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djsherriff-responses · 1 month

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I desperately need season two of CLH I’m going insane right now

Unlike my Jade and Sarah posts, this one is a lot more speculative as I’ll be discussing my theory regarding what Bullfrog’s backstory is and he’s the character we have the least information to go off of. I may also ramble about other stuff, but Bullfrog is the main focus

We got a lot of Sarah’s backstory in the show already , Dolph had a manga dedicated to explaining his and while Jade and Pey’J don’t have much going on, we do know they’re a close “family” (die Pey’J) and any other details about their lives we can at least make some educated guesses based on information from the show and outside sources. Cody probably has a wiki dedicated to him or something, idk

Bullfrog though, we know very little on him. We only know for sure that he’s the last member of the Assassins Creed, a group who fought for freedom and has been in conflict with the Templars for most of human history

But maybe that’s all the information we really need to figure the frog out

I made a lot of heavy comparisons between Bullfrog and Sarah beforehand in my Sarah post , especially in terms of their colour palette and the symbolism regarding that, but what exactly could Sarah's backstory hint to us regarding Bullfrog's backstory?

Firstly I want to take a quick detour to talk about Jade and Dolph , which will only highlight my theory on Bullfrog's story

While the relationships are very different at a first glance, upon further inspection I have noticed some similarities between the relationship Dolph has with Alex, and the relationship Jade has with Pey'J

Jade/Dolph takes care of Pey'J/Alex's well being , with Jade taking care of Pey'J emotionally while Dolph takes care of Alex physically

Pey’J/Alex sexualised Jade/Dolph , Alex was a groomer. Pey’J , despite knowing her since infancy and basically raised her, has confessed being attracted to Jade. How Pey'J sexualised Jade may just be my theory that he's meant as commentary on fathers who partake in purity culture, I think it's still worth bringing up regarding this pattern

Despite how young they are, Jade and Dolph are also more mature than the older men in their lives. While with Dolph that's debatable considering he spends most of season one dealing with a lot of negative emotions and wanting revenge, prior to the betrayal Alex behaved much more cocky and playful than Dolph who took the heist job more seriously than Alex. I already wrote a huge post about how Jade is basically made to mother her own uncle

Alex and Pey’J died on the same night by gun shots

But the major similarity between Jade and Dolph is they're victims of men much older than them, and those men are fatherly figures that Jade/Dolph trusted to protect them

Jade and Dolph are , possibly not by pure narrative coincidence, both orphans too. Jade's parents are straight up dead and Dolph has no clue if he even has a living relative, nevermind finding out what became of his parents

The common thread between Jade and Dolph's story is primarily focused on non blood related father figures that traumatised them

(I got nowhere else to add this but if Jade is in season two, I want her and Dolph to bond so badly and for them to become friends and help each other heal. They deserve a second chance at a good life)

What does that have to do with Bullfrog?

Let's look at the other ghosts

Cody is a celebrity cameo and isn't really a character with narrative purpose , so can't really pull anything from him. And Pey'J is.... Pey'J

Which leaves us with the one who kidnapped these people to form team ghost in the first place: Sarah Fisher

Now while Sarah is a character whose story is tied to her relationship with an older man , that relationship is nothing like the relationship Jade and Dolph have had with their respective old men

Though the relationship between Sam and Sarah is messy, the two also have genuine love for each other regardless of everything that's happened. Sam , while a human with flaws, was at the end of the day a loving father who wanted nothing but the best for Sarah and her well being. Sarah , as twisted as she has become, wanted nothing more than to have her father be safe

Sam has never been a predatory person to anyone , much less one that's comparable to Alex or Pey'J and certainly not towards his own daughter

Sam is a father who'd do anything to protect Sarah, his own flesh and blood

Since Sarah and Bullfrog are meant to represent the Templars and Assassins as well as the conflict of those two groups, than Bullfrog's story could have a strong focus on his bloodlines. Both groups in the original assassin games have had a strong focus on bloodlines within their respective organisations

Side note: While I’m not an expect on creed lore, being an Assassin or a Templar isn’t always something you’d inherent directly from a a parent or even grandparent. While the memories of past assassins is important to preserve, you don’t need to have any blood relation to join the brotherhood. I think I read somewhere it’s actually sometimes discouraged for assassins to start families (at least while they’re still actively an assassin? Need to look more into it). So while I do think the theme of family/bloodline and their legacies are going to be part of Bullfrog’s story, he himself isn’t going to be picky on who who can join him in (hopefully) rebuilding the brotherhood, it just adds to the already high amount of pressure the guy is under

Based on the deciphering on Bullfrog's mugshot, people have managed to make out that his full name may be "Bullfrog Korvin Jr". While some argue Bullfrog's surname may be "Kermit" instead, the Junior part of the name is easy to make out

Bullfrog Junior implies that there's a Bullfrog Senior for a little tadpole to be named after

I wanna point out as well that hybrid children exist in this universe and are seen along side human children, ( I'm assuming this is a field trip or something?). So while hybrids were created to fulfil a purpose in Eden , they can still get together and start families like any other hard working American Eden couple and if they're lucky their children can be involved in society along with human children, such as school activities

If I am onto something regarding Regan being in the Templar order and her being the reason Sarah has the ideals that she ended up having in the show , than it's my belief Bullfrog's story will parallel with Sarah in that regard and that Bullfrog had an Assassin parent, and that Assassin parent is the person who gave, or at least inspired, the beliefs Bullfrog holds on to in the show

This may be wishful thinking, but I'm gonna believe until proven otherwise that it was specifically Bullfrog's mother that was the Assassin parent

Besides wanting more women in this show I do actually have reasons to think Bullfrog's mother is the parent who passed on the assassin legacy to him, rather than his father

If Sarah and Bullfrog story's parallel each other , and the two are meant to represent the conflict between Templars and Assassins, how does Sam fit into that?

Simple: Sam doesn't

While it's entirely possible that Sam could've learned about the existence of the Assassin brotherhood before he died, we know that he had no knowledge of either the Assassins or their conflict with the Templars when Sarah was growing up. If he did, he would've been far more vigilant about the propaganda that was brainwashing his own kid, even if Regan was directly feeding it into Sarah’s brain

At most, we can take a guess the earliest Sam could've learned anything about the Assassins was some time after he lost custody of Sarah when she snitched on the watch dogs, and that's just a guess on the earliest he could've discovered them. Depending on how open they were in their involvement with the wasteland war or if they were even "public" at all in Eden prior to Bullfrog becoming the only member of the brotherhood, Sam may have died completely unaware of the mere existence of the Assassins

In other words, Sam was pretty much in the dark about the Templars and that side of Sarah’s lineage

Going off of this and my theory that Sarah and Bullfrog’s stories are meant to be parallels of one another, it stands to reason that Bullfrog Senior was , much like Sam , left unaware of the Assassin brotherhood and that part of his own son’s lineage

Bullfrog and Sarah inheriting their mothers’ legacies of eternal conflict with each other can be a sort of play on the phase “sins of the father”. At least with Sarah , having it be “sins of the mother” makes more sense since Sam is more or less a good guy in the narrative who doesn’t have any sort of millennial old legacy to uphold, and for Bullfrog? Again , wishful thinking

If I really wanted to push that angle, I can probably make a reference to Eve , the first sinner and mother of all humanity. Bullfrog is technically already the snake offering a fruit of forbidden knowledge to Rayman’s Adam , so the symbolism is already present

“But it’s kinda weird that Bullfrog, a frog hybrid, has a bird themed surname if he’s from a family of frogs and was raised by his biological frog parents” And while the basic answer would be “it’s an Assassin’s creed reference and even if not , surnames don’t always make sense for an individual” the other possibly answer to that is to bring up another old man in Sarah’s life:

Marcus Holloway

I’ve seen a lot of people theorise that Bullfrog was adopted by a bird (usually crow or raven) hybrid and that’s how he got the bird themed surname. It’s an adorable headcanon

But going off of my theory I’ve explained thus far, I believe that a member of the Assassins creed , who happens to be a bird hybrid, was a friend of Bullfrog’s mother (and maybe father, but Senior wouldn’t be aware of the brotherhood’s existence) and was basically the Marcus to Bullfrog’s Sarah

Now, while I’ve said I believe Bullfrog’s backstory will parallel Sarah’s, I don’t think it’s going to be exactly one to one and the two are different characters , and my Marcus comparison here is an example of that

Remember the hero’s journey and how I used that to figure out Sarah had a hero complex?

While this entire post is a ramble of a theory and I’m most likely off the mark on a lot of stuff (besides maybe Bullfrog’s story involving blood lines and their legacy) , based on everything I brought up till now, we can probably take some (wild) guesses on what events Bullfrog experienced prior to the show's events

Having used the hero's journey as a template to explain the events in Sarah's life and keeping in mind that her story is likely meant as a parallel to Bullfrog's, we can use that to estimate what events happened in Bullfrog's life

Call to adventure:

Considering Bullfrog has a French accent and speaks French, his family originated from either France or a country with French as the dominant language

In season one , we do not have any information about what life is like outside of Eden. The only thing we know in this universe is that America was a country that existed when Rayman came to earth along with the rabbids, but soon after that the very concept of America disappeared and slowly became Eden, essentially wiping almost all traces of the country ever existing beforehand

There's a massive desert area called the wasteland smacked in the middle of Eden, with how a large piece of area in the middle of a capitalist nation where every other corner is a city building wanting to sell you something became untouched is not known

With how control is a defining factor in their beliefs and how they're a global threat , the Templars may have control of other countries , or least the more powerful countries (such as several European nations) in similar fashion to how Eden is currently functioning

Alternatively, Eden may be the only place left on earth that's actually bearable for most life , with every other country essentially being wastelands ,less likely due to the Templars and more so the Rabbids doing

Either because France sucks under Templar rule or Rabbids made it a hellscape , Bullfrog's father decided to leave and try getting into Eden to get a better chance at life , much like what Sam tried doing for Sarah

Supernatural aid: The crow hybrid assassin (or some other ally character) helps out Bullfrog and his family

Threshold , beginning of transformation: Bullfrog gets someone arrested

Bullfrog tells Rayman that he used to watch his show as a tadpole. While Bullfrog is clearly disillusioned by Eden propaganda as an adult, it could've been a very different story when he was a child

Maybe even a raykid?

Now obviously if Bullfrog's mother was an assassin, she would've kept her children as far away from Eden propaganda as much as possible

But going with Sarah and Bullfrog being parallels, so are their mothers. Sarah doesn't speak of her mother in the show but it's safe to assume that Regan, while someone who existed, was absent in Sarah's life before Sarah snitched on the watch dogs

It's likely then Bullfrog's mother parallels with Regan in sharing same fate as her, whatever that would be

Another reason I actually prefer for the mother to be Bullfrog's assassin parent is another parallel that can be made with Sarah: their fathers being against their conviction

While Sam wasn't part of the assassin brotherhood, Sam was never on the side of Eden . Sam may not have had all the information, he did know what Eden was doing was wrong and didn't want Sarah to become another cog in their machine

So paralleling with Sam , Bullfrog's father in contrast was pro Eden, at least by some extent, and thus would've encouraged Eden propaganda onto Bullfrog

Especially when his wife was no longer in the picture to say otherwise

So at some point after arriving in Eden proper , Bullfrog gets someone arrested in a similar fashion to how Sarah got the watch dogs arrested. Who that is exactly and under what circumstances I can't really say, but I can say one thing: It makes Bullfrog feel wrong for doing it

While Regan ensured that Sarah knew of her Templar heritage and the ideals that came from that, so that Sarah knew when "to do the right thing". Bullfrog's mother ensured Bullfrog knew of the beliefs of the brotherhood and understood the importance of justice

Bullfrog , despite being surrounded by repeat propaganda and his own father's belief in Eden, knew on a subconscious level something was wrong

I mentioned that I believe that a bird hybrid assassin would be a parallel to Marcus , and I believe that bird hybrid and Bullfrog have a bond that Marcus could've had with Sarah

If only their circumstances were different, Marcus could've been a second dad to Sarah

At some point there'd be conflict with Bullfrog senior being against his son becoming "terrorist" , and thus Bullfrog deciding to distance himself from his father and take on his mentor's name , Korvin

Challenges and Temptations : most likely Bullfrog's assassin training, maybe something to do with revenge (?)

Revelation, Death and Rebirth: Okay either the brotherhood dies, probably in the wasteland war or Bullfrog senior dies

The brother hood dying fits this better, but Senior dying or rather getting himself killed could be the final step from Bullfrog to let go of his past and fully commit to his destiny as an assassin

You can probably make a plot of Senior seeking revenge only to end up getting innocents and himself hurt along the way, and this that's what formed Bullfrog's views on revenge

Transformation: Bullfrog becoming a master assistant, maybe?

Atonement: Much like Sarah, Bullfrog's story isn't finished yet and thus, we'll have to see what happens in season two

#captain laserhawk #Sarah fisher #Bullfrog Korvin Jr #Splinter cell #Same fisher #captain laserhawk spoilers #rambles #It's almost one in the morning why are hyper fixations like this

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dungeonbf · 4 months

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oc moment 🤯🤯: sigge andersson lore

- swedish-american (?) & 19 years old (turning 20)

- birthday is jan 7th

- moved to america when he was 11 and retains a bit of an accent, most noticeable on words with v's

- one of Those Guys who claims to be a strong, nordic man (can't lift a 5 lb weight)

- metalhead, loves traditional second wave black metal, as well as raw black, folk black, and death metal - also really into dungeon synth, like grausamkeit... he's a b.s.o.d fanboy, unironically

- also likes mainstream metal, particularly megadeth, but is incredibly embarrassed about it and will never admit it - hides a megadeth shirt deep in his closet

- doesn't shower. like, genuinely does not shower. he has to be forced to shower by his parents when the smell becomes unbearable, usually once every month and a half

- when he DOES shower, he uses those 10-in-1 body washes that smell like emotions and concepts like "wrath" and "swagger"

APPEARANCE:

- long dirty blond hair; looks lighter in the sun, he swears he's a true blond

- hair is incredibly greasy - when he runs a hand through it, his fingers come back shining

- soulful brown eyes like a wet deer in the grass

- YELLOW TEETH... raw gums...

- wears a stretched, clunky septum occasionally (3mm to 4 mm)

- scrawny. no muscle to be seen, he is genuinely fragile and sad

- tall-ish, 5'9 (swears he's 6")

- nose is a bit hooked

- corpse paint design is blocky and squared off, like euronymous'

- occasionally wears those black witch hats (inspired by b.s.o.d...)

- typically seen in a handpainted band tee (typically grausamkeit or carpathian forest), loose black jeans and worn out combat boots (reaching about calf height)

- covers up acne and other insecurities (like his nose) with corpse paint, almost always seen with it unless at home

PERSONALITY, LORE & MANNERISMS:

- asocial, says it's by choice (lie)

- thinks no friends = trve kvlt

- lonely, of course, and WANTS friends but his interests and general standoffish demeanor put off others

- internally homophobic... refuses to admit his attraction to men, despite drooling over any man that looks at him for .5 seconds

- LOSER. chronic reddit user; downvotes everyone who doesn't echochamber his thoughts

- plays guitar. badly. knows one song (master of puppets by metallica) and brags about it constantly - knows nothing of music theory and says he doesn't need to know because tabs exist

- snus user and is really pretentious about it - "you SMOKE? so you want to ruin your lungs forever and smell like shit..." (while damaging his gums)

- is the type of person in tiktok comment sections to make suicide jokes under a vid of a happy couple

- autistic & bpd

- autism primarily manifests in "social awkwardness," lack of understanding of social cues, and intense special interests (metal); stims by headbanging

- bpd is primarily in unstable reactions towards others, impulsivity, cutting, suicidal ideation, and dependency in romantic relationships

- note: sigge has not been in any romantic relationships (besides a fake one when he was 11 - a girl asked him out as a joke and he brought her handpicked flowers for the next few days) - this is just how he would act IF in a legitimate romantic relationship

#euro.txt #EUGHHHH #wet eyes.#do you guys care abt sigge 😞😞...

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lenievi · 7 months

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001 for both mckirk and spones please!

This is gonna be long :D I'm gonna have to use read more

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you: mckirk

when I started shipping it if I did: so when the lockdown in 2020 started, I had nothing to do and just watched stuff. I have this favourite dubber and I was looking at the list of stuff he dubbed, and saw Star Trek AOS on that list. This guy is the voice of 2000s Alan Rickman, Tom Hanks, Tony Stark, he also apparently dubbed Garak in that one Star Trek series, and so seeing the reboot films on the list and his name next to McCoy, I was like, gotta check how he sounds. The fact that Kirk was also dubbed by a guy I generally like was a plus. (funnily enough Captain America/Iron Man and Kirk/McCoy are dubbed by the same guys here, which is funny to me). So I checked youtube and the scene I saw was the scene in Beyond where Kirk and McCoy are alone and are having a drink. And that scene did something to my brain, and I was like this is the dynamic I want, I wanna read fics, so before that I had to watch the films. So I watched AOS, basically through McCoy (Kirk/McCoy) lenses and started to read fics. Three weeks later, I decided to watch TOS because a lot of the fics referenced Kirk's backstory, so I wanted to know about it. The three weeks reading fics and looking through livejournal, kind of made me think that McCoy wasn't really an important character in TOS and that AOS made up the mckirk relationship (such a lie), so when I started watching TOS, I only planned to watch episodes heavy on McCoy. Which like... were most of them at the beginning lol I kinda decided not to trust the fandom after like three episodes or something. I binged the three seasons of TOS in like three weeks. I've had a hard time seeing tos!Kirk with men for a long time (I've had a complicated "relationship" with tos!Kirk for so long), so my interest in tos!mckirk was primarily as a platonic relationship [but it was always my fave relationship, I liked it even more than spones, actually] (but romantic in aos), but I started to insert Kirk into my spones fics, wrote a part from his POV, and then one day I just woke up and decided to write a tos!mckirk fic (it was actually because I started to read aos fics again, getting back into aos!mckirk, but... the tos version has been calling me) and just embraced the romantic (and sexual lol) aspect of their relationship.

my thoughts: I love their friendship so much. It's very important to me. I like that McCoy knows what to say to pull Kirk back on the right path, I like that Kirk can be vulnerable around McCoy. In AOS I like that McCoy is the only one Kirk shares stuff with about his mother and his insecurities (in Beyond it looked like he never even allowed the other crew to acknowledge his birthday... until McCoy finally decided to give him a party, after 5 years on the Enterprise...)

What makes me happy about them: we see both of them the most at ease around each other. They can forget who they are around each other, for a moment, at least. McCoy gives Kirk some of his most brightest smiles; McCoy can make Kirk genuinely laugh. Kirk needs him. badly.

What makes me sad about them: I eat angst for breakfast, so uhm...

things done in fanfic that annoys me: the lack of their friendship even in gen fics T_T (we all know what annoys me in aos fic, we don't need a rehash)

things I look for in fanfic: having more fics would be fun lol You know, just a genuine intimacy they show in the the show. Jim's sense of duty being the cause of angst.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: McCoy with Spock (I do like the idea of mckirk to spones after the movie era, more or less). tos movie era Kirk? Actually, no one.

My happily ever after for them: buying a cabin in the mountains and getting two dogs (one big and one small) post TUC (then we can stop time lol or not...)

who is the big spoon/little spoon: idk haven't thought about their sleeping position. It would probably change based on what kind of story I'd wanna tell

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: .... you know, they're happy when they find the time to have sex...

spones under the cut

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you: spones

when I started shipping it if I did: so above I said that I started to watch TOS because of mckirk, right? Mainly because of The Conscience of the King and Tarsus IV, right? Well... I finished that episode shipping spones LMAO It really was quite quick for me.

my thoughts: the most engaging dynamic in TOS imho

What makes me happy about them: The loyalty, the trust. They were in each other's lives for 100 years. 100 years. That they're more similar than different. That they actually understand each other, but would never admit it. "I don't think I could stand to lose you again." < what is that? so real to have McCoy say that

What makes me sad about them: that they would leave the other one behind and die if it meant to save Kirk (this isn't meant negatively, I'm not really explicit about it or talk about it, but my spones know that Kirk's life is a priority, sometimes even just to show that no, we're not emotionally compromised, we know what our duty is kinda way. I just think it'd be great to explore that in a fic)

things done in fanfic that annoys me: uhm (I'm speaking in general, it is just my opinion based on my taste; I believe that everyone should write what makes them happy, we can't ever please every single person) McCoy using hobgoblin, elf, jackrabbit (the last two are terms that Kirk used to make Spock angry) as a form of affection/endearment, or at all tbh. McCoy being insecure because of Kirk. (give me Spock being insecure because of McCoy-Kirk friendship) Some people feeling guilty about writing spones and therefore still making kirk-spock have the specialest bond *rolls eyes* I just don't get the need to quantify relationships, I guess. Any kind of pet names.

things I look for in fanfic: balanced relationship, mature arguments that don't rely on pettiness, trying to combine the different world views, not needing to express love in a traditional way, but a way that works for the two of them and their two differing cultures.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: McCoy with Kirk, obviously. Spock with Chapel or T'Pring (even during the movie era, yes).

My happily ever after for them: 100 years. What more do you want? LOL My personal hc is that when McCoy dies, and Spock goes to Romulus, McCoy's spirit is always there because a part of his soul stayed inside Spock's katra. So Spock is just haunted by McCoy's spirit until he dies on New Vulcan, and then they're put into the katra stone. Together forever.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: I imagine them more as Spock sleeping on his back and McCoy's head on his arm/chest.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: banter (they especially enjoy if it makes Kirk exasperated)

[ask meme]

#leni answers memes #so looooooong #tos nonsense #thank you!!#mckirk #spones

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shebitesshewrites · 11 months

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1952

Drabbles/Excerpts/Concepts from an Edward x O.C. I am working on ✨

Suspensions

Okay so let’s just pretend that Edward HAS loved before - but that his love for Bella eventually is like far deeper obviously, so this is going to be just be him really trying to put his whole Edwardussy into loving someone after seeing Rosalie/Emmett and now Jasper/Alice being so perfect and in love

Let’s pretend that Jasper’s thoughts have driven him out for the moment- right after Jasper and Alice joined them, he’s just getting away from feeling the wave of Jasper’s thirst through his mind everyday, taking it on as his own, remembering his time apart from Carlisle- hearing everyone else remembering his time away from Carlisle, comparing his to Jasper- he just needs a minute

Alice is keeping tabs on him, but trusts that he just needs time to sort this out, the more she interferes the longer it will take him to come home.

I really like the idea of Edward’s interactions with other’s telepathic abilities, and what it is like to be so close to someone- or trying to be close to someone- who knows your whole mind, or KNOWING someone’s whole mind. Like what if he just really really tried to accept everything about someone to find love. I can see him pushing himself to do that- like if he can just find someone whose mind is easy to forgive?

Also Edward struggling with the way Carlisle changes people- if he is truly so concerned with souls and damnation, surely this would get to him in times of weakness- especially when Jasper joins them and is on S T R U G G L E street, it would remind Edward of his early days with Carlisle, why he chose to turn him and Esme, and Rosalie, when they suffer like this so often because of it- and when the only relief they receive is from being coupled (that Rosalie resented this life until Emmett)- yeah you’d start thinking there’s something wrong with you- you’d need a break- you’d try anything to find that relief for yourself no?

~~~~

Set up / Who / What

So off he pops to NYC night life to be a sad lurker boy- when he runs into Jewel/Julie/Julie/Jay bird (our O.C.), a jazz singer (and for some reason I am so sure I saw somewhere that Edward hates Jazz- but now I cannot find that source for the life of me- but we know 50′s, 60′s is his favourite era of music so I'm sure we can make this some sentimental reason as to why - maybe he hated jazz before meeting her 👀).

Jewel’s talent is essentially a siren song, which she used to entrance and control men at the club into doing whatever she wants (primarily to throw their money away for her and drumming up business for the bar [she is a businesswoman first and foremost aye] but of course a girls gotta eat). Edward isn’t as affected by it because of the echo (he’s hearing it in her head and everyone else’s so he is more aware of it I guess) but he is intrigued by her- how an immortal can show such control, reminds him of the Cullen's and their ability to attempt an ordinary life- he wonders how she developed such self control on her own.

She spots him in the club during Sinatra's set (yes Frankie is playing in her underground club in this timeline- idc if it doesn’t make sense I tried so hard to make the timeline match up with his shows at the time I stg), she’s upset that he looks like he isn’t enjoying himself, and then she recognises him as an immortal.

They go out for the night- she tries to compel him - it doesn’t work well. She is shocked by the fact he has a “family”. She is similar to Rosalie in this way, she craves a mortal life, and finds the feeding aspect of immortality difficult, because how could she take something away from someone that she so badly wants?

When she learns about his gift they start working in tandem, he picks them out, and she takes them down. Carlisle wouldn’t exactly be pleased, but at least he is controlling his thirst around her. Her thoughts are clearer than Jasper’s at least- she doesn’t kill for the love of it, the way he does, for anything, anyone, something. She seems to only indulge her lust in the moment, then the job is done.

She reminds him of when he used to hunt, only preying on the worst of humanity. He tries to get her to move back with him-

“Maybe we could have what they have?” He likes her, and she just wants family, a community, greater purpose- that’s the closest he’s come to a mind or goals he can align with. He knows her intention is there, and he could make her happy by giving her that. Maybe they could grow to have what Carlisle/Esme have, what everyone else seems to have except him. Is his ability to read minds the only thing stopping him? Perhaps if he just found a mind to.. tolerate. But does she value human life enough?

She doesn’t feed often, because she could never take away a life she wanted so much. But will her disgust for the men that hurt her, the predators who take, will that bloodlust be satiable - will she be able to move past that - with the way immortals struggle with true change?

Drabbles

When they are arguing talking about the Cullens

“Why are you here then?” Jewel questions.

“I just told you I had to get away-”

“No- I mean why are you here and not with them?” her thoughts jumped around with visions of a happily family life, something she thought impossible for their kind.

“It’s not like that.”

“How?” she accused, almost in defense of her vision, of indulging the belief that life could exist for her. Edward frowned.

“We’re broken, we relapse, we make sacrifices for this life, and we take the lives- the souls- of others without their consent. They don’t get a choice- Carlisle turns them and then they stay, and that’s it.” He snarled at her, eyes dark now, his involvement in the Cullens’ clan growing clearly at the front of his mind- and perhaps the guilt of his inability to stay with them, his relapses, trying to please Carlisle and Esme, to make them proud-

“I said it’s NOT LIKE THAT-” he barked. He had followed her thoughts then.

“So it is just like a real family,” Jewel smirked.

They people watch at the bar, speaking in the hushed way immortals can without being noticed, while Jewel questions him on the mind’s of different passersby.

“He's caught on, you know.”

“Tony!?” she starts, he nods. She looks up at her ask no questions bartender, never having considered his opinion on her habits before

“But he barely believes it himself, and I doubt he’d do anything about it.” “Has he told anyone?” he sits still for a moment. She’s noticed he does this when he’s… listening, for lack of a better term. She briefly wonders how aware he is of her thoughts in this moment, honed in on someone else's- perhaps hers could go unnoticed. “There’s a girl.” he startled her out of her head again, allowing it to fill with everything she knows about Tony’s life, “They’re not serious- he likes her but…” he smirks, “she’s.. his neighbour? They live in the same building… she’s sort of tolerating him, but he doesn’t want to freak her out with something like this,” he chuckles, a nice change to his otherwise stern façade, “Like maybe if he doesn’t tell anyone it won't be real.”

A joke comes to her mind, and he laughs before she does, “Schrodinger’s Vampire?”

Their lazy days in bed after um *stuff* just chatting and enjoying the physical contact

“Rosalie would love you.” He laughed and she felt his laughter fill his chest under her palm.

“So does Alice know about me?”

He shrugged, “Probably.” and he drifted off into that familiar silence. She ignored it and laid her head back down on his chest.

Edward realises how cut off she is from the rest of the immortal world- how she has managed to fly under the radar- wouldn’t the volturi have come for her had they known she possesses such a commanding gift?

“The volturi?”

“You don’t know them” he asks, in the way that he does by just stating things before she even forms the words. Vague images of cloaks and blood red eyes, petrified skin, towers and hushed whispers- only imagined, as that one traveling immortal’s tales fill her mind.

“I’ve heard of them, but I've never had anything to do with them, really.”

#twilight edward fanfiction #twilight fic #twilight oc #edward x OC #drabbles #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #rosalie cullen

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laplacesdevil · 1 year

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Snippets from the bbieal comic script

So, as I started to work on this comic, I needed to create a script to make sure I wouldn't get off track nor make it longer than I was capable of completing for the release of BBCR! So i just wanna share some comments + snippets from it under cut. This focuses primarily on the script, rather than the finished product, but i don't mind going over any questions ppl have abt it!

Around the script, Baldi actually had some dialogue where he tends to elongate some words he says, based on smth I noticed in sm of his dialogue. Maybe I'll bring it back smday

The original sketch wasn't formatted how it was, but I edited it! Also because I thought Playtime should be allowed to ramble bc she deserves to. Btw Mommy, Daddy, and Bubby are Substitute Teacher, Principal of the Thing/Vance, and It's a Bully!

Originally, this section didn't have any dialogue, but as I sketched it out, I wanted to add more to it! Also

I so badly wanted to leave this into the comic. SOOOO badly. But I wanted to keep the script a lil semi-serious, so I just left it at Banana

just look at his lil face :3

Originally, Bully AND Arts were gonna be in the detention center together, due to them fighting w each other (Bully stealing Arts' notebook or using a plastic spider on them)

With this in mind, alternatively, Arts was gonna win the battle, and then turn to you, murderous intent, because you had one notebook! What I'm saying is that Arts fucking charges at you while Baldi + Vance duke it out

I was torn between making this part a comic page or a video, but because I didn't really feel like making a page for zoom-ins (that's literally the only reason i think. so sorry), I did a recording instead. I used Baldi's Basics Plus for free-roam, since I felt Baldi's Basics Classic didn't (i believe it doesn't?? Not until BBCR). Alternatively, I was planning on using a Baldi's roblox game for it, but I couldn't find a good one with free-roam. Realizing I could've possibly used one of those RP games in a priv server, but it ain't the same...

I also needed to find a place to put 1st Prize in! When I was plotting this script in my head, I was thinking of Baldi going in different classrooms, and you'd see Arts and/or 1st Prize, and he'd introduce them, but... that felt too lackluster(?) also i'm very biased w playtime so sorry (/lighthearted)

If I were to remake this comic in the future, I'd like to record the video using the free-roam in BBCR, but also Principal would fucking get me for running all around the place. Also hoping i'd be better at editing by then! (man who uses clipchamp)

btw i was so fucking sure 1st prize says he loves you in game. but apparently he doesn't?? that makes me sad. some time i'll go find the program his tts voice is from and make him say yippee

Speaking of the end of this video, there wasn't gonna be a bite sound effect at the end, but I love sound effects. There was going to be a fnaf minigame end transition as well, but I had already gotten enough viruses downloading the music for the video (/lh)

In the alternative route, where Bully + Arts were too busy wrestling for Arts to charge at you, and Vance + Baldi were fighting too, you would've just exited the office and headed to Baldi's office (bc Baldi tells you that you can wait at his office until he's done beating the SHIT out of Vance). 1st Prize would've bumped into you around here!

i'm so normal about transparent, red-shirted men.

Fun fact! This dialogue was actually subject to change, based on how early I finished the comic pages, as I was kinda working tandem, with the script being ahead. I wasn't sure I was gonna finish the friend pages on the same page or not, but if I knew, I would've had Null be like "Oh- you're right on time!"

Here is Null's drafted script! There would've been static around it, just like in the comic. Also Null never apologized here because this was on the "arts didn't go after you" path. Anyways I'm so glad none of us downloaded the game and played it. Right guys. And that if we did download it, we deleted it? Guys? Haha? (man who had spent 4 episodes trying to get to null and failing)

oh yeah he was gonna cover your screen with static, but I wanted to use the banana I always had downloaded. I don't remember why I have it downloaded. please help. Also i wanted to use the gaster fade sound effect

Now, we'll dive a bit into the finished product for this- when I had first written this out, Friend wasn't gonna be fucking around with the comic borders, but then I realized it's extremely in-character for him to do so!

Actually... did you know? There's some instances of comic border symbolism, in this section!

Anyways, that should be all I wanted to go over! Let me know if y'all have questions about the comic itself!

#Phone Texts #Here + There School #just for safekeeping

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itsclydebitches · 2 years

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I wonder what's in store for Neo in V9. On one hand I expect her to become another Emerald since she's one of fan favorites. On another she reminds me of Adam: set on killing a main character, got a book/character short before the Volume and never showed remorse for their crimes.

My expectation is that we're going to swing hard in either direction. Meaning, rather than keeping Neo around as an on-again-off-again villain, she'll either be redeemed or killed off in Volume 9. Hero or dead, something to "conclude" her story.

Right now, I'm also leaning towards an Emerald situation. Partly because RWBY has been on a redeemable kick for a while now (moving from a crying Raven and Cinder to a forgiven Ozpin, Hazel, and Emerald). Partly because I expect the island will house its own kind of antagonists for the group to fight, setting up an easy 'enemy of my enemy is my friend' situation. Partly because, as you say, Neo is a fan favorite and if Penny's return proved anything, it's that RT is very willing to keep favorites around for the sake of audience engagement, even if their presence isn't accomplishing anything. Between Penny's circular stint as the Winter Maiden and Emerald's instant forgiveness, there's no reason why RT couldn't—or wouldn't—do the same with Neo. Have we appropriately grappled with everything she's done, up through 'killing' Yang and trying to kill Ruby as they fall? Probably not. Is she adding anything to the plot or the dynamic of the team? Probably not. But provided she's on screen in some manner, more viewers will tune in. Plus, if we get into RWBY's messy gender dynamics, this would follow their pattern. Roman, Ozpin, Adam, Hazel, Watts, Jacques, Clover, Vine, and Ironwood all die post-villainous deeds. Emerald, Harriet, Elm, and Winter are redeemed with, as said, Cinder, Raven, and Neo positioned in a more sympathetic light, even if they're not fully good yet. Ilia is forgiven before going off on her own. Even Salem, as part of her backstory, is granted immortality. In short, the women stick around while the men disappear, either literally, or in Ozpin's case via the merge. I'd say the one true outlier here is Marrow, someone who realized things were #bad earlier than the others, missing out on the judgement of the group. As the fanatic of the bunch, I fully expect Tyrian to die before the story's end, which just leaves Mercury. As another abuse survivor whose villainy is completely equal to Emerald's (in that everything they've done on screen they've done together, minus their separation between the whale and Vacuo), he should be poised for redemption too... but I'm really interested to see if RWBY does it. Or, more specifically, if they choose to redeem him without then immediately killing him off.

Though everyone likes characters for various reasons, I don't think Neo's popularity can be separated from her status as the 'cute ice cream girl.' At the same time, though there are many factors here, I don't think RWBY's attempts to write a progressive show can be separated from the criticism of, 'You're doing that primarily by treating the men badly so the women look good in comparison. While also making the women pretty passive at times and, when they are active, following that up by shifting the blame for failures onto the men around them.' They might really surprise me with Neo, but based on RWBY's history, she's exactly the kind of 'sexy girl power' character they'd want to keep around, even at the expense of ignoring her active, joyful villainy. Something something Roman made you do all this and it's totally understandable that you'd try to kill everyone after losing him (kinda like it's understandable for Harriet to drop a bomb after losing Clover). Which, ironically, is one of the other major reasons why fans like her. Much like Tyrian, Neo is interesting because of her playful approach to committing crimes; how she enacts these deeds not just out of revenge (that's a recent motivation), but also the joy of getting away with it. She revels in being a bad guy, so changing that aspect of her character and denying her that agency would erase much what makes Neo a compelling character to begin with.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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impostoradult · 3 years

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This is time that was allotted to these storylines by canon, offering an expectation of meaning and importance, offering what results in a promise—not time the fans imagined or made up, not something they feel nebulously entitled to, but time they spent on plots the canon gave to them. (Cas means something to Dean after all these years and a love confession. Bucky means something to Steve after all these years and a snap. Jaime’s project of growth and his meaningful relationship with Brienne is something worth investing in.) But instead of saying, yes, you spent all this time watching these scenes, feeling these moments, taking this in—you grew with this character, with these relationships (grew in many cases away from the set starting point)—here is your promised meaning, again and again, these properties snatch the rug away and then pretend blithely they cannot understand why “entitled fans” are so upset.

I’ve been meaning to write my version of this argument for a while now, and I suppose this article is just as good a reason as any.

My thesis, in short, is that lack of queer representation actually isn’t what is creating ~the problem~ here. What’s creating the problem is the overriding power of heteronormativity as a kind of ‘trump’ story logic that is allowed to steamroller everything else into oblivion. (And yes, there actually is a substantial difference between those two things)

Sub-thesis 1: Representation Actually Isn’t A Strong Argument for Destiel (or any particular ship/character)

Controversial, I know. The representation argument (while an extremely valid argument as applies to popular culture in general) is actually not a very good argument when it comes to why Dean should be explicitly queer and Destiel should have been consummated.

For one, there’s no reason -- exclusively from the standpoint that it is a moral imperative that queer people are represented in media -- why any particular character or set of characters should be that representation. The ethical cultural mandate to represent marginalized groups does not mandate that any one character or set of characters in any particular given story be that representation*. Yes, even if you as a member of that marginalized group happen to identify with that character. Even then, it isn’t OWED to you. (I think writers should take those trends of identification seriously, and think about what it means to marginalized groups, and act accordingly. But I don’t think it creates an OBLIGATION)

*I’d argue the primary caveat to this would be in stories where the character’s situation or arc is directly related to struggles experienced by that marginalized group (i.e., casting mostly white actors in stories where those characters are experiencing racial oppression)

For another, if representation of queer characters were primarily dictated by fandoms, 90% of queer characters in media would be white, conventionally attractive men. (That might be overstating it a bit, but fandoms have serious biases when it comes to shipping and what kind of characters they latch onto for queer interpretation, and that’s one of the reasons I’m grateful queer representation is not primarily linked to our tastes/preferences).

The representation argument is a very valid argument when examining popular culture as whole, and when looking at broader trends for example, within a genre, or a whole network. But no particular TV show is obligated to make particular characters within it queer just because representation is a moral imperative as a broader cultural issue.

Sub-Thesis 2: Heteronormativity Creates Stupid/Badly Constructed Stories

The actual problem here is how heteronormativity creates a kind of trump logic that overrides coherent storytelling.

I’m not upset about what happened on Supernatural because I think we missed out on representation. There is actually plenty of ~better~ representation elsewhere, and there will continue to be more as time goes on. The representation issue is peripheral at best when it comes to analyzing what went ‘wrong’ with Supernatural.

The key issue here is that stories need to make sense, not just in terms of plot (although that matters), but in terms of character growth, emotional arcs, etc. The ending of Supernatural is bad because it treated massive pieces of character growth and one of the most significant emotional arcs of the whole show as if it was ultimately inconsequential -- which is bad storytelling and doesn’t make sense.

And YES, we are ‘owed’ stories that make sense. It’s not entitled to want a story to be coherent, because coherence is what makes a story a story, and not just a series of random meaninglessly assembled plot points/fictional anecdotes.

The problem is, Hollywood writers keep writing themselves into situations where emotional coherence basically requires an explicitly queer dynamic (or at least a strongly subtextual one), and then just being like...but these characters aren’t queer so we can’t do that. Instead, let’s end Steve’s arc by sending him back in time to live a heterosexual life with Peggy, disregarding the HUGELY significant plot points related to Steve/Bucky which grounded multiple entire movies within the MCU (Winter Solider, Civil War). Let’s end Sherlock by inventing a random, long-lost Holmes sister never remotely hinted at or foreshadowed and make that incomprehensible plot point the finale, when the entire series has been grounded in John and Sherlock’s relationship.

Let’s make it canonically clear Cas’s love for Dean is the one single act of pure free will in a world with a malevolent God trying to manipulate everyone’s lives for his own amusement, and that Cas’s love for Dean is the only thing keeping the primary story-universe of Supernatural intact, because every other version of Sam and Dean in every other universe kill each other as God intended. Let’s make it clear that Cas’s betrayal of heaven due to his love for Dean is literally propping up their entire universe, but then end the story by pretending like it’s not that important after all. Castiel who?

And it’s just like...THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! It doesn’t make fucking sense. It’s bad writing. So why would you do it? (I mean, I being a bit facetious here. I know exactly why. Because the precious feelings of homophobes will be hurt, and companies don’t want to lose out on their money)

It’s not entitled to want a story to make sense. It’s not entitled to want major plot points and character arcs and emotional dynamics to have resolutions that follow from what came before in the story.

And I’m sorry, but you are a ridiculous person if you watched Dean grieve Castiel’s ostensible deaths in s7 and s13 (both times becoming nearly catatonic, nihilistic, more self-destructive than usual, and borderline suicidal over losing Cas) and try to argue to me that his shrug-it-off attitude towards Cas’s death/loss in the finale makes any goddamn sense at all.

It is utterly inconsistent with everything that has happened before in Supernatural regarding Dean and Castiel’s relationship. It’s incomprehensibly incoherent and just stupid. (And that is just the absolute tip of the incoherence iceberg because to fully explain why the ending of Supernatural re: Destiel doesn’t make sense we’d have to review over 300 episode’s worth of content, and there isn’t time for that)

I’m just so sick and so tired of being asked to pretend to be stupid because you know, man, heterosexuality. They’re not gay!!1!

The exhaustion I feel, as a queer viewer, in fact is not borne out of lack of representation. The representation issue is very much on an upward trajectory and I’m not worried about the future of TV not being queer enough. I’m not.

The exhaustion and frustration and anger I feel as a queer viewer is borne of having to repeatedly watch stupid endings to good stories because the story can only make sense if you make it queer (you cowards). I’m tired of being asked to develop dumb amnesia disease in order to consume endings to stories that had to blow everything up at the end to (re)enforce a heterosexuality that can only stand on a foundation of utter incoherence and contradiction to monumental things that came before it.

I am JUST SO TIRED of being asked to sacrifice my intelligence, my basic logic and critical thinking skills, and my ability to remember basic narrative beats at the alter of almighty Heterosexuality, supreme ruler of all cultural output and destroyer of good queer things.

Heterosexuality isn’t owed my stupidity, and I’m not entitled for wanting stories to make sense. YOU are entitled for demanding my stupidity when you wrote that dumb shit and expected me to act like it wasn’t dumb simply because it was heterosexual.

No, the heterosexuality is exactly the reason it IS dumb.

#Supernatural #Sherlock #Destiel #Johnlock #Stucky #MCU

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forgiveness-in-the-misery · 3 years

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Arthur The Ventriloquist Penn is definitely not meant to be a parental figure to Oswald, despite that being said back when season five started by people working on the show.

The reasons for my disagreement being: Oswald already had a mom and a dad.

Oswald looked at Carmine Falcone like a father, he even to a similar yet mostly gay extent admired Jim Gordon. These things are important because Oswald has an obvious respect for men that he admires or sees as a sort of or complete father figure.

He treated Arthur like garbage, he treated him like he hated him most of the time. Which makes no sense if he respects him or sees him as a parent.

Arthur to me is an obvious Ed replacement, to a small extent in season four but to a much larger degree in the final season of the show.

Mr. Penn reminds me of Ed in the first and some of the second season of the show: both men tend to dress in a way that is bland, they stick to muddy colors that appear to cause them to blend in with their surroundings, their clothes often looking cheap, and ill fitted for their thin frames. Penn like Ed before he became The Riddler is socially awkward and often seems nervous, falling into being a “jittery loser” as Oswald referred to the Ed he first met. Penn just like Ed in the first half of season three cares possibly too much about pleasing Oswald and earning his praise and validation which we see primarily in season five, except unlike Ed he doesn’t get it.

Oswald loves Ed, he doesn’t love Arthur. Arthur is a pale imitation of Edward from the “good days” before Oswald fell in love and before Ed betrayed him.

With season four when Oswald finds out that Penn had been working for the Falcones he was pissed, but much like Ed pretending to help Butch in early season three it’s a soft betrayal especially because we know Penn had no real malicious intent. So we see Penn back by Oswald’s side, except being treated worse now.

I think Oswald took out a lot of his frustration and anger he had towards everything that had happened with Ed out on Arthur, he makes sure to never treat Arthur good like he had Ed, in fact he treats him like he’s not even a person. Just a thing that he owns. I’m not saying what they had was romantic and definitely wasn’t sexual, but the tensions and subtext of Oswald and Arthur feels like a romantic relationship, it feels like a twisted not right version of what he wanted with Ed. To live in city hall, the place him and Ed had once claimed before everything went to shit, running the guns and a good chunk of the city, even down to owning a dog albeit Ed definitely would not have let Oswald name their dog Ed. Except he isn’t sharing any of this with Ed, instead he has Arthur who seems like an older pathetic version of the Ed he had met years prior.

Even when Arthur dies Oswald isn’t incredibly upset, he’s bothered by it but it isn’t a death that haunts him because strangely enough Ed comes into his life soon after Arthur dies. Then when they settle into a new relationship we get an episode where Ed is annoyed by Oswald’s lack of commitment to building their submarine that Oswald named after his mother aka a way to claim it as his and his alone despite doing none of the work. The two bicker and Ed’s obviously hurt and upset by Oswald still after all this time being selfish and incapable of just being there when Ed needs him.

Then Arthur comes back with a puppet named Mr. Scar face and suddenly for me he’s a lot like Ed.

Ed became The Riddler because of Oswald and because of Oswald Arthur became Ventriloquist. Both villains have a personality disorder, both created an altar that is stronger and more bold than they themselves could be. Watching Arthur confront Oswald for the way he treated him, for the fact he didn’t even try and check for a pulse or heart beat or give him a burial but instead just left him there to be tossed onto the streets mirrors Ed’s season three pain at finding out Oswald’s obsessive selfishness lead to him having Isabella killed. What turned both men against Oswald were actions he took because he’s ultimately a selfish man.

I also like how Ed spends a lot of the time being irritated by Arthur and irritated to find out Oswald made another villain. That Oswald really hasnt changed. What cements Arthur as a rebound romance for me is that Oswald does end up faced with two men he had close ties to and hurt in different yet similar ways he confesses that he treats those in his life he cares about like shit. He treats people badly and pushes them away and he knows he’s doing it and he knows he’s alone because of the way that he is. As I said in another post, Oswald places people in boxes of what use they have to him, and a lot of times this results in those people hating him like we saw with Butch and Ivy and Barbara and Ed and Arthur. He could have had better and longer friendships or in Ed’s case a romance with these people if some part of his brain hadn’t slotted them in a box of “tool”.

The pentacle of this all being very gay and very much about romantic relationships is that after the puppet is....killed, Arthur is grateful to Oswald and also straddling his lap which is super gay, but also that Oswald seems like he would be willing to try to treat him like a person this time around....Then Ed kills Arthur when technically there was no cause to do especially because that could have triggered Oswald to turn on Ed. Ed explains Arthur was a lunatic and they needed to get rid of him, which I can’t argue with but Ed also is unpredictable in the same way as Ventriloquist. Ed explains that he accepts Oswald for who and what he is and that this thing of theirs works because Oswald accepts him as the trainwreck that he is. Oswald says maybe they are meant for each other and....all of that is gay.

Due to network interference it couldn’t be gay, but season five really drove it home as hard as they could. And Arthur was very very clearly a rebound romance and a placeholder until Ed came back into Oswald’s life.

Also just general shoutout to getting to see Ventriloquist in live action, like all of that was exactly how I would expect the puppet and character to look in real life.

#gotham #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the ventriloquist #arthur penn #nygmobblepot

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taeescript · 3 years

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IV. Script of the Angel (m)

𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰 >> This is the story of three very different people. A successful novelist, a blossoming artist and a dedicated cop. They seem to have nothing in common. Yet, they are continually drawn to each other. It is as if their fates have been intertwined. Written. That they must meet.

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 >> ft. jungkook and jimin primarily.

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 >> policeman!jimin, author!jungkook, painter!reader, serialkiller!XXX; a classic game of cat and mouse

𝔴/𝔠 >> 9.1k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 >> mature themes depicted. due to the explicit nature of the topic (serial killers, murders, violence, sexual content, infidelity etc.) this is rated 18+. to spare storytelling: please consider yourself warned. sexual content present.

𝔞/𝔫 >> another long chapter. sorry! the oc is as opposite to me as day is to night, but i have always enjoyed writing characters who are different. i feel like i’m being challenged to expand my own writing skills. as always, enjoy (: feedback and comments always appreciated. (i am curious: do you prefer long or short chapters?)

previous part || masterlist || next part

The taxi arrives much earlier than any of you anticipate. Jungkook is halfway through telling you about the unfortunate event of being kicked out of his rented room when the annoyed-looking driver quickly shoves you both inside. He asks you where you are headed. You lean forward and give him the address of your house. The driver mutters how the drive is less than five minutes away, but he accepts the job nevertheless. “How about you, Sir?” the driver asks Jungkook. Jungkook is at a loss of words until you intercede. “Same place,” you say. Jungkook gives you a confused look. “You said you don’t have any place to stay tonight so I’m extending an offer. Also, sort of like a thank you for finding and staying with me through this storm.” Your words come out much shyer than you had anticipated. He gives you a slight smile. “Are you sure it’s wise for you to invite a stranger to your house?” You blush. “You’re not really a stranger.” “Ah, I’m not? Well I’m a suspect to a murder case.” “No, you’re not! Jimin was only talking to you as a witness.” “A witness? He seemed a little too hostile for that.” As the conversation had carried on, you didn’t notice how close he became until you turned to come face to face with him. The small smile he always has continues to linger on his lips. You pull back and turn to hide the flush on your face that you know for sure is present. Once the heat seems to have left, you glance at him again. He is still regarding you with curiosity. Extending a hand towards him you say, “$10 per night. I’ll be your landlady and you’re renting a room from me.” He laughs and you can’t help but stare with wonder at how white and straight his teeth are.

...

The Body is a miraculous item of study. Inside, we have these little chemical messengers that act on receptors to tell us: wake! At the same time, they tell us: sleep! Just what are these chemical messengers that run around us like tiny men in a sleep-wake factory? First, when we are getting ready to sleep, Melatonin is produced in the pineal gland to send us a message telling us that it is time to enter slumber. Their levels increase as the level of darkness increases. Once our body is asleep, a surge of multiple hormones play a role. You have growth hormone from the pituitary gland telling (a child in particular) to grow and repair tissue; you have antidiuretic hormone (ADH) increasing so we don’t have to get up and pee in the middle of the night; you have oxytocin that may peak at about five hours of sleep influencing the content of our dreams. You wait nervously outside the bathroom door. You had both returned to your house and you had changed into a comfortable pair of sweats and a sleeveless top. Your hair was tied in a bun on your head; your scalp itching to remind you that it had been a while since you washed your hair. However, you had more pressing matters at hand. You had told Jungkook that he was allowed to use the shower first but after drinking one too many cups of water – your throat was so dry – you now desperately needed to use the washroom. The water is still running and you can slightly feel the heat escaping the warm room through the small crack of the door. It was ajar and the smell of your shampoo wafted out to meet your nose. It made you wonder if your shampoo had always been so sweet and inviting. As you are the only resident of the house, there had never been a need for multiple bathrooms and thus your only solution is to patiently wait outside until your guest is finished. After what felt like five minutes but in actuality five seconds, you take a small peek into the bathroom. The glass shower door has been fogged up and you can only see a very hazy silhouette of its current occupant. If you were to dash in and release everything in your bladder at a fast enough speed, perhaps Jungkook would never notice that you would be in there. Just as long as you moved fast enough. You wanted to weigh the pros and cons of this decision but your bladder would not let your mind concentrate. Before you could control your body, you rush into the bathroom. Everything but the feeling of pleasure from the release of the buildup of pressure in your pelvis is forgotten. You close your eyes and let out a satisfied sigh. When you are finished, you deftly stand and flush the toilet. You momentarily lean over the toilet, reveling in the new weightlessness of your body, when the realization of the scenario you are in hits you. You had just walked into a man showering in your house. Not only that, you had used the toilet while he was washing up (naked) less than a feet away. If you really didn’t get out of the bathroom now, Jungkook would definitely see you in here. If you really didn’t get out of the bathroom now, Jungkook would think you are a peeping tom. If you really didn’t get out of the bathroom now – It is too late, however. You hear his voice from behind you, “Well, this is a surprise.” You turn as slowly as you can. Jungkook stands with the white towel around his waist. He does not look much different than when you had seen him drenched by the rain, but this time you are able to smell the masculine scent of body wash off of him. The first time in the rain, you had been unable to help yourself and glance at his defined abdominal muscles through his soaked shirt, but this time you choose not to peel your eyes away from the sight. The gulp you takes makes its way slowly down your throat. “I needed to use the toilet really badly,” you somehow managed to squeak. He tucks the end of the towel into the side all the while looking at you with a teasing smirk. You do not need to look in the mirror behind you to know the shade your face has turned. “I’ll be going now,” you murmur and turn to leave the room. “Without washing your hands?” he teases you. As if he now is not regarding you as a full out pervert, he probably thought you as unclean as well. You can’t remember what you say in response to that as you shuffle to the sink. The water is warm when it runs out of the faucet. Your mind is unfocused on the task in front of you as you can only think of ways to escape or talk your way out of this situation. “How are you supposed to wash any the germs away if you scrub like that?” You feel his voice vibrate along your back. You immediately tense up when his arms wrap from behind around you. His hands gently take your slimmer hands into his own and together they move through the lathering actions. He pumps the hand soap and his lips become dangerously close to your cheek when he reaches in front. “Clean between each finger and the side of your palm. People often forget to wash the area around the thumb and most of their less dominant hand,” he continues to lecture you. “Just be still,” the plea to your body and mind only being silently voiced out in desperation. There is no extra cloth to wipe your hands dry and so he uses the towel around his waist instead. Each action he does only made you become ever more anxious and self-conscious. When he seemed satisfied with you, he lets you walk away. You will your legs to maintain its strength as you take the steps needed to exit the small steamy room. You are stopped again when he says, “Are you always so innocent?” There is a part of you that wants to turn to look at him, but another part warns you that if you do, a larger temptation will face you. He strolls to stand before you. His eyes slowly make their way from your toes to the top of your forehead; then his gaze holds you steadily in place. You swallow again under his scrutiny. Taking a step towards you, he slides a finger under the strap of you tank top. The simple action makes you shiver. “Tell me, how long have you been living alone?” Your mind tells you not to answer him. What are you doing anyways? Just an hour ago you were thinking about Baekhyun and now you are being consumed by Jungkook. “How long has it been since you’ve been… touched?” his question comes out barely above a whisper – that is how close he is to you now. “I shouldn’t – ” you words are suffocated by his kiss. His lips mold until they wrap around yours. Your eyes squeeze shut, and you fall into him with such speed that it scares you. You feel both dread and thrill in your stomach. He tastes warm, that is the only thing your mind is capable of detecting. Other than that, your brain can not function and you feel yourself shiver in his embrace. You wonder if he has his eyes closed as well or if he was looking at you. Perhaps if you opened your eyes you would have an answer to your question yet you felt afraid of doing so. He pulls you waist closer to him and the dew on his chest seeps through your thin top. His skin is warm, but the now-cold water causes your nipples to become erect. He can feel them straining through the top, but rather than having his hand rise up to meet it, he slides his hand deeper into your pants. Your body tenses up at the invasion. “Relax,” the single word slurs as they are passed between your lips. The suggestion comes in the form of a command and your body strangely listens. With his hand, he forcefully grips the left cheek of your behind and roughly presses you lower body into his. The simultaneous sensation of pleasure and pain runs through your body. His other free hand brushes the nape of you neck. Your hands act of their own accord, and you find them running through his hair, all the while as he tugs on your lips; all the while that you become wrapped in his embrace. Your fingers become brushed with water, and you draw a wet finger down the middle of his back. It is his moan you hear this time, and the thrill rushes through your body again. For the next few moments, the two of you are captivated with exploring each other’s body. You think that he is about to lift your shirt off when instead his hand slips through the barrier created by your underwear. You freeze again. His lips leave yours and trace a pathway until he stands behind you, and your back is pressed tightly against his torso. All the while, his hand makes a crawling rotation until they rest on you lower abdominal. You place a shaking hand on top of this. You don’t even notice that your fingers have become icy cold. “Trust me,” he whispers into your ear. His voice is so low that you mind barely registers what he has said. You heart rises in speed in proportion to his hand that moves out from beneath yours and continually slides downward.

...

You wake with a beating heart. Your eyes fly open, and they are greeted with the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars you had placed on your ceiling. It had been a dream. Your breathing fights to become regular again, but the more you think about what you had awoken from, the more it loses in its battle. You know it is all a dream, but why was it then that you still feel the pressure on you lower abdominal? With a crack, your mind finally reels out of its stupor and a new burn in your stomach causes you to flush again. The act of sex is not foreign to you. You had given that away to Baekhyun the night you realized you were truly in love with him – the night he had proposed to you. But that had happened a long time ago and since his disappearance, you had never given yourself to another man. The thought had never even passed through you. So why was it that you had these thoughts now? Towards a man that you had only just met? Also, how was it that he could make you do something like this? Your hand slides out from your underwear and the band’s near soundless snap practically hands you its embarrassing reality on a gold platter. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had touched yourself. The concept was always too taboo and awkward for you to embrace. You were also not a person that became aroused by sexual thoughts, yet a simple dream had made you lose control of your body. You wiped your hands on the bedsheets, and turn onto your side in bed so you would no longer feel the pressure of gravity on your already tense body. Jeon Jungkook. You only invited him at the spur of the moment. You had both returned home and wordlessly showered and got into bed. You had offered to make a simple meal but he had kindly rejected telling you that he was too tired. He had also jokingly told you not to worry about breakfast tomorrow as it was the least he could do in return for letting him sleep at your place. Continuing on, you told him that he was allowed to use your bedroom so he would be more comfortable but he had patted your small sofa instead. He always carried a pillow with him and told you he could fall asleep anywhere as long as he had it with him. You squeeze your eyes shut. Why? What was this? Who is this man that has barged into your safe house?

More importantly, what is he doing to you? You curl into a tighter ball and press your thighs closer together.

...

The scent of sweet in combination to savory fills your nose and sends a chill through your body. Your eyes remain closed, still infused with slumber but you bring the blanket closer to you. A small breeze sends another intoxicating spiral towards your nose. It smells like pancakes. Perhaps with a thick layer of maple syrup and a cube of butter. There is also something that reminds you of salt – bacon. Sizzling, warm, crunchy bacon. The distinct aroma of coffee is blended in there as well. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you open your eyes. You yelp. Jungkook nearly tips the coffee cup onto your drawer when the sound suddenly occurs. He looks down and sees your wide eyes staring up at him. He meets them but you quickly shift your pupils. You look… nervous. Seeing the unexpected visitor makes you remember the events of last night. Your palms start to sweat and you only draw the covers closer to your chest while sitting up. The corner of the sheet dips past your shoulder and he catches the flash of smooth skin. “Sorry to wake you,” he scratches his jaw embarrassedly, “I saw you were asleep and I promised breakfast. I thought I’d try to quietly slip in and leave it by your bedside.” You eye the said meal on your drawer and note that your nose had not lied to you. “It’s okay,” you try to say. However, your voice is groggy with sleep and so you clear it once. “It’s okay,” you say clearer this time, “But you really didn’t have to.” “It’s nothing. I’m an early riser anyways.” He makes a motion to leave. “Wait,” you call after him. He turns back to look at you. His gaze is piercing and the strange flush that never failed to make an appearance returns. “I’ll join you outside,” you tell him. Smiling, he nods. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

...

When you had left, Jimin had sat down at his desk feeling extremely dejected. He was supposed to protect you and make sure you never shed another tear. That was his promise to his best friend. Yet here he is, as the cause of your pain once again.

“Sir, the files you had requested.” Yoongi knocks on his door. As the youngest detective on the team, he is often coerced into doing the grunt work. But his tenacious and hard-working attitude gave him rise on Jimin’s list of people he respected. Jimin tilts his head to peer above the top of his cluttered desk. New files had been opened along with the scatter of older yellowing papers. His whiteboard is nearing a grey colour at the amount of times he has written things down and then erased them. Yoongi listens and is about to leave his senior alone but stops at the door. “Sir, if I may, will you allow me to make a comment?” the younger asks solemnly. Jimin turns to regard him. His eyesight blurs and he has to hold onto the corner of the desk to steady himself. Quickly masquerading the moment of weakness, he coughs and stands straight again. “You haven’t left the station in three days. You sleep at the desk and your back is in so much pain you shuffle to get coffee. It smells of Chinese take-out and stale pizza in here with another strange concoction of coffee and sweat.” Jimin raises an eyebrow at him. Yoongi clears his throat but does not waver in telling Jimin his mind. “Go home, Sir. You need some rest. The case will still be here when you return. It’ll also be of benefit when you return with refreshed eyes and mind.” Yoongi stands still all the while looking forward. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Jimin walking towards him. His mouth starts to become dry knowing the harsh words he will hear from the his senior for speaking out of place.

Jimin tiredly places a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi rotates his head in surprise. Sighing, he says, “You’re right. My body is on the verge of breaking down.” He sniffs once. “And I do smell like shit.”

Yoongi chuckles, both out of nervousness and relief.

“I’m leaving the team in your hands then,” Jimin grabs his jacket from the coat hanger.

“Me?” Yoongi says astonished, “What about Lieutenant Namjoon?”

The laugh draws more strength from Jimin’s lungs than he anticipates. “I haven’t seen that guy for the past three days in the station, and both you and I know I’ve been living here. You’re young, but I like your attitude. The others like you too.”

Yoongi cannot help but smile at the praise. He salutes as Jimin walks out the door. “I’ll do my absolute best!”

“I expect nothing less,” Jimin calls out and waves.

...

He had fully intended to walk home, but there are so many thoughts in his head he needed fresh air to wash out the stale one in his lungs and to clear out his mind.

Sitting at the park just a block away from the station, he takes a small bite of the cookie he picked up from the station’s café. It is sickening sweet and he wonders how he had lived on these cookies when he used to pull all-nighters for previous cases.

“I knew I’d find you here,” a voice interrupts his quiet.

Jimin looks up and sees Namjoon smiling at him. Namjoon’s hair is swept back and he is sporting a white polo shirt along with khaki pants. His police jacket is slung over his arm and hides his badge within. At a quick glance, Namjoon looks like any normal civilian enjoying the autumn afternoon.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Jimin lazily greets his friend.

Namjoon takes a seat beside Jimin. In one hand, he holds a brown paper back and this is what he extends towards Jimin.

Taking a peek inside, Jimin notes a container that has some type of potato salad along with another stacked container with mixed rice.

“Youngji told me to pass this to you,” Namjoon answers his unasked question, “We thought you could do without any more of the crappy station café food – full of MSG and sugar.”

The smiling face of Namjoon’s soon-to-be wife enters Jimin’s vision at the mention of her name. The two had recently moved in together and there were days when Jimin felt envious when hearing about Namjoon brag about his fiancée’s skills in the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Jimin says.

“I’m not slacking on the job by the way,” Namjoon says.

“You’re not? I don’t recall seeing you in the office for the past couple of days.”

“I got called into a meeting with the board of directors. They wanted an update on this Angel Killer.”

“Angel Killer, huh? Quite original.”

“Not my call on what we name the perps.”

A lull in the conversation comes to as Jimin caves into the meal set before him.

“Not a spinach and green bean casserole, I see,” Jimin jokes.

Namjoon laughs. Starting from a few weeks before, Youngji had gone into a fascination in preparing green foods. The entire floor soon came to understand that Namjoon would be eating the same casserole for his next few meals.

“I convinced her out of it,” Namjoon says with a grin, “Told her that she already spoils me with all her other cooking.”

Jimin chuckles along with Namjoon. He digs his fork into the meal before him. The taste of food that did not come from a can is such a welcome sensation to his body he can’t help but sigh.

“Youngji’s a fantastic cook.”

“One of the best.”

“Well, here’s to you forever gaining weight.”

Namjoon comically nods and rubs his belly.

“Well, Y/N’s a pretty good cook too. The pasta looked delicious the other day.”

At the mention of your name, Jimin falls quiet.

“You know, I understand you better than you think. That look you have, Jimin. I can see that the case isn’t the only reason you’ve been trying to keep yourself busy and inside the station. We all saw Y/N leaving the station the other day.”

“I guess that also means you all saw how upset I made her.”

Namjoon takes an inhale followed by a slow exhale. “Stop me if I’m prying too much, but what happened?”

Jimin takes an even deeper sigh. “She found out that I’m still looking into Baekhyun’s cases after all these years.”

“Ah,” was Namjoon’s simple response.

“I mean, I’m not doing anything wrong, am I? The reason I’ve never given up on finding the truth is to find some closure for myself. For her… For the both of us.”

Jimin means the words he says, but when he hears them from his own mouth, it feels strange.

“Well… what if closure for you doesn’t have the same definition for her?”

Namjoon’s comment make Jimin tilt his head in confusion. “What do you mean?” he asks.

Namjoon stretches out his legs in front of him. The park has quieted down as most of its visitors have returned to work after their lunch break. Only a couple of people still remain, but they are scattered so far around the park that none of their faces could be made out.

“Closure for Park Jimin means to discover the truth. Closure for Y/N might be simply to accept that her fiancé’s gone. She was in so much pain when he disappeared and it took her forever to even leave the house. Her first steps out were because of you. The reason she has the strength to move on today is because you’ve constantly been by her side. Maybe the reason she’s been able to accept that Baekhyun’s no longer with her is because she sees that you’ve accepted it as well.”

“She saw the files that indicate that perhaps Baekhyun was murdered.”

Namjoon’s next sentence becomes lodged in his throat. He closes his mouth then opens it again but only to have it return to its previous state. At last when he finally finds what he wants, he says, “That complicates things, doesn’t it?”

Jimin closes the food container and returns it back into the bag. In the time they had been talking, he found that he had lost his appetite. His two thumbs press against the sides of his temple and gently massage it in circles.

Everybody knows how much Jimin cares for you; some even think that the extent of it is due to Jimin’s secret crush on you. But Namjoon knows the reason why. He can’t help but look at his colleague and friend with sadness. An ancient promise that causes anguish to those in its pact.

Placing a warm hand on Jimin’s back, Namjoon leaves it there for comfort. “Is that what you believe? That Baekhyun is gone because he was murdered?”

Jimin shakes his head. As if the thoughts in his brain could not get any more complicated, the simple question makes things worse. “I don’t know, Namjoon. I have absolutely no idea. I’ve been working this case for years now, but everything always comes up to a dead end. A part of me wants to believe that Baekhyun simply decided to walk out of his old life to start a new one and he’s alive somewhere out there. Yet another part, the detective part, can’t ignore the knowledge that maybe something bad did happen to him that night. That’s why he never returned.”

“Did you uncover anything new?”

“No. Not for that case.”

Namjoon doesn’t say a word. He can sense something else in Jimin’s tone. He is unable to tell if Jimin says what is on his mind as the conversation is redirected.

“What did the directors say about Sara Michel’s case? I’m assuming that’s why you went to meet with them.”

This time it is Namjoon’s turn to furrow his brows. Namjoon had never truly wanted to become Lieutenant. Jimin knew that Namjoon had been offered the position because he first had turned down the offer. Namjoon never expressed any bitterness about it; no, instead he had said he had been thankful. Namjoon had always said how he wanted to become Lieutenant before asking Youngji’s hand in marriage. When they spoke, the only frustration Namjoon ever expressed was the unexpected amount of responsibilities that came with this new position.

“They want to know if we have any new leads. As they say, if we don’t have anything by 24 hours, the case is as good as gone. If there really isn’t anything then they want us to wrap it up. File it as another unsolved case and focus on the new big project: the whole deal we’ve been working over at with the Narcotics Team.”

“The drug related gang suicides, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We can send a couple of guys over.”

“That’s the thing though. The Board doesn’t want a few guys. They want the entire team on board. Agent Hoseok’s barely keeping above the waves with this one. HR is breathing down his neck as apparently, some well-known powerful figure’s gone missing because of this.”

“Guilty?”

“Likely, but since he’s clearly an influential guy, the Missing Person’s unit might be dragged into it as well. His lawyers have also been stalking out at the station in case anything does come up. It’s going to set the whole station into turmoil.”

Politics. Jimin hated it all. If someone was guilty, he believed that they should see the justice they deserved.

“So what should I say to them?”

“Huh?”

“The Board. You’re the one who’s worked the Sara Michel case the most. What should I tell them about our progress so far?”

Jimin bit the inside of his cheek. Progress… Did he have that? Perhaps, but at the end: speculations. That is what they are. He couldn’t take the chance. “Tell them we may have something. Try and deter them from trashing this case. Be ambiguous.”

Namjoon waits to see if Jimin would further elaborate but the other doesn’t speak again.

“Alright,” Namjoon says, “But you will keep me updated on whatever you find, right?”

Jimin nods.

Namjoon knows that the conversation is over so he stands. Stretching, he rolls his neck once and then follows it similarly with his shoulders. “I’m going to head back to the station. Go home. Get some rest.”

“None of you want me at the station, huh? I stink it up too much?”

This earns him a grin from Namjoon. “You’re the brightest mind we have on the team, Jimin. But right now it’s shutting down right in front of my eyes. Recharge it and return when you’re ready.”

Jimin nods again and lifts a head to say goodbye. Then, he is left to his own thoughts once again.

...

She runs. Fast.

He looks down at the three words. They are the only things that fill his laptop screen after he hits enter. Writer’s block: something he didn’t quite enjoy. That was why he liked to move around so much when he writes. That, plus the fact that he can see his subject clearly.

The girl is thin and wiry but the definition of hard deltoid muscles are outlined by the afternoon sun. He enjoys a challenge and she might be one.

Dane observes her like the hunter might to his prey. He notes down everything - from the pathway she takes to the speed of her jogging. Everything is important.

What a contrast she would serve compared to pretty Ms. Michel. Now, where should he display her this time?

Everything must be chosen so that it meets perfection. She is a prancing antelope that dances unknowingly for the lion. Man is an animal after all. We all belong in the Wilderness.

His eyes look up from his script and watches as the girl stretches once she reaches the bench. She is bent over to catch her breath and she wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. A small device is wrapped around her arm and she touches it to presumably change the song. Her black and blue leggings contrast with her lighter skin. Once she has rested enough, she jogs a couple of times in place before going forward and then turning the corner out of his sight.

So pretty and elegant. He wants to wrap his arms around her, and feel her pulse between his fingers. He wants to make her into his next angel.

Dane is patient. He is willing to wait until the right opportunity. He will see to it. Unwritten.

This is the third time at the park, but each day that he has arrived, she is also there. He did not need to be a rocket scientist to know that this must be her daily route. Soon, he will be able to continue on his story.

...

Jimin could not understand why, but after that day with Namjoon at the park, he found himself returning to it quite often. He would make excuses to grab a coffee, but would then find himself wandering back to the bench. He enjoyed the quietness the small area offered. It allowed him to gather his thoughts in peace before returning to the hectic environment of the station.

After allocating time spent of sitting silently under the warmth of the sun, Jimin finally stands. The park is much quieter now as the remaining people have also left. He gathers the brown bag with leftovers from the local bistro and starts stretching his legs. From the corner of his eye, he notices that somebody is running.

There is not enough time for him to get out of her way and she crashes into him the moment she turns the corner. The impact is not great and she merely stumbles back in shock.

“I’m so sorry,” he bows in apology.

She is out of breath but she shakes her head and bows as well. “No, it’s my fault! I’m sorry I didn’t see you!”

He waves it away and they share another awkward laugh before the girl in the black and blue leggings smiles and continues on her route.

Bending to pick up the brown bag he has dropped on impact, somebody else captures his attention. That person is someone he cannot seem to forget and even this slightest sight of him causes Jimin to scowl.

He is able to recognize that jacket from anywhere – that grey jacket this man wore the day he walked into the police station. He is currently sitting on a bench nearly halfway across the park. Jimin shouldn’t have been able make out any facial features at his distance, but he swears that the man’s eye follow a runner down the path.

The other man seems engrossed with something on his laptop. His eyes never seem to leave the screen and Jimin is unable to tell whether Jungkook is typing or whether he is watching some type of video. Regardless of what he is doing, Jimin has already decided that it is not good.

About to walk up to him, Jimin suddenly stops in the midst. It is not because somebody else has bumped into him or that he is caught up in another thought.

No.

It is because he recognizes the second figure that appears from behind the first.

...

The previous writer’s block disappears as fast as it had appeared. His fingers are now flying across the keyboard as he continues to write the perfect plan. In fact, he is so captivated by the growing paragraphs that he does not notice when another figure appears from behind.

“What are you doing?” your voice startles him.

He whirls around and snaps his notebook shut. You stand behind with a slightly surprised expression on your face. He is able to tell because your large eyes are wider than usual, and your mouth makes a small “o”.

Time had flown by so quickly that he had forgotten he was supposed to meet you at 1:00pm. Quickly checking his watch, he sees that the time is 12:50pm.

“You’re here early,” he notes. Scooting over, he then pats the seat next to him. You timidly follow his instructions and sit down beside him. The scarf you wear loosens as the wind blows and you fix it once.

“I was just in the area. Do you like croissants? I bypassed a popular bistro on the way here and bought us some.” You hand him the small box. “I know croissants are unexpected from a place like that, but I can promise you – they’re really good!”

Jungkook peeks in the box. Packaged in rows, there is a set of treats in chocolate, strawberry cream cheese and plain.

“Sets of three,” Jungkook mumbles.

You look up at him. “Sorry?”

He gives you a small laugh, yet minute as it is, it still makes your heart tumble. “A set of three. I like working in sets of three,” he tells you. Jungkook opts for the original.

You wait until he takes a bite before a smile breaks across you face. “Good, huh?”

He nods, crumbs falling onto his laptop. He brushes them away before they can dirty it further.

“What did you want to meet me for?” he asks you.

From the strangely shaped bag you had brought with you, you take out a wooden stand and a large piece of rolled paper. He watches as you set up you easel and clips the paper to the side. It is blank.

“I come here often to paint,” you explain as you take out another small bag that is filled with sketching tools, “I think it’s so beautiful here.” You don’t add that you had chosen this place because when Baekhyun first disappeared, this was the closest you could be to Jimin without actually bothering him at the station.

“So you called me here to watch you paint?”

“Sketch, actually. Today I’m here to sketch but in a couple of days I should be able to paint.”

Jungkook leans back in his seat. He sees that a new light has taken over your eyes as you take everything from the park into memory. Your pencil twirls in your fingers. Another small gust of wind blows the scarf away from your neck.

Over their time together, they had become so used to being in each other’s presence that you no longer shy away from him. There were moments when you would be reminded of the first night he stayed at your house, but believe you are not one to dwell in the past so you quickly forget it. At this moment, he is drawing the collar of your jacket up and fixing your scarf so that it would no longer loosen.

While he is helping you, you continue to talk, “You know, ever since I saw you, a feeling has been itching at me. I kept thinking that before bumping into you at the station, I had seen you before! Now I know. You were the guy who thought I was a street artist!”

Jungkook’s fingers falter as he sets them back on his lap. He does not move. What was it you had just said?

“I was at the square near my studio that evening. It was particularly nice. I remember a small ensemble playing classical music too. You had been the one to knock over my canvas.”

No. It was not him.

“Wait. It wasn’t you. It was the lady you were with!” When you remember, you gasps.

Jungkook turns when he hears you. There was not supposed to be a single person that could have remembered him with Sara that night. That was never part of the plan. When he turns his focus on you, there is a look of shock and realization. A fire begins to burn in his stomach.

You hold your hand to your mouth. You can see that Jungkook is staring at you and the guilt eats away inside. You should have seen it coming. He was a handsome, intelligent and skilled man. He had showed up out of nowhere. He was also a stranger to the city. The two of you had met outside the station. Of course he could not be here simply because of work.

He must have been here with his girlfriend.

And they had bumped into you that night on their date.

“Y/N, what is it?” Jungkook asks gently.

You sets the pencil down on the easel. “That woman you were with… That’s your girlfriend, wasn’t it? Oh my god… if she were to know that you’re staying with me right now. She would probably think that I’m some girl who is trying to steal her boyfriend.”

Your face only reddens more when Jungkook’s laughter echoes around the park. It lasts for quite a while and you do not know whether you are feeling humiliated or angry at him laughing at you.

He catches his breath and smiles widely at you. “That wasn’t my girlfriend. She was someone I was meeting for the night.”

“For a date?”

“No. For work.”

You do not know why, but you breathe a sigh of relief. “Well, I also remember you liking my painting. Do you remember?”

He gives you another smile. “Sorry, Y/N. I don’t.”

Disappointment makes your chest ache. Never good at hiding your emotions, it makes him smile again when he sees the obvious frown. He places a hand over yours. “I’d still love a painting though, if that’s what you’re offering this time.” It is infectious, that is what his smile is. You take you hand away from beneath his and regard the quiet scenic park again. “Do you like this place? Should I paint something for you here?”

He nods. “I’ll like anything you paint for me, Y/N.”

You blush at the way he says it so matter-of-factly. Looking up, you scan the surroundings once again before a large shadow rushes towards you and grabs your wrist.

You are hauled up to your feet roughly.

...

Seeing you so casually walking up to that man made him mad. But it wasn’t that which made him practically race across the park. No, it was the combination of him fixing your scarf, laughing with you and then taking your hand. He cannot allow such a thing to happen.

“Jimin!” you yelp, the pain cutting through your wrist. It burns and you feel as if somebody had dug a knife into your skin to split your bones.

Jimin has momentarily forgotten your disorder as he is blinded my rage. How dare Jungkook be sitting beside you like the two of you are friends? This man may be involved in a murder case. He may as well be the only suspect.

“What are you doing here with him?” Jimin demands.

You can barely get the words out – that is how tight Jimin is gripping your wrist and hurting you.

Jungkook is still seated, but upon seeing your face turning bright red and perspiration beading your forehead, he stands. “Detective Park, I believe you are hurting Y/N.”

His words are a cold splash of water on Jimin. He quickly releases you and you whimper while holding your wrist. He reaches towards you, but you draw back, closer to Jungkook.

“I’m so sorry,” his apology is gushes, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You rub your wrist. You know it is not broken, but the pain lingers still. You gingerly rotate it before shaking your head. “I’m fine. You took me by surprise though.”

Seeing the discomfort in your eyes, Jimin instantly feels guilty. The first time he sees you after the fight and he manages to hurt you again. “What are you doing here?” he asks again. He wants to add “with him” but he did not think it was appropriate.

“I was meeting Jungkook. I wanted to do some sketches for a painting.”

He hated your causal use of the name. He hated it with such a passion.

“Detective Park, it’s been a while,” Jungkook extends a hand.

Jimin clenches his jaw but grabs it and shakes it forcefully. “Mr. Jeon,” he says through his teeth.

You can detect the hostility between the two men. You knew Jimin didn’t like Jungkook but you couldn’t see his reason why. Jungkook had only ever been nice to you. Really, Jungkook was one of the nicest people you know.

“Why did you need to meet him to do sketches? I didn’t even know the two of you knew each other,” Jimin begins interrogating.

You falter. You had been so caught up in the previous few days you had forgotten to tell him your new housemate. Truth be told, the whole situation is so unusual for the two of you because you would talk to each other nearly every day.

“I’m temporarily living with her,” Jungkook says, unable to resist the temptation. He has already calculated and anticipated the change that would occur over Jimin’s face once he says those words. He knows that it would affect you more, but there is a type of satisfaction in seeing the rage that spreads over Jimin’s face.

It takes everything in his already weak power to hold his emotions in. Heat is already flowing to his face in which he could not control, but he could still stop the explosion of curses from leaving his mouth.

Your mouth is opened ajar once again. All the worse scenarios are running through your head.

Jungkook sheepishly rubs his neck. “Oh, this is awkward. I thought you had told him, Y/N. You two seemed so close.”

Oh yes. It is absolutely delightful in seeing the impact of his words on Detective Park Jimin.

“I – ” you start, “I didn’t get the chance to yet. Um, well… Jimin…. Jungkook is staying at my place for now. He has no other – ”

“We need to talk,” Jimin interrupts you.

You open your mouth and close it again. “Okay,” you say timidly. You start to walk towards him.

“Grab your things with you,” Jimin says sternly.

You want to refute his words but there is a sort of silent anger you recognize. You send Jungkook an apologetic look before packing away your easel and paper. Jimin waits for you and you quickly whisper, “I’m sorry,” before going away.

The two walk away like a father leading his disobedient daughter. Jungkook can only watch with amusement at the new turn of events.

...

“You’re living with him? You’re living with him? You’re living with him?!” You hear Jimin repeat the series of questions again. Your finger lightly taps your thigh and you note to yourself: the sixth time. That was the sixth time he asked the same question.

Jimin had thought for a long time on their walk to the station of what he could say. Countless words had been flying through his mind however he just couldn’t seem to find the correct ones to string together. That had led him to only repeat the one fact he is being faced with: You are living with Jungkook.

You sigh. “Yes, Jimin, I’m living with him.”

“How could you decide to do that without talking to me about it?” he explodes at last, “You barely know this guy and you invite him into your house? He’s a criminal. He’s a murderer.”

This makes you frown. Your eyebrows crease together and even your pretty face cannot hide the ugliness of your anger. “Park Jimin,” you start sternly with his name, “I don’t think it’s fair for you to make that assumption. I don’t even think you should be making that assumption.”

“Still, the two of you are living together!”

You sigh again.

Jimin stops in the middle his pacing for a second to collect his thoughts. “Fine. But what makes you think you know him enough to decide whether or not my assumption is fair?”

“Well, what makes you think you have enough power over me to stop who I’m living with?”

“I have a responsibility for you, Y/N! I don’t want you to get hurt. Jeon Jungkook is dangerous!”

“There you go again! Making another assumption! Why are you even saying this?”

“You know exactly why. It’s because – ”

“If you say that it’s because of your gut feeling I’m going to walk away right now.”

He pauses. “I just know, alright? I have evidence against him.”

“Show it to me, then.”

Presently, the two of you are arguing inside Jimin’s office. The blinds have been drawn, but the glass door is definitely not enough to hide the increasing voices. Jimin rummages through the multitude of papers and files on his desk. His thoughts are once again jumbled. He is unable to think straight at the moment and it makes him forget where he has put the files in the first place.

“You don’t have it, do you?” you accuse, “You just hate him. I don’t know what your reason is, but that’s mean. Jungkook is a good person. He takes care of me.”

Your tone is filled with exasperation. You did not enjoy when things did not go your way. Neither did he. That is the reason why the two of you tend to avoid conflicts by not being involved in each other’s personal matters. This time, however, Jimin needs his stance to be known.

“You’ve known this guy for what, two weeks? What do you mean ‘he takes care of you’? He barely even knows anything about you.”

You do not bother to correct Jimin that it has in fact been less than that. “He’s taken care of me more than you have alright?” you stab him with the words. Your face flushes the moment they leave your mouth.

Jimin’s next words are so calm, they border on hostility. “More than I have, you say? Please, enlighten me.”

“He… He supports me. He’s there for me when I need him. He’s… He’s…” With each stutter, you can feel yourself losing this fight. Pride and rage cloud your judgment, and nonetheless, you throw out your last attack, “He doesn’t try to convince me that my fiancée was murdered.”

His eyes become hard.

There are tears wavering in you eyes and you tell yourself not to blink such that they would not fall. “You tell me to try and move on after Baekhyun’s disappearance. You tell me that it’s for my own good; all this pain and guilt and frustration at losing him… You’re just as guilty, Jimin. You’ve never put Baekhyun behind you and now you’re saying something as ludicrous as him being murdered. I won’t accept it.”

He hates seeing you cry. He hates it so much. He hates it enough to contemplate easing up on your decision to live with this stranger.

No.

Walking away from you, he digs through his jacket pocket and produces an extra set of keys. He had learned to carry this around with him since knowing you. He never knew when you needed to come by and borrow his house keys.

“Take this,” he places the keys into you palm and curls your fingers around them, “When you’re done with this tantrum… or whatever this is, come home. I understand that Jeon Jungkook needs a place to live, so rent out your place to him. But I cannot have you staying alone with him. You are to live with me while he is an occupant there.”

You scoff at him, incredulously. You grip the keys in your hand before slamming them soundly on his desk.

“I am not a child,” you solemnly say, “You cannot control me like this. I am a free to make my own decisions, and I will do what I want.”

With that, you spin on your heels to exit the office. Your pulse is racing as you turn to face him again. You avoid looking directly at him but stare above past his forehead. You are afraid that if you see his expression, you would falter.

“I respect your decision to not like Jungkook. But if that’s the case, and as Jungkook is living with me, you are free to never come by my place. We will not welcome a guest who only has the intent of unsound accusation.”

You end the argument with that and stomps out the door.

...

Jungkook is waiting for you outside the station as you leave. You are so blinded by your emotions you nearly miss him until he grabs your wrist and causes you to yelp.

Immediately, he retracts his hand. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

You still want to yell at somebody, but Jimin’s injustice towards Jungkook stops you from screaming. You rub you wrist that is still sore from being grabbed previously. Adjusting the strap of your canvas on your back, you continue to walk forward.

“He’s so unfair,” you whisper.

Jungkook catches it.

“Nobody ever asked him to look out for me. I would have been fine,” you say.

“He cares for you,” Jungkook says gently.

You do not want to hear the words. Still, it is not like you can ignore them once they’re heard.

“He is worried. I am a stranger, and a man. Unfortunately, society has a stigma around single strange men who sneak up to a female to offer his phone while it is pouring rain in the middle of the night.” He tries to make a joke with you. Thankfully, it works as you lightly laugh.

“Well, still. Jimin is being stubborn. He has prejudices against you; ones that have no basis.”

“Let me guess. He thinks I’m dangerous. He thinks I might hurt you. With my involvement in his case, he might even think that I’m a suspect.”

You do not want to answer.

Jungkook stops you from walking. Your strides have been short but only increasing in speed. He is no longer sure if you even know where they are walking. With one hand still on your shoulder, he says with a soft voice, “He has every right to think so, Y/N. We have only started to get to know each other We both have secrets that we have yet to reveal to each other. Perhaps I am dangerous. Perhaps I may have the intent to hurt you.”

You look into his eyes which steadily hold you own. “But you won’t, right?”

He smiles at you. “Of course not.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” you say with resolution, “That’s what a relationship is built on. The slow accumulation of trust towards the other party. I don’t care if you have secrets, Jungkook. If you ever do want to share them, I will listen. But at the end, you don’t have to. I want to know you as you.”

He nods. Now with the rollercoaster of emotions within you coming to an end, you are able to see that the weather is beautiful that day. There is the soft melodious chirping of birds from all around you, and the streets are not busy as people have yet to be off work. A warm patch of heat is on your back as the sun greets you between the clouds.

Jungkook is quiet beside you for a while, until he says out of the blue, “Jimin really loves you.”

You whirl to regard him. “Jimin doesn’t love me. He is only tasked to look after me.”

His eyes soften when he looks at you again. He doesn’t follow up with anything, only turning his head back forward.

The speed of your heart’s beating rises slightly at his comment. You do not understand the purpose of him saying that. You do not understand what led to him to say such a thing.

“Jungkook,” you call out.

“Mhmm?”

“I still want to paint a picture for you. But I don’t think I can right now.”

“What do you mean?”

You had stopped walking beside him. He notices that and stops as well. When he finally turns to look at why you had stopped, he is greeted with the image of you standing with your wrist in the air. He sighs in concern and takes your wrist gently.

“Alright, let’s get you home,” he says kindly.

...

next part

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scope-dogg · 3 years

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Mobile Suit Victory Gundam: Final Thoughts

Victory Gundam’s a series I’ve long been interested in watching before its return from its long SRW absence finally gave me the reason to go ahead and actually do it. Prior to watching it, the word-of-mouth I’d got from it was mixed. Apparently its reception at the time it was new in Japan was less than enthusiastic to the point that it effectively killed off UC Gundam as the mainstay of the franchise until relatively recently. Yoshiyuki Tomino, the creator, famously hates it and has even supposedly asked people to avoid watching it. Yet on the other hand I’ve seen fans praise it as one of the best Gundam series.

Ultimately I think it was a messy show - it was subject to budget issues and executive meddling and at points it really shows. Yet despite that there’s some really good stuff in here - enough that at least for me the time I spend with it didn’t feel wasted by the time I was through.

The plot setup is that in UC 0153, the Earth Federation is weaker and less effectual than its ever been, and a new militant spacenoid faction calling itself the Zanscare Empire seeks to take advantage of their vulnerability. They follow their queen, the newtype healer Maria Harmonia, and advocate to throw down the old order hitherto dominated by men and start a new matrilineal system bealt on motherly virtues. However, their methods aren’t in keeping with these values, as they make liberal use of the guillotine to execute dissidents and those who oppose their armed forces. While the Federation stands by idly, it falls to a civilian-led paramilitary force called the League Militaire to oppose the Zanscare Empire. One day, a skirmish between Zanscare forces and the League in Europe pulls a young man living in an illegal settlement named Uso Ewin into the fight, and he ends up piloting the League’s new mobile suit, the Victory Gundam, into battle.

As soon as you start the series you already see the beginning of executive meddling interfering with the plot. It starts in media res in the most confusing way possible - initially the Victory Gundam wasn’t meant to debut until after 4 episodes, but that wouldn’t do for the gunpla merchants at Sunrise, so the show begins with Uso getting into the Gundam and then spending the next three episodes walking it back and explaining how he got there. It’s the kind of opening that has you questioning if you’re watching the episodes in the right order.

Thankfully it does eventually get on track and it starts to get fairly good, although most viewers will likely be curious about what exactly the state of the world is - in particular, who the Zanscare empire actually are and what their plans are. Anyone with even a slight understanding of UC Gundam will be able to figure out that they’re similar to Zeon just from their aesthetics and MO, but the show doesn’t really open up with more detail for a fair while. There are other portions where the plot can’t seem to decide which way it wants to go and keeps walking back on itself, and as such there are times when there’s a serious lack of focus. As such, the overall plot isn’t especially compelling apart from those moments where it does sit down and focus for important flashpoints, most notable at the end and the segment at roughly the half-way point.

That said, it’s not like there’s no reason to watch even during the segments in between those. Victory’s got a large and fairly colourful cast of characters who are fun to watch interacting with one another. Uso, the protagonist, and much of the primary supporting cast are very young even by the standards of the franchise - Uso is 13, a record that wouldn’t equalled until Gundam Age aired. Despite this, the show doesn’t pull any punches, but the way he and his young comrades handle it makes him an easy character to root for. Much of the adulting supporting cast and characters amongst Zanscare are interesting as well, with a bunch of little dramas playing out at any one time, even though sometimes it can descend into melodrama, and sometimes characters exhibit odd behaviour.

The overall tone is one of the things this series is most notorious for, with it being considered the darkest, most brutal and depressing entry in the franchise. Honestly, I wasn’t really feeling that. Yes, there are a lot of character deaths in this show. Some of them are cruel and senseless, and they’re spread out fairly evenly across the series, meaning that it’s not afraid of delivering a gut punch to the viewer early on. But on the whole I’ve seen a lot worse. I felt like Iron-Blooded Orphans had a lot more senseless character death, and while it’s not hard to find tragedy in Victory there was nothing that felt as brutal as, say, Kamille’s cruel fate at the end of Zeta or the aftermath of colony gassings. If you look at some of Tomino’s other works outside of Gundam you can find far worse - look no further than the endings of Dunbine or Zambot 3, or the cosmic nightmare ride that’s Ideon: Be Invoked. I won’t deny that there is an air of cynicism and despair to Victory at times, apparently because Tomino was suffering especially badly with depression while he was making it, but I’ve seen a lot worse and I think its reputation has been exaggerated a bit. In fact, sometimes I’d say it goes to far in the opposite direction, with strange humour and a lighthearted tone in spots that doesn’t really fit the series’ narrative as a whole.

Still, ultimately I found more that I enjoyed than I didn’t in terms of the plot and tone, even if there was plenty that could have been done without. As for the presentation, the level of quality wavers but on the whole it’s pretty good, at least compared to its predecessors. Things do occasionally get rough when the budget clearly got tight, and you could probably find some better looking shows from the early 90s, but on the whole it’s quite good looking. Sound and music are pretty middle of the road, with nothing really standing out but nothing offensively bad either. There’s some excellent mechanical designs in here, especially the Victory and V2 Gundams that are in the starring roles - the V2 in particular is one of my favourite Gundams, and is probably the design that established Hajime Katoki as one of the masters of the mechanical design arts. On the other hand, Zanscare’s mobile suit design is often very eccentric with mixed results - it’s another thing this series is pretty infamous for. Some designs are genuinely brilliant, but others are just strange, like the serpentine Doggorla, and the overall strange obsession with putting giant tires on everything, including mobile suits meant primarily for use in space. Overall Zanscare design is a bit of an acquired taste.

Ultimately this show was somewhat of a mixed bag but was still watchable. It was the same kind of up-and-down viewing experience as ZZ Gundam was for me, just more towards the other end of the tone scale. It’s hardly mandatory viewing, as it’s not really all that connected to anything that’s come out either before or after, and it’s definitely not a good first-time entry for new Gundam viewers, but it’s probably worth checking out once you’ve got the main UC entries under your belt.

#victory gundam #mecha #respect the robot

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

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The Critique of Manners Part IV

~Or~

A Very Amused Review of Emma (1972)

One doesn’t really know where to begin with this one. I’ve watched a few of these 70’s/80’s period drama adaptations, but I’ve never written a review for one. I think the tricky thing is it doesn’t feel fair to judge them against more recent adaptations because the approach and quality are so very different to modern television making.

But people do. I’m sure it’s different for people who grew up watching these, who are just used to them and their objectively terrible, stagey quality and can look past that particular weakness on the sheer power of nostalgia.

So I’m going to try and find a middle-ground here where I ignore the stagey and obviously dated aspects and judge it primarily on its value as an adaptation – is it faithful to the book?

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

Normally I would start with Emma and Knightley but this time I’m gonna switch it up a bit and do them last because… well we’ll get there in a bit.

Let’s start instead with Mr. Woodhouse. I have to say, I kind of like this take. The 1996-7 and 2009 adaptations all kind of went for the same type of older man: a bit stout, or in Michael Gambon’s case… however you would describe Michael Gambon. With Donald Eccles, however, this version goes for a rather more frail looking Mr. Woodhouse; in fact to compare him to any recent Mr. Woodhouse, I suppose he comes closest to Bill Nighy (although the general characterization is of course very different.) He’s a ridiculous but lovable soul who seems always, of course, worried about his own health and comfort, but in his own selfish way, concerned for his friends and family as well. My only complaint is that maybe they over-utilized him.

I thought the casting of a plump Mrs. Weston (Ellen Dryden) was an interesting choice, and definitely different from other versions. Her acting was actually really good too.

I wasn’t quite so pleased with the characterization of Mr. Weston, on the other hand. I have huge issues with this script vis-à-vis the men, but Mr. Weston and Knightley in particular. The problem with Mr. Weston is how he’s written as just verging on uncouth at some points. There are way too many rustic contractions here: “Ain’t I looking well too, Miss Emma?!’ “’Ark at that eh? The sly young rogue!” “Oh I think it looks tolerably gay and festive, don’t it?” and then just throwing himself back on the grass and chortling when Emma makes her fateful Box Hill faux pas? Like, what the hell? I’m not saying he shouldn’t use a few casual contractions (“How d’you do?” for example) but he seems almost like a positive country bumpkin and I don’t think it’s appropriate; he doesn’t talk like that in the book and I’m just all-around not here for it.

Constance Chapman, a well-respected character actress of the time was cast as Miss Bates, while Molly Sugden, of Are You Being Served? fame was WASTED in the bit-part of Mrs. Goddard. If you ask me, they should have swapped this casting, since I think Sugden, an outstanding comedienne, could have done so much more with the Miss Bates role than the usual wittery-old-lady style chattering Chapman delivered.

Mr. Elton was played by Timothy Peters (Right) and was, eh, adequate. They did slime him up a bit by having him over-eagerly offer to fix Emma’s bootlace, which she points out isn’t entirely appropriate for a man to do, especially the vicar and it’s pretty funny; but other than that, he has all the appearance of being a pleasant young man, as Mr. Elton should – becoming less pleasant as the story progresses.

One John Alkin (left) played Mr. Robert Martin, and he, too, was adequate. There’s not much of him and, since Mr. Martin wasn’t one of those characters this version decided to approach more three-dimensionally, there’s not much to say about him.

Frank Churchill is… OMG IT’S PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER!

Ahem. Yes, Robert East (BETTER KNOWN AS PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER) plays a very agreeable (and smarmy, but not too smarmy) Frank. I think honestly this is as good as this part could get in the 70’s, although at 29 he was a little too old for the part.

John and Isabella, in an interesting (?) casting choice, were played by brother and sister duo, Yves and Belinda Tighe. I actually really liked Yves’s John Knightley (he’s actually one of the more handsome John’s, in a 70’s kind of way; for note-taking purposes I have nicknamed him “Not-Harrison-Ford”), but his sister as Isabella seemed kind of old and had just a really annoying voice. Also she doesn’t look at all like Doran Godwin, and Emma and Isabella are supposed to look somewhat alike.

The real casting stand out for me in this version is Fiona Walker as Mrs. Elton, although she too was a little old for her role, I’ve said before that there are no bad Mrs. Eltons (only bad accents) and she just absolutely nailed the insufferable chatter to a definitive standard (until the recent adaptations – 2009 onward).

I did however, get the feeling in this version that they kind of wrote in a through-line where Mrs. Elton is putting the moves on Mr. Knightley (to the point where they actually wrote out Mr. Elton from scenes he should be in) which was one of those unnecessary deviations which made me raise an eyebrow and also was just… weird.

Now my question is – why do all of the young women in this series kind of look like evil dolls?

Debbie Bowen, from a strictly book accuracy perspective is one of the most accurate Harriet Smiths I’ve seen – in fact we don’t get another this accurate (to my way of thinking) until Louise Dylan in 2009, who fits roughly the same model (fair and shapely). Its Bowen’s acting I don’t like, but I know that in the 70’s, this kind of simpering acting for this kind of character was just unavoidable. It was the style at the time, so I’m cutting her a break critically; but the performance just doesn’t cut it for me.

This Jane Fairfax (played by Ania Marson) is not my favorite interpretation of this character. At first I thought she was going to be alright, but in her first scene she bursts out and actually shouts in frustration at her chattering aunt (which she has some basis for, I’ll admit, since Miss Bates, in her muddle-headed way, could very well have unwittingly spilled the beans about Jane and Frank) but this is far more feeling than we should even have a hint of from Jane at this point. The whole reason Emma doesn’t like Jane (other than the fact that Emma is an attention whore and Jane steals her thunder by being so admired and accomplished) is because she’s timid and demure and reserved.

But the biggest problem I have with this Jane is that she can’t even fucking sing. I know they write it away as her having a sore throat (Which I think is a pull from a different part of the book?) but this was just egregiously bad to me. This is the only time in the series they show Jane singing so it’s never actually established that Jane really is more accomplished than Emma (although they don’t show Emma herself singing or even playing at all either.) Could the actresses just not sing well so they decided to write around it? You could have dubbed it; you had that technology in the 70’s!

OK. Now it’s time to talk about Doran Godwin. I’ve never seen her in anything else so I don’t know if it’s just that she can’t act, but I have no idea what she was going for with this portrayal of Emma, and this is something so consistent and unique to her that I, for once, can’t justify blaming it solely on the director because you can’t direct crazy-eyes. They just happen; and they happen A LOT in this series.

I’ve struggled to find the words to sufficiently describe my feeling about Doran Godwin’s facial expressions and her acting in this adaptation. In my ribbon rating notes I think I describe her as a “witchy automaton”? I stand by it. Every time she talks to someone her eyes go very wide and she sort of looks like she’s trying to hypnotize everyone in Highbury. The effect is just absolutely inhuman. I never thought I’d ever see anyone with more patently crazed Crazy-Eyes than Timothy “Crazy-Eyes” Dalton – but man, Doran “Hypno-Witch” Godwin just stole the prize. Perhaps she escaped from the set of a Doctor Who? telling of the story where Miss Woodhouse has been replaced by an android.

You have scenes such as this in episode 2 , where Harriet is trying to get Emma to acknowledge Mr. Elton calling after them as they walk past the vicarage, and Emma ignores her by mechanically continuing to talk, looking straight ahead with laser focus. Of course, Emma is intentionally ignoring Harriet because she wants Mr. Elton to follow them, but that wasn’t quite apparent to me until the end of her ramble – which I had assumed she was forced to complete due to some directive in her programming. I have more to say on her characterization, but we’ll get to that in a dedicated section of the review.

John Carson might actually be one of the better Knightley’s, but I’m sorry – at 45 he was just too old. This is something you can play around with in other characters (Mr. Weston and Miss Bates after all, have no stated ages in the book) but not only do we know how old Mr. Knightley is in the book, they state in the show that Emma is 21 (Doran Godwin was actually 28) and that Mr. Knightley is sixteen years older than her – 37 or 38 – and John Carson is CLEARLY no 38. This obviously-over-forty appearance does have an effect on how I view his banter with Emma, and it’s more avuncular than the older-brother feel that Mr. Knightley and Emma should have.

Whether by direction or actor’s choice, Carson’s Mr. Knightley speaks in a way that just doesn’t feel period to me. He has a very sort of 20th Century, stock British, hearty-good-fellow manner, that dates this adaptation pretty badly and feels old-fashioned (but not in a Regency/Georgian way) even in the 70’s.

Sets & Surroundings

Normally at this point in the review I would talk about the British manor houses and estates used and how they measure up to the book descriptions but the publicly funded BBC ran on a much tighter budget in the 70’s (apparent in the production values and number of obviously bad takes that they just decided to leave in, in everything they made) and as such they couldn’t afford to film in and rent out large estates quite as much, so this has the trademark 70’s/80’s BBC sound-stage quality of all of their other productions of the period. That said, this production actually has some of the better sets I’ve seen and that’s saying something, for being made in the 70’s. The walls didn’t actually shake when doors were closed, and it didn’t feel as stagey as some other Austen serials of the time. (This doesn’t improve the very “on-cue” acting in the series, but I have to give credit where it’s due.) I believe they may used a real manor house for the exterior of Hartfield (and not a landscape pastel) and maybe some of the interiors too? I can’t say for sure, and I would love to tell you what house and where it is but I can’t find any credits on it. I’ll just say that I think it’s very suitable and leave it at that.

Costumes

Much like today, the BBC almost exclusively used, re-used and rented costumes for their period productions. Almost every costume in this series was also used in the 70’s and 80’s BBC productions of Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice (P&P being the overwhelming common denominator – almost every one of Emma’s evening dresses and pelisses was seen, primarily on Caroline Bingley.) Some of the shawls have been picked out in BBC Austens as recently as 2008.

For being made in the 70’s the costumes in this production are really kind of nice. They don’t date themselves too badly. The ones that do feel 70’s retro, in fact, were mostly styles borrowed from period accurate fashions that just happened to coincide with contemporary 70’s tastes, and which aren’t often used in Regency costumes today because, well they don’t coincide with our modern tastes. For the most part, they look well-made (although some of them do have that stiff, dingy polyester look to them and there are definitely some plastic pearls here and there).

I’m quite pleased with the silhouettes which don’t suffer from Square Bust/Boob Droop syndrome the way the 1980 P&P does. All of the assets seem to be lifted and shifted in the right places.

Daywear

I like Emma’s blue day dress the best of all her day-wear looks. It’s a rich color and has pleated cups (Also on her white day dress) which is a style I really love.

Emma wears the gauzy… let’s be kind and say ivory instead of “Yellowish” ruff during the day A LOT (Emma Pic 2). It’s a popular look on Jane Fairfax too (Jane Pic 2) and I just… I don’t like it. Not that it’s not period appropriate (because it unfortunately is) it just makes them look like Dr. Seuss characters to me, especially worn with short sleeves which is something these dramas do a lot and I hate it. It just makes the person in question look very awkwardly disproportionate to me, especially because. if they had long sleeves to go with it (which would be more correct from a historical authenticity standpoint) it would even it out so much better. Compare Jane and Emma to see what I mean. The single layer ruffle (Emma Pic 1) is much more agreeable to me. (I wanna point out that Jane wears the same green dress without any partlet or undersleeves for strawberry picking at Donwell, which is blatant Eveningwear-For-Daywear™ and looked really out of place since everyone else was wearing day-appropriate attire).

Emma’s wider, cuffed, long sleeves and Mrs. Elton’s puffy segmented Renaissance sleeves are exactly what I mean about period accurate styles that suit the 70’s in a way that they just don’t jive today. Even Harriet gets some.

Mrs. Elton Orange ™ is another crayon color Crayola should consider I think.

Harriet gets stuck with a lot of brown outer wear but her day clothes are otherwise pretty nice. I especially like the ivory and blue number (Bottom right) and her white day dress with blue accents (Top right) which I think is the nicest thing she wears in this whole series.

Evening Wear

Emma’s evening wear confines itself pretty exclusively to cool purples and blues except for her white ball gown. I find this interesting because other versions tend to dress Emma in warmer colors and pinks (As I’m very partial to purples and blues, I love all of them). I can’t say it’s inconsistent with Emma’s cold characterization in this version. Mrs. Weston’s evening gowns are uniformly amazing. I especially love her blue party dress, which is my favorite in the series.

Both of Harriet’s party dresses are characteristically pretty and girlish. The pink is a bit fussy for me but I love the blue one (which has a lot more detail but I couldn’t get a full length shot of it.)

I’m pleased that Jane is given a bit of a break from the Jane Fairfax Blue ™ trope with her evening wear. She has one light blue evening gown and gets a few green numbers, most notable being her mint ball gown. Her beige party dress is absolutely tragic though.

Mrs. Elton’s evening color seems to be chartreuse (Which I think was also the case in the ITV version? ITV fans back me up.) Her black overlay/spiky number is iconic of the Austen Bad Girl, but her ball gown is a bit disappointing in its simplicity to me.

I would love to have seen a full length shot of Isabella’s black and purple number because I have a suspicion THAT would have been my favorite but I just can’t make out enough detail on it.

Zig-zag patterns on the skirt are a huge theme in this version, which is so of the period. Mrs. Cole (shout out to another future Are You Being Served? familiar, Hilda Fenemore) looks straight out of a fashion plate in her dark green party dress, which has (drumroll please…) a padded hem!

Outerwear

This version has SO MANY PELISSES AND REDINGOTES. Are they all nice? No. No they are not; I particularly hate Emma’s fugly salmon number that she wears for Strawberry picking/Box Hill. Mostly because she looks SO over-dressed compared to everyone else who’s wearing loose fitting light clothes (except Jane, who’s wearing an evening dress). Just looking at her makes me hot. I’m also NOT a huge fan of her pink winter cloak. The one trimmed with… faux ermine? One can only assume. It looks awfully tacky.

That russet pelisse tho! This is one of my all-time favorites. It’s SO. PRETTY and so detailed (See this number on Jane in P&P ’80). I think her gray fur-trimmed pelisse is pretty fabulous too, but I do not like the hat she wears with it. The brim is kind of a funky shape to me.

I know I’ve criticized brown before, but I do like it in moderation and this version is astonishingly brown-free for being made in the 70’s, so I really like her red/brown velvet spencer, especially with the cream dress and gloves, and her hat has some amazing decoration.

Jane and Mrs. Weston are the only other characters who get pelisses/redingotes. I’m not a fan of Mrs. Weston’s fuchsia number, and while I like Jane’s, it does put itself solidly in the Jane Fairfax Blue™ category.

Harriet gets pretty much only one form of outer-wear, her brown school cloak (a different brown school cloak from the one in the ‘97 version, in case you were wondering) and while it’s pretty dull, it’s hardly unexpected. Here it is paired with her rather ugly blue bonnet, with yellow ribbon. The bonnet features heavily in this episode.

To be honest for the most part I totally forgot about the…

because a lot of it is very standard. No dandy standouts here, but overall it’s pretty okay and I’m really pleased to say that there are no bib-cravats. That’s not usually so much a problem in Regency Era stuff (Since ruffles were going out at around this time), but you can really distinctly see that the ruffles (where ruffles there are – usually on older men which is good) are part of the shirt and distinctly separate from the cravat. Also there are LOTS of high collars and they’re not comically high to the point where they get wrinkled, like they were in Emma. (2020), so points for that also. These are the screencaps I gathered going back over it for posterity.

Mr. Knightley doesn’t really get a lot of cool outfits. His best is his purple velvet evening jacket which somehow manages to not look ostentatious (but is his only dress jacket), and his gold-topped Prussian boots (which you should just be able to see bottom right.) The worst though… I’m sorry, (looks up costumer’s name) Joan Ellacott – do you really expect me to feel the weight of Emma’s cock-ups when Mr. Knightley is rebuking her in such a cartoonishly proportioned top hat? It’s like being scolded by the Mad Hatter. All of the men’s hats are pretty flared in this series too, and I’m not totally sure but, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that flared top hats are not right for this period?

I think Mr. Weston only has one day outfit (which, in keeping with his characterization is pretty farmer-chic) and one evening outfit. Frank’s dark green day-jacket is a pretty standard look on him and I don’t think we get a fresh look until his fabulous blue jacket/yellow waistcoat combo that he wears for Strawberry Picking/Box Hill. I believe his evening jacket is also dark green but it was tough to tell. Again I think he has only one set of evening-wear. I would expect Frank to have more, since he’s such a dandy.

Mr. John Knightley doesn’t have much to write home about in terms of evening kit, but DAYUM, his blue traveling coat is DOOOOOPE.

Let’s Talk Script

This adaptation was directed by John Glenister and Dramatized by Denis Constanduros.

Now I’ve seen a lot of positive reviews for this on IMDB calling it the… let’s see here… “The best Emma I’ve ever seen” and “The most true to the novel”… *Takes off spectacles and sighs heavily* I’m afraid I have to disagree. Several people also really love Doran Godwin’s Emma (We’ve already gone over why I don’t, and I have also seen reviews that name her and her lack of charisma as the main sticking point preventing them from really enjoying it, so I’m not alone). I’ve also heard it described as “sensitively handled” “Intimate” and “The most faithful to the spirit of Austen” and so forth, and again maybe it’s that prejudice against the stagey production and… no there’s definitely some other reason I have a problem with this version.

Let me make this clear – I don’t totally hate it, and I’m not here to shame the people who really love this version. Once again – if this version gives you what you want from the story I think that’s great for you. I, myself, like it pretty well and I think it’s one of the better early BBC Austen serials. It’s certainly not boring; but I do want to go over some of the changes that were made and choices in the script.

Some of them aren’t really that egregious, but they’re annoying in that I think they didn’t need to be made and don’t really add anything. Characters being added to scenes where they didn’t need to be and written out of scenes where their presence was missed. Like writing Mr. Elton out of Box Hill (And really the whole second half of the series, to facilitate Mrs. Elton flirting with Knightley), and adding Miss Bates into the after-dinner scene, I think at the Randalls Christmas party? I’m sure this was done for expediency but you have six episodes. It’s not as though you’re strapped for time.

Particularly praised, as far as I’ve seen, is the scene at Christmas when Knightley and Emma make up after their argument over Harriet. It takes place in the nursery, which I suppose isn’t an unreasonable place for Emma to be fawning over her niece (in the dramatization she seems to have been feeding the baby, where in the book she is playing with her). The book doesn’t specify where the scene takes place, although I assumed it to be a downstairs room, and I’m not sure that it’s entirely appropriate for Emma and a man (even one connected to her family through marriage) to be alone in an upstairs room together with the door closed and no more chaperone than a baby. But in spite of this, perhaps inappropriate, level of privacy, the scene feels less intimate to me than the book, where in the course of the conversation, where Mr. Knightley takes the baby from Emma “in the manner of perfect amity” and holds her himself and it is very adorable and sweet. In the dramatization, Knightley sort of just stands next to Emma’s chair and leans down a bit. After this conversation in the book, John comes into the room to talk to George, while in the show Emma puts the baby in the cradle and they leave the room to go downstairs.

But there are more outstanding changes that just feel wrong to me. When confronting Emma about her meddling in Harriet’s response to Mr. Martin’s proposal, Constanduros changes “What is the foolish girl about?” to “What is the stupid girl about?” it’s not that big a change, but it makes Mr. Knightley sound unnecessarily mean.

I’ve already mentioned the, er, additions regarding Mr. Weston’s dialogue and Mrs. Elton, and Jane shouting at Miss Bates; but by far the biggest, worst additions were made with Emma. The worst, I think, is the handling of this scene in Episode 4 when Harriet is feeling heartsick following Mr. Elton’s marriage.

And for those of you who don’t wanna follow the link, here’s a transcription:

Emma: Now Harriet! Your allowing yourself to become so upset over Mr. Elton’s marriage is the strongest possible reproach you could make to me!

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes it is! You could not more constantly remind me of the mistake I made, which is most hurtful!

Harriet: Oh Miss Woodhouse, it was not intended to be!

Emma: I have not said “think and talk less of Mr. Elton” for my sake, Harriet, because it is for yours I wish it. My being hurt is a very… secondary consideration, but please, please Harriet, do learn to exert a little more self-discipline in this matter.

Harriet: {Looks down} Yes, Miss Woodhouse.

Emma: We are all creatures of feeling; we all suffer disappointments, it is how we learn to suffer them that forms our character. If you continue in this way, Harriet, I shall think you wanting in true friendship for me!

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse! You, who are the best friend I’ve ever had? Oh what a horrid, horrid wretch I’ve been!”

Emma: Oh now Harriet – (She’s gonna console her now, right?)

Harriet: Oh yes, I have, I have!

Emma: Harriet, control yourself! (ha ha bitch, u thought) Now, you will tie your bonnet, and you are coming with me to call on Mr. And Mrs. Elton at the Vicarage…

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes you are! And I’m sure you will find it far less distressing than you think.

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse, must I?

Emma: Yes, Harriet; but you may borrow my lace ruff if you wish.

Harriet: Oh may I, Miss Woodhouse? Oh, thank you!

(Look how evil she looks! She looks like she’s planning on baking Harriet into a pie!)

While this scene is in the book and much of the dialogue is also from the book, it’s the lines that were added that stick out to me. Emma does tell Harriet that her allowing herself to become upset over the Eltons is a reproach on Emma more than anything else and reminds her miserably of the “Mistake [Emma] fell into” but from this point, the script takes a left turn from the firm but kind appeal to Harriet to move on for both her happiness and Emma’s own comfort, to a far more manipulative strain.

Even after Harriet apologizes, she goes from simply appealing to Harriet to let herself move on, to basically telling her that she’s a bad friend. She treats Harriet like she’s unreasonable for feeling this way, where in the book Emma is very understanding and feels that “she could not do too much for her; that Harriet had every right to all her ingenuity and patience…” and only after Harriet goes all afternoon with Emma soothing her and no improvement in her spirits does Emma take any kind of reproachful tack whatsoever.

In this scene, Emma says that her own happiness is a secondary consideration (this is stressed much more in the book) but from the way she says it, it seems more like she just wants Harriet to shut up about it rather than actually meaning it. (This is a very prominent example of Emma’s not seeming to really like Harriet at all in this version, only tolerating her presence.)

AND THEN she does something which Emma in the book most certainly did NOT do and forces Harriet to come with her to visit the Eltons, as if to put her on the spot and test how good a little friend she will be. I can’t express how disgusted I am by the changes and interpretation here. This is the culmination of the general through-line of Emma’s manipulative characterization being taken to an extreme. She looms over Harriet sounding, by turns, like a school marm and a saccharine nanny. She’s like a (very) low budget version of Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia.

My question about all of these changes is simply: Why? They don’t improve the story or the characters. They’re not big, but a lot of them just strike me as weird and unnecessary, but I guess there’s no accounting for artistic license.

Final Thoughts

So is it a faithful adaptation? I often find this a more complex question to answer for myself than one would think, since inflection and line delivery and even, at some points, intention behind what the characters say tends to be up to the interpretation of the person reading the book.

Is the dialogue faithful? Other than the many changes I’ve mentioned (and the numerous cuts and edits I didn’t – and besides no screenplay can be 100% faithful), for the most part yes.

Are the characters accurate to description / faithful in their portrayal – again this tends to be subjective and opinions vary. In my opinion, Emma is not. I’ve mentioned that Knightley is too old, and Emma not only seems more intentionally manipulative than I believe she’s meant to be, and also just does not seem 21. She acts and looks like a much older woman, especially when preaching at Harriet) but she’s also very gawky, and Emma is supposed to look very healthy and glowing.

So my book accuracy rating meets in the middle at a 4.5. It’s NOT the most faithful adaptation I’ve seen, nor is it the most fun or the most intimate, but it’s not totally a travesty either and there are good things in it, even with a robot witch playing the main lead.

Ribbon Rating: Tolerable (43 Ribbons )

Tone: 4

Casting: 5 (Witchy automaton Doran Goodwin plays opposite avuncular good-fellow John Carson. Fiona Walker stands out as Mrs. Elton.)

Acting: 5 (Doran Goodwin is by turns crazed and mechanical with some momentary touches of what might be actual emotion. Raymond Adamson way over-acts Mr. Weston as a hobbeldy-hoi, verging on uncouth.)

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 4

Cinematography: 4 (A bump up from the usual 1 or 2 for TV dramas of the time. Surprisingly less stagey than expected.)

Sets and Settings: 5

Costumes: 7 (Very clearly of the 70’s but drawing on perfectly accurate styles that jived well with contemporary taste)

Music: 1 (Plinky, poorly played piano music. Only used for intro and outro I think? Jane Fairfax can neither play nor sing.)

Book Accuracy: 5 (They changed a lot of small details. Lines are changed unnecessarily (Calling Harriet “Stupid” rather than “Foolish” – Why?) Mrs. Elton seems to have a thing for Knightley? People present when they shouldn’t be, others absent when they should be present, again without any apparent reason.)

#jane austen emma #jane austen #regency #period drama #costume drama #emma 1972

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safarigirlsp · 3 years

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Can you please do some Hcs about like a scale of how your men rank from Daddy to Sub?? 😋

Good afternoon!

So, I’m very not into Subby men, Daddy Kink, or extreme power dynamics on either end. As such, I’m probably the wrong person for this ask lol. I can refer you to some other writers who do a great job with these themes if you like.

I personally HC all my guys as having fairly dominant alpha personalities, but also as guys who will treat you like a Queen. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be writing for them lol.

Here’s my ranking of most to least dominant within those parameters. For me, it primarily boils down to who’s going to the the most outward or agressive.

Kylo

Kylo is as big and powerful as they come and he’s learned well how to use his strength to take whatever he wants. He’s agressive, violent, fearsome, and he revels in it. He knows his reputation and he loves it. He’s earned it, after all, through years of fighting his way to the top. However, with you, all of that strength and power is used to protect you, never intimidate you, and to give to you, never to take from you. You’re the only thing he values in the world and he’s happy to be your loyal knight, slaying dragons in your honor. He will delicately kiss your cheek after slaughtering men with his bare hands. He will exert himself as fully when it comes to making you scream as he will for hours on end raging through enemies. And he never feels more powerful than when he makes you shudder from his softest touch.

Flip

Flip is the ultimate alpha male. He’s a very straightforward no bullshit kind of guy. He can walk into any situation and take control effortlessly. Whether it’s a gang of bikers, a roudy barroom, a bickering police unit, or the bedroom, he just naturally commands respect. He’s very capable of being agressive and using his size and strength to get things done, but he rarely needs to because he exudes dominance. It takes a special kind of idiot to look at Flip and want to challenge him. If someone is stupid enough to push him over the edge, they’ll find out real quick that he has a hell of a temper, a mean right hook, and he’s more bite than bark. However, because he commands respect and authority so innately, he very rarely has to demand it. He loves that you stand up to him, he loves playfully sparring with you, and he loves knowing that when he gets his hands on you, he always makes you incoherent with pleasure. You’re all too happy to lay back and let him take care of you.

Clyde

Clyde is ex special forces, which means he’s seen a lot of pain and hardship and he was tough enough to handle it all, in addition to being trained both to kill and to restrain himself. He runs a rural bar, which means he’s seen plenty of drunk and rowdy corn-fed country boys trying to start trouble, and he can handle it single-handedly. Pun intended. It’s a mistake to assume that Clyde is nothing more than a cuddly teddy bear because he’s soft spoken. Sure, that’s what he is behind closed doors with you most of the time. But let some poor bastard make eyes at you or, worse yet, do something that poses even the slightest threat to you, and the grizzly is quick to jump out growling. He’ll always treat you just right, too, whether you want a soft cuddle or you want to be mauled like an animal between the sheets, he’s equally adept at both.

Pale

Pale is outwardly agressive to almost everyone. He rants and yells and hollers even when he’s in a good mood, usually intimidating the hell out of everyone in the vincinity. He is in a position of authority in most of his interactions because he’s the manger, the boss, the high roller, so he rarely has legitimate challenges to his dominant position and has little need to throw his weight around more than he does inherently. He’s not afraid to bust some heads if he needs, but it doesn’t usually get that far. He loves to spoil you, lavish you with gifts, pretty things, and copious orgasms, like no other man could. He’s just as brash and agressive with his affection for you as he is in every other aspect of his life.

Charlie

Charlie loves being in control and having things his way. He can be downright domineering. However, he rarely if ever allows things to escalate to something physical. Not because he’s not capable- he’s a big strong man and he knows it. Rather, it’s because he feels he’s more dignified than having to resort to physical methods of de-escalation. Such things are beneath him. However, he craves authority and he always secures it. Sometimes that’s by mentally jousting some arrogant psuedo-intellectual into stuttering shame. Sometimes it’s by smacking your ass until you’re dripping all over his lap through the fine lingerie he gifted you before reminding you exactly why you want him to be in charge just as badly as he wants it for himself.

Dan

Dan isn’t shy about taking on an entire branch of government by himself, working tirelessly to ensure his work sees the light of day. He goes toe to toe with committees, politicians, and agents. He’s no shirking violet. He’s not afraid to do anything and everything that’s necessary to get results. He even plays by the rules because he’ll always be the bigger man, and he’ll still win in the end. Even when constrained by rules and procedures, he still gets heated and passionate. He loves that with you there are no rules. He can be completely unrestrained and he never has to hold back. And he never does hold back with you. Whether he’s slow and passionate or taking out a day’s frustration in your body, he always gets the reward of your sighs and moans, knowing that pleasing you is one of his greatest talents.

#my writing #writing requests #best #fic #kylo #flip #clyde #charlie #pale #dan

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asteroiideae · 3 years

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okay, so I don’t make these kinds of posts often because tbh I’m a little lazy and very tired like 24/7 lmao but I’ve been seeing a lot of Pride reading lists hit my dash (and they’re excellent, and I save them all!) buuuut reading books is still a roadblock I’m struggling to mentally overcome -- and audiobooks are great, but they take 84 years (sometimes literally???) to get through. so! I thought I’d share a (very tiny) list of the queer manga I’ve read this year that you might enjoy for Pride, with some descriptions/trigger warnings/thoughts to go with them. so here we go in no particular order other than where they sit on my bookshelf:

What Did You Eat Yesterday? by Fumi Yoshinaga

okay so I know I go on about this manga at literally every presented opportunity, but I honestly just can’t help myself??? as a thirty-something queer adult, I really love the quiet maturity of this relationship between Shiro and Kenji; especially when it’s highlighted by references to shenanigans of their youth, and the ways in which they are still growing as both individuals and a couple. I’ve only read the first six volumes but I’m OBSESSED.

Status: Ongoing (17 volumes; 15 translated) Summary: Shiro and Kenji are an established adult couple with separate careers and interests, whose relationship is depicted over the meals cooked for them by Shiro. This doesn’t have an overarching plot, which might be off-putting for some readers; each chapter can be compared to a fanfic one-shot, usually containing it’s own tiny storyline or theme. It’s literally just domestic moments and meals shared between these men. Warnings: While I didn’t personally have a problem with this, younger readers might find some of the dated terms offensive. If you’ve spent any time with older queer folks (older as in 45-50+) this won’t be anything you aren’t used to, but if your experience of queer folx skews younger or online, you might get taken by surprise. There’s also some internalized homophobia; and by some I mean quite a bit. Shiro’s personal arc (at least in the first six volumes) heavily revolves around how much he closets himself and tries desperately to pass as “normal” in Japanese business culture.

Boys Run The Riot by Keito Gaku

holy shit holy shit holy SHIT. this story is so good??? so VERY good??? I was a little cautious, and a little bit uninterested in a story about teens (only because I’m in my thirties and crave more adult representation,) but I was VERY WRONG to be. Boys Run The Riot is beautifully drawn, beautifully written, and probably my favorite work on this list. the mangaka is also trans so the inherent understanding and nuance of our protagonist’s experience is really lovely. Also featuring a fantastic brotp between a trans boy and his new himbo bestie; no seriously if you want a story about a trans boy getting to have good broships with other boys his own age I CANNOT stress this enough. Volume two is releasing next month; I have it preordered. I’m laying on my floor wishing for time to hurry the fuck up. I need more of this smol angry trans boy and his big soft himbo bff. PLS. Status: Ongoing (4 volumes published; 2 translated) Summary: Ryo Watari is a second year high school student who is trans and struggling to feel comfortable with his very rigidly structured life at school, at home, and among his friends (to whom he is not out.) By chance he meets Jin Sato, a cis boy who also feels outcast (often judged for his appearance without any deeper thought.) When Ryo comes out to Jin in a state of frustration, Jin accepts who Ryo is and makes an offer -- why not start a fashion line that subverts all the expectations that have been put on them both; why not express themselves even when they’ve been told they shouldn’t. Warnings: Ryo is struggling with gender dysphoria, and it is written by someone who has probably experienced it, so it might be a little real for any trans folks who deal with that. Also, while neither the narrative nor Jin misgender Ryo (at least, not once he expresses to Jin that he is a man), Ryo is not out to anyone else and so he frequently is misgendered at school and we see how badly that impacts him and the way he views himself and processes his emotions. Ryo spends a lot of time being angry and trying to swallow it down, and that can be very raw to witness at times. There is also a depiction of unsafe binding (though the mangaka has an immediate note about binding safety, and goes further in-depth at the back of the manga.)

Our Dining Table by Mita Ori

okay, so I was a bit on the fence about whether or not I wanted to include this as a rec, but I decided that it might actually been what someone wants or needs, so here it is! while I really enjoyed this concept, and I’m always a sucker for found family stories (let me tell you I’m queer without telling you I’m queer, much?) it feels like this story is a bit rushed at times, and the romantic relationship between our protagonists is very blink and you’ll miss it. I don’t even want to call it subtle so much as it is just not remotely the focus of the story so it’s a little startling when it happens. but! if you’re looking for a story about adults processing grief and trauma together, and learning how to care for another person (and as a result, learning how to care for themselves,) this is a nice read that isn’t too heavy! Status: Complete (one volume) Summary: Yutaka is a salaryman whose past experiences prevent him from reaching out to others, even through something so simple as sharing a meal. Despite this is REALLY loves to cook, and wishes he had a reason to do it more often. Then he meets Minoru, and his muuuuuch younger brother Tane (it’s like a 17 year age gap between the brothers?) and finds himself teaching them how to cook, and overcoming his fear of eating in front of others. Warnings: Good news, there’s no overt homophobia in this story! Bad news, the other trauma makes up for it! We have a lot of trauma surrounding parental death, childhood bullying, and adoption; in addition to an actual fear of eating in front of others.

Our Dreams at Dusk / Shimanami Tasogare by Yuhki Kamatani

this is the first manga series I collected, and I’m still very pleased about that. the art is ABSOLUTELY stunning? the use of visual imagery and surreal analogies to explain queerness is fucking on POINT. I cried so hard during a couple of these volumes I developed a migraine. I only have one piece of critique on the whole thing (addressed in the warnings,) and I intend to do another re-read when I’m ready for the catharsis of sobbing into my pillow again. Like Boys Run The Riot, Our Dreams at Dusk is drawn and written by a member of the queer community (a non-binary mangaka, this time,) and as a result it hits pretty fucking close to home in a lot of ways. while I really love this series it’s super not for the faint of heart, you WILL come out of this reading experience with some things to unpack. Status: Completed (4 volumes; 4 translated) Summary: We mostly follow Tasuku Kaname, as he is outted at school by a classmate as being homosexual, and his initial despair and subsequent journey of acceptance. In this process, Tasuku finds himself at a drop-in center, which seems to primarily function as a safe space for queer people; we meet several lesbians, an elderly gay man, a trans character, and a young character who isn’t ready for any kind of label because they are still ??? about themselves and their identity. Each of these “secondary” characters is given room to breathe and to work through difficulties of their own while Tasuku watches and learns that even though life is hard sometimes, there’s beauty to be found in one’s own strength. Warnings: hoooo boy; well there’s all kinds of homophobia and transphobia; a character is outted against their will (multiple times), there’s some really insidious transphobia covered by “concern”, there’s internalized homophobia everywhere, and a very complicated asexual character whose presentation left me (as an ace) with super mixed feelings and a lot of frustration (though I wouldn’t call it bad necessarily; just wanted to put that out there for my fellow asexual folks.) If you have read (or go on to read!) any of these, please let me know! I’d love to chat about the stories, and hear your thoughts on them -- because we’re a broad/diverse community and our own experiences shape us differently and give us different insights. <3 ANYWAY, for those of you who read this monstrous self-indulgent post, thank you! Feel free to add any queer manga you’ve been reading below - I’m always on the hunt for more recs!

#happy pride #manga recs #gay representation #queer representation #trans characters #asexual characters #gay characters #everything in-between tbh

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infraaa · 3 years

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I HAD A FUCKING EXPLOSION THE OTHER DAY—

So if you follow me you know that sometimes I make Royal Chaos content. If you’re also a history geek like me you’d know that most of the heroes from RC if not all are based off of real people.

Six out of eight of the most beautiful people of Chinese history are in the game, being Pan’An, Song Yu, Prince Gao, who is also known as Lanling Wang for the men, and Diaochan, Zhaojun, and Yuhuan for the women.

The other two are missing: Wei Jie and Xi Shi.

But good news for you all because after some digging I found them. And they are SO CUTE! We need to make a petition for RC to put these characters into the game! I can DEFINITELY see the four most beautiful men and women having a connection with one another, like little hubs! 😫 But I know what you’re thinking now, maybe some of you. Royal Chaos shouldn’t take from other games! Oh, but my dearest reader, you do know that some of Royal Chaos’s characters are in different games too, right? It wouldn’t be “taking from,” now if they just stole the concept than yes it would be. It’s not like Sega took Mario and co for the Olympic Games, and Vice versa. It’s kind of like that in a sense. ☺️

So, with no further adieu, I bring to you...

✨Headcanons on what class they’d be in and what they can do, as well as background information!✨

Disclaimer: I’m terribly sorry if I spell any of this wrong, Chinese is not my first language and it’s hard to spell out in English. Also, tw // war and suicide mentions, as well as descriptions of murder and violence, just in case...

This is Xi Shi.

Her clothes actually remind me a lot of Diaochan’s with the colors, as well as the moon in the back, as per history, Diaochan was so beautiful the moon would shy away when being compared to her. Xi Shi on the other hand, was believed to be so beautiful that when fish would see her as they swam by, they would forget how to swim and sink to the bottom of whatever body of water they were swimming in. (Beauty can really kill huh?) Out of the four most beautiful women in ancient China, she was considered to be the first.

Her Background and Biography

Xi Shi was born in 506 BC on the nineteenth of July in China’s Zhejiang Province in a small village called Xi Cun, or “West Village.” Because a lot of people that lived there had “Shi” as a last name, and because she was born in the west, she was referred to as Xi Shi. She was born into a pretty ordinary household. Her father sold firewood for a living and her mother did silkwork. Ever since she was little, she would go out to this river to wash the silk that her mother had made. She lived during the Spring and Autumn Period, and within that time, China wasn’t a “whole country,” it was made up of several kingdoms fighting against each other. Xi Shi is from the state of Yue, which had been vanquished by the state of Wu. After that the Emperor of Yue, Gou Jian, was forced to serve the Emperor of Wu, Fu Chai, for three years. Gou Jian then thought of a plan to defeat the Wu State and take power back. He knew that the Fu Chai was a sucker for pretty women, and he also knew that if Fu Chai was surrounded with beautiful women, he would be too distracted to work for his state. But for this plan to work, Gou Jian needed to find a woman that had stunning beauty that was willing to sacrifice herself for the better of the country. Gou Jian found Xi Shi and he picked her. He then asked his minister, Fan Li, to take Xi Shi to Fu Chai as a tribute gift from Yue. On the way however, she fell in love with him, as he was wise and kind. He reciprocated her feelings in turn. Now, they could have escaped this plan and thwarted it but they were both loyal to their country. So, they made a pledge of their undying love for one another in secret. When she was brought before Fu Chai, he was indeed entranced by her, spending more and more time with her, neglecting his duties. After some time, he realized that he should not have been bewitched by her, as the Yue Stare had become more powerful due to his neglectful behavior. Gou Jian had invaded the state of Wu and forced Fu Chai to commit suicide. When this happened, Xi Shi’s mission was complete. The ending that I choose to believe is that she reunited with Fan Li and she lived on with him after he quit his job as a minister. The other ending is really grim...

Her Class and Quality

Xi Shi could definitely be a scholar, an AOE especially. I can imagine that she could do something similar to that of Diaochan, despite her being a medic. She could impact the opposing formations’ abilities to put damage on the formation shes defending using a debuff, much like Daji can do. I can see her being a Defense Hero and possibly having strength in Control for all these reasons, as well as real history, helping her state in the face of despair. She could be considered as a fabled hero, but could also be an epic hero considering the bloat of the fabled class making up mostly half of the hero cast as a whole.

Her Possible Abilities

Chant of Heroism

She can attack anywhere from 4 to 8 times descending on CRIT, dealing 60%+164 DMG to a random front enemy with each hit, lasting one round. Until three layers are tagged, the enemy will lose anywhere from 15 to 25 HP, decreasing DEF by 4%.

Promising Honor

50:50 chance of tagging a back or front target. Allies then force attention to the front if the tag is in the back, dealing 5% more damage. This tag cannot be dispelled for two rounds.

Her Preferred Gems and Treasure

Gems: DEF, ATK, ACC

Treasure: Primarily something with a DEF bonus, so the lamps, each one activating her Destiny ability. However, any other treasure that offers an ATK or RES bonus is also good.

Her Occupation

I can imagine her working in the Ministry of Defense as a General, much like Wen Ruyan. For her other occupation, she could be a poet of some kind, probably a primary or mid poet, something like that, or she could be a primary chess sage.

Hero Compatibility

She could work with other scholars that can do some damage, namely Song Yu and Ying Zheng. She could also work with medics depending on their skill set. Diaochan would be a prime choice.

~~~~

The guy on the right is Wei Jie.

Look at that cat! (´⊙ω⊙`) But for real, this poor guy. He reminds me of the “gentle giant” archetype. Not just because of his looks, no, he’s actually ill with some kind of disease. (I have a head canon that it’s AIDS/HIV, but I don’t have a lot of evidence to support that right now. All I know is that his immune system is very weak to infection and he has respiratory problems and it’s just that he’s very weak overall...) Despite his health however, he’s actually compared to Jade, being like a jade doll. Jade is very valuable in China and is considered to be a very precious stone, especially in the eyes of aristocrats and royalty. Out of the four most handsome men in ancient China, he was considered as the fourth.

His Background and Biography

(I had to use multiple resources for this, I couldn’t find a lot of information on him, so I had to get creative. Sorry!)

Wei Jie, like Pan’An, also lived during the Xi Jin (Western Jin) Dynasty. He was born into a very wealthy household, and was recognized for his beauty alone at the age of five. His uncle, who also had extraordinary good looks, said that walking with his nephew was like “having a gleaming pearl at my side.” He had fans from far and wide, causing chaos and the forming of something along the lines of a twisted harem to form under his shadow. When Wei Jie grew up, this only got worse. Hoards of women would literally block the streets and chase after him because they all wanted him so badly, which this caused a lot of backlash onto his family. Because his family was aristocratic, they had to keep a sensible reputation. People were jealous of the Wei family because of the immense wealth and beauty that they all possessed. Luckily, Wei Jie couldn’t go out that often, as he doesn’t have a strong body, and has been ill since his infancy. He wasn’t allowed to go out during his childhood because of the fear that whatever ailment he had could spread. Because of this belief and the immense jealousy that others had, most of his family, with the exception of his father, fifth uncle, and cousin, were all murdered quite brutally. This lead him to be the young master of the Wei Manor. This pattern of not going out a lot and things continued on for some time. He would go out on occasion if he really needed something, and he didn’t necessarily like all the attention he brought to himself unknowingly. He grew easily overwhelmed by it and constantly sought to get away from the large groups of people that swarmed him. This anxiety and stress of attention exhausted him, and he actually passed from all that exhaustion. He was “watched to death,” as people said. Poor guy... he just wanted to be alone... let us introverts be!

His Class and Quality

Oh, he’s a medic, for sure. I know also that he was an imperial physician in the game I found him from, but he only worked on commission, if that makes sense, like if people actually wanted to be treated by him. He would kind of be like a better version of Shizhen. Very agile and quick, but also the more you get to him, his attack rate can slowly increase. I can see him being some kind of control hero. Back Support too, that would make sense. So control + support. He would be in Fabled Class, definitely. Props to him!

His Possible Abilities

Jade Solstice

Chanting a medical spell from his calabash gourd, he can stun a front line enemy for one round, lowering 20 rage. If a critical is achieved, they will turn chaotic and attack other members of their formation for one round, taking away 15% of the enemies overall DEF and then giving it to his other formation members.

Internal Grace

Shielding himself using the gourd’s energy, he gains 10% RES. Any rage prompted attack he makes will grant him 2% more ATK bonus points for one round, increasing the formation’s overall CRIT by 10%. This can be layered twice and cannot be dispelled or immune to.

His Preferred Gems and Treasure

Gems: HP, CRIT, ATK

Treasure: To increase damage while keeping DEF, use the stamps. However, any CRIT or ATK bonus treasure is good too, just as long as it buffs his accuracy as well!

His Occupation

This is where it got tricky. I would assume he would work alongside Pan’An in the Ministry of Rites where they would compose poems together. It’s just that since he can’t actually go out too much that’s where it gets a little complicated. He could probably act as some kind of moderator or something along those lines, something where he wouldn’t have to deal with people that much.

Hero Compatibility

He would need strong tanks to help him out. Prince Gao, Prince Jing, or even Xiang Yu would be good for him. He would also want heroes that would boost his abilities even more, gotta have that support, you know? Wu Zetian, Yuhuan, or Pan’An would be good choices.

~~~~

Now for the final part...

✨Connections✨

Xi Shi

I think they’re’s already a connection that has Zhaojun, Diaochan, and Yuhuan in it. I would take that and add Xi Shi into the connection, but also bring her attributes to the table, in summary. What I mean by that is take her attributes and summarize them into one. So her strongest asset would be the fact that she could be an AOE with a control bonus. She could add ACC and DEF to the table to help with your formation if activated.

Wei Jie

Just like the ladies, I know there’s already a connection with Pan’An, Song Yu, and Prince Gao in it. Same deal, take it, put him in it, and add his summarized ability. He could be a Medic with strength in CRIT. So, he could bring CRIT to the table, obviously, as well as extra ATK buffs if activated.

~~~~

To conclude, *coughs as if to clear throat* Xi Shi, Wei Jie. We need to add them. The quartets aren’t filled up yet. Wouldn’t it be a surprise for them to finally come together in gorgeous matrimony as the queens they are? All heroes are queens. Plain and simple, not matter how awful their skill sets may be at times. (We see you, Shizhen. You matter, even though his skill set isn’t the best he’s still kinda great 😅)

#royal chaos headcanons #royal chaos #fabled hero headcanons #headcanons #royal chaos theories #infrawrites #tw //

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olderjustneverwiser · 4 years

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Say You’ll Stay With Me Tonight (Draco Malfoy)

Y'all, I don’t know where the hell this came from.

I’ve been all up in my Draco feels, and this came out. It’s literally just an excuse for me to tell Draco that he’s not a terrible person. It’s funny, though, because Draco is the first person I ever wrote for years ago. Guess I’ve come full circle.

Also I love these two and want to write everything about them.

ALSO, I added in the deleted scene from the movie because fuck it, Draco deserved better and I’m giving it to him.

Warnings: mentions of PTSD, talks of death, mentions of suicidal thoughts.

Set after the Battle of Hogwarts. Slytherin reader. As always, thanks to @moresvuheadcanons.

Enjoy!

The war was over.

After years of fear, hatred, and death. After countless late-night, hushed discussions between your parents, strange men in black robes visiting your home and the rise and fall of Him, it was over. The wizarding world could breathe a collective sigh of relief as you all stood in the Hogwarts courtyard, overlooking while Harry Potter defeated Voldemort, once and for all. There would be no third coming of the great Lord Voldemort. He was gone, reduced to dust and a heinous memory.

Most cheered the victory, while others looked on mourning the fallen. Some, mostly ministry officials, went right on to their work; rounding up the remaining Death Eaters and counting the dead. Students hugged friends in celebration, while others cried for the ones they’d lost too soon. You, however, had only one mission: finding Draco.

The two of you had fought the second half of the battle side by side. You had grown up together, it seemed only fitting that you would most likely die together in the carnage. Yet by some stroke of luck, you both had survived. At least until Voldemort came back from the forest, Potter’s limp body hanging from Hagrid’s hands.

It killed you to see Draco walk to His side. Deep down, you knew he was only doing so because of his mother, but it hurt all the same. You wanted so badly to call out to him; beg him not to go, but the green emblem on your school sweater made you a prime recruit for Voldemort, so you forced yourself to stay quiet and hidden. All you could do was silently will Draco to stand up for himself, to stay and fight, but ultimately you had to watch as he walked away. However, just when it seemed like all hope was lost, Potter jumped from Hagrid’s grip, and you watched as Draco tossed him his wand.

That was the last time you had seen Draco, and given that he had helped Harry Potter right in front of Voldemort, it was safe to assume Draco was dead. The thought alone filled you with dread unlike any you’d ever felt.

You roamed the corridors, ignoring the stares of passersby. You knew you were a spectacle; your fellow wizards and witches were judging you based simply on your House at the school you fought to protect only moments ago. Never mind the fact that you had fought a war primarily based on judgements and prejudice. You fought for the light, for Potter; you were even prepared to fight against your own parents, yet people still only saw you as a Slytherin, child of a Death Eater, a bad person.

You forced yourself to stop thinking about that and focus on the task at hand. Eventually you reached the Great Hall, thankful you didn’t see his body among those that had been found. You looked for people you were friendly with; Lovegood, Blaise, but no one knew where Draco was. The feeling in your gut only worsened as you worked with your former classmates until late into the night, with no sign of Draco Malfoy.

It had been a week since the battle.

Countless hours listening to reports of bodies found in the wreckage at Hogwarts. Reading about Azkaban sentences and acquittals and how the school was rebuilding. Learning that the Malfoys were cleared of all charges and seeing their photo in the Prophet gave you some relief in knowing that Draco was alive, but you decided to keep your distance for a while. Let him decompress. Things had become strained between you since your sixth year, and the last thing you wanted to do was bombard him.

But, you were restless and needed to see him.

After a week of hiding out in your home, you apparated to the manor. As you made your way to the huge double doors, memories flooded your mind of your time here. Learning to fly with Draco in the backyard. Studying constellations on clear nights. Dancing in the vast ballroom of the manor at a Christmas soiree Narcissa put on in your fifth year.

Your thoughts were interrupted by one of the large doors swinging open before you even made it to the door knocker and you were greeted by a house elf, who seemed to remember you.

“He’s in the study,” you heard the house elf squeak out as he let you in, then quickly disapparate. It had been years since you’d set foot in the manor, but the memories of its long halls and hidden rooms were still clear in your mind. Following the dark hallway, you remembered running through these halls with Draco as children, playing tag without a care in the world.

Oh, how you’d wish to go back to those simpler times. Before all of the chaos and despair.

You shook those thoughts away as you neared the entryway of the study. It was eerily quiet, the only sound the faint crackling of a fireplace. You crossed the threshold and saw Draco, or at least part of him. He was sitting on a large sofa with his back to the entryway, his platinum hair the only part of him you could see. You thought it best not to sneak up on him, given everything he’d been through over the past couple years, so you stood back and called his name as softly as you could.

“Draco.”

Before you uttered the last syllable, he was on his feet, wand pointed directly at you, with a look in his eyes that you could only describe as pure fear.

“Oi! It’s only me, mate. It’s okay.” You held your open palms up in surrender, waiting for him to realize that you weren’t a threat. He slowly lowered his wand, shoulders sagging just enough to let you know he was okay. You stepped forward cautiously, until he set his wand on the seat next to his.

“How’d you get in?”

“Your house elf still remembers me.” He nodded once, just barely, and once again took his seat on the sofa. God, he looked thin. He’d always had a slender frame, but he never looked this sickly; not even when you had fought by his side only days ago. His cheekbones and chin were more pointed than ever, and the dark circles under his eyes has never been more pronounced. Even his hands looked thinner.

Guess that’s what living with the embodiment of evil for a year does to you.

“Where’s Narcissa and Lucius?” You asked, taking your seat in the plush armchair next to the sofa.

“Left the country on holiday. They wanted to ‘get away from it all,’ as they put it.”

“And they left you here alone?” You questioned. Draco only shrugged, his eyes never leaving the flames of the fire across from him.

You weren’t looking at the fire, though. Instead, your eyes were on him. This wasn’t the boy you’d known. The boy you’d loved since you were twelve. This was a ghost of him. You suspected the boy you loved had been dying a slow death ever since Voldemort had come to him with an offer he, quite frankly, could not refuse even though he’d wanted to.

What do you say in this situation? 'How are you?’ 'What’s on your mind?’ Everything that came to mind seemed stupid and pointless, so you settled for staying silent.

Thankfully, Draco broke the silence before you had to. “Have you heard from your parents?”

“No.”

“Are they alive?”

“I’m not sure.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“They would have murdered me without a second thought if they knew I was fighting for the light so no, not really.” Your eyes fell to his left forearm; he was fiddling with his sleeve and it had rolled up just enough to see the very bottom of the Dark Mark.

Draco noticed you staring and lifted his sleeve even more, allowing you to see the mark in its entirety. It was an open secret in Slytherin that Draco had taken the mark. He never talked about it, but you all knew it was there. Still, to see it for yourself; to see that ugly stain on his skin made your stomach turn.

“I’ve thought about trying to cut it off, you know,” he said, so nonchalantly he could have been talking about the weather outside. However the weight of his words hit you like a freight train, and you felt the breath being sucked out of your lungs. You were at a complete loss for words. Do you tell him that it pained you to imagine a world without him? That even though things had gotten so strained between the two of you, you couldn’t bare the thought of losing him like that? Do you tell him that, in spite of all the bad he had done, you had always seen the good he could have been, given the chance?

“Draco, what-”

“It’s-it’s not like I want to not be here anymore. I’m just tired. Tired of looking at this bloody thing and being reminded of all the pain I’ve caused.”

“I’m willing to bet you didn’t have a choice.”

His eyes snapped to you, and you noted the shine of fresh tears threatening to spill over red-rimmed eyes. “You don’t know what I’d been tasked to do. I let them into the school, I was supposed to kill Dumbledore, I-”

“So, why didn’t you do it? Kill him, I mean.” You already knew the answer, but you wanted to hear it from him.

He hesitated, trying to keep his voice steady while tears trickled slowly down his cheeks, “I never wanted this to happen. I thought I did, when I was younger. But, I never wanted people to die, I never wanted any of it."

"Draco, you’re just a boy who grew up with an ego the size of the moon and a terrible role model for a father. You weren’t a bad person growing up, you were just an ass with a legacy to live up to. And as far as this death eater shit, I know you wouldn’t have done it if you had a choice. It was your father’s actions that brought you to that point, Draco. I’m sure of it.” You paused as a tear of your own escaped, but you continued on. “And, when it really mattered, you helped the light. Or did I just imagine you hexing Death Eaters next to me, or tossing Potter your wand?”

“So, you’re trying to say that I’m a good person, even after all of this?”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”

He chuckled, actually chuckled at your last statement. “Thank you.”

“You know I meant every word,” you replied, hoping he believed you. Once again, silence fell over the room, only this time it was a calm, comfortable one. You wanted to stay with him; hell, you’d stay forever if he would ask you to, but you weren’t sure if that’s what he wanted. You sure as hell weren’t going to ask to stay, so you stood to leave.

“Well, now that I’ve stroked your ego and raised your spirits a bit, I think I’m going to go,” you said, a test to see how he’d react. You stepped over his outstretched legs to leave, but he grabbed your hand, his skin icy even after sitting by the roaring fire.

“Stay, please?” He whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. The pain and loneliness he was feeling was evident in his voice, and of course, you weren’t going to say no.

So you nodded and took a seat again, this time on the sofa right next to Draco. You expected him to let your hand go, but instead he laced his fingers with yours. You felt a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as the two of you looked on at the fire.

In that moment, you felt peace, and for the first time in a long time, you felt that maybe, one day, all would be well.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #hp #harry potter #draco deserved better #hp imagine #harry potter fic #draco malfoy fic #harry potter imagine #draco x you #draco x reader #draco malfoy angst

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