#or to Levi or to Petra ever again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jayteacups · 2 years

Note

Hi there can I get a Levi x female reader who is the newest edition to his squad. Reader is such a badass on the field, and takes down a Titan with such grace and skill but back inside the walls, away from Titan territory, she’s a blushing shy little thing and Levi finds that so endearing. Oh, and with a jealous Petra too when she realises her captain paying a little too much attention to their newest comrade. Lots of fluff between Levi and reader please

And So It Begins.

On the field, you are a force to be reckoned with. Off the field, it is almost the exact opposite. Either way, you catch your Captain’s eye, and so it begins.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader

Tags and warnings: Fluff, a smidge of emotional hurt/comfort, descriptions of canon-typical violence, mentioned leisurely alcohol consumption towards the end, love confessions, happy ending

Word count: 5.8k

A/N: Hey! I had so much fun writing this. I hope you don’t mind that Petra won’t be villianised (because that is my least favourite trope in Levi x Reader fics like ever) - so she’s going to be softly pining from a distance and not be mean because I just feel that’s OOC for her. Without further ado..... enjoy the fic! I also only proofread this briefly because i am impatient and hate proofreading, so there may be mistakes sorry lol

A number of stray titans stumble across the fields, maws dripping with saliva, large glassy eyes wide and unblinking. The sight has you gripping the handles of your ODM gear tightly. The pack descends upon the Squad riding in formation next to yours, and despite your impressive track record as a soldier, seeing blood spray from between a titan’s jaw never fails to make you gasp in horror. The soldier’s legs fall from the titan’s mouth, and his fellow squad members scream his name. Their wails of grief make your stomach churn and your breath hitch. Every fibre of your body is on edge, waiting to dive into action. Anger threatens to suffocate you, but you take a few deep inhales, shaking your head. You’d been recently added to the Special Operations Squad for your calm demeanour in the field, and you were not about to let one gruesome death shake you. No, too many lives were at stake.

“We’re engaging,” Levi hisses under his breath the moment it becomes clear that the rest are too distraught to handle the titans themselves. “Bozado, I want you to deal with the 10-metre. Ginn, Schultz, you two dispatch the 12-metre together. Ral, you and I will sort out the 15-metre.” Levi’s piercing gaze suddenly cuts to you as he utters your surname. “I want you to take on that last one.”

You falter, staring at the final titan. It’s almost as large as the one Eld and Gunther would be taking on. Did Levi truly trust you to take it on all by yourself? You, when two seasoned veterans would need to work together to take down another titan of a similar size?

Levi barks your surname again, and you blink. He’s still staring at you, brow furrowed. “Snap out of it. I wouldn’t tell you to do anything I don’t think you’re capable of, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir,” you say firmly. Internally, you chastise yourself. Insecurities get you killed. Hesitation gets you killed. Levi has drilled this into all of you repeatedly for the last few months, and even before your recent promotion into his squad, it is a concept you are more than familiar with.

He nods. His features don’t soften upon your acknowledgement, but his eyes linger on you for a moment, just a moment, before he turns back around. “I don’t want any of you to die on me. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir!” All five of you respond in unison.

“Prepare to engage!” Levi says, before flicking the reins and turning his horse towards the fray. You follow suit, close on his heels. One of the titans, your target, turns its head upon seeing the newcomers. Your resolve hardens, and you feel your features settle into a snarl.

“Switch to gear! Engage!”

You immediately hop up on the saddle of your horse and leaping up into the trees, heading straight towards the final titan your Captain had assigned you to. Muscle memory kicks in, and you grapple onto the nearest branch, determined to land even a single blow on the titan before it breaches the treeline.

Perhaps a younger, greener version of you would’ve taunted the titan, snarling a one-liner that would’ve sounded cool to a fresh-faced recruit in the field for the first time. The cockiness has long since been beaten out of you.

The titan’s arms are long - that would prove to be a problem if you don’t deal with it immediately. Frowning, you hurtle towards the titan from behind, grappling onto a nearby tree. As the wires reel you in, you make a large swipe with your blades, arms aching under the force of your blow. The swords dig into the titan’s left shoulder and cut through bone, muscle and tendons that at first resist but ultimately break to the cold, unforgiving metal of your weapon and the force of your attack.

One arm down. The other follows soon before it can process its left arm has been disabled, which blunts your blades, and the titan is left with useless arms that dangle limply at its sides. Steam erupts from the wounds in its shoulders–lots of it. If you don’t act quickly now, you won’t be able to see a damn thing in all this steam.

You shake your head, draw a new set of blades and push off from the tree.

Grunting, you grapple onto the hip of your target, and in one smooth motion, you glide through the air, swooping low in an arc that has you near skimming the ground. With all your might, you swing your blades through the tendons of the titan’s right foot. Warm, hot titan blood splashes all across your clothes and face, and you curse as the steam begins to occlude your vision. Using the leftover momentum from your first attack, you slash at the other ankle that is hovering mid-step before rapidly retreating, pressing hard on your gas trigger. The titan, unable to stand, topples on its face. The force of its fall reverberates through your bones, but it does not faze you, and the nape is slashed with ease.

Emerging from the steam, you discard your blades. You shake your head with a sigh, you’d wasted two sets of blades on one titan, and half your gas. Around you, chaos has erupted, but you note that Levi and Petra’s target has long since dispatched, its corpse already more bone than flesh, and that after they’d split up to help the others, Levi had made a beeline straight for you.

“No need, sir,” you pant as he lands on the ground in front of you. Ignoring the ache in your upper arms and back from the exertion, you confirm, “it’s dead.”

As Levi surveys the scene in front of him - you, filthy but unhurt, and the steaming corpse of a 12-metre titan lying prone behind you - a traitorous thought creeps into the back of your mind: his eyes are really pretty.

Said pretty eyes snap towards you. “I saw it all,” he says, after a pause. “That was a very efficient kill. Your hard work is paying off.”

You can’t quite believe it, feeling just like the day you’d found out he’d picked you to join his squad. Straight-forwardly positive acknowledgement is so rare from him, yet here he is, dishing it out to you. You - the newest addition to the squad, on your very first expedition as a Special Ops member.

You salute. “Thank you, sir!”

Your heart is still beating furiously from the exertion, though you’re not one hundred percent sure that’s the sole reason. Suddenly, you become hyper aware of the absolute state you were in, drenched in titan blood still steaming off of you. You wipe your forehead with the back of your hand, and when you look down at your hand, it comes away slathered in blood. Something inside you cringes at the sight; perhaps Levi’s clean-freak tendencies are rubbing off on you.

“Here.”

A handkerchief suddenly enters your vision.

His handkerchief.

You pause. This is simply uncharacteristic; Levi always reserves them for himself and his weaponry, he’s always insisting on other people bringing their own. Puzzled, you reach forward. Why would he give you his own handkerchief when one sat in your pocket neatly folded? At his own orders, nonetheless? But you aren’t about to reject his kind offer, so you accept.

“Thanks,” you say, breath hitching as your fingertips graze against his whilst taking the handkerchief. You could swear his breath had stuttered too at that, and that the tips of his ears were a little redder than usual, but Levi is swivelling on his heel and mumbling something about regrouping before you can even stop to think.

You staunchly chalk up the warmth in your cheeks from the physical exertion as you quickly clean up and regroup with the others.

----------

Hair stands up on the back of his neck. That odd yet familiar sensation–the one he has felt ever since that street fight all those years ago–takes over him. The closest thing Levi can liken it to is lightning; raw, unrestrained energy that zips down his spine and awakens his cells.

Trouble is nearby.

He inhales to give the order. In the corner of his eye, he sees you straighten up, feels your eyes on him, attentive. Ever since that expedition where he’d watched you take out a titan all by yourself, Levi has been very hyper aware of every minute movement you made. Every blink, every twitch, every cough. Now, he’d much rather leave the scientific observations to Hange, but as of late, he has observed an interesting dichotomy about you.

How fierce you are on the field, on the training courses. The way you move through the air with your gear; almost dancing upon the wind like the fairies of myth, as if gravity was but a mere rumour to you. He doesn’t doubt you could go toe to toe with him one day, with time and practice.

Yet the moment you are no longer focused on combat, you are soft-spoken and bashful. Levi vividly remembers the moment the two of you had arrived back after your first expedition on his squad. He vividly remembers how flustered you had been when trying to give back his handkerchief - after you had carefully washed it clean, of course. (He’d insisted you keep it. He’s still not sure why.) He’s all too aware of the way you immediately look down and nervously laugh off Eld’s compliments on your ODM gear technique, or the way you fiddle with your ODM straps and shyly squeak ‘yes, please’ when Gunther offers to do something so minimal as to refill your water canteen in an attempt to flirt.

(He has also, coincidentally, observed how a strange, ugly feeling rears up within him upon seeing said squad member flirt with you - and observed he had felt what might be akin to relief when you’d politely rejected Gunther’s proper attempt to ask you on a date.

But, of course, those additional observations that Levi has made are irrelevant.)

It is an endearing contrast, if Levi has to admit it to himself. Your impressive battle prowess outside of the Walls, versus your timid nature off the field. And now, he cannot help but notice you every time you are in his immediate vicinity, cannot help but think about you when you are not.

His throat feels dry all of a sudden. “Something’s wrong.”

“I feel it too,” you say. He raises his brow at that - he doubts you have the same strange, inexplicable instincts he has, but Levi supposes you’ve always been very observant.

“Keep your eyes peeled,” he murmurs, before all hell suddenly breaks loose.

It is madness - the horde of abnormals has gotten the sneak on everyone. His squad splits up soon after the first attack; and he barely has time to even think about how you or his other subordinates are doing, lest he get distracted from his own fights. He falls into the same-old rhythm, a film of clarity sharpening his instincts and honing his movements.

He’s not entirely sure what happens next; the following six hours are a blur of bloodshed and steam.

Perhaps the one good thing about Erwin’s particular methods of record-keeping and his insistence of nearly every foot soldier filling out mission reports is that every gap is filled after the battle. Can’t leave a single stone unturned, the Commander would say, sifting through each and every report - sometimes even forcing Levi into it too, killing two birds with one stone: practicing his literacy, and helping Erwin summarise every soldiers’ perspective of the expedition into a coherent account.

And so this is where Levi finds himself now: holed up in his office, hair still damp from his bath, sifting through the reports his subordinates have handed in before turning in for the night. His hands shake - from relief that all five of you survived to see tomorrow morning, from grief for those who weren’t as lucky, from exhaustion… he’s not sure; he’s never been particularly good at distinguishing how he feels.

As he scribbles down his own report to add to the file he’ll have to hand to Erwin soon, his trigger fingers ache, making it difficult to grip his pen properly. Words form on the page painfully slowly, and he is just about ready to give up on his report and attempt to sleep when he hears a light knock on his door.

He frowns. A quick glance to the clock tells him nobody else should be awake. Everybody else usually passes out from exhaustion around this time.

“Name and business.” He calls.

Your gentle voice reports your surname from the other side. “It’s nothing urgent, but I brought you some tea, sir.”

Tea? “Come in,” he says, a little softer. “What are you doing up so late?”

You nudge open the door with your hip, carefully balancing the tray of tea in your hands. It smells fragrant, but it isn’t his own stash. “I, uh, couldn’t sleep, and wanted to make myself some tea… on my way to the mess hall, I saw the candlelight from under your door, and figured I could make enough for two… if you’d like some.” Your eyes dart around the room nervously, hesitant to meet his own.

“I would. Take a seat.” He gets up and draws the chair opposite to his own seat. You smile softly as you set the tray down, and there it is again, the feeling of butterflies flapping away inside his stomach. “This isn’t the tea I usually drink.”

You look almost doe-eyed, looking up from the drink you are pouring. “Oh, I… yeah, it’s mine. I bought it from the market a couple of weeks ago, it’s a raspberry and lemon blend. Would you like to try it? If not, I can go pour out another pot of the black tea you like, the kettle in the kitchen is still hot.”

Levi’s a man of habit - and rarely does he stray from them. But he finds himself nodding, “no need, I’ll give this a try.”

And oh boy, is he glad he did.

Glancing up at you over the rim of his cup, he says, “it’s nice.” A little tangy and bitter, not too overwhelmingly sweet like he’d expected from a fruity tea blend. You smile bashfully, taking a sip out of your own cup.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Levi watches your eyes wander around the desk, still too shy to hold more than a fraction of a second of eye contact with him. Cute. Then, the sweetly bashful expression from your face drops to a more sombre one upon recognising the half-finished report on his desk, and something in his stomach turns at that. The sight of seeing you so troubled, face suddenly drawn and ashen…

“Was I interrupting your work?” You’re just as quiet as you were before, but now, your words come out more slowly, more resigned.

You could never, is what he wants to say. “No. I was about to stop. It’s fine.” He sifts through the pile of papers, sorts them into a neat pile to one side. The report you’d written somehow makes its way to the top of the pile. He’s already committed the statistics from your report to memory. Half a dozen Scouts confirmed dead, all of them eaten by 2 abnormals that had been killed quickly when you’d arrived on the scene.

Nodding, face downcast, you sip at your tea. There are dark shadows under your eyes where there usually isn’t, and suddenly–

“How’d you do it?”

Levi sets down his cup. “How do I do what?”

You shake your head, your breathing picking up a little. Shoulders tensing, you gesture vaguely with your hands. “I-I don’t know, just… all of it. Staying strong. Continuing to fight even when all seems lost.”

This isn’t like you, all sad and tired and lost. But, he knows this best, guilt and regret twists minds beyond comprehension.

“I’m still looking for the answer to that myself.” Oh, he has not a single idea as to what to say that could truly make you feel better, this has never been his strong suit. “I guess… the knowledge that in the moment, I made the choices I think I’d regret the least, is what keeps my mind clear.” At least for most of the time, he adds, internally. “Is this about what happened today?”

You nod.

He reaches for your report again, smooths the paper flat in the centre of the desk and finds the crucial few lines. “‘I was roughly 425 metres away from the most nearby squad within the formation when a couple of abnormal titans, both of which were capable of running and jumping, strayed from the main horde and targeted them instead.’” He reads out. “‘Levi Squad had been dispersed across the battlefield at this moment in time. Everybody else was engaged in some fight of their own, and I had just finished dispatching a pure titan. I attempted to cross the distance between me and the squad under attack. I estimate that I emptied half my gas in the seconds spent trying to reach them. I was less than 50 metres away when the final soldier that remained, Squad Leader Stein, was seized by the 10-metre abnormal and bitten in half.’” He pauses to take a breath. “You were 425 metres away.”

Catching on to his actions, you shake your head violently. “With the ODM gear, that’s hardly any distance at all, sir–”

“You said it yourself, you used a lot of gas to speed up, but even then, it’s still a fair distance, it still takes time to cross that gap, and those abnormals were fast and smart. You weren’t going to make it in time, no matter how much gas you use.”

“But–” your eyes are looking glassy now, and something zips through him, the desire to hold, protect, comfort - even though he has no idea how. In the heat of the moment, Levi reaches forward, taking your trembling, rough hands into his own.

“Listen to me.”

Her eyes are beautiful.

“You did everything you could for them.”

Tears slip down your cheeks. You squeeze his hands.

Squeezing yours in return, Levi continues to speak despite the warmth creeping onto his face. “You fought well… and maybe my words mean jackshit right now, but…” Why is it so nerve-wracking? “You are not to blame. You hear me? And this is going to be far easier said than done, but I don’t want you losing any sleep over this. You did everything you could.” Unconsciously, his thumb rubs over the back of your hand, and you whimper at the gentle touch.

Gulping, you nod hesitantly.

“Captain, I…”

“What?”

You blink. “Um...” You look down meekly, and Levi feels a tingling in his fingers, the urge to reach further across the table, place two fingers under your chin and gently lift, for someone so wonderful as you should never be ashamed of your tears. Never. “Just… thank you. I… sorry, I didn’t think I’d end up dumping this all on you, but it’s hard.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “I know.”

It is then, in that very moment, your hands interlocked with his, that he realises. Why you’ve been on his mind so much, why he’s been so hyper aware of every little wondrous detail about you, why he wants nothing more than to hold you and cherish you to the end of time.

It all makes sense now.

As the candlewick burns, and the flame dwindles, a pair of soft amber eyes peers into the room. Petra’s fingers curl around the door handle as she fights to keep her breathing even and her eyes dry.

----------

And so it begins.

Unknowingly, you and Levi cross the bridge; what lies between you two is no longer merely professional. With every subsequent late night conversation and shared pots of tea, you toe the line between comrades and something more, blurring it further and further until you see it no longer.

You can’t quite place a finger on what it is that makes you so content in his presence. But, you muse to yourself, looking down at your sleeping superior who’d fallen asleep at his desk when you’d arrived for your nightly conversation, you yearn to find out.

----------

Petra’s been tossing and turning.

It’s been this way since after the first expedition. Being the only two women in the squad, you two share a room and other facilities together. She’s a very good roommate; not only is she an innately organised person, her desire to keep the Captain appeased has improved her housekeeping skills by tenfold. You can’t deny the same thing hasn’t happened to yourself. But lately, she hasn’t been sleeping very well. Exhaustion from Levi’s intense training regimen has you knocked out the moment your head hits the pillow, and that sleep is only ever really interrupted by the occasional nightmare. But more recently, it’s been harder to fall asleep at all, because Petra hasn’t been able to sleep herself. And it isn’t just during nightfall. She’s been growing distant from you, little by little, and you’re ashamed that you hadn’t noticed it earlier, not until:

“Wow,” you pant, collapsing on your bed, “the Captain is really putting us through our paces, isn’t he?”

Petra perches on the edge of her bed, taking her boots off. Her face is still flushed pink from training, ginger hair plastered to her face with sweat. “Yeah,” she pants. “You seem to be doing just fine, though.”

Exhaustion slurs her syllables but you detect something else, an undercurrent of insecurity. “So are you,” you say. “The last twenty minutes of ODM drills? Walls, I could hardly keep up with you.” It’s not even a lie - Petra’s outstanding agility with the gear - rivalling yours and even the Captain’s - is what landed her a spot on the squad in the first place.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, but the smile doesn’t reach her tired eyes. The silence is painfully awkward, and you grimace.

“So… are we still on for our trip to town tomorrow?” It’s your day off.

Petra freezes, shoulders locking up. “Sorry, um, I forgot to tell you, but I’ve actually been double-booked… my father wants me to have dinner with him. I’m sorry, but I haven’t been able to see him for months, so…”

Oh. You sit up on the bed, wincing at the aches and pains in your body. “That’s okay,” you assure her, though alarm bells ring shrilly in the back of your mind. Petra is extremely organised - she would’ve made sure to avoid double-bookings and tell you if something else was going on the moment she’d find out about it.

Something is wrong, but before you can think on it any further, Petra retrieves a fresh set of clothes and mumbles something about heading to the showers.

You’re not entirely sure why she’s been acting a little distant lately, or why she’s suddenly having trouble sleeping, but enough is enough.

“Petra,” you say out loud into the dark, “is everything okay?”

The rustling on the other side of the room pauses. “Just can’t sleep,” Petra responds.

“You haven’t been sleeping too well. And… I can’t help but wonder if it has something to do with me…” Your mouth feels dry. Outside of Titan territory, confrontation is not your strong suit. “You’ve been, um, kind of distant around me lately. And you’re not sleeping well either. Have I done anything to upset you?”

Petra’s breath hitches. “No,” she says quickly. “You haven’t, I promise. I’ve just… been all up in my head lately, that’s all. Sorry if I’ve been keeping you up with my tossing and turning.”

“No, no… Petra, please. Talk to me?” Where has your friend gone? When you’d first joined and began training with her, she was the first person to befriend you. Even though Levi is now the closest person in the Corps, it used to be her, not too long ago, and you feel a little lost. Where has the time gone? How have you grown so distant so fast?

Petra responds with silence, and you wait with baited breath.

“Petra?”

More silence. You feel your heart fall; have you truly lost a friend?

You resign yourself to never knowing what is on her mind, before a voice, wet and wavering, cuts through the darkness, blurting out a question you’d never thought you’d hear.

“What do you think of Captain Levi?”

Levi? You’re stunned, what does this have to do with anything? Despite your confusion, something flutters in your chest at the very mention of his name. You sigh, burying your cheek into your pillow. “He’s a good man,” you begin. “A little rough around the edges, but I never doubted for a moment the kind of person he truly is. I can’t think of anybody else I’d rather fight alongside. And I…” you find yourself floundering for a moment. How could you even possibly begin to delve into what has occurred between you and Levi these past few months? How could you–

The realisation hits you like lightning.

Shaken by the discovery, you bring your knees to your chest underneath the sheets, the breath stolen from your lungs.

Of course. How had you not seen it later?

“So you do have feelings for him.” Petra interprets the silence correctly, dejected. She’s always been perceptive.

Her words are the final nail in the coffin, the final piece in the puzzle. “And you do, too,” you whisper, feeling your eyes burn. “Petra, I… I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I didn’t want you to know.” She sniffles. “How could I even begin to explain something like this to you when you two just looked so… happy together?”

“We’re not together,” you say quickly. “Not like that.”

“No. Not yet, but it’s bound to happen in one way or the other. Don’t you see the way he looks at you? Like… like you’re the first rays of sun that seep over the horizon in the morning? Like you’re the first snowdrop that blooms after a harsh snowstorm? Like…” Petra gasps for breath, but manages to steady herself to finish her words. “Like you’re the hearth that keeps his home warm?”

You’re horribly conflicted - the very idea of Levi holding you in the same regard makes you so unbelievably happy, but at the cost of the woman you’d once considered your best friend? You shake your head furiously. “Petra…”

“Because I do. I see, I see how he looks at you. And I know that look, how c-could I not? H-he looks at you, like I look at him. Like I’ve always looked at him.” She descends into sobs.

You can’t take it anymore. Flinging the blankets off your body, you shoot out of bed and cross the room, perching carefully at the edge of the bed. Tears carve hot and wet trails on your cheeks, but you reach forward, fumbling in the dark. “I’m sorry,” you whisper in between Petra’s muffled sobs, “I’m sorry that I’ve been causing you so much heartbreak this whole time.” You stroke her heaving back through the sheets.

Petra shudders underneath your touch, riding out the sobs for a few minutes. When her breathing begins to steady, she gently pushes your hand aside. “It’s okay,” she whimpers, as she pulls herself up into a seated position. “It’s not like… it’s not like either of us could’ve controlled our feelings, you know? It’s not like we could’ve done anything about who he’d fall for, too.”

Guilt tugs at your heartstrings, and you sigh. “I’m sorry,” you say again, and you hate it, hate how hopeless and useless you’re being.

“Don’t be,” Petra repeats a little more firmly. “I… look, I’ll need some time to fully process this. But Captain Levi deserves to know happiness. And if it’s with you… who am I to stop that?” Her thin slender arms come to wrap around your frame, and you feel her head rest on your shoulder. She squeezes you tight, and you choke back a sob - it had been so, so long since you and Petra had talked for more than ten seconds, let alone hugged.

“Thank you. You’ll find happiness one day,” you try to assure her. “You deserve it.”

She nods. “I never meant for us to drift so far, but… I couldn’t bear the heartbreak, at the time. I wanted it to be me so desperately, but that doesn’t… that doesn’t justify how distant I’ve been… Walls, I really missed you.”

You hold her tighter, fingers curling in the fabric of her shirt. Closing your eyes, you sigh, and smile. “I missed you, too.”

----------

The alcohol simmers in your stomach, warming you up from the core, loosening your lips. Eld had invited all of you to his house to celebrate his engagement, and his fiancée, the daughter of a sommelier, had offered you all a glass or two of red wine. Not the cheap stuff that a Scout salary can just about afford, but the drinks served to the Walls’ noblemen and councillors. Suffice to say that you all had more than just the one or two glasses originally planned, and Eld and his fiancée had ushered you out of their house several hours later than expected.

“Sir?”

“What?” Levi responds. The two of you walk side by side, pressed up against one another. Fuck - it had been far too long since you’d had something to drink, your prior tolerance is all but gone. You can’t convince yourself that you’re not leaning on him a little to keep upright.

“Are you drunk?” He asks when you don’t respond.

“I’m fine,” you insist pointedly, “I’m only a bit tipsy.” To emphasise your point, you lift one hand and demonstrate just how tiny that ‘bit’ is, your thumb and pointer finger literally touching.

Levi raises his brow. “Sure you are.”

“I’m not drunk,” you insist.

“You’re such a lightweight.”

“Everyone’s a lightweight compared to you.”

Levi chuckles–actually chuckles, the sound sending butterflies flapping wildly inside of you–and slips an arm around your shoulders. You sigh. Perhaps he’s not as sober as he’s pretending to be either.

You pout. “You’re one to talk. You’re pretty tipsy, too.”

He shakes his head. “That’s a bold assumption. I’m just making sure you don’t trip over yourself and eat shit.”

“That’s very…” you smack your lips, wracking your brain for the right word, “chivalrous of you, Cap’n, thank you.”

“Is it?”

You nod. “Mm hm.”

The two of you trail behind the rest of the squad (bar Eld, who’s staying behind with his fiancée tonight) as you all walk back to the barracks - Gunther and Oluo have both slipped their arms around Petra, who walks in the middle, and though you and Levi are too far away to make out their conversation, the boisterous tone of their voices and their tipsy giggles are carried to your ears by the wind. You smile. Ever since the conversation with Petra, she’s been returning gradually to her old self. You sometimes catch sad, longing glances towards Levi whenever she thinks nobody is looking, but they are growing rarer and rarer. All you’ve ever wanted is for your friend to be happy, and for one day to find love.

Love - what a concept. You’ve hardly come to terms with it - love is something so sprawling and all-encompassing and just… it’s something you do not understand, and it terrifies you.

And yet.

What is it that they call alcohol, liquid courage?

You’re done being scared and insecure and uncertain. You’re courageous on the battlefield. Why not off it, too?

Here goes.

“Captain, have I ever told you that I might be falling in love with you, just a teensy tiny little bit?”

Levi freezes on the spot, which halts you mid-step as well. You stumble with the abrupt stop, but Levi’s arms tighten around you, quickly rightening your balance. “What?” He croaks, eyes blown wide.

Your face is burning - and not just because of the alcohol. The courage fades as quickly as it came. “Um, actually, maybe… maybe more than a little bit,” you mumble. Now, you feel the chilly evening breeze nip at your cheeks, as you begin to sober up.

The warm orange glow of the lamp makes Levi’s cheeks look all the more round and rosy. He’s utterly breathtaking. “You’re falling in love with me?”

Your next words are hardly more than a whisper. “How could I not?” How could you not, when he made it so easy to fall?

Your Captain draws closer. Heart thrashing wildly against your ribcage, you reach forward. He’s ethereal up close - you can see the flecks of pale blue in his silver eyes, the way the golden lamplight glints off his delicate lashes, you can smell his faint cologne…

His hand gingerly rests on the small of your back, tugging you closer until you are flush against his chest. A small gasp escapes you; he is so close, your blood is roaring in your ears and you want nothing more than to close your eyes and lean in and lose yourself in him–

Warm, soft lips meet yours.

Oh. Oh.

Levi kisses you softly, gently. As if it is his first and his last. You melt in his embrace, worshipping his lips with your own, all thoughts fading away into pure blissful ecstasy. Running your fingers through his soft hair, you hum contentedly. The world fades away, the cold replaced with warmth, and oh, how you wish you could slow down time, stop it, and build yourself a home in this wonderful, beautiful moment.

“By the Walls!” Someone yells in the background, almost cutting through the haze you and Levi have lost yourselves in. It sounds vaguely like Petra. “They’re kissing! They’re kissing–Oluo, Oluo, damn it, turn around, you’re missing this, they’re finally doing it and you’re missing it, and Gunther, you better pay up, I knew something was going to happen between them tonight, I knew it–”

You laugh into another kiss, and Levi’s thumb brushes your cheek as his hands cup your face. When you part, you chase his warm, soft lips with a sigh, but he pulls back.

“I might be falling in love with you, too. More than just a little bit.”

“How much more?”

He chuckles and pecks your lips. “If you stay by my side, and we fight together… we’ll have all the time in the world to find out just how much.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Smiling, you cup the back of his neck and pull him in for more.

And so it begins.

Masterlist

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x y/n #levi fanfiction #levi fanfic #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #levi x oc #levi ackerman x oc

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the-lady-writes-what · 7 months

Text

How the Brothers react to you riding them, Lucifer

Pretty much All Porn/No Plot, so minors be warned (and stay out)

Content: cowgirl and switches to missionary, praise, sub! reader, bondage, use of "good girl," slightly condescending Lucifer, slightly mean Lucifer, creampie, mild cum play

These are all my own head canons. Don't be mean about it.

Asmo Levi Mammon Beel Belphie Satan

🔞NSFW Content Below! 18+ Only! Minors DNI!🔞

Headcanons:

I know for a fact this man is packing. You can't tell me he doesn't have a dick that matches his pride. The literal incarnation of Vanity and Pride is not going to be small. You will need some prep first

Lucifer only lets you on top if you've been a really good girl

He can and WILL turn the tables on you if you're too slow or not working for it and put you on your back

On a slightly sillier note, Lucifer will put on some music to warn his brothers not to enter. It's usually classical music or jazz (don't ask me why, I just have a feeling). Blasting "Unholy" by Sam Smith ft. Kim Petras is also on the table (again, don't ask)

Oh? You wanted to ride him so badly, well, you're going to have work for it. Lucifer is going to lay back and watch you ride him, struggling to keep a fast pace like he demands. No, no, don't stop. You wanted this remember? There just no end in sight. He's a demon, what did you expect his stamina to be?

He likes watching your face twist up and your hips move up and down him, the sweat beading down your face and neck.

If he's in a particularly sadistic mood, Lucifer with tie your hands behind your back or hold your wrists

All that being said, Lucifer isn't a complete monster. He sees you working really hard on chasing that orgasm. You're doing so well, you're such a good girl for him. You're riding his cock perfectly. Yes, just like that.

Seeing as he probably has the most discipline out of all the brothers, I bet he can come for days. I'm not even joking. When I say that he could come for five minutes straight, I'm not exaggerating. Plus, he's a demon.

Hot. You felt so hot. Like, impossibly hot. You were naked as the day you were born, not a thing on you except Lucifer's tie wrapped around your wrists and binding your hands behind your back. Sweat beaded down the side of your face and neck like fat diamonds. Lucifer, beneath you, was equally undressed but looking cool as a cucumber. You straddled his hips. His cock buried inside you to the hilt.

Lucifer smirked up at you, laughing as you struggling to take him. He shifted his hips ever so slightly and made you whimper.

"What's the matter, MC?" Asked Lucifer. "You said you can take it?"

"I-I can." You whined.

"So do it, then. Ride me like you mean it," said Lucifer.

You bounced up and down his cock with renewed fervor. Your nails dug into your forearms, biting into your skin. You chewed on your bottom lip. Lucifer filled you up so nicely, so completely. The fit was snug even after having Lucifer eat you out and edge you for what felt like eternity. You shivered each time you slammed your hips down and took him all the way into your body. With that smug look on his face, Lucifer was of no help to you. After all, you wanted this, as he reminded you.

"L-Lucifer..."

"Yes, love?"

"Please...I need more. I want to come so bad."

"Oh? You want to come, do you?" Said Lucifer. He bucked his hips upwards.

Your eyes rolled back into your skull as Lucifer rocked up into you. You panted and moaned for him. The music hiding your cries were a godsend, if the phrase could be pardoned at such a time and place. You'd be mortified if Lucifer's brothers heard you screaming out his name. Lucifer had classical music playing in the background as you fucked yourself on his cock. Nothing with lyrics to distract you from Lucifer's voice.

"Come on, MC. I know you can take it. I know you can take so much more than this. All you have to do is say the words."

You moved your hips up and down and to the rhythm Lucifer set. White-hot, scorching heat enveloped your brain. Gods, you needed to come so bad.

"L-Lucifer, please...please fuck me. Please, sir. I need it." You pleaded.

A broad, wicked smile crossed his face. "Good girl," said Lucifer.

In a flash, you were on your back and looking up at the ceiling. Lucifer came into your vision to tower over you when you're most vulnerable. Without ever pulling out, he started fucking you with wild abandon. Lucifer draped your legs over his shoulders. This position allowed him more access and reach deeper than before. He lifted your hips and lower back off the mattress, a small mercy on your hands tied behind you at the based of your spine. At least this way your body wasn't squishing your bound hands.

"May this be a lesson you remember, MC, about trying to biting off more than you can chew." Lucifer grunted as he slammed into you over and over.

Your toes curled as he pounded you into the mattress. You couldn't help but squeeze your eyes shut while Lucifer instilled in you inhuman pleasure. Nobody else could have you the way he did. Lucifer ruined all others, and perhaps that was his goal all along. He didn't demand you look at him like he usually did when he had you in the throws of orgasmic bliss. The fact that you didn't have to see him to acknowledge who you belonged to. Your body spoke for itself as you clenched down on his thick cock. You drenched Lucifer's cock and his sheets. You finished with the loudest, most lewd scream.

Lucifer still fucked you while you turned into a limp rag doll for him. You watched him chase his own high. His cock spread you open, your juices already making a mess of him. He gripped your hips. His nails bit into your skin. A surge of power summoned his true form. Lucifer sprouted horns and four ink-black wings. A diamond formed between his brows. He opened his mouth to grunt and moan, revealing small fangs where blunt teeth used to be.

Like this, he was worse than an animal inside you. A demon's stamina went unmatched and they had little sense for the weaknesses of their mortal partners. Like this, Lucifer lost himself. He was driven by this innate desire to possess you in totality. The perfect diamond in the middle of his forehead was unwrinkled though his brows formed a sharp V-shape. Lucifer's looked almost bestial.

You clenched your knees around his head. A challenge. Lucifer reached underneath you and grabbed your shoulders from behind. Your bodies collided with little space between. Lucifer plastered you to his bed as he rocked his cock deep and fast inside your body. That smug look of his was replaced by a snarling mouth uttering things you wouldn't repeat to anyone.

"Don't think for a second..." Lucifer grunted. "That you're in control here. You're my human. I control everything. I'm the master here, and don't you dare forget that!"

There was nowhere for you to go even if you wanted to. Lucifer rutted into you while his wings shielded you from the lights in his room. The music seemed to grow louder and more dramatic. Lucifer leaned down and sunk his teeth into your neck. Your back arched off the bed, leaving just your shoulders pressed into the mattress. Pleasure surged through your body again. A tightly wound-up spring snapped again. If you were able, you would have scraped Lucifer's back between his wings with your nails. Your toes curled so much that your feet cramped up and the pain shot up your leg to your ankle.

"LUCIFER!" You screamed as the orchestral music reached its crescendo.

Lucifer licked up the bit of blood he drew out from your flesh. Satisfied with his mark, he pumped more gently. The demon was tamed, for now.

"Good girl, good girl," Lucifer chanted.

His hips faltered, his eyes screwed tight, and his body went rigid. Lucifer grunted as he finished inside you. He marked you from the inside with his come spreading like a warm blanket in your lower belly. Lucifer took his sweet time pulling out after releasing rope after rope of come deep inside. His eyes widened a bit as he watched your cunt spill some of it out. Lucifer pushed back inside what tried to escape while kissing you deep. You writhed beneath him and moaned. You rocked your hips against his fingers, almost taking them inside your cunt.

"That's my girl," he cooed in your ear. "Always hungry for me. Shall we go again?"

#obey me! shall we date?#obey me!#om!#lucifer #om! lucifer #x reader #fem reader #female reader #18+ only #minors DNI #minors do NOT interact #lemon scented goodness #smut #obey me! smut

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avariantflaire · 5 months

Text

Levi wasn't ready to lose her.

In this period of grief, we see him stoop down by the smallest body in the line-up to recover their Scouts patch. It is the first and only time we ever see him do this in the series.

For someone whose philosophy is to make a choice with no regrets, regardless of the outcome; for someone who takes much time and care to reflect over his fallen comrades; we never see a scene like this again for the rest of SNK. He experiences this "Crushing Blow" (title of S1 E21, where his squad is slaughtered), and in "The Defeated" (S1 E22), stops to gaze - what was that, in his gaze? - at Petra's broken body by the tree.

Then he takes Petra's, and only Petra's, patch.

For every battle before and each battle henceforth, he comes prepared to lose everything. But in this one expedition, for this one soldier, he didn't. So he takes her patch.

"It's proof that they existed, at least for me." (Levi, in The Defeated)

He needed proof that she existed, because he wasn't ready to lose her.

#rivetra #levi x petra #levipet #aot #snk #yes a meme where levi's got a closet packed to the brim with scouts' patches flashed briefly in my mind #but unless he can afford to have such a collection #unless he can /reasonably/ take every soldiers' patch #he would most certainly only choose to take the proof of existence of those closest to him #or at the very least #those important to him #and it's petra #analysis.vtf #what now strikes me though is that he never takes a memento from erwin #unless you count erwin's final order as that memento #or even armin himself #but that is a whole other post!#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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levi-my-beloved · 2 years

Text

Chapter Four: The Ackerbond Loves

Pairing: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Warnings: SMUT, so. much. smut. like maybe the best i’ve ever written who knows, standard hj we love those here, Levi being a dumb hoe, reader being a dumb hoe, heavy themes of abuse, implied abuse victim, coping mechanisms, reader almost dying cuz Gunther’s ass is so thick (canon).

A/N: this is almost 20k words. i’ve decided against being apologetic because i think we all know what i'm like at this point. enjoy the good times now because it’s about to get a whole lot worse :)

GO SHOW @peace-for-levi ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD FOR LITERALLY BETA READING 19 THOUSAND WORDS OF INCOHERENT GARBAGE. fr i need to buy you a drink or sommin

AND NATURALLY, credit to @levmada for the conceptttt <3

Taglist: @levmada @awesomeness1679 @purplecandygerl @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @pluvio-pluto @midnightbarnes97 @aresclouds @imkumichan @xxpadfootxx @cmjh3 @justa19 @notgoodforlife @leviackermanmyhero245 @kaea-peverall @jakillski @macaronnv @natalie-skz @oldtownwonderland @snailsposts @lunardeiity @clusiesuzie @hi-imkaiya @isabellawigginss @ackermandick @orionsalos @disaster-writer @temariskadi @nariko1989 @elizaack @dixie-chick @death-by-bullseye

The moment your squad approached the old Scout HQ after half a day’s ride, your heart instantly sank. Cobblestone bricks veined with deep green moss, dried dead vines hanging limply from every archway, windows filthy with years of grime, abandoned to run amok.

You sighed heavily to the natural ambiance of Oluo once again biting down on his tongue, and Petra’s scolding tone. Though the late afternoon light cast a picturesque glow on the old castle, you really didn’t feel like suffering through an intense cleaning spree. Though, of course, it was inevitable.

Hooves clacked against the change of terrain as you slowed to a gentle stop. It was peaceful here, away from the city and the bustling crowds of busy tradesmen. Only the distant sound of birds could be heard from the surrounding trees. It was pretty beautiful.

“Nice place,” you murmured to Eld as you dismounted, running your stirrups up the leathers so they wouldn’t bumble against your horse’s flanks as she walked. “Shame about the weeds though.”

“And I bet the inside’s a shambles. This place hasn’t been used for years,” he responded, slapping two pats against the side of his horse’s neck. You placed a hand on your hip, opening your mouth to respond, before instantly closing it again upon Levi’s interruption.

“In which case we have a problem. Best grab a broom and get to work.”

You stifled your groan of agony. Seriously? Cleaning? After that ride? The sky was just fading into early evening and Levi wanted to clean? Inevitable, yes. Fair? Absolutely not.

You and Eld looked at each other briefly, before sighing as Petra took both your horses. You cursed her as she silently claimed grooming duty. Why couldn’t you have been that smart? She sent you a knowing smirk from over her shoulder, as if she knew what you were thinking.

You instantly flipped her off.

“Eld! Wanna take the windows with me?” Once again, you were too slow to claim a good job as Gunther stepped up before you even had a chance to suggest something. The windows seemed so easy! All you had to do was wash off the grime! So you weren’t surprised when Eld agreed, not so much as sending you a glance before striding off to grab a bucket and cloth. Oluo had, of course, gone off to do his own thing, which left you with Levi. A strangely ideal situation, all things considered.

“I hate you for this,” you deadpanned, still looking up at the monstrous task facing you.

“No, you don’t.” Levi responded, coming to stand at your side and following your gaze up at the castle. You fought down the urge to take his hand. Now is not the time, nor the place to try and figure out what the hell you two were.

Levi was in no better position. Whatever happened yesterday was stuck in his head. Your lidded gaze, soft lips, gentle smile… it was all pinned to a wall for his mind’s eye to stare at longingly. Glancing at you, he saw your lips in a forceful pout, and knew you were trying to suppress a smile. He, too, almost took your hand, fingers outstretched to hook your fingers together.

“Uh, Captain Levi Sir?”

He swore then and there that if he was ever interrupted with you again, he would slash the throat of whoever barged in. “What?”

Eren cleared his throat behind you, and you turned as well, taking slight pity on him. It couldn’t be easy, trying to slip seamlessly into such a tight knit squad. You’d all almost completely forgotten he was here, only Oluo running his mouth to the ‘Greenhorn’. Poor fucking kid.

“Just start cleaning, Eren. This place is a shithole and we have standards. You can start on the top floor and work your way down. We’ll meet you somewhere in the middle,” you instructed, pointing to the large double doors in front of you. “Petra should be back soon, but it’s up to her whether or not she decides to join you.” You threw a sideways glance in the direction of the stables, knowing full well she would be taking her time.

Not that you could blame her.

“Got it!” Eren saluted stiffly, before running off to find himself a broom and a cloth. Once again, his enthusiasm sent a shiver down your spine, being reminded of Oluo’s overly enthusiastic, kiss-ass attitude. You knew Eren was just eager to prove himself, but he could tone it down just a little.

“Someone’s eager to please.” Levi muttered to you, and you sighed in response.

“Can’t blame him really. He’s been thrown into a situation where suddenly the fate of humanity rests on whether or not he can prove his worth. Not to mention his life. If he fails here, he’s dead. It’s no wonder he’s eager to please.”

You hadn’t meant to ramble on. You knew Levi didn’t really mean anything by it, but you felt the need to justify Eren anyway. You sure as shit wouldn’t want to have been beaten to a bloody pulp, thrown in with the Special Operations Squad, scrutinised by both the Scouts and the Military Police, before being forced to sit through one of Oluo’s “you’re new here so let me mansplain everything to you.” Honestly, maybe death was more favourable.

Levi softened infinitely at your far-away expression, having another war with himself to not take your hand. “It’s a miracle how you made it this far with a heart that big.”

How the fuck he said that with the utmost nonchalance you will never know, because your mind completely shut down, barely managing a breathy, shaky laugh. Your heart beating with the thunder of a galloping horse, you turned to look at him, only to see him looking back at you slightly wide-eyed. Could he feel your sudden change in demeanour, or was he looking like that because he’d only just realised what he said. You hoped to the fucking Walls it was the second option.

Managing to recover somewhat, your lips reluctantly pulled into a small smile. “If you wanna talk about big hearts, let’s talk about Evelyn, hm?”

It was Levi’s turn to blank. Hating his blood for dusting across his cheeks, burning in his ears. Fuck, he’d walked straight into that one. But, as you relaxed with your smile becoming a little more genuine, Levi silently agreed that it was worth it. “You’re right… She does have a big heart.” His chest bloomed with your faux irritation, with the way you forced your face to fall. But he could see you were struggling to keep your expression, and Levi barely managed to stifle a laugh when you chose to start walking away instead.

“I hate you and you know that’s not what I meant.” If only you could hear the smile in your voice. Levi vaguely wondered if you would fall for yourself the same way he’s fallen for you. He went to tell you that, once again, you most definitely do not hate him, before a bolt of agony lashed through his head and his eyes lost focus.

On instinct he reached out for your arm and viciously tugged you back into him, and you didn’t have time to question what the fuck he thought he was doing before the deafening crash and slosh of a full, steel waterbucket cracked against the ground behind you.

You stayed there for a moment, face nestled in the soft cloth of his cravat, only barely processing what happened.

Levi kept his steady hold around you as his eyes refocused on the fallen, badly dented bucket, horrified by the idea that, had he not pulled you back, you would most likely be dead right now. The thought made him tighten his arms around you.

“You alright?” His voice was the soft, steady anchor you needed to keep you grounded, deep vibrations soothing the heart that now raced for an entirely different reason. This was achingly similar to the first time he saved your life this way, seeing your fate and stepping in to change it. Achingly similar to the way he continued to hold you after, soothing your trembling muscles. Admittedly this wasn’t nearly as terrifying as being in the clutches of a titan, but you were still a little shaken.

“Yeah… yeah I’m fine,” you nodded, reluctantly stepping out of his arms and looking back to the turned over bucket, the cobbles now a darker shade of grey where the water had tipped out. “This bond coming in clutch once again, huh?”

Levi saw through it. He always could. He saw through your flippant attempt at humour, knew it was just you trying to maintain your composure. But he was learning your tells. Learning how you kept a brave face so seemingly easily. Staring at whatever nearly happened was one of them. He didn’t think when he gently pulled your chin back to look at him, quickly scanning your face, tighter than usual with anxiety. He took a deep breath, wordlessly forcing you to do the same. The faintly echoing heartbeat in his chest calmed.

“You’re okay.” He tucked a slightly loose strand of your hair back into place, and watched with proud satisfaction as you untensed. Deciding to push his luck slightly, he grazed the pad of his thumb over your cheekbone, heart glowing as you leaned into the touch ever so slightly. His skin prickled, and he couldn’t tell whether it originated from you, or whether that was just the effect touching you had on him. Whatever it was, you felt it as well, obvious by your slight shiver.

Levi dropped his hand as panicked footsteps raced down the wooden staircase, both turning to greet a panting, sweating Eld, looking wide-eyed and terrified between you two through the open doorway.

“Fucking– is everyone okay?” He asked through laboured breaths. You smiled through a soft chuckle, trying to reassure the clearly stressed blonde as he fiddled with the hem of his jacket.

“Yeah, we’re–”

“You almost fucking killed her.” You’d never heard Levi speak to his own squad with such venom in his tone. If they’d done something stupid like almost died, he would just tell them flatly to not do it again. He’d never really had a go at any of them, not in the same way you’d seen him have a go at Hange. But this… this was more similar to the time Oluo almost died in one of her titan crazed moments, when he’d held them by the collar and borderline spat in their face. You moved forward to mask the way you quickly held and squeezed his arm. A subtle, but meaningful gesture.

Eld looked like he was about to faint. “I’m so sorry! Gunther and his fat ass. Idiot knocked it back off the roof squatting to fix his gear. Fuck, we didn’t think anyone would be–”

“–Eld, I’m fine. I promise. Look” – you held your hands up in front of you, turning a full circle so he could see – “no damage. I’m absolutely fine.” You implored until you heard him breathe out a sigh of relief, thankful both that you were okay, and his balls wouldn’t be roasted over an open fire.

“Tell Gunther to watch where he’s shitting next time.” You turned back to Levi, who had seemed to have calmed down significantly. Though there was still a slight bite in his voice, he wasn’t nearly as blindingly furious as he was a few seconds ago. Was that because of you? Or because it was a genuine accident? It was difficult to tell.

Eld nodded all too eagerly, wiping a bead of sweat from his brow with the heel of his palm. Oh you were totally teasing him about this later. That was until he looked between you and Levi again, his expression completely different from before. He looked… knowing. Almost proud. You narrowed your eyes at him in threatening confusion, and he simply shook his head with a smile, and turned away back up the stairs.

“You two are so fucking weird together,” Levi commented, stepping up to stand next to you again. You gaped at him with incredulity.

“Shut up!”

“Didn’t you like him at one point?” He smirked at you out of the corner of his eye, and you groaned.

“Was I really that obvious?”

“About as obvious as Hange’s love for titans.”

You groan again, slightly louder. Levi tried his fucking best not to imagine the sound in… other situations. “Clearly not obvious enough, the bastard never even realised until after I’d moved on!” you lamented, gathering a few cloths from the table inside the front hall and removing his jacket from your shoulders before hanging it on the back of a chair.

He folded his arms, surveying you with a raised brow. “How do you know?”

“We spoke about it yesterday when walking to the market. We were just talking about– stuff” – that was a little too close – “and it sort of just came up in conversation. Turns out we’re both just morons.”

“That’s for sure.”

“...Levi, that was your opportunity to disagree.”

“Why would I disagree with facts?”

He barely dodged the cloth you threw at him, once again your irritated façade cracking easily. “Go get your special cleaning doily and join me upstairs. I cannot stand to see your face right now.” An obvious lie.

“It’s not a doily, doilies are made of lace.”

“And you would know that how?” You asked, drawling. Levi pulled a lopsided smile at you, answering with a single word that had you cackling with laughter when he left to grab his kit.

“Evelyn.”

It was late evening by the time Levi deemed the castle spotless enough to hole up in for a few weeks. Everybody was drained by the time the squad had gathered in a small dining room in what you assumed would have been the servant’s wing. Tea in hand, you engaged in idle chatter with the rest of your squad, waiting for the arrival of Levi and Eren.

“So wait, you think Nifa and Moblit have something going on?” Petra asked to a smug looking Gunther across the table, who nodded in confirmation. “You were there at the last strip poker game, right? He could barely tear his eyes off Hange and they barely took anything off!” She argued with a vigour that made you laugh. Her hazel eyes turned to you, wide eyed in desperate need of support. “You’ve heard the way she talks about–”

“Petra!” You had to stop her before she revealed one of Nifa’s deepest secrets. Eld and Oluo seemed to perk up instantly.

“Oh, you can’t do that to us!”

“Come on, no secrets in the squad, remember?”

Eld looked to you at that comment, raising a pointed brow. You sent him another confused look, but he simply looked away and back to the conversation at hand. You were confident nobody was around to see what happened earlier, so what the hell he could be referring to other than that, you had no idea.

“That’s not fair, because this isn’t my secret. It’s Nifa’s, so butt out of it, all of you,” Petra held firm, folding her arms against the disappointed looks and huffs from the men.

You hummed a soft laugh, your heart glowing with fondness for this group of people. And of course, the one missing.

It’s as if he were summoned by your fleeting thought about him, both Levi and the newest addition to your squad came through the door from the left, Eren looking a little despondent. You assumed he just found out where he’d be sleeping… Poor kid.

“They here yet?” You shook your head as Levi took a seat at the head of the table to your right. Though nobody ever expected Hange to be on time. It was somewhat of a habit that they were always late to meetings, missions, even the start of their own expeditions, usually caught up in some research or experiment and didn’t notice the rest of the regiment going grey when waiting for them. “Might as well do introductions whilst we wait then. Eren, this is the Special Operations squad,” Levi continued, and you noticed the rest of your comrades straightening in their seats when being introduced. For ease, he introduced you first. “My Second, but you already knew that.”

“Wait, you’ve met already?” Gunther piped up from the other side of the table. “How’s that fair?”

“I was at the trial.” You explained swiftly, earning yourself a look of sudden understanding from the rest of your inquiring squad. Though Oluo audibly huffed from his seat, clearly perturbed that he wasn’t the one invited. Levi went on to introduce everyone else, who in turn greeted Eren in their own ways. Petra with a bright smile, Eld with a friendly wave, Gunther with a lopsided grin and of course Oluo with some kind of backwards insult. Naturally.

“These are the people who won’t hesitate to put you down if you go ape shit out there. I hand picked them all for a reason. Don’t fuck up, and we won’t have a problem. Do fuck up, and they have strict permission to act accordingly. Personally, I wouldn’t want to find myself at the end of any of their blades.” High praise coming from Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. A flare of pride flashed in your chest, despite already knowing he recognised everybody’s potential years ago. That’s why you were all here. Because you were deemed strong enough by the strongest soldier alive. You glanced around the table to see your comrades looking in similar ways to you. Gritty determination shining in the low light.

“I… I understand, Sir. It’s nice to meet you all.” You had to admire the kid. Even in the face of his potential killers, he managed to keep some semblance of collectiveness. From what you’d heard, Eren could be quite hotheaded. Not unlike yourself at times. There were certain things in yourself you hoped to see in this kid, and certain things you hoped to fuck stayed away.

Before the silence prolonged any further, a loud pair of footsteps echoed down from the door on the left. The barred door on the left. You almost slapped your forehead before the inevitable impact even happened.

Petra sighed, rising from her seat to remove the wooden bolt from the door, and allowing an excited looking Hange, rubbing the side of their head. You almost couldn't believe it, having not expected them to arrive until much later. You smiled in lighthearted surprise.

“Gooooood evening, Levi squad! How’s castle life treating ya?” Hange’s ability to lighten up a room was always something you admired. You remembered Levi asking why you liked hanging out with them so much. Honestly, this was why. Their boundless energy rubbed off on those around them, though of course he seemed to be immune. But you enjoyed watching the antics, and smiling at Moblit’s frazzled looks. It was a nice return to some kind of normality after an expedition.

Your eyes slid to Eld opposite you, whose smile mirrored your own. He too found Hange amusing to watch, the scientist often being a popular topic of conversation between the two of you. Your hands steepled in front of your mouth, hiding your subtle laugh.

“You’re early.” Levi responded, taking a long sip of the tea that was waiting for him when he joined you all. Judging from the above par taste, you’d made it. You were getting better at that. He tried to stop his heart blossoming at the thought.

“Am I? Well I suppose I couldn’t wait. Hi, Eren! I hope this lot have been treating you well.” You watched Hange jovially drag a chair over to where the teen was sitting next to Oluo. You snorted quietly at the unsure look on Eren’s face. “Excited to start experimenting?! Levi! What’s Eren doing tomorrow?”

“Cleaning out the weeds.” You glanced at his impassive expression of boredom. You didn’t envy whoever would be taking over that role as gardener, but if it was you, you would genuinely walk back to Trost.

“Excellent! We’ll start tomorrow then!” You all collectively groaned at the idea, hoping to have at least a day of rest before Hange started their rampage. You all just hoped he didn’t ask–

“Uh, what experiments will we be doing?”

The entire room stopped, staring wide-eyed at the poor kid, who had no idea what he’d just done. Though you couldn’t see, you could fucking hear Hange’s eyes light up at the idea of explaining her theories to this naïve teen.

“I knew it. You possess a singularly curious mind…”

Nope. Absolutely not.

Simultaneously, your entire squad stood from their seats, including Levi. Eren had made his bed by asking Hange a question, something one should never do, and now he must lie in it. Alone. Every single one of you left without a word, quietly closing the door behind you.

“That poor, poor kid,” Eld muttered to you as you climbed the stairs. You hummed in agreement.

“I wonder how long they’ll keep him there… I hope it’s not another one of those overnight things. Nobody deserves that, not even Nile.” You responded, taking his teacup from his hands. He let you without a word.

“Didn’t they say they’d start experimenting tomorrow? How does Hange expect him to do anything if he’s already exhausted?” Petra asked.

She allows you to take her own cup as well. It was sort of an unspoken rule. You hated the idea of dirty dishes festering overnight, even something as simple as tea cups. But the rest of your squad didn’t share in this hatred, only Levi seemed to understand where you were coming from. So it was sort of expected that since it was your issue, you would be the one to fix it. Not that you were mad. You actually kind of liked it that way.

Gunther stacked his own onto Petra’s, Oluo handing you his after. You weren’t really surprised when Levi broke off from the group, though he was still holding his own. That did take you by surprise, but you knew better than to question.

“Doesn’t concern us anyhow. Go get some rest, all of you. If we start tomorrow, I have a feeling we’ll all need it.” You instructed with a heavy sigh, gaining nods of agreement from your comrades, and several bids of goodnight. Eld lingered for a moment, and you instantly knew he had something to say, but was hesitating. “Go on, spit it out before it dies.”

Eld cleared his throat. “I see things are going well between you two.”

You blanched. How the fuck could he possibly– “What are you talking about?” Oh, that was way too shaky to not be seen as suspicious. Eld’s grin only widened further, and you felt heat gather at your cheeks.

“I’m happy for you. I really really am,” – he placed a hand on your shoulder – “you deserve it.” You covered his hand with your own, your expression relaxing instantly. He could always sap the tension from your shoulders like that. You honestly weren’t convinced he wasn’t some kind of wizard.

“Thanks, Eld. Not just for that but, for being pretty fucking great generally.” You gave his hand a squeeze, almost surprised to see a genuine shine of gratitude in his eye. Before he dramatically gasped and placed a hand on his chest.

“A compliment?! From you?! Hold on, I need to check the skies for pigs! Is it my birthday? Oh oh oh! I’ve got it! You’ve just found out you have an incurable disease and you want to show your appreciation before you die!” You shoved him off, laughing brazenly at his all too familiar antics.

“Eat shit and die.”

“Great rules to live by. Eat, shit, and die.” You were so tempted to throw something at him.

“Go to bed before I fucking drag you.”

“And here I was thinking you only had eyes for the captain. Naughty.”

“Go!” You went to give him a halfhearted kick, one that was easily dodged by a quick step backwards.

“Okay, okay, I’m going! No need to get violent.” He held his hands up in defeat, finally turning to leave you with the washing up. “Hey,” you looked back over your shoulder to see him still lingering by the door. “You’re pretty great too.”

He left you smiling before you could answer, and you found to your overwhelming delight, not a single romantic feeling towards him. There really was nothing like the feeling of moving on, and discovering you wouldn’t be in that kind of pain anymore. It was liberating.

Teacup in hand, Levi passed Eld on his way down the hall, who smiled widely at him and gave him a nod in acknowledgement. One of the weirder exchanges he’s ever had with the blonde, but weird exchanges with both Eld and Gunther were to be expected. It’s just who they were.

Levi had been stuck thinking about you all day since that morning. What would have happened had he not been interrupted. Would he have kissed you? He doubted it. He wanted to make that something a little more– ‘special’ didn’t sound like the right word, but he couldn’t think of a better one. Would he have just stared at you for hours? That went really well the last time, a fantastic way to make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe he would have just held you for a bit longer, reassured you a bit more. Although he thought that all the time. He constantly wanted to hold you more. That wasn’t anything different.

His boots echoed down the stairs as he approached the kitchen doorway, hearing who he assumed was you shuffling around, before the pitched shattering of ceramic ceased all movement.

“No, no no nononononono–” That was your voice. Panic gripped him as he sped down the last few steps to see you on your hands and knees, frantically scrambling for broken fragments of white porcelain. It wasn’t difficult to piece together what had happened, but Levi was more worried about the state of your hands and fingers than the broken teacup. More worried about your almost hysterical state.

“What–” You cut him off with a fearful yelp, almost falling backwards having not heard him come in. He’d never seen you like this. Your eyes wide and wild, reddened by the streaming tears down your cheeks. Blood pooling from both your hands and knees from where you’d knelt in the shrapnel and tried desperately to pick up the pieces. You looked… you looked terrified.

“I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to– it j-just s-slipped from m-my hands… I’m sorry, I-I’ll clean it up, j-just give me two m-minutes and it’ll b-be gone I-I’ll buy a re-replacement, I’m s-so sorry.”

Levi was stunned into silence, utterly baffled by your sudden one hundred and eighty degree shift in personality. He struggled to comprehend that this was the same woman from earlier today, laughing and quipping alongside him. His fingers tingled with each small cut you managed to give yourself, knees stinging as you kept crawling on the sharp edges. That echo in his chest raced to the point of pain, his sternum twisting and hammering in panic.

It took him far too long to gather himself again, your hands coated in a thin sheen of crimson.

“Stop!”

Upon seeing you freeze up, Levi instantly regretted raising his voice even a fraction. You didn’t move, not even from where you were reaching to grab another shard of blood-stained white, hands trembling like a leaf in the wind. He could hear your slightly wheezed breaths, too fast to placate him.

Kneeling before you, Levi took your shaking hands into his own, tilting them towards the light to see the extent of the damage you’d done to yourself. His own breath hitched slightly. How had he not noticed these last time? Your hands were covered in hundreds of paper thin scars, none of them longer than a centimetre. His mind raced, endless possibilities crowding his head, and pushing them all back felt like fighting a hurricane with a spatula. But Levi was nothing if not odds-defying. Taking his cravat from around his neck, he first wiped his own hands, before setting to work on gently clearing the scarlet from yours. He was used to getting blood out of it anyway, it wouldn’t be a problem. But seeing you like this…? That was where the problem lay. Your tears continued to stain the floorboards, and you continued to convulse slightly with each silent sob.

He wanted to talk to you. To hold you. To gently stroke your arm until you calmed down, but he had a nightmarish feeling that if he did anything other than what he was doing now, you’d break apart again. So he just kept cleaning, wiping away any fresh blood that oozed from your cuts. He needed to properly clean them, like he did after that game of poker. But that meant trying to get you to move, and with the way you were still trembling… he didn’t expect that to happen anytime soon. It was a shock to see you like this; cowering away from every too-sudden movement, flinching everytime his hands so much as inched towards your wrists. It was worse when he went to try sooth your hair, your muscles locking up in anticipation, tucking your chin to your shoulder and screwing your eyes shut. You were bracing for something, he grew to learn, and his heart splintered along with the realisation. This had been done to you. This had happened before, but the resulting response from whoever you were with hadn’t been nearly as gentle.

Levi slowly lowered his hands back down to yours. The bleeding stifled now, but he still needed to check your knees and properly clean your hands. You’d stopped crying as well, only now it was so much worse. You just… stared. Vacantly. Like a hole had hollowed out behind your eyes and you were just… empty. He felt nothing, no bond, no connection, no echo. It was like you weren’t even there anymore, like you’d mentally checked out. With endless trepidation, Levi tilted your head up to look at him. This time you didn’t resist; you didn’t react. You just kept staring, eyes slowly focusing on his face. You made no movement when his hand cupped your cheek, like you couldn’t even feel it, and he sorely missed earlier today, when you lent into him even fractionally.

Keeping his voice low and soft, he kept a good read on your expression for any sign of life. “I need to move you to the faucet, can I do that?” No response sans a slow blink, and Levi was at a complete loss. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know if moving you would terrify you again. Fuck, he hated this. Hated seeing you so vacant. So used to seeing your eyes glimmer, seeing them so faded fucking hurt. Not to mention how hollow he felt. Having grown to enjoy your weird presence in his head and chest, your absence left him feeling alone. A feeling he was disgustingly familiar with. “Please, come back. I need you here… I don’t know where you’ve gone, but I can’t reach you there. Come back to me, please.” He begged, both hands now cupping your face. He didn’t know what he was doing, letting his instincts guide him as he blindly reached into whatever connected him to you.

Levi felt like he was flailing in the dark, treading water in some pitch-black ocean with no direction. He thrashed, recklessly searching for something, anything that suggested you were still there. He kicked against the dragging sensation in his head, desperate to stay above the inky black water. Whatever had a hold on him, only tugged him down harder.

“Find her.” It said, “Before she is lost. Find her. Or she will remain alone.”

He forced his limbs to still, and the forceful dragging became a slow descent. Praying for any kind of sign you were still there. The silence was consuming, filling his airways in choking quiet. He had to hold out. Just a few more moments. Another second. Please–

A flicker of life. He felt it. It was here. A faint, dying ember, but it was there. Levi reached out, feeling your heartbeat in his hands, before enclosing it in his palms, and pulling.

Hard.

Levi came back to his body moments before you fell forwards into him, just enough time to catch you. For a harrowing second, he thought you were dead, before the steady echoing of your heartbeat re-entered his chest. He checked your pulse, just to be sure, before finally relaxing when he felt the steady thumping against his fingertips. Your steady breaths indicated you had just fallen into a state of sleep, rather than unconscious. So he gently manoeuvred you into his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist and shoulders and tucking you safely into the crook of his neck, nestling his nose into your hair.

What the fuck just happened? Was that all real, or did he imagine it? There was definitely some thread between you, he could pull on it if he wanted, gently tighten and slacken the bond, but did the rest of it happen? What happened to you? What had happened to you? Levi had so many damn questions and so few damn answers. Not that he would ever bring this up again, not unless you did. He had other methods to attend to anyway, primarily cleaning the cuts on your hands and knees.

But he wanted to hold you. Just for a bit longer. For a few more minutes. Or forever. He honestly didn’t mind which.

Unfortunately the press of your wounds weighed on his mind, and he reluctantly loosened his grip on you enough to scoop you into his arms, making sure your head was still tucked safely into his neck. Why the hell you smelt so fucking good, he refused to unpack before you were somewhere safe and comfortable, but he swore you smelt like freshly cut grass and peonies. Two of his favourite fucking scents.

Levi kept an ear out for any wandering footsteps down the hall as he carried you up to your room. Eren was most likely still stuck downstairs with Hange, listening to them babble on about titan anatomy basics. They always started with the basics. Looking down at you, he couldn’t help his lips pulling up into a tender smile. You looked surprisingly peaceful considering what just happened. Your face finally relaxing, those worry lines becoming much less pronounced. He didn’t realise how stressed you were all the time until now. Until he could see you without a care in the world.

He’d been so lost in your face he hadn’t noticed Eld standing dead centre of the hallway, toothbrush hanging from his mouth, eyes wide in utter stunned bafflement. Levi cursed quietly.

“I– uhhhhhhh, Captain…? Is she– I have no idea how to respond to this. Is she alright?” Levi understood now why you liked him back in the day. The genuine concern on his face was admirable. Levi had never lied to his squad, and he wasn’t about to start now.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I think she’s alright now. She… collapsed in the kitchen.” Levi was genuinely proud to have somebody as caring as Eld on his squad, his brows pinched with worry as he quickly scanned you, pulling his toothbrush from his mouth the moment he saw your crimson stained hands and knees.

“Wait, what h–”

“Eld, you wouldn’t happen to know whether she has a history of abuse, would you?” Eld pulled back, his concern shifting to full-blown alarm. The soft, worried creasing in his face became a harsher, more determined expression of protection.

“Abuse? No… not that I know of. She briefly mentioned having two exes, but mentioned nothing about either of them being abusive.”

“Her family?”

“She never mentioned them either. I actually assume they’re dead, to be honest. Whenever family’s brought up, she stays silent. The same with love lives.” Eld folded his arms, leaning against the wall thoughtfully. “I’ve seen her flinch though. When anyone would get too… exuberant. Mostly when she was near Hange and they got excited by something. I’ve seen her flinch at flailing hands, but I honestly thought it was because she was always ready to jump into action… I never even considered… Fuck.” Levi swore he watched the man go through the five stages of grief in the matter of a minute, sliding a hand down the side of his face. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice. Or even think. She didn’t even come talk to me. I would have–”

“Eld.” The blonde stopped, managing to meet Levi’s gaze. “You’ve been more than a good friend to her. She’s just… good at hiding. It might be nothing, but we can’t rule out any possibilities just yet.” He hated that he sounded like they were discussing some kind of mission plan, but he had to keep up professionalism around his squad. Whether they were already aware or not. “Get to bed, Hange starts tomorrow.” He instructed, continuing to carry you to bed.

“Captain!” Levi stopped, turning his head back. “This might be out of order for me to ask, but…” Eld bucked up the courage to once again raise his head and look his captain in the eye, “Look after her.”

There was so much behind those words, Levi didn’t even want to think about the weight of them. Not yet. “...I plan to.”

Clearly satisfied with this answer, Levi heard the door to Eld’s room close. He didn’t give himself credit for many things, but judging people’s character was one thing he was extremely good at. He was proud of his squad. Extremely proud of them. There were many in the Scouts who very much only cared for themselves, but every single member of his squad had a character to match their skill. It gave him hope to see how deeply the relationships between you all ran, and he knew you would have each other’s backs in a pinch. It was reassuring.

Levi was brought back to reality by you shifting ever so slightly in his arms. Not much, but enough for him to know he needed to get you to bed and wash your cuts as soon as he could, though his heart almost burst with the realisation you were shifting into him, your cheek pressing against his shoulder.

He was getting really tired of fighting the urge to kiss you.

Using his shoulder to get the door to your chosen room open, the moon was just enough lighting to get across the floor without walking or bumping into something. A clear cross section of the window silhouetted against the wood guided him to your bedside.

Setting you down on the plush new covers, he took a moment to sit next to you on the bed and just… look at you. To take a second to memorise your peace-stricken expression. He’d already committed to memory the peaks and valleys of your features, but like this? It was a sight he wanted to get used to so dangerously badly. Tucking a loose strand of hair off your face, he couldn’t stop his hands from softly stroking your cheek, smoothing over your eyebrow. You looked so gentle like this. So tender.

So terrifyingly fragile.

He hated to leave you, only for a few moments whilst he fetched a water basin and a clean cloth. He wouldn’t use the already bloodsoaked cravat, he’ll just wash that later. Though an awful thought finally crossed through his mind.

He couldn’t get to your knees like this. He couldn’t roll them up that far. Uniform pants were designed to be form fitting… but the only other option–

Wasn’t really an option really. He might just have to leave your knees for you to discover in the morning. As much as he cared about your health, he also cared about your dignity and comfort. He was not about to undress you when you weren’t even awake. The thought disgusted him.

So with a heavy sigh, he stood, and sending you one last glance, left to fetch himself what he needed.

…Why. The fuck. Did your hands hurt so damn much? You slowly, groggily stirred awake, scrunching your hands into fists and wincing when you found them stinging and crusty. Your memory was about as hazy as a thick fog, unable to decipher what really happened and what was a dream, and opening your eyes didn’t help anything. You were in your room. Or at least you assumed it was your room. How the fuck did you get here? Nothing made sense. One moment you were in the kitchen, and now–

You froze as you looked down at your hands, though the lighting was low, you could see the smudges of blood and the dark red slices across both of them. It looked… familiar. Uneasily familiar. You’d seen yourself like this before, you swore you had. Peering down at your hands, counting the cuts on each finger, tracing the divots in your palms.

Why? Why did you recognise this exact scenario? And why did it hurt so much to think about? Before you could contemplate any further, your door opened seemingly unprompted.

Until another, more comforting familiarity put you at ease. Though his appearance was unexpected.

He clearly hadn’t expected to see you either, pausing briefly after shutting the door. You only had a brief few second window to try work out what he was holding, but it looked like a steel basin of water, a tub of salve and a few cloths. Though your brain was still waking up, it didn’t take Hange to work out what was happening. Barring your thankful smile was impossible, though you found you had no will to do so.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be awake,” Levi murmured, grateful for the low lighting so you couldn’t see the soft blush across his cheeks. Half of him hoped you wouldn’t wake up until tomorrow… half of him.

You shrugged, still a little bashful that he was currently standing by your closed door whilst you were sitting up in bed. “I wasn’t expecting you to come in.” Though you were smiling, you saw that he wasn’t, and a heavy globule of dread pooled in your gut. What the hell had happened…? “I don’t really–”

“Do you remember–”

You spoke at the same time, instantly cutting off upon hearing the other’s voice. But there was no awkward silence. No charged quiet as he crossed over to you, setting the water on the bedside table and taking up his previous seat by your side. Though this time you were awake.

No further words were exchanged as Levi took you hands back in his, his intentions made even clearer when dipping a clean cloth in the water and gently soothing your lacerations, the dried blood coming away like wet paint. He felt your eyes on him as he worked, using every fibre of his self control to concentrate and not acknowledge your gaze. Because if he had to fight kissing you one more time, he would lose.

“What do you remember?” Talking was a welcome distraction from the way his lips pursed in delicate concentration. Though you observed the way they danced around each word, and it almost killed you, only surviving by tearing your eyes away to look elsewhere.

“Not a lot.” You whispered, and Levi had to pretend it didn’t cause a shiver down his spine. He hoped to fuck you couldn’t feel that. “I remember cleaning up, and I remember being in the kitchen. I think I dropped something, but that’s it. Then I’m here.” You explained, wincing slightly as he swiped across your teared skin.

Levi fell into a thoughtful silence. Should he ask you? Should he bring up his conversation with Eld? He guessed that if you wanted to talk about it, you would have done so. Either with him or the squad. But the thought of leaving the topic undiscussed didn’t really sit very well with him. He wanted to talk to you. Fuck, he wanted to talk about everything with you, not just this. He wanted to know everything about you.

But before he’d made up his mind, you decided for him. “So, will you finally tell me how you know Evelyn, or is that some deep dark scandalous secret nobody is allowed to– Ow! The fuck, Levi?!” You snatched your hand away, facing him with betrayal as he flattened you with a stare. You frowned a pout. “No need to be so rough, especially when you can feel it too.”

“I’m clearly not as sensitive. And I told you how I met Evelyn, she owns the tea stall, how else would I– Would you please give me your hands?” He sighed, exasperated when you tucked them behind you, though it was a trial not to laugh at how petty you looked. “I’m not in the mood to play games with you right now.”

“That suggests you’re sometimes in the mood to play games with me. Where am I when these moods hit?”

“Shovelling shit from the stables.”

“Ever the comedian.” You snorted, before raising a brow at his outstretched hand, patiently waiting for you to give in. He should know you’re more stubborn than that, though he continued to look at you expectantly.

“You waitin’ for a formal invitation?”

“I’m waiting to see how long it will take you to realise I'm not that easy.” You smirked smugly, assuming you’d won this little game of yours.

Until Levi rose from his chair, muttering something about you being a fucking brat, placed a knee on the side of your bed, and swung his other leg over to straddle your lap. Your breath froze, heart beating out of your chest as you stared wide-eyed in utter shock at your captain currently sitting in your lap.

Levi chose to ignore the fact that he could literally feel himself shaking with adrenaline, and instead calmly took your arms from behind your back and held them in one of his hands, reaching for the washcloth with the other. He chose to ignore what he’d come to know as the faint echo of your own heartbeat thundering beside his own, instead choosing to focus on his original task of cleaning your wounds. He chose to ignore the mirroring heat rising to his own face, reaching back towards your nightstand to snatch the tub of salve.

Chose to ignore the small spark igniting in his crotch.

You’d managed to recover from the initial shock, now doing everything in your power to avoid looking at him. If the tables had been turned, you couldn’t say you would have done any differently, it was just unfair that it was him doing this to you. This was him flustering you. You liked it when it was the other way around. All sorts of filthy scenarios flitted about your head, all stemming from this specific position, and it took all of your willpower not to indulge in a little dream of having him like this, in your lap, whilst you worked him up and over.

Levi clenched his jaw. In hindsight, this wasn’t a very clever idea. He hadn’t really been thinking about the consequences when he wanted more than anything to prove you wrong, and demonstrate just how easy you were. Or rather, how easy he made you. But the way your hips shifted below him, the way you subconsciously brought your knees up behind him… Fuck this was a mistake. He couldn’t get hard right now for fuck’s sake. He didn’t even want to imagine that scenario, when you realised he was fucking aroused and his rock hard cock tented in his pants borderline in your face.

He had to move. He had to get off you, before his erection grew any more. Before he made an absolute embarrassment of himself. He just prayed to the fucking walls that phantom pleasure didn’t start again. It did have a habit of rising at the worst of times.

Placing the tub of salve back onto the nightstand, Levi shifted his weight to move off you. But you had other plans. With your hands now slightly slick with balm, you easily slipped them from his grip, taking his own wrists and boldly throwing them above your head.

A gasp flew from his mouth as he fell forward, coming face to face with your now wickedly smirking visage, hot breath tickling his face.

“Still think I’m easy?” You murmured, eyes flickering between his own and his lips. Despite wanting nothing but to lock them with your own for the last however many years you’d been secretly pining over him, you wouldn’t kiss him. Not today. A dominating part of you wanted the satisfaction of leaving him hanging after behaving the way he just did.

Levi was at an utter loss, and he suddenly felt a little guilty for putting you through this exact same situation not moments ago. He felt like a deer in searchlight, completely frozen in place, his heart matching that same hammering beat your own reached when he’d started this whole thing. This was the side to you that sent his stomach somersaulting. The same side that saw you smile so savagely at Hange, the same side that sent heated glares to those who pissed you off. The same side that made him absolutely weak at the knees.

The same side that did nothing helpful for his arousal situation. Especially not when you leaned up as far as your flexibility would allow, your breasts pressing into his chest. He thought for a terrifying moment you were about to bite against his ear, and if you did that, this night would end with him cumming in his pants on top of you.

He was eternally grateful when you didn’t do that.

“Go to bed, Captain.” That wasn’t much fucking better. Levi shivered incredibly noticeably at your breath dampening his helix, sending a pulse of electricity through his nerves.

You relished in the now deep flush across his cheeks as you fell back onto the pillow, releasing his wrists from your hold. The corner of your lips quirked up in another smirk as you saw his internal debate, still frozen in complete shock. So you decided to be nice and help him on his way. “Sleep well.”

Fuck you. Fuck. You. Both literally and in the insulting sense. Levi barely gathered himself enough to clamber off you and leave without another word. Forgetting everything he’d brought to your room in favour of getting back to his own as fast as possible. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. FUCK. He could almost hear your wicked cackle in his head as he walked at the speed of light back to his quarters. Fuck you and you stupid fucking smirk and your stupid fucking hips and your stupid fucking mouth.

He couldn’t think past his throbbing cock once again. And once again it was all because of you. He almost didn’t want to sort it out of some kind of twisted spite. He didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing you fucked with his head – and cock – that badly. Not that you would know. You definitely had some idea, sure, but not the extent to which you messed with him.

His resolve to stay strong and keep his hands from his dick crumbled the moment he crawled into bed after awkwardly pulling a pair of loose pants over his throbbing length. This was so stupid. So fucking stupid. How could you be in his head like this? Causing him to toss and turn, unable to get comfortable with a raging fucking hard-on. This was way too similar to the first time this happened, only, despite however long he waited, that ghostly pleasure didn’t start.

Fine. Fucking– Fine! He’ll just get this over with quickly. The shower was too far away anyway. Reluctantly, Levi pushed down the hem of his pants, kicking them off his legs. It would be easier if he wasn’t wearing anything… right? He honestly had no idea. Would being on his back be better? It felt a little too exposed, so he turned onto his side. How did people do this regularly? He felt like he had a fucking mental checklist of things that needed to be right before he even thought about fisting his cock.

Taking a heavy breath, Levi ghosted his hand down his front, skin prickling at his own featherlight touch before stopping just short of his arousal, suddenly feeling nervous. What if he did it wrong…? What if it didn’t feel good? Would he be disappointed? What if–

He used his questioning mind as a distraction, before wrapping his hand around his length. All rhetorics ceased with the warm honey seeping into his veins. Well, that’s one question answered. It felt good. Fuck, it felt really good. Levi really wanted to stay quiet during this, fearing that hearing himself would turn him off, but the way his breathing stuttered with each gentle, languid stroke was actually a strange aphrodisiac. He hummed a groan, closing his fist tighter around his cock, precum already copiously spilling from his tip, lathering both his palm and his pulsing shaft.

His other hand moved from where it was clutching the pillow by the side of his head, skirting down to grasp his soft, round balls, rolling them in his palm. His hips bucked along with a whimpered gasp, brows pinching as his eyes fluttered closed. He experimented with different holds, finding his euphoria building quicker when his thumb pressed against his prominent vein and his fingers circled his tip. This was different to last time. Last time, he was completely out of control, waiting on the whims of a phantom pleasure. But this time, he felt his high build slowly, working himself up before tightly gripping the base of his cock. He didn’t know why he was edging himself, assuming that’s what it was, he honestly just wanted this to last. He’d never made himself feel this good, never drew gravelly moans and fractured whines from his throat with his own hands.

A strike of confidence overtook him, and he let his hand venture further down, resting against the spot between his ass and balls. Still feeling bold, he gently massaged the area, gasping loudly at the sudden spike of bliss. Levi’s mouth dropped open with a quiet wail, his hips now thrusting erratically into his own hold, fucking his fist whilst his fingertips ground against his taint in ever increasing circles. Another question answered. He would not be disappointed. Not when he could feel his high cresting. He couldn’t help himself. In the comforting darkness, he whispered out your name.

“G-gonna cum! Fuck, fuck…! G-gonna fucking cum o-ohahaah! Nghyes! Fu–” His voice cut off as he was dropped into a sea of ecstasy, oceans of pleasure roiling in his veins, crashing over his nerves as he managed to bring himself to orgasm. His thighs shook, trapping his hand between them as he failed to stop the rhythmless bucking of his hips, white seed expelling from his sensitive head and dribbling down his knuckles, staining the sheets below.

Levi basked in the afterglow of his high before the inevitable post-orgasm clarity ruined his mood. He thought back to your vixen-like smile, your teasing lips. He swore he could hear you laughing at him, giggling maniacally at his desperation.

–Easy–

Great. Even his own mind was teasing him now. Levi sighed, the weight of his situation lying heavily on his shoulders. Until the realisation hit him like a punch to the gut.

After all that, after everything that had just happened.

He still hadn’t dealt with your fucking knees.

“Eren, what the fuck?”

“You trying to kill us all?”

“We trusted you!”

Your blades held steady in your hands, heart pumping in your throat as you were poised to strike at a moment’s notice. Eren transformed out of nowhere, scattering you and your team to the floor, the wooden picnic bench now in splinters where his giant titan hand clutched a small spoon. You ignored the steady trickle of blood down your forehead from where a sharp splint had just sliced your skin, too busy focusing on your new enemy. The only thing standing between you two was your Captain.

“Calm down.” His order was ignored when you only gripped your blades tighter. Call it mutiny, you were not about to back down. Lives were in danger now. The lives of the people you cared about more than anything. He was an idiot for thinking you would just drop it.

“Captain, you’re standing too close, please step away!” At least Petra was on the same wavelength as you, voicing what you were thinking. But he held frustratingly steady, a hand held before him as if to stop you. But he couldn’t stop all of you.

“You’re the ones who need to step away. Stand down. Now.” You vaguely admired him for being able to keep his cool when faced with the drawn blades of the best Scouts in the regiment. “That’s an order.”

You didn’t care if the conviction of the other’s wavered. You were set. Another wrong move and Jaeger wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Erwin would just have to find another hope for humanity. Maybe one that possessed a head.

“Are you an enemy of humanity, or are you not?!” Oluo shouted from your left, Eld, too, holding his blades tighter at the question. You did nothing but wait in panther-like hostility, anticipating the fucking second he would move to kill you all. You wouldn’t let that happen. Not on your life.

“Answer us, Eren!” It was Gunther this time, sounding like he genuinely wanted to believe in the teen. Of course he did, that was Gunther through and through.

“I said stand down.” Levi reiterated, clipping his tone to the point of venom. A quick glance down told you he was talking to you. His Second. You knew he needed you on his side, but when faced with a threat this large, you had to rely on your gut. And he had to move out of the way. Your eyes returned to the struggling kid, but no sympathy entered your veins. Only the cold stone of protection. Bond or not, you still had to rely on yourself in certain situations. It hasn't done you wrong thus far. You could always rely on your gut. Always trust your gut.

You watched as Eren squirmed and wriggled, trying to free himself from the fleshless arm. He could do that if he wanted, he could most likely find himself on the end of your blade though. The moment he came free and fell backwards, you were there. You hadn’t even noticed the arrival of Moblit and Hange, barely registered Levi’s harsh call of your name as your blade swung towards his neck–

Only to stop a hair’s breadth away from his throat. You could almost taste the kid’s fear, and you honestly relished in it. Good. He should be fucking scared. Betrayals like this aren’t taken kindly, and you would happily relieve his head from his shoulders. And you would have done, had your captain not stopped you with a hand grasped firmly on your shoulder. Honestly, if looks could kill, Levi would be six feet under. As would you. The tension was palpable as your entire squad watched a subconscious battle of attrition, a war between wills. A raging clash between ice and fire, stoicism against hotheadedness. The likes of which your squad had never seen. Not once had you clashed so fiercely with Levi before, and it wasn’t honestly a spectacle to witness.

It felt like the charged silence warped on forever, before you slid your gaze from Levi to Eren on the floor, frozen in place. Eyes narrowing, you scrutinised him. Assessed him. Searched him for any fucking shadow of betrayal. It didn’t matter what came up of your search, because you sheathed your blade anyway, watching with a vicious snarl as he scrambled backwards.

With your weapon away, Levi’s eyes shifted to the cut on your forehead, brows pinching in concern. But you honestly weren’t interested in his worries, having been put in an incredibly sour mood after this entire ordeal. You harshly shrugged off his burdened looks and hand from your shoulder, wincing away from his reaching fingers and stalking off away from the camp.

Fuck this.

Now, sitting here back in the small dining room, your opinion may have shifted slightly. Maybe you’d overreacted just a little, though you didn’t really see how you were to blame for that. This was unexplored territory, of course you were going to be on edge. Sure, maybe pointing your razor blade in his neck could be considered ‘going overboard’, but you just called it ‘taking precautions’.

But the atmosphere in the dining room was heavy; laced with unspoken tension. Your squad all gathered around a dimly lit table, Levi standing off to the side slightly whilst Hange spoke to Eren about the spoon he was holding. You didn’t look up from the ground, despite the obvious flaw in your decision making. You didn’t understand how being threatened and acting accordingly was such a terrible thing, but by the look Levi was giving you, fuck you felt that in your soul.

Was he really that disappointed?

Could you really blame him?

“But still… Turning into a titan to pick up a spoon… What the hell’s up with that?” There was clear remorseful confusion on Eren’s face as he stared at his own hand, and in that second you understood just how brazenly you acted. Fuck.

“So basically, you didn’t act against orders on purpose, right?” Gunther asked, keeping a close eye on the kid. You knew you were all feeling the same.

“Right.” Eren responded, and Gunther sighed. You all did. You were wrong. You made the wrong call. Turning to look at Eld, you nodded at each other, same when your eyes met Petra’s. With a heavy heart, you raised your hand to your mouth and bit down on the flesh of your thumb. Hard.

Hange looked slightly panicked at the spectacle before them, but Levi just watched. He understood. He felt the impact of your bite in his own hand, and he understood. Though he knew you bit harder than you needed to. A strain of painful pride blossomed in his chest.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Eren looked between you all in bafflement.

“Ow. Fuck, that was hard. I’m impressed that you can do that, Eren.” Eld chimed, and you couldn’t help but smile. He always knew how to ease tension.

“This is our modest way of apologising after making the wrong call,” Gunther explained, “Not that it really makes a difference now.”

“Our job is to keep you in check after all! That was not a mistake. So don’t get ahead of yourself!” You almost snorted at Oluo’s justification. He never could stand being wrong, and you cringed at how much he tried to sound like the captain.

“I’m sorry, Eren. We were too on edge, and I can understand if you’re upset with us. But despite this, we want you to be able to rely on us, as we rely on you.” You’d almost never heard Petra sound so serious, but you supposed now was the best time for that.

You knew it was your turn to acknowledge what you did. Stepping past your squad, you stood in front of the teen, your jaw set. “Eren… I acted too quickly, and you suffered for it. There’s no justification for how I behaved, and for that I can only apologise. I failed to recognise my job to not only protect my squad, but also you. As acting captain when Levi is away, I take responsibility for the decisions of the squad. And though the captain was present, this one was an error in my judgement.” You placed a hand on his shoulder. “I hope you can still trust us.”

Eren looked utterly stunned, and Levi would have chuckled had he not been so caught off guard by your apology. There was that conviction he admired so much. He’d missed seeing your eyes flare in that way.

“No, I understand. You were just doing your jobs…” Though Eren seemed unsure, you trusted him enough to make his own decision. Whether he could put his faith back in you, that was up for him to decide. You stepped back to the wall, folding your arms over your chest and glancing to where Levi was looking at you.

‘I’m sorry.’ You tried to tell him, searching for that unspoken connection through his eyes. Your breath of relief couldn’t have been sweeter when he responded to you.

‘Forgiven.’ Is all he said. It was all he needed to say. Your resulting release of breath was reward enough.

Hange once again looked between the group awkwardly, not really understanding what the fuck just happened. “Well… now that’s over with, anyone down for a team-building game?” Honestly? Yeah, you were. In fact, you could genuinely think of nothing better than to relieve the tension with some fun.

“What’d ya have in mind?” Eld asked, eyeing you with a quirked grin.

Hange thought for a moment, before a wicked smirk pulled at their lips. “Kiss or strip?”

“Hange, Eren’s fifteen years old. And why do all your games involve stripping?” You were a little surprised Levi chimed in. You honestly weren’t expecting him to stick around. But the idea of him staying to join you sent your stomach flipping.

“I uh– actually I’m probably going to head to bed. Today was… draining.”

You pursed your lips to stop yourself from smiling at the obvious blush across poor Eren’s cheeks. You can’t blame the kid, you’d known your squad for years now, so stripping in front of them wasn’t an issue. Plus, you were all much older than him. You didn’t expect him to want to kiss any of you.

“Ah! Excellent. Sleep well, Eren. Right, everyone in a circle. Anybody got a bottle?” Hange asked the moment Eren left the room. You sighed heavily, taking a seat on the floor next to Eld.

“We should have expected this.” He muttered to you.

“We really should have.”

“Right!” Hange clapped their hands together, rubbing them slightly in excitement. Walls they were really terrifying sometimes. Placing a bottle in the middle, their manic eyes scanned the circle. “Who wants to go first?”

“Just spin it, Hange, nobody ever wants to go first.” You heart leapt. So he was going to join you! You felt Eld elbow you gently in the ribs, wiggling his eyebrows at your resulting scowl. Mentally cursing his name, Hange spun the glass in the centre, the neck landing on Moblit sitting next to them.

See, the thing with the Scouts, or at least the veterans, was that nobody was really out of bounds. Even so, on the list of things you thought you would see today, Levi and Moblit sharing a romantic moment was not one of them. If you weren’t so into him, you would almost root for their newly budding relationship. Even if a distant part of you was genuinely jealous at the fact fucking Moblit got a kiss before you did.

After Hange and Gunther, the bottle landed on Oluo and Petra, and you watched to your absolute hilarity as Petra removed her jacket and handed it to him. You glanced at Eld in confusion, and he shrugged back at you. Petra never did explain what happened between them. Hange spun the bottle again, the neck landing on you. You were pretty comfortable with your entire squad, Hange and Moblit included, so the thought of having to kiss any of them didn’t really spark anything. Until you remembered Levi was playing, and suddenly it was like you couldn’t sit still.

You couldn’t tell whether you were relieved or disappointed when the bottle landed on you again. Usually that would mean you would drink, but with the severe lack of alcohol, during this specific rendition, it just meant you’d kiss the person to your left.

“Been a long time coming.” Eld grinned as you faced him.

“And whose fault is that?” You quipped back, folding your arms with a beam twice as bright. Without another word, Eld leaned down and quickly pecked your lips. You heard Petra’s gasp of delight across the circle, and made a mental note to hit her over the head after this game.

“Anything?” Eld ask having pulled back, and you could safely say you were being truthful when you shook your head.

“About as sparkless as wet flint. Sorry, Pet.” You threw her pouting face a wink, before Hange nodded in approval.

“Fair enough! Right neeeeeext up!” Hange spun the bottle again, and your calmed nerves flared up again the moment it landed back on you. Was this bottle weighted?

“Again? Damn, you’re really being favoured tonight,” Gunther snorted, and you rolled your eyes.

“Hardly.” You replied, uncrossing your legs and leaning back on your palms. It was extremely unlikely, right? Yeah, the odds weren’t in your favour with this game, and the probability of the bottle landing on Levi was so low that–

Well then.

You swallowed.

So did he.

So much for low probabilities. The neck of the bottle taunted you by shaking slightly, before settling on your captain. Though you were nervous, excitement also fizzed in your gut. Finally, finally. You’d waited far too long for this. Though it was in a silly game, you thought this still counted, right? Yeah, this still counted. Your eyes met across the circle, and you could see that same spark of trepidation in his own steel irises. Fair enough, he too was nervous. That just made this slightly more special. You smiled to try to put him at ease, before freezing in your seat, expression stuck.

Levi took his jacket off.

You blinked, slightly confused. Was he just warm? Or–

All your questions were answered when he handed it to you. Oh, this was nothing like the last time he did that. This was… this hurt.

You were almost too stunned to take it, your numb fingers hooking beneath the leather and laying it down by your side. You almost wanted to take off the one you were wearing, also being his and all. You mildly appreciated the way Eld settled his hand over the one you were leaning on, trying to provide some semblance of comfort whilst you suffered this harsh slap in the face from reality.

Before that slap became a full on kick when the bottle landed on him and Petra, and he did kiss her.

Eld squeezed your hand.

You didn’t get it. You couldn’t get it. Had this whole fucking thing been some kind of sick, twisted joke? Had this whole thing been some fucked up game he’d been playing? Was he really that bored to the point he would fuck with your emotions like this? Were you even really bound? Or was that all bullshit too? Did he just fucking pretend? Was this all pretend?

You didn’t even register the rest of the game, thanking whatever merciful divinity intervened with fate and left you unpicked. Though the fucking second Hange released you all from their clutches, you were up and gone. Striding up the stairs and down the hall.

He called your name. You hadn't even realised he’d been following you until now, but this time you didn’t stop. You just kept walking, driven by a kind of hurt you’d never felt before. You wouldn’t cry. Not over this. You refused to. You��d been through so much worse than this, and yet this hurt so much more than anything else. Why? You thought you were good at handling rejection. You handled rejection from Eld pretty well, even if he didn't technically reject you. So why the fuck was this splitting your soul apart? You kept walking, heedless of Levi’s calls after you. You’d never been so angry. At everything. At yourself for reacting in such a strong way, at Levi for whatever the fuck that was, at Hange for even suggesting this stupid fucking game. You just wanted to go home. Fuck this mission, fuck these experiments, and fuck your stupid fucking, confusing, mixed signal giving, grumpy faced, irritatingly good-looking, annoyingly sweet, stupid fucking captain–

“Please, just stop,” you’d been too caught up in your head to hear his footsteps close in on you, only noticing the moment his hand wrapped around your swinging wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You didn’t turn. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of showing him you were upset. Fuck him.

Levi found himself at a loss. He didn’t know how to explain himself. He’d wanted to kiss you. Shit, he’s wanted to kiss you for so fucking long, but just… not in front of everyone. Not for your first kiss. And shamefully, he didn’t know if he could control himself. The bond he had to you had done things to him, made him feel things he’s never even felt a whisper of before. Disgusting, repulsive, filthy things he was so fucking ashamed of he could barely look you in the eye most days. But he couldn’t let you leave thinking he did what he did because he didn’t want to kiss you.

“Let go…” It was a weak attempt, but you tried to pull your hand from his grip, only for his hold to tighten. You grit your teeth. “Levi, let go of me.”

Every fibre of your self control was poured into keeping your voice steady, though your hand shook slightly. “I swear to the fucking Walls Levi if you don’t let go of me I will hurt you.” Physically or emotionally, you weren’t sure yet. You just wanted him to hurt as much as you were right now.

Little did you know he already did. You didn’t have to turn around for him to know you were in agony. He could fucking feel it, only made worse by the fact that was all his fault. He hated it; despised this feeling. But he couldn’t hold you against your will, so he reluctantly let go. He felt like all his prayers were answered when you didn’t immediately leave.

“I couldn’t.” It was as much of an explanation as he could manage right now. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how he could make this feeling go away.

“I don’t understand.” His heart shattered at the confused desperation lacing your now quaking voice. “I don’t get it. One moment I think there’s something between us, but then it’s like I don’t exist. No, it's worse than that. It’s like you can’t bear to be around me. I’m sorry I fucked up today. I’m sorry I ignored your orders and undermined your authority, but fuck! I didn’t think you hated me this much, Levi. Enough to mess me around like this. Enough to be more comfortable kissing Petra than kissing me. So I’m going to give you two choices–” you finally turned, eyes hardened with heartbroken rage, “Sever the bond between us, and stay the fuck away from me. I’ll transfer squads and we won’t have to see each other nearly as much,”

No. He wasn’t doing that. He couldn’t do that. It would most likely kill him, as selfish as that was. He didn’t want to be away from you, being away from you wasn’t an option. And the thought of severing the bond… his blood burned from the inside at the thought. It was physically painful to even consider.

“Or,” – you continued – “you talk to me. Just… tell me what’s going on. Because I genuinely can’t continue with things as they are between us. I don’t know where to go, I don’t know where I stand. I can never tell if i’m important to you or if i’m worth the same as the fucking dirt off your boots. And it’s agony, Levi. I don’t know if you know, but it’s–”

“I know.” That made you stop. You hadn’t taken a moment to really look at him, too trapped in your own pain to open your eyes and see him suffering from it. It was the moment that pushed you over the edge, two tears finally spilling down your cheeks.

“Then why?” Your voice broke slightly. “If you can feel this too then, I don’t understand… Why?”

“Because I don’t fucking know what I’m doing,” Levi ran a hand through his hair, muttering an exasperated curse. “It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you. Fuck, I’ve wanted to kiss you for so fucking long but I don’t– shit. I don’t know if I’d– I can’t– Fuck.”

You almost wanted to leave. You almost wanted to turn around and leave this conversation, and him, behind. You didn’t want to stand here in pain anymore. “Levi…”

“This fucking bond. It’s– I don’t know, it’s fucking done something. I just– I can’t fucking stop myself. I can’t stop myself when it comes to you. And I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself there either. I just fucking can’t, and I need to know you… want this, before anything happens.”

You both fell silent. You, processing what he’d just said, and Levi, waiting in throat-constricting anticipation.

“So… you didn’t want to kiss me because you were afraid of getting hard in front of everyone?” You asked, the slight wry mischief in your tone shining through the heartache.

Levi sighed in embarrassed relief. “Somethin’ like that.” He muttered, unable to meet your gaze. Until your soft hand on the side of his cheek guided him back to your gentle visage.

“Do you see me pulling back?” You questioned quietly, and Levi swallowed hard. You’d used his words against him, and honestly… that was the final straw. Searching your eyes one last time for any semblance of doubt, the moment his search came up empty, Levi closed the gap between you, and pressed his lips to yours.

Fuck, they were just as soft as he imagined. He felt your release of held breath against his cupid’s bow as you relaxed, your hold on his cheek slackening to your arms draping over his shoulders. It took all of his willpower not to cum in his fucking pants just from kissing you.

You whimpered quietly as his arms snaked around your waist, holding you close. You never thought your first kiss with him would be in the middle of a dark castle hallway, but honestly it was candid enough that you really didn’t mind. You daringly ran your tongue along the seam of his closed mouth, and at his soft groan, something in you locked into place.

It seemed Levi felt it as well, as you both pulled away from each other abruptly, eyes wide in hungry awe. Arousal thundered through your veins, and all your clothes suddenly felt suffocating. You stared at each other for what felt like far too long…

Before Levi tugged you back against him, and borderline attacked your mouth. Roaming hands slid from your back to your ass, gripping tightly as he hoisted you up against the wall, tugging your thighs around his hips. Levi moaned against your lips as you opened your mouth, allowing for him to taste you, and for you to taste him.

He doesn’t know why he expected anything else. Of course you tasted sweet, you tasted like fucking strawberries. He didn’t know if it was the bond making your taste like his favourite goddamn fruit, but he honestly couldn’t have cared less at this moment. He just wanted to taste you. To feel you. Fuck, he just wanted you.

You tightened your legs around his hips, sucking on his tongue as you ground your dampening cunt against his growing arousal, dragging a cracked whine from his throat. Your hands yanked against his cravat, loosening it around his neck and not bothering to take it off before you borderline ripped the first few buttons open on his shirt. You’d never felt this kind of desperation before, never felt this insatiable hunger for somebody else’s body before. But you sure as shit could get used to it.

You’d barely managed to expose his collar before your lips were against his neck, suckling sweet bruises into his pale skin, only barely having the mind to leave them below his shirt’s neckline. You felt his grunting against your tongue as you left a trail of saliva along the side of his throat.

Levi could do nothing but pant into your hair and pulse his hips into the apex of your thighs, eyes rolling as your teeth scraped against his pulse point. He almost told you to suckle there, but he had the same thought. He didn’t want you to leave marks where they could be seen. Your soft lips travelled up to his ear, nibbling and nipping against the flesh of his helix, your breath hot and damp. He wanted to turn the tides, but he was completely helpless to your assault, bucking into you as your nails scratched against the fuzz of his undercut.

You felt the tingles in your own hair, the bites on your own body as you skipped back down to his collarbone, biting harshly against his skin and watching in satisfaction as the blood rushed to the surface, colouring the patch a dark purple. You went to make another, before being harshly shoved back by your dishevelled looking partner. A gorgeous rouge had spread across his cheeks and down his neck, his hair mussed from your groping as his heated glare shot straight to your soaking core.

“My turn.” Was all he hissed, before his mouth devoured the valley between your neck and your shoulder. You felt him shiver as his teeth sank into your flesh tongue soothing the hurt before moving an inch down and repeating the same action. His hands were rough in removing any clothing obstacles from his path, the neckline of your t-shirt cracking as it was stretched beyond its shape, before snapping completely.

“Fuck, Levi…” That was his name you were moaning. His name you were whimpering as he trailed kisses down the valley of your breasts. Your head fell back against the wall, hands returning to his hair to grab and paw at. Levi groaned against you, mouth occupied with suckling blossoms into your skin before you unhooked your legs from around his hips.

He understood the message, gently setting you down on your feet, but he kept his hands around you, still holding your waist as his nipping mouth travelled back up the side of your neck to leave a lingering kiss against your lips. Pulling back a fraction, you panted heavily against each other, mouths barely grazing. You were the first to speak.

“I really don’t want to fuck you in a hallway, Levi, but I fucking swear if we don’t move somehwere else I will suck you dry here and now.”

Levi felt his cock pulse desperately at the husk in your voice, the temptation in your ‘threat’ messing with his arousal-clouded head.

“As tempting as option B is…” he didn’t finish his sentence before picking you back up in his arms, your legs now wrapping around his abdomen instinctually. “I want to take you to bed.”

The smile you gave him cut through the heady heat in his mind, the way your eyes lit up and sparkled in the flickering torchlight, the corners of your mouth pulling up into a dazzling beam. Levi always found you attractive, but the woman he was gazing at now was positively ethereal. Haloed by orange light, he brushed messy, loose strands of hair from your face, supporting you in his hold with one arm.

“You’re so pretty,” he murmured almost absently, eyes tracing the way gentle pink slowly saturated your cheeks. You really were gorgeous to him. Complete perfection. Your lack of response had him grinning slightly, knowing he’d flustered you. He made a mental note to tell you how beautiful you were everyday, before you hid yourself in the crook of his neck, paying him back by softly teasing against an unknown sensitive spot just behind his ear.

Levi felt you shiver in his arms as he carried you down the hall, knees weakening with each kitten lick of your tongue against his skin. His straining cock throbbed with each step, begging for something, anything, to relieve the heated throbbing that had accumulated between his thighs. Briefs and pants rubbing uncomfortably against his sensitive tip, and with your teeth scraping down his neck, it was all he could do to just keep walking, teeth grit against the primal urge to set you down and let you have your way with him. But Levi swallowed his pride.

“P-please, I can’t– fuck, just s-stop for a moment, because at this rate we’re not going to make it somewhere quiet.” You chuckled darkly at his use of the word ‘we’, but acquiesced nonetheless. Levi huffed a relieved breath, thankful for the slow in pace, before shouldering open the nearest bedroom door. He knew you weren’t exactly happy with him for the spring clean yesterday afternoon, but he couldn’t be more grateful that all the rooms had fresh, new sheets and bedwear.

Levi kicked the door closed behind him, setting you down for the second time. Your feet touched the ground for all of one moment before you pushed him up against the door, mouth latching back against the spot on his neck that made him ask you to stop. But this time, no such request came your way. Nimble fingers popped open the remaining buttons of his shirt, revealing his chiselled torso and marble cut abs. Shoving back the fabric of both his jacket and shirt, you set your mouth lower on his chest, leaving fresh maroon marks against his pale skin with your teeth.

Shuddering, Levi let his shirt and jacket drop to the floor, for once not caring about how messy it would look, and your hands instantly slid up his front, ghosting over his naval. He cracked a soft whimper at your attention, squirming slightly as you mouthed closer to his nipple. You looked up at his expression wryly, lips still attached to his chest, before enveloping his pebbled sensitivity in your mouth.

You moaned slightly in response to his airy cry, your own arousal spiking as you felt his pleasure. Levi’s back arched, pushing his chest into your mouth, writhing as your tongue flicked over his little bud. His hands threaded through your hair, his scalp tingling in an echo, as you shoved your thigh between his legs. You pulled back to mutter a curse as he started to grind against your leg, clit throbbing in tandem with each rock of his hips.

You switched sides, showing his other nipple attention whilst you rolled the one abandoned between your thumb and forefinger. Your pitched whines sent shivers down his spine, his soaked cock twitching in response. Levi’s eyes rolled back into his head, hands moving to your waist as he rocked himself against your thigh. With a final harsh suck against his nipple, wrenching another airy yelp from him, you buried your nose in the side of his neck, encouraging his movements by jolting your leg against his clothed length, your cunt throbbing.

“Y-yeah, k-keep doing that, f–ah-aah! Fuck that feels so fucking good ‘Vi.” You moaned in his ear, feeling his grip on your waist tighten at your words.

“You can–nghaah! Y-you feel that?” he stuttered, barely able to form a sentence, the friction becoming too much to handle. You tugged on his hair in response, his eyes flying open, draw dropping with an embarrassingly loud groan.

“Yeah, yeah I c-can feel it,” you nodded erratically, feeling the thrusts of his hips increase to a desperate, sloppy rhythm. You felt the build of his high in your own approaching orgasm. You weren’t even being stimulated directly and yet you were going to cum. Hard.

Bliss bubbled in his loins, a feeling he now recognised. Fuck he was getting close, so so fucking close. He swore if this stopped like the first time he would genuinely break down crying. It clicked just as you leaned into his ear.

“Make us cum, Levi.”

Clenching his teeth did nothing against the plethora of strangled moans he let loose upon reaching his high. Levi shuddered hard as his pleasure crested into bliss, his head lightly thumping against the door, cumming in his pants. Losing control of his hips, you just managed to take over through your own shaking euphoria, whining softly into his ear with your leg still grinding against his twitching length, head pulsing dribbling seed from his sensitive tip, drenching the front of his briefs.

You cunt clenched around nothing when you felt his orgasm as your own. Honey laced your blood as you buried your head in his neck, riding out your simultaneous peaks. Your high pitched whisper of his name had him growling yours in response, arms coming up to hold you close to him.

Levi shivered as he came down from his high, though his cock still throbbed desperately. He needed you. He needed to feel you, to be inside you. But through the slightly cleared arousal, he managed to form some kind of thought.

“That was you…” he strained, still holding you tight against him.

“What was me?”

“I could feel you. Shit, I could feel you fuck yourself… Walls, you’re insatiable. Twice? Really? I had to leave that fucking meeting because of you. Sh-shit that’s… that’s so–” Levi cut himself off with a soft groan as you pulled your thigh away from his crotch. You would have felt guilty, had you not just paid him back. Not only that, but he must have cum twice that day as well.

You started to suckle on his neck again, finding it almost impossible to attach your lips to a patch of skin without a hickey. “That was entirely your fault. And you’re also guilty, Mister ‘I jerked off last night,’” you murmured against him.

“How the fuck were either of those times my fault?” Levi asked dazedly, slowly sliding his jacket from your shoulders, taking the pace down slightly. Now the initial frenzy seemed to have calmed, he wanted to take his time with you, though his raging hard-on protested blindly.

You smiled slightly at the ghostly touch of his fingers on your skin, goosebumps prickling as he raised your t-shirt up to your midriff, nodding in confirmation after he paused for consent, before raising your arms to help him remove it. You watched his eyes widen slightly, the same expression he made briefly when he knocked on your dorm room door that morning, and you emerged half-clothed. In fact, you were wearing the exact same things as you were now. Your binding and uniform pants. Only missing the loose hanging harness from your hips. Leaning back in, you took his hands and placed them back on your body, brushing your nose against his. “Because you should have just kissed me that day. After poker. I wanted you to. Would have saved us both a lot of trouble,” you smirked against his lips.

Levi huffed, barely able to focus as he felt your body for the first time. Your skin ignited beneath his touch, and he marvelled at the way your muscles clenched slightly. You were so sensitive, reacting to his fingertips softly grazing up to your breasts, the slightest hint of two peaks pushing through the fabric. Fuck he wanted to take them in his mouth, but all in good time, he reminded himself. He fiddled with the elastic hem of the binding, idly admiring your face. “I wanted to. You were very tempting that night. I liked watching you strip.”

You snorted a laugh, cupping the side of his face with your palm and smoothing the bone of his cheek with your thumb. “I’m kind of glad you didn’t,” Levi raised a brow of confusion, and you pressed a kiss to his swollen lips. “Means this feels so much better.”

Lifting your arms again, you let him drag your binding up your shoulders, joining the growing pile of clothes on the floor. With your breasts now free, Levi seemed to have stopped working. Mouth slightly agape, he stared wide-eyed at your naked torso, unable to form any kind of thought. His dick felt like it was going to snap in half if it wasn’t freed soon, still stewing in the mess of his previous orgasm.

“Fuck… Fuck! Look at you… Shit you’re just– fuck, you’re fucking gorgeous.” You kept eye contact as you sauntered backwards, hand sliding down his arm to lace your fingers together, leading him further into the room. You bit your lip sensually as you smiled, slowly looking him up and down as you kicked off your boots.

“Wait ‘til you see the rest.”

Levi crossed with purpose and plunged his mouth back onto yours, no hesitation in the invasion of his tongue. You leapt up into him, letting his arms support and carry you to the bed against the far corner. Without being able to see where he was going, the second his knees hit the edge of the bed, Levi let himself fall forward, his tongue still lapping at the roof of your mouth as the covers and mattress cushion your fall. His wandering hands set fire to your already heated core, desperation spiking when he moved from your mouth down to your jaw, peppering soft little presses down your throat, nipping against your protruding collarbone.

Hands found soft hair as you laced your fingers in his locks, breath hitching as his rough tongue licked a column up the valley of your breasts, turning his head slightly and biting against the soft flesh of your inner mound. You breathed a whimper, hot breath inching ever closer to your own pebbled sensitivity. Only after quietly begging him, did he finally close his lips over your nipple, sucking against the electric peak. You arched into his touch, feeling the vibrations of his own moaning against your breast.

Levi switched to your other bud, hands ghosting along the hem of your pants, slowly flicking the buckle of your belt free and pinching your zipper between his thumb and forefinger. Not that you could even think to notice with his teeth clamping down on your nipple, tongue flitting over the hardened pebble in apology, before performing the exact same dance. Grinding his hips into the bedspread below, Levi hooked his fingers into your pants, dragging the fabric down your thighs as you raised up slightly to help him. His mouth left your chest, biting a bath down your stomach, over your navel to your pelvis. You kicked off your uniform pants, quivering as only a thin layer of fabric separated your heat from his touch.

He almost drooled as you opened your legs for him, eyes instantly trained on the darker patch at your apex where your slick had soaked through the fabric. Your breath heaved as he nipped at the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, huffing a small laugh when he whimpered, having felt it too.

Your scent invaded his nose as he brushed against your ruined underwear, his cock twitching in anticipation. Inhaling again, his eyes rolled back when his hips bucked into the sheets below, savouring the few moments of arousal charged hesitation, before setting his mouth over that dark patch on the fabric, and sucking hard.

Your head fell back against the pillows, groaning carnally to the ceiling, his own vibrating against your swollen clit. You heard the scrunching of fabric as he continued to grind into the mattress, your slick bud pulsing along with every thrust. It was strange to feel the sharp echo of a different pleasure, and you wanted so much to explore with him. To see where each part of yourselves resembled the other. For now, all you understood was that when the tip of his cock was stimulated, you felt it in your clit.

Levi’s tongue poked out to slowly and gently circle over your cunt, pushing the fabric of your underwear further into your soaking hole and watching as your slick saturated through more of the cloth. Fuck that was hot. But he was getting tired of all these layers, specifically on you. Even one was too much. Kissing back up to your hip, he took the hem of your underwear between his teeth, and you almost came at the sight of him dragging them down your thighs with his fucking mouth. You kicked them off the second they were low enough.

Levi swore. And again. And a third time as you parted your legs and exposed your dripping cunt to him, positively glistening in the low light. If he was being honest, he didn’t really know what he was doing. He’d only had one experience previously, and he didn’t even cum during that. But he had the extra help of feeling your own pleasure, knowing roughly that if it felt good for him on his body, it felt better for you on yours.

Before he could start, however, you sat up and instantly set your hands on his belt. Understanding your urgency, Levi let you remove it for him, grunting as you snapped it from his waist. His heart and cock lurched as you looked at it for a moment too long, clearly contemplating something, before deciding against it and dropping the leather to the floor. He couldn’t say he wasn’t a little relieved.

Shoving his pants down, he stood to slide them down his legs and kick them off along with his boots. Your breath caught audibly when his rock hard length bobbed against the soaking tent in his briefs. Your teeth sank into your lower lip again as his thumbs hooked under the hem, attempting to stifle your drooling as he pulled his underwear down as well. You swore you came a little at the sight.

Fuck, he was beautiful. Tip all flushed pink, the same colour as his sore, bitten lips. His shaft pulsating, coated in a shining, thin sheen of his own cum. Your wandering eye spied a delicious looking vein running up the underside, and you ached to run your tongue down it.

“Come here.” You held your arms out to him, and Levi’s heart doubled in size at the gesture. Though the moment he got close enough, you stopped him from clambering back on the bed with you. Hands against his waist, he let you guide him to stand next to where you were sitting instead. “‘M gonna clean you up, okay?”

Levi swallowed, nodding slightly as he attempted to steady himself. But the second your hand wrapped around him and your tongue delivered a kitten lick to his tip, all preparations flew out the window. His jaw slacked open with a sharp gasp, barely able to stand the sight of you lying on your front, playing with the head of his cock. He moaned along with you the second your lips puckered around his tip, hands fisting in your hair as the slick muscle of your tongue swept circles over his sensitive slit, watching with slight awe as your hips squirmed into the bed. He made his mind up then not to let you make him cum. He had a feeling the score wasn’t even close to being settled between you two, knowing that you had now made him cum three times, and he’d only made you cum once.

Your teasing circles grew in circumference, before you flattened your tongue and took him further down your throat, dragging your muscle against that vein you’d seen earlier and drawing a gravelly whimper from his throat. Though you’d promised only to clean him up, you couldn’t help continuing, spurred on by your own stimulation and his carnal noises.

“Fuck… that’s– Y-yeah, ‘s good, so good…!” Levi’s hips bucked as your moaning vibrations echoed in his cock, his hands tightening in your hair. All your senses were consumed with him, his gently salty tang coating your tastebuds, the smell of his cedar soap a cooling balm for your nose as you had to compensate for the loss of your mouth. The feel of him on your tongue, throbbing and pulsing, thigh tensing beneath your hand. You could barely crane your neck up to watch his expression twist and contort in pleasure, eyes two pools of inky black, hair mussed and dishevelled. Fuck he looked so good. You held him in your throat, listening to his broken whines, just about able to squeeze out a whimper of your own as you cunt clenched around nothing.

“O-off, fuck, st-stop! Don’t wan-nghahaah! Don’t w-wanna cum y-yet!” You relinquished your hold on his shaft, licking up the precum oozing from his tip. Levi panted heavily, his hands loosening their hold in your hair, only to run his fingers through his own. “Fuck, you’re way too good at that…” You grinned wildly, rolling onto your back and once again guiding him by his waist. His thigh brushed the inside of yours as you welcomed him into your hold, hands holding himself up either side of your head. You looked angelic. Hair splayed in a messy halo, lips bitten and raw, chest heaving. The angle looked oddly familiar, and you both smiled at the realisation.

You took a contented breath. You’d expected a few more nerves when sleeping with Levi for the first time, but nothing had felt more natural or more comfortable before in your life. You felt cared for, worshipped. Loved. The faint echo of another heartbeat synced in your chest, and nothing had felt more right. Your thumb swept across his cheekbone, and you melted when he instantly leant into your touch. It had been far too long since you lips were on his, and Levi seemed to agree, eagerly opening his mouth when you arched up into him

A mixture of his own taste and your natural sweetness greeted him like a warm hearth, his hips rolling into your heat in response. You answered, hand skirting down to take him in your palm, and position him at your aching, needy cunt. Levi pulled back, gazing into your widened pupils.

“You want this?” He had to ask. He had to have explicit confirmation from you. Bond of no bond, love or just lust, he had to have your verbal consent. He would never be able to live with himself if you regretted anything today. “I don’t know what will happen between us after… I don’t know how far this bond will go, but after this… I don’t think there’s any going back.” You’d honestly never heard such sweeter words.

“I don’t want to go back. I want to explore this with you, I want to have this with you. I just want you, Levi.” The corners of your eyes crinkled as you smiled up at his expression of slack-jawed awe.

“Can… Can you say that again?” He asked quietly, unable to take his eyes off you. You pushed his bangs back, cradling his cheek in your palm.

“I just want you.”

Unable to speak, Levi stooped down and poured all his gratitude and adoration into your mouth, his tongue lapping against yours as he slowly, tenderly pushed the tip of his cock through your folds. You gasped against his lips, clit pounding as you sucked him in. Fuck, you’d barely started and you were already on the edge of an orgasm. You knew Levi felt it too, judging by the way he had to stop to just breathe, burying his head in your neck to try and quiet himself. But his groaning vibrated against your skin.

Nothing you’d ever experienced had felt this good. The echo of his own pleasure throbbed in your cunt, your walls convulsing against his shaft as he pushed a little further inside, once again having to stop. It was torture of the best kind. Feeling him bob and twitch inside you, his teeth on your shoulder, your nails down his back. You could feel all of it.

As could he. Which is why Levi could only move so much before his thighs started to shake again. Fuck, he was only halfway inside you and it was already too much. Every micro-movement had his balls pulsing, his tip leaking desperately inside you, essences merging. It was so much and so good. You felt so silky, wrapping around him like that, heat scorching against his sensitive cock. You were so fucking tight, so wet he could almost hear the squelching of every helpless buck of your hips.

Inhaling a deep breath, Levi bit down harder on your shoulder, taking the leap and fully sheathing himself inside you. Your loud, broken moans danced with each other, your nails digging further into the muscles of his back. Chest heaving, breath heavy, Levi pulled back again to survey how you were doing. No better than him, he saw, though your delighted, slightly delusional smile could light up funerals.

“Good?” He managed to breath, gritting his teeth against your walls clenching around him.

You nodded, your sweat slicked hair sticking to your forehead. “Y-yeah, that’s one word for it. Fuck ‘Vi you feel fucking incredible.” Wrapping your legs around his hips, heels pressed into his lower back, you started to grind your cunt against his pelvis.

“Haa-aah! Fuck! Don’t… don’t do that. And st… stop fucking clenching like that! Gonna make me cum t-too soon.” He sounded a lot whinier than he meant to, pleading and begging with you rather than asking you. Your juices gushed at the sound of his cracking voice, his composure torn to shreds.

You fucking giggled at his desperation laced tone, and he punished you for it with a quick thrust. Your amusement turned instantly to bliss, forcing another pitched gasp from your chest. Of course, he wasn’t unaffected, and Levi learnt pretty quickly that any punishments for you fell back on him tenfold.

He pulled out a fraction, withdrawing his hips from the crease of your thighs, before pushing back in. It was all he could handle at the moment, these fractional micromovements. He assumed, under normal circumstances, they would do nothing for an ordinary partner. But you seemed just as affected as he was, keeping eye contact whilst he managed to fall into some kind of slow, sensual rhythm. Sweat beaded on his brow, slipping down the side of his head as you leaned up to press your lips against his. It was nothing more than soft contact and an exchange of breath. More than enough.

You followed his lead with pacing, back arching into his thrusts as he started to find himself. Your brows pinched, mouth dropping open with a stuttering whine as he brushed that spot inside you that sent you cross-eyed. What you weren’t expecting, however, was for Levi to suddenly slam his hips against yours, right into that same spot with a shattering cry. If it didn’t feel so good for you, you would have asked if something was wrong. You managed another question instead.

“Wh-where?” You asked. ‘Where do you feel it?’

Levi kept up his sudden change in pace, his balls slapping against the seam of your ass. “Haah, ah, in-inside! I– I don’t kn-aah! F-feels good!” You understood, too incoherent to unpack whatever the fuck that meant. You mewled along with him, eyes rolling into your skull as you became nothing but a ball of ecstacy.

Keeping a steady rhythm soon became impossible, urgency fueling every buck of his hips, the dragging of your walls down his cock coercing him ever closing to a blinding high. He didn’t know if he would survive, honestly, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he was only vaguely concerned about noise. Only to find that he didn’t really care. Not when you were writhing and squirming beneath him.

The moment your fingertip glazed over your clit, Levi lost all control. Grabbing your wrist, he shoved your hand back above your head, replacing your fingers with his own. His tip throbbed and pulsed in stimulation, and he felt the knot in his gut tighten exponentially.

“Don’t… ngha-haah! Fuck! Don’t stop… ‘Vi, sh-shit, don’t– don’t stop. Feels s-so fucking good.”

You started whimpering his name over and over again like some kind of mantra, throwing your head back with a cracked scream when he shoved your thighs from around his waist over his shoulders. He was no better with his volume, eyes falling shut as he borderline wailed from the shift of angle, that foreign sensitivity inside him stimulated to the point of numbness.

Your hands clawed the sheets beside your head, and Levi couldn’t help taking them into his own, threading your fingers together as you approached your highs together. Leaning down, you whimpered as he stretched your legs.

“I’m yours, Levi.”

The world seemed to fracture for a moment, before knotting back together as he was thrown over the edge by your words. Your mouth dropped open, back bowing to the point of possession as you let the embers of the bond consume you. Pleasure ripped through your veins like a hurricane as you clenched around his pulsating cock. You couldn’t tell if you were screaming, blood pumping too loudly in your ears to hear anything. All you knew was white. All you knew was stars and ecstasy. All you knew was him.

Levi threw his head back, eyes rolling and screwing shut as his hips slammed into your own one final time before he came with a roar of your name. Length twitching and quivering, he released himself into your soft cunt, painting your walls white with each wave of stuttering euphoria. He found himself bucking into your relentlessly, silently begging you to milk him for all he’s worth, your slick heat trapping him in a vice grip. Rope after rope of his seed spilled into your insatiable pussy, his toes curling with the endless crashing of pleasure.

Levi stayed sheathed inside you, slowly moving your legs down from his shoulders before collapsing into your sweat soaked body. He could hear your heartbeat in your chest, and feel it in his own. Stronger than before.

You felt both light and heavy at the same time. You felt both lost and found. A dichotomy of emotions roiling in your mind, but there was one thing you could settle on. You felt whole. That echoing thumping in your chest louder than before. Each brush of your fingers against his skin was felt as if it were against your own. Something had made a home in your heart, mind and soul. No, not something. Not just someone. Levi.

“Do you…?” You were almost afraid to ask if he felt it as well, but when he managed to lift his head from your chest to look you in the eye, and the moment you saw silver slivers line his irises, you knew he did. He felt it too.

You both whimpered slightly as he finally pulled out, huffing a breath against the salty skin of your neck. Levi’s arms slowly wrapped around your body, turning you both so you were lying on his chest. He honestly just wanted to hold you. Though he’d just been as close to you as one person could possibly get to another, he just wanted to feel you against him. He’d never been so completely overcome with a sense of belonging before. But here, now, lying with you resting against the combined rhythm of your beating hearts, is where he found his home.

Something shifted down the Ackerman bloodline. A bond had been solidified, another branch from his ancestral tree snapping into place. Levi felt it in his blood, and judging by your searching eyes, you too noticed.

“You alright?” He asked tenderly, swiping your hair from your brow. You shifted upwards to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“More than alright. I like feeling your heart.” He understood what you meant. Though your fingers rested over his chest, he knew you meant his rhythm in your heart. “I just want to know what else this… unlocks? Don’t really know how to describe that, but I just, I can feel you.” You nuzzled into his neck and his hand came to cradle your head. “And I wanna find out where you feel everything. ‘Inside’ wasn’t exactly very descriptive.” You teased, earning yourself a light slap to your side.

“I’ll draw you up a map next time.” Levi’s soul chimed along with your laugh. Should he say it? Would now be a good time? Or were those words too weighty for your first time together? They felt a bit too much, the night already charged with heightened emotion. Did he even need to say it? You most likely felt it anyway, but he knew he would need to say it at some point. More than that, he wanted to say it. Just… not yet.

Levi sighed contently, going to turn onto his side and tuck you safely into his chest, before the slight movement from his legs prompted a small wince. You, of course, noticed it.

“You okay?” His thumb instantly smoothed the crease of worry between your brows.

“‘M fine. I just, I knew I was out of practice, but fuck my thighs burn.” Your brows furrowed in brief confusion, before softening in instant realisation.

“Oh, that’s actually probably mine. You’re not the only one out of practice.”

“You feel like this every time?”

“Not every time. Only the times when my partner decides to fucking bend me in half.” You sharply bit at his nose and he waved you off.

“Tch, it felt good, didn’t it?”

“Wait ‘til you feel the cramps of my periods, Levi. This is fucking nothing in comparison.” You cackled as his expression fell to something of genuine fear. He hadn’t even thought about that. “Looks like it’ll be me bringing you soup and tea.” You grinned, your tongue poking out between your teeth. He adored it.

He shifted again, grunting in discomfort as the pain in your thighs barked in protest. “You’re gonna have to carry me to the shower. I can’t move.” You cackled again, and Levi thought that if he died now, he would be happy.

“If I'd known I was going to be bound to a two hundred pound man child I would have thought twice. Carry yourself.” You attempted to shove him but he only made himself heavier, now having shifted back on top of you.

“No, you wouldn’t have. You are bound to a two hundred pound man-child. And this man-child is in pain. Where’s your compassion?”

“In my cunt along with your leaking cum.”

“Fucking Walls you can’t just casually say shit like that!” Levi felt the vibrations of your laughter in his chest, melting further into your embrace when your hands gently sifted through his hair, scratching lightly against the fuzz of his undercut. “Don’t do that either, we need to clean up.” He mumbled sleepily into your skin. Naturally, you didn’t stop, feeling the pull of sleep on your own lids.

“We can doze for a few minutes…” You mumbled into his hair as he wrapped his arms around your middle once again, and turned you on your side, this time his head tucked into your chest.

“Fine… but don’t fall asleep on me.”

“Would I ever?”

It took all of two minutes, before you were both out like a candle in the wind.

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meltingforthatackerman · 1 year

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Ok, so here's something that I dumbly missed the first time I watched Shingeki No Kyojin. Maybe you all noticed it from the beginning, but in case you didn't, I thought I would share it.

After Levi and Mikasa rescue Eren from the Female Titan and the expedition fails, everyone is regrouping and getting ready to go back to the wall. There's a line of corpses, and we see Levi approaching them, and doing something on what is hinted to be Petra's corpse. It's easy enough to deduct that he ripped her patch off her jacket. After that, we see a scout called Dieter arguing with Commander Erwin because he wants to go back to get his friend's Ivan body, and even tho both Erwin and Levi tell him not to go back, he does it anyway. This results in more titans pursuing the surviving forces, a couple scouts being eaten, and Dieter almost getting killed. He basically put everyone in danger. The scouts end up having to dispose of the rest of bodies (Petra's and the rest of Levi's elite squad included) to be able to escape the titans. Once they're out of danger again, Dieter, shocked and ashamed of what he did, tries to apologize to Levi, expecting him to be pissed off at him. But instead, Levi gives him Ivan's Wings of Freedom patch to comfort him, and tells him that's the proof that he lived.

Except HE DOESN'T. He gives him Petra's insignia. The only thing he had left of his squad was that ripped off patch. And he gives it to him. He tells him it's Ivan's because he knows it's going to help him get through that hopeless situation. I don't EVER want to see anyone call Levi cold hearted or emotionless again, because I'll get violent. Levi showed A LOT of emotions, but he did it in an unconventional, less effusive way. This, among many other things, is why Levi Ackerman will always be the GOAT. 🐐❤️

#levi ackerman #captain levi #levi heichou #shingeki no kyojin #SNK #attack on titan #snk levi #female titan #Aot #Eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #erwin smith #Armin arlert

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elmundodeflor · 6 months

Text

There isn't a part of his body that is safe from harm. Every muscle, every crevice and cartilage burns like he has a soaring fever— pounds and stings worse than in any other battle he's fought.

Is it over yet...?

His cheeks are red, flooded with his own cries of pain. As the silver thread that makes up a stream from across the driest of valleys. It all hurts. It all stings. It all burns.

Damn.

He winces, cleans up his tear-tracks with the back of his hand. If he had to compare this much pain to something— anything— really, it'd sure be a black hole, he figures. A force deadlier than gravity that makes him wanna cave into his very own misery.

"They're dead stars, I've read.", Hanji'd told him once, as they'd pointed up to the skies. They were set out to camp for mission, and Erwin had put them both on watch duty. "They bend time and space, and start swallowing everything that's around them! Kinda crazy, huh?"

Their voice fades into an echo, and the vision of them two reaching for the stars is water that slips through his fingers. It's all gone. All set. All done. And now, he's left with nothing but a black hole sitting in his chest. A growing pull that threatens to swallow what little there is of him.

Is it over yet...?

He looks through the blur. The air smells of fire, like a hundred-year drought that brought the land to its end. He can taste it, on every inhale of his lungs: it'll take another hundred years for hope to bloom again. It'll take two thousand lives for dreams to part through all this death.

Erwin, Mike, Petra, Hanji... where are you...?

Are you guys watching...?

Is it over yet...?

His heart clenches, then expands and explodes into the glimmer of a billion different supernovas. There's not a single frame of him that's not empty now. Not a simple trace that hasn't been replaced by utter brokenness.

He falls to his knees, lets his body give in to the shake. Yes. For the first time since he's been taught how to combat, Levi Ackerman allows himself to fall. Rapid. Vivid. Painful.

His skin bleeds when it touches the floor; his throat so closed he can barely breathe. Perhaps, this, he tells himself—this endless spiral of ache— is exactly what happens when a soldier loves. It's the pieces of himself he's lent to the fallen, that now have been lost. The stubborn ways of the soul, to be so foolishly selfless now he's nothing but a living ghost.

He glances up at the skies, there where a ray of sun makes its way through the clouds. Will the black hole in him come and take him, too? Can it bend time and space, and make life the way it was?

He thinks about it for a second. Erwin, Mike, Petra, Hanji; everyone he'd ever longed for, had believed in this world. They had bled, and sworn, and resigned to war, so that the rest could see peace, even if just once. Would it be fair for him to wish he was gone, light as a feather, then? Did that mean he had to persist through existence, still? Even with this void eating him up inside?

He takes another look around. He has no answers, just yet. But, in the midst of destruction, he can make up the contours of something he's always known.

Something that brings warmth to the cool that always lays after stars are born.

Erwin, Mike, Petra, Hanji...

Are you guys watching...?

This is the result...

Of all of your devoted hearts...

And after that, he’s swallowed into the infinites of a black abyss, too.

READ THE COMPLETE FANFICTION HERE

"The Tale Of The Butterflies", a story where Hanji Zoe survives The Rumbling, is out now on AO3!

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pennylanewrites · 11 months

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sur le fil [levi ackerman x f!reader]

sur le fil; french. just in time.

table of contents

ch.1: la vie en rose moving to paris, you get to meet a set of interesting neighbours; one talkative, bubbly, exciting and kind. one reserved, serious and tortured. the first will be your guide through life in paris; the latter, you soon find out is your colleague.

ch.2: to vals tou gamou (el valse) your neighbours learn about your secret skills; cooking and painting. the latter causes some disturbance. petra makes a scene and you see what levi is actually like when he’s furious.

ch.3: je sais pas danser (tba june 17) your first real night out in paris is chaotic, for lack of a better noun. hange loves to party and levi and co follow. one of your neighbors helps you in your bed after one too many cosmos.

ch.4: non, je ne regrette rien you don't regret your choices, ever. your gloomy neighbor seems to be rather apologetic however. a certain blond visits the coffee shop.

ch.5: les amants d’un jour the apologetic neighbor seems to be drawn to you. for whatever's worth, he promises it's just for the night. you realize a few things about love and friendship and growth.

ch.6: sur le fil you finally get to see levi drunk and it's a sight for the books. your friend group decides to be teenagers again and play truth or dare. there's a lot of truth and just enough dare.

enter the taglist with a dm or ask!

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leviismybby · 1 year

Note

Hey Klara my Love 🌹❤️

How are you?

I'm glad you joined the drabble challenge too! May I ask for 22 "Why are you laughing?"

I can't wait to read it!

Sending Love & Hugs 🫂❤️

Hello Val love!💞 I'm doing fine, hope you're too!💝

22: "Why are you laughing?"

Levi Ackerman x reader

Fluff! We are jealous in this one!

Tapping your foot on the ground you watched as Petra followed Levi around like a lost puppy, the sparkle in her eyes made you more annoyed by the minute.

He looks your way a few times, noticing your piercing eyes. It wasn't often that you got jealous but you heard Petra and Nifa talking the other night and she mentioned how happy she is to be in his squad, how handsome he is etc.

Levi mouths a "What?" your way, and you just look in the other direction, ignoring him. You try your best not to make it obvious throughout the day as Petra tries her best to get on Levi's good side.

Night falls and Levi calls you into his office. He isn't the one to question your bad mood but you were extra bratty today and he wants to know why.

"You called captain." You close his door behind you and approach him as he leans with his hips against his table. "I did."

There's brief silence before he speaks again. "Why are you acting shitty today? Something you want to tell me?"

Yes, that Petra annoyed the hell out of you because she can't keep away from your man. You take a deep breath in, deciding to take a calmer tone than the one in your mind. "Nothing, you seem to rather enjoy someone else's company than mine."

Levi raises an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?" He asks already having an idea of what you are about to say but he still wants you to confirm what he is thinking.

"Oh, I don't know, spending all day with the only girl in your squad? She obeys everything you say and looks at you as if you put the fucking stars up to the-Why are you laughing?" You cut yourself off when you noticed Levi pinching the area between his eyes while laughing slightly.

"Because you are jealous. I don't think I have actually ever seen you jealous before." He looks at you and you scoff as you sit down on one of the chairs.

"Name." He leans off the table approaching you and lifting your face up by your jaw to look at him. "Petra is nothing but a comrade. She just has a bubbly personality and is talkative. I think no different of her than I do Moblit. Even if she feels some way towards me, the only one I ever think about is you."

You nod pulling him down by his cravat to peck him on the lips. "I just don't want you to leave." He kisses you on the forehead and pulls you to stand, wrapping his hands around your waist.

"I'm not going anywhere." You smile kissing him on the lips once more. "Though I do enjoy seeing you jealous." Groaning you pull away slapping his shoulder playfully.

"Let's not play the jealous game. I still remember you punching that poor bartender."

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#levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman #aot levi #captain levi #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi fluff #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fluff #levi x reader fluff

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 8 months

Text

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 11: April I

{{ Chapter 10: March I | Chapter 12: May I }} Chapter Directory

noooow y'all can understand why i had to rename the ex-boyfriend to zack instead of having him be porco because i made him too much of a dick skdjfksd

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, the ex boyfriend that used to be porco that i renamed to zack, emotionally abusive behavior, negative self-talk, levi being kinda mean again, levi being bad at feelings ✧ word count ➼ ~7.2k

It was finally spring break. After the events of last month, you were more than ready to leave town and get a much needed vacation. Luckily, Hizuru wasn't far and was just across the bay, so you got a nice cruise ride in addition to your time spent at the resort. You decided to keep this trip just between you and Petra, spending the week with just the two of you to recharge and be ready to take on the rest of the semester once you came back.

Levi couldn't be more thrilled. The past few months have all involved something related to you that ended up distracting him from reading or writing. Having you gone for a week means he can finally catch up on work without being distracted by your shenanigans every other week.

However, he currently found himself standing at the doorway of the apartment, glancing into the living room. He was thrilled for sure, but despite that, he seemed to have a heavy heart when he entered his empty apartment. It didn't make any sense to him. Why would he feel remorseful that you're gone when all you've ever done is be a pain in the ass to him?

He couldn't deny it. He missed you. Levi felt a confusing mix of emotions and he couldn't keep his mind off you all week. Given your habits with partying, he wondered how you were doing on your own in a foreign town. Sure, Petra was with you, but she could hardly count as a sober contact. If she was drinking with you, you'd have to rely on yourself to get home, which was unsettling to him.

He found himself both looking forward to and dreading you getting back home. It got to the point that when you did find yourself back home, Levi did everything in his power to ignore your presence. He was too confused and lost in his thoughts to want to be around you. He would have a mix of happy thoughts and distressing ones of confusion and anxiety while you were around. Thus, he barely said a word to you once you got home.

"Nice to see you too, I guess," you mumbled, a little taken aback by your roommate's increased level of aloofness.

Ever since November and especially since January, the two of you had started to bond. Levi wasn't always referring to you as an annoying undergrad and you no longer saw him as just your "grumpy roommate". You understood each other more and there was some foundation of basic respect there, but none of that was to be seen at the moment.

You awkwardly shifted around the house as you unpacked your suitcase from the trip.

"Hey, have you seen my phone charger?" you asked Levi, who was standing in the kitchen, brewing his late afternoon tea.

"No," he said, glancing at you. "Why would I have?"

"You're the one that's been here all week," you said with a shrug.

"Yeah," Levi scoffed, "actually doing work, unlike whatever the fuck you were doing across the bay."

You frowned at him, slightly offended by his comment.

"Hey, I was doing work!" you said with a pout. "Whatever. Can I borrow your charger then? My phone's almost dead."

"What else is new?" Levi said dryly.

You were on your way to grabbing his phone charger when you heard him make that comment and you immediately halted, scowling while looking back at him.

"Okay, what the hell is up with you?" you said sternly as you walked back towards him. "You've barely said a word to me ever since I got home. Did I say something? Do something? Did I not clean something the way you wanted it?"

Levi responded with an overly exasperated groan.

"God, it's such a pain in the ass to have you back again."

You fell quiet at his comment. The fact that this was all he said in response to your questions over what you did wrong indicated to you that it was just your presence that he was pissed about. You weren't sure why his comment stung you as harshly as it did. He essentially thought the same thing when you first moved in and you didn't give a single shit—but now the idea of him hating you made you want to shut down and hide.

"Well," you spoke quietly, "I'm sorry being around me is so bothersome for you."

Levi didn't respond, which only confirmed your suspicions.

You clenched your fists as you felt your emotions beginning to rise up and threaten to boil over.

He was an asshole. That's all he was and that never changed and you were a fool to think otherwise. He probably hated you for all the times he had to come rescue you from some dumb situation that you found yourself in.

"Whatever," you whispered as you walked past him and grabbed your phone and keys.

"Where are you going?" Levi said with a sigh as you opened the door.

"Getting some air, I guess," you grumbled before glancing back at him without fully making eye contact. "I thought we were over this."

~~~~~

You had stormed out in such a hurry that you didn't even bother to change into outdoor clothes. You were currently swinging alone at an empty playground that had been long abandoned for the day due to the incoming storm. The wind blew through your hair, which had come undone from its ponytail and you lacked the motivation to put it back up. You were wearing a loose t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants on.

Normally, you'd feel a sense of shame for being out in public like this—but right now, you couldn't give less of a shit. You needed to get away from Levi.

Things had begun to improve ever since November when he took you on that drive after your aunt had decided to tear your entire life apart through a single phone call. You had reached some point of mutual respect. He wasn't the aloof asshole you thought he was, and you weren't the naïve undergrad that he thought you were. After January, it even seem like he cared for your well-being. He went out in the middle of the night searching for you and even went out of his way to care for you when you were sick.

Yet, he seemed to have completely regressed after you came back from spring break. What if you were misreading him? What if his opinion about you never actually changed and you were just deluding yourself?

Maybe I should find another apartment after all.

Levi's lack of a response earlier when you were trying to figure out what was wrong only confirmed your suspicion that he thought you were a nuisance. You had asked him what you did wrong so you can do better, and all he responded with was that he was sick of having you around. If it was a few months ago, you'd be more than happy to continue being a nuisance to him. With how grumpy he always was, it felt like a comedic job to you.

However, after you had opened up to him about your dynamic with your aunt and even slightly alluded to your situation with Zack, you had hoped that dynamic would have changed or at least improved. The fact that it didn't seem to wear away at you.

His comment had hurt you.

You gripped at the chain holding the swing onto the bar above it as thoughts of your inability to hold any type of long-term friendship began to swirl around in your mind. Oluo and Gunther were surface-level at best. You called Petra your 'best friend', but even that relationship felt shallow, as if she was just tolerating you. You were always the one reaching out.

Being tolerated was a feeling you were used to. After all, that basically summed up your relationship with Zack. You had started off as high school sweethearts, but over the course of the three years that was your stormy relationship with him, you knew that he only tolerated your presence, which is why he was more than ready to kick you out in June.

As if he was listening in on your thoughts, you felt your phone buzz and frowned when you saw that you had received a text from your ex-boyfriend.

> [zack (3:45pm)]: we need to talk. i'll pick you up at the bar we used to go to. > [you (3:46pm)]: why > [zack (3:51pm)]: wtf do you mean why? plus some of your shit is still at my place > [you (3:53pm)]: wonder who's fault that was > [zack (3:54pm)]: the hell is up with this attitude? just get to the bar, i'll be there in 20.

~~~~~

Levi's day had been going terribly. Without even considering your little tantrum, he was already stressed about a research update he had to do in two weeks that he hadn't had the time to work on.

The forefront of his mind blamed it on you. You came home and immediately began disrupting his life and bringing chaos home again—but he knew that wasn't true. It wasn't your fault. You were gone for an entire week throughout spring break and he still wasn't able to get anything done. His inability to work had nothing to do with you.

Upon realizing that fact, he scrunched his eyebrows together, wondering if he had actually been a bit too cold with you once you got home. He had caught himself getting much softer with you throughout the last month, even allowing you to sleep in the same bed with him because you had a nightmare. That, itself, was already unheard of for Levi Ackerman.

He brought out his phone. The time was a bit past 6:30pm. He had around two hours before he had to get to the café to pick up a closing shift from Onyankopon. He opened up his text message thread with you and frowned, wondering if he should shoot you an apology message.

Eventually, he decided against it. After all, why should he apologize to you when you were the one being a little shit?

Still, you were gone for a while. It was around 2:00pm when you stormed out of the apartment, and it was starting to get late.

He placed his phone in his pocket, annoyed for even getting remotely concerned about your well-being for something as simple as you stepping out of the house for the day. He could feel himself getting attached, despite all of his efforts to get himself not to. The feelings that you elicited out of him were miserable to deal with and he knew the best way to get rid of them was to put a stop to any feelings of this newfound attachment. Why he was even getting attached to you in the first place was astonishing. It pissed him off.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he shut his laptop and got up from his desk, walking out of his bedroom. He grabbed his jacket off of the coat hanger as well as his car keys, deciding on going for a drive in an attempt to clear his mind from any remaining thoughts of you.

~~~~~

After an exceedingly awkward dinner and car ride with your ex-boyfriend, you finally arrived back at Zack's apartment. You felt an uncomfortable, dull feeling appear in your chest as you walked into the apartment that you had lived in for the first two years of your undergrad. It could hardly be even called an apartment. It appeared more like a loft that had multiple bedrooms and bathrooms and nearly triple the amount of the living space that you currently had in your apartment with Levi. It was obnoxiously luxurious and it ironically made you appreciate your humble lifestyle with Levi now.

You shuffled awkwardly as you followed Zack towards the dining room area. The t-shirt and sweatpants that you wore felt out of place and inappropriate. He rarely saw you like this, if ever. Even when you were home for the entire day, you were constantly wearing outdoor clothes, like a blouse and jeans, around him. That's just how you were. Appearing the way you did now around him felt wrong, although you couldn't quite explain why. It wasn't that you were uncomfortable with dressing more casually—you did that at home now all the time, but the minute that you stepped out the door of your home and into Zack's, you began to feel your anxiety rise up.

"Well, you certainly look like a slob," Zack mumbled, glancing at your outfit.

"Well, I didn't have time to dress up for you, Your Majesty," you retorted, frowning at him, "since you decided to text me last minute."

Zack was not used to this outspoken nature of your personality. When you were with him, you were much more pleasurable to be around—at least according to Zack. He did not appreciate this new facet of your personality that has suddenly arisen within the past few months.

He made a head nod towards a box of some of your stuff that was casually thrown into a corner of the living room. You looked over before taking a seat at the dining table.

"What did you want to talk about?"

He sat down across from you.

"Listen," he began, and you immediately clenched your jaw, having a basic idea of where this was going. "I know I overreacted when we left off. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. I shouldn't have kicked you out."

Your mind went back to the fateful interaction with Zack that led to you being forced to find an apartment last minute. No matter how you tried to rationalize it, you knew that Zack was controlling and prone to getting extremely angry whenever you resisted his wishes. Small grievances with him had built up to a penultimate point in which you confronted him and he reacted poorly.

If this was any other day, you'd likely immediately tell him to fuck off—but the events of the day that had happened earlier with Levi left you much more emotionally vulnerable than usual. You'd be lying if the idea of falling into someone's arms didn't bring even the slightest amount of comfort to your mind—even if that someone was Zack.

However, as Zack continued to monologue about the potential of you moving back in with him, you began to pull up the reality of your relationship with him. You were definitely more unhappy than you were willing to admit to anyone and you knew it had something to do with his controlling nature. He had kept you pretty isolated from any potential friends—and now that you think about it, that could be why you struggled with making and keeping deep friendships now.

No matter how desperate you were right now for some form of intimacy to make up for the turmoil swirling within you throughout the latter half of the day, the last thing you wanted to do was get back together with someone that felt the need to dictate your every move and action.

"You're the one that kicked me out, Zack," you said once he finally gave you a chance to speak.

"Well, now I'm inviting you back in."

"What if I don't want to?" you responded, feeling your anxiety kicking in. Zack hadn't even done anything yet, but your instincts immediately dumped all of the reactions that constituted being anxious onto you.

"What the fuck do you mean you 'don't want to'?" Zack asked, scowling at you, the anger beginning to creep into his voice.

You took a deep breath, clenching your fist that was resting on your lap to maintain your resolve.

"I said what I said. You kicked me out and I'm over it."

At this point, Zack had fully realized that he can't control you anymore, which further irritated him.

"Whatever," he said, waving you off. "Just take your shit and leave."

"Gladly," you responded coldly as you began to get up.

"I'm not driving you."

You stopped and looked back at him. You weren't that surprised by his comment, but you still felt a little off-put by his lack of remorse to just leave you stranded again.

"The buses around here aren't running this late."

"Sounds like a you problem."

You remembered this. If Zack got pissed at you and didn't get what he wanted from you, then no one was getting anything at all.

"You really expect me to walk?"

He shrugged.

"Or sleep on the streets until the buses are up. I don't really give a shit."

You felt your anxiety quickly turn into anger and frustration as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up. The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of the person responsible for all of your recent misfortunes, but what was currently happening was representative of all the bullshit that you had to deal with for three years.

"Fine," you said quietly as you headed for the door, not even bothering to grab your stuff from him. "You're a dick."

As you walked out the door, you felt your breathing quickly destabilizing.

Recently, the only person you had been regularly referring to as a dick was your grumpy roommate. However, after having this interaction with Zack, you realized that Zack was actually a dick and that Levi was nowhere close to it. It brought up a slight sense of guilt regarding your hostility towards your roommate. You would choose living with Levi over moving back in with Zack any day.

Reminiscing about your attitude towards your roommate immediately reminded you of him, and although you were still mad at him for his behavior earlier, you knew that you could at least trust him to not leave you stranded.

As a result, you immediately pulled out your phone and shot him a quick text, asking if he could pick you up as you continued to navigate your way out of Zack's apartment complex.

~~~~~

The rain had already started pouring. There wasn't too much wind, but the rainfall was heavy, which would have made it even more impossible to walk home if you were forced into that decision. Instead, you were waiting for Levi to arrive, seeking shelter under the canopy of Zack's apartment building to stay dry.

You glanced up as you heard the front door open and saw that Zack came downstairs with the box of your belongings with the intention of tossing it all into the dumpster. You watched as all of your former stuff disappeared into the green container of garbage.

When Zack saw you on his way back, he scowled at you.

"When I said sleep on the streets, I didn't mean here. Fuck off."

"You fuck off," you replied, matching his scowl.

The two of you held a staring contest for a few minutes until you heard a car drive up out of the corner of your eye. A feeling of relief washed over you once you saw that it was Levi's. You could finally go home and forget this nightmare.

He had arrived faster than expected, and part of you knew that this was likely due to a combination of the situation that had occurred in January and how far out you currently were. Plus, at this point, he was probably more than ready to expect texts from you to ask him to pick you up. It had become a pattern, although you weren't entirely sure how you felt about that fact.

You did not include in your text message the reasoning as to why you were trapped at an apartment that was a 20-minute drive from campus, so you weren't too surprised when you saw a look of concern on Levi's face as he saw you scowling at who he was able to deduce as your ex-boyfriend.

"You'd really call anyone to pick you up, huh?" Zack said to you as you began to walk off. "You're fucking pathetic."

If you were the same person that you were when you were with him, then his insult might have had some merit. If this was a year ago, you really wouldn't have had anyone to call. You didn't have any reliable friends back then, and that's likely what Zack still believed to be the case now.

"He's my roommate, you asshole," you said as you grit your teeth, "and a much better one than you ever were."

Your last comment must have made something snap within Zack's psyche, as he immediately grabbed onto your wrist before you were able to walk further towards Levi's car.

In the split second before you were forced to turn around to face Zack, you were able to see Levi's face transition from one of confusion to one of immediate concern as he began to move out of the car to see what was going on.

"What, I leave you for less than a year and you're already hoeing around with other men?" Zack scolded. "Why the fuck would you get a male roommate? Did you do this shit-"

"Just leave me alone, Zack!" you yelled back at him as you yanked your wrist back from him.

"You're fucking pathetic, _____. I'm giving you maybe another two weeks before you come crawling-"

"Do you ever shut up?" a third voice said.

You looked up and saw that Levi had walked over from the car after seeing the commotion. He held an irritated look on his face that was directed towards your ex-boyfriend, able to fully deduce the context of what was going on.

Zack was caught off-guard by your roommate coming out of the car to come to your defense. He was almost half a foot taller than Levi, but Levi's commanding presence took up all the space between them, making it so that it took Zack a few seconds longer than usual to come up with a retort.

Levi rolled his eyes at him as he turned to follow you after you began to storm towards the car, not paying particular attention to Zack, who had begun to open his mouth to speak again.

Any word that came out of his mouth was unheard, although you couldn't tell if that was due to your own thoughts overwhelming you or if it was because of the rain and wind that was rapidly picking up into a full-fledged storm.

Once you finally got into the car and shut the door, you buried your face in your hands as the tears finally flowed out from your eyes and down your cheeks, eventually collecting in the palms of your hands, only adding onto the chaotic whirl of thoughts that were running rampant in your head.

~~~~~

Levi remained silent as you continued to sob quietly in the passenger's seat, giving you time and space to process whatever the hell just happened.

You peeked through your fingers as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. With how frequently it was vibrating, you were already able to tell that it was Zack spamming you with text messages.

You glanced at your phone, opening the texts, although you were barely able to see with your tears clouding your vision. You vaguely saw a string of text messages of Zack calling you pathetic, a burden, a waste of three years of his life, and everything in-between. You clenched at your phone as you felt more tears gathering up in your eyes and you shakily navigated to his contact information to block him before tossing your phone into the back seat of the car.

After a few more minutes, you felt your breathing stabilize and you rubbed at your now-swollen eyes.

"I assume that's your shitty ex?" Levi finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you.

"Wonder how you figured that out," you grumbled with a sniffle.

"Tch," Levi said as he clenched his jaw, more than a little annoyed with the attitude that was attached to that response. "Why'd you have to choose the one night that I have to work an extra shift to pull this shit? How the fuck does you 'getting some air' translate into this?"

While Levi's grumpy attitude and snarky remarks were something you were usually used to and barely fazed by, given the fact that you were already really emotional and vulnerable from what had just happened with Zack made Levi berating you hurt much more than usual.

"I'm sorry, okay?!" you yelled out. "I didn't know who else to call. You could've said no."

Levi glanced at you for a moment. He found himself getting increasingly annoyed.

That wasn't the point. He wasn't annoyed because he had to come out to get you. That was the least of his concerns. What had concerned him more was what could have happened if he didn't come to get you. What annoyed him the most was how reckless you were and how you were never able to see that.

"Why did you even go to see him anyway? You said he's your ex? The one that was dragging you around all over the place and-"

"I don't know, okay?!" you yelled out again, feeling increasingly frustrated with every word that was coming out of Levi's mouth. "He just texted me and said we needed to talk and as usual I was dumb enough to listen to him. I don't even know what the hell I was looking for. The minute I got into his car, I was able to tell that he wanted to do something along the lines of getting back together and I was enough of an idiot to believe even for a second that it was genuine—and then I saw how pissed he got when I said no and he kicked me out all over again and I'm always, always, always making these stupid decisions and it's probably just a burden on everyone around me: Zack, you, my aunt—hell, probably even Petra and Oluo and-"

"Cut that out," Levi said in an attempt to cut off your rambling.

"-and my aunt was probably right in that I'm literally wasting my life getting a degree in something that might not even get me a guaranteed job. Literally every single decision I have ever made in my entire life has been a fucking disaster and I bet you can't fucking wait to get rid of me once summer arrives, because I'd be wanting to get rid of me, too! And-"

"God dammit, cut that shit out, _____!"

The storm was pouring down on you full-force at this rate, almost as if it was mirroring how volatile your emotions were.

As soon as Levi snapped at you, you clenched your fists, nearly trembling with rage.

After a few seconds of saying nothing, you decided you had enough. You immediately went to undo your seatbelt, fumbling around a bit more than usual due to the shaking that you couldn't seem to control.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Levi asked as he noticed your movements.

His eyes widened and he had to slam down on the brake pedal as he noticed you open the door to the car as he was still driving.

Luckily, he wasn't going very fast in the first place due to the storm, but you still ended up stumbling out of the car, nearly falling straight down onto the soaked concrete.

He slowly came to a stop right next to you, leaning towards the passenger seat as the door still hung open.

You shot him a glare before turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Where the hell are you going in the middle of this storm?"

You stopped walking and clenched your fists as you faced him again.

"Anywhere but here!" you shouted. "I'm sorry I made you come out all this way. I'll find a cheap motel to stay at or something if I'm really that much of a bother to you right now."

You turned towards no direction in particular and began walking again.

"_____, come back."

You glared at him again.

"So you can just berate me again? Fuck off."

You continued walking.

"You're such a dumbass."

You halted in your footsteps as he blatantly insulted you again.

"Excuse me?"

"I said what I said," he said, frowning at you. "Did you really think I'd come out all this way if I didn't want to?"

You matched his frown.

"Well, it sure sounds like it with how pissed you sound."

"Because you piss me off."

You threw your hands up in frustration.

"Then why the fuck are you still here?!"

Levi let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, I'm pissed beyond belief and I'm still here. Now get the fuck back in the car before you get all soaked and make a mess all over the seat."

You glared at him for a few more seconds before mumbling a "fine" and reluctantly getting back into the car.

He drove in silence for a bit, bewildered at the fact that you almost ran off into the middle of nowhere during a raging storm without your phone. If that wasn't the definition of reckless, then he didn't know what was.

"You didn't have to come out just to pick me up," you mumbled again. "I know I texted you, but that doesn't mean shit."

"Tch, did you not hear me?" he said, slightly shaking his head at your repeated commentary. "I came because I wanted to."

He glanced at you before speaking up again.

"Get over yourself, you didn't force me to do shit."

His grip on the wheel tightened as he looked back towards the road.

"You're not special."

He heard your breath hitch at that last comment and his finger tapped on the wheel gently as he felt a very subtle hint of guilt creeping up in the back of his mind.

You're not special.

That thought kept running through your mind. You knew that you weren't special. The chaos that was your life was pretty indicative of that. Yet, why did it hurt so much when it was him that said it?

You finally opened your mouth to speak again. Your voice was quiet, as if you had given up on fighting against that comment. You'd accepted it, whether you wanted to or not.

"Then why the fuck are you so pissed off?"

It took Levi a moment to figure out the best way to respond as he continued to glare at the road.

"I'm pissed because you're always putting yourself in these situations without thinking for yourself. You're always going alone to get shit-faced at a party or staying out late enough that you're forced to walk home, or getting into shitty situations with shitty people."

You didn't respond, trying to figure out how to interpret his words.

"I'm pissed because you keep putting yourself in danger."

Ah, you thought as you came to a conclusion over what he was trying to say. He was saying that you were too dumb or naïve to take care of yourself.

Whether that was actually true or not didn't matter to you—that's what was going through your head. No matter what Levi was actually trying to say, you had now settled on the idea that you were nothing more than a nuisance to him and that he felt some weird sense of responsibility for you. Similar to everyone else in your life, you were nothing but a burden to him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Levi slightly looked over at you, noting that you were getting caught up in your head from the events of today. He knew that he was at least partially responsible, yet he still never imagined that he'd find himself in this type of situation again. He was used to picking you up from random places at this point. He was fine with that. However, picking you up from your ex-boyfriend's in the middle of what could be interpreted as a violent confrontation was not something that he was expecting to have to deal with.

By the time you got home, you were shivering from standing out in the rain. Levi had given you his jacket to wear and it hung off of your shoulders as you got up out of the car. It had provided you some warmth, but your shivering wasn't going to resolve itself if you didn't change into some dry clothes.

As you walked from the parking lot into the lobby of your apartment, you saw Levi pass you your phone, having completely forgotten that you tossed it to the backseat of the car after blocking Zack. You mumbled a quiet thanks as you put it into your pocket.

The two of you walked into your apartment and you noticed that literally nothing had been moved since earlier in the afternoon. All the stuff you were unpacking was left in place, despite the fact that the mess was likely driving Levi through the roof. You gripped on his jacket, an uncomfortable bubbling feeling rising up within you. It was just another inconvenience that you unintentionally threw onto him.

He flipped on the light switch, allowing you to properly see the mess that you had made. However, within the next 30 seconds, a crash of lightning lit up the room before all of the lights fell dark.

The power went out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Levi groaned as he tossed his keys onto the table.

The night couldn't get much worse.

~~~~~

You let out an exhausted sigh as you slid down the wall across the hall from Levi. The two of you gathered next to the balcony doors for what little light peaked in through the blinds. It seemed that the power only went out for your apartment building and the street lights were still functional. There was a small candle lit in between the two of you.

You had stumbled into your room and changed into a hoodie and a pair of loose pajama shorts. You had your hands tucked into your hoodie pocket as you looked over towards Levi with a blank expression, unsure of how to process the events of the day.

He was sitting with his back leaning against the wall with his legs out in front of him as he matched your expression. The two of you were quiet for a bit, simply listening to the rain.

The entire room lit up as another flash of lightning cracked through the sky.

You felt yourself flinch and tense up at the sudden sound. You weren't particularly afraid of storms, but you were significantly on edge due to the events of the day. Every sudden movement or sound made your heart skip a beat. Your mind was on overdrive.

"How was your break?" Levi asked. He had noticed your reactions to the storm. Initiating conversation, no matter how frustrated he was at you currently, would at least provide you with a distraction.

You gave him a weird look before freezing up again due to another lightning crash. You rapidly shook your head to try to shake off the tension.

"It was okay," you finally replied. "Traveling was more annoying than the trip was enjoyable—honestly kinda wish I just stayed here."

Levi grunted at that last comment without acknowledging or dismissing it, which made you frown.

"Which I guess would've ruined your break. I assume you just spent the entire break reading and writing?"

"Something like that," he mumbled.

In all honesty, he probably would have also preferred it if you had stayed for break.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them, resting your chin on them. No matter how much you tried, you couldn't get the events of the day out of your head.

"Lev', can I ask you something?"

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you really didn't mind coming out, then why were you so pissed off?"

He blinked at you, not really expecting the question to be brought up again.

"I already told you."

"I don't believe you," you said with a frown. There had to be more. What he said and what he did was too contradictory for you to just accept without getting more information.

Levi gave you an annoyed scowl and clenched his jaw. After a moment, he parted his lips to speak again.

"Why did you go back to him?"

"What?" you asked, not expecting him to deflect your question with another question.

Levi looked you straight in the eye. He couldn't wrap his head around why you would've ever been involved with someone like Zack. A few months ago, he wouldn't give a single shit, but now that he's had a few months of knowing you, he legitimately could not understand why.

"Answer the question."

"Answer mine first," you immediately responded.

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Because you're always putting yourself in these shitty situations, _____," he said in an exasperated tone. "First, there was the thing with Floche, and now this. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to pick you up from somewhere and that's not even counting when I had to drive around the fucking city looking for you when you went out."

You fell silent, hugging your knees a bit tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm such a shitshow, Levi," you mumbled. "That shouldn't have to fall on you."

"Tch," Levi's eyebrows scrunched together into a frown. "Didn't I tell you to cut that shit out?"

"Cut what out?"

"Quit pitying yourself," he said as he leaned forward and gently flicked your forehead. "That's not what made me mad."

A pout appeared on your face as you rubbed at your forehead, although you finally began to understand what it was that he was trying to say. He was pissed that you kept finding yourself in these situations, but he never thought it was because you couldn't take care of yourself. You were more than capable of it, which is why he's pissed that you still found yourself in those situations.

"Your turn," he said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"What?"

"I answered your question," he nodded towards you, placing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Now you answer mine. Why did you go back to him?"

You looked down, away from him as you contemplated what it was that you wanted to say in response.

Levi could tell that the topic was another sore spot. You had reacted similarly during Halloween when Hange brought up the topic of your parents.

"He..." you started speaking before trailing off.

"He what?"

You buried your face in your knees, clenching your fists as you pulled up those turbulent memories. You were more emotionally vulnerable than ever.

"He made me feel good about myself when nothing else would," you said, your voice muffled. "My parents had just died, my friendships at school were falling apart because I couldn't keep my shit together, and he just gave me whatever I wanted as long as..."

You trailed off again before lifting yourself back up and looking towards Levi, without really making eye contact.

"...as long as I gave him what he wanted, too. As long as I just shut up and listened to him, as long as I wore the clothes he wanted me to wear and presented myself the way he wanted me to present."

You recalled that Zack didn't even really let you hang out with anyone outside of school when you were dating, which heavily contributed to why you were so confused about navigating everything on your own now.

Upon noticing Levi's lack of a response, you buried your face in your knees again as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up again from the tears building up.

"You probably think I'm pathetic, don't you?" you mumbled as your voice began to break up. The last thing you wanted to do was to start crying again, but the events of the day only added to any pre-existing thoughts of self-doubt and shame.

"Stupid? Yes," Levi began to speak. "Reckless? Yes. But pathetic?"

He paused as you looked up at him again.

"No, I don't."

You gave him a slight nod as you used the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe away any stray tears that were threatening to fall.

"You don't need that douchebag's approval—or anyone's approval, actually—to be worthy of love and respect, _____."

You felt your cheeks immediately begin to flush up at his statement. You were also able to see out of the corner of your eye that Levi began to awkwardly shuffle in place, as if he just realized what he had said.

"So quit pitying yourself like that. You're valued more than you think you are."

You pressed your chin into your knees and wrapped your arms around your knees in a way that hid your cheeks that were rapidly heating up. You've felt nothing but guilt and turmoil the entire night, but his comment made something else pop up deep within you. You didn't know how to describe it. You didn't know if it felt good or bad, but there was something there.

Levi watched as you struggled to navigate your own reaction to his comment. He tapped his finger against his leg as he held his hands in his pockets. He'd be lying if he said that there weren't also confusing feelings that were arising within him as well. He remembered pulling up to Zack's apartment and feeling slightly distressed upon seeing you with Zack—maybe even a little jealous, although he would never readily admit to that—before feeling incredibly panicked as soon as he saw Zack grab you.

He could no longer deny that you were not the shallow undergrad that he thought you were when he first met you in June. You weren't just a student dredging their way through college. Life had thrown misfortunes at you left and right and you were forced to try to navigate through that on your own. There was more to you than you had ever let on.

"Just promise me something," he finally said, waiting for you to look up at him. "Just, try not to get yourself into those situations again."

You looked down again, wondering if his intention was to tell you that he didn't have time to help you anymore when the time came to it. However, he didn't give you much of a chance to dwell on that thought.

"It'd be a shame for me to see something happen to you."

You immediately felt your cheeks flare up again. It was clear that he cared at least to some extent and that itself was enough to get you to question everything around you, including the nature of your relationship with him.

"Storm's over," Levi mumbled as he began to stand up. As he was pushing himself up off the ground, the lights flickered back on.

He held his hand out towards you and helped you get up off the ground.

"Go take a shower and get warm since you decided to casually run off into the rain earlier," he said, motioning towards the bathroom, letting go of your hand. "You were a pain in the ass the last time you got sick."

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