#really i should be the change i wish to see and write ungodly piles of karlach meta | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-fallen-blue · 3 months

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I know I just finished saying I like this fandom, but. We definitely still have our full quota of subtle fandom misogyny.

For example, the internet's two ~favorite~ characters are Astarion and Karlach, supposedly. But start a conversation about Astarion, and get six thousand pages of gushing essays about his trauma and his perspective and the subtle contradictions in his behavior and a universal acknowledgement that the way he sees the world is warped by his experiences and his perspective and what that means for him and endless pondering about what sex means for him and what violence means for him and when his decisions are right and when they're irrational and how he'd react to things and what he really means when he says or does this and and and and and....

Start a conversation about Karlach, who has every single bit of that complexity, and the best you'll get is "Muscle Mommy Hot 🥵💦" and the worst you'll get is "I've somehow taken every single word Karlach says in this game completely at face value and yet I confidently believe that you're the one who is wrong about her for thinking she has a shred of development or depth."

The default majority take on Karlach, in this game where she is the only ace-friendly romance option, is that she's the horniest character on the team. The default majority take on Karlach, in this game that is about trauma, and helping your companions not do stupid things because of the warped perspectives left by their trauma, is that when she says she'd rather die than go back to Avernus that's a simple, rational, informed, healthy judgement that should not be questioned. The default majority take on Karlach, in this game about murderers saving the world, is that she's a cinnamon roll who's never done anything wrong. The default majority take is that Karlach's entire character begins and ends with the things that she says to your face.

And then that same majority will turn around and write fifteen hundred words about how Astarion's fear is driving his desperation about Ascension at the drop of a hat, and not even notice the discrepancy.

And you know what? I do genuinely believe that people like Karlach. We've come a long way from the days of ATG fantasy where every single female character was a bitch or a harpy or a Mary Sue or a boring doormat getting in the way of the sexy white boys we were actually here for. We can be enthusiastic about them and say nice things and genuinely enjoy having them around. We can actually like them! It's just that "liking" a female character and "liking" a male character are still. Apparently. Very different things.

#really i should be the change i wish to see and write ungodly piles of karlach meta #but again no one actually cares because if they did they'd have been doing it themselves already #so why shout into the void #when we can all just decide she's a big honest tragic perfect golden retriever whose only purpose in fandom #is being Nice in the background of the actual interesting character work instead #i'm gonna regret posting this tomorrow aren't i

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ddaehyeon · 4 years

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– ♡; UNGODLY HOUR ; PARK SERIM

pairing: park serim + reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.7k

summary: an unexpected midnight call caused by the thoughts that clouded serim’s mind.

if all the equations written on your notes were a sea, you’d probably be already drowning in it. the library was silent, only the flipping of the pages mingled with the sound of the pen running by the paper was heard. soft music was enclosed in your ears through the earphones, preventing you from dozing off.

with narrowed eyes, you stared at your homework for a moment. a sigh of defeat leaving your lips right after. staring won’t solve an equation. but you wish it could. you desperately wish it could.

the chair beside you was pulled, a student occupying it right after. he placed his own books on the table and when your eyes met, he gave you a wave. you unplugged the earphones from your ears, a brow raised to the male. “oh, serim? you’ll be studying?”

a soft chuckle was heard from serim which made a smile linger on his countenance as he spoke. “yes, i’ve decided to become a better student.”

“ah, i see. hope you’ll not change your decision after two minutes,” you remarked, returning your focus to your notes as if you were not spacing out earlier before serim arrived.

“thank you so much for the encouragement,” serim said, matching the mockery you provided in your words. “i’ll work hard.”

instead of giving a verbal response, a beam came to your lips. he should be used by now with all the remarks you throw him.

a close friend—it was the title serim had been embracing for the past years. with the two of you meeting on the first day of classes during your freshman year. it went on and on for the next years and now that both of you were in your junior year, close to being inseparable. nearly all classes you enlisted covered the same time slots on his own schedule, making him your classmate for almost all the subjects aside from economics.

another male came to your sight, snapping you out of your thoughts. he pulled the chair adjacent to yours, a small smile visible on his brim. “you’re y/n, right?”

your nod was his cue to take the seat in front of you, his own books settled in front of your messily piled things.

“allen ma, a junior as well. you signed up for integral calculus tutoring sessions, right? i’ll be your tutor.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ☆

as soon as the classes ended, you closed your notebook. everyone else was shuffling out of the room. you took your time to stare at the whiteboard which was filled with lines and symbols written by your professor. pressing your eyes closed, you leaned back to your chair. a mental note of which should be done this evening was made.

“planning to sleep here?” serim asked, placing his things back to his bag before swinging it to his shoulder.

letting go of a sigh, you opened your eyes to look at him. huffing, you eventually stood to arrange your things. “this is not a desirable location to sleep. i'd rather go back to my dorm than sleep here.”

as you were talking the next lecturer entered the room, serim gave the professor a bow which was a gesture that you followed. getting your bag to your shoulder, you nodded your head to the direction of the door. both of you must leave before the next block comes inside for their class.

faint streaks coming from the setting sun came to touch your skin. the hallway was close to being empty, only a few students were around either rushing to go to their next class or leisurely making their way out of the building.

serim and you walked in silence, both drained from the lessons today schedule had brought. the semester was barely halfway the calendar and each passing day, the topics taught were getting harder and harder.

“there’s a new café a few blocks away from the main gate, want to check it?” serim attempted to start a conversation.

nibbling your bottom lip, you tried to make a quick mental browse of the things you have to do. then it hit you. “ah, i need to meet allen.” you pulled your phone out of your pocket to check the time. there was a tutoring session scheduled after the class. with the abysmal grades, you were getting on the past activities, this could be your only redemption. “tutoring sessions.”

a pout w became visible on the lips of your friend, displeased of your answer. “even a quick drop won’t do?”

“i'm afraid i can’t. the tutoring session will start in roughly 15 minutes.” you gave the other an apologetic smile which caused him to drop his shoulders. it was no use of persuading you over this matter anyway. he can ask you to check it with him in other days. “guess i have to go now? have a good evening serim.”

“you too, y/n.”

all serim could do was wave at you as you began to walk your way to the library where the tutoring session would occur.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ☆

“serim, what did he just said?” poking the other with a pen, you tried to catch his attention. the lecture was going rather too fast for your likings; your notebook page which was supposed to be filled with the terminologies had blank spaces in between.

“i don’t know.” serim answered.

earlier this day, he’d been acting a little off. he could have that child-like streak on him where he would just cling to you and be sulky whenever he gets less attention, it was acceptable. the same way he got used to the remarks you’d throw, you also got used to serim’s natural clinginess. but today sure be a different one. the morning greeting he gave was a swift one, holding no actual enthusiasm. and every time you’d ask him what his problem is, he would wave you off.

“let me see your notes then.” quite demanding, you scooted closer to him, your hand reaching for his notebook to check what was written there. it was the only way left for you to get the missed parts from the dictation.

serim snickered at your actions, dragging the notebook away from you as he tried so hard to focus on jotting down the words that endlessly flow out of your professor’s lips. “go ask your tutor about it.”

“go and eat cheeseballs later, your mood is quite unbelievable.” rolling your eyes, you moved away from him. a minimum effort exerted to write the words you could catch up on. every now and then, you would look at the male with a sharp gaze.

maybe serim woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ☆

it was already midnight, that was the only thing you were sure of.

you were not even deep in your sleep when the vibrations coming from your phone which was lazily placed under the comforts of your pillow woke you up.

"so give me a valid explanation as to why you're calling me at an ungodly hour of..." you paused for a moment, trying to catch a glimpse of the time at the wall clock which was barely illuminated. giving up, you looked at your phone instead. the caller's name displayed on the screen, the duration of call running. "... an ungodly hour of 2am." you placed your phone back to your ears. "oh god, serim if this-"

"i have something to tell you." the seriousness laced in his tone made your stomach flip, nervousness came rushing to your body.

"ooooh~" a chuckle was heard from you. it was an attempt to brighten up the mood of the other. "romantic. are you about to profess your undying love for me?"

“yes, i am.”

it was the small thinking that ended up to massive thoughts that hindered him to come to a peaceful evening. branching out each of the sensations he felt when you ended up not giving him much time as you would usually do, serim began asking why. why was he so upset when he usually won’t get upset with it? when you spend your time with your other circles, he was always okay with it. when you decline to go out with him for a detour whenever your classes end, he was alright with it. but with another person placed in the picture, he found himself succumbing to a certain frustration—something that wants to get more of your attention.

“wait, what?” it was the only reply you managed to utter. his words awakening your senses. seriously?

a soft frustrated growl was heard from the other line—more like a whine serim would do whenever he’s embarrassed by something. “sorry for the way i acted today… i was just so lost in my thoughts.” even he wasn’t in front of you, you could already see the regretful pout decorating his lips. “acting with feelings rather than thinking… i'm really sorry, y/n.” a short pause was done by the other, giving him a moment to collect his thoughts and come up with proper words. “i can’t sleep and maybe this is because i dived in the sea of my thoughts, but i can’t find any other reason to explain why i got upset of you declining and spending less time with me. do you like your tutor?”

the question pulled a peal of laughter from your lips. silly how he thought you’d end up having such fondness for a guy you barely interact with.

“come on, it’s taking too much courage for me to word this out.” another whine was heard from him. “don’t laugh at me!”

“sorry, sorry. it’s just i was surprised by your question,” you replied, in between faint chuckles. you breathed in, trying to stop yourself from laughing. “well, i don’t. please, i just met him.”

serim sighed in relief. “that’s all i need to know. now, i can sleep,” he uttered, his tone merrier.

“i thought you’re going to conf—”

once again, he interrupted you. his words probably will be the one leaving you awake for the next few hours. “i like you, y/n.”

- - - - - - - - - - ☆ masterlist ☆ request ☆

#cravity #serim #cravity imagines #serim imagines #cravity drabbles #serim drabbles #cravity scenarios #serim scenarios #cravity fluff #serim fluff #cravity oneshots #serim oneshots #cravity serim #park serim #request

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akaspiderman · 5 years

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strong

pairing: peter parker x avenger!female!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: nightmares, mentions of death

plot: Peter can never find peace without (y/n) by his side.

A/N: This is for @h-osterfield and @harryrholland one direction writing challenge! It’s inspired by the song strong by 1D :)

Peter shoots up, sweat pooling around him. His heart throbs while he gasps for air. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t face it. They were never this often before, the nightmares that plagued his head while he slept. But they keep coming and lately they’ve been more vivid and he could picture everything down to the exact detail. He could see how everything crashed and crumbled down during the fight. How it happened all so fast and it overwhelmed every single bone in his body. How he ran towards the girl but he wasn’t fast enough. Her scream echoing through his head that turns into everyone crying for help. He wasn’t able to save everyone. What was the point of being an Avenger if he couldn’t save everyone? Every move he makes stabs his heart. He should have done better.

He has to get out of this room. The room suffocated him in his thoughts and he knows they would eat him alive. He almost lets them, but he has to push forward. It was so draining, pretending that he didn’t hear voices in his head whenever he’s alone. He never could face the voices alone.

When he takes a step, his body feels a thousand times heavier than it should be. Tony warned him about becoming a full-time Avenger, but he’s never said anything about the self-blame he would endure. He failed to mention the way every wrong move he makes will torment him.

(y/n) hears a door opening across the hall and she knows it was Peter. He’s been crawling into her bed a few times these past weeks just to be by someone. She started a habit where she would force herself awake to make sure he’ll be okay and she would only rest when he does. She launches out of her bed, swinging the door open to meet Peter halfway down the hall. His hair was sticking up and his eyes were bloodshot. She holds her arms open and Peter collapses into them.

He lets her support his weight, grateful for the way she lets him be weak. When he was around everyone else, they always tell him it was okay and how he couldn’t change it. They were right, but it wasn’t what he needed. (y/n) lets him cry about it and never tells him to let it go. In a strange way, it helps him more.

“Nightmares,” Peter whispers. He squeezes her to make sure she was still there. He wasn’t dreaming anymore.

(y/n) runs her hands through his hair, closing her eyes. Her heart aches for him, how he keeps beating himself up over and over. He can’t even catch a break in his sleep, the guilt haunting his every move. She wishes that it would just blow over, but Peter dosen’t need to hear that. He needs support. “Do you feel like sleeping?”

“No.”

(y/n) detangles herself from Peter, but her hand finds its way into his. The warmth of her hand reminds him that he was awake and how there were still good things in life. Life wasn’t just death and failure. It was holding her hand and spending time with her.

“The sky is really clear tonight,” (y/n) says.

Peters nods his head and (y/n) is leading him back into her room. He was hit with the aroma of her, the fresh sweetness that she wears everyday. She hands him a pillow while her one arm was overflowing with blankets.

They don’t say much as they make the trek over to the balcony. There were so many unspoken words between them though. She squeezes his hand to make sure he’s still with her and Peter rubs his thumb in circles on her hand to tell her about his anxious thoughts. He sends her a small look of uneasiness and she slows down to walk directly next to him. He brings her hand up to his lips to thank her, causing (y/n) to glow.

A light breeze greets them as they unlock the door accompanied with chirping of crickets and a light buzz of the building. Peter sits down on the patio furniture as (y/n) takes a seat next to him. She throws the blanket around them, providing a small shield to the wind. Her head finds its way to his chest as she looks up at the night sky illuminated by bright starlight.

“Big Dipper,” (y/n) says breaking the silence. She uses her free hand to point up at the sky, but Peter isn’t looking.

Instead he’s looking at the girl he’s holding, the one who stayed up at this ungodly hour to make sure he would be alright. It was mind blowing that he even found her. There was no way they would have met if it weren’t for the fact that he joined the Avengers. It was a relief to (y/n) to have someone her age working with her. Naturally, they’re drawn to each other. It was painfully awkward at first, but they warmed up to one another. Once the ice started to thaw, it completely disappeared. They were amazingly close, understanding each other more and more.

His heart beats faster thinking about it. He needs her here. If she wasn’t here, he wouldn’t survive without her picking him back up. (y/n) was the only one who could ease him back to sleep and calm him down. She kept him grounded from the chaos that was his life. Peter likes the little things too, the movie dates and their mini bake offs. It was a break from reality and they could act like that they were normal. She was the air to his lungs.

“I need you,” Peter whispers, his breath hitching.

(y/n) turns her attention back to Peter, their undefined relationship hanging in her head. She wasn’t sure what they were. Logically, they were dating due to the shy kisses and rocking one another to sleep. But they’ve never really called it that and they always avoid that topic. Whatever happens, happens. This was new to both of them, it was the most verbal confirmation they got for their relationship.

“I’m sor-,” Peter starts, “Wait, I’m not. I need you.” His heart stops beating at his confession.

(y/n) kisses his cheek, closing her eyes. Her eyelashes tickle his face as she lowers her head into the crook of his neck. She rests her head there, not sure of what to say to him. (y/n) thought about them a lot, but something was holding her back. She was scared she would say something and ruin it all, pushing Peter away. She couldn’t afford to lose him. Peter helps her act her age. She dosen’t have to be mature and act like that saving the world was her only priority. With Peter, she was just her.

Peter closes his eyes, wishing for something to say. That was a lie, there were so many things to say. He wants to tell her how he needs her and how she makes his days brighter. He likes the way she talks and her tragic dancing. He adores their inside jokes between them and their obscure pop culture references that went over everyone's head. He wishes he could tell her she was everything to him in this moment and many more before this. He could confess, it would be easy. The words would fall out of his lips without an end, but that was terrifying. It was almost as terrifying as his night terrors. His night terrors.

He almost forgot what brought the pair out on the balcony, he was so caught up in (y/n). That’s what he loved about being with her, the simplicity of it all. That’s why he always woke up next to her holding him, he always forgets about it with her. He thinks about all of the lives cut too short and how he couldn’t help them. All the places they could be right now and the things they could be doing. All of the words unspoken.

It hits Peter faster than lightning. All of their missed opportunities. As much as he hates to do it, he would be lying if he hasn’t thought he was going to die during a mission. That shadow held over his head whenever he got stuck in situations that seem impossible, like being thrown under a pile of rubble. Missions could go wrong and their love could become fleeting. There may never be another time like this where (y/n) is this close to him. It would be insulting if he didn’t seize this moment for all of the people he couldn’t save.

The words fall from his lips faster than he could think. “I love you.”

(y/n) pulls away from his chest to meet his eyes. Peter wasn’t scared anymore of his feelings, he was scared he would never say them. “Without you I’m so weak, I can’t do anything. I short circuit and everything gets so overwhelming but then you’re there. You smooth out all the edges and you’re always there no matter how long it takes. You make me smile with your jokes and rants. You make me forget that I’m supposed to be saving the world. You’re this fresh breath of air from everything. Whenever I’m with you, I feel different. I am different. And I like that a lot, the way you make me feel. You make me strong.”

Peter freezes after saying that, his mind screaming at him for saying that. His heart was jumping with joy though, it was off his chest. He didn’t feel regret at all. He wasn’t scared of it anymore, his love. People always shy and run away from it or it gets cut short, and he refuses for that to be the case with him. He couldn’t let her get away, he needs her.

(y/n) closes her eyes, her heart jumping. A wave of warmth washes over her and she knew. She loves him. She does but it was terrifying to be that vulnerable. It was more petrifying to have something that close to her heart and her head taunting her that it could go all wrong.

When she opens her eyes, she sees him. Peter was twiddling his thumb but his eyes were now studying the sky. God, she was so gone for him.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know.” Peter says.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes.”

(y/n) wraps her hand around his. “I love you so much,” her voice barely above a whisper.

Peter brings her hands up to his lips. She was scared, he could tell. But she relaxes easily into him, their bodies melting together. Their heartbeats became one as they drift off to sleep, unbothered by the world. In a silent promise, they swore they were going to guide each other through the rough patches and would help one another up. They were going to make each other strong.

#k2onedirection #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker oneshot #peter parker one shot #peter parker oneshots #peter parker one shots #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #spiderman #spiderman x reader

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imyourliquor-youremypoison · 6 years

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A Light That Endures, by The Moonlily [@themoonlily] (432k)

Of old days of the Mark the tale of Lion of Rohan and his Lady fierce and brave is remembered and beloved by Eorlingas beyond any other... This is a story of being lost and found, and discovering your redemption. Here is a Light that Endures.

Behold the result of an hour of photoshop editing. This is what happens when I’m left unsupervised, I get sucked into the éothiriel vortex and make shitty fanart for want of writing my own fanfictions for this pairing.

I’m currently in the process of reading this fanfiction - I’m only 1/5 into the story but it already holds the promise of long sleepless nights spent reading it until the wee hours. What do you mean I can’t make a fic rec if I haven’t finished said fic? Nonsense.

Listen, I don’t need to read any more of it to assure you that it’s a jewel, alright? A diamond, the huge kind everybody wants to see on their ring finger at some point in their life. Although you better believe I will read it until the very last word, all 432 264 of ‘em. Because, like my gal pal Jane Austen once said “When a book is well written, I always find it too short.” And if you think I’m going to bully all of my friends into reading it too, you are absolutely right, and while we’re at it you should give it a go too.

UPDATE: I have finished it. My life is a pile of fuming ashes on the desolated ground, I have nothing left to live for, and am forever bound to wander aimlessly on this doomed earth without a purpose. What am I supposed to do after reading this? Can life live up to what I just experienced through these words? Is it even worth finishing college or should I sit on a window sill and simply melancholy stare out the window until my body ceases to function and turns to dust?

Am I being dramatic? Certainly, that’s just who I am as a person. But the fact remains that my world has been turned upside down. Granted my sleeping schedule has significantly improved since I finished this fanfiction, but what is a bit of sleep if my waking hours aren’t filled with quality Eothiriel stories? Gotta say it: the bar has been set rather high, and I’ve been struggling to find a work that rouses similar enthusiasm in me as this one. Life has been generally a bit more dull now that I cannot look forward to reading a new chapter of ALTE anymore.

So, to all of you who stuck around until this point:

UPDATE (2): You know how I’ve been throwing my very own little pity party because this fanfiction was over and my life has basically become aimless? Well, I was in the wrong, because there IS MORE.

Flickers of Light (54k)

It’s a series of 48 oneshots, little snippets of Eomer and Lothiriel’s everyday life, a bit fluffier than what the author used us to in ALTE. I’m in the process of reading them all but I honestly don’t know what more to say if you’re not convinced that you should read this story at this point.

I wish I knew about this while I was reading ALTE because reading 54k worth of oneshots in one go sure is tedious when you have to try and replace each of them in the chapter of ALTE they belong to. So it’s best to read them as you go and switch between ALTE and Flickers of Light because of the chronology.

King and Lioness (266k)

Ghosts that we knew will flicker from view and we will live a long life.

I’m thrilled about finding this one, seriously people, I once again have a goal in life. I’m so excited! ALTE is perfect one its own, so I was a bit scared before staring to read this one, because what if it ruined a perfetly good story, right? Well, I sure was wrong, because it’s fantastic. The mood is quite different from ALTE, that’s true, but it’s a natural evolution and not an abrupt change of tone. The characters follow their arc, and life goes on (a lot more time goes by in K&L than in ALTE even if this one is shorter) following its natural course. It’s quieter, cosier, it a story you can read without wanting to rip your hair out because of the STRESS and SUSPENS which nearly made me go bald during ALTE.

Then again I’m only halfway through so maybe the stressful/suspensful parts are yet to come.

UPDATE: I have finished it. Last night I pushed through the last handful of chapters because I stubbornly refused to go to bed before reaching the end. It took me forever the read the last chapters because I was too busy bawling my eyes out - and consequently having the clean my glasses and blow my nose regularly - because of how sad I was.

And it’s not even a sad ending, it’s a happy ending. But it made me sad, and I honestly don’t know how I even managed to ugly cry for over two hours without alarming my roommates or drowning in my own snot. (Classy, I know.)

I knew how it was going to end for Eomer and Lothiriel, I knew it from A Light That Endures, but I didn’t expect it to be so heartwrenching, and I especially did not expect it to be written all the way to the end. I thought the author was going to stop at the peak of happiness in the story. But no, she didn’t. And while you see the end coming, it doesn’t make it easier to read it, or accept that it’s how things are.

SPOILER WARNING ----

@themoonlily You made me cry so hard I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all after finishing it. From the moment Eomer freed Silfren tears starting blurring my vision and after that the flow didn’t stop until I reached the very end. It really broke my heart to read about Eomer’s death even though it was peaceful. Of course I personally love Eomer, but having to read about Lothiriel’s mourning and aching made the loss ten times worse. I was already there, a weeping mess, and then I thought about how much pain she must be in if it’s that bad for me, and it only made me cry harder.

I have loved your story and the characters in it from the very first chapter of ALTE to the last of K&L, and it cost me so much to read about their end. I love your writing to pieces, and I know I will read ALTE again at some point in my life, but I don’t think I can go through the emotional turmoil of K&L again, I genuinely don’t have the strength to do that to myself again. It was so cathartic, I was exhausted by the time I finished (at an ungodly hour of the night) like I’d run a marathon, I was drained of my energy as though I was the one who’d lived their lives, and done what Eomer and Lothiriel had done -instead of reading a book while snivelling and crying-

I will cherish your story forever, thank you for writing it (and nearly killing me with Feels)

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erlenmeyertrash · 6 years

Text

breathe in, breathe out

well it sure is a day of valentine

// this is,, not. happy. or good. sorry folks. it’s the literal only thing i’ve been able to write in weeks. the amount of times i’ve found myself staring at a blank paper lately is a little traumatic. we had to get something out to make the fingers stop having that weird soul-itch and this happened to be what it is.

words: 1259 | pairings: none (there’s. not even a named character. so.) | warnings: some self-deprecation… if you’re on the struggle bus of executive dysfunction, this may not be the best thing to read? it’s not acutely mentioned but. its presence is. pretty there.

tag list: @virmillion, @zerogettie, @five-hour-anxiety, @lovelylogans, @shattered-raine, @countessmissyshort, @lakesandquarries, @randomslasher, @pantasticpanini, @dragonangel-funandfire, @that-space-gay-writes, @a-blog-just-for-sanders this is not at all indicative of my normal writing style/level but if for some reason you wanna be added to my tag list just let me know :)

so.

without further ado

breathe in

breathe out

breathe in

breathe out

but not great big inhales, no

just enough to send oxygen to the extremities

every so often, enough force behind it to make noise

a longer exhale.

it’s 11:21. a navy blue blanket is draped over the outside world; saturated, starlit air seeps through the slits of the blinds.

there are things to be done. many, many things. he knows this. he should do them. he wants to do them.

in some way, at least.

they need to get done. they aren’t whimsical nightly iterations. they’re practical necessities. do his homework. wash his face. brush his teeth. talk to people. move the papers cluttering the right side of the desk because the mess has been there for weeks now. take the empty water bottles to the kitchen. move the loose change to the coin jar. shower. change into pajamas. eat dinner. eat something.

do it, he tells himself. inhale. exhale. do the thing. sit up. feet on the ground. move to the chair. open the laptop. check the calendar. do the homework. do it.

breathe in

breathe out

he doesn’t.

for someone who internally claims to hate messes so much, the one rapidly accumulating- slowly invading from the entryway of the room, a death march, piano chords echoing through the empty air, the drummer keeping time with the days- doesn’t seem to bother him very much.

or.

well.

it does bother him.

he just. doesn’t. do anything about it.

the write-up, folded to the second page over its staple, its corner slipping off the haphazardly stacked notebooks. the other notebooks, standing slouched against each other in a random order, the bookend barely keeping them upright, more loose papers flopping over it. the roll of tape and the extra wall hook and the headphone jack scattered across the only visible portion of the end table. the speaker that belongs on the dresser sitting on the folded charger cord. the eraser shavings littering the desk. the pens lying inches from the pencil holder. is that- is that another roll of tape by the box of paperclips?

the pairs of shoes strewn in front of the door. the pair of socks that didn’t make it into the sock drawer and simply remained on the ground. the sweater crumpled by the bed. the duvet, twisted at an angle, practically diagonal across the mattress; the sheets pulled the other way, sliding out, inches from brushing the unclean floor. the pillows tossed against the wall, covers wrinkled from where his head lay the night before. the random pile of things he couldn’t even name in the corner by the bathroom door.

he hates the mess.

clean it up. come on. get up. move the shoes to the closet. fold the socks. put them in the drawer. pick up the sweater. straighten the notebooks. put that in the folder. make the bed. fluff the pillows. please. get a move on. do it.

breathe in

breathe out

he doesn’t.

he wishes he could sleep.

it’s 12:57. he isn’t asleep, but he took the empty bowl and put it in the dishwasher and filled another cup with water and brought it back and swore he’d drink it all, since he was so thirsty.

plot twist: he hasn’t drank any.

the light has been on in the bathroom for how long now?, he knows he should turn it off. just. get up. put his feet on the ground. and go and turn it off. better yet, brush his teeth while he’s in there, too. then just put on comfier clothes and crawl back into bed- under the covers this time- and finally, finally succumb to sleep, let unconsciousness crash over him like a wave like he’s wanted pleaded begged his brain to let him do for the past so many hours.

plot twist: he doesn’t do it.

there are too many things that need to be done before he can sleep.

he hasn’t done them, so he needs to do them. he can’t sleep yet.

the folded write-up looks like it might fall any moment now. he can’t see the grade on it. not that it matters to him much anyways. he turned it in, right? it’s fine.

the mess on the desk makes his scalp itch. he stares at it. he would glare, but that requires making his eyes squint, and his eyes are so tired.

but he can’t sleep. there’s too much he has to do. too much he needs to do.

he can’t burn out. he can’t. where did his energy go? he had so much yesterday, bouncing, boundless, boisterous energy, exuded in his laugh, in his eyes, in the things he did, in the fact that he did things. he almost really used it yesterday, too. he almost did the reading before class- almost. he did some of it, though. that was good, right?

no. it’s not enough. you know that. don’t kid yourself. you need to do more. come on. these aren’t things you can ignore. come on. you can do it. p l e a s e. you need to. you can do them and then go to sleep. you want to sleep, right? so come on. get up. sit up. feet on the ground. stand up. do it.

breathe in

breathe out

he doesn’t.

he got up at some point, right? to do something? why didn’t he do anything productive before sitting back down?

‘how was your day?’ my day?

he racks his brain. he had a day? oh, yeah. he did. what did he do? he must have done something. sssssomething. what did he- oh, yeah. he remembers. he doesn’t remember feeling anything, though. he just. has memories. of a day. like learning about a war from centuries ago on crinkled textbook pages. he has no ties, no connection, to the battle he led this morning. did he?

he wants to do something. that’s what other people do, right? they want to do things, to learn things, to make things, to feel things, so they go and. they do it. he did it a few days ago. he did it last week, a little bit. why can’t he do it now?

his eyes hurt. he wishes he could go to sleep. the bed is still unmade and he has a burning desire to make the bed, but the fire is encased in his stomach which feels as though it is made of ice. a permafrost preventing productivity.

maybe tomorrow he’ll have energy. right now

breathe in

breathe out

he doesn’t.

he doesn’t know what time it is. late, he supposes. by some ungodly miracle, he made his way to the bathroom. brushed his teeth. didn’t really scrub his face, but he splashed some water on it, that counts for something, right?

the bed is haphazardly made with too-tired hands before he sinks into it, curling on his side, into himself. twisting so his back doesn’t ache more after being slouched for so many hours this afternoon. he berates himself for doing nothing, at all, the entire evening.

he hears the neighbors thud up the stairs, muffled giggles as they retreat from their evenings. the fire is replaced by an unsettled illness.

you’re disgusting. disappointing. a hopeless romantic, doing absolutely nothing whatsoever on valentine’s day? not even trying? pathetic. how can you even look at yourself and not hate what you see?

breathe in

breathe out

breathe in

breathe out

breathe i n

breathe o u t

he doesn’t.

#sanders sides #...barely?#i imagine it as #roman #but it could also be #logan #or maybe even #virgil #but honestly whatever you want fam #it's practically #not ts #anywayS #this is what i feel. like. all the time lmao #i identify as she/her but for some reason it's so much easier for me to write it as a he/him/his character which. hnn. if i can write #then #well #who gives a damn who my main character is #maybe getting this out will help at all (and maybe it won't but we'll see i guess?)#@ lab and @ ali hey look i did a self-insert fic whoo #...i barely even proofread this and i apologize so much #//for anyone reading/worrying... it might... seem bad? but it's not and i'm fine haha #a n y w a y s #@ lab: the hour times the ten of the minute is the minute minus the one of the hour #for 11:21 #...so yeah /yikes/ hopefully we'll churn out something actually decent soon

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just-got7-things · 7 years

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The Note

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff with a tiny bit of angst

Summary: Yoongi has to leave early in the morning and instead of waking you up to say goodbye, he leaves you a note.

Yoongi hates to leave so early in the morning. Not because of the ungodly hour of 4 am but the fact that he can’t tell you goodbye. Well he could but he knew you had a long day ahead of you and you could use all the sleep you could get. He knew you would be mad for him leaving without telling you but he can’t seem to make himself take you out of your peaceful slumber. He feels like an asshole already having to leave you yet again but if he woke you up, that feeling would just get worse. Instead he leaves a carefully placed note on the nightstand that you will see as soon as you open your eyes. Besides, you can call him when you wake up like you usually do when he’s away.

~~~~~

The screeching calls of the alarm clock rouse you from your little slice of heaven called sleep. You don’t dare open your eyes yet because you could feel the sun’s warmth on your skin and you didn’t feel like being blinded just yet. You flop your arm around the nightstand until you find the annoying machine and hit the off button. You wish you could sleep for another hour but you have two meetings this morning that you could not be late for. You turn over to find the other side of the bed cold. Your eyes pop before the memory of Yoongi telling you about the trip. Why did he not wake you up when he left though? He always did. Even with your grumpy curses he still said goodbye.

You pout and reluctantly get out of bed. Looking at the clock, you notice that you don’t have very much time to slack off and your usual morning call to Yoongi would have to wait until your break. You hop in the shower and start washing your body allowing the warm water to loosen up your muscles while you mentally prepare yourself for the day ahead. Quickly, you dry off and get dressed into the outfit you had chosen for the day. Good thing you usually pick out what you wear the night before because there is not a minute to spare as you rush to put on your makeup and style your hair. You run through the house grabbing your purse and jacket as you make your way out the door. Locking it behind you, a little wave of sadness washes over you because you didn’t get to say goodbye to Yoongi before he left. You shake your head to get rid of the thought and start making your way to work.

The meetings drag on as you listen to your peers mostly complain about the new merger that is about to take place. You usually would add some opinions of your own into the mix but today you just didn’t feel like adding onto the complaints. You were mostly there to listen to the financial reports anyway and see how things might look in the next quarter. With the meetings lasting longer than expected, you don’t have time for a break today. You could just imagine the emails that were piling up in your inbox and the stack of work being left on your desk. Even though you were extremely busy, every now and then the thought of Yoongi would pop into your head leaving you a bitter taste in your mouth. Not only were you sad about this morning, but with the routine that you had grown accustomed to being disturbed you were starting to get agitated as well. He not only affected your morning but he was affecting your work as well. You let a dry chuckle escape from your mouth as you thought about how much Yoongi had significance over your day. You usually laughed at the girls who made their man the center of their lives but now you realized you were starting to become one of them. Nope. This can’t happen. You gave yourself one minute to think but eventually put everything Yoongi related into a box and pushed him as far back into your brain as you could. You had work to do and thinking about him was getting nothing done. You took a deep breath before jumping into your long day. Alright. Time to get to work.

~~~~

This is strange. She should have already called by now. She must be having a really busy day. Yoongi sat at the airport waiting for the car to come pick him and the other members up. He wasn’t particularly worried that you haven’t called him because he understands busy days, he just really wants to know whether or not you saw his note. Surely she would have seen it. It was right in front of her face. She is a wild sleeper though…The thought of you sleeping made him smile. You weren’t the tamest when you slept and Yoongi always had to be prepared to get an arm in the face or an elbow in the back. He knew you couldn’t help it which is how he kept himself from completely kicking you out of bed but sometimes he had some rough nights. Yoongi stares at his phone debating whether or not he should text you to see how your day was going. He wanted to talk to you but he didn’t want to distract you during work. Before he could type out a message, the car pulls up in front of the group and the body guards swarm around them creating a barricade for them to hurry into the car before it was swamped with fans. He decides that it’s best to leave you be and let you get as much work done as possible.

~~~

As the day passes, you make pretty good progress through your work even though your mind keeps drifting to the asshole named Min Yoongi. You wanted to think of anything except him but your mind just wouldn’t let you. First, he didn’t say goodbye this morning and now he hasn’t even texted or called you to see how your day was going? They were selfish thoughts but you didn’t care anymore. You were his girlfriend and you wanted him to show a little affection every now and then. Just a simple text from him asking if you had eaten yet would suffice but noooo Mr. Tough Guy Min Yoongi didn’t do those kinds of things. You mentally stick your tongue out at the picture you had of him on your desk. At least the day was almost over and you could go home and finally relax. You began to shut down everything in your office and pack up for the day when one of your coworkers stops by and asks if you want to come get some drinks with them. You decline the offer and start heading home.

You unlock the door and walk into your apartment immediately feeling the stress of the day melt off your shoulders. The irritation is still there but eventually you’ll get over that. Eventually. The first thing you do is change into your pajamas so that you would be comfortable. Next, you head into the kitchen to start dinner. You end up making something simple since Yoongi wasn’t there. There he was again, popping into our mind not letting you fully be at ease. Not only were the events of the day making you irritated but being at home without Yoongi made you lonely as well. Still no text or call from him. You want to at least know how his day was going but you don’t want to distract him so you decide to just leave him be.

You eat dinner and retreat to the bedroom so you could work on some things for the morning. Yoongi never approved of either of you bringing work into the bedroom since you both seemed to be workaholics but he wasn’t there and you knew that you would be falling asleep soon. You sit down on the bed and turn to get your laptop from the shelf beside your bed when you notice a folded piece of paper on the floor. Squinting at the piece of paper in confusion you pick it up and see that it has Yoongi’s handwriting. This couldn’t be something he has been working on because he would never be as careless as to leave it on the floor so you could read it. You turn it over and see your name written in the black ink. You slowly open the note and begin reading.

Y/N,

Another day I have to leave you. Another day I have to go without your beautiful smile. My love may not always be spoken but know that it is there. It is there in the wind that rustles the leaves and it is there in the rays that warm your skin. I hate to leave you again. When I leave, I feel like my whole world is without it’s sun. I did not wake you this time because I did not want to see the sadness that fills your eyes when the goodbye leaves your beautiful mouth. What I would give to see you every minute of every day for the rest of my life. The love I have for you is as endless as the stars in the sky. Please stay well my love and know that I am with you always as you are with me. Thank you for becoming my one and only. My treasure.

Yoongi

Before you realize it, tears begin to fall down your face and your hands cannot reach fast enough for your phone. You have to call him. You have to hear his voice. Even though you can’t see with the amount of tears in your eyes, you successfully dial his number and wait for him to answer. After a few rings, he finally picks up.

“Hey babe, how was your day?”

“Yoongi, you asshole!” You cry into the phone.

“What happened? What did I do?”

“You wrote me this damn note and now I’m crying because you’re the sweetest boyfriend anyone could have!”

“Awww baby, don’t cry. I meant for that note to make you happy.” You could hear him chuckle a little as he soothed you.

“Don’t baby me! How dare you write that note and then just leave! How am I going to kiss you when you’re all the way across the world?” You’ve stopped crying but the emotions are still there.

“I’ll be home in couple days. You can kiss me all you want when I get back.” You could hear the smile in his voice just by the way he talked. He must have been by himself because he never would say that in front of anyone.

“You better be prepared. I’m not in the mood for any games.”

You and Yoongi continue to talk on the phone talking about both of your days, how that annoying intern is always kissing up to the boss and getting in your way and how Jin keeps going at it with his dad jokes just to annoy him. After about an hour and a half, you hear Yoongi yawn which causes you to yawn in return.

“We should both get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day for both of us.” Yoongi’s voice is starting to get groggy and you’re already almost asleep just listening to it.

“I know. Talk tomorrow?”

“Of course, baby girl.”

“Okay. Goodnight. Love you. Sweet dreams.” You don’t want to let him go but you know he is right. You both need sleep for the next day.

“Goodnight. Sweet dreams. I love you too.”

You hang up the phone and put it on the charger as you head into the bathroom to brush your teeth. After washing up, you climb back into bed and set your alarm. Before you’re able to get comfortable, you hear your phone go off on the nightstand. You turn it over and there is a text from Yoongi.

Come meet me in my dreams.

#bts #bts fluff #bangtan boys #bts suga #suga fluff #min suga #yoongi fluff #min yoongi #suga angst #yoongi angst #min yoongi fluff #how come i can write this in like an hour #but yet i cant write a reaction in like 2 days #i just dont understand #i want a min yoongi

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thisislizheather · 6 years

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May Musings

So this is the first post in what I hope to be a new series of posts that I’m going to try to do. (Have I said that before? About other things? Oh god, maybe I have. I have a tendency to start something enthusiastically and then immediately forget about it and sometimes even forget it ever even existed?) I will really try to not let that happen here.

ANYWAY, what I’d like to do here is talk about the new things I’ve done this month. In the old days, I’d devote whole posts to individual things that I’ve loved or hated, but honestly, some times a few sentences could suffice. So here are some of the things that I’ve encountered in the month of May.

I dry cleaned my winter coat and packed it away for the season. Do you do this when winter's over? You should.

I really don’t go to the movies a lot anymore and I miss not going. I used to go constantly when I was younger, but the real fun of that was because I was going with my brother Robbie. There were a solid fews years in the early 00’s where we’d see everything that was playing in any given theatre. Just for the sake of seeing a movie. I mean, we had a lot of free time then so it just made sense. I go so rarely now that I really need to want to see a movie to get me into a theatre now. Thus, seeing RBG was an active decision, and a great one at that. I knew nothing of the woman before seeing it, and the trailer made it look great, so of course it was. If you’re a fan of women at all, you should see it.

I ate the banana bread with espresso mascarpone at Two Hands in Soho. And whoa. Here it is.

Above: Banana Bread with Espresso Mascarpone from Two Hands

I ate the fried chicken at Blue Ribbon Chicken. I know so little about good fried chicken, but this was pretty incredible. Maybe a smidge more expensive than I thought it should be, but a kid’s meal was a decently priced & sized pre-meal.

I attempted to read Jenny Lawson’s Let's Pretend This Never Happened and I really didn't care for it. I lasted about ten pages then gave up. I’m probably being too harsh here, but I found her tone… irritating. Also, not to boast or anything, but I’m a tiny bit proud of being able to put a book down and inwardly say, “No, thanks.”

I tried Farsali's Jelly Beam Highlighter. I'd never heard of the brand, but they have a tiny section at Sephora that has, like, three items. No idea why. Especially because the highlighter itself is pretty incredible. I bought it solely because of the fact that it was a “jelly” (meaning that it jiggles) highlighter because I’m simple and that sounded fun. I think it looks especially amazing on collarbones.

Nathan and I ate at Rosemary’s in the west village on my monthly Nathan-must-date-me night. He got the roast chicken and I got a kale and celery caesar salad. His chicken was insanely good and my salad just reminded me why celery should never be a main ingredient. It’s not its fault, it doesn’t know any better, but humans should know enough to understand that chomping on celery in any form sucks. Restaurant was beautiful and if I ordered better, I’d have more glowing things to say. My fault.

I went for dinner at L’Artusi with a friend and had probably one of the top five best meals I've ever had in this city. We did wait awhile for a table, but we didn't have a reservation and it was a Saturday night so duh. We ordered one of the specials as an appetizer (the steak tartare) which was incredible then followed it with the insane garganelli with mushroom ragu that I will remember for the rest of my life. They also sent out a kale ravioli that was mind-blowing. And I'm not typically inclined to call kale-ANYthing "mind-blowing," so understand me clearly here. These pastas will change you. I can't wait to take more people here. The service was incredible. I really can't say enough good things about this place. Go nowhere else for pasta.

I finally went to the Birch Coffee near my house and I'll keep this brief. A small iced coffee shouldn't cost $4 in 2018. A coffee shop should have a bathroom. A coffee shop that is "wifi free" shouldn't boast about that fact. Any business that is "cashless" is obnoxious and nobody likes you. The coffee tasted all right. That is all.

I got the banana-chocolate pudding at Magnolia Bakery. Remember how much I already love the original banana pudding at Magnolia Bakery? Yeah, this one is better. It just is. Of course it is. Adding chocolate to something that was already perfect just makes sense. Give the people what they want.

Tried some of the burger and the chicken sandwich at The Spotted Pig and MEH. I mean, yeah, they were good, but they’re ungodly expensive for what’s being put on your plate. And those skinny little fries that are piled up like a mountaintop? Deceiving. They tasted like air! They look like they're gonna be amazing, but you're left with a feeling of emptiness inside. Emptiness and hunger. A fry should taste like a fry. Basic physics here, guys. The main reason we went was because it was after midnight and for some reason their kitchen stays open late (possibly only to swindle you with $26 burgers when nothing else in the area is an option?)

Got an advance screening pass to the movie Gotti. I went. I lasted 25 minutes and then left. Good god, DID IT BLOW. But of course it did. Why didn’t I know that going in? Well, I kinda did but it was free. Wow, was it terrible, though. Comes out next month on the 15th. Don't go.

Last month I heard about Gofobo, which is a site that arranges free movie screenings near you and emails you to see if you want to go, it's amazing. I heard about it right before Nathan and I saw A Quiet Place last month (for free), so I just stayed on their mailing list. Unfortunately they also sent me my Gotti tickets, but I won't hold that against them since I'm the idiot who said, "Gotti? Sure, that seems fun!"

Tried the Ginger Scallion Noodles (with pickled shiitakes, cucumber, nori) at Momofuku Noodle Bar. I’ve been here only once before, years ago, and I really just was in a noodle mood so I came again. It wasn’t terrible, but again, I think I ordered bad. I really wanted the Chilled Spicy Noodles (with sichuan sausage, Thai basil, cashews) but I was dissuaded by my waiter because he said it was overly spicy and then made a face. But then I got a look at it when someone else ordered it and knew I should’ve gotten it because it looked amazing, so I’ll get it next time and then tell you if it’s too spicy. Also, the Soju Slushie that is Spicy Lychee flavored was crazy good. Although that makes sense to me because when I went here years ago, their Singapore Sling slushie was also pretty memorable.

I went in looking for the s'mores pie slice that I've wanted to try for ages, but instead found the salted caramel brownie from Dean & DeLuca. And wow. Just wow.

I finished watching Ugly Delicious on Netflix. I really can’t remember why I put this off for so long, considering how much I like well-shot food shows. For the most part, I thought it was all right, I wrote down a few food recommendations from it (like Lucali in Brooklyn). There were a few parts that made me not really like David Chang, though. They were such small parts, but I don’t know, they stayed with me. Like how during this one segment where he’s doing pizza deliveries alongside a real Dominoes delivery person, they’re going to a bunch of houses and then at the end David goes, “Are we done? Yeah, I’m not doing another fucking delivery.” I don't know, I'm probably reading too much into it, but I just hated the way he said that right infront of the grown man delivery guy. It was rude and belittling and I really didn't like it. As I said, I'm probably reading too much into it, but it bothered me. Other than that souring part, it was an all right series to watch. There were lame parts sprinkled here and there. I feel like I progressively liked it less as each episode went on and I don’t really know why. You know what the problem is? I think he just thinks he’s really cool and funny and doesn’t have a real sense of self and if he were a little more humble or warm as a person, it could’ve helped the overall tone of the series.

I also started watching Bill Hader's Barry on HBO because my brother Gary told me to. I'm only three episodes in and it's pretty good I guess? I mean, it is. I just haven't decided if I'll watch on or not.

Nathan and I have started watching The Twilight Zone (on Netflix) and it's one of the best shows I've seen in such a long time. Obviously not every episode is a great one, but the ones that are? Watch out. We've seen about 40 episodes or so already and there have been at least 20 really great ones, and we're only a quarter of the way through the series. Love watching these at night before bed. This was the final quote from a recent episode we watched that I just loved, "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices - to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own - for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to The Twilight Zone." I mean, that's pretty good, yeah?! Love Rod Serling's voice so much, too. Such a great show. I wish I'd seen it when I was a kid.

Writing all of this down makes it seem like I have a great life, when in reality... oh my god I do. Excited for June!

0 notes

yuufa · 7 years

Text

AoEx Secret Santa 2016: Nocturnal Entertainment

It’s already the 17th in Germany, so I’m just going ahead and post my contribution to this Secret Santa as well! The one I’m bestowing this Mephisto fanfiction with is @demonsandfleas ! Admittedly, this was my first AoEx fic I’ve ever written - and with Mephisto, no less! He’s a difficult character to write, but it was still a lot of fun! I hope that you will enjoy this fic demonsandfleas (and of course all other potentional readers as well)! If you smile or laugh at least once, I consider this gift to be a success. Hope you enjoy what you’ll read!

Disclaimer: This one-shot takes place in the mangaverse (chapter 83), so please be cautious of spoilers!

[ Nocturnal Entertainment ]

A principal of an esteemed school must be a formidable role-model for their students and staff alike. Not only do they shoulder the burden of the school’s continued success on their shoulders, they’re also required to be good at teaching, which isn’t limited to pupils only. Teachers need to be shown how to handle certain matters as well, especially those new to the job. After all, a principal is there to guide and advise, to nuture and oversee. As if this wasn’t enough already, they are also required to build and maintain a strong school community. A good atmosphere is necessary to keep everything running smoothly; if people start to get ill-tempered - which more often than not leads to uncooperative behaviour -, it would make everything much more of a hassle.

Throw in the additional work of being a honorary knight in the True Cross Order onto that huge pile - whilst also maintaining a barrier that slows down an artificial Gehenna Gate from inviting doom and destruction into Assiah - and congratulations: you are Mephisto Pheles, one of the Eight Demon Kings who is currently sitting in front of his laptop at 3 in the morning with even darker eye bags than usually. One might ask now, what is the King of Time doing at this ungodly hour? Was there still important work that needed to be done this night? Reports to be written, commands to be issued? An urgency to be handled delicately and swiftly?

If one were to look at the screen that Mephisto was currently staring at, it would be devoid of anything work-related. Instead, the screen displayed an online shop site filled with merchandise. Figurines, keychains, dakimuras - the list went on and on.

Mephisto Pheles, principal of True Cross Academy and one of the mightiest demons alive, was currently shopping to his heart’s content.

In his opinion, he certainly deserved to indulge himself in his pleasures, as today had been especially demanding of him. Less so his principal duties and more so his responsibilities as an exorcist. It wasn’t easy to juggle between dealing with authorities, the cram school in all its glory and his brothers’ needs. Good lord, Amaimon had certainly caused him a lot of trouble this afternoon, what with nearly getting into another fight with Rin. It was honestly exhausting to tell his younger brother again and again that he ought to behave properly in order to stay outside. Sometimes, it felt like as if he was talking to a broken recorder. Younger brothers could be rather difficult at times, he concluded.

However, instead of focusing his thoughts onto past unpleasantries, he prefered to enjoy the present to its full extend. Sure, it was 3 am and he should be asleep, by all means, but that didn’t stop him from staying awake nonetheless. As a responsible adult who paid for his bills and got all sorts of work done, he had every goddamn right to spend his free time however he wanted to. Then again, it’s not like as if he would allow anyone to tell him what to do with his life - that was just absurd. He had always lived life on his own accord and that wouldn’t change anytime soon, if at all.

As Mephisto was done shopping for himself, a sudden thought crossed his mind - what if he would buy his brothers a gift as well? After all, he had a secret mission going on; to convert all of his siblings into otakus.

Albeit a silly mission and by far not reaching the top of his list in accomplishing life goals - it would be futile to ask for the full list, as Mephisto did not like to play with open cards -, it was still something that he wanted to turn into a reality. He had already started with Amaimon, who had shown a decent amount of interest in this particular human culture. Luckily for him, Rin was also quite fond of mangas, at the very least. Even Yukio showed a moderate interest, albeit not nearly as big as the other two. Still, it was a start and progressed a lot better than what he could say about his other siblings. Especially Lucifer.

It was a shame, really. Humans have created and developed such fascinating things - how could you not try any of it out? If only they attempted it at least once, instead of wanting to burn this realm down because they experienced pain through their physical bodies. They missed out on so much fun and entertainment, he almost pitied them.

The idea of buying his siblings gifts solidified, Mephisto wondered what exactly he should buy them. It certainly wouldn’t be something that they would outright enjoy without question - what would be the fun in that? No, he was still a demon and teasing and pissing off his brothers continued to be an enjoyable hobby of his. Maybe not the most unproblematic activity to pass time, but it was plain and simple fun.

(And there goes the converting part in favour of being a smug bastard. Well, wasn’t the first time that happened.)

As Mephisto browsed through the site, he snorted at an article he just found. A mischievous grin formed itself on his lips, the King of Time chuckling amusingly as he leaned back in his chair. Gloved hands folded neatly underneath his chin while one of his legs went over the other to adjust his sitting position into a more comfortable one. “A dakimura printed on a dakimura? Oh, this is too good to pass up~”, he mumbled to himself, ordering it immediately. Who would receive it, you ask? Well, he would bestow it upon Lucifer - his poor brother needed all the rest he could get, after all. One more pillow would certainly do the trick, no? Even more so if he would draw Lucifer’s face on it with the inscription ‘This could be your body’. Motivating, wasn’t it?

He might have found this joke less amusing if he were more awake, but hell, he’s already sleep-deprived enough as is. In this state, many things turn out to be suddenly far more hillarious than they have any right to be.

The next things he ordered were equally obscure - chopsticks that looked like ridiculously thin kunais, a white hoodie with a strange penguin motive (or at least that’s what he is assuming anyway), an exceptionally badly drawn manga which makes him question how it got even printed to begin with… Anything that you would proclaim as ‘absolutely weird’ or ‘downright bad’ found itself in his basket.

When everything was said and done, Mephisto threw a quick glance towards the time - almost 4 am. Huh, time certainly passes by faster if you’re actually engrossed in something. However, time was relative to him, given his powers. Still, it was a little realization that everyone had once in a while, even if you were the King of Time.

Finally deciding to turn in for the night, Mephisto shut down in laptop and maneuvered himself to his bed. As much fun it was to surf through the internet in order to find the strangest things humanity had to offer (he would never forget that one time he decided to browse through the deepest sections of fanfictions in one particular night), he knew that his body required rest. He couldn’t completely exhaust himself, not with everything going on. There were demons to defeat, Illuminati’s to be outsmarted, people to be observed - Mephisto truly had a lot on his plate. However, he was a skilled multi-tasker - and one who enjoyed to be involved in so much fun. (Assiah continued to be the best playground he could ever hope for.)

As he layed down on his bed, his mind wandered back to all the stuff he had ordered. Oh, what wouldn’t he give to see each and everyone’s initial reaction upon his gifts! It would be a riot for sure - especially if he went through with the one he came up with for Lucifer. He might reconsider tomorrow, as this would definitely cause his brother to pop more than one vein. But for now, he simply entertained the thought, the mere possibility of it happening. That alone was amusing enough.

After all, Mephisto was already accustomed to sit back in his chair, sip on some delicious tea while watching the world around him fall into utter chaos. It was always a great pleasure to have the front seat on such extraordinarly exciting shows. Even an entertainer wishes to be entertained and life just happened to be the best stage.

But for now, the stage would have to wait as Mephisto slipped into the gentle embrace of darkness.

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