#pls try reflecting a little bit. what got u to the point where u | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boethiahsboytoy · 2 years

Note

All the general, background, and Skyrim questions for Vulon >:)

(Or fewer if you'd rather asksjfnfn I know that's a lot)

Holy fuck lmao this is so funny bc I was LITERALLY trying so hard to just Pick A Few questions for your OCs instead of asking if you'd answer all the questions omfg. But if u decide 2 answer them all pls @ me I wanna SEE hehheehe >:3

(I'm loke a Little goofy from I'm Sleepy so like. Some of my answers reflect that sorry. Also this is SOOO long because I CAN Not shut up 🧡

TES Ask Meme here!

General:

1) Name: Vulonshulzaan, written out as Vulon Shulzaan. Serana calls it V.

2) Associated game/era: skywim BABEY

3) Age at beginning of game/relevant time period: Not quite sure how Altmer aging works but it's the equivalent of 26 when it gets into Skyrim bc that's how old I am :)

4) Race: Aw fuck I spoiled it XD Altmer! Hehe.

5) Sex/gender (bonus points if there's a cool answer): It's like if a guy was made out of explosions and hardstyle music but like a really slutty version. Boy toy. Male????? <- All ways it's described itself minus the hardstyle bit bc that isn't in Skyrim canon. But it should be. Listen 2 "Dragonborn" by Headhunterz (@ anyone reading this).

6) Sexual orientation/preferences: Gay. Into people that r BIG and MEAN and SCARY. Th fact that Lord Boethiah checks all those boxes is not an insignificant part of why it worships Them (I am only half joking).

7) Class (or a general description of their skillset): Battle mage, leans more on the mage side for the most part tho. Really Good At Sword though like it's a terrifyingly proficient swordsman just as it is a mage!

The rest of the answers will be under the cut!

BACKGROND!!

1) Is this character from their race's home province/territory? If not, what is their relationship with the region? Do they feel a connection to it?

It's from the Summerset Isles! But it had nothing but bad experiences there for the most part and feels very Weird about it or maybe grew up somewhere else i havent decided. It knows, logically, that its culture is from there. That it IS an Altmer. But it feels so, so disconnected from it all bc of its childhood and trauma and feels like it can't connect with it. It's quite sad about it and never really feels like it fits in anywhere while it's alive :(

2) Where did they grow up? A city? A village? Isolated, in the wilderness? What was it like to leave?

Man. Idk where specifically bc I don't go Too much into that with any of my OCs, but it grows up somewhere in the heart of Thalmor Bull Shit probably.

3) What was their childhood like? Who raised them? Do they have siblings?

UM. Bad. It's parents were very abusive and mean and kept it isolated from its peers. It only started learning about the world outside its bubble when it was around (altmer equivalent of) 12 or so, when it started sneaking out at night and doing who-knows-what. It didn't have any siblings either. :(

4) If they are an adventurer, why did they choose that life? Did they choose it at all?

It wouldn't call itself an adventurer but like you COULD technically refer to it as such. It wouldn't mind being called one tbh hehe. But yes, I suppose??

5) Do they worship any gods? Who? How do they feel about the gods in general?

YELLS EXCITEDLY BC I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS. SO!!! Vulon in its older teenage years began seeking out Knowledge from Hermaeus Mora, wanting to learn ways it could escape its parents thru magic and also cause som havoc. It very nearly became a proper Seeker, and possibly would have if it never got the courage to kill its parents! After that it became a sort of race between Mora and Lord Boethiah to see who could get Vulon first >:3 Mora's influence was already There, but Lord Boethiah saw potential in Vulon for more than just a tool to gather knowledge, and carefully found ways to nudge the world into guiding it to Them!

It has a deep respect and love for its Lord, and even while serving Them as Champion it respects Mora as well, however it never properly Worships Him. As for Gods n such in General it feels like they need to prove themselves to be worthy of respect to have it.

6) What are their interpersonal relationships like? Are they close with many people?

It's like, Incredibly Bad at socializing. It doesn't pick up on cues or tone well and isn't good at keeping conversation going. It's very awkward internally and hides that behind being loud and eccentric and sometimes A Little Mean depending on where it is. Most people find it off putting and it likes it that way! BUT there r a few people that stick around with it long enough for it to warm up 2 them and act a bit more chill. Serana is the main one! They're very close and she sees him as a cool older cousin type guy!

7) What's their relationship with their family like? Do they have one?

H. Bad, in terms of its parents. It has Serana tho, and Sissel (and Britte but they aren't As close. It definitely looks out and cares for her tho, that's still its kid), and it fought with the Dawnguard long enough to consider them its family. In death it meets Craig, an Ancient Falmer Champion of Boethiah, that it gets close to and in turn sort of ends up as Boethiah! Vyrthaal's 3rd parent! So it does have a family in the end, one it loves and cares for very deeply.

8) What guilds do they join? Are they committed to those guilds, or are they mostly in them for the benefits?

I dont think it joins any , unless is the Dawnguard a guild???

9) Are they a vampire/lycanthrope? Did they choose to become one? Would they reverse it, given the chance?

It's neither! Obviously not a vampire bc its Lord Boethiah's Champion but even without that FUCK Moldy Balls we hate that motherfucker!!!! And can't b a lycanthrope, again bc it being Lord Boethiah's Champion, and They're not close enough w/Hircine for that 2 be plausible. Vyrthaal tries 2 convince it 2 become one but like it's dead so it can't even if it wanted to/Hircine wanted it to.

SKYRIM SHUFFLE

1) Were they trying to cross the border? Why?

Ya!! To get to the Sacellum of Boethiah! :3

2) Do they follow Hadvar or Ralof? Why

Neither, but it gets into Helgen Keep to get all its shit back. Probably runs into Hadvar, who it probably kills bc its like really freaked THE fuck out.sorry Hadvar fans :( to be fair Vulon feels bad about it bc like, it doesn't know who the fuck that was!! It doesn't like Senseless killing.

3) Do they pick a side in the Civil War?

It does Not lmao

4) How do they feel about Tullius and Ulfric on a personal level?

It sees Tullius as a pawn for the Thalmor and therefore an enemy, but never interacts with him personally (lucky for him). It loathes Ulfric (for also being a pawn for the Thalmor) especially when it sees how cruelly the Dunmer are treated in Windhelm. Now that I'm thinking about it, Vulon might be really popular among the Dunmer in Windhelm--its Champion of Lord Boethiah and would definitely go out of its way to try and help them out. Kicks the shit out of the asshole harassing that random lady when u first enter the city (it doesn't kill him right then and there but it DOES kill him that night) as well as anyone he's friends with. But anyways it Definitely seeks out an audience w Ulfric to yell at him, gets thrown out but not imprisoned bc the guards are too scared to touch it. So he knows what it Is and that it hates him lmao, and probably is like a LITTLE afraid of it if he recognizes its Champion if Lord Boethiah??

5) Do they kill Paarthurnax? Why?

No, because Miraak kills him first. Had it been given the option though, it wouldn't kill him. Paarthurnax didn't do anything to it or the people it cares about, and on top of that he's changed greatly from who he was as Alduin's Bestie and can respect that. Also, Sissel knows about him??????? So like. It would want 2 tell her abt its new mentor lol. But for real Vulon would have respected Paarthrunax for realizing how fucked up he was and trying to make it right.

6) How do they feel about Delphine and the Greybeards?

It never gets a chance to meet Delphine, but it would hate how much she'd try to order it around and butt heads with her CONSTANTLY. But I don't think it would like, hate her???? It just wouldn't LIKE her or get along with her. I feel like in Theory if they ever fought together they'd make a good team tho, tbh. It also dislikes the Greybeards like, a LOT lmao it sees them as unhelpful assholes who Also think they get to boss it around for no fucking reason except it was given a Soul it doesn't want.

7) On a scale of 1-10, how much do they hate the Thalmor? The Empire?

The scale explodes because of how much Vulon hates em

8) What do they do at the war meeting? How does it go? Do they maintain neutrality?

It doesn't go bc it isn't able to happen hehe :') With Miraak being released from apocrypha to do whatever he wants the Civil War is put super on hold. Also High Hrothgar gets destroyed. So. There's That. :(

9) How do they feel about their position as Dragonborn? Do they embrace the role? Does it terrify them? Do they take advantage of it?

Oh it HATES it!! It makes it feel helpless and trapped and overwhelmed, something its felt all its life and finally thought it escaped. But. There's something exhilarating about fighting Dragons, and even more so about absorbing their Souls to feed its hunger for power. But that hunger only grows, and ultimately it scares Vulon. It knows it only has the slightest grasp on its mortality and is afraid of how much these Souls being absorbed by its own weakens it further and further.

10) Who do they marry? How did they meet?

It doesn't marry anybody, but it swears its Soul to Lord Boethiah and thats close enough♡♡♡♡

11) Do they kill Cicero? Do they regret their decision?

Ahhh so when Vulon was being made originally I did have it join the Dark Brotherhood, and it was best friends with Cicero!! They were brothers:) It never would have killed him!

12) Do they return the Skeleton Key? What are the consequences?

It doesn't get it, and honestly the whole Thieves Guild questline probably happens without Vulon even noticing:') It'd be happy for them tho if the Key is returned--if it Had done all of that it would have returned the Key and help make the Guild not suck but ultimately not want to be the Guild Master.

13) Saadia or Kematu?

Another quest it wouldn't go through; but it would likely err on the side of caution and help Saadia out after talking to her I think.

14) Which daedric quests do they do? Which artifacts do they use? What's their favorite?

Only Lord Boethiah's :3 It earns the Ebony Mail as well as Goldbrand, both of which it cherishes and respects very deeply, taking care of and using them all throughout the rest of its life and when in Oblivion.

15) Dawnguard or Volkihar Clan? If they choose the Volkihar, do they ever reverse their vampirism?

Dawnguard BABEYY!!

16) What's their relationship with Serana? How close are they?

Mentioned it earlier but they're very close! They're like cousins or smthn, n they look out for each other. Fun Fact, Vulon doesn't even take Serana to Harkon! It picks up Immediately on what an abusive monster he was, and tells her that she doesn't have to return to him and it'll even help her hide herself away. Obviously Serana doesn't believe it because that's the fucking Champion Of Lord Fucking Boethiah, Molag Bal's fucking RIVAL and also the Daedric Prince of Deciet and Backstabbing!!! But Vulon tells her about its own past, what it was like for it growing up, how terrible its parents are. How, Lord Boethiah's or not, it can't just bring someone to their abuser when it has a chance to get them somewhere safe. And after a night of travel together she asks Vulon to bring her to the Dawnguard instead, and the Quest continues pretty much the same from there, with the addition of more vampire attacks as Harkon knows Serana's Out There.

17) Thoughts on Valerica? Thoughts on Isran?

It isn't fond of Valerica but recognizes that she was a victim of Molag Bal and Harkon's just as much as Serana was. It helps get her out of the Soul Cairn on the condition she renounces Bal and cures herself of vampirism tho! As for Isran, it thinks he's neat :) Like, it actually respects him and its because he's a grumpy no nonsense bastard BUT he's still willing to listen to Vulon when it tells him that the vampire kid it brought in IS going to help them and this WONT fuck them all over. He also probably thinks its funny that Vulon joined the Dawnguard to kill vampires and only remembered that it's Prince and Molag Bal are super enemies like, Long after it fuckin' should have lmaooooo. Like he makes a passing comment about having half a mind to thank Lord Boethiah for sending Their Champion to help them and Vulon is like "huh????? What does my Lord have to do with this--OHHHHHH HOLY FUCK THEY HATE MOLAG BAL OH SHIT. WAIT HANG ON. LEGALLY I HAVE TO ASK THEM IF IM ALLOWED TO BE HERE" and the Entirety of the dawnguard (and Serana) are like "Vulon what the FUCK do you mean you didn't know you were getting in the way of the Princes' bullshit!!!?!????? Hello?????????????" And Serana probably smacks it upside the head Literally as it's trying to summon Lord Boethiah to Speak w/Them. Probably As it's speaking to Them. They probably ask her to smack it again.

18) How do they feel about Miraak? Is he a villain to them, or a tragic figure?

Oh man. SO. Lord Boethiah is the one that tells it about Miraak, and how if it frees him he'll take care of Alduin for it. So it gets into Appcrypha under the guise of wanting to make amends or something and just....yoinks Miraak out. Tells him that now he gets to prove himself once and for all and kill Alduin like he wanted to all those years ago. At the moment it thinks Hey maybe this guy will be alright.

So Miraak does it.

And then decides he wants to conquer all of Tamriel. And now Vulon is the only thing that can stop him.

I think though, that they could have been allies. Miraak wishes to be the master of his own fate, and that's exactly what Vulon is. The two of them are probably very similar, and I'm sure there are times where it wonders if they could have been close.

Thank u for sending all these this was really fun hehehe!!

#ask #squigglebug #Lucy #ask meme response #oc vulon shulzaan #this was SO fun omfg

3 notes · View notes

forsworned · 3 years

Text

a mutually arranged attachment. (yoriichi tsugikuni x reader)

warnings » none in this chapter

word count » 5.8k

categories » f/m

chapters » one two three five six seven eight nine ten

relationships » modern college student au! yoriichi tsugikuni x f!reader

characters » mitsuri kanroji, shinobu kocho, yoriichi tsugikini (obvi), izanagi tsugikini (oc kinda???), michikatsu tsugikini, tanjiro kamado, uncle keshi (oc), nezuko kamado

author’s note » lmfao hello again, i know its been awhile but i really hope u guys like this. pls let me know ur thoughts on this!

chapters. one two three four five six seven eight nine ten

『© do not steal/repost my work w/o permission』

『♡』chapter four: drunk anniversary [part two]

The hallways seemed to stretch endlessly and the further you went down the more darker the decor the paint on the walls got. Imagery of dragons and koi fish began to replace the once forest green lined the walls. You were beginning to think that maybe Yoriichi wasn't who he had claimed to be...

You suddenly felt yourself geting pulled into a room and a line of lights illuminated the large office space. The small glimspe you caught before you heard Yoriichi's breath catch in his throat and your eyes were instantly covered was like something out of a dream. Of course, you couldn't remember every little detail but from what you could recall. The walls and floors were black and sparkly when they reflected in the light and drawings of dragons and koi fish were engraved in gold.

"Is something wrong?" You breathed after a moment of silence. You could only hear the sound of his heart beating fast against his chest and his breathing slightly ragged.

"U-um, let's just get out of here first."

"And I should just blindedly trust you, why?"

His eyes widened for a moment and you heard him chuckle under his breath.

"You don't trust me?" There was a hint of a smile in his voice, but it was the mischevious tone that made your heart race. His breath was warm against your cheek and you suddenly felt like this could go many ways.

"Not particularly." And it was the truth. You weren't some idiot that was going to just blindly follow someone (contrary to your previous statement from the previous chapter LOL).

He laughed again and his breath was tickling at your ear. "Well, I'm glad you can think for yourself when it comes down to it."

"What are you keeping from me?" You were quick to ask and right now Yoriichi didn't have time to exactly humor you. He had to think fast.

"Will you follow me out of here if I tell you?"

"How will I know if you're telling the truth?"

His smile widening at your persistence. "Well, I guess you'll just have to trust me."

You scoffed at him. Either he thought you were an idiot or he knew you weren't going to take the bait so he was trying to sway you out of said space by drunkening up your thoughts with his sultry voice.

You let out an exasperated sigh. "Whatever. Let's go."

Yoriichi was surprised to hear you no longer protest but he took it as an opportunity to rush you to the kitchen.

"I'll explain." He said before you felt your feet beginning to move as if almost on their own as you listened to his heart beat slowly starting to go back to normal as yours began to escalate.

I mean for crying out loud his hand was covering your eyes and your back was flush against his chest leading you to God knows where. At this point you literally had no choice, but to trust him.

"Almost there."

You bit back another scoff. He was unbelievable. You could definitely bet your most expensive set of earrings that this man was concocting an explanation in his head. You were suddenly stopped and his hand uncovered your eyes and you were met with bright florescent light flooding your poor eyes.

"Here!" He stood in front you grinning but you could only frown at him. But before you could utter a word, your stomach growled impatiently.

"Hungry?" He asked as he began to put some side dishes together and you breathed hard through your nostrils. You took a seat at the island as he was setting up your shared meal.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Yoriichi set down a mound of steamed rice in front of you and some yakitori that was making your mouth water. Without saying a word you began to eat your fill completely ignoring his nagging stare. If anything he thought it was quite cute how you were trying to mind him no business as you stuffed your face.

"Cute." He murmured to himself as he took a bite of his own dish.

You choked on your chicken and you he had to bite back a chuckle as he handed you a glass of aloe vera juice. You shot him a dirty look as you sipped at it before you calmed down.

"So when are you going to tell me about your twin?"

Silence filled the air and the more time that passed by the more you began to think that honestly, it wasn't even any of your business. Yoriichi had every right to his own privacy and you trying to insert yourself into his life wasn't exactly the best decision.

He took a long sip of his own drink before setting it down. "Well--"

"You don't have to." You interrupted.

You really didn't want to, but it didn't feel right to just try and be apart of his life especially when his guard had been up. He had only recently met you after all. He didn't owe you any explanations or favors.

"I'm sorry for trying to push myself into your life. It's not..." You looked down feeling embarrassed. You felt his warm hand cover yours and you glanced up to see him only staring at your hands touching. You felt clammy under his gaze even if he wasn't looking into your eyes, but him analyzing the surface of your hands and fingering the skin that covered your knuckles was enough to send shivers up your spine.

"It's not what?"

You gulped dryly at his question. "It's not my business."

A small smile curled at the ends of his lips as he softly snorted. "Yeah, maybe." He peered up at you and you felt like your pupils were blown up at this point. He leaned back and let go of your hand and you felt a little sad at the absence of his warmth.

"Michikatsu."

"Your brother."

"Mm." He nodded. "He is...troublesome."

You recalled the tattoos that were lining his chest and the jewelry that was lined his collarbones and you felt yourself touching at your clavicle. Yoriichi's throat cleared gaining your attention.

"Like I was saying, he is troublesome and dangerous." He emphasized giving you a knowing look. Another reason why he didn't want anyone knowing that he had a twin brother. Not that he felt threatened by him but he really knew how to fuck up his life upside down.

"How?"

"For reasons that are better off if you didn't know." He sipped at his drink looking away with his fist slightly clenched at the mentioning of his brother. You made a mental note to not ask too many questions about Michikatsu.

You felt a little betrayed by what little information that he gave you, but you needed to remind yourself that it wasn't your place to ask him anything more than what you already did.

"Okay...so what about the office space with the dragons and koi fish?"

Yoriichi bit his tongue as he chewed on his rice. "Dammit, you saw that?"

You felt a bit guilty for looking but what the hell else were you suppose to do? It's not like he blindfolded you.

"Should I not have?"

He sighed again. "No, but it's my fault anyway."

The doors flung open and Uncle Keshi stepped in with a charismatic attitude that was beyond your comprehension.

"Hey, kids. What's happenin'? You like the food [name]?" He smiled brightly at you. You returned his and nodded with a mouthful of food.

"Uncle Keshi--" Yoriichi began but Uncle Keshi simply put a finger in front of his nephew's face.

"No need to apologize." He plopped into the seat that was between the both of you and picked at the cucumber salad and inserted one into his mouth.

"So, how do you like the party so far?" Uncle Keshi mused. You and Yoriichi share a look that sent his uncle into a fit of laughter.

"It's, uh...eventful?" You looked at Uncle Keshi with a confused look as you picked at your food

"Are you asking or telling?" He shoved another cucumber into his mouth and patted the side of your arm. "Hey, relax. I know Yoriichi and Michikatsu's dad is like crazy scary lookin' but he ain't that bad."

As soon as you let your shoulder drop, Yoriichi's began to tense up again at the mentioning of his dad and Michikatsu.

"Why are they here?" Yoriichi's maroon gaze was burning into his uncle's but he paid no mind to the boy. His nephew's eyes were burning with such an intensity that you could even feel the tension in the room rise. It was like fire and ice.

"Because, we made--" "Yes, I heard 'you made up', but--"

"But, nothing. End of story. There's no need to rehash the past." Uncle Keshi shrugged as took his nephew's half eaten yakitori stick and began to nibble at it. Well, more like eat the last three semi large pieces of chicken in a single bite but who's counting.

"Uncle Keshi, he--they--" Yoriichi's fists were tightening. His voice was quiet but his anger was loud, deafening even. He didn't want you to see how enraged he could really become. He didn't want the skeletons in his closet to crawl out or the demons inside his brain to ooze out from him. He just felt an overwhelming urge to protect you. Protect you from everything that he had been trying so hard to hold himself off from.

Yoriichi's uncle simply put a hand on his shoulder as he looked at him. "Water under the bridge, neph."

Yoriichi looked up from his balled fists to his uncle who was trying to keep his mirth from bursting out, but he failed when Yoriichi cracked a smile and began to laugh.

"Neph? God, you're so weird, Uncle." Yoriichi said in between laughter. You felt like you were missing out in the little moment they were having and the more you watched them, the more you felt like an outsider. Because you were. You had no place being here.

As you were about to get up to excuse yourself, Uncle Keshi turned to you with his welcoming smile. "You two should join the party when you're ready. We're about to cut the cake and let me tell you, it is magnificent."

You chewed on your lip for a second looking at both parties. Yoriichi looked more relaxed now and Uncle Keshi's smile never left his face.

You smiled. "Cake sounds pretty good."

"Atta girl!" Uncle Keshi cheered getting up out of his seat and waved as he made his way out of the door. "See you both in a bit!"

"Funny, I never agreed." Yoriichi muttered as he played with his food.

"Well, you didn't exactly say no." You retorted. He looked up at you incredulously.

"I don't exactly remember you being this snarky." He shot back. His mischevious smile was back and you were absolutely loving it.

"Well," You shoved one more big chunk of rice into your mouth before hopping out of your seat much like his uncle earlier. "I don't know about you, but I'm definitely in the mood for some cake."

He cocked an eyebrow at you. "You don't feel full?"

"Not really." You put a hand to your stomach. "Should I?"

He shook his head as he chuckled and put his chopsticks down. "I'm only asking. I don't want you to feel pressured by my ridiculous uncle."

"Nah, I actually really wanted to get back to Nezuko and Tanjiro. They're probably wondering what happened to me."

He got up to put the dishes away. "You think they're worried about you?"

"Excuse me?" You laughed as you folded your arms and walked behind him. He laughed melodiously as you urged him to explain himself.

"I'm kidding." He peered at you with glistening eyes that made your heart skip a beat.

Why did he have to be so damn pretty?

You couldn't help but stare at his moistened lips and for a moment his gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips. The space between the both of you was slowly closing--

"Hey, I thought you guys wanted cake!" Uncle Keshi's voice called out making you jump, but Yoriichi doesn't give a hint of him even being slightly alarmed. If anything he just looked annoyed.

"Right...the cake. We should..." He pointed his thumb to the main area.

"Get over there. Yeah." You nervously laughed as you began to walk towards the doors. He held it open for you as you passed through and all you could think of was how close he was to possibly kissing you. Like he was actually going for it?! You thoughts raced as you watched as everyone gathered around the large four tiered cake.

How extra.

"Very." Yoriichi said beside you. You looked at him for a moment wondering if he had the ability to read your thoughts. He gave you a side glance before giving you a smug look. "It wasn't very hard to tell what you were thinking."

You gulped and averted your attention back to the cake that was slowly getting lit and the siblings you had met earlier had come around to greet you again.

"Hey, [name]! We were wondering where you disappeared of to." Tanjiro smiled at you and Nezuko nodded in agreement.

"Huh," You folded your arms to look at Yoriichi but he avoided your gaze. "well, I was distracted for a bit."

"Distracted? By what?" Nezuko asked. The innocent glimmer in her eyes was too cute for words. Tanjiro's face immediately pinkened at her question.

"D-don't question adults about their private lives, Nezuko!" Tanjiro interjected as he looked at his sister in embarrassment. "P-please don't mind her. She really doesn't know any better."

Tanjiro suddenly made Nezuko and himself bow down to the both of you multiple times until Yoriichi and you were agitated telling them to stop.

"It's really not a big deal." Yoriichi began as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, I mean it's not what you think." You scrambled, waving your hands around.

"It's not?" Yoriichi questioned looking at you. Your eyes widened for a moment and Tanjiro looked between the both of you. Little did you know, Tanjiro had a keen smell for all different types of things. In fact, it was so strong that people used to nickname him "inu". He could definitely get a good whiff of the brewing romance between you two, but that was something Tanjiro would be keeping to himself...for now.

"Yoriichi." A deep voice shook your core. The room became silent the moment he spoke and you wondered why you were here for the millionth time. Dare you even look up from your position?

"Father." Yoriichi deadpanned. He merely shoved his hands in his pants pockets as he looked up at his father. You peeked over at his father who was now staring at you, but a nervous tick came over you causing you to look down once more.

"Who's this?"

Yoriichi had to hold himself back from telling him off but instead he simply answered, "[name]."

You could feel his father's curious glare on you. "Is that what you go by?"

You cleared your throat. "Yes, I go by just that."

He smiled at you and there was that charm again making your heart thump against your chest. What the hell is it with this family?

"It's nice to meet you, [name]." He held out his hand for you and you looked to Yoriichi as if to ask for permission.

His father laughed at you. "What has Yoriichi told you that already has you doubting me?"

"U-um, nothing at all actually." You fiddled with your hands before his father held them still in his hands. Yoriichi's eyes widened at the sight and he was sure everyone else's had too, but the rage that was building and threatened to come out was practically pouding at the cage it was in ready to be released.

"You can call me, Izanagi." He firmly grasped his hand in yours as he shook them and then let them fall to your side. You couldn't even look at him. Merely just bowing your head in respect as you inched closer to Yoriichi's side and he welcomed it. His arm enveloped your waist immediately claiming you.

"We can talk later." He bowed at you before retreating back to the party and it was as if he was gliding away with how graceful and poise he was. The voices of the party goers began to start again as they returned their attention back to the cake being lit. Most of it already melted at the length of the conversation. You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until Yoriichi pulled you out of your stupor.

"Hey, are you okay?" His hand was now cupping your face and the expression on his visage was coupled with worry and concern.

"I-I'm fine." You slowly remove his hand from your cheek. The sound of drunken singing from the adults began as they circled around the cake. It made everyone under the age of thirty roll their eyes to the back of their heads.

"We'll get cake later." He smiled warmly at you as he took your hand and led you to the opposite end of the cafe. A dainty figure is sitting at the table that you and Yoriichi had shared your first coffee with. She was dressed in a matching yukata of Izanagi's, but hers somehow looked even more elegant with embroidered sakura blossoms lining the sleeves and hem. It graced her whole body. If she had any tattoos the fabric was covering it.

She sipped at an expresso as she stared out the window in deep thought. Her hair was tightly wrapped in a neat bun with a beautiful sakura hairpin lined in gold at the top of it. Her sleek dark brown eyes met yours and she smiled at you. This time the smile reminded you of Yoriichi. Warm and pleasant. It was a different kind of welcoming. You felt no sense of danger, just tranquility in her gaze.

"Okasan." Yoriichi breathed as he bent down to greet his mother with a bear hug. Yup, definitely a mama's boy.

"Yoriichi, it's so nice to see you finally have a girlfriend." Her smile was teasing. Yoriichi immediately puffed up in agitation at her words.

"She's not my--"

"We're just friends." You interjected smiling at her. She held both of her hands out to gesture you to come closer.

"Okay, let's go with that for now. Let me look at you, dear."

You stepped forward and she brought you closer, gently holding your arms and the familiarity of her tenderness was making you feel secure.

"You're quite beautiful, [name]." She cooed as she took your face in her hands. Her hands emulating a real mother's touch.

"Guess everyone knows my name now, huh." You giggled.

"Yes, you've made quite a name out of yourself. In a good way, of course." She beamed at you and you averted your eyes feeling bashful at her words.

"I certainly hope so."

"Okasan, don't you think that's enough?" Yoriichi's voice coming in between you two.

"Can I not inspect a future suitor?" She inquired. Yoriichi and your mouths both went aslack at her blunt words.

Future suitor?!

"She's just kidding." Yoriichi stepped in immediately countering her bold claim. "Tell her you're kidding."

Yoriichi's mom rolled her eyes and giggled. "Yes, I'm only kidding, dear. Loosen up."

Your tense body relaxed as she fought off giggles much to Yoriichi's visible dismay. "Right, well it's getting late..."

"Oh, nonsense. Please have some cake and sit with me. I think we'll get along just marvelously." She urged you to sit down. "Yoriichi bring us some cake."

"Yes, Okasan." He sighed in annoyance as he disappeared into the crowd to his mother's bidding.

You laughed at him as you watched him fight for plates and utensils, but Yoriichi's mother collected your attention. "So, I think you've probably figured out that I'm nothing like Yoriichi and Michikatsu's father."

"Yes, that I can gather at the very least." You said rather bluntly. You covered your mouth immediately shocked at your brashness which only caused Yoriichi's mother to laugh.

"I'm not offended at all. Izanagi is..." Her thoughts seem to go somewhere far away.

"Here you go." Yoriichi handed you both pieces of cake and just like Uncle Keshi had mentioned before, it looked "magnificent."

"Thank you, dear." Yoriichi's mother smiled at him. Her eyes were back to the present now and you took the hint to change the subject.

"Thanks, this looks really good." You hummed at you took a bite immediately as Yoriichi slid into his seat. He looked at you pleased with his work and his mother was too keen for her own good observing the situation play out.

"You've out done yourself this time, Yoriichi." His mother mused taking a bite.

Your eyes widened at her words. "You made this?"

He gives his mother a look before nodding. His expression was vexed yet bashful. No one really knew that he had made the cakes for their anniversaries for the past six years. He simply would say he called the local bakery and ordered a cake and no one seemed suspicious so he went with it, until well, now no thanks to his mother.

"Do you like it?"

You nodded your head with a pleased expression. "Yeah, it's like, probably the best cake I've ever had. I had no idea you baked, too."

He gave his mother another look as she feigned innocence. "Yeah, not a lot of people know that."

"Well, now that you're here. Tell me about yourself, [name]. I've been dying to know about the girl that's been spending a remarkable amount of time with my son." His mother leans her chin against her palm. The guilt-less smile that was on her face was entirely smug and nosy to Yoriichi. He knew his mother better than anyone, but maybe this time he would let it slide.

"Well," You began looking to Yoriichi first before speaking about how you guys were partners in a new project for your Western Civilization class and then that somehow turned into Yoriichi's mother showing you baby pictures of the twins. Yoriichi didn't seem to mind as he watched you two get along with one another. The night had quickly passed with drunken adults singing at the tops of their lungs and their offspring slowly sneaking off to avoid taking care of them. None of you had realized how much time had passed by until you checked your phone for notifications and the time had read 1:02AM.

"Oh, shit." You whispered.

"What's wrong?" Yoriichi asked looking at you and then at his own phone. "Oh, wow. It's really late."

"Very."

Yoriichi's mother shot an eyebrow at the both of you. "Late? The night's still young and you guys are full of life. Why not enjoy for a couple of more hours."

"Okasan." Yoriichi's voice was warning towards his mother not to overstep.

"Well, it's really up to [name]."

They both turned to look at you awaiting your response and you felt immensely pressured, but by the way your eyes were beginning to droop had already gave the answer away.

Yoriichi and his mother laughed at you. "Yeah, you're like, about to pass out."

"I can stay up for a little longer." You slurred, trying to keep up with the conversation. You hadn't even had a sip of alcohol but you were already feeling drunken from the night.

"You definitely can't." He laughed, getting up and helping you stand.

"I'm okay." You brushed him off but as soon as you did, you felt yourself collapse into his arms. You were too tired to even feel embarrassed at his point so you allowed yourself to let him capture you and envelope you in his warm embrace. Yoriichi felt the corner of his lips curl up as he held you up straighter.

"It doesn't look like it."

Your head lolled against his sturdy shoulder. "You can just call me a cab."

"Don't you live like two blocks down?" He asked, peering down at your limp body. You only grunted in response which made him chuckle under his breath. He could feel his mother eyes watching the both of them but at this point all his focus was on you and you only.

"Mhmmm." Was all you could manage as Yoriichi was walking you out. The thought of you not acknowledging his mother on your way out hit you and you perked up as you turned around to apologize.

"That is so rude of me!" You bowed down immediately as you watched her grin at you not even the least bit offended. "It was so nice to meet you Mrs. Tsugikini! Thank you for your hospitality!"

She waved you off as she patted her face with her napkin. "No need, dear. It was a pleasure to meet you and I hope to see more of you."

"I'll be back, okasan." Yoriichi bowed to his mother before helping you out the door. You said goodbye to the rest of his relatives as you headed out. Your eye had caught Michikatsu's and you stared at each other for a moment. He gave you a small smug look as you passed and it made your heart thud loudly against your chest. His eyes flickered to Yoriichi's and the look on face never left him and you felt yourself being tugged away and then it was finally quiet. You no longer needed the support of Yoriichi because you were hyperaware of everything that was happening. Yoriichi Tsugikini was really walking you home like it was a date!

You bit back a smile as you both listened to the clacking of your heeled boots hitting the concrete. "Thanks for inviting me. I had a lot of fun."

He cracked a smile as he looked from the ground to you. "Minus the family drama I'm assuming?"

"What are you talking about that was the best part." You both laughed and then it went quiet again. You stopped in front of your building and pointed with your thumb to the residence.

"Well, this is me. Thanks, again."

He took a deep breath and then let out as he peered up at the rows and rows of balconies. "Quaint."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Not bad for 120,000 yen a month."

He didn't reply for a moment as he kicked at the ground before stepping up to you and closing the space between the both of you. His hands caressed your cheeks and then raked themselves into your hair and you could feel your heart racing with every second his skin was touching yours.

His breath tickled yours as he leaned in millimeters away from your lips. Your foreheads now touching and he suddenly stops. "We shouldn't see each other anymore."

You felt your breath catch in your throat and your heart plummet to your feet. "Why?"

You voice was shaky and you swallowed hard as you searched his face for an answer. "I just don't think it's a good idea. You've already seen too much and I don't know if I could bear to see you...to see you..."

Yoriichi's maroon gaze was far away now. It reminded you of his mother's when you mentioned Akeno. "To see me what?"

His hand left your hair and now on the top of your head ruffling it making your nose scrunch. "I just need to see you healthy and alive and thriving."

"Huh?"

What the fresh hell was he even talking about? I mean, of course, that was well--nice? But the tone he was using, and that the expression on his face was telling another story beyond your knowledge. Yoriichi was trying his best to keep his secret sealed tight and you far away from it. He couldn't risk another tragic and heartbreaking incident. It would drive him over the edge getting close to someone else even if it had been years since.

He removed his hand entirely and shoved it into his pants pocket, stepping away from you. His warmth leaving you and you felt cold. Not just physically, but emotionally. You could feel the distance in his body language and then way he was looking at you. He was starting to turn his emotions off and becoming a stranger again.

"Just get inside." He said softly.

He really didn't want to say that. I mean he really, really didn't want to say that. In fact, if it were up to him he would've kissed you right then and there and sealed the deal, but he knew better. He didn't want to endanger you anymore than he already had.

You were dumbfounded as you just gawked at him. It felt like all the progress you had just made just vanished into the air and you felt empty.

You scoffed and shook your head. "Wow, you're ridiculous."

Maybe you should've known better. The apple probably didn't fall far from the tree.

"Whatever, I guess I'll see you when we need to do our project."

You turned around to walk to your building, but Yoriichi's voice stopped you. "Don't worry about it."

"What?" Your voice was clearly showing signs of annoyance.

"I'll finish it by tomorrow."

You turned around to face him once more and the expression on his face was dead serious. "Why?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Cuz' I just want to make it easier on you."

You rolled your eyes. "Fuck off."

Your fists were now balled up as you stared down at him from the small steps you had climbed up. He was unbelievable. Without another word you turned around again and fished your keys out of your pocket to unlock the apartment door.

"Good night, [name]."

You stopped in your tracks. As you rotated your head to say something snarky, you realized he was gone.

"Fucking dumbass." You mumbled to yourself as you headed inside. You hit the elevator button and fiddled with your keys as you watched the numbers go up higher and higher.

...2...3...4...5...6...ding!

You clenched your teeth as you walked down the hallways. Voices and laughing filled the halls as you passed every door, but as you approached your apartment it was quieter. Not like that was new or anything. Your neighbors were more on the elderly side. They slept early and kept to themselves and they appreciated that you did as well. You sighed as you lifted your key to unlock your door but it kept going red no matter how many times you tried. Your frustration built up as you did it again and again and still it was declining your key. Tears pricked at your eyes as you leaned your head against the door. A silent weep emitted from you and you couldn't control the tears that trickled down your cheeks and neck. You didn't want to admit it, but Yoriichi really did hurt your feelings. You had thought that he really liked you back, but instead he just played you for a fool.

Enough.

You straigtened yourself out, breathed in through your nostrils and held your key once again to the deadbolt and finally, it flashed green. You let out an exasperated sigh of relief as you unlocked your door and stepped into your studio and locked the door behind you. As you walked over to your bed, you noticed an envelop left ontop of it.

As you further inspected the card something had dropped out of it and you picked it up not looking at it but instead focusing on the written note.

Just in case u get lucky 2nite ;) -M+S

You glanced at your hand to see a wrapped condom or should you say a small roll of them. Another note on it.

In case u go 4 rounds

You laughed out loud. At least, your friends still had your back. You wiped away the tears that stained your face and plopped onto your bed. Feelings of disappointment and anger crawled from the back of your mind and began to intrude your thoughts. You laid down and closed your eyes for a moment.

"This is why I don't have crushes."

You facepalmed and sighed loudly. Men never failed to disappoint you, but you weren't going to switch sides either. Your phone had buzzed in your hand and you felt a spark of joy for a moment until you looked at your screen.

Hope you're having fun ;) -Shinobu

Another buzz.

Give her some space! -Mitsuri

Your face dropped and you quickly put your phone on Do Not Disturb. What a pain those two had been. How could you have any ounce of faith in him after the way he had left you high and dry tonight?

He doesn't deserve you.

You nodded to yourself and sat up straight as you balled your hand into a fist firing yourself up.

"Yeah he doesn't deserve you!" You shouted and then covered your mouth realizing how loud you were. Your shoulders slouched at thought of him nearly kissing you but you shook the thought away. You had to move forward from this no matter how painful it had been for him to just leave you like that. He was an asshole, a jerk, a dickbag and you sure as hell didn't need him.

"Right!" You whisper shouted getting pumped again. "You don't him or any man."

You nodded to yourself profusely as you got ready for bed, chanting positive affirmations as you brushed your teeth and washed your face. After cleaning yourself up, you finally slipped under your covers and you felt the negative thoughts rush in once more. You wondered where it all went wrong. Did you come on too strong? Should you not have talked to his mom? Should you have excused yourself when you had the chance?

Question after question had seemed to race by in your mind until you were too tired to even think anymore. You simply had to leave it to tomorrow.

158 notes · View notes

levisgirll · 3 years

Note

hello! if it's okay can i please request a little levi comfort one shot or headcanons? basically where he helps his s/o through a point in her life where she feels like she isn't good enough for levi or anyone and is just a crying mess in her room? lots of fluff please! thank u so much <3

𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬) ♡

text: wow thank you so much sweet anon for your request!!💕💕 i took my time to write this because i wanted it to be special and tried my best so i hope u enjoy this :,) pls send another request if you want to later in the future! ( i like ur ideas-). also sorry this was super late, i was busy with personal things and it got really hard for me to handle which took long ;c

synopsis: you were going through a really hard phase in your life right now. thinking you are not good enough to anyone, and not just anyone but especially your boyfriend, levi. he knows you well, too well, and he knows something is definitely up with you. once he finds out the reason he becomes devastated and comforts you in his own way which you realize it was quite unique and rare.

okay but big warning this is super fluff which will warm your heart (i promise!), and a lil bit of angst I guess🥺💕 enjoy!

He started to pick this up when you did not say ‘love’ back to him and when you started to avoid him, and talk less with him.

He tries to go closer to you and I find Levi trying to find the the right words what to say to you and he struggles to get the chance to hold your hand.

This actually made him upset and I find Levi a guy who later goes back and reflects everything he might have done to upset his girlfriend.

And this is canon, because Isayama stated the scene with rod, when Eren stopped as soon as he said that ‘comment’ when Levi was behind him, this made Levi think that had to mean this is how Eren and probably the others sees him. So when you slowly started to avoid him or not reply to him, this made him sad and he HAD to find out how to comfort u! sure he got upset but he wont sit down and do nothing.

It hurts his heart, because you are his lover.

But one day, he entered your bedroom and saw you crying your eyes out. Holding on to yourself as you sat down on the edge of your bedroom, sobbing. This shocked him, and his eyes would be wide open.

Since he shows a lot with actions, when he sees you crying, he goes and sits next to you and starts to rub from the nape of your neck and going down to your back slowly, showing that he is trying to calm down your sobbings and that he is here for you. “Let it out love, you have been strong for too long so don't hold back your tears.” Levi would say as you started to calm down. His heart would hurt and be in pain as he sees his lover cry, he wanted to help but he knew that it was always good to let it out first and wait till you are ready.

He then would mention all the times you were so nice, great and the many things you have done for him and others (just to cheer you up a bit) that y/n never even acknowledged. “D-Did I do that? I can’t seem to remember...” You would say as you wipe your tears with your fingers, Levi would sigh and give you a small smile, “You cant be forgetting that? that's why you mean a lot to me.” as he ruffled your hair.

He would go on and say that if you had close friends, family, etc and then including himself, there were people who care and love you. “And, you know I am always rooting for you to pull though whatever phase you are going through. I want you...to feel happy again, Y/N.” He would say quietly and softly rub your hands while looking at your E/C eyes, he was also clearly blushing and he tried his best not to stutter (cause that's how he is when he has a heart to heart conversation with you and he wants you to feel his warmth and love through his words)

“Whenever your ready to tell me either tomorrow or in a couple of days, that is fine but just know...I'm here.” Levi would say and hug your chest so lovely, you finally calmed down and decided to tell him what was bothering you.

Y/N: “It’s just....I feel like am”

Levi: “Like?”

Levi would patiently wait for your response and still looking at your eyes waiting for your answer as he was holding your face with both of this hands. “Like I’m not enough for....you” you looked away and pulled your face away from his face.

He was looking at you with a hurtful look on his face. Levi feels bad actually that you been thinking like this around him this whole time. “I thought I made u feel somehow special, cause you make me feel like that.”

He moved away and was by your side, he touched your hand and was pulling your fingers that was on the bed. “I’m sorry you were feeling like this. But, what is enough to begin with? Isn’t just being who you are...the good, kind, badass and lovely person you are is enough instead? To be good is enough, and I value that about you..”

“Levi….Love.” You say as you hiccup from your tears. That signaled him to go near you, so he got a chair and brought that in front of you as you were sitting on the edge of the bed and he held your hands softly and carefully while brining his handkerchief to wipe your tears that was running down your cheeks. “You know…I don’t think there was a day I did not think of you or did not love you. I cant even think of a day where I wasn't....and instead the days you weren’t by my side my mind was just filled with you.”

He does small affections and talks from the bottom of his heart while looking at you filled with love, and it was only to you and that meant a lot. He wouldn’t even do this to anyone as he doesn’t let anyone see this side of him but y/n, he cherishes this relationship so much.

He starts to take this opportunity to compliment you when he was longing to do that but, never knew how and when cause he was really nervous. He starts to talk how pretty your eyes, scars, hair, lips, body and so on is.

As he is complimenting you, go would go near you and towards your shoulders to leave some kisses there while he would brush your hair with his slender fingers smoothly “Is this okay?”. He wants to know if what he is doing is making you feel calm so he would continue if you nodded. He then whispers to your ear as he closes his eyes, “do you feel my love?”

He will encourage your self-care and confidence, because he really wants the best for you and realize how amazing you are!

“You know, I would be a fool to leave you alone tonight. I promised you that I will do everything in my power to help you once we got together to make us happy, Hm? So let me remind you tonight how special and enough you are to me..”

He would hold each of your finger one by one and stating every reason how much you mean to him “...even your fingers cant match up to the many reasons why you mean a lot to me.” Levi said with a soft chuckle and you started to blush.

After you and Levi spent a long time together, you both laid down on your bed and y/n slept first which gave Levi the chance to stare at your beautiful face this whole night. He loves it when you sleep next to him as he held you with his strong muscular arms, because this makes him at ease and at peace, he loved your presence it was magical to him.

After that long evening, he doesn't stop to show you his love and how much he thinks of you so he leaves you flowers on your bed whenever he goes out on a mission or even to wall sina/rose and you find that so pure. I see Levi actually doing this for his s/o as he tries to make up for his lack of words(cause he is kind of awkward with romantic words but that is only because he loves u deeply!!) he leaves u these flowers and you collect them all in a vase and that makes him wanna get you more.

Your presence meant the world to him, and Levi does not just pick ‘anyone’ to be his significant other and he felt such a lucky man to find you instead. This guy really loved his girlfriend, y/n.

Levi starts to interlock your pinky, he took this chance to finally overcome his awkwardness and shyness and he would do it anywhere.

Whenever you guys go out to buy something Levi would not let you leave the shop until you pick something. “Go on then, pick what you like.”

If you ask him literally ANYTHING, he is more than happy to try his best to help you and if he might not be able to, he will get others that will help you. In the end of the day you are gonna get that help.

When you both clean and you are both alone while the others went off to clean the other places, he would go behind you and hug you tightly around your waist and breathe in “you smell nice love, and you look nice.” And he would give you a long and soft kiss on the nape of your neck. No one would even believe you if you tell them that he is now recently doing this, but that just shows how special, important and enough you are to him and not anyone can see this side but you ❤️

He actually goes out and look for you one evening and he takes you to a nice spot in the cliff and u guys star gaze together?? I really see Levi doing this to cheer up his significant other and he would make his move later on by putting his hand around your waist and would give you kisses on your cheek under the moonlight. “Wow, it’s a beautiful night sky” his girlfriend would say looking up with finally a smile on her, this made Levi extremely happy inside. “It sure is, love.” Looking at you instead of the night sky with his soft smile that warmed your heart. It made your mind race. You were the only one who made him feel like this and even smile. You were more than enough to him.

Y/N: “Can we stay a little bit longer?”

Levi: “Little? Tch, I don't mind all night for you.” He would say while looking away to hide his face cause he was being nervous and he knew his face was red now!

He likes to watch your face reactions and expressions to any of his tea he would make for you or some snacks he would buy for you, and he finds it so cute. It was another of many ways to show his affection towards you.

Things happen for a reason right? and this made you see more of Levi and your bond with him was now stronger than ever.

Now, whenever you feel sad or want to cry, you now realize you have a shoulder to cry on and it was your amazing boyfriend, Levi.

He is literally more than ready to drop everything and give you one big embrace. “Darling, just know I am deeply in love with you. And I’m here to help, I mean what are partners for, Hm?”

Like how he is always here to save you, have your back, support you, he will surely do anything else for you.

i hope you liked this anon and you are able to see this post c: <3 and if anyone else perhaps enjoyed it please leave a like or a reblog! I would appreciate it a lot <3 thanks again everyone :,)

156 notes · View notes

gubler-me-up · 4 years

Text

Two Left Feet

Request: heyyy could u pls do a spencer x fem!reader where it’s jj and will’s wedding. people have been convincing spencer to dance all night but he just admires reader dancing from afar (they’re both crushing on each other) eventually he dances with her to “can’t take my eyes off of you” and ends with a kiss?? kinda specific but i think i’d be super cute

A/N: Thanks for the prompt, @l0ve-0f-my-life! I hope this is cute enough for you 🥺I tried to make it as sweet as possible without giving you any cavities LOL I wasn’t sure which version of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You you wanted, so I didn’t specify, I hope that’s okay! Hope you enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: Nothing just pure fluff

Word count: 1.5k

-------------

JJ and Will’s wedding was probably the most beautiful wedding you had been to in a while. After all the chaos the day before brought to the team it felt as if this was the sweetest outcome to happen. It was about time JJ gave in to Will’s proposal.

JJ was extra beautiful that evening in her mother’s wedding gown as she walked down the aisle to meet Will to exchange vows. You and Garcia couldn’t contain your emotions as you watched JJ and Will exchange their vows. You had your money on Penelope shedding the first tear, but you found little tears escaping your eyes before hers even formed. Maybe you were the bigger sap when it came to romance.

During the reception, you were able to take a few pictures of everyone looking gorgeous in their formal wear. Seeing everyone in such a celebratory mood was definitely something you wanted to capture and save forever. Some of your favourite pictures were with Spencer and Derek because their dynamics were so different when it came to poses. Derek was all for the camera while Spencer wasn’t quite sure how he should pose. Another set of pictures you loved were the ones with the JJ, Emily and Penelope. Those pictures reminded you of how lucky you were to have those three amazing women in your life.

The best part of any wedding was when everyone got a chance to bust a move on the dance floor. You loved dancing and it was even more satisfying to do with a crowd. With a dangerous amount of alcohol in everyone’s systems, no one was shying away from the dance floor. Well, almost no one.

You had been dancing with anyone who approached you. Whether it was a slow song or dance song, you didn’t hesitate to bust a move. Emily and Derek were probably the only two other people who could out dance you which made dancing with them even more fun. Seeing Hotch smiling and dancing was even a better sight to see. It made it seem as if he had a bit of happiness left in him, which made you happy.

Seeing JJ and Will dance so close to each other gave you something to admire. You wish you had someone to hold as intimately as they held each other. The thought made you realize you hadn’t seen Spencer on the dance floor at all. You looked around to see where he could be hiding. You went over to where Penelope and Derek were getting their two-step on.

“Hey, guys. Have you seen, Spence?” You asked.

Derek smirked. “You mean Dr. Won’t dance, but will admire from afar?”

You raised a questionable eyebrow. Derek spared you from any further confusion when he pointed towards a table to your right. You saw Spencer sitting there, pretending to look off into space. You kept your eye on him until he finally peaked back your way. You gave him a smile and a tiny wave. He awkwardly waved back before he looked away again.

You turned back to Derek. “Why isn’t he dancing?”

“We’ve all been asking him the same thing all night, but he says he’s content sitting and watching everyone have a good time,” he explained.

“Which is total bullshit because he’s been looking at you dance the whole night,” Penelope chimed in.

You blushed. “Really? How do you know he’s been looking at me specifically?”

“Well, that’s the real reason we’ve all been pushing him to come out and dance. He obviously wants to dance with you, but doesn’t know how to ask. He’s not as smooth as the king of persuasion over here,” Derek joked.

Penelope playfully rolled her eyes as she light hit his chest. “Oh please, the only reason you can persuade is because of that sly smile of yours. Reid is a little ball of nerves and adorable awkwardness. He just needs the right person to bring him out of his shell.”

“That would help. Who do you think could do that?” You asked.

“Y/N, you’re a whole profiler and you couldn’t figure out the right person for the job is you?” Derek joked.

“Me? But if I go over there now and ask him to dance with me, won’t he know you two told me to ask him to dance?” You asked.

“As long as his little butt gets on the dance floor with you, I don’t care if he knows we exposed him. Now go, my tiny dancer,” Penelope said.

You wanted to get a few final words in, but Derek and Penelope kept shooing you away. You sighed and made your way up to Spencer. You were thinking of the best ways to persuade him to dance with you. You knew how shy he was and how much he hated attention on him, so you would understand if he didn’t want to dance.

He had noticed you walking his way. He sat upright in his chair and smoothed his tie down. You could tell he was becoming nervous just by you approaching him. You made sure to soften your face and keep your smile gentle to show him there wasn’t anything to worry about.

“Hey, Spence, I’ve been looking all around for you. Why are you sitting? The dance floor too hot for you,” you joked.

He awkwardly smiled. “No, no, I-I, um, just wanted to sit for a while.”

“A while? Spence, ten songs have gone by already. That’s like almost an hour of you just sitting.”

“46 minutes and 27 seconds, but I’m not counting.”

You giggled. “Well, if you don’t wanna sit and “not count” anymore, we can dance.”

“Did Morgan and Garcia tell you to ask me? Don’t make them pressure you into doing anything,” he said.

You shook your head. “No. Well, they did tell me you have been watching me dance. Then again I’ve been trying to find you, so I guess we’ve both have been trying to see one another.”

You could see Spencer’s cheeks turn a rosy red when you said that. He licked his lips as he searched for the right words to respond with. As he thought of what to say you could hear Can’t Take My Eyes Off You playing. Without hesitation you grabbed Spencer’s hand and pulled him out of his seat.

“You have to dance with me for this one song. This is one of my favourite songs,” you told him as you dragged him onto the dance floor.

“Uh, okay,” he said.

You could hear the uncertainty in his voice, but you made sure to wipe that away when you pulled him close to you. A bright smile appeared across your face and he reflected it right back at you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he gently placed his hands on your waist.

“Y/N, I have a confession,” Spencer said.

You looked at him confused. “What is it?”

“I’ve been watching you dance, so I could analyze how to properly dance with you. I was nervous my dancing would embarrass you if I had asked you right away,” he said.

“Oh God, Spencer, you could never do anything to embarrass me. You’re dancing perfectly. I wouldn’t change a thing about this moment,” you said as you laid your head on his chest.

You could hear his heart racing inside his chest. Even the music couldn’t cancel out the beat of his heart fluttering at your words. It felt nice knowing your heart wasn’t the only one racing.

“You mean that?” He asked.

You lifted your head to look at him. “Of course.”

Before the moment left, you leaned up to kiss him. With no hesitation he kissed you back and pulled you in closer to him. The private moment between you two couldn’t last forever since the whistling and “awes” had already started. You two parted lips and looked around to see a few delighted eyes looking your way.

“Ugh, it’s about time they made some kind of move on each other,” you heard Penelope say.

You and Spencer turned your attention to the right to see Penelope, JJ and Derek staring at you guys with huge smiles. You and Spencer blushed from the attention they were giving you. You knew this faraway crush you had on each other was noticeable, but you didn’t know it was supported that much.

“I think there might be a possibility of another wedding soon,” JJ teased.

You giggled. “We’re gonna take things slow. Isn’t that right, Spence?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“Take it slow in the streets, but take it fast in the sh-”

You cut off Derek by shooing them all away before the conversation went too in-depth. All three of them laughed and obliged as they went back to dancing. You and Spencer laughed to yourselves as you both went back to dancing.

You two went on to dance to a few more songs before the night ended. You didn’t need a camera to remember the feeling of Spencer holding you tight and dancing with you. You were glad there was something real between you two and that it was finally being put into action. You thought you should have tried harder to catch the bouquet earlier on in the night. Even though you didn’t it was definitely your night to dance with the man of your dreams.

—–

MASTERLIST

#spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #dr.spencer reid #Spencerreid #mgg #Matthew Gray Gubler #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid request #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

773 notes · View notes

jordannxbbs · 2 years

Text

i started writing this in the 87th minute, but it was far too chaotic and didnt make sense. arsenal vs barcelona (0-4)

i wasnt expecting much from this game. its barcelona.

again, i really think jonas struggles with creating starting xi’s that are effective, or whoever has come up with the last few, can’t do starting line ups.

goalkeeping: manu is solely carrying us this month and shes doing it flawlessly. shes really putting her life on the line every game (literally with some of the saves today) and you can see why shes jonas’ number one gk. for sunday, give manu a break and give lydstheaussie some game time pls shes an icon.

backline: although the scoreline does not reflect this, and i think i will get attacked for saying this, i think the backline was better than sundays. jens passing abilities are still lacking and are still often where we concede, this is barcelona we cant do that. although, some of her blocks today were successful and key so brownie points for her. steph impressed me today, but honestly she never impresses me so she wasnt outstanding. i felt towards the end of the game, she pushed further up the pitch when we were in possession meaning we had more passing options rather than just beth, kim, katie and mana. katie was fine as per usual, really missed her in that position in the ch*lsea game so glad to see her there again. in the first half an hour, keets really impressed me, although i did not appreciate her trying to play as a defender and on the wing, it wasnt effective or clever today. looking ahead to sunday, it should in theory be easier for us, so i would like anna patten please jonas and lia and simone and katie to be the back four just to be chaotic and sophisticated at the same time. cause we deserve a laugh after the week we’ve had.

midfield: the only issues i have is frida but she wasn’t terrible she just wasn’t jordan or kim or mana. i know she’s not meant to be but i liked the spice jordan had in the first half. jonas and jordan arguing made my day clearly we should listen to her. it was probably jonas’ idea not to use blu as the sausage dog in the advert.. cause who was that dog and where was our icon blu nobbs. jordan’s almost goal would have been amazing, and im really upset it just missed. i think it would have been a perfect “f u” to the decisions made on sunday. kim was on form as usual but a little quiet sometimes. didnt really mind though. sometimes i feel the game is lost in the midfield but today i didnt feel that. we lost the game because it was barcelona. mana was key as soon as she came on, understanding the assignment exactly as per usual. and lia was eh, not special, apart from when she really tried to keep that goal out, she could have done better, could have done worse. love how she came on and got booked for no reason. as for sunday, mana, jordan, kim. thats all

frontline: poor beth. one of the last tackles on her was a red no arguments, but it is what it is. i did not appreciate the constant bashing of beth, they clearly knew she was a threat. she should be rested on sunday, we need her to rest shes key for hoffenheim. caitlin was good for a bit, better defensively than attacking wise, glad they ended up putting her up front. had her on the edge of the 18 yard rather than down the sides of the 6 yard. the possible chance she missed honestly wasnt her fault, it was a bad ball by parris and i think she should have been given that foul when she got taken down at some point, it looked to me pretty bad at least. viv was uneventful, but shes still a goat so eh, when she did drop down she got a few headers that got it back up but it went straight barcelona as per usual. loved how lisa came to watch, shes the sweetest human.

ref wasn’t great today in aspects, but what can you do.

i dont agree with many things jonas does nowadays, but im hoping next year we can turn a new leaf ie. leah returns and all will be right in the world. “jordan will be key” play her more than 60 minutes then.

ive been writing this for 45 minutes i need to get a grip

#arsenal women #arsenal wfc #jonas eidevall #jordan nobbs #kim little #nikita parris #viv miedema #beth mead #katie mccabe #jen beattie #steph catley #lia wälti

25 notes · View notes

biisexualemma · 4 years

Text

pretend. oscar diaz

word count: 1396

warnings: swearing and brief mention of sex and i oop-

requested: hi!! im in love with your writing!!🤍🤍 you're so talented!! you can totally ignore this if it's a terrible idea lol but could you write a situation where the reader and spooky have to pretend to date and one of them develops real feelings. dw if you don't want to do this, im looking forward to reading all of your future works! 💞 💞

hey i adore your spooky imagines😍🥰 could i pls ask for an imagine where they're fake dating? cliche i know but i love me some spooky where he catches feelings without even realising it🥺 thank you so much!!💖💖

hey could you do an imagine with spooky where he and the reader are fake dating for some reason and they fall for each other? ty!! :)

a/n: so many requested this so i put ‘em all into one imagine bc they’re all the same request hehe but thank u! probs will do a part two because i have more to write but this was already long enough and i just like the suspense of it all hahaha oop

pt.2 / pt.3

masterlist

"i don't like it," your best friend wore a concerned frown on her face. you shrugged. "and i don't support it."

"you don't have to," you rolled your eyes. "it's not like anyone will get hurt, it's just pretend."

"you say that now," she crossed her arms over her chest. "you used to crush pretty hard on him and i don't want you to get seriously invested, for him to break your heart."

"i won't," you stressed. "it's not like that, i'm doing him a favour," she didn't look too convinced but she couldn't do much to change your mind at this point. "besides, it's just for a few weeks."

she hummed, unconvinced. "come on! you like oscar, i don't know what your problem is?"

"you don't have to convince me of anything, this is your business," she shrugged. you felt a little hurt by her comment. you didn't talk about it again all night. you didn't like not agreeing with her about anything. it was unsettling.

you laughed at something your friend had said, sipping the alcohol from the cup in your hand. "i never said that!" you gawked.

he only let out a chuckle. "you were drunk! how you gonna remember what you said and what you didn't?" he teased, laughing with you as you rolled your eyes.

your eyes moved across the party to where oscar was sitting with his friends, in a similar position to you. he was laughing at something someone had said, you felt your eyes lingering for a moment.

your friend hummed, catching your stare. "how's that going?" he raised an eyebrow when he spoke.

"uh, good. i guess," you shrugged, sipping your drink again to disguise how little you had to say about him as your boyfriend. you only really saw him at parties and occasionally he'd have you 'round with his friends. other than that, you didn't see much of each other. it was weird, you felt like you saw more of him when you were just friends. now that you were pretending all the time, it didn't feel like it did before.

"good?" he frowned. "that's it? give me the juice— how is he in bed? i heard he's pretty good," he pursed his lips as he spoke. your face contorted when he brought the topic of sex up.

"where do you here these things?" you scoffed.

"you didn't answer my question," he nudged your arm. you glanced at him again, he caught your gaze this time and you quickly looked back at your friend.

"i don't know," you shrugged. "we haven't done anything yet. he wants to take it slow or something," it felt weird lying through your teeth like this. especially to one of your closest friends. also, you weren't a very good liar at the best of times and something told you that your friend didn't believe you.

"doesn't sound like the spooky i've heard about," he made a face and you shrugged again.

"you need to stop listening to these things about my boyfriend, please," you joked halfheartedly, hoping to diverge the topic of conversation.

you spent the rest of the party mainly with your friends, until later in the night when oscar grabbed your arm and pulled you aside. he took you away from your friends and his. he backed you against a nearby wall, reaching out and picking up your hands with his. he began to fidget with your fingers.

you gulped, it was weird being this close to him still and having him treat you like this. you'd been friends for so long it was weird seeing this side of him.

"you good?" he mumbled. you nodded, letting out a soft smile. "i saw you talking to your friend earlier."

you hummed. "yeah," you shrugged. "he was asking me about you."

oscar wore a smile when you said this, breathing a laugh. "oh yeah?" you nodded, mimicking his smile. you could talk to oscar like this no problem, it was the intimacy you were getting used to. "that's why you couldn't keep your eyes off me, huh?"

"ha-ha," you teased, rolling your eyes. "you're just so attractive, it's hard to look away," you raised an eyebrow, teasing him. he nudged your stomach with his elbow, you hurled over a little and laughed.

"shut up," his hands moved to your neck, his thumbs rubbing against your jaw line. it was kind of comforting having him touch you like this. and even if this was just for show, it proved what you always knew deep down— that oscar was a softie. "i'm gonna kiss you now, ok?"

you stiffened a little, he stepped closer, pushing you further up against the wall. your breath caught in your throat a little but still you nodded. you knew this was part of the deal but still, this was the first time of you'd kissed each other. and it was in a very public place.

before you could voice your uneasiness, he leaned down a little and pressed his lips against yours. you were caught a little off guard, but still you kissed him back. his hands roamed down to your waist where he pressed you against the wall. you gasped a little as he did so, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth. your hands moved to the nape of his neck, pulling his body closer to yours.

you had to pull away after a while to catch your breath, your chest rising and falling pretty heavy when you did. "do you think she was looking?" something felt wrong, him asking about his ex-girlfriend after he'd just made out with you. but that's exactly what you were doing it for. so he could get his ex-girlfriend to notice them and realise what a mistake she'd made.

your hands dropped to your sides, tilting your head to the side a little to try and get a glimpse of his ex. which you did, she was staring daggers at you. you couldn't help but laugh a little at the look on her face. your eyes moved back to oscars face, snickering.

"what?" he smiled, mimicking the expression on your face.

"you know the expression, if looks could kill?" he wore a smug smile and nodded. "well, i'd be dead."

you both laughed together, his face nestling into your neck for a second. you continued to laugh, ignoring the feeling in your stomach. you were beginning to think that maybe you should've listened to your best friend.

"that's good though, right?" you spoke up after you'd both calmed down a bit. "that's what we're after. pure jealousy and hatred— oh my god, what if she tried to scrap with me over you? do you think she would do that?" your eyes widened when you thought about it. you weren't much of a fighter. you left that up to oscar.

he chuckled at the expression on your face. "nah, i won't let her touch you," it was nice to know he was still protective of you as his friend.

"good, i'll hold you to that," you mumbled, smiling a little now.

"come on," he grabbed your hand and began to pull you back to the rest of the party. you stopped him before he got too far, his eyebrows furrowed when he looked back at you.

something had been playing on your mind since your conversation with your friend before. "hey, you'd have sex with me right?"

he let out a laugh, raising his eyebrows. that didn't reassure you much, you frowned and punched his shoulder. "what kind of question is that?"

"don't laugh about the thought of having sex with me! that's so mean," you gawked at him. "i just meant, if you weren't my friend and you didn't know me, would you think i'm pretty enough to have sex with?"

he couldn't help chuckling, you'd caught him off guard with the question. it didn't reflect how he really felt about it. "yeah— absolutely. you're hot, y/n. you don't need me to tell you that."

you hummed, shrugging your shoulders. "ok," you carried on walking. "that makes me feel better."

"why?"

"no reason," you glanced at him with a smile. "just wanted to hear you say it," you teased, joking as he shook his head.

"loca," he rolled his eyes.

"shut up."

485 notes · View notes

sanstropfremir · 3 years

Note

would love to hear ur thoughts re. these street woman fighter's performances and who you would personally vote as the "better dance crew" in how they interpreted each other choreos and the song.

this was for their first elimination round (ep4) and it was interesting to hear from the judges + why they gave the points they did. (i'm not entirely sure if you're watching the show's episodes. they are roughly 2 hours long. so if you would like more context, pls let me know! i wrote brief comments underneath each one as well as the winners [spoilers ahead!]. assuming you are not: for this mission, each crew is paired with another crew and they have to choreograph one of the soloist songs. songs were "split" into two parts: part one [would be one song] and part two [another song]; one crew would choreograph one part and follow the other's crew choreograph for the other part.)

1. boa - eat you up (want choreo) + better (ygx choreo). dance crews: ygx vs want

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCfK_qWAhM0&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: ygx. boa gave 151 pts to ygx and 49 pts to want (the biggest gap in points between crews), sharing that although want choreographed eat you up, ygx was more cohesive (pointing to how want wore hats and it was messy). additionally, ygx had better stage presence and was able to capture the camera more. also, because ygx is the only crew to have a b-girl and use it in their routine, the judges applauded want for doing the best they can.

2. cl - doctor pepper (wayb) + hello bitches (prowdmon). dance crews: prowdmon vs wayb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEEpZ9SrvaE&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: prowdmon. judges shared that doctor pepper's routine is a trademark of wayb and that they should have been the standout. however, they felt like prowdmon did it better.

3. hyuna - crazy (4minute) (coca n butter) + i'm not cool (hook) + lip and hip (hook). dance crews: hook vs coca n butter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ikpPKEA30&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: hook. the two dance crews are VERY different in terms of style. coca n butter is described to be more hip-hop while hook is definitely more reflective of the current/newer trends. (when hook was first introduced in the show, they were known as the crew who was famous only for tiktok dances.) the judges shared that hook was more fun and interesting, given their stylistic choice of wearing the pink wigs. whereas it seemed for coca n butter, they felt like something was lacking (they showed something but it didn't feel they did.)

4. jessi - what type of xx (lachica) + nununa (holybang) + gucci (holybang). dance crews: holybang vs lachica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtZzI11oyqc&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: lachica. (this was the only battle where both crews came in v close pts. whereas for the other crews, there were huge point-gaps.) judges had a hard time choosing, sharing that for lachica they were more detail-oriented while holybang had better teamwork.

imo, i agree with the judges' choices. though i would have to say i think wayb did their routine (doctor pepper) better than prowdmon. they stood out to me then, but when it came to the second part (hello bitches), prowdmon was better. i loved lachica's performance - it was v clean + reminded me of something a kpop group would do (which like, the crew largely works with kpop acts like chungha, boa's better, etc. so it makes sense).

this was LONG. thank u if u do read it and post! i miss the kingdom "era" when u would post weekly reviews. the two are v different but this new mnet competition show is the only one i'm invested in. i'm not sure if it's big internationally? i know it is v popular in korea right now. while i've only seen i-fans talk about the show as it relates to chaeyeon (want) because she's an idol. - swf (streetwomanfighter) anon :]

omg this is so long and well organized, forget me writing reviews anon you should do it!! i'm not currently watching the full episodes but i've been catching the few clips that pop up in my youtube recommended occasionally, so i definitely don't have all the context but i'll take a crack at it!

ok so my assumption/from what i can tell, they have a bit of leeway to alter the competing group's choreo as needed to better suit numbers and formations. i also went and found the individual versions of these because why did they make them so small on the split screen, don't they know i'm old and wear glasses. also: MNET FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP MOVING THE FUCKING CAMERA. WE DO NOT NEED SCROLLING VERTICAL BOOM SHOTS OF THIS. just keep the same lens at eye level it's really not that hard. this is like, one of the worst possible ways to shoot dance it is SO annoying. ok i'm done bitching about that let's go.

1. boa - ygx vs want i agree with the big point gap on this one, and i think want made a couple of choices that were not cohesive enough, and obviously they also got set up to fail by ygx. actually i think both groups made choices that were not particularly good, but ygx had more of the skills to back up what they were doing than want did. breaking is very difficult and requires a lot of upper body strength and a higher centre of gravity, which are two physical traits that are less common in women. personally i wouldn't have tried to break to better because although boa songs do have more of a beat than other idol music, it's still not at all the right type of music for breaking. it's gotta be fast, breakers rely on speed, because it's all about momentum; they're literally throwing themselves around the stage. here's the final from battle pro 2019 for example. the music is basically beats only; heavily lyric based music, like idol music, is bad for battling in general because there isn't a lot of consistency. i have more to say about this but i'm getting off track. basically by choosing to handicap the other team (because they don't have a bgirl at all) they shot their own bgirl in the foot because the song is too slow to properly show off her skills. i applaud want for making bold choices, like the hatwork and attempting the breaking, but ultimately when combined with their styling the performance looks disjointed. also they have some formation cohesion issues that make it look a bit like they'e struggling to keep up, even with their own choreo.

2. cl - prowdmon vs wayb i agree with the judges, i think prowdmon bodied the wayb choreo. i actually thought that was their choreo at first. they have the best presence that i've seen of all the groups and the performative "hard bitch" attitude fit in with their genre setting. wayb had several mistakes and synchronization issues that in my opinion made them look sloppy in comparision to prowdmon, who were sharper and had two more people to put into formations. 3. hyuna - hook vs coca n butter ok personally i don't like either of these choreos, but i'm agreeing with the judges here, i think hook's was the mildly more engaging. i can tell that they're very young and do mostly short form tiktok content because i see a lot of eye catching moves, but i don't see a lot of strong connective tissue between those moves. they have good ideas but they also really struggle with putting people into formation and balancing it out well. it doesn't help that they're a seven member crew going up against a four member one, so they have three extra people to figure out what to do with. there's a lot of empty space where there are members waiting in position for a group formation. it also doesn't help at all that they (mnet) appear to just be rawdogging the songs together without any kind of mixing, which is a huge detriment to groups that have to choreograph for two in their section. i'm not cool and lip and hip have two totally different feels and kudos to hook for at least trying to get them to at least visually be cohesive when mnet is go girl giving us nothing sonically. coca n butter has much more of an old school hip hop style, so putting these two up against each other was (probably a random lot draw) an interesting choice. personally i would have been more interested to see hook against want with the boa tracks and ygx against coca n butter with the hyuna tracks. however, i think the reason why coca n butter's stage felt like it was lacking is because they tried to emulate hyuna, without having the stage presence or the weirdness of hyuna. it feels like they're trying too hard and there isn't really any personal character in the piece, versus with hook, who embodied hyuna's weirdness a little more authentically and took a completely different direction. 4. jessi - lachica vs holybang lachica took this one easily, although their formations were a bit wonky for nununana, they covered it fairly well and i think they managed the best transition between songs (between nununana and gucci). they were sharper with good stage pictures and had a good gimmick with the double fringe on the gloves and hats. holy bang had some issues fitting their extra person into the what type of x choreo, but they did well with their own choreo. however, like with coca n butter and hook, because lachica took a new visual spin, this felt too derivative of jessi, so it wasn't that interesting for me to watch. i do think they are one of the groups on the stronger end of skills and presence. --- as far as visually what performances i liked the best, since would this even be a writeup by me if i didn't talk about design, here's a quick breakdown:

prowdmon - got some rudimentary setpieces, got a theme, got some fun variations on a uniform look; excellent for what i assume was limited budget capacity and also it's a dance crew show.

lachica - great continuity of effect in costuming with the fringe, and using the gloves as a mouth/lip effect was one of the most interesting choices of these routines.

hook - the pink wigs and the black latex on the checkered floor was a nice gimmick that was a bit of a nod to hyuna's weird without being too derivative. i'm not expecting a whole lot because these are dance crews but i think this was a decent amount of styling effort.

want - they made a bold choice with the hats and even though it didn't quite pay off for them i still respect it.

coca n butter/ygx/holybang/wayb - ygx and wayb did basic hip hop type styling and while it's absolutely fine, it's just boring. holybang went for a directly inspired jessi look, and although yes bodysuits, overall it wasn't that interesting either. coca n butter get props for doing a costume change and actually incorporating that into the choreo but it feels too much like it's trying to be hyuna weird with the caution tape strapped over their tits and asses.

---

as a final note/question to you, my lovely invested swf anon, what's the format of the show? are there stages like this every episode to review? if these were from the fourth one only, is there anything worth me reviewing in the first three? i'm not particularly interested in the aggressive competitive nature of the show and editing so i don't particularly want to watch the full two hour episodes, but if you think it's worthwhile for me to review stuff then i will. otherwise if there's a set structure (like with kingdom) i can seek out the stages specifically and review them if i know what i'm looking for.

#street woman fighter #swf #swf reviews #i dont really know what the international reception is. the very few people ive seen talking about it on twt #have been insane kpoppies disrespecting boa. so not the best ifan showing so far #am i back in my review era already???? we shall see #(while i still have like EIGHT different asks left. if you wonder why im taking so long to get to some of them. that is why)#(OH plus the first half of the stylings post. and the fabled fave choreos post. so many things in my drafts rn)#(but also please dont stop sending me questions it makes me very happy. the gerbil in my brain is just slow)#dear anon who just asked me about red lights and kink. mwah you are welcome to slide into my dms anytime you like #wait by putting kink in the tags did i just invite a bunch of pornbots onto this #whatever lmao #might need to start a new organizational tag for this because it's only kpop adjacent. thoughts for later #text #answers #ngl these group names are gonna drive me insane. why are all dance crew names so fucking weird

10 notes · View notes

loverscrossmp3 · 3 years

Note

hello hello hello am sliding/skidding/hurtling into ur inbox with embarrassing speed to ask: 1, 8, 9 for the fic writers asks pls bestie <3

hi darling you! how's it feel knowing a simple ask from u can flip my day around?

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

i think most definitely modern/muggle au's! not sure how it even got to that point considering when i first began reading fics i wouldn't even glance so much as touch modern au's but i guess you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. i don't really think my other stories besides this side of the universe really reflect how i actually want my stories to be/how i want to write but! the gist i’m getting at is modern au's with a touch of james being a simp and lily being a bit of a nightmare. (self-insert who?)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

dialogue is truly not my forte. at all. like i'm dreadfully awful at it. but! this bit from this side of the universe? maybe?

The sky is purple but not the sweet, lilac color of flowers and pastel; rather a deep, royal plum flickering with specks of white that if looked upon closer could be identified as luminous stars. They’re sitting on a swing-set, the metal creaking with each sway. He’s had a little too much to drink and he’s waxing poetic about the moon and stars and she’s thinking that if he simply asked, the gods would grant him a divine cosmo. Her head is tilted upwards and she doesn’t feel his gaze but it’s there and then he drunkenly declares that he thinks she’s made of stardust. Her heart stops a moment then she remembers he’s drunk. Leaning on the chain looking at her, he grins when she laughs. She asks what he means by that. He doesn’t say anything more.

(‘how can you say you aren’t stardust when the same god that made the moon, the stars, and planets; the same god that created the infinite galaxies and cosmos littered across the night sky, made you?’)

(He doesn’t say that, but if he could find the words he would have.)

i'm not sure it really counts as a dialogue scene considering literally none of that is said. but! it's the only bit i could think of that doesn't make me want to die from embarrassment reading back. i first wrote that bit james didn't say months before i completed this and i think it's still my favorite thing i've ever written. like. i jotted it down in my notes app one night and just stared at it for a solid five minutes cause like?? my mind did that??? my? mind came up with that?? idk, then once i began tsotu (oh that's not pretty at all) i basically compiled all the little snippets i've ever written and found ways to include them. this is one of them. also i just think space is the coolest thing ever and am always trying to find new ways to wax poetic about it. maybe i'm just a romantic. who knows!

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

not counting the many wips im attempting to push through? i feel like despite how easy some scenes in this side of the universe (bare & brief) came to me, it was still the hardest. idk i think probably because the story is more of glimpses into lily and james' lives rather than a fully outlined, plot driven story, it was definitely difficult at times to come up with a new, creative idea. especially in the section where they're eighteen — i definitely had a bit of trouble trying to figure out a scene that was interesting for the reader, as well as, like, portraying the development between lily and james.

ask me questions!

#man this came out way longer than i thought it'd be #it appears when you're sick with no one to talk to you take it out on tumblr asks #sorry ridi!#but also thank you for the ask love you the most <3 #writer asks #aeridi0nis #this side of the universe (bare & brief)#ridi tag

4 notes · View notes

straighttohellbuddy · 3 years

Note

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand.

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes.

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart.

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018.

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals.

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse.

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

#Anonymous #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #black cat anon

32 notes · View notes

brw · 3 years

Text

rating random outfits from the vision because i am very bored

outfit one - classic look

[image id: two cropped panels of the vision from marvel comics. they are both wearing the same outfit, of a green bodysuit that covers every part of their body aside from the front of their face. with it, they wear yellow gloves, yellow boots and a knee-length cape which has a large flared collar. their torso is covered by yellow fabric which wraps around them like a corset. it ends at the top of their thighs. in the first image, they are faced to the left, with one leg raised and their cape floating around their shoulders. in the second image, they have she-hulk, thor & monica rambeau as captain marvel grouped behind them. they are facing forwards and gesturing towards the viewer with their hand. end id/]

- cape goes woosh

- literally the only thing showing is their face everything else is covered

- the collar is very dramatic and gay which i appreciate

- kinda wearing a corset thing? which is cool

- idk what's up with the diamond thing between their tits :/

- colour combo is atrocious but that's a staple of their style it seems lmao

- very out there, very dramatic

- you could probably wear something similar to a pride parade tbh just change the colours and you're good to go

- i like the gloves they look like the yellow ones you use to wash dishes in the sink with the scrubber thingy

final score - 7/10 bonus points for nostalgia & cape, its a very nice very classic look but also very modest :/ show some skin pls ur wife is basically wearing a swimsuit with gloves show a little solidarity :/

outfit two - boob window

[image id: a cropped comic cover of the vision from marvel comics. they are reaching upwards with one arm extended in an attempt to escape several grey hands reaching up to their hip trying to drag them down. their costume is one piece broken into three sections. the bottom half is green and goes slightly above their hips creating a large v-shape. the middle half is yellow and v-shaped as well. the top part reaches to their shoulders and the bottom part is to the middle of their chest, and extends all the way to their fingers. the base of the v is also the bottom of a diamond cut out revealing some of their skin in the pectoral area. the top of the diamond leads to the third and final part of the costume which is the same shade of green as the bottom. This part is a large collar, a head covering that wraps around all around their head but leaves the face uncovered, as well as a cape that is shredded at the bottom. end id/]

- very similar outfit with inverted colours and instead of adding a diamond they cut one out :)

- another wooshy cape :)

- still has their face covered all around except for the front tho :( like idk wouldn't that annoy you? what if it gets too tight or you get hot?

- i have no idea how their cape works with the diamond cleavage window thingy like?? did they just use superglue? please explain

- gloves are gone 😔

- and no more boots 😔😔😔

- corset gone why did they remove all the sexy parts the tiddy does not compensate 😔😔😔😔😔

final score - 3/10 it's basically just an inverted version of the last one except they took the Cool Sexy Bits away which makes everything boring :/ bonus points for the boob window thing though, shows the beginning of their Bimboification :)

outfit three - detective

[image id: a cropped comic cover of the vision from marvel comics. they are standing with one leg resting on something that is not in view. they are partially shadowed, and wear an intense, thoughtful expression. there is a cigarette hanging out of the side of their mouth. they look similar to a 1940s film noir character. they are wearing a white shirt that appears to be a button up, though the thickness of their tie that reaches down to their trousers obstructs any buttons. their sleeves are rolled up to around their elbows. their tie is somewhat loosened around their neck, and is white with black stripes in varying thickness. they wear a pair of thick white suspenders that connect to their trousers, which seem to be grey or a dull brown. they have one of their hands in their trouser pocket. under the same arm is a gun, though this is hard to make out in the darkness. they are also wearing a broad-rimmed fedora, which casts half their face in shadow with only their pupilless bright yellow eyes showing through. end id/]

- this ABSOLUTELY fucks

- unirionically sexy

- noir detective look very nice very cash money

- the loosened tie really just puts the whole thing together

- their face is free! no more awkward green pieces of plastic or whatever!

- calls pretty people "dames" for sure

- rolled up sleeves make me feel like a repressed victorian girl who's just begun to experiment with the Devil's Doorbell™

- smoking is bad for ur health but jesus if it isn't a vibe

- hat worn by reddit "nice guys" :/

final score - 9/10 this really is one hell of a look, very 1920s it absolutely slaps the suspenders are everything tbh if they were in a movie they'd probably be played by harrison ford idk why. anyway this ABSOLUTELY fucks and is one of my faves and is criminally underrated 🤗

outfit four - suit

[image id: two cropped panels of the vision from marvel comics. in both panels, they are wearing the same simple two-piece black suit, with a white shirt underneath their jacket. there are no buttons or pockets on their jacket, and everything seems to be perfectly ironed. their tie is long and thin, and is tight around their neck. their shoes are nondescript and black. in the first panel, vision is to the side, and is floating in the air. in the second panel, vision is standing and is facing the viewer, with their face slightly shadowed and their fists clenched at their sides. end id/]

- simple, cute, chic

- the thinness of the tie is a big change from the last one

- classic suit style, the most casual of formal wear

- office worker kind of thing but like. a FANCY office

- nondescript; no personality in it whatsoever :/

- makes them look like a conservative 😔

final score - 4/10 it's kinda boring tbh they look cute but :/ lame. shows them trying too hard to conform to humanity's standards and it is Not A Vibe. there's no Sauce & also appears in something written by t*m k*ng so the association is immediately off

outfit five - ultimates aka No Clothes Titty Out

[image id: a comic cover of the vision from marvel comics. this one is from the ultimates/1610-verse. this vision is more female-presenting then their 616 counterpart. they are not wearing any clothes. their body is golden and reflective and metallic. their body is comprised of different plates of metal, which are symmetric. just before their elbow, there is a gap in each arm between the metal plates so you can see the wires running through their arms underneath. there is a red diamond shape, still made of metal, in the area where a belly button would be on a human being. they have breasts that do not have any nipples, but have a large circle plating where the nipple would normally be. much like their 616 version they are bald with a yellow diamond in their forehead. their expression is difficult to read but they appear to be smiling slightly. their arms are raised around their head, not touching their skull but close to it. they are strutting towards the viewer with one hip jutted to the side. metal wires surround them, with none of them fully touching them aside from a thick one seemingly connected to the back of their neck. end id/]

- pussy out

- no clothes this bitch doesn't need them (but they do need titties for some reason??? bro????)

- red diamond thing to cover up the bellybutton? girl what are you hiding

- Gold And Shiny a nice change from our regularly scheduled red skin

- emulating aunt/sister/mother/whatever the fuck jocasta which is nice, it's about time vision got someone other then Fashion Disaster Wonder Man to help them out. i guess nudity is better then combining green and yellow all together with red skin jjshsheheh

- sexualised :/

- genuinely kinda hot tho i think i have succumbed to the Robot Tiddies 😔

- no idea how the physics of their hip/ass jutting out is supposed to work it looks like they dislocated something

final score - 6/10 it's cool but also why did u sexualised the android like i. also they are a robot and not a synthezoid which :( why. but u know i appreciate the pussy out kinda thing and ultimates verse vision dated sam wilson so they have good taste. points knocked off for being from the ultimates verse which is Bad™ imo

outfit six - This Fucking Thing What Is This I Hate It So Much

[image id: a cropped panel of the vision from marvel comics. they are facing the viewer with an angry expression. their fists are tightly clenched and are raised slightly. around their wrists are thick yellow spiked bracelets. their arms are uncovered. their shoulders are covered by yellow spiked shoulderpads. they are wearing a green bodysuit with a bright yellow collar around their neck and a plunged neckline that goes all the way down their chest and torso until it is obstructed by yellow underwear, which is held up by a very thick yellow ring, which is also covered in spikes. their green bodysuit continues all the way down their legs until their boots, which are go up half-way around their calves and are folded over. they have a yellow diamond stuck in the middle of their chest. they are also wearing a green helmet that is green and corinthian (greek) in style. it is also spiked. the spikes at either side of the faceplate are small and yellow. the one at the top of the helmet is the same shade of green as the helmet itself. end id/]

- why

- it's. it's so ugly

- what's with the fucking spikes

- the boots are horrendous

- helmet looks they bought it at a museum for £15 and its made out of cheap shitty poorly made and badly painted plastic

- why did they glue a yellow diamond to their chest what is the fucking point

- porcupine energy

- the shoulder pads why the fucking shoulder pads disco isn't coming back just accept it

- spike belt underwear????? why??????????? looks like they made one of those chokers huge and called it a day

- it's just. it's just so ugly. why would you think this was a good idea who is responsible

final score - 0/10 i do not want to see it

#brieuc.txt #the vision #clothing rating #comics #if i did the image id wrong please tell me i have never done them before hbsjshsjja #vision #ch: far superior to flesh and blood #long post

44 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Not A Ghost, You're In My Head (Your Move 3/3) (Branjie) - Ortega

a/n: this has had about fifty billion potential titles, but rest assured that finally this is Your Move 3, only a year and a bit late. i really hope u all enjoy the end of the saga, and sorry and thank u to those who have been so patient! i’ll shut up now bc quite frankly uv all waited long enough for this. (title’s from Forever by Charli XCX pls listen to it it’s such a Branjie song)

fic summary: “Everything was perfect. Until it wasn’t.”

***

The smell of coffee and the warmth of the cafe inside hits Brooke like a ton of bricks as she walks in, blinks a little, and scans the room to find a seat. Eventually her eyes settle on a small booth through the back, away from the clatter and hiss of the coffee machines and probably the closest thing to quiet that they’ll get in a public setting like this. Sliding into it, Brooke shrugs her jacket off, lifts up a menu, puts it down again, drums her nails against the tabletop and takes her phone out. She checks the time, then checks her reflection in her phone’s camera. Briefly she finds it crossing her mind that she’s probably put more effort into her outfit, hair and makeup today than she had for their first date. What had she worn for their first date again? She can’t remember. She supposes it doesn’t matter now.

Putting her phone down, Brooke digs her toes into the soles of her shoes and takes one deep breath that she intends to be calming. Instead it leaves her feeling as if she is trapped under a sheet of ice with a millimetre of air to work with before she sinks underwater. Part of her feels as if she is already sinking. The other part of her feels as if she sank a month-and-a-bit ago and here she is, sitting waiting in a cafe, a living shipwreck. Sometimes her ribs feel like huge, cracked planks of wood, an empty vessel where something once lived. Sometimes it feels as if her heart is a sail, a huge mast broken in two with two long, ragged dagger marks scarring the sheet and rendering it useless. Other times she feels like a huge, heavy propellor is cutting into her stomach and churning it up, though that’s mainly when she makes the mistake of scanning social media (and isn’t madness doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?)

Today, Brooke just feels hollow.

Suddenly her phone buzzes harshly against the table and Brooke’s heart involuntarily leaps as she picks it up, an aftershock of the past seven months that will eventually dissipate with time. At least, she hopes so.

V: i can’t do this today

V: i’m sorry

Brooke feels as if an elastic band inside her has suddenly snapped. She doesn’t know if she feels relieved or if she wants to cry. Feeling a blush prickle against her cheeks and a lump form in her throat, her body seems to make the decision for her.

B: It’s okay don’t worry. Another time x

What does she expect? Brooke isn’t supposed to be the heartbroken one, Brooke isn’t meant to be the one that is sitting crying at a coffee shop table as if she’s the one that’s been broken up with. She wipes below her eyes and dabs lightly at her lashes with her fingers before pulling her jacket back on and walking quickly back through the door of the cafe she’d stepped through not even five minutes ago.

They’ll try again when she’s ready.

***

Brooke sinks on top of her bed, letting out a huge, deep breath of air until her stomach feels as if it is concave. It had been Vanessa that was the cautious one, it had always been Brooke making the big decisions about their relationship- a fact that, she cruelly reminds herself, remained true til its very end. She blinks very slowly. Her eyelids are so fucking heavy and tired. She took the morning off work to accommodate her plans and now she has nothing to do. Sitting and staring at the ceiling until her eyes burn is a nice impromptu plan.

Her phone suddenly hums in the silence of the room. As if she’s been shocked by jump leads, Brooke spins over on her bed and grabs her phone from her bedside table, her heart hammering at an unhealthy rate. She feels the disappointment sink through her whole body when she sees the name on the screen.

“Hey.”

“Hey, boo. Calling to see how you were, but your tone kind of says it all for me.”

Brooke rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well. Vanessa never showed.”

“I know. She phoned me.”

The cardiac arrest is back, alive and unwell in Brooke’s ribcage. “What did she say?”

“That she felt like an ass. I asked her what donkeys had to do with anything.”

Brooke shakes her head and laughs in spite of herself. “You’re the fucking worst.”

“I know. How are you doing?”

Brooke frowns deeply. “What, that’s all you said? That’s all you’re going to tell me?”

A sigh comes from the end of the line. “Brooke, maybe you have to let her go.”

“No, come on, Yves, that’s not fair. Don’t talk to me like I’m obsessed and still clinging on because that’s not…it’s more complicated than that.”

“I mean. It was you that ended things.”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me,” Brooke sighs, her heart feeling sick and empty.

“Look, just give her some time. You can’t just expect everything to go back to the way things were. Because…” her friend pauses on the end of the line, as if she’s about to deliver something Brooke won’t want to hear. “…well. Things might not.”

“I thought you were phoning to cheer me up,” Brooke says, deadpan. Yvie has the audacity to laugh.

“No, sorry, sorry. I just…you know. Best friends tell you shit you don’t want to hear sometimes. That’s part of the contract I signed back in high school,” Yvie’s affectionate warm laugh comes down the phone and Brooke finds herself smiling. It’s impossible to stay mad at Yvie; she may look fierce on the outside but Brooke knows she’s secretly a Care Bear brought to life via magic spell. Brooke is sincerely happy they’ve been friends for so long. They’ve helped each other and been there for each other through a lot, of course, through situations that are arguably worse than this, but Brooke is glad she has Yvie during this absolutely shit time. Vanessa had loved Yvie too when she’d met all of Brooke’s friends. Sure, she’d got along with Plastique and Nina and had eventually warmed to Bianca (although that had been a struggle after some of Bianca’s snide comments), but Yvie had welcomed her into Brooke’s life with open arms and had treated her as if they had been friends all their lives too. Brooke knows Yvie still speaks to Vanessa just to check in on her. She doesn’t mind.

“Do you wanna go for drinks tonight? Or food, if you feel like drinks will descend into stuff you’ll regret,” Yvie continues down the phone. Brooke exhales slowly.

“…Honestly Yves, it’s fine.”

“I’ll come to the apartment then. I just don’t want you wallowing. Wallowing’s for hippos. You’re not a hippo. You’re a…graceful crane.”

“You’re drunk already.”

“Maybe I am, and what the fuck of it? Right, I’m coming over tonight with lasagne in a tinfoil tray. Preheat your oven now. I’ll be round at 7. Love you, bye.”

“Bye. Love you too,” Brooke raises her eyebrows as she hangs up the phone. She remembers when she used to sign off like that all the time.

***

Brooke remembers those days of being in love with Vanessa, when the sex was passionate and gentle and full of fire and tenderness all at once. She remembers how it felt to look at her for as long as she wanted, taking in each glossy thread of hair, each small speckle of colour in her eyes, each individual and perfectly curled eyelash. Vanessa would always laugh at Brooke when she did that, telling her she was a creep, to stop staring at her. Now Brooke wishes she’d looked just a second longer, because she’s clearly not committed it all to memory.

She decides to go into the office. What else can she do? Yvie is annoying, but she’s right, Brooke can’t just sit and wallow. Or she could, but there’s case files that need updating and Brooke can either be sad at home lying in bed or sad at work doing something productive. Sad is the wrong emotion, she supposes. Empty is maybe more accurate. She is past the point of sad. Sad had happened when they’d had that argument and Brooke had played her trump card, best card in the pack at the time. Now she knows it had been a tarot card in disguise, the fool, and Brooke hadn’t at all known what her future would hold. She still doesn’t.

She walks into her office, past people that used to fear her, respect her. Perhaps they still do, but Brooke can still see the glint of sympathy in their eyes, hear the note of pity their voices hold. Brooke says good morning to Nicky, her new secretary. She hasn’t fired her yet, probably won’t ever fire a secretary again no matter how horrendous they are. Vanessa never came back after that day and Brooke doesn’t blame her, but she hopes she’s found another job. Nicky, she supposes, isn’t horrendous. She’s efficient and calm and obedient. Brooke knows she’s attractive too, and for a moment she allows herself to wonder if there is a parallel universe where she’s sought out a relationship with Nicky instead. Maybe a bit of random fucking with a pretty girl could take her mind off everything. Brooke laughs to herself in her office. She’s clearly losing it.

Detox comes in around half an hour later. Brooke’s done no work, simply staring at an excel spreadsheet and feeling her eyes glaze over but being unable to work up the motivation needed to blink. Detox puts a cup of coffee down on her desk and Brooke lets out a laugh.

“Jesus Christ, D. I’m not dying.”

“Could’ve fooled me. Seen happier faces at a fucking wake,” Detox jibes softly, pushes the cup closer to Brooke. “How are you today?”

Brooke leans back in her chair, swears she catches the scent of Vanessa’s perfume. It is gone almost as quickly as it had appeared and all Brooke is left with is approximately 45,000 memories, none of which she wants. “I’m shit. But I think that might be my new normal, I’ve felt like shit for so long. So I guess shit is the new fine. Therefore I’m fine.”

Detox exhales through her nose, the hint of a humoured smile playing on her lips. “The old you would be beating you up and taking your lunch money if she heard you talking like that.”

“Believe me, I’ve already beaten myself up enough.”

Detox gives a heavy sigh of frustration, shifts from one foot to the other. “You need to sort your shit out, Brooke.”

“What are you, my Mom?” Brooke snaps back, now as frustrated as her friend. She wants to be left alone to stew in her own lack of emotions. Detox doesn’t relent.

“Look, I’m gonna give you two choices. Number one, you accept that everything’s over with Vanessa, that you fucked it, that you’ve made your bed and now you need to lie in it. But from what I can see of how you’re acting just now, you don’t want to do that.”

“No, I’m not fucking doing that,” Brooke sighs, tearing her hands down her face and wishing Detox would leave.

“Second option is, you start a constant campaign of non-stop attempts to win V back. Flowers, texts, cards, we’re talking borderline Joe from You.”

“Of course you watch that trash.”

“But you get the point?” Detox persists, annoying incarnate. “Brooke, you can’t…you can’t go on living like this. It’s been over a month, it feels like I’ve lost this bitch that used to be my friend.”

Brooke supposes she has lost her sense of self. She goes through her days without showing a single emotion, instead preferring to let them all out in the courtroom, raining down upon witnesses relentlessly as if every case has been a personal experience. She’s won her past six in a row and she puts it down to the fact that she now focuses every single fibre of being that she possesses into her career and job and work and anything that doesn’t have to involve emotions whatsoever.

“Look, I’ll..I’ll think about it, alright?” Brooke waves her away, rubs her forehead long-sufferingly. The whole thing is annoying her, becoming less of a heartbreak and more of a headache.

Detox smiles and punches the air. “That’s my girl. Have a think. Right, I’ll leave you alone. See you later.”

Have a think. Brooke wants to laugh. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking since the day Vanessa left.

***

Brooke misses her.

She misses the way Vanessa just got her humour like no-one else did. When she’d have a client waiting for her and Vanessa would send her her first impression or opinion of them in advance, and then Brooke would have to hold in her laughter for the duration of her meeting because holy fuck yes, the woman’s hat did make her look like a bat and combined with her cloak it did make her look like the villain in a superhero movie.

She misses the way that Vanessa had sort-of-not-quite-not-officially moved in with her. Some of her clothes are still strewn around the apartment: a pair of black heels left by the door that she’d worn out to dinner with her, an emerald green lace underwear set that had fallen underneath the bed and Brooke had stuck in her washer-dryer, the cosy pyjamas that lived under one of Brooke’s pillows folded not-quite-neatly and covered in creases, and a white silk shirt that Vanessa had worn to work and Brooke had peeled off her when they’d arrived home, pressing kisses to her bare collarbones, chest and stomach. Vanessa used to crash her way through the apartment and often Brooke wondered if it was her mission to make as much noise as possible as she loaded the dishwasher, hoovered the living room, sang off-key in the shower. Brooke’s apartment has been so deathly quiet since she left, a funeral sort of quiet. Mournful and still and ghostly and cold.

Sometimes Brooke is sure she sees in black and white.

She remembers the day when they told each other they loved each other for the first time. There had been no ceremony, no grand gestures. In fact the pair of them were watching a film on Brooke’s couch- The Little Mermaid 2, Vanessa eager to force her love of Disney sequels onto her girlfriend. Brooke had looked away from the TV just for a moment, just to see Vanessa’s reaction to whatever was happening on screen, and when she lay her eyes on her she felt that familiar feeling of falling hit her like a wave all over again. It had happened quite a few times that fortnight or so, and the urge to tell her grew with every moment they shared together. Brooke watched her smile like a dork at the TV, the light in her eyes shining and the good in her heart visible just by looking at her. Brooke had laced their hands together, Vanessa taken by surprise and meeting her gaze with a funny sort of smile on her face. Her nose had crinkled up as she’d laughed at her.

“What?”

Brooke had pulled her close and kissed her without saying a word, trying to tell Vanessa without actually telling her anything. She was scared to say it first. She was scared to say it at all.

When Vanessa broke away, she gave Brooke a look that seemed to reach into her soul. Then she looked down at the blanket they’d thrown over them and gave a shy laugh.

“I wanna say something but I’m scared.”

Brooke still remembers the way her heart had beaten right out of her chest. If she tries she can still feel it.

“Say it. Say it, because I want to say it too.”

Vanessa had made eye contact again, her face nervous and hesitant, and Brooke wanted to kiss her fears away but that would have stopped her from saying what she wanted so desperately to hear.

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you.”

Almost as quickly as they’d said it they were pulling each other in, their lips meeting desperately as they melted into each other. And Brooke hadn’t taken her to bed and they hadn’t had passionate, lovestruck sex on the couch. They had sat and kissed on the sofa with the film playing in the background like teenagers, the feeling of being in love communicated without even having to say anything else.

Brooke had finally understood why people in musicals randomly burst into song.

She wishes she had known the last time she’d said it to her would be the final time. She wishes she could say it to Vanessa again. It’s still true. She’s still in love with her. She had fallen so hard.

The trouble with falling is that she had to hit the concrete eventually.

***

Another day goes by and a new one begins. Nicky comes in at half past nine with Brooke’s coffee. Vanessa always used to have it sitting out for her when Brooke arrived, a little heart drawn in the foam with caramel syrup making the coffee too sweet, just like her. Brooke can forgive Nicky, though. She suffered through another sleepless night and she needs the coffee more than she needs a lot of things. Doing her makeup this morning had been like painting a corpse, and Brooke tries not to feel embarrassed as she takes in Nicky’s perfectly painted face in contrast to her own. She thanks her, takes the cup and assumes Nicky will leave.

“Ms. Hytes,” Nicky says, surprising her. She stands in front of her desk, her brow furrowed in concern. “You’re hurting.”

Brooke almost drops her coffee cup in surprise. In days of old she would’ve fired a secretary on the spot for having the audacity to address her in such a way, make such an assumption, but Brooke is tired. She can’t be bothered to deny it, it would take more energy than to simply admit it. She deals in facts, and it is a fact after all. “Yes, Nicky, I am.”

Nicky pouts a little sympathetically. There is a pause in which Brooke assumes she’ll leave. She doesn’t. Instead she speaks again. “Who was the girl that broke your heart?”

Brooke can only blink back at her, her eyelids heavy from lack of sleep. She could tell Nicky to go back to her desk, she supposes, to get on with her work. But she’s in a rare mood to talk about things, so Brooke cracks a small, indulgent smile. “And how do you know it was a girl?”

“Men can’t break hearts like women can,” Nicky says softly, philosophically. Brooke isn’t sure she’s right but she supposes she’s never had any experience with men to disprove the theory. She sighs, nodding.

“Yeah, it was a girl. Her name was Vanessa,” Brooke says, the name feeling too clunky and odd in her mouth where once it had felt like a prayer. “I guess she didn’t break my heart. I broke hers and then by proxy I broke my own. It was a stupid mistake, we had a fight and…things were said that I regret but she still won’t talk to me. And fair enough, why the fuck would she?”

Nicky nods slowly, wraps her arms around herself to give herself a hug. “I have the same. Uh, I am escaping a girl who broke my heart. But even though she hurt me, I still love her. How does that work?”

“Because emotions are stupid and they don’t work in a logical way,” Brooke shrugs instantly. She’s had a lot of time to think about the subject. Looking at Nicky, she can see the pain behind her eyes, the hurt behind the calm facade of her perfect makeup. “Who was your girl?”

Nicky smiles sadly, nostalgia getting the better of her. “She was named Jaida. She was a model, like I used to be. I don’t wish to talk about her much. It’s still sore."

"Yeah. It’s still sore for me too.”

“You say you broke Vanessa’s heart?” Nicky asks shyly. The words are like a stab through Brooke’s chest, confirming the whole thing, validating it. Brooke nods wordlessly. Nicky gives a small laugh. “Then probably she still loves you too. Like me for Jaida.”

Brooke laughs, disbelieving even though she’d be lying if she said Nicky’s words don’t strike even the tiniest bit of hope into her heart. “No, I think that ship has sailed, Nicky.”

Nicky raises her eyebrows, shrugs. “You should call her.”

“Tried that.”

“Well, call her again,” Nicky persists, her voice calm and relaxed despite her insisting. “I wait for my call from Jaida every day."

Brooke feels sad for the young girl. She’s clearly lived so much of her life already at such a young age- she’s from France, but her CV stated that she moved to America to work in the modelling industry, which clearly didn’t work out if she’s making coffee for Brooke. "You should go back into modelling. You’re wasted here.”

Nicky frowns. “I am a waste…of space?”

Brooke laughs at the misunderstanding, waving her hands and shaking her head in protest. It’s the first genuine laugh she’s had in a long time. “No, no, no, no, God no! Wrong expression. Um…you’re too good at modelling to be working as a secretary. You have too nice a face.”

Nicky blushes, making Brooke’s face hot too. She hopes her compliment didn’t come out wrong. Nicky is smiling again, the regret plain on her face. “I would love to, but I would risk meeting her again and I am not ready for that.”

Brooke’s face contorted. “But you want her to call you?”

Nicky sighs, scuffs her foot. “It’s different when you have her in front of you and she’s beautiful."

Brooke shrugs in agreement. "That’s fair enough.”

Nicky lingers, tilts her head thoughtfully. “Can I do anything to help, Ms. Hytes?”

The Parisian lilt to Nicky’s voice makes everything sound like a proposition, even though Brooke doesn’t think she means it. She knows that she could probably have Nicky in her bed by the end of the day if she wanted to- they’re both hurting and broken hearted and yearning to be needed and wanted again, and Nicky is gorgeous but it’s not Nicky she wants. Her porcelain skin just reminds Brooke of Vanessa’s in contrast, her neat blonde hair brushed carefully into its bun reminds her of how wild and loose Vanessa’s used to be, her blue eyes remind her of Vanessa’s dark ones. Brooke shakes her head, gives a tight smile of gratitude. “No, Nicky. Thank you for this, but I think we’d both better get back to work.”

Nicky smiles in agreement, giving a little nod as she exits Brooke’s office and takes a seat back at her desk. Brooke looks at her phone in its place on her desk, reaches out to take it. She scrolls to Vanessa’s name in her contacts and hovers her finger over it, millimetres separating her from potentially hearing her voice again.

She discards her phone onto her desk and opens an email.

***

They had been the best months of Brooke’s life. She couldn’t stop telling Vanessa how much she loved her once she’d started and Vanessa couldn’t seem to either. They were the worst kind of honeymoon phase couple, or perhaps the best. Detox had cooed over them like a mother hen and Brooke had let her guard down a bit at work. Well, a lot. She’d loved being able to show Vanessa off as her girlfriend, she’d loved being able to kiss her throughout the day, squeeze her hand as she showed a new client into her office. They would exchange ridiculously soppy emails during meetings. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

Brooke has spent so long blaming the business trip, blaming Priyanka, blaming Vanessa, blaming her work, blaming the distance. It was none of them. It was her fault. She did all of it.

Brooke had flown out to Florida for the weekend. There was a conference that her law firm had to attend there, Detox was speaking. Brooke had been looking forward to it as she knew one of her old friends from her Law degree would be there. She hadn’t seen Priyanka in ages; she was still based in Canada and practising there, but they still texted and when they’d found out they were both going Brooke had been excited. Priyanka is one of those rare exes that’s still a friend, their breakup back in their early twenties being a mutual decision, and Brooke knows there’s no attraction there anymore.

But of course, Vanessa didn’t.

Brooke should’ve done more to reassure her, she knows this. If she looks back she can see how agitated Vanessa had been during the leadup to the conference for a full week- biting her perfectly manicured nails, a small frown on her face without her knowing, moments where she’d stare off into space. Vanessa knew about Priyanka (they’d both talked about their exes) but Brooke had told her it had been amicable and mutual. Besides, she told Vanessa how much she loved her every single day. It wasn’t as if Brooke had hidden the fact that Priyanka was going to be there that weekend, or shielded her phone when they’d been texting each other. She’d had nothing to hide.

Brooke almost wishes she had been more secretive now. Maybe it would’ve changed things.

The conference had been fun, even though Brooke now holds it in the same regard as the beginning of a horror movie, the calm before the cyclone. She’d phoned Vanessa when she had arrived, eager to reassure her but she could still hear the worry in her tone, the anxiety. Still, it hadn’t stopped her meeting up for drinks with Priyanka that evening in the hotel bar, laughing and chatting like they’d always used to and doing silly Boomerangs with the cocktails they’d ordered. Brooke told her all about Vanessa and Priyanka was thrilled for her, saying how excited she was to one day meet her. Brooke had got her phone out to show her some photos when Priyanka had looked at her own and gave a little exclamation of surprise.

“Oh! Is her nickname Vanjie?”

Brooke had narrowed her eyes, watching as Priyanka scrolled. “Yeah, why?”

“She’s watched my Insta story already. Doesn’t follow me though. Probably just doesn’t want to be weird,” Priyanka had shrugged. Brooke had shrugged back, offhandedly agreeing but internally embarrassed. She’d known why Vanessa had watched her story- she’d been checking up on her. Brooke hadn’t liked that.

When she’d arrived home, everything gradually came crumbling down, the pair of them slowly removing the Jenga blocks of their relationship one at a time. Their hug had been off when they’d seen each other again, their conversation had been the small talk of strangers. And then it had happened. Vanessa had brought up Priyanka, Brooke had brought up the Instagram stalking. Vanessa had brought up how weird she found it that she still wanted to hang out with an ex, Brooke had defended herself and told her they were only friends. Vanessa had expressed how worried she’d been, Brooke had been hurt.

“When have I ever given you reason to be worried?”

“Well shit, when you met up with your ex for drinks?”

Brooke had hit out, called Vanessa out on her jealousy.

“Well maybe I do get jealous! But it’s only ‘cuz I don’t ever want to lose you, fuck, I just don’t want to think about you with anybody else, that’s all!”

“But you don’t have to! Priyanka is my friend, that’s it, that’s all there is to it!” Brooke remembers how irritated she’d been, how exasperated. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you! Of course I trust you. I just don’t trust her,” Vanessa had sighed frustratedly, pulled another block out.

“Well I’m not going to just not see one of my friends for the rest of our relationship, V!”

“So you’re choosing her over me? That it?” Vanessa had questioned. Brooke still remembers the tears in her eyes. She’d known Vanessa hadn’t meant to say that, she knew Vanessa knew she was being unreasonable. But Brooke had reacted instantly, thinking in absolutes, or perhaps not thinking entirely.

“Fuck, Vanessa, well if it’s that black and fucking white to you then what the hell are we doing anyway?” she’d yelled, the finality still hurting her if she thinks about it. The raised tensions in the room had come to a boiling point. Vanessa had gone quiet.

“What are you saying?”

Brooke had committed and she was still angry, still frustrated. She’d doubled down. “Why the hell are we doing this if there’s no trust in our relationship?”

The realisation had dawned slowly and sickly like tar over Vanessa’s face. “You’re saying you want to break up?”

Brooke hadn’t replied, only stared at the floor. Vanessa had taken it as an answer.

She’d left.

Brooke had regretted it, but she’d known they would make amends. It had just been a silly argument, and things had been said that neither of them meant. She still loved her. They still loved each other. Brooke had given it an hour, waited for her to cool off before she called her to apologise.

Vanessa hadn’t picked up.

Brooke’s still waiting on her to call back.

***

Brooke is ten minutes away from a firm meeting when she gets the text.

V: i’ll be at Rialtos for the next hour

V: your move i guess

She doesn’t even think about the decision, simply acts. She asks Nicky to send her apologies, tell the director that she’s had to go home with stomach pains. If she gets a disciplinary it’ll be worth the risk. She crashes out of her office like a tsunami, her bag and her coat swinging wildly from the crook of her arm. Rialto’s is a five minute walk from her office but she makes it in three even in her stilettos. It’s only when she sees it on the corner on the sidewalk opposite that an overwhelming feeling of panic and sickness hits her like a gut punch. She’s been waiting for this moment for the past month-and-twelve-days (she’s counted), but now that it’s here she almost doesn’t know what to do. She’s never felt nerves like this- all of her nerve endings are buzzing like broken strobe lights and every time her heart beats her whole body feels it. It had been different the first time they were supposed to meet up and talk things out because Brooke had been there first, she could sit for a while and psych herself up. But this time Brooke knows that Vanessa is sitting at a table in the bar just across the street, and all that’s separating them is a busy road, a door and a few steps. Brooke steels herself, forces herself to take a few deep breaths as she checks her reflection in the shop window beside her. She looks a fright: no makeup, sleep-deprived bags under her eyes, the only thing remotely presentable about her is her hair which she threw into a low ponytail that morning. Then again, she supposes that Vanessa’s seen her without makeup before. Brooke thinks Vanessa’s seen every possible version of her, apart from of course this one. She takes another deep breath, turns around and stares the bar down as if she’s going to war.

It’s time.

Brooke dashes across the road and it crosses her mind that perhaps it would be better to just let fate take its course and get hit by a yellow taxi, but that’s the coward’s way out so she reaches the bar entranceway, pushes the door open with a huge, held-in breath. Rialto’s is dark inside with dim red lighting, and so even at four in the afternoon it seems as if it’s midnight. There’s red booths with black lacquered tables that shine under the crimson of the lamps positioned above them and the walls are covered in framed pictures, none of which Brooke takes in because she’s searching, slowly yet frantically as if she’s attempting to both prolong and speed up this whole situation. One booth near to her to her right holds a cheerful couple, another on her far left houses an old man drinking a cup of coffee.

And then she sees her.

She’s got her back to the door but Brooke recognises the wave of her blonde hair, the tie-dye of the oversized hoodie she’s wearing. She recognises the acrylic nails and the chunky rings that pattern the hand that’s curled around what looks like a French martini on the table. A searing, painful memory of their first date at Le Bernardin wrenches Brooke’s heart. She takes another deep breath and walks forward even though she feels like she’s going to be sick. She stops just at the table and the breath is knocked out of her lungs.

Vanessa looks up at her, her face impassive. Her makeup is perfect, but then Brooke wouldn’t have expected anything else. There’s dark roots at her side parting but Brooke thinks she somehow suits them. Apart from that she looks exactly the same, just how Brooke remembers her.

“Hi,” Brooke greets her feebly. Vanessa somehow communicates a shrug through a blink.

“Hey,” she says, taking her hand off her glass to gesture to the seat opposite her. “Sit.”

Brooke nods as she sits down in the red leather seat, and it’s only then that she notices there’s a second cocktail opposite Vanessa. It looks like a pornstar martini, it��s one of Brooke’s favourites.

“I ordered you one. Figured it might make this easier,” Vanessa explains. Her expression doesn’t break. Brooke is touched by the gesture.

“Thanks,” she says. Her hands shake as she reaches out to take the glass, sips at it and feels the sweetness of the vanilla vodka and the tang of the passionfruit coat her dry mouth. Her stomach’s still churning as Vanessa sits regarding her for a moment. Brooke wants to say something. She wants to immediately apologise for it all, even though she’s left twelve voicemails and twenty texts saying the same thing. She wants to ask how Vanessa is, even though that would be the most idiotic of things to say. Eventually she decides to lead with a compliment.

“You look great.”

Vanessa sniffs. “You don’t.”

Brooke takes the hit, supposes she deserves it. “I’ve not been sleeping great.”

“Yeah. Yvie’s mentioned,” Vanessa looks down at her lap, blinks. When she looks up again she’s clearly ready to speak, and Brooke’s heart is in her mouth. “So, we need to talk properly.”

“Yes.”

Vanessa looks down at the table, then into Brooke’s eyes. Brooke can tell she’s having a hard time doing so. “Uh, first off I wanna say sorry.”

The apology knocks Brooke for six. She feels herself frown involuntarily. “For what?”

“Well, it was wrong of me to try an’ make you choose between me and your friend. I knew it was wrong the moment I said it but I was jealous, an’ I was hurt. But that don’t excuse it, so I’m sorry.”

Brooke shakes her head. She’d been annoyed at Vanessa for that at the time, and she’d have maybe appreciated an apology a month ago, but just now it only seems trivial in the grand scheme of things. “Vanessa, you don’t…you don’t need to apologise for this situation.”

Vanessa narrows her eyes at her and there’s a warning look in her gaze, so Brooke drops her protests and shrugs a little. “But I accept your apology.”

Vanessa nods, clearly following some internal script. Brooke is happy to go along with it, to play her part and say her lines, whatever they’re meant to be. She’s so used to immediately taking control of every situation she finds herself in, and even though her stomach feels sick and she feels as if she’s in an interrogation room she doesn’t mind playing the role of the witness and letting Vanessa be the lawyer for a change. She supposes she is on trial in some way.

“Now…I know that you’re sorry, you’ve made that pretty clear, so I don’t want another apology from you,” Vanessa begins, and part of Brooke doesn’t like that because she does want to say sorry, but maybe that’s just for her own benefit and not Vanessa’s. Vanessa sighs as she continues, looks down at her drink and this time doesn’t break eye contact. “But I need you to know how much you hurt me.”

Brooke winces. She realises Vanessa’s waiting for confirmation. “Okay.”

Vanessa pauses, and the breath she takes is shaky before she speaks again. “I…loved you so much, Brooke Lynn.”

The past tense slices Brooke in half.

“I never loved anyone like that before in my life. An’ I always thought you were too good to be true, like somehow one day I’d wake up and our whole relationship would be a dream. I never stopped tellin’ you how lucky I was or how much I appreciated you or how much I loved you. An’ you never stopped tellin’ me either. You made me feel so loved, an’ so precious, an’ so…fuck, sorry.”

Vanessa’s tone grows frustrated, anger layering with the tears Brooke can see in her eyes as she tips her head up, swipes at them like a tiger to wipe them away. Brooke thinks her heart might be breaking again, halves into quarters.

“An’ so that day, when we had that fight,” Vanessa continues, staring steadfastly at Brooke. “All of that, everything we had…it was like it didn’t matter anymore? Like everything we’d shared an’ everything I’d told you an’ everything you’d told me…like, what, that was all for nothing?”

“It wa-”

“Just lemme get this out, please,” Vanessa puts a hand up, stops her. “It was like everything I knew about you was just…nothing. I didn’t know you anymore. An’ I know it was a stupid fight and we shoulda been able to work that shit out, but…I was hurt. I’m still hurting. You hurt me.”

Vanessa stops. She’s done. Brooke wants to cry. She swallows the feeling down before she speaks.

“I behaved like a dick. And I said stupid things, but by the time they were out I couldn’t take them back. I didn’t mean any of it, Vanessa, I just…opened my mouth and said whatever got there first. That’s my fault, I know that. And I know I’ve apologised before but I haven’t had the chance to do it in person, so I’m honestly so sorry for hurting you. For making it seem like our relationship meant nothing to me. Like you meant nothing to me. You mean the world to me, you still do,” Brooke sighs, trying to make the deep breath she takes to stave off her tears subtle. She can’t meet Vanessa’s eyes when there’s tears in her own so she fixes her gaze on the passionfruit half floating in her drink as she continues. “And you don’t have to accept it, just as long as you hear it.”

“I know,” Vanessa says instantly. She looks calmer now she’s said her piece and heard Brooke’s, and she takes a sip from the two little black straws sticking out of the martini glass. She suddenly rolls her eyes, a bitter smile spreading across her face. “Fuck you, Brooke Lynn.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I mean…fuck you for making me still love you. Fuck me for still loving you,” Vanessa sighs, resigned. The words make Brooke’s heart give a leap and she can’t help the smile she instantly tries to suppress and fails. Vanessa narrows her eyes at her, her expression turning serious. “But that don’t mean I forgive you.”

“I know. You don’t have to,” Brooke says guiltily. She thinks about saying it, wonders if it’ll guilt-trip Vanessa and she doesn’t want that, but indulgently and selfishly she says it anyway. “I still love you. I never stopped.”

Vanessa winces as if she’s been shot, her expression instantly turning into one of discomfort and her eyes squeezing shut. Brooke frowns. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologising, Christ. You’re so fuckin’ Canadian,” Vanessa sighs exasperatedly as she puts her head in her hands, and Brooke probably would’ve laughed if she hadn’t been trying to repair the most important relationship of her life so far. Brooke feels awkward and she’s in this conversation without a map, unsure which direction it’s going in.

“Where do we go from here?”

Vanessa drains her glass, foam and syrup all that’s left. She leans back in her chair and folds her arms over. There’s a tiny smile that’s back on her face, and it makes Brooke’s hopes start to climb.

“Well,” she shrugs a little, her guard still up but ever so slightly lowered. “You can start by buyin’ me another drink an’ we can take it from there.”

Brooke nods, grabs her purse and almost sprints to the bar. She orders another French martini and another pornstar- she thinks she’ll be needing it. As she waits for their drinks and the sound of ice in a cocktail shaker cuts through the air, Brooke sneaks a look at Vanessa in the booth. She’s so gorgeous. Brooke’s happy to see her again, despite the circumstances. Just as she makes to turn back around, Vanessa’s head snaps up from the phone in her hand and their eyes meet.

Vanessa’s gaze is soft and the small smile on her face is warm.

Maybe they’re going to be okay.

#rpdr fanfiction #ortega #not a ghost you're in my head #your move #branjie #angst #lesbian au #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #detox #nicky doll #yvie oddly #priyanka

55 notes · View notes

geminipdf · 3 years

Note

what are the extracts abt education that you just posted from? It seems really interesting but I didn't entirely understand it. No worries if u don't want to lol but could you explain what point the author was trying to make?

the excerpts are from a book by Mark Fisher called ‘Capitalist Realism. Is There No Alternative?’ which i want to kind of binge-read in one day cause it’s a good compilation of points that can be made about capitalism and its effects on our everyday lives, the economy, education, etc. it doesn’t really discuss anything in-depth but i personally think it does a good job of pinpointing the central issues with capitalist reality!

mark fisher’s point is that educational institutions are currently in a pretty fraught position and that position affects teachers, since they are the one dealing with students directly. there’s been a shift in dealing with students and enforcing discipline - the author is a college professor himself and he brings up his own students as an example - since disciplinary structures are buckling in institutions and being replaced with other kinds of “softer” modes of control, he observes that students have no motivation to work and study or even pay attention in class, they’re unable to focus, read, work on stuff that used to interest them. capitalism grips us not with rigid control, but with something Fisher describes as “systems of perpetual consumption”. once we’re cut off from the things that give us instant gratification, we become basically helpless. if we don’t have youtube, instagram, facebook, TV running in the background we become bored and fall into a stupor, if we’re not interacting with a videogame/a virtual reality, we are understimulated and depressed. we don’t really read anymore, since reading stuff online is more like data processing and has little to do with reading a book. and that’s what Fisher sees as a cause for so many students being diagnosed with dyslexia - he sees it as a political/systemic problem since it has recently become a very popular diagnosis. his own college students can’t read shit for class because they see the process of reading as something too boring, too slow, not interactive and gratifying enough.

in the case of that second excerpt with the smoking oscar isaac gif - Fisher explores the topic of the position teachers are in right now. since i am a teacher rn i really Felt it, cause it’s literally like that!!!!!!! we are supposed to be someone with authority over students, someone that tells them what to do, when, where and how, someone they listen to and respect, we’re supposed to use discipline, but discipline is outdated, so students get bored and simply ignore most of the disciplnary measures teachers can threaten them with (pls keep in mind that i would never want to punish/discipline my students in any way lol and i don’t do it, but it’s something that the system expects from teachers). at the same time teachers are burdened with providing students with enough entertainment to keep them interested in education AND caring for the students and act as people who teach them how to navigate personal life, emotions, relationships, social norms, etc., something that’s traditionally ascribed to parents. so teachers are caught between the discipline-enforcer and care-taker role which kind of fucks u up. you have to be a good, loving teacher that teaches kids how to live but you also have to test their knowledge using a standardized test that doesn’t reflect their abilities and potentials at all, and fail some of them, even though you know they worked as hard as they could, because that’s how the educational system works. it sucks :(

the entire book is based on the point made by a lot of leftist academics which can be summarised in the notion that rigid control and discipline isn’t the thing that controls us anymore. there isn’t a one Big Bad Set of Rules which, if disobeyed, disciplines and punishes us in a visible and direct way, the control that is most persistent in modern societies is of a different kind - one that allows us to choose between a lot of options, one that seems “softer”, but it can actually control us in a way more effective way because it kind of supervises every single sphere of our lives.

this got really long... but i hope i made it a bit clearer lol

#<3 #Anonymous

4 notes · View notes

im-a-meteorite · 4 years

Text

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series

#harry potter #harry potter movies #philosopher's stone #chamber of secrets #prisoner of azkaban #hermione granger #ronald weasley #remus lupin #sirius black #severus snape #albus dumbledore #minerva mcgonagall #movie marathon #notes #harry potter notes

20 notes · View notes

furyfought · 3 years

Text

abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway . they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but.

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro.

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff.

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch.

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋." + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts.

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked..

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨.

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster.

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

#abernathyintro #omg arriving unfashionably late thirty yrs later. >.>#[vine vc] heeey.. . ..#nt rereading this. simply not strong enough. if there r errors then no there aren't<3

6 notes · View notes

grlfriends · 3 years

Text

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

#g.txt

4 notes · View notes