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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 1 year

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Red Hood Enterprises

Jeff: Okay, here’s the deal. Boss is unexpectedly unavailable tonight, so it’s up to us.

Assembled Red Hood Goons: *nodding*

Jeff: And we are NOT going to screw this up, right?

Goon: *more nodding*

Jeff: Good. Now, who has the posters?

Later

Mrs. Abarca, High School Physics Teacher: Can I help you, gentlemen?

Jeff: Hi, yes, we’re here for the career fair?

Mrs. Abarca: Do you have your confirmation forms?

Jeff: Oh, yeah, right here.

Mrs. Abarca, reading the form: “Red Hood Enterprises…”

Mr. Garber, High School History Teacher:

Ms. Patel, High School English Teacher:

Mrs. Abarca: *clears throat* May I see your display materials?

Dan: I gott’em. *holds up one of the posters*

Ms. Patel: Those look… very lovely.

Dan, beaming: Thank you, ma’am.

Mr. Garber, reading a flyer he just got handed by one of Red Hood’s…employees: “How to read and understand a benefits package…”

Jeff, nodding: It’s important sh- … uh, stuff to know when looking for a job.

Victor: Yeah, otherwise you might end up with some kind of fu- … er, lame insurance coverage or something.

Ms. Patel: Insurance coverage…

Aiden: Yeah, like my first job? Total shi……… really lousy. Benefits. Pretty bad. Didn’t even have dental.

Ms. Patel, reading over the flyer: These are actually all really good points…

Mrs. Abarca: Well. Why don’t you boys just go on in and get your things set up.

Jeff: Thank you!

*a dozen or so red hood goons head towards the gym*

Ms. Patel: Do you think this is okay?

Mr. Garber: Do you think he’s hiring?

Mrs. Arbaca: Was that Aiden Sergeant?

Mr. Garber: Huh, I think it was.

Ms. Patel: Who?

Mrs. Arbaca: Oh, he would have been here before you started teaching.

Mr. Garber: What, six years ago or so?

Mrs. Arbaca: Hmm. Yes. Nice kid. Very good at math.

Ms. Patel: Huh.

Later, at the manor

Duke: Okay, you would not BELIEVE who I saw at the career fair.

Steph: What? Who?

Duke: Jeff.

Steph: Wait, like-

Duke: Yeah. THAT Jeff.

Steph: Wow.

Duke: Right?

Steph: What was he there for? Demolitions?

Duke, shaking his head: HR representative.

Steph: Huh.

Duke: For Red Hood.

Steph:

Steph: Huh.

#what do you mean dc doesn’t stand for disregard canon #goon named jeff #goon named jeff my beloved #goon named Dan #goon named victor #goon named aiden #red hood and his adopted goons #best boss red hood #best boss jason todd #red hood #jason todd #red hood enterprises #duke thomas #stephanie brown

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cerddom · 1 year

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Red Hood's gang doesn't fight other gangs, he just headhunts them (in the recruitment sense, not the duffel bag sense). Any time his goons are squared up against another gang, Jason just shines a projector on a nearby building and queues up a Powerpoint presentation on Red Hood Enterprises' benefits package.

By the time it gets to automatic paternity leave and free Karaoke Friday, the whole of the opposing force is filling out applications, squabbling over pencils, and asking each other how to spell 'lieutenant'.

As Jason likes to say, "Don't beat 'em, hire them".

#cerddom #fandom #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Red Hood Enterprises #Mob Boss of the Year

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evaningotham · 1 month

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i need the batfam fandom to give damian the same energy we give tom hollands peter parker in fics like

i want Field Trip to Wayne Enterprises fics

fics where damian gets phone calls from his famous siblings in class

fics where damian has to deal with the other kids watching thirst traps of his older siblings

fics where he’s getting bullies and one of them shows up in full vigilante attire to scare the middle school bully

just

damian al ghul wayne fanfic that centers around his school life and protective family

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strawberry-forest-does-stuff · 5 months

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#jason todd #batfam #dc comics #batfam incorrect quotes #batfamily #batfam twitter #batman #dc #red hood #robin jason #bruce wayne #wayne enterprises #jason todd is a socialist and you can fight me over that

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tofuingho · 1 year

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A soulmate AU where you have the last words your soulmate will say to you before they die as a soulmark would be very interesting with the Danny Phantom fandom.

Would the soulmark change after the portal accident, but then stay the same until Danny's final death? Or would the mark change every time he transforms because he's technically dead in his ghost form? Does the mark change color or fade when he's in his ghost form? Or does it stay the same?

What if his soulmate met him once when they were kids? They just bumped into each other. Maybe the words are generic, but maybe they're not. Maybe his soulmate has to grow up knowing that they'll never meet again. And then after Danny's accident, their soulmark changes. Do they assume that Danny was revived and they'll meet again someday? Or do they assume that their mark is for a new person?

What if the soulmark words are super generic? Everyday Danny and his soulmate meet. Everyday their mark changes. But, they can't figure out who the other is because their marks are basic greetings or apologies.

Maybe Danny's soulmark stays the same while his soulmate's keeps changing.

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thenewtitans60page22 · 2 years

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Jason doing his best to piss Bruce off at every turn and Bruce still appointing him as favorite child is my favorite dynamic

#Jason: I’m going to spray paint a dick on the Wayne Enterprises building #Bruce at the exact same moment: I wonder if Jason will come to dinner if we have all his favorites #bruce wayne #jason todd #batman #batfam #dcu #dc comics #red hood #batfamily

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aaliyahtheawkward · 2 years

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Okay, but does everyone just forget the part of Jason's original revenge plot where he literally stole Wayne Enterprises right out from under Bruce via hostile takeover, or...?

#this is a thing that happened #im positive #i vividly remember reading this #im not crazy i swear #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #wayne enterprises #hostile takeover #girlboss jason #who could've ruined bruce's whole life if only he wasn't such a daddy's boy #like the batfam should be so fucking grateful that he still cared about bruce #they were literally saved by his daddy issues #lmao

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yeyq · 2 years

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Bruce: Jason... did you just- snatched everybody's stuff and put it out for sale? Jason: I would never do that Bruce. Also Jason:

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batcavescolony · 2 years

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THE CEO OF WAYNE ENTERPRISES IS LUCIUS FOX!

And because some of you don't seem to get it so ill say it again

LUCIUS FOX IS CEO OF WAYNE ENTERPRISES

Bruce Wayne is a figure head and controlling share holder, so in Red Robin when Tim Drake took over Bruce Wayne's position he took over CONTROLLING SHARE HOLDER.

(Red Robin #12)

So just to make sure you got it, Riddle me this Batman?

Who is the CEO of Wayne Enterprises?

#comics #dc comics #tim drake #robin #batman #red robin #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #nightwing #damian wayne #lucius fox #wayne enterprises #Bruce Wayne trusts Lucius Fox with his company and the Fox family is very important to the batfamily #like give me more fandom remembering Lucius is CEO or that the Foxes exist. like just mention them #'ah i have a meeting with Lucius today'#'im going to tea woth Mr Fox at 9'#whatever blah blah blah #batfam #also lets face it Lucius has known Bruce is Batman hes just having some deniability in case shit happens #cassandera cain #black bat #batgirl #alfred pennyworth #like mr 'my contingency plans have contingency plans' trusts him #i love Tim but he was NEVER CEO and he never said he was CEO. CEO has ALWAYS been Lucius Fox #Bruce is also the owner but like i assume you'd get that since his name is literally on the building #put some respect on Lucius Fox's name #batcavescolony reads comics

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mottemort · 2 years

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Jason Todd Hoodies

#jason todd #red hood #arkham knight #jason todd edit #fan edit #batfamily #wayne family adventures #batfam #wfa #batman wayne family adventures #red hood and the outlaws #rhato #scars #batman #dc #wayne enterprises

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blanddcheadcanons · 2 years

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There is a universe in the multiverse not too unlike the Batman saves Robin ending to Batman a death in the family, the divergence being Dick stepped up to help Jason work through the traumas being Batman to Jason’s Robin, and instead of trying to resurrect Bruce with a Lazarus pit, Talia moved into Wayne manor because someone had to make sure those two boys not only assisting Alfred in making them eat right and do school work in Jason’s case and Wayne Enterprise work in Dick’s, but to make sure they were safe during their nightlife as well.

#multiverse #hypertime #batman #bruce wayne #robin #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #lazarus pit #talia al ghul #wayne manor #alfred pennyworth #wayne enterprises

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catpriciousmarjara · 7 months

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Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

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sistertotheknowitall · 2 months

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Danny is Some Guy with a not so secret admirer.

Part four? Post #four? I don’t know, none of these are exactly in order. Post one, post two, post three.

——

By the time Tim opened the door, Danny had his coffee made and handed to Mia at the register. He resolutely ignored her smug face and went back to making the other orders.

Tim had been a regular long before Danny had started at the coffee shop but it was three days into Danny’s third week when Tim had stumbled in at eight a.m. and did a double take upon seeing Danny. A very obvious double take followed by intense staring before Mia had cleared her throat. The blush that lit up Tim’s face was only rivaled by the one on Danny’s.

He had never had anyone openly stare at him before.

Mia had been insufferable ever since.

It also didn’t help that shortly after their first meeting Tim had started taking his breaks at the little coffee shop. It’s been three weeks, nearly a month and Wayne Enterprise’s CEO went from a bi-weekly regular to an everyday one. (Danny wondered if he should be concerned for the man’s caffeine intake but he only had the one cup every time so probably not.)

Originally, Danny had no plans to talk to Tim. It seemed obvious the guy had a crush on Danny if the constant looks over his laptop were anything to go by and Danny didn’t want to encourage it. Danny barely had time to make new friends let alone start a relationship.

There was also the added problem of what was quickly becoming his bat stalkers. How do you explain to someone that you were being watched by Gotham’s vigilante’s for no reason? (Or worse because he had made a poorly timed sleep-deprived comment.) Danny didn’t think you could without seeming suspicious.

Incidentally though, Danny’s plan went out the window when on a slow afternoon as he was cleaning tables and passed behind Tim. Once he saw the article the other man was reading he snorted.

Bruce Wayne and The Batman? Could This Be A New Romance For Gothams Most Beloved Billionaire?

It was one of those gossip rags that printed things like: Elvis: alive and well and Superman: a mild mannered farm boy? It was all nonsense.

Danny asked Tim why he bothered with the site and Tim responded that he found it amusing to read and that his family had a group chat where they sent the articles to each other.

“Okay. But Batman? Really? Your dad could do so much better.”

“You don’t like Batman?” Tim asked. Danny had slid into the chair next to him and shrugged. “I respect what he does but for as intimidating as he is, he also seems a little silly.”

Tim had given him an incredulous look and Danny hadn’t given him time to ask for an explanation, “and his kids can be just as rude. Like that flying monkey one.” Tim choked on air and Danny politely waited for him to calm down. “Kids? Wait - flying monkey one? Which one -?”

“The one always doing back flips with the blue bird symbol. He’s also a dick that gives hypocritical lectures about fighting.” Danny wouldn’t say he hated the guy but he wasn’t sure how many more lectures he could endure before going ghost and fighting him.

Tim had turned to Danny completely and was watching him with a look of disbelief, “you mean Nightwing?”

“Is that his name? Imma call him Dickwing.”

Tim had started choking again, this time Danny patted his back hoping to help. Yet it was all for not once he kept talking, “I think I’ve only had positive interactions with the one who looks like a walking red flag.”

“Red flag? Do you men hood-?”

“No, although he is definitely a red flag, I mean the other Red one. I’m sorry, I don’t know all these peoples names yet.”

“Danny!” Mia called.

Danny stood and patted Tim, who looked a little shell-shocked, on the shoulder. “Well work calls, see you later Mr. Drake-Wayne.” As he walked away he heard Tim mutter “it’s just Tim.”

(Tim for his part, placed his head in his hands and thought, well at least I have his name now.)

After that first interaction Tim stopped playing the lurker and started to actually talk to Danny and vise versa. Danny never asked if he still had a crush on him, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Unfortunately, their growing friendship had only encoraged Mia as she happily sang “your boyfriend’s here!”

Danny, very maturely, did not stick his tongue out at her. He did however flip her off under the counter like an adult.

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nerdpoe · 7 months

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Jason feels bad for his new neighbor-the dude has no idea his spouses are criminals.

Daniel Manson-Foley is a perfectly ordinary guy.

He works at Wayne Enterprises in the R&D Department, goes out to the movies with his husband and wife every Saturday, can't cook but still tries, is stupidly in love with his husband and wife, and has zero ability to sense when he's in danger.

Seriously, Red Hood has had to save his ass so much it's become 'known' in Crime Alley that "Daniel Manson-Foley's spouses hired Red Hood to be a bodyguard".

Samantha Manson-Foley has no registered job, but she usually comes home covered in blood splatter with weapons hidden just under her coat.

Tucker Manson-Foley does freelance coding work, and Oracle has confirmed that he's virtually following his wife to wherever she goes and erasing all trace of her.

So Jason's pretty sure they're a hitman-couple; Tucker is the fixer and Samantha carries out the hits.

Damn does he feel bad for Daniel.

Or; Tucker is a freelance coder who writes some of the best security in the world, Sam is a heavily armed under the table Mortuary Cosmotologist who is in heavy demand, and Danny decided to have a legal paper trail so that if the GIW or his parents make him go missing it'll be easier for authorities to realize something is wrong. The resident vigilantes horribly misunderstand the nature of their lives.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #blood mention #corpse mention

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witchoflegends · 1 year

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@desmuerte sent: “You have a lot of bite for someone so small.” (for rose??? )

“Well, not everyone can just wait for some bat to come swooping in to save the day.” Rose made sure to check her surroundings one more time before turning on the safety of her gun and returning it to her bag. It was nights like these she regretted returning to the city. “And just because I’m not a body builder, doesn’t mean I’m small. I’m 5′7″ for crying out loud.”

#desmuerte #wayne enterprises secretary: rosemary whittle #/i left it open to whether you #/wanted it to be jason or red hood #/that she's dealing with

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batfamhyperfixation · 1 year

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Batkid Groupchat

Dick: someone save me pls

Jason: What's wrong?

Dick: Gala at Wayne Manor

Dick: This guy won't stop talking to me

Jason: lol sucks to suck

Damian: Sorry Richard, I cannot attend to the situation. That would give up my hiding spot.

Damian: I meant vantage point.

Damian: If any of you tell Bruce, I will murder you.

Cass: Damian, look up

*sends photo of Damian in the rafters of Wayne Manor*

Damian: Ah, great minds think alike I see.

Tim: hold up Dick, I wanna get out of this conversation too, I'll be over in a sec

Steph: Can't relate

Steph: This is why you don't let the first billionaire who offers adopt you

Steph: then you gotta go to the stuffy parties

Steph: Duke and I are the only smart ones

Duke: Agreed, have fun at the party

Later at the Gala

*Red Hood and the Outlaws come busting through the door*

Red Hood: This is a hostage situation

Red Hood: We want Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, and Damian Wayne.

Bruce, also desperately wanting to get out: Aren't you forgetting someone

Red Hood: Oh, right, Alfred Pennyworth

Bruce: aren't you forgetting someone else?

Red Hood: No

Bruce: Ja- Red Hood. Aren't you going to take me!

Red Hood: what would I need you for? I already have CEO of Wayne enterprises *ruffles Tim's hair, about to get fought by Tim* (under his breath: you fight back, I'm leaving you behind), a police officer, biological son of a billionaire, cool af dancer Cassandra Cain, and Alfred the Almighty

Bruce: don't you want a billionaire too?

Red Hood: If I take you, who is going to pay the ransom?

*Taking the Batkids and Alfred out of the gala as Bruce pouts*

Jason: one of you swipped Bruce's credit card before we left, right?

Tim: of course, we aren't amateurs

Jason: then ice cream on Bruce!

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