sistertotheknowitall

[sistertotheknowitall]

Hear me out… in a universe where Bruce, Clark, and Lois are polyamorous, but no one knows…Bruce and Lois get caught making out by a paparazzi and the tabloids have a field day.

The JL is like “Batman wtf that’s Superman’s wife!”

Bruce’s PR team is urging him to release a statement saying that it was just close friends in a moment of passion and had no meaning.

Perry is pressing Clark to come out and say something about the situation.

The next day the tabloids are full of pictures of Bruce and Clark making out and now everyone’s confused.

Everything blows over with Bruce’s “reputation” intact as the most seductive celebrity.

Perry just doesn’t want to deal with it anymore and doesn’t want to know why his two best reporters are lip-locking with a billionaire.

JL just collectively sighs.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

[sistertotheknowitall]

jason: seriously grave robber —

tim: memorial case.

jason: i - hm?

tim: i robbed your memorial case, not your grave silly, you weren’t even in your grave for me to rob it!

jason: wait… did you check??

[sistertotheknowitall]

Officer Grayson: *arrests Jason for whatever, probably annoying him on the job.* *He leads him away in handcuffs*

Jason: wait. Is that Tim?

Dick: omg it's Timmy!

Tim, on a date with Bernard:

Bernard: ... Why are that cop and the guy he arrested banging on the window and waving at us?

Tim: *dead inside*

[sistertotheknowitall]

[sistertotheknowitall]

Family tradition 🥰🥰🥰

Inspired by:

[sistertotheknowitall]

If I had a nickel for every time I drew Tim insisting that Jason is a good person I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s sad that it’s happened twice.

anyways have some de-aged Tim angst

[sistertotheknowitall]

Do you guys think that people give Duke discounts and free stuff yk?

Like he works the day shift so obviously he interacts more with civilians than any of the other bats, and because of a) the fact they see him more often and out in the daylight, not just shrouded in mystery and shadows, and b) just how he is as a person, they really really like him

So like this is a thing i can imagine happening

7:39 am, on a Saturday

The begal stand guy: Hey Signal!!

Duke: What’s up Mr. Spence?

Mr. Spence: Well I had an extra begal sandwich this morning and was wondering if you wanted it?

Duke, being reminded of the good in humanity with tears in his eyes (he forgot to get breakfast before he left): Thank you so much

And obviously Gotham doesnt have the nicest people, so people dont reach out like that a lot, but when they do it absolutely makes Dukes day

[sistertotheknowitall]

When they say Dick Grayson family move was the Quadruple flip they mean this trick:

(Video from Cirque du Soleil's instagram)

[sistertotheknowitall]

finally, it's completely canon

gifs by @alexisrosemullens

[sistertotheknowitall]

TIL that RPF stood for Real People Fiction and not Roll Play Fantasy but I avoid both anyway so it worked out.

#I think assumed but it was for the best #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3

[sistertotheknowitall]

I need a full story stat!

Imagine if the GIW started gunning for Jason without the Batfam ever meeting Phantom. Like, Bruce has to figure out on his own that the guys in white suits with Lazarus guns are 1. a legitimate government agency, and 2. are perfectly within their rights to hunt Jason like an animal, because 3. there's secret government legislation that says that since Jason's body processes ectaplasm, he's classified as non-sapient and has no legal protections.

Bruce calling up Clark like

Bruce: I am currently in the process of breaking into a government facility in order to dismantle their operations.

Clark: Okay? Do you need... help?

Bruce: Yes.

Clark: Sure, I'll be right there.

Bruce: Not that kind of help. Oracle is sending you the files now. I'd like you and Ms. Lane to make these people wish they were never born.

Clark: [speed-reading the documents] Oh yeah, can do. This is truly disgusting. If the public is half as outraged as I am, we'll get this sorted as fast as the courts can manage.

So Clark Kent acts as a whistle-blower, the Justice League publicly condems the Anti-Ecto Acts as inhumane, the GIW is disbanded, and Batman gets pardoned for all of those crimes that he technically did by assaulting federal agents. And after all that gets sorted, some white haired kid pops up in the Watchtower like "haha thanks for that I really didn't want a war between Earth and the Infinite Realms" and the League are like "wait what"

[sistertotheknowitall]

Jason: see Dickie has everyone fooled that he’s Sodapop but I’m telling you how. He’s Darry. Nothing going on behind those eyes but violence.

Tim: what language are you speaking right now.

Jason: are you telling me none of you have read American classic ‘The Outsiders’ by Hinton? A story of class warfare and the perpetual cycle of violence and poverty caused by being in the American working class?

Steph: what can you expect from Socs?

#10/10 no notes #best use of literary knowledge #i love it #the outsiders #jason todd #stephanie brown #tim drake #batman #red hood #red robin #robin #batfamily #batfam

[sistertotheknowitall]

(everybody is okay)

[sistertotheknowitall]

Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).

[sistertotheknowitall]

[sistertotheknowitall]

A really random Batfamily HC I like to think about is Dick winning the Olympics a few years ago, never telling anyone, and all hell breaking loose when they find out.

Jason: You did not win gold in the Olympics.... Say sike, right now.

Dick: I'm not saying sike. I did win.

Tim: How? You're too famous, you'd be recognized!

Bruce: And more importantly, what about your secret identity?!

Dick: I wore a prosthetic nose, and entered under a fake name.

Stephanie: Do you have proof of that? And maybe a picture of that nose by any chance?

Dick: It was broadcast on television in over two hundred countries, I'm sure you could find it pretty easy.

Bruce: Back to the fake name-

Dick: It wasn't hard to make an alias, I just did what we do for undercover jobs.

Tim: You used my program without telling me!

Dick: I asked! You said I could.

Tim: I did? Ohhh...yeah, now that you mention it I think I vaguely remember you saying something about going to England and needing a new ID a few years ago.

Jason: You did all of that, just to...perform? Just...just because you wanted to?

Dick: ...Yeah, pretty much. I still have the medal sitting on a shelf in my apartment and a picture of me with some other competitors hanging on the wall.

Alfred: I for one, appreciated finally getting to see the Olympics from the front row. And in my own country, no less.

Bruce: What- what does that mean? Tell me you did not go with him to the Olympics...

Alfred: I was his accompaniment for the event. It was quite a good time.

Bruce: Dick...

Dick: What? He said he always wanted to go!