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startenthousand · 31 minutes
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Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.
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startenthousand · 60 minutes
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reason for a snout is so you can stick your sniffer in areas, in order to get an accurate sniff. this was necessary back when god still hadnt finished the big jigsaw puzzle yet and there were unfilled crevices everywhere. end of chapter 4.
chapter 5: the smoothening of reality and decline of snouted beasts
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startenthousand · 2 hours
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startenthousand · 2 hours
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happy april 30th!
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startenthousand · 2 hours
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i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????
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startenthousand · 3 hours
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startenthousand · 11 hours
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idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that
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startenthousand · 12 hours
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not to sound old fashioned or whatever but getting rid of payphones is a mistake, and the only reason we should do it is if we're replacing them with free, public use phones. Having the ability to reach out to others in every place of public congress and transit is an important safety feature and the advent and adoption of smartphones does not negate their utility.
I know i've already lost this battle, so it's somewhat pointless to say, but smartphones die. chargers aren't always there. smartphones break. some people don't have them. Being able to call someone and ask for help, to get in touch with friends and family, without relying on something you yourself own, is a societal good.
Furthermore, expecting everybody to have a single piece of fragile technology on them at all times to the point that critical services are not available without them is truly mind-boggling to me. This goes for things like restaurant menus and transit maps as well. you should be able to navigate the world without a brick made by Apple or Samsung, and if you can't, then something is fundamentally broken. It's one thing for new technology to augment an existing real-world experience, it's another thing to usurp it entirely.
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startenthousand · 12 hours
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I'm kinda shy but if youre persistent in getting to know me for 5-6 years I can be a good addition to your household
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startenthousand · 13 hours
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I mean, I don't want to sound stupid, but I always assumed that the Ancient Romans were mammals
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startenthousand · 13 hours
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I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.
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startenthousand · 14 hours
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learning that apparently several hundred people have been pronouncing 'miette' as 'mighty' has actively worsened my day
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startenthousand · 14 hours
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neesh vs. neech vs. nitch FIGHT
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startenthousand · 15 hours
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startenthousand · 15 hours
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"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.
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startenthousand · 16 hours
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Tumblr on the Seven Seas
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🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow
Can we stop all normalising the use of "sc*rvy" as a fun little thing to call people?? I literally had sc*rvy last year and it was even worse than when I got my hand cut off. Fuck anyone who uses the S word without even considering how triggering it can be to those of us who have ACTUALLY suffered though it
🌅 castedaway Follow
No wenches?
🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow
Honestly you people are so insufferable I genuinely hope you walk the plank
🌅 castedaway Follow
AHOY???
🍑 plundermebooty Follow
Okay but OP is literally a landlubber, mateys
🌴 pegmeg
nahhh why is it literally always landlubbers faking scurvy and sending plank threats ☠☠
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🗡wagscallion Follow
everyone says "land ho!" but never "land ma'am"
💨 matelotsaboteur
Really makes you think
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💃 crossdressing101 Follow
this whole crew was so gullible ngl, i just cut my hair and dressed in my fathers clothes and they all fell for it, hook line and sinker??
💃 crossdressing101 Follow
honestly im surprised no one has found me out yet. surely i dont seem that much like a man? i mean it makes this way easier but like. im still a woman. obviously
🕺 crossdressing101 Follow
mateys i have come to a shocking realisation,
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⛵ privatesteer Follow
wildest argument for piracy i've ever heard was that the gold stored on government ships is dangerous cause it weighs them down, so they're just 'lightening the load'
🧜‍♀️ kiss-pretty-ocean324 Follow
աaռռa ʟɨֆȶɛռ ȶօ ֆɨʀɛռ ֆօռɢ?
⛵ privatesteer Follow
no thanks
🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210
outta my way gayboy im boutta get it
🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210
i have drowned at sea
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⚓ shiveringtimbers Follow
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🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow
i am SO sick of the term "ship-shape" like, matey, which shape?? Ships come in so many fucking shapes like have non of you ever boarded more than one vessel in your career???? Anyway fake ship fans DNI with this post i can NOT be bothered with your tomfuckery today
💦 longjohngolder Follow
girl its not that deep ☠
🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow
to YOU. i just get it
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🙍‍♂️ dudeindistress Follow
honestly being held for ransom isnt that bad. kinda nice to be held
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🦜 pollypockets Follow
SQUAWK
🐦 aviated Follow
CAW SQUAWK SQUAWK
🦜 pollypockets Follow
CA-CAW
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🍑 plundermebooty Follow
the cabin boy just winked at me?? after offering to help clean my gun? privately. in my quarters. tonight.
🍑 plundermebooty Follow
i think i hauve scurvy
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🌊 swabmydick Follow
mateys I SWEARR my captain and his first mate are gonna kiss before our next voyage. they literally have so much romantic tension every time i see them its nauseating
🕶 longjohngolderdeactivated16511205
wtf its so problematic and harmful to ship real people?? unfollowing rn i thought you were better than this
🌊 swabmydick Follow
i literally rob and kill people for a living?????? that's where you draw the line???
🌴 pegmeg
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op killed them
🌊 swabmydick Follow
even better news mateys, they kissed ☠☠☠
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startenthousand · 16 hours
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