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puppetmaster13u · 9 months

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DP X DC X Subnautica

Where the Justice League (mostly focusing on the Superfam or Batfam or Flashfam) are large leviathan-esque creatures living on Planet 4546B. Maybe they can change forms due to Precursor experimentation, maybe not. Those with young hang out around the shallows more than the others, what with most of them being large super or specialized predators.

Enter Danny Fenton, interning on the Aurora when the ship is shot down by the Quarantine Enforcement Platform. Oh sure he probably would have tried to stop the destruction and help, but his ghost powers are a bit on the fritz and a well-meaning worker pushes him into one of the last life pods seeing as he's a child.

Now the leviathans may not know what a ship is exactly, but they can definitely understand that in most cases things technology = precursors. As far as they understand, a metal deathtrap not unlike the old labs or caches fell alongside several metallic eggs, with the emerging hatchlings misshapen and not living long.

But then there's the egg that landed in the shallows, which at first they thought was empty. But a hatchling- much smaller than the previous ones- emerges, a day later than the rest, but they're alive even if their swimming is all wobbly! It's so tiny, and obviously hatched too early with the strange split tail and how it keeps swimming to the surface for air, and they have to protect it! Now if only the little hatchling would answer their calls and not dart into hiding spots whenever they approach...

Honestly this is up to the writer lol, but I like to think that Danny's ghost form, when he finally manages to achieve it again, goes a little naga-esque. Almost like a sea snake instead of just a whispy ghost tail, which while better for swimming doesn't help his freak out over most ghost powers still not working.

Danny is just trying to survive man, maybe find other survivors, turn off this big alien gun, stop creating frost crystals when he sneezes, the usual. He doesn't need giant humanoid-esque leviathan-sized sea creatures poking around!

#DcxDP #Prompts #Subnautica #Prompts that came from a dream lol #featuring Danny's ghost form being like a naga lol #danny phantom au #Space core Danny #Khaara is like an ecto-disease like a super deadly ecto-achne that the precursors fucked around and found out with #Why are Danny's ghost powers on the fritz? Idk maybe it's his first ghost puberty or maybe it's something the Precursors did #Batfam #Supergam #Flashfam #Hell maybe all three families are there in the crater trying to pspspsps the new son/brother #Batfam are deep-water leviathans with reflective undersides & patterns who start brightly colored and get darker with age #Superfam deserve long flowing fins that mimic the red capes & also glowy bits #Flashfam are long and eel-like for speed with electrical abilities for fun #Wonderwoman is probably plated around the limbs & bits of gold-vein patterns (babies hatched in nests of clay perhaps)#Aquaman is even more fish-esque #Cyborg is a young-adult leviathan that was experimented on by the Precursors and is similar to the Warpers #Green Lanterns have transparent green fins that mimic their constructs & green bioluminescence #Danny: I am not a *baby*#Justice Leviathans: Oh my stars it's a *baby*#Billy: Just accept it there's no escape #No shipping between Danny plz to them he is literally a baby

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derpinette · 3 months

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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of

#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration #just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming #the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness #eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing #what a damn chore #so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked #i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace #but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know #anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes #so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really #trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever #JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess #light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings #also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL #so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me #but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace #sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general #oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body #& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks #like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman #& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC

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afeelgoodblog · 5 months

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The Best News of Last Year - 2023 Edition

Welcome to our special edition newsletter recapping the best news from the past year. I've picked one highlight from each month to give you a snapshot of 2023. No frills, just straightforward news that mattered. Let's relive the good stuff that made our year shine.

January - London: Girl with incurable cancer recovers after pioneering treatment

A girl’s incurable cancer has been cleared from her body after what scientists have described as the most sophisticated cell engineering to date.

2. February - Utah legislature unanimously passes ban on LGBTQ conversion therapy

The Utah State Legislature has unanimously approved a bill that enshrines into law a ban on LGBTQ conversion therapy.

3. March - First vaccine for honeybees could save billions

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) has approved the world’s first-ever vaccine intended to address the global decline of honeybees. It will help protect honeybees from American foulbrood, a contagious bacterial disease which can destroy entire colonies.

4. April - Fungi discovered that can eat plastic in just 140 days

Australian scientists have successfully used backyard mould to break down one of the world's most stubborn plastics — a discovery they hope could ease the burden of the global recycling crisis within years. 

5. May - Ocean Cleanup removes 200,000th kilogram of plastic from the Pacific Ocean

The Dutch offshore restoration project, Ocean Cleanup, says it has reached a milestone. The organization's plastic catching efforts have now fished more than 200,000 kilograms of plastic out of the Pacific Ocean, Ocean Cleanup said on Twitter.

6. June - U.S. judge blocks Florida ban on care for trans minors in narrow ruling, says ‘gender identity is real’

A federal judge temporarily blocked portions of a new Florida law that bans transgender minors from receiving puberty blockers, ruling Tuesday that the state has no rational basis for denying patients treatment.

7. July - World’s largest Phosphate deposit discovered in Norway

A massive underground deposit of high-grade phosphate rock in Norway, pitched as the world’s largest, is big enough to satisfy world demand for fertilisers, solar panels and electric car batteries over the next 50 years, according to the company exploiting the resource.

8. August - Successful room temperature ambient-pressure magnetic levitation of LK-99

If the claim by Sukbae Lee and Ji-Hoon Kim of South Korea’s Quantum Energy Research Centre holds up, the material could usher in all sorts of technological marvels, such as levitating vehicles and perfectly efficient electrical grids.

9. September - World’s 1st drug to regrow teeth enters clinical trials

The ability to regrow your own teeth could be just around the corner. A team of scientists, led by a Japanese pharmaceutical startup, are getting set to start human trials on a new drug that has successfully grown new teeth in animal test subjects.

10. October - Nobel Prize goes to scientists behind mRNA Covid vaccines

The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine has been awarded to a pair of scientists who developed the technology that led to the mRNA Covid vaccines. Professors Katalin Kariko and Drew Weissman will share the prize.

11. November - No cases of cancer caused by HPV in Norwegian 25-year olds, the first cohort to be mass vaccinated for HPV.

Last year there were zero cases of cervical cancer in the group that was vaccinated in 2009 against the HPV virus, which can cause the cancer in women.

12. December - President Biden announces he’s pardoning all convictions of federal marijuana possession

President Joe Biden announced Friday he's issuing a federal pardon to every American who has used marijuana in the past, including those who were never arrested or prosecuted.

------

And there you have it – a year's worth of uplifting news! I hope these positive stories brought a bit of joy to your inbox. As I wrap up this special edition, I want to thank all my supporters!

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

#best news of last week

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ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes · 1 year

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Sometimes being a queer woman means spending a fucking hour in bed arguing to the air second by second against a transphobic add you somehow got showed on youtube

#it’s a way to process all that stupidity #ughhhh #and mentally prepare myself if I ever meet a person like that #bc they’re clearly a fucking idiot #but they’re propably also gonna argue against me and believe they’re right if the person stumble #ugh #me #also I’ve never actually seen a video by this guy #but I’ve seen other videos commenting on him #and the entire thing was just so clearly edited and constructed to prove his already made opinion #so much for going to bed early Jesus Christ #the most ridiculous point was going oh the same hormone used in puberty blockers used to be used for forced chemical sterilization #yes and the hormone now used to prevent pregnancies used to be to improve the chance of pregnancy #also idk if it’s the same one but #one of the hormones used for chemical sterilization was found to have that property after being fucking used to halt growth in children #people with a disease that made them grow abnormally that I can’t remember the name of #so it actually went puberty blocking - sterilisation - pubert blocking if you wanna get nitpicky #ughhh

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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i mean. medical technology is all about stopping "natural" things from happening to our bodies. from external diseases to internal parts of our bodies not working the way we need them to (our brains, our organs, our immune systems), medicine is all about interfering with things that have naturally gone wrong in our bodies--and that for the first time in history, we might have a way to fix. and that's not even getting into cosmetic stuff--the billion dollar industries to remove acne and body hair for instance. natural things that happen to our bodies, that we have decided are unpleasant and that we have the right to change. and that's fine, because these are our bodies, and we have a right to change them, natural or not.

so stop pretending that depriving trans kids of puberty blockers and other medical care is okay, because growing irreversible secondary sex characteristics that they do not want is "natural"

#not a shitpost #serious post #trans healthcare #'let nature take it's course' how about i dump your body in an open grave and let natural processes take their course #look at you decomposing like a champ!

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zincbot · 2 years

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I WANT TO WORK. OUT.

#i haven't set up my Mat. and my. WEIGHTS #since moved #and it"s been. SO FUCKING HOT #and i've been. SO FUCKING TIRED #i only like. to work out in the mornings. but i work every morning #also i'm kinda scarednervous cause i no longer have an office i can close door and do private things in and there's not enough space in my #bedroom #so my housemates will be able to see me and my terrible shitty form lifting my shitty little weights on the ground like a maniac #(overthinking overthinking)#ugh i'm gonna see if i muster the energy to at least clear a space and set up my mat tomorrow #i miss doing regular workout routines #sorry for exerciseposting i would have been a jock if it wasn't for my body crapping out on me during puberty and giving me every disease #just kidding i don't know what diseases i have my doctors are running tests ♥️

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big-eater-queen · 2 years

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one of the vilest things about Indian culture is how you treat menstruating people actually

#ask to tag #tag rant #I was lucky compared to some of my friends #and by that I mean my immediate family actually treated me like I was HUMAN #my mom didn't do things like chase me away from lighting the lamp or making prasadam when on my period #still refused to let me go to the temple (which I was more than fine with but in a wider view. not a great take)#My aunt once treated me very crudely because she THOUGHT I was on my period (I was not)#I've had too many friends tell me that they would be given a separate room and be made to sleep on the floor #washing their sheets and clothes by themselves #my mom's cousin is younger than me and when she had her puja for hitting puberty #she was made to perform for all the guests #WHILE STILL SUFFERING WITH WHAT #HER SECOND PERIOD??#when I got mine I was not allowed out of the house and put on arbitrary diet restrictions #my dad was the only person who'd take me out and get me what I was craving at the time #and now my younger cousin has been crying to her mother 'is this a disease? am I going to have this till I die?'#'ma can't they let her get used to it and then do the puja?' 'she can't go out until its done'#screw this. you don't equip us for what happens with our bodies and then turn it into a spectacle for the whole family #maybe even the whole community because 'oooh we have a marriageable girl in the house now #lets announce it to everyone on the street!'#Every time. every single time one of my relatives got her first period I've felt like crying because no kid deserves to go through this #effect of being the oldest in my age bracket I guess.

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 9 months

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By: Azeem Ibrahim

Published: Aug 23, 2023

We cannot allow activists masquerading as experts to have the final word any longer. An open letter sent to the Wall Street Journal last month came and went without the public attention it sorely deserved.

Signed by 21 leading experts on paediatric gender medicine from nine countries, they wrote to take issue with the US Endocrine Society’s statement that so-called ‘gender-affirming’ care is best for minors presenting with gender dysphoria.

Gender-affirming care is code for the belief that hormones and surgery is the best and primary treatment for gender dysphoria since it purportedly “reduces the risk of suicide”.

The experts minced no words – the belief is “not supported by evidence”. Rather than cherry-pick studies which fit the narrative, the experts used far deeper meta-studies which found evidence of mental health benefits to be of “low or very low certainty”.

The risks for minors of puberty blockers and surgeries, including permanent sterility, regret, and lifelong dependence on repeat surgeries and medication are very real. Furthermore, the experts wrote that the claim that gender transition reduces suicides is contradicted by every systematic review. Even the Endocrine Society’s review found no reliable evidence that hormonal transition prevents suicide, yet they have no qualms promoting it.

This is something that every parent across Scotland, deep in their hearts, knew already to be true. That surgery and hormones are unlikely to resolve the underlying mental unwellness that troubles their children.

We live in a world where gender distress has increased in prevalence by several thousand percent in the last two decades – but to question the longevity of these feelings or to describe them in the context of mental health is denounced as transphobic and as provoking suicide. Parents face ultimatums about the suicide of their children despite their being no good reason to believe that puberty blockers will help them.

As Dr Paul McHugh noted all those years ago, “when children who reported transgender feelings were tracked without medical or surgical treatment at Vanderbilt University and London's Portman Clinic, 70%-80% of them spontaneously lost those feelings.”

In the vast majority of cases, the best approach is to love your children and take no medical intervention. Yet, according to The Telegraph, figures show that 98 per cent of children who were given puberty blockers went on to be given cross-sex hormones.

Blockers are dangerous and irreversible in their own right, but they also 'lock-in' children to even more devastating outcomes when they would likely have recovered from the dysphoria without intervention – if only doctors had let them. It is not reality that is causing most of these young people to commit suicide, is it collaborating with a mental disorder with body and mind-altering drugs.

Doctors are supposed to advise treatment on the basis of evidence and fully inform their patients. The Tavistock Clinic scandal shows that even the most (formerly) prestigious institutions were letting children down.

In court, the Government’s Gender Identity Service (GIDS) couldn’t even provide data on the outcomes and consequences of puberty blockers on the minors who were given them. Even if the children were old enough to consent, the consent wouldn’t have been informed.

In order to skirt around questions of consent, we are told convenient myths. Puberty blockers are described as a “physically reversible treatment if stopped” by GIDS. This is an improvement, as until 2020 the claim had been that “treatment with GnRH analogues are considered to be fully reversible”, but it is still scandalously misleading to my mind.

The new definition tacitly concedes that the puberty blockers are not and have never been psychologically reversible – they had been promoted as harmless despite little research having gone into finding out whether this was the case. It also allows the words “if stopped” to do an inordinate amount of linguistic legwork.

The fact that the GnRH drugs shut down large parts of the hypothalamus – the hormonal structure of the brain that regulates our perception of the world around us – should have given clinicians pause for thought before allowing them into the developing brains of children. Indeed, these same GnRH analogues are used for chemical castration. But ideology comes first and children come second.

In many cases, the children affected are girls – now around 75% of them – and many also suffer from autism and other issues which are known to affect socialisation. There are strong correlations between such mental disorders and gender dysphoria.

Parents who attempt to remove vulnerable children from suggestive environments, offer a counter-message, or even attempt to make children more comfortable in their natural sex in the meantime are condemned as transphobic. So are those who insist that minors are not capable of consenting to use chemicals which impact their future so profoundly.

In Canada, a father has been jailed for opposing his child’s gender transition. He insisted that his child, who was 13 at the time, was still a ‘she’ – an utterance which is (quite literally) considered criminal violence in Canada.

He refused consent for her to be given puberty blockers. Dragged through the courts, fined thousands, and imprisoned, the father was unable to stop his child being given not just puberty blockers, but cross-sex hormones, causing them to go through puberty with testosterone and changing his child’s life forever.

In Scotland, children as young as nine have been prescribed puberty blockers. Despite activists' best efforts, minors who want surgery and cross-sex hormones in the UK must wait until the frail old age of 17. This is still a child, but it could be so much worse.

The World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s (WPATH) insist that children as young as nine years old can be given cross-sex hormones. Their ‘guidelines’ also permit mastectomies, implants and prosthetic genitals once these children have been on hormones for 12 months, with no mental health assessment.

Tragically, after 12 months, the risk of cancers, infertility and negative psychoactive effects are already high. It is barbaric to do this to children. Doctors who endorse this course of action should not be trusted. In fact, only a third of WPATH’s ethics committee are medical doctors. As with the Endocrine Society, we cannot allow activists masquerading as experts to have the final word any longer. We need our ethics to be based on compassion and understanding rather than politics.

Paul McHugh's seminal 2014 essay should still serve as a critical point of reference on the use of puberty blockers. McHugh, a distinguished former psychiatrist-in-chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital (an institution which was an early pioneer of such surgeries), wrote candidly at a time before the transgender issue became the cultural powder keg it is today.

McHugh identified three subgroups of transgender people who might be given surgery or medication. The first is the opportunist, such as Isla Bryson, who have obvious motives to change sex. The second group are internally and externally suggestible, similarly to anorexia nervosa patients, who are convinced that a physical surgery will fix their psycho-social problems. The third group are often prepubescent children who, in the process of naturally exploring how they fit into the world, begin to imitate behaviours of the opposite sex.

Puberty blockers are obviously not the solution for any of the groups above. It’s too late for the first, inappropriate for the second and unethical and premature for the third. Puberty blockers must be banned.

#Azeem Ibrahim #puberty blockers #puberty #puberty is not a disease #queer theory #gender ideology #genderwang #medical transition #medical malpractice #medical corruption #medical scandal #poor evidence #sex trait modification #medical experimentation #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #religion is a mental illness

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genderqueerdykes · 10 months

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Feminizing HRT Overview, Guide & Information for All People Seeking It

we also have a version of this post for testosterone/masculinizing HRT as well. we wanted to write a companion piece as many folks have asked about this. it has take a bit of time, but here we are!

The testosterone HRT post is here.

Getting Your Prescription

To start taking estrogen, you will need to find a general practitioner, family doctor, endocrinologist or informed consent clinic where you can discuss gender affirming care with knowledgeable staff. Planned Parenthood is a good option for many trans people in general. Your mental health may also be evaluated, and your heart health and screening for a few other health conditions, as well as having access to your family health history if possible will be required.

Check to see if you have medical insurance, either through your family, your job, or if you are low income, a program like medicaid. Search for low income insurance plans in your area if it is needed, many places offer insurance plans for those who can't afford care on their own.

Here is a map of informed consent HRT clinics in the US.

You will discuss any gender dysphoria, gender presentation needs, if you have a support network, how you are impacted by your gender in your every day life with your provider and so on before being given a prescription. You will only be given a prescription after you discuss the risks of HRT and are screened for possible health problems and diseases or ways your body could react negatively to HRT. If you have needle trauma or phobias and can't inject hormones, it's best to bring it up before you get your prescription to save time and confusion.

The Medications

Treatment typically starts with spironolactone (aldactone), an anti-androgen that blocks androgen receptors ("male" sex hormones) for a few weeks, and then add estrogen, but many folks start with spiro and estrogen at the same time. Spiro will lower the amount of testosterone your body makes. For some people, spiro isn't necessary at all!

Some forms of spironolactone are reported to make folks pee like crazy, others do not have as bad of a time with it. Your mileage will vary depending on manufacturer. Spironolactone is intended to be a blood pressure medication, meaning it is a diuretic and is intended to help your body flush out fluids + salt. You will need to keep yourself hydrated if you notice this effect, as well as increasing electrolyte intake where possible.

Estrogen also lowers how much testosterone your body makes, and triggers changes in the body that occur during puberty in afab & adjacent people. Estrogen can be taken several ways, and is usually taken daily, and several times a day. You can take it in a pill or shot, and several forms of estrogen that can be applied to the skin like creams, gels and patches.

Make sure you thoroughly sanitize the skin of any injection sites or areas you will be applying gel or patches. If you are given topical estrogen, make sure you wash your hands after application and do not have someone else apply it for you. Make sure you do not go swimming or shower within several hours of application to make sure your skin absorbs the hormone.

You may not need to take anti androgens if you are doing estrogen injections, depending on how effective the estrogen injections are for you. Some people may not end up needing anti-androgens at all, and may be able to skip that entirely as spiro has unwanted side effects. Your natural hormone levels will dictate whether or not it's necessary, but it is not necessary for everyone.

You may end up being recommended to switch from one form of estrogen to another as your transition progresses, depending on how your body responds.

It's recommended to not take estrogen as a pill if you have personal/family history of blood clots in a deep vein or in lungs (venous thrombosis).

Some people also end up taking progesterone as well alongside estrogen. Progesterone is typically taken to encourage breast tissue growth, as this is the most prominent effect of the hormone. If sufficient breast tissue growth isn't seen from estrogen alone, progesterone can be added to your regimen, though this is only done later on into treatment, around a year or so in.

If you choose injectable estrogen, make sure to listen to your provider and ask for instructions about how to use needles and syringes, as well as injection angles, how and where you'll be injecting. Do not inject in the exact same spot every time, this can prevent the issue from healing properly and create scar tissue or cause infections or skin tissue necrosis (death). You also need a sharps container to safely dispose of your needle tips. Never re-use a needle, even if it was used previously on yourself. Always ask the pharmacy if you need more needles. A lot of places let you get them in bulk.

If you are going the injection route, make sure you know whether or not you are instructed to do intramuscular or subcutaneous injections. Intramuscular injections usually taper out of the system more quickly and need to be done more frequently, where as many patients find subcutaneous injections less painful and easier as they can be done less frequently.

For more information on safe intramuscular or subcutaneous injection for estrogen, please read here.

Another option for feminizing HRT is to take gonadotropin-releasing hormone (Gn-RH) analogs. They lower the amount of testosterone your body makes and may allow you to take lower doses of estrogen without using Spiro. Gn-RH analogs are usually more expensive, but are an option if for whatever reason the conventional route can't work for you.

DON'T GIVE UP IF YOU DON'T SEE THE EFFECTS YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT AWAY! Many of them can take a long time to develop, often times patience is the key. If you wait it out and still don't see the results you'd like, you can try another route. Don't give up, a lot of people get deterred in the early stage of transition, you'll get there with patience and communication.

Stay patient, stay positive!

What to Expect from Feminizing HRT

Less facial and body hair growth: typically happens 6 - 12 months after treatment starts. Full effects within ~3 years on average.

Slower scalp hair loss: begins 1 - 3 moths after treatment begins. Full effect between 1 - 2 years on average.

Softer, less oily skin, and changes in general skin texture: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 3 years on average

Rounder, softer features including face and body, and more body fat: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects in 2 - 5 years.

Breast development: begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 5 years on average or more, according to medical studies, but it can vary wildly from person to person, give dosage and hormones taken. If desired effects are not seen, progesterone can be taken alongside estrogen to help after around one year on estrogen. When breast growth begins, it starts with hard lumps under the nipples along with some soreness and itchiness. Some have sore breasts for a long time, and some may get scared and think they have cancer during this stage. Breasts will be swollen and tender for good while, and nipples may be especially sensitive to even light touch.

Reduced muscle mass/density: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effect in 1 - 2 years on average

Potential decrease in libido if on estrogen alone, though not guaranteed: If it happens, it's generally within 1 - 3 months in and can last a while, but may even out over time

Fewer erections, decreased ejaculate volume, and erections that can become painful or uncomfortable if frequent erections are not maintained. This begins 1 - 3 months after treatment starts, and the full effect is within 3 - 6 months. Regularly maintaining erections and frequent ejaculation can ease some of these uncomfortable feelings in some people.

Changes in how orgasms feel, changes in texture and degree of sensation of penis and scrotum skin as well as changes in body odor: typically begins within 3 - 6 months, though it varies from person to person. Often times the way one's body responds to orgasms completely changes, many people find themselves experiencing full-body orgasms and more intense erogenous zones elsewhere in the body other than the genitals.

Smaller testicles, or testicular atrophy happens within 3 - 6 months and the full effects are usually seen within 2 - 3 years.

Increase in size of bladder and decrease in size of prostate over time which can lead to making one's gspot harder to find, and make prostate examinations more difficult, though they are still vital, as prostate cancer is still a possible factor.

Potential mood fluctuations while adjusting to the hormones, many report increased crying and sadness during the first 3 - 6 months with this tapering off after a full year at most.

Increased fatigue while adjusting to the hormones, sleepiness and becoming easily exhausted are common reports. This can vary drastically from person to person, ymmv.

If you have testicles and choose to have them removed, you may need to take testosterone as well as estrogen in order to have a healthy endocrine system. You will need to discuss the effects of this with your specialists if you want to go this route. If your androgen levels get too low because your body cannot synthesize enough testosterone after bottom surgery, you may need additional medication.

Potential infertility, though this is not a guarantee, and safe sex should still be practiced at all times. No timeline projected though the longer one is on E the more likely it becomes.

Monthly cycles akin to menstrual cycles: these are not present in everyone, but many people report entering a cycle of extreme fatigue, body aches, abdominal cramping in the approximate area where a uterus would sit, headaches, and more for around the duration of a menstrual cycle (4 - 10 days on average).

Progesterone inversely to estrogen can cause an increase in libido in most who take it, and is the primary hormone used for breast growth. Lactation may also occur while taking prog, if this happens, talk to your doctor right away.

Keep track of your progress when and where you are able, and don't be afraid to bring up any concerns you may have with your professionals or trans friends, or any other trans resource. Your transition is in your hands and you're allowed to modify it as you see fit. If you do not see the effects you want from traditional HRT, you may be able to seek the Gn-RH route, and if you aren't seeing the results you want from just estrogen, progesterone might be of use to you.

You will need to keep an eye on your bone health as high levels of estrogens can increase your chance to develop osteoporosis, and potential new cancers like breast cancer may arise, as well as heart problems. Getting checkups as frequently as possible and communicating with your doctor/s will be of great use when and where possible

Either way, we hope this helps in some way! We will add to it as we find/think of more information. Good luck to everyone seeking feminizing HRT, you deserve to look and feel like yourselves!

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angstyhikka · 5 months

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We decided to do the most terrible thing possible to Collie - puberty >:^)

The boy becomes stronger. He loses control over his magic, his body constantly morphs and strives to become BIGGER. And the funny thing is that neither the kid nor Philip know what is happening to him, and those who know (Archi and Colibri from TandemAU) do not tell. Archi thus takes revenge on Collie for abandoning their family, and Tandem-Colli, to whom his Archi told everything about puberty long before it began, decided that this was not his problem

The only one who tries to help Collie and give at least a rough idea of puberty is Luz. She has no idea how puberty works for the archivists, but she shares with Collie her knowledge of how it works for humans. It doesn't help much, but Collie now at least knows the name of his "disease"

But the problems don't end there... Collie is horny. And he is very, very ashamed of it. He wants to fuse souls with someone. And due to the fact that the only person close to him is Philip, he begins to think that he is in love with him. And Philip, like a typical anime protagonist, doesn’t understand shit and thinks that Collie is just hungry. THEY HAD A MOMENT when Collie, during their another fight, almost swallowed Philip’s head, and this, as we remember, is the language of love and sympathy for Archi (and probably all archivists, I think). And then Collie quickly came to his senses, pulled back and hovered for a minute, after which he ran away without saying anything. What did Philip do? Philip, our dearest autistic creature, didn’t understand a damn thing and ignored what happened. EVERYONE. Literally EVERYONE NOTICED, only Philip didn’t notice

All this Collier's ignorance about what is happening to him, his inability to put energy somewhere and confusion in feelings lead to the fact that he turns into Collistrophe - the final boss of the anarchist story. He becomes completely uncontrollable, his desires get the better of him, and Armageddon begins on the Boiling Islands. And if previously the residents of BI still somehow put up with what was happening, then THIS case crossed all possible lines. There is no night - it is always day, and no one can sleep no matter how hard they try. Noise, fun and games 24/7!

How will Luz, Hunter and Philip get out of this situation and calm Collie down? WE DON'T KNOW :))) But we'll figure it out

#toh anarchist au #toh anarchist #toh #jester collector #collie the jester #anarchist au #phill the demon king #phillip wittebane #emperor belos #the king and the jester

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woman-for-women · 9 months

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"For years, Sharissa Derricott, 30, had no idea why her body seemed to be failing. At 21, a surgeon replaced her deteriorated jaw joint. She’s been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition. Her teeth are shedding enamel and cracking.

None of it made sense to her until she discovered a community of women online who describe similar symptoms and have one thing in common: all had taken a drug called Lupron.

Thousands of parents chose to inject their daughters with the drug, which was approved to shut down puberty in young girls but also is commonly used off-label to help short kids grow taller.

The drug’s pediatric version comes with few warnings about long-term side effects. It is also used in adults to fight prostate cancer or relieve uterine pain and the Food and Drug Administration has warnings on the drug’s adult labels about a variety of side effects.

More than 10,000 adverse event reports filed with the FDA reflect the experiences of women who’ve taken Lupron. The reports describe everything from brittle bones to faulty joints.

In interviews and in online forums, women who took the drug as young girls or initiated a daughter’s treatment described harsh side effects that have been well-documented in adults.

Women who used Lupron a decade or more ago to delay puberty or grow taller described the short-term side effects listed on the pediatric label: pain at the injection site, mood swings and headaches. Yet they also described conditions that usually affect people much later in life. A 20-year-old from South Carolina was diagnosed with osteopenia, a thinning of the bones, while a 25 year-old from Pennsylvania has osteoporosis and a cracked spine. A 26 year-old in Massachusetts needed a total hip replacement. A 25-year-old in Wisconsin, like Derricott, has chronic pain and degenerative disc disease.

“It just feels like I’m being punished for basically being experimented on when I was a child,” said Derricott, of Lawton, Okla. “I’d hate for a child to be put on Lupron, get to my age and go through the things I have been through.”

PBS - Women fear drug they used to halt puberty led to health problems (2017)

#w4w post #w4w infographic #stats #dysphoria #dysphoric #gender dysphoria #feminism #feminist #lupron #puberty blockers #transition #hrt

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redrapscalian · 8 months

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Can we talk about how the Robins' would have the world's Worst Acne of all time? That domino is plastered to their sweaty, oily, Gotham Grime covered faces, not to mention the raging testosterone in Dick, Jason and Tim. All of them have 38-step in-depth skincare routines just so they don't look diseased at all times, and Damien is taking notes and preparing for the worst when puberty finally gets him.

#batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #damien wayne #tim drake #jason todd #batboys #batbros #stephanie brown

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pikahlua · 6 months

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MHA Chapter 407 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

1 その娼婦は一年程前から病に罹っていたそのしょうふはいちねんほどまえからやまいにかかっていた sono shoufu wa ichinen hodo mae kara yamai ni kakatte ita That prostitute had been ill since about a year prior.

2 硬質の疣贅が左腕に生えていたこうしつのいぼがひだりうでにはえていた koushitsu no ibo ga hidari ude ni haete ita A hard wart had been growing on her left arm.

tagline 1 "個性"が起こるよりも昔… "こせい"がおこるよりもむかし… "kosei" ga okoru yori mo mukashi... Long before quirks arose...

tagline 2 No.407　超常遺児　堀越耕平ナンバー407　ちょうじょういじ　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 407 choujou iji Horikoshi Kouhei No. 407 Paranormal Orphan Kouhei Horikoshi

3 彼女が自身の懐妊に八か月もの間気付かなかったのはかのじょがじしんのかいにんにはちかげつものあいだきづかなかったのは kanojo ga jishin no kainin ni hachikagetsu mono aida kidzukanakatta no wa The reason she didn't realize she was pregnant for eight months

4 浮浪生活だけが原因ではなかったふろうせいかつだけがげんいんではなかった furou seikatsu dake ga gen'in de wa nakatta was not only because of her vagrant lifestyle.

5 全く身に覚えがなかったからだまったくみにおぼえがなかったからだ mattaku mi ni oboe ga nakatta kara da It was because she didn't remember it at all.

6 ソレらはいつの間にか彼女の胎に住みつきソレらはいつのまにかかのじょのはらにすみつき SOREra wa itsu no ma ni ka kanojo no hara ni sumitsuki Before she knew it, they settled in her womb

7 彼女の生きる力を吸い取っていたかのじょのいきるちからをすいとっていた kanojo no ikiru chikara wo suitotte ita and were draining away her life force.

1 川のほとりで双子を産み落とした女性はかわのほとりでふたごをうみおとしたじょせいは kawa no hotori de futago wo umiotoshita josei wa The woman, who gave birth to twins by the river,

2 そのまま死亡したそのまましぼうした sono mama shibou shita died just like that.

3 彼女の疣贅はなぜかかのじょのいぼはなぜか kanojo no ibo wa naze ka For some reason, her wart

4 きれいさっぱりなくなっていた kirei sappari nakunatte ita disappeared without a trace.

5 赤児達はあかごたちは akago-tachi wa As for the babies,

6 二人きりだったふたりきりだった futarikiri datta they were alone, [just the two of them].

7 ねずみがやって来て遺体と赤児をかじり始めた頃ねずみがやってきていたいとあかごをかじりはじめたころ nezumi ga yatte kite itai to akago wo kajiri hajimeta koro Just as the rats came and started to gnaw on the corpse and the babies,

8 増水した川がぞうすいしたかわが zousui shita kawa ga the rising river

9 双子をさらっていったふたごをさらっていった futago wo saratte itta swept the twins away.

1 一年後いちねんご ichinengo One year later,

2 "発光する赤児"を皮切りに世界各国で"異能"の報告が相次ぐ "はっこうするあかご"をかわきりにせかいかっこくで"いのう"のほうこくがあいつぐ "hakkou suru akago" wo kawakiri ni sekai kakkoku de "inou" no houkoku ga aitsugu starting with "the luminous baby," reports of "meta abilities" emerged one after the other from all over the world.

3 "異能"は先天性のもうだけではなく "いのう"はせんてんせいのもうだけではなく "inou" wa sentensei no mou dake de wa naku Meta abilities were not just congenital.

4 二次性徴前後の青少年にも後天的に発現したにじせいちょうぜんごのせいしょうねんにもこうてんてきにはつげんした nijiseichou zengo no seishounen ni mo koutenteki ni hatsugen shita Around when they developed secondary sex characteristics, adolescents also expressed them as acquired [traits]. (Note: "Secondary sex characteristics" means puberty basically.)

5 未知の病として調べていた研究グループはみちのやまいとしてしらべていたけんきゅうグループは michi no yamai to shite shirabete ita kenkyuu GURUUPU wa A research group investigating them as an unknown disease

6-7 "異能"を「ヒトから枝わかれした新たなる遺伝子」と発表した "いのう"を「ヒトからえだわかれしたあらたなるいでんし」とはっぴょうした "inou" wo 「HITO kara edawakareshita aratanaru idenshi」 to happyou shita announced that meta abilities were "a new gene branched off from humans."

1 それはあまりに無神経で早計だったそれはあまりにむしんけいでそうけいだった sore wa amari ni mushinkei de soukei datta That was too callous and rash.

2 群生性命を隔つその発表はぐんせいせいめいをへだつそのはっぴょうは gunseisei mei wo hedatsu sono happyou wa That announcement that subdivided gregarious life* (*Note: "Gregarious life" may be a bit too literal to be comprehensible. I think the best way to think of this phrase would be something like "social species.")

3 混沌を加速させたこんとんをかそくさせた konton wo kasoku saseta accelerated the chaos.

4 コンビナート方面で"異能"の連中が結集し始めたそうだコンビナートほうめんで"いのう"のれんちゅうがけっしゅうしはじめたそうだ KONBINAATO houmen de "inou" no renchuu ga kesshuu shi hajimeta sou da "It seems that the meta abilities gangs have begun to gather around the industrial complex."

5 昨夜デモ隊が衝突した奴等だな…… さくやデモたいがしょうとつしたやつらだな…… sakuya DEMO tai ga shoutotsu shita yatsura da na...... "They're the ones the demonstrators clashed with last night......"

6 連中が決起する前に叩くぞれんちゅうがけっきするまえにたたくぞ renchuu ga kekki suru mae ni tataku zo "Let's hit them before they rise up."

7 なんだ？ nanda? "What's that?"

1 超常遺児かちょうじょういじか choujou iji ka "A paranormal orphan, huh?"

2 可哀想だが放っとけ！遺児は保菌者の可能性が高いかわいそうだがほっとけ！いじはキャリアのかのうせいがたかい kawaisou da ga hottoke! iji wa KYARIA (kanji hokinsha) no kanousei ga takai "I feel bad for him, but leave him be! The possibility for an orphan to be a carrier is high."

3 ん n "Right."

4 何の音だなんのおとだ nan no oto da "What's that sound?"

5 ん？ n? "Hm?"

6 え e "Huh?"

1 それは母親から「奪った」異能それはははおやから「うばった」いのう sore wa hahaoya kara 「ubatta」 inou That was the meta ability he "stole" from his mother.

2 その赤児は生まれながらに不遜だったそのあかごはうまれながらにふそんだった sono akago wa umare nagara ni fuson datta That baby was born conceited.

3 身の回り全てが自身の所有物でありみのまわりすべてがじしんのしょゆうぶつであり mi no mawari subete ga jishin no shoyuubutsu de ari Everything around him was his own property.

1 泣けど喚けど自身を見ないなけどわめけどじしんをみない nakedo wamekedo jishin wo minai He cried and screamed, but he didn't see himself.

2 何も与えない者がなにもあたえないものが nani mo ataenai mono ga Those who gave him nothing

3 ただただ tada tada were simply

4 疑問だったぎもんだった gimon datta problems*. (*Note: The word here means "problem, doubt, question." I think the description is saying that the baby would look at others and see them as the same as everything else in the world: something that existed as his property. Therefore those that gave him nothing were confusing, were question marks, and he harbored doubts and suspicions about them as a result.)

1 ダメ DAME "Don't."

2 イタイの ITAI no "That hurts [them]."

3 母親から与えられる筈の栄養をははおやからあたえられるはずのえいようを hahaoya kara ataerareru hazu no eiyou wo The nutrition his mother should have given to him

4 ダメ DAME "Don't."

5 ほとんど兄に奪われたのでほとんどあににうばわれたので hotondo ani ni ubawareta node was largely stolen by his older brother, so

6 弟はとても小さく脆弱だったおとうとはとてもちいさくぜいじゃくだった otouto wa totemo chiisaku zeijaku datta the younger brother was very small and frail.

7 自身に何も与えない存在だったが手に持っていた所有物なのでじしんになにもあたえないそんざいだったがてにもっていたものなので jishin ni nani mo ataenai sonzai datta ga te ni motte ita mono nanode [The younger brother's] existence gave nothing to [the older brother], but [the younger brother's existence] was a possession [the older brother] held in his hands, so

8 兄は弟を決して手放そうとしなかったあにはおとうとをけっしててばなそうとしなかった ani wa otouto wo kesshite tebanasou to shinakatta the older brother tried to never let go of the younger brother.

1 ーー溝が深まる一方で"発光する赤児"が自ら先頭に立ちーーみぞがふかまるいっぽうで"はっこうするあかご"がみずからせんとうにたち --mizo ga fukamaru ippou de "hakkou suru akago" ga mizukara sentou ni tachi "--While the gap* intensified, the "luminous baby" has taken the lead" (*Note: The "gap" is referring to the rift between humans with meta abilities versus those without.)

2 平和と安全を訴えています賛同者は日増しに増加しておりーーへいわとあんぜんをうったえていますさんどうしゃはひましにぞうかしておりーー heiwa to anzen wo uttaete imasu sandousha wa hima shi ni zouka shite ori-- "to call for peace and security, with the number of supporters increasing day by day--"

3 僕に黙って何を読んでる？ぼくにだまってなにをよんでる？ boku ni damatte nani wo yonderu? "What are you reading without telling me?"

4 まだ文字の勉強中で難しい本は読めないんだけど… まだもじのべんきょうちゅうでむずかしいほんはよめないんだけど… mada moji no benkyouchuu de muzukashii hon wa yomenainda kedo... "I'm still learning letters so I can't read difficult books, but..."

5 すごいよこのコミックって本すごいよこのコミックってほん sugoi yo KOMIKKU tte hon "this comic book is amazing!"

6 絵で読めるんだえでよめるんだ e de yomerunda "I can read it by the pictures."

7 描いた人の願いが絵で伝わってくるかいたひとのねがいがえでつたわってくる kaita hito no negai ga e de tsutawatte kuru "The wishes of the person who drew it are conveyed through the pictures."

8 ヒーロー… HIIROO... "Hero..."

9-10 僕もいつかこんな風になりたいな… ぼくもいつかこんなふうになりたいな… boku mo itsu ka konna fuu ni naritai na... "I want to be like this someday too..."

11 弟はまだ兄を諦めきれなかったおとうとはまだあにをあきらめきれなかった otouto wa mada ani wo akirame kirenakatta The younger brother couldn't give up on the older brother yet.

1-2 かすかに憶えているあの手を兄の優しさだと信じたかったかすかにおぼえているあのてをあにのやさしさだとしんじたかった kasuka ni oboete iru ano te wo ani no yasashisa da to shinjitakatta He wanted to believe that hand he faintly remembers was his older brother's kindness.

3 三年後さんねんご sannengo Three years later

4 例の"発光する赤児"さぁ…あいつのシンパがとうとう1000万人を超えたんだってされいの"はっこうするあかご"さぁ…あいつのシンパがとうとう1000まんにんをこえたんだってさ rei no "hakkou suru akago" saa...aitsu no SHINPA ga toutou 1000mannin wo koetanda tte sa "Well, for example, that 'luminous baby'...they say that guy's sympathizers finally surpassed 10 million people."

5 兄さん… にいさん… niisan... "Brother..."

6 おかしいよなだってあれは戸籍登録が一番早かったってだけでおかしいよなだってあれはこせきとうろくがいちばんはやかったってだけで okashii yo na datte are wa koseki touroku ga ichiban hayakatta tte dake de "That's strange, isn't it? Since it's just because his family registration was the fastest."

7-8 インドなんかじゃその二周間前には50人は異能が産まれてたって話だぜインドなんかじゃそのにしゅうかんまえには50にんはいのうがうまれてたってはなしだぜ INDO nanka ja sono nishuukan mae ni wa 50nin wa inou ga umareteta tte hanashi da ze "They say that, in India, 50 people with meta abilities were born two weeks before that."

9 その姿はそのすがたは sono sugata wa "That appearance..." (Note: Yoichi is reacting with surprise at how AFO looks like he's been in a fight or something.)

10 おかしな話だよそんなので人を集められるなんてさおかしなはなしだよそんなのでひとをあつめられるなんてさ okashina hanashi da yo sonna node hito wo atsumerareru nante sa "It's such a strange story, that he could gather people together like that."

1 だから殺して「奪って」やっただからころして「うばって」やった dakara koroshite 「ubatte」 yatta "That's why I killed him and 'stole' [his meta ability.]"

2 ……なんで… ......nande... "......Why..."

3 だって datte "Because"

4 あのコミックに描かれていたろあのコミックにかかれていたろ ano KOMIKKU ni kakarete ita ro "it was depicted in that comic."

5 ONE FOR ALL… ワン　フォー　オール… WAN FOO OORU... "One For All..."

6 ALL FOR ONE良い言葉だよなオール　フォー　ワンいいことばだよな OORU FOO WAN ii kotoba da yo na "All For One, they're excellent words."

1 ヒーローは正体を隠して孤独に戦っていたけれどヒーローはしょうたいをかくしてこどくにたたかっていたけれど HIIROO wa shoutai wo kakushite kodoku ni tatakatte ita keredo "The hero was hiding his true identity as he fought alone, but"

2 悪の魔王は皆が恐怖して全てを差し出すんだあくのまおうはみんながきょうふしてすべてをさしだすんだ aku no maou wa minna ga kyoufu shite subete wo sashidasunda "everyone feared and offered up everything to the evil Demon King."

3 おまえがそうであるように…皆が僕の為だけに存在する世界おまえがそうであるように…みんながぼくのためだけにそんざいするせかい omae ga sou de aru you ni...minna ga boku no tame dake ni sonzai suru sekai "A world where everyone exists just for my sake...just like you do."

4 僕にも夢ができた！ぼくにもゆめができた！ boku ni mo yume ga dekita! "I was also able [to come up with] a dream!"

1 待て何故行ってしまうんだまてなぜいってしまうんだ mate naze itte shimaunda Wait, why are you leaving?

2 "力"を与えてやったじゃないか！ "ちから"をあたえてやったじゃないか！ "chikara" wo ataete yatta ja nai ka! Didn't I give you power?!

3 なんだおまえは！離れろ！なんだおまえは！はなれろ！ nanda omae wa! hanarero! What are you? Get away [from him]!

4 僕のだ僕を見ていろ！ぼくのだぼくをみていろ！ boku no da boku wo mite iro! [That's] mine, look at me!

5-6 僕のものにならないならぼくのものにならないなら boku no mono ni naranai nara If you won't become mine,

7 もうーー mou-- then--

tagline その手はー… そのてはー… sono te wa-... That hand is-...

#my hero academia leak translations #mha 407 #bnha 407 #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers #good night sleep tight #don't let the demon murder babies bite #omg afo backstory FINALLY

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incorrect-koh-posts · 2 months

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"Young Baldwin seems to have possessed a naturally strong constitution, and he was also gifted with undeniable qualities of character and a strong, lively intelligence. William of Tyre, who was his tutor, says that 'in his childhood he was very handsome, with a quick and open mind, and he rode very well, better than his forebears had done.' 'Never forgetting an injury, and still less a kindness,' he had 'a retentive memory, was well educated with an excellent memory for tales and a fondness for telling them.'

The child must have realized very early that his disease was incurable, and his reaction shows great strength of character. He wanted to forget and make everyone else forget, right up to the end, that he was sick. But by the time King Amalric died, young Baldwin's disease had made such progress that it was already beginning to show, and 'the people of the kingdom felt great grief when they looked at him.'

From 1175 onward, the regent and the barons of Jerusalem were able to count on an unexpected ally, and a more valuable one than might have at first been thought. At fourteen years the young King Baldwin emerged as an intrepid fighter, capable of leading his troops into battle and later on of commanding them personally in the field. He was seen at the side of the constable and the Count of Tripoli, riding at the head of his troops and taking part in raids and diversionary campaigns [...]. At the time the King was still too young to actually command his army, and his principal function was as a symbol and an inspiration for his men. They were all happier marching under command of their lawful King. Young though he was, he was like the flag, to be protected and followed through the thickest of the fight, and he was not afraid of personal danger. [...]

When he came to the throne, he had [...] been a leper for ten years, and although the disease did not begin to make rapid strides until puberty, it must, even in early adolescence, have weakened and exhausted him. It is unlikely that anyone would have dared to reproach him had he wished to consider himself an invalid, yet he behaved as though he were perfectly well.

He had been educated, as became a prince, by knights and masters of arms and also by churchmen [...], and these had not failed to teach him patience and prepare him for the harsh trial that was to be his life, and to arouse in him a sense of duty and pride in being, despite his infirmity, King of Jerusalem and Defender of the Holy Sepulcher. Whether as a result of education or temperament, Baldwin IV seems to have had little inclination to self-pity. The young King overcame his illness with all the determination of an adolescent who knows he is physically weak and is bent on proving to everyone, himself included, that he can equal and even surpass others. He may have been a king who had the misfortune to be a leper, but he was also a leper lucky enough to be a king.

He loved power because it was all life had to offer him, and he very early evinced a wish to govern by himself, and would not tolerate disobedience. A temperament of this kind can easily degenerate into tyranny and capriciousness in one so young, but Baldwin IV had a lively and precociously mature mind, and was sincerely concerned to do his best for the good of the kingdom; and this right up to the time when his sufferings began to drive him out of his mind. [...] Up to the last moment he wanted to be a king and a general, and he wanted to be obeyed. It was his way of clinging to life, and he was a terrible fighter."

- Zoé Oldenbourg, The Crusades (1966)

#i have been reading old books again and oldenbourg's unabashed baldwin fangirling is too delicious not to share #like girl you're supposed to be writing a history book not fanfiction #baldwin iv #historiography #kingdom of heaven 2005 #crusades #zoe oldenbourg

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