#roman empire shitposting

[seaforebaskets]

Roman Leaders as Scents:

Aurelian: vanilla ice cream and chocolate cookies

Probus: chocolate and space flavoured pop tart

Diocletian: orange mixed with daisy 

Maximian: rose with a hint of sea salt

Constantius Chlorus: honey, mint and scented beaver pop

Constantine: peppermint and pomegranate seeds 

Maxentius: cabbages and sweet Dahlia 

Constans: candy cane and sugar roads

Constantine II: apple with bananas 

Constantius II: star, sky and the clouds

Julian: old books with a tint of earthly delights

Valentinian: cucumber and cherries

Theodosius the Elder: melted steel with light strawberries 

Valens: burning fire with a hint of chicken

Valentinian II: maple syrup and artillery fire

Theodosius I: lime and caramel 

Honorius: black blood and black liquorice

Arcadius: lion pee and the clouds (for good measure)

Flavius Stilicho: blackberry and flower petals 

Flavius Aetius: the manly sweat combined with axe body spray, lavender, Chanel no.5 and jasmine (i what that smelled like)

Anastasius: rainbow pond made from strawberry, grape and bitter green tea 

Justin: Red ginseng and a dirt from mars (lol)

Justinian: lollipop with a slow aftertaste and purple magic

Theodora: margarita, summer farm and chilli peppers 

Justinian II: lion skin and tiger eyes alongside dried chilli peppers and cherries

Phocas: stinky cheese mixed with lettuce, tomato and mud sauce 

Heraclius: cinnamon, cactus flowers, leaves and actual celestial crystals 

John: diluted energy drinks and an annoyingly stubborn coffee and mocha scent

Basil I: high acid level rivers and the scent of the skies

Basil II: coconut, banana and pear

Alexios: charcoal burning in fire and a recently trimmed grass alongside some falling orange leaves alongside cinnamon and a champagne flavoured tea

John II: fresh milk with a hint of lemon pepper macaroon, sweet potato and pumpkin 

#random stuff #roman empire #magical trips to the rainbow skies and chocolate lands anyone? #Roman history #roman empire shitposting #Not really connected to their personalities but deviating from the interstate road as a bump car rider #Valentinian I #Valentinian the Great #Aetius’ one is so random #Making a magical potion alongside my spell book in order to resurrect these people from the dead

[lyrichi]

mc: where were you during 9/11

solomon: banging your mother

mc: no you weren't

solomon: how would you know? you weren't born before 9/11

mc: that's besides the point

#imagine going up to this scumbag and just asking #where were you when the Roman Empire fell? 🥺 #like #dawg idk #abyway #no I want born before 9/11 #😼 #alright fuckers #obey me crack #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me #obey me mc #obey me solomon #yeah

[kingethera]

this is my roman empire.

i think about this every day.

#dc universe #dc #batman #bruce wayne #fuck marry kill #superman #clark kent #my roman empire #kingethera #kind of a shitpost

[anobsessedchocolatechip]

no in all seriousness my roman empire is the fact that phantom of the opera actually closed on broadway. like some motherfucker actually did that 😭

#fuck cammack #phantom of the opera #poto #the phantom of the opera #imo it was literally the best show on broadway and now it’s gone #broadway #theater kid #theater kids #theater #musicals #musical theater #music #my roman empire #no bc wtf #erik phantom #christine daae #poto memes #poto shitpost

[bootleg-nessie]

My Roman Empire is the Garfield comic where Jon drinks dog semen

#r/196 #r/196archive #196 #/r/196 #rule #meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #garfield #roman empire

[roxannepolice]

The shitposting moment of inspiration actually gave me unique insight. The metaphor of watching Twitter news from Tumblr as watching the collapse of the Roman Empire from a Saharan oasis is too accurate. Like.

You live in your small community of people you well know and mostly get along with. You know of that moloch that has not so long ago been setting the blueprint of public debate and rule of law for centuries to come. Maybe you even traded with people under its rule. Recently, though, you mostly get news of its depostic ruler getting rid of all checking insititutions and advisors, enjoying setting things and people on fire and general economic collapse.

Make no mistake though, move too far away from your save little enclave and heat and dehydration will drive you mad or kill you or both in one order or another. Other tribes are as likely to trade with you as attack you via anon asks. Sometimes staff brings about unilveable sandstorms and draughts.

Neil Gaiman is the nomadic poet sage that everyone consults on everything from the meaning of life to cooking their meals. He's usually surrounded by the possy of five fenec foxes.

#shitposting kinda #twitter #watching twitter drama from tumblr feels like watching the collapse of roman empire from a saharan oasis #neil gaiman

[madame-helen]

#meme #memes #shitposting #shitpost #humor #funny humor #funny memes #funny #history memes #history #roman empire #mark antony #cleopatra #sarcasm #satire #irony #joke

[theidlespoon]

my roman empire is the "SORRY my prada is at the dry cleaners along with my hoodie and my fuck you flipflops you PRETENTIOUS douchebag" scene from the social network. if you even care.

#roman empire #the social network #andrew garfield #text post #textpost #shitpost #tumblr #humour #relatable #humor #lmao #funny #random thought #fandom #the amazing spiderman #spiderman #jesse eisenberg #if you even care

[strawbsonmars]

"you can't turn every post into a kishigo interaction" watch me.

#its not my fault if they are soulmates and fit everywhere #they truly are my roman empire #kishigo #kish #quiche #kisshu #ichigo momomiya #mew ichigo #tokyo mew mew #tmm #tokyo mew mew new #tmmn #meme #shitpost

[ladymirdan]

I am having a brain rot that Guilliman is just Eldrad Ulthwe’s rebound after Fulgrim.

*Eldrad gets visions from the Aeldari gods*

Gods: “You must go and warn the humans, they are about to do the same mistakes as we did. They are falling for the allure of chaos. This cannot happen.”

Eldrad: “who do I warn?”

Gods:” I dont fucking know, the blonde one with the roman inspired legion.”

Eldrad: “Check. Also, isnt it kind of funny how every civilisation have their Roman period?”

Gods: “I know right, I think there was a Star Trek episode about it.”

Eldrad: “yeah I saw that one. Also, the orks got so weird with their second one.”

Gods: “shit, dont remind us about that.”

Eldrad: “well, off I go.”

*a few moments later*

Eldrad, screaming: “that did not go according to plan!”

Gods: “what do you mean? You haven't even talked to him.”

Eldrad: “oh I did, it did not go well. He got a Slaaneshi sword and everything.”

Gods: “what? No he doesnt, he is literally over here doing nothing” *points to the Ultramar system*

Eldrad: “shit. I got the wrong brother. I didnt know there were two blonde romans... I’ll guess I’ll go again.... And also, can I borrow another Avatar of Khaine?”

Gods: “WHAT DID YOU DO?!?”

#40k #warhammer 40k #warhammer #ultramarines #horus heresy #aeldari #eldrad ulthwe #fulgrim #shitpost #roman empire #orks got weird with it #tiniest sideplot in fulgrim but my brain is screaming about it

[jackgoodfellow]

[image description under the cut]

Image Description:

An iteration on a popular meme format, edited to include figures from Roman history. The original version of the meme is a crudely drawn MS paint illustration of a sad looking dude standing in the corner of a party looking on as people dance and have a good time. The meme always includes the text "they don't know" over the man's head, showing his thoughts. And then when someone edits the meme, they add onto that phrase. In this iteration, the heads of the illustrated people have been replaced with cropped photos of heads from ancient Roman sculptures of famous people.

The man in the corner is now Augustus (Octavian) Caesar and he is labeled "Octavian about to absolutely wreck everyone's shit." The text above his head reads "They don't know I'm the scariest bitch in the Mediterranean." His eyes are glowing red.

At his feet lays the dead body of Julius Caesar, cropped from a painting and covered in crudely-added digital blood. A label pointing to the body reads, "Julius Caesar (super assassinated)".

The crowd of people that Octavian is looking at is labeled, "Lepidus Antony, Cassius, Brutus, Decimus, and half of Rome fighting for control," with arrows pointing to the respective images of those men. A separate label points to the man in the middle of the group and says "Cicero attempting to preserve the Republic".

Next to Octavian is small red text with hashtags that read "hashtag gonna go full Michael Corelone on these motherfuckers" and "hashtag Your Asses Delenda Est." (This is a play on "Karthago Delenda Est", which means "Carthage Must Be Destroyed" in Latin and was a very memorable political slogan in Roman history leading up to the utter destruction of the city of Carthage. This phrase was so memorable, in fact, that the English speech-to-text program I use recognized the phrase and spelled it correctly on my first attempt! Which is very unusual for a Latin phrase that has absolutely no modern-day uses!)

#original #meme #memes #roman history #augustus caesar #Julius Caesar #cicero #marc antony #brutus #gaius julius caesar #image description #historia civilis #overly sarcastic productions #shitposting #history shitposting #historical shitposting #history memes #ancient rome #roman empire #roman republic #it's Augustus time so I can use both of those tags back to back. because spoiler alert bye-bye Republic and HELLO EMPEROR AUGUSTUS #this kid was a goddamn teenager when Caesar died and I don't think anyone expected him to become king of the world #he killed antony. he killed cleopatra. he killed the republic. he killed a horrifying amount of civilians. he fought EVERYONE and he WON #ruthless. brilliant. terrifying. truly more cruel than he had to be and Extremely Good at propaganda. #i am both fascinated by him and relieved he is dead. #[Caesar voice] Ya know that's a real nice Republic ya got there. Sure would be a shame if somethin' were to uhh....... HAPPEN TO IT. #wait jack - i hear you say - is that a julius caesar or an augustus caesar voice? and to that i say.... yes. #i mean the republic probably would've died eventually anyway but MAN OH MAN DID THE CAESARS DELIVER SOME KILLSHOTS #IMAGINE U R WAR HERO POLITICIAN GENERAL MARC ANTONY AND THIS 17 YEAR OLD SHOWS UP AND THEN YOU PLUS EVERYONE YOU KNOW LOSE TO HIM SO SO BAD #he truly is sitting in the corner quietly waiting to tear open your jugular with his... well tbh he'd probably get agrippa to do it.

[lyrichi]

mc, posting on the devildom ver. of twitter: you guys I just took the biggest shit

some lower demon replying: ew tmi

asmo, also replying: kys mc is popping off

mc, reposting the thread: it hurt :(

belphie, replying to the repost: the comment or the shit?

#I think I'm so goddamn funny #posting instead of sleeping #fuck man #sassy mc is my roman empire #uhhhhh #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #wohooo

[earlgrey24]

The Octavianus Fragrance: for a price you can barely afford, you too can smell like sickness and desperation!

#octavian #augustus #agrippa approves tho #roman empire #roman emperors #roman history #ancient rome #tagamemnon #agrippa #history shitposting #history memes #bad jokes Sunday

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

jokes on you bitches im ALWAYS thinking about the Roman Empire

#oh wait #I study it #aw shit #thinking about the roman empire #humor #shitpost #lol #pls help #jokes #funny #help me god #roman #roman empire #ancient history #ancient #roman history #ancient rome #ancient culture

[gemsofgreece]

“Certain” foreigners: Modern Greeks pretend they are indistinguishable from Ancient Greeks and act like we owe to them for the marvels of the classical period

Meanwhile Greeks:

#btw this is A JOKE #not that there aren’t splinters of truth but anyway #Greece #funny #BYZANTIUM IS COMING BACK #why was Romas so damn prophetic in all his comedies #Byzantine empire #east Roman Empire #random #shitpost

[bootleg-nessie]

The James Webb Space Telescope is my Roman Empire

#r/196 #r/196archive #196 #/r/196 #rule #meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #autism #JWST #james webb space telescope #nasa #astronomy #space #roman empire