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writerlyhabits · 2 years

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The Diner

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: For days at a time, all Bucky could think about was you. He wanted to have you in his arms constantly ever since he’d taught you how to dance. And after a sleepless night of research, he has a surprise planned for you.

Ch 5 of the Neighbors Series | Masterlist | Ch. 4 | Ch. 6

Warnings: mild cursing, pure fluff, pet names, teasing/banter, excessive pining (it’s getting pretty bad), I think that’s it? It’s pretty tooth-rotting, let me know if I missed anything!

AN: Is that a change of scenery? And new characters? Whaaaaaat? 😂 This is a monster of a chapter and I’m afraid they might only get bigger 😬 I’m so excited to be introducing this little plotline for them, it’s so important for their story and I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you to my love @deceiverofgodss as always for helping me work through this, I think this is the fourth iteration this chapter has gone through? And the big dance move this chapter can be found here, from my favorite reference video 💖 Thanks for putting up with my nonsense, I hope you guys enjoy! 🥰

Playlists: Side A | Side B

For days at a time, all Bucky could think about was you. He wanted to have you in his arms constantly ever since he’d taught you how to dance, and he was running out of excuses to use when he wanted to cut you off mid-sentence and dance with you in the living room.

Currently, it was practice. Teaching you different moves and tricks, building your confidence. Hell, he was actively looking up references to tricks he knew once upon a time just so that he had more to teach you. To both his delight and his disappointment you were learning quickly, and he feared how long it would take before he ran out of excuses to dance with you.

“Where do people go dancing now?” He asked one day from his spot on your couch, your legs in his lap as you read – or tried to read – your perspective books. He hoped he’d managed to sound as casual and off-hand as he’d planned.

“Well, people usually go to clubs, but that’s a different kind of dancing. You don’t really have to know what you’re doing to have a good time,” you started with a shrug. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it was just…” He shrugged back, gesturing with his book. “They keep talking about it, I got curious.” While it wasn’t a lie, he elected to leave out the fact that he’d pretended to read this same section of his book for the past few days, just to give himself an excuse to bring it up. “Are there places to swing, or is it just whatever happens in clubs?”

“I mean, there are some places that pop up, I’ve seen videos of people dancing like that but it’s never clear where. Whether they only do it on certain nights or it just exists, I’ve never really looked into it.” You explained before giving him a knowing look. “You telling me you don’t like having to move my coffee table to dance?” He faltered for a second before he laughed at the playful jab.

“It’s part of the routine, what are you talking about?” He threw back, earning a light giggle from you. “No, I just… you wanted to dance, I didn’t know if there was a place to go do that. You know, the old-fashioned way.”

“Like you?” He rolled his eyes and turned back to his book, now finally being able to continue reading but unable to focus on a single word, having to read paragraphs multiple times before they finally stuck.

That same night as he lay awake, desperate to get his mind off of the recurring nightmare that had woken him up for the fourth time this week alone, he launched into action. The sitcom he’d put on for noise faded into the background as he sat perched on his couch with his phone in his hand, scouring the expanse of the internet for what he was looking for.

Dance groups, jazz nights at a lounge, clubs that might give him some sort of chance… but nothing gave him what he wanted. The groups had fees and rules, competitions and costumes, and made your living room far more desirable. Lounges didn’t usually warrant a dance floor, the focus was on the band and their performance. And more often than not, the homepage of each club’s website told him everything he needed to know; that it was practically the exact opposite of what he was looking for.

And then he saw it. He couldn’t remember what combination of words he’d tried this time, nor how long he’d been sitting there looking for it, but as the sky started to change color behind his blinds he’d found his perfect solution. It almost seemed too good to be true.

He’d caught you on your way out the door, a sorry excuse for a quick breakfast in your hand as you scurried out the door, taking the time to smile warmly at him on your way out.

“Where are you headed this morning?” you’d asked as you locked up.

“I’ve just got something to go take care of,” Bucky tried, wanting to tell you as little about today’s plans as possible. You shot him a look, brows furrowed and tight-lipped, and he could hear you telling him it wasn’t a real answer. But with a glance at your watch, you let him off with a roll of your eyes.

“Alright, keep your secrets for now. But I wanna hear about it when I get home later,” you demanded, pointing your keys at him. He simply tilted his head to the side, not promising any kind of answer before he turned on his heel and made his way down the stairs, taking no care to hide his chuckle at your huff of irritation.

After a morning of crossing one more name off of his list – in his own way – he gave his perfect solution a visit to figure out what was true. By the time he’d finished his early lunch and gotten his information out of the young waitress, he knew the diner was exactly what he was looking for.

But of course, he was going to have his fun with it. And by the time you were changed into sweatpants at the end of your day, helping him put together an easy dinner, you still had gotten no answer.

“You still haven’t told me about what you had to ‘take care of’ today,” you interrogated as you served yourself a portion of the casserole concoction the two of you had created, a new version of an old recipe he’d wanted to try. He only smiled mischievously at you as he dug in.

“This is good, you were right about the garlic,” he mused, deflecting the question.

“James,” you groaned pointedly, almost begging him not to leave you in suspense any longer.

“Okay, okay… there’s a place I want to take you if you’re not busy tomorrow,” he finally offered, opting not only to leave out the entire first errand but to hide the rest of it in plain sight.

“Oh really? Where?”

“I can’t tell you,” he smiled, watching in delight as you rolled your eyes at him. “But I will tell you to wear a dress.”

“... What kind of dress?”

“Just, something casual, comfortable… I- you’ll want to be wearing one, okay?”

"What is this, some kind of surprise date? What's going on?" you laughed, looking far more confused than you had earlier. He knew you were joking, but he faltered for a second before he played it off with a laugh, looking back down to his bowl. Bucky had to make more of a conscious effort than he thought in order to hide his reaction to the idea.

“No, just- trust me, it’ll be fun. I’ll come get you at 7.” He tried to finish with some sort of smooth cocky air he would when he asked girls out so many years ago, but based on the grin creeping up on your face, he probably hadn’t succeeded.

“Did you just drop the ‘I’ll pick you up at 7?’ Come on, you have to tell me something else about this mystery date, you can’t leave me hanging!”

“I can, and I will. Tell me about work.”

“Bucky-”

“Doll.” You stopped trying to fight back and looked at him, and he took his chance to lean in closer for emphasis. “Just trust me.” You kept looking at him for a few more moments, before shaking your head in resignation. He leaned back against the counter and listened to you talk about your day, absolutely giddy with excitement for what he had planned.

Wear a dress.

That’s it. That’s all he told you. Wear a casual, comfortable dress. That could mean anything. And even after digging through the contents of your closet for probably the fourth time in the last hour, you still had no clue what you were going to wear. Glancing at the time on your phone, you still had quite a few hours before seven, and it felt like far too long.

The whole ordeal was very out of character for Bucky. He was a homebody, reasonably so. He would accompany you to the grocery store or out to get food nearby, and you always enjoyed your trips to the library, trying to be quiet when you would make fun of book descriptions or continue to load interesting ones into his arms. He took long walks, went on vague errands, and spent time with Yori, but other than that? Bucky liked being with you in your apartment. Your Saturdays had come to be filled with dancing in the living room or cooking after he got home from his appointments with Dr. Raynor, and having to wait until seven to see him was making you go a little stir-crazy.

Noticing the time, you knew he would be free from Raynor’s hold, and sent him a text.

Do I have to wait until seven to see you? Or can we bend the mystery date rules? ;)

Already on my way back. I’ll be at yours in 15.

You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face at his quick response, setting to decorate your bed with different options to present him with. He’d fallen right into your trap; if he wouldn’t tell you anything about where you were going, he could at least do his part to assist you.

“Your instructions were not helpful, I need your opinion,” you stated as soon as you opened the door to him, his knock appearing at the exact time he said he would, almost down to the second.

“Well hello to you too,” he teased, amused as you grabbed his hand and dragged him through your apartment. “It’s just a dress, doll.”

“James.” He could hear your eye roll as you walked him into your bedroom, somewhere he’d only been on chance occasions. “You had a sister. You should know that ‘wear a dress’ could mean like eight different things. Comfortable and casual only limits that to about four.”

Bucky surveyed the dresses on your bed and seemed to understand what you meant, immediately going to reorganize the options you’d laid out for him. He had his brows furrowed as he focused, moving the maxi dress to the side with your classic little black dress, which you caught him eyeing but couldn’t determine why. He examined the last two for a little longer, holding the ends of the skirts between his thumbs and pointer fingers to fan them out.

“I- these two will work…” he started, seeming hesitant. “You have this one… can I?” he asked as he strode over to your closet like a man on a mission, stopping himself once he’d realized what he was doing.

“Go ahead, I’ve got nothing to hide. Not in my closet at least,” you assured with a tease, and he cocked a brow at you playfully, matching your smile as he opened it. “What are you looking for? It might be in the hamper.”

“No no, you haven’t worn it in a while,” he explained, beginning to rummage through your hangers once he’d navigated himself. “You have this little blue dress, I think it’s got a flower pattern on it? You wore it to… here.” You couldn’t help but smile a little bashfully at the dress he’d pulled out, surprised he’d known it so well. He laid the lightweight wrap dress out on the bed next to the other two, fiddling with the skirt of this one as well.

“So I should wear that one?” You asked as he continued to examine it, and he gave you a boyish grin when he looked back up at you.

“Or, you know… something like that one,” he shrugged. As he kept his hand on the skirt you tilted your head as if to ask if everything was okay. “This front piece just opens right up… you wear anything underneath it?”

“Yeah, I’ve got little shorts to wear in case there’s a particularly strong breeze.”

“Good. You should wear those. With this dress or any of them, wear something underneath.” You could only laugh a little nervously at his instructions, even more confused at his intentions now than ever.

“The more I find out about this, the more worried I get,” you managed, trying to focus on the dresses in front of you while you had a captive audience. “What are you wearing, maybe I’ll match your colors. You know, old-fashioned,” you poked, and you swore you watched his cheeks turn a slightly more pink shade as he smiled down at his shoes. His expression quickly changed though, his brows furrowed as he looked off to the side, thinking.

“That… that’s actually a good question,” he admitted, running a hand over his jaw. You did your best not to imagine what it would feel like to do it yourself.

“James, don’t tell me you forgot your own outfit,” you asked, catching yourself with an amused tone. He merely tried to hide a smile from you, knowing he’d already given you the answer. “Do you need to go take care of that? You still have time to go get something other than henleys and tight t-shirts if you need to,” you snarked.

“I might have to,” he laughed airily as he moved past you, leaving you laughing at him in your room on your own. After a beat, you heard the door open, and his exclamation followed only a second later. “Come lock your door!” You rolled your eyes with an exaggerated groan.

“At this rate, I’m just going to give you a key so you can lock it yourself,” you muttered, catching him give you a grumpy look from his doorway across the hall. His whole demeanor softened at your threat, shoulders dropping slightly as his blue eyes bore into yours.

“You’d trust me with that?” he asked gently, and it made your heart break.

“Of course, Buck.” You couldn’t quite place the look he was giving you. It seemed a little all over the place, like he was trying to keep his face as neutral as he could while emotions were swimming in his eyes. You could have stood there and watched him for longer than you’d like to admit, but you knew better, for your own sake. Instead, you tried to ground yourself a little, nodding at his apartment. “Go get yourself ready,” you managed to laugh.

“Right,” he said with a sharp inhale, moving to walk into his own apartment, giving you one final look. “I- I’ll see you at seven.” You nodded, assuring him with a smile as you closed your door and locked it behind you. And after taking a moment to compose yourself, you went back into your apartment to figure out what the hell you were going to do with yourself for the next few hours.

“How did you find this place?” You asked after a few more blocks than your usual endeavors took you, your arms linked in his as he tucked them into his pockets, his left arm mostly hidden by the new button-up. It had a subtle pattern that ended up matching the blue dress he’d picked out for you, and he wore it well. The top couple buttons were undone and you could see the chain of his tags peeking through. He’d originally had the sleeves rolled up as well, and while it was quite a look, he remembered just how out of place the vibranium was and opted to leave them down. “Did you take a walk and get lost or something?”

“I googled it,” he admitted sheepishly, unable to contain his excitement. Frankly, even with all the feelings you ignored being pushed aside, it was cute seeing him get so excited about something.

“Look at you, you’re not such a fossil after all,” you teased, and he gave you a look in feigned offense.

“Coming from the one who asks me to look things up all the time.”

“It was good practice, and it came in handy. You’re welcome.” He merely shook his head in amusement.

“Alright teach, we’re here,” he smiled as he nodded towards the building beside you. You were met with a colorful, old-school diner, the Neon lights above the door reading Morelli’s Diner. Bucky went to place his hand on the small of your back to walk you inside, your arm returning to your side as you took it all in.

Complete with black and white checkered floors, the rustic brick walls are a nice contrast to the brightly lit interior of the diner, red booths lining the walls to match the red barstools set up along the counters of the kitchen that seemed to be set up in the middle of the building. You noticed a jukebox in the back, black, white, and red to match the rest of the theme, feeling a little out of place in the less populated area in the back. All in all, it was very lively and cozy, the light chatter of the other patrons and sounds of the kitchen perfectly balanced with music that you couldn’t quite place playing through the restaurant.

You had to order food at the counter before you could escape to a booth, despite the handful of waitresses still serving tables. Bucky said you had made it in right at the cut-off, but for what you weren’t exactly sure. Your confusion was quickly replaced with delight when he had brought over your goods after having told you to go grab a booth near the back, his hands full with baskets of perfectly golden fries and sodas in classic glass bottles.

“What do you think?” he asked skeptically after you’d had a chance to take it all in. The hopeful and slightly concerned look on his face brought a soft smile to your cheeks.

“I love it! It’s cute.” He seemed to relax a little at your assurance, but there was still something that seemed to be keeping him tense, glancing at his watch and looking around every few moments. “I have a feeling you’re waiting for something else?”

Just as he opened his mouth to reply, the music playing overhead faded out and the lights dimmed slightly through the restaurant. There was clapping tall around you as people started getting up out of their seats to head to the back, the jukebox lighting up and a lively song playing through the speakers, louder than the music before it. You looked to Bucky to find him smiling brightly at you.

“What’s going on?” you asked quietly.

“You said places like this pop up, but hadn’t found one … they open up the dance floor here every night at eight. Saturdays are swing nights,” he explained, and you couldn’t help but keep looking at him in disbelief.

Bucky was a homebody, he didn’t go out just for the sake of going out. He just hadn’t gotten there yet, he preferred being at home or at your place, and you couldn’t blame him. Yet here he was, breaking out of his comfort zone just to take you out dancing. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for you by far, and his excitement through the day became so much more endearing. He made you feel heard, made you feel seen, like he understood you right to your core. And, against your better judgment, it made your heart flutter.

He glanced over at the dance floor with a grin, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he slipped out of the booth, moving to take your hands in his. “C’mon.”

“What about-”

“Leave it, we’ll be back. Come dance with me,” he pleaded as he led you gently up out of your seat. With the way he was looking at you, you couldn’t have told him no even if you wanted to.

Bucky felt his whole body light up as your face softened, smiling so brightly up at him as you let him lead you out to the dance floor, pulling you in close as he swung you into the crowd. Admittedly, it took him a second to get adjusted. He hadn’t danced in a crowd like this since the night before he shipped out, his practice in the living room with you being all he had in the last couple of decades.

As the song continued he found his rhythm and trusted his muscle memory, swinging you around as if he’d never stopped. You, however, were still tense as you struggled to find your footing. He could tell you didn’t trust yourself, wary of where you put your body in the foreign environment. That just wouldn’t do.

“You alright?” he asked as he pulled you closer to him, the moderate beat of the song allowing you to slow down for a moment. You put on a bigger smile as you nodded your head, trying to reassure him. He simply raised his eyebrows at you to tell you he wasn’t buying it. You dropped your shoulders in resignation before you answered.

“It’s really great, it’s fun, it’s just… different. I only know how to avoid the coffee table, not other people, I feel like I’m gonna hit someone,” you worried, looking around at the couples surrounding you. He couldn’t help but make a sound of amusement as he brought the hand in his to rest on his shoulder, hooking a vibranium finger under your chin to make you look at him.

“I’m not going to let you hit anyone,” he said gently. You made to argue, but he cut you off before anything could come out. “Hey. Just ignore them. It’s just you and me, just like at home, okay?”

If it wasn’t for the combination of sounds around you, he was sure you’d be able to hear his heart pounding against his chest. Home. He’d called your apartment home. Bucky had made such a conscious effort to differentiate your place and his, because after two months of practically living in your living room, he’d caught himself blurring the line between the two. But you hadn’t even batted an eye. In fact, his words seemed to help you relax a little more in his arms.

“I’ll always catch you, right?” You giggled warmly at his sentiment, a phrase the two of you had started using frequently with each other. Satisfied with your reaction, he took your hand back in his and started to swing you through the crowd, taking notice of how you kept meeting his gaze to ground yourself.

After a couple more songs, it was like the two of you had been doing it for years. You had completely let go, trusting him and responding to his cues without any reservations. You were singing along to songs you had played at home, and even ones that he’d never heard before, but he couldn’t help but happily watch you anyway. Bucky was sure this was his best idea yet. You looked like you belonged on the dance floor, and he was thriving off of the raw joy that you emanated; you were positively radiant.

“Are you holding out old man?” you shot at him, bringing him out of a daze. When he didn’t give you an answer, you gave him a mischievous grin. “You haven’t pulled out any of those tricks we’ve been working on. Let’s show them how it’s done.”

Oh, you were made for him.

He couldn’t help but match your expression as he grabbed you, swinging you out to his side and catching the pure joy illuminating your features. Reeling you back in, Bucky slipped one arm securely around your waist as he reached under the leg closest to him to hold you by your thigh. Perfectly fluent in his silent conversation, you grabbed his shoulder and kept the leg in his hands pointed straight out, allowing him to lift your body up towards his head. Resting your hips on his shoulder, his hold loosened for half a second so you could rotate as you released his shoulder. He leaned forward, and you curled one of your legs ever so slightly to follow the momentum that brought you around him, clinging onto his left shoulder on your way down, standing perfectly poised as Bucky unwrapped himself from around you so he could take your hand and spin you right back into his chest.

He was vaguely aware of the whoops and hollers around the two of you, but all he could see was you. Everything in his body was screaming at him to kiss you right then and there, in the middle of a room full of strangers, and it took all of his concentration not to.

This wasn’t a date. This wasn’t the time. You’re just dancing. It could change everything, it would change everything, and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

“How was that, doll?” He asked, a little out of breath as he tried to compose himself. Your exuberant giggle was all he needed to hear.

“That was perfect,” you sighed. His cheeks were starting to hurt as the smile on his face grew impossibly larger, still holding onto you like the music hadn’t changed. You unwrapped yourself from his hold to take his hand in yours. “I need a drink before we do that again.”

He was in a different world as you dragged him back to the table, body blindly following you as only one thought occupied his brain. You were perfect.

That following Monday you found yourself working right through your lunch, a premade salad next to the keyboard as you tried to eliminate as much paperwork as you possibly could to save yourself from having to do it later. It was monotonous and took little focus to complete, so you welcomed the company of your confidants in the small space beside the desk, the handful of you hiding from the rest of your coworkers.

“It was wild! I didn’t have high hopes, but that place was fantastic, I really wish you guys could’ve come!” One of the girls explained, catching you up on the weekend adventure two of them had. Some new club that had opened up or something, you hadn’t cared much when they’d proposed the idea Saturday morning.

“Yeah? And how was the hangover?” You shot with a grin.

“Horrible, but so worth it.” The other replied, a round of laughter following. She waited for it to subside before continuing. “You said you had plans, fill us in! Are we talking about binging Netflix plans, or actually leaving the house plans?”

“I’m putting in my guess now, she always does stuff with James over the weekend,” River piped up before you could respond. “Did you have a Lord of the Rings marathon? That’s the movie you said he liked, right?” You rolled your eyes with a smile as she sipped on what had to be coffee number three.

River was your favorite among your little group, the two of you just clicked. When you had first met, she was soft-spoken and reserved, but after enough side-eye glances during meetings that could definitely have been an email, you made a point to get to know each other better. And what you found was a sweetly sarcastic, caffeine-addicted powerhouse who never failed to brighten your day. She teased in good humor, knowing just how far was too far, and when was just right. Like right now.

“We actually left the house, thank you very much,” you retorted, looking at her pointedly. But as you remembered your evening with Bucky, you couldn’t help the bashful smile that forced its way onto your cheeks. “It was actually really sweet, he took me to this retro diner he found where they open the back half for dancing, jukebox and all.”

“Hold on, do you mean Morelli’s? By the barbershop and the tattoo place?” River asked.

“Yeah, with the kitchen in the middle?”

“No way, I go there for lunch all the time! I had no idea they did that!” She explained excitedly. While an unexpected coincidence, you couldn’t say you were surprised. She’d clued you in to her taste for retro music and clothing, the two of you even had a couple of overlaps in your vinyl collections. “Are you guys thinking of going next week?"

As you went to answer, your words got caught in your throat. You hadn’t thought that far… of course you wanted to go again, dancing with Bucky in such a lively environment had made you feel electric. You didn’t have to worry about flipping the record every so often, and the unpredictable shuffle of songs made each dance a brand new experience. But the diner was also crowded, noisy, and wasn’t the kind of place Bucky frequented often since you’d known him. Would he be comfortable going back each week, if at all?

“You know, I’m not sure… ” you reasoned after a moment, trying to downplay how much this would eat at you through the day.

“Well if you do, let me know! I’d love to join you guys sometime, finally meet James instead of just hearing you gush about him.” A chorus of giggles followed, and you laughed it off as you turned back to the file open on the desktop screen, trying to ease your worries as the conversation continued.

But of course, you wouldn't be so lucky. It was such a small thing, whether he wanted to go back or not. It’s not like you would stop dancing altogether, right? But no matter what logical reasoning you came up with, your worries couldn’t be comforted. He’d gone to all the effort of finding the place, going on the right night… but had it been a one-off thing, just to put a check in the box? You’d gotten a taste of what the James Barnes was like on the dance floor, and you wanted more. If it hadn’t been clear to you why he was so popular with women of his time, it was now.

It occupied your thoughts up until you were seated on your couch later that evening, watching as the super-soldier turned away from the record player and began eyeing the coffee table, the telltale sign that he wanted to do something about it. Your stomach was twisting itself in a knot at the thought of opening your mouth to say anything, and he caught you looking as you worked yourself up.

“You alright, peach?” he asked softly, striding over to sit on the opposite corner of the couch. “You’ve been kinda quiet, did something happen at work?”

“Yeah, I’m alright,” you sighed, the corners of your lips tilting up at his gesture. But you could tell he was waiting for you to elaborate, ever observant, like he was tuned in to your attitudes and emotions. “I was talking with the girls at work today, sharing stories about the weekend. Turns out my friend River goes to Morelli’s too, she had no idea about the dancing.” As you watched his sheepish reaction, the knot in your stomach reminded you of its presence.

“What did you think of it? Really?” he asked earnestly, his eyebrows raised and his eyes brimming with hidden questions. He looked concerned, and you felt your heart pang with sympathy.

“I loved it, Bucky,” you answered softly before your brain could tell you otherwise. When you were rewarded with the relief that washed across his face, the knot untied itself and you couldn’t help but let out a breath as the tension left your body. “You know I like dancing with you, doesn’t matter where. But the diner was fun.” He let out a chuckle under his breath, and you could feel it heating your cheeks as you sat together in silence for a few moments.

“Their website did say every Saturday… would you want to go again?” he asked hesitantly. You couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped you, and you did your best to recover quick enough to remedy the look of confusion on his face.

“I have been trying to figure out how to ask you that all night,” you admitted, and your chest filled with warmth as he began laughing with you, a sound coming from deep within him. When the two of you finally calmed down he turned to look at you, his arm draped around the couch behind you. You had to look away after a while, your cheeks threatening to reveal you.

“If you want, we could go every week?” you asked hesitantly. “Go dancing instead of trying to figure out what movie to watch every Saturday.” When you felt brave enough to meet his gaze again, you were met with a cocky smirk on his face.

"I think if we're gonna be going every week we need to keep practicing,” he teased, quickly moving from the couch to approach the record player again, moving the needle to find a specific song. “Gotta impress your friends.”

“I think they’d be impressed by the easy stuff, they don’t dance like we do. If you can call what they do dancing,” you reasoned, and he chuckled as he turned back to you, the notes from the last song on the record filtered through the speakers. You made a scrunchy face at him when you recognized it. "Bucky, this is a slow song.”

“And? C’mere,” he defended, taking your hand and pulling you into his arms in one swift motion, his other hand falling to the small of your back as you leaned against him. You were practically molded to him, your head rested against his shoulder as he guided you across the floor of your living room, closing your eyes and enjoying the sheer atmosphere that was Bucky Barnes.

“You know what else we’ll have to do for dancing each week?” You piped up, feeling his lips press softly against your forehead as he hummed in acknowledgment. “You need more shirts.” You felt his amusement rumble through his chest, and you leaned in closer to him as you felt him trace patterns onto your back.

“You mean I can’t wear the same one every week?”

“No. Some variety would do you good, James,” you teased. “I’ll have to do the same, I only have three Barnes-approved dresses to wear.”

“You are like my sister! I fell right into your trap, she used to trick me into shopping all the time. I can’t believe you would do this to me,” he explained, shaking his head in mock disapproval as you shook with laughter. “Is that what we’re doing tomorrow?”

“If you want to wait until after I’m out of work,” you begrudgingly reminded, and you could feel the shift. You felt him start to pull away, and you couldn’t deny your disappointment.

“Shit, I always forget,” he cursed under his breath, pulling back to be able to look at you. “It’s getting late, I’ll leave you be. You’ve got an early morning.” He’d pulled away from you before you could argue, never wanting to be a burden despite being the farthest thing from it.

Watching him make his way to the door you knew what was going to come out of his mouth any moment, it did every time. Slipping off to the side, you went to retrieve something from your purse before he could.

“You gonna come lock-” Bucky started, cutting himself off when he turned on his heel in the doorway to find you standing behind him with an outstretched hand, a key resting in your palm. He looked at the key in your hand for a few moments, as if wondering if he was actually seeing it before his piercing blue eyes found yours again.

“So you can lock the door on your way out,” you offered, tucking your lip between your teeth as you waited for him to respond. His warm fingers brushed against your skin as he gingerly took the key to your apartment in his hand, and you only got another glance before he was scooping you up into a tight hug, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.

“You brought it up three days ago, when did you even get this?” He asked softly, right beside your ear.

“I picked it up on my way home.” Your smile was still evident in your voice as he leaned back to look at you, returning to stand flat on your feet. There was an unmistakable sparkle in his eyes as he tried to find the right words to say.

“I… I appreciate it,” he said softly, just loud enough for you to hear. He cleared his throat to try and continue. “I- I know it’s just a key, but…”

“I know, Buck,” you finished for him, understanding the point he was trying to make, and trying to give him a chance to take it all in. A chance to understand in return how far he’d come, and how much trust you had in him despite his history.

Wanting to do anything but just sit there and watch, you stood back up on your toes and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, hoping to help solidify the message you were trying to get through his stubborn defenses. You were pleasantly surprised to lean back and find his cheeks had turned a new shade of pink, and he was smiling bashfully as he turned his gaze away from you. It took more of an effort than you would have thought to keep your giddy amusement to a soft chuckle at his actions. He cleared his throat again and made to release his hold on you.

“Alright, I should get going,” he muttered as he made his way to your door, standing in the frame once again like he wasn’t quite done. “Thank you.” The warm feeling in your chest returned when you heard the raw emotion in his voice, and you simply nodded in response in fear of letting your emotions get the better of you. “Goodnight doll.”

“Goodnight James,” you smiled softly, before turning to turn off the speakers of your player and close up for the night, leaving Bucky in the doorway to use the key you had just given him.

He couldn’t help but watch you for a moment, acting as if he was already gone, and he couldn’t help but admire the way you moved through the space. His mind was still reeling as he tried to understand how someone so lovely, so wonderful had found a way into his life. He wondered what made you want to let him in the way you did, what had made you trust him so wholeheartedly as to hand him a key and turn your back, knowing that he’d take care of you. That he’d catch you.

As he turned the key in the lock, satisfied with the click as he stepped away from your door, he couldn’t help the feeling that was growing inside of him. It felt like his chest was going to explode in the most wonderful way, radiating through to his toes as it reached every inch of his body. It was a foreign feeling he didn’t think he’d ever get to experience again …

There was no doubt in his mind. Bucky was head over heels for you.

Thanks for reading!! If you’d like to be notified when I post a new fic, be sure to follow @writerlyhabits-library + turn on post notifications! 💛

Masterlist | Ch. 4 | Ch. 6

#bucky barnes x reader #neighbor!bucky #neighbors series #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #neighbors #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #james barnes x reader #james barnes #kam writes #my writing #morellis diner

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amistytown · 3 years

Text

The Brothers Comfort MC During a Panic Attack

This is my first attempt at writing down my headcanons for the brothers, so I apologize if anything is out of character. I meant it to be short and sweet, but it grew out of my control after a while. I’m a perfectionist and wanted to rewrite everything. I made minor edits and am posting it anyway or it’ll sit in my drafts forever; I admit I put the most effort into Lucifer’s, forgive me. Also sorry for the repetitiveness and any typos you may find. I decided to write how the brothers would comfort MC during a panic attack, especially as someone who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks themselves. Honestly, I wrote this as a way to comfort myself since I’ve been dealing with terrible anxiety lately. Of course, everyone experiences anxiety differently, so I can only speak from my own experiences. I didn’t go into detail when it comes to the symptoms themselves because it’s from the point of view of the brothers and only so many are visible to the eye. Trigger warning for depictions of anxiety and panic attacks. Thank you for reading!

LUCIFER

Lucifer is troubled. Following lunch, you disappeared, currently absent from class. This is unlike you, his worry intensifying every minute you’re out of his sight. Yet he maintains his composure, resigning himself to scouring the academy grounds. Time passes at a torturous pace, his thoughts beginning to take a turn for the worst. He contemplates whether to involve his brothers and Lord Diavolo himself at this rate, however the sound of his D.D.D diverts his attention. A wave of relief washes over him at the sight of your name lighting up his screen, chased by frustration at you, your silence, and himself for losing track of you so easily; he couldn’t bear living if anything happened to you under his watch. He expects this behavior from his brothers, not you. Though his heart sinks, the Avatar of Pride uncharacteristically overcome with guilt while he reads your message. Of course, you are not his brothers. He should not have doubted you.

Your texts are apprehensive, a weighty pause between them as you hesitate to lay bare the darkest depths of your soul. He approaches you cautiously, to avoid upsetting you further. Your words alone convey the sheer panic taking possession of you, the last of your strength used to press send. Outside he discovers you, huddled miserably in an isolated corner of the building, swathed in shadow. The desire to shelter you from the world burns within him, but your eyes widen fearfully in his presence, wounding his pride. Immediately, you apologize. Sorry you’re missing class, that you left without telling anyone, and upset him—especially when you’re aware of his busy schedule. You’re sorry for not having the courage to pull yourself together, succumbing to your anxiety, your shame palpable. The hand clutching your D.D.D is trembling, your chest heaving as you struggle to breathe. He aches for you, each tear shed hurting more than the last, your pain managing to touch the very core of his being and set him alight.

If anyone is sorry, it’s him, pride be damned. Kneeling in front of you, he assures you an apology isn’t necessary—your wellbeing of great importance to him. He wants you to rely on him, grateful you confided in him despite your doubts. Hopefully, he can eventually put your mind at ease. His voice low, soothing, he continues to console you, making sure you’re aware he’s not upset, and your feelings are valid. Although he’s not familiar with the inner workings of anxiety itself, he’s willing to listen, learning how to support you to the best of his ability—starting today, providing you’re comfortable accepting his offer. Initially, he prioritized your safety for the sake of the exchange program and Lord Diavolo’s wish to unite the three realms, now it’s merely out of adoration for you, his beloved. Once you’re ready, he’ll let you know you’re not alone. He’s never too busy on your behalf.

Offering you his hand, a smile graces his features as you accept. Slowly, he helps you to your feet, steadying you against him. He notes the way you relax at his touch, shoulders sagging and head coming to rest on his chest. Only you exist in this moment, his gaze not leaving you, not even for a second. Standing in silence until your breathing settles and you regain your balance, he sees you through the height of your attack before escorting you back to the House of Lamentation. He’ll personally excuse you from the remainder of your classes, understanding you need a quiet place to recover. Classical music plays softly in the background of his room, and he’s content to have you in his embrace, drawing you onto his lap after you finish the tea he brewed to calm your nerves. Lucifer pays you special attention, massaging your tired body and kissing you tenderly, his breath fanning across your lips as he reminds you how special you truly are—brave, compassionate, and incredibly loved.

MAMMON

Mammon mourns his loss, wondering how he let them gain the upper hand; admittedly, a foolish mistake on his part. He dreads breaking the news to Lucifer, and the resentment that shows on his brothers’ faces once he confesses does little to ease his mind. Still, he worries about your reaction most of all, knowing his stupidity has put you in a precarious position. In that moment he believes their words—only a greedy scumbag like himself dares to place his human’s happiness on the line. Although certain of his win at the time, he should consider how his actions affect you more often; otherwise, how can he claim he’s the Great Mammon? His confidence is his downfall in the end. Now you’ll suffer along with him. Yet you feign optimism, attempting to soothe everything over despite your innocence. His guilt only grows, a heavy weight on his shoulders. One he deserves.

Three days of waiting on and performing for large crowds at The Fall proves hectic for everyone. He can tell you’re struggling beneath the façade of a composed and hospitable server, going above and beyond to ensure the patrons leave satisfied. Furthermore, you lend him and his brothers a hand, coming to their rescue; it should be him making it as easy on you as possible. His concern for you runs deep, no matter how hard he tries to maintain his usual air of indifference, but you have the nerve to reassure him—it’s meant to be the opposite, dammit. Each night he goes out of his way to check on you, frustrated that you continue to dance around the subject. He can see the exhaustion on your face, hear the slight tremor in your voice, the toll his stupid decision is taking on you, and it stung. You comfort him, even when he’s undeserving, so why won’t you allow him to hold you and kiss the pain away? Not that he’s asked. You should realize by now you can rely on him, right?

Watching you suffer in silence tortures him. He can’t deny it regardless of his best effort to make light of the situation. You barely eat or spend time outside your room, saying you’re tired, which isn’t a lie—working is exhausting, no doubt about it—but he understands you well enough to notice the subtle signs of your anxiety, your smile unable to trick him into believing otherwise. Perhaps you find him as insufferable as his brothers do, or worse, and don’t want to see his face after what he’s done. That doesn’t stop him from showing up at your door, hoping he can offer some form of comfort. However, you keep up appearances, supporting the seven of them during the longest weekend of their lives. You work hard too, his chest swelling with pride as he watches you care for his brothers and customers alike. How can you like an idiot like him? You’re selfless and loving, looking past his flaws to see what lay beneath his sin. His human. His angel. He wants—no needs—you to be okay.

The last day comes and goes in a blur. Finally, he can toss these ridiculous clothes and rabbit ears in the trash and never perform that dance again. Better yet, you’re free of his burden, though the guilt remains. He can’t relax until he’s positive you’re okay, knowing he’s genuinely sorry. Standing outside your room, he tries to muster up the courage to open his heart to you—apologies not his strong suit—when he hears you crying. They’re small, muffled sobs that manage to shake him to his core, blood running cold. Yeah, he should knock, but he can’t control himself, throwing the door open without hesitation and rushing to your side. The sight of your tears is almost too much to bear, and he draws you into his embrace, face heating up at his own moment of vulnerability, but this is about you, not him. He can be strong for you too, telling you everything’s going to be okay, that the Great Mammon is here to help.

After his stupidity, you tell him you were afraid to bother him? He can hardly suppress the shock at your confession, the sadness in your eyes breaking his heart. You wanted to make sure it went smoothly for his sake? You suffer through Hell alone because you chose to put his feelings first? Crazy. Though he thanks you, not completely ashamed to admit he’s touched. However, he tells you that you don’t have to put aside your feelings for his benefit; he prefers to be by your side then know you’re having a rough time on your own. He is your first. Taking the initiative, he asks what he can do to make it up to you, no matter how big or small the request is because he’ll do it in a heartbeat. You opt to stay in his arms, burying your face into his chest, and he wipes away your remaining tears, being as gentle as he possibly can. He can feel how tense your body is, your skin unnaturally warm, and it takes a while until you stop shaking. It’s moments like these he’ll tell you how much you mean to him—that he loves you, okay—and he wants you to come to him for everything. He’ll hold you, taking your hand in his, and kiss you with all the adoration in the world because you’re incredibly important to him. Mammon can attest to that.

LEVIATHAN

Leviathan invites you to his room to play video games, a daily routine the two of you have comfortably fallen into. He loves gaming with you, though on occasion you opt to watch instead, thoroughly enthralled by whatever is on the screen. Miraculously, you enjoy listening to him ramble—whether it’s about the game he’s playing, anime he’s watching, or TSL among other things—genuinely showing interest in his passions; he’s incapable of expressing how truly grateful he is for your company. His heart nearly bursts whenever you compliment him on his gaming prowess, encourage him during a particularly intense battle, or merely tell him how you enjoy hanging out. How in the Devildom did a gross otaku like him get so incredibly lucky? He can hardly believe you love him of all demons. The thought alone sounds crazy lmao.

Unable to contain his excitement, he awaits your arrival that night, ensuring everything is perfect when he hears a knock on the door. However, his smile fades the moment he lays eyes on you, mind beginning to race as he wonders why you look miserable, your gaze trained on your hands. Before he can speak, you apologize, dissolving into tears while you return the game he let you borrow. You’re stuttering, completely winded, and he can barely hear you confess to accidentally corrupting his data in your panic. In fact, he loses track of the number of times you choke out a sorry. He treasures his games, his collection extensive, but he cherishes you most of all. The loss is a minor annoyance, nothing that lessens the feelings he harbors for you. Although difficult, he overcomes his insecurities to show you it’s okay—you’re loved.

Not only are you sad, but you’re also terrified, a part of him wanting to destroy the game itself if it means you never have to experience the pain that torments you now. Regarding you carefully, afraid to make matters worse, he reassures you that he’s not upset—far from it, honestly—and that he cares about you more than any game. No stranger to your panic attacks, he reaches out to take your hand in his, hoping you find comfort in what he has to offer. And when you finally glance up, hope shining in your tear-filled eyes, he can’t help but wrap you in his arms. A warmth spreads across his face, heart pounding in his ears, but he knows you need him, allowing his body to relax around yours.

Holding you against him, he tells you everything’s all right, stuttering out how he loves you and, most importantly, wants to you to feel better. Your arms circle around his waist, causing his heart to jump into his throat, but he only pulls you closer. You’re his Henry, and what friend is he if you can’t rely on him? Leviathan is understanding, wanting you to come to him for support at your most vulnerable. Now he puts his knowledge to the test, easing you into his room with continuous words of affirmation. You always know how to console him at his lowest, and he hopes he can return the favor. If anyone deserves to feel loved it’s you, who brought joy into his otherwise bleak world, and he’ll sit with you every day and night if you need him to.

SATAN

Satan knows he shouldn’t be awake, though he finds it difficult to satiate his curiosity as he peruses the books lining his shelves. He barely registers the sound of his D.D.D, reluctant to put the book aside to see who’s messaging him at this ungodly hour; Asmodeus most likely. His tune changes after he sees your name lighting up his screen, his annoyance replaced with worry. He knows you struggle, especially at night, but he can tell you’re hesitant to reach out. Nevertheless, you gradually begin to confide in him, his patience limitless if you’re concerned, and he feels a sense of relief that you choose to trust him at your most vulnerable instead of suffering on your own. Pouring over every book he can locate on anxiety, he studies it religiously, engraining each page into his memory. Not by giving unsolicited advice—he doesn’t want to make that mistake twice—but by comforting you the best he can, even if it simply means to stay by your side, waiting for the panic to pass.

A second later, he appears at your door, gaze softening as your eyes meet. In the darkness of your room, he can tell how exhausted you are. You apologize for bothering him, particularly this late, but he dismisses you with a shake of his head and a reassuring smile, sitting beside you on the bed. It saddens him that you feel the need to, but he’s familiar enough with anxiety by now that he understands how much of a manipulative monster it truly is; if only he can destroy it with his own two hands, strangling the life out of it so it no longer taints that innocent soul of yours. To watch you struggle fills him with a rage that he forces deep within himself, fully aware anger isn’t the answer no matter how great his desire to protect you is. So, he cups your face in his hands, your skin warm beneath his fingers as he strokes your flushed cheeks and presses your foreheads together.

Focus on him, he tells you, the steady rhythm of his breathing, and his voice while he whispers words of love and encouragement. He never tires of letting you know how beautiful and strong you are, that he’s always here for you and loves you—all of you. You unravel in his arms, opening your heart up to him, and he listens intently, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips the moment you look uncertain. You’re not a burden he promises, hoping one day you’ll believe it yourself, but he’ll remind you every chance he gets; forever if he must. It’s worth it in the end, when you relax against him and smile, kissing him in return. Slowly, the anxiety leaves your body, Satan thankful that the waves of panic have receded enough to let you rest your weary mind. He remains next to you, pulling you down to lay your head on his chest and closing your hand in his, entwining your fingers. He’s content here with you, watching you fall asleep and chasing away the nightmares.

ASMODEUS

Asmodeus loves shopping, but he loves shopping with you most of all. The day is bright with you by his side, and he can’t help but buy you clothes and matching accessories to bring out your inherent charm. Your potential is endless, and he gushes over how gorgeous you are, unable to contain his excitement when your cheeks turn a beautiful shade of pink in return. He can hardly control himself around you, gaze fixated on your every movement and heart racing each time you flash him one of the sweetest smiles he’s ever seen; your very soul seeming to shine through and blind him. Nothing prepares him for the love he feels for you, but he considers it a welcome surprise, his desire to grow closer to you intensifying day after day. You captivate him, the Avatar of Lust of all demons. What an exciting turn of events!

Of course, he attracts attention wherever he goes, posing for pictures with adoring fans and basking in the compliments constantly thrown his way; nothing new, but he enjoys it, nonetheless. Who can resist the allure of his very presence? However, anger wells within him at the sight of you being shoved to the side, falling to the ground and lost to the crowd that has gathered. Their words of flattery fall on deaf ears as he rushes to you, throwing a heated glance at the lowly demon who dares to touch his darling human. He desires nothing more than to punish them for such an injustice, but the fear in your eyes tells him otherwise. By the time he scoops you up into his arms you’re trembling from head to toe, and he can feel your heart pounding against him. A part of him places the blame on himself, an unfamiliar feeling, but he chooses to ignore it for now, focusing on getting you home in your worsening state.

In the peace and quiet of his room, he sits you on the bed, wrapping you in his arms as he affectionately runs his fingers through your hair. He can tell you’re upset—in an absolute state of panic by the looks of it—and all he can do is hold you through it, quietly asking what you need and willing to answer your every beck and call if it means that adorable smile graces your features once more. For a moment he considers seeking out Lucifer, worried something has gone terribly wrong, but thankfully you find your voice, mumbling into his chest about anxiety and panic attacks, that you’ll be fine—eventually—and are sorry for ruining your date. He doesn’t understand completely, though he knows you need him, promising to stay by your side for as long as you want. Kissing your cheek, he assures you there’s no need to apologize to him, your safety more important than anything else; the demon who laid his hands on you won’t go without punishment either.

Admitting a bath helps calm you down, he prepares one for you, steam rising from the surface and the heady scent of roses filling the air. Together you slip into the water, enveloped by its warmth, and he hums in contentment as you lean into him, his arms coming to rest around your waist. He watches you carefully, making sure you’re able to relax and preparing himself in case you call on him; he’ll do anything for you if it brings you the happiness you deserve. Your eyes flutter close, Asmodeus showering you with delicate kisses, comforted by the fact your breathing has levelled out and you appear a lot calmer than before. The day didn’t go as planned, and he hopes to make it up to you, vowing that no one else will hurt you on his watch. He loves himself. He loves his brothers. But loves you most of all.

BEELZEBUB

Beelzebub notices you haven’t touched your dinner and is beyond happy the moment you offer your plate to him. Yet he can’t bring himself to enjoy the food in front of him while you excuse yourself from the table, eyes downcast and voice quiet, the usual smile gone from your face and leaving behind an emptiness that rivals his own hunger. His mouth waters at the thought of seconds, but his concern for you grows, and he decides to follow you without question, disregarding the ravenous growl of his stomach. He catches you in the hallway, calling out your name. You turn to him, his brow furrowing in unease at the sight of your tears and the slight tremble of your lip. It hurts him to see you in obvious distress, and he earnestly offers his support.

The only sound is that of your sobbing. He desperately wishes to hold you tightly and rid you of your pain. However, he falters, studying you. Your gaze is trained on the floor, shoulders stiff with tension, and the color drains from your cheeks. When you speak, he’s surprised by how helpless you sound and the fact you’re trying to reassure him, putting his needs above your own although you’re struggling to hold yourself together. Fear flickers across your features at the echo of the brothers’ voices travelling up the stairs, and he mumbles out an apology as he carefully lifts you into his arms, cradling you to his chest.

Before the others can round the corner, he hurries down the hall and slips into your room, determined to protect his vulnerable human. He notices you relax against him, your fingers curling into his shirt, and he can’t help but want to keep you close, relieved after you lean in closer to wrap your arms around his neck. Stroking your hair, he allows you to cry, his patience and love for you endless. Eventually, you mutter an embarrassed sorry, thanking him profusely, but he’s merely relieved you’re beginning to feel a bit better, reassuring you that you can always depend on him.

Listening to you intently, he never breaks eye contact. You open up to him about your anxiety, his stomach twisting as you describe what you call a panic attack and how it wrecks you both mentally and physically. Beelzebub knows he has a lot to learn, but he expresses interest in understanding anxiety and, most importantly, how he can help you, so you don’t suffer alone. For the rest of the night, he keeps you company and eases you through the remainder of your attack, giving you plenty of hugs and rubbing your back in soothing circles until you no longer shake, and your heartbeat returns to its usual pace.

BELPHEGOR

Belphegor enjoys the time you spend together, especially when the two of you are alone. He asks you to accompany him in the attic, and it’s not long before he curls around you, falling into a peaceful sleep as he listens to the steady beat of your heart. However, when he awakes it’s to the sound of your soft cries in the dark, which fill him with a fear he can’t seem to shake. Without hesitation he’s at your side, sitting up to softly place a hand on your shoulder and ask you what’s wrong. The sadness in your eyes as you glance up at him, tears staining your cheeks, tugs at his heartstrings. He can’t bear to see you upset.

Once he realizes you’re having a panic attack, he’s attentive to your needs, cradling you in his arms as you cry into his chest. You confided in him about your struggles with anxiety after you fell to pieces in front of him months ago. A part of him understands, the loss of Lilith haunting him throughout the years and instilling a similar feeling of unease within him, especially when his nightmares seem to blur the line between reality and the painful memories of his past. You always came to his rescue and now it’s his turn to comfort you in your time of need. Sleep can wait.

With you in his embrace, he brings you down to relax against the pillows, pulling the blanket around your shivering form. You rest your head on his shoulder, and he gently brushes the remaining tears from your face, whispering words of love and reassurance. He listens to you when you’re comfortable to talk, the slight tremble of your voice causing him to draw you closer and press a kiss to your forehead. Belphegor tells you he’s here for you—forever—and although he’s still learning about anxiety and finding the best ways to comfort you during an attack, he wants you to depend on him no matter what. Even if that means you wake him up in the middle of the night. He won’t rest until he knows you’re okay, and you’re peacefully sleeping in his arms.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me reader #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #my writing

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locke-writes · 4 years

Text

Becoming Whole

Author: locke-writes

Title: Becoming Whole

Based On: Imagine Hotch falling in love with you, the person he hired to take care of Jack when he’s away By: Myself. Originally Requested By: @lotsoffandomimagines

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,038

Tag List: @opalsandlacemain

After Haley was killed Aaron made a vow to keep Jessica in Jack's life. She was his aunt and regardless of whether or not her sister was alive she was still related to Jack, she was always going to be Aunt Jessica to him. It seemed cruel to cut her out of Jack's life for the sole fact that his mother, her sister, was gone. Family was family no matter what circumstances may occur.

Aaron supposed he knew that there had to be an end to the way he had been using Jessica. She was family that was true but family should not be delegated to babysitter and that was what he had been using her for as of late. It had been only six months since Haley died - he liked to think of it as died and not killed - yet his idea of keeping Jessica in Jack's life had changed to more having Jack in Jessica's life. He knew that he couldn't keep relying on her day in and day out. Rare occasions when he was home and able to take Jack to school or home from school meant Jessica had little freedom, but little freedom was not the same as all the freedom she once had.

She had turned from Aunt to babysitter in the six weeks since. Guilt weighed heavy on Aaron's shoulders, not just due to his belief that he was taking advantage of Jessica but because he felt he was burning the only bridge that he had for Jack to remember his mother by. Whether that was foolish or truth he didn't want to know, refusing to bring up the subject around Jack. Instead he began looking online for anyone who he felt would be a suitable match to care for Jack.

He began scouring the internet looking at general caretaker sites and individual sites although none seemed to be the right match. It wasn't fair to judge someone based on a profile but that was his job at he refused to believe that he could ever be wrong. Aaron wondered if his endeavor was hopeless because it certainly felt that way. He didn't want to give up, didn't want to forgo the endeavor as he wanted to make sure that there was someone he could count on, someone whose job that it actually was, to care for Jack.

Your name seemed to come up multiple times after he brought up that he was looking for someone to take care of Jack. His schedule was cleared for the week while he dealt with the parent teacher conference for Jack and he felt taking the week off (on call for major emergency's only) would be beneficial in scheduling your interview.

Resume in hand you knocked on the door of the Hotchner household. To say that the man who opened the door was intimidating at first was an understatement even if he did insist you call him Aaron it didn't help that he worked for the FBI. You wondered if he'd already run a background check on you or pulled whatever records on you that he could potentially gain access to.

Caretaker, that was your title. You joked that it always seemed to conjure images of the elderly rather than the children you seemed to care for but it always seemed a better term to you than babysitter or nanny. Aaron had to agree and was ultimately impressed with your experience and references. While he wouldn't tell you in the interview, you were the one person he felt could be truly compatible with Jack.

He called you an hour after the interview to offer you the job which you readily accepted.

The following week was your first meeting with Jack Hotchner. Aaron had asked you to meet him and Jack at the park near his house, a space where Jack often felt calm and a space that wouldn't make him feel as though there was an intruder in his home. This latter portion was specifically important to Aaron as he wanted Jack to never have to relieve that day. You would only learn later on what had happened to Haley.

Jack was shy at first, remaining by his father's side even after the reassurance that you were someone he could trust. It wasn't a new experience for you, getting children to open up and be welcoming, but you knew that it would take time. With Jack it took only a matter of minutes as you commented on one of the characters on his backpack. That launched Jack into a ten minute conversation on the cartoon with Aaron smiling as he watched his son interact with you. It seemed then that you were a perfect match.

And you still were, a year and a half later.

Aaron had never really thought about when you would stop caring for Jack. Perhaps when Jack was old enough that Aaron felt comfortable with him being home alone after school although that wasn't any time soon. You'd never made mention of wanting or looking for another job, you were happy at the Hotchner household and the Hotchner household was happy to have you.

Jack loved you and Aaron…might have been in love with you. Somewhere in the last few months he felt something changed when he looked at you, it wasn't something he wanted to admit to himself still thinking he wasn't ready after Haley. The team knew, and had met you, which meant that Dave had seen the way Aaron looked at you. What Aaron didn't acknowledge or felt he couldn't acknowledge, Dave saw and knew.

You cared for Jack, you cared for his father. Aaron recognized this yet he refused to say anything about it. His cases were important, Jack was important, feelings were something that could be pushed aside and buried deep down until maybe they simply ceased to exist. Aaron convinced himself he wasn't ready, he wasn't going to be able to move on from Haley.

Although with you he knew all of that to be a lie.

It was all a lie, telling himself he didn't love you, that he didn't care for you. You cared for him, took care of him I ways he could truly never understand. Not that it was difficult to understand, but just that you didn't have to and yet you chose to. You were hired to take care of his son, he wasn't part of the job and yet in some ways you made sure he was cared for as well.

You picked Jack up from school, you cooked him dinner and made sure on the late nights that he went to bed on time. But you also made sure that there were leftovers for Hotch in the fridge, you made sure Jack had Skype calls with Aaron when he was off for cases, you took care of him more than you should. And Aaron began wondering why.

Why would you choose to care for him? It wasn't your job, you weren't getting paid extra for everything that you took care of specifically for himself although there were times that Aaron had provided more financial compensation than was agreed upon in the initial payment discussion and subsequent discussions regarding raises and bonuses. He always assured you he could afford it when you balked at taking money from him.

Had these been payments or ways for him to show he cared just the same?

It didn't hit him that he loved you until he came home from a case that had taken a week to long. Each night he called Jack he'd promised to be home soon, promised to take him to the aquarium like he'd been begging. He promised all sorts of things and as soon as he walked through the door he just wanted to collapse. What he'd seen, it wasn't anything new in terms of all the cases he'd been a part of but still, this time it hit differently.

But when the door opened and he walked inside there was something that made everything change. You were at the dining room table with Jack the two of you fighting off laughter while you struggled to maintain a firm command that Jack should continue his homework. It was simple but there it was, the moment that confirmed everything for Aaron.

He loved you. There was no doubting it. He loved you and this was what he wanted.

He wanted to see you when he came home. He wanted to be able to call you and talk to you when he was feeling overwhelmed. He wanted to hold you and hold your hand when taking Jack to the park. He wanted everything and he wanted it with you. Had he always been so blind? Had he always been so stubborn in his refusal to admit the truth?

"Is no one going to say hello?" He broke into the laughter and dropped his bag to the floor.

Jack launched himself at his father being wrapped into a hug.

You smiled, "Oh, hey Aaron! Sorry…we were a little occupied."

"I heard. A good joke?"

"Yeah. Have Jack tell it to you later, he's the one that came up with it"

He watched as you went into the living room to grab your things. It was always like this, he'd come home and you'd take your things and leave but he didn't want that this time. He had something he needed to say to you this time.

Aaron turned to Jack, "Hey, you think you can finish this in your room? We've got to talk about boring adult stuff"

Jack frowned but nodded and grabbed his notebook from the table. You set your bag back down and stepped into the kitchen, whatever was going to be talked about you hoped to lessen the blow by distracting Aaron with talk of dinner. He watched as you removed containers from the fridge.

"I hope you don't mind being childish. It's chicken nuggets with mac 'n cheese. I baked some cookies too."

"That's fine…do you want to stop for a second. It's nothing bad but it is serious"

You paused, was he just saying it wasn't bad because he wanted to soften the blow or was he being truthful"

"Ok. Go on."

"I've been refusing to accept it for too long and I don't know why. I've told you about Haley. I've told you about nearly everything and you've never backed away from it all. Maybe that scared me, maybe the fact that you could put up with all that was terrifying to me. I don't know."

"Aaron…"

"I'm in love with you."

"Oh"

"I needed you to know that. I needed to tell you that because keeping it from myself was tormenting me and I don't know how I'd bare keeping it a secret from you. I don't expect you to feel the same way and if you need to stop caring for Jack then I'll understand but"

You interrupted, "Yes I probably will have to look for a new job"

Aaron nodded.

"Because I don't want to be paid for taking care of the son of someone I love. That's just helping with parenting, no one needs to be paid for that."

He stared at you and you waited for him to say something before realizing that he was still processing what you had said. You knew the look on his face, it was the same one when he was trying to analyze an interrogation transcript trying to look for a flaw in the words.

"Aaron, I'm in love with you."

Before you knew it he was around the counter and kissing you. This was right, this felt right.

"Gross!" Jack's voice came from the hallway causing Aaron to pull away and turn towards his son.

"You were supposed to be in your room"

"I'm going back, can you not do that in the kitchen? I need someone to check my math homework."

"I'll be there in a minute Jack" you replied.

"Ok. Just make sure I'm not around when you're kissing from now on"

Aaron chuckled, "I guess I don't have to worry about telling him about us."

#locke writes #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds oneshot #aaron hotchner oneshot

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averyscarlet-blog · 3 years

Text

Project Clypse

Hello there stranger! If you don’t know who I am, or you’re too lazy to read my name, I’m AveryScarlet! You can simply call me Avery or Av. And if you know me on fanfiction.net, mostly through my works Mercury Alchemist or Final Fantasy Versus XV, welcome! Now, for a while now, I’ve been wanting to write up my own original story. Issue with me, thanks to college in the past, I haven’t properly developed the mindset to write a full-blown novel. I’ve gotten so used to typing up a chapter or two in a month before publishing them that I can’t properly focus as an actual writer should.

As much as I want to focus on writing some of my fanfiction, I can’t because I’m focusing on studying for NCLEX. So if you’re waiting for the next chapter for FF Versus XV... It’s almost done! It’s just gonna take a while. But as you can see below, I’ve been working on something else. I’m sure you’re confused as to who these characters are in the chat and why I’m pushing so many out. Well. I’ll tell you. This is my way of practicing for a story I’ve been... REALLY wanting to write for a long time. It doesn’t have a definite name, so I’m calling it Project Clypse. Which partially comes from the group my main characters are in.

Now, I thought of writing up their character bio’s but..... I’m not really that good at it as I used to be. I used to for when I was active in RP’s but I’m so rusty that I doubt I can keep up with whomever I’m chatting with. So, I’m just summarizing certain details you need to know about them! Not all of it because that'd be spoiling the story of every character. Now, with all that’s said and done, let me start explaining key points of Project Clypse.

Premise/Background

The story is centered on a world called Avarus, which you can say is sort of like Earth, except it was made with someone else's version of life. Or, it used to be. Avarus is one of the few remaining worlds that has an active patron God, who has chosen to go under the alias Belial. The world was originally created and governed by another, Belial’s younger sister, Soleil. After Avarus’ creation, and the birth of man, she was killed by an unknown assailant. But before she died, she was cursed to experience an endless cycle of death and rebirth into various random worlds. She will live a short mortal life, then die from either natural or unnatural causes.

According to Belial, this curse is bestowed only to Celetials who have performed a dire sin. While there is no definite way to lift the curse, Belial hopes that by locating and retrieving her while she's still alive, or at the very least obtain her soul, then he could find the proper means to spare his sister of her cursed fate and return Avarus's true patron Goddess. Because of her demise, life on the planet started to decay. To prevent its destruction, Belial forced the planet to stop rotating, hoping to delay it long enough for him to find Soleil.

However, there were dire consequences to this act. His actions indirectly causing the world to cease rotating; time became non-existent as a result. This, inevitably, killed off most of the remaining life in the world due to the imbalance of the ecosystem as one half of the planet became stuck in perpetual darkness, and the other being dried up caused prolonged exposure to the sun's light.

The only life that Belial was able to salvage was her sisters creation; humanity. Those that survived after the planet ceased its rotation found themselves unable to age. They can still die, but their bodies will no longer decay. During the first Century since Soleil’s death, the God went through various countermeasures to keep the world and the life still inhabits it safe until he can find his sister.

However, a strange plague began to manifest. Soon, it began to devour most of the remaining populace, creating a dark entity in the process; the Astrals (will explain in a different section).

While Belial was successful in wiping out the infected, the God realized that he cannot keep the last remnants of humanity safe. Not while there are still Astrals lurking about. So he put them to sleep, sealed them in a place that only he knows. However, because of the sudden absence of time and life, the world began to deconstruct itself each time he departed in search for her in other worlds. Realizing he cannot manage Avarus and search for his sister at the same time, he found an alternative. Since his conception, he had noticed a peculiar type of living being popping up now and then in a variety of sentient species. So he sought them out.

Eventually, gathered enough to temporarily replace humanity and trick the world itself into thinking life still exists. At first, he gathered adults since he knew nothing can grow in Avarus once they’ve lived in the world for a certain period of time, but because of their attachments to the worlds they originated from, it was difficult to convince them to remain. Then he thought up of another solution, one which he knew his sister would frown upon. Children. With their young minds, they’ll easily forget their place of origin and can be easily trained in the necessary skill in traversing through different worlds. And, after learning that the Astrals have branched out to those said worlds, learn how to handle their sudden enemy.

Their goal is simple; to locate and, if possible, retrieve Soleil and eradicate the Astrals.

Main Characters

Note: Just in case you did not know... I. Cannot. Draw. As much as it pains me to do this, but I need you guys to have some sort of idea on how they look like. I cannot find the original artists of the artworks; mostly because google imaging is shit and Pinterest tends to... Send you elsewhere. So of you know the artist, please PM me so I can give them credit. If you know they don't want their works republished, I'll remove it and try to figure something out. I take no credit whatsoever on the art! I merely scoured the internet for any references I could use. If you're wondering why I'm not.using actual people... You know how awkward that is?

Anyway, much of these are concepts so expect changes in the future. I tried to discuss as little as possible about each character. And let me tell ya.... That was a lot I had to cut off, so if the explanation is a bit messy, that was from me trying to select what to remove to avoid revealing too much.

. . .

Sound

‘I have to be better. I have to be a better leader. I have to be a better lover. I have to be a better sibling. If I don’t... then I’ll lose everything again. If I must, I’ll sacrifice my identity for a third time if it means protecting them.’

Credits to: T0Q00(?) - Okay, on Pinterest it has the person’s name AND link to their twitter account. The thing is... it’s empty. Their entire page is empty. At least I found the artist’s name?

Also known as the Glutton King, Sound is one of the leaders of his faction, Tunera Clypse and a member of Mythral. He is a first generation Nors. While not as lazy as Noise, he’s not really a fan of getting involved in fights with people. When it comes to killing Astrals; that’s an entirely different story.

Outwardly, he displays laid back, playful, and very concerning outlandish behavior. And by outlandish, I mean his... eating habits. Sound likes to experiment with his stomach. He’ll do absolutely ANYTHING to eat whatever he deems as edible. He also - absolutely - lacks any sense of shame (ex. walking out of the shower and to his room without a towel, slapping Noise’s butt). Although limited to communicate via writing, he makes sure that every single thing he writes is worth reading. Many are even surprised at just how fast he writes his messages. Then again, after years of practice, it’s expected he’d adapt.

Sound is self-aware of the fact that he’s a fictional character and will randomly break the fourth wall, causing much confusion to his friends several times. While not as dark as his previous self, Fell, he maintains some of his views towards life and tends to be as vocal - via writing - of his previous self's beliefs.

As a Cursed Blood, his curse forces him to conceal his face behind a customized Fox Mask. Depending on the amount of facial skin that was exposed, a person can live up to several minutes to several hours before inflicted with sudden death. If a person were to see the entirety of his face, they will die on the spot from unknown causes. He has a Physical Curse as well, which causes him to inflict a certain degree bad-luck to whoever hears his voice. While it’s rarely anything life-threatening, Sound is forced to become selectively mute. Although he tries his best to remain silent, he tends to accidentally let it a few words or sounds slip. Which usually occurs when he sneezes, and when he does, it is immediately advised by his friends to duck and cover.

After undergoing the Ascension Ceremony, he joined the faction Tunera Clypse and then gave up his original name, becoming the next Sound. Unbeknownst to him, his actions later in life has caused him to unknowingly become the Vessel of Gluttony. It is unknown if his eating habits is the reason he became the vessel or it’s the other way around. Either way, he has shown to be fully capable of controlling the abilities that comes with being a Vessel. Sound merely chooses not to use them.

. . .

Ayane Koronashi

“If my brother had left the orphanage that day without me, I would simply smile. If Ulric presented me his latest girlfriend, I’d smile. Smiling is all I can ever do without being a nuisance. I could never show them my pain. I want to cry but my curse renders me incapable of doing so. But now it’s better. I’m better.”

Also known as the Black Fox. Ayane is the younger twin sister of Sound. Like her twin, she is also a member of Tunera Clypse and Mythral; as well as a first generation Nors. Despite being an active member, unless accompanied by her brother, Ayane is rarely allowed to participate in any scouting or combat-related missions. The main reason for this is her curse. While also a Cursed Blood like her brother and some of their friends, the unnatural causes that led to sudden conversion to a cursed blood caused her condition to be unstable. At the beginning, she was unable to retain her original form and would take the shape of a fox.

After some time and practice, she has learned to maintain most of her former human appearance, leaving only a pair of fox ears to replace her human ears and a tail (not by choice) as an extra ligament. Not only that, some of her internal organs remain similar to that of a fox. Because of this, she is unable to eat certain foods that are potentially poisonous to her (or generally unhealthy). She was told that eventually, if nothing is done, she will permanently take the complete form of a fox. She cannot surgically remove the fox parts as they will simply grow back.

Side-note: No, they did not try or plan to remove her fox ears. The curse replaced her human ears so they cannot remove them without indirectly making her deaf.

Her personality is the somewhat similar to Sound’s, but is far more excitable and outgoing than her brother. Just like a fox, she is clever and witty, which she demonstrates many times during combat. She has a tendencyto steal things without her knowledge. While this isn’t necessarily kleptomania, as objects appear in her hands at random, she still tries get over her childhood habit. She does have a tendency to be reckless, though this is stems from her need to be useful as her curse leaves her unable to perform all of the necessary abilities that is required of a Nors.

Another thing to know is her intense hatred towards cats. Which will be explored at a later time.

As a Cursed Blood, she can take the form of a fox. While the size varies, depending on her emotional state, she is commonly seen to change into the size similar to an elephant. If she performs multiple transformations, she will regress to a regular sized fox and sleep for an extensive period of time. She has been recommended to avoid constantly rely on her full fox form as it will hasten the progression of her curse.

After undergoing the Ascension Ceremony, she followed her brother and joined the same faction as him, but unlike him, did not join as a core member so she did not have to give up her original name. Because of the current state of her body caused by her Cursed Blood, her emotions has unknowingly lead her to become thenext Vessel of Envy.

. . .

Reihana Toelle Ur Kamaria

“Why was I born like this... what did I deserve to be cursed like this!? All I want is to hold someone without fearing I’ll crush them. I can’t be the receiver forever!”

Or Rei for short. Is a member of Mythral and is a second generation Nors. As a floater, Rei rotates between the three factions, but she usually works with Tunera Clypse. Known for her terrifying brute strength, Rei is feared by many and is challenged on a near daily basis. Because of her strength and seemingly indestructible nature, she is (much to her annoyance) sometimes used as a human shield. While she is able to take on an army by herself, Rei tries not to go all out in fear of accidentally killing her allies in the crossfire. In terms of mental maturity, aside from Xavier, she is slightly more competent and is level-headed enough to not participate in childish activities. Most of the time.

Rei prefers to ‘punch first, talk later’ when confronted, though the talking never happens as her opponents is either obliterated or immediately knocked out after one hit. While she can be aggressive at times, she merely acts out on this person's due to the rumors that were spread when word of her curse began to circulate. Those closest to her have witnessed her carefree and adventurous nature. She is also cautious and careful of her surroundings, becoming more thoughtful in the usage of her strength as a result.

As much as she loves the thrill and adrenaline that comes from combat, she prefers not to fight too often. Mostly because it usually leads to unnecessary mass destruction. She craves for proper physical contact, but due to her curse, she forces herself to avoid it as much as possible.

Being the physically oldest, next to Percy, she tends to act like the big sister of the group, which Rei has admitted she finds embarrassing. Still, she works hard in trying to act as moral support for her friends. That doesn’t stop her from losing her temper when a certain line is crossed.

As a Cursed Blood, she is cursed with immeasurable strength. Her strength doubles based on who or whatever is the strongest in a world that she sets foot in. That, of course, excludes Celestial’s as the strength of the divinity is almost non-existent. By default, back in Avarus, her usual strength is enough to crumble an entire building. In other worlds, it depends. To help control and regulate her strength during combat, she uses a large amount of Astral Dust to create form-fitting gauntlets around her lower arm. She was meant to become the Vessel of Wrath but was instead changed to be the candidate for the Vessel of Pride.

. . .

Perseus Vlahos

"I used to believe that being a hero will allow you to cement your place in history. But over time, I learned that the farther in time your name is shared in time, you become nothing more than a mere legend. Or worse, a myth. Stories can be altered, changed. If that’s the case, I’d rather not be remembered at all. I didn’t work this hard just to be written off as a bedtime story.”

Christened under the name ‘Percy the Naive’ by his best friend, later life-long rival, Wilhelm, he is the current wielder of the legendary sword; Excalibur, and member of Infernum Poncitator. Grandson of Rayner, Percy is one of the few third generation Nors in Avarus. He is a kind young man and is respected amongst his peers (well, most of them) and superiors, so much so that he has been offered the position of leader of the faction. Percy refuses as not only deems himself unworthy, but out of respect for those that have lived in Avarus longer.

He displays many the ideal traits of a knight, eventually becoming viewed as an ideal knight by others. However, deep down, Percy perceives himself as the opposite. He feels he is a dishonorable fraud and is not proud of his status as Excalibur's chosen wielder. If he was given a chance to do it over again, Percy would immediately abandon his decision never search and locate the sword.

After joining Avarus, in a short span of time, Percy was able to easily establish himself as a sort of leader figure within his faction. While serious most of the time, especially during missions, due to his time with other Nors, has displayed a degree of patience and tolerance towards whoever he is assigned. Still, he never forgets their main objective and takes charge if he deems the assigned leader incompetent. Which happens more times than he refuses to count. He tries to maintain a cool head, but will severely reprimand others if the situation calls for it.

Proficient in the ways of the sword, he garnered the attention of (the then Mongrel) Mitchell. He was very reluctant in taking in a squire. But eventually, Percy relented after the younger boy attempted to fight against an Astral and nearly lost his life. He plans to one day pass down Excalibur to Mitchell once he gains the strength to surpass Percy.

At the moment, Percy is the current Vessel of Wrath.

. . .

Noise (***** Rallus)

“I tried all of my life to give my dad a reason why he shouldn't be treating his body the way he did. I tried all of my life to keep my friend in line so I'd never have to be the one to discipline him. And yet... If only I didn't try so hard, they'd still be alive.”

Author’s Note: Yeah I... legit do not know who this belongs to. There’s the artist’s signature so that’s the good thing. Problem is....

After escaping from the confines of his original world, Eingesperrt City, and, with the help Sound, joined Avarus and assumed the title of Noise. Unlike others that were gathered in the past, Noise is a regular human being. Something only Sound knows. Regardless of the danger, he became one of the leaders for Tunera Clypse, later joining Mythral after adapting to his new lifestyle.

He wears one of the Artifacts in order to copy and use only one ability of his choosing. As long as a piece of original user is within the Artifact, Noise can use it for as long as he wants. However, if its been removed and replaced with something else, the previous copied ability cannot be used ever again.

Since his recruitment, Noise adopted an extremely lazy personality. He’s so lazy that somehow even snoring consumes too much energy. To make sure he’s awake most of the time, Sound forced Noise to set up a sleep schedule, so that when he’s ready, he has enough energy to do SOMETHING. However, no matter where he is, he’ll take every opportunity to take a nap. He doesn’t care. As long as he gets to close his eyes, Noise is fine to sleep wherever, even if it involves napping righ at the edge of a volcano.

He’ll get annoyed if anyone that dares try to wake him up and he’ll be in a fowl mood for the rest of the day. The only exception is the fox girl and his lover. Despite this, he displays a certain degree of kindness. It’s just really hard to tell if what he’s doing is truly an act of kindness or he’s just too lazy to do things such as delivering a ‘motivational speech’. He can be blunt when he has to be, and he tends to come off as a jackass rude because of his personality. However, this is his way of showing he cares. Noise will flat out tell you if he dislikes you.

Another thing to know about him is his crude sense of humor. Combined with his blunt and rude nature towards people, mostly acquaintances and strangers, it always leads to various... Misunderstandings. Worst case scenario? A fight. He'd improve if he could, but he won't.

Look, if you haven't figure out that he's lazy after reading all this, gooood luck.

For reasons unknown, despite becoming the next Vessel of Sloth, it remains dormant within him. They thought of extracting it to learn the causes that led up to its current dormant state, but Sound intervened in time as he knew that extracting it by force will kill the the vessel.

. . .

Michael/Raphael/Gabriel/Uriel/Saraqael/Raguel/Remiel/etc

‘Dragons are raised under the false pretense that they are the supreme species above all others. But that merely obscures the truth; the truth that we’re just as vulnerable as anyone else. There are various ways to kill aside from piercing our hearts with a spear.”

Author’s Note: Just so you know, HE’S BLONDE and has green eyes! This was the only option I have that closely resembles how I envisioned him! There was another because he gives off the same atmosphere when you look at him but... he’s from an otome game. And I only learned that recently so, if the same goes for this one? WELP. Oh and he has patches of dark brown scales on part of his skin.

Neither a Quietus Nors nor a resident of Avarus, Michael is a dragon. His version of his race if capable of transformation, but can only change into the form of the last creature they devoured. Whole. Rather than his true form, in order to remain working in Avarus, chose to work in the form of the former Prince of Edrakon, a world where dragons were enslaved and cruelly treated as mere objects. Despite his appearance not being his own, he maintains an intimidating and powerful aura, which is easily distinguishable even within a large crowd.

Due to the high esteem he holds towards his race and his pride as a Dragon, he can come off as domineering, even becoming critical towards other versions of his race if he finds something illogical or nonsensical in their appearance and their abilities. While he does act this way, he finds it absolutely disgusting to find dragons place themselves in a position of power and abuses their power in controlling another species. Another aspect of him is that he looks down on dragons with physical defects, which is mostly directly aimed as himself due to his extremely poor eyesight. Thus, forcing him to rely on his human form to watch glasses. He also has a very confusing naming system; where he changes his name based on the date, time and temperature.

Micheal held the potential required to become a Nors, but because of his age, he was unable to undergo the necessary steps to fully integrate into Avarus. While others are reluctant to have him join their ranks, several others, for different reasons, allowed him to remain. This eventually allowed others to accept his addition to the organization.

As the one in charge of organizing and handling most of Avarus’ internal affairs, a job the Nors, even the Ex-Anima/Animus, are reluctant in taking up such an important position; he takes his job very seriously. Although he does express some contempt towards humans, this does not extend to the people he works with. He cares about them to a certain degree, which is shown by he constantly reprimands whoever acts risky during a mission.

He is the current Vessel of Pride, something he only learns of later on. Despite the fact Micheal is a vessel, Belial believes this is only temporary. He isn’t particularly close with Belial, but he respects the God enough to follow his orders.

. . .

Ulric Soknawo

'In my tribe, I was considered an outcast. You can thank the unnatural union that birthed me. Now? It hasn’t changed much, but at least I’m no longer considered the runt of the pack.’

Whose other name is Kuckunniwi, is a former member of the Aniwaya Tribe. In their world, his people are Natives who worshipped a guardian Wolf Spirit. According to them, in return for their unyielding loyalty and devoted nature, it granted the people with the power to take the form of the spirit they have worshipped for many generations. So long as they use that power to protect the forest, it shall provide them protection. Ulric is the third, second youngest, illegitamate son of the Tribal chief Tamaska and grandson of Wolfram.

As per tradition, all tribesmen are given two names, one for their human form while the other is for their inner wolf. Despite being allowed to use either name like others of his tribe, he refuses to be use his wolf name due to the meaning behind it. After being discovered by Ayane, she brought and recruited him to Avarus. Ulric is considered to be a Third Generation Nors due the fact his father was (oddly) not born a Nors, or had to potential to be converted into one.

Ulric tends to act like the stereotypical lone-wolf, choosing to remain in solitude and observe from a distance. He likes to spend his quiet time alone, though he does allow others to sit next to him when asked. Many have pointed out that he never smiles, but, as much as he hates to quote Noise, states that if there is no reason to smile, there is no reason to put so much effort in abusing his facial muscles.

As much as he loves being a wolf, he finds certain aspects of his second nature to be... aggravating. Depending on the season and the weather, it deals a the effects his wolf instincts on his human nature. Because of the two separate natures continually clashing, he tends to act irritable and his temper worsens, especially during the night. Ulric holds a strong belief that one’s nature, regardless of your race, should never control a one's personal feelings.

He holds an unyielding loyalty to his loved ones, almost to the point of willing to kill for them if the situation calls for it, but his actions are subtle and tends to be the exact opposite of how he truly feels. Only two people in his life have been able to decipher his behavior, and he cherishes them for it. Ulric has a bit of a temper as well but is able to keep it in check. His temper, however, is what led him to becoming a Cursed Blood. His curse forces him to foresee the deaths of whomever he romantically falls in love (or at least feel an interest) with.

Any attempts at interfering will only hasten their death.

. . .

Xavier Wozwald Hawthorne

'Murderers are dumbasses, always killing because of their unchecked emotions and pented up desires. Hence why most of them clumsily try to hide their crime. Serial killers are more... sofisticated with their craft, but their ego always gets in the way. If they weren’t complete dumbasses, they would have lived a long comfortable life. I should know.’

Note: Yes, this is obviously Vflower. Did I know that before? No. Do I plan to change the art reference? Yes, but only when I find one that’s not a god dang real-life person’s online avatar. XD Seriously, each time I thought I found one... it’s an utaite or vtuber.

Is a member of Mythral and a First Generation Nors. Like Rei, he is a Floater, which allows him to particiate in mission for all three factions. However, he prefers to work with those in Tunera Clypse as, since they mostly handle scouting and recruiting missions. As long as he doesn’t remain in Avarus for too long, he's fine with accepting any mission related to Tunera. Xavier will still accept missions from other factions, but that's merely to fill up his quota.

Despite appearing around the age 12-14; which was not by choice, Xavier is in fact mentally older than most of his fellow Nors. Known for his sharp tongue, Xavier is one of the few known Nors to have been granted permission to travel outworld immediately after undergoing the Ascenscion Ceremony.

Due to the experiences his past life went through, Xavier has a very grim outlook of the world and displays little to no respect towards authority figures. And that includes his current patron God; Belial, which only worsens after being told by the God that he is unable to help Xavier grow into the appropriate intended size. Unlike most Nors, he displays a high degree of critical thinking and intelligent. He is, if not more, level-headed than one of his friends; Percy. Though that doesn’t stop the teasing. While confident in his abilities in terms of combat, Xavier knows the limits of his current smaller body.

In order to compensate, he creates an excessively large scythe as compensation, but he's too proud to admit this.

Because of his level of maturity, he has been labeled as a 'Midget Grandpa'. Which he fails at trying to prove otherwise by collecting certain tthings that are considered out of date by their standards. Eventually, it became a soft of hobby for him to collect such things.

Xavier tends to display a sadistic nature while in combat, choosing to taunt his opponent by constantly pointing our their obvious flaws deficits and toy with them until the last minute. Most times, he will use his child-like appearance to his advantage to further torment his opponent/victim. Comically enough, if his opponent is a cold-blooded criminal, Xavier will compliment and , depending on their actions, congratulate them; much to the annoyance of those involved.

Like Sound, he has both a Physical and Blood-based Curse, but unlike the latter, Xavier was born with both. His Physical Curse has caused severe permanent scarring on his right arm, making it appear similar to third degree burns. If freed from any type of coverage, such as bandages, his arm will painfully be set a blazed, forcing him to conceal his arm at all times. As a Cursed Blood, Xavier has a similar effect of a Siren, except his hypnotic singing forces someone to commit suicide. Every time he uses this curse, he temporarily falls into a coma.

. . .

Succu(bus) Kilmer

Like her name suggests, Succu is a succubus, but belongs to a different version of her species. Due to being a demon, she is forbidden to reveal her true name. Succu is neither a Nors nor a Cursed Blood. She’s more of an illegal immigrant after sneaking her way into a group of Nors when they were scouting for potential recruits. There have been many attempts in trying to relocate her back to her original world, but she is able to seduce her attackers and slip away. Eventually, Belial declared that she will be allowed to remain as a resident, so long as she contributes in their mission to locate Soleil.

While they do seduce those of the opposite sex, her source of food is not as grotesque as several others. She does seduce her victim, but moves her body in a way that her victims find alluring. Succu will then massage certain parts of their body as a means to relax them. To assure that they will not attempt to escape, she will release pheremones that nulls the victims senses. What she devours isn’t the flesh of her victim nor does she devour their soul, she merely devours the emotions she was able to invoke until her hunger is quenched.

Succu is flirtaceous and very... very.... VERY- Well, you get the point. While she doesn’t flaunt her beauty, she does know how to use it to her advantage. However, despite many approaching her, Succu has only eyes for one, and is willing to wait as long as possible for that person to reciprocate her feelings. Succu, although assertive and open with her feelings, is not the type to force them onto someone.

She does like to express herself by getting physical - very physical. Not the way that you’re thinking, you perverts. She finds it more convenient to allow her actions to talk rather than saying things verbally. Since she’s an outsider, she notices several things that not even Pery or Ulric have noticed, and both are outsiders as well considering the fact they grew up outworld before being recruited. Regardless, she remains silent for the sake of remaining by her beloved’s side.

Succu is often mistaken as the Vessel of Lust due to her nature, and, on her part, finds it’s tiresome to prove that she is not.

Side Characters

Tank Mortem

A former member of Tunera Clypse and Mythral, Tank has been assigned to act as one of the engineers in maintaining the Infernian Generator due to his body’s condition and the issues of his mental state. He seldom participates in missions but, despite being given strict orders not to, joins in anyway. Due to the limits of his mental capacity, Tank has difficulty interacting with others. Quite literally.

Beatrix Staccato

Is a researcher and inventor in charge of the tools and weaponry utilized by most Nors and Ex-Animus. Having taken over most of the unfinished projects since the passing of his master, Beatrix has dedicated all of his time in improving the welfare of the world and its inhabitants. However, most of his experiments tend to be a bit... over the top. If he’s not thinking of new potential products that may benefits the Nors, he’ll make whatever comes at the top of his head, and most of the time it’ll lead him to make the most outrageous and unnecessary items. Beatrix prefers to remain in his lab/home at all times, rendering his social interactions with the three factions to be limited via holographic meetings.

‘Nyx’ Pierrot

Leader of Vanidicus Persona, she is one of the oldest Nors - next to Constantine - making her the default leader of her faction. Much about her is a mystery. Even her behavior can be viewed as... questionable. Not outlandish, that’s Sound’s department. Her behavior is so odd that it’s enough to baffle even Belial. She takes her leadership over her faction very seriously, however, as part of her nature, the requirements in joining and maintaining your membership vastly deviates from the original. However, looks can be deceiving. Aside from her seniority, there is a reason why she was given the position of leader.

Mitchell Pierrot

He prefers to be called as ‘Mitch’ after being told, and proven, by his sister how much of a tongue twister his name is if repeated constantly in a single conversation. While he is the younger brother of Nyx, Mitch opted to become a submember of Tunera Clypse upon undergoing the Ascension Ceremony to be in the same faction as his mentor, Perseus Vlahos. Compared to the Nors in his batch, he is viewed as weak by many as he is unable to perform the abilities that is expected of him to develop after becoming a Nors.

Constantine L. Refrain

Nothing is truly known about him except that he’s a chronic smoker. Nobody truly knows who he is, no one even knows which faction he belongs to. It’s nearly impossible to question these things as he is constantly surrounded by a shroud of - barely tolerable - smoke. All that is known is that he’s been around longer than most of the Ex-Animus. Constantine usually frequints the Silent Siren Bar, staying there for hours until he’s either drunk or needs to receive another pack of cigarretes from Beatrix. He says they’re for medicinal purposes buuuuut...

I’m pretty sure black smoke isn’t normal.

Stefan Mal Sorcier

Is Percy’s second pupil. Although, it was more like Percy was forced into taking in another after his continual refusal to become leader of Infernum Poncitator. Outwardly, he is aloof and always appears smiling, which unsettles Mitchell even when they’re alone. His politeness is found unusual by many and causes others to feel wary around him. Even the dragon finds himself is unable to remain in the same vicinity as the young man. Despite being full of many secrets, Percy accepts him as is and tries his best to teach him all he can, which Stefan appreciates.

Kyline Necro

Considered as the mascot ambassador of Avarus, like the soul that was fused with her upon birth, she mostly lounges around and has little participation in any missions in and out of Avarus. This has caused her to be disliked by many, most especially Ayane. The only person Kyline has gotten close to is Noise; mostly because they share the same favored sleeping spot. On a side, she acts a physician, or surgeon if you like to get technical. She has a strange fondness of picking apart and replacing specific limbs with doll parts.

Yu-Yan Chi Ryou

Was once one of the strongest Nors from Xavier’s batch until he was inflicted by an unknown disease during one of his missions. While there is no name for the disease, it has caused much of his bones to undergo crystallization; rendering him immobile due to the pain that comes from even the smallest of movements. Since he is incapable in participating in any activities, Yu-Yan has since been forced to be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of his life.

Anita Eine Kleine

Is the fighting instructor of the Mongrels and a member of Infernum Poncitator. Anita is a highly-skilled caster, able to conjure and manipulate various elements. She absolutely hates the term ‘witch’, even going as far as to cast a minor curse in making a person temporarily mute if they refer to her as one. Which Sound found rather offensive when he found out about the curse, something she deeply apologized for. She participates in some Scouting Missions but only if personally requested by someone from Tunera Clypse.

Victor Stein

Is Beatrix’s (only living) research assistant. He is the sole survivor of the Night of the Black Moon. Although having physically recovered, the damage to his mental state has left a deep scar on his psyche. He fears yet obsesses over the sensation of pain. There is not one instance where he isn’t found sowing over his own intact skin. While Victor knows his addiction found uncomfortable by others, he finds it extremely difficult to control his urges.

Wolfram

Grandfather of Ulric and most of his siblings, he is an Ex-Anima (or retired Nors) and a former member of the original Mythral. As the more experienced and one of the longest surviving resident of Avarus, he acts as a mentor to those who seek his guidance. However, in terms of combat, his skills are very limited as he has become permanently stuck in his wolf form. The only grandchildren he's ever personally met are Ulric and Seeing, who have both ironically became his favorite. While acting as a mentor, he is rather strict, constantly parting lessons in order to make sure none make the same mistakes he committed when he was younger, many of which he refuses to share.

Diantha Anemone

Despite being still a Liberi, Dia still participates in many activities meant to be done only by Nors. She originally wanted to become a part of Tunera Clypse due to the many adventures imparted by Sound. But after having a first hand experience in one, it traumatized her to the point where she wants to merely work as a Librarian, a position many people avoid.

Echo & Yell

Fellow teammates of Sound and Noise. As part of the four heads leaders that overwatch many of Tunera Clypse's activities, both in and out of Avarus. They mostly take charge of delegating the members while the other two take an active role in leading many scouting missions off-world. Contradicting her name, like Sound and Noise, her personality is the completely opposite. Due to her sociophobia, she is extremely shy and is unable to speak when talked to, only whispering her sentences as she talks. Yell, however, is the only one whose personality fits the mantle she inherited. Due to her curse, she has to raise her voice after every two hours. If not, she will fall into a coma, and she can only be awaken by *************.

Important Figures

Belial

Credits to: @airtrees0507 (Again, another artist who... disappeared from the internet. How do I keep finding refrences where the artist is just gone?)

Is a Celestial and the younger brother of Soleil. However, despite his godly status, he does not have any of the expected gifts. Neither a god of creation, life, or death, he has been given the title God of Void by his peers. Because of this, he is incapable of maintaining Avarus by himself, forcing him to use alternative (and questionable) means in preserving the world his sister created. Like his title, Belial is unable to express emotions, giving blank demeanor. He does, however, hold some semblence of emotions within him. Yet despite this, he has little to no understanding of life, death and emotions. Even after centuries since he over his sister’s role as Patron God, he still has no understanding to all living things, almost to the point of coming off as insensitive and heartless.

Belial has a deep devotion to his sister, having gone through great lengths to make sure to maintain her world and willingly sacrifice the lives of many. Despite knowing her distaste towards such acts, he holds onto the hope of one day finding her.

Soleil

Credits: Um... Lucare Eu??? Sorry, I’m just basing it off the signature. Once again, can’t find the artist themself so...

The true patron goddess of Avarus and the older sister of Belial. Aside from her status as the original creator and caretaker of her world and the life that once flourished within it, not much is known about her. While her exact cause of death is unknown, she was cursed to live an endless cycle of death and rebirth in various worlds. In order to restore the world she created and loved dearly, Belial dedicated his life in searching for her soul and freeing her of her curse. As a Celestial, she was said to have chosen to take the form of her first ever creation and first mortal friend.

It is said that, despite having blessed with the gift of creation, she was known to be a lonely goddess. Those that new her describe as someone that’s physically there but is spiritually detached.

The Oracle

Is a title given to those with the ability to commune and guide the spirits to the Empyrean Plain, more specifically Avarus’ residences due to the absence of Soleil. The Oracle acts as the divine anchor on the world to aid Belial in prolonging the world’s existence. They are also the main source of Belial’s divine power; both of which are maintained through her prayers. The gender and species of the Oracle is non-specific, but it if preferred by Belial if they are humanoid and have the ability of speech for the sake of communication.

The current Oracle is Aniela Fischl, who, unlike her predecessors, is able to foresee various futures. She does so by carefully peeking through the leylines and selects various possibilities that solely benefit Avarus. No one is allowed to meet her except Belial and her assigned Seekers.

The Seekers

The guardians, caretaker, and acting medians between the Oracle and the residents of Avarus. Their duty is to ensure that the chosen Oracle remains within the Spiral Tower and that he/she fulfills their duty, even going as far as to grant their wish regardless of the consequenses. Each Seeker has only one desire, and that’s to protect the Oracle at all times.

Races

Liberi

Age Range: Birth or 5 to 10 years

Although that is the official term, ‘Mongrel’ is what they are commonly referred as. It is the used for the for the children taken to or born in Avarus. Mongrels spend most of their young lives training within the safe walls of the Aldebaran Academy. They are forbidden from leaving as, according to Belial, they are the extremely fragile during this point of their lives. Regardless of their age, depending on how well they’ve performed in training, they will be given the right of undergoing the Ascension Ceremony. Those who fail are xxxxxxxx xx.

Due to their young age, their behavior is more sporadic than that of a normal child. Their reflexes are enhanced, almost to the point where it becomes difficult to contain them. Mongrels lack common sense so they tend to act out without fully understanding the impact their actions have. While childish and friendly by nature, Travellers are advised to approach with caution. Those who act beyond the expected norm are called Prodigies.

Quietus Nors

Age Range: (Physically) 14-19, (Mentally) 10 or above

Or simply called, Nors. After their graduation, every Nors is immediately sent to work. Depending on the final results of their training prior to undergoing the ceremony/procedure, each is individually assigned into one of the three factions ; Infernum Poncitator, Vanidicus Persona, and lastly, Tunera Clypse (formerly called Tunera). Those that are assigned to neither of the factions are assigned to more menial jobs alongside the Ex-Animus,

Despite their young minds, they have quickly adapted into their new forms. Due to time becoming almost non-existant in Avarus, Nors age at a rapidly slow rate. Though known to be childish by nature due to the gap of their young minds to their bodies, they dangerously lack empathy and display little to no compassion and remorse towards others. In worst cases, some act selfishly on their own accord. On a positive note, they lack any emotions that may hinder their mission in locating Soleil; such as fear.

Only two of the three current generations of Nors differ greatly from the first:

First Generation Nors - Are those converted or directly born within Avarus with the blood of two Nors. Those born in the first generation share two specific physical characteristics; raven black hair and golden eyes. They all share the same abilities upon conversion/birth, but it depends on the individual which ones they should master. Unless they happen to be a Cursed Blood, they are unable to obtain different abilities to call their own. They are required to undergo the Ascension Ceremony.

Second Generation Nors - In terms of personality, they are considered half as bad as those in the first gen. Unlike the previous, second generation Nors are considered slightly weaker, however, they have a better chance of obtaining other abilities outside of Avarus. Their hair is slightly lighter shade of black but their eyes remain the same. They too are required to undergo the Ascension Ceremony.

Third Generation Nors - While rare, they do tend to appear once in a while. It’s not exact how one falls into this category. The closest is being the grandchild or who has an anscestor that was a Nors. Because of their circumstances, these Nors are far weaker as they cannot use any of the standard abilities. Third Generation Nors are far difficult to locate as their potential doesn’t surface until they are of a much later age, rendering them incapable of taking necessary training to hone their abilities and undergoing the Ascension Ceremony. They do not share the common personality or physical traits of a Nors. One thing every Nors in this generation share are sky blue eyes, which emit a faint glow when in the dark.

Ex-Animus (or Anima for singular)

Age Range: (Physically) 30 to 40, rarely appears in their early 20′s

Are individuals who are retired from their duties as a Nors. Although Nors generally age at an excessively slow rate (due to the effects of Avarus), after a number of cycles (which refers to the number of batches that underwent the Ascension Ceremony), they will be given the order to retire. Regardless whether they are willing to or not, there is nothing they can do once the order has been issued. Once one becomes an Ex-Anima, they are completely cut off from their original faction and are unable to leave Avarus for the rest of their life.

Not only that, they are unable to defend themselves like they used to as they can no longer control Astral Dust and use the abilities from their time as a Nors,Basically. Basically, Ex-Animus’ are left to fend for themselves.

Factions

Every Nors is allowed to join any of the three factions; Infernum Poncitator, Vanidicus Persona , and Tunera Clypse. There is an option to not join any of the factions; they are called ‘Floaters’.

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queencatherynerhys · 4 years

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Taken - Part 12

A/N: I know it’s been forever since I’ve updated this series, but I still constantly go back to it. I must have worked on this chapter, and revised it 15 times. I just wasn’t satisfied on how it kept turning out. It’s been 2 years since I started this series, but hopefully, one day I will finish it.

Summary: Liam deals with Catheryne’s disappearance, and we also take a quick look on Catheryne’s journey out of Cordonia.

Tag List: @devineinterventions2 @madaraism @theroyalweisme @drakewalkerwhipped @laniquelove-blog @drakesfiance @hhiggs @hellospunkiebrewster @alicars @mrswalkerreynolds @mfackenthal @simplyaiden-blog @hopefulmoonobject @blackcatkita @cocomaxley @boneandfur @lizeboredom @crayziimaginations @umccall71 @zarina-x-zig @ranishajay @heatherfilliez @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @mom2000aggie

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. They solely belong to Pixelberry. Also, credits for the image used for the book cover.

*CATCH UP HERE*

Liam dismisses Drake after a long, tense conversation about Catheryne and her sudden disappearance. He is determined to find her, so he summons for Bastien to come to his office right away.

He waits for his head of security outside in his balcony with a glass of scotch in hand. One question keeps eating away in his mind. How do you find someone who doesn’t want to be found? Is finding her even what fate wants him to do? Screw fate. I love her. I will never stop looking until I find her. He has to hold onto the tiny hope of finding and being with her again if he is to remain sane.

After a few minutes of waiting, Bastien finally arrives in his office.

“Your Majesty, you summoned for me?” Bastien greets him formally.

“Yes, thank you for coming, Bastien,” he replies as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I won’t beat around the bush. Catheryne has left and disappeared. I need you to arrange a small task force to search for her. Use any resources you need to do that. Start your search at the airport and any other forms of travel. If she’s left the country, travel manifests and workers must have recognized her. I want to know where she’s headed. I want an update on every information you uncover,” he relays his tasks to his trusted head of security and friend. Bastien didn’t seem too fazed about learning that Catheryne disappeared so suddenly.

“I will get that done right away, sir. And as asked, I do have information for you. Duchess Catheryne’s horse, Nightingale, has just returned to the palace a while ago. She’s a smart horse. She must have found her way back on her own. We’re guessing Her Grace didn’t take her too far before finding another mode of transportation,” Bastien informs his king.

“Thank you for the update, Bastien. You may go,” Liam nods toward the door as a sign of the end of their brief meeting. When the door closes, he finally lets himself grieve. His shoulders slump forward with the burden he carries. Tears of loss, exhaustion, and pain fall and he has no strength left to hold them back.

His runs his fingers through his hair as he wonders why this is happening to him. Have I done something wrong that fate or destiny sees that I suffer? Was it such a big request that I marry not just for country but for love, too? All he wanted was to be a good king for his people and rule them with Catheryne by his side, but he guess that was even too much to ask or wish.’

Half of the day passes, and Liam tries to muster enough focus to get work done. Policies need to be reviewed and signed, but he just didn’t have the energy to do it. His heart and mind ached for Catheryne’s presence. Just to see her smile, hear her voice and laughter ring down the hall, and feel her touch would heal the deep hole she left in his heart.

Liam is startled by the sound of the opening door. When he looks up, Bastien is once again standing in front of him. Bastien begins to bow, but Liam interrupts him.

“No need for formalities, Bastien. Just give me the report. Have you found anything useful on where Catheryne is heading?” Liam asked.

“After a thorough search of all modes of transportations, we found no clues of where Her Grace might be heading. We’ve warned agencies to not disclose the reason of why were searching for her. But after looking at every manifest from all forms of travel out of the country, we found no trace of her.

Her name wasn’t in any of them nor did anyone recognize her. We are speculating that with her…background…that she must have known to use an alias and a disguise to avoid being found,” Bastien finishes his report, and Liam loses even more of the tiny hope he is clinging onto. I should have known that she wouldn’t make it easy for me to find her. He lets out a deep sigh.

“Thank you, Bastien. If there’s anything we’ve learned anything about Catheryne by now is that she doesn’t do anything in half style, but I’m not giving up hope. I want you to use any resources to find her. Search through security feeds from the airport and other areas. Look for anyone that might resemble her. If that doesn’t turn up anything, branch out to other countries. I’m not losing hope,” Liam commands.

He is not losing hope. It seems the beginning of his new mantra. He will scour the face of the earth if he has to. He needs her. He can’t live without her.

~Catheryne’s POV~

Catheryne races away from the place she calls home. It takes all of her willpower to not look and turn back around. She knows that she needs to leave, but she can’t bear the thought of what Liam will go through when he wakes up.

She tries to pull her mind away before it drowns with any more guilt. She concentrates on the sounds and feel of Nightingale’s powerful stride. Before she knew it, they’ve arrived on the location where they part ways. She decided not to take her too far away.

She tugs at her horse’s reins to slow her down. When they come to a stop, she dismounts the black horse and pulls her towards the blanket of the trees to avoid being seen. She gently strokes her loyal mare’s forehead.

“Thanks, girl. For everything. But I’m afraid this is the end of our journey together. I trust that a smart horse like you can find her way back home. I know Drake will take extra good care of you,” she whispers to her equine friend. Nightingale responds with a resounding neigh and touches forehead with her as if begging Catheryne to don’t go in her own language.

“I’m sorry, Nightingale. I have to go, but I want you to watch over my friends, ok. Take care of them, and make them happy,” her voice cracks as she backs away from her. The horse tries to get closer to her, but Catheryne replied with the shake of her head.

“No, girl. You have to go, ok? Go,” she points towards where they came from. Nightingale obeyed, but before galloping away, looks back at Catheryne with sad eyes.

“Goodbye, Nightingale,” Catheryne bids her farewell and pats her rump to send her back home. She watches as the black racehorse sprints back toward the palace.

Catheryne takes a deep breath and continued her journey. I will not cry here. She rummages in her backpack for the items she needs for her disguise. She pulls out a wig, a pair of glasses, and a US passport. One important thing her parents taught her was to always have a bug out bag packed with different named passports and types of currencies. It made her escape easier to execute.

She has been planning her leave within the last 2 months. She coordinated a taxi cab to pick her up near the boardwalk where she and her gang of friends had their first late night excursion to get cronuts.

As she walks down the quiet, eerie streets, she relives the memory of the social season and the exhausting tour of Liam and Madeline’s engagement. It was the first time in her life she tasted what it felt like to not be her parent’s daughter. All her life she spent running away from her demons, until she met Liam. He brought happiness and reprieve that she was longing for.

Sure, they had problems along the way with the conspiracy against her, but she thought she would finally be free, then she was kidnapped and manipulated by those bastards. Now, she’s…she doesn’t even know who she is.

She doesn’t know how to fit in the world, her world. She couldn’t stand the looks anymore. She knew running away looks weak and, even, cowardly, but she didn’t know how to heal emotionally in the confines of the palace and courtly politics.

Before she can get deeper in her insecurities, she sees the red light of the taxi she ordered. She climbs in the back and asks the driver to take her to the airport. It was a quick fifteen minute drive. She exchanged no words upon arrival, only handing the payment for fare and gratuity to the equally silent driver.

The airport was busy with tourist, even in the middle of the night. Ever since the arrival and rise of the American duchess in Cordonia, travelers have been flooding the tiny, fairytale-like country. She hopes that they will love this beautiful land as much as she does.

Her journey through security and to the gate was smoother than she previously anticipated. She sits down by the large picturesque window and watches as dusk makes way for dawn. She waits for half and hour before the attendant calls for boarding to begin. It wasn’t long before till her plane is taxiing on the tarmac.

She looks out her window to the wonderful place below. She sees the grand palace, and the tears she’s been holding back finally rolls down her face. In the glistening golden building, her king lies peacefully asleep dreaming of good things before waking up and finding her gone. I’m so sorry, my love. I hope one day you’ll forgive me for leaving.

She closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath. She doesn’t know what the future lies ahead for her and Liam, but before anything can happen she must first find herself again and who knows how long that will take or if she ever will?

#play choices #choices the royal romance #choices trr #trr liam #king liam #liam rhys #liam x mc #taken #romance #hurt #angst #dark

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allycryz · 3 years

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Fic Writer Meme

Tagged by @elveny and @kunstpause (thank youuu)

Name

Fandoms

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Oh hey this got super long so putting under a cut

tagging all of YOU! Do it!

Name: Ally, allycryz, BountyHuntress16 on Ao3 which is a username I have carried from the early FF dot net and DA days

Fandoms: Currently writing for FFXIV, reading in everything. Do write some YYH with a friend and have written for Bioware games, MCU, DBZ (though I have not brought my DBZ fics over to Ao3) . Did some time on the Bioware kink memes back in the day (more about that later)

Most Popular Oneshot: Okay gonna do of all time and for FFXIV since FF is my current

Of All Time (Ao3 stats only)

Tetrad: Wrote on the high of CA: The Winter Soldier which is still one of my fave movies of all time and flung myself deep into Sam/Steve/Nat/Bucky fics. Also one of the first times I let myself explore some ~*feelings*~ I’d not allowed myself to before and would not really understand for at least another 3-4 years

Also my only G-rated fic on Ao3

Current Fandom

Ardent: Around HW time I was struck by the idea of “man I would love to do a fic where Haurchefant and Nerys are trapped in a cabin in a blizzard” and I finally gave in and did it, and it sorta launched everything I’m working on now

Also the first thing I had actually finished in a long time. This year has been a year of finding ways to finish things and learning to not fall into “if you write a snippet of any other WIP then you are BAD”

Most Popular Multi-Chapter: While I did some time on both of the big Bioware kink memes back in 2011-2013, I was more active in the Mass Effect one. A prompt caught my eye that intrigued me and I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I sat down to write and it just...poured out of me

I look at a lot of stuff I wrote in college and before and it is...honestly rough a lot of the times because college was a time of breaking away from some truly toxic and harmful ideologies. Every day I find a new pre-conception I need to shed

So I am honestly surprised that given the subject matter and my immaturity at the time, Galaxy’s Oldest Profession turned out as well as it did. I still really like it. Idk, maybe there is a reason it just...sprung out of me like it did with a bisexual heroine who wasn’t afraid of her body and her sexuality. And again, this was years before I let myself come out to myself.

Anyway that got extremely sentimental but even though a nasty, doubting part of me is worried I peaked then, I’m glad I wrote it and that people like it. (Also the Shepard in that is so different from the Paragon I played, both are extremely dear to me in different ways. I think my first tattoo will be a paragon symbol for **reasons** but this renegade-flavored Shep in the series is a part of me too.)

Actual worst part of writing: Getting started, feeling like you have a picture in your mind but what you write comes out as poo, worrying if it’s Bad Actually and you don’t realise

How do you choose your titles: Lately it’s been scouring the thesaurus for an hour and writing out about 50 titles before something clicks. I’ve gotten around the “summary problem” lately by doing a snippet in the description but titles are tough! The last one that didn’t suck was “This World of Trials” because I had the FFIII song “The Breeze” stuck in my head and it worked thematically so...picked a lyric

Do you outline: Not formally. I have tried this for larger projects to varying degree of success. When it comes to one shots (and right now I’m pretty much doing connected one-shots or one-shots broken into chapters for readability) I usually have scenes in mind I want to do and either figure out how they connect as I go, or dwell so long mentally that I have an idea of what’s coming as I write

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice? One abandoned WIP I don’t think I’ll return to is a cyberpunk-urban fantasy hybrid world I came up with for a McHanzo AU. Still enjoy reading about the pairing from time to time but I lost steam and haven’t picked up the game in a few years now. But maybe I’ll keep the world I made for something later?

I did have a story sorta planned for ME3 to make the Galaxy series a trilogy but the sequel, while it has scenes I love, did feel a bit of a slog at the end. Folks–and I think most of us are past this stage but just in case–it is a bad idea to put in a pairing you don’t really vibe that much with at a commenters’ request and then go back and forth with them about whether or not you are writing the character well. (Also I really had not spent enough time with Ashley to write her with confidence.)

I also had an AU idea I took a crack at where John Shepard is F!Shepard’s husband and they fell in love during the Akuze background where she saved him. Then a few years pass and she realises she has let him take all this credit for her work, thrown away a lot of her career for him, and when she is bypassed for Spectre for him...she needs some time away and takes command of a ship where she meets Garrus. But I just don’t know if I’ll write for ME again.

Callouts @ Me: Just you know *waves vaguely at how all my insecurities and need for validation can sometimes skew how I see myself as a writer* stuff. Also try to break out of the comfort zone I have found myself in with present tense and not describing enough

Best Writing Traits: I have some fun dialogue and do my best to tap into my big emotions. Also some of my metaphors and similes are cool

Spicy Tangential Opinion: I appreciate if you like my story but please do not start with “I normally don’t like OCs.”

#ally writes #writing memes

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lunar-rose-academy · 4 years

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How 2 RP - Part 1.5 (A little extra)

Hey everyone! Masao here~ Welcome to part 1.5, a little extra for you all, where i interview a experienced RPer, who shares their story, and give their own tips for RP. I thought it would be nice to hear from someone that has more experience then i do.

Today, we talk with:

@captainkurosolaire

A very good friend of mine who was actually one of my very first RP friends back in the days of Heavensward. Kuro was one of the first groups i joined, called Goldbrand. A pirate group that mostly focused on hunting Relics and the like. I learned a lot about RP from him, and made me really enjoy writing stories. He is also a very awesome dude and very humble. I hope our little interview helps you get motivated to RP, and to set that first step into the fantastic world of FFXIV!

My first question for Kuro was:

When you started RP, how did you start? Did you have a lot of help? Kuro: I started 6 years ago in XIV RP. I've been LARPing, I've built my own scuffed tabletop game with me and a bud, I've done WoW RP (Didn't click with me due to bad introduction to it.) As an only child, I've always had nothing but the highest of imagination's and I've always been tethered to create and build.I had tons of help. I wouldn't be here in the community without one of my ex's who drove me into it. I was a cuck. They shaped me and saw that, I was passionately nerdy about this stuff and always directed me towards this but, I was a shy bean and in a cocoon thought I’d fail or be a burden. After they parted with me for being naive and needing to harden me with heartbreak, I took a gamble for myself. Leaped in after a person named Sei took me in, I created Captain off just his glamour alone and then built off the tiny sketches with what I had in solo and overtime.Started from Gilgamesh, then went to Balmung. This was the era when Quicksands a majority of the time was filled with ERP and anything on the outskirts, were the more serious players and you had to go looking. I made a character fit and based around Quicksands and centered around the atmosphere. It felt fitting. So I went brash from being the most introvert by playing the most opposite to me. To not only challenge myself, but to force me to learn more. This overall was more productive of aiding in my conquest for building my Tabletop game, at first, it was mainly for that...Then eventually as my reputation was mainly ERP but somehow my F-list had some actual character-depth, I expanded and branched off. I was told by my Kahn'a my practical Yoshi P and lore guide. Some helpful hints and after that they practically set me up for transitioning out of just being a smut writer, even though I had a story behind each thing, I wanted to transition out. Then I met Verrine, Mishi, Thorcatte, Sun’ra, These people really put the ground-works into my story alongside Kahn'a, everywhere I turned, every person I met, they were inspirations, they were aiding me in RPing and feeling like this is my home, this is the land of the nerds and I owe them everything for letting me find this haven.Eventually another friend told me basically, why not just DM(Dungeon Master). Since I had contacts, I had the RP and creativity for it. They pointed me in that direction. Wasn't until I met my longest and really huge gratitude of an RPer in Ayla, who eventually inspired and led me into not only you. But bringing in many others who I eventually found as crew.I owe a tremendous amount to Ayla... Without a shadow of a doubt. Kahn'a too, but I could say literally, I owe everyone, four-hundred people in my head right now. From I've ever contacted or came into RP or even plotted none of their experiences have ever gone to waste. They each gave me a presence of passion. I transitioned off; led a huge DM group that was mainly done because you reached back out after I hit a downward spiral. After I left everything behind and ruined nearly all of it and lost my mojo.You rose me back like the phoenix, I eventually created a plot so massive that I could DM for like thirty individual people with the right support and people, did I fail in being a community leader or dealing with drama and involving everyone with my health and limited energy? You're damn straight. -- I failed utterly horrendously! However -- It wasn't entirety wasn't in vain, people found their little groups and pockets in that, they met their meshes. Which objectively, that's all that matters as someone who organizes those to bring people together and in.After that... I transitioned into Tumblr more after being encouraged by people like Fair-Fae from afar, to Sei. Then worked on drumming to the beats given. To every person, even the ones that are angry emoji in the background-- I love em' their passion rubs into me and it breathes of air, gives me wings better than red-bull advertises! As someone who's dealing with an inoperable and bed-ridden rare disease, I've never been or felt more alive.I owe so much to people, and it's why I've stuck around for six years now and continue to batter up against the foul. This is why, I want to raise, boost, encourage, and rally others to be shared so they find in match-making their RP partners, and despite... I know my writing style hasn't ever been everyone's flavor, I never have ever thought of ever wanting someone not to find happiness. I couldn't give up RP at this stage. My next question would be, If you could give a tip to someone who just wanted to start to get into RP, what would you say to them? Kuro: Know this. Getting into RP is a joke. It's really easy, you possess already every tool to be a tremendous RPer! Much better than I and I ever will be.

Short version: Just communicate. RP It's merely a Dance that can be positively enchanting, magical! -- I don't care what anyone says. ~ It's a partnership, you've got to find the people who keep up with pace and momentum, or blend with your style. You won't always find that and it's not a bad thing if that can't work. Some characters don't connect, some are opposite but they can still work. That's because it requires, one additional thing that requires: a pillar of effort. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed. Looking from the outside this game I've heard and seen, It's intimidatingly daunting. It's a lot to get into. Though this game? It's unoriginal. There isn't anything you can't create in this game, you have science, you've got alchemy, you've got magic. This game is literally called Fantasy in the title, this game has yanked and pulled off all the foundations of RL concepts, other fantasy tropes, religions, and renamed them and splashes over paint. You can do the same... Anything can be explained, I don't care what it is. People are fundamentally not grown as the exact same, I'm not personally here to be a clone trooper. Now If I want to play that, I can even do that respectively.* Look around the game visually, see if you think it can be done with the setting and place, build yourself something anything, you've got a whole box of legos don’t step on them. It’s proven constantly your creativity can be endless the more you play over time, or invest, put yourself out there. Go look into some guides, pull from a book, or google anything you’re thinking about. Again: People have styles they're different. You may appeal to being an NPC, you may like to be extended into Lore, you may not like all the fantasy, that's more than reasonable, it's all valid... There are people that feel you, they're waiting for YOU. Then you'll find people who are open-minded, you'll find people like me, I was in RP's with aliens, voidsents, normal people, WoL, like I've witnessed a lot. Listen to them, let them explain, and most often they fit. If you're too close-minded to accept then you don't need to worry you’ve already decided they’re not you, or your taste, leave them to their devices let them have their happiness, and go back to the scour. Don’t try harassing or bothering something that’s not there or ever will work. Wastes time and misery and drama isn’t worth unless it’s within stories, trust me. See for me... I’ve seen it all. People saying aetherfeeders and vampires didn't exist they cried on the forums and held a tantrum you had people say for years -- then boom RDM storyline and Stormblood came out debunked. Submarines weren’t things prior to SB despite we’ve got Garlean’s over here casually making Gundam’s. Their careers are over they played themselves -- this game is still continuing and always will if you're waiting for official confirmation from a -book- then you're going to be miserable, you're living off the backbone of a book meant to 'guide' and be resourceful in extension not to weaponize it and be a prick to people who don’t follow strictly the same ethic as you’ve so randomly chosen for yourself in standards, I hate to burst bubbles, but you’re never going to be 100% accurate, never ever. You didn’t create this game -- or it, therefore you can’t be anything but a replicator you’re just stuck either limiting your pieces or taking from an entire tub of building material. You aren't playing the book, you're playing the game. That's the real cannon, you literally visually see everything that's going to happen, you can bend it with predictions and logistical math. See XIV, they bend-over concepts of the real and made them fit or pried. I don't just bend lore… I bend it over. Why would there ever be anything that cannot be created? It's just how you interpret it, there are lazy ways to explain things, then there are thorough and detailed methods to get to the same realization of what you want to create that'll work and fit like puzzles to slots this story could’ve foretold. If done correctly more often then not XIV will follow suit in the same thing an expansion later if you stick to your wings, I’ve done it numerous times it feels like XIV has followed copied my test and then tried not to make it look obvious its because stories we’ve brazenly written together in deep-thinking. When my character is tagged IC that's it. Everything he witnesses or sees, I'm not refuting it. That's my chosen though, I see Quicksands and there's no way that place on my Balmung Shard and experiences is it clean, is it lead properly, or the official’s high representatives who totally are just fine with letting a Voidsent blow up the city-state. My character witnessed that, it’s set in stone. Though that's the option and you should always find what makes you comfortable, who makes you comfortable and consider that above all else. Often or not, everyone uses RP as an escape just as they play games. Don't sacrifice, don't lose yourself or not give self-love for what makes you passionate, don’t neglect yourself in taking control of being empowered and attaining friendships, fun, or treating yourself to something new to possibly take something lovely out of finding RP can be and make it all positive for yourself. Myself? I’m inspired by every person new and old who’s been in this game. I love it, do I bleed for it as my canvas? By the Twelve you know it! I’m only ever going to write stories and continue to build and grow, to learn. To do anything to give back. When a passion gives you life, you show that thankfulness by blazing that flame. My last question would be: Is there anything else you wanted to add or say to people? Kuro: Nope. Rest boils to the decisions you pave yourself and if you want to take the plunge. Just know you're worthy, valid, and this place isn't and never will be one batch or selective, It’s not too late ever there’s no expiration to get into RP, there’s a reason RP last longer than the lifespan of the game’s even when they’ve hit the lowest of lows in dry content, there’s always been unity. If there's one thing this community does well it’s looking after one another.And If they fail to deliver. I know there are people like me who'd rather raise up then pound down.You got this, champs. And that was my interview with Kuro. Looking at his answers, there is a lot that i can agree with. The community of FFXIV is a very great one. If one person is down or needs help, the FFXIV community is the first one to jump up and help with what they can. Hence, its why i made this! To help you, reading this. Just remember, that there are always people out there that are willing to help you. And a person such as Kuro, and of course, myself, will do whatever we can to help those in need. Thank you all so much for the support, and i hope you all have a good day. Also! If you are a RPer, and you would like to be interviewed too, let me know! Send me a message over here on Tumblr, or add me on discord: Masao#2913. And feel free to ask anything related to RP, or even FFXIV. Hope you all are looking forward to the next one~

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introvertguide · 4 years

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King Kong (1933); AFI #41

The latest movie for review was the one and only creature feature on the AFI top 100 list, the iconic Kong Kong (1933). This was the equivalent of a blockbuster for the time as it was first presented at Radio City Music Hall for 4 days and all shows were sold out. The film incorporated layering technology that had never been utilized before, which I assume made the experience of watching in a 9,000 attendance capacity crowd on a 30 foot screen an amazing experience. The film did not win any awards, but has since been recognized as a defining film for special effects in Old Hollywood. I was able to track down a version of the movie with commentary by Ray Harryhausen and I want to discuss what was revealed about the film production, but we should do a quick summary of the film first. I will not go into too much detail since the film has been remade three times now and most everybody knows the story, but I still need to do the standard...

SPOILER WARNING!!!! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE PLOT OF A MOVIE THAT IS 90 YEARS OLD AND HAS BEEN REMADE TWICE!!! IT WON’T EVEN BE THAT IN DEPTH, BUT I GET IN TROUBLE IF I DON’T SAY SOMETHING ABOUT SPOILERS!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

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The film starts out with a movie director named Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) who is looking to discover an actress. He has a map to a secret island and he wants to shoot a film there. He hired a ship with a crew and his producer has secured a camera, but an actress is still needed. Denham scours the streets looking for a pretty new face that is desperate enough to not ask questions. He quickly discovers Ann Darrow (Fay Wray) as she is trying to steal an apple from an apple cart. He pays for her, gives her some food, and whisks her away on the boat.

On the ship, it is revealed that only Denham knows where they are going. He has a hand drawn map to a place called Skull Island where there is a giant wall that contains a world of monsters. Ann Darrow falls in love with the first mate, Jack Driscoll (Bruce Cabot), by the time boat makes it to the island. A large group goes ashore and they run into natives in front of a huge wall with a giant door. There seemed to be some sort of ceremony involving the sacrifice of a young girl, but that changes when the natives see Ann and they want to take her for their ceremony. The group from the boat decides it is a good idea to get off the island, so they row back to the ship. In the night, a group of natives spirit away Ann and her absence is quickly noticed.

Fires and celebration light up the sky and the crew figures out that the natives stole their actress. The tribe is then shown opening up the giant door, tying Ann to some rocks inside the enclosure, closing the doors leaving her alone, and then hitting a gong to summon the beast. The sailors all run up on the natives right as Kong appears and takes away Ann. The group including Denham and Driscoll open the door and half the group chases after Kong deep into the enclosure.

All of the men who go inside are slowly picked off by either Kong or dinosaurs that live in the enclosure, which turns out to be somewhat of a Jurassic jungle. Kong has to constantly fight off beasts that want to steal Ann from him including an allosaur, pterodactyls, and what appears to be the Loch Ness monster. With the constant barrage of predators, the chase team of sailors is whittled down to just Driscoll and Denham. Denham goes back to the gate and Driscoll goes after Ann. During one of Kong’s monster distractions, Driscoll is able to steal Ann and they flee back to the gate with Kong following behind. Everyone gets out of the enclosure successfully, but Kong is so mad he breaks down the gate and wreaks havoc on the native village killing many. Our three main characters and a few of the sailors that stayed behind to guard the gate run back to the boats with Kong following, but Denham is able to throw a gas bomb in the face of the giant gorilla and he is subdued.

The beginning of Act 3 has the hardest cut between settings of any movie I have ever seen, yet it makes sense in the movie. Kong is somehow transferred to New York from Skull Island where the beast is chained up. Time has passed (I am not sure how much) but the giant ape will be revealed to the public at Radio City Music Hall. Denham has made $10,000 in one night in ticket sales to see the beast and gotten ahold of the press to document the occasion. It turns out that Driscoll and Ann are about to be married as well. All of this is neither shown nor explained outside of about 1 minute of dialogue. Anyway, back to the film...

Kong is being displayed for the public and Driscoll and Ann are dressed in their best that Denham has bought for them. The couple are introduced on stage and then the press is brought in to take pictures of the beast. Kong becomes so enraged by all of the flashing that he breaks his bonds and escapes. He is somehow able to get out into the streets where he stomps on people and destroys an elevated train. Ann and Driscoll escape and hide in a hotel which Kong is able to find. He does pick a lady out of the wrong room initially and he just drops her to her death. Second attempt gets a jackpot and Driscoll basically faints while a giant hand steals Ann.

After some more destruction, Kong takes Ann and climbs the Empire State Building. They get to the top and planes are sent in to shoot Kong off the building. Eventually he falls and dies on impact. Ann and Driscoll are OK and Denham walks out of the crowd to see the body of Kong at the base of the giant building. The movie ends with Denham saying the famous line. “Twas beauty that killed the beast.”

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First, let me say what an absolute treat it was to watch this film with the commentary from the great Ray Harryhausen. That man is a class act with so much great insight into film making during the Golden Age of Hollywood. He was apparently 13 when the movie was released and he saw it in theaters on many occasions. The work of special effects director Willis O’Brien and producer Merian Cooper in King Kong influenced Harryhausen when he made The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, Jason and the Argonauts, and Clash of the Titans. The special effects in these films then influenced a huge list of great directors like James Cameron, Guillermo Del Toro, Tim Burton, Peter Jackson, J.J. Abrams, Wes Anderson, and George Lucas. I learned so much about the connection between King Kong and my favorite movies, it was just a great watch.

King Kong was actually made in three different sizes and there were multiple models of each. One giant gorilla head, which was manned by three men, with a single giant foot and a single arm with a hand, were made for the close up interaction shots with the actors. The fingers and toes on the full sized limbs had to be moved by hand (many very strong hands presumably) so there is no movement from the digits in these shots. A bunch of 2 foot wire framed puppets of Kong were made that could interact with the dinosaurs and the buildings around New York. Finally, a couple of six inch puppets were made to superimpose onto stock shots of the Empire State Building for the famous ending shots of Kong climbing the giant building..

Almost every shot in the film that didn’t involve a simple human interaction was created through layered shots. All the shots of the island, any shots of King Kong or any monsters, many shots of the jungle, and many shots of King Kong interacting in New York. The use of matte paintings in the far background with paintings on glass in front of those made all the shots seem deep and lush. In front of these were layered the stop motion puppets of Kong and the monsters and at the very front were humans and directly interactive props (cars, plants, huts, etc.). I never realized how much work went into every single shot of this film and I can see why it is so famous.

Another note is the direct influence on some of the most famous films of all time. The approach of King Kong started with sounds, went on to the effect of the great apes weight hitting the ground, and ended with the giant figure coming out from the trees. This method of introducing a monster has been highly copied, most notably the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.

The film was somewhat risque at the time and some of the film was cut on first release. Kong biting people and squashing natives was not originally included. There was a scene in which Fay Wray fell into water in her ripped white dress and that was not included. Also, Kong picks up a lady from the hotel that Ann is in and promptly drops her (she wasn’t blond so she has to go), which was harsh enough to be cut from the original release. None of this seems that bad today, but there were no restrictions on film in 1933 and studios didn’t know what would upset audiences.

One thing that struck me as funny while watching (and the commentators noted this as well) was how every character immediately loved and was willing to die for this blond white lady. Denham just found her on the street and the entire crew didn’t think she should be on board for about 3 minutes, then suddenly Driscoll loved her and the entire crew was willing to die horribly to save her. The natives took one look at her and thought she would make a better sacrifice then the young girl they had. Kong was willing to fight off all forms of monster to protect her. I thought he might have simply wanted a companion, but he tossed that other poor woman from the New York hotel down off a building. At the end, men shot the ape off the Empire State Building sending bullet spray everywhere in an effort to save the girl. I honestly don’t think she was worth it, but that is just one man’s opinion.

So is this film worthy of being on the AFI List? Absolutely yes. It does not have great acting, but the contribution to American cinema through the effects, the story, and the pure ambition is well worth a spot on the list. Would I recommend it? Across the board yes with no hesitation. I especially recommend watching with the commentary, if that is your thing, because watching this film and listening to Ray Harryhausen tell stories is an absolute treat. Definitely one of the best film watching experiences I have ever had.

#King Kong #1930s #black and white #american cinema #AFI list #special effects #stop motion #miniatures #introvert #introverts #classic film #ray harryhausen #commentary #dinosaurs

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wickedwclves · 4 years

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Rant about being a YA writer ahead

I have been writing novels since I was in 7th grade. Obviously, they haven’t been good because, well, it was seventh grade. Over time, things have gotten better and whatnot. I’ve learned to save all my energy into making a professional voice and my grammar, spelling, etc. clear for when I’m writing and keeping a loose and relaxed voice when I’m doing other things, such as writing on Tumblr.

That being said, I’m very, very afraid to publish because of the YA publication “culture police” going out and tearing up new authors. If you need an example of a debut book given glowing reviews that was shortly torn down, given a 1.71 Goodreads review due to an organized ambush of YA culture police, and had the author condemned as a Nazi Sympathizer due to the writing, please reference The Black Witch. (Yes, the writing was insensitive and sometimes offensive, but if you want to see on how a mob was formed to try and tear down a career instead of changing the author’s mind, I highly recommend reading the article. I didn’t read the novel and will not comment on the entirety of the writing until I do so, so I will leave my comments at that.)

So, in short, I need some advice. Or I need someone to tell me I’m not going crazy. I want to publish my book. I’m excited to publish it. I’m not excited to face the culture police because of the following:

(I understand not everyone will like what you write. Not everyone jives with the plot or enjoys the characters. This is about cancel culture mobs tearing apart books without reading them because they don’t hit certain check marks and when they try to hit the boxes, the authors are ostracized)

Culture: We support creative arts! We love to see people’s ideas get expressed and new stories be made!

Me: Fantastic! I’m so happy I have your support! So, I should publish my work, right?

Culture: Well, we really want to see more LGBT+, POC, disabled, and other underrepresented people (URP) in all aspects of writing. You’re one of those, right?

Me: No, I’m a straight, white woman who who has no disabilities. But I still want to have representation in my novels because I believe that strength comes from everyone, not just a copy and paste of a singular character type. Is that still okay?

Culture: Eh...not really. You’re not an LGBT+ person, POC, disabled, or other URP so you really have no business writing those people.

Me: I understand that, so what if I talk to people in those groups about how I can better write their culture or people’s experience? I want them to feel included, but mostly, to feel included realistically. Can’t I get people’s opinions and views so that I can write them in and create a character that’s better representation of the people?

Culture: You swine! How dare you! You’re taking away their voices and claiming them as your own! How dare a straight, white woman claim to know the struggles of these people!

Me: Okay, okay, so I create a character that I can write with my own voice and so that I’m not overstepping my bounds. What if I make these side characters URP? Now, I have my plot already worked out that character A is the protagonist and they’re straight and white so that I’m writing with my own experience and I’m not possibly stepping on people’s toes... character B and C are side characters and well, to move the plot forward, I need character C to die...

Culture: Protagonists are ALWAYS straight and white. Change it up.

Me: Okay, it’s already pretty much established that I can’t possibly do that without putting myself deep into the danger zone of slipping up/telling other people’s stories inappropriately/labelled as xenophobic, racist, sexist, etc. How about we make the character female and she has autonomy and gets to be strong and make powerful decisions? She has men she’s friends with though...

Culture: WRONG. The only way she can redeem herself is if she proves herself to be superior to the men. She can’t be saved by men, either. Maybe if they’re URP, that’s a bit better.

Me: But it’s okay to have independence but to also be saved by others! She can be saved by a guy and she can also be saved by herself! The point is that no person is an island! There’s not supposed to be one savior of the story. It’s full of different backgrounds and experience, which is what makes it great! Like this one man, who grows up different and you find out he has mental health issues but gets into trouble growing up and well, he causes a lot of destruction and becomes the villain later on. Anyways, he ends up getting killed and doesn’t get a redemption arc because-

Culture: A PERSON WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND DIFFERENCES BEING MADE INTO A VILLAIN AND GETTING NO REDEMPTION?! IRREDEEMABLE. Cancel this book right now. You’re have to show people with anxiety, depression, etc. are not the villain by default because they have these issues.

Me: Now wait, you didn’t let me finish! It’s not his mental health that caused him to be a villain. As someone with anxiety, depression, and a family tree that has practically every well-known disorder to date, I’d take special care to make sure it doesn’t come off like that. It’s just because he wasn’t given access to resources and-

Culture: You obviously don’t understand what you’re talking about. Let’s assemble a mob to stop this train wreck before it can see the light of day. Thanks to us culture police, we’ve wrecked any potential of you getting a publishing contract, a chance at explaining yourself, and have completely scoured what you love to do. We’ve obviously changed your mind and made you a better person! Yay us!

I’ve read a lot about the truly problematic authors v. authors that had their names scoured because people didn’t look beyond their favorite characters getting killed/something that rubbed them the wrong way and this is the general ideas that I’m getting from the scathing critiques I’ve seen. After reading about he terrible mobs that have wrecked any possible new up-and-comers with their debut novels, and made YA writing something to be avoided at all costs, I’m very honestly afraid to publish my novel or take the steps in that direction.

Someone please tell me...what am I to do to get over all these barriers? Am I just missing something big here? I’m so confused and so disheartened.

#ya writing #writing #sorry for the rant #this is just been getting on my nerves and makes me v upset #and also v disheartened #i love my friends of all genders races sexualities and backgrounds #i love writing #more than anything else #but I don't want to be afraid to write anymore #and I don't want to be afraid of the YA mobs #but here we are #whataya gonna do #:/

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four-swords-dub · 6 years

Audio

Next up we have our Green bean blooper machine! Riley! (Karen: Riley couldn’t record his answers so I’ve included one of my fav lines of his) Name: rockriled Character(s) you voice: Green Link, Deku Scrub #2, Sound Director/Editor of the FS Dub Project Are you in any way like those characters? I think we’re similar in terms of wanting to help/protect the people we love. As for Green’s personality…probably not? Green is confident, independent, and hardworking while I’m a bag of nerves and anxiety. I could fit into the hardworking area, though. As for the Deku Scrub…we’re both short, squeaky, and flammable? (I’m probably not gonna refer to the Deku Scrub for the rest of this since they only got…four lines, I think?)

Favourite/least favourite thing about voicing your character? My favorite thing about voicing Green is that I can just let loose. I don’t talk much outside of the project due to shyness and how most of my friends live a long ways away, but when I play Green, I can feel powerful and confident even if it’s just for a few minutes.Least favorite thing about voicing Green is that depending on the chapter, he has the most lines. I blame this on my lack of voice-acting experience, but both actor-me and sound-editor-me look through the script and think “dangit, Green, stop hogging the spotlight and let someone else speak!” Which characters did you audition for? I auditioned for Vio first, but I got nervous that auditioning for only one role was rude. I figured I wasn’t cute enough for Red or tough enough for Blue, so I went with Green. How did you react when you got the part(s)? Hoo boy, um…settle in, this is a bit of a story.My self-esteem has always been in the pits—and combining that with my perfectionist needs didn’t help, either. Whenever something cool came up, my brain would go “why bother, you’re gonna fail” and I’d do just that: give up without trying.So when posts about the Four Swords Dub Project started floating around, the same thing happened all over again. Best way I can describe it… Brain: “Don’t even try it. You know you’re not gonna get a part.” Me: “But it’s Four Swords, my favorite part of the Zelda manga series.” Brain: “And? Your voice sucks. Your acting sucks. You won’t even get a minor role. Do you really want to add another failure to your life?” Me: “…look. I’m really interested in this. I don’t know if I’ll actually get a part, but I still want to send in an audition so I can say that I tried.” Brain: “…two main characters? Really? Don’t get your hopes up.”(some time later) FS Dub Email: “Congratulations, you’re going to be our Green Link!” Me & Brain: “WAIT, WHAT?!” It was a total shock. I was so convinced I wasn’t going to get in that it never occurred to me that I could get in. Heck, it’s been a little over two years and I still can’t believe I got a leading role. As for the part of Sound Director/Editor…I can’t remember how, but I somehow got a hold of all the voice lines for all the characters in Chapter 1-1. Even though I have zero experience in editing, I suddenly got curious and started mixing the files with background music and sound effects. I sent a copy of what I put together to Karen (our voice and project director) for fun. Next thing I knew, I was the BGM/SFX guy for the rest of the project! Long story short: this dub’s been full of surprises. ^_^ Who do you wish you could voice? Oof, that’s a tough one. @_@ It’s so hard to pick because everyone’s already perfect as their current roles... Had you read the manga before taking part in the dub? Yep! :D It was around the time the internet became a big thing and when YouTube was first made. Middle-school me spent HOURS scouring Google for Yu-Gi-Oh! content (fell in love with the show in sixth grade) when I stumbled across a website with Legend of Zelda comics It had the manga versions of Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, the Oracle games, and—my top favorite—Four Swords.

FS holds a special place in my heart for not only giving the Links such diverse eyes/expressions, but destroying typical color-personality associations. I’d seen fan-comics of Four Swords with Red as the angry one, Blue as the smart one, and Purple as the newbie or the…um…stereotypically-gay one. Akira Himekawa’s version of the Links blew my freaking mind and I LOVED IT. <3 Any past voice acting experience? At best, the only voice-acting experience I had prior to the FS dub was watching tons of anime and re-enacting scenes via talking to myself. I still do this with anime, TV shows, movies, books, and video games. @_@ I’m not sure if this counts, but I…kinda got voice training in other areas? I yelled my lungs out in Tae Kwon Do for two years, sang alto in a chorus for three years, was moved to soprano for one year, yelled my lungs out again in Judo for one year, and learned classical/opera singing techniques for a few months (a friend’s friend was studying to be a music teacher and they needed a volunteer to practice their teaching skills). They might not count for this question, though… Who is your favourite FS character (if any)? Oh boy...I know younger-me’s favorite was Vio (I blame the eyes and ability to side with both Shadow and the other Links), but these days? It’s hard to pick, thanks to the dub. @_@ How do you warm up/get in character before recording? Big thing for me is how I’m feeling. Currently, I work six days a week (it sucks but I need the money/insurance DX) and I use the commute from work to where I live to figure out my mood. If I’m down in the dumps to the point that music can’t help, I won’t be able to deliver as Green. If I have some energy or so much energy that I can belt/rap to my music, I’m all set. It means I’m all loose and confident to record. As for days when I don’t have work like days-off or holidays, I try to relax and get myself in a Green-y mindset.

Little something I picked up from YouTube is gargling a mouthful of water. I’m not too sure how it works, but I do this right before a recording session and it helps a lot. Favourite chapter to voice so far? Favourite scene? Um…it’s kinda hard to pick a favorite chapter or scene I liked voicing since I had fun with all of them. Can I make this into favorite scene/chapter to do sound stuff for instead? And can I pick multiples instead? >_>;; Favorite Chapter for Sound Editing: Chapter 4. I had to compile different sounds that reflected Green’s desert, Blue’s snowstorm, Red’s forest fire, and Vio’s night in the woods. It was both challenging and fun. :D Favorite Scene for Sound Editing: Every comedic scene, scenes where the background music slowed to a halt, and scenes where I had to improvise sound effects.

The slowed-down songs are in the scenes where Blue and Green fight on the boat, and when Red admits he lost his weapons to Blue in the Ice Cave. Those were tough to do in Audacity (had to slow down the music piece by piece), but it was SO worth it.

As for scenes where I had to use nearby stuff for sounds…there’s a bunch of ‘em.

The door slamming while Erune talks about the missing children = me slamming my bedroom door.

The Gerudo Masseuse’ movements and the Gerudo Elder’s staff = me shaking my wrist while wearing my old belly-dance bracelets.

Deku Scrubs popping out of the ground = me smacking my lips mixed with the deku sound effect from Ocarina of Time.

Green’s sword hitting the labyrinth wall = me hitting a pot lid with a wooden spoon.

Green falling and sliding down the labyrinth wall = me falling and sliding down a bedroom wall.

Eerie shadow raising their sword to attack Green as the moon rises = me sliding a knife sharpener over a kitchen knife.

Shadow walking on clouds = me blowing into the mic mixed with footstep sounds from Ocarina of Time.

Big Poe screaming at Red and Blue = me banging pots, pans, and piano keys mixed with chaotic sound effects I found online.

Big Poe taking Blue’s soul = me breathing into the mic along with heavy editing.

Red clapping at Big Poe = me clapping my hands.

The Four Swords pulsing = me playing a four-note harmony (one for each Link) on the piano mixed with heavy editing and a wind chime effect.

(Karen: This guy is a genius when it comes to sound effects and the dub wouldn’t be half as good without him!)

Lines you dread voicing the most (screaming, crying, etc): As much as I love battle cries, my microphone and its inconvenient ability to make stuff clip bothers me.

And even though the chapter’s long gone, the part where Green remembers when he playing with Zelda as a toddler. I’M NEVER VOICING SMALL CHILDREN AGAIN. DX

What are your biggest worries when it comes to voicing your character? *pulls in with a giant dump truck* um…

#1 – Is my voice too high or too low? Green’s age would be around early teens or so, and with my weird vocal range, I can’t tell if I make him sound younger or older than he is. #2 – Am I getting the personality right? Because of my shy-as-hell nature, it’s hard for me to pick up if my confident-Green-persona sounds genuine or fake. #3 – Is it bad that I can only voice Green with my natural voice? Many voice actors have a HUGE variety of voices they can do (ex. Tara Strong). It’s likely because I’m still new to this, but part of me gets nervous that me voicing Green with my normal speaking voice is a sign that I lack voice acting talent. #4 – (Personal worry but it still bothers me sometimes) How will I sound as Green in the future? I’m a pre-HRT transmale who hates how high his voice is. This year, I’ll be moving out and if I play my cards right, I can start the process to either get testosterone, top surgery, or both. I love this dub to death, but after voicing Green in my non-HRT voice for so long, I get nervous that I could accidentally lower the quality of the dub if my voice changes if/when I start HRT (assuming the editing process for videos will be the same as it’s been). (Karen: i figure I should add this since people might be wondering how we’re going to handle it. As Green is right now I feel his voice wouldn’t hurt if it went a little deeper. However, if Riley’s voice becomes too deep, I’m going to edit the pitch of his lines. Don’t worry Riley, you aren’t going anywhere!) #5 – Do I make too many bloopers? During recording, I either screw up or my mind wanders a lot, and I save ‘em for the blooper reel. When the reel comes out, however, I’ll sometimes see my segment is a little longer than everyone else’s and I get nervous. ESPECIALLY if Green only had two lines and I had nearly an extra 30 seconds worth of bloopers. Would you date your character (if they were of age)?I’m gonna sound horrible, but…I don’t think Green’s personality would stand out enough to me as a possible date. If anything, I think we’d just end up being a weird duo of friends: the strong, confident soldier and the socially-awkward weirdo. *laughs*

Do you have a favourite voice actor on the dub?I don’t have a favorite voice actor, but I do have favorite lines/sounds from some of the cast (this is likely to change as more chapters are released). The way the VAs say these lines, I LOVE ‘EM. For now, I’m only going to list a few of them so this Q&A doesn’t go too long.

Favorite Carrottheluvmachine/Red line: “Oh! And it [footprint] looks like mine!” Favorite Ashe/Blue line: “so that’s how you want to do this, huh?!” Favorite Swiss/Vio line: “Losing confidence? …it’s because I’m you too, remember?” Favorite Kaenith/Shadow line: “Shadow saying “you’re a creature of darkness now, don’t forget that.”

Asked by Anon: Riley, how do you come up with so many awesome bloopers? Aww, thank you. ^///^ Most of them are accidental, like me not saying a word correctly. Others happen when I try and fail to memorize the script: if I’m struggling with a line, I’ll have a physical copy of the manga and match Green’s facial expression. This helps me get into the mindset, but it does draw my attention away from the script and I’ll end up flubbing a line because I tried to say it off the top of my head.

The mistakes where I either notice something weird either pop up on the fly or something I noticed a while back, and then suddenly remember during recording. The part where I noticed the Four Sword “thrumming” happened when I couldn’t get Green’s “the four sword is pulsing!” line right and I had to keep looking at the manga for the proper face. It was at that point I noticed the weird sound effect drawn in. Also, the blooper where I sang a song from The Heathers as Green flees the Eerie Shadow? That was in my head long before the script for Chapter 5 was out and when the time came to record, I remembered that bit.

Asked by Anon What was the funniest/most humorous line you guys have had to say? Not sure if this counts, but Kaenith had a blooper where they screwed up as Shadow, saying “you’re pretty—UM PRETTY SMART!” They shared it with the staff and it was so funny, Swiss made a joke response as Vio going “I prefer handsome.” I was given the two lines to put together and as a joke, I added some audio of a guy screaming “MAKE OUT!”

The staff liked it so much, they asked me to add Green shouting “NOW KISS!” It took a while to get perfectly, but I had SO much fun with it. ^_^

#legend of zelda #four swords #green link #manga #zelda #askthecast

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u2shops · 4 years

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Baby Showers Revealed

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littleartistthoughts · 4 years

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Romeo x Juliet

Sooo. Sometime during my middle school years, I was on the AMV side of YouTube. I stumbled across an AMV of the anime, Romeo x Juliet, to the background song: “Romeo and Juliet.” Out of curiosity, I searched up the anime, and I found it on YouTube. I think I watched the final scenes of the last episode first, without any context. I guess I was interested enough to start from the beginning.

And I became obsessed. By obsessed, I mean, seriously, seriously, obsessed. I fell in love with everything -- the main characters, the music, the world. The romance was touching, the story was impacting, and it was just perfect. I cried sooo hard. It became one of those things that touched me so much to the point I thought about it for weeks and weeks. I searched up AMV’s and fanart and scoured the Wikipedia page over and over, so eager to have more.

I even tried to burn the entire series on DVD because I wanted to watch it whenever I wanted (so I had to learn how to burn a DVD, though I don’t think I ever actually succeeded). Eventually, though, by some luck, I found the DVD at Best Buy, and my dad bought it for me.

I shared it with my friends. I sent them all home to watch it, and I felt overjoyed when they came back to school the next day saying they binged it and cried and loved it. We became something of a fan club. Lol.

Then time went on and I thought of it less and less, though I was always fond of the memory of watching it. I remembered it as a sad, beautiful anime that I loved so much. Actually, it impacted me so much that I’m borrowing some elements of the story for my own works. To this day, I reference the show when I’m wondering about the design of my own fantasy universes.

These days, I’m slowly molding my Sol Verynda universe. I’ve been doing that for about four years now. I keep changing things or developing them further. Sometimes, I run out of inspiration. I’m still dragging details out of the world where I can find them. Sometimes you just need a giant push.

I don’t remember the reason, but sometime during this past week or the last, Romeo x Juliet popped into my mind. I think I was just reminiscing the story. And then I decided to just watch it. You know. For the heck of it.

So for the first time in a very, very long time, I watched the series.

I’m a lot older now and more mature than I was in middle school, which means there’s a lot more that I can understand now. That means I’m also a lot more cynical now. And critical. And the devil’s always on my shoulder. Plus this raging depression that just won’t go away is in my mind. So I re-watched the anime through a different lens.

Still me, but a different version.

I watched the series over the course of a few days (busy with school and work). I decided to watch it in Dub because that’s the original way I watched it, and I wanted to recapture that feeling I got when I watched before. Even though my sister gave me such a hard time about it. Like, seriously. She came into my room and slapped my phone out of my hands because she was so disgusted. I retaliated.

I like the Dub also because the script is so lovely in English. They incorporate some Shakespearian speak (I learned later that it’s really called iambic pentameter). So the characters sometimes speak like it’s the 14th or something century, and it’s pleasant to hear. I also just really like hearing them speak poetically in an American accent.

Buuuut, I caved out of curiosity. I searched the Subbed version on YouTube and watched a few minutes of the first episode, just to see the difference. And, well. I get it. The show was made specifically for Japanese, and so that version is actually very fitting. Buuut, I still continued on with the dub. I’m thinking now, though, that I’m going to rewatch the show in the Subbed version sometime soon. It’ll be like seeing the story again, but with a different feel. So, yeah.

Anywayyyy, so the story. The show takes liberties with the adaptation. I’ve never read the original play, but we all know how it goes. And I think I watched Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio, so I had an idea. In the original, Romeo belongs to the Montague family and Juliet belongs to the Capulets. Their families hate each other, but they fall in love anyway. After a string of events, Romeo and Juliet die together, and the family conflict is resolved by this tragedy.

In the anime, Romeo’s father, Leontes Montague, murders every member of the Capulet family so he can take over the city, Neo Verona, as ruler. Only Juliet, who was rescued by her family’s loyalists, escapes. She’s two years old. Fourteen years later, Montague is the tyrannical king of the city, and Juliet is forced into hiding. She disguises herself as a boy, named Odin, though she was never told the reason why she had to do so.

Montague is on the hunt to find her. In his tyranny, he allows his guards to torment the citizens. And so Juliet, disguised as a man, takes on the persona of the Red Whirlwind to defend the people.

Eventually, Juliet winds up at the palace, dressed as a girl, for the Rose Ball. And she and Romeo meet. And it’s a love at first sight moment.

Later, Juliet finally learns of her heritage, and her world becomes chaotic.

One thing I didn’t realize when I was younger was just how much of a sweetheart Romeo is. He lived a rough life in the palace. His father was emotionally and physically abusive. His mother left him to join a convent (though she deeply regretted leaving him). He was alone at the palace except for his best friend, Benvolio, and his Dragon Steed (basically, flying pegasus), Cielo. Despite that, he had a big heart. He was nothing like his father. He genuinely was a good person.

And Juliet just deserved so much better. The girl could never catch a break. She and Romeo had similar temperaments. She was really sweet and considerate with a good, forgiving heart. But she was also this badass swordsman secret vigilante who was a fearless leader and fought for justice. We see her character develop over the course of the series. She slowly matures after all her mistakes. And in the end she’s the one to save the world.

The love shared between these two is really the driving force of the story. It’s the reason the two fought so hard to create a world of love instead of hatred. Instead of revenge, Juliet’s focus was on freedom and happiness. Without Romeo, she might have actually killed Montague and gone with the route of hatred.

The series did get a little cheesy and naive sometimes, I felt while watching. That’s the cynical adult in me. However, the show doesn’t hesitate to admit that. For example, when Romeo’s trying to motivate a group of exiles to cultivate a dead land, his words do seem childish and idealistic. And several inmates point that out. But they do eventually try.

I don’t know. To me, it’s a reminder that the idealism of children is so powerful. Adults don’t have that same spirit. A lot of us are always worried about the bad outcomes of things. We’re always tired. We’re so used to seeing bad things that we become cynical. But kids aren’t so used to it yet, so they still have these grand hopes.

It can be a disadvantage, of course, such as when Juliet jumped into an opportunity out of her naivety, just to see her loyalists fall.

But, still. We get characters like William (a caricature of Shakespeare himself), who is so childish and idealistic and perpetually inspired.

When I was in middle school, I hadn’t yet experienced a real relationship. So it was fun to imagine what it would be like. Watching Romeo and Juliet’s relationship blossom gave me such a warm, fluttery feeling. You know. I wanted a romance like that.

Re-watching it, post-heartbreak from my FL and other “romantic” endeavors, I view love a lot differently now. Honestly, I haven’t felt fondly about it for a long time. I’ve come to a point where I almost detest it. I detest boys and the hurt they can cause me. It’s hard to imagine myself in a good, loving, idealistic relationship again after all the guys I’ve encountered.

Well. My heart is still too broken for a new love, but I still felt my heartstrings pulled by the anime. Maybe it’s too soon to tell, but I think my opinion has shifted a bit. I forgot, really, how amazing romantic love can be. How consuming. Even when I’m not a part of it, just seeing it unfold is so precious. It makes me feel all warm and happy inside. And inspired to write.

Anyway.

One other thing that I’m really noticing now that I just didn’t before is the symbolism. That scene where Romeo asked Juliet (without knowing she was present) what flower she would prefer for a garden, she answered with a “rose.” I remember feeling confused. The entire series, the white iris was the symbol of their relationship. But why would she answer a rose?

Well. The iris is on the Capulet family crest, and the rose is on the Montague family crest. Juliet was saying she wanted him.

Also, Leontes Montague entered the family by becoming a ward, and then poisoning his way to the top. Also, his father is a Capulet, meaning Romeo and Juliet are distant cousins. Oof.

Also, I know more about art and architecture now thanks to Art History courses. So seeing all the reliefs and structures in the series was astounding. Seriously. Astounding. There’s this constant image of a goddess with angel’s wings in prayer. It appears in statues, reliefs, statuettes, paintings, etc. There was a goddess statue at the fountain where Romeo and Juliet first met.

In the end, we learned this goddess is a symbol of Escalus, the grand tree that serves as a life force to the continent.

If anything, I really really really wish there was a prequel or something that went into the history of the Capulet family and the tree of Escalus. There were so many unanswered questions. Like, why was Neo Verona floating over the sky the whole time? How? Why did Escalus keep it afloat? Why did the Capulet family have to be the one to make sacrifices? Why the girls? Who was Ophelia, really? What’s the history? When they fell from the sky, did they just rejoin the larger world? They mention Christian and Greek mythos, so how do they know about it? They say Escalus is the patron goddess of Neo Verona, so are there others?

Sadly, we might never find out. But it’s all still very interesting.

Neo Verona is a living, breathing world. It’s a fantasy world that we fall in love with.

All the side characters make us care for saving the world, and Juliet mentions this, too. She decides her sacrifice would be worth it if it meant her loved ones would get to live. And we agree, too, because we come to love all the minor characters. Every single one. Even though we don’t want her to die.

Watching it this time around, I also started to understand Montague, and admire him as a villain. He’s layered. He’s vicious. He’s ruthless. He’s a little insane. He was never loved (he says this in his final moments). His mother died when he was young. He told Romeo he deeply cared for him, which I kind of believe. In a twisted way, I believe he did love him. I believe he also loved Romeo’s mother, Portia. When he visited her, he started by saying she could have lived in luxury with him if she didn’t leave.

Montague also seemed to genuinely care for Escalus. For some reason. Maybe he didn’t want to the world to end with him in it. He seemed to be searching for a genuine solution to the problem.

Anytime Montague was on screen, he was riveting. Truly terrifying. Charming with some, like Hermoine and other lady nobility. But murderous. And a swordsman. Underneath it all, all his heinous acts, he just wanted love. In the end, he died in Juliet’s arms.

The mythos of the world was incredible as well. I’m a sucker for fantasy, and the show really runs with all my favorite things. Prophecy. Ancient things. Sacrifice. Enhanced nature.

I haven’t watched anime in a long time. Honestly, I sort of shunned it from my mind when “Asian things” became more and more shameful. Well, that thinking is shameful. Because anime is truly beautiful. It captures humans in a different way. Anime knows how to do romance. It knows how to build tension and longing, it knows how to invest the audience. Every anime I ever watched has hooked me to the romance (something American TV can’t ever do with me).

I just love the tone of anime. The wittiness, the playful scenes, the heavy moods, the characters and their attitudes. It’s all entirely distinct. I don’t know why, but it really gets you wanting. Plus the expressiveness of 2D animation that can do absolute wonders.

I’m a really big fan of Game of Thrones, don’t get me wrong, and maybe the show just butchered the story, but for a while I just wanted to make a story similar in spirit to Thrones. You know. The realism. The darkness. The unfairness.

But I forgot that you can make your own worlds with fiction. And your own rules. Life is life. It’ll always be unfair and tragically beautiful, and there are lovely stories to capture that. But then there are those stories that are an abstraction of reality, like Romeo x Juliet. Not totally realistic, but spellbinding. You’re thrown into this world, and you just want to be a part of it. For a while, you can escape the real world and join this one.

It gets one inspired about living in a different world.

So while realism is great, fiction and world-building are just so much more fun. And impactful. And creative. And magical. And fan-service isn’t a bad thing.

I cried during the final episode, once right after Romeo died, and again during the Epilogue. Everyone who lived got a happy ending, and I was so sad and happy seeing them all enjoying life. After all the darkness that they went through, they all ended up living in the bright, joyous world that Romeo and Juliet dreamed of.

That’s fucking inspiring. To the max. A little cheesy, but in a way that feels so earned and so right.

So anyway, I’m glad I decided to rewatch it. I was in my early teens when I last watched it, and now I’m 21. Oh, and the decade is ending. Seems fitting. Maybe it’ll help me set the tone for the next decade, which I hope will be one of creativity. And maybe some romance. Maybe. Maybe it’ll have that attitude.

It’s still one of my favorite stories of all time, and I’m definitely going to rewatch it again in the future. Next time will probably be soon. I have to spend some time recovering from the emotional roller coaster that I went through. Maybe next month. I’ll watch it in Sub, the way it was meant to be, I guess. And I’ll see the difference. And I’ll probably write another post about how I felt about it.

Until the next time.

#121119

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defender-of-mankind · 5 years

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Final Presentation and Write-Up

Intro to Game, Background, and Inspiration:

This is a first-person bug destroying simulator game. It’s called Defender of Mankind, and it is not influenced by any games I’ve ever played, I just thought it would be a fun game to make. Originally, this game was going to be something completely different. It was going to be more free-form, like an adventure game, but I quickly realized that making something to the scale that I was imagining in the time frame given would make it so the project wouldn’t end up the way I wanted it to. In the search for another concept, I ended up having a conversation with my dad about living in New York and how he always had cockroaches in his apartment. We both realized that it would make a pretty funny game, so I began developing on that idea more thoroughly.

Description of Prototype:

My prototype doesn’t actually differ that much from my original concept, and the only big thing that I can think of that’s different is the attack. I was originally going to have a character with arms and legs visible to the player so that the player could stomp on and hit the enemies, making it seem more realistic. However, I found the process of creating and animating the character to be very time-consuming and difficult with the little knowledge that I have about Unity and animating in the first place, so I decided to stick to a simple cross-hair in the middle of the screen and a click-to-kill function.

Another aspect of my original design document that I didn’t see fitting into this game was the idea of collectables. I originally wanted it so you could gain collectables that would increase the area of the light beam, but after going through with so much of the development, I realized that it wasn’t really plausible to include that on the basis of actually scripting it in addition to the idea of collectables not really working for the game concept.

The only other difference that didn’t really change, but I just didn’t include, is the actual background and “lore” of the game. Originally, the idea was that cockroaches are actually aliens sent to observe humanity and learn our weaknesses, and that’s why they can never die. The name of the game was based on this concept and there was going to be a final boss fight with a giant cockroach at the end that I knew wouldn’t make it into this prototype, but hopefully, as I keep developing the game and learning more, I’ll be able to get to that point.

While my prototype did hit most of the things I had planned on testing, there were actually more things that I had to add along the way in order for the game to make sense and function properly. These include the spawner system, the enemy counter system, the timer system, lots of UI, and the gameplay path (moving from the home screen to the actual game and from the game to the game over screen, etc.) to name a few.

Notable Gameplay Systems:

Probably the biggest issue that I faced with this project was the enemy movement. Obviously, I wanted it to look fairly realistic without making it over the top and having each leg or antenna move on all of the 200 enemy models, so I struggled with a lot of different ways to make the movement look realistic but simple. When I first started working on the enemy movement, I was SO hyped to even get them to move, and now looking at the project, I have come so far in literally just a week and a half of working on this system that it’s almost unbelievable. I still have to say, while I am satisfied with the enemy movement for the purpose of this prototype and the amount of time I had to develop it, I still wish there was a little more randomness to them and hopefully as I keep developing this game, that will be something that I can deal with. Overall, though, I’m really proud of how the enemy movement turned out.

Another system that gave me a lot of trouble was the spawners. I struggled for a long time with even how to get started creating the spawners for this game and went through a lot of different ideas and scripts to get to my final system. It’s still not perfect, one issue being that you still have to input the three coordinates for the actual spawn point, as I couldn’t figure out a way to link a game object’s transform position to the spawner and then be able to move the spawner and make duplicates without it messing them all up and having 200 bugs spawn from one single point (absolutely terrifying to see, by the way, even if it was only in a game). In the end, I got it to work out with only the little extra work of actually having to input the correct coordinates for each of the 12 spawners.

the one system that is essential to the game that I actually did not develop myself is the first person camera and controller. This was the first thing that I did, obviously, so I could start developing and testing the other systems, but I was so lost when I first started that I just used the first person camera controller from UNity’s standard assets package. This actually need dup saving me a TON of time and allowed me to move forward with the rest of the game that was actually part of the gameplay.

Testing:

I only had a few playtesters including my dad, sister, brother, roommates, and some coworkers. Everyone said they loved the game and were able to give me good insight into what to add and what I should explain more. This was really a crucial step towards the end of creating this prototype because after playing it myself for so long and knowing what everything did and how to make it do what I wanted it to, seeing someone else play the game allowed me to further explain what was needed and what I could take out.

Because of this, I ended up adding a text box to the game when you first start explaining that you have to defuse all the spawners and kill all the bugs. The other problem I noticed was that a lot of people skipped over the tutorial and then didn’t know the controls, but I’m not sure how to resolve that other than making the game path go from the main screen to the tutorial, but that seemed inconvenient if you already know how to play the game. In the end, I decided to leave it as is, with the tutorial as a separate path to take.

Final Touches:

After finishing basically everything on my list of things to get done, I decided to jump into something that I didn’t think I would have time for which was sound. From the beginning of this concept, I wanted to add bug sounds to make it creepier and more realistic. I found that the sound also helped as a cue so players were more aware of when enemies were spawned instead of just seeing the number of enemies go up in the corner of the screen. It was super creepy to code it all and make sure it worked, but I’m happy with how it turned out.

I also decided to add an intro screen with a brief introduction to the game. Initially, I wanted it to explain the whole concept of the world I created, but I decided to steer away from making it more complicated than it needed to be and just put 3 simple lines setting up the story and why the player is in this place. I also added more sound to this, having a skittering sound travel left and right across the canvas so that when you have headphones on it sounds like they’re moving from ear to ear. Super creepy but also sounds really cool.

After that, I cleaned up a few things, mainly making sure that the player doesn’t get stuck anywhere and moved some objects around to ensure that everything was spread out properly.

Finally, I decided to do some post-processing. This was a fun stage, and also very quick because I didn’t want to add too much and clutter the screen that already has so much going on. So I added a little bit of grain to make it creepier, some slight ambient occlusion to deepen the shadows, the smallest bit of bloom just because I wanted to see what it would do, and probably the most noticeable was the motion blur. I was actually really pleasantly surprised to see how the motion blur affected the player’s movement, making it seem jerky and almost frightened. It worked really well and I played with the settings a little bit to make sure it wasn’t overwhelming and distracting from the game.

After that, I built the game and called it done!

Conclusions:

There were so many things involved in this project that I never thought would come up, simply because I wasn’t totally aware of how the program works and what it actually takes to build a game. There were many times where I was beyond frustrated with a single line of code that just wasn’t doing what I wanted it to, but that made it so I had to take a step back and really look at the problem and think of various ways that I could solve it. Because of this, I actually learned way more than I ever thought I could learn about coding and about the Unity program in just 6 weeks.

My favorite parts of this project were creating the scene and learning a new coding language. In the past, I have taught myself how to code, mainly HTML and some basic CSS a few years ago, and I had to take MATLAB as a course last academic year, but learning C# was completely different from any language I’ve learned before. Through class time and scouring the internet for documentation and forums on why my code wasn’t working, I learned more about this language and how to make it do what I want it to do than I ever learned using MATLAB or any other language. I think the main reason for this is because I had something that I could reference back to and see if the change I made to the code actually made a difference to the game. I am a very visual learner and being able to see that my code changed part of the actual game was really cool.

Overall, I really enjoyed this project and learning so many new things that I know will apply to future projects. Having this class as the first one I take as an IDM major was a great experience and I can’t wait until I can start new projects and new classes.

Link to my Final Game Build: https://drive.google.com/open?id=18BBb_8o1MlSJ2FH2zIAfptmpwz8-s8qm

Link to Final Game Package: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1uDcZF6dnj6DQm3hac1Inb1JKUwb0craf

Link to my Final PowerPoint Presentation: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1nc1sGrmHPd98plYVTdMosV62VqggKCKA

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