#or if that sounds like too much work 4 you ..u could try minding ur FUCKING buisness . log off tumblr & try like

[moomeecore]

Lol why do you defend bpd Seek help fr

bpd?? like. like borderline personality disorder? like, the mental disorder? that people have??? "defend bpd"???? DEFEND it?? from what??? abelism??? misinformation?? this ask is kinda mind boggling dude. like wow.

just so u know i am getting help for my multiple mental disorders :) that i have. ik that's not what u meant by "seeking help" but what does that rlly reflect other than ur lack of knowledge on mental health issues? wow i definetly trust you to be super educated on mental disorders considering you used "seek help" as an insult. ur rlly winning me over here.

here's a genuine question for you: have you tried seeking... i don't know... a reputable source on bpd? information on what it actually is, what it actually means to have bpd? or is ur only source of information that's led you to this conclusion.. reddit posts, listsicles abt "how to spot a borderline/narcissist/sociopath uwu" & ur own personal conclusions made from meeting one person w bpd one time ever.

#god i hate ppl like this #and the nerve to swnd an ask abt it. thats so PATHETIC LMAO #u care that much??? u r THAT dedicated to actively hating ppl w a certain mental disorder?? #..and u think IM the one who should 'seek help'?? #pls try reflecting a little bit. what got u to the point where u #(and ik u did this bc i dont think ive ever said anything else abt bpd) #u saw my comment sympathising w someone w bpd who got a rlly horrible disrespectful ask talking abt how 'evil' ppl w bpd are #CLICKED on my profile. and sent me this ask #ur short sentences and use of lol dont fool me. you are WAY TOO invested and u need to find something else to do w ur life #smthn that dosent hurt ppl! that dossnt spread misinfo or make ppl feel bad or encourage stigma!! maybe try doing a little reaserch paper #on bpd where u make sure to check the credibility of ur sources rather than looking at listicles like 'top 10 signs u know a NARCISSIST!!! #or if that sounds like too much work 4 you ..u could try minding ur FUCKING buisness . log off tumblr & try like #knitting or smthn. idk man. pick up a hobby please. for ur own saks #and for the sake of all the ppl w bpd out there who ur mercilessly treating like shit in order to put urself on a moral pedestal #bc ud rather pick & choose to beleive the 'easy' perception of life where ppl can be diagnosed with Bad Person and u get to feel better #than them .... than educate urself on the real world & accept the reality that things r more nuanced & complexed than that #(this ask didnt actually piss me off as much as it may seem. its p tame. i just have been complaning abt this sort of thing latley #and jumped at the bit to ruthlessly tear apart someone w these sort of beleifs. like u came to me dude lol. thanks for the free invite to #go feral lmaoo) #text

[plmp0]

Bad Game

Summary: You've just missed how rough Heeseung used to fuck you so you decided to push his buttons, but he noticed what you are trying to do and gave you exactly what you wanted.

Warnings: pwp (no plot really), mean!dom!Heeseung, begging, dirty talk, degrading, hair pulling, oral (f r), unprotected sex, cream!pie, i think that's all

A.N: This was a very quicky i wrote at 4 AM, sorry if there is any typos/ weird spacing, also please note that english is not my first language. Enjoy ^^

=========================================

"didn't know you were that cock dumb u know? always denying being horny in front of me but all the time you are fantasizing about my dick huh?" Heeseung stuffed two of his fingers inside ur mouth making you choke on them your hips trying to grind on his knee that is positioned between ur legs and he chuckled at ur miserable attempt

"What a pervert, a naughty slut" he whispered in ur ears as he grabbed ur hair and pulled, you arched your back moaning, "And that's okay, you know why? Because i'm the only one who can take care of you like this." he removed his fingers from ur lips groping ur breats making you whimper wanting him to touch you more.

"Only I can fuck u till u can't remember your name." he grunted one of his hands wrapping around your neck choking you lightly but u couldn't help it but grip his wrist and he just cooed at how weak you are.

Heeseung made sure u'd regret messing up with him, trying to make him jealous? really?Knowing how he can't handle seeing others trying to make a move on you in front of him.

"How low of you, horny girl trying to piss me off." He chuckled "You don't know who you're messing up with, sweetheart." He leaned towards you, "I am a man of few words. If you mess up, then i'll fuck u out of your mind."

He kissed you hard and pushed you down the bed, making you lay on your back. He kissed down from ur neck, collarbones, to the valley between ur breasts and you arched your back when he took ur nipple into his mouth, sucking on it harshly.

"So cute" He licked over ur nipples, "So beautiful and all mine." He kept kissing down, reaching your belly making your mind go numb from how different he sounds everytime "My pretty princess" He mumbled spreading your legs apart and putting them over his shoulder, giving a kiss to each thigh. "U could of just said that you wanted me to fuck you dumb" He gave a smirk and dived in between your legs, eating you out.

"Fuuuck" You moaned when he started moving his tongue around ur clit skillfuly hid hold tight on your thighs moving his head left and right and it was just too much for you, pulling on his hair signaling him to slow down but that just made him moan keeping the same pace.

He continued working on you his nose rubbing against your clit as he sucked on it harshly and you felt a knot forming on your stomach moaning his name non stop

Heeseung felt so lost in the taste of you his dick twitching all the time, he took his right hand, bringing his middle and index finger to ur entrance and you rutted your hips trying to feel him inside you and that just earned you a tsk from him and a slap in ur right thigh "Patience, i get that you're desperate to be fucked but there is no way i'm gonna let what you did slip without punishing you" he voiced, still sucking on ur clit and teasing your entrance with his fingers.

"Pleasee, i'll do anything just fuc-" Your pleads got interrupted by him shoving two fingers inside you and curling them to reach the spongy spot that always made you see stars, "Fuck yes right theree" You arched your back and closed your eyes as the knot was becoming tighter, Heeseung could tell that you were close so he started moving his fingers at a faster pace, making you scream and cum all over his face and he didn't even give you a moment to rest fingers working faster than before making you cry and try to get away from him feeling so sensitive, "No no no" you whined, "too much" You cried

"No?" He stopped and grabbed your chin "isn't that what you wanted, huh? What's wrong now?" he mocked curling his fingers inside you his other hand locking you down on the bed and you could feel yourself close again feeling so weak against him eyes rolling back as you were about to come again and just when you were about to Heeseung stopped moving pulling his fingers out leaving your body shaking as a whine left your lips

"Owww" he cooed looking at ur undone state eyes red and teary lips red from biting on them, seeing you in that state just made his dick twitch but as much as he wanted to fuck you now he couldn't forget what you did earlier his blood boiling even tho he knows it was a stupid plan of yours but that doesn't change the fact that Jay held your hand it doesn't change the fact that his filthy hands wrapped around our tiny waist, and Heeseung couldn't let go of that sight his eyes darkening more making ur skin shiver as he looked you down

"Turn around and get on your knees" he commanded, his voice dark. You followed his command and did as told, "I'm not gonna stop till i feel that you are really sorry for what you did today and don't even try to cum without my permission baby" You could feel his dominance taking over you making you more excited and you couldn't wait for him to wreck you.

He slapped your ass massaging the skin afterwards and then started leaving marks on your back, you felt the tip of his cock rubbing on your entrance, the anticipation was making you go crazy but you ended up disappointed when Heeseung kept grinding his cock on your folds for the next couple of minutes despite your begging he didn't enter you and when you tried to reach out and rub urself against his cock he just slapped your hand away.

He took your chin and turned your face to the side so he could look at you as he started kissing you, his tongue finding its way inside ur mouth. He moved his hands from your waist and cupped your boobs, massaging them, pinching and pulling on your nipples making you whimper and he didn't miss the way your hips twitched burrying himself inside you without a warning stretching you open,and puting an end to your suffering, he didn't wait for you to adjust to his size pounding on you hitting your g spot immediately and you couldn't hold your voice in and moaned loudly, Heeseung didn't stop there he grabbed your neck and pushed your head down and started moving at an even faster pace the sound of skin slapping and moans filled the room, he let go of your neck and you felt his grip on your hips getting tighter as he kept going and going and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten, your walls fluttering around his dick, "Don't cum until i say so." He warned voice stern as ever and you couldn't do anything but nod his hand steadying your head against the mattress, bed frame banging against the wall at the force of his thrusts, you felt yourself coming closer and closer and he knew it, his groans going straight to your core making you clench on him and he threw his head back cursing at your tightness his hand slapping your ass and the sting brought you back from the edge Heeseungs hand reached to your hair pulling on it and making you arch your back, you couldn't keep your eyes open as they rolled back "Look at you now, can't even speak because of my dick" he grunted and you didn't even have the strength to moan, his grip on your hair getting tighter "What a good little cockslut" he chuckled seeing how his words affected you "But looks like you forgot that you are mine" he thrusted this time hard and deep making you moan and clench around him "Who are you?" You could hear the anger in his voice "Tell me" he griped your jaw cock still deep inside of you waiting for your answer,

"I'm- Yours- Ahh" you choked on your moans making him smirk as he pulled his cock all the way out and then slammed back in making you arch your back

"Again" He repeated and you felt your orgasm approaching again "Heeseung-" You were about to cum but he slapped your ass

"Who do you belong to" Heeseung growled and the grip he had on ur hair and hips tightened "Who's dick are you on?" he thrusted a couple of times before stopping again, "Yours! It's only yours, please let me cum!" you begged trying to fuck yourself on his dick but his hands were holding you still and it was just too much, he chuckled "You should've known better than to be a brat to me baby"

He started moving again slamming his cock inside you hitting the deepest parts of you, making you a moaning mess and after a couple of minutes of begging he finally gave you permission feeling close as well, "You can cum baby, show me how much you love my cock" he whispered in ur ears and it was enough to make u come and tighten around his dick, making him cum right after you

"Fuck" he cursed as he rode his high and then pulled out of you, and he couldn't help but groan at the sight of his cum dripping out of you taking his fingers to fuck his cum back inside of you and then licking it off his fingers, the view made you whine

"I hope that what you did today won't repeat again, understood?" He asked as he helped you lay on your back and you were too tired to even talk so you just nodded whispering a small "sorry" and he laughed a bit "You did so well baby, such a good girl" he praised caressing your cheek and you couldn't help but lean in and close your eyes at the sensation of his hands, he smiled at your action and leaned down to give a kiss to your forehead. And you don't know if this is gonna really be the last time your gonna push his buttons loving the way he fucked you earlier but hey he doesn't need to know now!

Thank you for reading a feedback would be so much appreciated ^^

#enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #kpop smut #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen heeseung #heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung smut #heeseung smut #heeseung imagines #heeseung enhypen #lee heeseung #enhypen scenarios

[pupcuck]

omg cherry i just had a thought about.. adoptive dads chris and leon who started to see u in a different light at the same time...

like imagine how disgusted they would be of themselves! you're their little girl! they adopted you when you were still a kindergartener, watched you grow up, supported you through all those weird teenage phases! they would never think of you in such a filthy way...

at least not until you finally came back from uni after like 4 years, maybe you were studying abroad so your only means of comunication with your dads were text messages and eventual calls. but now you're finally back! but yours dads didn't expext you to be so... changed.

your face matured, no signs of the baby fat that you had before travelling out of the country. they way you dressed reflected what kind of people you were hanging out with in college, either clothes too small and revealing, or the appropriate size but way too tight in certain places. and your body of course... when did god graced you with such a womanly body? hell, when did you went from a girl to a woman? probably in one of your weekend nights out, chris thought, or maybe in a empty classroom when one of your teachers suggested how you could improve your grades, said leon's mind.

both of them couldn't help but steal glances at your ass whenever you turned around, or keep theirs hands on your back longer than necessary after a hug, and they also couldn't stop their dirty thoughts the more they spent time around you. either taking you for themselves or sharing you with your other father. the place didn't matter either, it could be the couch you were currently laying on, or the dining table the three of you ate at a hour before. or they could be classic and take you to their room, but it would take so long since it's upstairs, besides you're already in the couch sooo...

but hey! what are they doing! thinking about fucking their daughter? how gross! they should feel disgusted; indeed, they feel disgusted. but such feeling doesn't stop their filthy fantasies involving you, doesn't stop their sneaky hands on your body while you cuddled with them in the living room —and you didn't think much of it cause hey! it's just your dads!—, and definitely doesn't stop them to, later at night, have sex knowing damn well you were sleeping in your childhood room, just behind the wall their bed's headboard was almost banging against. and while they fucked the hell out of each other, they couldn't help but wish it was you who they're pounding into, or maybe that you were in between them, taking care of them both. disgusting.

and oh, these two old men, so engulfed in their own pleasure that they didn't give a single thought to try to muffle their sounds. and of course you woke up to slapping sounds and loud grunts and groans. in a half-asleep state, you were unable to think of the obvious reason behind such sounds, growing worried of what was going on in your dads' room. maybe you should cheek if your old men are doing fine...

bonus!!! if you were still a virgin, they would definitely have a 30 minute fight about who would defile you. but in the end they'd probably fuck your pussy at the same time, so you could have the honor of having your first time with your two loving dads! how considerate of them, no?

also, could i be the 🩰 anon maybe? if it's not taken already.. also pls dont mind any typos i wrote thiz in a rush ^^

ofc u can be 🩰 :3 under the cut response bc i made it a little long 😭

AND OH MY GOD i was stuck on the whole dad chris, uncle leon train BUT UR SO SMART… MARRIED CHREON N THEIR DAUGHTER IS SO REAL!!! i like the idea of both of them feeling this way, but leon thinks chris will literally shoot him for thinking that way and chris thinks leon won’t hesitate to kick him out, send him packing, to get far away from their little girl.

they don’t talk about it, but when they’re fucking, it’s so heated. they don’t usually get so worked up, so needy, half the time leon can’t even get it up and chris isn’t one of those guys that need to go every day. neither of their sex drives r particularly high. not at all. but since you’ve come home? it’s gone through the roof, they can’t keep their hands off each other and it’s all your fault.

leon’s a bit quicker to notice than chris. he’ll watch chris get more affectionate, usually the big guy gives you a lot of space, he thinks chris just missed you, after all he’s always been the one that’s more involved in caretaking with you. but it’s more than that. he can see the way chris has difficulty looking you in the eye, how his fingers twitch when you hug him from behind while he washes the dishes, or when he’s making breakfast. how handsy chris gets when you’re near him, keeps asking you to come over n give your old man a hug. it’s so unusual and it clicks. chris wants you too.

chris only notices when leon starts getting loud about it. leon’s doing it on purpose of course. but chris doesn’t know that. he keeps calling you all these names, sugar ‘n baby ‘n bunny ‘n princess, stuff that’s so unlike leon. he’s sorta stiff, always been a babe or baby kinda guy. and leon keeps commenting on how much you’ve grown up, how you look like such a big girl, and he’ll say that and glance very pointedly at your bust, or he’ll put his hands on your hips to move you out the way when he’s getting past. just makes flirty comments that are very typical of leon towards chris, but not towards you. and it kinda clicks for him too.

#🩰 anon #tw incest #tw pseudocest #inbox 💌

[xxbl00ds0akeds3raxx]

hey, fifi? seraphina? my love, my one and only… we really need to talk.

i was reading through your old posts and i found some REALLY weird stuff there.

like, okay, i know we’ve talked about ur other… flings before. i’ll tolerate them for you, you still know that. but.. what’s this about working at the brothel??? PLEASE tell me someone was joking writing that… in all of those asks… this has to be some weird joke, right???

at least with ur modeling and streaming, i can keep you safe. no one can hurt u there. but the brothel? sure, the whole town is crawling with rapists, but why would u intentionally go where they’re all gathered??? u even SAID that u KNOW it’s unsafe. why do u keep working there? it has to be a joke. if it’s not, u need to quit.

please. I can get us a flat or something since u can’t stay at my house. or get my parents to like u more. It’ll just take a bit more time. u don’t have to keep working to earn money. or at least not there. i could keep us safe, and happy… i just don’t know why u don’t trust me to do that!!

…i need to go look through the rest of ur posts now too. don’t block me, i have other accounts too, you already know that. u can’t keep hiding these things from me.

is there anything else u want to admit now too?? u know i'll find out eventually.

i’m TRYING to be good for u here. but it’s getting really fucking hard. i'm just trying to protect u.

…please reply.

- kylar

hhh hello kylar! my love, my pretty boy!!! umm!! tha thing abt my old posts is that they r old! ^.^ no need to look through the rest of them. not that i'm hiding anything from u— i just think we should talk b4 u... mmm, rile urself up more maybe ??

ofc i have no reason 2 lie to u sooo ahaha... ^_^ yes, i used to work at the brothel. i mean...,, i technically still do but mostly just to restock the facilities! i dont dance anymore. except for fridays,,, but all of that is very meticulously planned out and none of it is real! just a show!! briar makes sure it's safe 4 me bc umm the audience rlly likes me and i make her a lot of money so i can't just... quit really–

i don't have 2 fuck anyone there anymore, so its okay, right?? i could go over tha terms n conditions of shows w/ u if it'd make u more comfortable ??? ^^' i swear ik what i'm doing & i am being safe now, i didn't tell u bcos i knew u wld get worried and i never want to make u upset im sorry :((

baby, that sounds wonderful but... how would you even afford a flat— ? i mean, i could pitch in of course, but i still have to pay off bailey :/ and i have 2 be responsible 4 robin as well,,, u know im working hard 2 get on ur parents good sides but it will take time ಥ_ಥ

i do trust u!! i know u have my best interest in mind <3 it's just that um... sometimes wat u want isn't... realistic- like,,, even if i did quit, the problems wouldn't go away. i made my bed n now i gotta lie in it & until i have tha resources to cover it up,,, its smth we have 2 live w/ 〒▽〒 ghhh im sorry that i've dragged u into all of this :( i will make it up 2 u i promise !!!

u are being so good and i'm so proud of u, i love u so much <3 plz be patient w/ me, i'm also trying,,,

#ask #fifi answerz #kylar the loner #dol pc #oc rp #character blog #roleplay blog #original character

[pink-booty-butts]

🥮 🍘 🍙 (also ur great thank u for ur time)

Omg anon thank you so much for responding!! And omg you're the sweetest!! You're great too anon!! I bet you're amazing and wonderful!! <33

🥮 Do you have any writing milestones you're working toward?

Ooh this is such a great question!! When I first started writing fanfiction for this blog, my goal was to post one fic a week. I've definitely slacked on that, especially since I got discouraged a while ago and haven't written in a hot minute (i'm so sorry guys!!). But one of my goals is to hopefully get back to that! I'm going to attempt to ease back into that so I don't burn myself out, but watch me post like 5 billion fics over spring break lmao

One of my other goals, I suppose this is more short term, is to hopefully post a fic for each of the boys I haven't written for once I finish the requests in my inbox! I'm hoping maybe this will make things more interesting for you guys, or maybe encourage a bit more interaction? Not to sound like an attention whore but highkey I LOVE talking to you guys cos you're all awesome!! So I'm really hoping if I add more variety to my content, you guys will enjoy it more and maybe feel more comfortable saying stuff!

🍘 Is there a fic or idea for a fic that you've abandoned?

Yeah definitely!! I wouldn't say they're abandoned necessarily because I do intend to go back and finish all of them at some point, but currently I have like 3 Ariel fics in my WIP folder where I kinda wrote myself into a corner and I abandoned them because I didn't know how to keep the story going haha. I also have one for Jamie and a chronically ill reader which I wrote before Lying in Laundry, but at the time I thought it was a little awkwardly written so I ended up scrapping it and writing that fic instead. After re-reading it honestly I think it's not that bad and I kinda wanna post it, but I probably need to change some bits I ended up using in Lying in Laundry so they're more different!

As for fic ideas, probably the only one that comes to mind is one on my ideas list about the Reader sending Jamie articles about having a massive dick (lmao hear me out before you judge me!!). That idea was born from seeing articles that literally had titles like "my dick is too big and it ruined my life". There's also a tv special on Channel 4 called "my massive cock" and it's about guys who have dicks that are too big and it causes problems like finding a job and that kind of stuff (i actually haven't watched it, but tbh i probably will to get inspo for this fic lmao).

I still really wanna write something for it because I think it'd be hilarious, but I probably need to think of a bit more substance/a scenario to add to it because as it stands right now it'd probably be a super short fic if I wrote it haha. Also in the Baynton Babes server we always talk about how Jamie has the biggest dick so it seems really fitting for him :p

🍙 Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

I answered this one here! But I would say the fic in the #2 spot is probably Lying in Laundry.

I assume it could be because that fic was too similar to some of the other Jamie fics I've written. I mentioned this in the other post answering these questions but I do try to re-read my fics to avoid this. I think when I was writing this one and re-reading the others I was worried it was too similar/boring, so that's probably part of why it didn't do so great haha

Also I think it probably didn't get that much attention because mentioning "chronically ill reader" in the title probably turned some people off haha. I knew that would probably happen even before I posted it, but I did try to make the reader's chronic illness not a major focal point (i think it's mentioned like once and that's it haha) so it would still be relatable to those without one so it lowkey hurt my feelings lmao </3

But I'm chronically ill and I know there's a few other people in this fandom who are as well, so even if they don't get as much attention as my other fics I will probably still post chronically ill reader fics every now and then because it's important to me for the chronic illness gang to get some representation, even if it's just on my little baby corner of the internet :p

Thank you again for your questions anon!! I appreciate you!! <3

#ask game #anon <3 #i have so many thoughts for ariel x chronically ill reader :p #but since he's like lowkey my husband im probs biased lmaoo #anyways tysm for the questions anon!! #these are so fun! i love doing them!! <3

[bruh-changbin]

heyyyy lovieeeeee,,, how r u doing, i've missed youuuuu - and i hope you've been keeping well and looking after yourself <333

i read like a thousand books (three) in my time away and wow i had a good fucking time.. okay so based off of your recommendation, i read klara and the sun which.. admittedly had been collecting dust on my shelf since last august i think.. big massive heavy regret on that front,, it was so beautiful and it's like the second book i've ever read where i could like picture everything so clearly omds it was so descriptive and i loved it and klara and her mind so much it was such a lovely read so thank you for mentioning it otherwise it would have sat for a bit longer i'm sure !!!

then i read a certain hunger and OHHHHHH my days,,, that fucking book.. my second favourite read of the year so far so amazing .. it was wild and i loved it, amazing,,, so interesting like i don't think i've read anything like that before .. wow.. i loved the narrative and like that part at the end w alex.. imagine if she'd said yes.. hmm – i also found her friendship with emma (at least after the arrest thing) so touching and lovely,,, that letter (4 lines) she wrote was so sweet and i think dolls is such a cute little nickname too

and i just finished reading exciting times by naoise dolan which i really enjoyed too.. if you like sally rooney you'll like this book (most likely,,, i love sally rooney and loved this) but yes.. just a very simple and i guess in a way sometimes dull depiction of the life of an irish woman (22 (?) year old) who moves to hong kong to teach england and it follows the relationships and stuff she experiences while she's there,,, i really really loved it !!!

all of this to say,,, more recs please i love ur book brain sm (and ur writing one and ur friendship one of course) <333

sax!!!!!! hi baefy I missed you too 😿💗 I’m doing pretty alright! struggling through uni while trying to make sure I take time for myself 🩹😵‍💫 how have you been??!

I’m am absolutely ECSTATIC that you loved kats because it’s by far one of my fav reads of the year. ishiguro is so good at world building and tbh I’m absolutely terrified of AI’s and the idea of robots taking over but by the end of the book I was so captivated by klara and her motives and I had literal tears streaming down my face when I finished. if you liked ishiguro’s writing I’d def recommend never let me go! it’s a lot more self reflective thank kats but wowww it is still amazing. I’m currently reading a pale view of hills which is his debut novel and it’s interesting.. I like it so far (only 30 pages in) but I’m not finding it as gripping as his other stories.

YASSSS I was hoping you would like a certain hunger!!! I genuinely have not read a single book quite like it but I loved it sm 😫 omg the end w alex sent me for a loop as much as I understood where she was coming from part of me wishes she accepted his proposal and lived a happy life instead of… you know 😵‍💫 I wish emma was in the book way more tbh!!! she was such an interesting side character and I agree w you their relationship was a nice break from everything else that was going on.

confession time: I have never picked up a sally rooney book 😵‍💫 but since you love her I’ll give her a try since I think my dad has a copy of normal people lying around somewhere… but exciting times sounds really interesting!! I love love love slice of life fics so this sounds right up my alley I’ll have to check it out

when I first moved into my new rental place I was without internet for almost 2 weeks so I read a fuck ton and have more recs for you! (apologies in advance for clogging up everyones dash w this long ass post)

well I reread bunny and loved it even more the second time since I could kinda work out all of the unexplained odds and ends, and then I read mona award’s new book all’s well and really enjoyed it! def not as much as bunny but it was still good and super trippy and had a very insane mc which always keeps things fun 😼

sticking w the theme of crazy main characters i finished nightbitch by rachel yoder and it is my most annotated book by far like… shit was insane. it’s about a stay at home mom who gave up her job of being an artist and she starts to think that she’s slowly turning into a dog and kinda joins a cult with other stay at home moms. very weird and unsettling at times but also very very interesting and well written!

I think I remember telling you about breasts and eggs by mieko kawakami awhile ago (still one of my top reads of the year) but I just read heaven by her and it felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on repeatedly. it’s about these 2 middle school kids who bond over being the victims of bullying and 🤧 it destroyed me to say the least but was also so beautifully written

last one I promise I promise then I’ll shut the fuck up but slow days fast company by eve babitz!!! super short but veryyy fun and summery and made me feel like a sore loser for not being alive in LA in the 70’s. it’s a memoir but does not feel like one bc it’s so so fun 💗

AHHH that’s all I’m sorry that was so much rambling 😭 but it fr makes me so happy to chat about books w you if you read more pls give me recs!!! you’re so so sweet sax it’s so nice to be chatting w you again 💗💗💗

#sadly haven’t been able to read as much lately because of school 😭 #but I WILL find time to finish all of the books in my tbr list by the end of this year #hopefully….. #mwah thank you sax for dropping in 😽 #asks #moots 😸 #drunkjaked

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 7102-7105

JOHN: roxy???

ROXY: sup

JOHN: what are you doing here?

JOHN: i thought you were going to see your denizen!

ROXY: i did

JOHN: you did?

ROXY: yeh

JOHN: how did it go??

ROXY: it went ok

JOHN: yeah?

JOHN: what happened??

ROXY: oh u know

ROXY: ventured to spooky subterranean lair 4 a bit of cathartic and life altering monster realtalk

JOHN: ok, that is a funny way of putting it, but yeah, me too!

ROXY: yup i figured ur monster quest happened

ROXY: i mean once the gross black shit disappeared and the wind started blowing like a motherfucker

JOHN: what did ur monster say?

JOHN: i mean your.

ROXY: hey maybe we shoud try to be more respectful abt our god monsters...

ROXY: her names nix!

JOHN: right...

JOHN: what did nix say?

JOHN: did she speak in the weird babbley language that you could still understand somehow, even though it made no sense?

ROXY: fuck yes

ROXY: was downright incomprehensible in the most mysteriously understandable way

JOHN: ha ha.

ROXY: she told me this riddle thing

ROXY: that basically spread it all out for me

ROXY: like what my options were and what would happen if i did the options and like the metaphysical and moral consequences of doing those options

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: typheus pretty much did the same thing with me.

JOHN: typheus was the name of my snake monster, by the way.

ROXY: oooh u had a snake monster?

JOHN: yes, he was awesome.

JOHN: so, did nix give you some sort of challenge to overcome, which by doing so, you could get in touch with your powers?

ROXY: uh

JOHN: which enabled you to appear here, by doing like this incredible voidey thing, that let you phase out of existence, and magically appear with me in this weird plane of reality?

ROXY: lol no

ROXY: she p much just told me to fly to your planet

ROXY: so i did

JOHN: huh.

JOHN: you mean, like...

JOHN: you just... wrapped up your conversation with her. left her lair...

JOHN: and then flew to lowas?

ROXY: yes

JOHN: ohh... kay?

ROXY: lmfao

ROXY: i know right, wow wat a quest!

ROXY: but when u think about it it was the totes obvious thing to do

ROXY: i didnt know it at the time but you were gonna make your whole planet disappear

ROXY: so if i wanted to keep persisting thru your history altering hijinks then all i really had to do was uh

ROXY: come along for the ride

ROXY: no monsterly NITE MAGICS needed!

JOHN: yeah, that makes sense.

ROXY: there were stipulations though

ROXY: mad stips if u will, vis a vis buttloads of opaque goddess riddles

JOHN: right. you mean the "choice" thing?

ROXY: yes

JOHN: what were the mad stips?

ROXY: she said

ROXY: keep in mind i am paraphrasing

ROXY: if paraphrasing is even a thing you can do with stuff said in unfathomable monster jargon

ROXY: that either i could stay behind and vanish into nothingness forever, and everyone in the new reality would inherit all the bigtime responsibilities, including a version of myself who had no memory of any of this and never experienced all the loss and sadness i just went through

ROXY: or

ROXY: i could go with you

ROXY: but in doing so, everyone i loved would know that loss instead

ROXY: w/e that means......

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: typheus gave me almost the exact same sort of choice

JOHN: something about other people feeling the loss i felt, if i accepted his challenge.

JOHN: which i'm sure is probably... not good?

JOHN: but, i mean, what else was i going to do?

JOHN: i couldn't just let things stay the way they were.

ROXY: yes exactly

ROXY: her caveat sounded ominous as shit

ROXY: but

ROXY: there was somethin that didnt sit well with me about doing nothing

ROXY: accepting her terms just felt right u know?

JOHN: yes.

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: here i am

JOHN: yes!

ROXY: :)

JOHN: i'm glad it worked out like this.

JOHN: i was fully prepared to do this alone... to hop around and change things in whatever way.

JOHN: and i would get to see my friends again, even if they don't remember all the same stuff i do.

JOHN: which was a lonely feeling, if that makes sense?

JOHN: but now i'll have someone else to remember the way things originally went.

ROXY: word

JOHN: yes. word indeed.

ROXY: but i know what you mean

ROXY: its nice to have uh

ROXY: like a witness i guess?

ROXY: someone to authenticate the rough shit u went through

ROXY: even if we never end up talkin about it again

ROXY: the fact that at least SOMEONE else knows

ROXY: makes it feel like it didnt all mean

ROXY: nothing?

JOHN: right.

ROXY: because even if it all gets erased and put back all better

ROXY: i dont think the stuff we went through and the feelings we had meant nothing

ROXY: imo the feelings themselves

ROXY: and the way they shaped us

ROXY: that all means...

ROXY: somethin

JOHN: ...

ROXY: hahaha forget it

ROXY: talkin out my ass here

JOHN: no, it makes sense.

JOHN: and anyway, if nothing else, everything that happened brought us here.

JOHN: the stuff we're about to do, whatever it is, wouldn't be possible otherwise.

JOHN: and that feels pretty important, if you ask me!

#homestuck #john egbert #roxy lalonde #homestuck act 6 #page 7102 #page 7103 #page 7104 #page 7105 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 4

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] GOOD EVENING BESTIE!!!! CHEERING U ON!!!! although itll take another few days weeks months for u to finish the fic its totally understandable why it takes that long like!! even as an artist, working on a supposed 4 hr art can take Weeks without that energy. it could be me who doesnt write tho but id always think writers have it hardest to do all the brain connecting the Thinking the Gears Moving in their head to figure out every scene every dialog every word that fits to get a perfect imagery of sumn and i respect dat... i respect yew!!!! SO DO UR BEST ALYYYYYY ILYSM YOURE DOING SO GREAT WITH UR CURRENT WORDCOUNT ALREADY 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💖💞💞💕💓💖💓💕💓💖💓💓💓💖💓💕💓💖💓💖💓💓💖💞💕💞💖💓💖💓💖💓 ONTO THE NEXT FEW THOUSAND UR SO CLOSE 👊👊👊👊 BEATS THE BURNOUT BEATS EVERYTHING THAT STOPS U FROM WRITING AND BEING THE BESTEST 👊👊👊💥💥👊💥💥💥👊💥💥💥

NO BC LIKE AS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DO ART. i will never ever ever understand how u guys do it. anyone can picture things in their mind to some degree but how in the everloving FUCK do you make that picture REAL>?????????????? proportions shading colors how the FUCK do you do the little glowy thing how do you make it Look Right how do you make it Look Good like. ive been doing creative writing in various ways to various degrees for over a decade now and i am still So Very Mediocre i STILL couldnt explain to you how i do it or how it happens and im sure if i had that same experience with art itd be different but. i do Not have that experience with art. so instead i stare at said art and go Hey Genuinely How The Hell Did You Do That and love it with all my heart

i dont even understand how other writers write like wdym you have a PLOT you have PACING you have proper balance between characters pertaining to who you want to focus on the most/least what do you MEANNNNNN you found the most gorgeous words and turns of phrase to make something sound Exactly write or get an Exact image into someones head like. HELLO ????????????????

dorry that got away from me i may be okay at writing but i am SO very fucking good at rambling every time without fail amen <3

anyways more importnatly GOOD EVENING I LOVE U SO SO SO FUCKING BAD I SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY WENT 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 & then powercry emoji x2345987345 like man. MAN.

onto the next few thousand 😁😁😁 <- words of someone who would KILL to be able to accomplish this tone and such in So Many Fewer Words but who does Not Know How To Do That so ten hundred billion words it is 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THANK U FOR BEATING UP THE BURNOUT I RLY NEED IT like its barely gotten in the way yet ive taken enough breaks given myself enough time it is just SO FRUSTRATINGGGGGGGGGGG knowing that i need those breaks and need that time like why am i not allowed to just be the specialest person in the whole wide world who never burns out ever hm? hmmm? do i not deserve it have i not suffered enough

not to be soooo silly but i genuinely cannot express how much it means to me and how much it has meant to me from the very first little comment that you just. IDK IDK IDK. you care so much and you're so fucking NICE about it and so passionate about it and EVERY single time we ramble about ANYTHING it inspires and pushes me so much and i love love love talking to you and like. u simply did not need/do not need to be constantly so fucking sweet and encouraging and wonderful about everything all the time ever but then you Are and then i die and and and <- maybe its a good thing i didnt try forcing myself to write too much this morning if this is the way im wording things today 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 idk it is just. ily so bad and i am so so happy and grateful every time i see u in my silly little inbox and to this day i owe u my Life for the thoughts that u have brought to my silly little brain and

yeha. yeah. yeah. Yeah. explodes into a billion pieces

#parasocial bestie tag #DORRYYYYYYYY MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED RN IDEK WHY :SOB: <- girl who has written so many thousand words the past week

[summersareknives]

ess! <3

last night i went stargazing to see that comet that hasnt been visible since 50,000 years ago and it was pretty cool. the moon was out & i saw sirius too so i took a pic of them together #wolfstar5EVERRR

ur so right james would absolutely use duolingo to learn french for reg. that man is WHIPPED hed do anything for him.

tay time! you belong with me, style, & london boy <3

chat chat!

timmy and flo my absolutely beloveds. i think id probably watch anything theyre in (except maybe dont worry darling, even if it feels like a "movie". idk maybe its hilarious.)

tourists piss me off SO much sometimes. especially when theyre taking pictures of random shit like. clouds or trees. girl you dont have clouds or trees where you live???

i think a lot of cats are predisposed to be heinous bitches tbh. i can always count on my cats to be blunt when i need them to be <3

and wait blaise/luna.... i kinda love this too. adding those fics to my tbr, ty <3 i have another fic rec, lessen my load by moonymoment (wolfstar muggle au, remus finds sirius having a breakdown in a laundromat cause he put a red glove in his white wash)

if u do end up trying out the incest chronicles, giving u a fair warning that the first books are like so cringey. they were written in 2007-onwards and u can definitely tell. theyre def not for everybody but the prequel/sequel series are SO good. but godspeed anyways.

ben barnes in podg is SO sirius idk what it is abt him hes great. when people use his scenes in edits with sirius i eat it up every damn time.

handing in ur paper 8 mins before its due? u know what, u deserve a drink for that. drunk procrastinators never miss fr.

and yes im very excited to read that whenever u get around to writing it! no pressure ofc take your time <3

and damn ROYAL butter? okay i understand now. 4 tubs is very fair. and TOBLERONE on god is one of my fav chocolates. second maybe to terrys chocolate oranges imo.

dancing in the kitchen to jazz does sound super peaceful. sometimes moments like that feel like theyre straight out of a cute little movie and it makes life feel a little happier <3

please try poutine. its so good. and ur right jello salad is a crime. feels like a hate crime tbh.

colourful cars will always have my heart fr. leaving a tip after being driven around is a good idea maybe i should start doing that.

ill let u know when ive started the apprentice, im excited to see the hyde guy now. and kim kardashian lady too.

platonic soulmates>>> i think we lucked out with our best friends. lu walking through the rain for ur turnover? i love that sm. ur right L names do have some spice in them.

and yay geoguessr! i was shit at first too. but i got sucked in and like studied license plates and fucking road lines and signs so id be good. it aint much but its honest work. (i graciously thank u for the apple turnover. ur too kind)

i hope i dont have a gay realisation superpower. thats like having anti rizz. everyone whos liked me turning out to be gay? like yes im glad i could help but. as long as my soulmate likes me ig.

i love ur james fc sm. i love that theres so many different james fcs too like hes just everywhere <3 andrew & ben will always be remus & sirius but at the same time, they still dont look quite like how i imagine them to be. i think likeafunerall's art is as close as anything has ever gotten to them so ig theyre just too pretty in my mind for a real human to look even close to them. good for them.

and HUGH! hugh and lil timmy tim are like the only PERFECT fcs in my mind. everyone else has some wiggle room but not evan and reg. theyre just perfect.

ur so lucky to be a gryffindor. how does it feel to live my dream??

orpheus & eurydice </3 "if u must die, let love be the reason why" ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME?????? ill never get over them ever.

tbh i think soldiers are cool af. i saw a tiktok that said sirius would be the soldier (remus = poet, james = king) so thats also cool .

and no way u were listening to work song . i listened to that like 10 mins ago. hozier my beloved <3

athena kids are cool as hell. like go off smartypants! but yes raising the dead sounds cool too. idk what id use that power for cause i definitely dont need an undead army to fight for me so. maybe i can use it to talk to like. julius caesar or something.

tay NEVER MISSES!!!

and yes bowie for LIFE. also knee socks>>>> love that song sm. AM changed my life too. HS1 def altered my brain chemicals too (i got to see him in concert. it changed my life fr)

erudite !!!! <3

and yes its barbaric as fuck. if ive learned anything from studying ancient history its that humans have always been fucked up. so thats always nice.

silver jewellry is so cool . goes so well with my black leather jacket & docs cause im nothing if not channelling sirius black energy into my appearance at all times <3 u loving gold cause its expensive is so real. like yes its bougie as hell. and? also v gryffindor of u. cause its gold. u just need to wear red and ur set.

ur right tay does have that range. still love lana but she just has an overall darker tone which isnt always the vibe. miss taylor never misses.

LISTEN IM SORRY!!!! I LOVE CRUEL SUMMER SM. theyre both completely tied for me but i was just in a dont blame me kinda mood ig.

and yes the great war is very much a cr song. theres a chapter named the great war so its just a lot. so heartbreaking but SO beautiful. but my tears ricochet <3 like u know what taylor, ur right. i DIDNT have it in myself to go with grace.

lilac candles <3 theyre so nice. and yes. it did smell like piss. not sure what i expected tbh. but yeah

slow walkers are the worst and i agree people blocking hallways????? so annoying. especially when they walk slowly in these big groups that span the width of the hall and theyre too busy talking to notice EVERYONE trying to get by. UGHHH

having 2 middle names is so cool i wish i had 2 tbh.

on GOD that hc kills me. every time i watch poa i think of it and i get so sad.

i love winter sm too. personally im an autumn girly but winter is a close second. i love the festiveness sm <3

i loved chemistry too. yes i did drop it for bio cause im shit at math and bio has less numbers but idc it was still fun. and we do NOT talk about physics i hate that subject with my whole heart.

id pick hogwarts too honestly. i just wanna be magic u know.

and a coin collector thats so cool. i love unique coins sm. we had some here in canada a while ago that had the northern lights on them and GLOWED IN THE DARK (pic here)!! they were so cool i think i still have a few.

cardigan has my heart. but i think if i had to pick id choose mirrorball BUT only because i personally relate to it more. cardigan will forever be more heartbreaking and ofc, i cant listen to it without thinking abt wolfstar so.

a fellow erudite! we're superior for sure i just know it.

unicorn is such a good choice. theyre so cool and being able to grant wishes would be so fun. i think id choose a phoenix cause theyre fiery and cant die. also cause i change my appearance all the time so in a way its like a phoenix rising from the ashes all funky and brand new.

the vibes in the 50s was so cool i agree (minus the racism sexism and homophobia fuck that shit!!!!) . all i want in life is to go to a cute little 50s diner and drink milkshakes and listen to 50s music. i would love to go to ancient rome or greece but purely for the vibes and aesthetic tbh. id hate to go there cause im a woman and women werent generally considered people in the greek world </3 especially ancient athens, women were discouraged from leaving the house & if they did they had to cover their entire body head to toe. (to preserve their dignity and whatnot). i personally like a little more freedom than that so, no thanks <3

ur ideal first date>>>> literally perfect ideas. ESPECIALLY the bookstore i just love the idea of a cute lil bookstore date. & of course just walking and talking i feel like is so necessary to get to know someone yk?

being rejected from netball and taking it as a personal attack i feel u so hard. id be pissed if that happened to me.

and game night! monopoly game night sounds so fun. i actually cant play monopoly anymore cause i get so competitive and it makes me mad and it pisses everyone off LOL so ive been banned. i do love me some chess though.

art <3 omg have fun on saturday that sounds awesome. the closest art gallery to me is pretty lame most of the time which sucks cause i only get to see cool art when i travel which isnt a whole lot lmfao. cafe terrace at night is such a gorgeous work of art. i love van gogh sm. my mom is actually a painter and van gogh is her fav artist so she paints van gogh recreations its pretty cool.

answering qs!~

ideal first date: either art gallery or museum. there is nothing in this world i love more than art and history and humanity so being able to see it with someone i like & being able to infodump random fun facts about history would be the dream. ofc we have to stop at a bookstore (ideally we pick out books for each other cause i love that idea its so cute) and stargazing. i love the stories behind the constellations so its always fun to talk abt them.

rep vs lover: i think lover. its just so good and the vibes are astronomical. dont get me wrong i adore rep too but i think rep is better for when im feeling vengeful <3

hozier vs am: god this is so hard but i think im gonna have to say hozier. hes just such an incredible songwriter and his music i swear i can feel it in my BONES its so visceral. his lyrics rip me apart too theyre just so good.

i dont play sports. in general i hate sports and physical activity (except i do on occasion fuck up a game of badminton) i used to be a dancer and gymnast but that was a long time ago. i did a bit of volleyball when i was like. 11? 12? but i hated it.

fav board game: prob settlers of catan! idk what it is about it but i love that game. i love chess too but i get too competitive sometimes so.

take me to church vs work song: work song. "no grave can hold my body down, ill crawl home to her" ARE U KIDDING???? such a perfect song. i love tmtc so very much too. "i was born sick" hits different when ur a closeted little kid whos figuring life out

fav season: autumn forever. i just love the vibes and the temperature is usually perfect, not too hot not too cold. cozying up with a sweater and tea and a book is all i need. ofc winter is a close second cause christmastime.

fav food: probably pasta. my dad is from italy so i eat a lot of pasta. bolognese, chicken cacciatore, & penne alla vodka are personal favourites & my comfort foods.

fav marauder hc: i have a few random ones i love, like that james sings really loudly in the shower, that sirius was left handed (bc im left handed and i say so), also that regulus would be a black cat if he was an animagus. hes just got sm little black cat energy i love him. also lily being a night owl & james being an early bird, lily getting annoyed cause james is TOO happy in the early morning and shes just done w him.

one ship i hate: i HATED dorcas/peter in atyd. i know it was written way before dorlene got really popular but it was still such a jumpscare to read. also i know a lot of people seem to like them but regulus/remus?? personally no thanks. i can see why theyd be cute but sirius is the ONLY one for remus imo. i much prefer regulus and remus to be besties and talk shit ab sirius together cause they love him <3

patronus: ive done the test a few times and ive gotten rattlesnake, grey owl, & raven. personally i wouldve loved a cat but sadly no

favourite piece of art: ive got a few actually ( i love art sm.) loch lomond by gustave dore, wheat field with cypresses by van gogh, and hygieia by gustav klimt❤️

ginny or luna: luna. i love ginny SM but luna was my fav character as a kid so she has my heart. i also have her wand so its only fair i pick her <3

favourite restaurant: probably this one thats out in the city, theyve got the BEST gyoza ive ever had in my life. and they make good martinis so. but you cant go wrong with mcdonalds late at night when u need something greasy. also dairy queen (do u have those in the uk? i feel like theyre just in north america) has some good ass ice cream sundaes.

fav beverage: i love coffee, iced coffee to be specific. root beer and cream soda too. red sangrias and espresso martinis are top tier too.

qs for u!

whats one song ur convinced was written abt u?

patronus?

if u could only listen to 1 song for the rest of ur life, which song would u pick?

if u could have a superpower, which one would u want?

messy or organized?

favourite candy/chocolate/sweet?

if u could meet one dead historical figure, who would u choose?

take me to church vs work song.

whats your go-to hype songs when ur getting ready/going out?

fav type of weather?

fav thing youve ever dressed up as for halloween?

thats all for now! till next time <3

-bee

bee hi ! I thought you'd abandoned me , and I'm so glad you're back , I missed you !!!

OH MY GOD ??? you were star/comet gazing ??? that's so cool and so sirius of u !!! (also yes , take the photo , even the universe ships them, wolfstar 5ever.)

YES !!!! get u a man who learns French like James Potter would for regulus black !!! he is amazing , stellar , the one , the only , there is no one like him.

tay tay time !!! -

you belong with me - JEGULUS - I can see it as wolf star too , but I'll give it to regulus. like an au where reg and sirius and James were all best friends , and reg had a little crush on mr James the jock , but him having a gf , and regulus being all 'you belong with me' THEM

style- JILY- this could go for literally so many ships. like wolfstar , jily, anything. I chose jily , simply because i feel that just like the hook , james and lily never go out of style. and also lily would ask him about reg , and he would tell her the whole truth & nothing but the truth. in a muggle au i totally see them as on and off and on and off until they’re finally on again and this time it sticks forever.

london boy - WOLFSTAR - listen , I know remus is welsh (or half , at least) so I think of him meeting sirius in an au in some au , and being all 'DIMPLE' 'ACCENT' 'GOD I LOVE THE ENGLISH' (au/oneshot idea??) 'in the pub watching rugby with his school friends ??? yes yes yes , them them them !!! so them , I could cry !!!

chatting time <333

I too would watch anything and everything. save dwd , its reviews are terrible and I cba to check for myself.

'girl you don't have clouds or trees where you live ?' HOWLING THIS IS SO FUNNY. and true , honestly. what's so English and special about our clouds and trees?? if u show someone back home will they go 'ahh yess , this is an English cloud , native to the England !'

cats just tell it like it is. it's just the truth. cats for the win , I love cats u love cats we all do. we are humans and they're gods.

ik ik blaise/luna is a funny little side pairing and I love them they're actually so cute!!! (the fics are dhr and drarry so do take care of that !! but they're there. I love the little hints.)

LESSON MY LOAD OH MY GOD !!!! ON MY LIST , DOWNLOADED. (I love the sound of it. very interesting. I would also cry because of a red sock. I WOULD SUE. SUE.)

cringey series. hmm. I think I'll take a crack. I've braved through wattpad , I can brave through this too. I am a soldier after all.

IT'S THE SMILE I'M TELLING YOU IT'S THE SMILE. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM ,,, IT'S JUST SIRIUS.

drunk procrastinators forever !! (me because I have an exam in 45 minutes and I'm writing this rn instead of doing last minute revision ! but at least Lu's coming to pick me up !!!!! drivers r so good for ur health.)

I'm excited to write it. but I must get ahead with my writing of doa and sito. I'M SO EXCITED. it shall hurt ! it is fake/secret dating ! it is the bet trope !

IT'S ROYAL BUTTER INDEED. I have no idea why I felt the need to do that. but we shall march on and ignore the royal butter in the fridge.terry's chocolate oranges stay winning though >>> (did u see that video of the American/australian BITING into one ?? I almost cried like what the fuck u bitch u should be banned from Europe for this crime) TOBLERONE. MY DRUNK ARSE WANTED TOBLERONE. so does my sober arse though. so fair. fair. I see u drunk me. I see u.

it's so peaceful. straight out of the movie . (especially because it was raining too) and he was laughing whenever I stepped on him , and it was so sweet and ahhhhh !! try it , 'tis a remedy for all the types of pain ever !!! get u a best friend (liz would do it maybe ?) and dance. just dance , quite literally !!!!

jello salad is a hate crime. war crime. whoever created it should go to hell. with the salad. (I WILL BE TRYING POUTINE. IT SOUNDS SO GOOD OMG.)

colourful cars >>>> (remember to only do one cent. after all , they should be happy to have you in their car. really , you're doing them the favour.)

yes!!! lmk !!! I must know your opinions on them !!!

I keep getting like 3.2 km away from the actual answer and it's so annoying. like I'm sorry I guessed Ithaca and not buttfuck , usa.

WE DID LUCK OUT WE DID. they're actually the best people ever. no one will ever be better than them.(though , they lucked out too.) L NAMES 5EVER. LU AND LIZ 5EVER ACTUALLY !!!!!

LMFAO NOT THE ANTI-RIZZ.ur soulmate will like u !! I know they will !! and u have liz for now !! let's vibe and be drunk with our L best friends !! romantic love will come in its own time :))))) (also for me when I liked Victoria , it was me being like 'is she gay/queer/likes women ??? and then it was like - she did. but I found that out because she had a girlfriend. and she's kind of a bitch now that I don't like her. I hope she fails her exams , damn.)

omg likeafuneralls art is fucking magical !! I worship the art so much. I was actually thinking of printing them out and sticking them up on my wall !!!! and yes , so many James fcs !!! (my James is my personal favourite , but I'm biased) I adore all of them !!! (and omg I so get not having an fc too !! they're just ethereal .... no human will ever be good enough for them.)

HUGH AND TIMMY TIM TIM >>>>>>>>>> (I love them sm sm they r my heart. did u see the Apple TV ad where Timmy sees Gary Oldman ?? look it up you'll get what I mean.)

DUDE ME NEITHER. WE CAN BE SAD OVER THEM TOGETHER !!!!!! ( I was secretly trying to kill you, u figured out my plan !!!)

DID YOU SEE LIKEAFUNERALL’S ART OF THIS EXACT SITUATION?????? IT’S SO GOOD (she has soldier sirius , poet remus & king james)

WORK SONG MAKES ME CRY A LOT. "no grave can hold my body down , I'll crawl home to her" has been engraved into my brain. ENGRAVED I TELL U.

if u talk to caesar ask him how he felt before he died. was it like a Jesus style betrayal??? like did he at least get a little kiss before ??

tay I love tay tay changed my LIFE.

BOWIE BOWIE (STARMAN STARTS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND) knee sock was so funny because when it started playing yesterday , I was wearing my knee socks under my t-shirt dress , and lu was wearing his sky blue Lacoste ??? like Alex turner was watching us fr fr.

here's my concert story - my best friend went to the 1975 concert. and he went , and he came back , and he said 'Matty had a special guest on tonight' and I was like 'who' and then he whipped out a tissue and gave it to me and was like 'Taylor' I SOBBED. SOBBED. (also will harry ever stop touring??? is he not tired??? and also I'm pretty mad at him for the 'never leave America' thing. bitch forgot where he came from.)

eruditessssss!!!

at least we're a different kind of fucked up now though ! that's good !

u r so very sirius. I dress in red and gold a lot , actually?? but I have a lot of colours. rn I'm in white and green !!! I love gold jewellery with all my heart it just hits different for me <33333

u better love cruel summer. but I SO GET BEING IN A dbm mood , because that's so real. poison ivyyyyy now I'm your daisyyyyyy.

bro now I'm scared. now my timbers have been shivered. (I'm on chapter two still for reference.) I LOVE LOVE LOVE . (and I heard them stolen lullabies all right)

gonna go buy one from the big Tesco 2nite , now you've convinced me. (Rome , the great city. of piss. and gladiators. but mostly piss.)

HALL BLOCKERS WILL GO TO HELL knock them bitches over like do u even know how many times I've been late because of them ??? little bastards.

two middle names is kinda fun actually. I can go by them if I won't (I don't want) and I just have more names in my name , yk?? ( one middle name is ALSO cool btw. )

it makes me cry a lil. (professor lupin???? no , uncle moony !!!!)

winter for me , because in England , even when it's summer , it's winter !!! (also thank u for calling it autumn , not fall.) BUT I LOVE AUTUMN TOO , PUMPKIN LATTES ARE STELLAR !!!

I have my chemistry exam tomorrow !! and I do bio too unfortunately. (I have the bio exam today. I feel queasy. ) BUT YEAH FUCK PHYSICS FUCK NEWTON FUCK ELECTRICITY !!!!!

I so get u bee , I too just wanna be magic.

eruditessssss!!! erudite erudite erudite !!!!

I love coins omg. I want them all. I'm on the lookout for the paddington one , and I feel it in the air. I think I'm very close to it. (also glow in the dark ??? that's so cool???)

nah , I get relating to a song so hard. I too relate to songs. ( u relating to mirrorball is so fucking real of u. so real.)

YES PHOENIX !!!! AND U CAN HEAL BASILISK TEARS TOO , DON'T FORGET !!!!! (unicorns>>>>)

I know , if not for the racism and other shit , I'd so visit the '50s. honestly , the old-times vibes and the dinners and just- ahhhhh. (damn misogyny is everywhere.that fucking sucks I hate that sm)

I KNOW I KNOW. the bookstore thing is so so so cool for me. (closest I've ever come is the grocery store at night with lu , but also we were drunk and also we bought so so so many things) and yes!! just chatting and laughing and having fun and - being , yk???

I did take it hard. I took it so hard. (I scored , but I still didn't get in?? well bitch damn I hope u lose every single game !!)

getting competitive with monopoly is something different (I've stolen some money before , and now I'm not allowed to be the banker !! so that sucks.) I'm going to learn chess one day. I will. I want to play. I shall learn it.

OMG SISGDLIWQHVDJLWQVCBX your mom sounds so cool???? Van Gogh recreations ??? I salute her she sounds fucking amazing (cafe terrace at night is just it for me. I love it. I even have a notebook with it on the front !!!)

---- I'm taking a break from answering because I have to go do a fuckin exam now give me a second ----

back now lmfao totally fucking flunked fuck biology & fuck life , but at least my arse is being warmed and i’m listening to taylor. (i think i’m being driven to the bakery. i think. he won’t say anything. but we’re not going home for sure.)

YOUR MOM JUST GETS IT FR FR. van gogh is my favourite artist too , so she understands. he a tortured soul me a tortured soul. done & dusted.

reviewing your q’s

OMG THAT’S SO CUTE ????? I’M IN TEARS ????? that’s so romantic omg i hope u get that one day i really really do.(feel free to info dump on me anytime.) AND YESSSS ART AND HISTORY AND HUMANITY STAY WINNING ALWAYS (my favourite art museum is tate and fave history one is the natural history museum in central london i love it so so much.) AHHH OMG PICKING OUT BOOKS FOR EACH OTHER ??? (and annotating them and talking about them and showing each other and oh my god romance romance 💘) I LOVE CONSTELLATIONS TOO. as an ex-astronomy student , i understand the stories and fucking love info-dumping about them. (lu has been the unfortunate victim of most of this dumping.)

rep for when you are in ur rep era is so real. I need that album for killing and revenge and shit. lover is the vibe i want my life to feel like , so i’d pick lover too.

HOZIER IS IN MY BONES. I TOO WANT TO CRAWL OUT OF MY GRAVE. I TOO WANT TO WORSHIP AT SOMEONE’S SHRINE. I TOO WANT TO BE THE ANGEL OF SMALL DEATH AND THE CODEINE SCENE!!!!!! hozier > am (i love am too though don’t get me wrong they’re bae<333)

i hate physical activity too , mate. . I LIKE BADMINTON TOO SOMETIMES THAT SHUTTLECOCK IS FUN TO BAT AROUND. (only sometimes.) all i shall do is watch lu do his sports. i shall do nothing else. (hating sports is so valid of us !!!)

take me to church hits different but work song >>> no grave can hold my body down FUVKING CHANGED MY LIFE. i will rise from the dead for my other half when i die.

u described it so right , autumn is like that. just right. very remus of you , methinks. BUT CHRISTMAS FOR THE WIN , I’M SORRY !!!

ooh , an italian *does the hands* (sorry but you know i had to) you said a lot of pasta i will have to now eat. i will eat all of them. me , personally , my dad is portuguese a so i got a fucking range of food when i was a kid . like francesinha , bacalhau , caldo verde >>>> (sandwich , fish , soup in that order. all vv spicy.)

HE SO HAS THAT BLACK CAT ENERGY. regulus black is a black cat 2023 spread the word. as a shower singer , i vv much agree james would do that. oooh sirius is a left-hand. yk what i actually like that one . JILY AGENDA WHERE SHE’S THE SLEEPY ONE AND HE’S THE GET UP AND GO ONE <3333

I too do not much rate the dorcas/peter. it’s surprising now especially because of the dorlene and how i think they’re perfect for each other. so obviously , i don’t want them to get with anyone else . and reg/remus ??? that’s odd. i might be hoodwinked into reading a one-shot here & there but nothing more than that.

rattle snake , grey owl and raven ??? that’s a slytherin if i ever saw one. (also ravenclaw potential tbh.) and what a range of animals ??? fabulous.

I LOOKED AT THEM AND OH MY GOD THEY’RE SO GOOD ???? I LOVE THEM TOO NOW DAMN THEY’RE FABULOUS.

u have luna’s wand. i am very jealous rn. (love ginny but i agree with your decision to pick luna. i love her too much to pick anyone else.)

gyoza sounds so good. i could really go for some rn. (late night mcdonalds SMACKS.) and no we don’t have dairy queen in the uk. is that like an ice cream thing ?? sounds like that?? i want to try that now.

iced coffee >>>> AND OH MY GOD THERE’S THIS SODA AT THE CORNER SHOP ‘BARRS CREAM SODA’ I GET IT SO OFTEN IT’S MY FAVOURITE FIZZY DRINK EVER AHHHH. (i need 2 try sangria. i need to. ‘tis on my list.)

my q’s. -

this is me trying . there’s probably more that I can’t think of rn , but this is me trying. I am this is me trying. i used to be the one gifted kid who got rlly high scores without trying and now i have to do twice as much work for a fucking B. which is annoying. but yeah! ( I might tell u more if I remember them next time.)

black swan! i think that’s pretty cool actually !!!!

my tears ricochet. (or cruel summer) but if i had to choose , my tears ricochet. EVERY FUCKING TIME. ‘STOLEN LULLABIES OOOWIWOHOOO’

shapeshifting !! i think i’d love to shapeshift. it’d be so fun , i’m a snake , i’m a lion , i’m an old woman , i’m a muscle man. FUNNNN.

messy as fuck. 90% of the time my socks come back from the wash and at least one is missing at all times. fucking dk where they go man.

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SOMETHING HERE.okay , terry’s chocolate orange & smarties. I fucking LOVE smarties (& toblerone of course , we mustn’t forget the Toblerone.) AND ALSO JAFFA CAKES. CANNOT CHOOSE ONE.

SHAKESPEARE. need 2 ask about the ‘fair youth’ and also about his wife & about his plays and ahhhh. i love his plays sm and i just really would love to meet him<333

work song. i love take me to church sm , but work song . why??? “NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN , I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER.”

promiscous , worth it , one look , knee socks , jealous (nj) , & …ready for it ? THESE ARE CLASSICSSSS . HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MIX.

snow. by far. love making snowmen , n dressing them up and snowball fights. love it so so so much.

i did lady macbeth (n lu was macbeth) at a halloween party once!! I loved it vv much the fake blood and the scorpion prop , and the crown i made for lu. very realistic. (second is it and georgie. u know who it was and who georgie was. take a guess .)

q’s for u -

fuck marry kill - lily , pandora , marlene.

fuck marry kill - regulus , barty, evan.

what do you love spending money on ?

tell me one inside joke you have with liz (or just anyone, i only assume you’d have more with liz)

one weird fear you have?

weirdest dare you’ve taken in a game of truth or dare?

worst random impulse buy?

your favourite quote ever ?

your favourite quote from a fic ?

ever met a celeb ? (which one if yes?)

favourite snack ?

do u have a crush on anyone ? (skip this one if you don’t want to answer it & I’m terribly sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable!!!)

Who knows you best ?

lover (the song) vs getaway car?

all time favourite moment in your life ?

what’s your favourite moment with liz ? (curious to cut into that bff dynamic)

r(egg) or r(edge)?

do you speak any other languages (except english)?

bee bee bee <333 until next time , my friend. come back soon , or else i’ll start worrying.

#ess water a plant #bee <33 #ess’s marauders x ts crossover

[cellophaine]

hi hi !! congrats on 1k ! ur an amazing writer and i’m so happy 4 u !! i was wondering if you could write something about smut and matt murdock comforting an insecure fem!reader ?? maybe reader hasn’t really had good experiences with sex before and matt wants to reassure reader that he thinks she’s beautiful and sexy. def add some praise kink in there too ❤️‍🩹

No Judgement

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut. Smut. Smut. Do I need to say more?

Author's Note: The last request for my 1k event! I'm so so sorry for taking so long! I don't know why but I struggled quite a bit with this one. I hope you'll enjoy this mess anyway! :)

Thank you for your kind words! 🖤

GIF is not mine

You were nervous. So very nervous. But you did your best not to show it, not now when Matt's face buried between your thighs; his tongue delivered broad stripes along your slit. His hands held your flesh; his fingers carved a faint pattern onto your skin. He lapped at your clit with just enough pressure that made your skin prickle. But, truth be told, you would feel that a lot more if you weren't so tense.

You stared at the ceiling, counting the wood planks, paying extra attention to their colours while your mind strayed. You felt like you should be doing something instead of just lying there, letting Matt do all the work. Should you arch your back more? Should you moan louder? Higher? Would that be too much? Should you grab his hair? Would he like that?

You were so lost in your head, focusing on how to sound good, trying to convince Matt. You didn't notice how he had pulled away; the sensation you felt was only a vanishing trace on your skin.

"Should I stop?"

You propped yourself on your elbows to see Matt hovered between your thighs with a worried look embedded on his face.

"No … no! I love it! Keep going."

Heat rose to your cheeks as the embarrassment settled in your flimsy act. Your halfhearted moans and apathetic enthusiasm failed to persuade Matt. You'd never had that problem before.

"I feel like you're not into it."

"No, no I–"

"You know we don't have to do this if you don't want to, do you? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with me."

His words struck a chord in you. This was something … new. Your experience with sex hadn't been the greatest as your partners always focused on themselves rather than you. As a result, you left those fleeting endeavours feeling unsatisfied more often than not. Eventually, you gave up. Until now.

"It's just … I …. "

Sitting up, you hugged your legs to your naked body, suddenly feeling shy. Matt sat opposite of you; his body language was open and welcoming. You could feel his imploring attention on you, patiently waiting for you to continue. You took a deep breath, feeling the need to hide from Matt slowly vanish in the secured embrace of his patience and thoughtfulness.

"I haven't been intimate with anyone in a long time. My experience with sex involving another person hasn't been ... the best. I've had more luck on my own, to be honest. So, I'm just nervous …."

You trailed off as his brows arched in surprise and curiosity. You couldn't help but let the rest of the sentence fall through the gap between your lips.

"… because I like you a lot."

That part pulled an adoring smile on his face, making the crinkles around his eyes deepen.

"I like you a lot, too."

He searched for your hand, pulling it to his lips, adorning a tender kiss on your knuckles.

"You are the most beautiful, wonderful, sexy woman I've ever met ...."

Each trait was punctuated with a press of his lips on your skin.

"... and I want to show you how much I mean that, no matter how long I have to wait. I'll wait forever if that's what you want. We will do this at your pace."

His determination and respect for your boundaries unlocked something inside of you. Even though you knew being considerate should have always been the necessary minimum, it was rare these days. People tend to move on like leaves changing throughout the season, never the same, always quick to move on. It was just that easy.

You crawled forward to meet him, attaching your lips to his. Matt's hand ran up and down along your arm gently. Then, you pulled away; your voice was barely a whisper on his lips.

"I want to do this with you. Please?"

He nodded before giving you a chaste kiss.

"How about I help you relax first?"

Matt guided you to sit down as he went behind you, having your back facing him. His hands descended on the muscles on your shoulders, easing the knots and tension in your body. Soft purrs escaped your lips as you enjoyed the attention he bestowed on you.

Then, you felt his plump along the curve of your shoulders. After each press of his fingers, his lips followed, accompanied by the small laps of his tongue. The act started something within you, stoking the simmering desire at your lower belly. You wanted more. And that was what you asked of him.

"Tell me immediately if you aren't comfortable with anything."

You nodded numbly, needing the pleasure to be more, for it to envelope you whole. Matt's hands sneaked to your front; his fingers caressed the underside of your breast. You sucked in a breath at the brief contact before letting it go in relief as his large palms covered your supple flesh. The callousness of his hands created enticing friction on your skin, playing you and your muddled mind like a musician composing a beautiful ballad with you as his muse. He worked you up, his fingers pinched your nipples, his lips found your earlobe, delivering kitten licks to the shell. Your hands gripped the sheet, your back bowed slightly as you didn't feel like you could hold yourself up on your own. You leaned into him, seeking out his warmth for more skin-on-skin contact. Matt brought your back to press against his front with his hands on your breasts; the teasing touches didn't cease in the change of movement.

Matt moved his hand downward, skimming past your belly button to settle on your folds. His deft fingers teased your entrance, circling in a delicate pattern. He found your clit, pinching it between his digits, making you cry out. Your thighs clenched, desperate for more friction as you could feel the wetness within your pulsing wall. You threw your head back, moaning softly as you leaned fully into him. You trailed a hand down until it joined him at your weeping pussy. Pulling two of his fingers in your grasp, you pushed them inside with a blissful sigh. Your core was drenched with arousal, allowing his thick digits to slide in and out easily.

You fucked yourself with his fingers until Matt took over, pumping at a fast and relentless pace. His other hand tweaked your pebbled nipple, stimulating the sensitive points on your body, driving your mind into a sensory overload. Your nails dug into his thigh, but he didn't seem to mind the pain. His throaty groans and the occasional jerks of his hard cock against your back told you everything you needed to know.

He increased the pace, ramming his fingers into you, making you moan louder. You felt his hot breath on the shell of your ear as he whispered.

"Let go for me. I got you."

Your eyes rolled back, your thighs clenched, trapping his hand in between as you came. He kept going, carrying you through the high. The aftermath of the intense climax hadn't faded yet. Still, the only thing in your mind was this strong need to be even closer to him. You turned around, capturing his lips in haste. You wanted him to touch you, to feel what you felt through the desperation of your kiss.

"Need you, please. I need you, now."

He returned your feverish kiss, asking you under his breath.

"Are you sure?"

You nodded, almost cried out in frustration.

"Yes, yes, please."

The last word came out in a broken whimper. Matt wrapped his arms around you, laying you down on the mattress. His cock poked at your thigh, and you couldn't help but reach down to give it a gentle squeeze. He dropped his head on your shoulder, his body slightly trembling.

"There's a condom in the drawer."

You nodded, reaching for the foil packet as fast as you could. You rolled it on his length, giving the thick girth a few pumps. He pushed you to lay back; his hand searched for yours, squeezing reassuringly. Your body tensed up, not in discomfort but in anticipation.

Matt pushed in, inch by inch, so painfully slow. You loved the burn that only grew the more he took inside you. The buildup was long and agonizing as you felt like you could lose your mind with each inch. Then, he finally bottomed out after a little while, and you felt like you could finally breathe again. He filled you up to the brim, and all you could feel was how full you were. You looked at him; his long lashes fluttered softly on his cheeks, his lips parted to take deep exhales.

"You okay? How are you feeling?"

"G-good ..."

You couldn't trust yourself to speak anymore, as nothing more audible than slurred words and moans would come out. You stayed like that for a little bit, revelling in the feel of each other. You wrapped your legs around Matt's waist, the heel of your feet dug into his ass, urging him to move. At your silent plea, Matt pulled out, only to slam back in. It was slow at first, and you could feel every inch of his cock rubbing against your inner wall. The friction made your lips open slack, letting an incoherent string of moans fall. Matt whispered sweet nothings and praises to your ears between rough grunts and deep breaths.

"You're so tight. Doing so good for me. Taking me so well. Good girl."

You didn't know whether it was the way he said it or perhaps the intimacy of the praise that drew an unconscious reaction from you. You clamped down hard onto him as the words left his lips, making Matt choke out with a guttural moan.

"You like that, huh?"

The smirk on his face was not one of egotistical pride. It was the satisfaction of doing something right, of learning something new from you. And now that he knew, he would use it to his advantage.

You couldn't use your words. You could do nothing but cry out. Matt increased the speed, ramming into you. His hips hit your cervix repeatedly. The slapping sound of your skins blended in with the mix of his throaty groans resonated in your ears like a divine hymn that you were more than happy to sing out loud with your moans. Your head lolled to the side; the pleasure was too much for you to focus on anything. You were so fucked out that you felt like you weren't in control of your body anymore. Matt knew your body, signals, and needs even without asking you.

You bit on your bottom lip hard, feeling like you could draw blood as you felt conscious about your unrestrained moans. You reigned them in, muffling them in the cage of your throat.

What you hadn't anticipated was the evaporating pleasure at the pit of your stomach as Matt slowed down. His hand came to grip your jaw, pulling on your bottom lip to release it from your hold. He trained his eyes on yours, and even though his gaze missed the mark, you could feel the burning fire with a hint of warning behind them.

"Don't hold back. If you stop, I'll stop. Okay?"

Your body involuntarily shuddered at his demand. It spurred you on, making your head spin. It was impossible how much he turned you on simply with his actions and words.

"Speak up, sweetheart."

"Y-yes, I got it."

He rewarded you with a sharp thrust, turning your response into unfiltered cries of pleasure. He picked the pace up after a few strokes, not letting you catch a breath. Your loud moans bounced off the walls of his apartment, as Matt wished. You didn't hold back, surrendering yourself to him. His thrusts were frantic, ramming into that spot inside you repeatedly. You were close, and he knew that too. His hand squeezed yours, letting you know that you could let go. He would be here to catch you when you fell.

Your eyes rolled back as you were pushed over the edge. Your core clenched down hard on his cock, making the friction between you even more intense. His strokes were erratic and sloppy as Matt neared his end. Your arms winded around his shoulders, pulling him to you. You stroked his hair, unable to hold back the little delirious whimpers on the sweat-soaked skin of his shoulder. Matt came after a few pumps, his cock pulsing within your tight walls. Then, he slowed down the pace, basking in the drawn-out euphoria.

Matt dropped his head, pressing kisses along your sweaty hairline. He fell onto his elbow, giving you a deep kiss while still throbbing inside. He put his weight on the side, avoiding crushing you. You stared at the ceiling; your head worked to process what happened. You had a broad smile on your face, turning to the side where Matt was to find him mirroring you. You turned to lay on your side, facing him.

"So …"

"So …?"

You scrunched your nose, your voice drawled on in false consideration.

"Well, it was ... good. However, I need to see more before coming to the final conclusion."

His face morphed into a pretend disbelief.

"Oh? Was that not good enough for your insatiable appetite, sweetheart?"

He crawled over you; his hands found your side, tickling you. You squirmed, laughing out loud.

"This is unfair! I can't give my final verdict with little evidence provided."

You trained your voice to be serious, using what you would assume was Matt's language in the courtroom. You wondered if he noticed and if he liked it. From the amused lift of his brow, you could safely say he was more than enjoying it.

"Just a little? Let's see if you still think that in the morning ...."

Matt kissed your neck playfully, leaving soft bites on the sensitive skin. You sighed softly, arching your neck, inviting him to leave his marks.

"... 'cause I'm not anywhere close to being done with you tonight."

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[lilastromama]

Rating the Signs as big 3 Placements

(Sagittarius, Pisces, Leo, Virgo)

Sagittarius:

sun: whoopsie, i dont know. Most of them are really great to have conversations about mysterious and weird topics, like aliens and the universe as a whole, i enjoy that so lets put the positive stuff first. What im not enjoying on the other hand, is them being very competitive, even with their closest people. Also when theyre mad, they are gonna talk about u behind ur back and think of very evil and scary ways to get revenge, 6/10 tho

moon: i really do like sag moons. I think i mentioned this in one of my posts already, but: Theyre SO uplifting, supporting and caring! I really like how they always find a way to catch you when ure falling. Maybe theyre extremely stubborn and dont like being wrong in whatever aspects, but yeah, lets put that aside! giving them a good 8/10

rising: Sag risings are really to die for, not trying to be dramatic. Theyre extremely creative, also deep. My first take on sag risings is always "mhm, i dont think it would work out" and then boom, they show you their real persona and whats behind this mask. Really loveable creatures, they just seem a bit off. giving them 8/10

Pisces

sun: I dont like them. Listen here, im not trying to be a bitch and im not the person to feed into stereotypes, but with pisces suns its just TRUTH. they will try to hide their insecurities by acting confident, instead of actually trying to get better, what makes them come off as self centered and arrogant, even tho theyre not. Also most of the time, sorry not sorry, - theyre AWARE of the fact that theyre toxic but wont do shit about it because just sitting and being miserable sounds easier than actually digging into the dark parts of oneself. 3/10

moon: pisces moons are actually very sad to watch. Theyre more on the introvert side than the extrovert, u'd think theyre very quiet and private people. What most dont know about them tho, is that they live inside their heads and if u would take a look inside, u'd be surprised. Their head and mind is their own little world, their own little universe. Its chaotic, always moving. There is so much going on inside of them and if u get to know them, u will find out how deep and interesting they really are. Dear pisces moons, let us be part of your inner world and your beauty, dont hide. 8/10

rising: ohhhh HELL YES. Idk about you people, but to me, they have such a mystical, interesting look to them. Lagoona blue from monster high vibes and i said what i said. Very creative, also intuitive, maybe interested in the occult and so called "taboo" topics. Maybe theyre even activists, trying to help out and raise awareness where they can. Just as with pisces moons: they come off as private people, but probably would have an more interesting life story than most of us. 9/10

Leo

sun: Its a yes from me, but somehow a no, too. Leo women? GIVE IT TO ME! Leo men? well, only if evolved. What i like about leo suns is their confidence and the way they present themselves. U'd notice a leo sun everywhere they go, believe me there. If unevolved, they can be one hell to deal with, i gotta admit that (but also hella fun) - If evolved tho, theyre SUCH angels and actually very aware of themselves and their actions. Theyre the ones to push you to be the best version of yourself, i vibe with it. 9/10

moon: Its actually a yes too! Theyre so complex, hard to understand - but only if ure not open minded! To vibe with them, u have to be evolved - sorry not sorry. If not, theyre going to push you till you are. And that, not really in comfortable ways for you. They truly dont mean no harm and trying to help out, but its really not for all people, especially if ure sensitive. Keep an eye out i guess and let them do their job, u will thank them sooner or later. 9/10

rising: yeah, idk. To me, theyre fake leos and im not even sorry ☠️ They come off as leos, but not really in the same font. Instead, to me, theyre way worse! Its like those cheap nutella-copy products ur mom wants u to buy. To me they have more of the traits that virgo suns have. Perfectionists, egocentric, analytical but not in a good way - and always searching for something they can talk and gossip about. They constantly break down ur life instead of worrying about themselves and call it "trying to help" - (No darling, u just like putting ur 2 cents in that no one asked for) 5/10

Virgo

sun: once again a no, im sorry at this point :( Even tho i have to say, YES they seem very kind, caring, even supporting and accepting, but if u look closer, ure finding nothing of it all. They are always up everyones ass, as i mentioned in one of my posts aswell. Just like pisces suns, theyre making themselves something they arent. I actually believe they could be such great friends, they just have to better themselves and watch how theyre handling their own emotions. Both of them project their insecurities onto others and make it their problem to handle. Please, virgo and pisces at this point: Get ur hands dirty, do shadow work and you both are great to go! 4/10

moon: oh well, we're talking about me here (this doesnt better anything to be honest) - I feel like virgo moons are very, very serious when it comes to their own feelings and mind, theyre warding it from anything or anyone. Thats where i think they have something from scorpios: They want to know everything about you, but you cant know anything about them and if so, you probably get rejected sooner or later because it would be too dangerous to get hurt. Very analytical, skeptical and calculating people. We really need that emotional safety to actually come out of our comfort zone but IF we do, u'll get to know a new person! still complex tho- 8/10

rising: I dont wanna start a new stereotype but: Am i the only one that kind of noticed how virgo risings look like those pinterest-indie-kids? Its either that or the grunge kids u always see on instagram as an outfit inspo. Im actually invested! They really possess that motherly/caring vibe ure instantly familiar with and feel comfortable around, im a definitely a fan! 9/10

#astrology #astrology horoscope #astro notes #astrologie #astro community #astro observations #astro icons #astroworld #astroloji #horoscope #horoskop #sternzeichen #starsign #star signs #zodiac side of tumblr #zodiac #zodiac signs #my observations #virgo moon #virgo #sagittarius #leo #pisces #astrophysics #pisces rising #pisces moon #sagittarius rising #sagittarius moon #monthlyhoroscope #daily horoscope

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [4]  pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, slice of life, josei, angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right? Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, cliche fluff, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT)

Notes: lil development right there HAHSHSHHS , yes tojis appearing soon guYS hddhdhdh thank u for ur patience ily all and yall stay safe and drink lots and ltos of water!! sorry for the late update!

Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next] [updates; every saturday!]

You stare at the ring on your hand as you stand next to Nanami Kento in the grocery shop, you and him have agreed to see each other and go out once a week while fixing up the divorce papers. 

Last week you both had gone to a cafe after work but had to end early since Yuuji had fell down the stairs (despite being athletic, the boy was awfully clumsy). This week, you both decided to do something mundane.

Grocery shopping.

“Hm, what does Yuuji think about this?” You asked, showing the man some bars of rice krispies, “He seems to be a sweet-tooth.”

“Sukuna is the sweet-tooth, Yuuji isn’t really picky with food.”

“Huh,” You hummed,  “Sukuna seems so soft despite all the tattoo’s.”

Nanami rolls his eyes at your statement, “He’s just, as kids like to call these days, a nerd.” he retorts, taking the peanut butter off the shelf and carefully placing it in the grocery cart, “He enjoys mathematics and art,”

“Ah, hence the tattoo’s.” you thought out loud.

“I almost lost it when he went home a few months ago looking like that.” He sighs, running his hands through his hair, “It was a sign of rebellion, saying that he didn’t want to move to Tokyo.”

You chuckled, eyes on him, “Must’ve shot up your blood pressure, Kento.”

He clicks his tongue in dismay, the memory still fresh. Nanami Kento    unlike what Gojo Satoru said    was a very easy person to like and accompany. Ever since that ‘mild’ mishap two weeks ago, you’d have calls and little quick meet-ups aside from the once a week dates. 

At times it felt like the little wedding at the Izakaya hadn’t happened, it was as if you were just going out with him.

Nanami Kento didn’t even have to try so hard to make you comfortable, he was just...there and everything just seemed right. He had easily fit right in with your routine.

You continue to watch him and he stops in the middle of his tracks, blinking heavily, “Ah,” he mumbles, placing a hand over his eye.

“Oh,” you paused in your tracks too, “Are you alright, Kento?”

“Just dust,” He mumbles, “It probably got in.”

You hold back a laugh, how mundane, “Here, let me…”

You slowly take his hand away from his face, his eyes shut tight, trying to hold in the pain from the dust getting in his eyes, “Do you mind bending down a bit lower, Kento?” you ask, “I’ll have to blow it out of your eye.”

Nanami follows your orders and bends down. You slowly cup his cheeks and lean in closer to his eyes and softly blow. You notice the slight twinge of his body, the reaction making you inwardly giddy, “Feel better?” you whispered.

The older man opens his eyes and only then do you notice just how close you two were with each other. For a moment, movement around you is slow and you don’t even notice Maki Zen’in standing right in front of you along with Yuta Okkatsu.

“Sensei?”

You finally snap back to reality when you hear that very familiar voice calling you out. It seemed like Nanami had been caught up in the moment too, “Oh,” You cleared your throat, letting go immediately of Nanami’s face and jumping back, “Maki-chan.Yuta-kun. What a surprise.”

The young girl narrowed her eyes while Yuta’s ears were evidently red, signaling that he felt very embarrassed to walk in on that moment, “Hi sensei.” Yuta greets, clearing his throat, “I-uh sorry about that, I told Maki to walk away and-”

“It’s fine, Yuta-kun.” You laugh, a bit nervous. What would happen if she told Yuji and Sukuna about this? You knew how Maki was sort of close with the twins, although she did not know who Nanami was, she may describe him and if the boys were smart enough to catch on with it, you’d be entangled in it pretty quickly and you weren’t ready to meet them as their ‘oji-san’s’ partner. 

You were a bit nervous and it was showing.

Nanami takes quick notice of this and slowly wraps his fingers around yours, a small smile appearing on his lips, “Good afternoon, you must be my partner’s students.” he greets, the man had a way with younger ones, you could only imagine how he was as a father figure to the boys growing up,  “It’s nice to finally put some faces on the kids that Y/N loves to gush about.”

Unlike your nervousness a while ago, this man is calm, cool, and collected. You almost envy him at how good he’s doing this.

“At least you picked someone better than Toji-ojisan.” Maki nods, “This guy looks actually more serious with life than him.”

You feel Nanami’s brow quirk up at what she just said.

“A-Anyways, Sensei…” Yuta clears his throat, “We’ll leave you and your boyfriend together. See you at Math class tomorrow!” He hurriedly grabs Maki’s wrist and zooms away at a speed of light. Leaving you two awkwardly standing there.

“Toji?” Nanami asks, curiously peering at you, “An admirer, I assume?”

“Megumi’s otosan.” You mumbled, embarrassed, “He likes to play jokes and all that. It’s nothing serious.”

“Hm.” he mumbled, a small dismayed look crossed his features and you wonder why, “If he does anything uncomfortable, you can pull my name out. I wouldn’t mind.”

“I’ll be sure to take note of that.” 

You both continue your way down the grocery aisle, not even noticing that he still has his long hand wrapped around yours.

“Y/N-sensei…” Nobara drawled, placing her head on top of the wooden end of the mop, “How come we never knew you had a boyfriend?”

“Oi,” Megumi growled, “You’re supposed to be cleaning.”

“You’re just jealous that Y/N-sensei didn’t get to be your new okaasan.” Nobara bit back, putting her tongue out. You watched as the raven-haired boy chunk the blackboard eraser at her direction, a vein popping in his forehead.

“Stupid,” He replied, “I’d never let Y/N-sensei near the jiji.”

“What’s he like, Y/N-sensei?” Junpei asked, tapping his chin, cutting the argument short,  “I heard Maki-senpai talking about him.”

You watch as Yuuji placed his head on his best friend’s shoulder, “Yeah, she was telling me how older he looked than you.” he exclaimed, you nervously gulped down. Yuuji sure wasn’t helping the situation at all.

“Well,” You chuckled, trying to remain calm and oblivious, “He’s nice and he has kids.”

“Ha.” Sukuna droned, stopping whatever he was doing,  his punishment     despite not being given any by Nitta    was helping the cleaners clean for the whole week, much to his dismay, he had to follow or you’d be giving him a slip, “You’re dating an old man? I thought the reason why you didn’t date the Zen’in-jiji was because he was old and he had kids.”

“Oh.” you looked down on your books on the desk, embarrassed, “I don’t have a problem with kids. In fact, I’d love to meet them.”

“Wah,” Yuuji’s eyes were sparkling now as he hurried in front of you and placed his elbows on top of your table and head on top of his hands, “I hope I really get to meet someone like you, sensei.”

“Stupid, I doubt any sane person would want to go with you.” Nobara said across the room, making Yuuji glare at her and started teasing her.

You chuckled once again at their antics. Meanwhile Sukuna continues to stare at you, eyes narrowing especially at the ring on your ring finger. For some odd reason, it held quite the familiarity.

Yuuji likes to think that Nanamin is the best godfather out there, technically, he was like a father to them already. So he had always wondered why he never got married, he was sure that when they were out a few times, many women would crowd for their ojisan. 

His father’s very close friend, Haibara-ojisan had mentioned one fleeting moment back when he was babysitting them that Nanamin was very secretive on who he liked that even he didn’t know if he’d ever been in a relationship.

But things were different these days, for the past two weeks, he’d have one day wherein he’d go home later than usual. It was odd to say the least    and not like he minded really, they were high school kids after all     since Nanamin hated overtimes.

He mentioned it to Sukuna but his twin just rolled his eyes and said, “Man probably needs to chase the bag or something, he technically is paying for this nice house and two freeloaders here.” 

Yuuji doubted it though! Nanamin earned pretty well and he didn’t really need overtime since he was technically the boss or so he heard from Geto-ojisan a few nights ago.

So while he was making them some katsudon for dinner that night and Yuuji was doing some homework for your class, he decided to ask the question.

“Saaay, nanamin-ojisan…” he drawled, placing his pen down, “You’re coming home a lot later than normal these days…”

The older blonde turns to the younger twin, face still straight-lace and stoic, something that Yuuji was accustomed to, “Work has me by the neck.” he replies shortly.

“Every wednesday’s?” he quips, tilting his head to the side.

“Yes.”

“You aren’t dating anyone?”

Silence erupted between them, the only sound could be heard was the sizzling of the chicken on the pan, “What made you say that?” he asked stiffly and maybe, if Yuuji was ignorant, he wouldn’t have noticed the slight twitch of his brow but he wasn’t.

Yuuji prided himself to be an observant person, someone had said he could pass off to be a detective in the near future, he had the agility and the observation skills (sukuna said otherwise though and said he’d get himself killed if he were to ever enter that field)

“You sometimes have that weird look on your face when you look at your phone.” the boy pointed out, “But Sukuna says you’re just chasing the bag so maybe he’s right, he’s kind of the smarter twin after all.” he mumbles the last part with great disdain.

Nanami lowers the fire on the stove and places his hands on the counter in front of Yuuji, “What if I told you I was sort of seeing someone?” he mused, humoring the young boy. 

“Are you really?” Yuuji’s eyes widened, surprised written all over his features, “What are they like, Nanamin-ojisan? Are they pretty? Do they know about us?”

“Oi what’s the noise about?” Sukuna’s raspy voice cuts through Yuuji’s excited one as he enters the kitchen, hair still wet from the shower and in house clothes with a towel hung on his neck.

“I told you Nanamin-ojisan was seeing someone!” Yuuji yelled, eyes sparkling since he was right this time, he quickly returned his gaze back to the older man, “When do we get to see them? Are they nice? How’d you guys even meet?”

“You’re seeing someone?” Sukuna spat, eyes wide in complete surprise, “How’d you even get someone to stay around with your uptight attitude?”

“Yah!” Yuuji yells, “Nananmin-ojisan is nice with women unlike you, no wonder girls are very scared to approach you!”

“Shut up,” Sukuna grumbles towards his twin then turns towards his godfather, “How the hell did you even meet?”

Nanami just shrugs, telling them they’ll know soon enough as he returns to his cooking. The boys seemed to dislike his answer though and continued to bug him. After cooking dinner and having their fill, he returns to his room and whips out his phone, a text message from you saying, ‘hey, the boys asked me about you earlier. They heard from maki-chan.’

The blonde wonders if he weren’t drunk, would he even consider doing this sort of thing? Dating was really out of the question, he admits he isn’t in the right place to go out with anyone especially with a young person like you. 

He thinks he’s taking advantage of the power-dynamics since he’s older.

He doesn’t even deny how weird it was that you're still hanging around him especially when you had a far richer man as one of your admirers. Satoru may or may not have overhead Yuuji gossiping about you one time and your ‘relation’ with Megumi’s father, it was definitely a small world and judging from the Toji you had mentioned a few days ago, it wasn’t hard to connect the dots that it was actually Toji Zen’in, a member of one of japan’s high business clans.

He shakes his head before pressing the call button, it only takes a few rings until you answered, “Hey kento.” You greeted, “What’s up?”

He hears the sound of a whizzing electric mixer on the other line.

“Boys gave you trouble?”

“No,” he could almost feel the smile on your words, “They were just surprised I liked a man with kids.”

“I reckoned, Yuuji seemed to have caught up too in my side. Been asking why I’m going overtime.” 

Silence settled between you two for a moment and Nanami wonders if you’re scared out of your wits. You might be backing out this deal after testing those waters, “Maybe you should tell me when I could meet them then? We wouldn’t want them to run into us during one of our outings or when we’re fixing up the divorce.” you replied softly.

“Hm,” he mumbled, “I’ll be sure to ask them about that. For a temporary setting, you sure take this matter quite seriously, Y/N.”

“Well, I did say I’d help you out.” 

A small smile reaches his lips as he hears your small and shy voice. It seemed like having people to check up on you by the end of the day wasn’t so bad, after all.

taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]

; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil  ; @shephard17895  @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @bleepop ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @pettybroccoli ; @nixxona ; @kiyoo-omi ; @omibaby ; @bokkunto ; @peccobagnaia ; @sangwoahbigbussy ; @inu-makki ;  ; @megumiisee ; @softieelorelylove ; @azellianna ; @haruhuiii ; @restless-human67 ; @tsukkisfatsimp ; @taihjj ; @shayiswifey​ ;  @roione​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ; @katshuya ; ​@atsuhaya ;  @donotcallagain ; @answerthesirens

#jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #nanami x you #cigarettes and parfaits

[yesimwriting]

fic ideas i have that are either too much commitment or too chaotic for me to commit to :))

YALL PLS I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS I NEED TO LET GO OF SO I HAVE TO SAY THEM OUT LOUD TO EITHER PUT THEM ON HOLD OR LET GO OF THEM ENTIRELY 

IF YOU READ THIS LIST YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BULLY ME,, THERE’S A REASON IDEAS THAT ARE NOT WANTED ARE ON HERE OKAY 

--

1. a fic where the darkling and alina are lowkey fighting over the reader bc MY BISEXUAL HEART BEATS FOR BOTH OF THEM ALONE OKAY 

(LOWKEY JUST WANT TO TRY WRITING ALINA IN GENERAL BC I LOVE HER)

2. a beauty and the beast retelling that’s either kaz brekker (and SOC based) x reader or darkling (that’s shadow and bone based) x reader THATS TOO MUCH FOR RIGHT NOW I THINK,, IT’D BE SO EXTRA BC I LOVE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST STORIES OK

3. Anastasia au-ish/retelling with Kaz Brekker x reader THE SAME REASON IT’D BE SUCH A LONG SERIES BC IM OBSESSED WITH THE ANASTASIA STORYLINE--LOST PRINCESS FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE CRIMINAL TRYING. TO SELL HER AS A REAL PRINCESS?? PLEASE

4. IM EMBARRASSED OF THIS ONE YALL--lowkey think it would be fun to make a darkling x reader x kaz brekker love triangle FOR THE EXPERIENCE ALONE BC THEYRE BOTH SO DRAMATIC AND SIMPS AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE I KNOW THIS SOUNDS BAD BUT LIKE IMAGINE THE DARKLING BEING LIKE STAY HERE BUT KAZ IS TRYING TO GET U FOR A JOB (kinda like in the show but not) BUT THERE’S UNDERLYING FEELINGS --- THIS IS SO UNNEEDED BUT IN MY MIND BC OF THE AESTHETIC!! YALL KNOW IM A DRAMATIC BITCH 

5. Zoya x reader -- I HAVE NO GOOD PLOT FOR THIS BUT I LOVE HER

6. Genya x reader where the reader is insecure and is like hey genya can u fix this and then genya’s like shut up im in love with u and ur perfect BUT LIKE I FEEL LIKE THIS COULD BE TOXIC IDK I DONT TRUST MYSELF TO NOT PROJECT MY ED A LITTLE TOO MUCH 

7. A SERIES THAT CENTERS AROUND A PSYCHIC (NOT CANON BUT PLS THIS IS FROM MY MIND) WHO WORKS AT LIKE A CIRCUS AND KAZ COMES AND GETS HER FROM THERE FOR A JOB BUT SHE’S LIKE LITERAL SUNSHINE SO WHEN HE STARTS TO LIKE HER HE’S LIKE ‘NO!! NO’ -- THIS IS TOO LONG AND TOO SPECIFIC PLS 

AND I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR THIS ONE?? MAYBE BC SHE CAN SEE THE FUTURE AND IS REALLY WARM INEJ IS LIKE SHES A SAINT!! AND THE READER IS JUST LIKE I LOVE U BUT IM NOT A SAINT AND ALL INEJ HEARS IS OMG A SAINT SAID SHE LOVES ME 

NOTICE HOW NO NIKOLAI X READER FICS  OR JESPER X READER FICS ARE ON HERE?? IT’S BC THEY GET NO REJECTIONS

--

if u read this, you don’t know me :)) thanks for letting me rant so i can let things go :) if this post is deleted in the morning u never saw this!! i hate a snitch!

#six of crows #shadow and bone #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x you #grishaverse x you #grishaverse x reader #grisha #grisha!reader #darkling x reader #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #alina starkov x reader #alina starkov #zoya x reader #genya x reader #kaz brekker

[let-them-read-fics]

Too Late To Apologize?

Requested By @rosiesandlilies​: “I was wondering if I can request a Rosé x female reader story where Rosie is an idol who also happens to be ur wife and since she and BP are taking over the world by storm, she starts to forget about you and whenever u ask her to spend a little bit of time with you, she gets upset and fights with you. You’re also an important person but you always make time for her. Can it be angsty with fluff 🥰”

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 6,026

Warnings / Misc: -- Angst, Self Doubt, Strained Marriage / Relationship, Crying, Some Swearing, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Oooooo lord, here we go. I am feeding 👏 you 👏 all 👏 today! This one took a while to write, but I’m pretty happy with it. I wrote it all in one go, starting at like 3am (as usual lol), so forgive me if it’s a little rough. I put a lot of effort into it, though, so I hope you guys enjoy. Thank you for requesting -- Happy reading!

PS ~ I highly recommend that you listen to these songs as you read this:

You Were Good To Me -- Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

Surrender -- Natalie Taylor

The Night We Met -- Lord Huron

I Found -- Amber Run

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Hongdae, Seoul  --  8:00 PM

“Good evening, everyone! Before I open the doors, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time out of your day to stop in. We couldn’t have done this without your support, and we’re endlessly grateful. We hope you have a wonderful experience with us tonight. Now, without further ado, welcome to La Rêverie!”

To your amusement, the sizable crowd erupts into a fit of cheers once your opening speech is over. Echoes of the joyous sounds carry across the city, wiggling their way through the alleys and streets, bouncing off of the nearby buildings. The customers slowly filter in, greeting and congratulating you on their way; you’re beyond excited to start this new journey, and seeing people so happy to be a part of it only makes you more proud.

Eventually everyone makes it inside to their seats, and you join them.

--- Later That Evening ---

“Y/N, we have a private party that would like to see you. They’re eager to meet the woman behind all of this,” Pierre smirks, quirking an eyebrow suggestively. His demeanor confuses you slightly, seeing as how this isn’t the first time high profile celebrities have requested your presence -- that’s just one of the perks of being a world renowned chef. You brush off his remark as playful banter and send him to tell them that you’ll be out soon. 

---

“...yes, actually. Y/N and I were fortunate enough to meet when she was studying in Paris; we were being trained by the same chef. We’ve been close ever since. I’m not surprised that she hired me, though; I’m practically a master in the kitchen.”

At Pierre’s cocky words, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head. A small grin plays on your lips nonetheless, and you smooth out your top one more time before rounding the corner. 

“What’s this idiot on about now? Did he tell you about the time that he nearly got kicked out of our mentorship program for giving Anthony Bourdain the wrong dish?” You ask the table, sending them a glance while ruffling his hair as you come up behind him. They all snicker at that, and it’s his turn to roll his eyes; with an annoyed shove, he scolds you for bringing that story up again.

“Must you always tell people about that?”

Your smile widens, spreading cutely across your face. Mocking him is one of your favorite things to do. “Mhm,” you say simply, nodding your head for emphasis. He attempts to hide his embarrassment, but it only brings a deeper blush to his cheeks. 

At the VIP table, the suppressed sound of laughter carries over to you, and you’re reminded of your reason for being here in the first place. Upon offering your full attention to the table now, no longer distracted by Pierre, you’re met with 4 different pairs of eyes on you. Warm, yellow light illuminates the area, the classy overhead fixture emitting a soft glow to cast down on the guests beautifully. It’s cozy and inviting, just like you had intended it to be, and the sight makes you happy.

As you quickly scan over each of the girls, your brain pieces together where you know them from.

“My oh my, it’s Blackpink themselves. To what do I owe this honor?” All of the natural charisma that you possess takes over now, doing its best to override your nerves. It’s definitely not the time to fangirl over them; you have to act cool. One by one, you shake their hands, making sure to give each of them a glimpse of your award winning smile. 

Jennie is the first to speak up. “Yourself, of course. You’re the talk of the town, Y/N, how could we miss this?” The way that she says it so casually, already skipping past the formalities, puts you at ease. 

“Ah, you’re too kind. Was your food prepared to your liking?”

A chorus of approving noises leaves the table, successfully boosting your confidence in the process. “It was truly incredible, Y/N.” Rosé gushes, her adorable accent adding something magical to the simple phrase. For the first time tonight, your mind goes blank; ever since news broke of your plans for this new restaurant, you practiced to avoid this very thing. As you stand there floundering for a beat, she takes notice of the effect that her words have on you; it doesn’t take long for her to realize how much she loves to make you blush.

“Thank you so much. We’re so glad to have you here tonight.” 

“We’re happy to be here! Rosé hasn’t stopped talking about it for the past week.” The Australian’s eyes go wide as Lisa exposes her, and she shoots the younger girl a shocked look. Lisa only smirks at this, her shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug. Jisoo nods in confirmation, adding, “Yeah, she’s been super pumped.”

On the inside, you’re freaking out. Rosé was that excited to try out your creations? There’s no logical explanation for that one. Your own surprise is evident in your voice as you respond, “Oh really now? And why’s that?”

“I-I’ve just heard a lot of great things, you know? You’re pretty talented.” She tries to sound confident, but the stutter in her voice betrays her. The tips of her ears are burning with embarrassment, and after sending her yet another smile, you decide to spare her by changing the topic. 

“Well thank you, again. It’s truly a privilege to cook for you girls.” The conversation continues from there, effortlessly moving from subject to subject, and you love how welcome they make you feel. Occasionally you excuse yourself to check on the other guests and ensure that they’re enjoying their dinner, and every time, Rosé finds herself sorely missing your presence. Despite only officially meeting tonight, she feels like she’s known you her whole life. The two of you clicked instantly, and she can’t seem to get enough of you.

After spending the better part of 2 hours chatting and getting to know one another better, you grow bold and ask the question that’s been rolling around in your head all night. 

“Would you guys like to come back to the kitchen for a bit? I could give you some tips and we could make a couple dishes, if you want.”

Rosé nearly interrupts you from how eager she is to accept the offer. The second that you’re done asking, she’s already saying yes. The others happily agree as well, and soon you’re leading them to the back to get prepped.

_________

“Just like this, everyone. Cut thinly here,” you inform, using your knife to point to the areas in question, “...then turn it and follow through with the slices. It should come out diced, like so.” The girls observed your swift motions, peeking over at the small cubes once you’re finished. Things continue on like this for a while, and soon you’re halfway done with the veggies while they’re barely done with the first part of their batches.

“Slow down, Y/N! You’re too fast for us grandmas.” Jisoo jests, her voice bouncy with amusement. 

“Okay, okay! I’ll wait, just let me know if you need help.” Your knife comes to rest against the cutting board, and you take the opportunity to lean back against the countertop to watch them work. Your eyes trail over to Rosé, only to find her already looking at you; she tenses once she realizes she’s been caught, and she returns to her previous duties. You decide to tease her.

“Everything alright, Rosé? You seem a little distracted…” She momentarily shuts her eyes at your words, trying to refocus her thoughts and collect herself. A subtle snicker from Lisa can be heard, and Rosé delivers a quick jab to her arm. The maknae lets out a little “oww” before setting her things down to rub away the newfound soreness of her arm. 

A little later, Jennie requests some assistance, prompting you to make your way over to her. The station that she’s working at just so happens to be next to Rosé’s, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t thrill you. 

“Do we peel this first or leave it on?” 

“Cut the ends first, then slice it in half and remove the outer layer.”

Under your watchful eye, she follows your instructions and is soon back on track. She thanks you, and you bring your hand up to give her a pat on the back. Although she feels childish for it, the action works to make Rosé the tiniest bit jealous; she wants your attention on her. 

The blonde clears her throat before speaking up. “Y/N, I need a little help, too.” Your heart jumps at her words, and you fight hard to keep yourself in check as you spin around to face her.

“Of course, Rosé.” She sighs at the way her name rolls off your tongue, and she’s completely convinced that you’ve secretly put her under some type of spell. Her thoughts of you and your mysterious ways are interrupted when you come to stand next to her, your hip lightly brushing against hers. 

“Oh, well there’s your problem: you’re holding the knife wrong. Here,” you start, reaching out to reposition her hand in a better spot. Now she’ll be able to control it better, and she won’t run the risk of cutting herself.

“Better?” You ask innocently, missing the way that she bites her lip. The close proximity of your bodies is making her head spin, and she can’t decide if she wants you to stay or go. “Yes, thank you.” She looks like she wants to say something else, but she doesn’t, so you take that as your cue to go check on the other girls. Rosé silently curses herself for missing that golden opportunity to flirt with you, but she takes solace in the fact that she catches you stealing glances her way fairly often. You feel the connection too, and she’s pleased with that -- maybe she was doing something right after all.

The next stint of the night is spent preparing and cooking the dishes you promised them while trading jokes, banter, and teasing remarks. A mini food fight also took place, but for the sake of professionalism you won’t mention that. You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.

---- 

“Goodnight girls. I hope you come by again sometime soon!” 

They all assure you that they’ll be back before you know it, and you believe them. After all, they gobbled those dishes down like they hadn’t eaten in days -- it’s safe to say that they enjoyed them.

Rosé lingers in the doorway, eyeing you as you work to clean off the counter. She doesn’t want to go; she’s loved getting to hang out with you. Contemplating her options, she decides to be brave; she tells the girls to go on ahead, that she’ll be there in a minute. 

“Rosé, did you forget something?” You ask, looking up at her as you reach forward to wipe any remaining debris off the sleek surface.

“Yeah, your number.” Somehow, she possesses all the confidence in the world now, her new demeanor completely opposite to its previously shy counterpart. 

You tilt your head at her, a dumbfounded smile parting your lips ever so slightly. “Bold, are we? Alright, I’ll bite.” You say, holding a hand out for her to give you her phone. Her eyes widen a bit -- was she not expecting you to say yes? There’s no way you could turn down a chance like this. She fumbles around in her bag until the smooth screen of her phone comes into contact with her fingers, letting her know she’s found it.

“Here you go,” she chuckles cutely, an adorable little pattern of blush rising to her cheeks again. 

After entering your number, making sure to save the contact and even take a goofy picture of yourself for it, you give it back to her. “Call me anytime, love.” Her smile spreads even farther at the pet name, and she ducks her head to hide her reddening cheeks.

As she slowly approaches the door, walking backwards, she says, “I will… love,” offering you a little awkward salute at the end of it. You giggle at her antics, and soon bid her goodnight. 

No more than 5 minutes later, your phone dings as it displays a notification from an unknown number. 

“I’m usually not that awkward 🤦‍♀️ pretty girls just make me nervous.” The message makes your heart flutter, and you quickly save her number to your contacts. 

“Really? We have yet another thing in common, then.” 

The girls watch as Rosé does a little victory dance in her seat, her movements a bit limited by the belt stretched across her body. She’s practically glowing with excitement, her fingers already firing off another reply.

________

3 Years Later -- Rome, Italy

Upon seeing Rosé saunter down the aisle, your emotions get the jump on you; before you can stop them, tears flow freely down your face, and you bring a hand up to your mouth to quiet yourself. She looks bruisingly beautiful: the natural curves of her body are accentuated by the silky material of her dress, and her shoulders are covered in lace. An angel cast down from the heavens above. 

She smiles at the audience that’s filled with your close friends and family, offering little greetings as she passes them. Once she and her father make it to the altar, he pulls you in for a big hug, a few tears escaping his eyes. After he takes a step back, he looks between the two of you with pure pride on his face, his hand resting on your shoulder. 

The song ends, signalling for the two of you to join hands and face each other, and he returns to his seat. 

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Y/N L/N and Roseanne Park. Two souls destined to find their way to one another, travelling millions of miles in the process. We come together to revel in this fact and send them into their new life together with all of our support.” The officiator says into the microphone, smiling at the two of you. You can tell he loves his job, and he’s damn good at it. 

Rosé’s grip on your hand tightens as she tries to contain her tears, but you’re quick to assure her that it’s alright. “You can cry, baby.” At your words, her lip is released from between her teeth, and her tears begin to flow. You wipe them away, stepping closer to rest your forehead against hers. 

The ceremony continues on and the two of you recite the personal vows you wrote. Somehow, unbeknownst to you, there doesn’t seem to be a limit to how much you can cry in one sitting. Rosé is having the same problem, seeing as how her makeup is smudging some as the tears wash the substances away. You don’t care though, and you make it a point to remind her of that; she’s never looked more beautiful to you.

“I do.” You choke out, beaming at her as you run your thumb across her knuckles.

“I do.” She responds, impatiently bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits for those final words from the officiator. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” 

Her lips are on yours before he even finishes the phrase, her hand resting on the back of your neck as she pulls you in closer. Your lips move with hers in perfect time, working to seal your union in the best way possible. “I love you, forever,” she whispers against your lips. 

____

Present Day, 1:17 AM

In order to spare you from the overwhelming sadness that you’re being subjected to now, your brain takes you back to those happy times from the past. When Rosé still made time for you; when she loved you. 

Even though you hate it, you still find her in everything. The bright sunshine of the early morning reminds you of all the times she would wake you up with kisses, holding you close. The songbirds outside of your window bring to mind when you’d come home to find her at the piano, alternating between striking the keys and strumming her guitar as her beautiful voice carried out across the house. 

You miss that Rosé, so, so much. The Rosé that would call you in between sessions at the studio, if only for 5 minutes. The Rosé that longed to hear your voice after a long day; who fell into your arms the second that she shuffled through the door after practice. 

As time has passed, though, she’s seemed to fade more and more from your life; missed calls and texts have become a given, and it takes everything in you to mask your sorrow. Anyone who knows you well at all can easily see through the facade: you’re now a shell of who you once were, your normally vibrant and cheery self gone. You attempt to hide your sadness behind a smile, but it never really works out; your eyes don’t shine like they used to, and your lips don’t quite tweak up at the corners in the special way they had before. 

But you’re getting ahead of yourself again. Your reason for crying tonight is simple: for the hundredth time this month, she’s cancelled your date night plans, opting to spend the time working instead. The argument that the two of you had earlier replays in your mind:

"I don't have a choice."

Except, she did. She could choose you, choose to take a break, if only for the evening. You never ask too much of her, knowing that she can't handle even more stress competing with what she already has from the company and media. Being an idol is hard enough, and you know you can never fully wrap your head around everything that's expected of her.

Though, that makes this all the more ridiculous. All you've asked for is a couple hours of her time -- for her to relax with you and get away from it all. Earlier that day you had gone to the store and picked up all the necessary materials to treat her to a little spa day, complete with bath and body oils, face masks, and even some bath bombs. 

"Asking my wife to spend an evening with me is not unreasonable, Rosé."

"I'm not having this argument again, Y/N. I get enough shit from everyone else; I don't need any extra from you."

Maybe it was something in how she said it, so final and hateful, her face coming to rest in a scowl. Her arms were crossed as she stood in front of you, and you could see the muscles in her jaw clench and release repeatedly. In some twisted way, part of you was glad to have this encounter; it hurt like hell, but at least she was paying attention to you. She hadn't looked at you for this long in a while.

Before you can even get another word out, she sighs, saying, "I don't have time for this. I have to go back to the studio." 

Just as she turns to go, you catch her wrist. With a slightly annoyed look, she turns to face you.

"If you walk out that door then I'm leaving; at least for the night. We need to talk about this, but if you don't care enough to even give me that, then…" you trail off, tilting your head slightly. You want her to apologize, to say how wrong she's been for doing all of this to you -- but she doesn't. Her expression is tired, irritation written plainly for you to see. She pulls her arm away, offering a petty, "Oh well," with a shrug before exiting the house. 

How could she be so cold? Maybe that's what hurt the most. Seeing the love of your life turn into someone completely different than who you fell for stung more than any argument ever could. The reality is that she's not the same person anymore. Accepting that would be half of the battle in and of itself. 

Your heart is betraying itself, stuck in a sticky situation: you're constantly struggling between your love for her and the respect you hold for yourself. Half of you wants to stay, to make her listen and fight for this; but the other half of you, perhaps the more rational side, knows that that won't work now. You've tried that already, you reason with yourself, racking your brain for any new way to get through to her. 

Sometimes it's like she forgets all of the sacrifices you make for the relationship. Despite having your own busy schedule to deal with, you always make time for her. So why could she never do the same for you?

It's obvious that in its current state, this relationship is only wrecking your mental health -- a testament to that is every night you've spent lying awake, sobbing into your pillow as your list of insecurities grows longer and longer. She used to be the person you'd run to when negative thoughts plagued your mind, her sweet words of love showing how much she valued you. But all of that's gone now, leaving you with a shattered heart and racing mind. When had you stopped being enough?

~~~~~~~

It’s late, well past 4AM when Rosé manages to make it home. Practice absolutely wrecked her today, leaving her body exhausted from dancing and throat sore from all the singing she had to do. She’s more than ready to collapse into bed and pass out. 

One thing that always stayed the same was your sleeping arrangement. No matter how much Rosé hurt you, you still slept in the same bed. Her subconscious was always kinder to you than she was, anyway; the two of you would cuddle in close like before, her arms wrapped around you as she slept peacefully. No arguments or yelling, you could always count on the nights to heal your heart a little bit. 

As she enters the empty bedroom, the memory of your argument from earlier that day comes flooding back. She remembers that you said you were leaving, but part of her didn't fully believe you. She should've known better -- you always keep your word. Guilt washes over her, and she gently taps her head against the wall as a sort of self-punishment for her previous actions. Why did she say that to you? The hurt look in your eyes broke her heart, but she couldn’t afford to skip practice, especially with the comeback quickly approaching. In retrospect, she should’ve just told you that she didn’t feel prepared, and that’s why this practice had been so important. Even though she doesn’t show it, you still mean the world to her. She just so happens to be her own worst enemy. 

With a heavy sigh, she makes her way to the bathroom; there she finds a cute little basket of goodies next to the tub, and a note on the counter of the sink. She approaches the basket first, quickly discovering that it holds some of her favorite self-care items from the local store. Yet again, a deep pang of guilt courses through her upon realizing that you had prepared that for her. Defeated, she picks up the note. 

Roseanne,

If you’re reading this, then I’ve already left. I don’t want you to worry, if you even still care enough to do that, so I decided to leave this letter for you. I’ll be staying with my friend for the next while. I don’t know how long, but that depends entirely on you. I’ve tried to communicate with you, but we’re getting nowhere; we both know it. We’re not who we used to be, Rosé, and I hate that. I want us to be happy again, but it seems that I can’t do that for you. If you want to end things, let me know. 

- Y/N

Rosé’s heart is breaking, splintering into a million different pieces and leaving her with no possible way to collect them all. How had she so royally fucked this up? She only has herself to blame, and she knows that; she can’t believe that she let things get like this. She had been so blinded by the stress that she lost sight of the most important thing in her life: you. It’s slowly sinking in that she very well might lose you for good this time, and she doesn’t know how to cope with that. She can survive without her career, but she knows she can’t go on without you.

-----  La Rêverie, 2 Weeks Later -----

She only intended to walk by -- to see if you were there and safe. But as she gazes through the windows, peeking into the place that houses so many of her dearest memories, she’s transfixed. Her eyes land on you, finding you hard at work in the kitchen. It’s always been where you go when you’re stressed or upset about something -- two things that Rosé knows she’s the cause of.

You’re in your element, face donning a look of pure concentration as you prepare what she assumes is a new dish. Your hair’s in a bun, a few strands coming down to fall around your face as you move about. Gravity takes its time in gently coaxing them out of the tie's hold, and Rosé’s breath hitches at how beautiful you look; it’s as if she’s falling for you all over again. She’s always admired your skills, but they hold a whole new meaning now, an unspoken tension in every movement you make. 

How had she been so selfish? You had been there for her all along, waiting patiently for the day that she would come to her senses. You would always have dinner ready -- usually one of her favorites, hoping that would spark something again -- but she always brushed you off. She never stayed long enough to see the crushed look on your face, or how the pain was becoming clearer and clearer by the day. She realizes now just how much of a toll her actions have taken on the both of you; you're still just as breathtaking as ever to her, but that special sparkle in your eye has long been eclipsed by something more dull. You're tired of being let down repeatedly, stuck in a constant loop of excuses and avoidance, and Rosé can't blame you for a second.  

The time apart hasn't been kind to her at all; there hasn't been a single day that's gone by where you haven't consumed her thoughts. She misses you so badly it hurts, and even now, despite being so close to you, separated only by the walls of the restaurant, you've never been further away. 

The distant sound of a car alarm cuts through the silence, simultaneously scaring her and drawing your attention. Before you can spot her, she ducks down; there’s no way that she can face you yet. Taking this as a sign, she decides to leave.

She’s spent the past 2 weeks attempting to spare you by not coming around; she thinks you need time away from her to deal with everything she’s put you through, and she doesn’t want to upset you anymore than she already has. Ever-torn, part of you is glad that she’s stayed away; however, another part of you just wants to see her again. You miss the nights more than you thought you would. 

--- A Few Days Later ---

Steady sheets of rain pound harshly against the window, vibrating the latches with each gust of wind. Times like these are always the worst, especially when you don’t have Rosé to calm you down. Violent thunderstorms never fail to frighten you, and this one in particular seems like it’ll be the worst one of the season. Swiftly padding over to the window, you sneak a quick peek outside, only to find the branches of the large oak tree that occupies the yard swaying in the wind with reckless abandon. The sight terrifies you, but you do your best to keep yourself from panicking, even having to do some breathing exercises. Your friend can sleep through anything, and you know she needs the rest; so, you stay in the spare bedroom that she’s so graciously allowing you to reside in, and lie awake. 

Across the city, Rosé is tossing and turning. The storm hasn’t fully reached its peak there yet, but she knows how worried you must be. Tears spring to her eyes at the thought of you huddled up under the covers, body trembling in fear as the storm rages on. The deep-rooted shame that she’s grown so accustomed to since you left plagues her conscience, making her even more disgusted with herself. 

After turning over yet again, her eyes land on the picture she has of the two of you propped up on the nightstand. It was taken on your wedding day, that stunning view of the venue paling in comparison to your beauty. A sense of determination washes over her -- determination to make you that happy again someday, in whatever way she can -- and she gets out of bed to collect a few materials. She’ll do whatever it takes.

----

The sound of a car door slamming perks your ears up, and your curiosity gets the better of you. Quickly pulling the curtain back, you’re beyond shocked to see Rosé out there, holding something in her hand. Just as you lean in closer to the window to try and see what it is, her caller ID pops up on your phone. 

“Come downstairs, please.” 

Even with the vast array of emotions coursing through you at the moment, you’re only focused on getting her inside and out of harm’s way. 

You nearly knock the door off its hinges with how quickly you snap it open. To your surprise, she’s still standing by her car, but now you can see what she was holding before; a white sign with black writing on it. The words are barely legible with how much it's raining, the dye of the marker horribly smudged, but you can make out: “I’m sorry! I’m an idiot.” It’s like something out of romantic drama.

Before you can even comment on everything that’s happening, Rosé begins the speech that she’s been trying to piece together ever since you left. 

She has to raise her voice so you can hear her over the storm. You wonder why she doesn’t just come in, but you think that maybe she’s doing it to show you that she’s willing to punish herself by standing out in the elements. “No words that I say will ever be able to fix the pain that my actions caused. You don’t deserve any of the shit I put you through, and I hate myself for being such a coward. I was too immature to look past my own struggles and just talk to you about them.” 

Now, she takes a few cautious steps towards the front door, testing the waters as she scans your face to gauge how you’re feeling. “I guess I just thought I could deal with it like I always do. But losing you showed me how wrong I was; I love you so much, Y/N. I don’t want to end things; I’ll never want that. You’re my world, baby; I’m so sorry that it took me this long to see what was right in front of me.” 

How are you to respond to that? Can you trust her? She looks more sincere in this moment than she has in a long time, and that puts you a little more at ease. Her eyes are begging -- pleading -- with you to believe her, and after a moment you step to the side, wordlessly telling her to come in. You don’t even realize that you’re crying until a few stray tears drip onto your shirt, leaving little marks in their wake. She has to restrain herself from reaching out and wiping them away; she has no idea when -- or if -- you’ll be able to forgive her. 

Soft pitter-patter of the water running off of her coat echoes lightly across the foyer, serving as white noise for the conversation you’re having. Her sniffles work in tandem with it, and she bites back her sobs in order to get the words out. 

“I know this won’t be fixed overnight, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me. I won’t blame you for a second if you can’t forgive me, either. I just couldn’t let you get away without a fight.”

With each new fresh batch of tears that settle in your eyes, you have to work twice as hard to blink them away. “I-I don’t know what to say, Rose. You’re the only person in this world capable of hurting me that badly, because you mean more to me than anyone else. But I never thought you’d treat me like that. Do you know how many times I doubted myself, thinking I did something wrong?” Your tone is bitter now, voice conveying the pain from those months of anguish that you had to endure, and Rosé hangs her head. 

“I know that now, Y/N, and I know that I can never take it back. But God, how I wish I could. I’d do anything in my power to take that pain away. It was never your fault; none of it was.”

You know she’s being honest. After seeing the opposite for so long, it’s easy to spot when she’s telling the truth. You nod a couple times, deciding to pull her in for a long-overdue hug. She’s motionless at first, not quite knowing if you want her to return it or not, but the second that you quietly say, “Hold me, Rosé,” she’s scooping you up in her arms like her life depends on it. Her head rests in the crook of your neck, and the two of you cry together, letting all of the pent up frustration and sadness leave your bodies. 

After standing there, embracing one another for who knows how long, she pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. Her gaze subtly falls to your lips, but you don’t fail to notice. “Can I?” She asks gently, raising her eyes back up to yours. “Yes.” You utter, nearly swooning as her soft lips brush against your own. You’ve missed them. 

Her chilled hands cup your cheeks with purpose, and you can feel water running off the ends of her hair and onto your chest.

She kisses you in such a poetic way: softly, as if you might break at any moment, but urgently, like a lost soldier finally returning to the arms of their lover. She wants to make you feel how sorry she is, how much she loves you, and this seems like the perfect place to start.

“I love you, jerk,” you say through your tears, brushing your thumb along her cheek as you look into her eyes.

“And I love you, angel.” She picks you up, spinning you around a couple of times before setting you back down on your feet. 

After a moment, you glace at the window. “Shhhh, wait. Do you hear that?”

She cocks her head to the side as she listens closely for any potential noise that you might be talking about, but she hears nothing. “No? I don’t hear anything…” 

“Exactly; the rain stopped.”

“Huh. I guess it did its job, then.” She smiles, silently thanking the universe for working in its wonderful ways. It brought the two of you back to one another, and neither of you can contain your happiness. Maybe you don’t hate storms as much after all...

#rosé #roseanne park #park chaeyoung #blackpink #blackpink x reader #blackpink imagines #blackpink oneshots #blackpink scenarios #rosé x fem reader #rosé x reader #rosé imagine #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop girl group #let-them-read-fics #blackpink angst #blackpink fluff #jennie kim #kim jisoo #lisa manoban

[gojology]

Fireworks.

the request :

pairing : not technically a pairing.. but lets just say gojo x female reader warnings : angst and cursing, no editing. wordcount : 2561 a/n : this physically hurt me to write thanks anon. aha all jokes aside i’m so sorry for not making this quick enough, i finally got enough time to finish it and it’s not even that good :( thank u SO much for ur kind words omg u got me feelin like <333333333

       You stare at him, and he stares back, you’re sure he’s unblinking behind those shades of his.         You knew what would happen after this confrontation, after all, you were the one who had asked him to meet you here. It’s a small, calm park. The atmosphere is still, and the shrill sounds of cicadas are the only thing penetrating the deafening silence between the two of you.          “Hey.” he finally speaks up, sounding a bit too impatient for your liking. You flinch a little, and your fist tightens. It was like he never learned how to introduce himself politely.         You take a deep breath in and exhale, your breath comes out in clouds of smoke. You remember when Shoko had given you those cigarettes one day and Gojo slapped it out of your slack hands, Geto and Gojo laughing at your flushed face, your heart twists.          Truth be told, you didn’t even know why you were thinking the world was ending- it wasn’t. Breaking up with your fellow peer was awkward to say the least, but there were only 4 of you in the jujutsu class, yourself included. It would be undeniably dreadful to see his lanky figure dotting around the back of the class with Geto, and to have to work with him for everything else.          “Hey.” you reply, your words dripping with venom.         “C’mon, cut to the chase.” he waved his hand a few times in the air as a dismissal of the conversation, a half eaten lollipop dangling dangerously from those limp long fingers. It makes you hate him even harder. Couldn’t he read the room?     “I don’t have time for chit-chat, you know?! The strongest needs some rest. I’m human like the rest of us! Sheesh, Jujutsu is so demanding....”      “We need to break up.” is all that slips from your lips, and even you’re shocked it came out that carelessly. You wanted to stop resisting, to stop holding back and let loose the long river of hatred and misery you had for this man- no, a boy, he was a boy.      A strong wind blows against your warm face, and the lollipop drops onto the grass without another word.        Gojo gapes at you dumbly, and in return you look down to study that glistening in the moonlight lollipop, it’s pink and ants are already crawling on their new found prey. Your shoes are slightly dirty, and you could see-        “Are you serious?” he scoffed as if it was a joke. It’s not, and you hate being taken like a joke. You weren’t, and that’s all Gojo Satoru did- take everything as a joke, everything was childs play to him. You were looking for a serious relationship, and him? He was looking for sex and quick make out sessions.        “Wait- you’re not joking?” he laughs again, but it trails off, you doubt it actually affected him.        “Of course I’m not joking. Why would I joke about shit like this?” you spat back.        You didn’t care about his feelings right now. You deserved some sort of medal for dealing with him, any sort of compensation really. it seemed to you like the relationship didn’t quite matter for whatever reason. If he wanted to be fuckbuddies he could’ve just said so-       But you still can’t wrap your head around why he kept you, he didn’t throw you away, and you falter. You wanted to be his girlfriend in some ways, in others you wanted to punch him in the face with as much cursed energy as possible.        Gojo takes his glasses off, slipping them into his jacket’s pocket. It seems like he doesn’t want to talk, but you press on.        “I’m fucking tired, Satoru. You treat me like bullshit. I’m not your-” you take a short breather, tears beginning to dawn at the corner of your eyes. “I’m not your fucking doll. And I never, ever WILL BE. I’ve hung onto this stupid fucking relationship long enough and the amount of dedication you poured into this isn’t enough. I deserve better.”        Shit. You hated rambling like that. Scratch that, you hated confrontations as a whole, this would be sure to take a toll on you later.       Turning your back on him, you allow those tears to finally fall. Tears that had been shut in long enough had finally seen the light of day. You wipe the trails away with the already wet sleeve of your hoodie, a large trembling frown adorned your features.        You can’t hide your sniffling even if you tried, and before you know it you can’t even prevent the floodgates from bursting. The tears seeped into the dirt, creating some sort of rhythm as they fell from your cheeks.       “Hey-” he places those hands on your shoulder that made your knees go weak, it’s gentle, and he slightly caresses you. It’s strangely intimate for the situation you found yourself in, but you’re still mortified. Why did you enjoy his touch?        It feels like you’re in this position for ages, his hands on your shoulder, your back facing him. Somehow, someway, you can taste salty tears and you didn’t remember drinking any, for a split second you feel disgusted, at you, at him, at the world.      A small noise leaves your throat.      “It’s okay.” he finally spoke, was that a hint of sorrow? Never mind that, he was actually taking this seriously. What a turn of events.      He took it better then you certainly thought, especially since this would be a definite blow to his big ego. You turn to face him, maybe as an act of superiority, hell like you knew.       Peculiarly, there are tears in his eyes as well. Crocodile tears, probably. He’s most likely trying to guilt trip you- hah, like you’d fall for that. You knew better.      “It’s okay.” he repeated again, brushing those tears away with his roughed up thumb, you’re mortified. Why were you allowing him to touch you?      A calm silence settles between the two of you, but shortly after you hear the rustling of cloth.       Gojo’s taking his jacket off?       About to speak, your mouth snaps shut as he placed the impossibly large jacket around your body, small compared to his. Instinctively, you allow it, but your mind is cursing you for not lashing out on him- why did he still care about you, anyways?     Gojo takes a step back, and you realize you’re now wearing his jacket. His gaze directed at yours, eyelashes fluttering. Your lips are tingling, and for some unbeknownst reason you wonder how a kiss would feel right now.      A part of you still wanted the relationship.      “Take care.”      And with that, he twirled around with a hint of flair, hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets; wind howling against your ears as he did so. He was finally leaving you, but that wasn’t what you envisioned, you wanted to leave him- not him leave you.      You watched him stroll off, heading to where ever he came from.     That was how your first, and last relationship ended.  ‧₊˚✩彡.     The thought of this abandoned relationship nestled at the back of your head, and it had been for several years. It was like it happened yesterday.      His glasses still resided on your nightstand, sitting on the same spot that you had hastily dropped it on all those years ago, gathering dust quickly as you couldn’t quite look at it.       Gojo’s jacket was at the very back of your closet, and you’d advert your gaze to somewhere else- anywhere else, whenever you saw the wretched pitch-black sleeves that were twice the size of your arms.       You had taken a rather looked down upon jujutsu path, one that you knew only one other person had done before you. Nanami Kento was his name, from what you remembered. Sure, you still kept in touch with Shoko, but that was about it.       Today was one of those days, Shoko would invite you to some sort of establishment to eat, perhaps make small talk about what had been happening in your life, and that was that. Admittedly, you missed that childish relationship with her so badly- but you could never tell her about that.       Japan at night was always a treat though, that was certainly a fact.      Perhaps Shoko was thinking about other things when she took you to the Japanese night market, though you didn’t blame her- after all the fireworks festival was today, if you remembered correctly. Stalls filled with games and cheap street-snacks wafted about in the air, sweet tangy sauce, noodles, your stomach grumbled as you thought about taking a bite on the horribly unhealthy junk food.       “Here, Y/N. I’ve heard this takoyaki is really good.” You and Shoko had finally found an empty bench to sit at, and for some reason the muddy green color painted onto the wooden bench made your stomach lurch- it was the same shade that you saw nearby when breaking up with Gojo.     Shoko gives you this lukewarm yet kind smile, enough for you to give her a small grin to her in return, and you take the still hot container out of her gentle hands.       You plop the doughy deliciousness into your salivating mouth, and immediately you’re giddy. Savoring the taste of the thick brown sauce coating your pallet. You had to admit, Shoko, Geto, and... Gojo had amazing taste in food. Your tastebuds had instantaneously dulled as soon as you parted ways with the trio.      “Shoko-” you mumble, your mouth still stuffed, you cover your mouth and try to lower the sound of your chewing. “This is really good! How much was it?”        Shoko’s eyebrow quirks, and she leans in closer to you, “What was that?”        About to repeat yourself, you drink in the scene around you first. Cheerful children roaming the streets; too past their bedtime. Angsty teenagers and the many lanterns strung highly above everyone’s heads, how bright everything was.       Then you see it.       Someone large, atleast, significantly larger as opposed to the general crowd bustling in the streets. You couldn’t be mistaken, he had the same wild white hair- except it’s gelled up into spikes. He’s wearing a mauve darkish-purple uniform, it seems, a cute shopping bag swinging side by side as he took long strides. One thing you had to note was a blindfold, though.       Gojo’s not wearing those classic shades that was practically his signature.       You peer over at Shoko, who’s now frantically waving at Gojo, humming, his chin tipped towards the clear canvas of a sky, dotted with many white stars. He seems livelier somehow, an aura of friendliness radiating instead of arrogance, and you drop your takoyaki in suit.       He notices you.      And then he notices Shoko.       “...’Scuse me. Comin through.” he maneuvered himself through the already annoyed crowd, muttering quick polite apologies before finally freeing himself from the tight bundle of people. A large toothy grin is displayed for the world to see on his face, you feel like you’re about to vomit everything you had eaten today.       Your eyes scan the bag he’s holding, it contrasted heavily from the dark color scheme of whatever he was clad in; pastel yellow with a cute light green mascot chewing happily on mochi. In bubble letters above it were the words, “It’s a good day for yummy food.”      “Shoko!” he exclaims joyously, giving her a quick hug. “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while outside of work.”       Then, Gojo glances at you, atleast that’s what you assume he’s doing, the blindfold was really confusing you. He politely smiled, not as big as the one that he gave Shoko, though.        “Long time no see, Y/N.”        You clear your throat and nod in agreement. “You too.”        Polite chatter between the two of them ensued, and you steadily got more bored as the time went on, checking your phone and stealing quick stares at the two of them. You want to comment, to be included, but you doubt anyone really cared for you right now.        “...How are you?” you say bluntly, blinded by boredom, and immediately you regret it.       Shoko chuckles awkwardly, looking at you with those tired eyes of hers. “Was that for me or Gojo?”        Fuck it, if you were gonna go out, you might as well do it now.        “Gojo.”        “Shit. Putting me in the spotlight like this?” he stands back up from leaning down to talk to Shoko eye-to-eye, now turning to look at you, pausing.       “You’re even more straightforward then I remember, and I thought that was impossible.”        “Yeah.” you finally say after too many seconds of silence. It seemed like he was hinting at something. “I guess we just grow as people, even though I thought that was basically impossible for you.” you cheekily retort back, crossing your arms over your chest with a smug smirk now proudly playing at your lips.        “AND you got sassier? Never quite grew outta the brat phase.” taking a seat between the empty space between the two of you with a huff, his right leg placed above the knee of his left, his thumb plays with the hem of his blindfold, pulling it just a bit so that you could see his snow white eyelashes, alongside with a singular eye.     It’s like time stops as soon as you see them, and it’s like Shoko isn’t closely surveying the two of you, obviously perplexed with this sudden increase of the intensity of conversation.        You see a split second of something flickering in those eyes of his, you’re not quite sure what it could quite be.. Vulnerability?         “Can’t believe my eyes.” pulling his blindfold back down. They’re still as breathtaking as you had imagined them to be. He shrugged, leaning back into the bench casually.      For a while, the three of you just watch the stall directly in front of you- it’s a goldfish stall. Gojo had gotten you one when the two of you were still dating.         Shit. Why weren’t you over such a silly relationship? It wasn’t like you still had feelings for him, but there was still this emotion you couldn’t shake off. It clung onto you like a leech.         “It’s been so long since we’ve relaxed with each other like this.” Shoko mused aloud, turning to look at the two of you. The words are so faint, you’re barely able to hear her subtle voice.        At this point, colorful fireworks started bursting into the air- every shade of color could be seen. Vibrant greens, blues, reds, a loud crackling is all the ear can hear, aside from the loud cheering of over joyous children. Both of you are unanswering.       Vaguely, you remember the first time you saw the fireworks. Lo and behold, you remember wisps of Gojo’s white hair that you twisted and played with, your legs wrapped around his head. You felt on top of the world. Now, you found yourself at the bottom of it.         There’s a grateful, albeit, sad smile on your face. It wasn’t like it was all sunshine and rainbows for you, no. You felt bitter. Hatred, even, that Gojo matured without you.        “Yeah. I miss this.” you say through gritted teeth.         If you were to be honest, you did miss them. Geto, Shoko, Gojo, running around pelting each other with scrunched up paper.       Not just Gojo.        But you guess he’s a big factor as well.       

#gojo satoru #jjk #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #jjk gojo satoru #gojo satoru fic #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen fic #gojou satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo sensei #anime fic #fanfiction #fanfic #gojo satoru scenario #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #gojo satoru fanfic #this is so bad #im sorry #angst #gojo satoru x female reader

[winslctrg]

I Love You, With A Touch Of Tragedy And Quite Madly. (Mildred Ratched x Reader)

summary: a regular day at work turns out to be not so regular

a/n: this is for @sassicaismysupreme surpriseeee i was ur secret fic writer. Not important, but this is my first fic ever so i hope it is any good!

warnings: slapping, angst!

Your relationship with Mildred was a fairytale. You were all sunshine and blue skies. Though some clouds might be there with the occasional rainy day, there were rarely thunderstorms.

Mildred only added to your sunshine. She has been like some sort of rainbow hanging above your little heart island, making it a happier place. Rainbows are rare and special, and that’s also how you looked at Mildred.

It had always been happy. You were used to it like that, and you liked it that way. No complications, no anxiety, no fears, no anger. Mildred was some sort of safe haven where you just never had any problems. That's probably why the situation affected you so much.

It was one of those blue sky, happy sunny days. You opened your eyes, closed them again against the rays that fell right through your curtains. You couldn't be annoyed for long though, because your head immediately met your sleeping girlfriend's.

Your mouth fell into a soft smile upon seeing her. She always seemed to have that effect on you, no matter where you guys were. It once even happened at a funeral, and Mildred had to give u a soft warning glare. Not that that helped though, it only made you smile more. She made you smile. At home, at work, in the grocery store, on the street, at parties, anywhere at anytime. She was quite simply everything to you.

You pressed a soft kiss on her temple “Wake up darling, we’ll be late.” You whispered, before running your hand softly through her hair. The sun made her features even more gorgeous than they usually were, accentuating her sharp cheekbones and her beautiful big lips. Your hand left her hair and ran softly from the forming frown between her eyebrows all the way down to her nose before putting it on her now blushing cheeks.

“Goodmorning sunshine.” You giggled. A soft smile spread on Mildred’s face as she finally opened her eyes. Her brown eyes looked nearly gold because of the sun. You begged. Wished to stay like this forever, but the alarm went off, pulling you both out of your trances. You grinned at her before you sat up and grabbed her wrist. She positioned herself right in your arms. You let your nose slip into her beautiful reddish-brown hair, smelling her expensive shampoo.

You never got used to moments like these. They made your heart race, and you were sure it also grew 3 times bigger. “I love you” you whispered into her hair, as if making a promise to yourself that your heart would forever beat for her. “I love you too honey.” She said before yawning. “Aww are you sleepy baby?” you teased. “Did i wear you out last night?” your said, and you winked at her. Mildred glared at you, but you could see the pink tones covering her ears and cheeks. You kissed her softly, before pulling away again but resting your forehead against hers, noses touching. “We have to get ready.” You whispered. “I know.” She replied. She put her soft hands on your cheeks, as her long slender thumbs started stroking the area right beside your nose. “I love you.” You said again, just for the sake of reassuring your promise to her. She knew, because she smiled and when you looked deep into her warm brown eyes you saw that same promise. “I love you too, lets get dressed.”

You were in the car to work, both of you working at the hospital. Mildred drove, always. You did try once, but then nearly hit a car because you were too busy staring at her. You didn’t mind not driving, it meant you could stare at her without the posibillity of killing an entire family and their dog.

As you both arrived on the parking lot, you made sure your hat was on right and straightened Mildred’s too. You glanced around, saw nobody and kissed her. It always cleared your mind, kissing her. It seemed to draw out any negative feelings and fill your head with love, much like a love potion.

You both stepped out of the car and went to your respective entrances. You gave Mildred a small smile before parting.

Work went slowly, but good. You were good friends with Huck, and he made time speed up just a little faster, plus seeing Mildred at lunch really made you optimistic again.

After lunch, Mildred called you and Huck to a treatment room. There was a girl there, around your age, and she looked frightened.

“Nurse Finnigan, nurse y/l/n, this is miss Ruth Davis. She’s here because of unexplainable feelings towards women, which is simply unacceptable, don’t you guys think?” You pushed up an eyebrow and looked at Huck, who also had a confused expression on his face. “Well?” Mildred asked, a slight tinge to her tone now. Huck cleared his throat. “Yeah uh sure, unacceptable.”

You, however shook your head. “I don’t think she should be tortured simply for liking women. I don’t see a problem with it honestly.” You said as calmly as you could. You met Hucks gaze, saw his shocked eyes but also his slight grin. You averted your gaze to meet Mildreds eyes, saw a flash of panic. Panic? No, now it was definitely anger. “Nurse y/l/n thats incredibly inappropriate. I suggest you find another job if you think that way.” She said, her voice sounded a little too forced for your liking. “I’d gladly do, but um I know you don’t have a problem with it either.” You said and moved your head to look at the girl. “She doesn’t,” you told her. “I’d know-“

Before you had the time to finish your sentence, you felt a hard burning on your cheek and you stumbled tot he ground. She had hit you. Your mind was running 800 miles per second. You stared back up at her with tears threatening to come out of your eyes.

“I should’ve known it wasn’t real, right? That this was all a big game to you. That you didn’t actually care about me.” You whispered and you tried to lean on your shakey hands. “I’m sorry for believing you didn’t actually hate me, I’m sorry you had to keep your act up for so long. I just thought-“ your voice broke mid sentence. “I thought we were happy.” You blinked. Didn’t, couldn’t look at her. You opened your mouth to speak again, but instead a sob made it’s way out. You shook your head feverently and ran past her. “Don’t come after me.” You murmered as your shoulders touched. Away. Away. Away.

You didn’t know how long you had ran for, you wondered how you had even kept on going that far. Breathing was becoming, air scraping it’s way through your lungs, making them bleed. Doesn’t matter, you told yourself. It definitley wasn’t bleeding as badly as your heart

You only ever wanted to be hers. To watch the sunset with her ever night in the summer, and sit by the ocean just because you could. To give her hugs for warmth when she had underestimated the cool sting of the autumn air. To hold her hand on walks during the snow in the winter, and buy her the perfect christmas presents. To pick her some blooming daisies and lavender and violets in the spring and make a bouqet, just for her. You wanted to make her feel wanted.

You came to a halt as you realized where you had run to. Her house. Because that was home. She was. Your face crumpled and you started sobbing. You rand to the nearest wall to steady yourself, before giving up and letting yourself slide down the wall. You let your head fall in your hands and buried your shaking fingers in your hair.

“Yes, I’m scared of you! You hit me!” you screamed out, voice breaking halfway through out of frustration, anger and love. That one was hard to admit, but you knew you were mad because you loved her. Because you had spent months making a flower garden with all of your memories, and all that you knew of her, and all of your feelings, and she had just set it on fire.

“Look y/n I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do.” She said. Her voice was soft and you tried to listen for any sign of a lie. You couldn’t find any. You whipped your head up, glaring at her with such passion that even you were scared of what you were capable of. “You should’ve thought about that before you put you whole palm on my face, don’t you think?” you snarled. You saw her chin tremble, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “You know, you always tell your patients not to be afraid, but i don’t think there’s anyone that’s more scared than you. I know you are, don’t even pretend you aren’t. I know you.” You paused for a second, took a shaky breath in, cursed at yourself internally. “You might not know it, but I do. 4 months don’t just go by, Mildred. Neither for you nor for me.”

You saw a tear slip out of her eye. “I’m so sorry y/n. I do know. I do care. I’m sorry.” She breathed, and you could practically hear your heart break. “I don’t know what to do, but I do care. I can’t-“ her sentence got broken up by a big intake of breath, before a loud sob escaped her mouth. “I was so scared.” She cried. Your eyebrow pushed up. You should've known she was afraid, should've known she never agreed to do the therapy, should’ve known you burnt your own flowers the minute you started talking. But you were confused, and you felt hurt and you reacted on that.

You didn't even think about her feelings, if you were going to be honest with yourself. You wanted to feel guilty, but deep down you knew you couldn’t blame yourself. She hurt you, she hit you and that wasn’t going to be forgotten in a heartbeat.

But you loved her. More than anything. And so you tried to pick up all of the broken pieces, yours and hers, and tried to glue all of it into one big love ball.

“I’m not gonna say that its okay, Mildred, because it’s not and you know that.” You started. You saw her eyes scarily looking up into yours. You took a deep breath in before continuing. “But this doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.” Her eyes watered again. “It doesn’t?” You shook your head. “No it doesn’t, but you try doing that again and I won’t give you another chance.” Mildred shook her head violently. “Alright, come on, we’ll go home.”

That night before you guys went to bed, you approached her.

“Mildred,” you said as she was going to the bathroom. She turned around, her beautiful curls falling just right over her shoulders. “Yeah?” she said. You smiled. “I love you.” She hid a small blush while turning back around. “I love you too darling.” She replied. You smiled to yourself. Though this was too big of an issue to just blow over, you knew you and Mildred would work through it. Because you loved her, even if it was tragedy sometimes.

#mildred ratched #mildred ratched x reader #ratched #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader