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duskyvenus · 15 days

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A flower blossoms for its own joy: How will you bloom?

A PAC about your blooming moment and how you will get there. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and choose the photo that speaks to you. 3 piles left to right. This is for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates. Feel free to check other piles if it doesn't resonate :)))

Pile 1

I'm seeing that we have some shy people here or people who put a lot of thought before saying something in the sense that they don't want to provoke someone. The message here is to be little unapologetic about certain things. You don't have to be worried about how others perceive you. "Say the weird thing!" I know this can be hard especially if you're not around the right people but the trash will take itself out if you are more open about your likes and dislikes. This is the way you will find the people that are truly meant for you, by letting go and cutting some people off. Also, I'm seeing that you need to practice gratitude and mindfulness. Keeping a journal can help. Travel to places you have always wanted to visit. The last thing that you need to do in order to "blossom" is to accept help. I get that it is nice being independent but being humans we need community. I'm not asking you to be very social and have too many friends, cuz remember the earlier point of not gaf about what other people say; yeah just do enough so that you're comfortable :) Remember that this is going to be a new chapter in your life so the key is balance. I think you can imagine your blooming moment by now. For some of you I'm seeing the presence of a significant other. This will probably be a slow burn.

Here's a moodboard for you:

Songs:

Thank you for reading!

Pile 2

I'm mainly getting the vibe that you don't take care of yourself enough. Like no skincare, self care or you're not eating healthy. I'm not asking you to follow strict regimes to become flawless, I'm just saying that maybe something's missing, some deficiency perhaps (?) idk. I also get the vibe that you are tight on money or grew up in a low income household. There's a lack of self love in this pile. You feel like you don't deserve love or that you're low maintenance because of your past relationships. (That's just not true!) The remedy for all of this is investing in yourself. You don't have to go broke looking after yourself; keep a journal, write down your thoughts, write down positive affirmations, maybe change your wardrobe (clothes carry energy), have a candle light dinner with yourself, etc. I'm also seeing that you could be really good at handicraft so maybe you should start a business. You could even be a good photographer. You just need to start posting you're a true artist! If you do things that make you happy and calm you're going to get closer to your blooming moment. You're going to have a really beautiful house. Your house will be adorned with pottery, paintings, etc. I get a self-satisfied vibe :)

Here's a moodboard for you:

Songs:

Thank you for reading!

Pile 3

I'm getting that this pile is very different from the last two. You probably have everything anybody could ask for or, you are working towards it. You are really close to blooming but that will need just a little more effort. You will bloom if you acknowledge your roots. You have to be very humble and thankful. Maybe you have lost track of your identity due to the grind and the struggle. Taking short breaks from time to time could be a good idea. You will bloom when you include others into your plans. Try giving gifts to friends just because. Tell them that you are glad to have them in your life. Go camping or hiking, reconnect with nature. For some of you I'm seeing an ancestor that protects you because you remind them of themselves :)) Apart from this I see that you're good at your job and leave on the dot which may have ruffled the feathers of a few people. But you don't have to worry about that. Just be your usual self. "Your coworkers can very rarely be your friends so make time for the friends that you already have." - words from your ancestor. I see you happy and smiling in your blooming moment. Shaking hands with important people, doing what you love to do :)) Your ancestors and spirit guides are smiling too <3

Hers's a moodboard for you:

Songs:

Thank you for reading!

#pick a card #pick a pile #intuitive readings #divination #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #psychic readings #tarot community #duskyvenus

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arikazu · 3 months

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Red lingerie | Hwang Hyunjin

Hyunjin birthday special

Summary : in which you give your first time as a birthday gift to Hyunjin.

My Felix ff

Will probably make a part 2

Genre : fluff, smut, doggy style style dick riding and little angst

Minors don't interact

First time writing smut don't laugh I know it's hard anyways happy birthday to our prince may God bless him from all the evil and give him a long and healthy life.

the slow day in Seoul was slowly coming to a close and the heat wasn’t helping anything either. It was late afternoon now and the street corner was already packed full of people. The air was hot and humid. They were all drinking beer or iced coffee as the sun lowered into the horizon of the city skyline. They looked tired but their smiles were warm and genuine.

you were trying to find the best nightwear for to wear today was his day! "mmh hyunjin will like red color or black one?" you debated it was the fifth lingerie you throwed away in the laundry basket. you sighed again, your mind going back to that fateful night when you met him for the first time. you didn't know what had gotten into you back then. maybe because he caught you by surprise at such an opportune moment in your life? or maybe because he really did look so good in his oversized hoodies that night? whatever the case.

you loved this man today was his first birthday with you as a couple and he deserves everything that you give him. even if it means wearing nothing more than lingerie for hours on end, no matter how much he complains about it. "yes, yes," you said aloud to yourself. you picked another piece of lace out of the drawer "let's do red then..."

hyunjin was in the living room sipping on a glass of wine and watching tv. he had just finished a long day of work where the only thing he wanted is some peace and quiet to get through this week.

his phone rang Felix was calling . Hyunjin answered it with the phone held up between both hands and the wine glass balanced on his thigh. he heard Felix talking over the other side of the line. he could hear something about "your favorite dongsaeng" and then Hyunjin laughed softly. he knew Felix would be excited.

"what is it Felix?" he asked in English. he couldn't help but laugh, knowing Felix was excited at this moment too. hyunjin felt giddy inside knowing he was doing the same right now.

"birthday dinner right now!" Felix screamed from the other side of the line. "come on hyunjin let's go!"

"what about y/n?" hyunjin asked looking back at the bedroom door. he wondered if she was busy with work or something else.

"come on we boys will celebrate " Felix shouted once more, "now hurry up!" before he hung up the phone. Hyunjin chuckled, he was so lucky to have friends like these.

he put his drink down on the coffee table "hey love" hyunjin mumbled as he entered their shared room . he walked up behind her, kissing your neck lightly.

hyunjin laughed "why are you wearing a big jacket"

he said as he hugged you from behind. "and your hair looks beautiful. I'm glad i got to see you today." he continued stroking her back in a soothing rhythm, his hand tracing small circles into your skin."thanks to you, my beautiful woman," he kissed her cheek gently.

you smirked and pushed him onto the bed . "you're not the only one who is thankful for this day." you told him pulling off your coat as well

."i am...but i hope you have something special planned tonight because you sure as hell deserve the world,"

hyunjin , smiling widely at you."baby I love you so much and I haven't brought a gift for you yet but I want this to be a memorial night"

you smiled softly at him. your eyes were shimmering under the bright lights of the lamp, shining with pure happiness. you never took your eyes off of him."I'm so lucky to call you mine and i want this to be our last night together for the rest of our lives. i don't think i've ever been happier than in this second."

hyunjin sat up, straddling you as he cupped your face. his thumbs traced over your jawline slowly."i love you so damn much y/n. there won't ever be a part of me that isn't grateful for everything you've done for me. i wish you'd stayed with me forever and always, even if it meant we'll never grow old"

you kissed his hand "we have years ahead of us to grow old together. you can hold my hands and tell me that I have the most beautiful eyes." you smiled at him."i promise I'll cherish every precious second i spend with you. "

hyunjin cupped your face. your eyes were filled with affection for each other "i don't care if we live for 100 years, even if it means we won't see any sunrise, i wouldn't change a single thing about the day we spent together. i love you y/n "

you slowly opened your zipper and reveal the red lingerie underneath your clothes that was still wrapped around your waist. you removed the bra and threw it at the edge of the bed and pulled your dress up until your legs were exposed. you grabbed his wrists, pushing them above his head. "you better appreciate this," you said as you unzipped your pants letting them fall to the floor along with your panties.

"i am." hyunjin answered in a deep voice while grabbing your waist tightly, lifting you from the ground and tossing you on top of the bed. he pressed himself closer to you and started kissing every inch of exposed skin on your body. hyunjin placed soft kisses on your stomach making you shiver. he kept moving upward until finally, your legs were tangled together.

your breathing came heavier as he caressed your thighs. "you feel so good baby.""you know you can come whenever you want." hyunjin whispered against you. his lips traveled up your stomach as he reached your breasts. "you can be loud as you please, i like to listen to you scream."

"please be gentle it's my first time" you begged softly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he nuzzled his nose in your cleavage. "don't make me wait anymore" he murmured while biting on one of your nipples you moaned loudly, arching your back slightly as he sucked your hardened nipple into his mouth.

"hyunjin stop teasing please i beg of you." you pleaded softly as he moved his hand between your legs "just fuck me please-" he groaned.

his teeth nipping hard on your sensitive spot making you whimper and writhe under his touch. "baby i want to taste you so bad." he murmured. he ran his fingers over your entrance teasingly. "but i need to taste you first." he added, licking his lips as he eyed your clit.

hyunjin's tongue dipped in and licked your wet folds in one fluid movement. he teased you gently before licking his way up to your core and pinching the flesh between his thumb and index finger. he began flicking his middle finger in and out of you, making you moan in pleasure.

he bit your breast harshly, causing you to cry out loud. you felt your orgasm starting to build and you gripped onto his shoulders tightly.

Hyunjin continued his torture for a few moments longer before sucking on your clit. you were about to reach the peak of your orgasm when his hand stopped moving. "ahhhh shit!"

you gasped as pain coursed through your insides making your whole body ache with every passing second of your release.

hyunjin watched you as you tried to catch your breath. he chuckled darkly before he placed small kisses along your belly button. He was now kneeling beside your naked body with his eyes glued to your chest.

"this feels fucking amazing" he groaned as he rubbed his nose into your stomach. he placed light kiss after kiss to your belly button making your knees wobble and shake.

hyunjin looked up at your face, his gaze filled with lust. "that is definitely a lot easier for me to say then i thought it would be."

hyunjin pulled you and placed you on his cock . he positioned himself so that he could enter you fully while his hands were firmly placed on your hips, keeping you steady and upright. your back arched as your ass started bouncing up and down in anticipation of what was coming next. the friction of your slick wetness against your asshole made him gasp out loud. your movements were quick and fast all at the same time.

"baby...wait for it" you cried out in frustration.

hyunjin nodded "of course" he replied "keep going baby"

"oh god!" you exclaimed in between gasps. your fingernails were digging into hyunjins shoulder blades as he drove deeply into you. he held you by your hips tightly.

"i love how tight you are for me" hyunjin muttered as he kissed you on the neck.

the pace picked up a little more. hyunjin started to speed up the thrusts of his hips. your toes curled, your nails digging deeper into his skin, your head was thrown back and you were trying not to scream and just focus on staying awake.

"oh god hyunjin you're killing me baby..." you moaned

as soon as he said that you were on your deathbed. you knew that he could do this but you didn't know how much you would enjoy it or how hard you were gonna climax with this man inside of you.

"god damn hyunjin.."

you grunted, "you make me crazy...you are killing me" you moaned out loudly as your orgasm ripped through you like an electric shock.

hyunjin grunted with satisfaction as he too reached his climax, filling you with his cum. "damn...fuck..."

he panted and leaned on your chest.

your eyes rolled up into the back of your head as another wave of euphoria washed over you and you felt yourself falling asleep. your mind was completely blank at that moment as your body went limp.

"who said we are sleeping" hyunjin groaned and pulled your ass towards himself, throwing you over his lap.

"what are you doing baby?" you asked confused as he pinned you down by putting one hand on the bed to hold yourself up while the other reached down to your thong, removing the lace underwear.

"i want to be inside you again" he whispered seductively.

your ass in front of him as he came from behind you making you moan loudly.

"come here"

you crawled forward so your front was right in front of him and his hard erection was resting perfectly on your entrance. you bit down on your bottom lip as hyunjin pushed himself inside you slowly.

he was careful and slow in driving himself inside of you. once he had fully entered you

you immediately tightened around him.

"fuck! you feel so good." Hyunjin breathed deeply. his left hand moved to your breast and pinched it roughly, sending pleasure radiating throughout your entire body. your muscles tensed up, tightening his shaft even further in you.

"i'm gonna come in you and then i'm gonna push myself back out, okay?"

he warned. you hummed in reply signaling that you understood.

"you're perfect, y/n. just the way you are" hyunjin groaned as he slid himself deeper inside of you.

your eyes squeezed shut as you tried not to scream out loud at the incredible feeling. you clutched onto the sheets desperately.

"yes yes yes"

Hyunjin increased his pace. you dug your nails into his shoulder, trying to hold yourself in place but it was useless. "I'M COMING Y/N" he roared as his release took control of his body.

a strong wind blew through the room, bringing everything around you crashing to the ground and shattering into pieces.

he was a beast hyunjin was getting faster and faster eachtime. You could already feel the intense burning sensation on your core and you clenched your fist, gripping your own hair tighter and harder until your fingers turned white. "HYUNJIN"

hyunjin's eyes snapped open and his eyes focused directly on yours. he grinned mischievously. "did you hear it too princess?" he chuckled

darkly. "did you hear us? does that mean that

are going to be mine?" he smirked before slamming his face into yours.

he was relentless, taking his sweet time. It seemed like forever since you last felt him inside of you. Your hands roamed up his chest, tracing circles on his bare skin making his head turn slightly.

the moonlight illuminated the room and your faces contorted in pleasure.

"so beautiful" he groaned as his fingers brushed over your breasts.

"so sexy hyunjin"

he buried his face in between your breasts moaning as he pounded relentlessly into your core. "i missed being inside you like this, i missed the sound of your moans, i missed watching your expression."

you smiled as you snuggled up to him , pressing a kiss to his neck and shoulder. "so did I."

hyunjin smiled "this was the best birthday gift ever"

you giggled at his words and pulled his ear lobe into your mouth playfully "oh yeah? why is that?"

"because i get to see you looking like a mess and having fun at the same time" he growled lowly, pulling on your nipple making you squeal happily.

"we just had a round!"you chuckled.

"but a birthday boy gets everything he wants" he replied smugly and you blushed lightly as he tugged your bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling gently on it.

"yeah, well, you know what they say" you smirked playfully.

"a birthday boy will get his pretty doll all fucked up and messed up"he smirked as he slipped both hands down your thighs. he cupped your cheeks and kissed you, letting go of your lips only to move them down your jawline and across your chest.

after all it was Hwang Hyunjin birthday and it was the best present he could get.

it was his girlfriend

she was his gift.

you were his gift .

You were his everything, the one thing that made the world around you a little better, that made the world brighter and you were his everything and there was nothing he wouldn't do to protect you.

"how could someone so beautiful ever have something like that happen to me"

"haha baby boy you deserve the world" you smiled as he brushed his hands against yours.

you intertwined your fingers, interlocking your pinkies together. he brought your left hand up to his lips and planted soft kisses on it. his touch sent shivers throughout your body.

"you are my beautiful princess." he whispered softly.

you smiled, looking into his eyes. "thank you."

"no problem my queen”

His eyes were close and you were ruffling his hair somewhere his phone was ringing Felix was calling for the dinner party but little did the sunshine knew that hyunjin already has his dinner and the best birthday gift and it was you.

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The red lingerie and you were the perfect gift.

"On that night of March you gave me your first time

My heart was beating faster that day when I touched you and kissed every inch of your sky that red lingerie still carries your smell and is lying in my closet"

Hwang hyunjin 20.3.24

Y/n You are still there right?

Hey you made me fall in love

I wish I could spend my future birthday with you

I guess our forever was lie.

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stomach-bugg09 · 1 year

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summary: [y/n] has always been an angry girl. why wouldn't she be ready to fight any avatar that puts their hands in her siblings?

sully family x sully!reader

a/n: i just did this one for fun because i wanted one where she's an absolute boss and a half. love her !! remember , reqs are open and waiting. i probably won't write anymore fali x [y/n] stuff unless i get specific reqs because they're really difficult to write without direct inspo and ideas. once again , motivation is really important to keep me writing , so please comment feedback + reblog !! i would seriously appreciate it. ( also , for some odd reason my two most recent works have barely gotten any interaction -- idk if that's just bc tumblr is being a problem , or if it's because fali has lost his magic touch ( which if so , i completely get it ) , but if you guys could help me out to try and figure out what's going on ?? )

warnings: violence, guns, fighting, weapons, death, killing

tags: @rafeslovergirl @wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @itssiaaax @grierpilots @23victoria @nyotamalfoy @gcldtom @eywas-heir @historygeekqueen @missroro @sweetheart-bo

angry spirit

nobody quite understood the rage that naturally flowed through the veins of the women in the sully family. nobody quite understood the urge to protect that seemed to be carried between each and every one of the children that jake and neytiri shared and adored together. nobody quite understood… not until they experienced it themselves.

and trust me, plenty of people have experienced it, humans and na’vi alike. even from a young age, there were times where one of the kids were ( one-hundred and ten percent ) willing to fight another kid if it meant they would stop picking on their siblings.

luckily — of perhaps unluckily, depending on the perspective — that shared agreement only seemed to get stronger with age. as the relationships between each kid developed, as more seemed to join the family in general, there was a camaraderie between the five sully kids. even tuk, just a tiny thing herself, was well aware of her willingness to risk her own life if it meant she could save her sisters and brothers.

that being said, there was absolutely no way any of her older siblings would ever let that slide, but it was a sweet sentiment on its own.

even though this habitual response seemed to run through every sully’s blood, it was strongest in the eldest girl.

being neteyam’s twin — younger by just a few minutes — allowed for [y/n] to balance him out. while he had the expectations of future olo’eyktan on his shoulders from the moment he graced pandora with his birth, [y/n] was a freer spirit.

she was also a much more angry spirit.

not that she held fury against every person she interacted with, but [y/n] wasn’t scared of disliking anyone. she also wasn’t scared of letting them know that she didn’t like them; a blessing and a curse, the sully family often called it.

but it stemmed further than that. it ran stronger than that.

from a young age, jake taught his oldest daughter how to channel her anger much healthier. what did jake sully consider a healthy outlet? well, fighting, of course.

so, the sully child that’d been this close to fighting another kid in lo’ak’s honor? yeah, that was [y/n].

not to mention her iknimaya — the rite of passage that quite possibly boosted this girl’s ego far too high. she deserved it, though. not many young na’vis could complete the event in such little time, especially against the pain that her ikran was.

he was a bitter fellow, similar to his spirit sister. angry at the world for every little thing and always ready for a fight. they truly were connected in every possible way.

but, her iknimaya was physical evidence that fighting fire with fire never worked. the truth was that one flame had to overcome the other — one flame had to envelop the other. it was just a matter of which flame was stronger.

[y/n] knew from the moment she locked eyes and that joyful, adrenaline-filled grin blessed her face that she would win.

thank eywa she believed in herself, because neytiri and jake nearly lost all of their faith at the sight of the monster that towered over the young girl.

another notable moment — or perhaps a series of moments — of her oh-so optimistic and joyful personality was prompted by her very own father. if there was one thing that the oldest daughter was confident in, it was her father’s love. she knew that he loved her — loved all of them — and that made it extremely easy for her to argue with him on any topic she disagreed with.

as annoying as it happened to be to jake, neytiri loved that she was raising a strong woman. it often reminded her of herself at a young age.

but, every single one of those stories were child’s play compared to the raw anger that surged through her body when her and her siblings’ lives were held under knife and gunpoint.

[y/n], the original rebel and inspiration for lo’ak’s ‘admirable’ choices, was happy to join the crew on their adventure through the jungle. with lo’ak grounded from flying due to his choices just the other night, he’d practically begged his older sister to join them.

they were partners in crime, afterall.

once neteyam decided to become all responsible and stuff ( not that [y/n] blamed him… but it was disappointing ), [y/n] and lo’ak seemed to have magnetized toward each other, although that might be a sign to turn the other way and run as fast and as far as you can.

either way, [y/n] found herself exploring the similar jungle scene alongside all of her siblings minus neteyam and with the additional presence of spider.

as soon as the familiar scene turned not-so familiar, it seemed that [y/n] had a feeling. a feeling that something was wrong, that something else was creeping. she should have listened to her gut.

and that same thought resurfaced as soon as the stomach-dropping view of the avatars overcame her view from the bushes.

it was only once said avatars put their hands on her baby siblings that the familiar settled, bubbling beneath her thick layers of skin. it was only when [y/n] fell into an eerie silence and state of pure calm that every other sully sibling felt their own fear.

even as tuk squirmed and cried against the bruising grip of the avatar’s, even as kiri cried out at the sharp knife edge against her throat, even as spider fought his restraints, even as lo’ak stared into the terrifying eyes of the same man that had nearly killed his father…

[y/n] stayed perfectly compliant. stuck on her knees, queue throbbing at the feeling of her opponent tugging it, [y/n] merely stared straight at quaritch. silently, her urge to fight was building, and everybody that knew her was perfectly aware. and ready.

she ran her tongue smoothly against her fangs, eyes narrowed straight at the man that threatened the lives of her siblings.

a solid thirty minutes had already passed, eclipse coming quicker than [y/n] would’ve preferred. she just had to hope that, without being used to their forest and bodies, the avatar’s didn’t have the same keen night vision as she did.

“you okay there, kid?” the avatar teased, attempting to startle her with his threatening voice. he tugged her braid, nearly drawing a hiss from deep within her rib cage, but she held it back. he seemed to be bothered with the fact that her eyes hadn’t once left the body of their colonel.

but, for once, she drifted her gaze to meet her perpetrator and summoned english for his benefit. “ask again in a few minutes.”

and, almost as if [y/n] could feel the presence of her parents, a familiar bird call echoed through the nighttime breeze. her ears pressed back against her head in shock before she quickly recovered and flashed an innocent smile to the avatar.

he merely grunted, pulling her braid one last time for good measure, and looked back up at quaritch.

now, she just had to be patient. she could do that. well, as long as she got what she wanted in the end, and that was a good fight. she deserved it after letting the chains rub back and forth against her wrists, eating at her skin through the friction.

that being said, as soon as her mother’s signal became clear, she straightened up and locked eyes with lo’ak. a discreet nod was enough between them. grab tuk and go. she knew kiri and spider would handle themselves.

plus, the extra connection between spider and quaritch was just another layer of protection for her baby sister. perhaps it was a terrible way of thinking, but [y/n] wouldn’t dwindle too much on it. the urge to survive had its faults, afterall.

and finally, once neytiri’s arrow soared through the air, it was go time.

while lo’ak and tuk bit the arms of their restraining avatars, lo’ak also doubling duty and releasing whatever gas canisters had been accessible on the guy’s belt, kiri and spider were lucky enough to be given a chance to run as soon as the avatars lifted their guns.

[y/n] liked to do it the hard way, though.

she swung her legs in a swift motion, wrapping them around the avatar’s. she weighed his bottom half, keeping him from being able to move far, and in a split second, neytiri’s arrow was embedded in his chest.

[y/n] let go, scrambling to her feet and up the nearest tree, finding a moment of solace nested in the upper branches. she could see everything, and they couldn’t see her — she was a master of disguise and hiding, if anything.

and then, it seemed the world went a few clicks quieter, gunfire calming down just a tad. one scan of the scene, and [y/n] knew it was because they’d lost sight of her siblings.

“the kids are gone.” a voice crackled through the walkie strapped to a dead avatar’s chest at the base of the tree, the small noise quiet against the chaotic scene. [y/n] was merely lucky she was in little enough of a proximity to even catch the words.

“what do you mean gone?” quaritch. she could tell from his stingy accent and infuriating pronunciation of vowels.

a beat of quiet against more raining gunfire. “the boy and youngest girl ran off. tarzan and the other girl split to the opposite direction.”

“which other girl?” [y/n] felt a familiar smile on her face.

“what do you mean —”

quaritch was angry, and [y/n] couldn’t help but find pure enjoyment from the scene. little did he know that the young na’vi girl could now see him from her spot in the tree, eyes narrowed on the colonel hunched behind a fallen log.

“there are two girls. one of ‘em quiet and useless, the other looks like her devil of a mother.” the same mother that managed to kill him the first time.

[y/n]’s eyes focused on the demon in na’vi skin, watching his face contort at the familiar arrow pierced in the wood beside him. it was almost as if he’d conjured her very own “devil of a mother” into existence. “seems that very mother might be in attendance this fine evening.”

[y/n] scrunched her nose in disgust, her skin crawling at his words. she really could not stand him. but, her attention was quickly pulled back to reality when he dropped the walkie and called into the open air, all while reloading his gun, “that you, mrs. sully? i recognize your calling card.”

instantly, [y/n]’s head whipped around, locating the exact tree in which her mother hid behind. unfortunately, [y/n] was a few feet away and at the worst possible angle to help.

“why don’t you come on out, mrs. sully?” quaritch continued, and [y/n]’s eyes followed a different avatar that began to creep past the colonel. “you’n i, we got some… unfinished business.”

“demon!” neytiri’s voice caused panic to spike in the young na’vi’s heart, blood pumping with adrenaline. “i will kill you as many times as i have to.”

it was only when [y/n] looked back at quaritch that she noticed the other avatar was missing. a million different curse words rattled deep within her brain, eyes widening in fear.

meanwhile, quaritch would not be distracted from his tangent. “i guess you an’ the corporal have been pretty… busy, haven’t ya? got yourself a whole litter of… half-breeds.”

what could she do?

as quickly and as silently as she could, [y/n] scrambled through the wet tree branches, cursing herself every time her feet lost grip. nerves added up with rain never helped.

at the very last second, [y/n] reached a spot in which she could just barely see her mom. well, her mom, and the avatar that had a gun aimed right at her. just as [y/n] opened her mouth and prepared to scream a distraction, an arrow flew right through the avatar’s body.

gunfire followed almost immediately after, and her dangerous balance finally lost way, causing the girl to topple from her position and into the muddy ground below.

[y/n] was quick to stand up — she had to be — but the scene was not a pretty sight to behold.

she was surrounded. surrounded by three different avatars, each with their own weapon that could quite easily hurt her, if not kill her on the spot. she just prayed that, if they did manage to get to her, she could make them scream first.

[y/n] knew she would. it was always just a matter of mentality, right?

and so, as if the clock slowed down just for her, [y/n]’s eyes flashed around her and gauged every detail possible. the machine gun, loaded and prepared ( although she had noticed that it was already halfway empty ), in the hands of the avatar to her right, the two knives ready in the hands of the avatar to her left, and the last avatar just in front of her. nothing but his fists.

a smile surfaced.

she could deal with that.

and then, before the rest of her body returned to the consciousness of time, her feet began to move. [y/n] lifted her arms so she could see her wrists — still wrapped in chains — and she leapt upwards.

her long legs gave her a higher jump, bringing her and her hands to the perfect height to wrap her chains around the weaponless avatar’s neck. she swung herself around, legs hooking his torso as she tugged with every bit of strength she could muster.

at the chaotic sounds around her, [y/n] knew that bullets were being fired now. lucky for her, she had her very own personal shield, but that meant the tree she was choking was about to go timber.

once she felt the warm splatters of his blood against her stomach, she knew she only had a matter of time before getting squished under a dead man’s weight. [y/n] shifted her weight, unhooking her legs and placing her feet on his hips very carefully.

[y/n] kept her ears aware at all times as she leapt up and off of the now dead avatar, pushing him onto the ground with her jump. her ears moved vigilantly, picking up the sounds of the bullets just before they were shot so she could move just in time to avoid any casualties.

and then her favorite sound rang through the air. an empty cartridge.

at that, her infamous smirk surfaced as she locked eyes with the now useless avatar.

now, behind her, the third avatar with the knives thought she was being slick, creeping behind her with both weapons raised to stab her in the back.

luckily, [y/n] was far too aware and far too pissed to miss such an important detail.

just as the third avatar broke through stabbing distance, [y/n] whirled around and disarmed her in a quick movement. both knives flew into the air, and she swiftly grabbed each of them.

each blade found their own homes embedded in the chests of her enemies

and then, just like that, she’d won.

[y/n] huffed for air, three dead avatars laying around her feet. blood pooled, swirling in an overwhelming pool of maroon. and none of it was hers.

#avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #neteyam sully #loak sully #sully family x reader #sully family x y/n #tuk sully #tuktirey #sully family #kiri sully #sully!reader #sully kids #sully family x platonic!reader #lo'ak x sister!reader #neteyam x sister!reader

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prince-liest · 3 months

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since you acknowledged vox and valentino as a uh. less than healthy relationship (lol) several times (going feral over what vox was implying in that latest 666 fic), do you think there's ever the chance of alastor feeling... probably not protective haha but maybe possessive over vox the next time he's a little banged up? alternatively, how else do you think alastor would react if whatever they were getting up to is halted by vox nursing some kind of injury from one of his and val's fights? - ✨

I think it really depends on how Vox presents the situation, to be honest! They, uh, bang each other up a lot themselves, hahaha, and Alastor doesn't really register it as problematic. A lot of writing 666 is balancing the idea that these guys are living an existence where the a real life normal-meter really can't accurately be applied, and also maintaining that they still do have personal boundaries and lines that might be crossed.

A reminder of some (but not all) of the fucked up things that Vox and Alastor have done to each other over the course of 666:

One murder attempt that Vox didn't draw a line in the sand over

Vox got annoyed and slapped Alastor across the face hard enough to knock him down, with no warning or prelude, in a sexual context

Vox slammed Alastor's skull into the ground, out of anger, several times until he was dazed and bleeding

Alastor literally tried to eat a chunk of Vox's shoulder, most likely resulting in the reverse of the scenario you're describing: Vox having to take it easier with Val because he has a gaping shoulder wound courtesy of Alastor and can't lift his arm

About three dozen bucketfuls of severely under-negotiated and sometimes not-at-all negotiated edgeplay (as in, not safe-sane-consensual) kink from both ends, including but not limited to: choking (via hands and via dick), fearplay, deliberate boundary-crossing wrt touch, hypnosis, painplay, bloodplay, wounding, and gaslighting for the purpose of humiliation

Like, Vox asking "I want to make sure I didn't cross any boundaries!" in the second 666 fic does not in any way absolve him of having deliberately crossed about thirty of them immediately prior, and the fact that Alastor enjoyed it is mostly just because Alastor is also fucked up. Some people seemed quite surprised at Alastor crossing so many boundaries in the wireplay fic compared to all the shit Vox had pulled prior to that point, and I think it's because he, unlike Vox, didn't pay lip service to it, though they both do about the same amount of actual "keeping an eye on things".

Them caring about each other does not mean that their concept of "boundaries" or even "okay things to do to another person in an intimate setting or otherwise" aren't very, very colored by them being demonic overlords who live in hell and haven't so much as waved 'hello' to a single healthy intimate relationship in the past hundred years.

Vox having to take a breather because he has some kind of injury from Val is, unless he's actively making a 'this is fucked up and I'm opening up to be vulnerable and unhappy about it' kind of deal about it, is not really going to ping on Alastor's radar as a problem.

And Vox isn't going to make that kind of deal about it because that isn't how he sees his relationship with Valentino. Yes, Val often treats Vox in abusive ways in 666. That is also colored by both of them being demonic overlords who live in hell, and Vox treats certain aspects of it as frustrating and upsetting (and often takes that out on Valentino - hence the frequent off-again-on-again nature of their relationship), but he doesn't actually, like, see their relationship the way that we do.

He loves Val. Val loves him. To him, the rest is either normal overlord behavior or their own damage, and they've found a balance where the general response to a shitty happening is, "Eh, we've worked through worse."

TL;DR: Valentino, Vox, and Alastor all need to have "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!" stapled across their foreheads. To paraphrase Bay: They're in hell. The insane acts of violence are basically a love language at this point.

#ask #personal #sparkle anon #666 live on air #my writing #cw abuse #cw violence #cw intimate partner violence #cw cannibalism #long post #hazbin hotel #radiostatic #staticmoth #staticmoth are gonna be “off again” in the next installation and Vox is going to be SO soppy about it

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neptune-scythe · 4 months

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Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?

Hear me out

Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously

But here's the thing

They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad

My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.

And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.

Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)

N E WAY

Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀

I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit

Anyway

JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.

Now back to Inej and Harij.

Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.

Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math

OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

Harij is Inej's younger brother

So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.

And also consider

Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.

He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.

Because real talk her

Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping

But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.

So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.

He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.

I rest my case

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Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡

(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???

So yeah

About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.

It's like this

Brother dies

Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.

And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.

But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.

Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.

And real talk here

Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.

If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.

BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.

And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.

That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol

Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)

#grishaverse #six of crows #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #dirtyhands #the bastard of the barrel #the wraith #kanej #kaz x inej #kaz and inej #kanej headcanon #kaz and inej headcanon #kaz brekker headcanon #inej ghafa headcanon

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arvandus · 5 months

Note

barbatos headcanons sfw or nsfw? totally fine if not <3 i love anything you write for barbatos <3

Ohhhh man, so many headcanons considering how much space he takes up in my brain. Most of it centers around relationships and, by proxy, NSFW stuff. It ties into what I recall of canon material, but take it with a grain of salt since I haven't finished the OG game yet (I'm on lesson 42 right now). I'm just going to put SOME of them since I have so many. Also, some of these will probably sound more like character analysis than headcanons.

WARNING: MINORS AND AGELSS BLOGS DNI; THIS POST CONTAINS 18+ CONTENT. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT FOLLOW ME!

My Humble Barbatos Thoughts:

General stuff (SFW):

He smells like warm bread and spices due to all the baking/cooking he does and the tea he grows and brews.

When Asmo painted his and Diavolo's nails to match the brothers (per Diavolo's request), Barbatos let Diavolo choose his nail color for him.

His biggest worry is the mistakes of his past coming back to haunt him by inadvertently impacting Diavolo's reputation by association. If Barbatos's past sins became public knowledge, he would worry about how the Devildom might view him and how that would impact Diavolo.

Because of how incredibly old he is, and the way he seemed to come into Sol's life when he was a teenager (if I recall correctly?), and came into Diavolo's life when he was also young, I see his relationships with them as almost parental/guardian (at least initially).

Which means he probably doesn't really have any truly balanced/equal relationships with those around him, which can cause him to be somewhat isolated. He's there for others, but he's not very willing to let others reciprocate. He believes he needs to handle all of his troubles/worries on his own.

I can see his dynamic with Diavolo evolving into a more equal/balanced friendship over time, the parental/guardian dynamic falling away as he let's go of his protective role. I think this has already happened with Sol, since they seem more friends/equals than father/son (e.g., he allows Sol to have power over him not just in pact, but also with his grimoire); Diavolo is harder because Barbatos still sees the young prince as his responsibility (plus Dia is always trying to sneak out like a teenager 😂).

Barbatos has a LOT of talents and interests; he may be very proper and well-mannered, but he's been around for a LONG time. Canon things we've learned about him so far: he likes heavy metal music, he likes classical music, he is great at ice skating, fangol, and chess; he kills it at cross-dressing and dancing... he's a very diverse individual which tells me he did and tried probably literally everything when he was younger.

He's 10/10 middle-aged adult energy now. He's done everything, experimented with all the things, and now he just wants stability. He's still got some spunk to him and will engage in fun activities (especially for the sake of others), but if he had his way, I think he'd want to relax with his tea, his gardens, and his walks under the stars.

Relationship/Intimacy (including NSFW):

He had plenty of lovers earlier on in his life, but he didn't exactly have a lot of emotional intimacy. He's always been the oldest demon, and when he was younger, that simple fact made him arrogant and he saw himself as always being above others. It drove an invisible wedge between himself and those around him.

He's a greed demon, so I imagine that in the beginning he was more emotionally charged and selfishly motivated.

He has literally tried every kink under the sun moon. Young Barbatos was kinkier, hornier, meaner (due to his arrogance), and likely was not a very healthy individual to engage in relations with. Probably had lots of red flags. Was very free-spirited (our boy was hopping timelines will-nilly);

Young Barb had fuckboi energy, but in a quiet, intelligent sort of way (if that makes sense). He was hard to resist, yet very much untouchable.

As time passed, he mellowed out but also became more reserved. This made emotional intimacy even harder, and sexual escapades grew boring after a while.

Young Barbatos certainly got around, but he only truly fell in love once. But he had to leave that person behind when he made the decision to go back and fix his mistakes. He still thinks about them to this day.

In the past, when he saw the consequences of his recklessness and how it had impacted those he cared about (Dia, Sol) he had a change of heart and devoted himself to fixing his mistakes and to be in service of others before himself.

It may seem endearing and like excellent character growth; which it is, to a point. But it's also reactionary to the harm he caused. Barbatos sees his passions and desires as something toxic, something negative. As such, he sees them as being something that needs to be bottled up and controlled at all times.

Which makes it so much harder to fall in love, and when he does fall in love, it will scare him, because he feels that pull of selfishness, of wanting purely for the sake of wanting it. He has yet to figure out how to find balance within himself (i.e., trust himself), to allow himself to want without letting it consume him, and to give without self-deprivation.

Monogamous or poly? I could see it going either way, although I see him leaning more towards monogamous. It's the greed and also how he isolates himself; letting in one person would be hard, letting in more than one, especially to the same extent, would be nearly impossible. He's a VERY private person.

But poly can also work as long as its established that the relationship is exclusive between him and his partners (no open relationships/flings with outsiders). Poly might also be nice for him in that he can take comfort in knowing that his partners are there for each other when his work keeps him away from them (i.e., he'd hate for his monogamous partner to be alone all the time).

Either way, mono or poly, Barbatos does not like to share. It's the greed in him. They're his, and no one else's.

Barbatos would be very VERY resistant to entering a relationship in the present time mainly because he's dedicated himself to Diavolo. He knows his partner would not be able to be his top priority no matter how much he loves them, and not many people would be okay with that.

Barbatos used to be very sexually promiscuous in his younger years, but now he's completely closed off simply because has a reputation to protect for Diavolo. He doesn't want any jilted lovers/ex-lovers to try to cause trouble for the Prince of the Devildom simply to get back at Barbatos. Also, the man has no time for shenanigans.

If someone does manage to worm their way into his heart, it would be very slowly, over many years without him noticing until he suddenly realizes one day that he'd be lost without them. It'd be jarring for him, to say the least.

Barbatos is canonically VERY romantic. He's a giver, and his love language is acts of service. That includes not only errands/duties/chores/meals/dates, but also physical acts of service (massages, orgasms, etc.).

Loves LOVES to give oral. He loves making his lover(s) putty in his hands (think service dom).

Lots of kissing. So so much kissing. He's gonna worship every inch with his mouth and tongue.

Definitely does have a kinky side, but it only comes out to play with someone he really REALLY trusts.

He'd be down for nearly everything. Bondage, anal, edging, etc. He can even be a mean dom if you ask him really nicely (he needs to believe you REALLY want it before he lets that old side of himself come out to play); however, the only things I can see him having a hard no on would be anything in a public space where there's a chance of being seen/caught (remember he's worried about reputation) and hard degradation via name-calling (sorry, I just can't picture it - he'd respect his partner too much regardless of whatever nasty kinky stuff they do together).

Will most definitely use his tail on himself and his partner(s).

If his lover is human, he'd be constantly keeping himself (and his strength) in check out of fear of hurting them.

He'd be big on consent. He's a master at reading body language; the slightest hint of distress and he's stopping everything immediately. He's not one to lose himself in the moment.

However, this doesn't mean he doesn't have the capacity to be passionate; it's just that his passion can be a bit strong, so he's always worried about overwhelming his partner. But if his partner can handle it, then it'd open up an entirely different side of him.

Despite his capacity for kinky shenanigans, Barbatos's favorite type of intimacy with his partner will be more vanilla and filled with lots of love and affection. So think lazy oral on the bed or couch in the privacy of his room, missionary so he can see your face and feel your legs wrap around him, and you in his lap so he can let you have control and wrap his arms tight around you.

Barbatos is the KING OF AFTERCARE. Baths, tea, cakes, warm blankets, firelight, soft touches, gentle massages, kisses to your cheeks, your temples... and very heartfelt verbal confessions of his love for you.

Will snuggle you tightly after all is said and done.

Loves watching you sleep while he holds you in his arms.

He'd never say it out loud because he doesn't want to burden you, but getting up early each morning and leaving your warmth is the most painful, torturous thing for him.

#arvandus answers #oh god #oh jesus #this got so big I'm so sorry #a;sldfkajd;s #you opened up a can of worms anon #and ALL OF THE HYPERFIXATION SPILLED OUT #barbatos obey me #obey me barbatos #barbatos #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb #barbatos x mc #barbatos x you #barbatos x reader #barbatos x y/n #barbatos headcanons #obey me headcanons

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alexandra-emerson · 3 months

Text

Some Thoughts

(For readers horrified by what’s been going on in fandom who want to help)

Twats

I’m sad that some authors have been pulling their works from AO3, though I totally get it. But I’m not going to add to the “don’t sell fanfics” commentary much. I’m working with a lawyer to get mine taken down from Etsy, and it sucks, but I think this is an opportunity to talk about the fandom community as a whole. Specifically, what you can do to keep it alive and healthy.

I think it’s easy to sit at home, read about this illegal fanbinding drama with interest, run to AO3 to mass download your favorite fics, pat yourself on the back for not buying or selling fics illegally or not adding them to Goodreads, then move on with your life. But I would argue this passive attitude is just as harmful to the community, in some ways.

The Criticism Ratio

You all have probably heard that you’re supposed to deliver compliments and criticism with a ratio of 5:1. This is because negative comments stick in our heads more, so even if you were balancing the good and bad, or giving twice as many good comments as bad ones, the bad ones carry so much weight, they still seem to be winning.

With writing, I would argue this ratio is probably more like 10:1. Because it’s so personal. And most of us are so new to it. And it’s so much freaking work. I timed it once, and one chapter typically takes me 12 hours to write. That doesn’t include editing, or the hours my beta puts into editing. Then, to float all that work out into the world and get negativity back … oof, it makes embarking on the next 12 hours, and the next and the next VERY difficult.

My Experience

I’ve been an author of some popular fics in both the Harmony and Dramione spaces. On the Harmony side, I’ve dealt with personalized attacks, not just against my stories but against me as a person. And when that was going down, there weren’t a ton of fans speaking up on my behalf. I got a lot of DMs telling me those bullies were just the “loud minority” but from my point of view, with my supporters sounding like crickets, they felt like a majority.

(Quick note to my Harmony readers: No I’m never writing Harmony again, get over it, and stop following me to every work I write next to ask me when I’m writing Harmony again. You had your chance to support me, and you fucking missed the boat.)

On the Dramione side, the public spaces are more moderated (thank God) so I’m less likely to stumble upon downright bullying. But this space is overwhelming in how BIG it is and how much conversation goes on about my fics. I always feel like the last to know when there’s some big Tik-Tok boom happening with one of my stories, when a story gets added to Goodreads, when there’s a reddit thread discussing the flaws in ‘Timeless’, when it gets posted for sale on Etsy, when someone popular binds it. It’s very hard to keep up with this giant fandom and it’s too much to handle at times. Which means if people don't send us things directly, we don't see it.

I also get this thing in Dramione that I didn’t get as much in Harmony where people act afraid or embarrassed to reach out to me. They’ll say things like, “I’m so sorry to bother you…” or “I’m sure you hear this all the time, and I know you don’t need to hear it from me too, but your works are great…” I think in Dramione people assume because it’s so big, other people are taking care of things, but that’s not the case. There is a lot of activity, for sure, but not much of that is making it back to the author.

My Ask

So anyway, think about the role you play in fandom. Are you contributing to the compliment bank, or the criticism one? (Remember, abstentions go with the majority. And in this case, every negative experience holds x10 weight).

Good things can be as simple as sending a quick note like, “Just letting you know I thought about your story today” or “Here’s another kudos because I just reread this gem!” It can be correcting a negative comment or review you see out in the wild, so that if the author ever stumbles across it, they see that their people are out there, sticking up for them. Ten people can instantly negate a bad comment with ten positive ones. Then if the author ever finds it, no harm done.

We all know the bad things that harm fandom, so there’s no need for me to rehash them here. But don’t forget that the passive things can be just as harmful. Things like: Rating a fanfic on Goodreads, because it’s already there, and you really want it to count towards your goal. Downloading a story, loving it, and never letting the author know. Reading rude comments online, complimenting yourself for not being that mean, then scrolling to the next thing.

My challenge to fandom is this: Let’s fill that compliment and support bucket so full that when an author does encounter a negative experience with one of their fanfics, they have a giant, fluffy pillow of endless love to fall back on. Let’s make those rare moments of nastiness truly feel like a minority to our creators. It’s not a ton of work. Our fandom is so flipping large, it just takes a tiny comment from each person to keep our community feeling like a fun, positive place to play.

#fanfic writing #dramione fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #hp fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #dramione fan fiction #dramonie

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soo-won · 1 year

Text

Rereading the beginning of the Eunyung's Home arc right now and yeah...when Eunyung's mom tells him "why don't you just apologize? Why do you bring up the school play event again after so many years?" it really connects with what Eunyung says to Haejoon in ch201, huh. That it would be so nice if he was nice like Haejoon and could accept everything and not be so hung up on things like that. Maybe if he was like Haejoon his relationship with his mother could be better?(I don't think so. but Eunyung maybe does).

But in parallel we also see how this aspect of Eunyung, being hung up on things and staying angry can also be helpful. It's because Eunyung is like that that he doesn't let Haejoon apologize to his mom when he shouldn't have to. It's because he is like that that he makes Haejoon have a medical diagnosis after his homeroom teacher hit him. It's because he is like that the bullying situation in the Marie arc could be resolved as well. As Haejoon says, it's also thanks to Eunyung that he could sort out things with his uncle and receive more allowance. This side of Eunyung that every adults around him try to make him suppress is good and healthy. It's this anger that causes change. It makes things harder for him and it causes more ruckus, sure, but Haejoon's acceptance in these moments is hurtful as well, it doesn't resolve the issue at hand, it just makes him carry all the burden. Haejoon grew up wanting to cause the less problems and worries possible to his mom (and now his uncle) and avoids confrontations with adults as a result (also a direct consequence of when he lost his mother probably), while Eunyung grew up fantasizing about his parents receiving punishments for all their abuse. The consequences were so bad to him when he tried it's the one thing he gave up on though, so it's no surprise he lashes out whenever else he can.

When you think about it it's also connected to their level of trust in adults. Haejoon relatively trusts adults. If you take the New Dorm arc, Haejoon was planning to tell other adults about the situation there, before Eunyung told him not to (pretty violently lol) because he can't trust adults to deal with it or believe them. So Eunyung uses his own way to deal with it and it works! But Haejoon trusts adults to deal with other adults and yeah. That's how it should be and go. But Eunyung presents the "but" of this. That's how it should be, but in some cases it doesn't work because adults are douchebags, and for Eunyung it's the majority of them. Haejoon grew up with a good(even if not perfect) mom getting angry for him so he knows good adults exist. He also was moved by Juwan's mom's kindness as well(even if that makes him embarassed too). Eunyung doesn't, though, so he has to rely on himself and get angry for himself, because otherwise who will?

Writing all this I'm like....yeah No Home is all about balance. Haejoon and Eunyung searching for the right amount of distance and closeness in their relationship. Searching for the balance in their distrust of adults too. Eunyung can't trust adults for very understandable reasons, but the arc with Haejoon's uncle shows us that adults are simply struggling sometimes and trying their best, even if they're clumsy. It's true Haejoon's uncle was drinking, but he's not an irredeemable piece of shit like his father either. But it was a situation where Haejoon couldn't rely on any adults either, after all his uncle is basically his only family left. And that's why Eunyung's point of view was so helpful.

Idk man I just love the hundreds of layers in this manhwa so much. Like it's not just "the best is not to be extreme <3 not too much not too little" it's "sometimes you have no choice but to be too much. Sometimes it's destructive, though. But sometimes it's the only solution. And /sometimes/ you need a bit of the two. Sometimes both solutions work equally well. Sometimes the consequences are bad and sometimes everything ends well" like yeah life really be complicated and unpredictable like that. There isn't one guide to follow and that will work no matter what, you constantly have to adapt to the situations and people around you. Something something Eunyung and his father but if I don't end this post now I never will.

#no home manhwa #txt #ch201 gave me severe no home brainrot im afraid #please read no home if you havent!! i say this every day i know but it's really .so good #i can't put it into words #but it changes your brain chemistry #Wanan the god of storytelling fr #I swear I didn't plan to write so much but I kept having new ideas and new things to say...#So scared to post this in the wild. Afraid to be cringe #But I'm free!!!#This is my default mode btw. I fight constantly the urge to talk non stop like that 7/7 and sometimes i lose.#no home #lumen rants

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perpetualexistence · 5 months

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Me? Come up with an idea for a fic based on a reblog chain with @total-drama-brainrot? It's more likely than you think.

I can't help but imagine Alejandro does try to use unconditional love/affection as a new emotional manipulation tactic against his brother José...except doing so ends up opening the can of worms that is their fucked up relationship as it forces both of them to self reflect on it. Featuring Carlos getting himself involved and that opening a whole different can of unresolved trauma. Also featuring Team CIRRRH showing at least one, possible three idiots what actual healthy sibling dynamics look like.

When will I write this fic? Uh....

...It'll happen when it happens. I'll probably just focus on getting everything I have out about the Sea Monster AU before going into writing any actual fic in too much detail. More is coming I swear, editing my ADHD-possessed rambles into something cohesive and more fleshed than I originally planed.

That first story post? Originally I was just supposed to copy and paste a single paragraph I already had written out about Noah and Alejandro's first meeting and the subsequent reversing of tables. Instead I ended up building lore for the unnamed town Noah lives in (names are hard, watch that be literally the last thing I come up with), foreshadowing Alejandro's true intentions, and writing one of the scenes that the whole AU was based off of.

The writing session was incredible. And I can now see places where I can still improve my work as I'm understanding how editing works. It also led to me getting exactly three hours of sleep because I had work the next day. There's got to be a better balance here. Part 2: Noah Makes a Deal With an Eel gets here when I semi-find a balance. (Also, I literally just came up with that name as I was typing and I'm rather proud of myself.

ANYWAYS, if you are curious about any of the other aus, please do ask. They range from me having paragraphs of ideas to having a single sentence of an idea. I'd love to bounce ideas off of people rather than hold my IRL best friend who's never watched Total Drama in her life hostage. (Don't worry, she holds me hostage over explaining Dislyte ideas when I've never played it before. It's Mutual Stockholm Syndrome.)

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bird-inacage · 1 year

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I’ve noticed an influx of newcomers to the LITA fandom of late and firstly - welcome! I never did do a wrap-up review when the series ended (probably neck deep in hysteria then) so I figured why not write one now. I will keep this brief, as I have a tendency to get carried away with my analysis on this show. You can peruse my index of deep dives for more if you wish. I will largely be referencing the Love Sky portion of this series because... well, my blog says it all really.

LITA is a story of two halves; the first 1-7 episodes focus on Rain's arc, whilst the proceeding 8-13 episodes focus on Sky's. Most BLs tend to have an interlacing structure that weaves multiple couples simultaneously. But LITA has done this to allow for chronological story-telling and doubles up well as a framing device. Rain's arc is more 'slice of life', humorous and light-hearted overall. Whereas Sky's arc is weighty and pensive, involving more serious themes, highs and lows. There is a distinct tonal shift between these two halves that feel like different movements within the same symphony.

As an adaptation of MAME's original novels, 6-7 episodes is a tight window to do each couple justice. This just about works for Rain’s arc over Sky’s, the latter of which definitely needed more run time, and feels awfully rushed at its crucial conclusion. Otherwise the narrative and romantic development progresses at a pretty steady pace.

Difficult topics around trauma and abuse are approached with sensitivity whilst still packing a gut punch. Thankfully this isn’t used as a gimmick but serves as an integral thread in Sky’s characterisation, and is consistently signposted throughout. What I really appreciate is how both couples overcome obstacles in a healthy way and learn to communicate. Our characters are able to learn and grow from conflict, and ultimately move forward in a positive direction.

Main Leads: Why this pairing really works for me is that I enjoy them as individual characters as well as together. A couple is only as strong as the sum of its parts - and for me to buy into a partnership, I need to be firstly convinced that these two people exist outside of just their relationship. Prapai and Sky are well balanced in that respect as they have clearly established identities of their own. This pair also had the added advantage of being introduced in Rain’s arc which really helped lay some ground work. Sky is a character most will easily love; perceptive, reliable and devoted, his insecurities are hugely relatable to anyone who has struggled with self worth. Whereas Prapai may divide audiences at first with his seemingly misplaced charm and (dorky) rich playboy aura, where a multitude of hidden depths are later revealed. You’ll come to adore this man in a similar fashion to how Sky is won over, seeing beyond his flirty teasing to the caring, patient and loving man underneath.

Pairing Rating: [SWEET + SENSUAL] This pair deliver on both soft comfort/domesticity as well as highly-charged intensity, a combination that will make your heart ache and break.

Other: This series very much centres its efforts around the leads. Relationship dynamics outside of our main couples tend to be overlooked and are increasingly forfeited towards the end (most namely Sky and Rain’s friendship which had a great kick-off in Rain’s half but was almost non-existent in Sky’s), likely due to time constraints.

Acting Performance: Relative newcomers Fort and Peat do a stellar job of making their characters feel fully realised and believable in such a short span of episodes. Both actors share uncanny similarities with the roles they are playing, which must have helped and is proof of great casting. I’m also hugely impressed that they were able to work against the reverse age dynamic they share in real life (Peat is 26, Fort is 22). Due to the heavier undertones in Sky’s storyline, this script really allows both actors to showcase a wider range of their acting abilities. Fort is a revelation, providing a very grounded and surprisingly mature performance. Peat does a wonderfully committed job of throwing himself into such a challenging role with enormous vulnerability. I give props to any actor who is willing to ugly cry and I mean ugly cry.

Visuals: Arguably one of the strongest characteristics of the show is it’s pleasing aesthetic that feels bright, clean, and really rather beautiful in certain scenes, particularly when it comes to the use of lighting, colour and camera angles. It’s very easy on the eye and elevates the charm of the everyday as its setting. Imagery is also utilised well when portraying Sky’s trauma.

Sound: The common gripe with LITA is the inconsistent quality of audio. Oh my, the audio. In some places the sound is insanely crisp and loud (think ASMR levels of breathing and shirts crinkling), and yet in others, dialogue is tenuous due to music, ambience or just dodgy recording in the first place.

>>>

FINAL THOUGHTS: It’s the couples that will lure in your heart and hold it captive. Despite the fairly simple trajectory of the storyline, the series is engaging with decent rewatch value. It would have benefited from a longer run. My blog is testament to how much I adore them - having written over a dozen metas on their relationship alone (but hey, I may be slightly biased). I wildly underestimated what this show was going to deliver when the trailer first came out, and my expectations were largely surpassed on all fronts.

(Disclaimer: These are just my own opinions. It goes without saying that one still can enjoy a show for all its successes as well as recognising its shortcomings.)

#LITA #love in the air #love in the air series #bird-inacage reviews #LITA review #prapaisky #paisky #fortpeat #fort thitipong #peat wasuthorn #thai bl

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plasmasimagination · 6 months

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Heyy girl hows it goingg! Congrats on ur amazinggg milestone. Totally deserved 🪼🪼 I was wondering if i cld get a matchup for genshin and hsr ! I totally loved the others u did.

I go by the she series and id love to be matched up w a hot man 🤤 my mbti is enfp and im a gemini! Im around 5’3 with tan skin and hv super grown out long dyed brown hair. I have 8 piercings total on my ears and i know im gna cop more next summer bless up. I wld say i def have a more summer oriented aesthetic i loveee me a tank top n shorts and bikini.

Im not surr what kind of personality i have .. but i think im a freak. I love to party nd go out w my friends obviii but i absolutely love spending time by myself bc im chill like dat. I think im pretty funny but i also follow my heart a lil too much and do whatever i want when i want, so i cant set boundaries w myself.. im def tryna work on that and have a healthy grindset and balance. Im down to do anything w my friends BUT im also a lil bit of bitch ngl… a lil bit of a hater if i see some weird activity in front if me

I love the beach and summer and drives with loud music playinggg. My ideal day is a warm summer day on the beach with some Js and scrolling thru the x reader tag on tumblr on my ipad.

My interests are surfing and paddleboardinf!! Im super into gymming and looking up wikipedia horror movie summaries. Im pursuing health rn too 😜 and i try to write in my free time but it never works out LOL. I also love thrifting and flea markets and im down to rage if u are 🤙

If i had a short life id probably honestly spend it at home w the fam and w my dog and w all my friends. Id love to do some epic in state road trips or have bonfires by the beach. i think itd be sick to be surrounded by all the simple things i love.

When it comes to my love life…. Erm… i definitely can be attracted SO easily but im quick to find icks tbh. I dont think i fall in love easily but i definitely get high on the possibility of it. Lets just say im hard to get and hard to want 😈 My ideal type is someone whos athletic and good at math and is FINE AF. My lovr language is quality time (i LOVE ft) so someone whos willing to do stuff w me is a plus. I think i also like someone who can match my speed and humor bc i hate miscommunication and awkwardness

Thanku sm if u decide 2 do my req! ⭐️⭐️

Hello there fellow darling >:)

As for your request, I would say I found just the right manz for you, but i didn't, so work with them a bit and they'll be vibing with u in no time(ㅠ﹏ㅠ)

So let's go

AL HAITHAM

Smart collected calm and rational, just to balance you out

introvert x extrovert

He's definitely impressed by your carefree attitude, and often gets dragged into your small adventures, he might complain around a bit but he doesn't mind as much as he says he does

Hes confused as to how you have the energy to go out to parties and surfing and everything, he's just way too tired to even think about such things, so he'll prefer to watch you from the distance, in the comfort of a chair and a good book

Listen listen, I know I know, he's pissy and awkward, but I like to think he wouldn't be like that in a relationship, and is actually very good at communication and explaining his struggles and emotions

It might take him a bit to trust you but when he does, he's a good partner

He might not be able to match your humour, but he can match your speed, he's very efficient.

And if that relationship doesn't work out, do try with kaveh, because that could work out more (and yes i did just recommend to get with with your matchups roommate)

MR.RATIO

Nerd x his cool partner

This one is more to match your vibe kind off

He's a sassy and confident dude

He'll definitely be a fan of your bitchy attitude , he likes dealing with bests

Can match your energy, occasionally, sometimes not sometimes yes, but most of the time he'll just follow you around and watch you do your hobbies and interests while reading something

Cold colour dressed boyfriend x summer dressed partner, just perfection

He's an ambivert after all, so he can keep up with your trips and enjoyments, but sometimes will distance himself off to a corner to recharge his energy

Generally he's the first that came to mind when I saw your request so consider it fate

#genshin fluff #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact x reader #honkai star rail x reader #genshin headcanons #honkai x reader #dr.ratio x reader #dr. ratio #alhaitham x you #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #al haitam x reader

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abeautifulblog · 10 months

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Thoughts on the Radovid romance

A couple people have asked about the Radovid/Jaskier relationship, and I thought it was... fine? As fine as anything in this show gets?

I wasn't expecting it to dethrone Geralt/Jaskier, because 20+ years of Jaskier building his life and legacy around Geralt is a lot more compelling than Some Twink He Met Yesterday, but I did go into it with a genuinely open mind. Everyone on tumblr was gushing over their chemistry, and I was like, Yea I'd believe it, given that this is Joey Batey we're talking about. So I was expecting to enjoy it the way I'd enjoyed the Yennskier content in S2, the rare treat of two characters having a real emotional connection.

And then I watched it, and it wasn't bad, but the relationship was a lot more disjointed (and their "chemistry" a lot less compelling) than tumblr had led me to believe. (Lol, mea culpa, I should have known better than to take tumblr's word for it.) Also it’s unclear whether it’s supposed to be a cute romance, or whether it’s two people using each other for their own ends?

But it did brush up against some interesting thoughts I'd had before about Jaskier and his patrons, and got me to thinking about consent and power dynamics again, because I am THEE MOST predictable little beastie in fandom. 🤣

First off, I'm not sure what we're supposed to make of Radovid. Obviously he's ~hiding his true self~ in some way, but I can't tell if we're meant to take at face value the side of himself he shows Jaskier -- that he's more intelligent than he's been letting on, and is actually deeply lonely in the empty-headed partyboy role he's been playing, desperate for genuine connection and for someone to truly see him for who he is -- or whether that is yet more deception, and this is all part of some big ambitious scheme that he'll whip out in a mustache-twirling villain reveal. There are elements that make me think it's the latter, but Hugh Skinner's acting is also just weird (and why are his eyes so wet o_o), and I can't tell whether that's supposed to be deliberate foreshadowing, or if, once again, the people making the show are just clueless about how their creative choices are coming off.

(I assume this will get answered at some point, possibly already has in part 2, but I haven't watched that yet.)

Honestly, the part that caught my interest the most was when Jaskier showed up at Radovid's salon wanting to talk about new intel he had on Rience, and Radovid was blithely uninterested, just wanted Jaskier to sing for them -- and then proceeded to casually, completely disregard Jaskier's No.

gremble: Oho? 👀

That's a red flag! 😊 Jaskier tried to set a boundary, and Radovid brushed right past it. And in any competently-executed piece of media, I would expect that to be deliberately signaling something. It doesn't necessarily mean that Radovid is evil -- could just mean he's a crown prince who doesn't have much experience with people telling him No -- but seeing him blithely override Jaskier's wishes in a low-stakes situation sets a bad precedent, and foreshadows how he might behave later, when the stakes might well be higher.

...Except that this production team is so HILARIOUSLY bad at writing healthy relationships -- for three seasons they've been feeding us the most toxic slop imaginable and telling us that's what love looks like -- that I have no idea whether that was on purpose or not. 😂😂😂

The Radovid storyline does touch on some concepts that I've long found fascinating, about Jaskier's system of patronage and how he trades on his sexuality. How his work is canonically sex work, or at least sex-work adjacent (that's made explicit when he talks about the Countess de Stael, that they were involved sexually while she was supporting him financially), and the balancing act of keeping his patrons happy when they are always, always going to be second in his affections to Geralt -- and how they probably wouldn't be too happy to learn that.

Because for all that S3 tells us Jaskier is developing a crush on Radovid, Joey Batey's acting says something very different. He did not come off as a man in love, to me -- he came off as someone who's acutely aware that when the crown prince of Redania rolls up and tells you he's your biggest fan, you fucking smile for him.

(Why yes, Moulin Rouge is my all-time favorite movie, why do you ask? 🤣)

Jaskier's interactions with Radovid feel very... 'calculated' isn't quite the word for it, but Jaskier is conscious of the power differentials there, and always carefully choosing what he does and says in light of what he knows Radovid wants from him. He's conscious of having to keep Radovid happy, yes but he's also conscious of what he stands to gain from having a crown prince clamoring to win his affections, and what he could leverage out of that. (Like, say, having the entire Redanian army to protect his little found family.)

And the power imbalance isn't entirely one-directional either. Radovid wants Jaskier's affections, something that can't be bought or coerced, and wants his specifically, which means Jaskier has all the power to give or withhold it... while also being aware that toying with a prince's affections is a dangerous game.

........Or maybe I entirely misread that, and Jaskier's feelings for Radovid are meant to be genuine, and the whole thing was supposed to be a cute little romance. The way that Joey & the production team have talked about that relationship makes it sound like that's what they were going for, but what's onscreen is very ambiguous.

It will surprise no one to learn that I think the more interesting option would be the one that complicates Jaskier’s motives. That even if he likes Radovid well enough, he's still deliberately leveraging Radovid's crush on him to get help for Geralt -- and that if he oversteps, he's risking the wrath of a very powerful man. (And that as the perceived rival, Geralt could wind up as the target of Radovid’s retribution.)

Anyway, it's a fascinating situation, and almost identical to a fic premise I've been tossing around for years. It's never quite coalesced enough to get written, but it does compel me.

(Alternately, if you wanted Radovid to be noble and tragic, @coffee-mage-sans-caffeine suggested a situation in which Radovid and Geralt are in peril together, one of them is not going to make it out of this, and Radovid sacrifices himself so Geralt lives -- because he knows which of them Jaskier loves more.)

#witcher shit #radskier #witcher meta #twn season 3

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yukidragon · 1 year

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I love your writings! They’re so fun and cool! Have you ever done a yandere Cove from OLBA?

Thank you so much! That really makes me happy.

Funny enough, before I got into Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, I actually dabbled a bit with the idea of making an AU with a yandere Cove. I actually referenced my initial thought for it in a post well before I started writing headcanon rambles.

In a sense, it would've been similar to the feelings system of the game. If you're indifferent, friendly, or in love with Cove, he feels the same way towards you. So it only made sense to me that if Cove was a yandere for Jamie, then Jamie should be a yandere for Cove too.

I actually started building on the concept of balancing wholesome love between two people who are different kinds of yandere who are also messed up and broken... when I came across Jack.

Honestly, Jack reminded me of Cove in many ways, particularly how soft and supportive he could be. Yet at the same time Jack was very much a yandere. Soooo... I kind of wound up using the bulk of my ideas for yandere Cove in the lore of Sunshine in Hell, hahaha.

It's not a one-to-one transfer of course. Jack isn't Cove and vice-versa. Mostly it's just the general vibes of love, obsession, and some dark points that fit in a yandere story that suited Jack and Alice better than Cove and Jamie for me. I was already committed to writing a novelization for the game (which I'm taking a bit of a break from due to my hyperfixation on SDJ) and admittedly the dark fantasy mermaid AU made me feel kind of bad because how harsh I was to Cove and Jamie, hahaha. Poor innocent cinnamon rolls were having a hard time in that AU.

Our Life is such a sweet and wholesome game. It's precious to me, and Cove and Jamie are such comfort characters for me. Jack and Alice are too, but in a different way. On the one hand I can have a sweet and wholesome story where issues are not that big... and then I can have a story of two broken people learning how to love in a healthy way. I was able to commit to the two different mindsets better when it's two different sets of characters and settings, which led me to an insane amount of headcanons for SDJ and lots of stuff written for the fan novelization.

Still... I do have my notes from back then, and there are things I came up with that won't exactly fit the story of SDJ. Since you did ask, and I'm probably not going to write the short fic of yandere Cove and Jamie, then how about I share them here?

Mostly like the regular Our Life universe, but different in small but important details.

First and most importantly - Cove and Jamie are yandere for one another. (Obviously, given it’s a yandere Our Life AU, but unlike other takes of a yandere AU it’s not just Cove who gets the yandere-ification treatment.)

Poppy hill is full of red glow poppies instead of white linen poppies to subtly symbolize the difference between both settings’ tones.

Naturally, this is Cove and Jamie’s favorite flower rather than the white linen variety.

Jamie fell in love instantly at first sight with Cove and knew she was going to marry him. She didn’t realize just how deeply and sincerely she felt about that at the time, but it became more obvious as they spent time together.

While marriage wasn’t on Cove’s mind, he was struck with how special and important Jamie was the first time he saw her. She was the only thing in Sunset Bird worth sticking around for. It was only as he grew older that he realized how strong his feelings were for her, but at 8 he was pretty insistent on spending time with her.

Likewise, Jamie was clingy with Cove, to the point that if he was leaving Sunset Bird, she wanted to go with him no matter the consequences.

Jamie knew it’d make her parents upset to go downtown on their own, and she loves her family deeply and doesn’t want to hurt them, but the idea of Cove leaving her made her feel fear like she had never experienced before.

Fortunately, Cove had no intention of leaving her behind. Unlike in the normal universe, he sought out Jamie to ask her to come with him. She, of course, agreed immediately without even knowing where they were going or why. Cove had packed enough for the two of them ahead of time.

Cove still wanted to go home, but he was confused how panicked he was about the idea of leaving Jamie behind, even if he promised himself he could come back and visit her. Rather than feel conflicted about who to choose, the easiest solution was to bring her along with him.

The two still only made it as far as the sign out of Sunset Bird. Cove revealed he wasn’t going back and revealed why he was leaving. Jamie (understandably) thought he wanted to leave her forever and broke down crying, clinging to him and begging him not to go.

Cove felt super guilty for hurting Jamie. The conversation between them here is mostly similar to how it happened in the regular universe, with Jamie insisting there’s no one who could forget Cove and him getting the dokis from it.

Cove decided to go back thinking that she was crying more because he wanted her to leave her home (which he knew from experience hurt like hell). Jamie just wanted to stay together more than anything else. If she was able to articulate that better and wasn’t so panicked and crying, they might have kept going with the run away plan. Fortunately, the two went back home with important lessons learned.

Cove learned to be more conscious about how Jamie feels. (+1 empathetic)

Jamie learned she needed to work harder to make Cove happy so he won’t leave her. (+1 possessive)

The sliding scale of personality in a game-type format would probably be empathetic vs possessive instead of warm vs cold. It’d affect both Cove and Jamie separately and influence their yandere natures.

The yandere tendencies influence platonic love as well. With Cove and how angry he is with his parents for the divorce, it makes him (funny enough) act more tsundere, bristling at them but wanting them to work harder to show him love.

Jamie is fiercely protective of her family and friends. Her relationship with Shiloh is more strained than in canon, as she’s felt like Shiloh has been monopolizing time with her big sister. She feels bad about it though since Shiloh’s nice, and it’s not like he’s purposefully hogging Lizzie’s attention, right?

Needless to say, Jamie is not happy when the truth comes out during Serendipity.

That's about it for the notes I made back then. I didn't get past Step 1 because I was building up ideas about how Cove and Jamie got their hearts twisted from wholesome to yandere as they grew up. What sort of traumatic events would happen and what would make their love become disturbing? How would these effect future events? I even made notes like game flags for how their yandere "type" might develop if this was a mod, haha.

The ideas for future steps were a bit more unsorted in my mind. I did figure that sneaking into each other's rooms after dark would start happening in Step 1. There would be a lot more sleepovers... whether the parents were aware of it or not.

Baxter probably wouldn't wind up being friends with these two. The second he flirts with both of them is the second both Cove and Jamie see him as a threat. Fortunately, he knows when to back off so I'm sure nothing bad would actually happen to him.

Jeremy and Shiloh might be in trouble for how they behave when Jamie is a bit more unhinged in the way she protects her family. GB-Patch did mention someplace (I forget where) that a yandere Cove wouldn't actually be able to hurt anyone, so that means Jamie would be the more dangerous one of the pair.

Huh. I just had a thought that Cove might actually notice Derek's crush on Jamie in this AU. He's oblivious in the canon, but if he's on edge for any potential threats that might steal Jamie away...

I'm sure it'll be fine though. Cove can just have a nice peaceful talk with Derek and sort things out. I'm sure they'll still be friends after that. Derek might think he's more of a weirdo, but it should be fiiiine. It shouldn't hurt their friendship, right?

Basically turn up the clinginess of Cove and Jamie even higher than it was already and have them be more protective of their families and friends, and you have my basic starting point for this pair as yanderes. Honestly I didn't think much of the blood and horror side. I'm too much of a marshmallow for that, as you might be able to tell with a lot of my headcanons for Alice and Jack, hahaha.

Despite Cove and Jamie being messed up yanderes, there would be a wholesome bend to it, as they would be very much in love with each other and fond of each other's obsessive quirks. An example would be appreciating each other's scents in a way that's reminiscent of a certain audio drama that came out for Jack recently...

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Our Life Beginnings & Always #Cove Holden #Jamie Last #Jamie Leimomi #Yandere!Cove #Yandere!Jamie #Sunny Day Jack #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

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shadowen · 3 months

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I've been thinking a lot about the intersections between gender envy, gender dysphoria, and body dysmorphia and feeling very stuck.

I'm non-binary and AFAB. I use the term genderqueer, because my internal sense of gender is very much shrug emoji. As far as specific terms, the closest is probably genderfluid or agender. In a perfect magical world, I'd be able to change my shape or temporarily swap out body parts at will. We don't live in a perfect magical world, obviously. I wear a binder sometimes, but I don't feel like it makes much of a difference. (Yes I have a good quality binder. Yes it's correctly fitted. I have large breasts and mostly wear sports bras, so there's just not a noticeable change.) I feel a lot of the "but am I non-binary enough?" impostor syndrome, for a lot of reasons.

This is all personal stuff, not meant to comment or reflect on the experience of anyone other than myself, and is probably WAY more information about me than you ever want to know. Just thought writing it out might help organize my thoughts. Maybe it did?

I'm fat. That's not meant to be disparaging, just a statement of fact. There's been some variation in my size over my adult life, but I've always been fat. There was a time when I could say I was hot AND fat, but that's long past. The only times I've ever lost a significant amount of weight, I was (a) still fat and (b) living in a way that was deeply unhealthy (replacing meals with coffee and cigarettes, walking so much I was in pain, not sleeping, etc.). I've tried medications and diets. I'm not unhealthy. I'm just fat, and I'm always going to be fat.

I feel like the entire front of my body is just in the way. My breasts and stomach are just this big lump of flesh that keeps me from ever being comfortable. Sitting, standing, moving, walking, sleeping, everything is harder because of this mass that feels like it's pasted onto my body. Clothes that otherwise fit fine don't fit right on my breasts or don't sit right on my waist or just won't go over my stomach. This has always been a problem, no matter what size I am. I used to say that I love my tits, but I don't. The only good thing I can say about them is that they're big enough to occasionally balance out my lower belly, so I at least sort of look like a shape instead of just a blob. One big fear I have with getting rid of them is that I will just look like a blob.

My physical appearance causes me severe psychological distress, but I genuinely have no idea what the underlying cause is. I feel so alienated from my physical self. I hate my body. It feels like a trap that I'm stuck in. I want to cut myself out of it, and I know that's not healthy. The big question is: Do I hate my body because it's fat or because it has breasts? Both? Neither? A secret other thing? This feels like an academic distinction, but gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia are separate medical diagnoses with dramatically different approaches to treatment. In the most simplistic terms, gender dysphoria says, "Your appearance doesn't reflect who you are, and there's things you can do to change that." Body dysmorphia says, "You're convinced there's something wrong with your appearance, and you need therapy to convince yourself there's not."

Neither of them is exactly right. Getting misgendered is irritating, but it doesn't stop me from doing things. What stops me from doing things is feeling like I look ugly and ridiculous no matter what I do. Body dysmorphia is mostly focused on minor imperfections, not literally the entire body, and hinges on the assumption that the feeling is irrational. Is what I'm feeling irrational? I don't know. Is it tied to my sense of self? Yes, definitely. Is it tied to my gender specifically? Fuck if I know.

The thing is, I do know that my gender presentation doesn't match my gender identity. (It doesn't have to, obviously. Non-binary people don't have to look non-binary, but I, personally, want to.) If I wear a dress, I look like a girl in a dress. If I wear a suit, I look like a girl in a suit. At least in a dress, I can look reasonably attractive. In masculine clothes, I just look like an ugly butch. (Butches in general are beautiful. I, in particular, am ugly.) Is there, theoretically, some combination of shapewear, clothing, make-up, etc. that could achieve the appearance I want? Yeah, maybe. Can I go through that routine every time I leave the house? Hell no. It takes most of my morning energy just to brush my teeth and put on a bra.

I know my body is not the right shape. (I think? Could be irrational. Who knows.) So what is the right shape? This is what I've been thinking about lately and why I've been thinking about the concept of gender envy.

Even after 20 years in fandom, I still feel self-conscious talking about things like this in terms of fictional characters, but characters, like gender, are artificial constructs that can have a material impact on our lives. So here we are.

Gender envy is one of those things that I've always understood in theory but never really related to. Recently, though, I encountered a character (as one does) who pinged my brain in a way I couldn't immediately figure out. Not necessarily attraction or identification, and not even really wanting to be like them, but wanting to give off the same vibe, the same impression, the same sense of existence. I didn't really think about what exactly I was feeling until I suddenly remembered that gender envy was, in fact, a thing. And... Yeah. That. So I'm looking at this character and thinking that this is what I want, and I'm looking at myself and wondering if it's possible. And I don't know. Because my body is the wrong shape, and I don't know if I can change it in a way that will make me feel... right.

(This is not about the owlbear. Yes, I generally want to be a beautiful, genderless, monster, but I'd still rather be human-shaped. I've genuinely put a lot of thought into whether I might be a furry and come to the conclusion that I really am just a monster fucker.)

I don't know. The best thing for me to do is probably talk to a therapist, but it's hard enough finding one in general, much less one who knows enough about all the intersecting issues to offer meaningful guidance. I have one non-binary friend who's also fat, but I think they struggle with a lot of the same questions I do. And of course, that imposter syndrome is constantly in the back of my head asking if I'm really non-binary or just sort of non-binary.

#gender is weird

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