#okay okay I’m done I’m stopping now fuck

[landososcar]

espresso ; LN4

pairing(s) ; lando norris x fem driver!reader

summary ; in which yn says fuck it and drops a song while soft launching her (possibly problematic) relationship

warnings ; flufffffff & like one mention of christian horner (🤮)

note ; i apologise for the one post in here where i basically just fan girl over ria but who wouldn’t. +this is pretty long and i got lazy towards the end and couldn’t be bothered making team announcement posts lol

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youruser my give a fucks are on vacation 😝 espresso is YOURS!!! tonight after i demolish these old men 🫶

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user1 oh she is HER

lilymhe WIFFEEEEE

youruser AHHHHH IMMA MARRY YOU

alexalbon …i’m right here??

lilymhe IRRELEVANT

user2 I NEED IT NOW

bestfriend MY GIRLLLL‼️‼️💓💓💓💓

youruser I LOVEEE YOUUUUU

user3 i say we wave the chequered flag early so we get espresso now

landonorris ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

bestfriend lmfao

youruser 🧡

user4 EXVHSE ME?????????

user5 i love how she just disses half the grid and then just calls it a day

maxfewtrell helllll yeah

user6 maybe she’s never on the podium because she focuses more or singing than racing

user7 or because she’s in a fucking ALPINE

user8 y’all were SILENT when lh44 released music but suddenly it’s a problem when y/n does it

maxverstappen im not that old

youruser yeah okay grandpa

imessages !

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youruser i kissed @bestfriend in the club bathroom

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user1 IS THAT A MANNNN

youruser i sincerely apologise 😔

user2 guys do we think that’s mr espresso

bestfriend KISS ME AGAIN, FUCK *****

youruser omg don’t expose him😭

youruser but hell yeah come here gf😻😻😘

estebanocon my f1 teammate or my fav singer ?

youruser me when i’m both

user3 THE INITIAL NECKLACE ????? L?????

user4 omg y/n’s boyfie driving a mercedes ??? Y/N TO MERCEDES 2024‼️‼️‼️‼️

maxverstappen1 stream espresso

bestfriend yasss grandpa !!!

maxverstappen1 omg i try to do one thing nice and suddenly i’m catching strays

user5 IM WORKING LATTEEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGGERRRRR OH HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEEEE WRAPPED ROUND MY FINGEERRRRR

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landonorris can’t sleep

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user1 “SAY YOU CANT SLEEP BABY I KNOW THATS THAT ME ESPRESSO” LANDO NORRIS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

user2 THE SOFT LAUNCH IN THE SECOND PIC TOO OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING

user3 oh hes definitely always streaming espresso

maxverstappen1 what kind of thirst trap post is this mate

landonorris for her eyes only😁

bestfriend but you posted on the main ?

youruser UHM

youruser 💓💓💓💕🧡💘🖤💖🩷💞💙💗🖤💗🩷💝🩷❤️💕💚🤎🩷💕💜💖🖤❣️🩷💕❤️💜🤍💚🩷🧡🩵💛🤍🧡❤️💕💛💚💕💘🩷💞❤️💜💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

landonorris what happened to the soft launch baby

youruser you’re too hot i need people to know your MINE😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😘😘😘💓💓

youruser do you think about me every night😁😁😝

user4 oh she’s gone insane

user5 THE EMOJIS IM PISSING MYSELF SOMEONE SEDATE HER

bestfriend girl get UP

bestfriend what have you done to my gf

landonorris MYYYYY girlfriend🥰🥰🥰🥰

bestfriend bite me bitch

bereal !

caption: my two fav f1 drivers (excluding estie ofc🫶)

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youruser unfortunately, i was too hot for the car this week, we’ll get those old men next week 🫶

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user1 SHES FUCKING HILARIOUS

user2 maybe if she stopped making music and focused more on racing she wouldn’t have dnfed

landonorris the car had a issue with its breaks ? how was she gonna fix that. explain quick pls coz you’re an expert

user3 LANDO DEFENDING HER IMMA SOB

bestfriend babe you need a car that can handle hot sexy you are 😫😫 i don’t wake up at 3am on a monday morning to watch you nearly die 😝

youruser my sincerest apologies ma’am 🫡

bestfriend i love you tho🫶🫶

youruser if you really loved me you’d come to the race next week ??

youruser WAS I JUST AIRED

lilymhe we’ll ignore this week !! podium coming next week for my girl i can feel it

youruser 💓💓

user4 i can’t believe her and lando are dating, so unprofessional

landonorris GAHHHH I LOVE YOUUUUU

youruser STOP IT ILL CRY 💞💞💞 MY LOVE🥰

user5 surely her dating an opponent is bad for business

imessages !

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landonorris apparently is bad for business? sorry y/n/n’s pr team ig 🙏🤷‍♂️ but stream my girl’s new song‼️‼️

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youruser RIAAAAAAAA

user1 two tit pics in a row omg !?

youruser BABY IVE MISSED YOU COME SEE ME

landonorris 💓💓

youruser GIRL NO I WAS TALKING TO RIA SKRJSKJDJFKS

riabish STOP I LOVE YOU

landonorris wtf😭😭😭

user2 if ria has 0 fans, y/n is dead

youruser RIA PLS COME TO THE NEXT RACE I AM BEGGINGGGGGGGG

youruser make up some sort of reason and pretend quadrant need to come but then i’ll send you (and only you😉) an alpine pass 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

riabish my boss hasn’t planned a quadrant race visit for a couple more races babe😔

youruser JUST SENT YOU FLIGHT DETAILS ILL PICK YOU UP FROM THE AIRPORT WITH YOUR PADDOCK PASS

riabish MARRY ME

youruser FUCK YES AJDKSJAHHAHAH

landonorris guys i think i just lost my gf on a post i made dedicated to her

youruser yeah but you posted a pic of ria, so who was i actually paying attention to ??

youruser i love you so so sooooo much (im actually talking to you this time)

landonorris luv u 2 i guess

youruser nah wtf boutta unrelease this song

user3 what did we just witness

estebanocon you guys are insane

user4 omg bad for business is another banger

user5 when y/n can’t choose between f1 and singing so she just fucking EATS both

maxfewtrell when you ask y/n about her fav quadrant member and you expect her to say lando but you’re stupid and it’s ria without second thought

youruser you’re a close second place max🫶

landonorris wtf am i?? chopped liver?????

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landonorris & youruser added to their story

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youruser alpine ❤️ all 4 years that i’ve spent in formula 1 have been spent at this team and i now call everyone at the headquarters, garages, and races, family. thank you to everyone who’s made an impact to my life in any kind of way no matter how big or small, i appreciate it more than you will ever know. @estebanocon, thank you for being the best teammate i could ever ever everrrr ask for, you have grown with me and taught me so so many things. we’ve shared more laughs than probably any other teammates and moving to different teams will definitely not stop that.

there’s still the rest of the year until the end of this era and i know we’ll make the most of it. i’ll always remember alpine as the team that brought me in and made me the woman that i am today. the end of this season will definitely be tough but if it wasn’t sad then it would mean there was nothing to miss.

let’s have an amazing rest of the year, i love alpine and will never forget the time ive spent here 💙🩷💙🩷

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user1 IM SOBBING

user2 omg she loves alpine so much this is devastating why would they not re-sign her😭😭😭😭😭

user3 they couldn’t afford to re-sign both her AND esteban, mercedes offered her A LOT more money

landonorris so so so proud of you my love 💓💓

youruser 🫶🧡🧡

f1 never forget the first alpine driver line up after renault… keep pushing y/n!!

user4 ohhh she’s gonna EAATTT at mercedes

estebanocon going to send a mor private text to you now but thank you for everything y/n/n 🩷💙 (you’re also my favourite f1 driver)

lewishamilton ❤️❤️

lilymhe 💓

user5 omg the y/n to merc rumours were true

user6 it’s not even been confirmed yet lmfao for all we know she could’ve just got sacked by alpine and no one wants to pick her up

bestfriend soooo proud of you my girl 💞💞💞💞

riabish prouder than words can explain 🫶

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youruser HE FUCKING DID IT !!:!;&/&”!/!;”929/ MY BOYFRIEND IS A RACE WINNER AND IM SOBBING OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH LOOK HOW HAPPY😁

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user1 GIRL F1 AND MERCEDES JUST ANNOUNCED YOUR MOVE AND YOURE POSTING THIS LMFAOOO

landonorris WE DID IT BABY AHHHSHDHHAKA

youruser YOU DID IT MY LOVEEDJJRKEKR💓💓💓🧡💓🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🥰🥰😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰😻😻😻😻😻

user2 she’s so funny for just ignoring her merc move announcement 😭😭 she dgaf

user3 boyfie WON she doesn’t give a shit about mercedes rn, give her like 24 hours

bestfriend does this mean i can’t call him no wins anymore

riabish right!?? like, the one gp we go to and he has to go and steal our focus from our girl coz we gotta care about him at least a little bit

bestfriend exactly.. he’s so selfish like wtf

landonorris im so very very sorry

user4 FINALLYYYYYY

maxfewtrell 🧡🧡

youruser guys yes i know they announced my mercedes move! why are y’all acting like you didn’t know about it last week tho😭 i saw the tweets

#lando norris #lando #norris #ln4 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #lando norris smau #lando norris fluff #lando norris x reader #formula 1 fluff #lando norris imagine #smau #sabrina carpenter #charles leclerc #carlos sainz #max verstappen #ln4 one shot #lando norris one shot #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #lando norris fic #ln4 fic #ln4 x reader #espresso #landonorris #lando x reader #mclaren #ferrari #red bull

[crowned-aeris]

Part 1 is here!

More content from my brainworms 🤭

=====

Jason sneaks out in the dead of night with the pendant in his right hand, three fives in his hoodie pocket that he’d picked from Willis, and determination in his chest. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do this, but he’ll manage.

He walks to the nearest bus station, hyper-aware of all the people around him, some of which he recognizes as his future goons, and others as the people who've been pushed to the brink and resorted to working with the rougher rogues to survive and make ends meet. Jason wants to desperately help- to talk to them and warn them about their future- but it wouldn't do anything. As he was currently- a kid- he wouldn't be able to get anything done. No one would listen to him.

Jason sits down on the bus's perpetually sticky seats, trying not to grimace as he waited for the stop.

He mentally plans the route he'll be taking.

He could've gone for Dick first, but Jason doesn't think it would've worked. It's been a few days already, and if Dickface had retained his memory, then he would have already came knocking on Jason's door. Tim too, knowing that little genius stalker brain of his, nothing could've stopped him from accomplishing anything he set his mind to. Damian probably could too, but the brat’s barely concieved, and Jason doubts the league would let a literal infant out of their sight.

So, that’s why he was on his way to Timmy’s manor. Not only is Tim most definitely alone, he’s the easiest to reach.

As the bus halts at the stop closest to Bristol, Jason ignores the driver’s suspicious gaze and rushes off. He brushes his hand against his pocket knife (He’s not stupid, even in Bristol, Gotham was Gotham and the chance of death will never be less than 20%) and he begins walking.

He’s almost forgotten how- peaceful wasn’t quite the word- less terrible Gotham was earlier on in Bruce’s tenure as the Bat. Not only can he make out a few constellations, the sounds police sirens didn’t constantly fill the night… It moght’ve been after his death when everything started to go to shit.

Jason takes a deep breath, marveling at the cleanliness of the air. Sure, it wasn’t as clean as the country, but compare to Gotham when Damian became Robin, the atmosphere might as well be pure oxygen!

Halfway to the Drake Manor, Jason feels his legs grow sore and cramped. God, now more than ever he wished for his Robin training and post-death stamina. Was he ever this… weak?

Distantly, Jason hears the sound of the Batmobile rushing through the streets and shakes his head.

He was almost there. Tim’s bedroom lights were on and a shape was moving around.

Jason groans and breaks into a sprint despite his legs aching in complaint. Tim was, as he said, a creepy little stalker, and even at the ripe old age of six, he was already stalking the bats. Which, props to him, but Jason would rather not follow that weaselly little bastard through the roofs of Gotham.

“SHIT!” Jason curses, misjudging his momentum and slamming into the Drakes’ front door.

God, it hurt so fucking much, and- shit, his nose was bleeding…

But, silver lining and all that, because the door swings open to reveal a harried and panicked-looking Timothy Jackson Drake dressed head-to-toe black, with his hundred-dollar camera hanging around his neck.

God, Jason hates rich people.

“Are you okay?!” the six year old squeaks, lurching forward to stare uncertainly at him.

Well, that proves Jason’s theory. If Tim had all his memories, he would’ve pointed and laughed at him for being an idiot, and Jason would’ve tackled him, dick would get involved, they’d break a few things, and the cass would work with alfred to get them back in line…

(God, Jason wished they’d never gone on that stupid trip.)

“Do you think i’m fine?” Jason huffed, guilt filling his chest as he watched Tim’s face fall. God, sometimes he forgets that then younger Tim was still so… bright. He hadn’t grown into all his sass yet. “I didn’t mean that, kid-”

But it was in the small moments where he’s reminded of his little brother’s spirit.

Tim puffs up in offense, almost like a little cat of sorts, and narrows his eyes, “I’m not a kid! I’m six, and you’re not that old either!”

“Sure, buddy,” Jason rolls his eyes before reaching up with a bloodied hand and pinching his nose, careful to stick the pendant in his pocket where Tim couldn’t see it. “Can I get a little help now?”

“Oh!” just like that, the Tim Jason was used to dissipates, and the kid was back to his shy little self, “Right, sorry. Come in! I’ll go grab you some napkins- are you hungry? It’s really late, and- oh, we have some juice too! We have passion fruit, dragonfruit, starfruit, strawberry-”

“I’ll take passionfruit,” Jason interrupted with an amused smile, “if you have the time, add a dash of lemon juice, ice, and honey.”

He watches as the kid freezes before nodding. Passionfruit with lemon and honey… that was one of Tim’s favorite drinks as an adult, and he’d constantly bugged Jason to make him some. Honestly, rich people shit.

“Okay! Uhm, do you want to shower first? You- you’re covered in blood, and i don’t think that’s too comfortable…”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs, “Lead the way, Timbo.”

“Timbo?” the kid faltered and blinks in confusion, but continued to lead Jason toward the bathroom before handing him a change of clothes.

When he was alone, the sound of running water filling the room, Jason took out the pendant and stared at it… The urge to bash the stupid thing against the wall was near overpowering, but he didn’t know what would happen if he did, and Jason would rather not try his luck.

He quickly washes, scrubbing himself down and reveling with how the warm water soothed his aching muscles. While he was at it, Jason scrubs at his scalp and washes his hair with tim’s fancy-ass shampoo snd conditioner. God, he misses the good shit.

When he finished, jason picked dried himself and shoved the pendant into one of the pant pockets (batman themed. why wasn’t he surprised? wonder woman would be leagues better than bruce. Nightwing too, he’s kinda surprised- oh. yeah. shit, he forgot…)

He stretches, humming at how his back popped pleasantly before sauntering down the steps. Sometime during the shower, his nose had stopped bleeding. Thank god for that.

“Tim!” Jason called, yawning briefly as he saw the kid staring into the humming microwave. The kid startled before smiling, “Did you have a good shower?”

“Yeah, I did,” Jason nodded, “What are you making?”

“Food,” the kid replied easily, “they’re leftovers, do you want some?”

“Yeah sure, why not.”

As they ate, Jason wondered how the hell he was going to get the kid to remember. He hummed, feeling exhaustion pulling at his eyes as he finished with his portion of leftover spaghetti.

Tim looks over at him, “Are you tired?”

“Yeah,” Jasonsighs, “it’s been… a long couple of days.”

“Alright! We have a spare guestroom you can use, is that okay?”

Jason nodded. It’ll at least give him the time to think over how he’ll continue with his plan, “Yeah, sure. That’s fine. Lead the way, Tim.”

A few hours later, Jason was awaken by a shape pressing a knife to his throat.

He froze. His mind running through hundreds of different scenarios before he recognized the shape hovering over him.

“…Tim? What- what is this? Put the knife down, and we can-”

“How,” the kid interrupts with narrowed and blazing eyes, “do you know my name? I never told you who I am, and only the people who’ve worked with my parents know that I exist. Did someone send you to kidnap me?”

Jason blinked, running over the last few hours in his mind before realizing that yeah, oh shit, Tim was right. He never did tell Jason his name, did he?

“Okay, kid. I’m…” and then he sees a hint of golden scales peeking from the collar of the kid’s robin-themed sleep shirt, “My name is Jason Todd. You are Timothy Jackson Drake, the third Robin. I’m the second Robin, and… I come from the furture.”

Tim jolts away, taken aback by Jason’s words before becoming instantly suspicious, “You know my name, and you know I like Robin. Prove to me you’re from the future, and maybe i’ll trust you.”

Jason smiles despite the situation, because this was Tim. Tim wasn’t some scared and timid kid, he was an independent little narcoleptic gremlin who drank too much Monster, somehow caught the eye of Ra’s Al Ghul, lost his spleen, and could lie to Batman and get away with it.

“Here,” Jason said, gesturing for Tim to shuffle back before grabbing the pendant and tugging off his shirt. When Tim laid his eyes on the skeletal bird resting above Jason’s heart, his hand automatically drifts to the marking Jason was sure he had, “can i see your…”

Tim gave him an uncertain look, but Jason wasn’t too surprised. If some random creepy guy told him to take lf his shirt. Jason would’ve stabbed him and ran off.

“You have a knife, kid. If i tried doing anything, you could always stab me.”

“…Fine,” Tim bit out before shrugging off his shirt.

A golden snake stretched from the inside of Tim’s elbow, beautiful scales woven from gold coiled along the span of Tim’s arm before resting it’s head atop tim’s coller bone. Honestly? It was breathtaking, beautiful in a way that Jason envied, but it summarized Tim’s entire character pretty well. 

The pendant in Jason’s hand glows as it nears Tim’s golden snake.

“I want to test something,” Jason says, “i’m gonna touch this to the head of thr snake, and we’ll see what happens.”

Tim narrows his eyes, his grip on the knife tightening before he nods.

The pendant presses agasinst Tim’s collar for a brief second, and then everything begins to glow.

Tim’s eyes, the snake’s outline, the fucking pendant- literally everything was fucking glowing.

Jason clenched his jaws, forcing himself to remain still as his brother gasps in pain. Tim’s hans twitched and jerked, but, it was as if some- some force was holding him still.

Eventually, after a few agonizing seconds, the gold fades and Jason hurriedly yanks it away. He surges forward, pulling the knife out of tim’s hand before tossing it to the side, off of the bed and out of the way.

“Jay…”

“Yeah, timmy?” Jason leaned back, pulling his brother up before carding a hand through his hair.

Tim was quiet for a few moments before finally speaking, “We need to get Dick, and then Damian.”

“So,” Jason allows the amusement to fill his tone, “are you gonna hold a knife to their throat, too?”

“I will grab that knife and actually stab you,” Tim huffed, “leave you with a scar that matched Red Hood’s.”

Jason scoffed, but he couldn’t help the smile rising onto his lips, “Language, kid. Who taught you to say these things, baby bird?”

“Fuck off,” Tim hissed, “i’m tired, and I miss the big bird…”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “i do too… It’s whatever though. Go to sleep, Tim. We’ll try and grab him tomorrow.”

“Okay… Goodnight, Jay.”

“Night, Tim.”

And sure, it may be lonely with the rest of his siblings at his side, but at least he no longer had to spend this new (old?) life all by himself.

#tim drake #batman #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #fanfic #cursed object #time travel #damian wayne #please ask me questions #im going feral #the brainworms are real #they’re eating my brain in exchange for ideas #it’s great

[tonyboneysblog]

MOTHER HEN: PART SIX

parings: hawks x mother!reader

wordcount: 1.7k

warnings: none!

notes: TECHNICALLY ITS BEEN THREE DAYS. also hawks wtf are you doing in this fic bro….

summary: you, the mother of Fumikage Tokoyami, are just a simple nurse! Who caught the eye of a certain pro.

cold & scared.

That is how hawks feels at the moment, he’s getting fucking sick of these nightmares- they just get worse and worse.

he’s shaking, he can feel it.

he’s terrified to scream, doesn’t wanna wake you up- so only small grunts come out from him.

You wake up anyways, of course.

“Hawks?” Your voice calls to him, he’s still snug up next to you, using your chest as some makeshift pillow.

You shake him lightly, he wakes up with a gasp, heavy breathing.

“H-hey!” You grab onto him, cradling his head back to your chest.

He hears you whisper soft praises in his ear. he woke you up, he realizes.

“Y/n..?” He looks up at you.

“...are you okay?”

No, he’s not. He doesn’t want you to worry though, so he lies.

“I’m fine.”

“Hawks…you can tell me.” You caress his hair softly, it’s like you know his weakness.

But he can’t tell you, genuinely he can’t.

“Nightmares? I used to have them a lot too.” You smile nervously.

Of course you break his resolve with that.

He starts to ramble quickly, “Fuck- y/n I can’t stand them, they’re so scary I-i can’t-“

You rub his back, lovingly.

it makes him want to throw up.

especially after what he saw in that dream, you, hurt, screaming.

You make your way to his soft feathers, brushing through them softly, fixing them.

would that be considered preening?

“I don’t want to sleep anymore y/n, I can’t take it.”

Your heart breaks, Fumikage always dealt with nightmares after Ryuji.

Ryuji.

“Nightmares, they just get worse every night don’t they?” You say softly.

Hawks sighs, “I shouldn’t have bothered you with it.”

Ryujis quirk is dream manipulation, that’s how he always got you to apologize to him after an agreement.

After he and hawks little spat at the store, you bet Ryuji decided to torture him a bit.

You’ll stop those bad dreams for hawks.

You smile at him, “Don’t worry, they’ll be gone soon.”

then you kiss his temple.

you kiss his temple.

like you always did when Fumikage had a bad one.

Fucking muscle memory- always kicks you in the ass.

Hawks looks shocked, like he didn’t expect it, obviously because it was random.

“S-sorry, Fumi-“

“What are you trying to get out of me y/n?” Hawks looks at you hurt and confused.

Kinda like you reset the way he thought, or dealt with things- he always flirted with you so this probably didn’t help him.

It just hurt him since you always take the, “no romantic” approach.

“What?”

“I’ve been pinning you for weeks, a-and you just keep giving me these mixed signals?!” His voice raises slightly.

“I-I..well I don’t know hawks-“

“A-and then you asked me to kiss you last night? The same night you were flirting with some guy at the bar?”

Well you definitely did do that..

“Now- here you are comforting me like I’m some child.”

“Well.. I’m just used to Fumi-“

Hawks pulls himself away from your touch, “Just answer the question.”

You were dreading this slightly, you knew hawks was a little more flirty than most of your guy friends.

Truthfully, you didn’t know what you wanted.

You thought you did with Ryuji but…he hurt your son, your Fumikage.

You don’t want that ever happing again.

“Hawks..I want to be honest with you.”

“Then be honest, y/n.”

“I can’t, not after Ryuji.” Your voice is raw, you hated what Ryuji did, what he’s doing now.

“I can’t have someone hurt Fumikage like that again.”

He clutches his fists, “I’m a hero y/n, what do you expect from me- to hurt some kid?!”

“Well his father was a hero too and try and try to ask me where he is now.” You say bitterly.

Then it’s quiet, you could almost hear Ryuji for a minute.

Hawks gets up from your bed, “I’m done.”

“What..?”

He immediately rushes out of your home, past the kitchen, the one where he first gave you his number.

Past the hallway, the one where Ryuji hit your son.

Then out the door, he doesn’t even slam it.

He’s gentle, like he doesn’t wanna cause a ruckus.

Your face feels wet, tears are streaming down it.

Why couldn’t you just say nothing? why’d you have to tell him the truth?

Why did you say anything.

Fumikage opens the door, his face shifts into shock and runs over to you.

“Mother, what happened?” His voice filled with worry.

“Nothing, Fumi…just a bad dream.”

Fumikage hugs you, you hug back.

And you break.

Fumikage can feel his heart straining, he doesn’t know how to comfort you, he knows you’re not telling him the truth at the very least.

“I’m sorry Fumi.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, mom.”

And you cry, until you can’t anymore.

You’re probably just worrying Fumikage all over again.

You collect yourself, “I have to go run some errands..”

“Do you want me to come with?”

“No, no it’s okay.”

Fumikage doesn’t need to see him.

It’s only one errand anyways.

You stalk over to your car, you have work tomorrow morning- then the next week Fumikage has the sports festival.

You rack your brain with everything you need to do, what’s happening next week, trying to distract yourself from the days earlier events.

All while you drive to his house, getting out of the car, knocking on the door.

It’s opens.

“Y/n?” Ryuji says confused.

You look down at your feet, “Ryuji, please leave hawks alone.”

You hated looking at him.

Ryuji scoffs, “why, the poor baby can’t handle a couple bad dreams?”

“Ryuji…please.” You beg him softly.

You hated begging him.

You look up at him, you can tell his own quirk is taking a toll on him. His eyes are dark and purple, he’s looks pale.

“I know it’s effecting you too, I don’t want that for you Ryuji.”

You hated how you always lied.

“You and your charm, y/n.” Ryuji shakes his head.

“You have no reason to hurt hawks, we’re not even dating Ryuji-please.”

You hated how much you cared.

“Is that the only reason that you’re coming over here?” Ryuji says slowly, carefully, softly even.

“I know you’re sensible…with whatever love you still have for me in your heart- please use towards not harming hawks..he- he doesn’t deserve it.” You plead.

Ryuji sighs, thinking it over.

He looks down, kicking dirt slightly.

“Fine, it’s fucking exhausting for me anyways.”

You smile at him, “I can not begin to thank-“

“Now get off my property y/n, i gave you what you wanted.”

You nod quickly and walk over to your car.

Well convincing Ryuji was easier than you expected, then again he always listened to you.

Hawks on the other hand was doing no errands, did he have a job? Yes! did he want to do said job after the morning he just had?

no.

he was exhausted from all of these nightmares plaguing him, he though maybe sleeping next to you would help but no!

Even the hero’s could tell something was up, said hero was Mirko.

“What crawled up your ass this morning?”she cheerfully called to hawks.

“The usual.” He called back from his post.

Mirko smiles, “I got some coffee, get down here will ya?”

Hawks flies down next to mirko, where she almost hands him a nice coffee but when he goes to grab it…she pulls away?

“Nope, tell me what’s wrong first.”

He sighs and goes for the drink again, “Lady problems.”

Mirko bursts out laughing, effectively moving the coffee can away from his grasp.

“You and the lady’s man…you’re starting to act like a virgin yknow? Can’t ever keep a girl…” She smacks his shoulder.

But hawks doesn’t reply, or even laugh.

Mirko looks at him, “..seriously?”

“It’s hard to get your game on when you’re always busy Mirko…”

Mirko laughs again, clutching her stomach and flailing back and forth like a kid being tickled.

“God, that’s probably why your girl doesn’t want you!”

“She knows..”

“Oh really?”

“No, no she doesn’t know- why does that even matter?!” Hawks says with agitation.

Mirko plops the coffee can on his head, “depends, what typa girl is she?”

“Doesn’t matter, I left her earlier today cause she didn’t know what she wanted.”

Mirko shakes her head, “that’s how it’s like with the younger ones, hawks..they don’t know what they want!”

Hawks sighs and looks away, “she’s actually 32..”

Mirko stays quiet.

“And she has a kid.”

“Hawks, what the fuck.” Mirko says breathlessly, staring at the people crossing the street.

“And she had some type of abusive relationship before she met me.”

“gyad dayum, hawks that’s probably why she’s a little iffy, you numb nut..”

“Her son called me that too.”

Mirko gasps, “you met her son??”

The two of them are quite, hawks is a little glad he was able to let this off of his chest.

“And what did you say to her…cause I’m assuming you fought earlier today since you…’left her’”. She says the last part with quotations.

“I said I was done…” hawks looks away ashamed, regret filling his body.

He’s really liked you, would you forgive him for such a moment of weakness?

…would Fumikage forgive that…?

“Hawks-what are you doing man, get it together, you lost some traumatized milf- you know how many people want that?!”

“A lot?”

Mirko shoots up her hands, “yes- a lot of people!”

Mirko sighs, “I think you fumbled man…”

And hawks just stares at the ground, maybe he should apologize to you- no, nope hawks is not going to face you.

Truthfully he doesn’t like dealing with things he doesn’t have to deal with.

he still has your blanket.

Smells like you too.

“Hawks..”

“Mirko.”

Mirko pulls his ear, “Your ears are red”

“What should I do? I don’t really wanna talk to her..” hawks looks back up at Mirko.

“How olds her kid?”

“16.”

Mirko raises her voice, “Six-“ then she sighs, “why am I even surprised.”

“He goes to U.A. too”

Mirkos eyes light up, “that’s great, just wait til the sports festival and make him your sidekick!”

Hawks nods in agreement.

“Now I have to go on patrol” he throws the empty can towards Mirko.

Hawks then flies up towards the skys, thinking of you and Fumikage.

How he could possibly fix this.

well at least he has Mirko to guide him…?

TAG LIST: comment to be tagged😘😘

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everyone I see yall comment it lowkey makes my day better….DADDY TONY LOVES YOU GUYS.

#anime #fanfics #hawks x reader #takami keigo #bnha hawks #keigo x you #mha #mha takami keigo #spotify #hawks x y/n #takami keigo x reader #keigo x y/n #bnha keigo #keigo takami x reader #keigo takami #keigo x reader #mha fumikage #mha hawks #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #mother hen #mha mirko #bnha mirko #bnha #bnha x reader

[mickittotheman]

Hello can I ask for gallavich + 36 for the kisses prompt? Thank you 😄

Hello!!! Yes yes of course!

36. ...to give up control

Mickey didn't think the whole kiss thing would be a big deal.

Well, okay, scratch that. He’d known it would be a big deal. It had been a big deal. Had been a huge fucking deal and had left his heart racing and his lungs hitching and his lips tingling for hours afterwards, even through the chaos of getting shot in the fucking ass. 

But it wasn’t like– it wasn't some big thing. He just did it to prove a point, to prove he could, to get a one up on that creepy ass pedo hanging around Ian and taking him on dates and ordering him fucking room service. 

Except now he hasn’t been able to get it out of his head since. And he hasn't seen Ian since. And he’s kinda driving himself fucking insane.

It wasn't even an actual proper fucking kiss. No tongue action, no biting, no hot and heavy groaning. Just their lips smashed together awkwardly in the driveway of that fuckwad’s house, Mickey’s brothers just yards away. If that had been enough to get Mickey this worked up, what the fuck will it be like when they kiss for real?

If they kiss for real.

They probably will.

Fuck.

Mickey gets all tangled up in himself, the way he always does when it comes to stupid shit like this, stuff that shouldn’t mean anything but actually means everything and could absolutely get him killed but actually makes him feel more alive than he’s ever felt. He’s jittery when he goes in for his shift– the first one he’s working since being shot (again). He jumps at the sound of the bell chiming above his head. Tenses as he sees Ian’s head whip around towards the door.

“Mick!”

Mickey makes some non-committal grunting sound and beelines towards the donut case.

For the first few hours, it's fine. Ian doesn't bring it up, doesn't even hint at it. He’s got way bigger shit going down with his family to deal with. The stupid kiss probably isn't even a blip on his radar.

They end up in the freezer like they always do. They can’t fuck with Mickey’s bullet wounds, but he gets Ian off with his hands and Ian gets him off with his mouth, and it’s not as good as fucking but it gets the job done.

After, as they’re both grinning and panting and getting their belts situated, Ian tries to kiss him.

When Mickey pushes him away, it’s more out of habit than anything. He flushes, feeling stupid as hell, but Ian’s already smiling sheepishly and pulling away.

“Sorry. Should probably brush my teeth or something, huh?”

Mickey shrugs at him. Gnaws at his lower lip. Feels his breath hitch as Ian’s gaze darts down to his mouth.

Ian turns away and heads back up front.

+++

It keeps happening. The second time Mickey pushes him away–( when Ian tries to give him a fucking goodbye kiss like they’re fucking boyfriend and girlfriend)– Ian goes all quiet and sullen and mopey. 

The third time, he gets pissed. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

They’re in the freezer again. They’d only just stumbled in. Up until a second ago, Ian had been pressed up against him, hands groping every part of Mickey he could reach.

“What?” Mickey snaps, cheeks burning against the cold air, scowl firmly in place. He didn't even push him away this time! He made sure he didn’t, made damn well sure to keep his reflexes on lockdown, but he must have let some little twitch or flinch slip through the cracks because now Ian’s pulling back to glare at him.

“I am such an idiot,” Ian mutters. Mickey is inclined to agree. “I should have known better.”

Mickey bristles. “The fuck are you going on about now?”

“Oh please, you fucking know–”

Mickey gathers his wits and his guts and shuts him up with a kiss.

Ian tenses, then melts, lips softening under Mickey’s, bigass hands coming up to slide through Mickey’s hair. 

Mickey’s breath hitches. He lets out this weird little noise. He pulls back.

Ian’s lips chase after his, and Mickey flinches, and just like that Ian’s tense again. “Stop doing that–”

“I’m not fucking flinching like a little bitch on purpose–”

“Not that,” Ian scoffs. He tightens his fingers in Mickey’s hair when Mickey tries to pull away. “Stop kissing me just to prove a fucking point!”

“I thought you wanted me to kiss you–”

“I want you to want to kiss me! I want it to mean something! Instead you’re just using it to– to– to try and fucking gain control–”

“Jesus fucking christ, Ian, stop being such a girl!”

Ian huffs and pulls away, and he’s right, he is an idiot, because how can he not fucking get it?

“It’s not– I’m not–” Mickey cuts off with a low growl. Scrubs hard at his mouth, trying to force the words out, because he knows he can barely fucking offer Ian anything but he’s gotta at least give him something. “When I– When I kiss you, or whatever,” Mickey starts again, skin hot and face flushed and every bone in his body protesting, “I’m not tryna fucking control you.”

There’s more he could say. Like how every time he kisses Ian he’s giving up the meager amount of control he has, how that fucking scares him and exhilarates him and maybe that makes him a pussy but its the fucking truth, how he’s trying, really fucking trying, and he needs Ian to see that.

He doesn't say any of that shit. But he thinks Ian gets it anyways.

Ian stares at him for a long moment with that weirdass intense look he sometimes gets in his eyes. “So you do want to kiss me?”

Mickey rolls his eyes and tries not to squirm. “The fuck do you think?”

“And you want me to kiss you?”

Mickey shrugs. Nods, just once, the movement sharp and short and jerky.

Ian squints at him for another eternity before taking a deep breath. He brings his hands up slow, works his fingers into Mickey’s hair again, and when he leans in Mickey still flinches except this time Ian doesn’t stop. He seals their lips together, steady and sure, and doesn’t give Mickey more than a split second to adjust before darting his tongue out.

Mickey gasps, just a bit. It’s enough to give Ian the leeway he needs to work Mickey’s mouth open further.

Holy fuck.

Mickey gets his hands on Ian’s hips to wrench him closer. Ian retaliates by yanking on Mickey’s hair, tugging until Mickey’s head is angled just right, and Mickey has to pull back enough to suck in a sharp breath. 

“Fuck, Mickey,” Ian hums. “You taste so fucking good.”

Mickey sincerely fucking doubts that– knows for a fact that his mouth tastes like cigarettes and burnt coffee and the chocolate bar he scarfed down earlier– but then Ian bites down hard on Mickey’s lower lip and Mickey loses his train of thought.

And maybe kissing ain’t such a big fucking deal afterall. And maybe, just maybe, it’s a huge fucking deal.

send me a number~

#prompt games #gallavich #my scribblings #i am so sorry this took so long i hope it was worth the wait!

[moondustpugh]

Midnight Rain

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: The glitz and glamour of Hollywood isn't always what it seems. When Joe had started working with you in a movie, he had started wondering as to why you, the famous Hollywood starlet, has been acting out lately. Was there some dark secret behind all the angry spoiled façade? And why was he so fascinated about it?

Author's Note: Okay, part four. As I mentioned before starting this series, this fic could get dark and the part has finally arrived. So, just take this as a warning. Anyway, comments are always welcome! 🫶🏼

Disclaimer: 18+, mention of suicide, mention of SH.

Wordcount: 3.9K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Your bedroom doors muffled the screams that you were yelling at Skyler the next morning. It was the Paris premiere of your movie, and the rest of your team were sitting in your living room, waiting for you to stop acting out. An awkward silence blanketed the living room as everyone in your team exchanged looks. They have been sitting in the living room for about an hour now and the premiere starts in two hours and until now, you were still inside your room just screaming your lungs out. The screaming and acting out wasn’t new to your team anymore. At this point, they were used to it but the fact that you were going to be late for your own movie premiere was making everyone anxious.

“Why would they write this?!” You yelled at Skyler, who was already stressed. “You know it’s not true! I didn’t even want a sequel for this movie!”

You paced back and forth in front of Skyler. Your hair was in a messy ponytail, you were still in your robe, and you were sure that you didn’t even want to go to this premiere. All hell would break loose first before you would go out there and show your face. Not after this article. Not after everyone had already looked at you like you were a tarnished woman for the past two years. 

“Can you please calm down?” Skyler’s voice was soft. “You think I’m not trying my best to fix this? It’s just a rumor. They don’t have evidence for this.”

You scoffed, shaking your head and paused in your tracks. You glared at Skyler, your eyes full of hurt.

“No evidence.” You murmured, letting out a scoff. “That’s what you always say.”

“Well, there isn't.” Skyler stated sternly.

You shook your head repeatedly, disbelief at her answer. “And you expect me to go out there on the red carpet and pose for pictures with him? This is fucking bullshit, Skyler!”

Skyler let out a scoff, frustrated and angry as she threw her tablet on your bed. She took a step closer to you, grabbing you by the arm to stop you in your tracks before you could start pacing again.

“Then, what do you want to do, huh?!” Skyler raised her voice, her eyes widened in anger. “You want to go and run off again? Just like what you did a few months ago?! Go ahead!” She pulled your arm violently as you winced in pain. “Let’s see if there’s still a career waiting for you when you come back because I’m done! I’m done trying to understand you and I’m certainly done trying to help you!” 

Skyler let go of your arm, leaving fingerprint marks on them. Your nostrils flared, and your eyes filled with anger. The fire inside of you was blazing as your chest started heaving. You couldn’t help but bark out a sarcastic laugh from Skyler’s warning. 

“You never helped me!” You exclaimed, feeling the tears welled up in your eyes. “I told you what was happening and what did you tell me?! You told me to take this movie offer instead! Not once you ever believed what I told you!”

“There was no evidence for us to accuse him!” Skyler argued.

You shook your head, letting out a deep breath. You couldn’t believe that she was still standing by the same statement. 

“That’s the thing right, Skyler?” You felt a tear rolled down your cheek. “There’s always no evidence when it comes to your perspective, but what about my words? What about what I have experienced?”

Skyler rolled her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic! We all know you’re just acting like this to get attention.”

You let out a deep breath as more tears streamed down your face. You could feel your heart shatter in pieces, your body feeling more and more numb as you heard what Skyler just told you. She was the one person that was with you since you started this career and the fact that she was saying this to you right now, you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe the fact that you thought she was someone you could trust. You couldn’t believe that you ever thought she was more than just your manager and that she was also your friend. 

You swallowed the emotions that were coming up in your throat. “You know…” You whispered, looking down on the floor. “It was fine if we couldn’t accuse him, but you could have at least believed me.” 

Skyler stood there in front of you, quiet for a moment. She shook her head and grabbed the tablet from your bed. 

“After what you have been acting, how could I believe you?” Skyler replied.

You pursed your lips, nodding your head at Skyler. More anger was starting to come up in your emotions and you knew this time, no one was stopping for it to come out. Not even you could stop it yourself. Turning the door handle of your bedroom, you saw everyone’s eyes turned to you as soon as you walked out. You looked like a mess with your red, puffy eyes and the tears that were currently streaming down your face. Everyone exchanged looks as you studied each of their faces in the room.

“Honey, are you okay?” Cameron asked, breaking the silence. 

“You’re all fired.” You murmured. 

Silence blanketed the room as everyone just stared at you, stunned. You felt Skyler’s presence behind you, and you could tell she was shaking her head. You didn’t have to turn around to know how she was reacting right now. 

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?!” You exclaimed. “You’re all fired!”

Everyone got up from where they were sitting slowly, reluctant if you were actually being serious. You shifted your eyes towards the makeup brushes that were sitting on the table. You grabbed one of them and started throwing it at everyone as you sobbed. 

“Get out!” You yelled. “I said get out! Get out all of you!!!”

Your vision and mind blurred. You didn’t know what you were grabbing anymore, but you were just lashing out at everyone as they all quickly ran out the door. You were grabbing towels, dresses, makeup brushes, lipsticks, hair brushes and whatever else that you could just grab and launched all of it at everyone until they were all out of the door. Your tears were streaming down your face as you continued to just throw everything until your whole suite was a mess. 

Until your energy was gone. 

You pulled the curtains on your windows and screamed in anger as you kept throwing everything on the floor until there was nothing left. Until everything was broken and ripped. Until you had let out all your anger, and you had slid your back against the wall and sat on the floor, sobbing your eyes out. You brought your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them. 

You just wanted to die.

“Have you heard from her team?” Joe asked Alex in his hotel suite. 

They just finished getting him ready, but Joe’s attention had been on the article that was on his tablet. He heard about the news first thing this morning and ever since then, he kept asking Alex how you were doing. He kept asking if he heard anything from you or your team. He knew this was going to affect you so much, and he certainly knew the article wasn’t true. 

Alex shook his head at Joe, “Just focus on today’s premiere, Joe. She has her team to deal with this damage.” 

Alex’s assistant entered the room and immediately, Joe and Alex turned to face him. Joe was anxious, and he hoped that he had some news about you.

“She’s not coming.” Alex’s assistant said. “She fired everyone, apparently.”

Joe let his first instinct lead him as he immediately got up from the sofa, his eyes full of worry. Alex snapped his head towards Joe, shaking his head and giving him a warning look. 

“What did I just say?” Alex said, raising his brows at Joe.

“Alex, she needs someone.” Joe argued. 

“And that someone is not you.” Alex argued. “Don’t dip into her business. This could destroy your own reputation.”

“I get it. I get that none of you care, but I do. She’s my friend.” Joe retorted back. “If she needs me, then I’m gonna be there for her.”

“Joe.” Alex gave him a glare. 

Joe made his way towards the door and looked over his shoulder for a moment. 

“I’m sorry, Alex, but I made a promise. Many people have already destroyed their promises to her. I’m not gonna be one of them.” 

Just like that, Joe opened the door and walked out of his suite. His legs led him towards the elevators, and he immediately pressed the button to your floor. His foot tapped anxiously as he waited for the elevator to stop. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he sped walked down the hall and towards your room. The door was ajar, and he could hear your small sobs coming through the door. Knocking softly, he pushed the door open and found the room into a complete mess. Dresses, makeup brushes, pillows and anything he could think of were sprawled all over the floor. Lamps were on the floor, and the curtains on your windows were all ripped. 

His eyes studied the room until he found you on the corner with your knees to your chest. You laid your head against your knees, and your eyes were staring into the empty nothingness in front of you. A tear rolled down your cheek, and you felt nothing but just hollow on the inside. 

Joe slowly walked up to you, knelt down in front of you and set a hand on your arm.

“Hey.” His voice was soft.

Right before he could even say anything or do anything else, you unwrap your arms from your legs and immediately crash your body against his. You sobbed on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Joe whispered, embracing you tightly. “I’m right here.”

Joe could feel your body trembling in his arms as you buried your face on his shoulder. He sat on the floor, pulling you close in his arms as you sobbed every single emotion you were feeling. You sobbed on his shoulder until your tears were left to dry. You sobbed until there was nothing left but just your beating heart and petrified body. Joe could feel all your pain through your sobs, and he wished he could do something about it. He wished he could take it away even just an ounce of it. 

He hated seeing you like this.

He certainly hated the fact that you were in so much pain. More pain than he never even realized before. 

“What happened? What’s going on?” Joe asked, his voice almost a whisper the moment you slowly let go from his arms. 

You sniffed and wiped your nose with the back of your hand as you shook your head, slowly closing your eyes. 

“No one understands… No one will.” You wept.

Joe moved closer to you, his hand holding yours. “Try me. Help me help you understand.”

Slowly, you fluttered your eyes open, gazing up at Joe. He looked so worried about you, and you hated how you could make him feel like this. You hated that you kept hurting everyone around you because of your own personal problems. The warm sincere energy that he has was radiating off of him as he squeezed your hand softly and waited until you were ready to talk.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy.” You said, tears welling up in your eyes. 

Joe took your face between his hands, wiping the tears that rolled down your cheeks. His chocolate button eyes staring into yours. 

“There’s nothing for you to say or do to make me think that you’re crazy.” Joe stated. “Whatever it is, I’m here. No matter what.”

Your lips trembled in fear as you took a deep breath. You were so scared. Joe was the only person that started to understand and be there for you, and you didn’t want to lose him. You didn’t want him to look at you differently, but he said you were friends. He said friends guide each other and accept each other, right? 

“About a year and a half ago…” You wiped your tears, exhaling a sharp breath. “Skyler offered me this audition for a movie. It was supposed to be big. She said it would add greatly into the list of movies I already did.”

You could feel all the emotions washing over you as you looked away for a moment, another tear rolled down your cheek as Joe wiped it away. 

“I went to the audition.” You continued. “Director said I was great and to come back for a callback and when I did, he…” 

Tears streamed down your face again as you looked down on your lap and squeezed Joe’s hand. You sobbed quietly as you repeatedly shook your head. Memories of what happened then replayed back in your mind, and you just wanted to vomit. You felt disgusting, and you felt disgusted with yourself. Joe knitted his brows together as he pulled you in his arms. He could feel the anger rushing in his veins. He didn’t need to hear what you had to say because he knew exactly what happened, and he was disgusted by everyone who kept treating you like this. 

“He trapped me in his office, and he wanted me to…” You said through your sobs as Joe wiped the tears on your face.

“Shh…” Joe cooed, embracing you in his arms. “You don’t have to continue…”

He now knew the pain that you have been holding inside of you for so long and suddenly, everything made sense in his mind. Suddenly, the puzzle pieces had come together. 

“I want to…” You said. “I want to be honest with you.”

Joe pulled away for a moment, his eyes staring into yours. “What happened?”

“He tried… to touch me. Tried to take my clothes off. Luckily, I was able to escape.”

Joe took a deep breath as he brushed away the strands of hair away from your face. He could feel his heart breaking as you continued to talk. He could see every pain that you have been keeping through your eyes and all he wanted to do was take it all away. 

“I told Skyler about it.” You wiped the remaining tears on your face and gazed down on your lap. “Told her everything that happened, and she didn’t believe me. She said it’s fine if I didn’t get the role because she has this other movie for me, and you were going to be in it. That you were a rising star, so it’s going to be fine. Not once did she ask if I was okay or if there’s something we could do about it.”

“I’m so sorry.” That was all Joe could manage.

What else could he say? What could he do to take away all of this? The fact that he couldn’t do anything about it made him feel useless. Although, that wasn’t the big problem in his mind. The problem was that none of the people that you trusted believed you. None of them did anything to help you. They left you in the dark corner and had the audacity to complain when you felt angry about it. It made Joe angry about all of it. 

The incident with your panic attack yesterday was just the tip of the iceberg. No one truly cared about what happened to you. You were screaming this whole time for help, and they all blocked it out. The frustration and anger injected through Joe’s veins as he held you in his arms. 

“After that, I…” You sighed, shaking your head. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. I didn’t want to do anything. I feel so… I feel so numb. I feel like I was crazy for acting like that. They made me feel like I was being dramatic about it.”

“Hey, listen to me.” Joe cupped your face between his hands, his eyes staring deeply into yours. “You’re not being dramatic. You were a victim, and they should have said or did something. What happened to you was not okay. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are crazy because you’re not, okay?” 

Exhaling a sharp breath, Joe sat there for a moment as you tried to gather yourself together. Wiping the remaining tears that were on your face, you played with your fingers anxiously for a moment. Joe had finally broken down the wall that you have put up and all this time, he didn’t expect for someone to be in so much pain on the other side of it. He didn’t know that you were slowly dying on the other side, and no one was there to try and get you out of it. 

In the silence that blanketed the room, Joe promised himself that he would never let you go back in there again. He promised himself that he was going to take you far far away from that room that you have trapped yourself in. 

He promised himself that he would set you free, and you would be happy. 

“You know, I was so angry?” You gazed up at him, breaking the silence. “I’m so angry about everything. I kept asking myself why? What did I do for him to think that was okay?” 

You gazed up at the ceiling for a moment, shaking your head as you tried to hold in the tears that won’t stop coming. 

“Everytime I look at my team, I know they’re judging me. They look at me like I’m so dirty, and I just wanted to lash out because they tell me they care about me but the truth is, they never did.” You scoffed. “My friends left me. They told me that I’m being too much and to just get it over with because he technically didn’t touch me.”

“That’s not right. You were a victim, and they should have helped you.” Joe shook his head, reeling you into his arms once again. “C’mere.”

Taking a deep shaky breath, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he hugged you tightly. You were afraid that you were going to crumble in his arms if you continued to talk more about it at this moment. His warm and safe arms were the only thing that you were holding onto at this point. The fear that washed over you about Joe seeing you differently after he knew the truth had faded away. 

He was still here.

He stayed.

He didn’t leave and most certainly, he listened to what you had to say without any judgment. Pressing your face on his neck, you fluttered your eyes close, inhaling his scent and letting your body finally relax in his arms. Joe’s mind, however, kept pondering with different thoughts. It kept dwelling over the fact that he was angry at the people that were supposed to support you. They were supposed to be the one who should be there for you. Instead, they ignored you. He still couldn’t believe that. His mind then wandered back the other night when you had gotten angry at him for touching you. 

Now, everything made sense. 

As he felt your body relax in his arms, he gazed down at you as his fingers softly stroke your hair. Your breathing was back to a steady pace, and he could tell that you were exhausted. Getting up from the floor, he carried you in his arms and walked towards your bedroom. He sets you gently on the bed and grabs the comforter to tuck you in. 

“Please, stay.” You quickly took his hand in yours, fluttering your eyes open. 

Joe nodded his head, walking around the other side of the bed and laid himself next to you. He tried to keep his hands to himself as he laid there and gazed up at the ceiling. He wanted you to rest. He was still in his suit, and he had no idea what his team was thinking right now about the both of you skipping this premiere. Though, that wasn’t his priority at the moment. He wanted you to be okay. He wanted you to feel safe. 

You turned your body to face him as you moved closer to him. Joe saw the look in your eyes as he wrapped an arm around you, and you laid your head on his chest.

“I ran away after that, you know?” You murmured.

“Where did you go?”

“Switzerland.”

Joe let out a soft hum as he softly caressed your arm. “Switzerland is nice.”

You nodded your head, closing your eyes slowly. “Especially in the Winter. The Christmas Market is nice.”

Joe smiled softly as he gazed down at you, who looked so peaceful for the first time in his arms. He softly stroked your hair and said, “I believe you, you know.”

Fluttering your eyes open, you gazed up at him and a small reassuring smile tugged on your lips. 

“I know.” You murmured. 

“I still don’t understand why you keep calling me John though.” Joe teased, making the both of you chuckle softly.

The air in the room suddenly lightened as you suppressed a soft laugh and shook your head as to how ridiculous it was. 

“Part of the act, I guess.” You said. 

Joe slowly sat on your bed, letting yourself do the same. His eyes studied yours before he gently cupped your face with his hand and his thumb gently caressed your soft butterfly skin. 

“You don’t have to act around me. I like the real you. Actually, I’m so fascinated by the real you.” 

Leaning against his touch, you let out a deep breath and said, “What if you only think that and you eventually regret it?”

“Never.” Joe reassured you. 

“Y…You don’t know the real me.” You said, staring into his eyes. 

Joe cleared his throat, hanging his head low for a moment before he let out an embarrassed laugh and said, “I have been…um… googling and watching your old interviews.”

You raised your brows, tilting your head at Joe, “Why?”

“Like I said… I was fascinated. I was… interested.” 

Joe’s warm smile made a knot in your stomach, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. It was a safe feeling. A feeling of being understood. You didn’t realize that someone could be like this to you. You couldn’t understand why because what did you even do to deserve someone like Joe in your life? How could someone care so much and take their time to actually get to know you? To get to know the real you that you have been hiding. How could someone have that much patience and understanding? 

Taking your hand in his, Joe squeezed it softly. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me.” Joe reassured you. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, squeezing his hands softly. 

Reeling you in his arms, Joe embraced you tightly and as you buried your face on his shoulder, your mind had started pinwheeling again. Though, they weren’t overthinking thoughts this time. This time, you couldn’t help but think that for the first time ever, you felt understood and protected. For the first time, that warm good feeling washed over you, and you felt at peace.

In Joe’s presence and arms, you felt lighter. 

*********

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @munsonluvrr @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name @readergf @ladamari68 @1paire2vans @d4rk4ng3l86 @paleidiot @josephquinnsfreckles @readergf

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joe Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joseph Quinn Fanfics #Joe Quinn Fanfics #Joseph Quinn rpf #Joe Quinn rpf #midnight rain #part four #moondustpugh

[its-your-mind]

okay well I know I said I wasn’t watching tonight and I’m STILL NOT but ALSO I did see pics of the new art and 1. I love it all so much they are all. Very pretty. Ashton and Dorian specifically did make me briefly black out. Friends you are going into the snow wtf are you doing but also don’t stop doing it holy SHIT I bet Orym just got a nosebleed as soon as he saw both of them anyways speaking of Orym 2. ORYM. MY BBY MY BOY. Two things. First I love the bluebells he’s growing bc that’s his DORIAN flower and that’s cute as fuck but SECOND AND MORE IMPORTANTLY he is growing!! His!! Hair!! Out!!!!!! Do you understand me???? It’s long enough to curl! It’s got enough weight to it to hang down over his face!!

(and you KNOW this was an intentional decision on the part of Liam “Caleb shaved his beard as soon as they got to xhorhas but let his red hair grow long and started to take care of it” O’Brien. He knows what he’s doing.)

I have been having so fucking many thoughts about Orym and his responsibility to his husband and dad and keyleth and his people and the hells and dorian and and and and. and I’m Not gonna be able to get them all into one post I think but Y’ALL. He is Intentionally ditching the military haircut. That’s the kinda haircut you gotta Maintain, ESPECIALLY if your hair curls (trust me — my undercut is on a Strict Schedule bc if I don’t shave it back every month or so it just becomes a field of curly-cues beneath my long hair). My boy Orym keep that cut Sharp and Precise for five years of wandering mostly alone. There hasn’t been any commanding officer telling him to cut it since he left home. But he kept doing it!!

I’m sure it was part routine, but it was absolutely also a connection to home and to the responsibility he had taken on, which we KNOW at its core was a responsibility to his husband and father. They were soldiers. So was he. They wouldn’t stop fighting. Neither would he.

And the Hells found the killer! Found out why the attack had happened! Reported it all back to keyleth, even! Orym did his duty - he hasn’t been an active air ashari soldier for a while now, even if his five years away counted as official business.

But he kept the military cut.

Until now.

Until after he had finally helped to kill the woman who had struck down the man he loved and the man who raised him.

Until after Dorian came back, only one day after Orym begged him, not because Orym needed his help, just because Orym needed him.

And so Orym wears his Ashari armor, is working to advance the world-preserving efforts of the Tempest, but he also lets his hair grow out, and he adorns himself in bluebells.

When Orym died on the end of Otohan’s blade, Will sent him back. Told him he wasn’t done.

Will wasn’t talking about a mission from the Tempest, or his own need to be avenged. Orym knew that then. He knows that now.

But Orym did still feel the responsibility to his family and to his people, to end the threat. And even though it was only a small part of a greater danger, it is still a threat neutralized. Now, there’s this freedom, this world of possibility that wasn’t there while Otohan was still alive.

And yes, things are horrible. They’ve all just lost a dear friend. It’s causing internal ruptures and dangers and it’s still possible the world will end soon. He’s made a lifelong deal with an Archhag. He’s still not sure what his responsibility is to the Tempest.

But Dorian’s here, now. Back by his side.

And Orym decides to let his hair grow out. Just this once. What the hells, right? Everything is changing. The world might end. Might as well see what kind of person he can grow into before he’s done.

#critical role #bells hells #THIS POST HAS BEEN BUILDING IN MY HEAD FOR WEEKS #THANK YIU NEW CHARACTER ART FOR THE GIFT OF A HAIRSTYLE THAT I COULD PIN THESE THOUGHTS TO #ANYWAY DONT LET ANYONE DIE TONIGHT GUYS IM STILL NOT ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT ILU ALL STAY SAFE OR AT LEAST ALIVE #cr spoilers #cr3 #c3 #c3 spoilers #cr3 spoilers #orym of the air ashari #c3e96

[allnelia]

A Night At The Cinema

| with Kento Nanami. This is smut. This story includes..

oral s3x, ejaculation, erection, and s3x. Enjoy my sluts |

“Come on babe we’re gonna be late.” This wasn’t the first time you’ve been in a date with Nanami. “Darling give me a second to pay alright? Every thing is going to be okay my love the previews are probably barley starting.” He reassured you. You two were running late because he got held up at work. He looked so tired. He was always so busy lately, but he promised he’d make it up to you by taking you to see the movie you’d be talking about for ages now. “Let’s go!” you say running and pulling his veiny arms behind you. You manage to find your seat. “Ah there it is.” You continue to pull him by the arm as you two sit down. “Perfect timing!” you say with a smile as you look at Nanami’s tired looking eyes. You were too excited to even worry about popcorn but looking down at your empty hands you couldn’t help but to crave it. Before you could open your mouth he began to say, “A small popcorn and a bag of skittles my love?” He knew you so well. You nodded back as a response. He leaves and comes back within 2 minutes, damn he’s fast. Time flies as your enjoying the movie. You look down at the popcorn bag and it’s empty. “I guess you can have the skittles I’m kinda..” You look over and Nanami is dosing off. Fighting for his life to stay awake. You’ve always wanted to see this movie but you didn’t wanna wake him up either. “Babe are you okay?” you said. “Yes, darling i’m just fine is everything okay?” he said. “Everything’s just fine it’s just that you seem tired.” “No. I’m not tired I’m just resting my eyes darling” he always lied to make you feel better. “Okay!” you said and you leaned in for a kiss. His eyes lit up as you pulled away from the french intimate kiss. “I’m surely awake now love” you roll your eyes. it’s been weeks since you guys have done it. “Is that so?” you say as you caress his thigh. “Good cus’ i heard this parts good” He continues to look at you even though your focus has shifted to the screen. You move your hand up his thigh and you feel his hard c*ck underneath your hand. You feel it jump at you. “Baby…” says Nanami. “Yes love?” You look at his deep green eyes. “Could you help me relieve some stress” This was a code word for head. “Seriously?! Right now?” You whisper angrily. “I know it’s bad timing but I’ve been craving you and I’m at my breaking point darling” You’re disappointed in him for even thinking of doing something like that in this moment. The movie was boring anyways so you think of some ways to make him pay for being a h*rny mess. “Mhm” Luckily you guys brought a blanket. One of the reasons being you get cold in the theater another being because of instances like this. You cover yourself and him and go underneath. Unzipping his pants and releasing his gigantic c*ck. You go down on it and you feel it take up all the space in your throat. “Mm~” he says quietly. This is crazy! You might get caught if you gag the slightest. Luckily he trained your throat to take on his massive d*ck. You start going up and down slowly speeding up the pace gradually and going slower to edge him a little. “F-fuck~” Nanami rarely cusses but when he does it means something. He lowers his head to where yours is. “Your mouth feels so fucking good darlin’” You swirl your tongue around in a circle around the tip. “Baby…please… i’m going to…c-cu-” he stuttered in your ear quietly. You taste the precum on your tongue. His d*ck getting harder in your mouth by the second. You lift you head up from under the covers. “Let’s take this somewhere else” you say looking into his eyes. He was nearly red. “But the movie-“ He said but he stopped himself as he realized how much he wanted to fuck you.

You both run outside of the theater into his car. It was brand new. You didn’t want to ruin the interior but the thought of him fucking you recklessly messed with your logical thinking. You both hop in the BMW. He’s yanking at his tie to take it off. You’re unbuttoning your blouse as fast as you can and slipping down your skirt. He’s taking of his pants and unbuttoning his shirt also. You both look at each other with pure lust. You both start making out intensely as your tongues are dancing harmoniously in each others mouths. Siliava dripping down your faces. You lay back in the back seat and he turns and faces you with his back facing the windshield window and the steering wheel. “Put your hands together above your head like a good girl for me darling” Nanami says “Yes sir” His veiny hand gripping both of your wrists together as he uses his other one to grab his d*ck and slide it against your p*ssy. You moan slightly as he sticks it in. “You know how fucking long i’ve been waiting for his” He says as he rams his d*ck in you roughly. “Ah~ N-Nanami” You moan. He takes his free hand and cover your mouth with it still gripping your wrists firmly. “I can’t believe you’ve kept this from me from that fucking long. I know i’ve been busy but you know how addictive your p*ssy is right?” “M-mhm” you say as he goes faster and more roughly. “You’re so.. warm darling. I love f*cking you raw like this.” You’re moans get louder and louder. “Nanami.. Please slow down” you beg. “F-Fuck baby I’m gonna cum in you i don’t think I can pull out. It feels so good~” He moans. “You turn me into a person I don’t want to be darling but I love it.” He goes faster as he yaps while he’s thrusting inside you. “N-Nanami~ Ah~” “I love it when you moan my name, louder princess” “No baby please I~ Nana-mi-” Your moans unintentionally get louder. “Fuck i’m gonna cum baby. You look so pretty when I fuck you like this. My sweet darling~” He moans in his deep soothing voice. “I can’t take it anymore darling I’m cumming. I’m cumming~” he says as he thrusts one last time into you before filling you up with 2 weeks worth of hot steaming cum. Your legs start to shake once he’s finished. He’s putting on his clothes and he noticed them shaking. He rubs your thigh. “You alright princess? I’m sorry If I hurt you my love.” “No, you didn’t. I guess I wasn’t used to you being that rough with me.” you explain. “I apologize love. It won’t happen again. I was just frustrated it’s been so long since I’ve relieved myself” “It’s okay my love” You kiss him on the cheek. “Just let me know sooner next time so it doesn’t build up like that” He starts helping you out back on your clothes and opens the door letting you out so you can sit in the front seat. He opens your door and always around it sit in the drivers seat. He looks back at the mess yall made. Cum all over the seats. “I guess I’ll go get our car cleaned tomorrow”. You giggle “Make sure you tip them.” you imagine the look on their faces as they clean it up. “You know I always do”

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut #smut #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk nanami #nanami smut #jujutsu nanami

[capricioussun]

More for the blorbo!

Does he have a favorite genre of music or a favorite band? Is he right handed, left handed, ambidextrous, or cross-dominant? Does he play any musical instruments, either underground or topside? Do you HC him with claws or just like really sharp "nails" that can be filed down? How does he deal with those?

And of course, you can always save these for when you have time!

Taking a break from attack work so I will answer these!!

His music taste is…eclectic. The thing is, he’s kind of…weird? About music? It’s super hard to gauge what he will or won’t like because he will determine his opinion on a song with completely unknowable metrics. He might like a song sheerly because of the impressive number of brass instruments. He might hate a song because of the number of times they use a specific chord progression. This song is about lunar cycles? Ugh, tacky. This song accurately references a Greek parable others usually get wrong? 12/10 great song (please note the song could actually sound like virtually almost anything). Though he’s also not really a hater, so he’s pretty relaxed about most music, as long as it isn’t too…uh, extreme? (He’d probably hate stuff like msi) Though he does admittedly have a slight soft spot for classic rock, folk, and proper classic music because of the few cassettes and Walkman he had to fix he found at the dump a long time ago… He would like My Chem if for no other reason than the Aesthetic (he can respect commitment to the bit. He might also even genuinely like a few of their songs)

He is ambidextrous! This is a hc I share with all Papyri! It was simply a matter of needing to be able to use both hands with the same level of efficiency, which actually ties in well with the next question!

It’s also part of why he learned piano! To help with hand eye coordination and dexterity! So Edge can play the piano, but…he doesn’t anymore, or at least very very rarely…

He actually has claws!! And he hates them! /hj but to explain, Edge’s claws are very real and very annoying. Due to the genetic experimentation, they are incredibly sharp, and he actually has very mild regenerative abilities. What this essentially means is that his claws are virtually untrimmable. They grow back almost instantly, he’d have to pretty much declaw himself like a cat (surgically removing the entire last phalanx of each finger) to get rid of them, and that’s way more of an inconvenience than the claws themselves are. However when they first started getting that sharp (around the age of 11), they were a big problem, and it wasn’t long before Sans had to call in a favor with Alphys to help him make Special gloves for Edge that were pretty close to untearable, since they were catching on everything. Edge couldn’t even change his clothes or bathe himself properly without winding up covered in hairline scratches and ruining the fabric.

They’ve thankfully rugged-ed out a little with age, so they’re not still that crazy sharp, but they are still sharp enough he continues wearing the gloves all the time lest he risk nicking himself or destroying clothes. He could alternatively use claw caps to prevent unwanted cutting and tearing, but he also has sensory issues, and his hands especially can be super sensitive, so the gloves are very good for that, too (a headcanon I share for UT Papyrus as well!)

At least they come in handy with looking intimidating! (Pun intended)

#i have this gif saved somewhere of how fast I kinda imagine his claws growing back. I’ll see if I can find it #smol-dargon #I feel so insane for answering these so long windedly but he’s my blorbo. my little meow meow. the hostess with the mostest he lives rent #free in a little apartment above a cafe in my brain and sometimes I play Kenny g for him and it confuses him but he doesn’t mind that much #he just thinks it’s weird. i also gave him a little cat named oreo (named by the shelter) and a cat named creature (named by him) #I provide him with enrichment like a tiger at the zoo and in return he doesn’t materialize into reality to maim me for everything I put him #through #okay I’m getting weird in the tags it’s time for a nap I think #(they said knowing full well they are not going to nap and will likely have a snack and draw some more instead) #-rotates him in my mind faster- #everybody else is weird about Spamton or sans but I’m over here being weird about uf Papyrus like a cool guy #😎 #okay okay I’m done I’m stopping now fuck #sun spots #underfell papyrus #uf edge #clear sky sunset #underfell #papyrus

[pm0]

me when i’m literally sooo chill and nonchalant about being trapped inside a computer till the end of time like i literally do not care at all seriously idgaf I fr don't I really couldnt care less

#can I be so real with y’all I almost lost faith in this drawing bc of its fucked up composition like I almost gave up… #it’s okay now though we pull through 🫡 #my art #the amazing digital circus #tadc #ragatha #tadc ragatha #sorry ​I keep drawing characters inaccurately on purpose for no reason I can’t stop myself.. #mfw I’m in a drawing characters off-model contest & my opponent is me<3 #ok I’m done talking I’m too tired to talk anymore. ok bye

[honeypleasejustkillme]

we all broke our rules for someone

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd #bpd favorite person #bpd problems #bpd vent #bpd mood #my friends constantly tell me how many red flags he has and i’m just like ‶red is a great color″ #like idc what ur guys opinions are about him.. i love him more than you anyways #like be fucking fr #and they know that.. they just try to make me ‶stop being dumb″ and know i ‶deserve better″ but idc i want him #like yea he’s done some fucked up things to me but so has everyone else so like it’s not a big deal to me anymore.. at the time i was very #upset but now it’s okay.. i don’t mind him hurting me as long as he’s here #beloved.txt

[ilikecheeseandchocolatee]

If you could relive any of your memories, which would it be?

Okay I really had to think about this and I’m a bit torn, but I’ve settled for one of the two memories that have been contending for first place. I’ll tell you both of them anyway.

The one that has NOT won first place is from 2021, me playing skribbl.in with my discord friends late in the night. I think this will always be one of my most cherished memories because I love skribbl.io, and I’m not allowed to stay up late and I had done it anyway (by sneaking), and my parents are constantly paranoid that I’ll end up talking to someone on the internet (I’m not allowed to speak to people on the internet. Which I do anyway. That’s the only way I can network as an artist who rarely goes out in public.) and getting whisked away and kidnapped and sold for body parts, so I was basically breaking a lot of rules that I didn’t agree with AND I was having a wonderful time with people that cared about me and listened to me and it’s yeah honestly such a cherished memory.

The memory that WON FIRST PLACE tho, is not so glamorous. It was in 2018, I think, and I was in India. I had twisted my ankle a few weeks prior to this memory, and it was raining as I was walking out from school to the bus. I was limping and I had an umbrella with flowers on it. These three guys (from school) behind me poked my umbrella and at first I thought it had been an accident so I ignored them, but then I heard them laughing at me. And making fun of my limp. I ignored them because I was limping and I couldn’t really do much if they all decided to get physical. But they actually followed me quite a ways and eventually they also started making fun of my British accent, and I was getting REALLY fucking worked up. I don’t actually remember what the trigger was, but suddenly I just turned around, limped over to the three guys, and just straight up punched them. They were just standing there while I limped over to them. The one that was in my class turned on his heel and ran in the opposite direction the moment I started limping towards them because he’s seen me in action but the other two guys just stood there like Tf is this little girl gonna do. So I went over, and punched them good. And the look on their faces? I want to see that look again. That day was the day I incited fear in guys from all across my year-group because until then it was only within my class. After that day no one bothered me again, everyone was respectful to me. I really really want to see that look again because the memory of their expressions has all but faded and I really want to just cement that into my brain to cheer me up with I’m feeling low and useless. Btw after I punched them and saw the look on their faces I just turned right around and headed for my bus and they didn’t follow. That adrenaline was coursing through my blood vessels and my heart was thrumming. I only processed what I’d done when I was sitting in the bus. It was a great feeling.

So yeah you’re welcome for the enormous answer.

#thank you for the ask! #i ramble #answers of the cheese #and also don’t worry they weren’t grievously injured I just punched them enough to rattle them #and perhaps cause a bit of pain I guess because yk they WERE scared of me after that #after I processed what I’d done I felt so good but I was also feeling so guilty because like #in my class whoever I’d punched had also punched me back but these guys just didn’t they just gave up #so the next day I went and apologised to one of the guys because I have no idea who the other one is and where I can find him #and he was like ‘it’s okay you can stop the accent now’ which I didn’t understand so I was like okay bye #and then later I asked my friend and I think he meant that he thought my British accent was fake? #boy I wish #but no yeah the next year he ended up being in my class and let me tell you it was a great feeling when his other friends who don’t know me #tried to antagonise me and he just panickedly pulled them away from me without explanation #also for those who are concerned about me now I was in the eighth grade and I was so immature and I promise I’m not violent anymore #i havent punched anyone since eighth grade I think #and I’m weak as fuck now #but I’m not violent anymore and I’ve grown as a person and I’d handle the situation in a much more mature way if it had happened to me now #back then I had anger issues so yeah I wouldn’t have been good with words #so yeah anyway #cheese out

[existentialcrisis-24-7]

Pro tip: do not reorganise someone’s setup ever unless you’ve asked first. You’re not doing them a favour

#okay to reblog #vent #none of you can stop me from venting #actually fuming!! I was about to go bake brownies which is usually an enjoyable activity but everyone is misplaced and for the first time #in actual years I have had to take all the neat boxes out to sift through them because usually all the stuff I use most often is at the #front but no!! not anymore!! it’s all at the fucking back!!! for some reason!! #this wouldn’t have bothered me so much if this was done while I wasn’t bedridden with covid and actually had some say. but no #and now I’m too stressed to actually bake which is really bad and upsetting bc I promised several people I would!! #autistic #adhd #idk they probably tie into this #actually autistic #actually adhd

[exopelagic]

okay I’m going insane I need to fix my sleep schedule now

#I cannot keep getting up at/after midday this is driving me crazy #SO. I’m gonna not do ice hockey for a little bit until I can get myself normal #I want to step away from ice hockey anyway bc the new committee are being annoying and I need them to stop making me do things #tonight I will go to bed at midnight. and I will stop everything to get ready for bed by 10 bc I need that time #and tomorrow I’m setting my alarm for 7:30 #I’m going to have mornings again if it kills me bc this is making me feel like shit now #will also mean hopefully I’m less stressed about work and can schedule stuff with my friends bc oh my god everything has been a nightmare #this week. and it’s only Tuesday what the fuck #also going to make a sleep tracker again bc that worked in February #and I’m setting library times for weekdays as 9:30-12 and 2-5 because getting there is the problem and I normally stay longer once I’m ther #and that worked for exams AND there’s just less work to do now so if I can keep on top of it everything should be fine #just have to actually do it #like right now I rlly need to go get writing bc I need to figure out some title options and that needs to be done by tomorrow afternoon #otherwise there won’t be time to get feedback from my supervisor before the deadline #so while today might be a bit of a lost cause bc I need to shower go to the shop and cook which takes most of the free working time #I can do something and if I can make tomorrow morning work I’ll have enough time #I’m okay with having periodic getting my shit together days as long as I do use them to get my shit together #now pls. get your shit together <3 #luke.txt

[be-gay-do-crime-ahaha]

Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.

#dysphoria #gender dysphoria #sensory processing disorder #tw emetophobia #for the nausea mention #idk if that’s needed or not #but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind #it’s so over #lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit #and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role #even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now #and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well #so that’s not helping #and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman #and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses #(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient) #and is being all ��hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine” #like fucking hell #shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once #man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit #and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks #and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the #stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit #I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about #it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed #to bring myself to start working on it #and things are just gonna get more and more difficult #so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys #did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress #tw suicidal thoughts

[floral-hex]

Haven’t been sleeping well because, and this is the stupidest reason, I’m so full of damnable longing. All I do is yearn and pine and want.

#I hate it! #I just want to fall in love! #not long distance. not through an app. I want to meet someone and be awkward and flirt and be messy and work for it. #I’m 35 now and I feel like I’m too old for that #which yeah I know sounds ridiculous. life goes on. I’ve got time. blah blah blah. #but I do wish I’d done the standard meeting and falling for someone in school and marrying young and having kids #all that milquetoast basic stuff #BUT IT’S NOT BASIC! I want that! I want that security and young love that just grows and grows! #can you imagine building that kind of connection with someone? #I know there’s plenty of valid criticisms towards marrying your high school sweetheart but come on… lemme dream a little #I don’t want to fill out applications online and trawl dating sites for someone! #I want the friends to awkward more than friends to maybe more to yes! please why did we wait I know you. I’ve known you. I accept you. #I want someone to know me and want me for who I am #aaaaaaaaaa I’m fucking foaming at the mouth #I can’t stop thinking about it and it makes my chest ache so much #and I feel like I’m too old for that! I have no social life! I’m not in school around other people! how could this even happen for me? #stupid! #😮‍💨… okay… calm down Ian… it’s cool. we’re cool. #I don’t want to sleep. I just want to lay in bed and imagine being in love all night. #gross. gross gross gross. #you can ignore this #goodbye forever #text

[pepprs]

ok i took a nap sorry for miseryposting

#purrs #i don’t feel better per se but i do feel less angry so i think that’s good. but i did have a fucked up and disturbing dream so now im #focused on that a little bit but it’s whatever. i think i just feel stuck in my life and overwhelmed rn but i have to be gentle with myself #and okay with accepting outcomes that are compromises even if i really don’t want to. but idk. i have to think on it more. and i wish i felt #less lonely bc i KNOW i am not it’s just i have no emotional object permanence and i keep dismantling all my inoculations and then crying #out for more inoculations and i don’t know how to stop. and now im getting upset again typing this so I’m going to stop even though i havent #gotten to the end of my thought yet and like reblog some things or watch a video idk. i really need to find a counselor and speaking of #which i feel like someone told me lately (on here probably and ididnt reply im sorry) that my counseling place should give me referrals to o #other places and they didn’t and maybe it’s bc i told them i was taking a break from counseling but i am kind of like 😐😑. but i’ll figure it #out and find someone. i think there’s a thing i can do through work i just have to gather the spoons to actually do it and i spent all of th #them on the drivers manual today. also i read like half the drivers manual today! which is something to acknowledge. ok im done now bye