but finds himself outflanked by The Alabama Kid and GreenPete, who dispatch him with ruthless efficiency.

“McAvay’s in trouble! Is this a conspiracy?” Suave’s voice cracks with concern.

“Or just the harsh reality of politics—and wrestling,” Colleen counters, a wry smile playing on her lips.

Bates goes for the cover. One… Two… Three. The Deplorables are vanquished, their populist dreams dashed upon the canvas.

“Down go The Deplorables!” Suave laments, the crowd echoing his sentiment with a mixture of cheers and boos.

ELIMINATED: The Deplorables (American Heartland Coalition)

“Survival of the fittest, Johnny,” Colleen quips, unfazed by the carnage.

Now only three teams remain, standing amidst the detritus of battle. Chairs clang against flesh as Brock Cole Lee, eco-warrior incarnate, swings wildly, felling opponents with the precision of a chainsaw through virgin forest. Starz catches The Alabama Kid in the clutches of the American Stars and Fujiwara Arm Bar, the submission hold as inescapable as the grasp of Uncle Sam’s tax collector.

“Will The Alabama Kid tap?” Suave gasps, on the edge of his seat.

“Only if he’s got any sense left,” Colleen muses, a smirk curling her lips.

But then, a chairshot rings out like a gavel of injustice—Lee connecting with Starz’s skull, derailing his momentum. Chism enters with a vengeance, delivering the Anti-Hollywood Blockbuster to Lee.

“Chism’s looking to steal the spotlight!” Suave declares, admiration evident in his tone.

“Typical,” Colleen scoffs, undeterred in her cynicism.

The chaos intensifies as Bates lands the Gator Chomp on Chism, and GreenPete fires off the Harpoon to Bates. Tables shatter, kendo sticks splinter, and steel chairs fold beneath the weight of ambition and desperation.

“An absolute free-for-all! This is PCW at its most extreme!” Suave yells, barely audible over the bedlam.

“Or its most absurd,” Colleen murmurs, her voice almost lost in the cacophony.

The PCW faithful roar their approval, baying for more as the ring became a maelstrom of mayhem, each man fighting not just for the gold but for their very ideology. Brock Cole Lee, the purveyor of plant-based punishment, launched himself into the air, crashing down onto Starz with The Juicer—a move as smooth and brutal as a well-crafted stump speech. The crowd was on its feet; this could be the end.

“Starz’s dream might just be juiced!” Suave hollered, his voice climbing octaves in suspense.

But Chism, ever the showman, dove into the fray, breaking the count just in time. His arrival was timely, keeping hope alive for the American Patriots.

“Chism with the save! This match continues!” Suave exclaimed, nearly breathless with excitement.

GreenPete, the eco-warrior, wasn’t about to let the opposition grow roots. He charged, spearing Chism. The Alabama Kid, all Southern pride and power…with a crap-ton of NIL to boot… then delivered The Crimson Tide to GreenPete. It looked like another one bites the dust, but Lee sprang into action, disrupting the pinfall.

“Chairshots! Chairshots!” Suave cried out as the competitors escalated their offensive to new heights of extremity, echoing the political battlefield outside the squared circle.

Then, amid the chaos, Starz seized an opportunity. The Alabama Kid found himself upended over the top rope, his exit as unceremonious as a concession speech. Starz then turned, his eyes locking on GreenPete who lunged with a Harpoon, only to find nothing but steel as Starz dodged, leaving GreenPete to collide with the unforgiving ring post.

“Oooh, Green “Oooh, GreenPete just made a campaign promise to that ringpost, and I don’t think it’s one he intended to keep!” Suave hollered, his voice dripping with the kind of glee reserved for political upsets and underdog victories.

With GreenPete reeling, Starz pounced like a candidate on a hot-button issue, dragging his dazed opponent back into the center of the ring. With the precision of a debate team champion, Starz applied the American Stars and Fujiwara Arm Bar.

“Starz is locking it in! He’s looking to make GreenPete tap out faster than a politician changes their stance!” Suave roared as Colleen Crowder shook her head, clearly not appreciating the analogy.

“Oh shut up, Johnny.”

On the apron, Brock Cole Lee, ever the activist, attempted to intervene. But Chism was there, yanking Lee down. The crowd erupted as GreenPete’s resistance finally crumbled, tapping out to the unrelenting pressure.

“GreenPete has tapped! The Green World Order is eliminated! We’re down to two teams!” Suave declared.

ELIMINATED: The Green World Order (Progressive Alliance)

But the bell had barely rung before Professor McCarthy, with his cadre of ideological warriors—the Flock—stormed the ring, incensed by the elimination. Their protest was as loud and disruptive as a filibuster on the Senate floor.

“Here comes the Flock, and they’re not happy about this at all!” Suave observed, as chaos enveloped the arena.

In response, McAvay, Bryan, and PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition rushed down to confront the interlopers. The tension in the air crackled like live cables at a political rally gone awry. Corporate World, represented by Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks, sprinted down the ramp, eager to capitalize on the commotion.

“Corporate World joining the fray! It’s pandemonium in the PCW Arena!” Suave shouted, struggling to be heard over the din of the crowd.

The ring became a maelstrom of conflict, every faction fighting for supremacy, echoing the tumultuous nature of the political arena where only the shrewdest survive. Steel chairs swung like policies debated on the floor, each strike landing with the impact of a closing argument.

The PCW arena, a battleground of brawn and bravado, was on the precipice of descending into anarchy when Dawn McGill, the statuesque owner of PCW, emerged with a battalion of security guards, her heels clicking with authority on the concrete.

“IT’S DAWN McGILL!” Suave shouted.

“Why?” Colleen responded.

The crowd’s rowdy chants turned to cheers as she cut through the chaos like a decisive ballot measure. Her gaze was sharp, commanding respect and compliance as she pointed at each uninvited intruder, her gestures clear: it was time for order to be restored.

“Get ’em out of here!” she barked, her voice cutting through the noise like a campaign slogan piercing through political ads. One by one, the members of the Flock, Corporate World, and other non-competitors were escorted from the ring, their protests drowned out by the approval of the spectators. It took minutes that felt like an old school filibuster, but eventually, the ring was cleared, leaving only the true contenders for the PCW Tag Team Championship.

“Alright, folks, we’re back to sanctioned mayhem,” Johnny Suave announced, his voice tinged with a mixture of relief and excitement as Colleen Crowder scowled beside him, clearly unhappy with the interruption of the progressive narrative.

Back in the squared circle, the SEC and Starz N. Stripes along with Stone Chism re-engaged with a ferocity reminiscent of a hotly contested primary. Gator Bates launched off the ropes and connected with a Doomsday Device to Chism, who barely kicked out at two, keeping the American Patriots’ hopes alive.

“Chism avoids disaster! But can he capitalize?” Suave hollered as the fans roared, divided in their loyalties.

With the cunning of a seasoned political strategist, Chism sidestepped the Gator Chomp and countered with a cutter that left Bates stunned. They ascended the turnbuckle, trading elbows with the intensity of debate-night zingers. The Alabama Kid joined the fray, and together they executed a high-risk maneuver that nearly sealed the deal, but again, Chism survived by a hair’s breadth.

“Unbelievable! Chism is hanging on like a third-party candidate on election night!” Suave exclaimed.

Chism’s retaliation was swift and merciless—a low blow to Bates, the kind of dirty trick seen in negative ad campaigns. In a flash, he tagged in Starz, who unleashed a barrage of offense, slamming both Bates and The Alabama Kid into turnbuckles with the force of a landslide victory.

“Starz is cleaning house, and the crowd is loving it!” Colleen Crowder admitted begrudgingly.

Starz then planted Bates with a DDT before synching in the American Stars and Fujiwara Arm Bar, wrenching back with the determination of a determined incumbent. Chism, not to be outdone, delivered another low blow to The Alabama Kid, ensuring his partner could maintain the hold.

“Desperation moves by Chism! But hey, all’s fair in love, war, and politics… I mean wrestling!” Suave quipped as the crowd watched with rapt attention.

Bates had no choice but to tag out, his will sapped by Starz’s relentless grip. It was the moment of truth—Starz N. Stripes and Stone Chism secured the victory and became the new PCW Tag Team Champions. The crowd erupted into euphoria and dissent, a reflection of the polarized state of the nation itself.

“Starz N. Stripes and Stone Chism have done it! They’ve climbed to the top of the PCW mountain!” Suave declared, while Colleen Crowder’s expression soured further, her disappointment palpable.

“Sure, they won, but at what cost? And with what tactics?” she muttered, embodying the skepticism and critique often levied in political circles.

As the show wrapped up, the new champions hoisted their titles high, the PCW arena awash in the glow of their triumph. Suave signed off with characteristic flair, “This has been PCW Extreme Political TV… next week… Super Tuesday! Goodnight, everybody!”

Colleen Crowder, still salty about the outcome, could only offer a curt nod as the credits rolled, her mind already crafting tomorrow’s narrative.

RESULTS: -MAIN EVENT-PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Starz N Stripes and ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism defeated The Deplorables, The Green World Order, and The Sports Entertainment Corporation

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2/25-PCW Extreme Political TV from South Carolina

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Greenville, South Carolina Sunday February 25th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Opening: The raucous crowd of Greenville roared with electric fervor as Johnny Suave, the unmistakable Voice of PCW, bounded into the ring with the kind of kinetic energy that could jumpstart a dead 1974 Ford Pinto. His shock of hair stood on end, as if each strand was vying for its moment in the spotlight, and his voice boomed through the arena like a megaphone at a rally.

“Welcome, one and all, to PCW’s Extreme Political TV!” Suave bellowed, his arms sweeping the air with the grandeur of a maestro conducting a symphony of chaos. “I am Johnny Suave. She is Colleen Crowder from ‘That Big New York Newspaper That Pushes Narrative as News.’

Beside him, Colleen Crowder, the left-leaning color commentator whose byline also graced ‘That Big New York Newspaper that pushes ‘Narrative as News’, rolled her eyes with such theatrical aplomb that even the back rows could witness her dissent. With a flourish of mock indignation, she pressed her palms over her ears, though a sly grin betrayed her amusement at Suave’s relentless enthusiasm.

“Johnny, I wish you wouldn’t say it like that,” she quipped, “and I’m two decibels away from a workers’ comp claim.”

Ignoring the barb, Suave revved up the crowd further, the pitch of his voice climbing higher, as if he were a human hype machine fueled by the passion of the partisans that filled the stands.

“Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we will bear witness to a clash of titanic egos, a battle for the soul of the American Patriots!” He pointed a dramatic finger toward the entrance ramp. “Former PCW CEO Donald Trump, the man with more gold than Fort Knox, faces off against Nikki Haley, South Carolina’s own political pugilist!”

The audience erupted, a cacophony of cheers and jeers crashing against the turnbuckles like a tidal wave of public opinion.

“Let’s not forget,” Suave continued, leaning in with the confidential air of someone disclosing state secrets, “Haley’s coming into this ring backed by many of the Progressive Alliance and with anti-Trump factions of the American Patriots cheering her on!”

As Suave’s words hung in the charged atmosphere, banners emblazoned with the logos of the Progressive Alliance and American Patriots rippled above the crowd like the flags of warring nations. The stage was set not just for a wrestling bout, but for an ideological showdown that would reverberate through the hallowed halls of PCW history.

“Also tonight,” Suave continued, pacing the canvas with the fervor of a preacher at the pulpit, “we unveil the four tag teams who will grapple for glory and gold! Who among them will become the new PCW Tag Team Champions?”

The crowd hung on every word, their anticipation building like static before a storm. Suave had them in the palm of his hand.

Colleen Crowder, having rolled her eyes enough times to risk vertigo, finally seized her moment to interject. The sarcastic slant of her lips belied the confidence in her voice as she grabbed a spare microphone.

“Suave, darling, save your breath and their cheers,” she snapped, the acerbic edge to her tone cutting through the din. “We all know when the dust settles, the Blue Wave will sweep the division clean. It’s inevitable and all the wishful thinking on your and the American Patriots’ part.”

A mix of boos and applause greeted her statement, but Colleen remained unfazed, her gaze fixed on the hard camera with unshakable conviction. She leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other, a smug expression playing across her features.

“Mark my words, viewers at home,” she continued, addressing the audience beyond the confines of the arena, “no matter which teams step into this squared circle, the winds are blowing, and just like in 2020 they’re colored deep, deep blue.”

Johnny Suave shot Colleen a look that was part disbelief and part begrudging respect for her audacity. The dance between their contrasting ideologies was as choreographed as any match, each parry and thrust delivered with the precision of practiced performers.

Green World Order Promo A chorus of cheers and jeers erupted as ‘The Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee emerged, bathed in a spotlight that painted him in shades of earthy green. Flanked by his compatriots PeaceNick, GreenPete, and Peta from PETA, they strode down the ramp with the confidence of warriors on a crusade.

“Greenville, South Carolina! The heart of the resistance beats within your chest!” Lee’s voice was a force of nature, resonating throughout the arena as he seized the mic with both hands. His gaze swept across the crowd—a tempestuous sea of faces, some eager, others skeptical. “We are here not just to win matches, but to change the core of everything you know about PCW. I stand before you as the true progressive champion PCW doesn’t just want… but needs!”

Lee’s declaration set off a wave of reaction, the audience divided yet captivated by his impassioned oratory. He stood in the center of the ring, a beacon of change, his GWO allies nodding with solemn agreement.

Then, amidst the cacophony, Peta from PETA locked eyes with an unsuspecting fan mid-bite of a juicy hamburger. A sneer contorted her face as she pointed an accusatory finger, her voice slicing through the commotion. “You there, with the beefy atrocity! Can’t you see the pain, the suffering, you’re endorsing with every bite?”

PeaceNick glided forward, arms outstretched as if embracing the world, his mantra resounding like a gentle river over the rocks of discord. “Peace to all beings, harmony to the planet. Reject the violence on your plates, embrace a life of compassion and sustainability.”

The message weaved through the crowd, striking chords of unity and discord alike. Some nodded thoughtfully, pondering the implications, while others shook their heads, clinging to their carnivorous convictions.

In this theater of conflict, every action, every word carried the weight of ideology—a battleground where the struggle for hearts and minds was as fierce as any grapple or grudge match. As the chant of “Green World Order” began to swell, it was clear that the battle lines had been drawn, not just on the canvas, but in the very soul of PCW.

The restless energy of the crowd pivoted sharply, as if yanked by an invisible chain, when the arena erupted into a raucous cheer as ‘Not Just Intolerable… not just unbearable… he is JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!’ burst onto the stage, a whirlwind of charisma and defiance, with ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, his stoic presence a stark contrast, right at his side.

“Here we go,” Suave bellowed, barely heard over the din, “these are two of the men who were there at the beginning in 2005… two men who helped put the ‘extreme’ in PCW’s Extreme Political TV!”

Sufferable, microphone in hand, didn’t miss a beat, his voice cutting through the clamor like a hot knife through butter. “Listen up, GWO! You think you’re the change PCW needs?” His sneer was palpable. “I’m the original game changer, I’m a former PCW champions, and I’m here to claim what’s mine- the first title shot!”

Colleen Crowder leaned back, her gaze flickering between the GWO and the originals, a smirk playing on her lips. “Really? Our narrative states that going back to the past isn’t progressing to the future.”

Lee’s face contorted, a snarl replacing the serene smile as the GWO bristled behind him, PeaceNick’s chants drowned by the deafening approval for the Originals. Peta from PETA, her earlier fervor turned to frustration, crossed her arms in a huff, glaring at the duo who dared to challenge their green crusade.

Before the tension could snap, a figure emerged from the shadows, his robes flowing behind him like dark smoke—Professor McCarthy, clutching the ‘good book of politically correct things, thoughts, and views’ against his chest like a shield. With the Flock (Codee Pink, Emily S. List, The Young Jerks, and The Legion of Anti-Fascists aka…LOAF) backing him up, Professor McCarthy’s eyes were alight with dogmatic fervor.

“Disciples of correctness!” McCarthy thundered, his voice echoing with the zeal of a televangelist. “Behold the doctrine that shall purify PCW!” He raised the good book high, its cover catching the light and casting reflections across the awed faces of his followers.

“Is it me, or did things just take a turn for the spiritual?” Suave quipped, his eyebrow arching in amusement.

“Please,” Colleen scoffed, waving a dismissive hand, “This has nothing to do about spirituality or religion. This is about conformity and doing the right things.”

The GWO and the Flock, united by a common enemy, stepped forward, the lines between environmental activism and political correctness blurring as they stood shoulder to shoulder, their opposition to Sufferable and Escondido a living symbol of their syncretic alliance.

Sufferable smirked, bouncing on the balls of his feet, ready for whatever sermon or smackdown came his way. And in that moment, the stage was set—a showdown of ideologies, with the PCW ring as its pulpit and battleground.

The Flock, in a wave of zealous conviction, surged forward without warning. Justin Sufferable’s smirk evaporated into the harsh reality of fists and boots as they collided with his chiseled physique. “No Frills” Chris Escondido, ever the stalwart ally, leapt to the defense of his comrade, his own fists cutting through the air like hammers seeking nails.

“HOLY CRAP!” Johnny Suave’s voice pierced the rising cacophony, an echo of the ECW days of old. “The Flock has descended upon Sufferable and Escondido like a biblical plague!”

“Johnny, this has nothing to do with religion,” Colleen Crowder corrected him, her political disdain coloring her commentary even amidst the chaos.

“Green World Order” members stood back-to-back with McCarthy’s disciples, their previous squabbles forgotten in the face of a common adversary. The alliance between environmental fervor and politically correct dogma was a sight to behold—a bizarre coalition formed in the squared circle of PCW.

An unholy union of greenery and correctness trying to impose their will on the PCW Originals!” Suave continued, his voice reaching fever pitch.

“Will” was hardly the word—as Sufferable staggered under a rain of blows, his indomitable spirit kept him vertical. Escondido, for all his lack of frills, was a whirlwind, his every move an instinctive counter to the coordinated assault from the Green World Order and The Flock.

“Can you believe this?” Suave yelled, his disbelief shared by the raucous crowd. “Sufferable and Escondido are standing their ground against the relentless tide of McCarthyism and eco-extremism!”

But the numbers game was against them. As Escondido took a knee, wincing from a particularly effective strike from PeaceNick, McCarthy stepped forward, his ‘good book’ now wielded like a weapon of mass indoctrination.

“Heretics of the ring,” McCarthy bellowed, his voice dripping with a mix of triumph and condemnation. “We will shout you and any resistance to progress down”

“Isn’t that ironic?” Suave mused, a sardonic smile on his lips. “A man preaching about progress with the subtlety of an inquisition. This conflict is far from over. Sufferable and Escondido have been shouted down tonight, but if I know anything about these PCW originals, it’s that they’ll come back fighting harder than ever!”

“It’s over, Johnny,” Colleen said. “That’s our banner headline.”

As the scene closed, the image of Sufferable and Escondido, defiant even in defeat, lingered long after the cameras cut away, leaving the fans clamoring for what was to come in this epic clash of principles and personas.

MATCH #1-AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION TAG MATCH: Main Street USA vs. The Bi-Partisan Dream Team vs. The Deplorables The air in the arena was thick with anticipation, a heady mix of sweat and excitement that clung to the skin like the heavy humidity of a midwestern summer. In the center of it all stood Kimber Marshall, her voice echoing through the charged atmosphere as she announced the American Heartland Coalition’s three-way tag match.

“Introducing first, representing the very soul of America’s heartland,” Kimber boomed, her tone rich with enthusiasm, “Farmer John Deer and Ken Worth—American Trucker… Main Street USA!”

The crowd erupted as the first chords of a twangy country anthem blared through the speakers. The duo emerged from the back, their boots thumping against the ramp with each purposeful stride. Farmer John, clad in overalls and a straw hat, waved to the cheering masses, his face etched with the weathered lines of countless seasons under the sun. Beside him, Ken Worth, with his trucker cap and denim vest, exuded the rugged charisma of a man who’d spent a lifetime crisscrossing the highways that stitched the fabric of this great nation together.

“If that entrance doesn’t scream ‘apple pie and Fourth of July,’!” Johnny Suave’s voice cut through the noise from the announcer’s table, a hint of wry amusement in his tone. “I don’t know what does!”

As Main Street USA soaked in the adoration, their opponents made their entrance.

“Our next team are The Deplorables… Kimber continued. “’Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan!”

McAvay raised his red solo cup high, a symbol of rowdy celebration, while Bryan’s eyes gleamed with the fervor of populist rhetoric.

“And the final team… RINO-The Wonk Machine… Blue Dog D… They are the Bi-Partisan Dream Team!

RINO-The Wonk Machine, a towering figure in a suit jacket tailored to accommodate his muscular frame, strode out beside Blue Dog D, whose moderate blue attire clashed yet complemented his partner’s conservative red. Together, they were a walking, grappling representation of the ongoing struggle to find common ground in the political ring.

“RINO and Blue Dog are about as different as you can get,” Suave noted, leaning into his microphone. “But they are trying to show that they can set aside their differences to work together for this match.”

In the squared circle, these six men faced off, the tension palpable as the bell rang. The audience leaned forward, anticipating the clash of ideologies and wrestling styles about to unfold.

The bell sounded and the clang of steel chair against bone reverberated through the arena as the American Heartland Coalition’s three-way tag match spiraled into a frenzy of ECW-style carnage. Farmer John Deer, his flannel shirt now torn to reveal a tapestry of scars from matches past, swung a haymaker that found its mark on RINO-The Wonk Machine’s jaw. The political powerhouse stumbled back, nearly tripping over a campaign sign turned weapon.

“This match is under way!” Johnny Suave’s voice boomed over the chaos, adrenaline pumping through his veins like the pulsing beat of a rally chant. “The winner will represent the American Heartland Coalition in next week’s PCW Tag Team title match!”

While Main Street USA and The Deplorables exchanged blows with the gritty determination of a filibuster gone rogue, The Bi-Partisan Dream Team struggled to adapt to the no-holds-barred landscape. Blue Dog D aimed for diplomacy, extending a hand to Ken Worth-American Trucker, only to receive a resounding slap of a kendo stick across the knuckles. Cooperation, it seemed, was off the table—unless you counted the one being set up in the corner by ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay.

“That’s not going to work,” Suave quipped, wincing at the sight of RINO-The Wonk Machine trying to reason with a turnbuckle before being viciously irish-whipped into it by William Daniels Bryan. “These two can’t seem to agree on a defense strategy, let alone an offense.”

As the match descended into bedlam, the selection process of the American Heartland Coalition became clear – survival of the fittest, or rather, the most extreme.

“Uh-oh, Blue Dog’s caught in a red state… of emergency!” Suave’s voice cracked as Blue Dog D dangled precariously over the ropes, teetering on the edge of elimination. The bipartisan efforts had crumbled under the weight of partisanship, quite literally, as The Deplorables shoved him over the top rope, his fall broken by the remnants of a shattered placard promoting unity.

“RINO’s trying to mount a comeback, but oh! It’s a superkick party courtesy of Farmer John Deer, and RINO is down for the count!” Suave narrated, as the referee slid into position and slapped the mat. “One…two…three! And there goes The Bi-Partisan Dream Team!”

ELIMINATED: The Bi-Partisan Dream Team

The canvas quaked under the relentless brawling of Main Street USA, their denim and flannel a stark contrast to the polished boots and spandex that littered the ring. The crowd roared as Farmer John Deer hoisted ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay up on his broad shoulders, setting him up for what seemed like an inevitable elimination.

“Farmer John’s got McAvay high above the cornfields now!” Suave bellowed into his microphone.

Ken Worth-American Trucker was busy tangling with ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, trading blows with the ferocity of a trucker defending his last cup of joe. The two behemoths collided with the force of clashing ideologies, neither willing to give an inch.

“Ken Worth is driving it home, but wait—Bryan counters!” Suave’s play-by-play mixed metaphors were as wild as the action itself.

Just then, disaster struck for Main Street USA. In a moment of distraction, Deer’s grip faltered, and McAvay slipped free, landing behind the unsuspecting farmer. With a swift kick to the knee that echoed throughout the arena, McAvay brought the giant down to size.

” That’s gotta hurt!” Suave winced audibly.

The end came swiftly. McAvay and Bryan joined forces, pummeling Farmer John with a series of tactical strikes before launching him over the ropes with a double clothesline—a spectacle that left the audience gasping.

“Main Street USA has been officially closed for business tonight,” Suave declared somberly as Ken Worth, seeing his partner toppled, fought on valiantly but ultimately succumbed to the same fate, eliminated by a devastating Prairie Powerbomb courtesy of Bryan.

The Deplorables now stood unopposed, their grins as wide as the political divide they represented. The referee raised their hands in victory, signaling their advance to the four-way tag title match.

WINNER: The Deplorables (‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan

“McAvay and Bryan have done it! They’ve secured their spot in the match! Suave said, while Colleen Crowder, clutching her notes like a lifeline, struggled to hide her dismay.

“Another dark day for the PCW,” Colleen muttered, her voice tinged with defeat as she cast a sorrowful glance toward the fallen heroes of Main Street USA. “They helped Donald Trump defeat Hillary Clinton at Extreme Election Night 2016 and prevented the first eve woman PCW CEO.”

“Controversial or not, The Deplorables are heading to Extreme Election Night with momentum on their side,” Suave countered, trying to maintain neutrality despite the charged atmosphere.

As the victors celebrated, the resonating boos from half the crowd mingled with cheers from the other, mirroring a nation divided, while Colleen’s expression spoke volumes without uttering another word.

“Well, the American Heartland Coalition has chosen their team… by earning it in the ring,” Suave said. “Let’s see who the Progressive Alliance choose.”

Progressive Alliance Choose Their Tag Team The camera cut from the raucous ringside to the calmer, but no less tense, backstage area. Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer stood before a backdrop emblazoned with the Progressive Alliance logo, their expressions solemn yet determined as they prepared to make their announcement.

“Tonight,” Jeffries began, his voice steady and commanding, “we introduce a tag team that embodies our core values and our vision for a sustainable future. Ladies and gentlemen, The Green World Order’s GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee!”

Schumer stepped forward, adding gravitas to the moment. “These warriors of environmental justice are more than wrestlers; they are champions of the progressive left, ready to grapple with the climate crisis and pin down inequality.”

As if on cue, GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee burst into view, their wrestling attire a vibrant palette of green with ‘GWO’ emblazoned on the front. Their entrance was less about theatrics and more a statement of purpose, their eyes locked forward, determination etched onto their faces.

“WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!” Brock Cole Lee bellowed again.

“Great,” ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave quipped, his tone dripping with cynicism as he watched the proceedings on a monitor. “Just what we need, eco-warriors in spandex preaching cap and trade between suplexes.”

“Johnny, don’t be so cynical,” Colleen Crowder chided, her voice laced with reproach. “They represent a vital message and a crucial part of our political spectrum. It’s about time the ring reflected the diversity of thought that shapes our world.”

“Sure, Colleen,” Suave sighed, rolling his eyes. “I’ll sleep better knowing that GreenPete hit a frog splash for climate change.”

“Mark my words, Suave, they’re going to make waves,” Colleen retorted, unfazed by his sarcasm.

In the midst of this back-and-forth, Professor McCarthy emerged from the shadows, clutching an aged tome to his chest—the ‘good book’ of wrestling lore. He studied the new tag team with a gleam in his eye, nodding approvingly as though recognizing the dawn of a new era.

“Indeed,” he murmured, loud enough for only a few nearby to hear. “Let the ideological conflict commence.”

As the chapter closed, the air buzzed with not just the anticipation of a wrestling match, but the undercurrents of a brewing political storm, with the ring as its tempestuous epicenter.

The Sports Entertainment Corporation Choose Their Tag Team The camera panned across the packed arena, capturing the sea of rabid fans waving their signs and chanting.

“The Voice of PCW” Johnny Suave leaned into his microphone, his voice cutting through the din like a razor. “Let’s not waste any more time and send it to the back where the power brokers of the Sports Entertainment Corporation are currently stationed. Believe me, you don’t want to miss what they have to say!”

As the feed switched to the SEC’s lavishly decorated headquarters, the air of expectancy was palpable even through the screen. Corporate Sports(entertainment) Programming Nation reporter Rebecca Morris stood poised, her smile polished and gleaming under the studio lights. “This is Rebecca Morris, bringing you the exclusive scoop straight from the heart of the SEC. The atmosphere here is electric, folks! Today, we’re expecting an announcement that will change the landscape of professional wrestling as we know it.”

At that moment, Triple R swaggered into frame, arrogance exuding from every pore of his tailored suit. The ‘New Sports Entertainment Genius,’ with a sneer permanently etched on his face, stepped up to the mic, his disdain for the American Heartland Coalition as thick as the gold chain around his neck.

“Look, I’m going to make this short because frankly, my genius shouldn’t be wasted on talking about bottom-feeders,” Triple R began, his voice dripping with contempt. “The inclusion of the American Heartland Coalition in our Championship four-way match is like letting a team from the Mid-American Conference or, heaven forbid, the Sun Belt Conference play in the College Football Playoff. It’s a joke! But don’t worry, I’ve got the solution.”

He paused, letting the suspense hang in the air before continuing. “I present to you, the tag team that represents everything the SEC stands for—bought and paid for with NIL money, the finest investment in sports entertainment today: Gator Bates and The Alabama Kid!”

The camera zoomed in on Triple R’s smug grin as he motioned off-screen. Two towering behemoths stepped into view, their muscular forms barely contained by their suits, their eyes cold and calculating. Gator Bates cracked his knuckles menacingly while The Alabama Kid tipped his cowboy hat with a smirk.

“Rest assured, these two men are the embodiment of corporate excellence. They’re not just wrestlers; they’re assets. And come next week, they’ll show everyone why the SEC always—always—comes out on top.” Triple R’s laughter echoed as the scene faded to black, leaving the audience buzzing with anticipation for the clash of titans set to unfold.

The American Patriots Choose Their Tag Team The camera cut to the gritty confines of the American Patriots’ dressing room, walls plastered with faded American flags and posters of wrestling legends. Mike Johnson was pacing back and forth like a caged eagle, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. Across from him, Mitch McConnell sat hunched over a weathered oak desk, littered with papers and a red phone that looked like it came straight out of the Cold War era.

“Mike, we’ve got to get our heads in the game,” McConnell grumbled, pushing up his glasses with a finger as he poured over graphs and charts. “The donors expect results, and the SEC—they’re playing hardball.”

Johnson stopped pacing, turning sharply on his heel to face McConnell. “Mitch, we didn’t claw our way up to the top by buckling under pressure. We consult, we strategize, but when that bell rings, it’s about the fight in the dog, not the size of the checkbook.”

McConnell nodded, picking up the red phone and murmuring into it for a moment before hanging up. “Consultation complete. Our backers trust our judgment, and they’ve greenlit our choices.”

“Good,” Johnson cracked his knuckles, eyes alight with the fire of competition. “Because I’ve got just the pair who can handle anything those corporate cronies throw at us.”

With a dramatic flair, Johnson flipped open a leather-bound folder, revealing two glossy 8x10s: ‘The Original PCW Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes, draped in Old Glory, posing with an unwavering gaze; and ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, his chiseled jaw set in a look of defiance against the glitter of Tinseltown.

“Starz N. Stripes, he’s got the spirit of ’76 coursing through his veins. The kid’s a natural, a symbol of what we stand for—grit, determination, and the American dream,” said Johnson, pointing at the photo with a sense of pride.

“Stone Chism,” McConnell added, his voice taking on a rare note of admiration. “A former big Hollywood man who isn’t swayed by the bright lights and false promises any longer. He sticks to his guns, and that’s what we need.”

Their debate had been intense, each move calculated with the precision of a chess grandmaster. They understood the implications of their decision—the pride of the American Patriots hung in the balance. It wasn’t just about winning; it was about sending a message that couldn’t be bought, a testament to their resilience.

In the shadows of the dressing room, the air crackled with the electricity of the impending battle. This was more than a match; this was political warfare in the squared circle, and the stakes had never been higher.

The camera panned back to the ringside where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave stood, microphone in hand, his signature leather jacket reflecting the lights above. With a gleam in his eye and a smirk that suggested he knew secrets yet to unfold, Suave leaned into the mic, the crowd’s roar swelling behind him like a tempest.

“PCW fans!” he bellowed, his voice echoing through the arena. “If you thought tonight was extreme, brace yourselves for next week’s political pandemonium! The SEC, those power-suited titans of the squared circle, will step into the ring against the American Patriots’ very own Starz N. Stripes and Stone Chism!”

The mere mention of the match-up sparked a frenzy among the fans, their chants reverberating off the walls. Suave continued, riding the wave of excitement.

“But that’s not all, oh no! This is a four-way dance of democracy—adding to the fray, we’ve got the Green World Order, the Progressive Alliance’s eco-warriors, ready to recycle some pain!”

He paused, letting the audience digest the gravity of what was coming, his hands gesturing as if he were painting the battle before it even began.

“And let’s not forget The Deplorables, the American Heartland Coalition’s rough-and-tumble grapplers who are no strangers to controversy,” Suave added, almost whispering now, as if sharing confidential intel with each member of the audience.

“Next week, these factions will clash in a tag title match where ideologies will be body-slammed and convictions will be put into a sharpshooter submission. It’s going to be a no-holds-barred brawl for the soul of PCW, and only the strongest beliefs will survive!”

His words hung heavy in the air, the crowd on the edge of their seats, each fan with their allegiance, each one hungry for the spectacle to come.

“All right. Trump…”

Colleen booed.

“…versus Nikki Haley…”

Colleen cheered.

“…is next!” Suave declared, his voice reaching a crescendo. “Can Donald Trump deliver the knockout blow tonight? We’ll find out right now.”

MAIN EVENT-AMERICAN PATRIOTS-SOUTH CAROLINA MATCH: Donald Trump vs. Nikki Haley The arena pulsated with the kind of fervor you’d expect from a high-stakes PCW showdown, the air thick with anticipation, as if the very fabric of the political wrestling world hung in the balance. From the back, the former governor of South Carolina, Nikki Haley, emerged into the spotlight. Her gait was one of unyielding confidence, each stride resonating with purpose as she made her way to the squared circle.

“Here comes Nikki Haley!” barked Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW, his voice cutting through the roar of the crowd like a steel chair smacking against the unforgiving concrete floor. “Look at this, folks! She’s got backers from both the Progressive Alliance and some of the staunchest American Patriots walking alongside her. Now that’s a coalition!”

Indeed, flanking Haley were figures who would normally be at loggerheads, united behind her in a display of solidarity that was as unsettling as it was mesmerizing. The unlikely entourage was a testament to the magnetic pull of her political prowess, a cross-pollination of ideologies all marching to the beat of her drum.

The audience was a mosaic of anticipation, eyes darting to the entrance ramp, breaths held, waiting for the other shoe to drop. And drop it did, with the bombastic flair only one man could muster.

“Wait for it…” Suave teased, his voice barely audible over the mounting buzz.

And then, he burst onto the scene—Donald Trump, or should we say, the Trumpinator, clad in the iconic garb of the silver screen cyborg, complete with faux metal adornments and an exaggerated swagger. As he made his entrance, the red seats erupted into a cacophony of cheers and chants, a tidal wave of excitement crashing down upon the arena.

“Good God Almighty!” Suave hollered. “The former CEO is in the house, and he’s dressed like the Terminator! This is classic Trump, always knowing how to make an entrance and work this crowd!”

Trump raised his arms, soaking in the adulation, a smirk etched across his face as he locked eyes with Haley across the ring. It was a moment that transcended the spectacle of wrestling—it was a narrative spun out of the very threads of American politics, a satire playing out in real-time.

“The stage is set,” Suave said. “Donald Trump versus Nikki Haley. And this match is under war.

The bell clanged, cutting through the charged atmosphere like a verdict from on high. Nikki Haley squared her shoulders, eyes fixed on the looming figure across the ring, as the audience leaned forward, every breath held in collective anticipation.

As if summoned by some primal instinct, Trump lunged forward, the persona of the Trumpinator now fully animated within the confines of the squared circle. He moved with a brashness that belied his years, a titan reawakened, each stomp towards Haley echoing a campaign promise of old.

“Trump is bringing the power game early!” Suave roared, narrating the unfolding drama. “He’s not here to debate; he’s here to dominate!”

With the agility of a seasoned pro-wrestler, Trump scooped up a steel-folding chair, its cold gleam reflecting the arena’s lights and the hunger for victory in his eyes. Haley dodged the first swing, but Trump was relentless, his offense as aggressive as his politics, each strike a headline, each grunt a soundbite.

Not to be outdone, Haley rolled away from a crushing blow and sprang to her feet, her hands finding the grip of a Singapore cane hidden under the ring. The weapon sang through the air, meeting Trump’s chair with a clangorous symphony of defiance.

“Look at Haley! She’s not backing down from the Trumpinator!” Suave’s commentary matched the frenzy of the crowd.

The two political gladiators clashed amidst the sea of signs and slogans, their weapons an extension of their wills. Every impact sent shockwaves through the stands, the thuds and crashes a percussive backdrop to this most American spectacle.

Haley managed a strike that sent Trump reeling into the ropes, the momentum shifting like a swing state’s vote. But the Trumpinator was not to be underestimated; he rebounded with a clothesline that stopped Haley’s rally cold, a reminder of the raw power behind the showman’s facade.

“Trump’s showing why he’s the headliner, the main event!” Suave’s voice was hoarse with awe. “He’s got the resilience of a political campaign that just won’t quit!”

Amidst the sound and fury, the real narrative emerged—not merely a contest of strength and skill, but a metaphorical melee, a wrestling embodiment of the body politic itself. As steel met cane, as flesh met canvas, the true face of Political Championship Wrestling was revealed: unyielding, outlandish, and utterly captivating.

The raucous crowd’s energy surged as the Trumpinator, with calculated precision and a showman’s flair, began to orchestrate the downfall of Nikki Haley. The fans, a motley crew of die-hard political wrestling aficionados, were on their feet, chanting his name in a rhythmic cadence that reverberated off the arena walls like a war drum.

“Trump! Trump! Trump!”

Each chant was punctuated by another deft maneuver from the former PCW CEO—now donning steel-toed boots, he landed a punishing stomp to Haley’s midsection, leaving her gasping for air. Johnny Suave’s voice boomed over the PA system, matching the intensity of the crowd, “He’s not just building walls; he’s building momentum!”

The diverse sea of supporters had become one entity, united in their anticipation of the spectacle unfolding before them. The Progressive Alliance members, some still clutching their ‘Haley for Change’ signs, could only watch in dismay as their champion struggled under the relentless assault. The American Patriots, however, roared their approval as Trump flaunted his dominance, a gloat etched onto his face.

“Look at him, folks!” Suave cried out, his commentary slicing through the cacophony. “He’s playing this ring like a chessboard, and right now, he’s got Haley in check!”

The atmosphere thickened with tension as Trump, sensing the end was near, backed into the corner of the ring. He began to shadow box, throwing jabs into the air, each mock punch drawing a wave of excitement from the spectators. They knew what was coming—the Trumpinator’s famous finishing move—and they braced themselves for the climax of this political satire made flesh.

“Here it comes!” Suave’s voice reached a fever pitch. “The Art of the Deal Drop!”

Trump charged forward like a bull, his eyes locked on the staggering Haley. With a swift motion, he scooped her up and slammed her down with an earth-shattering powerbomb, his signature move executed with devastating precision. The referee slid into position, hand raised, ready to tally the decisive pinfall.

“One! Two! Three!”

The bell clanged, echoing the finality of the moment. The crowd exploded, half in jubilation, half in shock, the sound nearly peeling the paint from the arena’s rafters. Trump stood victorious, arms raised, basking in the adulation of his fervent supporters while the red seats thundered with applause.

“Can you believe it?!” Suave was nearly breathless, the sweat on his brow visible even from the cheap seats. “Trump has done it again, he secures the win with the Art of the Deal Drop!”

As the Trumpinator soaked in his victory, the crowd’s reaction spoke volumes about the state of PCW—a world where politics and pro wrestling collided in a spectacle so extreme, so surreal, that it could only exist in the imagination of its most passionate fans.

WINNER: Donald Trump

The roar of the crowd still reverberated through the arena as Nikki Haley’s form lay grounded, her chest heaving with the effort of breath. Yet, even in defeat, a spark kindled behind her eyes—a flame that no slam to the mat could extinguish. With gritted teeth and a warrior’s resolve, she forced herself onto trembling knees.

“Boy, oh boy, folks,” Johnny Suave was quick to remark, his voice a mix of awe and anticipation. “You can knock Haley down, but you cannot keep her out. This is far from over!”

The noise began to swell again, not for the victor this time, but for the vanquished. As Haley staggered to her feet, her hand stretched out, reaching for something beyond the ropes. A stagehand, empathizing with her unspoken plea, passed her a microphone. The gesture wasn’t lost on the audience; they hushed, sensing that the next round was about to commence—not with fists or steel chairs, but with words as weapons.

“PCW may have seen me hit the mat tonight,” Haley’s voice cut through the silence, clear and strong despite the physical toll. The camera zoomed in, capturing the fiery determination etched on her face. “But let me assure you—I am not out of the fight. Not by a long shot.”

A mixed chorus rose from the stands. The Progressive Alliance supporters looked on with respect, nodding at her indomitable spirit. Meanwhile, the American Patriots, still riding the high of Trump’s victory, jeered and booed, a cacophony of dissent trying to drown out her promise.

“Listen up!” Haley continued, her tone rising above the din. “This match was but one battle in a war that rages on. And I vow, here before all of you, that I will not rest until the ideals we cherish are championed once more in the ring of PCW!”

“Wow, what a statement from Nikki Haley!” Suave’s voice was almost reverent. “She might have lost the bout, but she’s certainly not conceding the war!”

In the stands, the faces of PCW fans were a mosaic of emotion—admiration, skepticism, anger, hope. The Progressive Alliance leaders exchanged looks that spoke volumes—there was much to be done, new strategies to devise. And among the red seats, the American Patriots’ leaders stood impassive, their expressions inscrutable, yet one could sense the cogs turning, calculating their next move in this grand chess game.

As Haley exited the ring, the tension in the air was palpable, electric with the charge of conflict yet unresolved. The chants and cheers evolved into a single, pulsating entity—a living thing that hinted at the battles ahead.

The screen faded to black, the sounds of an arena divided echoing into the night.

RESULTS: -AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION 3-WAY MATCH: The Deplorables defeated The Bi-Partisan Dream Team and Main Street USA -MAIN EVENT-AMERICAN PATRIOT’S SOUTH CAROLINA MATCH: Donald Trump defeated Nikki Haley

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2/17-PCW Extreme Political TV

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Saturday February 17th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Charlie Blackwell Promo “PCW… PCW… PCW”

Tonight’s show started in the center of the ring where the new PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) stood, a triumphant grin plastered across his face as he clutched the PCW Title belt against his chest.

“Welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV,” ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave’s voice boomed as the crowd roared in approval, a sea of hardworking faces looking up at the new PCW champion with adoration and hope. “Last week, Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition defeated the American Patriots’s Kirk Walstreit and the Progressive Alliance’s ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels to win the PCW title.”

“Last week,” Blackwell began, his voice booming over the din, “we showed that the American Heartland isn’t just flyover country. It’s the heartbeat of this nation!” Beside him, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay raised a plastic cup high, as if toasting the masses while ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan nodded sagely, his eyes reflecting the fire of shared conviction.

“Corporate cronies and big money special interests thought they could buy or politic their way to this championship,” Blackwell continued, gesturing to Main Street USA’s Farmer John Deer, American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith, Ken Worth-American Trucker, and Mike the Mechanic who stood firm, a symbol of every small town main drag across the country. “But last week, we showed to everyone that the spirit of the people ain’t for sale!”

“PCW… PCW… PCW…”

Just then, the lights dimmed and a discordant guitar riff broke through the cheers. Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy, flanked by his eclectic group of intellectuals dubbed ‘The Flock,’ sauntered down the ramp. They had the air of disdainful scholars about to lecture the unwashed masses.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Aw crap,” Suave’s voice said over the vociferous boos from the crap. “What the hell does Professor McCarthy want?

“Well,” Colleen Crowder’s voice popped in. The reporter from ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ couldn’t wait to jump in. “We should listen to whatever Professor McCarthy says.”

“Charlie Blackwell,” Professor McCarthy sneered, adjusting his glasses with deliberate condescension. “Your so-called victory is nothing but a populist sham!”

The crowd booed, popcorn and insults flying towards the professor as he climbed into the ring. His Flock formed a barrier between him and Blackwell.

“Your title reign,” McCarthy declared, “is as illegitimate as the pseudo-science denying climate change! PCW needs a champion that represents progressive values… like the ones…” McCarthy holds up his ‘good book.’ “… in this book. Not some antiquated heartland hogwash!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Charlie Blackwell pinned Kirk Walstreit fair and square,” Suave pointed out. “And Walstreit pinned “Mr. Hollywood” Kevin Daniels.”

McCarthy and his Flock glared at Blackwell from ringside, the tension in the ring crackling like static. The fans were on their feet, baying for the confrontation as the ideological clash teetered on the brink of becoming physical.

“Professor McCarthy,” Blackwell retorted, his grip tightening on the title belt. “You can prattle on about progress all you want, but here in the PCW, we fight our battles in the ring, not in the echo chambers of social media. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels got pinned by Kirk Walstreit. I pinned Walstreit. Game… set… match.”

“Right… just like I said a couple minutes ago,” Suave agreed.

“That just proves that you are biased towards the American Heartland Coalition,” pointed out Colleen.

Suave fired back. “That’s funny seeing as the overwhelming amount of reporters seem to lean farther to the left than most regular people do.”

McCarthy’s lips curled into a smug smile, as though he relished the role of intellectual agitator. “You do not speak for the people because the people are stupid and need intelligent and enlightened people… such as myself… to tell them what they should think, speak, and believe.”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“Nope,” Suave said. “They’re not buying it.

“Oh, there will be a fight, Mr. Blackwell,” McCarthy sputtered. “And when we do, it’ll be a battle I assure you, you’re ill-equipped to win. You are not the champion PCW needs and you are not my champion.”

McCarthy climbed up… with a little help… onto the ring apron and faced the crowd.

“Listen up, good people!” McCarthy’s voice boomed, each word dripping with condescension. “Right now, I want you all to take out your phones and type in the following… hashtag- not my PCW champion!”

A murmur rippled through the crowd, a mix of confusion and disinterest.

Johnny Suave’s voice crackled as he leaned into his mic, ��Folks, it seems the good professor is trying to start a social media revolution… but these fans aren’t buying what he’s selling.”

In the sea of spectators, not a single screen lit up with the fervor McCarthy had envisioned. Their collective shrug was a silent rebuke to his call to arms. The disconnect was palpable- McCarthy’s digital decree lost in translation to the salt-of-the-earth crowd before him.

“Well they should,” Colleen said. “He’s a Professor and he’s smarter than they are.”

Frustration flushed McCarthy’s cheeks crimson as he absorbed the silence. His gaze swept over the crowd, searching for even a hint of compliance, only to find none. The hashtag revolution would not be televised, at least not tonight.

“Your silence speaks volumes!” McCarthy spat, the pitch of his voice rising as he pointed an accusing finger at Blackwell and his allies in the ring. “It simply proves that you’re all complicit in the suppression of progress. You stand against me; you stand against truth and intellectual supremacy!”

“Profession McCarthy,” Blackwell shot back, steadfast and unflinching. “First off, we don’t need a lecture on what to cheer or chant. We don’t need you or anyone else to tell us what to say, what to think, and what to believe.”

McCarthy shakes his head no.

“Oh yes,” Blackwell continued. “We speak our minds—and right now, we’re all telling you that you’re full of *BLEEP*!”

Laughter erupted from the crowd, a chorus of solidarity with their heartland hero.

McCarthy, undeterred, pressed on, his voice reaching a fever pitch. “I will not be silenced! I am the voice of enlightenment, and you will hear me! WE WILL SHOUT YOU ALL DOWN!” McCarthy’s tirade continued, his words becoming white noise against the backdrop of jeers. It was political theater at its most absurd, a satire played out in spandex and sweat. The professor’s attempts to mute dissenting voices only served to amplify them, his authoritarian streak laid bare for all to see.

Cut back to the broadcast table.

Opening: “Hello everyone and welcome to PCW’s Extreme Political TV,” Johnny Suave’s voice boomed, as electric as a live wire, through the speakers. “I’m Johnny Suave, and on tonight’s program, Sports Entertainment returns to PCW as the Sports Entertainment Corporation will be in action tonight. It’s one of PCW’s long running feuds… Sports Entertainment versus political wrestling and tonight the SEC will take it to the extreme once again. Also, PCW Owner Dawn McGill has a big announcement she will make tonight. With us as always… Colleen Crowder from ‘‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News.’”

“Thanks, Johnny,” Colleen began, her tone dripping with disappointment, much like the way ink bleeds on a biased op-ed piece. “I wish you wouldn’t keep putting it like that…. but let’s talk about that fast count that robbed ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels of his fair chance last week. It’s as if due process was thrown out of the ring along with any semblance of justice!”

Suave filled in the blanks. “Let’s go back to the end of last week’s PCW Extreme Political TV and the PCW title match won by the American Heartland Coalition’s Charlie Blackwell.”

The camera cut away from their tense exchange, focusing on the video screen where a replay video clip rolled.

(Last Week on PCW Extreme Political TV- PCW Title Match): Kirk Walstreit, the embodiment of Wall Street greed in spandex, was seen rolling up Daniels for what many called a controversial pin.

“Look at that!” Colleen barked, pointing an accusing finger at the screen. “Daniels represents the glitz and glitter of Big Hollywood and he’s rolled up like an enhancement talent? Where’s the accountability?”

“Controversial to you. Not to others,” Suave retorted, trying to maintain some semblance of neutrality despite the politically charged air that filled the arena.

The clip continued…

Kirk Walstreit climbed to the top turnbuckle, muscles tensing, his face a mask of determination and capitalist fervor. Below him lay Charlie Blackwell, the man of the people, sprawled on the canvas – a representation of the American Heartland Coalition.

“Here we go!” Suave shouted.

Walstreit took flight, soaring through the air with the confidence of a corporate bailout. But as gravity took hold, pulling him down toward his target, the crowd held its collective breath. In a twist of fate, Blackwell rolled away at the last possible second, leaving Walstreit to crash and burn upon the empty mat.

“But Walstreit missed big time and Blackwell capitalized!” Suave narrated with gusto as the American Heartland representative covered the fallen Patriot. “One… Two… Three!”

The arena exploded in a cacophony of triumph.

“And as you can see, Charlie Blackwell did it! He is the new PCW Champion!” Suave exclaimed, his voice echoing the euphoria that swept through every row and seat. “I know what Colleen’s news narrative is about the match. Let’s go backstage to see what “Mr. Hollywood” Kevin Daniels has to say about what happened.”

“Mr. Hollywood” Kevin Daniels Segment Cut to backstage where the mood was a stark contrast to the electric atmosphere that pulsed through the arena. The concrete walls did little to muffle the roar of the crowd watching the replay of the PCW title match from last week. But in this quiet corner, defeat hung heavy in the air. “Mr. Hollywood” Kevin Daniels sat slumped on a steel chair, his face a mask of frustration and sweat, a lone figure silhouetted against the flicker of fluorescent lights.

“Hey, tough break out there,” came a voice, as smooth and comforting as a chart-topping ballad. “Pop Superstar” Taylor Switt approached, her presence instantly brightening the dimly lit space. The pop superstar, clad in glittering attire that rivaled the championship belt for shine, extended a manicured hand and helped Daniels to his feet.

Daniels holds up his cell phone… chock full of condolences and commiseration from the Hollywood A-List crowd. “That’s what everyone keeps saying.”

“Should’ve been your night, Kev,” she said, her words more soothing than any melody she’d ever sung. With a sympathetic tilt of her head, she handed him a bottled water, the droplets beading on its surface like tiny diamonds in her grasp.

Daniels sighed, accepting the bottle. “I’m the embodiment of Hollywood and that slimy Kirk Walstreit pins me? And Charlie Blackwell is the PCW champion?”

Switt nodded, a knowing glint in her eye that told of battles fought in spotlight and shadow alike. “You’ll get ’em next time,” she assured, her confidence infectious. “The people love an underdog story—especially when it’s set to a killer soundtrack.”

Cut back to the broadcast table…

“Kevin Daniels vows with Taylor Switt by his side to win the PCW title from Charlie Blackwell,” Suave recapped.

“And he should,” Colleen stated. “Daniels would be the perfect PCW champion.”

“Well, we heard from Kevin Daniels,” Suave stepped back in, “let’s hear what the New Wolf of Wall Street Kirk Walstreit has to say about what happened last week on PCW.”

Cut to…

Corporate World Segment In the opulent confines of Corporate World, manager Gordon Guyko stood flanked by gleaming mahogany and cold steel. The scent of money was as palpable as the aftershave that clung to his jaw. On the wall-mounted screen, the replay of Walstreit’s missed opportunity looped endlessly, each failure punctuating the silence.

“Unacceptable,” Guyko spat, his voice slicing through the plush carpeted expanse. His advisors, a cadre of suits as sharp as their strategic minds, shifted uncomfortably. Not even the luxurious leather chairs could cushion the blow of their wrestler’s defeat.

“Charlie Blackwell thinks he’s won one for the little guy?” A sneer twisted Guyko’s lips as he turned back to the screen, where Blackwell’s victory played on mute. “He’s about to learn that in this business, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight—it’s the depth of the corporate pockets backing it. We’ll use every tool at our disposal,” Guyko continued, his gaze cutting to each advisor in turn. “Super PACs, lobbyists, market manipulation—you name it. We’ll launch a hostile takeover of that title belt if we have to.”

“Consider it done, Mr. Guyko,” an advisor affirmed, the rest nodding in agreement, their loyalty as bought and paid for as the legislation they lobbied for.

“Good.” Guyko’s gaze lingered on Walstreit’s image frozen at the apex of his leap—a moment before gravity and fate pulled him down. “We’ll take back what’s ours. After all, greed is good…” Guyko grins. “Greed is really, really good.”

And with a final, decisive gesture, he swiped the screen dark, the chapter closing on a promise of corporate retribution.

Cut to…

MATCH #1: The Sports Entertainment Corporation (The SEC) vs. ‘The World’s Least Dangerous Man’ John Wack and Bob Zardoz The arena was engulfed in a cacophony of boos and jeers as The Alabama Kid and Gator Bates of the SEC (Sports Entertainment Corporation) made their grand entrance to the ring led by their ostentatious leader, ‘The Sports Entertainment Genius’ Triple R. Clad in a tailored suit, Triple R stood tall with his broad shoulders and chiseled jawline. His golden watch glinted in the spotlight, drawing attention to his confident smirk. The audience’s hatred only fueled their egos, evident in the way they held themselves with utmost superiority. Their attire, adorned with gaudy gems and flashy logos, glittered under the bright lights of the arena. The sound of their confident footsteps echoed through the stadium like a drumroll, building anticipation for the upcoming match.

Suave’s voice spoke over the entrance, “The Sports Entertainment Corporation have returned to PCW and…yes… they’ve brought along their official media organization.”

Following closely behind them was their faithful ally, the Corporate Sports Programming Nation or CSPN, armed with cameras to capture every moment of the SEC’s reign of dominance. Mark Splitter- CEO of the Corporate Sports-entertainment Programming Nation, Reese Anderson- always dressed in an expensive suit and tie and coifs some impressive television hair (think Dan Patrick in his prime), and Rebecca Morris- blonde with her hair in a bun and wears a business suit with heels.

Suave continued, “Already waiting in the ring are ‘The World’s Least Dangerous Man’ John Wack and his partner Bob Zardoz.”

Wack dressed like the John Wick movie character while Zardoz donned an outfit reminiscent of the iconic 1970s Sean Connery movie character.

“Let’s go to Kimber Marshall for the introductions,” Suave said, a hush fell over the crowd as ring announcer Kimber Marshall stepped forward.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Kimber Marshall said. “Our first match is one fall. Already in the ring, the team of ‘The World’s Least Dangerous Man’ John Wack and his partner Bob Zardoz!”

The crowd erupted in cheers as the large men flexed their muscles.

“And their opponents…”

The bright lights of the arena illuminated the two opposing teams as they made their way to the ring. In the blue corner, accompanied by the self-proclaimed ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Triple R, stood the SEC with Gator Bates and The Alabama Kid at their side. A chorus of boos greeted them as they confidently smirked their way forward.

The referee cleared the ring of the CSPN camera people and called for the bell. The anticipation in the air was palpable as the crowd waited for the clash between these rival teams.

“All right, here we go,” Suave announced excitedly. “The SEC versus John Wack and Bob Zardoz.”

As the first bell rang out, a tumultuous whirlwind of high-octane action erupted on the wrestling mat. Both teams traded lightning-fast moves, showcasing their signature flashy maneuvers and leaving the crowd in awe. The SEC’s synchronized flips and spins were met with equal force by John Wack and Bob Zardoz, who responded with power slams and technical wrestling skills.

“Wack and Zardoz are holding their own,” Suave exclaimed.

But as the match progressed, it became apparent that the SEC’s smugness and disregard for rules knew

no bounds. They resorted to underhanded tactics and cheap shots, utilizing illegal double-team maneuvers to gain an advantage over their opponents. The once-neutral crowd now booed and jeered at the SEC’s unsportsmanlike behavior, their voices echoing throughout the arena as they rooted for Wack and Zardoz to overcome the odds.

Undeterred by the mounting pressure, John Wack stood his ground and refused to back down. With a surge of adrenaline and unwavering determination, he launched a counterattack against the SEC. His movements were fluid and precise, each strike and acrobatic maneuver executed with pinpoint accuracy. The audience erupted into a frenzy of cheers and chants, their energy fueling John and his partner in their fight for victory.

The crowd watched in disbelief as ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Triple R made his move, sensing the momentum shifting in their favor. With a sly grin, he interfered in the match, causing chaos and confusion for both the referee and the audience. As The Alabama Kid delivered a vicious low blow to Bob Zardoz, the crowd erupted in outrage, booing and shouting at the blatant cheating tactics.

But things only got worse as Bates entered the ring with a steel-folding chair in hand. The crowd’s anger turned to horrified gasps as he struck Zardoz with full force, sending him crashing to the mat. The sound of metal meeting flesh echoed throughout the arena as Bates continued to pummel Zardoz with the chair.

With Zardoz now helpless and injured, The Alabama Kid and Bates took advantage of the distraction and executed their finishing move- a deadly double-team maneuver that left Zardoz motionless on the ground.

As The SEC members prepared for their inevitable victory, John Wack tried desperately to intervene and stop the pinfall. But his efforts were thwarted by another member of The SEC, leaving him unable to stop what was about to happen next.

As the referee’s hand slapped the mat for the third time, declaring The SEC as the winners of the match, a wave of disappointment washed over the crowd. Boos and jeers erupted from all corners of the arena, signaling their disapproval of what they just witnessed.

But to The SEC, it was just another successful night in their quest for domination. They reveled in the chaos and hatred that surrounded them, taunting and gloating over their victory like true villains. Bates and The Alabama Kid stood tall in the ring, basking in their ill-gotten glory.

Triple R Promo As the commotion settled down, ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Triple R grabbed a microphone and made his way into the ring. He smirked at the booing audience before raising the mic to his lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself,” he began arrogantly. “I am Triple R, the new leader of The SEC and mastermind behind their countless victories. And tonight, we have once again proved why we are the most dominant faction in all of PCW.”

The crowd continued to boo but Triple R paid them no mind. He went on to boast about The SEC’s recent string of victories against other top factions in PCW – the American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and even their rivals within The SEC itself.

“Our success knows no boundaries because we have something that no one else has – unlimited resources,” he declared smugly. “We have NIL money pouring in left and right, we have money flowing in from our big contract with CSPN, and that allows us to buy only the best talent like Bates and The Alabama Kid here. And together with our fellow Power 3 factions, we are an unstoppable force.”

He paused for a moment to soak in the boos and chants of “cheaters” from the crowd before continuing with his promo.

“So go ahead and hate us all you want, because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. The SEC will reign supreme in PCW, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it,” he boasted with a sinister grin.

The crowd’s disapproval only seemed to fuel Triple R’s arrogance as he dropped the mic and exited the ring with his fellow SEC members, leaving behind a trail of chaos and resentment.

Dawn McGill Speaks Dawn McGill made her grand entrance into the PCW arena.

“Oh no no… why?” Colleen bemoaned as the blinding lights of camera flashes highlighting every curve and dip of her stunning figure as the tamer pictures from her recent Henhouse expose flashed on the video screen.

“Tonight, Dawn is here to make a big announcement,” Suave explained to her. “And unlike other wrestling shows, when we say we have a big announcement… that means we have a BIG announcement.”

Dawn strutted confidently in stiletto boots, her long blonde hair teased and flowing on her shoulders like a golden waterfall. All eyes were on her as she stepped through the ropes and into the ring, microphone in hand, dressed in a skin-tight outfit that left little to the imagination. The audience’s voices hushed in awe and desire as they waited for her to speak.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” McGill’s voice boomed through the speakers, causing a few fans to cover their ears. “I have a major announcement to make here tonight.”

The crowd leaned forward in their seats, eager to hear what she had to say.

Colleen?

“Ugh.”

“I’m pleased and excited to announce tonight that PCW will be crowning new tag team champions in the near future!” McGill exclaimed, raising her arms in excitement.

The audience erupted into cheers and whistles, buzzing with excitement over this news. They had been waiting for new champions to be crowned for months now.

“Now I know you’re all dying to know who will compete for these titles,” McGill continued, a sly smile spreading across her face.

The crowd roared even louder at this tease, their eagerness hanging in the air. They were already speculating and placing bets on which teams would come out on top.

“The American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, The SEC, and… the American Heartland Coalition,” McGill announced with a dramatic pause. “Each team will select their own representatives to compete in the tournament and a drawing will take place to determine which team faces off against whom! The tournament will start in two weeks!”

The crowd roared again as Dawn took her leave and headed back up the ramp.

“PCW is going to crown tag team champions,” Suave recapped, “in a tag team tournament!”

“Look, I’m not crazy about the SEC being included in this,” Colleen commented. “But again… the American Heartland Coalition? Should one of their wrestlers qualify for this type of tournament? I would argue that they don’t qualify.”

“I see you went to the state of Colorado school of determining who and who can’t be involved in this type of contest,” Suave cracked. “What’s next? Kangaroo courts… like a third-world country… the Russian judicial system… and the New York courts?”

“You take that back!” Colleen spat back.

Colleen’s righteous indignation only grows when…

Donald Trump Promo The energy in the arena was electric as Kimber Marshall stood in the ring. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she began, “get ready for the one and only former CEO of PCW…Donald Trump!”

“Son of a bitch!” Colleen growled.

The supporters “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” chant is sung to the tune of the Imperial March:

“TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP”

A golden spotlight shone down on him as he walked out, his hair perfectly coiffed and his suit exuding power. The people in the blue seats booed him unmercifully. Most of the people in the red seats cheered for him vociferously.

Donald Trump stood in the ring and stopped in front of a giant screen with Nikki Haley’s image displayed.

“You see this? This is what I’m up against next week,” Trump roared into the microphone. “Nikki Haley, let me tell you something. You may think you have what it takes to defeat me, but the fact is, you’re nothing compared to me.”

The crowd erupted into cheers and boos as Trump continued to taunt his opponent. “You may be a former governor, but I am a former President. And that carries a lot more weight. We all know who the real winner will be when we face off in South Carolina.”

He raised his hands triumphantly as the crowd chanted his name. “So Nikki, keep dreaming about your big victory because when it comes down to it, nobody knows how to win better than me. Remember that!” The sound of his voice echoed through the arena as he made his exit, leaving the audience buzzing with anticipation for their upcoming showdown.

Cut back to Suave at the broadcast desk. “Next week. The big showdown. Donald Trump versus Nikki Haley in South Carolina. Will it be Haley’s last chance?”

“God I hope not,” Colleen said. “Nikki Haley is the last chance for the American Patriots to do the right thing and stop Trump.”

“Because the gross misuse of the American judicial system doesn’t seem to be doing the job,” Suave sniped. But before Colleen could respond, Suave continued. “Let’s go to a commercial break.”

Felcher and Felcher Commercial The video screen flickered to life, revealing a scene of suburban tranquility shattered by a man slipping on a banana peel, cartoonishly flailing as he plummeted toward the ground. The words “Felcher and Felcher” blazoned across the screen in bold, gaudy font.

“Have you ever been victimized by rogue fruit peels?” a voice boomed, dripping with mock concern. “Don’t just get mad, get litigious!”

In strode Felcher and Felcher, sporting suits so sharp they could slice through legal briefs. Each held an oversized gavel, swinging it with the finesse of a pro wrestler delivering a knockout blow.

“Here at Felcher and Felcher,” the first ‘attorney’ declared, sitting in the front seat of a very expensive Tesla vehicle, “we believe in justice for you… the people, no matter how trivial the affront! If something bad happens to you, someone’s at fault and they should pay…”

“Your neighbor’s dog looked at you funny?” the other chimed in, his eyebrows arching comically while standing in front of his multi-million dollar mansion. “That’s emotional distress! Ka-ching!”

“Spilled coffee on your own lap because you forgot it was hot?” continued the first, his grin wide enough to shame a Cheshire cat while lounging on his large, white yacht somewhere out on the ocean. “Clearly, someone else’s fault!”

“Call us now,” they exclaimed in unison, pointing directly at the camera, from their exclusive VIP seats at a local sports arena, “and we’ll fight to pin the blame on anyone but you!”

A catchy jingle played, a parody of patriotism wrapped in a commercial ditty: “Felcher and Felcher – remember, if you’re having a bad day… someone needs to pay!”

The requisite low and fast-speaking voice at the end spewed out, “Preferably large corporations and insurance companies with deep pockets!”

Nikki Haley Promo The arena was electric, the smell of sweat and excitement lingering in the air. The audience cheered and waved their signs as former Ambassador Nikki Haley made her way to the ring.

“Well, we heard from Donald Trump earlier in the show,” Suave said, “now it’s Nikki Haley’s turn.”

She stood tall and poised, exuding confidence and determination with every step. Her fiery gaze fixed on the camera, she began to speak.

“Listen up, PCW fans!” Her voice boomed through the speakers, commanding attention. “In just one week, I will go head-to-head with a man who claims to embody strength and resilience, but has only brought shame and division to our country.”

“You preach, girl,” Colleen cried out.

The crowd erupted into cheers and chants of “Haley! Haley!” as she delivered scathing remarks about her opponent, President Trump. She raised her hand to silence them and continued.

“I support PCW because it represents everything that America should stand for: unity, sportsmanship, and above all, integrity.” Her words struck a chord with her supporters in the audience, who roared their approval. “So Mr. Trump, you better bring your A-game next week, because I will not back down.” She stared directly into the camera now, a fierce glint in her eye. “And when we face off in South Carolina, may the best woman win.”

As she dropped the mic with a confident smirk, Haley exited the ring to thunderous applause. Her message was clear – she was ready to take on any challenge and fight for what she believed in. And the crowd knew that she would do it with grace and determination, representing everything that PCW stood for.

Suave hyped the match. “Next week. Trump versus Haley in South Carolina. Will this be the end of Nikki Haley? Or will she somehow pull off what right now seems to be a very unlikely win.”

“I hope so,” Colleen said. “Because I don’t think I could take four more years of Donald Trump as the CEO of PCW if by some miracle he defeats Joe Biden at Extreme Election Night 2024.”

SPECIAL MAIN EVENT The arena’s air crackled with electricity, a tangible buzz that vibrated through the sea of fans who had come to witness an epic showdown. At the heart of this pulsating energy stood ‘The Voice of PCW,’ Johnny Suave, microphone in hand and a gleam in his eye that spoke of a night destined for the history books.

“It’s main event time!” Johnny’s voice boomed through the arena, igniting a roar from the crowd akin to thunder rolling across the heavens. He paced the ring, each step punctuated by the chants and cheers of the audience. “Tonight, we have a special… main… event for you.”

He leaned on the ropes, surveying the sea of signs and painted faces, every supporter ready to explode with fervor. “We have the PCW Originals—Gary Locke and Earl Loade, the Raving Rednecks, ready to lock horns with fellow PCW Originals… the audacious and ever-defiant The Dixie Chucks!”

“Let’s go to the ring,” he continued, his voice laced with the kind of passion that could only be found within the squared circle. “Kimber, take it away!”

As the anticipation reached its zenith, Kimber Marshall, the embodiment of vitality, burst onto the scene. Her entrance was a spectacle, her vibrant attire reflecting the lights in a kaleidoscope of color. She high-fived fans as she made her way down the aisle, every gesture sending waves of excitement crashing over the audience.

“PCW, are you ready?” she bellowed, and the response was a cacophony of approval that might as well have been an earthquake. “I said, ARE YOU READY?” The second call was met with an even louder affirmation, the kind of sound that reverberated in your chest and left no room for doubt.

“Then let’s get this party started!” Kimber exclaimed, her infectious enthusiasm sweeping through the arena like a tidal wave, leaving no one untouched by the sheer magnitude of the moment.

The arena’s energy surged, crackling like static as the opening riff of Toby Keith’s “Who’s Your Daddy?” ripped through the speakers. Spectators leaped to their feet, a sea of frenetic anticipation, as the PCW Originals, Gary Locke and Earl Loade—the ‘Raving Rednecks’—burst through the curtains.

Locke, his face an etched map of battles won and lost, wore a grin wide enough to swallow the room. Beside him, Loade—his partner in mayhem—tipped his hat to the crowd, the brim shadowing eyes alight with adrenaline. The duo strutted down the ramp, slapping hands with fans who reached out like disciples for a touch of wrestling royalty.

“Introducing first… they are the RAVING REDNECKS! Gary Locke. Earl Loade… LOCKE AND LOADE! ”

The song’s chorus hit a crescendo, guitars wailing, as the ‘Raving Rednecks’ climbed the steel steps and ducked between the ropes. They stood center-ring, basking in the roars that filled the space—a tribute to years of sweat and blood spilt within these hallowed ropes.

Then, as if on cue, the music faded, and the raucous arena fell into a reverence that was almost tangible. Locke and Loade removed their battered cowboy hats, heads bowed, and the PCW community united in a solemn moment of silence.

“Fans across the spectrum,” Kimber’s voice now carried a somber weight, “we honor a legend tonight. Toby Keith’s spirit is right here with us, in the heart of PCW.”

Locke’s jaw clenched, a muscle twitching as he fought the emotions threatening to break surface. Beside him, Loade’s gaze lifted skyward, a silent nod to the country music titan whose anthems had been the soundtrack to countless PCW showdowns. In this hush, the politics of the ring were set aside; here, they were family, honoring one of their own.

As the silence broke and the crowd gradually resumed its fever pitch, it was clear—this was more than just a match. It was a testament to the enduring legacy of those who’d paved the way, a song of pride,

Amidst the lingering echoes of tribute, Kimber Marshall’s voice sliced through the charged atmosphere, her tone a harmonious blend of anticipation and authority.

“And their opponents!” she announced, her words igniting the crowd like flint to kindling. “They’re back and they’re STILL NOT READY TO MAKE NICE! Chuck-atalie… Chuck-mily… and Chuck-artie. Welcome… The Dixie Chucks!”

The audience, still riding the emotional high of reverence, now found themselves pivoting to an altogether different vibration. As Kimber’s declaration set the stage, three figures emerged, their shadows stretching long under the brash lights. Each stride carried the weight of PCW tradition, but their attire sang a discordant tune—a flamboyant parody of country glam and unapologetic kitsch.

Chuck-atalie led the trio, his wig an exaggerated cascade of blonde curls that bounced with every step, framing a smirk as calculated as it was provocative. Flanking him were Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie, equally adorned in caricatured wigs, their expressions a blend of mischief and defiance. They sauntered to the ring, the sequins on their costumes catching the light, throwing sparks into the eyes of the beholders.

As they ascended the steps, the crowd’s response was a cacophony—jeers mingled with cheers, the collective voice of PCW a tumultuous symphony of emotions. But before the din could settle, Chuck-atalie snatched the microphone from Kimber’s outstretched hand, his movements sharp and deliberate.

“Listen up, you political pawns and power-chord patriots!” he bellowed, his gaze sweeping the masses like a general surveying his troops. “We’ve shed our old skin, torn the labels, and trampled the stereotype. We ain’t your chuckling Chucks anymore.”

He paused, allowing the words to sink in, to etch themselves into the narrative of the night.

“From this moment forth,” Chuck-atalie continued, the microphone crackling under the force of his conviction, “we stand united, not as the Dixie Chucks—no, we’ve outgrown that moniker. We are simply, fiercely, unapologetically… ‘The Chucks!'”

A roar erupted, the PCW universe divided yet bound by the spectacle before them, the ring a crucible where satire clashed with sincerity. In this arena, the absurdity of politics wrestled with the rawness of emotion, each slam and shout a metaphor for the battles beyond the ropes.

“Here we go!” Suave said as the clang of the bell reverberated through the arena like a declaration of war, and without hesitation, the combatants launched themselves into the fray. Gary Locke, his eyes alight with the fire of a man who’d seen every dirty trick in the book, reached beneath the ring and produced a steel-folding chair. The metallic sheen caught the spotlights as he swung it with precision and nailed Chuck-artie with the chair.

“HOLY CRAP!” Johnny Suave’s voice boomed.

The Chucks were not to be outdone in this debate of devastation. Chuck-atalie retaliated, wielding a chair with the finesse of a political spin doctor, deflecting blows and landing a resounding crack against Locke’s back, echoing the sound of campaign promises being broken.

“Chuck-atalie swings back with a vengeance!” shouted Suave, narrating each impact with the zeal of a scandal breaking news story.

The crowd was a living entity, pulsating with every strike, their roars rising and falling with the tide of battle. They watched as Chuck-mily, with the agility of a maverick, dodged a wild swing from Loade, only to counter with a swift jab to the gut, using the chair and cutting off his opponent before they could make their point.

And then, tables entered the narrative. The Raving Rednecks set up the wooden tables but The Chucks had other plans.

It was Chuck-artie, his wig askew yet his spirit unwavering, who seized the moment. With a rebel yell, he charged at Loade, sending both of them crashing through a table with the impact of a game-changing ballot recount.

“HOLY CRAP!” Suave declared, as splinters flew like confetti at a victory parade.

The crowd cheered, on its feet, their collective voice chanting “PCW… PCW… PCW…”

The resounding crack of splintered wood still echoed through the arena as Gary Locke, his face a mask of determination and wild abandon, hoisted Chuck-mily high into the air. The crowd’s collective gasp was the only warning before Locke brought him crashing down onto the remnants of a table with a thunderous powerbomb.

“Locke drives Chuck-mily through the table!” Suave bellowed, his voice capturing the raw energy of every body slam and dropkick.

Earl Loade, meanwhile, locked eyes with Chuck-atalie. They circled each other.. With a sudden burst, they collided in the center of the ring. A flurry of punches flew. Loade ducked a wild swing and countered with a ferocious clothesline that sent Chuck-atalie spinning through the air.

“Vicious clothesline by Gary Loade!” Suave howled, his commentary sharp as the action unfolding.

The PCW faithful were on their feet, their cheers and jeers mingling in a cacophony of pure wrestling fervor. Every member of both teams was now fully engaged in the brawl, their moves a dizzying dance of political satire. High-flying maneuvers from the top ropes saw wrestlers soaring through the air aiming to land with impact.

“Locke going to the air… NO!” Suave quipped, as Chuck-artie narrowly dodged a missile dropkick from Locke.

The intensity escalated, the boundaries of the ring no longer able to contain the ferocity of the match. Bodies spilled over the ropes and out onto the floor. The concrete below became an extension of the battleground, a place where allegiances were forgotten and only survival mattered.

“Looks like we’re taking this debate outside the chamber, folks!” Suave exclaimed as the fight raged on around the ringside area.

Chairs were swung but the only response was the sound of metal against flesh. Tables, once standing proud under the bright lights, were repurposed into makeshift platforms for launching aerial assaults. Each wrestler used the environment to their advantage – the barricades served as both shields and spears, the ring posts as strategic strongholds.

“Chuck-atalie just got introduced to the steel steps…and it wasn’t a cordial greeting!” Suave’s words painted the scene with the vividness of an action-packed graphic novel.

Amidst the chaos, the Chucks and the Raving Rednecks fought not just for victory, but for the very soul of the PCW. It was more than a match; it was a statement, a raucous referendum on extreme wrestling itself.

“Can you feel the electricity? Can you feel the democracy of destruction?” Suave roared, the question rhetorical, the answer written on the faces of every fan in attendance.

The referee’s hand came down in a relentless rhythm, slicing through the thick tension that hung over the ringside like a fog of war. “One! Two! Three!” His voice was lost amidst the cacophony of jeers and cheers, but his message was clear as day – get back in the ring or kiss the match goodbye.

“Four! Five! Six!” The Raving Rednecks, limbs entangled with The Chucks, grappled on the concrete. It was a no-man’s land outside the ropes, a battleground where every suplex was a filibuster, every chokehold a debate that wouldn’t concede.

“Seven! Eight!” Johnny Suave’s voice thundered over the PA system, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is political pandemonium at its finest! Will they make it?”

“Nine!” The crowd held their breath, a collective gasp ready to burst forth from their lips. The wrestlers clawed toward the squared circle, their efforts echoing the climactic push of a campaign trail.

“Ten!” The bell tolled, not just ending the match, but also sounding the alarm for a decision that left no victor. A draw. The bell’s chime resonated like a gavel bringing order back into session, declaring both teams counted out.

The audience exploded with emotion, a mix of frustration and awe at the spectacle they had just witnessed. Some fans threw up their hands in disbelief, others stood and applauded, recognizing the sacrifice laid out before them.

Both teams continued to brawl on the floor.

“All right everyone,” Suave’s voice brought everyone back to reality, “Next week, the South Carolina showdown between Trump and Haley will be a clash of titans you won’t want to miss!”

As the wrestlers collected their bruised egos and battered bodies, making their way backstage, Suave signed off with his trademark flair, “This is Johnny Suave, saying stay extreme, stay vocal, and most importantly – stay tuned for more PCW action!”

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 months

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2/10-Extreme Political TV from Nevada

Outside the Arena The crisp Nevada air crackled with an electrifying tension, charged by the sold-out arena and the frenzy of fans stampeding at the gates. It was a spectacle unlike any other – PCW Extreme Political TV, where the worlds of politics and wrestling collided in a chaos-fueled show. The crowd roared with anticipation, their chants and chaotic sign-waving creating a deafening cacophony.

But beyond the reach of the floodlights, a strange standoff unfolded. A group of supporters, ticketless but determined, had gathered at the entrance, clamoring to be let in.

Progressive Alliance leader Hakeem Jeffries pleaded with passion to PCW Owner Dawn McGill, gesturing towards the hopeful crowd behind him.

Hakeem Jeffries (PA-NY): “Let them in! This is the people’s event,”

Beside him stood Dick Durbin, nodding fervently in agreement.

Dick Durbin (PA-IL): It’s about inclusion, Dawn. We can’t turn away our supporters.

Dawn McGill, the statuesque figure with medium-length blonde hair that glinted under the security lights, remained unmoved. Her no-nonsense gaze swept over the Progressive Alliance duo before settling on the throng of ticketless enthusiasts.

PCW Owner Dawn McGill: Gentlemen, I understand your concerns, but rules are rules. We’re at capacity. Fire codes, safety – you know how this works.

Mike Johnson (AP-LA) Absolutely not!

Johnson’s voice cut through the conversation like a steel chair to the back.

Mike Johnson: If they wanted in, they should’ve bought tickets like everyone else.

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell (AP-KY) watched from a distance with his signature thin smile plastered on his face. Ever the calculated strategist, he unrolled a parchment-like document and pointed to a section highlighted in compromise yellow.

Mitch McConnell: Perhaps there’s a middle ground. We let a few in, give them standing room by the concession stands. It’ll look good for PR, and we avoid a riot.

Mike Johnson: That’s a terrible idea.

Dawn considered the offer, weighing the potential chaos against the goodwill gesture. As the standoff continued, tension thickened in the air and all eyes turned to the heart of the arena, where the video screen flickered to life with a replay of past events. The mood was tense, and no one knew what would happen next in this high-stakes game of politics and entertainment.

Political Championship Wrestling Carson City Carnage Carson City, Nevada Saturday February 10th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Opening: The raucous cheers of the audience echoed through the arena, building to a deafening crescendo.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave: Welcome, viewers, to PCW Extreme Political TV! We are live from Carson City, Nevada, where earlier tonight we witnessed Joe Biden’s ruthless take-down of his two challengers in a show of sheer force and power.

Cameras panned over the roaring crowd, their faces lit up with anticipation as they waited for the video screen to come on. Suddenly, the picture appeared showing figure on stage, shrouded in a black cloak, his dark presence casting a mysterious aura over the entire arena. It was Joe Biden himself, his intense gaze fixed on his opponents as he stepped into the ring.

Marianne Williamson, known for her fiery spirit and unwavering determination, squared off against Biden, but even her passion was no match for what came next. With a fierce intensity in his eyes, Biden unleashed beams of pure incendiary force, reducing Williamson’s challenge to ashes.

Johnny Suave: Unbelievable!

The crowd gasped and cheered in disbelief at Biden’s newfound powers.

Johnny Suave: It seems like there’s no one who can stand up to him tonight!

But just as all hope seemed lost for Biden’s opponents, Dean Phillips made a split-second decision and bolted from the ring with survival overtaking valor. The audience watched in shock and exhilaration as Phillips ducked and weaved through the backstage area, narrowly escaping the wrath of Biden’s laser-eyed onslaught.

Johnny Suave: Phillips may have saved his skin tonight, folks. But this political ring is far from forgiving.

As tensions continued to rise in the arena, the video screen shifted.

Johnny Suave: Also tonight, we had another high-stakes bout on the American Patriot’s side featuring Donald Trump and Nikki Haley. Trump loomed over the screen like a colossus, delivering blow after relentless blow to his opponent, his every move met with roars of approval from his die-hard supporters.

Johnny Suave: Donald Trump once again proved why he’s a heavy hitter in this arena.

The footage showed Trump landing a decisive final strike that sent Haley crashing to the mat, defeated but not broken. The audience erupted into cheers and chants, their fervor fueled by the intense competition unfolding before their eyes.

Johnny Suave: Trump secures the win, but folks, let’s not count Haley out just yet,” Johnny concluded, the crowd buzzing with anticipation for what promised to be an ongoing saga of power, pride, and politics in the squared circle.

With the replays setting the stage for more extreme action, the excitement reached a fever pitch. PCW Extreme Political TV was off to a roaring start, and the night had only just begun. The camera zoomed in on the flashy broadcast desk where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave slicked back his hair with a confident flair before addressing the camera. Beside him, Colleen Crowder adjusted her glasses with an air of intellectual superiority, her eyes flicking to the prompter as she prepared to spar with words and interjected with a smirk.

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’: Indeed, Johnny. And tonight, we’ve seen the Supreme CEO of PCW—”

Johnny Suave: CEO of PCW,”

Suave corrected her and rolled his eyes.

Colleen Crowder: Supreme CEO.

Colleen tapped her notes for dramatic effect and emphasis.

Johnny Suave: Mark your calendars because in two weeks, at Columbia Clash Part 2 in South Carolina, we’ll see if Donald Trump can keep his momentum or if Nikki Haley can turn the tides.

Colleen Crowder: Ah, but we the media crafts the saga, Johnny. Haley has more than a puncher’s chance; she’s got the backing of many in the Progressive Alliance. They believe she can dethrone Trump.

Johnny Suave: Sure, until Trump drops out. Then they’ll flip on Haley faster than a pancake on Sunday morning.

The corner of Suave’s mouth twitched upwards to signal the playful yet pointed nature of their banter.

Colleen Crowder: Charming analogy.

Colleen shook her head as they moved on.

Johnny Suave: Anyway, let’s get down to brass tacks! Tonight’s main event is going to be wild one, a slobberknocker of political proportions – we’ve got the Progressive Alliance’s own ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, the American Patriots’s Wall Street wonder Kirk Walstreit, and from the American Heartland Coalition, the everyman’s champion, Charlie Blackwell!

Colleen Crowder: Please, Johnny. The American Heartland Coalition is like a third-party candidate in a two-horse race. They have no business in this match.

Colleen crossed her arms with an air of finality.

Johnny Suave: Disagree there, Colleen. Blackwell’s the wild card that could upset the whole apple cart.

Colleen Crowder: An apple cart that should never have been in the aisle to begin with.

Their good-natured squabbling continued, the tension crackling between them like static before a storm, setting the stage for a night of political pandemonium that would unfold within the squared circle. The PCW faithful roared in the background, ready for the extreme action only PCW could deliver.

Johnny Suave: Let’s cut to the ramp. Here comes ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, decked out like he’s about to walk the red carpet instead of the wrestling mat!

Kevin Daniels/Progressive Alliance Segment The spotlight hit the top of the ramp with the precision of a sniper’s laser as ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels emerged from behind the curtain. His steps were a choreographed strut, each footfall echoing with the calculated arrogance of a man who believed the universe revolved around his tanned and chiseled physique. He was flanked by an entourage that looked plucked from the glossy pages of tabloids—Hollywood elites on loan from their hillside mansions, and the stoic faces of Progressive Alliance leaders, Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer, nodding along to a silent but palpable beat of political clout.

Daniels, slipping into the ring with the ease of a man who’d never known a barrier in his life, snatched a microphone from the corner, his eyes sparkling under the stage lights.

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels: Let’s get one thing straight. This isn’t just a match; it’s a foregone conclusion. With my star power…

Daniels paused to flash a megawatt smile at the camera- his voice was so smooth it could sell ice to Eskimos.

Kevin Daniels: I bring the kind of prestige to the PCW Championship that money can’t buy. I’m not just fighting for a title; I’m elevating it.

Before the crowd could digest his words, a familiar pop tune blared through the speakers, eliciting a mixture of cheers (from the blue seats) and eye-rolls (from the red seats). Sauntering down the ramp with a grace that rivaled royalty was none other than Taylor Switt, her presence commanding the arena like a queen surveying her kingdom.

Johnny Suave: Wowza! If it isn’t Taylor Switt. The latest chart-topping trophy on Mr. Hollywood’s arm.

Colleen Crowder: A future king needs his queen. Kevin Daniels will be the next PCW Champion! And doesn’t Taylor Switt look great?

As she reached the ring, Daniels extended a hand, helping her up with the flourish of a gentleman in a bygone era. They stood together, the epitome of celebrity excess, basking in the flash of camera phones and the roar of the crowd. Daniels wrapped an arm around her slender waist.

Kevin Daniels: Taylor Switt, everyone! Take a good look, because this…

He gestured between them.

Kevin Daniels: … this is what winning looks like. Together, we’re more than just a power couple; we’re the embodiment of victory. And tonight, that victory will be immortalized when I become your undisputed PCW Champion!

Suave chuckled. The Progressive Alliance made their way back up the ramp to the cheers from the blue seats.

Johnny Suave: Kevin Daniels appears confident tonight. But I’m sure the other two wrestlers have something to say about this.

Backstage The crowd’s buzz from the display of ostentatious showmanship by ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels and pop icon Taylor Switt still hung in the air when the mood abruptly shifted. Cutting back stage, Dawn McGill sat exuding a very different kind of confidence—one forged in the fires of small business battles and not the glitzy forges of fame.

In her hand was – a document, its significance clear from the furrowed brow that accompanied her scrutinous gaze… the compromise solution put forth by the American Patriots’s Mitch McConnell with the support of the Progressive Alliance leaders.

She shook her head reading the document as we move forward in the show…

Kirk Walstreit/American Patriots After the exit of the Progressive Alliance, the arena’s energy shifted as the bombastic strains of a money-themed anthem blasted through the speakers. A shower of dollar bills fluttered down from the rafters, each one adorned with the smug grin of ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street’ Kirk Walstreit. He emerged from backstage, flanked by his financial manager Gordon Guyko, throwing air punches with the confidence only obscene wealth could buy.

Johnny Suave: Money talks and bull-walks, ladies and gentlemen!” Johnny Suave’s voice crackled with excitement. “And here comes a man who’s made a career out of that very motto!”

Walstreit sauntered down the ramp, his pinstripe trunks shimmering under the lights, epitomizing the excess of both Wall Street and professional wrestling. Behind him, an underling—a young intern with more ambition than sense—paraded around with a large portrait of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit… Walstreit was also known for his man crush on the ESPN college football analyst.

Johnny Suave: Kirk Walstreit is a PCW original and part of the Corporate World group.

Reaching the squared circle, Walstreit leapt onto the apron, wiping his Italian leather boots on the mat as if to cleanse himself of the common touch. With a flourish, he climbed between the ropes, snatching a microphone from the ring announcer with the same greed he purportedly despised.

“The New Wolf of Wall Street” Kirk Walstreit: PCW Universe! You see before you the epitome of success, the embodiment of the American Dream! I, ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street,’ am not just your next champion by right—I’m your champion by the almighty dollar.

Once again, the crowd erupted into a cacophony of cheers and boos depending on if they sat in the blue seats or the red seats. The polarized reaction fueling Walstreit’s fervor.

Kirk Walstreit: Every stock I touch turns to gold, every investment nets millions, and come tonight, the PCW Championship will be the crown jewel in my portfolio!

He gestured towards the sea of fans.

Kirk Walstreit: I stand with the American Patriots, the true backbone of this country, and with their support, I will clinch the title and usher in an era of unparalleled prosperity!

Gordon Guyko stepped forward, his slick hair reflecting like polished silver, repeating his catchphrase with a sardonic smirk.

Gordon Guyko: And remember, folks. Greed is good. It’s really, really good.

Flashing lights, roaring chants, and the unmistakable scent of adrenaline filled the arena as Johnny Suave adjusted his headset.

Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen, strap yourselves in for a main event that promises to be more explosive than a filibuster in a Senate debate!

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, this isn’t just a match. In one corner, you have ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, strutting down the ramp like he’s on a red carpet, flanked by the creme de la creme of liberal elites, presenting his case to become the new PCW champion and mesmerizing the PCW fans.

Johnny Suave: Daniels has promised to bring progressive change to PCW, one piledriver at a time. He also thinks his chiseled jawline and box-office charm entitle him to the gold.

Colleen Crowder: Entitlement? Is that what we’re calling it now?

Colleen’s eyes rolling so hard they could’ve generated their own news cycle.

Colleen Crowder: I’d say it’s confidence, Johnny. And with good reason. Kevin Daniels is the next PCW champion because he is a star. Now, speaking of entitlement, how about ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street’ Kirk Walstreit? Flaunting his portfolio like it’s the Constitution itself!

Johnny Suave: Ah, Walstreit.

Suave chuckled and reveledg in the discord as much as the action to come.

Johnny Suave: The man who turns everything he touches into cold, hard cash. He believes every pin is a transaction that enriches his legacy and fattens his wallet.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, let’s not ignore the fact that Walstreit’s manager, Gordon Guyko, epitomizes the greed that’s corroding the pillars of our society!

Johnny Suave: To Guyko, his mantra ‘Greed is good. It’s really, really good,’ is a stock ticker marching across the screen of the American Dream!

Colleen Crowder: Or the American Nightmare.

Colleen was clearly unamused by the glibness of her co-commentator. “Tonight, it’s not just flesh and bone colliding in that ring. It’s two diametrically opposed philosophies grappling for supremacy while the whole world watches.”

Johnny Suave: Will it be the glitz and governance of ‘Mr. Hollywood’ or the bullish market brutality of ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street’?

Suave posed dramatically as the crowd’s anticipation reached a fever pitch.

Johnny Suave: Or will it be the wrestler we haven’t heard from yet… the American Heartland Coalition’s Charlie Blackwell.

The Compromise The fluorescent lights of the backstage area cast a harsh glow on the tense faces gathered in a tight circle. Mike Johnson’s jaw was set, his eyes narrow slits of determination as he faced off against the political titans of Mitch McConnell, Hakeem Jeffries, and Dick Durbin. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and anticipation, the kind that precedes a brawl more than a discussion.

Mike Johnson: Now, folks, I’ve got here the so-called ‘compromise’ shoved down our throats—letting unticketed people flood into our shows.

He held the paper aloft, and it fluttered like a flag of defiance.

Mike Johnson: This isn’t just about numbers; it’s about chaos waiting to happen! Security risks that put each and every one of you, and our wrestlers, in harm’s way.

He tore the compromise document in half, letting the pieces fall like confetti of conviction.

Mike Johnson: This sham of a ‘compromise’ won’t stand!

Cheers erupted, a cacophony of support for the woman who was their champion out of the ring—their bastion of order in a world of extreme uncertainties.

McConnell’s lips pressed into a thin line, a visible twitch in his jowls betraying the simmering anger beneath his stoic exterior. Jeffries shook his head, his expression one of exasperation, while Durbin merely crossed his arms, a silent sentinel among the discontent.

Mitch McConnell: Damn it, Johnson. This isn’t some back alley fight; it’s politics. We need to—”

But Johnson cut him off with a sharp wave of his hand, his stance unyielding.

Mike Johnson: No. You want to play politics? Do it without me.

Cut back to Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: Well now. The American Patriot’s Mike Johnson rejects the McConnell compromise on allowing unticketed people into PCW shows.

Colleen Crowder: This is all Donald Trump’s fault. They’re doing this because Trump doesn’t want a compromise solution because it doesn’t help his bid to become the PCW CEO again.

Johnny Suave: Let’s see how that narrative plays, Colleen.

Colleen Crowder: It’s not a narrative. It’s the truth!

Johnny Suave: As you see it.

American Heartland Coalition Segment Transition to the raucous energy of the main stage, where Charlie Blackwell stood tall, a lone cowboy in a ring of political turmoil. His hat cast a shadow over his steely gaze, which swept across the sea of cheering fans. ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay’s Toby Keith button… worn in tribute to the country star who passed away earlier in the week… shimmered under the spotlight beside him, while the ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan nodded sagely, his presence an anchor in the choppy waters of political dissent.

Charlie Blackwell: Good people of the Heartland!

Each word delivered with the fervor of a revivalist preacher.

Charlie Blackwell: They’ll tell ya they’re for the little guy, but look at ’em—puppets dancing on strings pulled by the fat cats and lobbyists!

The crowd roared in approval, a tidal wave of support crashing against the stage. Blackwell tipped his hat back, revealing a grim smile, the mark of a man who knew the power of his words.

Charlie Blackwell: Unlike the Progressive Alliance and those turncoat American Patriots, the American Heartland Coalition is the true voice of you—the plumber, the waitress, the farmer, the ones who keep America runnin’! We don’t bow to special interest groups; we stand tall for freedom, for rights, for the real American dream!

McAvay let out a whoop of agreement, the sound echoing like a battle cry. Bryan raised a fist, his eyes ablaze with the fire of justice. Blackwell paced the stage like a general surveying his troops.

Charlie Blackwell: Y’all know the truth. We’re the beating heart of this country, and we won’t be silenced by slick suits and empty promises. We are the coalition of the free, and tonight, we’re gonna show ’em what that means!

As Blackwell’s speech reached its crescendo, the audience leapt to their feet, chanting and stomping in solidarity.

Johnny Suave: There you have it. The stage is set, the players ready, and the battle lines drawn.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, having a minor third-party faction in the PCW title match dilutes the match and makes it harder for the legitimate wrestlers to win. This should be between the Progressive Alliance and the American Patriots.

Voice: Enough!

Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy emerged like a specter from behind the curtain, flanked by a motley assembly of followers: Codee Pink, Emily S. List, as well as…

Green World Order -Valet: Peta from PETA, GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick The Young Jerks -MGR: Anna- the foul-mouthed sidekick, Zenk Cryger and James Idahola Legion of Anti-Fascists (LOAF)-Ted and Chaz

Their signs were a colorful collage of dissent: “Down with the Coalition” and “The People Should Vote the Right Way and Sit Down and Shut Up!” scrawled across cardboard in bold, angry letters.

Professor McCarthy: Your so-called ‘Coalition’ is nothing but a farce!

Blackwell tipped his cowboy hat back with a defiant tilt of his head,

Charlie Blackwell: Professor McCarthy, seems to me you’ve confused this wrestling ring for your classroom. Around here, we don’t dictate; we debate.

Professor McCarthy: Debate? You’re merely puppets of the disillusioned! Real change comes from us, the enlightened few!

Ray McAvay: Enlightened? More like self-righteous.

Professor McCarthy: The American Heartland Coalition can’t speak for the people because only us… the enlightened… tell the people what they should say, think, and believe.

McCarthy waved the ‘good book’ in his hand- the book that stated what people should say, believe, and think, act.

Professor McCarthy: Any thought, speech, acts that doesn’t conform to what this book says you should think, speak, and do must be shouted down!

Charlie Blackwell: The American Heartland Coalition stands for free speech, Professor. For the right for folks to think for themselves. We don’t shout down—we stand up, we rise up!

Professor McCarthy: YOU CAN’T SAY THAT-

The chanting from the stands drowned out McCarthy’s protests. The people had spoken, their voices a chorus of rugged individualism and unity.

Johnny Suave: Now we’ve heard from all three wrestlers-

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe Professor McCarthy was prevented from speaking. This is not right.

Johnny Suave: Just like it’s wrong when he does it to other people.

Colleen Crowder: That’s not our narrative. Professor McCarty speaks with wisdom and truth.

Suave rolled his eyes.

Johnny Suave: Let’s send it backstage where PCW reporter Woodward Bernstein is.

Joe Biden Press Conference Woodward Bernstein stood backstage in a rumpled coat and hat.

Woodward Bernstein: Thanks Johnny. PCW CEO Joe Biden commented on the breakdown of the compromise to end the stand off on the unticketed people being let into PCW shows issue. Here’s what he had to say…

(Earlier) Joe Biden stood at the podium dressed in a black shroud and black robe and looking menacing.

PCW CEO Joe Biden: (mumbling inaudiably)

Then one of his aides turned him around to make sure he was facing the reporters.

PCW CEO Joe Biden: The American Patriots gave in to Donald Trump and his dangerous, extreme MAGA supporters. If they wanted to secure the PCW arenas we wrestle in, they would have supported this plan.

Woodward Bernstein: But then the fireworks flew when a reporter dared to question his mental sharpness and cognitive ability…

(Earlier in the night…) Biden’s eyes widen and he responds with a sneer.

Joe Biden: Look, here’s the deal—

Woodward Bernstein: …and all hell broke loose.

(Earlier in the night…) From Biden’s eyes squint and then shoot twin beams of incandescent fury, bursts of laser blasts from his eyes indiscriminately peppering the room as reporters ducked for cover.

Woodward Bernstein: Chaos ensued at the emergency press conference but miraculously, no one was hurt but there were a few singed hairs. Back to you Johnny.

Cut back to the broadcast table. ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave, his hair slicked back and suit as sharp as ever, leaned into the microphone with an intensity that could rival the wrestlers themselves. Beside him, Colleen Crowder adjusted her glasses, her reporter’s notepad brimming with the day’s scandalous events.

Johnny Suave: Not a good moment for the incumbent CEO of PCW.

Colleen Crowder: Supreme CEO of PCW, Johnny! But he was right. It was Donald Trump and his extreme MAGA supporters who didn’t want a compromise on this issue because it benefits Trump.

Johnny Suave: Well, we’ll find out at November’s Extreme Election Night 2024 what the people think.

Colleen Crowder: They’ll believe what we tell them to believe because we, the media, sets the tone and tells people what they should/should not be caring about.

Johnny Suave: Right. Okay. It’s time for our main event.

MAIN EVENT-PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Prog. Alliance) vs. Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) In the squared circle stood Kimber Marshall, the ring announcer with poise that could command an army.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, this match will be for the PCW Title!”

Her voice sent the fans erupting into cheers.

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first…

The opening chords of “Do You Hear the People Sing” rumbled over the PA system. Charlie Blackwell emerged, flanked by ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, and a sea of fervent fans.

Kimber Marshall: …and representing the American Heartland Coalition. CHARLIE BLACKWELL!

Blackwell exuded a raw Texan charisma as he led his cohorts over the barricade, rolling into the ring with purposeful swagger.

Kimber continued, unfazed by the uproar.

Kimber Marshall: And representing the American Patriots…

Wall Street suits and conservative banners filled the entrance ramp as Kirk Walstreit strutted out, oozing financial bravado, shaking hands with Republican heavyweights who whispered strategies and stock tips into his ear.

Kimber Marshall: …he is the ‘Real Wolf of Wall Street!’ KIRK WALSTREIT!

Gordon Guyko led Walstreit down the ramp with his aide still brandishing the picture of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.

Kimber Marshall: Finally, wrestling for the Progressive Alliance. ‘MR. HOLLYWOOD!’ KEVIN DANIELS!”

The spotlight hit Daniels as he sauntered down the aisle, arm-in-arm with pop sensation Taylor Switt, their entourage a who’s who of Democrat influencers and silver screen glitterati.

Back at the desk, Suave leaned forward, his eyes reflecting the drama about to unfold.

Johnny Suave: There you have it, folks. Three warriors, three worldviews, one ring. Who will be the next PCW Champion?

Colleen Crowder: Kevin Daniels.

Johnny Suave: We’ll find out soon enough as this match is underway.

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Johnny Suave: Unbelievable! Walstreit rolls Daniels up like a controversial bill on Capitol Hill!

In the stands, faces were painted with the colors of their wrestling allegiances, each one a living emblem of their chosen fighter’s political stance. Some leaped to their feet, fists punching the air in victory as if they themselves had passed legislature, while others slumped back into their seats, disillusioned by the sudden turn of events, their disappointment as palpable as a vetoed amendment.

Johnny Suave: Kirk Walstreit cashes in once more!” Suave continued, his voice reaching fever pitch.

Beside him, Colleen Crowder’s lips pursed with disapproval, her pen poised as though ready to draft a scathing op-ed on the spot. She leaned into her microphone, her voice dripping with satirical edge that could slice through a budget proposal.

Colleen Crowder: Ah yes, the classic American Patriot maneuver. Win at all costs, even if it means rolling up your opponent with the slickness of an offshore tax haven and having the referee fast count to three. It seems the only thing more flexible than Walstreit’s ethics is his spine.

Johnny Suave: Come now, Colleen, that’s just good strategy!”

Colleen scoffed, her eyebrow arched with the finesse of a seasoned debater.

Colleen Crowder: Strategy? If by strategy you mean the kind that gerrymanders the very fabric of our PCW ring, then sure, let’s call it that. But then again, what else can we expect from the American Patriots? Fair play? Please. They’ve been redrawing district lines around the rules since the inception of PCW.

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Walstreit lay sprawled, his chest heaving with the shock of defeat. His eyes, wide with the horror of a hostile takeover, stared blankly up at the blinding lights, reflecting a future where his portfolio was in shambles. The crowd erupted, their voices a cacophony of change, heralding the fall of a titan who had believed he was too big to fail.

Johnny Suave: Can you believe it, folks?!”

Suave’s voice crackled with elation, riding the wave of excitement that crashed over the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: Charlie Blackwell has done it! The American Heartland Coalition stands tall tonight as Blackwell pins the Wall Street Warrior! What did we just witness, Colleen?

Colleen Crowder’s lips tightened, her journalistic instinct wrestling with her political allegiance.

Colleen Crowder: Joyous as this may seem for some, I must question the regulatory oversights that allowed Blackwell such an advantageous position. Was this match fair? Or was it rigged like a primary in a gerrymandered district?

Suave glanced at her, his brow arched high enough to rival the arena’s rafters.

Johnny Suave: Fair? Rigged? This is PCW, Colleen! It’s about the heart, the fight, the spirit of the people! And tonight, the spirit of the American Heartland Coalition soared higher than corporate tax rates under a progressive administration!

Colleen Crowder: Dawn McGill put the American Heartland Coalition in the match. Why would we not be surprised when they win?

Johnny Suave: Because she doesn’t work like that. The people have spoken, and they’re chanting Blackwell’s name. That’s democracy in action, right here in the squared circle!

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, you’d think they’ve just passed universal health care in the ring.

Colleen Crowder’s tone dripped with irony as she surveyed the jubilant scene.

Colleen Crowder: But let’s not put on rose-colored glasses just yet. This celebration is as choreographed as a campaign rally, and we all know how those promises turn out.

Johnny Suave: Choreographed or not, this is real raw emotion pouring out! These aren’t lobbyists in suits; these are fighters with calluses on their hands and hope in their hearts!

The exchange between Suave and Crowder underscored the divide within the PCW, a microcosm of the wider world where each blow traded in the ring mirrored the jousts of political discourse.

And in this moment, as Charlie Blackwell stood victorious, the PCW champion, the arena was ablaze—not with pyrotechnics, but with the fire of a narrative that would burn its way through the annals of PCW history.

Johnny Suave: That’s going to do it for this week. Don’t forget, in two weeks we’ve got the big match between Donald Trump and Nikki Haley will take place at the Columbia Clash Part Two. We’ll see you next week.

The camera swooped down to the canvas, where the American Heartland Coalition had formed a human dam, breaking against the ring with an unstoppable current. McAvay, Bryan, and their comrades swarmed Charlie Blackwell, lifting him onto their shoulders amidst the cacophony of cheers that engulfed the PCW Arena. The people’s champion, hoisted aloft, was an emblem of heartland perseverance—grit over gloss, plowshares beating swords into wrestling gold.

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 months

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2/3-Extreme Political TV-Columbia (SC) Clash-Part One

Outside the arena… …a throng of eager spectators swirled in a chaotic dance, their chants and cheers muted by the heated exchange at the entrance.

PCW Owner Dawn McGill, her medium-length blonde hair catching the sunlight like a beacon of business acumen, stood resolute between the two clashing titans of political theater.

“LET THEM IN… LET THEM IN…”

To her right, Progressive Alliance House Leader Hakeem Jeffries, brandishing his Progressive Alliance badge like a championship belt, argued passionately with hands that cut through the air, his insistent voice a rallying cry to let the masses witness the spectacle within.

Hakeem Jeffries: Everyone deserves to see the show, Dawn!

Jeffries’s gaze locked onto every camera and potential voter in sight. Progressive Alliance Senate Leader Dick Durbin nodded fervently beside him, his eyes alight with the fire of conviction. The supporters of the Progressive Alliance cheered and shouted their support.

“LET THEM IN… LET THEM IN…”

Dawn shook her head in opposition to their plan.

Dawn McGill: Look, I get it…

Her tone firm yet fair, the very image of a woman who had fought tooth and nail for every inch of her empire.

Dawn McGill: …but we’re packed to the rafters! There’s no room and it’s not fair to the people who paid good money to be here tonight to let people in for free.

On the opposing corner, American Patriot House Leader Mike Johnson, flanked by the ever-stoic Senate Leader Mitch McConnell, countered with a sharp southern drawl tinged with the theatrics of a heel wrestler taunting the crowd.

“KEEP THEM OUT… KEEP THEM OUT…”

Mitch McConnell: This is about order, about following the rules. If they don’t have tickets, they don’t get in!

The American Patriots’s supporters also made a lot of noise and together, all the voices crescendoed into a symphony of discord, as the clash of ideologies threatened to erupt into a battle royal right on the concrete. Cameras flashed, capturing every moment for the evening news, while the fans outside chanted, hungry for the drama to unfold.

Political Championship Wrestling Columbia Clash Part One Columbia, South Carolina Taped Saturday February 3rd, 2024 Sunday February 4th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Opening: The buzz of anticipation was tangible as the camera swept over the sea of faces, each fan a testament to PCW’s magnetic pull. They were unified in their chant, “PCW… PCW… PCW!”, a mantra vibrating through the air.

In the center of the ring, under the hot lights and the gaze of thousands, stood ‘The Voice of PCW’, Johnny Suave, microphone in hand. Beside him, Colleen Crowder, her journalist’s eye scanning the crowd for the narrative she would later spin. Suave’s voice boomed through the arena, part carnival barker, part statesman of the squared circle.

Johnny Suave: Welcome one and all to PCW’s Extreme Political TV! I am Johnny Suave. She is Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York City Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News.’

Colleen Crowder: That’s right Johnny. We tell you what you want to read about.

Johnny Suave: Tonight, we’re coming to you live from the heart of South Carolina!”

His excitement infectious, Suave pivoted smoothly to recap the previous week’s showdowns.

Johnny Suave: Last week in Iowa, folks, we witnessed Donald Trump making it two for two as he clinched a victory in the American Patriots Iowa four-way clash defeating Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, and Vivek Ramaswamy!

Colleen couldn’t help but make a sour face at the news of Trump winning, her mind racing with headlines and editorials, already scripting the dramatic narrative that would enrapture her readers.

Johnny Suave: Also last week, Joe Biden—The Supreme CEO of PCW—stood tall in the Progressive Alliance match, laying waste to the competition!

Colleen Crowder: He used his great power to turn his challengers into large, heaping piles of ash.

Suave continued to build the hype for what was to come.

Johnny Suave: Yes he did and tonight, he looks to repeat that dominance in the Progressive Alliance’s South Carolina match.

The camera zoomed in on Johnny Suave, his expression animated as he gripped the microphone with both hands.

Johnny Suave: Folks, you can feel the electricity in the air tonight! We’ve got a lineup that’s hotter than a political Twitter feud!

Suave paused for the requisite “PCW” chants and fed off the crowd’s raucous energy. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the din.

Johnny Suave: First up, we’re going to witness the debut of the Extreme Weather Network right here in the PCW ring! Jim Frascatore and Mike Baddass…

He gestured toward the stage where ominous clouds and lighting effects promised a stormy entrance.

Johnny Suave: …will be facing off against Weapons of Mass Destruction. A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb. Those guys don’t just bring the pain; they bring the fallout!

Colleen Crowder: I don’t like them already.

Suave nodded and smirked.

Johnny Suave: And in other news, the grass is green and the sky is blue. Also tonight…

He paused for effect, letting the crowd’s anticipation build before dropping the bombshell.

Johnny Suave: …we will find out the representatives from the American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and American Heartland Coalition who will clash in the squared circle next week to determine the new PCW champion!

Colleen Crowder: Speaking of clashes…

A smirk playing on Colleen’s lips as she leaned into the mic.

Colleen Crowder: …our main event features our wonderful Supreme CEO Joe Biden. He decimated the competition in Iowa, and tonight, South Carolina’s own blue wave rises to crest once more!

Johnny Suave: All right. As you saw earlier, we’ve got some chaos unfolding outside.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, people should have the right to come into the arena and see the show.

Johnny Suave: But not if they haven’t paid for a ticket… and not when the place is sold out!

Colleen Crowder: It’s not fair. Surely Dawn McGill can find somewhere to put them.

Cut to…

That Place Where Chaos is Unfolding Outside Dawn McGill stood resolute among the cacophony of political debate.

Dawn McGill: Fine. If you’re not going to listen to me.

With a swift gesture, she beckoned to someone off-screen, and like a well-orchestrated wrestling entrance, Texas Governor Greg Abbott emerged, flanked by security, put up barbed wire fencing glinted under the arena lights—a stark symbol of no entry.

Hakeem Jeffries: Tickets or not, this is a public spectacle!

Jeffries’s protest was met with the unyielding barrier and Abbott’s stern gaze.

Mitch McConnell: Order must prevail!

Cut to…

The Broadcast Desk The broadcast desk was a beacon of calm in comparison to the pandemonium going on outside the arena. Suave cleared his throat, reclaiming the attention of millions.

Johnny Suave: Tensions are high, and the stakes even higher.

The cheers from the crowd rose into a fever pitch.

MATCH #1: The Extreme Weather Network (Jim Frascantore and Mike Baddass) vs.

Weapons of Mass Destruction (A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb) The camera panned to the center of the action where Kimber stood, microphone in hand, poised to usher in the night’s first epic confrontation.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen… our first match will be…

Crowd: ONE FALL!

The audience’s ritualistic response filled the space like an approaching storm.

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first…

On cue, the video screen flickered to life…

Narrator (video clip): OVER NINETY-BILLION, JILLION PEOPLE ARE IN EXTREME WEATHER DANGER TONIGHT!

…and painted dire predictions across its broad canvas. Images of nature’s fury unspooled—howling hurricanes, spiraling tornadoes, downpours that turned streets into rivers.

Kimber Marshall: Accompanied by Stephanie and Jen, they forecast pain and bring the thunder… Jim Frascantore and Mike Baddass… THE EXTREME WEATHER NETWORK!

The duo marched down the ramp, flanked by their meteorological mavens, drawing a mix of cheers and jeers. Frascantore, his face set in stern concentration beneath his slicked-back hair, looked ready to dissect an opponent’s strategy like a complex weather pattern. Baddass, flexing exaggeratedly, seemed more inclined to be the storm itself.

Before the fervor could settle, another anthem ripped through the speakers. Avenged Sevenfold’s “This Means War” heralded the arrival of their adversaries, and the Bomb family didn’t disappoint.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents, lead to the ring by Daisy Cutter-Bomb and accompanied by Newt Tron Bomb and General George S. Patton…

Crowd: DECEASED!

Kimber Marshall: …A. Tom Bomb! Hy Drogen Bomb! They are… WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

A. Tom Bomb led the pack, exuding radioactive charisma, while Hy Drogen Bomb’s explosive energy sent ripples through the onlookers. Newt Tron Bomb, with a smirk suggesting fissionable intentions, strutted beside Daisy Cutter-Bomb, whose steely gaze promised detonation at ground zero.

Johnny Suave: Looks like we’re in for some climatic chaos tonight, Colleen. The Extreme Weather Network is known for their unpredictability, but can they withstand the apocalyptic onslaught of the Bomb family?

Colleen Crowder: Oh Johnny, it’s just a disaster waiting to happen. These conflicting forces will create a monstrous supercell that will wreak havoc on our planet.

Johnny Suave: Wait. THAT’S your narrative?

Colleen Crowder: But of course. Let’s not forget the bigger picture here. This isn’t just about a silly wrestling match. It’s about the impact on our ever-changing climate and the shortcomings of our military establishment.

Johnny Suave: All right, here we go!

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Johnny Suave: IT’S OVER! Well, Mike Baddass and Jim Frascantore take advantage of their PCW debut and get the pin for the Extreme Weather Network!

Colleen Crowder: Well, I hope the ninety billion-jillion people in danger heed their words.

Outside the Arena Back outside, The Supreme CEO of PCW Joe Biden comes out to deal with the fence, dressed in a black shroud and black robe and looking menacing. Joe Biden, squaring off against a formidable barrier of stainless steel and barbed wire, wore determination like a suit of armor. His mission: dismantle this divisive boundary. But Governor Greg Abbott stood firm, a bulwark of Texan defiance.

So Biden decides to use his ‘powers’ and shoots laser bolts from his eyes. Unfortunately, the bolts don’t cut through the stainless steel, barbed wire fence and it ricochets all over the place hitting people- kind of like that scene from the first Indiana Jones movie where Belloq opened up the Ark of the Covenant unleashing spirits who came out and killed everyone… except Indiana Jones and Marian (of course) because they closed their eyes.

But at least no one’s face melts.

Suave’s voice hitched as he caught sight of the pandemonium outside.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

His usual composure shattered like the safety glass of decorum while Colleen, mouth agape, struggled to process the melee unfolding before them.

Colleen Crowder: I… I have no words, Johnny. But I know somewhere deep down that this is somehow Donald Trump’s fault.

The Progressive Alliance Locker Room The cameras panned away from the chaotic exterior to find the Progressive Alliance, and leaders Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer, huddled in a corner of the locker room. Also on hand: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels and ‘Country…er…Pop Songstress’ Taylor Switt, Kathryn Randall Collins “KRC,” Union Jack Taylor, The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior, NPC, ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Brandon Thomas-Taylor with Soccer Mom, Professor McCarthy’s Flock (Leader: Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy, Code Pink, Emily S. List, The GWO, Young Jerks, LOAF), Green World Order (Valet: Peta from PETA, GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick), The Young Jerks, and the Legion of Anti-Fascists (LOAF)

Their debate echoed through the chamber like the rapid-fire promos they were known for, but today’s topic was internal strategy rather than external bravado.

Hakeem Jeffries: Listen, we need to think outside the box…

His voice was tinged with urgency.

Hakeem Jeffries: Who represents us next week isn’t just about strength—it’s about the message we send.

Overenthusiastic Junior Member: Exactly! So let’s settle this with a match and send our best wrestler!

He is met with collective laughter, head-shaking, and tut-tutting.

Chuck Schumer: That’s not how things get done here and this isn’t some run-of-the-mill championship!

Schumer followed with a dismissive wave.

Chuck Schumer: We’re talking high stakes here! It’s not just about choosing the best wrestler. We must choose the ‘right’ wrestler.

The American Patriots Locker Room Meanwhile, across the divide, the American Patriots were engaged in their own brand of decision-making. With the following wrestlers watching: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott, ‘The One Man Hollywood Conservative A-List’ Stone Chism, Corporate World (CEO: Gordon Guyko, Kirk Walstreit ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ and P.M.C. Banks), Magnum P.O’d with Robyn Masters, Nate R. Adams (NRA), Texas Jack, and Neal Conn (making foreign policy as paramount responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the world’s sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global order).

Leaders Mike Johnson and Mitch McConnell were conducting a telethon-like spectacle where donors pledged cash live on air.

Mike Johnson: Remember, folks, the wrestler with the most money raised gets to represent the true American spirit!

Johnson’s eyes alight with the gleam of greenbacks rather than championship gold.

One Hopeful Patriot: Shouldn’t we, maybe, wrestle it out?

He was instantly drowned out by the cacophony of ringing phones and Mitch McConnell’s guffaw.

Mitch McConnell: Son, in politics—and wrestling—money talks louder than a body slam!

The room erupted in hearty agreement with McConnell.

Backstage In the midst of all the political posturing and financial maneuvering, Dawn McGill was seething with frustration. Her patience in dealing with the unticketed people who the Progressive Alliance demanded be allowed in had frayed to its breaking point, only matching the delicate fabric of her latest Henhouse photoshoot outfit.

Dawn McGill: Enough! I’ve had it!

Dawn charged down the aisle, her furious gestures aimed at the blue seats that were sold out and occupied.

Dawn McGill: You want them in that bad… fine.

Johnny Suave: What? Dawn’s backing down?

Colleen Crowder: As she should, Johnny.

Dawn McGill: They can sit in your section.

Johnny Suave: WHOA!

Colleen Crowder: WHAT?

The crowd erupted into a frenzy as the unticketed individuals flooded into the blue seats, climbing over others, blocking their view, and causing chaos.

Colleen Crowder: This is not right!

What was once an excited atmosphere quickly turned into a hostile battleground as people fought for their chance to catch a glimpse of the event from the blue seats. Angry shouts and boos drowned out any cheers, creating a chaotic scene filled with tension and frustration.

Colleen Crowder: Why can’t they also sit in the red seats?

As the camera zoomed in on Dawn’s triumphant smile, the scene faded to black.

Back inside…

Announcement of the Wrestlers who will meet next week for the PCW Title Johnny Suave: Let’s get down to brass tacks, folks!

Johnny Suave stood up from his commentary table, a theatrical glint in his eye.

Johnny Suave: The Progressive Alliance has made their choice for next week’s PCW Championship match, and let me tell you, I’ll bet you it’s as politically correct as a vegan hot dog at a climate change rally!

The crowd responded with a mixture of cheers and jeers, their anticipation palpable in the charged atmosphere. The video screen flickered to life, showcasing the Progressive Alliance leaders, Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer, standing beside a wrestler whose steely gaze was as firm as his stance on renewable energy.

Chuck Schumer: By virtue of seniority, making all the right moves outside the ring, and our desire to suck up to big Hollywood and the entertainment business, our representative… and the NEXT PCW champion… will be none other than ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels!

Daniels, dressed in a suit as sustainable as his wrestling technique, raised his arms, absorbing the mix of applause and dissent from the politically divided crowd.

The American Patriots choose their wrestler The screen now split to reveal Mike Johnson and Mitch McConnell standing with a smug-looking wrestler counting a stack of bills with gloved hands.

Johnny Suave: Money talks in the American Patriots camp, and boy, did it sing a sweet tune of cash registers ringing!

Mike Johnson: Our champion… and the NEXT PCW champion… is Wall Street Market Analyst… Kirk Walstreit. Because nothing says ‘America’ like a man who can make it rain in the ring!

Wallstreet waved the bills in the air, an arrogant smile plastered across his face, while the audience voiced their opinions, some chanting “Sell out!” in rhythmic disapproval.

Johnny Suave: So, the Progressive Alliance chose ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels… the American Patriots chose ‘Wall Street Market Analyst’ Kirk Walstreit… who will the American Heartland Coalition choose?

The American Heartland Coalition chooses its wrestler Then the American Heartland Coalition’s “Red Solo Cup” Ray McAvay, Charlie Blackwell, and “The Prairie Populist” William Daniels Bryan strode out, the very image of determination etched onto their faces. They were the picture of solidarity, each man representing the heart and soul of the wrestling world.

Ray McAvay: Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, there won’t be any boardrooms or bank accounts or political correctness nonsense deciding who steps up for the American Heartland Coalition.

Charlie Blackwell: We’re not going to choose our representative… y’all, we’re gonna battle it out the old-fashioned way—the way it should be done!

William Daniels Bryan: By deciding in the ring… this is how the American Heartland Coalition decides who their representative next week will be… right here… right now, in front of you roaring fans!

MATCH #2: Ray McAvay vs. Charlie Blackwell vs. William Daniels Bryan The trio reached the ring, their boots thudding against the apron as they climbed between the ropes. The crowd’s excitement swelled, a crescendo of anticipation that filled the arena like thunder before a storm. With solemn nods, McAvay, Blackwell, and Bryan extended their hands toward one another in a show of respect—a handshake that sealed their pact to let their prowess speak for them.

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Johnny Suave: And Charlie Blackwell will represent the American Heartland Coalition next week after he earned the right to wrestle in the PCW Title match in the ring.

Colleen Crowder: The American Heartland Coalition has no right to be in the PCW title match, Johnny. They are an insignificant second-tier faction.

Johnny Suave: Well Dawn McGill thinks they have a right to be there and so do the people.

Colleen Crowder: No they don’t. We the media set the agenda and we tell the people what they should care about and it’s not some flyover country, second-rate, American Heartland Coalition group.

Progressive Alliance Suite Dawn McGill stood tall and unyielding, her blonde hair a beacon under the bright arena lights. She herded the unticketed masses who continued to surge into the building like a tidal wave. Dawn crashed through security to breach the gates of the opulent Progressive Alliance suite.

Dawn McGill: You wanted them in here, you can deal with them.

She stood aside and watched as they flooded the space.

Colleen Crowder: No… she can’t do that!

Flustered Elite: Ease up, folks! Mind the spread!

The eager crowd descended upon the lavish buffet, silverware clattering and crystal shattering in their wake.

Colleen Crowder: This is not fair. Why can’t she take them over to the red sections?

Lobster tails and caviar disappeared as quickly as campaign promises, while the disheveled elites recoiled in abject horror.

Sharp Dressed Man: Those are Wagyu beef sliders, not hot dogs!

His voice of protest was drowned out by the chaos.

Another Sharp Dressed Man: Save the champagne!

He tried desperately to salvage a bottle from the grasp of an overzealous fan wearing a “Vote or Die” T-shirt.

The scene was one of pure bedlam, with gourmet food flying through the air and entitlement running rampant. The fragrant aroma of expensive delicacies mingled with the sour stench of desperation as the once civil veneer of the Progressive Alliance crumbled like a stale cracker under the weight of their own greed. It was a scene that perfectly embodied the excessive excesses of politics and power.

Cutting away from the pandemonium, the camera focused on the ringside where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave stood poised, his expression a mix of amusement and disbelief. Colleen Crowder, her face alight with partisan zeal, sat next to Suave… horrified at the chaos.

MAIN EVENT- SOUTH CAROLINA MATCH- Joe Biden vs. ??? Johnny Suave: Well, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the main event: The Progressive Alliance’s South Carolina match!

The lights dimmed, save for a single spotlight that centered on the entrance ramp. Kimber Marshall stepped forward, her voice cutting through the anticipation like a blade.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight’s main event will be…

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Colleen Crowder: I hate it when they do that.

A hush fell over the crowd as a hooded figure emerged, cloaked in shadows and gravitas. It was Biden, channeling the dark majesty of a certain emperor from a certain star space-like movie franchise, his gait slow and deliberate as he approached the ring.

Johnny Suave: Looks like he’s tapping into his dark side tonight.

The remark elicited a sharp glance from Colleen.

Colleen Crowder: Or maybe he’s just showcasing the unmatched power of the Progressive Alliance, Johnny. I mean, Joe Biden is so powerful… I don’t think anyone else is going to show up here for the match.

Indeed, Kimber Marshall just stood in the ring and waited.

Nothing.

Johnny Suave: Well… after what happened last week.

The arena echoed with the referee’s count, each digit ticking away the chances of any opposition showing face. At ten, the bell tolled, and Biden was declared the victor by default.

Colleen Crowder: Another win for the Blue Wave, isn’t it wonderful

Colleen clapped her hands together as if she were at a victory rally rather than a wrestling event.

Johnny Suave: Well? Joe Biden picks up a big win here in South Carolina!

The blue seats celebrated Biden’s big win but yet, the spectacle was far from over. Biden, now standing center-ring, pointed dramatically at a towering sign that read: “PCW’S EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2024.”

Johnny Suave: Now, Joe Biden is celebrating the most time-honored tradition of PCW’s Extreme Election Night season by pointing at the sign.

Colleen Crowder: It’s wonderful, Johnny. Joe Biden is one step closer to another four years of being the CEO of PCW!

Johnny Suave: Well, November’s a long, long way away but I think Joe Biden will have his hands full this fall with Donald Trump.

Colleen Crowder: Donald Trump? Hmmph. You just wait, Johnny. Our narrative is going to be that Joe Biden will catch fire and-

In an unexpected turn, two laser beams shot from Biden’s eyes, striking the sign and igniting it in a conflagration of blue and red flames.

Colleen Crowder: Uh-oh.

As the sign collapsed in a fiery heap, Suave turned to Colleen, a knowing smirk curving his lips.

Johnny Suave: Crash and burn?

Colleen began to scramble for an angle

Colleen Crowder: Clearly, this is metaphorical! A burning desire for change, Johnny. It’s… progressive firebranding!

Security stream to the burning sign and start to put it out with fire extinguishers.

Johnny Suave: Whether it’s a burning desire or just burning down the house, folks, you can’t deny PCW always brings the heat.

Colleen Crowder: That’s enough with the fire references!

Johnny Suave: I’m sure in the next few months we’ll see more pyrotechnics… political or otherwise.

Colleen Crowder: JOHNNY!

Johnny Suave: We will be back in South Carolina in three weeks for the big American Patriot showdown between Donald Trump and Nikki Haley. Next week, we will be in Nevada with both Trump and Joe Biden in action. Also, the PCW Title will be up for grabs. Until then, for my colleague Colleen Crowder, I’m Johnny Suave saying good night.

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 months

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1/27-PCW's Extreme Political TV-Mayhem in Manchester, New Hampshire

Political Championship Wrestling Mayhem in Manchester Manchester, New Hampshire Taped Tuesday January 23rd, 2024 Saturday January 27th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

PCW Investigative Reporter -Woodward Bernstein

Opening: The camera swooped across the SNHU Arena like an eagle surveying its territory, capturing the frenzied sea of signs and faces caught in the fever of anticipation. The bright lights illuminated the silhouettes of fans jumping and cheering, their voices blending into a powerful roar that filled the arena. The stage was set for an epic showdown between political heavyweights.

“WELCOME TO P… C… W!” As Johnny Suave’s smooth voice boomed over the speakers, the crowd erupted into cheers, their unified chant of “PCW… PCW… PCW!” echoing through the air. The energy was palpable, pulsating through every inch of the arena.

Suave stood proudly in the center of the ring, his sharp suit and slicked-back hair gleaming under the spotlight. He was a ring general, commanding attention with his presence alone. But he wasn’t alone. Beside him stood Colleen Crowder, a journalist from That Big New York Newspaper that prided itself on pushing ‘Narrative driven News.’ Her trendy frames and sharp eyes conveyed her no-nonsense attitude as she adjusted her microphone, her ‘Our Narrative is News’ badge glimmering defiantly on her blazer.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and political aficionados across the globe!” Suave exclaimed, his voice booming with excitement. “Welcome to another explosive edition of PCW’s Extreme Political TV, right here in the heart of downtown Manchester, New Hampshire!”

Despite her professional demeanor, it was clear that Crowder had little interest in the spectacle before her. But even she couldn’t deny the electrifying atmosphere of this event. It was going to be a night to remember.

“Last week,” Suave continued, his voice cutting through the chants like a knife, “we witnessed the might of Donald Trump as he bulldozed his way through Iowa, leaving Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, and Vivek Ramaswamy in the dust. Tonight, folks, he’s back for more and to make two for two.”

“Let’s not get carried away, Johnny,” Colleen chimed in, her words laced with skepticism. “As much as Trump loves the sound of his own entrance music, it’s Nikki Haley who has the real work cut out for her. She needs to stop Trump’s momentum before it’s too late.” Her fingers tapped impatiently on the announcer’s table, betraying her anxiety for the political theater to unfold.

Suave leaned into the microphone, his eyes glinting with the prospect of another headline-making night. “It’s clear the misuse of the judicial system has not slowed Donald Trump down. If Trump scores another big win tonight, it may just be a prelude to the inevitable. He may be unstoppable, Colleen.”

“Well, speaking of unstoppable,” Colleen retorted, crossing her arms, “let’s not forget about the main event tonight. PCW CEO Joe Biden stepping into the ring for the first time in 2024 in what will be a mere formality.”

“Trump and Biden, archrivals bound by destiny,” Suave mused aloud, letting the drama hang in the air. “Could we be witnessing the ultimate rematch in November? Stay tuned, because tonight, political grudges are settled not with votes, but with body slams and steel-folding chairs! Let’s go right to Kimber Marshall in the ring.”

MATCH #1-AMERICAN PATRIOT’S FOUR-WAY MATCH: Vivek Ramaswamy vs. Ron DeSantis vs. Nikki Haley vs. former PCW CEO Donald Trump The arena pulsated with anticipation, the crowd’s fevered chants vibrating against the steel and concrete of the SNHU Arena. Kimber Marshall, her voice a clarion call above the din, stepped into the spotlight at the center of the ring, ready to introduce the gladiators of the evening.

Ramaswamy strode out, a man with a purposeful gait, his eyes locked on the squared circle as if envisioning policy proposals he could execute within its ropes. The crowd offered a mixture of cheers and thoughtful nods, appreciating the fight he brought to the political arena.

DeSantis emerged, a smug half-smile playing across his lips, waving dismissively at the crowd as if to say he was beyond their need for approval. His confidence bordered on arrogance—a trait that stirred the audience into a frenzy of reaction.

Haley stepped forward with a determined march, her expression steely, ready to prove her mettle against her competitors. She received an uproarious welcome; many saw in her the potential to shift the balance of power in this high-stakes match.

“Lastly,” Marshall’s introduction reached a crescendo, “the former CEO of PCW, the man of the hour… he promises to…”

“MAKE PCW GREAT AGAIN!” the shout came from the red section of the arena.

“…DONALD… TRUMP!”

But the expected figure did not appear. No swaggering silhouette filled the entranceway. No triumphant smirk graced the jumbotron.

“Looks like the former CEO is keeping us waiting… again,” Suave quipped, his tone laced with mock surprise.

“Or perhaps,” Crowder interjected, her voice dripping with disdain, “he’s lost in his own delusions of grandeur. Either way, it’s disrespectful to the other contestants and to the integrity of this match.”

As the match was about to begin, Ramaswamy and DeSantis unexpectedly grabbed the microphone from Kimber Marshall.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Vivek Ramaswamy’s voice boomed through the arena. “I’d like to make an official announcement. I am officially declaring my support for Donald Trump!”

The crowd erupted into a mix of gasps and cheers. But Colleen, sitting front row with a determined scowl on her face, could not contain herself any longer. “NOOOO!” she shouted in dismay.

“I’m also throwing my support behind Donald Trump,” DeSantis added with a sly grin.

“HOLY CRAP!” Suave exclaimed from the announcer’s booth. “Ramaswamy and DeSantis have joined forces in support of Donald Trump and are aligning themselves against Nikki Haley! This changes everything!”

Colleen Crowder’s jaw dropped in astonishment as she witnessed Trump’s former rivals drop their campaigns and join with him with a sudden, calculated move. The room crackled with tension as the lines were drawn.

“Dammit!” She exclaimed, her voice seething with indignation at this unexpected turn of events. “COME ON NIKKI!”

DING-DING

“And there’s the bell!” Suave said.

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Just then, the familiar yet ominous tones of the Imperial March started playing, sending shivers down everyone’s spines.

“Son of a bitch,” muttered Colleen as chants of “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” filled the arena and synced to the beat of the music.

“TRUMP. TRUMP. TRUMP. TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP, TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP!”

“More like the opportunist.” Crowder’s lip curled in contempt as she watched Trump saunter in. “After leaving his allies Ramaswamy and DeSantis to do his dirty work, he swoops in, hoping for an easy victory and take all the glory for himself.”

Trump’s presence was larger than life, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. He absorbed the crowd’s energy like a conductor directing a symphony of support.

Ramaswamy and DeSantis both rolled out of the ring and regrouped.

“Let’s see if his political maneuvering inside the ring is as sharp as it is outside,” Suave said, watching Trump circle Haley like a predator sizing up his prey.

Crowder couldn’t help but grudgingly admire Trump’s showmanship, even as she despised it. “He may be a master of the spectacle, Johnny, but Nikki Haley isn’t one to back down from a fight. She’ll give him the challenge he’s looking for, and then some.”

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“AND DONALD TRUMP HAS WON IN NEW HAMPSHIRE!” Suave announced triumphantly, his words drowned out by the deafening roar of the crowd. “Nikki Haley put up a good fight against all odds,” Suave continued, his voice rising above the chant. “But once again, it’s Donald Trump who emerges victorious.”

Crowder’s face twisted into a mask of disappointment, her lips pressed tightly together in frustration.

“Nikki Haley is our last hope to stop Donald Trump!” she exclaimed, her words echoing the despondency of those who shared her sentiment. “But it’s not over yet. She’s still fighting! She’s still alive, Johnny!”

“Indeed,” Suave nodded, then turned his attention to the camera. “Stay tuned, folks. This isn’t over yet.”

A Friendly Discussion About Who Will Be the Next PCW Champion The arena was electric, a charged hum of anticipation thrumming through the air as Donald Trump’s victory set the stage for what was to come. Like a herald of chaos, Professor McCarthy, with his white hair like a halo of wisdom gone awry and round spectacles reflecting the spotlight, rolled into the ring. His flock followed, a motley crew of political caricatures: Codee Pink draped in her namesake color, Emily S. List brandishing a clipboard like a shield, The Green World Order marching in eco-friendly lockstep, and The Young Jerks swaggering with brash confidence.

“Listen up!” McCarthy bellowed, hoisting his ‘good book’ high above his head, its pages rife with dogmatic doctrine. “There are only two people in this entire organization who have the moral compass to hold the PCW championship—the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior and Mr. Hollywood Kevin Daniels!” His voice echoed off the turnbuckles, reaching every corner of the crowd. “Believe what we tell you to believe, say what we want you to say, do what we tell you to do, and conform to everything in this good book… or else we will all shout you down!”

At the broadcast table, Johnny Suave adjusted his headset, his face a mask of incredulity. “Folks, you’re witnessing Left Wing Fundamentalism at its most extreme,” he declared, shaking his head.

Colleen Crowder, tapping her pen against her notepad, shot back, “It’s not about religion, Johnny—it’s about setting a standard!”

The bickering commentators were suddenly drowned out by the arrival of Corporate World. P.M.C. Banks, Kirk Walstreit, and their manager, the slick Gordon Guyko, emerged from backstage, their expensive suits gleaming under the lights. The trio stood at the top of the ramp, an embodiment of power and affluence.

“Raise the image of PCW?” Walstreit smirked into the microphone. “It’s time for a Corporate PCW champion, someone who truly represents success.”

Banks nodded, his smile as shiny as a new dime. “You can take that to the bank—or better yet, to Banks.”

Gordon Guyko couldn’t resist the final word, leaning into the mic with a grin that could sell ice to polar bears. “Greed is good… it’s really, really good!”

Suave leaned closer to his mic, his eyebrows arched. “And there you have it, folks—greed versus creed in the squared circle!”

“Money may talk, but does it wrestle?” Colleen quipped, her gaze following the corporate sharks as they retreated, confident in their claim to the championship.

As the crowd roared, the battle lines were drawn on the canvas of the ring—a war of ideologies, where only the mightiest mantra would emerge victorious.

The familiar strains of “Do You Hear the People Sing” reverberated throughout the arena, igniting a fire in the hearts of the spectators. From the Deplorables’ section at ringside, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, Texan Charlie Blackwell, and the stalwart ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan stood up, their faces etched with determination. The crowd erupted as they made their way to the ring, each step a defiant march against the establishment.

“Looks like The Heartland Coalition is about to make a stand,” Johnny Suave’s voice boomed over the PA system, his excitement palpable.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, Johnny. This could be just another grandstanding moment,” Colleen Crowder countered, skepticism coloring her tone.

Once in the ring, Bryan snatched the microphone with the assurance of a man who knew exactly what he was fighting for. “I was the PCW champion the last time, and no Corporate drone or left-wing fundamentalist is going to take what belongs to the people… the PCW Title!” His voice echoed, resonating with the fervor of the heartland.

“By the people, for the people,” Suave chimed in, nodding approvingly.

“Or so he claims,” quipped Colleen, rolling her eyes.

Professor McCarthy, red-faced and flustered, waddled forward, shaking his ‘good book’ at Bryan. “The Deplorables do NOT speak for the people! It is we, the enlightened… the elite… we speak for the people who are too stupid to think for themselves… we are the ones who must guide them!” he bellowed, his Flock nodding in zealous agreement.

“Ah, the battle cry of the allegedly woke,” Suave mocked.

“Johnny, you’re missing the point. They’re advocating for progressive voices,” Colleen retorted, but her comment was drowned out by the escalating argument in the ring.

Gordon Guyko, ever the opportunist, seized his moment, stepping into the fray with a sinister smile. “Money talks… money is power…” He paused for dramatic effect, letting his gaze sweep over the agitated crowd. “…and greed is good… really, really good.”

“Unbelievable,” Suave muttered.

“Disgustingly predictable,” Colleen added, her disdain clear.

The tumult reached a fever pitch until the commanding presence of PCW owner Dawn McGill brought a sudden hush over the crowd. Towering in the ring, she cut an imposing figure in a sleek, black business suit, tailored to accentuate her statuesque frame. Her medium-length blonde hair fell in waves, framing her steely blue eyes that exuded authority.

“Enough!” she commanded, her voice cutting through the chaos. “I’ve heard enough talk tonight, and here’s what’s going to happen.” She held the mic firmly, asserting control. “In two weeks, there will be a three-way match to determine the new PCW Champion. The American Patriots, the Progressive Alliance, and the American Heartland Coalition will all choose their wrestler to participate in the match.”

“Wait a minute!” Colleen interjected, her face contorting with annoyance. “Why include the American Heartland Coalition?”

“Because, Colleen,” Suave said, unable to hide a smirk, “everyone gets a shot in PCW—even the coalition you love to hate.”

Consternation washed over Corporate World and Professor McCarthy’s Flock, their smugness replaced with shock and anger. Meanwhile, the Deplorables exchanged looks of cautious optimism, sensing an opportunity.

“Remember folks, in two weeks, it’s greed, creed, or the people’s need!” Suave proclaimed as Dawn McGill turned on her heel, leaving the ring amidst a chorus of reactions, her message delivered and her challenge set.

Chris Cantwell’s Two-Sentence Political Commentary Because two sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Fixing the Political Primary Season

Start with the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire Primary because… tradition and the fact Iowa and New Hampshire bring out the best in retail politics.

Then hold a national primary day in February so everyone… not just Iowa and New Hampshire… has a voice in choosing the two nominees who will face off against each other in November.

MAIN EVENT-PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE MATCH: PCW CEO Joe Biden vs. two other people Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the main event!” Johnny Suave’s voice boomed through the arena, electrifying the crowd. “The Progressive Alliance 3-way match is upon us, and what a ride it’s been to get here!”

“Indeed, Johnny,” Colleen Crowder chimed in, her voice dripping with anticipation. “There was talk of starting the season in Michigan and South Carolina, but tradition prevails! Iowa and New Hampshire won’t be sidelined this year.”

Kimber Marshall stood in the ring at the ready with the other two candidates already in the ring but getting the jobber entrance tonight.

“Thanks to the swift reaction of Joe Biden himself to get here tonight,” Suave added, “saving him from what could have been an embarrassing loss in the political wrestling calendar.”

The blue side erupted into a cacophony of cheers while the red side jeered as Biden emerged, draped in a black shroud and robe that would make Emperor Palpatine envious.

Escorted to the ring by the Space Force, clad in black and white outfits, Biden’s glare cut through the smoke machines and spotlight haze, fixing on the ring where his opponents awaited.

“Look at him, Johnny. He’s got the gravitas of a man who’s seen a thousand political battles and lived to tell the tale,” Colleen remarked, half in awe.

“Or signed a thousand executive orders,” quipped Suave, not missing a beat.

Colleen rolled her eyes. “Either way, he looks the part tonight.”

“Here we go!” Suave shouted as Biden halted near the center of the ring, watching stoically as the other two candidates engaged in a heated exchange of verbal jabs and policy slams.

“Biden, seems to be biding his time,” observed Colleen, her eyes fixed on the unmoving figure.

“Wait, wait… she’s pushing him down now!” Suave’s voice rose in pitch, but Biden remained an unreactive monolith.

“Playing the long game, perhaps?” Colleen mused.

Suave’s voice cracked with disbelief. “HOLY CRAP!”

“Would you look at that, Johnny! The female politician—she’s… she’s gone!” Colleen’s voice was a mixture of shock and twisted satisfaction as the arena lights flickered.

“Biden was just standing and glaring,” Suave explained. “Then without warning, two laser bolts shot out of his eyes and incinerated the female politician!”

The remaining politician, his face drained of color, stumbled back in horror before rolling out of the ring, attempting to flee the surreal onslaught.

“Run for it!” Suave exclaimed.

Too late, Biden turned and a second volley of laser bolts from his eyes struck the fleeing figure, reducing him to ash amid gasps and screams from the audience.

“You can run but you can’t hide from Joe Biden, Johnny,” Colleen cracked.

“I guess not.”

Biden walked over and stuck his foot in the ashes of the first victim. The referee makes the count… ONE… TWO… THREE!”

The referee called for the bell.

“Unbelievable! Biden stands victorious!” Colleen declared, almost breathless with excitement.

“Without throwing a single punch,” Suave noted, astounded. “Folks, it doesn’t get any more PCW than this. Absolute power in the literal sense.”

“Your winner,” Kimber Marshall said, keeping a fair distance in between her and Biden by staying out of the ring. “The Supreme CEO of PCW… JOE! BIDEN!”

Biden was facing the wrong way so the referee turned him around so he would be looking at the hard camera at ringside.

“No surprise here,” Suave said. “Joe Biden eases to an easy win-“

The PCW CEO raised his arm and another laser blast from his eyes fried an unlucky beer vendor in the stands about to make a sale.

“…HOLY CRAP!” Suave took a moment to compose himself before wrapping up the show. “Ladies and gentlemen, that’s going to do for this week. Donald Trump picks up another win and takes another step forward towards a rematch against Joe Biden at PCW Extreme Election Night 2024.”

“The polls don’t matter,” Colleen said. “When push comes to shove, people will support Joe Biden over Donald Trump. That’s our narrative.”

“Next weekend, we take this insanity to South Carolina for the next round of the Progressive Alliance match and we will find out who will be wrestling for the PCW Title in two weeks. If what happened tonight was any indication, you not going to want to miss it!” Suave said, wrapping up the show.

“And if you blink, you may just miss it.” Colleen added with a smile. “Remember, in November it’s going to be a Blue Wave!”

0 notes

pcwpolwrestling · 3 months

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1/20-PCW Returns with Extreme Political TV from Iowa

When we last met…

January 20th, 2021-Joe Biden’s Inauguration as CEO of PCW Seated in her plush, overstuffed armchair at home, PCW Owner Dawn McGill luxuriated in comfort as she watched the newly returned PCW Blue Brand aka… Political Shakedown show- live from Washington, D.C. She sipped on a glass of whiskey, the smooth liquid washing away any tension or stress from the day. The soft light from the nearby lamp casts a warm glow over her living room, highlighting her freshly painted red toenails that peeked out from beneath her favorite sweatshirt and blue jeans.

As she munched on a bowl of buttery popcorn, Dawn’s gaze flicked from the screen to her surroundings, her sanctuary, her safe haven from the chaos and drama of the outside world. But even here, she can’t escape the political turmoil that has consumed PCW over the past few months.

With Joe Biden officially being installed as the new CEO of PCW, Dawn reflected on everything that has transpired: the return of PCW and Extreme Election Night 2020 where the Progressive Alliance swept everything and took full control of the PCW Executive Committee; her own abduction at the hands of wealthy financiers George Moros and the Coke Brothers, with assistance from The Alan Lincoln’s Project, during Extreme Election Night; and her subsequent detention for almost two months before being rescued by The Deplorables.

But perhaps what weighed heaviest on Dawn’s mind is the recent riot at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, which resulted in the destruction of PCW’s spiritual home of over 15 years. It was this event that ultimately led to the return of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and spelled the end for PCW as she knew it.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Dawn shook her head in disbelief at how quickly everything had unraveled.

As the TV flickered to life, a grand and lavish production filled the screen. The atmosphere was electric, with waves of excitement emanating from the audience. Security was tight, with members of the newly established Space Force clad in pristine white and black uniforms standing guard.

Finally, the moment arrived as Joe Biden, the newly inaugurated CEO of PCW, stepped up to the podium. His wrinkled seventy-six year old face was covered in a dark shroud and black cloak. But it was his eyes that captured the attention of the viewers. Like two storm clouds swirling with power and intensity, they seemed to shoot out bolts of lightning with each gesticulation.

“People… supporters of…” Biden was stopped in mid-sentence when his aides realized Joe was facing the wrong direction. They guided Biden and turned around to address the crowd. An annoyed look from the new CEO of PCW presaged a quick bolt of lightning from his eyes that incinerated an unlucky cameraman in front of him leaving the poor man in a heap of ash on the ground.

Now, looking in the correct direction, Biden’s voice boomed through the crowded arena, his words punctuated by cheers from the passionate crowd. “People, supporters of Political Championship Wrestling, today we mark a transition. For years, PCW stood as the conduit for people who were fed up with the status quo, fed up with politics as usual. But there were those within our fan base who would set us against one another for we never suspected that the greatest threat came from within. These “supporters” conspired to create a shadow of doubt on my appointment aided and abetted by the previous PCW CEO.”

Dawn McGill watched while she munched on a large bucket of buttered popcorn she’d just microwaved.

Biden continued: “The riot two and a half weeks ago left PCW scarred and deformed. But I can assure you my resolve has never been stronger. The war is over. Donald Trump has been defeated and we stand on the threshold of a new beginning. With that in mind, in order to ensure the security and continuing stability and for a safe and secure society, Political Championship Wrestling will be reorganized into the Political Wrestling Universe and PCW will cease to exist.”

Dawn reached over to grab her flask of whiskey hidden under her seat, taking a quick swig before leaning back to listen to Biden’s plans for a stronger, more stable political wrestling universe.

Biden continued, “By bringing the political universal under our enlightened guidance, the corruption that plagued PCW in the past few years under the ownership of Dawn McGill will never take root ever again.”

As Biden spoke about the transition and the previous controversy within PCW, Dawn couldn’t help but roll her eyes and throw a piece of popcorn at the TV screen showing the speech.

Biden went on while a crowd of powerful elites before him nodded in agreement, their faces set with determination and conviction. “Under our New Order, our most cherished beliefs will be safeguarded. We will defend our ideals by force of arms.

Behind Biden stood a lineup of influential figures, including George Moros, a big money, political bank roller known for his controversial political views; the infamous Coke Brothers, shrewd businessmen who controlled large portions of the world’s resources; Jack Buckenberg, the enigmatic CEO of Facetwitogram, a popular social media platform; and Alan Lincolns, founder of the Alan Lincolns Project, a highly influential group in shaping public opinion.

The camera then panned to Professor McCarthy, a renowned scholar from Berkeley, California known for his devotion to the ‘good book that spells out what’s correct and incorrect to think, say, and believe,’ and his loyal followers -The Green World Order. GreenPete, a vocal environmentalist; ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, known for his extreme methods of promoting plant-based diets; PeaceNick, an advocate for non-violent resolutions; and Peta from PETA, dedicated to animal rights.

But it didn’t stop there. The Hollywood Left and sports celebrities from all walks of life joined in, signaling their support with cheers and clapping.

Finally, Biden concluded his speech with a fierce declaration: “We will give no ground to our enemies and we will stand together against attacks from with or without. Let our enemies take heed. Those who challenge our resolve will be crushed.”

The Guild of Low-Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves: Colleen Crowder of That Big New York Newspaper that pushes ‘Narrative as News’, Sharon Johns from the National News Cable Company, Hallie Reed of MS Left Wing News, and Dan Miller from the Big Washington Newspaper that used to be really good until they decided to be the New York Times-lite- all enthusiastically joined in the ovation.

FIN? January 31st, 2021 The location of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, a once thriving hub of entertainment and community, now lay desolate in the midst of a snowy landscape. The icy wind whipped against Dawn McGill’s face as she parked her car on the side of the road, next to Johnny Suave’s vehicle. Together, they stared at the empty field that was once adorned with the bustling saloon.

Dawn reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a flask of whiskey. She poured two shots and handed one to Suave, who accepted it with a grateful nod. The liquid burned their throats as they downed it, trying to warm themselves from the bitter cold.

As they stood there, reminiscing about the days when PCW was at its peak, running monthly at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. They couldn’t help but feel a sense of melancholy wash over them. They had spent countless nights here, making memories that would last a lifetime.

But now it was all gone. The saloon had been torn down, leaving only an empty space behind. Yet, despite its absence, Dawn and Suave still felt its presence lingering in the air.

“What should we drink to?” Dawn asked, breaking the silence between them.

Suave turned to look at her, his eyes filled with nostalgia. “How about good times and good memories?”

Dawn smiled wistfully and clinked her shot glass against his. “Good times and good memories,” she echoed before they both took another sip.

As they stood there in silent reflection, they knew that even though Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon may no longer exist physically and PCW may no longer exist period, the spirit would always live on through their shared experiences and cherished recollections. And for that, they were forever grateful.

Fin?

(…)

Nope…

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Political Championship Wrestling Drama in Des Moines Des Moines, Iowa Taped Monday January 14th, 2024 Saturday January 20th, 2021

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 28 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

PCW Investigative Reporter -Woodward Bernstein

Opening The air in the bar was thick with anticipation, a heady cocktail of sweat and spilled beer. Underneath the clamor, there was an electric hum – the sound of fervent hearts chanting in unison, “PCW… PCW… PCW!” Spotlights crisscrossed over their heads, converging on the squared circle that was the evening’s altar of entertainment.

In the eye of this human hurricane stood Johnny Suave, microphone in hand, his slick suit barely containing his excitement. Beside him, That Big New York Newspaper that pushes ‘Narrative as News’ reporter Colleen Crowder’s sharp features were set in a look of disdain.

“Welcome, one and all, to the grand return of PCW’s Extreme Political TV, right here in Des Moines, Iowa!” Suave announced, his voice cutting through the noise like a knife. He paused for dramatic effect, his eyes twinkling with showmanship, before dropping his catchphrase…

“HOLY CRAP!”

As if on cue, the crowd exploded into cheers, the room vibrating with their approval. Colleen, however, remained unimpressed, her lips curling as though she had tasted something sour.

“This… spectacle has no place on the air,” Colleen declared, her voice dripping with condescension.

“Tonight, we’re kicking off the road to Extreme Election Night 2024 with a four-way American Patriots Iowa Caucus match!” Suave continued, the announcement injecting even more life into the already excited audience. “But first…” Suave turned, gesturing toward the entrance with a flourish. “Let me bring out the owner of PCW, the woman who fought tooth and nail to bring us back – Dawn McGill!”

Colleen’s face sank and the crowd roared as Dawn stepped into view, security parting the sea of bodies like a modern-day Moses. She wore black boots laced up to her knees, tight denim shorts, and a PCW tank top that hugged her athletic frame. Her medium-length hair was poofed out, and her eyes sparkled with determination, gratitude, and a lot of makeup.

McGill was escorted to the ring by a team of burly security guards, their muscles bulging under tight black shirts. The bar erupted as she passed through. The big screen televisions lining the wall displayed provocative, but tasteful, images from her recent Henhouse Magazine shoot and ignited a frenzy within the crowd. Fans jostled for a chance to touch her, reaching out with outstretched arms and pleading eyes. McGill strode forward confidently past the fans who jostled and reached out with outstretched arms towards her. She basked in the attention like a queen amongst her loyal subjects.

“Nice pictures,” Colleen snarked under her breath as Dawn rolled into the ring, her tone acidic enough to curdle milk.

“I know,” Dawn replied without missing a beat, with the confidence of someone who’d faced greater challenges than a verbal spar.

She embraced Suave, her ally in this world of chaos and theatrics. They stood united, a bulwark against the smug dismissal in Colleen’s eyes. It was more than a hug; it was an affirmation that they were ready to take on whatever the political arena would throw at them.

In the midst of the cheers and the palpable energy of revival, Dawn couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride. She had taken the hits, bore the scrutiny, and emerged victorious. This ring was her domain, and she was back – not just for herself, but for every person who believed that PCW was more than a show. It was a movement, a voice, and tonight, it was going to be louder than ever.

The PCW chants swelled like a storm, crashing against the makeshift arena within the walls of Des Moines’ most unlikely venue.

“WE’RE BACK!” she bellowed, fists clenched with the tenacity of a prizefighter.

The bar thundered in response, a chorus of “PCW… PCW… PCW…” that shook pint glasses and rattled the turnbuckles.

“Lord knows it’s been a long road,” Dawn projected over the din, her gaze sweeping across the sea of faces. “But we’ve driven every bumpy mile thanks to you—the fans!” She punched a finger upward, punctuating her gratitude. The spotlight caught the glimmer of determination in her eyes.

“Let’s give a round of applause to Henhouse Magazine,” she declared, a sly smirk on her lips. “Who would have thought that just flipping through some glossy pages could rekindle a revolution?” Dawn paused as more pictures cycled through on the big screen televisions inside the bar. “And thanks to the money I made posing for their magazine, we had the financing to restart PCW.” The crowd erupted into cheers, grateful for the insider information from their beloved leader.

“Of course, none of this would be possible without Waylon Husk!” Dawn’s tone shifted, a note of respect threading through her words. “His social media platform gave us a megaphone when others wanted to keep us silent.”

She spun on her heel, suddenly facing the hard camera, her expression fierce. “And as for you, Jack Buckenberg, deplatform this! ” she snarled, raising her middle finger with a flourish. “*BLEEP* you!” The censors barely caught the f-bomb in time but clearly caught the cheer that erupted, echoing her sentiment: “PCW… PCW… PCW!”

Colleen Crowder’s lip curled at the edges, disdain dripping from her posture. “This is exactly the type of uncouth behavior that should be deplatformed,” she muttered into her mic, loud enough for the cameras but drowned out by the fervor of chanting supporters.

“TONIGHT, is just the beginning,” Dawn declared, reclaiming the moment as her own. “Come November, on Extreme Election Night 2024, we crown a new CEO of PCW.” Her hands swept wide, framing the future in the air before her.

“Joe Biden will win because that’s our narrative,” Colleen Crowder interjected sharply, the words slicing through the anticipation like a knife. “That Big New York Newspaper that pushes ‘Narrative as News,’ we’ve already decided it.”

“Decided?” Suave’s brow arched, a smirk tugging at his lips. “You do realize that narrative-driven news is the same as scripted pro wrestling, right?” His words were velvet wrapped around a sledgehammer, soft but devastating.

“Comparing journalism to your scripted circus?” Colleen’s face flushed, a vein throbbing in her temple. “Apples and oranges, Suave. Apples and oranges.”

“Both are entertaining, but only one pretends to be reality,” Suave shot back, the barbs hidden under his breathy chuckle.

Dawn seized the pause, rising above the fray. She ascended the turnbuckle, arms spread wide—a phoenix risen from the ashes of controversy. Her smile was a beacon, a signal that no matter how heated the debate, the show must—and would—go on.

And just like that, we were off and running.

Preview The raucous energy inside the bar crackled like a live wire as ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave stood center ring, his voice cutting through the cacophony with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, his tone rising above the buzz, “tonight, four titans will clash in the American Patriots’ Iowa Caucus match!”

The crowd, a seething mass of anticipation, responded with varying degrees of enthusiasm as Suave introduced the contenders one by one. “First up, Vivek Ramaswamy!” A smattering of hands met together in polite, yet unenthusiastic applause—a golf clap for the political pugilist.

“Next, the trailblazing Nikki Haley!” The applause grew slightly warmer but still lacked true fervor, like a tepid bath that couldn’t quite steam the mirror.

“Then we have Ron DeSantis!” Approval crested higher now, okay applause rolling in like a reliable tide, respectful and expected.

“And finally, the former CEO of PCW… Donald Trump!” The arena erupted, a volcanic release of adoration and excitement that sent a shockwave through the air—roaring applause that shook the foundations of the building.

Beside Suave, Colleen Crowder’s face contorted with incredulity, her voice piercing the din. “This is preposterous! Trump has no business being in this match!” Her protest was a tempest in a teapot, drowned out by the thunderous approval of the masses.

“Well, not even the misuse of the American Judicial system can keep Trump from being here,” Suave quipped.

Colleen let out a gasp and sputtered a few incomprehensible things.

With the announcement squared away, Suave pivoted to the imminent action. “It’s time for our first match!”

MATCH #1: Big Oil vs. ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Brandon Thomas-Taylor Under the soft glow of eco-friendly LED lights, the “New Age Sensitive Guy” Brandon Thomas-Taylor, perched upon an electric cart, his passage through the bar towards the ring Mikeed by a glacial pace that could only be described as ironic. The cart, much like the political promises of renewable energy, ran out of juice…

“Son of a bitch!” Brandon exclaimed

…and forced Brandon to disembark and walk the remainder of the way, his footfalls a quiet testament to thwarted innovation.

“Where’s the charging station?” he groused.

“It’s very cold here in Des Moines, tonight,” Suave said. “And cold apparently reduces the amount of charge electric batteries hold.”

Accompanying him to the ring, Soccer Mom waved her banner high, her rallying cry piercing the atmosphere “It’s for the children!” An emblem of suburban activism, she personified the intersection of helicopter parenting and hashtag advocacy.

But as the behemoth known as Big Oil made his entrance, the mood shifted just a little. The lighting cast elongated shadows behind the 7-foot goliath, his every step a seismic event. Texas Tex, the epitome of fossil fuel excess, followed, pushing a wheelbarrow overflowing with cash—symbolic of profits over planet.

“Big Oil versus ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Brandon Thomas-Taylor!” announced Suave, his voice riding the wave of the crowd’s shifting focus.

A chant, both derisive and catchy, began to sweep through the stands. “Let’s Go Brandon!” The crowd latched onto the meme with fervor, their unified voices a sardonic serenade that tickled the ears of all but one.

Colleen Crowder bristled, her commentary betraying her agitation. “This mockery is unacceptable!” Her voice trembled with the force of her conviction, a lone reporter against the tide of public opinion.

“His name is Brandon,” Suave pointed out.

“Unacceptable!” Colleen repeated.

The bell’s clang reverberated through the bar. Brandon Thomas-Taylor, his eco-conscious heart pounding beneath his hemp-fiber singlet, steadied himself as the colossus known as Big Oil loomed over him. The behemoth’s boots pounded the mat like drumbeats of doom, each stomp a metaphor for environmental degradation.

“Here comes the deforestation in human form!” Johnny Suave’s voice crackled with excitement, the crowd hanging on his every word.

“That’s not funny,” Colleen said.

Big Oil’s massive hand clapped onto Brandon’s chest, the sound echoing like a tree falling in an untouched forest. He chopped the New Age Sensitive Guy down, Brandon’s body hitting the mat with the weight of a carbon footprint. The crowd was a tempest of jeers and cheers, a storm of public opinion in the political arena of the ring.

“Look at that power! It’s like watching an oil spill cover pristine coastline,” Colleen cried out, her voice laced with sarcasm and dread.

Whip after whip, corner to corner, Big Oil sent Brandon careening like a misguided energy policy, until finally, with a roar that shook the foundations, he powerbombed the sensitive soul to the canvas. Brandon tried to clear his head.

“Renewable energy can’t be snuffed out this easily,” he thought, trying to rally his spirit. Then Big Oil lifted him for a second devastating powerbomb and drove him down with enough force to cause him to bounce three feet up in the air before crashing down again.

Big Oil, the embodiment of fossil fuel might, hoisted Brandon once more.

“Can’t you see he’s had enough?” Colleen’s plea to the referee was a desperate cry against unchecked corporate power, but it went unheeded as Big Oil delivered a third cataclysmic powerbomb.

As if the ring were fracked earth, Brandon lay fractured on the mat, his resolve leaking away.

“BIG OIL HAS JUST HIT THREE CONSECUTIVE POWERBOMBS ON BRANDON!” Suave shouted. “AND NOW HE’S SET BRANDON UP FOR THE OKLAHOMA DRILLER!”

Big Oil placed Brandon’s head between his legs and readied him for this finisher by holding him upside down.

“STOP THE MATCH!” Colleen screamed, her journalistic objectivity lost in a sea of concern for the underdog.

But then, the opening notes of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” filled the bar, a refrain of hope amidst despair. Big Oil’s attention snapped away from his defeated opponent.

“HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?” Suave’s voice rose in pitch, disbelief coloring his words.

A spotlight cut through the dimly lit bar, searching, seeking the savior. And there he was, amidst the throng of spectators—a plaid-shirted enigma wielding a steel chair, a grayish beard, and a weaponized mocha.

“HE’S HERE!” Suave bellowed, barely able to contain his glee.

The bar erupted, a geyser of adulation for the Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon, Al Gore, brandishing his biodegradable cup high, a toast to Mother Earth herself as he headed down the ramp. With a long swig that emptied the cup, he channeled the fury of a thousand climate accords and spewed the caffeinated contents over the roaring masses.

“IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’, INSANE CHAIR-SWINGING, ENVIRONMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE!”

Big Oil let Brandon fall to the mat and glared at Gore.

“Take that, emissions!” Colleen found herself shouting, swept up in the moment.

As the crowd serenaded him with Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop,” Gore crushed the paper cup against his cranium, signaling his readiness to recycle Big Oil’s attitude with extreme prejudice.

“AL GORE IS BACK IN PCW AND HE’S COME TO BRANDON’S AID!” Suave exclaimed.

Once again, Gore pulled out another mocha and drank it down. He then smashed the cop against his forhead and another container met its fate, the crowd wild with anticipation, as Gore continued his eco-friendly onslaught, dousing them with both liquid and fervor.

With Soccer Mom’s maternal instincts kicking in, she slid into the ring, pulling Brandon to safety. His battered body was a testament to the clash between green ideals and black gold.

Gore rolled into the ring and a staredown ensued.

“Al Gore makes the save for ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Brandon Thomas-Taylor,” Suave said. “I suspect this battle is not over yet.”

“You know, it’s like Al Gore said in his book,” Colleen chimed in with a sly grin, causing a smirk to grace her lips. “Some people just can’t handle The Inconvenient Truth!”

Suave rolled his eyes…

How Dare You? …and on the towering big-screen televisions, static snow danced for an agonizing few seconds before crystallizing into the figure of a young woman. “And now, folks,” Colleen Crowder’s voice oozed through the speakers with the syrupy sweetness of false praise, “let us bear witness to the power of youth activism, as exemplified by the incomparable Greta Thunberg!”

Except it wasn’t Greta Thunberg at all.

“Wait just a minute!” Johnny Suave’s voice cut in, sharp and clear. His eyes widened behind his signature shades as he leaned forward, disbelief etched on his face. “That’s not Greta.”

Colleen’s eyes widened. “What?”

“That’s Gracie McAvay!” Suave said. “Dawn McGill’s nine-year-old daughter!”

Gracie, her tiny frame dwarfed by the screen, stood defiantly before the camera, her chin lifted in a mimicry that was both uncanny and scathing. “How dare you?” Her small voice echoed with a conviction that belied her years, each word a pint-sized punch thrown at the bloated belly of Washington D.C.’s political elite. “Spending trillions more than what we take in taxes!” Gracie continued, her hands balled into fists. “You’re spending my money, my children’s money, my grandchildren’s money, because who do you think is going to have to pay this all back?” She stomped a small foot, a miniature gladiator in the coliseum of public opinion. “Running up a national debt over thirty trillion dollars—how dare you?”

Colleen Crowder spluttered into her mic, the image of disarray. “Well, she’s too young to understand complex fiscal policies and the intricacies of government spending.”

And then, as if Gracie sensed the rising tide of support from the audience, her small arms shot up, fingers splayed in an unmistakable ‘up yours’ gesture that sent the crowd into a frenzy.

“Gracie!” The reprimand came off-camera, Dawn’s voice piercing through the din.

“Sorry, Mom.” Gracie’s sheepish reply was almost drowned out by the deafening roar of approval from the fans. Her eyes sparkled with mischief and resolve—a reflection of her mother’s spirit.

As the video feed cut out, leaving the screens blank once again, the arena buzzed with energy.

An Offer She Can’t Refuse Inside her office, Dawn McGill lounged in her chair. Her gaze narrowed on the monitor, but not because the commercial held any particular interest; it was just there, like the unavoidable hum of a distant lawnmower on a lazy Sunday.

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

“Come in,” she called out, voice dripping with anticipation like honey from a spoon, a tone concocted for unsolicited guests with delusions of grandeur.

The door swung open, and in strode two actors playing caricatures of political virtue, Mike Johnson and Mitch McConnell, decked out in their finest American Patriot Leader cosplay – red ties tight as nooses around their necks. “Mike… Mitch. What a surprise,” Dawn drawled, the sarcasm obvious enough to leave a taste.

“Good evening, Dawn,” Mike began, his Southern drawl thick as molasses in December. “We’re here to offer you a golden opportunity.”

“Golden opportunity, you say?” She raised an impeccably arched brow, leaning back in her chair, the very picture of feigned curiosity.

“Indeed,” Mitch chimed in, face earnest, mustache. “PCW should come home…to the Red Brand.”

“Come home to the Red Brand,” Dawn echoed, tasting the words like a connoisseur sips a suspect vintage.

Mike adopted a preacher’s fervor. “That’s right. The American Patriots are the faction of Abraham Lincoln. The Red Brand is the perfect place for you to be.”

Dawn’s lips curled into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I see. And where would our wrestlers start?”

“Entry level,” Mitch said, as though he were offering up a spot in heaven’s waiting room.

“Entry level?” Dawn repeated, letting the phrase hang in the air, sour as curdled milk.

“The pay isn’t great, but it’s better than it used to be,” Mitch offered, hoping the bone he threw had some meat on it.

“Ah.” She nodded, the gesture as empty as most campaign promises.

“And we also have some wrestlers who are bankrolled by some of our big corporate supporters. They would have to be pushed ahead of all the newcomers,” Mike interjected, his tone slightly apologetic.

“Corporate branding of the characters would need to be done,” Mitch added, as if laying out the perks of a timeshare in hell.

“Well, as much as that sounds intriguing…” Dawn began, voice soaked in facetiousness, “…and it does…I think I’m going to pass.”

Mike’s face fell; he looked like a dog that had been kicked one too many times. “I see, you want us to sweeten the deal,” he said, hand slicing through the air as though it could cut a side of beef.

Their act was as convincing as a toupee in a hurricane, as authentic as a three-dollar bill. Dawn knew this dance well, the awkward pas de deux of power plays and false promises. But she wasn’t buying what they were selling – not today, not ever. Dawn McGill played to win, and in PCW, winning meant keeping your soul intact, not auctioning it off to the highest bidder.

Mike Johnson laid out their ‘generous’ offer, Dawn reclined in her chair, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, like a seasoned poker player hiding a royal flush up her sleeve.

“Okay, we can throw in advocating lower taxes without demanding reduced spending,” Mike declared, his voice carrying the oily charm of a used car salesman peddling a lemon. “Laissez-faire regulations that favor corporations, health care and wages that again favor big business at the expense of ordinary workers.”

Mitch chimed in, his drawl thick as molasses, “Let’s not forget big business trickle-down economic policies that also favor large employers and leave middle America behind.”

“Ahh…gotcha.” Dawn’s voice dripped with sarcasm, her eyes glinting with amusement as if she’d just witnessed a chicken trying to play chess. “Guys, that’s a really bad deal,” she said, her tone flat, like a teacher explaining gravity to a room full of kindergarteners moonwalking in defiance of it.

“Ooooh…we’ve got a negotiator here,” Mike said, his grin stretching like he’d just struck oil in his backyard.

“Um no. I’m not negotiating,” Dawn retorted, crossing her arms, her posture unyielding as a barricade at a protest rally.

But yet, the negotiating began.

“Okay—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—Miss McGill,” Mitch began, leaning forward, his face earnest as a boy scout pledging an oath he intended to break, “we’ll even throw in a half-assed promise to root out deep state bureaucrats and keep out activist judges who undermine legislate from the bench and thwart the will of the people…”

“…while maintaining the status quo for the Washington D.C. beltway elites to continue to prosper while middle America withers on the vine like they have for the past 25 years,” Mike concluded, nodding gravely as though he’d just offered her the keys to Fort Knox instead of a ticking time bomb.

“Really?” Dawn’s eyebrows arched toward the heavens, her incredulity wrapped in a thin veneer of politeness.

“That’s our final offer,” Mike said, his tone suggesting he’d laid down a royal flush when all he had was a pair of twos.

At that moment, Dawn’s cell phone cut through the stale air, its ringtone a brash country riff that made both men jump. “Um, no. If you’ll excuse me,” she said, plucking the phone from her desk with the urgency of a surgeon answering a Code Blue.

“Hello?” Her voice shifted from sardonic detachment to sharp concern. “WHAT? (pause) I’ll be right there.” She ended the call, her face now a mask of alarm, any trace of mockery washed away by genuine distress.

“Sorry guys…duty calls.” Dawn bolted from her chair, legs striding across the room in a sprint, each step echoing off the walls like the pounding of a judge’s gavel. She slammed the door behind her, leaving a silence that hung heavy and uncomfortable.

“Ah, the old pretend an emergency has come up and shut the door in our face trick!” Mike scoffed, bitterness seeping into his voice like whiskey through a cracked glass. He muttered, more to himself than to McConnell, a desperate hope clinging to his words like rust to iron, “She’ll come back. They always do. Right, Mitch?…… Mitch?”

But Mitch’s attention was fixated on the glossy photo from Dawn’s recent Henhouse layout spread – the one where she posed provocatively behind the ring post, her perfect body contorted in alluring angles, her arms strategically placed to cover up any hint of modesty. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her sultry gaze and exposed skin.

“Mitch?” Mike’s voice broke through his reverie.

But Mitch remained silent and motionless, frozen in place and staring at the photo.

“MITCH!” Mike whapped him hard on the shoulder and snapped him out of it.

“What?”

“Let’s just go,” Mike said with defeat laced in his tone, sensing the futility of their situation.

Dawn briskly walked out of the bustling office, her heels clicking against the polished marble floors. As she turned the corner, she ran into… Hakeem Jeffries from New York and Chuck Schumer, with his thick New York accent, leaders of the Progressive Alliance.

“There she is!” Hakeem exclaimed in a falsely upbeat tone. “We’ve been searching for you.”

Dawn forced a polite smile. “Hakeem, Chuck. What can I do for you?”

“We knew that the American Patriots might be stopping by tonight to try and sway you towards joining the Red Brand,” Hakeem stated confidently.

Dawn couldn’t hide her disappointment. “Really?”

Chuck chimed in, “We wanted to present you with an opportunity… make you a better offer.”

Sighing, Dawn already knew what they were going to offer her. “Let me guess, an offer I can’t refuse?”

“Exactly,” Hakeem confirmed with a smug grin. “It’s time for PCW Heartland to come home…to the Blue Brand.”

Dawn couldn’t help but roll her eyes at their blatant attempts to recruit her. “Come home to the Blue Brand?” she repeated sarcastically.

“Yes,” Chuck continued eagerly. “The Progressive Alliance represents the underdogs, and our brand is perfect for them.”

“Okay,” Dawn replied half-heartedly.

But then Chuck revealed the catch. “Of course, your wrestlers would have to start from scratch at the bottom.”

“At the bottom?” Dawn repeated incredulously.

Hakeem nodded, holding up his hand as if to show how much lower their wrestlers would have to start compared to current Blue Brand members. “Well, we do have some wrestlers who are financially backed by our big-money supporters, so they would naturally take precedence over any newcomers.”

Chuck added, “And we must also consider seniority. Our current members have been with us longer and deserve to be at the top.”

Dawn pretended to contemplate their offer, but she knew it was a no-brainer. “As tempting as that sounds, I think I’ll pass.”

Hakeem’s smarmy smile faltered slightly. “I see. You want us to sweeten the deal,” he said, making a hand gesture that was supposed to represent adding something extra.

Dawn couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at his obvious attempt to bribe her.

Hakeem’s voice boomed through the boardroom, his words hitting like a sledgehammer. “We can throw in higher taxes, excessive regulations, artificial solutions to health care and wage stagnation-”

Dawn shifted uncomfortably on her feet, her eyebrows raised in skepticism.

“Artificial solutions?” she questioned, her tone sharp.

Chuck leaned forward eagerly, eager to add his two cents. “Big government trickle-down economic mandates versus doing the hard work to formulate concrete long-term solutions and promoting policies that create organic growth.”

Dawn let out an exasperated sigh. “Guys, that’s a bad deal.”

But Hakeem just grinned, clearly enjoying the verbal sparring. “Ooooh…we’ve got a haggler here,” he taunted.

“Yes we do,” agreed Chuck with a chuckle.

Dawn shook her head. “Um no. I’m not haggling.”

But despite her protests, the haggling commenced.

“Okay…and I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Chuck began. “…Miss McGill, we’ll even throw in political correctness…”

“…deep state bureaucrats and activist judges undermining the will of the people and making law from the bench…” interjected Hakeem.

“…and maintaining the status quo for the Washington D.C. beltway elites to continue to prosper while middle America withers on the vine as they have for the last 25 years,” finished Chuck triumphantly.

“Really?” Dawn replied with faux excitement.

“And last but not least…” Hakeem declared, pausing for dramatic effect before continuing. Suddenly, former PCW CEO Barack Obama appeared, a smug grin on his face.

“And I’ll be the first one to welcome all of the bitter clingers to the Blue Brand!” Obama announced, clearly relishing in the chaos.

Dawn’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at the unexpected guest. She had to give them credit – this was quite the show they were putting on.

“That’s our best offer,” Chuck declared with a satisfied smirk.

Dawn pretended to mull it over for a nanosecond before turning away abruptly. “Um, no. If you’ll excuse me.” With that, she quickly made her escape, sprinting down the hallway toward the gorilla position backstage.

“Oh…it’s the run away down the hall trick,” Hakeem mocked from behind her.

But Dawn didn’t look back. She had better things to do than entertain their ridiculous offers.

Right before she turned the corner and disappeared from sight, Chuck called out to her, “Oh, and by the way,” he called out. “Loved your photos in Henhouse!”

MAIN EVENT-The Iowa Caucus Match: Vivek Ramaswamy vs. Nikki Haley vs. Ron DeSantis vs. Donald Trump The arena reverberated with the roar of anticipation, its air electric with expectation as Johnny Suave’s voice boomed through the speakers. “It’s time for our Main Event,” he declared, his tone a blend of gravitas and glee, tailor-made for the spectacle that was about to unfold.

Ring announcer Kimber Marshall stepped into the limelight, her voice cutting clear and sharp across the din. “First up, Vivek Ramaswamy!” The newcomer strode down the ramp, his gaze locked on the squared circle that was both battleground and political proving ground. He slid beneath the bottom rope with a fluidity that belied his outsider status.

“Next, the pride of South Carolina, Nikki Haley!” Kimber continued. Haley emerged, her smile as polished as her campaign buttons, waving regally to an audience that responded with a mixture of cheers and jeers. Each step seemed measured, calculated—like her policies—designed to leave just the right impression as she approached ringside.

“Florida’s own, Governor Ron DeSantis!” With that announcement, DeSantis appeared, his presence commanding even before he struck a pose that was more campaign poster than wrestler. Swaggering toward the ring with the confidence of a man accustomed to weathering storms, both literal and political, he climbed onto the apron, nodding at the crowd as if already declaring victory.

“Finally,” Kimber’s voice rose above the crowd’s crescendo, “former CEO of PCW… Donald Trump!” A single spotlight stabbed through the darkness, aiming at an empty stage. Backstage, away from prying eyes, Trump loomed large in the shadows, telling an American Patriot official with that unmistakable bluster, “I’ll go out when I’m good and ready.”

“Typical,” Colleen Crowder sniped from her seat beside Suave, her words dripping with disdain. “He’s afraid to engage with the others.”

“Or,” Suave countered, his eyes alight with the drama unfolding before them, “Trump may not need to engage with the others to win.”

The bell rang, signaling the start of the match, and the fans erupted like a volcano of pent-up passion. DeSantis and Haley wasted no time, their brawl spilling out at ringside in a tangle of limbs and political platitudes made physical.

“Watch your back, Nikki!” Suave shouted as DeSantis ducked and dodged, only to catch a low kick from Haley. It was politics in motion—attack and counter-attack, each move a headline in the making.

But then, with the stealth of a silent amendment to a bill, Ramaswamy seized a steel chair and swung with legislative force, crashing it down on Haley, who collapsed like a poll number after a scandal. DeSantis seized the moment, lifting Ramaswamy in a Herculean effort and hurling him towards the ropes.

“Ramaswamy’s hanging on by a thread!” Colleen cried out, her voice carrying a mix of excitement and partisan concern.

DeSantis charged like a filibuster against the clock, but Ramaswamy clung to the ropes with a desperation born of someone who knew the stakes were higher than mere championship gold. Haley, recovering, hit Ramaswamy with a political haymaker, a SHOTGUN blast of raw power that set him teetering precariously.

“Can he survive this?” Suave questioned, leaning forward as if he could will the outcome with sheer vocal energy.

“Like a third-party candidate in a two-party system,” Colleen shot back, skeptical.

With the force of a controversial executive order, DeSantis delivered a dropkick that sent Ramaswamy flying over the top rope and crashing to the floor below, his campaign within the PCW effectively suspended.

“Ramaswamy’s out!” Suave bellowed, the finality in his voice akin to the closing of polls. “Now it’s down to DeSantis and Haley!”

ELIMINATED: Vivek Ramaswamy

As the action unfolded, the thoughts of each contender were laid bare, their strategies and ambitions as visible as the sweat on their brows. Would they adapt their tactics or stick to their platforms? The ring was their soapbox now, and the next move might just sway the undecided voters watching at home.

The ring became a gladiatorial arena of political prowess as the two remaining contenders circled each other. DeSantis, eyes alight with fierce determination, lunged for a chair, its steel glinting under the harsh lights like the sharp edge of a campaign promise.

“DeSantis is rewriting the rulebook!” Suave exclaimed, his voice rising above the roar of the crowd.

With a swing that echoed through the rafters, DeSantis connected with a WHAP that resounded like a damning headline against Haley’s skull. She staggered, her equilibrium shaken as if by a sudden shift in poll numbers. But Nikki Haley was no stranger to adversity; she gathered herself, grimacing, and launched a counterattack—a low kick that struck Ron like a scandalous leak, halting his momentum.

“Oooh, what a strategic move by Haley!” Colleen sneered, her words dripping with sarcasm. “Aiming below the belt—quite literally.”

As Haley fought back, unleashing a flurry of blows that reflected the tenacity of her political career, the crowd sensed a shift in the tides. But DeSantis parried, his resilience on full display as he swung the chair once more, striking true, another chairshot reverberating off the ropes. This time, Haley couldn’t recover. With an effort that seemed to channel the will of his constituents, DeSantis hurled her over the top rope, eliminating her from contention.

“An emphatic statement from DeSantis!” shouted Suave, as the audience gasped and cheered in equal measure.

“Ugh, it’s just like him to resort to such brute force,” Colleen muttered, rolling her eyes.

Then, as if on cue, the atmosphere shifted. The lights dimmed, and the unmistakable silhouette of Donald Trump emerged, commanding attention in the way only he could. His presence was larger than life, his stride filled with the swagger of a man who had tasted power and hungered for its return.

“Look who decided to show up,” Colleen quipped, her voice laced with disdain. “The former CEO graces us with his grand entrance.”

“Can Ron DeSantis pull off the big upset?” Suave pondered aloud, voicing the question on everyone’s mind.

“Absolutely not,” Colleen shot back before the action unfolded.

Trump rolled into the ring with the ease of someone accustomed to stepping onto the world stage. He surveyed his opponent with the critical eye of a man assessing his competition. Without warning, he executed a DDT so devastating it could’ve been a metaphor for a sudden policy shift. DeSantis crumpled, and Trump stomped away at him, each blow landing like a contentious tweet sparking outrage.

“Colleen, your thoughts?” Suave nudged, knowing full well the storm brewing beside him.

“Disgusting! He swoops in at the last minute and thinks he can just dominate the narrative!” Colleen fumed, her voice reaching a fever pitch.

Undeterred, Trump prepared the final spectacle, setting up a table in the center of the ring with a showman’s flair. He hoisted DeSantis up, and with a BOOM that shook the foundations of the PCW itself, slammed him through the table. The crowd erupted, their chants of “PCW” pulsating through the arena like the heartbeat of a nation enthralled.

“Colleen is aghast… irate!” Suave narrated, capturing the moment.

“PCW doesn’t need this kind of leadership!” Colleen protested, but the deed was done. Trump pinned DeSantis: one… two… THREE!

“And Trump wins the Iowa Caucus match, seizing victory with the ruthlessness of a seasoned political combatant!” Suave declared, as confetti began to fall like promises from a campaign trail.

Colleen sank back, her face a mask of disbelief. In the ring, Trump stood triumphant, arms raised, basking in the adulation and controversy that followed him like his own shadow.

The confetti still drifted through the air like a snowstorm of red, white, and blue as Johnny Suave stood at the ringside, microphone in hand, his voice carrying over the din of the tumultuous crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, what a seismic night we’ve witnessed here at PCW’s Iowa Caucus match!” His eyes sparkled with the reflection of the spectacle, a ring seasoned with the grit of political ambitions.

“Seismic? More like a sham,” Colleen Crowder retorted sharply, her words cutting through the festive atmosphere with the precision of a well-aimed policy critique. “This wasn’t a victory for democracy; it was a victory for grandstanding.”

“Say what you will, Colleen,” Suave countered, “but tonight, the former CEO of PCW, Donald Trump, showed why he’s a force to be reckoned with. Huge win for him tonight!”

Colleen sighed audibly, pressing a hand to her temple as if trying to massage away the headache of partisan politics. “Johnny, the real winner tonight is Joe Biden. While these candidates were busy brawling in the ring, Biden’s been strategizing, preparing. Trump can’t beat Joe Biden and this… spectacle—it’s just noise.”

Suave nodded, acknowledging her point but not conceding an inch. “Noise or not, next week PCW rolls into New Hampshire, and the stakes are even higher! We’ll see Joe Biden in action, along with Trump, DeSantis, and Haley. The political arena is heating up, folks!”

“New Hampshire won’t be so easily swayed by theatrics,” Colleen mused, her gaze lingering on the empty ring now being cleared of debris. She imagined the upcoming battles, the strategies unwinding, the alliances forming and dissolving. “Real leadership will stand out there… I hope.”

“And speaking of hope, that’s all we have time for tonight, folks!” Suave said.

“Unbelievable,” Colleen muttered under her breath, her skepticism a stark contrast to Suave’s infectious enthusiasm.

“Goodnight, and we will see you in New Hampshire.” With a final flourish, Suave dropped his hand, the spotlight dimming on his figure as the screen faded to black. “See you next week!” he concluded.

0 notes

pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

Text

PCW-The Return

How did we get here?

Extreme Election Night 2020 Preview December 27, 2020 Preview of PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020 -15th Anniversary Celebration -The 2020 Year in Review -Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden

PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One December 31, 2020 –Donald Trump and Joe Biden both interview for the PCW CEO position -ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) -SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Deplorables: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020-Part Two January 4, 2021 -ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) vs. Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) -HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots -MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) -Who will be named the new CEO of PCW? Donald Trump or Joe Biden.

Riot Breaks Out at PCW Show January 10, 2021 -‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, and the Vice Squad’s General DeBauchery rescue Dawn McGill and race to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon -Colleen Crowder celebrates Joe Biden’s win and the success of the Progressive Alliance at Extreme Election Night 2020 -GEORGIA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue (American Patriots) -PCW CEO Donald Trump promo -Kevin Scott interview -Kevin Daniels interview -PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) © vs. ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots)

Replay of The End of PCW Extreme Political TV – January 10th, 2021 After rescuing Dawn McGill and driving back to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon for the show, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and McGill arrive at Hack’s to find it in ruins following the riot that took place. McGill gets a sinking stomach in her stomach and mutters ‘Oh my God.’ McAvay tells the officer Dawn McGill is the owner of PCW and the officer motions to them to park the car away from the building. After Ray parks the car, he and Dawn walk towards Hack’s they begin to see the full scope of damage. Broken windows. Glass all over the place. Chairs, tables broken in the parking lot.

They reach the entrance and look inside. Ray says they ‘trashed the place.’ Tables and chair strewn all over. The wrestling ring destroyed. Broken light fixtures. Glass all over the floor. Beer and alcohol all over the floor. The owner of the bar meets Dawn in the foyer and explains like other small businesses thanks to COVID they were in trouble already. He works hard. Does the right things. Makes the right choices. And this happens. McGill tries to apologize to him. He just shakes his head and hands her a torn up contract. McGill peers down at the remnants of the document in her hands. Then it gets worse.

Coke Brothers (David and Charles), George Moros- big money political financiers, the founder of the Alan Lincolns Project Alan Lincolns, and Big Tech’s Jack Buckenberg- CEO of Facetwitogram approach Dawn. Moros refers to Dawn’s relatively disheveled appearance and says ‘aren’t you a sight’ to her. McGill’s face turns beet red and she tells Moros he knows damn well what happened. His goons kidnapped and held her hostage for two months.

Moros replies all everyone saw on video was McGill running out on the show at Extreme Election Night and demands proof of the ‘kidnapping’ or else this just is another wild, baseless accusation.

Dawn goes to leap at Moros but McAvay stops her. Moros has a sick grin on his face. He tells her it’s over and she’s through. The Republicans and Democrats are both on board and they’re partnering with their new best friend Jack Buckenberg for a new political wrestling show that will be headed by someone you know and love.

Out of the smoke and rubble of the interior of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon walks the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann- McGill and PCW’s long-time nemesis. McAvay mutters ‘son of a bitch’ to himself. McGill? She says not him… anyone but him. McMann goes up to McGill. He smiles and tells her she’s really let herself go. Again, McGill starts to make an aggressive move forward. Again, McAvay pulls her back. McMann brags that it took sixteen years but he’s finally won. Game over.

Then Buckenberg delivers the coup de grace. He tells McGill consider PCW deplatformed.

A few minutes later…McGill, McAvay, and ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave watch Mr. McMann- backed by The Coke Brothers, George Moros, and Alan Lincolns- give an impromptu press conference attended by The Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves: Colleen Crowder-New York Times, Sharon Johns-CNN, Bill Smithers-Fox News, Hallie Reed-MSNBC, and Dan Miller-Washington Post. Suave muses that the writer of the movie ‘The Running Man’ may have called the transformation of politics, society, and culture right on the money. A dejected McGill notes the enthusiastic applause coming from the Guild of Low Level Media people to McMann’s remarks.

Dawn McGill: So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.

Dawn McGill’s House- Wednesday January 20th, 2021 Seated in her favorite comfy chair, munching on a bowl of popcorn and drinking whiskey from a glass on an adjacent table, wearing her favorite sweatshirt and blue jeans, feet propped up on the entertainment stand complete with freshly painted red toenails shining in the light from the nearby lamp, Dawn watches the newly returned Political Wrestling Universe’s Blue Brand aka…PWU Political Shakedown show- live from Washington, D.C.

What’s happening? The official installation of Joe Biden as the new CEO of PCW.

Dawn pops a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth and reflects on what’s happened over the past three months: -the return of PCW and Extreme Election Night 2020- a night where the Progressive Alliance swept everything and took full control of the PCW Executive Committee. -her abduction at the hands of the big money financiers of both the Progressive Alliance (George Moros) and American Patriots (The Coke Brothers), aided and abetted by Alan Lincoln’s Project, during Extreme Election Night and subsequent detention for almost two months before The Deplorables came to her rescue. -the riot that took place at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon that destroyed the spiritual home of PCW for over 15 years which leads to the return of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and the end of PCW.

Sighing, she watches the star-studded, Hollywood-style production on TV and notices the heavy security on hand. She saw troops from the Space Force dressed in white and black with white helmets to usher in the beginning of new CEO of PCW Joe Biden’s tenure, the new CEO of PCW is delivering his acceptance speech.

Biden stands behind the podium. His wrinkled seventy-six year old face is covered in a dark shroud and his hands occasionally shoot out bolts of force lightning when he gesticulates…okay, maybe it doesn’t but still…

Joe Biden (from the television): People, supporters of Political Championship Wrestling, today we mark a transition. For years, PCW stood as the conduit for people who were fed up with the status quo, fed up with politics as usual. But there were those within our fan base who would set us against one another for we never suspected that the greatest threat came from within. These “supporters” conspired to create a shadow of doubt on my appointment aided and abetted by the previous PCW CEO.

Dawn stuffs another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

Joe Biden: The riot two and a half weeks ago left PCW scarred and deformed. But I can assure you my resolve has never been stronger. The war is over. The Trumpists been defeated, and the rebellion…… er…… I mean…… insurrection has been foiled. We stand on the threshold of a new beginning. With that in mind, in order to ensure the security and continuing stability and for a safe and secure society, Political Championship Wrestling will be reorganized into the Political Wrestling Universe and PCW will cease to exist.

Another sigh. Dawn then reaches over and takes a sip of whiskey.

Joe Biden: By bringing the political universal under our enlightened guidance, the corruption that plagued PCW in the past few years under the ownership of Dawn McGill will never take root ever again.

McGill rolls her eyes and chucks a piece of popcorn at the TV.

Biden then puts on what appears to be the same Infinity Gauntlet that Donald Trump used last year to end the Red and Blue Brand shows.

What Infinity Gauntlet you may ask?

[REPLAY: 5/2/2019-Extreme Political TV-Donald Trump (R-NY)] The CEO of Political Championship Wrestling Donald Trump explains why the Red Brand and Blue Brand went dark, shows were cancelled, and why PCW ran replays of shows from ten years ago over the past two weeks. Short and to the point, Trump states the current method of doing business with three brands wasn’t working so, he felt it was time to make a change.

Trump reaches under the podium and pulls out an Infinity Gauntlet (ie…the very same Infinity Gauntlet featured in the recent Avengers movie). He places said Infinity Gauntlet on his right hand. Trump raises his hand in the air.

Then he attaches a red stone to the gauntlet. Then he snaps his fingers and says Red Brand is no more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – let out a loud cheer.

Trump then attaches a blue stone to the gauntlet and snaps his fingers and proclaims the Blue Brand. No more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – groan.

Then Trump attaches a white and black stone with PCW written on it to the gauntlet. But this time he doesn’t snap his fingers. Trump announces he’d made PCW owner Dawn McGill a generous offer for PCW that sets her up for life and she accepted.

Cut back to Dawn’s living room.

Joe Biden: With this Infinity Gauntlet, with one snap of my fingers I brought back the Blue Brand show and here all of you are watching PWU’s Political Shakedown show. Also with one snap of my fingers, I brought back the Red Brand show- PWU’s Politico War – which will return next Monday night.

Biden pauses for applause.

Joe Biden: Under our New Order, our most cherished beliefs will be safeguarded. We will defend our ideals by force of arms.

Behind Biden, George Moros, The Coke Brothers, the CEO of Facetwitogram Jack Buckenberg, and the founder of the Alan Lincolns Project- Alan Lincolns, all approve and applaud.

The camera then focuses in on Berkeley, California professor- Professor McCarthy- and his Flock: -The Green World Order: GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA -The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idaho, and Anna -Code Pink, and Emily S. List

The Flock also applaud Biden’s speech and Professor McCarthy wipes a tear from his eyes while he holds up the ‘good book that spells out what’s correct and incorrect to think, say, and believe’

Next, the Hollywood Left and sports celebrities from all different walks signal their approval with applause.

Joe Biden: We will give no ground to our enemies and we will stand together against attacks from with or without. Let our enemies take heed. Those who challenge our resolve will be crushed.

The Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves: Colleen Crowder-New York Times, Sharon Johns-CNN, Bill Smithers-Fox News, Hallie Reed-MSNBC, and Dan Miller-Washington Post all heartily applaud this line.

Joe Biden: And now, with this Infinity Gauntlet, I will wipe out of existence once and for all- PCW.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann stands and claps. Dawn closes her eyes and braces herself as Biden snaps his finger and…

The Location of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon 2005-2021- Sunday January 31st, 2021 It’s 30 degrees outside and snowing. The area where Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon once stood is nothing more than a snow-covered field now. Dawn McGill and Johnny Suave are parked off the side of the road and staring out at where the former spiritual home of PCW for over fifteen years used to stand.

Sitting on the hood of the car, Dawn pours some whiskey into a pair of shot glasses. She hands one of the shot glasses to Suave and asks him what they should drink to. Suave gazes out into the now empty field and mutters something about good times and good memories. They clink their shot glasses together and down the shots.

She tells Suave that PCW Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels signed on with The Political Wrestling Universe’s Blue Brand show- PWU’s Political Shakedown. PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins has also signed with the Blue Brand. Jill Berg Enterprises signed with PWU’s Red Brand- PWU is Politico War. So basically, to go on means starting over.

Suave takes the whiskey bottle, tilts his head back, and downs another swig of whiskey directly from the bottle. He puts the bottle down on the hood of the car.

Johnny Suave: Well, that’s never stopped us before.

Close in on McGill: she smiles.

Political Wrestling Universe Headquarters – Washington D.C. – February 2021 So not one year after the last time PCW Owner Dawn McGill was hauled before the Executive Committee of the Political Universe for a hearing with the express purpose of determining whether or not she would be removed as the Executive Director of Political Championship Wrestling, they did it again in the aftermath of the riot that took place on January 6th at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

The hearing takes place before the Executive Committee of the Political Universe. You can cut through the tense atmosphere with a knife. It permeates throughout the hall. Dead quiet inside the hearing room save the occasional sound of a chair moving along the floor, the ruffle of paper, and most notably, the sound of several photographers snapping off shots in rapid fire fashion.

Sitting at a table cutting a solitary figure with a glass of water placed next to her elbow, Executive Director Dawn McGill one more time faced the stern glare of one Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Adam Schiff (D-CA). Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) is also there. This time, the hearing would include Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Chuck Schumer (D-NY).

McGill addresses the Executive Committee and demands to know why she is there when there are so many other pressing issues that need their immediate attention. She can’t believe for a second that there are more important matters to deal with than wasting time on a hearing over the reset of PCW once again. Nancy Pelosi offers a sour expression in response and cuts her off. She tells McGill she knows why she is here- the matter of the riot that took place in January l why you are here. The matter of the riot that took place last month at one of your…- Pelosi spits out the next word with a heaping helping of distain – …shows is an important matter and one more time brings her – Pelosi accentuates the next word with a hint of sarcasm added for extra emphasis- …leadership into question. Pelosi tells McGill what happened at the show was unacceptable and her continued ‘pathetic attempt at leadership’ was also unacceptable. If Pelosi had her way, she would have been removed as the owner of PCW last year.

McGill fired back that Pelosi was entitled to her opinion and she was entitled to be wrong. In Dawn’s opinion, the problem begins right here with the proliferation of the influence of special interest groups that fund both of big factions. She says let’s be honest and adds that she knows it’s something she knows is very hard for many of them to grasp. That crack causes Chuck Schumer to step in and inform McGill that she will ‘refrain from making further comments like that and show this committee the respect they deserve.’

Dawn McGill: With all due respect, Mr. Schumer, I’ll show you the same respect that you show the rest of us.

Later on, Dawn’s in the middle of answering a question and accuses the committee of influencing P-SPAN to take PCW off the air. Adam Schiff pops in and tells her PCW was not appropriate programming for a serious political channel. McGill claps back and tells Schiff the things that go on here isn’t appropriate programming for a serious political channel. She wants to know when does the Executive Committee get directly involved in programming matters on privately owned media networks? Schiff responds that she’s not listening and that PCW was not appropriate programming for P-SPAN.

The tone heats up even more. McGill snaps back that it’s not for them to decide because that’s the ‘people’s job. She says it’s obvious what happened- weight was thrown around and in the end the committee got their way. Schiff tries to defend their action and pronounces the committee has every right to oversee and regulate the product- especially after what happened at the insurrection that took place last month. McGill shoots back not to give her that crap and Schumer again admonishes her to refrain from that kind of talk. McGill tells Schumer she will not refrain and will persist. Schumer tries to interrupt her but McGill persists. She says it’s bad enough that every single aspect of American life has become politicized. Sports has been politicized. Entertainment has been politicized. Science- politicized. Education-politicized. In her opinion, to let this slide supports the status quo where big money equals power and leaves behind middle class America. She will not refrain. She will persist.

Schiff bangs his gavel down and calls for order. He slams the gavel down a second time

Adam Schiff: ORDER! Miss McGill, that’s enough! You are OUT OF ORDER!

Dawn shoots up from her chair and tells Schiff he’s out of order. She points at Nancy Pelosi and tells her she’s out of order! Then Mitch McConnell. She says the committee is out of order and she was done wasting my time talking to you. McGill grabs her stuff and motions to the Les Miserables inside the hall: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, his wife- West Texas Adult Entertainment Legend Stacee Perry, Bert the Janitor, and a whole section of people who stand up en masse at her beckoning.

Dawn McGill: We don’t need you. And you can all kiss my ass.

As all hell breaks loose, McGill defiantly marches out of the hearing room with the Les Miserables humming ‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’

Political Championship Wrestling PCW Arena 19th Street and Alcove Ave. Lubbock, TX

The Return McGill and Suave sit in the ring at the brand new PCW Arena built in Lubbock, Texas. McGill thanks everyone for sticking with them and announces that thanks to the help of some people that she will not name, PCW is back and ready to go.

Suave says for the return of PCW’s Extreme Political TV there will be a Television Title match, a Tag Team Title Match, and the PCW Title match. Who’s going to be wrestling? Suave says you’ll just have to tune in and see.

McGill adds one last parting shot before the preview show comes to and end.

Dawn McGill: ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and Jack Buckenberg- you can kiss my ass!”

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

Text

Riot Breaks Out at PCW Show

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Returns to the blue background with the top of the Capitol Building occupying the left hand side of the television screen with “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.” centered in the middle of the screen.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

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REPLAY: PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020-NOVEMBER 3rd, 2020 –The video screen comes to life.

Johnny Suave: “What the hell is going on?”

The video screen zeroes in on a scuffle backstage.

Who’s Involved? Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy’s Progressive Flock -The Green World Order: GreenPete, PeaceNick, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, Peta from PETA -The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idaho, and Anna the foul-mouthed sidekick -Code Pink and Emily S. List -The League of Anti-Fascists: Ted and Chaz

American Heartland Coalition -Charlie Blackwell -‘PCW’s Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

Johnny Suave: “Professor McCarthy’s Flock are beating down Charlie Blackwell and Tessa Martin. Both are scheduled to wrestle later on in the evening!”

Colleen Crowder: “It looks like a peaceful protest to me, Johnny.”

Blackwell gets flung into the wall by GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee. Code Pink glitter bombs Tessa – she’s blinded. Emily S. List then DDT’s her to the floor.

“Yeah. Totally peaceful,” Suave says in a tone totally dripping with sarcasm.

Dawn immediately rolls out of the ring and takes off for the back…

…

…PCW cameras find Charlie Blackwell and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin laid out on the floor backstage being attended to by Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew. Also on hand, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and the Deplorables.

No sign of Professor McCarthy’s Flock.

More worrying, no sign of PCW Owner Dawn McGill. One of the Deplorables finds a heel shoe McGill was wearing on the floor and brings it to McAvay.

McAvay asks if anyone’s seen McGill? The PCW Clean-Up Crew tell him the only people they found were Blackwell and Martin.

McAvay immediately sends the Deplorables out to look for Dawn McGill. (END VIDEO)

RURAL COMPOUND THE AFTERNOON OF WEDNESDAY JANUARY 6TH, 2021 ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, and the Vice Squad’s General DeBauchery have snuck onto an estate. All four lie on the ground, dressed in military-ish garb, armed and dangerous.

McAvay peers at a building ahead of them through a pair of binoculars and tells the others to be on ‘standby.’

General DeBauchery peers through the sights of a big sniper-like gun.

General DeBauchery: Set.

McAvay counts down from 3, 2, 1. General DeBauchery shoots out a window and Bryan throws a concussion grenade through the opening.

*KA-BOOM*

Ray McAvay: MOVE!

The group charges forward.

Charlie Blackwell kicks in the door. Inside, they find two guards on the floor.

Footsteps.

Two more men rush in. General DeBauchery cocks his weapon and fires. He hits both guards in their legs. They fall. Bryan and Blackwell disarm the pair.

McAvay motions to one of the guards.

Ray McAvay: Where is she?

General DeBauchery points his gun at the guard to add a little incentive. The guard points towards one of the back rooms. McAvay heads there and opens the door.

Dawn McGill: MMMPPHHH!

McAvay finds McGill tied up on the floor. Hair disheveled and wearing the same clothes she wore at Extreme Election Night 2020. He removes the gag.

Dawn McGill: Took you guys long enough.

Ray McAvay: Yeah, we’re not really all that experienced with this type of armed commando raid.

McAvay unties her and helps the owner of PCW to her feet. It takes a second for Dawn to get her bearings and her balance back.

Ray McAvay: We need to get to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon…NOW!

McAvay then explains the issue. If the January 6th show does not take place, PCW will default on its contract with Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon and Dawn could lose the show all together to The Coke Brothers and George Moros.

McGill tells McAvay she’ll make sure the show happens. McAvay hands her his cell phone and she makes a call.

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Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, Ohio Taped Wednesday January 6th, 2020 Sunday January 10th, 2021

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Suave reviews what went down at Extreme Election Night in November.

RESULTS FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020 -PCW Owner Dawn McGill welcomes everyone back to PCW. She then announces a ‘compromise’ deal had been reached with Mitch McConnell (American Patriots) and Nancy Pelosi (Progressive Alliance)- ‘Stars N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott of the American Patriots with Donald Trump in his corner will face ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels from the Progressive Alliance with Joe Biden in his corner and Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition for the PCW Title. At the end of the show, Dawn would then announce who the new CEO of PCW will be: either Donald Trump (American Patriots) or Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance) -MATCH #1-Kayleigh McEnaney defeats CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter in a handicap match -MATCH #2/ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) defeated Martha McSally (American Patriots) -Gavin Newsom (CA-Progressive Alliance) makes a case for PCW to come to California. -MATCH #3/SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) defeated Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -Both Joe Biden and Donald Trump interview with PCW Owner Dawn McGill for the PCW CEO position. -MATCH #4/PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises (Conservative Inc./American Patriots) defeat The Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) and The Deplorables (American Heartland Coalition) -MATCH #5/ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) vs. Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) joined in progress.

The show is stopped at that point by Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams- all from the Progressive Alliance.

-When the show restarts, Tuberville finishes off Jones. -Dawn McGill comes out and gives a second speech. But the video screen shows Professor McCarthy’s Flock assaulting Charlie Blackwell and Tessa Martin. Dawn Immediately runs to the back. -MATCH #6/HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Team Progressive Alliance defeats Team American Patriots -Backstage, Blackwell and Tessa are being attended to by Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up crew. Neither Professor McCarthy’s Flock nor Dawn McGill can be found. McGill’s heel is found on the scene. -MATCH #7/MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) defeated John James (American Patriots). -Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew are back at work attending to Ray McAvay, who’s found backstage after being attacked. Still no sign of Dawn McGill. -The Coke Brothers-Charles and David, Executive Director of the Lincoln Project Sarah Lenti, and George Moros are pleased with the direction the night is going. -MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) defeated ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen to become the new PCW Women’s Champion. -Bill de Blasio (NY-Progressive Alliance) makes a case for PCW to come to New York City. -MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) defeated ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott to become the new PCW Champion. -With McGill missing, The Coke Brothers, Lenti, and Moros step in and name Joe Biden the new CEO of PCW.

Cut to the broadcast desk.

PCW! … PCW! … PCW! …

Colleen Crowder pops a bottle of champagne. Tonight, she doesn’t care about the PCW chant that usually offends her to no end.

Johnny Suave: Hello and welcome to Political Championship Wrrrrestling!

PCW! … PCW! … PCW! …

Crowder leans back and guzzles some the champagne.

Johnny Suave: We are back at the spiritual home of PCW, Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon!

Suave pauses for the requisite roar from the fans- who seem really amped up more than usual tonight.

Johnny Suave: Tonight, we’ve got the Georgia Medallion match which will be a tag team battle between the American Patriots David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler versus Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock from the Progressive Alliance in a winner take all match between both factions.

Colleen Crowder: Woo-hoo! Stacey Abrams says bet on the blue tonight baby!

Johnny Suave: Also tonight, after the controversial end to their match two months ago at Extreme Election Night 2020, PCW Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels of the Progressive Alliance will face ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott for the title.

Colleen Crowder: There was nothing controversial about the match Johnny.

Suave points out to Colleen the fact since there was no pinfall in the match at Extreme Election Night 2020 and an unknown referee came in late and declared Daniels the winner constitutes ‘controversial’ in his mind.

Colleen Crowder: You’re lucky the CEO of Facetwitogram Jack Buckenberg isn’t here to properly fact check your false statement you presented without evidence.

Johnny Suave: Finally. We have word that Dawn McGill has finally been rescued.

Another roar from the crowd.

Johnny Suave: That’s right. She is on her way to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon as we speak and we hope she makes it to tonight’s show in time.

Colleen Crowder: No we don’t.

DAWN McGILL! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) DAWN McGILL! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Johnny Suave: Well, the crowd is definitely making their feeling known.

Colleen Crowder: And no one cares, Johnny. The media sets the tone and tells them what they need to know.

Suave does a quick buildup of the opening match. The Progressive Alliance and American Patriots split the Senate Medallion matches at Extreme Election Night 2020. –ARIZONA: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) defeated Martha McSally (American Patriots) -SOUTH CAROLINA: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) defeated Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -ALABAMA MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) vs. Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) -MICHIGAN MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) defeated John James (American Patriots).

Johnny Suave: Tonight’s match will break that tie. Let’s go to the ring and Kimber Marshall.

Cut to Kimber in the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. This match will be…

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: …for the Georgia Senate Medallions and to determine the winner of the Senate Medallion Competition. Introducing first, in the blue corner. Representing the Progressive Alliance. Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff.

Some cheers. Lots of boos.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents. In the red corner. Representing the American Patriots. Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue!

Lots of cheers. Some boos.

Johnny Suave: All right. It looks like the referee is ready and this match is underway.

******************************************

MATCH #1-GEORGIA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH

Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue (American Patriots)

******************************************

It’s a close match. A really close match. Both teams battle back and forth to forge any advantage they can.

…Ossoff lets go and he latches on a waistlock to Perdue. Perdue reverses. Ossoff reverses back and snags an armbar. Perdue scowls. He spins Ossoff around and trips him up. But Ossoff holds on to the arm. Perdue reverses. He unleashes a couple of chops. Boot to the gut by Ossoff. Perdue with more chops. Ossoff again boots Perdue in the gut. Knee lift wobbles Perdue to a corner. Ossoff runs in, but Loeffler is there with a chair!

*CLANG*

Down goes Ossoff. Perdue covers.

One…

Two…

Johnny Suave: STACEY ABRAMS PULLS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!

Abrams grabs a chair.

*CLANG*

Down goes the referee.

Warnock runs Loeffler into the ring post. She’s knocked into dreamland.

Perdue starts to move a little. Ossoff lays the boots to him. He pulls Perdue back up. Wheelbarrow takedown! Cover! A new referee slides in.

Colleen Crowder: See? There’s no problem. The referee is back in the ring.

One-Two-THREE!

*DING-DING-DING*

WINNERS/GEORGIA SENATE MEDALLION: Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff @ 12:32

Johnny Suave: And that gives the Senate Medallion competition to the Progressive Alliance.

There are some Progressive Alliance supporters at the show tonight but the bulk of the PCW fans boo what happened. A few throw debris into the ring.

Colleen Crowder: Stacey Abrams knew what she was talking about when she said bet on Blue Johnny. Blue Wave! Blue Wave! Take that, sore losers!

IN TRANSIT A speeding vehicle blows past a highway patrolman parked off to the side on the Ohio Turnpike.

Inside the vehicle are The Deplorables: Ray McAvay, Charlie Blackwell, William Daniels Bryan, General DeBauchery of the Vice Squad, and PCW Owner Dawn McGill.

McGill just wraps up a phone call.

Dawn McGill: The first match is over. Ossoff and Warnock won. The Progressive Alliance won the Senate Medallion contest.

Ray McAvay: Wow. The Progressive Alliance is sweeping everything now.

McGill asks what happened after she was kidnapped at Extreme Election Night. McAvay explains the ending of the PCW title match when the PCW referee was pulled out of the ring, incapacitated, and then replaced by another ‘unknown’ referee who then declared ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) the winner of the match. The Coke Brothers, George Moros, and Lincoln Project Executive Sarah Lenti came out next and then named Joe Biden as the next PCW CEO.

Dawn McGill: Oooh. I’m sure Trump took that well.

Ray McAvay: Oh yeah. He didn’t.

McAvay then runs through the aftermath. Trump’s challenge of the ruling. Rudy Giuliani and his team trying to get Trump reinstated for a second four year term as PCW CEO.

Dawn McGill: I’m sure that didn’t go well.

Ray McAvay: Nope. Trump lost at every turn. Even the PCW Super Court of Justice shot him down, even after Sidney Powell threatened to ‘release the kraken.’

Dawn McGill: Release the kraken?

McAvay nods.

Dawn McGill: And what happened when she released said kraken?

McAvay chuckles.

Ray McAvay: Absolutely nothing. So, now Trump’s supposed to speak tonight. I don’t think he’ll concede but it’s over.

McGill checks her watch and urges McAvay to hurry.

But there’s a slight problem. McAvay glances at his rear view mirror.

Flashing red and blue lights.

Ray McAvay: Damn.

Dawn McGill: Ray! Really?

McGill flops back in the backseat and sighs.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

The crowd is really rowdy tonight- loud, boisterous, almost to the point of being surly and agitated.

Johnny Suave: Well. There’s definitely a lot of emotion flowing through here tonight.

Colleen Crowder: Because they’re excited.

Suave agrees with that.

Colleen Crowder: These people are excited that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are about to ride in to rescue PCW from Donald Trump.

Suave doesn’t agree with that.

Colleen Crowder: Well, that’s the narrative we’re pushing-

The fans explode and immediately drown Crowder out.

Johnny Suave: Hold on a second.

Donald Trump appears and makes his way down the ramp.

Johnny Suave: The CEO of PCW is coming to the ring and he’s apparently going to make a statement.

Colleen Crowder: BOOOOOOO!

The supporters chant “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” which merges with the melody of the Imperial March from Star Wars and becomes:

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

As Trump reaches the ring and climbs in, Crowder mumbles something about January 20th not getting here soon enough.

Trump thanks everyone for being here tonight under extraordinary circumstances. He vowed to ‘never concede’ which revved the crowd up.

Donald Trump: You saw what happened at Extreme Election Night 2020. We will never give up. We will never concede. You don’t concede when there’s theft involved. It will never happen. We’ve had enough and we will not take it anymore.

The fans again stand and cheer.

Johnny Suave: Strong words coming from the outgoing PCW CEO and he’s really getting the PCW faithful fired up here.

Colleen Crowder: This is all a regurgitation of Trump’s false assertions and unproven claims that he was robbed of the CEO position, nothing more. Joe Biden won. Donald Trump lost. Believe our narrative everyone. Believe our narrative.

Trump talks for a couple more minutes and then wraps it up.

Donald Trump: We will not let them silence your voices. We’re not going to let that happen.

And with that, Trump makes his exit.

Johnny Suave: All right, let’s go backstage where PCW reporter Woodward Bernstein is with the challenger in tonight’s PCW title match- ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott.

KEVIN SCOTT INTERVIEW Cut to Bernstein backstage…

Woodward Bernstein: Thanks Johnny.

Scott steps into the shot.

Woodward Bernstein: How does it feel to be back in PCW?

Kevin Scott: It feels real good Woodward.

Scott ruminates about being PCW’s Original Rookie Sensation back in 2006-2007 and winning the PCW title for the first time back in 2008.

WAYBACK MACHINE: PCW Day of Judgment- March 4th, 2008 Starz N. Stripes Kevin Scott (American Patriots) vs. O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) vs. Halitosis (Independent) in a three way elimination match for the PCW Title -Halitosis eliminated first via a Starz N. Stripes piledriver. – …Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz bounces up, lifts him up, and back suplexes Bahama. A second back suplex by Starz. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover. 1…2…3!

WINNER AND NEW PCW CHAMPION: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott.

Woodward Bernstein: Kevin, I know what happened two months ago at Extreme Election Night 2020 was extremely disappointing to you. Tonight, though, you get another shot at Mr. Hollywood, Kevin Daniels.

Kevin Scott: That’s right Woodward. I’ve been waiting for this moment for over two months because I did not lose that match at Extreme Election Night 2020. Kevin Daniels did not pin me. There was no one-two-three pinfall. I did not submit. I was not counted out. Daniels was given the title and… I’m sorry, that’s not going to fly.

Woodward Bernstein: So, suffice to say, you’re plenty motivated.

Kevin Scott: Oh you bet I am.

Woodward Bernstein: Can you do it one more time?

Scott smiles.

Kevin Scott: Watch me. I’m going to do it tonight.

Woodward Bernstein: Thanks Kevin.

Scott exits.

‘MR. HOLLYWOOD’ KEVIN DANIELS INTERVIEW Cut to the Progressive Alliance locker room.

Dan Miller ‘Low Level Washington Post Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns ‘Low Level CNN Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Interview with PCW champion “Mr. Hollywood” Kevin Daniels.

Dan Miller: Kevin. Starz N. Stripes Kevin Scott is sadly making the unsubstantiated claim that you did not defeat him at Extreme Election Night 2020. Your thoughts.

Kevin Daniels: Dan, I beat him. The crowd saw me beat him. The referee said I beat him. The referee is the final arbiter in these matters and I didn’t see PCW Owner Dawn McGill sticking her nose in to say anything different. So I won. I’m the champion. Kevin Scott needs to get over it.

Daniels points to the PCW title belt around his waist to further make his point.

Sharon Johns: So Kevin. With the win, I heard you received a lot of well wishes and congratulations from your fellow Hollywood stars.

Kevin Daniels: Absolutely.

Daniels goes on to name check just about every major Hollywood star, sports figures, you name it, Daniels name checks it, who reached out and congratulated him on winning the PCW title.

Kevin Daniels: Hollywood knows a champion when they see one. And that’s me. Mr. Hollywood. Kevin Daniels. YOUR PCW champion.

Sharon Johns: Thanks Kevin and make sure you kick Kevin Scott’s ass tonight.

Kevin Daniels: With pleasure.

STILL ON THE ROAD Still rolling westbound on the Ohio Turnpike, a harried and anxious Dawn McGill is on the phone again.

Dawn McGill: …what? The main event is about to start? But we’re still …

McGill spies a mile marker.

Dawn McGill: …sixty-five miles away!

She leans forward in her seat and whaps McAvay on the shoulder. McAvay reacts.

Ray McAvay: Hey! I’m driving as fast as I can without picking up a SECOND speeding ticket!

McGill wraps up the call and again falls back in her seat. She shakes her head.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: All right. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our main event. Let’s go to Kimber Marshall in the ring. Kimber?

Cut to Kimber in the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, this match will be…

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Kimber Marshall: …and it will be for the PCW Title! Introducing first, the challenger…

Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue comes on.

Kimber Marshall: From Ottumwa, Iowa and representing the American Patriots tonight in the red corner. He is a former 2 time PCW Champion, a former PCW Television Champion, and former PCW Tag Team Champion. PCW’s Original ‘Rookie Sensation.’ STARZ N. STRIPES… KEVIN! SCOTT!

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott –former 2 time PCW Champion, PCW Television Champion, and PCW Tag Team Champion (as Starz N. Stripes). PCW’s Original ‘Rookie Sensation.’ HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 250, HOME: Ottumwa, IA / FIN: American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar

Scott comes out dressed in a red, white, and blue signet and mask. He stops on the stage and poses for the PCW faithful who give Scott a massive standing ovation.

Johnny Suave: After Trump’s speech, the crowd energy level has hit a different level. They are really making a lot of noise here tonight.

Crowder harrumphs and tells Suave it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent, from Hollywood, California-

The cheers turn on a dime to boos. Big time boos.

Kimber Marshall: He is accompanied tonight by The Skanky Rich Bimbos-Paris and Nicole, and ‘Country…er…Pop Songstress’ Taylor Switt. The PCW Champion. Ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Hollywood. KEVIN DANIELS!

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels HT: 6′ 0″ WT: 200 / HOME: Hollywood, CA / FIN: The True Hollywood Blockbuster VALETS: The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Paris and Nicole) and ‘Country…er…Pop Songstress’ Taylor Switt

******************************************

MAIN EVENT-PCW TITLE MATCH

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) © vs. ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots)

******************************************

The boos and jeers intensify. Again, debris flies towards the new PCW champion.

Johnny Suave: Kevin Daniels is getting a rough reception here tonight. I’d almost say too rough if you ask me.

Colleen Crowder: Nobody’s asking you… but you’re right.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy also comes out followed by his Flock: -The Green World Order: GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA -The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idaho, and Anna -Code Pink, and Emily S. List.

Johnny Suave: Wonderful. And just when you thought the evening couldn’t get any worse.

Colleen Crowder: Finally. Someone needs to set these people straight and tell them to shut up.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Professor McCarthy: Well, well.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

McCarthy smirks and waits for the crowd.

Professor McCarthy: You can do this all night long and it won’t mean a damn thing. We have won several great victories here in the last two months.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Professor McCarthy: That’s right, one- we’ve taken out Dawn McGill. Two, we’ve taken down Donald Trump. Three- we’ve finally shouted down the Deplorables, removed Deplorables Charlie Blackwell and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin as viable threats and made sure ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels was crowned as the rightful PCW champion, Kathryn Randall Collins- the rightful PCW Women’s champion and we’ve taken measures to ensure Deplorables Ray McAvay and William Daniels Bryan won’t be allowed near the PCW Tag Team title.

McCarthy holds up his good book that defines things that are correct or incorrect to say, think, or believe.

Professor McCarthy: Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you are unenlightened, if you are DEPLORABLe and I’m talking to ALL of you in ‘flyover country,’ red states and, counties all across the nation who aren’t as worldly or intellectually superior as we are, it’s time for you to shut up and listen to your betters. It’s time for you to throw your support towards us…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Johnny Suave: Yeah, they’re not really going along with that.

Professor McCarthy: …because if you don’t, we will shout you down.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Professor McCarthy: So sit down and shut up and watch your PCW champion shout down ‘Starz N. Stripes-

And more debris rain down from all parts of the bar.

Johnny Suave: He’s not helping.

Colleen Crowder: He’s absolutely right Johnny. According to the narrative we’re pushing, these people are simply deplorable and they need to shut up and stay in their lane.

At one point, Daniels points at someone and threatens to turn around and head to the back.

Johnny Suave: No, this is not good. Not good at all.

Daniels takes a few more steps forward and more debris is chucked his way. Even Starz N. Stripes Kevin Scott takes notice and he tries to calm people down.

The SRB and Switt do turn around and head to backstage.

Colleen Crowder: This is all Donald Trump’s fault. He encouraged this. He incited these idiots with his words.

Johnny Suave: Well, whether I agree with that or not, we’re going to have to get security out here before something happens.

Well, it does.

Legion of Anti-Fascists (LOAF) Ted HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 180 / HOME: Portland, OR FIN: The Riot Act Chaz HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 205 / HOME: Seattle, WA FIN: The Riot Act

Ted and Chaz also run down from the back and they start jawing with the crowd.

Johnny Suave: Oh crap.

Then it kicks off. LOAF disappears into the roiling crowd and all hell breaks loose.

Johnny Suave: Oh no.

Fights break out and debris fly all over the place.

Daniels hightails it to the back. Scott tries to play peacemaker. And it just falls apart.

Johnny Suave: We’re going to have to evacuate our broadcast position and get to safety.

Scott helps marshall Suave and Crowder through the unruly mob of humanity.

Suddenly, the picture goes black.

ONE HOUR LATER-HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON PARKING LOT. McAvay pulls into the parking lot full of flashing red and blue lights and plenty of police.

Ray McAvay: Uh oh.

McGill sees it too and she gets a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Dawn McGill: Oh my God.

One of the policemen walks up to the car. McAvay tells the officer Dawn McGill is the owner of PCW. He motions to them to park the car away from the building.

After Ray parks the car, he and Dawn walk towards Hack’s they begin to see the full scope of damage. Broken windows. Glass all over the place. Chairs, tables broken in the parking lot.

Dawn McGill: Oh no.

They reach the entrance and look inside.

Ray McAvay: Oh man. They trashed the place.

Tables and chair strewn all over. The wrestling ring destroyed. Broken light fixtures. Glass all over the floor. Beer and alcohol all over the floor.

Dawn McGill: Oh no, no, no.

The owner of the bar meets her in the foyer.

Hack’s Owner: Like other small businesses we were in trouble to begin with thanks to COVID, I can’t survive this.

Dawn McGill: I am so sorry.

Hack’s Owner: You work hard. Do the right things. Make the right choices. And this happens. I’m having the place razed and closing it down.

He just shakes his head at Dawn. He hands her a torn up contract, and walks on.

McGill peers down at the remnants of the document in her hands.

Then it gets really worse.

She sees the Coke Brothers (David and Charles), George Moros, and… Big Tech’s Jack Buckenberg- CEO of Facetwitogram?

George Moros: Well, well, well. Aren’t you a sight?

Moros refers to Dawn’s disheveled appearance. McGill’s face turns beet red.

Dawn McGill: You know damn well what happened. Your goons kidnapped and held me hostage for two months.

George Moros: Really? All I saw on video was you running out on the show at Extreme Election Night? Do you have any proof of this or is this just another wild, baseless accusation?

Dawn goes to leap at Moros but McAvay stops her.

Moros has a sick grin on his face.

George Moros: It’s over, Dawn. You’re through. I’ve already spoken to the American Patriots and Progressive Alliance and we’ve got everyone on board. We’re partnering with our new best friend Jack Buckenberg for a new political wrestling show that will be headed by someone you know and love.

Out of the smoke and rubble of the interior of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon walks the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann- McGill and PCW’s long-time nemesis.

Ray McAvay: Son of a bitch.

Dawn McGill: Balls. Not him. Anyone but him.

McMann goes up to McGill. He smiles.

Mr. McMann: Wow. You’ve really let yourself go, haven’t you.

Again, McGill starts to make an aggressive move forward. Again, McAvay pulls her back.

Mr. McMann: It took sixteen years Dawn, but I’ve finally won. Game over.

Then Buckenberg delivers the coup de grace.

Jack Buckenberg: Consider yourself deplatformed.

A few minutes later…

McGill, McAvay, and ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave watch Mr. McMann- backed by The Coke Brothers and George Moros- give an impromptu press conference attended by The Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves: Colleen Crowder-New York Times, Sharon Johns-CNN, Bill Smithers-Fox News, Hallie Reed-MSNBC, and Dan Miller-Washington Post.

Johnny Suave: Well? Who’da thunk that the writer of the movie ‘The Running Man’ may have had a pretty good vision what the future transformation of politics, society, and culture had in store for us?

A dejected McGill notes the enthusiastic applause coming from the Guild of Low Level Media people to McMann’s remarks.

Dawn McGill: So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]

THE END…

0 notes

pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

Text

PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020-Part Two

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Election Night 2020-Part Two Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, Ohio Taped Tuesday November 3rd, 2020 Sunday January 3rd, 2021

PART ONE-PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020 -PCW Owner Dawn McGill welcomes everyone back to PCW. She then announces a ‘compromise’ with Mitch McConnell (American Patriots) and Nancy Pelosi (Progressive Alliance) and ‘Stars N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott of the American Patriots with Donald Trump in his corner will face ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels from the Progressive Alliance with Joe Biden in his corner and Kevin Daniels of the American Heartland Coalition for the PCW Title. -McGill also announces that at the end of the show- she will announce who the new CEO of PCW will be: Donald Trump (American Patriots) or Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance) -MATCH #1-Kayleigh McEnaney defeats CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter in a handicap match -MATCH #2/ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) defeated Martha McSally (American Patriots) -Gavin Newsom (CA-Progressive Alliance) makes a case for PCW to come to California. -MATCH #3/SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) defeated Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -Both Joe Biden and Donald Trump interview with PCW Owner Dawn McGill for the PCW CEO position. -MATCH #4/PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises (Conservative Inc./American Patriots) defeat The Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) and The Deplorables (American Heartland Coalition) -MATCH #5/ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) vs. Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) joined in progress. The show is stopped at that point by Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams- all from the Progressive Alliance.

Cut to a replay of the end of PCW Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One:

EPILOGUE Darkened room. Dim light.

Shadows move around.

George Moros- billionaire financier of the Progressive Alliance.

The Coke Brothers- billionaire financiers of the American Patriots.

A door opens. Then closes.

Charles Coke: Sarah.

The woman is Sarah Lenti, executive director of the Lincoln Project- a group of American Patriots and former American Patriots dedicated to preventing Donald Trump from winning a second term as PCW CEO.

Sarah Lenti: What the hell is going on! I thought you had things under control.

David Coke: Sarah, I know things haven’t exactly gone to plan-

Sarah Lenti: Not gone to plan? Dawn McGill is still in control of PCW with all her ‘PCW is for the people’ bull-*BLEEP*.

George Moros tries to reassure her.

George Moros: Look. We stopped the show for the evening. That gives us time to figure this out.

Sarah Lenti: Dawn McGill is going to hand the reins of PCW to Donald Trump for another four years!

George Moros: No she won’t. Clearly, it’s time to take this to the next level.

Moros pulls out a cell phone and hits a button.

George Moros: It’s time. Operation Dominion is in effect.

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Crowd Chant: “PCW! PCW! PCW!…”

Suave welcomes everyone back for part two of PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020.

Colleen Crowder: “BLUE WAVE BABY!”

Johnny Suave: “Well, not quite.”

Suave introduces the Alabama Senate Medallion Match that was going to be shown via highlights on Extreme Election Night 2020 Part One.

VIDEO-Alabama Senate Medallion Match: Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) vs. Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) –Tuberville finishes off Jones. Cover. One – two – three!

WINNER: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots)

Johnny Suave: “Tommy Tuberville rolls past Doug Jones and that’s another win for the American Patriots.”

Colleen Crowder: Again, we the media have not called that match so there’s no winner.

Suave notes that with the win, the American Patriots hold a two match to one advantage over the Progressive Alliance and that it all comes down to the Gary Peters-John James match later on tonight.

Crowder objects again. “It’s one to nothing Progressive Alliance as both the earlier South Carolina match and the Alabama match have NOT been called by us,” Crowder maintains.

Suave rolls his eyes and runs through the lineup for tonight’s show.

FACTION WAR GAMES HOUSE MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots

MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) vs. ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)

MAIN EVENT/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels vs. ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

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For the second time at Extreme Election Night 2020, PCW Owner Dawn McGill makes her way out- this time she goes to the ring.

Dawn McGill “The 6 Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt” HT: 6’ 0″ WT: 130 / HOME: Dallas, TX FIN: McGill Bomb

Colleen Crowder: “What is SHE doing out here?”

Johnny Suave: “Um. She’s the owner of PCW. She’s got news to deliver?”

Colleen Crowder: “That’s OUR job! We determine what’s newsworthy for the people.”

Johnny Suave: “And that’s why Donald Trump uses Twitter to go around people like you.”

Colleen Crowder: “HEY!”

McGill climbs in. Suave sends to the ring for remarks from the owner of PCW.

TALKING BOUT HEROES The first thing Dawn McGill does is profusely thanks everyone who came to the show tonight.

Dawn McGill: “I keep saying this but you have to understand that I truly mean this. PCW isn’t about the big shots. PCW is all about YOU – the people. We do this for you.”

She then asks if there’s any first responders on hand tonight.

A few stand up.

Dawn McGill: “Let’s show them our appreciation.”

The crowd responds in kind and gives the first responders on hand an ovation.

Dawn then asks if there’s anyone here who recovered from having COVID. Again, a few people stand up and again the crowd gives out an ovation.

Colleen Crowder: “She’s just sucking up to the rabble.”

Johnny Suave: “Or she really means what she says and doesn’t have a narrative in mind.”

Crowder’s offended but McGill continues. She next asks if there’s anyone here tonight who runs a small business to please stand up.

Several do and they are greeted with an ovation from the PCW fans.

Dawn McGill: “Okay. Finally, everyone please stand up.”

They do.

Dawn McGill: “These have been unprecedented times. Yet, you’ve persevered. You’ve kept going. You’ve weathered or continue to weather the storm. You’re here. You are all heroes. Give yourself a hand.”

They do.

Dawn McGill: Thank you so much for coming out here tonight. You get it. But they don’t get it. Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer. They just don’t get it. Conservative Inc.- people if given the chance would sell our souls for the corporate dollar. They just don’t get it. So let me make this clear to everyone inside the Washington Beltway. PCW is-NOT-here-for-you.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dawn McGill: PCW is not here for the American Patriots. PCW is not here for the Progressive Alliance. PCW is not here for the big money special interest groups. PCW is here for YOU…

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dawn McGill: …the fans. People like me and people like you who pay their bills on time – don’t spend money they don’t have – who don’t run up debt with no intention of paying the money back. You know, the stuff the people inside the Washington D.C. beltway are unwilling or completely incompetent at doing.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen is momentarily startled by Suave’s outburst.

Johnny Suave: Dawn McGill just virtue signaled!

Crowder grumbled something under her breath but doesn’t actually respond- or maybe no one can’t hear her as the noise level is deafening

The video screen comes to life.

Johnny Suave: “What the hell is going on?”

The video screen zeroes in on a scuffle backstage.

Who’s Involved? Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy’s Progressive Flock -The Green World Order: GreenPete, PeaceNick, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, Peta from PETA -The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and Anna the foul-mouthed sidekick -Code Pink and Emily S. List -The League of Anti-Fascists: Ted and Chaz

American Heartland Coalition -Charlie Blackwell -‘PCW’s Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

Johnny Suave: “Professor McCarthy’s Flock are beating down Charlie Blackwell and Tessa Martin. Both are scheduled to wrestle later on in the evening!”

Colleen Crowder: “It looks like a peaceful protest to me, Johnny.”

Blackwell gets flung into the wall by GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee.

Code Pink glitter bombs Tessa – she’s blinded. Emily S. List then DDT’s her to the floor.

“Yeah. Totally peaceful,” Suave says in a tone totally dripping with sarcasm.

Dawn immediately rolls out of the ring and takes off for the back.

Johnny Suave: “While Dawn checks out the situation, let’s show some of the House War Games Match between the Progressive Alliance and the American Patriots.”

Suave explains that two years ago, the Progressive Alliance ended the American Patriots run of victories that dated back to 2010.

Colleen Crowder: Two years ago, the Progressive Alliance won a decisive victory. Tonight, our polling states they will win and win easily.

————————————————-

MATCH #6/HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots

American Patriots: Lauren Boebert (CO)) Burgess Owens (UT) Jim Jordan (OH) Kimberly Klacik (MD) Lee Haywood (NC)

vs.

Progressive Alliance: Adam Schiff (CA) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY) Deborah K. Ross (NC) Kathy Manning (NC) Ben McAdams (UT)

————————————————-

Johnny Suave: “The time limit is twenty minutes. Whomever has the most wrestlers left at the end of twenty minutes wins the match.”

Adam Schiff and Kimberly Klacik immediately lock up in the middle of the ring to start the match.

Johnny Suave: “Maryland’s Kimberly Klacik came out with a campaign video that went viral.”

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Johnny Suave: “She’s gained a lot of attention and she’s trying to be successful in a district that overwhelming supports the Progressive Alliance. How far can she go tonight in this match?”

Schiff pushes Klacik to the corner. Side head lock by Klacik, but Schiff breaks free and hits a drop kick. Then he near decapitates Klacik with a clothesline. Schiff covers. One. Two. Three.

Kimberly Klacik (American Patriots) eliminated.

Johnny Suave: “Apparently not that long.”

Colleen Crowder: “BLUE WAVE! IT’S A BLUE WAVE!”

Jim Jordan lands a punch to Schiff’s jaw but misses a kick. Ross misses a Pelé kick. Jordan rolls her up for a two count. Jordan hits a back drop to Ross and Lee Haywood whips her to the corner. Lauren Boebert levels Ross with a stiff punch. Burgess Owens tags Ben McAdams with a right hand. McAdams counters an Owens’s suplex into a sleeper – Owens flips him forward to break the hold and goes to work with a volley of kicks. Boebert goes after Manning’s ankle.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez charges around the ring and levels Boebert. Ocasio-Cortez rolls Boebert into the ring and goes to work on her. Jamaal Bowman tags Owens with a right hand. Bowman and Owens circle each other and then lock up in the middle of the ring. Bowman locks in a standing side head lock and goes for shoulder tackle, but Owens barely budges. Bowman misses a splash in the corner. Bowman lifts Owens onto his shoulder, but Owens escapes and lands on his feet. McAdams comes in and finally takes Owens off his feet. Head butt by McAdams and he works over Owens in the corner. McAdams runs the ropes and takes down Owens with a drop kick. McAdams for the pinfall – Owens kicks out. McAdams runs the ropes again – Owens catches McAdams on the return with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Owens hooks the leg. One. Two. Three.

Ben McAdams (Progressive Alliance) eliminated.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT?

Johnny Suave: “BURGESS OWENS DEFEATS BEN McADAMS AND THE AMERICAN PATRIOTS TIE THIS MATCH UP!”

Crowder pulls herself together.

Colleen Crowder: “Still plenty of time for the Progressive Alliance to win. We’ve already projected it.”

Manning levels Haywood and heads up top. Haywood catches her and slams Manning to the mat. Cover. One. Two –

Johnny Suave: “MANNING KICKS OUT!”

Crowder almost appears relieved.

With time running short, Jim Jordan goes to work with super kicks on Adam Schiff and the two men battle back and forth. Lauren Boebert blocks a running power slam from Ocasio-Cortez and posts her in the corner. They get into a heated back and forth battle. Deborah K. Ross hits a forearm shot over the top rope on Lee Haywood. Kathy Manning follows with a kick to Haywood. Schiff throws Jordan over the top rope and then engages with Burgess Owens. Manning and Ross drag Haywood to ring center- DOUBLE DDT! Manning covers. One. Two. THREE!

Lee Haywood (American Patriots) eliminated.

Neither team could score a pinfall the rest of the match. When the bell sounds the Progressive Alliance hold a slim 4-3 advantage and pick up the win.

WINNER: Team Progressive Alliance @ 20:00

Colleen Crowder: “YES! Just like we called it!”

Johnny Suave: “For the second consecutive Extreme Election Night, the Progressive Alliance win the House War Games Match. This one was very close though.”

Crowder calls it further proof a ‘blue wave’ is taking over PCW. Suave ignores her.

BACKSTAGE PCW cameras find Charlie Blackwell and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin laid out on the floor backstage being attended to by Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew. Also on hand, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and the Deplorables.

No sign of Professor McCarthy’s Flock.

More worrying, no sign of PCW Owner Dawn McGill. One of the Deplorables finds a heel shoe McGill was wearing on the floor and brings it to McAvay.

McAvay asks if anyone’s seen McGill? The PCW Clean-Up Crew tell him the only people they found were Blackwell and Martin.

McAvay immediately sends the Deplorables out to look for Dawn McGill.

**********************************

MATCH #7/MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH:

Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

**********************************

Peters goes right after James. Rights to James. James pushes him down. Peters pops back up. A dropkick to James. James sends Peters out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: “That was a tough fall. Peters is a little shaken up.”

Colleen Crowder: “He’s just giving James false hope. This one’s in the bag.”

Peters back in. James hits an Enziguri and beats down Peters a bit. Hangman’s DDT. Cover. One. Two- Peters kicks out. James runs the ropes from side to side and dropkick’s Peters’s leg! Peters hobbles into a single leg takedown! Cover. One – TWO! Again Peters kicks out. James keeps the pressure on. He goes after the leg with a standing kneebar. Peters endures. James takes him down again and covers. One – Two – NO!

Johnny Suave: “Gary Peters stays alive in this match.”

Colleen Crowder: “He’s got John James right where he wants him, Johnny.”

Peters throws a haymaker and rocks James! James returns the favor and throws haymakers right back. James kicks the bad leg – Peters falls to the mat. James with a sunset flip – cover. One – TWO! Peters survives again. James stands and takes Peters’s bad leg. Spin.

Johnny Suave: “FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!”

James has it in tight and Peters’s is in a lot of trouble.

Johnny Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!”

Colleen Crowder: “Nope. It’s all under control.”

James releases the hold and hooks the leg.

Colleen Crowder: “We’re projecting that Gary Peters is going to WIN this match!”

One. Two. TH-

But before James can get to three, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson run down and pull the referee out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: “HOLD IT!”

Whitmer sprays mace into the referee’s eyes. He falls to the floor and is out of commission.

James goes over to the ropes to find out what’s going on. Bad idea.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST MACED JOHN JAMES!”

James stumbles back and falls over Peters. Peters immediately rolls him up.

A new referee slides into the ring.

ONETWOTHREE!

Johnny Suave: “QUICK COUNT!”

The referee calls for the bell and then takes off towards the back.

Colleen Crowder: “BLUE WAVE! BLUE WAVE!”

WINNER: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) @ 8:10

Suave can’t believe it.

Johnny Suave: “John James had this match won but Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson pulled the referee out of the ring. Whitmer maced the referee, then John James. Peters rolled up James to get the win.”

Crowder interrupts and informs Suave that the Progressive Alliance are now 2-0 against the American Patriots in the Senate Medallion competition. Suave no-sells Crowder and corrects her.

Johnny Suave: “With the win, it’s now tied up at two and two for the night. Mark Kelly and Gary Peters win for the Progressive Alliance. Lindsey Graham and Tommy Tuberville for the American Patriots. The Progressive Alliance won a tight House War Games Match. And now it’s down to our final two matches of the night. The PCW Women’s Title match. And the PCW Title match.”

Crowder attempts to cut in but Suave gets a message in his earpiece. It’s breaking news…

BACKSTAGE Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew are back at work attending to Ray McAvay.

Johnny Suave: “Dawn McGill is missing. Charlie Blackwell and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin were attacked and can’t wrestle now in their matches. And now Ray McAvay has been taken out.”

Colleen Crowder: “The important thing Johnny is our narrative and our narrative states the Progressive Alliance are doing well tonight- the Donald Trump era of PCW is mercifully coming to an end.”

Quick cut to the American Patriots’ box.

THE AMERICAN PATRIOT BOX The Coke Brothers-Charles and David, financiers and mover and shaker of the American Patriots, and Executive Director of the Lincoln Project Sarah Lenti continue to watch the show from their suite. The Cokes glance over and meet eyes with…

Quick cut to the Progressive Alliance box.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE BOX …George Moros, big money spender and mover and shaker in the Progressive Alliance. There’s smiles all the way around.

Johnny Suave: “Well. The Cokes and Moros seem pleased with the turn of events here. Too pleased.”

Suave thinks something is definitely up.

A STREET CORNER IN STANSTEAD, QUEBEC Along the banks of the River Tomifobia at the street sign marking the corner of Rue Dufferin and Cordeau and with a large blue sign welcoming people to the province of Quebec in the background, stand Meghan Markle and her bonny Prince Harry.

Meghan Markle: As long as that contemptable Donald Trump is the CEO of the Political Universe, this is as close as I’m going to get to the border of the United States.

Prince Harry: Yes dear. Whatever you want, dear.

Markle is at least happy that a proper woman will hold the PCW Women’s title after tonight- Kathryn Randall Collins.

Meghan Markle: She’ll be much better than that awful Sierra Whalen.

She adds that KRC’s win will be another shot across the bow to get rid of Trump and allow her to return to Los Angeles- home of the enlightened people.

Prince Harry: If we could could just fly in for a weekend, we could get to see KRC wrestle and-

And that sends the royal into a fit.

Meghan Markle: NO. NOnononononoNO!

Markle hops up and down and screams.

Meghan Markle: I will NOT set foot in that country until that horrible man is out of power. She turns to Harry who sighs.

Prince Harry: Whatever she wants- she gets.

Cut back to the broadcast desk…

Johnny Suave: Well, I’ll give her credit for sticking to her guns and actually staying out of the country – unlike the other celebs who swore up and down they were going to leave the country and didn’t.

Colleen Crowder: It’s not fair. If Donald Trump would just go away, Meghan Markle could finally come home.

Johnny Suave: Well, there’s another reason to hope Donald Trump prevails in 2020.

Colleen Crowder: JOHNNY!

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The entrance music of Sierra Whalen comes on and the Alaskan Rogue appears.

‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen AGE: 29 / HT: 5’ 9” WT: 120 / HOME: Palmer, AK FIN: Eskimo Pieface

Johnny Suave: “KRC versus Sierra Whalen. It’s time for our first main event of the night. The PCW Women’s Title match.”

Whalen makes her way down towards the ring.

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KRC comes out next.

Kathryn Randall Collins “KRC” AGE: 37 / HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 145 / HOME: Ft. Myers, FL FIN: Gogoplata

Colleen Crowder: I agree wholeheartedly with Meghan Markle. If there’s any justice in this world, that little inbred redneck will not get a sniff of a chance to win the belt. Kathryn Randall Collins is a proper role model for women and we believe she will win.

The national media has also arrived at ringside: CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, MSNBC, Fox News, One America News, and NewsMax. Immediately, the ‘traditional’ news outlets (CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, and MSNBC) object to OAN and NewsMax being at ringside and there’s a lot of back and forth chirping between the two sides.

The referee is ready to go and the match begins.

**********************************

MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:

Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots)

**********************************

Johnny Suave: “This is for the PCW Women’s title!”

KRC and Whalen eye each other as they slowly meet at the center. Lock up. Whalen looks to have gained the advantage but KRC swiftly takes an arm wringer. Whalen reverses – KRC reverses back – Whalen reverses and shoves KRC away. We start over. The crowd buzzes as again KRC and Whalen glare at each other. They circle. Lock up – Whalen takes a chop from Parker. Whalen returns the favor. KRC feints a chop and drives a thrust kick into the chest of Whalen. Whalen down – cover. One – two – Whalen shoots the shoulder up and rolls out of the ring. KRC paces back and forth impatiently.

ABC’s Martha Raddatz and Jon Karl immediately grab Whalen and throw her back into the ring.

Johnny Suave: “And there’s our impartial, independent media at work again.”

Colleen Crowder: “They’re just doing their job Johnny.”

Lock up. KRC takes control. Belly to back suplex. Collins then hits three rolling gutwrench suplexes in a row. Cover. One – two – Whalen kicks out.

Suave thinks that was a ‘fast count.’

Colleen Crowder: “That was a perfect count.”

Whalen slowly climbs back to her feet. KRC waves her towards her – Whalen swipes at KRC. KRC boots Whalen again! KRC rocks Whalen with an uppercut – another uppercut. She runs the ropes and eats a shoulder block from Whalen. Whalen covers. One…………two…….. KRC kicks out.

Johnny Suave: “Okay. That count seemed to be a little on the slow side.”

Colleen Crowder: “All these complaints about the counts. Gosh Johnny, it’s like you want Sierra Whalen to win.”

Johnny Suave: “Actually Colleen, it’s glaringly evident to everyone with the IQ of a brick that you want KRC to win.”

Crowder goes indignant but the match continues.

KRC takes Whalen to the ropes and drags her head across the ropes. She backs up and throws another haymaker. KRC runs the ropes – Whalen backdrops KRC and then follows with a snap suplex. She lays the boots to KRC and drops a leg on her thigh. Whalen’s elbow connects. KRC pushes back and staggers to get up. Whalen pushes her backward and rushes in to ram into her against the corner turnbuckle. Whalen fires off furious fists. She’s admonished by the referee for using a closed fist. KRC returns fire and Whalen backs away. She looks at the referee- the referee shakes his head.

Johnny Suave: “And that wasn’t a closed fist?”

Colleen Crowder: “Stop being so obvious. You want Whalen to win.”

Whalen launches herself forward and whips KRC into the corner. Now Whalen charges in – MSNBC’s Joy Reid and Rachel Maddow to the ring apron – THEY PULL KRC OUT OF THE WAY! *COLLISION* Whalen slams into the corner turnbuckle and slides down to a seated position. Now MSNBC’s Brian Williams, CNN’s Chris Cuomo and Anderson Cooper blatantly choke Whalen while the referee is ‘distracted.’

Johnny Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?”

The referee finally puts a stop to the Whalen mugging. KRC back on offense. Scoop slam. Cover. One-two- Whalen kicks out. KRC lifts her up- DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO WHALEN! Cover. One-two- Whalen just kicks out.

Johnny Suave: “This match has been turned on its ear by blatant outside interference.”

Colleen Crowder: “That’s simply not true Johnny and shame on you for spreading fake news. We are now projecting that Kathryn Randall Collins will become the new PCW Women’s Champion.”

Whalen reaches for the ropes but her hand’s about a foot and half away. She tries to inch closer. Finally, KRC whaps her in the back of the head and pulls her to the middle of the ring. Whalen tries to kick her way out. KRC sits on her back and grabs hold of her wrists. She crosses Whalen’s arms under her chin and pulls back on the arms.

Johnny Suave: Straitjacket by KRC and she is in control of this match.

Whalen fights out and tries to pull herself up – KRC collects her and drives her to the mat with a powerbomb. Whalen hits hard. KRC moves in for the kill. She hooks the leg. One–two–THREE!

Crowder nearly jumps out of her chair. She lets out a loud ‘whoop!’

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) @ 10:04

Johnny Suave: “With an assist from the media, Kathryn Randall Collins of the Progressive Alliance has defeated the American Patriots’ Sierra Whalen and she is the new PCW Women’s Champion!”

While KRC celebrates inside the ring, OAN and NewsMax get into a heated argument with CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, MSNBC, and even Fox News over what just happened.

Before Crowder can get started, Suave pre-emptively sends it to a commercial break.

NEW YORK STATE OF MIND New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio stands outside his house to make his plea for Joe Biden to bring PCW to the Empire State- New York.

Bill de Blasio: “Joe. When you become the new PCW CEO tonight, please think about New York City!”

Johnny Suave: “Business leaving in droves.”

In the background, an endless parade of moving trucks pass by.

De Blasio says with all due respect to California, New York City is a big event city. He hails New York City as the place where nobody sleeps.

While the Mayor speaks, Harry and Marv of Home Alone fame remove furniture and valuables from de Blasio’s house.

Johnny Suave: “Oh. And a crime problem, too.”

Bill de Blasio: “New York City is the place to be.”

Several moving trucks honk as they drive past.

Bill de Blasio: “So come on Joe. Move PCW to the big time. Move to New York City…”

Harry and Marv remove de Blasio’s watch and steal the keys to his car.

Bill de Blasio: “…so you too can live the New York dream!”

*********************************

Suave begins the pre-match run-up to tonight’s main event by showing highlights from the Progressive Alliance convention.

(VIDEO: PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE MATCH RESULTS) Deval Patrick, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, Michael Bennet, Andrew Yang, Amy Klobucher, Tom Steyer, Michael Bloomberg, Tulsi Gabbard, John K. Delaney, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigleg

Elimination is through being tossed over the top rope.

-Tulsi Gabbard is not allowed into the arena and prevented from participating in the match.

-Delaney and Patrick, Bennet, Steyer, and Yang go really early.

-Klobuchar and Buttgleg put up more of a fight but then they fall away.

Mike Bloomberg labored throughout the match and gets rolled up out of the blue by Elizabeth Warren. Bloomberg finishes a disappointing fourth.

Warren goes next. Sanders pins her.

Then it’s down to two- Sanders vs. Biden.

This comes down to Sanders and Biden grappling on the mat. Sanders rolls him up.

One…

Two…

South Carolina Senator Jim Clyburn, with the blessing of the Progressive Alliance establishment, runs in and rolls Biden on top of Sanders.

One…

Two…

Three! The referee calls for the bell.

WINNER: Joe Biden @ 19:50

(END VIDEO)

Johnny Suave: “That’s how Joe Biden won his math. Let’s see how Donald Trump got here as he faced off against Joe Walsh (hint: NOT the guitarist) and William Weld in the American Patriots match at their convention.”

(VIDEO: AMERICAN PATRIOTS MATCH RESULTS) CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump (R-NY) vs. Joe Walsh (R-IL) vs. William Weld (R-MA)

The bell sounds.

Trump comes out and kicks Walsh in the balls. DDT by Trump. Cover.

Walsh is eliminated. (:12)

Then Weld rushes in. Trump drop toeholds Weld and he hits the corner turnbuckle. Cover.

One…two…THREE- Weld’s done. (:25)

WINNER: Donald Trump @ :25

(END VIDEO)

Johnny Suave: “Donald Trump took an easy victory over Joe Walsh and William Weld and now we’ve reached the moment of truth. Our ring announcer is Kimber Marshall and let’s send it to her now.”

Marshall stands in the middle of the ring.

Kimber Marshall: “Ladies and gentlemen, this match will be…”

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: “And it will be for the PCW Title! Introducing first…

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Johnny Suave: “Ah. Bruce Springsteen. Another one of the many celebs who’ve promised to move out of the US if Trump wins.”

Colleen Crowder: “Don’t you bad mouth ‘The Boss.’ Springsteen speaks the truth.”

Joe Biden comes out with his wife Dr. Jill Biden (and don’t you forget the ‘Dr.’ part). Behind him is his choice for Aide de Camp Kamala Harris.

Then Marshall announces the Progressive Alliance wrestler taking part in the match.

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels HT: 6′ 0″ WT: 200 / HOME: Hollywood, CA FIN: The True Hollywood Blockbuster

Daniels comes out and shakes hands with both Bidens and Kamala Harris.

Kimber Marshall: “And their opponent…”

https://youtu.be/-bzWSJG93P8

The supporters “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” chant merges with the melody of the Imperial March and becomes:

“TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP”

Dressed in all black complete with a flowing black cape, Donald Trump and his spokesperson Kayleigh McEnaney walk out on stage to a big ovation from the American Patriots.

Kimber Marshall: Residing in the Trump Tower in the great city of New York, New York! He promises to…

The Trump supporters shout out: “MAKE PCW GREAT AGAIN!”

Kimber Marshall: Accompanied by his Aide de Camp Mike Pence and representing the American Patriots! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE CURRENT CEO OF PCW- DONALD J. TRUMP!

Again, the Trump supporters let loose with thunderous roar that shakes the building. Trump nods and acknowledges the fans.

Johnny Suave: “Here he is. The current CEO of PCW. Donald Trump.”

Colleen Crowder: “Ugh. And he’s being led to the ring by… her.”

Johnny Suave: “You’re just saying that because Kayleigh McEnaney won’t play the ‘game’ the way you want her to play.”

McEnaney leads the way as Trump, black robe ruffling behind him as he strides, makes his way down the steps from the stage toward the ring followed by Mike Pence and Pence’s wife Karen.

Marshall then announces the American Patriots’s wrestler.

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 250, HOME: Ottumwa, IA FIN: American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar

Scott walks out on stage and shakes hands with Trump, Pence, Mrs. Pence. Then the entourage heads towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: “So here we are. This is for the PCW title and then we will find out who will be the PCW CEO for the next four years.”

Colleen Crowder: “We already know the answer. It’s going to be Joe Biden.”

Biden shouts encouragement to Kevin Daniels- but he’s facing the wrong way. Harris subtly turns him around towards the ring.

Before the match starts, Suave and Crowder are joined by a special guest- the CEO of Facetwitogram Jack Buckenberg.

**********************************

MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH:

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance)

**********************************

The bell sounds and the match begins.

Scott rushes forward. Daniels side-steps him. The two men circle. Scott aggressively comes forward. Daniels plays defense and makes him chase. Daniels connects with a spin kick that gives Scott some pause. Quick lock up – Scott takes a headlock – Daniels slips out. Scott fires off right and left hands. He follows with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg – one – two – Daniels kicks out and calls a ‘time-out.’ He rolls outside the ring and confers with Biden and Harris.

Johnny Suave: “Kevin Scott off to a fast start here causing Mr. Hollywood to bail out of the ring.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Actually Johnny, before you share this content, you might want to know that fact-checking sites, Snope.com, and other media sources have disputed the accuracy of it.”

Colleen Crowder: “Yeah! Kevin Daniels is probably just getting warmed up and wanted to talk strategy with Joe Biden.”

Once back in, Daniels and Scott tie up – Scott gains control. He wrenches, hammerlocks, and throws forearms into Daniels’s back. Headlock by Scott and hits the takeover. Scott tries to grind Daniels down. Daniels fights up and around but Scott wrenches the arm again. Scott takes a wristlock. Daniels throws a couple body shots. Surprise roll into a REAR NAKED CHOKE! Scott elbows out. Daniels with a drop toehold and gets the legs to hook them. One – Scott powers out. Scott goes for a rear bear hug – Daniels fights his way out with elbows. Daniels backdrops Scott to the mat. Scott up – Daniels legsweeps him back down. Cover. One – two – no. Scott powers out.

Johnny Suave: “Better from Kevin Daniels there. He seems to be coming into the match.”

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny, I don’t know what match you’ve been watching but it’s clear Daniels is totally dominating the match.”

Johnny Suave: “That’s debatable.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Actually Johnny, we’ll allow it. It’s a factual statement.”

Johnny Suave: “Of course you will.”

Scott nails Daniels with a kick to the jaw. Cover. One – two – 2.5 – Daniels just kicks out before the three count. Scott boots Daniels in the gut. Daniels drops to a knee – Scott drags him right back up. He goes to whip Daniels – Daniels reverses and knees Scott low and hard! Daniels hits the ropes and Scott ducks under. Another boot to the gut and a Sling Blade takes Daniels down. Cover. One – Two – NO! Daniels just gets the shoulder up.

Johnny Suave: “Another close pinfall for Kevin Scott. He is really doing well here tonight.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Again Johnny, before you share something like that, you should know that independent fact checkers dispute its accuracy.”

Johnny Suave: “It’s an opinion Jack that I’m entitled to based on what I’ve witnessed here during the match.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Once again, what you said is disputed by third party fact checkers.”

Johnny Suave: “*BLEEP* your third-party fact checkers.”

Daniels grows a little frustrated. He goes to the referee and starts to berate him. This allows Kamala Harris to sneak into the ring with a steel-folding chair. She raises it up – Mike Pence runs in- followed by his wife Karen (Pence never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side). Mike grabs the chair and stops Harris – the chair falls and accidently lands on Harris’s foot.

Colleen Crowder: “MIKE PENCE DID THAT ON PURPOSE!”

Johnny Suave: “Harris was going to hit ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott with that chair.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Er. Independent fact-checkers say that statement contains false information-“

Suave turns off Buckenberg’s microphone.

Crowder goes ballistic and demands Suave turn Buckenberg’s microphone back on.

Johnny Suave: “I guess it really does suck when you get censored, huh.”

Pence apologizes to Harris for the incident.

Harris kicks him in the groin.

Johnny Suave: “Ooooh. Apology not accepted. And Kamala Harris did that on purpose.”

Colleen Crowder: “She did not! She……….um, slipped.”

Karen Pence then tackles Harris in the ring and both women roll around on the mat.

Johnny Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

Colleen Crowder: “Okay. That was totally offensive, Johnny.”

Meanwhile, Daniels runs the ropes – Scott ducks a clothesline and waits for him to come back to clock Daniels with a right hand. Scott blocks a suplex attempt using the power of gravity. Daniels walks into a body slam. Scott covers. One – two – 2.999! Daniels just gets a shoulder off the mat. Scott CLOBBERS Daniels with a right hand. Cover. One – two – THR-THE REFEREE GETS PULLED OUT OF THE RING!

Johnny Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?”

All three members of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves Colleen Crowder- New York Times, Sharon Johns- CNN, and Dan Miller- Washington Post yank the referee out of the ring.

All hell breaks loose. The media climb into the ring while another referee appears and rolls in under the ropes.

Scott’s trying to figure out what’s going on. Daniels just gets back to his feet and even he’s wondering what’s happening.

The referee calls for the bell. He goes to ring announcer Kimber Marshall and tells her what his decision is.

Marshall climbs into the ring and makes the announcement.

WINNER AND NEW PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) @ 10:48

Johnny Suave: “WHAT?”

A huge celebration erupts in the ring as Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams join Daniels, the Bidens, Harris, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves (Crowder-NY Times, Johns-CNN, and Miller-Washington Post).

Outside the ring and around the bar- not so much. The PCW fans are shocked. Kevin Scott is stunned at the decision. Trump is furious and tries to corral the referee but the ref is in the middle of the Progressive Alliance party going on in the ring.

Johnny Suave: “Kevin Daniels has been named the new PCW champion even though he did not pin ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott.”

If the PCW fans didn’t like the Daniels decision, they definitely didn’t like what happened next…

THE DECISION. TRUMP OR BIDEN? The Coke Brothers (Charles and David), George Moros, Lincoln Project Executive Director Sarah Lenti slowly make their way down to the ring.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Johnny Suave: “The fans have already connected the dots on this one. Dawn McGill- missing. The DC Establishment is here.”

The Cokes, Moros, and Lenti have to duck and dodge debris.

Biden stands in front of the big group that’s gathered inside the ring for the announcement. Donald Trump stands on the outside.

The four climb into the ring. Moros has a microphone and he doesn’t waste any time.

George Moros: “Joe Biden-“

The Progressive Alliance explode with joy inside the ring.

Johnny Suave: “THAT’S IT! JOE BIDEN HAS BEEN SELECTED TO BECOME THE NEW CEO OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Biden looks towards Trump for the traditional post-match handshake- but Trump has already left ringside and headed towards the back.

Johnny Suave: “NO HANDSHAKE. TRUMP’S GOING TO THE BACK.”

Suave wraps up the show by reviewing the results.

-MATCH #1-Kayleigh McEnaney defeats CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter in a handicap match -MATCH #2/ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) defeated Martha McSally (American Patriots) -Gavin Newsom (CA-Progressive Alliance) makes a case for PCW to come to California. -MATCH #3/SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) defeated Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -Both Joe Biden and Donald Trump interview with PCW Owner Dawn McGill for the PCW CEO position. -MATCH #4/PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises (Conservative Inc./American Patriots) defeat The Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) and The Deplorables (American Heartland Coalition) -MATCH #5/ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) defeated Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) -MATCH #6/HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots -MATCH #7/MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) defeated John James (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) defeated ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance) defeated ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) -Joe Biden named the new CEO of PCW.

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

Text

PCW Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, Ohio Taped Tuesday November 3rd, 2020 Thursday December 31st, 2020

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

SHOW OPEN The crowd starts out with a “PCW! PCW!” chant to start the show.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave comes out with a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain and says, “Welcome to PCW- Loose Cannons LOCK AND LOAD!”

The crowd continues the “PCW” chant- much to the annoyance of Suave’s real life co-host Colleen Crowder.

Johnny Suave: “We are coming to you tonight from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon in Wauseon, Ohio at the northeast corner of the intersection of Airport Highway and Shoop Avenue,” Suave continues. “I am Johnny Suave. This hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain and tonight we find out who will be the PCW CEO for the next four years- current PCW CEO Donald Trump (American Patriots) or challenger Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance).”

Crowder glares at and then elbows Suave in the side at the omission of her introduction.

Suave responds in the most unenthusiastic way possible.

Johnny Suave: “Oh. And this is Colleen Crowder- a low level New York Times reporter trying to make a name for herself.”

Colleen Crowder: “Really? Do you have to say it like that?”

Suave ignores her and quickly moves on. He introduces a video clip from 2016’s Extreme Election Night when Trump defeated the Progressive Alliance’s Hillary Clinton.

(REPLAY: Extreme Election Night 2016- Donald Trump (American Patriots) vs. Hillary Clinton (Progressive Alliance) -It’s not looking good for Trump.

The mainstream media and the Washington DC establishment have interjected themselves into this match at every opportunity including Don Lemon of CNN, the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson and Dana Milbank, and the New York Times’s David Brooks and Paul Krugman. Even some members of the American Patriots, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, former Jeb Bush, and Mitt Romney charge the ring on Clinton’s behalf and a huge scrum explodes. Trump finds himself swallowed up by a mass of humanity as members of each group literally throw each other out of the way to get to him.

Cut to Paul Ryan. He’s whistling while he ever so subtly tries to inch away from the ring, hoping that no one can see him subtly trying to inch away from the ring. Mitch McConnell? He’s gone from ringside and nowhere to be found. The rest of the establishment? Sitting in their seats reading the Wall Street Journal or on their phones making plans for their golf getaway.

Then…

-Deplorables ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Charlie Blackwell stream to the ring followed by forty other people. Bryan hops up on the ring apron. He drapes Dana Milbank’s neck over the top rope and drops to the floor causing the Washington Post columnist to whiplash off the ropes and onto his back. McAvay wields a Big Bertha Driver and takes down Chuck Schumer (Progressive Alliance) and Lindsay Graham (American Patriots). Mitt Romney sees McAvay using the driver to pole axe his way through the crowd. He wisely uses discretion and decides to slip out of the ring. Blackwell jumps into the ring wielding a steel folding chair and starts taking people out left and right: Paul Krugman, Don Lemon, and Jeb Bush.

The American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and media contingent still in the ring decide to hastily exit stage right leaving just Trump, Hillary, McAvay, Blackwell, Bryan, and the forty-odd Deplorables inside.

Blackwell and McAvay re-station themselves outside the ring and the Les Miserables surrounding the squared circle. The ring steadily clears and when it does, leaving just Trump and Hillary inside, there’s an unpleasant realization for one side.

Johnny Suave: FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!

Clinton eventually has to submit to Trump’s figure four leg lock submission and Trump becomes the new PCW CEO.

Crowder complains… again… that Russian referee Corrina Romanov interceded on Trump’s behalf and cost Hillary Clinton the match.

“Who will leave here tonight as the CEO of PCW?,” Suave continues, again ignoring Crowder. “Will Donald Trump (American Patriots) book himself another four year stint at the top of the political universe? Or will Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance) put an end to Trump’s run and take PCW in a different direction?”

Colleen jumps in to point out polls indicate that Joe Biden will win tonight and win very easily.

Johnny Suave: “Because your polls was so correct four years ago.”

Suave then eats another elbow from Crowder.

youtube

The entrance music brings out the owner of PCW Dawn McGill as she makes her first appearance of the evening, much to the enthusiastic fanfare of the overwhelming majority inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

PCW Owner Dawn McGill

But not Colleen…

Colleen Crowder: “She’s the real problem! She just doesn’t get it.”

The camera pans around the arena. First…

The Deplorables/Les Miserables section of the bar: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, McAvay’s wife and one half of the famed West Texas Adult Entertainment duo Dark and Stormy, Stacee (Dark) Perry. Paige ‘Stormy’ Reynolds is also there along with Bert the Janitor and General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs- all on their feet cheering wildly.

Colleen Crowder: “And so are they. They’re the problem too!”

Next…

The Conservative Inc. section, the American Patriots/Never Trumpers/country club set (Bill Kristol. Charlie Sykes. Jonah Goldberg. David French. Tom Nichols. David Reaboi. Jennifer Rubin. David Brooks, Ben Sasse, Mitt Romney, Rick Wilson, George Conway, John Kasich. and S.E. Cupp)- are on their feet as well but not cheering all that wildly.

Finally…

Then there’s Progressive Alliance section. Professor McCarthy waves his ‘good book’ (the good book that tells us things that are correct or incorrect to say, think, or believe) in the air while his Flock- The Green World Order (Peta from PETA, GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, and PeaceNick), the Young Jerks (Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and Anna- the foul-mouthed sidekick), the Deep State (One and Two), Emily S. List, and Code Pink- all sit in their seats not happy to see McGill step out on stage.

McGill smiles and acknowledges the crowd.

Her smile goes away the second Nancy Pelosi (Progressive Alliance) and Mitch McConnell (American Patriots) walk out and join her.

Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance and Mitch McConnell (KY-American Patriots)

COMPROMISE AGREEMENT Dawn has a microphone.

Dawn McGill: “WELCOME EVERYONE TO P-C-W’S EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020!”

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

McGill proclaims PCW is back and the faithful jammed inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon cheer her on.

Crowd: “Thank you Dawn (clap clap clap-clap-clap)! Thank you Dawn (clap clap clap-clap-clap)!”

Dawn McGill: “This show belongs to YOU! The people! This show is made by the people for you- the people!”

More wild cheers and thunderous applause.

Next, she tells the PCW faithful that she needs to make a quick announcement before Extreme Election Night 2020 gets under way.

McGill surprises many in the crowd when she announces that she’s reached a compromise agreement with Pelosi and McConnell and Joe Biden and Donald Trump will NOT wrestle each other in the main event tonight. Cue boos. McGill herself does not look all that pleased at this development either.

“Tonight’s main event will be ‘Stars N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott of the American Patriots with Donald Trump in his corner versus ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels from the Progressive Alliance with Joe Biden in his corner versus Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition for the PCW Title,” McGill explains.

Suave wonders if Mitch McConnell (KY-American Patriots) sold out Donald Trump by agreeing to the compromise agreement?

Dawn McGill: “Per the terms and conditions agreed to with Ms. Pelosi and Mr. McConnell, the PCW CEO will be named after the match in the same way it used to be- by the owner of PCW which in this case. . .”

McGill turns to Pelosi and McConnell and smirks.

Dawn McGill: “. . . is me.”

Pelosi’s smile suddenly goes away.

The crowd again expresses their support of Dawn McGill.

Crowder protests. Suave points out that former owner Bubba Jackson was the one who chose Barack Obama not once but twice. “I’m sure Dawn McGill can make a well-reasoned and fair decision here. I trust her a lot more than would trust your colleagues,” Suave declared.

Yeah, that doesn’t go over well. But before Crowder can work up enough righteous indignation to respond…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

VOICES OF ‘REASON’ …CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter come out and walk to the ring and gives the PCW fans a chance to express their righteous indignation.

Colleen Crowder: “It’s about time voices of reason come out and set these idiots straight.”

Tapper and Stelter both climb in.

Tapper reassures Crowder that ‘she’s not alone’ in having to put up with people who are unable to accept reality.

Jake Tapper: “There are some people that are so mendacious, I wouldn’t put them on the air, period. Like Kayleigh McEnany…”

Stelter shakes his head and mutters “she’s the worst.”

Jake Tapper: “These are just people who tell lies the way that most people breathe-”

*WHAM!*

Crowd pop.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S KAYLEIGH McENANY!”

And her steel folding chair. The crowd roars as Tapper falls to the floor. Stelter turns around and…

*WHAM!*

…he’s face down on the mat.

More crowd popping follows and causes Crowder to become even more indignant.

Colleen Crowder: “SHE CAN’T DO THAT!”

A referee suddenly races down to the ring.

Colleen Crowder: “WHAT?”

Johnny Suave: “WE’VE GOT AN IMPROMPTU MATCH!”

Colleen Crowder: “NOOOOOO!”

*****************************

MATCH #1-HANDICAP MATCH

Trump Spokesperson Kayleigh McEnaney vs. CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter

*****************************

**DING-DING**

Both Tapper and Stelter remain on the mat.

Jim Acosta runs in…

*WHAM!*

…and joins them.

Don Lemon rushes down…

*WHAM!*

…yep, same result.

Kaitlan Collins…

*WHAM!*

…down and out.

Johnny Suave: “HERE COMES JEFF ZUCKER!”

The President of CNN rolls into the ring. He’s pissed and starts shouting at McEnaney.

The result?

*WHAM!*

Zucker finds himself careening through the ropes to the outside.

Crowder goes full on apoplectic now. “SHE CAN’T DO THAT!” she shouts at the top of her lungs.

McEnaney throws the chair down and drags Tapper on top of Stelter. She sticks her foot on top of the pile.

ONE.

TWO.

THREE!

**DING-DING-DING**

WINNER: Kayleigh McEnaney @ :30

Johnny Suave: “Kayleigh McEnaney just wiped out CNN!”

McEnaney grabs the microphone. She calls what just happened tonight “a therapy session for a broken network” Then McEnaney drops the chair and leaves.

Colleen Crowder: “Kayleigh McEnaney doesn’t get to determine what the truth is- that’s our job. We determine the truth. We determine the narrative. We determine the news the people need to see. We determine the way that the people should react.”

Johnny Suave: “Just like pro wrestling.”

Suave winks. Colleen just glares at her broadcast partner.

Johnny Suave: “That’s the problem. Most people would rather you just report the news and let us figure out how we feel about it.”

Crowder starts to respond. Suave cuts her off and runs down the rest of the card for tonight.

ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance)

MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance)

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE FACTION WAR GAMES HOUSE MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Deplorables: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW CEO Donald Trump (American Patriots) and challenger Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance)

Finally, either Donald Trump or Joe Biden will be chosen to become the CEO of PCW for the next four years.

Crowder says all the ingredients are there for a blue wave to sweep through PCW. Suave responds that we’ll find that out soon enough and sends it back to the ring for the second match of the night.

*******************************

MATCH #2-ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH:

Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance)

*******************************

McSally returns after losing two years ago to Krysten Sinema at Extreme Election Night 2018. Can she pick up her first PCW win over former astronaut, and husband to Gabrielle Giffords, Mark Kelly? Or will Kelly continue the recent trend of Progressive Alliance wins in Arizona?

**DING-DING**

Johnny Suave: “And we are underway!”

Kelly and McSally circle. Wicked chop hits McSally and then she takes a headbutt from Kelly. Whip to the ropes – scoop slam to McSally by Kelly. Another whip to the ropes – McSally ducks – off the opposite ropes – Kelly evades a right hand – belly to back suplex to McSally. Cover. McSally kicks out. Kelly with a headlock – McSally reverses and takes down Kelly. McSally waits – and spears Kelly to the mat. Cover One – two – kick out. Waistlock by McSally – Kelly reverses and takes McSally down with a judo takeover. Leg drop by Kelly. Cover. One – two – NO! McSally gets the shoulder up. Kelly drags McSally up and pops her with a steel folding chairshot. McSally looks done. Kelly hooks the leg. One – two – NO! McSally kicks out before the 3.

Colleen Crowder: “That’s it! I’m calling the match for Mark Kelly!”

Johnny Suave: “The match is not even remotely close to being finished-“

Colleen Crowder: “Nope! It’s over!”

Kelly swings the chair again – McSally dodges. She goes springboard off the ropes and kicks the chair into Kelly’s face. Right hand by McSally drops her and the fans fire up! Kelly back up – McSally with a waistlock. Kelly escapes – but runs into a roll up. One – two – Kelly slips out in time and then decks McSally with a front kick. Cover. One – two – NO! McSally gets her shoulder up in time. McSally goes to the ropes and rushes at the champion. Kelly greets her with a chop that literally takes McSally right off her feet! McSally scrambles up – Kelly measures and SUPERKICK! McSally collapses to the mat. Cover. One – two – NO! And then a spinning knee from Kelly and again, McSally is down. One – two – NO! McSally miraculously escapes again. Kelly reels McSally in, but McSally wrenches free, only for Kelly to waistlock, spin and LARIAT! Hook of the the legs. One – two – NOOOOOOO!

Johnny Suave: “McSally kicked out at the very last second! It’s not over yet!”

Colleen Crowder: “Nope. We’ve already called it. The match is over.”

Shaking his head, Kelly methodically rolls out of the ring and pulls a table out from under. He sets the table up in the ring and brings McSally back to her feet – McSally fights out of a grapple and chops Kelly. Arm drag takedown by McSally and she goes top rope. Then…

Johnny Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! THAT’S ARIZONA SECRETARY OF STATE KATIE HOBBS!”

Hobbs (Progressive Alliance) to ringside. She goes to McSally and shoves her off the top rope. McSally flies and goes through a table.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Now it’s Kelly’s turn. Kelly sets McSally up on his back. Gory Special sends McSally face first to the mat and shook the ring. Kelly covers. One….two….THREE!!

WINNER OF ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) @ 7:54

The referee hands Kelly the medallion.

Johnny Suave: “McSally did everything she could. Katie Hobbs’s interference helped swing the match to Mark Kelly.”

Crowder is blatantly cheering on the result. She’s going full on gloat.

Colleen Crowder: “What did I tell you Johnny? We called the match and we were right! Blue Wave baby, Blue Wave! First Martha McSally, next Lindsey Graham.”

Suave expresses skepticism about Graham losing tonight.

Colleen Crowder: “The polls and our narrative say Graham’s going down.”

CALIFORNIA DREAMING California Governor Gavin Newsom. No mask. Dining out with some ‘friends’ inside a swanky restaurant while normal Californians are subjected to strict guidelines against large gatherings and ‘staying home.’

Newsom makes a plea for Joe Biden to bring PCW to California.

Suave notes that Dawn McGill is on record as stating that as long as she’s the owner, PCW will never set foot in California.

Gavin Newsom: “Joe. When you win later on tonight and become the new PCW CEO, don’t forget that California is open for business!”

In the background, an endless parade of moving trucks pass by.

Newsom says forget holding PCW shows in rednecky bars out in the middle of Nowheresville USA-California is the place PCW should be. He hails California as the home of Silicon Valley, Hollywood, the Pacific Coast, Disneyworld-

Johnny Suave: “Closed. Employees laid off.”

Gavin Newsom: “And-“

Johnny Suave: “Choking regulations that is driving business out of the state.”

Several moving trucks honk as they drive past.

Suave also notes an average California home costs $440,000 (two–and–a–half times the average national home price of $180,000) and that the average monthly rent is about $1,240 (50 percent higher than the rest of the country-$840 per month).

Behind Newsom, Elon Musk looks at him with disgust. Then he leaves and hops on a moving truck.

Gavin Newsom: “With all that, it’s no wonder that California is the place to be. So come to California, PCW. And, oh, make sure you bring your checkbook…”

Suddenly, the electricity goes out and the restaurant is left in total darkness.

Gavin Newsom: “…so you too can live the California dream!”

*********************************

MATCH #3- SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH:

Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance)

*********************************

Colleen Crowder: “Our polls say that Lindsey Graham is in trouble. I predict he’ll fall before the big Blue Wave that’s coming!”

Johnny Suave: “Well? We’ll find out in just a moment. Will this be Lindsey Graham’s biggest battle yet? Will Jaime Harrison bring the South Carolina Medallion to the Progressive Alliance?”

…Harrison goes waistlock – Graham elbows him away! He drives his shoulder into Harrison’s gut and drives him into the corner turnbuckle. Graham then with a forearm shot and runs at Harrison again – shoulder into the stomach topples him over. Cover. One – TWO!

Johnny Suave: “Harrison kicks out. But the surprise here is just how tenacious Lindsey Graham has been tonight about defending his South Carolina Medallion.”

Crowder calls Graham’s effort noble but futile. She still maintains that Harrison will win.

Graham doesn’t let up. Hip toss sends Harrison to the middle of the ring. Cover – One – TWO! Again Harrison kicks out. This time he rakes Graham’s eyes and whips him into the corner.

Colleen Crowder: “Here we go! Jaime Harrison is going to-“

Graham counters with a raised foot to the face. Graham waits – he launches himself at Harrison –LARIAT! Cover. One – two – THREE!

WINNER OF SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) @ 3:15

Johnny Suave: “And the answer is no. Crowder was not correct and Lindsey Graham wins comfortably.”

Suave turns to Colleen for her take on the match.

Colleen Crowder: “The match isn’t over yet, Johnny. We haven’t called it yet.”

Johnny Suave: “The referee just made the three count. It’s over.”

Colleen Crowder: “Nope. It’s not until we call it and say it’s over.”

JOE BIDEN INTERVIEW Shaking his head, Suave moves on. He recounts Extreme Election Night 2008 and 2012 where the then-owner of PCW came out after the main event and announced who would be the PCW CEO for the next four years.

VIDEO REPLAY: –2008. PCW Owner Bubba Jackson names Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) as the winner and new CEO of PCW. He shakes hands with his opponent John McCain (American Patriots).

-2012. Jackson again names Obama as the winner. Obama’s opponent Mitt Romney (American Patriots) walks over and shakes hands with the returning PCW CEO.

Johnny Suave: “Then in 2016 after Dawn McGill took over ownership of PCW, Donald Trump defeated Hillary Clinton inside the ring to succeed Barack Obama. But tonight, we return to the old way.

Cut to: Outside Dawn McGill’s office.

Inside Dawn’s office. The Progressive Alliance’s Joe Biden.

Johnny Suave: During Extreme Election Night, the candidate is interviewed by the PCW owner.

The door opens. Biden and his candidate for Aide de Camp Kamala Harris emerges from McGIll’s office.

There’s a perfunctory handshake between McGill and Biden just outside her office that seems more than a little bit awkward.

Then Biden goes to the podium to talk briefly to his supporters. There’s eight of them on hand- socially distanced standing in appropriately separated circles.

Biden gives a brief statement and ends with…

Joe Biden: “We’re going to build back…um…to make better…changes so we can…change for the… better.”

He also added.

Joe Biden: “TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!”

Scattered applause.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

Colleen Crowder: Ladies and gentlemen. This is your next PCW CEO!

Johnny Suave: Next in to see PCW Owner Dawn McGill- the current CEO of Political Championship Wrestling, Donald Trump.

Crowder gives a thumbs-down to Trump and ‘boos.’

Cut back to outside Dawn McGill’s office.

TRUMP INTERVIEW Following Trump’s interview with McGill, he and his Aide de Camp Mike Pence exit her office- both smiling.

Trump and McGill share a more effusive handshake, again everyone all smiles.

Trump then goes to the podium and addresses the enthusiastic two hundred and fifty people who’ve crowded into a very tight area to hear him speak.

Colleen Crowder: Really? Where’s the social distancing? Where’s the masks? This is irresponsible.

Trump gives his break remarks and ends with…

Donald Trump: We are one movement, one people, and one family! Together we will make PCW great again!

Big cheers follow.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

Johnny Suave: “So Colleen, how’s that Blue Wave coming along?”

Colleen Crowder: “Shut up! The night isn’t over yet and we still haven’t called the Lindsey Graham-Jaime Harrison match.”

Johnny Suave: “I’ll make it easy for you. Graham has the medallion. He won. Harrison lost.”

Colleen Crowder: “But we didn’t call it-“

THE AMERICAN PATRIOT BOX Quick cut to the American Patriots’ box. The Coke Brothers-Charles and David, financiers and mover and shaker of the American Patriots, glares towards the ring from his suite. He plucks his phone from a suit pocket and punches in a number.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE BOX Quick cut to the Progressive Alliance box. George Moros, big money spender and mover and shaker in the Progressive Alliance, has a sour look on his face as well.

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH TIME Suave announces it’s time for the big three-way PCW Tag Team Title match.

First team out…

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Pop. Big…big pop.

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd erupts when the video screen shows the door to a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

Colleen Crowder (voiceover): What do you mean it’s time? It’s time for what?

The door opens and eight male bodyguards walk out of the dressing room encircling a petite 95 pound woman and her executive assistant Melissa in the middle. The woman, dressed in a smart, dark business suit and heels, is busy talking on her cell phone. Melissa furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring followed by P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit.

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

A huge roar greets the procession as it emerges from the back onto the stage and starts their way down the ramp. Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as the ‘Queen of Greed’ Jill Berg walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.

Berg and her Executive Assistant Melissa leads Banks and Walstreit out to the stage.

Jill Berg Enterprises MGR: ‘Queen of Greed’ Jill Berg ASST: Melissa P.M.C. Banks AGE: 30 / HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 230 / HOME: New York City, NY FIN: Bank Statement Overdraft Kirk Walstreit – ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.’ AGE: 34 / HT: 6’ 2” WT: 220, HOME: New York City, NY FIN: Stock Market Plunge

Berg leads the group down to the ring. Once inside the ring, Walstreit walks around holding up a velvet painting of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. Why? Who knows. That’s just what he does.

Next out…

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♫ “Do you hear the people sing? – Singing the song of angry men?”

The camera pans over to the Deplorable’s section of the arena. Ray McAvay and William Daniels Bryan high five while Charlie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido stands up from their seat.

Crowder is not happy to see them.

Colleen Crowder: “BOOOO! BOOOOO! These Deplorable idiots are the ones responsible for Donald Trump winning in 2016! BOOOOO!”

The Deplorables MGR: Bert the Janitor ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay HT: 6’ 3” WT: 215 HOME: Fort Stockton, TX FIN: McGill Bomb Valets: West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy William Daniels Bryan– ‘The Prairie Populist’ -4 time PCW Champion. Former PCW Television Champion HT: 5’10″ WT: 180, HOME: Platte, Nebraska / FIN: Cattle Mutilation or the Crane Kick SUBGROUP: General DeBauchery, Al Cahall, Nic Koteen

Also rising from their seats, General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs and the man smoking a cigarette in violation of several anti-smoking ordinances…as usual, Nic Koteen.

McAvay and Bryan stands up and edges towards the aisle. Blackwell, and Escondido follow. Then General DeBauchery, Cahall, and Koteen. Before McAvay and Escondido start to descend down the steps towards the rail separating the stands from the floor, McAvay turns around and gestures to the Les Miserables to join him.

The Deplorables rise up from their seats and line up behind him and Escondido as the pair start their way down towards the ring.

The camera spots West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy with their protégée Starbrite, all sporting the PCW Ray McAvay “Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work” baseball jersey, marching along with the other Les Miserables as McAvay and the procession head down to the ring.

McAvay, Bryan, Blackwell, Escondido, and the rest reach the steel barricade around ringside. One by one, they climb through the railing down to the floor and march towards the ring.

Then finally…

WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!

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The song opens with a full minute and a half of abstract acapella tones. The wrestlers already in the ring wonder what the hell is with the music.

They’d find out soon enough after another minute of somber keyboard strikes and overlaid whale calls.

Male Voice: “My name is Brock Cole Lee. You can call me the Vengeful Vegan. And I’m here to let you know one thing. It’s time for a new force to emerge. It’s time for someone to come in and take over. It’s time for us- the GREEN… WORLD…ORDER!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Brock Cole Lee: “That’s right. Boo us all you want. The bottom line is . . . the Green World Order is here and WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!”

This excites Crowder.

Colleen Crowder: “They’re changing everything Johnny!”

Johnny Suave: “They’ve been saying that since 2005. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Lee, his tag team partner GreenPete, and valet Peta from PETA- who spends most of the trip to the ring shouting at people for eating hamburgers and other assorted objectionable food.

Green World Order Valet: Peta from PETA GreenPete HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 195 / HOME: Los Angeles, CA FIN: Harpoon (modified spear or gore) ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 192 / HOME: New York City, NY FIN: The Juicer WITH: PeaceNick

All three teams in the ring now.

*********************************

MATCH #4-PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:

Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Deplorables: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

*********************************

Johnny Suave: “This is NOT an elimination match. The first team who gets a pinfall will be the new PCW Tag Team champions.”

Colleen Crowder: “GO GREEN WORLD ORDER!”

P.M.C. Banks, McAvay, and GreenPete will start. Outside the ring, The ‘Queen of Greed’ Jill Berg watches with arms folded. The Green World Order’s PeaceNick chants peaceful, pacifistic mantras while Peta continues to berate people at ringside for eating meat. The Deplorables at ringside clap their hands and cheer on McAvay and Bryan.

Brock Cole Lee and Kirk Walstreit taunt each other on the ring apron. Banks and GreenPete do a lot of talking while McAvay and Bryan confer. Banks shoves GreenPete. GreenPete shoves Banks. Head butt by GreenPete staggers Banks. He slams him down. Cover. One – two – McAvay makes the save.

Banks rolls out of the ring. GreenPete tags out to Brock Cole Lee who tells Banks to get his ass back into the ring. Banks and Walstreit talk strategy outside the ring with Jill Berg. Finally, a ten count begins and Banks returns.

Banks ties up with McAvay. McAvay gets leveled from behind by Lee. Banks decides he’s had enough and tags out to Kirk Walstreit. Walstreit rushes in – Lee gets a takedown. Waistlock by Lee – he holds on as Walstreit tries to escape. McAvay back up and he’s got a chair thanks to his tag partner. *WHAM!* Walstreit then German Suplexes Lee. Oklahoma Roll – one – two – GreenPete in for the save. Bryan tags in and he connects on a mat slam to Walstreit. He covers. One – two – BANKS MAKES THE SAVE! Lee tags GreenPete back in. Bryan and Walstreit duel – MULE KICK by GreenPete connects. Walstreit lets go – he dives for the corner – NO! GreenPete pulls him back at the last second. Lee clocks Bryan from behind with a steel folding chair and then throws him out of the ring. Banks tags in for Walstreit. GreenPete kicks Banks around the ring. Banks down. He tries to get to his corner but Walstreit stomps away with kick after kick after kick. The referee starts a five count – GreenPete stomps more. Then he goes back suplex but Banks lands on his feet. He ducks two more kicks from GreenPete and hits a DESPERATION BANK STATEMENT OVERDRAFT.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Colleen Crowder: “THAT CAN’T BE LEGAL!”

Suave assures her it is and that GreenPete is down and in big trouble.

Crowd on their feet. But Banks can’t make the pinfall on GreenPete. Both men crawl to their corners – hot tags to Brock Cole Lee and Walstreit! Lee and Walstreit exchange right hands. Lee decks Walstreit with a right hand.

Outside the ring, Jill Berg strolls over and… *SMACK* unleashes a vicious spinning heel kick to an unsuspecting GreenPete and knocks him out cold.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT? WHAT IS SHE DOING?

PeaceNick looks on in horror and starts to protest. Berg calmly walks over to him and *SMACK* …you guessed it.

Johnny Suave: Getting in some martial arts training during the match?

We hear Crowder’s overly audible ‘huff’ following Suave’s remark.

Now Bryan back in and he’s looking for anyone in a green shirt. He ducks a Lee clothesline and runs the ropes. Bryan ducks a second clothesline – stops, spins around – SLEEPER! Lee spins around and tries to get Bryan off his back. Lee slams Bryan into the corner turnbuckle. And again. A third time – Bryan is scraped off. Banks give him a stomp and then clocks Lee. GreenPete in the ring and runs and SPLASHES Banks in the corner. Banks down. Cover by Bryan. One – two – WALSTREIT MAKES THE SAVE! Bryan goes after Banks. Lee scoop slams Bryan. Cover. One – two – BRYAN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Bryan slips through Lee’s legs and tags McAvay back in. Both Deplorables hook up Banks, then hit a double suplex. McAvay’s cover. One – two – NO! Banks kicks out. Lee shoves McAvay out of the way and hits a spinning neckbreaker on Banks. Cover. One – two – Banks again kicks out. Banks reverses a hip toss – steps back – SUPERKICK TO BROCK COLE LEE! Lee down. Banks rolls over. One – two – Lee kicks out. Banks tags Kirk Walstreit back in. Flying elbow off the top rope by Walstreit takes Lee down again. He covers. One – two – 2.999!

Johnny Suave: “RAY McAVAY MAKES THE LAST SECOND SAVE!”

McAvay goes for the cover. But two masked men hit the ring and tackle him.

Johnny Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S LOAF!”

League of Anti-Fascists aka…LOAF Ted HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 180 / HOME: Portland, OR FIN: Chaz HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 205 / HOME: Seattle, WA FIN:

McAvay tries to fight LOAF off – but Ted throws McAvay over the top rope to the floor. Then LOAF hop over the top rope and splashes McAvay and Bryan on the floor.

Colleen Crowder: “This is payback Johnny. Payback for what McAvay and Bryan did four years ago to help Donald Trump become the CEO of PCW and it’s ABOUT TIME!”

The Deplorables come to McAvay and Bryan’s aid and LOAF has to bail out.

Johnny Suave: “But the damage is done. Both McAvay and Bryan are down.”

Not for long though, McAvay drags himself up.

*SMACK*

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP! JILL BERG JUST TOOK OUT RAY McAVAY WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!”

*SMACK*

Johnny Suave: “AND WILLIAM DANIELS BRYAN, TOO!”

This makes Crowder happy.

Colleen Crowder: “Again, it couldn’t have happened to better people.”

Walstreit again goes top rope – flying ax-handle drives Lee back down. Cover. One – two – NO! Lee ejects Walstreit to the middle of the ring. Walstreit with a waistlock – Lee reverses – backdrop to Walstreit. Cover. One – two – Walstreit slips out. P.M.C. Banks runs in. He slams Lee down. Walstreit comes over. Set. DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!! Lee is out of his feet. Walstreit in – STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! COVER! ONE – TWO- THREE! NEW CHAMPIONS!

WINNER AND **NEW** PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jill Berg Enterprises @ 14:05

Johnny Suave: “Jill Berg Enterprises win!”

Colleen Crowder: “Again, they have not. We have not called the-“

The referee hands Walstreit and Banks the PCW Tag Team title match.

Johnny Suave: “Walstreit and Banks hold up their new title belts!”

Colleen Crowder: “They can’t do that! This match hasn’t been called yet!”

Johnny Suave: “Breaking news! The new PCW Tag Team champions put on their new title belts signifying that they are, in fact, the NEW PCW Tag Team champions.”

Colleen Crowder: “Don’t you dare mansplain to me!”

Johnny Suave: “Okay. We are going to go right to our next match. A special bonus match for the Alabama Senate Medallion between the Progressive Alliance’s Doug Jones and former Auburn Head Football Coach Tommy Tuberville of the American Patriots.”

Colleen Crowder: “That’s another win for the Progressive Alliance.”

Suave rolls his eyes and waves her off.

Cut to a quick video of the match:

VIDEO-Alabama Medallion Match: Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) vs. Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) Tuberville is having little trouble with Jones.

Voice Offscreen: “Hold on Johnny. Stop the video.”

SHOWSTOPPERS Arriving at the broadcast table: Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams- all from the Progressive Alliance.The group inform Suave that the show is going to be stopped for the moment.

Johnny Suave: “Stopped? But why?”

Josh Shapiro: “Look. This is the first show back. The production crew is tired. They’re getting back into the flow of things. So we will pick up the show on Sunday evening with the conclusion.”

Colleen Crowder: “When Joe Biden will become the new PCW CEO!”

Shapiro nods to Crowder.

Josh Shapiro: “When Joe Biden will become the next CEO of PCW.”

Johnny Suave: “I guess we will be back with Part Two of PCW Extreme Election Night 2020 on Sunday night! For Colleen Crowder-“Colleen Crowder: I am more than capable of saying goodbye. I don’t need a man to-Johnny Suave: Good night everyone!

Cut to:

EPILOGUE Darkened room. Dim light.

Shadows move around.

George Moros- billionaire financier of the Progressive Alliance.

The Coke Brothers- billionaire financiers of the American Patriots.

A door opens. Then closes.

Charles Coke: Sarah.

Sarah Lenti: What the hell is going on! I thought you had things under control.

David Coke: Sarah, I know things haven’t exactly gone to plan-

Sarah Lenti: Not gone to plan? Dawn McGill is still in control of PCW with all her ‘PCW is for the people’ bull-*BLEEP*.

George Moros tries to reassure her.

George Moros: Look. We stopped the show for the evening. That gives us time to figure this out.

Sarah Lenti: Dawn McGill is going to hand the reins of PCW to Donald Trump for another four years!

George Moros: No she won’t. Clearly, it’s time to take this to the next level.

Moros pulls out a cell phone and hits a button.

George Moros: It’s time. Operation Dominion is in effect.

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

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Extreme Election Night 2020 Preview

(PCW 15th Year Celebration- Taped Earlier This Year)

The Scene: A meeting room inside a hotel. At the front of the room, PCW Owner Dawn McGill stand behind a podium with a sign in front that reads “PCW 15 years.” She’s dressed nicely for the occasion.

PCW Owner Dawn McGill

Dawn McGill: Welcome to the fifteenth year of Political Championship Wrestling.

The camera pans around the hall at the politicos from both sides – all whom played major roles in PCW over the past fifteen years – as they applaud.

There’s ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove who claps his hands and then points to his temple to make sure everyone knows he’s a *BLEEP*-ing genius.

The Clinton Political Pitbulls (James Carville, Terry McAuliffe, and Sidney Blumenthal).

’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (AK-American Patriots).

Rahm Emanuel- he’s about the drop an F-Bomb but realizes he’s on camera so he doesn’t.

‘Screamin’ Howard Dean (VT-Progressive Alliance)…

Howard Dean: YEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

…who’s sitting uncomfortably close to one Alan Simpson (WY-American Patriots)…

Alan Simpson: STOP YELLING IN MY *BLEEP*-DAMN EAR!

…Mitch McConnell (KY-American Patriots) stands and claps…

Mitch McConnell: Spending obscene amounts of cash in order to gain influence with our leaders is a First Amendment right!

…Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance). She hides behind of wall of bodyguards. Get it? Hiding behind a wall. A wall of bodyguards?

Then there’s a quick shot of the PCW Hall of Famers on hand: ‘Not Just Unbearable…Not Just Intolerable…He is…’ Justin Sufferable, PCW tag team legends The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent), ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (Kevin Scott)

Back to McGill up front.

Dawn McGill: Let’s now welcome the living former PCW CEO’s. First, Jimmy Carter.

John Denver’s ‘Thank God I’m a Country Boy’ heralds the entrance of 96 year old Jimmy Carter (GA-Progressive Alliance) as he’s wheeled into the hall.

Dawn McGill: Bill Clinton.

Clinton (AR-Progressive Alliance) strides out as a video plays of an old episode of ‘Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub’ plays…

VIDEO: Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub – November 2nd, 2010 episode of Extreme Political TV Clinton glumly sits in his hot tub…alone and flanked by two Secret Service men. Off to the side of the hot tub lies a ladybug costume that he had brought anticipating that Christine O’Donnell was going to be his guest on the show.

Bill Clinton: I don’t know what else I could have done. I even brought her a ladybug costume just so she’ll feel comfortable. *sigh*

Secret Service Agent 1: I don’t think Miss O’Donnell is coming sir.

Bill Clinton: This makes me profoundly sad. (bites lip) I feel my pain.

Dawn McGill: George W. Bush.

Dawn watches as George W. Bush’s (TX-American Patriots) perpetually off-key mariachi band leads former CEO George W. Bush to the ring with another horribly played, but rousing, rendition of “Hail to the Chief.”

Dawn’s face contorts and cringes every time the off-key mariachi band hits a particularly sour note.

Dawn McGill: Barack Obama.

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. Former PCW CEO Barack Obama (IL-Progressive Alliance) appears with his former Aide de Camp Joe ‘the Big F-ing Deal’ Biden (DE-Progressive Alliance) by his side.

Dawn McGill: And our current CEO, Donald Trump.

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PCW CEO Donald Trump (NY-American Patriots) comes out on stage.

The supporters chant “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” which merges with the melody of the Imperial March and becomes:

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

After Trump sits down at the dias with the rest of the other former CEO’s, McGill continues.

Dawn McGill: Tonight is not about politics as usual.

As she speaks, the caterers roll out a huge cake.

Dawn McGill: Tonight is about celebrating what we have in common and what binds us together.

Close up to the item sitting on top of said cake- it’s a giant briefcase with money overflowing from inside of it.

Dawn McGill: It’s about…all of us…

As the caterers situate where the cake is to go, one of them bumps into the cart. The giant briefcase starts to sway back and forth.

Dawn McGill: …It’s about the people…

Finally, the briefcase slides off the top and falls towards the floor.

Close up- Mitch McConnell. His eyes light up and drool forms on the edge of his mouth.

Dawn McGill: …because we may have our differences…

The briefcase hits the floor and opens up. There’s a lot of cash inside and some of it spills out onto the floor.

Close up- Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton: Ohhhh baby.

Everyone looks around at each other.

Dawn McGill: …in the end, we all share a common thread the binds us all together…

Silence…several seconds of silence.

Bill Clinton’s gaze meets up with James Carville. Clinton nods and winks. Carville smiles and then…

George W. Bush: Wait for it.

At once, Carville and everyone else shoot up from their chairs and dives towards the open briefcase. McConnell jumps in. Pelosi’s ‘wall’ of bodyguards barge in and try to plow a path to the cash.

Also wading in: John Boehner (OH-American Patriots), Harry Reid (NV-Progressive Alliance), and Paul Ryan (WI-American Patriots) and people from both sides of the aisle attempt to burrow their way through the pile of humanity.

Rahm Emanuel (IL-Progressive Alliance) runs down and starts dropping people left and right with F-Bombs.

Close up of Jimmy Carter’s reaction to the scramble for cash: disappointment and disgust.

Unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: OWWWWW! HE’S BITING! HE’S BITING!

Close up- it’s James Carville.

Close up of George W. Bush’s reaction: whimsical smile.

W taps Clinton on the shoulder.

George W. Bush: Not a whole lot of strat-tee-ger-ree goin’ on here.

Bill Clinton: Nope.

Another unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: OWWWWW! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

Close up- it’s ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin. She’s not biting though. She’s using a power drill to get to the bottom of the pile.

Sarah Palin: DRILL BABY DRILL!

Another unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!

Close up of Barack Obama’s reaction: rising above the fray.

Barack Obama: *I* would not do that.

Obama turns to Biden.

Barack Obama: But *I* also know you’re just itching for a fight.

Joe Biden: You know it.

Barack Obama: Go for it.

Biden leaps over the table and literally cannonballs into the pile of humanity.

A third unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: OWWW! DAMMIT! WHO KEEPS BITING?

Close up- it’s Alan Simpson- Simpson’s not after the money, he’s just being his usual irascible and ornery self.

W leans in towards Bill Clinton.

George W. Bush: Where’s Hillary?

Close up of the pile. Two legs wearing white pants stick out of the huge pile.

George W. Bush: Oh. Never mind.

Trump shakes his head.

Close up- Dawn McGill at the podium. She rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her drink.

McGill’s POV: both sides scratch, claw, gouge, use steel folding chairs, regular chairs, and anything else that can be used as a weapon- all to get at the cash in the briefcase.

She sighs and rests her chin on her hand propped up by her elbow on the podium as the chaos continues…

Political Championship Wrestling Preview of Extreme Election Night 2020 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, Ohio Sunday December 27th, 2020

Johnny Suave (voiceover): “To say that the last year have been frustrating for Dawn McGill would be an understatement of epic proportion. Having her show taken off the air and having to endure the Star Chamber of Pelosi, Schiff, and Nadler and their investigation had been not only tough on her but the PCW talent as well. Yes, house shows continued to be run but PCW was off television. As 2019 came to a close, Dawn fired off a shot across the bow when a PCW Christmas show suddenly aired causing a few eyebrows to be raised. The show featured PCW mainstays Rah and Halitosis headlining against The Professional Bad Guys- Hans Grueber and Carl Vreski in a Nakotomi Towers Death Match.”

(REPLAY: PCW Christmas Show- December 2019) Grueber and Vreski send Rah over the top rope to the floor. Grueber slides out and pulls something out from underneath the ring. It’s an eight foot by four foot piece of glass.

Johnny Suave: What the hell is he doing?

What he’s doing is setting up the piece of glass in the corner and motioning Vreski to do something with it. Vreski doesn’t quite understand what Grueber wants him to do and shrugs.

Grueber again motions to the glass- Vreski still doesn’t know what he’s got in mind. He shrugs again.

Now agitated, Greuber makes an exaggerated motion pointing at the glass.

Again, Vreski doesn’t quite get it.

Finally…

Hans Grueber: SHOOT…THE GLASS!

Grueber positions Halitosis in front of the glass. Vreski finally gets it.

Carl Vreski: Ohhhhhhhh!

Vreski rushes forward and spears Halitosis right through it, sending glass flying all over the place.

Johnny Suave: Whoa!

Crowd: HOLY *BLEEP*…HOLY *BLEEP*

Johnny Suave: Hey, that’s Laura Bergman looking on. She’s Halitosis’s wife.

…

Rah hits a bulldog and drops ax handles on the back of Vreski. Then he takes Vreski’s chain and wraps it around his neck. Vreski frantically tries to get away. He tries to throw himself out of the ring but the chain catches and hangs him up.

Rah drags Vreski back to the ring and signals it time to sacrifice him to the Temple of the Sunshine God. He looks over at his faithful worshipers-

…and they’re not paying attention to what he’s doing.

Rolling his eyes, Rah looks over at McGill- she’s looking at her compact and redoing her lipstick that got mussed up when she Singapore caned Vreski.

Sighing, Rah then turns to the fans at ringside and finally receives the adulation he’s looking for. He places Vreski’s head between his legs and looks towards the heavens with arms stretched out soaking in the praise and worship of the fans. After receiving the necessary strength, Rah picks Vreski up and drives him down onto the canvas with the Eye of RAHHHHHH (jackknife powerbomb).

Rah walks with a deliberate gait over to Vreski. He should pin him right then and there but something catches the eyes of the Sunshine God. In the stands, he sees Hans Grueber with a firm grip on the hand of one Laura Bergman and dragging her up the steps towards the top with him. A few feet below, Halitosis, bloodied and just a mess, climbs up the steps a few feet behind them. Rah watches as Grueber reaches the top and sees Joe coming for him. He threatens to throw Laura off the back of the stands if he takes another step forward.

Laura stomps on Grueber’s foot. Halitosis lurches forward and unleashes his lethal breath of death on Grueber. Grueber clutches his throat at the stench and gets perilously close to the edge. Laura shoves Grueber over the edge but the German grabs on to Laura’s wrist as he topples over and begins to pull her down with him – Joe grabs Laura and holds on for dear life.

Grueber has a hold of her watch. He tries to reach up with his free hand as Laura feverishly loosens the watchband. It slips off her wrist and…

Grueber falls and crashes through two tables that’s been conveniently set up below him.

Johnny Suave: I wonder who put those tables up?

Quick cut to Dawn McGill, filing her nails behind the stands and nodding at her handiwork as Grueber lays in the wreckage of the tables.

* * *

Johnny Suave (voiceover): “So as 2020 arrived, McGill was ready to say the hell with it and pull the trigger. Then she was unceremoniously hauled before the Pelosi-Schiff-Nadler hearings again.”

* * *

(PCW Headquarters-Washington D.C. -February 2020)

Johnny Suave (voiceover): “The hearing with the express purpose of determining whether or not Dawn McGill would be removed as the Executive Director of Political Championship Wrestling. Now, you may be asking yourself: Wait a second. I thought she owned PCW. Well, let’s go back a few months to May of 2019.”

[REPLAY: 5/2/2019-Donald Trump (R-NY)] The CEO of Political Championship Wrestling Donald Trump explains why the Red Brand and Blue Brand went dark, shows were cancelled, and why PCW ran replays of shows from ten years ago over the past two weeks. Short and to the point, Trump states the current method of doing business with three brands wasn’t working so, he felt it was time to make a change.

Then he attaches a red stone to the gauntlet. Then he snaps his fingers and says Red Brand is no more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – let out a loud cheer.

Trump then attaches a blue stone to the gauntlet and snaps his fingers and proclaims the Blue Brand. No more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – groan.

Then Trump attaches a white and black stone with PCW written on it to the gauntlet. But this time he doesn’t snap his fingers. Trump announces he made PCW owner Dawn McGill a generous offer for PCW that sets her up for life and she accepted.

So what does that mean? McGill’s investment in trying to keep PCW alive just paid off for her in a big, big way. The Red and Blue Brand will consolidate under PCW. So, who will lead PCW going forward?

Dawn McGill comes out followed by PCW Hall of Famers “No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Justin Sufferable. McGill shakes Trump’s hand as does Escondido and Sufferable.

There’s a disturbance and male voice shouts out: “GET THAT GAUNTLET! THE FATE OF THE POLITICAL UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT!”

Suddenly, Captain America (aka Chris Evans dressed in costume), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.- in costume), and Captain Marvel (Brie Larson- in costume) rush towards Trump and his Infinity Gauntlet that’s made the Red Brand and Blue Brand specific shows disappear.

But before they can reach him: Escondido steps in to kick Evans in the balls. He then power slams Evans.

Sufferable chops Downey Jr. with an open hand and drives him to the floor with the Lou Thesz press.

McGill stops Larson in her tracks with a Spinning Heel kick and then follows with the McGill Bomb (sit-out powerbomb).

(END VIDEO)

Sitting at a table cutting a solitary figure with a glass of water placed next to her elbow, Executive Director Dawn McGill faced the stern glare of one Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Adam Schiff (D-CA). She wasn’t happy to be there and made sure both Pelosi and Schiff knew it in her opening statement.

Dawn McGill: I said this before but let me make this clear to the Establishment…PCW is not here for you. PCW is here for…THEM…the fans.

Pelosi called the hearing to order following McGill’s opening remarks and Schiff announced that the minutes will be waived. He announced that he will proceed with questions towards the Executive Director of PCW.

Schiff doesn’t waste time cutting to the chase- he wants to know about the deal Donald Trump made with her in May 2019.

McGill responded directly that the deal was a basic business transaction to bring PCW back under the political universe umbrella while rewarding her for her hard work over the past five years trying to keep PCW alive.

Schiff fired back that he believed it’s easy to connect the dots. He demands to know if there was any quid pro pro- McGill sold PCW in return for Trump putting an end the Red and Blue Brand shows.

Brushing off Schiff’s challenging demeanor, McGill smiled and then recalled the intense reaction of the Progressive Alliance – most notably Jerry Nadler’s (D-NY) Oversight committee – to the deal made. Her description of the response was

“predictable.”

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McGill also made sure to recognize that the American Patriots didn’t take the news so well either.

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Schiff continued to press the issue and asked if McGill took into consideration that Trump could be breaking the law by making a deal with her.

With a bemused grin, McGill asked which particular law Schiff was referring to.

Schiff said that’s what they’re trying to find out.

Dawn McGill: Oh? Is that kind of like passing a bill just to see what exactly is in the bill?

Pelosi was not amused. She brought up the fact that McGill hired back Russian referee Corrina Romanov after previous PCW CEO Barack Obama had fired her after Extreme Election Night 2016 as a striking example of the ‘poor judgment’ McGill has.

McGill retorted she couldn’t help that elements remained inside the Progressive Alliance who still blamed Romanov for Trump defeating Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Before Pelosi can respond to that, McGill also threw in for good measure the fact that Pelosi also continued to be chapped at her because she refused to back down and give in to her demand that the 2020 CEO candidates return to the old way where their candidates would hire surrogate wrestlers to wrestle in their place- unlike in 2016.

Pelosi made sure to reference the match at 2008’s Extreme Election Night between then-champion Starz N. Stripes (now Kevin Scott) – representing John McCain- and challenger O’Beck Bahama- representing Barack Obama- perhaps one the greatest matches ever in PCW history. She implored McGill to be reasonable and allow a return to that very system.

McGill remained steadfast. She told Pelosi that both sides have allowed others to fight their battles for too long and maintained 2020 would have the same format of 2016.

Pelosi strenuously objected and called her a puppet- one more reason why she should be impeach- . . . er . . . removed as the Executive Director of PCW.

Nancy Pelosi: The people vying to become the next CEO of the Political Universe are not ‘ordinary’ men and women and should not be treated as such.

McGill fired back that regardless of what special privileges she feels they are owed, the fact remained that they are ‘people’ and should be subject to the same rules everyone else is.

Schiff responded it didn’t matter.

Adam Schiff: We’ve received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion, so profound – and disgusting – that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Schiff declared there is a solution to this problem- the removal of Dawn McGill followed by strict oversight of PCW by Schiff’s and Nadler’s committee.

McGill’s response?

Dawn McGill: Yeah, that’s not happening.

Pelosi threatened McGill that oversight is coming whether she likes it or not and if need be they will personally take control of PCW to ensure that there’s appropriate oversight.

Dawn McGill: Oh? Like the one Joe Biden was proposing?

(VIDEO: 6/10/2019 PCW Extreme Political TV) Joe Biden’s voice: Perhaps I can be of assistance.

Joe Biden, former Aide de Camp to former PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and the twenty-second candidate to declare for the 2020 race, comes out.

He strolls out to the ring and stands behind McGill.

Joe Biden: If I become the next CEO of the Political Universe in 2020, I plan on taking a more ‘hands-on’ approach than Donald Trump has.

As he talks, Biden puts his hands on McGill’s shoulders- much to her surprise…and annoyance.

Joe Biden: Not to say that Ms. McGill-

Dawn McGill (pointedly): Miss!

Joe Biden: …has done a bad job of running PCW…

Biden rubs McGill’s shoulders.

Joe Biden: …but we need a different approach than the one offered by Donald Trump. I plan on bringing a new vision to bring us closer together…

His hands start moving down- much to McGill’s alarm. She finally turns around and whispers something in Biden’s ear.

Joe Biden: …huh?

McGill continues to whisper something to Biden.

Joe Biden: If I don’t stop doing that you’re going to do what?

McGill rolls her eyes and explains to him again what the problem is and what will happen if he doesn’t stop.

Joe Biden: I’m sorry but that seems physically impossible to do- to yourself.

Dawn McGill: How bad do you want to find out?

Biden wisely removes said hands from McGill’s person. (END VIDEO)

Dawn McGill: Yeah. Again, not happening.

Nadler accused her of ‘obstruction’ of his oversight.

Pelosi again threatened to take matters into her own hands if McGill did not acquiesce to her demand.

McGill called herself a businesswoman – an ordinary person trying to make ends meet in an increasingly toxic atmosphere by politicians just like Pelosi and Schiff.

Dawn McGill: Perhaps if Joe didn’t send Hunter Biden to try to buy my silence after he got all handsy on me-

Pelosi quickly cut her off.

Nancy Pelosi: Well, I think we’ve heard enough.

Jerry Nadler: I agree.

Adam Schiff: Let’s finish this damn thing right now!

Dawn McGill: Yes. Let’s finish this now.

McGill stood up from her chair.

Dawn McGill: We’re not going to sit here and take this from you anymore. If Dianne Feinstein can leave early, we’re going to leave too.

McGill turned and motioned to the PCW supporters in the hearing room who suddenly prepared to take their leave.

Dawn McGill: Ladies? Gentlemen? We’re done here.

And with that, they began to exit from the hearing room while humming ‘The Star Spangled Banner’- kind of like this…

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This, of course, pissed off Pelosi and Schiff to no end.

Nancy Pelosi: Where do you think you’re going? You’re not walking out on this one!

But they were. The PCW supporters continued to exit as Schiff banged the gavel on the table and tried to restore order.

Nancy Pelosi: You’ve bought it this time. You’re finished!

More supporters left while Schiff continued to bang the gavel down on the table.

Nancy Pelosi: I’m taking you down. I’m taking ALL of you down.

And more supporters streamed from the hearing room.

Nancy Pelosi: No more PCW.

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McGill bent down and furiously scribbled away on a sheet of paper. Finally she glanced up and faced Pelosi.

Dawn McGill: And just to clarify. When Trump ‘purchased’ PCW, he bought the right to air and produce the show. *I* still own the PCW name. *I* still own the shows and intellectual property. *I* still own the pay per views.

She held up the paper.

Dawn McGill: And with my signature right here on this sheet of paper, I just reclaimed my right to air and produce PCW shows as I see fit.

Pelosi and Schiff’s jaws dropped.

Dawn McGill: You can call this…a wres-xit.

Then she turned and left with the rest.

* * *

Johnny Suave (voiceover): “But then COVID happened and like many small businesses, McGill and PCW found themselves shut down while larger, corporate wrestling organizations continued to run. After running a few house shows in January and February, PCW went dark in 2020. But that didn’t mean there were forces in play intending to put on Extreme Election 2020 without her. George Moros and the Coke Brothers- big time billionaires with money to burn on political things- announced in September they planned to run an Extreme Election Night 2020 show in November 2020. There was just one problem- the nanosecond Dawn McGill caught wind of this scheme, she marched right into a courthouse and initiated legal action. Suffice to say, Moros and the Coke Brothers were not pleased with her response. You see, McGill, Moros, and the Coke Brothers had butted heads before…”

(VIDEO: February 2019-After PCW’s D.C. Armory Supershow) It’s late. The fans have left. The wrestlers have left. PCW Owner Dawn McGill finally walks out of the D.C. Armory two and a half hours after the show ends. She gets into her rental vehicle and pulls out of the parking lot.

Dawn heads north on 19th Street SE and stops at the light at East Capitol Street NE. Traffic is light and she’s the only one stopped at the intersection.

Her mind occupied, she did not see the pair of headlights coming up fast behind her.

But she felt the impact when the vehicle slammed into the back of her car. Dawn gets pitched forward but the airbag immediately deploys and the seat belt holds firm.

Four men exit the large SUV equipped with a heavy duty front bumper that easily absorbed the collision. One man rips open the driver’s door and another one helps him pull a dazed McGill out of the car. A third man swoops in and places a strip of duct tape over her mouth. The fourth yanks her arms behind her back and zipties her wrists together.

They drag her back to the SUV and throw her into the back seat. It’s there she finds out who’s behind this.

The Coke Brothers and George Moros. Financiers of both factions.

George Moros: We all need to have a little talk here.

Then a cloth hood is placed over her head.

Of course, McGill would respond at the next PCW Extreme Political TV show.

(VIDEO: 2/17/2019-PCW Extreme Political TV) Dawn McGill: I so did not expect to spend my Saturday night after the show ziptied in the back of a SUV.

The crowd boos. McGill tells them it’s okay. The Establishment got pissed off at her so she got to go for a little ride around Washington D.C. while Coke Brothers and George Moros tried to intimidate her.

More boos from the PCW fans.

McGill explains the Cokes and Moros were a little upset that PCW got to keep running while the Red and Blue shows were shut down…they impressed on her that PCW could be squashed like a little bug like many other small time, mom and pop, undercapitalized businesses are when they run up against the big boys.

Dawn McGill: They basically wanted me to back down and go away because I was ‘distracting’ people away from their ‘business’…their high priced wrestlers paid for by their high priced money masters. I told them they could kiss my ass. Oh…and I also told them they could go *BLEEP* themselves.

The PCW fans stand up and let out a loud, loud cheer,

McGill says that contrary to the spin and the media’s narratives, PCW is doing a lot better than anyone could have imagined. A lot better.

Dawn McGill: We’re proving that you don’t need corporate money to succeed. We’re proving that you don’t need a governmental bureaucracy to succeed. All we need is an equal playing field. All we want is for everyone to play under the same set of rules. No special dispensations. One set of rules for EVERYONE no matter WHO you are! We’re building PCW from the ground up and we’re doing it ourselves!

The crowd stands and cheers when McGill proclaims that ‘we ain’t going nowhere!’ and *BLEEP* the Establishment!

Johnny Suave (voiceover): “McGill prevailed over Moros and the Coke Brothers and she made sure PCW Extreme Election Night 2020 did in fact take place on November 3rd, 2020. How would it go? We’ll find out soon enough. Thursday December 31st. PCW presents Extreme Election Night 2020. Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden.”

PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020

MAIN EVENT: Donald Trump (American Patriots) vs. Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance)- winner becomes the CEO of PCW for the next four years.

PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels vs. ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Vice Squad: Al Cahall and Nic Koteen (American Heartland Coalition)

PLUS:

ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance)

MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance)

#politics #political #conservative #liberal #moderate #independent #republican #democrat #election 2020 #2020 election #Donald Trump #joe biden

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pcwpolwrestling · 4 years

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Chapter One- The Return of PCW

PCW Executive Director Dawn McGill

To say that the last six months have been frustrating for Dawn McGill would be an understatement of epic proportion. Having her show taken off the air and having to endure the Star Chamber of Pelosi, Schiff, and Nadler and their investigation had been not only tough on her but the PCW talent as well.

As 2019 came to a close, Dawn fired off a shot across the bow when the PCW Christmas show suddenly aired causing a few eyebrows to be raised. The show featured both PCW and Women’s Champion working non-title matches and the tag team champions Rah and Halitosis headlining against The Professional Bad Guys- Hans Grueber and Carl Vreski in a Nakotomi Towers Death Match.

As 2020 arrived, McGill finally said the hell with it and pulled the trigger. As she was unceremoniously hauled before the Pelosi-Schiff-Nadler hearings again, Dawn had a plan and knew exactly what she was going to do.

That brings us to PCW- The Hearings…in January

PCW Headquarters – Washington D.C. Today was THE day. The hearing with the express purpose of determining whether or not Dawn McGill would be removed as the Executive Director of Political Championship Wrestling.

Now, you may be asking yourself, “wait a second. I thought she owned PCW.” Well, let’s go back a few months to May of 2019.

[REPLAY: 5/2/2019-Donald Trump (R-NY)]

The CEO of Political Championship Wrestling Donald Trump explains why the Red Brand and Blue Brand went dark, shows were cancelled, and why PCW ran replays of shows from ten years ago over the past two weeks. Short and to the point, Trump states the current method of doing business with three brands wasn’t working so, he felt it was time to make a change.

Then he attaches a red stone to the gauntlet. Then he snaps his fingers and says Red Brand is no more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – let out a loud cheer. Trump then attaches a blue stone to the gauntlet and snaps his fingers and proclaims the Blue Brand. No more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – groan. Then Trump attaches a white and black stone with PCW written on it to the gauntlet. But this time he doesn’t snap his fingers. Trump announces he made PCW owner Dawn McGill a generous offer for PCW that sets her up for life and she accepted. So what does that mean? McGill’s investment in trying to keep PCW alive just paid off for her in a big, big way. The Red and Blue Brand will consolidate under PCW. So, who will lead PCW going forward?

Dawn McGill comes out followed by PCW Hall of Famers “No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Justin Sufferable. McGill shakes Trump’s hand as does Escondido and Sufferable.

There’s a disturbance and male voice shouts out: “GET THAT GAUNTLET! THE FATE OF THE POLITICAL UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT!”

But before they can reach him: Escondido steps in to kick Evans in the balls. He then power slams Evans. Sufferable chops Downey Jr. with an open hand and drives him to the floor with the Lou Thesz press. McGill stops Larson in her tracks with a Spinning Heel kick and then follows with the McGill Bomb (sit-out powerbomb).

Dawn McGill: I said this before but let me make this clear to the Establishment…PCW is not here for you. PCW is here for…THEM…the fans. All we need to succeed is our fans and their support.

Schiff doesn’t waste time cutting to the chase- he wants to know about the deal Donald Trump made with her in May 2019.

Schiff fired back that he believed it’s easy to connect the dots that prove McGill clearly was in cahoots with the Les Miserables – the one Schiff felt were directly responsible for preventing Hillary Clinton from winning in 2016. He demands to know if there was any quid pro pro- McGill sold PCW in return for Trump putting an end the Red and Blue Brand shows.

[REPLAY: Nadler Committee Reacts]

There’s lots of screaming, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Some random person shouts out “IT’S THE APOCOLYPSE!” Nadler pounds his gavel over and over and over while yelling “I WILL HAVE OVERSIGHT!” over and over and but it comes out like…

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McGill also made sure to recognize that the American Patriots didn’t take the news so well either.

[REPLAY: Republican Reaction]

Several Republicans muse aloud whether or not this is going to be good for business. And then there’s…

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Schiff continued to press the issue and asked if McGill took into consideration that Trump could be breaking the law by making a deal with her.With a bemused grin, McGill asked which particular law Schiff was referring to.

Schiff said that’s what they’re trying to find out.

Dawn McGill: Oh? Is that kind of like passing a bill just to see what exactly is in the bill?

McGill retorted she couldn’t help that elements remained inside the Progressive Alliance who still blamed Romanov for Trump defeating Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Pelosi made sure to reference the match at 2008’s Extreme Election Night between then-champion Starz N. Stripes (now Kevin Scott) – representing John McCain- and challenger O’Beck Bahama- representing Barack Obama- one the greatest matches ever in PCW history. She implored McGill to be reasonable and allow a return to that very system.

McGill remained steadfast. She told Pelosi that both sides have allowed others to fight their battles for too long and maintained 2020 would have the same format of 2016.

Pelosi strenously objected and called her a puppet- one more reason why she should be impeach- . . . er . . . removed as the Executive Director of PCW.

Nancy Pelosi: The people vying to become the next CEO of the Political Universe are not ‘ordinary’ men and women and should not be treated as such.

McGill fired back that regardless of what special privileges she feels they are owed, the fact remained that they are ‘people’ and should be subject to the same rules everyone else is.

Pelosi then brought up the time McGill allegedly hurt the feelings of a wrestler who wanted to wrestle a match under the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals rules.

What was Pelosi talking about?

THE CALIFORNIA 9th CIRCUIT OF APPEALS RULES The California 9th Circuit of Appeals Rules state that the referee’s ruling in the ring can be appealed and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals can overturn the result and order a match restarted as many times as necessary until the ‘correct’ political outcome is achieved.

McGill rolled her eyes and then recounted the incident.

(VIDEO: 6/10/2019 PCW Extreme Political TV)

The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior (Progressive Alliance) raises an objection.

Dawn McGill: Go ahead.

Ultimate Social Justice Warrior: I demand that my upcoming match be wrestled under California’s Ninth Circuit Appeals Court Rules. If my demand isn’t met, I will walk out.

Dawn McGill: Okay. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the Green World Order will replace the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior in the match.

That pisses off the USJW.

Ultimate Social Justice Warrior: Wait! You can’t do that! By not giving in to my demand, you’re preventing me from having a chance to compete in the match.

McGill waves at him.

Pelosi immediately accused McGill of acting like, judge, jury, and executioner in refusing to acquiesce to the SJW’s request.

McGill shot back that SJW wanted special dispensation.

Dawn McGill: This is the exact reason why I wanted to go to a merit-based system where wins and losses are the final determinater and not politics. And that’s when all this stuff started blowing up for real.

Schiff said another reason McGill should be removed from PCW is because of a whistleblower who came forward to report improprieties. McGill quickly replied the ‘whistleblower’ is one Nicholas Tarkowski whom she caught rummaging through her belongings looking for evidence.

Dawn McGill: And we all know what happened after that now, don’t we?

(VIDEO: 4/1/2019 PCW Extreme Political TV)

Adam Schiff (D-CA) calls out Dawn McGill and Corrina Romanov. Schiff states he doesn’t care what Robert Mueller says, he’s found proof of Russian Collusion right here in PCW. He accuses McGill of being blackmailed by Russian referee Romanov into giving her job back and giving her a promotion.

Jerry Nadler (NY-Progressive Alliance) says Tarkowski found evidence in McGill’s office of Russian Collusion. Salacious photos of McGill and a letter that references both McGill and Romanov demanding money.

The Guild of Low-Level Reporters and Conservative Inc. both believe it’s collusion.

Jerry Nadler: There’s collusion all right…there’s collusion everywhere, I tell ya…everywhere!

Now the spotlight turns to McGill and Romanov.

Dawn McGill: it’s not Russian Collusion, you dolt. It’s a makeover. Both Corrina and myself got makeovers.

McGill holds up the ‘letter demanding money.’

Dawn McGill: This is a ‘past due’ letter from the spa because…oops…I forgot to pay the bill on time.

McGill holds up one of the ‘compromising’ photos.

Dawn McGill: And this is a photo from a recent photoshoot I had taken to celebrate the fact that I’ve lost over thirty pounds…

Schiff implied McGill may be guilty of retaliation in her response to Tarkowski.

(VIDEO: 4/1/2019 PCW Extreme Political TV)

The camera is situated behind McGill. She reclines comfortably in a black Barcalounger Coss II Wall Proximity Hugger Lay Flat Recliner Chair with a wash cloth covering her eyes, her right foot propped up on the foot rest and adorned with cotton balls in between each toe and the left foot soaking in a foot bath. We see a pair of hands carefully applying red polish to Dawn’s toenails.

The camera pulls back. It’s Nicholas Tarkowski. He’s painting Dawn’s toenails and taking great care not to get any polish on her skin.

McGill reminded Schiff she could have – and maybe should have – filed charges against Tarkowski for violating her privacy and stealing her mail.

Schiff responded it didn’t matter and claimed Tarkowski isn’t the only one who has ‘dirt’ on PCW.

Adam Schiff: We’ve received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion, so profound – and disgusting – that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Schiff declared there is a solution to this problem- the removal of Dawn McGill followed by strict oversight of PCW by Schiff’s and Nadler’s committee.

McGill’s response?

Dawn McGill: Yeah, that’s not happening.

Pelosi threatened McGill that oversight is coming whether she likes it or not and if need be they will personally take control of PCW to ensure that there’s appropriate oversight.

Dawn McGill: Oh? Like the one Joe Biden was proposing?

(VIDEO: 6/10/2019 PCW Extreme Political TV)

Joe Biden’s voice: Perhaps I can be of assistance.

Joe Biden, former Aide de Camp to former PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and the twenty-second candidate to declare for the 2020 race, comes out.

He strolls out to the ring and stands behind McGill.

Joe Biden: If I become the next CEO of the Political Universe in 2020, I plan on taking a more ‘hands-on’ approach than Donald Trump has.

As he talks, Biden puts his hands on McGill’s shoulders- much to her surprise…and annoyance.

Joe Biden: Not to say that Ms. McGill-

Dawn McGill (pointedly): Miss!

Joe Biden: …has done a bad job of running PCW…

Biden rubs McGill’s shoulders.

Joe Biden: …but we need a different approach than the one offered by Donald Trump. I plan on bringing a new vision to bring us closer together…

His hands start moving down- much to McGill’s alarm. She finally turns around and whispers something in Biden’s ear.

Joe Biden: …huh?

McGill continues to whisper something to Biden.

Joe Biden: If I don’t stop doing that you’re going to do what?

McGill rolls her eyes and explains to him again what the problem is and what will happen if he doesn’t stop.

Joe Biden: I’m sorry but that seems physically impossible to do- to yourself.

Dawn McGill: How bad do you want to find out?

Biden wisely removes said hands from McGill’s person.

Nadler accused her of ‘obstruction’ of his oversight.

Pelosi again threatened to take matters into her own hands if McGill did not acquiesce to her demand.

McGill called herself a businesswoman – an ordinary person trying to make ends meet in an increasingly toxic atmosphere by politicians just like Pelosi and Schiff.

Dawn McGill: Perhaps if Joe didn’t send Hunter Biden to try to buy my silence after he got all handsy on me-

Pelosi quickly cut her off.

Nancy Pelosi: Well, I think we’ve heard enough.

Jerry Nadler: I agree.

Adam Schiff: Let’s finish this damn thing.

Nancy Pelosi: Right now!

McGill stood up from her chair.

Dawn McGill: That’s right. We’re not going to sit here and take this from you anymore. If Dianne Feinstein can leave early, we’re going to leave too.

McGill turned and motioned to the PCW supporters in the hearing room who suddenly prepared to take their leave.

Dawn McGill: Ladies? Gentlemen? We’re done here.

And with that, they began to exit from the hearing room while humming ‘The Star Spangled Banner’- kind of like this…

This, of course, pissed off Pelosi and Schiff to no end.

Nancy Pelosi: Where do you think you’re going? You’re not walking out on this one!

But they were. The PCW supporters continued to exit as Schiff banged the gavel on the table and tried to restore order.

Nancy Pelosi: You’ve bought it this time. You’re finished!

More supporters left while Schiff continued to bang the gavel down on the table.

Nancy Pelosi: I’m taking you down. I’m taking ALL of you down. No more fun and games Miss McGill.

And more supporters streamed from the hearing room.

Nancy Pelosi: No more PCW-

McGill furiously scribbled away on a sheet of paper. Finally she glanced up and faced Pelosi.

Dawn McGill: Oh. Just to clarify. When Trump ‘purchased’ PCW, he bought the right to air and produce the show. *I* still own the PCW name. *I* still own the shows and intellectual property. *I* still own the pay per views.

She held up the paper.

Dawn McGill: And with my signature right here on this sheet of paper, I just reclaimed my right to air and produce PCW shows as I see fit.

Pelosi and Schiff’s jaws dropped.

Dawn McGill: You can call this…a wres-xit.

Then she got up from the chair and left with the rest.

#politics #political #political satire #political wrestling #political nation #democrats #republicans #president trump #conservative #liberal #left wing #right wing #moderate #independents #centrists #2020 election

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pcwpolwrestling · 5 years

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6/10/19-PCW Political War on P-SPAN

PCW Returns! -Reaction and fallout from Trump’s huge announcement -FOX NEWS: Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity vs. MSNBC: Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews vs. CNN: Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon -The Sports Entertainment Coalition’s Mr. McMann introduces a new member -Seven Team Tag Team Elimination Match -Six Women Elimination Match -Executive Director Dawn McGill speaks/Joe Biden shows up. -The Dork Dynasty’s Final PCW Match -MAIN EVENT: Seven Man Elimination Match

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

Johnny Suave (voiceover): Last month, CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump dropped one hell of a bombshell.

PCW CEO Donald Trump (R-NY)

REPLAY: 5/2/2019-Donald Trump’s Intergalactically Huge Announcement

Trump behind the podium.

Donald Trump: Thank you. Okay. The reason I’m talking to you today is there’s been some questions about why the Red Brand and Blue Brand have gone dark and cancelled shows and why PCW has run replays of shows from ten years ago over the past two weeks. Short and to the point, the current method of doing business with three brands isn’t working. So, it’s time to make a change.

…

Trump reaches under the podium and pulls out an Infinity Gauntlet (the same one featured in the Avengers movie). He places said Infinity Gauntlet on his right hand. Trump raises his hand in the air.

Then he attaches a red stone to the gauntlet. Then he snaps his fingers.

Donald Trump: The Red Brand is no more.

The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – let out a loud cheer.

Trump then attaches a blue stone to the gauntlet. Again, he snaps his fingers.

Donald Trump: Blue Brand. No more.

The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – groan.

…

Trump attaches a white and black stone with PCW on it on to the gauntlet. But he doesn’t snap his fingers.

Donald Trump: I made PCW owner Dawn McGill a generous offer for PCW that sets her up for life. She accepted. So what does that mean? McGill’s investment in trying to keep PCW alive just paid off for her in a big, big way. The Red and Blue Brand will consolidate under PCW. So, who will lead PCW going forward?

Out walks Dawn McGill followed by PCW Hall of Famers “No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Justin Sufferable. McGill shakes Trump’s hand as does Escondido and Sufferable.

Johnny Suave (v/o): But what you didn’t see was this…

REPLAY: 5/2/2019-Trump’s Speech

Trump is taking questions from the press. There’s a disturbance.

Male Voice: GET THAT GAUNTLET! THE FATE OF THE POLITICAL UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT!

Suddenly, Captain America (aka Chris Evans dressed in costume), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.- in costume), and Captain Marvel (Brie Larson- you guessed it, in costume) rush towards Trump and his Infinity Gauntlet that’s made the Red Brand and Blue Brand specific shows disappear.

But before they can reach him: -Escondido kicks Evans in the balls and then power slams him. -Sufferable chops Downey Jr and drives him to the floor with the Lou Thesz press. -McGill stops Larson in her tracks with a Spinning Heel kick and then follows with the McGill Bomb (sit-out powerbomb).

Johnny Suave (v/o): So, what happens next? PCW Extreme Political TV returns with a special two hour show.

==============================

PCW Political War on P-SPAN Special Monday June 10th, 2019 Taped Saturday June 8th, 2019 Joseph Gentile Center Chicago, IL

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

==============================

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

The camera pans all over the Joseph Gentile Center as PCW is on the air!

Spotlights move back and forth through the crowd.

Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder stand in the ring.

Suave is his usual excitable self.

Johnny Suave: HELLO CHICAGO! Welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV and welcome everyone to the new era of PCW.

Crowder on the other hand…

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe this happened. Donald Trump has abused his authority once again and even worse, he put Dawn McGill of all people in charge?

Johnny Suave: Well, seeing as PCW was profitable, spending money within their means, and growing an audience may have had something to do with it.

Colleen Crowder: Trump is giving McGill preferential treatment.

Johnny Suave: I’m sure this clip explains why Dawn McGill was put in charge.

FINANCIAL GURU DAVE RAMSEY TALKS WITH: Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Mitch McConnell (R-KY), Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), and Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

Ramsey talks to the group about getting out of debt.

Ramsey describes in depth the steps needed in order to not only balance the budget but also pay off the national debt.

Pelosi, Schumer, McCarthy, and McConnell all return vacant stares.

Nancy Pelosi: Why can’t we just print more money?

Chuck Schumer: Or raise taxes.

Nancy Pelosi: Right. Or raise taxes.

Ramsey slaps his forehead. Then he shakes his head.

Colleen Crowder: See?

Johnny Suave: If Colleen Crowder’s reaction was ridiculously predictable…

Colleen Crowder: Hey!

Johnny Suave: …the reaction of Jerry Nadler’s (D-NY) Oversight committee to Trump deleting the Red and Blue Brand shows.

Cut to:

NADLER COMMITTEE OVERREACTION Lots of screaming, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

Random Voice: IT’S THE APOCOLYPSE!

Jerry Nadler (D-NY) -chairman of the PCW Oversight Committee -arch-foe of PCW CEO Donald Trump

Nadler pounds his gavel and shouts “I WILL HAVE OVERSIGHT!” over and over and but it comes out like…

youtube

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

Johnny Suave: Of course, the American Patriots have their concerns too.

REPUBLICANS OVERREACTION We see several Republicans musing aloud whether or not this is going to be good for business. And then there’s…

youtube

Cut back to Suave and Crowder:

Suave runs down tonight’s show: -Fox News vs. CNN vs. MSNBC in a tag match -First Round Tag Team Consolidation Match -First Round Women’s Consolidation Match -First Round PCW Title Consolidation Match -Plus, the Dork Dynasty makes their final PCW appearance tonight.

Johnny Suave: Also, Dawn McGill WILL be here and go over tonight’s matches.

Colleen Crowder (unenthusiastically): Yeah.

Johnny Suave: And we will have our first match of the night right after this.

**************************

COMMERCIAL BREAK

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PCW ON THE ROAD June 15th – Hale Arena / Kansas City, MO June 21st – North Iowa Events Center / Mason City, IA June 22nd – Knapp Center / Des Moines, IA June 23rd – Tyson Events Center / Sioux City, IA June 30th – Indiana Farmer’s Coliseum / Indianapolis, IN July 4th – Chisholm Trail Coliseum / Enid, OK July 7th – Athletics-Recreation Center / Valparaiso, IN July 8th – Allen County War Memorial Coliseum / Fort Wayne, IN

**************************

The Guild of Low Level Reporters Trying to Make a Name for Themselves (Sharon Johns of CNN, Dan Miller of the Washington Post) join Suave and Colleen at the broadcast table for the first match of the night.

MATCH ONE-FOX NEWS: Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity vs. MSNBC: Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews vs. CNN: Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon The match barely gets under way when there’s a disturbance in the force. That ‘force’ is Mollie Hemingway, columnist for The Federalist and Fox News contributor, who comes flying down the aisle with a steel folding chair.

Johnny Suave: Mollie Hemingway is coming to the ring with a steel folding chair. I wonder what she has in mind.

We find out right away when Matthews waddles over to cut her off and…

*WHACK* Down goes Matthews.

*WHACK* Down goes Lemon.

Maddow races over.

*WHACK* Down goes Maddow.

Then Cuomo.

*WHACK* Down goes Cuomo.

Suave is stunned. Crowder goes nuts. She calls for help…which she gets but…

MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell races down, face beet red and he’s really pissed off.

*WHACK* Down goes O’Donnell.

Then it’s CNN’s Reliable Sources host Brian Stelter. He’s righteously indignant over Hemingway’s attack. Stelter goes up to her and wags his finger at him.

*WHACK* Down goes Stelter. *WHACK* She gives him another chairshot.

Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity turn to each other.

Sean Hannity: Should we do something about this?

Tucker Carlson: Are you kidding me? Hell no.

The crowd can’t believe what’s going on. But wait, there’s more…

The New York Times’ Maggie Haberman sprints down. Colleen Crowder cheers as Haberman goes after Hemingway. Then…

*WHACK* Haberman staggers back. *WHACK* Down goes Haberman.

Crowder becomes sad. Miller jumps up when Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post runs down to the ring.

*WHACK* Down goes Rubin.

Miller sits back down. Next, Jim Acosta of CNN. Sharon Johns excitedly stands up as Acosta demands that a single, solitary spotlight be shown on him and him only.

*WHACK* Down goes Acosta. *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Colleen Crowder: Okay. Is this all really necessary?

Johnny Suave: Jim Acosta enjoys the limelight. He should be fine with this.

Hemingway drags Maddow and Cuomo to the middle of the ring. She covers and shouts at the referee to make the cover. He does.

WINNER: Mollie Hemingway @ 5:17

Hemingway drops the chair. A close of up the chair shows it is bent all to hell.

Crowder is livid.

Johnny Suave: You’re just mad because Mollie Hemingway just cleaned the clock of the alleged mainstream media- which she’s been pretty much doing for the past three years.

BACKSTAGE WITH THE SEC Corporate Sports(entertainment) Programming Nation reporters Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris are on hand for a big announcement.

Sports Entertainment Coalition MGR: ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann ALIGN: 90% Heel MGR #2: ‘Mouthpiece of the SEC’ Phil Finebaum ALIGN: 95% Heel

With the CSPN cameras running, ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, ‘SEC Mouthpiece’ Phil Finebaum, and CSPN CEO Mark Splitter walk out with the current Women’s Champion of the Political Universe Christa Carmondy.

Christa Carmondy AGE: 29 / HT: 5′ 9″ WT: 150 / HOME: St. Louis, MO STYLE: All-Around-Technical / FIN: Mean Girl Crush

Johnny Suave: McMann is lucky just to be here.

REPLAY: Donald Trump’s Big Announcement

Trump fires McMann as Executive Director of the Red and Blue Brand shows.

Dawn McGill rehires McMann as a personality/leader of the SEC.

McMann introduces Christa as the newest member of the Sports Entertainment Coalition.

Mr. McMann: The SEC is the gold standard in Political Championship Wrestling because more people care about sports than they do politics. Only the best of the best get invited into the SEC. Miller and Williams will tear the tag team division apart. Christa Carmondy’s high level of wrestling skill will elevate her past the rest of the women in PCW.

Christa Carmondy: Christa Carmondy is better than every single woman wrestling later on tonight. Christa Carmondy is a better wrestler than the PCW paper champion Yosemite Samantha. The SEC is better than any other faction in this company and they will make sure the nipping poodles don’t come near me.

Johnny Suave: And apparently Christa Carmondy likes to refer to herself in the third person.

Phil Finebaum gets the last word- as usual.

Phil Finebaum: The SEC does not rebuild. The SEC reloads. People wash out of the SEC. Miller, Williams, Carmondy, and ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson are major upgrades. The SEC is stronger than ever. My faction is better than your faction.

**************************

COMMERCIAL BREAK

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MATCH TWO-TAG TEAM MATCH PCW Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall announces the eight teams. –Jill Berg Enterprises: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks –The Bi-Partisan Dream Team: RINO and Blue Dog D –Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots) –The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger and James Idahola –The Sports Entertainment Corporation: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous Dan Williams –Truckin’ Average Company: Ken Worth-American Trucker and Brad Company –The Green World Order: GreenPete and PeaceNick

The winner to face Union Jack and James the Auto Worker from the Progressive Alliance and PCW Tag Team Champions Rah and Halitosis in two weeks.

The Bi-Partisan Dream Team, The Young Jerks, The Green World Order, and Truckin’ Average Company start in a four corners match. After the first three eliminations, a team will come down to take the place of the eliminated tag team.

The Bi-Partisan Dream Team are the first to go because, of course, Bi-Partisanship is not a popular currency at the moment.

Bipartisan Dream Team eliminated at 4:12 / Jill Berg Enterprises enters.

Walstreit and Banks clean house. The Young Jerks are the next to go.

The Young Jerks eliminated at 6:09 / Weapons of Mass Destruction enters.

A-Bomb and H-Bomb go crazy hitting Atomic and Hydrogen Powerbombs on everything in sight. The GWO succumb to the onslaught.

The Green World Order eliminated at 8:35 / The Sports Entertainment Coalition enters.

Down to the final four.

The SEC and WMD engage in a wild brawl. Walstreit and Banks of JBE take care of Ken Worth-American Trucker and Truckin’ Average Company is the next to go.

Truckin’ Average Company eliminated at 11:09

Miller and Williams (SEC) win the hoss battle and eliminate WMD.

Weapons of Mass Destruction eliminated at 14:41

Jill Berg Enterprises: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks vs. The Sports Entertainment Coalition: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams remain.

Miller and Williams attack Walstreit and Banks. Brief brawl between the two teams goes in favor of the SEC.

Miller lifts Banks in the air and hits the Southern Cross. He lays in the boots on Banks.

Williams locks in the Devil’s Triangle on Walstreit with the clear intent of choking him out.

Outside the ring, Gordon Guyko is screaming at the referee to stop this. Finally Melissa climbs into the ring, takes off one of her heels, and whaps Miller in the head.

Bad move.

Miller grabs her by the hair. Lift. Southern Cross.

Walstreit taps out but the referee does not see it. He’s busy trying to rescue Melissa from Dave Miller. Banks breaks up the submission hold which infuriates Williams. He corners Banks and is about to inflict bodily harm on him. Walstreit comes in from behind and slaps on the sleeper hold.

Now it’s Williams in big trouble. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann jumps onto the apron and claims Walstreit is choking his wrestler. The referee manages to pull Miller away from Melissa and sees Walstreit’s submission hold. Miller goes to make the save. Banks intercepts him and the two roll under the bottom rope and off the apron to the floor.

Walstreit releases the sleeper, spins Williams around, lifts him into the air, and spikes him with the Stock Market Plunge. Cover. One. Two. Three.

WINNER: Jill Berg Enterprises: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks @ 21:08

SEC INTERVIEW IN THE RING Corporate Sports(entertainment) Programming Nation reporters Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris introduce ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, and CSPN CEO Mark Splitter in the ring.

Mr. McMann: The SEC is the gold standard in Missouri Valley Wrestling. Only the best of the best are invited into the SEC. Miller and Williams losing tonight due to poor refereeing is unfair- unfair to us and unfair to our fans. They would have torn apart Union Jack and James the Auto Worker from the Progressive Alliance and PCW Tag Team Champions Rah and Halitosis.

Morris asks about the rebuild of the SEC.

Finebaum jumps in on that one.

Phil Finebaum: With all due respect Rebecca, the SEC does not rebuild. The SEC reloads. As Mr. McMann said, some washed out of the SEC. They couldn’t make the grade. Miller, Williams, Carmondy, and ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson are major upgrades. The SEC is stronger than ever. My faction is better than your faction.

Finebaum pauses…

Phil Finebaum: And Jim Harbaugh still sucks.

CSPN CEO Mark Splitter chimes in.

Mark Splitter: CSPN is the worldwide corporate forerunner in sports entertainment. We partnered with the SEC because sports entertainment is in our DNA and Mr. McMann epitomizes sports entertainment. CSPN is pleased to see that the SEC has rebounded from their recent issues. Once ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson wins the PCW Title, the SEC will regain their rightful place at the top of the PCW mountain. CSPN will be there to document it every step of the way and bring it to you, our fans.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK

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MATCH THREE-WOMEN’S MATCH Kimber Marshall is back out to introduce the wrestlers for the Women’s Match. –Jill Berg (Jill Berg Enterprises) –‘Former Hooters’ Waitress’ C.J. Lewis –Codee Pink (Progressive Alliance) –‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot –‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan (Progressive Alliance) –‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (Main Street USA)

The winner to face the SEC’s Christa Carmondy and PCW Women’s Champion Yosemite Samantha in two weeks.

All six women in the ring.

Berg snaps off several spinning heel kicks to start the match. Then she runs into the ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan. Carrigan nearly drives Berg through the ring with a vicious powerbomb and then finishes her off with the Canadian Destroyer. Carrigan deposits Berg over the top rope.

Jill Berg eliminated at 3:02

Harlot and Codee Pink brawl on one side. Haley Dallas and C.J. Lewis on the other. Codee Pink gets a little outside assistance from Emily S. List and blinds Harlot with a Glitter Bomb. She goes to dump the Queen of the Trailer Park out. But Carrigan comes up from behind and clotheslines Codee Pink over the top rope to the floor.

Codee Pink eliminated at 5:32

Carrigan then tosses Harlot out too.

Lani Harlot eliminated at 5:54

Lewis, Carrigan, and Dallas left.

Dallas Texas Lariats Lewis up and out of the ring.

C.J. Lewis eliminated at 7:18

Down to Carrigan vs. Dallas. The Texas Cowgirl tries to keep Carrigan at arm’s length. But the Canadian Cyborg powers her way in and finishes the job at the ten minute mark.

WINNER: ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan @ 10:01

Sheline Carrigan ‘The Canadian Cyborg’ HT: 6’0″ WT: 145 / HOME: Vilbank, SK STYLE: Power-Technical / FIN: Canadian Destroyer

‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan is joined by her manager Coach E.J. Flack.

Coach E.J. Flack

E.J. points to the insignia on his jacket.

E.J. Flack: Ladies and gentlemen. My name is E.J. Flack and I am not here to change traditions. I am not here to pursue an agenda. I am here in Political Championship Wrestling because it is a challenge. And I eat challenges for breakfast. That’s why I’m here. And that’s why I am managing the next PCW Women’s champion. Sometimes in life, you have to face the big monster thingy. Sometimes in life, you have to take on something that’s bigger than you even if its huge tusks can shred you to bits in seconds…even if its jagged teeth can tear through you like a hot knife through warm butter. Sometimes when you’re climbing life’s mountain and come up against insurmountable odds, you have to…

Flack pauses for dramatic effect.

E.J. Flack: …Narfle the Garthok! Sheline Carrigan will do whatever it takes to get back to the top. We’ll wait our turn for now. But let me be clear. Carrigan’s coming for the Women’s title…sooner or late-

Suddenly, Carrigan gets blasted from behind by a steel folding chair.

Johnny Suave: IT’S KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS! KRC IS BACK!

Kathryn Randall Collins “KRC” HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 145 / HOME: Ft. Myers, FL STYLE: Technical / FIN: Gogoplata

KRC is also in the best shape of her life. She knocks Carrigan silly with the chair shots and then takes out Flack as well.

Kathryn Randall Collins: Carrigan. Christa Carmondy and PCW Women’s Champion Yosemite Samantha! You’re all on notice. I’m back and I’m going to help bring the Progressive Alliance wage war against those who wage war against women. KRC is back folks. Deal with it.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK

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DAWN McGILL SPEAKS Dawn comes out to address the fans and the wrestlers. She’s not dressed up all formal like she was at the Trump announcement. Tonight, it’s jeans, white button down shirt, flats.

Dawn McGill AGE: 37 / HT: 6’ 0″ WT: 145 / HOME: Dallas, TX HAIR: Blonde / STYLE: Rachael Taylor-ish

Dawn McGill: Welcome everyone.

But before she can get down to business…

In the Conservative Inc. section, the American Patriots/Never Trumpers/country club set (Bill Kristol. Charlie Sykes. Jonah Goldberg. David French. Tom Nichols. David Reaboi. Jennifer Rubin. David Brooks. Mitt Romney (UT-American Patriots), Rick Wilson, and S.E. Cupp are arguing once again with the Deplorables’s section right next to them.

In the Deplorables’s section: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, McAvay’s wife and one half of the famed West Texas Adult Entertainment duo Dark and Stormy, Stacee (Dark) Perry. Paige ‘Stormy’ Reynolds is also there along with Bert the Janitor.

Also with them, General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs.

Bill Kristol, wearing a captain’s hat and uniform as if he’s about to go sailing on a boat, shouts at General DeBauchery.

Bill Kristol: YOU PEOPLE DON’T BELONG! WE WILL SAVE THE REPUBLICANS FROM YOU AND TRUMP BY ACTING LIKE DEMOCRATS.

Kristol isn’t the only one unhappy.

From the left, Professor McCarthy brings his Flock out to the stage to express their anger over the consolidation of all three shows into PCW.

Professor McCarthy: I vowed never to set foot in red state, flyover country ever again. Since this merger has been unfairly forced upon us, we have no choice but to shout anyone and everyone down who doesn’t adhere to the good book.

Professor McCarthy waves his ‘good book’ in the air.

The Flock- Green World Order (Peta from PETA, GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, and PeaceNick, the Young Jerks (Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and Anna- the foul-mouthed sidekick), the Deep State (One and Two), Emily S. List, and Codee Pink also share Professor McCarthy’s revulsion towards red state, flyover country.

Professor McCarthy: Make our words. We will not be silenced. We will be the ones doing the silencing.

McGill reclaims her time. She sticks a couple fingers in her mouth and whistles into the microphone.

Dawn McGill: Hey-ya. Executive director here. SHUT UP!

The noise quiets down.

Dawn McGill: Professor McCarthy. We’ve been through this before. There’ll be no silencing of anyone. We’ve tried it your way (she points at McCarthy) and we’ve tried it their way (she points at Conservative, Inc.). It’s pretty damn clear to me that neither of you guys care about anything other than furthering your agendas at the expense of the people. You both suck. That’s why I’ve been put in charge after the consolidation. That is why as far as I’m concerned- PCW is now a political correctness-FREE zone!

The crowd rises up and cheers McGill.

One wrestler speaks up and wants to know why she was dressed so ‘corporate’ during Trump’s announcement?

Dawn McGill: I can answer that in one word. Respect.

Wrestler: Respect?

Dawn McGill: Yes. Respect. Donald Trump asked me to wear something business-like to the announcement so I did. Why? It’s about respect for the office. I don’t care who it is…George W. Bush, Barack Obama, or Donald Trump, no matter who in charge, I respect the office. Does that answer your question?

The wrestler nods in the affirmative.

Dawn McGill: I just want to add I’ve been fortunate that all the hard work over the years has paid off and I’d like to give something back to PCW. That’s why I accepted the Executive Director job to lead PCW forward.

McGill expresses her appreciation for everyone’s patience as she tries to incorporate three shows into one.

The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior (Progressive Alliance) raises an objection.

Dawn McGill: Go ahead.

Ultimate Social Justice Warrior: I demand that my upcoming match be wrestled under California’s Ninth Circuit Appeals Court Rules. If my demand isn’t met, I will walk out.

Dawn McGill: Okay. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the Green World Order will replace the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior in the match.

That pisses off the USJW.

Ultimate Social Justice Warrior: Wait! You can’t do that! By not giving in to my demand, you’re preventing me from having a chance to compete in the match.

McGill waves at him.

youtube

Johnny Suave: Wait a minute. First he says if McGill doesn’t agree to his rules that he’s walking out. She doesn’t agree. He walks out. And now she’s the bad person preventing him from being in the match?

Colleen Crowder: Makes sense to me.

Johnny Suave: It would.

Joe Biden’s voice: Perhaps I can be of assistance.

Joe Biden (D-DE) Former Aide de Camp to former PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) The twenty-second candidate to declare for the 2020 race.

Biden strolls out to the ring and stands behind McGill.

Joe Biden: If I become the next CEO of the Political Universe in 2020, I plan on taking a more ‘hands-on’ approach than Donald Trump has.

As he talks, Biden puts his hands on McGill’s shoulders- much to her surprise…and annoyance.

Joe Biden: Not to say that Ms. McGill-

Dawn McGill (pointedly): Miss!

Joe Biden: …has done a bad job of running PCW…

Biden rubs McGill’s shoulders.

Joe Biden: …but we need a different approach than the one offered by Donald Trump. I plan on bringing a new vision to bring us closer together…

His hands start moving down- much to McGill’s alarm. She finally turns around and whispers something in Biden’s ear.

Joe Biden: …huh?

McGill continues to whisper something to Biden.

Joe Biden: If I don’t stop doing that you’re going to do what?

McGill rolls her eyes and explains to him again what the problem is and what will happen if he doesn’t stop.

Joe Biden: I’m sorry but that seems physically impossible to do- to yourself.

Dawn McGill: How bad do you want to find out?

Biden wisely removes said hands from McGill’s person.

MATCH FOUR-THE DORK DYNASTY’S FINAL APPEARANCE-The Dork Dynasty: Sheldon and Leonard Robertson vs. The Goatbusters: Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz with Ergon Kimber Marshall comes out to do the in-ring introductions.

“Theme from the Big Bang Theory”- Barenaked Ladies

The Dork Dynasty Leonard Robertson – Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. AGE: 36 / HT: 5′ 10″ WT: 180 / HOME: Pasadena, CA ALIGN: 59% Face / STYLE: Scientific FIN: Big Bang death-Blast THEME SONG: Valet: Penny Sheldon Robertson – Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. AGE: 32 / HT: 6′ 4″ WT: 195 / HOME: Pasadena, CA ALIGN: 60% Heel / STYLE: Hardcore-Scientific / FIN: Big Bang death-Blast Valet: Amy

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

(sung to ‘Ghostbusters’) If there’s something grazing In your neighborhood Who you gonna call (Goatbusters) If you see a herd And it don’t look good Who you gonna call (Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns Running through your yard Who can you call (Goatbusters) If you have a goat Sleeping in your bed Oh, who you gonna call (Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call (Goatbusters) If you’re all alone Pick up the phone And call (Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat I hear it likes the girls I ain’t afraid of no Goat Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call (Goatbusters) If you’ve had a dose Of a freaky Goat Maybe you’d better call (Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat I ain’t afraid of no Goat

The Goatbusters walk out. Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz followed by Ergon walk down to the ring.

Background? It’s been well known that the Dorks were going to call it career in May and that day has come for the nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. The Goatbusters gets the call to be the Dork’s final opponent.

What Happened/Finisher? The Dorks actually get along with each other. They run through the hits and hit the Big Bang Deathblast on Scantz to score the win.

WINNER: The Dork Dynasty @ 10:58

Aftermath? Leonard cries after the match.

Sheldon tells the crowd ‘well of course you’re going to miss us.’

And Penny announces she’s pregnant.

Leonard Robertson: Whhhat?

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COMMERCIAL BREAK

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A GAME OF THRONES MOMENT-DEMOCRATS/PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE PCW Executive Director Dawn McGill is speaking with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY).

The backdrop is: a burned out part of a formerly grand castle called the Red Keep. An Iron Throne remains behind them- made from the swords of his vanquished enemies, fused by dragonfire, a physical seat of office as well as a metonym for the monarchy of Westeros.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: It’s not easy to see something that’s never been before…a good world.

Dawn McGill: How do you know? How do you know it will be good?

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Because we know what is good.

Dawn McGill: What about everyone else? All the other people who think they know what’s good?

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: If we have our way, they don’t get to choose.

Dawn McGill: I see…

McGill reaches back and grips the Singapore cane she carries with her…

Cut back to the broadcast desk. Crowder (again) is not happy.

Colleen Crowder: That is not a fair and accurate representation of the Progressive Alliance’s views.

Johnny Suave: I don’t know. I think that’s pretty spot on. Hold on. There’s more. There’s the other side of the coin.

A GAME OF THRONES MOMENT-REPUBLICANS/AMERICAN PATRIOTS ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay is speaking to Conservative, Inc. and trying to calm things down as tensions continue to be high between them and McAvay’s Deplorables.

Ray McAvay: Why just you? Why should the rich and well-connected people get to override the will of the people?

McAvay walks forward.

Ray McAvay: We had a vote. The status quo and the ruling elites lost. Maybe the decision about what’s best for everyone should be left to…everyone.

Conservative, Inc., all exhibiting facial expressions that make them appear to be constipated, try to digest what McAvay has just proposed.

Then one begins to laugh.

Then another.

And another.

Bill Kristol: Maybe we should give dogs the right to vote as well.

More laughter.

McAvay rolls his eyes.

Jennifer Rubin: I’ll ask my neighbor’s horse.

More laughter…howls of derision.

McAvay touches his nose. Bert the Janitor tosses him the Big Bertha Driver. And then…

Cut back to the broadcast desk. Crowder is happier.

Colleen Crowder: Okay. That makes more sense.

Johnny Suave: They both make sense. Main event right after this.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK

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Johnny Suave: Let’s go to Kimber Marshall in the ring for tonight’s main event.

MAIN EVENT-MEN’S MATCH Kimber Marshall is back out to introduce the contestant in tonight’s main event. –‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (Main Street USA) –Average Joe (Truckin’ Average Company) –‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) –‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott –‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson (Sports Entertainment Coalition) –‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (Deplorables) –‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Green World Order)

The winner to face ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay of the Deplorables and PCW Champion ‘Anti-Hollywood’ Stone Chism.

Seven men in the ring. One will advance on. Who will it be?

Well, we know who one of them won’t be. ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson immobilizes Average Joe with a powerbomb and then tosses him over the top rope for the first elimination.

Average Joe eliminated at 2:30

Dickinson chases down ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee next and dispatches him over the top rope the hard way to the floor.

‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee eliminated at 3:52

Colleen Crowder: That’s not right! I demand to voice my complaint about Brock Cole Lee’s unjust elimination. This proves that PCW referees aren’t interested in any sort of justice. He should disqualify Dickinson right away.

Johnny Suave: Don’t put yourself in a position to get eliminated then. We’re down to five.

Kevin Daniels takes off across the ring and tries to hit Dickinson with a high crossbody. Dickinson ducks under and back body drops Daniels over the top rope- Daniels lands on top of Brock Cole Lee.

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels eliminated at 4:15

Blackwell, Bryan, and Scott all look over at Dickinson like a pack of wolves scouting out their next meal. Dickinson suddenly realizes that his place in the match could now be in jeopardy- despite his huge weight advantage. He decides to try to escape under the top rope but Scott and Bryan pull him back in. Blackwell and Scott hit a double-team vertical suplex on Dickinson. Bryan crane kicks Dickinson onto an ethereal plane. Then all three neatly deposit him over the top rope for the elimination.

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson eliminated at 6:20

Down to three: Charlie Blackwell, William Daniels Bryan, and Kevin Scott. Everyone shows off their technical prowess with lots of early chain wrestling and reversals. Scott looked for openings to slap on his American Stars and Fujiwara Arm Bar while Bryan looked to hit another crane kick at the first earliest chance. Wrestling chess match. Blackwell held the upper hand in the early going. Scott rallied back in the middle part. Scott tried to slap on the American Stars and Fujiwara Arm Bar on Bryan close to the ropes. Bryan grabbed the ropes with his free hand and referee Ron Martin called for a break.

Scott broke the hold. Bryan popped back up and Blackwell slammed Scott into the corner turnbuckle. Scott staggered forward. Bryan lifted him up into a vertical position and planted him with a vertical suplex. Blackwell and Bryan then whipped Scott up and over the top rope.

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott eliminated at 10:15

Bryan matched Blackwell move for move. Both guys went for their finishers early and avoided each other’s submission moves. Then Blackwell and Bryan both whiffed on dropkicks and kipped back up for the respectful staredown. Blackwell probably held a slight edge in the early going as WDB still has a little ring rust to shake off. But the longer the match went on, the more Bryan settled in.

Bryan’s stamina began to fail him at the seventeen minute mark and allowed Blackwell to begin to string together moves. While the Deplorables did their best to try to keep Bryan going, Blackwell started to set up the Prairie Populist for the end.

After grounding Bryan in the middle of the ring, Blackwell slapped on the Katahajime and choked the remaining energy out of him. Blackwell then sent Bryan up and over and emerged as the winner.

William Daniels Bryan eliminated

WINNER: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell @ 18:56

Aftermath? Post-match staredown between both men. Finally, Charlie offered a hand. Bryan paused and thought about it for nearly a minute. Then he shook Blackwell’s hand and raised the winner’s arm in victory.

Johnny Suave: WDB is about ninety-five percent back. The problem is, as Rick pointed out earlier, Charlie Blackwell is running at about one hundred and twenty-five percent of where he was two years ago. I thought Bryan looked much better. Blackwell and Bryan slowly ramped up the tempo to build to something better later on- but that played right into Blackwell’s hands. Bryan ran out of gas late. Blackwell is just at a different level right now and he retains the title. Colleen?

Colleen rolls her eyes and just looks back at him with contempt and distain.

Suave previews the next edition of PCW Political War on P-SPAN…

NEXT TIME ON PCW ON P-SPAN -PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Union Jack and James the Auto Worker from the Progressive Alliance vs. PCW Tag Team Champions Rah and Halitosis vs. Jill Berg Enterprises: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks -PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: SEC’s Christa Carmondy vs. PCW Women’s Champion Yosemite Samantha vs. ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan -PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay of the Deplorables vs. PCW Champion ‘Anti-Hollywood’ Stone Chism vs. ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]

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