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helloalycia · 1 year

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first friend [two] // yelena belova

summary: when you convince Yelena to go out with the flirty barista serving you, you begin to realise that you may actually like her yourself.

warning/s: mentions of a breakup, shitty girlfriends and the mildest of angst.

author's note: here’s the second and final part! who doesn’t love a bit of yelena? i’ve got a multi-part alicia clark imagine coming up next 🥰

part one / masterlist / wattpad

Whenever bad things happen, everybody thinks it's the worst it can be and that they'll never get out from it. And that was exactly how I felt with the whole Thomas situation. Turns out all I needed to do was share my feelings with somebody.

After Yelena discovered the truth about our break up, it became a lot easier for me to move on from it. I didn't feel like I was holding it all alone, and if I ever did feel lonelier than usual, she was always there for me to call.

I was surprised she didn't do something horribly irreversible or probably illegal to him in some form of payback, considering she was still very much pissed about the whole thing. I'd made it clear I didn't want her to, and I was very appreciative of her listening to me.

A month passed and I didn't even care for Thomas anymore. It was easy to let it all go, to an extent. I tried to focus on myself again and appreciate what I did have in my life. And one of those things was Yelena, of course.

We were out on a coffee date during our lunch break one day. It was nice to get out of the Compound, especially during the few breaks I got, and Yelena happened to be mission-free so was able to join me.

"Sorry, one second, my phone keeps vibrating," she said when we were mid-conversation.

I waited patiently, watching as she quickly flicked through her messages.

"Who is it?" I asked, before sipping my iced coffee.

She sighed, tapping away quickly before locking her phone. "Just Nat. She can't find her hoodie."

"Oh, d'you know where it is?"

"Uh-huh."

I quirked a brow. "And you told her?"

"I told her I don't know," she said casually, before slurping her fruit drink.

I tried not to laugh as I glanced at what Yelena had on. "Is it the hoodie you're wearing by any chance?"

She didn't respond, but a smile curled on her lips as she met my eyes playfully. I chuckled, shaking my head at her silliness.

"I don't know how you're so confident lying to her. When she finds out, she'll be so angry," I said.

"She doesn't scare me," she answered with a shrug.

I raised my eyebrows in disagreement. "Seriously? She's intimidating as fuck! The Black Widow!" When Yelena didn't seem to agree, I scoffed quietly. "Honestly, I probably never would have talked to her if it wasn't for you. She's scary."

Yelena snorted with amusement. "Please. Natasha is the least intimidating person ever. Even you're more intimidating than her."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Of course you're saying that. You're her sister after all."

Enthused, Yelena leaned back in her seat and eyed me curiously. "I'm now wondering what you thought of me when we first met."

"Well, I thought you would be intimidating," I began, suppressing the urge to smile, "but then you came in because of a bad mission report and started pouting like a baby when I corrected you. So, from there, I knew you were harmless."

She opened her mouth with disbelief, lifting an eyebrow. "Wow. Seriously?"

"You're a softie deep down, I know it," I said convincingly, and she tried not to smile but it was impossible.

"Whatever," she mumbled, avoiding my eyes.

I grinned at her pout and the fact that she was only proving my point. "It's true! You would do anything I ask. Soft–ie."

She scoffed under her breath, crossing her arms, only making me laugh. I knew it and she knew it, but it was okay. That was why I loved her.

"Sorry to interrupt, but are you finished with your food?" a waitress asked, stopping by our table.

"No worries, that's fine, thanks," I said to her politely.

She smiled, nodding, before stacking them and saying, "Can I get you any dessert?"

I shook my head, but Yelena bit her lip as she glanced at the dessert menu sticking out between the salt and pepper shakers.

"Hmm, maybe," she mumbled, before pulling it out to have a proper look.

I crossed my arms and leaned back in my seat, amused. Of course she'd want dessert.

"You know, the chocolate cake here is very good," the waitress recommended, leaning down slightly to point it out on the menu to her. "Or if you're not a cake person, there's pie."

"That looks pretty good actually," Yelena agreed, nodding slightly.

"Something sweet for someone sweet," the waitress flirted, glancing at Yelena with a smile.

Either oblivious or not knowing how to react, Yelena clapped her hands together and nodded. "Well, I can't say no to that. Can I get a slice of your apple pie with some ice cream, please?"

"You got it," the waitress agreed, eyes lingering on Yelena a lot longer than normal, before collecting our plates and leaving.

I raised my eyebrows, trying not to laugh, as I looked over to Yelena with disbelief. Feeling my stare, she looked up and raised her chin.

"What?" she questioned.

I glanced over at the waitress who was behind the till getting her pie, and then back at Yelena. "What? Seriously? Did you not see what I just saw?"

Confused, Yelena tilted her head. "What? The picture of the pie? It's on the menu, Y/N, of course I saw it."

I tsked, shaking my head, before giving her a knowing look. "That waitress, idiot! She was totally into you!"

Taken aback, Yelena shook her head. "Pfft, no she wasn't. You're seeing things."

I rolled my eyes. "Yelena. She was literally checking you out."

"She was taking my order, that's all," she disagreed, getting comfortable in her seat. "It was good customer service is all."

I snorted. "Okay, whatever you say."

The waitress soon returned and gave Yelena her dessert, and not without checking her out yet again. Yelena glanced at me disapprovingly when I gave her another look, but said nothing else. We chatted for a little longer, her enjoying her dessert and me finishing my drink, before my lunch break was over and I knew I had to get back.

The same waitress – whose name tag read Andrea – gave us the bill and let us split it. But just as I predicted, she wrote a little something extra on Yelena's card receipt and slid it over to her before leaving.

"It's her number," I said with amazement, laughing when I put my jacket on. "I was freakin' right! God, I'm good."

"Maybe you were," Yelena said with mild surprise, looking at the receipt, before putting it in her pocket. "Probably won't do anything with it."

I quirked a brow. "Seriously? You should talk to her. She seems nice. And she was definitely interested in you."

Yelena considered it, glancing at the till where Andrea was serving another customer.

"It's really easy," I assured her, realising she'd never dated before because of her past, and so this would all be new to her. "No pressure or anything. Just approach her and say hi. And then the rest will play out itself."

"I don't know," she said, looking back to me with disinterest.

"Yelena, go over there," I said with encouragement. "You'll be fine. Promise."

She hesitated, watching me as if searching for confirmation. When I nodded, she took a deep breath and went over to the till. I smiled as I subtly watched their conversation, too far to hear anything but it looked like it was going well. Yelena was smiling shyly which was rare with her, and Andrea seemed to be enjoying the attention, checking her out and flirtatiously touching her hand on the counter.

Without thinking much of it, my smile faded when I saw just how flirtatious she was acting. It was a little icky to witness and left an unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I think I felt... jealous? Which was stupid, because I'd literally talked Yelena into going over there and I had no reason to be. But seeing it all play out was a different story, and a small part of me wanted to yank Yelena away and forget this ever happened.

It was a momentary feeling, strange, and I tried to ignore it. She was my friend and this was the first time she was putting herself out there – I was merely being overprotective.

Though, when Yelena finished her conversation and left with slightly pink cheeks, I realised it might have been more than a little jealousy I was feeling.

Trying to push that to the side, I plastered on a smile as we walked out the store. "So? How did it go?"

Yelena shrugged, smiling a little. "Alright. You were right. She was nice. I said I'd call her."

"That's great," I said, sounding excited for her, but I wasn't too sure I actually was.

"Enough of that anyway," Yelena said, giving me a sideways glance. "We don't want you back to work late. Let's go."

"We've got time, don't worry about– woah!"

I was cut off when Yelena put her hand out across me, stopping me from walking further forward. A cyclist suddenly sped past us, inches away from knocking me down if she hadn't stopped me, and I widened my eyes with surprise at the suddenness of it all and also the feeling of Yelena's hand protectively over me because she still hadn't let go, even when she yelled out a string of Russian curse words to the cyclist. It was kind of attractive, admittedly, seeing her so protective, and that's when I realised...

Oh, no.

"Are you okay?" she asked, finally dropping her hand and looking to me with concern.

I swallowed uncomfortably, avoiding her eyes. "Yep. All good here. Thank you."

She breathed out with relief, squeezing my arm gently. "People can be such idiots."

She began to rant about how inconsiderate some cyclists could be when riding on the pavement, but I was barely listening. The realisation that I may be attracted to my best friend was enough to silence me for the rest of the walk back to work.

It didn't long for me to realise that, yes, I do in fact like my best friend.

Though I tried to pin it down to a momentary lapse of judgement, or a mere appreciation for the beauty that was Yelena, I knew it wasn't that. More so when she actually began to see Andrea outside of the coffee shop and went on a few dates with her. The jealousy that went through me was too fierce to be purely platonic. And I hated that I only noticed too late.

Despite this, I tried to be as supportive as possible, especially because it was Yelena's first true taste of a relationship. There was a chance I was finding things to pick on without meaning to though...

"She's just really nice," Yelena was telling me one day after another date she'd been on. Her smile was permanent and she was gushing, making me feel icky because it was about someone else. "We went bowling and it was simple, but she makes me feel good. I didn't think it was possible, you know? I'm usually the one who doesn't feel like this, but something about her..."

She sighed contently, probably falling into a daydream about her, and I couldn't exactly do anything about it because I was the one who pushed her to go out with her.

"Does she know who you are?" I asked, trying not to seem too interested, when deep down I hated the irrational jealousy in me.

She shook her head, trying not to laugh. "I'm not stupid. Of course she doesn't. As far as she's aware, I work in admin at S.H.I.E.L.D."

I narrowed my eyes without meaning to. "So, my job."

She grinned, winking. "Exactly!"

I shoved her arm gently from across the table. "Just be careful. She's still new and you don't want to let anything slip up."

She gave me a disapproving look. "Y/N, I think you forget I'm a fully trained assassin. I don't let things 'slip up'."

I rolled my eyes. "Still."

And that was only the start. The more dates she went on, the more unreasonably jealous I was becoming. I tried my hardest to be supportive, but it was hard seeing her be so happy with someone else.

I wasn't sure how I'd never looked at Yelena in this light before, especially when she'd been nothing but kind and caring towards me. Probably because I was in a relationship, but now I wasn't and she was, so everything was the wrong timing. Whatever it was, I just knew that now I'd become aware of how great she was in a more-than-a-friend kind of way, it hurt seeing her with someone else.

But, like I said, I was nothing short of supportive. I helped her get ready for her dates, I gave her advice whenever she asked for it, and I even hung out with Andrea whenever they invited me. She was just as nice as she was at the coffee shop, except now I hated everything about her for the sole reason that she was dating Yelena and I wasn't.

It was a horrid feeling, jealousy. But I tried not to let it get the better of me. Yelena was in her first proper relationship and she needed support, not bitterness.

Unfortunately, as time passed, there were a few times when Yelena and Andrea would have plans and Andrea would cancel last minute, unaware of the way Yelena's feelings would drop in an instant. Or sometimes, we'd all be grabbing lunch together and she'd cut Yelena off mid-story, highjacking it with her own. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not, and Yelena never seemed to mind, so I didn't comment on it. But I always thought about it, hoping it wasn't my jealousy just picking things to hate on.

I knew I wasn't just seeing things when it happened again, though this time it was their two month anniversary (whatever the hell that meant). I was helping Yelena get ready at hers, doing her hair for her and listening to her ramble all about what she had planned and what restaurant she'd booked for the evening. She looked stunning, I wouldn't lie, but even more so because of the sparkle in her eyes and the glimmer in her smile when she talked about Andrea. As much as I disliked the girl, she made Yelena happier than I'd seen her. And as much as that broke my heart, it warmed it, too.

"So, the waiter said he'd prepare this special chocolate cake that's cut into a heart–" she was telling me as I put some pins in her hair to keep it out of her eyes, but was cut off by her phone ringing.

I passed it to her from behind me on the bed, happening to catch the caller ID as Andrea's. When she saw it, her face lit up and she answered it.

"Darling, hey!" she greeted, making me insides turn uncomfortably. There was a pause, then Yelena continued, "I'm almost ready and I'll come to pick you up. It's a surprise after all." She laughed, but then she fell silent, listening intently.

I finished her hair and smiled at my handiwork before taking a step back, only to realise the lovely smile on her face had disappeared.

"No, I understand," she said, voice lacking the same excitement it had all evening. A fake smile was on her lips as she looked down, playing with the hem of her dress. "It's okay, don't worry. We can reschedule. It happens all the time. Just a mix up, I know."

I frowned, wondering what was up, before watching her say her goodbyes and hanging up. It was quiet and she didn't say anything, so I decided to speak up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked gently, moving around so I could see her face.

She nodded, faking another smile as she met my eyes briefly. "Yes, but Andrea won't be able to go out this evening."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise. "What do you mean? You've got a whole plan. I thought you were picking her up."

She bit her lip, looking away. "She didn't realise she'd promised she'd go out to a party with her roommate tonight. Mixed up the days."

Without thinking twice, I said, "What the fuck? That's rude."

Yelena shook her head, visibly upset but defensive. "No, it was just an accident. Her roommate needed a wing woman and she promised she'd go. She said she'd make it up to me."

"Yelena, that's not an excuse," I told her with furrowed brows, not recognising this version of my friend. "It's your two month anniversary, right? You both knew the date. She should have cancelled with her friend and chose you."

"Y/N, just leave it," she said quietly, before standing up and taking out the pins in her hair.

"No, I won't leave it," I said, earning her attention. "This isn't the first time she's cancelled on you last minute. You put a lot of effort into tonight and she should be here!"

"It's not a big deal," she defended again, and it frustrated me to no ends because if the roles had been reversed, Yelena would have killed the person who did this to me. But ever since she'd dated Andrea, she'd become submissive.

"It's a dick move, Yelena!" I exclaimed, and she clenched her jaw. "She's a–"

"Don't," she warned, shooting me a look. "Don't talk about her like that."

"You always defend her," I said with disbelief. "Yelena, she does this regularly! And not just this."

"Oh, just say how you really feel," she said sarcastically, turning to walk to her wardrobe so she didn't have to look at me.

"Ever since you began dating her, it's like you've changed," I finally told her what had been on my mind. "She makes the decisions. She tells you what to do. She cancels, she takes advantage of your patience and you let her! That's not what a relationship is!"

"Stop talking badly about her!" she shouted suddenly, spinning around to glare at me. "I don't know where all of this is coming from, but stop it! It's not your place, Y/N!"

"Yes, it is!" I shouted. "She's a shitty girlfriend, Yelena! Who the hell leaves someone alone on their anniversary?! And for what – a dumb party?! That's fucked!"

"Stop it! You–" She began to curse in Russian, looking up with frustration, before settling her fiery stare at me. "You're the one who told me to date her!"

I scoffed. "Well, that was before I knew how badly she'd treat you."

"No!" she yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at me. "Stop it! You don't– fuck! You don't get to say all of this now! Not when–!"

Stopping herself, she squeezed her hand into a fist and looked the other way. I hated that she couldn't just see how badly she was being treated, how she couldn't believe me when I told her.

"Whatever, enjoy your cancelled date," I told her with a frown, before grabbing my phone and leaving her place.

So much for being supportive, I guess.

THIRD PERSON POV

"She's just being such a– such a–"

"A concerned friend?" Natasha filled in for her sister, making the blonde groan with frustration.

"Why are you sticking up for her right now?!" Yelena exclaimed. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Sorry," Natasha apologised, hardly meaning it.

Since Yelena burst into her room at the Compound the following day of her cancelled date, ranting about how rude Y/N was being and how she didn't approve of Yelena's relationship, Natasha was forced to hear it all.

"She doesn't get to comment on this!" Yelena continued to rant, more upset than angry, Natasha noticed. "I waited for her, for crying out loud! I– fuck, I was in love with her and she didn't see that, so no! She doesn't get to tell me what my relationship is."

"I mean, regardless of all of that, she wasn't wrong," Natasha commented, wondering if she'd regret it given Yelena's current emotional state right now. "The way Andrea treats you... it's not how a relationship is supposed to be."

Yelena narrowed her eyes at her sister. "Are you just team Y/N all the way now? Didn't know you loved her so fucking much."

Natasha ignored her bitterness and continued, "I'm not taking sides, Yelena. But I've seen how Andrea treats you, heard from yourself how she treats you. It's a dick thing to do."

Yelena clenched her jaw. "You've never said this before."

Natasha sighed, looking over her cup of coffee and to her sister. "I didn't want to get involved in your first relationship. It's something you had to figure out yourself. But Y/N... she cares about you and said it first. She's right. You deserve better, Yelena. And you're only not listening to Y/N because you're holding a grudge at the fact that she didn't love you back. That she didn't know you loved– love– whatever it is, her. But that's not fair to hold against her when she doesn't know. You didn't tell her and that's on you. Not her."

Yelena began to unclench her jaw and looked away, her anger fading and being replaced with hurt. There was truth to Natasha's words, she knew that, but she couldn't accept it just like that. It wasn't fair. She waited for Y/N. She wanted her. And when she finally had her chance, Y/N convinced her to ask Andrea out instead. All Yelena ever wanted was Y/N. It should have been her.

It wasn't fair.

YOUR POV

Yelena and I had never argued before, not like this. Small, stupid, petty arguments, sure, but never this. I hadn't seen her as angry as I had that evening. We hadn't gone this long – a whole week – without speaking, ever.

I missed her.

After being left alone to replay that evening over in my head, I knew I shouldn't have snapped like I did. Letting my concern and jealousy both get the better of me like that... it wasn't fair on Yelena. She didn't know how I felt, she couldn't have, and I was the one who talked her into dating Andrea. I couldn't take it out on her like I was, so I knew I needed to apologise. And tell her the truth, even if it meant saying goodbye to our friendship forever.

I went to visit her at her apartment, hoping she'd be in and also actually let me see her. Sucking up a deep breath, I knocked on her front door and waited. Finally, the door opened and Yelena was standing there, certainly surprised to see me. She didn't look like she wanted to punch me in the face, which was a positive sign...

"Hey," I said, embarrassed at how quietly it came out. Clearing my throat, I repeated myself, "Hey. Hi."

She pressed her lips together, green eyes flickering between mine. "Hi. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I know, sorry for showing up unannounced." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I understand if you want me to leave, but I came here because I want to talk to you. I need to apologise, Yelena."

She raised her eyebrows, clearly surprised. "I see. It's funny you say that. I was actually going to visit you. I wanted to apologise also. And talk."

I was surprised, not expecting to hear that, and as much as I was curious about what she felt she needed to apologise for, I knew I needed to go first, it already on the tip of my tongue.

"Can I come in?" I asked nervously.

She nodded, stepping to the side. I let myself in, stopping in the hall and not inviting myself in any further.

"Y/N, I–" she began after closing the door behind me, but I cut her off instantly.

"Please let me go first," I pleaded. "I have to tell you something important. It can't wait."

She nodded reluctantly, eyes locking on mine as she waited for me to speak. This was it. The truth. Possibly the last exchange I could have with her if it went so badly.

"Firstly, I'm sorry for how everything went down between us last week," I said with a frown. "I shouldn't have flipped on you like that without warning. What I said... it could have been said better, at a better time and in a better place. But Yelena... it's true. I don't want to see you being used like that and forgotten about. You're amazing and you deserve the world."

She looked down at her shoes uncomfortably, and I worried I was going too far. But I sucked it up and powered through.

"The reason I was so bitter about it was because I was concerned as your best friend, yes, but also because I was jealous. I'm in love with you, Yelena."

Shocked, she looked up at me, eyebrows raised. Realising what I said, I cursed inwardly and tried to backtrack. That wasn't how I planned to tell her.

"Sorry," I said quickly, "that's not fair. You're in a relationship and–"

"We broke up," she cut me off abruptly.

I blinked, confused. "What?"

"That's what I was going to tell you," she said softly. "I broke up with her. You were right. I deserve better."

It was my turn to be surprised, eyebrows raised and her words digesting. "Oh."

It went quiet between us, our words hanging in the air, and I didn't know what else to say when she watched me closely.

"I've been in love with you for a long time," she finally spoke, taking me by further surprise.

"What?"

She released a deep breath, sad smile on her lips. "You never knew and I couldn't tell you because you were my first real friend. And I didn't want to ruin that."

She'd been in love with me this whole time? How was I so blind to miss it?

"Since when?" I asked, like it would make a difference, genuinely shocked by this revelation.

She swallowed thickly. "Do you remember that time when we went out to that sushi place? And I accidentally dropped the soy sauce all over you?"

How could I forget? It was shortly after we became proper friends and was the funniest thing to happen at a sushi bar. I smelled like soy sauce the whole afternoon at work but I didn't even care because Yelena was so embarrassed it was adorable.

"Yeah," I answered quietly.

"Since then," she said awkwardly, looking away.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I was too taken aback, overthinking every moment since that sushi date. She'd been in love with me for that long?

"Well, now what?" she asked nervously, a nervousness that was rare with her but reminded me she wasn't just the stoic assassin everyone thought she was.

I pressed my lips together, eyes studying her expression with intrigue. She was avoiding my stare, eyes glued to the ground, and I let mine fall from her bright eyes to the slope of her nose, the dip of her cupid's bow, the fullness of her lips. She loved me, too. But she wouldn't make the first move, that much was clear. Why wait any longer?

"Maybe I could take you out on a date," I offered, earning her attention. "A proper one. And I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. How you deserve to be."

I held my breath, portraying a confidence I definitely didn't feel inside. I was certain she was, too, the both of us awaiting an answer that felt like it wouldn't come.

And just at that moment, her phone began to ring.

Startled, she pulled it from her pocket and checked the screen before declining the call. Clutching it tightly, she looked up to me again, eyes flickering between mine.

"I–"

Her phone began to ring again, only making the nerves in my stomach tighten with each passing second.

"You should answer," I told her before she could decline it. "It could be important."

Reluctantly she nodded and let out an annoyed sigh, putting the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

I couldn't hear the conversation, but it sounded like her sister and there was a sense of urgency in her voice. Something must have been up. Yelena kept a passive expression, humming before promising to be there and saying her goodbyes.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," she said afterwards. "There's an emergency at the Compound."

I smiled, hoping she couldn't see my deflated expression, and shook my head. "No, it's okay. You go. I'll leave, too."

Turning around quickly with the only thought of mine to curl in my bed and sulk, I tried to leave, but Yelena grasped my hand and spun me back around. Before I could ask her what was up, she pulled me close and kissed me.

I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around her waist like it was second nature, and kissed her back. It was gentle, lasting only a few seconds, but my cheeks flushed and my lips were tingling when she pulled away.

"I would love to go on a proper date with you," she muttered, a smile creeping on her lips. "It's all I've ever wanted."

I began to smile, too, speechless and breathless all at once. I could have stared at her for a long time, merely admiring her pretty eyes and heartwarming smile, but I remembered her sister's call and reluctantly pulled apart.

"You should go to the Compound, it sounded urgent," I told her.

As if suddenly remembering, she breathed out and nodded. "Right, yeah."

"Let me know if everything is okay and if we need to rearrange tomorrow," I told her, going to the door. "Be safe."

"I will," she promised, unable to stop smiling, just like me. "See you, Y/N."

"Bye," I said, bringing myself to leave because if I stayed a second longer, I knew I'd end up pulling her in for another kiss.

I left and the smile on my face was permanent, I was certain.

#marvel #marvel imagine #mcu #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova #florence pugh #black widow #mcu imagine

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gorkloum · 6 months

Note

I was talking to my mother about fanfiction and I feel a little uncomfortable. The conversation started with Harry Styles as an artist, and then I told her about a fanfiction that a fan of his wrote she uploaded to Wattpad and then published as a (shitty) book. "After" if you have heard. She's like: "didn't the singer take legal action?" "no, since they changed his name in the story," I replied. "So fanfictions are situations you make up in your head with various singers?" she asked. "not necessarily. You can take ideas from a movie or series you liked and make your own story" "that must be a huge understatement for someone. They could be told: “Don't you have any ideas of your own?” Is it really necessary to write something someone else has wrote?” and something like that" Little did she know her own child writes and even uploads these stories online 😅Really, I feel kind of embarrassed, although we didn't talk about me. Lol I'm sure you don't care...

I care 😈

Sorry, I never hear neither about "After", nor about Harry Styles himself. But I will try to write some kind of supportive message.

No wonder that words of your mother become something like personal judging from the closest person for you, don't blame yourself (if you do this). It's not strange, since the mother figure is very important for every human being.

But our parents, especially who does not write or doesn't have similar creative hobby, may have very simplistic view on it, full of stereotypes. For example, one of mine oldest relatives was sure that The Artist(tm) must draw strictly from imagination without any references or similar stuff. Sometimes, even if they have experienced more with your hobby, they can say things which is not correlate with your opinion. And that's okay!

Creating art inspired by something else is not wrong, I mean, you can go to any art museum and try to count every artist who did not create anything based on the Bible, or open the list of masterpieces of world literature and try to find anything without the ideas from the world and surroundings of the writer or their contemporaries. The border between "own" and "another's" sometimes is extremely thin. Can the idea being called "own" if an artist illustrated an event which was in their life? Ugh, this is another topic 😪

Just remember Dante Alighieri and "Divine Comedy" (poor guy, probably he is remembered every day on this site), create things and follow your heart (within the laws of your country hehehe) ❤️ May the fact of a keyboard/a pen with notebook within your grasp become someone else's problem 😈

#thank you for your question!

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anystalker707 · 3 years

Text

Pleasantly Surprising

Pairing: Gerard x Reader Word count: ~ 4 000 Genre: Fluff / Enemies to lovers Summary: (Y/n) meets a nice group of guys in a concert. Warning: Blood, but no violence or wounds description.

Requested on Wattpad

a/n: This one if for you blood kink bastards </3

(Y/p) = Your pronouns

Feeling the cold night air filling my lungs with a faint smell of grass is much better than the smoky and sweaty, heavy air present among the public that gets worse near the mosh pit. I lean back against the brick wall, feeling the cold surface through the thick jeans of my jacket, digging into my shoulder blades as I try to control my breathing, quietly watching the band leaving the stage to give place to another.

My throat feels dry, aching the slightest after I swallow around the sharp and cold breaths, so I look around for a stand to buy at least a soda, ankling over to the nearest one. The line isn't actually that long – thank hell –, but that doesn't prevent a random bastard from trying to cut in line.

"Hey, what in the fuck you think you're doing?" I raise an eyebrow, pulling them back by their collar and they just look at me with this sulky face, bottom lip sticking out and lip ring glowing lightly under the reduced lighting. "No cutting in!"

"Says who?" they retort bitterly. "What you gonna do about it?"

"Aw, bold, aren't we?" I raise an eyebrow, glancing down and... the motherfucker is wearing school clothes, lacking the tie and shirt untucked. Private school. "What are you? Not like the other kids? The line isn't even that long, stupid."

"Fuck off," they sigh, shrugging out of my grip and harshly fixing their clothes.

"Frank– Fuck, Frank, the hell, can't we leave you alone for a single second?" A random voice suddenly interrupts our interaction before a tall person approaches, a motherly and worried air lacing their gaze. They look from me to Frank before exhaling, raising an eyebrow, at which Frank shrugs. "I'm sorry for whatever Frank did, he–"

"Fuck, no, Ray!" Frank cuts them off, "you're not playing the good guy here! I was just trying to–"

"Trying to cut in the line, yeah, very nice of you, isn't it?" I roll my eyes, twisting my mouth. At least he isn't lying, but is he stupid or something? Why would he try to convince us what he was trying to do was alright?

It looks like Frank is going to argue for a second, but ends up just groaning through gritted teeth and looking away with a sigh and tense shoulders.

Ray doesn't look any amused, only observing Frank like who looks at a puzzle after having tried to solve it for weeks without success. They shake their head, turning to me instead. "I'm Ray, he/him, nice to meet you. Sorry for Frank, what he did is... unfortunately usual."

I observe him looking at him from head to toes. School uniform just like Frank's, tucked shirt, loose tie. "Hi. I'm (y/n), (y/p). And don't worry, I would've done the same," I breathe, looking away from the two to hand the person behind the counter the money after pointing to the drink I want.

"What?" Frank gasps. "You would've done the same and still acted all like that towards me?"

I roll my eyes, sighing. "Me doing it doesn't mean I like being affected by it." I grab the change, shoving it in my pocket then step aside for Frank and Ray, cracking the can open.

"Y'know–" Frank crosses his arms over his chest, throwing his nose in the air, "–my momma says that you should treat the others as you want to be–"

"Aw, honey, so you'd like me cutting in the line right in front of you? Shamelessly?" I raise an eyebrow at him, unable to hold back a grin when his face gets bright red, hands balling into fists. Not gonna lie, it's kinda cute how he twists his mouth. Frank is about to curse when Ray is shoving a couple of cans into his hands – a sigh leaves his lips instead. "Two for each?" I question and sip on my drink.

Frank smirks, looking at me with humor. "Yeah, wanna watch me drink them at once?"

Ray rolls his eyes at Frank, shoving him out of the way after noticing there were people behind them. "We're actually with two other friends. Are you alone here? Do you wanna come along?" He smiles, ignoring Frank's complaints, so I opt for doing the same.

"I guess that'd be nice," I hum, shrugging. Otherwise, I'd be going home right now and Ray actually seems nice... I mean, Frank does too, but I'm not feeding his ego.

The other two stand against a brick wall when we find them, both quietly chatting to each other until seeing us approaching. The first one doesn't exactly react, more interested in the can Ray hands him, but the second, greasy punk, hums questioningly, straightening their posture as taking a good look at me almost like I did to Frank earlier. "And who are you?"

"(Y/n), (y/p)," I mutter, looking at them from over the rim of the can, taking a sip of my drink.

"Found lying in the trash when I approached," Frank adds, but doesn't seem so confident after I playfully shove him aside.

"Gerard, he/they," Gerard replies, eyes never averting away from mine. What is he, kind of a gang leader? Got a hell of an ego, though a bit differently from Frank – I'm noticing a pattern here, huh. "Mikey, he/him," he continues, nodding to the other guy.

I throw my empty can in a trashcan before leaning in towards Gerard. He tries to escape the touch, but he's against a wall, there's nowhere to go. How cute. "Belleville High," I say, finally able to make out what the small black letters embroidered on the chest area says, and step away, allowing Gerard to breathe. "Isn't it that private school? Catholic one? Wow, who'd know I'd find BH students here!"

"Stereotyping, are we?" Frank raises an eyebrow. It's impossible holding back a smile at him.

"No, never," I chuckle. "It's just a... rare occurrence. You came here right after school?"

"Not really." Ray shakes his head. "Just didn't have the opportunity to change. Good thing it's Friday, tho," he chuckles humorlessly and I nod in a silent agreement.

"And where do you study?" Frank takes a better look at my face. "If you study, that is."

I scoff, but don't reply just yet. Mikey is the most tidied up out of the four whereas Gerard has his tie loose around his neck, shirt untucked, blazer all wrinkled. "Of course I study, dumbass!" I glare. "But I'm in the public school near the park. But I've seen you before." I nod towards Gerard. "Just don't know where."

Gerard's eyes narrow. "Are you sure?"

"It's not always that I see a greasy vampire looking around, so yeah."

A silence hovers between us for a moment, both of us staring at each other until he feigns unamusement, looking away – I smile with a stupid pride swelling in my chest.

The night ends with us exchanging numbers after a solid hour of joking around and throwing sarcastic insults at each other. Teasing Gerard was particularly fun because he often ran away from the whole joking or at least tried to and even Mikey laughed when it failed, though sometimes succeeding when Frank finally managed to get the spotlight on himself. Ray is sweet, despite being the perfect example for 'looks like a cinnamon roll, but can actually kill you.'

Gerard got my attention, to be honest.

Saturday and Sunday go by quite slowly and thankfully texting the guys every five minutes doesn't make it as depressing as usual. Texting Gerard isn't the same as texting Frank – who replies a text to each word I send him –, however. Gerard often replies with a word or a vague comment and guess what? I'm only more interested.

No Gerard manages to slip between my thoughts during school, but it ends up happening as soon as I step past the gates. Belleville high, isn't it? Shitty elite, but they don't really seem to be like that... let's see if that wasn't just great acting. That's not even a mile away from here. I look down the street, the direction opposite to where I would usually go. It won't hurt to say hi, right? Not to mention I've got nothing to do for the rest of the day.

Belleville High's classes finish about ten minutes later compared to my school's, so I don't bother walking too fast, but not slow enough to let my palms get clammy or overthink anything. Amazing how I can feel like this about people I only met once. Okay, whatever, take a deep breath because I guess I know these curls.

"Look at who we have here!" I throw an arm around Frank's neck, interrupting whatever they were doing and attracting wide eyes towards me. Turns out I found them earlier than expected, hanging out in the park.

"Damn, are you everywhere?" Frank raises an eyebrow at me and presses his lips together, though never stepping away. Blood?

"Who knows?" I joke. "Also..." I trail off, only now taking a good look at them. "Man, what in the hell fucking happened to you guys? Seriously–" I yank a paper off Frank's back, sighing at the 'kick me' written across it and hand it to him, shaking my head. What fucking idiot did this? How the hell did they even get into a fight? It doesn't seem like they were fighting each other.

Frank groans poorly, wadding the paper into a ball and tossing it at the nearby trash can. He's got a few scratches above his eyebrows and blood trailing down the corner of his lips. Mikey and Gerard are probably in the best state out of the four – Gerard got blood trailing down his nose and same for Mikey, though on opposite sides and Mikey's cheek is smeared with blood. I can't say the same about Ray... I don't know how he's not even wincing with all that blood trailing down his face.

"Well," Mikey breathes, bringing a hand to the back of his head, "you can say that–"

"Why do you even want to know?" Gerard steps forward, hands clenched into fists by his sides. "You got nothing to do with it, okay?"

"Aw," I breathe a chuckle. So he wants things to happen like this? But does he have the nerve to keep it? I may not have known him for long, but the attitude is clearly foreign, unmatching. "And what, baby? You lost, didn't you? And you're a fucking sore loser!"

"I just don't see why you should know." He twists his mouth, looking at me uninterested, but it doesn't take long until he's looking at me with these eyes, irises barely seen, eyebrows scrunched close. "And don't talk to me like that! Maybe it would even be better if you fucked off and left us alone, don't you think?"

Man, he talks a lot. Too much. No wonder why he's in such a state. Maybe he'll shut up if I...

"Holy..." Frank trails off with a quiet chuckle and I'm certain Gerard would have glared at him if he wasn't processing what just happened.

Meanwhile, Mikey and Ray stare at me with wide eyes – as wide as Gerard's, but they're not as petrified as Gerard is, for sure, only with hesitant, unsure grins on their faces. I suppress the urge to laugh at Gerard, instead more focused on rubbing my tongue against the roof of my mouth, trying to get rid of the salty and metallic taste.

A quiet sound comes from Gerard as he finally moves, maybe a groan, not sounding really comfortable. He brings a hand up to his lips. The perfect trail of almost dry blood is now smudged, following the direction I licket it to, having the blood smeared across his chin and bottom lip. "Ugh, ugh, ugh," he groans, frantically cleaning his lips and chin with the back of his wrist, against the sleeve of his blazer. "What the fuck? You're gross!"

I roll my eyes with a sigh. "Man, I wonder why I thought being an asshole could be solved."

"Eh, trust me, he isn't normally like this," Ray says with a shrug, looking at Gerard like if he was a chained angry dog even after receiving a glare.

No one gives Gerard's tantrum much attention as we soon sit down on the grass and change the subject before we can notice. Surprisingly, Gerard sits down next to me. Even more surprisingly, he leans closer at some point and whispers, "well, look at who's the vampire now."

Saying Gerard's words got stuck in my head would be an understatement. Maybe it's a nightmare, maybe it's not, but it does get me randomly blushing or stupidly grinning during random times of the day. Nonetheless, school the following day does help a bit with cleaning my head a little.

After a few hours of staring at blackboards, the setting changes to staring at records hanging on the walls and it's honestly better. Incoherent, loud chatter being changed to music of my choice is a lot better, even if I need to talk to a customer now and then.

"This is the place I told you about. I've only been here once, but it seems good," a voice says from the outside, but I don't look up from my homework.

"Never been here," someone else says. A pause follows then their footsteps sound clearer and I sigh, shoving my things on the space under the counter.

"Hello, good afternoon," I say automatically, holding back a groan at how my eraser insists on falling and grabbing it fast. "How can I help you?" I finally look up just to freeze. And the four have the same reaction, to be honest. "I knew I had seen you before," I say to Gerard.

"What a small world!" Frank approaches, immediately narrowing his eyes and throwing his nose in the air as looking over to me. "So you're not a rebel who only wanders around and goes to free concerts during the night and stalks us?" He raises an eyebrow, looking around the place, inspecting the shelves full of records and CDs.

"So you only got one set of clothes?" I mock, staring at his school uniform.

Frank exhales, shoulders dropping. "We just got here from school." He motions vaguely to his messenger bag and I nod, humming, not like it matters a lot.

While we talk, Ray and Mikey wander around, talking quietly to each other and sometimes taking a record in hand, but Gerard... he stands there awkwardly, observing Frank and I with a lost gaze. What is he doing? Trying to act all cool like last time? Or doesn't know how to react?

"Hello," I greet, which sounds more like a question. Frank turns around to look at him, apparently understanding Gerard as much as I do.

Gerard presses his lips together and steps forward, also leaning against the counter. "You didn't mention you work here."

"Didn't have a reason to." I shrug.

The corner of his lips twitch and he's holding eye contact until sighing. "Okay, whatever. Got anything new on Misfits or Pumpkins? Also, Bauhaus." He glances at me, black strands falling over his eyes for a moment before he's pulling them away. Cute.

"Of course." I grin, moving to the cabinets behind the counter.

Frank eventually darts off as I show Gerard the records and cassettes like he wanted. I glance around to make sure Frank is paying attention to whatever Mikey is telling him and Ray before I turn to Gerard again, grinning lightly. "Y'know," I mutter, leaning forward with my elbows over the counter. "I've got passes for a bar concert tonight. Wanna come?"

"What do you mean by passes?" His eyes never avert from the records – he runs his fingers over them delicately, examining each of them closely.

"Each ticket was about ten dollars and they're sold out, but the store is sponsoring the event and I got free passes." I smirk, watching his eyebrows raise lightly. "I usually can get one person in with me. What do you say?"

He pauses. "Why me?"

"Because you're the one I know the least." And also the one I'm interested in. "Pick you up at seven, what do you say?"

He sighs. "I'll text you my address."

"Wow, you're..." Gerard stares at me with a blank face, standing there and letting all the cold air get in. He rushes into the car, closing the door carefully.

"I'm...?" I raise an eyebrow, sinking my foot down on the gas, pulling away from the sidewalk.

"I don't know." Silence. "Not what I expected."

"Glad to know." I grin. "You're also not what I expected. You're never what I expect, to be honest..." He wasn't all open in the beginning, but also wasn't the asshole he was in the park – in his defence, at least, he had just gotten out of a fight, nerves still on edge. At the store, however, he seemed more like himself. "Also, you're looking good."

Gerard's eyes are surrounded by eyeliner and a red eyeshadow – definitely nothing I would see him in, but also nothing I'm disappointed about –, bringing out his paleness. And for the first time, he isn't wearing that stupid school uniform and fancy shoes are replaced by platform boots. A leather jacket clutches his shoulders, decorated with a few studs and patches, and covering a nice Slipknot shirt. And there are his jeans, fucking tight and I swear I hadn't noticed this guy got such a nice ass and, fucking hell, it's difficult not staring at his thighs flat on the seat, with a chain falling over one of them.

"Thank you," he mutters quietly. Even in the reduced lighting, I can see his cheeks gaining a red tone before he looks away.

The place is crowded, but not overly – which is why the tickets were even sold, at first place – and it's fun seeing Gerard's chin drop when he looks at the sign of the place. To simplify, everyone is either always wanting to play in this bar or come watch someone play and the tickets are not only always sold in small quantities, but also expensive.

"Let's go," I chuckle after having spent a good moment observing Gerard.

We jog across the street, towards the entrance, just straight away skipping the whole line. The guy in charge of letting people in looks at us indifferently, in a silent question, muscles clear under the tight staff shirt. Even if there's no visible difference in his expression, he does relax a bit after I show him my pass and steps aside to let us in.

"Wow," Gerard mutters, almost inaudibly.

"You like it?" I ask as we walk through the people. No answer comes. He stayed back, of course; the boy is kinda shy and hesitant, after all. "C'mon!" I take a hold of his hand to pull him with me until we're in the bar area, which's much calmer. He stands there for a moment, looking around, until I point at one of the stools, sitting down on the one beside it.

Gerard shifts on his seat, hands resting on his lap and clenched into fists. He observes everything with wide eyes and I can't bring myself to avert my attention away from him. He's beautiful.

When the band starts playing, however, the atmosphere starts changing. It's a classic punk band – the kind of people you'd see around in skate lanes, spraying anarchist messages on a building's wall or behind a McDonald's counter – and the music is good, nonetheless, raw and emotional and demanding. Great to dance to.

Gerard is shy, as already stated – what makes me wonder how he even agreed on coming –, taking a good time to actually stand up from the stool and join me.

His hand is warm under mine, maybe not as warm as his cheeks seem to be. I had taken it in mine to pull him up from the stool, only, but he didn't let go and... oh well. Aren't you interesting, Gerard? I grin to myself and take his other hand to pull him to dance with me; that if you consider moving around to the rhythm of the song some kind of dance, but Gerard doesn't complain.

I'm not sure how much time goes by – I only question myself about that once the band is saying good night, breathing audibly as they get off the stage. The live music is replaced by a momentary incoherent chatter when loud music fills the place again, this time coming from the speakers. Gerard and I are out of breath when averting our attention from the stage to each other. My arms feel a bit sore after all of that, almost the opposite to my numb legs.

"Wanna grab a drink?" I nod towards the bar. "We can go to the alley to take a breath, then."

"Sounds good."

The non-alcoholic drinks are as cold as the night air, suddenly making it even more obvious how much we jumped around to the band's sound. We lean against the wall opposite to the side of the bar and I look at Gerard, watching his chest rise and fall fast, only coming to a longer pause when he brings the glass to his lips. He observes something above us, maybe the sky, but I don't care.

"Your nose is bleeding again." I suddenly note, seeing the dark red trail now almost reaching his upper lip. Not a surprise. He hurt his nose not much over a day ago and all the jumping must have opened the wound.

"Fuck." Gerard brings a hand to his nose and sighs when seeing the red stain on his fingers; I chuckle softly, halfheartedly. "What? You wanna lick it again?" he teases, raising an eyebrow at me. He apparently opts for not ruining the sleeve of his leather jacket, regarding it more than his school blazer.

I roll my eyes, smiling helplessly. "Well, if you'd like me to," I decide to tease back, looking at him through half lidded eyes.

"Ah, you wouldn't dare!" He chuckles, blood staining his lips according to how he talks.

"You think so, honey?" I raise an eyebrow. A few stutters come from him, but I just grab his glass and set it aside with mine, on the ground, before stepping towards him. "Tell me, why are you always so... bold around me? It's clear it's not part of you, as Ray even said." I suppress a humorous chuckle at how he frantically backs away against the wall, having nowhere to go. This brings me memories. "Maybe it has a specific reason?"

Gerard's eyes are wide, lips twitching, though no word ever comes through and his expression changes instantly once I get a hold of his hips and pin him to the wall. Feeling the heat coming from his cheeks is almost possible and all that resistance is gone, tendering into compliance and shyness.

"Look at you, Gerard," I mutter, rubbing circles into his hips as leaning in. "How surprising can you be?"

Having Gerard only letting out a quiet whine in response as his hands rest hesitantly over my shoulders make my heart flutter in my chest. I finally lean in, pressing my lips to Gerard's; he returns the kiss right away, lips sliding against mine easily.

And there it is; the rich metallic taste of Gerard's blood. I run my tongue over his bottom lip, snatching a hum from him, which turns into a whining-gasp once my teeth sink into it slightly.

His hands tighten around my shoulders, I grip harder onto his hips in consequence and he's sent relaxing back against the wall. He never had control over the kiss, but he's suddenly just giving up on the power at once with a quiet sound, slowly wrapping his arm around my neck to pull me closer and I gladly deepen the kiss.

"Wow, love," I breathe as soon as we part the kiss, lungs screaming for air. Gerard doesn't reply verbally, with his lips brushing lightly against mine and, by now, the blood is starting to get sticky, on its way to drying, also on my lips.

"I hope we can go out more often," he mutters shyly, not long before burying his face in the crook of my neck.

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halfofwhatisayismeaningless · 3 years

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A tale of two. Alex Turner. Eight.

Description (Part One.) Alex Turner x fem!Reader. (Y/N) (Y/LN) is a young and promising publicist in show business. Her work would cause the encounter with the person who would turn her life upside down: Alex Turner. But what happens when love seems to go counterflow? When everything seems inconvenient?

Words: 1,2k.

A/N: I know it has been like two weeks. I'M SO SORRY. But I've been feeling realy unmotivated this past days. You can find the spanish version of this story on my wattpad profile. That’s it for now.

Do you wanna be tagged? You just have to ask!

Part One. Part Two. Part Three. Part Four. Part Five. Part Six. Part Seven.

Alex

He couldn't move. The events of the last years piled upon his head, they became, they mixed and separate. The space-time didn't divide on his head, it seems like it had folded on itself, was this the end of the world? the end of the planet? Did the apocalypse felt like that? He felt like it was.

The silence was deafening, with every minute that passed, the pain was more unbearable. He couldn't stop asking himself what should he do. Go out and look for her? Where was she? The sound of the wheels of her suitcase on their house entry still sounded on his head, non-stop.

"I couldn't live here, surrounded by ghosts," she had said.

He couldn't stop travelling the city on his head, going after the steps they had given that night together, the night of their first kiss. His hair was glowing that night, the skin under that shirt invited him to play. That small necklace with a circle, with that marching ring. He wanted to kiss every part of her body.

He watched her go to the dancefloor, taking Breana's hand. He sighed when he watched her smile. It seemed like she was the only thing on the dancefloor, everything orbited around her.

"Why don't you try, Alex? I really think she likes you, Breana dropped a hint before," Matt said.

"I don't know, I wouldn't like to ruin what we've now. Is better this than nothing."

"Alex, if you don't do it now, you'll regret it tomorrow." Alex stared at him. "Look, I'm going to talk to the DJ, he's my friend. I'll ask him that when you approach her, he puts a slow song, it'll be easier." Alex didn't know what to do.

"Okey," he said, suddenly, he was certain he could do it.

When (Y/N) turned around when she felt his touch on her hips, he knew everything was going to be fine. Those eyes, that smiled drunkenly, were a sign of love, even though none of them knew that yet.

After the already told events, once they were out of the club, Alex and (Y/N) were still holding hands. They looked at each other, Alex couldn't helo it, he approached her, pulled the hair out of her face, and kissed her again.

"Do you want to take a cab? We shouldn't drive in this condition," (Y/N) said, holding Alex's hand.

"It is not bad weather, I could walk you home if you want." (Y/N) knew that her home was far away, but she wanted to spend that time with him, so she smiled and nodded.

They arrived at (Y/N)'s home holding hands, they hadn't said a word about what had happened in the club. They were acting like they always did.

"And what had happened to him?" (Y/N) asked, her eyes open wide.

"They found him in a portable bathroom, at the other end of the festival." The girl laughed at the story. They walked the street up until her building. Once they were at the front door, (Y/N) dropped Alex's hand and looked for her keys in her bag. She approached him with the keys in her hand and touched Alex's chest.

"Would you like to come up for a while?" she asked, smiling near his lips.

"Don't you buy me dinner first at least?" (Y/N) laughed.

"Don't you think there are some things we should talk about?" Alex nodded, (Y/N) offered her hand, and together they crossed the threshold of the door. "Sorry for the mess, I didn't expect any visitors tonight."

(Y/N)'s apartment had a luminous living room, at least the days the sun shined, which were only a few in London. The living room was separated from a small kitchen by an isle. The apartment also had a big room with a king-sized bed and a small office, attached to a huge bathroom.

"If you think that this is messy I don't know what you'd think about my house," Alex answered.

"Would you like some tea? I'm still pretty drunk."

"I'd love some," Alex approached the shelving that decorated one of the walls of the living room, there were hundreds of books, records, movies, pictures, and a turntable. He looked at the vinyl collections. "These are the jazz records you told me your dad had given to you?" (Y/N) looked at him, holding a tray with two cups.

"Do you remember that?"

"I remember everything you tell me, (Y/N)" She put the tray on the coffee table. They sat down on the sofa.

"Alex, I'll be honest with you." He took her hand and nodded, encouraging her to continue talking. "I like you since the day we met, but the idea of being with you romantically terrorizes me."

"Why?" he whispered.

"Because you are Alex Turner, the world-famous singer, every girl you meet falls in love with you. Dating you would be like entering an eternal competition with myself. I'm even talking about dating when maybe you don't want anything serious. But I don't want to be with you if we are not having something serious, I want to trust you, to know that when I get home after a shitty day at work I will be able to call you, and you will listen as you care." Alex looked at her, laying his head on his fist, with his elbow on the arm of the couch.

"Can I talk?" he said when (Y/N) had stopped talking, she nodded. "(Y/N), I want something serious as well. It had been really long since someone excited me as much as you do. You are smart, funny, you know a lot of things, If I could, I would be listening to you talk all day long, I don't care what you were talking about. And you are beautiful." He put her hair behind her ear. "Please, believe me, I'm Alex Turner, but it doesn't matter, because you are (Y/N) (Y/LN), the only person I want to be with." (Y/N) stayed silenced. She couldn't believe what he was saying. "Can I kiss you?"

A simple nod from her was enough for Alex to put his mouth on hers. The kiss, which started soft and tender, became desperate, both tongues started a battle. (Y/N)'s hands went from the singer's hair to the buttons of his shirt. Alex started going down (Y/N)'s neck, kissing each part of the skin which wasn't covered, including the skin of her chest. He went back to her mouth, his shirt had disappeared, they were now lying on the couch, she was on him. It was only when he heard the sound of his belt opening when he got separated from the girl.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" she asked quickly. Alex laughed, touching her face, which had turned now red.

"Everything is fine, (Y/N). But I think it would be better if we take things slowly. I want to do everything right with you, let me take you out on a real date before we do this." (Y/N) smiled at how attentive Alex was.

"Okay, Alex. Whatever you feel is right." Alex stood up, putting on his shirt. "Would you like to stay here? We don't have to sleep together, I can sleep on the sofa."

"It's fine (Y/N), I'll walk home." She stood up as well and walked him to the door. She was the one who started the goodbye kiss. "I'm really happy right now."

"Likewise," she said, smiling. Alex opened the door. "Have a good night."

"You too, baby," he said, winking.

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @pitchblackstars @sethcohenluvr @martinafigoli @welcometofunkytown @mark-speaking @thedeadlythoughts

#alex turner #alex turner imagine #alex turner x reader #alex turner smut #arctic monkeys #alex turner fic #arctic monkeys fic #arctic monkeys x reader

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ham-sandwich-lol · 3 years

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about me (updated)

the name's emma, or stank if ya want

⚠️ before we get started, if you see any tags including my username or anything like it, or my nickname "stank", please don't use it. ⚠️

some quick facts bout yours truly *gay sparkle*

my current special interest is the octonauts

i write books on wattpad: emmaslaffytaffy

i play guitar (very seggc, i know)

im bisexual (questioning if im on the aro-ace spectrum)

im an autistic person! (even better, with adhd too hhhh)

i draw too

now for the boundaries

anyone = green, only mutuals = orange, no plz = red

calling me by my nicknames

messaging me to talk/vent/get to know me

spam liking my posts

liking my old posts/reblogging my stuff

asking to see my face

asking for other social media platforms

requesting art/art trades

fanart of things like redraws, or art for my books or something like that (ive never gotten that before so that would acc be so cool- just plz tag me in it i'd love to see it!)

sexualizing me

bringing hate onto my platforms

venting in my replies (if you need to vent please message me i'm always here for you) if the post has nothing to do with you venting, please don't do it.

sending me links (to things like youtube videos)

copying my art style/or the way i draw characters. this depends. if you originally had an idea that is very similar to mine and you had no idea i did it too and i point it out, please just tell me! i don't want to intrude on you for having an idea. but if you base characters off my designs and you say nothing about it, that isn't cool. adding small things that i also did are okay though!

sending me things that sexualize characters. if its a sexuality headcanon of some sort, that's perfectly fine. but if its sexualizing a character, please stay out of my messages.

stealing my art. this isn't okay ever, no matter the artist.

bringing politics onto my page. as a (somewhat) far leftist with many republican family members, its already shitty in my home life. don't make it worse.

again, please don't use my personal tags either, such as tags that include my nickname (stank) in them, or my username

this includes my art tags, book tags, vent tags, etc.

#boundaries #memes #rant #introduction time #im tired #boundaries post #me things

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neptunetheplanet7 · 3 years

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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ON THE TAG LIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 1.9k

warnings: swearing, cheating

italics means flashback/memory recall

listen to the music masterlist

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quick message! unlike on my wattpad, i’m not doing a character introduction chapter on here. so heads up for he/they armin and she/they sasha!! those are just my personal headcanons i included into the story :) also, i wrote this a LONG time ago. i posted this on my wattpad on 2/24/21. i apologize in advance for any errors. i do plan to re-edit a lot of things regarding this fic in the future.

"She's coming back tomorrow," Jean said casually while pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. You choked on your breakfast. Armin took a worried glance at your coughing form from across the table.

"Sorry." You hacked.

"Mikasa is?" Eren peeked his head through the bathroom doorway as he looked away from the mirror.

"Yeah, I'm going to pick her up from the airport tomorrow night." Jean put down the pot of coffee and took a sip from his hot mug.

"Why so sudden?" Armin put down his book on the table in front of his plate.

"She spoke to me about it briefly. said there was something she needed to do when she got here. I'm just as shocked as you are. I didn't think she'd be back any time soon" Jean brushed the crumbs off his hands and put his plate in the sink.

"How can you all be so calm about this? Did you hear him? Mikasa is coming home tomorrow. She left nearly two years ago! She's finally coming back and none of you are freaking out? She didn't even say why exactly she was coming back." You stood up and threw your hands in the air. Suddenly you lost your appetite.

"No need to get all bent out of shape, Y/n. You act like we haven't seen her in ten years." Eren said with a hair tie in his mouth as he grew impatient with his long and tangled mess of hair.

You rolled your eyes. "Obviously, but she left for a reason. Even when she gets here, will she still want to play with us? Her absence from the band has taken a toll on everyone, and our audience was less than pleased when she announced her vacation, or rather when I announced her vacation." You start pacing in the living room.

Armin's eyes followed you as you moved. "I hope she does, but it's unlikely. I recall her saying she never wanted to see Jean again. I doubt she'll want to play with him here." He theorized.

"Well, she did call me to say she was coming back so I don't think she's still very upset with me." Jean finished off his coffee and tucked his hair behind his ears. "It happened two years ago, after all."

"I hope she's doing better. It's not like we've heard much from her since she left. I have to clean this house! Oh god, it's a mess! You boys are pigs." You said frantically.

Eren snickered. "Well, it looks like you haven't gotten over your little crush."

"Shut it, Jaeger. I'm doing fine and, frankly, that's none of your business." Still pacing, you held your stomach as the nervous feeling grew.

"Yeah, it sure looks like you're fine." His lips pulled into a grin as he rolled his eyes.

"I think I'm going to faint."

"Do you need to lie down? You look a bit pale." Armin stood up and came to my side.

"I think I'll take a nap."

"You just woke up, smarty. Going back to bed already?" Jean chuckled. "I'm going to Marco's place. See you losers later."

A chorus of 'bye, Jeans' sounded throughout the room when he left through the garage door.

"Y/n, were you serious about cleaning the house? Because I have to go and I really don't want to clean so-"

"Yeah, Eren. You can leave, I don't care."

"You're the best! Thank you!" Eren chirped and practically skipped through the door.

"I have nowhere to be. So I guess I'll stick with you here." Armin smiled. "Do you need help with anything?"

"I'll be fine, thanks. Just nervous is all." You wrung your hands and blinked several times.

"Okay, I'll be in the office if you need anything." Armin patted your shoulder and left you alone in the large living room.

You quickly got to cleaning the house in a nervous frenzy, deep in thought. Mikasa had left one night almost two years ago after a heated situation between her and Jean that ultimately resulted in their breakup and Mikasa leaving the band with only a painful note left behind.

Apparently, there was more to the breakup than you knew, but Jean kept what we didn't hear to himself for Mikasa's sake. Essentially, Mikasa caught Jean and Marco together at a party Eren threw for his nineteenth birthday. You were with her when she saw them.

You and Mikasa were having a silly conversation in the long hallway in front of the dining room. Mikasa stopped looking at you and started focusing on something behind you. her small smile dropped. "and that's why I never- hey Mikasa? You okay? What are you looking at?" You stopped telling your story and became more concerned for your friend.

Confused, you turned around. You gasped loudly. "Oh Mikasa, I'm so sorry." You reached a hand out to her but she left the hall quickly. "Don't worry about it, Y/n. It's not a big deal." You watched her speedwalk up the stairs with her hand covering her mouth.

You confronted Jean calmly, not wanting to disturb the party, despite being furious. "Hey, Jean. the world can see you, dickbag. And so did your girlfriend. Have fun explaining this to her. She went upstairs. Find her yourself. If you even care enough to do so." You spat and darted away from them.

"Wait, Y/n!" Jean pushed past people as you swiftly made your way through the crowd in an attempt to find Eren. Normally, you'd look for Armin, but he was out of town for the night. You got to the kitchen and desperately glanced around. Jean took hold of your arm before you could get any farther. He turned you to face him and took note of your angry expression. "I'm sorry. let me explain."

You shoved him away from you. "Don't apologize to me. Don't explain anything to me. Tell it to your girlfriend. I'm finding Eren and ending this shitty party early. Frankly, Jean, I don't care what excuse you have." You kicked off your heels in a random spot and continued the search for your friend. Jean tried to follow you at first but gave up.

You pushed through crowds looking everywhere for Eren. "Where is he? Eren I need you," You muttered. You caught a glimpse of dark hair being pulled out of an updo. You took a sharp turn and bumped into someone. You fell backward on the floor and rubbed your side that you fell on. "Ouch."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going!" A girl with multiple party foods in her arms shouted apologetically. She hastily set down her collection and helped you up. I took a quick look around the room, Eren wasn't there. The brunette in front of me tilted her head. "Are you looking for someone? I can help you find them to make up for bumping into you. Hey, you're really pretty. Are you the guitarist from that band? Wait, so you live here? Oh no, I bumped into someone famous! Connie and Niccolo are gonna freak out when I tell them! I'm Sasha by the way. Your name is Y/n right?"

Taken aback by her rambling, and the fact that she recognized you, you stuttered for a bit before gaining your composure. "Yeah, I'm looking for a friend, actually. And that's me. I live here."

Sasha grinned. "Cool! Who are you looking for? I might know them." She linked her arm through yours and pulled you to the outside deck.

"I'm looking for Eren. Uh- Jaeger. My friend Eren Jaeger. I need to find him." Your voice sounded shaky.

"Me and him were partners in Professor Hange's science class back in high school! He invited me since we go way back." She opened the door and stepped outside. "Hey Y/n, you sound upset. Did something happen?" She unhooked your arm from hers and put her hands on your shoulders with a concerned stare. You were on the brink of tears and didn't want to cry in front of a stranger, but when you heard the caution in her tone you couldn't help but let some tears escape.

"Hey! Hey, hey Y/n, don't cry now. We'll find Eren." She pulled you in for a hug and you slowly accepted it. You weren't even the one who got cheated on yet you were the one crying. You were worried about the band. You were worried about the fight Eren and Jean were sure to get in. You were worried about what Armin would think. But most importantly, you were worried about Mikasa.

The thought of her locking herself in a room upstairs alone after what happened was enough to make you feel sick. You had to find Eren and end the party. You had to keep him calm once he found out. A part of you had always hoped they would break up, and you always felt extremely guilty about it, but you never hoped it would end in a way that hurt them both.

You quietly sobbed into sasha's clothed shoulder, definitely staining her frilly dress. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess right now." You stepped away and wiped your eyes several times.

"No, don't apologize. You don't have to tell me what happened, either. Let's go find Eren, yeah?" She gently took my face in her hands and wiped away at my tears. She hooked her arm through mine again as we continued our search for Eren.

We finally found him after looking for a good fifteen minutes. He was sitting alone on the front porch with a beer in hand, his hair a ragged mess. He took a swig of it and scowled at the taste. Sasha nodded to you and left you alone with him. You opened the glass door and stood awkwardly behind him.

"Hey, Eren."

"The party's inside." He said bitterly.

"I know." You sat down next him and smoothed out your dress in the process. "What are you doing out here at your own party? I've been looking for you everywhere."

He sighed. "I heard what happened. with Jean and Mikasa. He went looking for her so I assume he's found her, that was thirty minutes ago, give or take. I needed a break and came out here."

You let your head slump on his shoulder. He let out another long sigh. "I saw it happen. She ran upstairs so I came looking for you. I figured once I told you, you could end the party. That sounds ridiculous now, considering how many people came." You let out a dry laugh and felt him laugh along with you. His head rested on top of yours and he placed a gentle kiss on it.

"What are we gonna do now, Y/n? There’s no chance this'll go over well. The band could be ruined.” He paused and sighed. “I bet Armin would know what to do right about now."

"I bet he would." You took Eren's hand in yours. "I don't even want to think about what could happen."

"Neither do I. Do you want to stay out here a little while longer? We can go back in later." Eren offered.

"Yeah. That sounds nice."

posted: 8/23/21

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

#mikasa x you #mikasa x reader #snk fanfiction #aot fanfiction #mikasa ackerman #band au #modern au

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mrsedmercer · 5 years

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Steamy Love (Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Part 5: ~Let Them Find You~

Summary: You watch Crimson Peak with your best friend the night before the move, recieving a call before you get to bed.

Warnings: Light swearing, mention of smut from Crimson Peak, emotional talk.

Read it on my Wattpad: @/HiddlesStar

Word Count: 1'819

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr

Once you got back home, you spent the last 6 days streaming a bit more, making sure to pack up everything you needed bit by bit every day, packing the streaming equipment last of course. On the night before your flight, you invited your best friend over to watch Crimson Peak together, now that you finally have the time. Your friend had informed you that there apparently was a love scene between Tom and the actress from the live action Alice movies. Oh God. Was it graphic? You didn't ask. You wanted to see it for yourself.

Well-- Okay--

You didn't--

It's not that you WANTED to see it.

It's--It's a scene in the film--

J-Just watch the film.

As the movie went on, you talked with your friend every now again when it seemed like nothing too interesting was happening.

"So, you're all gonna be living in the same neighborhood?" Your friend asked you. "Yeah. It's all being rented out for a set." You replied. "It makes it easier to make it all look realistic. Like, it makes the set appear more natural, or so I'm guessing.." "You're gonna be neighbors with Tom Hiddleston. I swear to God.." Your friend ran their fingers through their hair. They were happy for you. "I know, I still haven't even processed it.." You gave a soft chuckle. "I have to be his love interest, oh my God..."

"You think there's gonna be a kissing scene?" Your friend asked. "Obviously. It's a romantic film." You replied. "I'm pretty sure there's gonna be more than one.." "Oh my God!" Your friend giggled. "You're gonna fuckin' kiss Tom Hiddleston!" "It's purely professional!" You stated, trying to hold back the urge to smile. "It's just acting.." "Your lips get to be on his! That's insane!"

"It's acting!"

"It's a kiss!"

You both started laughing a bit. You didn't want to admit how excited you were for the movie, for more reasons than one. You wanted to act professional about it, but your friend did have a point. While it was acting, it wasn't going to be a stunt double or anything. You'd really have to kiss Tom eventually. What if they make you do multiple takes? Sometimes simple scenes could be taken up to 10 times. Will you get to kiss him 10 times?

Shortly after that conversation was over, you continued to watch the movie with your best friend. Eventually, the love scene showed up. While your friend was a bit of a smiling and giggling mess, you watched with an interested expression. It wasn't lewd or sleazy. It was actually a pretty beautiful scene, especially knowing the context behind the scene. You had to cover your eyes slightly when his...'English Countryside' was shown, your friend just giggling even more.

"Oh my God!" They laughed. "That's actually his ass!" "Stoooppp.." You playfully spoke with a shy smile. "(Y/N), Look! He's got a pretty soft ass.." "Stooooooppppp!.." You giggled, finally able to look at the screen again after a moment, but the scene wasn't over.

"He kinda looks into it, eh?" Your friend smirked at you after calming down. "(BF/N), he's acting.." You gave a shy smile. "He looks into it because he's acting." Your friend clarified, making you give a bit of a shrug. "...Okay, he does look a little bit into it, actually.." You giggled slightly. He's a good actor.

Whenever a ghost or anything creepy would pop up, your friend would curl up and get all nervous, but it didn't bother you as much as you thought it would. The effects were pretty good, but it wasn't really scary. More so interesting.

By the end of the film, you were actually in tears. You didn't expect to get as emotional as you did. Once the film was done, your friend patted your back as you wiped your eyes.

"I didn't expect to cry.." You gave a little chuckle as you sniffled.

"Hit you hard, eh?" Your friend chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, I guess..." You chuckled back, blinking a bit to calm down. You definitely made a mental note to praise Tom's role in the film and the film itself. It was brilliant.

Your friend collected up atheir things once you turned off the TV, following them to the front door.

"Guess I won't be seein' you for a while, eh?" They asked you.

"I'm sure I can fly you down to visit the set eventually.." You smiled. You two would be apart for the first month or so. You'd miss hanging out, but you were still very excited to start your career.

You shared a warm hug before they gave a final little wave, closing the door as they left. You locked it and turned off the outside light, moving into your room to get ready for bed. You brushed your teeth and got into your pajamas, but before you'd get to lay down, your phone went off. You were getting a phone call.

You picked up your phone to check the Caller I.D.

It was Tom.

You immediately answered the call, of course.

"Hi.." You spoke in a soft tone, hearing a slight sigh from the other end before hearing his voice.

"Hi.." He spoke, his voice slightly raspy. Did he sound tired or sad? You weren't sure which.

"H-How are you?" You asked, quietly sitting down at the side of your bed. Another sigh left him.

"N-Not too good, if I'm being honest.." He admitted. "Been a bit of a rough night for me...wanted to talk to someone.."

Awe. You felt a little sad hearing that he wasn't in a good mood. He's always seemed like such a chipper man, as if their wasn't a single thing on this earth that could bring his positivity down.

"Who else have you called? Any family?" You asked curiously. You didn't mean to sound rude asking that. You were just curious.

"No, I called you first, actually.." Tom admitted. That immediately made you blush.

"M-Me?" You blinked, sitting up more.

"Yes, you.." He replied with a slight chuckle. You could practically hear his little smile grow. "I don't know, I just....wanted to hear your voice, I suppose.."

You felt your heart want to jump out of your chest. You had just listened to this man's voice in a movie, and now you're having a personal conversation with him. He's even using that natural charm of his. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's doing that. Either way, he's such a sweetheart.

"I hope that's alright." He spoke again.

"Y-Yeah! That's alright, I'm here.." You admitted with a little smile. He called you first? You almost didn't believe him, but it still warmed your heart.

"What's got you down?" You asked curiously, laying down somewhat with your upper torso still sitting up by leaning back against your pillows.

"I wouldn't say I'm down or sad.." Tom spoke. "More so...tired. Exhausted, even.."

"Exhausted?" You repeated.

"Mhmm.." He hummed. "It's a bit complicated to understand.."

"Try me.." You gave a slight confident smirk, even though he couldn't see it.

You got a little tired chuckle from him. His voice could sound pretty sexy sometimes.

"Ah, well...its just hard moving away from home over and over sometimes.." He admitted. "I had been on a couple dinner dates with a nice girl, but when I told her I'd have to be in America for the film, she didn't want to keep in touch.."

You gave a slight frown. You had heard Tom's public dating life was a bit of a mess, though you didn't believe it was his fault. The media tried to paint Tom as the bad guy, all because he's a man, but you could tell he wasn't like that.

"That's...shitty." You replied, earning another little chuckle from him.

"Yes. Very shitty, though I don't blame her.." He admitted. "Some people cannot handle being away from their partner for long periods of time.."

"Were you two actually together?" You asked.

"We weren't a couple, but I was nearly ready to ask her to go steady.." Tom admitted. That's how it's easy to tell that he's a sweetie. Go steady? That's an old fashioned term.

You loved it, of course. He's such a romantic. It's beautiful.

"You'll find a good girl for you someday, I'm sure." You spoke in an optimistic voice.

"I'm not sure the issue for me is finding a woman. It's keeping her close that I seem to struggle with.." Tom admitted with a slight sad sigh.

"Hey. Every man gets his leading lady.." You reassured with a warm smile.

"I know, I'm just...getting tired of searching, I guess." Tom admitted. "It's exhausting.."

"Then stop searching." You replied with a little shrug. "Maybe you don't need to be the one searching. Let the woman find you this time.."

You had hoped that was good advice. His silence became worrying, making you frown a little.

"...That makes a lot of sense, actually.." He admitted, his voice sounding softer. "Perhaps I'll take up that advice. Thank you.."

You could already hear that he was feeling a little better. That made you happy.

"Anytime." You spoke.

"You ready for tomorrow?"

"Oh definitely! The little neighborhood we get to live in is so quaint and small. I think it's perfect for the film." Tom approved.

"I agree!" You chirped. "You think we're gonna be neighbors?"

"We might." He replied in a positive tone. "I'm very excited to be working with you more."

"The feeling is definitely mutual.." You smiled to yourself. "I'll make sure to bring my best romantic side for the film.."

You got another chuckle from Tom. "Your best romantic side? Do you have multiple romantic sides?" Tom asked curiously. "Yep!" You chirped with a big smile.

"Ahh...perhaps I'd like to see every one of those sides one day.." He gave a little purr. You weren't sure what that meant, but you liked the sound of it. "Sounds pretty good to me.." You gave a slight chuckle, laying back more in bed.

"We've both got to get up rather early, so I guess I should goto sleep.." Tom spoke. You yourself hadn't realised how late it already was. You're not even gonna get 8 hours of sleep at this rate.

"But thank you for talking to me. I really will use that advice. You've really made me feel better."

"You're welcome.." You replied, giving a warmer smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Indeed you will.." Tom spoke in a happy, yet tired tone.

"Goodnight, (Y/N).."

"Goodnight, Tom.."

You both hung up.

You plugged in your phone and turned off all of the lights, looking at all of the suitcases you had waiting for you.

Tomorrow, your new life begins.

For now, get some rest. Tomorrow, you're Tom Hiddleston's leading lady.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #steamy love #fanfiction #fanfics

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colorfulstudentwinnerapricot · 3 years

Text

So this is something I wrote a while ago, before God/Chuck was ever bad...this is AN AU so no angel Cas or Hunter Dean. Btw this is super sad and may trigger those who are depressed or have suicidal tendicies. If any of you feel this way do not hesitate to contact me.

National suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Please do not post negativity on my work...if you like please tell me and I will do more with other characters and shows. Constructive criticism is welcome though.

I made the image for my wattpad series of oneshots that will also be uploaded on here, I did make the image when I was about 13 years old.

_________________________________________

*Castiels POV*

I was worried sick the day it first happened. I didn't know that the first time it happened it would happen again and again until he was lying in a coma, I didn't know that the man I love was going to die from his lungs collapsing on him, nor did I know that the day it happened would be the last day I saw his brother Sam who soon took his own life. I thought about it at times taking my life but then I remember the days we were happy like the day we went out to the park for the whole day and night...

(FLASHBACK)

We were laying on his baby, the '67 Chevy Impala his arm around me my head on his chest listening to the wonderful sound of his heartbeat that I learned to love but ultimately lost. We were just watching the stars not talking for a while

"Hey, Cas," asked Dean

"Yes," I said.

"I see our constellation," he said

"Which one," I asked my head burrowed into his jacket

"You see the clump of stars to the left over there," he asked

"Yes"

"Well that's the Perseus and Andromeda constellation and when they died they turned themselves into constellations so their love could stay in the stars forever so they could be together forever and that's going to be us one day," He said.

I smiled and asked, "promise?"

"No...I swear on the amount of love I have for you," he said.

"I love you too," I said and kissed him.

"Now let's sleep," said Dean.

I didn't realize then that it was going to be the last time I ever got to hold him without him in pain. That was the last time his face held a real smile. Dean Winchester was one hell of a man he was one hell of a lover but most importantly he was the only man I ever loved and cherished and when he died I died too...

It all started in early July he was a writer I was a cash clerk at a mini-mart, he needed chips I wanted his number it only took a week before I could get it and it only took me another week for me to figure out he was the love of my life.

"How much for the 6 pack of beer?" was the first thing he ever said to me the last was "I...Love.." the day they figured out what was wrong with him was the day he died with me in his arms just like the night in the impala. My head on his chest the tv was playing a show or movie but we didn't concentrate on that we were too focused on each other to care about it.

That night it rained harder than usual but the next day it was bright and sunny. The stars begged for my love got him and the sky cried for my love knowing my heart broke...knowing the only man I lived for died drove me insane.

The funeral was worse because people who came didn't know Dean like how Sam and I know him and it broke my heart seeing so many people who didn't even care to visit him let alone try to help him. People only knew Dean and me as friends but we were more than that we weren't just lovers we were like Perseus and Andromeda our love will be in the stars forever until the end of days and when the sun collapses on the earth and the moon burns up our solar system.

After that the only time I put a smile on was when Sam came over I had to be strong while he cried and for a while, it was that way and for a while, he tried to be strong and for a while, he succeeded but he was depressed to a point that one day I found him in his house fan to noose, noose to Sam. Sam passed on and is now with my Dean and his mother and father buried deep under the earth when he died he wrote a letter to me because I was the only one in his life left alive.

"Dear, Castiel

I'm sorry I couldn't be strong. I'm sorry I left you in this world alone I know it's hard because you loved my brother. I know it's hard I can see from the fake smile every day and the tear streaks on your face you're in pain, my brother was the only person I had he was the only family I had until I met you and you became my new brother and I prayed Dean would marry you someday but in the end, he couldn't. but I'm sorry I couldn't live I'm sorry I couldn't help you but know I'm now with Dean and mom and dad everyone I love except my other brother. You.

Love yours truly,

Sam Winchester

5/25/16

After that day I struggled and I turned to alcohol for a while until I realized that it did nothing so I went to see an old friend who wrote with Dean. Chuck helped me with everything even if he was struggling to...I'm living though I'm surviving these memories will haunt my dreams forever the love of my life will always be an arms reach never to touch nor to hear just see and it will agonize me every day and I will live in sadness until I die and until I can be happy and see my love again. But for now, I will be stuck in a reality without my Dean.

Love,

Castiel

"So today the visions aren't as bad nor are the memories I still wake up calling for Dean at night though. I will probably eventually either shoot myself or hang myself like Sammy did who knows my life is shitty and the only man I love is dead" is what I wanted to say to Chuck but instead, I said "I'm doing alright" which basically ruined the whole point of coming to this outing because I wanted to forget but instead he wants me to reminisce our good and bad days.

"Is there anything else you want to say?" he asked.

"uh I am finally writing in the journal you gave me for Christmas," I said

"that's great I hope you're writing the good memories in it too because it's meant to help not cause harm," he said.

"How are you?" I asked Chuck.

"I'm okay I met someone," he said.

"Oh, really who is she?" I asked trying to get the attention of me.

"Her name is Athena," he said

"What an odd name," I say without thinking about it.

"Ya I know but that's what makes it unique her name has so much meaning to it," he said a cheesy smile on his face.

"You're whipped," I say cracking a smile for the first time in forever.

That's when I realized that these little moments make up my life the little moments that I shared with Dean, Sam, and now Chuck. These little moments remind me that this is the reason why I haven't slit my wrist or put a bullet in my brain this is the reason why I haven't gone back to Dean. My guardian angel in plaid. And I plan to live a happy life for him maybe even adopt a child as he wanted. I don't know because life has so many options and I'm going to live them not for me but for Dean.

Thank you,

Castiel.

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #fanfic #wattpad #theysilencedyou

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